#i like how they’re doing this and in like an hour they’ll be like
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Somno as a way to brat tame is so underrated
Imagine a brat, tired from a long day of acting up, never truly giving in the whole time but they’re completely exhausted after putting up a fight for so long. They innocently fall asleep, proud of their defiance and you just let It happen because you know their training is about to start.
After a while, long enough to where they’re deeper in sleep, it’s all to easy to pull their clothes aside and start gently teasing wherever they’re most sensative. For some that might be their chest, but more commonly clit/ tdick/frenulum will do the trick. Carefully start circling it and tracing it up and down at a painfully slow pace. Normally this would be torturous but their sleeping body is gonna take whatever you want to give it, no complaints. Then just take your time and have patience. You get to enjoy the show of hearing their little soft breathy moans and seeing their face wince between whines. An honest expression of how good they feel, a refreshing change from the normal defiance and snarky comments.
The goal from here on out is just to tease them for as long as possible. Enjoy feeling as they get miserably hard or messy. You want to toy with them an amount they absolutely could not withstand if they were awake. Just be careful not to push them over the edge and actually let them cum, they need to ride that line for as long as possible. Once they’re sufficiently primed and you’ve gotten a good eye and earful of their embarrassing involuntary reactions just fix their clothes a bit and pretend to roll, or nudge into them in your sleep. Not so much that it’s obvious you’re doing it on purpose but just enough to wake them up inconspicuously.
If all goes well they’ll groggily get up and get hit by a wave of crippling arousal. Almost as if they’d been getting denied for hours. It’s hard to even rationally with how deliriously needy they feel but your brat will quickly realize they have a decision to make. Do they wake you up so you can help relieve them, or do they try to get themselves off without you knowing. Going back to bed is nearly impossible at this point so it’s going to be one or the other.
If they wake you up make sure to really rub their face in how embarrassing this is. Have them communicate in detail how desperate they are and make them beg, apologize and humiliate themselves for your help. They should be essentially broken by the beginning thanks to your hard work. You can either not mention that you toyed with them in their sleep and just start letting them believe they’re so much of a slut waking up desperately horny is a new trait they have or around the time you get them close to finishing you can tell them all the details of what you did, and how cutely they reacted, let them realize how easily they were trained to obediently come to you for relief.
If they try to get off themselves that works too. Just pretend to sleep while you listen carefully to their moans and whines. When they start getting more frequent and hectic, letting you know they’re close, simply wake up and catch them red handed. Then you get to tease and make fun of them for being so much of a pervert they tried to get off next to you while you weren’t awake. You’ll watch their face get all red and shy, a lot more pleasant than the usual defiance. Then they are faced with another decision, do they keep going and jerk off in-front of you like a depraved whore, or do they now start begging you for your help. I think that’s definitely the most humiliating combination of outcomes. But after all that teasing and almost getting close themselves, they’re just gonna be desperate for bodily relief, dignity at the wayside. You can really make them beg after that level of humiliation. Then you can hold how desperate they were over their head. After all, that was all of their own volition, as far as they know you didn’t do anything, only have themselves to blame. You can keep up consistent night training if you really want to ensure their obedience. generally just consider adding somno to your routine brat training, it really messes with their head more than most other methods and has them convinced they’re a total needy pervert.
#wrote this for my dog in dm’s then adapted it for a post#thank you jay#trans nsft#t4t nsft#mtf dom#mtf nsft#ftm nsft#somno k!nk#somno fantasy#cnc somno#somnophillia#ftm somno#bd/sm brat#cnc brat#brat taming#gooobraghhh text
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-ˋˏ The week it all went south ˎˊ-
Part 1
Pairing: Azriel x Rhysand's sister!reader
Azriel has the perfect life. You as his wife. Kaia as his daughter. But him and the boys are stupid enough to challenge you for a week and then his perfect life might simply...disappear
Warning: FUTURE ANGST, mentions of past lovers, mentions of sex, cursing, kissing.
Word count: 13937
Rhysand's office was dimly lit, the soft glow of faelight casting long shadows over the dark mahogany furniture. The air smelled faintly of leather, ink, and the rich tang of spiced wine. Cassian leaned back in one of the armchairs, swirling the amber liquid in his glass, while Azriel sat with his customary stillness, though his eyes betrayed the warmth of someone entirely at ease. Rhysand, perched on the edge of his desk, held his own drink with the casual elegance he always seemed to exude.
“Remind me again,” Cassian said, breaking the comfortable silence. “Why do we still have to deal with these Illyrian males who think they’re gods’ gift to training camps? I’ve been dealing with one this week who couldn’t even hold his sword properly, and he still had the audacity to call himself a warrior.”
Rhysand snorted, taking a sip of his drink. “Because if we don’t, they’ll tear themselves apart—or worse, decide to revolt again. You’re good at handling them, Cass.”
“Good at handling them?” Cassian scoffed. “I’ve got three sons at home who listen better than most of those arrogant bastards.”
Rhysand smirked. “That says more about Nesta than it does you.”
Azriel chuckled softly, the sound rare but genuine. “How are your boys doing, anyway?”
Cassian’s face softened instantly, a smile tugging at his lips. “Torran’s growing too fast. He’s already outpacing me in drills. Emrys is still too young to care about swords, which drives Torran insane. And little Calen—” He shook his head, laughing. “That one’s going to be the death of me. He’s climbing everything he sees. Nesta caught him on the roof last week.”
Azriel raised a brow. “The roof?”
Cassian nodded grimly. “Nesta nearly burned the house down when she found him. I don’t know whether to be proud or terrified. Probably both.”
Rhysand laughed, tipping his glass toward Cassian. “Sounds like you’ve got your hands full.”
“And you don’t?” Cassian shot back. “How’s Nyx? Still giving you and Feyre a run for your money?”
Rhysand sighed dramatically. “Thirteen is...a challenge. He’s inherited Feyre’s stubbornness and my sharp tongue, which is a dangerous combination.”
Cassian snorted. “Sounds like poetic justice to me.”
Rhysand ignored him. “He’s growing into his powers faster than we expected. Sometimes I don’t know whether to be proud or worried. Feyre’s convinced he’s going to be stronger than both of us one day.”
“He probably will be,” Azriel said simply, his voice laced with quiet confidence.
Rhysand tilted his head, considering. “Maybe. But I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.”
Azriel shook his head slightly, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Nyx will outpace you before you know it.”
Cassian grinned. “And then you’ll know what it feels like when your kids don’t need you to teach them anymore.”
Rhysand rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. He turned to Azriel. “Speaking of kids, how’s Kaia?”
Azriel’s expression softened instantly, the shadows around him retreating. “She’s...perfect. Curious about everything. She spent half an hour today chasing after her own shadow, trying to figure out why it wouldn’t go away.” His voice was tinged with amusement and an unmistakable love.
Cassian leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “And YN? Is she keeping up with her?”
Azriel gave a quiet laugh. “Barely. Kaia’s too quick for her own good. YN says she’s going to start making me run after her when she gets tired.”
Rhysand smirked. “You always were the fastest, Az. Seems fitting.”
Azriel shot him a look, though it lacked any real venom. “I’ll remind you of that when you’re chasing Nyx through Velaris at two in the morning.”
Cassian laughed, raising his glass in a mock toast. “To fatherhood. The most exhausting battle we’ve ever fought.”
The other two raised their glasses, the clink of crystal filling the room.
Rhysand’s gaze flicked between them, his expression uncharacteristically soft. “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?”
Cassian nodded, his tone uncharacteristically serious. “Yeah, we have.”
The door to Rhysand's office creaked open just enough for a small, tousled head to peek inside. Azriel’s sharp gaze flicked to the doorway, his eyes softening as Kaia’s little feet padded across the stone floor. Without hesitation, she ran straight to him, her tiny wings fluttering in a haphazard attempt to take off.
“Dada!” she squealed, her voice high-pitched and filled with excitement. She launched herself into his arms with a giggle, and Azriel caught her effortlessly, pulling her close.
“Kaia,” Azriel murmured, pressing a kiss to her messy hair. “What are you doing up, sweetheart?”
She tilted her head, big amber eyes that mirrored his looking up at him with feigned innocence. “I no want bath,” she said, wrinkling her little nose in distaste. Her chubby arms wrapped around him tighter. “Mama say I need bath... but I hide!”
Azriel’s lips twitched at the sight of her determination. “You hid from your mama to come find me?”
Kaia nodded vigorously, her curls bouncing with every movement. “Ye! I run real fast! Hide so no bath! No bath, Dada!” Her words were still jumbled with her toddler speech, but the meaning was clear enough.
Cassian leaned forward in his chair, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “What about me, huh? I don’t get a hug?”
Kaia squinted at him, brows furrowing as if trying to understand. After a moment, she shook her head and pointed a finger at him accusingly. “You too loud!” she declared with absolute certainty, her little lips pouting. “You talk all da time. I no like.”
Cassian laughed, throwing his head back. “Too loud? I’m the fun one, Kaia. You can’t just pick favourites like that.”
But Kaia was already halfway out of his reach, shifting in Azriel’s lap as she snuggled in closer to him. Her tiny hands reached up and tugged at Rhysand’s dark hair, as if the pull of his long strands was just too tempting.
“Rhysie,” she said with a giggle, her toddler voice softening the name into something both endearing and mischievous. Rhysand chuckled, allowing her to yank on his hair without complaint.
“You’re a little troublemaker, Kaia,” Rhysand said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as she pulled harder, then instantly snuggled back into Azriel’s side.
“Don’t pull on Rhysie’s hair, sweetling,” Azriel said gently, though there was a fond smile on his face. He wrapped an arm tighter around her as she cuddled against his chest, clearly not bothered by his warning.
“No bath!” Kaia protested again, her speech barely coherent as she pouted. “Mama no get me! I run! I hide!” She giggled again, clearly proud of herself. “Mama say I need clean. I say no! I say no bath, no bath, no bath!”
Azriel shook his head, chuckling softly as he ran his fingers through her dark hair. “You’re very clever, little one.” He looked at the others, sharing a silent understanding that there was no way Kaia was going back to the bath tonight.
Cassian grinned. “Alright, no bath. But only if you tell me a secret first, Kaia.”
She leaned back in Azriel’s lap, her tiny face scrunched up in thought. “A secret?” she asked, sounding very serious for a two-year-old.
“Yes, a secret,” Cassian insisted. “Tell me something nobody else knows.”
Kaia looked around the room, her eyes narrowing as she thought harder. Then, after a long pause, she smiled brightly. “I cookies,” she whispered loudly, leaning in to make sure Cassian heard. “I no share cookie.”
Everyone laughed, even Rhysand shaking his head with a smile. “That’s a secret?” he teased.
Kaia nodded vigorously. “Big swecret!” she insisted, then looked up at Azriel with all the sweetness in the world. “Dada... no bath?”
Azriel kissed the top of her head. “No bath tonight, sweetheart. But you’ve gotta let me have a drink with the guys now, okay?”
Kaia looked at him seriously, her little brows furrowing. “I no want drink. I want you,” she said, her tone pleading.
Azriel’s heart softened. “I’m here,” he whispered. “Always.”
Kaia settled back into his arms, clearly satisfied. “Okay, Dada. You stay.”
Kaia, content and warm in Azriel’s arms, relaxed into him, her little body soft and pliable as she burrowed closer. Azriel’s wings adjusted slightly, folding around her like a protective cocoon as she curled up against his chest, her tiny hands clasping at the fabric of his tunic. Her hair—so dark and wild—spilled across his arm, and her breath came slow and steady as she began to doze off, her toddler body relaxing against the weight of his warmth.
The low murmur of conversation from the men around them filled the air, but Kaia wasn’t paying attention. Instead, her tiny fingers traced the markings on his arm absentmindedly, her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. She was already half asleep, the soft and steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling her further.
Cassian was leaning back in his chair, hands folded behind his head, giving Azriel a teasing look. "You know, I thought Azriel was the quiet one," he said, glancing toward Rhysand with a raised brow. "But now we’ve got the next generation in here, and she’s already taking after her dad. Quiet as a shadow."
Azriel chuckled softly, a quiet sound that only made Kaia snuggle deeper into him. “She doesn’t stay quiet when she wants something,” he murmured, though his voice held the tenderness that came with his love for her.
Rhysand, ever the calm presence, took a slow sip of his drink. “She has a strong will,” he said thoughtfully. “Wonder where she got that from? You or my sister?” He shot a playful glance toward Azriel.
Azriel only gave him a quiet look of warning, his fingers running through Kaia’s soft hair as her breath deepened, little snores just beginning to escape her. He spoke in a low, affectionate tone. “She’s more than just willful. She’s clever. She knows how to get what she wants.”
Cassian grinned. “She’s got you wrapped around her finger already, doesn’t she?”
Azriel’s gaze softened as he looked down at her, his wings fluttering lightly in the quiet, the weight of her trust settling over him. “She knows exactly how to work her way around me.”
“She’s two,” Cassian teased. “Wait until she’s ten, and she’ll have you wrapped up in knots.”
“I’ll be ready,” Azriel said with a soft smile, though the idea of her growing up so quickly left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. He kissed her forehead gently, almost imperceptibly, as she murmured something unintelligible in her sleep.
The conversation drifted away from him as he allowed himself to enjoy this brief, peaceful moment with his daughter, the calm of the room enveloping them. But as the men continued to talk, there was a soft shuffle of footsteps, and Kaia’s small head jerked up from Azriel’s chest, her sleepy eyes blinking rapidly.
“Dada,” she whispered, her little voice thick with sleep. “Mama?”
Azriel stroked her hair gently, reassuring her. “It’s alright, sweetheart. Go back to sleep.”
But Kaia’s curiosity had already taken over. She sat up suddenly, rubbing her eyes as she looked around the room. "Mama? I hide!” she said with a gleam of mischief in her voice, suddenly more awake and alert. Her eyes darted across the room as if calculating the best place to hide from YN. Without warning, she hopped off Azriel’s lap, her tiny wings fluttering in excitement. She scampered to the couch and dove under the blanket with an exaggerated puff of air, pulling it over her head, only her little feet sticking out.
Azriel watched her with a fond, amused expression, shaking his head slightly. “Kaia, you can’t keep hiding from Mama,” he warned softly, though there was no real reprimand in his tone.
Kaia’s voice came from under the blanket, muffled but still clear. “Mama no find me,” she said with utter confidence. Her tiny legs wiggled, her feet kicking the blanket in her excitement. “I hide, Dada! I good at hide!”
Cassian and Rhysand both chuckled at the sight. Rhysand’s eyes twinkled as he looked over at Azriel. “Looks like she’s more like you than we thought. You used to hide from your problems too.”
Azriel gave him a pointed look. “I don’t hide.”
“Of course not,” Rhysand said smoothly, though there was an unmistakable smirk on his face. “Kaia certainly doesn’t.”
Kaia, apparently content with her decision to hide, made little giggling noises from beneath the blanket. Azriel’s wings unfolded slightly in amusement, and he reached for her, gently pulling back the blanket to find her face all scrunched up in concentration as she tried to remain hidden.
“I see you, little one,” Azriel said softly, and Kaia’s giggles broke free as she peeked out, eyes wide with a mix of delight and mischief.
“I’m good hide, Dada!” she announced, her tiny hands still clutching at the blanket.
Azriel smiled, brushing a lock of hair from her face as she crawled back onto his lap, snuggling against him once more. “You are, sweetheart. But no more hiding from Mama. She’s coming.”
Kaia frowned for a moment, but the promise of staying with her daddy seemed to cheer her up. “No Mama. No bath,” she muttered, her speech still jumbled but full of intent. “Hide more!”
Azriel chuckled, knowing full well that this little one would give her mama a run for her money.
The soft sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway before the door to Rhysand’s office creaked open, and you stepped inside. Immediately, your eyes flicked to the sight before you—Azriel, seated comfortably in one of the chairs, his dark wings enveloping his daughter, who was curled up in his lap, asleep but still warm from the lingering glow of her playful energy.
You smirked as you took in the scene. Cassian and Rhysand were deep in conversation, but both looked up at you the moment you entered, the tension of their talks easing into an unspoken amusement. They’d seen that look before—the one where you were hunting for something (or someone) you didn’t want to admit was far too skilled at evading capture.
“I’m searching for a runaway,” you said with a teasing lilt to your voice, crossing your arms. Your gaze fell onto the small figure tucked against Azriel’s chest, her hair a wild halo of dark curls, her little body completely at ease despite her escape attempt.
Azriel’s head tilted slightly as he met your eyes, and a soft smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He knew exactly what you were talking about.
“You mean Kaia, don’t you?” Rhysand’s voice was dry, but the glint in his eyes betrayed his amusement. “I’m sure she’s hiding from you because she knows exactly what’s coming.”
“I’m sure she’s just lost in thought,” Azriel replied, though the way he shifted Kaia gently in his arms suggested he was trying to keep her in her comfortable cocoon. “She was really adamant about not needing a bath.”
“Oh, she’s very good at that,” you said, walking further into the room. “I thought I’d check in with you guys, but it looks like you’ve got her well in hand.” You looked pointedly at Azriel, whose face had softened as he ran his fingers through Kaia’s hair.
Kaia shifted in Azriel’s lap, her eyes half-lidded, but she was still awake, and the moment she heard your voice, her little face scrunched up in exaggerated suspicion. She slowly lifted her head, her tiny wings fluttering behind her as she tried to blink the sleep from her eyes.
“No Mama!” Kaia protested, throwing her arms over her face as if it would somehow shield her from the inevitable. “Hide! I hide, no bath!”
You sighed dramatically, taking a step closer, feigning exasperation. “Kaia, sweetheart, don’t you want to be all nice and clean for the night? I was just coming to check on my two favourite people, but I see that one of them is being a little troublemaker.” You crouched down in front of her, smiling at her defiant little pout.
She peeked from beneath her arms, and her lip trembled, her voice barely a whisper. “No Mama. No bath. I hide. I hide from Mama, Dada.”
Azriel chuckled softly, his voice low and soothing. “She’s good at hiding, love. I’ve tried to tell her it’s not going to work.”
“Oh, I know it won’t work,” you said, reaching out to pull the blanket off her tiny form. “But it’s adorable to watch her try.”
Kaia giggled as the blanket was pulled away, exposing her to you. Her small hands shot up to her face again in an attempt to shield herself. “No, no, no bath! I hide. I good hide!”
“You are a very good hider, sweetheart.” You reached down to scoop her up gently, ignoring her protest. She squirmed a little but melted against you when she realized there was no escape. “But no more running. It’s time for a bath.”
Kaia, however, wasn’t about to give up so easily. “I no need bath,” she declared with a loud puff of air. “I already clean! I clean!”
Rhysand’s laugh echoed through the room. “I believe that’s a no, then.”
You shot him a quick, amused glance. “A very determined no, at that. I think she might be more stubborn than any of us.”
Azriel’s eyes softened as he gazed at Kaia, still nestled against you. “She gets that from her mother.”
“She might also get it from her father,” you teased, raising an eyebrow as you shifted Kaia onto your hip.
“Not that much,” Azriel protested, though the warmth in his voice made it clear he didn’t mind at all.
“I’ll let you both deal with her when she’s three,” you said, already walking toward the door with Kaia clinging to you like a tiny koala. “For now, she’s still in the stage where she’s cute enough to get away with anything.”
Cassian laughed. “Good luck with that, YN. I’ve had a lot of practice with troublemakers, but I’m pretty sure Kaia’s going to be next-level.”
You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’m well aware, Cassian.”
Azriel’s eyes followed you as you walked out the door, Kaia’s arms wrapped tightly around you. “You sure you want to take her?”
You glanced back at him and smiled, a playful glint in your eyes. “She’s your daughter, Azriel. I think you’ve had your turn.”
Kaia let out a loud whine, her small hand tugging at your collar. “No bath!” she repeated, her toddler words still as adorably clear as ever. “I no bath, Mama!”
“I know, sweetheart. I know,” you said, kissing her forehead.
As you carried Kaia toward the door, her little protests still filling the air, you paused and turned back to the three men lounging in the office. Cassian was leaning so far back in his chair it looked like he might tip over, Rhysand was swirling his drink with all the leisure of a man who had nothing but time, and Azriel—well, Azriel was looking at you with that calm, unruffled expression, even though you knew he was just as guilty as the other two.
You narrowed your eyes playfully. “You know, I have a theory,” you said, bouncing Kaia slightly as she rested her head against your shoulder.
“A theory, hmm?” Rhysand drawled, one brow arching as he took another slow sip of his drink. “Do enlighten us.”
You smirked. “It’s funny how every time Feyre, Nesta, and I are up to our necks with the kids—” you glanced at Azriel meaningfully, “—all of you somehow end up here. Drinking. Relaxing. Laughing like life is oh-so-easy.”
Cassian snorted, his grin widening as he set his drink down. “We’re strategizing,” he said, far too defensively to be believable. “Important things. Illyrian training. You know, for the next generation.”
“Right,” you said, shifting Kaia to your other hip. “Strategizing. Because obviously, the best way to deal with a horde of screaming children is to sit in Rhysand’s office with a glass of whiskey.”
“I think it’s working,” Rhysand chimed in smoothly, giving you a wink. “Look how relaxed we are.”
Kaia, as if on cue, perked up just enough to lift her head and point a chubby finger at Rhysand. “Rhysie no help!” she declared, her toddler voice loud and certain.
You grinned. “Exactly, Kaia. Rhysie no help.” You turned toward the door, raising your voice just enough to carry down the hallway. “Nesta! You’ve got to come see this. The boys are in here strategizing while we’re busy running after all the kids.”
A moment later, you heard footsteps approaching, quick and purposeful, and then Nesta appeared in the doorway, her sharp gaze sweeping over the room. “Let me guess,” she said, crossing her arms and tilting her head. “Drinking and lounging while we’re doing all the work?”
Cassian, who had the audacity to look pleased to see her, leaned back even further in his chair. “We’re taking a much-needed break, sweetheart. You know how exhausting strategizing can be.”
Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Strategizing, huh? And what exactly have you been strategizing, Cassian?”
“Training,” Cassian replied smoothly. “The future. Our sons.”
Nesta rolled her eyes. “Of course. You’re strategizing, and we’re dealing with three boys who’ve decided that walls are optional for flying practice.”
Cassian sat up straighter, a smirk playing at his lips. “That sounds like good training to me.”
Nesta shot him a look that could have frozen the Sidra. “It’s destruction, Cassian.”
Kaia, catching onto the tension, buried her face against your shoulder, peeking out just enough to whisper, “Cassy in trouble?”
“Yes, Kaia,” you said, grinning. “Cassy’s in big trouble.”
Azriel, who had been quietly observing the exchange with an amused smile, finally spoke up. “To be fair,” he said softly, “the boys did ask for a break.”
“Of course they did,” you said, shaking your head. “Meanwhile, Feyre and I had to chase Nyx off the roof again, and Nesta’s youngest is trying to figure out how to set a trap for the twins.”
Rhysand chuckled, raising his glass toward Nesta. “To the mothers of the Inner Circle. The true warriors among us.”
Nesta raised a brow but didn’t take the bait. “You’re lucky we haven’t strung all of you up yet.”
Cassian leaned forward, grinning as he motioned toward the empty chair next to him. “Why don’t you join us, sweetheart? You deserve a break, too.”
Nesta sighed but finally walked over, claiming the chair with a regal grace. She glanced at you as you shifted Kaia again, who had started to drift off once more. “I’m not doing this alone, YN,” she said. “Feyre deserves to see this, too.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” you replied, smirking as you moved toward the door. “I’m going to send her in next. Let’s see how long your little strategy session lasts once the rest of us are here.”
Azriel’s quiet laugh followed you out, and you heard Cassian groan, “She’s bluffing, right?”
Rhysand’s amused voice was the last thing you heard before you turned the corner. “You know better than that, Cassian.”
You didn’t make it far before you paused, a smirk creeping across your face. “You know what? Feyre does need to see this now.” Adjusting Kaia on your hip, you turned back toward the hallway and called out, “Feyre! You might want to come take a look at this.”
The sound of footsteps echoed moments later, and Feyre appeared, her hair slightly mussed, her expression one of mild exasperation. “What is it now? Did Nyx try to jump off something again?”
“Not this time,” you said, gesturing toward the office. “But you’ll want to see what our fearless mates and brothers are up to while we’re busy chasing after their children.”
Feyre raised a brow and stepped into the room, her gaze sweeping over the scene—the three men lounging in comfort, glasses of whiskey in hand, all looking far too pleased with themselves.
“Well, well,” Feyre said, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe. “What do we have here? A secret meeting?”
Rhysand’s lips curved into a slow smile as he gestured to the empty seat next to him. “Join us, darling. We were just discussing the intricacies of basic Illyrian training.”
Feyre scoffed, striding further into the room. “Basic Illyrian training, hmm? Is that what you call this little boys’ club?”
“I think it’s cute,” you chimed in, bouncing Kaia slightly as she started to squirm. “They’re pretending they’re doing something important while we’re out there making sure their children don’t destroy Velaris.”
Nesta, still seated beside Cassian, smirked and gestured toward Feyre. “Take a seat. I’m sure they’ll explain how their ‘strategizing’ is critical to the survival of the Night Court.”
Feyre shook her head, but there was amusement in her eyes as she looked at Rhysand. “You know, Rhys, I’m starting to think we deserve a break.”
“A break?” Rhysand echoed, tilting his head. “From what, darling? Surely you’re not suggesting life with our children is anything less than a joy.”
You snorted. “Oh, it’s a joy, alright. Especially when Nyx decides to start a game of tag on the roof, or Cassian’s boys decide to see if they can break through a wall with their wings.”
“They’re learning structural integrity,” Cassian said defensively, though his grin betrayed him.
“And how exactly is that helping us?” Nesta asked, her tone sharp as she fixed him with a glare. “Do you know how many walls we’ve had to repair this month?”
Azriel stayed quiet, his hand lightly rubbing Kaia’s back as she snuggled against him, but his lips twitched in amusement.
Feyre stepped closer to Rhysand, placing her hands on the back of his chair. “You know, I think we deserve a week off. No kids. Just us. Let’s see how well you three manage without us.”
Rhysand arched a brow, his voice smooth as silk. “A week off? Are you implying we can’t handle our own children?”
“I don’t know,” you said, shifting Kaia again as she started to doze off. “Can you handle Kaia’s nightly escape attempts? Or Nyx’s tendency to challenge gravity at every opportunity?”
Nesta smirked. “What about when the twins decide they’re inventing a new game that requires smashing furniture?”
Cassian leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “Please. We’ve handled far worse.”
“Oh, really?” Feyre asked, her tone dripping with challenge. “Then let’s make it official. One week. No help. No Feyre, no YN, no Nesta. Just the three of you and all the kids.”
Rhysand leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he gave her a slow, considering smile. “And what would the three of you be doing during this week of freedom?”
“Anything we want,” you replied immediately, grinning. “No schedules. No messes to clean. No nightly tantrums.”
Nesta’s voice was firm. “And no repairing walls.”
Azriel glanced down at Kaia, his gaze softening. “You’d really leave us alone for a week?”
“Yes,” you said, though your heart warmed at the way he was glancing at your daughter. “And you’d survive. Maybe.”
Cassian grinned, leaning toward Azriel and Rhysand. “Come on, boys. How hard could it be?”
Rhysand’s gaze flicked toward Feyre, full of mischief. “Challenge accepted.”
Feyre smirked. “You’ll regret that by the end of the first day.”
You laughed, Kaia stirring slightly as you kissed the top of her head. “We’ll pack our bags tonight. Good luck, gentlemen. You’re going to need it.”
You grinned, shifting Kaia onto your hip as you leaned against the doorframe. “You know, Feyre, Nesta, and I could always go to the Day Court for the week. Helion would love to take us in. No kids, plenty of sunshine, and a lot less chaos.”
Cassian sat up straight, feigning offense. “The Day Court? You’d betray us like that?”
“Oh, it’s not betrayal,” Nesta said with a smirk, tapping her fingers on the armrest of her chair. “It’s survival. And besides, Helion has excellent taste. He knows how to treat his guests.”
Rhysand arched a brow at Feyre, his expression amused. “You’d run off to Helion? Really, darling? Aren’t I enough?”
Feyre tilted her head, pretending to consider. “Well, Helion does throw very good parties. And he doesn’t make me chase a child off the roof.”
Before Rhysand could respond, a loud, familiar voice interrupted.
“NO!”
Nyx came barreling into the room, his curls bouncing as he skidded to a stop in front of you. His eyes were wide with panic, and his wings flared slightly behind him as he planted himself firmly in your path.
“You can’t leave them in charge!” Nyx declared, pointing dramatically at his father, Cassian, and Azriel. “Not again! They’ll ruin everything!”
Rhysand leaned back in his chair, his expression equal parts amused and offended. “Excuse me, young man. What exactly are you accusing us of?”
Nyx turned on him, his hands on his hips. “The last time you were in charge, Uncle Cassian said I could ‘fly like an Illyrian,’ and then—” He flapped his arms wildly for emphasis. “And then I broke my arm!”
Cassian burst out laughing, clapping a hand on his chest. “That was a learning experience, Nyx. Every Illyrian has to learn how to fall at some point.”
“I didn’t fall!” Nyx shouted, glaring at him. “You threw me!”
“I did not throw you!” Cassian protested, though his grin was far too wide to be convincing.
Nyx crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed. “You threw me, and then you told Mama it was an accident. I’m still not allowed to go anywhere with you by myself!”
Feyre pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering under her breath about reckless behavior and bad influences. “He’s not wrong, Cassian. You did throw him.”
“I helped him fly,” Cassian corrected, raising his hands defensively.
