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#i know what happens and who ppl are and how everything works who lives who dies and so on
solace-seekers · 3 months
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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baekuras · 7 months
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Finished the Hell's Paradise anime and really REALLY you're gonna end it there? I want my closure in anime format as well right now pls and thank you this is just mean
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caruliaa · 2 years
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yk i think like. im trying desperately not to depress people around me w how close to doomerism i can veer but like. at a certain point its like. the effort and exhaustion that goes into maintaining just being alive in this world is not worth what comes from being alive and like. girlies we may have reached it. el oh el.
#like obvs its different for everyone like. what i really mean is that i have reached it or like. tht was always inevitably the case#for my life. which ik feels really depressing to say nd im sorry tht it makes ppl sad but idk like. its just true at a certain point#absolutely not from a lack of trying from the good things within my life to be clear not at all like. ik have sm great parts to my life#tht like. just mean so so much to me and im so so lucky to have but as upsetting as it is to say and think abt#at a certain point having to choose between being trapped in a situation were you can never authentically exist or like#have any control over your life and exist on your own terms even in v small ways while having to constantly be around people whove#caused you so much pain and trauma and hurt and being is a situation were like. at best your constantly working to afford living and you#are constantly exhausted by this and have no time for being yourself anyway and at worst you just cant afford anything and you die#and that could happen to you at any point idk like. these are my two options and i cant change anything about that fact#no matter how much i want to and that feeling is just. so so crushing and inescapable and just idk i dont know how to deal with it#like. idk iv done everything to try to but its only ever a temporary distraction#bc the problem isnt fucking like. mental or emotional its the facts of my reality and that cant be changed#so ofc im going to be constantly fucking miserable things just. are misearble#and idk. im sorry tht thts something other ppl have to deal with when it comes to like. knowing me bc genuinly its like.#they dont deserve that its sm pain for somoene to deal with and if that someone isnt. somone whos come to term with what#my fate invetiably is like have ik its too much nd im sorry for like. putting that on ppl i just. idk im sorry#idk what up with me suddnely. i mean i do but like. idk why i cant just hold it together like. this has always been the case idk why#im letting it upset me sm suddenly . ig bc i let myself have hope at some point. like an idiot.#idk im sorry. and its nearly 1am so i think im just going to go to sleep.im so sorry for just. all of this.#lucy if your reading tihs im so sorry for not sending and answering asks but i want to say that i love you so so so much. and im sorry#flappy rambles#vent#ask to tag
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youraveragemushroom · 2 years
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♡♡♡♡
#.#im understanding sisyphus a lot better now#or rather just greek irony a lot more#nobody was doing purgatory or hell the way they greeks were#sorry i was thinking of tantalus yeah thats whats happening to me#cause i like cooking i like food#i wanna say maybe to some im actually good at it or something maybe#but i also cant it more than one meal a day if that or else i go to really dark places mentally and feel like shit physically#like its bad and ik i should work on reversing the whole ED situation#but unintentionally or not ive invested too much into this sinking ship to not see it through#its not that bad i swear ik it could be worse and im not encouraging it to worsen#but like is it bad id rather it get worse than i recover?#no yeah thats bad its bad damn oh well its not like its not obvious im like transparent w this shit i bet nobodys said anything tho so its#it cant be that bad cause nobodys said anything#doesnt mean they havent noticed but hey theyre also the same ppl who are happy im marginally less fat and kinda on the right path#like if i hadnt fucked this week up then i wouldve hit 25 probably#i def did hit 25 one day but yeah atm its 20 and if i put in the effort which i hate how hopeful it sounds i know its bad but fuck i cant#care about morality and shit anymore nothing good has come of being moral or healthy or trying to get better#the only thing thats working rn is this so maybe if in a few months i hit that dream number maybe itll make it easier to not kill myself#like sure it wont change everything else wrong but even if im alone at least 40 pounds lighter i wont mind living w myself#like even if it makes no difference to anyone at least maybe i can look in the mirror for longer than a few seconds before starting to cry#i thought there would be more good days before things got bleak but now its like hard to tell myself its worth holding out for the next ones#i dont mean ​worth in a suicidal way#but like yeah no i cant find reasons to be happy and that should be scary except its been months and im just tired now#i cant believe ive gotten to this level of defeat i didnt think this was achievable outside like a literary context#goodnight and happy v day i guess cheers
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khunyuki · 3 months
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"I've lived my life with blade and you always in my mind"
ᴍᴀɪɴ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ: 2.𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 you mean to me
Synopsis: Soshiro, who didn't notice just how much pressure Kagami was experiencing, felt extremely guilty. He thought he's been expressing his love for her clearly but it seems like it wasn't enough. So he better make sure his beloved fiancee will understand it all night long.
Pairing/s: Soshiro Hoshina x Fiancee!OC
Notes: This is the very first smut i've ever done in my entire writing career so please do enjoy you horny ppl. I already immediately apologize if it's inadequate cuz I don't usually write this genre huhu. ALWAYS ASK FOR CONSENT GUYSSS🫶
Warning/s: Minors below 18+ is NOT allowed,
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, NSFW
Masterlist: TOC, Previous, Next
↓↓↓ PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AS THIS CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT ↓↓↓
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"Why don't we go somewhere else first. So you can do it comfortably?"
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This wasn't the first time Kagami visited her fiance's apartment. It was a 2 bedroom with a kitchen, living room, and bathroom apartment that is wide yet cozy enough for the two of them. She remember helping him choose among other options until he picked this particular place, saying that it would fit the two of them perfectly and he was right.
She sat down the sofa in the living room after removing her sandals and his jacket while he immediately went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. It wasn't often that she come here despite having a duplicate key to the place but she could still see the things she left behind during her visits, decorating his place. It fills her with warmth to see him have a special place for her things and the thought of how domestic it was. To her, his apartment felt more like home than the household she's been brought up.
He handed her a glass of water before sitting to which she gladly drank as it reminded her of how parched her throat was. On his other hand was a cold compress for her bruised cheek that she had long forgotten about. He placed her in his arms so casually yet making sure she was comfortable with it. His right hand keeping the compress in place as the other was playing with her hair as they relaxed in each other's arms.
To be honest, she'd fall asleep at that moment with how safe and protected he made her feel. It was late and they could still talk about it tomorrow but she might lose her courage if she didn't talk now.
And so, she began to tell him everything. She started with her insecurities about herself, her struggles at not being able to keep up with expectations, how her family uses it against her, how they kept forcing her to quit work to get married and bear an heir, how she actually did give in her resignation letter but was rejected, to the what happened earlier this day when their engagement was almost cancelled.
Soshiro just listened and let her talk. All this time, his fiancee was struggling yet he never really did anything to help her with it before making him angry at himself. He felt guilty because she would always listen to his problems yet he just let her keep all of this to herself. He would clench his jaw in anger at her family whenever she vaguely mentions the punishments and the treatment they gave to her. He knew she was still keeping things to herself despite saying she'll tell him everything, he just didn't know the extent of it. Perhaps she keeps it to herself as she knew just how he'll storm in their residence to give them a taste of their own medicine once he learns about it, with how she squeezes his hands during the times he felt pissed off. Most of all, he just felt guilty.
He could hear it in her voice just how lonely it was for her to endure it all alone. While she may not be blaming him, he sure was blaming himself. He should've been braver and more straightforward when it comes to confessing his feelings. Because he could correlate everything to each other, how her emotions, her family's actions, and his response significantly affects her entire well-being.
He hates how she doesn't cry from the treatment she receives from her family but she cried when they told her to leave him. He hates how she cried when he told her he loves her as if his words were her whole world. He hates how she couldn't be happy and how she thinks that calling herself failure is a normal. He hates how she could be content with just him. He hates how he's one of the root causes of her problems.
