#i know this is rude but i cant help it
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People have attention spans.....must be nice
#i fully zone out#and sometimes i kno im doing it#and i cant stop it#and there's this person talking at me#but fuck if I kno what their saying#my sister was talkin and then she fully said ur bored now arent u#and i had to say yh cus like i tried#i know this is rude but i cant help it#its not personal#i dont spend more than 2 mins on anything#not an app#a song#a sentence#its getting worse but its kinda funny#and if uve told me anything that shit is in the void 'ill remember in 3-5 working days'#idk how ive read nearly 300 books saying this but like i think its blocks out the thoughts thats why#characters shit is not my shit and thats why i need to read to survive#i will stop rambling eventually#but my brain wants to talk so.........#i am not speaking to anyone cus being annoying is apparently the worst thing to be so ive been told multiple times
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i was hacked by a very unhappy man!
#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#nsbu#d20 nsbu#g13#g13 nsbu#usha rao#MY TASTE IN FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GETS WORSE AND WORSE BY THE DAY!!!!!#sorgy. i cant help it every time a character is even slightly sympathetic i fall for it every time#i acknowledge that he is rude to everyone around him and the reason why he is so isolated from every body#is that he is egotistical and drives people away on purpose#like if u are not useful to him then he doesnt like you#but that in and of itself is so sad. hes just really sad#and a dick. and its funny#âwe can have an old ladies night outâ âmaybe you can have that one by yourselfâ LMAO#ALSO USHA IS SO FUNNY U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I WAS LAUGHING TODAY#âi made my own alcohol during the prohibitionâ SHES 100 YEARS OLD AT BEST. AND FROM INDIA#i think these two are my favorite characters this far and i dont know what that says abt me#oh not even mentioning the inherent tragedy of fictional character who knows theyre not real and wants to escape into the real world#tell me g13. why do you want people? huh? HUH?#im also being influenced by his nature of being a loser and also i like computers and computer symbolism#im normal you can trust me#i could go on about how usha and g13 are alike in their refusal to change#but i need to sleep#nsbu spoilers
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WHAT IN THE TARNATION I GOT JUMSCARED FROM MY LITTLE BROTHER SHOWING MY ACCOUNT AND THE ART FROM THIS APP'S NOTIFICATION I DONT WANT TO BE EXPOSED FROM HERE BUT I GUESS IT HAS BEEN REVEALED
Yes I'm Snow from X/twitter and the creator of Angel Twins
I can't believe my brother actually did for me,like I had many upcoming exams and he secretly sneaked in my arts and send it to you just to make me to feel less stress
Ty to my bro for making this suprise for me and Ty for drawing my babies! They look so adorable especially in Adam and yet again poor Adam đ
I wonder what will be his reaction if he see his other half siblings as bugs
oh my god the truth has been revealed lol
but anyway yee glad your brother decided to request me and also being able to put ease on your stress simply by choosing to draw the angel twins!!
also ooh joy who knows how he'll deal with them, both simply being around his half-siblings and his wavering fear of bugs lol
#leer got an ask#miscellaneous leer#I'M GIGGLING imagine the fucking family gatherings#adam tries his hardest to adapt and get used to his half-siblings in a respectful manner#he didn't even mean to be rude but his fears just gets the best outta him and everyone seems to be aware of it#i like to think his parents let him stay in his room to accommodate since they know he cant help it#just spitballing headcanons and scenarios but like yeedbjdhdj#sadlittleflowey
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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actually seriously though sorry to vent but this quarter has been like one of the worst times of my life i didnt really think it could get worse from last year but it did and also my whole family life kinda fell apart which didnt help.
i thought going part time this quarter could help me but it just gave me more time to do nothing and then feel bad about doing nothing. i only have two classes this quarter and im definitely gonna fail one and im maybe gonna barely pass the other one. plus my financial aid changed so school is literally 3 times more expensive which means im running out of money way faster than i have the past two years, i thought that since i worked 3 jobs this summer i had finally saved enough to pay for the whole school year but instead i barely paid for the quarter.
literally the only thing that makes school worth it right now is the rowing team and tbh half the time i cant even drag myself out of bed to get to practice because we meet at fuckin 4:30 in the morning so im just disappointing them and wasting all the fucking money in dues because we donât get money from the school so we have to pay a lot to fund the club and yeah. i just. need a break. i thought i could do better this year but nothing ive done has helped and trying to fix whatever is wrong with me and do school at the same time is just too much.
