#i know people easily get offended over food stuffs
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rainbowcrowley · 2 years ago
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(* kohlwurst is a type of smoked sausage, made of pork meat, pork lung and ham)
please keep in mind that there are many different iterations and names for these dishes/foods and i only listed the names by which i know them. also don't get mad at me if i forgot your state's/region's speciality! i picked some of my personal faves. feel free to add foods, recipes and other names. :)
oh and also please don't start any pfannkuchen/krapfen/berliner discourse, it's annoying, thanks <3
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aestheteangel · 1 year ago
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THIS IS MY FIRST ASTRO OBSERVATIONS POST SO TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT LMAO💋💜( I am not an astrologer) :
Venus in the 6th house adore animals, they might be also a bit of a freak about health.
I’m not 100% positive of this but I can tell Neptune in 6th house natives suffer from compulsive disorder about health, on a daily level. I know a person that has this placement, and they overthink about every detail they about to do. 💔
Mars in the 8th house or in Aries OR in Aries degrees tend to have anger issues, they have a hard time dealing with anger when things don’t go the way they want.
Jupiter in the second house have huge appetite, they are obsessed with food and love to try new dishes, even if they are thin.
Moon in the 3th house think with their heart more than their mind. they take everything to the heart, sadly they get offended easily. they are attached to their siblings🥺💜 they also overthink about every little thing. 😭🤷🏻‍♀️
Venus in the 8th house get males attention easily,kind of giving the vibes of “the most attractive and mysterious in the room”(do u guys want me to do a post about Venus in the houses? )
Taurus in the 9th house is a super lucky placement for the areas the house rules , people with this placement are nerds, they get good marks, they lowkey love studying, they travel all over the world , they-
I saw a post the other day and it was about how weird Virgo risings smile in pictures and it’s TRUE 😭😭 they tend to awkwardly smile while staring when you get them a picture🙂🤷🏻‍♀️
I’m sorry but obviously Virgo Venus, Capricorn Venus, libra Venus are the hardest to impress, but when they fall in love, they fall HARD. 🥺❤️ am I right?
As someone who has the Saturn in 11th house.... I have nothing to say but it’s never fair. 🤦🏽‍♀️ like no matter how nice I am I get misunderstood and everyone being rude for no reasonnn??? Such a unfairness placement. 😢💔💔
The intimidating energy lilith in first house gives 😫🖤.
mars In Leo could be the funniest to be around , but don’t try to disrespect them in front of anyone, their mood could switch in a second and get back at you right away 😟🤣also with Scorpio mars, they are not the type to shut down when stuff like these accrue to them🤪🔒.
Neptune in the 6th house makes the native think like “what if - what if “ a lot in a DAILY routine lmao. Sorry I know not funny.
Venus in 10th house are ATTRACTIVEEEE they have a lot of admirers, also a stellium in such a house with positive aspects surely indicates the same thing. Could be also in 5th house. LIT 🔥.
Venus in 1st house gets people to like them for their mesmerizing beauty, innocent like beauty,the vibes they give in fIrst impressions are ADORABLE 🥺I’m not sure but they could use that to get away with things. 🤣😭💗
Are Pluto in the 5th house the obsessive one or the ones who attract obsessive people? 🤷🏻‍♀️(I know the answer lmaoo)
Mars in the 9th house have passion for travel, they are so strict in religious matters, they could find what makes them happy in what the 9th house representatives areas
Moon in the 11th house is such a cute placement , I wish I have it 🥺.
Let’s just agree that moon in libra is such a infinite beauty indicator? Madison beer has it, should I mentions more? justin Bieber , and ME. srsly every libra moon I met have some type of beauty in them wether it’s physically or in the heart, even both! I mean after all their heart is ruled by Venus 😩🍭💗.
Well this is a quick random one, I wrote this in less than 10 minutes cause I’m bored lol so 🤣💜(comment for paid chart readings 💕$)
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takemetomyfragiledreams · 2 months ago
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@monkess requested soft kissing and my brain just ran with it. this is post-mastermind
To the outside world, Blitzø is not soft. Loud? Yes. Abrasive? Always. But soft?As if. He's bristling spines and bared teeth. A dog that learned how to bite first, canines locked firmly around a fragile neck.
There are very few people that can make him feel settled enough to relax the front. Fizz, once they got over their past misunderstanding and fell back into easy friendship. Mox and Millie, who he took under his wing and who understand him on a fundemental level. Loona, who stole his heart the moment he saw her snarling and alone in the back of a kennel.
Before Stolas, that would have been the end to the list. For a long time, even, it was. And then came Stolas' confession. Asmodeous' crystal. Their fight. The party. The month of drowning the complex twist of feelings in junk food and bad TV. The trial.
Almost dying put a lot of things into perspective. Watching Stolas take his place? It was like being drenched in ice cold water, drowned, electrocuted and then set ablaze.
In other words: painful, traumatizing and so ridiculous he might have laughed if he hadn't been busy sobbing first.
Realizing that they could have seperated forever on bad terms, that Stolas had been willing to die for him even after everything he'd said, had collapsed any of the walls that had remained between him and his feelings.
He was an idiot.
An idiot with a very lost and alone bird to take care of. Which, as it turned out, came surprisingly easily. Taking care of Stolas, that is. He's done a lot of things to Stolas in bed. He's used teeth and claws, gone at him with knives and beartraps, the list goes on. He is used to being cruel in all the ways that please. But he finds he is suddenly reluctant to be anything other than gentle.
He helps Stolas groom the stuff that gets thrown at him out of his feathers—after putting a bullet through the offenders' skull; most people caught on quick not to fuck with his bird—gives him blankets and pillows to build his nest; even brings home shitty plants for him to nurse back to health. He teaches him how to cook the basics, explains who and what to avoid now that he's not living safe in a palace.
Taking care of Stolas is not the chore he once thought it would be. It lightens something in him every time the heavy cloud of depression parts to let Stolas smile or hoot in laughter. He feels good whenever Stolas rambles excitedly about the plants in the apartment, or when he tucks himself up in Blitzø's office to read through the paperwork Moxxie is finally relieved of.
For a while, it's enough. He tells himself it has to be enough. Stolas is in a vulnerable position and now is not the time for Blitzø to fuck it all up with his feelings. He's an asshole but he's not that much of an asshole. He thinks.
Then, one day, he finds himself staring at Stolas, eyes gone wide and body unnaturally still. His cheek is still warm from where Stolas kissed him and his ears still ring with the sound of Stolas calling him darling.
Fuck, he's missed that. How long has it been since he heard Stolas practically sing endearments? Too fucking long, that's for sure.
It's clearly taken Stolas by surprise too, by the way he's standing just as frozen, still half bent towards Blitzø. His face is slowly turning red, the shock white of his pupils shifting about the room almost frantically.
"I—I'm so sorry, I've overstepped, I don't know what came over me—"
Blitzø is still staring at him.
Stolas straightens and backs towards the door. His paperwork is inside Blitzø's office so where he's going is anybody's guess. He's grounded though, with no magic and no way to fly. He can't outrun Blitzø. Not like this.
There's a shrieking, undignified noise torn free from Stolas' beak when Blitzø pounces. He gets a hand behind Stolas' head before they hit the ground, keeping his pretty brains from being rattled. Stolas is so lanky that his legs knock against the door and send a picture frame clattering to the ground. It's a special edition horse club collectors item but in this moment Blitzø could care less about the fucking thing.
"Stolas," he finally says, tail twitching slowly behind. "Pretty bird."
Stolas' beak snaps shut with a loud click. His normally white face is nearly crimson. He's big enough to push Blitzø off but he just lays there, talons opening and closing out of pure nerves.
"Blitzø," he croaks out. "What are you…" He trails off as Blitzø leans in closer, eyes gone wide and pupils blown out.
"Really wanna kiss you," Blitzø admits. "The things ya do to me, birdie, christ on a stick."
Stolas warbles.
"Been trying to be good, but good's really not my style. Then you—" his spines shiver as he forces himself to take a breath. His claws dig into the floor. "You gotta tell me if you're just fuckin' around here, Stols."
"I'm not, I—" Stolas swallows. He looks uncertain and so far from brave but he still lifts his chin in determination. It's part of what Blitzø loves about him. That even when scared and completely out of his element, Stolas still goes for what he wants. "I'm not 'fucking around', as you put it. I meant it when I said always."
A low growl rumbles up from Blitzø's chest. "You said you'd always save my life."
He smiles helplessly. "The reason was rather implied, darling. I'm afraid my heart is yours, whether you want it or not."
Blitzø's growl rises in volume, until he's practically thrumming with it. His tail lashes as he bends the last few inches to claim Stolas' mouth. For all the tension in them both, for all the time that's passed, it is not hot and heavy as expected. It's slow and desperate, a reminder that they have been here before, that they are both alive and have made it back to one another once more.
"Mine is yours too," he gets out. "It's a fuckin' shitty ass prize but you got it."
Finally, those talons slip up his back, smoothing down his spines in slow delicate lines. His eyes slit as he purrs so hard it shakes his entire body.
Stolas lets out a soft hoot of delighted laughter. "I confess, I've never won anything before. I quite like this prize."
"Yeah, well, good," he mutters, as he nuzzles in close. "Not getting rid of me now, birdie."
Long arms fold around him, eliminating what little space remains between their bodies. "Good," Stolas sighs.
Drop me a stolitz prompt in my ask box and I might write it.
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kyokikia · 1 year ago
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Dine and dash!
Pairings ; Portgas D. Ace × fem!reader
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Request from @luvfzw : heyy can i request a female reader and any one piece char of your choice with a platonic partners in crime trope? (With a smidge of romance if you want)
(thank you for the request! And my night is going great, ty for asking as well!)
Type, fluff and platonic, partners in crime trope
Warnings, cursing (both in dialogue and in the actual story) and thats about it, y/n is used 2-3 times
Likes and reblogs are very appreciated!
alr so ik the main storyline is dine and dashing, but ive never actually dine and dashed.. so uhm, i'll just work with what i think is how it works! Im really sorry if i got it wrong, feel free to send over an ask or a message if i did anything wrong and i'll fix it!
You and Ace were what some people would call partners in crime. Did that mean you guys committed crimes together a lot? Yea of course, you were his best friend after all. You and Ace had each other's back unconditionally, and everyone could tell. You both were always together, honestly knowing he knew your weaknesses better than you did your own, and vice versa. Both of you also seemed to be in sync, so much so that it was worrying. You both always knew what the other wanted when together, which meant you mostly knew what the other felt most of the time, and this included whenever you both felt hungry. Which led you to today.
You and Ace walked around an island that the ship decided to stay in for a day and a night, just to resupply some necessities, take a break, the usual. And you and Ace took this time to wander around the island's city, turns out this island was quite well-of and sort of large, a few shopping districts, good housing, very nice restaurants, an actually nice hospital, and good-looking hotels. Walking all over the city had both of you hungry after a few hours, so both of you started looking for restaurants to eat in.
Both of you agreed not to go for too much of a fancy restaurant, but not too bad of a restaurant either, you wanted good food after all. The pair of you chose a restaurant that was kind of crowded, and thankfully it wasn't those kinds of restaurants where you needed reservations and all that. You both found a table and after ordering, you both didn't wait too long before getting your food served.
You were both seated at a table not too far from the exit, but not the most easily noticeable or seen by the staff. You contentedly watched Ace as he was satisfying his near bottomless stomach while you also ate to your heart's content. The two of you conversing about stupid stuff, and also more silently, talking about how you're gonna get the fuck out of there without paying this time. This wasn't your first time committing these kind of not so harmless shenanigans with him.
The food was good in your opinion, but you both made sure not to spend too long there and when you both finished up, you got up, and left, after telling Ace to come in a few minutes, which he did not listen to. "Ace what the hell!" You whisper-shouted with no serious anger laced in your voice as you watched him exit out of the diner's doors just a minute after you left.
"Why'd you leave so soon!" You whined, bickering with him with a slight teasing manner. He looked at you while smiling with his usual grin, before replying with, "well, because i know I wouldn't get caught!" His response got him an obvious facade of being offended, "I? You deadass think only you wouldn't get caught?" You remarked, with a fake scoff leaving your mouth right after.
His grin grew larger at your scoff, before he quickly answered with, "Yea well I don't think you would get caught but I'm ju—" "just better than me?" You interrupt him, with a knowing smile on your face, before he looks straight in your eyes, "yea. i'm better than you." You look at him and his eyes as he says that, before deciding to turn away frohe freckled man, and you started distancing yourself and walking away from the restaurant and Ace, with him quickly trying to catch up, "hey! y/n! you know i was only joking!"
After he says that, you stop walking and say, "Yea yea i know! But—" the last part of your sentence, you purposefully pause and whispered. Before continuing it with a, "Last one to the ship actually has to pay for the next restaurant visit we go to!" You exclaim with a joyful grin before taking off, running back to where you came from. Ace takes a moment to register what you said, and why you're running off, and what'll happen if he loses. And once he does take it in, his eyes quickly widen before he takes off after you.
"y/n! This is unfair! You got a headstart!" Ace complained, running after you as he quickly tries catching up, the two of you running back to the ship. Eventually, you run out of stamina and start to tiredly walk, Ace not as run down on stamina as you are. "Alright alright Ace! We're done with the race—" you mutter while out of breath, the both of you were close to the ship anyway.
He slows down to match your pace, letting you regain your breath and you both approach the ship, "well, looks like i win!" Ace exclaimed cockily, "yea yea whatever." You replied in frustration at having to pay for the next meal, especially with his bottomless stomach.
"Don't worry about paying for the next meal, i'd rather not pay at all" he assured, "but.. you and me, we go out and steal for a hefty load of berry the next stop we have, alright?" He declared, and to which you gladly accepted. It's free money, and you get to commit crimes with Ace, win win for you all the way!
Alright so sorry this is kinda trash, first one shot i really finished that i'm actually gonna post! I dont know how dine and dash works so i also apologize for that, and im also sorry if you wanted something more intense in the sense of partners in crime! I'm really sorry if you wanted something like robbery or something like that, my brain just couldn't figure a storyline for anything other than this. Please let me know if its to your liking!
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tachimichishrine · 1 year ago
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"barista"
⫭◦⨝◦⫬
hunting dogs x gn!barista!reader hcs
warnings: none!!
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jouno saigiku
oh dear
harasses everyone
harasses his partner
harasses his mf FOOD
by this, I mean he sends things back, not bc he isn't satisfied but bc he can
ESPECIALLY if his partner is on their shift, he'll be extra nasty
"what can I get you today, Jouno?"
"an iced coffee, with specifically 5 cubes of ice 2cm by 2cm, 1 pack sweetener, a drizzle of chocolate and 25ml of 3% milk and, oh, do you have chocolate sprinkles? yeah, I want some of that on top, add some whipped cream too and-"
orders the longest thing and then sends it back because "there were incomplete sprinkles" while staring down the barista with a huge grin
his partner is literally on the verge of breaking up with him for this
however, sometimes he gets bored of toying with them and just orders a coffee
he likes to observe people
it's kinda creepy but he'll pick a seat in the corner and listen as his partner writes down orders and smiles at other people, and then gets somewhat internally offended when they laugh at the random customer's dumb jokes
he narrows his eyes (even more, if that's possible?) at them at wonders why he doesn't make them laugh as loudly as that
takes it as a challenge
now you've got a clingy af jouno who sticks around the desk and seduces his way into the kitchen by flirting with the manager (his partner's boss)
his partner wants to YELL at him that they have to work, but he just places his hands on their hips and kisses their forehead and gives them the slightest hug and tells them how much he loves them, so their partner reluctantly tolerates his presence around their work
he may not know how to cook but he smells every single ingredient and is a surprisingly fast learner so the manager is lowkey trying to recruit him bc of his undeniable talent 👹
overall, he does help in the end, but his partner has to put up with a lot of teasing and nastiness. occasional jokes and cute little pranks where jouno would place a heavily powdered donut under their nose to make them sneeze and eventually messing up the ENTIRE place
but damn, those perfect milkshakes he made are worth it all
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tecchou suehiro
he is easily distracted
asks his partner all sorts of things
"hey, how do they make coffee?"
"well, you put the beans in the machine-"
"beans???"
"yes??? coffee beans???"
"coffee???comes???from??beans???"
"yes, tecch, it does u adorable idiot 🙄"
"does that mean you can make coffee out of the beans they put in burritos and stuff?"
"no- wait I don't think so- actually, maybe-"
other customers overhear the discussion and chip in and the entire thing escalates to the WEIRDEST topics
the manager is pretty impartial as to his presence, given that he doesn't disturb anyone and usually just orders and silently observes his partner with a faint smile on his lips
his partner turns, notices his gaze and bites the inside of their cheek to prevent themselves from blushing/grinning at him, then get back to work
they do, however, like to blow him little kisses while on their shift, or to leave a small note on Tecchou's orders like "ily <3" or "you're so cute 💕"
he is a gentleman omg
he once spent the entire time his partner was on their shift holding the door for the people who entered
gets asked if he works there, and he automatically replies yes and helps everyone with their stuff, whether it's a broken glass or spill or if they need sweetener in their drink
nvm the manager now loves him
he makes it a point to visit his s/o as often as possible when they're working, even if they live together or have a date planned for later that day. he might not say much, but he loves to be in their presence as often as possible
a literal GOD at taking care of angry customers
whereas jouno would probably subtly threaten them, Tecchou is just gonna walk up to their face and be rly straight-forward about it
"sir, what's your problem?"
"I placed my order for coffee, a SINGLE COFFEE OVER HALF AN HOUR AGO AND I STILL HAVEN'T RECEIVED IT??? THIS SERVICE IS TERRIBLE-"
"sir, just take a breath. the employee over here is going to make it for you right away, and free of charge, right?"
ofc, they'd nod and do as he said bc the person is no longer fuming
the biggest issue with having tecchou in the café is his orders
he asks for the oddest things, including, but not limited to, sugar on rice and a hard-boiled egg with the shell still on
his partner makes sure to explain to their boss that this isn't anything abnormal for him, and that they'll make sure to take care of the order themselves
after all, putting together a weird food combo in order to get a chubby-cheeked tecchou stuffing his face with sugary rice is very worthwhile
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teruko okura (aged up?? ig??? bc children running around a café is odd i think?? wtf is her real age-)
she is NOT made to be in a café with a serene vibe
no bc she picks up fights with everyone who breathes
"hey, idiot, stop breathing so loudly or else i'll come over there and shut you up myself-"
her partner thus keeps a stall in the very corner specifically for her that's far away from the other people 😐
teruko loves sugary and spicy flavors all in one, like a strong cinnamon or ginger, any type of warm drink that smells strongly rly
her partner does that mystical thing with the milk that creates a heart on the surface of the drink that looks so cute 
teruko chugs down the drink without even looking at it 💀
she isn't one for those kinds of gestures, and would much rather physically cling to her partner's side instead
sneaks up from under the counter and then pops up like a weasel with a HUGE smile on her face, the kind of cute smile that is like, showing all of her teeth and SUPER contagious and makes you wanna pat her on the head and hug her
the manager DOES NOT agree with this tho and kicks her out repeatedly. teruko is so close to snapping the manager's neck but her partner intervenes and reminds her that they still need their job
the entire café, teruko concludes, is against her
the powdered sugar gets thrown into her face by an unknown force
salt gets dumped on her hair
she slips on a puddle in the corner
the milkshake machine explodes in her face
it's just NOT her scene
that is the last time she visited her partner while at work, telling them that she's going to be waiting outside once their shift is over bc the pain is NOT worth it
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fukuchi ochi
fukuchi barely has time to spend with his s/o, given how much of a busy man he is
so, he'll support them by financing the café itself and making sure they get high-quality ingredients and that the working conditions are acceptable
he does make it a point to ONLY get his coffee from there, tho, but doesn't use it as an excuse to talk to his partner. he's in he gets the coffee, then he's out
for this reason, his partner - who is not an idiot and needs human affection just like the rest of the planet - "suddenly and mysteriously" becomes a klutz
"accidentally" drops the coffee on him as they're serving his order, which leads him to freak out, and then rush to the bathroom to wash it off
apologizing profusely, his partner will follow him to the bathroom and help him out, using this as an opportunity to 1) get him to take off his shirt 😌 2) talk to him
this happens for about 3 weeks before his dense ass realizes that they just want some love
tries this out, showing up and ordering his usual coffee, and then asks them how their day has been
they BEAM at him, and gush about the tiniest things
he won't admit to himself that he loves seeing them so happy like that and that it makes his heart flutter a bit, instead telling himself the next time he stays that he's doing it "out of convenience" or some bs like that
eventually finds himself spending hours in the café just talking to his partner about random things, whether that is during their break or while the s/o is supposed to be working
the manager doesn't have the balls to tell him that they're supposed to be working bc fukuchi supplies like half the financial funds for the place 😍
he might start to be showing up late to hunting dogs' meetings for the next while, but spending the time with his partner has been shown to be more than worth.
