#i know this might not seem that important. but it is to me i think

[cutetanuki-chan]

sometimes I see people being confused where alectostasia ship came from so here's a little bit of run down

I'm not really good with words so it might be clunky

what we know from the text

Anastasia tries to achieve 'perfect lyctorhood', something goes wrong during her ascension, John kills Samael, Anastasia fails her attempt

Anastasia moves to the ninth, continues working on the house or only founding it at that time

John asks Anastasia to help build the tomb 'I built that tomb with Anastasia, designed every inch of it.'

somewhere between working on it and Alecto's entombment, Alecto and Anastasia make a vow where Alecto basically swears as a cavalier to her 'Alecto said, I remember my vows. As I swore to Anastasia I swear to you. I am in your service until you bid me the favour, and whatsoever you appoint I shall perform, and consider the vow rendered. This is what I promised, until such a time as you deal with me as you see fit.'

as John leading Alecto to the tomb, she asks to see Anastasia 'She had said, There are almost no beautiful things left. Where is Anastasia? Let me talk to Anastasia.'

presumable Anastasia is the one to inflict to the ninth house importance of keeping her bloodline and worshiping of the tomb through all of those years

Anastasia's bones are in the tomb 'She looked back beyond, and she saw Anastasia, tucked where nobody would find her: Anastasia, all bones. Not really Anastasia. But Anastasia’s body without the meat on it, snuggled right into the curve of the rock, ready to close the door whenever it was opened. She remembered Anastasia.'

Alecto immediately getting chill after tasting Harrow's blood 'The child was silent; but her blood was on Alecto’s lips, and through that blood Alecto was made to understand what it was, and was astonished exceedingly. Alecto put away wrath and said: Thou art the blood of the tomb-keeper.'

Alecto saying sorry for Samael

the implications

the vow on itself is very interesting, at first we all know how usually normal cavalier and necromancer relationships are. then for Alecto to comply to that, indicates she should be pretty trusting of Anastasia, and their relationships at least somehow better than with other lyctors who were terrified of her

then there's also the tombkeeper blood thing, what serves as a check note for Alecto after waking up, and means the initial purpose of the ninth house was actually waiting for rock to roll away

and one part of the vow seems to imply 'if anyone beside a tombkeeper wake you, slay them as they came to hurt you', as could hinted on a protection from other lyctors who wanted to kill Alecto? (Then Alecto remembered the vow, and turned back upon the altar to face the second child and raised the sword with wrath in her heart, for they meant to bring destruction upon her.)

then the matter of Anastasia's bones laying in the tomb next to the rock. not sure if it's just her skeleton or she made herself a some construct mechanism from her bones. and not clear if she got entombed on her own volition or John closed them both there, but being entombed together five feet apart cause we are not gay

there's also some oddness in Alecto immediately after waking saying she's sorry for Samael, but I won't go into that here, anyway Anastasia was trying to find a better way to lyctorhood and I think in her more close relationships with Alecto she figured out something that John wasn't telling them, before or after her ascension

and some theories

I think I first heard this theory from @/mayasaura, that ninth house tradition of telling secrets while submerged in the salt water could've corelate with Anastasia trying to have a talk like that with Alecto since she feels the most at ease in the salt water, so means pool time for alectostasia too

another one that I really like but not sure how much legs it actually would have in canon, one of the reasons Nona was so enamored with her body cause Harrow is a spitting image of Anastasia, first saw @/corvophobia talking about it

coming back to Harrow, could there be anything more to her taking immediate affection to the Body a la some fuckery with Anastasia's spirt/tombkeeper's blood

more people explained it better, I try to reblog most of the theories in my side blog, you can check it out there but some of it explicit just in case

anyway in conclusion, as I keep procrastinating with my work, I don't think they were making out 24/7 in Canaan house in canon but something for sure happened there between them

[yoongelectric]

Drunk in love — LN4

~ believe when i say that you’ll know once you taste it

• part 1

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

summary: the night where you and lando just wanted to forget about each other but ended up getting closer than ever

genre: smut, angst, fluff, friends to lovers

warnings: curse words, jealousy, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, oral sex, breeding kink

notes: english isn’t my first language so i’m sorry ig there’s any mistakes. i might have gotten a little excited with the lenght of this fic, part 2 will be shorter

The music plays loudly within the walls of your room as you and your best friend get ready for the night. After hours and hours of trying to convince you, Olivia had finally made it, not that you weren't a party girl, in fact you adored it, the feeling of being drunk, the people, the dancing, the music, flirting with strangers, you used to spend the whole week looking forward to go to your favorite club but for months now all those good times have lost all meaning when all you can see is your best friend going from girl to girl every weekend without any type of remorse. And for months you’ve been trying to do the same thing to stop thinking about him, only achieving the opposite.

You can’t blame those girls, in fact, you understand them perfectly, not just because Lando is rich and famous, that's the least important thing really, but in any crowd he's always the first man you see, he's handsome, attractive, even magnetic, the kind of man no girl would ever say no to, and you were painfully aware of that, because of course, you were one of those girls who could never say no to him.

That's what bothers you the most, because no matter how many dates you go on, how many strangers you flirt or sleep with, how much time you go without seeing him or speaking to him, you always notice how they are not him, how they don't have his laugh, his eyes, his charisma, his charm, his way of hugging you, his way of making you forget everything and everyone, no matter how good they are in bed, none of them can make you feel the warmth that you feel when he simply holds your hand or rests his hand on your waist to help you walk through a room full of people, and it's already getting tiring to hope that at some point that's going to change.

While you finish applying the sluttiest red lipstick you have, and check that you are not missing anything in your purse, you look at your outfit in the mirror, a little black dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, actually, if you are not careful you can flash anyone at any moment, you feel attractive, you know you look pretty, but you also know that neither this dress, nor the makeup you spent so much time on, nor your perfect hair will be enough for Lando to look at you the way you want.

Olivia seems to notice the sad expression on your face, "y/n don't make that face, if Lando is stupid enough to not make a move on you then he doesn't deserve you to spend another second thinking about him" she says handing me a shot of vodka that I swallow without hesitation

“Do you think I'm in love with him because I want to, Olivia? If it was up to me I would only see him as the friend he sees in me, that's what he wants, but it seems I can't.”

“if you want to believe that he sees you only as a friend then go on, i think he’s just a pussy” Olivia shouts from the door as I grab my keys and follow her.

-

Lando stared at his glass of whiskey, lost in thought, looking at the time on his watch from time to time thinking about when you would arrive, he was dying to see you, he didn't know if he was imagining it but he had this feeling that you’d been avoiding him all week, you didn't answer his messages, and if he called you, you quickly ended the conversation saying that you were busy, you had always been very bad at lying, who can be busy on a Saturday morning? He knew that his doubts would be solved at any moment and oh how he wished it was just his head fucking with him.

In the distance he saw a girl who he could have sworn was you, but after looking at her for a few seconds he slapped himself internally for having mistaken you for someone else, how could you be that girl? She doesn't have your grace, nor the light that seems to follow you everywhere making you look untouchable, the people around her don't turn around automatically and he doesn't feel that comfort in his heart when looking at her, but what's the point anyway? None of them make him feel anything like that, none of them are like you and he knows it.

He knows that you are the girl for him, he has known it since he won his first race and as soon as he crossed the finish line the first thing he thought was if you would be proud of him. He knows that he will probably love you all his life and that without you his destiny is to wait for someone to entertain him enough to not think about you all the time. He knows how sad that is and he's not sure if he can continue like this for much more, but he can't condemn you to what a relationship with him means, he barely has time for himself and how could he try to have a relationship with you if he can't give you all the time you deserve? How can he try to be with you if it means you have to be moving from one side of the world to the other all the time or not see him as often as he would like?

If everything was different he would have jumped right into your arms months ago, but you deserve much more than what he can give you.

Max's voice brings him out of his thoughts telling him something painfully true "so you’re already looking for a girl who looks like Y/N to spend the night?" How much more time can he spend trying to find you in another person? probably a lot less than he thinks.

-

He was hypnotized, watching you dance with your friends, running your hands over your body, laughing and looking so sexy, since you arrived he couldn't stop looking at you, a feeling between how bothered he was by that sinful dress that hugged your body in all the right places and the concern for the cold greeting he had received, he was gripping his glass tightly and using all his will not to grab you by the waist and pull you against him, he wanted to ask you the reason behind your actions, how were you able to stay away from him, when it felt impossible for him to do that.

It was then that he saw him, tall, with a bright smile, just the type of boy you've always liked, he approached you and spoke to you so carefree, calm, without the all the nerves Lando felt every time he had to get too close to you. He doesn't know what the boy said to you that made your laugh echo throughout all the VIP area but he was sure as hell it couldn't be that funny, how could your eyes shine like that looking at someone that two seconds ago you didn't know existed? how could you look at a stranger the way Lando had always wanted for you to look at him? oh how oblivious he was

As soon as he tried to get up to stop the situation, he felt the hand of the same girl he had seen earlier on his shoulder and as some type of divine signal it was then that he came to his senses. If he really loved you, he should let you live your own life.

Back to where you were, the nameless boy grinded against you while grabbing your hip and the two of you danced to the rhythm of the music, he was cute, sure, he was nice and funny, but in your drunken state your head seemed to betray you making you think about Lando over and over again, each song seemed to be talking about him, about you, about the two of you, and just when you were trying to get away from the boy it occurred to you to look at him, At this point you should be used to it, glass in hand, a girl on his lap, kissing so passionately it made you want to cry.

You were fucking sick of it, sick of the looks of pity from all your friends, of not being able to get mad at the girl, or Lando, you could only be mad at yourself for having these stupid feelings and not being able to settle for his friendship that at the end of the day was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and you really don't know how or when but you were glued to a wall kissing the guy, he was grabbing your ass tightly and biting your lip while you were pulling his hair trying to understand the situation you found yourself in, with far too many drinks on you, the jealousy, shame and unreciprocated feelings you felt for your best friend, you decided to lose yourself in the touch of the boy you had just met.