im just so tired. im tired of doing nothing and then feeling bad about it and overwhelmed even though i havent done anything and all my tasks are very manageable. im tired of not being able to fall asleep on time because i managed my time badly or my roommates were being loud and then either getting up for rowing or sleeping way too long. im tired of getting 3 hours of sleep one day and then 10 hours the next. i feel like shit and i cant even tell people how bad it really is because i dont want to disappoint them but here i am disappointing them anyway. i want to fix it but for some reason things that should be easy are so so so hard. i didnt even brush my fucking teeth today man.
my professor sent me a message a week and a half ago telling me im gonna fail the class because ive missed too many classes and im too far behind and i still havent responded. she probably thinks i dont care but the truth is every time i think about responding i feel sick. i just want to go home but now everything is different and my mom and brothers moved to a new house and my aunt and uncle moved to a new state and i have to go home to a house that isnt mine and not all my family will be there. or i go to a different house that isnt mine and not all my family will be there. and they say they dont want me to pick sides but somehow going to either place feels like im betraying someone. cant a guy catch a fucking break around here
#bee talks#vent post#im fine. im fine im fine#why is it that the second i leave home i miss my mom. and the second i get home and see my mom i cant wait to leave.#sigh#not marine biology#the academic probation counselor i had to talk to before is gonna be happy to hear im switching majors though#she didnt listen to me at all and tried to make me leave the college of bio sci and become a human development major last year so im sure s#i did actually hate her so much though so if they make me talk to her again i gotta make sure she knows im not switching because of her#and in fact i probably would have switched earlier if she hadnt been so rude to me that i decided to be stubborn#i wanna make sure she knows she had nothing to do with it and is one of the least helpful people ive ever talked to actually#idgaf if she thinks im rude im leaving the university and ill probably never have to talk to her again lmao
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Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)
Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.
"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."
Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!
O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.
Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.
Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.
Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.
The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.
The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.
Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.
"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"
Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.
"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.
"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"
The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???
"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."
"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.
"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).
Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.
Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!
Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.
"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.
Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.
"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.
The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.
The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.
Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.
"!CĂĄllate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!
A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.
Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.
Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.
Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.
Miguel's nonono no puedo mĂĄs no puedo mĂĄs. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.
"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.
"Snitch!"
Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!
Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.
Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.
#hi. ive seen this movie 8x in theaters and twice on pirating sites. i am unwell#also sorry not sorry for the miguel slander. i am a miles loyalist thru and thru thst bitch is on thin ice#but also literally can't get over gwen âit really is so nice to get to talk to you. me & him its different. in every other universe...stacy#cause directly underneath that she's actually saying. âi missed you. and what i have with you i literally do not have with anyone else and.#you dont know this but ive met hundreds and thousands of spiderpeople. nd even in my friendship with hobie its not like what i have with yo#and im actually really smitten with you. the one person i shouldn't be smitten with bc there is no happy ending for us. and idk...#if i should hold off. and im letting you know all this so that you can decide for me. whether to take that lesp of faith or not with you. &#hope that say yes and make the first move so that i cant but help to just sink into you.â#AND IT MAKES SENSE! SHE MET HIM JUST AS HE WAS LIVING THROUGH AN EXPERIENCE SHE DID. OF BECOMING SPIDEY. AND RIGHT AFTER#SUFFERING THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF HER LIFE WHICH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BEAR WITNESS THRU WITH HIM. SHE WAS THERE FOR HIS UNCLE DYING AND WATCHED#HIM BECOME SPIDERMAN. WE FORGET THAT THEY ACTUALLY WENT THRU SOME HEAVY THINGS TOGETHER. THEYRE TRAUMABONDED. I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT THAT WO#ACTUALLY MEANS. BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO MILES BC THEY PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND EO.#anyways idk why im shouting. im high rn. but crazy how all of that meaning was subtly thrown in there. like we got a confession scene folks#from gwen of all people! i love that for me.#also back to miguel: so i know he's hot. but if a hot person were to ever be rude to a waiter we agree theyre no longer hot right? right.#atsv#miles morales#itsv#miguel o'hara#the spot#ghostflower#gwiles#gwen stacy#ghost spider#gwen x miles#rio morales#across the spider verse#into the spider verse
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twitter was having a shit fit earlier when the SGF happened and the s2 cast was revealed and like
i understand part of the rage at two crossovers and bison already being back, people wanted the big faves to come back like the sf3 cast in general, cody, menat, etc
but think of the LORE, gang, the POTENTIAL
and also when it comes to growing rosters and what characters get in, you gotta get used to the odd choices and potential disappointment, this is why the smash dlcs still worked even with characters like piranha plant and min-min, so i was kinda surprised by all the anger on twitter, and it was genuinely hurting my own hype because yeah i didn't think bison should've been added this early either, but since he is here now anyways, it's time to deep analyze on what they could do with this, because they could prove JP to be the bigger bad if they play their cards right
anyways guess im lurking on tumblr for a bit, yall are stuck with me now KFHSLFND
#sf6#street fighter 6#not even joking when i say twitter's reaction exhausted me#like look i get the disappointment but like#some people were saying they were gonna walk away from the game if their fave didnt get in like#guys its season 2; we have time#its disappointing to not have them now yeah i get it since i wanted falke#but like it feels like theyre having a visceral reaction and i cant help but be concerned bc of it#like guys sfv had like 6 seasons give em time#i rather have 4 dlcs this season than 6 dlc btw if it means less crunch for the devs#basically i have lots of feelings about peoples reactions and it feels like whiplash bc this community's been pretty calm otherwise#sometimes later is good! sora was last for smash dlc and it worked way better than if he was introduced earlier#many thoughts head full; i think the fighting game connecting universes is cool enough to warrant it#also i saw someone being directly rude to takayama like bro why#its not that big a deal just dont buy the dlc if youre not gonna use the character-#you literally get them in WT for free and i know that bc i only own ed and yet here i am with akumas style on talon
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the world DOES work in mysterious ways like how it always manages to make it to where 90% of the friends you meet online play on different servers than youđ„Č
#every time i swear#a friend from a different blog just started playing and asked me for help but weâre on different serversđ#very sad too because ive been on such a co-op kick lately#probably since i cant figure out a team comp i like for the new trounce domain lmao#but STILL#on a co-op kick and canât co-op with most people i know that playđȘ#extremely rude of the universe to be that wayđ€#and then when you find friends who ARE on your server you somehow always play at wildly different times and canât play together anyway lol
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I wish my (OLDER) brother was like. Able to do basic things without me supervising him. I asked him to sweep and mop while I worked yesterday and he Slept All Day instead so I had to make sure he did it today (even tho I took today off because it's my 6th month anniversary and I wanted to spend as much time with my joyfriend as possible and they were having a shitty day so it was good that i did)
Tell me why he didn't know to *move the dog bed and temporary table* in the kitchen to get under them, why he laid down to nap after barely sweeping (at the same time he *went to sleep yesterday*), why he tried to nap Again after he broke two mops and only got a third of the way through the floor. Tell me why he got MAD cause I wasn't "doing anything" when I was making him do things (I cleaned the shower and replaced the blinds in the bathroom and had him and my sister each clean a third of it last week, I helped him clean his own room monday, I cleaned up and vacuumed the living room, I DIRECTED HIM ON EVERY STEP, I gave him 20 bucks of my *work lunch money* to get a new mop, me and my sister washed all the rugs, I cleaned my own room, me and my sister brought in the chairs and table ectectECT)
I'm making him do all this because we are Hosting. Thanksgiving. TOMORROW.
#i dont want eldest sidter duties im not a girl (not that they know) but my brother is so incompetent that he cant be trusted to actually#do anything responsible like ya know. thinking ahead to clean the house before the day of thanksgiving#like!!!! i was always the first pick to pet sit for my grandparents when they went on trips#they had one recently and were like can [vic] come and make sure [middleschool cousin] gets to school on time while we are on#this week long trip?#no i work i cant#oh ok. can [brother] petsit? we'll just take [cousin] with#AND. MY MOM HAD TO GO OVER AND HELP HIM CLEAN UP BEFORE TAKING HIM BACK HOME AT THE END OF IT#ARARATAGAGTAGATAGATGARGARG YOURE A GROWN MAN YOU CAN CLEAN TOO#my grandma keeps being like 'you need to include him when you guhs go out shopping and stuff'#HOW. WHEN HE IS NOCTURNAL. AND SLEEPS FROM 11 AM TO 6 PM.#for my birthday and my sisters birthday we went out for breakfast/brunch before meeting up with family#he was sleeping on the table until the food came out#which is cute if youre 8 but embarrassing and RUDE as a grown man in your mid 20s. it was our BIRTHDAYS#anyway rant over its weaponized incompetence and also coddling from my mom and grandma
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please stop.
i am not giving anyone money unless i know them well enough to.
i know those who give these are in war, but i can not fix that.
i can not stop a war.
i don't need to have guilt pushed down on to me for something i can not give.
i can not help, and stop war.
#echo#vent#i'm sorry#spam bots#spam#i might turn off my asks for a few weeks if i get another of these#i'm sorry if this comes off as rude or selfish#but these asks are greatly affecting my metal health#i just can't be happy when i get constant asks asking me to give money or help stop a war#i can't do that#i am simply a minor#i am not able to help with stuff like this#(oh and if i gave money for a commission and you see this uh this isn't targeted at you)#i just want to be happy#but i cant do that if people are begging me to help#and are comparing me to a amry who kills if i can't give money#or how i would feel if my family was mercyly killed#i know that#I think about every time i get these#i cant help but no one sees that#i cant just stop a war#im sorry
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I was talking about this on twitter before, but on some level, I will always think that I'm a bad person for not being soc. The thought that there are a good amount of people that think about me and care about me and love me and I really don't give a damn about them will always bother me. I care so much that I don't care. I care so much that I'm not a "good" person.
I don't care about people. I think only about myself. I don't think about people much at all if I'm not forced to. That's the way I naturally am. And honestly, even knowing people care about me isn't enough to make me want to change to become "better." I stick to my ways. I am who I am. I don't like anyone encroaching upon that.
Back in typology days, there were so many soc-blinds that always seemed so confident. They didn't care they were the way they were. They wore it with pride. I always wondered how they attained such confidence and lack of care. How do you do that? I don't know how.
#rambles#i have so many aunties that knew me growing up and have always worried about me and kept an eye on me#they always genuinely cared about me#i have other aunties that have always treated me so kindly and seen the good in me when i never gave them reason to#and i know by the way i've been isolating myself and avoiding everyone as of late must be worrying to them#but i honestly dont care. at least i dont care enough to change and get better#and i cant help but think.... i'm so undeserving of their love. why do they love this person who does not love them back?#why do they constantly think and worry for me when they do not cross my mind at all?#why do you love me when i do not love you?#if i were soc i would be able to reciprocate that love. i would be able to show them i'm worth it#is the problem me? is it wrong for me to think that love should always be returned with love? am i too transactional minded?#the act of being loved is such a burden. if i werent loved life would be so much easier. id be able to live freely#everyone always accusing me of being sx-blind in the past are so funny like i WISH i could be sx-blind#but no i was raised as a soc-blind on an island where everyone knows everyone and everyone is considered family#where soc behaviors are always seen as good and filial piety and shit while soc-blind behaviors are seen as bad children#selfish self-absorbed rude sassy uncaring narcissistic disrespectful etc etc etc#maybe i should move and get away from this island. maybe if i went to a place where nobody knows me id feel less pressured#funny thing is if typology people from back then saw this post they'd probably still think i'm sx-blind due to the fact that i care#in their defense tho we both have the misconception that to be truly soc-blind you must not care about anyone and anything#god i wish that were me
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ok now that I'm in elpis I'll probably just post/react and shut off my phone immediately after more than ever to avoid spoilers and allusions and such
#i hope people dont see it as rude but#is this a safe space#maybe its just me not handling sttention well but people's obsession with sprouts livetweeting is a bit weird sometimes ngl#either people not letting sprouts actually go in without any allusion whatsoever#or talking about future events IN MY OWN REPLIES LIKE YALL STOP TALLING ABOUT VENAT IN A TWEET THATS OBVIOUSLY COMING FROM SPROUT IGNORANCE#i mute any tweet that gets traction and isnt my own art anymore just b#people cant help themselves and i see it in other sprout's replies#and dont get me wrong i love people being excited to watch me go through it its very fun but damn some randos are weird#it just feels bad when i can tell people follow for that and not burgeaux/my art#and i know the solution is to stop livetweeting but why should i sacrifice the way i talk/post on my side account of all things#i hope this doesnt make me sound awful i really am appreciative and love talking with people about the story#it just puts a bad taste in my mouth sometimes and im not used to attention like this i guess
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reading the danganronpa kirigiri books makes it even clearer kyoko is just super autistic but in some of the funniest ways possible
#and she just stays saying the rudest shit but she knows what shes doing which is even better#the light novels make the characters better#when i reread danganronpa zero i realized that ryoko is just like. an enormous bitch. but again in the funniest way#like for example she beats on a door at like 1 am on a school night inside of a dorm screaming#and when the person she wasnt looking for comes out angry about the noise shes just like. can i fucking help you.#even dangaronpa togami made me like byakuya more. his bitchiness is a lot more endearing when youre following him as the protagonist#note im not suggesting autistic people are rude im saying no one can say she cant read social cues#she absolutely can she just doesnt fucking care
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screaming in the club

time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said âbut you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdymâ and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
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I loved your lgbtq avalanche hcs!!! Would you do one for the Turks plus Rufus? (I hope this doesn't sound pushy) Also I'm a big truther for trans fem sephiroth x trans masc genesis it just makes sense for me lol
omg i was actually working on this right before getting this ask but i was debating not posting it because it is really just theyâre all gay and i was worried it would just seem repetitive lol (since i project onto my faves and rufus/the turks happen to actually be very high on my fave character list)
my lgbtq+ headcanons for the turks (+rufus):
rufus: they/them nonbinary gay and on the asexual spectrum - i feel like heâs very closeted due to being such a public figure but heâs very open to the people around him! i definitely think he leans towards the transmasc end of the nonbinary spectrum but he also knows his father wanted a son so he chooses to still not really say heâs actually transmasc out of pure spite for his father
reno: he/they/she transman gay - he is obnoxiously flamboyantly gay!!! i can not be convinced otherwise!!! but heâs also just genuinely comfortable in his identity and doesnât care how anyone else perceives him! heâs also basically immune to trans/homophobes because he knows how to get under their skin and fight back! and i feel like he would be very defensive and protective over his trans friends too, also pre transition he was definitely a âgirls girlâ and i feel like he keeps that up post transition to an extent
tseng: he/him gay - heâs just comfortably gay yknow? he knew who he was basically all his life and he never thought anything of it! he will casually mention heâs gay if the topic arises but otherwise he makes no point to closet himself or out himself, he doesnât care what other people think of him or think his sexuality is because he knows who he is
rude: they/she demiboy and heavily on the aroace spectrum but mostly gay oriented - he doesnât care about sex or romance for the most part unless it is ultra specific people that are incredibly close to him!
cissnei: they/he nonbinary lesbian - sheâs another one that i think is just very comfortable in her identity, she never dwelled on it too much and just sort of knew, although i think sheâs very very open about who she is, sheâs proud of her identity
elena: she/they transwoman lesbian and on the aromantic spectrum - she feels like a lesbian in denial to me, like she knows deep down but sheâs still a little too scared to come to terms with it and about how sheâll be perceived, its not until she receives unwavering support from the people around her that sheâs able to finally feel free, happy and comfortable in who she is
and i was also planning on doing asgz hcs too lol and i probably still will but i am a huge transmasc gen truther!!! although i actually tend to lean more towards seph being agender! but i totally respect your hc too!!! i think transfem seph is an interesting take on him (in a positive way!) itâs just not my personal hc :)
#i respect all hcs!!! even if theyâre different from my own :) i know that mine wont be everyones cup of tea#i know my avalanche hcs were more diverse im just really attached to these characters and cant help but want them to be like me lol im sorry#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#the turks#rufus shinra#ff7 reno#ff7 rude#ff7 tseng#ff7 elena#ff7 cissnei#minus the bc turks because i havent gotten into bc yet and dont know much about them im sorry!#lgbtq+ headcanons
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Sometimes I think I am not that weird and anormal just spending time with my perfectly straight and neurotypical friends humbles me.
#three hours boy talk makeup talk insane straight girlie talk amd chain-smoking i am going insane#its so fucking alien to me like#omg#literally never felt like an alien like this before#and i cant make them leave they wanna be friends amd help me#amd their helping methods are trying to make me agree going to clubs and find a boyfriend and boring shit#i am happy in my room please leave go away i dont wanna hang out we are people of different worlds#but i dont wanna be rude#and i know i am the weird one actually
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