#i know thats not covering the full spectrum at all

[frogwithastrawberry]

So weird that more kids shows don't have aromantic representation? All they have to do is this:

A: Hey, who do you have a crush on?

B: Oh! Uh, no one. I'm aromantic

C: Ooooh! Is that why you're always wearing that scented perfume?

A & B:... Huh?

C: Y'know, cause you don't have a smell! Aromatic!

A: *facepalm* You idiot, they said Aromantic not aromatic

C: What does that mean?

B: I don't get crushes

C:... So it's not why you wear that perfume?

[actualbird]

how do you feel about the Olympics?

I HATE THE OLYMPICS......

okay no thats not true, it's just that at work right now, im one of the copywriters assigned to cover the olympics for one of our clients and because that my past few weeks have been so busy with tons of last minute/breaking news deliverables......basically anytime ANYTHING happens to the philippine athletes, i have a new task to write. it's horrid im SO TIREDDDDDDDDD

stress aside, im not really following the olympics. i only know all that i need to know for my work tasks. though i do feel immense gender envy over our one transmasc ph boxer olympian, hergie bacyadan

like....bro.......damn.........

so yeah thats the full spectrum of my thoughts abt the olympics HAHA

[schizosupport]

this is going to be very long and rambly, i apologize. you can answer any, all, or no parts of it, i guess i just really need to blurt it all out to *someone*

for the past 3 or 4 years, ive been having mild (?) transient stress related psychotic symptoms. i suspect i have a cluster b pd which could possibly cover that

at first it was mostly paranoia i think ? usually the standard "theyre out to get me" type thoughts, both with people i knew and nebulous entities i couldnt define. it doesnt happen too frequently, but it seems to have gotten worse with time. this past fall / winter was especially bad bc i was already doing poorly mental health wise and was very isolated. a lot of the thoughts are still paranoia based, but some lean more towards delusions now (e.g. being afraid of the music i left to play from my phone speakers bc i felt it was hunting me down) as well as some that are fully bizarre (e.g. believing that ive been an angel stuck inside a human body my whole life, thinking theres a force field around my apartment thats keeping me stuck inside). for a while there was also this... pervasive sense of unreality almost ? like i would get frustrated that things werent operating on dream logic, or have difficulty differentiating dreams and reality in general. for the past couple months since then, ive had pretty much no issues

i always retain Some grasp on reality, whether its full on double booking or a vague sense of "something is wrong with me right now", which is enough for me to hide away from people and try to calm myself down and ground myself back to reality (... can you even do that with "real" delusions ? talk yourself out of them ?). the symptoms only last a few hours "at their peak", though the unsteady / unreality feeling may stick around for days or weeks surrounding that. im still able to be mostly functional for that part though. as such, nobody knows about any of this.

i just. i dont know. i dont have a therapist (i need one). im too afraid telling my friends will change their views on me irreparably even though they too struggle with (other) deeply stigmatized mental health issues. ive spent a lot of my childhood being called insane and incapable and i dont want it to happen again after ive finally found people that respect me. im worried ill have a full on psychotic break at some point (what the hell counts as "a break" ? can i call what ive been through "episodes" ?), or lose my ability to double book, or display symptoms in front of people i know. i just dont know what to do so im. spilling it out all here. so someone at all besides me knows

-- elias

Hey there,

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you.

It definitely sounds to me like you are experiencing some level of psychotic symtoms, and it sounds like it's causing you significant distress. You asked whether you can "talk yourself out of" a "real delusion" - and well, not as such, until the delusion passes, but they can be more or less long-lived and come with more or less insight.

The types of episode that only last a couple hours at full intensity are sometimes referred to as micropsychoses. When people talk about "a psychotic episode" it usually refers to a prolonged loss of reality that may last days, weeks or even months. But plenty of people on the schizo- and psychosis spectrum don't experience full-blown psychotic episodes. That doesn't make their psychosis un-serious, and it also isn't a given that these people will go on to develop worse psychotic symptoms.

I think one of the reasons the diagnosis of schizotypal exists, is because we needed to acknowledge that not every person's endpoint on the schizo-spectrum is schizophrenia, but that doesn't mean that their experience doesn't come with distress or disability.

I think you could try to do a vibe check with your friends to see how they react to the concept of psychosis and psychotic disorders. If they seem cool, then you could try to bring up your own experiences. It might be nice to be able to talk about those things, and get to experience that it doesn't have to be the end of the world, and not everyone will judge you for it.

I hope you all the best, anon!!

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Give me your Blyndeff sister headcanons please.

You got it, Boss!

MOLLY BLYNDEFF:

Starting off, I think shes autistic. Look, i know this is low hanging fruit, but i mean... come on...

I have a list of all the nervous tics she has, which include:

Chewing on her hoodie strings

Clicking a pen, mechanical pencil, figit cube

Cracking her body, mostly her hands, fingers and wrists

Chewing her inner cheek

Biting herself

Shaking anything jingly

Nervous hand flappies

Pacing

I also have a list of stims that i kinda projected:

Hand flaps are a big one

Same with fist shaking

Patting her thighs too

She also makes small popping noises

Ok back to ACTUAL headcannons:

Doesnt do well at amusement parks, but is cool about the scary halloweeny stuff

Quiet kid in school on the days she goes

Vocalizes what she does (aka making sounds as she does stuff) (akaaka her walking and she goes "eh eh eh eh")

I feel like she indulges in horror games, thinks the cutesy stuff is boring

Did not realize she was autistic until Trixie said "Thats neat Molly! By the way, did you ever get diagnosed for autism?" After she went on a whole rant about bear facts.

Speaking of facts, hyperfixation/special interest list:

Bears

Pokémon

Lethal company

Any horror game you give her, really

Horror movies

History (this is me protecting)

Actual Headcannons:

Textures are iffy for her

Shes touch seeking but will freak out if she feels or tastes a weird texture like with fleeces or fabrics

Naven triedd to help her with this, but it didn't work out and she spat out the food while apologizing

Likes Rasin Brain, its the only cereal thats not sweet

Drinks black coffee and tea

I feel like she owns a green Nokia with a bear keychain

Music taste is probably those nice music box covers or really quiet piano with rain ambiance.

LORELAI BLYNDEFF:

Shes autistic too, but not at the same spectrum level as Molly

Abandonment Issues

If shes stressed she'll stim while talking out loud to herself

Had HORRIBLE meltdowns when she was younger, she stopped around the time Molly was born since her parents said she had to set an example

Sweet tooth, favorite flavor is Birthday Cake

I can sense she has a Dnd special intrest, most definetly has played Baldurs Gate 3 at some point

Warrior Cats kid

Bedazzles everything she owns

Horrible cook. Dont let her touch an oven

Her and Molly used to infodump together before they started hating eachother

Def a bedazzled flip phone girlie

Idk why but I feel like shes a Chai drinker, no explination I just feel it.

Also really likes Halloweeny stuff

She struggles more with school work than Molly (Proof, her spelling in PoP) but she doesnt want to ask for help cuz she feels stupid about it so she just does it wrong

Full Hyperfixation/Special Intrest List:

Fantasy

Dungeons and Dragons/TTRPGS

Baldurs Gate 3

Rabbits/Bunnies/Etc

Harry Potter (Fuck JKR)

Warrior Cats

Wings of Fire

Percy Jackson

Actual Headcannons:

I feel like shes an Art Kid

Specializes in Pottery and Doodles

Also has taken up plushie making! Without an Epithet, I may add

She doesnt have an issue with texture most of the time; but if she feels any slime or coldness on her hands she'll flip.

She likes the popular music; but secretly loves fantasy game soundtracks and vocaloid. DWEEB!!!! (Me too i get it Lori)

Storing money to go to a Renaissance Faire

She sometimes uses her dream bubbles for Dnd campaigns with the friends she has! Or she would if she had any

I feel like she sits alone at lunch :(

Loves Boba! Tried getting Molly to taste it but she spat out a Pearl

Theater kid. Gut feeling.

Thats all from me, anon! Enjoy!!

[smaller-comfort]

27. Share a piece of lore you made up for the Outshine the Sun early years wip and/or Consort roleplay wip?

I think the only lore that really goes with the concubine roleplay wip is general snecrontyr stuff that I've already covered elsewhere. That story is really just an excuse for Zahndrekh to dress Obyron up in sexy lingerie and make him beg to get fucked while Zahndrekh fingers him with his gloves on. At least, thats the plan, but we'll see how out of hand that one gets once I start working on it more.

For OtS- I've made up a fair amount about the Solstice religious order! It's a powerful institution with a lot of political power within the empire, although the Temple tends to be at odds with the Imperial Court on a lot of issues. Children born on the solstices don't get taken; parents can choose to dedicate their children or not, as they please. Officially dedicating a child to the temple does entitle parents to certain privileges and tithes in exchange, though, plus it means your kid gets an education and a pretty decent life. It's more like sending your kid off to be apprenticed; most children do keep in touch with their families, and they have the option to leave once they reach the age of majority.

There are, of course, children who are abandoned as newborns; Solstice orphans aren't uncommon, so there are children of all ages living in the temple cloisters.

The following is full of spoilers for the basic premise of OtS. I think it's pretty, though.

He laughed. “Absolutely not. The Elders said I had no potential, anyway. You'd have no use for me.”

-----

She touched his shoulder. “You have no desire to be a Solstice Priest now, do you?”

“You were a child; there was no way to truly know what potential you might grow into.” She stood, and now she was no longer Sister Anais, who had been so kind to the children in the cloister; she was Solena incarnate, with the light of the sun shining from her eyes. “You have the right to that particular truth. Come.”

He took her hand, and she led him to the center of the courtyard. The midmorning sun was harsh above them. “We are the children of the sun. But after the longest day, the light begins to die. Never forget what our birth signifies.”

She raised one arm, fingers outstretched towards the sky, and time stopped. The sun wheeled backwards in the sky, casting the courtyard in darkness; the moon rose, set, rose again, and the unforgiving light of the solstice flooded the courtyard.

And between the outstretched fingers of her hand, he saw the cosmos: the orbits of the moons and the planet's axial tilt, leaning towards the sun at the height of the solstice; the stately revolution of the planet around the sun, and the entire cohort of the solar system, with its concentric circles of planetary orbits and asteroid rings.

And beyond: stars, of which their sun was but one of a multitude, each spinning around the black hole at the center of the galaxy, and the galaxy itself moving in its slow and ponderous way outwards from the center of the universe, where all things began, and ended, and began again.

She closed her hand into a fist, and time resumed. Her eyes were the blackness of an eclipse, outlined in a corona of solar fire. The sun set; the moon rose, and set, and rose again; the sun rolled back into position where it belonged.

He reached for her, feeling the force of gravity and its counterforce, the dizzying centripetal motion of the universe. He held the sun in his hands, and through it he could see- the pane of glass in his mind was not a barrier at all. It was a prism, refracting the light.