Nyx turned to you, his expression pleading. “You can’t leave us with them! Uncle Azriel doesn’t even let me hold his knives, and Dad just makes me sit and listen to boring stories about being High Lord.”
Azriel chuckled quietly from his seat, his hand still resting protectively on Kaia’s back as she began to doze. “I’m not letting you hold my knives, Nyx. You’re thirteen, not thirty.”
Nyx huffed, his wings twitching in frustration. “I can fight! I’m strong!”
“You’re also grounded,” Feyre said firmly, cutting off whatever argument he was about to make. “And if you’re trying to talk us out of going to the Day Court, it’s not working.”
Nyx’s eyes widened as he looked between you, Feyre, and Nesta. “You’re really going to leave me with them? Mama, you can’t!”
Rhysand smirked, leaning forward to ruffle Nyx’s hair. “Don’t worry, son. We’ll take excellent care of you.”
“That’s what you said last time,” Nyx muttered darkly, stepping away and turning toward the door. “I’m telling Aunt Amren. She’ll stop you.”
Nesta snorted, shaking her head. “Amren’s the one who suggested this in the first place. She said we’ve ‘earned’ it.”
You grinned, watching as Nyx stormed off, muttering under his breath about unfair treatment and irresponsible adults. Turning back to the three men, you tilted your head. “Well, there you have it. Even your own son doesn’t trust you to handle this.”
Rhysand sighed dramatically, lifting his drink. “Clearly, I’ve raised a traitor.”
Cassian laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Rhys. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Azriel didn’t say a word, but the slight twitch of his wings and the quiet laugh that escaped him said everything.
You smiled sweetly, adjusting Kaia on your hip. “Let me know how that attitude works out for you when we’re gone. We’ll be sure to send Helion your love.”
Feyre and Nesta smirked in unison as you all turned to leave, already planning the week of freedom ahead.
-----
The house was quiet, the kind of stillness that only came after all the children had finally settled into sleep. Kaia had been tucked into her bed hours ago, her tiny wings carefully draped over her blanket as she drifted off without a care in the world. The boys had stayed up later than usual, their laughter echoing through the halls until Azriel finally sent them off to their rooms with firm but gentle reminders about the chaos they’d already caused today.
Now, it was just you.
You stood in the bedroom, a soft glow from the bedside lamp illuminating the suitcase open on the bed. You were methodically folding clothes—light dresses, comfortable shoes, and a few things Feyre and Nesta had sworn were “perfect for the Day Court.” A small smile tugged at your lips as you thought about the week ahead. The idea of a break, of sunshine and relaxation with no children demanding your attention, felt like a dream.
The door creaked open behind you, and you didn’t need to turn to know who it was.
“Still packing?” Azriel’s voice was soft, laced with that calm, steady warmth you adored.
You glanced over your shoulder, catching sight of him leaning against the doorframe. His hair was slightly tousled, his shoulders relaxed now that the day’s chaos had come to an end. His gaze swept over the room, lingering on the suitcase before meeting your eyes.
“You know,” he said, pushing off the doorframe and walking toward you, “I could still talk you out of this.”
You smirked, turning back to the suitcase as you folded another dress. “Oh, you could, could you?”
He came to stand beside you, his wings rustling slightly as he leaned against the bedpost. “Absolutely,” he said, his tone low and teasing. “Just say the word, and I’ll convince Feyre and Nesta that this trip isn’t necessary.”
You raised a brow, glancing up at him with a playful smile. “And how exactly would you do that? Bribery? Threats? Or are you planning to charm us into staying?”
Azriel’s lips twitched, his hazel eyes shining with amusement. “I was thinking charm, actually. It usually works on you.”
You laughed, shaking your head as you placed another item in the suitcase. “Not this time, Shadowsinger. I’m going, and there’s nothing you can say to change my mind.”
He watched you for a moment, his expression softening. “You deserve it,” he said quietly. “All of you do. But… Kaia’s going to miss you.”
You paused, your hands stilling on the edge of the suitcase. “Kaia’s going to miss me?” You looked at him, raising a skeptical brow. “She spent the entire day glued to your side, Az. If anything, she’s going to forget I exist.”
Azriel chuckled, his wings shifting as he straightened. “She loves her mama. Even if she’s too stubborn to admit it sometimes.”
You smiled, your heart warming at the thought of your daughter. “She gets that from you, you know.”
He stepped closer, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. His fingers lingered, his touch gentle as he studied you. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should,” you said, your voice softer now. “She’s lucky to have you.”
Azriel’s gaze held yours, his hand dropping to rest on your waist. “We’re both lucky to have you.”
For a moment, the two of you stood there in silence, the weight of the day melting away. His hand was warm against your side, grounding you in a way only he could.
“You’re really okay with this?” you asked quietly, your fingers brushing against the fabric of his shirt. “Me leaving for a whole week?”
He smiled, a rare, genuine thing that made your heart flutter. “I’ll miss you,” he admitted, his thumb tracing small circles against your hip. “But I’ll survive. And so will Kaia. Somehow.”
You laughed softly, leaning into him as his wings folded slightly around you. “I don’t know who I should be more worried about—her or you.”
“Definitely me,” he teased, pressing a kiss to your temple. “But I’ll try to manage without you.”
You tilted your head up, meeting his gaze. “You’ll do more than manage. You’ll be amazing. You always are.”
Azriel leaned down, his lips brushing softly against yours in a kiss that was both comforting and full of promise. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his voice a low murmur.
“Don’t worry about us. Just enjoy yourself, YN.”
“I will,” you promised, your heart swelling with love for the man before you.
As the silence stretched between you, Azriel’s gaze flickered to your lips, a familiar glint of mischief lighting his hazel eyes. His hand on your waist tightened slightly, pulling you just a fraction closer.
“You know,” he murmured, his voice dropping to that low, velvety tone that always sent a shiver down your spine, “we still have some time before you leave.”
Your lips curved into a teasing smile as you tilted your head. “And what exactly are you suggesting, Shadowsinger?”
Azriel’s wings flared slightly, brushing against the edges of the room as he leaned in. His lips ghosted over yours, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath, but he didn’t close the distance. Not yet.
“I’m suggesting,” he said, his voice a soft rumble, “that maybe you should stay here and let me remind you of all the reasons you shouldn’t go.”
Your breath hitched as his free hand came up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheekbone. He dipped his head, his lips barely grazing your jaw as he whispered, “Starting with how much I’ve missed having you to myself.”
“Az,” you said softly, trying to keep your tone steady even as heat pooled in your chest. “You’re not playing fair.”
He chuckled, the sound deep and warm as his lips trailed along the curve of your neck. “I never said I would.”
Your hands found their way to his chest, the fabric of his shirt bunching under your fingers as you tried to catch your breath. “You’re not going to win, you know. I’m still going.”
His lips paused against your skin, and you felt the smirk that formed there. “Oh, I don’t need to win. I just need to make sure you remember me while you’re gone.”
Your laugh was breathless, and you tipped your head back, giving him better access as his kisses turned more insistent. “As if I could forget you.”
Azriel hummed, his wings curling slightly around you as his hands slid to your hips, holding you firmly in place. “Good,” he murmured, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was slow and deliberate, full of the kind of intensity that made your knees weak.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “One more thing,” he said, his voice rough with affection.
“What’s that?” you asked, your voice just as soft.
His lips curved into a smirk as his thumb brushed against your lower lip. “Make sure Helion knows you’re mine.”
You laughed, the sound light and full of warmth as you leaned into him. “I think he already knows, Az.”
“Good,” he said again, his tone playful yet possessive as he kissed you once more, this time with no intention of letting you go anytime soon.
Azriel didn’t let you pull away—not that you wanted to. His lips moved against yours with that perfect blend of softness and urgency, his hands anchoring you firmly in place as though daring you to remember anything but him.
The suitcase on the bed was all but forgotten as he coaxed a sigh from you, his mouth tilting into a knowing smirk at your reaction.
“Az,” you murmured against his lips, your voice half-scolding, half-breathless.
“Hm?” he hummed, his tone utterly unrepentant as he kissed the corner of your mouth, then trailed down your jaw.
“You’re distracting me,” you managed, though your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt betrayed just how little you minded.
“Good,” he murmured against your skin, his voice low and rough in a way that made your pulse flutter. “You’ve been so focused on everyone else, shadow,”—his favorite term of endearment for you, spoken so softly it made your heart ache—“it’s time someone focused on you.”
Your heart squeezed at the tenderness in his words, even as his teasing lips found the sensitive spot just below your ear.
“You know,” you said, your breath hitching when his teeth grazed your skin, “if you keep this up, Feyre and Nesta are going to show up in the morning, and I’m not going to be ready.”
Azriel chuckled, the sound low and sinful as he lifted his head to meet your gaze. “You don’t need to pack for the Day Court. You could stay here. I’ll make it worth your while.”
You arched a brow, pretending to consider it even as you traced slow circles on his chest. “And what exactly would you do to make it worth my while?”
His hazel eyes darkened, and the corners of his mouth twitched as though he were holding back a full grin. “I’d start,” he said, his voice a silken promise, “by reminding you how much I love you. And then…” His wings flared slightly, his fingers tightening on your hips as he leaned in again.
“And then?” you pressed, your voice soft, unable to stop yourself from smiling at the way his gaze lingered on your lips.
“And then,” he murmured, his forehead brushing against yours, “I’d spend the whole week making sure you never want to leave my side again.”
You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, though it was breathless and tinged with heat. “Azriel,” you said, shaking your head even as your hands slid up to wrap around his neck, “you are completely incorrigible.”
“I’m your incorrigible husband,” he said, his lips curving as he kissed you again, slow and deep, until all thoughts of the Day Court faded into nothingness.
When you finally pulled away, your breathing uneven and your cheeks flushed, Azriel’s hands stayed firm on your waist, holding you close. His hazel eyes sparkled with satisfaction, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.
“You’re impossible,” you muttered, shaking your head as you tried to regain your composure.
“And you love me for it,” he teased, leaning down to brush another soft kiss to your temple.
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at your lips. “Unfortunately for me.”
Azriel chuckled, his wings shifting as he stepped back just enough to give you space. “I’ll leave you to finish packing—if you insist on going, that is.”
“If I insist?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow.
His smirk deepened, and he lifted his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. Go to the Day Court. But don’t be surprised if I show up halfway through the week to bring you home.”
You laughed, shaking your head as you turned back to the suitcase on the bed. “Kaia would never forgive you if you left her for that long.”
“She might forgive me if I brought her to you,” he countered, his voice softening at the thought of your daughter.
“She’d love it,” you admitted, glancing over your shoulder at him. “But I think you can handle a week without me. Besides, Helion’s already promised Feyre, Nesta, and me the royal treatment.”
Azriel’s wings twitched, a subtle flicker of something possessive crossing his face before he hid it behind a playful smile. “You’ll be back before you know it.”
“Miss me already?” you teased, folding the last of your clothes and placing them in the suitcase.
“Always,” he said simply, and the sincerity in his voice made your heart stutter.
You paused, turning fully to face him. For a moment, you just looked at him—the man who had been your partner in everything, who had stood by your side through chaos and calm, who adored you and your daughter more than anything in the world.
Stepping closer, you reached up to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing over the faint shadow of stubble along his jaw. “I love you,” you said softly, the words carrying all the weight of your feelings.
Azriel leaned into your touch, his eyes closing briefly. “And I love you.”
The two of you stayed like that for a moment, the quiet of the night wrapping around you like a cocoon. Then, with a final lingering kiss, Azriel stepped back, his hands falling to his sides.
“I’ll check on Kaia before I head to bed,” he said, his voice low.
You nodded, your heart swelling as you watched him leave the room, his shadows trailing after him.
And as you turned back to the suitcase, you couldn’t help but smile, already counting down the days until you’d be back in his arms again.
-----
The morning light filtered gently through the curtains, bathing the room in soft, golden hues. You stirred slowly, the warmth of Azriel’s arms wrapped securely around you, his chest rising and falling with the steady rhythm of his breathing. For a moment, you just lay there, savoring the feeling of being tucked against him, his wings sprawled protectively around your form.
His face was relaxed in sleep, the lines of tension from the previous days gone, and you couldn’t help but smile softly at the way he looked—vulnerable and at peace. You pressed your face against his chest, breathing in the scent of him, a mix of sandalwood and something distinctly Azriel—earthy, comforting, and home.
But as much as you wanted to stay there forever, the thought of the day ahead pulled you from the warmth of his embrace. You sighed quietly, trying not to disturb him as you shifted slightly, careful not to wake him. The soft rustle of the blankets seemed to stir Azriel’s senses, and you felt him shift behind you, pulling you closer as though trying to keep you there.
“Five more minutes,” he murmured against the back of your neck, his voice thick with sleep.
You chuckled softly, turning your head to plant a kiss on his jaw. “You know I have to go, right?”
Azriel groaned, his arms tightening around you. “I know,” he mumbled, but there was a hint of reluctance in his tone. “But I can’t let you leave yet.”
You laughed, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll be back soon. Besides, Feyre and Nesta will never let us hear the end of it if we’re late.”
“Mm, they’re already too excited to get away,” he muttered, nuzzling against your neck with a final sigh of contentment. But after a moment, he released you, the warmth of his body leaving a cold spot on the bed.
Reluctantly, you slid out of bed, the cool air of the room instantly making you miss the heat of his touch. You moved to the closet, pulling out your outfit for the day, but as you dressed, you could feel Azriel’s eyes on you, his presence heavy and comforting.
Once you were dressed, you turned back to the bed. Azriel had propped himself up on his elbow, his gaze fixed on you with that dark, intense look he always wore when he was lost in thought.
“You’re really going to leave me?” he asked, his voice soft but with an undercurrent of affection.
You smiled, walking over to him and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I have to. I’ll miss you, too, though.”
He nodded, and for a moment, you stood there together, soaking in the last few moments before the day began in full force.
After a final kiss, you left the bedroom, stepping out into the hall. The house was already stirring, and as you walked toward the stairs, you heard the sound of voices below. When you reached the kitchen, you found the familiar sight of Cassian, Rhysand, and your little Kaia sitting at the table.
Kaia’s tiny feet dangled from the chair as she babbled happily, her wide, bright eyes sparkling up at Rhysand, who was teasing her with a piece of fruit. Cassian sat beside her, his boisterous laugh filling the room as he ruffled her hair. His sons were still nowhere to be seen, probably still asleep, which seemed to be a rare luxury in the chaos of their usual routine.
“Well, well,” you said, leaning against the doorframe with a smile. “Look who’s in charge of the kids this morning.”
Cassian looked up, grinning ear to ear. “Someone has to keep an eye on them while you take your luxurious break.”
Rhysand glanced up from where he was sitting next to Kaia, a teasing glint in his eye. “You’re welcome. Though, I don’t know why you’re so eager to leave us. Kaia seems pretty happy here.”
Kaia giggled, reaching up to grab at Rhysand’s hair, tugging on it with all the strength her tiny hands could muster. “Rhysie!” she said, her voice lisping around the word as she giggled.
You shook your head with a small laugh. “She really is a handful, isn’t she?”
“She’s a delight,” Rhysand said, his tone dry as he pulled his hair out of her grasp. “I’m just glad I’m not the one who has to deal with her tantrums.”
Cassian threw his head back with a laugh. “I can’t wait to hear what happens when it’s Azriel's turn to watch her this week.”
Before you could respond, you heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind, and you turned to find Feyre and Nesta walking into the kitchen, both already fully prepared for the trip.
“We’re ready to go,” Feyre announced with a grin, her bags slung over her shoulder.
“You two really can’t wait, can you?” you teased.
Nesta crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. “We deserve this, YN. Don’t try to ruin our excitement.”
Feyre grinned. “I’ll second that. I think it’s about time we leave the chaos behind for a bit.”
You laughed, crossing the room to grab a cup of tea before setting your gaze on Rhysand and Cassian, who were now clearly in full babysitting mode.
“If any of them come back with bruises or broken limbs, I’m blaming you three,” you said, teasing.
Cassian held up his hands in mock defence. “We’ll be just fine. I promise, Kaia’s in good hands.”
“Besides,” Rhysand added, “you’ll be back before you know it.”
As the four of you gathered your things, laughter and light-hearted banter filled the air. But in the back of your mind, you knew Azriel would be there to handle everything while you were away. You just hoped the boys wouldn’t get too out of hand.
-----
The moment the last of the girls left, a tense silence descended over the room, hanging thick in the air. Cassian, Rhysand, and Azriel stood there for a moment, exchanging glances as they mentally prepared themselves for what was about to unfold. They’d been through this before, but that didn’t make it any less challenging.
Azriel shifted on his feet, his wings barely brushing against the table. “Are we sure we can handle all of them?” he asked, though it wasn’t a question of doubt—more like a quiet observation.
Cassian grinned, clearly relishing the chaos. “Of course, we can. How hard can it be? It’s just kids, after all,” he said, his voice laced with sarcasm. He shot a glance at Rhysand. “And don’t you dare try to say it’s ‘too much,’ Rhys. You’ve survived worse.”
Rhysand sighed but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “True. But we’ve never had this many all at once.”
The sound of little feet padding into the room interrupted the conversation, and soon the three boys—Torran, Emrus, and Calen—came stumbling in, their messy hair and sleep-rumpled faces betraying that they had just woken up. Their eyes were still half-lidded as they slowly blinked at the scene before them: three fully-grown men standing in a kitchen, attempting to look responsible.
“Dad?” Torran rubbed his eyes sleepily, looking at Cassian. “What’s for breakfast?”
Emrus yawned loudly, his hand rubbing his face. “I’m hungry,” he mumbled, barely opening his eyes as he looked at Rhysand, trying to look as cute as possible to get out of a scolding.
Calen, who was the youngest of the three, immediately latched onto his father’s leg, hiding behind it and peering up at the three men. “Daddy,” he said quietly, a bit unsure of the situation. “Where’s Mom?”
Cassian ruffled his hair affectionately. “She’s off on a much-needed vacation, remember? It’s just us today. And don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.”
Azriel gave a small, half-amused smile, glancing toward Rhysand and Cassian. “This is going to be fun,” he muttered under his breath.
The sound of more footsteps followed soon after, as Nyx walked in, still looking half-asleep but clearly already aware of the shift in the atmosphere. His eyes immediately flickered from Azriel to the boys, and then he gave a soft sigh, knowing exactly what his father was about to ask him to do.
“Dad, I’m not babysitting them,” Nyx grumbled, clearly tired of the routine.
Azriel raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Rhysand. “You’re not. You’re the oldest; it’s your job to make sure they don’t set the house on fire.”
Rhysand snorted, shooting Azriel a knowing look. “He’s right, Nyx. Just keep an eye on them for now. You’re the only one who can make sure Cassian doesn’t let them eat their weight in pastries before noon.”
Cassian threw his hands up in mock offense. “I don’t always spoil them,” he said dramatically. “But I do know what the kids like.”
Nyx rolled his eyes but nodded, knowing he was essentially outnumbered. He moved to sit at the table and begin slouching in the chair, obviously dreading the next few hours.
Just then, Kaia—Azriel’s little two-year-old—wobbled around room, her hair a wild mess of dark curls, her wide, curious eyes scanning the scene before her. She let out a cheerful giggle when she saw her dad and immediately ran toward him.
“Dada!” Kaia called, her baby voice high-pitched and full of excitement as she tried to climb onto his lap.
Azriel’s face softened as he scooped her up, settling her on his knee. “Hey, little one,” he said, his voice tender as he brushed a stray curl from her face. “What are you up to?”
“I want pannycake!” she declared loudly, bouncing on his lap as if that would make her demand more convincing.
“Of course you do,” Azriel said, half-amused and half-resigned. “We’ll see what we can do.”
Rhysand, with a resigned sigh, stepped over to the counter and grabbed the breakfast supplies. “Looks like it’s up to us to feed the masses today,” he muttered. “Anyone want to help?”
Cassian clapped his hands together, standing up with a grin. “You bet. Let’s make this an event.”
Torran, Emrus, and Calen started to gather around the counter, already too excited by the idea of food to care about their previous grumpy moods. Kaia, now securely in Azriel’s arms, pointed enthusiastically at the pancakes and asked, “Can I have bwuebewwies?”
“You can have whatever you want,” Azriel replied with a smile, brushing a kiss to the top of her head. He could already see that he was going to be wrapped around her little finger for the foreseeable future.
As the group settled into their roles, Rhysand began heating up the pan, Cassian retrieved various ingredients with unnecessary enthusiasm, and Nyx slouched in his seat, trying to act like he wasn’t already mentally preparing himself for the chaos ahead.
“Should we make this a competition?” Cassian asked, his tone light as he bounced between tasks. “See who can get the kids fed and settled fastest?”
Azriel rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at his lips. “You’re insane. But I’m in.”
Nyx groaned. “I’m too old for this.”
Cassian barely had time to react before Torran, Emrus, and Calen launched themselves at him, a unified flurry of arms, legs, and battle cries.
“Attack!” Torran shouted, his voice ringing with the authority of the eldest as he tackled Cassian around the middle.
Emrus scrambled to climb onto his father’s back, giggling uncontrollably. “We’ve got you now, Dad!”
Calen, not wanting to be left out, latched onto Cassian’s leg, his little hands gripping tightly as he added his own gleeful shout to the chaos.
Cassian staggered under the weight of all three boys, laughing as he tried to fend them off. “You think you can take me down?” he bellowed dramatically, his voice booming through the kitchen. “I’m a General! You’ll never defeat me!”
“You’re outnumbered, Dad!” Torran crowed, attempting to wrestle Cassian to the ground.
Azriel leaned casually against the counter, Kaia still perched on his hip, her little hands gripping his tunic as she watched the spectacle unfold with wide eyes. “Should we help him, sweetheart?” Azriel asked, his tone amused.
Kaia tilted her head, considering it for a moment before shaking her head firmly. “Nope. Cassy too loud,” she declared, her baby voice cutting through the noise.
Rhysand snorted from his spot near the stove, where he was flipping pancakes. “Looks like you’re on your own, Cassian.”
Cassian shot Rhysand an exaggerated glare. “Some High Lord you are, Rhys. Aren’t you supposed to lead by example?”
“I am,” Rhysand said smoothly, gesturing to the pancakes with a flourish. “I’m feeding your troops. It’s called strategy.”
As Cassian’s boys continued their assault, Nyx, who had been watching with a mixture of amusement and exasperation, got up from his chair and walked over to Kaia. He crouched down so he was at her eye level, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
“Hey, Kaia,” he said gently, reaching out to brush a stray curl from her face. “You wanna get out of here before things get even crazier?”
Kaia blinked at him, her tiny hand clutching Azriel’s sleeve as she considered his offer. “We go?” she asked, her voice curious.
“Somewhere quiet,” Nyx replied, standing up and holding out his hand to her. “Trust me, this week is going to be a mess. We’ve got to stick together, okay?”
Kaia looked up at Azriel, her big dark eyes questioning. Azriel chuckled softly, setting her down on the floor. “Go on, sweetheart,” he said. “Nyx will take care of you.”
Kaia slipped her tiny hand into Nyx’s, her trust in him absolute. Nyx gave her a reassuring smile before glancing back at the adults. “Good luck,” he said dryly, his tone making it clear he didn’t envy them one bit.
With that, Nyx led Kaia out of the kitchen, leaving the three grown men to handle the chaos that was quickly escalating behind them. Rhysand sighed, flipping another pancake onto the growing stack. “You know,” he said, addressing no one in particular, “this might actually kill us.”
Azriel smirked, his calm exterior never faltering. “Speak for yourself.”
Cassian, now pinned to the floor by his three sons, looked up with a mock glare. “You two are terrible friends.”
“Friends who are making breakfast,” Rhysand corrected, raising his spatula in a mock toast.
Cassian groaned, though his grin never wavered, and the sound of laughter filled the kitchen once more.
Cassian finally managed to wrestle himself free from his sons, standing up and dusting off his tunic with a grin. “You know,” he said, leaning casually against the counter, “maybe we should take this whole circus to the cabin.”
Rhysand raised an eyebrow, flipping the last pancake onto the growing stack. “The cabin? With all the kids?”
“Why not?” Cassian shrugged, his grin widening. “The boys have their Illyrian training this week anyway. They’ll burn off all their energy in the mountains, and we’ll have some breathing room to relax.”
Azriel, who had been silently wiping syrup off his hands after Kaia’s sticky breakfast adventure, froze. His sharp gaze snapped to Cassian, his wings shifting slightly as tension settled over him.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Azriel said quietly, his voice calm but firm.
Cassian frowned. “Why not? It’ll be good for the kids, and you know the mountains are perfect for—”
“For the boys, maybe,” Azriel interrupted, his tone measured but with an edge of protectiveness. “But Kaia’s too little. She can barely lift off the ground, and the air pressure in the mountains is different. It’s hard even for fully grown Illyrians.”
Rhysand leaned back in his chair, his violet eyes thoughtful. “It’s not just the air pressure, is it?”
Azriel glanced at him, his expression unreadable, but they all knew him too well.
“The Illyrians…” Azriel finally admitted, his voice quieter now. “They don’t take kindly to females with wings. Kaia’s just a baby. I won’t let her be exposed to that kind of... prejudice.”
Cassian straightened, his usual easygoing demeanor replaced with seriousness. “Az, no one’s going to say a damn thing to Kaia. And if they do, they’ll answer to me. Or Rhys. Or, hell, even the boys. You know we won’t let anything happen to her.”
Rhysand nodded in agreement. “And as for the air pressure, we’ll adjust. We won’t push her to fly or do anything strenuous. She’s your daughter, Azriel. She has all of us to protect her.”
Azriel’s wings shifted again, the tension in his shoulders still visible. “It’s not just about protection,” he murmured, looking down at his hands. “I don’t want her to feel... less. Or different.”
Cassian clapped a hand on Azriel’s shoulder, his grip firm. “She’s not less, and she’s not different. She’s Kaia, and she’s incredible. Those winged bastards at the camps don’t get a say in that. You’re her father. She’s got you—and us. That’s all she needs.”
Rhysand smiled softly, leaning forward. “She’s going to grow up knowing she’s loved and cherished. And when the time comes, if she has to face the world, she’ll do it with her head held high because she’ll know she has us behind her. Always.”
Azriel exhaled slowly, the tension in his body easing slightly at their reassurances. He glanced toward the doorway where Kaia had toddled off with Nyx. “She means everything to me,” he said softly.
“We know,” Rhysand said. “And that’s why we’ll all make sure she’s safe. You’re not doing this alone, Az.”
Before Azriel could respond, the sound of loud footsteps filled the air, followed by a cacophony of laughter. Torran, Emrus, and Calen came barreling through the room, yelling as they bolted toward the doorway.
“Nyx! Wait for us!” Torran called, his voice filled with excitement.
“We want to play too!” Emrus added, his little feet pounding against the floor.
Calen, the smallest, brought up the rear, his face lit up with pure joy. “Kaia! Come back!” he yelled, his high-pitched voice echoing as they all disappeared around the corner.
Cassian shook his head, a mixture of amusement and exasperation on his face. “There they go,” he muttered.
Rhysand smirked, pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee. “They’re your sons, Cassian. You only have your lack of self-control to blame.”
Azriel chuckled softly, his eyes lingering on the doorway where his daughter had disappeared. Despite his concerns, a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “They’re going to wear Nyx out,” he said, the hint of amusement clear in his tone.
Cassian grinned. “Good. That’ll make things easier for all of us.”
Rhysand leaned back in his chair, his gaze settling on Azriel. “So, what do you say, brother? The cabin for a few days? We’ll make it work—for everyone.”
Azriel hesitated for only a moment longer before nodding slowly. “Fine. But if anything happens to Kaia—”
“Nothing will,” Cassian interrupted, clapping him on the back. “You have my word.”
Azriel’s lips quirked upward in a small smile. “You better keep it.”
Cassian’s grin stretched ear to ear, his hazel eyes lighting up like a child who had just been handed his favorite toy. He slapped his hands together, the sound echoing through the kitchen.
“Yes!” he exclaimed, his voice booming with excitement. “The cabin! This is going to be amazing!”
Azriel raised an eyebrow at him, his expression unimpressed. “Amazing? You do realize this isn’t a vacation, right? We’re bringing five kids under thirteen with us, including my toddler.”
Cassian waved a dismissive hand, already pacing the kitchen like he was planning a military campaign. “Details, Az. Minor details. This is going to be an adventure! Fresh air, wide-open skies, and the boys can run wild while we sit back, relax, and maybe get some peace and quiet—”
“Cass,” Rhysand interrupted dryly, leaning back in his chair. “You’re describing a fantasy. Peace and quiet? With your sons in the mix? I’d say the odds are slim to none.”
Cassian pointed at him, undeterred. “First of all, my boys are angels—”
“Absolute terrors,” Azriel interjected, his tone flat.
Cassian ignored him. “—and second, they’ll be too busy with training to cause chaos. I’ll get them out there running drills first thing every morning. They’ll be so exhausted they won’t have the energy to do anything but sleep.”
“Drills?” Rhysand repeated with a smirk. “You’re taking them to the cabin, not a war camp.”
“It’s a lifestyle, Rhys,” Cassian said, puffing out his chest like he was imparting sage wisdom. “Besides, you’ll thank me when they’re passed out by sundown and we’re sitting by the fire with a drink in hand.”
Azriel crossed his arms, leaning back against the counter. “And what about Kaia? She’s not exactly going to be running drills, Cassian.”
Cassian’s grin softened, a rare moment of genuine warmth flashing across his face. “Kaia’s going to love it. I’ll make sure she’s safe, Az. I promise. We’ll take her flying close to the cabin where the air’s gentler, show her the river, and teach her how to throw rocks into the water. Trust me, she’s going to have the time of her life.”
