#i learned that today

[ahollowgrave]

// bright star -- when I first laid eyes upon you I was filled with such a longing To be with you in the dark !!

[aduckwithears]

I have a deep-seated need to see Aziraphale cocoon Crowley with blankets and cuddle him like a snaky burrito for approximately 100 years.

[freakurodani]

"Did you know that your eyes gleam like a cat's?"

"Do they?"

"Yeah! Especially when you turn toward the lantern!"

"Hm. I didn't know. I suppose it makes sense. Cat eyes glow in the dark because they reflect light so they can see better at night."

"Gwahh! That's so cool! Are you a cat, Akaashi-san?"

A smile snuck its way onto Keiji's lips. "No, I'm a witch."

[asquirrelinspace]

YOINK!

Source: US fish and wildlife service on instagram (https://www.instagram.com/reel/C817Hl-qrm-/)

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned about Shiniuzhai, a convenience store hanging on a cliff in Hunan, that’s been nicknamed “most inconvenient convenience store” in China (x)

[rhapsodyinpink]

I had my first ever moh's surgery today. I took two days off from work and have that and the three day weekend to recover. I was there from 9 to 4 and when I left I was...okay? Like I was a bit sore, but I was moving pretty well and I thought to myself, "oh I could've gone back to work tomorrow; I'm fine."

Then at about 11:30 p.m. i realized just how much heavy lifting the numbing shots were doing.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwww... 😢

[oboeonecannoli]

i changed my mind. sevika be upon ye.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[bluegiragi]

group huddle!

early access + nsfw on patreon monster!AU masterpost

[ferncloud]

girls night out

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[americanmarketplace]

Time for a reminder: We are a (CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC) NOT A DEMOCRACY LET IT SINK IN !!!!!!

[brightlotusmoon]

To quote someone on Facebook:

"So for anyone who didn't know, there's a thing ADHD brains do sometimes, which is thinking about doing a thing is roughly equivalent in our brain to doing the thing, so our brain checks off having done the thing EVEN THOUGH WE DIDN'T DO THE THING"

_

*raises hand* Me. I didn't do the thing I thought I did.

[eydilily]

cleaned up some slabtek today

[taimanzano]

We need a proper name for this ship, I BEG YOU don't let it be MegaPrima, it sounds super stupid in spanish TToTT

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)