#i like this meme because it allows me to show off bits out of context with minimal effort

[ingravinoveritas]

Follow-up to this post and a point-by-point recap of last night's events:

- Definitely thought I would be nervous, but as soon as I saw Neil waiting backstage from the vantage of my fourth row seat, all that went away.

- The event was a tribute to Ray Bradbury, with Neil and several actors reading different short stories and Neil talking about them in between. He started off the night by talking about being a TikTok meme ("Neil Gaiman, why are you in my falafel?") and how his time as a meme was almost up.

- There was an after party in the bar following the show, and the ticket I had purchased allowed me to attend. I didn't even realize Neil was there yet because he was so low profile and just chilling while a line began to form at his table.

- When I went up to him, he was very smiley and kind and soft-spoken. I mentioned really enjoying the Bradbury story he read ("The Homecoming") because it felt like an allegory for autism, for an autistic person in a family full of neurotypicals, and it really resonated with me. So we talked Ray Bradbury and writing and it was lovely. - I also mentioned the tweets from a few years ago (here and here) that involved him commenting on a photo of me in a red bikini and me offering to cook him dinner if he came to New Jersey, and he remembered! Haha. He also still seemed very interested in the offer and said, "It's a date" and "We'll do dinner." Oh, Neil... - At the end, I somehow finally remembered to tell him my name and said "I'm Amy" as we shook hands. To which he replied, "It's lovely to meet you, Amy. I'm Neil." - After we took the picture, I wished Neil a good flight (the venue staff said they were trying to hurry up the queue because he had an early flight today) and safe travels, and he said "Thank you!" and was again so sweet and lovely and just a person. - Didn't talk to Neil about anything Good Omens, but I did end up chatting with a woman who knows Rob Wilkins (someone waiting in the queue asked Neil how to get in touch with Rob and he pointed to this woman, so that was how I first became aware of her). Later on in the evening, after Neil left, we were on the other side of the bar and struck up a conversation about all things GO, Terry Pratchett, fandoms, Michael and David's chemistry, and much more. She also told me to follow her on Instagram and message her if I ever needed tips for navigating the overwhelm that is NYCC. A totally unexpected and thoroughly enjoyable conversation overall. - Also got to talk with Yetide Badaki (who was in American Gods and one of the actors who performed last night) and she was beyond lovely. I complimented her performance and said how it was "like Siri, but less creepy" and she burst out laughing and asked if she could put that in her résumé. Haha. The topic of autism came up and she said how it was so important to her and how there needs to be more awareness. I mentioned being a professional speaker and that I've done a TED talk on autism, and she said she wanted to watch it. Again, completely unexpected interaction, but so delightful and so much fun.

My overall thoughts and takeaway from this is that real life is very, very much different and not the same thing at all as online fandom. It was incredibly refreshing to see Neil and talk to him in a non-fandom context, and to see how gracious he was with every person in line (adults, kids, couples, all of it). He signed books, took pictures with people, and hugged fans who seemed to be sharing particularly emotional moments. I feel like the fandom tends to treat Neil like some kind of god, but for me, I truly enjoyed seeing and getting to meet him as a person--charming, intelligent, funny, polite, and just a bit awkward...

[thingsmysplattershotjrtoldme]

Dedf1sh Lives On The Agent's Couch Headcanons

Not going to include my New Agent 3 Sona here so more people can read this without context, so a few things will be different from the eventual fanfic.

🟢 Dedf1sh is found by New 3 and taken in without permission from the others, but is allowed to stay for research reasons (Captain wants to study her to figure out more about Sanitization since they had to endure it themselves and sometimes they feel like it's trying to control them again)

🟢 Lil' Buddy doesn't like her strictly because of the fact that when he saw her green skin, his immediate thought was "oh, guacamole", however when he bit her, he discovered that she did not, in fact, taste like guac. New 3 had to give him a lecture about how even if someone looks like food, they are not food. (Cod help them if Lil' Buddy ever meets Crusty Sean) Dedf1sh was mildly offended when she was bitten, but was otherwise unharmed.

🟢 As for her relationships with the agents, she has a bit of a soft spot for New 3, who thinks she's pretty cool and easy to chill with. Dedf1sh actually really likes 8, even if she can't show it much, she feels like she owes them for taking down Kamabo Co. 4 seems like a strange meme goblin to her, but she's as impressed as she can be with their studiousness (a part of her is wary though, that amount of dedication is what lead her down this unfortunate road). She and the Captain, tho they vouched for her to stay, don't really trust each other. Dedf1sh swears the Captain is hiding something, because no one but other Sanitized are that stoic. She has yet to meet the Squid Sisters, so she's neutral on them, but she thinks Marina from Off The Hook is pretty fresh, though she can't remember why she thinks that.

🟢 Doesn't seem to have very strong emotions at first and tends to be extremely blunt. Cannot taste food but will start to slow down if she doesn't have something in her stomach. Has a preference for noodles like ramen because they're quick and have a good mouth feel. Refuses to eat mushy foods like applesauce or foods with a pudding texture because they remind her too much of the nutrition packs she was basically forced to eat in the metro. Tho she can't taste, she can feel certain food feelings, like spice or the cooling of mint, so she prefers foods with extreme flavors for the sensation.

🟢 Spends most of her days on the agents couch, occasionally going out (after slathering on as much of the Captain's concealer and foundation on any visible skin as much as possible) with the others to help with chores or pick up dinner so she doesn't feel like she's mooching.

If anyone wants anymore of these headcanons, let me know, I might do a part 2!

[voidify333]

Got a lot of OFMD vibes from Good Omens s2???

BIG spoilers for both GO S2 and OFMD S1 under the cut

Like, this isn’t a situation for the copied homework meme format, I believe it’s just same braincell on a really juicy story beat to create drama in a high concept romance, but I find the similarities fascinating so I’m gonna post about them. (What’s funny is that the thing that actually got me to watch OFMD in the first place is the promise of Stede being like aziraphale and blackbonnet being like A/C…)

The main thing is how the ending of ep 6 reminded me of OFMD ep 9.

The central pair kiss for the first time— letting any remaining oblivious audience members know this isn’t just a bromance, and alienating any homophobes in the audience who weren’t already alienated by the queer supporting characters. (That last bit is actually the biggest other “ofmd vibes” thing I picked up— how the very queer supporting roster served both to let homophobes know the show isn’t for them, and to reassure the queer audience that they’re allowed to hope for the main pair being Outright Canon)

But they also enter their divorce era— specifically, what happens is this:

The sunshine bookworm has a scene with a character the audience recognises as antagonistic (completely different scenes though— Stede’s traumatic experience with the bully in the woods vs Az being emotionally manipulated by metatron into thinking coming back to heaven is a good idea)

This scene, combined with his existing insecurities, causes him to return to a life that he won’t even find fulfilling (we know this bc he stepped away from it in the first place!) but he’s been convinced that it’s The Thing He Has To Do

In the process, he abandons his black-clad true love and breaks his heart

But here (in addition to all the obvious differences in context and execution), the season cliffhanger cuts away BEFORE “episode 10” as it were.

And… I don’t think “episode 10” is going to happen immediately for Aziraphale when lights go up on s3. Like, the “love epiphany” part may come in an early episode (we saw the way he touched his lip), but he’s certainly not getting the “plan to leave” part until some time further into s3, because the life he’s mistakenly gone back to isn’t with a Mary figure who cares about him but wants him elsewhere as much as he secretly wants to be elsewhere— instead, it’s with Heaven, an abusive cult that is planning to use him to destroy Earth, and has the power to destroy him on a whim.

Aziraphale’s key insecurity is his need for authoritative reassurance that he is Doing The Right Thing. This is what allowed metatron to use the offer of heaven to manipulate Az into hurting Crowley’s feelings and then abandoning Crowley. The tone demands an eventual happy ending (my faith in this is why the ending of e6 didn’t even make me mad), but Az is going to have to work through those issues before the happy ending can take place— Nina basically spelled this out.

The next place this comparison led me was to the thought “can I connect a red string on my cork board between post s2 crowley and ep10 Ed?”

There is an important difference between them, and it’s in kind of the opposite direction as the difference between Az-when-we-cut-away and Stede-when-we-cut-away

Ed has closed himself off to vulnerability completely after his heartbreak, and lashes out horribly, and we all know the reunion in s2e1 is not going to go smoothly

Meanwhile, although Crowley is heartbroken and mad… he is ultimately like Maggie on the “I hope she’ll be there when I’m ready but there’s no guarantee—” “there is” front. Aziraphale needs to work through his issues, and the plot needs to get to a place where The Real Big One is foiled and neither of them are in imminent danger of destruction, and once Az stops being an idiot he will need to do a great many “you were wrong” dances, but once all those prerequisites are fulfilled, we’re getting our second kiss (and I’m fanning myself just thinking about that hypothetical scene hoooooboy)

Maybe there will be a period of “angel I can’t forgive you. not yet”, that would be juicy drama, but the tone of the story demands that any such moment will be temporary

However, I do have a vivid mental image now, inspired by e10 Ed, of post s2 crowley standing in the bookshop and saying to himself out loud “oh, nothing lasts forever, is that right, angel?” and then going on a bender of destroying or giving away books (I lean towards giving away as it would leave less permanent fallout for later, and also be funnier, while still being just as potent a gesture of spite in the moment)

Anyway when OFMD S2 comes out and we get a better look at the blackbonnet divorce arc I’m going to try to use it as a divination tool to predict the events of the A/C divorce arc

[etherealdemon]

🤍 + minsi & yejun

send me a 🤍 + a ship and i’ll answer some questions about them!

who cooks meals for the others?

minsi is the designated cook between the two of them because yejun should not be allowed to go anywhere near the kitchen. she's not exactly the best at cooking but she tries her hardest and yejun will literally eat anything that she makes. he genuinely likes her cooking even if she knows it's not the best thing out there.

who spams the other with memes?

both! sending memes is like a love language for both of them. there are times when their messages are literally just a bunch of memes sent to one another with no texts or context at all.

who likes to tidy around the house?

minsi! yejun is a little messy and tends to leave his things around the house. minsi's the one who's always telling him off for leaving his things in random places.

who likes to play pranks on the other?

both! i feel like these two secretly have a prank war going on between them. they're both agents of chaos and pranks seem to be another way of them showing their affection for each other.

who asked the other to move in with them?

i mean i'm pretty sure both are living in dorms with their respective groups but i can definitely see yejun asking her to move in with him once they move out of their dorms. yejun has literally never experienced living alone. he went from his parents, to the uni:verse dorms, to living with minsi.

who is in charge of the music during a car ride?

minsi takes charge of the music because yejun is usually the one driving. his favourite playlist is also 'every posy song ever' and sometimes minsi would just like to listen to songs that aren't by her group.

who is more likely to tickle the other mercilessly?

yejun. he's just annoying like that and will take any opportunity to create chaos. it always ends up with them running around and chasing each other. they once ran around the entire apex building trying to catch one another.

who needs to hold the other while watching scary movies?

minsi. yejun is like this huge, tall dude but he is so pathetic. he gets scared easily when watching horror movies that minsi will literally have to sit there while he hides underneath their blanket.

who has to help the other when it comes to technology?

i think both are pretty good when it comes to using technology, but there are some instances where yejun will have to ask minsi for some help because he's just stupid.

who likes to get a bit frisky in public/ an inappropriate setting?

neither! both are very good when it comes to this because they know apex will literally snipe them if they are somewhat showing affection to each other in public.

who wakes up first, and do they wake up the other or let them rest?

when they both don't have work, it's usually minsi who gets up first. yejun is a deep sleeper and can sleep for hours on end without any hesitation. minsi probably wakes him up just so he can eat something.

who is always taking pictures of the other when they aren’t looking?

yejun! he loves taking random pics of minsi while they are doing the most mundane things. his favourite thing to do though is to take unflattering selfies on minsi's phone when she's not aware of it. she'll literally open her phone the next day to see 100+ new pics of yejun.

who always forgets their wallet and never ends up paying for anything?

yejun. he's forgetful and never double checks to see if he has his wallet with him. he also forgets he's rich sometimes so whenever they go out together, he'll always be like 'oh but can we afford this minsi? :('. like bitch please u make bank. he'll always make sure to treat minsi to something the next time they go out together if she ends up paying the last time.

who can’t sleep because the other snores or moves too much at night?

i feel like neither. both are always so tired from their jobs that sleeping is never an issue for them. i feel like they both drop dead the minute they get home and don't wake up until they're fully rested again.

who is better at video games, and do they let the other win or show no mercy?

both are very good at video games and playing games is another bonding activity together. whether they're playing at home or at the arcade, they always make it a competition to see who wins. they're both very competitive as well when it comes to gaming so there's no way that they would let the other win.

who always gets up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and accidentally wakes the other?

probably yejun. occasionally, he'll get up in the middle of the night because he's realised he's hungry. he's also pretty clumsy so getting out of bed when he's half asleep will never be easy for him. he probably bumps into their bedside table which causes a loud noise and accidentally wakes minsi up.

[shredsandpatches]

WIP Guessing Game: tile, gesture, elsewhere

Going with the novelthing for this one, since it's what I've been working the most on:

"Tile" doesn't appear in it at all, despite the presence of Wat Tyler! In my defense, I will point out that there is certainly debate among scholars as to the question of whether he was actually a tiler and his surname was occupational, or whether it was just inherited (as apparently-occupational surnames could be at this point in history: Geoffrey Chaucer was the son of a vintner but has a surname that suggests shoe or hose production). Some of the chronicles spell it "Tegheler." Now, it could well have been an occupational name, of course; Maidstone in Kent was a major center of tile production. In any case my version of him hasn't mentioned anything about his profession, though he has mentioned fighting in the war in France.

I'm gonna do the gesture one behind a cut and put "elsewhere" in the reblog because it's a long novel with a lot of words and apparently my characters wave their hands around a lot.

"Gesture":

Arundel quickly bows his head, the safest gesture of obeisance he can make without dropping his king.

He thinks of the automaton in the shape of a golden angel that had presented him with a crown during his procession yesterday: he feels like he has become an automaton himself, nodding to people and making benign gestures.

He gestures to the servants at the edge of the room who are busily preparing the boutehors (sweet spices, and more comfits; the Richard of days past, who had been able to think of food without dread, would have been excited about the comfits).

“And yet those men—” he gestures toward the royal party— “have everything, while the great majority of men and women—” and now he gestures toward the massed commons that surround them— “have little, or nothing.”