Azriel’s expression softened at the mention of Kaia, though he still looked sceptical. “She’s two, Cassian. Her idea of ‘time of her life’ is eating blueberries and hiding under blankets.”
“Exactly!” Cassian said, throwing his arms wide. “And the cabin is perfect for that! We’ll build her a blanket fort by the fire. She’ll never want to leave!”
Rhysand chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re really leaning into this, aren’t you?”
Cassian crossed his arms, his grin turning cocky. “Of course I am. I’m going to make this the best trip ever. Just wait—you’ll be thanking me by the end of it.”
Azriel sighed, though a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “You’re mad, you know that?”
Cassian clapped him on the back, his grin unwavering. “And yet, you love me for it.”
Rhysand shook his head, lifting his coffee mug in a mock toast. “Here’s to surviving whatever Cassian’s version of ‘the best trip ever’ turns out to be.”
Cassian laughed, already mentally packing for the adventure. “Oh, you’ll survive,” he said confidently. “You might even enjoy yourselves. Trust me, boys—this is going to be legendary.”
Azriel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he straightened up. Cassian’s enthusiasm for the cabin trip was infectious, but the thought of Kaia being away from home in unfamiliar terrain still had him a little on edge.
“I’ll go find Kaia,” Azriel said, pushing off the counter. His shadows stirred, curling lazily around his shoulders as if they were ready to help in the search. “Nyx probably dragged her off somewhere to keep her entertained.”
Cassian smirked. “That kid’s already got more sense than you give him credit for. Kaia’s in good hands.”
Azriel shot him a look that said, That doesn’t mean I’m not checking. Without another word, he strode out of the kitchen, his sharp hearing picking up faint giggles echoing down the hall.
As he walked through the house, he let his shadows fan out, whispering to him about movement and noise. They swirled back, leading him toward the sitting room. When he stepped inside, the sight before him made him pause.
Kaia was sitting on the floor, her little wings fluttering as she balanced a small pile of stuffed animals on top of Nyx’s head. Nyx, sitting cross-legged and perfectly still, looked utterly resigned, though there was a small, amused smile on his face.
“Kaia,” Azriel said, his voice soft but firm as he crossed the room.
Kaia’s head whipped around, her big dark eyes lighting up when she saw him. “Dada!” she squealed, scrambling to her feet. She stumbled slightly before running toward him, her tiny wings flapping in excitement.
Azriel caught her easily, scooping her up into his arms. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” he asked, his tone tinged with amusement as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
Kaia leaned back, her little face glowing with mischief. “Pwaying wif Nyxie’s hair,” she declared proudly, pointing at Nyx.
Nyx raised an eyebrow, reaching up to pluck a stuffed animal from his head. “I don’t think this is what my dad had in mind when he said to keep her busy.”
Azriel chuckled, pressing a kiss to Kaia’s temple. “Thank you for watching her, Nyx.”
“Anytime,” Nyx said, standing up and brushing off his pants. He handed Kaia one of the stuffed animals she had dropped. “But fair warning—she’s a little too good at bossing people around.”
Azriel smiled softly, adjusting Kaia on his hip as she giggled and buried her face in his neck. “She gets that from her mother,” he said with a hint of warmth in his voice.
Kaia peeked up at him, her curls bouncing as she grinned. “Dada, we go?”
“Yes, love,” Azriel said, turning toward the doorway. “We’re going to the cabin, but first, we need to pack your things. Come on, let’s get you ready.”
Nyx followed them out, shaking his head. “This is going to be a long week,” he muttered, though there was a glimmer of affection in his voice.
Azriel glanced back at him with a rare, small smile. “It always is.”
As Azriel walked toward the staircase with Kaia securely in his arms, he glanced back at Nyx, who was trailing behind with a casual slouch.
“Nyx,” Azriel said, his tone calm but carrying the unmistakable authority of someone used to giving orders.
The 13-year-old straightened slightly, his sharp eyes meeting Azriel’s. “Yeah?”
“Go pack your things,” Azriel instructed. “Clothes, whatever books or games you want to bring. Make sure you’ve got enough for the week.”
Nyx sighed, dragging a hand through his dark hair. “Do I have to? I just got her to sit still. That was hard work, you know.”
Azriel gave him a pointed look, one that made Nyx quickly rethink any further protests. “Yes, you have to. Unless you’d like to be stuck in the same outfit for the next seven days.”
Nyx groaned but didn’t argue further. “Fine. But if I have to pack, I’m bringing all my stuff. Don’t complain when I take up half the space in the cabin.”
Azriel’s lips quirked upward in a faint smile. “Just pack what you need, Nyx. No more, no less.”
Nyx huffed, turning on his heel and heading toward his room. “You’re lucky I like Kaia and my aunt,” he muttered under his breath, though there was no real bite in his tone.
Azriel turned his attention back to Kaia, who was fiddling with the collar of his shirt. “Alright, little one,” he murmured, his voice softening as he kissed the top of her head. “Let’s get you packed up.”
Kaia wriggled slightly, her tiny hands gripping his shoulders. “I pack toys?” she asked, her words slightly garbled in her toddler speech.
Azriel nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Of course. Let’s make sure we grab your favourite ones, okay?”
“‘Kay,” she said happily, her wings fluttering as she cuddled closer.
Azriel carried Kaia into her small but cozy room, decorated in soft shades of cream and pale green. Tiny wooden shelves lined the walls, overflowing with stuffed animals, picture books, and small trinkets she’d accumulated in her two short years. Her favourite blanket, a deep blue that matched his siphons, was draped over the side of her crib-turned-toddler bed.
“Alright, sweetheart,” Azriel said, setting her down on the soft rug in the centre of the room. She plopped onto her bottom with a giggle, her tiny wings fluttering as she looked up at him with wide, expectant eyes.
Azriel crouched down and opened the small wooden chest at the foot of her bed, pulling out a soft travel bag embroidered with her name. “We’ll start with your clothes,” he murmured, more to himself than to her.
“Cwothes!” Kaia echoed, clapping her hands.
Azriel stood and moved to her little dresser, pulling open the top drawer where her neatly folded tunics and leggings were stored. He carefully selected a week’s worth of outfits—soft, comfortable pieces that would keep her warm in the cooler mountain air.
“Do you want to help, Kaia?” he asked as he folded a tiny tunic and placed it in the bag.
Kaia jumped to her feet, wobbling slightly before toddling over to him. “I hewp!” she declared proudly, grabbing one of the leggings he’d laid out. Her little hands struggled to fold it, but she managed to mash it into a ball and shoved it into the bag.
Azriel chuckled, his shadows curling around him like an extension of his amusement. “Good job, love,” he said, smoothing out the bunched-up fabric before zipping the main compartment.
Kaia beamed, clearly pleased with herself. “I so good,” she said with a self-satisfied nod.
“The best,” Azriel agreed, lifting her back onto the rug. He moved next to the shelf where her favorite toys were kept. “Alright, what toys do you want to bring?”
Kaia’s eyes lit up, and she immediately ran to the shelf, pointing at a stuffed bat nearly as big as her. “Batty!”
Azriel reached for the stuffed animal, handing it to her. “Batty, of course. Anything else?”
Kaia clutched Batty to her chest, her little face scrunched in concentration as she scanned the shelf. “An’...an’ Bunny!” she declared, pointing to a small gray rabbit.
Azriel grabbed the rabbit and added it to the bag. “Batty and Bunny. Anyone else?”
Kaia hesitated, then nodded. “Puppy!”
Azriel reached for the well-loved plush dog and handed it to her. “Alright, that’s three. I think that’s plenty, don’t you?”
Kaia pouted slightly but nodded, hugging Batty tightly.
Next, Azriel grabbed her favorite blanket from her bed. “We’ll need this,” he said softly, folding it neatly before tucking it into the bag. He also added a couple of her picture books, knowing how much she loved to have bedtime stories read to her.
Finally, he packed a small pouch with some snacks—dried fruit and crackers, her favourites—and slid it into the side pocket of the bag.
“There,” he said, zipping the bag shut. “All ready for the cabin.”
Kaia looked up at him, her big dark eyes shining. “We go now, Dada?”
Azriel smiled, scooping her up into his arms. “Not yet, love. Soon.”
Kaia rested her head against his shoulder, her tiny hand clutching the fabric of his shirt. “’Kay,” she murmured, her voice soft and content.
Azriel pressed a kiss to her curls, his heart swelling with a warmth he could never quite put into words. “Let’s go find the others,” he said, carrying her and the bag out of the room.
-----
You, Nesta, and Feyre stood in the grand room of the Day Court's estate, taking in the sweeping view of the sun-kissed landscape outside. The pale golden walls and sunlit windows were the perfect setting for a relaxing getaway, especially after weeks of chaos back at the Night Court.
As you set down your bag, you sighed with relief. “It feels so good to finally be here,” you said, dropping onto one of the plush couches and looking at the half-empty wine bottle beside you.
Feyre raised an eyebrow, a smirk curling on her lips. “Already drinking at 1 PM? I guess we really are living our best lives without any kids around.”
Nesta snorted as she opened a second bottle. “I’m not complaining. I’ve earned this.”
You laughed and took a sip, leaning back against the cushions. “I swear, every moment I get without Kaia trying to climb up my legs is a treasure.”
Feyre rolled her eyes but was clearly amused. “I thought we were all in agreement. A week off. I can’t believe we actually made it.”
Nesta chuckled. “We should’ve left sooner. It’s been a mess with the kids, but at least we finally get some peace and quiet.”
As if on cue, the door to the living room swung open, and Helion strode in, his hair shining like the sun itself. He wore his usual carefree grin, his amber eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Well, well, well,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest as he took in the three of you lounging on the couch. “The beauties have come without their beasts. Should I be worried about what you’re all getting up to without them?”
You smirked at him, feeling the familiar warmth of his teasing presence. “Helion, you’re just jealous you didn’t come with us. You know you can’t resist our charm.”
Nesta and Feyre both glanced between you and Helion, their curiosity piqued.
Feyre tilted her head. “Wait, you two know each other that well?”
Helion raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by their interest. “Know each other? We go way back. You could say I’m the loss of her life,” he said, a playful gleam in his eyes. “She’s the one that got away.”
You rolled your eyes, not at all surprised by his dramatic flair. “Not true,” you replied with a grin. “We slept twice, centuries ago. That’s all. And one of those times was when you were trying to win a bet on whether or not you could make me laugh.”
Nesta and Feyre exchanged looks, clearly intrigued.
“Twice?” Feyre asked, raising an eyebrow. “And you’re telling me there was nothing more between the two of you?”
Helion leaned against the doorframe with a knowing look, crossing one ankle over the other. “Ah, nothing more. The truth is, we slept, we laughed, and then we moved on. I’m the truth-teller, after all,” he added, smirking as if to say, don’t challenge me on this.
Nesta looked at you in disbelief. “So, you two really didn’t get together after all that?”
You shook your head, laughing softly. “Nope. I’m not sure even Helion can hold a candle to the other men I’ve encountered. Besides, we’re still good friends.”
Helion’s grin widened as he walked over and placed a hand on your shoulder. “The best kind of friend, of course. The kind who knows all your secrets and still manages to make you laugh.”
Feyre laughed softly, clearly entertained by the banter. “Well, I’m glad you two had your fun. But, seriously, is there any chance you two would ever—”
“Stop right there,” you interrupted, holding up a hand to halt her curiosity. “Let’s just say we’ve both moved on. No need for more stories. My husband is way more than perfect for me.”
Helion chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, I won’t embarrass you any further. But I still stand by my ‘loss of my life’ claim.”
You smirked, giving him a playful shove. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“Just the way you like me,” he replied with a wink, turning to face Nesta and Feyre. “Anyway, welcome to the Day Court. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. And don’t let them fool you; they can’t resist a little sunshine every now and then.”
With that, Helion made his exit, leaving you, Feyre, and Nesta to settle into the quiet luxury of the Day Court, your laughter still echoing in the room.
Feyre and Nesta exchanged a surprised look as Helion left, their curiosity piqued by the snippets of your past that had come up in conversation. They were both clearly itching to ask more, and Feyre, ever the straightforward one, was the first to break the silence.
“You never told us about that,” she said, her voice half teasing, half incredulous. “How did we not know about you and Helion?”
You took another sip from your glass, leaning back and pretending to be nonchalant, though inwardly you were amused at their questions. You had definitely seen more than your fair share of shocked expressions over the centuries.
“You’re only in your thirties,” you said with a smirk, setting your glass down on the table beside you. “I’ve had more time to experience things than you can imagine. I’m in my five-hundreds, remember?”
Nesta raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical but intrigued. “Still… How have we never heard any of these stories?”
“Well, the thing is,” you began, glancing between them with a knowing smile, “I’ve had more than just one adventure, if you will. Not just with Helion.”
Feyre blinked. “What do you mean? Like…”
You didn’t let her finish, taking an exaggerated breath. “I slept with Eris too. He’s a charming one, if you can get past his ego. Lucien wasn’t bad either. Good lover, actually.” You shrugged casually, enjoying the shocked expressions on their faces. “And let’s not forget Tarquin. I’ve seen my fair share of High Lords. being Rhysand's sister allows a lot of interactions with higher profiles.”
Feyre’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide in disbelief. “Tarquin? I would never have guessed!”
“Yeah, well, don’t get too excited. We never got very far,” you added with a teasing grin. “Just a few stolen moments here and there, but you know… Tarquin’s good company when you need it.”
Nesta was almost choking on her wine, unable to keep her laughter in. “Wait, so you really weren’t lying when you said you’ve slept with half the court?”
You raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, smirking. “Wouldn’t call it half, but yes, I’ve been around. But those are just the more notable names. There are more.”
Feyre shook her head in utter disbelief. “How have we been friends for so long, and you’ve never once mentioned any of this?”
“Because, darling,” you said, swirling your wine in the glass with a playful grin, “you two have been busy with your own drama. There’s only so much time in a conversation, and quite frankly, I enjoy watching you both unravel the mystery of my past.”
Nesta narrowed her eyes at you, clearly intrigued but also a little annoyed by the way you were making a game out of this. “Okay, fine. But I want to know everything. Tell me about Eris.”
You leaned back, folding your arms and smirking at them both. “Well, that’s a long story. Maybe after another glass of wine?”
Feyre and Nesta exchanged a look, both of them clearly hooked on your tales now, and you could tell they weren’t going to let this go. They were going to need all the details, and you were more than happy to indulge them in their curiosity.
For the first time in a while, you felt truly free. No responsibilities. No expectations. Just three old friends relaxing and laughing in the comfort of the Day Court—and the promise of a few more stories to tell.
A/N: Comments and reblogs would be appreciated, let me know if you'd like to be tagged
#acotar#acotar x reader#azriel acotar#azriel x reader#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x oc#azriel fanfic#azriel spymaster#azriel x y/n#azriel x you#azriel imagine#acotar fanfiction#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#az
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RAIN LILIES
pairing: soulmate idol choi beomgyu x soulmate fem!reader
Sitting at parties surrounded by lovers, a silent third wheel at movie nights, the friend holding the camera at weddings—your hands are always... alone in the spaces where others are full.
Were you an error in the grand scheme? An anomaly? A glitch in the unforgiving script? Or maybe, he simply doesn’t really… exist.
That’s how you ended up here, standing beside your korean-pop-obsessed friend who practically dragged you out and swore you’d love the show. It all became a blur when your eyes met his.
He’s on stage, gripping the mic impossibly still, staring down back at you like he feels it too.
He shouldn’t be real.
warnings: red-string au, strangers to lovers, reader is two years older, normal society norms, waiting, anxiety, doubts, sasaengs, insecurities, hasty decisions, drunk-in-love beomgyu. pov switching. everything written is a work of fiction. let me know if I missed anything.
smut-warnings: MDNI, explicit-descriptions, missionary, fingering, oral!fem receiving, dom beomgyu.
wc: 20k — playlist.
notes: fighting both my delulu and my demons while writing this. 😭 Might just be the fic I enjoyed writing the most—I hope you love it just as much! so glad to be part of this beautiful event. a big thank you to @killa-1009 for beta reading this. ilysm.
1/5 part of the valentine event with talented moas! see the full masterlist here.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/658186986a3c340af07f82b40220f093/2bbf33d3005728f1-15/s540x810/4854d043220d0889a2ba76a0ec5f9f02f40ed5bb.jpg)
If fate promised you something so certain, how could you not long for it?
Since childhood, you’ve heard the stories. The way people speak in hushed voices, weaving fate into riddles, how somewhere out there, it's waiting—a single red string, unseen until the exact moment it’s meant to appear.
The rules are simple: the second your eyes meet theirs, a delicate crimson thread will wrap and tug around your ring finger, stretching across, tied to the one who is destined to love you.
You watched it happen to everyone else. From playground giggles in elementary school to whispered confessions in high school hallways, to late-night talks in college dorm rooms. You listened as your friends spoke about finding their own soulmates, the feeling—the pull, the process. It's everywhere. In the way, your parents fit together like pages of the same story. On the way your younger sister—still so new to the world found her match.
When you’re told your whole life that destiny is waiting for you, how could you not ache for it?
The universe doesn’t make mistakes. And yet, your hands remained... stringless.
And now you wonder if it did—with you.
"One, two, three, smile!"
You press the shutter, capturing the way they look at each other. You lower the camera, but they don’t even notice—they’re too caught up in their own little world, whispering sentences only they’ll ever understand. They laugh, eyes soft, bodies leaning in just a little closer.
How does love do that? How does it make someone shine like they’re carrying sunlight beneath their skin? Like just standing beside the right person is enough to set them alight?
And why, no matter how long you wait, does that light never seem to find you?
There are days you curse it—this cruel design, this aching uncertain certainty. You tell yourself it would be easier not to know, to live without the quiet hope that somewhere, someone is meant to find you, or that fate had already written your name beside someone else’s.
And then there are days you fear it.
What if they don’t want to find you? What if that’s why you’re still alone? What if they got it wrong, skipped over your name, and he simply… doesn’t exist?
You're an anomaly. A glitch in the well-made script.
You lost count of how many times you wished it was never made this way. That love shouldn’t be a promise. Yet in the deepest hours of the night, you found yourself—gasping, trembling, and sobbing to your palms. The feeling of—
How can you miss someone you've never met?
You want to reach for a hand you’ve never held. You long for a voice you’ve never heard, a scent you’ve never breathed, a shadow you’ve never chased. And more than anything, you wish you had a name to whisper, to give you hope.
You swallow, forcing a smile as you turn back to the couple. "Congratulations," you say, "It’s a beautiful wedding."
"Thank you, Y/N!" Ha-rin squeals, practically glowing as she steps forward to hug you. "And thank you for being our photographer—I know you must be busy."
"You’re welcome," you reply, adjusting your camera strap. "It’s what I do, after all."
Ju-won steps in then, reaching for Ha-rin’s hand like he can’t stand even a moment of space between them. "Thank you, Y/N," he says, his eyes never straying far from his wife.
They were your high school classmates. You remember the day they met—first year, first morning, when their eyes met across the classroom, and just like that, the red string appeared. They grew together, from awkward introductions to effortless friendship, and now, here they were, husband and wife.
A picture of everything the universe had promised them.
Ju-won leans in, pressing a kiss to Ha-rin’s cheek like it’s the first time, like they haven’t spent years by each other’s side. The look in their eyes is so easy, so full of love, that you have to look away.
You can't look.
"Uh, I’ll get some drinks," you say, forcing a smile that feels as out of place as you do. You don’t wait for a response. You just turn, your heels clicking against the polished floor, head spinning as you try to count how many weddings you’ve attended this year.
Or no. You’ve lost count.
Everyone you grew up with—your friends, your classmates—have already found their soulmates. Most are married now, some already raising children.
Your heels dig into your feet with each hurried step, but you don’t slow down. You just keep moving, past everyone. You know exactly where you’ll end up. The same place you always do.
Alone at the sidelines.
You grab a drink, bringing it to your lips a little too quickly, hoping the cool burn will settle the unease twisting in your stomach.
"Hey! It’s been a while!" A voice cuts calls out, familiar—but not familiar enough. You turn to see a girl skidding towards you, her face vaguely recognizable. A former classmate? A clubmate? Someone who once sat next to you in a lecture hall?
"How have you been?" she asks, taking a drink for herself.
"I’m fine, thanks," you reply, forcing an easy nod before taking another sip.
A second passes, and then another girl joins the conversation, breathless with laughter. "Beom-seok finally let me go," she teases, tilting her head toward the man across the room—her soulmate. "The guy’s obsessed."
"Of course he is," the first girl grins. "He’s your soulmate." She swirls her drink before adding, "Mine just got back from overseas. He’ll see me tomorrow once he’s in the city." And there it is again—circling back to the same topic, the one you can never take part in. You nod, offering a small smile, pretending to listen.
Because what is there to say when everyone else has something you don’t?
"Y/N?" Your name pulls you out of your thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Did you meet yours yet?" The question hits like a slow, squeezing ache in your chest.
"No," you say, reaching for another drink. It's embarrassing that everyone knows you're empty. "I haven't."
"That's… weird, right?" The first girl tilts her head, genuinely puzzled. "I mean, we sat through those lectures together. Didn’t the studies say most people find their soulmate before twenty-five? That’s what the records say."
There’s no malice in her voice, just matter-of-fact. Like she’s pointing out a statistic, saying out what’s already been made painfully clear to you. it’s the same tired reminder, the same unspoken question: what’s wrong with you?
You’re used to it by now.
"Yeah," you say, unwilling to argue. What’s the point? Your mind slips back to those reckless high school days—the days when older girls, too cool and too cruel, mocked you for not having a soulmate. You remember snapping back, pretending their words didn’t sting.
Later, the tears came on the bus ride home—carving rivers down your cheeks as you sob. Strangers offered tissues, soft words, awkward kindness, but none of it could stitch you back together. You remember your mother's words after seeing her home. To stop them from hurting you, you have to accept all of yourself.
But how do you accept the whole of you, when it doesn’t even feel like you have all of you?
From the corner of your eye, you catch the second girl nudging her. "Don’t mind her, Y/N," she says quickly. "She doesn’t always think before she talks." Then, after a beat, she adds, "Have you tried dating in the meantime? You know, while you're waiting?"
You blink at her, taken aback.
"I mean, it's not like it’s cheating, right? Since you haven’t met them yet."
You set your drink down, your fingers suddenly cold. "Why are you suggesting something you wouldn’t even do?" Your voice is calm, but it makes her shift uncomfortably. "Or did you? Does your soulmate know?"
Neither of them speaks. Guilt in their expressions. You don’t wait for an answer. You're done for tonight.
It’s time to go.
You turn away, not bothering to look back. No one needs you here—your part is done. Your role here is over. You pull out your phone, quickly typing out a polite apology to the bride before slipping it back into your pocket.
The drive home is silent, and the buzz of the engine is the only company you have. Your hands grip the wheel a little too tightly, your thoughts drifting despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. When you finally reach your small apartment, you step out, clutching yet another wedding souvenir in one hand a meaningless token of a night that wasn’t yours to celebrate.
You lock the door behind you and lean against it blinking, exhaling shakily. "I guess today wasn’t the day either," you murmur to no one in particular, wiping away the single tear that managed to escape. "What's taking you so long?"
No matter how often you whispered this question, it never hurt any less.
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"What's taking you so long?"
Beomgyu groans from under the covers, trying to burrow deeper into the warmth of his bed. The sudden tug of his blanket makes him blindly reach out, attempting to grab it back. "You shi—"
"Beomgyu, you're the last one. We're all almost ready to go," Soobin says, adjusting his belt in the mirror. "Look at this little child."
Beomgyu stretches with a dramatic yawn. "I'm up, I'm up," he mumbles, sitting up sluggishly and blinking against the light. He swings his legs over the edge of the bed, feet landing on the bedside table. Soobin shakes his head but doesn't stick around—his job is done. Beomgyu is finally awake.
Minutes later, Beomgyu trudges into the living room, hair a mess, voice still deep with sleep. "Are we eating there?"
The entire room turns to look at him.
"You woke up late, and that’s the first thing you care about?" Yeonjun teases, shaking his head with a laugh.
"Well, I didn’t eat last night," Beomgyu grumbles.
"Oh?"
"Liar," the maknae pipes up from the couch, casually applying lip balm. "You literally snuck out to eat."
"You snitch," Beomgyu gasps, feigning betrayal. "I didn’t raise you to turn on me like this!"
"You? Raise me?" Kai scoffs. "Soobin hyung’s the one who raised me, what are you talking about?"
Soobin smirks and chucks Beomgyu’s towel straight at his face. "Exactly. Now go shower, you idiot."
Laughter erupts around the room as Beomgyu groans, trudging toward the bathroom. "Shower quick, hyung," Taehyun calls out.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
Beomgyu’s slightly damp hair clings to the back of his neck. He hadn’t had time to dry it properly before they rushed out of the dorm—there was no room for delays today. A broadcast for their comeback. Another promotion. His stylist would handle it in the green room anyway.
They pile into the van, the usual quiet settling over them. Despite being fully dressed and ready, exhaustion hangs heavy. One by one, his members drift off, heads resting against windows, bodies slumped in their seats. Only Kai remains awake, lost in his own world, music pulsing through his earphones. The maknae was so engrossed on his phone, obviously texting with a small smile on his face.
Beomgyu sighs, pressing his forehead against the cool glass, his breath slightly fogging up the window. Today would be a long day. Rehearsals, performances, a challenge video, taping. He missed this. He missed MOAs. The rush of the stage. The high of performing. And then—
Oh.
The van slows at a red light, and his gaze drifts absentmindedly to the sidewalk. His chest tightens.
A couple walks by, laughing, hands intertwined, completely lost in their own world. The way they move together, effortlessly in sync. In love. Content. Happy. He stares longer than he should.
He can't look away.
His throat feels tight as the van lurches forward again, pulling him out of his thoughts. He blinks hard, shifting in his seat. The image stayed, pressed into the back of his mind.
All four of his members had already found theirs—their soulmates. The one they could lean on when the world became too loud. Beomgyu was happy for them, of course, he was. He remember how he was when Kai blushed when he met his soulmate recently, right after his 23rd birthday.
Everyone teased the maknae relentlessly for weeks.
Beomgyu had been too busy his whole life, training since he was just a kid, running full speed toward a dream. His mind is busy to the point he sometimes forgets it. He does not mean to. It's just that—he never let himself dwell on it for too long. Pushing it aside became second nature, the same way he’d forget to eat when he was too busy, too distracted.
But every year, without fail, when the room dimmed and the birthday candles in front of him, his wish was always the same.
His soulmate.
It didn’t matter how many years passed or how much he achieved—when the glow of those tiny flames danced in his eyes, it was the only thing his heart whispered.
Beomgyu exhales shakily, his fingers curling into his hoodie. a quiet sigh slipping from his pouting lips.
Where are you?
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The stark white walls of the hospital room loom over, mocking your awkwardness.
"There's nothing wrong with you, dear," the woman in front of you says, her lab coat lending a sense of authority to her words. Her voice is gentle, reassuring, but it barely soothes the unease twisting in your chest. "Soulmates do tend to find each other early, statistically speaking. But that’s just a pattern, not a guarantee."
You swallow hard. The lump in your throat stays put. "Is there… any chance this is a mistake?" Your voice is quieter than you intend, fragile in a way you hate. "That someone could go their whole life without one? That—" you hesitate, your chest tightening, "that I’m just… meant to be alone?"
Something flickers across her face—pity, maybe. You’re not sure. "I’ll look into it, I promise," she says after a moment. "I know twenty-six feels late, and I know it’s frustrating. But… trust in destiny a little longer. If you want, I can also recommend a therapist. I know the pressure can get to you."
Her words are meant to be comforting. They only make the weight in your chest heavier. You shake your head, managing a quiet “thank you” before slipping out of the room, the door clicking shut behind you.
“How was it?” Da-hee’s voice reaches you before you even look up. She’s already on her feet, eyes scanning your face, searching for an answer. “What did they say?”
“Nothing I haven’t heard before.” You sigh, walking past her. “I told you I should not do this.”
She huffs, crossing her arms as she falls into step beside you. “You never tried it,”
Your best friend doesn’t argue anymore, following you to the counter in silence. The cashier barely looks up as they say, “That consultation is $120 total, plus taxes, bringing it to $145.86. Card or cash?”
You catch Da-hee reaching for her wallet, but you gently push her hand away. “Don’t,” you murmur. “This was for me.”
You hand over your card. A quick swipe, a faint beep. And just like that, you’re down nearly $150 with nothing to show for it but a sinking feeling in your stomach.
That much money for a consultation. A conversation. No treatment, no tests, nothing tangible. Soulmate doctors are expensive. Too expensive. And health insurance? Useless. They don’t cover something as rare, as unquantifiable, as soulmate problems.
Because to them, it’s not a real sickness, proving that you are—once again—the outlier.
Perfect.
“Come on,” you say, nudging your still-guilty-looking friend. She follows you out of the hospital, quiet and pouting.
At the car, she pulls open the driver’s side door. “Let me at least drive?” she offers, voice softer now.
You chuckle at her persistence, shaking your head before tossing her the keys. “Okay.” Sliding into the passenger seat, you reach for the radio, as she pulls out of the parking lot.
"Let's hang out at your place," Da-hee says, and she grins as she sees you nod your head.
Music played softly through the speakers, blending with the casual flow of conversation. The air is light, and easy—until your car rolls past a towering black building.
HYBE.
Funeral wreaths. Trucks. Massive banners.
Your brows furrow as you take it in, the sight so jarring that it silences you for a beat. The road ahead clogs with slowed traffic, people lingering to gawk at the scene.
