#i know others have done it but i wanted to do it my way lol
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starlightkun · 2 days ago
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⇢ word count: 16.3k ⇢ genre: fluff, college au, brother's best friend trope, christmas/holiday themed, baseball player!jisung, rich kids!reader and chenle, part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon ⇢ warnings: chenle and reader are annoying as hell together lol (they love each other but would die before saying ily), everyone’s parents suck!, only minor proof-reading bc i wanted to post for christmas, FAKE pro baseball players mentioned (idk anything abt baseball and was not going to research any real baseball players and be wrong abt them ok) ⇢ extra info: this is part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, three short, unrelated fics starring jisung all with cheesy hallmark christmas movie-esque premises. there’s no continuing plotline between fics in this series, they’re all standalone fics ⇢ author’s note: ok so this one isn’t exactly “short” but as always, i got carried away. im just happy i got this one out in time and it didn’t end up being 20k+ lmao. anyway, this is my last fic of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, and of 2024, and i hope you guys had as much fun reading them as i did writing them! happy holidays and i will be back with even more fics in 2025! ⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon
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“I know what you’ve been trying to do this whole time. You’re not ‘very into baseball,’ you’re into Jisung.”
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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20
Clicking the ‘submit’ button for your last final paper of the semester, you let out a sigh of relief. You were done, for now. The time in the corner of your laptop read 10:58 p.m. You’d submitted with an hour to spare. Usually, you hated cutting it so close, but four of your five classes this semester had assigned fifteen-page papers, and you wanted to take your time researching, outlining, drafting, and editing all of them before the deadlines.
There were only a few other students scattered around the library so late on the last academic day of the semester. One table away from you was another student, a boy who had also been hard at work on his laptop for the greater part of the past four hours. You had seen him around campus, not in any meaningful way, but enough that his face was familiar to you. And tonight, you had been stealing glances at him—when he let out a groan or a sigh that rang a little too loud in the dead silence, pushed his hoodie off his head to reveal his dark hair and handsome features, or stood up from his chair to go to the vending machine around the corner and walk around the library to stretch his obscenely long legs. Yeah, you’d done a bit of ogling, you also needed a break every now and then.
He was still typing away at his laptop when you had packed up for the night and were heading out, your path taking you right by his table. You were never usually this bold, but maybe it was the rush from finally being done with finals week, or how late it was, but you found yourself stopping next to the end seat the cute boy was occupying.
Upon realizing that you were there, he looked at you with wide, uncertain eyes, slowly taking his headphones off. “Hm?”
“Are you going to be here till closing?” You asked him knowingly, a playful smile on your lips and bag of gummy candy in your hands. You had bought it during a vending machine break earlier in the night but never ended up opening it.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m hoping only another thirty minutes…”
“Here.” You offered the candies out to him. “I’m done for the night.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” You set them down next to his laptop. Not wanting to take up any more of his waning time left to submit his assignment, you started off towards the exit again. “Good luck. Have a good break.”
“You too…”
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SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21
“You didn’t get his number?!” Your roommate gasped in horror after you told her about the cute guy from the library. She had been asleep when you got home last night, and now the two of you were packing in preparation for your respective winter break plans. Sooyoung was heading back home while you and your brother would be driving to meet your parents at your family’s winter house in the mountains.
“Or his name,” you confirmed sadly. “I mean, the poor guy only had an hour left of the semester to submit whatever he was working on, there was no way he would’ve wanted me wasting it.”
“You have got to find him when we get back.”
“I’ll try,” you agreed.
There was a long honk from outside your dorm, and you rolled your eyes before peering out your window. Sure enough, your brother’s sleek black SUV was outside.
“Alright, I’ll see you in two weeks, Soo.” You hugged your roommate goodbye. Before you could even grab your bag, there was another obnoxiously long honk, followed by a series of shorter honks.
You immediately videocalled your brother.
Chenle picked up, already complaining. “Y/N, hurry up! You always take forever—”
“Shut the fuck up!” You retorted, flipping off the camera. “You’re so fucking annoying, I swear to—”
He laid on the horn again, and you could hear complaints start up outside from other people yelling at him to shut the fuck up. Then, you swore you heard another voice in Chenle’s car, quietly suggesting that he stop, but it was too indistinct for you to properly identify.
“Who was that?” You squinted at him suspiciously.
“I told you I was bringing a friend—”
“I know, I meant which one?”
“Get your slow ass down here and find out, or we’re leaving you!” With that, he hung up.
You pocketed your phone with a quiet scream, then turned to your roommate. “Ugh! Can you believe we’re related?”
“Yes,” she answered immediately, not even looking at you.
Hauling your stuff downstairs by yourself, you were a little out of breath by the time you shoved the front door of your dorm open. Your duffel bag started slipping down your shoulder, and as you readjusted that, you weren’t even looking out for the uneven slab of concrete that you knew stuck up in front of the entrance. Your toe caught on it, and you let out an unfortunate ‘eep!’ as you tripped forward. Your bag slid off your shoulder again, catching on your elbow and swinging around, the weight making you stumble a little more. You stayed upright, and you were thankful that only your brother and his friend saw all that. Yeah, Chenle was going to tease you for the entire three-hour car ride, and Mark or whoever was coming with would definitely get in on the ribbing, but you had plenty of dirt on them too. It was the natural order of things.
“Clumsy ass,” Chenle yelled at you from the car, the driver’s side window rolled down. You flipped him off on instinct. “Jisung, go help her before she hurts herself.”
Jisung. That was a new one. Admittedly, you didn’t know all of your brother’s friends, you two ran in different circles at school. You were usually introduced them in passing if you happened to run into each other at events, or some you knew from before college, like Jeno and Jaemin, the twins who lived next door to you guys growing up, or Mark and Donghyuck, who you all went to high school with.
A car door opened and closed before a tall figure was walking around the front of the car to meet you on the sidewalk. You blinked in surprise as you recognized Chenle’s friend that was approaching you, and not because of your brother. The cute boy from the library was standing in front of you, seemingly having a similar sense of déjà vu as he froze, hand already outstretched, reaching for your duffel bag.
“Hey again,” you chuckled, putting your bag strap in his hand. “Did you get everything turned in on time?”
“Yeah, I did.” Jisung unfroze and smiled at you, and you swore the sun seemed dim in comparison. “Thanks for the candy, by the way. Completely forgot to tell you that.”
“It’s okay, you were busy.”
“I’m Jisung, by the way.”
You nodded towards your brother’s car. “I had guessed.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Right.”
“I’m Y/N.”
“I had guessed,” he quipped back.
Chenle honked again, then yelled, “Come on!”
You rolled your eyes. “Pain in the ass.”
Chenle popped the trunk for you from his seat, and Jisung put your duffel bag in among their things that were already packed, then he took your suitcase to put away as well. As you opened the passenger door, your brother immediately shook his head.
“Nuh-uh.”
“What?” You looked at him incredulously. “I always get shotgun!”
“And Jisung gets carsick in the backseat.” He pointed at the boy standing awkwardly behind you. “I’m not having him puke all over my car. You’ll survive the backseat for once.”
Hating his condescending tone, but with no other option, you graciously stepped aside. Jisung gave you a quiet ‘sorry, thanks’ as he opened the back door for you. After buckling yourself into the middle seat and Chenle starting his music, everyone was ready to go.
“Y/N, Jisung,” Chenle made introductions over his shoulder, jabbing his thumb between you two. “Jisung’s on the baseball team and was in my bio lab last semester. Y/N is my annoying little sister.”
You kicked the back of his seat. “By ten months. As soon as you popped out, Mom and Dad were so disappointed they immediately decided to have another kid.”
“Regret saying yes yet, Jisung?” He asked his friend smugly.
Jisung, meanwhile, had been staring straight ahead at the road, clearly feeling uncomfortable as he didn’t want to get in the middle of your typical bickering.
“Ignore him, Jisung.” You leaned forward between their seats over the center console, your tone much more friendly. “So you’re on the baseball team? Do you have an athletic scholarship or something?”
“Yeah, yeah, I do,” he answered hurriedly. “Uhm, it’s the only way I could afford to go here. Full ride as long as I keep my grades up.”
You all did go to a rather expensive private university—your parents were alumni, they wouldn’t have sent you anywhere else, of course.
“Wow, so you must be really good, then.”
“I mean, I don’t know—”
“A full ride, I would think they only give those out to the best players, right?”
“Well—”
Chenle cut in, “You’re making him nervous, Y/N. Back up, for fuck’s sake.”
You didn’t back up. “Am I making you nervous, Jisung?”
“No, it’s fine,” he rushed to reassure you, finally turning around in his seat to face you. He let out a squeak as soon as he did, probably not anticipating that you’d be as close as you were. He sat back in his seat, propping himself up against his seatback on his forearm. “Uhm, it’s just that this is only gonna be my second season. Still a rookie, you know. I don’t think I’m that good.”
Jisung sort of reminded you of a little hamster when he was nervous like this, and your lips twitched with amusement. He really was cute.
“When’s baseball season?”
“Practice officially starts in January, first game’s in February.”
“Don’t you get cold out on the field?”
He shrugged self-consciously. “I mean, we’re moving around a lot. And we have hand warmers and stuff for when we’re on the bench.”
You kept eagerly asking him questions. “What position do you play?”
“Pitcher. I’m a switch pitcher—I can pitch left or right-handed—so they like that.”
“So it’s a surprise for the other team?”
“No, you have to declare which hand you’re going to pitch for each batter beforehand,” he admitted, then quickly tacked on, “But it still kinda throws them off!”
You hummed thoughtfully. “What about when you’re hitting the ball?”
“I could do either, but I prefer my right.”
“You’re never this interested in my friends,” Chenle interrupted accusatorily.
“Because I already know like, way too much about the twins, Hyuck, and Mark. Wish I could unlearn some of it, actually,” you snorted. “And you’ve been trying to get me into sports for our whole lives. What’s the problem?”
“Basketball,” your brother corrected you. “I’ve been trying to get you to watch basketball with me. Jisung plays baseball. Wrong sport.”
“Stop talking to me like I’m five,” you snapped, kicking his seat again.
“Stop kicking my seat like a five-year-old and I might,” he retorted.
You scowled at the back of his big head.
“I can see you pouting in the rearview mirror.”
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, flopping back against your seat.
“Saw that too.”
“Wasn’t trying to hide it!” You snipped back childishly. Turning your focus back to Jisung, who was looking out the passenger window, you asked, “Is he like this to you, Jisung?”
“Don’t answer that,” Chenle directed him before the other boy could open his mouth. “She’ll tire herself out.”
“Oh, you’re insufferable!” You spat. “Talking about me like I’m not even here! Or like I’m Daegal!”
“Well, Daegal is actually trained.”
“Pull the car over, I’m going to beat your ass!”
“Hey!” Surprisingly, it was the soft-spoken Jisung who raised his voice over the sounds of you two fighting, shocking both of you into silence. He continued, “Chenle, you’ve been antagonizing Y/N ever since we pulled up in front of her dorm, man. Then you act like she’s crazy for being pissed off at you. It’s honestly pissing me off.”
Chenle huffed loudly, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel, before he finally said, “Fine. Sorry, Y/N.”
“Yeah, whatever. Thanks for apologizing because Jisung told you to.” You unbuckled and scooted over to the seat behind Jisung, buckling back in and looking out the window at the scenery rushing by.
The car was silent other than Chenle’s music, which he turned up as you pulled out your phone.
[you: i found out cute library guy’s name]
[soosoo: omfg the cia has nothing on u]
[soosoo: SPILL]
[you: i didn’t stalk him, turns out he’s my brother’s friend. his name is park jisung and he’s on the baseball team]
[soosoo: your brother’s friend that you’re going to be ALL ALONE WITH in the mountains for the next TWO WEEKS???]
[you: not ALL ALONE, chenle will be there, remember?]
[soosoo: unfortunately]
[soosoo: WAIT i found him on the team’s roster online and WHEW GIRL]
[soosoo: attached image.]
It was a screenshot of Jisung’s athlete profile on the university’s sports page. The small ID photo he had on there honestly did him no justice.
[soosoo: how is ur brother always friends w the HOTTEST GUYS who ALSO PLAY SPORTS????]
[soosoo: i need him to hook me up fr]
[you: don’t tell me ur thinking abt jeno and jaemin rn]
[soosoo: always]
[you: u don’t need chenle to hook u up if u rlly want, im friends with them too??]
[soosoo: YOU WOULD????]
[you: but you’d have to pick one]
[soosoo: god i am not your strongest soldier]
[you: exactly what i thought]
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At the mountain cabin, you three were the first ones there, of course. You parents wouldn’t be arriving until Christmas Eve due to their work schedules. The house was already decorated like something straight out of a Hallmark movie—lights, red and green bows, candy canes, baubles, and other decorations all throughout.
“Wow,” Jisung breathed out, stopping in the foyer and turning around, his eyes wide as he took it all in. “Your parents are really into Christmas, huh?”
“Not really.” You had also stopped to watch his slow circle of awe. “They pay somebody to set it up.”
The wonder dropped off his face and was replaced with confusion, his brow furrowing. Chenle yelled for him from further in the house, and you jerked your head for him to follow. Your brother was at the threshold of the hallway where all your rooms were located.
“Yours is there,” Chenle pointed Jisung to one end of the hallway as you slipped by him to head to the bedroom at the other end. “Y/N’s is on the other side.”
“We share a bathroom,” you called over your shoulder as you opened the door. “Don’t use all the hot water in the morning!”
“And I’m upstairs.” Your brother indicated to a small ladder between Jisung’s room and the bathroom in the middle. “I got the loft. Won it in rock-paper-scissors almost two decades ago.”
“You cheated!” You reminded him loudly from where you had started unpacking your things in your room.
“Sore loser!”
“Sore winner!”
“Anyway, holler if you need something.”
You were still unpacking when there was a soft knock at your open door. It was Jisung leaning in your doorway.
“Hey,” he greeted you quietly.
“Hey.” You smiled at him brightly. “Bathroom’s the middle door. We both have doors that connect to it, so knock before we go in? Even if the light is off?”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
Jisung continued silently watching you unpack, then finally blurted out, “You egg him on.”
“Huh? Who?”
“Chenle.” He held his hands up in front of him defensively as you opened your mouth. “I know he started everything back in the car, but you didn’t help.”
You sat back on your feet in front of your open suitcase and dresser drawers. “Yeah, I know I’ve got a temper problem. I need to work on it.”
“I didn’t say anything in front of him because I kind of got the feeling that he was being extra mean because I was there.”
“When we’re hanging out with friends that we kinda share, like Jeno and Jaemin or whoever, it’s fine. You know, they met both of us at the same time. But I think when we’re with people that are his friends, it’s different,” you explained, gesturing to an armchair in the corner for Jisung to sit in while you talked. “We were always in the same grade and stuff, so obviously people assumed we were twins. That’s also why he really gets on the ‘little sister’ thing. When we got to college, we were both relieved to finally be different people, you know? Have different friends, different things that were ours.”
“You seem to understand him really well.”
“Known him my whole life,” you pointed out. “And just because I understand why he acts like this doesn’t mean it still doesn’t piss me the fuck off.”
“To answer your question from the car, no, he doesn’t treat me like that. He’s sarcastic, sure, but not like that.”
Zipping up your empty suitcase, you started on your duffel bag that was on your bed. “Sorry you had to deal with us like that, even more so that you had break us up. I’m sure the next two weeks were flashing before your eyes, huh?”
“Honestly, I’m just glad you didn’t actually start beating him up,” he chuckled.
“Me too, that would’ve been embarrassing.” You added, “For him. To get his ass beat in front of one of his buddies.”
He looked out the room down the hallway, checking to see if Chenle was coming, then admitted, “Don’t tell him, but I was sort of calculating how many swings to let you get in before it would look unreasonable for me to not intervene.”
“Oh really? And how many would you have ‘let me’ have?” You grinned, using finger quotes over ‘let me.’
