#i know some people dislike fireworks

[zarvasace]

Happy Regional Second Fireworks Holiday

[cherry-leclerc]

needy ☆ cl16

genre: humor, fluff, jealous/possessive!charles, smut, established relationship

word count: 2.3k

A certain dislike bubbles deep inside of the Monegasque when you attend your first race and continue praising his teammate.

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+...penetrative sex, doggy position, m!receiving, blowjob, elevator sexxxx, choking

req!...aghhh i wish men existedddd

You’re smiling wide, face flustered with genuine happiness as you beam up at the podium from afar. The lights, fireworks, music, and environment fill you with pure adrenaline, and suddenly, you get it. Why a lot of people enjoy the sport, you mean. It was an exciting thing to witness.

But from the garage, where your boyfriend is getting weighed after a tiring race, Charles glares at you and then at Carlos who he can’t quite see but can hear the applause for as they announce his name. He can see the way you clap, the way your eyes crinkle up at his teammate. 

It should’ve been him. 

“You were amazing, baby!” you cheer as you skip towards him, arms flying over his broad shoulders. He grimaces. I’m sweaty, he protests as he lightly nudges you away. “Oh.” You take a wary step back at his odd behavior that had never taken place before. “I- um…Carlos and Rebecca invited us out for dinner to celebrate. Do you want to go?”

He could tell you wanted to and he hates how much it bothered him. The way it tugged at his heart like a painful needle. “I’m sweaty,” he simply states again. 

“You can shower first, I’m sure they won’t mind if we’re a bit late-”

“Or you can go without me.”

You frown, shoulders drooping. “But I don’t want to go without you…”

He blinks. Just as he’s able to speak again, Carlos proudly makes his way over with a shiteating grin. “Charles! Great race, man, I’ve missed driving like that.” They share a fierce hug before the Monegasque sheepishly smiles.

“Yeah, I did too.” A beat. “We’ll probably be a bit late to your dinner.”

The Spaniard waves him off. “That’s alright, as long as you make it. I want to celebrate something like this with my team. Especially since this is our last season together.”

Charles can feel a wave of annoyance towards himself for envying the 29 year old. He did enjoy the race, he was extremely happy for his friend, but it didn’t quite click why it nicked him how you wore a bright smile. He nods, a lazy arm pulling you in towards him. Your brows pinch with confusion. “We’ll be there.”

-

“I’m glad I was able to make it,” you ponder as you reapply with a fresh coat of lipstick. Charles dries his brown locks with a white towel as he stands close by. Me too. You hum, eyes trained on your reflection. “It didn’t seem like it.” 

His stomach churns at your sad tone. “I swear I am. Why would you say that?”

A tint of red colors your cheeks as you purse your lips. “For starters, you wouldn’t even let me get close to you. You pushed me away, remember?” He winces at the reminder. 

“I d-didn’t want to cover you with my gross sweat,” he tries as you shake your head.

“Like that’s ever been an issue. You’ve played soccer and kissed me. You’ve had a round of basketball and hugged me after an hour of attempting to make a hoop. Or when you played golf under the blazing sun and kept me close no matter what.” You grab your purse as you make your way towards the door. “Don’t make up some stupid excuse, Charles.”

Guilt slithers all around the green eyed boy as he watches you converse with the Scottish model. He feels like an old grump around the most colorful flower, and he’s ruining it. He was determined to make it up to you. “I’m glad you were here to witness my first podium of the season considering it’s your first time attending a race. That way you remember me as your boyfriend's best teammate,” Carlos gloats as you laugh.

“Oh, for sure.”

Jealousy pangs Charles once again as you continue. “I don’t know how you did it…it was a close one. But definitely a great race, you live up to your last name,” you salute as he winks as a thank you. Rebecca agrees besides her boyfriend. “You got me though because - no offense - I thought Charles had it in the bag.”

You’re getting back at him now. He can hear it in your voice as his eye slightly twitches. The Spaniard chuckles. I thought so too. Placing a warm hand over the Monegasque, you swiftly kiss his stubble. “But you were great nonetheless, Cha. My favorite driver without a doubt. My number one…Ooops. Four.”

“Ah, shit,” Lando hisses from down the table as he nibbles on a piece of cake. 

Charles fumes. “Aren’t you the sweetest thing, amour? Thank you, thank you very much.” 

You giggle. “No problem.”

Coughing awkwardly, Carlos diverts the conversation from the sudden tension as a new topic comes up. You simply jump in with ease as the Monegasque keeps to himself.

He could’ve gotten a podium if it weren’t for his front brake locking. He could’ve been the one celebrating right now with all his friends. He was simply better.

“I’m really going to miss this,” a deep voice rips him away from his thoughts. Carlos sighs. “It’s a struggle, but I will miss it when I’m gone. Especially you,” he says as he points to his teammate. “A sore loser, but you gotta love him.”

Charles scoffs. “I am not a sore loser.”

“He’s right,” you muse. “But trust me, it's incurable. For God's sake, he pouted when I beat his time on the stimulator.”

Pierre gapes. “She beat you? As in her?” Kika laughs, pulling him back by his linen shirt. “That’s actually pretty impressive.”

The Monegasque blushes. “It happened one time. It was probably broken that day.”

“Ahh,” Daniel says as he clicks his tongue. “I totally see it.”

“Would you stop it?” Charles deadpans as the table laughs at his defensive behavior. “I’m honestly happy for Carlos. I am.” 

The Spaniard wiggles his dark brows in a teasing manner. “You hate me a little bit though, no?”

He squints his eyes before aiming a napkin at the brown haired driver. “In the very moment, yeah. Maybe a little.” Carlos raises his hands up before smiling. As the night grows older, the more you lean into your boyfriend's touch, eyes fluttering tiredly. “Wanna leave?”

“Not yet,” you murmur against his chest. “One more round of drinks.”

He snickers. “I think you’ve had enough. Here.” He hands you a glass of water. “Drink it all.” Rolling your eyes, you oblige before it actually sobers you up enough to call it a night. 

“Congrats again, Carlos!” you chirp as your boyfriend drags you away, swinging Charles’ hand like a glass of champagne. “Here’s to more podiums!”

“More podiums, my ass,” he growls as tugs you out. “You’re such a flirt.”

“Only with you,” you hum as you sloppily kiss his lips. “You look so pretty, Cha, you know? Your eyes, your lips, your hair.” You lean in closer to his ear, whispering. “Your cock.”

“Pretty?” he retorts, trying his best to hide his hard on. You giggle. You’re also so fucking hot when you get territorial. It’s sickening, but I love it. His breath hitches.

“Oh, that was fast,” you cutely muse when his car rolls in by the valet. “Ready?”

“Y-yeah.”

As soon as you step foot inside the wide room, you jump onto him, lips clinging onto his neck, hands rushing through his hair frantically. I’m sorry for all I said. I love you, you’re my favorite driver, my number one. You’re-

“Oh,” you sigh as he kneels down in front of you, kissing your legs all the way from bottom to top, worshiping you until his head is beneath your dress, nose brushing against your panties. You shudder. He nips as you leap up in surprise. His teeth wrap around the thin material before sliding down and looking up at you like a dog. 

“Go to the bed. On all fours. Your favorite number, isn’t that right?” 

It’s a lame joke, but it still strikes you with shock as you carefully make your way over, following his clear instruction. And you think he’s going to fuck you, the way you were waiting for, but instead unzips his jeans and takes his boxers off, and stands in front of you. Open. “I thought we were-”

“Well you thought wrong, now open,” he grunts, hands grabbing your chin as he forces your mouth wide. Following along, you stick your tongue out eagerly. Like a dog. You should be ashamed, but can’t find the strength when he slips down your throat. You gag as he groans. “That's it, baby. Work your jaw f’me.”

Deepthroating him, you hum around his length as you take him all. He growls when your teeth graze his skin for a second, harshly pushing you back. “And you’re still being mean to me?” He tsks. “What did I do to you today for you to ignore me?”

Your brows arch. “I wasn’t ignoring you. You were ignoring me.” Fixing your dress, you climb off the bed, but not before he grabs your hand, dark eyes staring back at you. Where are you going? “Far away from you.” He fixes himself before marching after you. Just as the elevator is about to close, he manages to slip in. “I’m not talking to you,” you promise, arms crossed.

“Great.” The elevator comes to a halt. “Because this doesn’t require talking.”

Pushing you against the glass, he kisses you hungrily, greedy hands squeezing your ass as you squeal, attempting to push him off. This only makes him take a step back, rubbing his jaw. Seriously? You debate with yourself for a while before biting down on your lip and pulling him back towards you. 

There’s no sound other than moans and groans as he fucks your against the elevator. The angle causes his tip to hit your g-spot at a mindblowing pace as your head rolls back with pleasure. He’s the first to break the silence as he places a hand next to your head and the other secure around your waist as he pounds into you, loopy eyes admiring the way your breasts bounce. 

“I want you to know that despite my attitude, I’m happy for him, I am.” You don’t need to ask to know who he’s referring to as you hastily nod. I know, Charles. Leaning down to kiss him, you pout when he turns his head, leaving you to peck his jawline. “But you’re mine, all mine.” He sucks on your breasts that spill out in front of him as you whimper. “Repeat it back to me.”

“I’m all y-yours, you doofus,” you grin, tangled hair flying into your mouth as you squirm. “I didn’t even think I’d have to say it.” Squealing in shock, you hurry to grab the metal bar as he places you down and spins you around, leaving you mushed up against the tinted glass. “Oh shit.”

