#i like butch lesbians hey have i mentioned today that i like butch lesbians? i like butch lesbia- *gets tranquilized*

[jelliebeanbitch]

.

[falsebooles123]

Car Trouble and a Full Scredule - Diary of a Big Ole Gay - 3/26/23

Hey Whores, I'm back after what feels like a ridicolous long week.

Let Me get into it. Monday morning my second kitchen job cuts my hours because they got a new guy. He seems pretty Chill, Then both the business meetings and date I had planned on monday got reschreduled for the middle of the week. My car has been acting up so I had to deal with the stress of driving a ticking time bomb that I don't know whats wrong with it to work because I need the money. and my scredule changed again friday like a couple hours before work. That was when I set up my second checking and spent a bunch of money because my bills had already came out. It was like 40 bucks but y'know what I deserved to treat myself. Also this was the weekend so not only did we have a shitshow of a friday prime rib night dinner but I also got to finally do a dinner service on the line. The fact that they have a bonified dishwasher now instead of just recreating that thing were your mom passive-aggresively bitches about the dishes because no one else will wash them.

(I'm the mom in this context, also this was the only gif I could find that didn't give people seizures or was literally porn.)

so I had a lot going on. I also watched a bunch of TV and did manage to catch a few films since the last week we did this.

Caged! (1950) dir. John Cromwell

Some people have called this this the Godmother of the Women in Prison movies and you wouldn't be remised to notice its DNA in later films and shows like Orange is the New Black.

I talked about it in a lot more depth on Letterboxd so I'll try my best to summerize.

First the movie is about a young ingenue named marie who is sent to an all-women prison on trumped up charges, the film makes a point to discuss the cruelity from the prison guards, including the trunchbullian Matron Harper, the lack of resources for the prisoners, and how oftentimes this type of uncivil atmosphere and lack of real resources to reintergrate them into society cause most of these women to return or in marie's case enter into a life of crime.

Luckily we have fixed all these issues in the prison system and thats totally not the same issues we have today /s

As I have said this is the Proto-Woman in Prison film, perhaps the ur-WIP movie and thus the question is raised.

What About The Lesbians!!!!????

So first I will say that this film is not textually queer, Marie is not eating kitty the second she gets into lockup but the film I will say has a queer sensibility.

I'm just going to quote my Letterboxd Review.

"and the answer is probably. I've haven't read the book that this is based on so I can't tell you if Kellog talked about it but this is a womens prison honey we can guess. We have to remember that this is in the middle of the haes code and so you couldn't have a character just be like, "hi, I like women". That being said there are a few choice lines that hint at that kind of thing. Kitty mentions that after awhile "You don't even think about men, you just fall out of the habit", a newspaper discusses prison immorrality, which probably is reffering to like gambling and smoking cigerettes but might hint at a more siturational inversion so to speak. 

Outside of these supposed oblique references there is the culteral queerness of it. The aestetic aspect of queer coding. First there is obviosly a lot of butchness about this film. we have just a fuckton of these butch tops in this film from Kitty(Betty Garde), Elvira (Lee Patrick) to the trunchbullian Everlyn Harper (Hope Emerson), to even the prison warden Benton (Agnes Moorehead). they all have this kind of dominant aggression to them. This masculinization. 

And this trope continues, Marie has her head shaved at a crucial part of the film and there is the repeated motif of the women doing rollcall were they have to speak there last names first, Marie Allen, now being called ALLEN, marie. Its literally patronymic. 

On one hand we can absoulutely interpret this trope as a comment on how prison dehumanized women, talking away there individality especially there vanity. The social way that they are able to express themselves. And this is emphasized a lot actually, the gift of lipstick at christmas, the head shaving, the fact that Marie asks for a brush during her mugshot and the guard quips back, "why theres no men here".

And I think its important to recognize that this type of dehumanization is different from mens prisons because our sense of vanity is different. A man can affirm his gender by getting jacked in prison but a women can't affirm herself along traditional feminity the system is designed in a certain way to masculinize that experience. In some small sense the very notion of a womans prison is a queer space outside of its constuct as a gynocentric space. 

(note: prison cosmetology is absolutely a thing and women perform a lot of amazing feats of ingenuity, from like tattoing on eyebrows to making makeup out of magazine ink and deoderant but note that these are ways of subverting a system not a byproduct of that system)

Even if we except the trope of a womans prison as a non-normative gendered space its also important to notice that one of the main conflicts in this film is not just between trunchbully Harper and her cruality against Marie, but also between the power struggle of "Corrupting" Marie by the hands of Evelyn and Kitty, who both want her to join there crime syndicate. Marie at one points says "If I said No to Kitty why would I say yes to you". Both of these characters are maternal in a sense but they also take on a very lesbian coding. Evelyn makes a point to gift the women feminine products for christmas, (makeup and a handmirror). In a straight lens its another commentary on femeninity and Evelyns power in the system through a queer lens its almost courtship. This is the type of thing you could buy your girlfriend as a present. In some ways A Life of Crime and Criminal Gayness are symbolic analogs to each other"

Honestly if you were a fan of Orange is the New Black or just like Butch Crime Donnas then this is a pretty good time. Another one of those "This is honestly not that gay but it was an absolute iconic piece of cinema so thank you" movies.

Tea and Sympathy (1956) dir Vincente Minnelli

This was one of those films that took me like a week to watch.

So I've quoted vito russo like 15 times at this point so let me just summerize the vibe. Basically theres a guy in this movie whose a sissy, he dances, he's in theater, he even sews. Wow, what a faggot. and none of the other boys want him to play in their raindeer games because he threatens there fragile masculinity. What I'm saying is that the first half of this TWO HOUR FILM, is just him being bullied for being a sissy.

I'm also saying this shit was highly triggering as both a cocksucker and a limp-wrist soyboy.

(oh god I just had a truamatic flashback were a church mom and her daughter were mocking me for being a limp-wrist faggot and I didn't understand why they asked me to do the limp wrist gesture. and so i'm just puzzled at this random gesture they wanted me to reinnact while my father is just visable angry sitting besides me. Honestly first fuck them and also my dad might be a homophobic asshole but at least he had the decency to never call me a slur.)

so childhood truama and complicated relationship with my father aside after we get through the very long and insuffrable queer misery porn we get to the actually fun part of the movie where there are HORNY MILFS. HORNY MILFS IN YOUR AREA.

THESE WOMAN WANT TO FUCK! NO CREDIT CARDS! HOOKUPS ONLY! CLICK NOW!!!!

yeah basically this movie is two hours of this guy making moves on his landlords wife while the guy is out hanging out with a bunch of twinks.

as I said in my extremly long write-up on the topic. T&S is absolutely a good film in showcasing what this type of homophobia and toxic masculinity is like and it was controversal for a reason but I also want to recognize that as a queer person this shit was hard to sit through.

so for a bit of fun yet another LB quote.

Because this shit is true to life. It feels very reminescent of my own experiences with homophobia. The kind that is more subtle and exclusionary and so while this is a objectively subversive and provokative film. I'm still going to relegate it to "Things I'm making Straight People watch during pride month while I leave the room". Its a double feature with brokeback mountain. Whats that.... thats four hours of Queer Misery Porn. Well too damn bad. Maybe if you stopped sharing those proto-terf facebook memes we could have watched Cruising or Rocky Horror. Sit Down, Shut Up, and relive my childhood trauma and daddy issues straiggot.

The Strange One (1957) dir. Jack Garfein

One of the weirdest episodes of Haze Him I've ever seen.

Jokes aside The Strange One is basically this drama set at a military academy. Person with a real name. Jocko De Paris, (I'm not making that up), is basically one of those rich assholes who is also criminal insane. He manipulates a group of other cadets into getting a guy expelled for being drunk.

Why did he do this. Well if you believe morissey (yes that Morissey), its because Paris is a little bit of a closet queen.

This film is weirdly homoerotic for no discernable reason. The queerness of the characters have nothing to do with it the director was like I'm going to make a movie with deep ideas about the nature of evil and tyranny and also everyones going to kind want to suck dick.

Another one of those films thats honestly kinda slow but I still think about the visuals.

Everything Else I Watched This Week

oof ok I finished Re: Mind, loved it messy moe drama made no goddamn sense would watch again.

Tried to watch Circus of Fear which is a Rialto Crime Movie but not one of the Krimi Films. Also Really Boring.

Also binged the second season of carole and tuesday. I loved it, the shows not perfect but I had so much fun with it.

I also saw Free Guy which.... was fun. I'm sorry but not every blockbuster is going to be worth adding to the Falseboolesey Hall of Fame. Also its like a second-rate Lego Movie which is without any irony. A modern Classic.

(this is non-negotiable. The lego movie is a deep introspection on the apollian vs dionysian drives, an exploration of childhood and adult perspectives and are fear of the joy of choas. It also may literally be cladestine Agritprop)

I also tried to have a Falsebooles123 Kinema movie night. I watched Grandma's Boy which people mention a lot as the prime example of like the sissy trope but honestly I don't remember anything about the film. I kinda just blanked out.

anyway whores. I have an entire week off starting tomorrow so its going to be a lot of editing, yard work, and doing some prep stuff for april which will be so busy. I'm excited through. I'm also very close to watching all the films I could find in the internet archive so theres that. woot woot.

[sweettoothedtrickster13]

Image ID under the cut

[A series of tweets. The original thread is by at Unicorn March and reads, in plain text and broken up for readability:

My very butch ace lesbian friend just said, "I'm not sure, but my barista might be flirting with me."

I'm expecting to hear banter. Something that sounds like flirting, but has plausible deniability.

No.

The woman BROUGHT HER A STUFFED ANIMAL FROM DISNEYLAND.

Please help me.

I am autistic, aroace, and 75 miles away, and EVEN I KNOW THIS WOMAN WAS FLIRTING WITH HER.

I have explained to her that she needs to ask the woman out. Neither of us knows how to do such a thing. Someone please explain it to us.

(If it helps, the woman is actually the store manager. Don't worry, I'm not sure what difference that makes, either.)

The other tweets are replies to this thread. The first is by Amy Noseworthy. The tweet reads:

A girl once came from another cuty with a DVD boxed set of a show I mentioned I'd like to see, watched so many episodes with me that it was "too late to go home", then slept in my bed as I laid awake thinking "she's so great, it's really too bad she doesn't like me back."

