#i know the shading is weird and doesn't make sense but i was just playing around with stuff

[princessiicake]

happy flora friday! C:

[joelmillerisapunk]

Divide my legs like a mathematician

Dbf!Joel x virgin!reader

Masterlist

Wordcount: 4K

Summary: you find yourself drawn to Joel's confidence and charm, unable to resist the forbidden fruit. After sharing an intimate moment by the pool, you're left feeling both guilty and exhilarated, eager for more.

Warnings: 18+, virginity loss, reader has first kiss, age gap (reader is early 20's and Joel is however old you need him to be.) Reader has hair and breasts, and wears a bikini, unprotected p in v, m&f oral receiving, fingering, Joel comes twice. Joel, being a typical middle-aged man, saying "you know.."

Notes: please do not read if this kind of dynamic or situation is offputting or something you do not like or enjoy or object to. Please be responsible for yourself and your fic reading. Love you bye 💝 and don't ask about the title unless you wanna hear and see something weird 😂

The sun beats down relentlessly, its fiery rays reflecting off the shimmering surface of the pool. You've sought refuge by its side, lying on a vibrant, floral towel, your swimsuit clinging to your skin. Your eyes flutter closed, and you breathe in the scent of chlorine and sunscreen, letting the warmth of the day lull you into a state of peaceful relaxation.

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a shadow eclipsing the sun. You squint up, the brightness giving way to the familiar face of Joel Miller, your dad's old buddy. The one you haven't seen in a few years.

His salt-and-pepper hair, flecked with silver, is styled in a casual yet purposeful way. His muscular build is evident through his t-shirt and swim trunks. Joel's eyes, a stunning shade of chocolate brown, crinkle at the corners as he turns his attention to you, a smirk playing on his lips. "Well, well, well, who do we have here?" he asks, his gaze sweeping over your body in a way that makes you feel a bit nervous.

You shield your eyes from the sun with your hand before you reply, "Hey Joel, my dad's not here. He had to run some errands."

Joel chuckles, a small smile playing on his lips. "Well, good thing you're here to keep me company while I wait for him.”

You roll your eyes, but you can't help the heat that rises to your face. "I'm not here to entertain you," you say, trying to sound stern.

Joel chuckles, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "You know you've sure grown up since I last saw ya, more beautiful than ever."

You can't help but feel a little flattered by his words, even if you try to hide it. You've always had a bit of a crush on Joel, but you know that he's off-limits, the forbidden fruit. He's your dad's friend, and he's much older than you. You've never even had a boyfriend, but there's something about him that you find irresistible. Maybe it's his confidence, or his sense of humor, or the way he makes you feel when he looks at you. Whatever it is, you can't help but be drawn to him.

You try to play it cool. "Oh, please, you're just saying that because you feel awkward being alone with me and you're trying to be nice."

"Maybe, maybe not," he admits. "But that doesn't change the fact that you're beautiful."

You feel your heart flutter at the way the word rolls off his tongue, but you try to hide your reaction. "Prove it," you say, challenging him.

Joel raises an eyebrow, chuckling. "Prove it?" he repeats. "How do you propose I do that?"

You shrug, trying to act nonchalant. "I dunno, race me to the other side of the pool, maybe?"

Joel's laughter rings out, his eyes gleaming with a hint of mischief as he accepts the challenge. "You're on.” With a swift and fluid motion, he peels off his shirt, revealing his muscular chest and arms. The garment lands carelessly on a nearby chair, but you barely notice as your gaze follows the contours of his physique. You notice how broad he is and how beautiful in return you think he is.

Joel dives into the pool, cutting through the water with surprising grace and agility. The splash startles you, breaking your reverie, and you take a deep breath diving into the pool swimming as fast as you can towards the other side of the pool.

The cool water feels refreshing against your skin, but you're determined to win the race. You swim with all your might, your legs kicking furiously behind you. But despite your best efforts, Joel reaches the other side just before you do.

You come up for air, panting slightly, and Joel grins at you. "I win."

You stick your tongue out at him. "Fine, you win," you concede. "But that doesn't mean you're right about me being beautiful."

Joel's expression softens, and he looks at you with a seriousness that takes you by surprise. "You know darlin, I'm not just sayin' it to flatter you," he says as he gets out of the pool and then helps you out. "I've always thought you were beautiful. But now, you're all grown up, and I can't help but notice the way you move, the way you challenge me, it's all so - intoxicating."

His words make you feel self-conscious, but also excited. You've never had anyone talk to you like this before, and it's both scary and thrilling.

Joel notices your reaction and takes a step closer to you. "I know this is unexpected, and maybe even a little inappropriate," he says. "But, I can't help the way I feel. And I think you feel it too, don'tcha darlin?”

"I-I don't know," you stammer.

Joel's expression softens, and he reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face. "It's okay, take your time. I'm not goin’ anywhere." You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. You've never felt this way before, and you're not sure what to do. "It's okay," he repeats. "I know it’s a lot to take in.” Joel moves so his body mere inches away from yours. "You ever done anythin' before, you got a boyfriend?”

You pause, feeling the air get tense. You can't believe how abrupt he is to just ask like this. You shake your head, feeling a bit ashamed you've never even kissed a boy before, let alone have a boyfriend.

Joel can see the uncertainty in your eyes, but he also sees curiosity and desire. He takes a deep breath, and his eyes never leave yours. "You know, I can teach you how to please a man, how to be pleasured. I wanna make sure that when you do decide to be with someone, you're not so inexperienced."

Your eyes flitter around, never fully meeting Joel's gaze. "I dunno I've never done anything like this before," you admit.

Joel's expression softens, and he reaches out to gently take your hand. "I know babygirl," he says. "And I'm not going to push you into anything. But I want you to know that I'm here for you, if you want me to be."

You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. You know that what Joel is suggesting is wrong, but you can't help feeling like a snake, trying to convince yourself to take a bite of the juiciest looking apple you’ve ever seen. He's always been so helpful, and now that he's offering to show you the ways of intimacy, you can't help but be tempted. You really don't want to be so inexperienced when it's your real first time. "I want you to teach me Joel," you whisper.

Joel's face lights up, "I promise to make this a learning experience for you, somethin’ you'll never forget."

He takes your hand and leads you to a secluded spot by the pool, sits down on the grass, and pulls you down next to him. "First things first, let's start with the basics. You ever touch yourself?"

You shake your head, feeling yourself fill with embarrassment.

"S'okay," he says. "This is all new to you. Just do what I do, okay?"

He takes your hand and guides it to your bottoms, helping you to slip your fingers under the fabric. You can feel the heat radiating from your core, and you gasp as Joel's and your fingers brush against your clit.

"Just relax," he says, his voice soothing. "S’all about pleasure."

As you continue to touch yourself, you can feel something building inside of you. It's a strange, unfamiliar sensation, but it's also incredibly pleasurable. You moan softly as Joel continues to guide your hand, his lips close to your ear.

"That's it," he murmurs, his lips close to your ear. "Just relax and enjoy the sensation." You can feel the heat radiating from your core, and you can feel your body tensing as you get closer and closer to your first orgasm. Joel can sense this too, and he places a hand on your belly, feeling each jolt and tremor as it passes through you.

"Just let go, baby," he whispers. "I've got you. You're safe."

But suddenly, you pull your hand away, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps.

"I can't," you say, your voice shaking. "It feels too weird."

Joel can see the look of fear and uncertainty in your eyes, and he pulls you against his chest.

"Yes, you can, I promise," he says, his voice soothing and reassuring. "Just let yourself feel the pleasure. Let me help you, baby. Tell me what you're feeling, baby," he says, his voice gentle and coaxing. "What does it feel like when I touch you like this?" He starts rubbing circles on your clit again.

You take a deep breath, trying to put your feelings into words. "It feels...good," you say, your voice hesitant. "But it's also scary. I've never done this before."

"I know, baby," Joel coos. "But there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm here with you, and I'll never let anything bad happen to you."

Joel can see that you need a different approach, something that will help you to relax and let go of your inhibitions.

He pulls away from you, his eyes meeting yours. "Let's try something a little different," he says with a gentle voice. Before you can protest, Joel is moving down your body, his lips pressing gentle kisses against your skin. When he reaches your thighs he gently guides them further apart, leaving kisses all the way until he reaches your swimsuit bottoms, he pulls them to the side, exposing your clit. You gasp as you feel his tongue flick against your clit, the sensation almost too much to bear.

"Just relax," Joel murmurs, his voice soothing. "Let me show you how good this can feel."

He continues to lick and suck at your clit, his fingers slipping inside of you to stroke your G-spot. You can feel pleasure building inside of you, more intense than anything you've ever felt before.

"Yes, just like that," Joel murmurs, his voice low and husky. "Let go, babygirl. Let yourself feel it."

And suddenly, you do. The orgasm crashes over you like a wave, so intense that you can barely breathe. You cry out whatever vowels and constants your brain can, and your body shakes with the force of it. Joel doesn't stop, his tongue and fingers continuing to work their magic. Another orgasm builds inside of you, even more intense than the first. You can feel yourself on the edge, your body trembling with pleasure.

"Come on, babygirl, come again, such a good girl."

And you do. This orgasm tears through you like a lightning bolt, so intense that you see stars behind your closed eyes.

Finally, the orgasm subsides, and you collapse back onto the grass, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. Joel moves beside you, his arms wrapped around you as he holds you close to his body.

"How do you feel?" he murmurs, his lips close to your ear.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. "I feel...amazing," you say, quietly.

Joel smiles, his eyes meeting yours. "I'm glad," he says. "That's exactly how I wanted you to feel." Joel's expression is gentle as he looks at you, gauging your reaction. He then reaches down and slowly starts to undo the drawstring of his swim trunks. "You ever seen a cock before?"

You shake your head, feeling a mix of curiosity and nervousness. Joel seems to sense your apprehension, and he takes his time as he pulls down his swim trunks, revealing his erect length. Your eyes widen as you take in the sight before you, the way the sunlight dances off his smooth, taut skin, the way the veins protrude just slightly, creating a roadmap. Your gaze drifts down to the base, where the same salt and peppered hair that graces his head dusts his pelvis. Joel gives you a moment to take it all in before speaking again, his voice barely above a whisper, "Do you wanna touch it?" The question hangs in the air.

You nod, feeling a surge of excitement and curiosity. Joel's hand finds yours, guiding it towards his stiffening cock. You can feel the heat radiating off of him. As you wrap your fingers around his shaft, you marvel at the weight and firmness of it in your hand.

"Mmm, that feels so good," Joel moans, his eyes fluttering closed as he relaxes into your touch.

Encouraged by his reaction, you begin to explore his cock more fully. You stroke your hand up and down its length, feeling it twitch and throb beneath your fingertips. Joel helps guide your movements, his hand covering yours as he shows you the rhythm he likes best.

"Tighten your grip a little... yeah, just like that," he murmurs, his breath hitching as you increase the pressure. Joel's moans become louder and more frequent, and you can feel him grow even harder in your hand. It takes no time at all for Joel to reach his peak.

"Fuck baby, I'm gonna come," Joel gasps, his hips thrusting forward.

You pull your hand away, unsure of what to do. Joel opens his eyes and looks at you. You look like a deer in headlights, and the sight almost makes him come without help. "It's okay, baby," he says with a gentle voice. "You don't have to do anything. Just wanted to give you an idea of what it feels like, what it looks like, what it tastes like," he says softly, "But, if you're curious, I can show you how to pleasure a man with your mouth."

You nod, your curiosity getting the better of you. "I want to, I wanna learn."

Joel smiles, his eyes softening. "Okay, just remember to take it slow. There's no rush."

Joel takes your hand and guides it down to his cock, which is already rock-hard and pulsing with desire. You can feel the heat radiating off of him, and you're eager to explore him further. With a gentle nudge, he encourages you to take him into your mouth.

At first, you're hesitant. You've never done this before, and you're not sure what to do. But Joel is patient and kind, gently stroking your hair and murmuring words of encouragement.

"That's it, baby," he whispers. "Just relax and take your time. Mmm, yeah, just like that."

Emboldened by his words, you begin to explore him more fully. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock, swirling your tongue around the sensitive tip. Joel lets out a low moan of pleasure, and you can feel his hips bucking up towards you.

Encouraged you take him deeper into your mouth. You suck harder, your cheeks hollowing out as you work him over. Joel's moans grow louder and more frequent. Suddenly, he grabs a handful of your hair, guiding your head up and down in a steady rhythm.

"Fuck, baby, I'm gonna come," he gasps, his voice tight with pleasure.

You pull back, letting his cock slip out of your mouth with a wet pop. Joel opens his eyes and looks at you, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps. "Keep goin’ like you were, just swallow if you can, it's natural."

Joel's eyes flutter closed as he helps guide your head back down to his cock, savoring the feeling of him growing hard in your mouth once more. You wrap your lips around him, taking him in slowly, and begin to move your head in a gentle rhythm. Joel's breathing grows heavy as he lets out a low moan, his fingers finding their way into your hair.

You can feel him tensing up, and then, with a shudder, he comes, filling your mouth with warmth. The taste is strange and unfamiliar, but you swallow, determined to please him. You pull your mouth away from him quickly, probably a little too quickly. "Joel," you say, your voice hesitant as you look over at him, catching his breath. "Can we... do it?"

Joel looks at you, his expression serious. "Do what, babygirl?" he asks, puffing out a response through caught breathes even though he knows what you're asking.

"You know...have sex," you whisper.

Joel's eyes widen, and he looks at you with a mix of surprise and desire. "Baby, I just came," he says, his voice gentle. "Let me catch my breath for a bit, and then we can figure somethin' out."

Joel's eyes meet yours, and he can see the slight hint of disappointment in them. But he understands, and he takes your face gently in his hands, leaning in close so that his mouth is almost touching yours. "Don't worry, babygirl," he says, his voice soft and soothing. "I'll make it worth your while." You can feel your heart flutter at his words, and you can't help but smile. Joel's breathing begins to return to normal, and he pulls back slightly, looking at you with a serious expression. "I think I have a couple of ideas," he says. "But, it's gonna take some effort on both our parts."

