#i know most of these foods dont exist in the game but the current ones were really limiting

[alinktoana]

local elderly girl sells stickers at a japanese food festival

not gonna lie, the entire experience is very emotional to me and it's been a month but moon channel's vid essay about cool japan, and the release of smt5 vengeance (lol) inspired me

tldr: i made some stickers, got real existential about it, will keep making more c: if youd like to check them out, here's a link

ive always wanted to draw, i used to say i was gonna become a painter or a fashion designer when i grew up. none of that happened, but i did go to film school. my final project was a script for an animated short highly inspired by nbc hannibal, majora's mask (i know, it was 2016, it makes sense to me lol) and a huge loss in my life from which i havent fully recovered, 10 years later.

the point is, ive always been art adjacent but i never really drew, until i got inspired by_hannibal itself_, noel fielding, kylux (LOL) and a roommate who was who was really inspired by art youtubers like frannerd and drew around the house, so i picked up a pencil and started drawing hannigram fanart bc i was so insanely in love with that show lol i remember who i was before i drew. i spent my days reading and watching tv, bc i love stories and stuff, but i was a consumer. and once i got a job after college i felt so incredibly isolated and directionless. do i have a direction now, as i work as a """"designer""" for a company that sells a mental health app? no. but like demifiend was force fed a magatama and got demon powers (LMAO BEAR WITH ME I JUST BOUGHT SMT3 HD REMASTER), i caught the art demon (like steven zapata says). and i caught it bad. i spend my day to day rushing through my work and chores and everything so i can have enough time to draw in the evening, to do whatever, and sometimes the need is so immense i cant do anything bc im not good enough, my skills are fading, im worthless, what's the meaning of all this? so i took a chance and showed my work at an arts alley on a japanese food festival i was helping organize. mind you, i was juggling that with my 9/5, promoting the event, finishing drawings from years ago. and when i got there, nobody got it. people looked at the stickers and didnt recognize the characters, and went on to buy the stickers my friends had that were more current. it was all japanese fanart. we were there with the single purpose of baiting weebs like us lol

ive always dealt with clients, im used to this. but im used to business to business, bc sigh i am a corporate girly. and im a beginner in the demon arts of arting. i felt so ashamed people were preferring other people, that i had the audacity to think i was worth anything. but i stood there, standing still with my brain boucing off my skull wanting to leave but also enjoying the experience and hoping someone, anyone would get it. and some people did. to my surprise, jack frost was my best selling sticker, lol. jack frost, from the smt franchise, a franchise im so new to but i love so dearly. im 100% a poser, ive never finished a megaten game. but… it just speaks to me. and thats where my cool japan feelings come from bc, like i said, i was selling at a japanese food festival. people my age, from the country i come from, were exposed to dragon ball and cardcaptor sakura from birth. and learning about history and the atrocities of the japanese empire is just. who can you trust. but ive aways resonated with one thing from japan, and it's the way they portray sadness in their works. it's become a ritual since last year that i will listen to smtv's ost when im on my period bc it literally brings me back to life. no one but i know how many times ive drawn goro majima and taiga saejima bc their mere existance and their sorrow resonates with me so immensily and i dont wanna see them being sad, nor do i wanna see me being sad. it's. it's really difficult to be to admit that im from brazil, bc our country sells happiness as an export but for many, many years the most popular genre is butthurt country music, and it makes sense, you know? people dont wanna admit they're sad. and i can only imagine what it's like for regular japanese people, bc we (i) get to see their big exports of bittersweetness… i dont know, maybe other people get to see that from brazil too, i dont know. the arts in brazil, or specially where i live, it's just isnt in the cards for us. but ill keep trying, you know. and i know fanart is a hack. but im trying. despite everything and everyone wanting us (me) to work for mining/metal/oil companies, make the most money, have the least health, drink all the alcohol (but call an uber), consume, reproduce and die, i. i just wanna draw tiny people, you know. it's. not that big a deal. all this to say that yes im gonna keep drawing and making stickers and, who knows, you know. these are stickers that i wont ever find near me, or that im too broke to get them from artists/official stores, so if youre like me, here's some pdfs in case you wanna print them and stick them wherever c: ty if you got this far, this is a big ramble… but it's been years in the making and despite everything im happy about it c:

[everybody-loves-purdy]

hello! :) i dont think ive ever sent an ask to this account before but reading your posts is so awesome!

i havent read warriors in a hot minute, i kind of lost interest after avos, so i dont really know whats happening currently in the series, but i was just curious maybe about what your favorite book was before the broken code? (just because i don't know anything past that haha) and any thoughts on it! i hope this makes sense! thank you :)

Hiya! Thanks very much I’m honoured!

It’s hard to say honestly! But I think if I were to choose just one, probably currently Shattered Sky (book 3 of avos) and that stands for broken code and beyond too!

One bias I may have here is that Darktail is my second favourite warrior cat, and one of my favourite characters of all time period, and Needletail is probably my third favourite warrior cat, but honestly this book is a key reason why for both characters.

It’s just the perfect way to end an arc… in book 3. But man it just has everything.

SkyClan returns

The mystery of what happened to Dawnpelt not being spoon fed to the audience, in the end it’s a non POV character (Needletail) who makes the connection of what exactly happened to her in one of the most underrated scenes in all of warriors.

Needletail having the perfect way to end her selfish to selfless character arc through both her iconic sacrifice and for things she does throughout the book as well such as give up food for fellow prisoners

Darktail, just Darktail. He just somehow kicks it up a notch this book he is just absolutely despicable. Using kittypets and elders as frontline soldiers in battle in order to deter the enemy from attacking too fiercely. Promising to take cats who want to leave the kin to the border himself and murdering them instead (which is done so effectively in the eyes of a naive young protagonist who doesn’t realise what’s going on), the murder of Rain, enforced starvation of prisoners, the little game he plays to traumatise Violetpaw and Needletail at the lake which ultimately ends in Needletail’s sacrifice. And his iconic confrontation with his father. And those are just the highlights of this book, I love this character so much.

And then we don’t just have one battle in this book, we have three, but the last battle is truly one of the most underrated in warriors. All of the clans using their unique skills to defeat the kin, with RiverClan rising out of the lake is just, amazing, it’s just amazing. I love you shattered sky, it’s unfair how people just lump avos as the worst arc when such a strong beginning and such a phenomenal middle book as this exist.

Also sidenote somehow, the book still has time to give Purdy a heart attack and have him die lol. And it doesn’t feel out of place. Everything just works.

[definitelynotshouting]

OK! ANON HERE WITH THE FIRST ROUND OF ANALYSIS/SCREAMING INTO THE VOID. (I have more quotes but i dont want to overwhelm you and do them all at once)

-☀️

"This fantasy carries him through the rest of the night, past false dawn and into the early onset of staccato birdsong. Grian stares blearily at the bleeding warmth creeping in through the window; gentle golden hands that march over the floorboards and press their palms against the walls. They're less frenetic than the moonlight had been— the shadows here are dappled, innocent things, splaying over stripped bark and playing in the whorls within planks. They breathe depth into this tiny, wooden box, shifting slowly under daylight's cautious curve into the sky, until scintillating rays curl like shackles around his wrists."

- the word choice in this is just so masterful. It's so TENSE, Grian's emotions and thoughts are a complete mess, and this is mirrored even in how you describe the environment. It feels like nothing is safe, which is brilliant, because Grian's currently driving through life on a cord as thin as silk. Its the way even the birdsong is frantic and unsafe "staccato". The "gentle" hands that harden to "march" and "press". Things start out kindly, and then the words become harsh and cold, and this just perfectly reflects how mistrustful Grian is. Nothing makes sense to him; everything is out to get him.

-☀️

"Grian snorts without meaning to, then claps a hand over his mouth, something ugly coagulating in his heart. He doesn't deserve this kind of laughter, this reluctant amusement simmering in his chest. It burns him from the inside out, scorching the back of his throat; hot coals between clenched teeth. Grian inhales embers, exhales ash, and summons every spare ounce of willpower at his disposal to keep his voice from shaking."

