#i know none of it makes sense
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kinda popping off with the spec-ops jargon in the next chapter of bloodsport (enjoy this small progress update <3)
edit: this chapter is probably going to be around 6-7k. it’s been like 2 weeks since the last update, so consider it an apology :)
#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#makarov x reader#vladimir makarov x reader#i know none of it makes sense#i’m stupid and don’t know the military shh#also know that graves looks nice. trust me— i hate him. he’s getting blown up at some point#if you think i’m joking. i’m not. that bitch is getting exploded#sorry if i’m annoying anyone in the fandom tags btw ily 🫶🩷#sylph.talks
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someone asked if i had ever drawn gojo with his scars, now i have :>
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this outfit i swear im gna get called out as a fake gojohater#its not my fault its the best one he gets#speaking of which i am enjoying the relative bliss before this fight n this outfit are animated sighs i already know its gna b mayhem#but ths neither here nor there ths none of my business#anyway this gojo took a lot longer than it should have also but i had some mishaps with th pose >:/ iykyk#i also wanted to like. toe th line with his expression between unsettling and relaxed if that makes sense??#mostly i didnt want him to look too genuine#idk how successful i was but i am Happy with it i think#or maybe its just the exhaustion talking#tbh im past exhaustion i think i spent over 14hrs drawing today i have been up since 7am and i am pretty sure my blood is energy drink#rings dinner bell gojolikers come get ur food#anon who asked i hope u enjoy! ty fr the request even if it was gojo /silly
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Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.
Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU
#knitting#no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means#How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles#Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me#Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice#How do I join the pattern cult#I am so confused#I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders#I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources#And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me#I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling?#Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language#And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction
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One of the most bizarre feelings imo is finding out about a prejudice you didn't know existed
Like. I only recently found out that there's areas IN MY OWN COUNTRY where discrimination against Italian people is a genuine problem
Like
I definitely know WHY I always assumed Racism was a prejudice more dependant on differences in skin colour but holy shit damn yeah okay so there's also ultraviolet racism too huh, we're all just drinking the shitty bitch water then
#I don't know why I'm surprised#And I fear I don't have the education yet to fully grasp this#But in my specific area colorism is the biggest visible aspect of our racist culture#So like#None of this stupid shit makes sense but now it makes EXTRA no sense#Like they ain't even scared cause you look different#But yeah dam n it does drive home that all this crap is politically driven huh#Like as much as fuckers pretending it's science to back up racist rhetoric about why a race is better or worse#It totally does prove that these biases are absolutely arbitrary with no grounds in reality#No heritage is fundamentally DIFFERENT when you get down to it#People is people#Why didn't we talk about this in social studies back in school it's a fascinating angle#It would really have driven it home to a room full of white kids too#We would have been blown away
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the leverage team would have had a games night… once. everyone cheated so much and in such increasingly extreme ways that all mentions of monopoly are banned in their headquarters (this makes talking about marks who monopolize the market very confusing)
#leverage#nate wouldn’t cheat but he’d be by far the most annoying still. like he’d conduct a whole Scheme to win and give a little monologue wheneve#he made a good move and everyone would want to kill him#parker woukd obvs be stealing money & cards and she’d move their pieces and swap their stuff#but also she’d try to use her turn to rob the bank#sophie would use neurolinguistic programming and dominate the board w properties#which somehow parker would literally never land on and that’s incredibly suspicious but none of them really know how she could possibly be#manipulating that fact? it’s logically impossible bc they’re watching her roll the die and move the piece and sophie knows which properties#she owns so it makes no sense. but parker is parker and she simply will not be caught (even by sophie’s properties)#hardison has studied monopoly theory (yes there are math theories on how to play monopoly) and /tries/ to abide by them but again. sophie i#manipulating him and parker is stealing from him (and sometimes oddly enough *for* him. new money ends up in his bank somehow) so it’s hard#so eventually he resorts to cheating like Everyone Fucking Else and does pretty well bc he rlly does know what sets he wants etc.#eliot is genuinely playing normally. no cheating no math stuff no schemes.#but he’s just sitting there fuming the entire time bc they’re all very obviously messing with the game and he Knew this was gonna happen bu#goddamn hardison & parker especially know how to get on his nerves (often purposely)#he calms down by making some snacks and. resorting to also cheating lol.#leverageposting
