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billthedrake · 2 years

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MY SON'S PORN LIFE

It was just porn, I rationalized, and I'm a man with a more than healthy libido. Married with three kids, I have a decent sex life with my wife, especially considering that we've been married for 25 years now.

But I like to jerk off, too, and since I turned 50, my bi side had been rearing itself more. A while back I went through a phase of lining up no-strings BJs from guys on the side. I'd put that behind me, but I still got off on the fantasy of fucking a guy or having him suck me. 8 times out of 10, when I was looking for stroke fodder, I'd pull up a gay porn video.

Then came the fateful day. I didn't even know what I was looking at first. I was just browsing one of those free video sites and saw a thumbnail of two hot bodies with a tag like "Hot Jocks Fuck After Practice." Unlike with women, I don't even know that I have a type when it comes to guys, but these dudes looked hot... muscular and young 20s, smooth bodied. They're probably everyone's type.

I clicked, and my heart sank.

It started out PG-rated, with two jockish guys sitting on a couch, one with his arm draped over the other's shoulder as the cameraman asked them questions and the guys talking about being excited for the scene that was about to happen.

One of the young men, the blond hunk with his arm draped over the beefier dark-haired guy, was my son Travis.

Holy fuck. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't believe it at first. My oldest kid - and only son - was doing gay porn. I listened to another half minute of the pre-sex interview and watched as Travis turned to the dark-haired dude, with a playful lust in his blue eyes and said, "Yeah, Sam has an amazing ass." He turned back to the camera with a grin and added, "Like, big fucking meaty cakes..."

"Ha," the cameraman laughed. "You ready to do this then?"

"Hell yeah," the dark haired guy replied.

I closed the browser, hyperventilating.

My Trav. Good kid, great student, played football at the expensive college we sent him to. I didn't know how long he'd been doing porn, or if this was a one-off. I wondered if he had any troubles, financial difficulties, drugs, gambling, whatever, that led him to do this. I wondered if I should tell his mother.

But I paused, staring at now blank screen. Maybe Travis was doing this for money, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. Sure there was playing along, but you can only fake so much.

And I knew Kate would freak out. She wasn't judgmental, but this was something else. Besides, she was the worrying sort of mother. That's why I loved her, that's why she was such a wonderful parent. But this would break her heart. I'd be keeping this to myself.

***

It was mid-afternoon in the office when Kate called. "Brad, you still able to make Caitlin's game today?" Our middle daughter Courtney was in college now, and Caitlin was now a senior in high school, which meant these soccer games would soon be a thing of the past.

I didn't mind, really. I had a sales job that could be crazy busy and required a lot of travel but days like that day I had some flexibility. And I loved my girls and enjoyed being the supportive dad. There were a few soccer parents who regularly showed up and we all kind of bonded. And the girls' team was really good that year. It was fun.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Great," my wife said. "I should be able to catch the last half, and maybe we can get dinner out. I have book club tonight," she reminded me.

We wrapped our conversation and I checked the clock. 2:30. I put in another hour of work, then cut out early.

I knew I'd be on my own for taking care of my orgasm that evening, so I went home first. I had enough time for a nice, leisurely stroke and looked forward to enjoying it.

As I got to my bedroom and kicked off my shoes, though, a thought hit me. A curiosity, sure, but also a horniness.

I wanted to watch my son Travis fuck a guy.

I was shaking a little as I searched again for that video. But I wasn't as hesitant as I should have been. It took me a few seconds to find it. That familiar thumbnail. My heart beat. I pressed play.

I listened to the introductory banter. The flirtiness between the two guys, putting on their dumb-jock act. Then the cameraman prodding, "You ready to do this then?"

I was rock hard. My son kissed dark haired guy. Trav looked like a smooth operator, snaking his tongue between the other guy's lips and making out, softly at first, then with more lust.

Their hands now removed their tank tops. Dark haired guy was real muscular, like a total gym body. Still had his baby fat, which made his bulk hotter somehow. I watched Trav feel him up, and I had to unzip.

Travis was the real star, though. Ripped, waxed smooth, tanned muscle contrasting with his adorable boy next door looks. My eyes were riveted to him, drawn as much as the dark haired guy's hands, which were now pawing at Travis's bare chest and abs, and then moving down...

I let out a groan when that hand cupped Travis's crotch. This was the moment of truth. Was I going to watch more?

I couldn't stop it, or take my eyes away. Trav got a playful look on his face and undid his shorts, making his abs crunch as he lifted his hips to slide them off.

There it was. My son's cock. His erection, long and thick, very much like my own. I never thought of myself as having a porn star cock, but I knew I was hung, and now I had a son who literally had a porn star dick.

I felt the excitement over take me as I stroked my own prick and jets of semen shot out. Uncontrollably. A crazy orgasm that had my head flushed and pounding from the taboo excitement.

I shut the video and the computer. And I quickly cleaned my mess.

Fuck.

***

Yeah, I felt like a heel. But I'd gotten off big time, and I knew I would again.

By now I had a good lead. Trav went by the name of "Brent" and was a Sean Cody model. Turns out this wasn't his only, or even his first video.

I found the others. Each one was better than the last. Travis was the jock-next-door type who played it up for the camera. His MO seemed to be to start off slow and romantic with a guy and work up to really pounding the bottom's ass with long, hard strokes. More than one came hands free from it. I just about did, even watching.

I watched them all, savoring them one by one until I was able to make it to the end of each. Then I watched them repeatedly, too much. I thought the guilt would kick in and I'd come to my senses, but I never did. I thought the novelty of the forbidden fruit would wear off, but I came buckets watching Travis fuck guys. Every single time.

I dug around more. From the comments on blogs, it seemed that "Brent" was a fan favorite. There was some bitching from guys that Sean Cody didn't have stars like Travis any more, that they'd gone downhill over the last year.

That hit me for some reason. I mean, I was glad that porn was just a temporary thing for my son. Logically, I would have been happier if it hadn't been a thing at all for him. But fuck, I wanted to see more. I loved watching my son. It was like spying on him, letting me be a voyeur into his sex life. And, hands down, Travis was just a stud.

I initially felt a burst of shame when I saw my wife or daughters after I stroked off. But they didn't know. I was still a good father, though if Travis knew I wouldn't blame him for having another opinion of me.

When Travis came home for Christmas, it hit me. The awkwardness, the weight of the secret. He thought I was just stressed from work or something, I guess. We ended up having a good visit with him. But he seemed like he had something on his mind.

The last day, he gathered us around the table. He was nervous as hell, but he came right out with. "I've got something to tell you guys... I'm gay."

Caitlin and Courtney immediately got out of their chairs and went to hug their big brother. I never was prouder of them.

I wondered if Kate had any inclination, but I could tell then that she was surprised. She was supporting as always though. Not touchy feely like our daughter, but more communicative.

It was my turn. "We love you son. And I'm proud as hell of ya." I was getting a little teary but tried to be the stoic Dad. I think Travis appreciated both.

***

Life moved forward. Caitlin graduated from high school and was getting ready to head out East for college. Courtney was applying to med schools. Kate and I were starting to talk seriously about retirement and making plans for a future now that the kids were flying the coop.

Travis was now 25, out of college and living in Chicago. He worked as a personal trainer and just enjoyed being a young guy in the big city. He was probably enjoying dating and the gay scene, but I didn't know the details. But I had a sales visit in Chicago pretty often and I'd always book an extra night to have some quality time with my son.

It was nice to have a break from the "Brent" videos. Maybe it was the increased sex with Kate, a kind of second honeymoon, but I was watching way less porn. And while I visited Travis's videos from time to time, I wasn't as obsessed with them.

Until I saw a new one. An OnlyFans one shot in a hotel room. Only he was no longer "Brent" but "JakeTheJock." But it was the same hunky Travis, he'd even put on a little more muscle. And the same fuck technique... romantic making out, some swapped BJs or 69 for foreplay. Rimming his bottom, then going to pound town on him bareback.

It was like a junkie mainlining after getting out of rehab. I knew I shouldn't be watching, but there was just an incredible rush, a high even. I had gotten to where I regularly busted twice in a session watching Travis fuck, but this had me getting off three times.

It took some creativity but I found a way to subscribe to Trav's OnlyFans without any telltale signs on my credit card statement. With regularity, I found time to get off to watching my very hunky son have sex. The guilt hadn't gone completely away, but I'd gotten real good and compartmentalizing it. The weird thing is for as much as I watched my son's porn videos, I didn't have any specific fantasies involving me and him. It was just an immediate lust, combined with the thrill of taboo and the voyeurism of almost spying on him. Seeing his secret life.

At first I missed the relative professionalism of the Sean Cody vids, but Travis's OnlyFans offered the advantage of quantity. Every week, I got to watch Travis with another guy. Or a repeat session with one of the other OF "stars." He was branching out beyond jock types like him and doing other men. Some older, some beefier, some hairy. I loved watching it all. A couch BJ in a New York apartment, or shower sex in some London hotel. I was following up on my son's travel through his porn page.

***

It was hard to look at my son the same way again. I loved him and respected him as a normal proud parent, but when I visited him, in the back of my head all I could think of was Travis's toned muscle, his big thick dick and the size of his cum loads oozing out of some muscle dude's ass.

For what it was worth, my son SEEMED happier now, enjoying his life and his day job and filling me in a little on his dating life when I came to visit.

"Maybe I'm not ready to settle down," he admitted with a grin as we had dinner in some downtown restaurant that Travis had picked a change of pace from the expense account steakhouses I took prospects on my sales call.

God help me I found my son so attractive at that moment. The dim light of the restaurant bringing out his blond hair and blue eyes and his dimples and perfect teeth. I actually threw hard in my suit trousers under the tablecloth.

I was fucked up, I knew, but the next day I requested to be put more regularly on the Midwest territory at work. I passed it off as seniority and wanting some closer travel, but really I just wanted to be in Chicago more.

***

The next video my life changed. It was a Tuesday after my Chicago visit and I'd cut out of work a little early to have some time with a new video that was planned to drop. I still had no idea how far in advance Travis shot these. Maybe it was made right after my visit or weeks before.

I just knew something was different about this one. Travis had been paired with some older men before, mostly fitness buff types and muscle guys. But this one with by the handle "CornfedDaddy" and he looked a little like Travis - blond and blue eyed, that Scandinavian-German stock giving him some real height and bulk. He looked even more like me. Middle aged, fit but more normal looking than a normal porn star. I wondered how Travis's fan subscribers would react but seeing Travis making out with this dude got me hard as fuck.

I knew it was because I imagined myself in CornfedDaddy's place, and Travis actively attracted to me.

And that attraction was real. Travis wasn't faking the intensity of that kiss or the excitement in feeling up that 40-something bulk. My hunky son seemed almost dreamy voice as he growled, "Ready to show the guys something new, Daddy?"

That very word almost had me coming.

The man was like one of my goddamn work colleagues, or the married men you'd see around Kansas City. And he talked like a suburban guy, too. "Fuck yes," he answered with a happy laugh.

Travis's strong hand massaged the man's boner through his shorts, then pushed the hem down. CornfedDaddy might not have had a porn star body, but that dick was big, bigger than Travis's.

I watched as my son leaned over and started sucking on that giant hog.

I came, my first cum, shooting hard into my fist. I had to let go to cool off and stop the video a second. I wiped off the excess cum and tossed the kleenex in the trash. This was gonna be an epic stroke session.

I took a look around and checked my phone. Coast was going to be clear for a while. I resumed watching.

I'd seen Travis suck a dick before, but this felt more purposeful and certainly more of a challenge than the other bottoms he'd been with. But like before, he pulled off and leaned back on the couch, ready for his turn at being serviced. He pulled down his shorts and I saw my son's beautiful dick. I was proud I'd created a man that amazing.

CornfedDaddy got a big grin and scooted down onto his knees, between Travis's legs. I loved watching guys suck my son. Occasionally Travis would post oral only videos of some guy blowing him and swallowing his load. I don't know that I preferred those to the fucking but they were amazing in their own different way.

But Cornfed Daddy had a different kind of swagger to his dad-next-door expression. "Lift em up, son," he urged. And Travis did, pulling those thick, knotted thighs up and back to his chest.