“What the fuck?” Da-hee mutters, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, eyes darting across the scene. The traffic slows as more people crane their necks to look. You do the same, stomach twisting at the sheer scale of it. "This is insane."
“What’s going on?” you ask, still trying to piece together the meaning behind it all.
She exhales, lips pressing into a thin line. “Lee Heeseung. An idol,” she starts. “News got out that he recently went out with his soulmate.” Her voice dips, sadness flickering across her face. “And now… now, people want him out of the group.”
Your stomach twists. “What?”
You strain to read the bold, angry messages plastered across the banners:
GET LEE HEESEUNG OUT OF HYBE.
APOLOGIZE, LEE HEESEUNG.
EXPLAIN THIS, LEE HEESEUNG.
ENHYPEN IS NOW ONLY SIX.
IDOLS WITH SOULMATES ARE NOT IDOLS.
The messages feel suffocating, each one worse than the last. Then you see it—one of the trucks, its LED screen flashing an image like a public execution.
A man, young and striking, caught mid-laughter as he eats ramen with a girl beside him. She’s smiling too, her expression warm, content. The matching caps on their heads make them look like any ordinary couple, but the grainy, long-lens quality of the photo gives it away. Someone had been watching. Someone had been waiting to expose them.
Your stomach turns.
“It’s worse when so many fans are… young,” Da-hee murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. “Most of them are stringless.” She says the last word carefully like she doesn’t want to offend you.
But you almost hear what she isn’t saying.
Stringless people can’t understand the soulmate bond. And when it comes to idols, that misunderstanding twists into darker. As insane as it sounds, they feel entitled. Possessive. Like their devotion should be enough. Like an idol’s life—who they love, who they belong to—should be theirs to control.
It’s the only explanation, isn’t it?
The car inches forward, and your eyes drift back to the scene outside. Security guards push against the surging crowd, their faces strained. The banners wave wildly, like battle flags in a war meant to punish.
You swallow hard. “I don’t get it.” You don’t know him. You don't need to know him to know the injustice of it. “Why treat him like he committed some kind of crime? He’s meant to have someone. He’s a person, not—” You gesture vaguely at the protest, frustration bubbling up. “Not their property.”
Da-hee sighs. “That’s why idols who are caught with their soulmates—especially the ones who confirm it, get cancelled. Fans turn on them. They lose everything.” She shakes her head, voice laced with exhaustion and resignation. “It’s sad that they have to hide it.”
The thought of society hating someone just for loving who they’re meant to love makes your chest feel tight. How could something meant to be beautiful turn into this?
You guess your own situation isn’t the only cruel, unfair thing in this world.
The two of you make it back to your apartment, settling in for a movie with a bowl of popcorn between you. The glow of the TV flickers across the room, a comfortable silence stretching between you—until Da-hee suddenly squeals, nearly knocking the popcorn over in the process.
“Oh my god,” she gasps, shoving the popcorn bowl off her lap as she scrambles to her feet. “OH MY GOD.” She starts stomping in place.
You glance at her, unimpressed. “I want to wipe that ridiculous grin off your face.”
She just giggles and shoves her phone in front of you. “Joon bought me VVIP tickets. I’m going to die.” She pumps a fist in the air, bouncing on her toes like a kid who just won the lottery. “And there’s two. He can’t go—oh my god. Please, please, I am begging you to come with me. It’s next week! That sneaky bastard didn’t even tell me he bought them ages ago.”
You hesitate, already feeling the excuse forming on your tongue. “I don’t think—”
“Come on, Y/N.” She grabs your arm, shaking it dramatically. “Look at me. I have a soulmate, and I still thirst over Tomorrow X Together.”
You nearly choke on your drink. “That’s a long-ass name.”
“They’re my babies,” she says, clutching her chest like she’s been personally blessed by the gods. “You’ll love the show, I promise. And maybe—you’ll be like me. While you wait for your soulmate, it’s harmless to fangirl a little. OMG, what if you become a MOA? That’s my dream. Imagine us going to cafés with photocards, buying merch, collecting albums—”
“Okay, first of all, they are grown men. Not babies.” you cut in before she spirals. You know from experience that once she starts talking about her fangirl life, she never stops. “Anyways, okay, I’ll go. But don’t expect anything.”
Da-hee lets out another excited squeal before launching herself at you, wrapping her arms around your neck and squeezing way too tight.
“You won’t regret this!”
You already do.
It was your turn to trail behind Da-hee like a lost puppy, weaving through the sea of fans decked out in carefully coordinated outfits. Everyone is well dressed. So prepared. Keychains and accessories dangled from their bags, the sound of clinking metal filling the air.
"Look at them," Da-hee suddenly stopped, pulling out her phone. You followed her gaze to the massive banner hanging outside the arena.
TOMORROW X TOGETHER
They... didn’t look bad.
"My husbands," Da-hee sighed dreamily spinning turning to you with wide eyes. "Let's take a selfie!"
Before you could protest, she yanked you in, holding her phone high. The two of you posed—her grinning ear to ear, you looking like a reluctant daughter humoring her overexcited mom.
At the ticketing section, an attendant handed you both event wristbands and ID laces. You're about to shove yours into your pocket, but Da-hee looped it around your neck like a medal.
“So you don’t lose it,” she said firmly.
You sighed, adjusting the strap as you followed her toward a merch booth. Fans swarmed the display, eyes gleaming as they scanned the shelves stacked with albums, shirts, and accessories.
"Everyone's so hyped," you muttered, glancing around. "I can see a lot of Da-hees here."
"Of course they are," Da-hee said ignoring your last comment with a dramatic sway of her hand. She skimmed the display. "This comeback is a masterpiece."
You frowned. "What are we even doing here?"
"You need a picket." She says. "And don’t even think about saying no. I’m still heartbroken you refused the lightstick, so at least take this. We’re gonna be right at the barricades, you can’t just stand there empty-handed. Pick one."
You groaned, "Fine."
Your eyes sweep over the options, scanning each face printed on the glossy boards. You won’t say it out loud—not yet—but you’ll admit it now. They’re all… ridiculously handsome.
And one of them stands out.
Soft brown eyes. A small, almost knowing smile. Something about his face makes your breath hitch. "Uh..."
Da-hee leans in, brow furrowing. "What are you picking? Wait. Are you okay? Why are you so red—"
"I'm not," You quickly pointed at the picket, avoiding her stare like your life depended on it. "This one."
A slow, mischievous grin spreads across her face. "Oh-ho." She turns to the waiting merch seller, smiling some more.
"One Beomgyu, please."
You followed her... once again.
You didn’t have much of a choice. But this time, your steps felt… lighter. Movements are less reluctant than when you first arrived.
You weren’t sure why. Maybe it was the way the heat had finally eased, the golden glow of late afternoon settling over the pavement. Maybe it was the way MOAs—total strangers—smiled at you like you belonged, their warmth making you feel strangely at ease. Maybe it was the fact of not hearing the word soulmate even once. That you don't feel the odd one out.
Or maybe—just maybe—it was the picket you now held carefully in your hands.
You didn’t know how it happened. How you went from teasing Da-hee about her obsession to clutching a piece of laminated paper like it meant something. But the more you looked around, the more you understood.
It wasn’t just about the idols printed on banners or the music playing faintly in the background. But also, it was about them. These people who glowed with excitement, who found joy in simply being here, in loving unapologetically.
You were sceptical of it at first, seeing the front of HYBE last week. The protest. But just like everything, you saw it. The good side of being a fan.
How they shined—not only because of who they adored, but because of how they adored. How happy they were to love, and to share that love with everyone around them.
And somehow, standing here among them, you felt a little brighter, too.
"Where are we going now?"
"MOAZONE," Da-hee answers without hesitation, pulling you toward yet another booth. The concert doors won’t open for another thirty minutes, but she’s on a mission. The funny thing is—she doesn’t really need to drag you anymore.
Something has settled in your bones. You’re going to see this through, stay until the last song fades. And maybe—you’ll find yourself here again next time.
"It’s a booth where you can pull a concert-exclusive photocard," she explains further, eyes shining with excitement.
You nod, letting her lead the way. The line is long. When it’s finally Da-hee’s turn, she gasps, then squeals so loudly people around her chuckle. "Yeonjun!" she cries, clutching the card to her chest like it’s the most precious thing in the world. "I got him!"
Then, it’s your turn.
A row of face-down cards is laid out before you. You don’t think too hard about it—you just point to one.
The staff hands it over, and when you flip it, your breath catches.
"You got Beomgyu?!" Da-hee shrieks, bouncing on her toes beside you. You barely hear her. Because there he is.
Elbow propped up, chin resting on his hand, that same small, knowing smile—only this time, it’s wider.
Fucking hell.
Da-hee grabs your arm, shaking you. "Girl, you are officially a Beomgyu magnet. I'm unfriending you if don't start liking them,"
Beomgyu.
Beomgyu. His name loops in your mind, over and over. And for some reason, it fits. His name suits him.
You tried your best not to break a smile. "Come on,"
If you had told yourself a year ago that you’d be here—crammed into a packed venue, surrounded by screaming teenagers—you would’ve laughed. Hard.
And yet, here you are, laughing. Not at the absurdity of it, but with it. Caught up in the moment with Da-hee, the crowd’s energy vibrates as hundreds of voices chant their names.
“It’s soundcheck first,” Da-hee leans in, her voice barely cutting through the noise. “Then the main concert.”
You nod, still grinning. “Okay.”
Then, the opening notes of a song play through the speakers. The crowd erupts. “Oh my god!” Da-hee shrieks, “It’s Deja Vu!”
The five of them step onto the stage. It’s a blur—lights flashing, voices screaming. Your heart pounds against your ribs as the music swells, wrapping around you like something alive.
It’s beautiful.
A tall man—easily the tallest—moves toward your section, waving with an easy smile, deep dimples carving into his soft-looking cheeks. It reminds you of bread. The warmth of it is infectious, and before you even realise it, you're waving back, grinning at someone whose name you didn’t even know this morning.
Then, the song begins to wind down. And that’s when you see him.
Beomgyu.
His steps are slower than the others, like he’s taking his time, scanning the crowd with careful eyes. You tell yourself not to look. Not when he gets closer. Not when that strange, restless nervousness twists in your stomach. You clench your fists and stare at the ground. Why? Why does this feel so overwhelming?
Around you, voices grew. The energy shifts, and you know it’s only a matter of time before you give in. You look up, unsure.
The mic is at his lips, his voice singing into the melody—until suddenly, he stops.
All because his eyes meet yours.
Everything else fades. The crowd, the shake of Da-hee beside you, even the music that was supposed to be loud. All that’s left is the pull—a red thread stretching between, searing itself into your vision, blinding in its intensity—demanding to be seen.
On stage, he stands impossibly still, his fingers gripping the mic like he sees it too.
It can't be real.
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“We're trending again,” Taehyun says, flopping onto Beomgyu’s hotel bed with a sigh. “What the hell?”
Beomgyu leans back against the headboard, “How much time do we have?”
Taehyun checks his watch. “Practice is in… oh. Hours.” He exhales, shaking his head in awe. “This is actually happening. A sold-out stadium, Beomgyu. Can you believe that? Remember that tiny, run-down building we used to train in? The cracked floorboards, the growing mushrooms?” He laughs, eyes distant.
“When Yeonjun used to sneak his soulmate in, trying to show off like he was already famous? As a trainee. And now—now, we’re here.”
Beomgyu snorts. “In that practice room, too. I still don’t know how his soulmate put up with that. Or how Yeonjun didn’t get kicked out.”
“Yeah. They just couldn’t let go of each other.” Taehyun laughs, shaking his head. “And I don't think Big Hit will let go of him too."
It had been one of the first rules drilled into them during training—no soulmates. No... searching. And if they already had one? They had to tell them. Have the conversation. An agreement that would turn everything into a secret.
Soulmates were inevitable, unstoppable. Beomgyu still remembers the contract in his hands, the way he read every word over and over, heart pounding. As if somewhere in the fine print, there was a clause that might hurt his soulmate. In the end, he signed.
If he ever found his soulmate, no one could know. Not until everything was over. In other words, disbandment.
"I'm missing her like crazy these days."
Beomgyu doesn’t respond right away. He just shrugs, tossing things out of his suitcase—a hoodie, a toothbrush, whatever his hands find first. He had noticed how restless Taehyun had been, the way he kept his phone glued to his hands, typing, hesitating, typing again. But what was there to say? What could he do about it?
The others were good at pretending. Hiding. The quiet hotel meetups, the stolen hours between schedules. But if Beomgyu was being honest, he could count on both hands the number of times any of the four had actually been with their soulmates since debut.
The fear of getting caught kept them all in line. Not just by the company, but by the fans. The horror stories weren’t just industry rumours—some were ancient, some recent.
If this doesn’t work out, I don’t know if I can take it. Taehyun had said that once. This career was everything. He wasn’t going to risk it. He wasn't ready. And Beomgyu understood. Everyone understood. He could already picture the protest trucks outside the company building if anyone ever slipped up.
"You heard anything from Heeseung?" Taehyun asks, his voice careful, his fingers tightening around his phone. Beomgyu knows him well enough to catch the shift—the way his mind drifts, went from missing his soulmate to remembering the latest scandal in their world.
Heeseung, the newest idol thrown into the fire.
He, who got caught with his soulmate.
"Yeah," Beomgyu says, swallowing. "He's okay, but… his soulmate is taking the worst of it."
Taehyun stills. The thought of his own soulmate being dragged into something like that—starts to burn at the back of his mind. What if it were her?
"Hey, don't overthink it," Beomgyu says because he sees it. He sees it in all of them. The quiet way they carry it, that they aren’t supposed to want. In their world, the idea that you should be free with your soulmate is just that—an idea. Or maybe worse. A peril. A risk too big to take.
He remembers Soobin crying once, blaming himself for wanting this life—this job. And how, in the end, the only person who could calm him down was his soulmate. The same person the company treated like a liability. Yet, the only one with the power to bring their leader back to himself.
The irony.
He also remembers the night he sat with his dad, asking him how he knew Mom was his. He had tilted his head, recounting their encounter, before he said one thing that stuck with him.
"Before I even saw the string, I knew… it was her."
Beomgyu used to cringe at that. Now, he wonders if he'll ever get the chance to feel it.
“Did you see everyone? Insane.” Yeonjun says, eyes wide as they sit in the salon-like chairs. “They’ve been out there since last night.”
Kai glances at him as much as he can without moving his head, his makeup artist carefully blending eyeshadow. “Yeah, I saw them. MOAs are bundled up out there, and it’s freezing. It's worrying me.”
"I feel like I'm about to throw up. I'm nervous,"
Playing a stadium—a sold-out one, this is the dream. The one every trainee chases, the one Beomgyu used to stare at the ceiling imagining, too afraid to believe it could ever be real. And yet, here it is.
His mind pulls him back to the past. The long nights, the aching muscles, the quiet sobs muffled into his pillow. The moments of doubt, the voices—his own, the other's—telling him he wasn’t enough. He remembers how hard they worked. How hard he worked. How many times they shared one meal because they couldn't afford another one. And still, somehow, they held on.
He knows he earned this, and fought for it with everything he had. But standing here now, bathed in the price of it all, it still doesn’t feel real. He stares at his hands once his stylist is done with his eyes. There’s something else tugging at him, a strange feeling that’s been lurking since morning.
What it is, he can’t quite say.
Beomgyu's eyes sweep over the big space. The kind of big that makes his head spin if he thinks about it too much. In a few hours, this place will be much packed. He’s been—on stages just like this, under lights just as bright but somehow, it still knocks the wind out of him.
It's soundcheck. He likes it because, with the lights up, he can actually see everyone. It was one of the rare moments he could see faces. He likes it as much as the offline fan signs. They move through the set, running back and forth across the stage, but his feet keep pulling him toward one side—like an instinct.
Beomgyu likes looking at MOAs. It feels good. Familiar, almost. Sometimes, he even recognizes a face— it was a feeling like a reminder of home, a classmate from school, someone he’d seen before. And then there’s the simple joy of it all. The way someone’s face brightens up because of him. It never gets old. It never stops making him happy, too.
But then, he notices one weird thing.
It’s strange. He’s right here. He could understand if you were looking at another member—fans have their favourites, after all. But you’re not looking at anyone. You're staring at the floor?
You’re not looking at all.
He tilts his head, trying to see better—to get a curious glimpse, and suddenly, his whole world shifts. His heart slams to a stop. It’s so sudden, so overwhelming, he almost stumbles forward, yanking him toward the barricade. "What?"
And then—you move, as if you heard his thoughts.
Just the slightest turn of your head, your face lifting, eyes locking onto his. He stops breathing. His fingers go numb around the mic. Everything slows, softens, blurs at the edges until there’s nothing but this moment. Just the two of you, staring.
The closeness of Beomgyu makes the crowd shift, bodies pressing closer—but you don’t move. You just stand there—still, steady—while the rest of the world shifts around you. Like the last grain of sand in an hourglass, holding on as everything else rushes past.
He swears he would’ve stayed like that forever—frozen, staring, lost—if not for the firm hand on his shoulder. A small tug. He blinks, the spell breaking just enough for reality to slip back in.
"Beomgyu? What's wrong?" Soobin. His leader gives him a look of worry and urgency, and that’s when he hears it, the music. He closes his agape lips, and clears his throat. The song is still playing. Right. He’s supposed to be—
But then his gaze flickers back to you.
It’s nothing, he tells himself. You’re just so so pretty. That’s all. Maybe it was your eyes or your hair or the way you did it. It was just fucking cute. It doesn’t mean anything. And—
His breath falters. He sees it.
He hadn’t noticed before. He had been too busy looking at you. Too caught up in the moment that he missed it entirely. Something all of the members have. Something Beomgyu had waited for his whole life.
The thread.
Thin, and so impossibly red. A string stretched between, glowing faintly under the stage lights. He looks down at his hand—at his ring finger— it's tied there. His eyes trace its path. To you. His chest tightens.
"Before I even saw the string, I knew… it was her."
Soulmate.
You’re his. After everything—after all this time—
He finally found you.
The dressing room is a blur of movement, stylists rushing, last-minute adjustments being made, and voices overlapping but he just sits there. Staring at the floor.
He’s dressed. He’s ready. He should be used to this by now, the pre-show jitters, the nervous energy that always sits in his chest before he steps on stage. But—his soulmate is out there. Somewhere in the crowd. And the thought grips him so tight it almost hurts. What if he never sees you again? What if you’re gone before he can find you?
Your face lingers in his mind, vivid and haunting. The way the lights hit your dress, the way you looked at him—it knocked the breath right out of his lungs. He was completely unprepared for it. You were so beautiful that he almost forgot what he was doing.
He’s never been shaken like that before. Not in his personal life. Not as an idol. Not in school, at the company, on stage, meeting seniors, at award shows—never.
Waiting for the music queue, he finally lifts his head.
Muscle memory takes over. His body knows what to do. He’s trained for this, conditioned for it. Every movement, every note, every expression—it’s muscle memory now. His instincts take over before his thoughts can catch up. This is his life. His career. The one thing he chose, out of everything he could have been. How many people in the world get to do this? To stand under those lights, to hear thousands of voices calling his name, to live a dream most wouldn’t even dare to chase?
Would he trade it all, just to see you again?
His feet move—before he can stop them, despite his thoughts, his heart pulls him stronger toward your section. It's a force beyond his control. When he finally sees you again, it feels like a miracle. You’re still near the barricade, still close enough that he doesn’t have to search.
He keeps up, waves, and makes faces—things for MOAs, things he’s done a thousand times before. But his mind isn’t on them. It’s on you. And you’re just standing there again, frozen in place like you don’t trust yourself to move.
He waves again, but this time, it’s for you. Directly. You tilt your head, hesitant, and then—an unsure wave back. It’s so small, so subtle, but it makes him smile. His grin spreads before he can think twice.
Got you, beautiful.
He pumps his fist in an exaggerated show of triumph, like he just won a game only the two of you are playing. He watches as your eyes go wide, and if the lights weren’t so blinding, he swears he’d see the warmth rising to your cheeks. He fists his hand, trying to hold back from reaching out to you.
He crouches, and the fans around you surge forward, eager to be seen, but you don’t move. You stay there. You don’t reach or push or fight for space. You just look at him.
And then, he sees it—your eyes kept flickering downward, tracing the thread again and again, like you were making sure.
Yet you see it perfectly too.
You smile—small, hesitant, like you’re not sure this is really happening. Then, as if on impulse, you lift your hand, forming a careful, uncertain hand heart.
He doesn’t even wait a second before returning it.
His eagerness made you laugh. A breathless, disbelieving kind of laugh. He can’t hear it, not over the noise of the crowd, but he sees it in the way your shoulders shake, the way your eyes crease at the corners. His chest aches.
You're even more beautiful when you laugh.
He tosses a few kisses out into the air, but he gives his last kiss, the last one to you. You hesitate for only a second before sending one back. His response is instant—dramatic, ridiculous—clutching his chest like you’ve just shot him straight through the heart. He stumbles back, clutches at his clothes, so completely gone for you.
It’s meant to be a joke, but it isn’t.
Because you do have his heart, don’t you? And the strangest thing is, he doesn’t even know your name. Has never heard your voice. But right now, none of that matters. Maybe he’d stay here forever if he could, but the next song cut through the air, pulling him back to the present. His feet move, leading him away—away from you.
Before he joins the centre, just for a second, he looks back. A second to meet your eyes again, to make sure you're watching him.
And you are.
"Hyung," he breathes out.
Soobin turns, both of them standing still as stylists tug their sweat-drenched shirts off, replacing them with fresh ones.
But Beomgyu isn’t thinking about the show anymore.
He’s looking at Soobin. Waiting. Searching for the right way to ask without anyone else catching on. He doesn’t want them to hear. Doesn’t want them to know.
Not yet.
Soobin frowns slightly. “What? You've been looking distracted since earlier. Are you okay?”
Beomgyu’s throat tightens as his stylist tugs at his sleeves, smoothing fabric into place. His eyes flicker down, just for a second. She’s focused on her work, not listening. Still—he lowers his voice.
“Your soulmate…” His eyes flicker down. He hesitates, searching for the right words. The right way to say this. "At—Tokyo? How did you…?"
He doesn’t need to finish the thought. How can the older forget the only time he managed to sneak his soulmate backstage? Soobin stares at Beomgyu. The latter's face is practically screaming his questions. How did you do it? How did you get them backstage? How did you make it happen?
Beomgyu has to see you. In front of him. Next to him. Because what if you disappear? What if he lets this slip through his fingers, and suddenly—you’re just gone? And what if this is his only chance?
The room moves around him—zippers, voices, fabric rustling—but all he can hear is his own ragged breathing. He moves his eyes. And there, watching him is their leader who knows him better than anyone—with that equally knowing look on his face.
"Let's talk. Just the two of us."
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Beomgyu is your soulmate.
The boys just disappeared backstage, their song still ringing in your ears, but your hands won’t stop shaking. Your chest is tight, your throat burns, and there’s a sting at the corners of your eyes.
You're not a mistake. He’s here. He saw you.
His eyes, his smile. The way he moves, the faint dimple that appears when he does. The thought is too much—it makes your knees weak, and forces you to grip the barricade to keep yourself upright.
"Girl, I swear Beomgyu kept looking over here," Da-hee says, nudging you, completely oblivious to the storm unraveling in your chest. Then she catches sight of your face—at your trembling fingers, at the way you can’t seem to catch your breath.
“Y/N?” Her voice softens. “What’s wrong?”
The words leave your lips before you can even think. "I saw my soulmate."
Your voice shakes, barely above a whisper, but Da-hee hears it. Her eyes go wide. "Wait, what? Oh my god—where is he? Is he a MOA? Is he—”
She doesn’t even get to finish the thought before she freezes.
It clicks.
Then, slowly, her face shifts—from confusion to shock to absolute disbelief. The finding out, then the realising. She stares at you, her mouth slightly open, her hands hovering in the air like she doesn’t know what to do with them.
“Oh my fucking god.” Her hands fly to her mouth, like she needs to physically stop herself from screaming. Then she grabs her hair, like that’s going to help her process this.
“Is he—is Beomgyu—” She cuts herself off, whisper-shouting now, eyes darting toward the stage, toward the place where he just was. “Is that why he kept coming back over here?”
Her grip tightens on your arm, searching your face, waiting for you to confirm what she already knows. But you can’t say anything. All you can give is a small nod.
Minutes pass. The music swells and fades, song after song drifting through the speakers.
Da-hee stays by your side, rubbing soothing circles on your back, whispering reassurances you can’t fully process. At some point, you catch her sniffling into her hands, wiping away her own tears.
Sixteen years.
Sixteen years of friendship, of growing up together, of knowing each other better than anyone else ever could. She’s seen every version of you—the messy, the broken, the parts of you even you struggled to accept. She’s cried with you, cried for you, carried your grief like it was her own. Even after finding her own soulmate, she never left you behind. Never made you feel like you were missing something, like you were less.
And now—now she’s the reason you’re here.
She’s the reason you met him.
You think of every birthday candle she ever closed her eyes for, every whispered wish she made on your behalf—because she believed that if two people wished for the same thing, the universe had to listen.
And maybe she was right.
It doesn’t matter if he never speaks to you. If the lights were too bright, if the crowd was too big, if he never even saw the thread at all.
It doesn’t matter. Because you saw it.
And that means you were never a mistake. Never some error in the grand design.
He exists.
Da-hee squeezes your hands, grounding you as a woman in staff uniform approaches. Her eyes lock onto yours, scanning your face, your outfit—like she’s confirming, making sure. Then, she stops directly in front of you. “We need to check some information on your tickets.”
Your heart slams against your ribs. You’re not stupid. You know what this is. You know they wouldn’t say it outright, not here, not in front of all these people.
“I—I have a friend with me,”
The staff member hesitates, studying you for a beat too long. Then she nods. “She can come with you, but she’ll have to wait in the holding room.”
You turn to Da-hee, and she’s already looking at you, her eyes wide and glassy. For a moment, neither of you speaks. Then she forces a wobbly smile.
Let's go.
You’re going to meet Beomgyu.
The walk was terrifying. Your hands clench tighter with every step, nails digging into your palms, but it does nothing to steady you. Every passing glance burns into your skin—people sneaking curious glances—staff members, crew, people who know exactly why you’re here.
Da-hee had to stay behind in the outer lounge. Now, it’s just you and the staff member leading you deeper into the backstage hallways. The air is thick, suffocating, and you force yourself to breathe through it.
Then she stops. A white door stands in front of you. Dressing Room is printed neatly on a sign, but the words blur as your mind spins.
She knocks. Opens it.
Panic rushes in. What if he doesn’t want this? What if he only let you come here to reject you—to tell you, to your face, that even if the universe says you’re meant to be, he doesn’t want you? What if—
The thought vanishes the second you see him.
Beomgyu.
He’s mid-step, like he’s been pacing. He removes his hands from his face, his eyes widening just slightly before he clears his throat. “Come in,” he says, voice softer than you expected. It’s meant for the staff member, but his gaze never left yours.
The staff steps aside, gesturing for you to enter. Heat crawls up your neck as you force yourself to move, hyper-aware of the way he’s watching every step.
“You have 60 minutes, Beomgyu,” she says before closing the door behind you.
Beomgyu stares at you, and you stare back.
For a moment, neither of you move. Just standing there, eyes locked, as if the world has paused just for this. To anyone else, it might look awkward—but you can't look away as he does.
Your eyes traces over his face, bare and fresh like he just washed up. The soft curve of his cheekbones, the freckles and moles scattered like constellations—proof that the universe took its time with him. Perfect in a way that makes your chest ache.
He blinks, and your eyes catch on his lashes—delicate, dark, fluttering against his skin like something out of a dream.
How can someone be made this perfect?
The question lodges itself in your throat, and before you can stop it, your vision blurs. Tears threaten to spill, but you blink them away. You don’t even know if he wants this yet—
"What’s your name?" Beomgyu asks, his voice quieter than he expected. He watches the way you blink, the slight parting of your lips like you hadn’t expected him to speak first.
His hands curl into fists at his sides. The urge to reach out—to cup your face, to feel your skin—is overwhelming. But he holds himself back.
Beomgyu has never considered himself the kind of person to take the first step. But not this. Not with you. He wants to start a conversation, anything—to get you talking, to hear your voice, to know you.
"Y/N." The sound of your voice stills him. It settles in his chest, not as something new, but as something he swears he’s always known—like a song he’s heard in a dream, waiting to be remembered. His lips twitch into a small, almost dazed smile.
Your voice is so pretty, he thinks. So pretty that it hurts.
He repeats your name, slower this time, rolling it over his tongue like he’s memorizing the way it feels to say it. And when you smile—just the faintest curve of your lips—his own smile widens into a grin.
"So, uh, hi?" Beomgyu says, and it pulls a laugh from you. His heart stumbles over itself at the sound, warmth blooming in his chest. It’s ridiculous, really, how easily you affect him.
"Did you come here alone?" he asks, trying to steady himself.
"I was with a friend," you say, and his eyes flicker—just for a second—to your lips before settling back on yours. "She’s outside."
"Hm." Beomgyu nods slowly, as if letting the thought settle. Then, slowly, he reaches out—his palm open, facing up, an unspoken invitation for you to give your hand out.
Your breath catches. Hesitation flickers for just a moment before you place your hand in his. Beomgyu feels warmth creep up his neck the second your skin meets, a flush he hopes you don’t notice. His fingers curl gently around yours, testing the weight of your hand in his own.
"Come on," he says, his voice softer now. He tugs you forward—careful, gentle, afraid he's hurt you in any way if he pulls too hard. "You should sit. You must be tired from standing out there."
"I could say the same," you murmur as you both sink into the couch. Beomgyu turns slightly toward you, his knee brushing yours, but he doesn’t let go of your hand. His thumb traces absentminded circles against your skin. "You danced and ran around the stage all night," you add, tilting your head at him.
