#i learned all my slurs and swears from him :3

[thicctails]

hes playing CoD and losing to a 12 year old

Image Description:

[ A sketch of Adam is holding a swaddled baby Charlie with his wing while holding a game controller with his hands. He is sitting on a chair made of clouds and is swearing at the screen, depicted through various text symbols. The floor around them has a sock, a bottle, and a half empty bag of chips. ]

[swarvey]

paper rings | harvey x f!reader

summary -> Harvey gets drunk with the boys; you have a realization. warnings -> none! wc -> 3818

a/n: calm before the storm <3

ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8

paper rings masterlist

chapter seven: i think he knows -> "it's like i'm seventeen, nobody understands."

“Done!” 

Triumphantly placing the last piece of the bundle in the box, you watched happily as a blue Junimo picked it up and took it away. As you continuously brought goods to the Community Center in hopes of restoring it — per Mayor Lewis’s request — you noticed this particular Junimo seemed to have taking a liking to you, as it kept following you to random places. Not only was it mainly the one who would take your completed bundles, but once in a while, it would show up at the farm or in the mines, usually looking at you with curious eyes before disappearing. You weren’t complaining, of course. It was harmlessly adorable, and after seeing it a couple of times, you fittingly named it Blueberry. It seemed as determined to bring the building back to its prime as you were.

You could hardly believe anyone in town would shop at the Joja Mart over Pierre’s. Sure, the guy could be a bit stuck-up, but at least his goods weren’t processed to hell like Joja’s. You shivered at the thought of working for the cursed company again, not comprehending how Sam and Shane could tolerate being in that place regularly. 

Well, Sam less so, as he always seemed to figure out how to entertain himself. It seemed like Shane just liked being in a place where no one would bother him, which made you all the more confused as to why he hung around Harvey and, of all people, Elliott, who seemed to be his polar opposite. 

You sighed contently as Blueberry wound around your feet once before walking away with the bundle, proudly looking at the two rooms you had completed so far. Although the effort was taking you a bit longer than you liked, seeing the rooms steadily come together was enough for you. You chose not to question how the Community Center was repairing itself, or where the Junimos came from — you’d learned long ago that many things in the Valley were unexplainable, and you were okay with that. 

You smiled as you waved goodbye to your little blue friend, swearing you saw it wave back.

I wonder what Harvey would think of this little guy.

-

“What in the everloving fuck am I looking at right now.”

For once, Harvey completely agreed with Shane’s words. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through his bloodstream, but whatever Elliott was holding up on his phone screen was not making an ounce of sense to him.

“It’s a visualization of my novel!” the writer exclaimed, his usually precise tone slurred due to the three empty glasses in front of him. “I decided to expand my creative mind and turn to another output. This will allow me to make full use of my thought process.”

Shane snorted, grabbing the phone out of his hands and squinting at the poorly drawn stick figures. “Dude, I don’t know how to break it to you,” he started, laughter already bubbling in his voice, “but this looks like shit .”

Harvey shook his head and smiled as Shane cackled. Elliott snatched his phone back in retaliation, visibly offended. “It’s a rough draft, it’s not meant to look polished! You agree, don’t you, my good doctor?”

“. . . It kind of looks like shit,” he admitted, his rare use of profanity slipping off his tongue easily. Harvey took a long swig of his drink, avoiding Elliott’s utterly betrayed gaze.

Meanwhile, Shane continued to crack up, holding his stomach as he doubled over. “If this is the rough draft, the real thing might just pass off as a kindergartener’s drawing. Hey, why don’t I ask Jas to give you some tips? She’s not half bad, that kid.”

“I absolutely will not — actually,” Elliott paused, cutting off his own sentence, “that may not be a terrible idea. Then, I could obtain a glimpse of how she views my work, and incorporate it into the final product!”

As Shane groaned, tuning out the rest of the other man’s rambling, Harvey felt his phone buzz, looking down to see a text from you lighting up his screen.

Y/N : hey, you at the saloon?

In the midst of his drunken haze, he allowed a lovestruck smile to stretch his lips. He didn’t even notice Shane and Elliott momentarily pausing their bickering to glance at him, both of them raising their brows. 

Harvey : Am I that predictable?

Y/N : like clockwork. drunk off your ass yet?

Harvey : I never get drunk off my ass, Y/N.

Y/N : really? 

should i send the video?

Harvey : DO NOT!!

I asked you to delete it years ago. :(

Y/N : LOL you’re totally drunk

i’ll ask emily to take some funny photos

i’ve been meaning to update your contact pic anyway

Harvey : You are impossible.

Harvey felt like a teenager again, hiding his grin and tinted cheeks behind his hand. 

Harvey : Are you at home?

Y/N : yeah, i’m beat, probably gonna head to bed

still down for the festival on tuesday?

His posture straightened as he suddenly remembered the invitation he’d given you to the Stardew Valley Fair. After checking the date and seeing that it was Saturday, he realized he had less than a week to mentally prepare himself for the event. 

“Shit,” he swore quietly, once again not noticing the appalled look on Elliott’s face at his swear. Shane snickered, no doubt finding it amusing to see the doctor so intoxicated — it was largely his fault, after all, since he’d been determined to partake in as many rounds as humanely possible.

Harvey : Of course! Why don’t I meet you at the clinic?

I’ll have to close up in the morning, so you can come in and wait for me.

Y/N : wow, inviting me over to your clinic? 

does this mean i get a free check-up? 

A free . . . check-up?

Harvey could only imagine this was what short-circuiting felt like.

Apparently, alcohol caused his thoughts to run even more wild. Images of you propped up on his examination table and smiling at him innocently flashed through his mind, his fingers frozen and unable to type out a response.

“Talking to Y/N, I’m guessing?” Harvey quickly closed his phone at the sound of Gus’s voice, realizing Shane must have ordered yet another round of drinks for everyone. His friends looked away, though he could still make out their amused smirks. “How’s that goin’ for ya?”

Right. After his first dinner with you in town, Harvey had confessed to Gus the situation he was in, his head bowed in guilt as he lectured him about treating you properly. Despite his protectiveness over you, Gus was still supportive of his feelings, giving him as much advice as he could.

“It’s, uh, going well,” Harvey replied, thinking that was the best word to describe your relations with him as of late. “We’re just as close as we were before.”

The older man nodded, grabbing the empty glasses to stow them away. “Well, you better take care of her, son. It’s not every day people have a connection like the two of you do, and I’d hate to see either of ya get hurt.” With that, Gus worked his way over to the next table, leaving Harvey to sit with his words.

“He’s right,” Shane said, pushing over another glass to him. “You two are somethin’ else for sure. Kinda makes me sick.”

“I would expect nothing less,” Elliott countered. Upon seeing half his new drink was already gone, Harvey questioned how his speech was still comprehensible. “As I have been insisting since our dear Harvey first brought up the farmer, these two are a clear example of fate .”

“Oh, enough with that bullshit. Fate this, fate that — if fate’s real, why can’t it get me a new fuckin’ job, huh? That place makes me feel like I’m losing whatever brain cells I have left.”

Buzz!

“What does she want, anyway?” Shane asked, attempting to read Harvey’s screen. He quickly picked up his phone, looking away sheepishly as he hid your conversation. His friend huffed an unamused laugh, shrugging. “This is some damn middle school shit,” he grumbled, and Elliott laughed into his glass as he sipped his drink.

Y/N : relax harvs, i can practically see you having a heart attack through the screen

it was a joke btw, i’ll make sure to properly pay and schedule an appointment whenever i need one :salute:

Great. Now you thought he was being stingy. 

Harvey : Sorry, I got distracted. You know you can come in whenever you’d like.

Y/N : i know, thanks dr. harvey 

anyways, have fun, i’m off to bed

goodnight!

Harvey : Goodnight, Y/N.

When Harvey awoke the next morning, blinking past the dull ache in his head, he saw an unread text from you sent an hour before. His eyes widened as he opened it, realizing Emily must have listened to your request and snuck a picture of him when he wasn’t paying attention.

Of course, she had caught him while he was texting you, his face and ears burning red and his hidden smile completely up for show in the photo. He groaned in embarrassment, certain you would notice his expression and question him for it.

Instead, your text focused on a completely different aspect of the image.

Y/N : what the hell are those two idiots doing??

Confused, Harvey looked back at the picture and zoomed in, stifling a laugh at the sight of his two friends in the middle of a heated argument. Shane’s lips were pulled back in an aggressive snark while Elliott raised his phone to his face, his eyes lit with an honest passion.

Harvey : Lovers’ quarrel. Happens every day.

-

Memories hit you like a truck as you and your horse slowly headed towards town. You could practically smell the buttered popcorn and hear the ringing sound of festival games already filling the air. The Stardew Valley festival used to be the perfect way to end your summers as a kid, especially when your grandfather would tag along with you. He would always take your hand and smile at you warmly, sometimes even giving you a pouch of coins to spend on your own. You smiled to yourself at the thought. Although he wasn’t walking beside you anymore, you swore you could still feel his familiar energy around you.

Or maybe Emily’s starting to get to me. 

Either way, your excitement only grew at the sight of the booths and games coming together, making sure to stop by your stand and drop off the goods you brought to show off. You were sure each of the items was of top quality and glanced at the other displays to see your competition, though you already knew who you had to beat. You glared at Pierre’s abundant stand, scoffing as you made your way toward Harvey’s clinic. Surely, you would win against the overconfident store owner — you were growing your own crops, after all. 

You poked your head into the clinic, eyes brightening at the sight of your childhood friend. Harvey, too consumed in tidying up, didn’t notice you right away, continuing to rearrange some items in the cabinet and humming to himself. You were suddenly reminded of the image Emily sent you the night before, recalling how, for a split second, you’d thought Harvey looked a bit cute with his flushed cheeks and ears. He’d always gotten a bit pink when he drank, but something about that particular angle of him caught your eye. Maybe it was the fact that he was looking at his phone, no doubt in the middle of texting you? Or maybe it was the dumb smile on his face?

Not that you would ever mention any of that, though. Why would you? They were simply quick thoughts you were having, nothing more.

No, you opted to instead highlight the incredibly stupid looks on his friends’ faces, laughing when he called them lovers. Although you didn’t nearly talk to the other two men as much as he did, you could tell they were all good friends. You were glad Harvey had a circle of support around him — knowing him, he constantly had something to stress over, and you knew you couldn’t always be there for him.

You walked up behind Harvey, giving him an exasperated look when he still didn’t turn around. Half-smiling, you extended your hands toward him, slowly inching closer before poking his sides.

“ Boo! ”

“ Huh —?”

Harvey jumped as he yelped in surprise, dropping several rolls of bandages onto the floor. He bent forward and rested his hands on his knees to catch his breath, all while you died of laughter beside him.

“You know I scare easily!” he complained, standing straight to adjust his glasses. 

“Of course I know,” you replied, wiping a fake tear off your cheek. “That’s why I did it.”

“You will never stop tormenting me, will you?”

“Nope. Not ‘til I drop dead.”

“Great,” he deadpanned, shaking his head. “Were you able to finish all your farmwork this morning?”

You nodded, lips still stretched into a lingering smile. “Pet bowls filled, animals fed, and crops watered — all done.” You glanced around the room, noticing he was alone. “Where’s Maru?”

That’s an innocent question, right? Of course it was. She worked under him, after all, it only made sense to ask why she wasn’t there to help. One thought led to another in your head, and suddenly, you were thinking about the Flower Dance; about how pink Maru’s face had been while talking to Harvey; about the soft shyness covering his face, an expression you didn’t know how to read and would bet your farmland it was because he reserved it for her and her only—

“Oh, I told her to sleep in,” he replied easily, putting the bandages in their proper place. “There wasn’t much to do, so I figured I would just get it out of the way.”

Of course. Of course, he told her to sleep in, because Harvey was and always would be thoughtful, more than you’d ever understand.

“Not much to do, huh?” you repeated, and he nodded.

Without warning, you grabbed Harvey’s arm and began to drag him out of the clinic, ignoring his protests about his unfinished work. 

“You can finish when you get back, Harvey, the clinic isn’t going anywhere,” you said, anticipation filling you as Lewis had just finished looking at all the displays. “Mayor Lewis, hey!” You waved him down, and he greeted both of you with a big smile.

“It’s good to see you two.” He sighed, a wistful look taking over him. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown up. Ah, before I forget,” he started, reaching into his pocket. “Y/N, congratulations! You won first place with a rating of a hundred.” You whooped, nearly knocking Harvey over with your excitement as you happily accepted the small bag Lewis gave you. “Here, your prize is a thousand star tokens — use them wisely!”

“A thousand? ” Harvey questioned, peering into the bag. “We used to spend the entire day getting this many tokens.”

“And now, we have a head start,” you said, an old sense of competitiveness creeping its way back into your senses. “Let’s go win some prizes!”

As the plaza began to fill with more and more people, you and Harvey fell back onto your old rhythm — while you took care of all the games requiring strength and technique, he took care of the trickier, mind-twisting ones. Your jaw remained dropped as he stared at the wheel for the seventh time in a row, a finger touching his lips as he thought.

“Green,” Harvey said, to which the man running the game scowled. 

“You sure, bud? You seem awful confident, but your luck might just run out,” he reasoned, though you could tell he was trying to trick him.

Harvey narrowed his eyes. “I’m sure.” 

You laughed giddily as the two of you walked away from the wheel with a heavy sack of tokens, Harvey flaunting a proud look on his face.

“I still don’t get it — how do you do that?” you asked, in awe at his winning streak that had remained unbroken since you first played with him. “You make us tons more compared to that slingshot game!”

He shrugged, putting his hands in his coat pockets. “I mean, after stopping by every year, I started to recognize the pattern. I suppose it’s more statistics, since there’s a much higher chance that—”

“Look who it is!” 

You felt a light punch land on your shoulder as Alex and Haley approached you, watching amusedly as Haley scolded him for hitting you.

“Geez, it wasn’t even that hard,” he mumbled, but lightened up at the sight of your pouch. “You guys won those already?”

“Honestly, it was mostly Harvey,” you admitted, nudging his arm. “Ever since we were kids, he’s always been scarily good at that wheel game. What were you saying, Harvs? Something about statistics, or something?”

No response. 

You looked at him, noticing he was suddenly spacing out and staring at the space in between the two in front of you.

“Harvey? You okay?”

“What?” he questioned, blinking. “Yes, uh, it’s just some simple math, that’s all. Nothing much to it.”

Haley huffed. “Well, can you teach this guy how to do it? ‘Cause whenever I play with him, we never seem to win anything.” Alex opened his mouth to respond, but she paid no mind, opting to walk toward the game Leah was playing instead.

“Wait up!” Just as he was about to turn, Alex looked back at you, grinning. “I’ll see you around, Y/N! Hey, if I have any leftover tokens, I’ll get you something from the prize booth, okay?”

“Deal!” 

After he ran to catch up with the blonde, you turned back to Harvey, cocking your head at the serious look that had hooded over his eyes.

“Um, you sure you’re okay?” you asked, but before you could question him further, he took your arm and led you to the prize booth, gently taking the tokens from your hand. You had never seen him look so determined before, as if he was trying to prove something.

“Here you go, ma’am,” he said, sliding them over to the lady behind the counter. “I believe this should be enough for one of everything you have.”

“One of—? Harvey, what are you doing?!”

That’s how the two of you ended up leaving the Stardew Valley Festival early, Harvey helping you carry home the copious amount of prizes you received.

“You’re sure you don’t want any of this? Come on, Harvs, you practically won all of this yourself,” you said, opening the door to your house. 

Harvey shook his head, smiling as he placed everything in a neat pile at the foot of your bed. You had never seen so many stuffed animals in your life.

“Please, I have no space for any of this in my apartment, anyway.” He looked fondly at the matching bear they’d given the two of you — although yours was obviously more worn down, the design on the new one was the exact same as its counterpart.

You shook your head, pressing the bear back into his arms. “I’ve already got mine, this one can be yours. I can’t have two of the same thing.” You definitely could. Part of you just liked the idea of matching with him.

“If you insist.” He smiled at the stuffed animal in his arms, though it quickly wiped from his face as he turned to leave. “Is that . . .?” You followed his gaze, stomach dropping at what had caught his eye.

He was staring directly at the bouquet you’d hung by your bedside the first morning you had moved in.

Fuck, fuck. He can’t know, I had no idea what those stupid flowers meant back then! You wanted to punch your past self in the jaw for her stupidity. After the Spring season had past, you’d learned the true meaning behind the bouquets Pierre sold, cursing him for not telling you back then. There was no way Harvey could know you bought it with him in mind, not when neither of you saw each other in that way.

Not when he had Maru in mind, supposedly the girl he felt he was constantly gravitating towards.

“Oh, that?” you laughed awkwardly, a cold sweat brewing on your neck. “I bought it for myself!”

He blinked, and for a second, you thought you saw relief flash in his eyes. “Ah, for . . . yourself?”

“Hey, don’t judge,” you responded, crossing your arms. “I just thought they looked nice, so I decided to dry the whole thing to make it last. That’s all.”

“But you do know what a bouquet symbolizes, correct?”

“I do, in fact, know what they mean, Dr. Judgey,” you shot back, feigning offense. “What happened to being a supportive friend?”

“Alright, enough with the dramatism,” he laughed lightly, adjusting his hold on the bear. “I had fun today, Y/N. Um . . . thank you, for spending time with me.”

The tension left your shoulders as you smiled at him. “It’s the least I can do, especially after you got me all this stuff.” You held the door open for him as he left. “Same time next year?” you asked playfully. He managed to salute in agreement with one of his hands, peeking around the stuffed animal’s body to make sure he wasn’t running into anything. 

You spent the rest of the night staring at the flowers on the wall, wondering why your heart clenched whenever you thought back to Harvey seeing them. There was no way he could figure it out, right? As smart as he was, you highly doubted he would think the bouquet was meant for him. You used to visibly gag in front of him whenever people mentioned the idea of you dating him.

So, why were you now having the same reaction at the thought of him dating someone else?

You groaned in frustration into your pillow, lifting your head to look at the pestering flowers once more. You knew it wasn’t fair — it wasn’t fair you were just starting to like him when you’d quite literally had years to do so, and it especially wasn’t fair that he was, in fact, in love with someone else. You couldn’t blame him, though, of course you couldn’t. Maru was smart, pretty, and kind; she lined up with Harvey perfectly.

And yet, there was a part of you screaming there was no one more fitting for him than you. It didn’t matter, though. None of your thoughts mattered if Harvey didn’t see you in that light, if all he saw when he looked at you was his childhood friend who he was able to reconnect with.

You closed your eyes.

It never hurt to pretend, though.

[theearlgreymage]

I AM READY FOR SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY FOR ONCE!!

I may have taken some mental health days this week and spent all of my free time writing.

Worked a lot on May Their Blood Boil -- I have officially finished the first arc of this beast of a fic!! It's sitting just shy of 80k (and now I have to edit it and I do not want to in the slightest.)

And a bunch of silly little one-shots. So I actually have WORDS for everyone today.

6 Sentence Excerpt from Chapter XXII of May Their Blood Boil

It didn’t work last time.  When I took the [redacted] down to the heart of Eldia - nothing happened.  It should have bound him to the palace. Tied him to the land. Let the soil feed off of [redacted] until it was sated.  But it didn’t work. 

6 Paragraph Excerpt from Untitled Reincarnation One-Shot

Things weren’t perfect. Levi still found himself suspended on occasion, mostly for fighting or being disrespectful to his teachers. But he got away with more than he should have as everyone in the school quickly learned that Levi would do anything for Erwin.  Most of his fights were over Erwin.  Smacking someone’s lunch tray out of their hand for calling Erwin a teacher’s pet. Kicking someone in the back of their knees for insinuating that Erwin was a nerd. Pushing someone against the chain link fence behind the school for stealing Erwin’s notebook.  It didn’t take long for Levi to gain a reputation as Erwin’s guard dog.  Erwin, meanwhile, was more discrete in his defense of Levi. Pinning a boy against the stall of the restroom and threatening him with a cold voice for spreading rumors about Levi. Quietly telling a teacher that someone who had tried to steal Levi’s jacket in gym that they were cheating on a test. Tripping someone and sending them flying down the stairs for insulting Levi while being sure to leave no witnesses.  By the end of Levi’s first year at Trost Middle School, the duo had a reputation for being an inseparable pair that shouldn’t be trifled with. 

6 Sentence Excerpt from Untitled PWP One-Shot that I fully blame @ic3-que3n for

Grabbing at the lapels of Erwin’s canvas jacket, Levi’s words are slurred as he tries to find feeling in his mouth. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some kid.”  Erwin spins them suddenly, pinning Levi against the edge of his desk with a tone that’s meant to be playful. “Then don’t act like one, boy.”  The tremble of pleasure that causes catches Levi entirely off guard. Never having thought about, considered even, the prospect of Erwin talking to him in such a way. 

However Many Words I Fucking Feel Like Excerpt from Untitled Client & Secretary One-Shot

My phone vibrates in my pocket. Three concise buzzes that tell me that it’s from the dark little app that I indulge in late at night.  Normally, I wouldn’t check it during the work day.  He’s too much of a distraction. But I need a distraction right now. And I did tell him to tell me about his job interview - which was … today.  No.  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I see the 1 Unread Message from Levi across the top of my screen.  It couldn’t be.  Pressing my thumb on the sensor to unlock my phone, I tap on the message notification.  Levi [3:42PM] : You said you wanted to hear how my interview went. I got the job on the spot.  It’s just a coincidence.   I type out my reply as I walk back to my desk. Not wanting to ignore the man that has captivated my every thought outside of work.  The Commander [3:43PM] : That’s wonderful news!  This could be terrible news.  Grabbing the folder that Hange left for me, I throw it open. Scanning the top of the page for the name of my new secretary.   Levi Ackerman.  Fuck. 

Hello's to all my online friends who I am terrible at staying in contact with below the cut.

And apologies for still being on my AOT bullshit. I swear I have outlines for CO fics. Swear. Promise. I'm just chasing the dopamine and serotonin lately.

@ic3-que3n @shrekgogurt @artsyunderstudy @krisrix @stardustasincocaine @upuntil6am @buffy @raenestee @aristocratic-otter @aroace-genderfluid-snake @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @captain-aralias @confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla @ebbpettier @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @foolofabookwyrm-activated @hushed-chorus @ivelovedhimthroughworse @j-nipper-95 @larkral @martsonmars @mostlymaudlin @onepintobean @skeedelvee @stitchyqueer @theimpossibledemon @wellbelesbian @whogaveyoupermission @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @thewholelemon @yellobb

[daisies-daydreams]

Okay! I’ve had this on my mind for so long now because I love your writing style but I’m kinda looking for some angst? If you’re not comfortable writing for this, I completely understand.

Anyway, idea is, Hobie being the personification of Runway Baby by Bruno Mars and fem!groupie!reader learning that the hard way. Like she falls for him, hard, and he just doesn’t pick up on it? His bandmates all warn her the moment they notice the signs, but she ignores them.

As always, I love your work and you’re a wonderful human being <3

The song in question:

Runaway Baby (Hobie Brown x F!Groupie!Reader)

Pairing: Hobie Brown x F!Groupie!Reader Category: Angst/Hurt No Comfort Warnings: Unrequited Love, Heartbreak, Depictions of Weed/Liquor, Drinking, Cheater!Hobie, Depictions of Sex (auditory only), Swearing Word Count: TBA A/N: I'm not going to lie - I never heard this song until I started to work on this request (it's a banger though!). Also, thank you so much for your kind words. 🫶

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI

You never thought you’d be here: backstage with your icon’s lean, lanky arm slung over your shoulder. The smell of alcohol and weed lingering in the air as the bandmembers of The Mary Janes lounged around with their girl of choice.

“Oi, Bunny, you wanna sip?” Hobie suddenly drawled while holding up a nearly empty bottle of whiskey. Your eyes lit up as you nodded, your heart skipping a beat as he chuckled. You watched with enlarged pupils as Hobie took a swig from the bottle. Your expression changed as he turned towards you, his cheeks puffed out a little as he tilted his head down.

You parted your lips as you laid your hands on his bare chest, the feeling of his warm body against your touch electrifying you to the core. You closed your eyes as Hobie gently spilled the liquor into your mouth, the bitter sting washing over your tongue.

“Fuckin’ hell, Hobes,” one of his band mates grunted. You gasped as Hobie swiped his tongue along your bottom lip before he cupped your chin between his long fingers.

“Such a good girl,” he purred and wiped his thumb across your lips. Your heart raced before he slowly stood up and stretched with a grunt. “Be right back. Gotta take a piss,” the guitarist grunted.

“Thank you for that vital information,” the drummer, Pinkie, said as he rolled his eyes.

“Anytime,” Hobie said with a mocking curtsey. You giggled as the tall, rugged man waltzed out of the room. You didn’t realize you were biting your lip until the bass player cleared his throat.

“Oh, she’s got it real bad,” his groupie laughed, her eyes slightly red and speech slurred.

“What?” you blinked, your earrings jingling as you moved your head. Everyone looked at each other through the thick haze of smoke.

“C’mon, (Y/N). Don’t act all coy,” Pinkie said. You furrowed your brows as your cheeks burned.