He and Ball exchange a glance; Ball shakes his head in a tight little gesture, and after another moment Straw nods.

He gestures toward the assembled crowd, those in front of the hospital and those surrounding them in the field.

“We found the arch-traitors, and we did justice. It wasn’t pretty, but neither are the lives of these people.” He gestures again toward the crowd.

Tresilian rests a hand on Richard’s shoulder, just for a moment, in a gesture that might be a paternal reassurance, but the slight pressure he applies might also be a stern warning: now is not the time for mercy.

Before the doors of the great hall close, he presses his fingers to his lips and then holds them toward Anne in a gesture of benediction.

She gestures toward the door, and Richard lifts his head and blinks at her—he’d been very careful not to bring it up in any way, and apparently Anne can guess what he’s thinking because she adds, “My mother warned me about it. Actually, she said people would probably want to watch, or at least be in the room.”

Anne gestures frantically at the sheets.

He shrugs, but there’s no real insouciance in the gesture, and he presses a hand to his eyes.

He gestures to Mowbray. “Tom and I,” he continues, “we only wanted de Vere out of favor! That’s all it’s ever been!”

He gestures towards the blood-soaked stones. “Get that filth off the floor,” he says.

[archiarthur]

UT/UF/US Sans x Male/Masculine Streamer Reader

Quick things to clear out

- this is my frist time writing multiple headcanons, for multiple characters at once

- I couldn't think of any multiplayer horror game that I know pretty good, other than phasmophobia. All that stuff I know from watching others, and ngl, memory lmao.

- I haven't written for UF and US Sans before, so don't kill me. This is how I see them.

-US Sans ain't a baby

- let US Sans say fuck sometimes ✨

UT Sans

- So you're a steamer? Good for you.

- Don't worry if he's over in your house and you're playing, afraid to wake his lazy ass up by yelling without realising. He can even sleep off a hurricane.

- Kinda jealous, beacuse you can sit down, play, have fun and get some money.

- Definitely showed up on your streams, at least once, in the backround. Maybe said "Hey" to chat too once or twice.

- You have to deal with your fans then spamming chat with,, who dis,, or ,, SANS,, or overused joke,, So cool,,

- Context to the last one is: when you were explaining the game on your stream, to both him and your chat, everytime you finished a sentence he said, so cool.

- Don't forget puns, he taught them some

- Chat remembers everything, this is your curse now.

- Sans definitely stream snipped you at least multiple times. For example, you play animal crossing? He knows your island code? Broom Broom mf, somone is coming to your island to steal your coconuts or something.

- BTW his island is lazy, except memes on the floor too

- Surprisingly good in shooting games but not a pro.

- Playing a puzzle game? *cracks knuckles * let me tell you an answer, casually, to ruin your fun or not. I love you too babe <3

- In all seriousness, as much as he likes to play around with you, he's chill he's most of the times in the backround not visibale, vibing.

- Sometimes comments on your stream even, even when he's next to you.

Now to inviting him to play a horror game with you

- At first politely refusing, saying he doesn't want to ruin your fun. But he caved after you said he's allowed to make as many puns as you like

- You almost regretted your life choices after telling both chat and him how to play phasmophobia. Beacuse this cheeky adorable bastard said,, so cool,, in the end.

- Chat both hated it and loved it.

- At first it was still explaining him some stuff here and there. It was chill and even kinda funny. What did you except, its Sans he is a man that tickles the funny bones.

-Yes he did that joke, he told you to see the bone, asked you if it does look funny to you and tickled it.

Now depends what type are you, you either threw something in his direction or started laughing. Or both /neither.

- The hunt is what got him woken up. Have you ever seen Sans choke on his words and get awaken from his sloth mood? Now you have.

- You were sitting safely behind a door, or something, watching him lose control over his character lmao.

- In the same round when Sans calmed down (a little -) you decided to troll him a tiny bit. Since he's still new, you can.

- You got the beating heart sound ready, your throat, you waited till he didn't had his flashlight on, and then decided to turn the lights off and pretend it's a hunt.

- Sans YELLED only to then a second later realise its you. He was laughing his ass off, congrats king, you did all that to scare him 👑

- Hey did you know that when you die as a ghost you can throw shit? You knew : ) or at least now you know BUT SHH.

- He was a little nervous because you're dead, and he's left alone to figure out what type of ghost it is.

- Nearly broke his back by jumping when you threw something in front of his face. He wasn't ready, it was quiet OK?.

,, ASGOR-OW,,

,, *silent wheeze cuz u dead *,,

,, You slick bastard *chuckle*,,

- Sans was actually really good at analysing ghost and the game. Quickly casually playing after a few rounds.

- Aw you had your fun :c

- Sans isn't mad or anything at you, he actually found that pretty funny, and that he deserved it. Still, he won't forget it.

- Don't except him to be more present on your streams tho. You two do it alone as a thing to spend time together because you got him interested.

- Good luck trying to make him play again on stream. It's not like he doesn't like it,but he just prefers it when it's you two alone, maybe one of your friends coming along, sharing laughs, open.

UF Sans

- *plays guitar * you're in their bed, I'm in their twitch chat

- This man is a streamer too, or at least a sweaty gamer that likes to show off sometimes, bonus points if you two met through streaming/gaming

- He's your numer 1 fan but also a #1 pain in the ass

- What's this? A donation? Show yourself shirtless? From Coccyx_Kicker69 ?... Sans you gay ass mf

- If he's at your place you can hear him laughing from another room after you read that. No matter what's your reaction.

- Babe, watch this, this one's for you *misses the trick shot*

- He's still good watch out

- He's sweaty, but won't say no to a small chilling game session, together after a long day

- Chat knows you two are dating/have a thing, won't shut up about it when one is mentioned.

- Your chat loves Sans, his chat loves you.

- You yell while playing? Well you got yourself a competition my friend.

- After a hard match, if you'd massage his shoulders, he's bliss. Couldn't ask for a better boy(bone) friend, you're the best.

- Definitely does puns to fuck with your chat sometimes, or when the opportunity is just golden.

- If you think this man swears like a sailor before, wait till you hear him play when frustrated.

- If you need help with your game he will tease the hell out of you, but will do it...eventually. Don't be surprised if he wants something in return tho ;D

- Definitely drinks stuff like Gfuel, MountainDew and Monster. Also eats Doritos? Why? He thoguhts its funny but then it stopped being a joke.

Now to inviting him to play a horror game with you

- Fuck yeah, collab stream maybe 👁?

- Isn't experienced in horror very much, but knows his stuff

- This man lived in the underground. He's form Underfell universe I don't think you can make him jump so easily. Or at least without getting something hit.

- Played around while you explained the rules in the backround

- If y'all or he is on VR... Bro you know he slapped your ass

- Definitely tried to glitch in the lobby out of boredom or just because

- He was feeling a little off by having to play in a hunted house, especially if it happens to have not working lights at first

- He panicked at the hunt mostly because there's a ghost running after him, and doesn't want to die and it's first time, let's be honest

- All you can get is a jump or a yell, one or two. But damn is it worth it

- He once thoguht you were a ghost and it was dark af. Almost broke his equipment.

- I like to think when he's nervous you can catch him sing dump shit like,, IIIIIIM GONNA DIE 🎶,, under his nose

- If you both hiding in the same place during a hunt he'd try to make you laugh.

- Little rat tells the ghost to get you insted, because you actually have a juicy ass and all, unlike him,when he's being chased.

- Laughs 'sorry babe" when you do actually die lmao. You're allowed to throw shit at him.

- Curses like a sailor ™

- If he's living with Papyrus or he's over. If you're lucky you can hear him laughing his ass off. Hearing his bro scared, especially because of you, puts him in a good mood.

- Hear him groan to death when you both die or get the wrong ghost

" IT WAS A JINN? UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH"

"babe-"

"FUCK"

- In general pretty good and fun to play with.

- 10/10 would definitely want to play with you again... Unless he had a rough game, and he's a little salty, then give him some time, he has to rest for a bit.

US Sans

(y'all gonna be disappointed by this one, I'm shit at it)

- Tbh kinda a gamer too. But his favourites are detective, puzzle ones.

- You're a steamer? That's so cool!

- Definitely shows up in your streams, not bothered. Says hi to chat everytime : D

- Man's loud so be aware that chat might hear him in another room, lmao, he's trying to not interrupt you

-,, YES DEAR KICK THEIR ASS,, type of man when you're playing against somone

- Sometimes just likes to watch you talk and play, focused on the screen : )

- Asks a lot of question when you're introducing him to a new game but respectfully listens. Pls be patient

- GOD may protect you if you're playing with him and Papyrus they're just arguing like the siblings they are 24/7 skworootpy

- Papyrus will try to fuck him over for funnsies which will cause a circle

- Speaking of, yeah this man's a gremlin, he will tease you so hard sometimes.

- Either playing or in real life, can't escape.

- Imagine talking and Bonestrule on kazoo plays in the backround, which stops everytime you stop

- *Sans comes in the room *

,, What are you wearing,,

* Sans wearing a shirt with an arrow that says goofy or cheesy shit like "I'm with my datemate" *

,, A shirt ✨,,

- Supportive boyfriend all the way

- You need words of encouragement after losing or not knowing how to solve something? WEWOWEWO SUPPORT AMBULANCE

- Will massage your shoulders when you're tense, doesn't care if you're steaming or not

- also yes he does introduce himself as magnificent Sans, but he also always calls you words like : gorgeous, amazing, magnificent, great etc. before speaking your name

- If there's a rude person on your chat he'd immediately spot them and scold them like a parent. But if they're still a meanie he's not so nice -

- He does swear, but doesn't like to very much. But definitely made family friendly curses on your stream to frustrate the audience lmao.

- Isn't afraid to do goffy shit on your stream unlike others. Like dress up for hallowen, do each other make up (Yes on him too), do Q&A etc.

- If you don't want him to be a part of your streams he understands that and tries to do something useful or have a hobby while to stream

- Imagine hearing fuck in the backround that's muffled because he's in another room playing jenga lmao

- Supports you, and if you have merch, wears it like he used with his armor back in the underground, he's damn proud of you

- Isn't afraid to recommend you to somone even if that gets you flustered, but if it makes you upset he'd stop

- Ah forgot to say,yeah this man definitely had his rage gaming moments but only of its really frustrating, he ain't a hot head

- Maybe off topic but don't let him drink a Monster, he'd vibrate like crazy

- Speaking of Monster. He'd want you to eat healthy!! So no crazy amount of MountainDew or Doritos. (ik stereotypical but you got the idea) Except some fruits or/and vegetables in a bowl and some water brought by him.

- Oh you're hungry but you still have an hour left to stream and don't want to leave because you have to do something? Don't worry baby here have a sandwich!

- Again, I'm gonna say it. Cares for your health and wants your eyes to be well. So he'd be asking you to stop the stream respectfully to get some rest after too much hours or playing

Now to inviting him to play a horror game with you

- Always happy to play with you! So there wasn't a problem inviting him. No matter the game, he's happy

- Respectfully listens but he does gets lost there and there which you can see and you have to explain to him again. Have time for him pls.

- He definitely says he will protect you even tho you might be more experienced lmao

- You two definitely teased and pranked each other before , but still, he's oblivious

- Perfect

- Accidently dropped a few things off the desk /his controllers (depends if that VR or not) out of surprise. He's likes horror but he's new to the game ok, he's jumpy.

- Definitely jumped when, you, invisibles cuz you're dead, threw something in his face

- I dare you to, make the bone joke with the bone. He'd be disappointed, but will still smile, he hates that he does, but you know.

- Decided to ignore the chat for the rest of the game because it kept milking the joke

- You faked a hunt and almost made him jump out of his skiii...cloo-. Fuck it you just scared him so bad that he felt his soul jump.

- He may be a little jumpy but he's not a pussy, plus he's GREAT at figuring out what ghost type is it.

- You heard me this man WILL be in a dark room alone to get the ghost to talk

You using voice edit or something idk : B҉e҉h҉i҉n҉d҉ y҉o҉u҉

Sans turning around in the room alone thinking the hunt activated: ASGORE- oh stars, dammit (Y/N), stop it! I'm trying to catch the gho-

The ghost : ADULT

Sans : *girl scream*IT SPOKE. SPIRIT BOX IT IS

- Even if you two had teasing moments where one died here and there he stil enjoyed playing with you

- Wouldn't mind playing with you again

- Will do extra research for the next game to catch ghost better and how to fuck with you

- One time Papyrus called him during the stream and he didn't realised there's a hunt which killed him

- Papyrus fucking knew, and Sans knew he knew, and Sans was angry kworog0t

- Ngl I see Sans being a Phasmophobia fan. So except him to be invested in the game more afterwards I guess

- He calls himself a great investigator and you the greatest (but sometimes starts to consider if you're a ghost too that's likes to fuck with him)

Author note : I'm sorry this took too long, school, dissociation, plus I never wrote for US and UF before so I DIDN'T KNOW where to go.

Don't worry im still planing to write more, one person requested something else and I gonna try to write it.

[scalproie]

for the love of god. kuai liang for the ask meme

GIRL. KUAI LIANG .

favorite thing about them:

First off, purely from the concept of his character, I love how he legit started as "ok I know we technically killed Sub-Zero in the lore of our first game but we are NOT cutting him out of the second game, so. The Sub-Zero from mk2 is... idk his brother or smth" and then that little brother made his way, became THE Sub-Zero, and just developed as a character and its just. special to me in some way. Also he is the Epitome of "Nice is not Soft". I think he is one of the most, if not the most noble of the morally grey mk characters. His signature move is literally ripping out your spine (which is TOTALLY unrelated to his cryomancy) and just like every other mk character, he is capable of incredible violence, but he just has this... gentleness about him, when you just look at him, and how he acts. He has such a calm and collected demeanor but he is also very very much driven by emotion, and mk canon comes and go, but despite the MANY, MANY personal hardships he endured from the tender age of super young to over fifty, he still maintained a strong sense of self, and equally as strong morals. ... Call me whatever but I think he perfectly embodies ice, in a way. It can be solid, sharp, and its known to be deadly, but its not indestructible, it can break or melt, and sometimes its so intense in what it is, its so cold that it feels like it does the opposite of what ice does: it burns you. I am not making sense with this he just fucking fried my brain. Also hes blue, hes pretty, hes a little meow meow, his ice powers are cool, his hands movements are captivating, his entire deal and aesthetic speak to me on a spiritual level, and his tits are downright stunning.

least favorite thing about them:

As usual with this section its not his fault IN the narrative but

1) why is the ONLY interaction between Kuai and Bi-han (AS Bi-han, not Noob) is a single panel from a comic from the 90s, of which im unsure about its actual canon state.