You nod, eager to please him and experience more of the pleasure he's shown you.

Joel takes a deep breath, looking at you with a serious expression. "I want you to take your top off."

You look at him in surprise, your hands instinctively going to cover your chest. "What? Why?" You ask, your voice hesitant.

Joel reaches out to take your hands in his, his eyes meeting yours. "Because it's a natural part of a woman's body, and it's one of the things that turns me on the most," he explains. "And I want to be able to pleasure you fully, without any barriers between us."

You bite your lower lip, you've never been naked in front of anyone before, and the thought of doing so with Joel is both terrifying and thrilling. But you trust him, and you want to please him. Taking a deep breath, you nod your head, signaling your agreement. Joel's eyes softened as he smiled, his hands moving to gently guide you onto his lap. You feel a flutter in your stomach as you straddle him, your thighs brushing against his. His fingers deftly undo the knot that holds your bikini top in place, and the fabric falls away, leaving your breasts exposed to the warm summer air. You feel a shiver run down your spine, your nipples hardening in response to the exposure.

Joel's eyes darken as he takes in the sight of your bare chest, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Mmm, so perfect baby.” Before you can respond, Joel leans in, his mouth capturing one of your nipples. You gasp at the sensation, your hands instinctively going to his hair as he sucks and licks at your breast. Joel's hands come up to cup your other breast, his fingers teasing your nipple. You had never felt anything like this before, the sensation of his mouth on your breast, his hands caressing your body. It's intoxicating.

Joel's hands start to wander down your body, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin. He reaches your bikini bottoms, and you can feel him tugging at the fabric. "Lift up for me, baby,"

You do as he asks, lifting your hips off the ground as he pulls your bikini bottoms down your legs. You're completely naked now, exposed to Joel's gaze, but instead of feeling embarrassed, you feel a thrill run through your body. Joel's eyes are dark with desire as he takes in the sight of your bare body.

"Fuck, babygirl, you are so damn delicious," his hands reach out to touch you. He runs his fingers along your inner thighs, teasing you. "Spread your legs for me, baby, nice and wide," he says, his voice low and commanding.

You comply, spreading your legs apart.

He leans in close, his lips brushing against your ear. "You have no idea how fucking sexy you are, do you? I've been dreaming about this for years, imagining what it would be like to touch you, to taste you."

You gasp as Joel's hand slips between your legs, his fingers finding your clit. "You're so wet," he growls, his fingers circling your clit in slow, deliberate movements. "I can feel how much you want me, how much you need me. You think you're ready, baby?"

You nod, feeling a surge of excitement and nervousness. Joel moves between your legs, his body hovering over yours. He looks into your eyes, searching for any signs of doubt or hesitation.

"If you want to stop at any time, just tell me," he says. "I won't be upset."

You nod and shyly say, “I'm ready.”

Joel positions himself at your entrance, his tip pressing gently against your opening. He looks into your eyes, searching for any signs of discomfort or fear. "Just breathe, babygirl," his voice soothes you a bit. "It might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but I promise it'll feel good real soon."

You nod, taking a deep breath as Joel starts to push inside of you. You feel a sharp pain as he breaks through your barrier, and you can't help but gasp at the sensation. “Ah, Joel, it hurts," you whimper, your eyes watering.

Joel curses under his breath, his eyes filled with concern. "I'm sorry, babygirl," he says, his voice gentle. "I know, I know, I gotcha.” He continues to move slowly, giving your body time to adjust to the intrusion. You can feel yourself stretching to accommodate him, and you can't help but wince at the discomfort. Joel leans down, almost kissing you, his lips soft and gentle against yours. "It's okay, babygirl," he murmurs. "Just relax and let me take care of you."

As he continues to move, the pain starts to fade, replaced by a strange, unfamiliar sensation. It's not entirely unpleasant, but it's not exactly comfortable either. Joel seems to sense your confusion, and he starts to move his hips in a slow, circular motion. "Feel that, babygirl?" he touches your lower belly where you can feel his cock hitting. "That's your body gettin’ used to me. It's gonna feel good soon, I promise."

And he's right. As he continues to move, the sensation begins to shift, becoming something more pleasurable. You can feel yourself getting wetter, your body responding to Joel's movements. "That's it, babygirl," Joel murmurs, his voice low and husky. "Let yourself feel it. Let yourself feel me."

He starts to move faster, his hips thrusting harder against yours. You think you can feel yourself getting closer to another orgasm and Joel can sense it too. "You like that, babygirl? You like feeling my cock inside of you? You like feeling me stretch you open, fill you up?"

You nod, a small whimper coming from the back of your throat.

"Good," he breathes, pushing his hips deeper into yours, the friction making him groan. "Tell me when you're gonna come, sweetheart."

You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. "I-I'm gonna come," you gasp.

Joel's eyes widen, and he nods, his hips thrusting harder against yours. "Come for me, babygirl," he growls, his voice low and commanding. "Come on my cock."

The orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave, so powerful that it feels like every nerve in your body is firing at once. You can't help but cry out, a loud, primal sound that probably alerts everyone in close proximity to what's happening. Your body convulses with pleasure, every muscle tensing and then releasing as waves of ecstasy wash over you.

Joel's thrusts become more erratic, his hips slamming against yours with a fierce urgency as he chases his own release. His breath comes in short, sharp gasps, each one hot and moist against your ear. "Fuck, babygirl," he groans. "I'm so close. I'm gonna come too." You can feel him throbbing inside of you, each pulse of his cock sending another shiver of pleasure through your body. You wrap your legs around him, pulling him deeper inside of you, wanting to feel every inch of him as he fills you up with his warmth.

And then he's there, his body tensing as he reaches his own peak. "Fuck, babygirl," he groans. "Oh fuck!" He collapses on top of you, his breath hot and heavy against your neck.

You can feel his heart pounding against your chest. For a moment, neither of you say anything, both of you too caught up in the afterglow of what just happened.

Finally, Joel lifts his head, looking down at you with a mixture of awe and desire. "Fuck, babygirl," he murmurs, his voice still low and husky. "That was...incredible."

You wrap your arms around him, feeling a surge of affection and gratitude. "Thank you," you whisper into his ear as you instinctively start stroking his hair.

Joel looks up at you, "What are you thankin’ me for?"

You feel a mix of embarrassment and shyness. "For showing me how good it can feel."

Joel smiles. "You're welcome, baby girl. I'm glad I could be the one to show you." He leans in, his lips capturing yours in a soft, gentle kiss. You can feel yourself getting lost in the moment, in the feeling of Joel's lips on yours, in the warmth of his body pressed against yours.

Your first kiss.

But all too soon, the bliss comes to an end. Joel pulls away, his eyes meeting yours. "I better get goin'," he says. "Your dad will be back soon."

You nod, feeling a surge of disappointment. "Okay," you say kinda pouty.

Joel smirks and lifts your chin in his hand so you're looking at him. "Don't look so sad, babygirl," he says, his voice gentle. "This is just the beginning. I promise to show you so much more."

With that, he gives you a quick kiss on the forehead and he gets up, putting his swim trunks back on. You watch as he walks away, your heart heavy in your chest. You know that what just happened was wrong, that it's not something that should have happened. But you can't help the way you feel, the way your body responds to Joel's touch. You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. You know that you should feel guilty, that you should be ashamed of what just happened. But all you can feel is a sense of excitement, of anticipation. You know that this is just the beginning.

And you can't wait.

[yndrgrl]

katsuki bakugo has a glow up during summer break, & now he has a lot of girls' attention

fluff. ooc! bakugo. bits of jealousy. sfw. x reader. acquaintances to lovers. long ass fic.

a/n: the horny content will continue after this message :) also i kinda got nerdy so just ignore my rambles about fighting haha

the whispers & murmurs buzzed like bugs throughout the halls of u.a. you couldn't help but eavesdrop when you heard lower classmen gush about how good katsuki looks, how he definitely had a summer glow up.

it's not that he was bad looking before, that's just not the case. so, when you heard that he somehow got hotter over the span of a few months, you grew curious.

your best friend, ochaco, began to rave about him. "no, you don't understand, y/n. have you seen him yet?"

"i haven't yet, but it doesn't matter! he's still rude as hell!" you told her. "besides, aren't you still going after midoriya?"

"yeah, but i can still appreciate attractive people," she retorted, shoving the rest of her her breakfast-on-the-go in her mouth. you fished your phone out of your school cardigan pocket to change your music when, like a kdrama (or a shitty fanfic), you ran into something-- no, someone.

speak of the devil. "oi! watch it!" the abrasive blonde spun around & met your eyes. his harden glare soften oh so subtly.

"i'm sorry," you quaintly apologized. it's the first day & the first hour of the next 180 days, & you're not going to get in a fight.

"it's whatever, just make sure where you're going next time," katsuki responded. his tone was still harsh, yet what he said was almost nice.

he walked off into the both of yours' classroom, leaving you & ochaco stunned. you both stared at each other, mouths agape. "what just happened?" she finally spat out.

"i have no idea."

"WAS HE JUST NICE?"

a week later, you sat in class, listening to mr. aizawa drone on about something so utterly boring, you'd rather stick your head in a toilet & flush it yourself. you let your eyes wander around the class. for the most part, everyone stayed the same.

then, your eyes landed on katsuki, who was seated by the window. now that you had time to think about it, he did change. his jawline was a tad sharper, his hair appeared more soft, & his shirt clung onto every inch of his upper body. he definitely bulked up during the summer.

his skin is clear, he must've also began caring for a sense of style because his fingers displayed grunge rings, & his eyes were somehow a darker, more alluring shade of crimson. wait, his eyes... were staring at you.

no, he was staring at you staring at him.

god, you felt like a creep. you were expecting him to yell at you, scowl through gritted teeth, but no. he didn't do any of that. he shot you a smirk, then went back to jotting notes.

confusion settled in after embarrassment. you couldn't help that a light pink dusted your cheeks. it wasn't noticeable though, thank goodness.

the subtle, weird antics didn't stop. maybe he's just playing with me or something, you wondered. or maybe i'm looking too much into thinks.

when passing him in the halls, he'd acknowledge you by giving you a small nod-- even if his friends were talking his ears off. he'd hold the doors open for you & only you, but would walk away quickly. he was treating you differently then he treats everyone else, & you don't know why.

"bakugo~" a girl you barely recognized greeted. "you look handsome today!"

he & his friends sat on the other side of your friends' long table. you were the closest to his squad, only three seats away from them. they could hear your conversations, but that means you could hear theirs.

"shut it, & eat your food," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. with his chopsticks, he picked at his bento box.

"ooo~ what did you pack?" she pressed as she inched closer to him. "aww, did your mom make that?"

"no, i did," he raised his voice. she wouldn't take the hint though.

she merely giggled, asking, "could you feed it to me? i wanna try some~" she crossed her arms under her breasts to intensify her cleavage. she was picture perfect, to say the least. any other guy would be drooling at the sight of her.

not bakugo though. he was goal-oriented, focused on the future, & not into dating from what you gathered. a small part of you is bummed out that he isn't interested in romance. he was practically everything you wanted in a guy after all-- just minus the whole "jerk" part.

"what are you looking at, bakugo?" you didn't realize you were staring -once again- until the girl whipped her head around & caught your gaze. her cattish smile dropped into a thin line. "quit staring, idiot-"

"don't call her that, bitch."

both yours & her eyes widened at the quickness & unexpected defensiveness spewed by bakugo. he stuck some of his egg omelette in his mouth, unbothered.

"wh-what? i don't think i heard you, bakugo."

he swallowed his food, ran his tongue across his top teeth, and started to pick up more food with his chopsticks, reiterating, "don't talk to y/n like that, got it?" he put the food in his mouth.

she scoffed, humiliated. "i have to leave," she said, voice dropping at least an octave. your eyes trailed her as she sat with her friends, & they immediately began gossiping. how could you tell? the way they all looked back at you with a nasty expression on their faces.

you returned your attention back to bakugo, who had both your friends & his friends floored with what just happened. "thanks for that," you started. "you really didn't have to do that."

"i know i didn't, but someone had to shut her up."

you replied, "i mean, i'm sure there was a nicer way."

"i tried," he told you with that small smirk on his face again. "she didn't get the hint, i have to be more obvious."

"yeah, in more ways than one," a friend on his side, sero, snickered.

"hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" classic katsuki, reverting back to yelling.

ever since that happened, your friends haven't stopped talking about it since. "guys, c'mon. it's almost been a week," you groaned. you were all getting ready in the school locker room to do hand-to-hand, no quirk combat with a celebrated instructor.

"i think bakugo likes you~" ochaco teased in a sing-songy voice.

you tried to reason, "maybe he was just annoyed with her, & it has nothing to do with me."

"i don't know, y/n," momo laughed, pulling her hair into a ponytail. "he seemed pretty into you."

"no way, not bakugo-"

"well, why not bakugo?" mina, who just so happened to be good friends with said man, asked while she slipped on her shoes.

"because we all know what he's like. he doesn't really scream the dating type, you know?" you grabbed a water bottle & locked your back into your locker.

mina shrugged, & ochaco said, "you said one time that bakugo was the closest to your type... do you like him?"

"WHAT?"

the rest of the conversation was cut short when tsuyu pointed out they should be in the training room by now, causing all the girls to scramble out of the locker room.

the instructor, once the bell rang, introduced himself. he was a nice man seemingly. he was a well-seasoned martial artist who knew what he was talking about.

after his brief speech, he had his assistant -a younger, more egotistical guy- be his dummy when explaining a move. "does anyone have any questions?" he asked. no one answered. "cool, find a partner, & try it out."

everyone scurried to find their partners. pair by pair, no one chose you... all except-

"hey you, be my partner," bakugo practically demanded.

"me?"

"no, the wall behind you. yes, you, y/n," he joked, the same smirk only you get to see on his face. this time, however, it was a full-blown smirk.

"are you sure?"

