#i know theyre adults and they can do whatever they want with their bodies and i have no say in it

[biblicalhorror]

Having so much anxiety about my friends doing so many whip-its in front of me and trying not to be judgemental but also literally having a panic attack at work thinking about it and wishing I could just snap my fingers and make everyone stop doing them forever

[ivorsblocksleeve]

the mcsm fandom fuckin sucks dude

As a long time member of the furry, danganronpa, and BNHA fandom im not the type of person who likes to generalize entire fandoms based off of experiences i hear about or have with other people in said fandoms. but the MCSM fandom is such a filthy stain on the internet and so many people in the community have gotten WAY out of hand. the constant racism and whitewashing of characters. people publicly talking about NSFW topics in numerous discord servers that have children in them, sometimes with people under 13 years old. the ridiculous amount of drama surrounding character headcanons among other things. its RIDICULOUS

im a black guy. i can care less about the "issue of blackwashing", it does not exist and never has existed. i care a LOT about the whitewashing in this community. there are multiple jesse skins for a reason, to represent a ton of different peoples races! red suspenders jesse is literally WHITE! if you want to draw white jesse draw HIM! why are people whitewashing the other jesse skins? why are people whitewashing characters like radar, stella, olivia, etc?? MCSM as a game has blessed its community with a wide range of characters of different ethnicities and races (even if not directly stated) and none of them are stereotyped, theyre all incredibly well written and have great characterizations but unappreciative morons are choosing to whitewash the shit out of them :/. the characters are so easy to colorpick. theyre minecraft characters. literally pixels. coloring people of different skin colors is NOT a difficult thing. have some common sense and use references properly.

im an adult who likes adult things. as an adult i understand boundaries and that talking to minors about sexual headcanons is NOT a good thing! woah! some of you dont understand how important it is to tag certain shit on different sites correctly or how to keep conversations about NSFW topics away from people who are WAY younger than you. vague jokes are one thing but time after time ive either heard or seen myself that grown ass people are describing explicitly sexual things with minors. gross much???? and PUBLICLY of all things. its one thing to have your own friend group or whatever, its fine to discuss things in private so long as its with someone in your fucking age range but JESUS CHRIST! MCSM discord servers have become BREEDING GROUNDS for these kinds of adult NSFW discussions with minors and it only creates a domino effect where they too start sharing that in OTHER MCSM servers with OTHER minors. ITS GROSS!!

(whole paragraph above also applies to headcanons and aus that are also potentially triggering. jesus christ some things should just be kept in private convos on the internet)

and my god the DRAMA over characters its insane. its completely fine to dislike certain headcanons and to have certain opinions on them. you can publicly voice your opinions in a RESPECTFUL manner. it really is not hard.?? at all. there are a ton of headcanons i hate personally, i rant about them in private and if i ever feel like voicing about them in public ill say it in a respectful manner. if someone dislikes a headcanon you like it is not a personal attack on your entire being. relax dude. i will always agree with the statement that fiction affects reality but my god they are just FICTIONAL CHARACTERS that you do not know personally and you do NOT need to go on a rampage and witch-hunt people because people say things like "i think xyz character has a different body type!" or "i think xyz character is a certain sexuality!". this especially applies to age headcanons. ages are NOT CANON, sure there are characters that appear to be older than others but ages are always up for speculation. not everyone is going to agree with your "minor coded" headcanons, dont attack and throw proshipper/pedo accusations on people who dont? id go into the infantilization of the characters who get this kinda treatment but different problem different day. point is, headcanons are headcanons and sending swarms of people after people who disagree with them is DUMB and STUPID and NOT NICE! stop doing that

in general this fandom harbors horrible mindsets and even more horrible people who i will not name and frankly its getting very frustrating seeing how the people in this fandom treat each other. have some respect for others and also yourselves. fix up your behaviors, dont make your bad attitudes everyones problem, and spend some time off the internet. have a good day yall

[jazzyblusnowflake]

OMG hi…I really like your art and was wondering if you wanna be mutuals??????????? Also tell me about your MD ships :3c

honey we are dating- .....okay yknow what- HI PRETTY & TALENTED LADY- yess i will absolutely love toooo 🙈💕💕💕💕💕

also lets see uhhh okay this is an excuse for me to just... expload-

keep in mind not every ship is meant for all of you so dont badger me about stuff that ISNT CANON or YOU DONT SHIP. contrary to whatever you believe, when somone posts about THEIR ships, nobody wants to hear about you NOT shipping it on THAT EXACT post.

hang in there, this gon be a long one >:p

First off we are starting strong with Nuzi- Biscuitbites obviously thats a given- these two just have too much to be said about why and how they make eachother the best version of eachother, whether they ever became canon or not- they fit like puzzle pieces- they lessen eachothers negative traits by being their for eachother.

next is Vuzi- Violentviolet, they are my favorite kind of enemies to lovers 😔 but its also tragic smh. kinda pissed off at how V always does something good in Uzis favor only when she is LITERALLY PASSED OUT- either in the camp ep on the bus or in Alices lab. like damn ofFUCKINGcourse Uzi wouldnt know she cares about her 😭😭😭

envuzi- Violentbitingbiscuits, i love these goobers with all my heart- they deserve the best 😔💕💕💕💕

envy - [does this poor ship just NOT have an exclusive FINDABLE tag name??? im calling them GoldenMemories...], i like to think that if they were in the manor still, and nothing bad had ever happened, these two would be comforting eachother in the healthiest way possible. V needs someone like N and N is just adorable like that uwu

Next we have JxTessa/Jessa- [calling them Fancyblades cuz why not-] J deserves some closure for the shit shes gone through smhhh 😔, its a tragic yuri of J loving and wanting something she probably already accepted she couldnt have, and even then she gotta deal with Ns ass being the favorite one regardless of how hard she tries to be perfect... sighhh i wanna imagine them in a future where Tessa was spared as the only human and J could save her 😭😭😭😭 Tessa might have loved doing mechanical stuff or wore black to hide grease/oil stains on her clothes from her parents and wore gloves to hide her oily stained hands- i want her to have a scene of wiring drones back to life and saving them and saying something like "hey there, you made it! dont worry, ill take care of you, youre my friend now :3" or something //dies//, also before anyone says it- even if Tessa was a teen in the flashbacks- romance is not exclusive to ADULTS, teens can love eachother without having sexual stuff involved. no she was not their MOTHER figure, she was their FRIEND who liked to fix robots for herself to not be alone in a house where her own parents literally chain her up as punishment. i dont even know why im arguing about this, people headcanon or make aus about characters NOT being dead all the time and if Tessa was alive for as long as J thought she was, Tessa would have been a perfectly fine adult either way. so counting this, yes shes canonically considered an adult when Cyn tries to imitate an adult humans body 🙄 makes as much sense as everything else i guess-

next ones i got is NorixYeva/Neva- Solverlilies- i just think theyre neat 😭😭😭 and once again, like everything else in this franchise- they are tragic yuris 😔 damn liam im finding a pattern over here 🤨 anyway, i like to think they either got closer in the lab experimentations or were already close when they were working as WDs in the campsite area for the humans. obviously canonically they were probably straight or just not into eachother romantically- [Nori either u have the worst taste men or Khan just fucking lost it after you died-] but also on the other handddd.... they have 2 hands and they are robots, i want them to kiss like two barbie dolls and im gonna make them do just that-

DollxLizzy/Dizzy- Bloodypink, wost fucking ship names ever, i cant find shit on them with these tags and it makes me angry >:/ at this point 2/3s of my ships are just tragic yuris smh, Doll did not deserve any of the things handed to her, even if she went about doing some things the wrong way i wish Lizzy didnt just abandon her- but then again, Doll did kinda abuse Lizzys trust and Lizzy got scared of being close to a serial murderer so.... morality calls this a draw? 😭 im crying... i wish someone was there to help Doll... sigh... i like to think Lizzy would have waited for Doll to just come back at some point... oh well, thats why AUs exist :"3 //sobs in the corner//

DollxUzi/Dollzi- Bloodybats, this ship is so underrated to me... they could have been... so much more. but why weren't they? did Yeva abandon ever getting close to Uzi when she was a kid after Nori died? did Uzi and Doll just never play around together as kids when their mothers were so close? were they ever close and something went wrong as they grew older? at worst they could have been like sisters together, and at best maybe more than friends. i just dont know what happened here, like Yeva could have tried to keep an eye on Uzi, maybe Uzi could have found Dolls powers so cool before having them too- i dont know theres literally tons of possibilities- but if Doll deserved to be saved or cared for by anyone, at least one of them should have been Uzi... sigh.