- Oh, this. This hurts so much. I can talk about how bird boy's mental state is so poor he's even depraving himself of laughter, and how this is an extension of how he started out starving himself of food, then sleep, now laughter. The fire imagery here is so potent as well. He's burning himself from the inside out, which i feel like is such good imagery for what is actually happening: his code breaking apart. Mans IS literally coming apart from the inside. Ough

-☀️

"It's a pretty effect; it makes Grian's gut plummet all the way down to his lap."

- CRYING CRYING CRYING

- They know each other so well. Grian and Scar learnt each other's tells under the desert sun. He understands how tension and anger and sadness plays on Scar's face and body language when theyre in the games, and in those games everyone's emotions are caused by grian. But now theyre not even in the games and all grian can see is how HIS existence is hurting the people he loves most

-☀️

That's all im going to do for now. Thank you for tearing out my heart and smashing it on the pavement <3

(Also idk if you want me to leave an anon identifier? Maybe i can just stick with the ☀️ if no one else has taken it?)

HEY ANON. WHAT IF I CRIED AND SOBBED AND WEPT!!!!!! HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO !!!!!!!! /POS /POS /POS!!!!!!! LOSING MY MIND RN IM GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR SO EXCITEDLY THIS JUST MADE MY ENTIRE DAY

hooooly shit i cannot thank you enough this is so kind and wonderful and just!!!!!! listen i LIVE for people analyzing my writing bc i try to put SO MUCH into it, as much as i can possibly cram without oversaturating, and to see people pick up on this stuff is like being handed an immaculately wrapped present every single time. This is truly making my mind go crazy im so fucking happy rn oh my gods, thank you so much this is such an incredible treat

Im not sure if the sun emoji has been taken or not (i think i had another one a long time ago???? but im not sure if you're the same one or not djehdjdjr) but!!! Absolutely feel free to leave an emoji identifier, whatever you want!! :D i rlly enjoy seeing regulars in the inbox so absolutely feel free to do that if ur comfortable!!!!!

[theoneandonlyneonleon]

I am not patient so ima answer these now

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?: my turtle wall <333

2. how tall do you wish you were?: much taller 😔

3. what color is your hair?: im a natural redhead :D

4. whats a rare fear that you have?: nit rlly rare i dont think, but I am TERRIFIED of deep water- like to the point of crying

5. are you single?: naur✨

6. has your heart ever been broken?: not really?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?: 2012 and Money Island SE

8. favorite coping mechanism?: Loud music and a weighted blanket 👌

9. whats your favorite love language?: defo physical touch. I am a veryyyy clingy person oncw I get comfy

10. how often do you get nervous?: really only before auditions (and ordering food)

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?: uh- cha. Who wouldn't??

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?: asl fs. I like being non verbal, so it would be helpful

13. where do you wish to live?: I wish I lived with my aunt and uncle in Everett

14. what’s something surprising about you?: I do cheer

15. when did you last shower?: last week I think? (I am ass at taking care of myself 💀💀)

16. when did you first join tumblr?: A couple months ago (I think)

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?: yerp. Probably my arms. Something meaningful. Idk it just sounds cool.

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?: A reoccurring dream I keep having is where my mom lets me go to school for one day to try it out, but something always goes wrong (I lose my schedule, miss my classes, etc.)

19. whats your dream job?: Actor/Voice Actor

20. whats your ideal date?: just doing something easy and fun, like going to the aquarium!

21. what do you wish you could do better?: take care of myself

22. what country would you live in if you could?: idk Canada? I mean they get free healthcare-

23. whos the best person you know?: my brother Asher

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?: I didn't, but my mom once walked in on my neighbor teaching me the wap when I was like 9

25. Already answered!!

26. when have you been most embarrassed?: I accidentally blew snot in the boy I liked in 3rd grade✨✨

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?: so far, Carrie

28. what are you best at?: Acting

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?: yuh

30. do you have siblings?: three- almost four- little s shits

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?: if i make it to adulthood

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?: dishonesty

33. whats your favorite current class?: ELA

34. how many people have you dated?: 4

35. how often do you wash your hair?: every time I shower

36. do you daydream? what about?: living w my aunt and uncle

37. where do you go to be alone?: my room. people kinda forget I exist lol

38. which parent do you like more?: my dad. They both suck, but he's at least a little better

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?: not being hateful

40. whos voice do you enjoy?: BEN SCHWARTZ!!!!

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?: bingus

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?: actually learn an instrument (I am learning drums tho!)

43. what do you wish you never did?: came out to my friends in the gc where my ma could see

44. do you believe in life after death?: sort of? Im pretty open to whatever, but I do like the idea of reincarnation

45. do you prefer book over movie?: the book is definitely 100% better than the movie

46. whats your favorite season?: Autumn

47. Answered!!

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?: yup! Pussyslayer the turtle <333

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?: 3rd grade when I drove a friend away by being to crazy

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?: nothing really, I thoroughly make sure the purchase is worthwhile before proceeding

51. do you have your own room?: sadly, no

52. whats your favorite book?: white rabbit

53. who’s someone you hate?: Colleen Hoover

54. whats your best hottake?: ???

55. whats your favorite game?: I don't really play video games, but I'd say either Minecraft, Unpacking, or Sims 4

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?: when I went to twin falls in Hawaii, and my dad swam me across the third one, under the waterfall. I cried.

57. are you a morning person?: aaaaabsolutely not

58. do you drink enough water?: definitely not.... Im very dehydrated

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?: Ion know dawg- i cant even remember most my childhood 😭😭

60. do you enjoy tumblr?: yeah! I just wish people would rebLOG INSTEAD OF LIKING.

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?: No(t yet)

62. whats your least favorite game?: fortnite

63. were you a markiplier fan?: still am motherfucker

64. how do you respond to compliments?: If its in person, I usually just say thanks and give a compliment in return. If its online, I usually squeal and giggle and stimm big before calmly replying 'ik✨✨' or 'ty!!'

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?: literally no idea

66. do you believe in marriage?: im kinda 50/50 here- on one hand I would love to have a wedding and get to wear a pretty dress. On the other, I don't believe in marriage as an idea- I feel like you shouldnt have to be legally bound to prive your love. But you do you boo <33

67. do you have a crush on someone?: other than Donnie? Nah.

68. do you like tumblr?: I do! So far everyone is really nice (but please for the love of Aphrodite REBLOGGGG)

69. were you a voltron stan?: naur

70. whats your favorite ship?: Leosagi

71. whats your favorite song?: atm im between Two Time by Jack Stauber and the entire Lucid Dreams album by Boywithuke

72. do you like loud crowds?: I would honestly rather be skinned alive

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?: nah

74. how do you sleep?: very little

75. do you bite your lips?: only when they itchy

76. do you use chapstick?: frequently. I have eczema so my lips are constantly dry

77. do you have any pets?: two dogs and three cats!

78. what color are your eyes?: blue-gray

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?: nothing, im perfect already✨✨

80. have you ever had surgery?: nerp

81. whats your least favorite animal?: mosquito

82. whats something that youre really bad at?: math (I had to use my fingers to count 7-3 the other day, then I had to pause and rethink my entire life)

83. do you have an sqishmellows?: just one, the lil panda

84. do you enjoy fast food?: meh. I prefer eating at home

85. do you like soda?: yup!

86. Answered!!

87. do you wear any jewelry?: mhm! I have a bunch if cute earrings, and I love wearing bracelets

88. what socials do you use?: just Insta and tumblr

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?: social studies at 73.24%

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?: all night

91. did you ever have bangs?: Nerp

92. what trends did you hate?: thigh high uggs because for some reason those were a thing

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?: the dress I wore today, so affectionately called the 'coffin dress'

94. Answered!!

95. whats your opinion on body hair?: if you want to shave, go ahead. If you dont, thats okay too! I don't like telling people what to do with their bodies. Personally, I don't like shaving. I like me the way I am, body hair and all!