"yeah," he scoffed, dragging you by the arm to an empty space. he studied how your face contorted from surprise to concern. "listen, if you think you're gonna drag me down or whatever, you're not-"

"no, it's not that," you interrupted. you felt your pride inflate slightly.

"then what is it?"

"i just don't want to hurt you."

it was his turn to be shocked. what did you mean by that?

the first hour went by, techniques were taught, & moves were learned. however, now it was the time that really put things to the test: open spar. it was at this time in training when things got heated. everyone in the room gives it their all no matter what, so the atmosphere turns into something animalistic, yet so empowering.

but before that, is a small water break. speaking of water, where did you leave yours? you swear you brought it in. bakugo must've seen how confused you appeared when he offered (or told you), "here, take some of mine."

too thirsty to even care the open-mouthed expressions from your peers, you took the bottle from his outstretched hand. "thank you!" you cheered, taking a few sips then handing it back to him.

"was that even enough? you barely drank anything," he jested. it sounded like he was teasing you, but, again, he said something like he cared about your well-being.

"yeah, i'll be fine. the worst that can happen is i'll faint."

"you better not. i need a good training partner."

"oh whatever, you're getting a good training partner."

suddenly, the instructor boomed, "water break is over! get back with your partner for sparring!"

once everyone huddled back with their partners & got situated, the instructor explained briefly that everyone will be grappling ("no striking" he repeated ten times as well) five minute rounds, switch partners, another five minute round, & so on so forth. "alright got it?"

"yes sir!"

"good," he nodded to his assistant, who got the stop watch ready, "3, 2, 1, go!"

yoy & katsuki go into your stances. one thing about being shorter than him is that, in the game of wrestling, you're at in advantage at first. "don't go easy on me," you told him, it was meant as a warning

"i was just about to tell you i wasn't." the moment he finished, he took a double-leg shot. it was executed near flawless-- emphasis on the near.

you sprawled your legs back, collapsing your body on top of his. you drove your shoulder into his neck, which resulted in bakugo's face smushed against the mat. he might be strong, but no one's neck is that strong to hold up an entire person. you heard him audibly groan "fuck!"

you caught his arm & his head with one of yours. the two of you were on your knees, but your goal was to get him flat, stomach down. with his trapped arm & leg, you pulled him out from under you & quickly sped towards his back. you mounted him, keeping yourself close to his. you gazed up at your instructor, who gave you a knowing nod of approval.

like a good fighter, katsuki sprung his head up. he missed your nose, instead having his skull collide with your cheek. it hurt, but you had to keep going. "since when did you learn how to wrestle?"

"what do you mean?" you thought everyone knew. you swore that you've mentioned it in front of the class.

"you're fucking good, you know that?" he praised as he fought of your hands.

"you're not too bad yourself," you told him before you crossbody locked him.

"no, i'm being serious. you're too damn good. you're gonna be my partner every time we grapple."

you & bakugo, now you call him katsuki, have only grown closer since then. he would take time out of his study session to ensure you understood the material. before he could finish, the library assistant -a girl around your age- would ask if he needed help with anything, shy blush on her face.

other times he'd walk with you back to your dorms when a group of girls would ask for his number.

it was a constant occurrence; girls notice him, ask for something, then ultimately get rejected. it wasn't in a nice way either. he always degraded & humiliated them, but they'd let him because of how handsome he was.

it was a saturday afternoon where you & katsuki got food from a nearby convenience store & sat in the park. no scheduled training or overwhelming amounts of homework. he insisted on paying for you, & who are you to reject free food?

"okay, but i really have to ask," you started, eating your food, "why aren't you dating anyone?"

"i don't know," he simply put it, downing a bottle of a protein drink.

"you do know, you're just not telling me." you actually didn't know if that was true, you were just bluffing.

"fine, i'm just waiting for a some girl to realize i like her," he admitted so nonchalantly, as if he didn't drop a mind bomb.

your mood dampened. he was your dream guy, the more you hung out with him. you might have developed a crush on him, yet you didn't even realize he liked anyone else.

"no way! who?" you had to sound enthused or he would know something was up.

"no one, forget i said anything," he cleared.

"i want to know~ i can help find out her favorite flowers or something so you can confess!"

"really?" he asked, brow quirked. you nodded your head.

"tch, alright. what's your favorite flower?"

that didn't make any sense. "what?"

"you said that you're gonna help me confess, so what's your favorite flower?"

"katsuki, i don't think she has the same favorite flower than me."

"oh my god, you're so fuckin' dense," he muttered under his breath. "i want to know your favorite flower, y/n, so i can confess." his cheeks reddened as he gave you intense stare, studying your expression. it was still confused.

"confess to who-" he cut you off by putting his hand behind your head & pulling you into a kiss. it was gentle, passionate, & truly shocking to you.

"confess to you, idiot," he panted when the two of you pulled away. "i'm already here," he said with a fuck-it attitude.

"y/n, i've liked you for a long time, a really long time. i thought i made it obvious but you never really caught on cuz you're a dumbass or something."

you laughed, & he smiled at you.

he continued, "so then shitty hair told me i had to make it even more obvious, so that's what i've been doing this entire year."

"but all those girls-"

"yeah well i didn't know i was getting a fan club this year. honestly, they don't fuckin' matter though. what matters is you & i," he told you, his face still so close to yours. "so tell me, if you feel the same."

"i-i do," you stuttered out. in your defense, you were not used to such close proximity to anyone, let alone a sculpture chiseled by ancient greeks themselves.

"say it again," he said, voice deep & eyes half lidded. "i need to hear it again."

"i do, katsuki," you repeated per his request. "i really, really like you."

he pulled you into another kiss, & you both felt each other smile. it felt right.

[chronologically-challenged]

There was this one art a little while ago about the family stuck in a situation where they're forced to play ISAT in some post game scenerio. I keep having many thoughts, but here's some about them figuring out who Loop is:

1) They all BAFFLED by how Loop usually talks. They all thought Loop was this shy little star person. Immediately, they get hit with "have you tried not dying~~~~" into "I think you deserve help" and do not know what to think.

2) Odile is in charge of the controller. Mainly bc no one else wants to control Siffrin and they all have equal amount of video game experience aka none, so Odile is being practical about it. This has the side effect that Odile gets to be all investigative. Odile makes it her MISSION to find stuff out about Loop.

3) Siffrin has complicated feelings about them finding out about Loop??? Like okay they HATE their family has to see all this, ESPECIALLY THAT THEY CAN SEE HIS THOUGHTS!!!! But. Loop. Siffrin hasn't told his family the truth. It's not his story to tell. But. If they figure it out...? In a way that proves Loop wrong, right? That they can recognize them. Maybe it takes a bit because Loop looks different is and actively trying to be different from Siffrin. But. Maybe...? Either way they encourage Odile to talk to Loop. If this is a simulation... if this is real in some way even... yeah he wants to talk to Loop.

Anyway here's a list on how they find out one by one:

Odile: She catches the little stuff. She notes the royal We, the fact that Loop alludes to having an old body by accident, the casual familiarity in some places. All of that. She is also the first to note their eyes being different shades. However, Odile doesn't make the connection 100%, not until Isabeau. Well.

Isabeau: He gets some of the weird stuff Loop says but not as many as Odile. HE finds Loops side comments weirder. He sees Loop's reactions and they're a bit. Uncanny.... and then he has another realization, Loop and Siffrin have the same eyes. When Isabeau notes this, it all clicks for Odile.

Mirabelle: Okay, so. You cannot tell me that Mirabelle has not read fantasy stories with weird guide characters. She has to have!!!! So at first, she's not even looking for who Loop is. And tbh? She has the best read on Loop's personality otherwise. Sassy, but clearly caring. A bit of a shit, but serious when needed. And mainly, she appreciates Loop Being There when the rest of them couldn't. That being said, the moment where the "have you wondered who I am" happens. And suddenly Mirabelle Is Thinking Of the Possibilties. And then the ME option pops up!!!! Odile was already about to pick it but Mirabelle YELLS to pick that one!!!!! Uh. Shortly after that they all have a conversation about how yeah, Loop is VERY likely Siffrin. Mirabelle justifies herself with tropes. Of course!!! Of course they're Siffrin!!! If they're anyone they have to be Siffrin. Siffrin got transformed and became the guide they needed!!!! It Just Makes Sense.

Bonnie: ....Tbh doesn't really figure it out on their own? But also. Loop. Feels like Frin. Not exactly like Frin. But they're Frin enough to be trusted so who cares. It takes awhile for them to really get it too because... it's weird. Also they're the one to really ask why there would be two Frins??? Duh??? And why would Frin become Loop???

Anyway, basically, after picking "Me?" They pretty much are all on the same page. They got that it was wishcraft. They got Loop is Siffrin somehow. I think Odile might figure out that "hey, uh if Loop is the guide then what happens when Loop doesn't have a guide" and Mirabelle probably says "wait Siffrin didn't you say to me once that without Loop you wouldn't have made it?"

Meanwhile Siffrin is a mix of sad and very emotionally touched. Because. Yeah. Even when trying to actively hide, their family recognized them.

Notably, Siffrin gets them to twohats (Siffrin remembers that they understood Loop most after showing them the coin. So yes, the family does get to see Siffrin's "I will forget everything I love" moment. Goes as well as you expect. Lots of hugs and the reassurance that they will bug Siffrin until the end of their days so he can't forget him so HA!)

But yeah. Siffrin really wants to make sure they can get little simulation Siffrin to realize Loop is Siffrin as well. Because if there is any chance of this being real and that they're guiding a Siffrin in another reality, then they want to make sure they can get Loop to know just how much they did. How much they helped and changed Siffrin's fate for the better.

To note: I'd imagine in this scenario, Odile wouldn't go do any of the side stuff. At least not too much of it. There wouldn't be as much exploration either. Siffrin likely would be very underleveled as a result.

So perhaps in this scenario? Imagine if you will that while the Siffrin watching definitely defeated Loop, the simulation Siffrin loses.

And Siffrin finds out that... no. No! Of course Loop couldn't kill him. Of course they wouldn't. There is a catharsis to that realization.

(After they finish the game, either a) prologue playthrough time or b) they're freed and the group IMMEDIATELY try to figure out a way to find Loop bc uh??? Even if they weren't Siffrin, they want to find them. But like. Two Frins. Two Frins they know are different but who cares, no matter who Loop chooses to be, Loop Is Family Too).

Anyway, family plays isat featuring the Loop Saga.

[sosa2imagines]

You, me and Vegas! Part 5

Warning- Fluff, little angst, talk about failed dates.

The spa was a beautiful, tranquil place, with soft ambient music playing in the background. The scent of essential oils filled the air, creating a soothing atmosphere. The walls were covered in calming shades of pastel blues and greens, and the lighting was intentionally dim to help promote relaxation.

The decor was modern yet earthy, with plants placed strategically to provide a sense of nature indoors. The overall effect was a peaceful retreat, the perfect place to unwind and forget the worries of the world.

While Peach was enjoying her massage, completely relaxed and her mind at ease, Bucky was having a different experience.

The masseuse worked on his back, kneading and pressing his muscles, slowly loosening the knots of tension.

However, Bucky was not as relaxed as Peach. His eyes were wide open, looking around the room. He felt out of place, unused to such environment.

“You need to relax.” the masseuse whispered, noticing his tension.

Bucky looked at Peach, lying on her stomach on her table, her eyes closed peacefully. She looked so relaxed, it made Bucky envious. He wanted to relax too, but years of being on high alert had trained his body otherwise.

The masseuse's hands on his back continued their work, trying to coax the tension out of his muscles. “You're too tense.” she commented, pressing her fingers into a particularly tight spot.

Bucky, his head turning slightly, whispered over to Peach. “Hey psst, Peach…” he said quietly, trying to keep his voice low so as not to disturb the other guests in the spa.

Peach, her eyes still closed, hummed softly. “Trying to relax, Bucky.” she responded, a hint of amusement in her tone. “Like you should be right now.”

Bucky chuckled softly. “Yeah, I'm trying...” he replied, though he still felt somewhat restless. His body was not used to just lying there, doing nothing.

The masseuse continued her work on his back, but Bucky's mind was still active. He looked around the room, taking in the peaceful ambiance, the soft music, and the other couples in various stages of relaxation.

Bucky, still lying face down on his table, looked over at Peach again, trying to keep their conversation quiet. He whispered across to her, his voice a low murmur.

“Hey, Peach,” he whispered, catching her attention. “Seriously though, why are we here? This seems like a total waste of money.”

Peach, her eyes still closed but a small smile playing on her lips, didn't move from her position. “We're here,” she responded softly, “because we both need to relax. You've been too stress, and we are here to remove that stress.”

Bucky groaned softly. “But this is so... unproductive,” he protested, his voice still low but with a hint of frustration. “I could be doing something else, something useful, not just lying here let someone press on my back. I should be serious, I'm jobless.”

Peach's eyes opened for a moment, her smile widening slightly. “Jobless doesn't mean you can't relax,” she replied, her voice still soft. “In fact, if anything, being jobless makes you need to relax more. You're too much on edge, Bucky. And will being serious get you a job?”

Bucky grumbled under his breath but couldn't argue with her logic. “I guess not,” he sighed, feeling the masseuse's hands still working on his back. “But I'm not used to just... lying here. This feels... I don't know, weird.”

Peach chuckled softly. “I thought you'd say that,” she remarked, her eyes still closed. “But just try to enjoy the moment, Bucky. Stop thinking, stop worrying. You need this, let them take your stress away.”

Bucky, his face still half-buried in the massage table, smiled at her words. His expression softened, the tension in his features eased. He opened his eyes and looked over at Peach.

“You know,” he said, his voice quiet, “I was thinking...” He paused, then continued, “You should stay with me, for the time being.”

Peach's eyes opened and her smile widened as she heard his words. She turned her head slightly and looked over at him, her eyes warm and appreciative.

“Of course,” she replied, her voice soft but filled with happiness. “After all, what's a 'wife' for? if not to support and stay with her 'husband' in times of need.”

Bucky smiled back at her, his heart swelling with a mixture of gratitude and affection.