When she could be happy and have all of the great things in the world. When he would gladly give her what she wants and punish those who hurt her. He wants her not to be content with the crumbs of affection she gets for she deserved even more than that. He just want her to think of herself first and foremost. Her wants her to love herself and think of her happiness rather than anyone else's as nothing will be able to take it away from her. He won't let anyone take anymore from her.
Hoshina Soshiro doesn't know what to do to help her and he hates it.
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"So yeah... That's all of it"
Kagami ended her speech in a casual tone, contrasting the heavy contents she just told. She felt lighter now that she told him but her heart sank when she saw how grave his expression was. She took away the compress he was holding that was unfortunately the poor victim of his irritation and placed it on the table.
"Everything I told you, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault"
She faced him and placed her forehead onto his, closing her eyes with a mellow smile. He hates how even after all of that she's the one comforting him instead the other way around.
"I didn't tell you about this because I wanted you to be my therapist. I just want you to know what to expect if you still... want to be with me. I have a lot of problems and I never want to burden you with it. This engagement was something our families have decided and it's perfectly fine if you chose not to continue with it. It was just my selfishness that made me do this because I want to stay by your side... but if you want to leave then I... "
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↓↓↓ PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AS THIS CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT ↓↓↓
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"I love you"
Soshiro said it firmly before kissing her on the lips. He put her in his lap, wrapping an arm on her waist and the other firmly on the back of her head. He kissed her with such passion as if to show just how much he loves her. Kagami was so surprised by his sudden action yet she still wrapped her arms around his neck and responded with the same amount of passion.
Soshiro slipped his tongue in her mouth and explored every nook and corner, battling with her own tongue and mixing their salivas. Kagami struggled to breathe at the intimacy and could feel herself getting weaker, letting him to do what he wants. She couldn't even move an inch since his hand was firmly placed on the back of her head.
She was feeling lightheaded with every second that passes by before he finally retreated to stare at her. The trail of saliva that hang between their tongue made her flustered as she recalled what they just did. She couldn't find any words as she gazed at him with a dazed expression.
"You're always so kind"
He moved his hands to her cheeks and kissed her forehead tenderly.
"So thoughtful"
Her right eye.
"So considerate of others"
Her left eye.
"So hardworking"
Her left cheek.
"And brave"
Her nose.
"You're always so understanding"
Her right cheek.
"So unselfish"
Her jaw.
"Yet so lovely"
Her chin.
"You're so beautiful"
He looked at her straight in the eye, his red eyes staring deep into her soul and pecked her lips. So tender, so gentle, in contrast to his passionate kiss from earlier.
His compliments are things he always says to her yet hearing it being said so lovingly like he was ingraining those words into her makes her so full. She couldn't stop her emotions as they fell down her eyes. His fingers wiping the tears away.
He leaned down once more and kissed her. This time it was slow and steady as he gently guided her body down the sofa. He trailed down her lips to her neck, his breath tickling her skin eliciting a sigh. His hands that had no longer to go reached for her own, interlocking their fingers.
"S-soshiro~"
His lips sucking and nipping on the skin leaving light marks. She couldn't help but call out his name as he keeps on doing so all over her neck. Her sense of touch has always been one of her most sensitive senses along her hearing so the combo of his gentle kisses, occasional licks and deliberate sucking was far too much. She couldn't keep gasps and moans nor could she keep her body from squirming under his touch.
The kimono she was wearing was loosening from all her squirming thus exposing her collarbones and the skin beneath it. The sight was enough to make Soshiro go crazy, as if her moans weren't taking a toll on his self control already. But not yet... He still has to shown her how precious she is...
He stopped his actions and looked her in the eyes to ask for consent. Giving her words of affirmations and comfort as he does.
"I can't even begin to know just how much pain and sadness you must've felt this whole time nor do I know what I can do to help you. But I promise to always stay by your side and be there when you need me."
"I want to show you just how precious you are... Will you let me?"
Touched by his affection and consideration, Kagami nodded her head. She may not believe in herself but she believes in his words. If it's him then she's fine with anything.
"Yes... I'm all yours"
She reached out to his head and brought them together in a kiss. He picked her up in his arms while maintaining contact and brought her to his bed. He only broke contact to place her gently on the bed, then topping her dazzled form.
"I love you, Kagami"
"I love you too, Soshiro"
He placed one more kiss on her lips then proceeded to untie the sash of her kimono. The hold that her clothes had on her body loosened and became non-existent as he threw the sash on the ground. There she was in her naked glory looking at him with eyes filled with innocence yet her body filled with seduction. He couldn't help but stare at the milky white skin that seemed to have never been touched by sunlight, riddled with faded scars from battle wounds and her past. He stopped himself from once again feeling the bubbling anger towards her family to focus on her only.
She tried cover herself after seeing the slight hesitance in his eyes but he stopped her from doing so.
"You're gorgeous"
Flustered from the new compliment, she stopped struggling but continues to squirm under his intense gaze. His red eyes seemingly memorizing her body in evey nooks and crannies. He looked at her mounds that weren't small nor big, just the perfect size for her physique. Her stomach that was so flat and sexy he couldn't help but caress it. He could see the abs hidden by her sleeper build whenever her muscles would tense and he couldn't help but trace it. Then down that was her womb covered by her purple underwear that was soaked wet from her continuous arousal. He couldn't help but lick his lips at how sexy it looked, feeling his own throbbing hard.
Her womb and stomach. If they were to have a baby then those two would be the most obvious place for it. He imagines her belly being swollen from the child they'll produce once he gives her his sperm. He traces that area, purposely slipping his fingers in the underwear and grazing her clit earning a gasp from her. Her thighs pressed so close to each other, he wanted to pry it open and...
"Soshiro, please stop staring already"
She looks so pretty and so sexy that he wonders how he got so lucky to have her. He wanted to touch her immediately, to make love and have babies but not yet. It's not the time yet.
"Tell me, Kagami. What do you want me to do?"
He leaned down to her ear and asked in a whisper. A wide smirk in his face at seeing the blood rush to it. She looked at him with a pout, her face filled with desperation due to his teasings. She bit her lips in hesitance.
"Please"
"Hmm?"
He mused, continuing to move his hands up and down her stomach, purposely grazing her breast with one while the other the place between her thighs.
"Please, Soshiro"
She gripped on his arm, pleading with her eyes. It was glistening from all the yearning and lust and he couldn't help but be captivated by it. He bit his own lips as he tried to resist but she makes it so hard for him to do so. Giving in, he once again devoured her lips participating in a battle of tongues. Then he moved down, licking and kissing her jaw to her neck then to her collarbones, kissing it and sucking on it. Both his hands now touching her breasts, squeezing it basking in how soft it was, with his finger pinching her nipples. His clothed knee finding its way between her legs and separating them as he presses it against her heat, grinding against it.
Kagami was a blubbering mess from how overstimulated she was. She's too sensitive to his touch, reacting to every little detail that she felt like her brain was a mush. She kept on calling out his name, moaning and gasping so desperately that he wonders how she'd react once they finally did it.
He traced a line with his tongue to the area between her breast after he finished placing hickeys on her collar. He kept on marking his way until he reached the peak of her left mound. With bated breath, he placed it in his mouth, sucking like a baby. His free hand now stroking her sides.
Kagami's eyes widened as she felt the soft, warm muscle on the bundle of nerves on her chest. As he kept on sucking on her nipple, biting it and circling around it after with his other hand massaging and pinching her abused nipple. The pleasure was too much as he keeps on stimulating her other areas that she could feel the knot of her stomach starting to come undone.
