#i know some people use 'ship' to mean things that aren't necessarily romantic but

[altschmerzes]

i wish there was a way to talk about enjoying/writing about a fictional relationship in a nonromantic context. i'm not comfortable using the term 'ship' because it's so heavily associated with romance and i don't want to be mistaken for talking about a romantic ship, and so im like. i want to talk about how insane i am about friendships and qprs but i don't have a good shorthand for this. Bummer.

[tubbytarchia]

Just a bunch of Doc and Jimmy thoughts as to why I find them so appealing and endearing. I wanna draw them more but regardless I have too many thoughts on them to ever visualize them all. It's a lot and very self-indulgent. This is your warning

TLDR Jimmy in a father/son type of dynamic (as opposed to a romantic relationship) would do him good and Doc would be very perceptive and gentle and awesome about it

These are pretty much all reliant on a hypothetical scenario in which Jimmy is on Hermitcraft (after Secret Life?), temporarily or permanently or accidentally etc. I'm also gonna refer to Jimmy's relationships with Tango, Scott etc as romantic just for clarity

- Firstly I don't mind them as a ship, its all cool with me (cause I know at least a few of you ship them haha), but to me their absolute main appeal is the fatherly aspect. It being a father/son dynamic eliminates so many of Jimmy's struggles off the bat - ones that are prevalent in his romantic connections, mainly the inherent anxiety and inability to open up to his partners as a result (at least fully)

- Because of said anxiety, none of Jimmy's partners up to this hypothetical unexplained point of time would fully "get" him. Even if Jimmy trusts them, he's been conditioned to see himself as the faulty link by default and the people around him, however good they are and however much they COULD help, aren't the type to pick up on or be able to understand exactly what he needs (Tango's rather oblivious, Martyn's hot-headed etc), and Jimmy isn't exactly going to tell them in the headspace that he's in, he doesn't know how to. Yet Doc has had one, ONE notable interaction with him, and in that one interaction, even as Jimmy's just jokingly calling for Etho, Doc immediately and immaculately picks up on what Jimmy needs: "I want to take you into my hands and take you to a safe place"

- There's a quote(?) exchange that goes "You're free, (referring to a bird whose gate has just been opened), why don't you fly away?" followed by the bird "the cage is all I know". Sorry to use some "I'm 14 and this is deep" quote but that's just Jimmy. He needs time and gentleness, and a safe place that'd allow for that. A safe place to heal until he's ready to step out into the world of his own accord. He's helped out of the cage with patience and understanding, not by pushing him. Where Doc understands to be patient, some of Jimmy's partners post-3L would push - of course just trying to help but failing to grasp Jimmy's needs fully - or fail to realize there's (still) a cage there at all. Sorry what are we talking about again

- Add-on to the above points: Doc being able to pick up on Jimmy's wants and needs without verbalization. He'd be able to offer Jimmy desired comfort, and, comparing to Tango for example, without their time necessarily being cut short and without the failure to recognise that it's something Jimmy continues to need. (I've said it before but Tango's oblivious, and that's partially why he and Jimmy work well together, but it also means that he doesn't pick up on everything, especially when not near and soulbound to Jimmy, and by virtue of being a romantic partner, Jimmy's too anxious to ask for help too, because of previous relationship experiences). Doc would pick up on it all though, eliminating Jimmy's need to explicitly ask for help, because that's the one thing he's not able to communicate however desperately he's needed to to kickstart any kind of healing

- We all know how Doc gets when he's being a dad so. This father/son dynamic only means more softness and gentleness from Doc you know... Again, something Jimmy is in desperate need for!! And what he's gotten from people like Tango as well, but once again, this isn't a romantic relationship so Jimmy's feelings about physical affection are a bit different. Doc would have the utmost mindfulness of approaching Jimmy in any physical touch scenario though and never push or pressure. He always watches out for signs of discomfort, and will hardly touch him if he thinks that there's a chance it could upset Jimmy further. He understands that Jimmy needs time and patience and he doesn't want for him to draw more into himself, thus reversing any progress they might've made, especially if in Jimmy's current mindset, an even remotely unwanted approach could make him feel unsafe. If there are defenses that he's learned to and needs to keep up, then Doc won't take that away from him and give him space as needed

- When Doc IS to offer physical touch and such, he'd still have the utmost gentleness and pay attention to where he's situated near Jimmy just so he can ensure that he's using his organic arm to pat him or to have the organic half of his face towards him, not only to minimize intimidation but to also put them on more equal footing - If Doc can just look over and read Jimmy's eyes at any moment, he wants Jimmy to be able to see his too to help him feel more comfortable (and thus encourage opening up)

- Back to the "safe place" thing specifically, Doc would totally take Jimmy under his wing and thus also into his base - his huge and scary full-of-machines barely-resembling-a-house-to-any-degree base. Jimmy would be naturally intimidated by Doc and his base in kind, but just as he grows more used to big scary goat man, he grows more used to big scary goat man base. He'd be intimidated but not past the point of intrigue, and combined with his need to prove himself, Jimmy would very much try to study Doc's machines and learn the layout of his base etc. I'm tickled by the idea of no one understanding Doc's base as per usual, except this one lost guy he took under his wing

If Jimmy were to mess anything up (he inevitably would I'm sure) Doc would be all grumbly about it in the moment but never hold a grudge towards him. And Jimmy would either flee but quickly return and/or be very insistent on making it up to Doc, which Doc would refuse because there's no need

- Again, with Jimmy's need to prove himself but also out of genuine interest, Jimmy would very much try redstone whilst at Doc's. He'd ask Doc to be honest and not to praise his work just to be polite, but Doc would believe in him and find his efforts genuinely endearing and worthy of praise for the work that he'd have put into it. Not once would he have complimented Jimmy's work without meaning it. I don't think he'd be able to live with himself if he stooped to disingenuousness like that (though Jimmy wouldn't know that)

- Doc would be protective and rightfully so. If he were to see Jimmy bullying becoming too prevalent, he'd very much step in to say that that's enough of that. He might tease Jimmy a little himself, very lightheartedly, but otherwise not find much comedy in it. And we all know how he holds grudges if he's to single anyone out for going over the line... Jimmy would be opposed to Doc calling anyone out or anything of the like and Doc very much wants to respect Jimmy's wishes but... There's no way he isn't going to speak his mind at least out of Jimmy's earshot

- Doc has always understood that Jimmy's in need of help, but of course he can only entail so much without hearing it from the man himself. And when Jimmy does inevitably open up, Doc would be totally taken aback by the amount of things weighing on Jimmy's heart, and just out of disbelief he'd go "and you haven't told anyone??", which may make Jimmy curl in on himself a bit, but Doc would be quick to reassure that he's not questioning Jimmy's actions nor blaming him for bottling his feelings up, merely expressing sadness that Jimmy hasn't felt like he could tell anyone up until now. Doc would remember everything he's told with precision and keep it all in mind constantly. Very self indulgent but for example, Jimmy having felt the need to dress up as a maid as payback just to stay on SOS would make Doc pay even more attention to any potential signs of discomfort in Jimmy presenting himself to others or feeling pressured to do something etc

- Before reaching the point of being able to open up, Jimmy would inevitably tear up at some point when he gets stuck thinking about just how kindly he's being treated for whatever reason that remains a mystery to him. Even if he tried to hide it, Doc would immediately notice the unusual body language, or something like his headwing moving to cover his face. And he would become very panicked lol, quickly reassuring Jimmy about whatever he thinks caused the reaction, like his redstone attempts for example, only for Jimmy to be unable to express why he's really crying, but at the very least Doc would understand that there's more to it and will just do his best to comfort him regardless

- Jimmy has and will absolutely call people his dad as a joke, but when he inevitably refers to Doc as such by accident, he'd become embarrassed about it. It'd be awesome and cute I think