It was both a comfort and a surprise, Peach's easy acceptance of his suggestion. To have her with him, living under the same roof, felt both nerve-wracking and... nice. “You are impossible...”

Bucky and Peach, after their massage session, moved towards the pool area. The water was warm, the temperature just right. They relaxed there, letting the water soothe their muscles.

Bucky floated beside Peach, the water buoying him up. He looked over at her, her eyes closed, and spoke up. “Hey, remember that escort card?”

Peach opened her eyes, a curious look on her face. “The escort card?”

Bucky nodded, a slight frown on his face. “Yeah, that one,” he confirmed. “My best friend Steve thought I could use it...to loosen up. Especially after a failed date...”

Peach floated closer, her curiosity piqued. “And did you?” she inquired, her voice soft. “Use it, I mean.”

Bucky looked away, his gaze drifting to the water's surface. “No,” he replied, a hint of regret in his voice. “I just... couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm not the type to just... go to clubs and pay for a date.”

Peach nodded, understanding his sentiment. She knew Bucky was never the type to indulge in such things. She reached out and touched his arm gently. “Good,” she said, her voice firm and filled with reassurance. “You're too good for that anyway. Want to share why your date failed?”

Bucky let out a soft sigh, the memory still fresh in his mind. “She was just... not interested,” he said, the sting of rejection still there. “I thought we had a connection, and she seemed excited about the idea, but when the date happened...” He trailed off, his voice betraying a hint of hurt and disappointment.

Peach's heart ached for him. She could see, he had been hopeful about the date, and the fact that it had ended in disappointment must have been hard on him. “That's rough,” she murmured, her hand still on his arm. “I'm sorry.”

Bucky shrugged, trying to brush it off. “It's fine,” he muttered, though his expression didn't quite match his words. “I mean, it's not the first failed date I've had and probably won't be the last. It's just... hard, knowing that no one seems to want to give me a real chance.”

“So you have been through the whole, listen to sad songs, watch sad movies, questioning everything?”

Bucky chuckled, a bittersweet smile on his face. “Yeah, I've been there,” he admitted. “Sad songs, sad movies, questioning life... the whole thing. But it doesn't really help, you know? Just makes you feel more miserable.”

Peach floated closer to him, her voice filled with understanding. “Yeah, I get it,” she said. “It's like these things just make you sink deeper into the sadness. And then you feel even worse about feeling so bad.”

Bucky nodded, appreciating her understanding. “Yeah, exactly,” he agreed. “You just keep thinking, 'Why did this happen? What's wrong with me? Why can't I seem to find someone that wants to be with me?' It's like a cycle of self-pity and doubt.”

Days had passed since the spa day. Peach had tried multiple times to get Bucky to agree to give dating another chance. Each time, Bucky was reluctant, shutting down the idea as soon as it was suggested.

Today was no different. They were sitting in the living room, the topic of dating once again coming up.

“Come on, Bucky,” Peach insisted, her voice firm. “You need to give it another shot.”

Bucky shook his head forcefully, a stubborn look on his face, “No,” he said firmly. “I told you, I don't want to. I've had enough failed dates for a lifetime.”

Peach rolled her eyes in frustration, her determination to change his mind undeterred. “You can't just give up on dating, Bucky,” she argued. “You're a great guy, and there's someone out there for you. Just call her!!!”

Bucky's expression hardened at her insistent tone. “No,” he repeated firmly, “I don't want to. I'm tired of putting myself out there, only to end up feeling worse. I'm done with dating!”

Peach let out an exasperated sigh, her eyes narrowing at his stubbornness. “You can't just give up like this,” she retorted, not willing to back down. “What if you find someone really great if you keep trying?”

Later that night, Bucky sat on the edge of his bed, the phone in his hand. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to do. The conversation he'd had with Peach earlier was replaying in his mind, her insistence that he give dating another try echoing in his ears.

He dialed the number with slightly trembling fingers, the dial tone seemed to echo in the room, the anticipation building.

The phone rang for what felt like an eternity, each ring making Bucky more and more nervous. He glanced towards the door, where he knew Peach was waiting anxiously, silently encouraging him. He could almost envision her expression, her eyes wide, lips pressed together as she hoped for the best.

Finally, the ringing stopped, and a soft, feminine voice answered. “Hello?” The voice on the other end was polite, yet held a hint of curiosity. Bucky swallowed back his nerves and spoke, trying his best to sound more confident than he felt.

“Hey, it's Bucky,” he said, his voice slightly trembling. “We met at my parent's party, and you gave me your number...” He paused, waiting for a response, the silence on the other end making him more nervous by the second.

There was a moment of silence before the girl responded, her voice registering surprise. “Oh, right, yes...” There was a pause, in which Bucky could almost feel an impending rejection. But then, the girl spoke again. “You're calling to ask me out, right?”

Bucky's heart skipped a beat at the confirmation. “Yeah, I am,” he replied, the words tumbling out of his mouth. “I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner tomorrow?”

There was another pause, longer this time, and Bucky felt the anxiety rise inside him with each second passing. He knew she was probably thinking about her answer, weighing her options, and he almost expected a rejection. But then, she spoke again, her voice soft. “Sure, that sounds nice. See you at 8, at the Bristo. “

Bucky's heart leapt at her words. She had agreed to the date. He could hardly believe it. “Great,” he managed to say, trying to sound nonchalant, “I'll meet you there at 8. See you then.”

As he hung up the phone, the adrenaline from the successful call slowly subsiding, he let out a sigh. Peach, who had been listening from the other room, rushed into his room, a wide smile on her face.

“You did it!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement. “I knew you could do it! You're going on a date!!” She was radiating happiness, clearly pleased with the outcome.

Bucky, still feeling the buzz from the call, smiled slightly at her enthusiasm. “Yeah, I did it,” he agreed, a hint of disbelief in his tone. “I actually asked her out, and she said yes. I can't believe it.”

Peach, her face set in a serious expression, gave Bucky some firm advice. “Here's something important,” she said, her tone authoritative. “Don't take your car. Sometimes girls love to give their dates a lift. It gives them a sense of control and independence. Besides, it makes you seem less self-absorbed.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her suggestion. “You think so?” he asked, not entirely convinced. “I mean, I always thought driving made me seem responsible and dependable.”

Peach rolled her eyes. “Maybe for other occasions, but not for a date,” she responded. “Think about it. By letting her give you a lift, she can show you she's independent, capable and confident. Plus, it adds a hint of mystery and intrigue, especially if she is proud of her car.”

Bucky and Peach spent the rest of the evening discussing date ideas, with Peach offering her thoughts and advices. Bucky sat with a notebook, taking notes as she spoke, his expression a mix of determination and nerves.

He jotted down thoughts from Peach, such as the importance of good hygiene, active listening, and being genuinely interested in the girl. He also noted the tips about clothing and hair, the importance of paying compliments, and how to not come off too strong.

But most importantly, being comfortable and being yourself.

Part 4- Part 6

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[bluecatwriter]

I watched the Wildhorn/Black/Hampton Dracula rock opera!

Okay, okay, okay. As some of you know, one of the guys in my theater troupe got me comp tickets to see him in Dracula: The Musical. You guys. It was an EGREGIOUS adaptation that didn't even make narrative sense on its own terms. I also had a TOTAL BLAST. 

If you like the musical, no shade to you— please just keep scrolling and like what you like! However, I had so many thoughts about this that I had to word-vomit about it, and thought some of you might have fun reading my thoughts on the good, the bad, and ugly for 3,000 words.

TL:DR: Very fun experience, so glad I went, the play's narrative choices make me want to throw hands in a Denny's parking lot, much dunking/adaptation-hate ahead, my friends are amazing, I'm writing my own play now.

(CW discussion of rape, ableism, drug use, suicide)

-First of all, everyone take a moment to appreciate my eyeliner. I do not usually draw eyeliner that well so I was very proud of myself.

-I went with my sister, since we both knew people in the cast. (I thought we knew three, but we actually knew four: the actors who played Dracula, Mina, Lucy, and Quincey.) My sister didn't know anything about Dracula except what she'd picked up from my incoherent ramblings (which I generally keep to a minimum around her). 

-It was a black-box theater, which I didn't expect: six or so rows of chairs on each side of the theater, facing each other across the relatively small room, with the stage in the middle and a live orchestra (!!!) on one end. The set was a minimalist Gothic castle design, with windows, a freestanding moving wall, and a large platform that, throughout the play, served as Dracula's coffin, a table, Lucy's bed, Lucy's coffin, and just a general place to stand and sing in a badass way. I absolutely LOVE black box shows because they're so intimate: you can almost reach out and touch the actors, and you can see every minute facial expression and gesture, the light glittering in their eyes, and so on. (Acting in a black box theater is much more like movie acting because the audience can see what you're doing with your eyes in a way that regular theater doesn't allow, meaning that things like eye contact between characters is much more electric and effective.)

-The sound design and lighting effects were doing a lot of heavy lifting in this show, and they nailed it. Very spooky!

-The play began with the weird sisters, and they were consistently my favorite part of the play— the actresses killed it (ha), bringing an intense, spooky energy to the story, often serving as narrators, background singers, extras, special effects handlers (such as portraying the wreck of the Demeter), and the physical manifestation of Dracula's will/presence. They were AWESOME.

-I had decided in advance that this play was a fanfiction written by Dracula about himself, and nothing about the show dissuaded me from this idea. The guy who played Dracula served major cunt from the moment he stepped onstage, wearing leather pants with laces up the side and a big sweeping coat and a huge amount of eyeliner that really brought out his unnervingly blue eyes. ("All guys should wear eyeliner and leather pants," I joked to my sister after the show, and she responded, with the most haunted look I've ever seen, "I agree about the eyeliner, but not the pants. I lived in San Francisco for three years, and you know not what you speak of. There are things I cannot unsee.")

-Actually, to be honest I liked Dracula's characterization (until the end; see below); whether because of the director or the actor or both, this version really did not downplay what a bastard he is. He was incredibly ruthless, in all senses of the word: focused on a single goal and not caring who got mowed down in the process. Anytime his sung lines talked about him being lonely or sad or whatever, the actor played it off as him trying to garner sympathy from his listener, rather than expressing his true feelings, which was a directing/acting choice I really appreciated.

-When Jonathan came on stage (from the door just a few feet away) I nearly squealed with delight! He just RADIATED "biggest sweetheart you've ever met" energy: tall and lanky and with a scruffy lil beard and clothes that didn't quite fit. I was in love with him from the beginning. Also he got to mention his Kodak camera, and I remembered that I could not actually cheer at moments like that because that would be weird.

-The Dracula-Mina "romance" was introduced very early, which I appreciated; from a storytelling perspective, it was good to have that continuous thread. Dracula looks at a picture of Mina, mentions how young she is, asks Jonathan if she is "pure," and then decides that they're soulmates. It was SO PERVY. Once again, I loved the Dracula characterization. If only it had stayed one-sided…

-I was fortunately warned that in this version Jonathan takes the crucifix off so the weird sisters can continue attacking him, but I still had to suppress a "BOOOOO!" (I did whisper "NOT CANON!" to my sister, and later she said that when that happened in the play she was like, "Oh, okay, I don't care what happens to this guy now.") But I guess it did have the effect of making him less sympathetic, which served the story the play was trying to tell.

-I was pleased that there was a Drac-drinking-from-Jonathan scene, and consistent with the storytelling, Drac had a whole song about how he needs Jonathan's blood so he can be young and hot and go seduce Mina (which, again, fits with the story they were telling). They decided not to have any sexual tension between Dracula and Jonathan, so the blood-drinking scene was pretty brutal (complimentary)— Jonathan laid out on the platform with Drac just. gnawing on his neck while Jonathan writhed and convulsed. It was still kinda hot though not gonna lie

-Lucy's characterization at first was pretty interesting, because her song about the three suitors (and the directing/acting) made it seem like she was just kinda stuck with three mediocre choices, and chose the least offensive one (Arthur, who she describes as boring and can't even think of one nice thing to say about him) and tried to convince herself that she would be happy. This was honestly the biggest moment where I had to just squirm in my seat to keep from actively booing. Don't be so mean 2 my boy! From a storytelling perspective, it wasn't clear at all why she chose Arthur, because Quincey was the only one of the suitors who had any personality at all (even Jack was bland. JACK. WAS BLAND. YOU COULDN'T HAVE HIM SIT ON HIS HAT OR AT LEAST FIDDLE WITH HIS LANCET? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???). Anyway, Arthur was actually totally fine after that song (and had some nice lines in the group songs).

-Meanwhile, Drac is creeping on Mina by entering her thoughts without her consent and being like, "We're soulmates," and she just…. goes along with it???? With literally no rhyme or reason to her decision???? I know some of this is that I hate the whole concept of soulmates, but I expected at least SOME justification for why she was interested in him. There was no indication she was unhappy with Jonathan; there was no hint of any emotional connection; there wasn't even some weird "reincarnated lover" story to try to soften how incredibly strange it felt that Mina was randomly in love with this guy's voice in her head. His baritone is sexy BUT IT IS NOT THAT SEXY. GIRL PLEASE.

-In this version Dracula bites Lucy because he's trying to call Mina to him and Lucy comes by accident and he's like, "Well, nothin' I can do about that. CHOMP." Which, again, I honestly liked this characterization because he's not apologetic about who he is; he is just destroying everyone in his way and not caring about them as people. He just has a goal and he'll do anything to reach it.

-Then of course Lucy's like, "Oooh that was actually so sexy and I never want to wake up from that dream of him chomping on my throat." The directly seemed to imply that being bitten by a vampire just. instantly turns you into something that's not yourself, so I could kinda excuse it if I squinted, but it was still pretty icky.

-Renfield got to stab Jack! My sister felt sorry for Jack (because all his unethical science got shaved off in this adaptation) and I was just like, "YESSS RENFIELD YOU GO!" 