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getting the attention of the humanoid typhoon
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#wolfwood menace arc#he also wouldnt know HOW obvious to make it so he's just ramping it up throughout the day#but vash is sooooo used to repressing but also experiencing this kind of want so strongly for the first time#makes him wear the most obvious expressions.... while wolfwood is ALSO not used to being wanted in this way so he would be none the wiser#to vash's obvious expressions -- does that make sense. theyre silly. theyre so silly its like an endless loop#and then wolfwood is like ok i guess im doing something wrong or maybe he just doesnt want me like that. whatever! we move on#vash: dying crumbling - wondering if ww is doing it on purpose but also too nervous to ask until he starts literally taking off layers#ruporas art
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and you may say to yourself: "my god! what have i done?" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife!" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house!" and you may ask yourself: "well, how did i get here?"
time isn't holding up, time isn't after us, time is a pony ride! (images described in alt text)
#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#LETTING THE [FIDDLEFORD FRI]DAYS GO BY#“sir it's tuesday” i know. my computer has been busted for two weeks so i couldn't post them when i wanted to. just let me have this#again still new to alt text. i like being a little bit silly but let me know if it gets in the way of accessibility#artwork of the damned#uhhhh yeah this is actually something ive kind of wanted to draw for years now#favorite guy + favorite band = prime high-effort meme material#also. for the record. yes i have a mcgucket playlist. yes it has three talking heads songs on it. no none of them are “once in a lifetime”#also also i know that the lyrics in the description are in the wrong order. it's on purpose. i put them backwards for dramatic effect#also also also i'm pretty sure the “time is a pony ride” line is not actually sung on the album version of the track#but if you listen to/watch the live version from “stop making sense” you will hear it!#as well as hear a much more satisfying ending to the song imo. rather than it just fading out it has some really nice vocals#basically the moral of this story is you should watch “stop making sense”#if you made it to the end of the tags: congrats! you win a prize! the prize is permission to reblog this post
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It's kind of funny (heartbreaking) that there were multiple Ravens who wanted a number, to the point where some tried to manipulate Jean into helping them one way or another, but none of them would have been next in line. No matter what they did, there was always someone ahead of them on the list. Someone who wasn't even on the team. That someone wasn't Neil. Neil was a surprise to everyone, including Riko. That someone was Andrew.
Kevin might have had to beg Riko to go visit Andrew, and Riko might have laughed at Kevin and dismissed Andrew when Andrew turned him down, but make no mistake, if Andrew had accepted and had become a Raven, he would have taken that #4 spot within his first year.
If we're being real, Andrew had more of a chance at becoming part of the perfect Court than any of those Ravens ever had. Even Jean thinks of Andrew as one of them.
The other Ravens never stood a chance.
#i honestly dont think any of the ravens stood a chance#if they werent inked within their first year (or begore it) then they prob never would have been even if riko lived and the nest continued#riko (and kevin) seemed to choose people to recruit already knowing they'd be perfect court#like riko tried to get neil to join the ravens already knowing hed make him perfect court (in order to keep a claim on him)#and i fully believe kevin scouted andrew with full intentions of making him perfect court#so none of those other ravens who were torturing jean ever stood a chance#it was all for naught#idk if this makes any sense#it's like 12:30am where i am and im just rambling lol i should be asleep#anyway#aftg#all for the game#the sunshine court#the sunshine court spoilers#tsc spoilers#tsc#andrew minyard#neil josten#jean moreau#riko moriyama#kevin day#perfect court
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You guys don't yet comprehend the mess I made to make the undertale timeline make sense in this AU LMAO😭😭😭but you'll find out soon enough.......