ThadxV- Killingblonde, yall this is... the cutest shit... ever???? like from here on out we kinda go into the more or less crackship territory but these two are adorable- Dumbass yet wholesome jock boy that just wants to keep his queen happy 😔👌👌👌 He and Uzi would have so much to talk about on "crushing on literal murder bots that stabbed and almost ate us" its literally love at first stab smhhh 😫💕

ThadxSam- Smokyjock ???? for some fucking reason??? i dont know what my brain did here man- i just like the trope of someone getting under Thads skin- like pair up the healthy sports loving gym boy with the lazy but wholesome dumbass that does drugs or is always just sleep deprived and Thad is always trying to just... take care of his ass and make him take care of himself but he just WONT SMHHH-

okay some more or less crack ships down here:

ThadxN: it speaks for itself. its too adorable and youll go blind from the light of wholesomeness-

ThadxNxUzi: Uzi will die here from the overwhelming wholesomeness... oh bonus if its just a 4s polycule of ThadxNxUzixV i mean i know im pushing my luck but.... random crackships go brr- V and Uzi will complain but love their dumbass golden puppy partners-

ThadxUzi: i think they could have been close and Thad caring about her as a childhood friend turned crush sounds just too cute for me 😔

LizzyxUzi: another random ass rivals to lovers or some shit idk what this is, Lizzy would pay Uzi to kiss the fuck out of her i dont make the rules-

ThadxLizzy: in some cases where they are NOT headcanoned as siblings or cousins, i think they have a good energy of wholesome jock bf and girly queen cheerleader lol, Thad is just a good bf eitherway-

DollxUzixLizzy: the gals would not leave a single second of silence for the small gremlin i swear to God- [Uzi is gay as FUCK for her gfs, absolute girloser unit with her gorgeous but crazy gfs]

okay for the end i have some characters that arent ships but i wish they could have become closer as friends or work out their issues...

J and N- too much abuse and toxicity here, i wish they could talk together more and see they have a lot of things in common- maybe a full line of dialogue from J without threatning N in every sense of the manner would be nice for a change =_=

Doll and V- again, a bit morally ambiguous to ship a character with the murderer of your family, esp when said murderer hasnt expressed regret lmao, but i wish they could at least be friends... Dolls disdain for the murder drones pushed her to end up the way she did. maybe if she didnt do it alone she would have been alive by now. so i like to think what would have happened if she and V could have made up- not necessarily Doll forgiving her- but at least having the space to grow and understand why they did they things that happened.

Cyn and literally ANYONE- i want the solver to be SEPARATE from Cyn- i wish Cyn would have still existed somewhere down there and was savable- i wish this poor child AI had a happy ending to her by connecting with the others as ACTUAL siblings... goddamnit 😔

aaaand thats it for this fine ass day 🫡 yall are welcome to ask about any of these- boy the tags are gonna be.... a lot.

[dannyphantom-justiceleauge]

I kinda wanna see Jason & several others get a bit of a reality check.I've seen comments that Bruce trains kids as 'child soldiers' &??? The only child soldiers are Damien & Steph?? And they didn't become them because of Batman??

From what I recall, Dick, Jason, & Tim all insisted on vigilanteism. Like, Bats TRIED to get them to just stay home where it was safe, but they refused!

Like, what do people expect Bats to have done? Lock them in a dungeon & never let them out?

It's about a 50/50 that would've even worked & on the 50% chance that they did get out, they would've immediately started crime fighting again!

Or, should Bruce have just left them to their own devices, like "not my problem?" They would've either died trying to be heroes on their own & without guidence or grown up to hate the Bat even more for his apethy towards their problems.

Like, whether Jason, or anyone else, likes it or not, Bruce training them was a best case scenario.

All Batman did was try to heard them in the least dangerous direction that he could by giving them the tools to not die a horrible death.

Obviously, it didn't always work (i.e. Jason), but what does Jason expect Bruce to have done in his situation? What would've been the better alternative?

Honestly, I think the problem is that his anger is too big to pin onto just one person, but at the same time, he doesn't want to admit that he got himself into the situation that got him killed. Jason decided to chase after his birth mother without Bruce's aid. Jason went to Ethiopia. Yes, it happened because the Joker believed that there was some sort of connection between Todd & Batman, but how could Batman control that?

Like, I'm not saying that Jay doesn't have a legitimate right to be furiously angry at Bruce. I just think that he should focus on the things that the overgrown furry could actually control & did not handle correctly.

Like, the fact that he was hurt about Tim becoming Robin is understandable, but he didn't really have all the facts to understand the context surrounding Tim becoming Robin. Like the fact that Bruce was not functioning well without a Robin or that Tim refused to just stop when he wastold to. There was more to the situation than what Jay was aware of.

At the same time, his arguments about Bruce not avenging him or burying him with the Wayne name. I can understand that & actually very much agree with him.

Batsy should've killed the Joker or, at least, walked away while Dick did it if he wasn't strong enough to do it himself.

But, he didn't. And I get not wanting your kid to have to walk around with that kind of guilt hanging over his head, but reviving the effing Joker went WAY too far.

At the same time, Jason also should've just killed the Joker the moment he got the chance to. Deciding to use the sack of shit to punish Bats, was a dumbass idea. He should've shot his ass & then double, triple, & quadruple tapped, just to make sure.

Then, if he wasn't to be a dramatic asshole, put the Joker's head on a pike in the most visited part of Gotham with a sign with some sort of literary quote. Something to the tune of "Hey ho, the Wicked Witch is dead" or something with that sort of message.

As for the rest of the Joker's body? I'd suggest going the route of John Haigh. Just to be safe...

Gruesome, I know, but you know what? Whatever it takes to clean out the garbagio.

I know what you mean. I think the fandom and people outside the family give brice greif about the child soldier thing more than the kids themselves do. As far as ive seen dick, jason, tim, damian, and even steph own that robin is something they chose. It wasnt sething batman necessarily made them, its something they needed to do. Batman gets a lot of critism, like wise the league has argued about having sidekicks and teams like the titans and yj because theyre children. More often than not i see conflict about the adults trying to take the hero persona away, than about being given the cape in the first place.

But it can be complicated. I have heard the kids regret being vigilantes and regret what they've been made into by the job. So dick will never regret saving lives but he does regret his inability to settle down, the trained to a fault paranoia, the physical scars and mental wounds. The blame of that doesnt fall on batman or bruce. But on some level all kids feel like their parents are supposed to protect them and there's a point where you realize they can't. This is even more true when your a vigilante and exposed to untold danger. Bruce is a man and he isnt perfect so he can't protect his kids from everything. That hurts him more than it hurts his kid. But its still difficult to get hurt and be disappointed that yoir dad, that your hero wasn't there to save you.

Which brings me to jason. I recognize where you're coming from with jasons anger being irrational and all over the place. But what you gotta understand is that

1. He went through a rediculous amount of trauma. Like the time line of events is: bruce accused him of murdering a guy who commited suicide, jason got mad and found evidence of his birth mother, so he ran away to Ethiopia, he and bruce met up their almost coincidentally because bruce was tracking the joker and that communicate bruce didn't care that jason ran away, jason gets beaten with a crowbar and his mother also gets hurt because the joker is a bastard. The joker sets up a bomb and jason struggles to get he and his mom out despite his wounds. The bomb goes off and jason dies right as batman arrives. Then 6 months later jason wakes up and has to literally claw his way out of his own grave. Afterwhich he is catatonic qnd living on the streets until talia finds him

2. He was being manipulated. Talia found jason and trained him with the league and put him in the lazerus pit so he could recover higher brain function. She gave him everything he needed to train and get vengeance and framed it as a favor to her beloved. But she didn't tell the whole truth and didnt have all the information. Her actions here weren't altruistic. Its heavily implied she was sending jason as her loyal soldier to get rid of tim to clear the way for Damian.

3. The lazerus pit is essentially a drug that amplifies emotions. You could think of it as jason being on steroids. While his actions and emotions are his own they were amped up and irrational. So a lot of his irrational behavior and half thought out plans and stupity can be tied back to him having this 'drug' in his system. Emotions take the wheel and make people stupid without drugs amplifying things

But as i said his actions and the root of his feelings are still his own. So as to the why jason is so angry... well its not just that he was replaced or that he died. It that his death seemingly meant nothing. Jason died and seemingly nothing in gotham changed. He didn't see bruce greive. He didnt know that bruce almost killed the joker twice or that dick temporarily succeeded. He didnt know tim wasnt chosen but decided for himself to be robin. What jason aw was that within months of him dying there was another kid in his cape running around gotham and making quips like jason never existed. He saw the joker, his murderer, still on the steets still torturering and killing people. He saw bruce wayne with a new adopted kid. He saw his tenure, his life, the job that he died for reduced to a memorial in the bat cave with a plaque saying "a good soldier". Not a good son. No one but bruce and alfred were at his funeral.

So jason wasnt mad that tim replaced him. He wasnt mad that he died trying to save his mother. He was made that it seemingly effected nothing. That his death meant nothing to his family and it meant nothing to gotham.

If he wasnt mad at tim than why did he almost murder him? To send a message and to teach a lesson. He wanted tim to understand that robin is dangerous and that Bruce's protection was an empty promise. Jason could have killed tim in titans tower, but he didnt. Because tim dying wasnt the goal.

Why go through a convoluted plot to make batman do it? Well, initially it was jason being irrational. He got it into his head that bruce needed to prove that he loved him, to prove that hed protect him by defeating the monster. Jason wanted Bruce to choose being his dad over his no kill rule. And bruce chose the rule.

So that seemingly said, bruce doesnt love him, possibly never loved him. And this is further exhasperated by bruce sucking at communication. Bruce didn't just chose not to kill the joker when given the ultimatum, he threw a batarang at jason. Bruces will said jason was his biggest mistake. Bruce meant it in a 'i fucked up' way but jason took it as further 'adopting and you was a mistake'. Its shit and with the magic equivalent of .drugs further clouding things. Jason having tantrums and always shotting on bruce and the fam is understandable even if its not fair.