The Daddy dove in, starting to rim Travis with an excited urgency.

"That's it, Daddy, eat my hole!" my son cried.

I shot the second time.

I was hyperventilating now. It took me a second to get the energy to pause the video. Daddy was just pulling out.

I looked down at my load. Not as heavy as the first, but jesus it was heavier than it had a right to be. I was grateful now that I hadn't chickened out or let my guilt stop me from subscribing to Travis's videos.

I took more of a break this time. I got some water and checked some work emails. I knew I wanted another cum, but i was in my 50s. I'd need some recovery time.

Finally, I was ready. I already knew this would be a video I'd savor for many sessions. I resumed it and wondered it was going to go where I dreamed it might.

It did. Cornfed grabbed some lube and slicked up his cock before lining it up with my sons hole, teasing it some.

"First time on camera, right?" he asked Travis.

My son's adorable smile showed as he nodded. "Fuck yeah. Figure it was time for those guys to watch me get fucked."

Cornfed gave him a quick kiss then leaned up and hissed. "Let's show them, then."

And like that I was watching another man penetrate my stud son's hot ass.

I held off stroking and just let my cock ache in hardness as I watched. I knew instinctively this was not Travis's first cock. But the virginity idea hit me deep, and the men on screen were playing it up.

Travis leaned back and stroked his big dick and came hard, shooting ropes on his ripped torso.

Cornfed kept fucking, but within a minute he was getting close, too. I watched him approach his nut and started stroking myself, trying to time my third cum with the ejaculation inside my son. It was pretty close. Watching that Daddy orgasm and hearing his grunt sent me firing.

By now, I was feeling spent and overstimulated. I had to shut the video and focus on something besides what I saw.

****

I had a Chicago sales call the following week. I gave Travis some space, telling him I'd be in the city more now and if he had other plans, he shouldn't feel obligated to meet up this time.

"Nonsense, Dad," he said. "I have some evening clients that day but I could meet you after."

I had a business dinner anyway, so I told him I'd come to Boystown for a change, and meet him for a drink around 9:30.

God, he looked like a million bucks, his workout clothes fitting his form well. He had an amazing body on camera, but up close his muscle seemed firmer, bigger. I had a fleeting thought that I should hire him as my personal trainer.

I was tempted to have a normal evening, but it had been weighing on my mind. The need to come clean. Not all of it of course, but halfway through our first drink I dropped the bombshell.

"Trav... I know how to bring this up, but I know about your videos," I said quietly.

I expected a sense of shame or embarrassment, but Travis mostly just seemed surprised. "Did someone tell you?" he asked.

I shook my head, letting out more than maybe I should. "No, I just stumbled on one."

That made my son grin. "So you watched me?" he asked with a gentle laugh.

The fact that my son didn't seem put off by me watching him made my heart pound and my mind go where it shouldn't. But I lied. "No... when I saw it was you...." I didn't know how to explain, maybe because there was no good explanation.

Travis's laid back nature put me at ease some. "I didn't know you were into gay stuff, Dad," he said with an easy smile. I could tell he was happy with that knowledge. Maybe it made him feel less of an outcast in the family or something.

"I guess I have a bi streak when it comes to porn," I admitted. I figured it was the least I could own up to, since I'd practically admitted it already. "But you're not telling your mother," I added with a playful smile of your own.

"Don't worry, Dad," he assured me. "Um, does she know about my porn life."

"No," I said. "No guarantees someone won't tell her, though."

He nodded. "Yeah, I figure. I mean, I'm not ashamed of it, Dad. I enjoy it and it's good money coming in. I'll probably be able to buy a nice condo in a year or so."

I shook my head with a little wince. For as much as I'd perved to my son, a father doesn't like hearing this kid is doing something which may harm him. "I hope you don't mind that I brought it up."

Travis patted my leg. Not flirty, but affectionate. "Nah, it's good you did. I don't like keeping secrets." He took as sip of his drink then continued, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Depends," I said. Nervous for what he was going to ask.

"So, when you came across my vid, you must have been watching some other stuff, right?"

"Yes," I replied softy.

Travis's expression got a little naughty grin. "Like, what kind of stuff?"

"Travis!" I admonished him.

"Come on, Dad," he coaxed me, undaunted. "It's just porn. All guys watch it."

God, there was something so assured and open about my son's embrace of sexuality that had me opening up to him. "There are a couple of guys that I like," I said, naming two of the Only Fans models I'd seen Travis paired with: MusclePupXXX and MrCakes.

I could tell my son was glad I told him. A secret between us, and maybe a bond. "I know those guys," he smiled. "I can hook you up with one if you like."

"Jesus!" I swore. Then gaining my calm, I tried to respond with a quip, "In case you don't remember, I'm a married man."

He shrugged. "It's just sex. I mean, men are pigs right?"

I worried maybe my son was way too jaded and that doing porn hadn't helped him. A scary idea occured to me. "Trav... you're not hustling are you?" I'd been afraid to ask.

Travis sighed. "It's not like that, Dad," he said. I wish he'd come out and said "no." But I got some assurance out his reply. "I like doing porn and that's good enough for me. It helps me build my client base up, too."

"For real?" I asked. For some reason I hadn't thought there would be a benefit to doing those videos.

"Oh yeah," my son explained. "I get so much business from guys who want me as a trainer."

"What? Do you sleep with them?" Then I held my hands up. "You know what? That's none of my business."

"You really wanna know," Travis was challenging me. "I don't charge them for it, but yeah, if they're hot and there's chemistry, then I'll have sex with them. It's fun and I've met a lot of hot guys that way. They're happy, too." He paused and gauged my reaction. "You don't approve, do you?"

I sighed and shook my head. "It's me who's worried about you not approving," I said.

Travis seemed surprised. "For watching gay porn? Dad, that's like the most normal thing ever. Seriously."

Our conversation turned to more normal day-to-day stuff, but when I got back to my hotel, I was glad I'd cleared the air with Travis. I felt like he had a closer bond now.

***

My next trip was a few weeks later. I'd hoped to treat Travis to dinner, but I had a business engagement that kept me till late. I texted my son to see if he was up for meeting me for a drink somewhere. He said sure and I grabbed an Uber to meet him closer to his neighborhood.

He wasn't alone. As I walked into the place, I saw him sitting next to a guy. Shorter, compact muscle that showed through his tight T-shirt. Trimmed beard, cute as fuck. It was MusclePupXXX.

"Hey Dad, I brought my friend Mike along," he explained. I played it cool and shook the guy's hands. The dude's eyes were on me, lecherous but playful at the same time. I was annoyed at Travis but also feeling an ego boost that this stud friend of his would be into me.

The next fifteen minutes was excruciating though. Trying to have a conversation with my son and small talk with this stranger at the same time. Processing my conflicting emotions.

Finally, Mike excused himself to the restroom. Travis had a shit-eating grin.

"Trav, what the fuck?" I growled.

He seemed undaunted. "Come on, Dad. Mike thinks your hot. It's your fantasy on a silver plate. Bang a porn star. No strings, no worries."

"I can't," I complained.

"If you don't wanna, no skin off my back," he said. "Honest, Dad, I'm not trying to piss you off. Just thought you'd enjoy it."

Mike came back, interrupting our conversation. We'd finished the drink, when Travis said he had to go. "I have a 6AM client," he explained, getting up from the bar seat.

Mike looked over at me, trying to read what I was going to do.

"I think I may stay for another," I said, blushing the minute I said it.

Mike didn't miss a beat. "I will too. Later, bro?" he said to Travis, giving him a fist bump then getting up for a gay-dude hug and kiss.

The remainder of the evening went down pretty much as you'd expect. Heavy eye contact then me taking MusclePupXXX back to my hotel room, where I got a real porn star blow job before pulling him off and asking if I could fuck him.

This wasn't some DL Craigslist BJ. This was real, honest to god man-to-man sex, and it ws incredible. I pounded this muscle hunk in multiple positions and he was every bit the power bottom he was on screen. It occurred to me that he was getting the father of another guy who'd fucked him and that was a big part of the turn on for him. The idea got me off, too, and I nutted hard in his hole, collapsing onto his back as I caught my breath.

I thought I'd feel guilty after but that orgasm had put me in a good mood. We showered together, softly making out and exploring each other's soapy wet bodies.

"So, my son didn't pay you for that, did he?" I asked, not accusing in tone, more curious.

Mike grinned and reached down to cup my genitals. "Nah. You're hot, man. You're a good fuck too. You should hit me up next time you're in Chicago."

"So you live here," I said dumbly. For some reason I thought maybe Mike was just visiting from New York or LA.

"Best city on Earth," he nodded proudly. "And Midwestern guys are the hottest."

With that he turned around and backed his meaty ass against my now hard again dick. Yeah, round two sounded amazing.

***

The next time I visited, I fucked MusclePupXXX again. A quickie in the afternoon, before my work dinner. It felt naughty as hell.

He called me Daddy during sex, and I let a "son" or two slip out. That both worked us up big time, and it was clear my relation to Travis was in the back of our minds. It was still in the back of my mind when I met Travis later on for dinner. He didn't ask me about Mike and I wondered if he knew. But he had a knowing look about something.

Summer came, and the work travel slowed. I followed my son on OnlyFans as he went to Barcelona and Fire Island. He was bottoming more now, and he seemed to be with older men more. Daddy types. CornfedDaddy made a regular appearance when he was back in Chicago, and I half wondered if they were dating.

Travis was out of town the next time I went to Chicago for work, but MusclePup Mike was there. I had him over to my hotel after dinner and he stayed over the night. We went at it deep with the dad-son thing. I knew it was wrong, but I was SO turned on doing it. And it thrilled Mike, too. The more I was "Dad" for him the more eagerly he bounced on my cock.

"You're incredible," I said to him the next morning as I brought him a coffee from the hotel lobby. I'd gotten showered and dressed for my morning meeting.

Mike had buzzed-short hair and looked adorable first thing in the morning. "You're not getting feeling for me are you, Mr. Connors?" He'd taken to calling me by my last name. I let him.

I shook my head. "No. Just living out a midlife crisis, I suppose."

That made him break out in a goofy grin. Mike was short, 5'7" or so, and his compact build looked all bulked up with his brawn. "Well, lucky for you that midlife crises are my speciality," he grinned, leaning forward and unzipping my suit trousers.

I set down my coffee and felt the silky soft mouth go down on me. For all our time together, Mike had never sucked me to completion. He was going to now. I gently ran my fingers through his hair as he worked me more eagerly and got me to the finish line. I came hard down his throat and was grateful that that made bottoms as hot as MusclePup Mike.

"That gonna last you today, Daddy?" he asked with a lewd smile.

"It should," I replied, meeting him for a soft kiss and tasting my own cum on his lips.

***

Travis bought his condo. Lakeview, modern, amazing 1 bed room. He was proud and happy and clearly eager to show it off to me. The furnishing was still sparse and Travis talked a mile a minute about his plans for decorating the place and making it feel like home.

He walked me over to the window and described how his view was protected because of the park across the street. I patted his shoulder.

"It's an amazing place, son," I said. "You did well."

Travis kind of leaned into me some, and I saw a look in his eye. Gone was the confident assured porn star. There was my son, questioning me. I knew then that Mike had told him stuff. And I knew what was on Travis's mind.

"You know," I said. "I lied to you before. I've watched your videos. All of them."

That made my son smile. There was the confident sex machine coming to life. "Yeah, what did you think?" his voice had almost a gravely sound and I knew he was turned on.

"They were the hottest goddamn thing I've ever seen in my life," I hissed.

Our lips met. Soft at first, then hard charging. We'd built up too much lust to take it easy. Travis's hands were unbuttoning my dress shirt and I was tugging at the hem of hit T.

"Fuck... we gonna do this, Dad?" he growled with lust.

"If we don't I'll have the worst blue balls in the world," I replied.

This was so wrong, and that forbidden nature fueled our excitement. We stepped back and stripped for each other. Then Travis took my hand and led me to his bedroom.

