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rose2jam · 3 years ago

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Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult, an essay by Rose Jam

So, let’s talk about Cults. Disclaimer: This is just information I’ve gathered over the years from my personal fascination with religious cults. I’m in no way an expert or a psychologist or whatever. This is just my personal understanding from the research I’ve done.

A cult is started when a wildly charismatic Leader feels like they have a purpose, a higher calling, or a mission to be fulfilled (or they could also just be an egomaniac). Maybe they really do feel like what makes them special comes directly from a higher power, be that God, or the Heir of Slytherin, but either way, this person has a pathological need to be worshiped, and they need followers in order to do that.

So, how does one obtain Followers easily? By finding the misunderstood misfits of society, and promising them something. The people who feel like no one else understands them, or their ideologies. But this Leader? This Leader GETS IT, MAN! The Leader understands them perfectly, vindicates them, and makes them promises along the way. Like, if they stick with the Leader, then not only will they finally be understood, but they themselves will also be revered. That they will rise above all of the others who have put them down for so long, and will come out on top as a superior being.

Any of this sounding familiar?

Charles Manson preyed on young people in the middle of the hippie movement, mostly women, who were feeling lost, lonely, and in need of guidance, or in terms of the men he recruited, seeking power over others. Not all of these people were poor or helpless; some of them came from middle class, or even rich homes and families. Yes, some of them came from broken homes, but all of them felt “broken” themselves, in some way. So Manson used their desires to have a family to draw them in. He then used LSD and other drugs to keep them under his control, and he created a manipulative environment where the members of his “family” felt they could never leave him, and if they didn’t follow his commands, something horrible would happen to them. I’m not going to go into full detail on the Manson Family Murders, but if you’re personally interested, check out the Podcast “Cults” on Spotify.

So back to basics, this Leader draws in Followers with flowery promises of community, power, family, or whatever. But once the Leader has that following, the terror will begin. Cult Leaders are usually master manipulators, and have completely brainwashed their followers into believing the “us vs them” mentality, that the outside world is evil, that the outside world will only harm them, that the outside world would never understand what they’re doing on the inside. And that the Leader is the only one who knows the truth, so they better stick with him. Or maybe the Leader has gaslit his followers so completely, that they become dependent on him for everything, to the point where they don’t know how they would possibly function without the Leader. Or, the Leader has created an environment that’s so hostile, that Followers are too afraid of what might happen to them if they tried to leave, or didn’t do what the Leader commanded. Typically, it’s a combination of all of the above. Destructive cults will either hurt others outside of their circle (The Manson Family, Sect of Nacozari), harm themselves (Heaven’s Gate, The Ant Hill Kids), or both (The People’s Temple, Aum Sinrikyo).

Now that I’ve laid this foundation, I’m going to tell you why it was practically inevitable that Severus Snape would join a cult.

Snape’s childhood ultimately laid the foundation for the mental state he would be in when he decided to join the Death Eaters. He grew up in an abusive household, where his father, the muggle, had his magical wife so thoroughly whipped, that she couldn’t (or chose not to) use magic to defend herself, or her son (1). Eileen had obviously told Severus about magic, about Hogwarts, about what a wonderful place it was, and what a wonderful gift magic could be. Severus also watched as Tobias beat the magic out of her. (I know it’s debated whether Tobias actually physically abused his family, but he certainly verbally/mentally/emotionally abused them, so the term “beat” could be used figuratively as well). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that Severus developed an extreme hatred of muggles with “burn the witch” mentalities from a very young age because of this.

Enter Lily, perhaps the only other magical person in his life besides his mother up to this point. He sees her using magic out in the open, perhaps recklessly, for fun, and he sees an opportunity to make a friend (and, admittedly, to be smarter than someone about something for a while). He was so eager to tell her all about magic, because getting to learn magic, and go to Hogwarts, has possibly been the only thing keeping him going in his young life. And now he’s made a friend, a real friend who doesn’t think he’s weird because he’s magical. Unlike Petunia, yet another muggle who makes fun of him for being weird (2). And Lily actually seems to like him back. For a kid who probably hasn’t received a lot of affection in his life, this is monumental. This friendship is everything. Why wouldn’t he love her?

So the time finally comes to go to Hogwarts. Severus gets to escape his abusive household, and finally has an opportunity to embrace magic for the first time in his life. But almost immediately, he’s met with a hic-up. Specifically, James Potter and Sirius Black. So Severus is no longer facing abuse exclusively from muggles who think he’s weird, but now he’s also getting it from other magical people who think he’s weird (3). And this started on the fucking TRAIN before he even GOT to Hogwarts. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t sour a kids dream right off the fucking bat. And then, when he finally gets there, he’s separated from his only friend, by being sorted into different houses (4). What a way for a life-long dream to be thoroughly dashed in less than 24 hours.

Let’s look at Snape’s Hogwarts experience. He’s a good student, and he pours himself into learning as much magic as possible, and at being the best he can possibly be, probably motivated by a desire to be better than what his Father thinks possible. During this time, he is regularly bullied and abused by the Marauders. Sometime before his 5th year, the Incident at the Shrieking Shack took place. It definitely sucks to have been so thoroughly fucking duped, and put into a life-threatening situation involving a goddamn werewolf (5). But perhaps even worse than that, the salt in the wound, was that no one fucking did anything about it (6). He saw Sirius and James and Remus get out of that situation without facing any sort of proper punishment (as in, they all still stayed at the school as opposed to being expelled like they DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN (At least Sirius should have been)). Dumbledore was looking out for the Marauders, but no one was looking out for Severus. On top of that, Severus isn’t allowed to TELL anyone about it, not even Lily. So, he goes through what was possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, and he can’t even tell anyone that it happened.

So, what sort of support system does Severus have during all this? He has Lily, sure (who literally told him he should be GRATEFUL to James, one of his abusers). But, what he really has, is Slytherin House (7). I’ll say it plainly: Severus was sorted into a house that was already full of existing cult members. McGonagall says in Sorcerer’s Stone that “Your house will be like your family” (she at least says it in the movies, I’m too lazy to get up and reference my books rn lol). So, Severus’ family, his support system, for 10 months out of every year, is a house that is already full to the brim with pureblood elitists with prejudiced ideals, who would absolutely vindicate Severus in his dislike for muggles. As a kid first getting sorted into the house, it’s obviously not unreasonable to become friends with the people you’re literally living with. His dorm mates became his family. So, when his dorm mates started to become Death Eaters… This is headcanon, I fully admit, but like, fuck, Severus didn’t have a lot of friends, and was probably already drifting apart from Lily. Do you really think he was going to tell the people he had to live with every single day, not to mention the only people that had been supporting him for years, to go fuck themselves for using Dark Magic? Especially when he was probably feeling like he was on the verge of thinking that their rhetoric made some sense?

On to Snape’s Worst Memory (8). At this point, he’s spent 5 years in Slytherin House, with fellow students who casually throw around the M word. He gets attacked by James and Sirius, he’s practically defenseless, and then the girl who he’d considered his closest friend for so long… has to force herself not to smile when he’s thrown upside down and exposed to everyone on the grounds. Sure, she was trying to defend him at first, but she also fucking nearly smiled at his humiliation, his pain, his abuse. So he hurls the one word that he knows is going to cut the deepest, that will hopefully hurt her as badly as she has hurt him. And it works.

Severus had been beaten down his entire life. By Muggles and Magic Folk alike. And finally, he’s betrayed by Lily, his last lifeline to the light. He betrayed her as well, of course. But he did try to show remorse. And she doesn’t forgive him (9), which was her prerogative, of course.

So. Who does he have left?

I’ve placed little (numbers) throughout my writing here. Each of those numbers denote the specific events that led Severus to becoming an angry young man, who hates muggles, hates (some) magic folk, and resulted in him feeling weak, helpless, and desperate. For what? For power, for a family, for a community. For a world where he is no longer the weird one. For a world where he’s respected, strong. For the world he thought he was going to be a part of, when he arrived at Hogwarts in his first year.

And it just so happens that this is the exact world that Voldemort is (allegedly) trying to create.

Severus Snape was angry, and vulnerable, and as such, he was practically the poster child for the type of person who would be susceptible to falling for a cult. Maybe he was recruited by his friends in Slytherin House. Maybe he was recruited directly. Either way, charismatic Tom Riddle came along, understood how he felt, where he was coming from, told him he deserved better, and offered him all of the things he never had in his life. And being at rock bottom, being the lowest of the low, to Severus it must have seemed like a miracle of an opportunity, or perhaps, like the only chance he had left.

Now, let me be extremely clear; everything I’ve written is not trying to EXCUSE Severus Snape for his actions. There is always a point where personal responsibility must come into play. Except for children born into cults or victims of kidnapping, nearly every person who has ever joined a cult has made the personal decision to join it. I’m just trying to express how unbelievably easy it is, for a Cult Leader to find people with damaged lives and low self-worth, to suck them in with promises of a fulfilling life and grandeur, and for those people to be easily swept up and brainwashed into believing that what they are doing is right. (Or that what they are doing is required, because the alternative is more horrifying.)

The type of people who joined the Death Eaters are the same type of people who joined Heaven’s Gate, or The People’s Temple, or yes, The Manson Family. Now, I’m just going to say, from my own personal point of view, I do not vilify anyone who’s ever joined a destructive cult. On the contrary, I feel sorry for them. Because most people who join a cult, don’t necessarily do it signing up for the… end result of what happened to them. Some of them totally do, like Heaven’s Gate. Most of them knew that the end result was going to be the “evacuation of their earthly vessel”. But the people who joined the Manson Family, for instance, did not initially join it KNOWING how it was going to end. They were part of the family long before Manson even came up with Helter Skelter, and by the time the Tate-LaBianca Murders took place, they were already too far gone to go against it.

I highly recommend anyone who’s interested in a humanizing view of former cult members, to read the essay “Leslie Van Houten: A Friendship” by John Waters. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/leslie-van-houten-a-frien_b_246953

Or, at the very least, listen to this 7 minute NPR interview with John Waters about the essay https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111585116

It’s the story of how notorious film maker John Waters, became friends with former Manson Girl, Leslie Van Houten, and about how she broke away from the cult after her conviction, how she’s spent the last 51 years of her life recovering from the psychotic influence of a maniac who’d promised her the world, and how even though she was convicted to life WITH a possibility of parole, it’s never been granted to her, despite the fact that she has done literally everything possible to try and atone for her crimes.

Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart. I’m pretty much the only person I know who feels sorry for Leslie Van Houten and other cult members who were brainwashed, abused, and manipulated into doing a lot of the horrible things they’ve done. But there are people in the world, who have committed FAR more heinous crimes than the Manson Family murders, and who are far less repentant than Leslie, but because those crimes weren’t as notorious, they get to walk free.

Addendum: When I first posted this, I had a few people point out to me that they had always associated Voldemort and the Death Eaters with Hitler and Nazi Germany. This is a perfectly fair point, but one that I personally don’t jive with, and the reason is simply the numbers. There were literally millions of people in the Nazi party during WW2. Death Eaters don’t even reach triple digits, as far as I’m aware. As I hinted at in this essay, I consider Voldemort and the Death Eaters to be MUCH closer to Charles Manson and the Manson Family. The Manson Family 100% had Nazi ideology, of course. "Helter Skelter” was Charles Manson’s prediction that there was going to be a massive race war; one that the Whites were going to lose, and that he and his Pure White family would emerge from it in order to rule over the remaining Blacks. Kinda... sounds like a Death Eater thing, huh?

Sorry. Back to Snape. There is a lot we don’t know about Severus’ actual time as a Death Eater. I think it can be reasonably assumed he’s never actually killed anyone before Dumbledore (In Prince’s Tale, Severus questions if his soul would be safe from killing Dumbledore, and Dumbledore implies that his soul would not be damaged by helping an old man avoid pain and humiliation. This leads me to believe that Severus never committed any soul-damaging murders before this). Beyond being a sneaky spy and delivering the prophecy to Voldemort, his time as a Death Eater is all up for conjecture.

Severus does make one important deviation from the typical cult member mold, however. In the end, he manages to break away from the cult. The scales fall from his eyes. In a figurative sense, the LSD has worn off. What made him sober up, was the threat to his last lifeline to the light. The one good fucking thing he’d ever had in his miserable life. He was brought back by genuine love. Ya know, the ENTIRE MESSAGE OF THE HP SERIES. And not only did he leave the cult, but he then spent the rest of his life actively attempting to destroy it, and atone for the mistakes he’s made, in an effort to bring back the world he’d been excited for, as an 11-year-old kid, so full of hope.

#Snape Meta #Severus Snape #Pro Snape #Snapedom #Snape Community #This will be the TRUE test of the tags #Essay Jam #Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult

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i-watch-too-many-movies · 3 years ago

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5 Favorite First Viewings of July 2021

Quick note: Hi everyone, I'm back, things have honestly been getting better for me, and I'm glad to be on this site full of cinephiles, people that are too horny, and cinephiles that are too horny. I'll be more active on here. But anyway, let's talk about some movies.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) (dir. Russ Meyer)

CW: Abortion mention

What a picture. What a gorgeous, sexy, horrifying slice of what Hollywood and star life can do to a bunch of bright-eyed young people looking for success. Also is a critique of how macho nature can ruin friendships and romantic relationships with total ease. I was obsessed with the scene transitions, like Pet pouring pancake mix onto a plate after the abortion scene, or Kelly singing after someone screams before their murder in the opening scene.

Great, campy flick with exceptional music too.

Deep Cover (1992) (dir. Bill Duke)

Laurence Fishburne plays Russell Stevens, a Cincinnati police officer who hopes to do well by the community, to make a difference. He’s traumatized by the death of his substance-abusing father, and wants to make sure that he can help the people of his own town. He goes undercover on assignment as a drug dealer, where his boss orders him to take down the kingpin. Stevens realizes the police’s own failings while on assignment. The racist abuse he takes from Agent Carver, and the realization that the police department is protecting drug kingpins like Gallegos and Barbossa. Giving drugs to Black kids and Latinx kids so there will be less of them. The cops are no different than the drug kingpins looking to make filthy amounts of money.

Fishburne’s performance is excellent, as Stevens feels he has to maintain a stone face so he doesn’t get caught by Jason or Barbossa or any of his cronies, but also he maintains a stone face to try and hide his emotion, his trauma. But when he gets pissed, Fishburne acts it beautifully, as is when he has to deliver a funny quip to counter Jason’s douchebaggery. And the production design, holy fuck, the sets and the lighting.

A perfect neo-noir for the HW Bush years, arguably one of the most timeless commentaries on the era, as well as the police as a whole.

Fast Five (2011) (dir. Justin Lin)

I was torn between including this or Furious 7, but I ultimately went with Fast Five because it felt like an important turning point in the series, it's a great heist film, and it reached the same chaotic highs and genuinely excellent filmmaking that I had been waiting for since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift.

Fast Five opens where Fast & 4ious left off. Dom is hauled away to prison on a bus. Mia and Brian drive in their high-tech cars and knock the bus over, helping Dom escape. The title drops. Fast Five. It’s such an intense yet short action scene, and dropping the title immediately after it lets the viewer know that this movie is not fucking around. It’s arguably gonna be more intense and insane than the previous one.

And it is. The filmmakers made the decision to use a lot more practical stunt work for the film, and as a result, it leads to, so far, the best action in the entire series, since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift. It’s not just how it’s shot or edited, it’s the geography of the locations, the rooftop chase echoes the rooftop chase of Jackie Chan’s masterwork Police Story, particularly the way each character bounces from top to top.

And of course, there’s the silliest moment in the movie, the one that matches the intensity and kineticism of a film like 2 Fast, which is driving the Reyes’ bank vault throughout the street, getting chased by corrupt cops.

I know we make fun of Vin Diesel for saying “family” all the time in these films, but there’s a reason we remember him saying all of these impassioned monologues. Because he’s unbelievably sincere, and has so much love in his heart for every single person in the room. Anytime he delivers a speech to any of them, it’s genuinely heartwarming.

This is the film that finally shows La Familia in their best environment, which is working together, in a movie genre that allows them to work together, which is a heist film. And a great one at that.

Last Days (2005) (dir. Gus Van Sant)

CW: Mention of suicide

Several films have been made about legendary rock artist Kurt Cobain, and for good reason. He is one of the most tragic figures in rock and roll. A tortured genius who has written and performed classic song after classic song with his band Nirvana. He was called the voice of a generation, and helped change the face of mainstream alternative rock music as we know it. But with that fame, and all of those expectations came a worsening depression and further drug abuse, and his eventual death. But most of the films about Kurt Cobain ask one question which gets under my skin way too much:

“Who REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY killed Kurt Cobain?”

It was him. He did. And it’s okay, I’m sad too. Thinking that Kurt Cobain was murdered is completely ignoring the depression that he faced. And despite Last Days being more inspired by the death of Cobain rather than actually about it, it feels much more honest than the conspiracy documentaries on his death, wanting to leech off of his dead body.

This is the last installment of Gus Van Sant’s “Death Trilogy”, the previous two installments being Gerry (2001), and Elephant (2003). While I have not seen Gerry, I have seen Elephant though, and love that film for its minimalist, raw nature, and its boldness for not romanticizing the school shooter or the lives they had taken. Last Days falls into that trap once, as I don’t agree with the shot of Blake’s soul climbing up a ladder, that always struck me as cheesy in a film that is anything but.

Last Days is similar to Elephant in terms of the way it is filmed. Its usage of long takes, and still shots of characters doing various things, such as Blake playing his guitar behind a drum set. The way these moments are shot is similar to a Chantal Akerman film, particularly Jeanne Dielman. Where the acts of the mundane are the stars of the film. Blake wanders around an empty house, and the viewer can feel the pain, not just through Michael Pitt’s acting, but from the house itself. Its decay, its paint peeling from the walls, from the soft glow of the lamp that lights his face.

I say this is the most honest film about Kurt Cobain, because, despite the characters technically being fictional (the main character who looks, walks, and acts like Cobain is named Blake), this film focuses on the mental state of a person before they eventually take their own life. They’re still working, still making music, still trying to talk to friends and bandmates, but the depression lingers on. Not once does this film try to make you believe that someone else killed him, because you can see the signs of his own suicide taking place just through the film’s excellent cinematography by Harris Savides, showing his mental state only growing worse through the production design.

And it’s empathetic with him. There’s no judgement for leaving rehab, there’s no finger-wagging at him or the people he was with, there’s just a silent prayer at the end of the film, hoping that he is in a better place than he was.

Sometimes you don’t need to show every event that led you to where you are, all you can show is the moment, which also makes this better than most biopics as well, as it never feels messy or muddled, just showing one moment of Blake/Kurt’s life.

I really loved this film, and I’ll be writing about it in full soon.

The Village (2004) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

The Cracked.com/Channel Awesome audience stuck in 2012 will tell you that this was the beginning of the end for Shyamalan. That this was when people stopped taking him seriously, that this was when he became more of a punchline because of his twist endings.

But why?

The Village was released in 2004, deep in the Bush administration, during the early stages of the Iraq War. The leaders of the time were talking about imaginary boogeymen, terrorists that would attack the civilians if they could. Because of 9/11, politicians could get away with these false ideas with the majority of Americans fully believing them. The boogeymen in The Village are “The People We Don’t Speak Of”, monsters attracted by the color red. Yet we find out that they are all costumes made by the Elders of the land, designed to prevent people from going outside the land. They rule by fear disguised as love. They’ve gone through their own traumas through the deaths of their family members, but they’ve decided to completely abandon the lives that they’ve had and have their children living lies.

9/11 impacted American life by teaching citizens to live primarily by fear, to not trust anyone but their own people. And yet, post-9/11, all that increased was not “coming together”, but hate crimes against South Asian people. The rage white Americans had felt led to conservative politicians pushing fear-mongering agendas, and said white Americans blindly accepted. The outside world was progressing, but too many people were fine with living with further conservative politics only regressing American life further and further back, all for the illusion of safety. Meanwhile, the only threats to them were not the brown citizens outside of America they were so afraid of, but the white elders, the white politicians.

The Village explores these fears so eloquently, all while having a terrifying atmosphere, an enchanting score, and brilliant sound design. I enjoyed this movie very much.

Other viewings I enjoyed:

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) (dir. Mike Judge) (re-watch)

Blow Out (1981) (dir. Brian de Palma) (re-watch)

Clueless (1995) (dir. Amy Heckerling) (re-watch)

Furious 7 (2015) (dir. James Wan)

The Long Goodbye (1973) (dir. Robert Altman)

Lupin III: The First (2019) (dir. Takashi Yamazaki)

Unbreakable (2000) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan) (re-watch)

Velvet Goldmine (1998) (dir. Todd Haynes)

The Visit (2015) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

#favorite first watches #these movies are (chef's kiss)#beyond the valley of the dolls #russ meyer #deep cover #bill duke #fast five #justin lin #last days #gus van sant #the village #m night shyamalan

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sunflowersteves · 4 years ago

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Unforgivable || ch. two

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: Your life with Natasha seemed like pure bliss until the team mistakes you for an agent gone rogue.

Word count: 2K

Author’s note: Cliff hanger, I knowwww. There will be one more part! I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: angst, fluff!, swearing, angsty plot, basically the whole team is a dick

Masterlist // Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Your feet start to ache as you continue to walk on the dirt road that led from the compound. You honestly had no idea where you were going, your phone was at five percent, and the Avengers had just threatened your life. Tears started to prick your eyes as you thought about Natasha. Anger consumes your thoughts, hot tears, and furrowed eyebrows. How could she not trust your love for her? How did the Avengers even have any information like that?

You blamed her for not trusting you. You blamed her for not trusting her love for you. You blamed her friends for not looking into it more. You blamed her for-

You just sigh and shake your head. A part of you wanted to give her a chance, to go back and see if she believes you. The other part never wanted to see her again, ever. Another part of you growled at the side that wanted to go back; you were almost ashamed of it. The Avengers had threatened you. They threatened your life and never once believed you over some paper.

But you were so confused. Your heart clenched at the thought of never seeing her face again or never having her fiery hair tickle your cheek.

You abruptly stopped as the road split into two. You tried checking the map on your phone but it acted like there were nothing here but fields. You sigh, sitting on a large rock near the road. You felt a vibration from your phone and quickly looked at it.

Hot RedHead: It’s over. I never liked you anyway.

Tears started to fully flow now, your chin wobbling. You started to chew on your lower lip to help stop the raking sobs flowing out of your body but it was no use. You were now leaning against the rock and pulling your knees up, resting your hands in your head. God, this all seemed so pathetic. You really love Nat, you can’t get her out of your head but what does she think of you now?