“Ya shouldn’t go after ‘im, ya know,” the bassist, Stew, lilted from another couch nearby.

“Stew,” the pretty girl sitting in his lap sighed. Your heart sank a little.

“Why shouldn’t I go after him?” you asked as your palms suddenly grew damp. A heavy silence filled the room before Pinkie sighed.

“He moves on to the next girl in the blink of an eye,” he said while snapping his fingers. Your heart dropped.

“Trust me, sweetheart. He’ll get tired of ya in the next few days and drop ya off at God knows where,” Stew said before taking a drag on his joint. Your eyes burned as you clenched your fists.

“B-But I thought-“

“Yeah, every girl does,” Stew interrupted.

"Stew!" his groupie chastised him with a harsh glare.

"What? The girl deserves to know the truth. In fact..." his voice trailed off as his words reverberated inside your head.

Every girl does.

You found yourself on your feet, your mind in a hazy blur as your throat grew dry. All eyes were on you as you stared onward with wide eyes.

"I need to get some fresh air," you mumbled before clumsily making your way out the door. The fluorescent lights dimly lit the hallway as your heartrate spiked, your lungs burning as you took quick, shallow breaths. You steadied yourself against the dull brick wall before you heard a sudden thump. You perked your head up as the noise drew you out of your fugue. You gasped when you heard another thump, followed by a harsh slap and a high-pitched moan.

Your eyes widened as you gazed a the bathroom door nearby, the sounds of wet, rhythmic slapping making your stomach churn. Your mind screamed at you to not take a step closer, knowing exactly what was happening on the other side of that thin door...and yet you found yourself slowly inching forward. Your throat tightened when you heard Hobie speak into the unknown woman's ear.

"Didn't know my favorite girl liked it this rough," he rumbled before another slap rang out from the small room. Tear instantly fell down your cheeks as you held your hands over your mouth. You barely heard the woman moan in reply as you ran down the hall. You shook your head as you screamed at yourself.

"You should've known," a nasty voice inside your head rasped as you mindlessly rushed through the labyrinth of winding hallways. The spaces around you seemed to grow tighter as you eventually tripped over your feet. Your heart stopped as you caught yourself, your palms and kneecaps burning before you could faceplant into the pavement.

You choked out a loud, heavy sob as your fingernails scraped against the grimy floor. You couldn't stop the tears falling down your burning cheeks as you trembled incessantly.

You really held onto each and every word he said - every sentence holding a special place in your heart. All those times you stayed up late while he strummed on his guitar, the countless moments where love and passion seemed to seep between your two bodies...it became empty all too quickly.

You opened your eyes when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You sniffed as you slowly shifted, hissing as your scraped knees rubbed against the concrete floor. You glanced down to see your best friend calling you...someone you haven't spoken with since you hopped on that tour bus so many weeks ago. You tried to blink away several more hot tears as your phone shook in your hand. You sniffled again as you wiped at your nose before answering.

"H-Hello?" you asked. You heard your best friend pause.

"Oh my God," they breathed. Your heart clenched at their breathless words. You closed your eyes as you swallowed thickly. "(Y/N), where the hell have you been?!" your friend yelled, their voice cracking as if they were trying to hold back tears. You sniffed as you shifted in place.

"In Bristol," you replied. You heard them shuffle on the other end.

"Christ, we all thought you were dead!" they said. You flinched as you squeezed your phone.

"I-I know. I'm sorry," you apologized. You slowly blinked and tried to choke back a sob. "I...I'm sorry for never answering your texts or calls," you swallowed thickly. They sighed again before a long pause lingered between the two of you.

"It's...It's okay. I'm just glad to hear your voice again," they said. A small smile crept onto your face before another wave of anguish rolled through your chest. You gritted your teeth as you placed your other hand over your chest. "But seriously...where have you been?" they asked. You hesitantly glanced back, the bathroom door far out of sight as the tear in your heart ripped a little further. You took a deep breath as you wrapped an arm around yourself and slowly rose to your wobbling feet.

"I'll tell you all about it if you come pick me up," you stated as you tried to steady your voice. Your best friend paused again.

"When do you need me to come get you?" they asked. You fought the temptation to look back again as your throat tightened and eyes burned. You gulped and parted your lips.

"As soon as fucking possible," you replied.

----

Thank you for reading ❤️

Taglist: @maybethatfanfictionwriter @depressesoespressorat @yuhhtricki999 @lavenderbabu @thedevax @famouscattale @spktrgantenk @zombieblogx @mrswhitethornbelikov @migueloharastruelove @galaxy-dusk @samanthashadowriley @theloneshadow24 @xxkay15xx @inspace1 @manlikemilesmyguy @ghostslynx @synamonthy @oharasfilipinawife @scaleniusrm @jotarossshark @acotarobbsessed @8xbygirl @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @lyrasdrawer @rinverse

Want to be a part of my taglist? Comment down below! (MUST BE 18 OR OLDER)

[dipperscavern]

Who up pondering they orb rn? Dipper, that's who!

It's me, chonky, and I hereby request your finest 🔮 reading, please and thank you. Also, sorry for the oncoming wall of text.

As my self-proclaimed title suggests, I am chonky. I'd say I'm probably mid-sized actually but that's only really because I lost some weight when covid happened and the depression rolled in. Anyway, I think I'm 5'5/5'6 but I actually don't know so that's just an estimate based on how tall I am compared to my mom who's 5'11.

I'm biracial but my father's irish-italian genes colonized me so hard, my only afro-centric features I inherited from my mom is my nose, lips, and curly hair, textured around the 3a-3c mark depending on how agreeable my hair is.

I also used to speak spanish when I was way younger because I grew up around my mom's family and she's half puerto rican on her dad's side. Unfortunately, that got whitewashed too when me and my parents moved and I know longer know the language.

I'm from New Jersey but was primarily raised in the New England area of America. I'm (almost) 19 and unlike Jared, I did learn how to read and I enjoy it very much.

I love music of all kinds except country and k-pop is on really thin ice. I'm self-diagnosed autistic and incredibly socially awkward. I make a lot of race jokes but in the "white people can't season their damn food" way instead of the "racist remarks and racial slurs I can't reclaim" way. I'm here, I'm queer, and I really, really need a beer because these damn politicians are going to turn me into an alcoholic, I swear.

I'm a switch but I prefer to dom. Or at least I would. Unfortunately, I get no bitches for I have no rizz. I also have questionable taste in men and women because best believe, you put me in a room alone with Cersei Lannister, her brother (or her lover), Aegon Targaryen II, Aemond Targaryen, Alicent Hightower, or Criston Cole, all them bitches walking out pregnant and I will not apologize for that.

I think that's it. Sorry for the yapfest. All that not talking to people irl manifests into being a blabbermouth online.

-chonky anon

who up pondering they orb rn (me), ANYWAYS, come, dear chonky, and let my crystal friend tell us which man will you love until your timely end 🔮

hm… i see… who is that? no, seriously, who the hell in my orb rn?? OH A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE— excuse my french, that’s your brother jared. *i outstretch my hand, and a nearby unseen hamster gladly walks on it. i flip it, using its back to rub my eyes clean. you watch in horror as i finish my business, setting the hamster down, and returning my gaze to my crystal ball*

ah, that’s more like it. yes yes… i gaze upon (the first) king in the north, robb stark. the thing that solidified that for me was the race jokes 😭 he’d think you’re sooooo funny, and you remind him a lot of theon (whether or not that hurts his heart after theons betrayal, we’ll never know). and your attitude about politicians is exactly how robb feels 24/7. he’s a great battle strategist, but politics make his head hurt, and he’d love being able to complain with you. the part about being socially awkward and preferring not to speak with people much would tickle robb’s fancy at times, because he feels like he gets you allll to himself. and don’t even worry about the rizz!! robb is a-okay being the charming one, and relishes in being able to tease you all he likes <3

[thegeminisage]

THE VOYAGE HOME breakdown

i liveblogged this on the notes app on my phone bc i could not be bothered w tumblr while i watched it. 10/10 movie i love spock's little bandana

first scene was really rough bc they made us watch the enterpise blow up again. i did NOT like reliving that. she's a beautiful woman and i loved her

kirk being in trouble was so funny. like hes been in trouble in tos before but not THAT kind of trouble

did gasp aloud when they said vulcan exile. kirk spock and bones were on VULCAN EXILE for THREE MONTHS and you're telling me they didn't fuck. impossible. i have so much fanfiction to read

gasped when i saw spock far away on that cliff too. i went from watching the movie to doing whatever it is i do when i see spock on my screen. i was so instantly invested like 100x more than i had been previously. cathy made fun of me for calling it the spock movie but lo: there was spock

thrilled to see his mom again even though she fucking sucks. i thought she had died or something since she wasn't in search for spock lol he doesn't need that!!

me when they mentioned yorktown: omg another aos reference

i knew this movie was about whales but not in what capacity. so when the probe showed up we went back and forth for a really long time on whether this was The Whale. we were very impressed with its little laser

uhura remains the most beautiful woman to ever live. she gets hotter in every film idk how she does that

i liked when kirk gave bones a direct order to like "stay here" or whatever and he said with his mouth "no way" and followed him out anyway. fucking hilarious there's no use trying to hide behind rank anymore captain. their relationships have evolved so wonderfully <3

the time travel cgi was wack. idk what they were doing but it made me uncomfortable

"we can get back but only with NUCLEAR POWER" it's just like back to the future fr

spock's bandana.

i knew he wore it in this film because i have seen fanart and a couple of gifs but it was even better to see it in person as it were

spock was great in this film. unclear how much of his personal memories he had back, i would like to assume most of them? but back at factory settings nonetheless. i liked getting to watch jim and bones teach him to be "human" all over again, even down to jim asking to be CALLED jim, instead of by his title. i have a feeling we're gonna get a lot of that with data in tng and knowing i will love data is all that makes it possible for me to part from spock. spock failing at swearing, being bad at lying, being bad at loving italian - bones said he wasn't firing on all thrusters and he was right, but he's still competent enough to get them back to their own year. i also really liked him knocking out the dude with the radio lol. AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED which would have been ridiculous for anyone but spock.

whaling videos sad. i do love that this movie was pro-whale propaganda...i feel like we got a lot of that in the late 80s/early 90s, so maybe whales really WERE gonna go extinct and we saved them thru the power of cheesy movies. one likes to dream

kirk is losing his touch as a honeypot. he so throughly failed to seduce this biologist it's embarrassing. she only cares about whales, dude.

scotty hunting and pecking on the keyboard at the speed of light is me fr. i never learned to touch type and now i have a role model. i mean you can't expect HIM to touch type he's missing a fucking finger

giving the molecule to those guys early is ALSO an aos reference. this is where spock got the idea in the 2009 movie i bet :(

chekov being russian when he got caught is both more hilarious and more distressing, like. considering.

"he is a man of deep feelings" on vulcan this counts as a slur

extremely skeptical of them taking the whale biologist until she pointed out that if whales were extinct there would be no whale biologists in the future and so they needed her. fair point, movie

i feel like movies just never have real water anymore. is that just me? 90s movies had water all the time and these days you never see any real water. shit's expensive. they just cgi it.

THEIR SWIM PARTY CELEBRATIONNNN it was so good. jim dunking people in the water but also william shatner would have drowned in leonard nimoy wasn't holding him up lol that shit looked choppy as hell

i recognized their outfits at the trial all together like that from the photo in aos...made me sad

GIVING JIM THE CAPTAINCY BACK...god FINALLY. the sheer hell he goes through as a retired man...let him work...

i wasn't gonna cry during this movie but when spock said i feel fine i did in fact: cry. HE FEELS FINE.

AND FINALLY. ENTERPRISE BEING BACK. perfect touch to a perfect movie

tonight we start tng (we're going in release order) and i am sooo nervous to leave them but at least we have two more tos movies left so it'll be a gradual transition...ik im gonna like tng but i don't think i'll ever love any star trek character more than i love spock. hes everything to me!!!

[mistysharks]

Continuation of my Cis!Swap Steddie thoughts (thank you for all the likes <3<3 )

Ok so the thing we (or at least I) love so much about Steve and Eddie are their dualities, right? Steve, with his fucking fantastic character arc and Eddie being a secret big softie In this verse, I think it goes a little like this Stevie falls in love. Instead of Nance, though, its Jonathan. Her reasoning for dating him, when Carol asks in that sneering way of hers, is simple. Hes hot. He does exactly what she tells him, and she likes being his muse or whatever. For his photos. The real reason is that he's kind to her, and Stevie doesn't know what to do with that. Jonathan does like her too, in his own way. He's not blind, he knows she's beautiful, and he's always had a thing for powerful women. and so, he tries his very best to ignore her mean streak. make excuses. They sleep together for the first time the same night that Will goes missing, same kind of party, same kind of tension, and Jonathan understandably goes a little crazy with guilt. The rest goes as you might remember, Jonathan and Nancy start to investigate, and Stevie doesn't mean to be distant, but also has no idea what to do. She's never known how to be the support, since nobody's ever done that for her. not really. The local cinema still ends up advertising Nancy the slut wheeler, and in the alley, its Nancy who gets called the slur. Nancy who starts the fight, though its a quick one. A clean break of Stevies nose, well deserved, well remembered. Her nose never quite heals right, a little crooked now, a constant reminder of the imperfections of the Queen of Hawkins High. Much later, when Jonathan finally calls bullshit, he does it sober, but it doesn't hurt any less. So, Stevie tries to be better. Taps into an older-sister attitude she never knew she had, and becomes the protector and best friend of a group of wild kids with way too much trauma for their age. When Dustin asks her how to talk to girls, she gives the same advice though - act like you don't care - Because it had always worked on her, after all. ---- Eddie makes friends by being ruthless, too. Fights tooth and nail to be "one of the boys" with the local nerds, pulls down their gatekeeping walls one by one by showing them that she's not just some girl. She's Eddie the freak Munson, and she's here to destroy whatever monster you throw her way, be it DND or the corridors of high school. With her leather jackets and spiked bracelets, people slowly get the message. Hellfire Club isn't her idea - but she worms herself into the group by being crass and a little stupid and most of all entertaining, pulling out all the stop she learned from drama class, and it works. And its great! She's finally found some role models that she actually cares to look up to, who welcome her in as well. With these guys, she can make tolkien references and goblin jokes and they don't just get it, they laugh.

Soon, they even forget that she's not one of the boys. In fact, they forget it so well that they start talking about girls, even when she's right there. And she doesn't hate it at first, cause yeah, there's definitely been some stirrings of trouble associated with pretty girls for her but she's not ready to have that thought yet only... She starts realizing that the nature of their talk, the way they joke? its... not kind. Its not that Eddie can't take a bit of swearing or crass talk or whatever, but its the way they talk about the girls, like they're not even people. Like they are either fantasies to leer at or bitches to scoff at and all she can think of is Chrissy Cunningham, who had smiled and told her she really liked the buzzcut. Who was the only one who had.

And if those really are the only options for a girl - hot or bitch, what the hell was she?

Part 3!

[phantom-ellie]

List of Works/Links

Hi all! Here is any information you might want to know such as links to other social media and a list of works. All works are also available on ao3. If any links don't work, please check out my ao3 instead. Fics there are organized into the same series they are here.

Links:

My Linktree

Note: Chapter fics have a special tag that goes with each one so you can find them that way if you don't want to click through here.

This fanfiction is tagged with the assumption that you have watched the show Our Flag Means Death and are okay with the canon content. All fics are tagged for triggers beyond what is shown in the original show. For example, I will not be tagging fics for swearing and alcohol use because the original show has plenty of it.

Golden Age of Piracy Series:

These are stand-alone fics that take place in the OFMD canon universe.

Temet Nosce (#ellie tn): Summary: A Stede Bonnet character study/reunion fic that explores the frequent references in the show to Stede being someone less than human. Stream of consciousness writing with a surrealist bent. 7 chapters, 14k words, complete. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.

The Man who has Never Felt Anything (#ellie mwnfa): Summary: Stream of consciousness Stede POV of being stabbed in episode 3 and episode 4. Created for #Whumptober2022 and #ofmdskeletoncrew. 4 chapters, 2.5k words. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.

The Man who Forgot (#ellie mwf): Summary: Ed POV Stream of Consciousness about forgetting to get Stede down from the mast, and the aftermath. A close to a portrayal about thinking with ADHD as I can get. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.

The Full Experience: Summary: Based on a post by @snake-snack-stede,​ Black Pete learns what Blackbeard did to Lucius and does not react as expected. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.

To Wit: Macarena!: Summary: Crack one-shot. Ed teaches Stede the Macarena. Things go exactly as planned. 1.6k words. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.

Modern AU Series:

These are my stand-alone fics that take place in a Modern AU.

Apologetics: Summary: Based on the pina coladas SMAU by @faeeebaeee. Takes place in 1987 after Stede chose Mary. Stede POV. 1k words. Content Warnings: None

The Art of (Smashing) Crockery (#ellie aosc): Summary: Modern AU where Ed owns a rage room and Stede has a lot to rage about. 30 chapters, 58k words, complete. Content Warnings: Homophobia/Bullying/Slurs (from Badmintons/Stede's father), Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Alcohol Abuse, Hospitalisation, Mental Illness

Slowvember 2022: Black Pandather: WaPandas Forever: Pandas (The Art of Smashing Crockery) Voicemail Fail: Lazy River (Doubt Thou the Stars) Stede's Friends Make Better Floral Choices Challenge: Flowers (a little louder) Room People: Lazy Sunday (The Vacation) Pick your Own Fruit (As long as it's Stede): Pick Your Own Fruit (Mismatched) the tastiest of nuts: Farmer’s Market (The Camera Loves You, Baby) If the Kraken aint happy, aint Nobody’s Happy - Beach Day (The Legend of Blackbeard) Emergency Contact: Sickfic/Nursing a Boo-Boo (like ghosts to trouble heaven)

Let Me Solo Him!

An adaptation of the Scott Pilgrim comics. Stede returns to the Revenge and discovers that he must defeat each of Ed's pirate ex-boyfriends in order to be with him forever. 6 parts.

Full Series List Volume 1: Stede Bonnet's Precious Little Life Volume 2: Stede Bonnet vs the World Volume 3: Stede Bonnet & the Infinite Sadness Volume 4: Stede Bonnet Gets it Together Volume 5: Stede Bonnet vs the Universe Volume 6: Stede Bonnet's Finest Hour Tag: ellie lmsh

Our Flag Means Stupid Bad Sex:

This series of ficlets take kinks from prompt lists and makes them as unsexy/stupid as possible.

Our Flag Means Stupid Bad Sex - Thread with list of all chapters, kinks, and pairings. Tag: #ellie stupid bad sex

OFMD Poetry:

I like to experiment with poetry. Here are all of my poems:

Poetry Work List Tag: #ellie ofmd poetry

[pokingfunatreality]

22/09/2023

Hey…Listen up. This message is not meant for public proclamation. It is solely MY personal observations within MY school, MY community, and MY society. It is NOT a generalization applicable to everyone and will never be one.

I mean, seriously, it's like, ugh, you won't believe how the guys at my school just toss slurs around like they're going out of style. And it's not even like there's any context or reason for it. It's getting really exhausting, you know? I'm only 13, but it's like, come on, we can do better than this.

I happen to study in an Indian school (outside India & US for that matter), and, I swear, it's not just the slurs – they sexualize EVERYTHING. Like, seriously, there's not a single class or period where I won't hear something inappropriate. It's like they can't have a normal conversation without making it all about that stuff. I'm just trying to learn and not feel uncomfortable all the time, you know?

Is this a trend now ? making people uncomfortable ? Ofc, it’s not everyone. It’s never everyone. There are boys who know not to cross the line. But the other? They don’t know when to STOP. 

Oh, and on the bus, it's even worse. There are four teen boys, including me, the only teen girl. One of the guys, this one dude, not only makes me feel super uncomfortable, but he also drives the other three guys away, making them sit elsewhere. It's like he's making it extra awkward for me, and I. AM. DONE. 

The others are fine, they try to stop him from doing too much. Besides, why would you moan in front of 3 year olds? At least leave them alone. At least leave them alone. It's like this guy has zero sense of decency, and it's driving me crazy. It's like a daily challenge to deal with this guy's nonsense.

Is this normal ? Does this happen everywhere else as well?

[herzblutballade]

Songfic-Ficlets: Save Yourself (Part 1)

Language: English Genre: Fluff Characters: Cae & @marmeltier's OC Cynthia

Prompt: from "Save Yourself" by My Darkest Days

CN: Alcohol intoxication; drunk rambling, incl. a suggestion that might be mistaken for flirting; idk how to properly CN this but Cae at this point has this tendency to put the few nice people in his life on a pedestal and idealize them, sometimes to an uncomfortable extent, due to intense self-hatred and an inability to understand/accept that being around him could ever be beneficial to anyone, so watch out for that if that's something you find uncomfortable to read (I know I do sometimes)

Author's Note: Some more pre-relationship Cae/Cyn Fluff with a bittersweet edge to it I guess. I have more ficlets about these two inspired by the same song coming up btw! And no, this text (which I wrote way before any Whumpuary writing) was not meant to mirror the last one I wrote about them, but it somehow vaguely does, idk. Enjoy <3

You’re an angel with a haunted heart If you’re smart, you’ll run and protect yourself From the demon living in the dark

Sometimes, you find it hard to believe that Cynthia is not an angel.

The rational part of you knows that she isn’t; while you’re far from an expert on angels, you learned quite a bit about them growing up with a religious dad, you’ve even known an angel personally before, and you’re pretty sure there aren’t any actual signs that Cynthia might be anything other than an elf turned vampire — an earthly being just like you, although an exceptionally wondrous one.

But there’s another part of you that refuses to believe she could be anything but heavenly; that anything but divine intervention could possibly be responsible for a personified miracle like her finding its way into your life and deciding to stay by your side for some reason you can’t even begin to fathom.

»If you were smart«, you murmur, too drunk to think twice before you speak, »you would run from me, you know.«

Cynthia laughs, and the sound sends the best kind of tingle through your body, spreading from your chest all the way to your stomach. »Are you calling me stupid?«, she teases. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling down at you. You can tell by the way she looks at you that she’s much less tipsy than you and highly amused by your drunkenness.

»’Course not«, you groan, pinching the bridge of your nose with two fingers while squeezing your eyes shut. »You know exactly what I mean.« You can already feel the headache creeping in; you will definitely have some regrets tomorrow, but you don’t want to think about that yet, so you turn around to face Cynthia. Her lovely face is always a good distraction, even when you’re seeing double, one image melting into the other. »It’s just … You’re amazing, Cindy. The absolute best. You deserve the fucking world.« You let out a deep sigh. »And I’ve got demons you shouldn’t have to deal with.«

»You’re drunk, Cae.« She still seems amused, mostly lighthearted, but there’s a subtle serious edge to her voice when she says: »Go get some sleep and let the amazing Cindy decide for herself whose demons get to haunt her.«

»That makes so much sense«, you reply, slurring your speech, words trailing off into a yawn. You didn’t realize how exhausted you were until she mentioned sleep. »You’re probably right.«

A cheeky grin tugs at her lips. »Of course I am.«

»Will you stay the night anyway?« Again, the words are out before you’ve fully thought them through, and once you realize what they could imply, you hastily add: »In the guest room, I mean. Stay the night in the guest room.«

You both laugh, and for a fleeting moment, you could swear that she’s blushing, but you can’t quite tell when your vision is blurred and your senses are dulled by the pleasant buzz of alcohol, and it’s probably wishful thinking anyway.

»I will.« She presses a quick kiss to your cheek as she gently covers you with your blanket. »Good night, Cae. Come over if you need anything, alright?«

Angel or not, Cynthia must be god-sent. She might just be the best friend life has ever blessed you with.

[musings-and-moans]

homewrecker

submission for: @cirigiri's The DILF List Collab (DILF #17 — the friend’s husband) AND for iwaizumi's birthday on the 10th of june. also, this is part 1, part 2 is coming out on the 21st, and part 3 during kinktober <3

features: friend's husband!hajime iwaizumi x mrs. oikawa!f!reader (afab!reader, uses she/her pronouns) | song: homewrecker - marina | wc: 4185 | part 2 | part 3

summary: while hajime iwaizumi is a highly successful athletic trainer, his marriage is in disarray. his wife ended up cheating on him even after having a son, kaito iwaizumi, when she went on a business trip to argentina; with his best buddy, tooru oikawa, of all people. he wasn't the only one who had been duped, though. so were you, tooru oikawa's wife, and with a daughter, melina jose oikawa. you remembered your pent-up sentiments for hajime while comforting each other, and things start to take a spicy turn. | visual inspiration: this artwork by @/novak.rouge on instagram (@beware-of-the-rogue the way you and ella have spoiled me xD) and serena mendoza is inspired by serena van der woodsen from gossip girl (yes i love that show gtfo my case lol /j /lh)

beta readers: @mrskenmakozume @sweetsbysatori (your inputs are so so valuable ilysm <333) | networks: @tokyometronetwork @hanayanetwork

brainstorming: @mxonigirimiya (this wouldn't have been possible without you so thank you so so much *sobs* <33)

content warnings: hq timeskip spoilers, themes of infidelity, suggestive tones, angst, hurt/comfort, usage of swear words (this is so not me lol, i just had a rough couple of days, and this is me venting lol), serena's called a bitch, paparazzi, mentions of body insecurity/dysmorphia (but not reader), the reader having symptoms of depression including having trouble with eating, mentions of consumption of alcohol, sexual tension, slightly dubcon (if you squint at the end) 'cause iwaizumi's speaking in a slurred voice, please lmk if i miss out on any tags

a/n: this took me a lot of while to come up with this lol, because it's writing about my kinnie in a bad light, but it's only for the sake of the plot y'all. but i honestly loved writing this, i'd been in a bad mood off late and i needed to vent out. also, please note that i don't ever condone cheating. as always, likes, comments & reblogs, especially reblogs are appreciated. also, minors please dni, i will block you.

9th May 2021. 7:00pm, San Juan, Argentina

The waves from the cerulean sea kissed your toes as you were sitting near the shoreline in Del Bono with your elbows on the clear sand. The incandescent moon shone light on your shimmery silver dress and sand-covered feet which had become sore after running away from the izakaya after one of your colleagues shared the news where you learned that your husband, the setter of Club Atletico San Juan, Tooru Oikawa, was rumored to have cheated on you with your best friend since university, Serena Mendoza. You heaved a long drawn sigh as you felt something punching your gut as you then sat up with your hands hugging your stomach, writhing in agony, and tears welling in your eyes. Your heart broke for your daughter, as you wondered whether she heard the news about her father, and wondered whether her classmates would eventually make fun of her. She was at no fault of this at all, but was unnecessarily caught in this crossfire. 

Wiping the tears from your waterline, for a moment you think about Serena, one of the richest, most popular and good looking girls at the University of California at Irvine, who became your best friend over your course of study at the university. She was regarded as one of the most beautiful girls in your university. Everyone wanted to be her, some wanted to be with her, and you, (Y/N) (L/N), having moved to the States from Japan, had considered yourself very lucky to befriend her. 

The day after you two graduated from uni, you two were lying on one of the sands of the California beaches. You let the sand below you cling to you as you wore a swimsuit with every inch of the fabric hugging your skin especially after you’d gone for a swim, while Serena wore her black V-neck one-piece swimsuit, her body and her long, wavy blonde locks basked in the glory of the sunshine, waiting for you to get back. As you two were lying down, soaking in the sun, Serena said, “You know something? Someday, it would be nice for us to get married to a pair of best friends, wouldn’t it?” As the water kisses your feet, you turn to Serena and add, “Famous best friends, maybe? And if we end up getting a high profile job too, someday we wouldn’t have to worry about our life, y’know? ‘Cause we’d be living a life of luxury,” chuckling amongst yourselves.

Boy, how you were wrong.

10th May 2021. 7:00am, Tokyo, Japan

“We now begin this special program with breaking news as we see clips showing the well known setter for the San Juan Volleyball Team, Tooru Oikawa, walking out of his hotel with someone other than his wife. Sources say…”

As Iwaizumi was told by Atsumu Miya, one of his athletes that he was training for the Olympics, to watch the news online through his iPad,  the world came to a standstill for him. He was beyond disbelief, seeing his wife and the mother of their son, as the mystery woman who was scuttling inside the hotel with Oikawa’s arm around her waist as he kissed her on her lips. He could make out that it was Serena through her blonde tresses, and the emerald earrings that he gave her for their anniversary.

“Haji,” he heard her calling for him once more, interrupting his train of thought, but the voice that once brought him joy now wrung his heart, causing him to be in profound agony. He turned in the direction of the gradually unfamiliar voice as he noticed Serena walking out of their bedroom in her work attire. She’d seen a little frantic, when she asked him, “Haji, where’s our son?” Furrowing his eyebrows at her, the athletic trainer responded, “That’s not something you needed to know,” then shrugged his shoulders to continue, “given that you don’t care for him anyway, but I’d already contacted my parents to take him in.” Serena widened her eyes in shock, raising her voice, “How dare you! He’s our son! How dare you make such decisions without consulting me?” 

Approaching her, Hajime confronted his wife, and replied, “Serena, you lost that right. Not when you chose to go to Buenos Aires for the trip. You lost the right to call me your husband and Kaito as our son, when you decided to fuck my best friend,” raising his voice at the end and pointing a finger towards her. Serena’s mouth gaped wide open as he told her, “Atsumu showed me the news. That bastard woke me up at 7am! I’m glad that he did though, because you cheated on me, and betrayed your best friend, by sleeping with my asshole of a best friend! Oh my god, do you have any idea what she must be going through?” In the midst of the long argument, initially she kept denying it, saying, “No, Haji, that’s so not true. I just met him and caught up with him. That’s all,” and she kept trying to change the topic, but fate wasn’t on her side as she got a ping on the phone from Oikawa. He snatched the phone from her and then saw a notification from the beguiling devil himself. As he opened the phone, the text gave him enough reasonable doubt to confirm his suspicions:

“Serena-chan, what are we gonna do? (Y/N)-chan hasn't seen the news yet, has Iwa-chan? How are we going to explain this without getting caught?”

His olive-green irises started seeing red, but instead of deciding to lash out at Serena, which even she expected, an idea sparked into his head. He took a deep breath and he then proceeded to dial your number. As you lifted the phone, he was met with your ragged breaths and sniffles, as you replied with a lump in your throat, “Hello, Iwaizumi?” For a moment, when he heard you, he felt your heart break along with his, but he knew he had to be strong for the both of you. 

He’d known you and Serena since the time you three studied together in Irvine. You and Iwaizumi did not have much in common, but you two were willing to be a part of each other’s interests. You two would watch Godzilla together while you would take him along with Serena out on a drive. Whether it was playing volleyball, playing in the arcade, or sipping on some horchata while gorging on some tacos, you loved to hang outdoors. You two slowly started to become thick as thieves, and you started to have feelings for him.

However, when he confessed one day that he had feelings for Serena, it caused your heart to break inside and you were a little jealous of her, but you had kept all the negativity aside, resigning yourself to thinking that he would never be interested in you to begin with. So, when Oikawa dropped by to visit Iwaizumi, the former ace introduced you to his childhood best friend who started shadowing his idol, the former setter-turned-coach Jose Blanco, when he joined the Club Atletico San Juan, one of the most popular teams in the Argentinian Volleyball Federation.

Tooru had once come across as smug initially, but he eventually captured your heart over you two having a lot more in common with each other, and you had similar experiences growing up. You two eventually fell in love with each other, and you and Tooru and Serena and Hajime got married on the same day. While Hajime and Serena worked in the States, the former gaining American citizenship, you had worked with Serena for a while, until you and Oikawa moved to Argentina, with him gaining Argentinian citizenship.

“Hi, it’s… been a while, hasn’t it?” Iwaizumi asked you, in a softer tone, causing Serena to open her mouth in shock. Taking a long drawn breath, you responded with a quivering voice, “It has, but it’s sad we’re talking under these circumstances.” He nodded, inquiring while Serena widened her eyes, “When did you find out?” Drooping your shoulders, you continued, “I was at an izakaya with my co-workers after we had a successful presentation. Before coming here, it felt really awkward. Many of my co-workers were giving me weird looks throughout the day, until some of them decided to treat me to a drink in the evening. You know that she and I decided to be colleagues in the American Volleyball Association where Kuroo-san referred us before I transferred to Argentina, right? So, I contacted my boss after knowing the news and he granted me permission to work from home. I’ve never done this, Iwa! I take pride in going to work everyday, and I just…” 

You couldn’t speak anymore because you’d started sobbing, smearing your makeup. Iwa repeatedly called your name to calm you down, while flashing his hand at Serena to stop her from walking towards him. Having gained your attention, you replied, “I don’t know what to do, I’m going to be booking a cab home as of now.” He then interrupted you by saying, “Before you do that, I think you need to call Oikawa. This needs to be talked about.” Your eyes widened as fear and anger gripped you, snarking, “wait, is that bitch here?” He hummed in response, causing you to respond, “you know what? Let’s do that. Also, please put the phone on speaker.” 

While Serena does not move an inch, Hajime put the phone in front of him and turned on the speaker, while side-eyeing at her. After a couple of minutes, a familiar voice was heard out loud. “Ola, mi amõr. What's up? Practice is wrapping up, so I’m on my way home. What do you want for dinner?” The whole room could sense that he was acting like nothing happened. Then you continued, “Tooru, I saw the news. I know that you’re having an affair with Serena.” An uncomfortable silence lingered in the room, before Oikawa breaks it, replying in an act of defiance, “Baby, it's not what it looks like,” when Hajime chimed in, exclaiming with seething rage, “So what is it then, Shittykawa, ‘cause it looks like you're all over my wife!” 

Serena then cried out, “Tooru, I did not tell him anything,” with you interrupting her, saying, “Shut up, bitch, no one wants to listen to you!” Tooru was shocked, and he softly replied, “Mi amor, can we talk about this by ourselves, at home? I’m so sorry–” Shaking your head, you retorted, “Nah. You’re only sorry that you got caught. So, either we can’t talk about it at all, or we can talk about it now since you decided to embarrass not just yourself, but all four of us on an international stage. Do you know how many weird looks I got today? Huh? I'd have to call my boss for some days off or to work from home, because paparazzi would probably be fucking hounding my office, putting my job at risk, so I'm at the beach, and I’ll be going back home now, and I’m sure the cameras have reached there too,” you shrug and raise your voice, continuing, “packing our bags, and taking Melina with me to Tokyo, where you’re not going to follow me, do you understand, Oikawa?” 

During this time, Oikawa gets a call from Jose Blanco, his coach, and Iwaizumi from Fuki Hibarida, the coach of the Japanese National Volleyball Team. Both of them were urged to put the phone via a conference call, where everyone was present. You muted your side of the call out of respect but didn't cut the call. Instead, you got up, rustled your dress, and booked a cab home. “Oikawa,” Blanco spoke first, “you’re our most important player in the team, so how is it that your dirty laundry is now aired?” Hibarida continued, “we’ve decided to arrange the conference call, because one, we know that you two have been friends growing up, so this better be fixed somehow, and two, the Olympics are on the way and we don’t want any bad press to affect our games. So, you two better fucking get it together or both of you're off your respective teams, because we're not going to risk our image by being associated with that mess.” Nodding with a single tear streaming down his cheek, Hajime responded, “We are so sorry, Hibarida-san and Blanco-san for all the chaos that’s been happening. I’ll be organizing a press conference tomorrow and come clean. I hope Oikawa does the same, because a lot is at stake here, including our friendship, which has already gone to the dogs. Have a good day, both of you.” 

When both of them hung up, you unmuted yourself and continued speaking, “I’m home now. I’m telling our daughter  that we’re taking an impromptu trip to her grandparents’ place, in Miyagi. Hajime, since our parents live nearby, why don’t you bring your son there?” With a soft smile on his face, he replied, “Already did that, (y/n). It will be nice for our kids to bond. Where will you be staying?” 

“I’ll be staying over at a friend’s place,” you continued, “We’ll be in touch, Haji. But before I hang up, I want to ask the both of you something. Tooru, what did she give you that I couldn't? Serena, what did he give you that Hajime couldn’t provide? What could have been so lacking in our respective marriages, that you, Tooru sought it out in not just any woman, but the wife of your best friend for almost 2 decades? The same question goes to you too, Serena.” Both of them sheepishly replied, “I don't know,” making both you and Iwaizumi even more furious. You then hung up and tried to find a way to collect your emotions and move out to a friend’s place with your daughter before you move back to Tokyo the next day.

On the following day, Hajime and Tooru organized a press conference at their respective places, and Tooru was the first to speak, “Good evening everyone. This press conference is being held to come clean and ensure that our Olympic game is not jeopardized. The rumors are true: I did have an affair with Iwaizumi's wife. All of us have known each other since college days, and Iwaizumi and I grew up together. So, this in no way excuses my actions, or our actions. We were drunk, we acted impulsively without thinking about the impact it would have on our partners We are sorry—not only to everyone we disappointed, but especially to our partners whom we betrayed in one of the most intimate ways. Having said that, it was a one time thing that never should have happened, and all we can do is ask for forgiveness,” half-lying in the end. Then Hajime continued, “Our families request privacy as we figure out how to move forward after this scandal. So, I hope that all of you will respect our decisions in this matter. And to those who are fans of the team and of the sport of volleyball, I request that this isolated incident should not affect your love for it at all. Above all, we’ll always be fans of the sport, no matter what. The press conference ends here.”

Days have passed since you moved out of Argentina back to Tokyo, and you and Hajime had told Serena and Tooru that you two were separating from the both of them. Upon reaching Tokyo, you’d contacted your childhood friend, Tetsuro Kuroo, who was now a sports promoter at the Japan Volleyball Association, who gave you a separate house to live in for a couple of days, and was even willing to refer you for a spot in the JVA, should you wanted to come back to work. You responded, saying that you would think it over. In the meantime, Iwaizumi moved out of the house and contacted his other best friends, Issei Matsukawa and Hanamaki Takahiro. “Bro, we’re really sorry that that happened and you can stay with either one of us,” Mattsun replied over the phone, “however, Oikawa was lying about one thing. It was not a one time thing, Iwaizumi. They’d been sleeping with each other even when you all were just dating.” Hajime felt a sinking feeling within him when he learnt of the dirty little secret.

Despite all the four settling with each other in different countries, Oikawa and Serena had a secret that neither Hajime nor you were aware of. Even though Tooru and Serena loved you two a lot, enough to want to start families  with the both of you, they loved each other differently. The secret glances they shared, the trips they would secretly take to meet each other, the marks they had to hide and everything else surrounding their years of tryst were oblivious to you two. They were never caught, except by some of his Argentinian friends who tried to convince him to stop the affair, until now. Mattsun had eventually learned of this the month before the press leak, when he ended up snooping through Oikawa’s phone when he’d come to Japan for some time before the Olympics. Mattsun told Makki and while the both of them confronted Oikawa and told him to inform Hajime, he said that he would, but since they knew that he wouldn’t, Makki left an anonymous tip to the press who started tracking them, hence the press leak. The day of the press leak, Oikawa lost his cool when he saw the only DM from Makki ‘cause they’d usually talk over the phone: “I hope you enjoy explaining your affair to the press, Oikawa :D”

The first few days went by very drearily, causing you to weep profusely. This affected you so much that it caused you to have sleepless nights and bouts of overeating and not eating at all. You were scared to go to work again so after a couple of days, you contacted your boss saying that you wanted to work from home until the situation died down. So, you started slowly gaining your energy back, and with employing a couple of self-care options, you were slowly feeling better yourself. This didn’t stop you from suddenly thinking about the whole situation without it constantly pricking you. You’d told Tooru that you wanted to be separated and you wanted time to think for yourself and the custody of your daughter. It was especially hard when you’d be in touch with your daughter and you were not able to say anything to her just yet. She may have your hair and your features but she had Tooru’s eyes, and it pained you to see her brown irises  and be reminded of him.

With Hajime, it was different. 

In any case, he kept to himself anyway. Nonetheless, people did still know him as an athletic trainer, and through a couple of viral videos of him working out, he was also referred to as a “DILF.” He never missed looking in the mirror since he started working out consciously and living a healthy lifestyle, and he was proud to see his muscle mass growing in the right places. As he raked his fingers through his hair, he would flex his biceps and admire the physique he was trying to build for himself. 

He was not ashamed of the way he looked. It may have bothered him that he was shorter than Tooru, but he was happy with how he lived. He was aware that Tooru was more popular with girls than he was. However, whenever Serena complimented him and told him that he still looked attractive and that she was lucky to be with him, he became much more at ease. But with her having cheated on him, he suddenly felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, realizing that she may have been lying. He suffered a significant blow to his self-confidence, not only as a partner but also as a parent and a person. The moments he felt like not working out, he would skip it, but would be chided by Mattsun, Makki, and you. 

Everyday you’d check in with Hajime to figure things out as to how you two would be able to cope with everything. You were able to convince one of your old friends who work in the grocery store to deliver the groceries to Hajime so he could avoid the paparazzi, and since Kuroo gets his groceries delivered anyway, you don't have to go out either. This wasn’t just to calm everything down, it's also to salvage your images because you didn’t want people to pity you as the left-behind partners. You two were much more than that. Because life had been kicking the both of you hard, while you two were occasional drinkers, your quantities eventually started increasing. You two somehow found a way to sneak to each other’s houses without garnering unwanted attention. Even if it was for a brief moment, you two indulged in a temporary escape with each other, ignoring the reality that was haunting the both of you. 

One day, at his house, when you two were watching a comedy movie while hogging on some popcorn together, while laughing, your hand subconsciously landed on his thigh and then your eyes turned to each other. Your heart started to beat faster as your eyes landed on his. Ragged breaths were echoed throughout the room, as he closed the laptop. As he was cupping your cheeks and drew your face closer, he asked you slowly, gentlemanly, “(y/n), can I please-” and as you were about to give in to the temptation, your phone buzzed causing you to jolt from your carnal trance as your daughter called you. Sensing that you needed time to think about all that just happened, you told him that you were leaving and that you’d meet him later. 

As you finish speaking with your daughter, while driving back home, your mind then lingers back to the first time when you first saw him at the university's recreation center, his dark brown, spiky hair caught your attention and then his green eyes which truly captured your attention. In discussing the intramural tournaments with him as you were interested in signing up, you found his toned figure attractive. You were standing at the registration desk when Serena grabbed your arm and whispered into your ear, “oooh, did you notice the dickprint on his shorts?  Because that looks so satisfying,” and you did notice a slight bulge in his shorts as you glanced over at him.

He seemed to get the memo when your gaze meets his, as he winked at you, making your cheeks flush as you parted ways. Ever since then, over the years, whenever you touched yourself, as your fingers ran over your clit, everyday, even when you were married to Tooru, you still kept thinking of Hajime as you imagined him calling you, “baby,” as he thrusted himself inside you. You were scared to tell Serena about how you felt for him because they told you individually, and out of respect for both of them, you kept your feelings aside and you genuinely started to like Tooru, but you couldn’t stop thinking of Hajime. How could you? You were truly in love with him.

9th June, 2021. 11:30pm

You realized that it was Hajime’s birthday coming soon, and no sooner did you think about him, than you were immediately reminded of the moment you two had shared when you two almost kissed each other, causing your cheeks to fluster. You’d wanted him for so long, but never got to act on the feelings, but that day, when your lips were about to meet, you realized that you haven’t had sex in so long. Your marriage with Oikawa had fallen apart at its seams, and while you had been thinking of getting back to him for your daughter, that moment with Hajime made you realize that you’d rather have the athletic trainer more than the setter.

Having then downed a few glasses of wine, and craving to be intimate with him, you put your lacy underwear under Hajime’s oversized volleyball shirt, turned on your vibrator, placed it over your clit, and felt the vibrations run through you. Initially, you moved the tip of the toy slowly up your entrance before you let it enter you, then you increase the speed. You were fondling yourself, bursting out in a series of moans when you heard a knock at your door. As you awoke for a brief moment and wondered what was happening, you kept the vibrator on your bedside table. You ran to the door, opening it with your eyes wide and shocked at who was there. The former ace mumbles in a slurred voice, picking you up as he wraps your legs around his waist. He takes your cheeks to bring you closer and begins to kiss you.

© Shyna 2022 - reposting on any other platform is not allowed. likes, comments, and especially reblogs are appreciated. (taglist in next rb)

[taestefully-in-luv]

Love Again | PJM (Twelve)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 15.6k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (????!!!!!????!!!!), soft, soft sex, mention of pot brownie, dirty talk, jimin says ‘little slut’ lol, lots of kissing, ew intimacy, creampie, mention of cum eating, implied oral (male rec.) everyone’s having sex dude, lots of drama, lots of unsaid feelings and everyone being an idiot! 

Notes: sorry I took longer than usual! I hope you guys like this chapter:] thanks for being patient with me!  I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Love hearing from you guys<3  Send an ask if you want to be added to a tag list or just want to chat:) 

Previously on…in chapter 11 of Love again, Namjoon has offered you a relationship! You meet with Jin and Justine to learn more about Lucy’s past. Tension (not the bad kind) keeps rising with Jimin. You and Naomi meet with Lucy and learn the truth. Everyone’s busy for the weekend: Jeremy with dates, Naomi with friends, Hobi fake dating Dae for a work party but you and Jimin decide to eat a ‘special’ brownie and uh oh, you had sex. 

© Taestefully-in-luv

Previous---Next

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This might be one of the more awkward outings you have been a part of in a while—or ever. The atmosphere feels a little bit tense, so many pairs of eyes roaming around, never meeting one another. Something is obviously going on between like, everyone. But the only person who seems to be free, lively and so freaking oblivious is Taehyung. Bless Taehyung and his inability to read the room right now as he drunkenly declares you should all take shots. Again.

“Taehyung, you’re already shit faced, dude.” You reach for your water, “You realize if you take another shot you are absolutely going to throw up?”

“Eh, let him.” Dae shrugs from beside you, “He stole my chips the trip here and ate them all so this is kind of his karma, I’d like to believe.” 

“You want your brother to puke because he…ate your chips?” Hoseok raises a brow, “You truly are something.”

“That feels valid actually” You begin to agree, finally gulping back some of the water. 

“Of course you would be the first to agree with that.” Hoseok shakes his head, “The women I surround myself with…”

“Oh?” Dae looks a bit blank as she glances at Hoseok. “Am I woman you surround yourself—"

“Oh come on!” Taehyung drags out his words with an adorable slur, “Jeremy? I know you won’t let me drink alone right?”

“I’ll take a shot if my brothers take a shot too.” Jeremy grins at Hoseok and Jimin. “Forget the girls we don’t need them to have a good time.”

“We’re literally right here?” Naomi grumbles on the other side of Dae. “We should have gotten our own table at this point.”

“Ever since their weird ass boys thing—”

“Weird?!” Taehyung scoffs, but his own grin starts to show itself. “You’re all just jealous.”

“Totally. That’s what it is.” You comment with a straight face, “Anyway—”

“Are you…Taehyung, by chance?” A feminine voice cuts in, you all look in Taehyung’s direction when you see a girl standing next to him with her hand on his shoulder. “You probably don’t remember me but I’m pretty sure we went to college together.”

“Aeri?” Taehyung tilts his head, “Like, the girl who hooked up with Jungkook one time in my apartment bathroom?” 

“Oh!” The girl lights up, “So you do remember me!” 

Well, that’s one way to remember someone, you think.

“Yeah!” Taehyung’s grin widens, “You look kind of different though?”

“I think my hair was dark and short when you last saw me.” Aeri returns his smile with her own, her hand finally leaving his shoulder. “Which was so many years ago.” She giggles, stumbling a little bit in her spot. She looks drunk too. 

“No, that’s not it.” Taehyung waves her off, shaking his head slightly as he tries to think. “Oh! Last time I saw you was literally in the bathroom when you and Jungkook were…you know,” He winks now. “The thing that’s different is…clothes.” He says with a blank face while gesturing towards her and she widens her eyes before she laughs loudly.

“Oh yeah! You did walk in on us!”

“Does Taehyung just walk in on everyone having sex?” Hoseok laughs, shooting you a look when you glare at him. “I wonder if this chick stopped though unlike…” He trails off with a smirk, his hands motioning between you and Jimin. You want to kill him. 

“So how have you been?” Aeri slurs a little as she chats with Taehyung, “Are you still living here?”

“Nah, nah, nah.” Taehyung glances at the rest of you, “Just visiting my friends!” 

“Oh!” Aeri looks at you all now, smiling at everyone as she offers a greeting. “I know, I saw you from across the bar. You are like me!” She starts giggling cutely, hand back on his shoulder. “Fifth wheeling as the only single one in the group. That’s why I wanted to come say hi.” 

“Only…single?” Taehyung asks, confusion growing as he eyes you all. “Oh.” He sings out, “No, no! We’re all single actually. Trust me, no one in this group is gettin’ any.” He starts chuckling to himself. 

Aeri looks like the one who is confused now. “Really? Oh. I was so sure…” Her eyes find yours, “These two.” She points at you and at Jimin who sits across from you. “They’re a couple. And those two,” She points at Dae and Hoseok who sits across from her now. “They’re definitely a couple.” Now she points at Naomi and Jeremy, “And these two as well.”

“HA!” Naomi rolls her eyes, “Never in a fucking million years.” 

“Yeah, that’s got to be the joke of the fucking century. Right, Naomi?” Jeremy spits back with a smile. 

“I still don’t get what is up with them.” You say towards Hoseok and he nods. “But you’re wrong.” You say to Aeri before your eyes try to find Jimin’s but he avoids your gaze. Instead he reaches for his drink and takes a few sips, not even flinching as the alcohol runs down his throat, no doubt leaving a burn along the way. 

“No, I’m not.” Aeri drunkenly laughs, “I’m never wrong about these things.”

“Trust me, no one is gettin’ any.” Taehyung snorts. “y/n over here basically has a whole ass boyfriend and isn’t even gettin’ any.” 

Your insides start to twist at this mention but you try not to show it on your face.

Taehyung and Aeri are giggling when Taehyung lifts his drink and says, “Watch this! Hey everyone,” He looks at all of you with a confident smile. “Take a drink if you haven’t gotten laid in a while.” He wiggles his brows, even giving Aeri a cocky wink as he waits for you all to drink. But when Taehyung doesn’t see any hands reaching for drinks his cocky grin begins to falter. Aeri shrugs, her own cockiness showing now as she looks at him like it’s obvious. 

“Uh…” Taehyung begins lowering his drink. “Okay….” He mumbles unsure, “Take a drink if you…have…? Like, have gotten laid recently…?” 

Well, you and Jimin agreed you wouldn’t lie to anyone if the question was asked. And Taehyung kind of sort of has the exact question hanging in the air, waiting for an answer. You are the first to wrap your fingers around the glass that holds your mixed drink. You don’t look at anyone else as you bring it to your lips and take a sip. When you finally lift your eyes, they find Jimin who sits across from you and you see he is taking a sip of his drink as well. And then the dramatic ass gasp that leaves Taehyung’s lips can be heard and you glance around the table to see Hoseok and Dae have lifted their glasses as well as they drink back some of their alcohol…well, you knew about that already. But what surprises you is that Jeremy and Naomi are also sipping from their glasses.

“What?” Taehyung searches everyone’s eyes for answers. “You all…? Huh? Okay, okay.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes as he thinks for a moment. “How recent?” He looks at everyone again. No one says anything. “Okay…take a drink if it was like, a day ago.” 

No one drinks and Taehyung sighs in relief but he notices everyone looks weird as hell so he continues. “Okay…take a drink if it was one week…?” 

And then he dramatically gasps again as everyone awkwardly lifts their glasses, all eyes everywhere but each other. But then everyone does get a look at the other when too many pairs of eyes start widening. Taehyung points at his sister first, you are pointing at Naomi and Jeremy is pointing at Hoseok. Everyone’s looking real confused. 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!!!” Taehyung stands from his bar stool now, “What the fuck does that mean?” 

Yes, Taehyung, you think. What the fuck does it mean?

One week ago

The way Jimin’s lips rub against yours as his hips roll into you makes you feel the sort of intimacy that terrifies you but in this moment there is nothing scary…just you and Jimin and this dreamy connection that makes your body feel like it’s floating. 

You want to blame the brownie for this feeling but that high has already began to fade…only Jimin in your system at this point. And he didn’t lie. He is fucking you exactly how he said he would…he is fucking you the way you agreed, the way you chanted ‘yes’ over and over before you two even left for your bedroom. His words to you, his horrible, tragic, beautiful, dangerous and exceptional words that he whispered towards you on your couch. 

“You want to get fucked y/n? You want me to fuck you? Me, right? You want me to fuck you like you’re my little slut? Fucked like you never been fucked before? Maybe you need me to fuck you like I’ve always fucked you, huh? You need to get fucked like someone is so, so in love with you? That the kind of fucking you need, babe? Need me to fuck you as if I was so, so in love with you? You want to get fucked like that?”

You never said yes a million times as fast as that. And he didn’t lie…he is fucking you exactly like that. He said ‘as if I was’ but if you are honest…the way he is fucking you, you might believe it if he told you he was still in love with you. 

That is a ridiculous thought, you know. But every time his length slides in and out of you, hips rolling and eyes staying on yours…you feel that euphoria of being fucked in a way that feels like it is love. He’s just that good, you think. 

You’re both panting, lips connecting every few moments to kiss—kisses that are so slow and deep, tongues taking their time and your bottom lip getting pulled lightly between his teeth. Your fingers caress his cheeks and he leans his forehead against yours, soaking in every light touch your fingers give his skin—eyes closing in satisfaction because your touch is just pure magic. 

“I’m…” Jimin pauses, groaning in your mouth as he speeds up, thrusting just a little harder. “I’m going to come soon, babe.” 

“Yeah?” You moan when his thumb makes contact with your clit, he puts just the right amount of pressure, circling it expertly. 

“Mhm.” He nips at your lip, “Where do…” He releases a long breath, hips slamming into you just a bit harder. “Where should I…fuck, y/n, where should I—”

“We both know.” You whine. His thumb circles your clit faster, you feel your body start to tense, back arching as you prepare for what is to come.

Jimin’s eyes roll to the back of his head at what you are insinuating, satisfied with your response but he still prolongs his orgasm to ask you again. “Where baby?” 

“Jimin…” You mewl, your orgasm already on the brink of arrival…”Please.”

Before you and Jimin started to have sex again, he discarded the first condom…it was full of his cum already and was uncomfortable but you were quick to guide his member back to your hole that needed to be filled. He didn’t object at the idea of fucking you raw…

“You want me to fill you with my cum, hm?” He starts picking up his pace again, his face right over yours, noses brushing and lips rubbing against each other so messily. “You need that?”

“Jimin.” Your mouth hangs open, body tensing intensely as you feel this build up start to overwhelm you. “I’m going to…” You can’t even finish that sentence when his thumb works harder and his cock hits a certain spot inside you that feels almost heavenly. 

“Come for me babe.” He groans again. “Come for me, come for me like you always have.” 

His words and everything else are enough to make you feel the kind of warmth that a long, intense, drawn out orgasm could give. You walls start squeezing around him so tightly and he is losing his mind over you. You, how you feel, how you look, everything. 

“I’m going to…” His strokes don’t stop, regardless that he is about to come…his lips part when short, rapid breaths escape him. The moans he starts letting out as his cum shoots from the head of his cock and into the deepest parts of your core are so sinful. He doesn’t still his hips, he keeps fucking you but much more slowly, he pushes through to keep your orgasms intense and long. You might even come again when he whimpers—yes, whimpers at the feeling of fucking his cum into you. 

You’re both feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated but his hips rolls into you a few more times, his cries of pleasure keeping you from stopping him. One more pump, then another before Jimin is finally stilling himself. Quick breaths hitting your lips as your own chest heaves. Jimin’s thumb leaves you when he raises it to his lips and sucks on it before taking your face with his hand, cupping it gently and leaning in for more slow kisses. 

You kiss him back, lips moving over his as your hand reaches between your bodies and you carefully help him pull his cock out of you. Moaning into each other’s mouths when he’s finally no longer inside you and with his lips still connected to yours, he rolls over so you are laying side by side, still making out. 

The room is hot, bodies sweaty, your skin sticking to his so easily. You can’t even process how you definitely need to replace these sheets before bed because his lips are still on yours and they are so addicting. You’ve never felt more obsessed with a pair of lips than this moment. It’s almost as if neither of you are prepared for this moment to end—for this night to end. Almost like if you two never stop then you don’t have to ever face the reality…maybe tomorrow will never arrive. 

The kisses are slow and lazy and it sucks when you two finally pull away, foreheads resting against each other, soft breaths mingling. Jimin eyes you carefully, tenderly and you gaze back, both of you trying to communicate without saying words. 

But words need to be said. 

“Wow.” Jimin sighs out, “That was…” His voice gets a little quieter before a small smile pulls at his lips. “You’re very amazing.”

You crack a smile, “How amazing?”

“Most amazing.” Jimin quietly chuckles, leans in again to peck your lips. “What we just did…what we shared with one another just now…that’s rare.” He tells you, voice soft and almost careful.

“Rare?” You ask and he only hums in response. You don’t pry for an explanation and he doesn’t give one. Because you both know what he means. What you two just shared…the closeness, the connection, the intimacy…that is rare. 

You and Jimin clean up, change the sheets and put on some clothes to sleep. Even though you are both more sober now and you two have officially pulled away to do other things, the atmosphere in the room has not changed. The night is still this night. Tomorrow is not here yet and no thought comforts either of you more. 

You settle into your bed, blanket pulled up to your nose when Jimin slides in the sheets to lay next to you. It’s almost automatic how you scoot closer to him and he’s already welcoming you to lay your head on his chest. His arm wraps over you, stroking your arm softly. It is automatic when you nuzzle your face into his bare chest, inhaling his scent and listening closely for his heartbeat. 

There is no feeling quite like this. There might not even be a feeling that can top this. This is a feeling you want to drown in. This is a feeling you want to kill you. You’d be fine, dying in this feeling because it means it’s the last thing you ever felt and you will leave this life and enter the next one with this feeling. This fucking feeling. 

Even still, you are careful. Even with this feeling… you are careful. Careful because you have to be. Careful because you won’t be dying in this feeling…you will wake up tomorrow and this feeling is not allowed. So many words that could be said…between you and Jimin, there are millions of words that could stroke this feeling into something even more. But that is dangerous. So, you are careful. And so is he. 

Nothing is said for a long while…you think over an hour has passed by and you believe Jimin must be fast asleep. You on the other hand…you are witnessing the night end and tomorrow arriving. And because of a fact so simple as that…the thoughts of reality are starting to settle in your messy little mind. 

You aren’t even sure what to make of this entire night. What could it even mean? If it even means anything at all. Exes fall into each other’s beds all the time! This is not some rare instance…this is not some crazy thing that never happens. You know that, you get that. Feeling familiar with someone can be so, so dangerous. You are learning that. But that doesn’t always mean something deep. You know that too, you get that too. This is probably—

“Can’t sleep?” Jimin’s raspy voice slightly startles you, “Sorry.” He chuckles quietly. “I can tell you’re still awake.” He tells you, taking a pause before continuing. “Are you overthinking everything like me?”

You let silence linger for a moment before snuggling closer to him, “You know,” You whisper out, trying to gather your thoughts. “I’m supposed to give Namjoon an answer about me and him…I should be thinking about that. I should be having a lot of thoughts about that. But I’m here having no thoughts about it because I think you fucked those thoughts out of my head.” You scoff quietly at yourself. “Instead I am thinking about how tonight you gave me the best orgasms I have ever had in my life.”

“In your life?” Jimin asks, trying to stop his lips from curving into some sort of satisfied smile. 

“Yeah.” You hum, “I mean, don’t get me wrong…in the past you also gave me great orgasms but this was…I don’t know. I’m sure the last time we had sex I came hard too but this—”

“The last time…? The last time we had sex…?” Jimin’s soft voice is hushed. “y/n…do you not remember?”

“Remember what?”

“We didn’t come last time. The morning of my flight. We had sex but neither of us came.” He tells you, “We uh, we never got that far.” 

“Oh.” You blink, “That sounds like it sucks, sorry. No wonder you cried.” You can’t help but chuckle and he shakes his head.

“No. It was amazing.” He tells you quickly, “It was emotional, yeah…but even though I didn’t finish…I had never felt more satisfied at that time in my life. I just wanted to be close to you, y/n. As close as physically and emotionally as possible.” He nuzzles his face into the top of your head. “I felt so connected to you…that even in those moments of pleasure, even without climaxing, I felt so fucking good. And maybe it was just me…”

“What?”

“I didn’t even feel like I needed to finish…just having that connection with you…I felt like I was at the edge already, the edge of the Earth. And I jumped. I jumped and I drowned in you. You drowned me, y/n. Drowned me in every bit of love your body and soul could give me. It was one of the most powerful things I’ve experienced and yeah, I cried.” He chuckles, “I cried because I knew I would never have that again.” 

“Oh.”

“And when we decided to stop…and I left your body I don’t think I had ever felt more empty.”

You’re quiet. His words finding a spot in your mind, making themselves at home as you decide they are allowed to live there forever. You release a breath before finally deciding to respond. “Well,” You lift your head to look at him, the room just light enough from the almost rising sun that you two can lock eyes. He gazes at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something. “…I mean, technically wouldn’t it have been me who felt empty? You know,” you gesture towards your lady bits, “Since—”

Jimin snorts, laughing at your smart ass mouth and squeezing you to his body. “Yeah, yeah.”

Your face breaks into a small grin, “But uh, that was um, pretty.”

“Pretty?” Jimin quirks a brow. “What was?”

“Your words. Like poetry. Your words are pretty. Just like you.”

Jimin can’t help but lean more into the pillow and smile up at the ceiling now. “Pretty like the moon?”

“Like the moon.” You tell him, “But Jimin.” You glance over at the window, “The moon is no longer in the sky…and the sun is starting to take its place. A new day is arriving and…”

Jimin squeezes you even tighter towards him when he sighs out. “I know.” He whispers. “A new day means this day is over. And…”

“And the day that is over can’t bleed into tomorrow.” You finish for him. “You know?”

“I know.” Jimin sighs again, “But…can we pretend the sun doesn’t control our day? Just for now. Can we live in this night until we wake up and it is actually tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” You lay your head back down on his chest, “We can do that.” 

~

It’s after 1pm when you and Jimin finally wake up. It’s not necessarily awkward but there is an understanding between you both…and understanding that last night’s events were exactly that—last night’s events—and nothing more. You have reasons and he has reasons and neither of you really speak on those reasons but you both know they’re there and you both have them and that has to be enough. 

“Okay, I’ll get going.” Jimin starts gathering his things and makes his way towards your door to slide on his shoes. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” He smiles at you and his smile is making this weird, dangerous warmth start heating up your body. But you can’t show any sign that this heat is creeping up your neck, onto your cheeks and so on. 

“Yeah. Get home safe.” You return his smile, a smile so calm and careful. 

“I will.” Jimin nods at you, “See you.” 

And he is opening the door, turning his head to steal one last glance at you before walking through and closing the door behind him. 

Your eyes stay on your white wood door for a few seconds, your calm and careful smile still on your face when you finally release a long, long breath that you had been holding and your smile drops completely. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. That’s the only real words in your mind right now.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” And the only real words you’re even able to mutter at the moment. You blink repeatedly, eyes still on your door as the reality hits you hard. Oh fucking shit, you think. You finally turn towards the inside of your home and your legs are moving on their own as you start searching for your phone. You finally find the device stuck between the couch cushions and you are scrambling to unlock it and call the person you need to freaking call. Your one and only, your best friend. 

You wait on the line as it rings and rings and finally Hoseok answers.

“Hello?” 

“Hoseok!” You screech into the phone.

“Hi.” He sings, “Wait, hold on.” He tells you and you try to wait as patiently as possible. “Hey…Taehyung just got here. Me, him and Dae are going to grab some lunch before we get ready for Dae’s work party tonight. Can I call you later?”

“Oh my god.” You groan, “You being busy is ruining my life!”

“Dramatic as always. What’s up? What happened?”

“Nothing. Just call me later, okay? When do you get home?”

“Tomorrow afternoon!”

“Oh my god, just…” You groan again. “Whatever. Tell them I say hi. Have fun tonight, love you.”

“Will do. Love you with all my heart. See ya!” And then he’s quickly hanging up and leaving you to think about this all by yourself. 

~

It’s almost noon on Sunday now and you aren’t sure if Hoseok is home yet but you need to talk to him. Even if he’s still driving and it’s just over the phone. You’re desperate at this point. You’re sitting at your kitchen island, phone in your hands as you click on the screen to call him. This dude answers on the first ring. 

“Hoseok!—”

“—y/n!” 

You both yell at the same time, and neither of you waste another second or even wait for the other to just respond before you’re both yelling again.

“Code Red!” You shout in unison.

“What?” You ask, puzzled. “You’re Code Red?”

“You’re Code Red?” He asks on the other line. “Why are you Code Red?”

“No, why are you Code Red?”

“Holy fuck, why are we both—”

“Come over dude. I just got home, this is an emergency!” Hoseok shouts, “Fucking Code Red bro.”

“Trust me, I know it’s a fucking emergency dude!” 

“Hurry up.” 

~

You and Hoseok sit at his dining room table, looking and feeling antsy as hell. Legs shaking up and down, throats feeling dry, eyes boring into the other.

“You go first.” You look at Hoseok anxiously and he shakes his head quickly and motions for you to go first. “Okay.” You nod, “Let’s just go at the same time. Let’s just say whatever it is.” Hoseok nods now too, agreeing right away with the plan. “Okay, count of three. One…two…THREE!”

“I had sex with—”

“I had sex with—” You both shout but stop as soon as you both realize what you guys are saying.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Your eyes go wide. “Who the hell did you have sex with?”

Hoseok gives you an unimpressed look, “Oh come on, y/n. Who the hell do you think it was?!”

“Fair. But what?! How!? How did that…? You guys fucked for real?! You and…Dae?!” 

Hoseok shudders just at the mention of her name, “I don’t know how it happened!” He groans into his hands, “We just…I don’t know!” He yells out. 

“Were you guys like, really drunk at the party?!”

“Holy fuck this just keeps getting worse.” Hoseok’s lips set into a line. “We were fucking sober.” 

“Oh my god…” You can’t help but snort. “Come on Hobi…is this really such a surprise?” 

“YES?” He looks at you incredulously. “She is my frenemy!” 

“But you guys have fucked before!” “Because…because we had to!”

“…Had to?” You look at him with a straight face.

“Trust me, y/n. We had so much tension back then! After she beat me at the competition it only made sense that I fuck her?!?????”

“Oh my god…” You start laughing, “You’re so ridiculous. So what? She humiliated you again?? You had to what? Punish—” You can’t even finish that because you’re laughing harder now. 

“Ha-Ha!” Hoseok rolls his eyes and once you stop laughing Hoseok continues, voice a little quieter. “I was pretending to be her boyfriend, remember? Well, I don’t know, it felt nice…all the small things.” He mumbles with a pout. “And then she mentioned she felt like no one really believed us so I kissed her—”

“Of course you did.” You giggle, “Classic. What movie is this?” 

“Shut up.” Hoseok deadpans. “Anyway, we left and then yeah, we had sex.”

“And that’s Code Red?”

“It’s Code Red because I woke up early and bolted.” He says with a straight face and your jaw drops.

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“You are dumb as hell.” You say with an equally straight face. 

“She texted me and I tried explaining it was a mistake and you know, whatever, whatever.”

“Do you think it was a mistake?” 

“I don’t know!” He throws his hands up, “I’m so…I really don’t know!”

“Damn…”

“But anyway, I had sex with Dae but who the hell did you have sex with? That’s the real fucking question.”

Suddenly you’re quiet. Hoseok narrows his eyes at you and he tries studying your expression, doing his best to figure it out. “Okay…it can’t be Namjoon. No, because that wouldn’t be Code Red…you have been expecting to have sex with him so who…” Then his eyes are widening and his mouth opens and a dumb ass smile starts forming. “Oh my god.” He points at you. Fucking accusing you…”You fucked Jimin.” He says matter of fact. 

Your eyes get just as wide as he assumes correctly. You still don’t say anything and he’s losing it.

“You totally…oh my god, you fucked Jimin!” He’s still pointing at you, stupid ass grin on his face because he knows he is right. You continue to look shocked before you drop your head to the dining table before groaning and dramatically crying out.

“Oh my god…” You whine, “I totally fucked Jimin.” 

“Holy shit!” Hoseok still hasn’t closed his mouth, he’s…surprised but not surprised but like super surprised but also not. “Oh my god. You fucked Jimin, dude.” 

“I fucked Jimin, dude.” You start banging your head on the table. “I’m a Jimin fucker.”

Finally, Hoseok closes his mouth and scrunches his brows together. “For some reason I don’t like the way that sounds so let’s not say it that way again.” Then he breathes out, “But still…you fucked Jimin. This is crazy.”

You finally lift your head, eyes beginning to pool with worry. “It is crazy.” 

Hoseok notices you look a little off now as you stare at him and he softens, “Is it?”

“Yes.” You tell him simply, voice unsure. “It’s crazy for multiple reasons. And I feel like I don’t even have to tell you all the reasons because you can probably guess. And realistically you could probably come up with even more reasons than me.”

“Should I start listing some?” He lightly teases but you frown at him. “Oh come on, you fucked your ex who you are like, really close with. Are you surprised?”

“Yes?” You slump your shoulders, “But like, no?”

“Yeah.” Hoseok offers a half smile. “You guys are…well, you’re really close. Anyone can see that and sure, it could be totally platonic. I think you two might really be capable of that. But I also understand there is a long history there. And there’s probably so many things between you both no one else would even begin to understand—”

“Maybe Taehyung.” You blink at Hoseok and he snorts.

“Okay, maybe Taehyung.” He laughs, his head shaking before he continues. “If I’m being honest with you, y/n. I know he broke your heart and I know I don’t know the full story. I don’t know everything and I don’t know his side. And he’s my friend…and even if he wasn’t…it’s probably not fair to judge an entire situation without knowing all the sides, right?” 

“You hated him before.” You deadpan.

“That was a few months ago…I’ve…” He starts nodding, eyes glancing up as he thinks. “…Matured?” He decides to go with that. “Anyway, regardless of what happened…you’re both in each other’s lives now, right? You’re close. You enjoy one another. Yada, Yada. Look, it’s not that big of a deal that you two had sex—”

“It was the intimate kind.” You let the words slip out quickly.

“Oh?” Hoseok raises a brow, “Like…how intimate?”

“Like, it felt like love, intimate.” You blurt but then try to recover, “I mean…I know it wasn’t that but I’m just saying that what it felt like.”

Hoseok lips part slightly as he realizes what you are saying. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” You swallow, “I’m not saying we…it’s just…that’s the kind of sex we had.”

“Well,” Hoseok glances around trying to think of what to say next to try his best to comfort you, you’re sure but when his eyes start to expand you realize he is finally putting together some other important pieces here. “Wait.”

“Yup.” You blurt blandly. 

“What about Namjoon?” He asks, eyes still wide.

“Exactly.” You frown, “That’s exactly what I’m thinking. What about Namjoon…”

Hoseok stands from his chair abruptly, your eyes following him as he gives you a nod and he heads towards his kitchen, pulls out a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“We’re drinking?” 

“When we’re both in a Code Red situation, drinking seems completely appropriate.” 

“That…yeah, that checks out.” You stand as well and meet him in the kitchen, watching him open the wine bottle and fill both of your glasses to the absolute brim. 

“So,” He hands you your glass. “What are you going to do about Namjoon? I mean, did you have sex with Jimin because you guys are in love or like, did you two fuck because well, fucking your ex is easy?”

“Holy shit.” You murmur, bringing the glass to your lips as you suck up some of the wine that is close to spilling over. 

“Yeah, holy shit is right, sister.”

“We…we aren’t in love. But I think it would also be the easy way out to say we just had sex because it was an easy option.” 

“How do you know you aren’t in love?” Hoseok softens even more, his tone careful with you. 

“Trust me, if we were in love…wouldn’t we be together right now? Wouldn’t the sex maybe would have set off the type of chain of events where we aren’t pretending it didn’t happen?”

“Is…” Hoseok nibbles on his lip. “Don’t tell me you two are pretending…oh, that doesn’t seem like you two.”

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not necessarily like pretending like totally avoiding and shit, but more like…it happened but it won’t happen again. We both get that.”

“But why?”

“Be-because? First, I owe Namjoon a fucking answer and probably the truth. And second…I don’t know.”

“You said the sex would have maybe set off a chain events where you two would want to be together again, right? But it didn’t? Did you ever think it’s because it just isn’t that simple, y/n? If it was that simple…then I feel like your actual relationship and dynamic has no depth. But because it’s more complex,” Hoseok picks up his own wine glass, stares at the liquid and sighs out heavily before continuing. “Well, I think it just proves how real it is.”

You stare at your best friend, mind beginning to race with thoughts you don’t even want to think about but maybe saying them out loud is a good way to ease your own mind.

“You’re right.” Your eyes fall to the counter top, “It is complex. He broke my heart, sure. But I’m not the only one who needs to work through things. He has stuff too.” A small smile creeps on your lips, “I could shove down my own problems and new insecurities to start new—whoever that may be with—but I could never expect him…especially at this point in time, to just get over his own trauma.” 

“Trauma?” Hoseok pulls his brows together. “What do you mean?”

“Right.” You gulp. Eyes lifting back to meet his, “I can’t share it because I don’t know how comfortable Jimin would be with it but yeah, he just…he has things and anyway, it is complex.”

“I’m not sure my situation is even complex.” Hoseok chuckles. “I’m just a chicken.”

“I’ll drink to that.” You wink, taking a sip of your wine and Hoseok flips you off.

“I’m just…I’m wanting the right one, you know? But it’s come to my attention I don’t know who that is and maybe I do. But how do I really know? And I don’t know. I’m stupid.”

“You aren’t stupid. You’re like every other human being on this planet. Scared.”

“But what am I scared of?”

“Love?” You shrug.

“No, love is this amazing thing!”

“Love is an amazing thing but when there’s good there’s bad!” You throw back at him. “And no one prepares their heart for the bad. Trust me.”

“Or” Hoseok sets his wine down, his eyes finding yours and you can see how the dark browns swirling around also swirl with sincerity. “We do prepare for the bad but we don’t like how it feels to imagine that and that’s why we’re scared. Because maybe we’ve gotten a taste and decided you know what? Is the good worth all this bad again?”

“Well,” You set your glass down as well. “Then I guess all I can say is…being human sucks.”

~~~~~

Monday morning and you are at the office much earlier than usual. Hoseok walks in some time after you and eyes you strangely as he sets up his desk.

“If you tell me you have not even slept…I swear—”

“Does 40 minutes count?” You cut him off, eyes on your screen. “Because if it does then I totally slept.”

“For your sake I’ll just agree that it counts.” Hoseok shakes his head before sitting down. 

“And for your sake I doubled the amount.” You mumble to yourself, eyes still on your screen as you try to convert this document. “So,” You click the mouse repeatedly, and…annoyingly. “Namjoon is out of town this week so I will have to live with my sins a little longer.”

Hoseok glances over at you, pity smile on his lips. “Maybe that’s good? Gives you more time to think.”

“Thinking is literally the last thing I want to—”

“Sup guys.” Jeremy comes towards you both, stopping at his desk to set his coffee down. “Is uh, is Naomi here yet?” 

You just continue to look at your screen, clicking your mouse as you shake your head. 

Jeremy releases a long breath before adjusting his jacket, “Okay. Cool, cool.” He finally takes his seat. 

“Why?” Hoseok turns in his chair to face Jeremy, “Need her for some—”

“Nope. No. No. Nah.” Jeremy shakes his head with his hands waving in front of him. “Just wondering. Yup, just having uh, wonders. It was…I was just…wonder—anyway, uh, have you guys umm, talked to her? Like over the weekend?”

You continue to stare at your screen, mouse clicking and you shake your head…again.

“Yeah, that’s cool. Okay, cool, cool.” Jeremy nods along, hands still adjusting his jacket.

“O…kay.” Hoseok gives Jeremy a confused look before turning in his chair to face you again. “Jeremy is being weird, y/n.”

“Jeremy is always weird, Hoseok.” You say, eyes probably straining thanks to the screen. 

“No. Just look at him.” Hoseok whispers and you finally tear your eyes away, glancing in their direction when you snort.

“What…what are you wearing?” You raise a brow at Jeremy. 

“What?” Jeremy starts to feel antsy. “Is it weird? It’s weird right. The jacket? Is it too much?”

“Uh, it’s not that. Just…why?” You look at Hoseok and he shrugs, holding in his own laugh.

“I can’t look nice?” Jeremy decides to act sassy. “You’re a slob half the time but I don’t try to make you feel weird when you wear a skirt!” “Jeez.” You raise your hands in surrender, stifling your own laughter as well. “Fair point.”

“Hello friends!” Naomi’s voice can be heard, your turn your head to get a look at her when she walks towards you guys, her curls bouncing cutely above her shoulders. “Morning.” She says…only to you and Hoseok. “Love seeing my friends here.” 

“Yeah, hi.” You eye her over…she usually does look decently nice for work but this is…”You look pretty…is there an occasion? Are you and Jeremy going somewhere after working or something?”

“HA!” Naomi giggles, almost forced when she grins wide before spinning on her heels to face Jeremy. “Well, hello, Jeremiah.”

“Naomi-iah.” He stands from his chair, hands still freaking adjusting the jacket. 

“That’s like…neither of their names, right?” Hoseok whispers towards you and you shake your head before continuing to watch this weird ass interaction.

“Love coming to work to see my friends! Even you! Wow, especially you! Right? My friend?” Naomi flutters her lashes as she always does, smile still wide while Jeremy nods enthusiastically.

“Of course! Because I’m your friend. And uh, well, you’re my friend.” Then his head bobs around as he looks at you and Hoseok too. “We are all friends! Love being friends. I love having friends. Friends are so cool—”

“Exactly. You just love your friends so much!” Naomi starts laughing, “You are like, friend of the year.”

“I sure am. But uh, y/n is right! You look nice!” He forces a grin.

“Wow, thank you!” Naomi continues to smile, lashes still fluttering. “And you look…” She eyes him up and down, smile still in place when she blinks awkwardly. “…weird.”

“I-I-I-“

“Well,” Naomi smiles even wider, “Got to get to work, am I right, friends?” And then she walks off to her desk as Jeremy mumbles to himself, eyeing over his outfit.

“Weird.” You mouth at Hoseok and he shrugs.

~

Tuesday evening when you hear from Jimin for the first time since you saw him last. The texts are pretty awkward but at least he’s texting you.

Jimin 7:03pm

So have u eaten

y/n 7:10pm

yeah I have

Jimin 7:10pm

Oh ok

y/n 7:12pm

have you

Jimin 7:12pm

Uhhhhh not yet but I guess I should lol

y/n 7:12pm

I have leftovers if you want them

Jimin 7:13pm

Youre invited me over?

y/n 7:13pm

seems like it right

Jimin 7:15pm

Right

y/n 7:18pm

come on jimin just come over

Jimin 7:20pm

Its to talk about things isn’t it lol

y/n 7:22pm

you don’t think we should?

Jimin 7:23pm

No I definitely think we should 

y/n 7:23pm

alright then come

Jimin 7:38pm

On my way 

“This is pretty good.” Jimin says with his mouth full, the last bite finally conquered as he finishes the left overs you offered him.

“I know, right?” You smile, “It’s new. Opened up like less than two years ago.”

Jimin stands from the island and throws away his container and goes to the sink to wash his hands. “Didn’t you have a rule about trying to eat home cooked meals on week days?” 

“Well,” You laugh, “Things change!”

“Yeah.” Jimin dries his hands on the towelette before turning to you. “I guess they do…so, should we go into the living room?” He gestures towards the area of your sofa and you nod, standing from your chair and heading in that direction. Jimin follows, deciding not to sit too far from you so it doesn’t seem like he is being awkward and purposely staying away…but maybe he is sitting too close. Not even a foot of space between you both but nothing is said about it.

“So.” Jimin stares ahead, eyes on your black TV screen. 

“So.” You decide to follow his gaze, the black TV screen looking so entertaining. “Um.”

“Um.” He copies.

You release a breath before laughing to yourself, eyes falling to your lap now. “We are usually so good at talking and being open…why are we being so awkward?” “So awkward, right?” Jimin laughs too, his head titling in your direction. “Let’s just say it. We had sex. And we want to discuss it. But are we discussing it like how it went?” He cracks a smile, “Or discussing what it meant? Why did we do that? What we should do now?”

“All of the above?” You lean back into the sofa cushion, small smile as well. “First, I think we can both admit sex between us has always been great so no surprise there.”

“That’s true.” Jimin hums. “It felt natural being with you but there was also something about it that felt so…thrilling. It felt brand new while also feeling like ho—well, I don’t know.” Jimin finishes timidly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” You gulp, both knowing. “So…why did we do that?”

“You’re skipping over ‘what it meant’ already?” Jimin teases, “But uh, it would be bad to blame the brownie, right?” He chuckles, relaxing his shoulders some as he leans back on the couch as well. “Because even I know that even if the brownie was not a part of the equation…” “What?”

“It was going to happen regardless.” Jimin tells you simply. “At least I would have wanted it to.”

You sigh out, eyes going to the ceiling. Yeah, you believe that actually. “Are you saying it was a matter of time?” You turn your head towards Jimin, crooked smile on your face. “That because everything is so familiar with me that we were bound to hook up?”

“Familiar? You think I only wanted to fuck you because it was familiar, y/n?” Jimin turns his head to face you as well. “I fucked you because I am very attracted to you and we have great chemistry.” He shrugs his shoulders, head facing forward again. “I fucked you because you’re you.”

“Oh.”

“Did you only have sex with me because I’m your ex and it seemed familiar?” Jimin asks you, voice quieter. 

“It makes things easier.” You respond. Jimin turns his head towards you again, eyes finding yours before he narrows them, not really believing your answer.

“But no,” You sigh out, “I guess not. Your reasons seem relatable.” 

“Hmm.” Jimin continues to gaze at you, “You can be honest y/n. If you only wanted me that night because you were just…in the mood for something like that…and I was an easy option—”

“No!” You lift your head and lean towards him, “That’s not what I—I didn’t mean to come across that way.”

Jimin’s lips lift into a smile, “I know.”

“You know?” You ask and he hums.

“Yeah. The way we fucked babe, you really think I would think you would only want something like that just because you were horny? Yeah, no.” 

“Jimin—”

“If you were just looking to get fucked don’t you think you would have just done it with Namjoon by now? But Namjoon isn’t what you wanted,” His voice goes lower, eyes boring into yours. “Now was it?”

He makes it sound so simple—and maybe it is. But you think you might refuse the idea of it being that easy. “W-What do we do now?”

“Still avoiding what it meant?” Jimin decides to tease you again, lips curved into one of his addicting smiles. “That’s okay.”

“It meant…” You start chewing on your lips, realizing you are avoiding that one because you haven’t even really thought about what it could mean. “I don’t know.”

“Me either.” Jimin’s smile continues to charm you. “And I think it’s okay that we don’t know right now. But what to do…”

“Yeah.”

“You’re very important to me, y/n.” Jimin breathes out, “So important.” 

“I know.” You smoosh your cheek into the couch cushion, “You’re important to me too.”

“You’re in this thing with Namjoon…I don’t mean like,” His eyes widen a bit as he stares at you, “It’s not like thing, thing—an official thing—right? But it’s a situation? I mean, he’s…are you going to tell him?”

“Yeah,” you close your eyes briefly, hating that you have to tell Namjoon about this. “I am. I feel like I owe him that much. Not sure how he will react. If he will be angry or just disappointed.”

“I don’t know either.” Jimin admits. “But say things go okay…he still wants to be in a relationship with you…what are you going to do?”

“What…” You pause. You can’t believe you are on the verge of asking Jimin what you should do…you are really on the verge of asking Jimin to tell you what it is you think you should do because apparently it matters to you—his thoughts and opinions. 

“Hm?” 

“What do you think I should do?” You blurt. 

“You…” Jimin raises his brows at you, “You want me to tell you what I think?”

“Yeah.” 

“I think you know already, y/n. Not just what I think but what you think. But you are fighting it and I cannot figure out why.”

“Fighting it?” 

“Mhm.” Jimin looks at you with a softness, a softness that seems to be bleeding into another look. Maybe one of guilt. “If I had to guess it would be because you’re just wanting something or someone and you know he’s good, maybe even safe. You’re afraid to ever feel something again like you had with me.” 

“Okay.” You stare at him, slowly nodding your head. “Maybe.”

“And that’s one reason why what we did cannot happen again. Right?” Jimin tilts his head just slightly, a smile that is barely there on his lips. 

You feel your chest tighten as the words leave his mouth, “Right.” You whisper. “And another reason is because of you. Right?”

Jimin’s lips curve just a little higher, his eyes shining with his understanding—and your understanding. “Right.” 

“We’ve moved on.” You state simply. “So, of course we wouldn’t fall into what we did again.”

“Oh?” Jimin’s lips start tugging into something sly. “So, you are telling me you won’t even think about it then?”

“The sex we had?” You question and he grins.

“Yeah. You won’t think about it? Won’t let your mind wander?”

“Even if it did…doesn’t mean—Listen, I’ve been successful. You think I haven’t thought about you like that? Nothing happened!”

“But…something did happen?” Jimin chuckles, “You weren’t successful.”

“Did you…did you ever think about—“

“I told you when I was fucking you that I had.”

“Yeah but—”

“I wasn’t just saying things to turn you on. Everything I said was the truth. I have been desperate to kiss you for some time.” 

You can’t help but snort, “Desperate is a pretty serious word, Jimin.” 

“It’s been pretty serious.” He laughs back. “Even with knowing it’s not a good idea or something I should do…even right now I am thinking about kissing you.”

Your mouth falls open, surprise gracing your features before you lean more forward to hit his arm. “You are not!” 

“I definitely am.” He smirks. “Maybe I’ll be thinking about that forever. Who knows.” 

“You really have no shame.” You roll your eyes, covering your mouth with your hand, doing your best to hide your growing smile. “You can’t just say that.”

“At least let me say it since I can’t do it.” Jimin jokes. “But anyway, y/n.” He grows a little more serious, “We’re okay?”

“Yeah, we are.” You smile towards him. “Want to watch a show?”

“Might as well.” Jimin returns your smile before standing from the sofa, walking to the other side to grab your designated blanket. He comes back to his spot but instead of a foot of distance between you both, he sits right next to you, thighs glued together. “Cold.” He mumbles as he lays the blanket over both of your laps. 

You reach for the TV remote, turning it on to Netflix. “A movie?”

“Sounds good to me,” Jimin says, head leaning on your shoulder, “Pick whatever you want.”

~

You aren’t really sure Jimin is paying too much attention to the movie you chose…every time you steal a glance at him, you see how his eyes are on your lap. His fingers play with yours and so much warmth starts radiating off of your body. You don’t know what he is thinking or how he is feeling in the moment. 

“Are you bored?” You whisper at him, “You look bored.”

“Not at all.” Jimin murmurs, “I am having a nice time actually.”

“You aren’t even watching the movie.” You laugh, pointing out the obvious. “Your eyes have only been on our hands.”

“Your hands are nice.” 

“So you would rather watch them than this movie? Yeah, you’re bored.”

“Not bored.” Jimin chuckles, his eyes finally lifting to look at you. And then he speaks slowly, “Touching you isn’t boring for me.” 

His touch relaxes you but his words send a strange feeling throughout your body. Tingles maybe. 

“You’re saying you could touch me forever and have fun then?” You quirk a brow, “You’d never get bored?”

“Is there a world where you let me touch you forever?” Jimin’s lips curve up, “Sounds like my ideal world.”

“Shut up.” You shake your head, “Don’t tell me something like that.”

“Like what?”

“That you have an ideal world and I’m in it.”

“You aren’t just in it. In the ideal world I get to touch you.” He whispers.

“Then are you in your ideal world then? You’re touching me right now.” 

“In my ideal world I am touching you a whole lot more than this.” Jimin’s tone falls lower, his eyes on yours and you want to shudder…because the tingles are here again and they are starting to feel dangerous to your health. 

“How much more?” Your breaths are soft but one leaves your mouth shaky and Jimin knows he’s got your mind wandering. 

“Don’t ask a question that you aren’t prepared to hear the answer.” Jimin’s fingers start threading through yours. “The only hint I can give you is that it’s so much touching that you would be aching to touch me back.” 

“Would I?” You tease, smirk on your lips while Jimin rolls his eyes at you, scoffing at how much of a tease you are.

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“I know because I know you.”

“Do you though?” You continue to tease him, your own fingers playing with his. “It’s been five years, Jimin. People change.”

Jimin starts chuckling, his hand leaving yours. He raises his head and turns it towards you, just a few inches from your face when he gazes into your eyes, a specific glint inside them. “That doesn’t work anymore, y/n.” He tells you softly, “I know you now. I know you all over again. I know this y/n. I know you.” 

Your breath gets stuck inside your throat somewhere. As much as you would love to breathe—you can’t. Not when Jimin stares at you like this…stares at you like he really does know you. Stares at you with eyes full of some unreadable emotion. You look at him, trying your best to read his expression. You finally release a long breath, still staring when it finally hits you. You can read him—you can read him well. You know exactly what he wants.

“You want to kiss me.” The worlds tumble out of your mouth quickly and quietly and Jimin’s smile drops and his eyes expand but before he can save himself and maybe even lie to you…you lean in and plant your lips on top of his. 

You weren’t thinking…not exactly. You just followed whatever your body wanted. And it seems Jimin is doing the same. The moment your lips touched his, he already had his hands traveling across your waist until they are now cupping the back of your neck, his own lips working over yours. 

You don’t know how long you two have been kissing but it feels good, there isn’t even tongue yet but it’s still messy and hot. The low groaning coming from Jimin is making every nerve in your body react, your fingers tugging his hair and pulling him closer to you, leading his body over yours as you start to lay back. 

Jimin is quick to slot himself between your legs, getting as close as possible to you while his lips never leave yours. When he lightly bites down on your bottom lip, tugging it back and making you buck your hips into his crotch, he finally slides his tongue in your mouth. Warm, wet and sloppy and so fucking hypnotizing. Especially the way he starts grinding into you.

Jimin pulls away from your lips so he can start exploring other parts of you with his mouth. His tongue glides across your jaw, your head leaning further back, a soft moan leaving you while Jimin continues to grind. He sucks a spot on your neck while his hands get busy—he wastes no time—his fingers already at your pants, trying his best to unbutton them quickly while he kisses your skin. 

“Wait, wait.” You whine, eyes slamming shut. “I’m on my period.” Your own hands go to his to stop him from taking your pants off. Jimin leans away from you before he smirks.

“You know I don’t care.” He whispers, his lips finding yours again. He pecks your lips over and over, his fingers still trying to mess with the button. Your eyes roll back, wanting nothing more than for him to do whatever it is he wants with you. But you stop him again, smile on your lips as you cup his face.

“It’s not light.” You inform him, “It’s okay, seriously.” 

Jimin breathes out roughly, his forehead coming down to yours as he calms himself down. “Okay, okay.” He tells you, “That’s okay—”

“You’re hard?”

Jimin disconnects his forehead from yours just barely, only for his eyes to meet your eyes. “y/n.” He moans your name and you feel yourself grow warmer and warmer. Jimin licks his lips before continuing, “You know I’m so hard right now. I’m so fucking hard for you.” 

“Let me take care of you.” You begin rising from the couch, your hands on his chest as you push him back. “Let me make you feel good.”

“I feel good already babe.” Jimin gazes at you, his eyes softening but the lust is still very much alive in them.

“You like looking at my hands right?” You push Jimin even more, his back hitting the couch cushion. “Don’t you want to see them wrapped around your cock?” 

Jimin freezes for only a second, his chest beginning to heave more and more as he lets the image of you playing with his cock linger in his mind. 

“You were right, Jimin.”

“About what?” He struggles to speak coherently, his dick so painfully erect now. 

“You do touch me in a way that I ache to touch you back.” Your fingers go to his jeans, already unbuttoning them and sliding down the zipper. “My ideal world…fuck,” You help him get his jeans off, your hand dipping inside his briefs. “I touch you too.” Your fingers barely brush against his member but you can feel it react instantly. It twitches and Jimin’s eyes become half lidded as he stares at you. “This is my ideal world, Jimin.” 

“Then touch me…fuck,” He whines, struggling to keep his eyes open and on you. Your fingers wrap around the shaft, barely stroking him when he breathes harder and harder. “Fucking touch me more baby.” 

“More? Maybe my hands aren’t enough for you Jimin.” You finally pull his member out as Jimin’s own hands scramble to tug his underwear down to his thick thighs. “You don’t want to come all over my hands right? You’d rather come down my throat, huh? You’d rather have me swallow your cum, taste you and crave you later when you aren’t here.” 

“You would crave me, wouldn’t you?” Jimin’s raspy voice makes your head spin. This entire scene in front of you makes your head spin actually. The way he looks at you, eyes barely open, his lips extra plump and swollen from kissing and his chest rising and falling quickly. “Because you’re so addicted to me.”

He nailed it, you think. You are addicted…the way he kisses, the way he touches, the way he fucks, the way he just exists in front of you.

“I am.” You tell him, eyes on his while you lower your face to his cock, wasting no time in wrapping your lips around the head. 

“y/n…” Jimin whimpers your name, his eyes closing for a moment. “I love this…love this…” 

You know he does. You know this addiction has you doing things you both agreed you wouldn’t do because you couldn’t—because you shouldn’t. Yet here you are, pleasing Jimin until he tenses beneath you and spilling all of his warm cum into your mouth. And here he is drowning in you all over again. 

~~~~~

“What is up with them?” You whisper to Hoseok, both of you staring at Naomi and Jeremy from across the table as they blatantly ignore one another. 

“By the way, y/n…” Jeremy gets your attention but stops midway to take a bite of his lunch, “It’s Wednesday, don’t forget to help me print out my report.”

“Uh huh.” You nod,  eyes going between him and Naomi. “Are you guys like…okay?”

“Us?” Naomi gestures between her and Jeremy. “Obviously. What great friends like us wouldn’t be okay?”

“Exactly.” Jeremy mumbles with his mouth full. “We’re amazing.”

“Oh dude, how was your date on Friday? What’s this one’s name again?” Hoseok asks, dipping pineapple into some sauce. “It was date two, right?”

Jeremy swallows his food before glancing at Naomi awkwardly, “Yeah, it was good. Her name is Mimi. I’m supposed to see her again sometime this weekend, maybe Saturday but I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Naomi stares ahead, eating her own lunch. “Right, you seem to not know a lot of things, huh?” 

Jeremy rolls his eyes at this, “Anyway, she’s a nice girl—”

“Well, if you like her so much you should definitely go out with her again!” Naomi turns her head towards Jeremy and smiles. “But you know, don’t tell her you like her if you aren’t even sure though. That would be pretty fucked up.” She tells him, smile still on her face before she turns to look at you and Hoseok. “Right, guys? Imagine?” 

“Yeah…” You blink at them, still so confused what is going on. 

The four of you get back to your office and continue working for the day. It’s around 4 when your boss, Mr. Lincoln calls for a meeting. You groan, not wanting to get lectured again on whatever it is he wants improved. You and Hoseok share a look with one another as you take your seats in the meeting room, waiting for whatever it is Mr. Lincoln wants to scold your office for. 

“Alright!” Mr. Lincoln claps his hands together, “I know most of you have already heard by now but I will be taking a leave for a few months! Some other business I have to attend to but no worries, my wife’s very capable nephew will be coming to fill in for a bit.”

“Great.” Hoseok leans in to whisper, his voice annoyed. “I bet this person doesn’t know shit.” 

“Same.” You mutter back.

Mr. Lincoln glances at the two of you before he continues, “If you think I can be hard on you all then you will finally realize how easy it is here with me.” He starts to chuckle, shaking his head lightly. “My nephew takes his roles very seriously. Please keep that in mind when you try to goof off. You, especially.” He points at Hoseok, “I know how much you and your friends love to chat.”

“It’s y/n who always starts the conversations!” Hoseok tries to put the blame on you, “She’s the culprit!”

“Nonsense.” Mr. Lincoln looks at you now, “I know y/n is a very hard worker.”

Naomi and Jeremy start laughing at this and you just shrug, Hoseok glares at you while mouthing ‘he wants to fuck you’ when Mr. Lincoln isn’t looking. You just swat his arm and carry on.

“Friday will be my last day but no worries, I will be back everyone. Let’s work hard.” 

~

You and Hoseok sit on his couches, finishing take out that you both decide wasn’t very good and probably too expensive. It’s only Wednesday and that thought alone sucks since you are so ready for this week to be over. 

“I can’t believe you guys did it again.” Your best friends says, rubbing his belly from how full he is despite the food only being a like 5 out of 10. “Is this going to become a thing?”

“First,” You slide your food container away from you, “We didn’t do it again. Just…you know,” 

“I love you but shut up.” Hoseok laughs. “It counts.”

“I’m so stupid, Hobi. We came to a whole ass conclusion that we shouldn’t yet we—”

“The heart wants what the heart wants.” 

“Or my vagina.” You deadpan.

“Normally I would agree but your secret garden didn’t even get any action so…”

“I guess that’s true.” You frown. “He’s so…he makes me…I don’t even know.”

“I think you do know.” Hoseok tells you bluntly, “You do know…but you won’t say it and I have no idea why. I’m your best friend. Just say exactly what you’re thinking.”

You stare at him before you scoff to yourself, “Hoseok, trust me. I’m not even thinking things in my brain with my brain voice the thoughts that my brain is even having. If I can’t even make my brain voice say those things how the hell do you think I’m going to get my mouth voice to do it?”

“Too many voices.” Hoseok shakes his head, “Anyway, I get it. I guess. But okay, let’s start there—have the thoughts in your head and like, hear them.” 

“No thanks.” You tell him right away, “I’m good.”

“You’re being so—” Hoseok’s head shoots up when he hears his door bell ring. “Who is here?” He wonders, glancing at you but you shrug. Hoseok stands from his sofa and walks through his home to answer the front door. You can hear him open the door, whatever, whatever but your ears really perk up when you hear a voice that is all too familiar. 

“Jimin?” You turn to see Hoseok and Jimin walk through, Jimin’s eyes expanding when he spots you.

“y/n?” He questions you in return. “You’re here?”

“…Yes. You’re here?”

“Yes…” 

“And I’m here too!” Hoseok grins. “Ah, but maybe you guys wish I wasn’t,” He starts smirking. “You know, so you two could…” He wiggles his brows at both of you when Jimin’s eyes go wide.

“You told him?!” Jimin blurts out, his finger pointing at you.

“Of course I told him?!” You look at him incredulously, “Why wouldn’t I have? He’s my best friend!”

“True.” Hoseok nods in approval.

“Why are you shocked!” You shout, “Didn’t you tell anyone?!” 

“Who am I going to tell?!” Jimin looks at you just as incredulously. 

“Uh, Taehyung??” 

“Taehyung?!” Jimin looks at you like you are insane. “Seriously? If I told Taehyung right now he would just…he would be so happy! He would literally start planning a wedding! You know…again.”

“Shit,” You tear your eyes away from his for a moment, “That’s totally understandable. So then why are you here?”

Jimin shifts awkwardly from one foot to another, his eyes going from you to Hoseok before he’s lifting a finger to point at your best friend. “Uh…” Jimin stares at you blankly. “To tell…him.” 

“Of course.” You deadpan. 

“Wait, really?” Hoseok lights up,  grin growing. “You came here to talk to me about this stuff?”

“Yes?” Jimin looks a bit unsure. “If that’s cool?”

Hoseok lights up even more, “Of course that’s cool!” Then he looks at you, “y/n, hurry, go home.”

“What?” “Go home!” Hoseok whines. “I want to hear everything from Jimin’s perspective.” Then he glances at Jimin, “Because I, you know, care.”

“He’s just nosey as fuck.” You tell Jimin with a straight face as you stand from the couch, “But fine, you’re lucky, I was wanting to go home anyway.”

~

You are curious, of course. So curious actually. So curious in fact that you’ve texted Hoseok like 8 times but he still hasn’t answered and it’s already almost midnight. You are wondering what Jimin told Hoseok, what his thoughts are—his feelings. You want to know. But don’t you already know? Didn’t he already tell you everything? You’re wondering if you should give up on Hoseok texting you back and just wait until tomorrow at work to get answers. But right when you think you’re giving up, your phone goes off.

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

I shoulda known I was gonna come find my phone with a bunch of texts from you and YOU call ME nosey!!!!

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

But ok wow. Tonight was a lot

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

Like a lot 

y/n 11:56pm

what happened??? What did he tell you?

Hobi:)) 11:58pm

He told me maybe everything? He told me about emma dude…that shit hurted. Anyway so much stuff makes sense now…he also told me why he broke your heart and stuff and like I said…so much stuff makes sense

y/n 12:01am

oh

Hobi:)) 12:02am

Yeeeeaah…but umm he did also tell me about you guys hooking up and also what you guys talked about

y/n 12:03am

okay and

Hobi:))12:08am

And I feel like he didn’t tell you everything

y/n 12:08am

???

y/n 12:08am

what are you talking about

Hobi:)) 12:09am

Im just saying I don’t think he told you everything

Hobi:)) 12:09am

Like based on what you told me he said, I don’t think he told you everything and also he said even more stuff tonight and idk kinda feels like you two need to talk again 

y/n 12:12am

genuinely so confused

y/n 12:12am

just tell me?

Hobi:)) 12:13am

No no no this is something that needs to come from him…im not saying he intentionally didn’t tell you something but I think he might have something to say or idk. Idk how to explain it but look regardless figure your shit out with joon cuz this is gonna get messy fast

y/n 12:20am 

wtf hobi

Hobi:)) 12:22am

Im team jimin btw. Hes a good guy y/n and you know this already and I know things sucked for a while but he does care about you and I care about you and I want to see you happy and isn’t that jimin? 

Hobi:)) 12:40am

You aren’t replying so I know im right. But I also know something else…because jimin is the one that makes you happy that’s why you wont choose him right? Because the happier a person can make you also means this person can also make you the saddest and youre terrified of that I get it y/n but that thought breaks my heart and I hope I am wrong

y/n 12:43am

goodnight hobi 

~~~~~

It’s Thursday evening when Jimin calls you, asking if he can come over and talk to you about something—obviously you say yes but not even a minute after you hang up with him, your phone is ringing again. Namjoon.

“Hello?” you answer pretty quickly. You haven’t really heard from him all week since he’s been out of town.

“Hey.” He sounds tired, exhausted even. “You busy?”

“Not currently, why?”

“Well, first,” Namjoon pauses, his voice still sounding tired but you can tell he’s smiling. “How was your day?”

“It was good.” You respond, “Tiring.”

“Tell me about it. I’m actually back in town, just got home and I thought I’d see if you wanted to come over for a little while? I have an early morning but I would love to see you even if it’s just for a little bit.”

“Oh.” You stare at nothing, thinking about how Jimin is probably already on his way. “I—”

“I really need to see you.” Namjoon chuckles, “It has not been a very good week.”

“Oh.” You say much softer. “Okay…Um, I can leave in a few minutes then.” 

“Perfect, be safe on your way here.”

You and Namjoon hang up and you feel a bit of dread as you dial Jimin’s number and to call him and let him know he can no longer come hang out with you. He answers on the second ring.

“Hey.” He sounds nice on the other line, his voice something so soothing to you.

“Hey…” 

“What’s up? You okay?”

“Actually,” You pause, wondering how it will feel for him. “Namjoon just called and he’s home and wants to see me but I was going to tell him no but—”

“It’s okay.” Jimin cuts in, “If you need to cancel, I get it.”

“It’s not that I just want to cancel on you, Jimin. He just sounds like he had a bad week and—”

“It’s okay. I get it.” Jimin tells you, voice soft. “Are you staying there?”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just a for a little while.”

“Okay…want to come by my place after you see him? I still want to talk to you.”

“Yeah.” You breathe out, “I can do that.”

~

You’re barely even finishing knocking on Namjoon’s door when he’s already swinging it open and pulling you inside. 

“Hi.” He brings you close to him, his arms wrapping around your body as he embraces you tightly. “I missed you.”

“Hi.” You say back, the word getting lost into his t shirt as he squeezes you to his chest. 

You’re nervous to be here to be honest. You plan on telling Namjoon about what you’ve done with Jimin but you’re waiting for the right timing. 

“I had the shittiest week.” He tells you, “I just need you around to feel better.”

And you are realizing maybe this isn’t the right timing. Namjoon finally peels himself off of you, holding you at arm’s length and smiling the kind of smile that makes you feel weaker. 

But even this smile lacks in joy. He’s tired. He’s looking beat from the week. He’s looking like he only needs to hear good things. 

Namjoon takes a deep breath before hugging you again. 

“What happened?” You finally ask. “Is everything okay?”

Namjoon leads you to his cream sofa, taking a seat next to you and starts telling you about his week.

“Honestly, my writing is just…I’m in a funk, maybe? But everything has been garbage…at least to me. Emiko has been trying to cheer me up but she’s going through her own stuff and she’s just…she’s probably had a worse week than me.” Namjoon sighs, “She just doesn’t realize she deserves so much better—anyway. Two, yes two, of the meetings I had this week to set up for the tour this summer got canceled because they’re pulling out! Like, pulling out altogether so that’s great news.” He frowns now, his fingers rubbing his temple. “It just feels like things with my career aren’t progressing the way I want them to but also, Emiko is my agent and she works so hard but…”

“But what?”

“I know she’s going through a really tough time. And I can’t really help her and that bugs me. Sorry, I’m just…I hate when I can’t be there for someone I care about.”

You smile at Namjoon because that sounds just like him. “I’m sure she knows you are here for her, Joon.”

“She doesn’t want me to be. That’s the thing.” His frown deepens. “She made a huge deal about us needing to be more professional…that at the end of the day she’s just my agent. That hurt, you know?”

“Oh.” You feel your heart hurt for him, “That would hurt. For sure. But she’s probably just saying that because she’s dealing with whatever is going on with her. Maybe she’s trying to push you away but even if you have to just stay by her side silently…she will appreciate it.”

Namjoon’s lips finally lift into a smile, “You’re right.” He tells you, “I’m just…I’ve known her almost my whole life. I hate seeing her in a bad mood, I guess.”

“You’re very sweet.” 

And he is…he is very sweet. 

“Thank you, y/n. I knew talking to you and seeing you would be something that would make me feel better.”

You only nod at him, guilt starting to bubble over but you try to push that away as you come to your decision. Namjoon is a good man, a very good man and you would be stupid as hell to lose this. 

~

“Hey, I’m leaving Namjoon’s. I know it’s late but did you still want me to come over?” You ask Jimin over the phone, “I can be there in 20.”

“Actually,” Jimin’s voice sounds a little muffled, “I’m kind of already at your place.”

“Huh?” 

“I was feeling bored so I just came here. I’m just outside, chillin.”

“Oh.” You turn, driving through a neighborhood as you start making your way to your place instead. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

“Okay, be safe. See you soon.” And then he is hanging up. 

You arrive to your place not too much later, walking up to your apartment when you see Jimin sitting outside your door, dark hair looking longer, blowing in the breeze.

You greet him casually as you unlock your front door and you both make your way inside.

Jimin slips his shoes off and is already making his way to your living room, plopping down on the couch. You eye him over as you take off your own shoes, “You okay?” You ask.

Jimin looks a little odd—maybe nervous or anxious, his leg shaking up and down. He just nods his head but you can see how he swallows hard. 

“Okay…” You walk towards him, taking a seat next to him.

“How was Namjoon’s?” Jimin asks, “Did you tell him?”

“Did I—oh, no. He uh, he was having a hard time and I didn’t want to potentially make it harder so I haven’t…”

Jimin stops shaking his leg as he nods slowly, “Oh. I see.”  “But I made my decision.” You look Jimin in the eye but he grows a little confused.

“About?”

“Namjoon.”

Jimin eyes’ go wide before he’s gesturing for you to continue.

“If Namjoon still wants a relationship with me even after I tell him what we did…I’m going to agree. I’m going—”

“Wait.” Jimin’s eyes search yours, “Wait, wait. What?”

“Yeah. I’m going to, you know, be his girlf—” “That’s…” Jimin’s gaze falls to your lap. “That’s what you want?”

“Yes.” You tell him. “It is.”

“It’s what you want because you like him. Right?” His eyes find yours again, but they have hardened.

“Y-Yeah.” 

Jimin stares at you for moments too long, his gaze making you feel nervous but he finally tears his eyes from you, licks his drying lips and stands from the couch. “Okay. I really wish you good luck, y/n. I hope this works out.”

“Thanks…” You mumble, your eyes on his back. “What—what did you want to talk about though?”

He turns to face you, a small smile on his lips. “It’s nothing now. Don’t worry. I’m going to head home but we’ll talk soon, yeah?”

~~~~~

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck—”

“What?!” You shout at Hoseok, who sits at his desk beside you, “Why are you freaking out?”

“Dae just texted me.” He tells you, “And it’s…”

“It’s? It’s what?”

“Holy shit. What am I going to do?” He drags his hands down his face, “We have barely spoken since you know what, but now this???”

“What?”

“Apparently, Taehyung and Dae are going to get here this evening. She said Taehyung planned it and is wanting her to come so he doesn’t fall asleep on the drive…plus in his eyes—well, in his eyes I didn’t,” He lowers his voice into a whisper, “you know, fuck his sister and leave her the next morning!” 

“Oh, damn.” You can’t help but smirk. “This should be entertaining.”

“He wants all of us to go out tonight for drinks,” Hoseok groans, “Jeremy and Jimin already confirmed they’d go but they don’t have to see Dae!”

“They will see Dae?”

“Yeah but they don’t have to see her after they’ve,” He lowers his voice again, “Fucked her!”

“True. But uh, Jimin said he would go?” You try to act nonchalant, eyes going back to your screen. “Cool.”

“Why are you being weird?” Hoseok accuses you right away. “Did something happen?”

“I wish I knew.” You tell him, “He’s barely talking to me today.”

“For real? He’s been blowing my phone up.” Hoseok shrugs, “Wait, once again, did something happen?”

“He came over to talk last night, uh, I told him I was going to give things with Namjoon a shot and he got weird and left. I texted him asking is he got home safe, blah, blah but anyway, he’s been so dry with me.”

“He came to talk but you told him…are you serious?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me you aren’t serious.”

“But I am serious.”

“I know you aren’t that dumb, y/n.” Hoseok tells you with a straight face. “You really—”

“I made my decision, Hoseok.” You glance at your phone when you see a text from Dae. “Anyway, I’ll tell Naomi. I guess we are all hanging out tonight.”

Present 

“No, no, no.” Taehyung looks at everyone with shocked eyes. “Dae?! Even you?!”

“Yes, even me, brother.” She looks unimpressed, taking another sip of her drink just for fun now.

“Hold on. Jimin?! But also…y/n?! Wait,” He slurs, a grin starting to form. “I will be the happiest man alive if you guys both had sex at the same time.” Then he looks a little puzzled, “I mean because it was you know,” He starts thrusting his pointing finger inside a hole he made with his other hand’s fingers. “Together.” 

“Jeez, Taehyung.” You grumble, “Yeah, whatever. We did.” You look across the table to see Jimin who just sits here, eyes on his drink only. 

“What?!” Taehyung shouts, “How?! How did that happen?! Oh my god, I have so many questions but I need to continue down this list. Okay, skipping Dae…Hoseok?! Who did you have sex with in the last week???” 

Hoseok gulps, his eyes accidentally going straight to Dae and Taehyung is pretty quick to pick up what Hoseok is putting down.

“Wait, wait.” Taehyung points between Hoseok and Dae. “My…my sister?! Ah, come on, man! Not my sister! I know I wanted you to find someone! But not my sister!!!!”

“Why? You don’t think I’m good enough for your friend, Taehyung?” Dae rolls her eyes, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t seem to think so either.” 

“Hey, I never said that.” Hoseok says, voice only directed at Dae. “I—seriously I don’t think that, Dae. I’m sor—”

“Moving the fuck on,” Taehyung looks at Jeremy now. “Jeremy?! Oh my god, was it the girl you went out with last week? She is pretty hot, bro. Surprised you didn’t tell us in the group chat though!” 

Jeremy glances around the table before reaching for his glass and chugging the remainder of his drink. 

“I’m curious too actually.” You look over at Jeremy, “You didn’t say anything. And Naomi, who the hell did you sleep with? I’m so confused…have you been seeing someone? Wait!” You look at her shocked, “Did you meet someone and had a one night stand?!”

Naomi reaches for her glass as well and starts chugging. 

“Is this…” Dae glances around the table, “Is this not obvious to everyone?”

“They aren’t the brightest here.” Jimin finally says something, mumbling at he sips his drink again.

“Jeremy, you slept with Mimi?” Hoseok pats his back, “You didn’t even tell us!” 

“Mimi this, Mimi that.” Naomi mocks, “Hate to break it to you guys,” She lifts her head and looks at everyone, “But I just don’t think Jeremy is that into her.”

“Naomi, stop.” Jeremy warns, “We already—”

“We already what?” She rolls her eyes.

“You don’t even like the way I talk to girls! You think the ‘weird’ poetry shit I do is cringey!” Jeremy suddenly shouts, “You hate it!”

“I do think it is cringey!” Naomi shouts back, you all look at these two confused as hell. “But I don’t hate it, you dumbass.”

“You do hate it! You think it’s cringe??!?!”

“Yes, it’s literally the cringiest shit but I don’t hate it!” 

“What the hell is happening?” You ask, looking at Hoseok and he’s just as confused as you. 

“That doesn’t even make sense?!” Jeremy tells Naomi, “You’re driving me crazy!”

“It does make sense!” Naomi looks frustrated, “You know…okay, you know that weird ass shoulder dance y/n does?”

“Why are you bringing me into this?” You ask with a straight face.

“Yeah,” Jeremy nods, eyeing Naomi wondering where she is going with this. “It’s literally the worst thing I have ever seen.”

“Exactly! It’s so horrible and disgusting and so fucking—”

“Yeah, it’s absolutely cringe.” Hoseok adds his two cents.

“What the hell is happening?” You ask, “How did this become about me??”

“We always tell y/n we hate it and it’s so cringey but we laugh our asses off every time she does it and we know she’s always going to do it, right? We think it’s the worst thing we’ve ever seen but we love it, don’t we?” Naomi looks at Jeremy, “It’s the worst but we love it. We never want her to stop the stupid thing she does with her shoulders.”

Jeremy’s mouth falls open a little as he realizes what Naomi is saying, “Wait. Are you…”

“Your poetry is cringe Jeremy but I love it because it’s yours and it’s you and god, you’re so stupid.” Naomi stands from her chair, “I’m going to get another drink.”

“I’m coming with you.” Dae stands as well, “Suddenly I want to get black out drunk.”

“Wait, wait.” You stop the girls from leaving. “But who did you have sex with, Naomi??”

“Are you serious…” Dae shakes her head at you, “It’s so obvious girl, come on.”

“It’s really not?” You question, eyes going to Hoseok who is just as lost as you.

“Yeah, I don’t get it either.” Hoseok tells you guys, “Jimin and y/n, Me and …Dae…and uh, Jeremy with Mimi but who’s your person?”

“Ha!” Naomi rolls her eyes harder than ever, “Mimi! Yeah fucking right. He didn’t go home with Mimi last Friday. Did you Jeremy? He came to my place after their little date and I’m sure you guys can figure out the rest.”

“I’m literally…figure what out?” You look at Hoseok and he shrugs.

“Oh my god…” Jimin huffs out, “Jeremy went to Naomi’s place after his date and somehow ended up fucking Naomi.”

“What?” You blink at Jimin before you snort, Hoseok joining you immediately, “Yeah, there is no way.”

“You guys are so dense.” Dae deadpans. “It was in front of you guys this whole time.”

You and Hoseok are still laughing but when Jeremy and Naomi don’t say anything you guys start quieting down, confusion growing more and more.

“Wow.” Taehyung glances at Aeri, “You are never wrong about these things!” 

Aeri starts laughing drunkenly, “I told you!” 

“This is…I’m just going to go home and get drunk now.” Naomi groans, “Dae, you in?”

“Hell yeah, I will never say no to something like that.”

“y/n?” Naomi asks you as well but you’re still looking between here and Jeremy and wondering how you missed this.

“Uh,” You blink at her before your eyes find Jimin. “Actually, I’m going to stay for a bit.”

“Suit yourself.” Dae says, spinning in her spot to leave.

“Wait, Dae—” Hoseok stands from his chair but her and Naomi wave everyone off before they head out.

“This is crazy.” Jeremy mumbles, “Naomi…oh god.” 

“So you fucked Naomi but then what?” Taehyung slurs.

“I uh, told her I didn’t mean to do that because we’re friends…good friends.” Jeremy looks down at the table, “Then she went on about how we are for sure just friends…so she obviously regretted it, right? Anyway, It’s been hell since.”

“Well,” Hoseok lips set into a straight line. “This week is suddenly making so much sense.”

“Okay, now to the pairing I am most curious about.” Taehyung shows you all a mischievous grin, “Jimin, care to explain how you sexed up our wonderful y/n?” He winks at you both, making Aeri giggle more. 

Jimin sighs out, his hand sweeping through his hair as he stands. “It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t feel appropriate to talk about when she basically has a boyfriend.” 

“But they aren’t tech—”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Jimin smiles at Taehyung. “She’s into him and going to take that next step!” And then he’s walking off towards the bar.

“Next st—”

“Jimin.” You stand too, walking after him. 

“Oh.” Aeri sways into Taehyung’s side, “It’s just us now! Well, us and the guy who had sex with your sis—”

“LALALALA!”

~

“Jimin!” You call for the man, trying your best to catch up with him. He gets to the bar and you finally make it by his side, leaning against the bar top as you stare at his side profile. “Can you just tell me what is wrong?” 

“Nothing.” He stares ahead but you aren’t buying it—obviously. 

“Can you just…can you look at me?” Your hand goes to his shoulder and he tenses beneath your touch. “Jimin?”

He sighs out heavily before turning to face you, his eyes locking with yours when you decide you can easily read him but you don’t want to. You don’t want to read everything he is saying but he tells you anyway.

“This is a mistake, y/n.” He tells it to you straight.

“What is?”

“Namjoon.” 

Yeah, you scoff at this because to be frank—it annoys you. It irks you that he isn’t supporting your decision about Namjoon. And you cannot figure out why 100%. 

“Okay.” You brows pull up quickly before you relax them. “That’s cool.”

“It’s all for the wrong reasons and you know it.” The tone of his voice chooses to annoy you more than anything. “You aren’t in love with him.”

“I don’t need to be in love with him, I just need to like him. God, it does not have to be that deep.”

“You like him the same way you liked the pet fish you had your freshmen year.”

“Just stop,” 

“No.”

“You’ve been cold to me because you don’t think I should date Namjoon? That seems immature.”

“It’s not…” Jimin’s eyes soften, “Maybe I am immature. But I am only telling you this because I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later…”

“So none of your reasons are selfish ones?” You snap, Jimin’s brows pulling together before he breaks his eye contact with you to stare at the floor. “I need this Jimin.”

“Need what?”

Yeah, need what? That’s a great question. You’re letting something take over you, something close to a frustration but you aren’t sure what. This feels like something is coming to the surface—something not even the voice in your head has spoken yet. 

“How is it…” Your voice is cold towards him, “That you got to move on and experience love again but I never got to? How come you got to but I never did? What? You think me trying my hardest to have something new for myself is bad? Is a fucking mistake? Rich coming from someone who already got this chance.”

Jimin’s eyes rise to meet yours and it feels like a punch to the gut. His eyes are full of something close to pain yet he tries to smile.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He tells you quietly, softly even. “I shouldn’t be trying to…” He pauses, swallowing hard to calm himself. “You’ve made your decision. I don’t know if I don’t want you to be with Namjoon for selfish reasons or because I really do think you aren’t doing the right thing. Maybe it’s both.” He tries to smile a little more. “Yeah, it’s both.”

“W-What are your selfish reasons?” You find yourself asking but Jimin just scoffs to himself, smile still in place.

“You already know them.” He tells you simply. “The night we talked about what we did—the sex. We said the things we were going to discuss were, how it went, what it meant, why did we do it and what do we do now.”

“I remember.” You tilt your head, “What about it?”

“We knew how it went. We talked about why we did it and what we do now but neither of us had an answer for ‘what it meant’ and I didn’t tell you the truth. You said you didn’t know and I agreed. But I lied, y/n.” His smile is still in place and it makes you feel anxious. Especially because his eyes are void of any positive emotion. 

“You lied?”

“Yeah,” He hums. “I know what it meant to me.”

“What…what did it mean to you, Jimin?”

“Why would I even need to tell you that when you’ve already made your decision, y/n?” His smile starts dropping. “I told you that you’re afraid of having a love again like what you had with me and you said ‘maybe’ but I think the thing you’re afraid of is me.” Jimin’s eyes bore into yours, his gaze so intense as they gloss over. “And,” He gulps. “I fucking get it. Because I,” He pauses, gaze still set on you as he tries to push down his emotions. “I am also so fucking afraid of you.” 

[kpop-with-mars]

I Don't Cry Lee Minho x Male reader

{this fic will also be posted on AO3 if anyone would prefer to read on their}

{he's always been teasing you, not for anything specific but over time you two just started to hate eachother, but you don't even know how it started so why did he suddenly separate himself from you?,then that day when minho thought he saw the last of you...}

Genre's ↓

tags{enemies to lovers, one shot (PT 2 if requested), Angst, fluff in the end, high school AU, swearing,}

word count{1,3k+}

☢Warnings!☢

{if something in this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable please dont read and find something else, I've never written any sort of Angsty fic so this might be cringe but I'll try my best, gets intense VERY quickly, bullying?, homophobia, coming out, I don't own any gifs/images that might be used in this, and terribly sorry if the time line is weird, I also know nothing about high school due to a condition called ✨controlling parents that home school their kids✨}

Alright that's it please enjoy! <3

"Why the hell are you here?!" Minho spat, "oh what your gonna throw a fit cause were in the same class, fucking baby" Y/N and Minho have been like this for a while now, whenever they were seen in the same room the other students whould take bets to see who would win and who would storm out, the two of them used to be like platonic soul mates and then something happened that separated them.

"Not again, this is the third time this week and its only tuesday" jisung Minho and y/n's friend stated. "guys come on let's keep the peace until next week at least" Felix slightly shouted trying to keep them away from eachother

"Piss off" Minho shouted back, "don't you talk to Felix like that, he's not the one being an asshole" y/n said putting a hand on felixs shoulder in an attempt to push Felix behind him. Bang chan stood up and quickly made his way to Minho placing his hands on minho's shoulders, things were getting a bit too heated "woah there Minho its okay, just be the bigger person" bang chan tried to comfort.

But Minho just about had enough of it, pushing through bang chan he grabbed y/n and pinned him down to the desk by the collar of his shirt, "I have dealt with you for 2 fucking years and you still can't learn your lesson, i seriously thought you understand by now" "understand what, that all you do is whin-" y/n got cut off,

"THAT I NEVER NEEDED YOU, EVEN WHEN I WAS YOUR 'FRIEND'"

Silence,

just silence filled the room as minho realised what he had done, he doesn't think he meant to but did he? Its true that minho really didn't like y/n, but he did love him, so much more then he could say and do, but one day he just distanced himself from minho until he barely saw him, why? WHY!? Minho wanted to scream he never thought of losing y/n but yet he has and it felt like there was no chance to go back to the time when they were friends who would always spend any of there free time with eachother, cry inside eachothers sweaters when they were at their absolute worst while they held hands and exchanged words of comfort and love, the kind of friend minho would always look for if he was lost and would die trying to find him, but it was to late he couldn't find him, he lost him for so long he forget how sweet his voice was, how he always knew how to make minho feel like he was the most loved person in the universe.

Y/n's eyes filled with giant tears, he thought minho just didn't like him but he never knew he would go this far. Y/n gets himself out from minho's grasp and hurries out the door after giving minho one last glance that would haunt minho for what felt like years.

minho hadn't seen y/n, he would catch quick glances coming from the guys and think about how he could have prevented this,

Y/n was more then heartbroken after what minho said and the fact that he actually said that to him, it was a new thing for minho to hurt y/n even though from time to time he would get called slurs, but something about what minho said left a giant hole in him.

he was so beyond hurt,

and he still thinks Minho is acting like he didn't say anything on that day before they hated eachother, when really minho didn't know what he said that hurt y/n so bad that he tried to suppress he feelings for minho by putting a wall between himself and minho.

|2 years earlier|

It was after summer, the both of them were really excited to see eachother again even though they've been talking online and thorough text, and to welcome the students back the school decided to throw a sort of 'welcome back to hell' prom.

as y/n starts getting ready for the party he hears the sound of minho coming up the stairs, "y/n are you ready yet?, I wanna get there early so we can meet up with the guys" he whines knocking on the door, "oh my god yes already" y/n says in a laughing manner, minho opens the door to see how he looked, and he's dazed the suit y/n was wearing isn't super expensive or fancy like that, it was simple but just the little touches y/n added to it made him look almost like a god to minho, his ears start turning red as he looks at y/n and he wonders how he managed to get someone like y/n.

"come on minho-ah lets go!, Didn't you wanna get there early" he giggles as he takes minho's hand and drags him down stairs, "wait!, I have something for you two!" Y/n's mom rushes over to y/n and minho, she gives them matching corsage's in both of there favorite colors "can't be prom without matching corsage's" y/n's mom beams looking proud of y/n and minho, "thank's mom!" Y/n responds heading for the door "hold on!, I need to take a photo" y/n's dad chimes in with a Polaroid camera, minho puts his arm around y/n's shoulders y/n doing the same for minho.

The two of them wave to y/n's parents, as they get into the car minho pulls something out of his pocket "what's that?" Y/n questions, "gimme your hand" y/n puts his hand out for minho to see, he puts a ring on y/n's finger that he had got it made for him during the summer, "can you put mine on now?" Minho exclaims holding his hand out, y/n slips the ring on minho's finger the two of them looking at their rings, y/n's ring had minho's signature on it and minho's had y/n's on his "is this a marriage proposal?" "that depends do you want it to be?" The both of them laughed.

The two of them make their way to the entrance, the other 7 sitting at a table in the corner chatting when they notice y/n and minho, "aww look those two" jeongin the youngest of them points at y/n and minho holding hands wearing their matching rings and corsage's, "they look like a married couple" hyunjin adds, y/n and minho try to go to the others until minho's phone starts vibrating minho taking it out of his pocket to see who it is "hey I'll be back in a minute i gotta take this" minho says walking away from y/n,

Minho has been getting calls alot for the past few months from his parents at times when they were together, y/n followed minho to the bathroom and went in the stall next to the one he's in y/n was just curious about why his parents calling him alot lately,

"hello" minho muttered clearly upset

"you're coming home now" minho's mom shouted through the phone

"But im trying to have fun and you were the one that told me to go"

"your behavior has been so disrespectful and so rebellious lately, and im starting to think its because of him, isn't it"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"you two are getting way too close and I don't want you to start going out with y/n"

"WELL IM NOT OKAY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WHOULD HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE LIKE HIM, I JUST NEED TO DISTANCE MYSELF FROM THAT THING, I FEEL SO DISGUSTED BY HIM SO I'LL STOP NOW"

y/n froze he didn't even come out to him yet, but he can already see minho calling him terrible things and laughing at him, y/n didn't even know who minho was anymore, could he still trust him?, Can he just forget about minho and his friends?, All of those feelings y/n hid so deep inside him that they just keep getting stronger and stronger everytime he looks at minho?.

Y/n ran out of the bathroom a crying mess, leaving minho to end the call and realize that y/n heard everything he had just said.

|End of flash back|

It's been a few months since the fight, after everyone left for school he decided to vist for y/n since he hasn't seen him in almost a year.

minho knocks on the door to y/n's, house his mom answering it "minho I haven't seen you in while is everything okay" "can I see y/n, please? its really important" minho responed, y/n's mom let him in and he went straight up to y/n's room, he knocked lightly on the door before coming in, and when he did he saw him on the floor with his head against his bed crying,

Minho couldn't handle it any more, he rushed over to y/n and collapsed next to him about to cry as well, "tell me,.. Tell everything that's hurting you, please" minho begged him holding on tightly to y/n's hands "you won't understand" "then try to make me understand," minho said looking at y/n and making eye contact,

"I'm gay"

Minho went silent in response to y/n's words and Hesitated "see I knew you wouldn't understa-" y/n was cut off once again,

but this time by minho pressing his lips on y/n's, minho pulled away there faces still close, "im bi" he responded minho's eyes still glued to his lips, y/n backed away from minho's face tears still forming in his eyes "then why did you say all of that about me?, at prom" he sobbed debating in his head if minho lied about what he said or if he really was disgusted by him and wanted to humiliate him even more,

Minho hold his face caressing y/n's cheeks "I lied about everything I said on that phone call, I didn't want my parents to throw me out just like that, I thought lying about my feelings toward you was the right to do in the moment to hide it" he quickly responded crying with the boy who him better then he knew himself, y/n embraced him tightly crying in his chest minho hugging him back, the two of them staying like that for a while calming eachother down like they did before the fall of their friendship,

"wow,i feel like shit." Said minho wiping his eyes with tissues after their little moment "you look like it, too." Y/n teased before minho lightly bumped shoulders with him

"Besides I thought strong guys like you didn't cry" he joked

"I Dont cry" minho remarked tackling y/n to the bed littering his face with kisses.

I hope you enjoyed this thanks for reading! <3

[whisper-my-serenade]

telephone

in which charlie recieves a rather odd phone call from his good friend neil.

words: 1881

cw: ppl being drunk

Charlie hated the night shift. He knew he needed the job (his parents had cut him off after college, the bastards), and he needed some way to pay rent until he inevitably took a cushy job at the place his dad worked, and he knew he could have it a lot worse, but still. Bartending wasn’t such a bad gig, all considered, he did get to meet quite a few interesting people and it paid good, but being home at 3 am every weekend should have been the result of all those nights being free, not working his ass off in a sweaty bar. And God, had it been hot in there that night. Charlie rolled down the windows of his Mercedes, letting the sweet night air fill the car as he drove the familiar route back to his apartment.

It was summer, and Santeria was blasting through his car’s stereo from his phone. Charlie sang along on occasion, his voice cracking from overuse. He was used to talking over people, sure, but the constant yelling at the bar was making him sound like a ninety year old smoker. And that wasn’t fair, seeing as he was only a twenty-three year old smoker. Well, I swear that I, well I really want to know, ah, baby, what I really want to say, I can't define, that love, make it go, my soul will have to.

Suddenly, the music cut out, replaced by the familiar bouncing opening notes of a Wham! song. Charlie carefully took his eyes off the road to look at the screen of his phone in the cup holder beside him, and, sure enough, “Shakesperry: FaceTime Video”. Neil had not picked his own contact name, obviously, though he had requested his ringtone. Didn’t even pick Careless Whisper, the only good Wham! song.

Charlie pulled off the main road and into his neighborhood before reaching a hand down to swipe the screen, eyes not leaving the road. He heard the woosh of the video starting, and then the moan of Neil’s voice. “Charlieeee!”

“Neil, I’m driving, so…” Charlie stopped to listen to the audio of the call for a minute. Soft sobs were coming through the speakers, muffled by fabric and the phone. “You okay?”

“Yeahhhh,” Neil whined.

Charlie pulled the car into his usual parking spot in front of his building, which was always free since he only went anywhere at night. “What the hell is一okay, I just got home, you’re gonna have to give me a minute.”

Neil sniffled a little, his screen casting a white glow around his mostly dark video. “Okay.”

Charlie dashed up the stairs to his floor, doing his well-practiced work speed walk down to his door and quietly putting the key in the lock (his landlady often complained if he was too loud coming home). Once the door latched and he had flicked the overhead light on, he propped his phone against an empty bottle on his coffee table and flopped himself down on the couch. “Okay, Neil, hit me.” Neil sniffled again and let out a sigh.

“I just一ugh.” His head was buried in his arms, and Charlie could see he was at his desk, the room scarcely illuminated and music too soft to make out bubbling in the background.

“Are you dying? Do you want me to call someone?” Charlie asked sarcastically, his patience already stretched thin from work.

“Nononono, everything’s fine, just一” His voice was slurred and slow.

“Oh God, you’re drunk, aren’t you?” Neil finally lifted his head and nodded. Charlie let out a deep sigh. No emergency, then. Neil had always been a weepy drunk. “Well, get on with it, then. What happened?”

Neil’s teary eyes blinked a few times, mind looking for words. After a few seconds, he slumped back down into his arms, only his fluffy dark hair visible. “I just love him, y’know?”

Charlie furrowed his brows and gave Neil a look he couldn’t see. “Who, Todd?”

“Yeah.”

“Did something happen with you two, or…” Charlie seriously doubted anything happened, mostly because Neil and Todd had learned how to healthily work out their shit in the first years of college, but also because Neil was never stupid enough to get drunk while he was upset. He may have always gotten weepy towards the end, but he at least wanted the first bit to be fun.

“No, he was just一he was just here and we were drinking and…” Neil stumbled through the words, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his face with his hands. “I just love him so much.”

Charlie rolled his eyes. He knew Neil could be sappy, but Jesus. “So you called me drunk at three in the morning just to tell me how much you love your boyfriend. Who you say that to. Constantly.” Charlie was about to placate him with his usual ‘he loves you too’ and hang up so he could go the fuck to bed, but Neil suddenly dropped his hands and leaned forward again, a strange smile on his blotchy face.

“Nonono, you don’t get it. He’s the one! He’s the one, Charlie!” He was clearly holding back tears, rubbing his hands over his eyes again. “He’s just so sweet, and pretty, and一God! I want to spend the rest of my life with him!”

“Oh,” Charlie said quietly.

Charlie didn’t have a lot of good examples of what lifelong love looked like. His parents certainly weren’t good role models, nor were any of his friends’ parents or his numerous aunts and uncles. Charlie had watched his grandmother try to keep the smug grin off her face at her husband's funeral that had been haunting the family ever since she was told she would get both vacation homes. “Life” and “love” were not generally words that went together in his world, unless someone was speaking at their third husband’s wake. Love in general Charlie was not an expert at一body count was a signifier of some sort of prowess, but it was not a romantic statistic.

If anyone was really in love, though, it was Neil and Todd. Charlie had seen Neil pining all through high school, had been the one driving while he screamed Line Without a Hook on deserted country roads in the middle of the night. He’d been the first one to see them emerge from a bedroom at a post-graduation party, lips bitten and red, giggling and blushed. Neil had called him, practically screaming in delight, when he found out they’d be moving to the city together, and the look of pure delight in Todd’s eyes when Neil entered the room was warmly familiar. Charlie was so used to the idea of them being a couple that a world where they weren’t seemed an odd thought, indeed. One that had never even crossed his mind. Of course they would grow old together, how couldn’t they? It was Neil and Todd. They would always come as a pair. Even if it wasn’t said out loud, it was a given. Neil of all people should have known that.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called. I’m a mess, you just got off一”

“No, Neil, it’s fine.” Charlie shook his head and gave a soft smile, fingers absently playing with a coin on the table. “You know he’s absolutely mad about you, right?”

“You think so?”

“Please, a fool could see it. I know he’s not one to say stuff like that, but when you’re next to him一you can just tell.”

Neil giggled a little, wiping his nose with his hand. “God, I’m a fool. I never thought I even could fall this hard for someone.”

Charlie raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I knew you could. You’ve always been a lovesick bastard,” he said in response to Neil’s confused look. Neil leaned back, head craning so Charlie could only see the pale bared skin of his neck. There was a small, fresh pink bruise peeking out of the collar of his shirt, and Charlie let out a laugh. “I see you two have been busy.”

Neil’s head shot up, face glowing red. He laughed heartily, hanging his head down and closing his eyes as his shoulders shook. “Oh, ‘Wanda. I’m sorry, I should let you sleep一”

“You should tell him that. What you just told me. I'm sure the poet in him would love to hear it.”

Neil was quiet for a minute, a content look on his face. “Think I’ll wait till the proposal for that.”

Charlie’s eyes widened. “Oh?”

Neil laughed again, resting his elbows against the desk. “Don’t worry, that’s not in the works. Not yet, anyways.”

“Didn't I tell you the first day you said you liked him that you’d end up married?”

“Yeah, that was during your astrology phase. You fancied yourself a prophet.”

“Hey, Venus told me so, okay?” Charlie feigned offense and soon they were both laughing, voices echoing through the small phone speaker.

There was a minute of silence, which Neil broke. “I’d marry him in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would.”

“You’ll be best man?”

“What if I wanna walk you down the aisle instead, huh?” Neil laughed again, then yawned deeply, stretching his arms out as wide as they could go. Another love bite on his forearm made itself visible. “I think you ought to get some sleep, lover boy.”

“Yeah, yeah, probably.”

Charlie gave him a smirk. “Tell me all about the hangover when you wake.”

“You’re gonna have to get in line, I think I promised Todd I’d call him in the morning.”

“You think?”

“I’m pretty sure I also promised him my firstborn so who knows.”

“Well, it’s gonna be his kid too, so I don’t think that one counts.”

Neil smiled, eyes closed, and crossed his arms. “I’m gonna marry that boy, Charlie.”

“I don’t think anyone else stands a chance compared to you, not with him.”

“Please hang up now or we’re never gonna stop talking.”

Charlie laughed and leaned forward to grab his phone. “Goodnight, Perry. Tell your fiancé I say hi.”

“G’night, Nuwanda,” Neil said sleepily.

Charlie pressed the end call button and got himself ready for bed before curling himself under his duvet. He hummed Santeria to himself for a while as he slowly drifted off, for once thankful he worked late so that Neil’s call could be answered. He’d have to tell this story to Todd sometime, he thought, knowing the other man would find it hilarious. Maybe the next time one of them got drunk or proposed or something.

-

He told it at their wedding, it turned out. He had any number of embarrassing stories to choose about either of them, but there was something satisfying about describing Neil weeping about his love while the current Neil nearly cried with laughter, holding his husband’s hand above the table. Of course they made it, everyone knew they would. Todd turned to kiss Neil’s cheek as the toast closed to raucous applause, and Charlie smiled brightly. If Neil did get weepy drunk tonight (which there was a good chance of), Charlie knew he was in safe hands. He may not have known a lot about love, but he knew those two were made for each other. And Neil knew it, too.

(tags: @inahallucination @crumbly-apple-pie and ofc feel free to ask if u want to be added <3)

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 1)

Monday     Tuesday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, homophobia (f slurs and d slur), panic attacks, toxic friends, mentions of attempted suicide/getting told to kill yourself

Word count: 6,377

(A/N): ok, so I definitely got carried away with this, so I had to split Thursday into two parts. If I kept it in one part, it’d probs be like 10k-11k words long lmao

You woke up feeling strangely more refreshed than usual. Glancing at your clock, you saw that you actually woke up about thirty minutes before your alarm went off. You got a whopping twelve hours of sleep, a stark contrast from your recent sleep schedule consisting of no more than four hours a night. You felt like you could rule the world with how much energy you had. Sure, you felt anxiety pooling in your stomach like you usually did and you had a terrible dream about Haley rejecting you and getting completely outed to the entire school, but that did not stop you from throwing your covers off your bed and walking down the hall to the kitchen with the most confidence you’ve had since starting high school.

When you got to the kitchen, you saw a dead looking Uncle Schlatt slumped at the table chugging coffee and a chipper Philza trying to make conversation. Usually, you would’ve joined Schlatt in being dead inside, but today was different. You were filled to the brim with energy that you haven’t had in years. As you walked through the door, their heads turned towards you.

“Mornin Dad, mornin Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle merely grunted before going back to guzzling down his coffee. Your dad smiled at you, “well, looks like someone’s well rested.”

“Yeah, I got like twelve hours of sleep last night.”

“Glad to hear it, hun. You really needed it.”

“Glad to hear someone’s feeling well rested,” your uncle grumbled into his coffee. 

“Schlatt, don’t be such a downer all the time,” Philza rolled his eyes at your uncle. 

“Fuck you Phil, I’m a ball of fuckin sunshine. Ain’t that right, sweetheart?” 

“Yeah, Dad, I don’t know what you’re talkin about. Uncle Schlatt’s the heart and soul of this house. Even if he doesn’t live here.”

Schlatt gave a booming laugh, “suck it Phil. And that, (y/n), is why you’re my favorite niece.”

“At least I’m someone’s- wait. I’m your only niece.”

“Still my favorite niece!”

You grinned happily, that was better than nothing. “Love ya, Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle’s cocky grin turned more sincere and he diverted his full attention to you, “love ya too, kid.”

“Love each other quieter, you woke me up.” Wilbur’s tired voice complained as he walked into the room and slumped into his chair next to Schlatt. Schlatt clapped a hand onto his shoulder and rustled his hair.

“My man! How’s Sally, huh?”

Wilbur flushed red and started sputtering as Philza turned his confused gaze to his son. “Who’s Sally, Wilbur?”

You couldn’t leave your brother high and dry when he accepted you for being yourself so readily yesterday, so you quickly jumped in for him. “Sally’s just one of his friends at school. They’re job shadowing together for their project. Right, Wilbur?” You turned towards the flustered man with a somewhat forced smile and raised eyebrows. He looked at you with immense relief and nodded vigorously, his hair flopping onto his forehead. 

“Yes! We’re planning on job shadowing our band director, he said that it’d be a good idea if we want to major in music.” 

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me about her before! You should invite her over for dinner, I’d love to meet her!” Oh, your dad did not buy your terrible excuse for Wilbur, that man is like a bloodhound when it comes to sniffing out lies. Poor, poor Wilbur. 

Despite the blush remaining on his cheeks, Wilbur seemed to think that Philza actually bought his weak excuse. “I’ll invite her over soon. Does Friday night next week work?”

Philza grinned cheekily, “yes! I can’t believe you haven’t brought her over sooner if you’re close enough to job shadow with her!”

At this point, Schlatt’s face was cherry red with his almost failed attempt to hold in his laughter. “I’m not missin this. Me an’ Tubbs are comin over next Friday.” 

Wilbur still hasn’t noticed that they hadn’t bought it, you thought he was more perceptive than that. Eventually, Philza started to make breakfast and conversation lulled into a comfortable silence as everybody waited for Techno, Tommy, and Tubbo. Deciding to pull out your phone, you scrolled through your notifi- wait. Why did you have forty-two messages from Adrian and Sammy? Why did they make a groupchat with everyone except Annie? Furrowing your brows in confusion, you opened the group chat. What you read made your breathing catch in your chest and your skin blanch, it wasn’t a dream. Everything was real.

Sammy <3

(y/n) you fucking pervert

How could you do this to us????

Adrian <3

We’ve given you everything and yet you’re still a disgusting person. 

Fucking faggot

We thought we could fix you, but you’re broken

You’re always going to be

Sammy <3

And now, you’re gonna go to hell with all the other dykes and fairies.

It’ll probably be heaven for you, surrounded by perverts like yourself

You’re staying far away from Annie

Adrian <3

You’ve put her through so much shit and now this

We swear to god if you talk to her again we’re gonna make you wish you would’ve gone through with killing yourself freshman year

We’re leaking the pictures slut

You felt your anxiety melt away into betrayal. So they were yours and Haley’s stalkers? How dare they try to leak Haley’s pictures. They could leak yours, you didn’t give a shit if yours were leaked. You could learn to live with it, you always did after all the shit you put yourself through throughout the years, but Haley’s? She didn’t do anything. Even if her rejection was painful, you still deeply cared for her. She didn’t deserve that. You, however, did for not being normal. For making people around you uncomfortable with your presence. 

(Y/n)

That was you guys?????

Why the fuck would you do that

I trusted you 

All of you

Sammy <3

We trusted you too dyke

But you’re a two-faced bitch

And to think we actually thought you were our friend

Were you only friends with Ann and I so you could get into our pants?

I’m disgusted

You’re a fucking pervert.

Adrian <3

We shouldn’t have talked you out of suicide freshman year

You fucking deserve it

Make Annie’s life easier and just swan dive off a roof

You’ll be doing everyone a favor

(Y/n)

Listen, I don’t care if you leak my pictures.

Just don’t leak Haley’s

She has no part in this

I’ll leave you guys alone if you delete Haley’s pictures

Hell, I’ll do anything for you if you could release them after the final volleyball match today

It’s Haley’s time to shine and she deserves the attention as team captain

She’s worked so hard to get there all of high school and leaking my nudes would take the attention away from her

Let her have her moment

Sammy <3

For once she has a point

She probably manipulated the poor girl

Who knows what the fag would’ve done to her if we didn’t expose her

Adrian <3

Fine, we’ll delete Haley’s pictures and we’ll wait until after the game

But we’re leaking yours

You deserve it for what you did to Annie and Haley

“Kid, are you okay? You’re kinda pale over there buddy.”

Looking up from your phone, you saw everybody’s eyes on you. They each looked concerned, but Wilbur even more so. He was the only one in the room at the moment that knew about your panic attacks. He stood up from his spot and walked over to you with long strides.

“She just remembered the homework in stats that we forgot about. Techno asked us in the group chat about it, we were just about to go and see if he could help us.” 

“But Wilbur, I thought you took statistics last year.”

“No, that was algebra two, I’m taking stats this year,” that was a lie, he was in pre-calculus this year. “C’mon (y/n), lets go finish that assignment.” 

He grabbed your shoulder and hauled you into a stand before grabbing your hand and practically dragging you up the stairs and into Techno’s room. Said pink-haired teenager looked up angrily. “What’d I say about kno- (y/n)?”

Wilbur closed the door and locked it behind him. He dragged you over to Techno’s bed and sat you down on the edge before kneeling down to look you in the eyes.

“(Y/n), can I touch you? Is that alright?”

After you shakily nodded, he grabbed your hand and placed it over his chest. “Breathe with me.” Like yesterday, you tried to copy his movements, but it wasn’t working. Your panic attack was just getting worse by the minute. Techno pushed Wilbur aside and took his place kneeling in front of you and grabbing your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“(Y/n), can you tell me five things you can see around the room?”

When you didn’t move your wide eyes away from Techno’s face, he frowned and gently squeezed your hand. “You can get through this. What’re five things you can see around the room?”

You reluctantly tore your eyes away from his face and peered around the room. You hadn’t noticed that your blurred vision had tunneled until you realized that you couldn’t see anything in your peripheral vision. Your unseeing eyes flicked around the room. 

You tried to swallow, but you couldn’t do anything through the lump in your throat. With a shaky voice, you gasped out “I-I can’t breathe. I-”

“Deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Follow me.”

You tried to breathe with him, and you eventually got to the point where you could speak. Your eyes flicked around the room once again and slowly recognized your surroundings. 

“You… Wilbur… Desk… Window…”

“That’s good, just one more.”

Your eyes flicked around the room, “...Book.”

“Look back at me, you’re doing so good,” when you looked back at him, he had a small smile on his face. “Nice job. Now, four things you can feel. Can you do that for me?”

You shakily nodded and looked at your hands and around your surroundings. “Bed… Pants… You… Carpet.”

“Three things you can hear?”

“You… Birds… Breathing.”

“You’re almost there, I’m so proud of you. Two things you can smell?”

“Toast and… and burning?”

Despite his confusion about the sudden burning smell, he continued to smile at you. “Good, last one. One thing you can taste?”

You licked your lips before scrunching your nose slightly, “...snot.”

“Wilbur, can you go get her a few kleenexes and a glass of water?” Techno asked his brother without taking his eyes off you.

Wordlessly, he swiftly left the room. “Are you feeling better?”

You panted as you reached up to rub at your teary eyes, “yeah, how’d you know what to do?”

His smile turned slightly bashful, “I did some research last night. I’m glad I did, that was a bad panic attack. Can I- can I ask what caused it?”

You pulled out your phone and handed it to him, letting him scroll through the messages while you brought up your knees to your chest and rested your chin on your knees. You felt tired after that attack, however you had a little bit more energy than you usually did. Only a little bit more. It was probably because you slept for half the day and through the night yesterday. You watched your brother scroll through your texts with tired eyes. 

He was emotionless as he scrolled, making you somewhat scared about what his reaction would be. He probably hasn’t gotten to the whole “go kill yourself” or the stalking parts. Judging by his set jaw and labored breathing, he was pissed already and he didn’t even get to the bad parts yet.

In the middle of his scrolling, Wilbur came back with a box of tissues, a glass of water, and a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. When you hardly moved to grab them, he sat on the bed beside you and handed you a tissue. After cleaning up, you took the glass of water and started to slowly sip at it. “Thanks, Wil.” 

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him. When he looked over Techno’s shoulder at your phone, you saw his eyebrows furrow. “Tech, what’s-”

He was interrupted as Techno shoved your phone into his hands and stood up to start pacing around his room. “Read it yourself.” He sounded more monotone than usual. He was absolutely furious.

You watched Wilbur’s face as he read through your messages. Unlike Technoblade, he looked furious. His eyes were set ablaze as his entire face turned an angry red. “(Y/n), what the absolute fuck? Why didn’t you tell us this was happening?”

Shrinking in on yourself and pulling your knees closer to your chest, you murmured out a small “sorry.” You saw him quickly turn his head to you as his face softened. He pulled you into a full hug.

“This isn’t your fault. None of it is, it’s all their fault,” he spat with disgust. “How’d they even get your nudes? Did you send them to anyone?”

You leaned your head against his shoulder, “that’s the thing, Wil. I’ve never taken nudes before. They took them through my window. I deserve it.”

You felt him freeze up and heard Techno pause his pacing to stomp over to you. He tore Wilbur’s arms off from you and held you out at arms length by your shoulders. He looked the most angry than you’ve ever seen him with his furious eyes burning into your own and his mouth set in a firm frown. It was terrifying to see him that angry.

“(Y/n), you don’t deserve a single fucking thing that’s happened to you. You were manipulated and gaslit by a group of self righteous assholes. You. Do. Not. Deserve. Anything. That. Happened. To. You. Do you understand me?” 

Despite your fears of him, you were determined to protect your friends. “But I do deserve it though. I was a bad friend to them. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t be a good friend to them when they were always helping me. I’m just not a good person in general. I deserve it for not being normal.”

“(Y/n)-”

“Technoblade, that’s enough.” Wilbur cut him off with a firm tone, putting a comforting hand on your arm.

“No it isn’t Wilbur. It’s not enough until she realizes how fucking toxic they are. What they’re doing is gaslighting. You’re in a psychology class, you should know what that is. Give me the definition of it. Now.”

“It’s when someone manipulates another person for their own personal gain… I’d know if I’m being gaslit, and I’m not. They’re just telling me the truth, they keep me in check. I could put more effort into my appearance and personality. I could stand to lose a couple of pounds.” “How do you not- ya know what? Listen. Just listen. That’s the definition of being gaslit. They’re constantly putting you down and making you self conscious about every. Little. Thing because they need to put someone down to fuel their own damaged egos and they laugh at you when you show that you’re hurt by their comments. That’s not a healthy friendship, (y/n). It’s toxic. 

“Real friends would never, and I mean never, do that to you. Real friends would never tell you that you looked like shit when you’re as beautiful as Aphrodite. Real friends would never out you to the entire school when you weren’t ready. Real friends would never tell you to lose weight because they wouldn’t care about what you look like. Real friends care about your well being and they look out for you. They love you for you.”

You fell silent as you contemplated his words. Were they really that toxic? You were planning on being a psychology major in college, so why didn’t you notice that they were actually always against you? You learned in your class that manipulative people are naturally cunning and sneaky, but you couldn’t help but feel stupid. You thought that they were helping you when they were clearly toxic. It was right under your nose and you didn’t even see the signs. What kind of psychology student were you if you couldn’t recognize the obvious signs of manipulation? 

On one hand, you were filled with betrayal. But on the other hand, you felt molten hot anger overwhelm and swirl around your entire body like a cyclone absolutely decimating everything in its path with its violent winds hurling in a blind rage anything and everything without a care of the outcome. You felt the burning hatred of a thousand suns rise up from deep within your being, filling you with a hatred that you didn’t know you were capable of. 

They fucked up your entire life, not you. They were the ones with the ugly personalities, not you. They were the ones that needed to improve themselves, not you. They were bad friends, not you. They laughed at the pain they brought upon you purposefully. They completely humiliated you. They betrayed your trust. They took pictures of you without your consent. They fucked up your relationship with Haley. They violated Haley. They fucking stole her dignity from her with those disgusting pictures they took of her. They were truly vile creatures undeserving of any mercy. Not that you were actually considering being merciful, that would be too good for them. They deserved everything you were going to throw at them. You were going to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of your past self. 

You felt yourself practically vibrate with fury as you held Technoblade’s intense gaze with one of your own. “Those bastards fucking used me for years. Literal years and I thought they were there for me,” you gave a sardonic laugh, your voice shaking with anger. “I-I’m gonna fuckin kill them the next time I see their sorry asses. Make them feel what it’s like to get tossed out of a car. Make them feel what it’s like to constantly get beaten down.”

Techno’s hands gripped your shoulders in a vice grip as his eyes sparked with a crazed delight and he grinned widely at you, “that’s the spirit! You’re gonna rain hellfire upon them, beat their asses (y/n)! Fuck em up! FUCK! EM! UP!”

Wilbur, always thinking about potential consequences and the voice of reason, spoke up with hesitance. “As much as I love that you’re finally realizing that they’re toxic as hell and want revenge, you’d have to wait at least until tomorrow. If you did it today, you wouldn’t be allowed to go to finals. Besides, I don’t think that you should even fight them. You would be out- wait. They’re the ones that opened the car door and fucked up your back?” Seeing you nod, his face darkened in anger. “...(Y/n), you’re gonna fuck em up as soon as you can tomorrow. We’ll back you up if they try to gang up on you, we aren’t eighteen yet, so it’s still legal. ”

“YES, SUCCUMB TO THE ANARCHY! WE’RE GONNA FUCK EM UP!”

“YOU ARE NOT FUCKING ANYONE UP ANYTIME SOON, TECHNOBLADE.” Philza’s voice boomed from behind the closed door. Said door swung open to reveal your father’s angry form and your uncle’s intrigued, slightly proud form.

You three stared at the two for a while with gaping mouths, your previous intensity substantially diminuendos into a quiet shock. No one fucks with an angry Dadza. Techno was the quickest to get over the shock. “...How long were you standing there?”

Your father sneered. “Well, long enough to hear that you three are going to fight someone! Why the hell would you do that?” 

Your brothers looked at you in a silent question. Shaking your head, you answered in a small voice, “there’s just some people messing with me at school. They were just worried about me. We weren’t gonna actually fight someone, they were just talking about how it’d be nice to get some revenge for me. I was just about to tell them that I could handle myself and we didn’t need to fight.”

Immediately, your dad’s stiff stance relaxed slightly as his eyes pierced into your own, searching them to see if you’re lying to him or not. You felt a cold sweat drip down the back of your head at the intensity of his gaze, you hated when he did that. It always made you feel like he was staring right at your soul. Eventually, his gaze softened.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you through it.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. Plus, it’s nothing I can’t handle by myself.”

“But you looked really panicked earlier hun. Are you sure you can-”

“I just forgot about my stats homework until this morning and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get it done in time, but I did! No worries,” you spoke a little faster than usual. You prayed that he wouldn’t see through your lie. 

“...Alright. Just let me know if it gets to be too much for you and I can talk with your principal about it. Now go eat something and get ready, you only have,” he glanced at the clock on the wall, “an hour before you have to be at school. Hurry up or you’re going to be late.”

Your dad turned around and walked down the hallway away from the room. Schlatt, however, loomed in the doorway for a while before he came into the room and closed the door behind him. You three watched him warily as he eyed you and your brothers.

“...Ya know, I approve,” after seeing your confused looks, he chuckled and spoke again. “I approve of you three fuckin em up. I heard part of your conversation, and those snot nosed brats deserve it for what they did to my favorite niece.”

You three stared at him with shock, making him laugh at you. “Close your mouths, you’re gonna catch flies.” He paused for a second before leaning towards you and whispering “now, you didn’t hear it from me, but the key to a good punch is following through with it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t tuck your thumb in, that’ll break it. Make sure you center your hit on your index and middle fingers, they are the strongest points of the hand. If you need to, go for the eyes, nose, and groin.”

“I-thank you Uncle Schlatt. I really appreciate it. Just- please don’t tell dad?”

“Of course not! I mean, if you don’t fuck em up enough I will. (Y/n), when you’re done, I want details.”

You saluted sarcastically, “yessir, will do!”

He gave a boisterous laugh, “you better. Now go get ready.” 

As he was about to walk out of the room, he suddenly paused and his hand shot to his pants pocket. He pulled something out before putting it into your hand and turning again to walk out of the room. “This is from Tubbo and Tommy. They were worried about you.” In your hand laid three of your favorite candies. You felt your heart swell at their innocent, caring natures. They were honestly some of the sweetest kids you’ve ever met. 

“Well boys, you get first pics!” You held out the candy to them.

Wilbur looked at you with knitted eyebrows, “but they gave those to you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten through that panic attack without you guys helping me, so take this as a temporary thank you.” You watched as they glanced at each other before reaching out to grab a piece of candy.

“Alright, I’m gonna go get ready, you guys can take the bathroom before me. Love you guys!”

You went into your room and made sure your curtains were closed before turning to your closet. Humming in thought, you picked out a white button up and the nicest sweater you owned. You put on the collared button up then slipped the sweater on over it so that the collar poked out of the neck. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, feeling more confident in yourself than you’ve felt since you started hanging out with them. Fuck them, they always lied to you. You looked great in anything you put on. You felt elated and basked in the spectacular feeling of being able to like what you wore. 

While you waited for your brothers to leave the bathroom, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contacts before you stopped on one: Haley’s. The girl that stole your heart and relentlessly stomped on it until it was a red puddle at her feet. Despite the pain, you still loved her. She was your everything. Your thumb hovered over her icon, contemplating on texting her. You had to tell her that she didn’t have to worry about her pictures anymore. 

(Y/n)

Haley

I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I have good news

You don’t have to worry about your pics anymore

I took care of it.

You don’t have to reply to this

Just know that I took care of it and you don’t have to worry about it anymore.

You sat on your bed staring at your phone screen waiting for her to open your messages. You stared at the ‘delivered’ icon at the bottom of your message, waiting for it to say ‘read’. You stared for about ten minutes before you gave up, putting your phone in your pocket and standing up with a sigh. She would see it eventually. Just as you reached your door, you felt a vibration in your pocket. You whipped out your phone and smiled at Haley’s face on your screen. She was calling you. 

Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, you clicked the answer button, “hey Hales.”

“(Y/n), what’d you do?”

“I took care of it. That’s all you have to know.”

“I think I should know more. What’d you do?”

You paused for a moment before you hesitantly said, “I asked them to delete your pictures and they have to, it’s part of our deal.”

“...You found out who they were?”

“Yeah, but that’s not important. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“(Y/n), don’t tell me what to worry about. Who are they?”

“...Fine, it was Adrian Schnieder, Annie Lockhart, and Sammy McConnor. Ya know, you’re scary when you’re mad Hales. Remind me not to get on your bad side again.”

“It was them? You hang out around them all the time, I thought you were good friends. Why would they do that?”

Even though she couldn’t see you, you shrugged. “I dunno. I think they were just jealous. They’re assholes and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it a lot sooner. I’m sorry they put you through that, you didn’t deserve what they did to you.”

“God (y/n),” she sighed out, you imagined that she was running a hand through her hair. “I can’t imagine how much that hurt you. You four were really close.”

“I know, but it was a long time coming. Like I said, I should’ve noticed that it was them. They’ve always been toxic as hell.”

“How’d you find out? What happened?”

“Did you hear about what they did to me yesterday?”

“Should I? If you’re not comfortable talking about it, that’s totally okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re gonna hear about it eventually, shit spreads like wildfire at Klinkver. Long story short, they outed me to the entire school and thought that I was only friends with them to get in their pants. They basically told me to kill myself,” you added nonchalantly. “But that’s not the important part about this. They told me that they were the people that took those pictures of you.”

“...(Y/n), how could you say that’s not important! They fucked up your life and all you care about is my pictures? What’d they say they’d do with yours?”

“I asked them to not leak them until after the match tonight so you could have the spotlight. You deserve it after all the hard work you’ve put in to get team captain. Zuri was hard to beat and you deserve the recognition for that.”

You heard her take a deep breath through her nose, “(y/n), for once in your life care about yourself over others. You’re gonna be exposed to the entire school and it bothers me that you’re being so nonchalant about that.”

“They’ve put me through worse. Besides,” you wove a hand in the air, “it’ll all blow over sooner or later when another person gets their nudes leaked. You remember how fast people forgot about Marlene’s nudes when May’s got leaked like a week later.”

“Still, it’s degrading to have people see you like that. No matter how fast they get over it, it doesn’t change the fact that they’ve seen you. You can’t come back from that sweetheart.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at the nickname. Even if she called almost everybody that, you felt special. “I don’t care if people see my boobs, it wasn’t even a clear picture anyways. It was hella blurry.”

Your door swung open for the second time today. There stood Tommy, his eyes peering innocently at you. “Dad wanted me to tell you to hurry up.”

You smiled at him, “thank you buddy. Let him know I’ll be down in a minute. Oh, and thank you for the candy, it really made me happy.”

He beamed brightly before he sprinted down the stairs. “Was that Tommy? Is he gonna be at the match tonight?”

“Of course, he and Tubbo are our team’s mascots after all. They would never miss a game, especially our final match.”

“I can’t wait to see them, but we need to talk about this. It’s more serious than you paint it as. How are you not pissed at those dumbasses? You trusted them and they betrayed you.”

“Oh, believe me I’m furious. Heh, I’m actually kinda shaking right now because of how pissed I am. But for now, I’m just gonna imagine their faces on the ball so I can keep my mind off them until tomorrow.”

“...Please don’t tell me you’re gonna do something stupid tomorrow.”

“I wouldn’t call it stupid per se, they deserve it for what they put you through. It’s more getting justice than being stupid.”

“(Y/n), I swear to god if you start a fight just to get back at them for me, I’m gonna slap you. Think about yourself every once and a while, they put you through so much. If you feel comfortable, you’re gonna tell me everything they did to you tonight on the bus coming home.”

“So we’re gonna sit together?” You tried and failed to stomp the hopeful tone from your voice.

Her laugh sounded angelic in your ear, “of course we are silly, you’re my best friend. I gotta go, my dad’s calling me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“See ya!” When you hung up, you danced around your room with joy. You- no, they- didn’t ruin your friendship with Haley after all! Oh, you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest with joy. Even if she didn’t like you like you adored her, you still cherished your friendship. Looking back, Haley and the team always had your back, they genuinely cared about you. They were perhaps the only ones you would fully trust in the future. 

“(Y/N), HURRY UP YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!” Tommy’s voice outside your door shook you from your happy dance. “Coming!”

You ran to the bathroom and hastily went through your routine. Despite your rushing, you tried your best to look presentable. You were going to prove those snakes wrong, you were beautiful no matter what you wore or how you looked.

After running down the stairs with your bag, your dad stopped you before you could run out the door with your keys. “You look nice today hun.”

“Thanks Dad, I just wanted to dress up a bit for finals today. I’m honestly really pumped to play tonight.”

“That’s good,” he smiled at you before pulling you into a quick hug. “Just take it easy today, you need to save your energy for the match tonight... Listen, I don’t know what happened to you this morning and I don’t know exactly what’s going on in your life right now, but just know that I’m always gonna be here for you. Whether you need help with homework, advice, or if you want me to beat up someone else’s dad for you,” he chuckled, “I’ll do it.” 

You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, happy with the contact. You two stood in the hall for a moment before he pulled away and told you to leave for school. 

The drive to the school was uneventful with your brothers mainly holding up the conversation. As you pulled into the parking lot, you realized that you needed to catch up on two full days of stats homework.

“Hey Tech?” He hummed, looking over to you.

“Sorry, but would I be able to maybe copy your stats notes from Tuesday?”

“Yeah, I’ll give em to you so you can copy it before school starts. We’d have to go to Mr. Mullins for yesterday’s notes though. We can just ask him about it before school starts.”

As you pulled into a space and moved to leave the car, a hand stopped you. “(Y/n), if any of those two-faced bitches bother you at all, let us know. Don’t deal with this on your own, we’re here for you,” Wilbur said genuinely.

“Yeah, if they say anything bad about you, it’s on sight.”

You laughed, “thanks guys, I’ll let you guys know if they do anything. We gotta get going though if Tech and I wanna get those notes done.”

In the school, you and Techno successfully got your notes done before the first bell rang. The rest of class went by without a hitch with you actually somewhat understanding mostly everything being taught. You even got a question right when you were called on! Turns out not feeling weighed down by toxic people helps a lot with concentration.

The only block you were dreading was the second block. You were sure that if you even glanced at Annie and Adrian, you’d go apeshit on them. Luckily for them, they didn’t show up to class today. They were probably comforting Annie after you “manipulated” her, you thought with an eye roll. Today was just another work day, so you pulled out your laptop and opened Google Docs. You saw Annie’s and Adrian’s unfinished and you were slapped in the face with inspiration. 

They were still expecting you to finish their essays, so you were gonna finish them alright. You were going to completely rewrite their essays all about how they were terrible homophobes and how LGBT+ people are always facing some form of discrimination amongst their peers, complete with attached screenshots of them calling you slurs over text. You’d even write a little note at the beginning that would tell your teacher that they didn’t write this, but they made you write it so you deserved the credit for it. You didn’t care that this would take a while, the satisfaction that you would get would be worth it. This was going to completely screw up their grades, this essay was worth twenty five percent of your overall grade. Mr. Todd was really laid back, so he only had a few rules in the classroom. First was to respect your classmate’s time and work, second was to clean up after yourselves, and third (“the most important one” he said on the first day of school) was that he would never tolerate racism, sexism, transphobia, or homophobia in his classroom. Your masterpieces you were writing would definitely earn them a failing grade, a good scolding from Mr. Todd, and maybe a visit to the principal’s office. This would be first in a long line of gifts you have in mind for them. 

At lunch, you were slightly stumped as to where you should sit. You didn’t really know anybody in your lunch period, so you just sat at the empty table Adrian, Annie, and Sammy left for you today and ate while working on your masterpieces. Finding sources was extremely easy for you, you remembered doing extensive research about discrimination when you first found out that you weren’t the straight girl you thought you were. Luckily for you, you still had the old Google Doc full of sources you wanted to save for later. Thank you, freshman you. 

Third and fourth block went by relatively quickly, you completely finished the work in both classes with plenty of time left for you to continue typing up the essays. You had gotten Adrian’s completely done and Annie’s thesis written. Oh, revenge is sweet. You weren’t even done with what you had in store for them. 

You had their parent’s phone numbers and you got Adrian’s boss’ number from Marlene, who worked with him as a waitress. Annie’s parents were total sweethearts that would be absolutely fuming if you showed them what she said to you. You weren’t sure about Adrian’s or Sammy’s parents, but you were going to send them screenshots anyways. If Adrian’s parents were as bigoted as he was, you still had his boss to fall back on. You could email the screenshots to the principal and the athletic director so that you could have something to rely on if Sammy’s parents had the same beliefs as she did. She valued cross country more than everything, so you could fuck that up for her. Revenge never tasted so sweet to you before, it felt like you were high with how giddy you were. Techno and Wilbur were going to love this. 

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[samstree]

Hi Jin, 39. Lingering glances and soft expression only brought out by crush for the pining prompts?

Thanks for the prompt my dear! <3<3

How about a delirious Geralt who's only soft when he sees Jaskier! ;)

(geraskier, hurt/comfort, injuries, Geralt is high and Lambert is confused, 1.4k, pre-relationship)

Read on ao3

---

“I can’t deal with Geralt like this,” Lambert growls before he slams the bedroom door shut, all the while balancing the bowl of stew in his hand. “Let him starve. Maybe he’ll learn to behave.”

Jaskier’s pacing comes to a dead stop.

“What? You can’t just leave him! He was stranded in that cave for days. He needs the food!” the bard chews on his lower lip again, the skin there already burning from days of worry. “Look, Lambert, I appreciate you appearing out of nowhere to get him out. I really do. But can’t you just try harder? Please?”

The younger witcher lets out a grunt that sounds too similar to his wolf brother. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Look, bard. It’s not that I don’t want to.” The irritation in Lambert’s voice is palpable, but Jaskier can tell the hidden concern under all the gruffness. When it comes down to it, the rest of them are not that hard to read. “The scorpion’s venom is making him hallucinate. It’s putting him in a dreamlike state, because that’s how the creature keeps its victims subdued long enough to feed on them.”

“More the reason we shouldn’t leave him—”

“He is high as a kite and can’t even recognize me. He’s not himself!” Lambert sighs. “And he won’t stop… pawing at me.”

Jaskier stares at him incredulously, resting his hands on his hips.

“And what? You’re scared because your brother keeps touching you?” the bard huffs. “I’ll do it then!”

“Not just that,” Lambert snarls. “Geralt may be living some ridiculous dream in his head, but he’s still strong as fuck. Urgh, don’t ever tell him this, but he tried to tackle me just now and almost broke my arm. He certainly would have if it weren’t for his injury.”

Behind the thin wall, Jaskier can still hear Geralt murmuring incoherent nonsense. Perhaps he would have been able to deal with the worry that’s been churning in his stomach for days, if it weren’t for the next hoarse cry that penetrates the door and pierces right through his heart.

“…Where is he? Where…" Geralt slurs loudly, his voice sounding so lost, so lonely all of a sudden.

“That’s it. I’m going in.” Jaskier charges into the room, passing a Lambert who’s too slow to stop him because of the stew he’s holding.

At the back of his mind, he still registers the colorful curses the younger witcher lets out, but all he can focus on once he pushes open the door is Geralt. He’s sitting against the headboard in a position that can’t be comfortable. His shirt is nowhere to be found. The only thing that covers his torso is the bandage that roughly wraps around his shoulder, with specks of blood seeping out.

Oh, and his eyes. Honey gold keeps searching blindly but somehow is dimming by the moment. He looks as if he’s lost something important. Jaskier’s heart twists and he can’t help but reach for Geralt when those golden eyes fall on him. Those furrowed brows relax, just a smidge.

“Hey, it’s alright.” The bard’s palm falls on Geralt’s bicep, feeling the heat of his clammy skin. A relieved sigh heaves out of the witcher’s chest. “You are safe now, Geralt. Lambert got you out.”

Jaskier continues to brush back the stray hair at Geralt’s temple, tucking it away. Maybe his own distress is letting him see things that aren’t there, but he swears Geralt is leaning into his touch, even nuzzling his palm a little.

Oh, he’s so out of it.

“You don’t need to be scared anymore.” Jaskier puts as much reassurance in his voice as possible, although he’s not sure who he’s trying to convince. He takes Geralt’s wrist when Lambert calls out.

“No, bard! He’ll snap you like a—”

But Geralt only catches his hand gently, threading their fingers together. The witcher looks down at their interlocked hands and frowns, like his mind can’t process the image.

“Jaskier?” he whispers carefully before looking up at the bard, his eyes focusing with clarity for the first time.

“Yes, I’m here,” Jaskier chuckles tightly. “There you are, finally.”

“Am I dreaming?”

“No, this is as real as it gets.”

At those words, Geralt immediately springs up to wrap his arms around the bard, but it’s clear that he’s reining in the raw strength in his body, making the embrace tight but not crushing. Jaskier gasps in surprise but can only return the hug in equal measure.

It’s not that Geralt never shows affection, but it’s usually a lot less… direct like this. Or physical, like this. Although, the pawing is nice, especially when the pent-up worry in Jaskier’s chest is on the verge of breaking like a dam.

“You are okay. You are okay…” Geralt murmurs into Jaskier’s ear, clinging tightly to keep him close. “I couldn’t find you for so long. Jask, where did you go…”

“Oh.” It must be the dream that’s making the witcher behave out of the ordinary. The bard lets out a sigh, whether in relief or disappointment he can’t really tell. “I’m here now, don’t you worry, my dear. Although I do need you to do something for me.”

“Anything.”

Geralt pulls back to meet his gaze in earnest, his expression unbearably soft. Jaskier’s breath hitches. He’ll never see the same look again once Geralt gets down from the high, the bard laments silently.

“I need you to eat something. You haven’t had any food in days,” Jaskier explains patiently. “I can even help you, okay?”

Receiving a small nod from Geralt, the bard looks to Lambert, who’s leaning against the door frame with an exasperated look on his face. He shakes his head but complies with the silent request and retrieves the food.

All the while, Geralt is still fixing his eyes on Jaskier’s every movement as the bard arranges the pillows behind his back and helps him lean on them more comfortably.

“So he canbe nice,” Lambert snorts, shoving the bowl into Jaskier’s hands.

“The charms of not looking angry all the time. You should try it, Lambert.” Jaskier thanks him and begins helping Geralt down the stew. The witcher is still weak from the ordeal, so he has to also steady the bowl while Geralt scoops up the chunks of meat.

When Geralt is finished, Jaskier can’t help but flash out a grin, feeling quite proud of himself. Just when he gets up, a hand comes up to grab him urgently.

“Will you be gone again?” the witcher sounds haunted, his eyes glistening like a sad puppy.

“No, of course not. I promise.” Jaskier can only set down the now-empty bowl on the nightstand. Honey eyes still trail after his hands, and travel up to his face. “I know it’s hard to believe what you’re seeing. Your mind must feel like a mess right now,” he coos. “Maybe it’ll be better if you take a nap.”

“But you—”

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” A smile tugs at the corners of Jaskier’s lips as the witcher grins lazily in return. He untangles Geralt’s long hair as he shifts down on the bed, so it’s more comfortable when his head is pillowed nicely. The pad of his thumb brushes across Geralt’s forehead, tracing the shape of an eyebrow repeatedly.

Soft honey eyes flutter heavily, but still struggling to linger with a stubbornness that is typically Geralt.

“I’ll be here,” he whispers again.

Finally, the witcher drifts off under his ministration. When Jaskier turns to look at Lambert, the younger witcher is watching him intently, instead of his injured brother. Golden eyes that are more piercing than the bard is used to these days are fixed on him curiously, studying him like a puzzle.

“What?” Jaskier asks, confused at the attention.

But Lambert only shrugs, opens his mouth, and closes it. The sound of Geralt’s even breathing fills the silence.

“You—" Lambert finally says quietly. “He never… Urgh, never mind.” The other witcher waves his hand dismissively and turns to leave.

This one is even more confusing, Jaskier thinks as he ignores Lambert’s unsaid words, and returns to his vigil.

Somehow, with some occasional touches and murmured words, Geralt doesn’t seem to have any more distressing dreams in his slumber.