Resh'an blinked. A globe of white hot fire spun in the palm of his hand like a tiny star. He flexed his fingers, and it dissipated with a curl of smoke. It made sense now. He called the fire back, feeling the way the prism in his mind brought forth the spectrum of light and magic; the movement of the universe in space and time, repeated over and over again across the Sea of Stars.

The globe of fire sputtered out, suddenly, and he staggered. Solena caught him as he fell, and her touch flooded him with sunlight- not the white hot starfire, but the gentle warmth of a sunrise. “Have a care not to burn too brightly- this is why we need Luana, for balance, to keep ourselves from burning out.”

“I was never going to have that.” He thought of Aephorul, and the sister he never knew; he was sure he would have loved her, too. The thought was nearly enough to stagger him again, with the weight of that loss finally realized. "You knew from the start- it was why you sent me away."

-----

(The premise: Resh'an is a Solstice orphan, who was taken from the temple before he finished his training. Aephorul has a dead twin sister, and never developed anything more than a rudimentary grasp of Lunar magic. Immortality ultimately corrupts their souls to the point where their own innate Solstice magic becomes poisonous.)

(Aephorul's sister has actually already made an appearance in the fic I've posted! She gets another cameo in Save Scumming, too.)

[hhelliish]

Some Seven Deadly Sin design ideas i felt i needed to write down somewhere

Lucifer (Pride): he is the character ive worked most on out all of them

currently his design is going through some changes. for one i want him to be more goat like. i still want to keep his sharper nose cuz i just really like that one him, but hes going to start looking more like a furry as the days pass sorry not sorry

his personality i dont plan on changing. he's going to remain a more standoff-ish and quiet, coming off as cold. but on his other side he is actually quite caring and passionate about taking care of his family, his people, and Hell itself

Sathanas (Wrath): hes a bit tricky. i didnt want him to be so predictable by being a meet head jock or something. so i decided to go the business man route.

im thinking of also making him more animal like. maybe a bull to represent the wrath part of him to get a better idea. he also 100% has glasses he's a nerd

personality; similar to Lucifer he's quiet and intimidating, but more like the opposite spectrum. he comes off as more stern and serious, not taking anyones shit and he means it

Beelzebub (Gluttony): my silly. ive grown heavily attached to him

entirely going into a bug look for him. in my mind he looks a bit human but has a lot of bugs features like antenna's, four pairs of arms, huge insect wings, differently bent legs, and possibly abdomen im not entirely sure about that yet

i always pictured him to be very carefree, silly, but really off putting and strange. bro totally eats corpses and thats ok because hes funny <3

he also has a wife and child. she let him hit cuz hes goofy

Asmodeus (Lust): this again is a tricky one cuz i really want him to be unique but translate his design that doesnt feel overcomplicated to design. because if you know how he really looks, its a lot

i do have in mind i want him to be fat as im tired of the definition of Lust being this skinny guy. fat people can be hot af and i want that to be more pushed

i was also thinking with how Asmodeus has more than one face, i either thought he could change his features by waving a hand in face that changes everytime like magic. or he spins his head like a doll and appears a new face every so often. not entirely sure with what i want to do but the separate faces i dont think i want to make to be different people, rather just different appearances

Asmodeus is also a kind and full of passion for others. he has several partners that he all treats very well and is not purely out of lust

Mammon (Greed): again, this is a hard one

Mammon in my mind can be many things and its hard for me to decide what he looks like. so he is the one thats the most work in progress as for some reason its just difficult for me

as for personality, hes by far the nastiest out of all the Sins. besides Belphegor, he very much embraces the sin he represents and doesnt feel bad about it. hes a man of the status quo and likes to be the bigger person power or wealth wise.

even though when being ranked alongside the other seven sins he isn't that powerful compared to Sathanas, Beelzebub, or definitely Lucifer

so hes kind of compensating all the time for his broken ego LOL

Leviathan (Envy): SEA WITCH SEA WITCH

ive been so excited to design her and im gonna go all out with the deep sea monster look. i envision her as a kind of kelpie/siren kind of monster creature girl that has hair covering her face but a huge creepy smile. shes got lots of teeth like a shark

personality so far is that shes a bit creepy. she likes to make herself look as if her spine is cracking in half and loves fucking with people. but sometimes her creepiness is just who she is. no one can tell when shes being serious or being an ass

Belphegor (Sloth): the last furry i promise (not)

yeah, i may be stealing the idea of what Vizviepop is doing with her Belphegor. not like entirely tho since we still dont know what she looks like. but my Belphegor is going to be a sheep for certain

i want her to be the shortest out of all the Sins and look like the fairly unthreatening one. but thats where she gets you cuz actually all along her fluffy wools is eyeballs that pop out of nowhere and scare the hell out of you

her attitude to me is more predictable for Belphegor by being noncaring, monotone, and sleepy. but i honestly cant think of her in any other way it just fits best. i imagine she never even walks she just floats around with a pillow and sleeps randomly

these are just concept ideas btw but i needed to air this out to someone so i hope you guys enjoy seeing my thought process <3

[bbnha-manga-scripts]

Chapter Five

Note: Mext: Ministry of Eduction, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

[Flash Back to the exam room]

Unknown: The results of the practical skill entrance examination are here. 

Unknown: We’ve had entrants ace off against that thing in the past, but it’s been quite a while since someones sent it flying like that.

???(I think it’s Mic): I couldn’t help but should “Yeeeeah!” when I saw that!

Unknown: At the other end of the spectrum, we have the kid who ranked 7th even without any villain points.

[They say as they show Midoriya Izuku in the panel]

Unknown: Though he earned 0 rescue points, Bakugou still placed first! Wow!

Unknown: He targeted the 1p and 2p villain-bots, approaching them slowly and continuously intercepting them to lure them into a flashy explosion blast once they’d gotten weaker during the second half of the exam. That kid’s as tough as they come.

[They say as Bakugou shows in the panel]

Unknown: But the injuries he incurred from the black-back were intense… it was almost like watching a child manifest for the first time.

Unknown: Kid’s definitely an anomaly, apart from that oen blow he was the picture candidate for rejection. 

Unknown(Pretty sure it’s Mic): Whatever, dudes, who cares!? I’ve taken a liking to him. He made me throw my hands up and go “Yeah!”.

Aizawa(Thinking): Jeez, what an idiot.

Izuku[Narrorating]: The night after the opening the notification letter. 8PM. We agreed to meet at seaside park.

Izuku: All Might! 

Small Might: Who the hecks that?!

Extra: Did someone say All Might!? Where!?

Small Might(Whispering): Quick kid, tell em ou mistook me for someone else.

Izuku(Covering his face, embarrassed): I mistook him for someone else!

Small Might: Congrats on passing. Just so you know, I didn’t inform the academy about our point of contact. You’re the type who’d worry that you got accepted solely by connections.

Small Might(thinking): I wasn’t even one of the judges.

Izuku: Thank you for thinking of me!

Izuku: I was surprised to hear that you’ve been made a teacher at UA! That’s why we need to meet here… I get it. But isn’t you office locatied at Roppongi, Minato War, Tokoyo, 6-12-...”

Small Might: Stop right there.

Small Might: Anyways, I told the academy about my predicament, but haven’t breathed a word about it to anyone else. I Had UA notify tme on the chance they found me a suitable successor.

Izuku(Thinking): Thats right… he said he’d been searching for a successor for a long time. I see… he was planning to choose among the stupids. It’s a hotbed of capable people, overflowing with awesome quirks.

[Izuku looks at his hands]

Izuku: One for All… just one punch or kick is all it takes to wreck my body… oh really… I can’t handle it at all.

Small Might: That can’t be helped for now. If you tried to get a guy who suddenly sprouted a tail to do tricks with it, he wouldn’t know how to control it properly enough to do so. It’s the same story here. 

Izuku: Huh? So you mean to say you saw all of that coming!?

Small Might: Well… there’s just been no time,,, but everything worked out all right…! Or should I say, All Might!

[Small Might picks up cans]

Small Might: Right now, you’re still stuck at all or nothing… but you can learn to tone down and adjust the power level and save your body the strain of a full-strength power emission.

[Buffs into All Might]

All Might: The more you build up the vessel. The more you can control the power within it!

[All Might crushes a can with one fist]

All Might: Like this!

All Might: Like unto the sacred fire of lore… the transferred flame is still small, but from now on, not even driving rain will check growth. 

Bystandards: Wait, isn’t that… it is! All Might!? When did he get here?!

All Might: Uh-oh. Let’s run.

[Midoriya and All Might began to sprint away]

All Might: And my flame will slowly fade away and eventually vanish and my duty will be done!

Bystander: He’s… so cool, huh?

[Time Skip to springtime and a new year]

Inko: Izuku!? Did you pack some tissues?

Izuku: Yes Mom.

Inko: What about your hanky? You can’t leave without a hanky, dear!

Izuku: Yes Mom.

[Izuku, tying his shoes in a hurry]

Izuku: I packed it! Ugh, look at the time… gotta hurry.

Inko: Izuku!

Izuku: What!?

Inko: You’re mega cool right now.

Izuku: See you soon, mom!

Izuku(Narrating): And that was how my high school days officially began!

[Izuku arrives at UA]

Izuku(Narrating): Every year, less than 1 in every 300 examinees make it in. Only 36 kids passed. So with 18 kids in a class, that makes for two classes.

Izuku: Where is 1-A… This place is too back.

[Izuku arriving at 1-A]

Izuku: Well… this door’s humongous… guess it’s for an inclusive design. I’ll be alongside the chosen few who passed the exam.

[Izuku thinking about Iida and Bakugou]

Izuku(thinking): If only those two end up in 1-B, I’ll be eternally grateful.

Tenya: Don’t put your feet on the desk! Don’t you think that’s disrespectful towards your classmates!?

Katsuki: No, as a matter of face, I don’t think so. Which middle school are you from anyway, you two-bit extra!?

Izuku(Thinking): Just my luck!

Tenya: A private sch— ahem. I’m from Soumei Junior High School. The name’s Iida Tenya.

Katsuki: Soumei!? Well aren’t you an elite. Seems I’ve got a reason to fucking end you after all!

Tenya(shocked and maybe disgusted): What nerve! You, want to be a hero!?

[Iida Tenya spots Izuku]

Tenya: Hello, I’m Iida Tenya from Soumei—

Izuku: Oh yeah, haha, I overheard. Uhh… I’m Midoriya, nice to meet you, Iida.

Tenya: Midoriya, I must hand it to you. You divined the actual nature of the practical skills exam, didn’t you? I… was blind to iy! And I completel misread you! I hate to admit it, but you were the better man!

Izuku(Thinking): But… I didn’t realize it either.