Natasha’s POV

Natasha was going as fast as she could, turning corners on her motorcycle it almost fell over. She had no idea how far you had gone. She was hoping you were still walking along the road. She knew you would push her away right when you saw her but can she blame you? Her friends made her believe you were a Hydra agent. But all she could think about was cradling you in her arms and telling you she’s sorry, hoping you’ll forgive her.

She knows it’ll take time. However long it’ll take, she doesn’t care. She’ll wait until you’re both 60 and a little wrinkly if she has to. But Nat also understands if you don’t choose her. With the amount of damage, she and her friends caused she doesn’t blame you if you never wanted to see you again. She would definitely respect that choice.

Fire burning anger ignited in herself. She can’t believe how shallow it was to believe her friends who stupidly mistook you for someone else. She felt so much anger towards them, convincing her that you were with her for information. How could they be so stupid? How could she be so stupid to trust them?

She came to a screeching halt as she spotted you leaning on a rock. She propped her motorcycle and carefully walked over. She practically whimpered as she could hear your soft snores. She could see the tear-stained cheeks and her heart constricted. Your nose looked stuffy from all the crying and your eyes had a slight puff to them.

She presses a hand onto your forehead and could feel the heat radiating off of you. It had been quite a hot day in New York and she didn’t know how long you had sat out here. She sighed and picked you up, laying in her arms you subconsciously snuggled into her. She feared that if she took you on her bike, you would end up falling off. So, walking it is.

Natasha marched along the dirt road, tears flowing down her cheeks. Some dripped down onto her shirt as she couldn’t wipe them. She just whispered “I’m sorry,” over and over again and carried you to the nearest bus station.

After about an hour of walking, Natasha had finally made it to the bus station. She paid for your ticket and sat you on the bus, head leaning on the window. She looked around and saw that only an old woman sat on the other side. She told the bus driver to keep an eye out for you and she nodded, telling her that no one would touch you. Nat just nodded and started to trek back to the compound.

Reader’s POV

It had been a couple of days since Nat broke up with you. You kept telling yourself that you were...handling it but in reality, her leaving had hit you pretty hard. You hadn’t really left your apartment, only going to the store for groceries. You called in for work telling them that you were sick but they knew you were lying. Especially your best friend, Shuri. Right when you called in sick, she immediately asked what was wrong but knew you needed time off.

You sat on the couch and sadly ate ice cream and started watching The Lovebirds. You would be drowning in your favorite wine but they ran out so you turned to tubs of ice cream. As the movie progresses, you find yourself crying with some tears dropping into your ice cream as Issa Rae and Kumail Nanjiani realize they’re still in love with each other.

You turned off the TV as the movie was over and was about to get ready for bed, especially since you’ve run out of sick days but something caught your eye. Your bag had sat on the dining room table, completely untouched. A little note stuck out of one of the pockets. You walk over and carefully take the note out.

Meet me at the blockhouse in central park on the 7th, 9 pm.

You sigh, that was tonight. But you knew exactly who it was. You knew Natasha wanted to speak with you, maybe she changed her mind? That definitely explains how you don’t remember ending up on a bus.

You just shook your head, crumbling it up, and tossing it in the trash. There was no way you would fall for that, right? I mean, it’s just the Avengers wanting to throw you in jail or maybe that’s just where they wanted to kill you. You and Nat had met there, her asking you for your number and you had many dates walking around central park.

They just wanted to reel you in. They were smart, you’d give them that but there’s no utter way you’d go. So, you got ready for bed and fell right asleep. The next morning you had to go to work, as much as you trudged along, groaning loudly as you got dressed. You stayed quiet on the subway as your friend talked your ear off.

You walked into the International Rescue Committee, slightly waving at some of your co-workers. You sat at your desk, doing some paperwork before visiting some of the kids you’ve helped. You especially couldn’t wait to see Peter, who has been attached to your hip since you arrived. You’re typing away, sipping on some coffee until you jumped a bit from a voice behind you.

“Oh shit, you look awful.” You roll your eyes and give a look at Shuri who’s snickering at your reaction. You and her both turn a bit more serious as you sigh and turn to her small tears forming in your eyes. She wraps her arms around you into a full hug. “Nat broke up with me. Her friends saw my name in a Hydra file and thought I was out to get her.”

Shuri gasped, hugging tighter. “Did they believe you?” You shook your head and ignored the stares you were getting from you crying in Shuri’s arms. “I see why you took some days off. Don’t worry about it. I’ll fill out your paperwork. Go see Peter.” She smiled brightly as you thanked her, kissing her cheek. “You’re the best boss ever!”

You walked next door to a large and fancy apartment complex where most of the refugees stay. You knew he was playing sports with some of the other kids so you walked past the complex and to the basketball court. “Y/n!” Peter ran towards you, locked you into a huge as you giggled and ruffled Peter’s hair. “Good to see you, kid.” He goes on to ask a bunch of questions, wondering where you’ve been and why you weren’t there. You explained some of it, to which he nodded and then declared to hate the Avengers now.

You laughed but you knew he was serious. He meant well. You and the rest of the kids start playing some basketball, laughing and playing around. What you didn’t notice though was the Avengers walking up to the basketball court. Before they reached you and notified you of their presence, one of the kids fell onto their knee and scraped it pretty bad.

Loud cries and sobs filled the air and you ran over, inspecting the wound. “Sh, baby, it’s okay. I’ve got you. Peter! Get the aid kit!” He ran into the complex to grab one from the front desk while you rub circles into the little girl’s back. Peter came running back and you took some soap and water, cleaning the wound. “See that bird over there? I want you to look at it okay? See it? It told me the other day that it likes your paw patrol shoes.”

The little girl cried out only a couple of times as you cleaned the wound and put a power rangers band-aid on her, which you knew was one of her favorites. She clung to your leg asking if you can get her ice cream because it still hurts. You laugh and nod, holding her hand.

“Y/n.” Your whole body froze, slightly turning to see the Avengers standing before you. You gripped the little girl’s hand while pulling a frown on your face. “Peter, take her to get ice cream.” He just nodded and gulped, taking the girl’s hand and walking to the ice cream shop next door. He gave you a concerned look but you nodded, making sure he knows you’re okay.

You open your mouth to speak but Clint just shakes his head, the rest of the Avenger’s head hanging low. You were honestly scared shitless, you tried not to give it away. However, it was pretty obvious as your hands were trembling and your breathing was fast. They were here to end it, weren’t they? I mean, sure you’ve stayed away from Nat so what could they possibly want?

“You should know that we’re sorry.” Your eyes practically bulged out of your head. Sorry? Huh? “The person on that file wasn’t you. The picture was the exact opposite. We shouldn’t have reacted that way. We’re very sorry and hold us accountable. If you can, please forgive Nat.” And with that, each Avenger apologized for what they did and asked you to consider taking her back.

You would just raise your eyebrows but then they told you that she feels horrible, not sleeping or eating. She feels like shit for not trusting you, the love of her life, and trust them instead. You couldn’t speak, just shaking your head as tears threatened to fall. They nodded and walked away going back to the compound.

Now you had to make a choice. Forgive Natasha or never see her again? On one hand, you wanted to be back in her arms again. Smelling her shampoo and kissing her temple all while that passion and love fill your stomach. But on the other hand, the Avengers had threatened you and your life. Natasha thought they were right. Natasha believed them, believed that you used her for information.

Although, you know you’ve already made your decision.

Unforgivable Taglist: @messuhp @dark-heart-no-soul @jenny-song

Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @kitkatd7

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themonkeycabal · 4 years ago

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WandaVision Episode 9 Spoilers

I can't believe we're already at the finale.

This has been better than I expected, though I didn't have any particular expectations one way or the other. I had hoped it would be bonkers, and it's had its moments, but I didn't expect it to be breaking my heart. I'm glad Wanda (and Elizabeth Olsen) got this moment to shine. It was very well done, and it's been nice to have fun with a Marvel property again. It's been a little while.

My wishlist for this episode is simply that somebody, anybody punch Acting Director Dick square in the face. And also that Jimmy Woo arrests him. A lot.

Other than that, I don't know what to expect, or how they wrap this up in 30 minutes.

Previously on: Wanda finally earned the name Scarlet Witch after Agatha made her relive the worst moments of her life. Harsh, Agatha. Vision uttered a line that launched a thousand gif sets. And Hayward revealed his genius masterplan which is a reactivated Vision, devoid of color and powered by the energy bleeding from Wanda's hex. I'm sure that will go swimmingly for him.

Let's see how this all ends.

Agatha still has magical tethers around Billy and Tommy's necks, which obviously Wanda doesn't like. Agatha gives the boys a tug, knocking them back, and Wanda lets loose, walloping Agatha. The boys are now free, but Wanda tells them to go to their room. They object, she insists, Tommy grabs Billy and they zoom off. Wanda hits Agatha again with a hex, but Agatha sort of collects it into a little glowy ball in her hand. Oops.

"I take power from the undeserving. It's kinda my thing."

Wanda notices her hand turning gray and gnarly — the look of somebody about to be magically mummified. Agatha hits her with a hex and taunts her some more.

"You're clearly in over your little, red head, so why don't you surrender your magic to someone who knows what to do with it?" Agatha, you're pushing your luck. "I'll let you keep this pathetic corner of the world all to yourself. What do you say?"

Wanda says she will throw a car right at your face, Agatha. I laughed. Didn't see that coming, did you? Knocked Agatha right out of her boots.

As Wanda is investigating, Director Dick's white Vision floats down behind her. He's creepy looking.

Wanda walks over to him, staring at him. "Is it really you?"

He puts his hands on her face, all gentle like, but it's a lie. He starts to squeeze. "And I was told you were powerful."

Gross, AD Dick. I hope you get stepped on by Ant-Man when he's being Giant-Man.

Sitcom World Vision (hereafter just plain old Vision) makes a timely reappearance, and takes out Not!Vision. He wants to know where the boys are, Wanda assures him they're safe, and she apologizes for everything and that she should have told him what was happening, "the moment I realized what I'd done". Poor Wanda. He tells her it's alright. She says she can fix it. Not!Vision climbs out of the burning remains of a camper.

Agatha reappears to note the awkwardness of the situation. She asks Wanda who she's going to choose, the ex or the boyfriend. What happens when Wanda hits you with more power than you can contain, Agatha?

Wanda tells Vision "this is our home." He agrees, "then let's fight for it." I hope for the best for you two crazy kids! Marvel has a dicey record on happy endings, though. Sorry!

Vision takes off towards Not!Vision again. Agatha flies off, too, and Wanda follows.

Across the street Monica is pounding on a window, calling for Wanda. Fietro, lounging with a guitar in his … stoner den?, tells her nobody can hear her. Can we talk about how Monica's SWORD uniform looks like ST:Next Gen unis? I can't stop seeing it and it's distracting. Anyway, she tries to escape, but, Fietro is still all fast and stuff, so she's thwarted.

In the sky, Vision and Not!Vision battle. Not!Vision says Wanda must be neutralized and Vision must be destroyed. Hmm. Not!Vision tries to rip out the stone in Vision's forehead but Vision goes intangible. More fighting with intangibleness. It's pretty cool.

Outside Westview, AD Dick is feeling cocky as he watches both Visions on tracking monitors. I loathe him so much. Jimmy Woo is brought in handcuffed by a pair of SWORD goons. I'm sorry, who the f is SWORD? Like, they have arrest powers now? Dick says "hey, it's my favorite member of the Bureau." New wishlist: everybody gets to take turns punching AD Dick in the face.

Dick asks his minion to reconfirm mission objectives while Jimmy listens carefully, mentally noting each and every violation of federal law and the Sokovia Accords.

The minion says she can't get through to not!Vision, his system is overloaded. A cellphone rings on a desk nearby and Jimmy eyes it, then tells Hayward that he'll never be able to cover up these shenanigans.

While Dick is busy boasting and the SWORD goons are doing everything but paying attention to their prisoner (in my head all the SWORD goons applied to SHIELD but Maria Hill laughed at each and every one of their applications and then called Pepper to laugh some more and then texted choice bits to May tagging them "RE: LOL"), Jimmy eases over and grabs the phone.

"Wanda canceled her show,” Dick says with the sort of confidence only an enormous prick can muster, “so there's no footage proving there was ever more than one Vision."

Jimmy points out that that is dumb, because there is other footage, from SWORD HQ and stuff, and probably evidence of tampering. He casually sits on a table, shaking his head, like he's just so disappointed (i'm hoping he's somehow managed to use the phone to record the monolog-ing) .

Dick is still too far up his own ass to notice Jimmy being sneaky. "No one's going to care once I've eliminated Wanda Maximoff. They'll believe that the Vision that emerges from the Westview rubble is the one she illegally tried to bring back to life."

Wait, bringing him back to life is illegal? You're full of shit, Dick. And also, an extremely terrible person, who will destroy a whole town for … something? A Vision weapon? Who are you fighting, Dick? BTW, I award him no sympathy points for surviving in the post-Snap world. So if he's been scarred by that or whatever, I don't care. Trauma doesn't excuse murdery megalomania. As has been said before: Cool motive, still murder. I hope Vision intangibles him into a lamp post that gets peed on every day by a parade of small dogs.

"They'll thank me for recovering such a valuable asset. You could be part of that victory, Jimmy. If only you had a little more … vision" says the smug prick who is asking for it. And by it I mean something both terrible and humiliating to happen to him asap.

Jimmy fake laughs back. "That's a good one, Hayward. Okay, I'm convinced. The trouble is my friends at Quantico will probably have something to say about your plan. When they arrive. Inside the hour." heh.

Oh, poor Dick doesn't like being mocked back. He tells his brain-dead goons to remove Jimmy. The goons throw Jimmy into a … stack of hay? In a fenced in cage thing? As you have on your pop-up military facility. Where he sets to work removing his handcuffs with a clip he also stole, because Jimmy Woo is cool like that. Close Up Magic! See the things you can learn from criminals. "Flourish" lol.

He calls his friends at Quantico. "I was hoping you could get here … inside the hour?"

Back in Westview. Wanda is looking for Agatha while the town goes about its business. Weirdo delivery guy drives by "Don't shoot. I'm just the messenger. ha ha."

Then she gets hit in the back by a purple hex. Ouch. She has hit the pavement hard kind of a lot in this episode already. That hurts, my dudes, I know this from personal falling down experience. Wanda's hand, by the way, is still looking ashy and not very healthy.

Agatha taunts her from a rooftop. "Did you know there's an entire chapter devoted to you in the Darkhold." How could she know that, Agatha? Also, boo the Darkhold. That bit of nastiness led to the Framework, and I'm still a little scarred by that myself. "That's the book of the damned," says the witch standing in front of a billboard for "Squeaky Shine" lol.

Agatha produces the Darkhold and recites from it, "The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no coven, nor need for incantation." Wanda insists she isn't a witch, nobody taught her magic.

Agatha continues, "Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme" Steven Strange will like that. Not much. He's so twitchy about things like that. "It's your destiny to destroy the world." Always with the destinies. FREE WILL FOREVAH!

Wanda insists she's not the Scarlet Witch thingy. Agatha says "oh really?" and uses her mojo on Emma Caulfield. Hi Emma Caulfield! She seems to be 'awake' and introduces herself to Wanda (who knew her as Dottie) "My name is Sarah. I have a daughter, she's 8, maybe she could be friends with your boys. If you like that storyline. Or the school bully, even. Really anything, if you could just let her out of her room. If I could just hold her." Wow, ouch.

Speaking of free will or the lack of, Wanda accuses Agatha of doing this, but Agatha says "She's your meat puppet. I just cut her strings." Poor Wanda. And now Agatha wakes up the whole town, who all head towards Wanda.

And we cut to Fietro's den of manchildness. Monica asks what that place is, but come on Monica, it's clearly a den of manchildness. Fietro is making himself a smoothie and explaining the purpose of a mancave — chillaxing.

Monica ignores him and rifles through his bills and whatnot. She finds a headshot of Fietro with the name "Ralph Bohner" underneath. Because, people just keep their headshots lying around willynilly. Wait, are we saying Ralph is an actor? Lol.

Fietro meanwhile is planning for a Steven Segal marathon — my dad and I watched all of those movies and for the life of me I could not tell you why. We didn't *like* them. I mean, mostly we laughed, but still. Why?

Anyway, Monica is trying to solve the mystery of Fietro. It's not Agatha's house (obviously) it's Fietro's (Ralph). He's an ass and asks if she wants to fight some more, so she flips him over her shoulder and pins him down, trying to figure out how Agatha is controlling him. With her new glowy eyes, she notices the bead necklace he's wearing sparkles in a magically way. She rips it off and Fietro becomes Ralph.

Elsewhere the Visions are still battling in the sky and the boys are watching from their bedroom. They lose sight of dad, but Billy gets a vision of mom in trouble in the town square. He and Tommy run off.

The townsfolk are confused and scared. Wanda tells them they're all going to be fine. "When you let us sleep, we have your nightmares." Ouch. Wanda insists she kept them safe. Wanda, sweetie, you're very far in over your head.

"You feel, you feel at peace," she tells them, kind of hoping that works. It doesn’t. "We feel your pain." "Your grief is poisoning us." "Please let us go." This is an awful thing to do to Wanda, Marvel!

It escalates with all those voices begging her to free them and she screams, grabbing her head, and when she does that, red light appears around the throats of the townies, silencing them, choking them. Wanda realizes and puts her glowy hands up "stop, stop, I'm sorry", releasing them all.

"If you won't let us go, let us die." Wanda promises to let them go. Agatha wonders what's stopping her from actually doing it.

"Heroes don't torture people." Agatha's a very sink-or-swim kind of teacher.

That does the trick and Wanda throws her arms back and yells to the sky, releasing her power up at the hex surrounding the town. "Go, all of you. Now, go." The people run and the town flickers through the eras and the barrier starts to fall.

Outside, Director Dick tells his morons "this is it, we're going in!"

The Visions keep on battling, but as the barrier falls, Vision starts to falter himself. I was afraid of that.

The Morons roll in with their big trucks and big guns because … reasons. I have a very low opinion of SWORD. Maria Rambeau's agency deserves better than this shitshow.

Vision falls and it looks like bits of him are chipping off. He hits the ground hard, he gets up, but he's glitching, too, falling apart as Wanda takes down her spell. He reaches for her. The boys appear now, too, screaming for mom, but they seem to be flickering as well, flying apart in pixelly pieces. Poor Wanda.

Agatha says "Now do you see? You tied your family to this twisted world and now one can't exist without the other." This is terrible. "Save Westview or save your family." TERRIBLE.

Wanda pulls the hex into herself again, recreating the barrier. The kids and Vision recover and run to her. Outside, as the hex closes, Jimmy Woo is, yet again, left to stare at the barrier, cut off from the fun inside. Poor guy, lol. But, his FBI buddies are arriving, so at least he won't get lonely.

Agatha throws a hex at Wanda and Wanda throws up a shield to protect her family. Which Agatha starts to draw towards herself like the magic vampire she is. Greedy Agatha. Wanda's arms are all gray. And SWORD rolls into town square, because that's what this confrontation needed — these dipshits.

Anyway, the Family stands ready to face Director Dick and his morons, in a quality recreation of the Incredibles family pose. "Listen boys, your mother and I never really prepared you for this," dad says. Because your boys are like three days old, Vision, it's okay. "But you were born for it," Wanda assures them very fiercely. Get 'em, sister!

As they square off, Vision's like "oh crap, it's the other me, back in a mo'" and flies off to tackle Not!Vision who's trying to sneak up behind them.

They destroy the town library and Vision wants to know why Not!Vision gotta be like that. "My programming directive is to destroy the Vision."

Ha ha, says Vision, a loophole. "But, I'm not the true Vision, only a conditional Vision."

Hmmm, says Not!Vision, and they stop fighting, "I request elaboration". Hey, Vision, move into Not!Vision's body and you can be true Vision again! Problem solved, my work here is done.

Back to the street where we find Dick and his Morons and Agatha who is not making this situation at all better. The morons point their guns at Agatha who magics them up off the ground like thirty feet in the air, "Same story, different century. There will always be torches and pitchforks for ladies like us, Wanda." I'm not going to say you're wrong, Agatha, and God knows these SWORD morons are morons, but you're also a pain in the ass. So …

Anyway, then Agatha drops them and Wanda reaches out to catch them. But once caught, she does let them drop the last five or six feet. They'll be fine, but also they deserved it, so I laughed.

"Boys, handle the military. Mommy will be right back." They're my new favorite family.

Wanda flies up to tangle with Agatha and Agatha is super ready except … Wanda throws a curveball and disappears. Suck it Agatha.

Down on the ground the SWORD morons continue to cover themselves in glory and point their guns at CHILDREN. I don't care if they're powered children, you know what I'd like, I'd like if one of the morons would just be like "um, but … they're kids and how about no? I'm going to get Jimmy Woo! He'll know what to do. Don't try and stop me!" That doesn't happen.

Billy freezes the soldiers in place and Tommy super speeds by and steals their guns and hats. AD Dick, being the absolutely loathsome, vile, lower-than-a-maggot, piece of shit that he is, gets out of his humvee and shoots at the CHILDREN.

Monica, who has just arrived to the party, runs and throws herself between Dick and the boys, taking the bullets meant for them. Her new powers render her sort of … I don't even know. Not quite intangible, but she kind of looks like a ballistics gel dummy and the bullets go through her but they slow down a lot as they pass and then just sort of fall on the ground. Dick, crossing the line into pure evil, fires again, the bullet misses Monica and heads towards Billy, who just raises his hand and stops it with his power then he grins at Monica.

"Nice tricks," she tells him.

"I like yours, too," he says.

Dick tries to fire AGAIN! But he's out of bullets. He only had four? Or maybe his gun jammed. Anyway, like the brave man he is, he runs to the humvee, gets in, reverses at speed, stops and looks like he's going to put it in gear and drive at them because the dude is unhinged. But! Lo! It's Darcy and the funnel cake truck, that is apparently built like a tank, though come to think of it, it probably was an armored vehicle in the real world.

Anyway, she t-bones Dick's vehicle, thwarting his evility for the moment. "Have fun in prison." Lol

Back to the Visions. They're having a philosophical debate. "You are familiar with the thought experiment "The Ship of Theseus" in the field of identity metaphysics," Vision prompts Not!Vision.

"Naturally." And Not!Vision helpfully spells it out for us. "The ship of Theseus is in a museum. Over time its planks of wood rot and are replaced with new planks. When no original planks remain, is it still the ship of Theseus?"

Vision presses his advantage, "Secondly. If those removed planks are restored and reassembled, free of the rot, is that the ship of Theseus?"

To sum up, neither is the true Vision, both are the true Vision.

"But I do not have the mind stone," says not!Vision.

"And I do not have one single ounce of original material," replies Vision. "Perhaps the rot is the memories. The wear and tear are the voyages. The wood touched by Theseus himself."

