#i know its not colt but let me pretend. ok. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lovehugsandcandy · 4 years ago

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(when you never) see the light (n*fw, Colt x MC, RoD)

A/N: So @shondideaira-blog comes up with AMAZING ideas and requested a rewrite of RoD Chapter 16 but with MC getting shot (apologies for the delay and if this isn’t what you were looking for). Title from Rihanna’s ‘Stay’

Length: ~5,900 words

Rating/Warnings: N*FW (warnings out the wazoo- cops, gun shots, injury, blood, hospital, swearing, sex)

Summary: “... she thinks of nightmares that slide into daylight and then almost the opposite, times like now when the morning sunlight is gauzy and warm and the fears from the dark of night (gunfire and explosions and a scream caught in a throat that won’t open and being left behind by those you love) seem so distant that she knows she can’t return. ‘Colt, come with me.’ He still doesn’t answer, and it’s embarrassing how her voice cracks. ‘Please.’”

Her heart beats 63 times per minute.

It’s an average, of course; she’s studied the display, the colored lights flashing each number, vital signs and jagged lines dipping and rising with her movement, her stress level, the all-encompassing terror snaking cold through her bloodstream. By now, she can predict the digits shown stark on the machinery: rolling to her side increases it by a single beat, focusing on every breath decreases it by three, and thinking about that night and the fear in his eyes and the warmth pooling from between her fingers, well, that sends the numbers skyrocketing and the nurses running.

The shrill tone emitting from the machine echoes the hammering in her chest, a constant noise even in the awkward silence stretching into the corners of the hospital room.

“Are you sure you’ll be ok if I…” Her dad pauses and his eyes bore into the side of her head. It’s a conscious effort not to turn her leaden gaze from the tv. “... If I go to work for a bit?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Her heart rate holds steady, steel will and mental effort holding her annoyance at bay.

Of course he can leave.

He had been there constantly, was at her side when she awoke from surgery, when her vision warped so blurry she had almost mistaken him for another, dark hair floating in and out of her field of vision, a mirage of her deepest desires fading to bitter reality when she realized who was by her side. And then her father had refused to leave her side, sitting in for every visit from the doctor, scrutinizing every movement as they tended wounds and replaced IVs, taking calls stationed outside the door to her room as she watched his shadow pace through the frosted glass. He vacillated between anger expanding coldly through the sterile walls of the hospital room and relief that she was alive seeping into his smile.

“I just want… I want you to be ok.” He pauses and this time, she turns her head, taking in his knuckles paling against the door frame, the lines of his face wrinkled and sallow in the blazing hallway lights. It’s unsaid: he wants things to go back to the way they were.

But they can’t. They never will. There’s no looking back, ever; the world has changed too much for that, and the only path is forward.

Her side still hurts, tiny white pills not enough to knock her out but enough to turn the stabbing pain in her abdomen into a dull ache, and she is tired, eyelids heavy from three nights in an unfamiliar bed; the physical pain pales compared to her sadness, bone-deep and weary. He wasn’t asking about that hurt. “I’ll be fine, dad.”

She almost wasn’t fine.

The barrel of the gun was dark, looming large before her, a sinister circle ready to engulf everything in its path the longer she stared. It was mere seconds, but it felt like hours as she stood, frozen. She couldn’t pull her eyes from the metal; she knew Jason was holding the gun, her high school looming somewhere behind him, her car in shatters behind her, and her friends in the periphery in various states of horror, but the gun consumed her entire field of view.

Would she ever step foot inside this very school again?

There was movement, somewhere behind Jason, Mona, god, Mona was trying to interrupt.

Would she even graduate?

And Colt’s voice echoing to her right, a yell, too far away to help, but close enough to hurt.

God, would she ever see Colt again?

The light was first, a flash, a bright flicker in the inky black night, dancing hauntingly by Jason’s thumb.

Then sound, the crack echoing in the parking lot, bouncing about until she was disoriented, not knowing where one rapport ended and the next began.

And then the pain.

“Ellie!”

More noise. A scream. Was it her?

A fight.

It couldn’t be her; she was looking at the sky, the endless night above, even the streetlights growing darker with every blink of her eyes.

“Ellie!”

The parking lot was cold beneath her. She couldn’t feel it through her leather jacket (red, red, everything was red) but her bare hands traced the pebbles below, uneven and jagged.

Everything hurt.

“Ellie!”

Another scream, the squeal of tires. Someone was pulling out (was she at the sideshow?), rubber burning, caustic and sour as it reached her nose. The engine roar faded, softer in the distance (was she racing?), replaced by movement around her (if she was racing, she was losing-the world was spinning, but she was immobile).

No. Her side… something burned, flaming hot, pain radiating up her side with every choking inhale.

She grimaced and lifted her hand, pressing it to her side, wince deepening. Her side hurt, sharply, as her fingers prodded a gash. It was hot, whatever it was (not skin, not anymore), and there was something liquid on her fingers, tacky, warm.

A cold sweat covered her body; she could feel its path tracing her hairline where the salt burned glass-torn wounds. She wanted to wipe it off, dig out some shards digging into her skin, but every move was draining, labored.

She bit her lip.

“Fuck, Ellie!’

Iron flooded onto her tongue, metallic, sharp. A few stars fought their way through the smog and the thin cloud layer overhead; streetlights shone in the parking lot.

Everything else was darkness.

Except for the red smears on her fingertips.

“Ellie!” Colt entered her field of view, suddenly, eyes wide and panicked. “Are you--- fuck?”

“I…” Everything hurt, God, her stomach felt like… like she had been shot. “Colt? What- what happened?”

“You…” His fingers trembled as they trace her face. “Ellie, you’re gonna be ok. We just gotta…” He looked down at her stomach and his hands pressed into her side, warm and far more comforting than the tears welling in his eyes. “We just gotta…”

Logan dropped to his knees at her other side. “Troublemaker… God…” Mona appeared behind him and even her eyes were wide, face pale.

A siren pierced the night.

She reached up; her fingers shook, and she was tired, oh so tired, but she forced her hand to rise until she cupped Colt’s cheek, thumbing at the moisture trickling over his skin.

He choked out her name, and she dropped her hand. A path of blood, a dark and foul smear over sharpened cheekbone, remained.

“We need… we need to get you out of here.” His voice shook.

She nodded, pushing herself up to her elbows, wincing when even the simple motion hurt.

“C’mon, Troublemaker.” Logan slid an arm around her waist, nudging his shoulder under her arm. “Can you get up?”

She nodded, wrapping her other arm around Colt’s shoulders. He was trembling slightly, lips in a tight white line, but he folded in next to her, taking her weight as her feet found the pavement. Her knees buckled, but the boys held firm and, though she swayed, she stood, hunched and weak. “I’m ok.” In the distance, the siren screamed louder, closer.

“You’re not,” Mona said, eyes assessing her wound. “You need to go to the hospital.”

She nodded; she obviously did. The pavement was tilting under her feet, and she had to focus to take in the parking lot. “Where’s Shaw?”

“Took off like a pussy.” Mona crossed her arms over her chest. Ellie let out a smile; at least the plan was working.

Colt curled his fingers over her hipbone. “Come on.”

“No.” Ellie shook her head, and the pavement swam in time with her movements. “The cars.”

“What? Ellie… we gotta… who cares? You…” She could sense it, the moment he looked down to see the blood spreading over her shirt. “Ellie…” Colt reached out, fingers visibly shaking now, to gently touch her side. Even through the fabric, they came away wet and glossy red. “Ellie, we gotta…” He stared at his hand, at the fingertips damp with her blood. “We gotta…” The siren was speeding on the highway now; they were running out of time.

“Colt.” She touched his cheek, smearing the blood even more. “We need a plan. We gotta get the cars out of here, your bike. We need to move.” He blinked at her and she tipped forward, to where he opened his arms at the last possible second, landing against his chest. They were both covered in blood now but it didn’t even matter, nothing mattered but finishing this last ride. His arms wrapped around her waist and she couldn’t even pretend anymore, just let him hold her up, fully, legs weak and unresponsive. His arms still shook. She tilted her head up, right against his ear, and whispered, “Colt, we need a plan. And I can’t… we need a plan.”

Because that was the meaning of partnership, of trust and support and love. When one person fell, the other was there to catch them. And while it was Colt physically holding her up, she was there to make sure he didn’t collapse either.

When he blinked again, his eyes opened clear. “Logan, get in your car and get out of here.” He balanced her against his own body to fish keys from his pocket, tossing them over to her without pulling his eyes from Ellie’s. “Mona. Take my bike. I’ll contact you later with where to stash it.”

Ellie smiled, head lolling against his chest. She could rest now that someone else was in charge.

“Open your eyes.” His voice was harsh but, when she opened them, she could only read concern in his wide gaze. “Stay awake. We gotta go. Walk.”