"So-ahh-shiro~ There's.. There's something coming out ahhh~ stop~"
When Soshiro heard that, he didn't stop but rather became more aggressive, his free hand foregoing her sides to touch the little bundle of nerves down there. He pressed on her clothed clit and circled around it with his thumb in a fast motion. That addition fastened the process to which she came with a loud moan. He stopped what he's doing to give her some time to rest and seeing her wasted expression boosted his ego. She was still recovering from her high, panting hard when he said...
"We're not done yet"
She glanced down at him to see him place wet kisses on her stomach. She didn't notice it before but he was clearly touching and kissing on her scars tenderly. Even though it was already fading he still chooses to pay attention to it and that gave her butterflies. But as he went down a bit more, she gulped.
He was in between her legs placing a soft kiss on the hem of her underwear then leaning back to observe the soaked spot. Earlier, it was just a small spot but now it was soaked after cumming for the first time. He placed a little kiss on her clothed heat, specifically where it was soaked before proceeding to remove her panties. As soon as he saw it, he let out a gasp like a child finding a new favorite toy, she could see the excitement on his face. She hurriedly tried to close it but her body was still weak from all of that pleasure that she couldn't fight back from his hands.
His grip on her thighs was strong as he bit and sucked on her inner slowly going down again. Getting nearer and nearer her unclothed heat this time. His tongue giving it a long lick starting from her hole to her clit. He sat back up to show her his expression as he savored her juices, licking his lips at the end.
"Yum~"
He gave her a final smirk before burying himself down there once again, this time shamelessly lapping up all the juices she's producing. Her heart was beating so fast from embarrassment at his eagerness and teasing but she couldn't do anything as her body trembled from the pleasure. Her voice music to his ears knowing that he was the cause of this symphony. The nectar she was producing was so addicting that he couldn't help but come back for more. He needed more so he removed his hands from her thighs to let it rub her clit and the other place a finger in her hole.
She gasped at the unfamiliar sensation inside her, how his finger moved around in whatever motions trying to find something. He pumped it inside out slowly to gauge out her reactions. Glancing back at her face, he could see just how much his actions were affecting her so he went back in to further pleasure her. He just wanted to give her so much love y'know.
He added another finger, scissoring inside and curling making her moan even louder. His tongue joining in despite how tight it was getting. Of course he never forgot her bundle of joy. He is taking his sweet time as he wanted to find that sweet spot, the spot would elicit an even louder moan. He pumped in and out maintaining a pace moving it around until he finally finds that gummy area. He inserted another finger and went faster, hitting that same spot over and over again. Partnered with her clit being tortured by the fast paced circling and rubbing, it didn't take long for her to come again. She clenched his hair and almost strangled him with her thighs yet he still didn't stop as he rode her high.
"Too much! It's too much!"
She could feel her hips trembling so hard yet he hasn't stopped at all, maintaining that fast paced pumping and wriggling, his thumb abusing her clit even further and his tongue lapping up everything.
She was seeing stars from the overstimulation, her eyes going to the back of her head as she kept of moaning, no longer able to form coherent sentences. She could feel another wave coming down, tilting her head back and arching her back, she released again.
Finally giving her mercy, Soshiro stopped it all at once. He removed his fingers from her heat and watched her body still trembling. He removed the restricting clothing that was now sticky from sweat in their workout. His pants unbuckled, freeing his member. It was throbbing red and physically hurting from the previous constriction. It was hard from arousal and has been leaking with precum since earlier wanting to finally have a release. He watched the woman he loves slowly recovering yet still out of her mind as he stroked his member, just watching her fucked out image was making it twitch and as he remembered her reactions from earlier, it didn't take long for him to pump out his own release.
Feeling something warm and sticky landing on her stomach, Kagami focused her eyes to see her fiance, now naked, touching his own member. She couldn't help but bite her lips at the sight, from how lean and muscular it was, even more so as she looked at his face full of concentration as he rode his high.
"You liking the sight?"
He asked her with a smirk, noticing her blatant oogling. It made her blush again before looking away, though she didn't hide her nod from him earning her a chuckle.
"Sorry I don't have a condom so..."
He completely removed his own clothing, proudly exhibiting his member. It was on the leaner side yet longer at around 6-7 inches. He was preparing to go and take care of his problem by himself.
"It's fine if we don't use one. I-I'm ready for it but if you aren't then I..."
She tried to sit up to go try and help him but was down again. She usually have a lot of strength and stamina yet this activity greatly consumes it all. He went to sit down beside her and hugged her, placing a kiss on her head.
"I'm also fine with it but are you sure?"
"Yeah though I... I can still try to help you with that"
Stuttering a bit about her offer, Kagami couldn't help but let out a shy look. Soshiro chuckled at her conviction and willingness to help but...
"Maybe next time"
They kissed each other passionately before he moved back on top of her and readied to position himself. They both know what this means are fully ready to accept what happens next. For now, they've got important matters to attend to.
Looking at each other in the eye, fingers interlocked together, he went inside. It was a complete different experience compared to earlier. Kagami could feel an even longer length than his fingers reaching far deeper into her hole, she let out a gasp from how it completely filled her up. Soshiro, though, had to give it his all not to immediately cum from how tight she was. He pressed his forehead on hers as his brows furrowed in deep concentration, letting out grunts. And when he finally got it all in, he waited for her signal before moving.
He started the pace slow and sensual, wanting their first time to be something special, to be making love and not just sex. He was going deep and accurately hitting her spot yet never changing the pace. Looking at each other in the eyes, giving out a smile despite the moaning and grunting. They were completely matching each other's movements, proof that they've known each other for a long time to know what to do next, despite this being their first time.
He would whisper to her sweet nothings, praises, and words of assurance. Rubbing her hand and bringing it up to kiss it. He's clearly proven to her just how much she means to him and it fills her with so much joy.
"I think i'm the happiest woman in the world right now"
With the tears falling down her eyes once more, never looking away from his, she thanked him to which he shook his head.
"You'll be the happiest forever, not just now"
He made her a promise, he said it with much certainty that she felt like it's true... She believe it to be true. They both share a laughter even as they both feel their orgasms coming closer.
"I love you, Soshiro"
"I love you too, Kagami"
With their lips pressed against each other, they moved their bodies in synchronicity getting more desperate after each stroke. Both wanting to reach their orgasms in a feral attempt, their feelings for each other so overflowing until finally... Finally, they came together, truly becoming one with each other. They ride their high together and stopped.
"I love you"
They looked at each other and let out another round of chuckles and giggles.
