#i know others have done it but i wanted to do it my way lol
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itsrlymine · 1 day ago
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hey baby!!! hope youre having a lovely day. I absolutely adore ur account, even though ive been into spirituality for a long time, i finally understood manifestation in my own way in december 2024 when i found ur account while browsing tumblr 😭😭😭😭
ur posts have been such a massive help, there is no way i could describe it oml, i want u to know that you were someone who helped me so much with everything. recently, ive encountered resistances, and obviously, theyre gone now, and in a way, i (usually) came across a particular post as a reminder to myself that manifestation is as simple as drinking water. since i understood manifestation in my way thanks to you, ive realised that the playlist (which i left in mid-2023) with the audios that supposedly didnt work, only didnt work because i doubted myself so much and was being SO negative. clearly, im using a different one now, and ive also gone through details of my life this 2025 (in a doc) because i absolutely adore writing, however, everything has been happening so fast and its still hard to accept that everything is so real, but it really is!!! things as unreal as having an identical feature of someone in my face, an aura, body changes, environment, moving, making 80% of my classmates leave and new ones coming (lol), parties, rich suitors and flings, among many other things ive manifested. cause im "changing" my mindset, i found that i like saturation, and for fun, i started doing it to get ("") curls in my hair from birth, i wanted it to take a week bc i dont like when everything happens instantly for some reason: now guess whos got super curly hair now. i also changed its natural colour, now the blonde stands out loads. ngl, im still some insecure abt specific things, but then i remember some of ur quotes and i immediately change my perception, the "nothing is hard, nothing is difficult, its just done" made a HARDDD click on my mind, being so frrr.
anyway, youve been a source of trust and deep learning for me, though it sounds weird, i just want to thank u so damn fucking much, my love!!! i love your posts forever, thank u<3 sending love
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omgg hey babe!!! i'm so happy that my page has been able to be of some help to you my love. exactly!!!!! nothing is hard, nothing is difficult, it's just done!! seriously there's nothing impossible or hard. there's so many things we can "bring" into our experience ans we need to take advantage of that. keep updating us my love, i'm so happy for youuuu.
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fernsnailz · 1 day ago
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FEB 2025 SHOP INFORMATION/FAQ
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i've been getting a lot of questions about the next plans for my shop recently, so i'm gonna go ahead and answer a lot of them here as to update everyone. yay
edit: putting this shit under a readmore. shoulda done that in the first place lmfao 💀💥
WHEN IS YOUR SHOP REOPENING? i don't know the exact date, but i'm gonna try to reopen late February or early March. no promises though, 2025 has been kinda hard on me so far and i might have to push it back.
WILL YOU BE SELLING PHYSICAL COPIES OF BORN TO FAIL? yeah. they'll be on pre-order again. i'll have some b-grades available at a discount too.
ARE YOUR OTHER KEYCHAINS/STANDEES/PREVIOUS THINGS YOU HAD IN YOUR SHOP RETURNING? yes, i haven't retired anything. however, some things will be on pre-order again and other items may be pretty low stock. the band standees in particular are REALLY low, i think i only have one team dark one left.
WILL YOU BE SHIPPING TO MORE COUNTRIES BESIDES JUST THE US AND CANADA? no. i'm really sorry, i know this is something a lot of people want but i cannot expand shipping to more countries right now. i keep shipping limited to the US and Canada to keep the scale of my shop manageable, because my shop is technically a side gig i do on top of freelance storyboard work. additionally, i quite literally cannot offer international shipping to most countries through bigcartel (the service where i host my shop) without having to jump through a million hoops to collect and remit a number of different taxes + tariffs and comply with every country's requirements for international commerce.
the EU and UK are particularly difficult to ship to right now due to the EU's new GPSR (general product safety regulations) and the UK's VAT (value added tax) (which i would be responsible for collecting and remitting since i run an e-commerce site located out of the UK). the short explanation is that even though these are the two main locations people request i expand shipping to, i literally cannot feasibly ship to the EU or UK through my current shop without facing huge legal and tax obligations.
the best way for me to expand international shipping would be to sell stuff through a different shop hosting service that either does the complicated stuff for the seller or places tariff and tax responsibilities on the buyer, but please know that i honestly just do not have the ability or time to do that right now. i'm really sorry again, but i'm not going to be offering shipping to more countries right now.
