#i like looking at what people think about me based on my signs and examining how i feel about it

[arcane-ish]

One of the weirdest instincts of fandom to me is when people go on crusades that seem like they are about getting people to not ship what they don't ship. Rather than you, know, trying to convince people to ship what you ship.

Like, there a ships I don't like. I have major issues with JayVik conceptually and their affect on the show (and I think they give asshole techbro vibes rather than sweet academic vibes) and I dislike Lightcannon because I don't like Lux (because I think she gives off obnoxious cheerleader vibes and I want to punch her every time she says the "By the Light" line), I don't ship Vi/Jinx and Silco/Jinx because I think they pull off the familial relationship and interactions well.

But I make like some comment about them when it comes up and maybe one post where I explain that I don't like them.

And then I spent my time squeeing and fawning over the ships I actually like. (also: I'm aware that my ship preferences are purely personal preference based aren't some sign of moral superiority)

I thought this attitude about trashtalking a ship and pretending it is the worst thing was already really very fake and questionable in ongoing shows where there's actual ship competition. Where there seem to be actual fans who believe "If I just keep screaming about how Lana is evil and gross then maybe they'll reveal Chloe is Lois Lane and her and Clark will get together", if we just scream loud enough, they will write off the other couple and make my couple canon.

IMO doing that is already pretty shit both personally/morally towards your fellow fans, societally morally questionable when people use real big concepts like misgyny/pedophilia/racism/homophobia just because they are searching for the best "stick" to beat their opponent with and practically questionable (how often is the result really good? Also plenty of examples where pivots were made by the creators but to something very different than what the haters wanted), but I can at least understand the mindset of competition and fighting dirty even when I don't approve of it.

But ARCANE IS A CLOSED CANON (heck it's been a closed canon since before the show aired to the general public)

IMO there's a space for discussing problematic elements and trends. Whether in fan behavior (ie black characters getting ignored and unjustly shit on by fandom a lot, male characters and ships being valued and fawned over disproportionally over female characters) or canon/media portrayals (ie how do we portray mental illness and fetishize violence).

However to me none of these discussions make sense if focused on a single ship. Any of these discussions are only meaningful as part of a larger trend (ie is there too much media that excuses some sort of partner violence and how has that developed historically, how does media on the large portray systems of power, what are fascisty elements, where do they exist, why did they end up there and do we recognize them anf fall for them). Never on a shitty "Your ship is immoral, therefore you are immoral and should go away/stop shipping it" level.

Like I said, to me very few of those discussions feel genuine. Too much feels like either a very creepy wanting to enforce your will and wanting to enforce 100% of your opinions on others, forcing people to not just like what you like, believe what you believe, value what you value and hate what you hate, as good little robots who follow the perfect being. Or "I saw people have actual debates over meaningful concepts and I just want to steal this as a stick to beat my opponents with".

(and now that doesn't mean that you can never have genuine issues with canons or ships or fan behavior, I'm just saying the vast majority of "this ship is gross because" discourse feels extremely fake. If you dislike something, start by looking at yourself and being honest with yourself and examining why disliking a ship or disliking that a ship is liked by others might just be petty or highly subjective. If you see concrete individual behavior that bothers you, consider addressing that person directly in a non shitty manner, see if the conflict could be resolved, otherwise block, if you see some problematic behavior as part of a larger trend, make the effort to prove/show that trend but also examine how bad that trend really is larger context, what concrete real world ill do you see an what are the actual real world measures to address it)

Some of you need to hear this, but the fact that there is a parallel between Vander and Silco’s conflict and Vi and Jinx’s still doesn’t make Vander x Silco an incestuous pairing. When people corrected you by saying they’re not biologically related nor adopted brothers, you switched up to “the parallels to this actual sibling relationship make it incest” which is honestly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard against a romantic pairing within the tar pit that is shipping discourse.

Vander and Silco represent parental figures to Vi and Jinx respectfully. Of course their “children” will mirror themselves in some ways, but saying that makes Vander x Silco incestuous just because Vi and Jinx are siblings would be like calling the relationship between two parents incestuous just because one of their children turned out like one parent while the other turned out like the other parent. That is madness. Absolute madness to LEAP to that accusation for this pairing.

Some of you are suffering from such seriously high levels of shipping discourse brainrot to the point where you’ve moved the goalposts of “morally okay to ship” so far up you might as well be Evangelical Christians running a conversion therapy camp. You really need to learn to stop justifying your dislike for ships in the context of morality and admit to yourself that you can dislike things without needing a moral justification, otherwise your self righteousness makes you no different from the conservative bigots I grew up around.

[elizabethemerald]

Don't Sneak up on People with Swords

@im-totally-not-an-alien-2 made a prompt about Danny sneaking up on Jason Todd and @sky00asara made a comment in the tags about what would happen if Danny did that to Talia. So here is my version of that! Enjoy.

Talia al Ghul watched her beloved from afar. He was out, again patrolling his city for those he considered wrong doers. Her son was by his side. She scowled at how Damian’s fighting style had changed, softened in the company of her beloved. Despite her love for the man under the cowl, he had a tremendous ability to take even the most ruthless of killers and change them to spare the undeserving. He had even tried it with her. 

She was hidden on the roof of an abandoned tower nearby. The tower had succumbed to fire and was now condemned until the city got around to destroying it properly. For now it made the perfect place for her to observe her beloved and her son work undisturbed. 

“Excuse me?” 

Talia whirled, drawing her blade as she spun. Her blade moved fast enough to almost cut the air itself yet the small shape ducked under her stroke and back-pedaled quickly to move out her range. 

“Jeez! Why is everyone in this city so jumpy!” 

The voice more than anything made her realize that the person who had somehow snuck close enough was an actual child. Their black hair and blue eyes made her wonder if this was another of her beloved’s adoptees. Except surely this boy was too young to catch Bruce’s eye? 

“Well maybe you should not sneak up on people?” Talia hissed, her voice soft yet stern. To say nothing of how a child who couldn’t be older than five had snuck up on her at all. 

“Well maybe you shouldn’t brood on the roof of my home!” The child snarked back, just like one of the Bat’s brood would, completely unafraid of the blade still in her hand. Talia raised an eyebrow at him then looked around at the burnt skeleton of the building they were standing on. 

“This building is not fit for human occupation.”

“Neither was the last place I lived.” He said dismissively. “This place hasn’t even killed me yet, so it’s practically a paradise.” 

She was tempted to take the child’s words as sarcasm, yet something in the way he spoke made her think he meant it more truthfully. 

“You’ve died before?” Talia asked. She relaxed her hold on her blade, allowing it to rest at her side. 

“Oh yeah, I die all the time.” He said, then he looked at her curiously tilting his head first one way, then another. “You’ve died too, huh?” 

She nodded, now examining him closely, looking for the signs she would recognize. She could see the hint of a scar on the boy’s palm that might have caused a death. 

“What is it with this town that so many people have died and come back?” The boy asked, apparently rhetorically as he didn’t let her answer. “First the stabby Robin, then the stabby Batgirl, then Batman, and even Red Hood. It’s like everyone I run into is contaminated.” 

Talia’s eyes widened. 

“You can sense those who have utilized the Lazarus Pits?” She would have to inform her father about this child. He could put the entire League of Assassins at risk. The child before her just shrugged. 

“I have no idea what that is. Red Hood mentioned some kind of pit as well, but I’ve never seen anything like that. I just know y’all are contaminated with ectoplasm, though not enough to make a core.” 

“What is this… ectoplasm?” Another name for the Lazarus Waters? Had there perhaps been a Pit outside of League control? In the midwest somewhere based on the boy’s accent. 

“Oh it’s this stuff.” He held his hand out and Talia couldn’t help keep her expression of shock withdrawn despite all her training as his hand filled with the glowing green light of the Pits. He held the Pit Water in his hand then tossed the glowing orb to his other hand in a half juggle as if he weren’t carrying the League's greatest secret and weapon. 

Nevermind telling her father about this child, he could never learn of him. If Ras had the power this child had under his control the world would never survive. There was only one option. She needed to train this child to wield this strength. With the stealth he displayed in sneaking up on her and his power over the Pits themselves he could make an assassin like the world had never seen. He could be the next Head of the Demon under her guidance. She knelt down to the boy’s level, slipping her sword back away as she did so. 

“Tell me, young one. Are you living in this death trap of a building all by yourself?” 

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’ve got it taken care of. I know I’m little, but that just means people are less likely to notice me. I’m able to steal all the food I need from that big box store down the street.” 

“Oh of that I have no doubt. My name is Talia al Ghul. What’s yours?” 

“Hmm. I’m Danny.” The boy seemed hesitant to trust her, which to be perfectly honest was probably a very smart thing to do, but at least she had a name for this gift of Lazarus. 

“Danny, how would you like to come live with me? You won’t have to steal any more, or worry about food ever again, and I could train you how to fight even better than the Bats.” 

He narrowed his eyes at her, looking her over closely. 

“Would I get a sword?” 

“If a sword is what you want, then once you were trained in its use I would acquire one for you.”

Danny looked like he was about to nod, but then he froze, his head tilting to the side as if he was listening to something. His eyes widened and Talia tensed. 

“Uh-oh. Fruit Loop incoming. I gotta go.” 

Talia half turned as she heard the sound of one of her beloved’s grappling lines catching on the building’s edge. By the time she had turned back to face him, Danny had completely vanished. She hadn’t even heard him leave. She stood and scowled as her beloved landed on the rooftop next to her. 

“Talia.” He grunted at her, glaring all the while. 

“Beloved. Must you ruin every nice thing in my life?” Talia snarled back. The boy, Danny, had the gift of Lazarus at his beck and call and Batman had scared him off. 

Bruce looked momentarily stunned at her fury, but quickly hid it behind his mask. However Talia couldn’t care less about her beloved right now. She just needed to lose him so she could return to find the boy. The boy who would change the world with his power. 

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Please Don't Leave Me Like That Again

Arthur Leclerc x First Responder!Fem!Reader

A/N: this is based off a dream I had last night 🥲. ALSO I HIT 300+ FOLLOWERS!!!! THANK YOU!

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The ring of the bell above the diner door could be heard as Charles, Alex, Arthur and I walked in while we waited to be seated.

"Sit anywhere guys, I'll be right with you in a moment!" the nice teenager said as she was running food to a table.

Arthur grabbed my hand as he guided me to a booth before gesturing me in first

"Actually I'm going to run to the bathroom first, if she comes by to get drinks can you order me a (Favorite/drink) if they have it? If not, whatever you think I would like." I said as I placed a quick peck on his lips before heading to the women's restroom.

-

I'd only been gone five minutes but when I returned the table had 4 drinks and two baskets of mozzarella sticks. Sliding in the booth next to Arthur, I immediately picked up my drink taking a few sips before setting it back down on the table before looking over at my boyfriend only to find him staring at me with a smile plastered on his face.

"What? Do I have something on my face??" Panic overtook my body as I pulled out my phone and pulled up the camera to examine my face for any blemishes. Finding nothing, I looked back at him with an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Nothing, I just love you so much." He said as he swung an arm over my shoulder pulling me closer to him as he started littering my face in kisses.

"Aw, you guys are so cute." Alex said as she looked at us before turning her attention to Charles "Why don't you love me like that in public?"

"Mon Coeur, I try but when I do you get shy." He replied as he attempted to do the same, which caused her to giggle before pulling away and covering her face out of embarrassment. "See!" Charles exclaimed before chuckling to himself and picking up his drink to take a sip of it.

When the waitress came back over we gave her our orders, which she said would be out in just a few minutes before we all got back our respected conversations.

The food came out faster than we all thought and while all of us were conversing before something outside the window caught my eye, stopping me mid-sentence.

"What's wrong?" Arthur said as he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face

"That building, is it smoking?" I said as I pointed out of the window t

As we all took a closer look, we realized that there was black smoke coming out of the restaurant that was just a few buildings away from where we were.

"Oh my God, it is! We have to call 911!" Charles said as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket.

My first responder instincts kicked in which is what caused me to run out of the diner and towards the restaurant that was currently on fire without a second thought. My legs were taking me faster than my mind could comprehend and within a few seconds, I was outside the restaurant that normally would've been a 10 minute walk.

When I reached the restaurant I was out of breath but that was the least of my concerns as I was seeing people rushing out covering their faces as they all were coughing from the smoke inhalation. From a distance, I could wear the sirens of the firetrucks and ambulances but they were too far for me to just stop helping whoever I could before they got here to take over.

I saw a lady holding her kid as she made her way to the front door but collapsed from inhaling all the smoke while protecting her baby. Just as I was about to run in and grab her, a figure flew past me and in through the double doors of the restaurant and grabbed her. The fire eerily calmed down which I knew wasn't a good sign, I yelled at whoever ran in to get as low as possible because the fire was about to flash and I didn't want them getting burned after being heroic.

The sirens grew louder but that's not what caught my attention, what caught my attention was hearing the horrific scream of Charles calling out for his brother.

"ARTHUR!!!" That scream made my heart drop.

All of a sudden, I didn't care about my own well-being as the love of my life ran into an actual fire to save someones life and protect me from getting burned, or worse.

"CHARLES, DON'T TELL ME THAT WAS ARTHUR THAT RAN IN THERE!! PLEASE TELL ME THAT WASN'T ARTHUR!" I scream as I choked out a sob

Before Charles could respond, I saw about 10 People rushing out of the building.

"GUYS GET DOWN" I shouted as the fire flashed.

Another sob left my mouth as I didn't know if Arthur was among the 10 that managed to get out before the flash or if he was still in there. The fire engines and ambulances finally came around and they started getting the hoses set up as the paramedics started checking vitals and hooking people on oxygen.

Through my tear filled eyes, I could see a woman and her kid rushing out but there was no man with her. The paramedics took her to the side and I looked back in the restaurant where I watched her exit from. The sight I saw made another gut wrenching scream and sob escape my lips as I saw a body that resembled a males body on the ground.

"ARTHUR?? OH MY GOD PLEASE DON'T BE ARTHUR!" I screamed as I ran to the doors of the building that was still on fire.

I didn't make it far because a firefighter grabbed me "Ma'am, you cannot go in there! If you go off to the side and let us do our job, we will find who you're looking for" She seemed nice but I heard nothing she said.

All I could hear was the shattering of my as I tried not to imagine that body being Arthur's.

Before I could say anything, I felt somebody yank my body around and I was met with my boyfriend, his face covered in dark ash and smelled like smoke but I couldn't care less.

"ARTHUR!! OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" I screamed as I smashed my lips to his before I hugged him with so much force, I knocked the wind out of both of us.

"I'm sorry, I love you so much and I didn't want you to go in that fire" Arthur said as he kissed the top of my head, neither one of us breaking up the hug.

Looking up at him I couldn't help but frown a little bit "Baby, I do this all the time, I had this down unto the on duty first responders got here! You scared me!" I said as I pulled him to my lips again.

Part of me was scared that this was a figment of my imagination and that any given moment, he would disappear and I would be left with nothing.

"Please don't leave me like that again." I mumbled against his chest as we swayed side to side, relishing in the feeing of being in each other's arms.

"Yeah, don't scare me like that again" Charles said as he patted Arthurs shoulder "Next time, I will kill you myself." we all let out little chuckles before a paramedic came over to us

"Sorry to interrupt your moment but, sir I need to check your vitals." she said as she directed that last part to Arthur

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that part." As much as I didn't want to, we had to release the grip we had on each other.

I watched as Arthur followed the paramedic to the ambulance before turning back to Alex and Charles.

"You really do love my brother, don't you?" He asked with a sincere look in his eyes.

"So much, it hurts" I said as I was visibly still shaking.

"I'll pay for your wedding dress and venue" Was all Charles said as he pulled me into a tight hug.

-

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@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan

[a-d-nox]

aphrodite (1388) persona chart observations (part 2)

welcome to my mini valentine's series on the goddess of love and beauty - this month 4 observations will be released regarding the aphrodite persona chart! all observations are in reference solely to aphrodite persona charts. these observations are completely hypothetical. they are based on my (the those closest to me's) experiences with each aspect/ placement! please don't take everything i say as predestined, astrology is possible outcomes not guaranteed ones. this is just a starting place for when examining singular objects in an entire galaxy (these are not the only asteroids in affect for you). take what resonates and leave what doesn't!