2) This is gonna sound SO biased but idc. See mk is the kind of game where there is NO clear protagonist. Which mean each character has to fight for a bit of the spolight. And I KNOW hes an extremely popular character, I KNOW hes legit one of the mascot. BUT... they dont focus on Kuai Liang enough, his story is always cut short to give time for other characters or other stuff going on and I KNOOOW THATS HOW IT WORKS. ITS FIGHTING GAMES STORYTELLING. THIS IS LITERALLY ON ME BUT STILL!!! HE IS SUCH A FASCINATING CHARACTER I WANT TO SEE MORE OF HIM. I WANT TO SEE QUIET MOMENTS WITH HIM, I WANT A WINDOW INSIDE HIS MIND, I WANT TO SEE HIS RELATIONSHIPS DEVELOP IN A SATISFYING WAY, I WANT THE CATHARSIS OF SEEING SOMETHING HAPPEN AND HIM HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT IT. DAMMIT!!!

favorite line:

curse my predictability but its the "He was my equal." line

25 years of in-game years and of actual irl years of context to make this as effective to me as it is.

brOTP:

with canon bestie Tomas "Smoke" Vrbada! The support he shows Kuai is honestly heartwarming like. It wasnt all bad back then. Also Johnny because I love the contrast of the game where Johnny was like "Heyyy Blueberry wanna help me put together an ellaborate training exercice for my four children? You'll have to act." And Subz was like "Yes ofc I love training exercices I love teaching I'll be a better actor than you." is the same game where Johnny punched Subz in the dick. I know deep in my heart that The Blue Babes💙 aka Subz & Kitana would be "self recognition thru the other (derogatory)" to besties if they just allowed them to be.

OTP:

oh yknow... 💛🦂💛

nOTP:

everything else because nothing comes close to the quality of that particular dynamic imo. Plus im not a multishipper. Once ive seen the appeal of a dynamic I cannot seriously consider anything else even when I can kinda see where other people are coming from. Also, with women.

random headcanon:

Im gonna say it once again. Genuinely. Take shipping out of the equation. Just take him as he is as a character. That Is A Gay Man. Theres too much piling up for me to read him as anything else. Also when hes deeply upset he generates a small blizzard around himself, and he meditates bare-ass in the snow sometimes.

unpopular opinion:

BRATTY KUAI FROM BOTR YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO MEEE

song i associate with them:

"My Brother Taught Me How To Swim" by Passion Pit is my definitive Sub Zero song, "Fresh Static Snow" by Porter Robinson for Cyber Subz feels, "Cold Cold Man" by Saint Motel, "Borealis" by Madeon, "Unbound" by Ásgeir, "Hustler" by Josef Salvat (Wade rec.). Im not gonna put subscorp songs here otherwise we would have to double that list. But shout out to "Hot Tea" by half•alive and "Know You Better" by LEISURE

favorite picture of them:

🥺THE GORGEOUS EYES🥺

🥺OF A BAÏKAL SEAL🥺

[gekkoinapeartree]

Ok!! Soooo

Mental Health post!

And Call for Submissions: letters, short stories, art, comics welcome. Memes aren’t really the vibe here but if it works with what we’re talking about sure why not. Read on to learn more!

So I’ve been going to therapy. I mean I’ve tried a million times before but now I’m doing it and staying with it because my therapist is amazing.

Anyways-

One of the things I’ve discovered about myself is I apparently am really into compartmentalizing myself into good Kristi and bad terrible Kristi. But they are the same person and the divide is pretty strong. And I have to figure out how to see myself as one person.

So in attempts to start repairing that divide I started thinking about people I’ve hurt and events in my life that hurt me and I reacted poorly to. Of course what do I do to process my thoughts? I write. ( or art)

I want to make amends for the things I have done- but at some point bringing up shit that was terrible in your past ( whether you caused it or someone else did) could bring others into a bad place by having to think about it again. So I’m just going to make a zine about it.

I’m going to write letters to those I’ve hurt, about things I’ve done and things I wish were different ( or are different now that I’m older). And also things that I still think about or am pissed about even if they are terrible, because I’m both terrible and good at the same time.

So are most people.

We aren’t solid, we are gradients and the world isn’t black and white- it’s all shades of grey.

And I invite you to join me.

I figure lots of ppl have things they’d like to say to other folks in their lives, people who have passed on or themselves. ( maybe even future them? Future kids? Future anything?)

Basically anything goes but the theme is both/and/ or regret and things left unsaid.

Most likely it will end up being a digital download, but it would have the potential to be a physical thing (I’d rather it be a thing in life tbh) but it depends on how this goes and if there’s enough people to make it a thing.

So send me an ask with your name ( doesn’t have to be a real name) and email or some way of contacting you if you are interested in this project. You don’t have to give context of your actual life or the event/ person you are writing about.

Any personal details you don’t want to share can be omitted- your health and safety are most important/ this is just meant to be a collection of regret to show that a- ppl make mistakes and can have multitudes of feelings about them.

You also do not have to feel the need to make your thing be repentant or a thing to make amends at all- this is about getting out your feelings and allowing yourself to say all the things you need to say.

About accepting the fact that we all are both the good parts and the bad parts of ourselves. ( I mean it’s not just me who is both terrible and nice right? … Right?!)

Also let me know a bit about what you might write about ( obviously it’ll change because that’s just how brains work with difficult topics) and any trigger warnings that it might need.

I’m still kind of developing the idea so I don’t have deadlines figured out yet or anything just want to get an idea of how many ppl would be willing to participate.

I will say it is NSFW because my own stuff would have things to do with that. But it won’t be 18+ because not everyone is 18 when sexual experience start to occur. ( I know I sure as hell wasn’t)

If that bothers you let me know and maybe if it’s possible there might be the ability to do a separate one that’s SFW - goodness knows I have enough content to fill both of those.

It’d be just less sad and pathetic to my mean mind if other people join in on the drama.

Thanks for listening! And thanks for joining if you decide - maybe pass it on? I feel like I might not be the only one who could benefit from something like this.

Xxx hope this takes off.

Hearts and hugs and rainbows to you all

Kristi/Gekko/Lizard_fruit

[teacupfulofstarshine]

you're the pink in my cheeks (i'm a little bit soft)

summary: "and i know we'll never grow old together / cause you'll never grow old to me / you're the pink in my cheeks / and i love that it means i'm a little bit soft / you're the pink in my cheeks / and i love that it means i'm a little bit soft"

- "monster," marceline (adventure time)

(OR: 5.4k of soft domestic lesbian!analogical, featuring lesbian!moceit, trans male!remus, trans female!roman, and Gay Shenanigans)

a/n: huge thank you to dandie for beta'ing this fic!

i just wanted to write wlw is that so wrong of me? no. no it is not.

CW: alcohol mentions, a few sex jokes, swearing, one implied instance of potential sexual activity (although it doesn't go any farther than making out; if you want to skip that part, skip the section that starts with "Did you get the right kind of popcorn?")

word count: ~5.4k

read it on ao3!!

“I think I may be going insane,” Logan says, squinting at her laptop screen. Virginia, hanging upside-down in the armchair, looks up from her phone and blinks.

“And why is that?”

“Because I am starting to agree with Rosie’s anti-Florida agenda.”

“I didn’t realize that there was an anti-Florida agenda.”

“Rosie has one, and I have always thought it facetious. However, if this laboratory does not start sending me my requested samples and information in a timely manner, I will be forced to concede that Rosie may have . . . a point.”

“You, agreeing with a lit major? I never thought I’d see the day,” Virginia teases. Logan initially resists the urge to stick her tongue out or flip Virginia off, because that would be childish, but then she remembers that Virginia does not care about her childishness, so she sticks her tongue out. Virginia snorts with laughter, and Logan feels warm, fizzy pop-rocks bursting in her chest.

Her phone buzzes next to her, and she picks it up. There’s a new message blinking for her attention on the screen.

[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

a, b, or c

[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

. . . What?

[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

*rolls eyes*

[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

i need you to make a selection, logan. a, b, or c.

[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

I am confused. What am I selecting between?

[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy

[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

Yes. I would like to know. That is why I asked you.

[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

Also, I am not a meteorologist. Or a boy.

[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

it’s a meme, i’m sure v will be happy to show you the og. but first: make a choice

[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

Option B, I suppose?

[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

vodka it is!

[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]

Wait, what?

Her phone buzzes again, another text thread lighting up, and Logan abandons the now-fruitless conversation with Jan to see that her wife has texted.

[from: soda poppy]

y is jan fillin a thermos with vodka and sayin u gave her the go ahead? >:(

[to: soda poppy]

I am unsure. She texted me asking me to make a choice between “a, b, and c” with no context given. When I eventually selected “b,” she excitedly mentioned vodka and logged off.

[from: soda poppy]

her an remy r going 2 a pta meeting tonight an i guess they’re goin drunk

[to: soda poppy]

Is that a . . . normal occurrence?

[from: soda poppy]

sadly yeah

[to: soda poppy]

Wait, is she even allowed to attend PTA meetings? You two don’t have any children?

[from: soda poppy]

she’s on the school board so she has the right 2 attend. idk if she’s supposed to or not but its never stopped her b4

“Everythin’ good over there?” Virginia asks.

“I believe I may have just enabled Jan to attend a PTA meeting drunk.” Virginia snorts, swiping at her phone.

“Good for her, honestly. The only reason she and Poppy live in that neighborhood is so that Jan can flaunt her wife in front of all the capital-s Straight people, because she’s a petty fuckin’ bitch.”

“That is a strange word choice for your best friend.”

“I hate Jan, she’s a bitch,” Virginia says, smirking fondly at her phone. Logan knows her girlfriend well enough to know that this statement is disingenuous, so she stands up, stretching her arms above her head, and leans down to drop a kiss onto Virginia’s forehead.

*~*~*~*~*

Logan blinks awake slowly, feeling for the position of her limbs. She’s on her left side, left arm tucked up under her pillow to cradle her head, wrapped in the thick comforter of their bed. Her right arm is slung across Virginia’s body, and her girlfriend is pressed up against her, head tucked right under Logan’s chin and face nestled into her neck and chest. Virginia breathes, slow and deep and even, and Logan hums, huffing out a soft exhale.

She carefully wiggles out of bed, tucking the comforter around Virginia’s curled-up form. Virginia grumbles when the cool morning air slips against her skin, because she is a foolish woman who insists upon sleeping in short shorts and a spaghetti-strap tank top no matter the current weather patterns. Logan wraps her up, making sure that she’s shifted into the middle of the warm divot of body heat, and Virginia settles in, asleep again in a heartbeat.

Logan turns to the corner chair, where her early-morning outfit is already laid out: athletic leggings, a sports bra, a moisture-wicking quarter zip jacket. She changes quietly, lights off, and tugs on a pair of ankle socks before slinking into the bathroom. Once the door is shut, she flicks on the soft lights over the vanity and carefully undoes her sleep braid. Normally, Virginia does Logan’s hair, because Logan is not good at dealing with her wavy, tangled, curly mess, but she won’t wake up her girlfriend for that. She can, at bare minimum, pull her hair up into a high ponytail for running purposes.

They live in a small town only a short walk (and even shorter bike ride) from the beach, full of little two-story brightly-colored beach cottages. Logan steps off her front porch, pulls out her phone, and quickly shoots a text.

[to: ginny <3]

I am headed to the beach for my weekly run. I will likely return before you wake up, but in case I do not: I will be back before 9 AM.

[to: ginny <3]

I love you <3

Logan kicks up the kickstand on her bike, runs her fingers over the glossy dark-blue paint flecked with white and silver and gold to mimic stars, and swings one leg over the bike seat. She carefully pedals out into the narrow road and heads for the beach. The cool early-morning air whips past her face, and she chances a glance up at the dark-blue-turning-light-blue-grey sky and smiles.

She’s always been an early-morning morning person, anyway.

*~*~*~*~*

Logan’s sneakers dig into the hard-packed wet sand along the water’s edge as she runs. Seagulls scatter in front of her, and the podcast Virginia recommended hums in her ear. The sun creeps up, up, up onto the horizon, coloring the blue-grey into streaks of brilliant pink and orange and gold, light reflecting off the water in resplendent diamond sparkles.

Logan runs half a mile down the beach, turns around, runs back to where she started and then runs half a mile in the other direction before turning around and running back to her starting point. By the time she’s bent over, hands on her knees, huffing out breath while her legs burn pleasantly, the sun has emerged fully from the ocean, and Logan is beginning to wish she had worn a visor.

She takes a moment to appreciate the sensory experiences of being on a nearly-abandoned beach: the scent of salt water, the sound of waves crashing against sand, the errant cries of gulls squabbling over fish. Their little beach is not nearly pristine enough for a tourist attraction, and too far north along the Atlantic coast to be warm year-round. Still, Logan loves it, and cannot imagine living anywhere else.

She hunts along the water’s edge as she walks, briefly, a cool-down before the bike ride home. She finds a few things worth photographing, a few crabs to shoo back into the ocean, and a few things worth gathering: an intact clam shell whose smooth curve runs unbroken from the heel of her palm to the tip of her index finger when she lays it flat in her hand, a light gray rock worn smooth by the waves that turns dark-gray-almost-black when wet, a small spiral shell that she thinks may have broken off of the top of a snail shell. Logan wraps all three things carefully in a small handkerchief from the little bag she keeps in her bike basket, pulling out her phone to note the time (8:37 AM) and the message notification flashing at her.

[from: ginny<3]

dunno why you insist on being a morning person. stop by the dunkin on your way back and get us breakfast?

[to: ginny<3]

You had Dunkin for breakfast three times this week. You should consume something healthy.

[from: ginny <3]

>:( >:( >:( >:(

[from: ginny <3]

counterpoint: you bringing me dunkin is better than me not eating breakfast at all. which is the alternative because i do not want to get up and prepare anything

[to: ginny <3]

Your womanly wiles will not work on me in regards to Dunkin breakfast.

[from: ginny <3]

bitch (affectionate)

[to: ginny <3]

Would you like me to make you breakfast on my return, beloved?

[from: ginny <3]

. . .

[from: ginny <3]

will you make me an omelette? with all the cheesy goo an shit?

[to: ginny <3]

I will make you an omelette with some degree of “cheese goo.”

Logan slides her phone into her pocket, huffing out a laugh at her girlfriend’s behavior, and hops onto her bike again.