ARE YOU GONNA HAVE NEW ITEMS? yes. i already have a few things i designed for my last convention that i have yet to sell on my shop, like some bluey and mouthwashing charms.
there's also a bunch of new robot related things i really want to design (transformers stuff, nge things, misc. other robot stuff), but i haven't finished them. this is the main reason why my shop isn't opening for at least another few weeks - i haven't had time to design my self-indulgent robot merch lol
HEY IS THE TARIFF WAR THAT THE US IS WAGING ON CANADA MEXICO AND CHINA GONNA AFFECT YOUR SHOP? yeahhhhhh probably. for those who don't know: i am based in the US, and our stupid idiot shit for brains country recently placed some absolutely insane tariffs on imports from Canada, Mexico, and China. this led to all three of those countries implementing their own tariffs on US imports and a "trade battle" breaking out.
the short rundown is that the US' tariffs on Canada and Mexico were put on hold for 30 days, but if this battle continues after that then it will affect anyone in Canada who orders from me. i'll likely still be able to offer shipping to Canada, but if the tariff battle continues then Canadian customers at my shop will be responsible for paying any tariffs Canada imposes on US goods. and since the 10% tariff the US placed on China is still in effect, i might have to raise the prices of my keychains and standees a little bit since that's where i get those from.
ARE YOU GONNA BE TABLING AT ANOTHER CONVENTION ANYTIME SOON? the next convention i have lined up is Animazement (Raleigh NC) in May! i'll be tabling in the artist alley there. hopefully i'll be tabling at a few other events later in 2025, but we'll have to wait and see.
that's all for now! if i get more shop related questions beyond this, i'll probably add them to this post.
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fadelbison · 15 hours ago
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#A READ#but a deeply loving one - @chicademartinica
oh man it is SO deeply loving what can I say about it?
bad shows and mediocre shows and boring shows are necessary for the artistic process. the truth is that sometimes Jojo Tichakorn will make a boring show. bless Never Let Me Go but I don't remember a single thing about that show other than Pond and Phuwin sat on the beach soulfully looking out at the sea in sepia adjacent coloring. But that was simply his artistic impulse. there's no THK without only friends without NLMG. And in that VERY same interview from TWO years ago Jojo revealed that Ninew originally wanted Only Friends to be set in an acting class while Jojo pushed it to Business. and now??? Ninew gets to direct Only Friends: Dream On. HIS vision of only friends. It's mind boggling, for a queer person to live such a sweet life, training under a mentor, working towards and achieving their dreams I just dgaf if it's horrible I love OF: Dream On with all my being already.
I don't know if P'Golf will ever construct a story where they don't pretend that the villain is not the villain? Like they build such compelling narratives of conflict and intimacy and the intimacy to be found within conflict and then completely forget to set up the motivations of their antagonists (RIP Thua and Ter plywood beams supporting so much of the narrative's weight) but like I really dgaf the person who submitted Thailand's marriage equality bill, an act that changed the course of history can do whatever the fuck they want lol
I mean many such cases?? I didn't watch Last Twilight despite Aof being one of my favorite directors period is because I knew his protagonists tend to follow lakorn logic, he did it in ATOTS, DBK, MLC and even in Bad Buddy (random shooting my beloved <3), like idk if it's the shared enthusiasm for RPF or traditional asian narratives but I feel this man's vision on an atomic level and I knew from the trailer how that show was going to end and I didn't watch it because I know his artistic limitations. But then it suddenly became about how GMMTV hates disabled people. Like??? Not only did Aof Noppharnach present such a beautifully compelling and deeply celebratory representation of queer disability in MLC he named his queer disabled character Heart idk how to explain the shock I felt when faced with people's short term memory regarding this.