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tachihara michizou
It's very likely that the café is the place he met his partner, or at least has some kind of emotional value to him
either it's where they first asked him out (bc there's no way he'd make the first move) or maybe he was caught in the rain and his future partner, walking out of the café while holding an umbrella, offered it to him with a bright smile
for this reason, he likes to meet them here as much as possible
HOWEVER, there's an issue with dating tachihara, a big one at that
mid-way through the relationship, he had to go undercover and work for the mafia
since his partner had met him and knew only of his work as being "dangerous" and "top-secret", they understood a bit when he said that he had to go on a business trip of sorts and things would get complicated
tachihara lowkey went into a full-on breakdown bc he had never been loved like that before and felt sick at the idea of leaving, but his partner assured him that they'll be waiting for the day he comes back, and held him in their arms for the entire night, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear and gently kissing his forehead
eventually, he did have to leave. in the beginning, he teared up every night while in the port mafia thinking of his love
so, once he got the mafia's trust and moved along in the ranks, he got more freedom to move around and stuff. eventually, he got so heartsick he found himself subconsciously wandering right in front of the café out of habit
before he could snap out of his trance and get tf out of there, his partner noticed him and pulled him into the tightest hug in existence while sobbing their heart out
tachihara couldn't imagine the pain of saying goodbye for good again
so, he made it a rule to come and visit them on his shifts as often as possible, discreetly for their safety
they a b a n d o n their job and run over to hug him every single time he appears bc they never know if it'll be the last time they'll see him
the manager doesn't really follow the story, but tachihara's partner is one of the harder workers in the café, and the café itself isn't that popular anyways, so there's no point in yelling at them
tachihara isn't picky about what food he eats or what drinks he sips, so long as he gets to hear his partner's voice and be near them (I strongly hc that he has attachment issues)
he orders hot chocolate, even in the summer, and still hasn't shaken off that child-like tendency of chugging it down aggressively and ending up with a chocolate milk mustache, which his partner teases him about every single time
one time, he wasn't vigilant enough and gin - who was supposed to deliver a message from the boss about one thing or another - followed tachihara all the way to the café
saw tachihara kissing some stranger 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯👩‍🦯
she walked up to him, and his eyes went WIDE. his partner didn't recognize gin for obvious reasons, and thus got embarrassed, climbed off of tachihara and stood back at the counter, and asked her what her order was, since technically the shop was still operating
gin was confused af
she creased her brows at them, shook her head then turned towards tachihara
oh boy tachihara is screwed
at first, his partner thought he'd been cheating on them or something, then thought about it twice and realized that he wasn't the type to cheat on people. so they (not-so-)gently shoved gin out of the way and told tachihara that they "needed a smoke", a codeword for "outside. now. we need to talk"
he told gin that he'd received the message, and to tell the boss that he'll deal with it tomorrow, and then the mafiosa went on her way. 
his s/o demanded an explanation as to who tf that was, and tachihara reluctantly explained that it was someone he worked with
his partner isn't an idiot, they knew that his work was dangerous and that "someone he worked with" would be equally so, and thus they realized by the way he was perspirating with cold sweat and seemed pretty shocked that the girl had shown up
eventually, things were sorted out and no harm was done. tachihara made gin swear she wouldn't tell anyone about his dating situation, and like the frikkin amazing person she is, she agreed.
even though he slipped up that time, he couldn't stop himself from heading back to the café and meeting up with his partner as often as possible
in the end, the risk was clearly worth it
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redpenship · 1 year ago
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Hello, hi, I have covid rn and so eepy but like this idea just came to me. You know how Eggman and other villain often call sonic a rat or other animals than a hedgehog right? What if like, intentionally miss identifying a mobian species is like the equivalent of a slur to them?
I’ve been stuck rotating this in my head for hours, now you get to have it too
Anyway love your stuff bye
Hello, I'm sorry that you're sick! I hope your case of covid isn't too terrible.
(Note: I am ignoring all the Archie Overlander stuff because I haven't read it yet).
Ultimately, I think the answer to this question depends on how entangled a character's identity is with their species. How much does Sonic care about being a hedgehog? Does it impact his decisions? Does he feel that it might impact how people perceive him? Historically speaking, has the misidentification of mobian species led to problems or discrimination? Is there a reason for Sonic to actually care when someone calls him a rat/rodent/other animal?
In the canon world, my inclination is to believe that it isn't something Sonic really cares about. His species is pretty important, since people call him a hedgehog all the time and it's usually one of the first things they notice about him, but there isn't really any bias displayed against hedgehogs (whether positive or negative) whenever someone comments on his appearance. The same goes for all the other mobian characters. So, I generally don't think he has reason to take offence when someone calls him a rat or rodent.
That doesn't mean Sonic never cares. Although the cartoon's standing in canon is questionable, Sonic does get annoyed in Sonic Prime when the Chaos Council refuses to identify him as a hedgehog for the duration of his capture. Now, there are two significant pieces of context there: 1) he's their prisoner in the moment and subject to immediate power imbalance, and 2) this particular dimension is one in which five humans rule over and oppress their animal/Mobian subjects. There are no other humans to compare the conditions of Mobians to, so whether or not the Chaos Council treats the Mobians like that because they're Mobians is kind of up in the air. You can take the fact that everyone wears clothes as evidence for their oppression being species-specific, and I think the way they treated both Nine and Sonic while they were captured also provides support for the species-specific take on everything. So, in this case, Sonic may have been flustered by the consistent misidentification of his species because it reflected unequal conditions seen in the world.
A similar instance I remember is Sonic's reaction when Chris offers him cat food in Sonic X--he gets kind of pissed and almost leaves. He may have just been upset that someone was offering him what is clearly pet food, but I'll take it as an example of Sonic being offended anyways. (Sonic X isn't canon either, but shows and movies outside of canon do allow writers to explore the characters in ways they can't in the games/comics, so I like citing them as fun hypotheticals sometimes).
Both of these examples might point to a more nuanced answer: Sonic doesn't care when Eggman refuses to call him a hedgehog, but he does care when other humans do it. His difference in attitude can be explained pretty easily: he holds the balance of power in his relationship with Eggman, but not with the other humans in Prime or X (Chris had just saved him from drowning, and he also wasn't allowed to run around as he pleased unless he wanted to be chased by cops again). So, if the context of being called a rodent allows for him to perceive it as dehumanizing, he might actually be bothered by it. It all depends on the power dynamics at play.
In true canon, I don't think there's any reason to believe that humans are prejudiced against Mobians. Eggman's attempts to dehumanize Sonic by comparing him to rats and non-sapient animals probably just make him look kind of goofy, or at the very least the kind of goofy you might associate with witnessing someone being genuinely hateful towards, say, Italian-Americans in 2023. Like, what? That's stupid. You're a weirdo, grandpa.
If you're a "humans are prejudiced against Mobians" truther, then I think there's a pretty high chance that Sonic would be offended by this kind of name-calling. This is especially true if there's any historical basis for humans deliberately associating mobians with "animals" as a way to flex power, alleged higher intelligence, or the supremacy of sophisticated human civilization.
My personal take on canon disagrees, but that's because I'm not the biggest fan of explicit fantasy racism and kind of go out of my way to downplay it even in fics where there are human-mobian tensions. I actually had a lot of fun playing with tropes in Buzzsaw Dilemma by having Mobians associate themselves with animals, or by refusing to have any of the human characters Tails interacts with do or say anything genuinely discriminatory. Not that this really matters in regards to the question at hand.
So, to summarize, I think the answer to your question depends on your interpretation of canon! If you think humans hold some kind of power over Mobians, then sure, Sonic would probably dislike being called a rat or rodent. If you don't, then I don't think he would really care that much.
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kayrockerqog · 1 year ago
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Tyranno Kenzan (Hassleberry) Headcanons 🦖💥
Because the inner machinations of my mind urge me to go feral, as I do, over this boy. Enjoy my madness.
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He's very familiar with plant life, to the point of knowing their scientific names and being able to recognize edible plants and herbs in the wild. He's confused Syrus and Jaden many times by picking a plant seemingly at random and munching on it as they walk back to the dorms.
He has this innate ability to sense when it's going to rain/storm, both because of his leg tensing/aching and he gets HORRID migraines when the weather changes significantly. And he despises them. He doesn't like being dizzy.
Doubly, his leg cramps far more that he gives off, but he doesn't want to bring it up most of the time. Jim's the only one that's noticed, because Karen will nuzzle her head against Tyranno's leg when it's sore.
[Cut for the sake of breaking up the text!!]
He gives such blatant neurodivergent vibes, like that is an autistic man right there!!! but the notable parts of it are him being the type to communicate with/subconsciously stim through growls and grunts, especially when trying to focus, and he chews stuff (his necklace, fingernails, pencils, random ass stick he found outside-)
He really likes creature feature films!!! He has a small collection of collectors edition copies of movies in the genre, and outside of Jurassic Park, his favorite is the original Godzilla.
On the subject of movies, he cries so easily at them. Like during any peak emotional moment, my man would be tearing up without THINKING ABOUT IT
He has an internal list of all of his friends' birthdays, music tastes and food preferences ^^ as the token mom friend does
If the others are ever running late for something, he'll just scoop them up and start SPRINTING, like man's got no chill, he WILL lift you like a bag of cement onto his shoulder and RUN
He absolutely HATES VR headsets, they only make his migraines come back, and they're also too high-tech for him,,
He can talk to Karen. Like, the two have full on conversations while Jim's doing something nearby. Jim would be working on homework and in the background its back and forth growling.
Every. Single. Time. They go to the beach, he will run off and start digging a hole in the sand. No purpose, he just digs. And usually Jim and O'Brien join him!
I imagine he was raised in a home that operated on the "take care of your own stuff first, but help when you can" discipline, and while he's happy to do stuff for his buds, they're not immune to a lecture on responsibility every now and then
He has a dino-themed apron and he's a stress baker, something Judai and the others discovered during his first exam season.
Additionally, I imagine he started spending more time with Prof. Sartyr (the Ra dorm leader) after their duel, where they get to cook together and he expands on his already decent homemaker skills.
Yes I said homemaker skills, that man is a malewife and a PROUD one and I will stand by it.
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⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ EXHIBIT A HE LOOKS SO HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!
I was informed by some lovely Discord people that he has some fascination with mob/yakuza films, and I can't unsee the idea of him throwing in some gangster phrases mid-duel. Like he comes out with the "swimming with the fishes" and everything.
(Which, sidenote, I also imagine he was super offended by the one Society of Light duelist who talked like a gangster and got a little snobby about it-)
He signs his name by drawing a little dinosaur in the "R" of "Tyranno". I know he does he told me himself.
Similar to the stuff with Karen, he's the kind of person to respond to animal noises with similar noises. Like, he meows back at Pharaoh when he meows.
He has a horrible poker face, and is generally not a great liar. He's easy to read since he's such a physically emotive person.
Rock. Collection. He absolutely has a small pile of rocks with fossils on them in his room somewhere.
I wrote most of these a long time ago but some are newer as a result of me needing to chill~ School is hell, I almost wish I was at Duel Academy instead,,
I think I might do posts like these with all my main favourite characters from all my franchises, lemme know what y'all think :>
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ryuichirou · 1 year ago
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A lot of NeigeVil today! Well we always get Neige-related asks when we post him; in-universe and in real life, Neige stans never miss 💪😔💕 I’m glad you enjoyed the sketch!
There are always some Azul and Jamil and some other stuff.
Anonymous asked:
Vils face simultaneously says ‘oh sweet seven he found me.’ And ‘seven above kill me now.’ And I’m living for it
Every time Neige is being friendly with him, Vil has to physically force himself to count to 10… But when Neige’s appearance is this sudden, he immediately gets both of these thoughts stuck in his head lol
Thank you so much!
blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:
Oh fan will go NUTS seeing Neige glomp Vim
Absolutely, magicam will crash because of everyone’s reactions lol
They’ll change their profile pics to this moment.
They’ll be spamming this clip everywhere for weeks.
They’ll write threads overanalyzing every little gesture that occurred during this 2 second long event.
It’s going to be bad lol
Anonymous asked:
NEIGEVIL I LOVE NEIGEVIL ♥️♥️♥️
Same same!! Thank you <3
Anonymous asked:
Ngl that art of Neige hugging Vil from.behind gives me some kind of unintentional (?) stalker Neige vibe and I'm here for it like it seems like he came out of nowhere and ambushed Vil
Maybe I just like the idea of Neige doing a bunch of questionable and problematic things because it's such a contrast
Yeah, I get it! With Neige, everything is innocent at first glance; on this particular sketch he just saw Vil at some event (maybe red carpet?) and got excited because he haven’t seen him for some time. But the moment when Neige notices Vil, he stops thinking about anything else, rushes through the crowd of people who are clearly busy doing their own celebrity thing, and just jumps on him, startling him and all. It’s serious tunnel vision lol And of course once he sees him, he won’t be able to look at anyone else for the entire event. Can’t blame him though…
Still, it’s kind of a mild thing. Neige deserves to do more suspicious and questionable things lol
hipsterteller asked:
okay...either the pineapple pizza ((its like stoner food for me)) made me hallucinate cause...why does Neige look like Pee-wee herman?
The resemblance is accidental – I don’t even know the guy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anonymous asked:
Has Azul everthought of kidnapping Jamil before? The tweels will likely be interested
Oh the tweels would cooperate happily, this sounds like a fun plan, especially if Azul has something interesting in mind for Jamil~ “Gentlemen, we’re going to kidnap Jamil-san”… quite intriguing, isn’t it??
In all seriousness, I don’t think Azul ever thought about it in details, but I also don’t think it’s out of the question for him. If he has a good reason (or just wants it very badly and comes up with an excuse), he definitely won’t hesitate. The idea of Jamil being trapped and unable to run away from his advances sounds wonderful, especially if Azul gives Jamil an ultimatum, i.e. if you cooperate with us, we’ll let you go. That way he could savour Jamil (wink wink) while he haggles with his own pride and considers Azul’s offer.
It won’t go as smoothly as Azul expects though lol
Anonymous asked:
How about Azul being jealous of Jamil being with Ruggie? Like I am sure at least he can take his opponent down easily since he isn't a higher class.
I think Azul doesn’t even realise that Ruggie could be a rival to him and doesn’t really consider him a threat, at least at the very beginning. But if they are put in a situation in which Jamil constantly chooses to partner with Ruggie, it’s definitely going to offend Azul. He knows that Ruggie has his strengths and a decent level of knowledge, since he helped out with the Lounge a couple of times, but he still thinks that he is better than him.
He won’t just jump straight to disposing of Ruggie though; he’ll try to win Jamil over at first. You know, trying to make Jamil see just how much better of a match they are compared to Jamil and Ruggie. But it’s Azul we’re talking about, and he can get quite petty lol
Anonymous asked:
Seeing this post (https://www.tumblr.com/ryuichirou/735069892134551552/just-be-grateful-he-doesnt-have-a-lower-half)
Made me think of a twst x monster high au with malleus x Rochelle Goyle (in gen 1 she has a boyfriend  but  for the sake of the au she doen't)
Don’t know anything about Monster High, but yeah I see, she is a gargoyle girl…
Well, someone might write a fic about it lol
Not us though, since we’re not really into Monster High or het ships.
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ninjagirlstar5 · 2 years ago
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Protag Teruya AU - Mikado Sannoji’s FTE (Part 1)
Congratulations, Mikado. You finally get to hang out with people like a normal person and get more free time events! Hooray!
This event actually continues off of Kokoro’s FTE, so be sure to read that one before starting this one.
Word count is 3,657! Not too long and not too short.
AO3 Version
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 
[Edit]Disclaimer: While Sannotori is problematic, it’s a thing in this AU/fic and the dynamic is not the same as it is in canon.
The Protag Teruya AU was inspired by @/anotherprofessional’s post! Beware of Void spoilers though!
Fic is under read more!
“Huh…This actually tastes good.”
“See? I told you I can make tea.”
Teruya snorts as he lifts the cup to his mouth again. After what happened with Kokoro, he decided to hang out with Mikado. He could’ve easily spent more time investigating or choose to stay in his room to rest. But he had already searched everywhere he could think of, so re-examining places he’s already been to felt a bit redundant. And while taking a break would’ve been nice, he really didn’t want to be alone right now.
Not after finding out Kokoro was planning to use him as a test subject.
Teruya suppresses a shudder and takes a sip of his green tea. It was a bit bitter but he liked the vegetal and earthy taste a lot more than he expected. Mikado takes a sip as well, but he grimaces and squints at his cup.
“I thought green tea was supposed to taste sweet.” The wizard complained. Teruya chuckles as he sets the cup down on the counter. They were both sitting in front of a kitchen countertop with an archway that allows people to watch anyone that cooks in the kitchen while eating their food. A good spot to relax while also keeping an eye on Mikado to make sure he didn’t mess up making their tea. Or set the kitchen ablaze.
He’s still not over the absolute panic Mikado caused after spending a whole day in the infirmary.
“That’s probably because you burned the leaves in the water.” Teruya said, the random bits of knowledge in his head making itself known once more. “The water was too hot so the leaves got burned and became bitter. The leaves are pretty delicate, so you have to be careful.”
“Augh, are you telling me that I still messed up despite making edible tea?” Mikado whined, setting his cup down. Teruya smiles a little, propping his elbow on the table and leaning his chin against the palm of his hand.
“Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I like it the way it is.” Teruya takes another sip to prove his point. Mikado’s mask was still pouting but he seems to have come to terms with his mistake. “I think it also depends on your preference. If you like it bitter, you’d probably want the leaves burnt. But if you like it sweet, you’d want to be careful with the temperature.”
“I think I get it now…” Mikado sighs as he stares down at his cup before reluctantly taking another sip. “...Have you figured out your talent yet?”
“...No.” Teruya frowns, taking his chin off of his palm. “I really don’t get it. I’m physically fit but I’m not exactly good at any specific sport. I’m good at math, to the point I can do calculations in my head, but I somehow suck at geometry. Setsuka tested me with that one earlier, if you’re wondering.” Mikado nods in response. “And stuff like with the watch and the tea are two completely different things and yet I understand the basics of how they work. It just doesn’t make sense to me.”
“Hm…Perhaps your talent is a lot more broader than we think.” Mikado rubs his finger against his chin. He then smiled at him. “Perhaps a teacher?” Teruya laughs.
“Me? A teacher? No way.” He said it with confidence he didn’t remember. But he had a vague sense that someone he knew would’ve been offended at the suggestion. “Besides, what kind of teacher would I be? Even elementary schools have subjects that are taught by different teachers.”
“Really? I wouldn’t know.” The eye of Mikado’s mask go wide. Teruya was once again reminded that Mikado’s lifestyle was completely different from his. At least, from what he could understand of himself with his lack of memories.
“Yeah. At least, I think so. I don’t feel that different from everyone else. As far as I know, I had a pretty normal life.” Teruya said with a sigh, staring down at the cup of tea. His face was reflected in the green liquid, only dissipating when he swirls the cup by the handle. “…I guess that’s what makes it so difficult to figure out my talent. Whatever it is, it’s either too obscure for most people to know about or my skill set is too broad to narrow down the scope…” The thought hits him mid talk and he feels a new worry crawl into his chest. “Unless I don’t have one-“
“You do.”
Teruya blinked, forcing his gaze away from his tea to stare at Mikado. The mask had gone back to its wide, genial smile.
“I mean, there are many talents that require a broad sense of knowledge. Politicians, reporters, managers…They sound distinct, but they all require a decent amount of knowledge in order to do their work effectively.” Mikado pauses before tilting his head. “But if there’s one thing these three have in common, it’s charisma. When the chips are down, you have quite a way with words to bring others to your side. A leader if I ever saw one.” The wizard then lifts the cup of tea to his lips. “…Perhaps, instead of looking at talents that require a specific skill, we should look for ones that have a more…wider reach. Do you understand what I mean?”
“I, uh, think so…” Teruya said, trying to keep his expression neutral as he stared down at his tea. He didn’t really feel much like a leader. He just said what he needed to say and everyone took that as a sign to follow him like he was one. The pressure was a bit much, but he couldn’t turn them away now. He should at least try and help everyone get along as they investigate. And, well, he felt a nagging feeling in his gut when Mikado listed his examples. “…Manager sounds familiar. Maybe my talent is something like that…Something that deals with business?”
“Perhaps! If you feel that is right or it’s something similar, it wouldn’t hurt to look more into it.” Mikado said, taking a sip of his tea before setting it down. He stares at it for a while. “Now, about your conversation with Ms. Mitsume…”
“I-“ Teruya tightens his grip on his tea. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s all cryptic stuff that I don’t understand anyways.”
“That’s fine. Any information is better than nothing. Especially in a situation where we are lacking almost nothing.” Mikado urges, leaning closer to Teruya. His first instinct was to shut him down. He still felt terrified for his life now that he knew he was chosen as a test subject for Kokoro’s experiment. But he felt that would be too rude to someone that has continued to support him so far. He wanted to change the subject to something else, like Mikado’s upbringing, but from what he can tell from the casual hints he’s been dropping, the wizard didn’t have a normal life. He might be stepping into traumatic territory if he goes with this idea and they are still getting to know each other as friends. But Teruya didn’t want to leave Mikado hanging. Even if he didn’t want to talk about it right now, he deserves at least some kind of answer. Besides, talking about it may reveal clues that were hidden in Kokoro’s words. But how can he talk about it when he can barely bring himself to…?