"Uzui Kagami, you are the loveliest woman I've ever met and I'm honored to be chosen to stay by your side"
"Hoshina Soshiro, you're the kindest man I've ever met and I'm thankful that you chose to stay by my side"
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anshelsgendercrisis · 12 days
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hersh lived in my town for a few years. everything i've heard from everybody who knew him said that he was an incredible man. everything i've heard about his political beliefs makes him seem like one of those idealized "good jews" that so many leftists want- not the Bad Israeli Zionist Jews. i never knew him but he seemed like such a good man. and they're celebrating his death anyway.
yeah. i think that’s what’s so devastating about his death, and the death of vivian silver as well. these are jews that western leftists would laud as “one of the good ones”…. if they didn’t happen to live in israel. their work would mean something… if they didn’t happen to live in israel. they would deserve respect and humanity… if they didn’t happen to live in israel. they wouldn’t deserve to have their deaths celebrated… if they didn’t happen to live in israel. and it just makes me think of how many diaspora jews i know who could be israeli if things had turned out just slightly differently for their families after fleeing pogroms or surviving the holocaust or being ethnically cleansed from their homes. because at least in the diaspora we get the illusion of choice when it comes to whether or not we’re allowed to be human. we can “choose” to have all the right opinions, to assimilate, to placate westerners. and that might work for a while. but even the most left wing israeli antizionist who wants the state of israel to be dissolved isn’t going to be doing enough, because they’re israeli.
and yeah idk watching ppl celebrate hersh’s death really put things in perspective for me. it will never be enough. there’s always a choice a dead jew should have made to avoid being dead. shot at the tree of life synagogue? well, were you a zionist? killed in your home on a kibbutz? well, why do you live in israel? you were born there because your parents are refugees from iraq and libya? well, why didn’t you go back there? you can’t because you’ll be killed? well, why didn’t move somewhere else? your family moved you to israel when you were a child? well, you’re an adult now, why didn’t you move away? why didn’t you pack up your entire life and move away from your family to a strange country where you might not be safe and don’t have a support system? why didn’t you just work more so you had the money to move? why didn’t you just choose to go to college in another country? why does it matter how other countries treat jews? why does it matter that there are places who literally won’t let you into the country if you have an israeli passport or even if you have an israeli stamp on your passport? there will never be an answer that makes them happy. the only thing that will make them happy is your death.
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virgobingo · 9 months
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maki is an interesting character, bc she is generally acknowledged to be one of gege's best written characters in jjk, period. regardless of gender.
but the reason she is so great, is because her arc is centered around her experiences as a girl in a patriarchal society. not one that fits into the standard either.
she's born into a family that is considered misogynistic by other clans' standards. as a twin, no less, which is considered a bad omen. with little to no curse energy to boot.
still, for a large portion of her life, she desired to prove herself to them. in a way that reminds me of the myth of meritocracy? that idea of "if you work hard enough, you can do anything you want and you can prove yourself to the naysayers."
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but in her journey she learns it's impossible for her to rise in an institution that actively works against her.
this happens, specifically, when she goes to the zenin clan during the culling games (to simply collect tools). she's confronted by reality in ways that echo momo and nobara's conversation (about the weight of misogyny in their lives).
"A scar on the face can be a good thing for guys. But not for girls. You think the world of Jujutsu Sorcerers is based on skills? [It is] Sure. But only for guys. Even if a girl is skilled, if she's not cute, she is looked down upon. Of course, if she's only cute without any skill, it's the same. Women Jujutsu Sorcerers aren't expected to be skilled. They're expected to be perfect." (Momo, Chapter 40)
the first thing she is told when she visits the compound is "yikes, what a face. that ain't gonna heal. what are you gonna do Maki? [...] all you had going was your face and now it's wrecked. no one will even look in your direction anymore." (Chapter 148, p.2-3)
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after that, she crosses paths with her mother, who, at face value, echoes the horror tropes of mothers that "fanatically conform to the institution" (i think her actions later make her more complex).
then, finally, maki comes across her father, who remarks on maki and mai's "worthlessness" to him. he's convinced himself he would be better off in life if they were dead.
maki's continuously told she has no value in this world. for things that are out of her control.
of course, this all leads to the loss of mai, who sacrifices herself in order to essentially push maki forward as a character bc "to gain something, you must offer something," in the world of jujutsu kaisen. this is not exclusive to them. it also leads to mai telling maki something that aligns really well with what "female rage" means to me:
"Destroy… Everything" (Chapter 149, p.12)
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why?
i think there is no amount of climbing you can do in a society that is actively pulling you down. no way to become clan head in an institution that wants you dead.
i believe it's this realization that causes maki to embrace her "monstruous femininity" that ultimately results in her ascension (as a person, as a sorcerer).
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i know some people criticize her decision to kill the zenin in honor of her sister's memory. but, i think the message here is that some institutions simply cannot be reformed.
also, note that with their destruction, maki's narratively released from their expectations.
anyways, what comes after is honestly hilarious. i think it's a mockery of what gege expected misogynistic readers to say. "you're not toji!" (Chapter 151, 6-19) as if drawing a parallel implies that she's his copy.
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another charming detail to maki's character is how sumo helps her find freedom/her groove. considering how, in traditional sumo, "women are considered impure and cannot step into the ring". it's just something so fitting for maki who continually defies gender expectations.
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long post to say: i honestly love her and i think ppl often ignore how entrenched her story is in the female experience bc they just see how buff she is.
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kanmom51 · 2 months
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Like Crazy - new insights
*This is a reposting of my latest reblog due to issues with that specific post.
***This has been sitting in my drafts since April 2023!!!
This is the post I reblogged and the basis to my own post.
Yep. I had some of a post written way back in April 2023, but the pieces just didn't come all together for me.
After Muse's release and specifically after the BTB yesterday where JM discussed Who, Muse and the lyrics, we also saw the change made to Who's lyrics from "you" to "she" things started to clear up for me. But then, a friend also shared a picture of the original lyrics of Like Crazy, which were subsequently altered before recording. We discussed these changes and I now feel that this is it! This is the missing piece to my post.
I mostly left what I wrote over a year ago in tact, adding the missing pieces to this puzzle that makes this post with what I feel is a little more insight into Like crazy.
Needless to say, these are my opinions, how I see the lyrics, the ones that made the cut and the ones that stayed in JM's lyrics journal.
So, let's get started:
Here I was thinking I'm the only one who was seeing this...
I do hope I'm reading this right, before going off motormouth about something that maybe isn't what is being said, but to hell with it, this is something I've been thinking too and I'm just gonna come out and say it.
We're all over 18 here right?
This is a subject we can talk about?
The more I listen to this song, the more I think it to be true too.
First of all, before starting off, I want to link this ask:
**Shock and awe... "she" wasn't part of the original lyrics for Like Crazy . Colour me surprised to learn the same is true with Who (even though JM didn't actually write the song himself). Oh, and if we are on that subject already, how not surprising to see the process of writing the song with John Billion, who happens to be one of the writers of SNTY as well (me sitting here thinking of several words and references that could have been somehow suggested and inserted into the song. No idea who (nah, I'm telling lies, I know exactly who). How shocking (NOT) to see that the artist actually had input with the song lyrics of which he is not credited in writing.
Again, the depth of the song, the layers to the song and the multiple interpretations too.
JM told us this song is about him struggling. He told us he was going through a period where he was drinking too much. He was finding fulfillment in ways other than performing, as performing is part of him, he is a performer, someone who needs the stage to express himself. The stage is where he is at peace, the stage being a piece of him that he was missing.
We saw his outburst of emotions in the first day of MOTS ON:E (that was my first experience of BTS and he literally broke my heart - and later seeing him being mocked for it infuriated me).
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This was October 2020, around 6 months into the pandemic. The uncertainty. This is their first online performance and from there until Muster another 9 months go by. We know from Festa 2022 that the pandemic screwed up all of their plans. The uncertainty, working on and releasing BE and then Butter and PTD everything leading up to the PTD online concert, a year after MOTS ON:E. For those that performing is their life, standing in front of an audience and giving it their all, it's a hard pill to swallow. The unknown, if they will ever get back to perform on stage in front of a live audience, when this is who they are, their essence, it can be unbearable. JM wasn't the only performer to go through this. It's just that he shared this with us. He showed us his pain and vulnerability and was mocked for it by many. Shame on them!!!
So, again, JM told us with Like Crazy, that he was filling in that hole. Alcohol was mentioned by him specifically. But listening to the song, I think it's quite clear that sex was a very big part of it as well. Looking for that rush, that high. It's clear as day, for me anyway, in the lyrics.