I'm not surprised that Nuchy is the one directing Burnout Syndrome, a three-way entanglement with gun atthaphan as the centerpoint. The exclusion of GramBlack, outside of its social reactions and implications, was a significant failing of her narrative. Gram was in fact in love with Black, that's what how it was in the original story from which Not Me was adapted and that's how it was in the show. To change who a character is in love with is changing the whole character which she simply hadn't done but she compromised her art against social pressures and like I don't have proof but im not surprised that the keys to Gun's Off Jumpol chastity belt was handed to Nuchy.
it's incredible, make your shitty pots my dears I'm here to witness it. we are nowhere near the peak for any of these people. Hayao Miyazaki was 47 when he directed My Neighbor Totoro. Jojo is only 40 years old that's a baby in artist years. They are pioneers in an entirely toddler of a genre, they have countless more life experience to collect and tonnes more stories to tell imperfectly and I am simply so happy to be here. I like to acknowledge GMMTVs hand in creating this reality.
I think one of the most incredible things about gmmtvs artistic direction *is* their dedication towards the commonplace the steady the familiar. Not only do they make boring gay shows (in addition to the exciting and interesting imo) but they do it consistently every single year. Every single year they make terrible shows and boring shows; shows you can put on in the background and promptly fall asleep during shows that I consistently forget exists or even aired (in addition to the great!).
Will P’Golf ever stick the landing in their shows? idk but they certainly will be directing till we find out 😂 Is New Siwaj on some quest to turn his low stakes college anthology style into like a degrassi or skins-esque staple? idk gonna find out during gmmtv2026. Which formative media for Jojo is going to become his next aesthetic centerpoint? Idk but we gonna find out. Will Aof Nopparnach ever stop directing like he wished he was making lakorns instead? maybe if it’s RPF but idk we gotta find out.
Like??? I am following pioneer creators on their creative journey *as* they’re taking it. I’m watching them fumble and pirouette as they sculpt their pieces; flaws and all.
man what an incredible place for queer media to be and what good luck to be experiencing it when I am
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senseandaccountability · 2 days ago
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What's your verdict of Dragon Age the Veilguard now two months down the road? How do you think fandom has reacted to it, compared to the other new titles that you can remember (I know you're a long-time fan)?
(Two months + a fair amount of weeks at this point, sorry for the delay, anon.) This is going to be salty, I’m afraid and a bit like beating on a dead horse but you did ask, thank you for that and sorry about being whiny.
My first impression was that it’s a 6/10 game. I think now upon replaying it two times, the score is even lower. It’s a very mid game that’s also clearly a salvaged product from a long and erratic production cycle. It has some good lore, some good writing, but it’s hidden almost entirely in optional side quests, subtext and the tiny margins of the text. 
Overall its way too much of a high stakes/low tension kind of game for me. It’s fun and it never truly grabs me except for the bits that are about previous characters. I don’t care about Rook. I like them well enough for a protag, I can fill them with headcanon to make them real but I would easily sacrifice them at the end without a second thought. There’s no pull, no tension, nothing to hold on to. I've tried to write fic about Rook but I just don't know anything about this person apart from the fact that they're very young and likes to say the word team a lot. Maybe Rook works in HR.
For all its high stakes, the game also repeatedly fails to show me these stakes. It keeps telling me how important it is, how busy we are and during the Siege of Weisshaupt and Blood of Arlathan, I really do feel it, momentarily. Those quests have weight to them, and they are tied in with the overall narrative of the series. We know the wardens, we know the Dalish. They matter. 
“Sometimes it takes the wrong sort to put it right,” the game says and doesn’t even dare to show me a single shred of moral ambiguity in Rook. Call me annoying but I don’t necessarily want to feel like a hero. I don’t need to feel morally righteous about my player character. I want the narrative to be complex and challenge me and hold compassion for the world it’s telling me about, dare me to change my mind about its characters and their various plights. What if the hero is wrong? What if the world is too complex to be reduced to simple choices? What if the trusted mentor lies and the liar tells the truth? What then? Somewhere in the far distance DAV wants to offer some complexity but hey we have EVIL ANCIENT GODS TO FIGHT YO! I actually hate the tone. I said early on that it’s one of my main gripes and I stand by it.  It’s chipper and full of HR-department tidiness and in general it just doesn’t move me because it’s just telling, not showing me the emotions. THIS IS THE EMOTION CALLED DOUBT, the game screams in my face. LET'S HAVE A TALK WITH THE TEAM TO PUT IT RIGHT. Immediately after finishing DAV, I went and played Disco Elysium and the contrast was quite honestly heartbreaking. Because the tone in that funny, sarcastic and over the top writing? It’s compassionate. It wants to be truthful about what it’s like to be a human living in a broken, inhuman world. It cares. Veilguard more often feels like an action movie revenge plot where you get to punch some EVIL ANCIENT GODS in the face because they want to drown the world in demons, man, let’s just leave it at that lol omg you can even PUNCH Solas lol whatever thanks bye.  