Not!Vision says he doesn't have the memories, though, but Vision insists he does, the data is still there, hidden. Not!Vision says nah, Vision must be the true Vision because he believes himself to be. But, Vision says that's not true anymore, he plays the reverse card, "upon meeting you, I have been disabused of that notion." This is the most philosophy nerd game of 'not it' ever.

Vision continues to try to get at Not!Vision's memories. "As a carbon-based synthazoid, your memory storage is not so easily wiped. May I?" Not!Vision allows Vision to touch the glowy bit where the memory stone used to be, and Not!Vision is flooded with Vision's memories. Not!Vision's eyes go … normal, I guess you'd say, no longer robot-like and glowy.

"I am Vision" he says and flies off. It was a lot to take in, I guess. He needs a little me-time.

I guess we're going to have to go back to calling Vision Sitcom!Vision, anyway, he goes outside and the boys run over to him and there's hugging and stuff.

Agatha stalks them from the rooftop, but it seems she might have forgotten Wanda for a second, because Wanda appears behind her and does that thing she does where she makes you see your worst fear. Enjoy that, Agatha!

Agatha sees herself bound to the stake in the woods again. Her coven dead. Wanda is there in the vision, too. "You see the difference between you and me, is that you did this on purpose."

The coven rise from the dead and shuffle to her while Agatha begs for it to stop. But, then Agatha gets control of herself, I guess, and the undead mummy witches start saying Wanda's name and pointing at her. You're just no fun at all, Agatha.

Now the coven ties Wanda to the stake. "You can't win, Wanda. Power isn't your problem; it's knowledge." That is, actually, very true. Wanda's Scarlet Witch headpiece appears on her all magical-like, marking her as the Scarlet Witch of myth, I suppose.

"Give me your power, and I will correct the flaws in your original spell. And you and your family and the people of Westview can all live together in peace."

If Agatha is so smart, why doesn't she just take Wanda's power, hmm?

"And no one will ever have to feel this pain again. Not even you," Agatha tries cajoling, but that was the wrong tack to take. Wanda gives her the head tilt of imminent ass-kicking, and her powers explode outward, flinging way the weird creepy coven of zombie mummies. Then Wanda knocks them both back into Westview.

She starts hammering Agatha with her powers. "Take it, I don't want it." Vision tries to fly up to help her, but she blocks him with a spell.

Witch fight in the clouds. Every time Wanda misses Agatha, her hexes hit the shield. Outside Jimmy Woo looks on, concerned.

"There's more," Agatha says, "I want it all." Wanda's looking a little mummified, but she's still flinging hexes left and right while Agatha cackles evilly. Eventually Wanda runs out of steam and just sort of hovers there.

"About our deal. Once case, a spell can never be changed." You're terrible, Agatha. Very cruel. "This world will always be broken. Just. Like. You." Low, Agatha. Lower than dirt

Agatha gathers herself and tries to hit out at Wanda with all that yummy power but it just fizzles. Nothing happens. Oh noes, Agatha, what's wrong?

Wanda starts looking like her normal self again and behind her glows a giant rune. Oh, dear, Agatha, you taught Wanda something. When she was missing Agatha and hitting the shield all those times, she was actually casting runes. LOL to you.

The sky is angry and red and stormy. Monica, Vision, and the boys look on.

"In a given space," Wanda says, "only the witch who cast them [runes] can use her magic. Thanks for the lesson, but, I don't need you to tell me who I am."

The Scarlet Witch headpiece reappears and now Agatha has her a fright. I like you Agatha, you're rotten in fun way, but you took it too far, sister. Wanda takes her power back with prejudice and she is transformed into the Scarlet Witch. Updated version of the classic costume. Nice, I like it.

"Oh god," Agatha gasps, "You don't know what you've done." Wanda drops her on the ground more gently than she deserved.

Agatha asks if Wanda's going to lock her up somewhere. And Wanda says, yeah, here in lovely Westview. "I'll give you the role you chose; the nosy neighbor."

"You have no idea what you've unleashed. You're gonna need me." "If I do, I know where to find you." lol

And Wanda turns Agatha back into Agnes. "Hiya, hon. Say, that some kind of getup you're wearing. Did I leave the oven on, or is that just you, hot stuff."

Wanda says goodbye and walks over to her family, kissing her boys.

Vision says their dream home has turned into a fixer-upper. "I know you'll set everything right. Just not for us."

"No," Wanda agrees because Marvel likes to hurt us all. "Not for us."

Monica kind of bounces on her toes, trying to get Wanda's attention, but probably also not entirely wanting Wanda's attention. Wanda gives her a hesitant nod as she and Vision leave with the boys.

The field around town starts to shrink, the circus turns back into the SWORD base.

They get home and tuck the boys into bed.

"Big day today," Vision says. "Your mother and I … are very proud of you both."

"Very proud," Wanda agrees. "You know, a family is forever. We could never truly leave each other, even if we tried. You know that right?"

They kiss their boys goodnight. Outside the window, the field flickers and fails. "Boys, thanks for choosing me to be your mom."

The town of Westview returns to its sad old self, street by street. Wanda turns out the lights in their home.

But, Vision turns one back on. "Oh, I read somewhere, that it's bad luck to say goodbye in the dark." "No, you didn't." You guys are killing me.

Why did this have to be so good and sad?

And finally the collapsing field reaches their street, they watch it coming.

"Wanda, I know we can't stay like this, but before I go, I feel I must know, what am I?"

She touches his face. "You, Vision, are the piece of the mind stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires and blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope, but mostly you're my love." Stupid show, my screen went blurry there for a second.

Vision cries a bit, they both are a little astonished by the tear.

"I have been a voice with no body, a body but not human. And now, a memory, made real. Who knows what I might be next." Aww, Vision, I love you.

Here comes the field.

"We have said goodbye before, so it stands to reason—" "We'll say hello again." STUPID SHOW why do you have to make me feel things?

The field collapses and everything is stripped back into nothing. "So long, darling." And Wanda stands in the empty lot, in the foundations of the home that never was.

She walks away again. Poor Wanda. And back into town. The people look at her, they don't seem happy. I don't know why she chose to do that, she does have a car. Ah, she's going to talk to Monica.

"They'll never know what you sacrificed for them," Monica says. "It wouldn't change how they see me," Wanda tells her. "And you? You don't … you don't hate me?" "Given the chance, and given your power, I'd bring my mom back. You know I would." "I'm sorry, for all the pain I caused."

Wanda promises to figure out her power and then files off. The End.

Heartbreaking. Good, but heartbreaking.

Mid-credits scene. Jimmy Woo is large and in charge. He's setting up the incident response in town, ordering folks around (in his good natured way).

Jimmy spots his friend. "Monica!" "Authority looks good on you, Jimmy." "Where's Darcy?" "Something about ‘debriefs are for the weak’?" lol "But we can thank her for that."

And down the street AD Dick is being arrested. Nobody punched him in the face. I'm sad. Darcy came closest, I guess. What with hitting him with the very large truck. It will have to do.

Monica is summoned to the theater by another agent. Hmm nobody there. The agent follows. "I was sent by an old friend of your mother's." And the agent is a Skrull. "He heard you'd been grounded. He'd like to meet with you."

"Where?"

The Skrull points up.

What was Fury's Skrull buddy's name? I don't recall. I didn't actually like the Captain Marvel movie. I felt like they told it backwards, and also they should have just cast a younger actor to play young Nick Fury. That bugged me. And I wanted more of Annette Benning’s character. Anyway … I guess we know where we’ll see Monica again.

Well, that was fun. Like I said, I'm not sure what I expected from this series, just that it be some degree of fun, I guess. But it was much better than whatever I had half-envisaged. AND SADDER, MARVEL.

Thank goodness for the multi-verse. I'm sure we'll see some version of the boys again. And also Not!Vision, who is probably also Vision at this point, knocking around the world, trying to find himself. Talk about identity crisis. I feel you, brother. Stay safe, get plenty of whatever passes for rest for you!

See you guys in a couple of weeks for Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I WANT NO TEARS FROM THAT ONE! Unless it's tears of laughter.

ETA: FOR THE SECOND POST CREDITS SCENE THAT I MISSED. Stupid Marvel hiding things from me. Thank you, @beelzebufo

Mountains, a mountain lake, a place I’d like to be right now. Wanda sits on the porch of her lonely little cabin. The tea kettle whistles and she goes inside. There’s a rattling and whispering from the other room, where the astral projection(?) of the Scarlet Witch reads the Darkhold and her children call for her. I don’t know, Wanda, seems dicey, that’s not a very nice book.

FOR REAL THE END THIS TIME

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision liveblog #long post

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axelbluesworld · 4 years ago

Text

Alone in the lake

Riley sat on the floor of her room staring at nothing, this whole week had been very stressful, and the worst thing was that Jack had died.

Many times she said that she hated most of the things that Jack did. She hadn't realized then that those little things were the most missed of him.

His irritating laugh, his constant jokes, his jokes and references to old movies, his obsession with rock and his great love for Brus Willis

Her phone rang on the ground for the third time in the last hour, but she didn't bother to pick it up because she knew exactly who the call was from.

Mac had been calling her all day, and all she did was ignore him, she didn't want to talk to him or anyone else unless it was Jack, but he was gone.

She tries to suppress her feelings and let go of the worst pain, which is extremely difficult.

Without realizing it, tears were already falling freely down her cheeks after almost 3 years, and the only time she was able to see him again was from inside a coffin.

Once again, her phone vibrated on the ground, and finally, giving up, she decided to answer.

"What do you want, Mac?" she asked

"I just wants to talk to you Riles, I need to know how you are," Mac said.

"I'm completely fine, you don't have to worry," Riley said calmly.

"Riles ..." before Mac could say anything else, she hung up.

She hit her head against the wall and groaned in annoyance. She wasn't sure who she was upset with, she just knew she was upset.

At that moment she hated the whole world for every second she was away from Jack, she was sad, angry and hurt.

She didn't know how long it had been since she was sitting on the ground and she didn't care at the time.

Suddenly, she heard a sound coming from the hall, immediately became alert and walked to see who it was.

She picked up a baseball bat from her room and walked down the hall. She put the bat down when she saw the person in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked a little annoyed.

"I needed to see you" answered Mac

"How did you get inside?" she demanded

Mac simply smiled and showed her a small hair clip that was now bent over.

"Why don't you imagine it?" She rolled her eyes and went back to her room.

"Where do you think you are going?" Mac said, taking her hand.

"To my room, and if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone," Riley said.

"Riley, I just want to help you" said Mac

"Mac, I really appreciate that you want to help me, but I'm completely fine," Riley said.

"I know you are not, I know you Riles" said Mac

Riley just lowered her head and sighed as she looked at the ground, Mac walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms.

"Talk to me, Riley." said Mac

"It's so hard to get over all of this, he promised me that we would spend all our time together when he comes back and I didn't know at the time that that was the last I would hear from him, I miss him so much," Riley said.

"Riley, I know that losing Jack is one of the hardest things that can happen to us, but I promise you that from now on everything is fine, fine, I will be with you at all times, and we will overcome this pain together" said Mac

"Mac, this is more complicated, Jack was one of the most important people to me, but you've already lost a lot of people, I don't want to bother you with my pain too" said Riley

"Riles, you and I are a bundle, remember? We support each other no matter what, I'll be there for you as you will be here for me, I don't want you to be sad Riley," Mac said.

Riley shed several tears, Mac looked into her eyes and gently wiped away the tears that had stained her cheek. They stayed like this for a couple of minutes, just hugging.

"Let me take you somewhere," Mac said out of nowhere.

"where?" Riley asked

"Don't ask, it's a special place," Mac said.

"It's too late," Riley said when she saw that it was 9 PM.

"Do you have time to sleep," Mac joked.

"Okay, but tell me where will you take me" he asked again.

"I won't tell you," Mac said.

Mac led Riley to his car, and they were both silent for a couple of minutes, Riley watched as Mac turned on the radio and then Wilie Nelson's music began to play.

"Wilie nelson?" Riley asked a little amused.

"Jack liked it, this music makes me remember him," Mac said.

"I remember" she smiled a little but became serious again.

Mac drove in silence for a couple of minutes while Riley just stared out. Riley moved from her place and looked at Mac with a serious expression.

"Why are we leaving town?" asked Riley

"you will see?" He playfully winked at her

"Are you planning to kill me?" Riley asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, where i'm taking you, no one will be able to find your body," Mac joked

Riley shook her head and leaned her arm against the window to look out, they drove about 25 minutes until they finally reached their destination.

The place was a forest quite far from the city and the people themselves, everything around it was very dark, and the only thing that lit up were the lights of Mac's car.

"where we are?" Riley asked when he got out of the car.

"you'll see" said the words from before

Mac took a flashlight from the car and guided her down a path that was there in the woods, Mac held her hand as they walked through that dark place.

After a few minutes they came to a clearing in the middle of that forest, but the clearing was not the only thing there, right there was a small pond that was illuminated by the light of the moon.

"Where are we Mac?" Riley asked him again.

"It's a place that Jack and I found a few years ago, he and I used to come here to get rid of the stress of work," Mac explained.

"So this is where you two disappeared when no one found you," Riley said.

"Jack said he wanted to keep this place a secret from everyone else. He and I were very close, sometimes we just need a place where he and I can be alone," said Mac

"Why did you bring me here?" Riley asked

"Because you need what I needed years ago, a quiet place and someone to help you overcome the pain, I know you are a very strong woman, Riley but I want you to know that sometimes it is okay to cry when you feel sad, Jack was the only person I went to when I felt bad and we both came here and since he left the only person that has been for me has been you and you should know that now I will be the one who is there for you "said Mac

Before Mac could say, anything else, Riley threw herself into his arms to hug him, Mac immediately returned the hug, wrapping his arms around her.

"Thanks Mac, thanks for bringing me here" she said against his neck

"Anytime, Riles" Mac gently kissed her head

They stayed like this for another minute until Mac picked her up off the ground, and she panicked because she knew what she was about to do.

"Mac, put me down, don't you dare do it" Riley yelled, hitting him on the shoulder.

Mac just ignored what she said and took her to the lake and then threw her into the water.

"You are a fool" she yelled annoyed

"But that's how you love me" scoffed Mac

Riley was not happy, and without him being able to do something, she took his legs and made him fall into the water as well.

They spent most of the night in that little pond enjoying a quiet and fun time.

When it was 2 in the morning, they were both in their underwear by the fire that Mac had made to dry their clothes.

Neither of them was bothered by the fact that they were both literally in their underwear, they had seen each other half naked before and there was no one around, so they were fine for the moment.

Riley lay down on the ground to get a perfect view of the stars. She looked at Mac who was looking at her.

"That's a children's story, but right now I want to believe that Jack is up there next to the stars, watching us from above," Riley said without taking her eyes off the stars

“When I was a kid, I believed it, and maybe I still do. So when I was little, I really liked astronomy, I thought my mother was there somewhere, "Mac said.

"Maybe she is, she and Jack must be up there" she said pointing to the stars.

Mac got up from his place and took his clothes since he was close now and started dressing. Riley did the same as well and followed Mac to the water's edge where Mac had sat.

They both stayed a few minutes just looking at the water, the stars and the moon were reflected in it, and it was a spectacular sight.

"I love you," Mac said out of nowhere.

"what?" asked Riley surprised

"I love you, I love you as more than a friend Riles, I know you don't see me the same way, but right now I don't want to keep this to myself" said Mac beside him.

"Seriously?" Riley asked

"Yeah, I've been in love with you for a while, and I never had the guts to tell you," Mac said.

He turned to look into her eyes and Mac put his hands on her cheek and slowly approached her, Riley didn't know how she reacted to everything she had just said, it was what she had wanted for so long and now she could have done it . that, and that made him nervous.

"Can I kiss you even once?" Mac begged inches from his face.

Without thinking twice, she nodded and slowly her lips met his.

It was such a soft, sweet, tender, affectionate, intimate kiss, there were so many emotions in that simple kiss. Riley gently ran her hands through Mac's hair as one of Mac's hands rested on his waist while the other rested on his neck.

They parted when shortness of breath was present, but kept their foreheads together, Riley looked Mac in the eye and leaned in closer to wrap her arms around him for a hug.

"I like you too, I love you too" he said

"in cerium?" asked Mac

"very cerium" said Riley

Mac moved to leave the hug and stand up, reached out to help her up.

"There's something else I want you to see," Mac said.

"What?" she asked

"Come with me" Mac took her hand and led her to a nearby tree.

On the tree were engraved the letters "M + J" and just below were other letters "BFF" she knew what each of the letters that were there meant

He looked at Mac and saw small tears trickle down his cheek. He smiled a little and then saw her.

"Jack wrote this the first time we came to this place, he put the M for Mac and the J for Jack, which are the initials of our name, and then he put the BFF which stands for best friends forever," Mac said.

"Typical Jack," Riley said with a smile.

Mac smiled back, pulled out his knife before crouching in front of the tree. Riley watched him do worse, wasn't sure until he got up.

Mac had engraved the letters "R + M" with a heart next to his initials.

When he stood next to her, she jumped up in his arms and kissed him on the lips. When they walked away, Riley smiled at him and he took her hand to lead her to the water's edge.

"I wish Jack was here" said Riley

"Me too, but now I'm happy because I have you" said Mac

They both enjoyed that moment alone at the lake, they missed Jack, but now they knew that everything was going to be fine because they had each other.

#macgyver #mac x riley #macriley #riley davis #angus macgyver #jack dalton

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someguynamedstevewrites · 5 years ago

Text

“My Roommate is an Apparition” Christmas Special

Based on characters created by @reddpenn

—————————————————————

“It was a dark and cloudy evening on the twenty-ninth of November.

The end of a Black Friday the likes few would remember.

In an art supply store that can be found somewhere.

A person named Lily almost pulled out their hair.

With sale after sale, and all the price drops,

Poor Lily was tired. She wanted it to stop.

She dragged her feet one after another, with muscles so sore.

It felt like she walked a thousand miles to fall down at her door.

But now it was over, and at last she was free.

To veg out on her couch, and watch shows on TV.

But before she could indulge in being a couch potato,

There was still the matter of her roommate who...

...

Who...”

Lily tapped the pen against her chin as she tried to come up with a good word that rhymed with potato. Her head rested on a cushion against the arm rest of her couch as she slouched back; crossing one leg over the other. One of her spiral notebooks rested in her lap as she turned her head to look at her roommate.

The ghostly apparition stood motionless with a gaunt expression. Their eyes were wide with tiny pupils that somehow weren’t necessarily bloodshot, but at the same time, also bloodshot... but without the blood part. Their unkempt long hair fell down over their nearly non-existent shoulders and down their back, if you could call it that. Anyone who saw them standing next to them would likely jump out of their skin. If they could see them.

They were watching Spongebob Squarepants on Nickelodeon.

It was a rerun of the first episode, and the falsetto voice of Tiny Tim began to fill the apartment.

“Things that bother you Never bother me!

I feel happy and fine!

Living in the sunlight!

Loving in the moonlight!”

“Hav...ing... a... wonder... ful... time...”

Lily could tell the apparition was trying to sing along with its raspy voice. It sounded more like muttering under their breath, but it was clear what they were doing. It had to be difficult for it since they didn’t necessarily have lungs, vocal chords, or any other body parts usually involved with singing (as far as Lily knew). But despite that, it was still happy, bobbing their head slowly from side to side as they tried to keep up with the song.

Lily couldn’t help but think it was adorable; like a Pre-Schooler trying to sing along with their favorite cartoon.

It was the apparition’s scheduled cartoon time, and Lily had just come home after a very long morning, day, and night at work. As exhausting as working on Black Friday was, Lily was thankful to have a nice place to return to where she could unwind and relax. She was also thankful that the rent was surprisingly cheap too; what with the apartment being haunted and all.

She remembered the look on her landlord’s face when she signed the lease. It was a mixture of horror, surprise, and joy in response to finally finding someone willing to rent the apartment. Previous tenants would often report of strange things happening when they lived there. Their TV’s would turn on by themselves at random times. Sometimes the channels would change on their own, and whenever the tenant tried changing it back, they could hear an ethereal whisper demanding that they change the channel.

But Lily weren’t afraid of no ghosts, and took one of her first steps to independent living with dirt cheap rent.

A spooky chuckle came from her roommate as they watched Spongebob completely ruin Squidward’s day ...again. If not for the fact that Lily could see the pale, see-through entity that made that noise, she probably would have found the laughter rather creepy. But she didn’t, and in the spirit of the season, Lily mentally noted how she was thankful that she could see her specter of a roommate.

This train of thought led Lily back to one of the questions she had been asking herself for the past couple months: Why could she see the apparition when nobody else could?

Several possible answers ran through her head. Maybe she had secret powers that she wasn’t aware of? Maybe she was the “chosen” one, selected by the mysterious wraith to be the only person that could see them? Or maybe there was something about them that made them kindred spirits in a way? And if so, what tied them together?

Lily’s train of thought was derailed by the sudden commercial break on the TV, signaling that Spongebob had ended, and Lily knew what that meant. It was finally her turn to have the TV!

“Okay, show’s over. Now it’s my turn to watch something.”

Lily’s roommate gave a disappointed sigh as Lily snatched up the remote and changed the channel to CBS. It was prime time and time for some Hawaii Five-O. Sure it wasn’t the most mentally stimulating television program out there and one could argue it had the same level of intellect as Spongebob, but it was what Lily wanted to watch and watch it she would!

Or at least that would have been the case if not for a tiny spanner in the works. What greeted Lily after changing the channel was not Hawaii Five-O, but a familiar sight that Lily had not seen for a long, long time. Bongos could be heard as the word “Special” spun around colorfully on the screen before resting in place and showing “A CBS Special Presentation”.

A bright blue background with images of snowflakes falling appeared on the TV screen, accompanied by a calming, familiar, song.

“Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays

Welcome Christmas, bring your light

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays

Welcome in the cold of night.”

“No kidding...” Lily said to herself in amazement. She hadn’t seen How The Grinch Stole Christmas in years. And it wasn’t the live action remake with Jim Carrey or the newer animated movie with Benedict Cumberbatch either. It was the genuine, original, Chuck Jones animated TV special with Boris Karloff narrating.

Lily remembered watching this on TV with her parents when she was little. It was one of the many Christmas specials that would air instead of the usual TV programming at night, and was just the thing for a 8-year old to enjoy before being tucked into bed for a 9 PM bedtime. Fond memories of the Christmas Tree in the living room, glowing with lights, and a stack of presents underneath it came flooding back to her in a wave of nostalgia.

It wasn’t Hawaii Five-O, but Lily wasn’t about to complain. In fact, she thought it was the perfect way to usher in the holiday season after the shopping turmoil of Black Friday. But as she kicked back to relax, she took a look at her roommate and couldn’t believe her eyes and ears.