And, one foot in front of the other, she did.

~~~~~

Despite her dad’s concern, she’s fine.

After the surgery and the stitches and the unrealized fear that she might lose part of her liver, she had been fine. She had watched tv, avoided conversation with her dad, and reached for the comforting bottle whenever her side ached.

The meds, chatter of the pills ricocheting in her palm, helped ease her physical pain.

If only all pains were as easy to soothe.

She has just reached for the cannister when the door creaks open; she rolls her eyes, again. It had barely been 10 minutes. “Dad, I’m-” The word dies in her mouth as she turns to the door “-fine.”

“You sure? ‘Cuz I’m offended. I think you definitely need your vision checked.”

“Colt…” It’s not even speech; she breathes the word out in an exhale that makes her ribs twinge. “How did you get in?” The sheets shift underneath her as she struggles to sit, letting out a small groan as her side throbs before she’s finally up, watching him edge closer, hands in his pockets and dark circles haunting his eyes.

“What do you mean?” he scoffs. “You think I can’t get access to a fucking hospital room?”

“My dad- he’s been here the whole time, he just left.”

“I know.”

She shakes her head. “What happened? I don’t really…”

“You got shot. Remember that?”

“Oh my God, yes, I remember that.” He’s close enough to touch now, out of place next to the IV machines and constant beeping, leather and smirk tangible and real amidst the white-walled sterility; she pulls him closer, finger tucked into the cuff of his jacket. “What about everyone else? Logan? Mona? X and Toby? Is everyone ok?”

Colt shrugs, easing down next to her to perch on the hospital bed. “They’re fine. Logan’s on his way to Detroit. Mona’s halfway across the country. And X and Toby both went to Oakland.”

“My dad told me Jason got arrested.”

“He did. Your plan worked.” The smile stays small, but Ellie can see the pride and relief shine through. “Not an eye for an eye, but…”

She threads her fingers through his, her thumb tracing calming circles even though he also carries pain impossible to soothe. “It’s good enough. You need to live, Colt. Not be haunted by what’s behind you.”

“I can’t dream, El?”

“You have better dreams than vengeance.” In the hospital room lighting, his every feature is stark, cheekbones sharp over the hollow sloping to his jaw. He looks proud and pensive and defeated, all at once; though her side twinges when she leans over, it’s secondary to the ache in her heart. “Colt?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to go home.”

He surveys the tube still running into her arm, the pills at her bedside. “You sure that’s such a good idea?”

“Yeah. I can’t stay here anymore.”

“I don’t think they are ready to discharge you. You kinda look like you got shot recently.”

“I’ll go AMA, I don’t care?” She pressed the call button.

“You’ll go what?”

“Against Medical Advice. They can’t trap me here.” She jabs it again, frantically; a plan is forming. Finally, the fear and boredom and monotony of the hospital are being replaced, and she’s floating on something that feels implausibly like hope. “Meet me out front.”

He studies her, for so long she wonders if her demand is too presumptuous, and then he breaks out into a grin. “You’re sexy when you’re bossy.”

“Even in a hospital gown?”

His fingers trace the tie at her neck. “Especially then.”

“Really.”

“Easy access.” His eyes gleam, fluorescent shine of the hospital room reflected in beautiful black, and she’s sure his excitement is mirrored on her own face.

“Oh, my God. Just meet me downstairs, you’re my getaway driver.”

He stands, mattress creaking underneath her, and rocks back on his heels. “You sure about this?”

“I have never been more sure about anything.”

When she emerges into the brilliant LA sunshine, he’s leaning against a dark sedan, sunglasses on and every inch the cocky mastermind she remembers. She falls into his arms, replacing antiseptic and sterility with every inhale of motor oil and aftershave.

“No motorcycle?”

“Are you already forgetting you were shot?”

As if she could ever. “I want to go home,” she murmurs into his tee.

“Whatever you want.” He opens the door, eyes hidden by shades, but his shoulders tense. “We can drop you there.”

“No.” Her hand on his forearm stops him and he turns, eyebrow raised. “I want to go home with you.”

His lips against hers are hard, demanding, hand twitching toward her hip but then settling against her jaw, cupping her close as she nestles closer, relieved sigh as she feels her muscles relax for the first time in days.

As they accelerate away, she’s glued to his side, nestled in leather, and the sunlight blinding outside the windshield adds to the warming calm in the backseat.

~~~~~

She couldn’t tell if it’s pitch black outside… or if it’s the back of her eyelids.

“Ellie, eyes open. Now.” Oh. She opened her eyes, dome light illuminating the car interior where Colt was reaching over to buckle her seat belt, nudging the strap away from her side. “You gotta stay awake.”

“Yeah.” She nodded but her eyelids were so heavy, falling closed even when she struggled them awake, and he kissed her, hard, desperate. She kissed back, lips weak but sure, revived in the dead of night.

He slammed the door, sprinting around the car to leap into the driver’s seat, throwing the car in drive and shutting his own door simultaneously. The sirens were blaring now, she could see the blue and red flashing through the night, reflecting off the sterile concrete of the school, and Colt gunned it through the parking lot, the world flying by as he maneuvered onto the street and into the night.

“You’re gonna be ok, you hear me?”

She hummed, watching him change gears. When he drove to her driver’s test, she remembered how confidently he drove, experienced hands easy around the wheel, but now those same hands were moving fast, almost frantic as the speedometer flew higher.

“Ellie?”

“Yeah?” Her eyelids were so heavy.

“Tell me about Langston.”

“What?” Her head rested against the leather as she squinted at him. “Why do you… What?”

“I want to keep you awake and it’s all I got right now,” he responded, chuckling darkly.

“I… Langston.” In truth, she had barely thought about Langston in weeks. “It’s the best college out east. And I was lucky to get in. I always wanted to go there and now…”

“Now what?”

“Am I even gonna go?”

“You’re gonna go.” His hand gripped her knee. “You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna go...“ He moved his hand to downshift as they maneuvered through traffic, but it landed on her leg immediately after, strong and sure. “You’re gonna do great.”

“No. No, you don’t understand.” She sighed. “I don’t know if I… I’m not ready for this to end.”

“For what to end?”

She felt the moisture spilling from her eyes, streaking down her cheeks. Of course she was going to Langston, it was all she wanted, and yet. “I don’t want to leave you.”

He had nothing to say to that, no smart reply; he only squeezed her knee and headlights flashed by, interrupting the night sky that encroached into her darkening vision.

“I just… I don’t want to go back to how I was before.”

“You won’t.”

“Are you just saying that because I now have a hole in my stomach?”

“Christ, El… Gonna be a hell of a scar.”

The tires squealed as he pulled a left, sign declaring the Emergency Department brilliantly red above them. “Gonna be a hell of a story.” She shifted uncomfortably as they pulled to a stop; she could see a smattering of doctors and police officers inside the glass doors when she peeked over.

“Our story’s not over yet, El.” Her tears are pouring out now, stream turned to a river, and they slipped through his fingers as he cupped her face in his hands. “It’s not.” His voice was harsh, sure, and it made the tears even worse.

“I have to go.”

He unbuckled his seat belt. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“No.”

“What do you-”

“See those cops?” He glanced behind her, still cradling her cheeks, and his gaze darkened. “This is something I need to do on my own, Colt.”

“Ellie.”

“I can’t have you get arrested, I-I can’t.”

His lips turn down, his own eyes welling, glistening in the red glow. She pushed forward, as much as she could through the pain, because she might die from her wound but she couldn’t live without threading her fingers through his hair, kissing him with every ounce of trust and surety and love she had been gifted in return.

And then she steps out of the car alone.

She doesn’t look back. She can’t. Even the tiniest glance behind her would make her disappear, Euridyce vanishing in the dawn; a mere turn of her head would force her to stay, compel her to fall into his arms and flee into the night, and her blood would spill rivers onto Mona’s leather interior.

By the time a nurse rushed over, she was bawling, sobs pouring from her mouth, blood ground into the lines of her palms and the tears painting watery pink paths down her forearms.

She shook her head when they asked how badly it hurt.