“One good punch and a hair pull, I think.” He looked to be sizing you up, a teasing glint in his eye. “You seem like you fight dirty like that.”
“Could claim you didn’t want to hurt your friend’s little sister, let me get a few more in.” You mimicked punching and kneeing the air. “At least let me knee him in the balls.”
“I’ll consider it in the event you two do actually brawl while we’re here.”
You looked up at the ceiling, thinking about your brother up there somewhere. “Eh, we’ll make up properly soon. One thing about us, we fight a lot, but it’s never for that long.”
“Okay, now I’m worried about the next two weeks.”
You laughed, maybe a little harder than his joke warranted, but you couldn’t help it—he was cute, he was funny, and he was making your chest feel tighter and your head spin faster the longer you were around him.
“Why are you in here?” Chenle had appeared in your doorway, looking genuinely perturbed at the visage of Jisung sitting in your chair.
“Because we’re talking?” You answered for him. “Or is he only allowed to talk to you while he’s here and I have to take a vow of silence?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” he snickered, walking in and flopping on your bed.
“You first.”
“You want to do lunch in town then get the tree?” He checked the time on his phone. “Mom and Dad know how much you like Christmas tree shopping so that’s the only thing not done.”
“Or is it just another responsibility to pawn off on someone?” You snorted, opening the door into the adjoining bathroom to put your toiletry bag away.
Your brother’s distant voice called after you, “Even if it is, we can still have fun!”
You took a deep breath, and came out of the bathroom with a smile on your face. “You’re right. Let’s do it.”
“Ew, stop that, it’s creepy.” Chenle threw a pillow at you.
You caught it and chucked it right back at him. “What? Smiling?”
It hit him in the face before falling to the floor. “Yeah, exactly. I’m done trying to cheer you up, keep being a little Grinch, it suits your face better.”
You climbed on the bed and grabbed a pillow to smack him with it. “Quit being fucking rude!”
He laughed and cackled, rolling away from your pillow attack until his eyes went wide with panic as he went right over the edge of the mattress and landed on the floor. It was your turn to burst into laughter at the sound he made, and when he started groaning and complaining, you knew he was fine. Jisung was also laughing from his seat.
You finally gathered yourself enough to peer over the edge of the bed, looking down at where Chenle was sprawled out dramatically like a cartoon character that had been crushed by an anvil. As soon as he looked at you, he started giggling too.
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“What about this one?” Mr. Song, the elderly man who had run the Christmas tree farm in town for as long as your family had been coming for the holidays, was showing you around to the various trees they had for sale.
“Ah, too skinny.” You shook your head. “We have a lot of ornaments. And a vaulted ceiling too, so we can get a taller one.”
“Right, of course. How could I forget?” His eyes crinkled fondly as he walked you around by the elbow. “You and your brother have gotten so big, Y/N. I remember when you two were up to my knee. Always playing hide and seek in the trees.”
“We used to think you were Santa Claus,” you giggled, gesturing to his big, bushy beard. “We told everyone we knew that we got our Christmas tree from Santa every year.”
“Good to see that Chenle and your boyfriend get along so well.” He nodded to where Chenle and Jisung were throwing snowballs at each other. More accurately, Jisung was pelting them at Chenle with scary precision, and Chenle was doing his best to throw some back in between peals of laughter.
“Oh, Jisung is Chenle’s friend from school, he’s not my boyfriend,” you clarified quickly.
“My mistake.” Mr. Song patted your arm.
After circling the next one Mr. Song showed you, you were content, inspecting how dense the branches were, the height, and general shape.
“Guys!” You yelled out to get Chenle and Jisung’s attention. They ceased their (unfair) battle, meandering over to you. “What do you think?”
Chenle gave it a once-over before nodding. “Great pick as always, Y/N.”
“Is that going to fit through the front door?” Jisung asked skeptically, trying to fit his arms around it to gauge the size.
“It will,” you promised as Chenle pulled out his checkbook.
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Two of Mr. Song’s grandsons brought the tree up to the cabin in their truck, and you had to open both front doors all the way for them to carry it in. They got it set up in the corner for you, and you sent them on their way with an extra cash tip.
“We’ve got to let the branches settle before we can decorate it,” you advised Jisung. “So we’ll do that tomorrow.”
“Y/N’s got a whole thing about the tree,” Chenle added from one of the couches, turning the TV on.
“Smells nice,” Jisung piped up.
“Did your family have real trees or artificial ones?” You asked, taking up the other couch.
Jisung seemed to momentarily panic about where to sit, before taking the empty space at the end of Chenle’s couch, facing you. “A fake one. It came with the lights already on. Easier for my mom to set up.”
“One or two?” Chenle asked abruptly.
“What?”
“Two!” You answered, and Chenle immediately played a movie from whatever streaming service he was scrolling through. You went to fill Jisung in, “It’s a game we like to play. One of us will assign numbers to things in our head without telling the other, and you have to reply with a number without really knowing what you’re picking.”
“I couldn’t decide which movie to watch,” Chenle added.
“So, instead of a coin flip, you used Y/N?” Jisung clarified.
“Sort of. You can do it for more than two options. Like…” You tilted your head back and forth as you tried to think of one on the spot. As soon as you had, you perked up. “One, two or three?”
“Three?”
“Hot chocolate it is.” You stood up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen.
Jisung turned in his seat to keep you in his eyesight. “Wait, what were the options?”
“That’s part of the fun.” You smiled. “Sometimes you never know.”
A few minutes later, you came back into the room with three mugs of hot chocolate, and handed one each to Chenle and Jisung before sitting back on your couch.
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Several movies, rounds of various video games, and large pizzas later, you were beat. Standing up from your couch, you stretched and started grabbing everyone’s plates.
“I’ll get these if you guys put the food away?”
Chenle gave you a thumbs-up, his eyes locked on his phone screen.
“Night!” You tossed back over your shoulder as you traipsed out of the room.
“Night!” Your brother echoed.
“Goodnight!” Jisung replied.
As soon as you were bundled up in your blankets in your room, you videocalled Sooyoung. She picked up, the familiar scenery of her childhood bedroom in the background.
“Hey!” She beamed. “How was day one? Kill Chenle? Make any moves on cute library guy?”
“We know his name now, Soo!” You laughed.
“But a nickname is so fun and mysterious!”
“I did almost kill Chenle in the first ten minutes of the car ride,” you groaned. “Jisung surprisingly came to my defense.”
“Your brother’s friend took your side against him? Wow…”
“He’s really sweet, he’s making an effort to be my friend too.”
“Friend? Or something else?” She waggled her eyebrows.
“I don’t know, it’s been one day,” you giggled, rolling over onto your back. “Anyway, how’s your family?”
You stayed up chatting for another hour before finally going to sleep, giddy with thoughts of what could happen tomorrow.
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SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22
In the morning, with no alarm for class to get you up, you woke up, rolled over, and went back to sleep several times. Eventually, you decided that it was time to get up, and slowly shuffled out of your room. Chenle was already up, by the stove cooking something. Jisung was nowhere in sight, probably still sleeping.
Upon hearing your footsteps, he looked over his shoulder. “Morning.”
You grunted back.
“Mom called.”
You made another noise of acknowledgment, still rubbing sleep out of your eyes as you lumbered over to your seat at the table. Your brother set a plate of pancakes down in front of you, and you squinted up at him suspiciously. Typically he would’ve made you get your own plate, or more likely, make your own food. Actually, it was kind of weird that he was up before you. He must not have gone back to sleep after talking to your mom. It wasn’t unusual for her to have called early in the morning—your parents’ work took them all around the world, and often the only free time they could find had them calling at odd hours.
“They’re not going to make it for Christmas, Y/N,” he told you softly, still standing next to your chair.
“Of course,” you scoffed, lip curling with distaste as you picked up your fork.
“They’ll be here on the 26th, and we can do everything with them then.”
“Are they staying for New Year’s?”
His silence was all the answer you needed.
“Of course,” you repeated with more venom in your tone than before, dropping your utensil back down onto the table. “What the fuck else should we have expected? Honestly, why do they even fucking bother?”
He put a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Chenle, don’t apologize for them.” You patted his hand. “It’s not your fault.” Pushing your chair back, you stood up. “I’m not hungry right now. I’m going out back.”
“I’ll save your plate.”
Shoving boots on your feet and pulling a heavier coat on, you opened the door in your bedroom that led directly out onto the back patio. It had snowed last night, so you had to shuffle through the fresh layer to get to the swing seat back here. The cold morning air bit at your nose and cheeks, and you tucked your hands into your pockets to keep them warm—you’d forgotten gloves. Sighing, you watched your breath fog up in front of your face, until your tears overtook your vision and you couldn’t see anything past them.
You pulled your knees to your chest on the porch swing, pushing your face into the thick material of your pajama pants. Why did it still hurt so bad? They did this all the fucking time.
The sound of feet crunching snow came to your ears, and you wiped at your face as you looked up at who was approaching you. It was Jisung, two steaming mugs in his gloved hands.
“Uhm, Chenle said you weren’t hungry. Does cider count?” He offered one out to you.
You chuckled, accepting it, grateful to have something warm to wrap your chilly fingers around. “No, it doesn’t. Thanks, Jisung.”
“It’s pretty out here,” he commented, looking around at the scenery. “Or not, if you want me to go back inside.”
You laughed again, gesturing to the empty half of the porch swing next to you. “You can stay.”
Jisung brushed off the snow from the rest of the porch swing before sitting down. He wedged his mug of cider between his legs and you watched him curiously as he started taking his gloves off. He offered them out to you, making you shake your head.
“I’m fine, I’ve got the cider—”
“So do I.”
“Then how about this.” You plucked one glove from him and put it on your right hand, which was holding the handle of the mug. Your left cradled the body of the mug, where all the warmth was. “Glove goes on the colder hand.”
He chuckled, slipping his remaining glove on his left, and wrapping his right hand around the mug. “Innovative.”
“Thank you.”
The smile faded as he turned more somber. “I’m sorry to hear that your parents’ plans changed.”
You took a sip of the cider, staring out at the still landscape of snow-covered trees and mountains. “Me too. You think I would be used to it by now.”
“Chenle was talking about maybe going to this ice-skating place later. If you’re feeling up to it.”
“That’s what’s nice about having him. No matter how much stupid shit we fight about, we’ve at least got each other when they do stuff like this.” You half-smiled to yourself. “You know, sometimes I think they did that on purpose. Had two kids instead of one so they wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving us alone all the time.”
The tears had come back, and you wiped at them with your bare hand, not wanting to soil Jisung’s glove that he had given you. Shaking your head at yourself, you said derisively, “I’m sure I seem pathetic to you. Rich girl crying in her family’s winter vacation home because mommy and daddy won’t make it for Christmas.”
“I don’t think you’re pathetic.”
You turned your gaze to Jisung to find him already looking at you, so sincerely, too. Swallowing down more tears, you asked, “Why aren’t you home with your family? I’m sure you’d much rather be with them than stuck here with us.”
“My parents are divorced. Every year, my dad and his wife go on some cruise for Christmas, and my mom spends it with my stepdad’s family. They say I’m welcome there, but they’re all strangers, except my mom.” He shrugged half-heartedly, blowing across the surface of his cider. “I know it’s kinda my fault too, I’m not making an effort to get to know them or whatever. But I just… don’t want to.”
“How’d you end up coming along with Chenle then?”
“Last year I stayed at school for Winter Break. Met Chenle in the spring, and when Winter Break plans came up this year, he was appalled at the idea of me eating at the dining hall for Christmas dinner.” Jisung chuckled, and you smiled fondly, able to imagine your brother’s horrified face. “It wasn’t even an offer, he decided for me.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here instead of eating dining hall food by yourself.”
“Me too.”
“And I’m sorry your parents suck too.”
“Shitty parents club.” He held his mug out to you.
You clinked your against it in a commiserative toast. “We need Chenle out here for our full membership.”
“Yeah, but this swing only fits two people…”
You smiled a little as you sipped your cider. “Then I guess it’s just us for right now.”
Jisung smiled back. “Guess so.”
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That afternoon, as promised, you three went ice skating. The local nature reserve had a lake that always froze solid, and would rent out ice skates and sell hot chocolate and other treats to earn a little extra income—free admission if you brought your own skates. You were the first one to get your skates on, and shuffled onto the frozen lake excitedly. There were a few other people out here—couples, families, groups of friends—but the area cordoned off for ice skating was big enough that everyone had plenty of room to spread out. A wide smile immediately spread across your face. Chenle knew you well, which was a blessing and a curse. He knew exactly how to push your buttons and cheer you up.
Speaking of, your brother smoothly skated up next to you, smug look on his face. “Better?”
“With a head that big, I’d hope you’d have a good idea every so often,” you teased, lightly bopping him through his beanie.
“Ungrateful.” He snapped one of your earmuffs against your head, not hard enough to hurt.
You two had been milling back and forth waiting for Jisung, and you looked back over at the bench where you’d all been tying up your skates to find him still sitting there, fiddling with the laces.
Chenle followed your gaze. “What is he doing? He had them tied when I got up, I thought he was right behind me.”
You shrugged, exiting the ice to stop in front of Jisung on the bench. “You alright?”
“Yeah, I just—” Jisung swallowed, squinting and scrunching up his nose nervously. “I’ve only been ice skating once, and I was a kid, so…”
“You don’t know how,” you finished.
“I mean—Yes.”
“Come on.” You offered out your arm out to him.
He waved his hands as he refused. “I’m going to do something stupid like fall and end up breaking your arm or—”
“No, it’ll be fine,” you assured him. “Seriously, I did ice skating lessons as a kid.”
“You did?”
“You’re in good hands, I promise.”
Jisung grabbed your arm, and using both you and the bench as leverage, stood up. He looked around warily as you patted his back.
“There you go, you got it. Now, you get to walk until you get to the ice.” As you coached him through the basics of operating his skates, you slowly guided him closer to the edge of the ice. You stepped onto the ice first, keeping a hold on both of his gloved hands for him to cautiously join you, one foot at a time.
“You didn’t think to tell us you’ve never skated?” Chenle questioned dryly as he joined you two.
“I have!” Jisung defended himself. “Once…”
“Well Y/N can teach you,” he offered you up. “She used to do lessons, till she got kicked out.”
“Wait, for what?”
You rolled your eyes at your brother just having to bring that up. Nudging Jisung forward to start moving his legs, you began relaying the story, “I called my coach a bitch to her face and refused to apologize.”
“Just because or…?”
“First of all, I was seven, so impulse control wasn’t even in my vocabulary. Second of all, she called another little girl in the class fat to her face! She had just gotten a new competition dress, it was this really pretty purple one with sparkles and stuff all over it, and the teacher told her she shouldn’t wear it because something about the pattern made her look bigger or something ridiculous. A seven-year-old! She’s just lucky she didn’t get an ice skate to the face!” Your rant picked up steam and volume as you continued, feeling freshly pissed off as you recalled the incident.
Jisung frowned, looking troubled as well. “That’s awful.”
“I know! Honestly, I’m glad I got kicked out. I hated that woman.” You pulled him away from a divot in the ice. “Watch out. Don’t want your blade getting caught in that.”
“Thanks. You seem to have retained a lot.”
“I didn’t get very far before I was booted,” you scoffed. “But I guess we still went to rinks and out here pretty frequently, so I haven’t lost the basics, at least.”
“So are we decorating the tree later?”
“Yep, should take the rest of the day.”
“Seriously?”
“We’ve got a lot of ornaments.” You snickered at his wide eyes, looking to your other side where Chenle had been skating for confirmation. Instead, your brother had disappeared. Confused, you scanned the figures on the ice, finally spotting him far ahead of you, skating backwards at an impressive speed. “He left us.”
Jisung finally detached his eyes from where they’d been glued on his feet, chuckling when he saw Chenle as well. “He’s not very patient, is he?”
“Not a virtue he was born with, no.” You turned your attention back to Jisung. “Think you’re getting the hang of it?”
His grip tightened on your arm. “If I say yes, are you going to let go of me?”