The next tweet is by at QueenAlikune and reads:

My partner pinned me to a wall and kissed me all over before we were together and I was still over here "I wonder if she likes me back?"

The next tweet is by at give underscore me underscore bells. The tweet reads:

"I think she is flirting with me."

"Oh? How do you know."

"She bought me a stuffed animal from Disney Land."

"Yeah...that's pretty on-the-nose flirting."

"I don't know, could just be very nice."

week rolls by

"Hey, so she gave me a spare key to her apartment today, is that fli"

The next tweet is by at malinicorrea and reads:

That's not flirting that's like nineteenth century courting.

The next tweet is by at elrinaflies and reads:

A guy once hand bound a notebook for me full of all my favorite things and including little stories about outings we'd had and I thought "Awww. What a nice friend." The obliviousness was strong so I find your friend super relatable.

The next tweet is by Ale hashtag Hay Ley Trans that reads:

"Is she just being nice to me?" "Did she buy stuffed animals to all the people she likes?" are questions that'd pop up in my head.

The next tweet is by neilchambers dot bsky dot social and reads:

Before I asked my bf out, he invited me to stay at his, asked if he could kiss me when he picked me up from the station, then got this ' ' close to cuddling in his bed with me (he slept in the spare room) and the whole time I was like 'wow if only he liked me back.'

The final tweet is by Gege Akutami's Mortal Enemy and reads:

Reminds me of that one time I went to a house party and one of the girls glued herself to me, I'm talking pulling my hand to have a snack together, sitting super close with her hand rubbing my knee and clinging to my arm. Whole time I was like "wow, she's really friendly!"

End image ID]

[yrbutchgf]

I’d really like to call myself butch but I’ve been told by so many people it’s a lesbian only term so I’m not sure who to believe

hi anon! sorry this took so long, i wanted to get some links together for you. short answer is: yes, you can call yourself butch. this is a misconception that's very popular on this site, but butch and femme are variably used terms; they originated in ballroom culture, where they are used to refer to people of all genders and sexualities, partially in conjunction with drag and partially independently.

in terms of lesbian bar culture with butch and femme, the term "bi" took a while to enter the lexicon, and a lot of the women involved in lesbian bar culture were actually bisexual, if largely closeted about as much. in fact, stereotypes of the time held that femmes were bisexual. obviously there's complexity to this and the term lesbian today refers to women who only love other women, but for a long time, lesbian as a term essentially meant what we would call today women-loving women. in this way, bisexual women have been involved in butch/femme bar culture since its inception.

the long answer is, you should definitely, definitely read the following links,

because other people have explained everything much better than i ever could. ik there's a lot of them and some of them are pretty long, but they're extremely informative, so i can't stress enough how much i recommend giving them a click.

this link in particular is the most comprehensive of the bunch, and also includes links to other posts with even more information on the subject: https://biexboyfriend.tumblr.com/post/624568519114309632/authoratmidnight-smallswingshoes

here's a post with a bunch of historical quotes about butch/femme both for wlw and mlm: https://mediumkravitz.tumblr.com/post/627265503395758080/this-used-to-be-a-part-of-this-post-but-i. in particular, i will highlight leslie feinberg's quote, since ze's my butch idol:

"And I would say that people who were referred to as drag queens, [sh*m*les], female impersonators, drag kings, diesel [d-slur]s, butches, et cetera, uh… Nowadays we think of them sometimes as just being synonymous with a certain kind of sexuality, but in fact there’s a lot of butch women who sleep with other butches, or who are bisexual, and the same thing is true with feminine men."

here's a few shorter ones about bi women and butch/femme:

https://bakerybutch.tumblr.com/post/618787731703775232/hey-i-saw-the-bi-woman-using-butchfemme-post-you

https://bakerybutch.tumblr.com/post/617209719637082112/bihetero-butch-im-tired-of-seeing-posts

https://bakerybutch.tumblr.com/post/617576206001389568/its-interesting-to-me-that-a-lot-of-posts-about

here's one about butch/femme & its links to ballroom culture as well as polari: https://biexboyfriend.tumblr.com/post/623474852739923968/wait-you-mentioned-saying-that-butchfemme-are

https://yrbutchgf.tumblr.com/post/626452044841107456/fluoresensitive-hm-it-aggravates-me-when-white

and here's another one about butch & mlm: https://bakerybutch.tumblr.com/post/633331651325329408/from-motorcycle-leathers-and-the-construction-of

if you would like to join a discord server that is explicitly inclusive of all lgbt people under butch and fem/femme identities, click here for more information. i'm in this server, it's great.

just read the rules first, and then join. we’d love to have you.

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hey patty! I dont belive we've met, but you are looking amazing today/night! Just as a reassurance, you are not out of rowan's league. I know her and she is very much head over heels for you, because you're amazing! Enjoy yourself, take chances (if you want, no pressure) and know your limits! Your fabulous, beautiful and smart, and are very much worthy for rowan, if not more 🐌🕸

Patty woke up all groggy the next morning. Everything was blurry as she opened her eyes. Someone must have taken her glasses off after she fell asleep. She had barely even gotten halfway through the movie before she had passed out.

It took a bit more before she realized her body was laying between Rowan's legs and her head was leaned against her lover's chest. One of Ro's hands were placed against her back, the other was calmly stroking through her hair. She had her head turned up to look at someone else. Her voice was a bit hushed as she said goodbye to the person. The person leaned in for a quick kiss and hug before leaving.

"Oh looks like lil miss princess on the pea decided to wake up" Rowan murmured as she noticed Patty's big blue eyes peering up at her.

"Good morning honeypie" Patty yawned back.

"I love your morning voice. It's so deep and growly and beautiful"

"Wake me up early enough and I could be a radio host from the 60′s"

Rowan leaned her head back to laugh at that. She pressed a kiss to her lover's forehead before carefully untangling herself and moving up from the couch. Patty found her glasses on a pillow on the floor by the couch. When she put them on she noticed just how empty the apartment had become. There had been people cuddled up all around her when she'd fallen asleep but by now there were just a few people left, saying goodbye to Rowan or putting on their jackets. A few people said goodbye to Patty as well.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Remus peaking his head out from the bedroom. When he saw Janus sitting on another couch with a stranger's arm around their shoulder he quickly closed the door again.

(Janus had just fallen fool to the age old mistake of a butch lesbian mistaking them for an androgynous sapphic, while they had mistaken the lesbian for a handsome man with soft features. They were both he/theys. Within the next 5 minutes they would both realize their mistakes and awkwardly try to leave the conversation)

Patty jumped a little when she suddenly heard your voice. She glanced around before exclaiming.

"DICKENS??? GHOSt of christmas future??? Hello??"

When you continued she let up into an easy going smile again. When you complimented her looks her smile brightened and she grabbed onto the ends of her dress and moved it so it looked like it was sorta twirling even if she was still sitting down.

"Aww thanks kiddo! I see that you're just a normal ghost now!"

The last few guests left the apartment as Patty curled up in the corner of the couch to listen to you better. She noticed Remus sneaking out of the bedroom and waving good morning to the menorah before tackling Janus from behind to jumpscare them.

Patty's eyes lit up at your words "Really? You really think she isn't out of my league? She- She's been to the MET gala!!! The oscars!! I still don't get why she's 'head over heels for me' as you said" She rubbed her hands against her cheeks while pressing her eyes close to get your message in "BUT I believe you!! I got to believe it! Ghosts never lie!"

Behind her an epic battle was going on where Janus and Remus where helping Rowan out of the incredibly extravagant light blue velvet dress (with big puffy shoulders and embroidered roses and everything) she'd slept in. Before helping her off with her tights and trying to take out the dozens of pins that was holding her hair up. Not to even mention all the trinkets of jewelry she'd put into her hair to make it look fancy.

“Ohohoh thanks for the flattery Ghostie! You’re right! I am fabulous! I am smart! I am worthy of her!! even if she is Very cool” She squirmed a little in her seat “Maybe....maybe I should just talk to her about what’s bothering me- Oh but not today! She just had a party and all! I would ruin the whole day!”

Her babbling got cut off as the screen on her phone lit up with a message from Logan.

💙🤖💙: Good morning honey. I found a very “pog” rock on the way to work. Can’t wait to show it to you when you get home. I hope the party went well *insert smiley face here*

Patty put on a concentrated face “I forgot the most important part of a poly relationship. Communication!!! I can do this! I can talk to her!! I summon the power of the ghosts and my Logie!! I can do this! I can talk! I’ve been talking for years!!”

She stood up and straightened out her dress. Janus was helping the twins to gather all of the left behind plates and cutlery from the long table where everyone had eaten. Rowan was just about to pick up a huge stack of plates when Remus stopped her.

“Jannie can take those. Please” He said.

Rowan gasped “OH! OH! So now I’m Weak??? I’m a helpless maiden!! I can’t even pick up plates you tonto!! Tú eres más estupido que el culo de muno, bitc-”

“Pero! Pero! Pero! El es incredible buen cuando sus musculos son usada!”

Rowan’s expression went neutral “Can’t argue against that” She fanned herself “Oh woe me! I forgot all of my muscles are broken right now since I defeated a giant dragon!!”

Janus was a little confused “Oh uhm sure”

They rolled up their sleeves and picked up the stack. Remus had a wide grin on his lips as his eyes were glued to Jan’s muscles showing through the outline of their button up. He kept shoving stacks to them to pick up while letting out increasingly obvious sighs, as if leaning his cheeks against his hands while his eyes was one step away from escaping his sockets wasn’t enough.

“Is that all?” Janus asked afterwards.

“Sadly yes” Remus sighed back. 

“Do you need help with the dishes? I mean it’s the least I can do after-”

Rowan waved them off “Oh shush. Go spend time with your ultra cachondo novio”

“Uhm. I don’t understand spanish, sorry”

“It means gremlin”

Remus had gone red “It does not!!!”

“Right, it actually means-”

“Silencio!!”

Rowan laughed and rolled her eyes before going out into the kitchen. Remus continued to look like a tomato as he asked Janus if they wanted to play video games to distract them.