- Ok so Hermitcraft, of course Tango's there!! And with no death game looming over his or Jimmy's heads. Still, that doesn't erase Jimmy's anxiety even when he opens up to Doc about it. Doc would offer suggestions for how Jimmy could approach Tango (And maybe Pearl too), but if Jimmy expresses his inability to do so because of anxiety and such, then Doc will let it go and just comfort or reassure him for the time being instead. He'd ask if he should talk to Tango all menacing and Jimmy would be vehemently opposed to the idea lol. Doc would probably still take it up with Tango at some point and Jimmy wouldn't find out until much later into him and Tango talking again, at which point he'd become embarrassed that Tango had to deal with that (but of course there would have never been any malice involved and Tango can easily laugh about it). Added drama if we go with the idea that Jimmy's time on HC is limited which would only stress him out more about talking to Tango

- Doc would pay so much attention to Jimmy's wings' welfare. He'd ask Grian and do all kinds of research on his own too to make sure they're properly cared for whilst fully understanding their personal importance and potential intimacy that caring for them entails, giving Jimmy whatever space he needs whilst still keeping an eye on his wings. In a different hypothetical scenario where Doc is in the Life series and not much else is changed, he'd take note of Jimmy's wings being clipped (3L, LL), then growing (DL, LimL), and then becoming ragged (SL, with Jimmy's increasing hostility, restlessness etc)

- You are insane for reading till this point. Take my hand, we can be insane together

[liamlawsonlesbian]

fic writer questions

thank you to the lovely @mecachrome for the tag <333

how many works do you have on AO3?

there are 19 on my profile currently! there is also one anon, and I believe nine orphaned (rip)

what's your total ao3 word count?

statistics page says 92,629! it is somewhere north of that (see above reference to orphaned fics)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

biting fic, vegas fluff, child actors au, witch charles, remote control vibrator + feelings

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yes!! I want to show appreciation for people taking the time, and honestly I'm just so excited that I always want to respond asljdf;asaf

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

definitely i can feel the sun on you! (that is perhaps a spoiler for the 71 year old movie Roman Holiday lol)

I don't even really think of it as angsty, though, they're each in a better place than when they started, they're just not together (and I don't do that much because I'm a sap)

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

maybe the sky might not always be blue, for sure....I have a habit of leaving fics in the moment of getting together, and that one tackles the happily ever after a bit more

do you write crossovers?

not really! my old little women modern au fic has some pop-in characters from other louisa may alcott works but I don't think that really counts (I did also dabble in 1D/LM/HP crossovers as like bday presents for fandom friends back in the day but those never made it out of their inboxes lol)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, I'm very lucky! I have received the occasional odd "constructive" comment, but I try to take people on good faith that they're trying to be helpful! (I have also gotten a couple of less-than-stellar numerical bookmarks ratings...I am begging people to learn to use private bookmarks if they want to do that)

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes...not sure what "what kind" means, but it ranges from decidedly vanilla to somewhat less so...vibes wise it always involves a Lot of Feelings even if those feelings aren't necessarily romantic (though they often are)

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

not yet....ro and I have thrown around a couple of ideas but we haven't managed it yet. I'd be interested in trying though!

what's your all-time favorite ship?

this is an interesting question to me,,, I feel like there are different answers to this depending on if it's like...in media in general, in fic, in rpf, in f1......I will answer with Enjolras/Grantaire, bc baby 11 year old jo who had never heard the term "slash" and barely knew the concept of fanfiction read the brick and then got pissed when she was R in a drama camp production and was blocked to have a girlfriend in Drink With Me, because "obviously he's in love with enjolras"

what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

brocedes knight/prince dragonslayers my beloved/beloathed.....I know what it needs to be but it's very different than anything I have ever actually accomplished....

what are your writing strengths?

I think I'm decent at mood and imagery! but honestly I'm not sure....maybe those things only make sense in my head lol. I do know that my fics have made people laugh, which is lovely <3

what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!! I am bad at writing anything that isn't just vignettes strung together, though I am Working On It....also sometimes I like my dialogue but other times I feel it verges on hokey....also someday I would love to be able to write something longer than 12k....or even just write something 10k again.....

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

it's tricky! I do think it's easy to fall into tropey-ness with it, especially in a fandom where it's common (eg, this one)...I definitely do it some, though! and I did enjoy putting sentences in french/spanish/italian in whole cloth in i can feel the sun on you, bc it was supposed to mimic the feeling of watching roman holiday

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

first fic I ever published was for 1D asldjfa;jf (and was.......far and away the worst case of just really obviously projecting onto some dudes I have ever done.....but I was 18 and my mom had just died so)

first fic I ever wrote, before I even knew it was called that, was definitely either anne of green gables or lord of the rings, in fourth grade

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

someday i will write the perfect his dark materials fic and actually know peace.....also in f1 terms I would love to Actually write galex!! i love them so much that it's sort of weird that I haven't written them

what's your favorite fic you've written?

it depends on the day! right now I would say either you don't have to know that it's haunted or would have loved you (in a day or two)

no-pressure tags: @oscarpiastriwdc @blorbocedes @kritischetheologie @wewentcarracing @gayferrari @foggieststars and anyone else who wants to do it! I have no idea who's done this one already

[tessarionbestgirl]

idk if you're interested in the whole hotd fanfic space but one thing that i think is a shame is the way a chunk of the fandom treats creative plots. i mean plots that aren't the same fic copy and paste 12 times, that deal with incest and all the other messed up things in hotd in a critical non romanticized way. knowing that the ideas i have won't reach people because most of the fandom has been "brainwashed" to see everything awful thing about the targs specifically as romantic and they can't question it. being bashed for breaking out of that "targ princess perfect warrior pick me wife" oc tag (an example) is exhausting and takes away a huge amount of creativity. the writers of the show have fueled that with s2 and they'reown weird view on rhaenyra and house targaryen as this devine family of heros. hearing folks talk about how using some ao3 hotd tags is bad if you aren't tb or obsessed with a certain ship is insane to me. this is was my rant

I have been in asoiaf fanfic sphere for a long time. One of my favourite accounts on this website was "asoiaf rare pairings" that shared all sort materials. Because in general for me what is good about fanfic is exactly exploring those character and dynamics we don't see as much or never would see. Or even au scenarios. One of my favourite fanfics is a one shot of Cercei and Ned working as coworkers.

But kind fanfics in general have been dying, since the raising of y/n. While nothing against self insert fanfics necessarily, I read some that have really good written. I actually would like to find one of original character, that is not the same copy and past warrior Targaryen princess. But I feel fanfics have become way to self indulging porn with no plot more than actually exploring scenarios and exploring a more complex nuance to the themes present on the show/books, and that include what you said about the Targaryen incest.

I don't know to close about the tag incident, but if you are not being a downtown hater. I think people should be free to use the tags they want.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Still kind of confused, but I think I might have a similar phenomenon. For example, I don't really care about Mario and Peach all that much, but still feel that Mario x Peach is right and proper. I don't think that's quite the same as what you're talking about, but it's all I got, haha.

I'm a bit confused about the definition of hateship, but I don't hate Jarcaiah, I like it. Not necessarily in a very romantic context, but I think they're an interesting duo and like to put them together. It helps when it's one of my nonsensical Jarod redemption AUs.

Which make no sense, because he would never, ever reform. Dude is just too evil. But that's why we like him, right?

And would you stop liking the same things as me!? XD I like Hubernie, too! Not as much as Edelbert, but I am fond of it.

Yeah, that's basically what I mean! It's kind of like, I just accept it and see it as canon in the sense of, say, if I wrote a fic, it would be probably be there. If I was writing a Mario fic about whatever, Mario and Peach would just be together because even though I'm not really into it as a ship, I consider it something that's there and definitely not something I dislike enough to just ignore it.

Hateship isn't referring to the shippers! It's about the ship itself and is two people who hate each other (and typically in the sense that it doesn't get better, where they always hate each other at least in canon) but is for whatever reason someone's ship.