*~*~*~*~*

“Your omelettes are always so much better than mine,” Virginia says, moaning as she sinks her teeth into an enormous bite of egg and cheese. Logan, calmly dicing bell peppers to mix into her own omelette, smiles.

“All food tastes better when it is prepared by someone who is not you.”

“You’ve clearly never had anything the twins have cooked.” Virginia takes another bite, pops a multivitamin into her mouth, and chases it down with a gulp of milk. “Besides, it tastes better because you made it.”

“I am not the most accomplished chef in the world, certainly, but I am glad you enjoy my cooking.”

Virginia laughs softly. “Lo, I like your food because it’s prepared by someone who loves me. I can taste the love in everything you make for me.”

Logan turns back to her peppers to hide her blush. “Love is not a measurable ingredient when cooking.” Virginia laughs again, louder this time; when Logan sets the knife down, she hears Virginia’s chair scrape out behind her as she stands, feels her arms wrap around her waist, feels the cool skin of her face press into her neck.

“Love you.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Stressful day at work?” Logan asks, hearing the door slam.

Virginia kicks off her flats, sending them flying into the wall with a clatter. Logan sets down her crochet project and moves toward the entrance of their house, where Virginia is shrugging off her rainjacket to reveal a mint-green Peter Pan-collared blouse and dark gray dress pants. “The stressiest.”

Logan takes the jacket and shakes it out on the tiled entranceway before hanging it on the hook. “I am sorry, beloved.”

“Lots of assessments, lots of parents who don’t understand why I’m assessing their kid, lots of parents insisting that there’s nothing wrong with their kid, or that there’s no way their kid could possibly have the deficits that I’m seeing. Like, I wouldn’t make this shit up, you know? Literally, let me help your child. You came to me, remember? I’m not in the habit of imposing myself onto people.”

“That sounds very stressful,” Logan says. She tries to picture a life where she spends all her time interacting with people she doesn’t know on a regular basis instead of her little corner of the university biochemistry lab where she only has to interact with three or four known people and her immediate supervisor, mostly by email. It sends icy fingers skittering down her spine.

“It is, I hate it. I mean, Kitty’s my supervisor until I get my C’s, so if I have problems I can consult with her, but like . . . why are people the way that they are.”

Logan stretches up and presses a gentle kiss to Virginia’s cheek. “I love you, Ginny.”

Virginia exhales and folds herself around Logan, draping her body over her girlfriend and going limp and boneless. “I don’t wanna be a real person for the rest of the night.”

“That can be arranged.”

“But it’s my night to make dinner.”

“I do not mind switching and having you make dinner tomorrow,” Logan says. “This is an acceptable deviation from the routine.” Virginia pushes her face into Logan’s neck, and Logan nuzzles the side of her head, and she sighs like the entire world has lifted off her chest.

*~*~*~*~*

(This is how it starts:

Logan, taking a class on British literature in her sophomore year because she needs to meet her core requirements. Logan, meeting Rosie, disagreeing with her on almost every single point she raises in class, hating when they’re paired up for their midterm project but earning the best grade in the class overall. Logan, seeing a text from Rosie about how her housemate needs people to participate in a research study for extra credit. Logan, making the long trek down to the health sciences building and seeing Virginia for the first time, thinking that she’s pretty and not knowing that she’ll be thinking that for the rest of her life.)

*~*~*~*~*

“Hello, gorgeous,” Virginia hums.

“Are you talking to me or to the mint plant?” Logan says, aggressively stabbing her pointer finger against the Delete key. It clacks loudly, and she mutters an insult under her breath. “I am going to set myself on fire. I swear to god, I am.”

“Obviously the mint plant,” Virginia says, turning and dropping a kiss on Logan’s head. “You okay, honey?” Logan grumbles more and shoves the laptop away from her with a disgruntled noise. Virginia moves the laptop away and leans over to kiss her forehead.

“I am trying to politely word an email whose essence boils down to, ‘If you do not send me my fucking samples in a timely manner, I am going to be forced to commit an Atrocity the likes of which this earth has never seen’,” Logan says.

Virginia laughs so hard that she sits down on the tiled kitchen floor, wiping tears from her eyes. “You are so funny,” she wheezes. Logan feels her irritation fade a little under the brightness of her girlfriend’s joy. “Let me see the email, I’m good at professional bullshitting.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Braid my hair!” Rosie says, throwing herself down onto the couch. Logan lifts her laptop up just in time to keep Rosie’s head from slamming into the keyboard.

“Ginny is your best bet for braids, Rosie. I have limited experience.”

“It doesn’t have to be fancy, It just has to be off my neck.”

Logan saves her document and sets her laptop on the coffee table, poking at Rosie’s ribs until she slides onto the floor and settles cross-legged between Logan’s thighs. “A comb and some hair-ties would be appreciated.”

“REMUS!” Rosie shouts.

“WHAT?”

“BRING ME A BRUSH AND SOME HAIR BANDS!”

“GET YOUR OWN!”

“I’m going to kill that man,” Rosie mutters, rolling to her feet. There are suspicious muffled thumping noises from the other room for a few minutes before Rosie emerges, victorious, hair somehow even messier than it was in the first place.

“You are the single loudest person I have ever met,” Logan sighs, taking the comb and the hair ties and beginning to drag it through Rosie’s curls. Rosie winces, just a little, at the pull of the comb, and Logan tries to be more gentle.

“Thank you!”

“I did not say that was a compliment.

“Hey!”

*~*~*~*~*

Logan tugs her sweatshirt sleeves down from where she’d rolled them up previously, shivering a little. Part of her wishes that she had worn leggings instead of capris as she drags the folding chair a little closer to the bonfire, toes dragging through the still-sun-warmed sand. The speaker set up on the food table blasts some sort of current pop music, and Rosie and Poppy dance around each other, chanting the lyrics at each other. They are both very loud and very off-key and, Logan suspects, fairly drunk as well. Remus is in the ocean (definitely buzzed, potentially naked) and Jan is standing at the edge of the ocean, watching to make sure he stays alive.

“Hey,” someone says, low and rumbling in her ear. Logan does not flinch (just barely) and turns to see Virginia, holding a plastic cup with a poorly-drawn sketch of the state of Virginia on it. Her hair is starting to come loose from its messy bun, and her sweater sleeves keep sliding down over her wrists and nearly dunking into her drink, and her breath smells sweet and alcoholic. When she lifts her hand to Logan’s cheek, her fingers are cool, and Logan shivers.

“How’s my girl?” Virginia asks.

“Cold,” Logan answers honestly. Virginia laughs, tipping her head back and exposing the long strip of her neck. Logan wants to lick it.

“You’re adorable,” Virginia says, leaning in and pressing her mouth against Logan’s ear. Her breath is warm and slightly damp. “So pretty, my Logan, and so smart. I bet you know exactly what chemical compounds are making the flames turn that color, hmmm?”

Logan can feel her face burning hotter than the bonfire, but Virginia just sits languidly in her lap, feet propped up on the armrest. Her toes are painted pale purple, and the glitter sparkles in the firelight.

“How many drinks have you had?” Logan asks.

“Enough to feel all tingly,” Virginia says, swirling whatever’s in her cup. “How many have you had?”

“None,” Logan answers honestly. Virginia leans her head against Logan’s shoulder, and her wispy frizz tickled Logan’s nose. She sneezes, and Virginia giggles in the high-pitched, superficial way she only giggles when she gets really, really drunk.

“You sound so cute when you sneeze.”

“I do not.”

“Of course you do,” and now Virginia is looking at her, eyes glowing warm in the firelight. “You sound cute when you do anything. You’re cute when you exist. You’re cute no matter what. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

Logan hates the taste of alcohol, but she leans in and kisses Virginia anyway.

*~*~*~*~*

“Lo.”

“Hmmm?”

“Pick a color.”

“What?”

“I’m painting my toes again. Pick a color for me.”

Logan flops over onto her stomach, staring at the neat row of creme polishes sitting on their ottoman. Virginia’s bare feet are propped up in front of them, spread apart awkwardly with neon lemon gel toe spreaders, and she studies the nail polish like she’s trying to determine which vial isn’t poisoned.

“I like that one,” she says finally, pointing to a pale pink polish the color of the flowers Virginia brought her on their first date. Virginia hums, picking the bottle up and tilting it critically in the light.

“Not the one I would have picked, but I said you could pick, so I guess we’re doing it.”

Virginia tosses some bottles of toppers (or “tacos” as she calls them, slang from one of the YouTubers she likes) onto the bed while she paints her toes, and Logan sifts through them to settle on a blue-yellow iridescent one.

“I do not know how you can get behind wearing something called a Unicorn Skin,” Logan says. Virginia just shrugs and plucks the bottle from her hand. Their fingers overlap - Logan’s warm from where they’ve been tucked under her body, Virginia’s cool from where they’ve been gripping the glass bottle. Impulsively, Logan lifts Virginia’s fingers and kisses the tips.

“You’re going to smear the polish,” Virginia mutters, even though she painted her fingers earlier today and they’ve been dry for a while. She doesn’t bother to yank her fingers away, either, so Logan kisses them again.

*~*~*~*~*

“Logan!”

Logan is fully aware that the only thing keeping Poppy from crashing into her like a floral-sundress-covered cannonball is the casserole dish in her hands. She counts her blessings and steps aside to let Poppy in.

“Where’s Jan?”

“Getting something from the car! It’s my turn to drive us home, so she brought something to drink.”

Jan primly kicks the passenger side door shut with her heeled ankle boots, a bottle of wine grasped by the neck in each hand.

“I hope you do not intend to drink both of those in their entirety tonight,” Logan says. Jan rolls her eyes and offers one of the bottles to her.

“This one is a gift for you and Ginia. The other one is for me.”

“None for Poppy?”

“Poppy is the designated driver, so she will not be drinking. And I know she already told you that.” Logan rolls her eyes, and Jan flips her off. “Are you going to invite me in or not?”

“What are you, a vampire?” Virginia shouts from the kitchen.

“Only one of us dresses like the undead, darling, and it isn’t me,” Jan calls back, stepping into the house. “Are the twins here yet?”

“They cannot attend. Remus has orchestra practice and Rosie is teaching a dance class. You already knew both of these facts, because you are in the group text.”

“I am not.”

“You responded to a message in the group thread fifteen minutes ago.”

“That was the NSA agent assigned to monitor me.”

“You are a liar.”

“What else is new?”

*~*~*~*~*

groupchat name: be gay do crime

soda poppy: hey every1! DONUT 4get to make ur bakesale goodies and drop them off at r house by 7 am on fri!

lo tide: Please use normal words. I am begging you.

snesbian (snake lesbian): then beg.

lo tide: I do not recall asking for your opinion.

snesbian (snake lesbian): and yet i give it to you anyway. am i not generous

virgin: if you don’t stop making fun of my gf i swear to god

virgin: also remus if you don’t stop changing my name i’m gonna end you

virgin has changed their name to gin(ny) and tonic!

gin(ny) and tonic: much better anyway

violets are blue rosie is me: i believe you meant anygay

gin(ny) and tonic: i said what i fucking said

ace attorney irl: you changed your name :(

gin(ny) and tonic: every day the Lord regrets giving all of us mod powers in this chat

snesbian (snake lesbian): i have no such regrets

lo tide: Can we circle back to the bake sale, please?

soda poppy: Whatchu wanna kno???

lo tide: I assume it is school related?

soda poppy: yep!

soda poppy: fundraising 4 this year’s art club field trip! since im the faculty advisor im in charge of approving and setting up 4 the fundraisers

lo tide: I see. And why, exactly, is it our responsibility to make things for this fundraiser? Should it not be the students’ responsibility?

soda poppy: they r makin stuff 4 it but also i gotta make sure some of the stuff will b edible yknow

lo tide: I see.

gin(ny) and tonic: listen i know that jan is like. a professional pastry chef an shit. but i’m not making anything fancy like a cheesecake or smthn

gin(ny) and tonic: i’m making like. fuckin brownies

snesbian (snake lesbian): smh don’t you care about the Children at all?

gin(ny) and tonic: no. they’re not my kids

ace attorney irl: i will make cookies

soda poppy: u cannot make them inappropriate shapes

ace attorney irl: :(

violets are blue rosie is me: do not worry, i will make sure they are an appropriate shape

violets are blue rosie is me: i’ll make cupcakes!

lo tide: I believe I have a recipe for lemon squares that I can make. Will lemon squares be sufficient?

soda poppy: yeah! just keep ur stuff free of common allergens like tree nuts

gin(ny) and tonic: so my plan to just yeet you a bag of reese’s peanut butter cups and call it a contribution is out then

*~*~*~*~*

Virginia throws a box of brownie mix into the cart and dusts her hands off. “There. Done.”

Logan raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t give me that look, we have the rest of the ingredients at home. We have tap water, we have oil, we have eggs, we don’t need anything else. What do we need for your lemon thingies?”

“Lemons, presumably.”

“You’re a comedian,” Logan deadpans. Virginia flips her off, and then leans in to kiss her cheek. “I do need lemons, though. Lemons, more eggs . . . I have a list in my phone.”

“What phone?” Virginia says, dangling Logan’s galaxy-patterned case above her head. “I think you’re too short for this, Lo.”

“Give me my phone,” Logan says, rolling her eyes. Virginia wiggles it above her head, laughing.

“Maybe you should give me something in return.”

“Like what?”

Virginia grins. “Like a kiss, perhaps?”

Logan rolls her eyes again, but she leans in and kisses Virginia gently, swiping her phone back when Virginia lowers her hand to cup her face. “Thank you for paying the toll, sweetheart.”

“You are ridiculous,” Logan says. It doesn’t stop her from gently kissing Virginia’s cheek before pushing the cart down the aisle again.

*~*~*~*~*

groupchat name: be gay do crime

lo tide: What time did you want us to drop off the baked goods, Poppy?

soda poppy: if ur gonna b in the area, u can just drop them off at my house!

ace attorney irl: i made some of the shapes inappropriate but those ones r 4 u and jan

soda poppy: what did u make 4 the bake sale?

ace attorney irl: . . .

soda poppy: what did u make 4 the children, remus.

ace attorney irl: nothin’ too crazy! jan had some normal summer shapes - suns, flip flops, etc. etc. used those

soda poppy: :D thx remus!

ace attorney irl: made some fishies too! but the octopi are just for u an jan.

ace attorney irl: i . . . may have painted dicks on them

soda poppy: well at least u warned me right

*~*~*~*~*

“Did you get the right kind of popcorn?” Logan asks.