I also just find the text flat. It doesn’t have the transtextuality I’ve come to appreciate in the other DA games, it doesn’t play much with differences in dialogue for the different characters - like making one stand out as being anachronistic or having a different way of expressing themselves or being very unlike the others in some fundamental ways, it doesn't challenge and/or characterize through banter in the way the other DA games have done and it doesn’t give us companions that seek meaningful conflict or are difficult to understand. Veilguard is the only DA game where I haven’t felt any kind of strong emotional reaction while interacting with the companions, and while you could argue that this is a good thing because teamwork and professionalism or whatever, I’d say that for a text, this is a factor that makes it flat. No great piece of writing has only likable characters capable of self-reflection because no actual human being is only likable or not likable to everyone and by god are actual humans not always capable of self-reflection. In fact, some humans shy away from it for entire lifetimes.
The story of DAV is consistent in its themes, yes. It’s just that it’s also without nuance and - again - without stakes. The companion quests raise big moral dilemmas but the answers are so bland they might as well just be ignored. The outcome changes nothing, doesn’t affect the characters. There’s no price to be paid for becoming first talon, no punishment for being a lich, it’s just another wardrobe choice. Should I wear blue or black, perhaps become an immortal creature? No matter darling, you are always adorable. I think most of all the state of the game is a testament of a really fucking tragic industry that doesn’t care enough about storytelling and authenticity or its workers. I think it’s clear that the writers were trying very hard but I also think it’s clear that it wasn't the narrative the powers that be decided to focus on.  The DA fandom at large, quite frankly, has always just made me exhausted and miserable. I think a lot of the criticisms of DAV have been unhinged. I think a lot of the defences of the game have been so deranged that it makes me wheeze as I read them out loud to my husband. I’ve seen plenty of people dragging up some 17 year old noob’s post from the depths of reddit just to do some edgy take about how stupid people are for disliking the game and it’s just been so many bad faith takes. Overall, I’m truly sorry to say, I have no desire to play this game anymore nor do I feel very tempted to play the other DA games. I’m happy to see that my mutuals are having fun - I wish I felt anything stronger than oh well about the new characters, but I don’t. Maybe I will not be this actively bored in the future and pick it up again, but for now, no. I'll try to finish my fanfic and then probably be done for good with this fandom.
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hyperfixingfr · 1 day ago
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Hey guys, just a quick warning on the user makiyaaaahm who you may have seen in the tags recently with disturbing content (disclaimer; do not harass, just report + block)
There's a kid below the age of Tumblr usage (11 years old) going around the fandom and posting disturbing content that depicts them and glorifies them as a murderer that they are posting untagged. I attempted to speak to them about how this behavior is unacceptable and hurting people, but they spent the entire time shouting at me venting to me about how they're so mentally ill and can't help but draw themselves as a glorified killer, before proceeding to deny that they were venting to me or glorifying themselves as a murderer. It really disgusted me as someone who is mentally ill because this isn't acceptable behavior in a fandom with such a demographic that NEEDS to have this sort of content tagged. I tried to tell them that this was unacceptable and they can't deny responsibility for how they're hurting other people just because they're mentally ill and that they need to get help and find ways to heal so they aren't suffering anymore, but eventually they blocked me because they didn't want to listen. The behavior they displayed and the way they spoke to me was really disturbing and I worry about this kid being engaged with on here. Please just block and report them. I tried my best to push them towards getting help but like I said, they blocked me. If you want to send them resources so they can get help I wouldn't be against it but otherwise don't engage and just simply report and block. I don't like knowing that someone this unstable is online at SUCH a young age and I really want you guys to steer clear of this person so they aren't negatively influenced any further. I can't force them offline and I don't intend to, but they really shouldn't be here if they can't even come into a social space without spewing out triggering and glamorized material of horrific topics into a kids fandom. Really, they shouldn't be here given their age. They're not stable. Someone else (who also isn't a good person but we won't get into that) seems to have told them off as well in asks but that didn't get through to them either. I only said something because I got a direct notification of them reblogging something with disturbing text.