Why not kill the joker himself? Well part of that is fear. Jason has tried a few times to kill the joker and between the fucker being somewhat immortal for convoluted reason, trauma making jason freeze up, and outside interference it just hasnt taken.

As for bruce himself not killing the joker or bruce reviving the joker after dick killed him... well that comes back to the rule itself and bruces motivation for never killing. When bruce was younger he wanted to kill the guy who killed his parents. And alfred explained that taking a life is permanent and puts a weight on your soul. Its something you cant take back and something you have to live with forever. Showing people mercy, giving people a second chance is always the kinder option. Bruce made his rule initially because hes a kind person and he didn't want to carry the weight of murder. Likewise he revived the joker after dick killed him because he doesnt want dick to live with that weight, to live with that regret. Later on the rule took a more sinister tone because batman has seen who he becomes when starts killing. He also knows that if he starts killing hed never stop. Its a weird moral absolute but he knows if he could excuse killing the joker he could excuse killing anyone. And eventually anyone would include people who can change and innocents.

Its a little dumb of a moral absolute but its part if Bruce's character. I think its important to recognize the strength that it takes to show mercy to someone a shitty and undeserving as the joker. That kinda why theyre locked into being nemesis. The joker is ar his core nihilistic. He creates suffering because life is hopeless and nothing matters so may as well laugh at the pain. Batman is someone whos felt a lot of pain and is angry at the world that hurts people, but he is someone who gave himself hope and he is someone who sees the good in people even when they dont recognize the good in themselves. He is merciful and that is an act of kindness.

I do think the joker is beyond redemption at this point. It's the trolly problem at the end of the day: is the jokers recovery worth the lives of everyone hes killed tortured, drugged, and maimed? No. If the joker were to get suddenly better and regret his actions, it wouldnt bring anyone back and very few people would forgive him. Hed never be able yo reenter society or have a normal life. Hes never been a character who deserved mercy, but mercy isnt something you give because it's deserved. Personally i'd be more merciful to the jokers victims and put the fucker down.

But thats not my call. It isn't even really batmans call. At the end of the day batman is just a man in a suit. He isnt god and he isnt judge, jury, or executioner. To kill is a choice and batman chooses not to.

A better question is why the jokers life and death is considered batmans responsibility? And why is murder what jason needs for bruce to prove he loves him? I think thats where jason needs the wake up call. Murder isnt a normal response to having your kid murdered, even if im sure all parents going through that think about it. So why does jason need bruce to kill him so bad?

To feel safe. Jason can never feel safe so long as the joker is around and a dad is supposed to keep you safe. Bruce didnt.

Murder and mercy is where their breakdown of communication is. Bruce choses to be merciful to the villains he's fighting. Jason choses to kill the monsters so the victims can feel safe again.

- Hestia

[jelliegirl]

✈️🖊️💯🐉🎂 for atlas :D

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

very much homey, they never left home before they met anya! they dont have a lot of freedom to travel, and they dont have much interest in doing so anyway, but they would prefer to spend time exploring and wandering through nature in their kingdom rather than being stuck in High Society (literally, because their castle floats!)

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

no, atlas thinks their body is perfect as it is

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

ho hum... atlas can read other people's thoughts and emotions passively so theyre constantly parsing through a lot of (often stressful) information, their room is extremely messy, aaand... they were born through whimsical magical means and were never actually a baby

🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?

its gotta be the mothman

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE — when is your oc's birthday? how old are they? what are their sun, moon, & rising signs (if known)? what about their tarot card, ruling planet, & ruling number (if known)? do they fit the typical traits of these sun, moon, & rising signs?

ok i cant really answer these questions how the meme wants me to but ill try my best

atlas is very young for an archfey but also very old by mortal standards. time is out of sync between atlas's world and anya's so when anya falls asleep sometimes years pass for atlas. theyve known each other for most of atlas's adult life, at least a few centuries, which is 8 years for anya. its hard to track time in the feywilds and it's always night time so they have no idea how old they are, time blurs together for them and they are quite bored ^^; based on the description id choose gemini sun, scorpio moon, aquarius rising for atlas. idk if thats cosmically possible but whatever, its about the vibes baby! their tarot cards would be the tower and the moon.

[sillybloodyr4t]

hi yes hello I am back from the pits of hell

gonna yap a bit since I feel like yall might like to know where I've been

short explanation: at my aunts house and she wouldn't let me get on my laptop bc I was up at 2am on it and also I fucking hate it here

So erm. My aunt got upset with me bc I was up at 2am on my laptop. It was understandable I guess, but everyone usually goes to bed at midnight like what-

The next morning she told me to get off it, but then said "You know what? Let me see something real quick 😊😊😊" ...what kind of teenager who spends a shit ton of time on devices wouldn't be freaked out by that?? So I was like Ok... what do you want to see...

This BITCH. OH MY GOD. She kept gatekeeping what she was going to do, so OF FUCKING COURSE I was scared. I kept asking what she wanted to do with my laptop bc I kind of have trust issues with my devices (I dont trust people with my devices bc there is a high chance theyre going to see something and think its weird or whatever), and when I said that I had trust issues with this kind of thing she got OFFENDED because I didn't trust my 'dear aunt' who totally wouldn't take a look at just my pfp and ask me a million god damn questions. If she found out about this place she'd be 'concernend' and whatnot (She has a 'problem' with the LGBTQ+ pretty much).

She then said that the way I was acting was like someone who has an ADDICTION. She then ranted and shit about how heartbroken she was that I didn't trust her enough to randomly take my laptop and do whatever the hell she wanted with it. She said she "was just going to look at the clock." Yk she sure as hell wasn't acting like that was what she was going to do.

Not only did she do that shit, she's been making me stress the fuck out about school next year.

Basically, she's been saying "if you dont change this you're going to get bullied". I already know that I'm an ugly and wretched little human. MUST you rub it in??

She has also been commenting that the shit I wear AND WORE FOR A GOOD PORTION OF LAST YEAR made me look like a lesbian. This is the same woman who said an outfit I picked out for a dance made me look like an 'adult lesbian'. She has also said that "Lesbians don't like it when you dress like them, They will make you cry" BITCHHHHH DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANY LESBIANS??? TF??

ANDDD She even said at one point that I need to 'tone down my stomach'. EXCUSE ME?? I have woken up several times feeling nauseous because I haven't been eating breakfast. I HARDLY EVEN EAT BETWEEN MEALS HERE. I am LITERALLY not eating as much as I usually do!! What the fuck do you mean??

This isn't even the first time she's basically body shamed me.

My cousin did say that my aunt believes that all girls in high school need to be skinny because my cousin didn't really eat much and had some health issues when she was in high school. (she's a college graduate btw).

Might add more to this if I can remember what else she did so far bc Im lowkey lazy and I dont want to yap anymore

[magnoliamyrrh]

i find the whole conversation around self-dxing to be interesting too because while self-dxing can indeed be dangerous and bad, on the other hand i am also quite anti-psychiatry, if youve got something youve obviously got it without a diagnosis, and getting a diagnosis can be hard af

like idk i think way too many ppl push this "go get therapy go get professional help and evaluation!!!" thing all the time. as if many therapists and psychs arent stupid af, as if they cant be wrong, as if they cant further traumatize someone, as if they can't be smart and kind ppl but Still get things wrong. and as if the entire psych system for the most part isnt fucked in manyyy ways...... like... yea, if you can and find a good one go i guess depending on circumstance... but you better take everything they say with a grain of salt too, wtf

.... yes teenagers and in general young ppl self diagnoing themselves with 2000 things is harmful. they may be doing it either for attention, because its cool and trendy, bc theyve actually got histrionic or mauchausens, bc theyre pathologizing normal human reactions, or bc theyve not done enough actual research and went off of articles which explain things in such a way that frankly most humans would relate. or they may confuse disorders among each other, or they may not be pragmatic enough abt it. yes this is a huge issue. weve got 20000 teenagers and young adults and even some adults running around saying theyve got turrets or did or autism or bpd or ocd or whatever the hell is trendy. psych wards for symptoms and conditions (which are themselves often imperfect) have been watered down to an extreme and are thrown around. therapy talk is being used to make excuses for behavior which should not be excused