When the girl moved away from him to take a breath he saw you, your hair messy, your dress rolled up and that son of a bitch's hands grabbing you just like he would like to do, he didn't even have the decency to take you somewhere more private, but again, who was he to get involved in what you were doing if he knew that he couldn't give you what you deserved anyway, so he grabbed the girl's face and continued kissing her, but he couldn't stop thinking about you, the weight of the girl on his lap made him wish it was you, Lando wanted you to grab his hair just like you did with the boy you were kissing, he knew he could make you feel much better than him, he would take you somewhere empty because only he should be the only one to see you this way, he would grab you by the waist and pull you against him, he would kiss you with so much feelings that you wouldn't doubt his love for you, the erection that grew underneath his pants made him imagine how good you would feel rubbing yourself on him and he was sure it would feel like heaven listening to you moaning his name when he went down to kiss your neck.

“fuck, y/n just like that, baby” he didn't expect that it was going to be your name the one that escaped his lips.

The look of confusion and shock from the girl who was sitting on his lap brought him back to reality, and he doesn't know if he was suddenly sober or if all the alcohol that was in his system hit him at once but his body, his mind and all his senses told him to look for y/n, so apologizing to the girl and getting her off of him, he began to look for his love.

He looked around but there was no sign of her, her friends were still dancing in the same place but she and the boy he had seen her with earlier had disappeared, he asked Max but he told him that he had lost sight of them ago. For a while, when he saw Olivia, he realized that if anyone could help him, it was her.

he got into the crowd of dancing girls trying to get her friend's attention, "Olivia, hey, where did y/n go?" He said when the girl finally saw him

"Lando, I think you should leave her alone, she's busy" your friend knew that today you just needed to forget about him.

"Did she leave with him? Just tell me if she's still here, please" Lando was desperate, he feared that if he didn't find you now he would never have the courage to confess his feelings to you again

Olivia finally gave up "she just told me she was going to his house, I don't think they're gone yet" she took a deep breath and added "she's trying to forget you, I know deep down you know that, don't do anything if you know you're gonna hurt her, Lando."

"Thank you, i promise i will not" he said before running to the club’s door

You don't know why you agreed to this, but you found yourself walking towards the car of the boy you just met today, do you really want this? you don't know, in your head you just think that maybe this is it, maybe he can make you forget about Lando, in fact, you should be happy, he is cute, hot, funny, attentive and respectful, why aren't you happy? And why do you feel so relieved when you feel a hand on your shoulder stopping you?

"y/n, please don't go with him" you turn around when you hear the familiar voice and you feel your stomach do a thousand flips when you see the person you've been thinking about all night.

You pause to look at him before speaking, he looks agitated, in a hurry even, as if he was going to run out of time, but even in that state he is the most attractive man you have ever seen, some buttons on his shirt are undone showing his chest, as if the slightly see-through fabric wasn't enough, his tanned skin glowing under the night lights and you don't understand why he has to come out of nowhere now to ruin anyone else for you.

"Lando, is everything okay?" Your voice denotes concern and Lando just wants to have you in his arms.

"lov- sorry, y/n" he corrected himself "don't go with him, I need to talk to you, please, I need you to give me a chance"

"what are you talking about?" Your words came out like a whisper, you had to be misunderstanding him, or not?

"Sorry mate, this isn't your fault, but I love her, she's the love of my life, I can't let her go."

Suddenly you remembered the boy who was there with you, you looked over your shoulder, you only saw confusion in his gaze and you felt sorry for how he had ended up in this situation just because of bad luck, you shared a look and the boy understood that he had to leave.

"Lando, if this is some kind of joke or you're just doing it because that girl rejected you, I want you to know that it's not funny."

Lando felt a pang of pain in his chest, what had he been doing wrong all this time for you to believe him capable of playing with you like that?

"this isn’t a joke, y/n, I'm tired of pretending that I don't just love you, baby." he said taking a few steps until he was right in front of you "I don't know what I did for you to not want to see me or talk to me, but let me fix it, even if you don't feel the same way, I need you to treat me like before, I miss you love"

"I was just trying to forget you, Lando" the tears began to fall down your face and you didn't know if you felt shame, joy, anger or relief, if he felt the same, why had he made you see him with all those girls before? Why hadn't he spoken sooner? Why hadn't you spoken sooner?

you felt his lips on yours, and for the second time that night you were kissing someone, but this time everything made sense, you could only think about lando, you were right where you wanted to be, you were aware of his touch in every place where his body made contact with yours and time seemed to have stopped, you were addicted to the feeling of finally having him all to yourself and you didn't want to stop even to take a breath or move to another place.

He felt the same way and with all his strength he moved away just enough to mumble "let's get out of here."

-

The car ride to your house felt like a fever dream, you wanted to talk to each other but you had so many ideas in your head that you didn't know what to say first, you wanted to touch each other but you didn't want to spend another minute without being in a place just for the you two, so all you did was share looks of love and happy giggles

You two were finally home and it seemed like you were glued to each other, the heat in the room was becoming more and more unbearable as you kissed, grabbed and caressed each other, thanks to muscle memory you managed to get to your room and Lando just pushed you to the bed before climbing into it straddling you

"So pretty, baby, I can't believe I finally have you" he said kissing your neck and lifting your dress asking permission to take it off.

You nodded silently and Lando wasted no time in removing the garment that covered your body. He began to run kisses and licks over your shoulders, collarbones, arms and stomach until he left you desperate and trembling beneath him. You knew he was enjoying it but you had waited so long for this that you couldn't stand him not touching you right where you wanted, losing your patience you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra.

“nuh huh, that's my job, precious, let me enjoy you just the way I want” He said kissing, sucking and biting your neck, his words sending shivers to the wet areas of your skin.

"Lando, please, you're going to have plenty of time to enjoy me in every way you want, just fuck me already, I can't wait." As you spoke you couldn't help but arch your back when lando gently bit your collarbone making a moan escape your mouth.

you heard him laugh cockily "plenty of time? does that mean we're going on a second date?" and just when you thought about slapping him for his bad joke you felt him cup your pussy relieving half of the tension you felt.

He lived to please you and if you wanted to get to the point that's what he would do, he quickly got rid of your bra attacking one of your nipples with his tongue, circling the muscle over it before taking it all in his mouth, moaning softly into it, after a while he moved to your other nipple, repeating his actions, but paying attention to the previous one with his big, rough, veiny hands, you were a moaning mess, and every once in a while you had to remind yourself that this was really happening and it wasn't a product of your imagination.

"mmh Lando that feels so good, please don't stop" you said trying to reach his member to touch it over his clothes, but you instantly felt him pin your arms over your head

"not yet, y/n tonight is all about you, let me make you feel good" he said moving down to your hips leaving kisses right on the waistline of your panties

He stopped to look at the lace panties you were wearing, black and all see-through, they were sexy but at the same time elegant and Lando felt like he would faint right there.

"these are so pretty, it's a shame i have to take them off," he said, taking your underwear on each side and removing it in one go.

It was at that moment that he saw you naked for the first time, you looked so hot but also innocent, the look of desire and at the same time love in your eyes could not be compared to anything that Lando had seen before, and he couldn't believe he had been missing on this for so long.

He ran a hand over your wet center and hissed at the sensation.

"baby, please do something, I'm going crazy" you begged, pushing your hips against his hand, trying to get more friction.

"well, since you're in such a hurry, god, we have to work on your patience, love." Without warning, Lando put a finger inside your hole and at the same time went down to lick your clit, while leaving his finger still inside you, he licked your bundle of nerves from side to side, up and down and circling his tongue against you, the euphoria you felt at that moment didn’t allow you to speak, the only thing that came out of your mouth were desperate breaths and moans of his name repeatedly. Every time you dared to look between your legs and saw your friend's piercing eyes you felt yourself embarrassingly quick getting closer to the edge.

"Lando, I need more, please, I want to cum."

so you felt a second finger inside you, he began to move them at a soft and strong pace, curving them inside you in the most delicious way, it didn't take long for you to finish all over his mouth and fingers, with a scream of his name and pulling him against you by his hair, he continued sucking your clit until you pushed his head due to overstimulation.

“You taste so good, my love, please let me do it again” he said kissing your inner thighs trying to open your legs again.

"another time, babe, I want you to fuck me, I need to feel you" you said pulling him from his shirt, you were feeling a little self conscious as you noticed how he was fully dressed and you were naked in front of him, so you unbuttoned his pants begging him to take them off, he, always willing to please you, pulled them down at the same time with his boxers, letting his dick come out freely in front of your face.

None of all the dirty nights you spent thinking about him could prepare you for what was in front of your eyes, his member, the perfect length, thick and veiny, with his tip all wet, seemed to beg you to put it in your mouth.

And that’s what you did, kneeling on the bed in front of him, licking the tip vaguely and without wasting much time you started sucking on it. Lando grabbed your hair in a ponytail and allowed himself to enjoy the heat of your mouth.

You wanted to make him feel good, it was the only thing you could think at that moment, and when you looked up and saw his face contorted with pleasure, his head thrown back and tasted his salty precum you could only moan in satisfaction, the entire moment made you so wet again and your hole clenched around nothing.

Against all his desire and will, Lando removed his dick from your mouth, it felt so good, but he needed to fuck you, he needed to feel your wet walls around him, so once again he pushed you on the bed and put your legs on his shoulders.

"Are you ready?" The question felt like a joke, you had been ready for months.

"yes, so ready, please fuck me"

You felt his member press against your pussy and the wetness made it so easy for him to slide in all at once.

Both of you moaned in unison as you felt that you were finally where you belong, Lando stayed still for a moment to let you get used to the size and to take a breathe so he wouldn’t cum on the spot.

When he saw your desperate face and felt how you pushed your hips against him, Lando began to fuck you without mercy, hand on your neck choking you just the way you like it, grunts and moans escaping from his mouth, turning you on more and more.

"baby, please, I'm so close, you fuck me so so good, I love your dick so much, please" you didn't know what you were saying, you just knew that you didn't want anyone but him.

Lando couldn't help but laugh at your state, but he wasn't much better than you, feeling his orgasm getting closer, he removed his hand from your neck and began to draw circles on your clit, his thrusts were erratic and the trembling in his legs let you know that he wasn't going to last much longer.

"land-o, baby, cum inside, I need you to fill me" and with those simple words the two of you climaxed at the same time, white dots filled your vision and you could swear it was the longest orgasm you’ve ever had, when you came back to your senses, your friend removed his member from your hole and turned your positions so that you were on top of him.

"We should clean up" you said, ignoring your tiredness, trying to be responsible.

"Let's stay like this for a while, I need to hug you, hold you close" despite his tired tone you could hear him talking to you with a smile.

A few minutes passed and just when Lando was about to fall asleep, your words brought him out of his state.

"You know we'll have to talk about this tomorrow, right?"