“No,” you laughed. “Not until you’re ready.”
“Oh, thank God.”
“But let’s try this.” You moved to hold both his hands, skating backwards in front of him. “Okay?”
“You can’t see behind you,” he said, nervously glancing between your face and over your shoulder.
You checked over your shoulder. It was clear, and you redirected your path to make sure you weren’t heading directly at the next closest people. “I’ve got it.”
“I feel like I’m leaning forward too much, how do I—Wah!” The distinct clank of Jisung’s skates hitting each other rang out, and he fell forward.
Not wanting him to faceplant into your skates or the ice, you braked and tensed your arms to try to keep him up. However, since you had braked and he obviously did not, his forward momentum sent him catapulting directly into you. His arms wrapped around your waist as his legs scrambled against the ice trying to find his footing again. You readjusted your hold on him to clutch him under the arms in an attempt to keep him up, but with all the layers that you were bundled up in and the slippery ice, it was a losing battle. You were a good skater, but you couldn’t haul him back to his feet like this. So you decided to just let the two of you slowly descend, squatting down until you could plant your butt on the ice and kick your feet out on either side of Jisung, careful not to hit him with your blades.
“You alright?” You asked him, pulling his beanie back from where it was entirely obscuring his eyes.
“Please tell me I’m dead,” he groaned, the half of his face that you could see was completely pink and his eyes were squeezed shut. His head was pressed against your middle as he was still clinging onto you.
“No, you survived that,” you laughed. “And so did I. No broken arms or other bones.”
“Will you kill me anyway?”
A spray of ice showered both of you as Chenle stopped next to you guys, proceeding to double over with laughter. “Clumsy ass.”
“Nice, thank you,” you scoffed, wiping off the cold ice from your face, then a couple drops that had gotten on Jisung’s cheek. “Anytime you’d like to quit being an asshole and help us up.”
“I don’t know, you two look pretty cozy to me.”
Jisung somehow turned even redder, squirming in your grasp. “Y/N, I’m sorry!”
“Chenle, shut up!” You scolded your brother. “You’re making Jisung freak out and he’s going to hurt himself!”
“You make him sound like a scared prey animal,” he snickered. Letting out a sigh, he patted his friend’s back. “Alright, Jisung, come on.”
With Chenle’s assistance, Jisung got to his feet, and you were then able to stand back up on your own. Brushing snow off your legs, you shivered, and saw that the entire front of Jisung’s pants were soaked through thanks to the ice, and you could feel that the back of your own had suffered a similar fate.
“I think that’s enough ice skating for today,” you declared. “My ass is quite literally going to freeze off if we stay out here any longer.”
Jisung nodded quickly from where he was clinging onto Chenle to stay upright now. “I’m skated out.”
“Good thing my car has heated seats then,” Chenle said, beginning to drag his friend back towards the exit.
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After a hot shower and in a fresh change of warm pajamas, you were in front of the Christmas tree with all of the boxes of decorations for it. You had already wound the lights around it when Jisung joined you in the living room, hair still damp from his shower—he’d given you first shower out of guilt.
“Hey, you know where Chenle is?” You asked, flipping open boxes of ornaments. Chenle’s loft bedroom had a private bathroom, so you figured he’d be out by now.
“He got a call—Mark, I think,” Jisung informed you.
“Oh, that’ll take an hour,” you snorted. “You can help me. Put any ornaments that have Chenle’s name on them aside, he gets to put those up whenever he’s done.”
“Any ornaments with your name are yours to put up?” He guessed, reaching into a box and pulling out an ornament in the shape of a bear with a Santa hat on. The white band of the hat had ‘Chenle’ written in cursive.
“Yep. Everything else is fair game for you. Quick tip, any bear ornaments will be Chenle’s. That’s his parent-assigned motif.”
“Got it. And what’s yours?”
You held up the honeybee ornament that you’d just fished out, letting it dangle and twist in the air, the yellow gems catching the light. “Bees. They had a theme, kind of.”
“I’ll keep an eye out.” He reached up to hang a blue and gold ornament on a higher branch, though you could feel his eyes on you as you put your own up on a middle branch. Finally, he blurted out, “Are you sure you didn’t get hurt earlier?”
“Yeah, Jisung, I’m okay,” you chuckled. “Really, we were both wearing so many layers we were practically bubblewrapped.”
He visibly relaxed. “Okay, good.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. But I crashed into you, not the other way around.”
“True, but you had a much less graceful descent.”
He visibly grimaced, a bashful smile on his face. “Mm-hm. Thank you for bringing that up again.”
“Pretty sure you brought it up again,” you teased, nudging his arm with yours as you reached in front of him to hang an ornament.
“And I would love to change the topic now.” He grabbed an ornament in the shape of a snowman.
“What’s your major?” You decided to save him this time. “You and Chenle had bio lab together, but I know he took bio for non-majors, so you’re not a STEM major either…”
Jisung made a buzzer noise, and you blinked at him in surprise. He cracked a grin as he said, “Cybersecurity.”
“Ah, so you’re a baseball jock and a little computer geek…” You nodded slowly, grabbing another ornament. “The duality of man, truly.”
“Geek?” He repeated incredulously.
“What? I think it’s cute.” You giggled and put up the glass snowflake in your hand. Then, you turned back to him hopefully. “Ooh, actually, my laptop gets possessed sometimes ever since Chenle clicked on one of those sketchy porn pop-up ads when we were fourteen. You don’t think you would be able to take a look at it sometime, would you?”
Jisung visibly sustained whiplash at your words, his head jerking back and eyes going wide before he furrowed his brows. “Wait, what? How old is your laptop? He did what to it? What do you mean it gets possessed? What exactly does it do?”
“Uhm… it’d probably be easier to show you.”
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“Y/N, this thing is old enough to drive.”
You put your hands on either side of your laptop’s screen as if you were covering its ears, giving Jisung a stern look. “Sh! You’re going to hurt her feelings!”
He continued to look at you over his glasses, entirely unamused. This was the first time you’d seen him wear them—even in the library, he’d had contacts in. Now, with him wearing his casual clothes, glasses, sitting on your bed and attempting to fix your laptop, you felt like you were going to lose it, truly. Especially when you’d catch a whiff of his shampoo, and you’d have to stop yourself from leaning in to follow the smell of cinnamon.
“Seriously, why do you still have it? Chenle has the newest Macbook,” he asked, fingers flitting across the keyboard.
“Because it works fine!” You insisted, removing your hands. “I get the internal stuff cleaned out regularly, and make sure all the software is updated and everything.”
“It still gets software updates?”
“It just… gets possessed every so often.”
“I wouldn’t call the occasional possession ‘working fine.’”
“When it’s not possessed, it works great! And it doesn’t even happen that much, only like, once a month.”
“Once a month since you were fourteen?” He squinted at you in disbelief where you were sitting on the opposite side of the laptop screen. “And you kept the damn thing?”
“No, once a month now,” you clarified. “It happened the first time when Chenle clicked on that porn ad, then maybe once a year for a few years after, and slowly started happening more and more often.”
“And he was watching porn on your computer because…?”
“So it wouldn’t be on his internet history.”
He snorted. “Of course. I should’ve realized.”
“Can I watch?”
“Oh, uhm, sure?” He readjusted to make room to his left side on the mattress, angling the laptop that way as well.
You shuffled around to the other side of the computer, dropping to lay down on your front, propping your chin up with your elbows to observe. Tilting your head, you rested it against Jisung’s knee that was next to you. His hands froze over the keys, and you lifted your head back up, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
“Sorry—Is this okay?”
“Y-Yeah, you’re fine.” He nodded quickly and pushed his glasses up as he returned his attention to the screen.
Leaning your head back against his knee, you settled in to watch him work on your laptop. You couldn’t follow what exactly he was doing to the computer, opening and closing different windows, folders, and applications. You zoned out, watching his hands and fingers deftly move over the keys instead. He was muttering to himself under his breath, his low voice pleasant to listen to even if you couldn’t make out the words he was saying. This close to him, you could smell the cinnamon better, and were starting to think that maybe it was actually a body wash or cologne.
“Y/N?” He said your name, making you snap out of a daze as you realized he was calling for you. “Hello?”
“Hm?” You perked up a little.
“We need to do an exorcism.”
That woke you all the way back up. “Wait, what?”
“Complete reset. Wipe everything and redownload the OS.”
“But I have everything on there!” You pleaded, stretching your hands over the keyboard to prevent him from doing anything else. “We’ve been through so much together! You can’t kill her!”
He sighed regretfully. “Is there an electronics store or something around here? We can get an external hard drive to back up all your personal stuff.”
“There’s a mall like an hour away. Chenle and I need to go gift shopping anyway so we can go tomorrow!”
“Why did I hear my name?” Chenle’s voice came from further down the hallway. He must have finished his call with Mark. Your brother poked his head into your room, briefly pausing when he saw you and Jisung. “I thought you guys were decorating the tree…?”
“Remember how you downloaded a virus trying to watch porn on my computer in high school? Jisung is fixing it for me,” you said pointedly, never missing an opportunity to bring that moment up. “But we need to buy something. I was telling him you and I need to go gift shopping anyway, so we can all go to that mall tomorrow.”
“Please tell me the thing you’re buying is a new laptop.”
“Never! She’s going to outlive you if I have anything to do with it!”
“Based off the fact that it sounds like a jet engine taking off right now, I’m pretty sure that was a threat on my life.”
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MONDAY, DECEMBER 23
“Okay, so you’ll need at least this much storage for the files that you have right now,” Jisung explained, motioning to a few different options of hard drives that the electronics store had. He then gestured to a few more. “But if you really want to have her until Chenle’s dead, you might want to consider some more storage.”
You grinned, bumping his shoulder affectionately. “You said ‘her.’”
He covered his mouth as he let out a sputtering laugh, his cheeks turning pink. “Oh God—I didn’t even realize. That’s—Ah, you’re rubbing off on me.”
“I like that one,” you declared, pointing to one hard drive that was a similar colorway to the laptop case you had.
“Yeah, that’s more than enough storage.”
After purchasing your hard drive, you and Jisung headed out of the electronics store together. Chenle had already gone off to gift shop on his own so you and Jisung couldn’t see what he bought you.
You turned to Jisung. “Want to help me shop for Chenle?”
“Sure.”
The two of you meandered around the mall, popping into stores that seemed promising from the outside. As you passed by a jewelry display in a window, you tapped on the glass in front of a pair of earrings.
“Those are cute,” you commented, slowing down but not stopping entirely.
“You think so?” Jisung questioned, looking at them over your shoulder as you kept walking.
“Mhm.” You nodded, then clicked your tongue. “I’d get them, but I already have a pair like them.”
“You do?”
“Yep.” Keeping your gaze on the passing storefronts, you said levelly, “I don’t want to assume anything about what you think of me, Jisung, but I want you to know that I don’t expect a present from you. We only properly met two days ago.”
“Yeah, that’s… really reasonable,” he chuckled, the relief evident in his voice.
“Seriously, if you fix my computer, that’ll be the best Christmas present I get this year, hands-down. I don’t care what expensive crap my parents get me or surprisingly thoughtful, niche thing Chenle somehow manages to find.”
“I didn’t realize how much my computer exorcism skills were worth.”
“To me, they’re priceless,” you assured him. “I wish I had something to offer in return.”
“Hey, you already taught me how to skate,” he insisted, nudging your arm.
You tilted your head side-to-side contemplatively. “One could argue whether I was successful at that…”
“Completely my fault that the lesson got cut short, not yours.”
“Alright, alright. I suppose a computer exorcism can be our quid pro quo for ten minutes of ice-skating lessons.”
“I didn’t pay much attention in my high school history class when Mr. Yoo was talking about the bartering system, but I’m pretty sure those two things are equivalent, yeah.”
You burst out laughing, covering your mouth and squeezing your eyes shut as you started to go a little light-headed from how hard you were laughing. You were still walking forward alongside Jisung, and felt him grab your arm and tug you towards him at the same time he warned, “Watch out.”
You couldn’t see whatever you must’ve almost walked into as you were still trying to sober up from your chuckle fest, covering your face as more giggles bubbled up every time you tried to close your mouth. Jisung kept you right next to him, guiding you through the mall crowd with a gentle but steadfast grasp on your arm, not letting you bump into anybody or trip over anything.
“Are you really still laughing?” He asked, and though his words were exasperated, his tone was overly fond, letting out a soft laugh of his own at the end. “I don’t think it was that funny…”
You narrowed your eyes playfully at him, shook his hand off you, and suppressed your giggles to say, “Fine. I don’t think you’re funny at all and I hate you, actually.”
Jisung’s mouth parted as he stared at you in shock, and you couldn’t keep the bit going for very long when faced with his adorable look of being totally caught off-guard and floored, even if both of you knew it was all a joke. You grabbed his arm this time, your laughs getting muffled in his sweater as you buried your face in his shoulder and leaned against him for support.
“Oh my god, you looked like I ran over your dog or something!” You gasped for air between guffaws, apologetically rubbing his arm.
“You’re…” He trailed off, letting out a sigh instead, reaching for your purse that was on your arm and now awkwardly crushed between you two with you holding his arm. “Here, I’ll take that.”
He had already been carrying your shopping bags that you’d been acquiring from the various stores, and you now stopped to wordlessly shimmy off your purse for him to shoulder on his opposite side from you. You reattached yourself to his arm that you had been holding, and though his cheeks were turning pink, he had a small smile on his face as he looked down at his phone to check the time.
“Did your family assign you an animal too?” You asked him, your eyes getting caught on a kiosk of Christmas ornaments as you continued your journey through the mall.
“What?”
“Like how my parents decided when we were born that Chenle’s a bear and I’m a honeybee,” you explained, quickly looking back over to Jisung. “Did you ever have an animal or something that was like yours?”
He scrunched his nose as he thought, then shook his head. “No, not that I can remember. I always had a bunch of different stuffed animals.”
“I think you look like a hamster,” you informed him. “Especially when you do that with your nose.”
“Do what with my nose?” He questioned, his nose unintentionally twitching and scrunching up again as his eyes flitted around nervously.
You giggled, squeezing his arm tighter as you couldn’t help but coo over how cute he was. “That!”
He covered his nose with his hand, and though it obstructed half his face, you could tell he was pouting behind it.
“I didn’t mean to make you self-conscious, I’m sorry!” You apologized, grabbing his hand and trying to pull it away from his face. “I think it’s really cute!”
He stubbornly kept his nose concealed. “You still haven’t told me what it is…”
“You just scrunch up your nose sometimes, like this—” You imitated it, doing your best not to make it look like you were mocking him. “Seriously, it’s adorable! Please don’t ever stop, I might die!”
Jisung’s eyes crinkled and he dropped his hand back down as he chuckled. “Well we can’t have that.”
Your phone buzzed in your hand then, and you saw that it was your brother calling. “Mm, hold on, it’s Chenle.”
“Hey, where are you guys?” Chenle asked on the other end.
“We’re still on the first floor,” you told him. “By the pretzel stand. Where are you?”
“What have you two been doing? I’m on the third floor; I’ve been through the whole mall already. I’m done,” he scoffed. “Stay there, I’ll come to you.”
“I had to get my hard drive first, remember? You got a head start.”
“Anyway, are you done?”
“No, I have a couple more people to find gifts for.”
“Alright, hold on, I see you.”
You craned your neck looking for Chenle, still with your phone to your ear. “Damn bitch, how many old ladies did you take out on your way here?”
“Only two,” Chenle’s voice came through your phone and from directly beside you at the same time. He was loaded up with shopping bags on both arms.
You jumped out of your skin before rolling your eyes and hanging up the call. “Did you see a place that sold bath bombs and stuff?”
“Yeah, second floor, directly to the left off the escalator.”
“That’s my next stop, SooSoo loves that stuff,” you declared.
“There’s a baseball specialty shop on the third floor,” Chenle stated, eyes lingering on where you were still holding onto his friend’s arm. “If you want to go check it out, Jisung?”