(I think we could last forever I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)
[Verse 1] She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, you can leave it Stay with me until today
[Verse 2] Watch me go Wet me all night (Away) And morning too Don't come if you're drunk
In this loud music It fades me It's a drama-like story I'm get used to it Have you come far to find me that you used to know? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)
[Chorus] I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste
[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I
[Interlude] Mmm-hmm Yeah, hey Mmm-hmm Ooh-woah Mmm-hmm Mmm-hmm (Forever, you and I)
[Verse 3] Me reflects in the mirror I'm going crazy without hesitation I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time
I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste
[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I
[Outro] This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)
Those are the lyrics he recorded.
But you see, there were changes made to the lyrics he was working on originally, and we got to see some of them.
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This specifically:
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Reading this draft and the final ones there are a few things that just fall into place for me (and I'd think for anyone that reads them), loud and clear:
First of all, obviously JM is singing about drinking too much alcohol. If the final lyrics hinted to losing himself in alcohol, the draft lyrics are ever so clear regarding that point.
Second of all, the sex. I think JM was pretty straight forward using the wording he was using. "Give me a good ride" can be other things, if you twist it around to try and explain it away, but bottom line, those lines within the context of the lines in the draft, like "just go turn off the light, you and me..." not to mention the whole chorus, to me the reference is obvious.
Next, I talked about the many references to JK in this song in this post:
This is all also relevant when it comes to my next point being the fact that to me it's clear that JM wrote this song referencing a special someone with whom he shares a high level of intimacy. A special someone that was there by his side when JM was struggling. A special someone that was struggling seeing JM going through everything he was.
To that person JM wrote (in the draft): "oh baby don't you cry, just wanna see your smile..."
These lines, they were too much. Too obvious. Too intimate. And they were left out probably because of just that.
So JM went with other lines. A little less obvious perhaps, and yet still very telling. The finale of the song:
No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)
Now, you could claim that the song is about an inner struggle. JM struggling with himself, talking to himself, and yes, that could very much be part of the message JM, the king of layering, is going for. But see, that's exactly the point. JM is the king of layering, of having several meanings and messages within his lyrics and creations. And this is not different. There is no mistaking the reference to another person, not JM himself, in the lyrics. The way he uses the "you" in the lyrics, at times could pass as you being the alcohol, at times the you being himself in the mirror, but at times it's clearly a third party he is talking to. Especially in that finale to the song, that someone that wants to lift him out of that stupor he is in, to wake him up, to save him, when he is unwilling, not ready to accept that help just yet (same person he asks not to cry, knowing that he is making them sad). There are also the clear JK references in this song. The "you are me I am you" being the loudest of them all.
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But JM being JM, he showed us in his own way what this song was about, opening up and allowing us to see his drafts.
And then he gave us Letter. Hidden, and private and intimate. Addressed not to us, but to that person that was always there by his side, that person he addresses in Like Crazy telling him "forever you and I". Now, in Letter, being in a better, healthier place, he can repeat the sentiment of them together forever. A sentiment JK had mentioned in the past (omg, that was so very awkward).
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And now using lines like : "I sincerely hope we are forever" and "But don’t forget that we’re always together"...
The lyrics, the sentiments, the drafted lyrics that never made it, like the use of "Dangshin", I have talked about it all. Letter was for JK. Period.
When seeing Like Crazy again, the lyrics, the struggle, the person by his side, the intimacy, and Letter, I'm kind of thinking that not only is Letter a love ode to JK. That is stating the obvious. But it's also JM's acknowledgement and thank you to that person that stood by his side in his most difficult of times.
JK.
Bottom line:
Like crazy is about JM struggling and self medicating with alcohol and sex.
It's personal about himself, his struggles, but also includes a person that is there by his side, one he is highly intimate with, one who is there with him together. That person is there, spending the nights with him, in that escape world JM created for himself. Sad seeing JM struggle, trying to find a way to help JM out of that pit but being unable to do so, staying by JM's side all the same.
We know who that person is.
Same person he addresses Letter to.
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rodolfoparras · 4 months
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OK imma be honest and little personal, before I knew a little bit more about the LGBT, I just didn't care I just knew they existed, now that im older and apart of it nothing changed ngl...just maybe a little rude with it. I'm like "Oh you're gay? Cool want a cookie?" Or "Oh, you think being gay is the devils or whoever you claim doing? Want a medal?". I don't mind having people like having something for them but a month? Sounds like robbery 2 me like, What about soldiers like I mean the good soldiers who actually fight for their people? I'm sorry, but if I could, I would make certain... things like these two have at least a week, but like I said, I don't mind it... I just find it... wrong in a way...like think about it...when something big happens in your life (if yall do it like me) we just celebrate it in like that first week, like what I mean is for the first few days it's all "WOOHOO THIS HAPPEND TOO YOU" then the rest of the week it's just "congrats". Like I remember a few years back, I'm not sure if it's still the same now. But soldiers die every day and stuff, and all they get is a day, and everyone like "poor soliders rest in peace" and then go on about their lives after a few bours or something . But the moment a Trans person got killed, suddenly everyone dropped everything and talked about it for weeks....trying not to sound harsh, but come on....
Sugar I think you have a lot of inner work to do
Pride month cannot be boiled down to a celebratory party of sexualities and genders
While yes a major part of pride month is to celebrate lgbtq people it’s also about remembering the journey as to how we got here, plenty of people literally laid their lives down so there could be a celebration in the first place sugar I don’t know if you know this but trans people would literally use bricks and drop it onto their genitals or their chest to get rid of those parts, a lot of trans people died of cancer and other terminal illnesses because it was considered shameful to treat an openly trans person no matter what severe condition they had it’s also to raise awareness of how lgbtq people of color made a lot of things possible for us, did you know that before colonization native people had woman man and then a third gender that didn’t fall in either category white, Christian cis people wiped that out because it was considered abnormal and now today we have a whole chunk of people who are seen as abnormal because that whole gender identity has been wiped out pride month is to also raise awareness to everyone who can’t live their lives like they want to. It’s like international women’s day just because women in Europe have it good doesn’t mean that it’s fine and dandy all around the world
The reason as to why people don’t care much for soldiers is that the only ones discussed are American ones- soldiers belonging to armys who have more or less started the war in different places. Never have I seen people discuss the 10.000 soldiers that died in the srebrenica genocide - soldiers- boys 18 year old boys 10.000 of them- that had to forcefully enlist in the army because their country was going through a genocide
And the reason as to why trans people get so much coverage once they get killed is the same reason as to why women get so much coverage when they get horrifically murdered by a man they’re oppressed, soldiers are not oppressed soldier more often than not are the oppressors.