Katsuki: Deku…

[Uraraka Ochako walks through the classroom doors]

Ochako: Ah! It’s you! Curly-haired kid! Glad I found you!

Izuku(thinking): It’s her! The nice girl! She looks amazing in her school grab!

Ochako: You made it, just like Present Mic said! Yay, go you! By the way, that punch was outta this world!

Izuku: No, it’s not like that, uhh, that is to say, it was really all thanks to you speaking on my behalf… I… uh…”

Ochako: Eh!? How did you know about that!?

[Bakugou having a dramatic flashback]

Teacher: This means that two kids from our middle school go into UA. Two! And Midoriya’s acceptance in particular is a miracle upon miracles!

[Bakugou and Izuku behind the school]

[Bakugou is holding onto izuku's uniform]

Katsuki: What dirty goddamn tick did you use to pass the exam, shithead!? I was supposed to be the first to enter UA from here. Me alone! You ripped my future glory to pieces and pissed all over it! I told you to go someplace else, fuckmunch!

[Izuku putting his hand on Bakugou’s arm to stop him]

Izuku: Someone… finally acknowledges me. Tey told me I could become a hero! Kacchan, I’ve won the right! You can’t stop me! I’m headed to UA!

[Flashback ends]

Bakugou(thinking): That [athetic rat actually put up a fight! There can’t not be a flipside to this.

Ochako: I wonder if today’s the ceremony? Or is it the guidance counselor stuff today? Oh, that the teacher, what’ll they be like? I’m so anxious, like wow!

[Aizawa in his sleeping bag on the floor like a homeless man]

Shouta: If you’re gonna be hunting for buddies, do it elsewhere. This is…

[Aizawa proceeds to pull out a jelly pouch and suck the life from it]

Shouta: of heroics!

Class A(collectively): Who the hell… is this guy!?

[Aizawa getting out of his sleeping bag]

Shouta: Hmm, it took you lot 8 seconds to quiet down. Life is short, kids. You’re all lacking in common sense.

Class A(collectively): Sensei!?

Izuku(muttering): So he must he a pro hero, too, huh…?

Izuku(Thinking): But… I’ve never heard of him. He looks washed-up…

Shouta: I’m your homeroom teacher, Aizawa Shouta. Pleasure meeting you.

Class A(collectively): Our homeroom teacher!?

[Aizawa pulls out the UA gym uniform]

Shouta: Put these on, immediately and then shove off to the P.E. grounds. 

[Small Might appears on screen]

Small Might: UA’s system is aberrant… depending on the homeroom teacher, even today they might…

[class 1-A on the field]

Class 1-A: A quirk apprehension test!?

Ochako: But what about the ceremony!? And the guidance counselor meeting!?

Shouta: If you want to be heroes, we don’t have timefor frilly niceties. You all understand the school’s reputation for freedom on campus. Well, that “freedom” goes for us senseis, too.

Shouta: Softball pitch. Standing long jumps. 50 meter dash. Endurance running. Grip strength test. Sustain side ways jups. Upperbody excise. Seated toe touch. Those are all activities you know from middle school, naturally. Physical tests where you were barred from using your quirks.

Shouta: The country still hasn’t gotten around to standardizing those sorts of records or keeping track of average performance levels. Well, tht’s negligence on the part of mext.

Shouta: Bakugou, how far could you throw a softball in middle school?

Katsuki: 67 meters.

Shouta: Try using your quirk this time around. As long as you don’t exit the circle, anything you do is fine. Don’t hold back.

[Bakugou winding up.]

Katsuki: You got it.

[throws the ball]

Katsuki: Die!

[Everyone is shocked]

Shouta: Before anything else, one must know what they’re capable of. This is a rational metric that will form the basis of your “hero foundation”.

[Shouta shows the meter counter, it’s at 705.2]

Unknown: Awesome!That looks so fun!

Unknown: 705 meters!? Unreal!

Unknown: We can really use your quirks now!? That’s the department of heroics for you!

Izuku(thinking): Uh-ho this is bad… 8 trails? This is all so sudden!

Shouta: It looks fun… you say?

Shouta: So you were planning to spend your three years here having a good ol’ time? What happened to becoming heroes? 

Shouta: All tight then, in that case, new rule: the student who ranks last in total points will be judged “hopeless” an instantly expelled.

Izuku(thinking): Whaaaa!? Seriously!?What am I going to do!?

[Small Might appears again]

Small Might: So they’ve got Aizawa, huh…

Small Might(thinking): Oh brother, they’re really in for it with this guy.

[The panel shows Aizawa’s file. On it, it reads: “Aizawa Shouta” “Codename: The erasing hero” “Name: Eraserhead” “Total number of expulsions: 154.” “Homeroom teacher of: class 1-A”]

[Back to Izuku]

Izuku: I’m still at all-or-nothing mode! I can’t adjust yet!

Shouta: Our “freedom” means we dispense with students as we please! Welcome to… the department of heroics!

Izuku(Narrating): My first day turned into a huge ordeal! What do I do!?

[bnha-manga-scripts]

Chapter Five

Note: Mext means: Ministry of Eduction, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

[Flash Back to the exam room]

Unknown: The results of the practical skill entrance examination are here. 

Unknown: We’ve had entrants ace off against that thing in the past, but it’s been quite a while since someones sent it flying like that.

???(I think it’s Mic): I couldn’t help but should “Yeeeeah!” when I saw that!

Unknown: At the other end of the spectrum, we have the kid who ranked 7th even without any villain points.

[They say as they show Midoriya Izuku in the panel]

Unknown: Though he earned 0 rescue points, Bakugou still placed first! Wow!

Unknown: He targeted the 1p and 2p villain-bots, approaching them slowly and continuously intercepting them to lure them into a flashy explosion blast once they’d gotten weaker during the second half of the exam. That kid’s as tough as they come.

[They say as Bakugou shows in the panel]

Unknown: But the injuries he incurred from the black-back were intense… it was almost like watching a child manifest for the first time.

Unknown: Kid’s definitely an anomaly, apart from that oen blow he was the picture candidate for rejection. 

Unknown(Pretty sure it’s Mic): Whatever, dudes, who cares!? I’ve taken a liking to him. He made me throw my hands up and go “Yeah!”.

Aizawa(Thinking): Jeez, what an idiot.

Izuku[Narrorating]: The night after the opening the notification letter. 8PM. We agreed to meet at seaside park.

Izuku: All Might! 

Small Might: Who the hecks that?!

Extra: Did someone say All Might!? Where!?

Small Might(Whispering): Quick kid, tell em ou mistook me for someone else.

Izuku(Covering his face, embarrassed): I mistook him for someone else!

Small Might: Congrats on passing. Just so you know, I didn’t inform the academy about our point of contact. You’re the type who’d worry that you got accepted solely by connections.

Small Might(thinking): I wasn’t even one of the judges.

Izuku: Thank you for thinking of me!

Izuku: I was surprised to hear that you’ve been made a teacher at UA! That’s why we need to meet here… I get it. But isn’t you office locatied at Roppongi, Minato War, Tokoyo, 6-12-...”

Small Might: Stop right there.

Small Might: Anyways, I told the academy about my predicament, but haven’t breathed a word about it to anyone else. I Had UA notify tme on the chance they found me a suitable successor.

Izuku(Thinking): Thats right… he said he’d been searching for a successor for a long time. I see… he was planning to choose among the stupids. It’s a hotbed of capable people, overflowing with awesome quirks.

[Izuku looks at his hands]

Izuku: One for All… just one punch or kick is all it takes to wreck my body… oh really… I can’t handle it at all.

Small Might: That can’t be helped for now. If you tried to get a guy who suddenly sprouted a tail to do tricks with it, he wouldn’t know how to control it properly enough to do so. It’s the same story here. 

Izuku: Huh? So you mean to say you saw all of that coming!?

Small Might: Well… there’s just been no time,,, but everything worked out all right…! Or should I say, All Might!

[Small Might picks up cans]

Small Might: Right now, you’re still stuck at all or nothing… but you can learn to tone down and adjust the power level and save your body the strain of a full-strength power emission.

[Buffs into All Might]

All Might: The more you build up the vessel. The more you can control the power within it!

[All Might crushes a can with one fist]

All Might: Like this!

All Might: Like unto the sacred fire of lore… the transferred flame is still small, but from now on, not even driving rain will check growth. 

Bystandards: Wait, isn’t that… it is! All Might!? When did he get here?!

All Might: Uh-oh. Let’s run.

[Midoriya and All Might began to sprint away]

All Might: And my flame will slowly fade away and eventually vanish and my duty will be done!

Bystander: He’s… so cool, huh?

[Time Skip to springtime and a new year]

Inko: Izuku!? Did you pack some tissues?

Izuku: Yes Mom.

Inko: What about your hanky? You can’t leave without a hanky, dear!

Izuku: Yes Mom.

[Izuku, tying his shoes in a hurry]

Izuku: I packed it! Ugh, look at the time… gotta hurry.

Inko: Izuku!

Izuku: What!?

Inko: You’re mega cool right now.

Izuku: See you soon, mom!

Izuku(Narrating): And that was how my high school days officially began!

[Izuku arrives at UA]

Izuku(Narrating): Every year, less than 1 in every 300 examinees make it in. Only 36 kids passed. So with 18 kids in a class, that makes for two classes.

Izuku: Where is 1-A… This place is too back.

[Izuku arriving at 1-A]

Izuku: Well… this door’s humongous… guess it’s for an inclusive design. I’ll be alongside the chosen few who passed the exam.

[Izuku thinking about Iida and Bakugou]

Izuku(thinking): If only those two end up in 1-B, I’ll be eternally grateful.

Tenya: Don’t put your feet on the desk! Don’t you think that’s disrespectful towards your classmates!?

Katsuki: No, as a matter of face, I don’t think so. Which middle school are you from anyway, you two-bit extra!?

Izuku(Thinking): Just my luck!

Tenya: A private sch— ahem. I’m from Soumei Junior High School. The name’s Iida Tenya.

Katsuki: Soumei!? Well aren’t you an elite. Seems I’ve got a reason to fucking end you after all!

Tenya(shocked and maybe disgusted): What nerve! You, want to be a hero!?

[Iida Tenya spots Izuku]

Tenya: Hello, I’m Iida Tenya from Soumei—

Izuku: Oh yeah, haha, I overheard. Uhh… I’m Midoriya, nice to meet you, Iida.

Tenya: Midoriya, I must hand it to you. You divined the actual nature of the practical skills exam, didn’t you? I… was blind to iy! And I completel misread you! I hate to admit it, but you were the better man!

Izuku(Thinking): But… I didn’t realize it either.

Katsuki: Deku…

[Uraraka Ochako walks through the classroom doors]

Ochako: Ah! It’s you! Curly-haired kid! Glad I found you!

Izuku(thinking): It’s her! The nice girl! She looks amazing in her school grab!