You perked up, giving him an enthusiastic smile. “That sounds awesome! You totally should.”
Jisung turned to Chenle and nodded. “Yeah, sounds cool. Let’s do it.”
“I’ve still got a couple people on my list, so I’ll call you guys when I’m done so we can meet up and go,” you said, reaching for your purse that was still on Jisung’s shoulder. He handed it back to you, and you hurried off to take care of your final errands.
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Back at the house, you watched on with bated breath as Jisung performed his laptop exorcism. The screen turned on, which already was good news. After a few more progress bars, you eventually saw your homescreen and looked at him with guarded hope.
“I still need to transfer your personal files back over. And you won’t know if it worked unless it just never gets possessed again, but…” Jisung gestured to your laptop with a certain finality.
“Ahh, thank you! Thank you!” You cheered, hugging him.
“O-Oh, you’re welcome,” he mumbled, hesitantly hugging you back.
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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24
Christmas Eve was ushered in with a fresh snowfall overnight, and maybe the Christmas spirit finally possessed you, because all three of you were outside playing in it like little kids. A rather lumpy snowman had already been built and decorated with various rocks, sticks, and kitchen utensils. Snow angels were scattered around, and Chenle had just thrown the very first snowball, hitting Jisung squarely in the back of the head.
You laughed incredulously as the pitcher turned around and calmly started packing snow between his hands.
“Are you stupid?” You snickered at your brother, who was also preparing another snowball.
Before he could finish readying that one, Jisung wound up and launched his snowball, nailing Chenle in the face. You weren’t even focused on your brother as he desperately wiped the snow off his face with both hands, however, your eyes still watching Jisung, who was chuckling to himself. You’d been too preoccupied at the Christmas tree farm to really watch any of their snowfall fight that had happened there, and obviously hadn’t gone to any of Jisung’s games before, so this was the first time you’d seen him really use any of his pitcher skills. While it wasn’t a proper pitch, the practiced ease and skill that he clearly possessed even in doing something as silly as throwing a snowball was admittedly really attractive.
Chenle had taken his loss and grabbed a stick to start writing something in the snow, a good distance away from where you and Jisung were, his back to the two of you.
Stepping deliberately closer to Jisung, you said, “That was really cool, Jisung.”
He fidgeted with making sure his beanie was down over his ears. “Ah, I mean, it wasn’t a real pitch or anything—”
“Then can you teach me how to pitch for real?” You requested sweetly. “I’m very into baseball these days.”
“Uhm, y-yeah,” he agreed, clearing his throat and nodding. He stooped down to pack more snow between his hands into a round sphere, then held it out for you. “Here, that should be the right size.”
You graciously accepted it, then looked at him expectantly.
“Do you prefer to throw with your left or your right?” He asked.
You held up your dominant hand holding the snowball, and he nodded.
“Okay, uhm, you should stand with your feet like this.” He demonstrated the correct positioning himself, and you copied.
Jisung went through the basic steps with you, making minor adjustments here and there, and you were actually finding it sort of interesting, outside of the cute boy teaching you something he was passionate about. Learning a new skill or something to that effect. When he was showing you how to actually move your arm when throwing, you were genuinely trying to do it per his verbal instructions, but apparently there was still something wrong with the way you were doing it. And so he walked behind you, covering your gloves hand with his. You could feel his warm breath on the back of your neck, and his other hand grabbed your opposite shoulder to correct your posture as he manually moved your arm through the correct motion. Slow at first, talking through it.
“Feel how it’s different than what you were doing?” He asked, doing it again, a little faster this time.
But you were long gone, your brain white noise and your vision blurring a little bit (but that was mostly due to the cold wind hitting your eyes). He still smelled like cinnamon, and you wanted to listen to his voice all day. Jisung could read you a car manufacturer’s manual for all you cared.
“Mm, mhm,” you agreed absentmindedly.
“Alright, I’m going to step back and let you throw your first pitch.” He patted your shoulder and did just that, leaving you feeling even colder.
You momentarily panicked as you grappled in your short-term memory for anything that he had just been saying. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes, deciding that you would probably suck anyway, and to just fucking do it. Trusting your gut and muscle memory of what Jisung had just been walking you through, you did your damndest to throw that snowball in something akin to a pitch.
Amazingly, the snowball actually hit the trunk of the tree that you had been aiming for, and you stared at it in disbelief, hands hanging down by your side. Jisung clapped, the sound dampened by his gloves, but his cheers were surprisingly upbeat for how soft-spoken of a guy he was.
“Wow! That was a really good first pitch!” He congratulated you, holding up both his palms for you to high-five. “So awesome…”
You high-fived him, but stayed holding onto his hands, wide smile overtaking your features. “Thank you.”
“I—You’re welcome.” He held onto your hands too, throat bobbing up and down as he swallowed.
“Jisung!” Chenle yelled out, reminding the both of you of his presence. “Can you get my phone? I made Daegal out of snow and I want to take a picture. It should be charging on my bed.”
“Yeah!” Jisung called back. He gave you a regretful look, letting your hands go to trudge back up to the cabin.
Rounding on your brother, you stomped over to him, observing the admittedly cute snow-Daegal for a moment before addressing him.
“You can get your own phone,” you scoffed, crossing your arms.
“I thought I might hurt Jisung’s feelings if I told him to leave to his face,” Chenle replied nonchalantly. He looked at you over his large-framed sunglasses. “I feel like I have to warn you, as your big brother—”
“By ten months.”
“—about Jisung.”
You gave him a sour look, knowing that he knew that you wouldn’t be able stop yourself from asking a follow-up question to a statement like that. “What about him?”
“I know what you’ve been trying to do this whole time. You’re not ‘very into baseball,’ you’re into Jisung.”
You immediately got fired up, hands balling into fists at your sides. “Don’t you dare start pulling the ‘my friends are off-limits’ card now. You’ve never—”
“Hey, I like Jisung.” He held up his hands defensively, an amused smirk on his face. “If I had to make a tierlist of my friends for you to date, he’d be like, the only one in S-tier.”
You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Do you have a fantasy draft of boyfriends for me too?”
“I’m genuinely trying to help you here, alright?”
“So, what? Does he have a girlfriend or something?”
“Not exactly…” Chenle sighed. “Right before we left, during finals week, he met this girl in the library and just absolutely fell head-over-heels, okay? Like, he’s never even looked once at all the girls who show up to his games, but this one says three words to him and gives him some candy and he’s a goner. I don’t get it.”
It took everything in you to suppress your giddy grin and instead cock your head, playing dumb as you asked, “Wait, did he even get this girl’s name?”
“No, he never got a chance since they were both working on finals stuff,” he answered. “Anyway, I’m just trying to warn you. You’ve got to compete with the romanticized version of mystery library candy girl that he has in his head.”
“Mm. Tough competition,” you nodded with mock solemnity.
“I’m serious, Y/N. He called me at like midnight walking back from the library to tell me about it. He’s got it bad.” As if suddenly realizing everything he had just told you might dampen your spirits, Chenle’s entire demeanor shifted, and he gingerly patted the top of your head. “But uh, you’ve totally got this. I’m rooting for you, lil sis.”
“Right. Thanks… big bro,” you replied with intentional stiltedness, softballing a punch to his shoulder.
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That night after dinner, you all sat down around the Christmas tree for your family tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve. You sifted through the presents under the tree, some of which were ones that had been shipped here ahead of time by your parents or other extended family, others from Chenle.
“Hmm… one or two?” You asked, your eyes on two particular gifts.
“One,” Chenle and Jisung answered unanimously.
You grabbed the one that had been under your left hand, returning to your seat next to Jisung. Chenle had already picked his box, and fished out a gift bag, plopping it in front of Jisung. He seemed surprised, blinking down at it.
“But—”
“I got you more than one gift, dummy,” Chenle cut him off, already guessing what his confusion was about. “Go ahead.”
“No!” You stopped Jisung. He looked at you with alarm as you snatched the gift bag away, putting it back under the tree and replacing it with a different, much smaller one instead. “Open mine.”
Jisung looked even more confused, and slightly betrayed. “I thought we agreed we weren’t doing gifts…?”
“Yeah, but then I saw this and…” You smiled sheepishly. “Just open it!”
Shaking his head, he pulled out the tissue paper, then removed the object at the bottom of the bag. It was wrapped in more tissue paper to protect it, which he carefully wrapped, revealing the ornament that you had bought yesterday while you were split up. It was in the shape of a hamster popping out of a present box, and as soon as you saw it at the mall kiosk, you knew you had to get it for him.
Jisung turned it over his hands, looking up at you still a little confused, but with a smile. “Wait…”
“It looks just like you!” You giggled, taking it from him to hold it up next to his face. Aiming your next question at Chenle, you asked, “Doesn’t it?”
Your brother started laughing, reaching forward to tweak one of Jisung’s cheeks. “Ha, she’s right. How adorable.”
Jisung pushed his hand away, rolling his eyes. His gaze softened when he looked back over at you. “Thank you, Y/N. It’s great.”
“Hang it up!” You urged, giving it back to him and gesturing to the tree.
He got up on his knees to reach forward and affix it to an empty branch, between a bear ornament and honeybee ornament.
“Okay, Y/N, you next,” Chenle directed.
Ripping the wrapping paper off the small box, you were met with a small jewelry box, and took that lid off. Inside was a pair of ornate, bejeweled earrings, a little flashy for your taste. You checked the card.
“Great-Aunt Ying,” you announced, and Chenle let out an ‘ahh’ sound in understanding. You put the lid back on the box and set it aside. “SooSoo will love those.”
“Who’s that?” Jisung asked curiously as your brother started unwrapping his present. “Not your great-aunt.”
“Sooyoung, my roommate since freshman year,” you explained. “She’s also like, my best friend. And those earrings aren’t really my style, but I know she would wear them like, all the time, so I’ll just give them to her when we get back.”
Chenle’s box was a bit larger than yours had been, and was similarly stylish. He turned it over to shake the lid off and make the contents fall out all in one go, catching the fabric that fell out in his hand. Holding it up, it was a tie in what looked like a nice material, a monochrome and not exceptionally busy pattern on it.
“Another tie, wonder who it’s from…” he snorted, picking up the card. “Oh, Great-Uncle Feng. Surprise.”
“Does he think you’re eating all the ties he gives you or something?” You snickered.
“I think he’s so old he forgets he’s given me a tie before and thinks I don’t own any.” Chenle then offered it out to Jisung. “You need a tie? If not, I’ll ask the other guys.”
“I would need a suit first…” Jisung admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.
Chenle stared at him in disbelief, then sighed. “Okay, so we’re getting you a suit when we get back to school.”
“What do I need a suit for?”
“Don’t you have formal stuff that you have to go to for baseball? Awards or press conferences or something?”
“That’s maybe once a year. I just rent a suit!”
“Jisung, don’t say another word, you’re going to kill me.” He put a hand over his heart as if it were going to give out any second.
You chuckled at their antics, starting to clean up the trashed wrapping paper. “Christmas movies?”
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WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25
You felt like a little kid, unable to sleep the night before Christmas morning. It was after midnight, so it technically was Christmas now. And even thought you knew that neither Santa nor you parents were coming, you were still oddly giddy. You had already videocalled Sooyoung to recap the developments of the day, but you were still replaying everything in your mind, kept up with thought of Jisung. How it felt being that close to him when he was teaching you to throw a snowball, the information that apparently he was just as smitten with you after the library as you were with him. Even Chenle’s unofficial blessing put your mind at ease—not because your brother determined who you dated, but he knew Jisung better than you did and was brutally honest, so if he said that he liked Jisung for you, you knew he meant it.
Pushing your covers off, goosebumps immediately popped up on your legs that were now exposed to the cool air. You treaded over to the bathroom door. The light was off, but you still knocked. When there was no response, you opened it. You didn’t stop there, however, continuing on to the opposite door, which you knew led to Jisung’s room. Taking a deep breath, you knocked softly on that one too.
You heard the rustling of sheets and quiet padding of footsteps before the door handle twisted and opened, Jisung on the other side. He looked down at you, nose scrunched up in bewilderment.
“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, rubbing one of his eyes behind his glasses.
“Yeah. Uhm, sorry, did I wake you up?”
“No, I uh, I couldn’t sleep, actually.”
“Me neither.”
“Oh.”
There was a pause, and you fidgeted with the ends of your longsleeve. “Do you want to hang out for a bit? Since we’re both up…”
“Oh! Y-Yeah, sure.” He stepped back from the door, motioning you in. “Uhm, come in.”
“Thanks.” You stepped inside, and he closed the door behind you.
The bedsheets were rumpled on one side, so you sat down on the other side, pulling the blanket over your chilly legs. Jisung watched you, frozen halfway from the bathroom to the bed for a second.
“I’m cold,” you told him, turning your phone on.
“Of course, right,” he breathed out, snapping out of his trance.
He climbed under the covers as well, putting a headphone in his ear opposite from you and pressing play on a video on his phone. Curious, you peeked over at his screen to see what he was watching. It looked like a bunch of clips of professional baseball pitchers.
“It’s my favorite pro pitcher,” Jisung blurted out, pausing the video again. He had apparently noticed you snooping at his screen. “Well, that’s currently active. He’s a lefty, and he does this thing on some of his pitches where he gets this spin and—”
You blinked as he had abruptly cut himself off in the middle of his sentence. Tilting your head, you asked, “What? Why’d you stop?”
“You’re not really interested in baseball, are you?” He questioned, turning his eyes down to his lap. “You’re just being nice.”
“Hold on—”
“It’s okay, you can go back to what you were doing, I don’t want to bore you.”
“Jisung,” you giggled, turning over on your side fully to face him. “You really haven’t figured it out?”
His brow furrowed and he pouted slightly as he seemed to genuinely be confused. “Figured what out?”
“I’m interested in baseball because I’m interested in you,” you said bluntly, watching the gears turn in his head before his eyes widened.
“Wh—Oh. Really?”
“Mhm. But Chenle did warn me that apparently you’re head over heels for some mystery girl that you met in the library during finals week who gave you candy,” you teased, letting out a wistful sigh. “So I have no chance…”
Jisung dropped his phone to cover his face with both hands, letting out a noise of embarrassment from deep in his chest, shaking his head. “Oh my God…”
“I told SooSoo about you too,” you informed him. “After the library.”
He opened his hands to peek at you meekly. “Really?”
“Really.”
Jisung glanced upwards, and you snickered.
“Chenle’s not like that. He’s not going to care unless you’re a dick to me.”
“Because only he gets to be a dick to you?” He joked, slowly removing his hands all the way from his face.
“Yep. Same for the girls he dates. Nobody gets to be a bitch to him except me.”
“So, now what?” He asked nervously, glancing around the room.
“Now, you’re going to finish telling me about your favorite pitcher,” you stated, scooting over until you were snuggled into his side, head resting on his shoulder so you could see his phone screen better.
Jisung grabbed his earbud case from the nightstand, bringing the other one out. He offered it to you, and you put it in as he turned his phone back on. He restarted the compilation, but didn’t press play yet, instead launching back into his explanation from before, excitedly talking faster now.
“So this is Hwang Myungjun. Like I said, he’s my favorite pitcher that’s in the league right now. He’s a lefty and—you’ll see it in this video, but—he does this really cool thing on some of his pitches where he can get this certain spin on the ball and…”
You listened to him go on and on with a smile on your face, breathing in the warm smell of cinnamon.
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In the morning, you stirred a little, sighing and pulling the covers up to your nose. Covers that smelled like cinnamon. Opening one of your eyes, you were greeted with Jisung already wide awake, sitting up against the headboard, staring at you from behind his glasses.
You rubbed your eye and yawned. “Christ—Did you sleep at all?”
“Yeah, we get up early for baseball conditioning, so I don’t really sleep in even on days off.” He rubbed the back of his neck, ears turning pink. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Good morning…”
“Morning,” you mumbled, yawning again. “Sorry for falling asleep here.”
“It’s okay. Sorry for talking you to sleep.”