“Pretty view, no?” he quietly questions behind you, lustful eyes laser focused on the way you take him like no other. He grunts, head rolling back, messy hair following along. There’s no room to worry about the possibility that there could be a camera in the tiny space, or that help may be on the way despite the red button being pushed on purpose. And then he wraps his large hand around your throat and your breath hitches, tiny hole enveloping around him even harder. “S-so good, chérie.” He kisses you shoulder sloppily, mouth hanging a tad bit open as he tries to push back his fierce sense to come inside of you. 

I think it’s stuck, a familiar voice clarifies from outside. 

It is, you dimwit, another retorts as a group of mumbles follow with agreement. 

“Oh shit,” Charles whispers as he rapidly pulls out of you, fixing you dress and hair to the best of his ability before focusing on his equally fucked out appearance. A soft wail escapes your lips at the sensitivity that remains in between your legs as Charles apologetically pecks your temple and the door finally slides open.

“Charles?” Pierre squeaks as soon as he spots his friend. “Holy shit, are you guys okay?”

“Completely fine!”

“It was so scary,” you add, shivering with theatrical fear to emphasize your words. “Thank God they were able to help us,” you say as you signal to the hotel staff members who stand by with a skeptical smile. “I don’t know what we would have done.”

“I have a theory,” Lando whispers to Carlos as they snicker, taking in your sweaty state. The way your zipper isn’t all the way up, showing off a bit of humid skin. The way the Mongasque keeps his hands adamantly in front of his hard on. It’d be stupid not to know what had been taking place prior seconds.

“Well thank God you guys are okay,” Pierre breathes, already making his way to hug you and the 26 year old. Kika grimaces while you two cringe at the fact that the Frenchman was getting a good look and feel of the forbidden afterglow. Patting his shoulder away awkwardly, Charles hums enthusiastically.

“It’s been quite an eventful day... Charles?”

Dark brows fly up before nodding hastily. “Yeah! We should go to sleep…Take care guys! Au revoir!” 

Pierre smiles happily as he watches you two scurry away, Charles almost tripping as you grab onto his shoulder to level him up. “That’s actually really scary, I think I would cry if I were in their situation,” he admits, wide eyes blinking towards his friend group.

“Oh, honey,” Kika sighs, leaning up to pat her boyfriend's chest with empathy for his naiveness. What? Wouldn’t you? 

Lando can’t help but let out a loud laugh, clapping his hands with amusement. 

“Open up your eyes, Pierre. Those two totally fucked.”

taglist: @urfavnoirette @lpab @d3kstar @namgification @myownwritings

*feel free to let me know if you would like to be included in the general taglist!!

[ashwhowrites]

HII, LOVE YOUR WORK. Can you do Eddie Munson x popular reader that he has hopelessly in love with. One day, the reader is trying to avoid this guy who’s been asking her out so she kisses Eddie but from then Eddie thinks they are dating. Not knowing how to tell him to not hurt his feelings but he finds out and feels stupid. WITH HAPPY ENDING!!!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Jumping ahead

Eddie had been in love with Y/N ever since high school. He always thought she was cute but she entered high school as a woman, and boy she was a woman.

He felt his mouth go dry whenever she was near him. He barely kept his eyes to himself, finding her anywhere he could. His ears were always perked up to hear her voice and laugh. He worshipped the ground she walked on; she had no idea he existed.

Well, that was until Friday night. Eddie never went to parties but he heard some kids wanted weed. So he went to make fast money. He ignored everyone, letting people come to him.

He heard loud voices come out of the house, and the argument quickly grabbed his attention. He turned to the noise, standing up once he saw Y/N marching outside with a pissed-off look.

Even pissed off she looked beautiful. He watched in case he needed to step in, disliking the way the boy followed her and gripped her arm.

She tried to shove him off but he wouldn't let go. Eddie packed up his stuff and put it underneath the table. Then puffed out his chest and made his way over.

"Let her go," he growled, he was very intimated by the tall and muscular jock but he'd do anything for the girl in front of him.

She looked at him with soft eyes, pleading for help. He gave her a quick glance and glared at the boy.

"This doesn't concern you," the boy argued, his grip still on Y/N.

"It does," Eddie replied, his voice deep as he stepped forward. Eddie wasn't muscular by any means, and he knew he'd definitely get his ass kicked. But the way Y/N was looking at him, so scared and helpless, the bruises would be worth it.

"How so?" The boy asked, letting go of Y/N as he shoved Eddie hard. Eddie stumbled back, almost losing his balance. But he grounded himself to the floor, his hand clenched in a fist as he prepared to throw the first hit.

"Because of this," Y/N said

Within seconds Eddie felt sticky glossy lips pressed against his. His eyes were wide as he looked at her. Her eyes were closed, her hands were in his hair and her tongue slipped in his mouth.

Eddie unclenched his fist and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her body. He shoved her against him, shivering at the way she moaned against his tongue.

Was he dreaming? He feared he'd wake up in his bedroom with wet boxers. It felt like they were the only two in the world. He imagined fireworks shooting in the sky.

Y/N was shocked by how much she was enjoying the kiss. His lips and control were so firm, locking her in place. And she liked the way his arms were around her, refusing to let her body move away.

She pulled away, desperate for air. Her eyes locked on Eddie as she felt the afterwaves of the kiss. She never knew much about Eddie, just his name and face. And well now how he tastes.

Y/N turned around to see the boy gone, a relieved smile on her face as she turned to Eddie.

"See you Monday," she said with a flirty smile. She walked away and gave him a wave, a flirty one as her fingers wiggled.

