#i know this girl got anxiety
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cookiedough77 · 2 months ago
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i love writing marinette because she has a wack sense of thinking so i have to adapt that and i love ittttt, especially with anxiety you just put a bunch of what ifs and rapid thinking and yes....
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pikhachu · 3 months ago
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sighh late night extra bc i got pissed off and what i feel she feels
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shannonsketches · 11 months ago
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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girlfox · 5 months ago
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peeks my head in ,
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0809sysblings · 1 year ago
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Amane, indoctrination, and gaslighting
and why voting Amane innocent would be the best course of action
I've been wanting to write a big post on Amane talking about indoctrination and such. Because I see takes sometimes that make it clear the person doesn't really... Get It.
Most of what I'll be explaining comes from my personal experiences growing up.
Additionally, most of what I say when it comes to outcomes (i.e. "If x happens, Amane will do y") will be based on the assumption that realism, not entertainment, is prioritized in the writing and that there are no major holes in our knowledge of what's going on. Theoretically anything could happen since this is a fictional scenario and we don't know everything when it comes to the world, the cases, and the characters. Not to mention my situation was nowhere near as extreme as hers. So although I probably have a better understanding of it than most people, I definitely can't claim that I know what she's gone through.
Personal anecdotes I add to better support my points will be in the small font (this!) since I don't want them to distract from the main text and so that they can be easily skipped for those who may be worried about being triggered. But if anyone needs plain text descriptions, I'll happily provide them!
!! TW for child abuse, religious abuse, and cults !!
I recommend skipping my personal anecdotes if more detailed discussions about these topics are a trigger for you.
At the heart of "good" (read: successful) indoctrination is gaslighting.
Since gaslighting has been one of the many psychology terms completely watered down and distorted by the internet, I will define it just so we're all on the same page!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make the victim question their own sanity, sense of reality, or power of reasoning.
Basically, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts, your feelings, your interpretations, etc. You become completely reliant on other people (usually specific people who are the ones doing the gaslighting) to figure out what's real/true or not.
Toxic/extremist religious groups like to take gaslighting a step further though. Not only do they make it so you cannot trust yourself to judge what is right or not, they may also teach you that what feels wrong is actually right. You can see where this can start to cause some issues lol.
Anything your gut may tell you that contradicts what the group/cult leaders tell you—"this is wrong!", "this is bad!", "I don't want to do this..."—must be ignored. Because those feelings and thoughts, according to the leaders, are actually the sinful part of you trying to lead the good and faithful part of you astray. They make you question yourself to make sure you never question them.
They will figuratively or literally beat this into you until your first instinct is no longer to listen to your gut and do what it says, but to dismiss it and do what it's telling you not to do. Existing becomes a chronic power struggle between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the fact that you're struggling often then gets used against you as proof that you need to follow their teachings. Because if you're unhappy, then you must be doing something wrong. You just need to have a little more faith, dedicate a little more time to the religion/group, go a little harder into your duties... Only then will you feel better—feel more enlightened.
An integral part in making all this work is isolation. If you don't somehow isolate the members, they may figure out that they're being manipulated and abused.
Now, isolation doesn't always mean purely physical isolation (though Amane is being isolated physically to at least some capacity). Psychological isolation is almost just as powerful. An almost universal psychological isolation tactic used by extremist groups and cults is the "Us vs Them" mentality. We can see this being very prominent with Amane. A lot of things she talks about with regard to the cult involves an Us-vs-Them dynamic. There is "Us", the cult, and "Them", everyone else.
Personally, we were taught that those who weren't believers of our religion were out to get us or will, at the very least, get us hurt/killed somehow. We were told many people wanted us dead just for being believers. You had to be careful and watch out when interacting with non-believers; you couldn't trust them. God was constantly testing you via others, and you had to make sure you stayed faithful.
This in particular is why no matter if you vote guilty or innocent, that itself will not actually do anything to change her beliefs. Voting her guilty will not make her start to feel bad and then question her beliefs. Voting her innocent will not make her listen to us and then question her beliefs. If we make her have any doubt about the cult, that's just proof to her that what we're telling her is wrong and is just another "trial" from God for her to overcome. So, changing her beliefs should not be a factor considered when voting since it's completely irrelevant. Everything can be twisted to support the cult. That's just how it works.
I don't think any amount of punishment will make Amane "come to her senses". I mean... what could we possibly do to her that she hasn't already had to endure? Punishment will likely only escalate things even more. Not to mention that having a bit of a fascination with martyrdom isn't all that uncommon in those who have been religiously abused and indoctrinated. The threat of punishment may only serve to motivate her to double down on her beliefs and behavior. Not to say she wants and likes punishment. It's obvious she's both scared of punishment and wants it to stop. After all, that's most likely the motive behind the murder.
Even prior to Amane's age, I was already fantasizing about being a martyr. A part of me almost wanted to be killed for my religion and community. It was seen as something extremely admirable. The ultimate sacrifice, if you will. We were taught that if given the choice between saving yourself by denying your faith or letting yourself be hurt/killed by standing your ground, you should choose the latter. Of course, I also did not want that to happen at all. It scared me shitless. But we weren't allowed to be scared about that stuff. It was seen as questioning God and the religious authorities, which was completely taboo. So I had no choice but to "want" it.
Isolating Amane is the worst possible thing we could do to her. No one gets better from being isolated, and this goes double for people living in abusive environments. She's been isolated her whole life. The best thing for her would be spending time with the other prisoners without restrictions. The more time she spends around people who have no connection to the cult, the better. Trying to argue with those in cults about why they're wrong and why they are in a cult (because most don't even recognize they're in a cult due to the gaslighting, indoctrination, and stigma) will almost always backfire. The best thing to do is to just be there for them to have someone to interact with who is not a cult member.
The only reason I left the extremist religious community I grew up in was because I made a friend who was not affiliated with it. I don't think I would've been able to see that the conditions I was living in were Not Very Good without that friend. He didn't even really do anything to actively help me. Just learning more about the real world through him was enough to make me start looking closer at my life.
To vote her guilty would be to continue isolating her. Not just physically as the guilty prisoners get restrictions put on them, but it's also an inescapable psychological isolation. Innocent vs Guilty is just another Us vs Them dynamic.
I fear that, if she ends up guilty this trial, she will likely be voted guilty again in trial 3. Her aggression will probably only escalate as she feels herself becoming more and more cornered. And since I know many people are voting her guilty solely to make sure she doesn't hurt Shidou or other prisoners, I can only imagine what the voting will look like for her in trial 3 once she's forced to become even more aggressive to protect herself.
And tbh... I can't imagine that having a prisoner with 3 guilty verdicts will make for all that interesting of a story for them. Not that it would be boring, per se. But having variety would, in my opinion, be the most interesting and entertaining! So, if nothing else I've said has been able to sway those who vote her guilty, then think about the entertainment factor!
Please vote this severely traumatized 12 y/o girl innocent. We can give her so many secret cakes to eat.
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awfullybigwardrobe44 · 4 months ago
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I’ve been going through and reading sermons from Spurgeon. I found a website that has hundreds of them and I just stuck them all in a Google doc and highlighted the titles I felt interested me.
But I finally read his wiki biography tonight.
Was anyone going to tell me that I was reading the sermons of a 20-21 year old or was I supposed to figure that out myself 😂
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ace-and-ranty · 3 months ago
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I mean, if you feel like you're good at social interaction now, that you've had years of practice and learning, despite being truly bad at it as a child, and it still doesn't come super naturally, and you learned by watching other people, but not, like, consciously picking someone and copying them, just watching and learning, and practicing.
Is that an autism thing. Maybe. Perhaps.
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bunnyboy-juice · 17 days ago
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i stg medical professionals take an oath to ensure every patient they come in contact with endures maximum mental anguish over nothing.
#yeah sorry [ur doctors] office closed today and we cant do anything for you. you need to [message#how i already told her i did on patient portal] and hope they answer before monday#bunny rambles#crisis AVERTED#but also jfc#didnt know i needed the note#called the office after messaging(figured the double whammy wouldnt hurt) and the girl otp (who im p sure is the same one who ended up#WRTING MY NOTE AFTER ALL THIS) was like which is objectively the Scariest most Anxiety Inducing#way to say that (did not mention that the office's emails were being covered or anything). i emailed my HR rep to let her know about the#delay (cuz i wanted to keep her in the loop) and then busted into tears bc i was STRESSED bc the way the HR rep said it i could get in seri#trouble also bc im Only approved out until monday (so i Have to go back) and so im sobbing to my wife (also i have therapy in 10 min so im#anxious thinking i wont hear back AT ALL today and thinking of doing that at the same time made me upset cus i have thigngs out of crisis t#talk ab tthat weve been on) and then after an hour i got a note. becuase someone ws covering the email. which i asked about. and was told#no one could help until monday unless i get lucky.#literally so violently nauseous now ough#and like. Yes this is admittedly a bigger reaction than most ppl probably wouldve had but I HAD NO IDEA I EVEN NEEDED A NOTE BC THE PORTAL#FOR MY LEAVE HAD SELF REPORTED RTW AND NO ONE HAD CONTACTED ME UNTIL TODAY ABOUT IT#(well ok. technically i think Carol tried calling me yesterday and I missed it but i checked my voicemail this AM and also i have my#communication prefs on everything set to email bc i am more likely to see an email than answer the phone. and no one ever uses email bc they#think phone is Faster when it. really could've just been an email. anwyay. therapy time)
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faerun · 2 months ago
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ok this is why i need to stop being so negative about everything before I even try it because i started mouthwashing last night and. yeah. it's real good and the tiktok algo was right this game is right up my alley. i want to draw everyone now
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miabrown007 · 1 year ago
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girl who sucks at making OCs needs to make a DnD character send help
#I did make one who was rad but then got vetod by the DM and now I handed in a half-elf wizard but she's just so basic#she literally has no personality send help#and also idk what direction should we take because I have no idea what the other people will be like in the party#and I'm the only girl player there so I don't want for that to be like be a thing and bring a stereotipically girly character#and I could make her like a standard bookish wizard which obviously stands very close to me and would be super easy to play#but that's so cliche and I don't want to be like everyone's mom in game if everyone else is just running around and fucking shit up#but I know that I'll have a harder time playing a more reckless and careless character and if there isn't going to be someone#thinking for the team and we just go headfirst into stuff that also sucks.#and like I like to be someone who thinks about the solutions it just can't just be me being the party pooper if you get me#but poor wizard girl is just so mid with her 'my parents wanted me to be an X wizard but I'm gonna be an Y wizard instead' backstory#like wow such rebellion you're gonna show them girl#but at this point I'm a week behind schedule so I need to have a character like for yesterday#and I don't want to just copy others' dnd characters from D20 but they have like a group cohesion and individual arcs and that's so cool#and I suck at making up little men#miaing#mia's dnd adventures#I'm stressing so much over just making a character and meeting strangers bringing a character with anxiety disorder wouldn't even be rp#I guess great that my sorcerer got vetoed how would I play out being the face of the party
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imjustavenuxwithaboomerang · 5 months ago
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thinking about how when i was in lower elementary, there was this kid that was a grade beneath me that just like...hugged me against my will, multiple times, and i was worried that i would get in trouble if i pushed him off so i would just stand there and wait for him to let go-
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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inkats · 5 months ago
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is it autism or is it a symptom of previous longterm social isolation and lack of agency ?
#i think. im not good at being a person.#ive finally gotten some alone time and i am reflecting. and well.#i dont think you can make me socially aware ^-^ i dont think i'll ever get good at it.#i donknow why ^-^👍 and i dont think it matters 👍#i think hes getting tired of me alreadyyyy......#and i think. lots of other ppl . dont see me wout him already also.#ive managed this already... impressive ^-^#but the japanese international girls like me so !!! it doesnt matter !!! i have. two nice friends. and 1 intimidating friend.#i will not get bullied or made fun of or be in ungetoutable bad situations bc of. mafia friend.#and then i will recharge and be silly around. nice friends.#i think the fact that im actively thinking about this. doesnt do anything for my case.#i think. im getting masking lessons. when i hang out w him. if it really is the autism. and im failing a little bit.#he thinks ive got anxiety. 💭💭 psych major ass. sorry. my roommates also psych major. why are they. talkers.#theyre scawy.#they both got adhd too. whats with that#anyway.#i want to get a haircut.#and hes like. well. hes literally 4 real a model. and his mom was a model. and all his friends were. guess what. models.#so. scary. so i will go to a shitty salon w a nice normal level of social skill friend and then not say anything i think.#i love yapping on here this is awesome. i can just say anytging.#non u know me in real life#how did i end up making friends w the most 'popular guy' guy in the world this is so stressful.#everyone likes him. there are ppl who only talk to me to get an idea of where he might be at. what happened.#howd i go from friendless loser to. loser but in a completely different friend environment. friends w guy who is too good at making friends#but chooses to hang out w me ? does he choose to do that. is it all coincidence?#how did i get here. it really doesnt feel real#i want. to . explode.#yknow i never even really talked to boys before this also. wtf. wtf..#i have only been saying nice things so far i think but i think its important to know that he. scares me. hes so from bc.#i have always been scared of island ppl theyre. all so mad always. and guess what he is too. and yet here i am.
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sieglinde-freud · 1 year ago
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pretty girls cry and sob and bitch and whine about chrom and inigo’s future past conversation all the time
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arcane-vagabond · 1 year ago
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#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point#i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one#i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit#and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair#and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again#i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl#and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it#and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill#and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with#and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own#i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person#and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks#also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me#and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now#and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do#and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this#but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me#and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end#anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down
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akkivee · 2 years ago
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the reason ichiro’s under the impression people just text their feelings at each other is because that’s how kuukou love mailed him all the time lmao
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