♀ venus negatively aspecting anchises (1173) people tend to not flirt well? like its always over the top or not obvious at all

♀ venus-aphrodite (1388) people are very dominant in a room - they appear to be very comfortable in their skin, wear the perfect clothes for them, and tend to be confident in their skills surrounding charming others

♀ earth and fire mars people may be dominants, while air and water mars people are submissive; switches may have the mixture of these (see degree and sign)

♀ mars positively aspecting moon may indicate liking feminine qualities in a partner or liking a partner who is sensitive towards you and your needs

♀ mars-pluto people have REALLY high sex drives.

♀ people who can destroy a reputition with drama or gossip tend to have mars-mc or mars-pluto aspects

♀ mars-nn people with positive aspects may find they hook up with a lot of people, while negative aspects do not; they could be on a life journey to learn about levels of intimacy

♀ mars negatively aspecting poseidon (4341 / h47) people could lack authority/dominance in a relationship

♀ air and water jupiters are more likely to question their self-worth; especially, if aspecting the ruler of and/or being in the 8h and/or 12h

♀ water jupiters (this includes those with water degrees or aspects to the moon) tend to be the tate langdon of the chart group: "i would never let anybody or anything hurt you... i've never felt that way about anyone..."; your loyalty and promises run very deep into your person

♀ you may have great legs if you have sagittarius (9°, 21°) or capricorn (10°, 22º) jupiter

♀ jupiter-uranus people may experience fluctuations in their weight

♀ saturn negatively aspecting the moon may indicate feeling insecure over breast size; you could have been bullied for being "flat"

♀ people with saturn negatively aspecting the moon and/or venus tend to be the first ones who are ridiculed for betraying other feminines (could be through cheating, bullying, turning their back on them, not protecting them when they see injustice (i think of those social experiments where a guy takes a picture up a girl's skirt and then everyone around her just stands there without saying anything having seen the whole thing go down OR like serena joy holding down june in handmaid's tale), etc); the positive aspects tend to be the advocates and allies for women rights and justice

♀ saturn negatively aspecting venus and/or pluto could indicate shyness or insecurity over your yoni - i feel like these people are either like olivia from sex education where they think their yoni is ugly and/or they may be the type to cry / get stressed at the gynecologist's office because they feel ashamed or vulnerable in their chair

♀ saturn with negative aspects to mars, venus, and/or pluto may be in denial of their sexual preferences especially that of who their partner is or isn't (aka their character)

♀ saturn-neptune people tend to be comfortable naked, but i feel like there is slight over-awareness of clothing like a "does this look right on me?" type moments or "damn i should have worn a bra, i feel like everyone is looking at me" type deals

♀ saturn-pluto people either aren't satisfied with their sex life or they are rather kinky... or both

♀ saturn-aphrodite (1388) people may struggle with loving themselves or finding qualities they admire about themselves

♀ uranus-mc people are mass manipulators that can "brainwash" whole societies (steve jobs had a quintile between these two planets and now everyone is compelled to own his products - donald trump also has a quintile)

♀ uranus-hestia (46) people are often traditionalists who are opposed to divorce

♀ uranus-psyche (16) people could have some really twisted relationships in which no one knows who manipulated who

♀ pluto-poseidon (4341 / h47) people tend to be extremely lustful

♀ scorpio-influenced (8°, 20º) and/or neptune-pluto people can be super seductive and possibly are in the adult film industry

♀ cancer (4°, 16°, 28º) vertex and/or moon-vertex may indicate relationships with feminines or becoming a better person when emotional intimacy occurs in your relationships

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[dandelioncasey]

@listen-to-the-inner-walrus back again with the peer-review-worthy tags

it does still make me insane specifically how many queer people lovingly embrace astrology. I went to a poetry workshop yesterday that was genuinely quite good but also included an option to disclose astrology designations during introductions and so many people broke out some variation of "I'm a [x] sum but I have a [y] placement and it SHOWS" girl no it doesn't. that's meaningless correlation you completely invented the causation

[savannahsdeath]

heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3

ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??

writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞

it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.

either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.

the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.

that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.

suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"

she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.

you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.

you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.

you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.

what if she sees me the way i see myself?

your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.

"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.

you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.

pretty.

girl.

those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.

"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.

she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.

you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.

"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.

you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.

it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."

she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.

she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.

ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.

as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"

"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."

with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.

a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.

what am i doing?

ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.

but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.

"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.

you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.

you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.

[mumms-the-word]

in honor of that one post I can’t find for the life of me that’s like “not Gale with Tav but Gale with the Blackstaff librarian” please have this snippet of a thing I will never finish you’re welcome

Gale x fem!OC, no tags, just two academics being snarky with each other

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

When Gale approached the library, he found his way blocked by several—no, many whispering students and annoyed-looking professors all blocking the way. They were pressed as far as possible in tight packs around an open doorway, the library visible beyond, but not a single one would go inside.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, looking at one of the students he recognized.

“Oh! Professor Dekarios, it’s the new librarian. She just arrived today and she’s not letting anyone into the library.”

“No one? That seems a bit antithetical to the point of a library, don’t you think?”

“She says she’s reorganizing,” another student broke in, looking delighted by the chaos. “She’s already thrown out anyone who crosses the threshold and is threatening to seal the doors if anyone else enters to disturb her.”

“Is that so,” Gale said, raising his eyebrows. She sounded horrible. He couldn’t help but picture a matronly old woman, set in her ways, her hair in a strict and severe bun of gunmetal gray, jowls nearly to her shoulders. “Well, allow me to have a word with her.”

His announcement, though spoken at regular volume, sent a wave of tittering and excited whispers over his students. He ignored them as he waded between them to get nearer the door. One of the other professors saw him coming and quickly arranged the students around the door to get out of his way.

“You’ll not get through to her, you know,” his colleague warned. “She’s on a rampage in there and she seems to have focused all her magical study to the art of marching people directly out of her space.”

“Then I’ll try to be diplomatic and charming,” Gale said, a spark of his old hubris coloring his smile. He stepped over the threshold and into the library.

It was utter chaos, for lack of a better word. Nearly every shelf was empty of books, completely bare, while mage hands with dusters and cloths were busy dusting and cleaning the centuries-old wood. The books themselves were arranged in stacks of no real order or sense, some just three books high but many others towering as nearly as high as the first landing of the four-story room. Solitary books flew through the air at random intervals, coming to rest on top of one stack or another. The towering busts and statues of previous Blackstaffs and other wizards of note were also being thoroughly cleaned, though their bases also served to collect all the furniture in the room, apparently, save for the tables that were all but groaning under the weight of stacks of tomes. Gale had never seen the library in such a state of disarray.

No sign of the enigmatic librarian, though. He ventured further inside, glancing here and there to try and find her, again picturing the strict, no-nonsense older woman with a face like thunder.

At last he found a younger woman floating midway up a three-story set of shelves, her open robes billowing gently as her flying spell kept her aloft, her trousers tucked into her knee-length boots. She pulled a book from the shelf and turned it to examine the title on the spine, and then opened it to the first several pages.

“Excuse me,” he said, “I’m looking for the new librarian?”

She sighed and snapped the book shut with one hand, turning to peer down at him with a frown. “Yes?”

“The new librarian. Is she about?”

She looked at him as though he were being willfully deaf. “She’s floating approximately three feet and seven inches above your head, saer. Can I help you or are you simply here to complain about my methods like everyone else that has made it past those doors today?”

Gale blinked. “You? But I thought—”

“Did you need something, Professor?” she asked, cutting him off. “I’m assuming you’re a professor and not a student, since you’re wearing the academic stole and all that. Is there a book you require?”

A quick flash of irritation passed through him at being interrupted, but he quelled it. He’d traveled with more abrasive people in the past, he reminded himself, who were also prone to interrupt.

“Not one in particular,” he said. “I’m here to discover…well whatever it is you’re doing in here.”

“Whatever it is I’m—Oghma guide me,” she muttered. She sent the book floating away with a flick of her wrist and lowered herself to stand in front of him. “I am cataloguing. What does it look like?”

Gale paused. Now that she was properly before him, he couldn’t help but notice that she was rather lovely. And young, for someone put in charge of the entire library of Blackstaff Academy. She was several inches shorter than him, but that didn’t stop her from frowning up at him behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched on her nose, her dark hair swept up into a mass of tight curls at the back of her head. Little curls were escaping here and there to frame her face or trail down her neck, but she didn’t seem to notice. Behind her glasses, her eyes were a curious shade of green and gold, the color changing slightly as she shifted her weight and a soft shadow from one of the shelves fell over her. The rest of her was still bathed in the warm light of early afternoon, a shade that complimented her dark olive skin.

She looked particularly irritated now and Gale realized he had been staring, rather than answering her question.

“I, um…” He quickly tried to recall her answer, and as he did, it struck him how ludicrous it was. “Sorry. Cataloguing?”

“Yes.”

“This library was already catalogued. Thoroughly.”

“Correction,” she said, turning to pick up two books from a stack and glance at their titles. She sent them floating away in different directions. “This library was already poorly catalogued. I’m cataloguing it properly.”

She walked away, moving to another set of shelves that she hadn’t yet touched. Gale followed after her, speaking as he went.

“With all due respect, it looks as though you’re doing a great deal of unnecessary shifting around. The current system has served us well enough these past, oh I don’t know, three or four hundred years or more. There’s no reason to change a system that works.”

“So I’m to believe we should just let old systems lie rather than improve them with new ones?” she asked, tucking a few books into her arms. “Come now, saer, that goes against the very spirit of academic and magical progress. And you call yourself a professor?”

“I am a professor,” he said, irritable. ���Professor Dekarios. And I have enough sense to know that Mordenkainen’s Magical Theory Across the Twin Worlds goes in the M section.” Here he grabbed a book from the shelf right before she could collect it, holding it up as if it were proof.

“In the old system, perhaps,” she said, snatching it from his hands. “But in this new system it will go under section 300, subsection 20, sub-subsection 4 point 17 for non-practical magical theory from authors located outside the realm of Toril—”

Gale’s jaw dropped. “Non-practical? How—”

“—and I’ll thank you to cease disturbing me so I can put it in its proper place,” she finished with a huff, blowing some of her curls from her forehead. She sent the book away, arcing it high over his head so he couldn’t make another grab at it.

“Now see here,” he said, struggling to remain diplomatic.

“No, Professor Dekarios, you see here,” she said, bowing up and shifting her books to one arm to poke a finger in his chest. “Blackstaff Varja has tasked me with the revitalization and re-categorization of this library, a job I take very seriously, and I won’t have pompous, big-headed wizards swanning about telling me how to do my job!”

Gale could barely get the words out. “Pompous? Big-headed? Madam, you—”

“If you require a specific tome to study, by all means, let me know so that I can locate it for you, but if your business is simply to bother and berate me then I’ll be forced to eject you from the premises.”

“Eject me? You wouldn’t dare.”

“You wouldn’t be the first, I assure you,” she said, her eyes flashing.

He shook his head, irritation warring with something like awe in the face of her ability to be unrelentingly annoying. “You are—infuriating. How will the students and faculty here get any study done if all the books—” he pulled another one from the shelf, using it to gesture, “—are in the wrong places?”

“They will learn,” she snapped, reaching for the book, but he held it high overhead, just out of her reach. She nearly crashed into him, nose-to-chest, reaching for it. She quickly stepped back with another huff. “Return The Many Multiple Uses of Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion to me at once.”

“Only if you put it back in the M section,” he said, keeping it aloft. “Where it belongs with the other Mordenkainen works.”

“But Mordenkainen didn’t write—oh for Oghma’s sake.” She slammed her armful of books down on a new stack and snapped her fingers, whispering a spell he didn’t catch. The book tugged away from his hand. Surprised, he let it go, and it flew directly into her waiting arms.

“I think that’s quite enough library time for you, Professor Dekarios,” she said sharply, hugging the book to her chest. “You are to be banned from this library for the remainder of the evening. Good day, saer.”

“You can’t—”

But apparently she could. All of a sudden he felt the back of his robes pull taught, as if an unseen hand were grabbing his robes like a tressym might grab the scruff of their kitten’s neck. The force pulled upward, nearly lifting him off his feet, and he was forced to take several awkward steps away, back toward the entrance of the library.

“I—you—unhand me!” He struggled against the hold as was about to cast something to dispel the magic when he felt something suspiciously like an invisible boot give him a kick on the arse. “Hey!”

“Good day, Professor Dekarios,” he heard her say behind him.

He was forcibly pushed out through the open doorway, nearly falling over into the waiting crowd of wide-eyed students. He adjusted his robes in a hurry, ready to march back in there and try again, but the library doors shut with a loud bang and soon the magical sigils to an arcane lock illuminated the surface.

No one would be getting inside now.

There was a hush behind him as he stared at the library doors, hot embarrassment turning his ears pink while his pride, unable to suffer total defeat, looked for ways to make light of the situation or diffuse it. After a moment, someone started to snicker and it caused the entire waiting audience to struggle to hold in their delighted snickers and giggles.

“Well,” one of his colleagues said, folding their arms, but Gale held up a hand with a sigh.

“Don’t,” he said. “The mortification speaks for itself.”

“If it makes you feel better, you’re the sixth faculty member she’s done that to today,” they said, unable to withhold a chuckle. “Though out of all of them, you’ve lasted the longest.”

“And we’re to endure her being our new librarian?” Gale asked, as other professors began to shepherd away the students, reminding them of their homework and studies. “Is it too early to consider a new teaching placement?”

His colleague just laughed and walked away. Gale was left standing in the hallway, watching the arcane lock sigils glow and glimmer against the wood of the door.

He wanted to be angry, even offended. The entire re-categorization of a library as old and complex as Blackstaff Academy’s would spell chaos and slow down every pursuit of study for months. But as he watched the sigils, as his minds eye placed him back among the stacks of books and empty shelves, his memory lingering on one dark curl resting against the curve of the librarian’s olive-toned neck, another bouncing at her temple, he realized he wasn’t exactly angry or offended.

He was intrigued.

[geovanag]

Composite Chart (basic information) #1 🪐

The Composite chart describes the character of the relationship between two people. Although it seems very complicated, it is more understandable for those like me who can interpret the Birth Chart at a basic level (maybe more advanced level).

Just as when you first open the birth chart, you look at which sign and which house the planets are in and you can make basic interpretations with it, you can apply the same process to the composite chart. Only while interpreting this chart, the subject will change and two people will become "us".

You can get this chart from free charting sites like astro.com and astro.seek, but you need to be sure of the "birth time" of both people.

In my opinion, Sun, Moon, Venus, Venus, Mercury, Mars and Ascendant are really important in the composite chart.

🪐Sun represents the man in the relationship and the identity of the relationship.

🪐I have read on many blogs and other websites that the Moon represents the woman in the relationship. It also describes the situation of the couple at home and of course the emotional state.

🪐 Mercury represents how and in what form the communication in the relationship is.

🪐 Venus is the state of flirtation and affection between the two partners (in which cases it is restricted or the influence is fluid),

🪐 Mars, I will examine this couple to talk about their sexuality and the situations in which they act together.

When we analyze the other planets (Saturn, Jupiter, Pluto, Uranus, Neptune), I think that their positions in the chart and some aspects are important in general, without getting too hung up on the signs. Now I will talk about what the houses mean.

1st house -> describes how the couple looks from the outside when they are with each other (physically) How do people around know this couple? What activity do they usually see them doing?

2nd house -> Informs us about how the partners value each other and what their material gains will be.

3rd house -> This house in the natal chart, which covers relations with relatives, friends and siblings in general, I realized that the composite chart, based on my observations, mostly gives information about friendships.

4th house -> The dialogues you have with each other in your shared home, the way you feel when you are together and who is more dominant and in control at home.

5th house -> Hobbies, dating, children… yes this house really gives information about all the subjects it represents.

6th house -> This house, where we can get information about health issues, I think it is quite ineffective in my observations. Unless the planets placed here are very strong in aspects (such as square and opposite), the effect on the chart is very uncertain.

7th house -> While giving information about the process leading to marriage (such as engagement), interestingly I noticed that in case of a possible breakup in the relationship, it can be analyzed quite well as to who would want to leave.

8th house -> It gives information about crisis situations. Of course it also gives information about sexuality.

9th house -> I have observed that couples with planets influential here often plan a nice trip to go on vacation in their relationship, as well as studying together in higher education. Imagine that both people are professors at a university.

10th house -> similar to the first house will give information about how people see the couple.

11th house -> Shows how your relationship fits into your social environment.