Patty took a deep breathe. She imagined a ghost- or maybe a snail demon- pushing her forward. She stumbled into the kitchen and saw her lover in the middle of putting on a red robe before attempting to stuff her hair into a bonnet.

She shone up when she saw her lover. She pulled Patty closer and jokingly dipped her to make her kissing more romantic “Mi estrella! Did you enjoy the party? I hope you didn’t feel forgotten in the crowd” Ro said while cupping her cheeks.

“No. No dear. It was great, I promise. Even if it wasn’t my type of music”

“Oh right. I forgot my lil Patty only listens to anime music or dad rock”

“The two genders!”

Rowan laughed at that as well. She thought every joke her lover said was the most hilarious thing ever, that could just be the crush speaking though. 

She moved to the sink and picked up the first plate and thoroughly washed it. She moved to take the towel to dry it off but Patty was already holding the towel and was holding out her hand. Rowan wordlessly handed the plate over, and to Patty’s surprise, she blushed.

They sunk into a comfortable routine of Ro washing and Patty drying. Every now and then Patty would let out a pun that would make her lover laugh so much she nearly dropped whatever she holding. And sometimes Patty laughed at her lover’s attempts at singing the songs from the new disney movie they’d seen yesterday. Even though she only remembered about half the words, except for the song sung by the strong sibling about pressure which she had somehow already memorized.

Every time their hands brushed against one another Ro let up into such a bright lovestruck smile it made Patty’s insides turn all gooey. 

Patty had turned to put a few forks into one of the cabinets. She felt arms snake around her waist and a chest being pressed against her back. Rowan had soaked her hand in bubbles from the sink.

“BOOP!” She exclaimed while bopping her finger to Patty’s nose so she got a bunch of bubbles on it.

“Wow!! A boop! The greatest form of flattery!”

“I know right!?”

Rowan spun her around so Patty’s back got leant against the cabinet. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to her nose before kissing her lips. She closed her eyes and grinned but slowly moved back when she noticed Patty not kissing back.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No...No....” Patty gulped “I just....Yesterday at the party..I saw that you kept kissing other people-”

“OH Dear! I’ve gotten too used to everyone in my friend group knowing we just casually kiss like that I forgot I hadn’t told you! I’m sorry! I promise it’s not romantic! We just- I just love my friends so much! And I love kissing and affection and passion and- And my friends!! We see each other so rarely it’s just nice to show our affection as much as possible and uh I’ve dated like half of them so it feels natural. Oh honey!!! I’m sorry!! Do you want me to stop kissing them?”

Patty’s eyes went huge as she flapped her hands around and shook her head “NO! Absolutely not! I get it! I’ve kissed Janus and that doesn’t change anything about our platonic friendship! I just wanted you to tell me that!”

“Phew. Glad that got sorted out then. Sorry”

Ro’s shoulders slumped down as she relaxed with her arms leaned on either side of the sink behind her lover. Patty met her eyes and gently brushed her thumb over her lips.

“Your passion is what I love most about you okay? I would never ask you to change any part of that. I’ve never met anyone who puts as much passion into everything as much as you do! My husband is the closest one but he only puts that much passion into his interests, or me! I love how much thought you put into every outfit you wear! I love how you always greet me with a kiss! I love how you sing so confidently even though uhm we both know it’s not objectively good singing!”

Rowan let up into a soft smile and it took a few seconds before she managed to get out a small “aww mi corazón”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Of course”

Patty nervously changed her footing “Why....Why did you correct people every time they called med your girlfriend? I understand if you wanted to talk it out with me before officially becoming girlfriends, you just sounded so....sure”

Rowan’s smile disappeared. Her expressions turned just as stale as her movements. She moved to sit on top of the counter. Her hands picked at the lace of her robe as she thought of how to explain it.

“Not to sound awfully cliche but it has really nothing to do with you. I’ve just never had a girlfriend”

“You literally said a few minutes ago that you’ve dated like half of those people at the party” Patty replied. She didn’t mean for it to sound judgy.

“Well those have been my lovers. They haven’t been my girlfriends”

“I mean this very sincerely, please explain”

Rowan let out a sigh before responding “All of them have been people like me. They’ve all been constantly traveling for work or for their hobbys or for whatever. I would never imagine I would be with someone who” She motioned towards Patty’s ring “Who would settle down and get married before 35, or get married at all. No offense. Having a relationship feels so serious if you get me. It takes time and effort and while I had effort I had no time and neither did my lovers. I suppose it got easier to not put a label on it. To just call each other lover and dear and sweetheart and go on dates whenever we would run into each other and never cry when we had to be away for months on end. Sometimes I would have more than 5 lovers at the same time- which they all knew and consented to obviously. I can’t honestly say I’m done with any of those old lovers at the party either. When we meet again someday maybe it will be one of those moments and I will call them my lover again before the spark fades back into platonic adoration. I dunno...it just became so easy to push all of those feelings of confusion and worry that comes with a serious relationship away...I never had to...miss anyone....regret anything....they could just be my lover who I could leave when I had to and who I could be left by”

Patty lightly crossed her arms in thought “So...Basically...You’re just having trouble with commitment?”

“UUUUHHH yeh”

“Oh. Oh that’s fine! I was worried you thought lesser of me or would break up with me or-”

“Patty I would never think lesser of you!! Not even if an evil witch put a spell on my heart! I swear on my brother’s life!”

“Wow. Thanks”

“But really!! My dearest Patty! My moonstruck lil pie! My cheery on top of an ice cream! You’re so special to me!! I just said it! I never thought I would be with someone who would get married before 35! And yet! Here I am! IN my kitchen! Doing the dishes!!! With you!!”

Patty sighed “Yeah...I know I’m a bit boring next to your other lovers”

“Are you KIDDING me??? You’re extraordinary! We just washed the dishes!! I’ve never done that with any of my other lovers! It’s great!! I got to spend time with you!! And we barely even had to speak! We could just BE with each other!! And do normal everyday stuff!! But it became fun???? Because I was with you!! And I love you!! It was so- so hmmm what’s the word?”

“Domestic?”

“YES! Is this why you’re staying with Logan?? Because of how domestic this stuff is??”

She snorted “Oh I think I’m staying with Logan for quite a lot of reasons”

“OH! I think I get it now really!” Rowan pulled Patty closer so she was standing between her thighs and so their faces were only a few inches apart “You’re so so out of my world, my dear. When I saw you at that halloween party you stood out so clearly. You had that basic ghost costume but your big ass ponytails were sticking out of the sheet and it was just so adorable. And then the first thing you said to me was a cow pun. You have to get how interesting of a first impression that is”

“It was kind of cute I guess”

Rowan lit up “And then when I asked you to pull off the ghost costume so I could see you, your head was bright red from blushing. And you were gorgeous. And you immediately said a second cow pun!”

“I don’t even remember saying that. I was too starstruck”

“Well I remember! Because that struck right through my heart. Oh my darling I instantly fell in love”

Patty blushed “Really? A cow pun did it?”

“Of course!! And everything else you did afterwards. Even while tipsy you stopped on the way to my apartment to guide a slug back into the grass. The morning after you kissed every single hickey on my thighs. You cut the carrots into hearts when you make stew!! You have like 5 different calendars just because you couldn’t choose which puppy calendar to get!!”

“You remember all those details?”

“Of course I do!! I love you!! Don’t your other partners remember that stuff?”

“Obviously yes. But uhm...you’re Rowan....I assumed you had more important stuff to remember”

Rowan rolled her eyes before nuzzling their noses together “You’re important to me”

Patty moved her hands on top of Rowan to hold her as close “You know dearie? I’ve had my fair share of long distance relationships. With poly involved sometimes you just don’t see some of your partners for a while. So if it’s the distance that’s holding you back from calling me your girlfriend you really don’t have to worry about it. Me and my 5 puppy calendars will be here waiting for you, I promise. And between that I’ll call you as much as you want me to”

“You sure? I haven’t told anyone because I didn’t want to ruin the party but already in a few days- since I’ve barely been working this year because of Remus- my agent scheduled me in to fly out and film a hetero christmas movie-”

“Oh wow. Sorry the irony struck me”

“It’s okay. And right after that I have another much longer project already planned. I could be away for months!”

“Then it’ll be that much sweeter when you are here”

“But sometimes I get anxious about trusting people! It took me ages until I saw a man for who he really was and by then he’d hurt my brother so sometimes I get really Really scared about people lying to me! Sometimes I want to crawl down under a giant mansion hidden behind a waterfall to hide my feelings!”

“Then we’ll work through that”

“But sometimes the paparazzi won’t leave me alone! And they love to photograph the people I’m with so if you’re not famous you’ll suddenly be forced into that world! I don’t want that for you!”

“My Logan has dropkicked several people for me. I will do the same for you”

Rowan pressed her face against Patty’s shoulder while pulling her as close as possible “Oh my Patty. My sweet Patty”

Patty gently moved her hand up and down her lover’s back “It’s okay. There’s no rush. You don’t even have to call me your girlfriend, I’m okay with being your lover. I just wanted to know why”

“I do want to. You’re special Patty, I want to call you my girlfriend. But it’s like- it’s like at the end of a knight’s travel when they’ve defeated the dragon and everything seems fine but then they realize they have to do a leap of faith as well. You have to understand why that’s scary”

“I understand, but it’s still just the change of a word”

“No!! If I call you my girlfriend I won’t be able to stop myself from missing you!! Because you’ll be my girl!!! It’s a very big change!!”

Patty chuckled “Okay then I’ll send you so many cat videos every day you won’t even have a chance to miss me. Thought it is still your choice, I won’t try and convince you into something you don’t feel ready for”

Rowan let out a groan and puffed up her cheeks like a frog to show how hard she was thinking.

“I mean” Patty got that special grin “Whatever you tell me, no matter the outcome, it won’t make you a COWard!”

It took a second before Rowan let up into a wave of giggles. It was one of those relieved laughs as she leant her head back. She pulled Patty into a long but gentle kiss.

“Mi amado! You genius sweet wonderful beautiful bastard!! How could I ever not want you as my girlfriend!? As long as you want Me as your girlfriend???”

Patty shone up like the sun on the hottest day of June. She couldn’t stop herself from letting out an excited squeak “OF COURSE I WANT YOU AS MY GIRLFRIEND! You silly goose!!!”