Teruya grips his coat, only to brush his fingers against a hard cover in his pocket.
Oh, right! His journal! He wrote down information from his talk with Kokoro. He can just hand his journal over to Mikado and let him examine the contents on his own. It’ll keep him from talking too deeply about it while still exchanging clues between each other.
Nodding to himself, Teurya reaches into his pocket and pulls out his journal. He holds it out for Mikado to take, who only stares at it with the blink of his eye. His mask.
Not gonna lie, it’s creepy how it can just…express itself while Mikado’s real face remained the same. He was growing used to this change after the mask had broken in half but it still made him uncomfortable to look at.
“Here. I, uh, wrote down some stuff when I talked with her. I didn’t understand half of what she was talking about but maybe you’ll have a better idea?” Teruya said, waving the journal a bit to try and get Mikado interested in it. He raises his gaze with a tilt of his head and his wide eye.
“She allowed you to take notes?” Mikado asked. Teruya could only give him a shrug as he didn’t bother to ask. In hindsight, he probably should’ve but what’s done is done. And there was no way in hell he was going back to her room. The wizard didn’t question it any further and instead took his journal from his hand. Before he opens it, the expression on his mask softens. “Are you sure you want me to look through it? I’d imagine there are some personal thoughts in this.”
“I mean, yeah, but you only have to read Kokoro’s interrogation. And you won’t come across anything else if you start from back to front.” Teruya puts his hand on the counter. Even if Mikado catches a glimpse of anything else, he trusts him to keep it to himself.
“...I suppose that’s true.” Mikado then opens up the journal from the back and flips through the pages until he reaches the most recent entry, which was Kokoro’s interrogation. The wizard carefully reads his notes and Teruya crosses his legs as he thinks.
Should he give Mikado a gift? He’d probably appreciate one and he had way too much stuff in his backpack from the gift shop. The real question is what should he give him?
He pulls his backpack onto the counter, Mikado’s real eye glancing at it but going back to the journal. Rummaging through the contents to figure out what kind of gift would suit the wizard, he comes across something that he personally liked himself. It was an antique doll that he had gotten from his multiple attempts at the Monocrow Machine and he was tempted to put it on his desk to watch over him. But when he had turned off the light, the pretty doll ended up looking far creepier than he expected in the dark and he decided that maybe he didn’t want to keep it. Or at least, he didn’t want it in his bedroom where he can see it as he sleeps. But would Mikado even want something like this…?
“Having some trouble, Otori-san?” Mikado asked, and he pulled his gaze away from the antique doll. He hesitates before putting the doll up so the wizard can see it better. The wizard looks at it and tilts his head. “...Is that for me?”
“Uhhh, yes?” Teruya scratches the back of his head. “Only if you want it, of course.”
“Sure. It can be useful in my studies for magic after all.” Mikado said, accepting the gift without another thought. He even picked it up to examine the doll more closely while putting the journal down. Teruya blinks his eyes, curious now.
“How so?” He scoots his chair closer to the counter, crossing his arms on top of it. Mikado’s eye seem to light up upon being asked.
“Well, it’s simple really.” The mask smiles widely. “Dolls are common in rituals that involve spirits as some need a conduit to speak through. And while mediums can do it through their own body, it tends to put themselves and other participants in danger if the spirit is quite malicious or too confused to the point of being vicious. So it’s generally safer to communicate with the dead through another physical object than another human being.”
“O-Oh, great.” Teruya couldn’t help but shudder. It was interesting, sure, but that didn’t mean he liked the idea of the supernatural. Mikado chuckles at his reaction. “So, wait. Is that why possessed dolls are a thing? And what if a g-ghost used the doll's body to try and attack someone?”
“Not necessarily.” Mikado rolls his eye as if the idea itself was stupid. “For starters, dolls like this are fragile, so they wouldn’t be very useful to commit violence with it. Not to mention that only an idiot would go through a ritual without putting up protective seals from the beginning. And even if the doll was able to get past all those, again, they are easy to break. Destroy the spirit's connection to the real world, a.k.a. the doll, and they will disappear on the spot.” He then tilts his head towards Teruya with a frown. “Which is why I don’t recommend using humans or any other sturdier object as a vessel. If something goes wrong, it could endanger or even kill people.”
“...Magic is dangerous. And terrifying.” He lets out a laugh that was far from amused. He then clears his throat and straightens his posture, ignoring the sweat the clings to his neck. “Why would you want to do a ritual like that anyways?”
“Hm…” Mikado sets the doll down on the counter. “Remember the fake class trial? Where we had to solve that murder of someone who died in the past?” Teruya nods his head. “I was thinking, if there were other people who had passed away on these islands, perhaps they could give us some information about them. There could be a connection between them and the killing game.”
“How can you be certain of that?” Teruya asked, frowning as he tried to follow Mikado’s logic.
“Think about it. Ms. Mitsume chose these islands for the killing game. Why? Is it just because the islands are isolated from the mainland or is there an underlying motivation behind it?” Mikado said, tilting the doll in his direction. He was silent for a moment as he stared at it. “If learning the history behind these islands can give us a better idea of why this is happening, it could give everyone another layer of motivation to not kill each other. Perhaps even counter her plans as well. And that ‘fake’ murder…it bothers me.” Teruya clenches his fists.
Honestly, that “fake” murder bothered him too.
It gave him this sickening, twisted feeling of familiarity.
He just wasn’t sure why.
“Well, at least this will help your investigation.” Teruya said, gesturing to the doll. Mikado nods his head before picking it up and putting it away. In his cape. Which seems to swallow it whole somehow. He kinda wished his backpack was similar. A hammerspace backpack would be so useful. The amnesiac decides to change the topic. “So…about the journal.”
“Ah, right.” Mikado looks down at it before sliding it over so he can see it better. He points at the notes, going down it like a list. “There’s this man from the portrait that you claim is familiar to you. But of course, you don’t remember him despite his similarity to Mr. Maeda.”
“Y-Yeah…” Teruya stares at his journal and then brings his attention to Mikado’s face. He was completely focused on the journal, not even bothering to glance his way. “Do you…think it’s odd that they look like each other?”
“Look-alikes are a thing in our world. In fact, I believe the chance of a look-alike is about one in a hundred and thirty-five chances. However, for someone to have the exact same features of another without being a twin would be…about one in a billion? No, I think it’s a trillion.” Mikado answers, his finger underlining the words of Yuki being similar to the man in the portrait. “Look-alikes aren’t uncommon, especially in comparison to…seven billion people with a chance of a hundred and thirty-five. But I doubt the man in the portrait looked completely like Yuki. Just enough to look similar without anyone noticing at first glance.”
“Oh, I see…” Somehow, that made sense to him. Even if his gut twisted at the knowledge he just learned. “Maybe I should’ve shown you the portrait.”
“Maybe. But, it’s merely a portrait in the end. And Ms. Mitsume said that he’s dead. I don’t really see how he can be relevant to the killing game now aside from Mr. Maeda being similar to him in appearance.” Mikado hums. “A mastermind that can read other people…that’s not good.”
“How should we counter that? Because I have no idea.” Teruya said. Perhaps it was a bit risky to be honest about his thoughts when an entire group of people were looking to him as a leader. But he really had no idea what to do. Mikado blinks his eye before turning towards him.
“If you want my honesty…not much.” Mikado said without a beat. He slumps his shoulders but the wizard wasn’t done speaking. “The best way to counter it is to mask your emotions as best as possible, to the point of being stoic. And that’s not a skill everyone can do very easily.”
“Yeah…apparently, I’m an open book according to Kokoro. Which is definitely not good for me.” Teruya sighs, leaning over the counter and gripping his knees.
“There is nothing wrong with being open with your feelings, Otori-san. Being able to show sincerity in your emotions helps bridge the gap between other people. That can be helpful in a situation like this as it will keep our group together. Hopefully it may even prevent others from murdering each other.” Mikado reassures and he almost touches his shoulder. But he stops and pulls away before making contact, setting his hand on the counter instead. “Being stoic can be useful against those with ill intent, but makes it harder to befriend people. A skill that helps protect yourself but can leave you quite lonely.”
“Lonely, huh…” Teruya frowns, glancing at his journal. Mikado was staring at it again. “So…I should just keep doing what I’m doing?”
“Personally speaking, yes. Your honesty will develop trust among the participants, even when Ms. Mitsume will try to undermine us with tricks and deceptions. As long as we are strong as a group, there will be less of a chance for everyone to turn against each other.” Mikado clasps his hands together. He seems to be thinking about something. And while Teruya was still uncertain, he appreciated the comfort. Even if it wasn’t a foolproof plan, it was still something he could do.
It was still something he could try.
(No matter how unlikely it was for every individual to listen to the group.)
He silenced his doubts. He had to try and be confident in his choices. For everyone’s sake.
“Anything else you can understand from my notes?” Teruya asked, feeling much calmer than before. Mikado lays his palms flat against the counter, quiet.
“...I don’t know. Two different brains? Resetting and restoring memories? There’s a connection here but I lack the knowledge to understand what it is. And you, a test subject…” Teruya feels another chill go down his spine at the reminder as Mikado slowly raises his gaze towards him. “...I fear we may be in one giant experiment we don’t know the expected results for.”
“...Fuck.” That was all he could say to that. What else can he say? Kokoro was apparently using them as test subjects, and it was a goal none of them had enough information on to know or understand. “I guess all we can do now is figure out how to leave without anyone dying.”
“Yes…” Mikado quietly said. He closes the journal and slides it back to him. “...I’m sorry.” Teruya blinks his eyes in surprise as the wizard gets out of his seat. “For cutting this hang out short, I mean. I must attend the library to research Ms. Mitsume’s motives. While I have a great deal of knowledge, it is more related to magic than anything related to biology or even psychology. Not only that, I will need evidence to back up any conclusion I come to about what her goals are.”
“Ah, that makes sense.” Teruya said, picking up his cup of tea to finish it off. The cup clatters against the plate it rested on. “Good luck investigating. I should probably get back to my room to rest. I’ll see you at dinner then?”
“Of course. I’m sure Ms. Kabuya will cook something wonderful for us all.” Mikado brushes his hands against his pants. Teruya grinned with a glint in his eyes, ready to take the opportunity to tease the wizard for his failed attempt in cooking. But the wizard teleports away in a burst of flames before he could. Which left him all alone.
Teruya frowned.
While he hadn’t gotten to know Mikado all that well and only in a short amount of time, Teruya was pretty certain that he was putting some distance between them. He probably wouldn’t have noticed if the wizard hadn’t come off as so open and friendly with his thoughts from their first meeting. Sure, there were times when he was a bit cagey with his answers, but otherwise he was willing to engage with him in conversations that weren’t completely related to what was going on.
But now, it almost felt like he was purposely avoiding him. Mikado was still helpful in investigations, even prioritizing it above all else, but there was a distance that wasn’t there before.
He sighs before picking up the tea that Mikado had yet to finish. Teruya hoped he didn’t mind drinking the rest as it would be a waste to leave it in the cup.
…Teruya hoped Mikado would allow him to talk with him more. He hadn’t even gotten to thank him for hanging out with him when he was down.
He’ll be sure to do that next time.
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Your relationship rank with Mikado Sannoji has risen from 0 to 1!
Mikado Sannoji’s information has been recorded in the e-Handbook+’s profile page.
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innytoes · 2 years ago
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Sleepy prompts 👀 10 for Reggie/Carrie?
Set in the Nuclear Apocalypse Bunker AU.
After Reggie got better, things with Carrie got better too. Tía Victoria kept him under observation for another week, but she visited every day, bringing him food and talking to him. When it was just the two of them, she was different. Less tightly wound.
Reggie came back to the rest of the bunker and immediately got pulled into a Molina family group hug, and then another one with Luke and Alex (his parents frowning in the background). Even Trevor gave him a part on the back, smiling. Things were kind of weird between them, seeing as how Trevor kind of saved his life but also kind of broke the rules to do so.
So things settled down again. Reggie returned to his chores, returned to cracking jokes with Willie over the comms, returned to doing whatever he could to make himself useful around the bunker. But now, he got to joke and hang out with Carrie as well. And maybe even, you know, hold hands. They were taking things slow, since they literally had all the time in what was left in the world, but it was pretty awesome.
Which was why he was the one who was pulled aside by Julie. "Hey, have you noticed something off about Carrie?" she asked. For a second, he was offended, like 'she's suddenly likes you now' was something weird and off. But now that he thought about it, she had been more and more tired lately. And snappy, but not like before, not just to him. More like she was having trouble keeping it together with everyone.
"She's been kind of tired," he agreed.
"I'm worried about her," Julie said. "And I think someone should talk to her. Someone like her boyfriend."
He flushed. "Oh we... we haven't... it's not... We haven't labeled it yet." Julie gave him a knowing look. She was like the sister he always wanted, he loved her so much. "But yeah, I'll talk to her."
So, after dinner, that's what he did. Trevor was out... schmoozing, or something. He was usually over at the Mercers or the Pattersons or even the Molinas, or holed up in the comms room talking to people in other bunkers. So he could manage to slip into their pod pretty easily without anyone noticing.
Carrie was in her room. He'd never actually been in Carrie's room yet, and he smiled at how she made the sterile place her own, just like she'd made the pretty standard uniform her own. There were sparkly stars made from food packaging stuck to the walls and ceiling, and little paper origami flowers strung up, and all the sad metal railings had been draped with fabric.
Carrie herself was hunched over her desk in a posture Reggie was very familiar with. It was the same one she used to get in math class, before he started tutoring her. Frustrated but trying not to show it.
"Hey babe," he said quietly, and she whirled around, clutching... a science book to her chest? "Whatcha doing?"
"What are you doing here?" she snapped. But Reggie knew better than to be intimidated by that now.
"Just wanted to check in with you," he said, flopping on her bed. She looked like she wanted to say something about him messing up her bedding, but he just smiled at her. "Missed you. You've been holed up in your room after dinner these past few..." Now that he thought about it, almost as long as he'd been better. "Weeks."
"I've been busy," she said.
"Doing science homework?" he asked. They did get lessons, sometimes. A lot of it was improvised, between the adults here and adults from other bunkers when they had time. Music class from The Trevor Wilson kind of was the coolest thing ever. Ray taught them Spanish, Mr and Mrs Patterson taught them all kinds of stuff about history, modern history, politics... basically what lead up to them being stuck here. Like if the understood, they weren't doomed to repeat it.
The Mercers, when they could be torn away from their Top Secret Whatever in the Bunker taught them science-y stuff like chemistry and physics, and Tía Victoria taught them biology and medicine. But this book was way beyond what Victoria was teaching them. "You aiming for an internship with the Mercers?" he asked. If anyone could talk her way into that top secret lab, it was Carrie.
"Oh very funny, Reginald," Carrie snapped, throwing the book at his head. He dodged, flinching. "We both know I'm not fucking smart enough for that." Part of him wanted to run, but then he saw the unshed tears in Carrie's eyes.
"Babe, you're plenty smart," he soothed.
"No I'm not!" Carrie shouted. "When you got sick I didn't understand a word of Victoria's explanation, and I can't do math, and I heard Mrs Mercer tell Mr Mercer that it was a good thing I was pretty and healthy, so I could be a good wife to Alex and have plenty of babies to keep civilization going, because I was never going to be a scientist." She burst into tears, and Reggie gathered her up in a hug.
"I'm just so tired," she sobbed as he stroked her back. "I don't understand it and I keep rereading the same things and I'm just so tired."
"Okay first of all, fuck what the Mercers think," he said. "They've been stuck in here for years and they still haven't realised their son is gay as fuck." Okay maybe they'd all been helping cover up Alex' conversations with Willie, but it wasn't like he was that subtle. "Also, just like, ew. To all of that." Carrie sniffled her face buried against his chest.
"And second of all, who cares if you're not gonna be a scientist? There's more to rebuilding civilization than scientists." Carrie opened her mouth, probably to say something about being a... a broodmare or whatever creepy philosophy the Mercers had. "You know how to talk to any of the adults here, like an equal. You're literally the only one who understands Mr Patterson when he forgets he's not giving a university Philosophy class, or when figuring out what Mrs Patterson means when we're dissecting what went wrong with the world and politics and stuff."
"But that stuff is easy," she said.
"Yeah, to you!" Reggie hugged her close. "Babe, you're not a future scientist. You're like, the future President. You know how to talk to people, and get them to like you, and you know how they tick." He didn't mention that when she used her powers for evil, like when she'd been mad at him, she was pretty devastating as well. He was pretty sure she knew that. "The world doesn't just need scientists. We also need leaders."
Carrie swallowed hard, rubbing at her eyes. "You mean it?"
"Of course," he said. He leaned down and nuzzled his nose against hers. "Besides, I have my hopes set on being First Husband." She laughed, before looking at him. He flushed when he realised the implications of what he just said.
"I think I can work with that," Carrie said, smiling at him. She sat up. "I should... I should make a list. Talk to Emily. See about connecting with all the other bunkers, start forming relationships with..."
"Okay, POTUS," he said, reeling her in and pulling her back onto the bed. "First, you are going to take a nap. You look exhausted, Carebear. The world, or what's left of it, will still be there for you to conquer tomorrow."
For a moment, he thought Carrie was going to argue with him. "Will you stay?" she asked instead.
"For as long as you want me too," he agreed.
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pandorafallz · 2 years ago
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Watcher AU | The Chocolate Incident
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Blink Lily Leese eyed the large cargo box with a slight frown before she checked over the inventory manifold from the checklist to the box with some doubt. Blink was still getting used to this whole new system. Ten years, she spent helping with new avatars; both human and Na’vi variants but a quarantine of the labs forced her away, at least in her avatar while her human body was quarantined.
So she was temporarily reassigned to inventory management until the Watchers could get through to sweeping the labs and the affected habitats before they could end the containment.
This box was not on the list for the Nai’vi food supplies from either of their food chain districts or from more local sources. Clearly a mix up, she’d need to locate its proper designation….
“Blink, what’s this?” A voice bellow her echoed.
Blink looked down from her data pad to see Eclipse Eytukan eyeing the box with some curiosity. Two weeks into his human Avatar, the Na’vi had his struggles understanding what came with a male human body but he was no longer clinging to edges of furniture anymore. Humans adjusted far easily; it was known it’d take the Na��vi a month to get to terms with the new body and lack of their more prominent features.
“A supply box of chocolate,” Blink answered, “Not for our section, I think it was supposed to go to the Worldtree’s underground than this section.”
“Cho…collate?” Eclipse echoed, “What is that?”
“It’s...a sweet human food, made from the coca bean that’s roasted, ground and mixed with other ingredients to create a bite-soft bar.” She described airily. “There are many…different forms of chocolate but this stuff looks to be... milk chocolate, white chocolate and ruby chocolate bars.” No dark chocolate, Blink noted but maybe that was where it was supposed to be with another order. This looked very… put-tether like it was part of rush order.
Eclipse leant forwards, sniffing around it, “It does smell sweet.”
“It’s mostly got sugar in, humans tend to favour with sugar foods so I’m not surprised you’re greatly more appealed to it.” her avatar could pick up the same, delicious smells but… she had work to do.
“Ooh, chocolate!”
“Oh dear…” Blink groaned softly as Flit Nash McCosker scurried over with a happy look over his moustached face.
“Does my nose device me? Is this true!” Flit looked ever so hopeful.
“This isn’t ours,” Blink groaned, but Flit was already opening it.
“It is now. If they wanted this, then they should have checked the barcode before dropping it off. It’s here now. It’s been years since I’ve tasted chocolate!”
“There’s a chocolate supply in the Human sector on the 67ths floor, 17ths and in all the underground habitats.”
Flit paused, “Where?!” He looked positively offended. “I’ve been here 6 months and no one thought to tell me!”
“Well, I do not know human food that well so we cannot know what you want or like, Flit,” Eclipse spoke. “I am unfamiliar with chocolate.”
“God, no wonder you’re so bitter.” Flit shook his head though tossed the lid off the top, “I think it’s time for a proper introduction of this wonderful human delight.”
“Flit…” Blink warned, “I’m not getting into trouble for this.”
“Yes, yes,” Flit waved her off. “So what if one crate got mixed up. I think it’s time we properly have some fun around here.” He pulled out one of the smaller boxed, flipping it open and pulled out the 200g bar of milk chocolate then held it out to Eclipse. “For you.”
Eclipse look a little baffled, “All of it?” but pure curiosity got the better of the former Olo'eyktan as he took it.
“Why not? There’s plenty to go around.”
Other people, not just the humans but some Na’vi avatars perked up when they noticed and hurried to collect. A few Na’vi themselves did approach but Blink decided to leave as the packets opened; she had work to do than baby sit this disregard of supply regulation.
-
Blink sighed with relief as she saw Watcher Grace in her Na’vi form finally make her appearance, rising to her feet immediately to greet her.