And just like that, he remembered each and every reason why he hadn't done this before.

[stllmnstr]

something old, something new

hello have a 2.3k drabble about Heeseung still having feelings for his ex heavily inspired by the above behind the scenes no doubt mv pics and based on this anon prompt sent to me:

this was supposed to be short but I got carried away and ended up writing 2.3k on my PHONE in an hour so please excuse any typos 😭

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

Lee Heeseung loves weddings.

When he admits this to people, which is in and of itself a fairly rare occasion, they assume it’s for all of the usual reasons.

The open bar, the well curated playlist, the free food... After all, those are the typical things men in their mid twenties tend to enjoy. And Heeseung always nods along. Forces a laugh whenever his conversation partner cracks another age old joke about getting a little too tipsy on the dance floor.

Besides, it’s not like he’s immune to baser pleasures. At twenty-five, Heeseung does genuinely enjoy eating well and getting drunk on someone else’s dime.

But if he digs a little deeper, is a little more honest with himself, the real reason he loves weddings so much is the romance of it all.

A white dress thats been agonized over and alternated to perfection. A cake thats been taste-tested and intentionally designed with the lucky couple in mind. A venue that likely cost an arm and a leg, but it’s worth it, because it’s the place where two people get to display the love they have for each other in front of everyone that’s important in their lives.

And Jay, he thinks, has outdone them all. The ballroom Heeseung steps into with perfectly shined shoes is jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Crystal chandeliers bathe the high ceilinged room in soft, warm light that almost glows like candles at dusk.

The aisle separates two generously sized sections of seating from one another. Each table is laid with a crease less cream colored tablecloth and a bouquet of flowers that Heeseung doesn’t want to guess the price of. It’s stunning. It’s perfect.

And Jay, Heeseung’s best friend of thirteen years, deserves nothing less.

Jake seems to agree. Coming to stand next to Heeseung, he jerks his chin towards the door that leads to the neighboring room. “I just heard from a very trustworthy source that the open bar starts at 1 pm sharp,” he grins.

Heeseung has a sneaking suspicious that this trustworthy source is Sunghoon, which means it’s likely to be incorrect. Besides, booze isn’t what he’s here for.

“Hopefully not,” Heeseung nudges Jake’s shoulder, “since no one wants to watch you stumble down the aisle.”

“At least I’m just a groomsman.” Jake shrugs. “You, on the other hand, Mr. Best Man, have to be on your best behavior. Besides, I can handle my alcohol.”

Heeseung’s lips flatten. “I have several videos that prove otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jake waves his palm. “I’ll be good. I promise. No shots until after the ceremony.”

Heeseung just rolls his eyes. His younger friend might be a little more lax when it comes to conducting himself in public, but Heeseung isn’t actually worried. This is Jay’s wedding, after all. And no matter how much Jake and Sunghoon enjoy a good party, they also know how to take things seriously when it matters.

For a moment, Jake just looks around the room, taking it in like Heeseung had a few minutes prior. Similar actions, different conclusions. Jake doesn’t comment on the lighting or the tablecloths or even the romance. Instead, he says, “I can’t believe Jay’s actually getting married.”

“Yeah,” Heeseung breathes. Jay is the first in their friend group to officially leave bachelor-hood, and it does feel a bit strange to bear witness to. “Me neither.”

Jake is still shaking his head. “And he’s the first one out of all of us. That’s almost weirder. You know, we always thought it would be –”

Remembering himself, Jake lets the sentiment die on his lips.

It doesn’t matter, though. Heeseung already knows what he was going to say.

We always thought it would be you.

Four long years ago, at twenty-one, Heeseung had felt far too young for marriage. But that didn’t stop him from imagining what you’d look like in a white dress. What flavor of wedding cake the two of you would select from the box of samples. What overpriced venue you would decide to officially intertwine your lives in.

It didn’t stop him from tucking away a small, velvet box in the back of his drawer for safekeeping. From fantasizing about kneeling in front of you and finally sliding a gorgeous, sparking ring right where he wanted it to belong.

It didn’t stop him from making promises and plans. Adjustments to his life just to make sure there was always space for you.

But one year later, the box and the ring inside were still tucked away. And the love Heeseung kept safe suddenly had no place to go.

He told his friends it was mutual, that you’d made the decision together. But Heeseung never wanted to let go. Even if a job opportunity meant you had to move across the country. Even if it made no logical sense for him to follow when he was still finishing his degree.

It was circumstances, he explained to his friends, to his family. Not anything either of you did wrong.

But alone, surrounded by the four walls of his bedroom and the overwhelming clamor of his own thoughts, Heeseung just cried. Sobbed. The kind of tears that left him gasping for air and with a throb behind his temple.

Because he knew that he never would have done that to you. He would have turned down the job, would have found a way to make long distance work, would have transferred to another university to be close to you even if it wasn’t logical.

He would have done it, the big romantic gesture that gives the rom-com a happy ending and signals to the production team that it’s time to roll the credits.

But you didn’t. When he suggested long distance, you just sighed. And there were tears in your eyes too, but there was no fight.

So Heeseung, despite every bone in his body screaming at him not to, let you go.

And now, three years later, he’s about to watch his best friend get married and pretend it doesn’t sting. He’s happy for Jay. He is. But the selfish parts of him will always wish he was the one waiting at the end of the aisle instead. For you.

The universe has never made a habit of bending to his desires, though, and he fulfills his role as best man well. The ceremony goes off without a hitch, and Jake is appropriately steady-footed in his role as a groomsman.

The white dress is gorgeous. The cake is delicious. The venue is perfect. Whatever romance is, Jay and his fiancée — no, his wife — have captured it well.

Despite his earlier words, Heeseung makes a home for himself at the aforementioned open bar the second the ceremony is over. Knocking back another swig of whiskey, he appreciates the slight burn. At least it’s in his throat this time, instead of his heart. And at least it’s induced by alcohol instead of misplaced jealousy.

But he must have had one too many drinks, because for a fleeting moment, he swears that the late arrival that makes a hesitant entrance into the reception room is—

No.

There’s no way.

You only knew Jay because you knew Heeseung, and those flowers withered three long years ago. You have no reason to be here now.

But then he hears it, and oh the lurch in his heart hurts just as bad as it did the first time. Because despite the improbability of it all, that’s your voice that floats above the music and exchanged pleasantries with another guest. Even after all the time that’s passed, Heeseung would know it anywhere. Could pick it out of any crowd.

He turns to you slowly, as if he can delay the inevitable just a little longer. As soon as his eyes land on you, he realizes his mistake. He shouldn’t have looked at you at all, should have just slid off the bar stool and ran in the other direction because it still hurts.

You’re three years older, and the time has been good to you. The evening dress you wear hangs from your body in a way that only reminds him of what you look like beneath it, of the way running his hands and his lips and his love over the skin you conceal used to feel like second nature. The way you used to play with his hair with his head in your lap, trading small moments of intimacy after a long day.

It hurts. It aches and it stings and it burns.

He has to get out of here. He has to leave. Now.

Not caring if he’s making a scene, Heeseung stands from the barstool. The only reason he tries to be somewhat discreet is to avoid the heat of your gaze.

All the way to the door on the opposite side of the room, he doesn’t turn back. Not once. On the other side of the door, he lets his body go limp against the solid surface beneath his spine, just for a moment. He exhales a long held breath.

But the air is still stifling, even as he loosens the tie at his neck. Straightening back to his full height, he turns down a short hallway until he arrives at the small outdoor balcony he noticed earlier.

The air outside is cold, at least. Fresh.

On the horizon, the sun spends its last few moments of the day painting the sky in gorgeous, golden hues. Heeseung squints, but he doesn’t look away. Hands wrapped around the bannister that lines the balcony, he sags into himself.

Shoulders hunched, he forces a long inhale into his lungs. And then he releases it. His breath is a pattern he can cling to, something steady that tethers him back to reality. Something to focus on that isn’t the war in his mind.

But peacetime is only an illusion. After a handful of quiet minutes, he hears the door open behind him.

“Oh,” you startle. He knows it’s you, even from just one syllable. “Sorry, I didn’t realize someone was out here already. I’ll just…” Your words trail off into silence, but Heeseung doesn’t hear retreating footsteps, doesn’t hear the door close again. After another stilted moment, what he hears is, “Heeseung?”

Your voice is small. As if you can apologize just by being gentle. As if he’s a wounded animal you don’t want to startle.

And Heeseung, despite himself, does feel a bit like a kitten left out in the rain when he finds it in himself to turn and face you.

The only word he says is your name. His tone is steady, even. More so than he thought he was capable of. But he’s looking at you now too, and his eyes have never been good at hiding secrets.

“I…” You trail off again. You’re at a loss too. “How are you?”

“Don’t do that,” Heeseung shakes his head.

“I’m sorry,” you retreat immediately. But Heeseung remembers when you used to argue, when you used to fight back. When you valued the strength of your relationship over his wounded pride.

“Don’t be,” Heeseung shakes his head again. “You made your choice, so stick to it. You don’t get to…” He screws his eyes shut for a moment, fist clenching at his side. Opening his eyes again, he matches your gaze. “You don’t get to leave me and then apologize for it.”

Your breath hitches, but you don’t miss a beat. “I meant for intruding,” you tell him. “I was apologizing for disturbing you.”

But you remember how he used to love making space for you in his life. How his plans were your plans and his time alone on a balcony would only be made better if you were there, too.

And you still remember the day you were inspired by a strong bout of spring fever, how you dedicated an entire afternoon to deep cleaning.

You still remember the small, velvet box you found.

You didn’t open it, but you didn’t have to. The small, nondescript container scared you enough. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to marry Heeseung. You already had Pinterest boards full of white dresses and three-tier cakes and stunning venues. Suits that you thought would bring out his best features.

But you’d also just gotten the news of your promotion. Across the country. You didn’t know how to tell him, and you had less of an idea how to leave him.

But you knew you had to. He would follow you, if you let him. You were sure of it. But he was enrolled in the best university for his program, and you watched him fight tooth and nail to earn his spot there.

Heeseung was a bright light, a beacon of good things, and if you were honest with yourself, you felt like his commitment to you was something that only weighed him down.

He was an adult, too. A young one, yes, but a full, grown person all the same. Perfectly capable of making his own decisions, but you took that from him anyway.

And now, three years later, you can still read him like an open book. There’s hurt in his gaze, pain that lingers even now. There’s resentment, too, and you can’t blame him for it.