She couldn’t feel a thing.

~~~~~

The nightmare shocks her awake.

It’s her first night of freedom and it’s quiet, still, the light of the moon replacing the flash of gunfire behind her eyelids, soft exhales beside her replacing the exhaust of a Santagata speeding away.

She can still see her father’s face, stern and disappointed and angry, so angry, when she struggles to sit up, wincing at the flash of pain radiating up her side.

“Mh? Wass… El?” Colt turns under the sheet, hand grasping at nothing until his fingers find her arm, wrapping around her fragile wrist.

“I’m ok…” His skin is warm where hers is corpse-cold, and she’s obviously not convincing enough because he sits up, the line of heat at her spine not enough to quell her shaking muscles. “Really, I’m ok.”

“You need more of those meds?” he slurs, still half-asleep, and she grins despite herself. He’s been surprisingly great, having her holed up in his temporary apartment, dispensing her painkillers upon request, grabbing the ice cream she wants from the 24-hour store down the block.

Maybe she shouldn’t have been surprised.

For all the gruff exterior and snarky bite, he had seen her potential, respected her abilities, challenged her and fought for her and, now, speaks low into her shoulder blade in the pitch-black room, LA haze blocking out the glow of the moon. She can’t see inches in front of her face, can only sense where he is by the crinkle of sheets, the warmth of his skin at her back.

“I’m fine. I… it’s fine.”

He shifts, arm threading around to trace under her shirt, between her breasts, so he can cup her shoulder. “What happened?” She can feel the warmth seeping through her chest; it makes it easier for her to inhale through the terror caught in her throat.

“I…” He waits, shifting so his nose nudges into the curve of her shoulder. “I just saw… I just saw the gun. The flash, when pulled the trigger and I… all I could hear is the crack of the gunshot and I-”

He maneuvers her so she can see his face, barely, white of his eyes framing the darkest of eyes, a flash of white teeth when he mutters her name. “Ellie…”

“And the surgery and days in the hospital room and I didn’t know if I was going to see you again and I…”

His thumb is gentle on her cheekbone, wiping away tears she didn’t even realize were coming. He’s still warm, hand on her face and other palm solid on her back, and she breathes out slowly, heart rate returning to her typical range. “I still dream about my old man.”

“Oh, Colt.”

“I still dream about the bridge, the explosion, and then...” The whites of his eyes flash as he turns his head, sharply. “You. You bleeding out in the parking lot, bleeding through my fingers, and I couldn’t...”

Her fingers find his and squeeze. “What helps?”

“...don’t know yet.”

Her hand on his cheek turns his face back to hers and she has no words, no magic solution, no idea how to overcome the trauma and pain of their shared past. All she can do is bring her lips to his.

Maybe the memories will always be with them, written in scars like the puckering skin on her abdomen, but maybe they can forget, together, to make it through the night.

He responds eagerly, hands cupping her face, trailing down her neck. His thumb traces down her spine and it’s singularly all she can focus on; every nerve ending in her body is so sharply attuned to the callus at the joint sliding inch by inch down her skin that she can feel nothing else, not the sheet pooling around her waist or the contact of her legs against the mattress or the itch and tug of the scab pulling at her skin. It’s so soft, so gentle, and his name falls from her lips, all needy whine and desperate plea, and the flush that covers her skin is sudden, fire hot, spreading down to her toes in a blaze of combustion and if he doesn’t touch her, more, somewhere else, anywhere else, God please, she’s going to explode as a quivering mess in this bed.

He’s gentle, easing her closer to kiss a scorching line down her spine, following the path of his fingers with the fire of his lips. They drag achingly down the sensitive skin of her thinner forearm, up her inner thigh, and it’s somehow more intimate than anything they’ve ever done. She’s already tense, toes curling as his hands make their way under her underwear, and her fingers anchor into his hair as his teeth trace up her thigh.

He avoids her side, where the stitches curl dark into her skin, instead teasing his tongue through her folds, his fingers over her clit; when her vision turns white (not the cold light of gunfire but the warm glow of pleasure and connection and love and lust and freedom), she forgets about her injury, forgets about the hospital, forgets about everything except the strands of hair sliding through her hands and the boy taking care of her in every way that matters.

Sated, she reaches for him as he collapses beside her, straightening her pajamas and tucking a wisp of hair from her face. She’s suddenly exhausted, muscles weak and shaky, but she curves her hand into his t-shirt. The sheets muffle her voice; she wouldn’t be surprised if drool pools underneath her chin, but she’s too tired to care. “Don’t look back.”

“What.”

“Don’t look back.”

“What are you talking-”

“There’s nothing behind us.” If she was going to leave that life behind, she was going to take part of it with her. “Come with me.”

“What? Ellie?”

“Please.”

She doesn’t hear his response; behind her eyes, there’s only darkness (no gunfire flash, no rhythmic beeps). It’s quiet and still and warm, and she sleeps without dreaming.

~~~~~

She could get used to this.

While Colt had taken a few hushed phone calls in the hallway, he was a constant every other second, just in reach, as if his mere presence were enough to protect her from murderous cops and an untimely demise.

A few days into her convalescence, she awakens from a nap, degree by warming degree, curled into his side. Her sleeping schedule has been erratic ever since her frantic discharge escape, and it’s now twilight, golden sunbeams sinking into the horizon behind the highway. Colt is sprawled next to her, playing a game on his phone; she’s curled into his side, eyes blinking open against soft cotton grey, and he drops a kiss on her forehead when she stirs.

“How are you going to sleep tonight?” he asks, smirking through every word and dropping his cell onto the bed. “It’s almost 8. You’ve slept all day.”

“Dunno. Count sheep?” she murmurs against his chest. “Count stars?”

“No stars in LA.”

She mumbles some reply, unintelligible and low. While she was regaining some of her strength, it was a slow improvement; she still generally felt weak and worn. She would have no trouble sleeping.

“Count headlights,” he continues and she tilts her head to watch the white lights fly over the road, glittering diamonds slicing through the horizon.

“Is that what you do?”

He shrugs. “It’s all there is to see.” His fingers thread through her hair, avoiding her forehead where cuts from barreling over the overpass still sit open and obvious along her hairline, but gently tracing down to her back, hands gentler than they have any right to be, belonging to a wanted criminal on the lam from the LAPD. It’s rhythmic and calming, and she wants nothing more than to stay in this bed forever.

“There’s headlights in New York.” She holds her breath. She hadn’t asked again since the nightmare, too terrified of the reply to broach the topic.

“Lots of them.”

She hazards a glance up; to her surprise, he is staring right at her, eyes soft, cautious. He swallows, Adam’s apple tightly bobbing, and nibbles his bottom lip. “Colt, please.”

He glances away, out the window; he doesn’t answer, doesn’t promise anything, and she tightens the arm draped over his chest. The headlights still glow, bright white cutting through the city landscape, and she watches them as the twilight slides into darkness.

~~~~~

Even though she gets stronger, she still makes him help her, pouting through simple challenges like carrying grocery bags or reaching high shelves. He grumbles through it, but she can’t hide her smirk when he obliges regardless.

(Tougher challenges, like holding her after nightmares that leave her quaking, those are done without complaint and the gratitude gets stuck in her throat, lodged against where her heart races at triple the normal tempo.)

When she feels up to it, he needs no persuading to help her shower. He’s surprisingly gentle with her hair, fingers massaging shampoo against her scalp as she mewls piteously, and lathers her body in careful strokes that build heat in her core. His fingers slow as he nears her side, bypassing the bruise beginning to green and the scab that’s beginning to crust about the stitches. His hands avoid the wound noticeably.

“Do you not like blood or something?”

He quirks an eyebrow, droplets raining from his hair. “I’m fine with it. I got shot too, remember?” Her eyes drop to his shoulder. Yes, she remembers and, even if she managed to forget that horrific night, his own scar would remind her, dark mark noticeable against the curve of muscle. “Not as bad as you.”

“Yeah… it’s just… you just seem wigged out at the sight of blood…”

He looks behind her, straight at the shower wall, but she has the sense that he doesn’t see a single white tile square. She sees images in her own mind, flashes of her blood on his fingertips in a shadowy parking lot, his father’s blood a morbid trail across the garage. “I don’t like seeing the blood of people I care about.”

Well, she doesn’t have an answer to that. She can only reach up, wet hair sliding through her fingers, to pull him down, closer, until they’re sharing the same breath and his lips consume hers with practiced ease. He backs her against the wall, so gentle, as if she were spun glass, fingers tender about her waist even though his lips capture hers insistently.

They kiss with abandon, making out until the steady stream of water cools, turning tepid, and then cold, and then he interlaces their fingers together to pull her out of the shower. By the time they get out of the bathroom, they made a weak attempt at towel drying, but her back is still wet as he lays her down against the sheets.

But the sensation of water cooling is quickly replaced by others.

And the only flashes of light are stars behind her eyes.

And the only sound is his muttered curse, harsh fingertips digging deep into the muscles of her ass.

And when she trails fingertips over his cheekbone, only sweat remains.

~~~~~

He makes her breakfast, too.

It’s only a few days before she’s scheduled to head east, and it looms large on her mind. She requests pomegranate seeds and yogurt, granola and a drizzle of honey, something fancy and annoying just to see him fluster.

“Seriously?”

“Please, Colt?” She bats her eyelashes, burrowed under blankets, and he huffs, throwing on a shirt before trudging to the store.