“Watcher, please tell me something good? Is the quarantine over?” She felt like begging for it but the tense look in her desaturated blue face said no comfort.
“What the fuck happened to keeping supplies in the right place and reporting a misplaced one, Blink?” Watcher Grace spoke tensely, her tail curling with discontent.
Blink’s ears flattered back in surprise. “I was going to, Flit McCosker got involved. He has a higher clearance level than me so he opened it up and shared it out. I wasn’t in a position to stop him so I left him to it to finish up my reports.” She almost blindly reached for her tablet, holding it out to the displeased Watcher who took it.
Blink wasn’t stupid with her paper work, and she had already sent off the report of the misplaced box, serial code and had traced where it was supposed to end up. This was all done, neatly packed and otherwise sent an hour ago.
“This report if the only thing standing in the way of a disciplinary for you, Blink.”
Blink’s eyes widened in alarm. “What? Why? Did something happen?”
“You didn’t hear?”
“I—No. I’ve been here for the last hour.” Blink could feel the rise of panic in her gut. “Oh, god, Chocolate’s not poisonous to Na’vi biology, is it?” it was the only thing she could think of that would cause a reaction this big to upset the Watchers…
“No exactly.” Water Grace pondered for a moment then nodded towards the door, “Let’s go down to the Na’vi habitats upstairs.”
 -
Walking up the steps, the metal stairs transitioning to root-steps as they breached the Na’vi and avatar sector and that’s where blink stared to see some of the mess.
A few Na’vi lay about, some sitting in makeshift hammocks, giddy with a bucket close by with a healer or a doctor close by. A child was barely walking a straight line, a concerned father tugging a clearly intoxicated mother with him as he tried to keep his child in line with him.
Onwards and upwards, a mixed canteen of human and Na’vi alike was…a total mess. Chocolate and puddles of chocolate were about as well.
“What happened?” Blink asked quietly, her tail wrapping around her own leg with concern at such a dramatic vibe this space had. More to the fact she could see a Grace variant, Overseer if she wasn’t mistaken, passed out and hugging a portable human coffee machine to her chest despite the fact it was far too small for her blue arms and snoring into the counter side.
“Chocolate is not…poisonous but rather it has another effect of Na’vi…and avatar brains.” Watcher Grace spoke, coming to check on Oversee with a prod from her foot. “Turns out, Cocoa is not broken down properly in the Na’vi gut when consumed and the chemical composition changes in response to their stomach acid as a result so to compensate to break it down. Side effect is….it starts to reproduce the effects of alcohol in the system despite not carrying alcohol itself. We’re…still investigating it now but the effects seemed to show Na’vi becoming drunk.”
Blink’s eye followed the little family as they were sat down by a healer though the girl was giggly.
“Drunk? They’re all freaking drunk off Chocolate?!” Blink wanted to laugh at such a ridiculous event, but she knew it was far too serious for at at this time.
“Indeed. If it had been simply contained to the simple supply door then we’d be having a veru different situation.” Watcher Grace ran her hand through her dark locks. “Turns out…chocolate can travel very fast.”
Blink winced but she could see why… chocolate bars were small in Na’vi hands, passed along, split and shared… “How far…”
“Well… from the supply decks, it reached through the civilian habitats of human, Na’vi and Avatars, mostly. A few scouts working in the vehicle hangers down below and a few Ikran riders. A few took a few joy rides in road and flight vehicles, and three fights took place where some people suffered a broken nose and bruises. A fire broke out as well because an unattended child found a flint and steel on a passed out Avatar of Jake and thought it was a sparky toy. He’s fine, but that’s just been put out and now…we have soo….fucking much to clean up. From expelled mess from both ends, spilt box contents and a mess of future, people and vehicles…”
Blink winced with full out sympathy for… well everything. “It took…an hour for all that shit to go down?”
Watcher Grace sucked her teeth for a moment, rubbing her eyes deeply then nodded. “Yep. Suffice to say… we’re not handing chocolate to Na’vi like this again. Despite the mess; they loved it. We’ve got a lot to work and to revise parameters of chocolate possession in the habitats and what’s acceptable for them to consume before it’s a danger. I want you to help me run that test with the Na’vi avatars in the next few days once this mess is cleaned up.”
Blink nodded, “Yes, ma’am” 
“Do not make that mistake again, Blink. That box of chocolate was fucking huge. All of it was gone by the time we found it!” the seething side of Watcher resurfaced but Blink knew it was deserved.
“Of course.” Blink looked down, “I’ll see to it”
“Good, now, which Flit McCosker handed it out?”
“Nash.”
Watcher Grace nodded firmly. “Thank you. Now, go help clean up while I hunt down this asshole for a lecture…and a discipline.”
hehe bc someone wanted to know more about the chocolate incident XD here you are :)
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cazort · 1 year ago
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I have observed this change happening around me and I have resisted it very effectively. Reading this was sort of surreal because clearly, I am more like the older person here. Literally one of the first things I do in my morning routine is to open my blinds, and then when I go downstairs I open all the blinds. I also love hanging out in my yard and talking to neighbors. I know all my neighbors, like I've not only met but actually talked to and spent some time with all of the 10 closest houses surrounding mine. I love when neighbors knock on my door.
And I see other people who operate this other way, mostly younger people, and frankly I find it horrifying. And it's frustrating because it's like these people are refusing to participate in the social fabric and they are so disconnected from it that there are simply no opportunities to even gently introduce them to it.
I was talking to one neighbor here and he said that he loved this neighborhood and that he moved from another neighborhood where people didn't walk around the neighborhood and didn't talk to each other, and he hated it and felt so uncomfortable there and that was a factor in why he sold that house and then bought the house he lives in now.
There is abundant research too showing things like, when neighbors know each other, and talk to each other, it reduces crime, and it also increases people's lifespan. Also, knowing your neighbors are practical. When our washing machine broke mid-cycle and we were left with sopping wet soapy clothes, our next-door neighbor let us use hers to finish the load of wash. Neighbors give us excess food all the time. We contribute compost to our neighbor's compost pile which they use to make soil, and they share produce from their garden with us. I help my neighbors identify plants growing in their yards and gardens, and share seeds and cuttings of native plants I'm growing. My neighbors let me transplant unwanted plants that might be weeds to them but that I want to grow. I get joy out of seeing and playing with my neighbors' dogs when they come by on walks. My block had a picnic in the summer, and one block over there was a block party and I met even more neighbors. Neighbors offer me tools to borrow, and give me help with problems, recommending contractors and telling me how they solved problems in their house when I mention problems we are having with ours.
This is how humans were meant to live. It is utterly terrifying to me that people are stopping being like this and are disconnecting from this basic social fabric. Everything is lost: money, mental health, safety, knowledge, problem-solving ability.
You can easily make a difference in this stuff but the most important thing for you is to prioritize having and building this sense of community. If you try, you will connect with other people in your neighborhood who are also trying. You also can choose to seek out a neighborhood that has the qualities that you want, when choosing where to live. Keep in mind that, because community can influence things like your cost-of-living and mental health, you might come out ahead even if paying more and/or giving up various amenities (such as a bigger house, yard, or various luxuries) in order to live somewhere with a stronger sense of community and stronger relationships between neighbors. You also want to fit into the culture.
I am not really a sports fan but I'm also not offended by people liking sports, so I'm indifferent to having other sports fans in my neighborhood, and you can often see this displayed on people's houses and vehicles. However, I am a serious gardener, and I want to landscape with all native plants, and one thing I sought out about my neighborhood was I wanted to buy a house where other people had food gardens AND there were people who had less or no lawn. And we found this! When our house came for sale we noticed both neighbors had big food gardens, and there were numerous houses in the neighborhood that had minimal areas of lawn and lots of lush trees and perennial beds. It was perfect for us. Within weeks of moving in, I met a number of other people who were into gardening.
Other things are kinda a red flag to me. I obviously don't want to live somewhere where I see a lot of Trump signs or other right-wing signs. I also don't neighborhoods where the lawns look too manicured, especially if everyone has big, wide-open lawns because that is going to mean (a) anal-retentive neighbors who will report me for my lawn looking "weedy" (b) loud landscaping noise to listen to.
Another red flag to me is if everyone has huge high-up vehicles like big SUV's and mega trucks. This signals that people are less environmentally-conscious and may also be less concerned with safety of pedestrians and children, because these vehicles are more likely to hit and kill pedestrians, especially children, in accidents because they are so high up.
You may want totally different things from me, but you can see signs of people who share your interests in your neighborhood. Little library boxes for people who like reading and books? Play sets and toys for people who have young kids? People walking dogs? You can tell something about who lives in a neighborhood and how they might like to connect with each other by just walking around a neighborhood.
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fleatomatosauce · 3 months ago
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It’s Like Vilmr’s Old Ass Character Sheet, But With My Headcanons
The Basics
Full name: Vilmr Från Framtiden Bara Skojar Ludvig Krokatid
Physical
Gender: Demiboy
Pronouns: he/they
Age: 18
Height: 5’7
Birthdate: 7/17/2006
Eye color: blue-gray (without cataracts)
Skin color: peach
Build: small with bros shoulders
Hair color: honey blond
Hair style: shoulder length mullet
Hair texture: somewhat curly. 2B I assume
Markings: self-harm scars on wrists and thighs, earrings (one on each earlobe)
Default expression: SCOWL
Needs: ambulatory human guide/white cane user
Conditions: blindness (high level cataracts)
Health: 80%
Mental
Health: 40%
Conditions: Autism level 1, ADHD (combined type), MDD, GAD, OCD, schizophrenia
Greatest motivation: Either they or others feel content from the outcome, especially if it’s their friends
Greatest fear: Having no support
Asset: Passion
Flaw: gets offended easily
Perceptiveness: 60%
Creativity: 70%
Disciplined: 50%
Intelligence: 60%
Academics: 60%
Strength: 40%
How well do they know themselves?: 50%
Personality
One word to describe him: mjau
Temperament: moody, unimpressed, kinda bored
Confidence: fluctuates. Usually 40%
Arrogance: also fluctuates. Usually: 70%
Saintliness: 50%
Jokiness: 40%
Shamelessness: 60%
Affection: 60%
Aggression: 80%
Intro or extro?: no. AMBIVERT
Flirtiness: 40%
Erraticism: 75%
Dispersal: 80%
Friendliness: 35%
Dependability: 40%
The Details
Interests
Hobbies: reading, writing, tv shows, games, MUSIC
Ideal career path: Sociologist/musician/author
Academic inclination: arts, science, humanities
Traveling?: LOVE
Dating?: like
Partying?: dislike
Reading?: love
Interpersonal
Sexuality: bisexual
Status: taken by Debbie 😈
Close friends: Debbie, Samantha, kinda Michael, Zack
Acquaintances: Ching, Leon, Hannah, Tim, Lauren to name a few
Live family: his parents I guess? Probably has a sibling too. And obviously there’s Maja
Deceased family: idfk his grandpa or some shit
Background
Social class: middle-low
Guardian: Loving and protective
Childhood: neither popular nor unpopular. Marginalized but not bullied.
Trauma: idk? Being mentally ill? First psychotic episode? Going to the ward? I mean there’s also him being an orphan
Over it?: partially
Influential people: Probably a bunch of Minecraft YouTubers, blind influencers, and of course, Maja
Tastes
Genre: action, sci-fi, thriller, horror
Snack: sweet or salty
Coffee: barely drinks it, but when he does it’s with sugar
Favorite food: tater tot hot dish
Favorite color: olive green
Ideal type: funny and chaotic
Impressions
Likability: 50%. Holy shit talk about being incredibly mid
General style: alternative, Y2K, compression lover
Meticulousness: 30%. Get Maja or Samantha to get his shit done! Not disability related, he’s just lazy lmao
Handshake: FIRM AND COLD
Posture: usually really straight. Unlike him.
#autismmoment
Look: it’s like the thousand yard stare but angry
Overall prescience: annoyed probably.
Lifestyle
Career: none yet. Going through vocational rehab
Content: nah
Lives in: town
Residence: it’s like an orphanage but he’s the only resident and he has only one caregiver
Housemates: Maja, his cg
Financial status: I mean, he gets $20 each week for doing chores
Religion: his schizophrenic ass does NOT believe in religion
The extras
Alignment: true neutral
Zodiac: cancer because he’s radioactive
Class: ranger
Favorite weapon: small guns
Exercise: takes walks and josh for around 15 minutes a day
Weekly study: like uh. It’s school only. Does it right before a test and stuff
Preferred humor: surreal, wordplay
Vices: self harm
Type of cry: loud af
Type of laugh: also loud af
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alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year ago
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401 of 2023
Pet Peeves - Guilty or not guilty? pt. 3
People who say "I just say it like it is/I'm the most honest person you'll meet" when it isn't true. People who are just generally assholes. People who pretend to listen to you when actually they just want to talk about themselves. When people kick/tap the chair you're sitting on with their feet. Leaving your shoes on at home. People who walk on their heels. Sneezing or coughing into your hand. Unplugging someone's charger without asking. The constant misuse of the word "literally" when it should be "figuratively". Being highly judgmental of other people. Getting offended easily. When people take casual opinions personally (like hating someone for not liking X show/celeb/etc.). When people are 'too busy' to do their part in group projects. Women with a very gruff voice. People who can't tolerate those with different political views. People who are still friends with their exes. Insisting someone else do/have something despite that person really not wanting it. Driving really slow or really inconsistently on the highway or big road. People using loudspeakers when on the phone in public. Censoring words (example: sucde) when everyone knows what you're trying to say. Leaving the door wide open when leaving a persons bedrooms. Talking to pets and babies in an annoyingly high-pitched voice and making weird sounds that no one can make sense of. Leaving dirty cups/plates in shared living spaces. Being late. People with awful grammar/punctuation who "correct" others' grammar/punctuation online (unsolicited) except their "corrections" are actually completely incorrect. Slow walkers. The sound of someone smacking their food with their mouth open. Folks who send voice messages on Telegram, WhatsApp, you name it. Malapropisms. "Your" instead of "you're" and vice versa. Oversharing personal stuff on social media. People who STARE… like, on public transport or in a grocery store line or whatever. People who have stuffed toys though they're over 20. People who spread out over a sidewalk and walk slowly. People who talk a lot about various topics while eating. Leaving fruit peels on the table or out in the street instead of in a bin or compost.
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moo-nstone · 3 years ago
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 7
gemini and pisces placements are similar in the sense that geminis are able to see things from all perspectives, while pisces are able to empathise with people who have all sorts of different perspectives. pisces placements... be careful with over-empathising with the people who hurt you to the point where you’re understanding why they did it and you start excusing their actions. gemini placements... be careful with seeking the multi-layers and million different perspectives in everything and everyone to the point where you’re driving your own mind insane and you don’t know what your opinion is anymore because you hyper-analyse so much. too much of a good ability becomes a curse.
people with venus-mars aspects have a talent for making people who hate them fall in love with them 💋
moon in the 11th house natives tend to attract friends who get into scandals. moon in the 10th house natives tend to be the ones who get into said scandals. it’s a PERFECT FRIENDSHIP
capricorn placements have a talent for knowing how to make things last. they want to prolong the enjoyment they get out of something for as long as possible, which is why their hobbies, friendships and relationships tend to last a lifetime... hedonistic sluts
since both the 7th house and the 11th house rule fandoms, celebrities with a 7th house or 11th house neptune can attract fans who view them as angels who can’t do nothing wrong — because of this, those celebrities rarely take accountability for their mistakes, since people keep pushing the “but they’re perfect :(“ light on them
pluto conjunct ascendant natives always come off as very serious during first impressions, no matter how approachable and inviting they strive to appear.
sun and moon in the 10th house people may feel as if they’re always exposed to the public eye, they can’t get away with keeping things secretive. others always notice whatever they want kept on the low. this can be especially frustrating if they notice that others aren’t exposed to the same kind of scrutiny that they are for simply existing
lilith in pisces bitches have a natural talent for appearing like angels even in situations where they are 100% guilty. it’s very easy for them to put on their vulnerable, lost puppy act lmfao, which triggers others’ protective instincts. they may be able to cry on cue when people call them out on their bullshit, making them feel like THEY’re the shitty ones for confronting the lilith native... it’s insane
lilith in the 12th house natives may feel as though the themes of lilith are trapped in their psyche, at the core of who they are and those themes become unavoidable for them — they’re always there, lurking in the shadows, becoming the center of their nightmares
people with mercury in the 1st house can feel veryyy threatened and defensive when someone possesses knowledge in an area that they don’t, it’s like it hits them right on their biggest fears. they often either try to “one-up” the other person in an attempt to heal their broken ego or shut down altogether in insecurity. it’s imperative that they work on developing a strong sense of self-worth because they can be extremely prone to comparing their mental skills to those of other people.
people with personal planets in the 12th house may feel as though a lot of their artistic drive is stifled by their lack of energy. like... in the mental realm there’s a lot going on and it’s incredible, but then you pick up a pen to actualize your visions and you feel exhaustion immediately overtaking you. it can feel like there’s a lot to your psyche that feels inaccessible to you not because you don’t want to explore it, but because you have yet to restore the energy to dive deep into it. this can be especially noticeable if there’s absolutely no 5th house energy in the chart
people with jupiter in an earth sign love being surrounded by greeneries in their home; they may take a lot of enjoyment out of taking care of plants, gardening, cooking and stuff of the sort. it makes them feel more grounded, independent, and even healed. they also LOVE scents that connect them to nature like the scent of grass and the ocean.
air mercuries can be very beware of strangers, they can feel offended when their friends make them socialize with someone they don’t know and it can take a hot while before they trust the person enough to lower their defences a bit. they need to know it’s safe before expressing their usual sexy eccentric selves in front of someone new. on the other hand, aries placements can also hate being introduced to new people through their friends but it’s mostly because they’re very territorial over them, and can’t stand the thought that this new person can hurt their friendship in any possible way
meanwhile, it’s probably an earth or leo/sagittarius mercury introducing new friends to the group. they’re so fucking good with people and it shows in how they make people feel welcomed so easily, it’s like they “take” the person in and adopt them into the group. they can’t stand seeing someone being treated like an outcast because they know how it sucks to feel rejected, so they’ll try their best to make you feel included
while on the subject of people who hate seeing others be treated like an outcast because they know how it feels like to be rejected: SCORPIO RISINGS. bro. people underestimate how chill they can actually be. if they see you being left out, they’ll approach you with no fucks given and do anything in their power to make you feel comfortable. they do so well in group settings.
and while on the subject of scorpio risings... i have a scorpio rising friend and he goes thru it on the daily. he often complains that people are always suspicious of him and that they seem repulsed by him, strangers on the street will stay tf away from him. and it’s so heartbreaking because his personality is so friendly and welcoming and it doesn’t at all match his intimidating appearance. scorpio risings have this energy that not many people can handle, others feel either really drawn to them or downright scared of them because of the “danger” element they seem to carry in them
i know two people who are both scorpio suns and libra moons and they look the exact same, even though they have different risings. brown, deep-set eyes, coarse dark hair, naturally tanner skin tone — and they have the same style as well, using lots of band t-shirts and dark clothing. scorpio energy is always so noticeable wherever it is i swear, it’s like it takes over the rest of the chart
gemini moons are what yall claim gemini venuses to be. like, seriously... have you ever met someone with a gemini venus? they don’t need constant stimulation or else they’ll get bored and cheat. not in the slightest; actually, they’re often incredibly loyal and crave longterm, committed relationships. if anything, they need stimulation outside of their relationship in the form of a good, exciting career and hobbies so that they don’t get too addicted to their partner and to constantly analysing every aspect of their relationship. gemini moons however, tend to have multiple partners throughout life and they often feat deep commitment. they can be huge players imo, IT’S THEM YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT!
sagittarius placements are so... tactile? like, they love to touch things. when they go to stores and stuff, they’ll start holding everything that catches their attention— it’s like they can only decide if they want to buy something after thouroughly exploring how it feels, the texture and the energy that the object gives them through touch. and they talk so much with their hands. it makes me so anxious like bitch you aren’t selena gomez, i promise you that you CAN keep your hands to yourself
taurus placements are so weird to me, i can’t understand them. it’s like they’re afraid of exploring their own depths, which in turn makes me unable to explore them. okay, how do i put this... it’s like they have this preset idea of who they are and after deciding so, they’re unwilling to let go of it. “i’m the stable friend who’s here for everyone even when i can barely take care of my own self” and then that’s who they are: the people who are a steady rock in the lives of others, taking care of everyone. and then they refuse to change even after getting hurt. and then, it’s like... well, you can’t just be that. you are a human who contains multitudes, but i don’t think you give yourself enough credit on how layered you are. that fear of changeability, that need to be the one stable thing in a world full of unpredictability will only damage you in the end, because you won’t get to fully experience life’s greatest pleasure: knowing yourself. becoming your own best friend, exploring every layer that there is to your being. i think you deny yourself of that experience because you fear that, with self-learning comes self-growth which leads to transformation. and you fear transformation because you don’t want to change for the worst. but like... transformation is necessary and with that comes adaptability + flexibility, which are things you could greatly benefit from.
scorpio venuses can be so pessimistic— and when they’re in a dark mindset, it’s so difficult to pull them out of it. it’s so difficult to get them to see the good in difficult situations, and to help them believe that it gets better. but even if you don’t believe me, i’ll keep telling you; it does get better. you’ll get through this.
jupiter in the 4th house is an indicator of food having been an amazing part of your childhood; there might’ve been a lot of feasts and you could’ve had a parent who loved to cook. being well fed might be a huge concern for you now; you might get sick easily when you’re eating fast food and non-traditional plates.
mercury square uranus is an extremely difficult aspect to have because, in your earlier years, you might’ve felt dumb or like there was something wrong with your intelligence because you might’ve found school difficult due to it’s structured nature that didn’t fit with the way you like to learn things— you need to learn in an interactive way that piques your interest. your anxiety and any traumatic experienced that you faced could’ve heavily impacted your school performance. you might’ve had an ease with learning but then, when it came to doing the written tests, you couldn’t perform to the best of your abilities. either way, school might’ve been a source of a lot of stress and difficulty.
mercury square pluto can have some weird manifestation where, like... you suspect things but you always suspect the wrong things. i’ve met a few people with this aspect and all of them were extremely suspicious of the most random things who were literally normal and innocent. this aspect can cause a lot of chaos to one’s interpersonal relationships because you might find yourself suspecting your loved ones in the weirdest circumstances due to your trust issues, which in return causes them to lose trust in you + the want to confide in you because you keep questioning everything they’re up to WHEN THEY’RE NOT UP TO ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. probably the most frustrating thing that can happen with this aspect is when you always suspect what you shouldn’t, but then, when sketchy things are actually happening that should be questioned, you don’t bat an eye to it. omfg it drives me insane
moon conjunct the ascendant can make someone have a very delicate appearance that gives others the impression that they need to handle you like fine china or else you might break. my mother has this at a very tight orb and whenever i bring people over, their first impression of her is always “she looks so frail”. the native might be extremely sensitive to every minor inconvenience which brings a lot of frustration to them, a feeling that they can’t control their reactions and inner turmoil. it can also suck when you don’t want to be depicted as the victim but then that’s the way everyone perceives you. the native might have very expressive and shiny eyes, and they can cry easily. it’s very difficult for them to hide their emotions.
your jupiter sign can signify where you feel an overflow of energy. jupiter in cancer may feel like you have an overflow of nurturing and protective energy towards your loved ones, with a lot of intuition and need for introspection. jupiter in leo can make you feel like you a talent for self-expression and dealing with others, being overly dramatic and prideful at times, and with a huge drive to have fun. jupiter in virgo can feel an overflow of perceptive qualities, with a huge amount of self-awareness and also awareness of your surroundings, ability to constantly analyse and a constant strive for perfection (which btw is impossible since perfection is unattainable and you’re a human being who makes mistakes and that’s completely fine. stop finding flaws where there aren’t none).