And before the usual "why are you bUlLyInG a child" anon ask comes in... Children need to be held accountable and given appropriate consequences and I've already held them accountable. They openly admitted to not wanting to do anything about this with excuses so the best option for consequences that aren't unfair or rude is to make sure people aren't engaging with them until they stop with their extremely harmful behaviors. They don't get a pass for their behavior even with mental illness (as someone with mental illness) because there's a difference between struggling and acting on bad stuff + making others suffer. I would even excuse it if they had been like "omg sorry I was having a mental break" but they only tried to defend themselves having done it by being like "I'm just mentally ill I can't help it" lol. And again children need to be held responsible for their actions or else they grow into adults who think they can do whatever they want
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bbywtfamidoing · 2 days ago
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My brain is infected so yours should also be infected. (If you want to count this as an idea or a request PLEASE feel free but I also just really wanna share) sorry if it’s kinda long
Smosh doing like a really big charity stream, it's like 24 hour sleepover themed and Damien's there and reader is like crew or something and at one point they all decide to play a brand new game on live, that the reader is like OBSESSED with, but reader is also kind of insecure about talking about there hyper-fixations/infodumping/feel like they talk to much and are annoying or something so they have a hard time talking about there interests with others, but Damien is perceptive like that (He’s so in love with them it’s unfair) so he knows they at the very least like, and have played the game before so they invite her over to sit and play on stream with them and she sits next to Damien and they both end up just geeking out all night while playing and reader tries to like apologize and be like ‘im sorry if I talk to much about this you can just tell me to shut up if you need to haha’ and Damien’s like ‘no I like listening to you talk, this is great’ and eventually everyone else is like ‘nah man youre commentary is actually making this game make WAY more sense lol’ and eventually at some point as it gets later reader is the cuddly affectionate, giggly type of tired and ends up falling asleep on Damien and Damien’s like 😮 “what do I do??” L
they're both crushing on each other so hard but neither of them have said anything and they’re both so comfy and cozy and pretty and cute in their PJs and it’s so fluffy and cute and PDBSOBFLABDOSBCONS
I am unwell. Thank you for listening <3
You’re so real for this- and my friend I’ve done it. I may continue this at some point but I’ll post what I have here!! Hope you enjoy!!!
When they found out that The Last of Us was being played it was chaos at Smosh, so as soon as they were approached about being apart of the stream to help with parts that they could get stuck in- they were all in. Jacked in and ready to play, Shane and Spencer sat with Courtney and Damien and you sat together and eventually Amanda arrived to set with drinks for all. The games screen was on and the animation of a old broken down window with a curtain blowing in the wind, it was time to play and Damien held the controller as it started snd the subtitles were on screen as Amanda watched intently, with a quirked eyebrow as she processed the introduction to the fireflies. Now what the part they were all waiting for, the story- but Amanda asked questions consistently “Actually, it’s not a normal zombie outbreak like walking dead! It’s based off of a strange fugus called Cordyceps that kills bugs and basically eats at their brain so that the fungus can basically shoot out spores to spread it quicker. But any and all bread products is where the outbreak began-“ they paused and felt their face flush at the explosion of information
They seemed to go quiet as the game started, playing as Sarah as she woke up at the phone ringing. Shane carefully moved to joystick as he was prompted to, Courtney looked at them “Hey- we don’t mind you know? It gives us more story to follow.” They smiled at the other and nodded “thank you Court.” Damien carefully set a hand on their arm “I like hearing you talk about stuff you enjoy.” He spoke softly as they leaned forward and watched the screen intently.
Some time passed as Shane panicked and played Joel as he ran with Sarah in his arms after the car accident, You made quick work of explaining where to go so he didn’t get killed fast- he screamed at the Q to E and shoved the zombie away.