12th house -> I have witnessed that this house, which overshadows even the most beautiful indicators, works negatively in the composite chart. Things that are hidden, things that are hidden from the other person are located in this house. It is not long term. Disappointment and tears are here.

In the next post I will talk about what the ascendant means in signs. And then, the sun in signs, the moon in signs, mercury in signs, venus in signs and mars in signs… We will learn together not only sign but also which houses are. And in one of the articles of this series, there will be articles in which we make observations by analyzing sample composite charts.

Share your comments and curiosities with me and let's think together.

Take care,, 🌬🤎

[circle-with-me]

Legs - Jesse Cash x Reader

Pairing: Jesse Cash x Reader

Content Warning/Tags: 18+ MDNI! vaginal fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, mild possessiveness, car sex, mentions of mental illness and self-destructive behavior, hurt/comfort, and some fluff at the end.

Word Count: 2.4k

Tag list: @concretenoah @deathblacksmoke @cncohshit @foliosriot @sacredthefran

If you would like to be added to my tag list for Jesse or my other fics, please sign up here.

Author's Note: Not too long ago, @cncohshit and I were discussing how few fics there are about sweet Jesse. So, I decided I'd write up a little something. This is loosely based on Ghost Atlas' song Legs. Thank you as always to @deathblacksmoke for being my wonderful beta reader <3

dividers by @cafekitsune

The rain pours outside as you sit in your car. Heavy droplets pelt the roof of the vehicle. Even with your headlights on you couldn’t see more than two feet in front of you. The sound of the rain was so loud you could barely make out the song playing on the radio.

The World At Large - Modest Mouse, the screen read. Fitting, you think. 

You check your phone for the fourth, maybe fifth time in as many minutes. The text message you sent had been read but went unanswered. There were still no lights on in the house except for the glow of the red LED’s in his room. Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe he’d finally had enough.

It’s not like you could blame him.

Almost as if he read your mind, he appears in the headlights dashing towards your car. Quickly unlocking the door you let him in. He runs a hand through his damp mess of curls trying to catch his breath. He looks over at you and you forget how to breathe for a moment, his wide brown eyes staring into yours. 

“Hi, Jesse.” You say meekly. 

“You could have come inside, Y/N.” He states, giving you a quick once over. 

You shake your head, gently pushing his hand away when it comes up to examine your face. 

“It’s not a good idea, Jesse.”

Your legs twitch with need and you run your hands on top of your thighs to relax them. You can feel his gaze burning into your skin. It’s not a good idea to go inside. All of your self-restraint will go out of the window the second you step inside his home and you’re not here for that. 

You need him, but not in the way you normally do. Jesse is the only person you feel safe with. He’s the only person who can make you feel anything outside of sex. You’re a broken person. Full of spite and hatred for the world and you take it out on others. You use people to your benefit and abandon them without explanation. 

Unfortunately, Jesse has been a victim of your lies and self-destructive behavior more times than you care to admit. Every time he starts to get attached you panic and leave. For some reason, he always gives you another chance when you come crawling back to him.

Over the time you’ve known each other, you’ve come to realize that Jesse is in love with you. He has to be. No sane person would put up with your bullshit the way he does. But still, you can see the light in his eyes fading every time you leave. Even when you come back there’s an air of tension between the two of you, almost as if he’s dying to ask the question of “How long will you stay this time?”

“What have they done now, darling?” Jesse asks quietly, taking your hand in his. You lean your head against the headrest and close your eyes, knowing that if you looked at him the floodgates would open. 

He rubs the back of your hand with his thumb and squeezes it gently. It’s not a demand but a reminder that he’s there, ready and willing to listen. The gesture is so remarkably kind but you know you don’t deserve it. You feel your chest tighten and your eyes well up with tears.

“Nothing I didn't have coming to me.” You decide to leave it at that. 

You watch as Jesse studies you for a minute. It’s obvious there are a million things he wants to say but he chooses not to due to the fragility of the situation.  

“Why don’t you come inside? We’ll get you warm and dry. I can fix you something to eat.” He pauses. “Have you eaten today?” 

You shake your head. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you weren’t sure the last time you had a decent meal. Your brain and body have been running at 90 mph and food has been the last thing on your mind.

Jesse hums a sound of disapproval and pats your thigh. The entirety of your body tenses at his touch and he pulls his hand away immediately afraid he has crossed a line. The two of you stare at each other for a long time unsure of what to say before you abandon what restraint you have left and grab his hand. 

You place it on your inner thigh, much higher than it was previously. Jesse audibly gulps and squeezes the flesh experimentally. It’s endearing to you how he always gets nervous like it’s your first time together. Leaning forward, you grab his face to kiss him, parting his lips with your tongue. 

He sighs into your mouth, gathering the courage to push his hand under your dress. His index finger dips into the top of your thigh high stockings, running along the lace edge. He groans and shoves his tongue in your mouth, his free hand gripping the back of your head. 

“You know how much I love these, darling.” Jesse murmurs, kissing along your jaw. He snaps the band of the tights against your skin and goosebumps pop up, making you shiver. You feel him smile against your neck before grazing his teeth against the skin.

Jesse places his hand on your pussy, massaging you through your already damp panties. You arch into his touch and he wraps his arm around your waist. An unspoken request is made when he presses his arm into your back, guiding you towards him. 

Taking the hint, you crawl over the center console and he pulls you into his lap. His grip is bruising as he drags your hips against his hardened erection. The coarse denim of his jeans provides a satisfying friction that sends electricity through your body.

Jesse reaches down to lower the car seat a little so he can lean back. You follow him, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. He pushes his hands up your dress, his calloused hands softly scratching your back. You hum at his soothing touch. He moves to unhook your bra but you feel his hands shake a little. 

“Are you okay?” You speak, carding your fingers through his hair. He nods but doesn’t make eye contact; the nervousness from earlier returning twice over. After you brush your fingers across his forehead he finally looks at you. 

“You’re breathtaking, Y/N.” Jesse speaks so softly the rain pounding on the roof of the car nearly drowns him out. All you can focus on are his lips as they part; the way his tongue dances behind them. When he asks you to remove your dress, you’re achingly willing. 

Jesse watches you undress before him, completely entranced by your body. Regardless of how often he’s seen your form, he pores over you as if you were the finest sculpture he has ever laid eyes on. He skims his hands across the expanse of your thighs and upwards, twisting the fabric of your panties around his fingers. 

He places gentle kisses to your collarbones, your neck, the junction between your breasts. Jesse Cash is not a man that can be rushed, and you wouldn’t dare try to anyway. Each press of his soft lips against your skin heals a part of you that has been burning alive inside of you for ages. 

He leans you back against the dash, one hand supporting your back and the other coming to your chest. Running his hand down the length of your torso, he slips his fingers through the waistband of your panties. A shuddered breath escapes him and he curses when he dips a finger inside of you, feeling how soaked you are. 

“Tell me, honey.” He coos, not wasting any time finding the sweet spongy spot inside of you. “Do the others make you this wet or is it just me?” 

The sudden flash of possessiveness in Jesse’s eyes catches you off guard. You squirm under his gaze, not because you’re uncomfortable, but because you’re wildly turned on by it.

“Only you.” You moan, grabbing onto his thigh for support. Jesse grins and adds another finger. You dig your nails into the denim of his jeans as he picks up the pace, your vision already beginning to go white. The filthy wet sounds made as he pleasures you can be heard even over the rain. 

Just as you feel yourself reaching your peak, he halts his movements, eliciting a pitiful whimper from you. He removes his fingers completely, dragging it up your slit collecting more of your juices. 

“Open up.”

Your mouth falls open so quickly it makes Jesse chuckle. He places his fingers on your tongue and you close your lips around it sucking and savoring the flavor of your own arousal. 

Jesse watches you intently; his mouth slack-jawed and eyes trained on your mouth. When you moan around his fingers, he moans back bucking his hips slightly. You feel his cock pressing into your bare pussy and you’re scrambling for his belt, desperate for him.

He helps you shove his pants down, hissing when you take his leaking cock into your hand. As hurried as you were, you sigh in relief the moment he’s inside of you. You set a slow pace, dragging your pussy up his length until you feel just the tip and sinking back down again. Jesse lays back against the car seat, his nails digging crescent shapes into your thighs.

You move like I want to. 

To see, like your eyes do.

The whispered vocals on the hauntingly beautiful track make the moment even more intimate. You pick up the pace a little to match the tempo of the song, your movements causing Jesse to arch his back, moaning loudly. He observes as you move on top of him, chest heaving from breathing so hard. Somehow, his brown eyes grow even darker 

Jesse wraps his hand around the back of your neck, gently but firmly pulling your mouth to his. He snakes his other arm around your waist, thrusting into you at a brutal pace. In this moment, you’re thankful for the deluge outside otherwise your cries of pleasure and pleas not to stop would get the two of you caught in an instant. 

You rake your fingernails through his scalp, tugging at the damp curls. Jesse grunts into your neck, grasping your waist tighter and thrusting into you harder. You slam your hand against the car window for extra support, a distorted hand print forming in the condensation. 

“Jesse, please don’t stop.” You whimper. He shakes his head fervently, refusing to leave the spot between your neck and shoulder that he’s claimed. 

“Never.”

Grasping onto his shirt and pulling it off of him, you reattach yourself to him immediately. Your skin is on fire but you’re desperate to be closer to him, to feel all of him. 

Tonight I feel like more. 

Chino’s voice bellows through the speakers. While the lyrics are nefarious in nature, the line resonates with you in a different way. 

It’s never been a question that you care deeply for the man underneath you. It’s not his fault you have a fear of abandonment. You’ve told yourself that’s all it was, but the truth is you have never felt good enough for him. His integrity and pure heart intimidates you. His ability to see through your lies and still love you anyway scares you to death.

Your orgasm builds with the swell of the music. You allow the pleasure to consume your entire body, the toe curling, stomach tightening, finger gripping sensation overwhelming you. 

The music becomes muffled in your ears when Jesse calls out your name. Opening your eyes, all you can see is him. Tunnel vision has never been more blissful than this. The moonlight illuminates his face and he stares at you with the same entranced look from earlier. It’s evident that you’re all he can see too.

The coil in your stomach snaps, sending shockwaves through your entire body. You grasp onto his knees tighter to keep yourself up right, bucking your hips on his cock chasing your high. He lets out a low groan, his stomach muscles growing taut and cock twitching inside of you. 

I feel like more. 

And you do. 

You feel more alive than you ever have. The numbness in your soul has vanished and there’s nothing but him and you want more. 

The euphoria that creeps up inside of you when you both orgasm at the same time is all-consuming and you hope he feels it too. One wave of pleasure after the other radiates through every muscle in your body, making you quiver relentlessly. You feel Jesse’s legs shaking underneath you, strangled groans erupting from him as he spills inside of you. 

Jesse opens your car door and grabs your hand, the two of you sprinting towards his house. By the time you make it to his front door, you’re both soaked and laughing uncontrollably. Once inside, he leads you to his room to find dry clothes. You peel off your soaked ones and hang them in the bathroom to dry. When Jesse comes in with new clothes, you take them graciously, shivering from the rain.

You sit on the counter towel drying your hair as you watch him change. He turns around, catching you staring and he smiles at you. You curl your finger at him, motioning for him to come to you. He stands between your legs, his hands resting on top of your thighs. 

Placing the towel on top of his head, you rub it vigorously against his hair to get the excess water out. When you pull the towel down and around his neck you can’t help but giggle at how frizzy his hair looks. He leans to the side to see what’s so funny, laughing when he sees himself. You plant a kiss on his cheek and he looks over at you, a soft smile on his lips. He kisses you, holding your chin softly between his fingers. There’s no urgency behind it. He’s simply savoring every second he has with you. 

“Stay tonight?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jesse.” 

He sighs contentedly, enveloping your face in his hands.  

“Tell me you mean that, Y/N.” 

This time, more than anything, you hope you do.

[wromwood]

I went to NYCC this weekend for two days: Thursday and Friday. It was a fun time, and I'm so glad I went, but I thought I'd share my negative experiences from the reason why I went on Thursday, and how it could've easily become a con-ruiner if there weren't a few silver linings.

Click on the Read More if you want to hear about the Alex Hirsch signings and panel, and how NYCC made the events near-total disasters.

Warning: This story is long, but that's because its poor handling can't be condensed to a bite-sized retelling.

So, I wasn't always planning on attending NYCC on Thursday. Since all the Saturday and 4-day passes sell out before the general public even has a chance to buy them, I swooped for what I assumed was the next best day: Friday. One-day tickets are about $80 each, and once you combine those costs with both my potential cosplay and exhibit hall/artist alley shopping expenses, you can see why I wasn't originally planning to go for another day.

However, near the beginning of October, NYCC made a last minute announcement that Alex Hirsch would be at NYCC on Thursday and Friday. He would have signings on Thursday and Friday, and a panel on Thursday evening. I've never seen Alex Hirsch in person before, so this (and an NYCC-based costume contest held by Hirsch and announced only a few days after the main event announcements) was enough to make me buy an additional Thursday ticket.

Now, before I explain what happened during Hirsch's NYCC events, I want to clearly establish what information fans knew about them beforehand:

Every event involved Alex Hirsch, Joe Pitt, and Ian Worrel.

The signings were specifically for The Book of Bill. You had to have a copy of The Book of Bill to get a spot in the signing, which you could either bring yourself or purchase from the Barnes & Noble booth that would be set up nearby. You could also bring one additional item for signing.

Both signings were free and first come, first serve. They did not require any sort of prior purchase or reservation.

The panel on Thursday evening also did not require any sort of extra ticket purchase or reservation. (Reservations are only available to Empire or Main Stage panels; the Alex Hirsch panel was in one of the 400-level rooms.)

If you're thinking that this seems like too little information for something that could easily get chaotic in the wrong hands, then great! That's what I thought myself when I examined every event listing for any scrap of detail with which to prepare myself. Alex Hirsch is the creator of one of the most beloved modern Disney cartoons, and his fanbase had only increased and been given new life after the publication of his new book. And yet there was no way to reserve a spot in his two signings? I only hoped that NYCC knew what they were doing.

Thursday arrived, and so did I at the Javits Center in my Bipper cosplay. I arrived at around 11:30 AM, and the Thursday signing was at 3 PM, so I spent a couple of hours walking around the show floor, buying expensive One Piece merch, and taking pictures with the Duolingo owl. I headed down to line up for the signing at 2 PM, thinking that being there an hour in advance would be enough to secure a spot.

... No, it wasn't.

I arrived at Hall 1A to an in-progress mob of Gravity Falls cosplayers. There were Bills, Dippers, Mabels, Fords, and Grunkle Stans as far as the eye can see, and nearly everyone was holding copies of The Book of Bill. I spotted an AMAZING cosplayer who was dressed as a member of the Church of Ciphertology and holding up a huge foam puppet of Bill. The puppet had ropes connecting its arms with hers so that it looked like she was being puppeted by it. She had been standing by the wall outside the hall, but was now moving into it, and I followed her raised Bill puppet like a guiding beacon.

I was soon in the middle of a sea of costumed people. There wasn't even a semblance of a line here, at least not this far back. Fortunately, we were mostly all nice and united in our love for Gravity Falls, so I didn't experience any pushing or shoving. In fact, I even struck up a lovely conversation with the people in front of me.

Unfortunately, all of us were united in another experience: we had all been caught off-guard at how disastrous this event was turning out.

Most of us had followed the same plan that I had developed: arrive an hour early to get a spot in line. Some of us had been more careful. I later learned from the Ciphertology disciple that she had arrived closer to noon, but had been warned by security that she couldn't actually line up for this event. Lining up would only occur an hour before the signing, at 2 PM. That was why she had been next to the wall when I arrived. She had more right to be at the front than I did, and yet she was only a few feet ahead of me when we entered the mob.

While I didn't interview many other attendees, we quickly formed the hypothesis that this "no lining up before 2 PM" rule was why the mob had formed. Everyone - both the people who had arrived earlier and the newcomers who thought 1 hour was "early" - had rushed to form a line that the NYCC crew members just couldn't create.

We waited there for about 15-20 minutes. Occasionally, a crew member yelled for us to take a big step back (only some of the mob complied) and sometimes we were asked to all raise our copies of The Book of Bill in the air (for a photo? to check who was eligible for the signing? I'm still unsure).

Finally, at around 2:30 PM, we heard a crew member shout, "All right! We've run out of tickets for the signing! The rest of you have to leave!"