96. whats your least favorite time?: morning

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?: its basically mandatory in my house

98. Answered!!

99. have you ever been to church?: I don't go regularly, but have been a few times. Not a terrible experience, but not for me.

100. are you lgbtq?: queer as hell baby

[pseudolife-archived4]

𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑼𝑵

tagged by: i stole it from @nezemny

tagging: if you read this, you are legally required to do this xoxo

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? typically it's chris's fault because i follow him into rpcs like some kind of stalker. but with my current roster it's a mix from him, zirka, and rina. i like to write with friends, so if they start dabbling in an rpc or with original muses, i'll follow with characters either of my own creation, or ones from their new fandom.

is there anything you don’t like to write? i don't really care for zombie apoc situations, and there's a few fandoms i won't write in for my own reasons.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? everything? i really just like to write. i don't really have a 'set genre' that i enjoy the most, and a lot of it depends on my mood or the rpc i'm in.

how do you come up with headcanons? deep dives on (fandom) canon aspects, deep dives on real life aspects of a character's existence. a lot of times headcanons come to me when i'm watching unrelated things and my brain does this game of connections that i don't even understand. mostly though, it's by screaming at a friend about the character until something clicks in my brain and i go 'oh hey.'

do you write in silence or do you play music? a mixture of both? sometimes the music gets distracting so i turn it off. i'm really fond of listening to asmr videos on really quiet as of late though.

do you plan your replies or wing them? in this home, we wing it until we win it.

do you enjoy shipping? i am extremely selective about shipping. it doesn't mean i don't enjoy it, i do, i'm a slut for character development through interactions with other muses and romance/heartbreak/etc really can make or break a character arc... but i am super wary of shipping with people, especially new followers. so i enjoy it, but only with people i trust not to go into no-no zone with it.

what’s your alias/name?   anarchy. because. uh. anarchy... yeah.

age? 30+

birthday? june 21st.

favorite color? currently, i'm really into soft orange.

favorite song? hi hello, it is me, listening to please, please, please by sabrina carpenter on repeat. thanks.

last movie you watched? i just watched that 2006 poseidon movie because why not.

last show you watched? lol i also just finished 9-1-1 after binging it for like a week and a half or something.

last song you listened to? ...please, please, please.

favorite food? sushi. salmon anything. twice baked potatoes. fish tacos.

favorite season? i dont have one.

do you have a Tumblr best friend? yeah its like. every mutual i have because they put up with my shit. you know who you are. ( @pseudodead & @architaciturn are my husbands tho )

[gingerlywuzhere]

intro post for da goobs <33

name(s): lyn (spelt however)

prns: he/they :3

sexu: demi-aroace + bi (male pref), polyamorous

gender: trans man

age: 15 :> (birthday 5/6 if u wanna get me smth <3)

relationship status: 4 yrs w/ my 1st bf (he/they), a few months with my 2nd bf (he/him), and a few months with my qpp (ask/any)

language(s) (known): English, Spanish

language(s)(learning): German, Romanian, Icelandic, Irish

nationality: 🇺🇸 (but also secretly 🇩🇪 >:) )

if i dont know your prns, ill refer to u by ur user

you can refer to me however, as long as you acknowledge my existence, im fine w/ it

about me (random order) (:3 = ask me abt it!! /nf)

-audhd

-dyslexic

-paranoid schizophrenic

-Mahayana Buddhist convert :3

-rbs, likes, and tags will differ based of current hyperfixation

-band kid

-i play saxophone :D

-im demonkin and fallen angel-kin :3

-my fursona is a scene-core fruit bat w/ an emo vampire bat bf :3

-i swear too much in my everyday language lmao ('bestie that's trauma' IK)

-scemo-alternative style

-natural ginger

-eyes dont work right (nearsighted + astigmatism)

-trying to post and interact more with moots & audience

-jus a weird lil queer kid tryin to not die yet :D

things i like:

-fnaf

-creepypasta

-metal (nu, alternative, jazz, etc)

-ww/att

-class of 09

-sdv

-tsp/ud

-minecraft (not the movie dawg NOT THE MOVIE 😭)

-markiplier (he's mine don't touch him /silly)

-the blair witch project movies

-charlie slimecicle

-that handsome devil

-ICP

-system

-tadc

-tattoos

-piercings

-system of a down!!

-jschlatt

+ like a lot more things

my fave stuff :DD :

-fave fnaf character: michael afton <33

-fave animatronic: foxy <33

-fave cp: the grieving (tawog cp)

-fave cp character: EJ

-fave game: currently either mc, sdv, or tsp

-fave band: slipknot or mcr!!

-fave singer: Mitski

-fave song: Welcome to the Black Parade - MCR

-fave youtuber: markiplier or funkyfrogbait

-fave streamer: charlie slimecicle

-fave actor: matthew lillard (hes so cutie :3)

-fave show: tawog

-fave movie: The Blair Witch Project or Silence of the Lambs

-fave hobby: marching band :3

-fave food: pizza bites :3

boundaries + things that'll get you blocked 🤗

-18+ content, ie; asking me sexual things (bro u drake or smth 🤨), blocked

-calling me by my irl name, dead or preffered, blocked, bc that's just.. creepy

-harassing people over things ive said, vice versa, blocked

-shipping me with my friends/people i interact with prominently or shipping me w/ people i dont know, blocked

-treating me like a child, blocked

-be nice to each other in notes

-if i vent on this blog, dont openly relate to what ive been/am currently going through, u can vent in my dms or asks

-proshippers/comshippers dni, or be blocked

-terfs/homophobes dni, or be blocked

-pro-israel/hamas dni (its NOT about religion), i will block you if you interact with me in anyway

-also just a reminder to support the palestinian people, not the palestinian government or israel, as they're both killing innocent civilians

-anti-furries dni (i am one 🤯), or be blocked

-anti-therians dni (ESPECIALLY if you're one of those 'i NEED a therian gf/bf bro' typa mf, bc therian gf/bf does not need you bro), or be blocked

-anti-otherkin dni (again, i am one 🤯), or be blocked

-anti-xenos dni, or be blocked

-anti-mspec lesbians/gays dni, or be blocked

-including anti- hesbians, and/or she/her achillean people

-trans fetish pages dni, or be blocked

-overall dni if you don't think you'd mind me as a person irl

-keep this blog a safe space for all/most ppl pls :) (or ur b-b-b-blocked pooks <3)

[the-flaming-nightmare]

I posted 12,002 times in 2022

That's 7,787 more posts than 2021!

26 posts created (0%)

11,976 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pinkdiapers

@reaperlight

@cher3pakha

@dykeboyking

@cielores

I tagged 1,077 of my posts in 2022

#delicious foods - 91 posts

#ns//fw - 91 posts

#plushies - 85 posts

#fanart - 48 posts

#delicious sweets - 45 posts

#eremin - 43 posts

#sam and dean - 30 posts

#9-1-1 - 30 posts

#sebaciel - 24 posts

#wincest - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#i usually dont like at all it but if its incorporated into a dessert well then im okay with it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

With the stress brought on by the Noah's Ark Circus case, and the added stress of illness, Ciel's mental state begins to fall apart at the seams; revealing a side of himself that neither he nor Sebastian never knew existed.

Reblogs are dearly appreciated 💛

9 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#4

It's Ciel's seventh birthday.

Reblogs are dearly appreciated 💚

9 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#3

If anyone is looking for an editor for your fanfiction or original stories, I'm available for hire. I charge $20 dollars an hour, and all transactions will go through Cash App. Whether you have trouble with English, or just want someone to do the annoying part of writing for you (trust me, I know the feeling lol), I'm here to help.

I do have one condition: I won't edit anything that has non-con in it. I don't mind a bit of dub-con, but for personal reasons, I don't do the hardcore shit. Other than that, I'm game for anything.