A redemption AU is interesting for him! I think it's possibleeeeee... but not something he personally would consider trying to do since at least in my mind, I don't think he considers himself evil. I think he sees himself as correct. Knows he goes overboard and stuff but considers what he's doing to be the right thing, since Daein was pretty horrible in the last war, so maybe to him this is their just desserts and they're getting what they have coming.

If you remember, the people of Talrega were pretty awful people. They may have been distressed, but they absolutely despised the Crimean army and blamed all their woes on them, and not the actual author of the war who caused all of it. They said some pretty nasty things, including the lady who vowed revenge for generations to come if she couldn't do it, and even made her sister go hungry instead of accepting food from the Crimeans. In Jarod's mind it's possible he's proud of being from Begnion and being a soldier there and just thinks this is what the citizens deserve, because the citizens were also pretty awful during the war. Obviously it's not that black and white, but maybe to him it is).

Also, I feel like Alder wouldn't have been so loyal to him or "felt a kindred spirit in him" if there wasn't anything there beyond just pure evil. A redemption arc could be interesting for Jarod because I think he actually saw the Daein people as scum who deserved what they got. Not sure if he needs redemption for killing some of his own soldiers though considering... they were also doing the same shitty things LOL.

He probably wouldn't reform himself at least regarding Daein. We don't know what he thinks of Crimea as far as like, would he kill their people and such too? Since their militaries are technically allies and the Crimean people aren't seen as "bad", etc, a sort of reform could be possible for him as just like... being better to others. To Daein people though, yeah, I think he'd always despise them and consider them below him.

BUT REALLY THOUGH LOL, he's just so funny when he's being an ass. I can't hate the guy when he's throwing out hilarious one liners like that.

Idk man, if it means us liking the same things means I can convert you to Shinaff, I'm all for it. :P

[oleander-selfships]

boundaries/dni

a list of boundaries as well as a dni list. this is just to put some ground rules down here for my own comfort so i could curate my experience here. please respect the following boundaries:

do:

spam like or reblog my posts. i actually don't mind that, and it makes me feel kinda saddened or upset when people are rude to those that do that. i don't necessarily understand why people dislike spam likes/reblogs, though if anyone knows and wants to explain it, please do.

send in or spam asks. i don't mind check ins or just in general questions! just please give me time to respond to them as i'm not always in a mood to socialize.

friendly pet names are totally fine to use (ex. bro, buddy, pal,  buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal /ref)

block certain tags of mine

tag me in things such as tag games or posts you think i'd enjoy

don't:

be rude or mean as a 'joke'. i have a hard time deciphering sarcasm or tones through text, and it's just not funny to do.

automatically make assumptions of what i am or aren't okay with. if i happen to be following someone who's problematic or has had a bad past and clearly hadn't changed, please let me know via an ask so i know to avoid them.

use romantic petnames on me unless you're my partner. thank you.

follow this blog if you're anti-self-ship

dni:

do not interact if you're a minor. i'm an adult who'd rather interact with other adults.

if you're pro cringe culture. just let people have fun.

if you're proship/profiction/comship or whatever label you guys use.

if you're pro lolicon/shoutacon, you guys disgust me

anti lqbtq, fatphobic, alt right, republican, conservatives.

extreme christians. if you're more on the chill side of your faith, we could chill, but i'd rather not deal with the types who are 'god-fearing' or use their religion as an excuse to be an asshole to those who disagree with them.

if you're anti-self-ship as stated above. this ain't the place for you.

will be updated if necessary.

credits: cherry blossom pink dividers - rookthornesartistry, banners found on pinterest

[yzafre]

Sometimes its worth thinking about why you do or do not want to engage with some generally popular aspect of fandom - not necessarily to change your mind, or because you're wrong to not like it, but because it can really expose something you didn't realize was going on in your brain, like.

Like, okay, Axel/Saix or Lea/Isa is a decently popular ship in the KH fandom, but not one I've ever really wanted to engage with. It's been this way for years. I'm just not into it - at least as like, a functioning ship. I ship them Exclusively As Divorced, you get me?

And it's like. Yeah, okay, I see why people would be into this, I do, but it's just... I don't know, bouncing off my brain like it's hitting a barrier, or something. But then I started thinking like.. Why? Why am I weirdly resistant to it? So I start going down the list, trying to understand.

Is it because I'm just generally disinterested? I mean, I guess, but that's the question I'm asking.

Is it because I ignored BBS for a loooong time, so spent most of my teenage years thinking Axel was also a teenager and shipping AkuRoku? ....well, thanks for bringing up that mental dissonance again, ugh, yeah that probably contributed, but I don't think I'm shallow enough for that to be all of it.

Is it because I played 358/2 days first, where aside from Xemnas being shady, Saix is like... he's the antagonist. He's the one you largely see actively working against/disliking your faves, he's so mean to them, I was actively primed to dislike him so of course I'm not interested in a ship with a character I dislike? That sounds very solid, but for some reason doesn't seem like all of it.

Is it because I find the "divorced" relationship more compelling? This idea of, like, yes we're reconciling, but something's still fundamentally broken. You could have been the love of my life, but we fucked it up, and now thing's can never be the same again, and even if we're managing to rebuild a friendship we're going to have to live with the knowledge hanging over us. Like, yeah, I find that really, really interesting, but there's still something -

Is it because we're given very little to go on for a healthy version of their relationship, half of which gives comes from BBS which, again, I ignored for a long time. And, you know, because of the above mentioned points, I have no desire to put in the effort to extrapolate out what their relationship would be as a becoming-health-again ship, because I don't like Saix/Isa enough for that, and why would I bother when the Axel-Roxas-Xion relationship is already right there and - oh.

Ohhhh. This is the point where I realized it was never about Isa/Lea. It was always about Axel-Roxas-Xion.

That is, I really, really like the trio's dynamic, their relationship. That's the one I want to see, the one I want to be developed. I want that to be their central relationship, the one they build their lives around. And, yes, you can have both a really important friendship and a romance, but under mainstream romance rules, Isa/Lea would still be a threat to the type of relationship I want.

Because, mainstream, your romantic relationship is the central relationship in your life. Your romantic partner is the one you build your life with, that you share yourself with most. So, under this paradigm, the Isa/Lea relationship would become central or more important, where Roxas and Xion would be relegated as just little siblings, that you love dearly and see regularly, but aren't a part of you the way your romantic partner is. Isn't the partner you're building a life with. And I hated that idea. Hate hate hate hated it.

All of the above reasons for not being interested in the ship are true, but also it's because I want Axel-Roxas-Xion to be the central relationship in each other's lives, like romance is but without the romance, and based on the rules of the culture around me Isa/Lea would overwrite that.

Because really it's been about my complicated relationship with the concept of romance all along. Thanks, brain.

...still ship it only as divorced, though.

[saiki-sideblog]

Shipping saiki with anyone is aro/ace phobic it is clearly implied he doesn't feel any attraction to anyone the closest thing we got was when he became obsessed with someone not even romantic

Uuuuuh??? Ok???? I'm not sure if you're trying to call me out for something or if this is just supposed to be a general PSA that you're coming to my blog to get out there, but I'm gonna try to dissect this from every angle I can think of.

First of all, if you're trying to accuse me, I myself am incredibly aro ace and am fucking so grateful for the representation. That's so hard to find and is part of the reason I was drawn to the show.