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yojeongin · 3 years ago
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airbag | n.jm + l.jn
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→ex fwb!na jaemin x reader | boyfriend!lee jeno x reader
genre/au: smut, angst, drama, fwb au, doomed romance
synopsis: growing tired of the life jeno has given you and finally reaching your limit after he once again put her over you; your final resort is to go back to the life he forced you to drop right next to jaemin for one last taste of happiness before your final decision.
warning(s): ADULTS ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! cheating, alcohol, they’re all horrible people except jaemin, praise kink, nipple play, dry humping, fingering, oral, cumplay, creampie, rough sex, tit play, claim kink, cunt slapping, finger sucking, hair pulling kink.
word count: 18.6k | ao3
© 2021 YOJEONGIN all rights reserved — please do not translate, take, nor repost my works on other social media’s. this is my ONLY writing platform.
disclaimer: this is purely fictional; In no way am I condoning this behavior, trying to offend anyone, nor is it meant to place such image on the idol. read at your own discretion.
song(s): airbag— tablo, nobody— mitski, stuck in love— kim kyunghee, temblando— hombres g, el crucifijo — fobia
a/n: heyy I’m back ig >,< i wrote this last year for another group but I rather repost for the neos now with some fixing of stuff.
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It kept buzzing. After hours upon hours, the damned cell phone kept buzzing. Was it not  enough that the day was going both agonizingly slow that he kept asking for favors that in no way were meant to include you? It didn’t help that the fluorescent white lights shining above you kept blinding your gaze, causing you to look down; fidgeting with your cold fingers. 
Your right leg kept on trembling, questioning why your superior had called you into his office right after it was your time to clock out. Not that you complained, the last place you wanted to be at right now is home where you knew things would easily shift between you and Jeno. By the looks of Jeno’s messages, Eunja was at the apartment wanting to feed off whatever you and Jeno had left (in most cases, your energy). It was bad enough that he didn’t do anything when his entire days were free, but when she was there— the essence of spoiled rich kids showed off and only belittled your leftover ego which the two were deflating little by little ever since knowing them.
Sighing at the thought of her being there for another day was only making your chest burn, wanting nothing but to stomp your feet against the spotlessly clean marble floor that decorated the higher floors in the building. Scrunching your face up in annoyance when you felt the buzzing again. Frustration got the best of you, allowing your hand to go inside your slack’s pocket and pulling out the device that even now that you’re holding kept buzzing.
‘y/n bring something to eat pls!!’ ‘can you pass by and get us some soda, we finished it already’ ‘baby!!! are you almost here? we’re hungry!’ ‘ja wants fries from ralphie’s bring her some’ ‘omfg weren’t you supposed to get out now?!’ ‘aish okay, take your time we found some of your sweet bread’
It hadn’t been a week that you had gone grocery shopping and most of the food was already gone. On top of that, it was always the same routine of them asking you to bring them food when they knew you were done with doing so. It has been years since you tried to be liked by the two. Even if Jeno was your boyfriend, things weren’t quite the same. Nonetheless, the least he could’ve done was add a please to everything he ordered. It was exactly that: an order and not a question. 
As if your sole life purpose was to become their damn Ubereats whenever they called for you without any sort of tip or charge for delivery. In fact, they didn’t even pay for the food! You were worse than an Ubereats driver, at least they were granted an adequate pay compared to the free labor that would only grant you an: ‘Oh… but the Ralphie’s near here isn’t good. I guess your salary isn't cut to go to a farther one.’ To be followed by Jeno ignoring the entire scene to avoid conflict.
“Ms. y/l/n? Please come in.” At the sweet sound of your superior’s secretary’s voice; your head jolted up, looking at her before returning the smile and leaving your previous spot. Nodding in response after standing up to follow her, you kept your phone at hand, rushing to turn on the ‘do not disturb’ feature— just to get rid of Jeno for a few more minutes.
To be exact the waiting room did seem fairly far from the Superior’s office. Having to go through cubicles of stressed salary workers that analyze the mistakes they had made on the blueprints. Just to avoid being screamed at by the superior himself. It didn’t help that they all kept staring at you and Adina while you passed by, their stares making you fear that maybe, just maybe, this was the end of your easily given career.
You couldn’t say you weren’t scared of the superior. Of course you were, he was your ultimate boss after all, but never to the extent and distress these people were facing. Even if you had to visit him often whenever your floor manager deemed your blueprints and propositions adequate. So, was he that bad?
Her knuckles fell gracefully against the dark wooden door. It wasn’t closed, only slightly agape, enough to know you were going inside even without his words. His confirmation was still valid, therefore once his low husky voice told Adina and you to come in, she pushed the door further open. Signaling with her hand to go inside as her other hand held the handle to the door, closing it behind you. Leaving the both alone.
“Have a seat, y/n.” It was rather lifeless, he kept on looking through files and signing the ones highlighted in yellow. Writing down words you couldn’t see from your position. It didn’t take long until he placed his pen down and looked up at you with a blank expression. Out of custom, you broke a small smile, tight-lipped which only grew when he reciprocated the smile.
A sigh left his nostrils, back against the chair, and fingers intertwining. “You seem a bit tense… don’t worry, it's nothing bad.” Sure enough, it eased you, but even those words could have a different meaning for him than to you. 
“Jungwan was speaking rather highly of your most recent Blueprint. The plan for the new mall—“ He could tell that made you feel better about being in his office. Your shoulders relax as you try to hide your ever-growing smile. “It’s a very interesting piece that will definitely get you recognized across the entire country, y/n. I do have to say that, but—“
‘But’ a but was never good in this field…
“Wouldn’t you want your work to be recognized internationally as well?” There it was: the hook to his essay. A horrible hook but it created anticipation for those already nervously intrigued.
You didn’t think about it. Of course, you wanted to be known internationally, summer had turned five years since you started working at that company. Was it not for Jeno’s father’s recommendation, you probably wouldn’t be there so easily straight out of college. 
Many of your former classmates still struggled to maintain a job or even find one in their respective fields. So upon hearing your superior’s catching words, you felt the joy rush through you. “I’d very much like that.” Your smile was wide now, cheeks threatening to heat up from the stretched and aching face muscles if he kept on throwing compliments and interesting questions like this, your way.
Chuckling at your childish look, he nodded. “As you’ve probably heard, our company has begun a partnership with ‘FR-EE” You zoned out what had followed. Of course, you heard about it, that’s all your coworkers talked about lately. Despite many not seeing the purpose of working with a Latin American company, they also believed it would be a great start to their recognition— recognition that they craved after being in this firm for more time than you have. 
Was it not for your time spent on working with your Mall blueprints, perhaps you would’ve worked something out to offer your superior now that he was right in front of you.
“So?” “Huh?”
God, you idiot. 
Blinking at your first mistake, you shifted on the edge of your seat, trying to recollect what you did hear. “A-are you offering me to consider the project?” You question trying to make him rehearse his words again without really asking him.
“I’m offering you to be the head of the project. I know you’re skilled when it comes to your knowledge of Spanish and your work speaks for itself when it comes to talent. FR-EE themselves are very unique with their work and after sending them your portfolio— you’re a very strong candidate… actually, they want you, specifically.” 
His fingers had stopped holding each other. Instead, his hands flayed in the air as he kept talking about the project. You adored his words, they sounded so beautiful but at the same time so unrealistic.
Hell, making a blueprint for this new project could take months to a year and from what you heard, they needed the architect sent off already. You didn’t even have a plan or idea for this and the construction of the mall would start in less than a month. It was your project, your baby— you wanted to be there for it, not do something you weren’t quite passionate about.
“It sounds very promising, it does. I just don’t see why me specifically. The construction of the mall starts very soon and it is my first major project… I want to be here for it.” His smile dropped, it became a slanted grimace. “I understand it’s the start of it all, but wouldn’t it be better to have two starts?” 
Leaning against his desk now, his eyes didn’t leave your face. “I like you, y/n… I do. You’ve been a great employee, always listening to criticism well, owning up to your mistakes, getting along well with other workers, and Mr. Lee’s recommendation seems to be the cherry on top.” 
There it was. He acknowledges your effort in the office but not your struggles to get where you are now. Sure, Mr. Lee’s recommendation was held to a high standard given he’s in the top five richest men of the country but he’s also a supporter of the arts. Donating and investing in this firm specifically for most of the projects. If you didn’t know better, this man or anyone in this office could be sucking up to you as they know you’re openly dating Jeno. The man’s only child.
Of course, it didn’t mean everyone was like that. You’d have a few people hating you for it, believing you were truly undeserving of everything you got, especially the evident privileges. Some who’ve been here longer, hating the idea of you getting big projects with only five years of working there. Those who already had a plan for this project would only feel more defeated knowing their Superior was trying to give such a project to someone who didn’t even try to work on it nor cared for it.
“I don’t even have a plan or blueprint for it. I’ve been so focused on the mall that I didn’t dare consider this one. I don’t even have a working visa for it… Wouldn’t it be better to offer this to someone who is prepared?” Eyebrows kneaded, you looked at him, worried about what he’d say. You were trying to reject his offer the easiest and nicest way possible. 
Sometimes rushing into power and recognition didn’t end well.
He nodded allowing more of his sighs to leave through his nostrils, sun-kissed tanned skin shining with natural oils. “Think about, please.” His eyebrows rose, looking at you in hopes that you would. “Think about it very well and let me know by next week so I can have FR-EE make the visa application on your behalf and have it ready in a month. Does that sound good?” You couldn’t do anything but nod, holding onto your sweater for self-comfort.
Standing from the stiff chair in which you only sat on the corner of, you walked to the door. Were you really going to consider it? You didn’t even want this but his words were either pushy or just very persuasive. 
“Before you leave, make sure to send me a digital blueprint copy of the mall. I’ll make sure you’re still in charge in case you do decide to take my offer.” Turning to look at him, you nod at his words, turning the handle to open the door. “Yes, sir.”
Upon entering the heavy steel doors of the elevator, you cornered yourself by the buttons, rushing to press the closing doors button so you could stand in distress on your own. But the damned doors decided to punish you for being an entitled brat whose path has been easy so far and your only struggle is creatively.
 “Wait, wait!” God, no— these doors couldn’t take their time any longer. Just as they began to shut, the squeaky clean black shoe came in between the doors. That ever so unforgettable chuckle made you shut your eyes, squeezing them until you hoped tears would spill.
“Were you trying to leave me out?” He was joking, his smile wide as he spoke to you. “Hey, Jaemin...'' Turning to look at him didn’t help you in trying to avoid him. “Uhh, no… I just didn’t see you coming this way.” He nodded, understanding what you meant. Standing straight beside you in joy compared to your moping slouching body, he couldn’t help but question what was wrong. Even his facial expression changed to one of worry.
Shifting to face you, your body barely standing on its own, his lips parted. “Did something happen?” You turned to look at him. You didn’t respond despite your words pushing against your lips to let them out. You opted to shake your head, straightening your body just to get him off your case.
“No, just a bit exhausted.” You smiled kindly to which he returned. “I imagine. Your building is going to start construction soon, how are you feeling?” His hands clung to the briefcase in his hands. He was only a paid intern who helped fix minor problems in the rough drafts and mainly worked as the coffee boy for your floor but he ported himself with pride. After all, the poor boy struggled to at least get that position after graduation. Not even, it took him multiple part-time jobs at food joints and local stores until just a year and a half to settle a job in the firm.
“Ah, I see… Perhaps you’d want to get some dinner? I’m off already, so?” He was so sweet. So tooth-achingly sweet and you hated it. Why did he always have to be like this? Even in college, he’d make you sick with it. 
Giggling at his proposition, you shook your head looking at your feet. “That’d be nice but I have to send a digital copy of my blueprints to the big man and Jeno keeps pestering me to get home already so he probably wants something.” Your slanted smile didn’t satisfy him. He knew you weren’t looking forward to it but of course, he had no right to stop you.
Tight-lipped smile, he nodded bouncing on his heels. “Understandable, let me know if you change your mind though.” Smiling at you again, cocking his head to the side with perfect timing as the elevator dinged, opening the doors to your floor. Waving goodbye to him, you stepped out without a clue that he’d continue the chain of moping in the elevator, head clinging to the steel interior.
Even after years he couldn’t learn how to erase all that happened.
No one paid further attention to you; working on some paperwork and models to propose a better arrangement for a park. Going to your cubicle, the sight of the rolled-up prints your cubicle partner had worked on for the past four months began haunting you. This is what you were thinking about when your superior offered you to be the head of the FR-EE project. A project you didn’t know what it was about.
The countless hours Geunhye had spent on this print, going often to Mr. Kim, your floor manager, so he could give her feedback on something you assumed he already knew would be yours. Your body involuntarily dragged itself to them, fingers gracing the delicate paper. Was it not for the clanking of heels coming near your cubicle, you would’ve unraveled the magnificence your partner often creates.
“Oh great, he let you out already? What did he want to talk about?” A smile settled on her face, pushing her rolling chair to the side just to grab her prints and unroll them in front of you. It was what you expected: magnificence. Where would all that work go if you accepted your superior’s proposition? To hell, just like you would.
“Nothing major, just wants a digital copy of the blueprints.” Your voice was so down that she obviously could tell something was up, but given that your computer kept buzzing as iMessages was connected to it, she could only expect it was Jeno draining the life out of you. 
“Ah… you’re off already, right?” You nodded, having her watch over your shoulder as you muted the computer and even turned on ‘do not disturb’ just so Jeno could shut up. “Yeah, wanted something?” You asked, locating your files of blueprints before finding the one for the mall.
Geunhye shook her head as if you were looking at her, “No, just wondering… did he say anything about who’s getting the promotion? You know working for the firm in Mexico?” Her smile rose again, you didn’t see it but you could imagine it through the way she spoke, she was ecstatic about it.
Swiveling in your seat to face her, you looked at her features. Smile staying on her face, waiting for your answer. “No, not really. He was just trying to get it over with. You know, a man of few words.” She nodded on her way to look at her prints. He wasn’t a man of few words, at least not with you, but you weren’t trying to brag about the situation to someone who wants what is being handed to you.
Turning back to your desk, you made a few last clicks to mail the prints to your superior. Letting a sigh silently leave your lips, you shut off all your devices, shoving them to your bag before pushing yourself off the seat to give out a simple ‘See you tomorrow.’ for Geunhye and speed walk to the elevator, hoping this time you could mope on your own.
From that point on forward, things went monotonously smooth. You began running the errands you told yourself you wouldn’t run for the sake of Jeno and Eunja, but here you were drowning their voices from your head with the blasting music on your Bluetooth. Driving from place to place just to get what they wanted. Yes, you complained but in the end, it was kind of clear who held all the strings here. At least to avoid conflict.
The city flashed by in scenes as you drove looking forward to singing in your head from time to time, adoring most when you held no thoughts. Those were the small moments in life that you never took for granted. They worked as your relaxation time and the only time you could fully have to yourself. 
So whenever the familiar buildings kept piling up one by one, the clenching of your chest only tightened up on the daily. Feeling as if one of these days you’d completely come to your limit. Never did it ease until you fell asleep and only grew whenever your car was inside the building’s parking garage.
Flickering bright white lights that resembled the ones in your workplace along with the silence that rather than eased you, only made the pain grow. You hadn’t gotten out of the car after finding a spot.Going home had become dreadful and it was something you were extremely loathing as of now. 
Hands clutching the steering wheel, looking ahead, and feet planted on the floor of your car— a fit broke loose. Abnormal noises that you only let out when upset were being voiced. Your feet instead of planted were slamming against the poor floor below them and your hands at most grasped your hair wishing to rip it out.
You truly did hate coming home. You hated seeing Jeno. You hated Eunja. You hated how messy the apartment was. You hated how loud it was. You hated the apartment. You hated them. You hated yourself.
If you hadn’t learned from previous experiences, by seeing the bags of minimum groceries— a groan escaped your lips knowing very well Jeno wouldn’t even dare take the elevator downstairs just to help you with the groceries. Pulling your metaphorically tough-girl panties up, you got out of the car and walked to the back to open the trunk. Was it not for the reusable bags in which you threw in most of the stuff without a care if they’d go up damaged, you would’ve struggled more than you already are. Besides, more than one trip would’ve gone at hand.
“Fucking hate them…” you whined to yourself the moment the first strap clung onto your forearm, feeling how heavy it was for no damn reason when all you were carrying were some stuff the two idiots upstairs had asked for. With the last bag in hand, pushing the button that automatically shuts the back door for you, and keys at hand to lock the car— you trudged inside the building. Ignoring the gray concrete of the garage and walking towards the glass room that separates the building and outdoors; seeing the change of location but not feeling. 
All just as gloomy and dry.
For some reason, the lights inside the building were much brighter, almost similar to the ones at a hospital. The ones that blind you until you’re tired of them and either decide to leave the building or force yourself to ignore them and go on with your day as if they weren’t a bother… ironically.
The silence was overwhelming, not pleasant. You could feel the vibration of your feet against the carpeted hallway as you took the path towards the elevator. Jisung, the concierge, wasn't at his desk like usual. Perhaps his shift hadn’t started yet but despite that, you always seemed to miss his welcoming smile and words. 
It became a custom at this point that he out of many people you met, was one to always comfort you with simple gestures. He was still in college and the boy was bright about his future, even when he handed you the mail and you peeked at his desk to look at his difficult work, he never found it to be a drag. Maybe if he was at his desk right now, he'd offer to help you with the bags to your apartment, but in the meantime, you have no choice but to fend for yourself.
Unlike the Divine Comedy in terms of Inferno, your hell rose rather than descending. As Dante had fallen from layer to layer seeing the worst; you ascended floor by floor. Feeling worse and worse. The gravitational contrast from the elevator going up working as the factor of discomfort like Dante’s was the fall. Fortunately, the ride up felt long and so did the walk down the corridor to your apartment door. Nonetheless the pretentious comparison stands.
Hesitance was only present the moment you came face to face with the black door in front of you. It was obvious what you would walk into and that small part of you that still cared for Jeno was only going to keep getting hurt. 
Not even the ruckus of the television that was easily heard outside the flat was helping you try to form any other wholesome ideas of what was on the other side. Either way, you couldn’t stay out there for much longer, the burning scraping of the straps against your arms was causing harm and you couldn’t keep adding any more pain.