“No, it was nice. I like your voice.” You pushed yourself into a half-sitting position. Pecking his cheek, you added, “Merry Christmas.”
His face flushed as he smiled down at his hands. “Merry Christmas…”
Climbing out of bed, you stretched your arms over your head, then wrapped them around yourself. “Anyway, I should emerge from my own room. Just because he doesn’t care if we date doesn’t mean Chenle needs to think something other than watching baseball compilations happened in here last night.”
Jisung squeezed his eyes shut and nodded his head. “Good idea.”
“See you in a few.” You bid him a momentary farewell, opening the door to the adjoining bathroom.
Shuffling back into your own bedroom, you almost screamed when you saw a figure sitting on your bed in the dark. You grabbed for the closest thing in your reach, a candlestick on the dresser next to you, ready to swing. The figure turned on the lamp next to the bed, and you saw that it was Chenle, still contemplating hitting him anyway. You decided to set your weapon down, however.
“What the fuck?!” You hissed, stalking up to your bed and grabbing a stuffed animal to chuck at him instead. He caught the stuffed bee, holding it to his chest as he smirked at you.
“Something you want to tell me?” He raised an eyebrow. “About where you’ve been?”
You followed his line of sight between you and the bathroom door that you just came out of. “What are you, the piss patrol? Can’t a bitch pee in peace around here?”
“Toilet didn’t flush, sink didn’t run,” he immediately shot back. “Also, I’ve been in here for the past hour.”
“Don’t be weird about it—” You held up a finger in his face threateningly, and a victorious grin immediately spread across his features. “Jisung and I talked about how we felt, and I fell asleep in his room. Nothing else, okay?”
Chenle gave you a look that told you he didn’t entirely believe you, but he didn’t press you any further. “God, how am I going to choose between being your brother of honor and his best man?”
“We haven’t even gone on a date!” You grabbed a pillow and tried to pushed it over his face to shut him up. He narrowly saved himself from being smothered, cackling as you resorted to smacking him with it instead. “As if I’d even ask you to be my whatever you just made up! You’ll be lucky if you even get an invite, I swear to—”
The door to your room was thrown open from the bathroom, Jisung looking around the room wildly. “Y/N! Are—”
You stopped your assault on your brother to smile breathlessly at Jisung. “Oh. Hi.”
“I heard you yelling, I wanted to make sure…”
“I’m fine,” you reassured him. “Thanks, Jisung.”
“I know!” Chenle announced loudly. “I know everything, Park Jisung! Last night, you and my little sister—”
You succeeded in smothering Chenle this time, muffling whatever obnoxious things he was about to spew.
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After breakfast and opening presents in the morning, Jisung excused himself to go call his parents. Chenle tsked, turning the gaming console on to start up one of the new games he’d gotten and tossing you a controller.
“He tell you how he ended up coming with us?” Your brother asked, his gaze on the screen.
“Yeah. His dad goes on a cruise and his mom is with his stepdad’s side of the family. So he would’ve just been at the school if you didn’t bring him,” you replied, only paying half-attention to the opening cutscene.
“At least ours pretend to make an effort,” he scoffed. “His mom didn’t even offer to pay for his plane ticket.”
“Hm?”
“His mom and stepdad live on the other side of the country. They technically ‘invite’ him to Christmas every year, but he’d have to get himself there and back.”
“So it’s hardly a genuine invite.”
“And you know what his stepdad does?”
“What?”
“CEO of that logistics company that Mom and Dad are always talking about. The big one.”
“Shit, really? And he can’t be bothered to pay for his wife to see her own son once a year?”
He clicked his tongue. “Apparently not.”
A few levels into the video game, Chenle’s phone lit up with a text. He paused the game, and sighed upon reading the message. “Jisung says we can eat lunch without him. He’s suddenly not feeling well.”
You winced. “I take it his phone calls didn’t go well.”
“You go check on him. You can handle crying people better than me.”
You nodded in agreement, getting up from the couch. Outside of Jisung’s bedroom door, you listened carefully first, just in case he was still on a call. It was quiet, and you knocked softly.
“Jisung?” You called out. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” he replied, his voice sounding far away.
Opening the door, you saw him laying on the bed on top of his covers, his back to the door. You stayed in the doorway, asking, “Do you want to be alone?”
“No.”
You sat down on the bed behind him, still giving him his space. “Do you want to talk or do you want quiet?”
“My dad didn’t even pick up,” he muttered. “And my mom—God, I got to tell her about school for all of five seconds before she started gushing about how her grandbabies are learning how to write or whatever. I’ve never even met those kids, honestly, I don’t give a fuck about them. They’re not even her grandkids, they’re her husband’s. Apparently, one of them is on a little league baseball team. When she started saying I could teach him how to pitch when I come to visit for summer, I pretended the call was dropping and hung up. ‘When I come to visit’—I live with my dad in the summer because he didn’t move away from me.”
“I’m sorry, Jisung,” you said, feeling the hurt in your heart as his voice tightened and cracked.
“It’s funny, they used to have these-these blowout fights every year about who got me for Christmas,” he sniffled. “And now that they moved on and got their new families, they couldn’t care less about me.”
“Lucky for me and Chenle, then. Because we got you this year.”
He laughed, finally rolling over to face you. He wiped at his eyes, but you still saw the tears that had run down the side of his face. “You really mean that?”
“Of course I do.” You gently stroked his hair, brushing some of it out of his face.
Jisung scooted closer, until he could pillow his head in your lap instead, his eyes fluttering shut as you resumed your ministrations. “I’m glad you guys got me too…”
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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 26
A knock on your bedroom door woke you up. It opened, and somebody who was neither Chenle nor Jisung peered in.
“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” your mother hummed lightly. “Are you up?”
“Mm, yeah,” you grunted, pushing yourself up against your pillows.
She came over to press a kiss to your forehead. “Good morning.”
“Hi, Mom. Merry Christmas,” you smiled up at her, letting her take your hand in hers. “Did you and Dad just get here?”
“A few minutes ago. Your father’s getting Chenle.”
There was a loud thunk from above you, followed by a yelp and two very familiar and similar laughs that you recognized as your families’. You chuckled as your mom rolled her eyes fondly.
“I think he was successful,” you snickered.
“We’re going out for breakfast when you’re ready,” she informed you, squeezing your hand before letting it go.
“Mmkay.” You yawned as she headed for your door. “I’ll let Jisung know.”
She paused, tilting her head. “Who?”
“Didn’t Chenle tell you his friend was coming? Park Jisung?” You pointed at the room next door.
“Oh, I thought he was bringing Mark for some reason.” She looked at you with concern. “Does Jisung like basketball too?”
“I… don’t know? He plays baseball?”
“Oh. Hm.”
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“So, what are you studying, Jisung?” Your mother asked, stirring sugar into her coffee.
The five of you were at a diner in the small town at the base of the mountain, you, Jisung, and Chenle packed into one side of a booth and your parents on the other. The car ride had been filled with you and Chenle filling your parents in on your various happenings from this semester, but now your parents seemed to have zeroed in on the newcomer.
“Cybersecurity,” he rushed to answer.
Both your parents seemed impressed by that. Your dad spoke next, “And what do your parents do?”
“He’s got an athletic scholarship, Dad,” Chenle cut in before you could. You both knew what he was really asking about.
“Full ride,” you added proudly. “Baseball. He’s the pitcher.”
“Really?” Your dad’s interest was piqued—he was a bigger sports fan than your brother.
“Yes, sir,” Jisung replied.
“The school doesn’t give out full athletic scholarships frequently. You know that?”
“No, sir, I-I didn’t know that.”
Your dad took a sip of his own coffee, regarding Jisung like he was evaluating his investment portfolio. “So what makes you so valuable?”
“W-Well, uhm, I-I don’t—”
“He’s ambidextrous,” you answered for him. “He can pitch with both hands.”
“Switch pitcher?” Your dad hummed thoughtfully. “You know who the best switch pitcher in the history of the league is, right?”
“Kim Beomjin, sir,” Jisung replied firmly.
“Has he passed your test, yet, Dad?” Chenle scoffed. “Come on, stop treating him like he’s interviewing at the company.”
“I was trying to get to know—”
“You were being a bit much, dear,” your mother interrupted your dad’s attempts to defend himself.
“Alright. My apologies, Jisung.”
“It’s fine, sir, really.”
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You didn’t understand why your mother had asked if Jisung liked basketball until you got back to the house. Your parents had brought a few more presents with them, including, kindly, a couple for Jisung. Except they hadn’t been expecting Jisung, they had been expecting Mark, which evident in the gifts. Both Chenle and Mark loved basketball, so the matching jerseys for their favorite team would’ve made the perfect present, if it had been Mark receiving it.
“I’m so sorry, Jisung,” your mother kept apologizing, clearly embarrassed at the mistake.
“No, I-I like basketball too, ma’am,” he tried to reassure her.
“It’s a requirement for being my friend,” Chenle helped him out. “If only I could’ve made it a requirement for being my sister.”
“If we got to pick, I would’ve made not being annoying as fuck a requirement for being my brother,” you retorted.
“Language!” Your mom scolded you, at the same time that your dad warned Chenle to “Be nicer to your sister!”
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Your parents were gone again after dinner, leaving in a flurry of hugs, kisses, and promises of celebrating Christmas together properly next year. As soon as he’d shut the door behind them, Chenle turned to you, cynical disbelief on his face already.
“No way,” he chuckled and shook his head. His phone rang then, and he tutted. “Gotta take this. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
Jisung was already in the living room, and you plopped down next to him on one of the couches, dropping your head into your hands.
“Your parents seem nice,” he said quietly.
“Mhm, they’re really great when they’re here,” you agreed bitterly. “Sort of makes it hurt worse. It’d be easy to just hate them if they left us all the time and changed plans last-minute and were awful when we did see them. But they do all that shit, and then I see them and it’s good. And it makes me start thinking that maybe it’ll be different, maybe they’ll really keep their promises next time.”
“I get that.” He seemed to be choosing his words very carefully. “But maybe this time you just don’t get your hopes up. Might be easier on you.”
“Yeah, probably.”
With a sigh, you sat up, turning into Jisung’s side and snaking your arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you as you buried your face in his chest, one hand cradling the back of your head. His other hand slowly rubbed your back, encouraging you to relax into his embrace even more.
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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31
The morning of New Year’s Eve, the three of you were sitting around the kitchen table silently eating breakfast scrounged together from various leftovers and the singular grocery store trip you’d taken since Christmas. Then, there was a knock at the front door, and with your cereal spoon sticking out of your mouth, you gave Chenle and Jisung a bewildered look. They, however, didn’t seem put off at all.
“Y/N, can you go see who it is?” Chenle asked you, returning his gaze to his phone screen.
“Are you expecting someone?” You retorted. “You go answer it.”
The knocking came again, more insistent this time.
“Y/N! Just get it!” Chenle demanded loudly.
“Fine! Fine!” You got up, stomping over to the front door.
Opening the solid wood door, your jaw dropped when you saw six figures on the other side, before you were tackled in a hug by the one at the front.
“Surprise!” Sooyoung squealed, nearly squeezing the air out of your lungs.
“Soo!” You gasped, hugging her back. “What are you doing here?”
“We were invited!” Jaemin informed you cheerily, grabbing you for a bear hug next.
“We’d never pass up an invite to a Chenle-Y/N party,” Jeno’s eyes twinkled as he pecked the crown of your head.
“Especially a New Year’s Eve party,” Donghyuck added.
“Since when have we been throwing a New Year’s Eve party?” You spluttered, still in delighted shock as you took in all of your friends standing in your foyer.
Mark hugged you too. “Chenle texted us a couple days before Christmas to see if we could make it for New Year’s.”
You grabbed your roommate’s hand, bewildered the most by her presence. She wasn’t friends with Chenle or any of the other guys standing there, to your knowledge. “But how did you…?”
“Jisung’s idea,” Chenle had joined you all, standing at the threshold of the foyer with the baseball player. “We figured out that Renjun and Sooyoung were in a study group together this semester and…”
You’d spotted Huang Renjun, one of Chenle’s friends from college whom you’d met several times before, hanging back on the fringes of the group. You smiled at him before beelining for Jisung, throwing your arms around his neck and kissing his cheek a couple times in your excitement.
“Thank you!” You were smiling ear to ear, so much that your cheeks hurt, but you couldn’t help it.
“You’re welcome, Y/N.” Jisung returned the hug, rubbing your back. “My late Christmas present to you.”
You let him go to hug your brother next, hooking your chin over his shoulder and squeezing him so tight you felt like your chest might burst, and you hoped he could feel how much all of this—how much he—meant to you. Despite everything you may say or do to each other. “Thanks, Chenle.”
“Of course,” he whispered, hugging you back just as tight.
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“SooSoo, I’m serious, not that much has happened!” You promised, laying on your bed to watch as she got settled in your room. She had of course insisted that you filled her in on every details of everything that’s happened between you and Jisung, including things that she had already heard before since you two talked almost every night. “It’s only been like a week, and my brother is literally here.”
“We all saw those little cheek kisses earlier,” she replied pointedly. “You’re at least going to kiss him at midnight, right?”
“Maybe,” you giggled, quite literally kicking your feet as you thought about it. “Onto you—You just spent three hours in a car with them, have you figured out if you want me to set you up with Jeno or Jaemin?”
“We took two cars. I was in Renjun’s with Donghyuck,” she informed you with a desolate sigh.
“Why did you—”
“He offered because he knew I didn’t know anybody except him, and I didn’t know how to explain why I wanted to go in the other one!”
“Foiled once more by empathy and kindness.”
“I’ll figure it out before we go back to school!”
“Maybe you can get one of their numbers on your own before then.”
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Despite the reputations that ‘Chenle-Y/N’ parties carried amongst your friends, and your friends also bringing enough alcohol to host a full-blown kegger, the event itself was pretty low-key. You’d gotten the firepit on the back porch going, food ordered, music going throughout the house, and had already completed several different games.
You were fixing yourself a cup of eggnog in the kitchen when you spotted someone out by the firepit. Pouring another mug, you took both out with you. Jisung looked up when he heard the back door open. He smiled as he recognized that it was you, scooting over on the bench to make room for you to sit with him.
“Eggnog?” You offered a cup out to him. “I didn’t spike it, but I can go add something in if you really want.”
“No, this is perfect,” he chuckled, his laughs rising as white wisps in the cold air. “I’ve been thinking…”
“About?”
“Were the three options hot chocolate, cider, and eggnog?”
It took you a second to catch up, but once you had recalled your first night in the mountains, you burst into laughter, nodding. “Yeah, those were the three options when I made you pick a number.”
He smiled, taking a sip of his drink. “There was something else, that I was thinking about.”
“Oh?”
“Are-Are we going to kiss at midnight? Do you want to? I know we haven’t gone on a real date or anything—”
“I do want to kiss you,” you admitted. “Do you?”
He nodded hurriedly. “Yes, god.”
“You still seem… fidgety. We can wait, if you—”
“That’s not it.” He set his cup of eggnog down, and you did as well. “I want to kiss you. I just don’t want the first time I do to be in front of a bunch of our friends.”
You smirked, tilting your head curiously. “Are you asking to practice before?”
He blinked. “I don’t think I was before, but I definitely am now.”
You snickered a little, leaning in and gently touching your lips to his in a feather-light kiss. He let out a small sigh against your lips, one of his hands coming up to cup your cheek and pull you closer, sealing his mouth over yours. Everything was warm, no matter the fire or the cold wind or the thick jacket you were wearing, you were being heated from the inside out.
When Jisung pulled back, he had such a dazzlingly soft smile on his face that you couldn’t help but stare, wanting to burn that image in the back of your eyelids forever. He moved to duck his head shyly, but you grabbed his face.
“I think we might need some more practice before midnight,” you teased, nuzzling your nose with his affectionately.
“Mm, of course,” he agreed humorously, kissing you again. And again, and again, and again.