Ochako: You made it, just like Present Mic said! Yay, go you! By the way, that punch was outta this world!

Izuku: No, it’s not like that, uhh, that is to say, it was really all thanks to you speaking on my behalf… I… uh…”

Ochako: Eh!? How did you know about that!?

[Bakugou having a dramatic flashback]

Teacher: This means that two kids from our middle school go into UA. Two! And Midoriya’s acceptance in particular is a miracle upon miracles!

[Bakugou and Izuku behind the school]

[Bakugou is holding onto izuku's uniform]

Katsuki: What dirty goddamn tick did you use to pass the exam, shithead!? I was supposed to be the first to enter UA from here. Me alone! You ripped my future glory to pieces and pissed all over it! I told you to go someplace else, fuckmunch!

[Izuku putting his hand on Bakugou’s arm to stop him]

Izuku: Someone… finally acknowledges me. Tey told me I could become a hero! Kacchan, I’ve won the right! You can’t stop me! I’m headed to UA!

[Flashback ends]

Bakugou(thinking): That [athetic rat actually put up a fight! There can’t not be a flipside to this.

Ochako: I wonder if today’s the ceremony? Or is it the guidance counselor stuff today? Oh, that the teacher, what’ll they be like? I’m so anxious, like wow!

[Aizawa in his sleeping bag on the floor like a homeless man]

Shouta: If you’re gonna be hunting for buddies, do it elsewhere. This is…

[Aizawa proceeds to pull out a jelly pouch and suck the life from it]

Shouta: of heroics!

Class A(collectively): Who the hell… is this guy!?

[Aizawa getting out of his sleeping bag]

Shouta: Hmm, it took you lot 8 seconds to quiet down. Life is short, kids. You’re all lacking in common sense.

Class A(collectively): Sensei!?

Izuku(muttering): So he must he a pro hero, too, huh…?

Izuku(Thinking): But… I’ve never heard of him. He looks washed-up…

Shouta: I’m your homeroom teacher, Aizawa Shouta. Pleasure meeting you.

Class A(collectively): Our homeroom teacher!?

[Aizawa pulls out the UA gym uniform]

Shouta: Put these on, immediately and then shove off to the P.E. grounds. 

[Small Might appears on screen]

Small Might: UA’s system is aberrant… depending on the homeroom teacher, even today they might…

[class 1-A on the field]

Class 1-A: A quirk apprehension test!?

Ochako: But what about the ceremony!? And the guidance counselor meeting!?

Shouta: If you want to be heroes, we don’t have timefor frilly niceties. You all understand the school’s reputation for freedom on campus. Well, that “freedom” goes for us senseis, too.

Shouta: Softball pitch. Standing long jumps. 50 meter dash. Endurance running. Grip strength test. Sustain side ways jups. Upperbody excise. Seated toe touch. Those are all activities you know from middle school, naturally. Physical tests where you were barred from using your quirks.

Shouta: The country still hasn’t gotten around to standardizing those sorts of records or keeping track of average performance levels. Well, tht’s negligence on the part of mext.

Shouta: Bakugou, how far could you throw a softball in middle school?

Katsuki: 67 meters.

Shouta: Try using your quirk this time around. As long as you don’t exit the circle, anything you do is fine. Don’t hold back.

[Bakugou winding up.]

Katsuki: You got it.

[throws the ball]

Katsuki: Die!

[Everyone is shocked]

Shouta: Before anything else, one must know what they’re capable of. This is a rational metric that will form the basis of your “hero foundation”.

[Shouta shows the meter counter, it’s at 705.2]

Unknown: Awesome!That looks so fun!

Unknown: 705 meters!? Unreal!

Unknown: We can really use your quirks now!? That’s the department of heroics for you!

Izuku(thinking): Uh-ho this is bad… 8 trails? This is all so sudden!

Shouta: It looks fun… you say?

Shouta: So you were planning to spend your three years here having a good ol’ time? What happened to becoming heroes? 

Shouta: All tight then, in that case, new rule: the student who ranks last in total points will be judged “hopeless” an instantly expelled.

Izuku(thinking): Whaaaa!? Seriously!?What am I going to do!?

[Small Might appears again]

Small Might: So they’ve got Aizawa, huh…

Small Might(thinking): Oh brother, they’re really in for it with this guy.

[The panel shows Aizawa’s file. On it, it reads: “Aizawa Shouta” “Codename: The erasing hero” “Name: Eraserhead” “Total number of expulsions: 154.” “Homeroom teacher of: class 1-A”]

[Back to Izuku]

Izuku: I’m still at all-or-nothing mode! I can’t adjust yet!

Shouta: Our “freedom” means we dispense with students as we please! Welcome to… the department of heroics!

Izuku(Narrating): My first day turned into a huge ordeal! What do I do!?

[kareniliana]

Jeremy: Meet Again

A//N: a little different and low key long. not really first time meeting but you'll see the connection when you read it. Also if you want to request something just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one!

xx Karebear 💛🧸

Being a sixteen year old in high school is stressful enough but being a sixteen year old witch, with little to no friends and absentee parents makes it harder for you to get your emotions in check. But you were able to find something that helps calm you, weed. You don’t necessarily need it but when the moon is full, your powers are enhanced and a little out of control. 

okay that's a little bit a lie, they become too much for you to control. Thats where the amazing marijuana plant comes in handy, it calms your anger. You've always had problems controlling your anger. At one point your parent’s noticed too many holes in the walls of your personal rage room and sent you to anger management.

It helped for a few weeks but when the full moon was in effect, all that progress- everything that you learned, it went down the drain. You slowly became more and more angry and uncontrolled during the day but at night. It only seemed to get worse for you.You don't sleep because it gets too hot upstairs. You go down to your basement, where your parents moved your rage room to, for this reason exactly. Over the night you continually get fed up and release the pain and anxiety and anger against the four walls of your rage room. You thought you were helpless and a waste of energy to help. 

You were contemplating on your life, if it was ever even worth the trouble to get to know or help. Having no real friends doesn’t help either. As you lit up a joint in the stoner pit you see the regular groups of people who use drugs to escape from everything but that wasn’t you. You weren’t escaping reality, you were reverting back to the median. Your emotions sometimes gets the best of you and with your magic you start chaos.

“Y/n Y/l/n” Your one and basically only friend comes up to you and sits with you before school starts.

“Jeremy Gilbert, to what do I owe the pleasure” you joked and laughed as you passed the small joint to Jer.

“So I found some stuff out these past few weeks. I just need someone to talk to.” He said almost awkwardly, hitting the J and passing it back to you. You looked into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes, almost getting lost in them. You shake your head of any intimate visuals your brain is coming up with.

Jer smirks, almost as if he knows about your little crush for him. “but uh, You cannot tell anyone, not a single soul.” He looks at you with soft and adoring eyes, almost making you think maybe he likes you too? 

“Who am I going to tell, my weed?” You joke, lifting the joint to your lips. “Seriously though, what is it?”

He sighed deeply before looking at you with worried eyes, “Vampires and werewolves and witches- they exist. They’re real, we have students who are supernatural creatures.” He drops the bomb, studying you for any kind of reaction. You held a straight face, you’re a witch. But you didn’t know about werewolves and vampires, you really only know about witches because why the hell else would you research more on the supernatural spectrum?

“You can’t be serious Jer.” You stared into his eyes looking for a hint of dishonesty, but he wasn’t budging.

“Why would I lie to you? We think someone here is a new incoming witch, and we need to find them and help get their magic under control before something big happens.” His voice sounds worried and caring but who else here is a witch.

“What makes you think that?” You asked, a little worried because you can admit sometimes you lose control at school but you never knew if it was noticeable or not. You’re a loner, no one really cares if you’re having a panic attack or whatnot.

“You cannot tell me you haven’t noticed all the bizarre shit that’s been happening here? Just yesterday before lunch everyones locker in the halls opened. Everyone heard the sound of them opening simultaneously, it sounded like a canon!” You realized you were the witch they were looking for, you had birthday dinner set with your parents but they called you during class to inform you they were sent on a business trip to New York for a client. Which meant they were canceling on you. For the third birthday in a row. You lost control of your emotions and you let it out as a scream, you heard the echo of the lockers burst open from the basement of the school. 

“A few days ago Stefan and Caroline were mind tased that only a witch can do. And-” Jeremy looking to the two vampire from a few yards away, your face tinging with guilt, every time you went to let your anger out, you did something to the school or something around you. 

“-Wait, why only Stefan and Caroline? Are they..” you interrupted.

“Vampires. Luckily no one else was in the halls...” your head falls in disappointment, a frown and sad eyes very evident. Jeremy looks back over to you, instantly concerning himself. 

“Whats wrong? Wait, hey Y/n, what happened?” Jeremys hand reaches for your face, lifting your head to look at him. Tears formed, threatening to spill out. Guilt was written all over your face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone I swear I just get so angry. I- I -” Your bottom lip started to quiver, almost sobbing you looked over to the vampires, “I’m really really sorry.”

“Hey wait, what are you...” He tried comforting you as he realized it was you they are looking for. “oh... it- it’s you. You're the witch.” You nodded your head, leaning away from him. He’s gonna see you differently now. He’s gonna hate you. He’s gonna leave, and you'll be all alone... your breath quickly increased, becoming into a panic attack and it’s beginning to become too overwhelming.

As your breathing increases, clouds roll in slowly covering the sun, then the wind starts raging around you all, you were doing this without even realizing it. It scared you more. 

“Y/n? No, hey hey its okay.” he tried reaching for you, but you were too fast. Jumping off the deck and running to your car. Then suddenly the clouds begins to crack with thunder, you can see the lightning across the clouds, ready to strike the earth.

You saw Stefan and Caroline begin to run to you but without really thinking you wave your hand at them, sending them flying into a bus. You ran without a second look back. Getting to your car and driving home, down the lonely winding road to your driveway, passing other driveways to the very few neighbors you have. 

“Okay, calm yourself!” You shouted at yourself as you hit the steering wheel, causing the storm to hail down rain. Suddenly you got the feeling os pins and needles all throughout your body, every muscle you felt a stab or slicing. You can feel your skin warming up.

“No, no, no, no, no, this cannot be happening!” You gripped the wheel and let all hell loose, screaming at the top of the lungs. A wave of power and force struck out from your body, feeling a wave of calmness come over you. You stopped the car, keeping your eyes closed hoping you were able to hold back the storm in your brain and above you in the dark sky.

You got your breathing under control, opening your eyes you see the storm is rolling away, and the sun is shining through. You chuckled, you were able to pull it back. “I did it, I really did it?” You smiled at yourself, letting out a deep breath. You got out of the car to really look at the sky.

As you got out, you look ahead and see tire skid marks on the road, they look fresh. You following the trail to a crash and totaled car, thrown again a wall of trees. Bringing tears instantly to your eyes, you hurt someone.