Rowan jumped down from the counter and shimmied out of excitement while taking both of Patty’s hands in hers. She twirled her girlfriend (!!) around in a sort of dance while they both let out a mix of nearly incomprehensible giggling and babbling. 

“AHH! I have a girlfriend!!” Rowan was running in place because she literally could not stand still for even a second right now “I have to put on romantic music!! And dance for hours like Belle!! And Buy you chocolate! And a big bouquet of flowers!! And take you out to a restaurant! And kiss! And-”

“Ro! Ro! Ro!”

“Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?”

Patty squeezed her hands “Honey, remember to breathe”

Rowan sucked in a big breathe like a pufferfish and nodded “Right. Good advice. Can’t celebrate this fabulous occasion if I’m passed out. OH I HAVE TO WRITE A SONNET! AND MEMORIZE SHAKESPEARE AGAIN!”

She let go of Patty for just a moment to run over to the kitchen door. She opened it and yelled out into the living room.

“DUKEY!!! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW!”

“GREAT! I’M KILLING ZOMBIES!” 

She slammed the door shut and turned back to her girlfriend. Patty moved in to kiss her again and Rowan took the chance to lift her by the waist and spin her around as they kissed.

“Oh but mi amore we have to celebrate!!” Rowan exclaimed as she sat her down “No telling me it’s not worth celebrating!! Just because you’ve had a bunch of cool epic fire breathing girlfriends don’t mean we’re all used to having them!”

“Of course we’ll celebrate honey. I will take any excuse to smother my lovely girlfriend in gifts, or a restaurant night, or a theme park visit, or a cinema date or A SPA DAY!! or PETting zoo! or- Oh gosh there’s far too many choices!! It’s making my head spin”

“The spinning could be because you were just spun”

“Fair”

“But yes! You’re right!! Lots to think about. Lots to discuss. Lots of dates to plan. We are becoming Socrates and Plato right in this very moment” Patty replied.

Rowan ran her hands over the satin shoulders of Patty’s dress “You want to take that dress off before continuing this very epic discussion? I mean you did just sleep in it. It gotta be uncomfy by now- even though you look gorgeous. You can loan one of my hoodies if you want”

“I can’t tell if you’re trying to be smooth or if you are genuinely worrying about my dress”

She leant and pressed her soft lips against Patty’s while she slipped the sleeves off the dress away from her shoulders “Can’t it be both”

Patty closed her eyes and kissed her back “I like that option”

[suzuki-violin-school]

BNHA characters as things I've said apparently

So I just learned my friend cow writes down the things I say out of context so I asked if I could see her list and oh god (some of them were over text but they still count)

Masterlist

Content: dumbassery, bad words, queer mentions, idiocy

momo: do whatever you want. at the end of the day, i'm still a lesbian

tamajiki: you call it being an attention whore, i call it having intense social anxiety and needing constant validation from everyone or i'll assume i'm worthless and start crying

deku @ todoroki at the sports fest: cauterize me, daddy

kaminari: do dolphins neigh?

bakugo: I GET TO DROWN A GIRL HAHAHAHAHA

toga: everything's more fun when someone dies

tiger: i'm not like other girls. i'm a boy.

mina: just wanna;;,hit a rat on the head with a shoe

jiro: i'd either survive or be the last to die in a horror film because i'm a butch lesbian

kaminari trying to decipher shakespeare: hamlet, omelet, hempet, trumpet, ham,

bakugo: go piss yourself deku: did- did you mess up 'go fuck yourself' and 'pissboy'? bakugo: did i fucking stutter

kaminari: same tho bro bro head-to-toe cheerio

overhaul: what if you had hands

twice: i've confused in you

todoroki, having just woke up: ...shit. i still didn't die in my sleep?

sero: what's up, twink?

mina: "what is the next way to experience theatre?" idk, shoving it up my ass?

deku: hey, how did you break your arm? for research purposes

bakugo: good job, you killed him!

monoma: i kissed him. and then he died, the end.

kaminari: i now pronounce you bimbo and himbo, you may kiss my ass

deku: you can't keep playing me like a goddamn monopoly board!

bakugo: i just came kirishima: bro moment

kaminari: okie dokie artichokie pepsi cokie mopey dopey

toga: oh yeah btw my dream last night was that i had a giant cock

bakugo: i'm gonna pull your teeth out through your ass

mic: i don't know how many cookies it takes to be happy but so far it's not 57 mic: *vomits* mic: starting over, i see

kaminari: *does a very graceful double fouetté and lands it perfectly* kaminari: i am a god and i rule over you all and this god says fuck you

todoroki: oh... i have to interact with my dad this weekend? todoroki: that's disgusting

deku: look what i can do with my kneecap! deku: *wiggles and then dislocates kneecap* deku, softly: fuck

shigaraki: sorry, but i don't trust you with my emotional baggage. it's designer and i know what you did to that gucci bag you used to have

iida during the stain incident: oh lovely, i seem to be paralyzed from the waist down, what a dilemma iida: since i can't do it, could you please punch that bitch

kaminari trying bakugo's cooking for the first time: you're toxic, i'm slippin under, with the taste- kaminari: -of that curry, my mouth's on fire, get me a glass of milk oh my gOD

twice: roses are red, violence is too, i'm really hungry. fuck you

monoma, about bakugo: i'm going to de-bone him and serve him as a jam

tsu: it takes some honey and a kiss to make something sweet uwu

bakugo: you're dying today, dipfuck

kaminari: is my shoe in my sweater? wait- wait i meant to say is my sock in my pocket sero: how the fuck did you mix that up that bad

iida when deku proposes ideas: won't you get like dead or something tho

twice: flippity flappity fuck

mineta: i have a dick and you can't stop me!

shinso: my brain is making sad beep beeps

monoma: i love being right

deku: i could totally drown you in my tears, no problem!

kaminari: i made up an instrument in my dream, it's one of those sticks you get at the dollar tree that goes NYOOO NYAAA when you tip it and one of those stress-balls-on-a-string taped to one end so you can smack it around like FWAP FWAP NYOOO FWAP NYAAA FWAP FWAP FWAP

shigaraki: the time the void of sleep next decides to consume my waking body is entirely up to the gods

bakugo: i'm gonna suck your eyes out with a straw like boba outta milk tea

momo: don't be such a bucket of stones

kaminari, short circuiting: jelly colon and reginald turpin

deku: sadness is all i eat

mineta: i don't deserve to think

bakugo: i don't care if God's a man or a woman, i'm shoving my foot up their ass either way!

mina: 100% organic maneater

kaminari: go suck a dick with your butt

monoma: shut up you dirty microwave

mic: hey ho, daddio

dabi: i can hardly meet my own expectations, what the hell makes you think i can meet yours

bakugo: eat lead!

kaminari short circuiting: pi, oovd vsg tmrsg hr gzsg r pmrsg zmrm gstrn oorgh vpro vn? V H Z V O K K O V S ...t

=

Taglist: (Want to be added? Fill this out!) @dompubliczn @izuushi @kirishibaby @nightwingsgirl @devilgirlcrybabiey @sageyrage @adminbryantsaki @romancefiend @patchworkpuzzle @jodrawssmut @a-mongoose @dearestdynamight

[watching-constellations]

Brielle is currently on rehab after her injections. Turns out with two people, a lunge line, a couple mls of ace, and a few semi-blasphemous prayers, she acts just like a normal horse! My hopes are very guarded with her right now because this horse normally bucks like a goddamned rodeo champ on a whim, and she's really good at breaking herself, but hey, everyone's alive so far.

Enter stage left: Eva. Eva is approximately seventeen hands of angry. She's been described to me as, "a butch lesbian with a lot of baggage who's ready to uhaul with you on the first date, but she's also going to scream at you all the time, and she'll probably bully you for fun— just don't get into it with her, and you'll be fine!". Eva had a baby a few years ago, and immediately tried to kill it. She is absolutely prepared to take out the barn staff if she deems them inconvenient. Great start. Eva hasn't yet decided if I'm the help or target practice, but I'm holding out for "friend".

Now, Eva hasn't been ridden in about two months after a bout of cellulitis, and she's hardly been turned out. And, as I was informed, she also has horse PTSD because someone decided to beat the shit out of her while she was getting started. She hates basically everyone and everything, and she might buck you off at the mounting block. Oh yeah, and did I mention she's only six years old?

Naturally, Eva is my new project, because there's something deeply wrong with me and I should probably up the dosage of my antidepressants again I have a soft spot for mean, scary, troubled horses. Bonus points if they happen to be seal bays with devil horn ears, thick manes and tails, and tiny stars... which she is. And good lord, this horse is mean as hell. If Brielle is still lame and/or still bucking in May or June, Eva's owner is willing to consider a trade of Eva for Brielle because Eva's owner and breeder is terrified and refuses to ride her, and she can't even be bred because she's such a terrible mother. It's not like she's that bad to ride. Sure, she bucks a little, and she's anxious, but I've seen worse. It's just that she deserves better.

I had my second ride on her today. My plan is simple: I'm going at her pace. There's no punishment, and nothing bad is going to happen to her. I don't care what the hell she does, I'm just going to find a way to make it turn out okay. She's getting treats and praise and ease, and we'll take it day by day. It's therapy. As best as I can figure out how to give therapy to a gigantic, angry mare, anyway. My friend helped me with today's ride, and after going for a while, she said, "You know, maybe you won't love her, maybe you won't need her. But maybe this horse needs you. She might need you."

And, heaven help me, I remember being fourteen years old and terrified. I remember my PTSD diagnosis at sixteen. I remember running away in the night at seventeen, anything to escape just for a little while. I remember how hard I worked and how hard I tried to survive, how my academic success and willingness to try became the thing that saved me. I know what I needed then. I don't know if I'm going to have Eva for a couple months, or if it'll be longer. All I know is that I know what I needed when I was younger, and when I look at her, I see me, too.

After our ride today, Eva stopped trying to kick me. She licked my hands, and seemed disappointed when I had to leave. Against my will, there's a connection forming here.

So tldr; for the foreseeable future, I will be risking life and limb going on stupid glorified pony rides as I try to convince these two dumbasses that keeping the human in the saddle is a really good idea.

Probably pray for me or send good thoughts or make offerings to the equine gods or whatever, I don't even know, man.