This was the wrong phrasing for them to use, because immediately, a number of fans started shouting things along the lines of "What do you MEAN tickets?!" "No one told us we had to have tickets!!!" "How do we get tickets?!"

Because there were only so few NYCC crew members on the floor, the announcement was mostly spread through word of mouth: a number of people at the front of the mob had been given "tickets" (wristbands?) so that they could line up for the signing. They didn't even get close to my part of the mob before they ran out of spots.

I, and so many other people, had to walk away disappointed, hoping that we could at least get into the panel later.

Before I left, I said this to three different NYCC crew members: "Hey, I know that there's another signing tomorrow, and I also have a pass for tomorrow. What should I do so that I don't miss this event?"

Every response I got was a variation on the phrase "I don't know." This is important to remember. I tried my best to learn what to do ahead of time by asking NYCC employees.

Anyway, later that evening was the Alex Hirsch panel at 6:30 PM. After the disappointment from the signing, though, I didn't want to take any chances. After spending an hour for lunch, I headed to the location for the panel at 3:30 PM, 3 hours ahead of time. I saw a NYCC crew member and asked when and where I should wait for the panel to start.

His paraphrased advice: "Listen. There's the room where the panel will be. You take a seat in there now and sit through three panels. That's how you'll have a seat later."

This may sound like cheating, and an unfair thing to do when you consider the people who may actually want to attend the panels before the one you're camping out for, but it wasn't against the rules. Only the Main and Empire stages require the rooms to be turned out for new people between panels. For the other panel rooms, you can camp out in your seat for as long as you want.

So, I followed his advice. I walked to room 406.3 in the middle of a panel about censoring non-fiction comics and found an empty seat.

I was shocked to see just how small the room was. According to the NYCC website, the room can seat about 300 people. That may sound like a lot, until you remember that 1) this is NYCC, which had 200,000 attendees last year, and 2) THIS PANEL IS FOR ALEX HIRSCH. I couldn't help but think of the mob I saw earlier, and just how many of those people wouldn't be able to fit into this room.

When I sat down during the censorship panel, the room was only about half full, and I saw two other Gravity Falls cosplayers already. After that panel, I walked to the front and took a seat in the third row (later, I even managed to move up to the second row, so I had a very good view).

An hour later (about 4:30 PM), the room was almost entirely full with a crowd that was almost entirely Gravity Falls fans. An hour after that (5:30 PM), the room was absolutely full, and we had already gotten word (and pictures) from people on the outside that there was a line of hopeful latecomers stretching around the floor.

One odd memory I have from around this point was when a woman showed up at the front of the room and addressed a bunch of us in general, saying "Hi, I'm from Disney. Are there six seats that I can have?"

All of the people near her (including myself) shot her looks and muttered replies along the lines of "Hell, no." She didn't further explain what she meant or provide any credentials, so I have no idea why she expected to get so many seats at once or what she needed them for.

I'll skip past the rest of the evening, as the panel was largely a nice time after that. I sat next to some really kind, awesome people who were great to talk to and share art with between panels, Alex Hirsch (as well as Joe Pitt and Ian Worrel, of course!) shared great stories, and I got to witness the awesome Ciphertologist cosplayer win a Bill Cipher Ouija board. It was a nice way to make up for missing the signing earlier, and I'm glad I was able to attend.

... and yet, not only did I still feel a sting of guilt about the hundreds of other fans who couldn't attend, but I couldn't stop thinking about something I discussed with the other fans I sat with: even the lucky fans who attended the panel were only able to do so because we spent hours of our con-going experience sitting through panels we wouldn't have otherwise chosen to attend. The panels were interesting in their own right, but that wasn't the point.

It's not cheap to attend NYCC. At around $80 a day (if you didn't buy a 4-day pass), time is money. There could be other panels that pertain to our interests happening during the waiting time. Guests that we might've wanted to get photos or autographs with. An entire show floor to explore. Merch to buy. Many of us only realized that we'd have to wait this long in one room earlier that day. We hadn't properly prepared for the fact that - new friendships and fun between-panel conversations aside - this time was practically wasted.

Don't get me wrong: I'm so happy I managed to attend the panel, and I'm glad I had the time to talk to such lovely people. But this wasn't fair to us as con-goers, and it especially wasn't fair to the con-goers who couldn't get in the signing OR the panel, or who were only able to get a ticket for Thursday and couldn't spend more time doing what they wanted at the convention on another day.

Speaking of the next day: I was determined to get a personalized signing from Alex Hirsch on Friday. That day, the signing started at 1:30 PM. Keeping the "no lining up before an hour ahead" rule in mind, I decided I'd arrive two hours before at 11:30 PM. Not far enough in advance to absolutely antagonize security, but hopefully far enough to scope out the scene and join other fans in making a game-plan for when and how to line up.

I arrived at Hall 1A at 11:30 only to learn that the signing tickets (which were now confirmed to be wristbands) had LONG since run out.

From what I gathered from other fans and NYCC crew members, the convention decided that the first come, first serve model would begin from the moment the convention opened that day (I think 10 AM?). Gravity Falls fans could stop by and get wrist bands for the signing until they ran out, which they did QUICKLY. Apparently, they gave out even fewer spots than on Thursday.

I definitely feel that the issue here wasn't me not thinking of getting there right as the doors opened. The fans were given one set of rules on Thursday, and just as it had been spread through word of mouth, they were changed the next day with basically no notice (apparently, some fans heard more info from staff members, but this was irregular). There was no formal announcement about the new wristband distribution, which meant there was no way for fans to know about this unless they showed up as early as possible, which was established to be a bad thing for the signing just the day before. And this is on top of me asking NYCC employees what I should do to not miss my chance at a signing! Either they changed the rules last minute, or the NYCC workers I spoke to really weren't told a thing by the convention planners.

I, and many other people, were rightfully pissed off to lose our last chance at getting a personalized autograph from Alex Hirsch.

There was one silver lining, though, that kept the day from feeling ruined. The signing was scheduled to go from 1:30-3:00. At 2:30, I decided to head to the signing just to wistfully stare at Alex Hirsch from the Barnes & Noble booth. I had a good view and stared wistfully away next to a few other fans who had hoped (in vain) that extra people could be squeezed in for the signing.

Then, after everyone with wristbands got their books signed and about 5-10 minutes before the signing was totally over, Hirsch, Pitt, and Worrel were handed a couple stacks of The Book of Bill from the Barnes & Noble booth. They quickly signed the stacks, then left.

To our delight, the employees came over to the lingering fans who weren't able to get wristbands and started passing out the copies. So I did end Friday with a signed copy of The Book of Bill! I also got a couple of sticker sheets that were being given out during the signing, which is nice. The waiting around was worth it.

Even so, that doesn't fully make up for just how disastrously the events were handled. This wasn't a case of fans not being in the know about how conventions are run. This was fully caused by NYCC either not knowing or not caring just how big of a crowd Alex Hirsch would draw. They dangled the chance of first come, first serve autographs to hundreds of people without providing the best guidelines on how to obtain them. They reserved a panel room that wasn't nearly large enough and didn't consider the implications of seat-camping. It was a nightmare.

Hopefully, you appreciated my dramatic retelling of these events. The moral of this story is: don't assume that just because NYCC is one of the biggest conventions in the country that it is guaranteed to competently run all of its events. They can mess up.

[pastafossa]

Pasta omg did they canonically confirm Matt wasnt blipped?! If that fight was post-Ronin but pre-Hawkeye it has to be during the Blip right???

My brain is gonna explode already

IT SURE AS FUCK LOOKS LIKE IT.

And if we're RIGHT, and now that we know netflix DD is canon, this scene told us a lot This is mostly me hypothesizing here BUT:

Matt, Fisk not blipped.

Good sign towards one theory that Foggy + Karen were blipped to angst Matt up, which is why they weren't called for the original script before they tossed that out to rewrite it, because there were signs that it was going to have a lot of it DURING the blip. Rewrites not withstanding, Foggy and Karen might still have been blipped even if they come back. At the very least, I'm assuming they blipped.

Matt: new red suit again, which means he did NOT keep the black suit post S3. Which is good, we don't need another Nobu fight.

FISK was out and about post blip. And if DD is canon, we know Matt had his dirt on Vanessa to keep Fisk in prison by his choice. If Vanessa was blipped (@wonderlandmind4 pointed out no wedding ring on Fisk - divorce when they came back? Something happened when she blipped back? Wasn't blipped but killed during the chaos of the blip?), it would explain why Fisk was out since Matt would have nothing to hold over him.

Fisk confirming with Maya that none of his people have every stood up against Matt, so Matt's been at least partially successful at hampering Fisk. However, Fisk's power clearly indicates Matt's fighting a losing battle, much like before. I'm thinking this will lead to him getting help (return of JJ? Frank? Spidey appearance?).

In other words I have theories based on like 90 seconds but that's what I've got and I may or may not already be examining my Blip Side Fic outline and making adjustments.

[kidcharlemagnex6]

Why Kyle Broflovski Shouldn't Be in a Relationship Just Yet.

During one my occasional musings about South Park, one question I asked myself was: why hasn't Kyle gotten a long-term relationship arc like Stan has? But then I thought about it and realized that one potential reason is that, when you really think about it, Kyle has some toxic personality traits that show he isn't actually relationship material. My explanation will be framed in the form of my opinions on three Kyle-based shippings that frequently crop up in the South Park fandom that wouldn't really work when you think about it. Those three shippings are Style, Kyndy, and Kybe.

First, I want to talk about the shipping between Kyle and Stan. My opinion on it is pretty much the same as others I've seen on here. First off, just because two people are best friends doesn't mean that they're relationship material with each other. Second, even if the two did have romantic feelings for each other, they probably wouldn't be very compatible with each other. Stan is well-meaning but reserved, preferring to listen and only provide his input when he's explicitly allowed. Kyle, on the other hand, is more extroverted but doesn't always express it in a healthy way. When you pay attention to some of Kyle's scenes, such as when he's talking about an "important" issue, he expresses his opinions so forcefully and, to be honest, condescending, that it feels like he's more interested in simply forcing his opinions onto anyone who tries to listen than actually having meaningful discussions. Not to mention, when Stan was going through his first major depressive spell, he was pretty quick to abandon his efforts to make him feel better because he "couldn't handle the negativity," which makes me feel that some toxic positivity might be included.

There also seems to be a small contingent of fans who want Wendy to leave Stan for Kyle. While it's true that they have some similarities, such as their intelligence and morality, those differences are surface level when you really examine them. As mentioned earlier, Stan is more of a listener than a conversationalist and that seems to be all Wendy is looking for. She really wants to be heard and taken seriously, and Stan is more than happy to indulge her if that's all she wants. Kyle, on the other hand, might start acting overbearing toward Wendy and refuse to take her seriously, especially if she disagrees with him on something, not to mention that if things get really heated between them, Kyle might even stoop to hitting Wendy while Stan would never do such a thing. Kyle might also get possessive of Wendy, especially when he thinks she might leave him for a different boy. Take for example the whole business with Brydon: Stan calmly told Wendy that he wouldn't stand in her way if she wanted to pursue a relationship with him, instead. Possessive? To an extent, but the way he went about it is a clear indicator that he genuinely cares about Wendy and just wants her to be happy. Kyle, on the other hand, might have become selfishly jealous and outright demanded that Wendy not talk to Brydon, which would just drive her away, anyway.

The last potential suitor of Kyle's that I want to talk about is Bebe. Ever since the episode, "Clubhouses," Bebe hasn't even expressed a passing interest in Kyle and went straight for Clyde. The way Bebe expressed her interest in Kyle, however, strongly implied to me that Bebe really only cared about the image of being in a relationship rather than the person she's dating. But if you pay attention to some of Bebe's later episodes, you'll notice some signs that Bebe wouldn't have been a good girlfriend to Kyle, anyway. The whole incident with the shoe store, in my opinion at least, is a pretty clear indicator of what Bebe's real priorities are regardless of her claims that she wants to be either a lawyer or marine biologist. Material possessions seem to be one of her primary concerns and the fact that she was willing to manipulate her "boyfriend" Clyde to get what she wanted shows that hurting other people's feelings isn't too big of a concern for her. Therefore, there's the very real possibility that if Kyle became Bebe's boyfriend, she would immediately start molding him into her little fashion accessory who only exists to give her gifts. Not to mention, the fears I expressed about Kyle's potential treatment of Wendy would also apply.

So now you might be asking, "Then who do you think Kyle would be a good match for?" To be honest, I don't think he should jump right into that. As you might have gathered from this post, Kyle, for all of his good qualities, still has too many toxic traits that will get in the way of forming a loving, committed relationship with someone. He might be smart and morally upstanding, but what he needs to work on is being respectful of other people's opinions and choices, not giving up so easily, and understanding that just because he can do something doesn't necessarily mean that he should. Once he does get those figured out, he should absolutely get his own long-term romance arc just like Stan and Wendy have.

'Nuff said.

[bluesylveon2]

I Walked with You Once Upon a Dream

Summary: Two souls find themselves in Dream World, a place with an endless sea and sky.

Note: royal au, fluff, cameos, and set after Lilia's fic. Dream World is based on Final World from KH3

Warning: not beta read, fem Yuu/reader, mini Book 7 spoiler, and possible ooc characters

Word Count: 2.2k

Masterlist: here, Series Masterlist: here

Yuu opened her eyes to find herself looking at a bright blue sky. 

"This is not my room," Yuu said as she tried to cover her eyes from the light. "What?!" She exclaimed as her fingers ran through the shallow water around her. It looked like she was not in a body of water as the water kept going as far as the eye could see. Despite being in the water, Yuu's clothes were not wet at all. 

"Hello?"

Yuu turned to find a silver star nearby. When did they get there? That star was not there earlier. 

"Who are you?" She asked, inspecting the star.  

"My name is Silver Vanrouge."

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that."

"I said my name is Silver."

Yuu shook her head, and her face turned grim. "I'm sorry I didn't get that. Your voice cut off at your name."" 

"What is your name then?"

"Yuu."

The star(?) shook side to side as if it were saying no. "I didn't get that either. I wonder why…"

The star stayed quiet while Yuu examined the bright floating star again. "You can talk?"

"Of course, I can talk. I'm a human, unlike you."

"What do you mean? You're literally a star." Yuu eyed the star suspiciously. How could something like this be a human? 

"Oh, that's what you look like to me…strange. It must be like that for everyone, then."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that other people, in people's perspectives, will look like stars. It must explain why we can't hear our names. But it seems like we are the only two people here."

Yuu looked left and right only to realize nothing living was around them. They were surrounded by the endless sea and sky. 

"Wait, does this mean we are stuck here?"

"I don't think so. It could only be a temporary thing. What were you doing before you woke up here?"

"I was sleeping."

"So was I. Maybe Father might know something about this place…" The star trailed off. Yuu stared at the star with interest. It had a crystal-like structure, and it reflected the sunlight. Yuu hesitantly reached her hand out to touch it. "Hey, what are you-" 

The moment her hand made contact with it, a bright light came out and blinded her. Yuu shielded her eyes with her arms until it was gone. 

When she opened her eyes, she was on her bed, and the sun was up. 

"Hey, you're back." the star greeted. A few days had passed since the first night, and everything looked the same as when she left. 

"It is nice to see you too. Maybe we can actually hear our names now?"

"Alright, my name is Silver Vanrouge."

"Silver," Yuu let his name roll out out her tongue. "I did not get your last name, but this is an improvement. In that case, I'm Yuu."

"Nice to meet you, Yuu." 

"Did your father ever figure out what this place is?" Yuu asked, looking around the same sky and sea as last night. 

Silver nodded. "My Father once read about it. He told me that it is a fixed place called the Dream World, meaning that the scenery cannot be changed, and only a few people can access it when they sleep."

"I see. I need to find a book about this place. I am only confused about why we are the ones here. Why is no one else here?"

"Father said it is unique to the two people who enter it. He was grinning while explaining it but did not explain why."

Yuu hummed in thought and sat down on the water. Her clothes showed no sign of being wet. "I see. So I guess if we want to reveal ourselves more, then we should start talking."

"I agree." Silver floated down next to Yuu. "We can start with telling something interesting about ourselves. My father, who adopted me as a baby, is a famous fae general."

"But aren't you a human?"

"Yes. I figured out we were different when I was a child, but we have come a long way. Now I have two parents, and they are both faces."

Yuu's mouth pressed together in a thin line. "I'm sorry if this sounds personal, but aren't you afraid of them outliving you."