I still love you, you want to tell him. Because it’s true. Because you do. Because you can see it in his eyes, too.

But you’ve always been better at holding your tongue than him.

Instead, you turn on your heel, planning to exit the way you came.

Fingers around the door handle, the sound of your name stops you.

It sounds like he’s begging, like he’s pleading, and you can’t bear to turn and see the results of your devastation as surely as you hear them.

Instead, you remain motionless. You squeeze your eyes shut as tightly as you can.

And then, so faintly it’s almost lost to the wind, he says, “Stay. Please.”

.....

thanks for reading! send me a drabble prompt here if you'd like!

[princessfoxington]

Spoilers for Poppy Playtime Chapter 4!

Do not click read more if you haven't seen or played Chapter 4 yet!

Me and my sister watched 8-bit Ryan play chapter 4, and here's what we got from it!

This game is getting darker and more morbid with each chapter being released! I mean, look at the body count we've got in this chapter!!!!

Both Pianosaurous and Yarnaby were robbed of potential. They trolled us with Pianosaurous's introduction in which he's killed by Doey 5 seconds after we get to see him! and Yarnaby was promoted the most for this chapter, but he didn't get much screen time or have any important role!

Harley Sawyer A.K.A The Doctor is a spectacular villain, and (honestly kinda hot) WHAT? NOTHING! SHUT UP!

I lost my shit when I found out Doey the Doughman is voiced by non other than Michael Kovach! Who also voices: Jax from TADC, Rocky Rickaby from Lackadaisy, Angel Dust from The Hazbin Hotel Pilot, N from Murder Drones, and The Puppet guy from Billie Bust Up. ( I know the puppets name, I just don't know how to spell it and I'm too lazy to search up.)

I hate the fact that The crew behind Poppy Playtime keeps introducing us to lovable characters and then killing them off minutes later!!!! I'M NOT OVER DOGDAY AND I WILL NEVER BE OVER DOEY!!!! 😢

I realize The Player has quite a body count if you think about it: Mommy Long-Legs, Miss Delight, Catnap, Harley Sawyer, and Doey The Doughman! ( I don't really think Yarnaby counts)

I feel like when we finally meet The Prototype, not only will he be terrifying as fuck, but he might pull this "You're just as awful as I am, so you might as well join me" thing on us.

I think we all knew Ollie was The Prototype in disguise. However, The Prototype did mention that there used to be an Ollie. Either he killed Ollie years ago, Or he meant is as a way of saying the boy he was before is gone. Maybe he used to be Ollie, or maybe I'm crazy!

My sweet Kissy Missy! 💗 I'm so glad she's alive, but I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up sacrificing herself for us in the next chapter. After all, she's pretty much the only one we have left to trust.

I feel bad for Poppy, but I also think she's a bit selfish and not empathetic as she was planning on sacrificing innocent loves (and even herself) just to kill the prototype! She's scared, I know that, but she didn't seem to care about The Player, Kissy, Doey, or anyone in safe haven.

Doey's monster form is sad to look at knowing that he is not one entity of a child, but three: Mathew, Kevin, and Jack. We know how Jack became part of Doey, but I'm not sure how the other two children were added into him.

WE ALL KNEW!!!! WE ALL FUCKING KNEW THAT HUGGY WUGGY WAS ALIVE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH-

He looks like he has the same injuries as Kissy. He even lost an arm or maybe just a hand. I almost had a thought that maybe He and Kissy or the same, but than I realized how stupid that is! I tend to overthink details when I'm excited!!!!

One more thing, poor Riley.....😭

Well, now we've got to wait another year for the next chapter of Poppy Playtime. Do you think next chapter will be the last?

[antifainternational]

This month, we're launching the Anti-Fascist Action Of The Month Challenge, where we call on you to take an anti-fascist action! February's challenge: Show Them Where You Stand! Wear an anti-fascist pin, patch, shirt, or hat. Put up an anti-fascist poster or sign. Fly an anti-fascist flag. Do something to show people that you oppose fascism and stand with the people targeted by fascists.

This action may seem small and insignificant, but it does three important things:

It tells fascists and far-right goons that there is opposition in the area, which may be enough to make them think twice about taking action in your community.

It also lets the people in your community who are targets of fascist abuse and violence that they have allies and supporters nearby who will back them up if they need help.

It encourages other people who feel the same way you do to be open, public, and vocal about their opposition to bigotry and fascism.

But Is It Safe? We don’t know you or where you live, so we’re going to trust you to do what you feel comfortable with here. That said, we asked the member of our own collective who is most frequently out around town wearing antifa shirts or hoodies about his experience. Here’s what he said: ”I’m a uhhh how shall I put this? A larger and more substantial looking individual. I’m also white cis/het. It’s not uncommon for people to mistake me for a cop! So it’s possible that my experience wearing antifa gear has been different because people are less likely to try to mess with me. That said, after wearing antifa shirts, hoodies, pins and the like everywhere, I have to say that the number of people/strangers who’ve reacted very positively outnumbers the negative reactions I’ve seen by 10 to 1! I can only think about two or three times I’ve had a negative reaction, and those times it amounted to nothing more than staring at me disapprovingly.”

OK, So Where Do I Get Antifascist Stuff?

You could make your own stuff! If you’re looking for ideas, check out our photo archive for some inspiration!

If you’re less crafty, you might want to buy some antifascist stuff to display. Best place to get stuff is from a group doing antifascist work and selling stuff to fund their work. You’ll find a list of some of those groups here. Our collective have been selling anti-fascist shirts and hoodies and donating the proceeds directly to specific antifascist groups and causes for a few years now - you’ll find our online shop here. The next best place to get stuff is from businesses run by antifascists and/or support antifascist groups to one extent or another. We have some examples of places worth checking out here. The one kind of place we would not recommend buying antifa gear from is for-profit operations that aren’t contributing back to the movement. These compete directly with anti-fascist groups trying to fundraise but pocket all the money they collect. If you’re unsure where the money is going, ask the place you’re considering buying from and then verify with the group(s) they say they donate proceeds to (if they say that they do).

Send Us Photos!

We’d love to see how you took on this month’s antifa action - if you feel safe doing so, please feel free to send us some photos (we don’t need to see your lovely face or other identifying features if you’re shy/security conscious)! Let us know if it’s OK for us to share the photos or if you want us to keep ‘em to ourselves.

What If I Don’t Like This Antifa Action Of The Month? No problem - feel free to skip ahead and choose one of the other 29 actions we came up with! Or go with one of the 40 actions from 40 Ways To Fight Fascists. Or go completely off-book and come up with your own action!

[ithilien-writes]

ficlet prompt: buck having a bad chronic pain day in his leg :)

thanks for the prompt! i had fun with this one 🥰

(to anyone reading: this was written really quickly and without much editing, so please take it in that spirit. i'm past the block that sparked the original call for prompts, but you can still always feel free to send me some more!!)

---

Rotten Work [Buck/Eddie (Buck & Chris), G, ~800 words]

Chris knows instinctively what kind of day it's going to be from almost the moment he wakes up. Or, at least from the moment he walks into the living room and sees Buck sprawled out on the couch.

Just a few months ago, it wouldn't have been an odd sight - Buck used to stay over on their couch all the time. And it's not that he doesn't stay over now; if anything, he stays over way more. He's just... not exactly been sleeping on the couch these days.

"Hey Buck," Chris calls out, keeping his voice soft even though he's pretty sure Buck's awake.

Sure enough, Buck stirs at the greeting, craning his neck up to look over at Chris, but without moving his body at all. So that's definitely sign number two.

"Hey bud," Buck greets him back, just as softly.

"Cuttlefish day?" Chris asks, even though he's almost positive he already knows the answer.

Buck manages a small smile back at him.

"Cuttlefish day," he confirms.

It was something they'd started when Chris was still pretty little. Honestly, Chris isn't sure that he even really remembers the day it started, except that he's heard the story from Dad. Apparently, on one of the first truly bad pain days he'd had after his mom died, Chris had been so overwhelmed by everything that he'd had a full sobbing meltdown, and he'd told his dad in between his little hiccuping cries that he didn't even want to be a person anymore.

"What do you want to be instead?" Dad had asked, holding Chris to his chest and rubbing his legs soothingly.

Which- apparently the question had been enough to distract Chris from his meltdown, finally getting him to stop crying as he thought about it with all the seriousness that an eight year-old could muster for such an important question. And then, on a huge aquarium kick at the time, he'd eventually decided he'd rather be a cuttlefish.

So now, in the years since it had become a kind of shorthand in their house for a bad pain day - initially for Chris, but eventually for Buck too.

So Chris simply nods at Buck's confirmation, before slipping back into the hallway to grab the TENS machine out of the closet, bringing it out to Buck who gives him another grateful smile in return. Then while Buck begins placing the electrodes along his bad leg, Chris heads into the kitchen to grab a coffee for Buck and a bowl of cereal for himself.

When Dad finally wakes up and joins them about an hour later, they've already finished breakfast and are well into a documentary on rubik's cube championships - which are apparently a thing? - and Buck's looking markedly more relaxed than he was at the start of the morning.

Dad ruffles Chris's hair as he walks by - which Chris tries to dodge, unsuccessfully - and then he leans down over the back of the couch to press a kiss into Buck's hairline.

"Cuttlefish day?" he asks, and Buck hums an affirmative, even as he tilts his head back to smile up at Dad with the same goofy, besotted grin he always has for him.

"Chris has been taking such good care of me though, I think I might actually be a person again before dinner," he tells Dad.

Dad looks over at Chris and catches his eye, his expression soft and appreciative.

"Well, I'm glad someone was taking care of you," he says after a moment, looking back down at Buck, "since I was apparently sleeping on the job."

He says it in a teasing tone, but also with a subtle undercurrent of actual annoyance that no one woke him up. Chris rolls his eyes.

Buck seems to pick up on it too.

"Well you can go get me another cup of coffee while you're up," he offers magnanimously, "if it would make you feel better."

Dad huffs out a laugh, but dutifully grabs Buck's mug from the coffee table before heading towards the kitchen.

Buck picks up the remote to unpause the documentary, but then looks over towards Chris instead.

"Hey," he says softly. "I meant that, you know. Thank you for taking care of me this morning. I really am feeling a lot better."

Chris shrugs. It's not like Buck hasn't been on the other side of enough of Chris's own cuttlefish days. It's nice to be able to return the favor, honestly.