-Jonathan shows up again, in a wheelchair (a really cool old-fashioned one), and Mina goes to marry him, and their marriage is paralleled with Lucy and Arthur's while Drac looms in the background. The double wedding was a nice staging choice, although the optics of Mina somewhat reluctantly marrying disabled Jonathan while abled Dracula is standing by being All Sexy was… uh, it was not great. But on the plus side, maybe it emphasizes the ableism that a lot of people have toward Jonathan's disabilities in the story, bringing them out into the open? (I am grasping at straws here.)

-Van Helsing was perfect! The actor had wild gray hair and forehead bumps and a tenor voice that could shatter your heart into a million pieces. He did a great job of having the "weird professor" vibes even though his lines were more coherent and to-the-point than they are in the book. 

-No blood transfusions, sadly, but I see why they cut that part.

-Lucy turning vamp was very well done. I think I should mention at this point that the actors who played Dracula and Lucy are actually married to each other in real life, and they had really crackling chemistry and it was clear in every scene they were together that they were having just the best time. "Life After Life" was my second-favorite song in the play because it's just Dracula sending Lucy out to eat people— and again, both actors were clearly having SO MUCH FUN performing this song together. At the end of the scene I was all pumped up, like, "Yeah Lucy! Go eat some people!!!"

-Intermission. I told my sister this was like the part in Rashomon where the rapist tells the court his point of view and is like, "Oh, she totally wanted it." My sister shook her head at me and chuckled.

-The graveyard/Bloofer Lady scene was genuinely horrifying; Lucy's actress did an AMAZING job of amping up the horror, beginning the scene by cradling a baby and singing it a lullaby, then just CHOMPING down on it, and throwing it down and hissing like an animal when the Crew of Light approached her. Mina and Jonathan were in that scene, too, and even though Mina didn't have any lines, seeing her reacting to it (rushing to grab the child, dodging out of Bloofer!Lucy's snapping jaws) gave the scene a lot of emotional intensity. 

-Both Bloofer!Lucy's death and Renfield's death were directed beautifully; they were both somewhat quiet, almost slow motion, focused not on the violence but on the emotional weight of both their lives ending.

-Jonathan and Arthur, while both being incredibly bland characters, have I think more dialogue in this play than they do in the book. Every time they spoke I was like, :D :D :D! My blorbos!!!

-Throughout Mina's whole song "Please Don't Make Me Love You" (sung, of course, to Dracula) I focused VERY HARD on my friend's amazing acting, her beautiful voice, the way she was playing this with absolute conviction, while in the back of my head I was screaming. Just a primal, Nazgul-like shriek. GIRL WHY (I think my sister was amused by how much I was squirming)

-Van Helsing has a nice little song about his dead wife, saying that it was a vampire that killed her and that's why he's a vampire hunter now. He was also shooting up with a comically large syringe during this song, but sure, yeah, that's fine. Like I said, his voice was SO BEAUTIFUL, so I was entranced. If only he had gotten a chance to find connection and family ties in order to continue that character arc HINT HINT

-Ah, then we get the Blood Baptism scene. Mina sings a song about how she doesn't want to run away (because of that sexy baritone voice I guess) so she invites Dracula into her room, he knocks out Jonathan, and then they make out over Jonathan's body. Le sigh. The funniest part of this scene is that they had her drink from his chest but they didn't use any fake blood, so he just unbuttons his shirt and she buries her face in his boobs, no context. I asked my sister afterward, "What did you think was going on in that scene?" and she said, "I figured she was drinking from his vampire-milk titties."

-Van Helsing and Dracula got an "I will take you down!"-style song that was actually really cool.

-Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, BOOK-CANON MINA SHOWS UP! She was in a wheelchair now (a great directing choice, I thought), and demanded that Van Helsing hypnotize her, insisted on them keeping the information from her so that Dracula can't get to it, makes them all vow to kill her, and figures out where Dracula is going based on the maps. I was like THERE SHE IS! THERE'S MY GIRL! …But unfortunately this characterization makes no sense in the story the musical is actually telling. Why is Mina leading them to him? Why is she taking such pains to make sure Dracula is not warned of their coming? It didn't fit with any of her characterization in the rest of the play (and especially not with the ending), so it felt really cobbled-together and odd.

-Also Jonathan vows to kill her and there's a whole song about how sad he is that he will have to do that. I was gritting my teeth the whole song being like It's a storytelling choice it's a storytelling choice it's a storytelling choice it's a storytelling choice it's a

-Okay. YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. The song "Deep in the Darkest Night" WAS AMAZING. It's a song by the Crew of Light (and in this version, sung by all six of them, including Mina) about their quest, and how they must be points of light in the darkness. It was SO BEAUTIFUL and SO THEMATICALLY ON POINT and it was EVERYTHING I WANTED from a Dracula musical and it is a CRIME that the whole play was not built around these themes and motifs!! *chewing on the scenery* Also, holy cow, everyone in the cast could sing like nothing else. Full-body chills. Stunning, incredible, showstopping, no notes.

-In one of the hypnotic sessions, Dracula came to stand behind Mina and they sang a duet, a reprise of "Life After Life" (the song for Bloofer!Lucy), and that was an incredibly effective storytelling choice (also their voices just blended so. well. together that even in the songs I hated, I still got chills because their voices were SO DANG BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER). Again, I am haunted by what this play could've been if the Drac/Mina thing was one-sided.

-In this version, Quincey gives Mina his Bowie knife for protection, which I thought was sweet.

-Drac has a big sad-boy song about how he's actually in love with Mina now. BOOHOO MOTHERFUCKER. NO ONE CARES.

-Quincey got killed by trying to stake Dracula and Drac grabbing the stake and shoving it into his stomach. (My sister gasped and squeaked, "No!" when this happened.)

-Meanwhile, Van Helsing and Mina get separated, and Mina has a whole song about how she's made her final decision: she's gonna become a vampire and live with Dracula forever. At this point in the play I was like, Okay, girl, whatever, you do you…

-But then. BUT THEN. *frothing at the mouth*

-(Don Black and Christopher Hampton meet me in the Denny's parking lot I just want to talk)

-Drac's like, "Ooooh no actually I don't want you to be a vampire so you need to kill me now."

-Mina's like, "Nooooo this makes me so sad I have chosen to be a vampire and it is what I truly want!"

-Drac's like "Nobody cares what you want because the authors couldn't care less about your agency as a person"

-Mina's like "nooooooooo i'm so saaaaaad!"

-(Me: *still frothing at the mouth*)

-Finally, weeping, she takes Quincey's knife and places it over his heart.

-And then SHE DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING KILL HIM HE JUST GRABS HER HAND WITH THE KNIFE IN IT AND KILLS HIMSELF

-Like, I am just so mad that Mina doesn't even get the tiniest bit of agency here at the end. She is just blown about by the whims of the men, and at the end none of her narrative choices are respected in any way. A lot of this is, I'm sure, the directing for this particular performance: if I were trying to make this ending a bit more narratively satisfying, I would give Mina a moment where you can see her agreeing with him and deciding to kill him herself. This ending just felt… cheap. It didn't even form a satisfying closing even based on the rules of its own storytelling. It was so ridiculous that I actually had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. 

-After the show we got to talk to all our friends who were in it and it was easy to sincerely compliment them because they all did an AMAZING job. I feel so honored to be friends with such amazingly talented people!

-We drove home in a lightning storm while blasting Blondie's song "One Way or Another" (my sister said she was thinking of this song all through the Drac/Mina story arc) and singing loudly along. "ONE WAY OR ANOTHER/I'M GONNA FIND YA/I'M GONNA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA!"

-I asked her which two characters she thought I shipped the most and she guessed Jonathan/Quincey. Not a bad guess.

-Got home, rambled to my very tired spouse, curled up in bed, turned to him and said, "I promise to never leave you for some random dude who speaks in my head and says we're soulmates," and he replied, "And I promise to never leave you for three sexy vampire ladies," and if that's not a wedding vow renewal I don't know what is.

-Laid awake for nearly two hours brainstorming a Dracula play (not a musical, I'm not that talented). And, uh… yeah. A script is gonna happen. I've written plenty of plays (and co-directed/co-produced a few times), so it's definitely in my wheelhouse, and my brain will not shut up with ideas. So! *tosses it onto list of creative projects*

----

(P.S. If you reblog, please don't tag this as the Dracula musical because I don't want any fans to be exposed to the hate. Thanks!)

[trigunsbbygirl]

Human Things that Confuse Knives Part 2

Made a second one since I had more ideas lol

content warnings: teeth, use bomb in an analogy, mention bruises. this one gets more into the body/anatomy idk what all people are comfy with so just in case

•Knives already thinks dreams are kinda weird, but those surreal ones and the utterly weird ones that just make no sense or seemed so real you wonder if it actually happened? he wants to know what's going on in your brain. Knives will listen to you as you recount your dream, he won't say much or make any facial reactions, but part of him is kinda amazed that your can brain come up with the weirdest, coolest and/or creepiest things ever.

•the concept of having baby teeth and adult teeth weirds Knives out. when Knives learns that you do lose your teeth as a kid he's staring at you like you've just grown a second head. don't tell him that you have wisdom teeth that usually need to be taken out via surgery as a teenager. (Vash is kinda grossed out by it. found out when a kid he was playing with ran up to him and was like 'look! my tooth fell out!:D' he panicked, thinking they got hurt, but it's replaced with horror, disbelief, slight disgust and concern when he finds out every human looses a set of teeth. he hates it a little. has no idea what to do when a kid tells him that a tooth fell out. help him)

•also. imagine Knives surprise when he learns about the appendix. you had been talking with a friend when you mentioned appendicitis and that you had to have surgery. it peaked his interest and when you're done talking, Knives asks about it. he stares at you in uncertainty and disbelief the further you explain. what do you mean there's a small pouch in your stomach that serves little to no function that can essentially become a bomb? Knives doesn't actually believe you until he looks it up. he wonders how humans have survived with bodies like that.

•same wonder when it comes to you having to take vitamins and other supplements because sometimes a body won't produce enough of something or too much.

•the fact the humans shed/lose hair. Knives knows that, but it kinda grosses him out a bit. he hates seeing your hair strands, makes you clean them up. (I hc that the twins just have little to no body hair and they don't actually lose hair strands.)

•double jointed people also weirds Knives out. what do you mean you can twist or bend a joint further than normal? it doesn't exactly creep or gross him out, but he doesn't like it. he'll never admit that, but he won't look/talk to you for a bit after you show off that flexibility.

•Knives is fascinated by the way your skin can change colors. (don't mention that he can turn a lovely shade of red, he gets all huffy.) but, anyways, he loves examining your face, watching as your face gets darker with certain things he does. (also likes seeing your facial expressions. humans are so expressive..) he also likes seeing your bruises and watching as the bruise changes colors over time as it heals. you joked one day that you could give him a bruise of his own that he can watch. he didn't like the joke (he prefers to give you (consensual) bruises.)

•now let's get into reverse Isekai for a bit.

•Knives does not fucking understand social media lmao. why the hell do you have to tell people you've never met what you did or thought that day and why are so many people interested? why do people do stupid things for views??

•he hates online discourse and always tunes you out when you try to talk about something that happened online. he doesn't care and thinks it's stupid.

•do NOT let him find out about stan culture or chronically online people. he's gonna lose any faith he had in humanity again. I wouldn't worry about that too much though. he has zero online presence, never uses social media outside of YouTube and even then he only uses it to watch documentaries or how to videos.

•memes confuse him a lot, especially how fast they come and go. you don't even know how to explain them to him. "why is this picture of a man just standing so funny?" "it just is? I don't know either." how do you even explain memes and internet culture to someone who's never been on the internet lol

•Knives thinks you're really weird if you've got a skewed sense of humor where something dramatically falling over makes you laugh(thinking of that waffle video.) he watches those types of videos with a straight face and when the video ends he just stares at you, wondering if you seriously think that's funny.

•he hates those youtube poop and deepfried videos. not only does he find them stupid and doesn't understand them, but they just bother his ears.

•bonus: Vash thinks the circadian rythym is pretty neat and that some people just know when to wake up. it took Vash a while to develop one, or at least, something like that since he doesn't technically need sleep. it'll never quite be the same though since he doesn't exactly get tired like humans do. it took decades for that type of tiredness to become present, but even still, he doesn't need it to survive.

[heckling-hydrena]

when it comes to trans dragons I literally don't know where to start because I just assign genders to these things based on vibes alone and like half of them end up nonbinary, but I present you with these 6 Beasts because their strong transgender power stood out to me as I scoured through my lair.

names + little lore snippets under the cut! content warning for internalized ableism (in regards to a fantasy illness) in the second to last one.

first we have Magdalene! she was a dream dragon for a long time and I was so happy when I finally got her. she was my avatar dragon for a good while. again I decided she was trans based on vibes alone but also the name of her skin is a SOPHIE reference (rest in peace legend ❤️) so like I couldn't not make her trans. she's a minor goddess of life in the most traditional sense. spring and flowers, that type of deal.

then there's Luci(fer) (yes she named herself that. people who hear her full name get confused when they find out that she's not associated with the deviltown demons.) she's a member of the blastpowder bandits and Monty's right hand. she's perceived as the Normalest of the group but that's mostly her inexpressive fae nature working in her favor for once. she loves bombs and explosions just as much as the rest of them, she just prefers making the bombs and then watching other people use them from the sidelines. she enjoys planning and organizing and just generally writing shit down. the type to always walk around with a notebook and pen in her hands like a little nerd.

Odessa... doesn't have much going for her lore-wise right now but she's in a shitty band with Bremen and Sandwaste called "Vengeful Desert Spirits Calling Your Name in the Night" (the like. 3 people who actually enjoy their music simply refer to them as Desert Spirits.) Odessa here plays the drums! in her enthusiasim she has accidentally launched multiple drumsticks at people (mostly Sandwaste.)

Omen is the world's Wettest Most-Depressedest private investigator. jazz noir music inexplicably starts playing when he's around. he has the ability to spontaneously manifest a glass of whiskey in his hand even though he doesn't drink. utterly incapable of solving any case that isn't some convoluted unsolvable 30 year old triple murder cold-case. weird charged energy with every suspect he talks to. permanent face of disinterest and a fucked right knee. a romantic at heart.