I'm currently trying to create a steady income so I can afford to pay rent on an apartment for me and my best friend. We're both in our own shitty living situations at the moment, and we're desperately trying to find ways to earn enough cash to financially support ourselves in a place of our own.

So please, if anyone sees this and needs help, or knows someone who does, send me a massage. If neither of these apply to you, then please give this post an reblog. I'll take as many reblogs as I can get lol.

16 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#2

Attention Prodigal Son fandom: I’m going to start writing an essay soon on what the show means to me and why I believe it deserves a second chance, and I would love to have some of y’all’s own thoughts and feelings to add to it.

If you’re interested, please email me by Friday at enbylad00@gmail.com . In one or two paragraphs, tell me why the show means so much to you. I probably won’t be able to put everyone’s in, but I promise I’ll put as many of you as I can. Also, at the end of the email, please add whichever social media @ that you’re comfortable with so I can credit you.

If y’all could also RT this post, that would be awesome. Thank you. <3

I don’t know if this essay will do anything at all, but I can still try. I haven’t given up hope that we’ll get this amazing show back. I refuse to give up.

23 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It fucking baffles me how there are antis in the Rick and Morty fandom. Why tf are you even here?? Have you even seen the show??? It's not exactly a wholesome fucking watch. Rick is the farthest thing from a good person, and Morty ain't exactly a sweet angel boy, either. Rick has quite literally destroyed civilizations (including his own), and both these mfs have killed a shit ton of people and aliens (some who did shit all to deserve it), but you're mad that people irl ship them?? Just shut the fuck up.

Nobody in this show is what's considered a good person. Nobody. They either have toxic traits, or are just straight up toxic af. But that's the fucking point. This show isn't meant to be Steven fucking Universe, ffs. It's an Adult Swim cartoon that's about an old alcoholic asshole of a scientist and his horny naive 14 year old grandson who go on or get sucked into dangerous adventures every episode. So if you're gonna be that pressed about people shipping them, or literally any other characters together, then maybe you should stop watching the show entirely, since everything that's said and done is SO far from being the "uwu I love my family and feel nothing but wholesome love for them" good morals that you fantasize every show and movie catering to.

🖕🏼

24 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[nervousmistycat]

tag game time!!

Disclaimer: I'm bad at saying stuff so the answers are gonna be a bit short and maybe weird? idk

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? uuuh yeah? kinda? my qpp is so awesome so yeah

02) What was your dream growing up? idk, at first I wanted to be a therapist and stuff, then a designer for many stuff, and now I'm just here

03) What talent do you wish you had? doing everything right the first time, cause I've quit so many hobbies for the sole reason I wasn't excellent first try lol

04) If someone bought you a drink what would it be? probably coffee? or a matcha drink. Actually, now that I think about it, my beloved once bought me my favorite drink from my fav place unprompted so yeah.

05) Favorite vegetable? uuuuh, first that comes to mind is broccoli

06) What was the last book you read? I was about to start a series but I already forgot the titles so that's fun

07) What zodiac sign are you? taurus I'm pretty sure

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? only the basic earring ones, I want more piercings, still not sure about which tattoos specifically but i do want some

09) Worst Habit? everything lol

10) What is your favorite sport? I don't play sports, but to watch it would be ice skating

11) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? honestly, kindof pessimistic but i would say its more of a realistic one

12) Tell me one weird fact about you. I'm pretty sure I have a shit ton of health problems but going to the doctor in general makes me have anxiety attacks so I won't go willingly LMAO

13) Do you have any pets? MY DUDE!!!!! he's just a little guy who has no thoughts (yorkie dog)

14) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? I think they are just there, but some of them have some amazing makeup skills (I could never)

15) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I just want to be a racoon or a cat.

16) What color eyes do you have? very dark brown

17) Ever been arrested? not yet.

18) Bottle or can soda? cans, so i can take the opener thing off the top and collect it.

19) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? just put it into savings cause I'm too indecisive to use it on anything instantly

20) What's your favorite place to hang out at? idk, probably in my egg chair so

21) Do you believe in ghosts? i belive they are just little guys

22) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? nap

23) Do you swear a lot? sometimes? its kinof weird because sometimes i'll be like a sailor but other times i forget those words exist

24) Biggest pet peeve? being a bigot

25) In one word, how would you describe yourself? myno

26) Do you believe/appreciate romance? i read a lot of fanfiction so

27) Favourite and least favourite food? lagasnga or however that's spelt and least is onions (the texture BLEGH)

28) Do you believe in God? i think it would be funny that every single one of them is in a shared space, so all religions are kindof right and wrong at the same time

29) What makes you happy: my friends

30) Currently listening/the last thing you listened to: heatwaves LMAO (I swear it's ironic)

31) Favorite place to spend time: idk, my phone?? dont really have a physical place

32) Favorite lyric: you know the one from the crane wives, curses

33) Recommend a film: uuuh, idk the truman show?

34) Recommend a book: THE LUNAR CHRONICLES

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: uuuh crywank is good

36) Recommend a TV show: genloss

37) Where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? im in the same place ive always been

38) Do you have any pets or animals in your life? How did you find/get them? ma dog, we adopted that guy from a friend of my father

39) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? idkk ants? dirt? sand?

40) How did you 'find' fandom? wellll, i was on amino

41) Make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. my bolillo purse, a creeper, a garfield plusie, a slinky and a ball

42) How do you style your hair? i just hope it looks good when i wake up

#tag games

[nex-os98]

🗡-Bored so im doing this ask game thing from here

🌫️- How many people are in your system

from what I(🗡) know about 18 at the moment.

🌊- What's everyone's favorite colors?

I like black, green and red, one little like pale green and another likes pink, i know 🌿 likes greens, blues and white/cream and for anyone else i think most of them like red

☂️- Most common fronters?

its hard to tell bevause its been changing so much and been pretty quiet recently but i think 💉,🚭 and 💥 seem to be the most active or atleast come around more frequently besides me since im the host

☔- Collective pronouns?

they/them just to keep it simple

💦- Everyone's pronouns?

fuck this is ginna be a nightmare to list

🗡(me) they/he/metal/grunt/it or no pronouns

🚭he/they

💉he/it

💥she/he/they/it/any (yes she likes all of them listed)

🌿it/he

⚓️he/they

⚫️no pronouns/neutral terms

and theres a few more i dont feel like listing since theyre inactive

💧- Most common age group?

ageless or atleast adult orientated

💨- Do you have any fictives?

most of us are fictives or introjects of some sort

❄️- Are there any romantic relationships in your system?

its complicated, a mix of yes and no.

🌧️- Does anyone have a favorite number?

not really. besides 🚭 and 💥 who likes the classic 69 and 420 for obvious reasons. 💥 also likes 666

☁️- Are any of your alters neurodivergent?

all of us are, but I hold alot of the autistic traits along with 💉, and 🚭 has a lot of out adhd and then 💥 is almost always triggered by our manic episodes and other shit

🌤️- How many people are LGBTQIA+

i dont thinkt heres a single non-queer guy in here

☀️- Do you have any non-human alters (including hybrids)?

none of us are human

🌈- What are some common hobbies?

art, animations, gaming. i know I have the most hobbies though.

🌪️- What is the most liked food between everyone?

meat and sweets i think

🔥- Current hyperfixations?

madness combat for the most part, but thats more of a special interest at this point.

☄️- Do you guys have any collective interests?

madness combat, old tech, 1.0/old web, minecraft, roblox, biology and science related shit, and other things i cant remember atm

⚡- What is your headspace like? (If you have one)

its really hard to access but so far its just a small building with a couple rooms

✨- Does anyone have a pet?

we have a pet named Sadie, I love her very much. dont know if this means a headspace pet or something but ive never heard of that before, migjt look into it.

⭐- Does your system have a name?

not really, just nexus operating system and just nexus for short. we usually just go by the bodies name or my name(🗡) deoending on if its someone irl or online. not many people know we are a system.