...... at the same time. yea self diagnosis isnt inherently harmful all the time. the ppl who say otherwise and are 2000% certain only docs can tell u shit arent skeptical enough of docs. with some things its obvious. i didnt need any doctor to tell me i had anorexia nervosa or bulimia lmaoooo that shit was obvious and clear as day. i didnt need to be told i had bpd, i caught on at a young age i had it, and bc i neither could go to therapy nor wanted to, i spend years understanding that disorder on every which side and way and recovering from it myself. it saved my life. i dont even wanna know how bad things would have been if i didnt accept i had that and understood it - and yea, i didnt need no doctor to tell me to know. and low and behold, docs agree i used to have bpd, still hsve some symptoms, but have mostly recovered from it. funnily enough i caught onto having some sort of osdd/did years ago, than denied it completely to myself for years, than i couldnt ignore it and deny it anymore. ended up getting a diagnosis for that too. :/ i figured i had adhd for years on end but docs either thought it was something else or i wouldn't bring it up much. low and behold i have a diagnosis and the high doses of adhd meds i can handle without feeling st all "drugged out" are proof that i do actually have adhd

if anything lmaoo i have personal experience with having a crazy psych. a woman who mistook cptsd&osdd/did for bipolar disorder, gave me drugs literally illegally which ate at my body and told me not to tell anyone, and also yelled at me that i was crazy. had a therapist who thinks being molested makes ppl homosexual and that step-parent sexual attraction is normal on some level.....;;;; like;;;;;;..... yea. the psychs and therapists arent some sort of final say people. they can be crazy and they can be wrong

and the idea that Inherently someone with bpd, or did/osdd or whatever else Cant Know of their disorder before being told (tho the latter was actually suggested to me many yrs ago by someone) is just. wrong and harmful frankly. yea in some cases pls dont know, or theyre in extreme denial (like with anorexia). but not with all. not with all. 👀 my psychs found it surprising how self aware i was, impressive, but they did not think this was some sort of disqualification

idk. yea. like. theres definetely issues around self-dex especially in the hell were living today but acting like its Always Inherently Bad and Will Never Help and docs are some sort of authority who are the only ones with some say... ,,,, yeaaaa. no. that's also dangerous

[bmpmp3]

I FINALLY watched that barbie movie that came out, i watched it last night! it was cute and pretty solid i thought. and then immediately after finishing that i watched the 1989 found footage tv movie ufo abduction/the mcpherson tape?

barbie was mostly very funny (that smallpox joke is inexcusable tho) it seems aimed for maybe a tween-teen kind of audience? i havent heard of many big huge movies aimed at that demographic recently so thats really nice

you know i was worried id be insufferable to both barbie movie fans and barbie movie haters because i have 1) a doll hobby 2) too much interest in doll history and 3) a complete lack of trust and respect for mattel as a company in the past decade and i figured you wouldnt be able to talk to me about it without me um-actually-ing every two seconds BUT it wasnt as egregious as i expected in regards to doll history myths

im especially glad they didnt call stuff like happy family midge and earring magic ken like "recalled" or "banned" or whatever 'cause thats just one of those myths LOL BUT discontinued is a weird term... yeah they were discontinued but like. all dolls are some day. from what i can tell both those dolls werent even like prematurely (heh) discontinued or anything most reports seem that happy family midge sold okay (although there seems to have been controversies at least with the wedding ring and cardboard cutout husband situations) and earring magic ken probably didnt sell well. because hes ken. the earring magic barbies in the line probably sold better LOL i guess a better term could have been like. controversial barbies? infamous barbies? sugar's daddy ken is true and hilarious tho, although if i remember correctly it was like a collectors doll meant for adults that just never got released in the first place

I DID love tanner's inclusion. i love that stupid shitting dog so much i wanted it so bad as a kid but i didnt care about the barbie so it would have been a waste of a playset

speaking of not caring about the barbie so like. i didnt really like barbies as a kid. i didnt really like dolls. i was a furry i only liked animal shaped toys LOL i did have one barbie i picked out myself, fairytopia kindlee who i loved and adored and lost and i dream about her forever. but yeah nothing less interesting to me both as a child and as an adult than a default face sculpt blue eyed blonde barbie toy, which is, as most adults interesting in the modern day toy industry can attest, the reason for our disdain for mattel HFJDKHFDJS actually its more than that - weirdly inflated prices for cheaply made clothes and low quality printing, strangely dated fashion, the weird all or nothing either bare minimum 5 points of articulation or full out double jointed mtm bodies (where is single jointed elbows...i miss her....), THE DECADE LONG REIGN OF TERROR OF THE GLUE HEAD (although we're finally past that), why are those collectors dolls so expensive they look the same quality, why did they make that collectors mermaid ken white from the brown guy in the concept art, in canada the pricing and availability is wacky so i imagine its even worse everywhere else outside the US, this is a personal thing but why does every mattel doll ive ever owned like combust at its joints randomly. am i cursed? do i have a mattel curse? ive been thinking about this for years why does the plastic just disintigrate the second it enters my home what god did i anger. what plastic god did i anger. help me my bloodline has been cursed by some sort of polyvinyl based deity beyond my comprehension

anyway as i was saying it was a little sobering watching a movie with a good fashion and prop and set budget do a take on the memories of what barbie dolls used to be and then thinking about that absolutely dire state we're in rn. bro i kept looking at outfits like modern mattel would never. theyre too busy making half printed t shirt dresses with a random ruffle attached on the side <3 but vintage mattel would also not be as diverse. although neither mattel has an actually fat doll so. um. thats the saddest um-actually im gonna do :(

ive been joking to myself for years that barbie is the name of the species, ken might be some kind of subspecies, so it is funny to see the brand in both real life stores and also this movie lean into that. barbie really is a species. they do move in herds. wait im getting distracted anyway years ago barbie had a big refresh where they leaned into the idea that anyone can be barbie - everyone is barbie: they brought out new body types (standard, tall, short, and slightly curvy) which was a big step, a bigger range of skintones and all kinds of new face molds and screenings, also theres like bald barbies and barbies with prosthetics and wheelchair barbies are made way more often. and all this is fantastic. but unfortunately the blonde blue eyed millie sculpts still haunt most non-fashionista releases.... stereotypical barbie u dont know what u are.... its a shame they didnt reference the millie sculpt in the movie i woulda died LOL

but i always thought it was pretty wack that they made all these cool dolls and then relegated them to wear t shirt dresses for eternity. i like that the budget line is so diverse and i dont even mind the lack of articulation that much (although i do miss basic 9 point articulation where are my elbows and knees) but GOD those outfits. can be ROUGH. and WHY do they never put like half of the diverse dolls in other playsets WHY cant basketball barbie be bald WHEN will i get that prosthetic leg barbie as a fairy like youve put all this effort into all this diversity and then ur doing NOTHING with it mattel im begging u. im begging u. make a fantasy wheelchair barbie i know you can do it. i know you can do it

im not even talking about the movie anymore sorry im just complaining about barbie dolls even tho im not a huge barbie collector JFKDHJRKF i was just picky about toys as a child and i want kids nowadays to get cool dolls too. i think a kid deserves a nice thing to play with that looks like them or like their family or other people around them that also allows to imaginative play you know

okay. okay in the context of the movie its fine and makes sense but lemme tell u. being so deep in the current state of mattel hearing america ferrera's character suggest "ordinary barbie" made me fucking jump out of my seat and point at my laptop screen i almost said outloud "YOUUU" jgekfjfd it was her.... she did this.... jk jk its a sweet message in the movie but just so u know in mattel's mind "ordinary barbie" translates to overpriced cheaply made sack dress barbie. orz

wait back on topic back on topic its a nice movie, im glad it resonates with a lot of people. the plot was a little strange but i dont mind, the sets and outfits and everything was so good anyway, i loved that big huge chunky necklace as a touch, its some fashion brand symbol i dont remember sowwy but i like how huge it is LOL also the music was pretty great, i liked the needle drops and the music composed for the movie was fun too, what was i made for is fantastic but i knew that already its been a hit for a while now and i heard a vocal synth cover of it that sounded nice so i was already on board HJKDHJKFDS sometimes the. racial aspect of the movie was. jarring? they really only mention race like thrice (one of those times being the aforementioned awful smallpox joke) which. you know sometimes i get a little annoyed with a lot of contemporary movies and shows bringing up race just for little quips and jokes here and there while completely ignoring anything substantial about the topic, i know this is a tween movie with a two hour run time and they wanted to focus but i dunno man. it always feels like they're making a joke about elephants while the ignoring the elephant in the room staring u down. but whatever. i'll just lock someone into an unskippable cutscene conversation about history in regards to race and dolls irl later LOL cute movie tho. i like when movies have cool sets and outfits

NOW to the second half of that very odd double feature i gave myself last night UFO ABDUCTION its basically considered the first found footage horror movie, as a tv movie from 1989, and lemme tell u IT IS hard to watch LOL not because its like scary but like. because its a little bit bad <3 but its okay i dont mind, the main character behind the camera got pretty insufferable near the end (would not shut up and made it hard to hear the other actors orz) but it was only an hour and had like no budget - plus i love seeing where so much of the genre came from. im glad to know people screaming at the main character to shut that damn camera off has been here since the very beginning. i also loved the stupid alien costumes its such a shame theyre only in there for like 3 scenes they were the best part: genuinely kind of creepy at the first sight at the ufo landing because theyre so far away and low quality, and also really silly and goofy when they walk right up to the camera <3 <3 <3

i truly madly deeply genuinely without a shred of irony adore found footage so im always happy to see more! even when its bad :) i like it when cameras shake and people scream OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT

[omegasmileyface]

Don't kids have privilege though? Like up there with white or straight privilege

if you mean that kids can generally get away with more things than that is somewhat true, but unlike the groups you listed which are given purposeless advantages, kids have more leeway because they are less capable of understanding situations and theyre consequences. theyre still learning, and the expectation is that when they grow older and gain experience, that extra leeway will go away because they can be expected to have a better understanding of their actions

its like being a student! if youre in a driver's ed class and you speed a little or miss a stop sign, your instructor will go "hey, you missed that. please pay more attention next time, ok?" rather than getting a ticket like you would if you were a licensed driver, since driving is a very difficult activity requiring you to get a lot of practicebwith a lot of new inputs. yes, even in a driver's ed class a mistake like that COULD have dire consequences, but (a) there are signals in place for other drivers to understand that this driver isnt as practiced in the rules of the road as they are (in this scenario, its "student driver" markers. for kids, its recognizing what kids look like) and (b) we expect people with a driver's license to know the rules better because they were able to get that license, which requires testing. we expect adults to know the rules of life better because they made the decision for themself, typically, to interact with others. children dont get to make that decision for themselves, so it wasnt them saying "yes, im ready for this" like an adult or a licensed driver. not my best analogy, but...