"It's alright. I don't mind sharing." Silver's star had a red hue to it. "My father and I used to be worried about that. I often asked myself, how will Father handle me not being there when I go?" The star lightened up to a magenta color. "One day, he sat down with me and said, 'Silver, you cannot worry about the future. Focus on spending time with the people around you. You may not be with me one day, but you will live through memories.'"

Yuu smiled; her heart warmed up, thinking about Silver and his father. "Your father sounds like a wonderful person."

"I'm proud to be his son, now and forever." Silver's star went back to it's silver color. "So, what are your parents like?"

"My parents are human, unlike yours. I was born in Sunset Savanna but grew up in the Land of Scalding Sands."

Yuu did not know why, but she sensed that Silver was smiling. "I know someone from there. His name is Kalim."

Yuu's eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh, I know of him. I never met him, but his family plays an important role in Silk City. So, did you grow up in Briar Valley? I hear most fae come from there."

"I do. I live in the castle as a knight for the King."

Yuu's eyes widen in interest. Every story of Briar Valley she heard of made it sound like a mystery, where the King never stepped out of the country. However, she had heard rumors that the King once visited Silk City. "Really? What's it like?"

The King looks intimidating, but he is not. My father is his caretaker, and I see the King as a brother. He and another knight are like brothers to me." 

"That's sweet." Yuu smiled. "It looks like you have a loving family."

"I am glad to have met them." Silver nodded. "So what is the Scalding Sands like? I've been there a few times but did not see everything."

"Well, it's like-" Yuu's voice went up as she recalled her homeland with old stories and innovations. Meanwhile, Silver listened attentively, just as Yuu had done before. Yuu only wished she could see Silver's expression. "And then they have a festival called Al'ab Nariya. It uses fireworks to-" A flashing light appeared, and an invisible force was pulling at Yuu and Silver's bodies. "I never got to finish telling you everything!" Yuu exclaimed while holding her hands out to grab the star. 

"You can always tell me tomorrow. I'll be waiting for you. Yuu."

For a moment, Yuu swore she saw a smile on the star but must have been imagining it. Right?.

Yuu and Silver continued to meet in Dream World for many nights following that. The two spent hours talking about anything they desired. The more they talked, the more details were revealed of each other. First was the star, then an orb of light; now, it was a silhouette of his body. 

The two were currently sitting on the water like usual. Yuu finished retelling a story about her day while Silver was lying on her lap. Her fingers combed through his soft hair when Silver told her the news. 

"Did you know I'm going to be a big brother? My parents had told me before I went to sleep." Silver brought up one day. He had a bright smile and a sparkle in his eyes. 

Yuu turned to Silver in excitement. "Congratulations! Now you have someone to look over besides Sebek." Yuu giggled. Everything she heard of the infamous Sebek was secondhanded from Silver. Yuu was determined to meet him one day, even if he disliked humans. 

"Yes, but I don't know if I will be the best brother."

"What do you mean?"

Silver sighed and tapped his finger against the water, causing ripples around them. "I only know how to cook things that are good enough to eat, like chopped meats and vegetables."

"I see. Sadly, I'm not familiar with babies myself. I'm not much help." Yuu said, and her eyes lit up with an idea. "Why don't you ask your parents to help you cook? I'm sure they know what to feed a baby." 

"I can ask my mother. I will not ask my father." Silver said firmly, "He's really wise but a horrible cook. I recommend you don't eat his cooking if you value your life. He will find a way to jazz it up."

"Oh, can I visit Briar Valley one day?

Silver chuckled, and he looked at Yuu. "I want you to visit Briar Valley."

Yuu's mouth opened in an o, and her eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"I want you to come visit me one day. We always talk here, but we never met once in real life. I can even give you a tour when you come."

Yuu nodded. "I would love that, and I can give you a tour of the Scalding Sands if you decide to visit."

"I will, Yuu. I promise." The world around them turned bright like sunlight. The two were already familiar with what happened next. Yet, Yuu swore she saw auroral eyes staring back at her.  

Days passed.

Weeks passed.

Nothing happened. 

Yuu went to sleep and woke up like usual, like her meeting Silver was all a dream. 

It was ironic, in Yuu's opinion. 

Yuu looked everywhere for days to find anything about the Dream World. She looked through the libraries all across Silk City, only to come up empty. She was even desperate enough to go to Asim Palace to talk to Kalim, only to find out from his past retainer's sister that he was away on a trip. 

Luckily for Yuu, Najma took pity on her and helped her look through the Asim library. 

Again, they found nothing. Najma was kind enough to continue her search for her and would update her if she saw anything. 

Days had passed since then, and Yuu was thinking about Silver as she weaved through the bustling Camel Bazaar when she felt it. 

A man had casually walked past her, and it felt like the world slowed down around her; the local voices sounded like unintelligible noises, the familiar golden sands had a pink hue, and it all started when the man passed her. 

Yuu turned to find a man with silver hair and familiar auroral eyes staring at her with a mirrored expression. The silhouette of him did not do him justice. Silver was about her age, was slightly taller than her, and had lovely eyes. He looked like a prince straight out a fairytale. She felt a pull towards him that she could not describe. Despite that, the first thing that came out of her mouth was-

"Are you not sweating in that?" she pointed at the black and green leather outfit that would not help an average person in the desert heat. 

Silver shrugged with a smile on his face. "Not really, but I can change into something more appropriate if you are worried about me."

Yuu blushed. How could he say that so casually when they first met? She grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the shops. "I know a place that sells quality clothes, and we can grab something to eat after."

"Oh, like a date? Father mentioned how he used to go on one like these…" Silver said innocently, unaware of Yuu turning red like the color the Sorceror of Sands wore. 

"Wait, we need to get you something before discussing that!"

Silver stopped walking, took Yuu's hands, and looked into her eyes. "Yuu, I know this is the first time we met in person, but I felt something the moment you walked by. I once felt it when I met my mother because I knew she would be important to me. It sounds silly, but trust me. Let me court you properly once we settle this."

Yuu's heart swooned, ignoring the many eyes watching Silver's declaration in public, especially the gossiping aunts who give them a few hours and Yuu's parents would hear about the news. She was too focused on Silver to care. 

"Alright." She grasped Silver's hand and walked off. "This place gets more crowded at night, and I don't want you to get lost."

Silver smiled, making him look like a prince from the fairytales. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Excerpt taken from A Book About Soulmates (previously owned by Mallenoa Draconia)

Once upon a time, two souls fell into tragedy. However, before they died, they met an angel who gave them each a wish. One wished for happiness with the other. The other wanted to meet his loved one every 1000 years. The angel granted their wishes and set their souls to meet in the Dream World. Their bond was so strong and special that they would see each other whenever they slept. The only time they stop is when they start falling in love. After that, the two are bound to love each other for a lifetime. 

A/N: I might make a sequel to this once Book 7 comes out in the EN server

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[livelaughghoul]

Max Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton Synastry Analysis

Everything is going under the read more tab, this ended up being close to 1,200 words, and I don't want y'all to have to scroll down my yapping if you don't want to see it.

I have no idea if this is going to make any sense to people, so if there are any questions, let me know. Hopefully, this does make sense to people though, because the sticker notes and highlighting that was done to make this happen was outrageous.

I know that a lot is going on here, and it’s kind of chaotic, and I apologize for that. I am going to try and break this down as easily as I can, but I feel like I have a corkboard with so many different colors of yarn, and I reek of cigarette smoke because I have been chain-smoking all morning (don’t smoke it’s bad or whatever, I’m not your mom, do what you want). With the chart above, I did not examine the Mean Node or the Midhaven. It’s my personal preference, but I do not look at Quincunxs, Semisquares, Sesquisqaures, or Semisextiles. I think that we cover everything we really need to cover with the main aspects. If someone really wants me to, I can look at these things, but I don’t think they are necessary. 

I have mixed feelings about this, because I think that Max has a lot of respect for Lewis, and in some ways really admires and looks up to him, but I think that there is also a lot of resentment, and jealousy that is there. I imagine that Max sees everything that Lewis has done, and almost sets challenges to himself based on the timeframe that Lewis achieved things. With the number of squares between the two of them, I think they would constantly be battling against each other over the smallest and minor things, and it would just become impossible to maintain any sort of teamwork between the two. 

Lewis placements are along the top, as a reminder here is the basic rundown of his placements: 

Sun - Capricorn 

Moon - Cancer 

Rising - Scorpio

Mercury - Sagittarius Venus - Pisces

Mars - Pisces

Jupiter - Capricorn

Saturn - Scorpio 

Uranus - Sagittarius

Neptune - Capricorn

Pluto - Scorpio 

Max placements are on the left-hand side, as a reminder here is the basic rundown of his placements: 

Sun - Libra

Moon - Virgo

Rising - Sagittarius

Mercury - Virgo Venus - Scorpio 

Mars - Sagittarius 

Jupiter - Aquarius 

Saturn - Aries

Uranus - Aquarius 

Neptune - Capricorn 

Pluto - Sagittarius 

Conjunctions (0 degrees apart, within the same degree/sign): 

Conjunctions are really strong aspects and complement each other. It is possible that with too many conjunctions there is a tendency to get overwhelmed. What stands out to me is Lewis and his Saturn placement. I go back to thinking that there is an emphasis being placed on using Lewis and his successes as a starting point like Max sees this as almost a challenge. I think there is a lot of admiration that goes both ways, but I think Lewis may struggle with this more, as he comes closer to the end of his career, there is almost a coming to terms that needs to happen. 

Here are the conjunctions that stand out to me the most: 

Max Venus and Lewis Saturn 

Max Mars and Lewis  Saturn 

Max Pluto and Lewis Saturn 

Trines (120 degrees apart):

Trines bring a lot of harmony, it’s the joining of two signs and placements and creating one. It’s a lot of harmony, but I think that people forget that when there is too much of a good thing, it can be a bad thing. I see a lot of harmony in terms of work ethic, and feeling the weight of what they need to do on them, but I think that causes a lot of conflict for them. I think that there is a disagreement in terms of how to prepare and train for things, and the general approach. To me, Lewis feels very mindful and approaches this in a levelheaded way, whereas Max may approach the sport in a more aggressive, I need to dominate it kind of way. I think that while they are both dedicated to it, it’s to very different degrees, and there would be conflict there. 

Here are the Trines that stand out to me the most: 

Max Moon and Lewis Sun 

Max Venus and Lewis Mercury 

Max Moon and Lewis Jupiter 

Max Mercury and Lewis Jupiter 

Max Saturn and Lewis Mercury 

Max Saturn and Lewis Uranus 

Oppositions (180 degrees apart): 

I think this is my toxic traits coming out, but I want there to be more opposition. Oppositions bring challenges, and that is something that I think is important to have. I think that it being Capricorn Neptune that thrives on stability and practicability opposing a Cancer Moon that loves loyalty and being protected is hilarious to me. I think that the practical force of Max’s Neptune would almost overwhelm Lewis’s emotional and protective Moon, there would be lot of minor conflicts between the two of them. 

Here is the Opposition that interested me the most: 

Max Neptune and Lewis Moon 

Squares (90 degrees apart): 

First, in this household, we do not like squares. Squares are challenging and stressful. It’s a lesson that we need to learn, and it’s a lesson that takes time to learn. The sheer level of squares between the two of them has me so fucking stressed out, like what the fuck. 

First of all the suns squaring each other tells me that there is ALWAYS going to be tension there, and I think it comes down to Lewis and Max can both learn things from each other, but they don’t want to, there is something almost blocking this from happening. I’m not joking when I say that I am overwhelmed like the two of them absolutely thrive on challenging each other with everything, but I do think that at the end of the day, there is absolutely nothing but respect. 

The Squares: 

Max Sun and Lewis Sun 

Max Saturn and Lewis Sun 

Max Saturn and Lewis Moon 

Max Moon and Lewis Mercury 

Max Mercury and Lewis Mercury 

Max Pluto and Lewis Venus 

Max Rising and Lewis Venus 

Max Rising and Lewis Mars 

Max Pluto and Lewis Mars 

Max Mars and Lewis Mars 

Max Saturn and Lewis Jupiter 

Max Moon and Lewis Uranus 

Max’s Sun and Lewis Neptune 

Max Moon and Lewis Neptune 

Max Mercury and Lewis Neptune 

Max Neptune and Lewis Pluto 

Max Uranus and Lewis Pluto 

Max Jupiter and Lewis Pluto 

Max Jupiter and Lewis Rising 

Sextiles (60 degrees apart): 

We love a Sextile, more than anything else. It’s also my favorite thing to look at when looking at the synstry between people. Sextiles bring benefits, but only if you work on something. I think that once we get past the overwhelming number of squares, I think the two of them could actually really work well together because there is so much to teach each other. 

Lewis absolutely could be a real mentor to Max, and help him maybe unlearn some of those more dangerous and unhealthy habits that come with being so dedicated to his career and position. 

Sextiles: 

Max Venus and Lewis Sun 

Max Venus and Lewis Jupiter 

Max Moon and Lewis Saturn 

Max Mercury and Lewis Saturn 

Max Neptune and Lewis Saturn 

Max Jupiter and Lewis Uranus 

[driftward]

Title: The Disappearance of Apple Silverberg Characters: Zoissette Vauban, Ryssthota Sundstyrwyn, Apple Silverberg Rating: Teen Summary: Apple's gone missing and there's a killer loose in the Twelveswood. Can Gage Acquisition's very own agent of inquiry crack this case before something horrible happens? Notes: Part of an ongoing series being written by my friend Darlain, base master post here

Ryss frowned. She'd greeted Zoissette when arriving at the workshop before settling down to focus on her latest set of equations, leaving the other woman to her own devices. But then Zoissette had made a beeline for Apple's area in the workshop, which while not against any formal rule, was, at least, kind of rude. She watched her for a few moments as Zoissette ducked down over Apple's desk, beginning to rifle through drawers and picking through various tools.

"What are you doing, Zo?" she asked at last.

"Have you seen Apple?" asked Zoissette.

"No."

"Weird, right?"

Ryss paused, and thought about it for a moment.

"Not really?" she said, finally. "We're adventurers, Zoissette, and Apple likes to go on those long sojourns into secured Allagan territory looking for materials for her work."

"Of course, of course," said Zoissette. She had found some kind of notebook, and was flipping through it quickly.

"...that's Apple's stuff," said Ryss, keeping her tone even. Working in the Assessor's Guild had taught her patience with the queerest of arcanists, and her friend was queerer than most.

"Ignore the last couple of sennights. Where has she been spending most of her time before then?"

"...well, she was helping out taking care of you," said Ryss. Zoissette had been in a bad way after a misadventure in the rift between realms and had needed to be nursed back to health. "And when she was not in the infirmary, she was in here, working on something that'd help you."

"Right. Right! She has been reliably in the same place, for several sennights, up until very suddenly she was not. Did not sign out, did not check with anyone, did not say goodbye to anyone near as I have found out. Wait. Did she say goodbye to you?"

"No..."

"No," echoed Zoissette.

"Zoissette," said Ryss.

"Right. Not to you, not to me, not to anyone else on the science team. Maybe to Y'zel, but he has vanished as well. Though Y'shtola has assured me to not worry about him. Still though. Just suddenly gone. Unusual break in pattern."

Zoissette frowned as she traced her fingers along a few lines in the notebook she had found.

"Have you tried linking to her?" asked Ryss.

"Naturally. You try. Maybe mine got fried during the time in - well. Maybe it got scrambled on some links without me knowing."

Ryss held a hand up to her linkpearl and tried to contact Apple through it, watching as Zoissette began to examine some device Apple had been working on.

The door to the workshop opened, and Yesuntei walked in, followed closely by a Wood Wailer. The linkpearl was making the noise that indicated it could not establish a connection, so Ryss gave up on it and turned to greet the newcomer.

"Visitor for Zoissette," said Yesuntei politely.

Zoissette looked the Wood Wailer over. So did Ryss. Elezen gentleman of some sort, wearing the typical green leather armor of one of their lancers. The very image of a typical member of the forest force.

"Foreseer Vauban?" he asked.

Ryss glanced over and saw Zoissette's forehead crinkle and her eyes flutter as she tried to affect some kind of specific facial expression, what, Ryss did not know. Zoissette gave up and wiped her face with a hand after a moment as she stood up and walked over.

"Not in some time, no."

"But... you are, or were, her, yes?"