💫- Does anyone wanna share something about their source? Feel free to ramble, anyone can answer too!

most of us come from my source, i have several memories of that place the texture of the ground, all the times ive died, vauge memories of interactions, and generally just missing my body and my voice (even if i never spoke, or atleast when i did which was very rarely)

🪐- Most chaotic group?

not really group but i know 💥 and 🚭 are chaotic

🌎- Any demon/angel/god alters?

mainly ⚫️ is like an omnipitent being and 🌿 kind of is, and 🩸is aswell to some extent even if ive killed him before(source wise)

🌙- Who is the oldest?

for existence wise, 💥 is the oldest and longest lasting who hasnt gone dormant/inactive but i think more agewise i think ⚫️ is? not sure we dont really have agrs so its hard to really tell.

🌓- What type of system are you?

not sure, used to think we were osdd-1 but concidering new information and learning shit its more likely that we have DID

🌗- (For traumagenic systems only) Are you diagnosed? If yes, was getting one difficult? If not, do you want one & why or why not?

god no, we arnt diagnosed at all. we arnt out at all to anyone irl let alone anyone whos working eith our mental health. I dont think its wise for us to try and get diagnosed concidering how we are still grappling with it and how difficult it is tk get diagnosed. I dont want our right taken away and have to deal eith the lains of the mental health system anymore than we already do.

🌕- What is your system dynamic (ex, family, friends, complete strangers, etc)

weird mix of friends or semi-strangers. its hard for us to communicate but we're friendly to eachother (besides 2 assholes)

🌻- What's a normal day for you as a system?

trying our hardest to exist, dissociating a lot, taking our medications the best we can and lots of dissociation. latrly been going to therapy more often and sometimes experiencing seitches but latrly its been inactive and just me(🗡) fronting for the most part

🌸- How do you keep track of your system? (Members, switches, etc)

entirely with SimplyPlural, its easy for us to remember

🥀- Any childhood things that should've tipped you off to being a system?

not exavtly childhood but more teen / young teen, having tons of alt accounts and stumbling upon accounts we dont remember at all. changing usernames and personas and havung ocs that have "pocesssion" related things. the ocs werent negatively pocessed for the most psrt it was usually like guardians that eould sometimes take over the body if the oc to protect them.

💐- Do you like being a system?

mixed feelings, feels good to know whats "wrong with us" but still in heavy denial and struggling with the doubt and etc. onky discovered it a few months(??) ago

🐚- Do you know any systems IRL?

not at all, barely know anyone irl from moving so much recently hard for us (at least me) to make friends and socialize in the first place.

🍄- Do you prefer in-system dating or out-of-system dating?

im more on the aromantic/asexual side(most of us are) but more out if system since communication between us is so so difficult.

🍁- What's the most annoying thing about being a system?

the memory issues for sure, its a fucking pain needing to write down everything while also forgetting everything all of the fucking time and then being punished in some way for having a terrible memory whike si many people expect us to have a better memory.

🎍- How bad is your amnesia?

im not sure, still figuring out the amnesia part.

🌿- Best quote from an alter?

too many to list, most of them are from 🚭 and 💥

🌳- Do alters have separate accounts for games or do you all share an account?

some of us have different discord accounts and tumblr blogs but for video games its usually shared

[goremet-chef]

maybe ill tell my mom im hungry? im so. my entire LIFE i have always always hated asking for things like so much so that i stopped asking for things on my BIRTHDAY because im like. terrified of being seen as selfish? idk its funny cuz parents will like. god forbid i get a treat when im a kid, then all the grown ups in my life look down and call me spoiled as if they didnt give me the treat, and they still think children arent capable of complex thought so they didnt anticipate that id internalize it for the rest of my life but here we are 😁😁

so i just. god i hate asking for things it makes me feel so shitty but i think shes gonna go somewhere anyways? and EVENTUALLY hes going to run out of things to cook so maybe if i ask she'll bring home some food (vent/rant)

that is one thing that always bothers me tho ive got? idk my mom is. shes my mom i guess, currently she treats me very nicely but when her bf was gone for a few years all that anger was directed at me so yknow. i guess shes over it? or she tries to make up for it, but if im not given an apology, i wont forgive or forget even. it was mutual, lots of arguing on the basis of politics at time, but sometimes it was just fucking nothing, to the point where she'd even admit that i didnt deserve that treatment its just. SIGHHHHH im over it at this point im just trying to get out atp yknow? but like

my sibling asks for LOTS of things. and they get all of them. money for computer parts? sure. money for literally any thing? sure. new game? sure

im not bitter about it, as long as my mom can afford it i dont care. but like....... whenever I ask for things, its usually a no

because of my BPD, i take rejection really hard, its the worst pain in the world so i kinda just stopped asking for anything at all to avoid the feeling. then they always are like "ohh what do you want for yr birthday we cant just get you nothing" but i actually DID ask for something on my birthday. i asked for a copy of pokemon black for the ds. it was the only thing ive directly asked for in years, and i didnt get it which is super embarrassing. like whats the point of bothering me about what i want if you dont listen to me when i do? they always get me what they THINK i want and its this really outdated version of me that doesnt even exist anymore, its makes me dissociate knowing thats what they see me as when im just not that anymore. even when i tell them its null

IDK its jsut a whole thing, idk how to feel about it anymore. its to the point where like. my friends take me out sometimes but i mean. they know im broke, they know i have no job, they know i have no income. but im terrified the entire time that theyre gonna like. ask me to pay or something, and i always do my best to just do nothing when we go out cuz i really like. even when they offer to get me things it makes me feel so fucking shitty man i feel like im just leeching off of them even when they offered. even when they tell me they like getting me things it just. it feels so bad. and GOD its embarrassing, when we're walking around stores and all im doing is just following them around because i have like FIVE DOLLARS in my pocket at most. things like that make me want to never leave my house again, it just sucks.

im jealous of them if im honest, because they have jobs and i dont. but i dont think? i genuinely am unsure id ever be able to get a job. im not well adjusted like them, im constantly dissociating, constantly tired, my sibling yesterday, i made a comment about my mom leaving without telling me at all and he was like "well she said she was leaving on the weekend didnt she?" like yes, she did, but i genuinely have no idea what day it is at any given point. all i know is the number, i dont know the day of the week ever.

like im so. fucked, im fucked! totally, even if i managed to get me shit together, relearn the days of the week, set a good sleep schedule, im fucked anyways because i dont know how to be a person at all. an interview sounds fucking terrifying, ESPECIALLY if i dont know the questions theyre going to ask. i do really REALLY poorly with actual human conversation, like its painful. and pretty much everyone around me thinks im kinda creepy or weird in some way, so theyd DEFINITELY be able to tell. i have no resume, i dont even know what that IS. like im so fucked!! i wasnt able to pass highschool, i cant partake in a conversation if i dont somehow have both sides planned perfectly.

little unsure about my odds, gotta be honest

but at the same time like? i keep hearing people say "if you cant work then get disability insurance" am i disabled? everyone around me tells me im just not trying hard enough. they laugh at me when i say i just cant. even if it covers mental illness, i? i dont know. im constantly in denial of things because my family specifically my mom like. a long time ago she told me i just couldnt be autistic, because im "too smart"