She giggles when he cuts into the fruit; it’s going to stain the cheap formica counter, but he apparently doesn’t care, hacking into the pomegranate skin with a paring knife and cursing under his breath.

“This is such a pain in the ass.”

“Remember when you said I could have anything I wanted.”

He raises an eyebrow. “We were in bed, sweetheart. I wasn’t asking for a meal plan.”

“Well…” She gingerly steps against the counter and stands on her tiptoes, testing her side. When there’s no pain, she hops up to sit next to the bowl with only a slight grimace. “This is what I wanted. I wanted you to make me breakfast.” Triumphant, she pops a seed into her mouth.

His gaze drops to the fruit in front of him as he shakes his head ruefully. She watches the sculpted biceps move as he separates the seeds from the pale flesh, dropping them into her yogurt. There are easier ways to cut the fruit, taught by her mother over quiet breakfasts even more precious in retrospect, but watching him bite his lip in concentration, she keeps the information to herself.

She’s so focused on the tip of his tongue between his lips and the bicep shifting under his tee that it takes a moment to realize that he stands frozen beside her. “Colt?” His gaze is fixed on his hand, and she leans close to look over. Eyes haunted, he’s staring at a pomegranate seed, smashed against his finger; it takes her a moment but, at this angle, it looks like blood, a red smear staining his thumb, an eerie jarring flashback to blood on his hands.

She doesn’t even think, only reaches over to drag her teeth across the fleshy pad of finger, sucking the sweet juice onto her tongue. When his gaze flits to hers, heat rises in her cheeks.

“What?” He doesn’t respond, and she thinks of nightmares that slide into daylight and then almost the opposite, times like now when the morning sunlight is gauzy and warm and the fears from the dark of night (gunfire and explosions and a scream caught in a throat that won’t open and being left behind by those you love) seem so distant that she knows she can’t return. “Colt, come with me.” He still doesn’t answer, and it’s embarrassing how her voice cracks. “Please.”

“Ellie…”

“You don’t need to stay here. There’s nothing good here for us.”

“I’m not running. I’m not gonna run from anything.”

“What if you ran towards something instead?”

“Like what?” There’s a pomegranate juice smear bright against his cheekbone, a reminder of her hands on him, a mark that won’t scar but is permanent, regardless.