“Every Who... down in Whoville... liked Christmas a lot.

But the Grinch... who lived just North of Whoville... did not!” said the apparition.

Its face was practically glowing with a warm smile that stretched almost from ear to non-existent ear on her face. Normally, Lily’s roommate was literally quite clear. Its transparent body made it easy to see right through them. But as it gazed at the Christmas Classic playing on the TV, Lily could have sworn that she saw a faint light beginning to emanate from her roommate.

The apparition’s pale, translucent skin looked like it was becoming opaque. A soft, warm glow radiated from its body as though it had just swallowed a night light. And all the while, the apparition spoke along with Boris Karloff’s narration word for word.

“The Grinch... hated Christmas!

The whole Christmas... season!

Now... please don't ask... why.

No one... quite knows the... reason,” the apparition quoted as it did its best to keep up with Boris Karloff’s pace.

“Wow! You’ve got the whole thing memorized, don’t yah?” Lily said with a smile.

The apparition turned around and smiled back at Lily, but this smile was different from before. Their smiles were usually filled with sharp, pointy teeth with an almost maniacal look to them. This smile, however, didn’t stretch across the whole of their face. Furthermore, while their teeth were still pointy, they looked somewhat smaller; almost human, even. It was a soft, warm, friendly smile.

It turned back around and continued to watch the TV classic, and as it did, Lily sat upright and scooted over to one side of the couch.

“Hey,” Lily called out, “care to join me?” She said while patting the seat next to her on the couch. Without taking its eyes off the television, the apparition walked backwards, somehow, onto the couch and then proceeded to sit next to Lily. “C’mere you,” Lily said as she took a throw blanket resting on the back of the couch and draped it around herself and her roommate.

Despite her roommate’s lack of substance, Lily felt warm and comfortable under the blanket. She could feel the faintest touch as the apparition’s head limped to the side and came to rest on her shoulder. It still quoted and sang along with the Christmas classic, but quietly so as not to disturb the viewing experience of their corporeal roommate.

It was peaceful, calm, and comforting. As they watched, Lily looked at her notebook that was now sitting on the floor. The movement of inviting her roommate to the couch had knocked it off. Looking at it, Lily figured out what to put down to finish her little post-Black Friday stress relief poem.

“... But before she could indulge in being a couch potato,

There was still the matter of her roommate who would not let go.

But as mysterious and weird as her roommate might be,

There was something about it that brought a warm smile to Lily.

And so the two sat on the couch in front of the TV,

Enjoying their time together as it was meant to be.”

Lily made a mental note to write that down once the show was over...

...but unfortunately forgot.

#reddpenn #my roommate is an apparition

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gryfon-spanish-werewolf · 4 years ago

Note

Uuh dunno if you would like this prompt : Anna and Elsa as a mythical creatures.

Would love too see what you will write them as ^^

@like-redhead-probably I sat thinking about this ask for a long time, because while I IMMEDIATELY thought of one for Elsa, Anna’s absolutely eluded me. And I know you were probably looking for a story, but I am unable to stop myself from first EXPLAINING my choices xD

I was already thinking about the myth of the Hulder (or huldra if we’re speaking of the creature in general instead of the specific Norwegian myth) for other story-related reasons, and as I did more research, I felt like the Hulder REALLY shared similarities with Elsa.

Generally speaking the huldra is a Scandinavian myth of a pale skinned, blonde or brown haired, attractive young woman who lives in the wilderness, often luring men away with song or dance to be killed or misled, stuck wandering forever. Sometimes she’s connected strongly to water, and instead of making men lost, she drowns them. Sometimes she is described as similar to an elf or fey-like creature, with characteristics related to other Huldufolk (we’ll get to them later) such as living in a parallel world, or a world Underground, and therefore preferring caves or appearing and disappearing suddenly. Sometimes she is depicted as having a hollow back, or a cow’s tail, which she hides out of embarrassment or to conceal her true identity. Which… how cute is that?

Before the 11th century, the myths were focussed more around the Huldufolk, which literally means “Hidden Folk”. There are lots of stories as to why and how the Huldufolk came to exist, but for the purpose of Elsa I think it most appropriate to look at the Christianization of the myths. Why?:

Frozen and Frozen 2 are modern movies made by an American company and Christianity is nigh untanglable with American culture, they take place in ~1840s Norway, F1 has a dedicated place of Christian congregation depicted in said movie, an official royal crowning overseen by a Christian faith leader, and the adaptation of Frozen generally comes from author Hans Christian Anderson and therefore should take his life and society into account, etc.

The Christianized myth says that one day Eve was washing her children (presumably after Cain, Abel, and Seth) in the river, when she heard God approaching. Ashamed that He would see her kids unclean, she hid the half she wasn’t done bathing, and when God asked, “Where are the other children?” Eve claimed that she had all of them present, indicating the clean ones. This gave God pause, but in the end He said, “Then let all that is Hidden, remain Hidden.” The children that Eve lied about became the Huldufolk, unable to live among humans. These people would eventually become characterized as dwarves, elves, fairies, etc., as time and interpretations rolled on, the huldra being just one of many mythical “species”.

So. Who is Elsa? She’s a:

fictional, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned young woman who led thousands of men wlw to wander helplessly into the dark caves and wildlands of social media with a power ballad and a jaw-dropping transformation sequence

Okay I’m joking… mostly…

In fact my interest in choosing the Hulder for Elsa lies purely outside of any romantic or sexual appeal, especially since Elsa as a character exhibits next to 0 romantic or sexual interest across two whole movies and an additional two shorts. Indeed, there’s a reason people headcanon her as either asexual, aromantic, or both! No, the reasons I chose the Hulder are:

Elsa’s name

Her upbringing

Her duty as queen, and

Her general behavior, specifically in regards to Frozen 1, as Frozen 2 Elsa is, at times, an almost completely different character

Elsa’s name was chosen very specifically by the filmmakers because it means “God is my Oath”. Oaths are binding, heavy, and invoke the maker’s or subject’s actions and personhood in the future. In Elsa’s case specifically, it invokes divine witness: perfect for a queen, someone born to rule. A promise to be fair, to uphold, to protect, to lead, to be a dignified and honorable face for the country. And Elsa was so ready to be that… except for the powers of course. Or at least, when they became something other than a magical gift of wonder and joy. When they became dangerous. Then there comes another oath, spoken to powerful creatures of magic, the Trolls, and born from parental fear: “She can learn to control it.”

Binding, heavy, invoking of Elsa’s future. As she grows, Elsa becomes closed off, quiet, hiding in her own home. She still takes her duties seriously, but now that she has been Other’d, taught to hide herself and her curse, she is just as much shadow as person. To young Anna, Elsa must have been almost ghostlike, disappearing right when Anna thought she’d cornered her, only to reappear sometime later down the hall, out of arm’s reach.

God promised Adam and Eve that their children would inherit the earth, even after leaving the Garden of Eden. Then suddenly that changed, due to Eve’s fear and shame of her unwashed children, and some would now inherit Underground, or somewhere else entirely. The lost children of Eve had become Other’d, needing to hide, disappear, and resort to inhuman tactics just to exist. Maybe they’re jealous, maybe they're just tricksters. But it’s not their fault. And it wasn’t Elsa’s either. Another reason they are similar.

Now, it’s not all doom and gloom for the Hulder, or for Elsa. While the Hulder is generally known for her more chaotic and negative attributes - just like our favorite snow queen, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. There are a few myths that say burning a charcoal fire -instead of a coal or gas one- is most pleasing to the Hulder, that she’ll even watch over it during the night, and wake the sleepers in case something happens. If a traveler leaves supplies behind with a note or offering for the Hulder, they will travel safely. In fact, some people leave caches for her, as though to cater to specific requests. Coming across the Hulder by chance can have a multitude of outcomes, but if an astute observer spots her cow tail and mentions it, she may become shy and run away. Don’t mention the empty back though, that’s almost certain death.

Basically my point is… trade out the word “traveler” for the name “Anna” and we can draw all the similarities we want. Anna did all of those things, in a way. Anna gave Elsa a little gift of their favorite snowman every Christmas. Anna knocked on Elsa’s door and spoke to her, treated her kindly despite the distance between them, literal and metaphorical. It’s not hard to imagine that Anna left little notes around the castle, hoping Elsa would find them, read them, and know that Anna still loved her, still missed her. And, well, hopefully Anna wasn’t setting any fires and falling asleep next to them - but Anna always kept a light on for Elsa, in her heart. And it flickered and wavered sometimes, but it was a strong fire most days. And we know Elsa was always drawn to it, drawn to Anna because she loved her right back. Loved her first, even. And because it was a warmth that pleased Elsa, she tended it, quietly, carefully, warmly. Like putting a blanket over an Anna that had fallen asleep in the painting room, refusing that slice of chocolate cake so Anna could have two desserts, and listening, for hours and hours, days and days, for the sound of Anna’s glorious bonfire-like soul outside her bedroom door. Even when her secret was revealed, Elsa believed that the best way to protect Anna’s life, her flame, was to distance herself, running to a secret, special place all her own - much like the Hulder might run away back to the Underground.

And this last part’s just me, but I’d like to think that if the Hulder was treated kindly, respected, and given dignity, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if someone came across her accidentally. That instead of being instantly drowned, or the Hulder becoming sheepish and attempting to run, it would feel recognized. It could be called by name. And instead of feeling the need to hide it’s Otherness, it could be treated as part of it, and cared for just the same. I don’t even need to be subtle here: Anna called Elsa by Name, really saw her, and reframed her darkness into light. Anna hasn’t fought God yet, but she did walk through hell and back for a sister that everyone else saw as a threat, monster, and sorcerer. A category 9 Other. Too bad for them, Anna’s got a Category 10 heart.

Speaking of. We finally got to Anna.

Anna was difficult to pin down because to me, Anna is so very, very human. That’s what makes her special! Yes, yes, you could throw any mythical creature at Anna and the fun part would be trying to make it work within her personality and characterization BUT since the question was Anna AS a mythical creature, that changes the game! The word ‘creature’ itself tends to conjure something distinctly INhuman. So I…. tried, and cheated maybe a little. Because I picked for Anna the Norse Valkyrie.

Most people know what Valkyries are so this one takes significantly less explaining. Valkyries are women that are warriors, shieldmaidens, and the hands of Odin, and they choose who lives and who dies during battle. Their chosen dead ride with them to Valhalla, while those they choose to live are usually granted honors in life. There are the darker sides of Valkyries that paint them as blood hungry maidens waiting on the sidelines before a war, singing the names of who will die with glee… but generally speaking the version of Valkyries that most people know and admire today are accurate! And thank goodness because attempting to depict Anna the other way would probably give me an ulcer.

Anna, much like the Valkyries, is a woman of valor and strength, who is perceptive, guides others, sees into people’s hearts and reveals their goodness. Valkyries are also warriors of prowess themselves, and Anna in Frozen 2 with that ice sword? We all know she was ready to use that for real. She also exemplifies traits that Valkyries both look for and have! Bravery in the face of danger: hello Marshmallow, Elsa’s own blizzard, Hans’ lethal sword strike, LIVING MOUNTAINS, and a damn collapsing.... dam. She also defends those who cannot do it themselves: saying publicly that, “My sister is not a monster… she was scared, she didn’t mean any of this,” even if that cast suspicion or doubt on herself, and the crown, as a whole. Anna knew and believed in Elsa, despite all the years and heartbreak and anger. Despite the impossible magic that literally just happened before her very eyes. Belief in character, despite appearances. And once they were reunited, Anna made every effort to stay by Elsa’s side because she STILL had that faith in her. Anna’s name means “Grace” or “of Grace”, and damn if she didn’t extend that to the person others found most unworthy, even to Elsa herself. Valkyries see what others don’t, and their decisions are final.

[Deep breath] SO! You asked for Anna and Elsa as mythical creatures. You got… a small academic paper, by social media standards xD. I intend to write a little piece about a Valkyrie who encounters the Hulder on the edges of a battlefield and… realizes she never made a choice about this particular woman. And wonders why she can’t ;). BUT I didn’t wanna leave you hanging any longer. Hope you like my choices!

Oh also, nobody asked, but Kristoff is a werebear. No research required

#there's almost 2k words to this uhhh..... eyup that's all I have to say about that #the inner academic kinda popped out #begging to be utilized after a few dusty years xD #I have links to all this stuff btw if people want them #but now I should REALLY go to bed #or I'll be slowly flame-broiled by a certain someone who is about to find out I'm awake in the worst way possible #like-redhead-probably #mythical creature au #Hulder!Elsa #Valkyrie!Anna #mythology #also yes I know I didn't stray far from Scandinavian territories for the mythical choices I couldn't help it #once I got digging into the huldra I had a hard time looking anywhere else #still I think Valkyrie fits so nicely for anna #she might as well be on irl tbh #Elsa #Anna #my writing #and yeah I'll get to a little short story bc they're so CUTE like this!!

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skzleeknow12 · 4 years ago

Text

Betrayal - Stray Kids

Summary: After years of losing touch after a harsh betrayal, CEO Park Seolhee is reunited with her best friends as they sign a business deal. However, she is not the same as she was all those years ago, so how will she react when the members of Stray Kids ask for her forgiveness as well as a rekindling of their friendship?

Warnings: None (this is my first time writing a fanfic/drabble/scenario idk what to call it lol, so it’s not as good as the other stories on Tumblr but I think it will be enjoyable to read so please do read it and maybe repost it too! Also, the summary is not to good and makes the story seem more boring than it actually is hehe. Thank you in advance for reading this :)

Word count: Approximately 6k

…

“Miss Kim, please tell me my schedule for next week,” Seolhee said as she tiredly leaned back in her chair. This week had been anything but relaxing; calling it chaotic would be an understatement. Seolhee was just glad that after this she got to go home; her plan for the weekend was simple: sit in bed and watch kdramas whilst stuffing her mouth with pepperoni pizza.

“Of course Madam,” Yoojin said as she took out the timetable. The two were close friends but they had to act professional at work; the last thing Seolhee needed was for her position as CEO to be taken away due to something as small as her not talking formally. She had built this company from scratch, sleepless nights and a diagnosis of depression had been the consequences but at the end of the day, she was satisfied with what she had achieved. Of course, Yoojin had been by her side the entire time, making it more worthwhile. “JYP Entertainment recently got in touch with our advertising team and they really wanted their boy group Stray Kids to wear our outfits from the Cle clothing line for their latest upcoming comeback. At 9:00 am on Monday, you have a meeting with them, all the final details will be discussed then and our fashion directors will bring the samples to see which member would suit which one. After that -” She had been about to continue when Seolhee had cut her off, startling her as she immediately sat upright in her seat, staring with wide eyes. “Madam, are you alright?”

“Did… did you just say Stray Kids? As in JYP’s boy group?” Seolhee asked with a shaky voice.

“Yes, Madam I did… oh no,” Yoojin said and she instantly realised why Seolhee had reacted the way she had. She poured her a glass of water and sat down as she watched her gulp the water down in three big takes. “Seolhee, it’s them, isn’t it? Your old friends?” Seolhee didn’t say anything about her dropping the formalities as she reluctantly shook her head.

“Yoojin, what do I do?” she asked her best friend desperately, “I never wanted to see them again, now I have to work with them? I can’t do that.” Flashbacks appeared before her and she swallowed the lump in her throat, trying not to cry at the pain of the hurtful memories.

“Listen, this could be a good thing,” Yoojin said, holding her hand across the desk, “this could finally give you the coverage you need. You left without letting them apologise, you basically disappeared from their lives. I know this has always tormented you, so this could be the perfect opportunity to end everything once and for all. And if not, maybe you could become friends again?” Seolhee immediately stood up, slamming her hands onto the desk in front of her, a scene which was not uncommon to Yoojin as she just sighed at her friends agitated state.

“No,” Seolhee began, staring out of the big window, “I don’t need any coverage. Cancel this business deal; we will not be taking part in it.” Yoojin widened her eyes and tried to think of a different approach.

“Seolhee, listen to yourself,” she said urgently as she took her friend by the shoulders. “You would be letting go of such an amazing opportunity. If Stray Kids advertised our clothing line, think of how popular it would get. This is such an amazing offer; it would help our company so much.” Seolhee thought about it for a second before she walked towards the window, her back facing Yoojin.

“No Yoojin,” she said quietly, “I’ve managed to make our company the top in the whole of Korea; I did that myself. In the past years, we’ve been able to extend our business all the way to the western markets, everyone knows us. We don’t need Stray Kids to help us out, we are perfectly fine by ourselves.”

“Listen, I know that our company is the top one, I’m not denying your hard work,” Yoojin said softly, “but this could help us maintain our position at the top. We have a lot of competitors who would always be willing to let Stray Kids advertise them. This offer has fallen right into our laps without us even having to do anything. We can’t let it go.”

“We’ve had BTS, Twice, Itzy and so many more advertise for us,” Seolhee said, “and they’re the biggest things at the moment. We’ll be fine, we don’t need Stray Kids.”

“But Seolhee, Stray Kids are the highest wanted group for brand ambassador at the moment,” Yoojin pleaded, “we could benefit from them so much. Listen, you need to think as a CEO, ok? What would you tell everyone if asked why you rejected this business deal? That you’re still hurting from your broken friendship? You need to make sure your personal life doesn’t affect your professional life, and you know I’m right.” Seolhee looked back at her, and she didn’t want to admit it, but Yoojin was right. All of her hard work could go to waste if another company partnered with Stray Kids, they would go to the top and her company would lose its top position. She couldn’t let that happen. With a hesitant nod, she looked at Yoojin, who seemed beyond satisfied that Seolhee had listened to her. She didn’t want to see her best friend’s hard work go to waste just because of her past.

“Fine,” Seolhee said, “but don’t tell them that I know they’re coming, and don’t tell them that I’m the CEO. I’ll stay professional during the meeting and leave immediately after, ok?” Yoojin walked towards her and engulfed her in a hug.

“Of course,” she said as she patted her back, “don’t worry, it will all be fine. No one is forcing you to talk to them. You do what makes you comfortable, ok?”

It was Sunday night and Seolhee had been tossing and turning in her bed for what felt like an eternity. She was beyond nervous about having to meet the members again, what would she even say to them? No, she wouldn’t talk to them about anything apart from the business deal. She would leave immediately after to make sure they wouldn’t be able to say anything to her. Why would they want to talk to her anyway? They were the ones who grew tired of her. Even though it was so long ago, the pain was still fresh whenever Seolhee thought about it.

(Flashback)

Seolhee excitedly rang the doorbell at Felix’s house as she held her self-baked cake in her hands, making sure the card was stuck at the bottom of the box. She couldn’t believe that after so much hard work and pain, the boys were finally debuting. She knew how much they had waited to hear this news and she was beyond happy for them. She was a bit weirded out by the fact that none of them told her and that she had to find out through her classmates congratulating them on Instagram, but she shrugged it off as she saw a figure approaching the door. The door opened and there stood Felix’s mother, smiling brightly at her.

“Seolhee, it’s so good to see you!” she said as she carefully hugged the girl, making sure not to accidentally ruin the cake in her hands. “Is that for the boys? They’re in the living room, come with me.” She led her to the living room and whilst they were walking there, Seolhee heard the voice of all of them laughing, as well as the sound of an unfamiliar girl. Miss Lee’s phone suddenly rang so she excused herself as she answered it. Seolhee put the cake down on the small table in the hallway as she checked her appearance. She picked it up and was about to enter the room when they all erupted into another fit of loud laughter, and she peeked through the door and saw the girl laughing at a picture from one of the boy’s phones. Of Seolhee. Their backs were towards her so they couldn’t have known she was there, and the girl was too busy laughing to notice her too. Seolhee quickly stepped back, not wanting to be seen but she still decided to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“The amount of confidence she has to post these kind of pictures!” the girl laughed and to Seolhee’s horror, the boys were laughing alongside her. “And what is this?! She literally looks like a pregnant woman filling herself because of her cravings!”

“I know, we always told her to eat less but she never took us seriously!” Seolhee’s heart broke as she heard Chan dissing her weight. Chan, the one who had always told her she was perfect no matter what.

“Yeah, she could easily eat 10 boxes of pizza and at the end of it whine about being hungry, just like a fat pig I swear to god!” she never thought she would hear such things come out of Minho and Jisung’s mouths, sure they teased her but she thought they did it in a friendly way. And she always thought she ate the right amount, not just living off of air like the girls at school.

“Her visuals remind me of a warthog!” Hyunjin laughed and Seolhee felt her heart rip apart. The others joined in with equally insulting observations, mostly about how fat she was and how out of place she looked. She looked down at herself and instantly shuddered. They were right, she was ugly. She had never paid much attention to it, she always thought she was average among the class of overly-skinny girls at school, but after hearing her own friends say those things about her, she couldn’t help but think how stupid she had been to think she was fine. She had allowed them to see her in her worst states, for instance during the many movie nights they had she never wore makeup, always opted to wear baggy sweatpants and t-shirts as well as keeping her hair in a messy bun. She didn’t realize how awful she had looked to them; she always thought they didn’t care about those kind of small things. Her mother wasn’t in the world anymore to be able to tell her these kinds of things, so she had never tried. From the brief seconds she had looked at the girl in the room with them, she had noted how gorgeous and petite she was; of course the boys would prefer her. Just at that moment, Felix’s mother came back, and noticing the silent tears dripping down Seolhee’s face, she immediately became worried.

“Seolhee, why are you crying?” she asked and Seolhee immediately heard the others turn silent. She heard someone curse lowly and the next second she saw Felix standing in the doorway of the living room, panic all across his face.

“Seolhee I -” he started but was cut off as she hurriedly mumbled to his mother that she had to be somewhere. In her hurry to leave, she accidentally dropped the cake and felt guilty that Felix’s mother had to clean it up, but she didn’t turn back. She could hear the boys shouting after her but she didn’t listen to them. She heard them running after her and quickly crossed the road whilst simultaneously waving down a taxi. The taxi came at such a high speed and somehow managed to stop only a few seconds before reaching her. In her fright, she fell to the ground as she screamed, and she heard the boys from the other side of the road. To her horror, they were about to cross the road and the last thing she wanted was to hear their excuses, so she quickly stood up and ran to the side of the taxi, stopping the driver as he got out to check if she was ok.

“Please… start driving,” she said quickly and he gave her a worried look but obliged. They zoomed off and the last thing Seolhee saw was the faces of the boys as they looked distraught, some of them running their fingers through their hair frustratedly.

Her phone had been blowing up with messages from them, both from their group chat as well as privately; even Felix’s mother had asked her what had happened, and their phone calls seemed never-ending. Finally after she could take it no more, she blocked all their numbers and left the group chat, as well as not bothering to listen to the countless voicemails they had sent. She would never trust them again, no matter what they said. They came to her house many times, but she never answered the door, and after growing tired from knocking, they would eventually leave, telling her they would be back the next day. She hated this, so after the 5th day she decided to phone her friend from a business camp she had attended a few months ago.