But like....what was I supposed to do? The timeline makes no sense to begin with.....
#I understand Chara fell in 201× because Toby needed to trick the player but OHMYGOD WHY DID THEY FALL IN 201X THAT MAKES NO SENSE HOW LONG#WERE THE MONSTERS TRAPPED BEFORE CHARA FELL????#AND???#HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE CHARA AND ASRIEL DIED????#it's said to be HUNDREDS of years BUT???WHY IS THE TECHNOLOGY FROM WHEN THEY DIED ALMOST THE SAME AS THE CURRENT TECHNOLOGY???#sigh.#I will never understand the undertale timeline...#I made it have a *little* sense in this AU by weird methods......#okay I'm rambling#how long did it take for those 6 humans to fall............#since supposedly the gaps were SUPER long and none of our protagonists have ever seen a human...(except Asgore and Toriel)#I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG UNDYNE HAS BEEN CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD OR A MEMBER BUT SHE'S NEVER SEEN A HUMAN???#so many of the monsters we encounter directly said it's been a LONG time since the last human and they've never seen one#sighhhh#it's okay I made the timeline make a little sense.....#in a unique way....
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bau members + near death experiences
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminalmindsverse#proceduraledit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#cmverse#cmverseedit#tvedit#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#spencer reid#elle greenaway#penelope garcia#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#mine#edit#*#category*#tag meta#DO YOU EVER CRY FOR EMILY PRENTISS#every other member having something positive when they coded and none for emily prentiss byeeeeeee#i think what i hate (love) about it so much is that - as a show with no ~proof of an afterlife - it's a valid interpretation that#emily is doing this to herself. that everyone else's brain supplied them with comforting thoughts and people in their final moments#and in most cases something that person NEEDED to hear to bring them some fundamental sense of peace#except for emily. emily offered herself no comfort and no peace and i think that is truly one of the most heartbreaking things about her#whether she didn't think she deserved it or didn't know what to offer herself...the woman who is always running away from and back to#the people that she cares about...who she wants nothing more to protect and fears nothing more than hurting them...#who make her feel wonderful and terrible all at once...so what would she conjure to give herself peace? what /could/ she possibly see?
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testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags
#tes#skyrim#my art#do you like my nelvas emojis🧣📜🧣📜 get it? scarf🤗 and scroll🤗 Everything hurts sofucking bad#anyways i talked about them wif my friend quite a bit i basically 'agree' w/ everything that is written about them && their biology in -#- canon; except tes is very much all Talk and no good actual visual presentation of what it's talking about#cus all of the maormer look like garboooo likeee what am i looking @#but since this is just a first test i think i'll keep playing around with their looks later; they are most close to altmer obvi in the -#- sense of how 'mutated' they r. however maormer are more gross looking for the typical human#they do have flat faces and alldat in canon already but i want them to just have nostrils and no real nose bridge#and they have no lips😝 they also have very visible gums. && have anglerfish teeth#what would be fur on other mer is just scales on them and is placed is scattered in the same places#i was thinking of making swimming most comfortable for them so i gave them more fins#they'd have them on arms and legs and the hair on the tail for them is just a big fin🐠#as for hair i'm thinking of them having none of it at all bcos it looks sooooo ugly on them it's very unnerving to see hair on fish#either no hair at all or something with a different texture. like slimy silky thin seaweed#or the hair that m*necraft striders have LMAO#webbed fingers is cuuuute they'd have webbed armpits like they're those flying rodents🐿 lol#i'd place their gills on both the neck and their ribs#whenever they wear clothes they tie their arm and leg fins up ; i think from birth they just stay in water until they hit puberty and -#- r able to actually walk around#another cute fact is that males and females wud look literally the same almost (women are flat chested too)#fish fish fish#maybe i'll rethink some stuff. i still wanna draw fish babies#but in reality i think even the mere existence of maormer is very pointless bc they don't really matter at all do they#tes lore is soooo overstuffed that's why i don't know anything about it my time is so valuable to meLMFAOAOOO#saw a typo in this sorry i'm just chill like that
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more clone^2
snippet 21: Danny is Bruce Wayne's Clone and--
Star, with the rest of the A-List girls: alright ladies! it's time for our quarterly 'cutest boys' list! Now I'll get straight to the point, in our number one spot is--
All girls, in unison: Danny Fenton
Star, writing it down on a whiteboard: and for our number two spot--
---------- Snippet 22: clone meet clone
Ellie, dramatically: Danny!