?????? it showed me immediately that she has absolutely no fucking idea what shes talking about ever, i bet she couldnt list more than 2 symptoms of autism like genuinely. im not even smart also????? maybe id be a genius, if i could retain information after 5 minutes 💀💀 its complete bullshit man, im just. im at a loss

and then they have the audacity to mock me for not knowing how to be a person in the world, when THEY shouldve taught me. it was THEIR job to help guide me through it, and they didnt. they laugh and roll their eyes and scoff when i tell them oh i dont know how to use a stove, i dont know what food stamps are i dont know how to dress for a job interview ETC

they expect ill know, that i wouldve jsut picked it up over time but surprise! i didnt. i need instruction i need CLEAR instruction and no one will give it to me. its so frustrating man, they suck ass and they just make me feel WORSE about myself. like good fucking god, give me a break

idk im just. exhausted. im tired of just cramming my problems down because the people around me are incapable of seeing me as anything other than a child, and children dont have problems, right? i have no right to complain if my backs constantly hurting, if im too tired to feed myself properly, if i cant leave my house for 2 seconds without feeling the deepest dread. like be so serious bro

i cant wait to fucking move out, but.. how? my friends said its okay if i cant always make enough money from art to pay rent, but no. i dont believe them at all. theyre just being nice to me and i dont even deserve that, i fucking refuse i cant just. im always dead weight, its so frustrating. it frustrates the people around me, too. i feel like such a fucking burden man, its so tiring. if its not things i just dont know how to do, its fear. oh i cant help clean the garage because its crawling with spiders, i cant take out the trash because the trash bins are crawling with spiders. i cant walk down the stairs because i saw a spider on the ground. they fucking hate me man

i know what they see me as, but i have no idea how to convince them that its not me. they think im rude because i dont know how to properly communicate, i say things and its rude to them and i feel bad because i didnt intend to come off that way. everyone thinks im selfish, they think im overdramatic. exaggerating. if they could live in my head for one day, they wouldnt think that anymore

its so exhausting because you dont even get any sort of sympathy from them! just like. awkward pity, and it makes me wish i was never born. never oh im sorry yr feeling that way, do you wanna talk about it? never

they see me as such an obvious burden but they? i dont know! i genuinely cant understand, they think i just have no complex emotions? they think i cant hear it, cant see it? they think i dont feel like a burden when they tell me i am. its so stupid

i cant stand being around anyone, and it just pushes me FURTHER into dissociation. ive got an interesting thing with that. see, typically when yr dissociate with a dissociative disorder like OSDD or DID, that hazy period in time opens up for another alter to front, you dissociate away and get tucked inside yr head. except i get maladaptive daydreams. so im fully dissociated in another world basically but im still physically present. its like i just always take up space thats never meant for me, in every conceivable way. i hate it.

i know, when i finish typing this, ill feel a lot better. which is just embarrassing, bpd fucking sucks. having no emotional permanence is EMBARRASSING when im over here crying on my knees about my problems and then the second i get it out i feel completely fine. it just makes me invalidate my very real emotions even further and its so.

im just. whatever.

just spit it out and stop looking that way

[verymuchimmortalcat]

Maribat March Day 9: Teen Titans and Day 10: Creatures and Cryptids

ao3

@maribatmarch-2k21 

Marinette and the others were at the tower celebrating Tim's return. They had been overjoyed to hear of his return and by the time they had left for their rooms it had been fairly late. She was checking her phone when Adrien messaged her. Her sleep addled brain was confused for a moment until she remembered that London was eight hours ahead of San Francisco and Adrien had probably just woken up.

Kitty: Marinette!!!!

Kitty: I googled the meaning of cryptid and look what I found!!!!

Kitty: cryptid/ˈkrɪptɪd/Noun

1.an animal whose existence or survival is disputed or unsubstantiated, such as the yeti.

Kitty: That would make the Kwamis cryptids, there existence isn’t really substantiated.

She stared at the phone; it was too late to deal with this but she responded anyway.

Bug: I’m pretty sure they’re just normal creatures Adrien

Bug: I’d tell you to go to bed but its morning there so…

Bug: however im sleeping now. Good night.

Sighing she fell asleep, she’d ask Tikki about it tomorrow.

.oOo.

Marinette returned from Breakfast with cookies for Tikki and cheese (that’s not camembert) for Plagg and some food for if any of the others decided to come out. The two of them spent the most time out of the miraculous box, Tikki obviously staying with Marinette and Plagg joining them nearly every other day. The Kwamis preferred to stay in her room, some of them had wanted to explore the tower, but she had told them not to, she didn’t want to scare her team mates. Though, she doubted Raven would get scared.

Handing the food to the Kwamis, she lets Trixx out and waits for a bit before asking them about Adrien’s findings. Tikki hummed thoughtfully while Plagg remained absorbed in his cheese. “Well, technically I guess both could apply. While there are ancient scriptures and such that show our existence none of them provide concrete evidence. The only people who are usually aware are the Guardians and the users. In current times that would just be you and Adrien, given that Master Fu removed Gabriel and Nathalie’s memories on the functioning of the Miraculous before he lost his when he passed over guardianship.”

“What Sugar cube’s trying to say is technically to everyone other than you and the kid, we are cryptids.”

Trixx who had been silent up till this point, piped up, “ooooh, your team mates don’t know about us. Can we please go around pranking them? Spreading some necessary chaos? Pleaaaase?”

Plagg had gotten a look in his eyes that spelled mischief. Tikki just sighed. Marinette was torn. On one hand she knew it wasn’t exactly right but on the other hand Plagg and Trixx might just carry out some convoluted plan without her permission. It would make more sense to know what exactly they were doing, also it would definitely be fun to watch them freak out hr team mates. Grinning at Plagg and Trixx, Marinette agrees. Tikki just sighs and shakes her head, Marinette thinks Wayzz would probably have the same reaction, but she can’t bring herself to care. They’re going to wreak havoc on the rest of the team.

.oOo.

They went with Victor first. His one mechanical eye meaning that he would only be able to see the Kwamis through one eye and he would probably just brush it off and wouldn’t alert the others. Marinette and the Kwamis hid while Kaalki talked his ear off. Making sure to stay out of sight other than a few glimpses. Leaving him confused at why he couldn’t see anything. Eventually they heard foot steps and hurried out, Kaalki calling out a bye.

.oOo.

Gar was next. The other Kwamis had managed to talk Wayzz into taking part in their elaborate prank. So, when Gar was eating alone, Wayzz went in and started commenting on the most random things. Garfield had responded completely casually the first time and then had turned to look at Wayzz and freaked out. He ran out of the room calling for Raven and screaming about spirits and that she had to make sure they weren’t being haunted or anything of that sort. Marinette and the Kwamis just snickered as the others in the tower started yelling at Gar.

.oOo.

They had unanimously agreed that they were not going to try anything on Raven.

.oOo.

Kon and Bart had been the next on the list. They were easy enough, they spent enough time around each other that it wasn’t hard to catch them together. They were playing video games when Xuppu and Nooroo, the both of them having been extremely eager to join, showed up next to Bart and Kon and started making a mess and calling out insults every time they made a mistake and floating out of sight when they turned to look. Eventually the two of them got worked up enough for Kon to use his X-ray vision. The two of them had phased through the floor and returned to her room not wanting to test whether or not they would show up on his x-ray vision.

Unsurprisingly the news got to Tim, which she knew would get him worked up and more paranoid then usual but she was going to have to tell them about the Kwamis soon enough. She’d put a stop to it if it was affecting his physical health.

Bart had decided that Gar had been right about the haunted spirits and had gotten Raven to check the whole tower. Raven had done so, and in front of the whole team had declared there was nothing to worry about, there were no spirits the only magical prescence in the tower was positive and whatever had happened was probably harmless. She had then proceeded to tell them it would probably end soon while giving Marinette a pointed look, to which she just guiltily smiled back. Raven the sighed and returned to her room.

.oOo.

None of them had actually seen the Kwamis, Marinette realised when the Kwamis went to Cassie. While she knew the others thought something was going on, she wasn’t too worried about it. This unfortunately had its disadvantages. Sass had gone to Cassie and had gravely started, “Cassandra Sandsmark-“

“Tell Ares he can go fuck himself,” she snapped and then walked out of her room to the training room leaving the Kwamis and Marinette in confusion.

Mentally noting to check up on Cassie later, they decided to move in onto their next victim.

Robin.

.oOo.

They couldn’t get to Tim. They had been called for a fight and Marinette had to transform. In the end she had to use more than one Miraculous, revealing to the others that it had just been her and the Kwamis messing with them the whole time.