A group all speaking quickly and getting nervous as they were shoved into the bar by Tommy as he made his way around the bar to meet them. Making quick work as they ran down the hill and the SWAT officer yelled, quickly you sat up and watched the scene intently. Knowing exactly what was going to happen as Damien watched as the screaming and yelling at the screen began- Shane’s mouth hung open as Courtney leaned against him with a hand over their mouth
Tears in others eyes over the scene, as it lead to the screen the load into the game. Quickly you picked up “They had to retake this scene so many times that Hana Hayes the actress- who was 14 at the time of doing mo-cap was emotionally exhausted by the end of it. Oh! And the actor that voices- Joel voiced by Troy Baker was the youngest to audition for his role!” Damien nodded as he listened intently and Courtney smiled “That’s impressive work though- I think if I was alone I’d be sobbing-“ they chuckled softly wiping at their eyes as Spencer rubbed their back to console them.
A few hours in and the stream was getting pretty long at this point, you did your best to keep your eyes open but being around friends always made you feel safe and comfortable as you leaned against Damien who happily let you and hummed, after about another 30 minutes the stream was getting set hi to focus on another group and Damien moved to look at you and paused “Uh- are they asleep?” He didn’t wanna risk waking them up and quirked an eyebrow up as Courtney nodded and Shane covered his mouth “I was wondering where the facts and stuff went- we’re kinda keeping me off edge playing.” You heard them talking about you and groaned as you shifted and wrapped an arm around Damien and rolled your eyes “You guys suck-“ you huff and look up to see Damien looking down at you with a soft smile as you nuzzled against his chest to hide from his gaze and force the flush from your face to go away. Shane laughed and Courtney playfully ‘awed’ as Damien wrapped his arm around you “This is bullying-“ he joked and you chuckled as you sat up “We can play more later- it’s past my bedtime I’m such an old man.” The stream moved over to Angela, Arasha, Noah, Kieth, Ian and Anthony. Thy were playing the Quiet game and Ian was holding the noodle and had the blindfold on since he won the last pit challenge game.
The gaming group went to go get food and get into comfy clothes quickly, Damien in a baggy Smosh Tee-shirt and pajama pants, you in a tank top and a purple fuzzy sweatshirt that had bunny ears attached at the hood with matching pajama shorts. He saw you and his smile brightened for a moment but as soon as you look at him his gaze quickly moved away as he ignore the heat in his cheeks at just how cute you looked. You watched him for a few moments and approached him and playfully poked his chest “Hope I don’t look to ridiculous.” You chuckled as Courtney, Spencer and Shane came out in onesies- Eeyore (Shane, it was the biggest one they could find that wouldn’t rip at the seams) , Winnie the Pooh (Spencer, cause I mean come on) and Piglet (Courtney cause they knew they could make it match their makeup for the day.)
Shane moved forward and looked at you “Hey, your stealin Spencer’s vibe!” He teased softly as you turned and squinted at him and poked his chest “Fucker- I look more like Bonnie then I do any Winnie the Pooh character.” You huffed dramatically as Courtney saw you “Yes! Bonnie core!”
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thatgoddamngingerundercut · 10 months ago
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Run BTS Challenge Suga and Jimin
bonus:
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ismyteadoneyet · 3 months ago
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“[...] tell me what you’ve got there...?” Furina said, sheepishness turning to perplexity. “... Food?” Arlecchino asked matter-of-factly, trying to disguise her nervousness behind a serious façade.  “Do you intend for us to eat an entire gramophone, and how did it even get here?!” Furina exclaimed. “I carried it.” “YOU CARRIED… AN ENTIRE GRAMOPHONE… OVER HERE???”  - 'Guilt of the helpful' by @draconicstella88888, chapter 7
I know what you're thinking; "What is that ???? Fanart of another franchise???? Could it be done?????". I would be as shocked as you are, if not for the fact that This Moment in the glorious ArleFuri fanfic linked above, written by my beloved bestie @draconicstella88888, leads up to what might be one of the most stunning parts of writing I have ever read. Genuinely had me at a loss for words when I first read it, which I will brag about being one of the first ones to do, because I have been handed the honors of actually beta reading this beautiful story !!