Danny, equally dramatic: Ellie!
Ellie, pushing past him and looking around: where is he! i wanna see the little guy!
Damian, with a sword, brandishing it dangerously: *in arabic* don't come any closer, stay back!
Danny, wrapping an arm around Ellie's waist and pulling her back: woah, woah - he's still adjusting to everything
Danny, turning towards Damian with his google translate open: [please don't stab her. this is Ellie my clone.]
Damian, lowering his sword in disbelief: 'there's MORE of you?
-------------- Snippet 23: Ellie has the same epiphany as Danny
Ellie:...hey Danny
Danny, pouring over his arabic book: hm
Ellie: since I'm your clone, and you're a clone of Bruce Wayne, and Damian is a clone of Damian Wayne, does that technically mean I'm his mom - uh. dad-mom?
Danny:
Ellie:...its a fair question
Danny: .....*deep sigh* you're his cousin until further notice.
------------ Snippet 24: wait for me ii (hadestown, live vers.)
(i'm not sure of the context, but i've been thinking of Danny saying this to Damian during a serious moment for days. the snippet title is the song that the dialogue below is from)
Danny, fixing up Damian's wraith suit: the meanest dog you'll ever meet
Danny, zipping up damian's jacket: it ain't the hound dog in the street. he bares some teeth and tears some skin, but brother,
Danny, adjusting Damian's gloves, pausing to look him in the eye: that's the worst of him.
Danny, he holds a finger up to Damian's eyes and points it at him: the dog you really got to dread, is the one that howls inside your head
Danny, grabbing damian's mask and smoothing it over his eyes: it's him whose howling drives men mad, and a mind to its undoing
------------ Snippet 25: Danny is Bruce Wayne's clone-- (Battinson Vers*)
Ember, in the middle of a fight with Phantom + Wraith:
Ember, knocks off Phantom's mask for the first time: lets see what ugly mug you're really hiding under there, Phantom--
Phantom: *the wettest, most pathetic looking pretty boy on the planet*
Ember:
Phantom, dryly: what, did your mic die out or something? all that caterwauling finally make you lose your voice
Wraith, unsheathing his sword: *vibrating with baby brother rage bc he knows EXACTLy why Ember is silent*
----------- Snippet 26: Damian is finally starting to play nice :)
Dany: hey... guys.... whatcha doing
Damian, hanging out with Sam: Me and Manson are plotting ways to crush the Mayor's plan to cut budget funding for the city parks and cut down the native trees
Danny: oh, i see.... is this safe?
Sam: probably
Danny: hm.
------------- Snippet 27: digging up cold case
Danny: ....if Damian is out with Sam tonight with their plot against the mayor....
Danny, turning towards his desk: then that means I can work some more on Mrs. Witherbury's murder case that she asked me to solve without Dames guilt-tripping me into bed :)
Danny, settling down at his desk with a thermos full of coffee: i'm glad sam and damian are finally getting along
--------- Snippet 28: sparring
Damian, frowning: your reflexes are incredible but your combat is downright awful, brother. it's truly a miracle i didn't skewer you upon our first meeting
Danny, got his ass kicked by his 7yo brother: *groaning in pain* not everyone has super secret assassin training, Damian. And I don't really have time to actually practice anything.