Fingertips forcefully pushing against the number pad to unlock the apartment, a defeated sigh left your lips the moment you saw how in shambles the living room and diner area were. Even the kitchen was a disgusting mess and the protruding smell of takeout was filling the whole section.
It didn’t help that when you opened the door, Eunja sat straddling Jeno’s chest and his hands rested on her exposed thighs. Only the flimsy cotton underwear she wore was separating their contact. Not even in your own home could you expect them to keep it a secret.
No, it doesn’t matter at this point.
Eunja didn’t bother getting off of him when the two heard you shut the door behind you. At this point, it was so common for you to find the two in this situation that she had given up trying to act like they hadn’t done anything (the smell of takeout wasn’t the only thing lingering). Jeno on the other hand, pushed her off of him, trying to stand from his position. Not noticing how nonchalant you had just turned your back to them to properly lock the door, having the hallway light barely shine on you.
“Hey!“ “Hey…” your soft and elongated greeting as he came to you.
 “Did you cook anything?” You questioned turning to look at him this time as the smell of something burnt added to the stench of takeout. It was weird; lately, he had been nicer to you. Not that he already wasn’t but maybe the guilt only grew by the minute and this month he was getting overwhelmed by it. He shook his head with a tight-lipped smile trying to ignore the burnt cake in the trash can that the two tried to bake but failed extremely miserably. 
Walking closer to you and taking the bags from your noticeable aching arms. “Thank you…” You whispered, placing your workload on the kitchen bar to rub at the marks done by the straps. “No, we’re going to order pizza instead.” He comments, watching you scowl at the choice of consumption.
From the background you heard Eunja scoff at your expression, sitting up from her position on the couch and walking to the high chairs in front of the bar where you left your items. “What do you prefer to eat, princess?” Her knees kept bumping against the wall, her face came in contact with the palm of her hand as she watched you and Jeno put away the things they asked for. “Perhaps a better meal… We've eaten nothing but takeout food.” You answered looking at her with the same look of disgust she held for you.
Eunja groaned, head tilting to pout at Jeno who didn’t give her a response of solidarity. “It’s not our fault that we don’t put on weight as easily by eating this way. We’ll get you something from the healthy section or something, okay?” She had obtained what she wanted: to cause frustration inside of you, causing you to turn and glare at her.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“What do you think it means, architect?”
Defiance laced in both of your tongues, glares straight forward as you both pierced each other. Jeno to avoid the conflict behind him as the two of you began your daily bickering continued putting away the groceries you had bought for them. Was he guilty in a way? Yes. 
He knew how tired of him you had grown but still, you were there getting things for him and Eunja even when the two of you were full-on bickering ready to kill each other. Knowing how bored you were growing and how easy life was with you, he had to find a way to keep you with him regardless.
“Why are you even worrying about me? Worry about your trust funds or lack thereof?!” You growled at Eunja as she had risen from her seat, walking closer to you angered at how you had just called out the tip of her personal problems out of spite. Gasping at your response, the redness of her face was now glowing. “Jeno, say something!” She whined, turning to the man whose head was now hanging low in hatred of how easily she had involved him, wanting nothing but to just put away the groceries. Rolling your eyes was all you could do now that she was bringing him in.
Jeno didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t even want to be in this situation but he was always dragged into it and with trying to keep you with him as long as he could, it also didn’t help that he didn’t want to upset his best friend. 
So what would he do? Of course like the idiot he is, he took longevity over intimacy, looking at you with puppy eyes hoping you’d fall submissive to him like you once used to.
Scowling at his actions, with your phone at hand and confused as to what he wanted. “The fuck are you looking at?” You questioned, arms crossed over your chest, not letting the expression fall from your face. With a sigh, he took your hand into his, pleading in silence to just drop it as if it was your fault it all started.
“Just please drop it… Order anything you want, I’ll pay for you but just don’t keep on—”
“Keep on what?!”
It was so obvious what he wanted to say. He was blaming you for this just because she whined like the five-year-old he used to know so long ago but now you were all adults and it seems neither he or she understood that.
“y/n-ie…” He wanted to whine too, throw a tantrum, or whatever but what he did know is that things were rather peaceful without you there. “Just don’t continue arguing, It’s not going anywhere and it doesn’t look good on you.” His lips pouted as if what he just had said was the correct thing to say.
Looking between the two as Eunja grinned and Jeno pleadingly looked at you, you shook your hand, letting his hand drop from your own. It was always the same damn shit with them. No matter how wrong one of them could be, they’ll always have each other's backs and how things have gone today apart from your boss’ offer, you weren’t going to stand for it.
Shaking your head at the two of them with a smile and laugh leaving your lips, you took your purse from the bar. Said action was causing panic inside of Jeno, questioning where it had gone wrong to cause you to grab your stuff. “Not even in my damn house can I have a second of peace.” 
As long as you were only storming into the mess of a room you both shared, he was fine. It wasn’t until he saw you going to the door and sliding into the most comfortable shoes you had at the front of your home that he began chasing you around like a lost puppy.
“No, wait! Where are you going?!” Distress laced Jeno’s voice, following behind you, watching all your actions. “You’re both so fucking infuriating and exhausting. I literally can’t bear being near either of you..” foot sliding inside the shoe as you pulled your phone out of your pocket. “And I don’t plan on dealing with you two tonight.” Dialing the number you knew too well after all this time, you placed your phone against your ear and cheek hoping the other line would open quickly. 
Walking around the front door, your shoulder knocked into his— leaving the lingering pain on you and him. To avoid apologizing as you weren’t really sorry, your eyes only glared into his, making him become smaller in his spot.
Jeno didn’t try to hold you off, he just watched you walk outside the apartment with loose-fitting flats and your purse strap resting against the aching arm he didn’t try to aid earlier to which he aided his aching shoulder instead.
The stomping of your flat cladded feet against the carpeted halls was annoying you, rushing to put them on properly to which you failed to make them comfortable so all you could feel was the elastic clinging onto your ankles.
To say the least, you weren’t wrong about Jeno and Eunja being exhausting. To an extent, you could tolerate them but it was coming to the point in which you couldn’t handle being around them anymore. They repulsed you and this small discussion, though it might seem like it wasn’t pleasant, was a god-given gift knowing you could be away from them again.
Home wasn’t home anymore.
“Hello?”
The ringing on the other line had stopped, allowing you to feel at ease; stopping in your tracks before reaching the elevator. “Jaem? Are you busy right now?” Your voice was soft and meek, lifting your left arm to where the strap of your purse could uncomfortably be arranged against your shoulder. Continuing your walk to the elevator, it had just dinged signaling the opening of the steel doors before you.
Jaemin on the other line cleared his throat, looking around his place in hopes you would ask to meet up. “Uhh… no, not at all. Is something up?” He waited for your response, the static silence of the elevator and the dinging. He wasn’t sure if you were leaving your building or already in his and going up the stairs to his apartment but that was a far fetched idea. 
You haven’t been in his apartment complex since a little after you started dating Jeno, doubtfully you would remember what floor let alone which apartment number and combination it was.
“You still up for dinner?”
A chuckle. That’s what left your lips as you lifted your head to see if the front desk was occupied. It was; Jisung was sitting there with a wide smile upon hearing your voice. Was it not for the call he would’ve spoken loudly but instead he smiled and waved at you as you left for the garage.
Smiling to himself, Jaemin bit his thumb in a sort of excitement. “Yeah, totally. Where do you want to meet?”“Your place.”
It felt static, the silence flooding his home with only the sound of cars driving by. “That’s okay, right?...” Stuttering worry in your voice caused him to break out of it. Nodding as if you could see him. “Yeah! Yeah, that’s fine… I’ll order some take out.” Gulping down his embarrassment, he could still faintly hear your giggle whilst you opened the door to your car, hopping into it with only one place in mind. 
“I hope you have some alcohol at hand, I’d hate for you to get something greasy and not even treat me to a cold beer.” The ambient was obviously thick. You two knew that already.
“Calm down, Ai. I have enough drinks for us.”
He didn’t want to say it, in fact it came out naturally. Natural as in the ghost of the past had taken over his speaking and muttered the word.
He shouldn’t have called you ‘Ai’ not after how bitter the last time he said it sounded. Looking down at his feet he could only come to the conclusion that he had gotten carried away. Perhaps saying the word was reassuring him of the stiff silence.
“I’m not too far. Same pin, right? 0705?” Your brilliant memory made up for your disregard of the nickname. He didn’t want to admit it but it actually felt painful having you ignore something that once meant quite a lot.
Clearly, many unresolved issues were still on the surface.
In order to hide his thoughts, Jaemin chuckled letting you know it was right. “Yep! Guess I need to stop undermining you. I’ll let you go, I have to order the food.” He didn’t even let you mutter goodbye. In fact Jaemin was already feeling some heaviness weighing him down with just talking to you longer than those quick coffee and copy run-ins at the firm where all you two could say was a quick hello and ask how each other’s day was going. 
To be quite honest— there was so much you two haven’t known since graduation. You two are practically strangers once again.
You couldn’t deny your thoughts were eating you up even more. Why would he even think calling you that once again was okay? What had gone through his head to think he could just bring it up again? Despite you going to his place again many years later, you couldn’t stop feeling guilty— as if you were betraying Jeno. Fuck, you even argued over takeout and now you’re going to eat it with someone Jeno can’t stand to see.
The hues of the sky were getting darker by the minute and the street lights were turning on, making the traffic lights seem more brighter than they just were. The bright red turned into the neon green, directing you towards his apartment building. Quite honestly you were surprised he still hasn't moved out. From what you remember it wasn’t big enough, he had to move around a lot just to walk from the bed to the kitchen in the tiny studio.
A part of you wanted him to say “Oh, it’s a new building.” But that same selfish part that was driving you towards the building in hopes to at least have comfort in him, was glad that he didn’t tell you those words. There was a sense of peace to know he hadn’t moved out and his pin number was still the date you two met on. Even if it meant that he was clinging onto empty air.
Taking a last right onto the parking lot in front of the building, you didn’t find it difficult to get a parking spot. After all, most of the people who stayed in this building were students, elderly, and those with part-time jobs, making it difficult to afford a car— let alone fill the spots. Naturally though, a few cars would be spread around to fill in some gaps. At least you were lucky enough to fill the one next to his.
Looking back to grab your purse, seeing Jeno’s sweater caused something to spark in you. Whether it was guilt or fear, you couldn’t pin it. It’s not like you were going to do anything with Jaemin. It was only a friendly dinner with an old friend that you lost because of— because of Jeno.
That was enough to set you off. The guilt that rummaged your chest was now filled with anger you felt against him. You could just imagine him shrugging after you left and going back to Eunja straddling him, as if there was nothing wrong with it. With a huff, you took the sweater, throwing it to the floor. Hoping a demon from under the passenger’s seat would swallow the sins that sweater held.
Clutching the strap of your purse, you opened the door, getting out of the car in a rush that you couldn’t quite explain. The cars kept driving by, not allowing the crosswalk light to turn green. Sure it didn’t work that way but something in your chest made it all seem like that. 
In the moment you swore that the feeling of desperation and greed was to catch up with Jaemin but thinking about it now, it was obvious you missed him and his comfort. There was a safe haven when you were with him, something that not even Jeno could ever fill.
Your steps were heavy the moment the light turned green, speed walking towards the entrance of the building and rushing up the stairs. Some type of regret did come the moment you easily became exhausted when going up. You still cursed him for not choosing a building with an elevator, but after all it was an older building.
“God, why doesn’t he just move…” Uttering to yourself as you took a hold of the railing, fearing that you’ll fall back if you don’t grab it this time. The walk was tiring, only he would want to live on the fourth floor but considering the time he rented it out, it was fairly cheap given that no one wanted to live up there and struggle with furniture. Once again all he had was his mattress and clothes. Thinking about it now… Was it really worth moving into the big city, Jaemin?
You wanted to knock, you wanted your knuckles to vibrate against the wooden door or even ring the doorbell next to your head but the familiar feeling that you had buried so long ago was rising from the dead. Pushing away all you felt as you looked at the pin pad, your fingers not even hesitating when punching in the numbers, feeling the familiar bump of the keys against your pads.
Upon hearing the click of the door and the little red dot turn green, despite your eyesight focused on your feet, the familiar rumbling chuckle welcomed you in. Causing your head to lift itself up, firstly noticing the warming smile.
“Welcome home, Ai.”
“Sorry the food isn’t here yet, I ordered some fried chicken since you wanted beer and well… go on, sit down.” He was smiling widely for your liking. Perhaps all this time you thought the guilt was from coming here after fighting with Jeno and knowing he didn’t want you here ever again but to be completely honest, it was the guilt of bitterly kicking Jaemin around the curb like the unwanted puppy he was at the time. He still had his boyish charm and… it wasn’t good.
Regaining composure, you shook your head while you took off your shoes at the front of his door. Was it not because you saw those familiar butterfly slippers he had gotten you the night you had stepped on a mud puddle a night after drinking— you would’ve gone bare foot. 
Jaemin seemed to have noticed your disdain for the slippers, smiling at you when you turned to face him. He could’ve said something, an excuse as to why he hadn’t thrown them out after years, but here he was warmly smiling at you as he walked to the fridge, pulling out two cans of beer.
“Your place looks bigger than last time I saw it, did you do something?” You question upon sliding the slippers on, feeling the softness of the material. Jaemin nodded as he handed you your can, walking towards the small couch against the wall next to the kitchen. “Decluttered. I figured I would get rid of the dinner table and just get a coffee table.” Yeah, that was it, but something else was missing.
Looking around as you set your can on a coaster he had laying around, your eyes began searching for what he was missing. Upon analyzing, the posters he had on his walls were gone. His books as well and that’s when the small shelf you three had built up was missing, even the butterfly figurines he collected were gone.
“You got rid of your mattress, huh? What? Cum stains ruined it?” You were only joking, you couldn’t bring yourself to question why he had gotten rid of them. Reminiscing on your past words, you’d hate to think it was because of you. It honestly would ruin you if you were the reason he lost track of his own folktales.
Jaemin laughed, covering his face in embarrassment. “It’s not like that!” He’d try to defend. “Oh come on, after everything and your thing for creampi—” You had to catch yourself. You haven’t been here for less than ten minutes and you were already ruining it all.
“Sorry…”
He couldn’t understand you. One moment you were playing along, teasing him for his kinks, and the next a sudden despondence filled you when talking about the past. Perhaps that was it, the past you had with him was nothing but bitter now and he knew it. Your short answers when at work and your demeanor now— you had to feel some type of way towards him to feel some obvious guilt.
Jaemin couldn’t be more thankful for the doorbell ringing. If it hadn’t caused a distraction, he would probably end up telling you that he got rid of it because it smelt of you and he didn’t want to hurt anymore but here you were once again, nearly six years later. Intoxicating his living space once again with the what if of never having introduced you to Jeno.
“Thank you.” His voice boomed in your ears, something about Jaemin kept you there even after embarrassing yourself like this. On your way here and to these minutes of awkwardness, the clock had hit seven and it only kept going by faster.
Seeing him take in the plastic bags of food, you felt it was natural to help him. Standing from your position on the couch, you walked closer to him, taking the bag of side dishes. “Excited about the mall?” Jaemin asks, pulling the coffee table closer to the sofa so neither of you would have to crouch to get food.
His mention of the mall didn’t quite help your situation. Remembering how the mentions of being handed a project was making the ache in your chest twist. “Actually, I still don’t know if I’ll be there for the construction…” God, would this night get any more sad?
Jaemin’s eyebrows knitted hearing you, rummaging through the bags and finding the utensils. Taking out a box of spicy honey glazed chicken, he picked at a small piece before handing you the box. “Why?”
All he could do was look pretty and eat while asking questions.
“The big man offered me that job in Mexico… he said the company wants me specifically but I just think he’s using me as an excuse to make Mr. Lee spend more money on the firm and their projects.”
“You got that right.” He scoffed, taking a pickled radish and stuffing it into his mouth once he felt the heat of the spice, causing you to grimace knowing that was karma for his words. “Hey! Don’t agree with me!” Shoving his arm lightly, he laughed at your actions and words.
“Come on, think about it. Every time I see him talk with you he’s smiling so hard that he might pull a muscle. He also mentions Mr. Lee from time to time. Either he wants the money by buttering you up or something else, hell he might want Mr. Lee for something else.” With a wink you laughed at his stupid joke. Either or could be but you settled for the money. There’s no way you could see yourself with that man.
Picking at the same box of chicken he had handed you, you placed the small piece in your mouth before turning to look at him. He was looking through the sides, making sure his order was the way he wanted. It’s not like he would call and complain, he was a coward after all. 
“Have you considered it though? I do think it would look good for you to start working on international projects right after one at home. Just think about it! Top Young Architects— No! Hot Architects under 30!”
You laughed at him that night, missing his jokes and the entertainment in your life. Though he tried convincing himself to be jealous of your quick success, he only found himself proud of what you were doing. He wanted to be mad at you, he wanted to hate you after that night but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Not when he felt like he did right now.
“Before I left he sent me an email talking about how I could take someone with me, if I do go— Would you go with me?” That was a dangerous question. You knew it was dangerous and so did he. Even if you knew the answer there was no way; Jaemin wouldn’t try to mask what he felt.
Laughing as he shook his head, Jaemin took a piece of the chicken from the box you held. “I’m an intern, y/n. Choose someone who’s an actual architect.” His arm was resting on the head of the couch, almost wrapping around your shoulders if he’d want to. “You are a real architect… If anyone then I want you there with me.” 
Why did you have to be such a brat at all times! The way he turned his head to face you, his eyes dark and lips shut tight as your pout diminished with his strong gaze. “You’re not even done with the first can and you’re already on it? Ai, what made you a lightweight all of a sudden?” 
His eyebrow raised again as he stood from his position, the warmth from his body leaving with him as he crouched down to the fridge under the cabinets. You couldn’t help but miss his warmth despite him being in the same room. “Whatever, I don’t want to go either way.” You whispered through your pout, Jaemin’s head hung low when he heard you.
Time was going by too fast, not long ago it was seven, now it was nearly 9:48 at night. Even when your conversation seemed short and simple, too many silent words were spoken in between. You could never be quiet with Jaemin. Due to that, you believed that was the reason Jeno had made you slowly part ways from him.
You could never understand how that night you had found yourself in his arms without action. Sprawled on the couch with your back against his chest the two of you had convinced each other that nothing would come from just being held. He had turned the TV on not long after your third can and your insistence on singing karaoke without a machine. Now all that was left were the melancholic instrumentals with lyrics reading across the screen.
His fingers raked against your cold arms as he held you closer to him. Jaemin didn’t have to speak to let you know how he was feeling, even when you two ignored it. “Is there a reason you changed your mind and came here tonight?” His breath tickled against your neck, your fingers wanting to take his and tangle them together.
“I can’t stand Jeno anymore…he repulses me.” The heavy sigh of relief that left your lips worried him. He could feel you recoiling against him as you continued. “I can’t stand Eunja. I can’t stand that apartment, it’s cold, ugly, dirty, messy, and stinky. Sunlight doesn’t even come inside which makes it more depressing than it is.” You clutched his shirt, your nails softly scratching his chest.
The moment you stopped talking, his arms wrapped around you. “I don’t understand why he won’t end it when he’s been fucking her when I’m not there. It’s not like he loves me, I know he doesn’t…” Rage. The rage that once filled you was filling him. How careless could Jeno be to not even hide his affairs from you, especially with someone you know means a lot to Jeno.
“Why don’t you end it?” Shifting to look up at him, Jaemin didn’t bother looking down at you, only reaching for the can of beer he had on the table, taking in every last bit of liquid. “I guess I’m just as much of a coward as him…” You weren’t wrong, you were a coward and Jeno was a safe bet. His parents completed your life and built it. It was more for the reason that you didn’t want to seem ungrateful to them.
“That you are.”
Why did he always have to agree with what you said?!
“God, you don’t have to tell me as if I need reassurance! I should just go home…” Jaemin didn’t try to follow up on it, he knew you were becoming weaker with your thoughts. “Okay... I’ll call you a cab.” Shaking your head, you stood from your position. “I’m not drunk, I can still drive.” Jaemin laughed as he took his phone out. “Sure, Ai.”
“Stop calling me that! I don’t deserve to still be called that.”
Putting his phone back in his pocket, Jaemin looked at you, trying to meet your gaze and understand if you meant it. “Okay, I will...” Why is he so complacent!
“Would you stop agreeing with me?!”
“Then what do you want from me?” Jaemin was too calm and collected while muttering those words. He knew you were only in the heat of the moment due to your running thoughts and alcohol filled body. Looking up at him and finally meeting his eyes, your own softened.“I— nothing, I’m sorry...”
Jaemin smiles at you in reassurance that it was fine. Helping you put on your sweater knowing you were heading out already. Nothing could break the silence that locked itself around both of you after putting away the butterfly slippers. The walk down the stairs and out the building filled with the silence of your steps and those neighbors loud enough. Even by the clanking of mom and pop, take out dishes left out by the stairs.