“If by ‘the right kind’ you mean ‘your favorite kind,’ then yes, I did,” Virginia says, coming into the living room with a large yellow bowl full of fluffy popcorn. “What are we watching tonight? It’s your turn to pick, isn’t it?”

“Gay fish,” Logan says.

Virginia sets the popcorn on the coffee table and blinks at her. “That is . . . quite the description of Finding Nemo, sweetheart.”

“Not Finding Nemo, Ginny. Luca. It’s new, and it’s not explicitly gay, but there is a very obvious queer reading. I thought we could watch it together.”

“Anything with you sounds wonderful.”

“Sap,” Logan mutters. She leans in to kiss Virginia’s cheek, but Virginia turns at the last moment and presses their lips together.

“Are you sure you want to watch a movie?” she says. “We could just make out instead, if you want.” She pushes gently on Logan’s stomach, guiding her to lay on her back on the couch. Virginia lays on top of her, gently sliding a hand to rest warm and heavy on her stomach. She leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Logan’s neck, and then her jaw, and then rubbing their noses together.

“Tonight is movie night,” Logan says. Virginia presses their mouths together, and Logan hums, gently pressing up into the kiss. “We should be watching a movie.”

“Are you sure?” Virginia says. “I think we should pursue this avenue a little further.”

Logan squirms a little. “I - I would not - um - no, thank you.”

Virginia’s eyes, which were hazing over with something, clear as she blinks. “Okay, sweetheart.” She leans back, sits up, pulls Logan into a sitting position. “Are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” she says. “I just - I am not in the mood for that tonight. If that is okay.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Virginia says. She holds out a hand, and Logan takes it. Virginia kisses the back of it before settling herself on the couch. “I am so proud of you for expressing a boundary and telling me you were uncomfortable. I know that expressing boundaries is something that we’re both working on, and you did a wonderful job. Tell me what you want, Lo. Please?”

“I would like a kiss,” Logan says. “Just one. And then I would like to cuddle, and - and I would like us to watch Luca together. Is that acceptable?”

Virgil nods. “Of course, love. Come here, hmmm?” Logan settles next to her, and Virginia gently cups her cheek and presses their mouths together. “I love you, Logan. So much. Of course we can watch Luca now.”

Virginia lays an arm along the top of the couch, allowing Logan to cuddle up against her and rest her head on her chest. “I love you,” Logan says softly.

“I love you too, sweetpea.”

*~*~*~*~*

Logan rolls over, yawning, and feels a small weight displace itself from her thighs. She blinks awake slowly, lifting her head and pushing her curtain of curls aside to reveal a black cat mewing at her grumpily before settling into a sushi roll beside her.

“Did I wake you? I am sorry, Galileo . . .”

Galileo settles against her, purring softly, while the ash-grey cat at the foot of the bed pads slowly up to curl on Virginia’s back. “That’s your favorite spot, isn’t it, Andromeda?” The cat emits a soft “mrrrp” before settling back down to sleep. Logan yawns, smiles, and gently strokes her hears. “What should we do, girls? Shall we stay awake and be productive members of society?”

Neither cat responds, and Logan looks at Virginia. She’s haloed in the morning light, eyes tightly shut, mouth hanging open, drool leaking into a puddle on the pillow. She snores a little - one, two, three snorts before settling back into a deep sleep.

“No,” Logan decides, “we shall not.” She lays back down, gently nudging Galileo a few inches over so that she can snuggle up to Virginia. Galileo stretches out, pressing a paw directly into Logan’s cheek. Logan shoves her, and she resettles onto Logan’s feet with an indignant noise.

“You can sleep by my face when you do not kick my face,” Logan mutters, curling into her love.

*~*~*~*~*

groupchat name: be gay do crime

soda poppy: r u all comin 2 the bake sale 2morrow?!

lo tide: I was under the impression that we were only providing the baked goods. Is it not for the students at the school?

soda poppy: we got waaaayyyy more stuff than we thought so we r havin a 2nd bakesale 2morrow 4 parents an stuff!

soda poppy: we r gonna need sum help with setup though . . .

lo tide: Poppy, please do not even -

soda poppy: 🥺🥺🥺 p l e a s e

lo tide: Poppy.

snesbian (snake lesbian): logan

lo tide: If I agree to stop and pick up coffee for everyone, will that motivate you all to turn out?

violets are blue rosie is me: i’m always a slut for free coffee

lo tide: I’m sorry, where did I say that this would be free?

violets are blue rosie is me: D:<

ace attorney irl: eh i’m down for it. where you swingin’ by?

soda poppy: there’s a panera p close 2 where the bake sale is!!! it’s gonna b at the morning girl’s basketball game

lo tide: Does anyone have any issues with Panera coffee?

violets are blue rosie is me: nah. large iced coffee, add three ounces of half and half, two pumps of sugar syrup, two pumps of vanilla, and caramel drizzle.

ace attorney irl: complicated bitch much?

violets are blue rosie is me: why must the cain instinct betray me like this

ace attorney irl: the cain instinct started when we stole each other’s genders in the womb

violets are blue rosie is me: this is true this is true but you’re still a bitch

ace attorney irl: large hazelnut coffee, two sugars, please

snesbian (snake lesbian): large dark roast, black

soda poppy: medium decaf coffee, two ounces of almond milk, and two pumps of sugar syrup!

gin(ny) and tonic: large caramel latte

lo tide: You . . . are going to ride in the car with me to pick up the coffee, we can order our own coffees. I do not need your order, love.

lo tide: But I appreciate the information <3 <3

*~*~*~*~*

“We come bearing gifts,” Virginia announces loudly. “And by gifts, I mean we bought a baker’s dozen of cinnamon crunch bagels for everybody.”

“Well, there are twelve cinnamon crunch bagels and one plain bagel, bagged separately, for me,” Logan corrects, expertly balancing two coffee trays with a bagel container. “Also, we made more brownies.”

Poppy looks up from where she’s instructing two high-schoolers on how to hang a sign properly and grins, waving brightly. Jan is leaning on the table, hand on her head, sipping at a water bottle.

“Vodka or whiskey?” Logan asks dryly, handing over Jan’s black coffee. Jan blinks at her, flips her off, and drains a long swig from her cup.

“Water. Partied a little too hard with Remy last night, and now I’m hungover as shit.”

“We suspected as much, which is why we brought you an extra coffee.”

“Lifesaver,” Jan says, knocking back another long drag of coffee before taking a sip of her water bottle. (Logan suspects the bottle is actually Poppy’s, due to the sun-shiney stickers plastered all over it.) “You and Poppy both. But if you tell anyone that, I’ll gut you like a fish."

“No, you won’t,” Logan says, turning to hand Rosie and Remus their respective drinks. “You never do.”

Jan flips her off, but Virginia comes up behind her and leans her forehead against her shoulder. Logan turns, kissing her forehead, and smiles.

Life is good today, she thinks. Life is good.

(screen names!

virgin -> gin(ny) and tonic; ginny <3 = virginia (virgil)

lo tide = logan

snesbian (snake lesbian) = jan (janus)

soda poppy = poppy (patton)

ace attorney irl = remus

violets are blue rosie is me = rosie (roman) (thanks to @rosesisupposes for letting me borrow your screen name for this!)

[jostepherjoestar]

Ah I was sitting on this idea while waiting for requests to open! I loved your ask that had La Squadra meeting Risottos daughter from the future that got me thinking what if La Squadra had a memey s/o from present time? Would they ask lotta questions about the future and get confused when they speak in vine or tiktok references? 😆

La Squadra with a meme-y s/o from the future

gn reader // sfw

ahh that was such a cute ask and glad it made you think of this idea! thank your for requesting this and omg so so so so sorry it took so long, hope you’ll still enjoy it none the less! 💖✨ (you and your LS bf have a good comprehension of each other’s timelines and are used to traveling back and forth a bit :D)

Risotto

He knows the complications are endless and at times it all seems incomprehensible- having an s/o who can literally time travel; but your sheer knowledge of memes and the way you seem to effortlessly drop them into everyday conversation is astounding to him.

He doesn’t understand them that well, no amount of context or explaining will help. It’s simply a language he does not understand that well. And the memes or slang he kind of does understand, he just doesn’t find that funny. 

However, he will never actually find it a bother when you drop a few weird jokes. The way they make you laugh and sometimes even dry-heave from the hilarity makes him love you even more. 

In moments like that he’ll dryly let out a few slang words he remembers. You will never forget the time he let out a serious and deep “yeet” when you were already hysterically laughing, his addition might have made you stop breathing for a minute. It still makes you grin when you remember him shaking your shoulders and telling you to “breathe dammit!!”

Overall this man does not really get it or find it that entertaining himself, but he’ll gladly tease you and make you smile with the stuff he picks up. Risotto just can’t stop staring at your beaming grin.

Formaggio

Although he doesn’t truly grasp the layers of certain jokes or memes, Formaggio is your man! He’ll start using jokes and memes he learned from you and is so pleased when he makes you laugh with them. 

Formaggio is great at continuing a bit but once he loses interest he just...stops. Which is kind of perfect since your knowledge of vines is a lot bigger than those of tiktoks so those quick six seconds are easy to get the point across. 

He’ll still get some stuff wrong but he gets the gist of them. He loves annoying his teammates with his newfound references and they all can’t stand him. The second he opens his mouth with that smug look in his eyes, they all sigh in unison and prepare for the incomprehensible babbling that’s about to commence. 

The rest of the gang likes you but when you and Formaggio are hanging out at headquarters together, they tend to keep conversations quick because they know once you two team up, the suffering will never end. 

“Babe, wake up! New meme just dropped!” 

You two are a menace to deal with but god if it isn’t sickeningly cute and funny when he calls you his baby, his cinnamon apple!

Illuso

Don’t get Illuso wrong, he loves you but dear heavens you are on thin ice with him. He isn’t the most joke-y type, he likes a good chuckle but please do not oversaturate him with references he does not get. 

He has little to no interest in the videos you wish to show him and even less interest in remembering the ones he begrudgingly watched. 

At this point you’re allowed a couple jokes a day, he doesn’t count or literally prevent you from saying them, but you know each other well enough to see when he’s actually getting annoyed. 

To shut you up he’ll try and fluster you! He’ll look into your eyes so intensely as you continue talking about a meme, one eyebrow cocked and one side of his beautiful lips curled up into a smug grin. 

He’ll place a single hand on your cheek, his thumb gently swiping across it while the rest of his large hand and fingers rest on your scalp. As he hears you stumble over your words and can feel your cheeks heating up he’ll get in nice and close to your lips. Ghosting his over yours and placing a single kiss that you wish would last longer. That’ll keep you quiet for a bit 😌

He accidentally (re-)invents “that’s cringe” without your help. (he’s referring to you, sorry bestie)

Prosciutto

Why are you saying these weird words AT him? Why must you crease his brows even further?

Prosciutto’s patience is getting tested with you and your innate need for adding incomprehensible colourful commentary to everyday things and situations. He truly doesn’t get it and there is no amount of explaining you can do to change his mind. Even after the memes make even a little sense, he won’t find them funny.

He does love you, so much in fact, that he knows asking you to stop isn’t going to work and it wouldn’t be a fair thing to do. He sees how your smirk feeds into the satisfaction of landing a joke in your present time where most of your friends know what you’re talking about. 

However when you come around his part of the space time continuum, playtime is over. Well mostly. He does enjoy being a bit goofy around you, his snarky comments get a sarcastic edge that parallels your need for adding a fun flair to mundane things. 

The only time you made him laugh with a meme was when you kept repeating “i can’t believe you’ve done this” over and over while poking his cheeks during a playful mood. After a final poke, Prosciutto’s resolve finally breaking, he couldn’t help but snicker. With one final addition of the line, ever surprised by the wonderful sound he makes when he finally breaks, you stop and stare. Enamoured by your wonderful boyfriend and his gorgeous smile. 

Pesci

He’s the most supportive partner out there! Anything that makes you laugh and giggle, like the memes you keep showing him, fills his mushy heart with joy. 

Pesci will kind of get them? They all make sense in a way, but some of them just go above his head because of the layers of internet knowledge he does not possess. Although he really loves it when you show him stuff that reminded you of him.

🥺🥺🥺🥺 <-- his face the entire day after you show him cute pictures of animals and said they made you think of him. He’s just so in sickeningly smitten with you.

He’ll try out a couple of internet slang terms and blush really badly when they make you laugh. If Pesci could, he’d play your laughter on loop 24/7. Him baby, ok?

When the whole internet was debating their existence and that of every object because everything is cake, you quizzed Pesci on his cake-recognizing skills. He failed horribly, they all looked way too realistic and he might have had a small existential crisis. 

You playfully bit his wrist to show he wasn’t made of cake, planting some kisses along the sensitive spot. He shivered at your tickling pecks, relieved he wasn’t just a tasty confection and even happier that you’d love him regardless. 

Melone

Your meme comrade. 

The first mistake was showing him what the internet was like in your future timeline. He got so invested in its machinations and the entire culture surrounding it. He studied every single social media outlet. Every niche he could find only fuelling his curiosity. 

Pandora’s box has been opened and there is no turning back now. Not only does he get all the memes and vines you show him, he memorized them too. Melone will artfully display his knowledge in daily life when you’re around and show off.

Do you regret showing him? Maybe...but is it hilarious to hear him quote terribly long copy/pastas? Yes. Yes it is.

He will steal your phone so he can feed into his meme needs, saving the most fried up images that barely make any sense, to your gallery. You sorted the ones he saves into a special folder so you wouldn’t have to strain your eyes so much. 

It’s all fun and games until he starts referencing stuff during more intimate times. At first they made you laugh but as time went on you had to ask him to stop. 

Hearing Melone whisper “eeby deeby” while kissing his way down your neck might not be the mood you’d preferred. (hearing him sigh and say “so, no head?” was pretty hilarious tho)

Ghiaccio

To your surprise, once he understands the memes and gets the references, he becomes quite good at using them as well. Steering clear of the misspelled ones, of course. (one bad gloop might actually kill him)

Ghiaccio is such a big softie once he’s alone with you, letting his guard down and finally calm, not irked or stressed by his surroundings. 

He loves it when you show him new weird pictures you saved because they made you think of him. You don’t allow him to have a smartphone no matter how much he wants it (it’ll mess up sensitive time stuff) so when you’re scrolling through your preferred meme gathering app with Ghiaccio alongside you, he’ll point out ones and snicker a “that’s you”. 