He chuckles, the sound low and a little breathless. Your eyes drift around the room—clothing racks, scattered bags, the quiet remnants of a space that had been buzzing with energy just minutes ago.
"Yeah, I was pretty tired," he admits. Then, after a pause, softer this time, when you look at him again, he’s already staring. "But not anymore."
Beomgyu takes in everything—your lips, the way the light catches in your eyes, the soft of your hand in his. He doesn’t even think before he speaks, before the thought that’s been looping in his head since he first saw you finally slips past his lips.
"God, you're so beautiful."
Beomgyu watches as your cheeks flush, the warmth creeping up your skin like the slow bloom of dawn. He knew—you were his soulmate. Fates stitched together long before this moment, yet nothing could have prepared him for the way you looked right now. He never imagined that watching you blush under his words would feel this intoxicating.
"You’re the one who’s beautiful," you murmur, barely above a whisper. The words feel foreign on your tongue, yet true in a way that unsettles you. You clear your throat, trying to mask the way your heart stumbles over itself, but Beomgyu only tightens his grip on your hand.
You wonder how you even got here. This morning, you woke up with no idea that by evening, you'd be sitting across from your soulmate, flirting like it was the most natural thing in the world.
He chuckles—Beomgyu has heard the word beautiful more times than he can count. It’s been thrown at him in passing, whispered through screams from fans, printed in glossy magazines. But somehow, from your lips, it sounds different.
The next few minutes passed in easy conversation. Beomgyu had already pieced together bits of your life—you were only here because Da-hee dragged you along—he’d been hoping to meet her too, if only to thank her.
He knew you worked a corporate job, that photography was your escape. That you were two years older than him, a fact that he immediately latched onto, whispering noona in a teasing lilt just to see the way you’d roll your eyes laugh and swat his arm. But the truth was, he didn’t want to call you that. It was your name he wanted to say. He felt like he’d already spent a lifetime missing it, and now that he knew it, he never wanted to stop saying it.
You had learned things about him, too. That he’d loved music since he was a kid, that he picked up a guitar before he fully understood its chords. That he was cast as a trainee before he even hit the climax of his teenage years, and that six years had passed since he debuted. Things you could have easily searched online, or you could have read every article, and watched every interview, but nothing made your heart flutter quite like the way he told his own story.
The contrast between your lives was undeniable. Maybe that’s why it took so long for fate to push you toward each other.
While you were drowning in homework, he was in a practice room, chasing a dream. While you sat through lectures and worried about exams, he was in a studio, recording songs that would echo through stadiums. While you cried over a failed job interview, he stayed up until dawn, running through choreography again and again until his legs gave out. Your society—were parallel lines moving in different directions.
But sitting here, watching him scrunch his nose in laughter, none of that seemed to matter. Two people from different worlds, felt like it had faded into one—just by being next to each other.
He hadn’t once let go of your hand for the past hour.
"No, I just—I didn’t know where else to put it, so I stuck it there." You fumble for an excuse, cheeks burning as Beomgyu grins at you. He had spotted the photocard of him tucked into the back of your phone case, and he hadn’t let it go since.
“And it was random,” you add quickly, feeling your face heat up. “You have to randomly pick it.”
The truth is, Beomgyu knows. He knows it was a random selection. He knows you’re flustered. And he loves it. Loves the way you try to explain yourself, loves hearing you ramble, loves the way your face heats up under his stare. And to be honest, if it had been another member’s face staring back at him, no matter how petty it sounded, he also knows he wouldn’t have been too thrilled about it.
He’s in deep.
"Beomgyu, it's time to go." The same staff member says, pulling you both back to reality. You didn't even hear the doors opening. Her eyes flicker to your joined hands for a second, but she doesn’t say anything—just turns and steps outside.
You glance at Beomgyu, and he’s pouting. "We’re flying to Japan tomorrow morning, Y/N."
"Oh." The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. You just met your soulmate, and by morning, he’d be gone. "Okay."
You stand up, expecting him to do the same, but he doesn’t move. Your hands dangle between you because he still hasn’t let go. "Beomgyu?"
"I’ll see you as soon as I get back, okay?" His voice is softer now, like he’s trying to find the right words. His gaze lingers on you, unreadable for a moment, before he finally stands. He squeezes your hands gently. "It won’t be too long."
"Alright… we have each other's numbers, so… text me."
"Just know your phone might be buzzing non-stop,"
"Got it." You roll your eyes, smiling. "I’ll survive."
"And wear warm clothes—it’s winter."
"You too."
"Eat on time."
"You’re the one doing concerts. I should be the one saying that."
He ignores your deflection, pressing on. "Sleep well. Lock your doors properly. You live alone, so it’s dangerous. Don’t go out too late. And if you do, call me, okay? Actually, I’d prefer if you didn’t go out too late at all. Please—make sure you don’t—"
He doesn’t get to finish. Before he can say another word, you reach up, sliding your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him into a hug. His words cut off instantly, replaced by a soft inhale—like he hadn’t breathed since he started speaking. Your heart squuezes over itself at his endless concern, spreading through your chest. Blinking rapidly, trying to push away the tears threatening to spill.
For the first time tonight, Beomgyu lets go of your hand—only to wrap both arms around you, one firm around your waist, the other reaching up to cradle the back of your head, fingers threading gently through your hair.
"I’ll see you soon, Beomgyu," you murmur.
You feel him tilt his head slightly before pressing a fleeting, warm kiss to your temple. "I’ll see you soon."
Elevators terrify you. It scares you because it feels like everything could come crashing down at any second. Why would you trust something that rises so quickly—too fast?
It can't last, doesn't it?
You feel him snuggle to you more, and you chuckle, pressed against him, his scent, his arms around you, holding you safely—his heartbeat steady beneath your cheek, as if whispering that the fall you fear will never come.
Elevators terrified you.
You wish you could have captured Da-hee’s face when she saw you walking over with Beomgyu beside you, his hand resting firmly on your back. Her eyes widened, mouth slightly agape, before she shot you a knowing look.
Beomgyu offered her a quick thanks, the paper bag with your heels swinging from your hands, and you stood there in the fresh pair of sneakers he’d somehow found in your size—because he wanted to. His eyes met yours for just a second longer before he turned to leave.
The second you stepped into the parking lot, Da-hee lost it. She let out a squeal so loud you had to clamp a hand over her mouth, laughing as she practically vibrated with excitement. "What just happened?!" she whispered against your palm, her eyes sparkling.
That night, as soon as you got home, your phone rang. His name lit up the screen.
It took only a second before answering.
It was awkward at first—neither of you really knowing what to say—but before you knew it, you were talking about everything and nothing, voices laced with exhaustion but neither willing to hang up first. He was leaving in a few hours, and you had to be the one to convince him to sleep, reminding him—more than once—that he had a flight to catch.
You had just curled up in your blankets when your phone buzzed again. Dozy, you reached for it, thumb swiping across the screen.
Choi Beomgyu I’m sorry for making you wait. I promise we’ll make up for all the time we lost. Sleep well, beautiful.
Even as sleep pulled you under, the smile on your lips never faded.
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You wake up to the relentless ringing of your doorbell. A groan slips past your lips as you burrow deeper into your blankets. It’s Sunday. No work. No alarms. Just sleep—at least, that was the plan.
The doorbell rings again.
With an exaggerated sigh, you drag yourself out of bed, doing the bare minimum to look somewhat presentable. Your hair is probably a mess, your face still puffy from sleep, but you don’t care. Whoever decided to disturb your well-earned rest better have a damn good reason.
You glance at the clock on your way out. Oh. It’s not even early—it’s almost 1 PM.
Squinting against the bright light as you crack the door open, you’re met with a sight that instantly wakes you up. A delivery man stands there, arms full, holding the biggest bouquet of red roses you’ve ever seen. The sheer number of petals is overwhelming, a deep sea of crimson spilling over the edges of his grasp.
"What—" Your brain struggles to catch up, and then it clicks. Beomgyu. He asked for your address yesterday.
"Y/N?" The man confirms, struggling under the bouquet.
Your eyes widen. "Damn, just how many are in there?"
"Three hundred and fifteen roses," he says, barely holding onto the mass of flowers. "Please sign here."
Three hundred and fifteen. You’re smiling as you take the pen from him.
You stumble slightly, still half-dazed as you carefully set the massive bouquet down, trying not to crush a single petal. Your fingers tremble as you reach for the small card nestled between the roses, your heart already beating a little too fast.
315 months of not being with you. This won’t make up for it, but I hope it makes you happy.
You inhale sharply. Your chest tightens. 315 months. He counted. Beomgyu counted the exact number of months you’ve been alive—how does he even think like this? Tears prick at your eyes before you can stop them. He’s ridiculous. He’s thoughtful in a way that completely undoes you.
Before you even realise what you’re doing, you’re running. Not walking—running. Because suddenly, every second without hearing his voice feels like a second wasted.
Your fingers fumble as you dial his number, pressing the phone to your ear. It barely rings once before the line clicks open—like he had been waiting for this call all along. “Beomgyu—” your voice comes out uneven, breathless.
He chuckles softly, “So… I take it you liked it?”
It’s already 3 PM.
Somehow, you lost track of time, carefully splitting the bundle into smaller arrangements, placing them in vases around your apartment. Now, your living room and kitchen are drenched in the scent of roses—not that you’re complaining.
Beomgyu had stayed on the phone with you the entire time, talking about his morning, his voice in the background as you worked. That is, until someone called for him on the other end, reminding him he had things to do.
You sighed when the call ended. It's sunday, and his sunday is like the worst day of your week. And you're here, resting.
Now, fresh out of the shower, droplets of water still clung to your skin as you stepped onto the cool tile. A shiver ran down your spine as you grabbed a towel, pressing it to your face, inhaling the soft, familiar scent of fabric softener.
Dressed in cozy clothes, you curled up on the couch, remote in one hand, a bowl of yogurt and berries resting on your lap. Television played softly as you mindlessly scrolled through channels, enjoying the quiet.
Until your phone buzzed. You unlocked it, eyes immediately landing on the message.
Nut-job Da-hee. Girl! He's extra glowy today!! OMG <link>
You tapped the link, expecting a video to pop up, but instead, it directed you to download an app. You went along with it, quickly signing in and typing out a cheeky username.
The video loaded—Soobin and Beomgyu, in a hotel room. A small table sat near the camera, cluttered with food containers and drinks. Beomgyu was on the bed, lounging comfortably but still close enough to be part of the frame.
And Da-hee wasn’t exaggerating—he looked good. The black shirt fit him just right, his dark hair falling effortlessly, lips tinted a soft pink. A phone in hand, completely unaware of just how stunning he looked.
An idea sparked in your mind.
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"It's not barley tea, MOA," Beomgyu laughs, shaking his head as Soobin insists otherwise. No matter how many times their leader repeats himself, the comments keep flooding in, doubting him.
"Choi Beomgyu really traumatized you, huh?" he teases, eyes crinkling with amusement.
"What do you mean?" Beomgyu argues, but Soobin is already moving on, reading a new comment aloud. "Barley tea is healthy,"
Just then, Beomgyu’s phone buzzes. He glances down at the screen.
My Y/N Live?
His back immediately straightens. Shit. You’re watching? He’s about to type out a response when another message pops up.
You look handsome.
Beomgyu presses a hand over his mouth, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. He wants to—
"Beomgyu, MOAs are asking what you're doing," Soobin interrupts, his eyes full of silent curiosity.
"Nothing," Beomgyu says too quickly. "Kai sent a meme." He shifts closer to the camera, Soobin right beside him. With his phone in his hands, he types a message, fully aware that Soobin is peeking at his screen. They probably look ridiculous—both of them staring down at their phones while thousands of people watch.
You're watching?
A few seconds pass before your reply pops up.
Yes.
Beomgyu inhales, trying to focus as Soobin keeps talking. His fingers move instinctively.
I'm shy.
Why? You look good.
A pause. Then another message.
Wait, stop looking at your phone. Let MOA see you? Username: 315flowersmyass.
Beomgyu chokes on a laugh. His lips curl up as he locks his phone and holds it up to the camera, as if to prove he’s done. As if to prove that he followed your words.
"So cute," he sings, the words slipping out without thought. The chat erupts, MOAs spamming hearts and messages.
Then he catches it.
315flowersmyass kekekeke -
His grin stretches wider. He closes his face on the screen. "Hi, MOA." He giggles.
This—this is cute. He’s always enjoyed going live, but now he knows you’re watching, he discovers a love for it he never even knew was possible.
The live eventually comes to an end. As soon as it does, Soobin turns to Beomgyu with a knowing smile. "I'm happy you finally found her," he says simply. Beomgyu doesn’t respond right away—just smiles, warmth spreading through his chest. Then his phone buzzes.
He checks it, and the moment he does, a gasp slips past his lips.
It’s a picture. You.
A snack is held near your face, your expression relaxed. You’re in cozy clothes, looking effortlessly beautiful, breathtaking. The picture made Beomgyu wish he could fly back to you right there and then. Over his shoulder, Soobin leans in. "Is that her?" he asks, then grins. "She's pretty."
Beomgyu doesn’t look away from his phone as his lips curl into a smile.
"She is," he murmurs, almost to himself.
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"She’s here."
Ji-an’s voice pulls you from your focus. She’s standing beside your desk, phone pressed to her ear, while you scan last week’s finance report. Your eyes flick over the spreadsheet, catching an error in a formula, but before you can fix it, Ji-an calls your name. "Y/N, there’s a delivery for you. They’re at the door."
"Oh," you murmur, pushing your reading glasses up the bridge of your nose. Contacts felt like too much trouble today. "Thanks."
As you stand, a familiar warmth spreads through your chest. Outside, the delivery man hands you a bouquet—this time, white roses.
You peek at the note while walking back, the click of your heels filling the space. Your way back to your desk by the window. The skyline stretches endlessly beyond the glass, a vast expanse of city lights and open sky.
Ow! I fell! Fell for you~ —bg <3
A laugh escapes before you can stop it—he's so silly. One of the things you realised recently.
"That's the fourth bouquet this month, Y/N," Ji-an muses, a teasing smile playing on her lips. "I know you just met your soulmate, but flowers every week? That’s next-level sweet. I’m jealous—mine isn't really a flowers kind of person."
You return her smile, "Yeah, he's the sweetest."
It’s been a month since you met Beomgyu. A single day—that’s all you had together. And yet, in the weeks that followed, he never let distance become an excuse. Even with his tour in full swing, miles stretching endlessly between you, he still found ways to reach you. A call in the middle of the night. A voice note filled with sleepy laughter. And these flowers—his way of saying, I'm here. I'm coming back to you soon.
Ji-an leans against your desk, eyes glinting with curiosity. "So… when do we get to meet him?" she asks, wiggling her brows. "You know the drill—everyone meets everyone’s soulmate. It’s basically tradition. At least one or two quick bond drinks a year, right?"
The playful edge in her voice makes your stomach twist. Because as much as you want to laugh along, to pretend that everything is as simple as it should be… you know the truth.
They can’t meet him. Your friends, your family—none of them can. Maybe not now. Maybe not ever. You don’t even know when you will see him again.
You swallow, forcing down the sudden tightness in your throat. The warmth you felt just moments ago, thinking about him, is now laced with something heavier.
"He's—he's busy," you say, hoping your voice doesn’t betray you. You glance at the bouquet on your desk, fingers tracing the petals as if they hold an answer you don’t have. "Maybe next time."
The day finally ends, and you’re grateful Ji-an didn’t push for more.
You clutch the bouquet a little tighter as you step into the elevator, the faint scent of roses lingering in the air. By the time you make it to the parking lot, exhaustion weighs on you—but then you remember.
You forgot to send a text. Pulling out your phone, you type: I’m heading home now.
The message sends, and a small smile tugs at your lips. Beomgyu is probably fast asleep by now, lost in a time zone opposite yours. He won’t see it for hours, but you text him anyway—because you can already hear his voice in your head, playful and pouty. You forgot to tell me again, he’d whine. Can you please let me know?
You’ve learned a lot from him in such a short time. How simple it is to make someone feel remembered. How easy it is to reach out. How even in the busiest moments, there’s always a second to say, I haven’t forgotten you.
Because that’s what he’s been doing for you all along.
You slip your phone back into your pocket, ready to head to your car when someone stops you. Your steps slow, brows knitting together as your scan lands on a girl—sitting right on the hood of your car.
Your car. She’s perched there like she belongs, fingers idly tracing patterns against the metal.
"Hey," you call out, keeping your voice even. "It’s not really polite to sit on someone else’s car, sweetheart."
Her head lifts, eyes locking onto yours with disdain, "Don't sweetheart me, you slut."
The venom in her words knocks the air from your lungs. Your breath catches, shock flashing through you as she stands. She’s young. Much younger than you.
"Excuse me?"
"Are you fucking deaf?" she snaps.
Your instincts flare—this isn’t normal. You take a step back, "Leave. Now. Before I call the police."
But she doesn’t move. Instead, she tilts her head, and smirked. "You’re Beomgyu’s soulmate, aren’t you?"
Your body locks up. How does she know? Your fingers tighten around the stems of the flowers, the thorns pressing into your palm. You want to speak, to deny, to do something, but the words won’t come.
Because you know—whatever you say next could make this worse.
She clicks her tongue, taking a slow step toward you. "Do this while I’m still being nice," she says, voice eerily light. "Stay away from him. Or I’ll destroy everything." She tilts her head again, a slow blink. "I’d rather see him ruined than with you, unnie."
She steps past you then, her shoulder knocking into yours just hard enough to make you stumble back. Your hands cold, heart hammering against your ribs. She doesn’t look back. Not until she’s a few feet away.
"Don’t think I won’t do it," she murmurs. "Just think about how I knew. Your name. Your workplace. Your parking spot."
She smiles, "Don’t test me."
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I’m heading home now.
Beomgyu rubs the sleep from his eyes, his fingers fumbling for his phone the moment he wakes up. Checking for your messages has become second nature—his first instinct, before he even fully shakes off sleep.
The corners of his lips curl into a soft smile as he reads your text. You remembered.
God, he misses you.
When he gets back, he’s not letting you out of his sight. He’ll beg his company if he has to—anything to steal just a little more time with you. He wants to spoil you, to show up with flowers every single day just to see that shy smile of yours. He’d buy you things you didn’t even know you needed, take pictures of you at every chance, make playlists for you, drag you into late-night game sessions just to hear you laugh and call him ridiculous. Love is effort. That’s what his parents always told him. He’d give it—all of it.
Maybe one day, he’d convince you to visit Daegu with him. Introduce you to his family, let his mom fuss over you, watch his brother tease him relentlessly. And Toto… Would you like Toto?
The thought makes him chuckle as he taps your contact and presses call. It rings. Once. Twice. Three times. His smile falters.
Then, voicemail.
His brows knit together. He tries again. Straight to voicemail. The phone feels heavier in his hand now.
It’s the first time you haven’t picked up.
He’s in the van now. It’s been hours.
Beomgyu grips his phone, scrolling through his notifications, eyes darting to every new alert. His heart lifts for a second—only to sink just as fast when he realizes it’s not you. The screen dims in his hands, but he doesn’t put it down. He can’t.
"You still haven’t heard from her?" Soobin asked. He’s the only one still awake, eyes heavy but observant. Beomgyu hadn’t meant to make it obvious, but he’s never been good at hiding things—not to his members.
"No," Beomgyu mutters, shaking his head. His throat feels tight. "We always talk before she falls asleep."
Soobin exhales, tilting his head back against the seat. "She probably crashed as soon as she got home. Long day, maybe?" He keeps his tone easy, reassuring. "Just focus on later's concert. She’ll probably be awake by then."
Beomgyu nods, forcing a small smile. "Yeah. You’re right. Thanks, hyung."
Soobin claps a hand on his back. "Don't think about it too much."
Beomgyu did his best to push thoughts of you aside during the concert. He smiled, he sang, he danced—gave everything to the stage like he always did. But the second he was backstage, drenched in sweat and breathless from the high of performing, his hands were already reaching for his phone.
Still nothing.
Back at the hotel, Soobin and Yeonjun made sure he ate. He forced down a few bites, just enough to keep them from worrying. Now, fresh from a shower, exhaustion settles deep in his bones. His muscles ache, the weight of the night pressing down on him, but sleep won’t come.
His phone sits beside him on the bed. You’re probably asleep. He tells himself that. He should leave it alone.
But knowing doesn’t stop him from pressing call. It rings.
Once. Twice.
He’s about to give up when the line clicks.
“H-Hello?” Beomgyu stutters, his voice unsteady. No response. His heart pounds as he pulls the phone away, checking the screen just to be sure. The call is still connected. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“Beomgyu.” The way you say his name makes his breath catch.
“Are you okay? I’ve been—”
“Beomgyu.” You cut him off again, your voice softer this time. “Yeah, I’m… okay.” He hears you take a shaky breath. “I’ve just been thinking for the past couple of hours, and…” His grip on the phone tightens.
"What is it?"
“Maybe we should lie low for a bit? You’re busy, and you’re at the peak of your career.” A pause. “It’s not that I’m going away,” you add quickly, “I’m your soulmate, after all.” The last part is barely a whisper.
Beomgyu shoots up from where he’s sitting, running a hand through his hair, fingers pulling at the strands. He feels cold all over. His pulse pounds in his ears.
“Where is this coming from?” His voice is raw, edged dangerously close to panic. “What happened, Y/N?”
“Nothing, really,” you say too quickly. “It just… crossed my mind.” There’s a pause. A beat of silence that feels like a lifetime. “It’s late there. It’s 2 AM. Please sleep.”
His chest tightens. “Are you breaking up with me?” The words feel foreign in his mouth. His voice drops to a whisper. “Do you not want me? Do you not want this?”
“Beomgyu, please.” You voice wavers. “Our fate is certain. But right now… I just feel like it’s not working.” You exhale slowly. “You should sleep, okay? Let’s talk again… soon.”
And then the line goes dead.
Beomgyu stares at his screen, his fingers frozen, his mind racing to process what just happened. His chest caves in, breath shaky as he stumbles back onto the bed. And then—he breaks.
His hands cover his face, shoulders trembling as it all crashes down on him. He had a feeling when you didn't answer his call. A whisper of doubt, an inkling of fear.
And now, it’s real.
4 AM, and Beomgyu still hasn’t slept. His eyes burn from exhaustion, but his mind won’t shut off. He’s been texting you, calling you—over and over—but every attempt goes straight to voicemail. At some point, your phone must have died, or worse, you turned it off.
He lies on the stiff hotel bed, staring at the ceiling. It’s unfamiliar. Cold. But then again, when was the last time anything in his life felt familiar? Felt like home?
His phone dings.
He scrambles for it, heartbeat hammering, but before he can check the notification, an unknown number flashes across the screen. It’s stupid to answer an unknown call at this hour. Their managers had given them talks about it. But something—something in his gut—tells him to pick up.
“Hello?” His voice is hoarse.
“Beomgyu.” A pause. Then— “It’s Da-hee,”
His breath catches.
“She’s going to be angry if she finds out I called you,” Da-hee says, voice hushed, urgent. “But I can’t just sit back and watch this happen. Just listen to me. I’m going to tell you everything—from the start.”
"Please."
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"Don’t think I won’t do it," she murmurs. "Just think about how I knew. Your name. Your workplace. Your parking spot."
She smiles, "Don’t test me."
You take another sip of whiskey, curled up on the couch, knees drawn to your chest. The tears won’t stop. No matter how many times you wipe them away, they keep coming, slipping down your cheeks, burning just as much as the liquor sliding down your throat.
Your thoughts won’t stop either.
Beomgyu.
He has everything—his dream, his career, a future so bright it could swallow you whole. He has the world at his feet. And you? You’re just… you. Not worth the risk. Not worth the detour. Maybe this was always how it was supposed to be. Maybe that’s why your paths were never meant to cross in the first place. You saw the consequence, felt it when you passed the Hybe building, that heavy reminder of the impossible divide between your worlds.
It should be enough. Enough that you got to know him, enough that he even knows your name. Enough that you get to see him on a screen. It should be enough.
But is it?
“Fuck,” you choke out, voice breaking. You press the heel of your palm against your eyes, as if that could stop the ache. “Just when I finally saw you… What a joke.” You shake your head, wiping your face with the sleeve of your sweater. “The universe is a fucking idiot for ever thinking we were meant to be.”
You take another drink, and it burns.
“Y/N.”
You blink up, vision swimming, to see Da-hee standing in the doorway, concern etched across her face.
“I’ve been ringing your doorbell,” she says, stepping closer. “I used the spare key—why are you crying?”
You don’t respond. You just stare at her, eyes glassy, cheeks wet. She moves toward you, eyes flickering to the near-empty glass in your hand. You’ve been drinking for hours. You already called in sick to work—there’s no way you could function like this.
"Oh, honey," She sighs, reaches for the glass, and you don’t fight it. You let it go. "What happened?"
“Fate is already taking back what it let me borrow.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but Da-hee hears it. She your holds your hand.
“What are you talking about?” she asks. “Explain.”
You swallow hard. Your throat feels tight, like every word is fighting to stay buried. But you force them out.
“A sasaeng,” you murmur, watching as Da-hee’s eyes widen in alarm. “She found out about me. She knows everything, Da-hee. Where I live, where I work, my family—everything.” You suck in a shaky breath, blinking back fresh tears. “And the worst of it, she fucking said she’s going to ruin Beomgyu.”
The moment the words leave your lips, your resolve shatters. You cry—like a child finally breaking after being scolded in front of everyone, holding it all in until no one’s around to see. Da-hee pulled you into her arms as you sobbed. You cling to her, hands fisting her sweater. “I have to let him go,” you choke out. “I can’t do this to him. To them. They don’t deserve this.”
Da-hee pulls back, her hands firm on your shoulders. “No,” she says, shaking her head. “You don’t have to do this alone. We can go to the police. We can tell Beomgyu—”
“And then what?” you cut in, voice hollow. “What can they really do? Stop her from telling the world? Keep every single person quiet? Even if she gets caught, the damage will already be done.”
Da-hee doesn’t answer. She just sinks onto the couch beside you, eyes shining with unshed tears, because she knows you well. She knows you too well—knows that the emotional version of you wouldn’t be able to hear her, not right now. Not until the sobs quiet down and the pain in your chest eases just a little. So, she just holds you.
Your phone screen lights up between you. Another call.
Beomgyu. He’s still calling. Still trying.
"I don’t think it’s best to answer it right now—"
But you don’t listen to Da-hee’s warning. Your fingers tremble as they hover over the screen. You have to end this. Now. While you still have the strength. Because deep down, you know—
If you wake up tomorrow, you might not be able to let him go.
“H-Hello?” He stutters on the other line, his voice unsteady. Your breath catches in your throat. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Everything. Everything is wrong.
“Beomgyu.”
I miss you. How can I go on without you?
“Are you okay? I’ve been—”
“Beomgyu.” You cut him off again, your voice softer this time. “Yeah, I’m… okay.” You take a shaky breath. “I’ve just been thinking for the past couple of hours, and…” You hesitate.
I’m not okay. I’ve been thinking about you, only you, and how my existence could ruin everything you’ve worked for.
"What?" His inhale is sharp, laced with the beginnings of panic.
“Maybe we should lie low for a bit? You’re busy, and you’re at the peak of your career.” You pause, fingers trembling. “It’s not that I’m going away,” you add quickly, desperate to believe your own words. “I’m your soulmate, after all.” The last part is barely a whisper.
I should be replaceable. And I shouldn’t be your priority. You press a hand to your mouth, as if you can keep the words from spilling out—keep the truth from bleeding through.
“Where is this coming from? What happened, Y/N?”
My heart is breaking. And you’re too far away to hold it together.
“Nothing, really,” you say too quickly. “It just… crossed my mind.” You pause, swallowing. “It’s late there. It’s 2 AM. Please sleep.”
Please sleep. And forget about me.
“Are you breaking up with me? Do you not want me? Do you not want this?”
I want you more than anything. That’s why I have to do this. If I can save you from losing everything, I’ll do it. Even if it means losing you.
“Beomgyu, please.” You voice wavers. “Our fate is certain. But right now… I just feel like it’s not working.” You exhale slowly. “You should sleep, okay? Let’s talk again… soon.”
You press the end button.
The sobs rip through you, shaking your whole body and stealing the air from your lungs. You curl in on yourself, pressing your fist to your mouth, as if that could stop the sound, as if that could stop the pain. How can love be this cruel? How can the same thing that made you feel so alive now leave you feeling so hollow?
But this is for him. You tell yourself that over and over, like a mantra, like a prayer, like a desperate attempt to make it hurt less.
You’ll do this for him. Even if it destroys you.
Da-hee wipes at her eyes, sniffling as she looks at you—curled up in the fetal position, your body tense like you’re bracing for impact even in sleep. She managed to get you into bed, but it doesn’t feel like enough.
She’d do anything for you.
Carefully, she tiptoes to the bedside table and picks up your phone. Her heart pounds. If anyone’s watching me, I’ll beg for forgiveness later. But right now, she comes first.
She types in your usual password. 8888. Incorrect. She frowns, thinking. You changed it? Then, almost without realizing it, her fingers move on their own. 0313. The screen unlocks.
Beomgyu’s birthday.
Da-hee lets out a small, disbelieving laugh. “You idiot,” she whispers, shaking her head. “You love him so much, and yet you’re willing to walk away. How can you be this selfless?”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she scrolls through your contacts, searching for his name. Her thumb hovers over it for only a second before she types his number on her own phone.
You’ll be furious. You might never forgive her. But if there’s even the slightest chance this stops you from making the biggest mistake of your life—she’ll take that risk.