It was chilly by the time you both had gone outside and caught the cab already parked outside. Just as bitter, this goodbye was. Watching him pull his hand out of his pockets just to freezingly wave goodbye and you to show him an apologetic smile for leaving him again. It brought memories, ranging from good to worse and you’re at least glad to say this was an added one to the calmly painful folder.
“Hey—”
His voice was rough, the lack of talking had made him clear his throat, smiling at you with embarrassment.
“Yeah?” “He doesn’t treat you right but I will.”
Shocking to know he still believed so. A gasp left your lips, you weren’t expecting it but it did partially fill the void he had created many years ago.
Your lips turned from gaping to a satisfied smile, nodding his way. “Go to sleep, Jaem.” He chuckles, watching you get inside the cab and have it drive you away to your inferno. There was some guilt in him after sending you off but he knew he’d feel guilty even if he didn’t send you off.
That cab ride you couldn’t stop thinking of what he thought about after sending you off. As much as you were worried about Jaemin’s mindset after having you in his home once again after six years, you hated the idea of Jeno finding out as if he had cared about you finding out about him and Eunja.
“How much would it be?” The cab ride was faster than when you had driven there yourself but then again, this time you didn’t have to worry about causing any accidents. The man only shook his head, “The sir you were with paid already. Have a nice night.” He didn’t even leave you time to give him a tip before he had driven off once you were out.
Sighing to yourself as your grasp on your purse loosened, you walked inside the building, smiling at Jisung as he enthusiastically greeted you. “Aren’t you tired?” You questioned with a giggle as he pressed the buttons to your floor.
“Yeah, but it’s my job to be friendly.” He smiled watching you go in. “You know, if I find out you’ve been acting with me— I’ll be heartbroken.” His face turned a shade of red you hadn’t seen before. The moment he saw your pout and saddened face he shook his head trying to assure you that he liked you enough to not fake your friendship.
He was a puppy dog after all.
Smiling at him as you ruffled his head, waving upon seeing the doors close, leaving you with your thoughts again. Jeno hadn’t slept that night, he wouldn’t have slept this early to be exact but after doing what he did with Eunja it was only natural they both would fall asleep right after. How hypocritical.
Eunja had fallen asleep on the couch right after, leaving Jeno to wait for you. He did find it weird seeing you get off a cab. After all he knew you took your car and when he didn’t see it pass all this time he stood by the window waiting for you, some sort of panic was filling him.
He heard you punch in the numbers onto the pin pad. If it wasn’t for his urgent need to see you as if he hadn’t just betrayed you for the millionth time, the door wouldn’t have been opened. Upon the door opening, you stumbled forward a little. Your balance being weak from the alcohol, making it easier for him to pull you into his arms.
“God, I was worried about you! Are you okay?” His hands were cold the moment they came in contact with your face, nothing like Jaemin’s warm ones. You nod with widened eyes, confused by his random burst of worry. 
Jeno pulled you in for a hug before cradling your face once again. Connecting your lips in a kiss you two haven't shared in weeks. He couldn’t deny that he missed your lips against his, there was this type of home he found with your lips that he couldn’t with Eunja’s.
That home dwindled the moment he tasted the familiar taste of beer on your tongue and lips. The cold and cheap taste that he tasted one happy time long ago. Just as his tongue swiped across your bottom lip in hopes to collect more of the source, Jeno pulled from the kiss, holding you close to him as his cold hands cradled your face and his eyes stared into yours.
You won’t ever forget the fright and pain that his eyes held. Never had you seen Jeno with so much pain the moment he stared into your tired eyes. “Where were you? You were with him, weren’t you?” His voice cracked and instantly knew he was the king of manipulation, causing you to push him away from your figure. “Don’t start.”
“Don’t start what, y/n? You went back to him for fuck sakes!” His tender touch and tone were quickly gone as he followed you around to the bathroom, panic growing for once. “Jeno get out, I have to piss.” You whine, pulling down your slacks and underwear, sitting on the cold toilet seat. 
“Since when do you care that I come in when you’re pissing— fuck, that’s not even the point! What were you doing with him?” His voice rose every time he thought about Jaemin. He didn’t even notice when you had flushed the toilet and washed your hands.
Taking a face wipe to remove the makeup from your face, Jeno stood behind you, going as far as wrapping his arms around you like Jaemin had just before you left. “What’s gotten into you?! Why are you worrying about Jaemin?” You questioned upon disposing of the wipe and beginning to wash your face. Pushing him off slightly to make the process easier.
“What do you mean, why am I worrying? Do you not remember what you two were before you and I?! I can’t bear thinking about you back in his arms… I don’t want to even think about him touching you again…” Looking at his eyes through the mirror you could see the jealousy and worry.
Pushing him off of you, you grunted grabbing your toothbrush. Ignoring his presence in the restroom while you brushed your teeth. “Would you leave?!” Exasperated you rinse your mouth, watching him stand by the door frame like a wounded puppy as he finally backs away from you. “Just tell me why you went to his place… You have no business there.” His voice was soft again, coming closer to you but you avoided his touch, walking to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
“Because I was angry at you. Is that what you want to hear? Or do you want to hear me lie and say we fucked like we used to? Which lie do you want?” Taking a sip from your glass, Jeno angrily stares at you, even when tears pooled at his eyes. “Don’t lie to me. That’s not what I want.” He spoke more aggressively.
Rolling your eyes as you place down the cup in the sink. You noticed the lack of takeout trash and dished. Perhaps that’s why this place didn’t reek once you entered. “You lie to me all the time, why can’t I? Plus you were thinking the exact same thing even before I just told you it was a lie, Jeno. You won’t ever stop thinking of me as a whore who slept with your old best friend, huh?”
“That’s not it!” “Then what is?!”
Both of you were yelling now. To be exact he didn’t see you as a whore, he only saw you as the root of his problem despite how much he must have loved you in the moment. Not only that but also a trophy, something he had won over Jaemin and you were there to show him.
“Fuck, just tell him you went to suck him off so he can shut up. People are sleeping here.” Eunja’s groggy voice had interfered once again between you both. Chuckle with a scoff leaving your lips when hearing her talk. You shook your head looking at him. “Fuck me! Do you ever mind your own fucking business?! This doesn’t involve you.” You grunt the moment you heard her shuffle to find a shirt in the pile of clothes on the floor.
Her barefoot steps against the floor had grown louder as she stood next to Jeno, wrapping her arms round his shoulders. “Of course it does, we’re talking about my best friend’s feelings here. If you’re the one to cause him problems, I’ll be here.”
“You’re here regardless even if we don’t want you to...”
Jeno turned to look at you, glaring at how Eunja only bothered to put on a shirt and panties. “You know, Jeno. If you’re going to have corporal support, it’s only fair that I do too.” You were trying to rile him up. You didn’t really want to talk about Jaemin but instead it only riled Eunja.
“Corporal support? At least he can be here and know someone cares for him.” God, you were so tired of her meddling in. “Eunja, start paying bills and rent now if you insist on joining in on our relationship arguments.” Emphasizing our, neither of them took it lightly that you ignored her statement.
Scoffing at your words, Eunja dropped her arms from his shoulders to fold them across her chest. “Find yourself a job without the help of Mr. Lee and then I’ll pay rent.” She knew well where to hit but even when you glared at her in hopes she became ash, you knew her points as well though.
“Find your father first and ask him to give you back your trust fund. At least you’ll leach off of him again and leave us alone.” “Y/n!”
Annoyed by the way Jeno yelled at you rather than her, your glare only increased looking at the both of them. 
“Sorry, just remembered he disowned you for his new kid. One who doesn’t come from an unwanted and unhappy forced marriage.” Seeing the pain in Eunja’s face was more than satisfactory. Good enough for you to want to grab a beer even if you had just brushed your teeth. Her sniffles driving you to euphoria.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you bring that up?” Jeno had stopped your steps, taking a hold of your wrist to stop you, trying to scold you but all you heard was the buzzing of pestering parasites. 
“Don’t fucking touch me... I’m tired of her meddling in on our arguments that most of the time she causes and you want me to be nice to her? I couldn’t care enough for her. Never in your life think I’ll like her. Especially not after finding you both that first night. You don’t even actually like her, even she knows you’re only using her when you want to fuck.”
Jeno understood your cold words, his grip from your wrist left the moment you expressed your thoughts. “Apologize.” Jeno couldn’t really tell what he was looking for when he asked you to apologize as if you would just because he told you to but he did want to feel like he had control.
Of course he understood that the moment you turned to glare at him, a long and hesitant silence between you two as Eunja continued to cry. “Is it her or is it me?” A soft and silent gasp left his lips the moment your eyes met. You had never been this precise and he knew if he answered, it’d be over. His silence was painful, throat slitting painful and the moment his eyes tore from you to look at Eunja, you knew.
You didn’t speak, you couldn’t. Instead you felt your blood boil to the point that the intoxication left your body and your hands turned into tight fists of detained anger. “I hope you rot in shit and the deepest level of hell, both of you… We’re done for, I’m not dealing with you or her anymore.” Jeno turned to look at you, the tired expression of heartbreak evident in his eyes. A part of you wanted him to say he loved you but even if he still did, you didn’t think you loved him.
Anger filling you, you went to grab your purse again, slipping in the same shoes you had worn as you stormed out the first time. He had reached out to you when he noticed you were seriously getting out again but upon hearing your shriek he stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide from shock.
“I told you to not touch me! You fucking repulse me, Jeno— every time you touch me I feel disgust and discomfort, fucking leave me alone! You’re gross.” Pushing back your hair and turning to slam the door behind you as you struggled to take out your phone, dialing Jisung’s number. Leaving him standing frozen on his spot rewinding the words you had just told him. 
That night you had failed to notice the damage you had caused in both Eunja and Jeno.
Only a horrible person could say those things and not feel remorse but you were a horrible person. Eunja’s fear of never being loved only increased after that. She knew Jeno only took her in for pity and did only have her around for whenever he wanted sex. Afterall you were never home because of work so she was his second choice. 
As in for her dad… that man always made sure to let her know he didn’t have an ounce of love for her. He had remarried not long ago after framing her mother of an affair to make the divorce faster. After that marriage he had a son. She couldn’t blame her father for loving him more than he would ever love Eunja. 
He was a product of a marriage with love and passion, not the robotic lifestyle she grew up in. Jeno’s parents were the only people she could rely on for parental love but the moment you came into the picture it was evident they were only waiting for someone to give them grandchildren.
Even if they never disclosed matters with Jeno, his parents knew of everything he did wrong to you and knowing Eunja was a reason for your dwindling beautiful romance, their dislike and disillusion for her grew. On top of that they grew to notice how obnoxiously dependent of a person she really was and that hatred from people that once loved her only made her weaker as time went by.
As for Jeno— only you could tell him how horrible of a person he was and be affected by it. Perhaps you don’t love him anymore but he loves you in his own way (so he thinks), even if his actions tell you otherwise. With your confession of disgust towards him, he felt like he had finally been crushed and his ego died. No— he finally understood how badly he had ruined you for you to say such vile things to him.
He knew he had no reason to be angry over you visiting Jaemin and even if you two did sleep together that night, he couldn’t blame you— it’s not like he hadn’t been doing that with Eunja for the past two years right in front of you.
The moment he snapped out of it as he saw the door fully closed, a sort of pain kept growing deeper. Seeing how hard your slam had made the items on the side table at the entrance fall. The vase with dead flowers had fallen to the floor, breaking the ceramic across and having the remaining water spill on the framed picture of both you and him. To be exact it wasn’t framed anymore. Upon contact with the floor, the frame broke, shattering the glass and scratching the picture.
Crouching down to get the image, he took it in between his fingers, blowing softly in fear of smudging the image. He didn’t look at Eunja that night. That was the first night he slept alone after six years, locking the door to the main room and hugging your pillow.
Jisung had picked up fairly fast, receiving you with an enthusiastic hello in the process of yawning. “Jisung, do you mind calling me a cab?” The meekness in your voice made him keep alert, despite the silence lingering while you got on the elevator. “I— I’m actually off my shift right now—”
“Oh, I’m sorry… I’ll call then.” “No! I— I can take you wherever you’re going. I don’t mind.”
Jisung always knew how to comfort you in his own way. He was the younger brother you wished for but to be honest he was the only one you could take care of and look after. Jeno didn’t grant you that purpose and after years together and now, there’s no way you could have his children and take care of them like you did for Jisung. Maybe that’s why you clung to the idea of Jaemin. He always followed you around like a kid in need and you were always there to help him.
You had hung up the moment the doors to the elevator dinged, opening to see him standing there with his jacket and backpack on, just waiting for you to arrive. “Are you sure you can give me a ride?” Shyly questioning, he nods with a smile, motioning for you to follow him.
The entire car ride you didn’t speak, only to tell him where to drop you off. You wanted to cry, you wanted to show how in pain you were but the numbness that took over you after knowing Jeno kept sleeping with Eunja didn’t allow for it. You couldn’t cry, even if you really wanted and just like always— you had to suffer in silence.
“Hey. We’re here…” Breaking from your thoughts upon realizing how fast you had ended here once again, you nod smiling at him. “Thank you, call me if you need anything. I— I won’t be staying there any longer.” Seeing your gaze drop from his, Jisung, turned to you in worry. 
“Huh?! What do you mean? Did something happen?!” His exasperated worry was endearing rather than annoying. You knew he cared for you, you were the only one to baby and comfort him knowing his parents were a long four hour train ride away.
Giggling at his demeanor you ruffled his hair again. “Is it because of Mr. Lee?...” His eyes had turned just as sad as yours, taking the hand that played with his hair into his. “I can mess with the water or the AC if you want? But to be honest he hasn’t been an asshole to me so I can’t really judge the situation.” He squeezed your hand, making you look up at him.
“Jisung… I— don’t worry about it. If you want I’ll visit you from time to time.” He knew that was it but he didn’t want to ask furthermore. You were already on the verge of slumping on your seat if you continued to talk about it. 
“You have my email and other places to talk on so please keep me updated, you’re the only one I care enough to hear about.” It was clear that Jeno had done something for you to answer in such a manner.
There was nothing he could do, so he opted for a nod and a smile taking you into an uncomfortable hug across the seats. “Take care, you can call me any time!” Jisung never explained how he managed to hide his feelings well. “I will, thank you...” Opening the door to his car, you smiled, waving at him once again. Before closing it, you turned to him; “Take care of Jeno for me, please…” Jisung nodded, watching you go inside the building before he drove away.
You didn’t only leave Jeno and Eunja wounded but Jisung added to the mix.
The difficulty of going up the steps didn’t bother you this time. You had found yourself up in no time compared to the first time earlier this day, well it was almost the next day. Just as before you punched in the numbers to the pad, not caring if the noise they made were loud enough to wake Jaemin from his slumber.
It was odd, he couldn’t think of anyone coming at this hour, not even you despite your earlier visit. All changed when he sat up, bed sheets covering his lower half and seeing your dark shadow turn on the light to the front part of the home.
“Y/n?” “Hey...”
Your slanted smile caused a sense of relief in him, something must’ve happened for you to be back here. Jaemin didn’t waste time in standing up, rushing to your figure and enveloping you in his arms, holding you tightly like he wanted so long ago.
The tears you couldn’t shed, he could. Buried emotions resurfaced when he saw you again this night, whether it was for better or for worse, he was only glad he could have you to himself again. His body was so warm against yours, shirtless, his musk filled you again. He wanted to speak, there was so much he wanted to say but he couldn’t— at least not now.
Jaemin had pulled away momentarily just to look at you, at your eyes and expression but all you could think about was kissing him. Kissing him like you used to and having him reciprocate it with much deserved passion. That’s what you did though. Taking the hand that held your face, you connected your lips, feeling the slight mixture of softness and chap of his lips against your own.
His arms had wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him in fear of having you leave him again. Jaemin felt that comfort from years ago, letting you lead him to his bed as the both of you kissed, holding each other for dear life.
That’s something about you. You could feel indifferent about anything but in the process and during sex you loved wildly and immensely. The moment you sat him down on the bed, straddling his lap— Jaemin could feel the long night this would be. Removing your sweater as the two of you continued to kiss. Your hips softly moved against his boxer clad lap, knowing he was easily sensitive.
Even when you had control overall— this was where he took it.
His hands took a tight grip on your hips, pushing you down on his cock as it got harder. His lips took yours in a needy kiss, becoming sloppy the moment his tongue poked out, swiping across your upper lip. Taking it as a sign to part your lips, a moan left them when he granted you with a soft thrust upward, thanking you for being complacent.
Jaemin chuckled, his chest rumbling with it. His hands left your hips making you miss his warm grip. His fingers tugged at the buttons of your blouse while you continued to kiss, your tongue making sure to taste him. From sloppy to passionate, you held the nape of his neck, your lips molding with his.
You were the type to kiss until you couldn’t breathe anymore, pulling away to see his lips plump from kissing. There was something endearing from this image— he was still your boy. After all these years he was still your boy, your Jaemin…
He smiled upon meeting your eyes. They turned into slight crescents as he kissed your cheek, removing your blouse and unclasping your bra, pulling it all off. Jaemin’s head dipped, coming in contact with your breast, his lips softly kissing the delicate flesh. His lips rested around your left breast, kissing softly and his breath fanning the skin, causing goosebumps. Jaemin smiled at the feeling, looking up at you with his soft puppy eyes, admiring you from that angle, just as you were him.
When he saw you smile at him, he turned his attention back to your breast, his lips finally enveloping around the perked nub. His mouth was warm, the saliva on his tongue coating your nipple as he swirled his tongue around it. Pulling away slightly, he blew cold air on it, making you take a hold around him.
“Jaemin…”
Something about you moaning his name always sets him off. It was his fuel but only when it came from your lips. The moment it left them, his lips became rougher but still soft enough to not hurt you. His right hand takes your other breast and kneads it, taking your nipple in between his thumb and index, rolling it to your liking.
You hadn’t been touched like this for months and to be touched by someone who has brought you great pleasure in the past, you’re glad to know your dry spell was ending with him. Jaemin was always delicate and rough at the same time, he knew what you liked and how to take it.
“You’re doing so good, baby.” You whispered against the top of his head, leaving soft reassuring kisses. “You’re… doing, great.” He liked when you praised him. Only you. Just like when you moaned his name, hearing you praise him only made him want to please you better.
As you kept getting wetter by his actions, the warmth of your cunt against his cock, made him grow erect. His hips softly jolted upwards, enough to cause friction between both your bodies. Your whimpers couldn’t be tamed, even if you bit your lower lip to be quiet; your fingers raked through his hair, pushing it back to see his face.
Jaemin had always been beautiful. Especially during sex. His features contorted to express how he felt, the way his eyes closed as he focused on pleasing you, the faces he made when he was inside of you— you truly did miss him.
Pulling away from your nub, he smiled, connecting your lips once again. They tingled against yours this time but the warmth that came with them upon kissing made up for it. Your hips this time took the initiative, rocking against his cock in soft glides. Jaemin was a sensitive man, any movement had him biting his lower lip. Throwing his head back with his lips parted in order to allow the moan stuck in his throat to leave.
This was an advantage to you. Lowering your body enough to rock your hips against his whilst you had easy access to his neck, leaving delicate open mouth kisses to it. “Do you feel good, baby?” You whisper against his ear, kissing his lobe before licking a long stripe from it back to his Adam's apple, leaving a kiss on it.
“I always feel good with you on top of me.” He admits, thrusting upwards, making you moan right against his Adam's apple. “Are you feeling good?” He questions, opening his eyes hoping to see you but with your face and lips against his neck— it wasn’t really possible.
“You have always made me feel great.”
Jaemin moaned at your words with the addition of your teeth nipping at the flesh of his neck, knowing well this would lead to territorialism. Chuckling, he pushes you further down on his crotch, hands on your lower back as he thrusts forward, making you feel him so close despite the material you both ported.
Whilst he kept thrusting upwards and you grinded against his cock, sucking on the skin of his neck— you could feel yourself so close to coming undone. As you haven’t been touched by anyone in so long, not even yourself, being in this situation made you grow more hot and bothered than usual. You needed this release and now.
Jaemin couldn’t hold his whimpers at the feeling of you sucking on his neck. Hickies were so juvenile but when you gave them to him, he knew it was your way of claiming. Of wanting to see him marked up and be remembered of who clearly can only do this to him. You have and always will be his muse. His muse who he’d drop everything for.
His hand left your sides and instead cupped your ass, taking you off of his lap and pushing you to the mattress. It did feel different than his old one. This one was more firm and smaller but it could still fit you both. At this point he unbuttoned your slacks and pulled them along your panties, taking them off swiftly like he used to. Parting open your legs, you didn’t protest in anything he did.
By your needy whimpers just for touching you, Jaemin knew it had been a while since you had been touched. His lips had kissed the inside of your thighs, leaving wet open mouthed kisses, his teeth biting the flesh softly from time to time.