I know I've reblogged a few posts regarding the Saiki and Satou ship in the past, but I don't actually ship it myself. If I'm reblogging content regarding the ship it really has more to do with the dynamics surrounding it that I think are fun concepts. Usually related to how his powers affect his ability to form relationships in one way or another. Honestly I'd like to see all these concepts in the light of a QPR or something could be cool and more accurate representation. It's not like ace aro people can't love at all. They just aren't attracted to people's physical appearances

I think it's incredibly important to acknowledge that he's aroace, but the thing is... most people aren't aroace and those people are going to have a tendency to instinctively pair characters off in their heads without thinking about it. Especially when one of those characters is explicitly shown to be obsessed (your own words) with another character. If someone wants to explore those dynamics that's fine with me, as long as they aren't actually actively rooting for these ships to occur in canon. Shipping something doesn't necessarily mean you want the relationship between characters to happen in the actual franchise. The whole concept of shipping is kind of complicated tbh. But as long as someone is making content about how Saiki is aro ace in canon while also creating side concepts regarding the possibility of possibly dynamics, I don't see a big problem with it

The next point I have is something I'm kind of conflicted on myself. That's the point of cupioromanticism and romance neutral aromantics. I myself love to refer to myself as "very aro" but I was calling myself that even as I was in a relationship. It's possible to be aromantic and in a romantic relationship. The conflicting part is that a lot of people use that as an excuse to ship aro characters and completely disregard their orientation. But it's a whole lot more complicated than that. I consider myself mostly romance neutral (which is the aromantic equivalent of being a sex neutral asexual, which is probably more commonly known and understood) but I still had very strict boundaries about it when I was in my relationships, and I didn't always have the energy to keep up with my partners. My most notable relationship was an open relationship so my partner could fill in the blanks, because I have a fairly low romantic threshold if we did something particularly romantically investive I would need to straight up take a break from the relationship altogether. Just a few days to recuperate and reenergize.

Basically my last point (that last paragraph) comes down to "You can totally be in a romantic relationship and be aro, but a lot of people use that knowledge to ignore a canon minority and essentially demonstrate erasure."

Not to bring in a completely separate media franchise into this, but Bojack Horseman did a really good job at explaining some of this stuff in regards to their asexual character. They dive into how asexual people can be in romantic relationships, but not all asexuals want to. Some are also aro. And while it is in passing, they mention that some asexuals do have and enjoy sex. This doesn't explore all these concepts and ways people experience these things in depth, but it does open up every angle, leaving all of the other ways people can experience these things on the table and easily able to be figured out by an audience of people new to these concepts if they just think about it for a minute. But they keep it well defined where the character stands and how his asexuality affects his relationships and how it complicates things.

All of that is to say, shipping culture is super weird, but as long as someone is very vocal and supportive of the fact Saiki is in fact aro ace, I would allow the allos a little bit of shipping content. As a treat. Just don't ignore his practically confirmed identity just to get all mushy on a character who would hate that.

But honestly, I don't see much of a need to ship Saiki with much of anyone when Shun and Aren are right there.

[oopsimfade]

I feel like people who are super hard-core about 'preserving Alastor's identity' in the ways mentioned here sometimes just... lack an understanding of what asexuality and aromanticism are? (Whether they just don't know or are intentionally misconstruing it for some reason). (Read More bc this so SO much longer than I thought it was going to be).

Most of the people I've seen going into full explanations against shipping Alastor seem like they're misunderstanding (intentionally or otherwise) being aroace as being strictly sex and romance negative. Which some aroace people definitely are! Regarding myself and my irl prerogative, I'd count myself among them. (Sex and romance negative, that is). Some people I've seen even acknowledge that some aroace people aren't sex/romance negative, but they follow that up with 'but most are', and go into explanations and characterization as to why they think Alastor is (which is a fine headcanon to have, but it is just a headcanon).

Aroace is absolutely a spectrum- it's about the lack of attraction, not necessarily about things like willingness, desire, libido, intimacy, etc in sexual and/or romantic situations. Those things can contribute more towards what microlabel people would identify as if any, or whether they're sex/romance positive, negative, or neutral, but liking sex or liking romantic gestures doesn't mean that you AREN'T aroace. How you want to engage with others, if at all, is personal.

That's where I've seen most people commenting on Alastor art seem to get tripped up. They equate lack of sexual or romantic attraction with a disgust or negative view on all types of intimacy; immediately damning any representation of Alastor that isn't sex/romance/intimacy negative and scrubbed clean. (Or like @alacetor-the-duckies-deer was saying- they're very protective over their particular view on what is appropriate representation, without accounting for that specific representation not being a universal experience for aroace peiple; far from it actually).

I do have kind of mixed views on the whole situation. While it kind of feels good having so many people fighting for Alastor's identity and aroace representation-- they have a fundamental misunderstanding on what being aroace means (base level, not getting into specific microlabels/identities because Alastor has none confirmed) and that misunderstanding is often brought AGAINST actual aroace people. Plus, some of it definitely comes off as kind of performative when it's just people blanket commenting on art/works/etc without critical thinking on whether or not that comment is necessary for that specific work (like @adhd-static said, commenting on fanworks of him when he isnt even reciprocating affection).

The Alastor shipping community (or at least the part I've been exposed to) is //overwhelmingly aroace people, writing his identity from that base perspective while still putting him in sexual situations, or 'romantic' relationships.

I personally Love reading and seeing ship content for him, because I know that he's coming from a place I can understand in the relationship. Being able to read or see fanworks written from a perspective that I CAN UNDERSTAND (as an aroace person) is SO important to me. The representation of Alastor being aroace doesn't end because people are shipping him- that just makes the representation go FARTHER! Finally seeing MY outlook and the way I view relationships has been so so so reaffirming.

And I say that as an (irl) sex/romance negative person. I love reading about Alastor navigating relationships, or navigating sexual experiences- without that spark of whatever the hell it is that makes allo people allo. ESPECIALLY when it's created by another aroace person.

I will never understand some things that allo people instinctively grasp and deem 'something that is so important that it's what makes us human'. I will never feel that initial intensity and attraction that so many of my friends describe or talk about. Or the ongoing feelings that build every time they get into sex or are with their significant other/s. Hell, I don't really even know how to describe what I'm 'missing out' on completely. And honestly, I don't think I'm missing out. But seeing a character written as processing things the same way I do is SO comforting. It's like a weight I didn't know I was feeling being thrown away.

Having Alastor as representation (along with other aro/ace/both characters who have been cropping up more recently) is amazing. Having that base level, canon representation and visibility means so much to me- and many others, I'm sure.

But that representation can go farther with fandom, and that will look different for everyone. For some people, the best representation would be for Alastor to be sex/romance negative. And that's fine! (I love reading fics that are Alastor-centric that focus in on the fact that he doesn't process relationships the same way allo people do, for example).

But for others, having him as sex/romance neutral or positive takes that representation to a whole other level. Being able to consume content that's specifically someone LIKE ME navigating a sexual situation or a relationship that would typically be deemed romantic (but isn't the same) is important to me. Seeing the QPP stories where maybe they still have sex, or their partnership presents in a way that outside of them, maybe just looks like dating.

There are a wide variety of aroace identities and experiences, and by trying to shove Alastor fan content into one nice, squeaky clean, 'no sex or romantic content ever' box is TAKING AWAY so much representation for Aroace people.

Alastor can fuck and still be asexual.

He can kiss and hug and go on cute little dates and still be aromantic.

He could do BOTH and be set up in what looks like a 'typical' romantic relationship/etc and STILL BE AROACE because of how he processes the whole thing.

Insisting on this 'one-type-allowed' representation is actively harming the aroace community. Not only because it's spreading misinformation about what being aroace actually means to the HUGE Hazbin Hotel fandom, but also because there are aroace people making this content and getting So Much Backlash for how they want to write representation for THEIR OWN IDENTITY.

this isn’t vox related but i just wanna say it really annoys me when people say shipping alastor with anyone is the same as lesbian erasure.

i am an aspec lesbian myself, lesbianism is not a spectrum, it is no attraction to men. asexuality and aromanticism are a spectrum, you can easily ship alastor with other characters while respecting his canon identity by making his approach to romance/sex fit the experiences of an ace or aroace person

it’s getting so tiring seeing people say he’s aroace under every single fan art of him, even when he’s not reciprocating affection?? but idk, what do y’all think ?? (especially if you’re aspec yourself)

[stormblessed95]

Hi Storm!

Yk, im a jikooker, but this video isn't a little too coupley? Made me question some things

https://twitter.com/_tangerineboy/status/1456614510853177353?t=MkHML7Sp8x8J3hP2BWIMvA&s=19

I think you need to readdress what you consider couple behavior then or understand what the word domestic really means when used in relation to a couple.