Eddie smiled at the ground, he shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to make his jeans comfortable again.

~~~

Monday rolled around and Eddie had never been so excited to go to school in his life. He walked on cloud nine, a swag in his step as he felt confidence oozing off of him.

Y/N kissed him. She picked him and she made out with him. Then made it clear they were going to see each other again. She never paid attention to him in school, but now she would.

Y/N was putting her lunch in her locker when Eddie appeared next to her. She gave him a polite smile.

"Hey, Y/N," he said with a bright smile. She couldn't help but smile brighter herself as she looked at him.

"Hi, Eddie," she closed her locker and turned her body to face him.

She was stunned when he leaned in and pressed another breath-taking kiss on her lips. She melted and kissed him back, her arms lopping around his neck.

He pulled away, a shy smile on his face. She blinked a thousand times as he simply walked away.

~

Eddie already raced to tell all his friends about the kiss with Y/N. And how they were definitely seeing each other. She kissed him twice, she had to be interested. And boy was he interested in her.

Y/N felt bad for overhearing Eddie's conversation with his friends, but she felt even worse that he believed they were dating after their kiss.

She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but how the hell was she supposed to clear the air?

He was very cute, and he knew how to kiss. She was very interested in getting to know him and open to letting that lead them to dating. But she didn't know anything about him and now he's telling people he's her boyfriend.

She walked away fast, trying to think of how to bring this up to him.

~~

Two weeks passed and she never quite figured out how to say it. He talked to her all the time, held her hand in the halls, and was never shy to place his lips on hers. She really liked all of it.

They did go out on some dates, and she enjoyed his company. Over the two weeks, she had a fat crush on him and wanted to be his girlfriend. So, she figured what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. She'll gladly be his girlfriend.

But she was so lost in her little relationship that she forgot her friends were snakes. They were quick to gossip and that boy who never gave up on her was making his way back in.

~

"Yo, Eddie. I heard you and Y/N are actually together. Is that true?" Luke asked the name Eddie finally figured out after that party.

"Yes," Eddie said, quick to walk past him but Luke grabbed his arm.

"Now hold on, Munson. Because I heard after she kissed you, you thought you guys were together and she didn't know how to tell you that it was just a kiss."

Eddie felt the color draining from his face. He shook Luke off his arm and made an escape. He racked his brain and felt embarrassment rushing through his body. He was an idiot. He moved way too fast and didn't check to see where she was with all of it.

He also felt terrified. What if she didn't even like him? Just didn't know how to say no so she only went along with it.

He sat in his van, patiently waiting for her to jump in. He heard the door open and she slid in, planting her lips on his cheek and then closing the door.

"Ready?" She asked, he nodded and started the van. She seemed excited and happy to see him, but was all of that an act?

He waited until they sat down at the small restaurant before he questioned her.

"Luke told me something today and I want you to tell me the truth," Eddie said, swallowing nervously.

Y/N sat up straighter, a twist in her stomach. "Of course," she replied with a small hopeful smile.

"Did you mean anything from that kiss? Or was it just a kiss and I got way too ahead of myself?" He asked, she frowned at his sad eyes. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

"You want the truth so I'll give you that. It was supposed to be just a kiss. Something to throw Luke off of me. I'm sorry for using you like that. It was wrong and very wrong to not consider your feelings." She watched as Eddie's shoulders fell. "But" he perked up slightly, looking at her through his lashes with his head down. "I've loved every second we've spent together."

She reached over to softly hold his hand. "I really like you and I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I understand if this changes things, but I'm being honest that I want this with you, for real."

Eddie felt himself smiling at her words before he understood what she said. His stomach fluttered with her hand in his.

"I'm sorry for jumping far ahead without even communicating. I think I got so excited that I didn't even think." Eddie laughed, she giggled with him and rubbed her thumb against the top of his soft skin. "I want this too."

"Really?" She asked, a huge smile broke across her face, and felt excitement in her stomach.

"Have you seen you? Never letting you go." Eddie joked but yet meant every word.

"Can you ask me officially?" She raised her eyebrow with a small smirk on her face.

"Y/N, will you be my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend?" Eddie asked, he already knew the answer but still felt himself getting nervous.

"Absolutely," she said, leaning over the table as she placed a soft and gentle kiss against his lips.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[mcflymemes]

TO CATCH A THIEF PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 1955 film, adjust as necessary

not only did i enjoy that kiss last night, i was awed by its efficiency.

left in a hurry, huh?

i'm in love with you.

now that's a ridiculous thing to say.

you're leaving fingerprints on my arm.

[name], why bother?

my only comment would be highly censorable.

some nights a person doesn't need to drink.

the book you're reading is upside down!

they came for me an hour ago.

i called the police from your room and told them who you are and everything you've been doing tonight.

why don't you own a place like this?

the pastries are light as air.

even in this light, i can tell where your eyes are looking.

i haven't stolen a piece of jewelry in fifteen years.

what do you think of my kitchen?

now, let's get down to business.

now i am going to have you investigated.

coincidence can be terrible.

how many did you kill?

you are a man of obvious good taste in everything.

my nerves could stand a drink.

say something nice to her, [name].

you make the choice.

you're here in europe to buy a husband.

the man i want doesn't have a price.

so this is where you live?

thank you. you've been most unkind.

if i'm ever hungry, i'll eat someplace else.

what can i do for you, [name]?

you need clothes and money?

take my boat and go to the islands.

i'm thinking of going home to america.

i wouldn't put it past you.

it has to be somebody who knew every detail of my technique.

you don't believe me any more than the rest.

i don't like running, hiding, and leaving a trail of doubt in everyone's mind.

i shall defend you when i can.

the police are chasing the wrong man.

they're all looking for you.

i only made one mistake.

i was talking about the fireworks!

doesn't it make you nervous to be in the same room with thousands of dollars worth of diamonds, and unable to touch them?

you're mad.

if they catch you, nobody will believe what you say.

you have a rare skill for inspiring confidence.

i only do one favor a day.

look, if you don't want to do this...

you're getting us wet!

a man should never regret his past.

what's on your mind?

i was just thinking about you.

i work for a living.

you can't touch me.

i don't know what you wanted. i know what you got.

in that case, we should hurry.

may i ask you a personal question?

if you're caught, would you be angry with me if i pretended that i was going to give you up to the cops?

act as if you're a pretty girl out for a ride.

don't buy any new clothes with the money yet.

nobody will ever recognizes me in these.

we're both taking a big chance.

what happens to you if i'm caught?

you made a bad choice of profession.

suppose it falls into the wrong hands.

why don't we enjoy our lunch first?

i don't want to seem impatient.

for what it's worth, i only stole from people who wouldn't go hungry.

i'm sorry for ever starting in crime.

i look back with horror on every job i pulled.

something bothering you?

i'm having dinner with them tomorrow.

i will continue to complain.

want me to buy that for you?

i have an intense dislike for it.

[majinbangus]

Majin~ idk if my original ask sent so I'm gonna send it again just in case, Tumblr must find my asks delicious bc they get eaten like 85% of the time 🥲

Hello! Idk it you're taking requests now, or if you've already done this prompt/theme before, but I was wondering what it'd be like to be one of the many people Johnny flirts with on base, and you brush it off bc he's such a flirt. And yes, while Johnny will flirt with just about anyone bc thats his default setting, he's low-key going out of his mind bc he wants you to see that with you, it's different! It's genuine and sincere! What will it take for you to realize that the only person he's got a huge crush on is you?

Idk just wanted to see this from your perspective! No worries if you don't feel like writing anything for this, still love ya!! 😘

hey anon, sorry for the wait, getting my groove back slowly, but here it is. i might do another version of this some other time tho bc i had another vision for it but ended up with this

You don't know why he's been so affectionate with you lately. His playful flirting has gotten excessive, too. It's weird. He's being weird.

It's not like you dislike the attention, but you know he doesn't mean anything by it. That's just how he is. You know you're firmly designated as ‘friend’ in his eyes. A painful fact you've known ever since he made that comment to his ex about never seeing you in a different light because you ‘weren't his type.’ 

Yeah, that stung a bit, and you were a little offended, but that was more ego talking and less romantic feelings at the time. 

Unfortunately, things have changed. Feelings have changed. Yours, specifically.

You don't quite remember when exactly it happened, but you know it was sometime during the last few months of his last relationship. That was an agonizing time, and over a year since the end of that relationship plus several flings later, you're still pathetically pining over a man who will never see you as anything more than a friend because quote ‘he could never be attracted to someone who wasn’t his type’ unquote.

Now, you have to put on a smile and pretend it doesn't make your heart malfunction whenever he flashes that dimpled smile at you, or when he rests an arm over your shoulder while he walks next to you calling you all sorts of pet names he's never called you before. Not to mention all the times he feeds you a piece of his lunch, and when he grabs your wrist and makes you feed him. That barely scratches the surface of his newfound behavior around you.

Soap has never shown you more flirtation than the usual shallow amount he gives to anyone he's not dating. To be bathed in it out of nowhere is a shock to your system. An enigma you can't comprehend, nor are you eager to question it lest you lose his sudden affection. And despite the delusional part of you wishing he meant something by it, deep down you know it's simply false hope making you imagine the romantic adoration reflecting in those pretty ocean blues of his.

“–so what do you say?”

“I'm sorry, what?” You blink a few times, trying to force yourself to focus on Soap and not how bright his eyes are, or how warm his body feels pressed up against yours with his arm slung around your shoulder. He's so close, it's making your heart do fireworks.

“I asked if you wanna meet up next time we're on leave? We rarely hang out outside of work and drinks at the pub.”

“I can't.” It's not that you don't want to, but you don't really see the logic behind it, either. “One, we don’t live remotely close to each other, and two, I have family coming to visit.”

Soap laughs at your excuses, tightening his arm and pulling you impossibly closer. “That just means I can meet them, love! I've been meaning to sight see where you’re from anyway!”

It's your turn to bark out an incredulous laugh. “Sight see what? Soap, the city I live in is shit.”

“Och, can't be that bad if the locals are half as lovely as you, darlin’.”