“...A new future.”

~~~~~

Breakfast with her dad is as awkward and stilted as she feared.

He makes the Ellie Special, and she crams forkfuls of waffles in her mouth as they try and fail to find any safe topic of conversation, past bond cleaved, strained silence left behind.

Even though his fear for her life had tempered his fury, he still saw her as a songbird, resigned to a gilded cage to sing on command and lead a life of clipped wings.

But she learned what she could do - chase dreams and fly high and soar into a new life with its own scars and tears and triumphs.

She walks out the door with a plate of food and a promise to call. When he shuts the front door, it sounds like the closing of a book, her childhood written and read, its last few months unsatisfactory in her father’s review.

When she thinks about it, she wouldn’t have changed a thing.

She plops into the driver’s seat and takes a deep breath, hands tight around the steering wheel, watching as the curtains drift shut. Away from her father’s prying eyes, head in her hands, she lets it out, tears pouring through her fingers, tears of joy, of heartache, of hope, of wonder... and of love.

Then, she reverses out of her driveway, smoothly popping the clutch into first as she heads to retrieve the motorcycle jockey whose calloused hands hold her heart.

It will take days to make it out east.

They had better get started.

There’s nothing but the open road ahead and they get to speed along, together.

And, at dawn, the sun peeking over the interstate is wholly brilliant, warm and peaceful, every single day.

Tags

Perma @desiree-pow @leelee10898 @emichelle @client-327 @choicesgremlin @brightpinkpeppercorn @thequeenofcronuts @lilyofchoices @choicesarehard @peaceinmidstofchaos @ritachacha @burnsoslow

ROD @omgjasminesimone @mskaneko @lovemychoices @troublemakerinspace @zaffrenotes @alyssalauren

Colt

@deimosensblog @alegria1580 @thefarrari @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @flowerpowell@poeticscolt @zaira-oh-zaira @akrenich @sibella-plays-choices @maxwellsquidsuit @liamzigmichael4ever @octobereighth @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction @theeccentricbibliophile @dancingboba @tempesrature @romewritingshop @shondideaira-blog @isometimesplaychoices @riyana99

#playchoices fanfiction #colt x mc #colt kaneko #n*fw #cw: police #cw: cops #cw: blood #cw: injury #cw: hospital #amy writes

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celestias-right-hoof-mas-au · 3 years ago

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WARNING: Although this particular chapter does not depict violence or cursing, future installments will. As this story is based on an adult parody of MLP called The Mentally Advanced Series. I would encourage that if you had not watched it to do so to get a grasp of the world in which this takes place. Many of the jokes, lore, and otherwise are in reference to MAS, not just simply My Little Pony. I have also made a supercut that includes every reference and appearance of Celestia in the series. In case watching the entire MAS series maybe too time consuming. If you find Celestia, or other canon characters, used in crude and unpleasant depictions offensive, this is your warning. However, I would appreciate that you take a look anyway with an open mind. Celestia Supercut Link

Next >

The morning sun shimmered through Valiance Ascalon’s window. The large pale horse finished packing her briefcase and donned her metallic purple and gold armor. Her parents, a large albino shire and a dusty unicorn, awaited her along with the whole town of Salo at its entrance for Valiance’s departure.

“... And remember to mind your manners, she is generous, but easily disrespected.” Valiance’s mother, the unicorn, warned as she stood on her back legs to give her daughter one final hug.

“I know, Ma. You’ve told me several times.” Valiance replied warmly, returning the hug.

“Don’t you forget about us either, write to us when you get the chance.” her father, the shire, said gruffly.

“Yes, Pa, I knooow.” Valiance teasingly replied as she also gave him one more hug, “I’ll be sure to write to you as soon as I get settled.”

“Hey, Valiance!” called a young colt who squeezed his way through the crowd, “I heard you’re going to Canterlot to work for Celestia. You better be nice, or she’ll have ya flailed!”

“Junior!” the colt’s mother barked, slapping him in the back of the head.

“Ow! What’d I do?! I was only telling her the truth!” the colt yelped, rubbing his head.

Valiance chuckled, adjusting her helmet on before kneeling to the colt, “Thanks for the warning, but I think I’ll be ok.” She gave his mane a good ruffling before rising to her hooves. Within a few short strides, all she ever knew was behind her. Then, for one last time, she looked back to the town and proudly declared, “Hail Celestia!”

“Hail Celestia!” cheered the villagers as they watched Valiance make her leave and waved goodbye.

The town of Salo was located on the dryer half of the Hayseed Swamps where its residents lived in relative isolation for generations. Its closest neighbor was Dodge Junction, and even then, the walk Valiance had traversed, had taken from dawn to the early afternoon. It wasn’t the first time she had visited the junction for its train station, however, this time was different. Whether it was with her parents, with her classmates, or helping any of the local farmers deliver goods, Valiance had seen her fair share of mainland Equestria, if but briefly and never alone.

Butterflies aggressively fluttered in her chest once she sat down in her seat on the train. The pony adjacent to her only quickly flipped through his paper as she attempted to gain his attention.

“Sorry,” Valiance blurted out, “I’m quite nervous, it’s the first time I’m riding the train alone, heh, what about you?”

The business pony shot her a look with half opened eyes, “Lady, it’s my job.” He flipped his paper to shield himself from the bizarre mare, yet her striking size and armor left his curiosity to be satisfied. Closing his eyes and taking in a sharp sigh, he threw his paper to his side and asked, “So what's your story?”

Though the stallion could not see her face underneath her helmet, a gleam in Valiance’s eyes shimmered and a smile grew on her lips, “Oh! I am on my way to Canterlot to serve no other than Princess Celestia herself!” “That explains the getup, but why would you wanna do something like that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? What could be more meaningful in life than serving Celestia herself?”

The stallion paused for a moment before lightly chuckling, “I get it now. You’re one of those cultists, aren’t you?”

Valiance gasped, “I-I beg your pardon? A cultist?”

“Yeah, every couple of years some loons come outta the woodwork sacrificing foals in the name of Celestia. It makes sense too, since you’re here at Dodge Junction. You probably swam outta the Hayseed Swamps, didn’t you?”

“Well… yes. But I assure you, we’re not cultists. And we don’t sacrifice fillies. How could you say that to someone you just met?”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He smiled while patting her shoulder, “I’m a cultist too. There’s a bunch of freaks and weirdos like us in the city. You’ll feel right at home.”

Valiance sunk deep into her seat, regretting opening her mouth. As the stallion returned to his paper with a comforted smile, Valiance hoped her new acquaintance's words were exaggerated.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late afternoon when the train had finally reached Canterlot. The cultist gave a friendly wave as Valiance rushed off trying not to look back. She quickly looked towards the station’s clock and noted, ‘I better grab a room so I can hurry to the military signup office before it closes.’ She briskly booked a room in the closest hotel she came across and rushed to the castle. With five minutes to spare, Valiance slammed the door open to the enlistment office.

“Excuse me, there’s no need to cause a ruckus.” the front desk pony insisted as he shuffled a stack of papers, “How can I help you?”

“I’m so sorry, but I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to sign up.” Valiance panted, removing her helmet.

“Eager to enlist? Never heard of that before. Well, here’s the papers, be sure to read thoroughly and don’t pretend like we didn’t warn you.” the secretary grunted as he handed Valiance a stack of documents.

Valiance thought to herself aloud, “Wow, who would’ve thought it was so easy.”

“That’s what they all say.” the secretary winked, “Let me know how it goes in a month. They always beg to get out.”

Valiance’s signature sealed her fate in every document and with a smile stamped across her face, no less. Her stomach was tingling in excitement as the secretary looked over her papers.

“Welcome to the royal army, soldier.” the secretary remarked while stamping her documents, “You’re in luck, the next boot camp starts up in a few days. Here’s a card of where it will be and what time. Don’t be late, cause we’ll find you if you are.”

Valiance took the card while she giggled and jumped in place. Just that morning, she was back at home, and now she was working for the God Princess herself. Suddenly, she stopped, “Won’t I need a physical and mental examination of some sort?”

“Sure. But that’ll come when boot camp starts. Not to mention, you look healthy enough. But between you and me, everypony gets accepted. Where do you think the masked guards come from?” the secretary asked as he leaned in closer, “Just don’t ask them about that. In fact, don’t ask them anything, ever. Don’t talk to them.”

Valiance tightened her lips, “Thank you. I’ll, uh, be sure to keep that in mind.” Slowly she backed out of the office, wishing the secretary a goodnight, and into the evening air. With the amber glow of her magic, she wrapped her mane up as tightly as she could before placing her helmet back on. Despite the secretary’s warnings, Valiance didn’t feel any less enthusiastic about her success. She stretched and cracked her neck, wanting nothing more than to grab a quick bite to eat before heading back to her hotel room for some much needed rest. Thinking back to past field trips as a filly, she recalled the castle garden also led to the entrance and began to make her way through there as a shortcut.

Inside, beautiful plants of nearly every kind flourished. Contrastly, horribly disfigured marble statues with faces of pure fear and agony drew the eye from every direction. ‘I don't remember the sculptures in the garden being so… what was it? Avant-garde?’ Valiance thought as she looked at a statue of a goblin-like creature mooning her, a lone pigeon sitting right on its exposed bottom.

"They say that my work inspired the art of Jeffrey Dahmare." A low voice echoed from behind. Valiance froze at the sound and slowly turned to face the source. Towering over even her, hair glistening in the colors of day, stood the God Princess, Celestia. A confident smirk graced her lips, “Do you like it, Pale One?”

Before Valiance’s knees could buckle from Celestia’s poise, she kneeled and lowered her head, “Your majesty, it’s an honor to be in your presence.”

“I couldn’t help but be drawn towards your armor. It’s a vintage design. Where do you come from?”

“The village of Salo, ma’am.”

“Salo, you say? My, it has been a long time since someone mentioned that name. One of the few populations I needed not show force for their cooperation. Your people’s naivete is amusing, however, your innocence is admirable to an extent.”

Valiance held her breath, unsure of the princess’ intentions behind her statement. Yet, after a moment, she replied with slight shakiness, “Much obliged, your majesty.”

“Tell me, why are you here, Pale One?” Celestia asked.