“Yoojin?” she said brokenly as she ignored the girls energetic greeting.

“Seolhee? What happened, are you ok?” she asked urgently and her heart broke as she heard her friend completely break down in tears. “Listen where are you right now? I’m coming to your apartment ok; it will take 45 minutes but I’ll try and get there as fast as possible, ok?”

“No… no, don’t come, I’m f-fine,” Seolhee stuttered and she heard Yoojin groan agitatedly.

“You’re not ok, I’m on my way,” she said firmly and all Seolhee could do was nod, “I’m already in my car and I’m leaving now, I’ll be there soon ok? Love you.”

As soon as Yoojin ended the phone, Seolhee immediately went to her room and locked herself inside, shrinking down in front of the mirror as she looked at herself. She had never been girly, but she thought she was fine the way she was. She never thought her friends would focus on something so materialistic like weight and looks rather than her heart. She had been so mistaken. After what felt like an eternity of crying, she didn’t know what force overcame her but she found herself walking towards the washroom and frantically started searching through the drawers to find a razor. She had never self-harmed before, she had never even thought of doing it, not even when her parents died, but at that current moment it looked so appealing. Without thinking twice, she slid the razor down her arm and winced as she felt the sharp pain. She watched the blood drip and it strangely satisfied her. She heard frantic knocking on the front door and realised that Yoojin had arrived. She felt numb and gave no reaction when Yoojin freaked out over her bloody arm, but she finally opened up about what happened as Yoojin tended to her wounds on the sofa. She expected Yoojin to get up and leave, but instead she saw her go to her bedroom. She didn’t feel like following her and just stayed on the sofa, staring off into the distance. Yoojin snapped her out of her trance when she gently pulled her up, and when Eunji looked around, she saw that Yoojin had packed most of her stuff.

“You’re coming with me,” she said firmly and started dragging her towards the door. Seolhee looked around her small apartment, she had made so many memories here and she felt emotional to depart from it so suddenly. “Don’t worry, we’ll come back after a few days to get the rest of your stuff. But you’re not staying here yourself. You’re living with me in my apartment now.” Seolhee didn’t even protest and watched Yoojin in silence as she locked her apartment door whilst dragging her suitcase, as well as simultaneously pulling her along with her. When they reached the ground floor and were making their way to Yoojin’s car, Seolhee suddenly heard someone shout her name and recognized her friends running towards her. She heard Yoojin curse under her breath as she quickly put Seolhee’s suitcase into the boot of the car.

“Seolhee!” Felix called as they ran up to her. To their pain, Seolhee turned her face away from them and didn’t answer, but not before they all caught a glimpse of her puffy tear-stained cheeks. Yoojin glared at all of them before guiding Seolhee to the passenger seat, gently yet firmly pushing her inside.

“Leave,” she harshly told the boys, who looked surprised and confused. They had met Yoojin only a few times but they knew her to be bright and energetic like Seolhee; this person looked different. “You have no right to talk to her.”

“Let us talk to Seolhee,” Changbin said but Yoojin shook her head.

“No way,” she hissed, “and don’t ever come here again. Seolhee’s going to live with me now, and if I see you again in front of her I won’t hesitate to beat you all up.” Changbin looked like he was about to say something back but Jeongin’s timid voice interrupted him.

“Y-you’re leaving Seolhee?” he asked painfully, talking to Seolhee who had somehow forgotten to close the car door. She sniffed softly and Yoojin quickly shut it and glared at the boys again.

“Really I’m shocked,” she snarled at them, “I thought you guys were different, but you’re all just jerks. She’s leaving, and don’t even think about coming in front of her again. You’ve hurt her enough, both physically and emotionally. Go to your friend who you so easily talked crap about Seolhee with.” With that she turned around and got into the driver’s seat, and the boys watched as she gave Seolhee a hug whilst wiping the tears from her face before reversing and leaving. That was the last time they saw or heard from her.

Seolhee stood outside her company’s building and was genuinely considering phoning in ill just so that she could avoid the meeting, but she later decided against it.

“You need to get over it once and for all,” she told herself, “show them how great you’ve become.” She took a deep breath before walking inside. She checked the time on her vintage watch. 8:39 am. She still had 20 minutes left so she decided to go to her office, hoping Yoojin would be there, and she was right. As soon as she entered, Yoojin engulfed the younger girl in a big hug.

“I’m really proud of you for going through with this,” she whispered, “I’m here for you, ok?” Seolhee nodded and accepted the bottle of water Yoojin had handed over to her. The two sat down and talked and before she knew it, Seolhee realised it was 8:50 am and she had to make her way to the meeting room, as well as check in on her colleagues and workers on the way there. She greeted anyone she saw and they greeted her back with a big smile. She was known for being a cold but kind, firm but soft CEO, and this dynamic of hers caused her to be loved by everyone for it. She reached the meeting room and she could already hear the boys talking and laughing loudly. She sighed deeply and put her cold CEO gear on before opening the door. She strode in as the boys quickly scrambled up to greet her and avoided the looks on their faces as they looked at her in shock. She greeted her fashion team and engaged in small talk with them as she set her things on down on the table before turning to look at the boys, who were all frozen in place.

“Do you usually just stare at CEO’s who you partner with or do you actually show some respect?” she asked coolly and their manager immediately apologized on their behalf whilst hissing at them to bow in respect. They did so clumsily and Seolhee bit back a smirk; maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. She sat down as her workers followed suit and she impatiently gestured for them to do the same.

“Madam, these are the outfits for our new line that you chose,” one of her workers said as she passed Seolhee a folder. Seolhee looked through it, humming whenever she saw a good design.

“Hmm, these are good, well done,” she said, smiling as she handed the folder back, causing the fashion team to sigh with relief and smile back at her. Seolhee turned to look at the boys, all who were looking at her expectantly. She raised her eyebrows and they quickly diverted their gazes to the table. “This is your 2nd year as a group, am I correct?” she asked and they looked confused as to why she asked a question to which she already knew the answer. Their manager nudged Chan, and she knew enough about them to know that he was their leader. She never had the heart to find out more about their group so other than their names, positions and debut she didn’t know anything about the group.

“Um, yes, it’s our second year,” Chan said, trying to sound smooth and stable. Seolhee nodded in acknowledgement and gave him a forced smile.

“Congratulations, I understand this is a hard field to get into. I actually used to know some people who wanted to become singers too.” she said coldly, but masked it with a smile. “Ok, getting back to business, I assume you’ve chosen the designs you prefer for yourselves?” the boys looked at each other before nervously shaking their heads. They saw the way she rolled her eyes and knew she wasn’t only angry due to this. There was a lot more to that eye roll. Their manager immediately stood up, bowing repeatedly as he apologized.

“I’m extremely sorry Madam, we will make sure not to waste your time again in the future,” he said and Seolhee signaled for him to sit down, smiling a little.

“Don’t worry, people can make mistakes,” she said with a steely gaze, “however please don’t let this happen again, some mistakes can never be forgiven.” She didn’t miss the look the boys gave each other and smirked again. She was enjoying this. With a tilt of her head, she signaled for one of her workers to start the presentation on the big screen. She stood up, casually taking her blazer off, and throwing it on the chair whilst rolling her sleeves of her dress shirt up. The boys couldn’t deny how well she fitted the title of CEO, with her white shirt, black blazer, black pants with matching black heels as well as her hair falling over her forearms in smooth waves. She was very petite, not to mention how her light makeup made her glow. None of them missed the flash of a long bandage on her arm, but she quickly turned her body so that it wasn’t visible. “Focus please,” she said as she directed them out of their trance. “Ok, we have been working on this clothing line for a while and your CEO seemed to think that your comeback concept would go well with the clothes. My colleague will pass you around folders with the samples so you can see how they feel, and the designs are in there too, so please decide what you would like. But before we start that, your CEO asked us to design the set for your music video, so my colleagues read your lyrics and were able to come up with images like these.” She gestured towards the screen where a series of pictures as well as drawings of different sets were displayed, and the boys couldn’t deny how good they looked. Seolhee led them through the presentation and before she knew it, it was already 12:00 pm.

“Please look at the clothing designs and let us know by the next meeting which will be…” she said, looking at a girl at the back of the room.

“This coming Friday, 9:00 am,” a steely voice said and the boys turned in surprise to look at Yoojin, who glared back at them.

“Thank you, Miss Kim,” Seolhee said, smiling. The fashion team bowed in respect and left the room, leaving only Seolhee, Yoojin, Stray Kids and their manger in the room. Their manager received a call so he left the room to take it. Seolhee’s smile disappeared as she looked at the boys. “It was a pleasure meeting you, I’ll take my leave now. Please feel free to eat your lunch in our canteen if you feel the need to do so.” She bowed respectfully and made her way towards the door, not before she felt a hand grab onto her. She looked at Jeongin, who looked like he was about to cry and she felt her heart clench for a second before she harshly pulled her arm from his grasp.

“Mr Yang,” she said, trying not to stutter, “I don’t think this behaviour is very appropriate.”

“Seolhee, please,” Jeongin pleaded and Seolhee simply sighed deeply as she looked at the others, all who had the same desperate look on their faces.

“Seolhee, we need to talk,” Seungmin said and Seolhee just scoffed, shocking all of them. She had always been so sweet, this new, cold person was not their friend they remembered.

“It’s Miss Park to you,” she said coldly, “and we have nothing to talk about.” At that moment Stray Kids’ manager came in with an apologetic look on his face.

“Boys, I’m sorry but I have to go home urgently, you’ll be able to get back yourselves right?” he asked and they nodded so he quickly left. Seolhee gestured towards the door, but the boys didn’t move. She sighed deeply and looked to Yoojin for help. Yoojin stepped forward and held onto Seolhee’s hand protectively.

“We have been kind enough to sign a business partnership with you,” Yoojin said, “but please do not get too comfortable, you can leave now. We will meet at the next meeting.” The two girls turned around but Jeongin grabbed onto Seolhee’s arm tightly, accidentally gripping her where her razor cut was still not fully healed. She had cut it in such a harsh way that one of her veins had been ruptured and therefore, it had never closed up properly. If any harsh force was put on the bandages, it would start to bleed. Seolhee winced loudly and Jeongin quickly let go of her. She cursed under her breath as she felt her sleeve slowly get wet, and Yoojin realised what had happened.

“Sit down,” she told her quickly and led her back to her seat, “I’ll bring the first aid kit, ok? I’ll be back soon, don’t worry,” and then whispered in her ear “ignore them.” Seolhee nodded as she took her blazer off again, wincing as she saw her white dress shirt’s sleeve covered with blood. She briefly looked up and saw the look of horror on the boys faces as they looked at the scene in front of them.

“Did… did I do that?” Jeongin whispered, and Seolhee sighed as she shook her head, and pulled her sleeve up. The boys seemed unsure of what to do so they decided to sit down again and opted to stare at her. She finally grew annoyed and spoke up.

“Stop staring at me!” she snapped, shocking all of them with the bitterness in her tone.

“You look well,” Hyunjin started but stopped as soon as she shot him a glare.

“Are you sure I don’t look too overweight or ugly?” she mocked and they all looked away in guilt.

“Seolhee, about that-” Chan started but was cut off as she waved her hand in dismissal.

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it,” she said coldly. At that moment, her phone rang and she saw Yoojin’s caller ID. “Yoojin? What happened? Oh you have got to be kidding me! How did the bandages run out? No, there is no way I’m staying in this room! No way… urgh fine, I hate you by the way.” She ended the call and harshly threw her phone on the carpeted floor, watching it bounce off but no damage was done.

“We’re really-” Felix started but was cut off.

“I said,” she started coldly, “I don’t want to hear it. Leave, the meeting is over.”

“No, we won’t leave until we sort this out,” Minho said firmly and Seolhee scoffed.

“What is there to sort out, huh?” she demanded. “The fact that you guys talked crap about me behind my back, when I thought you were by best friends? I showed myself to you in my most vulnerable positions and you took advantage of that and ruined every ounce of self-confidence I had. You lied, saying how I was perfect the way I was but as soon as you found someone prettier and more desirable than me it didn’t even take you a second to replace me like that. You didn’t tell me about your debut, I had to find out through our classmates on Instagram.” She took a deep breath, realising her outburst ruined her calm CEO image. She began with a softer yet firmer tone as she said, “There’s nothing to sort out, we had a friendship, we made good memories that were probably only good for me and probably burdensome for you all. But that’s in the past now, we are colleagues for a few months, and that’s it.”

“Seolhee, we really miss you,” Jisung said, “we miss your friendship. It was hell when you left, but we didn’t even know where we could find you. Please, let’s restart everything.”

“We don’t know what happened, we just became close with Dahee whilst you were at camp and we hung out every day but-”

“Shut up, I’m not here to find out about your friendship with that girl, ok?” Seolhee’s tone was beyond harsh and the boys felt upset that they were the reason behind it. “I genuinely don’t care, I stopped caring about you guys on that day. You don’t owe me any explanations.”

“We promise we didn’t mean anything we said, you were and are perfect!” Chan exclaimed, walking towards her. His heart broke as he saw the way she flinched and held onto her arm. And that was when he realised. “Are… are we the reason for that?” he asked, gesturing towards her arm. She didn’t reply and his suspicion was confirmed. “Seolhee I’m-”

“Don’t apologise,” she said with no expression, “I wasn’t good enough, you were just telling the truth.”

“No, we weren’t, we were stupid and reckless!” Seungmin said and the others nodded desperately. “We were just having a good time with Dahee before and she suddenly started saying those things and we just carried it on, but we didn’t mean any part of what we said.”

“We had no idea you were standing there either,” Felix said and Seolhee scoffed for the umpteenth time that day.

“So you’re saying if I wasn’t there you would have said those things and not been sorry?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “Wow, backstabber much. You’re all pathetic. Anyway, I’m not upset anymore. What hurt was how you constantly lied to me and made fun of me. You broke my trust, forever. You can say you didn’t mean it as much as you want, it doesn’t change the fact that when you found a girl better than me you immediately replaced me, in the most harsh way too. If you had just told me you didn’t want to be friends it wouldn’t have hurt this much. I even baked a cake for you, even though you all know how much I hate baking. I spent ages on the card too, all for nothing.”

“Dahee is in no way better than you,” Jeongin assured desperately, tears running down his cheeks. Seolhee wanted to hug him, but she had been hurt too much. “We’re not even friends anymore, she wanted to be friends with us just because we were in the debut line-up. She’s fake, she doesn’t care about how you do. Please, come back to us.” They saw different emotions pass over Seolhee’s face and they all expected her to accept, but their hearts dropped when she hesitantly shook her head.

“Did.” She muttered.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Minho asked, confused.

“You said Dahee doesn’t care about you the way I do,” she said, keeping her head down so that they couldn’t see the hurt in her eyes, “I did care about you. Past tense. Not anymore. Never again.”

“Seolhee, we regretted it immediately. You’re our best friend, we can’t live without you,” Hyunjin said, his voice cracking as he cried.

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU SAID THOSE THINGS?! HUH?! YOU ONLY REALISED WHEN I LEFT!” It felt good to finally scream and after seeing the guilty looks on their faces as well as their tears, she felt a bit more satisfied. They deserved to feel pain how she had. “You guys all had each other, I had no one after that. Only Yoojin was there to help me. You had each other, but you didn’t think about that once. Screw you, all of you.” At that moment, Yoojin came running in and paused after she saw everyone in tears. She glared at the boys before making her way to Seolhee, putting an arm around her protectively.

“I told you not to hurt her again,” she spat as she helped the crying girl up, “leave, now!” She pressed a cloth to Seolhee’s bleeding arm, trying to stop the blood flow.

“Yoojin, pass me my phone,” Seolhee suddenly said, taking Yoojin by surprise. She took her phone from Yoojin and quickly dialled a number, wincing as her hurt arm contacted Yoojin’s. “Hello? Yes, this is CEO Park speaking from Korea, how are you? I phoned to tell you, I’ll be coming to our base in the USA for a bit. We still have the Blackpink collaboration to think about, as well as Tiffany Young.” she eyed the boys as she said that and their hearts shattered; she was leaving again, because of them. “Yes, I will leave somebody else in charge of the Stray Kids collaboration, it’s not a problem. My flight should be after a few days, I’ll book one today. Ok, see you. Good. Thank you, take care.” She turned her phone off and looked at Yoojin. “We’re going to the USA, make sure to pack ok? We’ll be gone for a while.” She turned to look at the members, whose eyes were red and puffy as they tried to form words to stop her from leaving. “This collaboration will be given to one of my colleagues, we have no reason to talk anymore, I’ll be leaving after a few days. Take care and good luck.” She quickly left, not giving them a chance to say anything. Before she walked out the door, she turned around and said “This is our last meeting. And please do not try and revive our friendship, it died and left a long time ago.” Then the door closed and the boys were left, suffocated in their own wrong doings. They couldn’t believe they had messed up so badly. None of them had wanted to let go of Seolhee, they hadn’t meant a word of what they had said about her to Dahee, but they knew they would never be forgiven.

“I- I don’t want to lose her,” Jeongin wept as he cried into his hands.

“Im afraid we already have,” Seungmin said as they all stared at the door with broken hearts. Broken hearts that no one but that girl could cure, but she would never do that. She would make sure they suffered just as she had. The only difference was that they had each other to hold onto when she had only had herself. They had screwed up, and now they had to face the consequences.

A.N// Thank you so much for reading the story, please give me some feedback if you can! I am currently working on a Stray Kids Mafia series and it will be a Minho fanfiction with the other members as well as many other groups making small entrances. I hope you all support that story of mine too and I will release it soon, maybe after I release a few more short stories/drabbles like this one :)

#bangchan #leeknow #changbin #hyunjin #felix #han #seungmin #jeongin #straykidsfanfiction #straykids #straykidsstory

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yeonchi · 4 years ago

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Kisekae Insights #17: Angelina Ballerina

It’s about time I started the second run of Kisekae Insights after taking a break for the past few months. My objective is to hopefully cover Gokaiger, Decade and Soulbound this year, but there are some things that I need to cover before that because they are needed in order to understand certain aspects.

Like Fifi and Roary, Angelina Ballerina was implemented early on in my personal project and the characters continue to play big roles to this day. At the time, I was playing Warriors Orochi 2 on the PSP, which introduced me to the characters of the Samurai Warriors series. As a result, some of these guys got Japanese warrior names whereas the rest got Chinese warrior names.

In case you haven’t noticed, yes, I have (predominately) used the CGI-animated sequel, The Next Steps, in this project. Watching the sequel was how I got into this series a decade ago; while I have heard about the original 2D-animated series, it never really appealed to me, which is why I prefer this version over that. And look, I know there are people who don’t like the sequel for various reasons, but you are free to have your opinion as long as you respect the opinions of others. Don’t worry, characters from the original series have been implemented as well.

Setting the record straight (voice actors)

I’m putting this list before the break because this is really important. Here are the characters’ voice actors for the UK and US versions of The Next Steps:

Angelina Mouseling: Charlotte Spencer (UK/US)

Alice Nimbletoes: Rachael Louise Miller (UK)/Naomi McDonald (US)

Marco Quesillo: Louis Williams (UK)/Jules de Jongh (US)

Gracie: Charlie Cameron (UK)/Jo Wyatt (US)

Viki/Vici: Emily Dormer (UK)/Jules de Jongh (US)

AJ/AZ: Lizzie Waterworth (UK)/Larissa Murray (US)

Ms Mimi: Larissa Murray (US)

Maurice Mouseling: Simon Mattacks (UK/US)

Matilda Mouseling: Emma Tate (UK/US)

Polly Mouseling: Leah Zabari (UK/US)

Mrs Thimble: Beverly Klein (UK/US)

Alright, time to rant about the English dubs of this series. See, because the characters of this series are not credited under their voice actors, it can be hard to exactly determine who voiced who (a pain I know all too well in regards to Sea Princesses). On top of that, because there are different English voices for the US and the UK (because they don’t want American kids to end up speaking with British accents or vice versa), it can be easy to miss things or mess them up. Some US voice actors are based in the UK, which can throw things off as well.

Just as there are UK-produced children’s shows that get redubbed for the US, there are US-produced children’s shows that get redubbed for the UK (particularly on Nick Jr). In Australia, we tend to get the “original” version of the dub depending on where the show (or its source materials) originated – if it originally came from the UK, then we get the UK dub, but if it originally came from the US, we get the US dub. In the case of Angelina Ballerina, we get the UK dub and as such, I implemented the series with the assumption that the characters would speak as they did in the UK dub. As such, Marco and Gracie don’t speak in Hispanic or French accents.

Due to my initial ignorance and lack of information, I ended up crediting the characters’ US voice actors for Marco, Gracie and Ms Mimi instead of their UK voice actors. Even worse, I thought Naomi Wilkinson voiced Angelina until a friend of mine tweeted her years ago and confirmed that she didn’t voice Angelina. Also, the really funny thing is that there are people who unironically believed that Hilary Duff and Justin Bieber voiced Viki and AZ in the series. If only we all knew this one simple rule: If an actor isn’t credited in the series/episode, then they didn’t have a role in the series/episode. I did manage to work out the UK voice actors for the other characters, but why Alice’s voice actor was different in both versions despite her voice sounding similar I’ll never understand.

For some reason, I have been unable to find out who Ms Mimi’s UK voice actor is because nobody in the credits has owned up to voicing her. However, if I really had to guess, I would say that Emma Tate voiced her because even though the Scottish accent threw me off, she sounds a bit like Matilda (Angelina’s mum). As for Marco and Gracie’s UK voice actors, Louis Williams and Charlie Cameron, trying to find resumes or records of their past work has been impossible so I wasn’t able to find any proof, but I eventually did. Louis William’s LinkedIn profile mentions that he voiced Marco (he’s an English teacher in Japan now, shock of all shocks) and while Charlie Cameron doesn’t have a site or official profile of her own (why), I managed to link her roles for Dark Souls and Poppy Cat on IMDb to BTVA.

In the Moushouden Series, I ended up “recasting” Marco and Ms Mimi while keeping Gracie’s voice actor the same. Marco and Ms Mimi played major roles in my stories and I needed credits for them. “Getting” Louis Williams to “reprise” his role would have been impossible because he’s not an actor anymore, though it wouldn’t have been a big problem if I had found out earlier that he voiced Marco. Likewise, if I had managed to guess Ms Mimi’s UK voice actor earlier, then maybe I wouldn’t have needed to keep scratching my head all these years.

What’s in a name?