Someone has to tell him the things that you can’t.
The line connects, and Da-hee inhales. “She’s going to be angry if she finds out I called you, but I can’t just sit back and watch this happen. Just listen to me. I’m going to tell you everything—from the start.”
She’ll prepare her apology later—more than that, she hopes Beomgyu will fight for you.
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"I want to go home." Beomgyu’s voice is firm, but his hands are clenched into fists at his sides. His manager looks up from his laptop, brows furrowing.
The door bursts open. Soobin stumbles in, slightly out of breath—he must’ve run after him. Beomgyu doesn’t care.
Beomgyu already knows everything—Da-hee told him. Every sickening detail. And now, standing here, he has no idea how to fix this. No idol has ever come out of this unscathed. But none of that matters right now. His only priority is getting to you.
His manager sighs, already exasperated. “You’re flying back home in a few days, Beomgyu.”
“No,” he says, jaw tightening. “I mean now. I need a few days. To rest. To handle something personal.”
“You know your schedule is packed—”
“Then move everything,” Beomgyu interrupts sharply. He feels Soobin’s hand on his shoulder, hears his name spoken softly, but he shrugs it off. No one is stopping him from getting to you.
His manager sighs again, firmer this time. “We can’t do that.”
“You won’t even try?” His voice wavers between frustration and desperation. “You won’t even let the management know?”
“We can’t make last-minute changes like this.”
Beomgyu lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Right. Of course.” He clenches his fists. All his life, he’s done everything they asked. Pushed through exhaustion, smiled through sickness, showed up even when his body begged him to stop. “I won’t follow you on this,” he says, voice steady. “I can’t do this. Not this time. If you won’t let me go, I’ll still leave.”
“Beomgyu, let’s talk about this when you’re calm,” Soobin says gently, patting Beomgyu’s back. “Please.”
Beomgyu turns to him, his eyes dark with frustration. “I love MOAs, hyung. I love all of you. They gave me everything.” His voice wavers, but he pushes through. “But Y/N… she is my everything.” His breath hitches. He can't even explain it properly. How badly he needs you. “You’re lucky. All of you. Your soulmates—"
“So this is about your soulmate?” The manager exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. “Don’t you see? She’s making you choose between her and your career.”
“No.” Beomgyu’s voice breaks, his chest tightens, and the lump in his throat is unbearable. “She’s not making me choose. She’s already choosing for me.” His next breath is shaky. “She’s leaving. Can you let your own soulmate leave?”
The room falls silent. Soobin watches him, stunned. He’d never seen Beomgyu like this before—this angry, this desperate. And the question stings the older.
Beomgyu turns away, blinking rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. Explaining further is useless. He’s already said everything that matters. Nothing is going to stop him now. When he steps into the hallway, he sees Yeonjun standing there, leaning against the wall.
He’s been listening the whole time.
Yeonjun immediately reaches out, tugging at his arm. “Yah, Choi Beomgyu, come on,” he says quietly. “Let’s talk with everyone.” Beomgyu exhales shakily. If there's anyone he owes an explanation. It's them. His brothers.
So Beomgyu told them everything.
About the sasaeng. About the threats. About how you were walking away to protect him. About how he refused to let that happen. And just like he knew they would, the four of them listened—not as bandmates, not as colleagues, but as brothers.
No one understood him better than they did.
They didn’t tell him to reconsider. They didn’t tell him to stay. Instead, they held onto him, arms wrapped tight, as if they could shield him from the storm that was already brewing. They prayed—not for him to change his mind, but for the world to understand.
Kai was the first to break. His voice barely above a whisper, “Is it really worth it… if the world doesn’t want us to have soulmates?”
It shattered something in all of them.
Beomgyu didn’t answer—not with words. Because what kind of world was it, where love had to be hidden? Where choosing your own heart felt like a betrayal?
With the help of his members, he managed to slip through the cracks, securing a last-minute flight. Now, as he sat on the plane, adjusting his mask, pulling his cap low, he caught his own reflection in the window.
Maybe it was time. Time to stop pretending. Time to stop hiding.
Because an idol in love isn’t supposed to be shameful. Because having a soulmate shouldn’t be treated like a scandal. Because loving you would never make him love his dream any less.
He just had to believe in MOAs. In the people who gave him everything. What he has with them, he treasures so much that the thought of baring his heart isn’t impossible.
And he would.
Completely.
He would trade it all, just to see you again.
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The pounding in your head hasn’t let up, a dull, relentless throb that even the hot shower couldn’t wash away. You pop an aspirin, sighing as you press your fingertips against your temples, willing the ache—and everything else—to disappear.
Then the doorbell rings. Right. The food.
Dragging your feet toward the door, you barely think as you swing it open—then freeze.
Choi Beomgyu.
His face bare, a backpack slung over his shoulder. A car idles in your driveway, but you barely process it. Your eyes lock onto the messy strands of blonde peeking out from under his hoodie, his gaze searching yours. He looks at you like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he blinks.
“Y/N—” The door slams shut in his face before he can say another word.
Your breath stumbles. Your pulse pounds. The damp strands of your hair cling to your neck as you press your back against the door, fingers gripping the handle like it’s the only thing keeping you upright. Shit. He fucking looks good with his new dyed hair— wait. Don't think about that. What is he doing here?
“I’m parked out front,” his voice comes through the door, muffled but you hear it. “I just want to talk.” A shaky inhale. Then softer, “Baby, I’m here. When you’re ready, just open the door.”
His footsteps retreat.
You start pacing, your heart ricocheting against your ribs. He’s here. He came all this way. After everything you stupidly said. You hurt him yet—
The doorbell rings again.
You yank it open, “Wait, my ass—”
“Chinese takeout for Y/N?” The delivery guy blinks at you, holding up the bag.
“Oh.” You blush, embarrassed. You fumble for your wallet, signing the receipt with shaky hands. Your eyes keep drifting past him, toward the car still parked in front of your house.
Just like what he said. He's there.
The hours slip away unnoticed, morning fading seamlessly into afternoon. Every time you steal a glance through the curtain, he’s still there. Evening creeps in as you start making dinner. Without thinking, you plate portions for two. Your hands hesitate over the dishes, your heart heavy. When you check the clock, it’s 8 p.m. He’s been outside for twelve hours—silent, waiting.
Just like he promised. He never knocked again. Twelve hours. Your hands tremble as you turn off the stove. He must’ve just come from another gruelling day, looking like he’d stepped off a plane after hours in the air—rumpled, drained, and still without rest.
Why did you let him wait this long?
You don’t stop to think anymore. You grab your keys, shove your feet into your slippers, and head straight for his car, blinking back the tears that blur your vision.
He must see you coming because, before you even reach him, the car door swings open.
And there he is.
His hoodie is pushed back now, his hair slightly dishevelled like he’s run his hands through it a hundred times. His face is drawn, exhausted. His eyes—red-rimmed, heavy, like he’s been crying for hours. You swallow the lump in your throat.
“Come inside,” Your voice cracks, but you don’t stop. You just turn around and head back toward the door. You don’t have to look back to know he’s following.
He steps inside, his tall frame filling the space as you quietly shut the door behind him. Your apartment looks small with him around. When you turn, your eyes meet, "Beomgyu—"
You barely get his name out before he’s on you. He can't stop himself anymore. It’s how you looked outside, so effortless—your hair pinned up, the simplicity of your everyday clothes, and yet, you somehow seemed untouchable. He envisions a life with you, a routine, your soft smile waiting for him when he comes home, you looking like something angelic—his hands grip your waist, pulling you flush against him, his body heat searing through your clothes. His lips crash into yours—hungry, desperate, like he’s been starved for you. His mouth moves against yours, claiming, taking.
His fingers thread through your hair, tilting your head back as his tongue slides against yours. His hands roam down, gripping, pulling, making sure you feel every bit of him. He grabs your wrists, lifting them, wrapping your arms around his neck as his lips move to your jaw, then to your neck, his breath ragged as he nips your sensitive skin. "I missed you," he murmurs. Another kiss—hotter, deeper, his body pressing your back against the wall. "I got fucking scared you'd never open the door."
His movements were hurried, frantic, as if he were afraid you’d disappear if he let go. In one swift motion, he lifted you, his steps unsteady as he carried you to the bedroom. Your bedroom. The air felt heavy as he laid you down on the mattress.
"I get it. I know you don’t mean it—that you really believe this is for the best." His voice softens, almost breaking. He presses his crotch to yours, eyes seeking yours. "But did it ever cross your mind what I want? What I think is best for me? For us?"
“I'm sorry,” you said weakly, your hands clutching at his shirt, your voice trembling as much as your resolve.
"I'll always forgive you." His hands moved to your shoulders, then slid down to your waist, pulling you to him. He grinds desperately to you. You never knew that lips could talk without uttering a word as he captures your lips again and again. "Because your words could never hurt me as much as your leaving does."
You surrendered to his touch, your body softening beneath him. Your hands gripped his shoulders for balance as he pressed you deeper into the mattress, which groaned under your shifting weight. You reached for Beomgyu’s lips, catching him off guard as you kissed him with everything you had, tongues colliding in a heated frenzy. His hand slid between your thighs, cupping your middle and sending a shiver through you. But even in the haze of his taste, a heavy guilt settled in your chest. "Gyu,"
"I need you, baby. Or I'll go crazy." His breaths were ragged, syncing with your every moan as his tongue tangled with yours. Your fingers tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling him closer, urging him on. His body pressed against yours, grinding to yours, while his hands roamed over your skin, igniting every nerve he touched. His lips trailed downward, leaving soft kisses that melted into your flesh, a path leading straight to your core.
He stripped you of every barrier, leaving you bare under his gaze. His eyes shimmered with adoration and awe as they traced your body. You hadn’t realized how powerless you were against him until your legs parted, welcoming him. He's on top of you, looked at you like you were sacred, like you were his entire world.
Beomgyu's eyes never left yours as his fingers found your hand, seeking the place where the string was tied. The red thread appears, and he lifts it to his lips. A kiss—featherlight, reverent—pressed against the place where destiny tied you to him.
“It's going to be okay…” he whispered between kisses, his voice breaking in a way that made your heart ache. Tears pricked your eyes because you wanted to believe him. You needed to believe him. His hands explored further, his fingers shakily reaching for your clit, pinching softly then roughly rubbing, coaxing sounds from your lips that you didn’t know you were capable of.
"I'll fix it for us, for you." He looks at you—wanting to see every expression you make. He’s going to fuck you until you cum all over his dick and then he’ll do it again. Until you won't be able to think about leaving him anymore. He goes down further—kisses down and the smell of you is divine.
His face hovers and with his fingers he spreads you apart. He swallows—salivating. He sticks his tongue out, lightly licking your clit. You taste so—He buries his face in, tongue inside, hands on your hips. "Shit, you were really gonna leave me? And I was gonna miss this?" He groans, lapping up, sucking the arousal out of you. He moves up, nose bumping on your clit then he suckles more. His cock throbs with every taste of you, the way you melt against his mouth driving him insane. He feels you slick against his chin, but he doesn’t stop—doesn’t leave a single inch of you untouched by his warm, greedy mouth. It was as if your body had been crafted for his lips alone, flesh and heat meant to be devoured at his leisure.
When you tug hard on his hair, he groans against you, finally pulling back. His lips glisten as he moves up your body. He crashes his mouth onto yours, the kiss deep and hungry, and you taste yourself on his tongue—messy, desperate, a mix of him and you, blurring the lines between who’s devouring who.
“I love you,” he murmured as he positioned himself, slowly sliding into you. A low, guttural sound escaped him as he felt you, tight and warm, pulling him deeper. He's sure he'll come right there and then. His face buried itself in the curve of your neck, and his words spilled out—"I'm sorry it took this long."
"You feel so so good, don't ask me to stop, please." His touch was gentle even as his thrusts inside you grew more desperate. He cradled your head, kissed away your tears, and pressed his lips to your cheek. “I’m in love with you, Y/N,"
“I love you,” you replied, capturing his lips in a desperate kiss as you both unravelled together, bodies trembling in unison. Your thighs clenched tightly around his waist.
"Beomgyu, I— It was selfish of me—" You whispered his name and it made tears well up in his eyes. His hand gently pushed the damp strands of hair from your face, and he pressed tender kisses along your cheeks, your temple, and your jaw.
“Shh, no,” he whispered, pulling you against his chest, holding you like he was afraid you’d slip away. His lips brushed the crown of your head. "None of this is your fault," he murmurs. "But you have to trust me now."
All the horrors inside you dissolve with every kiss he presses to your skin, each one stripping away the fear, the doubt, the self-imposed distance. He kisses you like he’s rewriting everything, like he knows exactly where every shattered piece of you belongs. As if he’s memorized the map of your ruin and decided, you were always meant to be whole.
And you let him.
Because now, in his arms, with his lips claiming yours over and over, only pulls away when breathing becomes a necessity—his forehead pressing against yours for a fleeting second before his mouth finds yours again, as if letting go for too long might break him, you realise the truth—it was foolish of you to think that pushing him away would solve it all.
It was foolish to ever believe you could ever live without him.
Waking up with Beomgyu’s arm draped over your bare waist felt like something out of a dream.
The second you tried to slip away, he pulled you right back in, burying his face in the crook of your neck with a sleepy rough hum. His grip was loose but unwilling, like even in sleep, he couldn’t bear to let you go. He filled your morning with lazy kisses, tangled limbs, and muffled laughter, his fingers tracing over your bare skin.
You could live a lifetime like this and still never believe it was real.
Now, you sit at your vanity, dressed for work, fastening an earring as Beomgyu, fresh from the shower, tugs on a clean hoodie. He catches your eye in the mirror and grins as he walks over. “What are you doing baby? Dolled up and all.”
“Drying my hair,” you say, “I’m actually early today. Da-hee is dropping by later too, by the way.”
“Okay. I’ll drive you.” He leans down, eyes flickering to the hairdryer on the desk. He picks it up, flipping it on. “I know how to do this.”
You give him a skeptical look. “Oh, really?”
“Uh-huh. I could probably do your makeup too.” He presses a teasing kiss to your cheek, making you giggle.
The warmth of the dryer was against your scalp as he carefully runs his fingers through your hair, drying it with surprising patience. His touch lingers even after the dryer clicks off, his fingers gently gathering strands of your hair.
“I used to braid my mom’s hair when I was younger,” he murmurs. “I want to do yours too.” You nod, watching him through the mirror, watching the way he looks at you with so much quiet devotion it nearly steals your breath. "It will be an honour to do this every day for you, you know."
And just like that, you fall in love all over again.
You sit in the passenger seat, your hair loosely braided—the proof that he wasn’t just bluffing. His fingers lace with yours as he drives, his thumb idly tracing circles against your skin. Every time the car slows at a red light, he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. “I love you,”
He grins, that same cheeky, heart-stopping smile. "Love you more," he replies.
You let out a quiet breath, leaning your head against the window, watching the world blur past. But then—out of the corner of your eye—you see it.
And your breath catches in your throat.
Rain Lilies.
Flowers that shine the brightest in the wake of the storm.
It looks out of place. You remembered last night’s rain. It had come down in furious sheets, drowning the streets, washing everything away. The pavement is still slick, puddles reflecting the grey morning sky. And yet—there it is.
Small. Alive.
In the middle of a city that never stops, where people rush past without a second glance, too busy to care about a thing so insignificant, so easily overlooked—it stands, untouched. A quiet defiance against the cruelty that tried to take it.
It looks out of place, and it's beautiful.
If something this fragile can survive and still bloom—maybe, just maybe, so can you.
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"Hyung!" Beomgyu’s laughter rings through the air as he runs straight into his brother’s arms. They embrace, laughing like they’re kids again, the older one attempting to lift him off the ground. Behind them, his parents rush to catch up, smiles stretched wide across their faces. The house, with its endless stretch of green, looks like out of a memory—soft, a paradise.
Beomgyu turns to you then, his hand resting gently on your back. His eyes soft when he speaks.
"Mom, Dad," he says, "This is Y/N."
You bow politely, but before you can even rise fully, his mother pulls you into a hug. "I’ve wanted to meet you for so long, dear," she murmurs against your shoulder.
When Beomgyu’s father steps forward, you feel your chest tighten. He smiles, and for a second, it’s like looking at Beomgyu in the years to come. His hug is just as warm, just as safe.
Lunch is a blur of laughter and stories, of hands brushing, of Beomgyu sneaking glances at you when he thinks you aren’t looking.
His parents laugh along with your stories—the one about meeting his sweet members, and how Da-hee had begged to meet them in person. You describe her pale face, wide-eyed and on the verge of fainting the entire time, and how Beomgyu grew irritated every time Yeonjun jokingly flirted with you, insisting he should be your favorite.
But it’s the story of Beomgyu meeting your family last week that really gets them, how he’d been so polite, yet adorably nervous, his hands fidgeting in his lap as he tried to make the right impression.
His mom grins, her eyes bright with excitement. “I’ll have to meet them soon,” she says, already making plans in her head, as if you’ve always been part of the family. At some point, Beomgyu tells them you’ll be staying for the week. They are overjoyed, and Toto, takes an instant liking to you.
Beomgyu sits on the porch, it's evening now.
This deck—he’s spent years here—on this very step, staring out at the world, wondering when he’d find you. Wondering if he ever would.
His fingers tighten around the handwritten letter on his phone screen, the words waiting to be sent out into the world. His heart pounds. What if they don’t understand? What if this changes everything? What if—
Laughter drifts from inside the house, yours mixing with his mom’s, his brother’s. It was the only assurance he'd ever need.
He exhales sharply, thumb hovering for only a second longer before he clicks post. It loads. He doesn’t watch. Just locks his phone and sets it aside as the front door creaks open.
"You’re trying to escape me, cookie?" Your voice is playful, arms crossing as you step toward him. Beomgyu only grins, shaking his head at the nickname his father gave him. He slips an arm around your shoulders as soon as you sit down, pulling you while he presses kisses on the side of your head.
"Never," His fingers find yours, a new habit of his—thumb caressing over your ring finger. His thoughts slip to the diamond ring hidden in his dorm, the one he bought after a week of meeting you. He just needs to find the right moment, the right words. Because even now, after everything, you still make him nervous. The way his heart races when you walk into a room, how everything seems to stop for a moment when you look his way.
He meets your smile with one of his own. Would he ever be this lucky in another life? To find you, to love you—not by destiny’s design, not by some divine script, but by choice?
Even without a soulmate mark, even without fate—
It would always be you.
Maybe in another world, the sky is burning, the world is ending, an apocalypse, and he still falls in love with you. Maybe in another life, he is a man undone, a husband who shatters more than he mends, but even then, he would spend eternity piecing himself back together just to be worthy of you.
Beomgyu knows this much: no matter the lifetime, no matter the universe, he will love you. Again and again, without hesitation, without end. As if loving you is written into the very fabric of his existence.
His fingers graze your cheek, and you lean into him like you were always meant to—like the universe has been bringing you back to him for centuries. Your smile reaches your eyes, soft and certain. His missing piece. The better half of him.
Beomgyu looks at you, and to him, you are something that comes after the rain—the hush of the earth reborn, the golden light breaking through the clouds, the promise that even the chaos was worth it.
He can’t help himself. Not when you’re looking at him like that. Not when your smile is the only thing he ever wants to see.
So he leans in.
The phone sits forgotten, lighting up with messages—teary words, heartfelt congratulations, the world calling for him. But none of it matters.
Because right now, you are in his arms. Right now, he is kissing the soft of your addicting lips. And right now, that is all that ever was, all that ever is, all that ever will be.
THE END.
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taglist: I love you @beombunni @lovingbeomgyudayone @virtaideen @hyukascampfire @fancypeacepersona @bamgeutori @lilbrorufr @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @xylatox @imlonelydontsendhelp @yunverie @baekberrie @soobabby @hyunelixbun @kejingken @blossommi @sumzysworld @tyunningstar @filmnings @channieismylove @frankghgr @missychief1404 @fatbixchwithanopinion @saejinniestar @brrytears @sbnslver @hoefororeo @pagelets @urlocal-moa @ewsnup @moagyuu @melmochii
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ok can we talk about how gay people will complain that bi people always get with the opposite sex and then bi people will go well its because its easier to find straight relationships and there are so many barriers to being in a gay relationship. which is true but the way a lot of them say it…. theyll say it like its new information to lesbians that gay relationships are oppressed and also subtly imply that anyone who’s been in a gay relationship was privileged or somehow lucky. like they’ll think about what it would take for them to date gay—having a supportive family, being able to neutrally exist in public, being ok with being single for years if they’re at all picky, etc—and because they wouldn’t do it, they… act as if gay people faced few barriers and wouldn’t get it? please tell me more about how hard and complicated it is to be attracted to women i had no idea! same energy as when i show a man a video of me working out and he goes ‘that’s actually super impressive! you need a lot of core strength for that!’ thank you, i’m actually aware! because i work out for hours every week! specifically focusing on core strength!
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V-Day. (141 x Reader.)
!nsfw, smut, p in v sex, oral sex (m!receiving), protected sex, gang bang, NO MINORS!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LOVES! (and Birthday if you’re a v-day baby🥺) If I could get every single one of you a valentine I would 🫶🥰
The task force sees how upset you are on holidays.
You’ve got no family and no other friends outside of the task force so around the holidays you tend to get a little reclusive. Sometimes they’ll try to do nice things for you but most of the time they don’t have the opportunity to. When you’re out on a base in the middle of a warzone, ordering things in and going to stores isn’t exactly ideal.
They notice of all of the holidays, Christmas and Valentines Day seem to be the hardest ones of all for you.
They’ve managed to help raise your spirits on Christmas by brining in a fake little tree and making ornaments out of plain lined paper and dental floss. They even found a couple markers or pens around base so you could color them. At least it gave you something to do as a task force but you were out of luck on Valentine’s Day.
None of the men were married or in a relationship and truth be told, Valentine’s Day wasn’t as important to them. But it was to you and they knew it.
The only thing Captain Price could do, was get everyone off duty for the day.
The four of them had crossed paths a couple of times. Working out, doing paperwork, cleaning up their own spaces. That was it. But they noticed none of them seen you.
“Poor things probably just sitting in her room like usual.” They mumble.
After another hour or so, you reappear out of nowhere while they’re sitting in the mess hall, making small talk.
“Ah, finally out to join us?”
“Yeah, I made you something.” You smile.
“What?”
“Yeah, I saved it for this year since we had nothing last year..” you mumble.
You’d made little handmade cards each specialized for them and attached a candy to it.
“Well now I feel bad because we didn’t get you anything dove..” Captain Price mumbles. “That’s not what this is about. Holidays are about giving. Anyways, I have to go finish cleaning up my room before I forget. Happy Valentines Day!” You smile, turning around and making your way back to your room.
Captain Price sighs.
None of them have any idea what to do. They have nothing on base that they can give you.
“You know.. I have an idea.” Johnny mumbles.
“Might be a bit crazy but.. it just might make her feel better.” He smiles nervously.
They make a plan, each of them needed to go find something and bring it back to the table to present with for the plan.
Gaz hurried outside, he would feel bad for messing up the rose bush outside because he knows how much you adore it (since it IS the only one around) but you’d just have to forgive him later. They’re a magenta color, which he thinks you’ll like. He makes sure to go for the roses that aren’t as full, on the back and on the bottom of the bush. He uses his pocket knife to cut the heads off, keeping them in tact. It still looks pretty when he’s done.
Johnny goes around base searching for those unscented tea lights laying around for when the power is out. He manages to find an entire bag of them in a back office. Scoring when he finds a random striker too.
Captain Price heads for his own office where he knows he’s got paper, using a few pieces to thicken it up and a stapler to make a makeshift card. He’s even got one single piece of red paper, cutting tiny hearts out of it and taping them onto the white card. His time as a Captain and all of the paperwork he’s had to do has really helped his cursive. Making sure to give the others the opportunity to add something they’d like before signing it from all of them.
Ghost tore his entire room apart looking for a photo to put into the card. He knew he had it lying around and it took him a good white to find it buried inside of a drawer, but he does find it. It’s a photo of the entire task force. The five of you standing all together just before a mission, in full gear. It’s something he’s cherished but he has a copy at home.
“Y/N, page back.” Captain Price calls.
“Copy sir.”
“Keep getting an alert from the southeast gate, you mind checking it out with me?”
“Not at all sir.”
“Great, I’ll meet you out there.” He calls back. When you meet him at the door, their plan goes into effect. The other 3 men hustle to get everything in to place as quickly as possible. You’d just finished cleaning your room so it was perfect timing really. You don’t get fully dressed to go which he understands, but he finds it cute what you’re wearing anyways.
“Captain, page back.” Gaz mumbles. He’s out of breath. “Copy.”
“Where at?”
“Heading in now.”
You don’t find it strange, they call back all of the time.
When you turn the corner, you freeze. You see the candlelight first. “What is that?” You ask. You’re curious, approaching it. Captain nearly laughs, noticing your hand on your sidearm at first. The military taught strange reactions. You relax when you see the rose petals. The other 3 stand just outside your door. “What is all of this?”
“It’s a thank you, for being such a huge part of this task force. There’s more inside, go on.” Captain Price smiles. “It’s more than you deserve, but it’s all we got for now.”
You move closer, opening up your door. That’s when you see the little card sitting on your bed. You smile.
You pick it up, opening it up and reading the note that each of them had left you. You look at the small picture last, seeing it’s them.
“This is really sweet, you didn’t have to do all of this.” You smile, turning back at them.
“We’ve got another thing, something important. Sit down.” Soap mumbles, pushing you back slightly onto your bed. “Close your eyes.”
You look up at him skeptically but do it anyways. Your hands sit in your lap. He touches your chin with his fingertips, tilting your head up slightly. He gives it another second before pressing his lips to yours.
You jump back, stunned. “Woah- what are-“ he smiles, hushing you.
“Nothing to be afraid of lass.” He pushes your hair out of your face. “Valentine’s Day is where you show those you love how much you care about them. That's what we're going to do. Just relax.”
You swallow hard, looking around at each of them around the room, all eyes are you. "No need to be nervous, just close your eyes."
You do it, trying your best to stay relaxed as he kisses you again. He grasps the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. You raise your arms up to make it easier for him. Once your shirt is off, everyone in the room starts to get undressed. You can't see it, but you can hear the fabric and bodies movies, belts unbuckling and hitting the floor.
What the hell had you gotten yourself into?
You open your eyes, seeing that they're all shirtless, nothing but hairy, fit bodies around you. Your heart starts to race in your chest. This was a lot. What exactly did they plan to do?
Captain Price chuckles, now having taken Johnny's place in front of you. He forces your chin up to look at him. "If you're nervous and don't want to do this, you don't have to." He smiles. "You always have a choice, remember that."
You nod your head, taking in a deep breath. "I'm okay. Just nervous." You look up at him, he helps you to stand up, sliding your pants down your legs for you. Helping you step out of them by taking your hand to steady you.
What a gentleman.
"Go ahead and get on the bed darling."
The candles are illuminating the room, the light is still on but it's already dim. You move up the bed, still making an attempt to cover yourself.
Captain Price moves himself between your legs, he'd taken his boxers off, same as everyone else. You see him tear something open with his teeth, surprised when you realize it's a condom. You wonder where on earth he'd gotten it.
Now the four massive men stood completely naked in front of you and this wasn't a joke. This was really going to happen.
He takes your gaze away from everyone else by drawing his fingertips up your exposed opening, gathering wetness on his fingers and gliding up over your clit, the gasp gathers everyone's attention. They were nervous too, just far better at hiding it.
They're all looking at you, seeing how your eyebrows move into each other, mouth parting in pleasure as he touches you. He rubs gentle circles over you, the more aroused you are the more wet you'll be. You're going to need it to be able to take all four of them. He pushes a finger into you, hearing you gasp at the intrusion, moving a hand to grip his wrist as he starts to finger you. His fingers are long. He moves them through you, curling them slightly with eat thrust, searching for that spot inside of you. The others watch as he searches for it.
When he finds it, you tilt your head back with a moan, resting your head on the pillow. The mewl that leaves your lips is promising, each of them now know exactly what to do to please you.
He draws his fingers back, smiling when he realizes how fast your heart is beating. Hopefully he didn't get you too close. You still had a long ways to go.
He adjust you, tilting you just slightly to the side, raising your hip up just slightly. That special place inside of you was about to be battered by the four men. Because not only are they attempted, but obsessed with pleasing you.
He grips his cock, the first you'll feel tonight. He glides the tip over your opening to gather your arousal on him before he sinks inside of you. You gasp when he fills you. Cock pressing right up against that spot, he could feel your heart beating from your touch alone. That knot was already beginning to form in your belly.
You feel hands on you and it draws you back down to earth. Ghost is at your side, running his fingertips over the skin on your right arm to soothe you. Johnny moves to the other side, doing the same to your left.
You realize that Gaz is at the head of your bed, nearly standing over you.
He lowers himself, helping to brush your hair out of your face. "You're doing so good for us." He breathes. You clench your eyes closed, felling your Captain bury himself into you once more. The two to your left and right gasp at the same time, feeling your hands reaching for them. The feel of your touch on their cocks is enough to draw a moan from each of them.
Kyle takes a deep breath when you reopen your eyes, looking up at him. He stands up, almost knowing what it is that you want.
You take his cock into your mouth, tonguing the tip at first. You tease him for a minute before taking him further down. He can see your throat bulge because of his intrusion and suddenly his orgasm isn't too far off.
John keeps a steady pace, he knows you'll take a lot more than just him tonight and he doesn't want to be too rough with you. You feel good wrapped around him, tight. The eagerness he had felt before already had him on edge. He knew he wouldn't last long. Which was in your favor considering. He just wanted to draw at least one orgasm out of you.