“As you said, our devotion to you is as strong today as when Salo was founded. To serve and to die for you would be my greatest honor.” Valiance replied humbly, “Today, I signed up for the royal army, in hopes of bringing glory to you, and the ponies of Salo.”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed and her grin grew wider. After a few moments of silence, Celestia turned away towards the castle. As she departed she called back to Valiance, “I expect nothing but the best from my soldiers.”

When Celestia left the premise, Valiance sprinted out of the castle grounds, heart pounding, and mind racing. Rushing to her hotel room, she threw off her armor, leapt onto her bed, and screamed into her pillow. Not a more perfect day could’ve existed for Valiance and in a few days her dream of servitude would begin.

Before then, Valiance pulled out a pen and paper and began a letter to home about her first day in Canterlot.

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snkpolls · 5 years ago

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SnK Chapter 126 Poll Results

The chapter 126 poll closed with 1,647 responses. Thank you for your support! This month’s poll results were compiled by @shifter-lines , /u/alooulla, /u/_Puppet_, @manerein and @momtaku.

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,514 responses

“Rate the Chapter” is a genuine bell curve this month instead of having its more typical overwhelmingly positive skew. While not terrible by any means, the response to chapter 126 was the most lukewarm since chapter 107, and it was the second worse performing chapter since we started the poll.

(Kazoo Avengers theme)

By far, this was the chapter I enjoyed the least, I just hope that the ending feels realistic

Definitely fast paced, but definitely needed to finally kick things into high gear. The Calm Before The Storm…

it was pretty disappointing by aot standards, but the last 15 chapters were amazing, so what am i even complaining for.... i just hope that isayama can write a decent ending.

I feel like this is either one of those chapters that will be more rewarding in hindsight when we have more info or was just straight up moving forward so we can get to the good stuff faster and we will have to suck it up and move on. All in all I think it was a good chapter even if a little rushed.

Easily the worst chapter in years due to the fast pacing, convenient plot developments and cliche and very cheesy and cringey ending page quote.

In the anime they could make a whole episode out this single chapter instead of using two chapters to make a single episode

ISAYAMA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!! THE SAUNA AINT RUNNING AWAY FROM YOU

Haha pie

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,519 responses

After nearly a year of absence Levi and Hange were finally back in the story so it’s no surprise that “Everything with Levi and Hange” topped the list of favorite moments with 22.1%. “Avengers Assemble” was a distant second with 10.6%. Confirmation that Levi was alive came in third (10.2%).

ONYANKOPON CALLYING JAEGERISTS A BUNCH OF CHAUVINISTS

Pieck and Hange teaming up? Eren better watch out because those two together are gonna KICK SOME ASS!

Hange needs so much more appreciation, she is such a good person. I hope she and Levi both survive this shit.

I loved everything that happened, it just desperately needs some more detail filled in.

I loved Levi and Hange interactions

Annie eating pie is just perfect

It was so good to see Levi and Hanji again and together. They suffered so much, i need an end where they both survive and can have a restful retirement

Glad to see that Connie is still a good guy. Also that he is trying his best becouse of his Mother.

But what Pieck Pieck? The greatest tragedy is that Isayama took that from us, y'know not that Eren is destroying the world or something...

I really loved to see Armin and Annie together!

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,507 responses

Talk about polarity. “Avengers Assemble” may have been the second most popular “Favorite Moment” but it was also the landslide winner for “Least Favorite” with nearly 22% of the fandom selected it as the worst moment of the chapter. “Floch’s Speech” (13.8%) and “The Ragako Subplot” (13.5%) rounded out the top 3.

everyone called them the avengers but lets get real they are a fuckin Suicide Squad

Why are we wasting time on Louise

Avengers Lowcost version

Didn't understand Magath reasons to join forces with his enemys. It felt like some story in between was missing.

Can I just say I hate what Isayama did with Connie's character? I've never seen a character as bipolar in his development

Floch was the only good part....

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,503 responses

Hange (23%), Jean (16.2%) and Armin (13.4%) were our top three favorite characters this month. It needs to be said that “Pie” came in at number four with nearly 10% of the fandom selecting it.

it WAS nice to see characters choosing to be their best selves for the sake of others. For that reason, it was difficult to pick an MVP -- but I gave it to Onyankopon because he crystallized so eloquently exactly what I had been thinking since Eren started the Rumbling.

Levi and hange tho

So much Erwin nods! Yesss <333

Still love my boy Jean!

Some characters are still acting consistent: Jean, Magath, Levi (still not over killing the BT and that's good), Onyankopon and Floch.

Connies growth, Jean's motivation, I'm glad these boys are reclaiming their almost-lost humanity!

Levi. That is all.

Oh, also, I want pie.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE HANGE AND LEVI CAMPSITE MOMENT? 1,494 responses

“Hange suggesting that they live in the woods together” (27.2%) was the favorite campsite moment, followed by “Levi’s words upon waking up” (23.3%). “Hange sniping while shedding a tear” was third (19.6%))

I'm giving this 5/5 solely for Yams finally feeding the LeviHan shippers some good fucking food after so long.

I ship Levi and Hange. It's so cute when Hange realized that Levi was listening to her/him while pretending to sleep.

Shirtless Levi round two! Wit, you better do the job correctly this time!

We need a Historia chapter but it’s great to see Hange and Levi being back.

PIECK… FINGER? 1,492 responses

Pieck Finger. Pieck Finger everybody. You know how a common response to trauma or awkwardness is humor? Well 42.6% of you are primarily concerned with how “Pieck Finger” will be memed. 24.7% of you accept the trauma and say you wish she would’ve just stayed “Pieck”, and 20.6% of you are glad she has a last name, but did it really have to end like this? 6.5% of you think it’s a “cool and realistic last name”, and I think you guys scare me more than the people who vote “Snapchat” on the last question every month. More on that later.

"pekfinger" is swedish for "pointer finger" too. oh lord

Back when Pieck was supposed to be a dude, the working name was "Oliver Pieck", at least from what I read on the AoT wiki. I feel like Isayama could have just switched the first and last name around to make it "Pieck Oliver." That would've sounded far less weird.

I know a guy named Buck Ramming. Pieck Finger is fine by me lol

It's an instruction not a name.

Levi sure could use a couple of Piecks right about now heyoooooo

the fact that she got the worst titan and now also the worst name it’s so funny

What kind of a first name is Pieck?

AS PREDICTED, CONNIE’S ROADTRIP WITH FALCO ENDED AMICABLY. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? 1,498 responses

The Ragako subplot did little for the readers with nearly one-third of the fandom calling it a complete waste of time. The majority (46.2%) were slightly more charitable selecting “It was ok. I’m glad it wrapped up quickly”. Only 17.5% loved the moment. The write-ins were pretty damning.

Good plotpoint, really bad execution

I cringed the whole time.

I liked the outcome, but it was handled too quickly

A complete waste of time: Connie's arc? Sharted over. The consequences about Falco? Sharted over. Possibility to exploit serumbowl or Ymir's memories? Glossed over.

All of this made no sense and it was solved so quickly it seemed unrealistic. YAMS WE NEED PROPER CLOSURE PLS DON'T WASTE MORE INK

Connie changed his mind a bit too quickly, but it was good nevertheless

Connie deserved better writing.

Felt too shallow for how quick it sprung up, needed more development. As it is now, it could've just not happened

I'm glad that Connie hasn't died yet because I appreciate him, but there's been wasted potential. Ymir's memories and Porco and Colt's deaths have been reduced to a single vignette where we can only speculate and write fics.

Missed opportunity to actually develop Connie's character. We didn't learn anything we didn't already know about Connie.

This feels like what the anime did to the Uprising Arc. It happened way too fast and honestly felt like Isayama was just checking it off a list, so to say. Which is honeslty a bit uncharactieristic of his writing. I really hope this doesn't start, or continue, a trend...

WHICH DENTAL HYGIENE MOMENT DID YOU ENJOY MORE? 1,494 responses

Before I talk about the numbers, I just want to shout out the one guy who responded “Other” and just said “why”. Anyway, a solid majority of you guys’ favorite dental hygiene moment was Hange asking Pieck rude lady questions, which frankly sounds much worse than it actually is. The next most common answer, getting just over 25% of the votes, was Connie’s Master Plan™, followed by “Both”, followed by “Neither!” I still like the guy who just said “why”.

I didn't mind it, but I heard that Isayama did this so he could get a toothbrush merch campaign going lol

Isayama has a teeth fetish confirmed

Holy Fuck what was Connies face doing when he was talking about titan teeth brushing.

Why, just why

Pie

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOW MIKASA ACTED TOWARDS LOUISE? 1,457 responses

The fandom is almost evenly divided over Mikasa’s actions towards Louise. By the narrowest of margins, Mikasa’s compassionate nature took the majority (26.8%). The other extreme, “Mikasa should’ve sucked it up and let the girl be happy”, was second with 26.2%. A quarter of the fandom instead chose to focus on Louise. “Louise was crazy and deserves the cold shoulder” was third (23.9%).

It's not surprising that Mikasa ran out of f*cks to give. There are only so many lives she can value, and right now she doesn't have the time to spare, or room in her heart.

I don't think Mikasa had any responsibility there, and the scarf is hers. Given its significance, and that she owes Louise nothing, it seemed like the moment was morally neutral.

I really didn't care. Louise is barely a character, and Mikasa had no duty to be nice to a person who enabled and supported a bloody coup just because she saved her life once.

I don’t blame Mikasa. I don’t like and want to spend time with my stalkers either

I felt bad for Louise. She’s dying, let her think you care about her, Mikasa

I felt like Louise is completely obsessional but Mikasa is just as much. To me these kinds of moments show that Mikasa has completely lost it recently

I'm concerned about what this says for Mikasa's character development thus far, and I felt kind of bad for Louise

I'm sick of the scarf back and forth

It actually seems quite obvious to me that Mikasa pitied the poor girl, but there was nothing she could have done for her. Because she simply lacks the time necessary to care for Luise, or change her mind or make sure that she's ok.

That this is about Mikasa’s compassion or lack thereof I think says more about how we feel women should feel. I think it was fine, she barely knows Louise and there is a lot more going on. Louise is a grown woman that made her own decisions.

the most interesting part about it is that Eren asked Louise to throw the scarf away. that's it.

Mikasa already did a good gesture by visiting Louise, no one would ask Jean to do the same with Floch, so I don't see the big deal. Both cases are "protagonist sees themselves in antagonist, and realise how they mustn't become like them".