“Please be alive, oh, please be alive!” You scream trying to open the door but it’s at a weird angle the side doors aren’t opening and you're not climbing the death trap to the top. You can see blood on the windshield and drivers window, anxiety making your hands begin to shake.

“Okay... Think! Think!” You yelled and hit at your head. “You're a Goddamn powerful witch, start acting like it!”

You took a deep breath, standing a few feet away. You concentrated all of your magic to lift and stabilize the wrecked vehicle. Closing your eyes and feeling the earths pull on the car resist you, smirking at the feeling of power for good and not an emotional outbreak. 

“Y/n! Y/N!! WHERE ARE YOU?” Jeremy, Caroline and Stefan followed after you in Carolines car. Jeremy convinced Stefan to let him go look after you alone. You trust him, you know him, you don’t trust Stefan- you barely know him. And Caroline has a reputation, you make it your mission to avoid her.

You opened your eyes seeing the car is now on all four wheels, you exclaimed in excitement. “I’m here, their bleeding! Come help me!” you walked into view, he stood at the road near your car. Jeremy saw you emerge from the trees and ran to you.

“Help me get them out!” You didn’t even give Jeremy a chance to get to you before you sprinted to the car. You can’t be responsible for killing someone.

“What happened?” He asked as you try to pry the doors open.

“I happened! What else?!” You exclaimed as it finally gave in and opened. The bloody elderly man in the passengers seat had cut’s everywhere, he lifted his hand just for it to fall again, letting go of his last breath.

“No, no! Stefan!!” Jeremy screamed the second we got the door opened. The vampires showing up not even a second later. “Help him!”

Stefan listened for a heartbeat, but there was nothing. “I’m sorry, he’s gone.” Stefan says sadly.

“But, no...” You said sadly, “I killed him? I actually killed him?” You looked to Jer.

“Can you explain to me what kind of witch you are? ‘Cause I’ve never seen just one witch make that bad of a storm and especially not that fast.” Stefan asked nicely but worried. You looked to Stefan with a scrunched up face, wondering how he could jump from you killing an innocent man to your supernatural abilities. But it slowly made sense, he’s probably an older vampire than you thought and has more experience with this than you did. 

Your face relaxed into a frown, “I don’t know, just a regular witch. I don’t even know that much. I don’t know anyone in my family who could be a witch. I have some control of it... except..” You sighed deeply, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

“Except when?” Stefan said a little more sternly than before, taking a step towards you. Caroline grabbed his arm holding him back and interrupting.

“This seems like a witch problem for Bonnie. She can help you get control, no matter what it is, we can help.” Caroline said with a nod and soft smile. You returned her a smile of your own.

“But what do we do now? About him?” You asked about the dead man in the totaled car. Stefan walked towards the door, seeing the man drenched in his own blood but none of the windows are broken.

You brought Stefan’s attention away, “What am I supposed to do? Should I turn myself in?”

“Y/n, when do you have the least amount of control?” He asked sternly and worried, like he was depending on my answer to be best case scenario. 

You gulped loudly, “during the full moon” you muttered, everyones eyes on you. They looked confused yet scared.

“Y/n, look at him. Tell me, how did he die by this much blood loss without any broken windows, the car I trashed but the windows are for the most part intact.”He spoke softly, almost guiding me through his thought process. You looked up at him confused by the scene in front of you.

“What were you feeling when the accident happened?” Jeremy asked, almost catching on to what Stefan was trying to conclude. 

“I... first, I felt this overwhelming feeling of fear and self anger. Then I felt almost like something was slicing into my muscles, kinda like pins and needles... And I was hot, like I kept trying to stay warm but I couldn’t...” You looked down before asking, “Instead of me feeling that pain, I passed it to him?”

Jer sighed sadly,“Yeah. but his body doesn't heal like yours, because he's human... and you’re...” 

“A witch...” You finished, looking down with a frown on your face and sad eyes.

“And a werewolf.” Stefan added, causing your head to whip up at him. Confusion and sadness written on your face.

“What? Is that even possible?” You asked looking back and forth between Stefan and Jeremy.

“We’re not sure but if we’re right, you just triggered the curse.” Stefan said point-blank.

“No, I can’t be!” You raised your voice at Stefan.

“You have trouble controlling your anger, you lose control of your magic on the full moon during the day.” He said quickly, almost scared of you losing control again. “What happens at night? Huh?” 

You thought back to those sleepless nights of complete chaos, you’re starting to think he’s right.

“Tonight’s a full moon. What can we do to help?” Caroline spoke up, worried for you. 

“I need to figure out how to control it, what if now that I actually triggered it, it’s only worse from here?” You asked, worried out of your mind.

“Don’t think of it like that, I think you can do it. You just have to believe in yourself. Okay?” Jeremy brought his hands to your shoulders, comforting you. “Maybe now, you’re not bounded. You can shift and feel it instead of passing it on.”

Jeremy hugged you, trying his hardest to help keep you calm. He was worried for you. He was scared this would be too much for you and you’d end up hurting yourself instead.

“Okay, Jeremy get her out of here. We got this okay.” Stefan said, suggesting he would make it go away or at least make sure nothing points to you or Jeremy.

Jeremy takes you home, you showed him your rage room with all it’s damage and glory. He thought it would be best to stay here where you’re most comfortable and your parents were still out of town. Being worldly known defense lawyers means, business trips to New York or L.A. or Seattle. Really anywhere but Mystic Falls.

“Okay So I called Tyler and Bonnie. They should be here soon.” Jeremy sat down on the sofa with you, looking over to you. You sat up and looked confused to why you needed Tyler.

“He’s a werewolf, he can help guide you through the shift. He’s probably going to say something like ‘accept the pain’ blah blah.” He joked, making you laugh a little.

“Can you stay with me?” You asked shyly, after the laughter died down a little.

“You sure?” He asked looking at you with worried but loving eyes, getting lost in your y/e/c eyes.

“I’m basically going to go through the shift with strangers, I don’t think I could do it without you there. But if you don’t feel safe-”

“I’ll stay” His hand reached for yours, giving it a little squeeze. “You need me, I’m not leaving.”

You looked up from your hands to his eyes, you smile softly. You opened your mouth to say something but then the doorbell goes off. Almost scaring you both, you go to the door. Opening it to see Tyler Lockwood and Bonnie Bennett. You never in your life expected to ever see them at your front door, let alone being the supernatural creatures that they are. Crazy how life turns when you found out you're not human.

You showed them your rage room, and ensured them that your parents will not be in town for a few days. Then Tyler pulled out sets of chains and some restraining equipment, Tyler drilled anchor points on three of the wall and ground. Bonnie began to assemble the wrist clasps and what looked like a collar but metal. This all began to start to scare you and you could feel your magic begin to storm. But shortly after the magic spark, you could feel your body radiate extreme heat. Jeremy was helping Tyler connect the chains to the anchor points. You stood there confused, in pain and beginning to lose yourself. But then you’d catch a glimpse of Jeremy and you came back to the median. When this cycle of pain and anxiety came, you'd look to Jeremy and you'd look back to you with a smile, and you seemed to get control. 

Until suddenly, your bones begin to break. You screamed in pain and fell down to the floor. “Jer!”

“It’s starting already?! But the moon isn’t even at in effect yet!” Tyler exclaimed, helping you get up from the floor.

“Oh yeah? Well why did it start nearly an hour ago! Ahh!” Your arm breaks, you’re a panting sweaty mess. Tyler, Bonnie and Jeremy are trying chain you up but it’s a little difficult when you’re in the middle of shifting. Then the agonizing pain of your fangs coming out causes you to roar in pain, your eyes glowing an iridescent yellow. Claws and wolf hair growing out of everywhere. 

Tyler pushed Jeremy towards the wall, getting him out of harms way. Jeremy watched in amazement, he’s never seen a shift like this one. It was oddly controlled. You moved as if you’ve done this before, but everyone knows you haven’t. Jeremy didn’t realize he was the reason why she was so relaxed and accepting, he would look at you and you’d remember what he said. just believe in yourself.

Bonnie and Tyler moved back once they finally closed the last cuff. You roared, but held onto your humanity, you stayed in this half way form, holding Jeremy’s gaze.

“Yeah that's it Y/n, you got it. Just accept it, embrace it, don’t fight it. Okay?” Jeremys calm voice led you do letting go of your fears and you let yourself finish your shift. Your clothes ripped into shreds as you transformed into a white wolf with your bright iridescent eyes- even your fur seemed to glow a yellow tint. You glowed, truly glowed. The three of them stared in amazement, this was their first time experiencing something so magical and boundless.

Once they realized you were shifting back to human they left the room for you and bonnie, she brought down some clothes of yours that weren’t shredded to pieces. She released you from the restraints and handed you the clean clothes. As you got dressed you talked about your magic and how in control you seemed, she goes on to say that maybe your problem isn’t losing the control it’s that you get scared and make yourself lose it. You’re scared of what embracing the magic can do to you. She mentioned she also was scared of fully embracing it and letting herself be powerful.

“Last night you were too focused on your shift that your magic was controlled. You never wavered. You should be proud of yourself.” Bonnie praised you and had left a few spell books with you to help you get comfortable using your magic. 

You followed after Bonnie to the front door, walking Tyler and her out. “Thanks for everything, I know who to call if I’m in trouble with the shift.”

“Call me for anything.” Bonnie smiled and got into her car, Tyler opening the door and nodding at you before getting in. He rolled the window down.

“You got this, if you ever need anyone to let off some steam, come to me. We can figure out healthy ways to release that anger.” Tyler waved and they were off. Jeremy came out from the bathroom, grabbing his jacket. 

“I have to get home to shower before school.” He pulled his phone out as he received a text from Elena. You turned around as you heard her car pull up before you can see it. This werewolf hearing is gonna take a while to get used to. 

“I’ll see you there?” He asked, worried you weren’t going to school. 

“Yeah, of course. I- I feel good. I think I got a good handle on it now.” You smiled proudly in yourself. He smiled with you.

“I’m proud of you too.” He went down the steps and climbed into his sisters car, as they drove off you could hear Elena tease Jeremy about you.

You ran upstairs getting to finally shower off this exhaustion and soreness, shifting was painful but once you’re through it, it feels like a huge relief. You’re at peace and calmed. but now you’re back to human form, and it’s like your personalities of each are at each others neck. You were able to control it and keep them at bay. You weren’t helpless, you’re not a lost cause. You were helped, after all those terrible sleepless nights and the pain, the feeling of being alone in your pain and agony. You were found, you found yourself. You’re more you than you’ve been.