“That was terrible!” You giggle, nearly doubling over at his cheesy flirtation, but despite yourself, you can't stop the fluttering in your heart, hoping he doesn't realize how much you actually like his attention and stupid charming words, or how you can barely share the same space with him without feeling like your chest is going to burst, or the obvious hearts in your eyes every time you look at him. “Please tell me you use better lines than that!”

Soap pays no mind to your laughter with that lopsided smile on his lips. He stares at you with those stupid, pretty blue eyes, strong arm still around you almost as if he's staking some kind of claim on you, like a leash or collar. You wish that was the case. You'd give anything to be marked as his.

“They seemed to work for me so far.” 

“Oh, really?”

“Aye.”

“Psh, then save the cheese for someone you want.”

“What if I want you?”

“What?” He sounds so earnest you have to stop a moment, shrugging off his arm, and turning to face him. Soap doesn’t flinch, staring back at you with such intensity you laugh uncomfortably to ease the growing tension in your chest. “Ha, ha. Very funny, Soap. You almost got me.”

“I’m being serious. I want you.”

“Since when?”

It’s a genuine question. You’re not playing dumb intentionally–well, maybe a little–but after so long of pining after him, this is something you need him to spell out for you. Even then, a part of you is ready to laugh off whatever he says next. 

Because what you have with Soap doesn’t go any deeper than a close friendship. It never has and never will be anything more than that. Even when you want it to be more, you know he’d never love someone like you. 

“Soap?” You tilt your head at him when he doesn’t answer. His smile has dropped and he’s looking at you with that cute frown of his you’ve always loved. The one when he’s deep in thought, doing all sorts of calculations or analysis on whatever has him stumped. 

“I don’t know how I can be any clearer, hen.” He talks slowly. Low and soft as if in disbelief. “Thought I’ve been obvious with my flirtin.”

“We ‘flirt’ all the time!” You laugh, trying to deflect the growing hope you feel. “We’re friends, Soap. Stop messing with me! Besides, I know I’m not your type.”

Surprisingly, he sounds offended when he asks, “Where’d you get that idea?” 

“What, that I’m not your type? You said it.”

“When?”

“When you were with what’s-her-face? The crazy possessive instagram model.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’, that always stuck with me, so thanks for that.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

You give a derisive laugh. “Then why’d you say it?”

“She was insecure.” Soap furrows his brows in regret, running a hand through his mohawk. “I thought I liked her at the time, so I said it to make her feel better. She didn't like you.”

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” You mutter bitterly. “I respected boundaries, and she always thought I was trying to ‘steal you from her.’”

Soap mumbles under his breath, “Don’t think I would have complained if you did.”

“What was that?”

“Nothin’, bon.” He sighs, the tension falling out of his shoulders before he squares them again, staring at you in a way that makes your breath catch. “Listen. I know it might be hard to believe, but I’m not takin’ the piss. If you give me the chance, let me prove how serious I am about you.”

“Soap…”

“Darlin’...”

Fuck. A flash of those blue eyes and you can feel yourself hope. Would it really hurt to give in? Just this once? Maybe, maybe not.

Sighing, you inwardly scold yourself knowing you’re jumping headfirst into the unknown, but…

 “Fine. One chance.”

Soap’s never broken that trust before, and from the grin on his face, it tells you he’ll always be there to catch you.

“One chance is all I need.”

[sideprince]

Do you have any thoughts on how Snape would have acted if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin? While I can’t help but feel that there would be a part of him who would want to joyously gloat about James Potter’s son ending up in Slytherin, I can’t help but wonder if he wouldn’t still hold a mountain of resentment that would be incorrectly targeted towards Harry? Do you have any thoughts on this? Thanks!

I think one of the key aspects of Snape and Harry's relationship is that they don't really know each other and don't get a chance to. If you look at how the rest of the staff treat Snape, there seems to be respect for him and while I'm not sure how many of his colleagues actively like him, they certainly don't dislike him. We see this in how the rest of the staff treat teachers they don't like, such as Lockhart and Umbridge:

...Dumbledore announcing that, unfortunately, Professor Lockhart would be unable to return next year, owing to the fact that he needed to go away and get his memory back. Quite a few of the teachers joined in the cheering that greeted this news.

-Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 18

The upshot of it all was that Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as headmistress running all over the school answering the summonses of the other teachers, none of whom seemed able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. When the final bell rang and the students were heading back to Gryffindor Tower with their bags, Harry saw, with immense satisfaction, a disheveled and soot- blackened Umbridge tottering sweaty-faced from Professor Flitwick’s classroom.  “Thank you so much, Professor!” said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. “I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn’t sure whether I had the authority...”  Beaming, he closed his classroom door in her snarling face.

Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 28

This leads me to think that since the staff have had some opportunity to get to know Snape, even if it's superficially (given how guarded he is), their treatment of him indicates that he's not as terrible and repugnant as characters like Harry make him out to be. And while it's possible that they were deferential to him because he can be intimidating, I don't really see a bunch of talented, established Hogwarts professors cowering. After all, Umbridge had more authority than Dumbledore and even fired a staff member, but the rest of the teachers didn't seem to be affected by whether or not they were intimidated by her. They also literally took on Voldemort and his army to protect the school.

The reason Snape is able to project so much of James onto Harry is because they don't know each other outside of the classroom. This is the same reason why Harry is able to resent Snape so much. We see a chink in both their armors during Occlumency lessons in OoTP, as Harry shows curiosity and Snape encourages it, but before they can start to get a fuller picture of one another as people, Harry wrecks it by invading Snape's privacy when he goes into the pensieve. It's integral to the plot - and the big reveal at the end of DH - that these two characters maintain a resentful distance.

If Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, they would have had more of a chance to get to know each other. The same way Harry was told by other Gryffindors as soon as he started school that Snape was strict, mean, and played favorites, if he'd been sorted in Slytherin he would have been influenced by their bias in the other direction, ie. in favor of Snape (and potentially against McGonagall given the rivalry with Gryffindor). Whatever resentment Snape had against James would have had an opportunity to soften over time as he inevitably got to know Harry better.

By his fifth year Harry would have been sitting down with Snape, not McGonagall, to discuss his career ambitions, and as his head of house Snape would have known Harry enough to advise him. We see throughout the books that heads of house like McGonagall pay attention to students even if they don't interact with them all that much directly. Had Snape had the opportunity to do so with Harry, and had he been motivated by his role as his head of house to defend him where necessary, he would have gotten to know Harry as an individual enough that whatever of James that rested in Harry's facial features would have fallen by the wayside.

That's only one part of how Snape relates to Harry, though. He's vocal about James, his friends, and his hatred of them, but he never mentions Lily once. We know Snape is a guarded man who frowns on wearing your heart on your sleeve:

‘I told you to empty yourself of emotion!’ ‘Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,’ Harry snarled. ‘Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!’ said Snape savagely. ‘Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily - weak people, in other words - they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!’ ‘I am not weak,’ said Harry in a low voice, fury now pumping through him so that he thought he might attack Snape in a moment. ‘Then prove it! Master yourself!’ spat Snape.

-Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 24

So it's no surprise that he doesn't mention Lily. He protected Harry at risk to his own life for the sake of honoring Lily's sacrifice. Clearly their friendship meant the world to him and left an impact, and because it's so tied up in emotion for him, Snape never talks about it. He isn't the kind of man to show emotion willingly, as we know. He smirks, he speaks softly when angry, he hisses, and he only loses the tight grip he has on expressing his feelings when he's triggered. There's a fair bit of information on the page about his relationship with James and how he feels about it, and how much of it he projects onto Harry (though I think that diminishes significantly from OotP on, especially after Sirius' death), but nothing at all about Lily except in his very private moments with Dumbledore.

What's even less straightforward is how much of Lily he sees in Harry. I wonder whether this was intentional on the author's part, but I'm curious whether Snape might get angry when Harry sasses him and talks back because his personality is so much like his mother's. So while there isn't much to go on, I think it's interesting to consider whether if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, Snape might not have seen more of Lily in him given the opportunity to get to know each other a bit, and whether he might not have appreciated that about him.

[redriotinggg]

I need anyone who genuinely dislikes Usopp to take a long look in the mirror because yeah, he can be a bit annoying at times but he is honestly a good and interesting character!!

He is just as loyal as any other member of the crew and fights the strongest when he’s fighting on someone else’s behalf. (See: him fighting for Sanji in Skypeia, fighting for Robin at Eneis Lobby, fighting for Luffy in Dressrosa, fighting for Tama and Nami in Wano.) He is a major player in so many of the battles in the series that it baffles me that people can think of him as an unimportant member of the crew.

And Usopp is a fucking genius??? Hello???? He’s able to make weapons powerful enough to create storms and tornadoes. He is canonically a jack-of-all trades that supports the crew in their daily lives and in battle. The Going Merry only lasted as long as she did because Usopp was around to care for her. He was the only one to see her Klabauterman!! Usopp is not only creative and fun but is able to bring those creations to life, whether it be his drawings or his gadgets, and I think that’s so beautiful. I miss pre-TS because of all his inventions we got to see.

Let’s not forget that Usopp is so, so kind!! He made friends with the kids in his village and told stories to Kaya to help her feel better when she was ill. He fought to protect her and Syrup Village from Kuro. Personally, I will never get over filler ep on Fireworks Island (ep. 134) where he cheered up Kodoma and encouraged her to continue her pyrotechnics, assuring that her parents were proud of her. Knowing he also lost his parents at a young age makes the scene hit that much harder. (And again, he showed his genius by figuring out a way to launch the firework that killed Kodoma’s parents!!) It may not be canon to the manga but but I think that episode is super accurate to his character.

What I think makes him the most interesting is that we see his flaws and mistakes more than any of the other Straw Hats. We see his insecurities in Water 7 and his fear in Dressrosa. But we also see him growing and learning and being encouraged by his crewmates. Aside from Robin, I think Usopp has changed and grown the most out of the Straw Hats. With his goal to become a brave warrior of the sea he has so much potential for even more growth!!