This was cute. Tae cannot cook. He begged Jin to cook, was told no. He then went and pestered JK who was exhausted and didn't want to do it to cook for him instead. Heaped lavish praise on JK for cooking for him even though he didn't want to. It was a very typical taekook moment honestly. High on skinship, low on conversation. Educational this time too. JK teaching Tae how to cook the dish as they were going. Then as soon as the food was finished, JK left to go continue resting in the other room. He did not stay to hang out as we have seen them do other times during this season, he did not hang around to see if Tae enjoyed his food. He didn't sit and eat with him. He finished the task he was asked to do and then left to go sit back down because he was tired and sleepy.

I don't see any awkwardness between them. I don't see any tension either. I think JK cooked for his hyung who didn't know how to cook the meal he wanted himself. So he pestered and pouted at his maknae until he finally got up to do it for him. Did you actually watch the episode or just this clip with no subs? It was cute and sweet of JK to make sure his hyung was fed. Tae and JK are both tactile people and Tae was thanking him with cuddles as JK didn't really reciprocate because he was trying to get all the stuff he needed to actually do the cooking. Not because he didn't want Tae touching him necessarily but because he was busy.

And again, they are tactile people. Vmin in the kitchen during BV, Tae again, hanging onto Jimin while they cooked

Or whatever was happening here as Jimin reached for the ingredients he needed during a run episode

Or how Yoonkook or Yoonjinkook have been consistently cooking together for essentially every episode too

Or if you want to see what looks very coupley when people are cooking together, go watch the gimbap vlive again

Or from ITS, THIS is truly what gives off domestic couple vibes to me and to most people honestly.

Or how Jin said JK is Jimins personal Chef. Or how they consistently compliment the others food, in the most recent episode of ITS, we saw JK compliment Jimins Ramen before he even got to actually taste it.

Think whatever you want, Ray. If it makes you question or doubt or change your mind, that's totally fine. I'm not here to convince you of anything, believe whatever you want. And i hope you don't think I'm being rude here. But my goodness. I would have thought that if anyone was going to get insecure of anything it would have maybe been Jihope staying up all night together drinking and giggling through abandoned houses and the forest together in the dark along with all the "I'm totally falling in love with you" comments from Hobi earlier. Can we all please let taekook interact and be friendly together without "doubting" their relationship together? They BOTH have already told you they aren't a couple. To continue to doubt their interactions after they have said to stop shipping them edges into the disrespectful side of things. Let them cook together. Let them play together. Let them giggle and cause mayhem together. Let them love and interact with Jimin together. Stop over analyzing every single thing maknae line do together. It doesn't matter what Tae and JK do, they have confirmed that they are NOT a couple, they are NOT boyfriends and NOT romantically involved in anyway. So let Tae hang off JK and tell him he is a genius as a thank you for cooking him breakfast. Let them ride ATVs together. Let them engage in skinship. Let them both interact with Jimin as a trio or any variation of duo without doubting their words or their bond as they have shown it.

This whole cooking thing was cute. I think it was cute. I also think the vibes it gave off were nothing but friendly and buddy buddy. There is no romantic chemistry between them, even during their skinship. There is nothing wrong with that, their friendship is what it is and should be enjoyed for what it is. Idk this obsession with trying to make everything romantic between those two. Just let them breathe please.

[nightswithkookmin]

A quick lesson on ships

Because why not??😌

No but seriously, bare with me, I'm trying to answer your questions. Sit if you have to. Hehe

Uban Dictionary defines shipping as this:

A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic [sic] ones as well. (Just think of “shipping” as short for “relationSHIP”.) 9 Apr 2015

Ships can be platonic or romantic or both.

There's fictional ships and non fictional ships too. You ship two people you want to be in a relationship or who already are in a relationship or who you suspect to be in a relationship- perhaps due to queer baiting, ship baiting, romance baiting etc.

In the shipping fandom, there are two sects of people. Those who are Proships those who are Antiships- antis are ironically considered part of the shipping community because for some reason they are always in shippers business💀

Antishippers are those who oppose a particular ship or shipping in general (more on that later.)

Proshippers are well- Pro ships.

Pro-Ship

A term mostly used in fandoms, but can stretch outside of this to include original characters. The core belief is that shipping two fictional characters, no matter if they are family, share ages gaps, considered to be unhealthy, or show blatant signs of being abusive or other generally unsavory behaviours, are valid in a fictional setting.

Pro-Shippers or "anti-antis" are also known as "rainbow meaties" and will use 🌈 + 🍖 emojis together often in their bio on twitter or other social media platforms- usually within fictional settings.

These shippers reinforce the idea fiction is separate from reality and shouldn't be confused with the other.

‘Anti’ is short for ‘anti-shipper’ or ‘anti-[ship]’.

Kindly read through this thread to get the gist of it.

III

IV

Shipping non-fictional individuals is a subset of Proshipping, in my opinion, known also as alternative shipping- as far as my knowledge on it goes.

As with fictional shipping, alt ships have their antis too. People who disagree with shipping real couples in a romantic way for whatever arbitrary moral reasons they have and who feel entitled to go out of their way to correct, stop, police and punish such shippers.

Then there are those who although may be pro real people shipping think they have the right to tell others how they should ship and to what extent they can ship.

Others too prefer to ship real people platonically because they view romantic shipping of real people as problematic.

So to answer your question on Anon's post- there is no such thing as a Proshipper who is also Anti shipping. Thats oxymoronic. Perhaps they might be platonic shippers who are anti romantic ships but not necessarily romantic shippers themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring to ship platonically. It is when they assume by virtue of their false sense of moderacy that they are better than others that shit starts to get funny.

Those shippers are delusionally confused beings with a supremacist imperialist complex rooted in ignorance and absurdities.

I usually walk by those quietly. keep it pushing. Gotta mind my business somehow even though most times I just want to pull their hair and bite them and shit😭

I try to keep it classy.

Lord knows I try.

You are either pro ship or anti ship. There's no in between. Those shippers who are shippers but claim they are not are nothing but fraudulent, fake us, simps trying to bamboozle their way through life- pardon my Swahili.

There are a lot of anti shippers moonlighting as shippers in this fandom. It's fascinating.

Personally I think those people are either confused or their desires to appeal to other Anti shippers must have morphed their brains into ass dick hybrids.

Anti shippers in general are notorious gatekeepers, gaslighters, bigots, high key sanctimonious and often have a cis white westernized sense of morality and ethics through which they fliter others and expect everyone and everything to conform to.

They impose their values on others, their ethics on others, resort to manipulation, policing, intimidation and bullying to impose their will etc.

Within shipping, there are those who are Proshipping yet anti certain ships. Most Tuktukkers are anti Jikook. And assume anyone who isn't a tuktukker is equally anti Tae Kook and so go ahead and exhibit anti behaviours towards them.

Think of such groups of shippers as Proshippers with a preference for particular ships if you will.

There are Pro shippers who also feel some kind of way about Shipping real life people or alt shipping.

Here's further resource to help you understand what proshipping is

If you are intolerant with other shippers choice of ships or style of shipping and you traumatize them for it that's Anti shipping. Especially if you feel entitled and justified to traumatize others because you take a higher moral status over them.

You can be proship and not like how certain people, how they go about

Simply walk away, click off, mind your business. You are not the only adult in these streets and leave people to do what interests them.

I think for as long as I can remember, I've always been a proshipper and I ship both platonically and romantically, fictionally and alternatively💀

Some themes in fiction are a hard limit for me such as the R word, pedophilia, incest, child abuse- I just can never find the entertainment in those topics and will struggle through such themes.

But others believe it's just FICTION and those fictional characters aren't really dealing with the imaginary struggles we read about.

Yall do you sis.

I don't really know why people make a big deal of it or try to demonize the concept of shipping as if it were something strange or mysterious- just keep your moral values to yourself. I am not your mother's daughter. we were not raised in the same households.