Cessair... is a very unhappy dragon. his mother is a very powerful combat mage who wanted a mini-me and someone to pass her knowledge down to. but Cessair couldn't be her daughter, and they couldn't be her successor. around when they were 15 they started showing the first sings of an illness that would end up rendering any attempts to externalize their magic very, very dangerous. he refuses to give up on magic, though. he thinks doing so would cement him as a failure and a disappointment to his family. they see their limitations as a personal failing and a weakness to be overcome, no matter the means or the cost, and leave their home at 19 in search of said means. he deeply craves community and companionship but his self-loathing and general dissatisfaction with his life make him snappy and standoffish. they will, eventually, find their happy ending, and learn not to push themself so far over their limits. but the road to get there will not be easy.

moving on from that downer, our final dragon(??) is:

One. well the guy this thing killed and stole the body of was trans and the shade doesn't really have gender so. diversity win!

[wingsdippedingold]

The purpose of the mating bond (TL;DR at the bottom)

I was thinking about the mating bond (and consequently how much I hate it) and I started wondering about it's purpose. Apologies: This is barely organized rambling.

Our current explanations are: to create the most powerful offspring, and that the mates are perfect equals. We know its not romance since there are examples of unhappy mates so I'm ignoring that.

Rhysand suspected he was Feyre's mate while she was still human, aka before she was a high fae, and they were still mated after she was. This means that the bond doesn't care about physical bodies, which would play a part in powerful children since fae are just supposed to be so much better than humans in EVERY WAY. Therefore it had nothing do with offspring, but knowing SJM Nyx is gonna be even more powerful as an adult because her favs need to be worshipped like gods.

If the purpose was to create the most powerful offspring that wouldn't even work logistically? The two most powerful beings being mated would work, but everyone after that, not so much. Its kinda weird to explain so imagine 4 fae, their power ranking aligning with their number. 1 & 2 are mated because as the most powerful, their children would then also be the most powerful. With Rhys logic, 3 & 4 would be mated. But 3 & 4 child would be much less powerful than a 1 & 3 child, so that mate bond wouldn't produce the most powerful offspring. Of course the mother could just go by pairing the next most powerful people, but we've seen examples where even then that's not what happens. Of course unique combinations of genes could lead to powerful kids without the need of powerful parents, but considering Rhysand's high lord father was mated with an average Illyrian mother, that doesn't always seem to be the case.

Okay so power aside, the other explanation is that the two mates are two equal halves. Sure? I guess? But that seems to be a product of being mated rather than the reason. Rhysand's parents had huge power imbalances and their personalities didn't mesh. Sure, you could be equal without compatible personalities but power and livelihood? I find it hard to believe.

The mating bond is so inconvenient for it to be a reasonable way of getting any offspring produced in the first place. Rhysand and Cassian were both mated to people from the human world, of course those humans came to the fae world so their mating bond lines up with fate. BUT. They went 500 years without a mate just to end up with 20 yr old women as mates? Same thing with Rhysand's parents. A 900 YEAR OLD MAN AND A 19 YEAR OLD WOMAN. WHAT THE FUCK. High fae rarely leave their courts too, and considering everyone supposedly has a mate, most of their mates would be in other courts, whom they'll never meet. The fate argument that works for Feysand and Cassian fails here, because a mating bond being found is so incredibly rare (except for the fact all three archeron sisters found theirs) that it has nothing to do with fate and circumstance.

Nessian. I hate it with my entire heart. Their ENTIRE romance plot was Cassian domesticating Nesta. He consistently abused and ridiculed her, but Oh! They're mates! So it's out of love! Get out. Pack your 50 shades of domestic violence and get out. That man bitch laughed at her as she fell down the stairs, locked her in a house, insulted and made fun of her regularly, and lusted after her emaciated body while she was clearly struggling. He does not give a fuck about Nesta. They were happy at the end! SO WHAT. That doesn't change the way he acted. She kept pushing away his advances and he didn't not care. The same goes for Feysand but I've already discussed them enough.

Considering all of this, I have come to a conclusion!

SJM used the mating bond as an excuse to not have to write compelling romances that actually make sense and instead a fast track to poor fairy porn and her kinks.

[cascodedtech]

"Ah well, always did want to go his own way. Always asking damn fool questions, too."

Okay, I'm trying to get my thoughts together here, but let me see if I can verbalize why this line bothers me so much.

I generally take the final fifteen at face value (although I absolutely love reading any and all meta/theories about it). I think Aziraphale believes that he can make a difference, and I think he honestly thought making Crowley an angel again was a good thing, not because he doesn't think Crowley is good (he tells Crowley such on multiple occasions), but because I think there is a part of him that believes that Crowley doesn't like to cause misery for humanity and this would give him an out. I don't think he really considered how it would sound, and I think he was honestly surprised by Crowley's reaction. And I think that sometimes Aziraphale uses Crowley as a moral compass to some extent, not in the sense of Crowley knowing what is good, but Crowley knowing the shades of grey and what doesn't feel right, which, in part is why he was reconsidering going to heaven when The Metatron came back into the bookshop.

HOWEVER, this line from The Metatron always bothered me. We've already established that Crowley and The Metatron know each other, and are familiar enough that Crowley recognizes him right away (I don't think this is just because of the trial video he watched in heaven, because Saraqeal saw it too and didn't recognize him, and Michael and Uriel also interacted with him during the trial and neither recognized him).

I think that whatever rank Crowley was in heaven (I have my own theories), it involved close work or interaction with The Metatron on a fairly regular basis, and I sometimes wonder if The Metatron didn't have something to do with his fall (I acknowledge that Neil has told us Crowley is an unreliable narrator, so I don't think he fell by "accident"). From what I can remember about biblical lore, Lucifer (and his angels) fell, not because he questioned God, but because he refused to put humanity above his love for God. Crowley, from what I can tell, is the only angel who *questioned* God. He actually does love humanity more than God, so he actually really didn't go against God's will in heaven, per se.

So, when The Metatron tells Aziraphale that Crowley always did want to go his own way and how he was always asking questions, it implies some kind of familiarity, and I don't think it was necessarily just by reputation.

Consider that in 1x01, Gabriel didn't even really seem to know who Crowley was (which always struck me as a little weird), despite the fact that we know Crowley fought in the war in heaven, and logic would posit that "The Supreme Archangel" would have also fought in the war. And sure, there were probably hundreds or thousands of participants in the war, but Crowley is well-known enough that he is recognizable to both demons and angels that he hasn't interacted with for thousands of years.

...

I've lost the thread now. Uh, to sum up, I think Crowley was important and powerful in heaven. I don't think God is who made Crowley fall. I think The Metatron did it or played some role in it, and I think that he knew Crowley would never go back to heaven, but needed to sever the connection between Crowley and Aziraphale because he knew that Crowley would know something was going on in heaven, when Aziraphale might not (I think Aziraphale knows heaven is toxic, but I think he is willing to go back because he truly believes he can make a difference *for humanity* by being in charge, I just don't think he's actually going to be in charge, and Crowley knows that but Aziraphale doesn't).

Anyway, I have no idea if this stream of consciousness makes any sense to anyone else, but, I'm very interested to see if we will get more heaven flashbacks/minisodes in Season 3, particularly of The Battle and Crowley's fall.

[wuxianxkexing]

Mu Qing x Reader: Stop Fucking With My Cat Part 4

-------------------------------------------------

Y/N stood bleary-eyed in front of the gates to Ling Wen's palace. A few of the early bird Heavenly Officials happily stood around talking to each other but Y/N absolutely wanted no part of it this early in the morning. She carefully kept her distance, not caring at all if the others found it rude. They were the rude ones for being so loud this early. Plus Mu Qing was also there in the very front of the line, though he wasn't really talking to anyone. Y/N wasn't really in the mood to get yelled at again. Last night Xie Lian had told her that Mu Qing's cultivation path valued purity over all else and that he probably hated her for putting that demonic collar on his cat. As if a collar that can allow cats to speak would turn a regular cat into a demon just because a demon wore it. But whatever, plenty of people didn't understand things like that. Besides, what pet owner in their right mind wouldn't want a pet that could talk back to them? It was a shame that the collar didn't work the way that Y/N wanted it to.

The crowd of waiting Heavenly Officials slowly grew larger as Y/N stole glances at Mu Qing. What a pain in the ass the entire thing was and yes, it was entirely her fault, but was it really /that/ bad? It's not like she was going to steal anything from his palace, and she had been playing with Echo for weeks. She only got bold enough to go into Mu Qing's garden because Echo would meow at her incessantly and walk back and forth until one day she followed him. He obviously wanted to play in the garden with her, and while they would always meet in front of Mu Qing's palace gates in the beginning it eventually became their ritual that Y/N would just go into the garden to find Echo whenever she passed by. It was like that cat had an extra sense and would come out meowing at her indignantly if she ever tried to pass by without saying hello. It was kind of weird actually, but also super cute. Y/N smiled and giggled to herself.

Unbeknownst to Y/N Mu Qing was also stealing glances at her. He frowned seeing her smile and giggle to herself. She didn't seem to feel guilty at all. Demonic cultivators were universally not morning people, preferring to operate at night and avoid the sun much like real demons. A side effect of their cultivation. But that explained why she was to the side underneath the shade of a tree even though she should be further up in line than she currently was. Several Heavenly Officials had already cut line in front of her. He tsked to himself. She was probably just trying to delay the inevitable. The doors to Ling Wen's palace finally opened and Mu Qing was the first to stroll inside. He rolled his eyes as he thought he would get his merits from her one way or another.

Y/N remained outside lost in thought, never realizing that the palace had finally opened. It wasn't until she felt a firm kick to her shin that she came back to reality with a startled frown and furrowed brows. The offender was none other than Mu Qing, who stood in front of her looming down with a cold expression. Y/N resisted the urge to slap him. He'd probably go crying to Ling Wen to make her owe even more merits to him. Instead she gave him a forced small smile and greeted him politely. "Good morning General Xuan Zhen."

"We have a mission together in the southeastern swamps." Y/N died on the inside but kept her expression blank.

"Oh, ok! What do we have to do?"

"There's a large village where an abnormal amount of children keep on disappearing into the swamps, never to be seen again. So far there have been 15 victims, all children old enough to know better than to wander too far. For some reason Ling Wen thinks that I need your help." Mu Qing rolled his eyes in disgust.

"She probably just wants you to train me." Y/N smiled and waved her hand in an attempt to placate him. "I am still rather new so she doesn't know exactly what I can and can't handle yet. Thank you for coming to assist me." Mu Qing rolled his eyes again. Obviously her attempt at flattery hadn't exactly hit the mark. Y/N was pretty sure that actually was the reason Ling Wen assigned them both to this mission but for some Mu Qing seemed to think otherwise. Y/N briefly wondered if maybe General Xuan Zhen wasn't as powerful as he was rumored to be, but quickly dismissed the thought. He must just have the habit of taking things the wrong way. With the length of time he has been in the Heaven's and the number of temples he has there is no way that General Xuan Zhen doesn't live up to his reputation. Humans are too fickle to continue to worship a God that doesn't deliver. "Well I'm ready when you are."

"Let's get this over with then." Mu Qing crossed his arms and scowled. He began to lead the way to the outskirts of heaven and Y/N followed quietly. Welp this is probably going to be a fun mission, Y/N thought as she silently rolled her eyes to herself.

What a bunch of bullshit, Mu Qing thought to himself as he paced ever faster to the outskirts. This brat owes me merits and yet I'm having to help her get them for me? What kind of sense does that even make? Fucking Ling Wen. He stopped abruptly at the end of the Heaven's and pointed downwards. "That is the place we are going." Y/N peered over the edge and confirmed the spot before jumping down. Mu Qing froze with his mouth agape and watched in horror as Y/N fell. Technically yes, that was one way to get down but what the fuck?! Heaven's help me, Mu Qing prayed desperately before drawing a teleportation array. He wasn't going to follow in that idiots path.

Mere seconds later Mu Qing appeared next to a bruised and battered Y/N who was laying like a dead person on the ground. Her robes were torn and dirty and bloody. "Have fun?" Mu Qing smirked. Y/N looked up at Mu Qing with an incredulous look. That bastard looked perfect! "We normally use teleportation arrays just so you know. No wonder Ling Wen wanted me to train you, but I'm afraid you might be untrainable since you apparently have no sense."

Y/N grunted as she struggled to right herself. Mu Qing merely watched her struggle with laughter in his eyes. What a gentleman, Y/N bitterly thought. After righting herself she examined the state of her robes. Her left sleeve had a long tear in it from getting caught on something during her descent and she had a few blood spatters from a shallow wound, but nothing too bad. Y/N was red from embarrassment. Xie Lian always jumped down from the Heaven's like that, he never told her that they could use teleportation arrays to descend! But she wasn't about to admit that to Mu Qing. "I'm alright, that was fun!" Y/N tried to sound like it actually was fun but she wasn't able to hide how bitter she actually was. Mu Qing snorted and began to walk away, leaving Y/N to painfully limp after him. Normally Mu Qing would be a bit more sympathetic but Y/N was a martial Goddess, she should be able to walk it off, plus she did it to herself. Like he expected after a few hundred yards Y/N's gait returned to normal and they quietly made their way to the village.

During her days as a cultivator Y/N became very used to striking up conversations with strangers to investigate incidents, so she was kind of miffed when Mu Qing cut her conversation with a middle aged street vendor selling radishes short and verbally ushered her along. As they made their way through the large village Mu Qing shut down every attempt she made to gather information. How were they supposed to solve these disappearances if she couldn't gather information? It was a struggle to keep her temper down. Even though Mu Qing was the leader of this mission and probably had a plan he didn't bother to inform her of them and Y/N was used to having free reign to do whatever she wanted. It would be one thing if he wanted to do the interrogating himself but he made no attempt to do so either. It felt to Y/N like they were goofing off on a stroll rather than taking their mission seriously. Y/N's mind went back to Mu Qing's previous comment 'For some reason Ling Wen thinks I need your help'. Maybe Mu Qing slacked off on missions and he did need her help to keep on track. It would make sense with the lie she told Ling Wen the day she first met Mu Qing. Y/N crossed her arms and sighed. She wasn't opposed to slacking off, but she also believed that they should do that /after/ they defeated whatever was plaguing this village. Lives were at stake, and more importantly the lives of innocent /children/ were at stake. She glared at Mu Qing, who apparently felt her disapproving stare because he turned around and glared right back at her. "What is your problem?" He demanded.