With that being said I do hope you take time to actually do research on your history because the reason as to why you can be like “woo I’m gay ok let’s move on with my day” is because of thousands upon thousands upon thousands lgbtq ppl that made sacrifices for you those sacrifices didn’t happen that long ago
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months
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Something that I couldn't put into words but now I can about the Chaggie conflict in "Rosie" and one other reason it hurt: Charlie questioning Vaggie's loyalty. Yes, I know it wasn't because of Vaggie's origin but because of the lie itself but still hurts and clearly hurt Vaggie - she has been nothing but loyal and honest in Charlie's dream and has only ever done 1 lie in all of that. And when it's revealed, Charlie is now questioning everything - Again, I understand but it still hurts. And I know this might be redundant, I WANT this moment to come back again in S2. I don't know how but I want Vaggie to admit how angry/hurt it made her that Charlie questioned the loyalty she has given without asking for anything. What do you think?
i don't think Vaggie was even slightly angry with Charlie until her girlfriend made a magically binding pact with an unrepentant serial killer the second Vaggie wasn't looking XD
......we're asking a bit much by expecting the woman who hates and judges herself over her own mass murderer past... to then be upset that her girlfriend was also hurt and angry about that and reacted badly to randomly having all that dropped out of the clear blue sky in the middle of an already terrible day...
so in that ep got the vibe Vaggie spent the entire time feeling sick and guilty over the whole thing tbh. As usual
(and her feeling very very not good about seeing Alastor getting all creepy mentor with a Charlie who just got a wedge driven between her and her main emotional support- im 100% sure Vaggie's "Charlie can we talk-?" following Alastor's "good girl" thing was her wanting to know EXACTLY what deal her gf just made with Alastor and what the hell she was thinking and charlie are you sure Vaggie can't just stab him a little as a warning-)
But Vaggie, she's also not really uh. Not got a good track record of wanting or letting Charlie know about her feeling bad about stuff, emotions wise. Even when Charlie is right next to her reaching out. That's not her thing???
ah what the hell tangent time
like one big reason Vaggie DIDN'T fess up her past to Charlie was her being scared Charlie would be hurt by it and actually hate her for having done that, because Vaggie is being hurt by her past and hates herself for having it (re: every time she's called angels like herself deranged), so even though the blackmail against her made NO real sense and Adam's threat was just him not understanding that someone (charlie) could ACTUALLY believe in redemption for LITERALLY anyone (she does), it still pinged Vaggie's fear right in the heart, making the stuff like how Charlie is letting a known serial killer live in the hotel and help out with her and Vaggie's dream go RIGHT out the window-
(to be fair from Vaggie's pov there's probably a BIG difference between ending someone's mortal life on Earth (a la normal sinner seral killers) and presumably destroying their entire soul forever (re: exorcists) so like, that's kinda fair, but it still doesn't include how Charlie is WILLING TO WORK WITH AND THINK THE BEST OF HEAVEN AND THE EXORCISTS ANYWAY which is WHY she thought going to heaven to talk with them could work in the first place)
(to be extra fair it doesn't MATTER how much Vaggie trusts Charlie bc Vaggie had body parts ripped off and her eye permanently gouged out and was abandoned in hell by someone ELSE she use to trust once and THAT means really trusting people not to hate or abandon her is gonna take her putting some more blame on Adam and Lute and co and less on herself, because as long as she focuses on what SHE did (murderer) to make all this happen TO herself (filth like you doesn't deserve-) she's never gonna fully get that what happened to her was a choice shit people made (let's exterminate ppl for fun! let's rip off our comrade's wings and eye without hesitation!!!), one they didn't have to make, one she didn't make for them- meaning non-shit people like Charlie probably won't do that to her, actually, bc people like Charlie will care about Vaggie as a person outside of her being useful or being exactly what is wanted. Like how Charlie was more worried about Vaggie at the end of ep 3 than anything else and wouldn't let Vaggie blame herself and was fine with things being hard as long as she and Vaggie could face them together. Like how Charlie was calmed in the More Than Anything reprise not by Vaggie promising to fix everything but by Vaggie saying Charlie is important and wonderful to HER)
if anything Vaggie might be upset if she found out Charlie had less of a problem with the Exorcist thing than with the lying thing
If you (Vaggie) think you still need to EARN redemption, then having someone say your sins don't bother them so much can ironically make you panic and either think they're lying to you OR it can make you worry you've downplayed what you've done and are somehow tricking the person you love into believing you're a better person than you actually are and therefor might be taking advantage of them, which of course you don't want to do because you love them, which is a pretty big contradiction you probably won't notice is there
Sooooo i could see Vaggie spiraling into something like THAT but,
her be angry at Charlie for being upset over the thing Vaggie hates about herself? the mental health levels aren't good enough for that one yet XD
basically both Vaggie and Charlie got to live through the very fun experience of being trapped in your own head and trauma
anyway, the fact that Charlie didn't ask or want or LET Vaggie do an apology for any of that at the hotel gates says more than enough for me, for both of them. Just like with Vaggie putting her own fear and self-loathing onto Charlie, most of Charlie's pain in that ep didn't come from Vaggie's past or Vaggie's lie.
I've said Charlie's bad at figuring out what she's feeling and ep 7 is where it really bit her in the ass- she got hit with an identity crisis (turns out the one person who always believes in her didn't trust her enough to tell her this) (this on top of the epic fail of their shared dream to save sinners from extermination and the looming destruction of the hotel that represents that dream) and trauma trigger (what if Vaggie lied about all of that too, what if she never really loved or had faith in Charlie, what if Charlie is going to be alone again) without understanding that's what was going on or that it was something coming from herself as much as from Vaggie.
Being away from Vaggie didn't reduce Charlie's stress during that ep, it made it worse, until Rosie had to yoink her in for an emergency counseling session. Before that Charlie vents about how she told Vaggie everything and shared everything with her (the exorcist thing gets a TINY throwaway mention it is NOT the focus here) and when you add the lie revelation to how Vaggie asked to be alone on the roof in ep 3 instead of letting Charlie be there for her, it stops being about ONE lie TO Charlie, and turns into YEARS of lies ABOUT Charlie's place in Vaggie's life.
Which was terrifying and painful and... went away the MOMENT Charlie realized Vaggie did actual love her and believe in her, and was not actually going to leave her.
If actions mean more than words then their reunion at the hotel gates is them both saying the only thing either of them want to hear- I missed you, i love you, i want to be with you. Here's this horrible souvenir i picked up for your while we were on opposite sides of town and thanks babe im gonna fling myself into your open arms about it.
Vaggie hates herself too much to feel like Charlie owes her an apology for being hurt and angry at the Exorcist lie. It was a pretty big thing to keep hidden
i mean murder aside, Charlie had no idea Vaggie's opinions and advice about heaven was from personal experience, she probably assumed it was just normal sinner bias against the people who kill sinners and not, you know, Vaggie secretly dissing on how terrible her former boss and co-workers used to be. Maybe Charlie would've approached the talking to heaven differently if she'd known. Maybe she would've tried strangling Lute's hologram in ep 1. we will sadly never know
we DO know that Vaggie ran to hug Charlie right after the secret was revealed, which means Vaggie was mainly worried about Charlie being hurt by it, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for Vaggie to be upset at Charlie when Charlie does turn out to be hurt by it
so Vaggie wanting an apology from Charlie? I see her more wanting a very, very, VERY long hug
but if Charlie ever tries giving an apology anyway (a la the balcony scene in ep 3), that might just freak Vaggie out and fuck her up with "oh no my gf doesn't understand how bad the things i've done are am i tricking her am i using her would she be better off without me" issues for the foreseeable future ^w^;
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libertatias · 2 months
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hello, i am here to ask you about your clown yaoi hcs <3
a lot of these are based on an rp i did with a buddy of mine but here are some of my faves:
shanks has a box of letters he's never sent because buggy never answered his first one and shanks doesn't want to be a bother :(
(they're both idiots because buggy absolutely read it and wrote a reply but then ripped it up bc no!! he won't let shanks get the better of him!!)