really, it's less of a "privilege", which implies an unfair advantage that others in your situation aren't getting because of systemic inequality. it is more of... an adjustment? it's like... oh my god whats the word. i forgot the word but those changes that are made available to disabled people so they can experience situations equitably with abled people. those. the same way someone might be more lenient with a person with narcolepsy for not being able to make a prior appointment because they were less able than an abled person to predict their ability to get there, someone might be more lenient with a 13 year old for lashing out during a social event because they were less able than an adult to regulate their emotions and judge their options. and they are less able! their hormones are working differently than an adult's, their brain is working differently, they have less practice with existing in the outside world. theyre a student; theyre new.

and then, similarly, a narcoleptic person may not be able to get a driver's license (woo back to driver's licenses lets go) because the same thing that gave them more leniency earlier makes them less able to hold responsibility over controlling a car. its unfortunate, but thats why we accomodate (thats the word!!) people when they just cant hold the same responsibilities because differences in their bodies (and brains, which are part of bodies) make it so they cant do the necessary tasks reliably. we try to give them other options. similarly, a child's natural issues with emotional regulation and decision making, discussed above, would give them *less* leeway in something like holding a political position or owning a credit card.

its not like racism or sexism where people say "oh, [marginalized group] is uncapable of being responsible, so we wont let them have any positions of power! [group that we prefer] will be able to do whatever they want." we're talking actual, scientific "their frontal cortexes aren't functioning the same way we expect participants in the adult social world to", and then saying "so let's provide equity however we can"

and you know what! kids (and very much, disabled people too) dont get nearly enough say in their lives in our current society! theyre not the ones saying "im not responsible enough to drive", its other people (who dont trust them to be responsible enough to make that decision) saying it for them. and its ALSO not them saying "well, i cant be trusted to know how to act in social situations, so you have to be softer on me." Its adults making THAT choice too.

long story short, kids, while being the same species as adults, and while we never truly stop maturing and we cant put hard lines on when agency and accountability come in full force, they CANNOT be expected to have the same mental patterns as adults. an 8 year old DOES NOT have as much practice with life and expectation and consequence and the world outside them as a 16 year old, and the 16 year old doesnt have as much as a 24 year old, etc. our hard lines on accountability and agency coming at the age of 18 are arbitrary, but someone playing their third game of basketball can't be expected to have all the rules memorized, and someone reading a book for the third time can't be expected to know how to pronounce all the words, and a kid going to the grocery store for the third time can't be expected to know that you have to pay for something before taking it. children come into this world without any preparation or being asked, and the best they can do is be a kid. thesis here bc im too wordy: punishing them for not knowing how to be an adult doesnt help anyone involved, so we try not to. its not a privilege to account for someone's uncontrollable lack of preparation for existing in the world. yknow?

anyway all that said i think youre responding to the post that said "hating humans who havent been alive for as long as you on principle isnt a good habit", and i feel like even if kids DID have some unfair advantage in life compared to older kids (sorry. i mean adults.) that shouldnt be an excuse to hate them? theyre literally just adults that havent been at it as long and thus have less practice and more hornones lol

[earnestlyegos]

I'm fairly certain that I didn't send one of these back so I'll do that now

*does a little spin and pelts the qnappb at you*

What do you all of you look like in headspace?

-💛🎻

yyou didnt!! aand i giggled hard at the little spin you did— iill try not to type with the quirk, i understand iits frustrating for ssome!!

Yancy

yancy looks pretty much the same as he does jn source!! except hes usually in a plain white T, without the sleeve rolled up, and in some jeans! either that or a tank top!! he also choses to have his AHWM tattoos instead of his ISWM tatts, because its how most people know him!! though he still thinks its canonical that he has his ISWM ones!! hes 6’1 with a muscular (not much more than he is in source) build, but pretty much is the same!!

Eric

ii look the same as i do in source as wwell!! except, in source, you cant see my legs!! i often wear rolled up grey pants (i think theyre cargos?) that show off my prosthetics!! i do only have prosthetic feet, but in order for them to stay on, the shell reaches up to right below my knee!! theyre blackish silver, and in the headspace you can see my glasses a bit better!! im 5’3, making me tthe shortest adult around—

Mark

mark is as he is exactly in source!! he wears his uniform constantly (without the hat), and often has a clipboard or his device with him so he can check the ships status!! he has all his pins and things and whatnot too, though when we focus in the headspace, we cant really see the specifics!! hes 5’10, which is markipliers actual height, and the only other outfit he will sometimes wear is his spacedog onesies!!

Damien

hhe was shown in his intro, but ill describe him still!! hes a 5’7 man with soft brown hair that has buzzed sides and a back!! he has a bit of a prominent chin like the body, that has light scruff that ends slightly below his ears!! hes got big round glasses and a round nose, light blueish grey eyes, and has acne scars on his face and upper back!! hes got small gauges, or black studs in his ears, along with two helix rings on each ear!! he has a slightly muscular and boxy build, and often wears a grey shirt with the text “GAY” front and center! he wears dark grey jeans with black socks, and black and white converse!! he also has a few freckles on his arms, and you can often see him lounging in a hoodie of whatever color he wants!!

thank you for the question!! (co-written by damien)

[swagging-back-to]

serious talk sorry not putting in tags bc i think it'll be long

when i had such horrific body dysmorphia and self hatred i literally cannot describe it here or else I'll trigger like... everyone... i would see stuff like this and it would be devastating. like id be like wow ok so i am annoying. and then it would only make things worse.

id stop doing these things, yeah, but only because the thought of being obnoxious made me sick qnd I'd write out hundreds of rules in my journal about what to say and do and what not to say and do. like. it was really bad.

idek what changed it for me. i think it was being cheated on by some moid id forced myself to be with even tho 1. i hated him and 2. i am repulsed by males in every aspect of their existence and realizing at least im not as bad as him. really gave me a glowup moment for my confidence bc i just kept saying "wow im literally like amazing" and "im too good for this" for like, a week. when i stopped shitting on myself and condtantly focusing on things i thought were flaws i DID get better. when i stopped living like i was an actual cave goblin, i DID get better.

and now, as a confident person after multiple years of peeling away the onion layers, when i look back on my behavior as a (pre/)teen im like... yeah. that was hella fucking annoying. it was outrageously annoying and when i encounter people like that, even online, i get just so drained and honestly irritated. like. i one hundred percent understand what youre going through but also. idk. sometimes people really dont want to make the effort to change. i was that person, i wanted to get worse. i know dozens of people who are the same. and sometimes... it really is their own behavior and outlook causing the problem.

the more you joke about how shitty you are or how youre an asshole or how youre useless or whateverrrrrrrr the more youre gonna be upset. fact. the more you deprive yourself of things we know make life better, the more youre gonna be upset. this mostly goes out to people who could absolutely do these things but just choose not to.

like the adults bragging about not knowing how to cook and make actual food (and complaining about lack of money) who eat out all the time... even tho they have a full kitchen. or the people who vehemently choose to block out the sunlight. if you have migraines or other sensory issues i get it but like... you complaining about how depressed anxious tired and how bad your eyesight is while sitting in a pitch black room staring at a bright ass monitor 24 hours a day IS causing your problems.

and people dont like to hear that theyre the ones perpetuating the cycle so they get hella defensive but you really need to just try it. literally just try it. do the most that you can. open a window. drink a single glass of water. even one. dont eat nothing but actual garbage all day every day, your gut health is your mental health. do whatever the fuck else. but dont make zero effort. youre just gonna stay exactly where you are.

insecurity is boring. self deprecating jokes are annoying. saying nobody likes you is driving away people who like you. no one has the patience to perform nonstop emotional labor and they should not be expected to. choose to be less cringe <3

[bigmoneypastelhalloween]

2 hr 27: letter about post-soviet radio, questions about vorws origin and future

2 hr 27: 2014 is when he started the shortwave

2 hr 28: he got interested from listening to shortwave and noting how airtime was being sold

2 hr 29: "i cant really predict the future," interesting tone

2 hr 30: keep on truckin letter

2 hr 31: letter and response about taking the show digital only. Voice of says it wouldnt hold its appeal if it wasnt a radio show

2 hr 32: "its nice to know that even if im not trying to cause any trouble, i can talk about whatever i want" no tos no algorithms

2 hr 33: the local broadcast isnt going anywhere, that station is rock solid

2 hr 34: responding to a letter item about nonfoodreview videos doing well

2 hr 38: there will still be random videos but theyre not the bread&butter that review vids are

2 hr 38: letter about reviewing jollibee, there's no florida locations

2 hr 39: perennial radio buying questions

2 hr 42: perennial emergency radio rec for-in-case-shit

2 hr 44: the handcrank shortwave can charge phones in power outs, valuable info as always

2 hr 46: all radios mentioned are on his amazon affiliate page but he says buy them wherever, he's making pennies off sales thru his list

2 hr 47: panama beach city shout out!