WHY DID MIKASA DECIDE TO TAKE HER SCARF BACK? 1,482 responses

“Mikasa wants it back for other reasons” was the selection of nearly half of respondents, since “wearing it” and vague malice towards Louise were the other two options.

Eren wants her to throw it away, so she's making her own decision and going against his wishes on purpose.

I don’t know if she’ll wear it again, but it’s always been her scarf and she’ll decide it’s fate when she’s ready

I think she wants to give it back to Eren.

It's still important to her. She may let go of Eren but the scarf is always gonna be there to remind her of what was and the family she once had.

It’s just simply that it’s hard to throw away a possession you held dear for most of your life. It’d be more out of character for her to throw it away. I don’t think she ever planned on abandoning the scarf—setting it aside was rather Isayama’s way of showing Mikasa’s conflicted thoughts on her relationship with Eren.

Ultimately, Mikasa's the authority on the scarf and it's emotional weight, while Louise was trying to squeeze her own meaning out of it. It wasn't Louise's place to do so, and it wasn't her scarf to take. Whatever is to be done with it, to see it used again, given to someone else, or see it thrown out or destroyed, is a choice only the scarf's real owner, Mikasa, should make.

THEY FOUND ANNIE BY SITTING NEXT TO HER WHILE SHE WAS EATING PIE, THOUGHTS? 1,497 responses

The reunion with Annie was another chapter moment that fell flat for the majority with only 21.8% expressing approval with it. The majority (31.8%) thought it would’ve been ok if there was more time for conversation and reaction and 22% were primarily bothered by the coincidence involved in the reunion. The remaining 20% found the lazy writing unforgivable.

*sigh*

There was way too much build up just to have it end in a gag. It was cute, but it... just doesn't work?

Are you telling me that every time you talk about Robert Downey Jr. he doesn't just appear right next to you?

Humor was not appropriate in this situation

I fucking loved it

I think it's lazy writing but it made me laugh pretty hard so I'll give it a pass

It was a funny moment but definitely not how I had imagined nor hoped Armin/Annie's reunion would happen

Sitting together like nothing happened before and eat and laugh… are you serious?!! It’s not funny

SNK has always had funny moments like this woven into it, especially when the 104th were still trainee's, and it's nice to see a tonal flashback to the past like this.

Stranger things have happened. Floch's hair, for example.

WHAT SORT OF PIES DO YOU THINK THEY WERE EATING? 1,469 responses

Fruit. Definitely fruit.

...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What's the point of this question?? I'm confused

What the fuck is a meat pie?

We're missing PIEces of the puzzle still

WHAT PIE WOULD YOU SCARF DOWN THAT FAST IF YOU WERE ANNIE? 1,459 responses

Apple (23.9%), and chocolate (16.2%) are our favorite pies, with Meat and “I don’t like pie” tying for third (11.4%). Several respondents were rather vocal about this even being asked. To them I say Isayama is the one who started this :P

Apricot, you American heathens

Duh. Pineapple of course

I'd be more worried about getting home to my dad before he's crushed by a psycho

Marleyan organ pie made by the Usurper Chad himself!

nectarine pie.... you should try it

Rhubarb pie. Best Pie Ever.

Sweet Potato Pie!

There are so many interesting questions you could have asked in this poll yet didn't, but you're asking about pie? (A/N: There are so many interesting things Isayama could have drawn in this chapter yet didn't, but he's drawing about pie? )

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT HITCH BEING LEFT BEHIND? 1,479 responses

While the majority thought it was a good way to write her out (36.3%), there was plenty of disappointment (26.2%) and many who thought it could’ve been handled better (16.6%). A segment of the fandom (18.5%) thinks she’ll be back since there is more she has yet to do.

Perfect. She is always left behind throughout the series. The continuation of this makes sense.

Does the lack of Hitch means the lack of pies? Because this is unacceptable.

Glad that she'll survive probably, but she was such an interesting character

Annie and Hitch were my new otp, so just sad feels

Hitch is safe from now on. Ok for me.

I felt so sorry for her, because Annie's disappearance reminded me a bit of Hitch's relationship with Marlowe. Once more it seemed like the Survey Corps was taking someone precious away from her, off to an unknown and risky fate

I never had pie so Idk.

WERE YOU WORRIED THAT JEAN WOULD JOIN THE JAEGERISTS? 1,480 responses

For this question, 21.5% of you were a little nervous that Jean might join the Jaegerists, but a much more significant 69.2% understood the implied fact that the Jaegerists only accept humans, and Jean is a horse, and therefore there was never any threat of him allying with them. You’d think that with like four hundred years of this series being out, I’d think of a better way to make that joke, but here we are. Anyway, the last 9.3% of you think Jean would do more to help Paradis if he joined the Ab Church, which is an excellent parallel to the Wall Church in the beginning of the series, I might add.

I still wish more time was given to the subplots such as more time to stew on Jean joining the Yaegarists

LAST MONTH 75% OF THE FANDOM THOUGHT JEAN WOULD BE THE PERSON TO TAKE DOWN FLOCH. DO YOU STILL THINK THE HAIRBOWL WILL HAPPEN? 1,463 responses

Remaining in the strong majority, 72.6% of you guys think there will be some sort of confrontation between Jean and Floch, though whether that means you think Jean will be the person to “take down” Floch or not is beyond me. I don’t know. I didn’t write this question, I’m just writing the blurb for it.

I'm still betting on Floch shooting Jean in the head as a punishment for not going along with the flow

take down Floch please!!!! ..

FINAL WORDS. WHO DID IT BETTER? 1,479 responses

With 43% of the vote, Onyankopon’s... several... words? beat out Yelena’s strong and (mostly) silent type response (which got 33.1% of the vote, by the way) at their “execution''. 23.9% of respondents said “Both”, and while technically “both” couldn’t have done it “better”, I’ll let it slide, because they were both pretty cool, and semantics don’t matter.

Best boy was Onyankopon. We only used to get glimpses of him and finally he has rebelled, showing that he has more guts than some of our main characters.

JEAN AND HANGE’S PLAN TO ESCAPE SHIGANSHINA HAPPENED OFFSCREEN. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 1,473 responses

Three-fourths of the fandom expressed some disapproval of how the offscreen planning of the escape from Shinganshina went down calling it sloppy(18.1%) and confusing (13.9%). Of those, the majority (39%) will be ok with it if a future chapter provides more details. Only a quarter of the fandom completely loved the handling of this.

Even if flashbacks fill the gaps later, they won't make 126 a better chapter.

How did they even communicate? I thought it was all planned between Jean and Mikasa

on the page with the titans marching at night, you can see a figure standing outside jean's window. could be hange coming to discuss plans

I liked it, but I think I like it even more if it's explained in the next chapter(s).

I think he did it that way to add surprise. I feel like lately he has been in general illustrating with a more cinematic eye and by writing the scene this way it will play better in visual media. Lately I feel like he has been thinking this way, it’s been a trend for a while now.

This is why you shouldn't cram up 3 chapters worth of content into one. I don't care if Isayama has to end his volume on some goddamn awful page. You don't mess with certain parts of the narrative.

It was fine, it wasn't necessarily a scene that needed to be included so I'm fine with it.

WHO WAS THE PERSON IN THE WINDOW? 1,456 responses

Who was the person in the window? Was Chapter 116 the last time we’ll ever see Eren transform into his Attack Titan? How to turn into a titan without alerting the military police??? When will I stop asking questions? Right now!

Just under two-thirds of the votes for this question went to Shadis. Following Shadis at a clean 10% is Zeke, trailed by Zombie Erwin at 9.6%. Given the theories about Eren’s body at the end of 117 being a Warhammer clone, I never thought I’d see the day when Zombie Erwin beats Eren in a “who is the mysterious character who is not inside Eren’s Titan” question, but here we are!

CHADIS

Keith Lurkdis

Erwin never died! What even is that option 'zombie Erwin'???

Farmer-kun

Idk but whomever it is I hope they're a good guy.

Male adult figure... Must be my man Shadis. There's no way Zeke would wear so many clothes.

Ugh I have no idea. I’m not going to pretend I can predict anything anymore.

2Pac

WHY DO YOU THINK MAGATH DEMANDED THEY CAPTURE YELENA? 1,465 responses

Why did Magath bring Yelena back with Jean and Onomatopoeia? ~20% of you thought it was because she’s need for a plan involving Zeke, ~17% think he wants the details of Zeke’s plan from her, just over 14% said he wants information about Eren, 4.4% of you think he wants her as a prisoner, and the overwhelming majority, at 44.6%, think it’s all of the above.

My theory is that Yelena is Magath's daughter

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE FINAL PANEL? 1,478 responses

Another close one. If we disregard those who selected “Avengers Assemble”, which even though we added it I have no idea if it’s meant “Hell yes, can’t wait to see the Hulk and Black Widow together again” or “Please let Tony Stark’s legacy RIP.”, The “I didn’t like it” beat out the “I liked it” by 0.3%. However you look at the data, it’s astonishing that essentially one-third of the fandom did not like this ending.

*sigh*

Get in loser, we're going to save the world

A nice cringe to start my day with :)

The old gangs back together but with ADDITIONAL TRAUMA

I think it was supposed to be satirical. A lot of us expected that the warriors and the 104th would unite again so I think Isayama made it as cliché as possible to 1)offer the readers some comic relief, 2)maybe mock his own plot and show that he's aware that this alliance is kind of cliché.

At what point did Annie and Reiner deserve to be forgiven and taken in by the SC? And why do they think they actually can (or even should) stop the Rumbling?

Marvel copied the last panel

It is a reference to Reiner’s long time ambition, and an indication to his next role. Helos perhap. But I don't think isayama would let him save the world happily. Maybe he will save the world in an ironic and tragic way.

Brilliant !!! Finally it's Connie's turn to shine.

Can't wait to see this optimism crushed. Great moment, though.

I don't understand why people think it's such a cheap cheesy ploy when it's honestly kinda obvious that they're being set up for a fall. Optimism almost always meets at the very least a bittersweet reality in this story.

It's cheesy, but people don't consider it's Connie who's saying this who is an idiot

REGARDING THE LAST PANEL, DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE A PLAN? 1,475 responses

Nearly 70% of you believe that Final Panel Gang have a plan, while just over 30% think they’re just gonna wing it. Get it? “Wing it”?

For more serious commentary, we’re normally used to seeing “Yes/No” questions a little more perfectly split, especially the ones that involve Eren. It’s interesting to see a more unified response, even if it means that SOMEBODY on Reddit is going to say “Nice.” about the Yes vote.

Isayama will probably do a flashback of the plan, he likes doing this sort of thing lol. It was fine.