He rocks his hips into you, perfect pace. Right into that spot.
He draws circles into your clit until you're right at the edge of pure bliss, toppling over the edge. You draw away from Kyle when you cum, crying out. You attempt to close your legs but he keeps them open, keeping his slow pace and riding your high out. Groaning out when he reaches his own. He closes his eyes, riding it out with another couple thrusts.
When he reopens them he pulls out of you, seeing your orgasm at the base of his cock. He can only wonder how good you'd feel raw.
He draws himself away, moving to your chair in the corner of the room, lighting a cigar as Simon takes his place. You swallow hard, looking down at him. He rolls a condom over the tip of his cock, same as your Captain had. "You alright to keep going?" He looks up at you. You nod.
You don't want to let your Lieutenant down. He does the same to you. Slight tilting your hips, moving you in another way. You can only imagine it's to reach that spot inside.
They were so attentive.
He thrusts into you, you tilt your head back with a sigh. He's slightly more rough than Captain Price but you can easily tell they're being gentle. You can only imagine how rough they could be if they really wanted.
You take Kyle back into your mouth, moving your hand up the shaft of Johnny's cock. Keeping them both stimulated. It's hard to focus with Simon thrusting into you, but you do it.
He pushes your legs up slightly, reaching even deeper. You moan around Kyle, hearing him groan at the vibrations from you. He knew once he felt your walls around him that he wasn't going to last long.
Your right hand is free now, you use it to draw circles into your own clit which surprises them. Considering that you had just cum. You're gentle with it.
Simon keeps a steady pace just as his Captain had. Working himself into his own orgasm but focusing on you too. You weren't just any girl to them. You were important and they weren't here to use you.
You draw away from Kyle and he moves to your side again, moving his face to be level with yours. "Why don't you take a look at what he's doing hm?"
You swallow hard, raising yourself up onto your elbows. Johnny moves to your other side, lips by your other ear.
"He's stretching you so much. You're taking a lot. More than we thought you could." Kyle smiles. He hears you take in a sharp breath at a particularly hard thrust from Simon. He was getting sloppy with it. Seeing the lost look in your eyes is drawing him close.
"Your body is taking us so well darling. We knew you would."
You look up, eyes snapping to Ghosts and he gets chills down his spine at the look you're giving him.
"Happy Valentines Day, Y/N." It leaves Simon's lips and you can barely see his mouth move behind his mask. He doesn't expect you to cum.
You moan out, closing your eyes as you reach another orgasm, this one more intense than the first. Your clit throbs as you draw your hand away from it, nearly crying at the overstimulation. "Oh fuck!" Simon gasps, feelling you tense around him, pulsing with each beat of your heart.
He clutches your thigh harder than he intends when he finishes, eyes rolling back into his head when fills the condom. You gasp, feeling the warmth of it. How the hell were you going to do this another two times? You don't know where he's off to when he pulls away.
"M'kinda close already from your mouth darling, don't laugh when I don't last." Kyle jokes. You give him a lazy smile. You didn't see it, but he's got a condom on. You flinch when he slides into you. "You alright?" He asks, looking up at you. You nod your head. "If it's too much, we'll stop."
You smile at him. "I'm alright Kyle. Thank you." You breathe. Kyle had length on the rest of them, reaching parts of you untouched. You were already sensitive before, but knew you'd be pushing your body to the limits with him. You can't cum four times, surprised by the fact that they've even gotten two so close together. Your eyes water as he starts in, thrusting into you. He can't be as rough because he doesn't want to hurt you.
You've already taken so much. Soap cups your breasts, you tilt back to take him into your mouth. You surprise him.
He gasps when you take him down, sucking at the tip of his cock before taking him further down "Your lips look so pretty wrapped around me." He breathes, pinching one of your nipples between his fingers, hearing you gasp. You glide your hand up to entwine your fingers with Johnny's and he doesn't draw back, letting you clutch onto him.
You can tell how close Kyle is by how he starts to shake. His hands shake as he rests them on your thighs. His pants are uneven.
His face contorts in pleasure, teeth gritted and bared as he finishes deep into the condom, this time you can feel the force of his orgasm against your walls. You gasp out at the feeling.
You draw away from Johnny and he's quick to take Kyle's place. You couldn't take much more and he knew it. That's why he's going last.
Johnny is the best at being affectionate. At making love.
He slides the condom down around himself. Like the others had.
He pushes you up further on the bed, entering you much slower than the others, even going as far to give you a moment to adjust to him before he moves. You look up at him, almost as if giving him the approval to move. He draws back and thrusts into you, seeing you flinch slightly. He was really deep and you were overstimulated already.
"You think you can give me one more darling?" He smiles. You shake your head. "I don't know Johnny. It's a lot." You pant. Your eyes are already watery but he keeps his pace. "I think you can, lass. You've done so well for me. Done so good." He breathes. "One more doll. Just one. Focus on me."
He lowers himself to hover over you. Using his body weight on top of you to keep you grounded. "Johnny?"
"Hm?"
"Will you kiss me again?"
He doesn't respond, just presses his lips to yours. He's surprisingly a really good kisser, lips moving with yours.
You don't know why you're reacting to him like you are but just his kiss alone has that knot forming once more. You know this one may even hurt. He draws away, brushing your hair out of your face. "You feel so fucking good around me. You are so tight." He breathes. "You're doing so good darling, got me so close already." He bites his lip, trying to contain his moans.
He was getting close but he wants one more from you. Just one more.
He grasps your hand, bringing it up to your clit. "I can't Johnny, too much."
"Try for me doll. Just once."
You flinch when you touch your own clit. Thighs shivering as you ghost over it with your fingertips. You're so close.
The others hear your cry from just outside the door, cheeks turning pink at just the sound of you.
Johnny groans when you pulse around him, tears stream from you eyes and he finishes just in time as you push him away. It was nearly too much.
He finishes with a grunt, letting his high take over him.
When he comes down from it, he moves himself from on top of you.
You're panting out, tears still streaming from your eyes as you settle down. You've taken a lot tonight and they know it. But they just wanted to show you what you meant to them.
"I'll help you get cleaned up. give me a sec." He breathes, moving to get dressed and draping a blanket over you so that he could carry you to the showers. He knows once you're clean you'll fall asleep quick. While you're gone, the others help clean up the mess of rose petals and candles, changing your sheets for you as well.
Best Valentines Day ever.
#call of duty mw2#cod mw2#captain john price#soap mw2#mw2 smut#captain price#ghost mw2#price mw2#johnny soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#kyle garrick#gaz x reader#gaz smut#gaz mw2#gaz cod#kyle gaz garrick#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#soap cod#ghost cod#captain johnathan price
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Rey circles closer, a malicious grin on his shadowed face. The light left his eyes, it was almost like the Wolf Stare - which he had perfected, but wasn’t ready to use just yet. He seemed more like a hyena than a wolf right now, playing with Theo as a cat plays with a mouse.
“Me, of course. I’m the leader, of most things - and now you. There will be no questioning my authority. I am your boss, and you will listen to me. You’ll see how quickly the hawk becomes a dove once faced with punishment beyond your comprehension.” his right arm turned into his wolf-form’s arm, another attempt to intimidate.
“Big words for such a small-minded person. I am who you will respond to, and there’s no argument, got it? You can burn my skin as much as you like, but remember. I can out-run you, out-fight you, and no matter where you hide, I’ll find you.”
OPEN STARTER: BROKEN PROMISES.
TW: Murder, blood, self harm, suicide attempt, gore.
Why.
Why does everyone leave him? He can't bear it anymore. He can't- there nothing he can do about this anymore. He can't bring them back. He can't bring any of them back. It's over. They're all gone. What would his friends say if they saw this? They'd abandon him for sure. Gods, he's going to be alone again. He already feels alone.
Why did Argo have to do this? Make that deal with Eris? Make Theo kill him? Why- there had to be some other way. Anything at all. If they only had a bit more time, he's sure they could've figured something out. Why do they never have time?
Fuck. This is all his fault. He's a disgusting pig. How could he? How could he do this? No one will ever forgive him. This isn't something he can fix. It just isn't. He can't do this. He can't- he did. He did do this, and he regrets it so badly.
Everything is quiet, the only noise he hears is the horrible ringing in his ears and his quiet sobs. Even the ghosts in his head don't dare speak, though he's sure his parents would love to give him a piece of mind. Or Andrea. He just... doesn't hear anything.
Nothing matters anymore. He doesn't deserve to live. He broke two of his most important promises today- that he'd never kill another person the way he killed his sister and that he would always stick by Argo. How can he stick by Argo if he killed them the same way he killed Andrea?
There are cuts and slashes all over his arms and legs, his sword laying to his side, covered in a mix of his and Argo's blood. Tears mix with the blood on his face. Theo wants to just grab the sword again and slit his own throat, or stab himself through the heart, but he's shaking and crying too much to be able to hold his weapon right now.
He's sitting by a bump in the ground in the woods. A bump that resembles an improvised grave. There's a dagger in the ground on the bump- if anyone knew Argo, they'd recognize it as theirs. Theo's back is turned to you, hands clutching at his hair. "No- no, no... no... please, no..."
Taglist (ask to be added or deleted!!!): @the-great-emperor-commodus @literally-tinker-bell @the-son-of-the-sun @roryandthethorns @dad-left-for-the-milk @reyno-solis-real @onlymythologypersonincamp @l0st-child-of-war @lyric-of-the-sun @toxic-daughter-of-love
#i like how they’re doing this and in like an hour they’ll be like#Hastag BestFriends! Me and the bestie 🤪#i know i used the hawk dove line in the atticus final fight but its SO FLAMES#and the return will be symbolism bla bla bla
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youtube stop recommending me that five hour long “fall of doctor who” video challenge. there is not a video i could be less interested in watching.
#the youtube clickbait hyperbole is not doing it any favors. im sure there’s nuance in the video. maybe.#god there must be its five hours long.#but i do not think i am interested in a video that wants to be about ‘the fall’ of doctor who when. far as i can tell. seems more like#occasionally it stumbles. and that’s about it.#AND thirteen being the doctor that’s on the thumbnail is also not helping. im sure im making assumptions there too and its just that she was#the current doctor at the time but. this is youtube. you have a negative video. and you put a woman on there. i am primed to believe you are#about to say something insanely sexist lmao.#anyway. whatever.#its a me thing. i dont like watching negative epic teardowns™️ of stuff im not finished with myself. and doubly so when im unfamiliar with#the creator and don’t know if they’ll just be stomping and yelling at something for hours with no purpose or if they’ve got. anything#to actually offer. idk. it’s the shovelware lover in me i think. im not interested in someone’s negative opinion about a thing unless i know#they’re the kind of person who can respect that people still had to put months or years of work into it. maybe that work did not have a#good outcome but someone had to do it. the effort is worth being documented and looked at and not. i don’t know. yelled at like you’re the#nostalgia critic you know? im rambling on to much here#this is why the only good youtube video is folding idea’s video on the american tail video game. he gets it. its about how bad art is still#worth existing and being examined. and doctor who is far from being bad. so.#………..where was i going with this. its 4 am.
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Small drawing collection of my latest creation Emran as a teenager/freshly minted Air Acolyte, for my dear partner in unhinged OC shenanigans @katkastrofa, as promised <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#I need to figure out a way to tag these guys#like with renny and dori I just put sotrl in front of their names and that works#but emran is technically an LaF character. though not uniquely tied to that verse. and idk what to do with Ila and Alasie#maybe I need to have some unique oc tag or smth. I’ll figure it out#if you’re wondering why I stayed up until half past 7 a.m to draw this it’s because I needed some way to cool down#after the kuviren smut absolutely broke my brain#and what better way to do that than by drawing my sweet baby boy?#yes lmao he went from baby girl to baby boy in like 24 hours. fucking sue me#but actually. actually!! they’re both. they contain multitudes :)#they probably haven’t even realised that at this point and are still in disguise#convinced that she’ll be punished for her deceit if anyone found out that she’s actually a girl#(okay off topic but the switching pronouns are really fun lmao)#but give them time. they’ll figure it out soon enough. in these pieces they’re slowly getting used to temple life#and that is the first step to self acceptance#I’m actually extremely proud of these. especially the one with the apple basket. I feel like the androgynous vibes are really there#and he looks like his brother the most in it#but the others are fun too. I loved doing the portrait. I should do them more often#and.. I will admit. I traced the lemur. I can barely draw people okay how do you expect me to draw animals#but I just think that Aiza would really love a little lemur friend#animals don’t judge and she doesn’t have to watch herself around them. she can just be. plus the lemurs are really cute <3#I want to eventually do a companion to this with Aiza instead. maybe from back before she ran away#probably something based on reflection from Mulan too bc the vibes are there. though.. to be completely honest#I’d say they have a lot more of Shurochka Azarova’s vibes than Mulan. but that’s just my love for Soviet cinema taking over#it’s essentially if mulan fought napoleon instead. and when discovered instead of left to die they promoted her to lieutenant 😁#I realise the comparison is completely incomprehensible to everyone but me but.. go watch the hussar ballad. it’s free on YouTube with subs#okay enough rambling. i shall now go to bed. @ Kat I hope this brightens up your morning at least somewhat. I love you!!
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anyone else about 1 more wrong thing happening from exploding
#i haven’t had a day off in. this will be my third week#bc i worked weekends so i could save up enough hours to take christmas and Eve off bc my gf’s family does shit on both days and they’ll#throw a fit about how i ruined christmas if i’m not there. they’re going to say me and my gf ruined christmas regardless bc they do every ye#ar but i try to not cause a scene.#i was really excited about this weekend bc i was supposed to not have to work#but today i woke up and the power was out. i waited like 3 hours and it came back on. i got to work 2 hours before the fucking wifi went out#so now i have to work 6 hours on saturday to make up for it bc i don’t think the wifi is going to come back on for a while!!!!#killing myself killing myself i am so tired#i had to go grocery shopping by myself yesterday bc my gf is sick and i am not#i am so fucking tired#i am so fucking tired i want a day where i don’t have to think about work
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went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭
#diary#i was honestly abt to strangle EVERYBODY#‘do u have a cigarette’ ‘where’s ur vape’ ‘where are we going’ ‘which bus is it’ ‘do u have a ___’ ‘did u bring ___’ girl what am i DORA w#the magic fuckin BACKPACK ??? while ur UP MY ASS dig around & SEE IF SMTHGS IN THERE 😭😭😭😭#i literally broke sobriety again bc i was just#girl i was so agitated & there was 1 TRAIN LEFT BEFORE 11P so we needed to get the 2ND TO LAST BUS OF THE DAY#i deadass was like ‘if we miss that train i will make sure u all go blind’ ‘did u bring a knife’ ‘I DONT NEED 1’#AKSJAKSKAKKSJSKSSJAKJSKAHSKSHDLASKAKDLA#LIKE U BITCHES SMOKED ALL MY CIGARETTES MY VAPES DEAD MY PHONES DYING UR ALL DRUNK IM GOING TO KILL YALL 😭😭😭😭😭#<- me knowing i could never be a parent#tbh if i caught my kid smoking a cig id make em do the ol ‘im going to sit down in front of u w a fresh box of cigarettes & make u finish#the box or pass out’#YES IM STRICT#i think it’s so funny ok unrelated but like they’ll speak hindi & i’ve just#learned it through being around them kind of like i can’t speak it except for some word u know like matachot etc but i’ll Understand the#Context & what’s being Said#ASLKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA like while waiting for the train back 1 of them was talking abt me being a fool to the others - literally they’re#all indian & i had walked away so when i walked back he was still talkin but then i started giggling bc i knew he was talkin abt me & how i#pinched a bit of the kebab to throw to the seagull bc he offered it to me & i needed to bait the seagull w something & i pinched & tossed &#& he looked at me like 😦 bhenchod ! & then the seagull came over & i was like :D hi bestie <3333 but then when i started giggling after i#walked back he was like ‘what the fuck does he just know hindi now’#it makes me laugh so fucking HARD 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE FUCK U I LIKE TO PARTICPATE IN COVERSATION IDC ABT LANGUAGE#like i’ve been surrounded by yall for the past#girl it’s been like a year i don’t even talk to british ppl or americans#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSLA MESS ! i love to slavsquat & kp hates it bc he’s like ‘we’re in the uk why are u sitting like this’ bc he thinks#it’s ’too indian’ ALSKALSKALSKALJSKAKDLA 😭😭😭😭😭 this hips were made for sitting#we’re definitely going to go back bc it’s SO CLOSE IF WE ACTUALLY USE THE TRANSPORT PROPERLY ITS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR OR SO COMMUTE EACH WAY#bring lunch whatever#i’m exhausted but also socially like bro i had to leave the donner place just to walk around the block for SOME QUIET#i’ve just been sososososo busy LOSING MY MIND
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Look I fundamentally understand why they’ve opted to remove survival/combat mechanics from p3 but like…I’m so sad that means I can’t occur a random bloodlust again!
#I was getting into fighters with muggers on purpose#but also I feel like doing that is a kinda disservice in a sense?#since like things are in chaos? your position in the world doesn’t matter once all hell breaks loose#it won’t save you from being stabbed in the streets it won’t save you from starving#maybeeeeee they’re gonna do some character tweaking to where there’s a in universe reason on why this isn’t an issue#and if they pull it off effectively I’ll put my money where my mouth is#however as it currently stands I don’t like it#but also makes me wonder how they plan on handling Clara? like what will her gameplay be like?#like I don’t mind them switching up gameplay styles for each healer#whatever it’s creative I can fuck with it so long as it’s done right#but like when considering Clara I feel like you can’t separate her from surivial mechanics#so it’ll probably feel odd if two out of three healers have those mechanics while the other just doesn’t?#and again maybe they’ll sell it neatly and I’ll be giving it praise#but like just AGGHHHHUUGHHHH#banging my head against the wall#guess maybe Clara they could do a more stealth mechanic? but dunno about that#I’m using mechanic when I should probably say gameplay but I’m running on two hours of sleep let me be….#please#talking to the void tag#but like I don’t see the kains going out of their way to ensure his safety#he’s just a means to an end for them he’s just a pawn he is replaceable to them#he’s not special if he died they would find someone else to further their goals#nobody has an incentive to keep him alive!#his position means fucking nothing! he is nothing in this town! nothing in this situation#he should be fighting to cling to life just like everyone else!!#but whatever! maybe my issues with this will be solved when the game is released#because maybe there will be a decent reasoning given#I need to sleep
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#i would sorta like to understand how my parents can say such unbearably cruel things to my face#and think that they’re helping me#i get that other people in my life might not tell me the truth bc they don’t want to hurt me#but there’s a difference between being honest and being cruel#between being realistic and projecting your own dissatisfaction#and in the same breath they’ll ask me why i have no confidence in myself and tell me that i’ve wasted all my potential & it’s too late for#like#not that everything is their fault i am entirely responsible for not planning better#but how can they say something like that and think that they’re doing me a kindness#it just does not compute#this conversation happened yesterday and it was an hour of them venting their frustrations at me#frustrations that i fucking share!!!!! just for the record!!!!!#and then getting mad when i didn’t respond with some sort of hail mary like actually everything was fine#like what did they expect me to say#it also feels just so manipulative how much they insist that they are the only ones that care about me#that no one else in my life is reliable#which is already something i believe bc who would ever want to put up with all my bs outside of brief dinner parties#but i also can’t rely on them because everytime i have they’ve turned it against me like a weapon#so doesn’t that just mean that i genuinely have no one??? that i’m genuinely alone???#and i know i know they are like this because of their own trauma and their own issues#but i can’t manage myself much less manage all their emotions#it’s just such an awful situation#i’ll stop there the longer i type the more i spiral#but i am just extremely disappointed in myself that i couldn’t hold on to my good productive mood from last week for even a single day#after getting back#personal#vent
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reality shifting isn’t hard. you’ve been told it’s hard because everyone’s too scared to admit it’s not. they cling to their 800-step methods, their must-have crystals, their perfect conditions because they think that if they let go of that control, they’ll fail. but here’s the thing: the more you try to control the process, the more you convince yourself it’s out of your control. and that’s the problem. that’s why so many people feel stuck. shifting isn’t some big, far-fetched thing. it’s just you. it’s always been you.
we’re conditioned to think we’re powerless. think about it—school, work, society, all of it drills this idea into us that everything has to be proven, earned, validated. so, when you hear about shifting, your brain freaks out and says, wait, wait, this is too easy, this can’t be real. and then you spiral. you overcomplicate it. you make yourself think you need the “perfect” script, the “right” subliminal, or that you have to meditate for three hours while the stars align perfectly. like, no… you don’t. all of that? it’s fluff. it’s noise.
at its core, shifting is belief. just belief. no, really, let that sink in. you don’t need to “do” belief perfectly. it’s not something you master through sheer willpower. it’s something you already have. you’ve believed in things your whole life. you believed in gravity without needing proof. you believe your favorite songs are beautiful without needing to explain why. belief is natural. it’s effortless when you stop overthinking it. that’s the energy you need to bring to shifting—trust. trust that your mind knows what it’s doing, and that if you let it, it will take you there. every single extra thing you pile on? the overthinking, the doubt, the need for guarantees? that’s what’s slowing you down. not the “lack of progress,” not some mythical “block”—it’s you convincing yourself it’s harder than it is.
and let’s talk about social media for a second. oh my god, the shifting community on social media… i get it. it’s comforting to see other people on this journey. but let’s be honest—how much of that content is actually helping you? like, really? 90% of the time, scrolling through shifting advice isn’t inspiring; it’s overwhelming. everyone’s got their own opinions, their own “best methods,” their own rules. one person says scripting is a must, another says it’s a waste of time. one person swears by affirmations, another says visualization is the only way. and before you know it, you’re sitting there questioning everything you thought you knew, wondering if you’ll ever get it “right.” spoiler alert: you already know how to shift. you don’t need a thousand voices telling you what to do. in fact, the more you listen to them, the harder it becomes to hear yourself.
take a break. seriously. log off the apps. give yourself space to breathe and think. ask yourself: why do i want to shift? what’s stopping me? what feels right to me? no tiktok trend, youtube guide, or reddit post can answer those questions for you. only you can. and i know that sounds scary. we’ve been conditioned to think we need external validation for everything, but shifting is a deeply personal thing. you don’t need a step-by-step tutorial. you need to trust your instincts. that’s it.
and let me be clear: i’m not saying methods or subliminals are bad. they’re fine if they help you feel aligned. but they’re not what makes shifting happen. you are. methods are just tools. if you use them, great. if you don’t, that’s great too. because the truth is, shifting isn’t about doing things “right.” it’s about letting go of the idea that you need to.
so let me break it down for you. the only things you really need to shift are:
1. a desire. you have to want to go to your desired reality. no brainer, right?
2. belief. this is the big one. you have to trust it’s possible. no “what ifs,” no “but hows.” just trust.
3. persistence. if it doesn’t happen right away, that’s okay. don’t give up. if you’ve ever learned to ride a bike, you know that falling doesn’t mean you can’t do it—it just means you’re learning. shifting is the same.
that’s it. no fancy rituals, no endless research, no “perfect” conditions. the process is simple because it’s natural. you’ve probably done it before without even realizing it— the only reason it feels hard now is because you’ve convinced yourself it has to be.
stop making it harder than it needs to be. shifting isn’t this unattainable, mystical thing reserved for “chosen ones.” it’s something anyone can do. you can do it. your mom can do it. that anti-shifter lurking in every crevice of shiftblr could do it. you’ve always been capable. but you have to stop getting in your own way. stop doubting yourself. stop relying on others to tell you what’s possible. this is your journey. own it.
and above all, be patient. shifting is not a race. it’s not about how fast you can get there or how perfect your dr is. it’s about trust, intention, and focus. log off, tune into yourself, and let it happen. shifting has always been yours to claim. it’s not something you need permission for. it’s not something you need to earn. it’s just you, your mind, and your belief. always has been, always will be.
#shifting#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#loassumption#shifting tips#shifting antis dni#shifting script#law of assumption#reality shifting tips#quantum jumping#shifttok
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🖇️📁 𝐒𝐊𝐙 … 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/189b8acfc61bb5b47f8f581c14d79443/a915ae123afedd8c-a7/s540x810/4d224f3b9bb3e5e1b0f8f6de38cdc0aed9831255.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/86e6cc77138489089023e2902ac32c4e/a915ae123afedd8c-f7/s540x810/350e952c3a5b58318e228be3b2924932f8f2453a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7868751e0ba25dc9b4fe5cc145788713/a915ae123afedd8c-c6/s540x810/d07f0c7b7641972346e1b2ebb51f915e94152d22.jpg)
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, do not interact if you’re under 18
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, semi-public sex, dry humping, oral (female receiving)
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: ...or how skz likes to kiss you inside and outside of the bedroom! swear this was meant to be pure fluff but my finger slipped oops 😮💨 ngl i got kinda carried away so this is extremely nsfw - sorry, i can’t help myself when it comes to these pussy munchers
𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍
his favourite past time is making out with you
so you best believe he goes all in
no way he’s half assing it
loves slow, lazy makeouts at night when he’s all tired and stressed from work, forgetting all his worries as soon as he gets your pretty lips on his
sits with you on your little worn out sofa, arm slung around the back of it to keep you tucked into his side, jaw working your mouth open
real slow and gentle with it, groaning into your mouth when you nip and sigh cutely against him - hands bunching up his shirt to pull him even closer into you
could sit with you like that for hours
and when you break away to suggest going to bed cause you both have to be up early the next day, he just chases after your swollen lips with a pout on his face, muttering ‘just five more minutes’ before shoving his tongue down your throat again
and five minutes always turns into another half hour with this guy
he just can’t get enough of you :(
FOREHEAD KISSES!!
also loves to give you little pecks on your neck and behind your ear whenever you’re cuddling
and will blow raspberries against your skin like the little shit he is
you better believe he pours every ounce of love he has for you into every little kiss
especially when he has your legs wrapped around his waist with his cock bumping into your cunt
lets out the filthiest groans and grunts into your mouth and doesn’t leave you alone for a minute, eating up all your little gasps for air
you’ll literally have to force this guy off you
“chan honey, i can’t breathe.”