What's better than one neurotic, homicidal warmblood mare? TWO neurotic, homicidal warmblood mares!

[kaijugroupy]

Butch4butch story chapter 10: Liquid Courage

This chapter was immensely fun to write. Thank you everyone who’s been reading this series. If you have the time, tell me what you think! Just a reminder that Books and Lucky are butch lesbians that use he/ him pronouns. Rye is non binary and uses they/them pronouns. There are some new characters in this chapter, and they are addressed with their preferred pronouns (he/him fo one and she/her, they them for the other) Please enjoy. 

TW: Drinking 

Chapter 10: Liquid Courage 

Fridays were always cause for celebration. Our university didn’t hold classes and Rye and I didn’t have to work unless is was voluntary. Fridays were good days, generally speaking. I watched a collection of sun stream concentrated across my floor. The days prior had been plagued with variations of rain; storms and showers. It was nice to see a turnaround. I knew Rye liked the sun, using any excuse to utilize our deck at the simple mention of fair weather. Today would be good, I thought insistently, stomach twisting. It had to be. I briefly stretched before departing from my bed. I ambled into the sunny hallway, dragging the cut of my nails along the wall in passing. A rosy hue stretched towards my feet, Rye’s door ajar. Their gentle snoring stretched into silence as I carried on into the kitchen. I set some coffee to brew, the machine gurgling to a start. I leaned my weight into the counter, counted the tiles on the floor. There was a stirring in the hall, the steady trudge of footfall accompanied by a groan. Rye emerged, grinning sleepily, hair collected in a swaying mess atop their head.

“Hey, Booger.” They toed my knee with their slipper, hopping up onto the counter. I snorted at the nickname. “I’ll drink all the coffee.” I warned in teasing, watching the pot, nearly dark to the brim. The inky swirl made me nauseous to watch. Rye scooped their mug from the clean side of the sink, drumming their nails along the side impatiently. I poured into it, watching the inside fill and blacken. They hummed, pleased, swinging their legs and inhaling the steam. They seemed awakened by the smell alone, grinning energetically, nearly jostling the liquid. “Are you excitedddd?” They watched my face. I made a concentrated effort not to drop the pot. I gripped the handle, resisting the urge to fidget, smiling through my nerves. “I am.” I returned the pot to the safety of the counter, flexing my fingers. They eyed me over the brim of their cup. 

“What if he doesn’t come?” I blurted suddenly, letting the anxiety seep into my face. They lowered the mug, hovering it in midair, looking down into its contents, contemplative. 

“I will find his truck and slash his tires.” It startled a laugh out of me. It was and wasn’t what I expected to hear. It eased the twist of my stomach, if only a little. They laughed too. I decided that whatever happened today, I would be okay. 

They finished their coffee. Mine stagnated untouched in the pot. We had quite a bit of time before the festivities commenced. I busied myself, tidying my room, touching up a sketch. I was restless. It felt like an eternity, waiting. I scrubbed a hand over my buzz; it bristled dull along my palm. I jumped up from my desk, striding towards the bathroom. I stared in the mirror, pushing a heavy breath out of my mouth. I stole my clippers from under the cabinet, plugging them in. They buzzed to life in my hand like a trapped cicada. The blade trembled along my scalp; I lost myself to their scrape. Afterwards, I cleaned them, returned them to the cabinet. I watched my buzzed hair swirl down the drain. I stood in the shower, watching my feet, scraping my palms against the bristle of my scalp. I heard Rye rustling on the other side of the wall. I emerged from the bathroom and they immediately greeted me in the hall, holding a cosmetic bag the size of my head. I stepped aside, allowing them entrance. They hurried in.

I escaped to my room, closing the door. I rubbed at the water collected on my scalp, cleaned my ears. I tossed the towel to the bed, palming my face. I breathed into my hands, palms humid. I flung them away, making better use of them, searching through my hamper for a clean set of boxers. By some small magic I found my favorite pair. They fitted me well, the material black and stretchy. I yanked them up my legs. I dressed quickly, toeing into a pair of white socks, buttoned into a pair of dark blue jeans. I cuffed them twice, pulling a white tank over my head. It was one of my newer ones, still retained its cling. I looped my chain around my neck, fingers shaking on the clasp.I breathed, scooting down the hall in my socked feet. Rye stood on their toes in front of the sink, primping. I dragged my boots to the couch just as their was a knock at the door. My heart did its best to jostle my ribs. 

“That’s Roy and Valentina!” Rye called from the bathroom, unprepared to welcome our guests. I tied my boots, looping once around each ankle. I was opening the door a moment later. The were perfect opposites, standing in our door frame. Valentina’s lips were a perfect crimson circle that spread into a smile. Roy stood at her side, both hands occupied with a six pack of beer. He nodded, the corner of his mouth quirked. 

“Hey guys.” I greeted, stepping back into the living room, allowing them inside. Valentina’s heels clicked against the floor, leaving a trail for Roy to follow. 

“Hi, darling.” Valentina stroked my cheek in passing, eyes wrinkling with her smile. Roy’s grin stretched his cheeks handsomely, at odds with his crude impersonation. “Hi, darling.” I snickered, driving my fist into his bicep. I closed the door behind them. They were well aquatinted with our home, Valentina was already down the hall. I look to find her propped inside our open bathroom, chatting excitedly to Rye. Their voices wavered, musical. I smiled, fond. Roy set the beers down heavy, the bottles shuffling in their containment. He tore two from the pack, using the opener on his belt to pop the top, tossing me the other. I caught it, snatching me keys from beside the door. It opened with a hiss and I took a lengthy gulp. Roy sat back against the counter, eyeing me. We were fast friends when Rye introduced us my freshmen year. I’d seen him once before though; before I knew Rye. He was positioned on a stool in the Ceramics studio, a spinning wheel between his open thighs. His hands, caked with clay along his knuckles and in his nails, supported a perfectly shaped bowl. Presently, he smiled freely towards me; I buried the memory.

“Anyone else comin’?” He asked, taking a swig, watching Valentina down the hall. I hesitated, flexed my hand around the bottle. “Maybe.” My voice wavered. His eyes were on me instantly, curious. He smiled grinch-like and slow; it was torturous to witness. I groaned, steeling myself for the oncoming horror. “Roy—“ I started, sounding pitiful to my own ears.

“Who’s the lucky fellah?” He interrupted, prodding teasingly, I suffered all the same. Valentina chose that moment to flounce to my rescue, looping an arm around my neck. 

“Is he bothering you?” She pinched her pretty features towards Roy, leaning into my side. He smiled charmingly, feigning innocence. 

“Our boy here was just informing me that we’ll be having another guest.” I took a swig, chugging it miserably. Valentina gasped, her full lips making a pretty ‘O’, tossing her hair in accusation towards Rye’s approaching footsteps. “Who else did you invite?” She demanded. Roy watched my face. I emptied my bottle. Rye approached our circle, smirking. 

“Who indeed.” They eyed me with evil glee. Valentina caught on, turning with an equally devious smile. Roy lifted a brow. I huffed a breath, ready to throw myself at the feet of embarrassment. 

An engine roared outside. I whipped my head in the direction of the window; I couldn’t stop my feet. I was at the door, yanking it open to stand on the deck. Footsteps clambered behind me, but I was watching a near monstrous motorcycle pull into the lot. Our lot. It circled the parked cars, coming to a stop in the row in front of our complex. I stared dumbly. The rider balanced with ease on the bike, kicking out the stand and coaxing it into a lean. Gloved hands reached up to pull the helmet off, leather bound shoulders stretching with the effort. I gaped unblinking at the back of their buzzed scalp. A booted foot swung over the back of the bike, meeting the other on the ground. They turned, the helmet cocked under their arm.

It was Lucky.

[caandlelit]

so theres this girl in the grade below me right??? im Kind Of friends with her bc i saw her and i was like Fuck shes beautiful so obviously i made friends with her really lesbian bts stan friend but didnt have the Balls to start up a friendship with her bc shes beautiful and lovely

so now im super good friends with bts stan lesbian alright . shes chill and we’re tight now. but tragically ive only reaLLY talked to hot girl Once when me and her and lesbian bts stan talked abt taylor swift and other music and i found out her favourite song off of lover is cornelia street and i listened to it on loop since then. this was when lover came out. meaning Months ago

and now i stare at her pathetically from a distance daily and occasionally she graces me with a smile of acknowledgement. im really really tragic ok like

the other day i was talking to lesbian kpoppie (sorry, aRMY) in front of her and after i was done talking to her i turned around and saw her and swallowed the lump in my throat and said ‘h-hey’ and she was so fuckwkdjfhgd. Hot ok. her hair was in twin ponytails for some fucking reason????? its usually open but that day it was tied in twiN PONYTAILS and i was like wHAT THE FUCK and i couldnt speak

 so i blurted out ‘your hair looks really good today’ could i get gayer at this point. ‘looks good’ fUCk off thats so fukcing gay of me ‘looks good’ thats REALLY GAY and she was just like ‘thanks lmaoo <33′ and her smile im 😌🥰🤡

shes just so beautiful ok im . fuck

but the only reason im holding out a hope at this point is bc !! shes bffs with a lesbian man maYBE shes like bi or something !!!!! 

so im talking to some other girl from her grade bc i have a free class and so do some people from her grade (including her!!!!)

and she comes over at some point bc she knows us both

so i start being funnier alright its the obvious reaction and im always more confident when theyres someone else there too

and shes laughing so much and shes so cute and pretty im ,,,

and then we’re talking abt music ok and hot famous people??? and hot girl rants abt how Godly zendaya is for like a minute so im like !!!!!?????