There has been quite a bit of speculation regarding the characters’ middle and last names, and I say “speculation” because there don’t seem to be any official sources that confirm it or the only official sources available can’t be accessed from the Wayback Archive because Adobe Flash is dead. Though the names were on the Wikipedia page at some stage, the only place where they exist now is on a poorly-maintained wiki of the series on Fandom. It is possible that Angelina and Alice’s middle and last names can be backed up because they were in the original series, but even then, I’m unable to do that due to lack of information (seriously, even the official website redirects to Mattel’s website, the absolute sellouts). So please take these names with a grain of salt:

Angelina Jeanette Mouseling

Alice Bridgette Nimbletoes

Marco Fernando Quesillo

Grace Madeleine “Gracie” le Chateau

Viktoria Andrea “Viki” Whiskerson

Adrian Zander James “A.Z.” Smithers (even though an official PDF from PBS WNET13 states that A.Z. stands for “Adam Zachariah”)

Mimi Jane Squigglytail

Maurice Rupert Mouseling

Matilda Felicity Mouseling

Polly Anne Mouseling

Harriet Cecily Thimble

Other stuff before I begin

In late 2015, there was talk of Angelina Ballerina getting relaunched in 2017 by Mattel and 9 Story Media Group. By 2017, however, nothing really came of it, or at least nothing significant that we could see. 9 Story currently have the distribution rights to both the 2D and CGI series, clips and episodes have been uploaded on the official Angelina Ballerina YouTube channel (a mix of UK and US versions, with Brazilian Portuguese and Latin American Spanish dubs on other channels) and the original books created by Katharine Holabird have been republished in the past two years.

Not seeing anything in 2017 has allowed Angelina Ballerina’s involvement in my personal project to flourish, but only time will tell whether anything else will come of this so-called relaunch. This series would probably have gone down the path of Fabio Yabu and Sea Princesses if it wasn’t so well-known all around the world.

The 9 Story pages show that there are some specials for the series. While the 2D series does have three specials, I could only find two movies in the CGI series that are fully original stories and not just episode compilations, namely The Shining Star Trophy and Dreams Do Come True. They don’t seem to be available on YouTube and the only online versions I could find use the US voices, meaning that a UK dub of these movies is unknown.

If you follow Gail Chord Schuler/Gabrielle Chana/The Church of Gail online, you might know that there is a Satanic Jesuit villain named Angelina Ballerina, depicted as a woman modelling a ballerina costume with wings. Rest assured that she is NOT the Angelina we all know and love, as Gail confirms in the comments of one of her videos (though there is a chance that trolls could have fed her that information).

All About Angelina

As I stated in #12, Maurice and the Takeda Army of Mouseland were in conflict with the Salacians before the Dimensional Merge. Because the time in their world, AB-561, was running faster compared to other worlds, they ended up on our Earth in 2009. In both timelines, Angelina and her family and friends became Hiroki and Parker’s comrades. In the first timeline, Angelina had an adventure with the Third Doctor. The second timeline is where things get detailed.

Before the Archangel Tunnel System was activated, there was no other way to get to Chipping Cheddar from Hong Kong, so when the Takeda Army were brought to this world, they had to do what they could to survive. Eventually, they ended up being controlled by another local army and used as their mascots. When Parker went to them to seek an alliance, he discovered this and helped the Takeda Army escape, which led them to pledge their allegiance to Parker.

Over the next two years, Parker and Hiroki became great friends with the Takeda Army’s officers. In 2010, Ms Mimi became disillusioned with Parker when she realised that he only seemed to care about fighting and enjoying himself on the battlefield. When the JIMPS were formed, Ms Mimi began to side with them as she saw Minnie and the others as the better strategists, but she had a newfound respect for Parker when he made peace with Minnie following their battle against each other.

When Squid Girl turns Minnie against Parker, however, Ms Mimi sides with the former again and a split occurs within the Takeda. Ms Mimi became one of the Sanada Army’s commanders while Gracie, AJ and Viki surrendered to the Sanada. Angelina was the first officer Parker found after being separated from Hiroki. Her family was being guarded by Alice and Marco before Parker arrives with reinforcements from the Date Army.

Months after Parker’s death and resurrection, the Sanada Army finally fell. Ms Mimi and the Takeda defectors rejoin their former comrades; Ms Mimi finally admits that she was a fool who never really understood Parker because she believed in loyalty and discipline.

With Parker’s army disbanded and the Flowertots returning home, the Takeda became the only close friends Hiroki had left. They supported him in his fight against Girl Power and the Teiro Army, so much so that they were willing to accept him in their ranks if he decided to leave his secondary school army. Ultimately, Hiroki declined their offer and became a ronin.

The Next Step

The Takeda Army eventually managed to resettle in Mouseland which was transported to Shizuoka Prefecture between the Archangel Tunnels to the Shikoku region and Cardiff. The Takeda Army had no significant relevance in 2013, but Angelina and her family attended Hiroki and Akari’s wedding, which was held in Chipping Cheddar (Kikugawa).

In 2014, the Takeda Army rose back to significance again as a result of events in real life (see #16). Following the Battle of Mikatagahara and Akari’s betrayal of Hiroki, Angelina joined the Doctor (again) as his companion. Later that year, Maurice would attempt another expedition to Kyōto when Girl Power forces stationed around Nagashino Castle in Nagoya would block his army’s path. When the Doctor arrives with Hiroki and Angelina, Hiroki gathers up some reinforcements before the Takeda Army splits up into three groups; one group defending the main camp, one group laying siege to the castle and one group attacking Girl Power forces stationed in nearby Shitaragahara. Despite the Takeda suffering severe casualties at the hands of the superior Girl Power army, Hiroki charges into Nagashino Castle alone and fights the enemy commanders before leaving his drones to crash into the castle keep.

Soon after, Angelina would participate in prototype testing for the Superhero Project, becoming the Pink Samurai Ranger alongside the Doctor and his other companions as they fought Girl Power in a parallel world. Following that adventure, Angelina would be summoned back by her father upon hearing word that Girl Power were preparing for an all-out siege on Yokohama. The Takeda Army allied with their old enemies, the Salacian (Uesugi) Army as they fought at Sekigahara and Ōsaka Castle. After the world was destroyed and restored, the Takeda were one of the armies that helped UNIT defend Yokohama from Girl Power.

Though Angelina stopped being the Doctor’s companion after 2014, she would regain that role again in 2017 when she and Alice officially joined the Superhero Project. Angelina and Marco make a cameo appearance in the Series 10 premiere as a couple and that’s the only time their relationship is brought up (I think that ship was hinted at in the series but not explicitly shown).

Having been selected, Angelina and Alice joined the Gokaigers as GokaiPink and GokaiGreen respectively. Their fighting styles were adapted to fit with their characters and the original Gokaiger footage; on top of predominately wielding guns, GokaiPink incorporates ballet into her fighting while GokaiGreen clumsily incorporates gymnastics which she makes up for with stealth and trickery.

As for the rest of the mouselings, they were hired by BOARD to become Kamen Riders as follows:

Kamen Rider Blade – Marco

Kamen Rider Garren – AJ

Kamen Rider Leangle – Viki

Kamen Rider Glaive – Ms Mimi

Kamen Rider Larc – Gracie

Kamen Rider Lance – Polly

Although not as significant compared to Fifi and Roary, the mouselings do play a significant role in the project. As with many obscure series I’ve encountered, finding accurate information is a daunting task. Though I have managed to find information that I haven’t been able to find in the past, there are times where I am still unable to do so, which results in me having to speculate missing information (usually by observation) that may or may not be correct. This is not so much a problem in Angelina Ballerina compared to Sea Princesses, but regardless, it’s better to have every piece of information confirmed than have even one piece of speculated information.

#kisekae insights #angelina ballerina

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watchathon · 4 years ago

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Stitch Day Special: Lilo & Stitch

In case you’re finding this post just by browsing the tags I’ve used for this post, this is the Watch-a-Thon, a blog where I’m hoping to watch an episode of a show every one-to-two days, with a short blog post where I give my thoughts on what I’ve just seen. Each new point starts with a hyphen and a bolded first word.

- Like so.

But today? Well, today I’ve got an extra-special post in the wings about a movie, one of my favorite Disney movies, starring my absolute favorite Disney character: Lilo & Stitch!

- I like the variation on the Disney logo. That is the kind of stuff that they just couldn’t do with their new big fancy CGI logo.

- No clue why Jumba tried to deny that he created an experiment. I don’t much mind since it led to a funny joke, but c’mon, evil genius, you should be smart enough to plead guilty.

- “I would never, ever... make more than one.” *glances meaningfully in the direction of the series*

- “What is that monstrosity...?” He’s a cute widdle fluffball, that’s what he is!

- “Meega nala kweesta!” Canonically, this translates to “I want to destroy”, but that seems a little lukewarm for the reaction he got. Maybe a looser translation is in order...

There could be an entire aristocrats joke in those three words. The whole script to Batman v Superman. The opening notes to “Never Gonna Give You Up”...

Or maybe just “bitch”.

- Blood work is a lot different in space...

- Weird to imagine given the rest of the franchise, but Gantu was once a respected captain of the galactic federation.

- It’s easy to perceive Stitch as a dumb brute, but he’s pretty smart. He connected the dots all on his own, within minutes of his imprisonment, that if the guns are locked onto his DNA, he can use his saliva to trick them. Jumba wasn’t kidding when he boasted of his experiment’s intelligence.

- And not only was Gantu a captain, Pleakley was an expert on the planet Earth. Weird, innit...?

- “Are [humans] intelligent?” “No.” An exchange that only hurts more with every year.

- Love the implication that Pleakley was just suggesting several different relatives to assist with the capture of Stitch from when they were on the deck up until they got to the prison where Jumba was held.

- Now this is what we (or rather TVTropes) call an establishing character moment. A fish floats by holding a sandwich in its mouth, implying (soon confirming) that Lilo was the one to give it the sandwich, before rushing to the hula practice that she was late for, stopping to take a picture of a tourist along the way.

- And then after she arrives at hula practice, she explains that she had to give Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich because he controls the weather.

- No clue why the other girls are disgusted by Scrump. I always wanted a Scrump when I was a little lass.

- “Did you ever kill anyone?” Lilo asks the right questions.

- Nani, y’could’ve avoided this if you’d given a thumbs up instead...

- I don’t get the glare Cobra gives Nani after Lilo says that her friends need to be punished. Voodoo isn’t a failure of parenting. In many cases, at least...

- Licking Nani, growling after her capture, Lilo already has a lot in common with Stitch.

- Lucky that Lilo is such a quirky kid. The scene (semi-)explaining why she takes pictures of tourists was deleted, but it doesn’t feel like anything is missing because she already has a few habits that just plain inexplicable, like feeding Pudge, practicing voodoo with a pickle jar...

- Lilo wishing for an angel because of how lonely she is, that’s a sad moment. But also kinda funny in hindsight after she sarcastically names Stitch’s love interest Angel in the series.

- Lord give me the undisturbed...ness, of that frog who watched Stitch get run over by several trucks and only tilted its head.

- If they thought Stitch was dead, why did they keep it in the shelter? I mean, Lilo would probably adopt a dead dog, but she’s the outlier.

- I like how Jumba programmed, as part of Stitch’s destructive tendencies, an urge to steal everybody’s left shoe.

- You can just about pinpoint the moment where Stitch’s heart drops at learning that he’s on an island with no major cities.

- Just occurred to me that the badness level is red, and Stitch’s evil counterparts in the series (627 and Leroy) are both red.

- Ah, David. One of the best Disney love interests, mostly because he isn’t entirely a love interest. There is a mutual attraction, but Nani just isn’t ready for that with everything going on in her life, and David respects that and is happy to be a friend.

- I like how everyone except Lilo heavily suspects that Stitch isn’t a dog.

- Ohhh, the thought of Stitch having drank coffee. I mean, I’d love to see it, but it’d be Hell for Nani.

- Stitch looks just plain adorable with a lei.

- Well, Lilo, you did tell Stitch he should create something. And he did, he just destroyed his creation afterward.

- Pleakley is a gender-nonconforming icon.

- The first time we see Stitch doing something without even the intention of destroying anything is when he finds the book about the Ugly Duckling. It’s clear that he’s fascinated just by looking at it. And when Lilo explains the story? It resonates with him. Or, well, perhaps he wants it to resonate with him.

- I wish I had an evil koala dog that played records.

- Are we sure that “Meega nala kweesta” means “I want to destroy”? Maybe it means “I was born to dance”, ‘cause Stitch learns about dancing and in less than a minute he’s already an expert.

- I imagine this montage, or slightly earlier, would be when that deleted scene of Lilo trolling the obnoxious racist tourists originally came into play. And I like this scene, but, I do wish that scene hadn’t gotten cut. And I wish that they fully animated it and inserted it into the movie like Warner Bros did with The Iron Giant.

- Nothing cheers me up more than this scene of Stitch and his newfound family going surfing. And especially since Stitch is aquaphobic. He’s very much aware that he cannot swim, and likely wouldn’t survive if he fell off the board into the ocean. But even he eventually gets into the spirit of it, asks Lilo himself to go surfing, and enjoys a nice bonding moment with his family. And David.

- Of course Jumba and Pleakley had to ruin a perfectly sweet moment.

- And so we transition from a heartwarming wholesome moment, to a heartbreaking tearful moment. You can just see Nani holding back tears as she says that she needs to take Lilo home.

As for Stitch, David probably didn’t even realize that Stitch could understand him when he said that Lilo and Nani had a chance until Stitch came along. But Stitch did understand, and he’s visibly hurt by the idea. He always wanted to destroy, but in this moment, he’s ashamed of how he might have destroyed Lilo’s family.

- And the Ugly Ducking metaphor comes back, when in this moment, as Stitch is coming back to a family that he fears he may have ruined, he sees a lone duck... before that duck is followed by a big family of ducklings.

- Lilo says that Stitch cries at night. So, it would seem that even before he completely learned how to be nice, Stitch wasn’t entirely emotionless.

- This whole act of the film is heart-wrenching. First Nani gets confirmation that she and Lilo will be separated, then Stitch starts to fear that he may have caused it. Then because of that? Stitch leaves, taking only the Ugly Duckling book with him. And he can only see in himself the page of the Duckling, lost and crying.

- Then Jumba tells Stitch, who’s already in a bad place emotionally, that he was made to destroy, has no family, and could never have one.

- I don’t want to think about what happened to that chainsaw.

- There’s a certain feeling that comes up in the middle of this fight scene, where you realize that a house is being destroyed, a house belonging to a family that was very much at risk of separation. And you realize that this will only hurt their case beyond any repair.

- If the past day hadn’t been bad enough, Stitch is told by his best friend Lilo that he ruined everything, and to get away.

- And so Nani really does have her sister taken away. Now, taken away by aliens is a lot different than taken away by social services. It’s worse. This way Nani knows that Lilo definitely won’t get a loving family, and Nani will definitely never see her again.

- The confusion is visible on Jumba and Pleakley when Stitch goes and comforts Nani with a quote about family. All they know about Stitch is that he was made to destroy. And then, once he’s captured, he does just about the opposite.

- “Ih.” To this day I sometimes say Ih on reflex when asked a yes-or-no question. Guess I watched this movie way too many times as a kid, huh? ...I regret nothing.

- Originally, the big red plane-looking thing was supposed to just be a plane, and it would’ve flown through a city. And it was changed because it was too soon after 9/11. But me personally, I think the big red thing is real cool, and I like it flying through the valleys.

- “Stitch is unconscious.” I like that Jumba calls Stitch by his name here. In the series, he always calls Stitch “626″ but his name is Stitch. And I like the rare occasion when that’s respected by the mad genius who created him.

- I want to believe that Stitch dodged that laser for the sake of the frog he was holding more than for his own sake. Stitch is strong enough that a few moments later, he survives an explosion of a whole truck that he’s lying on top of.

- Stitch proudly calling himself “cute and fluffy” is another thing I just love. Might be reading too much into it, but I like that he can call himself by those descriptors and still have total confidence in his ability to kick Gantu’s patookie.

- My favorite scene in the movie, and the scene I took the picture from.

Stitch corrects the Grand Councilwoman about his name. And when he’s told that he needs to go in the ship (the implication being that he’ll be punished like he was meant to be at the beginning), he doesn’t rebel or try to escape. He only politely asks that he be allowed to say goodbye.

He explains that his family is “little and broken, but still good”, both explaining it to the councilwoman and reassuring Lilo and Nani.

This is the ultimate display of how Stitch has grown. And he grew because, despite what Jumba said, Stitch could find, and did find, the one true place he belonged: With a good, loving family.

- The Grand Councilwoman is clearly remorseful that they’ll have to separate Stitch from his family, but she can’t bend the law for this one case. And she doesn’t, but it just so happens that, legally speaking, Lilo owns Stitch. And, well, what self-respecting Grand Councilwoman would steal a child’s property?

- A lot of people (including middle-school me) say that the stuff with Stitch and the aliens get in the way of the story of Lilo and Nani. I disagree. These two stories are intertwined, both about people wanting to stay with the family where they know they belong. I just couldn’t, at all, imagine one without the other.

- Now this is the kind of ending I love. It’s become common for animated movies, sequels in particular, to end on the two main characters getting separated. But here? Stitch is now a definitive part of the family, and won’t be separated from them anytime soon. Anime? What anime?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I guess I’ll be doing this on the rare occasion I cover movies...?

Anyway, this is a great movie. A modern classic. And one of very few things that doesn’t just hold up from when I was a kid, it gets better. When I was a tiny kid, I was only interested in the space aliens. When I was in my early teens, I thought the aliens were kiddy stuff.

But nowadays, I can truly appreciate it. I can appreciate how both aspects are vital to the movie. Lilo and Stitch are both equally important. You can’t have one without the other.

And most of all, I can appreciate the story of Stitch (as well as Jumba and Pleakley) finding a family, and Lilo (as well as Nani) saving theirs from being torn apart.

Lilo & Stitch brings me to tears of both joy and sadness every time I watch it. And I guarantee I’ll be watching it many more times in the future.

...Does it still count as a Stitch Day special if I’m posting after midnight? No, probably not. I thought I’d only take two hours, then I took four and a half. Guess that means I had more thoughts than I thought I did!

#Lilo and Stitch #Lilo & Stitch #language #Jumba Jookiba #Stitch #Experiment 626 #Captain Gantu #Wendy Pleakley #Lilo Pelekai #Scrump #Nani Pelekai #Cobra Bubbles #David Kawena #Grand Councilwoman #long post #my new best post yet #Movie

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rebelscum-2187 · 4 years ago

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So after nearly 22 years of life on this planet, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am high functioning autistic. I believe I fell through the cracks of an early diagnosis for the following reasons:

1.) I am Female (I learned how to mask myself very early on)

2.) I have a gifted IQ (above 130) and was classified as such in 4th grade so no one considered that I could be both ASD and intellectually gifted.

I am in the beginning stages of unmasking and am currently seeking an official diagnosis. Right now, I’m trying to write down everything I know about my neurodivergent experience so here’s a list of things I’ve experienced and believe to be relevant. If you can relate or you understand please comment and share! I’m new to this community and it feels so good to finally meet people who understand and can relate. Ok, Here we go.

“So the general population doesn’t memorize scripts to movies or watch the same one every day for a year?”

“People think it’s weird that I prefer to have subtitles on when I watch stuff, even though I don’t have damaged hearing”

“I watch movies with subtitles because I won’t understand what’s said if I don’t read it. I have no hearing issues.”

“I cannot hear/understand someone if I have one ear bud in and one out. Too much sensory input at once.”

“I thought I had a hearing deficit because I literally could not understand people at church or parties or other places with a lot of background noise, and I was so confused when they told me my hearing was normal.”

“I love star wars. Not just love but I could tell you what planet each character is from and what kind of ship they use, what model droid that one is and I will gladly talk about it all day if you let me. Everyone now gets me Star Wars stuff for my birthday and holidays”

“Eye contact is so uncomfortable for me that sometimes it ‘burns’ to maintain it, but then I overcompensate and stare too intensely. Over the years, being female, I’ve forced myself to make eye contact for a certain number of seconds and then look away a certain number of seconds but I’m concentrating so hard on that, that I don’t remember anything that was said to me.”

“Giving me verbal directions is a special kind of hell. I need it written down.”

“I can memorize pictures of things and exactly where every kid sat in my 10th grade US history class as well as my 9th grade geometry class.”

“I never fit in anywhere, in my childhood, most of my adolescence, except the swim team and my new church.”

“Team sports are the worst. I can’t communicate fast enough, I’m bad with hand eye coordination and keeping track of a ball. I excelled in individual sports and fell in love with swimming.”

“I often found it much easier to make friends with older kids because I could have intelligent conversations with them and their good social skills could make up for my lack of social skills.”

“But, I had a few friends that were considerably younger who I could still play imaginatively with dolls when I was 13 and one particular friend was 9. I had a lot of trouble getting a long with her sister who was the same age as me.”

“It physically pains me to hear someone mispronounce a word, spell something wrong, or make a grammatical mistake. I corrected my cousin A LOT when we were kids, she frequently got mad and I couldn’t understand why. My grandma would tell me to stop because correcting people is rude.”

“One of my special interests as a kid was dolphins. I was 5-6 years old and I remember being so excited when my mom let me check out like 10 books from the library and I read them quickly and multiple times.”

“I corrected a teacher one time about dolphins. She said dolphins weren’t whales and I knew FOR A FACT that ‘dolphins were a type of small whale’ because I read it in one of my books. She laughed at me and so did the rest of the class and I felt stupid even though I was right. This led to me suppressing my knowledge and real self and ultimately more masking.”

“As per that last one, my memory is impeccable.”

“I had another special interest in dogs when I got a bit older. My mom bought me a book with every kind of breed of dog, where they came from, their temperament, their size, everything. I can still, to this day, tell you the breed of dog just by looking at it.”

“I always wanted a best friend but never had one. I had groups of friends but never someone who would call me their best friend. When I got a boyfriend in high school, I was so excited because he called me his best friend and he was mine and I finally had that feeling reciprocated. He also had a gifted IQ and dyslexia, ADHD and a few other things so we understood each other quite well.”

“I can’t tell if someone is flirting with me because I can’t read between the lines. I also don’t know how to flirt because if I like a guy too much I get soooo nervous and I stumble over my words and it’s a disaster.”

“When I liked this guy (last year, 2019) I would freeze up so bad when I talked to him that I rehearsed every conversation I wanted to have with him so I wouldn’t mess it up. I would write topics in the notes section of my phone before hanging out with him so I’d remember what to ask him. It made for very awkward and forced conversations and probably drove him away.”

“Sarcasm and jokes almost always go over my head. The boyfriend I had in high school was very funny and outgoing but used a lot of sarcasm and it always caused disagreements because I took him seriously when he was being sarcastic.”

“I talk slowly and very monotone.”

“I have no difficulty reading in my head and can read/comprehend it well, but reading aloud is difficult and I often stumble over words and mess up.”