2 hr 48: letter about spats

2 hr 49: treat yourself to spats if you like them he says

2 hr 50: responding to letter about hurricane stuff

2 hr 52: bay area radio station shutdown talk

2 hr 56: fastfood restaurant interior design email

2 hr 57: millennial nostalgia attack deals 50 damage

2 hr 58: j calls the new style the cubes or the corporate cubes and feels they epitomize soullessness. We all know mcdonalds was getting flak for marketing so heavily to kids. The new coffee cubes are adult community hubs, theyre functional. Its very soviet, in a way i kind of prefer. I guess behold the power of the contramarketer (putting this on morgan spurlock mainly). Whyd mcdonalds need character? Is that really onbrand? Yknow it started out as a window you got handed a bag of food out of and that was it. Where's the nostalgia for that, 80s kids and 90s kids? Oh you werent born wah wah wah john you werent alive when those suits were popular either. Bring back original style mcdonalds! And let the staff smoke weed at work if they want to ffs!

2 hr 59: more about glorious birthday-friendly mcdonalds. Go to a park, kids. Go bowling.

3 hr 1: glowing fanmail from texas

3 hr 5: things to do with your body after death

3 hr 7: "i myself have gotten more comfortable with my mortality, the last few years"

3 hr 9: no burial preferences

3 hr 10: a plant growing out of you is bringing new life to the world, which is cool. We've found something "cool"

3 hr 12: more perennial mail; soothing voice very grounding. J laughs a real laugh.

3 hr 13: letter brings up tosh.0

3 hr 17: replying about food review vampire vid

3 hr 19: we both like how flexible elvis is and how refreshing his reevaluation was.

3 hr 21: chanchan stats from 2016, "i had more energy back then"

3 hr 24: the cnn money segment was a bigger stat boost than the elvis vid by a lot

3 hr 25: checking 2017 stats to see if the second elvis video brought numbers

3 hr 30: growth is from algorithm midas wand, not commentary vids etc

3 hr 33: "i might be homeless or dead" without youtube/google

3 hr 34: letter about "would you do a rotw meal"

3 hr 36: surrealist tangent about what the rotw meal would be, punchline is running on empty

3 hr 37: old mic is dead

3 hr 41: what happened to livestreaming

3 hr 42: introvert moment

3 hr 43: the show must go on

3 hr 44: hurrican letter

3 hr 49: tornado talk

3 hr 51: "evil people" wish ill on random people because of the state they live in. That is an evil thing to do.

3 hr 56: he says be upstanding but be a realist about how other people arent

3 hr 57: he says try to keep the world safe, try to rid the world of evil

3 hr 57: he says be punitive about "evil people". i feel the ghost of a college chum laughing at me like its funny to see me be like whoa there rorschach when ive absolutely been this bit

3 hr 58: he says we can punish society better by degrees. The ghost says this is my praxis

3 hr 59: "with every location there are good people and bad people" (people struggle everywhere there is an imposition of material inequality). He's disgusted by the idea of callously saying to just let people twist in the wind.

4 hr 02: blue states get hurricaned too

4 hr 04: not how u say drivel

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[Part 1, part 2]

[mokutone]

sorry if this is random but i was just curious about your thoughts on sai? i know you have a lot of thoughts on yamato fhdjdlfn and his and yamato’s relationship always seemed so interesting and really underdeveloped :[ theyre both really similar but yamato was able to get out of ROOT before sai was, and i was just wondering if you had any thoughts on that/him to share. sorry if this is weird or out of the blue djshfkfj love your art!!

that's not weird at all!!! actually the day u sent this question in i had finalized the thumbnails (and started on the pencils!) for a comic wherein Yamato comments on how Sai is handling his transition out of ROOT differently than Yamato himself did! I don't want to lay all my thoughts on that out here, because I think i'm much more clumsy with textposts than with comics, but I appreciate the question and I will share some thoughts!

under a readmore tho bc. this got Long...comics force me to be concise but w/ a keyboard under my hands i just chatter

here's something I've been thinking abt! I think they had fundamentally different experiences in ROOT, and this is reflected in their attitudes towards Danzō, as well as the way they interact with the people outside of ROOT.

Sai seems to have no real loyalty to Danzō. He does what Danzō says because Danzō gives him his orders, when he practices his fake smile in front of Danzō, Danzō immediately tells him to cut that shit out. I don't think there's a lot of love lost there—when team Kakashi catches up to him in orochimaru's hideout, and they kind of confront him, and. also kind of. "give him the option" of abandoning his mission (and ROOT along with it) or. you know. facing shinobi consequences. he doesn't really seem to think much of it? honestly. i imagine he was probably a little more relieved than anything else. Add to that him remembering how he wanted to finish the drawing of his brother—

actually wait hang on thats another point I want to talk about. Sai was pitted against the person he was closest to in order to traumatize him into numbness! wack! I think that's kind of at the root (help.) of why I see him as a fundamentally angrier character than I see Yamato—and why I interpret some of his behavior not just as Not Knowing How People Work (although he does have trouble with this! it's a very different vibe. like. him trying to comfort Naruto and Naruto thinking Sai was coming onto him was an entirely different kind of situation) but as like. intentionally inflammatory sometimes...like. he's insulted the bodies of most of the people around him in one way or another, he knows it pisses them off, he does keep doing it. I think him Causing Problems On Purpose is sometimes just a way for him to try and experience catharsis for a fury he doesn't really know he's repressing. Like. idk. it's one thing to be forced to hurt yourself, that's deeply upsetting, disembodying, traumatizing, but it's another to be forced into a situation where you're to hurt somebody you love (regardless of the outcome) like. idk. its a kind of powerlessness that hits different at least ime, and frustration and resentment are extremely normal reactions to a situation like that. i think. a number of things could be appealing to him abt trying to get others to get angry at him—whether it's Him being the one to Cause another persons anger (which could confer a kind of. feeling of control) or him seeing himself reflected in their anger (like a "boy howdy i recognize this emotion. it's very clear. very understandable") or even seeing how they handle the anger. kishimoto definitely doesn't care nearly as much about Sai's anger. but i found the implication of it compelling as a kid, and I find it more compelling as an adult! anger can be an incredibly healing and protective force sometimes when dealing w/ trauma...and I wish kishimoto knew what he was writing about or that we got to see it explored more!!! ack!

yamato (as kinoe) had a wildly different experience when he was in ROOT.

we know he knew how to fight against sharingan, which. I think implies he was training in combat with Danzō, or that he worked closely with Danzō, or at the very least that Danzō used his sharingan on him. We also saw that (unlike Sai, who was rebuked for even fake-smiling) that Kinoe (at first) was not told to feel nothing, but instead instructed on how to feel by Danzō specifically. Like, mostly telling him to Feel Grateful etc, but I think him being told to experience specific feelings according to what Danzō thought was appropriate would lead to a different relationship with his emotions than Sai, who was told explicitly to repress them all at all times, and to not even attempt to preform them.

He also like. Thought. Highly. of Danzō, not just as a leader but as a person...it's kind of undeniable that Kinoe saw him as right, was willing to brand his own feelings and intuition wrong if it crossed Danzō's, openly sought Danzō's approval, when he fails his mission to secure Kakashi's eye, his reaction is. essentially immediately to return himself to Danzō to face whatever new dehumanization Danzō's got for him— even when Kakashi and Hiruzen drag him out of there he thanks Danzō for everything, and he seems genuine about it, despite. everything. He's more expressive than Sai for sure, He had like. a moment of anger, when he said that he wanted to be Tenzō, and Danzō denied him that basic self identification...but it's quickly squashed. Messy. Messy. I think. I think he has a little more trouble getting in touch w/ his anger than Sai bc of his emotional closeness to Danzō.

i think. because yamato knows that he was something more like Danzō's favorite, and that conveyed a vastly different experience than Sai's, he might feel a little complicated about being like "So...ROOT trauma, huh? Hell of a thing!" but. i also like to think that he's very quietly kind of trying to observe and support in a way which mostly allows Sai to figure himself out—I think when they are older they would probably talk about it more (also because then their tongue-seals will have finally disappeared. Thanks sasuke!), once Sai has close friends in the village and everything

Just a lot of like. "I have friendships down. I have teammates down, easily—but what am I to the old woman I buy my cabbages from. What degree of friendliness do I exhibit to her."

"I think...whatever you're comfortable with is fine. I know neither of us had particularly normal upbringings, but you don't have to execute every interaction perfectly for people to care about and respect you."

anyway god this is so long and soooo based in my own personal HCs. I hope there was something in here that was interesting to you!