Like I said earlier, some people think Usopp is annoying which he can be sometimes, but that’s also because he’s literally comic relief. And he does so well at it bc he’s actually so damn funny?? He makes me laugh out loud all the time. One Piece wouldn’t be even half as funny without Usopp.

I also appreciate that as an individual he has so many moments with the other Straw Hats. There are a lot of relationships that don’t get explored as much as we’d like, but I think we get to see Usopp’s friendships with the crew pretty often. He fights for Luffy, plays around with Chopper, teases Zoro, is teased by Robin, gossips with Nami, hangs around Sanji, and his whole relationship with Franky has so many layers to it.

Aaahh, I have so many hopes for Usopp in the series that I pray will be fulfilled!! I want him to have a badass arc in Elbaf full of character growth. I want to see him develop and continue to use his Haki (which he gained when trying to save Luffy are you KIDDING me). I want his reunion with Yasopp to be emotional and bittersweet. If he could personally beat Yasopp in a fight I would ascend to the heavens.

Usopp is such an important, complex, and interesting character and I absolutely hate to see him reduced to being a gag character or the weakest member of the Straw Hats. He may not be a monster but he is amazing and I love him.

TLDR; if you disrespect Usopp I wish you a very Die.

[egginthepit]

Got into playing Alaris recently and so here I am introducing my MC Maena:

Don’t really know where to begin with her, just starting to really form her personality. She’s definitely extroverted but like in a pretty chill way. She’s not afraid to go and talk to people, she also can actively seek out someone’s attention, but she’s also pretty comfortable with her own company.

She loves all kinds of plants like her mom but she’s got special interest in mushrooms. The fungi just appeal to her for some reason. She likes a good challenge every now and again but she does tend to involve herself in people’s business when she really shouldn’t or doesn’t have to. It’s her sense of justice that gets her into situations sometimes, she can’t stand bullies and will make it known to anyone within her vicinity

Likes: the color blue, rocks, mushrooms, and forget-me-nots

Dislikes: incredibly loud noises (think fireworks or a rock concert), hot summer days, extravagant flirting

Her current opinions of the different LI:

Kayn: These two got off on the wrong foot after the first encounter. Now Maena isn’t usually averse to people being in her personal space but with Kayn’s flirting added on top of it she got really wary immediately. Things did smooth over later on but it took a hot minute. Now she sees them as the perfect person to tease. They tease back of course but that’s just a given. Why dish it if you can’t take it right?

Druk: She sees Druk as rather reliable/dependable. He’s probably the first person she’d go to if she needed physical protection. Sort of sees him as an older brother figure.

Fenir: Do not get her started. She finds him incredibly fascinating. She isn’t quite sure what draws her to him (it was definitely the hair and eyes at first. She LOVES the color blue) but she does know his presence is comforting to her. Would probably love sitting down with him and asking him questions about the books he’s read. She likes to read but loves it more when people talk about how they felt or interpreted a piece of literature.

Etza: Sees them as a sort of mentor. However, tries her best not to depend on them too much since she feels that, like how she feels being a healer sometimes, having people constantly depend on you can become draining and stressful. So she just likes to drop by their office and ask about their day before skipping off to some other daily task or event.

Kuna’a: It is on sight for this guy. He is the main cause of her most recent woes of getting her personal space invaded. Once again, she doesn’t mind people being in her space, what she DOES mind is when absolute strangers with dubious intent manhandle her. She’s going to have to duke it out with him first before she forms any sort of relationship with him. And by that I mean at least one swing at his face.

Aisa: They are a mystery to her in a way that fascinates her. Despite her initial response of “I will fight you for putting me to sleep when I was owed answers, you jackass” she sort of felt as if they were… lonely. Now she just wants to befriend them and see what’s going on there. Everyone needs a friend, even if they insist on having nothing to do with you. Maena will be your friend one way or another, Aisa, just get used to it.

[professorhayforbreath]

my blog probably gives the impression that i think the show is bad as a whole, but the reason this show frustrates me so much is because it's definitely NOT 100% bad

like... the movies are bad adaptations. everyone knows it. they have some great moments (an embarrassing amount of which are better than the show lol) but overall they are widely considered blatantly bad adaptations. it's easier to make peace with that

the show, however, is far less consistent and i find it much more difficult to wrap my head around. there are parts that are bad and i'm happy to say that with my chest, but underneath numerous questionable-at-best writing choices, there are glimpses of really, really good stuff. the first few episodes had so much promise—percy burning blue jellybeans and praying to sally, the consensus song. these are brand new additions but they're good, they capture the spirit of the story and characters successfully

and sprinkled throughout the rest of the show are other strong choices! for example in the last episode i really liked that they set the betrayal scene during the fireworks, it created a fantastic ambience. i liked that grover left camp at the same time as percy and annabeth so the three of them got to part ways as a trio on half-blood hill

there are good changes being made, but they're almost all small in the grand scheme of things. in my opinion, the bigger, more consequential things are where they missed the most marks, and that prevented me from fully enjoying the show as a long time book fan

when it comes to writing nothing frustrates me more than wasted potential. mediocre writing is one thing, but mediocre writing that could have clearly been so much better is INFURIATING. i don't dislike the show because i wanted it to be a 1:1 recreation of the book, i dislike it because it's just okay when it could have been great. it so EASILY could have been great and i don't get why it's not. a lot of the writing choices are just baffling in their mediocrity, and sometimes technical weakness, when compared to the well written and effective source material. i wish i could have been a fly on the wall in that writers room when they were making some of these decisions, seriously

the cast is phenomenal. their budget is more than sufficient. they marketed it as a "redemption from the movies", as the adaptation that would finally give fans book accuracy. and the show we got is... fine. it's all right. it's not all that book accurate even though it was advertised as such. there's plenty to like but it comes hand in hand with plenty to dislike. it's only natural for people to be disappointed

i know my critiques can come off as venomous but please never mistake my harshness as hating for the sake of it. i adore the original pjo books so i really wanted to adore the show as well, but unfortunately i can't get there yet. "yet" being the key word because there's still plenty of time for this show to pick up the slack, and for that reason i'm glad it got renewed. i don't have the most faith the writers will listen to the feedback but i'm rooting for them to prove me wrong

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

The Mercs take Y/N to a nearby carnival in the badlands

WARNING: Chaos ensues. Why the fuck would you take them anywhere?

Scout:

- He’s fine with this. He used to love going to carnivals. It was all him and his family could afford on weekends.

- You’re somewhat bothered by the heat but he’s resilient as fuck. “You want me to grab you some water, babe?” He doesn’t even wait for an answer. Returns in fucking milliseconds with water. You don’t know how he’s so damn fast.

- Sits on the fariswheel with you, he had planned this to be super romantic but he feels awkward. He tries to lighten the mood by standing up in the car and whacking his ball into the poor crowd of people. “Watch this. This is for you, babe.” The sandman ball hits a guy in the face and probably kills him. You’re pretty convinced he’s not alive anymore. “Home run!” He calls out. “Woooo!”

———————————————————-

Solider:

- EXCITED. EXCITED. EXCITED. If he were a dog he’d be wagging his tail. For all the wrong reasons. You know full well you’re in for a ride. It’s not a thrill ride.

- He takes the shooting games way too seriously. Gets mad when he doesn’t get the plush toy prize and pulls out his actual stock rocket launcher to rely on pure splash damage. (Where the fuck did he even hide that?) They’re forced to hand him his prize in fear for their lives.

- If you lose a game, he beats the shit out of the person running the stall. He insists it’s their fault and the game was rigged. Your shot is flawless.

- You leave him alone for TWO SECONDS and he’s already harassing a random bird on the fence he believes to be a Russian drone. Children are staring at him. You can’t take this man anywhere.

——————————————————————-

Demoman:

- He’s not used to this. He went to the Highland games as a kid. Never really had a carnival around his village. He experiences a bit of awe and intrigue as you walk the streets with him. He’s still in his vest and the people of Tuefort are heckling him. They know he’s one of those annoying mercenaries. He thinks this is fucking hilarious.

- He hates the food though. Eugh. He discovers pretty quickly he has a dislike for fried chicken. Insults America’s tastes to hell and back. Almost fucking vomits when he tastes the mac and cheese. What the fucking hell is wrong with you people?

- “Err.. Dontae think those rides are a bit dangerous?” He asks, jutting his thumb behind him. He doesn’t notice the kiddy rollercoaster breaking into pieces behind him followed by screaming families. He’s probably too used to that sound to process it coherently.

- Suspiciously eyes the men setting up the fireworks for tonight. He glares at them while sipping the cheap alcohol he begrudgingly bought at one of the food stalls. Nitpicks them for setting them up wrong. He sets them up himself but the fireworks nearly kill everyone. Turns out he made them more efficient. By that I mean deathly. “No, sweetheart. they’re FIREWORKS. FIREWORKS.” you tell his drunken stupid ass.

—————————————————————

Engineer:

- Oh fuck he’s excited. He had good memories going to carnivals as a kid. Eats like a fucking beast and doesn’t hold back. You watch this man consume more than his own body weight.

- Goes straight to the mechanical bull. Asks you to hold his cowboy hat he wore on the way here. “Sit back and let a big man like me show you how it’s done, darlin.” He doesn’t even fall off once. It looks like he’s barely even moving. He stands up on the fucking bull and flips off the last guy who ate shit on it. Embarrassing him in front of his kids.

- As you’d suspect he’s sort of insulting the lack of regular maintenance on the rides. Whilst in line for the Zipper he shakes his head like a disappointed father and scraps the rusted paint off the ride with his glove. Crushing it to dust between his fingers. Shakes his head some more and sighs.

- Congratulations. The state of these rides have broken this poor man. He can’t take it anymore. Take him to the petting zoo with the farm animals right now before he suffers a brain hemorrhage.

———————————————————————

Heavy:

- “What did little baby say about carnival?”

- He’s heard of carnivals in plenty of books but his life of isolation has prevented him from ever experiencing such a thing. The concept is almost alien.

- Well, he goes with you and he hates it. He looks like an incredibly discontent kitten the entire time. As you ride with him in all the kiddy rides, he looks even more pissed as he just so happens to break one of the rides upon sitting in it. The consequences of being a giant mass of muscle are truly unfortunate on this day.

- His face brightens up a little bit as you buy him a footlong sandwich. He’s never seen a sandwich this big before. He eats the entire thing within’ minutes.