toki taught them how to dance while they were on the oro jackson and after they finally get together post-timeskip, one of the first things they do is dance together the way toki taught them
buggy is immune to and from shanks' haki and always thought this was normal bc they were practically inseparable as kids so why tf would he be scared of shanks (it is not normal. no one can explain it)
(they swore a literal blood oath when they were like 10 that they would always be there for each other. shanks' haki recognizes a piece of itself in buggy. neither one of them is aware of this)
this also means shanks has never been able to sense buggy with observation haki, which absolutely terrified him when he first awakened it as a kid because he could feel everyone and everything too much too loud but not buggy, why couldn't he feel buggy
shanks' observation awakening also happened during the whole shiki shitshow at edd war so not only was there a HUGE STORM and buggy possibly drowning to worry about but so much death and anger and fear and he couldn't sense buggy in any of it
roger had to separate these wet kittens bc shanks was having a mild mental breakdown and buggy was not helping bc buggy has never understood the whole haki thing and shanks was so afraid buggy didn't feel anything about him bc buggy was the only quiet part of the storm but buggy was also safe and it was just a mess and a half until shanks' brain stopped exploding
so much of their miscommunication stems from the fact that shanks is absolutely garbage at reading buggy (and he can't even cheat with haki) and the fact that buggy always assumes shanks means something he doesn't (king of catastrophizing everything shanks says) — especially when he does actually know what shanks meant and can't deal with shanks being so brutally honest
eventually, once they're more established as an Actual Couple (or something close to it) they sort of stumble their way into experimenting with buggy's devil fruit power which results in what i like to call armsharing
buggy lets shanks borrow his arm and through a combination of like deliberately giving his will over to shanks and inexplicable haki nonsense (the intimacy of literally giving a piece of yourself to another person wholly and freely), shanks is able to control the arm, but buggy can still feel it as an extension of his body
while shanks is in control of the arm, he can also use haki on it (like hardening or what have you), but for the first time buggy can also feel shanks' haki (which feels so much like roger buggy almost loses it) and shanks, for the first time, can sense buggy's feelings
he still can't see buggy's aura tho bc it is, in fact, too enormous to be seen by looking directly at it but is radiating every feeling he's ever felt about shanks at full capacity
the first time they armshare shanks cries bc it's like he's seeing buggy for the first time with his eyes wide open and he can finally finally feel the immensely overwhelming love pouring off buggy in waves (that he always wanted to believe was there but never knew for sure)
it only works when shanks is borrowing the arm tho so as soon as buggy takes it back, haki immunity is reinstated :(
they get married post-canon and fuck off to live on a houseboat together until they have a kid and shanks panics bc he can't live at sea with two drowning risks who are also THEE most important ppl in his life
so they move back to karai bari and establish a real town there that isn't just circus tents and it's very cute and domestic but also mildly annoying for shanks bc croc and mihawk just never left and now croc is mayor i guess bc no one else wanted the job
their kid is named giacomo who they call their little jackpot or just jack for short
jack grows up and wants to be just like his dads and granddads and eventually apprentices in shipbuilding so he can build his own ship in homage to the oro jackson that he calls the oro jackpot
shanks and buggy and the rest of roger's surviving crew all have small pieces of the oro jackson that they've held onto all this time and they donate these pieces to the oro jackpot so roger will live on in that ship too
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oranjeleeuw · 2 months
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hows the pacific rim au going ???? its such a neat idea and i need ppl to draw concept art for it
DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU MY FRIEND
First of all, life happened and happened for good, I couldn't write much before but Now. NOW is the time.
I planned and plotted a lot during the whole year I first came up with the idea and I have a kind of strong base for the AU. I also have a brilliant beta by my side, my dear friend Frog (@faramircaptainofgender), so hopefully during this summer this idea will be shared with you all outside our little friend group.
I'll take this opportunity and shamelessly turn my answer into a main post for the AU.
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the title:
Human within the Machine
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[brief synopsis]
The Nations of the world developed a simulation where future Jaeger pilots can practice for in-action cases. Max Verstappen outshines every other contestants in the history of drifting, there's only one problem - he's no team player.
Charles Leclerc is determined to stop the Kaijus and end their reign, once and for all. He lost his parents due to kaiju attacks, now he feels responsible not only to avenge their deaths, but to bring a brighter future to his brothers.
Jaeger engineering is living its golden age, there is money in it and many enthusiastic contestants who are not entirely aware of the horror that awaits them out at the ocean.
[disclaimer]
There’s no main plot (as in: I am not planning on detailed world-building neither to save the world from kaijus, I am smaller than that), the endgame is to get Max into an active combat where he drifts with Charles and they’re in the Il Predestinato (the legendary Jaeger that has been out of service for a decade, waiting for the right co-pilots). Everything before and in between are just themes I desire to explore within the possibilities of this AU.
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I have a playlist that helps me to stay inspired, songs are not in order yet though, but as I said earlier, chapters are meant to be kind-of standalone scenes, existing in their own moods and settings.
Each chapter will have its own chosen background music linked to them. I also added many symphonic songs just to get in the mood for some combat scenes.
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[good to know]
Roles: In the case of HwtM we have active and passive characters in this story. Due to the fact that many scenes are set in drift-memories, where not everything is factual and we are in the mix of memories and feelings, some characters will only appear and speak through these moments. Therefore they fall into the passive category - they are the legends. I will talk about them in their own post but the gist of it is what I wrote above, they cannot speak for themselves so we will only see them through tilted lenses: idolised, villanised, or the mix of both.
Which also means another thing - everyone is an unreliable narrator.
Teams and Jaegers: Since this is the golden age of Jaeger engineering, we will have many-many Jaegers. So far I named only a few, but to stay true to the source material, I'm trying to make them just as cheesy yet compelling as the ones were in the movies. The constructor teams from real life are not so different from what they represent in HwtM, but I altered some of their names to fit more into the world (older names or older sounding names of some teams since the future that Pacific Rim has is basically our present. I was aiming for some retro-vibe).
Here, they are different detachments under the Pan Pacific Defense Corps, in the Jaeger Academy division. I’m planning on working with Merc, Ferrari, McLaren, Williams and of course Redbull.
Mercedes is called Benz
Ferrari is called Alfa Romeo
Red Bull is Toro Rosso
The other two stay under the same name.
Ships to look out for: it is a Lestappen-centered story (if I am really honest with you, it’s Max-centered first of all) but on the side-lines we will look into some depths of Carlando, Galex and Maxiel in…some way. Please-please keep in mind, that these won’t be fully developed romantic relationships in the fic, I’m reporting from the minds and souls of these boys, objectively perceived scenes between them will be rare and much more comrade-like.
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That is all I planned to share for starters. Feel free to ask about the process or anything really, that is related to this project, it’s my beloved child and can’t wait to share it all with others!
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plumslices · 22 days
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thoughts on ok__fine and the tiktok/ig fine jewelry scene?
Shes requsted me on ig probably from being mutuals w a specific jewelry person lol but im neutral about it like most things there’s good and bad and annoying in any community. Ive been hungry for jewelry content for almost 10 years lol and youtube was first place i started consuming it. then ig started to grow and theres wealthy collectors with insane collections and the way the ig community has blown up is bonkers actual famous ppl are in the internet jewelry niche based on who they shop from or at least their stylists or shoppers are 🤨. theres tiers to it like any community especially one thats so centered around money. Theres never ending stuff theres never ending sellers.
But about tiktok theres some good content and creators especially for beginners and enthusiasts alike theres makers and everything. But like any community there’s people who know very little but know the right words to say to trick people into thinking they know more than they do. I saw a girl say i worked in fine jewelry for a year here’s what you need to know and then recommended mejuri LOL.
BUT It’s really amazing i love this world so much i love the art, history, and craftspeople. how its a part of so many lives and every culture but its like any other very old industry in the way it’s a reflection of the current climate and whats happening culturally there will always be an upper echelon, consequences and exploitation you will never understand until you’re taught them
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acidichcl · 7 months
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My babies
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Was playing around a lil with how i draw them
Anyways, im bored so below is just me rambling about my tmnt fan iteration
If ur gonna read it, be warned, it’s long 💀 i tend to yap alot. I’ll make a clearer post once i figure everything out lmao
I guess i’ll start by explaining the background of it all
Baxter stockman found a crystal near an alien crash site and he found it super pretty, he wanted to give it to april’s mom, who he fancied. At the time, he didnt think much of it. He just thought it was a regular pretty crystal that was probably formed because of the crash impact or something.