“I need directions repeated multiple times before I understand.”

“I went to the beach to hang out with some church friends yesterday. They all play spike ball and are so confused as to why I sit there and don’t play. I’ve tried playing spike ball but it involves way too much hand eye coordination and I’m so bad at it that it’s embarrassing. So I don’t play.”

“That same night, a group of them said ‘let’s play uno!’ And I was so happy to play something familiar that didn’t involve a lot of coordination. Then they said ‘we’re playing SPICY uno, right?’ And immediately my heart sank because I knew they were playing a different way that I wasn’t familiar with. Again, receiving verbal directions was hell and I didn’t understand it. I was so bad at it and wasn’t getting it, and in the middle of the game I had the urge to cry. I wanted to cry because I couldn’t even get this right. I suppressed the urge, of course, so they wouldn’t think I was even more weird than the already suspected. Another group of people that I wouldn’t fit in with.”

“Making friends has always been so difficult. Once I make a good friend I hang on to them for as long as possible even if they’re not very nice because I’m scared I’ll have to make a new one if I lose them. And we all know how hard making new friends is for me.”

“I’m a perfectionist. Especially with my art projects. When I took a painting class I realized I do it the wrong way. You’re supposed to paint layer by layer over the entire canvas and focus on small details at the very end. I work on one small area at a time and do small details too soon. I often spend way too much time on small details before I realize that the larger shape of the object isn’t proportionate and then it’s too late.”

“I won’t even attempt tasks if I know I can’t do them perfectly.”

“I have perfect pitch. I don’t know if that has anything to do with autism or that I just started music lessons when I was young. I can tune instruments perfectly without a tuner or reference note and I never understood why my orchestra teacher had me play the A key on the piano over and over again while she walked around and tuned everyone’s instruments when I could do it without any reference. I can hear it in my head.”

“When my parents got me a keyboard at age 7-8, they were impressed because I could sit down, without listening to any song and find the notes of a song I liked by ear. I still do that today but my piano is very out of tune and it bothers me.”

“Autistic boys tend to isolate and not care about concealing their stims or weird behavior but girls don’t. I am a ‘loner’ and always have been but I want so badly to belong and have friends and socialize, but I’ve always been so bad at it that I strike out every time. I often drink at social gatherings because it helps me loosen up and talk more freely. I guess it helps me lose the mask for a while.”

“I HATE people touching me. I’ve always hated it and still hate it to this day unless it’s someone I’m super comfortable with. I’ve been told I have the ‘dead fish hand shake’ and I’m an awkward hugger. My friend picked me up from behind and carried me for a few seconds because we were all goofing off and having fun but afterwards I was so mad at him I got really quiet and didn’t talk for a while. I told him later on the ride home that if he did that again I would slap him. “

“Everyone thinks it’s weird that I don’t like touching people, and some of my friends who also don’t like touching people were abused and I always thought, ‘there had to be a reason, maybe I was abused as a kid and repressed it.’ It’s been so long and I’ve finally realized that maybe it’s just because I have Aspergers or ASD. “

“When I make sarcastic remarks or jokes I often have to clarify because I say them in such a monotone way that people think I’m serious.”

“I’ve always joked that I’m just really clumsy and uncoordinated, and chalked it up to being tall and lanky. That’s why swimming was the perfect sport for me. Little to no risk of injury and not much hand eye coordination needed to be good at it. Just hours of practice, technique and endurance.”

“I also injure myself quite a lot because I’m ‘a klutz.’”

“Stims: I scratch my head and then smell my fingers and I will do this for hours if I am able (I know that one is weird so I only do it at home) popping my knuckles a ridiculous amount of times when I feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to do with my hands. I twirl my hair constantly (that one is pretty socially acceptable so I do it in class nonstop). I tap my foot or bounce my leg, I make weird facial expressions and forget to hide those. People notice but they often think it’s funny because I’ll make a face if someone says something dumb and make an expression that people seem to relate to. I scrunch my nose if I’m uncomfortable or just whenever.”

Special interests: Star Wars, Disney (I know every word to every Disney song and I watch animated Disney movies over and over again, like literally every night) dolphins, the ocean, dogs, theology/the Bible.

“With my art work, and other things, I will get so focused on a painting that I will work non stop for 8-9 hours (all day basically) and not eat because I’m so focused that I forget to eat.”

“I think I slur my words a lot and sometimes my friends will laugh and be like ‘did you just say ____.?!?!’And I’ll clarify and they will continue laughing and say ‘oh it sounded like you said this.’ I hate when that happens.”

“Loud noises really bother me. I jump if I hear an unexpected loud noise and I hate people yelling, even if it’s not directed at me, it makes me want to cry. “

“I loved the color blue so much as a kid (I still do) but my entire wardrobe was basically different shades of blue t-shirts. I also only ever wore baggy t-shirts and baggy cargo shorts (I kinda dressed like a boy) because it was comfortable and I didn’t like getting comments if I looked “cute today”. I hated the attention. I also never ever wore my hair down to school. It always had to be up in a tight pony tail. I still don’t like my hair being in my face to this day and wear it up almost every day.”

“The other day, I was hanging out with a friend and she was trying to tell a story but I kept getting distracted and interrupting her. She said, ‘Emily, you kind of interrupt people a lot.’ At first I was hurt, but then I realized it’s not entirely my fault and it’s an autistic thing.”

“I mask so much that I have rehearsed responses to social interactions and will often get so nervous or start speaking from the script before I realize I’ve said the wrong response. Of course I’ll think about it all day after that and think of ‘well great, so and so thinks I’m weird now.’”

#autistic community #autistic life #aspergers #autistic problems #autistic girl

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prosopopeya · 4 years ago

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New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go? food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s.

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

#happy new year #annual meme

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19mrs-barnes17 · 4 years ago

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Assistance

Summary: Castiel find himself helping a stranger despite her background.

Part:1/1

Pairing: Castiel x witch!reader

Warnings: minor cursing, arguing, mention of hunting

Word count: 1,826

A/N: I selected a list of dialogue prompts and characters, @cantnkrusshedevil matched them. This is 1 of 9. (prompt in bold)

Your fingers slid along the spines and the binding, the covers rough beneath your touch. Letters ran through your mind as you mouthed the call number until your finger fell into an empty slot between books. Not there, but not checked out. Someone stole it.

“Bastard.” You muttered under your breath as you scanned the surrounding shelves, praying silently that you had misjudged the situation and the previous reader couldn’t comprehend the dewy decimal system. “I’m fucked.”

Walking up to the desk you took note of a gentleman in a tan trench coat emerging through the glass doors and immediately disappearing amongst the stacks. The elderly woman sitting atop a high stool glowered down at you unflinchingly, clearly not believing you as you explained her book was missing. She waved you off, slowly descending to the floor and making for the shelf you had just searched. When the woman emerged she was furious, shouting for you to leave her store immediately.

You were too stressed about finding the copy of that book to care, it was of utmost importance you did. The lives of your family were in your hands, their protection fading as you ran around searching for it.

A graveled voice calls out to you but you refuse to face it, no time could be wasted on some man who ‘just had to tell you how beautiful you looked’.

“I have it.” Slowing to a stop you turned on the heel of your shoe to look the stranger in the eye, nearly forgetting to hold your ground as you almost slipped into the pools of crystal blue. “The book, I was the one who took it.”

“Who are you?” That book was a grimoire, one from your family in fact, and anyone desperate enough to steal it was not likely any friend of yours. You narrowed your eyes and took a single step forward, hands at your side for the time being. “What are you?”

“My name is Castiel, I’m an angel of the lord.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” He tilted his head to the side, eyes betraying his polite demeanor clearly having had this conversation one too many times.

“I am not.”

“Sarcasm, not very angelic.” He sighed, eyes moving to watch those passing by to their cars. “So… where is it?”

“It was taken from me.” You wanted to scream, of course it wasn’t going to be that easy. “Why do you want it?”

“Uh-uh, I speak the truth and you smite or something. I’d rather live to find another way, thanks.” He watched you curiously, gaze trailing to the sky as a soft sigh escaped his lips.

“I promise I will not smite you if you tell me the truth.” You laugh and he returns his focus to your eyes, bewilderment painting his features.

“What, am I supposed to believe you just because you’re an angel?” You take a deep breath before tearing your eyes from his. “I don’t trust anyone, especially not a higher being. I’ve read that story too many times to believe it could ever change.”

“I’m different.”

“Welcome to the club.” He stands silent, almost as still as a statue whilst his mind deliberated upon a thought.

“You’re a witch.”

“Clever boy, well done blue eyes. But, you really needn’t say it with such disdain, don’t forget that you too are classified as a monster.” He seems thrown off by the nickname, as you begin to walk away he calls out once more.

“I know where it is.” You stopped, glancing over your shoulder at the man as he began to catch up. “I didn’t mean to offend you, but I have yet to come across a witch who did not serve only herself.”

“Is that supposed to be comforting? I would’ve thought an angel would have more sauve.” You walked around him, his voice beginning to become a pestering annoyance as you made your way to your car. “Listen, if you have anything helpful to say then just say it. Otherwise, I’d rather not stand around as you accuse and insult me.”

“Why do you want it?”

“If you ask me that one more time I might just get a little less friendly.” You faced him one final time and the empathy in his eyes stuck a chord, but not well enough. “Why do you have to know? So you can determine whether I’m evil? Hate to be the one to tell you but nothing is that black and white, blue eyes.”

He said nothing, eyes studying you with more curiosity as the seconds pass by, unsure of what to think of you.

“It’s my family’s grimoire, can we just leave it at that for now?” You opened the door to your car, turning to bid him farewell when his next words cut you off.

“Very well, but I am coming with you.”

“Oh goody.” You roll your eyes and start the engine, shaking your head as the angel piles into the passenger’s seat. “Seatbelt, angel or not. House rule.”

“Yes ma’am.” Oh this was going to be fun, you could just tell.

“If you give me one more wrong turn I swear I’m going to toss you out that door. You’re an angel, you’ll heal.” He grumbles something under his breath and you shove his shoulder. “Where is the actual turn?”

“On your left.” You chuckled to yourself, but he was simply left baffled at how directions were suddenly comical. “It’s from a movie.”

You shut off the engine, the light that guided you fading into the darkness as you emerge from the vehicle. One glance at the angel beside you and you were hit by a sudden wave of anxiety. Why were you trusting this guy, he claimed to be an angel and yet he directed you to this dump via an actual map. You hadn’t seen any powers yet, so you were still weary. But he knew about magic, so he was either a hunter or telling the truth.

“What’s in there?” The entrance resembled what you imagined a fall out or a survivalist bunker to look like. It was in the middle of empty land and appeared to be deserted.

“The hunters who took it.” That was not what you wanted to hear come from his lips, not when you were far enough out from the nearest town to be murdered in broad daylight.

“Hunters?” He must have seen the fear in your eyes for raised his hands in peace and his features softened. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you, not even as little as I did.”

“Hold on, they won’t hurt you. I swear.” He approached the door, hand on the knob as he turned to glance back at you. “I won’t let them.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. But I have a feeling you aren’t, how did you put it, evil.” He smirked, eyes watching you again with that same curiosity in them.

“Is that supposed to comfort me after you continuously insinuated otherwise?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. Well, I did but I was not sure where you stood as a witch.” You knit your brow, locking gazes with the man. “I needed to know what you wanted spells for, some of those listed within are deadly.”

“Gee thanks, I just need it back for my family’s sake. Their lives are at stake without it. I need its protection.” You did your best to convey utter sincerity as he studied your eyes, judging truth from fiction within them.

“I believe you.” A fluttering in your chest had you breathless for a moment, and you allowed yourself a second to be lost in the pools of blue.

You sat at the table on your phone, scrolling through apps and trying to ignore the texts that screamed for you to hurry and not disappoint. The arguing in the adjacent room muffled by the door was becoming a frustrating obstacle. There was no time for this.

Without feeling an ounce of remorse you began searching the shelves, but with no luck you determined they were intelligent enough to hide it. Room searching it is. You were beginning to wonder if you’d find it before they stopped arguing, however the angel appearing as you poked your head down another hall meant otherwise.

“You should have waited.” You rolled your eyes and continued searching the rooms, Cas placed a hand on your shoulder. “It’s not in any of these rooms, come with me.”

He led you back to the entry room, the Winchesters stood looking rather displeased to have a witch wandering their halls freely. Cas tries to defend you again but the two hunters don’t seem to buy what he is selling, their eyes on you.

“I wasn’t about to sit there and waste time listening to you all scream about who’s right in some macho match off. I need my family’s grimoire so they stay safe. I don’t care if you believe me, you’re welcome to continue the long line of hunters who refuse to see the supernatural as anything but destructive. But me? I’m going to live in reality and use our book to revamp the cloaking spell that keeps us safe from trigger happy hunters looking for an excuse to draw blood.”

Your eyes land on the grimoire in the elder Winchester’s hands, his grip white knuckle tight and unyielding. An arched brow and an extended hand left him gripping the book even tighter. He wasn’t relenting.

“You said you’d help me blue eyes, was that a lie to get me here?” Cas met your gaze and shook his head, the two hunters perplexed at the response. “Your angel seems to trust me, but you never will. So just hand over what isn’t yours. Please.”

The younger Winchester nudged his brother, features still wary but trusting their angel friend enough.

“Dean.” Those blue eyes never looked so assertive as he gripped the other end of the grimoire, slowly prying it from the man’s grip. He turned to you and placed the large, leather clad book into your arms.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell any witches. Your reputation is safe.” Dean simply nodded, watching you closely as Cas walked you out of the bunker.

The grimoire is safely locked in its chest, your trunk slamming shut to reveal a blue eyed angel still standing there. He remained silent, eyes a confliction of emotions as he shifted his weight on his feet. You placed a kiss to his cheek before sliding into your car and rolling down the window.

“Thanks for the help blue eyes, I owe you one.” A wink and crimson flushing his cheeks, you rolled the window up and sped out of the area in a hurry.

Perhaps you would come to regret such a promise one day, but for now you would dream of those hypnotizing blue eyes and the angel they belonged to.

Tags: @qtmeryr @broken-hearted-barnes @asphalt-cocktail @gstran18

#supernatural #cw #castiel #cas #castiel x reader #cas x reader #match ems #spn #witch reader

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all-things-skam · 5 years ago

Text

Jens’ season | Chapter five

Sunday, February 2nd

Choosing a vlog idea for Valentine’s Day hadn’t been easy. Aaron wanted to do a couple challenge - Amber and him versus Robbe and Sander -, but Robbe didn't want to introduce Sander in a stupid vlog where Aaron would be eating Amber’s face in the background. Jens had backed him on that; Sander deserved a better introduction to the vlogs.

Instead, they decided to do the whisper challenge with cringy pick-up lines.

Thankfully, it turned out to be a good idea - and wouldn’t take too long to edit. Only ten minutes into filming and Robbe was dying laughing at the incorrect line Aaron had guessed.

Moyo sat on the chair facing Robbe for the third round, headphones covering his ears and loud music playing to make sure he couldn’t hear a thing. The brunet made a disapproving face as he read the line. This one was bad.

‘’Wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?’’

Moyo frowned, getting none of the words. Robbe had to repeat - which made the whole thing funnier.

‘’You used that one on Sander, Robbe?’’ Aaron asked, laughing at his own joke.

Robbe shook his head, blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. ‘’Shut up,’’ he hissed.

Jens snorted, coming to his best friend’s rescue. ‘’And you? How many of those have you used on girls?’’

The curly haired one gaped and flipped them off.

‘’Erm, can you repeat again?’’ Moyo requested, frowning.

Robbe groaned. ‘’Are you serious?!’’

As much as hanging out with the boys and filming a vlog was, Jens’ mind couldn’t help but wander to Lucas. He had posted a picture of himself and his friend Isa this morning, eating chips at 11am. His eyes were bright and he had the biggest smile.

Jens missed him...like a lot. And it had only been two days.

Lucas' big smile flashed behind his eyes, dimples on his cheeks. And, how could he forget that permanent smug look? Every time his lips would twist into a smile, it made Jens' stomach flutter. He couldn't not reciprocate the smile.

God, he was so whipped for that boy.

Pulling out his phone, Jens opened up Lucas’ chat. They had exchanged numbers before he left for Utrecht, which was more convenient than talking through Instagram DMs. They spent the majority of last night texting, filling the chat with tons of hearts and other emojis.

Jens: See you tonight 💜

Jens smiled to himself, looking forward to pick up Lucas from the train station. Being Sunday - aka, a school night -, Lucas wasn’t allowed to be out past 10pm. His train was set to arrive at the Antwerp station at 9:30 which left them only thirty minutes before Lucas’ curfew. Just enough time to walk him home - and steal a few kisses.

‘’Jens!’’ one of the boys called, pulling him out of his thoughts. The latter looked up from his phone. ‘’It’s your turn,’’ Moyo said, nodding at the hot seat waiting for him.

‘’Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.’’ He slipped his phone back into his hoodie and stood, joining Robbe on set and getting ready to kick Aaron’s ass in this challenge.

Biting his lip, Jens checked his phone for the seventh time in the past minute, impatiently waiting for Lucas to arrive. His train had left Utrecht at 7:30 which meant he should be here soon. Like, very soon.

A new train arrived, but it wasn't Lucas'.

Jens sighed. What was taking him so long? He checked the time again, only two minutes having passed since he last did.

Time seemed to pass impossibly slowly since he got to the train station. It felt longer waiting for the beautiful Dutch boy to arrive than waiting in line at the movies on a rainy day. Maybe it was the anticipation that made time pass slower? Or the fact that Jens was by himself with nothing to distract himself other than watching people go in and out of train waggons.

After what seemed like forever, he finally spotted Lucas through the small crowd exiting the newly arrived train. Jens' heart rate started to pick up. He felt like a school girl seeing her crush to pass the hall.

Swaying on the ball of his feet, Jens watched as Lucas snaked through the crowd, trying to make it to him as fast as possible. Some lady was blocking the way with her suitcase and a wailing kid and his mom almost bumped into Lucas, but the latter only had eyes for Jens.

Once they were facing each other, standing a few inches away, awkwardness settled and both boys froze, not knowing what to do.

''Hi,'' Lucas said, breaking the ice.

Without saying anything, Jens stepped forward and smacked their lips together, finally reunited. Lucas wrapped his arms around Jens' neck in return, giving his all into the kiss.

''Hi,'' Jens returned, chuckling. He went in for a quick peck, making Lucas smile.

''My train was delayed a couple minutes. Two idiots were fighting in my wagon and they had to call security and get them out. It was...entertaining,'' Lucas explained. ''Something about a stolen snack.''

Jens laughed, shaking his head. ''People are nuts.''

‘’Shall we get going? My train was late, I wouldn’t want my dad to get worried and start looking for me.’’

Jens nodded. ‘’Sure.’’

They were about to leave the train station when Jens realized something seemed familiar about Lucas’ hoodie.

He stepped back, a frown creasing on his forehead, holding Lucas at arm's length. ‘’Is that my hoodie?’’

Jens had been looking for that specific hoodie all week - his favorite hoodie. He had even searched his room and asked the boys if he had left it at one of their houses, but it was nowhere to be found. Now, it explains why.

‘’Perhaps…’’

The raven haired boy gave him a look and Lucas grinned. ''Little thief.''

''I needed a piece of you so I wouldn't miss you all weekend.''

''For real?''

''No, I was just cold.''

Jens rolled his eyes, fighting a smile, and wrapped his arms around Lucas, pulling him into a hug. A dry sense of humor and sarcasm wasn't something Jens though he'd ever need/seek in a partner, but Lucas never failed to make him smile or laugh.

A sudden wind blew over them and Jens felt Lucas shiver. That’s what you get for only wearing a hoodie in late February evening. Lucas slipped his cold hands off Jens’ shoulder to hide them in his hoodie’s front pocket, pulling the raven haired one closer. Jens heart began to swell, he could stay here all night just holding this beautiful boy. Lucas shivered again and he tightened his hold, trying to share body warmth with the underdressed Dutch boy.

“Come on, let’s get going before you freeze to death.”

Monday, February 3rd

Fuck. This conversation was going to blow.

But, Jens couldn’t see himself going forward without it. He couldn’t keep Jana waiting for nothing. He had to talk to her and clear the air, let her know that no matter what he would always care for her, but it was over between them.

He had sent Jana a message after lunch, asking to meet him at the café they used to go after school. With all the familial mess at home, Jens didn't want to invite her over. He also didn’t want to risk her getting the wrong idea.

Sometimes, Jana had difficulty taking him seriously. Jens was worried Jana wouldn't believe him when he'll say it's over, so maybe a public, neutral ground would make things more official - more final. She pictured him as the guy who always joked around and never took anything seriously - which she couldn't be more wrong about.

Jens arrived first and got a table towards the back of the cafe, worried she'd make a scene when he'd drop the bomb. With Jana, you could never guess her reaction. She was unpredictable.

‘’You’re dumping me.’’

Her face fell the second she realized why he had invited her here, confusion and disbelief washing on her face.

‘’We said we were seeing where it’ll go, not that we were back together,’’ Jens reminded her, correcting her words slightly. Alas, it didn’t calm her mood. ‘’Look, Jana, I still care and love you, but I can’t keep kissing you when there’s someone else on my mind. It’s unfair and disrespectful for everyone.’’

The last time Jens had kissed Jana, a pair of blue eyes and a dimpled grin kept flashing behind his eyes and he just couldn’t do it. He and Lucas hadn’t even kissed yet! Now that they had, Jens could never bring himself to kiss someone else - not with Lucas in his life.

Jana knitted her eyebrows. ‘’Someone else?’’ she repeated, a hint of jealousy and bitterness on her tongue.

Eyes down, Jens nodded. ‘’I…yeah, there’s someone else and I can’t do that. I don’t want to fuck it up between us like I did with Britt and you.’’

The brunette scoffed, jumping to conclusion. ‘’So, you led me on?’’

‘’No!’’

Like always, she wasn’t listening to him and twisted his words, accusing of things he didn’t do.

Jens sighed. ‘’I thought that timing and lack of trust was what drifted us apart in the first place, that growing up apart would do us good. But, I don't think it’s only that. I don't think it's ever going to work. Us. I...I think now is time for closure. Final closure.’’

The brunette looked surprised at his words. Final closure. She tried to search for a sign that Jens wasn’t serious, but couldn’t find any.

‘’Wow. So, this is it? You used me and now-’’

‘’You knew what you got yourself into when we started hooking up again. Don’t make me the bad guy here, Jana. We said we were open, not exclusive. I was allowed to look elsewhere, you can’t be mad at me for that. You were too.’’

‘’But, I didn’t! I thought...I thought there was hope for us.’’ Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

Fuck. Jens didn’t mean to make her cry. He knew this conversation would hurt her emotionally, but not that she’d cry.