Zoissette nodded, and he continued. "Ah, blessings of the elementals upon us all today. We've heard about your prowess for investigation, and you come highly recommended. Now, I know Gridania is a different sort of place, but I rather suspect we're dealing with a different sort of problem that's beyond my people just now. We think we may have a killer on the loose. I was hoping that we'd be able to hire your services as an adventurer to come take a look."

Zoissette looked over at Ryss, who shrugged in response, then back to the Wood Wailer.

"Begging your pardon, but I have no idea how I would have gathered such a reputation. Having said that, Gage Acquisitions does offer several adventurer hiring packages, and... uhm..."

She looked over at Ryss.

"...and, uhm, you will need to work through Ryss for them."

Ryss grinned at the man.

"Ah, but I was rather hoping for your attention, Foreseer Vauban."

"And you will have it," said Zoissette. Ryss watched as she tucked several things of Apple's away, from notebooks to tools to a device that she did not recognize. "However, contracts will need to go through her, as I am currently, uhm-"

"She's currently working on a project under me!" said Ryss, covering for her awkward friend.

The Wood Wailer did not look very certain at that, but he nodded.

"Yesuntei, kindly make the arrangements, if you would, I'm sure we can both spare the Wailers some of our time." Ryssthota continued.

"Certainly," the Au Ra said, gesturing at the Wood Wailer. He held his arms parallel to each other in front of him in the salute that was particular to Gridania, and then followed Yesuntei out.

"The game's afoot?" said Ryss.

"What game?" asked Zoissette, blinking at her. Ryss just laughed as she closed up her book, and went to grab her hat.

It was many bells and a couple of corpses later. The Wood Wailers had signed them on to the job officially, and had escorted them, first to look at the body of a man found in town, then to the body of a ziz whose injuries bore a striking resemblance to those of the man. Both sites were grisly, telling similar tales. Both bodies had been maimed, each looking as though they had been attacked with some kind of large bladed weapon or weapons.

As they had travelled, the Wood Wailers had shared the stories of similar incidents throughout the Twelveswood. Other bodies had been found over the intervening moons before hand. Many but not all of them were Spoken, and the Wood Wailers had found the bodies of both man and beastkin that had shown similar signs of mutilation, and brought these stories to the attention of the investigation as well.

Zoissette had not spoken much, and so Ryss had been left to ask questions. Where the bodies had been found, who had last seen them, anyone who might have talked to the victims before they died, things of that nature. Zoissette had mostly walked around and looked and taken notes, every once in a while reaching up to try to tap the rim of her glasses, which she of course did not have, and often winding up just thwapping herself in the nose instead.

It might have been funny if not for the circumstances.

Ryss wandered up to her as she was crouched, sprinkling some arcane powder over the site, and watching as its color shifted. Ryss crossed her arms and frowned, looking out into the forest. Nearby, Meya was looking up into the forest canopy, her eyes half-lidded. Zoissette had asked for her to help. As a Hearer, her ability to commune with the elementals might provide information they otherwise would not be privy to. As Zoissette examined the drifts of the arcane powder, Meya lowered her staff, apparently having finished communing with the spirits.

"The elementals are cautiously calm, and are not very upset on the matter," she declared. "Whatever it is, it is not unduly balancing the wood. They are unable to tell us who or what is behind these attacks, but they do know it is the same entity for both. Given some time to visit the other sites, they may be able to tell me more about the other similar scenes that the Wood Wailers report have occurred elsewhere in the Twelveswood. They say we are dealing with a creature of significant depth - I think maybe they are talking about its aether? - but not one they see as a threat to the woods as a whole."

Ryss nodded thoughtfully while Zoissette scribbled some notes.

"Almost want to say we have some kind of vengeful vigilante sort out here. None of the victims were well liked. Hells, other than the one drunkard actually found in town, none of them are even part of what I would call civilization," said Ryss.

"If so, it is an outsider of some sort pursuing what they see as justice," said Zoissette thoughtfully. "Gridanians are insular. In many ways worse than my own people. Think about it. They have a poaching and bandit problem, sure, but everyone knows everyone else here, usually with pretty small degrees of separation. This is not Limsa Lominsa, where a lone killer might have it out for a rival pirate crew, or Ul'dah where they're spread out and family lines are weaker. No, if you kill a bandit in Gridania, you are very likely killing someone's brother or sister."

"Oh. And that could mean bad blood between neighbors."

Zoissette looked thoughtful. "Right! But I do not think this is that. If vigilantism or some gesture at misguided justice, why bother with the beastkin, then?"

"I was wonderin' that. Killer got hungry, perhaps?"

"Too much meat left behind for that, and the Wailers pointed out that no body found yet has been even so little as field stripped. Consider the patterns we do have. The fact that the bodies are completely undressed leaves out poachers or hunters. They would want to harvest at least some of the material from the beastkin, leather, meat, useful bones and organs. I think we can also rule out a vigilante. A vigilante would not bother with killing beastkin. And further I think they would leave the bodies somewhere more conspicuous if they wanted to send a message."

"More conspicuous? The bodies are plenty obvious."

"Obvious, to be certain! No effort was made to display them, but also, no effort was made to hide them, either. The killer did not care if they were found. A vigilante, I would think, would either want to hide their tracks, so that they could get away with their grisly task for as long as they possibly could, or so as not to tip their hand as to what they are up to. Or, or! Or they would display the bodies prominently, so as to send a message."

Ryss looked thoughtful for a moment. "...but our killer has done neither. I noticed that myself. The bodies weren't moved at all. No drag marks. Just left to drop where they were killed."

Zoissette nodded.

Ryss returned the gesture. "That rules out the easy options, and explains why the Wailers are hiring outside help."

"It does. We have a few more left, however. Our killer left behind meat, but that does not mean they did not feed."

Zoissette gestured at the thin coloring of the arcanist powder she had spread as it drifted through the air. Ryss looked at it thoughtfully.

"Aetherical signatures?"

Zoissette nodded. "I used this powder in some investigations in Mor Dhona, and have made some adjustments to its capabilities. Like you say, normally it is useful for seeing someone's aetheric signature. I wanted to see if perhaps we could get a read on any spell work that had been used - if nothing else, we might be able to match it to a known spell caster, should we ever get any potential suspects. But, look - I will want to go back to the workshop and get a set of goggles from Sharlayan to confirm it, but there is more to aether than just its signature. There is also its density."

Ryss crossed her arms, and frowned.

Zoissette reached up for her glasses rim again, and again wound up just thwapping her nose. She did not seem to notice, however, and Ryss thought she caught a glint of purple in Zoissette's otherwise brown eyes.

"And each of our victims has an unusually low aetheric density."

"Uhm. Are... you sure about that, Zo?"

"Like I said. I would like to confirm that with equipment from the workshop. Or perhaps Meya's invisible friends can weigh in?"

"I can ask," said Meya, who had patiently been listening the entire time.

"Please do so. And check in with the other sites. Say, do the elementals have a concept of time?"

"Sort of," said Meya. "Or at least, enough for us to get impressions. They do experience time, just a little different from us, but similar enough. Why do you ask?"

"Hmn," said Zoissette. "See if you can get a sense of when each of the attacks occurred. Little interested in time of day. Very interested in calendar dates. Approximations will be fine, I do not expect them to know what a calendar is, but surely they can approximate the number of times the sun has gone past since an event happened?"

Meya nodded slowly. "I... think I can manage that. I will need some time. This is neither fast nor simple."

Ryss just looked at Zoissette oddly as the other woman stood up and stretched her back.

"I believe you have it. Thank you, Meya. Meet us back at the workshop?"

Meya nodded, and moved off. Ryss walked over to look over Zoissette's shoulder, to see that she was tracing a finger over dates she'd written down, of when each of the bodies had been found. Ryss frowned lightly.

"I don't see a pattern," she said.

"Of course not," murmured Zoissette. She tapped the dates each. They were the days on which the Wood Wailers had found one of the grisly scenes, including the most recent one. "How long do you think a body lasts out in the Twelveswood before scavengers get to it? Three days at most, you think?"

"Sure?"

Zoissette nodded, and flipped over to a calendar, in which she made marks on each of the dates, along with little red marks three days behind each of them.

"So that means it is entirely possible that a body would be gone before a Wailer patrol could find it and identify it. Consider also - they have told us of the bodies they found matching the pattern we see here with these two, the ziz and the man. But they will not always be able to identify a body as matching that pattern if the scavengers do get to it first. Lot of death in nature."

Zoissette thoughtfully made some more marks.

"I suspect Meya may be able to confirm this... but look. There is no pattern, but if you put a few additional data points in - one emerges. I think Meya is like to confirm this."

Zoissette handed the notes to Ryss, and Ryss looked. With Zoissette's additional marks, a pattern did emerge.

A semi-regular schedule. About once a month, an attack occurred, rarely more than a few days off in either direction.

Ryss quirked an eyebrow, and looked at Zoissette, but Zoissette just shook her head.

"Probably nothing for now. Just keep it in mind as we gather more evidence."

Ryss looked at the body. "So what are you thinking, then? A voidsent?"

Zoissette frowned lightly. "I am not sure. It would fit, except that voidsent, while common in the Great Wood, are generally not so messy. This speaks to a powerful voidsent, if it is."

"Right," said Ryss, thinking back to what they had already found. "Yeah, most of the places where it looked to be a fight, wasn't much of a one. Doesn't look like anybody even had much of a chance to run."

"Which is unusual. Consider. How could a voidsent get that powerful and go unnoticed? And most voidsent that are that powerful will want to continue to go unnoticed, lest people like us get called in to deal with them. Or if it is not that smart, why is the last site from over a sennight ago, then? Did it suddenly get shy?"

"A period of terror, then a sudden stop," said Ryss, thoughtfully. "Maybe somebody dealt with it already. Or maybe the conditions were good for it to be here, then suddenly they weren't."

"Maybe," said Zoissette, sounding doubtful. "Well, there is little more for us to learn out here, I think. Can I ask you to verify that aetheric density theory of mine?"

"Sure thing," said Ryss. "What are you going to do in the meantime?"

Zoissette tucked her equipment away. "I am going to go visit Apple. Last I was aware, her houseboat had an aetheryte on it."

Ryss fixed Zoi with a long look. "This isn't the first time she's dashed off to chase some Allagan ruin rumor without notice. But you're fixating. Why?"

Zoissette looked away, worry clearly written on her face. Ryss rested a hand on her shoulder.

"...I want to give her my thanks for looking over me," said Zoissette, quietly. "And I am worried about her. Is this not just like what happened to me? Everyone just assumed I was fine until suddenly I was gone and it was obvious I was not. And maybe this is better than sitting on my own thoughts too long and too much. Again."

Ryss took in a deep breath, and nodded. "...yeah. Okay. You're right. Wait up and let me take those readings first and I'll go with you. Maybe it's all these bodies making me nervous, but I'm starting to get worried too."

Zoissette looked up at her and smiled. "Thanks, Ryss."

"Don't mention it. Or do. Preferably when someone asks about it for my next performance review."

Zoissette gave as short laugh, and Ryss grinned at her.

It did not take Ryss long to confirm Zoissette's theory. She was not sure how Zoissette knew, but examining each of the bodies with the Sharlayan aetheric goggles had confirmed what she had said. The aether of each of the bodies was far thinner than it should have been, even beyond the usual veil of death. They had been drained, and for what, she did not know. And despite what Zoissette had said, she still rather suspected a voidsent.

Something large, with claws like blades.

She met Meya back at Headquarters. The woman was all smiles, despite the grimness of her task.

"The elementals were cooperative. I was only able to get vague impressions from them, but the same thing has been in the Twelveswood before, and is responsible for the bodies found. And a few others aside. They cannot describe it to me, but it is distinct to them. They're a little worried about it, but not very, not yet - not enough to take action. I hope we're catching it before it becomes a problem."

Ryss nodded as Meya handed her a sheet of paper. "And here's the dates of the other attacks, as near as I could manage. The way they describe time is different than how we experience it, but it's like we like to say amongst the Hearers - the land has a long memory."

Ryss nodded, and checked over the dates.

"Huh," she said. "She was right. There was a pattern."

Meya nodded thoughtfully. And then tilted her head up at Ryss. "How is she holding up? After the breakup?"

Ryss blinked.

"She hasn't said anything about that."

"Oh. Oh! Uhm. She kind of just blurted it out when we were speaking earlier, but if she hasn't brought it up with you, then maybe nevermind then."

Ryss just groaned, and Meya patted her on the shoulder.

"Well, look after her, will you?" said Meya.

"Of course," said Ryss, rubbing at her head.

Well, at least Zoissette had found an arguably healthy outlet for her anxieties this time, she supposed.

She and Zoissette arrived at the houseboat in the same teleportation spell, Ryss taking the lead so as not to tax Zoissette's anima. The teleportation energies dissipated around them both and the world faded in rapidly as they arrived on Apple's houseboat.

Odd. This was not where Apple usually docked it.

Zoissette was off, quickly. Ryss kept a careful eye on her as she and Ryss took several moments to wordlessly walk around the top deck. The houseboat was moored, but had been abandoned for some time. The hatches were all battened down, and the windows and front door had all been warded and secured quite firmly.

"Guess she's not here," said Ryss.

"And did not expect to return," said Zoissette. "Examine the wards again."

Ryss looked at them carefully, this time paying more attention to the arcanima techniques that had been used to make them.

"...huh," she said. "No, I see what you mean. Static, shouldn't need maintenance for a while, and with a secondary arcanima array makin' sure they keep aether stable without needing more crystals than were used to bring them up in the first place."

"And the rest of the ship - you worked in the Maelstrom, same as me. Look at how the mooring lines have been done, the hatches, and the bilge overflow lineup."

Ryss checked again. Everything had been set to stay, rather than a more convenient setup that would make more sense for docking if the owner had, in fact, intended to come back.

"...this is more than just a gone-for-holiday setup," said Ryss.

"Indeed. I suspect you have rarely seen this setup; I know I have only seen it once or twice. This boat has been abandoned in place. Getting it properly seaworthy again would take bells, but with this setup, it will float for moons, possibly even summers, assuming a storm does not smash it."

Ryss put her hands on her hips and scanned the water, frowning as she thought. "Why the hells would she do such a thing?"

Zoissette just made a noncommittal noise, and Ryss turned to see the woman crouched down, fiddling with the front door.

"We can't break in just because we're worried," Ryss protested.

"No?" said Zoissette.

"Zoissette."

Zoissette sighed, and stopped what she was doing.

"Come on. Even if we're worried, there are other things we can do before we break into her house. Ask one of the spies to look into it. Ioh, Iyna, Nyx, they're all good at tracking people down."

Zoissette was quiet for a moment. Ryss decided now was as good a time as ever to bring it up.

"Dumped Mathye, eh?"

"This is not about that," Zoissette protested. Then she sighed. "...but yes," she admitted, letting her shoulders sag a bit as she leaned against the door.

"Better than stringing him along when you know it ain't happening. Chase your bliss, girl!" said Ryss.

Zoissette let out a breath. "Okay. Yes. I know it was the right thing to do. But it hurts. And he is hurting. And everything hurts. And I did not want to hurt him but I did and right now I would rather stay focused on Apple and hope she is okay."

Ryss nodded, and patted Zoissette on the shoulder. "It was a clean break. Nothing wrong with that. Clean wounds heal properly."

Zoissette blinked a few times at that, and a quizzical kind of frown crossed her face, as her eyes darted back and forth as she thought before she looked up at Ryssthota.

"...that is not a perspective I had considered," she said. "You are right."

Zoissette turned her attention back to the door, took a deep breath in, and let it out slow, her stance strengthening once more.

She was going to be alright.

"Atta girl. Now let's see-"

Ryss stopped suddenly. Zoissette was no longer fiddling with the door, but had been leaning against it, apparently resting her hand rather heavily on its latch. Apparently, because it was hard to say what she had thought she saw happened.

She was fair certain Zoissette's arm had faded and gone through the door for a moment.

She was not sure though, because in the next instant, the door had suddenly opened, and Zoissette had fallen into the houseboat.

"Zo!"

"I'm alright! I am alright! Sorry, just - startled."

Ryss rushed over and looked in to see Zoissette sprawled out on the floor, looking around the place and blinking owlishly.

"What the hells just happened? Zo, what'd you do?"

"I did not do anything! The door must have opened from the inside."