and im being really fuckin funny other girl has her laptop out bc she was writing some essay or some shit and shes looking up pics of celebs we’re talking abt and im being fUNNY she searches bella hadid and i take the laptop and change bella to gigi and give it back and go ‘fixed it for u lol’ and hot girl laughs for a minute an dim swooning

and then other girl opens up a picture of the weeknd and i dIDNT KNOW WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE so i go ‘who the fuck is that’ and hot girl loses her shit and shes so hot and other girl gets so offended and shes like iTS tHe wEEkeND and i go ‘oOOOO FUCK THAT GUY !! nO fuckiN WONDER i didnt know who he was he fUCKIN SUCKS’ and hot girl is basically crying shes so hot bruh i felt like id ascended 🥴

and she was like ‘same i Hate him’ in between laughter and i was like ‘shes the love of my life’ and other girl gets so offended shes sO mad and im on a roll i go ‘well i mean God i was rIGHt in hating him and his Shit music if he looks like tHAT’ and she fc7djsing gets up and leAVES and hot girl immediately takes her place and we talk for ages

we talked for like the whole hour we were both free we talked till literally school ending it was the last few classes anyways

but in between our bonding during which we became great friends and i fell slightly in love with her

she mentioned that she was straight

and like . she talks like a hip twitter stan and . id been hoping she was bi . 

but she was, in retrospect, obviously a chill and very hot ally who was Fantastic but was tragically only attracted to men like She Said That and i literally said out loud ‘well thats a fucking crime what the fuck’ and she laughed but id already gone through all the stages of grief,,,,,,,, like we can be friends but ,,,,,,,,,

i was laying it on thick after that i was straight up flirting with her by the end of the convo like she hUGGED ME before she left and i told her she smells nice and she giggled and said she doesnt know how to respond to compliments and her smile is. the only reward

im gonna be crying abt how shes straight for like a month,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im gonna become a songwriter and im Only gonna write abt how she makes me wanna be a butch but also makes me weak and no thoughts head empty only worship the beautiful girl

so anyways rant over im in mourning peace out <3

[hydra-collector]

early morn i find a home

Part 2/4 of my diner stories series

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Pairings: Platonic Prinxiety

Characters: Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders

TW: self-harm, mentioned abuse, depression

Words: 1,317

Summary: Roman suddenly has a huge problem to deal with, but a waiter’s there to help.

Note: This is probably not realistic. Or maybe it’s just luck.

The diner was silent as Virgil replaced the salt on the last table. He doubted there would be many customers after 2:00 AM, whether it be because it's 2:00 AM or the diner has a 2.5 star rating. He was sure there were a couple other reasons as well.

That's why he jumped when the door's annoying jingle sounded and a teenager around his age walked in. He immediately made his way to the back of the diner, ignoring Virgil.

Was he- crying?

The kid proceeded to sit down at a booth and slam his head onto the table, sobbing into his Letterman sleeves.

Virgil stood a bit shocked, but he'd seen weirder. He set down the salt, half full and made his way to the booth. He pushed down his anxiety. This person obviously needed help.

"Um," he said while sitting down across from the sobbing person before him, "are you okay?"

Stupid question. Of course not.

The boy sobbed harder, and Virgil let him. He soon took off his jacket, revealing blood, bruises and scars on his arms to use the wet Letterman as a pillow.

"Oh my- I'll get something to wrap that-"

The boy weakly objected, but doing so seemed to only make him cry harder. Virgil trembled as he rushed to the back room, fumbling the First Aid kit from its high shelf.

When he returned, the boy was somewhat calmer, but jumped when Virgil tapped him to ask if he could give him his arm. Reluctantly, he held it out and Virgil started wrapping it.

He couldn't help but notice the amount of scars left on this boy's body, and the new deep cuts that would surely make more. He taped the ends and the boy turned his head sideways on the table to look at it.

"Do… you wanna talk?" It felt awkward asking this as a stranger, but he supposed it was the best he could do.

"I-" the boy choked, "I got kicked out," he looked ready to cry again, "of my house, I, I don't have a home, I don't have money, I have nowhere to go, I don't know what to do-"

"Hey, it's, it's okay. Do- do you need food? Have you eaten today?"

"I don't have any money-"

"No, it's okay, don't worry about it."

Virgil gazed at the kid's tear-stained face until he got a slight nod. He proceeded to prepare some bacon and toast (their breakfast was better than anything else) and a milkshake, because even if it wasn't the best milkshake, this kid looked like he could use one.

Virgil brought it over and set it down. The boy started eating slowly, but gaining speed. He finished quickly and stared at the table anxiously.

"When was the last time you ate?"

He mumbled "last night" almost quiet enough that Virgil couldn't hear.

"Oh my God- I'll get you more food."

"You don't have to, I'm already wasting it."

"It's not a waste, I swear."

Virgil gave him a more substantial sandwich, which he did eat a little slower than the bacon and toast. When he finished, he laid his arms crossed against the table and put his head on them, flinching presumably from pain before settling down.

"If you need anything, just tell me."

"What I need is a house," he whispered, “sorry.”

"No, it's fine."

Virgil was greeted with silence, so he spoke again.

"What's your name?"

The boy sighed. "Roman. Like my parents would ever call me that, though."

"Um, if you don't mind sharing, why'd they kick you out?"

Roman choked back tears before he couldn't. He began repeatedly slamming his head on the table, far too hard to be healthy. Virgil tried his best to put his hand between his head and the table, and Roman soon grew tired of trying and let his head fall limp on Virgil's hand.

"They kicked me out because I was trans. Well, that and the point they've made many times that I'm a worthless piece of shit," he gestured vaguely to bruises on his shoulder.

"Decided I was gonna finally cut my hair and wear my fucking binder with them. They didn't take it very well. God, I'm so stupid," he said, resuming attempts to give himself a concussion.

Virgil instead, this time, held Roman's head away from the table, who started crying again.

"If it's any consolation… you pass really well.” Virgil rubbed his neck awkwardly. “When I first cut my hair I just looked like a butch lesbian."

Virgil cautiously let Roman's head go, and to his relief it looked up at Virgil instead.

"You're trans too?!?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. I was dumb when I picked a name like 'Virgil,' though. You picked a nice name. Roman."

"You named yourself after a poet?!"

Roman looked delighted at this news, but it didn't last for long.

"If I even mentioned any masculine names, my mom or dad would fucking beat me. Whoever was there, usually."

"Holy shit. I can't imagine having to deal with that. It's way too much for anyone to ever go through."

Roman mumbled a small "I probably deserve it," before going silent again, tracing the patterns on his cup with his finger, watching the ice melt.

“No, you don’t! You don’t deserve to be hurt like that!”

“You sure? I’m kinda a shitty person.”

“I promise you’re not. If anything you’ve said to me means anything at all.”

A silence fell over them for a few minutes.

"What am I going to do?"

Virgil thought for a moment, looking at the person in front of him. His hair was ruffled and messy, and his eyes were puffy from crying. He glanced at the bandages holding back most of the blood, and the binder strap peeking through his shirt. One earring hung out of his ear, the other seemingly ripped out in someone's anger. His jacket was almost bloody and stained, his shirt not faring much better. Once-twinkling eyes stared dully at their hand, shaking against its glass absently. On one hand, they were basically strangers. On the other, this kid just got kicked out of his house. He had nothing.

"I know we literally just met, but, I mean I don't know, it wouldn't be a guarantee, but I bet my mom would- might let you stay at our house, at least for a little bit. I mean, I don't know, maybe she wouldn't, we’re not exactly rich, but she really cares about LGBT+ youth and if you got a job you might be able to afford a small apartment with someone once you're a legal adult, I doubt she'd mind until then, I mean how old are you? Sorry, I just, wanna help."

Roman looked on the verge of tears, smiling acutely at Virgil.

"S-same thing with the 'don't know you very well', but I could," he paused, "really use a hug right now. Of course like, don’t feel pressured-"

Virgil obliged instantly, switching sides of the booth to give his new friend a tight, long hug. Roman started crying again, but this time he had a real, full, wide smile on his face. He leaned into it, hugging back like his life depended on it.

"Thanks for your offer, but I wouldn't wanna be a hassle or anything or waste your family's money-"

"It's okay. If she's really concerned about that, which I'm sure she won't be, I can use the money I earn here. I won't let you be homeless."

"You'd really do that for someone you met at 2AM at a diner?"

"You need it, and I can provide it."

Roman started crying happy tears, grinning like he'd never been this happy before. From what Virgil could tell, he probably hadn't. Roman could barely believe it.

Not only would he be living in a house, but a home.

[ashtenstitches]

you forgot the 99 gay ask thing

I stg i have to get on my computer for this

1.       how tall are you?

- 5’4”

 2.       what is your body type?

- “she eatin good” lol

 3.       what is your favorite part about your body?

- My eyes

 4.       is your current hair color your natural hair color?

- Lol no

 5.       are you more outgoing or more shy?

- More shy

 6.       are you more femme or butch?

- Definitely femme

 7.       are you tol or smol?

- Smol

 8.       wine mom or vodka aunt?

- Neither because alcohol is icky

 9.       weird habit?

- I chew on my nails ugh

 10.   favorite meme?

- The yelling at the cat one. Or baby yoda

 11.   do you sing in the 🚿?

- No my family is mean

 12.   ever used a 🏹?

- Yes

 13.   are/were you a theatre kid?

- Nope I was a choir kid

 14.   have you ever seen a broadway musical?

- No

 15.   do you think musicals are cheesy?

- Yes but that’s why I love them

 16.   have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

- Not yet

 17.   favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

- Bees?

 18.   last movie you 👀?

- Uhm I don’t remember! Meet the Robinsons?

 19.   behind the 📸 or in front of it?

- How about both

 20.   favorite 📺 show?

- Skins uk

 21.   meaning behind your url

- its my first and middle name

 22.   reason you joined tumblr

- I had an eating disorder so I used it to trigger myself LOL

 23.   who’s your closest tumblr friend?

- Probs @boymeetswaffles 

 24.   what’s something most people 😍 that you hate?

- Tea

 25.   have you ever taken narcotics?

- No

 26.   have you had sex?

- No im a virgin!!!

 27.   have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

- Yes lol my mom caught me having sex

 28.   worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

- “I am so straight”

 29.   describe your passion without mentioning it.

- Uh I have a lot of passions lol

 30.   describe your best friend.

- Silly. Kind. Loving. Fun. Strong.

 31.   give us one thing about you that no one knows.

- Well for you tumblr people who don’t follow my insta, I own like 30 plants

 32.   how do you feel right now?

- Good!

 33.   what is your biggest fear?

- Being alone forever lmao

 34.   what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

- Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran

 35.   what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

- Coming out and going vegan

 36.   have you ever tried your hardest and then been 😞 in the end?

- Who hasn’t

 37.   something you fantasize about.