“i’m sorry 🥺 you just taste so good 🥺🥺🥺”
he’s obsessed
this guy just has to keep his mouth busy or else he’ll go insane
not able to keep his lips to himself
they’ll be attached to your tits, collarbones, neck; literally everywhere, licking and nipping at the pretty skin when you sink down painfully slow on his dick, hitting so deep inside you it knocks the wind out of you
he mostly does it to muffle his needy whimpers, strong arms arms snaking around your waist to pull you even closer to his chest, so close you’re practically one
and with every sink of his teeth in your skin and desperate hump of his hips - nudging his cock even deeper into your tight, hot cunt - has you trembling in his arms, brain cloudy and fogged and full of him
hardly able to do anything but sit pretty on his cock and take it, gasping and whining and clawing at him
until his lips are making their way back up to your neck, pressing a sloppy kiss against your lips just as you finally cream on his length, spurring a few more desperate thrusts of his own until he’s pumping you full
and your sweet little whimpers don’t even get a chance to slip past your lips before they’re being swallowed up by him
extremely gentle with you afterwards, pulling his softening cock out of your warmth and shushing your whine when his cum gushes out of you and onto your thighs
pressing a few more heated kisses against your mouth before they’re back on your chest, kissing the marks he left better
𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐇𝐎
good luck getting this guy to kiss you in public
number one hater of pda
loves riling you up and watching as you tug on his arm to get his attention, a cute whine leaving you when he doesn’t so much as spare you a second glance
he just wants to see you beg first :(
but the second he sees a little pout thrown his way and your eyes staring up at him all needy and pretty he’s f o l d i n g
he gets so carried away too
so you won’t be able to even give him a little kiss throughout the day cause as soon as you try to walk away he’s pulling you back flush against his chest, ignoring your protests before planting his lips onto yours - hand stroking the curve of your back making you melt into him
and he loves seeing that dumb fucking look on your face when he slowly pulls away, eyes hyper focused on his lips and itching to kiss them until they’re bruised and swollen and only craving you
“if you’re gonna kiss me at least do it right.”
yeah he just can’t help himself when it comes to you
gets to the point where you’ll have to leave the house without even saying goodbye to him cause you know you’ll end up in his lap with your skirt bunched around your waist, his pretty lips working you up for the next half hour if you do
loses his mind whenever you wear lipgloss
loves the sight of your lipstick stain all over his face whenever you makeout, tasting your strawberry lipgloss on his tongue, sticky and pretty pink
he’s all over them whenever he’s stretching you out nice and good around his cock
quietens your desperate gasps of pleasure with a rough kiss, all open-mouthed and sloppy as he fucks up into you
telling you to stfu or he’ll stop
but you just can’t help yourself when he’s so big and hitting so deep
he’ll reach down and rub his fingers against your nub as you close in around his length - panting into the kiss as you deepen it even more, tongue pushing into his mouth and lapping up his taste
king of lip biting!!
takes your bottom lip between his teeth when he feels you’re too far gone, eyes unfocused and dazed as you struggle to keep yourself grounded, hands all over his back, arms ass - anywhere you can reach
just to feel
and his little tug on your lips has you coming back to reality, cunt pulsing and hot as he slows inside of you, pulling away just to ask,
“you okay baby? sure you can take what i’m giving you? looks like you’re lost in that pretty little head yours.” and he’s sososo smug about it
you can do nothing but pull him back to your lips, just wanting him to shut up and fuck you like he means it, making him grunt into your mouth as he brings his hips back to their wild pace
likes playing with your clit when he’s inside you too, soaking his fingers up in your wetness just to bring them up to your mouth not a second later
and you just can’t stop bouncing on his cock, moaning lewdly when he shoves them between your lips, kissing and sucking on the digits in desperate need
nearly nuts right then and there when your eyes roll into the back of your head from tasting yourself, pulling them out just to replace them with his mouth - tasting your pussy on his tongue
makes his cock swell up even more
and it won’t be long until he’s panting your insides with sticky, white ropes of cum
his mouth continuing to eat up your begs
𝐒𝐄𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐍
wishes kissing you all day paid a mortgage cause if it did that man would have you TORTURED
he’s just a simple man
and he has one simple ideology
pretty lips / they’re gonna get kissed
and what is he supposed to do when you have the prettiest lips ever
just begging to be kissed
bro will have your lipgloss LICKED off you
he’s so playful with it
likes to squish your cheeks between his fingers and kiss your pouted lips over and over until you literally have to fight him off
he’s so annoying
the only form of currency this guy accepts is in the form of kisses
YOUR kisses
so if you ever want smth this guy will make you beg for it
doesn’t matter if you’re in public
this fucker gets a kick out of embarrassing you
points at his puckered lips and giggles like a little shit until you finally roll your eyes and give in
and he just can’t help himself but get so lost in the sweet taste of you that he’ll forget you’re in the middle of the fucking mall and full on making out with you
and laughs hysterically when you get scolded by a worker
such a brat istg
but how can you not possibly give him what he wants when he’s looking at you all 🥺
likes kissing you all slow and sloppy on his off days, cozied up in his bed and completely wrapped up in him - his clothes, his arms, his lips coaxing pretty sounds from you
pulls away every now and then just leave a few more tired pecks against your lips - smiling all smitten against them and pulling you even tighter into him
has to keep his lips busy or he’ll crash tf out
l i v e s for fucking you on his studio chair, sweat and gasps filling up your senses as his cock hits all those sweet spongy spots inside you - watching your head loll back and your eyes roll into the back of your skull - and what’s a man to do when the skin of your neck is looking so delicious and kissable
he’ll be groaning and grunting and muttering the most vile shit into the crook of your neck, sweet kisses being placed on your jaw as he soaks up all your sighs
loves seeing your pretty tits all marked up
and can feel himself get hard again when he sees them once he empties himself inside of you
definitely nuts as soon as you mark him up
this man literally makes out with your pussy
all messy and full of spit and cum and he just gets absolutely lost in you
pulls away now and again to kiss the inside of your thigh, leaning his cheek against it after to look up at you
and just loves how easy he’s able to make you fall apart on his tongue
watching your chest heave and hands claw at the bedsheets, looking for anything to ground your fucked out form before his fingers are intertwining with his own, urging you to meet his pretty eyes
“you okay sweetheart? haven’t even got you on my cock yet and look at you.”
and as soon as you nod numbly he’s diving straight back in, nose bumping and leaving hot open-mouthed kissing against your cunt - coaxing all those sobs and whimpers out of you like your pussy was made for him
𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍
staying strong on my tease!hyunjin agenda 🗣️🗣️🗣️
likes to brush his lips against your own as if he’s gonna kiss you, only to tut mockingly before pulling back just when you melt into him
just to see the cute way you try to chase his lips with your own
bro thinks its the funniest thing ever when you huff and try to walk away
before he’s pulling you back against his chest and silencing your complaints with a long, needy kiss
and before he knows it you’ve got him completely wrapped around your finger
cause he’s so head empty and all he can think about is the feel and taste of your sweet lips against his own
so when you even try to pull away he’s whining and chasing after you, begging you to just ditch your plans for the day and just makeout with him
and he will not stop annoying you until you finally cave
but if you decide to ignore him and leave him alone he will nonstop call and text you
“baby when are you getting home? i miss youuuu.”
and you just have to laugh cause he’s so unknowingly smitten for you
he just gets so drunk on your lips
if you go over two hours without seeing eachother he’s all over you
those lips will be KISSED believe me
he’s ready for your kiss no matter what
have you seen those lips
that shit is moisturised af
HAND PLACEMENT!!
likes to keep a hand tangled in your hair, titling your head slightly as he works your jaw open even more, breathing deeply and nipping at your bottom lip - his other hand laying flat on the curve of your spine, keeping you pressed tight against him
another to lose complete control, every time you guys makeout it’ll end with him inside you without fail
doesn’t matter where you are
he’s completely unhinged whenever he gets off stage after a performance
all sweaty and full of adrenaline and soso desperate for you
you swear he’s never looked hotter
he zeroes in on you the second he steps into the room, ignoring anyone and everyone trying to get in his way
and you don’t even have time to congratulate him before he’s pressing into you - a long moan being grunted against your lips the second he gets a taste of you and your sweet mixture of lipgloss and cranberry soda - the hard erection of his cock bumping against your tummy
and he b e g s you to follow him into an empty dressing room or some tightly spaced supply closet, cause he feels like he’s gonna go insane and the feel of your lips moaning and panting against him is enough to work him up even more - bulge pressing hotly in the confines of his pants
bro does not wear underwear so he just whips it out the second he gets you alone
and as soon as he bottoms out inside of you you’re whimpering and withering against the wall he has you propped up on, squeezing your thighs from where they rested on his hips
and he can’t do much to quieten down your begs but press his lips against your own, swallowing up all your cries as he fucks up into you - drunk on the warmth of your hot cunt
“you’re gonna have to be quiet for me pretty girl, don’t want anyone else hearing those cute moans.”
gets so much in his own head and can’t think straight when you’re clamping down on him so snugly
he wouldn’t be able to escape even if he wanted to
so he finds it hard to keep kissing you, telling you to bury your face in his neck to muffle your cries
and there’s just lipstick and bite marks plastered all over him and he just knows his makeup artist is gonna be tearing her hair out tryna cover them all up later
gives you a final long kiss when he cums so deep inside you, grunting like a whore and your name falling off his lips like a prayer as he taints your insides with his seed
he just can’t wait to have you riding his dick later, letting out all those pretty noises you want
𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆
obsessed
smitten
head over heels
whatever word there is to describe, its how han jisung feels about your lips
so it’s no surprise he just can’t help himself and keep his lips to himself
THE GOAT OF PDA
he couldn’t give a shit if you’re in public, this guy will sneak in a kiss any chance he gets
and you’ll have to scold him every time cause before you know it he’s completely kissed all your makeup off
but what’s a girl to do when your boyfriend is looking at you all needy and begging for attention
and you just can’t resist cause have you seen this mans lips??
bro is a babygirl and has a babygirl type pout on his face permanently
he goes too far with it every time though
to the point where the other boys boo and throw imaginary rotten tomatoes at you and tell you to get a room
and he’s just like :)
and drags you away to kiss you some more
his fav activity hands down
hands will be ALL OVER YOU
on your ass, messing up your hair, dipping under your skirt - you name it, his hands are exploring it
and you’ll have to shoo him away every time cause he’ll just get too carried away and try to finger you in public
he’s such a sucker™ for you
he just about melts whenever you’re the first to initiate a kiss/makeout
he’s all over you 24/7 so to see you chasing after him, all needy and cute whines is a big ego boost
he won’t be able to keep up his smug act for long though before you’re tugging him down by his shirt, an embarrassingly loud groan being choked out against your lips the second he feels your tongue licking and kissing away at him - and you’d roll your eyes at how desperate he’s being if you weren’t so busy tryna slip your hands into his pants
he’s such a needy boy so whenever he gets too overstimulated he’ll beg you to kiss him, his cock all red and swollen in your hand - leaking with precum and just begging you to finally sit on it
and he just wants to stay grounded and focused, his pretty eyes all teary looking up at him, heavy pants into your mouth when you lean down and work his lips open with your tongue
and he’s letting out the sluttiest little whimpers, bucking up into the hand fisted around his dick
small fucked out begs of “please angel, just move your hand, suck me off, sit on my dick - anything. i’ll take anything, just do something.”
and he just sounds so ruined the only thing you can do is smile mockingly against his lips, thumb pressing down on the slit of his cockhead causing him to tremble in your hold
by the time you’re done with him he’s all sticky and used, and he can barely respond to your comforting kiss
whimpering into it when your small praise of “you did so well sungie,” hits his ears
whenever he’s eating you out he’ll leave little pecks against the plush skin of your thighs to work you up, watching the way your pussy glistens so prettily the closer he gets
he’s fucking gone the second he clamps his mouth down on your pussy, eyes rolling into the back of his head and whining as the taste of you invades all his senses
plants a big messy kiss against your cunt before eating you out like a man starved
someone feed him
𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗
soft boy™
loves loves loves kissing you in the morning
he thinks you’ve never looked prettier
with your hair all disheveled and eyes all sleepy, throwing him a tired smile as you cuddle into his side
and morning breath be damned cause he just can’t help himself from titling your head towards him, humming into your mouth as he leaves a loving kiss against it
doesn’t matter if he as work in an hour, he will take his time loving on you, ensuring every kiss he places is as meaningful as possible
kisses your eyelids, your forehead, your fingertips
anywhere he can reach
the way he kisses you is so affectionate each and every time, as if he’s silently telling you how much he loves you
he knows you have him wrapped around your finger, time slowing to a stop every time his lips come in contact with your own
and he’d rather be no where else, the slow buzz of the traffic outside droning on in the background as his lips capture yours again and again, snuggling you deeper into the sheets
kisses you as if you are both disconnected from the rest of the world
gets soso huffy whenever his phone dings while he’s lost in you, silencing it without even breaking away from you and you’re like
“lix, you were meant to be in work an hour ago.”
“just another minute.”
and you can’t even fight him on it cause his lips are so soft and addicting and you swear you could stay like this all day
literally will only pull away if chan barges in and tells him to get his ass into the studio already
oops
will not regret a thing though
will spend the rest of the day thinking about you and your pretty lips
all over you whenever he’s drunk
literally can’t help himself from kissing you any chance he gets, changbin will have to hold him back - reminding him you’re all in public and it probably isn’t approbate to corner your girlfriend against the wall and kiss her like no ones watching
and he’s just like ‘idccc, i just wanna kiss my pretty baby 😩😩😩”
acts like he’ll die if you don’t kiss him every five minutes
and will not do ANYTHING you ask until he’s rewarded with your sweet lips
gets so giggly and can’t stop smiling into your kisses
he’s so head over heels for you
and it shows in the way he fucks you too
even when he’s stretching you out all nice, he’s still so gentle with it
shushing your cries inbetween heated kisses, and leaving small pecks to the side of your head when he finally buries his cock to the hilt inside you - swearing you’re doing so well for him
extremely vocal
and no matter how much you tell him to stfu cause you’re sharing the dorm with the other boys he just won’t listen
letting out the prettiest mewls when you grind your cunt down onto his cock
so you’ll just have no choice but to eat up his noises, finding it hard to keep up with his needy tongue fucking coupled with the desperate, sloppy thrusts of his hips
could absolutely waste the day away on your lips :(
𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍
tries his absolute hardest to keep up his little tsundere act up
but the second you lean into him all teasingly, looking up at him beneath your lashes before planting those sweet lips against his own - he’s kicking his feet and twiddling his thumbs like a fucking schoolgirl 😭
can’t help but hum into your mouth, pulling you even closer against his chest and titling your head up to get better access to your kisses
and when you pull away he wouldn’t be able to fight off the coy smile that takes over his face
until he overhears hyunjin and changbin teasing him about how cute he looks when he’s in love
istg he tries to fight them
and god the amount of kisses it takes to subdue this man is criminal
but you eventually manage to convince him to not murder his hyungs, at least not in public
truly not into your small, little chaste kisses
loves his makeouts to be as hot and messy as possible, just wants to feel you fall apart in his hold
likes it when you take care of him when he’s had a bad day, sitting him down on your sofa and coaxing yourself on his lap
lets his head hang back against the back of the couch and eyes slip shut as your fingers massage through his tangled hair, lips painting his neck in marks before making your way up to his face, kissing away the stressed furrow between his brows
all the while whispering pretty words of praise
and with every kiss you leave against him he can feel the hot stiffening of his cock against your cunt
just loves having you sit pretty for him in his lap, quick to rid you both of your clothes to feel your bare pussy drag against his cock with every hump of your hips, groans and sighs being gasped into your sloppy kiss
and he’s more than happy to eat up every little noise you let you, every whimper from when his dick bumps into your entrance, nipping when you whine a little too loud - making sure to leave them all swollen and bruised with his need
his favourite type of kisses is when you’re stuffed full of cock
his lips will be everywhere all at once, just absolutely depraved and trying to urge more of those needy moans from your parted lips
likes kissing you when you can barely respond, watching in excitement when your eyes loll to the back of your head and tongue hangs slightly out of your mouth, legs trembling and back arching - feeling the tight fit of his dick pressing into his snug walls just begging you to gush around him
gasped whines not even getting the chance to breath before they’re being swallowed by his hungry kisses
bro eats all that shit up!!
and you can barely keep up with all his licking, teasing, biting - too focused on the movement of his hips fucking into you
and he’s sososo mean about it
“c’mon baby, not even gonna kiss me back? think i at least deserve it for making you feel so good.”
“gonna finally kiss me if i make you cum?”
and his words are just so nasty, laughing when you can do nothing but sob so beautifully, the stretch of his cock being just on the verge of a bit too much
but you wanna fight him on it so bad
cutting his laughing short when you drag him down by his dangling chain to press a hot kiss to his open mouth, legs wrapping around his waist even tighter to press his cock impossibly deeper inside of you
and he can’t even help but chuckle into your mouth like the bastard he is, dick finally hitting that familiar spot inside you, so deep and snug it has you twitching around him
and he’ll just keep kissing you as you cum around him
sometimes when he’s being extra mean to you he’ll kiss your forehead after, planting a soft one on your nose then your lips
telling how much of a good girl you were
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍
worships the ground you walk upon istg
sometimes he thinks he’s coming onto you too strong so he tries to hold himself back when he’s kissing you
but the second you wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him firmly against you, fingers playing with the small hairs at the bottom of his neck, he just about loses it
always afraid to kiss you first so he leaves it up to you
and god he kisses so good
smiles into it and toys with the end of your pretty little skirt, nipping occasionally at your bottom lip to pull a gasp out of you
and you’re just like 🤨🤨 who taught you to kiss this good mf
genuinely think he’d be the best kisser in skz
he just takes his time with you
makes you feel so comforted and protected in his arms
bro will not leave for work until he makes sure you’ve been kissed all over, no matter how late he is
and he just spends the whole day unfocused, thinking about getting home to you and kissing you until you’re just as obsessed as he is
will n e v e r kiss you in front of the others though
treats you like a homie
guy held your hand once and never heard the end of it
probably got walked in on by changbin or smth while making out with you and got teased relentlessly
didn’t kiss you for a month straight after
he’s such a hermit and wraps himself up in his room all day playing video games
and the only way to get his attention is planting yourself pretty on his lap when he’s lounging on his gaming chair, doe eyes looking up at you all confused and lips parted ready to ask you what tf you think you’re doing before you’re shoving your tongue down his throat
and you swear his controller nearly broke from how quick he flung that shit to grab fistful of your ass instead
ignoring his teammates shouts over the headset as he dies in whatever fuckass game he’s playing
he doesn’t care, all he can focus on is you, on his lap, working your pretty lips against his own
his kisses become so eager and rushed whenever he’s in the mood
you could be making ramen in the kitchen at 2am and this guy will pop a boner
presses himself up against you, his hard cock fitting perfectly between the crevice of your ass as he leaves sloppy kisses on the back of your neck, working his way up to your jaw
and he’ll never just ask you to fuck, he’ll just grind against you like a little bitch until you finally allow him to finally push your panties to the side and nudge into you
buries his head into the crook of your neck when he bottoms out - planting long kisses against your back from were he has you bent over - all pretty and keening for him
soaking up all your soft gasps and mewls, whimpering a mixture of his name and endless pleas as it all becomes a little too much
© 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐬 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.
#stray kids reactions#stray kids smut#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#skz reactions#skz smut#bang chan smut#lee minho smut#seo changbin smut#hwang hyunjin smut#han jisung smut#lee felix smut#kim seungmin smut#yang jeongin smut#bang chan x reader#lee minho x reader#seo changbin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#han jisung x reader#lee felix x reader#kim seungmin x reader#yang jeongin x reader
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Hiii!! I hope you're doing well :))
I just loveee the traitor series. Do you plan on making a part 5 or more?
thank you! here’s part five :)
the other parts can be found in my COD masterlist, which is here
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
I’ll proofread later :))
you stormed out of the gym, eyesight blurry from hot tears. you weren’t crying because you were sad— no. you were furious. furious at how simon was so fucking stubborn. at how he thought he was in the right.
droplets of blood marked your footsteps as you made your way back to the infirmary. you weren’t particularly anxious to be yelled at by the doctor, but getting it over with as soon as possible was ideal.
“bonnie, y’alrigh’?”
soap. you hadn’t even seen him, so lost in your thoughts. you blinked away tears and ignored the scot, continuing to make your way down the hall in silence.
the sound of hurried footsteps was unmistakable behind you. soap wasn’t taking silence for an answer, apparently.
“bonnie, please—” he began, the drawl of his voice catapulting your mind to the past. to better days.
days when soap had patched you up after a fight, his fingers nimble as he stitched up a cut in your thigh.
“s’it hurt?” he spoke, voice gravelly because of his hushed tone.
you shook your head. your head was tilted back, eyes staring up at the ceiling but not truly seeing. you were worried sick— you and soap were the only ones who’d made it to the safe house so far. the others should’ve beaten you there, and now they were over an hour late.
“bonnie, ‘m sure they’re alrigh’,” he told you, poking the needle through skin. you barely felt it, too hyped up on fear and adrenaline.
“they should’ve beaten us here, y’know that—” you began, but he tutted, quickly cutting you off.
“cannae think like tha’, bonnie. they’ll be here any second, aye?”
he stops his stitching, his face tilting up and away from your leg. you faintly register the feeling of his eyes on you.
you felt lost— floating in sea of numbness. your mind is mulling over the millions of possibilities— possibilities in which they never return.
you’d never felt this way before, and the five of you had endured far worse.
the only thing that was different this time was the fact that you and simon were together. you’d never explicitly told the rest of the task force, but they knew.
johnny knew why you were so worked up. he understood.
he reaches a hand up, his dirtied fingers lightly tilting your chin down so you’re face to face.
“y’there?” he asks, his hand dropping from your chin. he moves to squeeze one of your hands, pulling you back down to the ground.
you give a small nod, fingers moving to intertwine with his. he smiles— not his usual playful expression, but a true, grateful, relieved smile.
“im here,” you tell him. he releases your hand, pulling away from your skin, giving your hand a light pat before fully retreating.
“‘m almost finished, yeah? then I’ll go lookin’—”
“no need.”
it’s kyle, breathing heavily as he shuffles into the room. price and ghost are right on his heels, the three men making the room feel much smaller than it did a moment ago.
“you two good?” kyle asks, a small frown on his lips as he takes note of your bloodied leg.
you nod, your eyes flitting from gaz, to price, to simon— who is now moving towards you. he crouches down so he’s eye level with you. you meet his gaze, and although he doesn’t say it, you know what he’s thinking.
he’s relieved, and it’s a deeper relief than usual. it’s heavier, more profound, because he’s started to let you in. you’re more than teammates now, and it doesn’t truly hit ghost until this moment.
“im good,” you tell him quietly. he nods, glances down at where johnny is tying off your stitches.
johnny must notice ghost’s stare, because he breaks his focus and looks up at his lieutenant with a cheeky smirk.
“no worries, LT. made sure to do ma best work,” he grins and shoots the other man a wink, to which ghost grunts, unamused.
the heavy weight of a palm on your shoulder breaks you from the memory. you move without thinking, bloodied fist swinging as you whirl around to attack whoever laid a hand on you.
then you remember— soap.
johnny narrowly dodges your assault, his eyes widened as your fist barely clips him.
“steamin’ jesus!” he speaks, throwing his hands up in surrender and taking a step back from you.
“i was jus’ tryin’ to make sure ya were alrigh’! yer bleedin’, bonnie.”
you blink as you slowly escape your stupor. you’d completely lost yourself in the memory, and you didn’t know why.
probably because your brain was trying to comfort itself the only way it knew how— by seeking comfort from the people closest to you.
old habits, right?
old fucking habits.
“don’t touch me,” you seethe, eyes narrowing as you glare at the scot. he frowns, bites his lip, but doesn’t say anything.
like a kicked puppy. you can’t help but feel sympathetic before you wrestle that feeling back down. he wasn’t sympathetic for you— why should you be for him?
you look at him for a moment longer, taking in his appearance. he looks fine, and that angers you just the slightest bit more.
“look, i— i ken we really messed up, and sorry cannae fix tha’, but please, bonnie. a’least let us try—”
“I don’t owe you anything, mactavish.” you told him, gaze cold as you met his eyes. “and you’re right, sorry can’t fix it. nothing can fix it; so, stop trying.” you step forward, raising a hand as you point a finger into his chest.
“the four of you need to leave me the fuck alone. frankly, I couldn’t care less about how the four of you feel. about how he feels. you did what you did, believed what you believed, and now you have to live with that.”
johnny’s frown deepens as his eyes glance down at the finger you’ve got digging into his sternum.
“you deserve to feel like shit,” you tell him. “and anything you feel— how sorry you are— just know that I suffered a hundred times more in that chair, locked up in that room. so the next time you wanna watch me from outside the infirmary, or you wanna put your fucking hands on me,” your jaw is clenched, fire licking at your veins as you speak to him.
“remember what you did. remember that nothing can fix it. remember that you’re dead to me— all of you are— and that I never would’ve let that happen to any of you.”
“and I hope it hurts like hell, mactavish. I hope it eats you alive, and that you never find peace because you don’t deserve it.”
you drop your hand, your eyes still on his.
“and I hope you tell the rest of them I said that. especially him.”
you turn then, take a steadying breath, and keep walking.
soap watches you go without another word.
“that was stupid,” the doctor chastises you, her lips pressed into a thin line as she examines your knuckles.
“you blatantly went against my one rule for you. I shouldn’t have even let you out of bed, but you’re too damn stubborn! so I thought I’d give you some grace, but there you go— leaving my iv pole in the hall. bloodying your knuckles. I should let one of the newbies patch you up,” she grumbles, her gloved hands cool against your skin.
over the time you’d spent in the infirmary, you and the doctor had formed an odd bond. it was almost as if you were friends, but she always kept things strictly professional.
but you’d catch her giving you sad glances sometimes. you knew she was upset for you, angry for you, but she would never speak on it. that was okay with you.
it was enough to know that someone was on your side.
“sorry, doc. it’s not like it was planned,” you tell her, and her eyes flick up to meet yours. the look on your face told her everything she needed to know.
she didn’t push the topic. instead, she finished patching you up in silence. wrapping your knuckles in bandages, she gave them one last once-over before sending you on your way.
“kicking me out?” you asked her, raising your eyebrows.
she nodded, her eyes scanning the chart in her hands.
“if you’re okay enough to throw a punch, i think you’re okay enough to return to your quarters. unless you want to stay,” she says, and its unspoken, but you know what she’s implying.
unless you want to stay behind that door, guarded from the 141. unless you don’t want to go back to your quarters and see it as you’d left it before they’d tied you up.
unless it would be too painful to leave.
you shook your head. “im good. thank you, doc. really.”
the doctor gave a small smile and nodded. “of course. you’re due back in a week for a check up, alright? I need to check on those bruises and mending bones.”
you nod and give her a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “wouldn’t miss it.”
she bids you goodbye before turning and disappearing behind a white curtain. you inhale deeply before heading for the door.
when you step into the hallway, it’s quiet. you pass through base with relative ease, quickly slipping past anyone you come across in the halls.
you don’t see any of the 141, and you’re grateful. you couldn’t handle another interaction with them today— and you didn’t know how much longer you could remain civil.
once you reached your door, you pushed into the dusty darkness of the room. it’d been a while since you’d been in here, and although you were glad to finally be free of the smell and sounds of the infirmary, you weren’t particularly happy to be back in this room.
this room, which was down the hall from the rest of the 141.
this room, which held memorabilia of your time with your team.
this room, which you swore still smelled like simon.
you grit your teeth, willing yourself to stop thinking about him. he was fucking everywhere, and you were starting to believe you’d never be free of him and the 141.
your memories. your pain. your scars. no matter how much you healed and moved on from what happened, it would always be there in the back of your mind. it would sneak up on you when you least expected it; it would haunt your dreams at night.
it would leave you waking up screaming for mercy.
it would keep you untrusting for the years to come.
you flicked on the light and scanned the room. it had been upended, clothes strewn across the floor and picture frames shattered.
in the midst of it all, a vase of long dead flowers sits atop your desk.
there’s a little note hanging off the vase. against your better judgement, you reach for it. the paper feels scratchy against your fingers, and the scribbled pencil inside seems the tiniest bit faded.
your eyes scan the note.
‘You were right.
Hope you can understand.’
— sr
you pick up the vase and throw it against the wall. glass shatters. dead flowers fall to the floor.
your knees give out and you crumple to the floor, sitting amidst reminders of once was.
you let yourself cry for the first time in a while.
#call of duty fic#gaz call of duty#soap call of duty#ghost call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty#ghost x gn reader#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost angst#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#simon riley x gn reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley#captain john price#captain price#141!reader#141 x reader#task force 141#tf 141#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon riley angst#johnny mactavish#john price
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. staying at your boyfriend’s house for the first time is nerve wracking. though luckily satoru understands your situation all too well.
wc. around 870
tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff, teeny tiny bit suggestive implications. reader is implied to be a virgin + has no experience dating. satoru being a gentleman hehe. nicknames used ‘sugar, sweetheart’. not beta read.
“are you sure?” you ask your lover who’s making himself comfortable on the couch. satoru sits down and gives you a reassuring smile. he adjusts the blue blanket he’s covering himself with before responding.
“mhm. a hundred percent,” he nods and reaches for your hand. his thumb brushes over your knuckles in a soothing manner. his blue eyes glow with the purest form of love—pure unadulterated love for you.
it’s your first time staying over at your boyfriend’s. it’s nerve wracking for some reason. maybe because you have all kinds of ideas running through your head about how your night could possibly go.
the thought about possible intimacy is scary, because you’re not sure if you’re actually prepared. you had set your mind to it on your way to his house; you will be ready if satoru asks to take things further. for his sake. .
but, when the time had come, nothing happened. you expected at least something to happen. he’s kissed you as per usual, however more than that has not occurred. perhaps it’s your own fault for trying to predict what will happen.
though how can you not? you assumed that if a boyfriend and girlfriend spend the night together, they’ll surely do something more. at least you think that’s what happens most of the time. with other couples that is.
you should’ve known by now that satoru doesn’t compare to other men. especially not to the college boys your age—who only want to hit and move on. satoru is serious about your relationship. committed.
“what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sugar?” satoru’s smooth voice interrupts your thoughts. you clear your throat and shake your head, dismissing your own tendencies to overthink every little thing.
his big hands cover both of yours completely. they’re warm. nice to hold. the older man lifts your hands up to his lips and kisses your palms. you sigh and finally relax after what feels like hours, “nothing, ‘toru.”
nothing, you say. little did you know that satoru has long noticed what’s wrong. you’re easy to read—your body language reveals every little thing you’re feeling.
you subconsciously had your fists clenched at your sides the second you stepped into his apartment. you’ve been avoiding eye contact more than usual and you keep nibbling on your bottom lip. those were all the signs he needed.
satoru knows you well enough to realise that you’re overly nervous. he understands why. it’s your first time staying overnight at a man’s house—your boyfriend’s house.
satoru’s sure you’re thinking that he’ll ask you to sleep with him. it’s obvious. each time he kisses you, you tense up. you normally get flustered, though today you’re more than just nervous.
he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable. he doesn’t want you to think that he’ll do anything you’re not ready for. the last thing satoru would do is take advantage of this precious moment. of his precious girl.
it’s also why he suggested to sleep on the couch. he figured that you’ll be less nervous if you have the bed to yourself. all he wants is for you to relax around him.
“may i?” satoru whispers. his warm breath caresses your hands and you instantly give your consent to whatever he wishes to do. the older man thanks you quietly before putting his forehead against yours.
you look into each other’s eyes and you’re once again stunned by the beauty of his blue orbs. satoru brushes his knuckles over your cheek, adoring just how adorable you look from up close, “it’s okay, yeah? i won’t ask you to do anything. i promise.”
you blink. it’s only then that the realisation dawns upon you. no wonder satoru has immediately noticed your nervous demeanour. he’s always so perceptive of how you feel. it’s quite heartwarming.
those comforting words are all you need. you smile brightly and hug satoru out of reflex. you hear a giggle escape his lips before he returns the gesture. his strong arms wrap around your form and he squeezes you to his chest.
“aww, there’s my baby,” satoru coos. he’s happy that he’s finally succeeded at calming you down. he’s also happy that he got your usual self back. he tenderly kisses the top of your head.
you lift your head up to get some air. satoru’s tight embrace and familiar scent nearly suffocated you—not that you would mind going out like that. you kiss his cheek, “thank you for being so. . err, patient and understanding.”
your boyfriend shakes his head with a soft smile playing across his lips. satoru leaves a trail of ticklish pecks down your face until he reaches your lips. after waiting for your usual sign - a faint nod - he captures them in a gentle kiss.
he pulls away after a few seconds, though stays close to your face. you’re filled with an incredible feeling of warmth because of satoru’s obvious adoration for you. pure content.
he lets out a breathy laugh at your cute, flustered expression. he pulls you in for a hug again and presses your head against his chest, “heh, no, i should thank you for trusting me. i love you s’much.”
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#jjk fluff#gojo satoru x reader#gojo fluff#gojo x you#jjk x you#gojo x y/n#jjk x y/n#divider by @/cafekitsune
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