- Finally you find a place in the carnival he somewhat enjoys but pretends not to. He hits the high striker so hard the bell fucking breaks and goes flying. He complains that this game is too easy — until he’s handed a cute little toy bunny of course. “I have been gifted rabbit?”

- Everybody is now batshit afraid of him.

———————————————————————-

Pyro:

- YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Bouncing in the car the entire way there. Miss Pauling had to drive you two there because Pyro doesn’t own a vehicle. She sighs in exasperation and asks pyro to“please quiet down, sweetie. Pauling is thinking.”

- You have a massive dog jumping off the walls of the car right now. They can’t sit still. Pauling is miserable. In other words, water is wet.

- Once she drops you off she makes you both swear to not catch anything on fire. It’s bad for business and doesn’t give them a good look. Pyro has no intentions of listening to her and heads straight for the fire eating performance. In their point of view; these people are somehow consuming rainbows.

- They do all sorts of things with you. Allowing you to lead the way to any attraction you felt drawn to. Whether it be trying to get dolls or getting on a ride. They seemingly want to do as much as possible before the sun goes down.

- after you tell them it’s late, they groan in despair but nod obediently. Prioritizing your guys’ shitty adulthood of work was sadly something that had to be done. They held your hand on the way back. Carrying a shit load of plush dolls in the other massive glove.

- “Did you two have fun?” Miss Pauling asks, you swear she puts on a motherly voice just for pyro. He excitedly claps his hands and agrees with her. She blinks though and sees the chaos behind you. You trace her gaze with confusion, wondering what she was gawking at. For some reason the entire carnival was on fire and you didn’t even notice on your way out that it spread to pretty much every corner.

- You both look back at Pyro. They’re holding a match. Of fucking course. Miss Pauling rubs her face. “I’ll call the firemen..” She sighs in defeat.

————————————————————-

Sniper:

- “Carnivals are stupid.” He says, a lit cigarette between his teeth. “Jus’ mediocre entertainment. Not even good. Believe it or not I have standards for my own personal pleasure as well. I’m not going to some stupid thick headed colonel sanders’ freakshow to eat hot grease n’ Emu legs.” You have to correct him that it’s technically turkey legs. “Whatevea mate.”

- You somehow manage to convince him anyway. But he was doing this only for you. He growls as you drag him by the hand onto the carnival grounds. Wishing he was back in bed. He glares at everybody who even dares breathe in his direction.

- He likes the farm animals well enough but quickly diverts his attention away in slight intrigue upon seeing the shooting gallery. You are thrilled and BEG him to win a prize for you. “There’s no way in hell i’m doing that, love.” You want to see this guy in action and the look of shock upon everybody’s faces as Sniper beats multiple children.

- Well.. Okay. But only because you keep inflating his ego with your compliments. He goes up, gives the person in charge his money, and brings the scope to his eye. Multiple kids are in the gallery next to him and missing every single shot on the fake cardboard animals. He mutters an insult to their ineptitude. He doesn’t even have to look to know they didn’t land a shot.

- Sniper takes down literally all the targets within’ seconds. Including the ones that the poor children were shooting at. Every. single. cardboard animal.

- The person running the stall begrudgingly gives him the biggest teddy bear they have. The Teddy bear that multiple families present were wanting to get in the first place. Kids are complaining and parents are complaining. Life’s suddenly great. Sniper looks amused at the amount of attention and cracks a smile at you. He wonders how you knew this would make him happy.

—————————————————————————

Medic:

- “Ack! what complete nonsense! I am far too busy of a man for such boyish games!” He acts dramatic about it. Crossing his arms and turning up his nose.

- “Yeah but— what if somebody dies on the broken ass rides? That’s like free organs right there.” You say.

- “Hoo. Well, you do have a point. Alright! I’m convinced. But only this once.”

- Medic is actually rather terrible at the gun related games. He can’t aim precisely. At one point you found a crossbow related game and he held his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. Realizing he had managed to hit everywhere but the desired target. You joke that hey— at least a life isn’t on the line this time. He passive aggressively slaps you over the head lightly with his glove and moves to the next game.

- You go to the bathroom and come back to see him dragging a bloodied dead body into his car. “Ah, I’d explain but it’s a rather long story!” he says enthusiastically. Accidentally holding up his equally bloodied ubersaw, and then immediately hiding it behind his back.

- He won’t go on the rides. He’s bold and brash but he isn’t an idiot. He knows full well those things aren’t structurally sound. He stands up tall in his usual thinking pose. A finger to his chin as he takes in the sight of the rides. “What are you thinking?” You ask him. He grins at you. That disgusting, devilish, i’m-making-an-evil-plan grin. You are now scared.

- He steals an entire fucking carnival ride for less than moral medical purposes. The ENTIRE FUCKING THING is in the back of his car and the car is chugging along. Wheezing and trying to get this thing back to the base. He’s going to break it apart and sow the parts onto a Frankenstein-like creature.

_________________________________________

Spy:

- Mother of god, can’t you guys go on a more relaxing date? One with less screaming, noisy music, and people? What about a nice five star restaurant? Or the park?

- He refuses to eat any of the food. At all. He’d rather starve in a ditch than eat such filth. Not even bothering with the alcohol. He avoids people like the plague and you’ll turn to ask him a question and WHOOOOSH! he won’t even be there until you reach your hand out and blink his invis watch by poking him. “Stop cloaking, pussy.”

- He literally begs you to choose another place. PLEASE. End his suffering. You swear you’ll find something here he enjoys though.

- You were standing in line for a ride and once you got to the front he had stepped out of line and said “Oh! after you.” In typical gentlemen fashion. Letting you go on the entire ride by yourself. You glare at him from the ride and he’s smirking mischievously. Waving his fingers to greet you.

- For the rest of the night he takes it upon himself to mess with you. You offer him some cotton candy and he hands it to a little boy in a stroller instead while nobody was looking. You saw that in the corner of your eye. “Im not fucking blind, Spy.” You say. He puts his hands behind his back innocently. “Oh, what? I consumed the wretched morsel like you asked!” “No, you didn’t Spy.”

[the-owl-house-takes]

I absolutely hate the argument that Luz can be excused for her actions and people have no right to dislike her just because she’s neurodivergent. I struggled immensely in school both academically and socially in large to my own “neurodivergence”-can I just say I hate that word-but I was never so stupid as to think about bringing live animals and fireworks inside my school. The fact that Luz, the 14-year-old daughter of a veterinarian, saw a bunch of living, breathing animals and thought-‘yeah, I’m gonna use those as props! My book report is gonna be so cool! I surely can’t just use rubber snakes!’ Which probably why they were so damn aggressive! Because snakes only really bite and attack when they’re threatened, or stressed, or pissed off! Which really does not paint Luz as being a very caring or thoughtful person!

“But that’s the point! She needs to get better and she does!”-No she absolutely fucking does not. Instead of realizing that she can’t just run away and live in fantasy-land, the show again and again reaffirms that Luz can do no wrong, everybody else never should’ve felt angry about her reckless idiocy-because that’s what it is, idiocy-she gets to live out her little fantasy world and do whatever she wants. The way the show acts like the principal giving the summer camp pamphlet was some horrible evil thing, how could anyone do that? B I T CH LUZ IS FUCKING LUCKY that she weren’t expelled or arrested! She brought EXPLOSIVES WITH THE INTENT OF SETTING THEM OFF INSIDE A SCHOOL BUILDING. In an area of mass shoring fears and schools prohibiting anything can looks like or emulates(even if it is just a foam sword or something), Luz really should’ve just taken two seconds to think to at least leave the fireworks. Course at 14 I would think that a person who have the common sense for that to never be a thought.

And no, “neurodivergence” is not an excuse. It pains me when characters in media doing stupid shit and senseless(especially when it gets on the audience’s nerves) gets pinned on having autism or ADHD like it makes it okay, and that the character can’t be blamed or held accountable for it. Why do people hold those with these conditions to such low standards? When this happens, it feels like people are saying, “Yeah, this could’ve easily caused grievous bodily harm or death but they’ve got anxiety and autism, so we can’t be mad, they couldn’t possibly know better because they’re simply not on our level, they’re too stupid to understand!” Hell no. Stop giving excuses! The “I’m literally neurodivergent and a minor” attitude does not work in court!

And maybe if they understood this and actually challenged Luz on being very episodic on learning her lessons and that she did in fact run away to avoid consequences of her actions and reality won’t bend to her interests and she can’t treat everything like it’s a fanfiction instead of beating the dead horse with another dead horse about how Luz ““““helped”””” Belos when all she did was teach him one glyph and got used as bait by someone who she KNOWS tricked her. By that logic Lilith is just as responsible for Belos meeting the Collector as Luz is. Yeah she’s 14 but did it really have to stretch through the entirety of season 3?

Because season 3 is where I officially knew that Luz hadn’t learned a thing. The way the show frames the art teacher giving Luz the side eye like it’s wrong for her to distrust the kid who used the art supplies-that she probably paid out of pocket for-to infest the school with spiders and snakes and then would’ve blown it up if she hadn’t gotten sent to the principal’s office is so out of pocket. She has every right to view Luz with suspicion! People don’t tend to like others who make a mess in their areas with their stuff, shocker. I’ve already said a bit about the summer camp thing, but seriously, a summer camp that teaches teens about mortgages, how to manage a bank account and checkbook, do taxes, etc is literally the best thing Luz could’ve gotten out of that situation. She would’ve learned something many people complain wasn’t taught to them at a young age AND would’ve met people who she could easily befriended. Yeah, it’s boring and Luz probably would’ve checked out of the situation but it’s better than juvie! Also boring stuff is apart of life, it’s part of the way we can live the way we do because everything is easier said than done. Also with Camila, it’s a dumb retcon to have her not understand anime or Luz’s interests in Season 1 and 2 but a secret nerd who just got put down by the man in season 3. Like, Camila had to make a change with Luz, because 14 is not far from 18, and if Luz did do something stupid that ended up being a crime, she could very well be charged as an adult.

Then the whole ‘I just wanna be understood!’ Luz, honey, you’ve been surrounded by people who understand you and don’t get mad when you mess up, even if it’s spectacularly. Your girlfriend literally immediately told you she essentially wanted to spend the rest of her life by your side right after you got revealed as a liar which you promised you wouldn’t do anymore. Your best buds have always been on your side even when you’ve gone behind their backs. Your mom was sending you to that camp bc she had too, even though she originally believed it would expose you to kids with similar interests that could be befriended. And again, her hands were tied, because you were being reckless to the point of danger. But oh wait, it’s all okay now because you’re ‘understood’.