[hysokaz]

i cant HATE hanzo because i dont think that he meant to do what he did but his whole fight with gon was just a HORRIBLE lesson to gon. he 1000% internalised everything that happened theres just no way that he didnt. being told over and over again that he cant win, that he needs to give up, and having countless adults just stand around and not say or do anything. like i know i know its part of the exam it HAS to test his mental skill but its fucking cruel the only person helping him or showing that they care is leorio, killua, and kurapika. everyone else is literally turning their heads from him. hes getting told that theres no way he could win as hes fucking bleeding and all of his senses are fucked up. he cant see, he cant hear out of one ear, he cant get up, he has a broken arm, his nose just got busted and he still tries to fight, he doesnt give up, and he tells leorio that hes fine. its nothing he cant handle.

hes screaming out in pain and no one is doing anything. they might stare in shock or they might show that they litearlly cant stand to watch gon but gon litearlly cant SEE. gon is stubborn to all hell and he wont give up.

the fight does a couple of things.

by eventually winning, it teaches him that he can keep going. he can have absolutely no strength in his body and he still will force himself to try and recover and try to fight. i could see gon exhausting himself to death because of this mindset. he will force himself over and over and he refuses to give up no matter what and he will only ever use his own strength and try to win. he goes through the thought that hanzo wouldnt cut off his legs because that would make him bleed out-- he doesnt think about how horrific it would be to have his legs cut off, its not like he doesnt take it seriously, but he doesnt take his own life seriously. he doesnt CARE. he would rather die than not be a hunter.

people praise him when he does well in the fight, and that teaches him that all he has to do is keep going. all he has to do is do good and he will be fine. all he has to do is keep getting back up and people will love him and he'll be admired. and all of this because of his dad, because he wants to find his dad, and i think the fight also teaches him that his father would eventually praise him for all of his efforts.

by hanzo still being nice, and not actually wanting to kill gon, pleading with him over and over again that hes not going to quit, that gon is going to die if he continues... and then hanzo pussing out and not doing it like that plants the idea in his head that the "bad guys" or the people that he has to fight ARENT that bad, i believe. this ones a hunch. i think that this will put it in gons head that eventually he will come out on top because his opponents cant be the worst people inside of their hearts, that they wouldnt kill him. you can bring up that gon refuses to take an easy win, that gon NEEDS to have a fair fight, but that doesnt really change anything. subconsciously, i think gon has a bit of an overconfidence that he cannot die. hisoka didnt kill him, hanzo didnt kill him, genthru didnt kill him, whatever and whoever didnt kill him. he wont die. i think that if gon ever accepted that he COULD die, like truly let it set in, then he would lose part of himself. i think gon refuses to truly have it in his head that he COULD die because i think that would admit defeat. i know that gon knows he can die, but his mortality and his own life is not serious to him because thats not a concern to him. his concern is his father and his friends.

by his friends being the only ones to outwardly show support, by being the ones who would scream out and tell him to quit, by him hearing them and knowing in his heart theyre barely holding themselves back to save him, their bond grows. i dont want to say thats unfortunate... but its kind of unfortunate. i dont want their bond and friendship to grow over feelings of pain and anguish, but thats what happens. he hears their cries and i know he internalises it as strength for him to keep going. the desperation that his friend show him only makes him be committed to them more. gon doesnt need verbal support, he barely needs people to tell him they like him. after all killua is his closest friend not because killua says nice things to gon and tells him sweet things or anything like that-- he and killua are best friends because of their actions. killua is committed to gon. gon knows that. he trusts killua because of that. gon sees the things his friends do for him, and it makes him want to match those exact things as well.

hanzos age is also a small thing, but a big thing at the same time. hanzo does mention his age to gon as a side note, but gon brings it up as a main point. he talks about how hanzo is only six years older than him. he doesnt keep going with that point, but i think his brain does do something with it. gon ends up putting that as motivation, i know he wants to match hanzos strength. he probably wants to be better than hanzo, stronger and more skilled. if gon got to hanzos age and was weaker than him i think he would hate himself for it. gon has unreasonably high expectations of himself, and age matters to him in the way that he needs to be stronger than everyone else. yes, to make his father proud and to thank him, but i know its also so he can protect his friends and family as well.

even what killua eventually eventually does, just that small thing of drawing hanzos face on the ground and saying that gon is nowhere near his strength... thats just basically forcing gon to compare himself to hanzo (something i know killua didnt mean as a bad thing). hanzo isnt the biggest threat that gon has ever had to deal with; i dont think that he has made THE absolute most impact, but i HAVE to think about it in this sense: gons spirit is...strong. but hisoka wounds it when he gives him an "easy win" and passes gon his badge. this makes gon deal with a bunch of self worth issues for a few days straight... and then hanzo goes and does all of that to him. had it been separate from everything that hisoka did i think that it mightve not hurt as much, but all of the stress i know went to his head. the end of the hunter exams were some of the most impactful yet painful events for gon, at least thats what seems to show once you looka t the behaviour that follows. i cant hate hanzo because i know he didnt mean to make gon develop the way he did. but i think hanzos fight did horrible damage to the way gon thinks.

[queenmylovely]

Gwil time 3 (more smut): reader and gwil are trying for a baby but theyre crashing at a friends place overnight when shes ovulating so have to be sneaky about it 🤭🤭

Obvs this is out of order for the asks I have received, but ideas popped into my head immediately upon reading this so I had to work on it first. Warnings are talk of trying to get pregnant and smut, 1.7k words

Masterlist 

☆☆☆

After an evening of wine, chatting, and a couple board games, you and Gwil were crashing in the spare bedroom of your friends, Marica and Cory, place. This was because you were going to a mutual friends’ wedding the next day and they lived in the same city, Birmingham. It was around 11:00pm when you were climbing into bed, having done your nightly routine and hung up your things for the next day.

Gwil was grabbing his phone from the pocket of his jacket, where he had left it in an attempt to be more present, something he had decided he should be working on. You watched him check a couple messages and respond before his face pulled into a grimace.

Frowning, you asked, “What’s up?”

He bit his lip and looked at you hesitantly, “Um, I guess I missed the notification because my phone’s been in my jacket, but you’re ovulating.”

You threw your head back in exasperation, “Gwil! You said you were going to keep track of that, this is not an ideal place to be having this issue.”

A few months ago, you and Gwil had started trying for a baby, and had decided that Gwil would be the one to track your ovulation and everything because he was much more organized and tech savvy than you were.

“I know, darling, I’m sorry. But, even if I had known a couple hours ago, what would we have done? Gone to a pay by the hour hotel in the middle of hanging out with Marica and Cory?” Gwil reasoned, trying to get himself out of trouble.

Sighing softly, you nodded, “S’pose not, but I’d greatly prefer not having them know we’re having sex just down the hall.”

“I agree,” Gwil nodded, finally climbing in next to you, facing you, and sliding a hand to rest on your thigh, a little higher than just an innocent touch.

You smiled, then thought for a second, “Maybe you should just get off, I’m so much louder that if it was only you, they probably wouldn’t be able to hear.”

Gwil frowned deeply at that, “I do not want to just use you to get off.”

“Well, it’s something that I want too, and it’s for a larger purpose,” you tried to persuade him. Then with a cheeky smile, “Plus the thought of you using me is kinda really hot.”

At that, Gwil paused, looking at you and the way you were looking at him, and you felt his fingers tighten slightly on your thigh. Then he shook his head, “No, stop that. You know that it works better if you get off too.”

You scrunched up your face, “Fine, you’re right, but when Marica and Cory complain that we kept them up, you have to take all the blame.”

Gwil leaned in close to you, holding your face in place, “Will do.”

***

Then he kissed you, soft. No matter the situation, Gwil always kissed you softly. At first. Faster than you were anticipating, he started to kiss you deeper, with more urgency that made a fire light in your lower stomach and blurred your thoughts at the edges. He slipped the hand on your face into your hair, pulling just enough to really feel it, but not too much to hurt. The other moved further up the inside of your thigh, his long fingers starting to trail up and down over your clothed slit.

You whimpered, reaching for the hem of Gwil’s shirt, knowing that the sooner you got the both of you undressed, the sooner you would get his hands where you really wanted them. Gwil let you take it off for him, and then did the same for you, smoothing his hands up your sides and squeezing your breasts lightly and running his thumbs over your nipples in a way that made your breath hitch and had you rushing forward to kiss him.

Gwil was able to get your pants and underwear off without breaking the kiss, but he pulled back to slip his thumb into your mouth. Wrapping your lips around it, you laved it with your tongue, making sure it was wet like he wanted. Then he pulled his thumb from your mouth and replaced it with his lips, reaching down between your thighs to press his thumb against your clit.

Inhaling sharply, you dropped one of your hands that had been on his shoulders to his wrist, holding it tightly in place. He kept going, and as he moved his lips along your jaw and down to your pulse point, you moaned unabashedly and Gwil stopped his ministrations temporarily. You almost whined, but realized why Gwil had stopped and felt your cheeks heat up.

“Careful, darling. You know I love to hear you, but I can’t say the same for our friends,” Gwil warned with a sweet smile.

“I know. I’ll t-try,” your words caught when Gwil started rubbing your clit slowly again. “Maybe you should fuck me, fuck, from behind so I can keep my head in the pillows.”

Gwil grinned and you shivered because of the look in his eye, “That can be arranged.”

He then flipped you over, and it was all you could do not to squeal in surprise and delight, muffling your laugh with your hand. You were flat on your stomach, but Gwil pulled you so your knees were bent and your ass was in the air. The smooth pillowcase made it hard to grab a pillow for a second, but you got a hold of one and positioned it so you could rest your forearms and your face on it, hoping it would do a good enough job of muffling you. Gwil’s pajama bottoms and briefs hit the floor with a small thud and you felt your heart rate speed up in anticipation.  