"When are we going to actually get started on this mission? We can look at the village after we defeat whatever is here. We need to start interrogating people here to figure out what is going on."

Mu Qing rolled his eyes. "We don't need to interrogate anyone. I have a temple here, all we need to do is go there and listen to the prayers from my followers for a while. It will be a lot more efficient than seeking out random people who may or may not know anything. My followers will naturally tell me everything that they know." Y/N's face lighted up at his explanation. Of course! She felt kind of bad for doubting him earlier. General Xuan Zhen was known to be very efficient.

"Oh! Where is your palace?"

"Not far from here." Mu Qing turned and continued to lead the way. They finally came to his palace on the outskirts of the village and Y/N was honestly kind of impressed. It was a very attractive looking palace and the statue inside looked exactly like him! Y/N herself didn't have any proper temples but instead numerous small shrines that people typically kept inside their homes for personal use. It was the way that demonic Gods and Goddesses were traditionally worshipped. Mu Qing commanded her to make herself invisible to mortals and Y/N complied. He sat himself down right in front of his statue, invisible to the eyes of mortals, and began listening to the numerous silent prayers of his worshippers. Y/N grew bored of standing there watching him so she began to wander around his temple, touching things that she probably shouldn't but they were all so pretty. Offerings of gold, incense and fruit filled this temple. Y/N was kind of jealous. His worshippers here even gave him pets that the temple housed and cared for, and once finding that Y/N didn't leave the area until Mu Qing came to find her. She was petting a pretty brown tabby cat when Mu Qing kneeled down and completely stole the attention of the cat. To mortal onlookers the cat probably looked like it was doing typical weird cat things, and a couple thought that the cat must be asking for pets and came to pet the cat as well, not knowing that their God was right there petting it with them. While petting the cat Mu Qing filled Y/N in on what he had discovered. The children who had went missing only had 3 things in common. They were all from impoverished families, they all loved the swamp, and they all disappeared somewhere in the north end. With this information they finally knew where to start looking!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's the link for part 3!

[blackraged]

MORTAL KOMBAT 1 Thoughts Pt2.

[❌❌contains SPOILERS❌❌]

Continuation from yesterday

Chapter 6

They keep switching between Bromance and Romance for Kenshi and Johnny. Which one is it now???

I adore Johnny being protective of Kenshi, and Kenshi holding onto him while walking.

The way reptile switched from human to lizard, makes it look like he is not actually shape shifting, merely casting an Illusion to seem human.

Nitara is hot and all, love the design, but....who thought it was a great idea to have Megan Fox voice her? No shade but the voice acting is pretty awful.

Kenshi trying to run in with Sento but is pushed back in a comedical way by Ermac SENT ME. I felt so bad but I couldn't stop laughing.

Sento activating in this fight was pretty cool, I will not lie.

Not Jerrod shouting out for Sindel😭😭

Chapter 7

I wonder why Liu Kang didn't get fully rid of Krusty Kronika. Just because he is playing god now doesn't mean she's any harmless. But also wasn't Kronika fully destroyed?

Lesbians

Johnny and Kung Lao trying to knock out Quan Chi in the middle of the street while dressed up in those carneval suits was a sight for sore eyes.

NOT THE SIDE KICK PREDICTIONS WITH REPTILE AND KENSHI LITERALLY FLYING IN PLSSS

This entire chapter is full of comedic bits, and I'm here for it. We need more stuff like this.

Chapter 8

I like the implication that some things are inevitable, no matter how you think you shaped things differently.

I enjoy Geras and Liu Kang s friendship a lot.

So Liu didn't intend for Kronika to be alive in this timeline after all.

"Father" Is smoke now Bi-Han and Kuais brother??Was he adopted adopted??

Aight but am I the only one who thinks Smoke looks like Elon Musk? Like, for real,, it's freaking me out.

I know Smoke is voiced by Yuri Lowenthal but I keep hearing Troy Baker.

That manipulative parallel from when Shang Tsung was a Merchant still was very clever

Chapter 9

Okay crazy theory, but what if Kronika isn't Kronika, but Alt Shang Tsung in disguise???

Why am I not surprised by the betrayal. Still having hopes that Bi-Han is just bluffing to save Kuai.

Kuai being out for blood is really entertaining. That melting sword scene was so damn cool too.

Scorpion being affected and literally burned by heat somehow doesn't make sense to me. Especially with Subzero seemingly not being harmed by frost and ice. Also Havik recovered from that melt off really fcking fast. Bowing down to you, king.

Bi-Han literally showing up from behind the cold wind was such an amazing entrance. I was even jumpscared a little.

5bucks that new course is the Shirai Ryu

Chapter 10

If the second timeline the ending to aftermath where Shang Tsung won?? If so, that is the coolest decision NRS has ever made so far.

Li Mei is so pretty. I adore her so much.

Have y'all noticed how weird the run animation in this game is. It's so awkward and looks half-assed.

Mileena is such a good fighter but I hate how much she is being babied. I know it's because of Tarkat, but it's kinda silly.

Lesbians

I am very amazed with the character design improvement in this game. I thought MK11 was already damn pretty, but MK1 really put the icing on top. There are so many fine details in the environment and outfits, I am eating this up like desert.

Will hopefully finish the rest of the game tomorrow though! Last and Final thoughts coming in soon!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

For the ship game: Leopika and Hisoillu! I don't know your ship taste well so I'm just hitting a couple other big HxH ships hrjfjkjkdlgdfk hope you don't mind

Oh, I don't mind at all, Percy! :)

Hisoillu is... I mean... they are kind of sort of engaged (?) so. Yeah, it makes sense. Also, I can think of no one else in the universe who should be subjected to close proximity with these two on a regular basis hdfhbsdhj. Congrats, you're perfect for each other, just never involve anyone else in what you've got going on ever. Truthfully, I'm kind of indifferent towards it as a ship. It makes sense to me, but it's not something I actively seek out in fanworks I suppose. It's just, yeah, Hisoka and Illumi are together. Happy for them lol. I guess it's mostly because I think murder is their love language and I just... can't see them being romantic with each other in a lot of the more typical ways that characterize many fanworks. Do they want to kill each other, or are they into each other? The answer is both - the murder is an intrinsic aspect of the "being into each other" hdjfbvhd. That said, I think they have a pretty healthy respect for each other, due to probably being evenly matched, I'd say. I think Hisoka genuinely finds Illumi good company, and Illumi readily has fairly casual conversations with Hisoka. Their dynamic is kind of fascinating actually, and I do honestly think they're kind of perfect for each other. Diversity win??? Loss??? I'm honestly not sure lmao

Leopika :') I love the potential for them. Sadly, they don't have all that many interactions in the canon manga, so I would ordinarily say it doesn't make a huge amount of sense, but then we have the 99 anime and the radio skits who seem determined to ship them so hfbgjdhj I have no clue. I'm weird about this ship because I tend to alternate between "yeah they're cute" and "oh god. oh god. them. AAARGGHHH" and experiencing emotional damage hahaha. I am like this with no other ship. It's very strange to me.

The one thing is that I'm extremely picky with Kurapika characterization, in any art or story. If Kurapika doesn't read right to me, I just can't suspend my disbelief. I'm really not big on the "mom and dad" characterization, though no shade to anyone who is.

Peak Leopika dynamic to me takes into account not just Leorio's concern and Kurapika's walls, but also their mutual stubbornness and Kurapika's hilarious tendency to annoy Leorio on purpose. To me, I've always felt that he likes Leorio because he's a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and values individual lives so strongly, so he kind of checks that he hasn't changed that much when they see each other. I think it's kind of relieving for Kurapika, in a way, to know that Leorio will always be himself - "same old Leorio" kind of deal.

I also think Kurapika is just a little shit hjgbvsjdh

But no, I love that Leorio clearly eases up some of the pressure Kurapika feels, and seems to make him feel better about things- that's probably half the reason he keeps him at arms length. I think affectionate bickering is their love language. I also wish people noticed a little more that it's Kurapika who actually seriously initiated friendship between them, not Leorio. In most cases in the Hunter Exam, it was Kurapika approaching Leorio and showing a clear interest in sticking with him and helping him pass and achieve his dream. I think it's incredibly meaningful that one of the first people Kurapika meets and takes a liking to is this guy who wants to become a doctor - the doctor that Kurapika had left in the first place to go looking for. Anyways, I'm really looking forward to see what role Leorio will play in the current arc (just to have more Leorio, honestly, pls Togashi I miss him...), as I'm sure he will eventually find out about Emperor Time and OH BOY I'm sure that will go over well.

Erm. Sorry for rambling. I had a lot to say apparently...

[girlbowser]

that intermission was kinda sad because those kids looked at their guardians trying to be better and are like "What's your angle"

And it isn't even a change come from introspection and genuinely changing, their guardians got specifically replaced by different people.

God, the angst that's gonna cause them if they figure it out

there's a few big things about bro-coded that are worth noting.

one - obviously, this is operating under the thematic consequences of Act 1's reality. (really good post that informs a LOT of the philosophy of bro-coded, worth a read.) act 1's Earth is not a real place, it's not filled with real people. Early John, when Rose starts modifying his house, cannot give less of a shit about his sense of reality rapidly unravelling -- his sense of reality did not really exist as a coherent thing in the first place, because it's just a series of symbols, a series of ideas.

(click READ MORE, i. ended up writing a LOT)

part of that is that the guardians are ALSO just ideas, and not people. i can't find who said it, but there's a critique of act 6 that always stuck out to me. Bro Strider was never meant to be dave's biological father. he was meant to be a metaphor for the weird/aloof cool/shitty older brother that you don't see. he doesn't have a room, or a legal job, because it doesn't need to make sense -- he's dave's perception of a person.

like, the point that post was trying to make is that there were several evolutions of who/what bro was. there's the initial state, where he isn't a person -- he's an absent, aloof older brother, with hobbies you don't understand, who you worship nonetheless. then later in act 4 he becomes a cartoon ninjadad, throwing a baby across a roof in a way that i think was still not meant to be interpreted literally, but... it was a huge change. suddenly bro actually HAS an impact on dave's life. suddenly it matters what dave's home life is like.

then by act 6, all of these conflicting shades of bro coalesced under the rules of act 6's reality. and act 6's reality is very literal, y'know? you're meant to find tragedy in the alpha guardians. you're meant to mourn humanity on the alpha earth -- we spend SO much more time expounding upon humanity's fate on alpha earth than on beta earth. the boots-on-the-ground reality MATTERS, all of the sudden, and so Bro Strider coalesces into a really, really, really, REALLY shitty person.

and i think that that's compelling, if done right! it can be good. but you have to unpack those contradictions and layers.

bro strider was not, initially, a person.

and that's what bro-coded explores.

i think i forgot to use more numbers but whatever. yeah.

point two is basically just that the beta guardians aren't people. not in the way the alpha kids are, not in the way the alpha guardians are (since they're based on characters we spent 4k pages getting to know). and definitely not people on the level of Emma or Viri, who are real people from the real world. homestuck is a game of contrasts, and bro-coded is HUGELY interested in exploring those contrasts.

throwing all of those contradictory iterations of Bro (the ideatic Bro Strider, a post-game Dirk Strider, a real human being who's a dirk kinnie) into one body?

now you've got some interesting tension.

the other big part of this tension is that like. viri and emma are very much different kinds of homestuck fan, in the way that caliborn and calliope are, right? emma IS very much into that ideatic, early MSPA iteration of Homestuck's world. she likes bro strider because she likes that version of Homestuck, she liked it when he was in play because he was cool as shit and a fantastic symbol. she never really gave much thought to his abusive tendencies because she didn't consider the world under the lens of, like, realistic consequences that Act 6 applies. (this is NOT to say anything CLOSE to "all early homestuck fans are abusers" -- it's that Emma Specifically is letting a toxic closemindedness cloud her vision.)

and like, both girls have both perspectives inside of them! sure, viri's the kind of person who'd use blorbos in her narration unironically. she's huge on the alpha kids, and on thinking about shipping, and all the tumblr calliope stuff you'd associate with her. she thinks her understanding of rose would help her win her over. but it doesn't. because her worldview is also incomplete without Mom Lalonde, who IS that same exact extremely symbolic persona that Emma likes. and on the flipside, Emma's conscience is being driven by post-act-6 Dirk Strider, an Alpha Kid, a character TONS of people hate. viri loves Dirk, but Emma's indifferent... at least until it matters.

both girls have an act 1 guardian, barely a person, more of a symbol, in their heads. both girls have an act 6 strilonde, a fully realized character, an angst machine dialed up to 12, chattering away in their heads.

for all that emma's chapters are sharp and quick and cutting and focused, and viri's chapters are slower and meandering and talky and more sentimental...

emma and viri are two sides of the same person. it's a self insert.

emma and viri are both me.

in conclusion i kinda didn't answer your question and just talked about emma and viri forever asjlfdgsdghsdsg BUT it was fun to talk about some of my ideology stuff for bro-coded!!!!

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 절대 그이/My Absolute Boyfriend

My Absolute Boyfriend is the 2019 Korean live-action adaptation of the Watase Yuu manga "Absolute Boyfriend." (There are two other adaptations, one Taiwanese and one Japanese.) It tells the story of a woman who has just broken up with her celebrity boyfriend, and the robot who becomes a real boy by falling in love with her.

(And yes, the reason we started watching it was because of Yeo Jingoo, since the tantalizing prospect of "that guy who played Han Juwon, playing a robot boyfriend" was too amazing to pass up.)