(Little comic about this) As baxter gives the crystal necklace to april for her to give to her mom, april ends up giving it to Leo instead because april doesnt like her mom and refuses to give any gifts to her. Leo wears the crystal necklace in gratitude for April and on that night, leo had something happen to him. It’s like something from the necklace is taking over his body. That something is basically the crystal’s energy getting embedded to his body, this includes a hologram being (like an AI i guess) that is part of that crystal
This hologram being is what u call a Chronix. Chronixes are blue hologram AI beings that usually take a dragon-like form. Chronix doesnt immediately show itself to Leo, as just like any other virtual assistant, it only shows up when needed. When the crystal’s energy was embedded to Leo, he just thought that it was somehow Donnie’s mischievous doing. Maybe he was experimenting with things and Leo got caught in the way. Leo quickly dismissed it and went on with his day after Donnie gives Leo a device that would help tame the energy surge.
One day, a bunch of utroms have been spotted roaming around the town. While April was still sleeping, an utrom managed to get into april’s place through an open window and climbed onto leo, causing him to freak out and accidentally spawn a holographic whip that would break April’s shelf of her beloved figurines. Leo begged Donnie to fix everything and he also tells Donnie that the device he gave isnt working. Donnie agreed to fix the issues and he tells Raph to distract April, and Mikey to help clean up the mess a bit. While Donnie is fixing up his device, Leo is sitting alone in his room, wondering what actually is happening to him.
Prompted by Leo’s question about what’s happening, Chronix appears and tells him that the energy surges he’s getting are because he’s not used to it yet. His body is not trained enough to be a container for the energy nor to gain better control of what he spawns. Chronix explains further about what it is and where it came from: The utroms have a very advanced living condition and what keeps their conditions alive is a sun crystal that powers everything in their planet. It is linked to everything there and it casts virtual assistants to serve the utroms. As they were fleeing their planet that’s about to be taken over by shredder, the utroms took the big crystal with them as its huge energy source is believed to be able to form a new world and Shredder will have his own loyal army. When the utroms fled with the crystal, they crashed to earth, causing the crystal to shatter to multiple pieces. Those who came to check out the crash site notice these crystal fragments and take them, either its for collection, or for profit purposes, or for research, whatever. Ppl just like shiny things. The utroms are trying to gather all the pieces to form the crystal whole again to restore their home planet, while shredder, and other alien invaders, are also actively trying to seek out for this crystal for power.
As Leo is one of those who is in possession of the crystal, he is now a target, hence why an utrom climbed up onto him that morning. Now knowing that he’s not supposed to be in possession of the crystal, he tries to take off the necklace but he is now bonded with the crystal so he physically can’t take it off. The crystals dont have the same effects on other living things tho. I'll tell why eventually in future posts.
To avoid any more accidents, he asks for chronix’s guidance on how to make his body stronger to contain and be more in control. Chronix tells him that he just needs to train n stuff. For better guidance, he tells his brothers. And then april, who then mentions that there’s a dojo nearby and thats where they meet casey jones and his grandpa who owns a pet rat, Splinter, who shortly gets in contact with an utrom and gets mutated. Also the grandpa’s pretty old so he passes away not very long after. Casey is still too young to continue his legacy, but splinter is now an old wise rat who knows of the grandpa’s techniques. So splinter takes the sensei role to initially train only leo and casey, but the other turtles and april also wanted to join in just to have something to do
Yeah
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Astro boy reboot, oh boy
So news of the new Astro boy reboot series broke out like WILD FIRE and as I predicted the fandom that has been waiting so long for it is very worried of how it'll turn out
But honestly
I'm actually quite hyped for it.
They removed the Miraculous creator from working on it which is a great start in my book THANK THE HEAVENS. Secondly I don't mind Astro having a girl he has feelings for at 9 as that happened in the 80s version and it was genuinely very sweet (ya know until she was found out to be a bomb and the two had to heartbreakingly seperate by her needing to be taken apart which destroyed the fandom's hearts). And he had plenty of crushes over the years so I'm not phased by it.
The only thing I hope for is that they don't make her human, because the problem with a robot child being together with a normal human child is the fact that she can age and he can't as he is permanently stuck with the mind and body of a 9 year old, so OOOO THAT RELATIONSHIP WILL BE *BAD* IN THE LONG RUN IF THEY MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP A PERMANENT THING AND NOT TEMPORARY.
Now to talk about some other things, I am actually really excited for the plot. It's a very slept on plot on the idea that Astro has to keep his robot identity secret from others to blend in as human and sometimes not even discovering he is a robot himself till later as usually unless told or shown otherwise Astro is mistaken to be a normal human child. That idea of self discovery and finding about who you are, who can from, and who you decide to be is a core trait for Astro and I find the plot as a cool way to show that.
And speaking of which, the elephant in the room. Tobio. By the looks of the plot it makes it known that Astro is gonna have the hero name be Astro when he is fighting and will most likely be called Atom by others AND I HOPE I PRAY TEZUKA GOD OF MANGA YOU BETTER HELP HERE I HOPE that they actually keep in and address the fact that Astro/robot Tobio is a robotic replacement by a father gone mad of his 9 year old dying in a tragic car accident as it's a CORE part of his character. The implication that robot Tobio has been living as a replacement in this series and is discovering himself and who he truly is by becoming Astro would be SO COOL
Lastly, the cgi, ima be honest it looks pretty decent. I like the way it looks as we could've gotten something so much worse if it was animated like Miraculous believe me. It looks bright, cartoony and colorful which ppl associate with it causing stir for it being aimed towards kids but the original Astro boy was also aimed towards kids in that same goofy cartoon style. What made it memorable was the story, the meaning, how a goofy and silly looking manga who could hold such darkness and truth and bringing to light deep societal and human issues while dealing with the inner turmoil of a boy trying to find out who he truly is beyond what he was made for. That he isn't a replacement, that he isn't just a robot. So as long as they are able or atleast TRY to hit that mark, then that's what matters to me more than the style.
In conclusion, it's just the pitch idea mind you, just a summed up concept. Everything is subject to be changed and tweaked as things get made and processed. For all we know it could end up being something completely different. The fandom has a reason to be on edge but we should be atleast a bit more open minded towards it until we see it in action it might not be another 2003 but it's definetly no 2009. And as for the ones working on it with both Tezuka productions and the fandom holding them at gunpoint over a series we've waited nearly a decade for, that better encourage them to give out one hell of a series.
Also Tenma and Oshan better be the same divorced science dads we all know and love or I swear to god-
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sugakookie127 · 4 months
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GUYS I MANIFESTED MY PHONE BACK😭😭😭
I had forgotten my phone on the PUBLIC bus before school and we had an Ap exam that day. When I realized I forgot my phone, my heart sank and I freaked out for like 5 mins but then I reminded myself that I am God and nothing is above me. I just had to keep going no matter what bcs I had an important test that NO ONE could b late to. I continued to remind myself who I am and Continued to be my desired self. I affirmed that everything works my way and that nothing bad happened to my phone. I got like 4 or 5 ppl to call the community service and to let them know I forgot my phone. Even let my mom know that I forgot my phone but while embodying my desired self, I remained calm and my mom responded almost how she would in my desired life. My god mom brung me my phone when I got home from school yesterday and I’ve just been living in the end these days. I’ve been referring to my imagination a lot more and I’m going to continue to do so!
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