- Lol well in life it’d be living on the beach in Hawaii

 38.   last time you 😢 and why

- new years eve, I missed my best friend.

 39.   what was the last thing that made you 😂?

- My best friend

 40.   do you really, truly miss someone right now?

- Yes

 41.   who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

- My best friendddd

 42.   the last time you felt broken?

- Last week lmao

 43.   are you starting to realize anything?

- Absolutely

 44.   are you more dominant or more submissive?

- I can be both hehe

 45.   i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

- you are funny

 46.   do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

- I tend to go for older people!

 47.   describe the person you’re 😍 with/have a crush on in great detail.

- well I don’t know how to go about that LMAO

 48.   do you have any kinks?

- I guess lmao theyre pretty vanilla though

 49.   first thing you notice in a person?

- Eyes and hair

 50.   how can someone win your 💛?

- Be funny!! Also be romantic!! I am very romantic and I will literally melt at anything even slightly romantic

 51.   been rejected by a crush?

- Oh yeah

 52.   have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

- So many times

 53.   would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

- If I was on my phone I would use the surprised emoji rn lol but no because they have a bf

 54.   is trust a big issue for you?

- Not so much anymore!

 55.   did you hang out with the person you like recently?

- No

 56.   is confidence cute?

- Yes

 57.   what would you say if the person you 😍/like 😘 another girl/boy?

- Well I would say I am so happy for them

 58.   would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you 😂?

- No way

 59.   does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

- lol sadly yes, sorry man

 60.   ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

- Yes lol

 61.   do you want to get married

- yes

 62.   worst thing you’ve ever done?

- Hurt my best friend

 63.   three things that turn you on.

- Neck kisses, thigh touches, the other person being turned on

 64.   who do you hate?

- The orange guy in the oval office

 65.   favorite term of endearment?

- my love

 66.   who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

- Shailene Woodley 

 67.   intimidating girls or kind girls?

- Yes lol

 68.   what do you look for in a possible partner?

- That they are funny lol that is #1

 69.   do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

- I just like girls dude

 70.   are you good at flirting?

- No way

 71.   who was the first person you came out to?

- My boyfriend at the time HAHA

 72.   do you have any friends who are wlw?

- Yes

 73.   is your crush wlw?

- Yes

 74.   last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

- Shailene Woodley again lmao

 75.   write a short 😍 poem to your crush/self?

- Hey

I think you’re really cute

I like you a lot

Maybe we could hang out or something

 76.   do you fall 😍 easily?

- Oh yeah

 77.   is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

- Yes

 78.   are you good at hiding your feelings?

- Nope lol

     79.   are you a forgiving person?

- Yes

 80.   what is your “type?”

- if they’re a girl then they’re my type lol

 81.   fall 😴 in her arms or rub her back until she falls 😴 in yours?

- Omg her fall asleep in mine that’s so cute

 82.   tall girls or short girls?

- Yes

 83.   hugs or kisses?

- …yes

 84.   twirl her around or get twirled?

- ……..yes

 85.   tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

- YES

 86.   hairline kisses or neck kisses?

- Yes

 87.   play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

- Yessssssss

 88.   making out or soft kisses?

- YES YES YES

 89.   hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 90.   how confident are you in your sexuality?

- Pretty confident!

 91.   when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

- Oh yes

 92.   have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

- Answered but yes

 93.   how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

- I think 17? was when i was like oh shit lol but i definitely had crushes at like 13-14

 94.   most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

- had an anxiety attack lmao

 95.   do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

- Naomi and Emily in Skins uk and yes

 96.   what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

- That I will go to hell/it would be better that I was a murderer than gay: from my mom

 97.   when was the last time a girl made your 💛 flutter?

- earlier today

 98.   what is 😍 to you?

- Deep conversations until morning. soft kisses. the little thumb thing

 99.   ask me anything.

- well you fell asleep on me so there is nothing here lmao

[mahalidael]

Heart Attack #1: It’s Over, Romeo! I Have the High Ground

Content warning: Swearing, injury, brief mentions of sexual content.

What if you could share a body with your soulmate? Sounds like a fun story, but for Kanon and Stephanie, it's reality--a painfully awkward reality, especially because they hate each other and now they have to fight crime.

It all started when I broke Stephanie Lemaire’s wrist in study hall.

When I moved to Kansas, I noticed there were a lot of jocks, a lot of girls, and an overwhelming number of jock girls at my school. At the time, I had no idea why there were so many, I was just afraid to talk to them—and for some reason they liked congregating in Ms. Parker’s classroom.

Security during study hall was lax. A lot of people just wandered around in the hallway convening with friends. I think I was the only person who actually studied, no matter how much the flock of capes distracted me.

I don’t know exactly why they went to Ms. Parker’s room—maybe it was just convenient, but more likely is that people gravitated to Stephanie.

Stephanie had a surprising silhouette for a Kansas girl. She was about fifteen when I met her and her shoulders had already broadened out. She had firm features and a really butch way of dressing—I bet she would have looked like a football player if she cut her Dolly Parton curls, but she didn’t. She was also dumb as a box of hammers.

Never had one girl been blamed for so much. Every time I heard something about her, it was an answer to a question. “Why doesn’t the cafeteria have barbecue sauce packets any more?” “Stephanie was hoarding them.” “Why can’t we use duct tape on school grounds?” “Stephanie taped some kid to the closet door.”

I didn’t actually talk to her that much. Sometimes she would push me out of the way in the locker room, and for a while it was a game for the capes to bop all the short kids over the head in the hallway, but no real talking.

Usually when Stephanie’s meat ocean appeared, I was an easy target. I was fairly small, my hair was just coming in pink at the roots, and I only ever wore sweaters. On top of everything else, I’ve got a heart condition, and periodically turning purple if you over-exert yourself isn’t a recipe for popularity. So most of the time I’d get paper tossed at me, or somebody would make a Super Saiyan joke. Most of the time.

But a little more information, and keep in mind I didn’t know any of this shit at the time, but I heard all of this from Stephanie later on:

The high school capes aren’t an official club, because the school’s not allowed to sanction heroism, but they might as well be. They get together on Sunday afternoons and train their asses off preparing for the day that they too will get to fistfight a clown in a dark alley.

So that’s the set dressing. The conflict is the lacrosse team.

There are two kinds of jock in my high school: lacrosse jock and cape jock. The lacrosse team is mostly supers, so it’s only inevitable that they would feud, and today it had manifested in the form of an arm wrestling tournament in the middle of the room.

I didn’t hear the first part of the conversation, but apparently one of the greasier lacrosse players had challenged one of the capes and now it was just coming together. Winner of the last round got to pick the next challenger, and so it went.

These fights never last, and eventually it was less of a “what sports team is better” contest and more of a “supers are better than capes” contest. It was like Injustice: Gods Among Us but shittier.

I didn’t want to be pulled in, but it was one of those things that were so stupid you just couldn’t look away. The most surprising thing was that Stephanie won three rounds in a row, against three increasingly big lacrosse players. I knew that capes weren’t slouches, but holy shit.

It went downhill when they tied. “We need a tie-breaker,” greasy boy declared.

Stephanie was leaning back in her chair, sweating and red in the face. “I heard you the first time, asslamp; there’s no need to yell. Okay, are there any supers who haven’t gone?” She said, and then took a long drink of the bottle of Gatorade on her desk. I turned away and pretended to cough so it wouldn’t look like I was making eyes at her.

Of course, that act of repressed lesbianism was my undoing. As if cued, everyone simultaneously noticed me. Asslamp said: “Hey, nerd!”

“I—yes?” I sputtered.

“Are you a super?”

“Yes,” I said, before I could stop myself.

The capes erupted into laughter, and the supers groaned. I felt my face heat up. “I’m not gonna wrestle that,” Stephanie giggled.

And I thought “wow… now I’m obligated to kick her ass.”

I stood up, and I walked as confidently as I could towards an arm wrestling match with a girl twice my size, which wasn’t very. Honestly, I wouldn’t have passed a field sobriety test. I sat down and looked her dead in the eye. Everyone else was whooping like idiots.

She put her elbow on the table. “You ready to lose?”

I laughed nervously as I did the same. “No.”

“Wrong hand, short-ass.”

“I’m left-handed, is that a problem?”

Stephanie shrugged and put her left hand in mine. “Only if you make it a problem.”

Asslamp refereed. “Are you ready? On your marks…”

Everyone in the room was yelling now.

“Get set…”

I squeezed her hand a little harder.

“Go!”

…I wish I had something interesting to say about the ten seconds or so that I actually arm wrestled Stephanie, but really I was just internally screaming. Mostly because I was wilting quickly, and my arm was almost touching the desk, but also because I could not stop pumping myself up to kick her ass.

After all, how could I her beat me? She was so stupid, so arrogant, so blonde, so fucking cu—

And that’s when her arm hit the desk, hard. I could have sworn I heard a snapping sound, but it was lost in the sound of the supers cheering like wild animals. Eventually it subsided when people started noticing that Stephanie was both holding her arm to her chest and screaming bloody murder at me.

“What the fuck did you do to my wrist?!” Sure enough, it was bent strangely, in a way that wasn’t present before we arm wrestled.

Shit. Fuck. Shit fuck. “I’m sorry! It was an accident!”

The apology didn’t stop Stephanie from grabbing me by my sweater. “Son of a bitch, dude, fucking warn me! You know how much trouble we’re gonna get in now? If I get suspended one more time, I’m fucked!”

...Is what I think she said. Her voice sounded really far away for some reason, and all I could hear was a loud electric whine.

And then I apologized, and I apologized, and I said “I didn’t know I could do that,” and then I woke up in the hospital.

Smooth.

I got off easy with the school due to the medical scare. Apparently Stephanie’s parents didn’t sue because this kind of thing happens a lot, and it was a minor fracture. The doctor still made her wear a cast, though, which she made a point of flipping me off with a couple of times.

More confusing was where that sudden burst of strength had come from, and how quickly it had left. Best I could figure was that it was triggered by high stress, but trying to replicate the scenario produced nothing.

Maybe an outside factor had set it off, but aside from the actual arm wrestling, there didn’t seem to be anything unusual…

And then I had that thought that only teenagers and fraternity brothers can have:

Was I—was I being too gay?