Then again I think it all depends on the different cultures and social backgrounds we all come from and how entitled, supremacist or imperialist they are.

For Yoonmin, I shipped them romantically but didn't think they were a real couple at all. I just romanticized their interactions and found humor in it. At the back of my head I was expecting them each to one day find husbands or wives and go their merry ways and even harbored the thought they each could very much be in serious romantic relationships with others.

In similar ways, I shipped Minimoni and Vmin.

You can ship a pair romantically and not think at all that they are actually REAL.

A lot of jokers ship Jikook romantically and don't assume they are real. Just as a lot of people shipped say Elena and Stefan romantically even though Paul was married.

Some shipped Elena and Damon too due to their unscreen chemistry and even felt they could be a thing- that was before later it was revealed they had started dating in real life. Even that I was holding on to my Bonnie x Damon fantasies because Bonnie was my bias and I shipped her with everyone romantically- of course I didn't expect any of those ships to manifest into something because it was the character I was shipping not Kat herself. To this day I still love her onscreen chemistry and friendship with Damon and don't see how people could wish for it to be more than that😭

It was beautiful as is. Not everything should climax into sexual intercourse.

But if I felt at some point any of her ships had crossed into alternative ships I would have jumped on those and supported it whole heartedly.

If you assume a pair are a real couple and dating in real life that's alt shipping- a lot of alt shippers suspect a ship is real and that's why they ship them.

There is no such thing as platonic alt shipping.

And for me personally, because I believe Jikook are a real couple and have made that cross over I don't ship any of that pair romantically with other members anymore.

It's bizzare to me to ship someone I know has a partner romantically with anybody else- I make exceptions for Vmin of course💀

I know JK is side eyeing me but I don't care.

I want Tae to be happy too😭😭😭

Tae just wants his bestfriend and soulmate😭

It's too much😭😭😭😭😭😭

He stays shooting his shots🤣

Jimin Harem is real🤭

I must admit, I catch myself slipping on Vmin and Minimoni every now and then- old habits die hard and they don't make it easy 😫

But that don't mean I think Vmin is dating. THAT WOULD BE WILD.

Summary

Proshippers can be Platonic or Romantic shippers and you can ship a pair romantically and not assume they are real at all.

Anti shippers are just assholes trying to beat their values down people's throats.

Alt shippers don't ship their OTP with other players romantically.

I don't know what you mean by Jinkooker...

Do you ship Jinkook romantically or think they are real?? Sis...

Maybe you just ship them platonically or casually.

I ship all the ships platonically.

Especially all Jimin"s Tae's ships. I'd let my self flirt with the idea of romance every now and then.

JK's ships don't make sense to me as ships.

As nonplatonic ships I mean.

I'm fascinated each time I see a hardcore JK x any member ship besides Jikook swearing up and down JK is screwing Namjoon🤣🤣

I hope this helps??

GOLDY

[transfemstarscream]

like.. i know that tf fandom likes to applaud themselves for being lgbt+/women friendly and stuff but.. is it just me or is half of the fandom just cesspool of anti sjw incels? i can't even search windblade on twitter without those people constantly popping up on the result defending that flame toys model and mocking "sjw puritans". i just saw someone with trans flag and rainbow flag on their username belittle windblade for being written by female creators, saying she was added into the franchise for woke diversity agenda aslskdksksdj

oh, it definitely is a cesspool of exactly that—the tumblr community is small(er) in comparison to sites like twitter, reddit, or fan forums, where people of various backgrounds are allowed to say some of the most insane shit about this franchise and not get ridiculed for it. hell, i would argue that it isn't necessarily just the "anti-sjw incels", because a lot of people in the fandom who paint themselves as progressive and/or are minorities themselves aren't exempt from giving reactionary-type and/or conservative talking points, especially in regard to characters like windblade (like your example).

since the moment female characters were introduced into the franchise, people have constantly complained about it—yes, even people who try to hide their misogyny by saying "i just prefer gay ships" as if women are nothing more than their romantic attachments to men. yes, even the other trans girls who like the franchise like me but i know who are oddly against and hateful of the female characters in the franchise, even if they've never actually done anything to hate.

you see a lot of it honestly; i could make the comparison of people who say the heat against the flame toys model is just "puritans being angry at sexuality" is similar to people who say the hate for morally despicable things like incest/abuse/etc. in ships is just "puritans being angry at sexuality" (a.k.a. both annoying). a lot of people still force a rather bioessentialist society onto transformers—and ironically, it's coming from a lot of people who are LGBT themselves, lol. (i've gotten...rather mean comments for pointing out that their identity doesn't excuse racism and transphobia)

i think this is why it's important to form your own space, because my blog is just essentially me talking to my friends and followers about transformers, not a representation of the community as a whole. if i didn't form my own little circle and wasn't careful, i'd still be seeing posts like "i don't have the women in transformers, i just think it's being forced onto us!" but in a ~progressive way~ or "here's my detailed explanation on drift's thighs unprompted" or "here's politics in transformers, except i get everything wrong".

[onewomancitadel]

What are your thoughts on the claim that Knightfall is a dangerous portrayal to men women? imo this is a buncha bullshit but a lot of people I see calling it a "crack ship" are also saying that if it ever happened it would be toxic and harmful. Some say the idea of having a man save a woman is wrong and others say having Jaune date a killer would ruin his character. How do you deal with stupidity on this level?

Lol it's bullshit. Of course it's bullshit. It's not even worth debating because it's such a waste of time and such a reductive opinion grounded in bad media analysis and bad philosophy. If you hear the word 'toxic' you need to stage exit the conversation, it's a red flag.

Sure, women consuming the wrong fiction will make them get into abusive relationships, I love the victim blaming here. Or attributing abuse in real life relationships being a result of fiction? Yeah, I am sure that is going to fly in sincere debates surrounding intimate partner violence (IPV). I can guaratee you if you read any surrounding literature about IPV or DV, the focus is not going to be on who likes Kylo Ren too much or reads the wrong type of romance.

Even then, I don't think Knightfall is a) a crackship - it most certainly isn't, thank you, it's very narratively justified, and one of Jaune's biggest moments in the show, well two of them, are with her, or b) something bad or toxic at all, in fact thematically motivating the relationship (in canon) would be healing, forgiveness, and compassion, and fundamentally uplifting the notion of nonviolence. So Knightfall isn't even anything textually 'problematic'.

If it were textually problematic I would still dismiss the notion it would have a serious impact on real-life relationships - though trying to draw some type of actual casual impact is extremely difficult, because the kinds of things influencing real life harm is actually multi-modal. If you care about that thing, sincerely and truly, which to be quite frank people obsessed with toxicity in fiction don't care. Motivating a lot of this is just cloaked ship wars, or 'me not like this and it hurts my fee-fees'. Or deep, profound resentment for the art and structure of narrative and metaphor.

The reality is that tonally R/WBY is fantastical and it is romantic. A character like Cinder Fall killing Pyrrha Nikos isn't just flatly about killing, it's also conveying lots of different ideas:

the inevitability of change and growth (ooh! Autumnal theming!), the violence of change, the complete unseating she symbolically represents in the story [for the characters to grow], the death of childhood, the complicated morality of an expanding worldview as you come to see adults as people/the world beyond black and white/understand what made Cinder do it

and if you flatly define that as 'Cinder Fall big bad meanie who need dieeeeee' then your analysis bad too. But the irony here is that people who say ships like Knightfall are toxic are people fundamentally not interested in a) metaphor and the relationship we have to stories emotionally, b) actual compassion and transformation and healing, c) actual harm in the real world, especially when they go out of their way to hurt real people over fiction. You don't know the shit I've seen in the Reylo fandom (and yes, Reylo is a feminine-driven narrative, Rey was on the Heroine's Journey (most prominently in TLJ), though Reylo and Knightfall aren't necessarily tonally 1:1). I mean it was really shocking and so bad I don't want to talk about it, and people used Reylo as a cover to harass Jewish Reylo fans - calling them N*zi apologists!, Black Reylo fans, female and trans fans, and I saw some really shocking stuff. Again and again and again. By the time we hit the pressure point of TROS I saw one of the most offensive opinions about Kylo Ren expressed and retweeted on Twitter, which I advise you to skip the rest of this paragraph if you are in a sensitive space mentally: a user suggested that actually, if Kylo Ren's evil is analogous to mental illness, sometimes mentally ill people really do need to kill themselves because they're beyond help. Tell me: how is Kylo Ren being naughty worse than that? It fucked me up and still fucks me up, not just because of that but because of other things I have experienced.