Ryss leaned over and looked around inside carefully, her mind starting to reach for Glitterdust to summon the fairy. If there was anyone inside, and they were not Apple, she intended to meet them with axe and magic.

But as she looked, there was no movement, no noise, no nothing. Just Zoissette starting to pick herself up off the floor, and Ryss herself.

"Well, since we are in here anyroad," said Zoissette.

"...right," said Ryss.

They took a bell to search the houseboat. It did not particularly need to take that long, as the houseboat was not all that large, as houseboats often were not, but they were thorough, checking under things, in the overhead, behind every stick of furniture and in every drawer. Zoissette found some notes of Apple's quickly and had split her attention between reading them and helping search.

Zoissette's focus was different, now. Less frenetic, now. Ryss was pleased at the change, as she went to confirm what they had already learned from the outside.

Namely, that the houseboat had been set to be abandoned in place. None of its equipment was set up for sailing, ceruleum had been drained, pipe systems had valve lineups set up for abandonment, wards set, everything locked, tied down, or otherwise secured.

"Nobody's here," said Ryss at last.

"And has not been in some time," agreed Zoissette. She was fiddling with one of Apple's drawers, using the arcane powder again. Whatever she saw caused her to frown.

"Find something?"

"...nothing that I want to say is conclusive," said Zoissette. "The bottom of this drawer has an arcane seal though. Fiendishly complicated.

"...wish I had Lavender," she murmured softly.

"I have Glitterdust," offered Ryss.

"Glitterdust is more frontline combat oriented. Lavender and I had advanced cryptographic arithmetics, since we delved deep into Nym research data. Wait. Hang on."

Zoissette pulled out the familiar arcanist's quill and inks, reaching into the drawer, beginning to draw geometries. Her eyes had that odd purple glow to them again, this time Ryss was certain of it.

"I might remember enough to do this without her," Zoissette was murmering quietly. Ryss wanted to ask her about the glow, but also did not want to break her concentration.

"There!" said Zoissette, doing something Ryss could not see, but a moment later she came up with journals. She flipped one open to read it.

"Zoi?" asked Ryss.

"Diaries," said Zoissette. "Here. I do not want to pry into her personal life overmuch, but..."

Zoissette gestured for Ryss to get closer, and then waved a hand at the little arcane powder that was left in the drawer.

"...no," said Ryss.

Zoissette nodded. "It is not identical, but there are too many similarities to discount, between the patterns and colors. Here. Let me try again. Go test some on her wards."

Zoissette handed a small pouch of the arcane powder to Ryss. Ryss nodded, and quickly began testing it on various wards around Apple's home. Questions about Zoissette's oddness could wait.

The results were quick and obvious. Ryss returned to Zoissette, who had begun reading through the diaries.

"Signature is close to the one we found in the Twelveswood," said Ryss.

"Aspects are slightly different, but the baseline is the same," agreed Zoissette. "Did you know she was working on a method of restoring my aetheric density?"

"I knew she was working on something to help you. I wasn't able to keep up with what. I was trying to tend to and repair the laboratory."

"And her diary entries talk about a condition she has," said Zoissette, softly. "The need to hunt animals. About once a month. She shifted to Azys Lla at some point to handle it."

Zoissette handed the journals to Ryss, who took them and looked through them cautiously. Zoissette had a haunted expression on her face.

"She has a research lab in Azys Lla," said Ryss. "We helped her set it up. Maybe she's just working on something else to help?"

Zoissette frowned, then shook her head, slowly.

"I think something has gone very wrong."

"Do we go after her, then?"

"Absolutely," said Zoissette. Then a moment later, more forcefully, "Yes. Yes, absolutely. Contact Erick or Dark. Whoever answers, let them know we might need a full team. Mix of heavy assault, assault picket, and support, two squads worth. While he works on that, we need to find her. I am going to contact Nyx and Klynt. We will go in as a light search and rescue party to begin with, see if we can find her."

"What do you think has happened?" asked Ryss, as her hand went to her linkpearl.

"I dare not speculate without more evidence," said Zoissette. She opened her mouth as if to say more, then shook her head, and she began placing her own linkpearl calls.

~*~

It was scarcely a bell later, and they were walking across the unusual landscape of Azys Lla, heading towards Apple's laboratory. Ryss was careful as she walked along, keeping an eye out, axe in her hands. She had not summoned Glitterdust - not yet - but the stone that held the little fairy was tucked into a pocket. Klynt was with her, with her long and deadly naginata on her back. Zoissette had her gunblade and was leading the way with Nyx, who had elected to serve as their spellcaster.

She saw Zoissette headtilt just a little at the same time one of Nyx's ears twitched and rotated, and both of them snapped to turn their gaze to the same place at the same time. Ryss and Klynt stopped and settled into a fighting stance, Klynt watching the other direction while Ryss tried to see whatever it was the other two had seen.

"Unknown contact, rank four aetheric signature, indeterminate nature, one hundred and fifty yalms at two hundred and eighty five by minus fourteen," said Nyx in their characteristic monotone. "Line of sight broken. Contact lost."

Ryss murmured to Zoissette, "Did you see it?"

Zoissette shook her head. "I - I am not sure what I saw. Nothing, possibly. Quickly, let us get to the lab - I want to use the arcane powder there, and see if Nyx can determine anything from the signature."

"Right," said Ryss. The party was quick to hurry on to Apple's lab. Periodically Zoissette would look around, as though she had caught sight of something, Nyx's ear twitching often at the same time, but Zoissette would only shake her head and ignore whatever it was as they continued on.

At Apple's lab, Klynt and Zoissette took to watching the perimeter while Ryss sprinkled the arcane powder on some of Apple's experiments. She watched as the colours and patterns fell out of the swirling dust.

"Same as we saw on the houseboat and in the Twelveswood," she called over to Zoissette.

"Nyx, compare and cross reference to the contact, and report," called back Zoissette.

Nyx stared for a few moments before responding.

"Signature patterns recognized. Match with limited data from unknown contact at thirty-two percent confidence," said Nyx.

"Is that high or low?" asked Ryss.

"Hard to say," said Zoissette, coming closer. "Nyx has senses neither you nor I possess, but Azys Lla interferes with them."

"I will be able to use this data to assist in locating the entity using the Azys Lla facility sensors once I am able to interface with a command and control station," said Nyx.

"I don't like this," mumbled Klynt. "Bad feeling on the wind."

Ryss frowned and looked out over the landscape.

"Alright. Let us move quickly, then. Nyx, lead us to the nearest station. I want to try to avoid contact with the entity until we have secured that station. And avoid the local life forms for now - they are additional trouble we can do without," said Zoissette.

The group all nodded, and moved efficiently as one. Azys Lla was a dim place, some aspect of the facility always generating a thick cloud that obscured it from the outside and gave it a dark foreboding haze. Strange plants grew from the ground and stranger creatures wandered its spaces, and yet, despite that, the place somehow felt lifeless. Or worse, faintly malevolent, as though it would snuff any life that fell short of its unreasonably lethal expectations.

The command and control station was a simple dome like structure, one of many that could be found scattered sparsely across Azys Lla. Inside was the usual array of floating spherical or egg-shaped drones and computing systems with their odd array of perfectly straight lines and sharp angles, walls made of unknown alloys, and an atmosphere that was dry and slightly uncomfortably warm.

Klynt stood near the entrance, watching the outside with a baleful eye. Ryss crossed her arms and leaned against a wall to wait while Zoissette slowly paced and looked around the space. Nyx walked to one of the consoles with its half sphere control interface and placed her hands upon it. It came to life with glowing lights and a gentle hum, and Nyx picked at several of the holographic displays.

"Acquiring access privileges. Taking local control. Subsuming protocols. Entering direct mode," said Nyx, who then suddenly locked up and went stiff while standing at the console.

"Uhm," said Ryss.

"Control established," said Nyx, only their voice did not come from their body, but rather, from the facility itself. "Scanning."

"That is passing weird," said Ryss, and Klynt barked a laugh.

"You get used to them," said Zoissette.

"Vauban. I am activating a map on one of the monitors. I believe I have located the entity, as well as secondary evidence to suggest what areas they have been frequenting."

Zoissette walked over to the monitor to look, tapping a finger to her lips. Ryss hovered behind them.

"Nyx. That building. It has multiple entrances. Can you secure them?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I have a plan," said Zoissette, turning to Ryss. "Klynt, you will stay here, protect the control room and protect Nyx. Her control of the security systems in this sector is paramount. Nyx, secure the two entrances I am about to highlight, leave these other two open. We go in, and confirm that the entity is there. Once confirmed, we close the entrance we came in, and make for the other one - have Dark bring the airship to a landing nearby and meet us there, but have her stay onboard, ready to bug out should this go poorly. I suspect that whatever it is may be intelligent - let it think it has trapped us. We stall it until the team arrives to give us backup, then mount a counter offensive."

Ryss looked at Zoissette. "...risky." She did not bother to point out that Zoissette was, arguably, still in recovery.

Zoissette shook her head. "We got lucky to catch up to her here. We cannot risk letting her get loose and run elsewhere. We may not be able to predict her future movements."

Ryss frowned, but after a moment, nodded.

"Good luck," said Klynt.

Dark was raised on the comms, and Ryss and Zoissette made their way carefully to one of the large abandoned specimen rooms where Nyx had thought the entity to be. Now, Ryss had Glitterdust summoned, and the little fairy flitted along with them. All of them kept an eye out as they approached the entrance to the underground Allagan facility. Ryss noted that Zoissette was no longer glancing off at things she could not see.

If the entity had been keeping an eye on them, it may have retreated and was no longer watching them closely, she surmised.

The inside of the specimen facility was dark and quiet. Large tubes made of transparent green glass, none of them intact, were scattered throughout the place. Many of them still had some kind of bioluminescent liquid in the bottom that glowed faintly in a way that somehow made it harder to see, the light casting confusing shadows and being too dim to provide guidance but also too bright for the eye to adapt to a natural night vision. Ryss and Zoissette swept their gazes about, as they slowly made their way in between gutted consoles and the detritus of a fallen civilization.

"How certain are we about Nyx's analysis?" asked Ryss quietly.

"Reasonably," responded Zoissette. "Even if you ignore their expanded repertoire of senses, did you see the highlights on the map? The system has been tracking unusual activity. Something has been acting as a predator. A newer one than the - hmn?"

Zoissette suddenly spun in place, and Ryss glanced over at her.

"...I think I see it too," said Zoissette.

Ryss felt a sudden pulse of alarm from Glitterdust. Before she could say anything, though, Zoissette had shoved her to one side, and a blade whipped through the darkness, neatly through the area they had once been. It retracted just as fast, with a whip-snap motion that was hard to track.

She felt resolve from Glitterdust. That would not be allowed to happen again. But they were still in the dark, still just the two of them, and this was the part of the plan where they ran. She quickly looked around to try to find Zoissette, and was surprised to see her friend already a good distance away, gunblade up, facing where the blade had come from, and waiting for Ryss.

"Come on! Time to go!" said Zoissette.

Ryss was not at all sure how Zoissette had crossed the distance so fast, but the time for questions could come later. She quickly ran to catch up to her, a hand going to her linkpearl as she moved.

"Nyx, lock the place down," said Ryss. "Where's the other team?"

Nyx's voice came back, flat and calm as doldrums on the sea. "They have landed and are making their entrance now. Locking area down."

Zoissette waited for Ryss, waiting for another attack. Another blade whipped out, and she was quick to deflect it with her gunblade, away from them, grunting with the exertion of doing so. Ryss ran past her, and she turned and followed quickly.

There was an unsettling sound behind them, like a dozen dozen blades all being run across a dozen dozen whetstones, sharpening, honing their edges to fine lethality.

Ryss decided she would prefer to not find out exactly how sharp without catching up to the group first and making sure they would be safe. She felt a heat in her chest, as Glitterdust began to pour aether into her, quicking her heart and strengthening her arm.

She was a Nymian Marine, and when they met the group, she would be ready to make her stand.

The team Erick and Dark had assembled was waiting. Ryss knew them well. Meya, a relief, an experienced healer she trusted. Riven, master of elements, who would be able to bring significant power to bear. Minti in a dancer's outfit, sure to be fast and nimble, welcome supporting fire and flamboyant distractions to hopefully dazzle the entity with. Violet, well, Violet was a bit of a wild card, but reliable in her own way.

Ryss turned, axe out. Glitterdust hovered nearby.

"Okay, stick to the plan, but be careful, do not go in full hard" said Zoissette. "I have a hunch-"

There was that sound again. Ryss found it to be uncomfortably close.

"Maybe we can save full explanations for later," said Ryss.

"Right," said Zoissette. "Heavies, to the front, keep the entity pinned down, but be prepared to fade back quickly to protect support. Picket, go for targets of opportunity and soft spots, but most importantly, keep yourselves safe, hit and fade. Support, stand back and keep us alive."

Zoissette snapped two cartridges into her gunblade and readied it as Violet came to stand on one side of Ryss and Zoissette stood on the other.

"Prepare for contact."

[ryujnn]

► akuma. ﾟ｡ ⋆ i’m gonna be like you. (02)

► chapter summary ﾟ｡ ⋆ weddings can either go completely well and two newlyweds will enjoy starting a new life together— or the two getting married can dislike each other, and the bride’s mother dies.

► chapter warnings ﾟ｡ ⋆ pure angst. character death (mother). the wedding day. I SWEAR IT GETS GOOD AFTER THIS. the mother plays a big part— so more gojo and action after this chapter. reader shows some signs of depression but it isn’t heavy.

taglist. visual + character board. prev. next

“Rise and shine!” A familiar voice boomed over you, feeling the edges of your bed dip after suddenly being woken up.

You jumped, eyes flying open to see who had made the decision to not only scare the shit out of you, but wake you up so early. You swear you just fell asleep.

The beautiful, bright eyed smile that you knew and loved was from the person who had gotten you up. Your mother smiles down at you, legs bent on both sides of your resting body. She has the widest grin on her lips, and her hands were cupping your soft cheeks.

“I just finished sewing the lace sleeves on your dress, but now you have to get up!” Himari glances over to the clock, clicking her tongue at the time. “We’re gonna get facials and then we’re picking the chocolate we’re giving to people at the venue.”

You couldn’t help but be confused — utterly. Yeah, your mom had her coma, but this was an energy you hadn’t seen since you were about eight years old. You glanced over to the time… and it’s fucking 5AM.

The wedding doesn’t start until 6PM.

Himari bounced once more, dropping her hands to your shoulders to shake you. “Go brush your nasty mouth and let’s go! They’re waiting outside.”

You pulled your eyebrows together. “N-Nasty?”

Your mother inhales dramatically, immediately plugging her nose after. “Morning breath from hell.”

“Mom!” You push her off cautiously, tossing a pillow at her face before slipping out of your bed right after.

While adjusting the skimpy nightgown you slept in, you turned around and stomped over to the bathroom — cranky because your morning breath was insulted, and you wanted to desperately go back to sleep.

Himari chuckles, sitting up and pulling the pillow to her chest. “I’m sure Satoru would love to see that on you~. Is it champagne pink?”

Is this seriously your first boy talk with your mom?

“Satoru? Since when we’re you two on first name bases?”

She hums. “He’s marrying my daughter, I think I have the right to call him by his given,” Peeking over, she watches you begin to brush your teeth with a scowl on your face — one she’s seen since you were born. “I hope you’re calling him that too.”

You chuckle, pulling the toothbrush from your mouth. “How about I call him ‘asshole’.”

“Y/N.”

“No? What about ‘dumbass’.”

Himari stands up, enjoying the adrenaline running through her veins. She tosses the pillow to the side and rolls off your bed. “How about you meet me outside when you’re done.”

You quickly check over to your mother, examining her. “Mom, you alright?”

Himari looks over to you, answering with a smile, not a line on her face — not a bag under her eyes. She chuckles. “I’m perfect.”

But it’s only temporary.

No emotion. No matter how long you stared at yourself in the mirror, forcing yourself to smile more naturally, as if you’re actually excited, it didn’t work. Everytime your smile dropped, you looked dead — as if you were a corpse.

Your nimble fingers touched the growing bags under your eyes, running them down to your chapped and picked lips. Pick yourself up, is all you could think to yourself. You needed to pick yourself up— today was the big day.

Licking your lips and slapping your cheeks, you were attempting to make yourself feel better. Once you tell yourself you’re fine — you’re happy — today’s the day…! You’ll begin to feel it. Manipulate yourself.