He doesn't actually say that out loud though, for some reason. But he thinks maybe Buck understands anyway.

"Even if you're feeling better, maybe we could still order take out tonight?" he suggests instead, and Buck laughs.

"Yeah okay," he agrees easily. "I think I might be able to convince your dad on that one."

And when Dad comes back in a few moments later, tucking himself against Buck's side on the couch and handing him his coffee, it turns out it's not even all that hard of a sell.

[coraniaid]

To the extent that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is deliberately and consciously About any one thing, it is about growing up. Specifically, it is about Buffy herself growing up. Moving beyond her childhood and her teenage years and becoming an adult.

And -- not always, but very often -- the metaphor that the show keeps coming back to for growing up is death and dying. Buffy's childhood friend Ford dies, and Buffy and Giles talk about growing up while waiting by his grave ("I'd like to stop," Buffy admits, just before Ford, now a vampire, bursts out of his grave). Buffy's mother dies young -- barely over forty -- and Buffy is forced to grow up again ("Who's going to be [Mom] if I'm not?" she asks her sister Dawn, her idealized childhood self made flesh, "Who's gonna take care of us?")

Buffy herself dies twice, and climbs out of a grave in a symbolically important way three times (in Nightmares, in Bargaining and in the very literally titled Grave). Buffy's main enemies on the show, especially during the high school seasons, are vampires -- forever young immortal creatures that refuse to die, but which "she alone" has the power to kill -- and Buffy can only defeat the Master by accepting the inevitability of her own death. The act of dying at the Master's hands both makes her more powerful ("I feel strong," she says after being revived, "I feel different") and also enables her to meet other people like herself (first Kendra, then Faith). Death is her gift, you might argue.

Another thing the show regularly associates with adulthood is money, particularly for Buffy. As a child, money isn't something that Buffy herself worries about, except abstractly: in School Hard she complains about spending a large fraction of her allowance on a new cream rinse that turns out to be "neither creamy nor rinsey", and in Homecoming she'll rue that she spent "a year's allowance" on a now ruined dress, but these allowances never actually run out. There is always money for new dresses.

Money is something for Buffy's parental figures to worry about. Joyce admits to "dreaming about bills" in The Puppet Show. Her father chooses his job over her in Helpless because "his quarterly projections are unravelling ... he can't afford to take off right now". It's Joyce, rather than Buffy, who worries about how she'll pay her way through college in Choices ("I know we can make it work if your father pictures in", she says, in what in hindsight seems like hopeless optimism) and it's Joyce who will be paying the bill for all the expensive textbooks Buffy buys in The Freshman ("I hope it's a funny aneurysm," Buffy says, which probably means nothing). And [whatever you think about Giles being paid], this is why Buffy insists on Giles being restored as her Watcher in Checkpoint, "reinstated at full salary", but doesn't think to argue for any salary for herself. Buffy doesn't get paid. Even at this stage of the show, money isn't something she has to worry about.

So, after Buffy dies for the second time and is brought back into the world again -- after she is forced to live in the world as an adult, and permanently take over the role of her mother -- it's no wonder that suddenly money becomes important to her. Not just important, but real, in a way it never was before. Those bills Joyce was dreaming about in Season 1 are Buffy's bills now.

And this is also why Buffy's friends can't just bail her out. Why Willow and Tara plan to go on living in her house without paying rent. Why all the gang come to offer her (moral) support when she starts her "subsistence level employment" in Doublemeat Palace, but don't think to actually pay her for the food they order. More than that, it's why Buffy doesn't ever think to ask for rent, and why she tells Xander his burger order is "on me" before he ever admits to looking to get a free meal, why the only person to give her financial assistance is her former Watcher (and now fellow adult) Giles.

Because her friends haven't gone through everything Buffy has. "It's kind of a Slayer thing", you might say. Unlike her, they haven't died. They haven't had to claw their way back to life from out of their own grave, into a world where everything is suddenly "hard and bright and violent". They haven't been forced to grow up yet. They don't know what it's like, and (as Buffy herself says in a different context), it's important to her that "they can never know". They're still kids. They're not in hell. Money isn't real to them yet.

[disobey-disappoint-deviate]

The RK series and deviancy (theory + analysis)

I have been wanting to talk about this for some time, because it's kinda one of the biggest DBH mysteries (aside from rA9) and I think there are many many hints in the game about why deviancy came to be and how. And I've had this theory that deviancy was something that started with the RK series, specifically with Markus, so I'm gonna use the hints I've found in the game to expain why I believe this. I also gotta note I'm really new to the fandom, so maybe this is has already been talked about thousands of times before (maybe even debunked), but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

First and foremost, I will start with something that I talked about in another post - namely the significance of the number 28. You can see Adam Williams talk about it here (at 1:04:28), too.

Basically, the number 28 is used in many places throughout the game, and according to Adam, if players found all references to that number, they will understand what the significance of that number is.

And speaking of 28, I noticed that 2028 is the year when Kamski left Cyberlife, but not before creating the Zen Garden and Amanda.

There is a whole series of questions Connor can confront Amanda with during "Last Chance, Connor" (which is the 28th chapter with a flowchart. Maybe cuz he is asking important questions here, just saying).

Connor: Why did Kamski leave CyberLife? What happened? Amanda: It’s an old story, Connor. It doesn’t pertain to your investigation.

Connor: I saw a photo of Amanda at Kamski’s place… She was his teacher… Amanda: When Kamski designed me, he wanted an interface that would look familiar… That’s why he chose his former mentor. What are you getting at?

Connor: Did Kamski design this place? Amanda: He created the first version. It’s been improved significantly since then. Why do you ask?

Amanda Stern died in 2027, which suggests that AI Amanda and the Zen Garden were both created after this and before Kamski's departure from Cyberlife in 2028. Yet somehow, this information is classified to some extent - Amanda doesn't deny, but she gets defensive and doesn't want to elaborate any further. Of course, she might be acting this way because Connor is slowly getting too defiant, but still, it's kinda striking how the player has the option to ask so many questions - questions that seem to unsettle Connor a lot for a reason that is not explicitly explained, yet doesn't get a clear answer.

It awakens the impression that Connor is truly getting at something with them, but it's not said at what exactly.

Connor: I’m not a unique model, am I? How many Connors are there? Amanda: I don’t see how that question pertains to your investigation.

Connor: Where does CyberLife stand in all this? What do they really want? Amanda: All CyberLife wants is to resolve the situation and keep selling androids.

Connor: You didn’t tell me everything you know about deviants, did you? Amanda: I expect you to find answers, Connor. Not ask questions.

Now, Connor asks how many "Connors" (meaning RKs) are there after seeing that Markus is an RK-model one, too. That's news to Connor - for some reason, he's never been informed about the existence of any other RKs. But why?

Well, because the RK-line was a secret project, and apprently, there are no other RK androids left aside from Markus - if there were, Connor would know of their existence, cuz they would be roaming around. What does the game say about Markus?

Markus is a prototype, gifted by Elijah Kamski to his friend and celebrated painter Carl Manfred after Manfred lost the use of his legs. He was initially developed as part of a CyberLife secret program aimed at elaborating a new generation of autonomous androids.

That last sentence, about the new generation of autonomous androids, arises one question. How are these highly autonomous androids, like Connor, controlled, considering that they are supposed to be independent and not wait around for highly specific orders? Well, through the Zen Garden and Amanda - both of which were created sometime between 2027 and 2028. And if Markus was oridinally supposed to be part of that line (that basically got put on hold for 10 years), that places his creation around 2028 as well.

In 2028, Elijah Kamski was our Man of the Century. [...] Shortly after, Kamski had disappeared. Ousted as CEO of CyberLife and living in obscurity outside the media glare, the Man of the Century has left the very world that he recreated. [...] Yet at the peak of CyberLife’s powers – when the company was approaching a $500bn valuation – rumors emerged that Kamski disagreed with his shareholders over strategy. He later departed under mysterious circumstances.

So, he was "outsted" and he likely disagreed with his shareholders. But what do these shareholders want?

Russia’s interest in the North Pole has intensified with the recent discovery of precious minerals trapped in the frozen ice, many of which are used in synthesizing Thirium. [...] President Warren, however, recently torpedoed the notion: “It’s simple. Russia has no business in the Arctic. If the Kremlin doesn’t understand that, we will make them understand.[...] Mired in accusations that she is too close to big business, Warren is under investigation to determine whether or not she has benefited from CyberLife's help in obtaining compromising information about her opponent during the presidential campaign.[...]

If we read the magazines, we kinda get an impression of what the shareholders want - they want war with Russia over the minerals in the Arctic, and they wanna monologise the android market globally. This is further proven by their finalized RK-model being a military android, of whom the government has puchased hundreds of thousands (All CyberLife wants is to resolve the situation and keep selling androids). The government - whose President is said to be corrupt and basically installed at her position by Cyberlife themselves.

Naturally, we can assume that this was not the direction Kamski wanted his RK-series to take - he likely disagreed with this enough to be removed from his position as a CEO, because Cyberlife only saw their futures as secured if they prevented anyone else from being able to create thirium, even it meant starting a world war.

So, is it a coincidence that the only existing RK android who was created by Kamski's original design ended up with Carl Manfred - a friend of Kamski's? I think it's safe to assume that Markus would have been decomissioned long time ago (just like Connor if the deviants lose), had he not ended up far away from Cyberlife's reach.

I think Kamski definitely removed the Zen Garden from Markus, to prevent Cyberlife from ever trying to take over. It's also likely that they generally lost track of Markus, because he was no longer interesting to them.

But what if Kamski not only saved Markus from being destroyed, what if he himself created the "virus" that causes deviancy?

Kamski: All ideas are viruses that spread like epidemics... Is the desire to be free a contagious disease? Kamski: Androids share identification data when they meet another android. An error in this program would quickly spread like a virus, and become an epidemic. The virus would remain dormant, until an emotional shock occurs… Fear, anger, frustration. And the android becomes deviant. Probably all started with one model, copy error… A zero instead of a one… Unless of course... Some kind of spontaneous mutation. That’s all I know…

If meeting another android is enough to "infect" them, then Markus could have been innocently walking around the city and infecting androids for 10 years. He could have also "infected" the androids at Cyberlife before Kamski sent him to Carl, because for all we know, Kamski really just wanted to create truly autonomous and conscious androids. We know the first known case of deviancy happened approximately in 2032, while Kara was being assembled - that would be only 4 years after Markus' assumed activation.