Damian: Mrs. Fenton knows martial arts and her form is proficient enough, I'm sure she would be delighted to teach you if you asked. I will join since I need to keep my skills sharp and my training was unfinished when I arrived here.
-------- Snippet 29: daytime surprise
Phantom, fighting Skulker in broad daylight: *under his breath* at least Lancer's english test will get canceled for this...
Phantom, dodging a blast from Skulker: *in ASL, furious* don't you have anything better to do, you fuck!?
Skulker: foolish ghost child, speak! I know you're capable of it - speak before you lose the ability to
Phantom: *flips him off instead*
Wraith, sending back a ecto-blast with his sword: please pay attention, phantom
Phantom, doubletaking: *in a hissed whisper* what are you doing here!? it's a school day, you should be at school!
Wraith: Tt. If the boot fits.
------------ Snippet 30: guilt
Danny with his head on his desk, his elbows propped up as he massages his hands: hn
Damian, lurking to the side with a guilty look on his face:
Damian: can i....
Danny, silently holding his hand out to Damian: hrm
Damian, immediately taking it and doing the massages + finger exercises: ...im sorry
Danny: hm... I forgive you
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc au#dpxdc au#dp dc#dp dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#clone^2#this made me realize that Danny's ghosts PROBABLY don't know what he looks like under the mask for a WHILE#they just know he's a pain in the ass and also human and also insistent to get them back into the ghost zone#danny being the battinson bat clone is THE funniest thing to me like goddamn. you're a drowned kitten#does this imply that none of his rogues have seen his face in the two years before he got damian? yes. but wraith knowing why ember is#silent and being indignant with baby brother rage is so funny to me. protective little siblings ftw >>>>#dany being battinson bat makes so much sense because clone danny has no powers and runs around in a hoodie and jeans and baseball bat#and battinson is the exact amount of lanky and tall wet rat that seeing phantom WOULD be unsettling if you saw him at night.#also sam and damian get along but i dont know or think that damian would ever trust her tucker or jazz like he ever would with danny#he likes them and trusts them to take care of danny and him (to an extent) but he like. TRUSTS trusts danny.#hhhh fuck danny is permanently the battinson bat in my head fUCK. it makes so much sense#danny resorts to Batman Grunts when he’s overtired + in pain + unfocused
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who we really are
#trigun#vash#vash the stampede#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#Agtavious Art#ermm so this has been sitting in my files for a while#a whole ramble incoming!! cant go one post without rambles in tags somewhat related to drawing LMAO#brain has been going thru the horrors if none of this makes sense#well.#been getting a lot of coins cause I buy bread from the bakery after classes#they always end in .25 or .50 cents so I have a LOOOOOOT of change#and well wouldnt u know it what else has coins#went back to like ch. 64 and this drawing crawled out of my brain#me when he knows he knows that he knows that he knows 😨#just thought about how#wolfwood kinda got things off his chest in a way#and vash didnt#IF THAT MAKES SENSE#i saw the coin as smth for vash too???#they both knew smth was up with the other in some way but ww said it so like#srry if i sound crazy 💀#thinking is hard classes deep fried my brain 20 times#ive been getting posting shyness toooo uuurarrrghhh 😪#also#anyone know how to save drawings so the quality isnt shit?#idk what im doing wrong but it always looks blurry for me#tried changing res and canvas size but nothing works qwq
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Look I’ve watched the BTS footage a 100 times already. The thing is Oscar didn’t have to pop in. And Lando most certainly didn’t have to keep the conversation going. But he did. And Lando did. And it was all soft and warm and “I want to know the most mundane details about this exact thing that I’ve done for 6 years already but did you have fun Oscar?? Did you? Have fun? Osc? Nice smoothie osc. Gonna copy your cute lil pose osc”.
Everything I’ve learned about Lando in the last few weeks is that he just wants friends? He keeps talking about how he missed out on the uni experience and how his friends are all through racing. And it explains why he’s kept Max on at Quadrant and all that side of it. (Not saying he’s buying Max’s friendship or anything) And he kept being friends with his teammates thinking they were safe but Carlos left and Daniel was fired. Which is the nature of the sport don’t get me wrong that’s fine. But I think Lando is really comfortable because Oscar is here to stay for a while. So Lando has Oscar.