"You're gonna be the first guy to fuck me here," he said naughtily. Our naked bodies clung to one another on the bed, father cock against son cock, as we made out. Travis scooted from my grip and fumbled for some lube. I equally fumbled prepping myself and getting in place. The fuck was rushed, too rushed. I came within a minute of entry and my son didn't seem to do better.

But we lay on the bed side by side, holding hands and grinning at each other. Cocks still hard. My first load inside my son, his streaming and liquefying on his chest.

"I can't believe I just fucked JakeTheJock," I joked, and Travis laughed.

"Would you ever consider doing that on camera?" he asked.

That shocked me, but Travis added, "You could wear a mask, no one would know it was you, Dad. Think about it. It would be hot as fuck."

I would think about it. That was the crazy thing. My son had a way of upending my world.

But for now, I didn't want any cameras or onlookers. I just wanted it to be me and Trav. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand. Then he climbed on top of my naked body and kissed me deeply as he bucked his slick ass against my boner. My hands possessively felt up his gym-perfected body and decided I was going to get in real shape myself.

For now, Travis seemed into me, into my dad bod, into fucking around with his actual father. I felt him shift angle and my rigid shaft entered a now more pliable, open hole as my son sank down on me.

I had an hour before I had to go get ready for my meeting, and I was going to make the most of it.

#drakestories

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

My Name Isn't

Summary: You find out the guys (Bucky, Steve, and Sam) have a bet as to who can kiss you first, so you confront them at Tony's team building karaoke night.

Warnings: some swearing and drinking

Word Count: 3187

a/n: This was inspired by my love of the classic using karaoke to express your feelings trope and the song My Name Isn't by LOVA. I did change the lyric "yours" into "doll" though because it made sense in the story.

"Not a chance, Wilson." Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve walked into the room, unbothered by the familiar sounds of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes arguing.

"C'mon tin man, you afraid you're gonna lose?' Sam couldn't help but tease the super soldier.

"It's a stupid bet! Steve tell him it's a stupid bet." Bucky stared at his best friend, silently begging for him to agree.

Steve's tone could only be described as exasperated when he responded, "what is it this time?"

"I bet Barnes and Noble over here," Sam stopped talking to dodge the book Bucky threw at him, "that I could get Y/N to kiss me before he could, and he's too chicken shit to take the bet."

"It's a stupid bet!" Bucky was gearing up to throw another book when Steve chimed in. "I don't know Buck, it could get you to finally act on your feelings for her."

Bucky rolled his eyes, responding with his typical denial "I don't have any feelings, punk."

Sam and Steve shared an obvious "this man is lying" look before turning back to Bucky.

"Fine, Cap since Bucky won't take the bet, will you?" The mischievous gleam in Sam's eye shown through as Steve weighed his options.

"It is a pretty stupid bet, but I'm doing this for you Buck." Clapping Bucky on the shoulder, he turned to Sam. "I'm in." As Steve went to shake Sam's hand, Bucky gave in.

"Fine! Fine. All three of us. The first one to kiss her wins." Bucky reluctantly agreed.

"Now, what does the winner get?" Sam posed the question, mischief clear in his eyes.

The first time you had an inkling that something was afoot was your training with Steve and Bucky later that same day. Steve wasn't overly touchy or anything that would make you uncomfortable, this is America's Golden Boy after all, but he kept calling you "honey" or some variation of it. You'd throw a punch and rather than correcting your form in his usual commanding Captain voice, he would feed you a random compliment followed by a "try it like this hun."

You left the gym confused and with more energy than one would typically have after training with Steve Rogers. Luckily for you, Nat and Wanda noticed it too.

"What was that about?" Wanda asked as soon as the three of you were out of earshot.

"I don't have a clue." Your expression of complete confusion was enough to convince the two women you were telling the truth.

"I always thought Barnes had a thing for you. I wouldn't expect Steve of all people to try to mess that up. Especially with how obvious you are!" Nat chimed in. You've never regretted anything more than getting drunk and admitting your feelings for the brunette super soldier to the two women.

"Ugh, are the two of you ever gonna forget about that?" Your question was rhetorical as you nearly slammed the door to your room, but it didn't stop the two women from shouting "not a chance" and "only if you tell him" through the door.

The second time you noticed the weird behavior was the next day. You were running through some basic defense moves with some new Shield agents when Sam walked in with Bucky.

Now, normally Sam avoids you in the gym because he knows you'll kick his ass. All your time spent training with Nat mixed with your advanced perception skills meant you are a force to be reckoned with in the gym. This time though, he asked to spar before running through his typical warm up routine.

"You sure, Wilson? I wouldn't want to bruise your ego any further." You joked with him, unsure of his motives.

"Oh I'm sure, baby. Do your worst."

So you did. You had him on the mat in 4 minutes even, not letting the "baby" comment phase you until later in the night when you were with Wanda and Nat.

"First, Steve keeps calling me honey. Now Wilson is in on it with baby! What the hell is going on?'

The three of you shared identical shrugs, choosing to ignore it for now in favor of girls night.

Your days continued with the random comments from Sam and Steve. Of course, after the first 24 hours you noticed a pattern emerging. The two men would only use the pet names if Bucky was in the room. If Bucky couldn't overhear what was being said, everything was normal, but all bets were off if he so much as stepped in the room. It was constant affection and compliments from the two men.

You were thinking about the pattern you'd discovered, along with what it could mean, when Tony barged into the common room like a man on fire.

He surveyed the room, noting the presence of nearly every team member. The only three missing? Sam, Steve, and Bucky. You had a feeling they were most definitely up to something. "Oh perfect, most of you are here already! I have decided we don't do enough team building. Saving the world is stressful and we deserve to relax, so... drumroll please!" He waited for an extended period of time, until you, Wanda, and Vision gave him a lackluster drumroll. "That could use some work, but I'm not going to let it bring me down. We're doing karaoke! I rented out a bar for tonight, so clear your schedules ladies and gentlemen! We start at 8."

To say he was met with mixed results would be underselling the range of reactions. Nat looked ready to kill him. Thor was so excited, he reminded you of a golden retriever playing fetch. Most everybody else fell somewhere in the middle.

"Y/N, be a dear and let the three stooges know would ya? I don't know where they are and I don't feel like finding them." Tony didn't wait for a response before leaving the room just as rapidly as he entered it.

"I guess that's my cue. I'll be back and we can at least get ready together?" You looked to Nat and Wanda for confirmation before leaving to find Steve, Bucky, and Sam.

You checked Sam's room first because it's the closest to the common area, but there was no sign of life. Steve and Bucky's rooms sat similarly untouched. You went to the gym, the pool, the game room, and circled back to the kitchen but they were nowhere to be seen. Finally, you gave up the impromptu game of hide and seek asking FRIDAY where they were.

"FRIDAY, do you know where Steve, Bucky, and Sam are?"

"Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, and Lieutenant General Wilson are on the roof." The AI responded so fast, it had you wondering why didn't just ask her 40 minutes ago when their rooms were all empty.

"What the hell are they doing on the roof?" You huffed as you made your way back to the elevator.

"They are the discussing the terms of their bet." FRIDAY's response surprised you. You hadn't meant to actually receive an answer, but now that you did you were curious.

"What bet?" You continued the line of questioning as the elevator rose to the roof access point.

"The three made a bet to see who could get you to kiss them first."

Suddenly, all the pet names and compliments made sense.

"Son of a bi-" You cut yourself off as the elevator door opened, leading you directly to the three men in question. They turned abruptly, clearly caught off guard by anyone coming to the roof.

"Finally. I've been looking for you three everywhere!" You kept the new found information to yourself for the time being. "Tony decided we're doing karaoke tonight. We're supposed to be at the bar he rented out by 8pm." You smiled, taking in the slightly guilty expressions on each of their faces. Even if FRIDAY hadn't told you, it would be painstakingly obvious you caught them talking about you.

"Thanks doll, we'll make sure we're there." You felt the butterflies in your stomach at the pet name, but quickly shut it down. You wouldn't be giving in to their bet that easily.

"No problem, see you boys soon." You winked, pressing the button to bring you back to the main floor. You had a plan to make after all.

"Well, it's karaoke why don't you just sing a song to call them out on it?" Wanda suggested another idea as you all got ready to head to the bar.

"That could work. You just need the perfect song." Nat chimed in, quickly applying some mascara.

"Wanda, you're a genius, and I think I have just the one." You grinned, pulling the song up to play while you finished getting ready.

Upon entering the bar, you immediately started second guessing your plan. That is, until the pet names came out to play. Sam was back at it with calling you baby, and Steve right there beside him with honey.

When you put your name down to sing, Wanda and Nat were right there with you, hyping you up and providing some liquid courage. Four drinks in and you finally felt just tipsy enough to actually follow through with your plan.

With the encouraging words from Nat and Wanda playing through your mind, you walked up to the stage, pulling up your chosen song on the karaoke machine.

You decided to play the beginning of the song off as a coincidence, not wanting to clue the guys in too early.

"One, two, three have been staring at me. It's been going all night."

You made eye contact with Nat and Wanda, fully relying on the feminist in you to knock these guys down a few pegs. By the time the chorus rolled around, you were ready.

Making direct eye contact with Sam, you put as much sass as possible into the next line.

"My name isn't 'baby,' you cannot say whatever you feel like. I am not the things you call me."

Switching your target from Sam to Steve, you kept going with the performance.

"My name isn't 'honey,' I will always do whatever I feel like. Honestly, you don't know me."

Clearly the three of them realized you knew about their bet, but you were on a roll. Switching focus to Bucky, you switched up the words a little bit to put him on blast as well.

"My name isn't... doll. My name isn't... doll."

The girls must have filled in the rest of the group, because you now had Bruce, Thor, Vision, Tony, Pepper, Clint, Wanda, and Nat cheering you on. They were whopping and hollering in agreement with the lyrics.

"We ain't got the time for you messing around so cut the deal."

"Cut the deal!!" You heard Tony yelling out as an echo, shaking your head with a slight chuckle.

"So don't come here and say, 'boys will be boys.' Behind every act there's always a choice."

The three men in question at least had the decency to look ashamed of their actions. Of course, that wasn't enough for you to not put them on blast through another round of the chorus.

The high from calling them out wore off right around the line:

"Do you really think that you can get your way by playing the same game."

Singing those words made you realize exactly what just happened. You held it together, put up a front long enough to get through the last chorus. Singing the last line to Bucky, you felt like your emotions were all over your face. The annoyance that the bet existed. The pain at him being part of it. The love you'd been trying to hide. All of it felt like it was right out in the open.

"My name isn't... Doll. My name isn't, my name isn't... Doll."

You took a quick bow in thanks for all the applause, before running off the stage. You didn't stop at the table with Nat and Wanda, nor did you stop for the three men trying to apologize. You made it outside, running about five blocks before even taking in your surroundings. Noticing a McDonald's, you sent a quick prayer that the ice cream machine was actually functioning before ducking inside.

The team stood with mouths hanging open at your sudden departure.

"What the hell just happened?" Tony posed the question to the group, knocking them out of their stupor.

Bucky was the first to follow you outside, his panic growing when he didn't see you leaning against any of the brick walls.

"Where is she?" Steve asked, spinning in circles right alongside Bucky while the rest of the group filed out the door.

"I don't know!" Bucky turned on Steve and Sam. "I never should have agreed to that stupid bet. Dammit!" Running his hands through his hair, he took off down the street calling a quick, "I'll look this way" over his shoulder.

He moved quickly down the street, keeping his eyes peeled for your sparkly, dark red dress. He looked through the windows of the many store fronts as he passed them. About five blocks later, he was about to turn around, assuming you went a different direction when he saw the familiar golden "m". A memory from about three weeks ago was quick to flash through his mind.

The team just came back from a two and a half week mission yesterday, meaning Tony was bound to throw a party today. It went about the same as most Tony Stark parties go; a lot of schmoozing until most guests left and the team could actually let loose.

You let a little looser than normal at the after party. After the mission required you to pretend to be married to Bucky, you felt like you deserved it. It was getting harder and harder to hide your feelings from him, especially when he insisted on walking you to your room after the party.

In a last ditch effort to avoid any drunk escapades, you asked him to take you to McDonald's instead of your room.