Jens’ lips pursed into a thin smile. ‘’I thought so too...’’

At this moment, Jana had to be thinking that Jens had been lying when he said that he wanted to try again, to give their relationship a second chance, but he wasn’t. He genuinely was interested in getting back with her at the time.

‘’But, then-’’ Jens stopped himself before he said too much. He couldn’t drag Lucas into this. Cert, he was indirectly concerned, but there wasn’t any purpose nor need to mention him.

Jana raised an eyebrow, waiting expectantly.

He gave her one last apologetic look before standing up and grabbing his bag and jacket. ‘’I’m sorry, Jana.’’

What a better time to have a conversation than 11pm? It’s not like their kids couldn't hear them upstairs. Jens couldn’t hear all they were saying, but he could hear a good chunk.

From what he had understood, his parents were talking about the eviction notice. Given the tone of their voices, it wasn’t going smoothly.

‘’You need to find a job, Mohamed. It’s not an option anymore.’’

‘’Easier said than done… It’s not easy to find a job in advertising now.”

‘’I can’t take care of the bills all by myself. Not with my salary.’’

Jens groaned, hiding his head underneath his pillow. He was tired of this. A part of him was glad his mom had told his dad about the eviction notice, but was 11pm on a Monday the best time to discuss this? Probably not.

figured Lucas was probably asleep, being a Monday night.

Jens: Miss you. Wish you were here 💜

try going back to sleep when he heard a buzzing noise on his nightstand.

Lucas: You okay? 🤔

Lucas: Miss you too 💞

Jens: Yeah. I’m just not sleepy

It wasn’t quite the truth. Jens was sleepy, but with his parents arguing downstairs, it was impossible to go back to sleep. At least, not until their voices had lowered.

Jens: Was your dad cool with you being a little late last night? I just couldn’t stop kissing you

Lucas: Not at first, but I told him about the argument in the train and he was kinda okay with it. I can tell that he wishes I didn’t have to go over there at all if he had his way...

Jens: I’m sorry, Luc 😕

Lucas: Don't be. My dad...he's my dad, you know? It's like he has a grudge against my mom or something

Jens: Or something, uh?

Lucas: Yeah...

Lucas: She's not well, sort of. I mean, she's doing okay! She's not dying or anything, it's...she's schizophrenic. And, according to my dad, she's the devil incarnate

As sad as it was, it was common for people to demonize others who are diagnosed with a mental illness of any sort. It's also common to demand divorce and completely cutting ties with them, after a diagnostic, which must've been the case for Lucas' parents. Close minded people don't want to deal with 'crazies', regardless of how long they've been together and their baggage they've created, assuming their relationship will turn into a babysitting job.

Jens: I'm sure she is lovely

Lucas: She is. Sometimes, she's a bit much to handle, but isn't everyone?

Jens smiled.

His parents' voices caught the teenager's attention again, causing him to forget about Lucas for a minute and listen to their conversation.

“The notice said that if we can’t pay within the next 30 days, they will put a lock on the door. They will take our furniture, appliances, valued goods - everything. We can't do that to the kids.” Fenna paused. ‘’We promised ourselves to give the kids the best life they deserve…’’

‘’I know…’’

“Find a job in another field, then! It doesn't have to be in the advertising field.’’

''So you want me to flip burgers? Lower myself to the job of a teenager?”

''Temporarily, yes. We have to do what’s necessary in order to keep our home, Mohamed. Even if in involves getting a crappy job.''

A repeated buzzing noise brought Jens’s attention back to his phone where three messages from Lucas were waiting to be opened.

Lucas: Jens?

Lucas: Still awake? I think I'm going to crash soon 😴

Lucas: I'm here if you want to talk, okay?

Fingers hovering over his keyboard, Jens hesitated. He typed a quick explanation, telling Lucas that his parents were struggling with money, constantly arguing and even the eviction notice, but decided against it, deleting the whole message. Lucas had family problems of his own, he didn't want to pile his own on top.

Jens: Noted

Lucas: We're still on for studying tomorrow?

Jens: Since when do you care about my academics?

Lucas: Since I heard about you falling asleep in class 😴

Jens: 😑

Jens: That would be great. But we don’t have to study the whole time, do we? 😏

Lucas: Try getting some sleep? I’ll see you in the morning 😘

Tuesday, February 4th

Jens had sent Kobe and a few other guys a message the day before, telling them to meet him in the boys bathroom during lunch period, saying that he had more stock if they were interested. He wanted to keep his little selling hush-hush, not wanting to risk his name and little business to be dropped on the headmaster's desk - or worse, his parents.

His backpack felt heavier when Jens walked past the school gates this morning, well aware that he had drugs and weed in it. Hopefully, no one would be able to smell the latter.

It was past noon when Kobe showed up at their planned meeting spot. Only, the skateboarder wasn't alone.

“Shit, man, I told you to keep it on the DL? What the fuck!?”

Jens could have wrung Kobe's neck right then and there. Bringing one friend was passable, but three? They added risks of being snitched and Jens didn't like it. He didn’t know these guys personally, how can he know they won’t tell on him?

Kobe shrugged, not getting why Jens was upset. “When you sent the message I was with Liam and the guys. They saw the message and wanted in. What’s the big deal?”

“Because, if we get caught, it's my ass on the line,’’ Jens reminded him.

Processing weed on the school’s property could land you in big trouble. For juveniles - under eighteen -, the fine is a maximum of 230€ for a first offense. A second offense carries a fine of up to 500€ and/or a maximum commitment of 10 days in a juvenile detention facility. Same goes for possessing prescription drugs (ex: Xanax) without a prescription can also lead to a drug possession charge.

Needless to say, Jens - nor his parents - didn’t need to be dealing with that kind of trouble.

The brunet sighed, getting impatient. “Whatever. Do you have it or not?”

Jens nodded, slipping his backpack off his shoulder, about to unzip it and dive in. “Yeah, I got it. I also have some new stuff as well - if anyone is interested?”

One of Kobe’s friends raised an eyebrow, silently asking what ‘new stuff’ Jens was talking about, interested.

“When was the Cuban Missile Crisis that nearly led to a nuclear war?’’

‘’Uhm? I don’t know.” Jens said, getting frustrated with himself.

His brain was going to explode with the overwhelming amount of information Lucas was trying to drill into his brain. He sucked at History, but graduation was in a couple months and Jens needed to pass the subject. Therefore, studying was on the menu.

While the raven haired one wanted to shove all the textbooks on the floor and pull Lucas over on his lap, he needed to study. He and Lucas had been studying, both noses in their textbooks for an hour and asking each other questions back and forth.

Reading through Jens’ blank stare, Lucas tried to give him a little hint. ‘’I’m sure you remember this. It’s set during the Cold War.’’

Jens shrugged his shoulders, clueless.

Lucas let out a sigh. “It’s 1962. Okay, next question. In which year did the Tet Offensive take place?”

The teacher had talked about the Vietnam War last week, Jens recalled. But, he couldn’t remember.

“1960?”

The brunet shook his head. “Close though!’’ he encouraged. ‘’Come on Jens, if you can answer this question we will take a break,” Lucas said coyly.

‘’1963?’’

“It was 1968.’’

Jens sighed, defeated and discouraged. ‘’I told you I sucked at History…’’

‘’At least you tried something. And, you were close.’’ Lucas nudged Jens’ knee with his foot. ‘’I’d say it’s half a win.’’

''Enough studying,'' Jens declared, tossing aside his textbook and crawling on the bed until he reached Lucas.

Cocking an eyebrow, a smug smile bloomed on the brunet's face. He grasped Jens by the front of his red sweatshirt and drew him close enough to press their lips together. The latter eagerly kissed back, moving more comfortably over Lucas. He cupped his jaw, supporting himself with his other hand, and parted Lucas' lips with his tongue, teasing and tasting him.

After almost two weeks of kissing, the feeling hadn't subsided. Lucas’ lips still sent a buzzing feeling to Jens' stomach every time they kissed, something only he had been able to trigger.

The atmosphere in the room had shifted from subtle flirting to a desire to cross that unnamed line into something more. Something that would kick his rule to 'take things slow' out the window.

Feeling too hot, Jens broke the kiss and sat back, peeling off his sweatshirt and dropping it on the floor, a textbook following down with a small thud, leaving him in his thin tee shirt. He took a breath and looked ahead, catching the ravenous look in Lucas’ eyes, stomach tightening with anticipation from that intense look.

Unlike his previous relationships, Jens wanted to do things right this time. Messing up was so easy - look at his relationship with Britt or Jana -, but he couldn't let it happen. He couldn’t keep acting so selfishly and focusing on what he wanted. He had to listen and be more thoughtful. He liked this boy - a lot, even. It would really suck to fuck it up.

Instead of going back to their original position, Lucas grabbed onto Jens’ shoulders, clambering on top of him and guiding him down until his back touched the mattress, but Jens hissed, feeling a pen digging into his lower back. That’s what you get for making out during a study session… Lucas laughed as Jens reached under to toss it out of the away.

Aligning his body with Jens’, Lucas attached his lips to his neck, kissing and nipping at the tan skin the way he knew the raven haired boy liked it, causing pleased little gasps to leave his lips. Jens’ hands moved up Lucas’ thighs and higher.

Pausing, Lucas glanced at the dangly hoop on Jens' ear.

He cocked an eyebrow and smirked. ''Cute,'' Lucas pointed, taking Jens' ear lobe in between his teeth and gaving a soft but forceful nibble.

''Like it?''

Lucas hummed as he ran his hands over Jens’ stomach, making the latter’s skin burn with desire as Lucas lifted the edges of Jens tee shirt, caressing the tanned skin above the waistband, fingers brushing over Jens' softly defined abs.

Lucas hadn't gotten this far with anyone. He had a couple opportunities with girls, but, every time, the Dutch boy had to put an end to it before it got really awkward and she noticed he had erectile dysfunctions. With Jens, getting blood to rush south wasn't much of an issue. On the contrary. He didn't even have to think; his body reacted to Jens', pushing back into his own instinctively.

Jens’ hands were on Lucas’ hips, body arching up as the brunet grinded down, keeping an unspoken no-distance policy between them. His erection was straining against the zipper of his jeans, becoming really uncomfortable and tight. He could feel Lucas’ too, but Jens didn't say anything.

Breaking from him, Lucas pulled off his own sweatshirt, leaving him shirtless. Jens grinned, kissing up his chest and making Lucas’ breath hitch.

''Wait, Jens. I never...''

He bit his lip, looking down and nervous, but Jens shook his head, kissing Lucas' lips, soft and understanding.

''Don’t worry. Just...do as you feel, okay?''

Lucas nodded and exchanged places with Jens, going back to where he previously laid against the pillows. Jens wanted to make this enjoyable for him. No stress, like he said. But, deep down, he hoped his own experience in the receiving end would be enough to make this pleasing for Lucas.

His own relief would have to wait.

The rest of their clothes soon joined Jens’ red sweatshirt on the floor, jeans and socks piling up on the hardwood, leaving the boys in their boxers.

Lucas gulped, feeling nervous, but the feeling was quickly gone and replaced by a new kind of bliss. His head fell back against the pillows when he felt Jens’ fingers around him. It was the first time anyone - other than himself in his own bed - had touched him like this, underneath his boxers and-

‘’Fuck.’’

He pushed into Jens’ skilled hand for more, demanding more, but Jens had other plans and slipped his hand out.

Frowning, Lucas looked down, confused and disappointed. ‘’Wh- why did you stop?’’ he asked, trying to catch his breath.

His question went unanswered as Jens yanked down his boxers, locking eyes with him before diving down and taking his cock into his mouth, watching as it disappeared past his full lips.

‘’Shit, shit, shit.’’

Wednesday, February 5th

Moyo tugged at Jens’ collar, exposing a fresh looking bruise at the base of his neck along with a couple smaller, lighter ones. ‘’Wow. Was this Jana? I don't remember her marking you like that before.’’

He swatted Moyo’ hand away, not wanting to be exposed in the middle of the cafeteria ‘’It’s not her.’’

The boys frowned, not up to date with the most recent Jana news. Jens had forgotten to tell them about their final break up, being too busy having Lucas’ tongue in his mouth to send them an update text.

Moyo raised his eyebrows, smug smile on his lips. ‘’Ohh! New conquest?’’

‘’On a Tuesday?’’ Aaron asked, still frowning. ‘’How can you pick up chicks and score on a Tuesday?’’

‘’Have you seen this face?’’ Jens said confidently, pursing his lips into a seductive pout. ‘’No one can resist it.’’

A snort left Moyo’s lips, shaking his head at his two friends’ banter.

‘’Who is it, then?’’ Aaron looked around the cafeteria, trying to find guess who was the hot girl that got in his friend's pants last night. ‘’Is it Marie from second year? The blond one?’’

‘’No.’’

‘’Erm...is it Estelle? She has a french accent.’’

Jens shook his head.

He had to bite his tongue and hold his smile, knowing that there was no way Aaron would guess right. Cert, Jens had introduced Lucas to the boys last weekend, but he never left any clues that would make them suspect he was seeing Lucas.

‘’Lena?’’

Robbe arrived, taking a seat before Moyo and putting an end to Aaron’s guessing game. He fist-bumped all the boys before opening his backpack and pulling out his lunch.

“So what is Aaron getting all excited about?”

“All of the love marks on Jens neck.” Moyo blurted out. ‘’Did you see this?’’

Jens let out a sigh. Damn why did his friends have to be so nosy? They’re worse than gossiping girls.

Robbe stared, wide-eyed. “Seriously?! Are you and Jana official again?”

“No! Moyo already asked, it's someone new and I’m trying to figure it out.” Aaron explained, getting Robbe up to date.

Robbe glanced at Jens, raising an eyebrow. “A new girl?’’ he cooed and Jens rolled his eyes. Robbe was no better than Aaron and Moyo sometimes…

''Looks like you have some competition over here,'' Moyo told Robbe, teasing about all the hickeys they've previously seen on him since he and Sander got together. ''Who can get the most hickeys.''

''Hey! Why am I kicked out of the competition?'' Aaron demanded, stuffing a piece of muffin in his mouth.

''Because you and Amber don't do hickeys,'' Moyo pointed.

''How do you know?'' Aaron countered.

''Because you don't have any, and she doesn't either. Clearly, we would've seen.''

Aaron groaned. ''I can't do them if I don’t know how...''

‘’Google, bro. Use it. We’re not going to share our tricks with you to use on Amber. She's gonna give you all the credits.’’

Aaron sulked and Jens felt bad for him. Every time he asked them tips for his relationship with Amber, the boys brushed him off or told him some bullshit advice. It's not that they didn't want to help him with his girl, but sometimes Aaron's questions were just too much.

“Can we talk about something else...'' Jens said, over with this conversation, not feeling like talking about his nor Aarons sex life anymore.

From across the cafeteria, a blue denim jacket caught his eye and Jens' heart sped up just a bit. Lucas was talking with some guys - the same ones from the skatepark - as he walked into the cafeteria, greige bag slung over his shoulder. He looked up and caught Jens looking his way, taking a moment to shoot him a quick wink across the room.

Thursday, February 6th

Michiel was right. Selling more than weed was a lot more beneficial. His last visit to Michiel’s place had earned him twice what he got last week. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. If Jens kept this up every week, it would be a great help to his parents. He doubted it would pay the mortgage, but maybe it could be used for other bills.

After his visit to Michiel’s, Jens went up to his room and gathered last week’s cash with this weeks’, setting it on the desk. He hid the new baggies of pills and weed in the far end of the same drawer before heading downstairs where he knew his mom was.

Coming down the stairs, Jens saw that his mom was folding laundry with all the lights off except for one little lamp on the couch side table. His heart sank knowing that she was trying to do everything possible to keep bill costs down. He made a show of coming down the stairs so his mom could turn on more lights to help keep up the farce.

Jens let out a little cough. ‘’Here. I know that’s not a lot, but it can help.’’

Fenna deposited the laundry she was folding and frowned, glancing down at the pile of cash Jens was handing her. ‘’Where did you get that?’’

It was unusual for him to have this much money. As far as she knew, Jens didn’t have a job.

He shrugged. ‘’I sold some of my stuff. You were right, I’m holding on to way too many things.’’

Warry, his mom took the money and counted. ‘’Jens, there’s 150€ in this.’’

‘’I know. Use it for the bills or something.’’

Fenna shook her head, refusing to accept her son’s money. ‘’I can’t take that. It’s your money.’’

‘’I insist.’’ Jens pushed the money back into her hands.

A bit of the burden lifted off of Fennas shoulders and she breathed a sigh of relief. ‘’Thank you. I’ll pay it back.’’ With a weak smile she looked up at Jens, pointing at the pile of clothes next to the basket. ‘’Oh, can you take this to your bedroom?’’

Friday, February 7th

Avoiding your ex at parties wasn’t as easy as Jens thought it would be. Jana was always around. Their group of friends was joined by default because of Aaron and Amber, and Robbe who was friends with most of the girls. They were also all in the same school year so it was almost impossible to not go to the same parties.

Jens went to the kitchen to get a second drink. He studied his liquor choices and ended up going for the vodka. It was probably the cheap kind, but Robbe had forgotten the beers at home so he had no choice.

Reaching for the clear bottle, Jens poured some into a cup, almost spilling it on the side when he felt a weight on his back. He looked over his shoulder, expecting a mistaken drunk person, but it was Lucas and his bright grin.

Jens returned the smile, happy to see Lucas had made it to the party.

‘’Partying hard, I see.’’ Lucas moved to stand next to him, nodded at Jens’ red cup, half filled with vodka.

‘’Want a drink? I said I’d keep you one.’’ Jens offered him his glass, but the brunet declined.

‘’Not that one. Too much vodka. I don’t plan on ending my night with my head in the toilet.’’

Jens rolled his eyes. ‘’I didn’t put that much.’’ Lucas raised an eyebrow, waiting and watching as the other boy took a sip, grimacing and regretting immediately, tasting old birthday memories. ‘’Okay. Maybe I went a bit hard on the vodka.’’

Lucas snorted. ‘’A bit?’’

Jens chuckled, giving him reason, and grabbed another cup to pour half of it in and filled the rest of both cups with a non-alcoholic beverage. ‘’Here. Should taste like cherries.’’

This time, Lucas took the drink. ''Thanks.'' He hopped on the counter and nudged Jens with his knee, signaling for him to come closer while still being discreet. Keeping his voice low, Lucas whispered into his cup. “I missed you today.” He curled his free hand into Jens’ hoodie, pulling him closer.

Jens had to turn his head away from the crowd so nobody could see the blush on his cheeks. God how he wished he could just move and stand between those inviting legs and kiss Lucas in the middle of the party, but he spotted Zoe in his peripheral vision. Even though she wasn't a 'tell all' person, Jana was her friend and Jens doubted Zoe wouldn’t tell her if she saw him kiss someone else.

They hadn't seen each other since Tuesday and Jens had been looking forward to tonight. Texting was nice, but it wasn’t the same as being face to face. Thinking about Lucas’ appearance, Jens hadn’t had time to take in the Dutch boy’s outfit, too busy fighting the urge to kiss him. HIs usual tee shirt or hoodie had been swapped for a green floral shirt. A damn floral shirt. The top buttons were undone, Lucas' smooth skin peaking out, causing Jens' knees to weaken.

He bit his lip, stepping back, and nodded toward the kitchen's doorway. “Let's get out of here and find somewhere a little more private.”

Lucas jumped off the counter and followed Jens with a smug look.

Snaking through the crowd of bodies, Jens led the way to the second floor where he guessed were the bedrooms. There was a lot of people tonight, but if they was lucky, one room would be empty and free to use.

It took them a few disappointments before a handle twisted and opened at the end of the hall. Jens pushed it open and dragged Lucas inside, closing the door behind and backing Lucas against it.

The second it closed, Jens' lips were on Lucas', hot and eager, as Lucas' hands found home into Jens' dark locks, deepening the kiss. It wasn't in Jens' nature to push someone against the door to kiss them, but Lucas didn't complain.

Parting, Jens hummed contently. “Fuck, I have missed this...you.’’ He rested his forehead against Lucas’, their breath mingling. ''What's with the Florida holiday shirt tonight?'' Jens asked, playing with the opened collar of Lucas’ shirt, fingers grazing the floral pattern.

Lucas chuckled, the vibrations of his laugh reverberating through Jens lower stomach. ''You don't like it?''

''Are you kidding?’’ Jens leaned for a kiss, giving Lucas’ bottom lip a slight nibble before releasing it. ‘’It’s so fucking hot.” He pushed his hips against Lucas and could feel the reciprocating erection in the brunet's tight pants.

Jens thought to stop, worried it would give Lucas the wrong idea, make him think he was only seeing him for sex, but Lucas smirked, pushing himself off the door and guiding Jens farther into the room. They hadn't bothered to turn the light on when they came in, their only source of light being the full moon's glow coming from the large window. They could've gone and turned on a lamp, but neither wanted to let go of the other.

Stopping in the middle of the room, Lucas put his hands on Jens waistband and moved to release the button, hearing the pop of the clasp.

Their first blowjobs hadn't been in a hurry, in a stranger’s bedroom, but neither could wait tonight, too horny. Lucas wanted his lips on Jens, now. And, who was Jens to protest?

Lucas hadn't been so confident and sure of himself on Tuesday when he sat between Jens’ legs, the latter’s erection waiting for him to do something. It was his first time - ever - and nervous would’ve been an understatement. He was so scared Jens wouldn’t like it and that it would be bad. But, Jens, always reassuring and patient, put him at ease and there were no issues.

Cert, it wasn't perfect, but there’s no perfection levels, just preferences...and practice.

Lucas kissed him one last time, sighing as he felt the latter's large hands sliding underneath the thin button up, snaking up his sides and pressing the smaller one against him. Leaning into Jens' touch, Lucas fiddled with Jens' pants to open the fly and push them down his legs.

He broke the kiss and locked eyes with Jens, searching for something unknown and began to kneel down infront of him. It was only his second time doing this, but Jens saw confidence through Lucas' blue irises. Hands on the waistband, Lucas was about to pull Jens' boxers down, when the bedroom door flew open and light poured in from the hallway, exposing them to whoever had walked in.

Lucas froze and Jens’ head snapped up, seeing his best friend in the doorway, eyes like a deer in the headlights. “What the fu- Robbe!’’

Robbe raised his hands in surrender. ‘’Sorry, sorry, sorry,’’ he repeated, turning on his heels and leaving the room.

#van der stoffels #jens stoffels #jens's season #vds #lucas van der heijden #wtfock #skam nl #lucas x jens #jens x lucas #please leave comments in the tags #i worked so hard on this chapter #now my back hurt so I'm taking a break

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