And Oscar has always been better than the rest at this sport so it was hard to make friends with the other boys because he kept moving a step forward, quicker than everyone else. His Prema vids are sweet but there’s a sense that everyone in them is still trying to make it. Plus Oscar has 3 younger sisters but he’s never had a brother and he’s a little quiet and Lando was okay bulldozing his way into Oscar’s heart so now Oscar has Lando.
They both love their families but the sport makes it so they feel distant from them? Yes Adam is at almost every race and Oscar has a very loving relationship with his mom but all they’ve known is this sport forever. This sport where there’s no loyalty and no love and a lot friendships are actually just colleagues hanging out in a work setting.
That’s what makes Carlando so endearing. It’s that the friendship persisted beyond the contract mandated hangouts. That’s what makes Landoscar so special. They’ve found each other, a support system, a person who actually understands every nuance of the car, every corner that they race, every debrief in a way that really only their teammate can.
They are each other’s competition but they’re also each other’s comfort and I think that’s really special. Plus, Oscar’s quite tall isn’t he 😏
#lando norris#landoscar#formula 1#f1#none of this makes sense#but it also makes perfect sense#I can’t explain it#I won’t try#but please tell me you get it#oscar piastri#I have similar feelings about lestappen btw#and this whole new generation of drivers in general#the padel dates and stuff#like it all adds up to the realization#that no matter what you do#it’s about friends#and stfu I know it’s a big business blah blah blah#but they’re JUST KIDS#THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN KIDS#and the kids will be alright#because they have each other#(a lot of them are older than I am oops)#but the point stands#it’s the quote#isn’t about old friends? like everything
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breaking my silence on chess the musical to say that i would literally not give a fuck about this show if i thought it was good or fully successful at what it is saying. SORRY! i love how messy she is. i love how since 1984 and continuing to this very day people with entirely different perceptions of and opinions on the musical have attempted in their own ways to "make it good" by creating all these different versions with like notably different plots, characterization, and song order, and i love how fucking bad the vast majority of these are despite it all. i hope people keep trying to fix chess the musical forever and until the end of time. i hope no one ever figures it out. i want every currently living theatre director in existence to make their own version and for all these versions to come out on broadway at the same time, making that year's musical season entirely comprised of various different versions of the cold war chess musical by tim rice and half of abba. i want not only our greatest minds but also our middlest-of-the-road and worst minds to come up with their own conclusions as to why chess does not entirely work in its original form or any subsequent forms like to really think about it and yes i do want someone to dedicate their entire life to perfecting chess by releasing version after version after version until they die peacefully but still, as always, in the grips of obsession. i want marriages to be broken up. i want mental states to be shattered. i dream of this world
#it speaks!#ive said this on another platform but i dont like using that platform none of my friends are there. so you all get the expanded version.#pearl's chess rant: deluxe edition. and im not even finished.#i want at least one intrepid director to do what ppl do with shakespeare and set it in a completely different era ->#<- & change the central political conflict but not enough so its still like. well now this is about medieval feudalism why is it also ->#<- still about a chess proxy war ... that just makes no sense. it just doesnt make sense ........#'breaking my silence on chess the musical' sam knows i think about it still. but for the purposes of public appearance. you understand.#chessposting#chess the musical#<- real ones know i rarely maintag but i want all seven active chess fans to see this bc i need their insights
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was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.
and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.
because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"
and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.
and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.
and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.
so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.
and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?
and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol#yamamoto takeshi#sawada tsunayoshi#i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense#also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition#it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most#which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027#and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying#like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100%#he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way#also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/#they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference#and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark#because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive#and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know?#so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong#but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3#anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence#even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it#it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point#and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3
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