It makes your heart melt how cute he can be with the stuff he picks out. Once he actually said “you’re baby” and you felt your soul leave your precious body as his cheeks turned redder than plush tomatoes in summertime. 

When he’s around the rest of the squad or in a more public setting, the usual stressors return. But with you around to offer quick witty jokes, things tend to become less focused on irritation. 

You are 100% sure you’ve heard him yell the famous words “AM I WRONG?!” during a heated argument with Melone. You had to leave the room to prevent worsening things, holding in your laughter and silently dying as you heard him rave on. 

[llatimeria]

im supposed to br writing an essay but now im just thinking about why "heckin doggo" sets off my fight-or-flight response when "eeby deeby" does not despite the growing tendency to compare the two terms. like 1 they're not anything alike, heckin doggo is used to caption cute animal content, eeby deeby is funny in that it's nonsense. but also i think im onto something about the wolf-in-sheeps-clothing idea. im gonna be annoying and weird for a second please bear with me

heckin doggo is like, meme's gift to marketerkind, because it's deliberately e-rated, wholesome, nigh-baggageless, extremely relatable content. this allowed marketers and influencers to take part in creating it for clout in ways that're too risky for other memes, which often rely on cultural context that doesn't carry far outside of the community they were born in.

but im also gonna just put it out there that this broad relatability made heckin doggo really popular among people who are just... normies, for lack of a better word. people who would probably feel contempt, pity, or disgust about the very online communities that birthed heckin doggo. when someone says "eeby deeby" or "horse plinko" or "blorbo from my shows" i know 9/10 we'll be able to at least passively exist alongside each other, if not become friends, because we roam in similar communities and probably have at least one shared interest, belief, identity, etc., and even if we had some major differences in opinion we probably wouldn't deeply hate each other, just kind of move on as incompatible people

otoh Heckin doggo got so big that I could Not make that kind of assumption anymore. people i loved and people who loved me said heckin doggo, then people i hated said heckin doggo, and then people who hated me said heckin doggo. somewhere in that timeline is when heckin doggo switched from being wholesome and cute to being cringe. it became hollow and plastic because there was no unifying bond between anyone who used it.

obvious occam's razor of "sheesh its not that deep, people just said it too much and it stopped being funny" which is also true. but other old, outdated memes just spark a bit of a groan in me whereas heckin pupperino doggo makes me feel like i just saw a shark's fin in the pool i'm swimming in

[nightswithkookmin]

So every member has been posting on weverse or Twitter lately, they've been coming on vlive. But Jk has done none of this. Do you see his social media absence as a silent rebellion against BH for them trying to hide Jikook or do you think he's probably just staying away for like mental health reasons or something.

Run that by me one more time???

Are you asking for my opinion on why JK might be absent from social media or are you asking me to choose between those two opinions as explanation as to why Jungkook might be absent from social media???

Is it for his mental health or relationship??? Lol. You are juxtaposing two extremely opposite theories so one sounds more appealing and plausible to highlight the other as outlandish and ridiculous. But that's a fallacy ma'am. Nice try though.

Also, the part about BigHit hiding Jikook...

I object. You is leading the witness sir/ma'am.

It's a little bit silly and presumptuous to assume whenever a member is absent from social media that the only possible reason I could possibly think of is that they are rebelling against their company.

Sometimes it's just a case of volition and personal interests. Sometimes you just don't wanna be social on social media. Sometimes you have work, family, chores, practice. Sometimes you've outgrown the space or lost track of why you wanted to be apart of an online community in the first place. Sometimes it's the toxicity and wanting to take a break from it for your mental health. Literally a plethora of reasons all of which could be valid depending on the context.

I try to give my theories context by sharing as much of my thought process as possible. It's asinine to strip those contexts away and present me with a skinned theory devoid of context.

About his mental health-

Let's try it this way...

Your first Ask: is there ever a moment I wonder if Jikook are just platonic brothers or something along those lines.

Yes. When they are not together romantically. I look at them and go huh... that's a very platonic hug, or interaction. I still uWu over their interactions though.

Cute. Next.

Is he rebelling against BigHit....

Why would he?? What's the context?

Do you think BigHit is making changes JK and the others might not be happy with in the company? Do you think the company or the members are interfering in his self autonomy and determination within the group or suppressing him in anyway in regards to what he says, what he does or who he does it with?

If so then him rebelling in that way would make sense to me because he wouldn't be the first idol to have used that tactic. A lot of idols do these and worse to assert themselves against their company.

If there's no such underling subtext then him rebelling makes no fucking sense to me.

Is he staying away for his mental health

Again, do you think he's been exposed to severe amounts of toxicity and hate online beyond what all the members experience on a daily such that he would need a break from the internet to rejuvenate like we saw around 2019? If so then taking a break for his mental health would make a lot of sense too.

But for someone who keeps reiterating how important connecting with his fans is to him, you gotta wonder how he strikes a balance between his mental health needs, his emotional needs and his professional deeds.

This is the last he was seen on Weverse.

Relatively recent I'd say. So when you say he's absent from social media which timeframes do you mean? They were all pretty much off the grid until recent times post PTD not just him. Are they all dealing with mental health issues or are they all rebelling against their company or something?

You have all these tiktok trends and memes he's been referring to here and there and incorporating into their freestyle dance- seems to me he's active online alright. Just not in the way we are used to them being 'active' online. He is fulfilling that need to connect with his fans just not in a way you'd expect. I can say same for Jimin.

Just gonna have to observe things for a while to form a definitive opinion. If you know what I mean.

BigHit hiding Jikook

Sigh. Sounds like shade when you put it like that honestly and so I didn't want to touch it but also I don't think anyone in Bangtan has had an out in the open romantic relationship with anyone yet💀

Show me RMs partner or Suga's girlfriend.

BTS are hiding their relationships gay or straight. If you can see it from that angle then I think the idea of Jikook hiding their relationship or Bighit aiding them or asking them to privatize their relationship isn't so outlandish and ridiculous like you make it seem. BTS are allowed to date, they are just not allowed to make those relationships public💀

If Jikook were heterosexuals and in different bands I think a lot of people would have entertained the thought. Hell people are convinced they are each dating female idols and keeping it a secret. People are convinced JK is dating Mijoo and keeping that a secret but him dating a boy in the same band and keeping it a secret is kapushkalava😌

Theories of RM married and raising a kid abounds in this fandom and people entertain the idea. However, because Jikook are in the same band and play out certain interactions in front of the cameras the thought that they may be hiding sounds funny in y'alls ears? Jokers💀

Most idols hide their relationships and are required by their companies to keep that out of the public eye. Jikook are idols ergo they are required to hide and are hiding their relationships be it with themselves or with others.

And yes BigHit does aid them in doing so when they issue statements about that "this relationship rumor is false" or when the members evade questions about their relationships in a way to insinuate they are single and not in relationships.

How Jikook feel about being required by the company to keep their relationships to themselves or their peers taking it upon themselves to enforce those company policies of private relationships is up for debate and speculation.

BTS wrote a whole ass song dissing the company and calling them out for having a no dating policy yet expecting them to write love songs and yet somehow we think it's ridiculous that Jikook who are part of BTS would rebel against their company from time to time over certain mandates? Lmho.

Edit:

This ask was sent in a few days before JK's recent VLive. I started answering it and let it go to draft because I felt it was pointless to answer it. Especially since a lot of my thoughts on this were regurgitative, abstract, and based on my own subjective opinion and assumptions about the boys. I feel I keep repeating myself and repeating the same things I've been saying over and over with these kinds of shady trolling asks. Sigh.

However, due to recent events that gives more credit to my thoughts and feelings on the matter, I'll attempt to answer it again.

In JK's VLive he said he noticed it's been a while he interacted with Fans which is why he jumped on the Live to see Army- if we take his word for it and at face value then he said nothing about his mental health ergo it can't be because of that😌

Tae equally said in his VLive he noticed the others coming on VLive and so he thought he would come too.

Now, don't you think they wouldn't have come so spontaneously if they were dealing with mental health issues or trying to take care of their mental health???

There was a time Tae was constantly online interacting with Fans and I think I was one of the few people out here who speculated he was lonely and wasn't dating anyone at the time- which he confirmed in Soop by the way when he told JK he being online constantly was because he was lonely.

Do you think he staying off Social media in recent times is because of his mental or that he doesn't feel as lonely anymore??

I stay off line sometimes for my mental health, sometimes too it's because I feel there are people and things in my life I've neglected and need to spend time with and pay equal attention to them.

Sometimes it's because there's death in the family or studies, or work or a film I need to catch up on...

As to the relationship between campanies and artists- in case you can't pick up on the subtle cues some of the members leave- Suga captures it so well in his Weverse magazine interview.

We made you, as long as you follow our instructions you will be good. Idols are expected to be subservient and sycophantic. As Suga points out it's a thing in the industry and it's destroying the industry.

As to whether or not you think BTS are fully and totally exempt from this harsh reality because BigHit is different is up to you frankly. As to whether or not you think this type of attitude from companies can create friction and tensions between them and the bands is equally up to you.

As to whether you think certain members in BTS are more obsequious than others, more rebellious than others is equally up to you.

In what ways they rebel is up to you too.

That's part A.

Part B. Lol

I answered the first part of this Ask based on the assumption you were being shady. But just in case you were not then here is an alternative response.

Like I said, JK is not the only member who's been absent from SNS in recent times. They all were at one point.

It's interesting how they will promise to come on Vlive whenever they have some to sell us and only recently started showing up on Vlive consistently when Permission to Dance received such mixed reactions from the audience.

It seems their disconnect from their fanbase and its subsequent consequences is becoming much more apparent to them...

For Jungkook, I think the members discussed his rebellious phase at the beginning of the year when they talked about him not posting for the members's birthday, how they expect his post for Hobi to be a start of something new and Jimin even said he was gonna cut his head off if he didn't post for his birthday- I don't think in all the times he didn't post for the members it's because he was grappling with mental health issues. It's just a post. It doesn't take more than a minute to wish your bandmate a happy birthday on their birthdays.

Especially not when he was posting relatively regularly on SNS but would go radio silent on their birthdays... Forget mental health that's antisocial and we saw how the members felt about that from the VLive.

Also, I think it would be insensitive for the members to expect Jungkook to post on their birthdays or for Jimin to hold him to such high expectations when they know very well that he deals with mental health problems or was dealing with mental health issues in those periods he didn't post for them- whoever says Jungkook didn't post for the members because he was dealing with mental health issues is a fraud. Yea I said it. If I ever spewed that nonsense out here then I'm a fraud too chilee💀

His other forms of silent rebelliousness has been in passive aggressive backhanded remarks aimed at the company and at times certain members. In my opinion of course. He won't do what he won't do and if he has to do it he will do it huffing and puffing and later chat shit about it during pillow talks at night with his boyfriend.

So I don't know what it is he might zeffbe rebelling against now. Like I said, being asked to tone down does not mean he can't Jikook. They are Jikooking. It's just on the low low.

And when you say he is reacting to BigHit hiding Jikook, you have to take into account if Jungkook himself wants to keep things hidden and private. Why would he rebel against something if it's what he wants too?? Know what I mean?

This is why I was talking about context. Jungkook of 2018 and 2019 is not the same Jungkook now. He's pretty much the same person, has the same values but he is learning and growing and that is equally important in the way he sees the world around him.

For instance, he wasn't one to think much about the future when he made certain choices and this is something I've talked about a lot in my blogs. Carpedium, make hay while the sun shines etc used to be his values but now he places a lot of emphasis on thinking about the future, being considerate and about how his actions could impact his future.

Those two mindsets produce totally different actions. One is likely to do very childish things, one is not. One is likely to be reckless, not very ambitious, and less serious, while one is likely to be thoughtful, calculative, intentional and less impulsive. He talks a lot about growing up fast but now it seems to me he's catching up with the times.

This is not to say he is a different person but more so he is becoming. He is learning and unlearning. He is not there yet but he is getting there.

If he wants to sit with Jimin, Vlive with Jimin, post on his birthday and not the others, if he wants to stand in a line up next to him but he can't then definitely he's gonna react strongly to that. But as it stands he is not doing any of that in my opinion- not that I'm aware of. Dude is living his best life out here.

I think I've said this, he is happy with where they are at now. If he is not we will know. That's when they ghetto jumps out of him. Don't know if I'm making sense chilee. Lol.

On the part of the company, I can only speculate to the effect that they are looking for various means to optimize and leverage the bands high demand. That they are trying to monetize their platforms and so restricting access to the boys is part of their mid pandemic marketing strategy- something I have been saying from day dot since the pandemic hit.

Like Suga says, monetization is a huge problem in Kpop and the Pandemic has only exacerbated it.

Showing up on Vlive gives us free access to the boys. As often as we would like to see them through that medium it doesn't pay their bills- doesn't pay much especially if they earn money in Won or whatever currency Naver uses.

YouTube is great. However it comes with restrictions and challenges especially with censorship- videos can be demonetized easily and willy nilly, You have to comply with Coppa and YT guidelines. There's CPM- whixh I don't know if it's high for BTS...

Then there's that whole breaching into Korea/China market agenda going on with them etc

Bighit is a business. BTS is not a nonprofit organization. I think the members can understand that much should the company explain to them why they all- not just Jikook- need to limit access to them.

Bighit made them and holds a contract over their heads. There's a certain amount of control they have over them yet a certain level of autonomy they reserve within such a transaction or business relationship.

Take Tae's appearance in Peakboy's MV for example. It's indication BTS does have a ree will to embark on such out of company adventures. There's Hwarang and features and all these side hustles they do...

Yet in the same breath they were at one point prohibited from taking photos with fans on the streets and stuff like that- I guess I should say allegedly.

If they want to VLive they will- as to whether or not they can VLive outside schedule is another thing all together.

As spontaneous as their VLives can be, a lot of them are scheduled too. So it's interesting how they all went MIA for a noticeable minute without the company officially scheduling these 'compulsory' Fan interactions via Vlive or even YT.

Let's not pretend they don't post sometimes on behalf of certain members. Let's not pretend that that doesn't happen💀

Jungkook showed up on YT grumpy and passive aggressive talking about that he didn't know he was supposed to do a VLive, he wasn't prepared, his hair was messy, he didn't know how to operate things- sigh.

Then he nagged us to death about the arts and crafts thingy... but in his recent live he said singing is all he can do so he sang and thrust his hips away- we can't be mad at that.

So if your question is whether I think there's something up with BTS and how they are interacting with fans or not interacting with fans my answer is yes. I mean that much is obvious...