I figured, no… it couldn’t be that. I mean, I’d accidentally jacked it to the thought of my first grade teacher once, but that didn’t cause any super-powered fireworks. Besides, whatever creamy feelings I might have had for Stephanie were killed after she made a habit of chucking orange juice cartons at me at lunch.

But I couldn’t be sure—until a few months later, on a biology field trip.

When field trip buddies were announced, we didn’t say anything on the bus, we didn’t say anything in the field trip line, and we didn’t say anything until halfway through the day when our group stopped for lunch. We were required to remain within twenty feet of each other, but otherwise we were completely ignoring each other.

I was like, holding a thing of yogurt, and then Stephanie sat down next to me, and she fished a bag of protein powder (?) out of her varsity jacket, and absolutely nothing else. She swallowed down the whole packet, then walked off towards the bathroom like it was nobody’s business.

Now, my dumb ass was still in that good Asian schoolgirl mentality, and field trip buddy rules said that Stephanie walking to the bathroom was absolutely my business. I jettisoned my yogurt and took off after her.

To give you an idea of what happened: the Kansas City aquarium has a cafeteria. Off that cafeteria, there’s a straight, darkened hallway. At the start of that hallway, there’s a ladies’ room—a ladies’ room that Stephanie was now breezing past, into the shadows.

You what fucking sucks about tall people? They can just strut off wherever they want, and us normal-sized people have to run behind them like idiots.

“Hey, wait!” I shouted as quietly as I could, to avoid getting myself in trouble.

By some miracle, Stephanie didn’t ignore me, but instead turned on her heel and faced me in the darkness, features set. “What?”

“Um…” She glared down at me. “Did you, like, forget your lunch, or…”

“That was my lunch,” she said in the same tone you would say something like “this town ain’t big enough for the two of us.”

“Oh.” Stephanie’s glare was sharp enough to cut glass. “I can buy you a banana or—”

She thrust her right hand towards me, as if asking for a handshake. I blinked. “Go on,” she said.

I carefully shook her hand, not sure what she wanted. She brought her left to her face in a gesture of frustration. “Don’t be stupid!”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t know what you want.”

Stephanie huffed. “If you wanna break my other wrist so bad, you might as well do it!”

Aw, man, this again. “I’m not here to break your wrist, I’m here because you’re wandering off into the unknown!”

She leaned into the wall, crossing her arms and looking at me like I was the densest girl she’d ever met. There was no light in the hallway, and the light of the cafeteria was very soft on her face. “It’s not ‘the unknown’ if I know what’s at the end of it. The tour isn’t going through this wing, but it’s still open.”

“Then dick around on your own time! We’re gonna get in trouble again.”

Stephanie puffed her chest out indignantly and planted her feet. “Okay. Go on. Go ahead and stop me.”

I took her hand and pulled hard as I could. Stephanie smiled, barely swaying. I went around to her side and tried pushing her back towards the cafeteria, leaning my whole weight into it, but she didn’t budge at all. All I accomplished was making myself aware that I was half her size.

“Where’d that arm wrestling strength go?” she said when I had finally given up, wheezing a little bit. I hoped I wouldn’t pass out again.

“Shut up.”

“We’ve got twenty minutes. You can’t stop me, so either you go back and get in trouble, or you see something cool and get in trouble. I mean, you’re screwed no matter what happens.”

I weighed my options. Maybe it was the super curiosity in me, but I really wanted to see what was at the end of that dark hallway. And Stephanie was dumb, but she was right. My biology teacher hated me, and if I went back and told her I would still get in trouble.

I took a deep breath. “Five minutes, then we’re gonna try slipping back into the cafeteria.”

“What makes you think you can drive a bargain with me?”

“If I remember anything from that time I broke your wrist, it’s that you care about getting in trouble.”

Stephanie’s expression seemed to do a little dance of panic and anger before getting schooled. “Whatever. Five minutes is good. Come on, follow me.”

She kept a firm hand on my shoulder, and her face was still very neutral, but she held onto me like she was scared I was gonna run off or try to break her arm again.

As we walked down the hallway, my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I could see we were approaching a pair of doors at the end. They were painted black, and looking at them I thought it was a place that I wouldn’t be allowed to enter.

“There’s a reason,” Stephanie said when she reached the doors, “why this hallway is so dark, and it’s not because it’s closed.” She grinned at me. “You ready?”

“Ready enough.”

“Watch this.” She opened the door just a crack, and I saw a soft purple light in the darkness.

Vote and comment on Wattpad.

[transboyurameshi-blog]

x @frogopera I didn’t wanna spam your inbox so here’s a list of recs, there’s anime in there as well bsjskqjdrjejqjr anyone is open to reblog this tho idc think of it as my official rec list pff tf t if you have any triggers I’d be happy to go through and let you know if they have them

Bojack Horseman: you’ve possibly already seen this but I would do a disservice if I didn’t include it. It’s genuinely the best animated series I have ever had the joy of watching and the pinnacle of adult animation. It’s inclusive, smart, very heavy and bojack is…he the kind of main character you don’t wanna relate to but you will • tw for drug and alcohol abuse, mentions of and implications of child abuse, and homophobia (gay character is fired and contracts prostate cancer ), and slight pedophilia ( bojack almost drunkenly sleeps with a teenager, technically legal in that state and she was sober but ewe no to the shows credit it’s painted as a BAD thing )

Home: the adventures of oh and tipp it’s a 2d animated series based around the dreamworks movie and it’s actually incredibly cute fun decompression stuff • tw for transphobia I think? they make some jokes about the alien races genders and like…..I can’t tell if it’s a transphobic joke or trying to teach kids pronoun usage tbfh

The batman idk how you feel about superhero stuff but the batman is a pretty stylish and interesting take in batman mythos and the art style is that kind of awkward but captivating and interesting. it really stands out if that makes sense

my little pony: equestria girls movies: okay hear me out, they’re actually pretty good ( so is the show in my frank opinion but the movies are a good jumping on point ) the movies take place in a more human world and rainbow rocks is legitimately fucking awesome with kick ass music and they’re all S U P E R gay with butch lesbian supreme sunset shimmer

the tinker bell movies: they’re centered around a whole world of fairies and like I’m psure they might not be 2d animation but they’re honestly worth a watch, just pure and fun.

lolirock:

cute french based cartoon about three magical pop star princesses and it was the show everyone was excited about because there’s a black magical girl. it’s just super beautiful and sweet and bubblegum but it’ll get you in the heart too

Glitter force:

it’s one of the few precure anime we dubbed and it just …. it’s silly and kinda dumb but if you just want pure cotton candy and sparkles this is the anime for you. the main girl has a deep love of fairy tails and happy ever after like 💕💕

Winx:

again a little shallow seeming and the art style takes some getting used to but it’s a big organic world of magic and wonder that will draw you in and genuinely surprise you in some places

Horseland:

it’s a pretty diverse show about a bunch of young girls and their magic talking horses they don’t know can talk. it’s again more feel good kid stuff but it tackled native cultural appropriation and litterly called out the white girl wearing native headdress so it gets bonus points from me

the last unicorn:

*clutches chest* it’s just beautiful and amazing okay

justice League / justice League unlimited:

both fairly awesome superhero series that helped start the dcau and are just fucking brilliantly written and still hold up today

batman beyond:

this show is dated af and is about future batman in the fuuuture man sjjzjqjejriejr it’s super great though and is just a nice take on a young batman still balancing school and life

the goofy movie

just a really nice hilarious movie that gets a lot more on the nose the older you get plus I’m still not over Roxanes character design it’s really aces

Balto;

again a lot of my love for this movie comes from its animation but it’s a pretty heartwarming story about what someone can achieve for those they love

I’m sneaking in Wendy wu homecoming warrior despite it being live action because it’s an actually fascinating Disney movie with a really cool mythos and ACTUALLY HAS A PREDOMINANTLY ASIAN CAST go figure sjsjsjdje

Atlantis:

I have a deep love for this movie and it doesn’t get near the recognition it deserves. it subverts the damsel in distress trope without being patronizing about it. we get a lovable scrawny nerd that’s actually respectful of the cultures he studies and his goddess of a future wife and like it was a movie written by mostly white people that managed to portray a tribal element without seeming racist

lucha Libre and really cute oft forgotten cartoon about latinx children in training to become luchadors like their parents

ao no exorcist:

is a really intense anime with catholic themes that really goes deep into the concept of nature vs nurture and has a pretty gay coded protagonist and focuses more on his familial relationship with his brother and the strain it’s gone under vs his possible romances

ruroni Kenshin and samurai champloo are good old classic anime if you’re looking for that old school feudal Japan feeling and adventure and rag tag looser building a family

K is a pretty fascinating anime in that if I explained too much I’d ruin the fun of discovering it yourself tho hey more queer coding

detective conan is a fucking awesome mystery anime but at like eight billion episodes and counting I wouldn’t worry too much about it sjajhdejskkf

Karneval is a really cute and funny, pretty anime following a sweet amnesiac child as he joins the circus to find the one he loves, and yes more queer coding like haRD

yu yu hakusho:

literally my favorite anime ever in existence and I’ll just keep this short it follows a demon hunter as life continues to screw him over and he survives

assassination classroom:.

is actually a very weirdly heartwarming story about a bunch of kids tasked to assassinate their teacher ( I swear it’s weirder than it sounds ( but it’s definitely not a book to be judged by its cover

Majin tentai nogami neuro: is a very interesting and in depth murder mystery anime about a demon who literally eats mysteries and enlists the help of a human girl to open up a detective agency. warning tho shit gets DARK near the end

petshop of horrors:

this is an ova series so it’s just a couple episodes but it’s a hauntingly creepy and fun look and an eccentric pet shop owner that offers his clients … dubious pets that would be fine if these guys would just follow the rules of ownership he gives them

xxxholic:

again kind of a mystery anime but with far more magic and I’m pretty positive it’s canon one of the male characters is unrequitely in love with the main guy, and the art style is definitely an aquired taste but it’s worth it

death parade:

THIS SHIT GAVE ME A CRISIS OF SELF AFTER FINISHING IT, DO NOT LET TYE HAPPY INTRO FOOL YOU IT’S OUT FOR YOUR BLOOD AND TEARS YOU WILL FUCK CRY