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⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon
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TAGLIST
@annenakamura @bee-the-loser @lotties-readings @ppddpjdr @reiofsuns2001
@classicroyalty @giirlfriendd @shaqs-oatmeal @sofipolii01
@tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69
@winkeuu
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darlingsfandom · 3 days ago
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His Girl, His office!
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anon: hello! how are you? i was wondering if you could do something like neil lewis having an inexperienced younger gf, she wants to have sex with him and he teaches her everything she should know (even if we all know the only experience neil has is from porn lol)
Pairing: Older Neil Lewis x younger fem reader!
TW: loss of virginity, semi-public sex, fingering, swearing!
“Would you look at her ?” Jason leaned into Johnathan as they watched you browse the classic comedy section.
“Like you’d have a chance with her.” Johnathan rolled his eyes at his friend.
You were busy looking over the shelves of movies when a tap on the shoulder caught your attention. You turned a little to see the man who had been eyeing you since you walked in standing there with something like a smile on his face.
“You know that’s a good movie you got there!” He pointed to the dvd in your hand and you raised an eyebrow.
“It’s my boyfriend’s favorite!” The word boyfriend stung him like a bee as you turned back around to go look at the horror section.
“Told you so.” Jason hit his friend on the arm just as Neil walked out of his office whistling.
“What’s got you in such a good mood today?” Jason asked Neil who was carrying a box full of new dvds to display. Before Neil could speak he seen you standing there holding the Wolf-man in your hands. He set the box down on the counter by the cash register, double checked his hair and made his way over to you.
“Do you need any help pretty girl?”
“Listen you creep…” you turned quickly with a balled fists before you realized it was Neil. Your jaw dropped a little before you tilted your head with a pout on your lips. “I’m sorry baby, I thought you were the guy who just tried to hit on me!” Neil furrowed his eyebrows before looking in the direction of his friends who quickly turned back to the movie on the tv.
You grabbed his arm making him look back at you. You leaned in forward and pressed your lips into his and Neil wrapped his arms around your waist before sneaking his hands down to your ass to give it a squeeze. A giggle left your mouth which allowed Neil to slip his tongue into your mouth. Both of you swirled your tongues around slowly tasting each other until the sound of someone cleaning their throat brought the reality of the situation back to life.
“Now which one of those boneheads hit on you?” Neil tossed a look at his friends.
“Don’t worry about it, why don’t you remind them and everyone who I belong too.” Your fingers trailed up Neil’s arm making him blush deep red because even though Neil was an older man he still had a crush on you. A sweet innocent thing like you head over heels for him? He still would pinch himself. The feeling of your nails scratched the base of his neck brought him back to the matter at hand.
“I think that’s a great idea.” Neil grabbed your hand, pulled you down the hall and into his office before pushing you up against the wall. His eyes scanned yours and he got lost in how they shined. Your hands ran down his back while the two of you shared a messy kiss full of tongue and teeth hitting each other. The sound of your heart pounding filled your ears as Neil’s hands grabbed at your waist squeezing them hard before he pulled away to smother your neck with wet kisses.
“Neil… please…” you whimpered out.
“Please what baby?”
“Fuck me.”
Neil stopped dead in his tracks as he tilted his head. He couldn’t believe his ears. You actually asked him to fuck you! The two of you had been together for almost a year and the most you two have ever done is mutual masturbation and he had fingered you a few times but you wanted to wait to see if he actually loved you or if it was just for sex.
“Are you sure? You know I won’t do it unless you really want it .” Neil pressed his forehead against yours, cupped your chin and made you look into his eyes. His thumb ran across your bottom lip to which you took your chance and wrapped your lips around it making him groan. Neil watched you suck softly on his thumb which made his cock twitch because he’s always wanted you on your knees for him, sucking him dry but this wasn’t about him it was about you. Your eyes looked so innocent while sucking his thumb but Neil couldn’t take it anymore not unless he wanted to cum in his pants right there.
Neil took back his thumb which made you pout a little before he sat you on his desk. His hands cupped your face again before kissing you hard. Neil could never get enough of your kisses.
Your fingers tangled up in hair as you pulled him closer to you closing any space that was left between your bodies. Neil licked your bottom lip before properly kissing you. His lips moved down your jaw, across your neck and stopped at your cleavage before helping you take off your shirt and bra.
“You’re so pretty.” His hands grabbed your breasts and squeezed them softly before lowering his head so he could wrap his warm mouth around your perky nipple while his fingers rolled around the other. Neil has had his fair share of playing with boobs but that was his expertise area. Now just because Neil was fifteen years older didn’t mean he knew what he was doing since he’s only had two girlfriends and many nights alone with his hand.
Neil kissed down your stomach until he was between your legs. He had seen your cunt many times but it was still his favorite thing to look at when he had the chance. His index finger slowly ran up and down your lips before he licked his finger and slid it inside of you.
“Neil!” You gasped.
“I got you baby.” His face disappeared between your legs as he fingered you slowly. He looked up at you while his tongue lapped over your pussy making you squirm on his desk.
“Fuck ! Neil!” Your fingers gripped onto the edge of his desk. Neil licked faster at your wet cunt while his nose bumped against your clit. He was busy enjoying your scent and taste to notice the fact that he never shut the door to his office all the way but you had and yet you didn’t care, it added to the excitement. While Neil was busy eating you out, his free hand had found its way into his pants and slowly Neil jerked himself off to make sure he was ready to go.
Neil gave a soft kiss to your clit before he stood up, dropped his pants and licked his lips. Your eyes felt heavy as you watched him spit onto his hand and wrap it around his cock. Neil leaned closer into you before planting a big kiss on your lips that made you giggle.
“It’s probably going to sting a little bit, but I got you okay?” His voice was filled with reassurance. His fingers stroked your cheek soothingly before he held his cock, lined the head up to your folds and slowly pushed in.
“Neil!”
“Shh baby, it’s okay! It’s okay.” He pushed the head all the way in making you whine as you squeezed your eyes shut, gripped his arms and took a deep breath. Neil didn’t move, he waited until you were ready. He brushed some hair out of your face until you opened your eyes and nodded. Neil pushed his cock in you inch by inch until he was all the way in making you feel full. He waited again until you were comfortable. You opened your eyes to see a soft smile on his lips as he stayed perfectly inside of you, letting you just take in the moment.
“I’m ready Neil.” You reached up weakly to touch his face before he kissed your hand and slowly started to thrust into you. His thrusts hurt at first but soon enough became enjoyable. Neil held onto your hips and grunted as he picked up the pace. “Fuck! Neil! That’s .. fuck yes.” You moaned as he squeezed your hips. Neil couldn’t believe he was actually fucking you!
“You’re so much better than porn.” He blurted out making you laugh.
“I’d sure hope so!” You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss that ended with the two of you mixing your tongues together as he pulled you up to sit you up straight as he thrusted faster . As much as Neil wanted to go harder, he didn’t want to hurt you. He was gentle with you while he covered you in messy kisses. His teeth sank into your neck like a vampire to make sure everyone would see who you belonged too. The sounds of your wetness echoed as he looked down to watch his cock slide in and out of you while you locked your legs around his waist.
Neil as in heaven. You were an angel! Such a filthy angel who was taking his cock so well. The way you were moaning and whimpering, squeezing his cock with you tight, wet, warms walls, the way you’d gasp when the head of his cock hit that soft spot inside you he wasn’t going to last. He sucked on your nipples again making you cry out his name. Your nails dug into his pale arms as he adjusted your hips so he could go deeper. There were a few times where his cock slipped out and he had to put it back in. He didn’t care though, he loved fucking you.
“Neil, please! I’m going to cum.” You moaned loudly.
“Cum for me baby! Cry out my name!” Neil slowed down his thrust but went just a little harder.
Your hand snaked down to rub your clit but Neil smacked it away and rubbed circled on it with his thumb as he looked into your eyes. He could see the mixture of lust and innocence lurking in them making him groan.
“Neil! Just like that! Please fuck! I need to cum.”
“Go on baby ! Cum all over my cock. Be good for me and cum yeah!”
Your orgasm hit you more intensely than it had before. Your thighs and legs shook as you held onto Neil’s arms making your knuckles turn white while you cried out his name. Tears ran down your face, heart beating fast as you squeezed his cock hard as you creamed all over his cock getting some of it on his pubic hairs that were covering his balls.
“Fuck baby! You’re squeezing me so tight! Fuck!” Neil was on the edge and quickly pulled out before he pumped his cock with four quick strokes and came all over your bruised thighs. Your mouth hung open with little pants falling out while you watched him cum. Neil heavily panted before he gripped your arms and kissed you softly.
“For someone who’s use to porn, you sure had an idea…” you smiled up at him making him squish your cheeks together before planting another kiss.
“You have to learn somehow!” Neil pulled you up onto your wobbly feet and helped you get cleaned up. He got himself back together before he brushed your hair a little but it would be obvious what the two of you had just did in his office. As the two of you walked out everyone turned to look at the two of you with some looks of horror, some full of curiosity and some that just couldn’t believe it.
“Flirt with her again, I dare you.” Neil smacked his friend upside the head as you laid your head on his shoulder. “She’s my girl and only mine.”
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sanjisleggy · 20 hours ago
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the warlord’s wife (mihawk x reader)
req: Oh if you want to you should do a Mihawk x reader (fem or gn) that's hurt comfort where the reader is like the exact opposite of him. Like she is usually so happy and sweet and kind. And something happens and maybe she starts to worry that she is too much for Mihawk because he is just someone who is quiet and to himself all the time and she thinks she is constantly bothering him
a/n: ahhh my first attempt at writing for Mihawk! a much shorter fic compared to my others but i hope you guys like it nonetheless :3c i’d love to write longer fics for him if anyone has any ideas yippee
contents: rude people (lol), insecure!fem!reader, simp!Mihawk, a tiny bit of angst, some hurt/comfort, fluff :3c
wc. 1k
wanna be on my taglist?
i. 
standing outside the large ornate doors, you feel your face burn with embarrassment as you contemplate simply going to the docks to wait out by the hitsugibune until the gala ends. as tempting as escaping from the horrific social situation sounds right now, your pride refuses to let you bow your head in defeat.
”i don’t know how else to convince you,” you try to appeal to the two marines standing guard outside the venue entrance once more, “if you could just ask him to verify my identity—”
”i’m sorry, miss,” the larger man of the two cuts you off with a less than apologetic look. “there’s just no reason why we should do as you say. if we listened to every man or woman demanding to go in, we’d lose our heads.”
your indignance and frustration quickly bubbles into pure anger and for a brief moment you lament having left your katana back at the castle. you bite your tongue, unable to think of any other way to convince the marine officers that you are, indeed, a guest who’d been invited to the gala because you’re literally one of the Warlords’ wives.
“besides,” the other officer chips in unprompted, “no offence but you don’t seem like the type of woman someone like Dracule Mihawk would marry.” his partner fails to hold back a scoff but quickly attempts to return his expression back into one of neutral professionalism.
clenching your fists by your sides, you try your very hardest to keep your eyes from tearing up for the second time tonight. normally such a comment wouldn’t phase you—years of being Mihawk’s partner has done wonders for thickening your skin—right now, though, you can’t help but feel a familiar sharp stinging sensation pierce through your chest.
of all the snarky comments you marine dogs decide to make, why this one?
ii.
it had only been an hour into the gala and already you regretted begging your husband, just weeks prior, to consider attending with you as his guest. the event was a grand one held by the marines every year to “show their appreciation” towards their allies, which included the Seven Warlords; and every year the invite would show up at your doorstep only to be promptly thrown out by your introverted husband.
”can we please go? i miss going for social events like these.” you’d pleaded that night in bed, hugging his arm tightly as you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck—a move he liked to call ‘playing dirty. “just this once to see what it’s like, then i’ll never ask again.”
both you and Mihawk knew it was a lie but the swordsman was nothing if not a simp for you so he begrudgingly agreed.
”care to elaborate why?” you challenge, taking the two marines aback if their surprised expressions are anything to go by. clearly not used to ‘civilians’ talking back to them, they take a moment to gather their thoughts—and at least have enough decency to look embarrassed at being called out.
”w-well—”
“your wife is such a chatterbox! it’s a wonder you’ve tolerated her for as long as you have!”
”your husband is whom? forgive me, i find that hard to believe.”
”i thought he was some kind of recluse?”
”maybe it was an arranged marriage. how scandalous.”
”i pity the poor man. all my husband does is talk and it drives me insane some days.”
”darling?” a deep familiar voice calls out from behind you, accompanied by the sound of heeled shoes clicking against stone. before you can turn around, you feel his warm hand rest itself on your shoulder, the comforting heat of his body engulfing you from behind. “i’ve been looking for you.”
the blood drains from both the marine officers’ faces, their eyes widening in shock as it dawns on them what a mistake they’ve just made. as though pleading for mercy, the eyes of the larger man flickers in your direction, almost screaming: “please, i’m too young to die.”
”were these men giving you trouble?” Mihawk probes gently, using his other hand to tilt your head in his direction. the moment his eyes meet your own and widen ever so slightly, you know there’s no point lying. as much as you’ve been able to hold back your tears of frustration well enough to fool the average man, your husband is anything but average.
mouths still agape, the marine officers can do nothing but watch as the notorious swordsman proceeds to cup your face with his right hand in a manner so tender they can’t help but suspect he’s an imposter. unbothered by the unbelieving stares sent his way, Mihawk brushes his thumb under your eye as though to confirm his suspicion.
”they were but it’s okay now,” you finally reply, placing your hand over his to hold it in place as you relish in the comforting warmth of his palm.
”what did you do to my wife?” he disregards your subtle plea for peacemaking. he knows you well enough to infer that you simply don’t want him to make a scene for the sake of maintaining his public image. 
Mihawk’s aware of how much you actually enjoy silently watching him defend your pride and honour; and he also knows from experience how happily you’ll reward him with your honeyed words and sweet touches later tonight, when it’s just the two of you alone together. it concerns him, slightly, if he were to be honest, how easily you have him wrapped around your finger—but that’s something to think about another day. 
the marines stutter and stammer but nothing coherent leaves their lips, all linguistic ability fading into nothing under the angered gaze of the Warlord.
”be thankful my beloved is as kind as she is,” the swordsman warns, all the while maintaining his hardened glare. “know that had she not vouched for you two, i’d have no problem killing you right where you stand.”
taglist: @irethepotato @i-reblog-fics-i-like @grierpilots
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hhughes · 1 day ago
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❝ 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 ❜❜
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𝓐bout ; some canon things in the “JWBCTY” universe. these headcanons touch on little characteristics about luke’s!bsf!reader , canon things about her relationships with people you’ll often see featured in blurbs or just canon events that happen within this AU.
𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 ; luke’s!bsf!reader x quinn hughes 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 ; headcanons. sfw. like one use of y/n , beware lol. 𝔁𝓸 𝓬𝓪𝓶𝓲 ; these are little things I envision about luke’s!bsf!reader and the universe this is set in while I’m writing. she’s very much set up to be an OC but all of my writing will be done in reader!insert format and therefore she’s not completely an original character and can be read as reader insert. as I said before this au is set up differently than my previous ones, and you as the reader are “playing” the character. these little things are not completely set in stone and just like you are imagining that you’re luke’s best friend while reading, you can imagine that any of the following things are true and canon in this little universe. that being said, it's very much a take what you want and leave what you don’t type of situation because many of these details won’t be heavily present in the writing, unless you as the reader request and ask for it to be. this is meant to give you some freedom in how you want things to go down , but still leaves room for requesting specific things if you want to. if you have any questions about the formatting of this au or any thoughts at all, don’t hesitate to drop by the inbox. this is a growing list so be sure to add to it if you’d like by sending stuff in <33
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꒰੭ Y/N L/N (reader / you) ᭪
also known as . . . quinn’s angel, sweet girl and sweetheart. luke’s very best friend in the whole wide world (don’t tell duker). jack’s little sister (that he never asked for but has always wanted). trevor’s partner in crime. (feel free to use any of the nicknames mentioned when requesting so you don’t have to say [luke’s!bsf!reader] each time , unless you prefer that <3)
is the same age as luke. there’s a bit of an age gap between you and quinn.
majoring in chemical engineering at the university of michigan. graduating june ‘25.
has a sweet tooth. the guys all carry around a stock of candy and sweet treats when they know they’re gonna be in your presence because they know you love to snack on them.
very bubbly and happy. you love to see the best in people and try to find the positive in every situation.
you like reading. something you and your hughes boys have in common , although your taste in books might be a little different. >_<
as a result of your sweet tooth , you’re an avid baker. you love baking and the guys both love and hate it because they can never say no to one of your baked goods.
you don’t have a big family so you always enjoy being included in hughes family events
you’re a bit introverted and a bit extroverted and often switch between the two depending on how you feel on the day.
you’re very stubborn and like to do things by yourself and in the way you wanna do them. you’re not someone that likes to accept help from others, but you are someone who loves helping others. ( this frustrates quinn to no end )
little quirks/habits include . . . cracking your knuckles when nervous (something you picked up from luke), blowing your hair out of your face, biting your lip when you’re deep in thought.
you’re giggly/clingy/overly affectionate when drunk. constantly telling everyone how much you adore them and how much they mean to you.