Money is the root of all evil blink blink. Lol.

Do I think there's something up with Jikook and BigHit my answer is yes still- my theory?? Well I'm still observing things and hoarding information. Can't put out half baked theories you know?

I'm a professional ship delulu theorist and I take my delusions seriously😐

I can say this though, I think BigHit has a lot to lose now that they are a publicly traded company. They have investors and stockholders they hold themselves accountable to- how the fear of a scandal or the stigma of a queer relationship plays into all that is yet to be seen.

They are trying to mitigate that risk through strategic marketing and business models- separating BigHit under Hybe is one, their partnership with Dispatch has always been one. There's just so much they are doing we don't know and can only assume or infer.

If their recent interviews and line of questioning has taught me anything, it's that they are all well aware of our theories on BTS and speculations on their sexuality and if Taemin's manager can ask him or was asked if he was dating Kai to his face then others can equally speculate, wonder and ask BigHit directly if Jikook being the sticky ones in the group are dating fueled by all the fandom theories out there.

Rumour says Jikook is gay and are dating eachother. How Bighit feels about this, how BTS feel about it, how Jikook feel about it open for discussion.

There are those who just want to nip all such rumours in the bud and those who want to lean into it and and profit off of it because negative attention is still attention.

Which brings me to your question about Jikook, because I see you sent that Ask in twice, they sure as hell are goofy and dorky. Jungkook admitted that much in his interview.

They are the ones to troll the lives out of us and feed into our delusions of them. It's why most people dismiss them as messing with fans and playful and fanservicey.

So I find it interesting that the members calling them a couple because of their outfits isn't being taken as goofy, dorky, fanservicey but as a reason to further invalidate their relationship.

If you can't take whatever Jikook says and does seriously then you certainly can't take whatever anyone says and does concerning them seriously either.

I will answer the rest of it under the Ask you sent in. This post is getting longer already.

I hope this helps.

GOLDY

[taketheringtolohac]

i 100% believe miles comes out on tumblr like after rise of the ashes or something and everyone rejoices (this headcanon is sheer fucking gold btw)

Oh dear you’ve activated my trap card for this hc get ready for this because i definitely agree that Miles coming out is CELEBRATED on tumblr however it’s a LONG journey before he gets there. Before I get into it though there is a cw for briefly talking about suicide so please be mindful of that! It’s mostly in the context of the note post RFTA and people speculating what happened to Miles in his disappearance from tumblr, but I do talk about it so.

Ok here we go

So Miles is well known as That Guy on Steel Samurai tumblr who is absolutely insufferable to interact with but he writes good meta and writes even BETTER fics, but it’s the kind where something is obviously going on in this guys life and is he ok? Because it seems like he’s working through some shit and that combined with his ask answering sprees of outright denying he’s gay and just talking Like That on the internet people get a kick out of him and he’s JUST tolerable enough that people don’t really DO anything about it. He probably gets a call out post maybe like one time but it’s just by some rando who’s pretty new to the fandom and doesn’t get the sort of unspoken agreement steel samurai collective fandom has made to just put up with him despite him being absolutely dreadful.

But then all of a sudden Miles just... disappears one day out of nowhere. At first it’s just a day, then a day turns into a week, and a week turns into a month and people are like what the fuck? What happened to the iq of 127 guy? And people start writing WILD theories about what happened to him to chase him off the website because it’s like, 2016. But people start to get WORRIED when his longest running fic Updates it’s FINAL(!?) chapter and he just... kills off the Evil Magistrate. That’s when people are like oh my god did he? Did he fucking kick the bucket? Oh my god what the hell and he is just absolute radio silence on tumblr because surprise! He leaves the note in his office and then he also decides to leave tumblr at the same time because he really genuinely thinks that this is it for him.

HOWEVER. Miles also has a best friend in the Steel Samurai fandom. Someone who he met on tumblr years ago and who he enjoyed debating and conversing with who he thinks has very well thought out opinions on the show even if he doesn’t agree with all of them (he does agree with most of their points, which is why he was so open to their friendship in the first place). And they’re the ONLY person who he keeps in contact with while he’s in Europe finding himself after his breakdown.

That person is Maya Fey.

He and Maya became friends years ago and neither of them know who each other are or how old they are or really anything about each other except their screen names and more personal details that they choose to share over kik, which Miles only got because he was curious to know more about her and it was the only platform she offered. She was very hesitant about choosing to become his friend, but Maya’s fixer complex told her wow this is a broken man, maybe IM the one who’s gonna make him a better person and make him less awful. And for the first few years this had minimal success. She got him to say a few more slang terms, but really he didn’t change all that much. But she was consistently kind to him! And once you got to know him he really isn’t that bad, especially in those rare moments of emotional vulnerability he allowed himself (he was too afraid of being “found out” even though he had moved out years ago) and he could actually be a pretty fun guy.

It isn’t until Miles’s year in Europe when things really start to change. He had a very vocal crisis to her over kik that kinda freaked both of them out, and as I mentioned he stopped using tumblr entirely and Maya gets WORRIED about him and he just. Starts telling her stuff because he’s emotional. It’s the most he’s EVER told her and it’s still nothing TOO revealing because he knows how public his image is and he doesn’t want ANYONE, not even who he considers to be his closest friend, to find out who he is online because he doesn’t want to be seen as unprofessional or just general shame about his hobbies. And over the course of that year they just... slowly she keeps beating it into his head that he’s a good person! Or at the very least a FINE one who is trying to be good and that’s all that matters. And like he starts to just... internalize it. And starts listening to her advice about maybe going to therapy. And then HE starts listening to HER problems more and it becomes... a more mutual friendship. And it’s nice because he’s never had anyone like that! But he keeps talking about this guy who saved him and stuff and that’s when Maya is like woah pump the breaks dude we need to talk about how you’re definitely gay and he gets SUPER defensive about it but like over time he just. He starts to come to terms with it, and she helps him a lot but he does a lot of that work himself too.

And so when he comes back in 2-4 he’s starting to feel... better of course but also different? And more confident in himself. He still has a long way to go but he’s learning! And that’s what matters to him! But with learning and trying to be better he realizes something. He has to log back onto tumblr and actually like, apologize for being horrible. And he does just that. But when he logs back on he’s SHOCKED that he has HUNDREDS of asks a lot of them are the usual but a lot of them are also ones of like, GENUINE concern asking if he was ok and if he was still alive and he’s taken aback that people even SENT HIM kind asks when he was so awful to them.

Miles makes a really long apology/announcement post where he’s INCREDIBLY sincere and in it he OPENLY acknowledges that he was dealing with a lot of unresolved trauma and says something about how he came to terms with being gay in his absence and he thinks that that’ll be the end of it but within literal MINUTES of him posting that he’s getting asks telling him how HAPPY THEY ARE that he’s not only ok and doing better but that he came out and people WELCOMING him to the community and then there’s like posts that are like “And people then make posts like wow am I the only one who got emotional about the guy with a iq of 127s thank you post? anyone else? Just me? Ok (12.6k notes)” and “If the 127 iq guy can get better and learn to work towards being positive then you can too (54.9k notes)” within a matter of DAYS and seeing those and just

It’s weirdly SO validating for him that he was being cheered on by literally THOUSANDS of people who are celebrating his growth as a person! That are celebrating his COMING OUT when he was SO scared of that part of himself for SO long. And the fact that people were ROOTING FOR HIM even when he was the actual worst just. It makes him feel so good about himself and it makes him feel loved! So much so that he writes ANOTHER post thanking everyone for being so kind to him and telling them that things DO get better and there ARE people that appreciate them and it just... gets passed around because it’s a really inspiring and reassuring message and people just GENUINELY start to appreciate him. And it’s just a celebration of HIS character growth by THOUSANDS of people he doesn’t even know because man was he famous outside of his perceived sphere of influence due to the amount of meme material he ended up writing.

He still used tumblr and stuff after all this but he’s really calmed down a lot, he even rewrites the ending of his long running fic that caused people to panic about him. And he still answers asks and writes meta and fics and stuff, and he’s still MILES of course so he can be a bit of an ass when you disagree with him but he’s. Nicer. And happier. And that’s what matters.

[sportyclown]

how sawamura, miyuki, yuki, and kuramochi text (friends + s/os)

will most likely do a part 2 with more boys at a later date! these got freakishly long because i am, at my core, a very mad. also might revisit as i get re-familiar with the characters, i just had this idea floating around in my head. also the way these got pro

sawamura eijun

no matter who he texts, it’s always extremely extra. not only does he always give more information than you asked for – ex. if you text him wya? he will give you a play by play of his entire route or something

 he also uses tons of emoticons. and yes I do mean emoticons, baby boy has a flip phone. ifhe does eventually get a smart phone, then this boy overuses tf out of emojis. he’s the sort of person that sees someone use a combination of emojis he likes and then tries to copy them, but uses it completely incorrectly, but its v cute.

if you send him a meme, he will respond with an unnecessary amount of hahas. 

when he’s texting his lil bae, they’re always on his mind so he ofc texts them every thought that comes to his mind! when he sees something that reminds him of you, he won’t hesitate to share it with you. 

if you have been together for a long time, then we will definitely text you words of affirmation and be very honest/blunt about how he feels about you. he’s also always sure to ask you about your day - and he seriously cares. but i still i feel like with a s/o he would prefer facetime to texting just because he likes to see you :)

overall, a very adorable texter and his enthusiasm is just as contagious when texting as it is in person. he’s kind of clueless so he doesn’t pick up on subtext. so be blunt, just like he will be with you~

kuromochi youichi

my bias might be showing here, but I feel like he is one of the most well-adjusted boys in terms of being ready for a serious relationship tbh (at least post-high school). i mean we all saw that he regularly corresponded with wakana wish that were me lmao

i think he would most often use proper capitalization, but not to the point where he uses a period after every text

would send his friends news articles about his favorite fighting games where u like gaming or not

a meme fiend in general. the sort of person who uses reaction images of people he knows. (if you’re dating, he would still have a stash of funny pics/screenshots of you on ft, but he’d ofc only use them with you <3). his convos with his friends are rarely serious

 i don’t think he’d be the type to text haha out loud, but he does use LOL on occasion. with close friends/his lil bae he might send a voice memo of him laughing hysterically if you send him something REALLY funny. ugh my annoying king <3

unlike eijun he’s the king of being perceptive / picking up subtext. 

similarly, i do think he’s pretty reliable, but for friends i feel like he might make a lil bit of a stink lmao. like lets say a friend wants him to pick something up for them, he might play like he won’t do it then miraculously shows up with the requested item. its giving tsundere vibes on the low.

with his partner: i feel like he would use emojis when he’s trying to be ~cute~. i think with a established partner he’d be pretty flirty still but he’s v much whipped for his partner so its way more mushy than it would be early in the relationship.

yes your name has hearts/stars in his phone. mans is a SAP for you

his love language is more quality time imo, so I think he values time spent with you over texting time. so a lot of your texts might be asking you to come over to hang out / get a meal or vice versa

like eijun he wants to hear about YOU, and is very supportive and good at advice when he wants to be. he can be goofy but this is how he shows you he cares/sees you as more than a friend

he’s a blushy/shy boy with his s/o esp early in the relationship, so he might be hesitant or nervous to say “i love you” or anything like that outright, but you know anyway, which just makes the times when he does outright say it that much sweeter.

miyuki kazuya

i mean it goes without saying that this man is snarky. he’s not a meme king himself but he enjoys when people send them to him and will usually play off the meme to make his own jokes.

i feel like he also likes deep-fried memes or the very abstract, post-modern memes. miyuki is good at making other people laugh, but he has a generally very-off brand humor and the things that make him cackle hardest are either at someone else’s expense (very similar to kuramochi, so they bond a lot over that) or just indiscernible without access to a huge layer of context/background

saves the reaction photos kuramochi sends him, but doesn’t usually use them. but seeing an ugly pic of eijun yelling never fails to make him grin LMAO

i think he also texts A LOT about baseball, even more so than these other baseball dummies. texts his teammates a lot of articles he reads or clips from games/cool plays. this is mostly about texts, but in terms of social media I think miyuki uses twitter/instagram the most especially for baseball related reasons, while kuramochi uses snapchat the most. 

he probably texts a lot about baseball as well, both seriously and playfully

i can see him using hahas and LOLs in equal measure, but he would also utilize the haha reaction if he had an iphone. this boy does value his wit so he would definitely have commentary about any memes or jokes he’s sent

you won’t win a joke war against him, he will definitely one-up whatever you send him with either a one-liner or another joke. how tf does he do it?

definitely ignores people/conversations if he really wants to - but ofc he never does that to his BAE

if miyuki give you a dry one-line response...he’s not interested at all or he’s feeling frustrated about something else. but when he’s really happy? he will text his friends all the time and spam them! i see him as someone who enjoys texting when he has the attention span/state of mind for it. and when he’s texting his s/o his texting gets even more ~flavorful~

wit his lil bae: i don’t think miyuki would switch it up much w his s/o. is probably even more teasing with you over text than he is with his friends, which is saying something.

like talking with you just by nature of you being his partner. prob prefers texts to facetime because text kinda allows for maximum snark

he LIVES for you guys’ witty back and forth 

if he’s traveling for work or something, will definitely relish in you guys binge texting a tv show or something but just making funny commentary (or he’ll just send you funny commentary to get a reaction)

 he can dish it and he’s also not a super sensitive guy so he can take it tenfold from you as well. nothing y’all wouldn’t be used to when talking in person!

sometimes when texting him you’ll want to beat his a*s because he can be so cheeky but its endearing in a way. he definitely adds emojis to the end of his more annoying messages to give it that loveable vibe (and it works ofc, we love u miyuki)

he’s kinda clingy on the low so i think he’d prefer a partner that’s more open with their affection via text than he is. he would live for your random ilys or whatver throughout the day. also would not mind at all if you updated him on your actions throughout the day or sent him snaps - might not be able to respond to everything, but will react and appreciate it. very likely to make jokes about whatever you’re doing.

would also apologize over text. he’s not always used to apologizing can be awkward about it, so text makes it easier for him.

he would use emojis w you in a joking/ironic way. would absolute use those dumb but genius emoji combinations

yuki tetsuya

i’m literally cracking up thinking about texting him. he is one of my ultimate baes but im sorry i just know he texts dry asf. but its part of his charm!

has a flip phone. either never upgrades or gets the chunkiest most basic android if he is forced to

the thing is this man thinks that he is infusing all his texts with, like, tajin level seasoning, when in reality its pepper

uses punctuation. always. exclamation marks are used sparingly to express excitement.