If you haven't already, take this as a sign that y'all should read this too! You don't even have to know anything about the game lore to enjoy it enough to have scenes live in your head rent-free for days and weeks and months on end. Take me as an example of that lol <333
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 11 months ago
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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
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icewindandboringhorror · 9 months ago
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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sherlock-is-ace · 1 month ago
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#welp... 12hs in and i've already had my first frustration cry of the year#it's gotta be a new record lol#it's just lovely when you're talking and you're being interrupted for THE ENTIRE anecdote#and believe me i'm trying to power through the interruptions and pick up the thing again#like i'm doing my best! and i'm way better at it than I was#but i found that doing that doesn't stop the interruptions it just lefts me feel like an absolute idiot for not shutting up#and after the millionth time it happened#when even when I was able to speak i could see the other person looking completely at a different thing#and i could SEE the wheels turning in their head because they were thinking about whatever they were gonna say and interrupt me#when i finally stopped talking because what the fuck was the point#i have people getting angry AT ME#because ''oh i'm sorry i though you had finished talking...''#IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE?!#oh yeah sure i always finish talking in the middle of a sentence and also i always finish talking 500 times within one anecdote#yeah sure it was me of course I gave the signal...#if they were actually listening to me they would know one does not finish an anecdote in the middle of a new sentence#and also if they were actually hearing the contents of what i was saying... they would know i wasn't done#but anyways i left in silence (and then started crying idk why lol) because i didn't want to bring anything up#and then got people upset WITH ME?!#you know what? the powering through conversations and picking it up after being interrupted isn't working#i'm gonna revert back to just never saying anything cause what's the fucking point?!#angel talks#personal#first bummer post of the year lol
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oceanwithouthermoon · 10 months ago
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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dimonds456-art · 9 months ago
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Maladaptive daydreaming.
#daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive behaviors#maladaptive coping#dissociation#immersive daydreaming#dimond speaks#yeah so adding this to my list here lol#my therapist helped me realize i dissociate a LOT and the primary way i do it is through vivid daydreams#they usually happen at work but they also pop up if i'm having a bad day or... anytime really.#i've also come to the realization that i have at least one of these a day which is not good fgsjh#my therapist says they're not inherently bad especially since they do have a positive effect on my emotions (if its a good daydream)#but it's gotten to the point that it's affecting the way i work#and they can last for a LONG time too#i haven't timed them but i do know they've been over 30 minutes at work before#this is either due to ADHD autism PTSD or a mixture of the three lmao#weeeee#anyway. this post isn't really intended to be a vent post#it's more like a 'this is my experience' type post#it just kinda comes across as somewhat vent-y#but that was because i wanted to try and immerse the reader into what its like to have these daydreams#like mine look NOTHING like this but making it more generic would help others understand it#the void is the general dissociation from reality#then you emerge in the dream#i can feel things as if i'm there- the sun the wind and sometimes even physical touch#and i'll stay there until something snaps me out#strangely i can get my work done while i'm doing this- i just wont have any memory of doing so. it's like being on autopilot#anyway. I hope this post was helpful to someone out there#if you also maladaptive daydream YOU ARE NOT ALONE! it's valid and you're not 'faking' anything. it's a genuine trauma response.
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sysig · 2 months ago
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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quinn-pop · 1 year ago
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im not sure what happened to me but suddenly i love queen ripple and she’s my new dress up doll
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anyway, let’s talk about her!!
taking the fact that ribbon’s name is ribbon entirely too far (and going off their designs) i think it’d be cool if ripple star fashions leaned into frills, bows, and long or exaggerated silhouettes
since the planet is literally just a heart shape i imagine their aesthetics lean into that sort of romantic and elegant vibe. a lot of ivory, pinks, and reds
(ripple dresses up a little different to see her friends tho)
also flower and butterfly motifs. because they’re fairies of course <3
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think it’d be a little ironic if butterflies were a symbol of beauty and all that…
also she’s friends with carol and dedede. they can go to pta meetings or something /j
(taranza can come sometimes too because he’s cool and it makes sense to me)
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btw ripple star probably exports a lot of silks (because silkworms in a land of butterflies feels right) and luxury items whereas dreamland is more agriculture focused + maybe some livestock and furs
…yeah i’m saying these places reflect their rulers basically. ripple star can be a little more traditional and whatnot. that’s what makes ripple so endeared to her dreamland friends—they’re silly! and yeah, tragic princess angle, it’s my favorite trope—i think that would really pull at her heart
i won’t get into that right now, but i gotta imagine getting possessed gives you a lot to think about lol
…gah i have so many thoughts on this
there isn’t much to go off of in canon, sure, but i think there’s a lot of interesting directions something like that could go ^^
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 4 months ago
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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