You cleaned up your rage room and put a lock on it, that way your parents don’t get curious and check it out- not that they have but just a precaution. Getting everything locked up and squared away you got int your car and went to school, driving past the site of the accident there was police tape a little ways into the woods. Stefan and Caroline had told the sheriff the truth, seeing as she knew about the supernaturals and helped cover up some major instances. Much like the accident you caused, which you will never stop feeling bad about. You don’t think you’ll be able to look at a human life the same again. Because you had to take a life to finally feel free and like yourself. You never knew being a were-witch would be the answer to your emotional health. 

You pulled into a parking spot, getting your things together before getting out. Seeing Jeremy leaning on a tree, waiting for you nearby. You smiled at him and walked to him. 

“You seem different.” Jeremy pointed out once you reached him. You smiled up at him.

“Yeah I feel different. I don’t feel like the same Y/n as before.” You chuckled, embracing yourself for the first time is empowering.

“In that case. Hi, I’m Jeremy and I'm a Human.” Jeremy held his hand out, meeting you all over again.

You laughed and played along, “Hi Jeremy, I’m Y/n. A Were-witch.” You giggled, feeling a sense of self.

You gave him your hand, not letting go of your gaze. He smiled at you and pulled you into a hug.

[liathgray]

Cede I would absolutely love to see a list of why Ed is on the spectrum and adhd,,,, if you find the time,,,, pls let us see

ED IS AUTISTIC/ ADHD!

Okay its like. 11:30 right now and I’m not super coherent cause haha Tired but I’m gonna try to just quickly list off a lot of the major things but uhh.

I’m not dividing up the ADHD and autism traits cause theres a lot of overlap and also im projecting and hve both. AHEM!!

- has a comfort item, gets pissed when it gets made fun of or ruined (his COAT!!)

- hyperfixating on certain fields of research (Marcoh’s notes, bioalchemy, human)

- guys alchemy is his special intrest please listen. Listen. Remember how in Rush Valley he compared childbirth to alchemy? THATS EXACTLY WHAT A SPECIAL INTEREST IS FOR! It helps us interpret and interact with the world!

- experiences emotional shutdowns (Nina, after finding out about Hughes, when Winry saw the inside of his watch, Hohenheim’s return to Resembool etc.)

- Ed has physical meltdowns too, most notably when he dug up what he and Al transmuted together. This was shown to literally knock him down for a full day and the storm made it worse on top of that.

- he’s not good at articulating himself outside of alchemy/ his special interest.

- He often doesn’t understand why what he says might upset people (like Rose)

- uses what he DOES know (alchemy, research, fighting) to communicate his feelings to those around him in the best way he can, like the fight with Al on the roof or when he proposed to Winry

- his brain is wired differently. Like we just see it in how he picks things apart during the show

- this one is small but I will never forget the scene in Rush Valley when Ed was desperately covering his ears from the whole childbirth thing. Like yeah understandable but also. Sensory issues

- actually Ed has more sensory stuff then that. Especially with sounds, I’ve noticed. He reacts to noise or words very animatedly and also Really Really dislikes being tactile. Ed dosnt really want to be touched if he can help it (mood)

- has little stims and tics!! He twirls his pen in enough episodes for me to think its a habit and always does this super specific 🧐 gesture. Also the clapping can definitely count as a reflexive impusle

- low key same foods (ACHOOO Apple pie)

- cannot Compute. When people. Do. Things sometimes. Like why is Mustang helping me?? Why does Hughes keep visiting my hospital room? Why is Major Armstrong Like That? He Isnt great at reading people unless hes close with them!

- the fact that Ed has no volume control and also yells a lot (vocal stim im JUST sayin—)

- WICKED tunnel vision when he gets interested in a topic. It was pointed out straight up in the Nina ep.

- okay my hands are gettibg tired and those are all the ones that can be backed up with evidence without me extrapolating. There’s some more but I don’t wanna have to analyze this too much lmao

[12-toads-in-a-trench-coat]

since river asked: here is an older infodump :)

so um basically technos this big gruff man, hardened by years of war and violence and fighting, but phil is just as rough-knuckled and like theyre on opposite ends of the spectrum, like techno is angry and mean and doesnt speak and doesnt trust anyone because of it, but phil is friendly and chirpy and hes still so full of love and he wears his emotions on his sleeves and i imagine technos voices getting to him. and its dark in his house and phil just comes over, presses their foreheads together, takes techno's fists, unfurls them and says something like "you can rest now. unclench your jaw, the war is over" in that soft voice and techno subconsciously does so, and he just silently breaks down and falls to his knees and phil just holds him and rubs circles on technos back and theyre so comfortable in each other (also i like to think wilbur comforts tommy by rubbing circles on his back because phil did to wilbur as a child)

i like to think techno was the one who thought of friendship emeralds he comes home after like, weeks of being away and its because he wanted to find the perfect emeralds and he doesn't let phil into his house while hes making them and phils frustrated cause thats a shiny thing he has to see the shiny thing and techno makes them into matching shapes, puts it onto a necklace and is very embarrassed when he gives it to phil so phil wears his on a necklace and techno has his as an earring

i like to think techno has bad proprioception(basically knowing how much force ur putting out and where your body is in time, and space, its an autistic thing most of the time) so phil noticed this because techno would always get steve to lie on him and hed have cloaks that were really really fucking heavy, so phil made techno a weighted blanket

i also think phils a cartographer so his hands are always covered in ink, glasses reflecting the flickering lamplight as he works late into the night techno coming home at an ungodly hour: u still up? why are you still up? get into bed right now and phil just being reluctant because its a really cool updated version and does techno see this massive fucking river how cool is that and techno just smiling fondly and bringing phil to bed and on sleeping sometimes i think techno would be afraid of sleeping cause he has nightmares of the wars hes been in and phil just comforting him, staying with him the entire night

techno waking up like: brooo u didnt have to say the whole night did you sleep at all? and phil just going: its fine idm techno stressing that hes depriving his friend of sleep and phil just treating it normally just like its nothing

and phil tries so hard to make a medicine that makes technos voices go away, or at least subside and techno finds him, asleep at his desk and hes so worried about his best friend he literally carries him to his bed

and techno doesnt like the potions cause they taste horrible and he doesnt like potions all that much cause he thinks they make him weak but he drinks them anyway because phil cares

oh and techno gets cold really easily like a strider from minecraft and when he sleeps hes in this cocoon yeah. i just like them. big gruff old men who are scary and traumatised but who find solace in each other <333333

no matter how cringe i become, i will always defend emduo with my entire FUCKING life EMERALD DUO MY BELOVED

[creative-oasis]

So like I know this has been a upcoming thing but I wondered if anyone else considered or coined this before.

Recently AJR came out with their new album "Ok Orchestra" and let me tell you it is a-mazing. But I had a thought, there has been a surge of things I like to call "existential pop" this included artists like AJR, Melanie Martinez, Jon Bellion just to name a few. (I could be totally wrong but) The reason I started noticing this is because these artists tackle topics that aren't just oh yah know "relationships, sex, drugs, and being rich" and a lot of the common tropes of a lot of pop songs. Now don't get me wrong, they are definitely mentioned but its done in a way that flips the script. For example Melainie Matienez covers relationships in her song "Highschool Sweetheart" but it isn't about "oh yes I have to follow all these gender defined roles in a relationship" its a song about her having standards for what she wants from a relationship and how she wants certain things ou t of that relationship and she's not going to just settle (which is what, honestly, a lot off people all over the gender spectrum are forced to do because they don't think they have a choice to do anything else.) Now a lot of people thought she was being demanding and unfair, but when you think of it all people are entitled to want specific things out of a relationship and to have their needs met while also being equals. Now Melanie Martinez since she started making content has broken a lot of preconceived song rules, from talking about tough topics of life in school in k-12 to talking about dysfunction in families and relationship in Crybaby. But thats a tangent. What i wanted to talk about was AJR because I can't help but think that this trend of basically having an existential crisis in song form is what AJR is now being immortalized as. In my opinion.

First off, the entire album is a massive hit and people can fight me on that (though I don't see anyone fighting) Second I wanted to mention a a handful of songs that just stand out and those songs are (but who am I kidding the whole album is fanstatic). I'll go in order of the album

"3 o'clock Things" by AJR is a this sort of collage of thoughts and questions that people realize that they have to keep hidden to stay in favor with the people around them from the bullshit of capitalism, to the truth that not everyone is great at sex and how thats a standard people are judged on so people fabricate or omit things to stay "positively veiwed" to the hot button idea that the American government is rigged and how people and artists are forced to keep quiet about their beliefs because of their ratings whether it be about race, religion, sexuality etc. (Those last two are not mentioned but implied as they are factors that can change someone's idea of you). The chorus "would you go running if you saw the real me. Maybe you'd love him , yeah, maybe you'd feel me. But I'll never ask you cause that super scary. Sorry to bail its already 3 o'clock, its too hard to tell if anything real or not" Sums up the gist of the feelings behind the song

"The Trick" by AJR, this song i relate to so much, the idea of lying to make yourself something you aren't ashamed of and to maybe start knew or just impress or relate to others. The idea that as the song states that one can't have full access to the life or emotional well being of the other because someone has set up their own pitfalls by trying to be authentic and how "oh my god [we're] screwed". I love how its realistic and understandable make song about the fact that you can lie about your life to find relationships but the truth is its not going to come without traps.

"Humpty Dumpty" by AJR, and entire song about repressing emotions and hiding true feelings because we want to give people "the best me" and how that only makes things more fragile and broken. Depression and numbness only be BROKEN up by panic attacks and anger or at least intense emotions. as any therapist will tell you repressing emotions just makes it so much worse in the long run. There isn't a full resolution at the end. I mean part the chorus is literally "humpty dumpy went downn He said screw it imma smile right through it and scream when no ones around" if that tells you anything.

"World's Smallest Violin" by AJR. (Not gonna lie this song is the whole reason I wanted to make this post.) I mean a song about comparing the past struggles of people in your life to yourself and how you as a person feel like utter shit that other people have "worse problems" and that we as people just want to feel validated and are looking for people to make us feel normal. Also its catchy as fuck so yeah!

And of course,

"Way Less Sad" by AJR which came out a little before the album came out but became a huge favorite, its kinda really similar and almost a follow up to "World's Smallest Violin " and happens to be right after, but the whole idea of settling for way less sad because your sadness isn't as bad as what it used to be and setting your bar lower and lower is....a big fucking mood but honestly if you relate to the line "but I'm not dead yet so I guess I'll be alright" then definitely check it out

To be honest I side tracked from what I originally made this post about essentially I think artists should be bold and break the mold of music and if like...."existential pop" is a fair name to call these artist or if you think it should be called something else then let me know because I'd love to know what to fucking call it.

Was a this a shameless attempt to get people to listen to AJR? Yes. Do I want people to listen to AJR? Yes. Am I looking for more existential pop artist? Yes.

So uh......yeah

[petewentzisblack1312]

Hi… I wanted to ask this on anon so I didn’t ask on your personal, idk if this is too personal or anything to ask but

Do you have a problem with people saying they have a mental disorder if they don’t have a diagnosis? Like for me so… I have been diagnosed with anxiety but I am like 99% sure I have bipolar disorder. And like I know you can’t diagnose me so I’m not going to go into depth with my symptoms but ever since I was like, 11, I used to get very depressed to the point where I contemplated ending it but then i would snap out of it and I think for me my manic phase are hypomanic bc ive never experienced like the full range of those symptoms but my depressive phases get very rough esp if I have external stressors but it will go through what I assume to be these phases like sometimes within the day esp if I have a stressor.

I am in nursing school and I work at a psych hospital so like this isn’t coming out of nowhere, I am very familiar with all mental disorders and it was actually during my psych nursing class and learning about bipolar disorder that I was like… hm… why does this feel like a mirror right now. I am aware I should get to a therapist and get an actual diagnosis (if I had money I would lol) but like idk. Idk if it’s worth going to my doctor at my physical and being like “hey I think I have this” I am lucky enough now that I am in a good place and can manage my symptoms but I am terrified I will go through a stressor again and lose it so idk. I mean I feel like I already know the answer but I wanted to ask anyway to see your take :/

Anyway idk as a future medical professional I think self diagnosis got a bad rep and it’s like idk I think for mental disorders esp you can tell if you have anxiety and it’s a persistent problem. You can tell if you have depression. I know bipolar disorder is harder to diagnose but idk I think since I’m in the field it’s easier? Idk I felt like a sense of relief with learning about it and finding similarities and being like “well maybe that’s why I’m like that”. But idk now I’m feeling uneasy bc I don’t have a diagnosis and I don’t want to be like, stepping over people who were diagnosed. Thank you in advance if you read all this and yeah I’m sorry I know it’s a lot and this is controversial

ok this is a long post so im putting it under a cut but tldr, no i dont have a problem with it. it doesnt matter if you actually have an illness, it matters if you find a solution to your problem. if treating yourself like you have a certain condition makes it easier to go through life, then keep doing what works for you, you are doing nothing wrong. this all goes for physical and mental illnesses.

im a firm proponent of self diagnosis. i wouldnt be here if i didnt have the confidence to research mental illnesses and advocate for myself. as someone who is extremely familiar with the medical profession on account of being the daughter of a doctor and a nurse and spending my childhood running around a hospital, im extremely privileged to even have the knowledge and ability to do so, and i try to bear in mind the understandable hesitancy of people without this advantage. i know that you are well within your right to refuse medication that makes you sick, i know that you can complain about a doctor that isnt listening to you, i know that you are allowed and encouraged to be adamant about things you are told dont matter, and in addition to that, i have a VERY well known doctor and a nurse in my corner, and i am STILL treated as though i do not understand my own experiences enough to have any authority more often than i am not.

the reason self diagnosis gets a bad rep imo is because people have constructed this boogeyman of the worst case scenario, people collecting mental illnesses they dont have for attention as opposed to what it is, people doing research into their experiences and making theories on what they have so they can manage it. youll often see the take of "i dont hate self dxd i just hate people who do it for attention" and i think thats very irresponsible considering a symptom of many mental illnesses is thinking youre faking it and doing it for attention, nevermind the fact that attention seeking behaviour is literally a symptom of many mental illnesses people often dont want to empathize with. gatekeeping whos illness is real just keeps people who need help out. i could go into an anarchist screed about democratizing health, but basically, as someone whos life has been saved by my insistence on self diagnosis, and whos life has been made significantly easier by treating myself as though i have the conditions that i theorize i have, self diagnosis saves lives, and i, as an advocate for disabled people of all kinds on my island, will never put any conditionals on self diagnosis. it doesnt matter if you find the right name for your problem, it matters if you find a solution that works. i have yet to meet any of these fabled people who never try to receive a professional opinion, only people who literally cant.

as for feeling guilty, ill repeat how i opened this answer: it does not matter what exactly your problem is, it matters that you find a solution that works. in medicine generally, there will be a wide spectrum of problems with overlapping treatments, things which are similar but distinct, things which look identical but are completely different and at different levels of concern. it doesnt really matter which grab bag of bullshit your brain is reaching from, it matters that you know how to deal with what it throws at you, whatever that may be. dont worry about getting it right, worry about getting it working. okay?

for advice on how to deal with doctors, its helpful to pose it as a hypothetical as opposed to an absolute. when i bring up things im dealing with that i have a theory about i say "i think i have x" or "i think i might have x" or "i have a lot of symptoms of x". doctors are often egotistical and are easily challenged so it helps to pose it at a problem they can solve as opposed to one youve solved for them otherwise they get spooked. in my experience posing it this way leads them to actually interrogate this line of symptoms, and theyll ask you why you think that, and you can bring up symptoms that led you to that conclusion, and ones that give you trouble especially. for example, ive said "i think i may have autism or adhd? or both" to several doctors, and they either agree with me (i believe its been put in my file as a possibility now although i cant get an official test done due to financial and resource restrictions) or they ask why i think so, and i detail what i believe is due to my autism. its small, but this reframing helps a lot.

i think this covers all you said but my head is empty as hell.

[ilovemyschool]

Teaching through COVID???

Bless you if you actually make it to the end of this post, lol.

I teach high school science- specifically Chemistry and AP Chemistry.  I absolutely love teaching and I love my students.  I especially enjoy getting to talk to them about what they want to do when they graduate, where they want to go to college, what kind of jobs they want to do, and all of that fun stuff.  Finishing high school is an incredibly exciting time in life for a person, and I feel privileged to get to re-live the excitement and apprehension and hopefulness and all the other feelings that come along with having so many possibilities for your life laid out in front of you.  I don’t know any other kind of work that allows you to feel those feelings year after year like I get to through my students.  I also try to support them through the hard stuff.  I listen when they cry and tell me that they feel alone in a room full of people, I hug them (if they want a hug) when they tell me their mom moved out over the weekend, and I feed them and get them additional support when they tell me they are hungry and don’t have enough to eat.  I spend hours on tutoring, grading, and lesson planning outside of my “contract hours.”  It never bothered me because I knew I was doing something that mattered to my kids.  If you’ve never gotten to see a kid gain self-confidence in their own ability by practicing with you one-on-one- let me just tell you it’s magical.  When they know you’ll sit down and work with them again and again when it’s still tough for them, they can see that you believe they’re worth the time and effort, and they start to believe it too.  When you get a note from a student about how they never thought they’d be able to understand chemistry so well, but aced a state final exam or got a 4 or 5 on the AP exam, it feels like you’ve done more than teach them your subject- you’ve taught them to believe they can do hard things.  

I’m sick to my stomach right now, because I am so torn on whether to go back this year.  My students are set to come back in two weeks.  There are so many things going through my head and this has been whirling around for the past two weeks, so I’m writing it out.  To quit or not to quit.  That is my question.

To Quit:

*My district notified parents of the plan just two weeks ago at the same time as the teachers- teachers actually just got a quick email that said something to the effect of “oh hey- check out this stuff we’re sending to parents about next school year.”  

*Since they released their plan, I got in to see a doctor.  I have an autoimmune condition.  It’s not a big deal in general, just a pill everyday, but it does affect my risk- although in the grand scheme of immuno-issues, thankfully mine is on the low end of the COVID risk spectrum.

*The district’s plan is for all students to go back to school 5 days/week, unless they opt for the virtual option.  The hours will be shortened so that the district doesn’t have to do a deep clean at the 4 hour mark as would be required if we were in school for the usual 7 hours.  Instead, teachers will all teach 4 class periods and also have to teach an online class.  If you’ve never taught, teaching online is a whole separate thing, so even if you teach chem both online and in person, it’s likely that most of the time you’ll have to set up your lessons completely differently for the two.  It’s not a deal breaker, but it’s extra work for sure.

*Teachers are responsible for sanitizing the classrooms between classes, which means we’ll have to pee some other time, although every teacher is teaching all 4 classes, so we won’t have anyone available to cover us?  I guess they’ll figure that out?

*According to the FAQ document our principal sent out, if we are told to quarantine or isolate, we have to use our sick days.  If we go through our sick days or run out we can apply to the sick day bank.  They don’t say it in the FAQ, but once you’ve used up days, they dock your pay.  

*However, that might not actually be a problem, because in a virtual staff meeting they held on Friday, the assistant superintendent shared that the health department here is now defining “exposure” as 15 minutes or more within 6 feet of a person who has tested positive without a mask.  That means that we could be in the classroom with kids who later test positive for COVID for an hour and neither the teacher nor the parents of the other kids in that class would be notified or asked to isolate because we were all wearing masks and therefore were “not exposed.”

*Since all kids are going back at the same time, thats nearly 1800 kids (minus the ones who signed up to take all their classes virtually).  Based on early estimates, less than 20% are going to opt to go online.  There are no plans to stagger class changes, which means our hallways will be full- it will not be possible for students to social distance.

*Currently, I have a class with 33 students in one of my face-to-face classes.  That’s a fairly big class anyway, but in COVID, they’ll be packed in there.  It is not possible to keep that many kids 6 feet apart in my classroom.

*We are relying on parents to do temperature checks every day and keep their child home if their temp is 100.4 or above.  If you’ve ever taught, you know that while most parents are responsible with things like this, there are some that will send their child in no matter what because they have to work or (in some very sad situations) want the time to themselves.

*In our state’s official COVID school plans, they outlined “Required,” “Strongly Recommended,” and “Recommended” measures.  My district seems to be reading “Strongly Recommended” as “Not Required.”  This means that they are okay with us running labs, sharing equipment, and working in close proximity because they think that parents understand that if they’re sending their child to school, that they know their child will be in close proximity to others.  They say that parents know that their kids will be 2/bus seat anyway and that they’re going to have to be changing classes in a full hallway.  I’m not so sure I agree with that.  I think parents are probably very unaware of that because I think it would be reasonable for parents to think that the “Strongly Recommended” guidelines would be implemented.  I’m not a parent, but I think that I would assume that?  Unfortunately, things like 6 feet of separation, doing on-site temperature checks, and not sharing materials are in the “Strongly Recommended” category, which means the district will “do their best.”

*Our district’s Union President wrote a letter to the board on our behalf regarding the strongly recommended guidelines.  The superintendent was dismissive of those concerns, stating that schools in other countries saw negligible spread upon reopening, which is like comparing our shitty COVID apples to European oranges.  Shortly after his response, two other board members went on to praise the administration for putting together a “safe” plan and quickly approved it to send on to the department of education.  I wish that those board members would come and sit in our classrooms for the first few weeks of school.

*We won’t know which class(es) we’ll be teaching online until the week before (best case scenario), so we can’t prepare very much that is specific to our class until the week before school.  We won’t know our final schedule in general until next week.  To not know this with only a week and a half to go is insane.  My anxiety is in full gear.