You’re fine,

Rubbing the honey flavored beeswax on your lips, starting to solve one problem at a time— chapstick, check.

You’re happy,

A little concealer would do the trick, the makeup artists at the venue would simply go over it— never assuming you have bags in the first place. Look alive, check.

Today’s the day.

You jumped once the sound of your door opening caught up to you, causing you to spin on your socks, almost blistering your feet. One hand covered your heart, the other gripping the vanity behind you.

“You scared the holy hell out of me.”

“Apologies, thought you heard me walking to the door. The floorboards in here are horribly loud.”

You shook your head, closing your eyes. “Yeah, they’re pretty bad.” Looking away, you tried to advert your attention out of the window, looking at the green tinted lake in your view.

Nanami eyes take the same path as yours, viewing the lake, before turning right back you. All over his face was written pity— you didn’t want to see it, nor did you want to hear it. All the man could do was pull out a pen and charm, the noise of it jingling catching your attention like a cat.

You turn to examine whatever just made noise, and then back up to Nanami. He raises the charm, shaking it a bit. “It’s a good luck charm. They’re omamoris, they carry protection. Plus, it’s blue. Tradition, right?”

You took a small step forward, holding your hands out to accept the gifts. “I’m pretty sure the maid of honor provides the blue?”

“I’m still pretty offended you never asked me.”

A small smile tugged on your lips, shaking your head afterwards as you held your gifts. Nanami couldn’t help but smile back— glad to see you show a bit of emotion. Gojo told him about the situation with your mother, he even offered to cancel some of your sessions, but that was the last thing you wanted.

Go train and fight, learn something new that can save you from dying in a few months, or sit and mope about your mother’s soon to be death. God, did you have to weigh your options?

“Thank you, Nanami.” You smile, placing your gifts down on the dresser behind you before walking back towards the man, holding your arms out.

He visibly grimaces, a little dramatic than normal, but only to see you smile once more. He walks into your arms, returning the hug, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“Who’s your maid of honor anyways?”

“Thank you, again. I mean— we’ve only know each other for a little, but I think we’re gonna be good friends. Respectfully, though. Since we’re… you know… I’m young and you’re old—”

Your eyes widened, immediately looking out of the curtain that was shielding you and your dress. She catches your view and covers her mouth, shaking her head, trying to cancel out what she had said.

“Maki, I think you’re nervous than I am.”

She nods, and you quickly close the curtain. You turned to see yourself in your dress, dove white — and skin tight, fabric spreading at your knees, long enough to drag behind you. A matching veil resting on your shoulders, covering your cut and bruised arms, dragging down with your dress. You felt beautiful.

Soft and gentle makeup, your hair was out of that pesky braid and ran down your back, nice and curled. The estimate length of your hair was about 50 inches straightened— you’d never cut it before, only trimming the dead ends off. For the first time in your life, you were wearing it out, showing everyone the true length. Not the pesky braid that ran down your shoulder everyday.

It was a good feeling.

“Y/N?” Your mother walked into your dressing room with another pair of footsteps, her voice booming with energy. Those few days in a coma really gave her a jump— she had never sounded this clear or this well in years.

The sound made the hair on your body bone, sending a shiver down your spine. “Ye—” You cleared your throat, brushing your hands down the dress. “Yes, mother?”

She blew out a sigh of relief, “I thought I missed the reveal,” Taking a spot next to Maki, she claps her hands together, her energy radiating over to the teenager next to her. “Okay, come out!”

You swallowed hard, making sure your overall appearance was okay. There wasn’t a hair out of place, all of it behind your shoulders, small pieces framing your face. You’re fine. You’re happy. Today is the day.

Both of the curtains were pulled back, revealing you and your new appearance. An appearance no one has seen before. Your mother gasps, cupping her mouth with her hands, tears swelling in her eyes. Maki smiles, holding her hands together and pressing them to her cheek, never taking her eyes off you. Was she swooning?

The second pair of footsteps, revealing a man in a black suit, hands deep in his pockets, has the slightest smile on his face. You’d only be able to notice if you squint— but you did. Your father looked… proud almost. Something you’ve never seen from him towards of you, only to your brother, Ryou.

After a few moments, you switch feet, growing uncomfortable at the silence. Of course, your maid of honor would immediately shut that down.

“You… wow. Look, you.. It’s wow. You look wow.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, taking a small step towards Maki. “Thank you. You all also look wow.”

The bridesmaids dresses were a soft orange— a color you specifically chose. You begged everyone involved in your wedding to switch all accents colors to orange, even if the wedding was two days prior. Orange. Your new favorite color.

“Y/N,” Your mother catches your attention, taking a step forward closer to you. Her soft hands cupped your cheeks, her brown eyes staring deep into yours. She looked so healthy, as if she wasn’t sick. As if she wouldn’t die tonight.

“You’re absolutely fascinating, I mean it.”

You never took your eyes off your mother, you couldn’t. With a smile, tears making a bargain to escape your eyes, your hands covered your mothers. “Thank you, mom.” You respond, tears slipping back into your eyes.

Your father took a step next to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. Once you looked up to him, he delivered the smallest and the only smile you’ve gotten from him your entire life. Maybe he did think you were beautiful— or maybe he was cherishing this last beautiful moment with his wife and daughter.

“You’re beautiful, Shio.”

“Thanks, dad.”

For a quick moment, your mother clasped your hand into hers and caught your attention, a devious smirk tugging on her lips. “I added something special in your suitcase. Open it when you get to your new house.” She winks, only making you roll your eyes.

The door swung open once more, interrupting the special moment between everyone in the room. A butler stood in the threshold, huffing in and out. “They’re— Theyre ready!” He switches sides of the door, holding it open for the bride, her maid of honor — and her parents.

You peek over to Maki, smiling over to the girl. “You ready to do this, maid of honor?”

She smiles back, being the first to exit the room. With both of your parents holding your hands, you followed her out, careful of your dress, careful of your emotions.

You’re fine. You’re happy. Today is the day.

(i nightly recommend playing this song while reading this part :D )

“Please rise.”

Over 200 guests all rise from their seats, turning to the threshold you were supposed to walk through. They all smiled with excitement, all waiting in anticipation for the first wedding of a born Shio woman… ever.

Once you began walking, holding both of your parents hands, you couldn’t help but look at everyone who was attending. A chuckle left your lips— and everyone’s eyes that were on you would’ve guessed it was genuine. You were happy. You were fine. That it was your day.

But it wasn’t— and they’re just all truly gullible. Your fathers holding your hand, proudly walking the daughter he never wanted up the steps— your mother on your opposite side, walking with a smile on her face as if she wasn’t going to be dead within a few hours.

And the man— the man who you would now call your husband— who doesn’t even like you. Gojo Satoru stood at the top of the steps, waiting for you to given to him— and given away by your parents. He wore a basic suit, but it didn’t look basic on him. His glasses were long gone, bright, azure blue eyes on display.

His snow—white hair was pulled by by gel, not too much, though. Just the right amount. Not too slick, not too messy. A piece of hair lingered and rested on his forehead, completing the look. Even though you wouldn’t tell him, he looked ravishing. Arranged marriage, yes, but at least it was with someone attractive.

Once your parents reached the steps, they released your hands before bowing, leaving you to walk up the final pair of steps alone. Here you were, being given away. These few seconds, the prolonged moment of you finishing the walk up the steps, would be the last time you’d be alone.

Step.

You’re going to be fine.

Step.

You’re going to be happy.

Step.

Today’s the big day.

Gojo took your hands, helping you up the final step, and assisting you in front of him. Your eyes are stuck on his hands, feeling his pale, bloom hands for the first time. They were pretty.

And while you admired your fiancée’s hands for the first time— he was too busy admiring you. He admired the way the warm, honey orange lights kissed your skin, causing your makeup to sparkle in the most subtle way. Once you both met eyes, he realized that you couldn’t look at him for more than ten seconds. Even though you tried to play it off, he noticed. He couldn’t help but stare at your hair too— he would’ve never guessed it was that long or healthy, it was pretty.

You were pretty.

And after the rehearsed vows, the rehearsed eye contact— fake smiles and the loveless kiss you both shared, you were now put in the middle of all the tables within the venue, music playing in background.

Despite your pleas, you were forced up with your husband, your arms now wrapped around his neck as his hands lazily rested on your hips. All you could do was sway, and looking into Gojo’s beautiful eyes, you were searching for something— anything. You couldn’t. No love. No hate. No interest.

“People are watching.”

You’d been so busy searching for something that wasn’t there, you didn’t realize he was speaking to you. You simply blink, adverting your attention back to Gojo. “Hm?”

He turns you away from the crowd slyly, peering down at you. “Might want to put a smile on that pretty face. Don’t want anyone thinkin’ we’re faking this, would we?”

He’s right, you didn’t even realize you hadn’t been smiling. Like you practiced. You let out a breath, forcing your eyes to squint— forcing the smile on your face, switching the flip on. Honestly, Gojo was impressed. Seeing it for himself, seeing how quickly you can put on an act, that’s a true skill.

You heard a cough within the hundreds of people watching, and you couldn’t help but turn back around and search for whoever it had been. Anyone could’ve been coughing— could’ve choked on their water. Swallowed their spit wrong. You wanted to see anyone else coughing but your mother.

And just to your luck, she began to stand, gripping onto your fathers arm with dear life. She had her hand over her mouth, shoulders hunching as she coughed into her palm quietly. Each step she took, she stumbled, there wasn’t much Sousuke could do to keep her up except hold her hand and waist.

You continued to dance, an arm around Gojo’s neck and a hand on his shoulder, gripping the material of his suit. He noticed, he noticed the demeanor change and the hold you had on him.

It took everything in you to look away, to look at your husband — not drawing attention to your mother and worry the many people in crowd.

Once your eyes met his, you saw a look on his face. The first emotion he’d ever shown you, the first time you could search and find something. It’s what you’ve been seeing from everyone else who knew about the situation. That stupid look you’ve seen too many times.

Pity.

For the rest of the ceremony, you were on your toes. As everyone began to eat and enjoy the food made by the talented caterers, you sat at your table, staring at the piece of cake you and Gojo sliced together.

During the slicing ceremony, he jabbed his pointer finger into the icing, popping it into his mouth with an exaggerated moan, giving the family what the wanted to see. Something domestic. You laughed with faux to his little stunt, and he returned the sarcasm by wiping some fresh icing onto your nose.

Disgustingly domestic.

Once you were both sat, he went off to talk to some of your family members— exchanging greetings and learning a little about the people who attended. You were alone at the table, waiting… just waiting for…

The door opened, revealing the same doctor who’d been taking care of your mother for years now. He doesn’t cause a scene, no one barely notices him— except for you. You noticed him, you knew why he was here, and you knew it was time.

Today’s the day.

You stood from your seat, fisting your veil and running towards the doctor. As if you were running away from all your problems. Running as if your mother was chasing you when you played tag. Running as if your mother was on her knees, arms wide open, waiting for you to jump into them.

The distance from your seat to the doctor at the door felt like you had been running for an hour, when it was only just a few seconds. For some reason, your chest had been tightening as if you just bodied those six miles. You were sweating as if you ran a marathon.

The doctor grabbed your hand once you were close and squeezed it softly before walking you out of the venue.

“She’s… lucid. It takes her very long to speak a sentence, every few minuets, her heart beats less than it had before. Despite all of that she’s…”

“Smiling,” You turned to look through the little window that exposed your mother’s condition. She looked like she did before her coma— before today. Quickly, you look back at the doctor. “She’s happy.”

Your doctor raises an eyebrow at you, confused at your statement. You simply chuckle, resting your shoulder against the door. “Her children are alive. Her son is strong and powerful. I’m married now… I have protection. It’s the only thing she’s cared about, and now she’s happy.”

“She’s happy where she is.”

The entire time you explained, your doctor felt his eyes water. He’s had a fair share of dying patients, but he’s been with you and your mother for some time— and you were right. She’s smiling despite her condition, she always smiled. Himari Shio and that god damn golden smile.

They tell doctors not to get attached to their patients, and he’s broken that rule.

“I think you should go in there now.”

You look from the window, to the doctor. You should. Do you want to? Of course not. Do you need to? Absolutely. You held onto the cold doorknob, sweaty palms now cooling down. You took a breath out.

“Thank you, Akito.” Your words were simple, but carried much emotion. If he wasn’t crying now, he was definitely going to start once you walked through that door.

And as soon as you entered the room, it felt warm. Like a sunny day. It smelled of linen and home. It was the opposite of what you walked into a few days ago. It was comforting for some sick and twisted reason.

Your eyes scanned over to your mother, watching her chest rise and fall slowly. Within seconds you were next to her, sat on the back of your legs, holding her warm hand.

Himari stirred, opening her eyes right at you. Her smile just grew, seeing you still in your wedding dress and makeup — seeing your hair fall down your back, and seeing those sad eyes glisten once they met hers.

“Had to take the spotlight, huh?”

She laughs weakly, collarbones going prominent when her chest fell. She didn’t have to speak, you could pick up on her answers without words. Her aura, her expressions, the grip on your hand— it answered everything.

After a while, your smile dropped, staring at your mother. Every breath you took in was shaky, and all those times you wanted cry, scream, ache and sob, it’s was bubbling up. And once your mother caught the ocean rising in your eyes, her face reeked of sympathy.

“Mommy.” Was all you could muster out before bursting. You blew, forehead dropping to her hand.

“Honey,” She scoots over in her bed slowly, tugging at your hand weakly to get you up. And you obliged, you took the space next to your mother like it was made for you. Like you were about to watch a movie with her. You buried your face into her neck, allowing yourself to cry.

You felt safe enough to do it.

“It’s going… to be just fine…” Himari sniffles, pressing a gentle kiss to your head. She turns to rest her arm on your waist and hold your hand with her other, keeping you snug next to her. “I’m gonna be with you…all the time.”

The sound of you breaking down into your neck made your mother feel sadness, but she wasn’t sad. She knew you were a strong woman— a woman who’d hold her own, no matter what. This was just a bump in the road, higher than any other bumps you’ve drove over. You’d just have to be careful. Know when to pump your breaks, know when to slow down, and when you’re ready to keep driving.

“My… strong baby.”

It hurt knowing that the only person who’d ever root for you, the only person who would defend you and encourage you, even if it’s your life on the line— was about to be gone. It hurt worse knowing that it was your mother.

“I don’t want you to go.” You cried, gripping onto the covers that was shielding your mother’s body. “You… we’re supposed to see me fight. And see me… possibly get my ass kicked.” You laughed through your sob.

Himari chuckles, coughing after. “I’ll see you…fight. I promise,” She feels herself breathing heavier, eyes now vignetting her vision. “You’ll win. …You’re the strongest.”

No matter how encouraging her words were, you couldn’t ignore the beeping slowing down on the monitor. It made you feel nauseous, like you’d hurl all over yourself and your mother. You tried to ignore the sound, replacing it with the sounds of a bell ringing on a bike; like yours when you were younger.

You’ll be fine,

Your mother mustered up all of her energy, squeezing you in her arms, another kiss pressing against your scalp. She smiles against your hair, eyes following the curls down your back and off the bed like a river. She loved the outdoors.

“I love you, Shio.”

You’ll be happy,

Himari looked around the room, and objects became items of the lake you both would sit by. The lamp was now a tree, shielding you both from the heavy sun. The lights were the rays escaping through the branches— and the two extra seats were now large rocks you’d sit on if you weren’t playing with the water.

And there you were, now laying in her lap, your little braid resting against your back as you napped. Her hand was on your head, running her nails through your scalp just how you enjoyed. Your little hands fisted her pajama pants, and there was just a little drool on her fabric.

Her eyes peered up to the sky. She could see the sun without it affecting her vision— looking right into the light. Himari has heard stories about the sun not really being orange, despite how they’d color it in children’s book. It’s white. She’s always wanted to be able to look at the sun without it affecting her vision.

She loved outdoors.

She’s always wanted her children to succeed, her son to be powerful— her daughter just as powerful. They were both so determined, so young and lucky. They were strong.

All of her dreams were coming true.

Today’s the day.

The occasional ring to your bells bike now stopped, and the only thing that could heard was the never ending sound of your mothers fate. The strong grip she had around you loosened, and the cheek rested against your head became heavier.

There was that scream you’d been wanting to bubble down.

©️RYUJNN: 01/02/2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.D. do not translate, plagiarize or remake any of my work! reposting my work is allowed — likes, reblogs & comments are appreciated.

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