“I thought the tower was haunted,” Gar complained.

“I was there,” Marinette repeated, “It was incredibly funny.”

He just groaned in response. They had returned to the tower not long back and had not moved away from their current topic since then. Bart had calmed down in about five minutes of nonstop talking and Sass had decided he was going to explain things to Bart himself. Victor had just frowned in exasperation and walked out. Raven having already known had left for her room as soon as they returned to the tower. Kon was laughing at Gar’s misery and Tim had started talking to Wayzz about the Kwamis and such. Marinette had pulled Cassie aside and told her that she was there when Cassie spoke to the Kwamis and that she was there if Cassie wanted to talk. Cassie had given her a nod told her that she’d think about it and had left.

She was explaining everything to Gar now, she had finally gotten around to when Xuppu and Nooroo had gone to Bart and Kon. Kon had stopped laughing at Gar immediately at that point. When she mentioned what happened with Raven, Gar shrieked, “she knew?” At which everyone still in the room burst out laughing.

Hawkmoth's defeat in this was before Miracle Queen. Master Fu then modifies Gabriel and Nathalie's memories and hands over guardianship to Marinette and loses his memories and then joins Marianne. The temporary holders dont get the miraculous.

[mikumeeko]

i dont really have any followers but i wanted to talk about my experience as a system with osdd-1(whether a or b is blurry bc we dont have the support to get diagnosed currently but we are working on it).

TW: talk of dissociation and minor talk of SH

most of our alters are very non-distinct from each other. most identify with the body and our chosen name, so knowing who is fronting can be very difficult. is it the mikey who exists to do school work or is it the mikey who has the super intense sensory needs? the personalities of these alters are also very similar with only a few changes between them. because of the similarities between these alters we often only recognize a switch because of the dissociation that happens during our average switches.

but there are a few alters who are distinct. these alters are our main protector and our main persecutor. it is normally easy to tell if one of these two are fronting because of the change in behavior and overall personality. dave(protector+trauma holder) is decently social. he will often seek out our friends if he thinks we need help and enjoys playing games and chatting with them. our persecutor( who i will call T because i am not sure if he wants his name to be online) is the opposite. if he is fronting he is actively avoiding any and all conversations. he has a lot of gender dysphoria and he hates people perceiving him when he is fronting. he is also non-human, which means he has other issues with the body as well. T is an alter who existed before he took on the name T and the memories of his source(he is a fictive). he used to identify with our chosen name, but he has never identified with the body in anyway. he uses his hatred of the body as a way to justify s3lf h4rm. he committed acts of SH before and after he took on the identity of T, and the memories of those times belong to him.

you might be wondering, how are you so aware of the memories of your alters? thats where the osdd 1b comes in. there is no amnesia between alters and switches. all of our memories exist as a 'collective consciousness'(i saw another system describe it that way and i agree). when an alter switches in the memories of the last alter that was out are very blurry and dont always make sense, but if they reach out the the collective memory bank they can easily access them. accessing the memories of other alters is weird. because i remember what they were thinking and what they were doing but im remembering it from someone else's point of view.

before we realized that we were a system this was super confusing. "why do i remember hating that food? its my favorite!" or "i dont know why i did those things, i dont relate to the thought process i had before doing that at all". even though we are more aware of what memories belongs to who now, memories can still get confusing between all the alters that identify as mikey.

im done with my explanations for now. we might come back and talk more about our experience later. im sure dave will want to explain his role in the system at some point. if we can convince T to do it he might, he has been a lot calmer since he split into himself. the others probably wont, since they dont really view their experiences as separate enough from each other to warrant explaining their purpose online.

-Mikey(host)

[carpisuns]

30 questions about me

thx for the tag @anna-scribbles 💜

name: maryssa (u can call me that or mar, either is fine)

gender: cis female

star sign: capricorn

height: 5′8

time: 1 PMish

birthday: Jan 6 (i just turned 26...rip lol)

fav band/group: hmm uhh the beatles and maybe sylvan esso 

fav solo artists: sleeping at last, banners, yoke lore, borns, taylor swift (this is recent...i really vibe w her two newest albums lol. shoutout to @sha-nwa​ and @anna-scribbles​ for getting me back on the taylor train after like a decade wow lol)

song stuck in my head: ME WANT BITE. ME WANT PLANT CORN DOG DELIGHT

last movie: the duff

last show: the mindy project

when i created this blog: i think it was september 2019?

what do i post: uhhh a bunch of clownery i guess lol. i do art and fic and meta sometimes but mostly i just have a very strong reblog game

last thing i googled: me want bite. to get the link haha

other blogs: @carpisuns is my art blog, @drinkcactusjuice is my atla blog, and technically @totographszine is another one of my blogs bc i’m a mod of the zine

do i get asks: sometimes but i am not always the best about answering,,,sorry 😅 if you have ever sent an art request i probably intended to try it out and then forgot lol

why this url: it’s just an uglier clunkier version of marichat alsdkjf

following: 806

followers: 4040

average amount of sleep: ha. idk maybe 5 hours. i’m a huge night owl and i’m also filled with Regret 😭

lucky number: dont have one but i like numbers that end in 5 or 0

instruments: i used to play be decent-ish at piano in high school but then my teacher moved away and i havent had access to a piano in like 8 years BUT i got a keyboard recently and i just bought some music books online 😤

what im wearing: tshirt and leggings. chill vibes only

dream job: im the copyeditor of a kids’ magazine for my church and that’s pretty much my dream job!

dream trip: sry im such a basic binch i just rly like walt disney world and i want to ride the haunted mansion 1000 times :/ but also europe sounds cool maybe like the UK and italy and spain

fav food: caprisun

nationality: american

fav songs: this changes a lot lol but currently electric love by borns, no one knows us by banners, and like most of the songs from tswift’s newest albums lol. happiness and gold rush are probably my top two.

last book: does fanfic count LKDJFSJKLDFD

top 3 fictional universes i’d love to live in: 1. star trek cause it’s the same except money doesn’t exist and everyone has a replicator u can make whatever you want with and also holodecks exist 2. harry potter i guess? cause magic is dope but also i’d probably just be a muggle so it would be the same lol or if i were a witch i’d be mad that ppl were still using quills for no reason 3. i cant think of anything else cause either there are no toilets or there is a fascist dictator in charge or both

tagging: @botherkupo, @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights​, @bugaboo-n-bananoir, @emsylcatac​, @landturtlealyce, @jarl-deathwolf​, @leviaana​ (if u want) and anyone else who feels like it :)

[softnriot]

WEIRD ASKS: ODD NUMBERS. GO

MEG WHY

im also including this one bc its basically the same

i took out the ones i already did but you can find them in my ‘ask game’ tag 

7. earbuds or headphones?

earbuds, headphones hurt my ears

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

does water count?

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring/carabiner 

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

perfume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if youre going to read it look up content warnings beforehand)

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots

21. obsession from childhood?

i was obsessed w torture methods and specifically bamboo torture i thought it was so cool

23. strange habits?

all of em. i have to eat lots of foods like sandwiches by eating around the outside edge first then the inside part

25. first song you remember hearing?

idk but something by linkin park they were always playing in my house

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

exist ^_^ i love cold weather

29. best way to bond with you?

be interested when i talk about my interests and reach out to me to talk as i am a little baby and dont know how to start conversations. also let me send u stupid posts and reply to said posts lol 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

black mock neck, red dress shirt (unbuttoned top few buttons), ripped jeans and my black trench coat

or black button up, argyle sweater vest, overalls 

basically im queer is what were learning

35. average time you fall asleep?

HA!