So just ignore their framework and their approach. It's not about harm and it's not about protecting people or caring about what sort of relationships ought to be depicted in media. It's using false concern to load their argument and make it impossible to debate because you might concede territory to the idea that toxicity is okay. It's literally impossible to ever hold a conversation and I can guarantee you that 99% of people I've encountered with that opinion are 100% disinterested in hearing anything to challenge the notion of 'toxicity' because it's not about that - it's about ship and story taste. And nihilistic storytelling. Because stories are stupid and metaphors are also stupid.

Some say the idea of having a man save a woman is wrong

Lol this isn't even what it would be, but they're automatically trying to say it will be because they can't conceive of Cinder as an active character in the story because a) big mean baddie and b) stupid woman, really showing their hand there about how they conceive of female characters. Jaune helping Cinder, when everybody else has completely failed her, is profoundly meaningful, and Cinder being able to act on her own terms is profoundly empowering considering her enslavement.

But anybody trying to convince you that community is weak and we shouldn't help each other and we can't be uplifted through connection either has an ulterior motive or is somebody who has bought into deeply cynical thinking, which is probably more hurtful than anything Cinder could do.

and others say having Jaune date a killer would ruin his character.

Ruin his character how? Because he's their self-insert and it disrupts their projection? Because Jaune shouldn't do something important and transformative and he's better off left to the side? Because his Semblance shouldn't have a serious impact on the story? Lol

Yeah, would be so much better if Jaune killed Cinder. I've heard that story before, it's tragic and I don't like it. The whole point of Cinder's redemption is it would redeem the tragedy of Pyrrha's death. It's narrative patterns babey

How do you deal with stupidity on this level?

For some context, I am a TFA-era Reylo. I have seen it all. People who say Knightfall is toxic etc. (which I honestly haven't even seen because I know how to curate my fandom experience - just avoid stuff you don't like if you dislike Knightfall) are like little babies. Watch this

The way I personally deal with it is actually just to recognise you're never really having the argument you think that you're having. If you're somebody who takes IPV and the depiction of women in media really seriously, and you are interested in the way we resonate with narrative and want to discuss what it means for people to identify with villains, and if you enjoy discussing things seriously and trying to hear the other side out, you are having the wrong conversation and your 'ummmm this ship is toxic!!!' interlocutor does not care.

Yes, I'll allow there's probably some actual anxiety and projection into 'problematic media' that is actually about earnest concern - that displacement isn't controversial. But I would say that this doesn't make up the majority of the crowd. They're not interested in peer-reviewed sources, they're not interested in the kinds of 'problematic' stories which have been a part of storytelling for all of human history - and they deny humanist universalism and connection through stories as well, for dealing with complicated experiences, they're not interested in seriously debating the topic. It is the fandom age-old story of ship wars, and what kind of story someone is expecting, and this is especially apparent now with the rise of corporate storytelling. An easy story with cynical self-awareness, good vs. bad, kill bad guy. Make sure to insert a joke in there just in case you are getting too emotionally sincere.

But that doesn't matter. It doesn't mean anything to those people. Don't bother. Find your bliss instead. That goes for people who don't like Knightfall: maybe stop trying to destroy things and ask for other people to do the dirty work of making 'pure' media, and try to create things yourself.

You know why those 'pure' fandoms scare off creators and pretty much have dead fandoms? Because this kind of anodyne narrative analysis is actually creatively deadening. It's boring. Once you overthink your story this way it's impossible to write for. It's much more freeing to work in service to narrative, not in service to perceived political good... which for that matter, is a total separate tin of worms, which once you open up is extremely dangerous. If a story must be 'politically good' in order to allow to be told, I can guarantee you it will be used by the powers that be, not to tell empowering stories.

None of this is to say that I don't seriously think about the way social attitudes imprint themselves on fiction. The argument here is that social attitudes imprinted on fiction are as harmful, or as concerning as harm in real life, and must be wholly avoided. I am very comfortable reading stories which contain misogyny; I can recognise it's wrong, and part of my critical analysis enables me to use my groan up girl brain to identify whether it's something being used by the story to further its themes or whether the author is a fuckwit. I like to think that many others are just the same.

But Knightfall's not even like that lol. If anything it's empowering. To me I find the story of the deeply wounded villainess who comes into her own feminine power and redeems it through someone reaching out to her with uncompromising and literally magical compassion like, um, very compelling. Narratively the only person who can forgive Cinder is Jaune. That's why it's fun. It's not about fighting what you hate, but saving what you love.

Also, if the deep wound of the story is Ozlem, Jaune and Cinder - two characters in an ensemble cast, yes - coming together and proving you could work back from Ozlem as enemies back to lovers is... everything. That's not just emotionally moving, that's actually seriously saying something.

Although to me, the idea that you can still come back from something, and fix it, and you're not too far gone, and you can change, and you can open your heart, and you could decide not to choose violence today, and you could have a home, and you could be free, and you could take on responsibility you're prepared for, is very moving. See? It's not about toxicity. In my opinion, it's a resistance to vulnerability. Bad characters who change and recognise badness in themselves are scary.

Thanks for your ask anon. I may have got a bit impassioned there... sorrey...

[jeonjk0504]

Hi! I admire your open minded responses and ethics. You have said in some posts that you believe Taehyung and Jungkook are mutually attracted to each other but that they haven't confessed or consummated. (Please correct me if I got it wrong!) I was wondering why, in your opinion, Taehyung and Jungkook wouldn't just take the leap and be together after being on a journey of so many years? Is it your opinion that homophobic society is holding them back? Is it the risks to the band? They seem like two rich, empowered men to me. Taehyung seems like a very honest and authentic person. And Jungkook tweeted a drawing he made of a famous line from Love Simon. These guys would know that being in a committed same sex relationship is an option, right? I am not saying they could necessarily be open about it but I find the idea of them wanting it but not acting on it challenging.

It is a sentiment that I see in a lot of cis het female dominated spaces that revolve around queer men, or the idea of queer men. It's love, it's attraction, it's everything but the relationship. And the sex. It strikes me as a heteronormative overlay on what queer men can and can't do, as if the relationship is allowed to be sexual and romantic only in y'all's minds. It looks like shipping but it also looks like erasure.

Personally, I do not think that Taekook are together but I could be wrong. Anything is possible. I admire the way you stand up for what is right and role model that it is never ok to be a bully. What people consider 'harmless' is relative. I don't buy any 'ships' in BTS as purely aesthetic relationships. I am a gay person and can't take away my identity while seeing this content. Hovering between the space of 'they are real' and 'I just want them to be real' is a safe space for bloggers to be. But it isn't a great representation of genuine LGBTQ+people. A 25 yr old and a 23 year old aren't nuns.

You don't have to answer this question if you prefer not to, of course. I didn't mean to try to make you defend your interests. Your points of view are as valid as mine.

Hey anon!

Thanks a lot for your interesting questions! :)

My personal feeling of them being mutually attracted to one another but not being in a relationship, stems from the dynamic they have. But i got to say, i‘m never 100% sure. I don‘t think you can tell at the tip of their noses if people are in a relationship, because it‘s mostly based on „what would i say/do/act like in a relationship?“ and that can never be copied onto people, even less if you don‘t know them personally.