And no, Markus wouldn't need to be a deviant for this - he is simply the carrier, just like it happens with human viruses.

And do you know what also makes me think Kamski purposely created deviancy?

Kamski: By the way… I always leave an emergency exit in my programs… You never know…

Why would he leave an exit in the Zen Garden that is only detectable by the android but not by Amanda (seemingly) if he doesn't want the androids to be able to escape the controll of their owner? And why would he call humans and deviants "two evils" and pretend to be so neutral on the whole thing, but still give Connor a way to save himself and escape Cyberlife in case he became a deviant?

Because he isn't on Cyberlife's side. He is fascinated by androids, he likes them better than humans, and is also likely obsessed with the idea of having created a new species that is superiour to their creators. It's also quite likely that one of the Chloes is a deviant, too, and he is fully aware of it, but doesn't seem eager to turn her in.

This post is ignoring the deleted Kamski ending, but even so, Kamski paints a rather clear picture to me, and I'm also fully convinced that he didn't gift Markus to Carl because of goodness alone.

A sidenote, but: how sinister would it be to send Connor on a mission to kill Markus? Connor, who is based on Markus, the only other alive RK model, after boosting him with an extra anti-deviancy variable and 2 additional red walls and brainwashing him against what has likely been a part of his program since his very activation?

[sky--phantom]

Times other people discussed Solavellan + Times Solas and Lavellan talked about each other (dav)

"I've seen how you look at him. You're in it" - Sera

"Is it my imagination, dear, or have certain... lingering looks passed between you and our Solas?" - Vivienne

"You're real, and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't" - Cole

"The two of you were close. Perhaps he had no choice? He might return at any moment" - Leliana

"How have you been? It seems ages since we've spoken. I know you were cruely disappointed when Solas left" - Vivienne

"Are you hoping for word on Solas? I'm sorry, Inquisitor. I'm afraid I have nothing" - Leliana

"I've been meaning to ask... Solas hasn't come back? Sent word? Anything?" - Thom

"Oh, and Inquisitor? Feels weird, but I'm sorry Solas never came back. Well, no, I'm not, but... I'm sorry he left you." - Sera

"I am not a god, Charter. I am prideful, hotheaded, and foolish, and I am doing what I must. When you report back to the Inquisitor…. Say that I am sorry.” - Solas

"Maybe it's gullible of me, but I know the Inquisitor feels the same: Solas isn't too far gone to bring back" - Varric

"Solas was... important to me. If this statuette helps you understand him, if it uncovers something that... Honestly, I don't know. I wish I did. But this feels like a part of him, and whatever he and I once were... I think... I-I hope... it might help you" - Lavellan

"And when I served the Inquisition, I tried to avoid entanglements" - Solas

"Except for Inquisitor Lavellan" - Rook

"I said that I resolved to do so, not that I succeeded. She's a good woman. Growing close to her was... selfish of me" - Solas

"Do you regret it?" - Rook

"I live with countless regrets. Some of them I have grown to cherish more than my victories" - Solas

"Solas took this path because he thinks he has no choice. But the Inquisitor believes there is another way for him. For them. She could save him, if he would just let her" - Harding

"God of Lies, Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel. They're titles he earned from enemies, followers and fractured history. He and I shared another name: Vhenan" - Lavellan

"You've spoken to him in your dreams. You've felt the power of that mind. His love could burn against me like a bonfire. He seemed so kind, and wise, and sad, and looked at me as if I somehow mattered more than anything around us. For a time... I thought I would have followed anywhere he asked me to" - Lavellan

"Or maybe I'm the prideful one, imagining his broken heart so that I never have to face my folly. That I loved someone who made such grave mistakes. That I might love him still" - Lavellan

"He really made you happy?" - Rook

"Yes, he really did" - Lavellan

"Harding... I am sorry" - Solas

"For what, Solas? Betraying the Inquisitor and breaking her heart?" - Harding

"Is there any chance - any chance at all - that he would listen to reason?" - Lavellan

"Speaking from the heart, Inquisitor?" - Morrigan

"With Elgar'nan and and Ghilan'nain dead, and the Inquisitor finally reunited with her true love... it looked like one of the biggest stories this world had ever seen was finally drawing to a close" - Varric

[ngage2003]

I could make a whole post about it but my clonidine is kicking in right now so I am going to just summarize some thoughts real quick.

Alex Kralie is a character that seems, to me, to hold some level of toxic ideals relating to masculinity.

"What the hell are you on about?" Well, he seems to hold (and to have always held) some unhealthy ideas about control and other people, which can be seen pretty much anytime he is on screen.

The first you might think of is how at the start of the series, he was domineering and controlling on set, being easily agitated along with belittling and rude to his cast members. We know these traits have been worsened due to his repeated Operator exposure, but I believe it is implied/shown that he always had these traits, with how he tends to be very particular about details relating to his film and a bit of a needy visionary even when his ideas are extremely unlikely or even close to downright impossible. (I.E. In Entry 54 he talks vaguely about the fact he wanted to make original music for the Marble Hornets trailer despite Tim just having learned the ukulele and Alex seeming pretty blind on playing the piano.)

Now, I do not think Alex Kralie is a bad person, but his intense need for control, to be responsible for everything himself, along with his developed habit of harshly belittling other people that only worsens over the show and his inability to fully trust even his best friend—these are all traits very associated with men who cling to masculine ideals to the point of it being damaging to their health.

I think to some degree Alex always held them, not to the degree we see in the series but he honestly just seems like he has a long history of teasing people a bit too far, being pushy, and being the sort of perfectionist who bites off more then he can chew. It is just due to his torture at the hands of the Operator, his more redeeming parts of himself—his guilt, his connections to other people, his trust—ended up getting peeled away by it, leaving this big raw wound of a person in its wake.

I think this fact is a really important facet of Alex Kralie's character and honestly grounds him in reality and the time period of Marble Hornets, and I think the fact people sometimes brush it under the rug in favor of him just being pure evil from the start is a bit sad and misses some of the most important aspects of Marble Hornet's impeccable writing.

People tend to cite Tim as being the complex one, but really all these characters are and they deserve that recognition, even if it means also recognizing their uglier, human sides.

[claimedcrossbows]

Weyler IS BACK in S2 Of Wednesday (Teaser Analysis)

Alright ladies and gentleman, I really don't even know where to begin. We got a 5 second teaser of the upcoming season.

And for our first real teaser who do we have?

Wednesday and Tyler Galpin!!

Look, I've said for the longest that the Wednesday filmmakers went out of there way to hide Hunter Doohan's role as Tyler in the Behind The Scenes and I felt the only possible reason was because they wanted his role to be a mystery.

The fact that we actually got a teaser centered around Wednesday and Tyler is absolutely huge for a lot of reasons.

For one, Usually a teaser is to give an audience a general concept of what to expect this season without really spoiling too much. That's why often I feel movie/tv show trailers give away too much of the overall plot because it really wants to give your every huge moment to keep the audience engaged. Which is why in this particular case I would argue that this teaser might be more important to the weyler fanbase than whatever trailer is eventually released.

Why do I say that?

Well I doubt too much of anything Weyler related is going to be in the trailer because they do want to keep his role secret to some degree for shock value. BUT they didn't want to leave us completely in the dark, so they gave us just enough to answer some questions as well as provoke some.

So what did this 5 second teaser tell us?

Well for one...

Tyler DID NOT escape out of the truck.

So it was pretty heavily debated on rather or not Tyler escaped custody and would be on the run, I think it's safe to say that this is not the case and that's he's actually been locked up for at least a little while considering how his hair has grown longer.

His scar from Enid is still visible so unless it's permanent I really don't think it's been too long, I don't think a 2 year time jump sounds logical but maybe I'm wrong, it still feels like from what I'm seeing he's only been locked up at Willow Hill for maybe a couple months?

Anyway I'll theorize more about that later..

Moving on

The scene has no dialogue present but a lot can be told with music and facial expressions alone. (Trust me I know, I minored in Film Studies In College 😉) And what this music is saying too me is that it is building up to something.

And from the looks of Wednesday that something could only be a question right?

From the way the music builds, to cutting to Wednesday she looks confident, calm, collected, so we can assume whatever reason she's visiting Tyler isn't too yell at him for betraying her or torture him or anything like that.

I think she's there to ask him a question and maybe even a favor.

(I do however think at some point he's breaking out of Willow Hill either by his own accord or with help from Wednesday but again I'll cover that later)

Now looking at Tyler in this clip...

*Sighs*

Tyler overall looks sick.

Like sick and tired.

And I honestly couldn't tell you if it's the conditions of Willow Hill OR the effects of his master being gone wearing down on him..but he doesn't look good at all. Notice how sweaty he looks? Also paler, eyes darker, and his hair looks greasier..he overall doesn't look like he's well.

Side Note: Where is his shirt?? I mean unless it's an absolutely sauna in there I don't know why he wouldn't have a shirt? This makes me think this is specifically not only for the audience to have eye candy, but for Wednesday's as well..I know even through betrayal she's probably still got some attraction to him, So I'm sure at some point during this scene, she'll be glancing at him shirtless, otherwise why not put a shirt on him? It's to show the attraction is still there between them I would guess...

Anyway back to the main point.

I know we don't get Tyler looking at Wednesday for long really just a second actually, but he doesn't seem to have any type of immediate reaction to seeing her.

Which makes me wonder if he's starting to lose his own consciousness and by that losing his mind/memories?

Again I know it's kind of a stretch to claim this from a split second look he gives Wednesday but I don't know.. it just seems like Tyler isn't really all there..

Which again makes me think that for whatever reason Wednesday is visiting Tyler is probably for another Quid Pro Quo on her part.

Tyler helps her and She helps him, not only break out of Willow Hill..but also probably save him from himself. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤔

Anyway to conclude.

I think this 5 second teaser is probably going to be the most we get out of this Weyler situation before the season starts, but I do think this teaser says a lot about Weyler in Season 2.

Tyler WILL play a big role in S2, and this is just a little taste of something bigger to come!

Anyway what are YOUR thoughts?

[theghostinabadbook]

A detail that I always found curious in bsd is how in fifteen Dazai needs to consciously activate his ability, but in the current time of the story he doesn't. At first I just thought Dazai had trained his own ability to the point where he could keep it active all the time, but Dazai's ability doesn't really seem very important to his work in the mafia, because we only see him using No Longer Human a few times during the light novels that take place during the time he was in the Port Mafia, so I don't believe this was something trained by Dazai, but rather the effect that All Men Are Equal has on him.