“Jaem, please don’t tease.” You whine as his mouth hovers over your cunt. His hot breath fanning against the wetness he had allowed for you to build up through that moment on his lap. Smiling at you, he nods. His lips coming in contact with your cunt, feeling way warmer than when they touched your inner thigh.
Jaemin always knew what pleased you, he knew your ticks and buttons. His lips enveloped your clit, softly sucking on it in order to not get you on edge quickly despite his understanding that you were indeed so very close.
While he sucked on your clit, letting his tongue slip in from time to time, licking at your entrance to taste your ever growing arousal— his fingers ran up and down the inside of your left thigh, tickling you softly to build anticipation.
“Jaem…” You moaned, feeling his hair cascade in front of his face, adding to the tickling feeling on your flesh. “Yeah?” He moaned against your cunt, licking along your inner labia. The vibration of his moan against you made you feel closer, your legs slightly shaking.
At your lack of response, he blew cold air against your cunt, making you groan— letting it elongate as his fingers raked from your inner thigh to your cunt, teasing the labia and clit, playing with the idea of inserting them inside of you.
You didn’t have to ask him, this time he did it on his own when he felt your hands reach down for his hair, tugging at it. He liked it when you pulled at his hair, making him grumble as he inserted his warm middle finger into you.
Gasping at the minimum stretch, you felt a mixture of discomfort and pleasure. It felt so familiar, the curves of his finger in you. Moving softly in and out as his tongue licked around your clit. Just as you were getting used to his middle finger, he had put in his ring finger, moving it around to fit perfectly next to his other one.
The feeling of your walls contracting around his fingers made him want to move them, he wanted to feel you perfectly around his fingers as he ate you out with the fervor of missing your taste. His lips suctioned clit, that’s where you liked him the most— wrapped around your clit and tongue teasing at your entrance, picking up every single drop of you.
Jaemin used his spare hand to prop up your leg slightly, making you do the same with your other leg. He always did this when he was going to start moving his finger, it’s as if he knew it made you feel differently.
His fingers started moving slowly at first. The basic in and out routine until he started to go faster, making them go in deeper, curling his fingers and hand to make sure he had closer contact with your pressure points. That made the palm of his hand start rubbing at your labia, causing a friction that you missed so much.
Your moans increased in volume when his mouth pulled away from you, having only his fingers inside of you. “You’re so sensitive, has he touched you this well? Does he even touch you like I do?” Jaemin’s voice was husky, his warm breath falling flat against your thigh. You couldn’t speak but for sure your loud ‘no’ had satisfied him.
“Say it again.”
“No! He’s never been able to make me feel like you have…” That was enough for him, his spare hand resting its fingers on your clit, rubbing circles on it with delicate pressure as the fingers on his other hand curled and moved at a rapid pace inside of you, your walls wrapping around him, sucking him in. Even if his fingers didn’t reach your g-spot, the pressure and nerves being worked on your clit were driving you to your high and he knew it.
The moment your legs started shaking with the feeling of his fingers thrusting in deeper and the pressure applied to your clit increased; Jaemin pulled them out, having his drenched fingers slap your abused and raw cunt. The sting made your back arch, moaning loudly at how painfully pleasurable he did that.
Knowing that had made you even more sensitive and the slapping pain running through your cunt made you so, Jaemin stuck his fingers back in you, going as deep as he could and stopping there, not even moving them. His other hand reached back to your clit, rubbing faster and harder than before, the stinging hadn’t gone away so feeling him so deep in you that it was hard for you to contract your walls around him.
You couldn’t hold back much longer and he was aware, lowering his head and kissing around your thighs, leaving small bites as he rubbed your clit. As your hands pulled at his hair, Jaemin groaned against your skin, rubbing faster, wanting to see you cum around him, to look pretty as you always do when you cum— that’s what he got.
Upon hearing you whine last time and claiming your orgasm, he curled his fingers inside of you the moment you came, the action causing a sensibility that had you squirming in place and holding onto your thighs for composure. Your legs were shaking and your moans couldn’t stop, your neck felt sweaty but it was all due to your long overdue orgasm.
The moment you had calmed down, Jaemin sat next to you, helping you sit up and pecking your lips. You had chased after his own lips the moment his clean hand wrapped around your shoulder, wanting to feel him closely to you but instead he tapped his soaked fingers against your lips, making it obvious as to what he wanted.
He didn’t have to speak, parting your lips and sticking out your tongue slowly, the contrast of your warmth compared to his cold fingers made you and him softly moan. The sweet and tangy taste of yourself lacing your tongue. It wasn’t an unpleasant taste and even if you’ve tasted yourself before, it always felt different when he asked you to. 
He imagined you sucking him off, he did but if he didn’t fuck you any time soon, Jaemin would cum in his boxers and doing so after finally having you back in his bed after so long would destroy his pride. Of course it could wait; the moment he pulled his fingers out of your mouth with a slight string of spit following.
With that you guided his hand back in between your legs. Having him rub you again while you leaned in, taking his lips in between your teeth before kissing him again. Your hand holding his head delicately, enjoying the feeling of his lips against yours.
As the two of you kissed, the hand that held his own moved to his crotch, feeling his clothed cock. It was restrained, the precum staining the gray cloth and asking to be liberated but he wouldn’t grant himself that. With his tongue down your throat, hands in between your legs and helping himself prop up on the bed, there was no way he’d stop you from helping him out— he was technically leaking to be touched.
Or so you thought, the moment your fingers locked around the waistband of the boxers, the hand in between your thighs pulled away, holding your wrist. Even his lips had separated from yours making you whine like a child who’s candy was just taken. “Don’t be so desperate, princess.” His eyes bore into yours before he smiled, leaning into you again, connecting your aching lips and continuing to kiss you.
Despite his lack of wanting attention, there was no harm in touching him a little. In fact you wanted to touch him, to feel him again. You missed the full girthy feeling of him weighing on your hand, you wanted to feel his precum in between your fingers as you touched him, but for now you had to settle for touching him above his boxers.
Whilst the both of you continued to kiss and his hand went in between your thighs again; his palm softly rubbing against your clit, your own hand started softly caressing him. Jaemin didn’t know if you were really trying to tease him or pleasure him so once he felt your hand deliciously rubbing him, he couldn’t help but moan against the kiss.
Satisfied with his response you kept going, touching him over his boxers and praising him for being compliant. He could feel himself being on edge quickly. Just like you, he hadn’t been touched in months but compared to you he did touch himself, it just never felt the same as when someone else did so.
You could feel him whole, the curve of rubbing him up and down, the wetness from the precum, and his shaking legs as you kept going; increasing pressure as you went on. Even when you hadn’t gone much longer the moans against the kiss signaled that he was just as close as you were not long ago.
Feeling himself so very close, Jaemin took your wrist again, this time pulling it away with as much force as to pin you down on the bed. Your soft whimper made him bite down on his bottom lip, his other hand taking a hold of your free wrist.
“I’m so close and I can’t be coming with just your touch…” his head lowered, his lips caressing the flesh of your neck. You felt him so close, his hips lowering to the point you felt his clothed cock press against your achingly wet cunt, leaving a small patch once he lifted his hips.
Moaning at the loss of contact, Jaemin enveloped his lips around your neck, biting down softly while having his lips litter your neck with kisses. Contrary to your kisses, his were delicate and lacked the territorialist sentiment only wanting to leave his print and care, showing he wanted to only please you.
“Cum in me.”
You knew the power of your words. You knew how heavy they weighed over him, loving to hear you say you wanted him to pump his load of cum inside of you, to fill you to the brim and claim you as his with just his warm spurts.
Jaemin growled against your neck, nipping softly at the flesh, his kisses becoming rougher and wet. His frustration laced on his kisses against your neck: wet, sloppy, and open mouthed.
He separated himself from you, dropping his grip on your wrist as he kneeled before you, pushing down his boxers and letting his cock spring free like it had been screaming for so long.
Given the opportunity; you sat up, staring at him as he removed his boxers and threw them on the floor. Your hand reached out for him, wrapping itself around his cock. Coming in contact: he groans loudly, throwing his head back as your thumb collects the precum on his angry red tip, asking to be touched. He was sensitive after all, biting down on his lip, letting you have your way and touch him.
Jaemin believed that if you went any longer he would cum all over your hand and that’s not what he wanted. Your hand itself felt great, your hand rubbing at his tip while moving your hand softly up and down lubricated with only his precum and some of your spit that you had allowed to collect after taking a grasp on him.
His cock in your hand, stroking him just to rile him more; Jaemin leaned forward, resting his head on your shoulder. You could hear his pretty whimpers, how he softly moaned and groaned as you went on. He really was close to coming, as sensitive as he was. In fact you wouldn't have minded having him come on your hand, you wanted to see how pretty he looked as he spurted out his warm cum in ribbons all over your body. Yeah, you’d like to see it.
He would have liked it to but being inside you as he came was more pleasant. Groaning against your shoulder, Jaemin took your wrist again. His hand pinning it to the bed hovering over you as he parted your legs with his spare hand.
Jaemin didn’t speak in the meantime, he looked at you before taking his wet cock onto his hand and guiding it between your legs. Slapping it softly against your cunt to test your sensibility and when you threw your head back in anticipation and want, he smirked, sliding in softly.
You haven’t felt him inside of you for so long that the feeling was foreign. Feeling your walls stretch, you moaned onto the pillows under your head. He hadn’t moved but you could already feel him in the process. He always filled you so well, the girth stretching you out.
“You can’t just say that and expect me to not want to ruin you right now.” As he hovered over you, looking straight into your eyes, letting you adjust. You knew well Jaemin loved coming in you, he always did. It gave him some sense of power, feeling as that's his way of claiming you.
Giggling softly at his words, showing off your toothy grin. “Cum in me, Jaem.” You were taunting him but if he wouldn’t cum on your hand and paint your body with it then you want to feel his hot cum inside of you, filling you like a glove.
Jaemin couldn’t hold off. Leaning against your lips, he kissed you making you moan against them when you felt his hips snap forward.
It was a hard thrust, slow but hard allowing you to feel him fully inside. Every time he thrusted your legs shook, moving around the bed with great pleasure. This looked like a new technique. Starting our hard and slow, his pelvic bone snapping against yours.
Your moans were loud the faster he went, his skin slapping against yours and with his hands holding tightly to your wrists, you couldn’t even hold onto him or the bed. “Jaem!” You scream in pleasure the deeper he goes. His cock coming so effortlessly in and out of you as if your cunt has already adjusted perfectly to him again. Jaemin had noticed it, chuckling at the ease.
“How are you feeling?” He asked against your lips, his hip rotating in circles before going back to slamming them against your own. Your moans overpowered your words to the point that you couldn’t really speak, only bite your lip.
He took it as an answer, continuing as he held onto your wrists, grip so tight to make your hands turn red. “Jaem…” His name cascading from your swollen lips, leaving a sweet taste. Thrusting into you as if he wasn’t just so close to painting your walls.
It didn’t help that you started squeezing your muscles around him, tightening your own grip and making him groan against your sweat coated skin. “Fuck, if you keep doing that, I’ll come right now.” He cooed, making you moan out a whimper, hips rising to feel him even deeper.
Jaemin’s grip on your wrists loosened, moving his hands down your body to hold your hips up there and closer to him as he grinded them against you before continuing to pound into you. It was glorious, the contact of his hips against yours rubbing at your clit. You could feel yourself coming soon once again. You wouldn’t last longer and you were ready to experience that wave of pleasure once again.
Your legs wrapped around his torso, pulling him deeper and closer to you. If he kept going at this pace you would come so hard and you were ready for it. Heels pushing at his ass and arms wrapping themselves around his shoulders once he set your wrists free, holding onto him for dear life. “Fuck, I’m so close,” You whine shutting your eyes tightly.
Nails clung to the flesh of his back, Jaemin felt the sting of it but just like you— he was so very close. “Me too… shit, I can’t hold much longer.” Your muscles squeezed around him, knowing that made him go harder.
Jaemin moaned, pulling your body closer to his. “You little shit, you’re doing it on purpose.” He laughed against you, kissing your cheek with every thrust. “What about it? You’re about to cum already and I want it inside me.” Smiling at him; Jaemin leaned in to kiss you. Fuck, he loved you so much and hearing you be this filthy made him go faster.
His hips slammed against yours even harder, his thrusts both sloppy but feeling good. You weren’t wrong in the fact that he was about to cum but he wanted you to cum first. That wouldn’t happen though. As much friction of his body on your clit, Jaemin was most sensitive and he was soon to spill.
Just as he was about to say he wanted for you to cum first, you had beat him to it. Pulling his head lower so you could speak against his ear. “Cum in me, Jaemin… make me yours again.” That had set him off. A rumbling growl erupted from his throat, thrusting hard inside you with the tight grip of your cunt squeezing him.
“You don’t know how long I’ve ached to hear you say something like that again. To have you like this again, with me— fuck you’re insanely hard to get over…”
He couldn’t hold off any longer. With his final rough thrust, Jaemin held on to you tightly. His face hid on the crook of your neck as he spilt inside of you. It felt glorious on your side too, the feeling of being so full with his cum. Perhaps it was the idea and feeling of having him in you that made you cum with the wave of his warm cum inside of you.
When he felt you squeeze around him, your legs shook and a loud cry left your lips along the warmth of your own cum coating him. Jaemin smiled, leaving kisses along your shoulder blade.
“You did so well…”
You could barely speak but hearing your words made him feel that warm feeling inside of him once again. Sighing against your skin, he smiled before turning to you. “I missed you, you know.” No words left you but you knew he meant it. For now, smiling in satisfaction and caressing his cheek would do. Planting a soft peck on the tip of his nose, having him still buried inside of you and his cum slowly dripping out.
That wasn’t the only round that night but that night you had learned of what he had done all these years without you and what you had done. Though regret coated both of your words with every sentence, neither could deny it was a fulfilling feeling to be in each other's arms once again.
That night you two had held each other, not sleeping after a few more rounds and continuing to chat as if nothing had just happened with Jeno and what happened between the two of you never did. It seemed like the beginning to your paused actions with him before you started dating Jeno but at the end you both knew who would end up hurt if it went further.
You were the first one to wake up in the morning. Thanks to your hypothalamus, you were up before he could notice you had gone to your car to pick up the to-go bag you always had in there. Just in case a scenario like storming out of the apartment would happen. At least it’s of use now.
Jaemin was still asleep once you got inside the apartment, this time the pin pad didn’t wake him up. Taking the opportunity to shower and get cleaned up hoping that maybe you could treat him with some breakfast if you had the willpower right after your shower.
At times like these you would leave before he awoke but that nostalgia of having him there with you didn’t let you. You wanted him in your life again, especially now that Jeno was out of the picture.
Clearly you couldn’t… You had already decided on leaving; as much as you try telling yourself you want a life with Jaemin, you just want the comfort and him to fill the emptiness you have been feeling. He was the only one you knew who cared enough for you.
By the time you had gotten ready and out of the restroom he was already up, clutching the pillow your head rested on earlier and looking through his cellphone. Mere seconds before dialing your phone number, he saw you close the door to the restroom, sighing to himself out of relief.
Jaemin did fear that you’d leave just like many times before. He was scared and vulnerable to lose you again after last night— that’s how attached he really was to you. After all these years he could only focus on you.
“Morning,” Greeting him, he smiles at you, running a hand through his hair and rubbing his eyes just after dropping his phone on the mattress. “Morning…” His shoulders flexed while he stretched, giving you a view of the growing muscles you weren’t really able to see last night.
While you dropped the bag next to the entrance, Jaemin put his boxers back on, walking your way to wrap his arms around your waist. “Want to get breakfast?” His voice was boyish, soft, and calming to hear next to your ear, even when he left soft kisses and rubbed his nose against your neck.
“Oh, I was thinking about making you breakfast, I have enough time before I go in.” Turning to face him, the glint of joy in his eyes was enough to tell you he had gained that illusion again. The one you killed so long ago. You didn’t let it scare you off, or so you’re trying to claim.
“Ai… It’s 8:37 already, you go in at nine… I don’t think that’s enough time.” Your eyes widened at his statement, breaking away from his arms to check the clock on your phone. Clearly enough, he was right. Time did fly by when you were with him.
“Fuck— don’t you go in at the same time? You’re not even dressed yet!” It was endearing how you had grown exasperated that fast but he could only laugh at your reaction. “Technically but your boss wanted me to pick up something for his side—” Covering his mouth, Jaemin turned to you, eyes widened now that you were the one laughing.
He tried to keep quiet about it but that morning you had found out Jungwan had a side chick and she was in her fifth month of pregnancy which was firing a light up his ass. Not only that but the stress he threw onto Jaemin so the secret won’t come out kept growing. He even went as far as suggesting that if they did get caught that Jaemin should take the blame to which his girlfriend ended up slapping him right after. You won’t deny you became obviously pouty and jealous at the news. Enough for him to tease you until he was able to kiss them away.
The day he suggested that, your superior had heard them. Jungwan’s dumbass had been stupid enough to not hang up and have him hear everything. Even threatened him to not involve Jaemin or he himself would fire him. As cold as the superior looks, he did care about his employees— at least only the ones who had purpose to him and Jaemin’s position as an intern and pretty much his second assistant— he was purposeful.
After he told you to keep quiet, Jaemin kissed you one last time before sending you off, knowing you didn’t want to be late. He offered you to stay at his place while you found somewhere to stay but knowing Jeno, his apartment was the first place he would go looking at. At the end of the day you had already made up your mind with your future and in the meantime would crash with Jun, knowing she’ll be there for you.
“I’ll see you later, okay? We can get lunch once I get to the firm.” You nodded, closing the door behind you, leaving him alone once again. Something about the way you quietly left was making him grow anxious. There wasn’t a reason for it but that’s what he thought. In fact any time you left, he always grew scared. The scarring you left that day was never healing.
It was chilly that morning, colder than when you first stepped foot outside. All you could think about in the car after sending the email to your superior was about how those around you would feel. To be exact how Jaemin would feel. Even when you walked through the aisles of the pharmacy with the Plan B in hand, water, and a pack of KitKat’s. You could only think of how he would react knowing you’d run away from him again.
Not even the light music playing on the speakers could distract you nor the questioning glare of the lady who angrily packed your items into the plastic baggy. Adding a pack of condoms into the mix to make her scowl grow bigger, you paid with cash hoping it would only ruin her morning just like she was bittering yours.
Hopping into the car, closing the door forcefully you looked ahead. The dull buildings were deteriorating while you thought about yourself and your decisions. Either way you rummaged every compartment in the car just to find the opener in your purse, making sure and precise openings to the plastic.
You could never understand how Jun opened it with her teeth, struggling to remotely make an opening and avoiding the plastic to either cut her or stab her gum but at the end of the day it was Jun. Straight to the point and ready for anything.
Sighing to yourself as you took the bottle of water out of the bag and opened it, you took out the pill popping it out of the packaging. It was an amazing waste of plastic and paper just for a tiny single pill, yet at the same time it was rather understandable knowing they could easily steal it if it was pocket sized.
Nonetheless its purpose was taken and you swallowed it, staring at the chocolate debating whether you should eat it or leave it, knowing it was a waste getting it. Even the condoms seemed like a waste unless you decide to fuck Jaemin while you wait for your plans to commence. Either way, there’s nothing else to do than wait.
There was a new air in the firm, it was crisp and clear. Things seemed so different after last night and you wondered if Jeno’s and Eunja’s toxicity was the reason for your previous demise.
The lights were bright but warm this time. As you went up the elevator to your floor you placed down your items waiting for the hour to come where your superior would call you again. 
“Morning, y/n.” Guenhye greeted you, placing her cup of coffee next to her desktop screen.
“Good morning!” That was too peppy. Raising an eyebrow she smiled, winking your way. “Had a good night?” She questioned logging in just as you settled your own stuff down. “Yeah… yeah, I’d say so.” Remembering Jaemin inside of you and his sweet talk right after did make your night turn around from the anger and pain brought to you prior.
“Lucky, Jeno in that case.”
Jeno. Just hearing his name made your body slouch, the air was thick again, and the gloominess in the firm returned. That happy morning was gone.
“Ms. y/l/n. Your meeting is now.” It was your superior’s assistant. Her words were quick and to the point but they always held that kindness that any assistant should have. Looking up at her you nodded, clipping on your ID just as you began to follow behind her, avoiding Geunhye’s questioning gaze hoping to know what it was about.
God, you knew she would be heartbroken if she knew.
Yesterday seemed to be repeating itself; clicking your shoes and hers against the floor and the bright lights above, presenting you in the spotlight as his assistant and you walked to and from the elevator to his office.
This time he didn’t have you waiting. She had directed you inside and shut the door behind her as she left without a word. Looking at the clock on his wall, the time had marked 9:48— hopefully enough, Jaemin was back from his little dirty mission.
“Y/n! So, did you make up your mind that quickly?” He smiled with his fingers intertwined together, resting on his desk while showing how he knew you would backtrack on your previous words. “Yes, sir… I’ll take the position at FR-EE…”
If anything— this is the perfect time to run away like the coward you are. Leaving Jaemin and Jeno behind for good.
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