"Please Bucky?" You asked, drawing out the words and adding a small pout for good measure. "I just want a McFlurry and some fries! Please!"

"Sure, doll. We can go to McDonald's." You jumped up and down clapping, hugging him as you praised him for being so kind.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the nicest, most perfect man to ever live. Let's gooooo!!" He smiled at your antics, leading you to one of the many cars Tony kept stocked, not quite trusting you to ride a motorcycle at the moment.

After getting the food, the two of you ate together in the car. You, of course, insisting he try dipping the fries in the ice cream.

Reluctantly, he admitted it wasn't that bad before driving the two of you home. He dropped you off at your door, receiving a whispered "thank you" and a quick kiss to the cheek from you.

He smiled at the memory before walking inside. He found you in a booth toward the back, unsurprisingly dipping fries into your ice cream

"Y/N, I'm so sorry." You didn't even look up when he started speaking, choosing instead to study the m&ms in your dessert. "Really. It was a stupid bet. Hell, I didn't even want to do it, but then that punk and birdman teamed up against me and I couldn't let them do it without me! It would've killed me to know one of them kissed you. It was so stupid and I should've just shut it down. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much more than that." He trailed off, waiting for you to say something.

You gestured to the seat across from you, pushing some fries toward him. "It was a stupid bet."

You waited until his mouth was full before asking "Why would it have killed you?" Watching him nearly choke on his fries was oddly satisfying.

"What?" He tried to deflect the question. You shook your head, passing him a napkin.

"You said it would have killed you to know one of them kissed me. Why?" You looked him in the eye as you ate another fry.

"Well, you see, I... um, maybe have um... feelings." It was his turn to stare intently at the m&ms. He mumbled a quick "get yourself together" under his breath before continuing. "I like you. Hell, I think I love you. I don't know when it started, but suddenly you are all I can think about. I worry about you constantly when your on a mission without me, even though I know you can take care of yourself. I see little things that remind me of you everywhere. Like yesterday, I saw a buttercup on the side of the road and I couldn't stop thinking about the time you spent a good twenty minutes ranting about how spring is the worst season."

Suddenly, you were on a tangent. "Because it is! It's always raining, it's muggy, it's always freezing in the morning and way too hot in the afternoon so you have to carry all these extra layers-"

"I love you. That's why it would've killed me. I don't even want to think about you with another-"

It was your turn to cut him off, doing so by leaning across the small table to kiss him. It was quick, but you still felt fireworks.

"I love you too." Your words were sweet, but shifted when you said the rest of your sentence. "I just have one more question." The smirk on your face made him nervous, but he was more than willing to answer anything.

"What do you get for winning?"

After talking with Bucky, you texted Nat and Wanda to let them know you were okay and the two of you were headed back to the compound. You beat everyone else back, but decided to wait for them in the common area.

Steve and Sam came in with their heads low, struggling to make eye contact.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. We never should have made that bet." Steve started, aware of all the eyes on him.

"Me too. It was stupid and thoughtless." Sam added on.

"It was, but you are forgiven." You reached for Bucky's hand, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Bucky told me the winner of your little bet gets to pick the music for all forms of travel on the next three missions." You grinned at their confused expressions. "Bucky, being the winner, has so graciously bestowed that gift to me now. Get ready boys. I'm talking High School Musical. Hamilton. I'll have the two of you singing Taylor Swift in the shower." You, along with the rest of the team, laughed at their expense. Their grim expressions had you smiling, "oh please, I know you secretly love it!"

"Now, I have to go to bed. I have a date tomorrow." You winked at Bucky before sauntering off down the hall, the cheers of your teammates following you.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson #marvel fic #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #tony stark #marvel

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retvenkos · 3 years

Text

“i’d sell you to satan without hesitation.”

requested by @noesapphic IMAGINE BEING THE OLDER SISTER OF KNOX OVERSTREET; OH, YOU POOR THING...

— as always, here’s some (un)necessary backstory that may or may not be important to the rest of the headcanons:

— the overstreets are rich. this family has some serious cash - not quite as much as the daltons, but surpassing the pitts family by a considerable amount.

this means that growing up, you get the best of everything. the best clothes, the best education, the best everything. your father doesn’t spoil you quite as much as knox (more on that later), but you live a pretty sweet life, friend.

(but also keep in mind that old money + the conservative 50s = traditional gender roles enforced by the strict mr. overstreet.)

— when mrs. overstreet was first expecting, i have no doubt that the family was hoping for a boy. after all, wHo’S gOiNg tO InHeRiT tHe LaW fIrM? A gIrL??? bLaSpHeMy!

when you are born, mrs. overstreet is delighted. mr. overstreet... not so much.

(and i mean, 50s dad did not really have to hide his disappointment back then. you know he had family friends *cough cough* the daltons *cough cough* who made backhanded comments about it.)

however, mrs. overstreet is not a pushover, and she would give her husband a withering stare if she ever heard him express that opinion. sometimes she’d slap his chest, depending on the current company, and it would always end in an apology from mr. overstreet, at first a little insincere, but over the months, growing in honesty.

— and because tradition is a thing™, i imagine your middle name is your grandfather’s name (passing down names, y’know - the important stuff) but mrs. overstreet wanted something just a little feminine, so you have two middle names.

which, as my mother would say, is a strong name. the more names, the more power you command.

(and the power you’re going to command.....)

— you’re 14 months older than knox, which means you don’t remember being an only child, but by god are you going to bring it up at every opportunity.

>> “it was so peaceful before you were born.”

>> “you were an infant, (n/n).”

>> “truly the last time i knew serenity.”

— knox was born prematurely at 7 months, and in the early days, it was really uncertain if he was going to survive (NICUs really weren’t popular until the 60s, but there was some special care for pre-term babies in hospitals before them).

but, like i said earlier, the overstreets have cash, and they paid whatever expense for the best doctors and the best care.

— to ensure his survival, your parents gave him the strongest name they could think of, and ended up giving him at least three middle names to really strengthen his tie to this life.

(it’s definitely a joke between the two of you, now, your obnoxiously long names. knox has more than you, and whenever you pull the “i’m older” card, he pulls the “i have more names” card. it carries surprising weight.)

((but also, can you imagine the other poets finding out about knox having a behemoth of a name? i feel like they would tease him relentlessly, adding on more and more until it’s this outrageous inside joke.))

— being a baby yourself, you don’t remember anything about this tumultuous time, but the aftershocks of him being premature are definitely felt for years to come.

your parents constantly fretting over knox's fragility has always been incredibly annoying. knox scrapes his knee and it’s like the whole world stops for him.

if knox ever wants to do anything it’s always “take your sister with you!” and if anything remotely inconvenient happens, it’s always “(y/n)! how could you let this happen?”

— it always seemed to you that knox was the one who got all of the worry and comfort, and all you got were his picked through left-overs. it pissed you off to no end, and as you got older, you resented knox for it. it’s your angsty phase, and god, as a 9 year old, did it hit hard.

meanwhile, baby knox with his big doe eyes just wants a friend who isn’t bitter all the time. so what’s a sheltered kid to do? spend time with a family friend, of course! enter: the one and only, charlie dalton.

— and you know mrs. overstreet is a competent woman who knows what’s going on, so she does her best to comfort you and explain why

but you’re angsty and experiencing your first case of injustice, and it’s never enough.

(or at least it doesn’t feel that way.)

— so, for knox’s next birthday, your mother gives him a bike - something just for him. she makes a big deal about it, too, that this bike is knox’s newfound independence - that because you don’t have a bike, you don’t have to go with him when he’s on it.

naturally, knox uses his bike a lot (and turfs it a lot, too, because lawyer dad is Not a Good Teacher).

(and now that he has a sweet ride (for an 8 year old, that is) he is riding all over the place - up and down the neighborhood, but also stretching his legs and figuring out the lay of the city.)

so at the ripe age of nine, you are finally free from taking responsibility for your brother, and you have more time for just you.

(this freedom is the best thing you’ve ever tasted. you have so much free time! so much independence! you suddenly get like,,, 10 different hobbies - each wildly different from the last and garnering many laughs from your mother - and slowly you shave down the number until you have 3 favorites.)

— a vital part of any young girls life is her friend group, so let me take the moment to say that you are friends with ginny danbury - seeing as your fathers worked together - and it was through the many visits to her house that you met and became friends with chris noel.

(i mean, if knox gets a squad, you deserve one too)

i imagine chris, being the sweetheart that she is, is very different from you, but admires your bold personality. you definitely compliment each other at astronomical levels, because you both want to be more like the other.

— but think of all the things you’d do together! writing in dream journals! picking out clothes! swapping makeup tips when your older, and piercing the other’s ears in ginny’s bathroom (because your moms want to wait until you’re older, but you, chris, and ginny want to do it now). watching rom coms! reading magazines! listening to ginny rave about music and dancing to the radio in her bedroom! going out for milkshakes and whispering about the cute waiters and waitresses! truly, it’s what you deserve.

— and when knox gets an obnoxious crush on chris.... it’s more than you can bear. you absolutely hate it. i mean, could you imagine your loser little brother crushing on your bff? knox is getting beat over the head with a stick, because you are not having it.

(and you know you have a lot of arguments like, “can’t i just have one thing to myself, knox?” / “chris isn’t a thing, (y/n), you can’t just ‘keep her’.” / “oh, because you’re the poster boy for women’s rights, huh? you’re the progressive one in the house?” / “shut up, (y/n).” / “”no, please, go ahead. tell me all about your progressive ideals.” / “...yeah, well... go to hell!” / “that’s not very progressive of you!”)

— i should also mention that when you’re old enough, you attend henley hall. an all girls academy is exactly what you need after having to deal with your idiot brother, all the time.

— no, but when you and knox are teenagers, you truly are a dynamic duo.

— no doubt you have the Angel Daughter™ reputation, because let’s be real here, mrs. overstreet taught you how to smile and nod, but you’re actually a little rebellious, and cleverly sneak out of your house a lot to hang out with your friends at the nearby park and cinema, asking your dad innocently for money, and occasionally bribing knox to use his bike for easy transportation.

you’re the cool sister, and knox has definitely learned how to sneak about from you. you probably know how to pick locks, and you definitely know where your parents hide extra money, so if knox ever has need for cash and some free time, he has to go to you.

(“i’ll get you an extra twenty... but only if you convince dad to let me take an astronomy class.” / “you know he doesn’t think it’s important for you to take that!” / “i will die if i have to take another homemaking class.” / “suck it up. i have to take latin!” / “because you’re the future lawyer. now, do you want to go out or not?” / “....fine. one astronomy class.”)

— but beyond practical knowledge (you also taught knox how to sew buttons on his shirts), knox goes to you for a lot of personal advice, and you’re actually pretty decent at it. at some point, he’ll make a snide remark about your propensity to get into other people’s business, and you get to threaten him <3.

just sibling stuff.

— i also imagine that knox is the romantic, and he probably discovered a love for poetry far before mr. keating came along.

he was probably sick one day over a winter break or something, and because old habits die hard, mrs. overstreet sequestered him in his room, for fear that it might get worse. while knox bored, he decides to clean his room (he gets incredibly stir crazy and needs to do stuff with his hands) and he finds one of your poetry books that you left in his room a while ago.

— he decides to read it, and he adores the anthology. he reads the poems over and over. (honestly, it’s the only thing getting him through his nasty cold)

later, when he’s finally getting better, your dad finds the poetry book in his room, and (because you know how 50s dads are) gives knox a look™. you take the fall for it, saying you were keeping knox company and left your book in his room.

knox keeps a lot of poetry books in your room, now, and you get to roast him over his taste.

>> “really? ‘she was an apparition of delight’ by wordsworth? that’s the poem you’ve annotated to death?”

>> and knox pulls the book out of your hands, grumbling “yeah, well it wasn’t written about you.”

>> “you wanna repeat that, lover boy?”

— you two definitely tease each other and verbally spar a lot, but knox has a lot of respect for you, and as the older sibling, the desire to protect him at all costs is strong.

being the daughter of the silver-tongued mrs. overstreet and no-nonsense lawyer mr. overstreet, you can destroy anyone in 5 exchanges, max.

(knox is like,,,,,,, why don’t i have your eloquence??? your mastery of language??? he can’t form coherent sentences around people he admires, and it’s all because you took those genes. help him, please.)

— at some point, knox teaches you how to throw a proper punch, because if you’re going to be this tart-tongued, you might as well know how to physically destroy someone, too.

the entire scene is probably a laugh, though, because while knox has play fought before, has he ever really punched anyone? with visceral rage? it’s a learning curve for you both.

(for maximum humor, charlie and neil are there and making the stupidest comments you’ve ever heard.)

— also! this is very important: you definitely bonk some Respecting Women lessons into knox, and because of you (and your mother), he drinks his respecting women juice and does nOT do what canon!knox does.

don’t get me wrong - he’s still incredibly annoying with his crush over chris, but he actually.......... respects her and doesn’t take advantage of her? *gasp*

— also, i imagine that the first time the two of you got drunk was together, probably sneaking into your families’ liquor cabinet while your parents were at some fancy dinner.

it was hilarious and you both woke up regretting your choices. your dad probably doesn’t know it ever happened, but your mom finds out (as mothers do) and at first, she’s laughing too hard at knox’s vow that he’ll never drink again to even reprimand you.

— as always, the final headcanons are really disparate, but here’s some important things to note:

— as the overstreets and daltons are family friends, you are also long time friends with charlie, and the two of you have such contrasting (yet somehow complimentary?) personalities, that you two are constantly bickering. it’s always just really annoying for knox anytime the two of you are in the same vicinity. you will just roast each other and knox is like,,,, can i please get attention?

— you and knox are most definitely movie enthusiasts, and the two of you have always gone to see the latest films together. it’s the one time the two of you are together and everything’s completely quiet.

your friends find it endearing that you take movies so seriously, but are also frightened at the ferocity of your shushing if they talk in the cinema.

— after you watch a film, the two of you argue over the quality of it over dinner. mr. overstreet cannot stand your bickering, and so when you’re older, the two of you go out to a diner afterward and talk for hours.

honestly, if this were a modern!au, you guys would probably have a podcast or something.

— you also follow your favorite actors with a burning fascination and curiosity, and when the oscars are first televised in 1953, you and knox (and probably ginny and charlie) all watch it together and argue over who should have won what.

— also, because knox is so laughably bad at talking to girls, you know you have given him so. much. advice.

you are supporting your local himbo, but is he supporting you?

— at some point, your parents go out of town for a month in the summer, and can you imagine the horror? neither of you are particularly good at homemaking, you’re a terrible cook and forget to wash the dishes, and knox leaves his wet shower towels on the floor of the bathroom every. day.

it’s hell month, honestly, and when pitts stops by for whatever reason, he takes one look around and is just like..... 😬😬 yikes, guys....

— also, during the summers when you guys get to go the dalton beach house (because yeah, the daltons have a beach house, and yeah, they need to flex their superior wealth on their close friends), the two of you are obnoxious as hell. you’re going swimming in the middle of the night. you’re having dance parties at all odd hours of the night. your making friends in the tiny town nearby, and stealing hearts as you go. you’re chaotic; unhinged; and one could argue it’s because of the summer vibes, but we all know that’s a lie - it’s just because that’s your usual.

taglist: @maybanksslut, @ughgclden, @teaand-dreams // add yourself to the taglist here!

#dps #dead poets society #knox overstreet #knox overstreet x reader #knox overstreet headcanons #dps headcanons #headcanons #and hey in the script its mentioned that knox has a sister that goes to henley hall with ginny so technically this is canon #i just ~enhanced it~ for your enjoyment #anyway i swing wildly from appreciating fanon knox for what he is and wanting to roast the hell out of his loser existence #so i'm clearly the perfect authority to tell you what it's like to be his sister.

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fastestloseralive · 3 years

Note

minor/niche speedster headcanons? not necessarily bland but more like headcanons that arent always relevant or are kinda niche?

just be aware these are mostly just random shit I came up with and not all of it applies to canon because I wasn’t trying to make it apply to any particular canon please don’t @ me here. most of these are about Wally bc it’s me and how could they not be

- since it’s pride month I’m gonna start with that I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again but no! one! in! this! family! is! straight!

- the west-allen household has a flag hanging next to their front door. unlike most homes in the Midwest it’s not an American flag, it’s a bi pride flag, because of course it is.

- Actually okay this is a dumb headcanon and it’s entirely 10000000% me projecting because I rarely get to about this because a lot of the characters I like are like, you know, clearly not ace, but I literally had a dream last night that I was reading a comic and Barry was stated to be asexual in canon and I cannot explain why. in reality it’s more like I think he’s demisexual and honestly if you’re not Iris West or Hal Jordan he isn’t interested🤷‍♀️

- speaking of this!! Bart’s aroace and no I’m not going to take criticism on that one, no thank you, it’s canon, goodbye.

- this is so self-indulgent but also Wally is a horse girl at heart. Blue Valley in my head is some small town, USA thing in the middle of nowhere, nebraska and his grandparents on his mom’s side own a farm on which they have a horse named Socks and that horse is Wally’s best friend. no I’m not going into any more detail yes this headcanon was inspired by the Hannah Montana movie

- If Wally had a high school reunion was while his identity as the Flash was public, and if he was like, 5% more petty and was capable of getting drunk, he would’ve showed up just to roast everyone who bullied him as a child because they used to make fun of him and turn around and talk about how cool Kid Flash was

- Something something speedsters being claustrophobic I know that headcanon is popular I just. I love that

- I’ve talked about my whole three lightning rods theory before here but that applies as well here ok!!!

- not really a headcanon but I feel the need to point out that Bart plays Pokémon in canon and I can’t remember if it’s like an in-universe renamed version of it or what (idk how to explain that. like how in iCarly they had pear products instead of apple products?? there’s probably a name for when shows and stuff do that) but I’m obsessed with this, naturally, because I’m me

- speaking of dumb stuff: Wally wore glasses as a kid but he had to get contacts once he got his powers because he refused to wear special sports glasses as kid flash. Although in yjtv that’s why he HAS the goggles there, because his glasses would always fly off his face and without them he’s just running completely blind

- Wally had a space nerd phase when he found out his uncle’s best friend was green lantern. no literally listen like if you’ve seen toy story? that’s literally what happened. Hal bought Wally a green lantern action figure for his birthday and Wally looks at his flash action figure and goes “I don’t wanna play with you anymore” and Barry feels like his heart just got ripped out and he doesn’t talk to Hal for like a week. A month later Wally’s realized he can have two favorite heroes but Barry will never forgive Hal for this and Hal will never let him live down the jealousy LMAO

- jokes on them both Wally’s real favorite heroes are Aunt Iris and the first Robin, in that order

#I hope these are obscure enough I feel like they aren’t but do I care! no! also hi ily #asks #there’s probably so many I forgot but I’m too lazy to put in

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gonewiddershins · 2 years

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Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 2 of 7)

13. your favorite romance novel

You should know by now that I don't actually have favorites. I have a list of things I like and how much I like them varies with time, emotions, circumstances, and also maybe the phases of the moon. But The Duke in Disguise by Cat Sabastian was the first book I thought of when I saw this question, so it's the answer by default.

A Duke in Disguise is a standalone (technically it's part of a series, but books in romance novels series are often functionally standalones with cameos) romance story about two childhood friends- a prickly left-leaning publisher trying to keep her business afloat and an illustrator (engraver, to be precise) who turns out to be the long-lost heir to a dukedom. It's filled with class rage and ideas about what independence means and wonderful friend and family characters. The heroine is bi and filled with rage goes to her ex-girlfriend when she wants to yell about stuff. It's great.

QUOTE:

How one was meant to feed all these people on a couple of mutton chops Verity did not know. Supper was supposed to serve four: herself, Nate, Ash, and Charlie. But Nate had come home with three friends he met at the pub, which would have been bad enough even if he hadn’t evidently also invited Amelia Allenby, the half-grown daughter of Verity’s friend. At half past seven, a carriage pulled up in front of the house and disgorged a girl in pearl earbobs and a white muslin frock, dressed as if she were going to dine with the great and good of the land, rather than pick at too few mutton chops and be an eyewitness to sedition. Amelia was seventeen and looked upon Nate with a degree of hero worship that nobody who brought three hungry radicals home to dinner deserved.

15. a book rec you really enjoyed

I just really love mythology retellings in concept, but I don't often find ones which really scratch the sweet spot I'm looking for. Avalon High by Meg Cabot is still my favorite Arthurian retelling (sue me), but I was pleasantly surprised by The Squire's Tale by Gerald Morris. I found it off a rec list of Arthurian stories, most of which I tried and never finished. But I liked how straightforward and simple and entertaining this one was, so I read the whole series.

It's still very much a children's book (YA at most) with some level of black and white morality and a few jokes that fall flat. But it makes a genuine effort to be sympathetic, entertaining, and thoughtful. Some of the scenes are wonderful, and made up for the bits of dissonance I felt on reading others.

QUOTE: (For context, Trevisant forgets the past, but can see the future)

Terence wept when he left the hermit. Gawain waited, patient and unembarrassed, while Terence embraced the old man and kissed him tearfully. Trevisant whispered in Terence's ear, "This is the nice thing about seeing time my way: no regrets."

16. a book you’d recommend to your younger self

Any queer book, tbh. Younger me grew up in a conservative country, had limited internet access, and was never good at making friends in the first place. To younger me's credit, her reaction to homosexuality existing was "sounds fair enough", but I imagine she might have been given a glimpse into how varied and different the world was if she'd encountered queer books a little sooner. Also, it might have helped her realize her GIANT FLAMING CRUSH on Carmen Sandiego, which she developed at say- Age 8.

I think the one I'd pick is The Magpie Lord by KJ Charles, though. It has not just gay romance, but a Victorian England setting, a nobleman who wants very badly to return to China where people are sane, magic, and very graphic horror. Also it's just really fucking funny and I like that in a book. Sounds perfect.

QUOTE:

“Is there a reason you’re making this a private compartment?” Stephen enquired warily.

“Yes,” said Crane. “Is there a reason your sleeve is soaked in blood?”

“What? Where? Oh bother.” Stephen contorted himself to look at his left elbow. “Blast.”

“It looks to the untutored eye as though you have been leaning in a puddle of blood,” said Crane. “Quite a large puddle.”

“Yes. I dare say it does.”

“Because…?”

“I can’t talk about my business. I’m sure you understand.”

Part 2 of 7

#kj charles #magpie lord #cat sebastian #gerald morris #squire's tales #jill see the thing #ask meme #book rec ask meme

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bisluthq · 3 years

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hi nat! i know you don’t believe in kaylor anymore, but i wanted to send in my kaylor/joshlie theory, just as food for thought and fun speculation.

CW: ED

background:

back in 2017, i made a new friend. i quickly became kinda obsessed with her. i idolized how tall and skinny she was, her radiant sunshine-like presence, and the way she was so much cooler than me. something about her just drew me in like a magnet.

one day she told me that she was “bi-curious,” and i felt the unexplainable urge to tell her that i was queer too—so i did.

thus started our intense homoerotic friendship. we talked about everything, and she was rather touchy and flirty with me (we even hooked up a few times). but she was hung up on this dude who she’d been in a long-term off-and-on relationship with. looking back, i think she saw me as a willing participant in her experimentation phase—a source of casual fun while on a break from her ‘real’ relationship (plus, i came with the added bonus of helping her figure out her sexuality a bit).

meanwhile, i was serious about us because i was in love with her. as such, the relationship was obviously very unhealthy: neither of us had appropriate expectations of the other, and because of the imbalance in our level of commitment/love, she ended up inadvertently taking advantage of my friendship in ways that only increased my obsession with her. naturally, our friendship eventually imploded.

i think the kaylor story may look similar.

my theory on kaylor:

i think that kaylor had a very similar friendship as me and my friend. their connection obviously started out as pr, but they ended up getting along well and bonded. thus started their genuine friendship.

i think that their eating disorders were likely a strong source of bonding/connection for them, as this was the case for me and my friend as well. i wanted to emulate how skinny my friend was, just how i think taylor wanted to emulate how skinny karlie was. (remember the vogue best best friends video, in which taylor complemented karlie’s “shiny abs.”) this is obviously an unhealthy place to start a friendship: from day one, you are on uneven ground, where one person is essentially worshipping the other and seeing them as a god-like figure to emulate.

imagine that taylor in that sort of mindset with karlie. and on top of that, she’s attracted to karlie—obsessed with her skinny body, her sunshine-like personality, how sophisticated she is, how effortlessly successful she is, etc. she develops an infatuation with karlie. she wants to take karlie to big sur with her and play 1989 on the way, and she’s so obsessed with karlie that she wants to tell her the truth about the 1989 muse. (trust me, it’s feasible—i told my friend shit i’d never have even imagined confessing to another human, all because of how infatuated with her i was.) so taylor and karlie sit down, have an intensely emotional conversation about how taylor is bi, how the pressures of staying closeted gut her every day, how her relationship with the 1989 muse dianna was so full of strife due to closeting, etc. /// or maybe taylor feels that she must disclose her bisexuality to karlie before the big sur trip. she’s terrified that if she doesn’t tell karlie she’s bi, then karlie will somehow find out. and taylor’s afraid that then, karlie will be creeped out that a ~predatory lesbian~ invited her on a three-month sleepover, leading to the demise of their friendship. so taylor must avoid that outcome – so she must come out to karlie.

so, for either reason i described, taylor comes out to karlie. considering how scared taylor is to come out to karlie (since it might ruin their friendship, or karlie might maliciously out her to others now that she knows, etc.) and considering how generally poor taylor’s mental health was at the time, the coming out inevitably evolves into an intensely emotional conversation about taylor’s fears, insecurities, the pressures of being a closeted mega-celebrity, etc. perhaps karlie feels compelled to match the level of emotion and vulnerability, motivating her to tell taylor “i’m questioning if i might be a little bi too.” or perhaps taylor’s level of earnestness and rawness stirs up the illusion of intense emotions inside of karlie. so, karlie “comes out” to taylor – confessing that she’s questioning/bi-curious (for context, i think karlie is kinsey 1). /// (to show the validity of this possibility – this is how evangelical churches, such as the one shown in the 2006 documentary “jesus camp”, are able to convince children that they’re being overcome by the holy spirit, being prompted by god to break down in tears, etc. – psychologically speaking, when people are put into highly intense emotional situations, [such as taylor breaking down while coming out to karlie], their brains will feel inadvertent pressure to match the level of emotion. as such, their brains will either exacerbate existing relevant emotions, or create the illusion of relevant strong emotions. [this is probably especially true for karlie, since she is an empath and a people pleaser.]).

thus starts the “friends with occasional benefits” stage. karlie views the relationship as something casual, something that gal pals do sometimes, something fun to experiment with while she and josh are on a break, and maybe with the added bonus of helping her figure out if she’s actually a little bit queer.

but taylor falls hard. as i already said, i think taylor was infatuated with karlie’s personality, success, and skinniness. that’s why taylor is willing to engage in such an unhealthy and un-reciprocal relationship: she’s willing to tolerate josh’s presence, because her brain is so fixated on karlie that she’s willing to endure anything for her. taylor may even recognize that kaylor is doomed, but she’s so in love/obsessed that she can’t bring herself to care about anything other than the utter infatuation she feels in this present moment. (this was true of me and my friend – my friend would literally vent to me about her long-term on-again-off-again boyfriend, and i was willing to endure it because of how obsessed with her i was.) or maybe taylor’s somewhat in denial about josh. (this was also true of me and my friend – i had such a hard time conceptualizing that she had feelings for the man that my brain, to some extent, refused to fully grasp the reality of that.) or maybe taylor was even in denial about how intensely she loved karlie, convincing herself that she just really valued her platonic friendship (i also did this – it took me months to admit that i had a crush on my friend and admit that my level of obsession wasn’t normal gal pal behavior – even though i was already out to myself.) also keep in mind the eating disorder dynamic here – taylor looked to karlie as an idol regarding how to eat healthy, exercise, be skinny, and be successful. the mindset of people engaged in eating disorders tends to be obsessive and unhealthy to the extent of being willing to ignore reality / unknowingly refusing to accept reality, possibly including the reality of josh, if taylor feels like her skinniness is dependent on her connection with karlie.

so basically, karlie sees this as a gal pal fling, friends with the occasional casual benefit. taylor, conversely, is infatuated with karlie. one thing that really confirms this for me is kissgate. taylor was liking kaylor shipped tumblr posts shortly before kissgate – she obviously was feeling something for karlie that night. but karlie wasn’t committed to taylor to the same level – yes they (allegedly) made out, but karlie made out with josh immediately afterwards. /// to taylor, kaylor is a ship, an endgame. but to karlie, taylor is just a fun little pit stop, and she’s gonna go make out with her real boyfie immediately after.

eventually, the friendship inevitably implodes, leading to their breakup in 2016. some straw finally breaks the camel’s back on this relationship which was unhealthy and doomed from day 1.

now let’s look at lyrical evidence from repuation that supports my theory.

lyrical evidence from reputation:

ready for it

the bearding anthem. verses “he” are joe, as confirmed by the music video. chorus “you” is her fantasy idealized version of long-term kaylor.

there’s a reason that the “you” relationship (in the chorus) is happening IN HER DREAMS and not in real life – she pines for this committed and serious relationship with karlie, but that’s not reality.

but taylor has hope that it might happen – “i know i’m gonna be with you, so I TAKE MY TIME.” she imagines they’ll be friends-to-lovers, and she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage

this is a stretch, but “thief”/“robber” may refer to how she’s “stealing” karlie from josh lol. “touch me and you’ll never be alone” may also be a cheeky reference how taylor was like a temporary placeholder for josh – when karlie felt alone bc she and josh were on a break, taylor was like “touch me karlie, to keep you occupied while josh has left you alone. and oh yeah, if you end up in a relationship with me, then i promise that you’ll never be alone, bc i will commit to you, unlike that josh boy. i will be so much better than him, if you just let me.”

end game (but only the chorus/verse which taylor wrote)

“i WANNA be your endgame” – taylor is not in a committed relationship with karlie. as karlie sees it, they’re just fooling around. but taylor wants more than that: she wants to be karlie’s endgame.

“you and me would be a big conversation” bc they’re gay. (sorry joseph matthew alwyn, this line is not about you)

“i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” may be a reference to how karlie is gal pals with plenty of her female friends (example – her platonic yet very affectionate relationship with toni garrn). but taylor wants more than that – she wants their touches to be romantic rather than just platonic/occasionally casually sexual.

“i don’t wanna hurt you” – taylor fears that she’s bad news for karlie (a sentiment repeated in the first line of delicate, the bridge of i did something bad, etc.). this may be internalized homophobia – the predatory lesbian falls in love with her pure/innocent straight best friend and then corrupts her with homosexuality.

“but i ain’t tryna play” – taylor wants this relationship to be more than just the occasional fun/playful/casual hook up. she wants to be karlie’s end game.

“i hit you like ‘bang’, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn’t” may refer to the first time they hooked up. it was unexpected, just happened so suddenly (“like ‘bang’”). and they were just going to put it past them – sometimes friends hook up, it’s whatever. but taylor can’t move on from it.

“your body is gold” – self-explanatory. karlie is the gold rush girl, after all.

“you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks” reminds me of how i used to try to communicate my seriousness/love to my friend, but she’d laugh it off and assume i was joking. conversely, perhaps the “trick” is that taylor is pretending that she’s not super invested in karlie—maybe karlie is catching on to the fact that taylor is infatuated with her in a ~gay way~. taylor denies it, but karlie calls her bluff on that statement.

“here’s the truth from my red lips” – but in the music video, her lips aren’t red when she says this line. this may allude to all of the lying involved in her relationship with karlie (such as lying about just how in love with karlie she really was). or taylor may have her lips a different color because the truth has changed from the time she wrote this song to the time she’s filming the video – when she wrote this song, it was true that she wanted to be karlie’s endgame. but by the time rep era is here and they’re filming this video, the kaylor friendship is over, and it is no longer true that taylor wants to be karlie’s endgame.

i did something bad

just like in “ready for it”, i think the verses primarily refer to bearding (or maybe calvin/kimye, idk), but the chorus is about karlie.

“they say did something bad / then why’s it feel so good” – it is bad that she slept with karlie despite the fact that karlie is in a complicated long term relationship with josh. but the sex felt good ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

“and i’d do it over and over and over again / IF I COULD” – this implies that taylor only did ~the bad thing~ a few times, and she was unable to do it more times, even though she wanted to. this lines up with my theory that she and karlie hooked up a few times (casually in karlie’s eyes), but taylor wanted it to be more than just a few times (she wanted to be karlie’s endgame). but they couldn’t get to that committed place of routinely having sex bc karlie was still low key hung up on josh.

this is a very unlikely reach but – “he says ‘don’t throw away a good thing’” – “he” might be josh speaking to karlie about their relationship.

in the bridge, taylor says that she is a witch being unjustly burned. the witch is burned because she is being accused of the sin of dark magic – this parallels josh accusing taylor of being a witch who committed the sin of sleeping with his girlfriend, or maybe even the sin of “corrupting” the pure straight girl karlie. furthermore, the bridge invokes religious imagery of purgatory. and tbh, religious imagery is almost always gay xoxo.

don’t blame me

“don’t blame me, love made me crazy” again implies that taylor has committed a sort of ~crime~, such as the ~crimes~ i just mentioned regarding the don’t blame me bridge.

“my drug is my baby” – the drug reference makes me think of dependency. the obsession and infatuation i experienced with my friend (and that i suspect taylor experienced with karlie) is sort of like a drug dependency – and just like a drug dependency, the need for each other is not reciprocal (the drug does not need you back).

“shaking, pacing, i just need you” implies that taylor does not have “you”, which is consistent with my theory that she wanted kaylor to be endgame whereas karlie was only willing to doing occasional gal pal hook ups.

“for you, i would cross the line” / “they say she’s gone too far this time” – sleeping with josh kushner’s ~innocent straight~ girlfriend certainly crosses a line, lol.

“i would waste my time” – as i mentioned in my ready for it analysis, taylor hopes that kaylor be friends-to-lovers. she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage, even though she recognizes that the relationship is doomed and thus a waste of time.

“my name is whatever you decide” – we don’t have to “girlfriends.” we can just be “friends with benefits” or “gal pals” or whatever name you decide, because i am so desperate to have you at all that i will accept you in any form.

“i’m insane, but i’m your baby” – acknowledging that this unhealthy relationship/infatuation she has with karlie is “insane”

“halo hiding my OBSESSION” – “obsession” (!!!!) (that’s what i’ve been saying kaylor was!!!). also, “halo” is a religious metaphor, and religious metaphors are always gay xoxo. and this is a reach, but as a victoria’s secret angel, karlie wears a halo.

“i once was poison ivy, but now i’m your daisy” – i’m sorry, but i’ll never get over the fact that karlie tagged the daisy as taylor, and then taylor drew a picture of a daisy in an identical position above the word “daisy” in the handwritten lyrics.

“for you, i would fall from grace / just to touch your face” – religious metaphors are gay xoxo!

delicate – unsure if this song is about karlie (i think it’s more likely about lily or even joe), but if it is about karlie, it does align well with my kaylor theory.

“this ain’t for the best” – doomed relationship due to josh, corruption of straight girl, karlie won’t commit, etc.

“we can’t make / any promises” – karlie can’t commit to taylor like taylor wants/needs

“is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? cuz i know that it’s delicate” – is it cool that i have gay feelings for you, bestie, because i know we’re toeing a very delicate line between friends and lovers?

“third floor on the west side” – iirc, the master bedroom of karlie’s west side apartment was on the third floor

“do the girls back home touch you like i do?” – contrasting platonic girls’ touches to the type of touch taylor is giving her. (similar vibe to “i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” in end game)

“stay here, honey, I DON’T WANNA SHARE” – i don’t wanna share you with josh

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” – implies that karlie is not hers all the time (because she’s josh’s)

“i like you …… i want you” – taylor is Yearning™ for a deeper/more serious relationship with karlie

look what you made me do

i don’t think this song has much substance, but it may draw on themes/emotions from the kaylor friendship break up.

“i don’t like your games” – i don’t like how you led me on, making me feel like we could be forever when, in reality, you were never going to commit to me because you loved josh

“don’t like your tilted stage” – this reminds me of the power imbalance i mentioned earlier: taylor was obsessed with karlie and idolized her. karlie did not reciprocate this dedication and infatuation. because taylor’s love for karlie is so much more intense than karlie’s love for her, the metaphorical scale is imbalanced, making it tilt.

“the role you made me play, of the fool” – you made me out to be a fool, ready to confess my undying love even though you could never reciprocate. // furthermore, the “role” may refer to how they had to act like platonic girl squad besties as per their pr arrangement (reminds me of how karlie publicly said “taylor and i are still besties” after karlie’s name wasn’t on the junior jewels shirt in the lwymmd mv, how karlie promo-ed the “Me!” filter on Instagram, the song closure, etc.)

“your perfect crime” – the crime of sleeping with taylor despite being low key still with josh

“i got smarter” – i began to realize how unhealthy this warped and imbalanced friendship was

“you asked me for a place to sleep / locked me out and threw a feast” – this may refer to karlie had a ~designated bestie sleepover room~ in taylor’s house, and that enty blind about how karlie used taylor’s credit card and that caused a feud lol

i do not think that “so it goes” is about karlie – it’s too reciprocal. i don’t think gorgeous is about karlie specifically – maybe lily or just women in general. and i agree with andy’s theory that getaway car is more so an exercise in storytelling than a song that contains substantive clues about her relationships.

king of my heart

we have the photos showing that taylor wrote/recorded this after facetiming with karlie to watch the sunset together. taylor wrote this right after that romantic coded date, presumably during a high point of their friendship/relationship – as such, this song is more idealistic than most other kaylor songs. taylor is hopeful about the future of a committed endgame kaylor. (but, we’ll also see that taylor does still have some insecurities about kaylor.)

“now you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes” – karlie is just “trying on” calling her baby. karlie is new to this whole wlw thing, and she won’t be wearing these metaphorical clothes (a wlw relationship) for long – she’s just trying them on. furthermore, “trying on clothes” may reference how karlie is a model.

“salute to me, i’m your american queen” – i think i remember from my ttb days (derogatory) that there’s a video clip of karlie calling taylor “the perfect all-american girl” whilst doing a salute.

“you move to me like a motown beat” may reference the “motown beats” instagram post where kaylor are putting on lipstick together

the fact that taylor includes the line “all the boys and their expensive cars … never took me quite where you do” may be a sign of taylor’s insecurity. i think this may be a message to karlie – ‘yes, josh is a rich boy with expensive cars, but look, we are so much better than joshlie is.’ calling josh a mere “boy” is also a funny little insult – he’s not a man, he’s just some silly little boy who can’t satisfy you like i can.

“body and soul” – i think it might be significant that taylor specifies body AND soul. they’re already connected by the soul through their close friendship – but now they’re connecting sexually with their bodies as well. conversely, this could reference how they’ve already connected bodily through casual gal pal hook ups, but now taylor believes that they’re starting to connect on that romantic soul level as well.

“school girl crush” gives me such unreciprocated crush vibes. maybe taylor’s crush was unreciprocated for a while, but she has reason to believe that their relationship is growing into ~more than just friends~, as she’s desired

“drinking beer out of plastic cups” – knicks game

“say you fancy me, not fancy stuff” – “fancy” could just be straight-bait to make swiftwyn beards look more convincing, or it could be a re-dedication of the song to joe (just how the bridge of dress re-dedicated that song to joe). (for context, i believe in swiftwyn beards-to-lovers.) but what’s important here is that “fancying stuff” made me think of how, as a model, karlie is like madona’s Material Girl. rich boy josh with his fancy cars can give karlie more “stuff” to satisfy her inner material girl, but taylor wants to show karlie that she can give her deeper fulfillment than that.

“this is enough” – this might be taylor reassuring herself that their relationship, despite being in a weird ~gal pals who hook up occassionally~ is enough. even though they’re not ~girlfriends~, the relationship is enough, because taylor believes that they’re working their way towards that ~body and soul endgame wives~ type of relationship.

“all at once” may refer to a seemingly sudden shift in the nature of their relationship – one day, they’re (infuriatingly) just gal pals who hook up, but all of a sudden, taylor has reason to believe/hope that maybe they’re starting to be more than that, maybe inching their way towards endgame territory.

i do not think that dancing with our hands tied is necessarily about karlie. it seems too reciprocal to be just about her; it might be an amalgamation of many relationships and how she frequently fears being outed.

dress

“a golden tattoo” – drake’s party. also, karlie is gold rush girl

“all of this silence, pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you / all of this silence, pining and desperately waiting” – once again implies that taylor does not have karlie the way she wants her. there’s “pining” because she wants more than karlie can give. and taylor is “desperately waiting” in hopes that maybe one day karlie will reciprocate her love to the full extent that she desires

“i don’t want you like a best friend” – self-explanatory

“carve your name into my bedpost” – taylor is making a request – ‘please commit, please leave a sign that you are committed to me forever, please be my endgame.’ note the dichotomy between this plea for karlie to take the initiative to make the carving, versus the statement in the first verse of how karlie inadvertently left “an indentation in the shape of” her. the indentation was not an act of karlie’s chosen will – taylor just so happened to fall in love with her, and now she’s asking karlie to reciprocate by making that carving.

“inescapable, i’m not even gonna try” – taylor is resigned to the fact that she’s fallen for karlie, even though the relationship might be doomed (as the next line demonstrates)

“if I get burned, at least we were electrified” – taylor is acknowledging that this relationship is low key doomed, and if anyone is going to get hurt, it’ll be taylor. taylor will be the one getting “burned” by the intensity of her infatuation, whereas karlie won’t be burned because she never reciprocated that intense love. /// going back to my commentary on “carve your name into my bedpost” – note how taylor frequently references karlie “claiming” her (with “marks”, “indentations”, “carvings”, and now “burns”), whereas taylor never states that she’s claimed karlie in any way. i think this may reflect taylor’s recognition that she has fallen much harder for karlie than karlie has for her. karlie does not bear marks, indentations, carvings, or burns from their relationship, because she was never as committed as taylor was. but taylor bears all those things because it is she who fell so hard for karlie.

“you kiss my face and we’re both drunk” reminds me of that trope where the gal pals only make out when they’re drunk because they’re convinced they’re actually straight. maybe karlie is one of those straight girls who only has so much capacity for wlw sex, meaning that it happens more often when she’s drunk than when sober.

i do not think that “this is why we can’t have nice things” is a direct karlie song. it may indirectly reference how karlie “broke” the “nice thing” that was their relationship by refusing to commit, but i don’t think that the song has anything substantive to show us about kaylor.

i’m not sure if i think “call it what you want” is a kaylor song. on some level, “fit like a daydream” does sound like eating disorder taylor idolizing karlie’s body, and it’s interesting to me how the subject of the song expresses virtually no devotion to taylor, whereas taylor spends the whole song telling the subject “call it what you want – call us girlfriends, gal pals, whatever you want as long as i can keep you.” this reminds me a bit of kaylor.

new year’s day

“don’t read the last page” because i know that this book has a sad ending. this relationship is doomed, and it’s going to end poorly. but let’s put that out of our minds – i’m to infatuated with you in this moment to think about how this will inevitably end.

“i stay when you’re lost and i’m scared and you’re turning away” – when karlie is “lost” (leaving taylor to go back to josh) or “turning away” from taylor to go back to josh, taylor stays. she’s scared that she’s going to lose karlie, but she’s still going to stay, because she’s willing to “waste her time” (don’t blame me) waiting for karlie to choose her.

“i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes” – taylor is willing to stay through the mess of their imbalanced and un-reciprocal relationship even when that inevitably gets hard. their relationship is “wrong” because karlie is josh’s, and maybe kaylor was a mistake because of joshlie, but taylor doesn’t care – she loves karlie too much, so she’s going to stay and wait for karlie to choose her.

“i WANT your midnights” – implying that taylor does not currently have them, because karlie is not reciprocating the level of love taylor is giving and wants in return.

“hold on to the memories” implies that this relationship will be ending soon (because it is doomed), leaving karlie only memories to hold onto.

“i will hold onto you” – this goes back to the theme of taylor’s obsession. karlie is her drug – she’s addicted to her, and she will “waste her time” eternally waiting for karlie to choose her because she’s that obsessed with her.

“please don’t ever become a stranger” – why is taylor worrying about this? because the relationship is doomed, and becoming strangers feels like this horrible yet inevitable ending that will be a part of “the last page”

thanks for reading, and sorry about any typos!

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

SUBMISSION

I found this as part of my Insta ask era but let’s look over this for thoughts. Haven’t read it yet but I know anon was stressed it got lost (it did because y’all talk too much but also don’t stop I love it).

#nat talks kaylor #submission

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emelywrites · 4 years

Note

Hey love I hope you are safe💞 I am in love with platonic Sirius Black x (lesbian) reader fan fics where Sirius helps reader to get the girl they are in love with and him being the best boy friend every lesbian wants to stand up for them when ppl talks shit. I don't know if I helped you or you find this lame. Anyway I love your writing and I hope you have a beautiful day❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Hi! Thanks so much. I hope I can do your request justice, because this is so sweet. When I came out as bi, my parents started telling me that it’s just a phase and I just needed to find the right guy. I just want everyone to know that this is a safe space for everyone and I hope that I didn’t completely misrepresent you in this story, so please enjoy! 🏳️‍🌈

Warnings: Language, bad parents, insecurities, angst, slight heteronormative behavior

Best Friends

Sirius and you had known each other since birth. You were both from prestigious pureblood families and your mothers were obsessed with the idea that you would get married one day and have all these perfect pureblood babies. Just before the beginning of your first year you started spending less time with your family, which, consequently, led to you spending less time with the Black-family and therefore Sirius as well. Truth was, you didn’t quite like the concepts of world that you grew up with and even though Sirius was your best friend you were distancing yourself from him, in fear that he was fully indulged in his family’s ideals.

When you entered the Great Hall, you did so on your own. You saw Sirius but he didn’t see you because he had found new friends on the train. And frankly, it had been you who had ignored him for months before. Sirius’ name was called before yours and you wouldn’t look up at him until you heard the hat sorting him into „GRYFFINDOR“. You looked at him and saw the grin spreading on his face. Sirius, your best friend whom you had been to scared to tell your very anti-Slytherin thoughts, was a Gryffindor. Not a Slytherin. You had heard the gasps from everyone in the hall, including your own, when Sirius Black was sorted into bloodtraitor-Gryffindor-House.

Then it was finally your turn (you weren’t awaiting it, whatever was going to happen, you weren’t going to be comfortable). You slowly ascended the stairs, coming to a stop in front of Professor McGonagall who gave you a sympathetic smile when she saw your nervousness. You felt small ease wash over you when she did. The hat was placed on your head when you sat down.

„Y/N Y/L/N, you’re not much of a Slytherin, dear. Your family’s gonna be pissed but you’re without a doubt a GRYFFINDOR!“

Your eyes widened in shock as another round of gasps went through the hall. But when you looked to the Gryffindor table, seeing Sirius cheering the loudest of them all, overpowering the shock, a wide smile spread on your face and you immediately went to him and hugged him. Sirius introduced you to his friends and again, you were as inseparable as ever. Even more so, because now, the cards were on the table. You were on the same page against pureblood-mania and stood through all the bullying and disgracing from your families together.

After you had just gotten close to Sirius again you fell apart a bit again during fifth year. Sirius had become a proper ladies-man. Being one of the oldest boys in the year, and, even you couldn’t deny it, quite a handsome one as well, he had all of the girls running after him. All except you. You were more into the girls that were running after your best friend. But of course you couldn’t tell anyone, especially Sirius, because he didn’t miss a chance to flirt with them.

„Mate“, James said to Sirius one evening in the common room when you weren’t there, „(Y/N)’s like really into you.“

Sirius laughed. „I beg your pardon? (Y/N) can’t be into me.“

„Why not?“, Peter chimed in, „She’s been avoiding you since you’ve been getting all the girls.“

„Exactly. She’s jealous“, James agreed.

„Pretty sure that’s not it“, Remus didn’t even look up from his book to throw in his thought.

„Yeah, (Y/N) and I are like best friends, all friendships have dry patches that doesn’t mean she’s into me“, Sirius thought out loud, „Besides, us being a couple would probably make our parents happy, cause pureblood babies, you know? That wouldn’t fit with the vibe.“

James and Peter looked at him with an „If you say so“-look that prompted Sirius to investigate. One Hogsmeade weekend he took you to the Three Broomsticks. You sat drinking your butterbeers as you were explaining the recent Charms-task to him. You did so rather unenthusiastically which made Sirius believe his friends may have been right. You always used to be excited to be going over Charms-work, especially because you were happy it meant he studied for once.

„(Y/N)“, you looked up at him when he called your name, „Do you have a crush on me?“

Your eyes widened in shock and as they did, his mimicked that. Oh god, he was right. Then you started laughing.

„Merlin, no. No offense, you’re not really my type“, you said through laughter.

„Oh, thank Merlin! That could have ruined our friendship“, he laughed along.

When your laughter died down you spoke up again. „Sorry, I’ve been distanced. I assume this was James’ idea?“, Sirius nodded, „We both know he’s not really good at reading girls. Exhibit A“, you pointed at the corner of the room, where Lily Evans was sitting as James was talking to her, not noticing her obvious disinterest.

Sirius laughed shortly before he answered. „But then, why have you been distanced?“

„I was jealous. All those girls running after you. Some of them, like, super hot and intelligent, dumbing themselves down to appeal to you. And last week you- Last week you were flirting with Maya.“

Sirius threw you a confused glance. He didn’t quite keep up with all the girls he flirted with. There were quite a few. You rolled your eyes.

„She’s a Ravenclaw. We have potions and transfiguration with them. You know, the only two classes where you don’t have all my attention? We’ve been spending a lot of time together, studying and talking and all. I’m-,“ you hesitated, „I have a crush on her.“

Sirius’ eyes widened in realization and when he didn’t answer for about two minutes, tears started collecting in your eyes and you started gathering your things.

„I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have unloaded this on you, just don’t tell-,“

„No, wait“, he caught your wrist and stood up, then he gathered you into a hug, „I’m so happy for you. I mean, proud, I mean, I’m overcome with emotion. Fucking hell, that girl wasn’t into me at all. I’ll gladly be your wingman.“

He grinned at you and you started smiling, too, your tears now flowing out of joy. „Are you serious?“

„Have been, all my life, love. Now let’s get you a date“, he put money on the table before he pulled you out of the Three Broomsticks.

Over the next few weeks Sirius did his best to find out whether you had a chance with Maya and once he was completely sure about it he pushed you into asking her out. Literally. Before Transfiguration class you both spotted her in her usual seat. When she saw you she smiled and waved. You were quite nervous to say the least. Sirius sensed that and took your shoulders from behind, pushing you to sit next to her.

„Maya, (Y/N); (Y/N), Maya, I see you’ve met. You two are, like, really into each other. Sorry for assuming you’re straight, Maya. Accept my best friend as an apology, treat her well“, Sirius patted both your shoulders, before heading off towards the other marauders.

„They grow up so fast“, he sighed, hand over his heart, looking at you proudly.

„So, she wasn’t into you?“, Peter asked.

„Told you so“, Remus answered, before Sirius could.

The word of you and Maya dating spread quickly, with same-sex-couples being rare, even in Hogwarts, and Sirius pointing at you both whenever you did something couple-y, smiling like a proud dad. So with everyone at school knowing it wasn’t long until the word spread to your parents. So one day you received a howler. It immediately sprung open.

„(Y/N) (Y/L/N), we won’t even dare call you that anymore. You are a disgrace, and here we were, thinking you couldn’t get any worse“, your mother’s voice yelled at you, „Get over that phase of yours and then maybe we’ll allow you back into the house“, the letter went up into flames as you stared into space where it had just been floating before you.

„Right so! She deserves much better than being a (Y/L/N). Who’d wanna be one of them? How dare they call you that?“, Sirius immediately spoke up, „Remus, give me parchment and a quill!“

„Sirius, you- you really shouldn’t. It’s just gonna get worse. I’ll just get right back into the closet for the rest of their lives“, you said quietly.

But Sirius wouldn’t have any of it. He wrote a long letter to your parents that you didn’t catch a glimpse of and then you didn’t see him for two days. When you did finally see him he had a smile on his face.

„You and I are moving in“, he said proudly.

„Pardon?“, you asked, looking up from your notes.

„I had some long conversations with Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore and they agree that our homes aren’t safe any longer. The day I let you get back in the closet is the day Merlin shaves, (Y/N). You should be allowed to be yourself, wherever that may be. That’s mostly gonna be Hogwarts for now, but I’ll be damned if you can’t be yourself after graduation. So, if your parents won’t accept you for who you are, screw them. They’d have to see you and Maya. I mean, relationship goals…“

As Sirius went on yet another monologue of naming all the things wonderful about you and your girlfriend, tears started stinging in your eyes. Sirius really was the best friend you could have asked for.

#harry potter #sirius black x reader #sirius black

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

Godīgi sakot, es nezināju, ka šī valoda pastāv, bet ok. Sveiki! Es ceru, ka jums ir laba diena 💙

Firts of all THE SONG JDIDBSIW. I love that movie with my life!!

Lexi is just jeugeuwgw.. I love her A LOT💙

Ok, but Max and Lexi's relationship is gold

I want to know about THAT conversation but I dont!!

"Max knew if he went through with the plan, he would lose David’s love." No. Nop. Not happening please 😭

✨Roman✨

“No, we inherited the need to do dumb shit,” Its in all that gorgeous stupid genes

Those lil shits 😂😂

The way they are all more scared of Anjali lmaoo, can relate tho

Even tho Max makes me want to stab him sometimes, I relate to him in so many levels..

“Was he like this when he was younger too?” “Comatose?” (I feel so bad for laughing😂)

I will say this a thousand times. They are the definition of sibling relationships

I need fanart of the Marilyn Monroe costume

THEM>>>>

I need to see this relationship grow. The are perfect, bonding and shit talking 💙💙

"Ah. Rafael. I get it, Max smiled at his brother. I get why you went crazy for her." THIS. Its the parallels for me!!! The was all the Lightwood-Banes absolutely adore Anjali and undestand why Rafael did everything🥺🥺

“Lex,” Max whistled. “Your upper body strength is insane.” She winked at him and walked through the portal without another word. (I'm so bisexual for them)

“Gotta uphold the Lunatic Lightwood name,” I STAN BEOFRE A GODNESS!!

Belial knows!!

I wont take Max, Gigi and Lexi slander!!

"Phase one: Yeet the cup and the sword out of Idris" Nice plan

"This time he wasn’t confused. This time he wasn’t lost. Max knew exactly what he was, and he wasn’t afraid of himself." WOW. I love him. Also the kinda parallel for when Rafael returned home...

Vxkdvdisbejej the chills!!

Gigi knows what she is doing

I love Roman so much. He is precious and deserves all love💙💙

“You’re not the only one good with illusions,” Fuck you, Belial

Ok, but that image of Max is so damm amazing.

"He looked like he could kill someone right now. But she knew. He was a cinnamon roll. She knew." Gigi is so smart and amazing and knows the real shit

"Phase two: Break Selena’s connection with motherfucking Belial" Still liking the plan

THAT TEAM!!! THEY. I'M SPEECHLESS.

MY PARABATAI FEELS!!

“Where thou climbest, I will climb.” 💙💙💙

GIGI AND LEXI>>>

“Now,” Lexi said. “Now I jump.” (mmm sorry what?)

“Will you tell them I tried my best?” (no, please this hurts. Jdidhei I'm scared)

"And Lexi. Lexi hadn’t been falling." OMG I GET IT NOW WHAT? SHE HAD BEEN FLYING RIGHT??? OMG I GASPED SO LOUD I WOKE UP MY FATHER AND NOW HES ANGRY AT ME BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH WHAT!?!!!

“Alexandra Herondale! Are you fucking flying?!?!” YESS. I KNEW IT FINALLY

"Golden wings threaded with golden feathers, each one delicate and soft." OMG HER>>>

Honeslty if I didn't already know I was bi, she would definetly be my gay awakening

Bloody Herondales indeed

TAKE THAT BELIAL!!

"God, she was so fucking cool." Yes she is!!!!

YES! They got the necklace!! Its just the rune now

"It’s the way they had come into this world – holding onto each other." 🥺🥺🥺

"Fire from heaven. Fire from Raziel. Fire from Lexi." Honelsty after Lexi flying nothing surprises me any longer, but NICE!

YESS. Also, "Heavenly fire" sounds so badass for a reason...

Yup. My heart broke at Selena

Give her a rest fam! She just recovered!!

“Tell me how to kill this son of a bitch.” Yes!! Thats my Selena!! My girl is back!!

"Phase three: Bring Rafael the fuck back to life." With every phase, I fall more in love with them💙

"She felt so disoriented, to be honest." Honey, you were possesed not so long ago...

Ugh, I want to protect Selena!!

Selena asking Rafael to come back!!!🥺🥺

"But Rafael didn’t move." NOW WHAT??

Still loving the phases

"That her body and mind had been used against her will." THIS!!

“Summon him,” she whispered. “I want to be the one who kills him.” (As she deserves!!)

I’m afraid it’s me,” Belial chuckled as he stepped out of the pentagram. (I mean... I didn't expect less)

OMG not Max and Gigi!!

“I’ll speak however the fuck I want,” Selena hissed. “Move.” (THATS IT LOVE!!)

Dont fucking call her that!!

I'm so fucking disgusted right now I cant even put it in words!!

"The men who had looked at Selena her whole life. The men who had made her shiver in disgust and tremble in fear." FUCK THEM ALL. I'M READY TO KILL

“Let her go.” A voice so low and so dangerous that it even made Belial freeze above her (HOLY FUCKING SHIT)

“No means no, you piece of shit,” Rafael growled and punched Belial in the FACE. (FIRST OF ALL YESS. NO MEANS NO. SECOND OF ALL HOLY SHIT RAFAEL THAT WAS THE PERFECT RETURN!!!!)

Rafael conforting Selena>>>>

FUCK YOU BELIAL

Rafael you missed a couple of things...

“What in the avatar the last airbender hell is going on?” Bro I have been here the entire time and I can’t completely understand

“Thanks, blue!” Max and Rafael supremacy

Girls with swords indeed. Phase five is the best.

"Aww. Is Big Bad Belial afraid of a shortsword?” they have no fucking filter and I love them

Omg omg omg yesss Olivia!!!!

Love the Capitan-America-in-endgame-entrance she pulled there!!

“Wow,” Olivia said, putting her sword on her shoulder. “Even Cortana can’t cut through this bullshit.” (have I mentioned that I’m in love with her?? 💙💙)

“That’s for being a sexist, homophobic piece of shit,” Olivia hissed at him. “It’s the 21st century. Get woke, bitch.” (THE satisfaction bro!!!)

Oh shit, now what?? Again?

Nice souls. They pulled a Galaga there

“Michael,” she whispered softly. (love the irony. Still hurts like hell🙂)

Olivia supremacy!!

THAT IS THE MOST SATISFYING ENDING OF THE WHOLE WORLD!! WOW.

I'm sitting here eating chantilly with chocolate looking at the screen without words so you can tell I loved the chapter 💙💙 Gigi, Max, Lexi, Rafael, Olivia and Selena have my whole heart. Now the conversation when they return will be legendary😂

Ir pulksten 1:00, un man vēl ir jāmācās un jāstrādā, tāpēc labāk sāc. Uz redzēšanos!💙💜

okay Latvian is beautiful! I love seeing these different alphabets. Thank so much for sharing them with me 💙

I'm soooo glad you loved this chapter and our badasss gang. See you next week!!! Hope you get to rest after finishing all the work!!!

Here is a meme about chapter 21 lol

#lbaf

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