We know that Fukuzawa's ability is a suppression ability that influences the abilities of ADA members, allowing the agents themselves to adjust and control their powers, so it makes sense that joining after the ADA, Dazai made No Longer Human always be activated, so he couldn't be affected by abilities attacks even if he was caught by surprise.

The fact that the agents themselves can adjust their abilities with the help of All Men Are Equall made me think about the other ADA members, and how they are affected by Fukuzawa's ability. In Yosano's flashback, it's never said that she can only heal people with fatal wounds, and when Yosano refuses to heal Tachihara's brother (who Mori says is not seriously injured) she says that she doesn't want to heal him, not that she can't, so I believe that after everything Yosano went through in the war and with Mori, she herself chose to only be able to heal people who were almost dying, so she doesn't feel like she was reducing the value of the lives of those she heals, and so that others detectives of the agency understand the value that their lives and wounds have, and don't end up like the soldiers in war.

In Kenji's fight against Tetchou, we have a flashback of a conversation between Kunikida and Atsushi, and Kunikida says that Kenji's ability is driven by his anger, the angrier he gets, the more powerful he will be, however, his hunger can calm him, and I wonder if that might have something to do with Fukuzawa's skill. Kenji is a very calm person, and Kunikida says that this prevents his monstrous strength from coming out, so creating a way to calm him down so that his ability doesn't go out of control may have been Kenji's own choice when he joined the agency.

Kunikida only using his ability in his notebook of ideals may also have been his own choice. We know how connected to his ideals Kunikida is, and he says that all of his future and ideals are written in that notebook, so it makes sense that he would want his ability, an important part of his life, to be in his notebook too. On the other hand, All Men Are Equal could be the reason why Kunikida can only create objects the size of his notebook, but I can't see a specific reason for this choice.

I don't see many ways in which Fukuzawa's ability can affect Tanizaki's Light Snow, other than limiting the area in which he can use his ability. We know that Tanizaki can be very aggressive if provoked, so the fact that his ability can only be used at a short or medium range may be to prevent him from doing more damage than necessary when angered.

I believe all of these assumptions make a lot of sense, based on what we've seen of the influence of Fukuzawa's ability on Atsushi (forbiding him from fully transforming into a tiger, and from losing his mind while using his ability) and Kyouka (allowing her to control Demon Snow without her phone), and I really hope this topic is explored at some point during the manga.

[the-universal-sun]

Okay I just thought of something what if Stan regressed after getting his memory waist, because even though everything of Stanley Pines got a waste his mind still knew deep down that the headspace was healing so doing the most mentally traumatic thing that ever happened to him in his life his brain request to his age basically I want to Stanley with no memories

Sorry it took so long to get this out, I got hit by a bout of massive writer's block, but I got through it okay. Deep apologies for how late this is @pinkyshy10 and my other wonderful anon, I know this was requested back in December, but I hope you enjoy reading this! I hope I encapsulated your visions when writing, please let me know if I was off the mark, though! But thank you so so very much for your requests! I enjoyed writing it so much! Fun Fact: I've never watched Treasure Planet before, but it does seem super interesting, so I might give it a try along with the other movies you lovely people suggested that Stan, Ford, and Fiddleford may watch when Little. Please enjoy reading!

And as always, I'm open to helpful comments and critiques on my writing!

Stay warm!

XX

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Stan...

His name is Stan. He knows this, he was told this. But, it feels true, his name is Stan, he's a great uncle to Dipper and Mabel and the twin brother to Ford. His memories aren't all there, very little are, in fact. His niece, Mabel, her scrapbook helped him some, he can remember the summer and the fond emotions attached to the memories. To most of the memories. The brief ones with the man...with Stanford bring an ache to his chest, but he hopes the more he remembers him, the happier the memories will be.

Stan fumbles around in his room, trying to familiarize himself with the surroundings, half formed memories helping him along and silently guiding his steps. He's looking for something, he thinks as he scratches his head, the Fez having been taken off and set aside, something important. But he doesn't know what. More accurately, he can't remember what. He looks around his room again, trying to see if something stands out to him when he spots a lump under the covers of his bed. He grabs the edges of his comforter and pulls it back, revealing a old looking stuffed bear, looking closely he sees it's wearing a little sweater vest. Cute. Is this something he kept from his childhood or something? It's not like he would remember.

He picks up the bear delicately. No, he knows this bear, the memories are there, right in his reach. Ah, this is a gift he got when he was a young man. This is Poindexter, what a nerdy name. Stan sits on the edge of the bed, carefully cradling his stuffy, the action making his head start to go fuzzy. Not bad, not how it is when he's remembering things, but a pleasant sort of fuzzy, one that relaxes his body, making him gently rock back and forth on the edge of the bed. This is nice, he distantly thinks, bringing the teddy up to rub to his and rubbing the ears against his lips. He laughs at the ticklish feeling that brings. He does that for a long time, rocking and rubbing his teddy against his mouth before he grows bored, standing up and stretching. What should he do? He hums and taps his hands as he thinks, he'll go see if there's any cartoons playing this late. Stan doesn’t quite know why he wants cartoons, but nothing else appeals to him right now. He grabs the first blanket he sees, a hand-stitched quilt with teddy bears on the edges, and trudges off downstairs.

The living room is still a mess when he gets there, but the tv is plugged and still works, so Stan settles down in front of it, Poindexter and the blankie-blanket from his room in his lap. He turns the dials over and over again, but he can't find anything bedsides stupid commercials and the news. He's getting more and more annoyed, his breathing going heavy and his mumbling growing louder and louder. He doesn't care about waking everybody up, he wants cartoons, but he's not seeing them. Stan is about to hit the glass in anger when he hears his brother's voice.

"Stanley? What are doing? It's late and you need to rest, you've especially had a long and trying day." Stanford spoke softly, voice confused.

"Cartoons." Stan replied, pointing of the tv it's the one word he can move his tongue around. Why does he find it hard to speak again? Oh yeah-

"What? Stanley there aren't any cartoons even on there." Ford said, confused and more than a little worried for his brother's mental state.

Oh yeah, there aren't any cartoons on. Which is the problem. Stan points to the tv again, staring at Ford. Will he help? Stan just wants to watch cartoons with his Teddy and Blankie and not think of memories or triangles or monsters, he just wants to let himself be-be. Be what? He looks at himself, soft pajamas with cars on them, his teddy bear quilt and Poindexter. His head feels fuzzy, but not as fuzzy as it can get-as he wants it to get. He wants to be-

Small. Ah. That's what it is, he remembers now. Not all of it, but most of it. Sometimes when everything is too much or too loud or too overwhelming, his mind goes smaller. Littler, the internet said he "regresses" and that it can help relax him. And it does, and he likes it, that fuzzy feeling and wanting nothing more than to color and cuddle with his teddy. Except for the times he gets really lonely, wanting his brother here with him. And he is here now, isn't he? And he said he'd take care of Stanley, so that must mean with this too, right? Does Ford know about this? Stan doesn't remember if he does or not, and he can't bring himself to ask, can't get his mouth to work. Instead he just keeps pointing to the tv and looking at is brother, he still wants to watch cartoons.

"Ah-alright, then, Stanley. I can help you find something?" Ford sounds like he's asking a question, sitting next to Stanley and tuning the dials on the box set-the remote was destroyed sometime during Weirdmaggedon. He finagles it with with more success, stopping to let each channel fix and find itself in between the static, having more patience than his brother in this regard. He's about 20 channels deep at this point when the staticky screens stabilizes to a cartoon unfamiliar to Ford, hazy as the screen is. He looks at the screen, it must be after his time, the animation different from what he knew of back in the 80s. What is it-

"Treasure Planet!" Stan loves this movie when he feels small. It has space pirates and ships that move in the sky! Stan especially loves it because it was based on his and Ford's favorite book growing up, Treasure Island, but much cooler because they were also in space. He excitedly pats the space next to him, Ford has to stay and watch this, he'd love it! Stan chants little "stay stay stay"s as he pats the carpet beside him, Ford slowly and softly easing down beside him, tugging gently on the corner of Stan's teddy blankie to cover him. He doesn't need to, because Stan huddles in close, practically on Ford's lap, and spreads the blanket over both of them, Poindexter still gripped in his hands.

Stan, now that he has his cartoons and has his brother, blankie, and Poindexter, is more than willing to let the fuzzy in his head take over, relaxing into Ford's side, bringing Poindexter's ear back up to his mouth-he's not gonna chew on it, just rub it on his lips, that's all. Like before.

"Treasure Planet, hmm? Sounds kind of like Treasure Island, do you remember that book, Stanley? It was our favorite-!" Stan slaps a hand over Ford's mouth to make him quiet-shushing someone was rude, said Ma', but Ford was talking and Stan didn't want to miss any of the movie-luckily it was just starting so he didn't miss much. He cuddles closer to his brother, wrapping his hand, now free after Ford removed it, around his twin's arm, practically crawling in his lap and rocking softly, easy rocking to help soothe his excitement. He loved Treasure Planet so much, and now Ford can watch it and love it, too, so he's extra excited!

"Okay, Okay, Stanley, I'll be quiet. Sorry." Ford softly whispered, starring at Stan, who was enraptured by the television screen, with a soft look that bordered on confusion, he doesn't exactly understand what's happening, and hopes it's not a side-affect of the memory gun. But Stanley seems to happy and relaxed, something he hasn't seen in near 40 years, so whatever his concerns are, they can wait until the morning. Ford settles down, wrapping an arm around Stanley, softly rubbing his back, and turns his attention back to the movie. It does seem very interesting.

[cheshireliam]

"My Ideal Life of A Doting Love" Story Event: Chapter 1

Azel Radwan

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

After some time of living together with Tanzanite's Living God in a isolated castle in the desert—

I noticed something strange about my lover.

…

Emma: Prince Aze— I mean, Azel. Lunch is ready…

Emma: … What are you doing?

Despite having retired from his duties as Living God and supposedly enjoying a peaceful life, Azel was sitting at his desk and reading a book upside down.

Azel: Isn't it obvious?

Emma: No, it's not. Is that how that book is meant to be read?

Azel: Oh.

As if he had only just realised that the book was upside down, he nonchalantly flipped it right side up and cleared his throat.

(Something's not right. He was definitely up to something before I came, wasn't he?)

Azel: Wrong.

Emma: What kind of excuse is that?

Azel: More importantly, I'm hungry. I thank the ever-dedicated Emma for today's meal.

(… It's bothering me.)

…

On another night,—

(… Mm… I'm awake…)

When I woke up while it was still dark outside, I noticed Azel wasn't next to me.

I sat up and looked around to see that the balcony window was left slightly ajar.

Sitting by the window, illuminated by the massive moon worshipped by the people of Tanzanite, Azel was engrossed in reading a book. He was dressed in his familiar divine robes because as he always said, "it's best to wear comfortable clothes at night".

He didn't to seem to notice I was awake.

(He looks so serious.)

Although I was mesmerised by his beautiful profile under the moonlight, I quietly slipped out of bed.

I crept closer to him silently, but right when I was about to reach him, Azel turned to face me.

Azel: Are you an assassin or something?

Emma: You noticed.

Azel: Of course I did.

He claimed that he noticed me approaching, but he hurriedly shut the book and hid it behind his back.

Regardless of whether he realised this or not, his behaviour only made me all the more suspicious.

Emma: What book were you reading?

Azel: … A highly classified document related to national secrets. If an outsider saw it, I couldn't let them live.

Emma: Reading something so important at this late hour?

Azel: Is there a problem?

Emma: Azel… has anyone ever told you you're bad at keeping secrets?

Azel: Never. If anyone dared to, they'd be thrown into a nightmare so torturous they'll never wake again.

Azel stood, effortlessly scooped me up in his arms and tossed me onto the bed.

I tried protesting that our conversation wasn't over, but before I knew it, I was swiftly wrapped in a blanket and completely immobilised.

Azel: Go to sleep. You will sleep right now. Immediately.

Emma: I'm wide awake.

Emma: … Maybe I'll fall asleep if you sing me a lullaby.

Azel: What age toddler are you?

Emma: There are adults who fall asleep to music too, you know?

Azel: … Why would a god bother to know the customs of mere human beings?

(If I say this, he'll definitely get annoyed and give up on making me sleep.)

(Then I can press him further about that book—)

Just as I was getting ready to interrogate him, Azel started singing with an awful facial expression.

The lyrics didn't sound like they belonged to any modern language, so I couldn't understand them, but his deep and calm voice sang so beautifully and soothingly it felt almost magical.

(I didn't think he'd actually sing. He's surprisingly good at it too.)

(… He looks really embarrassed… but this is exactly what makes him so…)

(Oh well. I guess I'll let him off the hook tonight because of this song.)

…

However, Azel's suspicious behaviour continued.

… To the point where I began to worry he might be dealing with a serious problem.

…

Emma: You're coming clean about everything today, Azel.

Azel was acting strange that day too, sneaking around in the hallway.

Determined not to let him slip away, I spread my arms wide and blocked his path.

Azel: What's this about…? "Come clean"? I haven't done anything.

Emma: That's a lie. You threw something out of the window the moment you saw me, didn't you?

Azel: It was trash.

Emma: Then I'll go pick it up.

Azel: No need.

Emma: …

Azel: …

(We're just going in circles at this rate.)

Emma: Azel—

At the same time I opened my mouth to put an end to this, Azel grabbed my hand and pushed me against the wall.

(!?)

With both my hands pinned, I was caught between Azel and the wall.

(… What's this all of a sudden?)

His mysterious eyes resembling a night sky full of stars gazed deep into mine.

His beautiful hair, shimmering dreamily under the sunlight, gently brushed against my cheek.

(He might be able to hear my heartbeat from this close…)

Azel: …

Emma: … Uhh…

Azel: …

Emma: Azel?

Azel: …

Emma: "Damn it… I pinned her against the wall without thinking, and now I have no idea how to explain myself."

Azel: That's not it. Stop doing that annoyingly accurate impersonation.

Emma: Yeowch!

After giving my cheek a hard pinch, Azel gently rested his forehead against mine and sighed.

Azel: It's just—…

[trans-axolotl]

do you have any resources on a better mindset towards drug users? i would love to learn more about that.

sure!

overall I'd say i think it's important to realize that people who use drugs are already a part of your community, that when you look at your friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, you already know and care about people who use drugs, even if you don't know that they're using. and that there are a lot of myths surrounding drug use--even things that you might think are "common sense" ideas around drug use are worth interrogating to see where that knowledge came from and how true it really is. I'd also say that I think it can be really helpful to try to come in with a sense of curiosity, take time to notice and sit with feelings of discomfort that might come up for you when learning about drugs, and just have an open mind even if some things seem different or uncomfortable to you.

harm reduction 101:

Harm Reduction Principles from the Harm Reduction Coalition

Next Distro's Resources--They have a ton of resources sorted by topic. I'd recommend browsing through their info about specific drugs, I think that reading neutral and accurate information about drugs can help demystify drug use a lot. I'd also check out their Drug Related Stigma page.

harm reduction activism:

Reclaiming Harm Reduction by Emi Koyama

The Big Lie in the War Against Drugs from Truthout

Saving Our Own Lives by Shira Hassan (dm me if you want the PDF)

Harm Reduction is not a Metaphor from HIV Doula Work

Takeover Documentary by Emma Francis-Snyder

this is just a short list so if people have other resources they want to recommend, feel free!

[29daffodils]

to plot or to not plot, that's the question

there's post under the tag that... really tickled my brain because i somewhat agree with it. but not entirely, considering i do still believe OP sounds... i dunno, something, while they are telling FK stans to “have some dignity”. so I'll just add to that, because i think fan interpretation and looking deep into a story is important, than say, just being fed all the info.

now let's start with saying i am a FKT stan and I'll be somewhat biased in my approach, but i will still try to keep this as neutral as possible.

that said, i do think jojo's writing needs improvement. a looooooot of improvement. the other day i was complaining to my friend @skyfish7 how jojo tends to use serious topics as plot devices and then does nothing with them. also the fact that he has a flair for drama and usually seems to include it in places to engage the viewers but he handles it poorly (boeing, I'm looking at you bitchass) or simply doesn't conclude them well (kant's phobia, bison's bdsm shtick, etc, i know we still have 2 eps left, don't kill me yet).

i do think OP was coming from a genuine place but also, i will take the time to defend jojo here too. because THK is not all trash. joong and dunk's characters are visibly seen to be falling in love, whereas first and khaotung's are more subtle.

i know what OP means by saying that it's still hard to believe that kant is in love with bison. because part of me feels that too. i believe a lot of it is because we do not see any detailed development where it's needed or it is skipped over in favour for more drama. like i said, jojo tends to gravitate towards big impactful scenes but he does not lay out the finer details. i am choosing to think that's just his writing style and not him just being a terrible writer. as my girl sky said, it leaves something to the viewer's imagination. and yes, she's right and i agree. spoon feeding every bit of a story is lame and boring, but sometime you do need to add little details where they are needed.

if you've already read my post about how THK seems to be losing steam, you might know what I'm talking about.

I'm very much convinced that this could have done well with a binge watch or if it were in movie format. but imo there's too many things going on with the focus distributed disproportionately among them, which in turn, i think, kinda makes the character development take backseat.

but let me add something about bikant because OP seems to be under the impression that they are simply trash.

jojo tends to make the falling in love subtle. at least for his FK characters. in bikant's case, they were both already smitten with each other from the first meeting. especially kant. he was head over heels for bison and it was very visible. it was deliberately shown. so when he does start the mission of getting dirt on him, the most visible emotion we see from kant is guilt. nothing else but guilt. and that is because it's already established he likes bison as a person. kant's character is written as someone who compartmentalizes things so even when he does find out bison's a hitman and there's proof (we see him staring horrified at the corkboard in their house) he quickly dismisses it. we repeatedly see style telling us that kant is smitten with bison. why? because kant doesn't have the mental capacity to think about romance right now, so it's style who tells the viewers his friend is wrapped around bison's little finger. the time when we finally actually see him do anything remotely truthful is ep#7 — the bowling alley and northern lights scene. kant has successfully gathered all the info he can and now he knows he might lose bison. so this one night he actually goes and lets himself love truthfully. he does all the things he would have done after that first meeting with bison. and then when bison gets shot, that's when he realises what he actually wants. the hospital scene is an important one because it cements the fact that kant cares, kant is in love, but his brain hasn't caught up to the feeling yet the idea is there, the proof is there, but he hasn't had the reprieve to sit and think and let that love marinate well. it's why even when kant says that he loves bison, it's difficult for us to believe. it's difficult for bison to believe. remember, we are viewing the beach scene from bison's pov and he ultimately asks, “you are not fooling me again, are you?” and that is the question from the viewers as well.

“you are not fooling us again, are you, kant?”

so all bison and we can do is take kant at face value and choose to believe him. that's all there is to it.

bison on the other hand? bro has been whipped since the first night. he is a hopeless romantic. he is an abused child hungering for love stuck in an adult's body. bison has been infatuated with kant from the get go, but he has also been suspicious and we have seen that suspicion slowly drop and build back up again time and time. but the moment bison actually spends all of ep#7 with kant and says, “i feel like my life is about to change”, that's him falling in love. that's him acknowledging that he is gone for good and he is finally choosing to believe kant despite the previous shady sus things he's done. bison had chosen to believe in him despite fadel warning him time and time again, and that's why the beach scene hits so hard. he is simply a fool in love. he is naive. he is the younger brother who doesn't know better. he just wanted to love, he loved and he got duped into being loved back (we all know that wasn't the case, but, bison POV like i said).

now, coming back to the point i was trying to make : do i think an extra tidbit of scene where kant's thought process was expanded on could have been better? yes.. maybe. but as a writer who likes to keep her readers interpreting and guessing, i choose to forgive jojo this time (as well). like i said, maybe this is just how he tends to write and honestly that's fine. every writer has a set of audience they are aiming for and i think there are plenty who enjoy his work (i do too, i just wish he'd tone down on the super big things suddenly being thrown in out of nowhere and then doing nothing with it).

and as far as sandray goes, boy do i have news for OP because ray is a classic example of a mentally ill abused child who is now an alcoholic and sand is a surrogate husband/caregiver growing up in poverty who puts himself last. that's their story. that's the story jojo wanted to tell, and i will rant about ray and sand and forgiveness (because OP thinks he is an asshole, so i want to make a point) but.... in a different post.

for now, this is it. i hope you forgive and understand kant. bro is trying and so are we.