You felt Gwil get settled behind you and shook your ass back towards him playfully. Hearing his laugh, next you felt a small sting as he spanked you lightly (not as hard as you both usually liked it, but that was a sacrifice made because of the sound).

Unable to see anything he was doing, you imagined that he was taking a bit of time to jerk himself until he was fully hard. You could feel his opposite hand splayed on your ass, pushing you slightly forward. Then you were totally surprised when you felt warm liquid falling onto your pussy, dripping down to your clit and probably the sheets too. The realization that it was Gwil’s spit made you moan and shift your hips backward, hoping to speed along the process.

Gwil smirked to himself, knowing what you wanted without you saying a thing. He was also happy to know that the pillow was doing a good job of muffling you. Positioning his cock, he swiped it down and up your folds once before slowly entering you, still relishing the feeling of fucking you raw, even months into trying to get pregnant.

Once he bottomed out, he paused long enough for you to shift yourself forward, trying to fuck yourself on his cock with a frustrated groan. Gwil let you get as far forward as you could, about halfway off his dick before he used his hands on your hips to drive yours back into his own. The feeling took your breath away, and you immediately wanted him to do it again.

Nodding frantically, you leaned forward again, and soon the two of you had developed a rhythm that had you whining into the pillow as the pleasure built and built. Gwil was having a hard time keeping quiet as well, one of his hands covering his mouth as he moaned deeply each time your bodies were flush.

As you kept going, you got faster and faster until it was like every breath was being pushed out of you by the thrusts. As far as you could tell, the bed was only creaking when Gwil adjusted how he was kneeling, which kind of sucked because each time he moved even a fraction of an inch, it sent a brand new bolt of pleasure through you.

Gwil shifted his weight and then felt you clench around him, swearing behind his hand at the feeling. Slowing just a little, he dropped his hand and tapped your hip, “How close are you? Numbers.”

You lifted your head to let him know, “7 out of 10, feels so good Gwil.”

“Fuck okay, I’m at an 8, need you to rub your clit for me, okay darling?” he asked and you nodded, shakily shifting one hand underneath your body and he restarted his pace from before.

After only a minute of rubbing tight circles on your clit, you got to the edge faster than you could tell Gwil, but he could tell from the way your pussy was fluttering around his cock and kept doing exactly what he was doing, knowing that was the best way to get you there.

Seconds later, you came, shuddering as your pleasure rippled through you and keening into the pillow even as the feeling took your breath away. Even through all of that, you kept in time with Gwil, wanting him to finish even more than you had wanted to yourself.

As your orgasm started to fade, you raised yourself on your arms and turned back to look at Gwil, saying softly but wantonly, “C’mon Gwil, come for me. Fill me up with your cum, I want it.”

Gwil’s eyes went wide as he came, moans mostly muffled by the hand that was back over his mouth, but you loved watching him come undone and hearing whatever slipped through the cracks. As his orgasm subsided, he pulled out slowly, both of you exhaling deeply as he did.

“Hand me a pillow,” he said quietly, and when you did, he helped you turn onto your back, placing the pillow under your butt to keep your hips lifted.

Then he joined you laying down on the bed, an arm slung across your waist as his head rested next to yours. You turned to face him and kissed him, keeping it soft again.

“Do you think it worked?” you mumbled, sleepily excited.

“I think we should give it a little more than 30 seconds to decide whether or not it did,” Gwil pointed out and you fondly rolled your eyes.

“Always so rational,” you teased before bringing your lips to his again.

★★★

tagging for the length: @riseetothesun @drowseoftaylor @caborhapch @queenlover05 @johndeaconshands @stardust-galaxies @theblossomknows  @buckyluvrs @im-an-adult-ish @sleep-i-ness (unable to tag italics)

[restingdomface]

Modern au where Wei Wuxian has a sweet little white rabbit who’s always super excited when he gets back from classes and puts his wittle paws up on WWX’s knee and wriggles his nose to scold him for being away so long and he sleeps in WWX’s arms every night and loves his human with all his heart- but. He’s a lonely lil snowball of a fluffer and WWX feels bad that he has to be alone all day while he’s in class, so he takes his baby down to the pet store, to see if they could find an animal (doesn’t have to be a bunny, they don’t always get along anyways) that can become a good little companion for his fussy grooming bun bun, and finds!!! Lan Wangji! A classmate who’s in a similar track to WWX and always looks so perfect and pristine and composed and WWX once caught him holding a baby (a lil cousin) and charming it to pieces with his stoic beauty and tummy tickles, and WWX is NOT in love with him, he just thinks the man could wreck him both physically and emotionally and WWX would thank him- anyways. Off track here.

LWJ!!! Turns out to be there. For the exact same reason as him. He’s got a hyperactive little bitch of a fluffer on a leash (Snowball doesn’t usually stay on his leash, since he refuses to let WWX out of his sight if he’s around, but WWX is starting to realize that this situation is sort of ‘dog in the water’ akin, and his baby boy should really be on a leash too, so he gets one while theyre there) and looking for a good companion for Inkblot, who likes to eat chili peppers, and sleeps on LWJ’s head, whether LWJ wants him up there or not. WWX is charmed by this angery lil thumper and joins LWJ in his search so they could both find a companion to take home.

The only issue is. Snowball and Inkblot. Seem to have decided. Their perfect companion. Is each other. Shit. Shit. Shit. We can’t just take home each other’s pets. Fuck. But now they’re refusing any and all other pets. Inkblot, who had previously been cowering from a teacup poodle (WWX doesn’t blame him, the puppy gave a bark and he got a frighten and WWX might have hidden behind LWJ’s back a little because the animals are Okay™️ if they don’t jump or bite or bark and he’s even given Jiang Cheng’s old lab a pet or two when he’s seen him but a few times he’s heard a bark from the big dog and suddenly he’s halfway up a tree and that one time the oversized bear of a neighbor’s dog was off his leash and the owner SAID he was just trying to get WWX to love him but WWX was crying and Jiang Yanli had to take a day off work and bring him to her house and WWX didn’t even freak out at that stupid peacock seeing him cry for once cause Jon Zixuan had been shockingly nice to his traumatized brother-in-law, plying him with cookies and spiked tea until WWX was finally calm. No no. WWX doesn’t blame the bunny for running from the poodle. Those things can turn so fast) is now all but refusing to even look at the kittens he’d previously been sniffing at, making pleased little nose wriggles and chewing sounds while Snowball grooms that mess that we call fur into a sort of almost normal looking bunny.

Anyways. So. Shit. We can’t just. Maybe we can... share custody? No no, Snowball would throw a fit (biting included) if he had to be separated from WWX for a full night, and Inkblot would probably get mad and make the biggest mess he could.

So. It starts off with play dates. See. This doesn’t really solve the issue of them being alone while the boys are in class, but play dates are a good way to start, instead of just throwing your fur baby into a new environment without any warning. So, WWX will bring little master Snowball over to Lan Wangji’s swanky apartment (listen, WWX has a whole room for his cranky baby’s toys and items but LWJ seems to have dedicated a pretty epic portion of his massive apartment to an appropriate rabbit run for his spoiled child, and Snowball seems a little jealous lol) and will watch their boys interact. It mostly involves grooming and playing and that one super awkward time when the boys decided they were grown up enough for Adult Fun Times and ruined both LWJ and WWX’s delicate sensibilities (catch me in the back rootin for 25+ year old virgins WangXian cause fuck that whole ‘no modern WangXian is gonna be virgins’ bullshit scenario okay even modern people can wait for sex wow) and then, when they’re sure the boys can handle being around each other for hours without fights, and also after LWJ has set up like five nanny cams to the apartment that’ll stream straight to their phones so they can watch their babies during the day, they start leaving their kiddos alone so they can go to class with a peace of mind knowing their boys aren’t lonely.

Which helps. A lot. Until one day. They’re sitting in the same class. Getting ready for class to start (I see a lot of Music Students WangXian, but what if they’re both medical area students? I want scientist WWX who works with dead bodies and pediatric doctor LWJ who loves babies, even the ones with sticky fingers) and WWX is just cooing at his phone. ‘Such a good boy you are, eating those greens, awww, you’re good for Diedie, huh sweetheart, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, look at them, arent they adorable? Look at his puffy fur. Do you think Snowball will ever realize his fur isn’t gonna lay flat?’ ‘I once got his fur to lay flat. While it was wet. It only lasted a moment.’ And they’re cooing over how cute their boys are.

And the students. Around them. Are all ‘oh shit you two are together and have bunnies?????’ So. That started the rumor that they’re all but married. Maybe even are married.

And it takes them. Months. Of people asking about their boys. Of people talking about them like they’re old friends or whatever. Of Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng starting rumors that they’ve been together for years and just didn’t wanna advertize. For them to realize. That people think they’re together.

Well. They realize. About two days late. Because they don’t realize till the lease on WWX’s apartment is up and LWJ offers for WWX to move in with him and he’s all moved in and settled and their boys are delighted to be together all the time (it’s still gonna be a few months before the boys convince their humans to sleep in the same bed so they can all cuddle all night long cause safer in packs, but for now, they’ve made their humans fall asleep together on the couch a few times) and. They mention. How annoying it is to move apartments. And someone mentions how rewarding it is to finally live with your BF tho. And that’s when it hits them.

Anyways. This is the story of how Snowball and Inkblot went down to the petshop to get their humans a companion.