꒰੭ you and luke ᭪
you and luke are the definition of platonic soulmates. from the moment you met as kids, throughout your awkward tween years and angsty teen phases, to going to umich together, you have seen each other at the lowest of lows and highest of highs and still decided to stick it out. no one knows you better than him and vice versa.
luke is very protective over you. even his own brothers have gotten a punch or two when they’ve said something to you that luke didn’t like. he also kind of inserts himself in your love life but it’s more a ‘you’re my best friend and I want what’s best for you’ rather than ‘i’m secretly in love with you’
he’s very oblivious to the feelings you have for quinn, and even more oblivious to the way his older brother has eyes for you.
both of you are very good listeners and you often have movie nights where you just rant to each other about whatever is happening in your lives. those movie nights turn into long face times when luke goes to the nhl.
because luke knows you so well , it becomes harder and harder to keep your feelings for his oldest brother a secret, especially when you and quinn start sneaking around behind his back :\
꒰੭ you and jack ᭪
you and jack have a very open and honest friendship. it’s very no-filter and both of you have no issue giving it to the other one straight.
unlike your and luke’s friendship where you’ll rant about your issues and you and luke will discuss and come up with solutions together , you and jack just call each other out on your bullshit, and tell each other to get it together.
jack also sees right through you and quinn and has no problem teasing both of you about it. he’ll constantly make comments that has you burning your face in a pillow out of embarrassment, quinn giving him death glares and luke just crinkling his nose in confusion.
jack is more your big brother than he is a friend. and he has no problem giving you the tough brother love as we’ve established. but he really does adore you like his little sister and he always has your back whenever you need it.
you and jack are kind of a handful together. you’re similar in a lot of ways and that means you have a lot of fun together. you’re the kind of duo who will playfully sabotage one another just bc you’re both extremely competitive.
while jack doesn’t have the same over protective streak that luke has, he does keep an eye on things when it comes to you. while luke is ‘don’t do this, it’s a bad idea and it’s gonna blow up in your face’ type of protective, jack is the ‘do what you’re gonna do, i’ll be there if something goes wrong’ although he’s not gonna be happy about it.
jack always introduces you as his little sister, never offering an explanation when people look at him in confusion because to him, that’s simply just what you are.
꒰੭ you and trevor ᭪
you and trevor really are partners in crime and you get up to the silliest things together. could be spontaneous water balloon fights at the lake house or him telling the people at the movie theatre that you’re pregnant cause he wants to sneak snacks in, you’re just always in on a joke together. trevor knows no matter what insane plan he’s cooking, he can convince you to join him, and he loves that about you.
you and trevor do this thing ; secret for a secret. he gives you a secret and you give him one and you’re both not allowed to bring it up again unless the other person wants to talk about it. he was the first one you told about your crush on quinn.
you and trevor constantly play wingman and woman for each other whenever you guys go out to bars.
much like jack, trevor doesn’t have much of a filter, and he’s not afraid to tell you when you’re being ridiculous about something
both of you are the life of the party and wherever you do, everyone else knows it’s gonna be a good time. (you, trevor and jack together? who needs anyone else)
trevor is so good at seemingly not caring what other people think and he definitely passes that on to friends closest to him. (you/jack) he builds your confidences soo much.
you’re one of few people trevor knows he can 100% be himself; and you won’t judge him for it.
the best therapy with trevor isn’t talking—it’s just being with him. his presence is just infectious. whether it’s playing video games, watching movies for hours, or simply throwing paper airplanes around the living room, trevor has this way of distracting you from your worries without even trying. he’s the kind of friend who just gets it and lets you be
trevor is also a shameless flirt and can’t help but harmlessly flirt with you every now and then. hey! you can’t blame him, you’re funny, smart, freaking gorgeous, if the guy thought for one second you were actually interested, and he was the kinda guy who could commit, he’d go for it ^_^
꒰੭ you and quinn ᭪
even before the two of you got together a lot of your interactions were filled with small little touches. a hand on the waist as he moves past you, a hand on your thigh as he leans over you on the boat to do something. small touches that would leave a thousand butterflies in your stomach; and quinn’s palms clammy
you’ve always had a bit of a childhood crush on quinn, and that crush only grew as he moved away and you went to michigan a few years later. your childhood crush transforming into more serious feelings with every summer he comes home
whenever quinn feels jealous/upset about seeing you with other guys , he always chalks it up to feeling overprotective because you’re luke’s bestfriend but deep down he knows it’s more than that.
and everyone knows that you’re close to the hughes family but whenever someone asks quinn what you are to him he can’t really seem to find the words. it’s always some version of “she’s special to my family” or “my little brothers best friend”. either way it’s never “she’s this to me” and that’s lead you to believe that you really are nothing more than his little brother’s best friend to quinn even if that’s not really how he feels about you
after the two of you get together, everyone sees that you’re perfect for one another and can’t imagine either of you with anyone else
both of you are so supportive of each other. you never miss the opportunity to celebrate each other no matter how small the success. whether it’s you finishing a big project at work, or quinn scoring a goal, you just love seeing each other succeed.
you guys are so the “I can do it” and “I know you can, but I want to couple”
while you and quinn might not seem as close as the other guys, you guys did still grow up together and you have your own little friendship and rituals. you and quinn will send each other ten photos at the end of every week to catch each other up on what you did that week. and sometimes neither of you respond or text about anything else. it’ll just be those ten pictures, but neither of you have ever skipped a week since it started.
quinn is just as protective of you as luke and jack, if not more so. (definitely more so)
everyone always teases quinn about you. telling him how you have a crush on him. and you’re his little soft spot, but he always just brushes it off, even if he knows there’s some truth to it.
whenever quinn is having a rough week, he’ll call you just to hear your voice. and he’ll automatically feel better. and whenever you do the same, he always has flowers and desert delivered afterwards.
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note: just a little reminder again that you take what you want from this, and leave what you don’t. it’s not gonna play a huge role in the au and you can read all writing pieces as independent little stand alone pieces. this is just to add enrichment to the plot, or characters and dynamics if you wish to <33
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ihfmseatsoch · 12 hours ago
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hi erm do you take requests. and if so can I pretty please get a masc reader raping Jimmy after finding out what happened to Anya fic (I want to tear this disgusting man’s ass up so bad it makes me look stupid)
OHH my gosh anon i understand you so deeply. rape that mans ass to shreds!!!!!!! i hope this is alright :3
Jimmy Zare x masc!reader
reader refers to themself as a guy and has a dick
genre: smut, dark fic
word count: 2.8k
warnings/content: rape, you shot jimmy in the legs lol, several mentions of anyas sexual assault, no prep, loss of virginity, (on jimmys end) (literally) hate sex, rough sex, jimmys a little crybaby, death threats
"Are you scared, Jim?"
You crouch to ground level with the man– no, calling him a man would imply that he has some sort of humanity left in him. The monster in front of you, both of his kneecaps wounded by the bullets you shot with your own hands, glares at you with pure vitriol.
You've actually tried pretty hard to stay in your new captains good graces these past couple months. Of course, it was only for the sake of self preservation. Who would willingly befriend such an arrogant, self-centered, pessimistic asshole like Jimmy? Besides Curly, for whatever reason.
But it wasn't until Anya, at her wits end and on the verge of yet another mental break, confided in you about her pregnancy, and her assailant; none other than Jimmy fucking Zare.
You couldn't say you were surprised that he lacked basic morality. Maybe morality can no longer apply to the situation you're all stuck in, all of you just trying to survive at whatever cost. Every man for himself, right?
Even so, monsters deserve to be punished. And luckily, Jimmy is still alive to feel whatever you force him to take. Whether it be the insults you hurl at him, or physical torture; like the bullets embedded deep in his muscles, immobilizing him, his autonomy ripped away.
"It doesn't feel good, does it? Not having the option to worm your way out of the mess you've made."
Jimmy gives you he most contemptuous, disgusted look, like you're the evil one here. He let out a frustrated growl, his voice was low and venomous. "You think you're so fuckin', righteous, huh? Acting like you're any better than me." His lips curl downwards in a sneer.
You may not be any more of a good person than he is. You've stooped to his level, after all, resorting to violence. But as the saying goes, you reap what you sow, and Jimmy has yet to pay for anything he's done. All the pain and trauma he's caused, not just to Anya, but dozens of poor women back on Earth. Men like him always get what's coming to them.
"This isn't a morality competition, Jim. We're all only human here. But you..."
Leaning in, you grip his boney jaw, forcing him to look at you, your eyes boring into his. He's terrified, you can tell.
"Honestly, you're less than dog shit."
It was clearly infuriating to him that he didn't have the ability to physically intimidate or overpower you. For once in his life, Jimmy's bravado had been shattered. He was unable to move away, to spit back his usual insults, as he was forced to stare into your cols eyes. You had the upper hand, and he hated it.
He hated being in the same position as the many others he's forced into.
His body tensed with anger as he tried to wrench his jaw out of your grasp, but your fingers dug too harshly into his skin. "Get... Get your goddamn hands off me, you... you–"
"You didn't listen to Anya when she begged you for the same thing. Isn't it ironic, the way karma works?"
The mention of Anya seemed to hit a nerve within him, his blood running cold, frigid through his veins. "I told her to keep her stupid mouth shu– fuck!–" A stabbing pain shot through his legs, causing his face to contort in agony.
Despite the pain and the fear welling up within him, he forced himself to speak through clenched teeth. "Shut... Shut the fuck up. Stop talking like you– like you know anything."
"I know enough. So does Swansea. Curly too, for what it's worth. Even if the useless fucker didn't do anything to reprimand you." You shove Jimmy onto his back, his head hitting the cold steel floor with a dull thud, hard enough to make him woozy for a moment. You can't find any empathy inside of you to care. As far as you're concerned, the creature in front of you isn't a person.
Clicking your tongue at the sight of him, you crawl over to his pathetic, writhing body, hovering above him. "Guess it's up to me to give you what's been comin' to you for a long fucking time, huh?"
Jimmy hissed in pain and tried, in vain, to scoot himself away, but his wounded legs refused to move, and he found himself trapped between you and the floor. For the first time in his life, he was in the position of a powerless victim.
His voice comes out embarrassingly strained and weak, "What're you gonna do, then? Kill me? You think that's the worst thing you could do to me? I've been ready to die. You'd be doin' me a fuckin' favor."
You dig your knee into his groin, putting a painful amount of weight onto him, a sharp cry escaping his lungs. "No. You don't deserve to die, that'd just give you a way out." Your hand reaches up to his neck, squeezing his windpipe just enough to make him struggle to breathe.
"I'm keeping you alive so you can feel every single thing I do to you."
Jimmy clawed uselessly at your hand, frantically trying to pry it away from his throat, the only thing he could manage to do with his legs unable to kick or thrash. "S– Stop–! Ghhkk– Don't–"
"You still think you deserve mercy? That's cute, Jim."
You roughly yank the buttons of his coveralls out of their loops, tearing away the first layer of protection he had between you and him. Not that the uniforms Pony Express gave you acted as a safeguard in the first place.
Jimmy feels exposed, vulnerable in a way he's never experienced before. Suddenly, he's very aware of the fact that he's at your mercy, and he can't do anything to stop you. Fear began to creep in, and he started to hyperventilate, panicked and desperate as he choked out a reply,
"I– I said s– stop, you fucking– I swear, when I can walk again, I'll–" He sputters, his sentence coming out broken and raspy from the pressure on his neck. You let go, only so you can focus on getting him undressed. He intakes a large gasp of air, coughing hoarsely.
"You'll what? What're you gonna do, Jimmy?" You mock him, keeping your tone extra condescending just to rub the humiliation in even more. "I'll tell you how this is gonna go; you're not walking for a good, long while. That's just reality, so get used to it."
You tug at his clothes until, albeit with a lot of struggle and fighting against Jimmy's flailing, his uniform is bunched around his ankles, leaving him in his grey long sleeve and underwear.
"And, while you're incapacitated– You grunt as you tug his boots off, throwing them carelessly aside to make it easier to slip the garment completely off his body.
"I think you can guess what's gonna happen to you."
Jimmy's face pales as the realization of what you plan on doing fully dawns on him. His heart drops to the pit of his stomach, dread sinking into his gut. He can't escape this. "Wait, h– hold on, you can't– We... We can talk this through, just– get off of me–"
"I'm guessing you've never been with a guy before, huh? Nah, you're too... 'macho' for that." You flip him over, a sharp, throbbing pain rushing through his knees as he's forced to put pressure on his wounds to prop himself up. "Might as well give you your first experience before we all die here, yeah?"
Jimmy tries to scramble away from you, but his wounded legs barely move an inch. He cries out in agony, his eyes welling up with tears from the excruciating pain in his joints. He looks over his shoulder at you, his eyes wide, filled with fear.
"No, Wait, stop–! Don't– You can't do this, please, I–" He tried to keep his voice hard and defiant, but terror had seeped into it, causing his words to quiver and falter.
"Oh, I can't, but you can?" You scoff at his ability to still be a raging hypocrite, even in the position he's in. "You think the world bends to your fuckin' will, don't you? Curly sure did. Maybe that's what makes you feel so entitled. You were enabled."
With a swift tug, his fabric is pulled down just enough to expose his ass to you. "Not anymore. Never again."
Jimmy's pride, the only thing he had left, had begun to crumble beneath him.
He's scared.
He prayed for someone, anyone, to intervene in the situation. But the cargo hold was empty, devoid of any soul besides you two. Jimmy choked back a sob, his vision growing blurry with tears. His voice was strained as he pleaded, "P– Please, d– don't do this. I'm... I'm sorry–"
Completely ignoring his incessant pleas at this point, you carelessly fondle his ass, roughly handling what little amount of fat his had on his bones. "Oh, I'm sure." You mumble, your sarcasm audible.
Spreading his cheeks apart, you make a 'tsk' sound at the sight of his tight, untouched virgin asshole. "Sheesh, that's gonna be a tight fit." You speak your thoughts aloud, just to make his face burn redder with utter humiliation. He could vomit right now.
"I swear, I'm gonna fucking kill you." He snarls, voice breaking with the emphasis he put on the word 'kill', his teary eyed glare full of unadulterated disdain and loathing for you. "I'll find a way. I'll find a way to blow your fucking brains out."
He can't even move, and yet he's still trying to get the upper hand, as if he's some kind of cornered dog, snarling and snapping at your heels in defiance to the very end.
"Mhm." You don't take him seriously, knowing that without serious medical attention, which Anya obviously won't be providing, he's essentially screwed, for a lack of a proper description of his situation. You palm your semi-hard dick, stroking the outline of your length through the fabric. You hate this man, you really do, but you can't deny the excitement you feel from giving someone like him a taste of his own medicine.