I need to note right off the bat: I am not usually a consumer of bippy k-dramas, romcoms, or het romance in media in general. No shade to anyone who likes these thing; they're just not my regular cup of tea. So if your tastes are akin to mine, you may have looked at the poster and been like, hm, no thank you.

Thus I am here to try and sell you on it even if you are not a fan of these genres.

This show is so unwatched that (as far as I can tell) there is nothing for it on AO3. There are a mere eight hits for the manga, Zettai Kareshi | Absolute Boyfriend, but there's nothing at all for this adaptation. This is an absolute crime, for reasons I will detail in the forthcoming five reasons to watch (above and beyond the simple pleasure of watching Yeo Jingoo be a handsome goober, though that remains a serious point in its favor):

1. Balls entirely to the wall

You know those Tumblr posts where someone comments and is like, at no point could I have predicted what the next word in that sentence would be? Yeah, that, only the sentence is the show.

This show is absolutely bonkers. It is absolute storytelling mayhem. It is gleefully head-clutching weird. Someone told it that girls like exactly three things -- cute boys in adorable outfits, cute boys with their shirts off, and cute boys in Situations -- and it is ready to deliver.

I could tell you what the plot of the show is, or at least I could try, but that wouldn't convey the sheer volume of shenanigans it gets up to. I feel like every time it had a flashback montage (set to one of its six licensed pop songs), I was like, oh yeah, that happened.

The thing, too, is that it's so self-aware. This show knows precisely what it is, and it's having fun with it. The acting is often melodramatic, but obviously very consciously so. I'm not going to say the show never takes itself seriously (because it does -- see my point #5), but it never doesn't know exactly what it is.

Browsing the MyDramaList page, I can see that a lot of viewers had lukewarm feelings on the show as a whole. (Normally I don't make the mistake of reading the comments, but since this is such a non-property in English-speaking fandom, I had to go find out what the hell.) And yeah, I can imagine that if you came into this expecting a more straight-faced entry in the genre, what you get could be confusing and alienating.

If you watch this, take off your nitpicker's hat. There are many, many points that do not make sense. Just go with it. Let the cute boys take off their shirts. Kiss a robot. Embrace chaos.

2. A++ Girlfriend

Eom Dada is great. She's just so weird. I love her and I absolutely understand why those two boys want to get with her.

She is a special effects makeup artist who runs her own three-person team that specializes in sci-fi/horror properties. One of the first things we see her doing is mixing up a bunch of different types of fake blood, because, hey, a lot of different stunt people are going to die today, and you can't just use one type of blood for everybody!

She is a dadgumn professional, is what she is.

What she isn't, however, is a pick-me, not-like-the-other-girls girl. Several times, she gets dressed up real cute and femme, and she never expresses negativity toward her more girly-girl friends. It's not that she's rejecting femininity so much as that her vision of femininity is big enough to include creating beautiful fake severed body parts. When someone describes a female character as "quirky," I cringe reflexively. But that's what she is! She's got quirks! She's a nice, normal girl who is also a big weirdo.

Since I did go read the comments, I found out pretty quickly that a lot of viewers hate her. Part of this, I'm sure, is just your generic vitriol you see aimed at any woman in a show, because holy fuck, we sure do hate women.

But I think part of it may come from how she's not asking "how high?" every time those boys tell her they'd like her to jump. There's some real viciousness out there toward women that turn down men, epecially from other women. Without getting too much into psychoanalysis about it, an awful lot of hate gets directed from other women toward the female ex-/partners of desirable men, much of which comes from the terrible assumption that if you were in her position, you'd be appropriately grateful! You'd treat that boy right! That lucky bitch doesn't know how good she's got it!

...You see how that's bad, though, right? Like, really bad and toxic?

Eom Dada tells those boys "no" when she doesn't want what they're offering. She's realizes early on that setting yourself on fire to keep your partner warm is terrible, so she stops. She's going to make them wait until she wants it -- and if she never wants it, well, those boys just get to keep right on waiting!

Read me loud and clear: I'm not saying the only reason to dislike Eom Dada is misogyny. Sometimes you just don't like a character! It happens! It's legal! What I am saying, though, is that when you look at a lot of the hate toward her all at once, certain trends emerge, and they're more than a little bit ugly.

And I think that's unfair because she's an absolute pumpkin who deserves all the smooches and spicy noodles she wants.

3. ...Are they gonna kiss?

And by "they" here, I don't mean Girlfriend and Robot Boyfriend, who obviously smooch. I mean Robot Boyfriend and Ex-Boyfriend.

They hate one another! They make heartbreaking sacrifices for one another! They're vicious rivals! They team up to solve mysteries! They're incredibly suspicious of one another! They trust one another completely! What the actual hell is going on with these two? Because oh boy, the show itself sure doesn't know.

Their relationship yo-yos constantly throughout the length of the series. They're never friends, but they get weirdly close on several occasions, including rescuing one another from terrible predicaments. They also both seem fascinated with each other, above and beyond how they're competing for the affections of the same girl. The actors have some solid chemistry (much of it comedic) in their shared scenes. They're certainly not afraid to get right up in each other's personal space.

This isn't queerbaiting, it's not using gay as a punchline, it's ... something, that's for sure. And by that I mean, I don't know if I've ever seen a more powerful vindication of the principle that the optimal solution to every love triangle is a threesome.

This to me is one of the flaws of the show, that it has decided it must never acknowledge the strength of their independent bond outside of its place in the central love conflict, and to keep from doing so, it keeps nuking Ex-Boyfriend's character back to square one. He learns about love and trust and growth! ...and then we need the plot to have a which boy will she choose??? conflict, so he's got to unlearn all of that real quick so he can be a real dillhole again. If it didn't feel obligated to do that, things would get sexy fast, I'm just saying.

Here is the main reason I'm baffled that I'm getting no AO3 hits for this: These three would be one hell of a throuple. Where are my bisexual horndog fix-it fics where all three of them wind up sharing Ma Wangjoon's comically large bed?

4. Weirdly healthyish messages about romance?

I mentioned earlier that het romance in media is not my thing, and one of the main reasons it's not is how many just gross messages it delivers about normative gender roles and behaviors.

This show absolutely starts that way. Robot Boyfriend is raised on all your classic romcoms and taught that love is all about giving everything with no concern for your own well-being, while at the same time overriding all your partner's objections because you know what she really wants. When he first latches on to Eom Dada, he's kind of your classic overbearing comedy stalker who doesn't take no for an answer, because True Love.

And then ... he changes. He realizes that his romcom education is not going to help here, so he decides to figure out what kind of boyfriend she actually wants. Once he does that, he starts to figure out that he wants to be loved too. And that's when things get interesting.

He never stops being pretty forward about things, but it becomes far more playful when he's not pressuring her, just reminding her that the offer is still on the table. Eom Dada then responds by becoming clear about how she definitely wants to take this boy out for a spin -- just at her own pace, when she herself is ready for it.

It makes an interesting contrast to how, when she was with Ex-Boyfriend, all she wanted was for him to acknowledge her (which he wanted to do too, but couldn't, for absolutely bonkers reasons, because this show is just Like That). The two of them are still in love, but the show makes it clear that being in love doesn't mean you're going to be good together -- and it doesn't mean you have to forgive the bullshit your ex-partner pulled back when you were together.

But the love triangle isn't even the sole source of romance! There's a whole 'nother love ... triangle? quadrilateral? Whatever, you've also got Robot Boyfriend's charmingly goofy MIT-educated co-creator/trainer/big brother, who becomes the object of affection for at least two of the supporting characters.

My take on this is that Handsome Robot Hyung deserves the whole harem: the boss lady who can pick him up, the cute thirsty girl who does yoga, and the sweet gay-coded boy who is so impressed that he knows robots. (This is another tragic casualty of the NO HOMO attitude of the show, where that boy should be treated as a legitimate love interest, but can never be. But we know better!)

I'm used to seeing love triangles solved in one of three ways: 1) one point on the triangle gets demonized so significantly as to make the other one the obvious choice; 2) the eventually unchosen point gets given a Consolation Prize Significant Other so we don't fell too bad about how they didn't get chosen; or 3) one point dies or is otherwise removed from the narrative, letting the other two hook up without guilt. None of those things happen to either of these love polygons. Despite some genre-appropriate catty, melodramatic speed bumps, everything gets resolved in the manner of adults with reasonable amounts of emotional maturity. It's weirdly kind of nice.

(This isn't to say there's no toxic bullshit that slips in -- for instance, I still don't know what to make of that one arguing couple, or what Robot Boyfriend says to them. It's just much less than I expected.)

Your mileage may vary about the choices the show makes at the very end. It's not how I would have ended it, sure, but I also don't think it could have ended any other way -- remember, this is a show that never forgets what it is. It is contractually obligated by its genre conventions to keep certain narrative promises. If anything, I think it's interesting how much it feels it can get away with leaving hopeful yet unresolved, up to and including how many people are still comfortably single at the end of the show. Partnered romance isn't always the solution to everything! Sometimes you've got your career and you've got your friends, and now you've got some time to work on yourself! Maybe it won't always be that way, but it sure is right now. And that's great.

5. A surprisingly sophisticated meditation on memory and mortality (say that five times fast)

Real talk: In the past four months, I have lost a lot of people, places, and animals who were very dear to me, and had some close calls with a couple more. It has sucked exactly as much as you think it has.

So yeah, in the last few episodes, I blew through some tissues.

To a certain degree, it's exactly the kind of melodramatic tearjerker narrative you'd expect from a property like this. And let me tell you what, there is nothing wrong with getting a good, sappy cry going because of the overwrought dramas of fictional people. There are plenty of objectively mediocre shows and movies I put on because I know I'm going to be a blubbering wreck by the end.

This show, however, has the extra layer of interest that Robot Boyfriend is both Boyfriend and Robot. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say that having a guy designed to be reformatted every time a new person smooches him adds a whole lot of interesting layers to what counts as death and mourning.

Add that to how Eom Dada is still grieving the loss of her beloved father, who taught her everything she knew about her career, and you get some surprisingly moving little moments that creep in through the wacky hijinks that make up the rest of the show.

Look, it's nothing I'd ever teach in a Philosophy seminar, or anything so profound as that. But it's quiet and nice, and it has more depth than I expected, and it all hit me right in my tender little feels box. If that's the kind of thing you're open to, you could do a lot worse.

Thinking about giving this one a shot?

Viki's got the series in its full 40-episode run. (It's actually 20 hour-long episodes split in half because of commercial break rules, if you're wondering why it's sometimes Like That.) So does Tubi. I guess your choice then becomes which one's ads you'd rather sit through.

I think if you go into this with the attitude that you're just going to go with it all and laugh at how zany it is, you're in for a fine time. Whether or not you think it's good is up to your standards of quality. But it's hard to deny that it's a whole lot of fun.

And then get your ass to AO3 and give me some OT3! Mama needs these three cutie patooties to smooch~

[aromanticannibal]

Basil is very mentally ill (SPOILERS)

I just came to this realization in the tags of another post but how deeply fucked up mentally must little twelve year old Basil must have been for his first idea to cover up Mari's death to be a suicide.

Mari has a knee injury that stops her from playing softball - so it must be a pretty bad knee injury. And you know what knee injuries do to you? They make you fucking fall. What are the odds of Mari accidentally falling off the stairs and dying from it after tripping because of her injury (and she was probably tired because of her training for the recital on top of that)? Pretty high me thinks. Even without the knee injury, these are some tall stairs man. Maybe I'm just clumsy but I know I'd fall from that.

So what happened is that Basil saw his best friend made his sister fall from the stairs and she died from it. And his first thought was to... Stage it as a suicide. And not any type of suicide, stage it as Mari having hanged herself. @a-rock-nothing-else in who's tags I screamed already pointed out that it's really weird for a twelve year old boy at a time where Internet isn't that easily accessible to know how to tie a noose.

So. Basil is undeniably fucked in the head from a stupidly young age, which makes sense given his parents are canonically "too busy" to take care of him, and he lives with his grandma + he seemingly didn't have any friends before Aubrey befriended him. So the child is probably somewhat depressed in the first place, and may have been suicidal in the past, explaining his knowledge of how to tie a noose (this is from @/a-rock-nothing-else's post).

But on top of that, even when he's seemingly really happy with his friends, his immediate reaction to Mari dying isn't to either freeze up like Sunny or call for help, it's to frame the "murder" and even then, to frame it as a fucked up suicide that's probably hard to put in place (need to know how to make a noose, need to bring the dead weight of a 16 years old girl down the stairs and then up a rope, all that alone because Sunny isn't responsive) instead of a simple "She fell down the stairs!". Even giving most of the truth would probably have been simpler ("Sunny and Mari were arguing and Mari was tired and tripped and fell down the stairs!").

I have a theory/headcanon : Basil probably was traumatized by something in the past (his parents' absence, his lack of friends or potential bullying, even just his depression) and got the good ol' "You're so mature for your age!" symptom. In this state of mind, he felt he had to help Sunny, because Sunny is helpless and doesn't know what to do, and he's his best friend, so Basil has to do something. He's the only one who can do something. (He doesn't think of calling for help.) Then, his first thought is to stage a suicide, perhaps because he's seeing things through his own eyes too much : when you're suicidal, you might view committing suicide as an escape from everything (good) and think that the people around you will forget everything about it in a few days, maybe (very good). Basil doesn't think in terms of "this is going to break everyone's hearts and might traumatize many of my friends" first because when you're twelve you don't think like that, and second because he's seeing himself in Mari supposed suicide.

Of course, he realizes after how terrible of an idea this is, but well. He can't do anything now, and he knows he did something wrong.

I suppose after all this, when the adrenaline went back down, he realizes that Mari didn't kill herself or die out of nowhere, someone pushed her. And when you're a kid you probably struggle to see shades of grey a bit, so he can't possibly believe his best friend is the one who pushed Mari down the stairs and killed her, no - it was something behind him.

Anyway. I'm not blaming Basil for anything, just trying to understand why his brain works so fucking weird and projecting a bit. I also might have missed some canon points but heh. These are just random thoughts, this is the reason why I labeled this as a theory/headcanon.