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase bc theyre easier to pilot around if u need to go somewhere

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

both!!!!! i love lemon! uhhh well say lemon cake for now

41. last person you texted?

if it counts: a discord vent chat to complain about my second covid shot. if it doesnt: my friend chrissy 

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

leather jacket bc the one i have is comfy as hell 

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy 

47. favorite type of cheese?

string :) 

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

none really but sometimes when things suck i think my 5 tallies tattoo would look lopsided if i added another so i gotta get better

51. current stresses?

my covid shot is making me see shrimp colors (derogatory) and also math hw

53. what is the current state of your hands?

in pain?

55. favorite fairy tale?

this isnt really a faity tale but ive always had it told to me as one so im including it. the Funny Little Woman, an old lady faces a few oni after her dumpling rolls into hell 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

;-;

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

something stupid like nice cock or smthn. i keep saying noooo dont _ youre so sexy so maybe that. anything happens and im like nooooooo youre so sexy :’/

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

too many to count but for now uhh “I know a hawk from a handsaw” because im rereading hamlet

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idk but 4 of them are by cobra starship

65. any permanent scars?

yep :)

67. good luck charms?

green lights, the number 22, an unexpected piece of food i like

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i think i know how i learned most fun facts but uhh a fun fact for you: baby bunnies are called kittens and also bunnies, horses, giraffes, etc cant throw up.

71. least favorite pattern?

really big spaces out polka dots

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

do milkshake and fry count or is that too not weird

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got hit in the face but i dont rmmbr how old i was. 

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

none bc im a plant killer but pothos looks pretty 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license so my id ;-;

91. boxes or bags?

depends for what but id say bags bc u can usually carry more than one at a time

93. nicknames?

all my names are nicknames but uhhh i like the nickname bunny/bun 

[astrology-with-charu]

Saturn Square Uranus & Cryptocurrencies

We have spoken in detail on Saturn Uranus square and I have drawn parallels to Napster of 1999/2000 to crypto’s of current times. Napster which was born and litigated during the last Saturn Square Uranus transit which happens every 22 years, was also litigated in the same transit. I wanted to get very clear on this as there are so many people from our own community misrepresenting for financial reason this information and atleast to my readers I would like to be clear. Full disclosure - this is not financial advice, this is astrological aspects and their interpretation. I personally do not own any crypto currency though I dont have anything against those who do. And no I am not taking the opportunity of kicking the one already down by taking this as opportunity to go “I told you so”. Rather to explain my thinking. I love investing and I am fascinated by the workings of crypto and remain an eternal student of the financial markets as they fascinate me. And I do astrologically strongly believe that digital currency would be one of the big shifts which will come from Uranus in Taurus transit to 2025. Pls make your own financial investment decision, this is not financial advice and these are my personal views - not linked to any affiliated institutions. So having disclosures out of the way, we can get into planetary aspects and why I have been stating this repeatedly.

First thing to understand is that Saturn is the stronger planet and the dispositor of Saturn square Uranus transit which is meant to bring innovation and restrictions. Saturn - the regulations is the stronger. While Uranus in Taurus which is essentially everything and everyone who wants to create financial independence - the whole concept of FIRE, digital currency, independent sources of income, innovation in wealth, innovation in food, shifts in earth - so this planet yes is key and it clearly represents rise of digital currencies. Saturn in Aquarius is structured innovation - they both do have a common ground of innovation but Saturn wants to do it through official channels like digital dollar. While Uranus in Taurus believes thats where the trouble started - centralised structures do not work and they do have a point in an Aquarius world. So I do believe decentralised currency structures would come to life and they would become mainstream along with digital sovereign currencies like dollar, renminbi is already digital now and so forth.

But but but...

So thats where Astrology and past transits I think help give clarity and I am very focused on how this panned out in last Saturn Square Uranus when Napster came into existence and this whole peer to peer file transfer and music being made available online at no cost models started. Napster was killed through litigations but these models did evolve into Apple Music and all such forms of official channel of cheaper access to music online. Uranus was in its own sign Aquarius so the disruption made art (Saturn in Taurus) available to all. So the model did change the world but the thing that inspired the model didn’t make it cause that was not the form it was supposed to exist in and to some extend it was downright unfair to the creatives who made those arts / songs and it was illegal. It was against the Saturn principles. A lot of crypto traders will jump on my case and they do whenever I have a discussion on this cause crypto is traceable even though the miners of cryptocurrencies continues to be found in Iran, in meth raids in UK and ofcourse in China where loss of electricity for few hours resulted in massive drop of bitcoin. China has officially banned crypto - “officially”.

Uranus is in its fall in Taurus. Innovation happens but they are simple versus complex and tough to understand. Uranus in Taurus also has capacity to create a financial crisis due to disruptive financial innovations like a stock market rout due to a crypto issue and we might see if that is indeed the case or not when we experience the second square on 14 June and last square end of the year.

Uranus in Taurus still has inertia, tries to flog the same old technology to make it work for future and many of the cryptos have existed for many years with zero evolution in their technology and they have become like art of a dead artist (Taurus). Cause there are no more to be made, scarcity of it and uniqueness of it (Uranus) is driving its value (Taurus) but Saturn(government, regulations) in Aquarius will never accept anything as norm which is not available to all and cannot be practically used by everyone by the collective (Aquarius). It will accept the ones that can be used by the collective though as I said they both have a common ground - Saturn in Aquarius and Uranus in Taurus both want innovation but one wants practical one and the one that it can regulate versus being mined through a marijuana raid in a meth farm in West Midlands in UK. Uranus in Taurus is at its fall, innovation comes through too many downfalls and there are some forced innovations and they look like a beautiful Taurus curves being fit into a geeky Aquarius space suit. In fall Uranus becomes a pyramid scheme. One person on twitter exciting another one to buy a “rare” asset - call them NFT or call them crypto we loose the sense of value of things but Taurus always tries to bring in itself the balance back to the real value of an asset through an equally disruptive opposite force. This is forced innovation not a real one. Innovation would be if there was technological advancement linked to it. There are many cryptos which do that but most of the people right now buying these currencies in retail have no knowledge of the tech behind any of these currencies. Though North Node in Gemini has accelerated their learning but in Gemini learning is with the attention of a goldfish, a meme is being used for financial decision making more than picking up a detailed description or an annual report of a company. On top of that a fraudulent Bitcoin astrology chart is doing rounds for many astrologers to claim its “unknown” source of gain all to their predictions. Gemini spreads gossip and its shadow side is internet fibs and thats what is the Webster dictionary’s meaning of a tweet most of the time.

I am not claiming to know it all, just expressing what I see. I have held back for long to go into details of it cause I think everyone has right to choose what they believe in and what they spend their money on and they still do. But I thought I will say my piece before its too late for a few. I hope to be grossly wrong so many innocent don’t loose their savings and we don’t see a stock market route causing many to loose their investments. And I have hoped since I first talked of this Napster parallel in my May 2020 video on the aspect and the fact that all innovations would be judged against ecological soundness e.g. why would a currency claimed to be powered by green energy fall down by 14% due to coal mine flooding shutting down power plants in Xinjiang China.

Why are most of the crypto’s not purchased through dollar directly but through a made up currency with no audits called Tether which has been under multiple investigations and whose market cap went up from $8bn to $60bn without any real assets backing. For the uninitiated Tether is like those coins they issue in video game alleys for our real money which we can then use to buy crypto so we can play those video games. Except here its being called investment so you expect them to hold the money you give them but they don’t and we dont know where that money is going as they aren’t regulated or audited. Majority of cryptos are being bought as such. Again this is not financial advice and you should do you own research.

I apologise for adding financial details in an astrological discourse but when my hairdresser starting talking of hash rates of cryptos I thought it was ok to bring this element in.

I love going to Vegas but the one in United States not the one in Iran or Xinjiang or in a meth farm in UK. Neptune is rampant, choose wisely. I have done my part.

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~ Kassandra (thinking of changing my channel name to this let me know what you think)

Why ?

Kassandra was a Trojan priestess of Apollo in Greek mythology cursed to utter true prophecies, but never to be believed.

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#bitcoin #cryptocurrency #astrology #horoscope #Saturn #Uranus #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces