#i know what the stickbug meme is

[stickfigureobsessions]

im so lost what is going on

i havent uploaded in a while what in the stickfigure possessed you to do this

[jasper-the-menace]

Hey, since you're interested in scorpion biology, I thought you'd be interested in the idea of... intersex Chima scorpions! Well, sort of.

There's a specific character that's been bugging me a bit. Scutter is kind of the scorpion equivalent of a centaur; he has two torsos, one anthropomorphic, and another of the scorpion body. With scorpion anatomy in mind, it's easy to reach the conclusion that Scutter's reproductive organ would be heavily altered because of his body, making him intersex to a certain extent.

I hope this makes sense. I'm trying to look for possible trans rep in Chima characters (like in this example). What do you think of this idea?

Oh friend, you don't know the essay you just inspired.

You Opened This Can Of Worms, Now Lie In It

Some important bulletpoints before I get going, just to get all of my followers on the same page:

Disclaimer: I am a transgender nonbinary perisex individual. This means I am not intersexed (to my knowledge), I don't identify with the gender I was assigned at birth, and I don't identify as male or female. The closest thing to describing my gender is literally "no".

I am a strong advocate for making as many characters transgender as possible, regardless of "realism". That's why, in my own writing, half of the Scorpions are retroactively transgender (though they don't understand gender on the whole and most of them would probably be nonbinary if someone took fifteen minutes to explain gender, variable social constructs, and the concept of genitalia tying to gender roles) and also Razar is too on account of I said so.

Being intersexed does not inherently mean being transgender. There is a lot of discussion and individual choice between intersexed people about whether or not they're part of the queer community. It's a very individual thing, and I am not part of those discussions on account of not being intersex myself.

When it comes to humans and other beings with a level of sentience and sapience, the term "hermaphrodite" and its derivates are considered slurs. When talking about animals, hermaphrodite and its derivates are scientific terms. So in something like the Legends of Chima series and other humanoid-animal media, the proper term is "intersexed". (I noticed you used the term "intersex" in your ask, and I appreciate it!)

I know too much about scorpion mating and birth.

We're talking way too much about genitalia and gender tonight in regards to fictional characters.

I am genuinely delighted that you decided to drop in here to discuss this, because boy howdy do I have a lot of thoughts about transgender headcanons/representation and scorpions specifically! Scorpions are just. So damn cool.

Note for my fellow arachnophobes: There are no images attached to this post, but it's really easy to find videos of scorpions doing various things on YouTube, which is actually how I've been studying them.

Scorpion Sex, Mating, and Genitalia

Scorpions of both "genders" have genital opercula (singular: genital operculum), and their asses run up into their tails. In order to mate, they don't just do like horses. No no, buddy, they have a really weird, specific method!

In order to start wooing his potential mate, the male scorpion will lock chelae (pincers) with the female scorpion, and they will start to "dance". The male scorpion will drop a sperm packet onto the ground and lead the female scorpion over it. If the female scorpion is down, she'll basically squat and absorb the sperm packet into her body, which is then followed by a "mating plug" to keep it in while it does the fertilization thing.

(It's important to note that the courting process also contains "juddering", aka the male scorpion doing the dance that the stickbug meme did, and may also contain clerchical "kisses". Honestly, pretty romantic for an arachnid. And possibly tail-rubbing and sexual stinging. Scorpions are very kinky!)

(It's also important to note that some species of scorpions have been reported, though not reliably, to reproduce through parthogenesis.)

Post-coitus cannibalism has not been scientifically seen in scorpions, so the male scorpion is generally safe as long as he scadoodles.

Gestation in some scorpion species can last over a year, and different species can have anywhere from 2 to 100 little scorplings - the physical size of the scorpion is not necessarily tied to how many babies they'll have.

Also, scorpions give live birth!

The baby scorpion is essentially folded like a Fedex package and launched out of the womb. It will then unfold and climb on top of the mother to make way for its next sibling. These will hang onto the mother until their first molt, which happens as a group and launches them into the juvenile stage. After this, they will still stay with their mothers until their carapace finishes hardening and gaining color, at which point they hunt prey on their own and will wander off on their own terms.

Hey, Jasper, That's Pretty Fucked Up, But How Does This Tie Into Chima?

I'm getting there, hold your centaur scorpions!

This is where we get into the worldbuilding of the Legends of Chima series, the Character Encyclopedia, and our poor boy Scutter.

See, the Legends of Chima as a series is very much a product of its time. There is some rife ableism and questionable word choices in regards to the Crawlers (and Sir Fangar, but this isn't about him). According to the Character Encyclopedia, Scutter is "less evolved". There's a looong history of racism in using phrases like "evolution" in regards to other humans, so taking that and applying it to an animal world leaves us with some very strange dissonance, because it's used in Chima to mean animals turned into a more humanoid form by the Chi.

Because really, what is the Chi? It's a magical substance that, depending on how you read it, could be the animist spirit of the land (I say, as an animist myself), or it could be drugs. Or it could be any number of other things! I know one person who writes Chi as the blood of dead gods, which is metal as fuck!

Ultimately, it depends on how one is writing the Chi that makes the usage of phrases like "less evolved" more or less questionable than it was intended. We're all dragging around the corpse of a Lego theme across our writing desks anyway. And the way I go about answering the question of "what is Chi" is definitely different from others. (Again, see the dead god blood part.)

The question of whether or not the Scorpion Tribe, namely Scutter, would count as intersexed relies on 1) defining intersexuality in regards to genitalia arrangement (scorpions don't have penises and vaginas by default; and the Wikipedia article on scorpions just uses "genital orfice" or "genital opercula"); 2) determining if the Chi has magically changed how genitalia works for Scorpions (admittedly, I do this because I didn't want to have to use the term "genital opercula" over and over); 3) determining the humanization extent of the Scorpion Tribe as you write them (I lean more towards human than you do, just from what I've seen of your work); and 4) deciding if such terminology even exists in Chima.

But looking at Scutter and going with the assumption that the back end is fully scorpion... No, I wouldn't count him as intersex by default. Intersex implies landing between the two human biological extremes (which, as we all know, is not as cut-and-dry as high school biology taught us), when really he's kind of a secret third thing (a Scorpion who probably doesn't have either a penis or a vagina).

(Of course, there's also what you said, paraphrased to my own wording: the Chi may have just decided to fuck up this poor man's genital situation and do a half-ass job.)

That's not to say he can't be trans. I mean, I made Scorm and about half of the Scorpion Tribe trans already. That's also not to say they're not all trans by default, considering scorpions without the ability to think wouldn't have the concepts of genders anyway.

Okay Jasper, So How Do You Write Him?

So, here's the thing. I'm aromantic-asexual, and I also write smut and, to a lesser extent, romance, which means I think about fictional character genitalia too much. But thinking about Scutter has left me utterly baffled.

On one hand, I usually write the Chi as a magical animist force of the land of Chima on the whole, and part of that is that the Chi tries to get everyone on the same playing field, physically speaking, which is how we get retroactive transgender man Scorm in my Tales of Chima series.

On the other hand, look at him. Look at him. He's a centaur arachnid. I know he can pass the Harkness Test, but I still feel weird thinking about his genitalia. If I go with my theory of the Chi giving everyone penises and vaginas at random, then I don't want to think about how much that would get in the way for the poor boy! On the other hand, his lower body is still mostly scorpion instead of, well, Scorpion, so who's to say he doesn't have a genital operculum?

Too Long, Don't Want Details About Scorpion Sex

Alright, spoilsport. Here's your TLDR:

It genuinely depends on what the Chi does in your version of the story and how bad it fucks up. It depends on how dedicated you are to scientific accuracy. It depends on how much you want to think about scorpion genitals.

And being intersex is not necessarily trans rep, unless it is, unless it isn't. I'm not intersexed, so I'm not going to say what that falls on myself. There is an intersex pride flag that was created by Morgan Carpenter in 2013.

Trans characters can exist outside of being intersexed, you don't have to conflate the two in order to have transgender representation. Just hit the characters with the Transgenderinator 5000 Beam. Fuck realism, this is a series about walking talking animal people. Who's going to stop you? The fun police? Transphobes? Eat them.

Further Reading

Start at Wikipedia and go from there through its sources for anything of particular interest:

Intersex flag (in case you're curious about it and its history, which can also launch you into further reading about humans being intersex)

Scorpion (morphology section)

Scorpion (mating subsection)

Scorpion (birth and development subsection)

So, uh, yeah! Thanks for coming to me with these questions, it's really touching that you value my thoughts this much, and I love talking about my boys and scorpions and the complicated web! I apologize for any errors or too-crass sections, because I wrote most of this in one sitting after playing wayyy too much Skyrim today.

~Jasper

[lensman-arms-race]

Pspspsssppsspss

Hi, sorry to bother you but do you have or know any headcanons of what sounds or noises the Alliance members make? I know purring and static sounds are the most known ones but I'd like to know if there's more to expand my horizons for reference 👀

Cameras are probably completely silent. I like to headcanon them as angrily clicking their shutters, but I'm not sure if video cameras have those? I think it's only stills cameras that have them.

In episode 63 we see one of the Salmon Shirts 'laughing' (at Plunk riding their toilet chariot). We don't hear anything, but I think that when cameras do that you can hear their servos quietly revving, in a sound somewhat imitating laughter. POV cam just wasn't close enough to pick up the sound.

I've mentioned before that speakers and microphones are the same thing specialised in different directions (not a headcanon; this is literally true). This would explain why the possessed cameras could join in the 'skibidi skibidi skibidi' chant - they were sounding it out through their microphones (unless that was simply the parasites singing). It's possible that some cameras have learned how to do this for themselves and can make quiet and tinny sounds with their mics.

Some surveillance cameras have speakers for playing warning messages at anyone who might be in the area (or through which a security guard in the control room can talk directly). In another post I mentioned that cameras might sometimes have to settle for using old human-made head-casings when they don't have enough of their own in stock. Perhaps some cameras end up with one of these casings with speakers and have fun startling other hardwares by barking the 'move along, this is a restricted area' messages.

Speakers can obviously replay any sound they've got stored. I'd like to think they can 'talk' like a soundboard, by cutting up lyrics and other samples and sticking them together in a sentence. I think they can't synthesise new sounds from scratch, except basic buzzing/humming sounds (like Titan Speaker did in episode 64 to get Titan Camera's attention) but they have some control over the pitch and tempo of the sounds they play.

TVs can actually synthesise their own speech, as we know, but they seem limited to talking in a monotone like an old text-to-speech program. I headcanon them as being able to also make sounds like buzzing, crackling and clicking. (In my fanfics I also gave them the ability to 'reverse' their speech so it sounds the right way around to the human reader-insert character.)

As TVs can play pretty much any sound as long as it's coming from a broadcast or other video, it's possible they could do something similar to the speakers by cutting up video clips to make a sentence with the emphasis and pitch they preferred (instead of using the text-to-speech deep monotone). The TVs can get quite memelord-y, so I'd like to think they do stuff like playing the 'get stickbugged idiot' meme clip. TVs and speakers could bond by working together to rickroll someone.

(No need to say 'sorry to bother you' - we're on social media! Interaction is the point! 🩶 I have asks on for this reason.)

[dreamsy990]

who do u think is most likely to randomly quote memes in the ven/sora/roxas household. my money is on roxas. sora seems like he wouldn't know memes unless roxas shows them to him but is also the kinda guy to try and rickroll anyone at any given chance bc he finds it funny. ventus is a connoisseur of animal memes. to me

dont have my drawing stuff out rn so no doodles for this but yeah i agree with most of what you said. so heres my headcanons

sora is horrible with electronics he barely knows what an internet is. he doesnt know what the word meme means and nobody will explain it to him. i think he saw a 'get stickbugged' meme once and sends it to his friends like "LOOK AT THIS CUTE BUG!!!!!!!!!!!" and really likes those shiba memes because he is a little guy

roxas DOES know how to use the internet unlike sora. presumably. hes probably the most 'in touch' of the group but thats not saying much. i think he has no social media accounts whatsoever. maybe he doesnt know how to make an email maybe he just doesnt care but whatever it is he is simply observing. i forget what the word is my brain went to ghosting but i am very much thinking of a mother mother song. i think roxas would quote vines. they pass a road work sign and he says 'yeah i sure hope it does' and everyone turns to stare at him in confusion except xion (she is laughing because roxas showed it to her) lea (he is very proud because he is the one who taught roxas how to use vine) isa (he gets the reference and is disappointed in lea for what he has started) and ven (who laughs even though he doesnt get the reference either because he thinks it is funny or he wants to be included). i think he mostly uses his phone for music.

and youre so right about ventus. ventus watches funny cat videos. he spams group chats with cat pictures. he loves animals and will tell you all about this really cool dog picture he saw the other day. he is either a joy to have in group chats or the worst depending on how much you like animal pictures. he only gets memes a little bit because like sora he is very new to the internet but unlike sora he is putting a lot more effort into trying to learn. he and roxas are the only two who know what a rickroll are

[thehealingplum]

Getting tagged in stuff is like. It makes me feel so loved. Because you saw something and thought of me. And so you shared it with me. I adore that so much. Thank you

[team-heavenly]

A Comprehensive List of Potential Chapter Titles Provided by Me

Thought up at 11 PM. For funsies. This list will be much safer in terms of thematic material (refer to this post and this post). Rated T for swearing, references to (mild) drugs, alcohol.

Are the vast majority of these memes and references? Yes, yes they are. (Bonus points if you can identify where they come from!) But it’s less about creativity than comedic value. So... take this as you will.

There is no official total btw, I’m just listing as many as I can!

Y yo a ti

Do not pass GO, do not collect $200

I won't hesitate, Bitch

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU FUCKERS HAVE COME TO A STANDSTILL AT FOGBOUND LAKE

i Amn just....... a little creachure

None pizza with left beef

lol Get stickbugged

Is this Loss?

Goddammit where's Lucky Luciano?

It's the Great Pumpkin!

Snoopy and the Red Baron

Luke, I am your father

Make it so

Flim-flam shabam

What is love?

Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more

HEY NOW, HEEEEY NOW

How can a river catch on fire 12 goddamn times?

*Pink panther theme*

Let's-a go!

LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO!

Let's GO GAMERS!

Why are you like this

Honey You Got A Big Storm Coming

I'm THE KING OF THE WORLD!!

you and what army?

Let's see how far we've come

Have some choccy milk

No, this is Patrick

Carmen Sandiego?

NOOOO MY COOKIE!

To die. To sleep, no more.

What an absolute mad-lad

Looks like you're going to the Shadow Realm, Jimbo

MY EYES!!

mY LEG! MY LEGGGG!

*Roblox death sound*

*Lego Star Wars Death sound*

*Wilhelm Scream*

Some-

-BODY ONCE TOLD ME-

You wanna be sleeping with the fishes, kid?

The U.S.S. Enterprise

Never mind that

And to your left you can see me, ruining everything

If you forgot, then it wasn't important

Calvin and Hobbes

Elmo and friends

Marty! Marty, we have to go back!

I challenge you to a duel!

Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!

It's you and meeee. I know it's my destiny!

Team Rocket is blasting off againnnn!

Ha! You better have burn heal!

I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

The Top Percentage of Rattata

Take the breadsticks and run

November 5: Destiel Election edition

The 21st Night of September

bRING OUT THE CRABS!

It's over Grovyle, I have the high ground!

69? Nice

Let's have a champion time! *gets pummeled to death*

Falling from cloud 9

The River Styx

Nooo, don't steal the Time Gears, you're so sexy aha

mrow? Mrrrp?

Corphish, those pincers are HUGE

Yeah can I get uhhhh-

White Mocha latte frapiatto espresso triple shot

Good tea. Nice house.

It's Pon Farr night at the Vulcan Nightclub

YOUNG MAN. THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN

Back at it again at the Krispy Kreme

Look at this photograph

Cuz Everytime We Touch, I get this feeling

*Cinemasins ding*

I was there, Gandalf...

Do Not Cite the Deep Magic to me Witch

WELCOME TO MOE’SSSS!

Hey this isn't a leaf stone

Are you high?

What in tarnation-

Been up since 2 am

When in Rome...

Do you know what you've just done?

Where's Waldo?

Allergic to sunlight

The imposter......

The Great Glacier

Sky Tower

The Voidlands

Once upon a dream

Holy shit that's so many deer-

LOCUUUUSTS!!

It started to rain!

You! What year is it

*Lightsaber noise*

*Darth Vader breathing noises*

The Riker Maneuver

Now close your eyes...

For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer

What's 8 ÷ 4 + (7 - 2)?

Country roaaaads

Take me home, to the place I belong

WEST VIRGINIAAAAA!

Welcome to the 74th annual Hunger Games!

My name is Jared, 19

YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

Miracle whip

Alcremie

Pecan soup

Operation Yellow

"Do you remember?" "REMEMBER WHAT?!"

I hope you die. I hope we both die.

Hand in unlovable hand

Annnnd there she goes

Now go see a Star War

Cat no banana

Leg-bouncer

42

Are you fucking possessed?!

Japan is a small island nation with limited natural resources

Crazy frog

Episode IV: A New Hope

hsSSSSSS-

Dat you?

Surf's up, dude!

NFTs crashed lol

Shhhh! Quiet! We're in a library

I Will Never Again Be Human (And That's Okay)

Hi my name is Hero and I'm an alcoholic

Pull the lever, Kronk!

WRONG LEVERRR!

Oh, yeah. It's all coming together.

The Macy's Day parade

*Calls Dusknoir babygirl*

Dig it in there, Mr. Spock-

There's coffee in that nebula

ACAB

Save the bees, plant more trees

Pokerus? Haven't heard of her

The Secret to End All Secrets

Fucking hell, dude

IT'S FUCKEN WIMDY!!

Tell me what you want, what you really really want

Level 7

World 5-8

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Arson

I have a Bad Feeling about this

Trust no one, not even yourself

And I'm all out of gum

Shall we dance?

Can't have shit in Apple Woods

Gengar hates u

Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, and Rose

Let me call an Uber

Warp core breach in 3 minutes

‘Tis but a scratch!

A scratch? Your arm’s off!

The government owes me money

Crying and screaming and throwing up

Comrades!

Take a shot every time someone says "the planet's paralysis"

The Three Sacred Treasures

Lake Bikal

In Soviet Russia-

Capitalism

Communism

Adele's "Hello"

Spyro: Year of the Dragon

Another soulless Marvel film

I Have No Memory (of this place)

The Return of the King

Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope so

Four Score and Seven Years ago

Y E E T

Sacrificing your rival to the rain gods

Bede is a lil' bitch

BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU-

you're an idiot <3

Bitch u thought

no <3

Top Ten Greatest Hits

Just keep swimming

HERE'SSSSS BRUCYYYY

Are we.... You know.....

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

AGH!

XXXXXX

y = mx + b

Pangea

The sacred texts!!

smh

Under the sea

The GAY CAR!!

Father, I Crave Violence

*coughs*

WATCHOO!

Gesundheit

Pass me the aux

Guzma and the real Team Skull

*dies*

Facing God and Walking Backwards into Hell

Sitting on a throne of lies

Aren't you a wiseguy!

The Future Trio is GAAAAAY!!

Drop the Mic!

Wherefore art thou Dusknoir?

TFW Decoy Orb gets reflected onto you

Blorbo from my shows

Dugtrio's a terrible dad

Developing PTSD

You know! For kids!

This is so sad, Chatot play Despacito

Unown J

Bro I just Live Here

CITIZENS ARREST! CITIZENS ARREST!

Throwing Gravelerocks in glass houses

It is..... Green

Wonder Gummis galore!

For every Roselia, there is an Iron Thorn

Ingo?!

Garlic. Butter, even.

Space. The Final Frontier.

IT BURNSSSS

Not in front of the Klingons

*points at Dusknoir* GAY

Qwerty

uwu

Apocalypse Now

Lemon-lime soda

The Dimensional Scream Strikes Again

It's Drifloon Friday!

Apricorn Balls

War is War and Hell is Hell

Out of Touch Thursday

Jesse. Jesse we have to-

Mecha Tyranitar

You Get Framed in a Witch Hunt

The Gang Goes to Therapy

Freudian slip

Occam's razor

Murphy's Law

Do Androids dream of electric Mareep?

Sleep deprivation

Well... Wynaut?

The Deplorable Word

Turkish Delight

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

Ah Shit, Here We Go Again

Into the Woods (2015)

Zero Isle West, 72F

The wildest Crossover AU

Lemonade IS NOT SPRITE, DAMMIT!

ROYGBIV

ERROR 404

Volo Breaks the Dimensions (because he can)

Q

Remember to take your meds

Hydrate or diedrate

Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U

Leroy Jenkinsssss

Fuck this, I'm outta here

We don't get paid enough for this

SHOOP DA WHOOP!!

Fuck it, Nyan Cat in 2020

I’MMA FIRING MY LAZOR!

Au revoir!

Spinda's cafe gets robbed

Boop! Got your nose!

Time Gears? In my possession?

Fire types rule, water types drool

Let's take ibuprofen together

Gouger

This is Not a Place of Honor

Arceus yeets you into Hisui

These Ginsengs don’t do shit

I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN OF THE SAND

Texas

Florida man

Jake, from State Farm

Never Eat Soggy Waffles

Can we be honest?

Oops! I did it again

Kilograms of glitter

Lil Nas X

Getting Friendzoned

LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG?!

7-11

And there is no Queen of England

Make sure to like and subscribe!

The Down with Cis bus

*ploink*

It’s puce

Am I alive or barely breathing?

Just so you know...

Primal Dialga tramples you to death

*Minecraft villager noise*

The Llevan Polka

Futurama

I’d have two nickels

Salt n’ Vinegar

*distant screaming*

Everybody dance now!

E = Mc^2

Spooky scary skellingtons

But y tho?

Fist bump!

The Hindenberg

Did you know? A Wailord is less dense than air!

I am a Gummy Bear

...To be continued...

Go Imagine those Dragons

Don’t forget to floss!

Just take the L, dude

Trans your gender

Uhhhhh...

Shoving your sins under the rug

Going to Purgatory

Lemme think about it- NO

The One With the Whales

Fallout: New Vegas

Annnnd that’s all, folks.

[crypticcodexcreations]

*slams the ask button* 11 through 15 for William. 8) 8)

Hehehe, you always pick the really fun questions!

11. What would their DnD class and/or race be? - William would be an Artificer, I'm sure! As for race, I can't help but see him as being a human still.

12. If they were an animal crossing villager, what animal and/or personality type would they be? - Rabbit. Rabbit for sure, but the personality took me a bit to think about. In the end, I think Smug is the most fitting personality type for him, but more from process of elimination with the others not fitting than anything.

13. If they were a Pokémon gym leader, what would their type be? What’s their team? - Ghost types for sure! I think his team would end up being a Banette, Dusknoir, Froslass, Trevenant, Mimikyu, and Cofagrigus. A part of me is tempted to use Pokemon Showdown and pick moves and such for his whole team, buuuuuut. Maybe later.

14. What social media would they spend the most time on? - William would rather die than go on social media to be completely honest. If he were going to be on anything, it would probably be Tumblr, to be honest. Everyone on this site is so damn weird it'd make him feel normal lol.

15. How easily would it be to rickroll/stickbug them? - You would get him every time. He doesn't know enough about memes because he doesn't spend a lot of time on the internet, and he will NOT think about it the next time unless you tried to get him multiple times in one day. That's the only way he'd avoid it.

[inthememetime]

The Company (+Gandalf, Dís, & Tauriel)- Do they have a Tumblr in a modern AU which I'll probably never write?

Dwalin- Like this? *holds out a tumbler style cup*

Balin- Yes, and he uses it to shitpost constantly. 'Your teeth are always wet.' 'On average, the number of human skeletons in a human body is more than 1.'- style posts. No one in his friend group knows, but some suspect since he's suspiciously up to date on memes.

Thorin- Yes, but he's only on like twice a week. A friend of his suggested he posts some of the tattoos he does, and he likes the validation. He also does watercolors for commissions. He was confused about why some of his regulars told him they were 'looking respectfully' until he was tagged in one of Bilbo’s livestreams where he came downstairs in nothing but a pair of boxers with mistletoe on the front. Somehow he always forgets what night Bilbo streams on despite the fact it's posted on their fridge.

Glóin- No, but I think Dwalin has one you can use. Oh. Is it that thing my lad Gimli is always on? You know, my son landed 1st place last week in his- wait. Where are you going??

Oín- The what now? How do you get on a mug? Like a painting thing? I think Thorin does those if you want one.

Dori- Yes, he's on a few times a week. He's very active in the embroidery and needlepoint circles. He doesn't have a lot of followers, but he's ok with that.

Nori- He's more of a Reddit guy. But sometimes he gets on and spams the porn bots with requests for free toasters or tacos for funsies. He also teaches people how to legally get away with breaking and entering, theft, and similar crimes as long as they promise to only use it on rich assholes.

Ori- Yes, he has 2 Tumblrs. One that's active in needlepoint, crochet, and calligraphy that Dori knows about, and the other is a fanart blog. His Zukka, Johnlock, and Destiel work gets a lot of reblogs. Hates Post+ with a passion.

Bifur- He likes plants, so he started looking them up and posting them online. Eventually, somebody on Reddit told him he should get a Tumblr and now he's known as the plant guy. He's very active, and talks about his disability sometimes which lost him a few followers but gained him a lot more. He's actually made a side gig out of it through Ko-Fi.

Bofur- Yes, and now it's a legitimate business model for him? He still can't figure out how that happened. All he did was post pictures and videos of his handmade toys, link his Etsy and tell people he did commissions, and he's actually had to hire people now to keep up with the workload. 90% of it is the toys. The other 10% is the internet swooning over the super nice goofball who has to stop streaming to shout 'kitty!' every time his cat walks in and forgets to edit it out.

Bombur- Not really. He has a Tumblr, sure, but he hasn't used it since 2015.

Fíli- Yes because he can talk to people about swords and knives and axes and not be considered weird. He's known as the Weapons Discourse Guy, don't tag him in anything else. Unless it has explosions. Yes he's seen the video of his uncle in nothing but the world's tiniest mistletoe boxers, please stop tagging him in it.

Kíli- He has the blog his brother, mother, and uncle all know about- the one where he talks about hunting, archery, prehistoric animals, and dream vacations. He has his main blog, which is full of writing prompts, fanfic he's writing, and an insane amount of reblogged fanart for Reasons.

Bilbo- He finally got on Tumblr to see what the lads were on about, and posts a lot of baking videos. He runs a sweet shop and he's found lots of people enjoy watching him make candies, cupcakes, and pies. He also accidentally made Thorin a little more popular because he lives above the shop and sometimes Thorin comes downstairs shirtless while he's filming. His views always spike when there's the Baking Trifecta- complicated candies, shirtless Thorin, and Thorin talking to him from the side. His viewers like Thorin's voice; Bilbo doesn't blame them.

Bonus:

Tauriel's blog is NSFW, but not for the reason you might think. She's a Forensic Pathology major, and some of the research papers and pics she reblogs are disturbing to say the least. Despite using (some would say over-using) trigger tags, she still gets a lot of anon hate. Despite that, there are a lot of people who actually like her blog, because they get to find a lot about what happens when they die and find it comforting. She's also exposed a lot of racism and classism in the death industry, and now she writes books on it.

Dís: Everyone thinks she doesn't, but she does. She's not very active, but takes the time to send Thorin pictures of stickbugs (he hates them) because any opportunity to troll him is one she'll take.

Gandalf: He doesn't know how he got onto this hellsite, but he's blaming Pippin. Pippin was maybe 3 at the time, but he'll still blame the kid. But now that he's here, he might as well devote some time to raising absolute HELL on TERFs, Karens and pedos.

[kittydemon9000]

Because I have ZERO self control, here’s Smith But In Sharkdroid Form Before Any Upgrades :DDDD

As you can see, it is a Shark Tank Thing, however it’s unfinished. Smith ended up taking it over before it was finished, hence the unfinished paint job and lack of weapons. The eye was a result of his escape, and he doesn’t have anyone to fix it.

For the legs: The top most segment(the “shoulder”) can only move back and forth on the track as well as the slightest bit out, however where its connect to the middle part can rotate at a full 360 degrees. The third and final segment can also only move up and down.

The top bit with the fin is actually a glass dome with all the controls and such, however where the defense mode comes in is that the mech will crouch down and the dome will lower itself. Then a thick metal dome will clamp over, protecting the pilot. Also, the metal of the mech is stronger than steel and is stupid hard to break. If you can even dent it, that’d be an accomplishment.

Garmadon’s scientist would’ve added more to it, like weapons systems and more structure to the legs, however they weren’t accounting for someone to take over the mech

Now, unfortunately the controls in the mech override what Smith does. Fortunately, once they do start upgrading him that’s the first thing they remove.

Also, I just now realized that he can do the Stickbug Meme, so now I know what my next project is

[eldritch-elrics]

memes of 2020

so for the last couple years i’ve been keeping very casual lists every year of the most prominent memes - or, more precisely, whatever memes happen to make their way into my sphere of the internet. here is my list for 2020!

do x or take 25

world war 3

yanderedev discord server ban speedrunning

bernie “i am once again asking for x”

iowa caucus results

a man has fallen into the river in lego city

froggie chair

“do you fart” fish

penis music

animal crossing and doom eternal

disney’s first gay character

person in lab coat with test tube: finally / x

caramelldansen resurgence

babe! it’s 4pm, time for your dick flattening! / yes honey

coronavirus handwashing

biden burying a dog

characters explaining pickle rick

nice cock

hehe x go brrrrr

are ya winning son

music make you lose control / dancing triangle

when the x is y idk i never played the game

choose your quarantine house

gossip girl

the man behind the slaughter

x is returning to nature. we are the virus

facebook group where we all pretend to be ants

redrawing album covers with kk slider

coffin dance

raymond drama

how tf am i an essential worker

random chimp event

me? gongaga

x æ a-12

knuckles meme approved

brazilian football n64 intro

you do not deserve to have raymond on your island

women want me fish fear me

say so by doja cat

i hope this email finds you

trump coin

i heart hole

wait it’s all x? always has been

500 dollar mareep

big book smaller book

femboy hooters

i want to hurt you

straight ship for straight people, gay ship for straight people, etc

x be like “i know a place”

hannibal speech

hello jon apologies for the deception

microwaving ants

you’re crying from x? you’re seriously crying from x?

big buff dog and small dog

cutting up characters and they’re actually realistic cakes

deepfake singing videos (usually of baka mitai)

comic: is that your fucking fursona? that’s cringe

get stickbugged lol

thank goodness, you’re awake! x? y? z? what are you talking about?

pokemon master sex

you’re laughing. i asked x and you’re laughing.

your mother fucking life ends thirty minutes from now

good afternoon girl i’m in the water / girl help

mp100 is leftist propaganda

destruction caused by gender reveal parties

who’s watching? person who pays for the account, girlfriend free pass, parasites

jfk from clone high

my day be so fine, then boom

nothing bad ever happens to the kennedys

good morning to people who x, people who y, people who z,

petting gif maker

da vinky

fall guys anatomy

snapchat anime filter

WHAT… your Trans Gener…….

smack barm pey wet

cheesed to meet you

one bad gloop

hey shitass wanna see me speedrun

i wish all x a very pleasant evening

raybans sunglasses sale

he was forced to eat cement when he was 6

enrichment in enclosure

election memes

destiel canon

castiel went to super hell for being gay

finding out putin resigned because destiel canon

the entirety of nov 5

supernatural resurgence

bingus

so you’re non biney?

four seasons total landscaping

i’m not a fruitcake am i lad?

fruit (derogatory)

obama reading foucault to impress girls in college

i love you in spanish

i guess you are my little pogchamp

story of undertale

person at party: they don’t know that i x

glup shitto

if you x, don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine

twitter carp

biden getting the covid vaccine but he’s actually getting a tattoo

among drip

malewife + girlboss

year in show gifs

[technoxenoholic]

i think people should tag links that lead somewhere other than what would be indicated by the context of the post. someone following a link and ending up somewhere that distresses them isn’t funny. it’s just petty and rude to trap people that way.

like, i know y’all love your rickrolls and your stickbugs, but it would be really helpful to neurodivergent people like me if things like that were tagged. i find it really upsetting and frustrating when a link doesn’t go where it’s supposed to, and i especially can’t trust shortlinks because when i hover over them with my cursor they don’t tell me where they’ll actually send me to.

something like this should be a general tag, though, so it can apply to similar memes/etc besides those examples... something like “misleading links” maybe could work?

(and this also goes for telling someone “this is a link to ‘never gonna give you up’ by rick astley” and instead linking a bizarre cover version of the song, for example. it applies to any link that doesn’t lead where you’re saying/implying it leads.)

[owlf45]

wha- what's the random submission mean?- why is there a dudes face?- is that Lin- im so lost-

I didn’t know what it meant either, I had to ask Moonpaw,,, apparently if you send that picture to someone, it’s the equivalent (in meme language) to a rickroll or getting stickbugged

[ask-chef-teruteru]

I respect your use of old memes

“Shoot, is hungolomghononoloughongous already considered old? Heaven help me, I can’t even recall what the most recent meme I know is... The stickbug one maybe?”

[onelastbreath-writes]

On Bruce And Texting:

Author’s Note: Hello and welcome, this is my first properly written fic, originally posted to my AO3, and now that I have finally created a writing blog, it’s here as well. Please enjoy!!  AO3.  Masterlist

Warnings: Hopefully none, its all cute and fluff <3

Summary: Bruce Wayne texts like he's sending correspondences to the Queen, so of course the little monsters he calls children just have to make fun of him! Brats, the lot of them, but he wouldn't have them any other way.

Features: Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle, all the bats and birds, mentions JL, no crime fighting, only family fluff, jokes and nods to Millennial and GenZ shenanigans.

Word Count: 2.7k

---

Billionaire, genius, tech expert, father of many children, and all around up-to-date-with-just-about-everything type of person he may be, it is also a well-known Fact that Bruce Wayne, the Batman(TM) himself, can’t text to save his life.

Whether it’s due to his Very Proper English Upbringing, his inability to be informal via written correspondences of any type, his indifference, or the fact that it bothers his children so much, Bruce Wayne has not and never will text with anything less than perfect grammar, spelling, and formality. If he has not sent you a proper letter (featuring a dedication, indentation for every paragraph, signature, and post-script when applicable), he did, in fact, not send you that text. Informality is not his Batman Way(TM) according to his children... he’s not too sure what that even means, but it makes his young ones laugh so it’s probably fine?  

His oldest children (Richard and Jason) were raised in the time of Change, where computers, internet access, social media, and all things similar were only just being introduced into households en-masse. They were young enough to remember a time without such devices and connectivity (both for very different reasons, of course, but they grew up without the newest technology none-the-less). They could understand his relationship to the digital environment more so than his younger children, but they still tended to poke fun at his ‘texting blunders’ regularly. All his kids somehow ended up as brats. He doesn’t know how this happened. It’s certainly not his fault. He blames the League members, and especially Clark Kent, for their defiant personalities. 

His younger children, whom he loves dearly, like to confuse him as much as they possibly can with their slang, egregious spelling errors, and all-around ‘internet humour’. He doesn’t know what ‘wig’ or ‘worm’ or ‘oof’ or anything means. He has no idea what those dances are, or how they relate to the music that seems to always accompany them, and for the love of all that is good, don’t ask him what he thinks of this or that ‘meme’. What even is a ‘meme’, and should he be more concerned about his kids being obsessed with them? He tries, oh my god, does he try to follow the children’s conversations, but they somehow all learned a language he has no idea how to decrypt. His best response to them once they start speaking in tongues is as follows: smile but not too much, listen to child even though he is deeply confused, and pat child on head or shoulder when they are finished and are looking for assurance.  

He refuses to be a parent who ignores or tunes out his children, so he always makes sure to put down his work, his crossword, his tools, or whatever else is in his hands when a child searches him out for a conversation. But somehow, despite all the time he spends around them and their strange words, when he gets text from them comprised of abbreviations, acronyms, and completely random words, he goes a little cross eyed. He would never tell anyone, but he keeps a running list on his phone about the things they say that he has had to translate in the past. Spilling tea? Speaking the truth, usually to do with gossip. Wow? Multiple possible meanings: either a video game, or someone saying it (different pronunciation depending on context and who sent the text). Stickbug? A nice little prank with no ulterior motives, just for fun. Something along the lines of “this basic bitch Karen at the grocery store who is a dirty rat-licker and is def an anti-vaxxer just took 45 (forty-five) minutes to decide she didn’t actually want that almond milk. I Stan the cashier who had to put up with her. Rad af dude.” roughly translates to “A rude, middle-aged white woman who wasn’t wearing a mask and doesn’t believe in disease control or vaccinating her children wasted a great deal of an essential worker’s time in the checkout line. The cashier was very professional in their dealings with said customer and should be commended on their actions.”  

Given enough time, the internet for searching up new slang words, and occasionally some help from a friend (Alfred, Selina, Lucius, another of his children, etc), Bruce could decode and respond appropriately to most texts. He was quite proud of these achievements, and although he didn’t always like how often his children were on their phones or computers or gaming systems, he was quite proud of how integrated and easily they adapted to the ever-evolving world of electronics. All his kids were gifted in many ways, but their ability to learn, their hunger for knowledge, and their perseverance when exploring new and challenging ideas were always the things that he was most impressed by.  

He could do without their comments though. Yes, surprisingly, he did manage to get girlfriends with his type of texting. No, he doesn’t miss the ‘good old days’ when telegraphs were the main form of long-distance correspondence (how old do these brats think he is?!). And yes, he does know what a “tweet” is, and how to “post” on his social media accounts, and what “sliding into your DMs” is (thanks to a frantic search after a WE employee mentioned it near him). The Wayne children, truly whom and what Bruce considers his pride and joy, are cruel little jerks to him sometimes. His hoard of parenting books fails to mention what one should do when their children gang up on them. Bullying is covered of course, but he can’t really talk to a teacher or his guardian about how his second son calls him an idiot sandwich, or that his third son regularly tries to get him to do something “For The Vine”. His oldest and youngest boys are only slightly better in the bullying him department; Richard and his puppy dog eyes when he wants to do something dangerous or not-Alfred-approved, and Damian and his growing collection of pets because “Mother never let me have them, and I am deprived, and don’t you love me Father?”.  

His only good child is his beautiful daughter Cassandra, the flower of the Wayne clan. She gives him hugs, and pats his hands, and can sit with him and just enjoy the quiet and stillness when his other children are not around. Her language skills are improving by leaps and bounds every day, and her heart and spirit are unparalleled, but her main method of communication is in her movements. Her hands, her posture, her dancing; Bruce couldn’t think of a more graceful, fluid, powerful person if the world depended on it. His amazing little girl doesn't bully him (and if she ever does, he probably deserves it, he trusts her), so he turns to her most of all when it comes to communicating with someone else. She doesn’t let him send anything that is “sketchy” or “wrong words, bad meaning, Dad”. He would give the world to his children, but for Cassandra, he would destroy it and build her an entirely new one.

Social media, especially with his terrible children all having accounts dedicated to making him look like a simpleton, was another rocky terrain he had to navigate on the regular. He had professionals in place at WE to run the company’s many accounts, paid top dollar to help appeal and relate to the masses, but he mostly had to manage his personal accounts himself. And so, @TheRealBruceWayne was one of the greatest struggles in his adult life. Why can’t he just retweet every post from @WE_Offical and leave it at that? People should only want to know about what’s new with the company. What do you mean they want to know more about our family and private lives? That’s unnecessary, and not important to the running of the company, right? Right? Why are you laughing?!

Luckily, most people in his life aren’t so intimately aware of his struggles. He can act and lie all he wants about being “hip” and “woke” and whatever else the kids are saying these days when he’s with the JL or in board meeting intermissions, networking with his associates. The Batman knows all and sees all, Green Lantern, of course he understands how “Tiktok” works. The Batman is a robot without a funny bone in his body, Green Arrow, but I did witness him sigh and say “same” when he knocked his cup of coffee over while on monitor duty once. No matter how badly his darling children call him out, the Justice League would be so much worse. So, it’s one of his most importantly guarded secrets... even more so than his secret identity at this point. Being unmasked in front of every Gotham rogue would be less detrimental to him than his “friends” learning of his utter ineptitude in staying on top of the younger generations’ lingo.  

When questioned why the League doesn’t have a group chat or a forum or anything that they can use to contact each other outside of world ending matters and communicator (”because we’re friends, Batman! Ma and Pa Kent would love to have everyone over for a barbecue!”), the person who dared even mention texting isn’t even given a verbal response. They are just glared at, silently, often for several uninterrupted minutes, frozen in place only able to breathe shallowly in fear of setting off the Bat. “You know why” his glare says, “I’ll eat you, your family, and everything you have ever held dear” the younger members hear. No one makes the mistake of asking about it twice.  

Outside of his children and Alfred, and his small circle of true friends involved in all aspects of his life, there is only one more person Bruce allows to know of his Darkest Secret. Selina. Someone most people would recommend he not be involved with. Catwoman: accomplished thief, distraction, chaos-incarnate most nights, and his significant other. Sharp as a whip (ha) and crafty like no one’s business; he is head-over-heels. On again/Off again and all over the place their long romance has been, but no one has ever challenged him, intrigued him, like this clever, beautiful, amazing woman has. He’s brought his partners around his children before, both for their judgement, and for their worst behaviours to vet out any “unworthy” suitors. He trusts them explicitly to tell him the truth about those he allows into the manor; were they rude about Bruce wanting to have group outings, did they say something about Bruce’s money, did they get angry or shout or make anyone uncomfortable while they were here? If his children even looked slightly unhappy with someone he brought them to meet, that person would not be invited back. Children, he finds, have the best sight when meeting people; no motives other than finding safety and love, no fear of consequences from speaking honestly...  

Selina, or Catwoman, as they had known her first, was someone all of his kids liked without issue right off the bat. She would make puns and play word games with Richard, his first Robin, tiny, still working on his English, able to connect with him over their acrobatic abilities. His second Robin, Jason, skittish and feisty as an alley cat, knew of Catwoman and her daring escapades long before Bruce found him. The young boy had a few heroes, and no one (not even Wonder Woman) could compare to the incredible burglar who bought food and jackets and medicine for the street kids in Crime Alley. She was saintly in his eyes, and to this day, Bruce was still working on convincing Jason he was good enough for Selina. Tim and Cass and Stephanie (basically another daughter to Bruce, she spends so much time with the family) all joined the Wayne clan around the same time and officially met Selina as a friend and partner of his, and in the good graces of his first two sons. Selina, in all her nightly business, and many travels and acquaintances, had met the three independently, helping Tim get home safely back to Drake Manor when he escaped to photograph Batman and Robin in the dank darkness of Gotham when he was just a young boy, spending some time with Cassandra when her despicable father left her alone long enough to recover from his rough treatment, showing her the first scraps of kindness in her short life, and watching over and protecting Stephanie as she followed and sabotaged her father Cluemaster and his criminal activities. There was no need to win them over once they met her civilian identity, she had already gained their favour and acceptance, and they were happy to have her near their new family. Damian, his youngest, his biological son, took the longest to warm up to Selina. He would never fault his little boy for fighting so hard against a woman that was not his birth mother, especially after all the manipulation and cruelty dealt to him by Talia for the first decade of his life. But as he began to learn about his father, these people in his father’s life, and this woman that was Not His Mother but “still okay, I guess”, he grew to see her as acceptable. Her cats definitely helped, he’d say, no one with cats that loyal and happy can be a bad person.  

Selina, the love of his life, he’d admit quietly to himself, was also a dirty traitor and in cahoots with his terrible children. She would say his texting skills were “sweet” and “very gentlemanly” when she was asked by anyone outside the family, and privately to him she would say she thought they were “adorable” and “please don’t ever change, Bruce, I like it.” However, nothing seemed to bring her more joy than his children sending her texts and “Snaps” and “memes” about him to her. Sometimes it was screenshots of the family group chat that they forced him to join, where he would post “To whom it may concern...” and “In regards to...” when he needed to reach all his delinquents in a timely manner. Sometimes it was video clips of him staring at his phone intently, then typing something on his laptop, then him reading and nodding along, and then finally going back and responding to the text he received with a small, pleased smile. And sometimes, when he got too injured or was too incapacitated to text coherently, he’d have his nearest able child transcribe his text to her. Depending on who was texting her for Bruce, she could expect many different things. From Dick, she’d get lots of shorthand and silly emojis, and many, many, winky and crying/laughing faces in brackets depending on what Bruce had made him type. Jason, bless him, used proper English most of the time, but would never write a single word of Bruce’s soliloquy to her, instead she enjoyed the TL;DR version: “hurt again, missing you, come home soon, blah blah blah, sappy gross words here, love you”. Tim would allow speech recognition to run on Bruce’s phone, and just let it go until the man passed out. Stephanie, the little chaos child, would film it and send it to her, including all her muffled laughter and shaky camera shots of Bruce emoting with his available undamaged limbs. Cass, still more versed in physicality and emotive movement, would interpret Bruce’s text into mostly emojis, hearts and happy faces and animals, but would include photos, and phrases that she found important enough to type out for Selina. Damian, forever his Father’s son in any way possible, texts very formally, referring to her or his siblings Bruce mentions by last name only, and lots of “Father requests me to tell you...” and “Kyle, know that Father...”. She adores these kids, and once Bruce recovers enough to text her himself, or she gets back to the Manor, they get to laugh about whatever she was sent this time.  

So, while it’s true that Bruce couldn’t text his way out of a wet paper bag, and his kids are sometimes brats about it, there’s probably a lot of different reasons he doesn’t spend too much time trying to improve his skills. Whether it’s the smiles of his children, the giggles of his significant other, or the warm feeling in his chest when he sees all his important people bonding over him, well, in the end, who’s to say?

[toriel-2]

I'm not posting jumpscares on here for April fools but i personally never cared for what the stick bug meme became, so i dont know if ill post that either. It kinda became overplayed and overdone, which im pretty sure, uh, kills a joke, or at least it forces it to withstand an endurance test to see how funny the format really is. the same probably applies to music i dunno...the stick bug meme had some good stand out examples but alot of it got boring. I do enjoy the gnome though. At least with gnome bait and switches the gnome video itself is funny, the stickbug is just kinda cute really

[animaljaminal]

Hi there! I'm not new to Tumblr [obviously] but this is my first time on the Animal Jam community here. I love all your animals' looks! You know what would be an awesome NM AJPW animal? A puffin! Also, I know your NM, but do you have any advice on how I can get people to join my pack?

Ooookay, first up, THANK YOU SO MUCH NAJSSJNSAJSJ I put quite some thought and effort into putting my looks together and strive to give each animal as much individuality and personality as possible!

Second, when it comes to ajpw (renamed to just aj while the desktop-only version was renamed to classic), all animals can be used by all jammers, but you do have a point, puffins are cute and they could make a nice addition! as long as we get coconut crabs as playable animals at some point as well. oh and pet stickbugs that do the funny meme dance

finally, third... I sadly really don't have any clue how you can get people to become interested in your pack specifically... maybe just try to wait for someone to ask if there are any active packs they could join (if yours is active) or idk, just be patient and keep trying? Because as far as I've seen, jammers are more likely to bite when a pack offers lots of drops or giveaways and OR very frequent pack runs, so idk...try working up towards that? I don't exactly know what level you are or what kind of trades have you been doing or idk, just laying out some thoughts. anybody else got any clue how to help this person? feel free to add on!