*Financially, we could handle it if I don’t work.  

Not to Quit:

*I have one student who had me for a science class his freshman year, then requested to take my chemistry class during his sophomore year, and is signed up for AP Chem this year.  I don’t want to miss it.

*Lots of my former chem kids are signed up for my AP Chem class this year.  I’m newer to the school, but I’ve been really working on growing the AP Chem program.  We even had enough students sign up to make 2 sections of AP Chem this year, which hasn’t happened in a long time at this school.

*I don’t want to quit with only 2 weeks before school- granted, they just announced the district plans 2 weeks ago and in that time I’ve had to talk with my husband and family, consult a doctor, and look at our finances and upcoming expenses to gather the information I need to make a decision. However, with only 2 weeks left before kids are in my classroom, it would be extremely tight to hire and have someone in place for those kids.  I would hate to leave students in that spot where they might start school with a sub.

*I LOVE my classroom and my lab.  I put so much time into organizing and cleaning it out.  I decorated it really nice and made it super functional.  I would hate to have to move everything out- I doubt I’d ever have a classroom that epic again.  All my desks match, too!

*A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.  I have a job I really love at a school I like and with kids I like and it’s close to my house.  If I resign, they’ll have to hire someone else for my job, and I won’t get it back next year.  There is no guarantee that I get hired again next year at another school nearby either.  With budget cuts, who knows?

*In a new job, I could be teaching anything in the sciences- I love that I have a specifically chemistry teaching job.  Those are rare and hard to come by.

*One of the “Required” measures in the state’s plan is to wear a mask.  That’s helpful.  All students and staff will have to wear a mask unless they are medically exempt.

*I’m still youngish, especially by COVID risk standards.

*Maybe nothing bad will happen- hopefully it won’t and the year will go relatively smoothly and staff and students will stay healthy and get through unscathed.  If that ends up being how it goes, I’d regret resigning and second guess my decision.

*I would feel guilty for calling it quits when so many others don’t have the option and may be at higher risk than me due to age or underlying conditions or taking care of loved ones that are either older or immunocompromised.  I know so many teachers who have to work this year because their spouse/partner is unemployed, or they are the sole breadwinner for their family, or they are going to retire soon and need their income to stay high to maximize their social security benefits.  

*I don’t know how I’ll take it if I go from teaching full time to being a stay at home wife.  I did stay at home for a year when we moved to another state, and it was HARD on me.  I developed a bit of a depression, exasperated by some other things that were going on.  I got on medication and did some therapy and it eventually resolved, but that SUCKED.  I would really miss my students and my fellow teachers and having a clear purpose/mission for my days.  

In conclusion...

I’m not generally a hypochondriac or a “Nervous Nelly.”  Most stuff rolls off my back fairly easily.  This scares me.  I get the flu or an upper respiratory thing almost every year.  There’s no reason to think that somehow I’ll manage to miss COVID if it comes into our school.  I am beyond anxious about teaching in person with so few precautions being taken.  I’m also angry that my choices are to resign and lose the job I really want or to go in and feel anxious and angry about the lack of care and respect that teachers and students are being shown by district and building administration for the foreseeable future until COVID is over.  I have had a stress knot in my gut for the past two weeks over this stuff, and I highly doubt it’s going away if I decide to stay and teach.

Since the pandemic started I have stayed at my house with few exceptions over the summer.  I wear a mask when I go out, I usually use a pick-up option for my groceries, a drive-thru option for my pharmacy, and I just avoid gatherings.  We do occasionally see my in-laws and my parents, usually outside and observing social distancing. In my state restaurants can’t fill to more than 50% capacity and movie theaters are just plain closed, but schools are about to open at 100% capacity.  I honestly can’t imagine putting myself in an enclosed space with over 30 kids or into a hallway with close to 1800 of them.  Even more than that, I can’t imagine not sitting down at a desk next to them to help them or watch them work a problem to see what they’re thinking.  I can’t imagine not getting to hug the girl who’s mom left or sit with the boy who doesn’t feel connected with his peers so he comes up to sit with me and do his homework after school.  Even if I do teach this year, I worry that my kids won’t get what they need from me- whether that’s homework help or emotional support.

If you are so inclined, please send up a prayer for state leaders, school administrators, teachers/school staff, and students this year.  We could all definitely use some wisdom, some grace, and your good vibes.

[brinytrolls]

if you’re open to plotting something new, what are some ideas you might want to explore with someone??

i am always open to plotting!! let me see what i can find, i’ll organise it by character,,,no dancestors for now but if u wanted to plot with one of them, feel free to send another ask!! 

i dont really have any DETAILED plot ideas, these are more just starting points..sadly none of my ocs rly have future arcs planned out so these are all pretty casual...and these are not an exhaustive list! im open to any and all plot ideas so pls dont be afraid to ask!! 

for faldur,, 

he’s always open for ex matesprits or ex kismesis, as well as casual pitch flings. theres pretty much no guidelines for these ones, if it’s someone who’d be interested in him, and they’re jade or above, it’s fair game! 

an ex mate might be someone who found him too intense and broke up with him, someone who indulged his narcissism and boosted his ego til his other quads were forced to intervene, or something else entirely, as long as there was a reason they had to break up (i currently dont want him to have a red quad 4 Reasons) 

kismesis flings…hes open to anything. he hangs around bars often and will flirt with Anyone he finds attractive, so if someones open to that kinda thing its good to go. this could also lead to general friendships! he has no friends currently. boo 

on the topic of friends, book friends! a little known fact is he spends a lot of time on book forums, and someone to geek out over books with would be a nice change of pace. 

bitchy highblood friends. just like a bitchy seadweller squad would be fun, tbh. 

enemies! got a seadweller who would find him obnoxious? hell yeah! enemies is pretty open ended, i’d be willing to have faldur fucked up to teach him a lesson (within reason, he IS a seadweller and he is strong. he does fight a lot) alternatively, u got a lowblood (or highblood tbh) who needs a reason to be afraid of seadwellers? faldur attacks ppl who so much as look at him funny, so thats a valid option too

MAFIA TIES…faldur works as an assassin for when people need something really fucked up done to someone. do with that what u will

OH I JUST REMEMBERED fleet recruiters/anyone from the fleet/similar organisation who sees potential in him. faldurs constantly torn between redemption and leaving it all behind to join the fleet, so that could be interesting! 

theres definitely more but…tbh im welcome to anyone approaching me with ANY plot ideas they have! 

will do the rest under the cut bc that got LONG 

I WROTE THIS ALL OUT AND FORGOT HARREL 

BIG ONE IS just other mafia trolls!!

mafia bosses/hitmen who would hire him. who are doing jobs on the downlow, and need a cleanup guy! harrel is very good at his job so he’s highly regarded within the business 

especially mean mafia ppl. be mean to him. its part of his character hes anxious bc the mafia is mean 

no specifics, but i want harrel to just get Fucked Up. like i said, he’s highly regarded so holding him for ransom isn’t out of the question. just fuck this nerd up 

on a lighter note! he frequents record shops and jazz clubs, so maybe a musician or two with similar interests to help him get out of his shell. he needs a friend or two. 

friends from university! anyone in sciences, forensics, medical science, criminal studies…he probably studied with them! his backstory is that he disappeared from university one day when he got kidnapped by a mafia boss, and managed to wrangle his way into them keeping him alive. an old friend who noticed and is suddenly Very Confused upon seeing him again like 5 years later 

someone he went to uni with who’s now in the law industry, and the conflict that might arise from them being on two totally different ends of the spectrum…could be a fun dynamic! 

on the same wavelength: old flames from university. ex quadrants, ex hookups, ex crushes. people he was romantically involved with before suddenly disappearing 

i think thats all…

forrr sarky! 

no real quad stuff needed for him…perhaps an ex or two, but no real ideas there! 

other grubtubers to be friends with, or fans who’ve met/would want to meet him! grubtube is a HUGE part of his life and i’ve never really been able to explore it, bc he has no connections involved with it. u got a grubtuber troll who’d collab with him? a troll who enjoys letsplays? a weird youtuber superfan who’d give their right arm to meet a letsplayer? fuck yea dude all valid options 

PETTY INTERNET DRAMA. im sure theres potential

sarky IS a shifter, meaning he turns into a weird dragon monster in the dead of night on a full…moons (idk how that works on alternia,,,hello???) u got a troll who’d stop him when they catch him stumbling shirtless thru the city streets post-shift towards a local diner at 4am weirdly covered in scars and looing like he’s about to pass out?? a poor overworked diner worker wondering what the Fuck this dudes deal is when he stumbles in at 5am before cramming his face full of meat?? a troll who hangs out in the wilderness bordering the city and saw the horrific sight of this fuzzy teal bitch shifting into a giant dragon?? or just a fellow shifter perhaps?? idk theres a lot that can be done here, im sure 

apartment neighbours! disgruntled highblood a floor below him wondering why this bitch keeps scaling the building?? or someone who thinks its pretty sick, actually. 

fellow city dwellers for him to meet and befriend or annoy the shit out of…he takes the subway a lot, so they can meet there. or in some greasy food place

connected to faldur, any ex quads of faldurs that had to be intervened with and broken up, sarky was probably involved. if u want them to be bitter towards him, feel free. it makes for more interest >:3c 

florem time…………..

GET FLOREM A GIRLFRIEND 2K20…PLEASE. i just want her to have a girlfriend. its what she deserves and we all know it 

get her FRIENDS TOO....friends who will support her, and her weird hobbies. florem has a tendency to help other people and forget about her own needs, so itd be nice for her to have a friend who listens to her too... 

perhaps a troll who stumbles upon her weird troll-eating plant. a fellow enthusiast or some poor soul she has to rescue, either or 

a fellow taxidermy enthusiast....maybe a pen pal who buys stuff from whatever the troll equivalent of etsy is 

camping buddy...............she has no one to go camping with!!

im sadly low on ideas for florem but i DO want interactions with her...

veleno tiem babey

she needs a gf in every single goddamn quad.....shes 100% single 

a Bunch of highbloods who were cocky enough to gamble against her, and are incredibly mad about losing. highbloods out for vengeance 

on the same wavelength, a highblood who lost and got incredibly mad and fucked her face up, giving her all them scars....vel would avoid them for the rest of her life, but perhaps its someone who frequents the same casinos as she does so she cant avoid em 4 Extra Drama 

other down on their luck lowbloods, maybe younger ones, who need her help bc shes Experienced. she can become their Street Mom 

other down on their luck lowbloods for her to just befriend!! she frequents a shitty diner, as well as singing in a jazz club and hanging around in casinos. if youve got a lowblood who hangs around in those places they could def meet! 

i THINK thats all i got...but know i am more than open to literally Any plot suggestion ever >:3c

[zuslomanfe1971-blog]

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