You can't tell yourself it won't be satisfying to make him feel everything Anya felt, because it will. It will be the most gratifying thing you ever do.
You gather up a wad of spit in your mouth before spitting on his hole, saliva being only available lubricant. It may not be the best, but he doesn't deserve the comfort a proper lube would give him anyway. He physically cringes at the feeling.
"I'm not gonna bother prepping you. That'd be too nice." You considered not even warning him of this, but you liked seeing him scared. You liked seeing the way his breathing picked up in panic, his heart rate bordering on tachycardia.
"Fuck you," he spat with the hostility of a rabid dog. "You're gonna regret this. I won't let you–"
Jimmy's empty threats are interrupted when he feels the head of your dick prodding at his hole, and you chuckle lowly at his shudder. "Shhh. All you've gotta worry about from now on is getting me off."
Before he can even think, you're already pushing yourself inside him. The sting is unlike any kind of pain he's ever felt, even compared to his current wounds, which have actually gone half numb from the sheer amount of pain they're in. Jimmy cries out a broken wail, gritting his teeth, his tears pooling onto the floor as he squeezes his eyes shut.
You groan as you struggle to fit inside him even halfway, spitting on his hole again for good measure. "Hah– holy shit, Jim. I can already tell you won't be a half bad fleshlight for me."
Jimmy trembles from the utter discomfort he feels from the unwelcome penetration. He wants to scream, but all that comes out is pathetic, choked sobs, his cheek laying in a puddle of his own tears. "Fuck you, fuck you..." He snivels, blubbering.
You hardly even acknowledge him as he weeps, managing to jam yourself halfway inside him, his walls clenching like a vice around your shaft. "God, you're probably tighter than a girl." You laugh, your palm coming down harshly on his ass, just so you can watch him jolt. You snake a hand around his torso to grab his cock, noticing it's flaccidity. "Damn, you're not even hard," You comment without much sympathy, simply verbalizing your observation, "Not that I care, but it'd be funny if you got off on this too."
Jimmy, unable to recoil out of your grasp, can only cringe harder than he ever has. "You're sick," he hissed, "I'll tell everyone, you can't get away with–"
"You really think any of them will feel bad for you?" You roll your eyes in annoyance, growing tired of how irksome he is. "Jeez, I wish I could gag you with something. You're the most concieted egomaniac–" You grunt as you snap your hips against his, your dick shoved to the hilt inside him, "–That I have ever met."
Jimmy ceases his griping for once, laying there like a defenseless ragdoll. What else can he do? He's short of options, a plan, support... he has nothing. Nothing and no one will save him this time. The inside of his hole aches excruciatingly, agony washing over his entire body, his neck is cricked to the side, irritating the muscle which is sure to be unbearably tender later. A lasting reminder of how weak he really is.
His hole loosens to take your cock as you thrust with an impetuous rhythm, hearing him whine at every brutish snap of your hips. The way his slick walls drag along your shaft makes you feel a fervid sense of carnality, knowing you've reduced him to a mere object. A receptacle. "Fuck, I didn't think you'd feel this good. That's something you've got going for you." You utter throatily, groping his hips to pull him back and forth on your dick.
He wants to die. He wishes you would've just killed him and threw his bloated corpse out of the airlock, never to be seen again in the vast outskirts of space. Shit, he would've been fine with you just abandoning him to rot in here alone. But he hasn't earned your mercy, or anyone's. Jimmy feels every inch of your cock violating and slamming carelessly deep inside him
"I hope this hurts." You confirm scornfully that yes, you're aware he's in pain, and you're very pleased with yourself. "This is exactly what she felt, and this is exactly what you deserve."
Jimmy silently prays to a god he's never believed in to make you stop, or just cum already and be done with him. "Ple–ease...–" he finds himself mewling miserably, running out of both the tears, and strength to cry. He finds himself completely detaching from reality, clinging onto the hope that this will be over soon. If he can live through this, he'll be okay. His dissociative, quiet state makes it all the more easy for you to ignore his humanity.
You feel the familiar buildup of warmth stirring in your gut, balls tightening annoyingly soon. You wanted to prolong his suffering, but you've been just as pent up as anyone else would be during an 8+ month long haul. The difference between you and Jimmy was that you could hold back and not give into your own selfish desires.
Another difference between you two is that you can get away with this, not suffering from any ramifications. But him? If you're all miraculously saved from this hell you're trapped in, he won't be exempt from the consequences of his actions. The other, less favourable outcome being the ship runs out of oxygen and food, and you're all forced to die slowly, but the one positive aspect is that Jimmy still wouldn't be getting out scott free. In every way, he lost.
With a drawn out growl, you fill him to the brim with warm, thick ropes of cum. When you catch your breath and pull out, you watch the sticky, white substance seep from his gaping hole. It drips down his shaking thighs, which collapse under him, and he falls to his side, curled up in a piteous ball, hugging himself tightly and hiding his face as he tries to ignore the throbbing pain in his ass and imagine himself somewhere else. Though, he doesn't exactly know where to escape to. He's never had a 'happy place', so to speak.
Picking yourself up off the ground and brushing yourself off, you tut at the comical display of cowardice in front of you. You kick his quivering body in the ribcage for good measure as you tuck yourself back into your uniform.
"See you next time, Captain." You sneer, speaking to him with shocking casualness, leaving the cargo hold without a second glance back at him.
The words "next time" replay tauntingly in his head as he lay there, paralyzed with terror.
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stxrrynxghts · 3 days ago
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Re-watching Star Plus Mahabharat (1/?)
DISCLAIMER: Whatever I say in this is about the CHARACTERS as per the way this SHOW showed them. The show=/= The Ved Vyasa Mahabharata. Don't want any more controversies, lmao. IF I mention any canon event, I will state IT. So pls, DNI if you can't handle a joke/criticism.
Starting with a shankh naad and the iconic promo woohooo
show start karte hi Arjun ke darshan ho gaye. WAAH. No but really. The face card is insane.
Why are their mukuts dangling tho o_O
Me thinking why is Satyavati shown as a main character since she is js there for the 1st quarter of the story, but then I realized that the entire reason all of this happens is because she was so manipulative during the Princess of Kashi portion, lol.
Krishna posing to give me a jaadu ki jhappi ToT
Okay, we are greeted by some classical music. I feel so peaceful.
ANDDD now that I have seen Shatanu and Satyavati, my mood is ruined.
Why are they having an affair tho
Shantanu not liking being a king and complaining. Funny how his descendants are going to have a blown war to GET this burden, LOL. #richpeopleproblems
ANDDD now we are going to be shown how ambition is bad.
Arre, why let poor Satya get all the blame? Where is her Daddy?
Satyavati: im greedy af, Shantanu: wanna be yours *puppy eyes*
Ladki ka chakkar, babu bhaiya, ladki ka chakkar
Krishna being happy in his lil garden uwu
Bhishma arriving with his superman style entry XDD
There was no need to put his feet in that kichad tho
Hastinapur ki praja being tortured by Bhima's future in-laws while Shantanu is busy doing aashiqui haha
Satyavati being rightfully shocked tbh
Ok but I thought Maharani, aka Queen, is a person who a) inherits the throne and rules in her own right, aka Queen REGNANT, or b) marries a King, aka Queen Consort??? What does that have to do with whether your son sits on the throne or not o_O
Not all of them assuming that they will have sons, what if you had daughters, Satyavati
OK BUT SOMEONE PLS WRITE AN AU WHERE SATYAVATI GIVES BIRTH ONLY TO GIRLS, I WANNA KNOW THE CHAOS THAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT PLS
Bhishma willingly signing on a slavery contract LOL
Ok but Im genuinely curious. How will Satyavati be a good queen tho? She is prolly not as well educated as princesses are, neither is she trained to be queen...
Bhishma: Make Vichitraveerya Great Again (except he was never gr8 to start with, lol)
I see, even Drupad's Father/Grandfather is fiery af. Runs in the blood, eh?
Okay but wait a sec. The Panchal King is right tho. Bhishma cannot interfere in the matters of their state, even if HIS prince is the one to do all the shit. He is a criminal, and he cannot violate the rules of other kingdoms!
Srsly, Bhishma time and again, in both canon and the show, gets his will done by the other Kingdoms, who do not oppose even if it's wrong because they know that they will be killed. Is he an unknown bully, by that standard?
Unnamed Panchal King, you are my fav from now on
Ok so, this is Prishata. Okay okay. Noice.
Vichitraveerya being cocky af. There are some things that Bhishma can't protect you from, like TB.
EW VICHITRAVEERYA SPAT ON HIM
bro clearly lacks etiquette and manners.
I'm sorry but Vichitraveerya really needs the belt treatment
Bhishma comparing Vichitraveerya to Hanuman o_O
Okay but PANCHAL cannot punish Vichitraveerya for committing crime on their land, but BHISHMA can abduct princesses from Kashi without their permission? Hypocrite much, eh?
Not Bhishma using his warrior skills so that the other kingdoms follow Hastinapur's bidding o_o
this is unfair af
poor Panchal tho, why are they being mistreated so much like can't even punish a criminal who burnt their fields
OH WOW, So not only has Bhishma entered Panchal to stop the justice system from carrying out justice, he also brought an entire army with him?!
I bet all my life savings that Shikhandi is Prishata's fav grandkid, lol
Amba doing the same crime that Vichitraveerya did XDDDD
NGL, but Amba's makeup is on point.
What is Shalva doing with Arjun's earrings and Dury's mukut
Vichitraveerya is so incompetent, GOD
Hm, Bhishma, I'm sure 99% royals drink, both male and female. Surely they must not be drunkards like your bro, tho.
um....Kuru and Panchal are enemies? Since when tho?
OH MAYBE ALL THE KURU PRINCES GO AND COMMIT CRIMES IN PANCHAL AND ESCAPE WITHOUT PUNISHMENT HMMMM
Krishna giving pottery class lmfao
Satyavati is that mom who thinks that her bahu will fix her son.
Bhishma going to interrupt a swayamavara and take the decision to marry on their own from 3 girls, LOL. How tf is this dharma?
At least in the show, Bhishma is against this. In canon, he js justified his actions saying that this form of marriage (aka rakshasa vivaha) is upheld by saints o_O
Bhishma, I like you, but why do you so much questionable stuff in the first half of MB
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thatgoddamngingerundercut · 8 months ago
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Run BTS Challenge Suga and Jimin
bonus:
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ismyteadoneyet · 1 month ago
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“[...] tell me what you’ve got there...?” Furina said, sheepishness turning to perplexity. “... Food?” Arlecchino asked matter-of-factly, trying to disguise her nervousness behind a serious façade.  “Do you intend for us to eat an entire gramophone, and how did it even get here?!” Furina exclaimed. “I carried it.” “YOU CARRIED… AN ENTIRE GRAMOPHONE… OVER HERE???”  - 'Guilt of the helpful' by @draconicstella88888, chapter 7
I know what you're thinking; "What is that ???? Fanart of another franchise???? Could it be done?????". I would be as shocked as you are, if not for the fact that This Moment in the glorious ArleFuri fanfic linked above, written by my beloved bestie @draconicstella88888, leads up to what might be one of the most stunning parts of writing I have ever read. Genuinely had me at a loss for words when I first read it, which I will brag about being one of the first ones to do, because I have been handed the honors of actually beta reading this beautiful story !!
If you haven't already, take this as a sign that y'all should read this too! You don't even have to know anything about the game lore to enjoy it enough to have scenes live in your head rent-free for days and weeks and months on end. Take me as an example of that lol <333
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 10 months ago
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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
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oceanwithouthermoon · 8 months ago
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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dimonds456-art · 8 months ago
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Maladaptive daydreaming.
#daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive behaviors#maladaptive coping#dissociation#immersive daydreaming#dimond speaks#yeah so adding this to my list here lol#my therapist helped me realize i dissociate a LOT and the primary way i do it is through vivid daydreams#they usually happen at work but they also pop up if i'm having a bad day or... anytime really.#i've also come to the realization that i have at least one of these a day which is not good fgsjh#my therapist says they're not inherently bad especially since they do have a positive effect on my emotions (if its a good daydream)#but it's gotten to the point that it's affecting the way i work#and they can last for a LONG time too#i haven't timed them but i do know they've been over 30 minutes at work before#this is either due to ADHD autism PTSD or a mixture of the three lmao#weeeee#anyway. this post isn't really intended to be a vent post#it's more like a 'this is my experience' type post#it just kinda comes across as somewhat vent-y#but that was because i wanted to try and immerse the reader into what its like to have these daydreams#like mine look NOTHING like this but making it more generic would help others understand it#the void is the general dissociation from reality#then you emerge in the dream#i can feel things as if i'm there- the sun the wind and sometimes even physical touch#and i'll stay there until something snaps me out#strangely i can get my work done while i'm doing this- i just wont have any memory of doing so. it's like being on autopilot#anyway. I hope this post was helpful to someone out there#if you also maladaptive daydream YOU ARE NOT ALONE! it's valid and you're not 'faking' anything. it's a genuine trauma response.
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sysig · 14 days ago
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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shima-draws · 6 months ago
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Been having a rough couple of days. Send me asks?
#Long story short: I’m quitting my job! Yippee!! 🎉#Don’t wanna get TOO into it but I’m so fucking tired of being treated like shit and getting blamed for things completely out of my control#I’m done. I’ve BEEN done for months at this point#And now it’s at the point where my boss doesn’t think I’m doing my job right bc she keeps finding issues that again. Aren’t my fault#I’m sorry I can’t control everything for you! I don’t have that kind of power! I can’t make things magically happen the way you want!!#My other coworkers have been undergoing the same bullshit treatment so I know I’m not alone#But yeah I’m getting the hell out of dodge. My mental health has been sooooooo bad lately#I cannae. I’m going to end up dead in a ditch at this rate#Had the WORST panic attack of my life yesterday and my mom and I were both like. Yeah. It’s time for you to leave#Have fun running the department without me! Bye!! :)))))#Shima speaks#Vent#Anyway I’m a goddamn mess. Sorry. Lol!#I’m dreading going back to work on Monday I would literally rather claw my own eyeballs out#It SUCKS bc I know none of this is my fault but I still feel like shit anyway.#And I WANT to draw bc it’s the one thing that makes me happy but I just#Can’t. Right now. I’m not in a good emotional state#It feels like physical torture to sit down at my desk and put my pen to my tablet#Slams my head into the wall#I’m soooo tired girlies. I’m so over it#Anyway. Send me asks. Keep me company while I try not to have another breakdown. Tee hee <3
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icewindandboringhorror · 8 months ago
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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quinn-pop · 1 year ago
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im not sure what happened to me but suddenly i love queen ripple and she’s my new dress up doll
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anyway, let’s talk about her!!
taking the fact that ribbon’s name is ribbon entirely too far (and going off their designs) i think it’d be cool if ripple star fashions leaned into frills, bows, and long or exaggerated silhouettes
since the planet is literally just a heart shape i imagine their aesthetics lean into that sort of romantic and elegant vibe. a lot of ivory, pinks, and reds
(ripple dresses up a little different to see her friends tho)
also flower and butterfly motifs. because they’re fairies of course <3
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think it’d be a little ironic if butterflies were a symbol of beauty and all that…
also she’s friends with carol and dedede. they can go to pta meetings or something /j
(taranza can come sometimes too because he’s cool and it makes sense to me)
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btw ripple star probably exports a lot of silks (because silkworms in a land of butterflies feels right) and luxury items whereas dreamland is more agriculture focused + maybe some livestock and furs
…yeah i’m saying these places reflect their rulers basically. ripple star can be a little more traditional and whatnot. that’s what makes ripple so endeared to her dreamland friends—they’re silly! and yeah, tragic princess angle, it’s my favorite trope—i think that would really pull at her heart
i won’t get into that right now, but i gotta imagine getting possessed gives you a lot to think about lol
…gah i have so many thoughts on this
there isn’t much to go off of in canon, sure, but i think there’s a lot of interesting directions something like that could go ^^
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 3 months ago
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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