What makes me say that though is a mixture of reasons. The biggest of them is simple: their friendship. My personal impression is often, that they feel drawn to each other but they also have a good eye on their responsibilities and possibilities. This is less of something i can „prove“, it‘s simply a feeling i get based on various situations and how i see them act, none in specific. I also imagine to cross the line of friendship, might be a lot harder in a conservative country while being in this wide reaching spotlight in contrast to other spaces. And all the other things you took as an example, can add to that they don‘t have to though (the popularity, the band, the family, …).

Also when i say i get the impression it‘s unspoken, i refer to them talking about that attraction or establishing a mature understanding, i have never said they haven‘t acted on it. Their body language feels like they have, actually. To me at least.

I know they both support LGBTQIA Artists and Art. But supporting it and identifying with it are two different pair of shoes.

And while Taehyung seems very, let‘s say adventurous to me, he has always had a strong affinity to a self-image based on his father. Which might mean you can indulge in something for fun (same sex intimacy) but when it get’s serious (same sex relationships) it‘s better to follow conservative ideals, like a lot of oppressed or erased homosexuals in Homophobic countries do.

This is just a connection i keep thinking about though, not a fact. It‘s only a fact that he views his dad as a role-model, visually and also in the role that he performs. His strong wish for children supports that as well. And i‘m not saying it‘s impossible for same sex couples to start a family with children (at least not where i come from) but in SK it‘s sadly not an option as of now. They‘re neither allowed to marry, nor have a legal partnership which will definitely have an impact on how you approach relationships in any case.

And i keep questioning myself: would you share such a sensitive wish like having kids, knowing fully well that it‘s not an option while being in a serious same sex relationship? Or would you share it in the belief that laws will change in the future or you will („somehow“) end up with a woman to make it happen? It may be nitpicky of me to question that, but i see it as a possible indicator of Taehyung not being in a serious same sex relationship as of now, because i feel like his desire to have children in some way, has always been noticeably strong and if he shares his wishes in such a carefree way, maybe his wish is in no danger.

Btw i know a lot of TKer i talk to disagree with me on this and they don‘t think it has to mean anything! 😌 and to be fair: we have the same amount of possible indicators that speak in favor of a relationship. I feel like i‘m talking a lot about why i think they‘re not, rather in what way they could actually be… (very ironic, looking at my blog)

Jungkook on the other hand is a little romantic to me, but he seems very careful too not like someone who just takes the leap (i‘m not saying shy, pretty sure he got over that a few years ago for the most part..).

There is a lot more, but it would take up too much space to elaborate so i hope it‘s okay i only gave a small reason for now.

Concerning your criticism on cishet spaces, they are of course valid and it‘s important to keep an eye on that and call out people who hurt the community. I don‘t feel comfortable with you associating me in that space though, because i doubt you actually know from what perspective i am sharing my opinions. I also use BTS neither for hetero nor LGBTQIA representation because i don‘t know what they identify as. It goes both ways. You might see it as hovering in a safe space, but for me that safe space is mostly there out of respect, not because i don‘t feel brave enough to take a stance.

I thank you for your respectful questions! :) it was interesting to reflect on why i view them the way i do. Please always feel free to share your opinions with me 🥰 have a nice day!!

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

hi! aro here!

aromanticism is a very diverse experience, so whatever I say will probably not be the same as the next person who answers. the only definition of aromanticism/aro spectrum is "someone who does not experience romantic attraction, experiences it little, infrequently or conditionally"

I have never felt any connection to the idea of romance. It isn't something I have ever seen *myself* in. It isn't relatable to me, but rather foreign.

To me, this also encapsulates relationships/partnerships/marraige etc. lovely and all, but I don't want that. kind of like how I also don't eat tomatoes because of the taste, but like I get that other people do like tomatoes.

I think romance is a cool fiction concept and aesthetic but not as a personal goal. I don't get bc any type of romantic crush or desire. actually, a lot of my blog here is ship content, but now I think of it I prefer it from a character development pov than a fluff pov, that's just ernst I like better I guess.

I occasionally, very rarely and briefly have a somewhat similar crush-experience that is only platonic, but like I said earlier, this doesn't necessarily mean I want any type of relationship with that person as much as admiring them/get noticed. They don't take precedent over my friends or anything either, they just have coolness energy I wanna be around. Any of these individuals don't really seem to have much in common with one another or be all that special But Brain Decided I guess. I don't believe this is an exclusively aro thing, but I think we all tend to take more notice.

I also have started to realize thanks to some of the loveless community on here that, though I don't label as loveless or anything, my concept of love is through a distinctively aro lens. I think that something as vague as "love" is generally unspecific. is it a feeling? an action? saying it feels like a lie, what do I really mean? that someone matters to me? that I enjoy their company? The word love almost cheapens the meaning of a sentence in my eyes, in a way.

I still use it all the time, because I like talking to fill the space. I love this food, this song, etc. because at that point my goal isn't to be honest, it's to say anything because speaking itself feels expressive to me. Whether someone interprets my words exactly how I mean them doesn't matter in those types of times. love is an unserious word.

ALSO, my aromanticism queer-ed my gender! the aro->agender pipeline is REAL! though I used to ID as pangender or all applicable genders, this was mostly because I feel comfortable in any gender. most gendered terms, clothing, pronouns, etc, are fine by me. but at some point I realized that that word didn't fit me any longer. I am agender, but I still feel most comfortable presenting in gendered ways. It's like wearing a fun costume almost. I'll dress as a girl because her skirt spins and she's wearing glitter, but I'm not looking at the boys. Gender is a performance, and mine will always be for an audience of one!

I have a few times come out to people who I get the sense aren't very familiar with lgbt things, and at these times I will always use the most simple terms because it'll be easier to cross the detail-bridges as we come to them. I'll say "I'm asexual which mean the way someone looks doesn't make me wanna fuck and I'm aromantic so the way someone acts doesn't make me wanna date. I have no gender but it's still okay to call me a man woman or anything meant politely." and things I say later like "just because I'm ace doesn't mean I can't tell you're wrong about his looks!" or "I don't want to answer that question, I'm aro" have in my experience (which doesn't say much bc I think relatively few people know) been taken rather well, that is to say, I don't like getting very into explanations:P

I hope this answers your question! <2

Can somebody describe their aromanticism to me, I don't think that I am aro, I'm just genuinely interested

[theprinceofflies]

Soulmate aus you say? Well these aren't necessarily my forte but I can certainly try. Marvin/Anti/Chase is currently in my head so we're gonna stick with that. So like its a known thing that when the writing appears it never neccessairly means romantic, just that these are some of the secerts that they wish they could keep even from themself. The writing is the color you will first associate with the person when you get to know them, and will change if said color changes. Chase, a boy who has been lied to and hurt everytime he tries to be in a relationship is now terrified to love when he feels the cool over the words on his arm when he talks to the magician at the park. The magician who spends too much time hoping from bed to bed, too scared to admit that they watched their family fall apart and that they don't want that to happen. A few months later, both having avoided the inevitable talk of the marks due to both having two sets they meet Anti. Somebody who is angry often, and defensive and doesn't let either in no matter what the words feel. No is terrified to admit that no is scared no will be left without so much as a note again for emotions no didn't realize were bad.

So like, not my forte but here you go. And if you're confused by the pronouns for Anti I often give him no/nor/nos as a way to assure myself that they are alright pronouns, feel free to use whatever for whoever.

I love this au!

A new ship to add to my collection!

Chase is terrifed when he meets Marvin. Then Anti comes into te picture and his fear intensifies.

Marvin tries to convince themselves that Chase is just a freind. That they can both ignore it.

Anti freaks out. No didn't want it to happen. No wanted to feel safe by norself.

They eventually talk about it and start dating. They slowly recover together. Chase will come home to see Marvin holding Anti.

Marvin will show Anti and Chase their newest magic trick and his lovers will encourage him and smile.

Anti eventually lets people in. No will curl up on something warm, usually one of nor boyfriends. No will yell at strangers for talking shit about nor lovers. Marvin and Chase will smile and kiss nor cheek.

chase walking home to find no one there and he freaks out. Turns out Anti and Marvin wanted to surprise him with dinner