but i can’t get the image out of my head of an upset tetsuya texting you a simple angry emoji (or the angry emoticon >:( LOL) if he’s reeeeeeally mad. but its v cute i can’t take him seriously. i just want to give him a hug <3

 but you know what he is so PASSIONATE about whatever he’s talking about that his passion bleeds into his text through sheer quantity of words and depth of thought. ultimately, all his conversations end up being extremely flavorful in terms of content. he is surprisingly good at having deep conversations over text.

he’s better at holding conversations with more extroverted personalities, truthfully.

he’s another one who sends random things to people when he thinks about them. miyuki of course gets so many texts/thoughts about shogi. if you get a random haiku, poem, or quote from testu, that means you’re blessed enough to be in his inner circle! he definitely thought of you when he read it and and wants you to respond!

with bae: he doesn’t really change up his texting style tbh, but he has a stronger outward reaction to what YOU text in response.

definitely the type to smile almost imperceptibly at his phone as he texts you, even if you send him something like “hey i’m at the store, want anything?”

he’s not great as verbal affection early in the relationship, so you’ll have to discern his love/affection. however baby boy is NOT afraid to just straight up say he loves you, he does it all the time and early.

he’s KNOWN for being reliable and responsible, so he will be at your beck and call when he’s able to for anything you need, but his heart is also warmed by the thought of you reciprocating that care. if your texts show him you’re thinking of him just like he does too. he’s very gentle and sweet, and checks up on you when he’s able to see if you need anything at all.

he might be reliable, but that doesn’t mean that he’s the quickest guy to respond to texts. he’s a busy guy, and he doesn’t think about his phone all the time, but he will always get back to you (bae does not play when it comes to completing things).

if they came up with a shogi game for gamepidgeon and tetsu had an iphone, your phone probably would be spammed with requests for games lol.

this is my first time doing headcanons like this so please let me know what you think or give me tips on how to improve! I really enjoying thinking about it so I hope to do more in the future <3

[enneamage]

Rereading your analysis on alliumduo now that things have progressed, and damn, you were spot on even down to the surprisingly domestic vibes when Tommy isn't in his tommyinnit persona. Not sure if it's romantic, but they do seem to get on well.

Technically the analysis belongs to the lovingly and generously sourced relationship matrixes that I pilfer around the internet, but I’m glad to be on google duty o7.  

These two have fully taken center stage since that point, huh. It was pretty clear before, but at this point the crush (/p or /r or some /qp fusion of the two) has to be one of those jokes with a massive grain of truth to it because it’s been a consistent factor in so many genuine decisions that Tommy has made over the past few months. He memes hard, but not this hard-- there’s a real thread tugging at his heart right now.  

A friend actually gave me a jarring insight as to why Tommy and Ranboo might have bonded so much after whatever EB might have been came to an end, aside from all of the organic factors. Ranboo was a whole lot more cooperative when it came to trying to keep them all together as people ‘post-breakup’, which was probably a huge relief to Tommy. Ranboo was being ‘loyal.’ Ranboo (for better or for worse) was working to try and ‘fix things’ between himself and Tubbo, and Tommy noticed his willingness to go along with his plans in sharp contrast to when Tubbo was trying to pull away from everything. Tommy is probably a little bit stress-bonded to Ranboo because of this time, even if he’s come to peace with the situation in other ways. There’s a lot of poetic irony here since Tommy seemed to be abrasive to Ranboo for taking up Tubbo’s attention in the beginning, and now we’re all the way over here.

I think these two have a lot of respect for each other, in their clumsy way. If Ranboo *cough* lets go of perfectionism and learns to honor his limitations *cough* and Tommy start taking on projects in parallel they could get a real power-couple thing going. That’s not necessary for them to work (and might actually be a bad idea) since they’ve got such a strong foundation in the personal sphere, but their dynamic is so rooted in mutual support that it’s inevitable that they’ll have the raw talent and intelligence of the other rooting for their success.

While we’re on it, I feel like Tommy is just glad to be able to flirt with anybody and not get in trouble. He’s always had a flirty/obscene sense of humor and he’s finally got a context to let it out—men. Tommy has wanted to flirt with men far before this point, but chat and twitter re-enforcing decency made it very clear that him flirting with adults was unwelcome, so some of this upswing is just the natural consequences of Tommy being eighteen and Unleashed. I remember thinking that Billzo might take on the role of ‘the person Tommy is allowed to flirt with’ when he first showed up, and boy howdy was I off the mark there.

[viridiave]

NARUMITSU <ATTEMPTING TO READ THE SUBTEXT PLATONICALLY>

*Wrote all this some time last month so I might be off- really really off- also full disclosure I too am a Narumitsu shipper- this is just me giving myself a bad time doing the impossible and having fun XD

-I am going to fail sooner or later. Looking at you, Bridge to the Turnabout.

FIRST GAME >Turnabout Samurai -Yep. We're jumping right in with 'unnecessary feelings'. I'm going to be put on a stake for this. -This is going to become the main argument with any and all homoerotic subtext present in the first game- that it was unintentional. They didn't actively start making it gay until the second game, and even before then the producer for the games had to warn the development team not to try and insert these themes for fear of getting it wrong and lose the fanbase they'd accidentally caught the eye of. I can still create arguments for why this specific, hilariously meme-able line could be read romantically of course- but as far as the game development team at the time was concerned this interaction was never meant to be read as romantic. -Unease and uncertainty are... very valid feelings for Edgeworth to feel at this very moment and as much as I'd like to joke that he was feeling uncertain about his sexuality after seeing his childhood friend as an adult, this line was really just likely meant to lead up to the conclusion of Turnabout Goodbyes and Edgeworth's character arc for this game. His perfect win streak had just been shattered in a case prior. In this case, he was meant to persecute the lead actor of his favorite show- and in some ways his helping the defense can be taken as his biases getting the better of him. His sense of justice and his entire worldview is about to be overhauled, and I can see how he would regard this budding doubt in himself as an unnecessary (heh) distraction from what he believes is his true purpose in life.

>Turnabout Goodbyes -Edgeworth wanting to keep him away from DL-6 has its own section mostly because of how stubborn he becomes when it comes to Phoenix's insistence in particular. It's clear that this stubbornness is a front, I will concede with that- but there are merits to his initial reluctance in accepting Phoenix's defense. It's evident that Phoenix himself has grown over the course of the game so far, but in both of the times that he faced off against Edgeworth in court, his victories were... a tad bit contrived. For instance in Turnabout Sisters, Phoenix really only wins because Mia was being channeled and blackmailed White as he was about to leave the stand. Turnabout Samurai is a little better- but had him rely on quite a lot of coincidences (proven later to be substantiated) that surfaced during the trial. This is nothing to say of the deeper reason Edgeworth has over dissuading Phoenix from taking his case ("You in particular I cannot ask to do this.")- where I can make an argument for his pride and/or concern over Phoenix's career as an attorney. The stakes are relatively high here as well- if Phoenix fails, Edgeworth is incarcerated, Manfred von Karma goes free, DL-6 goes cold once again with no hope of getting re-opened, and everything that Phoenix has been working towards as an attorney would have been in vain. DL-6 is a case that has ruined many lives- it'd make sense if Edgeworth himself felt as though it would be a waste of time and effort to take this case because of how convinced he was of murdering his own father prior to Gourd Lake. He'd grown up for the past 15 years with a nightmare and a death sentence over his head- I wouldn't be surprised if he simply gave up and accepted that he was going to die at the hands of his prosecuting mentor. Even if he were acquitted for the murder of Robert Hammond, his perceived involvement in DL-6 would have thrown a wrench in his freedom- any lesser attorney would have given up on that. And this is unloaded BEFORE Phoenix tells him about the true reason as to why he became an attorney. -Phoenix's insistence to defend Edgeworth in this case can easily just be read as platonic- his complete, unfettered faith in Edgeworth's innocence is heavily influenced by that class trial, for better or for worse. While I'm perfectly happy to imagine that Phoenix's attachment to his idealized version of Edgeworth grew into something deeper sometime in the fifteen years that he hasn't seen him, I do believe that Phoenix in particular really is just that much of a sentimental person. This is to say nothing of his nature as a defense attorney- and what little time he's managed to spend with Mia has taught him that unbridled trust in his client is what gets him through the day, and he's putting it to practice here. Edgeworth was what he has been working towards the moment he decided he would practice law- as Phoenix at this point in time still believes that he could do no wrong despite seeing what Edgeworth is truly like in court. -Cutting into the meat of Phoenix and Edgeworth's shared past, I made a point earlier to say that Phoenix's perception of Edgeworth as a person is idealized. Every memory that Phoenix has had of Edgeworth prior to the events of the first game were from their childhood- and they had 4-8 months (plus one year if we're generous with the retconning some of the official art gave us) MAX to develop a friendship so strong that Phoenix makes major life decisions just to meet with this man. The fact that this time spent together was ENOUGH for Phoenix in the first place is... really hard to skirt around. To quote Dan from GameGrumps "this is something that you would only do for someone you're trying to marry" and if one of them was a woman I guarantee this ship would be canon already. But then again- since this is Phoenix Wright in particular somehow I can believe that he really is just that sentimental- and that isn't always a bad thing. He'd managed to save Edgeworth twice with this conviction after all. When Phoenix sees Edgeworth, he doesn't see a demon prosecutor, he sees his childhood friend who aimed to become a shining example of justice following in his father's footsteps. They address how shaky his foundations for becoming an attorney were in the Phoenix Wright Files once actually- going through a mini-existential crisis because he'd become an attorney with the main goal of saving Edgeworth from what he'd become, and now that he's accomplished that he's just kind of... lost. Edgeworth himself manages to pull him out of this, though. -man that hurts my case a lot actually but to be fair I was banking on failing -I just didn't expect it to happen so early even with the first game -in fact ESPECIALLY with the first game -though I cannot for the life of me wonder how I can come up with a heterosexual explanation for why the buildup towards Edgeworth telling Phoenix and Maya about his nightmares reads so much like a stunted love confession. I'm serious- just read any high school shojo manga ever. You'll find that it hits a lot of the same beats.

>Rise From The Ashes -It's in this case that we observe some of the consequences that the intial upheaval of Edgeworth's worldview in Turnabout Goodbyes causes him; distrust in the enforcement of the law. Not exactly the time for him to be dabbling in another, meme-able brand of unnecessary feelings. Several things like the Prosecutor's Office's relationship with the Police Department starts to waver with the murder of Bruce Goodman, and this becomes the final nail in the coffin for Edgeworth's worldviews and values as a prosecutor. His and Phoenix's teamwork in this trial becomes prevalent- the story behind the King of Prosecutors award represents this best despite it's currently incomplete state. The backstory behind this award paints an ideal of justice in the courtroom wherein the truth comes out as a result of the efforts of contradictory forces. A broken halberd that can cut through any shield (the prosecution) and a broken, unbreakable shield (the defense). Read as representation the text becomes something of a metaphor for the ideal justice that manifests itself in the best parts of Edgeworth and Phoenix respectively- the duality of their opposing professions rather than something that is limited to their relationship. -The same argument that I've used for Phoenix's unwavering belief in Edgeworth's innocence in Turnabout Goodbyes can be used for this case as well. -Though Edgeworth still goes M.I.A for a year after this case, it does grant his disappearance a bit more context as to why exactly it is that he left- and I'll be taking a tiny liberty with this and apply the interpretation that the Miles Edgeworth Files grants us, and that he left in order to better himself and grow as a person, a prosecutor, and as a friend to Phoenix Wright. It's... difficult for me to want to read this as anything but romantically-charged because the narrative beats are NOT lost on me (the dialogue makes this especially hard. send help.)- there's a possibility that Edgeworth at this point in time realizes the value in having a better, more functional dynamic with the one defense attorney who he considers a true equal in court. This dynamic will allow for less chances to encounter missteps and errors in any verdicts handed down in court, and if Edgeworth is to pursue his ideal of justice- Phoenix Wright is undoubtedly essential to this endeavor. The aftermath of Rise From The Ashes is indicative of this newfound goal of his- the symbolism behind the old King of Prosecutors award and the two halves of the evidence list certainly helps this case. -<"It seems all you do is worry about me." -Miles Edgeworth, Rise From The Ashes> For good fucking reason Edgeworth. You were accused of murder and have implicated yourself on the stand for DL-6 just a few months ago- and if the Investigations games are anything to go by, you're more of a danger magnet than PHOENIX is. I had to say it. The first Investigations game takes place over the course of 2-3 days and the sheer amount of shit that Edgeworth had to deal with in between that interval truly makes me wonder how Phoenix Wright ended up with the title of danger magnet. And THIS time- Edgeworth's car becomes a crime scene because his corrupt superiors needed a convenient way of transporting a corpse. There's VERY good reasons to worry about the livelihood of Miles Edgeworth. -Okay I... can't believe I forgot about the chessboard. Here's the kicker- the one we see from his office isn't even the only one he owns. I... legitimately cannot give you ANY purely heterosexual, platonic explanation for why Miles Edgeworth has THREE (THREE. I CANNOT OVERSTATE THIS. HE HAS T H R E E OF THESE FUCKING THINGS. GOOD GOD. HE CAN'T BE ANY MORE EXTRA.)(there exists a similar, portable set in the Investigations games- and he has a new set by the time of Dual Destinies) sets of custom-made chessboards with personalized, highly-specific red and blue designs made purely to depict his rivalry with Phoenix Wright. I fold. I give up. I forgot about the chessboards I wAS NOT EXPECTING TO FAIL THIS E A R LY- -You know what the real kicker is with Rise From the Ashes? The main argument that I have introduced back in Turnabout Samurai does not apply here. Rise From the Ashes was made as a DS-exclusive case and did not exist in the original GameBoy version of the Trilogy. Which means if there is homoerotic tension written in for this case (and there happens to be a lot. the chessboard is proof enough.), then we can safely assume that the writers at this point were well-aware. So yeah- maybe don't feel TOO bad about the unnecessary feelings line- because ever since then the writers have been playing off of that and it SHOWS. -Is there really a point to this I'm just- everything is stacked against me tryna interpret this platonically -Like I know I make a point to say that a romantic relationship isn't the end-all of all relationships because this franchise LOVES pushing the Found Family dynamic and I'm an absolute sucker for that -good god by the time Dual Destinies rolls around I'll probably just give up and happily say they're happily married -that's literally what they act like don't even pretend