Not finding that happy balance where you can express yourself but not act like an idiot or endanger yourself and others, just some vague ‘understanding’ by an anonymous ‘them’. Do you mean everyone, all the time has to understand you the way Camila, Eda, King, Willow, Gus, Amity and Hunter do? Because that’s not how real life works.

And this isn’t a character hate-though I do hate the way Luz was finished-this is on the writers for not going through with the themes of Fantasy Vs. Reality they had going that could’ve taught Luz that balance and management; which in my personal opinion, would’ve been a better arc for a person with ADHD.

-

[swannieluv]

TBM - Brainrots

Thinking about some The Bold Mendacity brainrots I had (and might include in the future chapters)

Clorinde who teaches [Name] swordsmanship once they're a bit older. Teaching them self-defense, but not how to kill, just so that they'll know how to defend themselves when she's not around anymore. Clorinde's almost an adult, there'll be a day she'll have to leave them behind... And that day is coming.

Freminet who brings [Name] trinkets every week when visiting them. Small gears he found nice or something to make "Furina" slightly prettier.

[Name] who took a long time to get used to their new reflex on the mirror. Once a fifteen-year-old, now a child completely different from their old looks.

Neuvillette who after meeting [Name], can't help but feel the way they dislike him. The way those childlike eyes stare at him with disdain hidden in them and the way they act serious around him only helps his growing suspicion.

Past life![Name] who could get a glimpse of the fireworks from their old room's window, not being able to go outside and enjoy the festivities aside from their duties.

Clorinde who didn't want a sibling during her childhood, but ended up having [Name] stick to her like a duckling.

Clorinde who didn't know how to carry a child around, and carried [Name] as if they were a potato sack.

[Name] who avoids the Hydro Archon's statues, not wanting to see them. They can't remember her face at all, and prefer to leave it like that.

Freminet whose mother taught how to write a letter so that he could exchange them with [Name].

Past life![Name] whose world shattered the moment the news of the real Child of Prophecy's birth spread.

Past life![Name] who already had doubts about their legitimacy as the Child of Prophecy for not having a Hydro vision or any type of hydro energy within them.

[Name] who doesn't have the heart to stay mad at the people who executed them for much time. They were the fraud, they were the one to be blamed.

Neuvillette whose eyes never met the criminal's as he gave them the sentence.

Past life![Name] whose last words were a promise to take revenge on the Hydro Archon and [Name] who forgot those words as they currently live a better life. But will it forever be like that? Or will there be a day when revenge is necessary?

A/N: Yeah, long time since TBM last chapter... But I'm already writing and planning the new ones <3

[trendywaifus]

could i get a sequel to the fic of ningguang comforting anxious reader with yoimiya, kokomi and lynette if ur comfortable with writing her? :3c i'm happy to see that you're back and writing!! <3

woah lumi, you’re my first customer?? omg?? i haven’t seen you in a fat minute! it’s nice to see YOU back!! i missed you’re writing 😻

— despite yoimiya being a bubbly girl, she’s attentive to those around her! especially you cus you’re her baby. she absolutely hates seeing you uncomfortable and anxious so she tries various ways to calm you down. unfortunately, some of her idea/plans backfires which at times, made your anxiety worsen but she learns. she’s really loud? okay, she’ll lower her voice down for you. she’s moving too fast? alr, she’s matching your pace, no biggie! you don’t like to be touched while you’re anxious? that’s fine, she’ll stay by your side and encourage you with her colorful words!

— if you dislike loud noises like fireworks, yoimiya’s completely fine with that. she’ll only work on them when you’re not around. when she’s with you, yoimiya plays with sparklers! yoimiya’s contagious laughter and smiles makes you brim with happiness. if you’re comfortable enough, you’d join in on the fun.

— yoimiya likes to take you to her fav spot where she watch the fireworks at to chill! if you want, she’ll love to hear you vent or ramble about anything you want. it’s great to have a buddy who’s a great listener. while yoimiya listens, her eyes are never off you, she’s locked in with whatever you gotta say.

when you finished speaking, yoimiya smiles brightly. she points at your hands, “ babe, give me your hand.“ confused by her request, you placed your hand out in front of her. she takes it within her own, and guides it to her chest. even though you felt her resting heartbeat against your palm, the placement of your hand was practically an inch above her bandage–covered breast. you stammer, “ yoimiya, wh-what’s the meaning of this? m-my hand—“

“ i know, ignore that! but the point i’m trying to get at here is even though my heartbeat is relaxed right now, I still have sooo many things going through my mind! and despite all of that, the reason why my heart is relaxed now is because. . “ her crinkling golden brown eyes twinkles with unadulterated sincerity. “ of you! having a precious someone or friend by your side can often shoo the bad anxiety away. it might not always be the best remedy but it’s better than dealing with it alone! remember that if you need someone to go to, i as your girlfriend, volunteer as tribute! “

— as someone who leads a whole army and is looked up to by an island of people, kokomi understands your anxiety. for her to really cope with anxiety, she likes to take naps, read books, or plan extra battle strategies. since she has you now, she prefers to rest her head on your lap and relax.

— kokomi keeps a very keen eye on you. if she sees any signs of you becoming anxious, she’s at your side rubbing on your back. if she can’t come to your aid, she sends gorou! he’s not very good at comforting people so the little guy insists on you touching his ears and tail for therapeutic comfort. he’s only doing this for you, don’t tell anybody about it.

— naps are a musssst! when she’s stressed AND you’re stressed, she’s gonna take you to her office to nap. it’s y’all free time anyways, gotta recharge your battery. in my previous cuddle hc involving kokomi, she uses her hydro powers to make little fishies to lull you. why not sea horses or a fav sea animal of your choice instead this time??

“ you should be a magician. “ you mumbled, reaching your hand out to touch one of the hydro sea animals. one of them floats above your palm and twirls around happily as if was doing a little dance. kokomi giggles, running her fingers through your hair. “ mm, i already got my hands quite full. besides, magicians require a certain level of skill, charisma, and stage presence that i unfortunately don’t have. “

“ seriously? you do have the charisma. you have a way with words and your voice is soft to the ears. you’re able to create almost anything with hydro manipulation and that’s an advanced skill a lot of vision bearers don’t have. stage presence? pfft, your presence alone on the field changes the tide of the battle. you’re amazing. i’m so lucky to have you. “

cheeks red, she shakes her head with a tender smile. “ i very much appreciate your sentiments. however, i’m the one who’s lucky to have you, my dear. i find solace in your company, the fact that you also struggle with anxiety daily makes me feel like i’m not alone in this. as we go through our daily obstacles, at least at the end, me and you can share our experiences and give each other tips on how to cope with anxiety.“

— lynette is such a cutie pie. much like kokomi, she knows the horrors of having anxiety! she has ways of coping like pretending to be a robot/puppet to avoid people from socializing with her (maybe i should do that). when it comes to you, she would rather help you find healthier ways to deal with it.

— one of the things she likes to do is to show you magic tricks! the good ol’ fashion card tricks, the disappearing and reappearing of objects! anything to make you smile and laugh. her cute little tadaa~ alone brightens up your mood. (:

— i believe that lynette loves to eat, esp deserts. i see her taking you to a cozy small café and she’s treating you to her fav treats she likes to eat. she knows that she might get an earful from her brother for eating too much before dinner, but since she’s chilling with you, eh.

“ these treats are delicious but. .isn’t that your fourth desert? “ you asked, voice filled with amusement. lynette sets the fork down on the empty plate. “ it is. i guess i let myself get carried away there. “ she shrugs, her resting deadpan expression sitting on her face. you found it comical that she’s a glutton and an introvert. what a cute mix! you giggled before bursting into laughter. although you sound wonderful and the butterflies fluttering in her stomach agrees as well, lynette tilts her head in confusion.

“ what’s so funny? “

“ nothing, you’re just too cute lynette. thank you for making my day like always. i feel better.“ you grinned, taking another bite of your desert. you failed to notice the small blush tainting her pale cheeks.

“ tadaa. .” she mumbles bashfully in success of making you smile and laugh today.

[slavicafire]

new years is the one holiday I especially dislike celebrating with people, partying. I'm glad I found someone who feels the same way, too - before the pandemic we decided to actually politely refuse all invitations, and then year over year we would get fewer and fewer, and this year finally none.

the tension of the countdown alone was always unpleasant, less like hope and more like doom. the pressure to have fun and go wild weighed me down, just this one night of the year. the fireworks illuminating the night and drunken faces around me made my heart race and it took me years to realise it wasn't a pleasurable feeling.

I never understood why my mother hated new years - that is, when I was a child - and I think I understand it now, and a part of my own dislike is born from hers, seeping through over the years. I had new year celebrations that went too far, ones I would take back if I could. I had ones that were just sad. I had some incredible ones, and yet I look back at them with certain bitterness.

but now, at our own pace. at our own place. the cat sleeps through the fireworks, only slightly uneasy, and I drink beer that reminds me of summer and being 17.

I find solace in the passage of time and of this boundary we create to give ourselves meaning.

I thank myself for being brave.

and tomorrow, you know, the sun will be shining for a moment longer again.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

character layouts for this au !!

(lmk how I did, just kinda winged this)

Simon’s Daughter

Name: Brianna “Bri” Riley

Age: 16

Birthday: November 20

Physical Description: Blond hair (slightly brown in some streaks), blue eyes, diamond-shaped face, light brows, thin lips (downturned), nose has a slight ridge to it. Has some muscle packed onto her body, but generally skinny, with smaller breasts and butt, stands at 5’6, blond lashes.

Personality: Has serious rbf (resting btch face), and quiet like her dad, but has dry humor. Generally a bit more able to lead and take control of things, and make the hard decisions/calls. Not the type to talk about emotions. Anger issues. Burns bridges before trying to cross them.

Talents: Handling weapons. Simon would definitely not let his daughter go have some teenage fun without making sure she could handle a knife and gun, and he sent her to self-defense classes too. Also good with time management, as well.

Likes: Watching terrible romcoms with friends, she would die before admitting it, but she loves it, often hiding her tiny smile behind her hand. Also loves providing for people, her love language is def acts of service.

Dislikes: When people walk slowly or talk too slowly. It genuinely infuriates her. If you need to get somewhere or do something, hurry up with it??

Relationship with Family: Not in contact with mother (she might be dead, haven’t decided yet), close but strained bond with dad, close with uncle Kyle, Johnny, Price, and their kids.

Johnny’s Daughter

Name: Isla “Is” MacTavish

Birthday: August 17

Age: 16

Physical Description: Thick brown hair, darker blue eyes than Brianna’s, dark brows, little ridge to nose, medium-sized lips, medium breasts, and butt. Plumper body (think pear-shaped), with thick thighs. Has muscle, and lifts with her dad at the gym. Stands at 5’2, her right canine is slightly crooked, giving her a very devious grin. Face shape is diamond with a wider jaw.

Personality: Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious, just like her dad. She can make light of almost any situation, making jokes in her Scottish accent that defuses any tense situation. However, she also gets angry very easily, leading to both Brianna and Charlitte to hold her back from starting fights.

Talents: Learned a thing or two about defusing bombs from her daddy. She’s also freakishly good at math (got that from her dad, too), and can take things apart and put them back together very well, too.

Likes: Lighting things on fire. Throwing fireworks down the sideways-sewer-tunnel things in ditches and watching them explode. Just destroying things.

Dislikes: When people make fun of her accent. It inflamed her temper worse than anything, because who do they think they are to make fun of her family and ancestor’s accent??

Relationship with Family: Very close with mother and father (both around in the same house, married), and close with uncles Kyle, Simon, John, and their kids.

Kyle’s Daughter

Name: Charlotte “Charlie” Garrick

Age: 16

Birthday: June 27

Physical Description: After some research, I think she’d have 4c hair, usually wearing it in braids tied up in a ponytail, and sometimes adding a lick of color into the ends. She doesn’t like beads on the ends, though. Bronzed skin, dark brown eyes, dark long lashes, dark brows, stands at 5’5 and ½ (yes she counts the half inch), softer diamond-shaped face. Medium breasts and butt, body is a bit plump like Charlotte, but she doesn’t have as much muscle, has more of a mushroomed nose, and plump lips.

Personality: She knows how to get all the gossip and drama out of someone, loosening their lips with the right words and faux sympathies, only to run back to the girls and spill everything. She has a strong moral compass (sometimes ignoring it), almost the opposite of Brianna, and she takes pride in her appearance being clean and put-together. When hanging out with friends, though, she is very sassy. Like Gaz really imprinted on her with the sass.

Talents: Good at getting information out of people/manipulating them (interrogation skills observed from her dad). She’s also mostly the one to calm everyone down, shutting arguments or fights down with some cleverly aimed words. (Basically, she’s the glue of the group)

Likes: Journaling. In school, she’s the type to have everything highlighted, underlined, and the prettiest handwriting by far. Writing her thoughts down helps ease any anxieties she has inside. (She also has the best perfumes)

Dislikes: Bratty children. She was raised to be respectful towards her parents, so seeing some screaming kid in the grocery…it makes her want to pop their little head off.

Relationship with Family: Close with mom and dad (separated, but on good terms, share half custody while both live in London near each other), close with uncles Simon, Johnny, Price, and their kids.

Price’s Son

Name: John “Junior” Price

Age: 17

Birthday: October 25

Physical Description: Rounder face, still has a decent jawline, the nose goes almost straight, the tip of it just barely pointing up. Medium-thickness chestnut brown hair, grey-ish eyes, medium size lips, brown brows. Cannot grow facial hair for the life of him (much to his father’s teasing), and stands at 5’7 and ½ (counts the half inch just to get on Brianna’s nerves). Has some muscles and meat on his bones, and a little belly pooch (his southern momma has been shoving him full of food). Has the fattest ass known to mankind.

Personality: He’s been raised to be a leader like his dad, but he’s honestly better at fixing than leading. Growing up with his younger sister, he learned to play gently, and how to fix any problems. The best with his emotions, and will patiently listen to anyone’s problems, understanding that sometimes you might just want someone to listen, and not fix. But he is very good at planning things out and fixing them if that’s what you want. He’s patient, and a bit soft-spoken, but can be rowdy, and if someone above him tells him to get his hands dirty…he will. Has a good moral compass, but ignores it most of the time.

Talents: Good at handling emotions, basically a free therapist. Very good at making plans, thinking rationally without any sort of tunnel vision on one thing, and fixing problems. Likes to think of himself as level-headed.

Likes: Secretly loves having tea parties with his little sister. Won’t ever admit it to the boys, but Uncle Kyle has caught him fake sipping a cup of tea, plastic crown on, with his sister before.

Dislikes: People who try to cut off relationships and burn down bridges instead of addressing the problem. People that run from their problems *cough, cough, Bri, cough*

Relationship with Family: Loves his momma and dad, (married) very close with both, and his little sister too, not to forget his uncles, Kyle, Simon, and Johnny, and their kiddos.

Price’s Daughter

Name: Josie

Age: 5

Birthday: April 12

Physical Description: Round face, big cheeks, big blue eyes, wispy brown hair. Chubby little body and hands, super short at 3’4, button nose, long eyelashes, puffy lips. Always has a tiny pout for whatever reason, but as soon as she sees her brother, her face lights up.

Personality: Little kids don’t have the most personality, but this kid loves Disney princesses, she makes John dress up as Tiana or her favorite, Rapunzel, and has tea parties with him and the stuffies in her room. She also loves cornbread and begs her mama to make it on the daily.

Talents: Eating copious amounts of cornbread?

Likes: Playing dress up.

Dislikes: Nap time.

Relationship with Family: Super close with everyone, but most attached to her mom, rightfully so.

Tags:

@seconds-over-first

[thetypedwriter]

Solitaire Book Review

Solitaire Book Review by Alice Oseman 

I’ve loved every book I’ve ever read by Alice Oseman. Granted, that’s only been Loveless and Radio Silence, but both of those books were fantastic. I never read Oseman’s infinitely popular graphic novel series Hearstopper, but I did watch the first season on Netflix and really enjoyed that too. 

So going into Oseman’s book Solitaire, had me filled with high expectations and eager anticipation. Unfortunately those expectations and excitement dwindled to something I’ve never experienced with Oseman before: disappointment. 

Apparently, Alice Oseman wrote Solitaire when she was seventeen-years-old. I’m a little confused on the history, but I’m assuming she wrote Heartstopper first and then Solitaire as a follow-up side novel.

Again, I didn’t look into the details. All I know is that she wrote this book twelve years ago, that it was her debut novel, and that it shows. 

Instead of focusing on Nick and Charlie, Solitaire focuses on Charlie’s sister, Victoria Spring. The best way I can describe Tori is that she is Wednesday Addams embodied, which is ironic seeing as Tori dresses up like Wednesday for Halloween in the novel (very on the nose, Alice). 

However, people seem to like Wednesday Addams’ despondent and cynical attitude (I don’t get it, for the record). I abhor Tori Spring. Maybe abhor is too strong of a word, but she was not a likable narrator. She’s pessimistic, apathetic, rude, judgmental, callous, and mean. 

Her whole schtick is that she thinks other people are “fake” and dislikes that people don’t act in the world, allowing the world to happen to them and only being bystanders to violence, hate, and toxicity. 

And yet…Tori does nothing? The entire novel? The person she supposedly hates the most describes the person Tori is herself.

Which I guess is fitting because Tori seems to despise herself more than anyone. You think as a reader that Tori will grow out of her depression by the end of the novel and come to some sort of understanding or epiphany. 

Spoiler alert: she doesn't. 

If anything, she spirals worse and worse, becoming increasingly sleep-deprived, paranoid, despondent, and obsessive. I get that Oseman wanted a more realistic portrayal of mental health perhaps, or maybe she didn’t think it was realistic for Tori to have a happy ending. 

However, she didn't really get any ending at all. 

Before I get to the conclusion of the story, I guess I should actually explain what the novel is about. 

Tori’s childhood best friend, Lucas, suddenly reappears in her life years later. Around the same time, mysterious pranks start occurring around Higgs, Tori’s school.

Harmless at first, the pranks pulled by the anonymous group Solitaire continuously grow in popularity and in danger, eventually leading to a boy getting beat up, Tori getting hurt by a firework exploding near her, and then, at the end of the novel, Higgs burning down. 

You might ask: why did the school burn down?

I wish I could tell you, but I have no idea. 

Apparently, Lucas was in charge of Solitaire and was doing it all to impress Tori and to bring some “joy” back into her life before the jokes spiraled out of control.

However, Lucas comes to understand that Tori is no longer the girl he knew back in primary school and that she’s drastically changed. He did it because he was in “love” with her, but then admits at the end that he was more in love with the idea of her. 

Okayyyyyy. 

Then, for some inexplicable reason, other people are at Higgs at 5am, including one Michael Holden, Tori’s new fiend and resident “weirdo.”

The ending of the novel then churns out nonsense after nonsense. Tori and her ex-best friend Becky confront Solitaire and persuade them to not burn down the school.

But then, inexplicably, Tori walks out of the room and a classroom is on fire. How? Why? I don’t know. 

I’m unsure if the insinuation is that Michael did it or if Lucas or Solitaire still managed to do it, but all I know is that I was confused. 

Instead of getting better it gets decidedly worse. 

Somehow, Tori thinks she’s going to put out a raging inferno with a single fire extinguisher and chooses now to act instead of evacating a burning building, is lead to believe that Michael is dead from the fire, and then decides to go up to the roof to contemplate suicide. 

Somehow, though, her brother Charlie, Nick, and some other people are outside telling her not to jump. Why are they out there? Some kind of reason.

Apparently Lucas tweeted about it or blogged about the fire so the whole student body is there at 5am to witness the school burning down and see Tori standing on the roof. 

But no fire trucks, police, or authority were there originally, because that would be too logical. 

Alas, Michael is not dead and shows up on the roof to tell Tori that she’s his best friend, they kiss out of left-field, and Tori is convinced not to kill herself. 

The novel ends with them driving to the hospital and with Tori realizing she’s not alone. 

….what? 

The ending was such a jumbled catastrophe that I don’t understand what really happened. It was too climactic and intense in a way that was completely at odds with the tone and plot of the story.

You don’t get any kind of meaningful resolution with Tori other than realizing that she needs a lot of help and care. 

This book was a mess. 

Tori was unlikeable, has no discernible growth as a character, and other people weren incomprehensibly drawn to her and wanted to be friends with her, despite her flat out ignoring them, blowing them off, or being uncommunicative. 

The plot involving Solitaire was ridiculous and uninteresting, culminating in an ending that made no discernible sense and lacked purpose and logic. 

I know people love Heartstopper and Alice Oseman (myself included), but this book is not it. If they decided to publish this novel written twelve years ago simply because the show is popular and they said, “Hey, why not?” they chose wrong. 

I know publishers these days have the mentality of milking a series for all its worth, but this book didn’t add anything of substance, purpose, or heart. 

If anything, it detracts from the Heartstopper universe and makes me appreciate how much Oseman has grown as a writer. The Heartstopper universe is doing just fine on its own. It doesn't need side novels about Tori or about any other character.

Leave it alone, please, I beg of you. 

Recommendation: Solitaire is a poor man’s crappy version of Catcher in the Rye—a book Alice Oseman herself mentions at the end of the novel, stating that none of her characters have read it. Well, they probably should have. It’s a much better story than Solitaire.

Score: 4/10