It's fine IF the planning is shown in the following chapters, but if not then it'll feel like Isayama couldn't come up with solutions and did everything off screen just because of that.

Telling the plan to the reader only works, if the plan fails.

I feel like the pacing of the chapter was this fast so that Isayama could end with the "Avengers Assemble" scene as the big volume cliffhanger for the next one, so he tried to get through the events quickly to give it that poetic ending. In that case, it's possible Isayama might show how some of these events unfolded in the next chapter or two; he usually does that kind of thing when showing big events for the first time. If the next chapter fleshes some of the scenes from this chapter more like showing Jean discussing the Avengers' plan with Mikasa and Armin, I think that could make this chapter better when we look back on it.

WOULD YOU RATHER THIS CHAPTER HAVE BEEN SPLIT INTO TWO? 1,468 responses

Remember what I said about being accustomed to more split votes? Well, 39.5% of you said that you would prefer this chapter have been split into two, citing a lack of development, while 39.2% of you said that you’re glad Isayama is, *ahem*, moving forward with the plot. The near-perfect divisions breaks off a little bit when we consider that another ~12% said no, blaming the plots themselves for the problems with chapter, and 6% effectively voting yes, saying that the chapter should’ve been split into three.

Ask me again in a few months when we see how the whole plot wraps up and if Isayama adds any additional details via flashback.

Honestly all of these plot points could have been arcs within themselves and i wish it had been given enough time to become that

I like that the plot is progressing but i don't like the subplots being rushed

I'm happy it's going forward and not dragging on, but I would've loved more of an interaction between the scouts and annie/reiner.

One and a half

𝜋

There are various holes (lack of reaction during Annie's appearance, poor coherency of when Eren managed to speak with many people) but Isayama is giving us cool alliances, so it's half okay.

IF YOU COULD DROP A SUBPLOT, WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE? 1,463 responses

A fairly close call here, with the trip to Ragako Village being out in front with 42.6 percent of you claiming this is the subplot you would drop; Louise and Mikasa’s plot about the scarf is close behind on 36.2 percent. Perhaps readers feel the time for small subplots is done, since there’s so much still to do with the main plot we do not understand? A lot of responses indicated Mikasa’s perceived ‘cruelty’ (you’re all wrong, just so you know!) towards Louise, so perhaps this is indicative of why so many people would choose this event to be the subplot to drop.

Mikasa is just dead inside atm, but i feel bad for Louise

Mikasa knew Louise wanted that scarf, but she knew she needed it more. Plus I can barely remember Louise lol

Mikasa's behavior isn't good, but it's understandable---there are numerous mentally taxing events occurring.

Ragako stuff kinda sucked.

Goddamnit, this chapter was smelly poo. Not only we spent 3 months for nothing with that stupid Ragako plot and now everybody is holding hands just like that. If you're bringing an alliance you're not gonna make it happen offscreen with no detail whatsoever?

Ah and the Ragako subplot missed addressing the serumbowl as well: all we got is Armin whining about not being like Erwin and that's it. No Bert, no Ymir being addressed.

IF YOU COULD HAVE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT ONE SUBPLOT IN THIS CHAPTER, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? 1,466 responses

Another close one! “The Armin and Annie reunion” is the subplot the majority wished for more information about with nearly 30% selecting it. “The conversation with Hange and Magath” was second (25.2%) and “Escape from Shiganshina” (17.7%) was third.

I was just expecting Levi, Hange and the corps interaction would be more surprising. The same goes for Annie and Armin's convo.

The mikasa scarf submit definitely could’ve happened in another chapter. This was too rushed and I really hope no other chapters feel this way. This chapter should’ve just been the Tagalog subplot, and then Annie and armin reunion. Then another chapter with hange/levi, Jean/flock and how they all came together to join forces.

It's so obvious this mad lad Isayama wanted to break the tension from the Armin / Annie reunion scene. We never know where he's going to trick us, do we ?

I do think that many things were kind of glossed over to save time. I'd prefer that things slow down a bit, just so we can soak up all that context. For example, the conversation between Hange and Magath, Annie and Armin's reunion and others.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HOW EASILY THE ALLIANCES WERE FORMED? 1,474 responses

A mere 17.5% enjoyed how easily the alliances were formed. The majority (43%) called it “OK” while a more than a third of the fandom (36.2%) hated it. Some folks seem to indicate it was expected and just needed to happen quickly so the story could move along. However, the amount of people who hated it was too large to ignore; and largely for similar reasons, that it appeared too easy. Maybe the mistrust and emotion will come as the story moves along? Some of your responses indicate trouble ahead, if not behind.

Also Hanji sides too many times with "benefactors". I'm expecting the alliance to be shaky, with probably backstabbings and double-crossings. They seemed to make an agreement over killing Zeke (since no side likes him), and I doubt characters like Mikasa, Armin or Jean would be ok with killing Eren.

I don't get all the madness over the alliance, It was obvious it would happen. Also it's obvious all the things glossed this chapter will be shown in Flashback if important, like what lead Annie join them, on how Hanji contacted Jean (although i think a lot of people didn't notice the shadow in the window on that panel of Jean in the bed).

It was warm and fuzzy and I really needed that, but the actual details of the new alliance will absolutely need to be expounded upon soon.

it wouldve been better if connie's mom plot didn't exist we could've got a better build up to the alliance

Overall, things were way too rushed, as if Isayama just wanted to get to the last page. I'm expecting to see how this alliance was made in flashback form, as is typical for Isayama, but that won't fix the inherent issues of this specific chapter.

Hange getting so along with Pieck, who fought against them when Erwin was killed, was a complete joke.

I don't get all the madness over the alliance, It's was obvious it would happen. Also it's obvious all the things glossed this chapter will be shown in Flashback if important, like what lead Annie join them, on how Hanji contacted Jean (although i think a lot of people didn't noticed the shadow in the window on that panel of Jean in the bed).

I love seeing them all but oh heckin it was just a little too fast

WHICH THROWBACK DID YOU ENJOY MOST CHAPTER? 1,465 responses

“Jean remembering Marco” (31.9%) narrowly edged out “Annie kicking Reiner”(30.3%) as our favorite throwback. Levi remembering his promise was a distant third (16.2%).

That Marco’s throwback really hit me . *SOB*

I didn't like the Erwin reference when Armin tried to sacrafice himself for connies mother, instead of falco being eaten.

Armin recognized a very important thing to himself (he can't stay trying to Erwin, he suck on that, he needs to do what he is good on it, but as his own person and not shadow of Erwin)

Where was Jean at the end there? I want him to confront Annie over Marco. Poor guy had the worst death in the series. He was murder in cold blood and then it got covered up. Plus, the only person trying to solve the mystery is Jean. Bless Jean he is such a good friend

It makes sense that Connie would say that to Reiner of all people (that line come back to his childhood trauma). Fandom freaking out and fearing a cheesy happy ending is ridiculous.

I didn’t think it was cheesy at all. It circles back to Reiner’s declaration to Keith back during the training arc.

I'm kinda sick of Reiner's Kick The Dog treatment too. I know Annie hates him but still...

REGARDING HOW THE AVENGER'S MISSION AND THE ENDING WILL GO, WHICH OF THESE IS PREFERABLE/ACCEPTABLE TO YOU? 1,465 responses

Fans proving as ever, that they are a divisive bunch! However, it's clear that the smallest amount of responses favour the rumbling being stopped and world peace occuring (hippies!). Some responses indicate that this chapter made them nervous for the ending being overly optimistic, even with Eren as the apparent antagonist. Endings where Eren achieves an extreme form of Brexit (Paradexit?) with a victory over the armies of the world have a fairly even spread of positive responses, proving that he still has a lot of fans on his side. However, most of you responded in the vague sense of feeling like Isayama knows best and at this point, just seeing where this wild ride takes us.

I keep seeing this popular prediction on almost every platform: Eren destroys the world outside Paradise, goes back to Historia and her newborn kid (in this sort of prediction it is always assumed that he's the father), tells his kid (who is also thought to be reborn Ymir) "you're free" and goes on to be a good dad - End of story. Honestly the thought of this type of ending pisses me off so much. Not only because its reeks of typical shonen ending, but because it goes against all the themes and ideas that Isayama has written into the story over the years.

I would not be upset with a 'golden' ending. Some part of me wants that to happen.

It setup the shonen cliche route and can ruin the ending

It was very unusual for this manga. I hope that the author will come to the most logical ending and will not use the power of friendship.

Least exciting chapter I can remember; it has me apprehensive about the ending.

I hope Eren's conclusion will end with him winning, however I do not him accepting his morality and to be shocked at what he's done but to come to terms with what he's done.

While I'm more supportive of Eren, I'm fine with whichever side comes out on top of this as long as it doesn't involve Eren being stopped through Power of Friendship or Talk no Jutsu. That would feel too cheap.

WHICH RALLYING CRY DID YOU PREFER? 1,445 responses

While the Ragako subplot wasn’t exactly loved, Connie’s rallying cry was the fandom favorite (28.4%). Hange’s plea to Magath was a close second (26%) while Floch’s message of freedom was third (25%).

AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO YOU EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,472 responses

The pacing of this chapter and the way its implications relate to the entire manga was, if I may be so bold, one of the more talked about meta points this month, from what I’ve seen. Maybe that was the thought process behind this question. I don’t know. I didn’t write this one either. That’s a good thought process though.

Anyway, a borderline overwhelming majority of you said that the manga will end around Chapter 134 (48.4% of you). The next most common answer was Chapter 138, which would give us 12 more chapters. Chapter 130 got the least amount of votes, at 7.3%. The remaining votes went to Chapter 142+, and I appreciate that optimism, because I for one hate thinking about this question.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,475 responses

“Historia when?” (26%) tops the list followed by the long awaited Eren POV (23.5%). “Details on things glossed over this chapter” was the third pick (22.7%) followed by “Zeke, Eren and OG Ymir” (11.6%).

I can't wait to see Zeke's reaction at seeing Levi AGAIN ready to fuck him up.

Historia when?? Also, Hange needs a hug, Levi needs sleep, Armin and Annie need to talk, Falco needs to deal with his brother's death some more, and we all need Erwin to come back :(

I hope we get flashbacks to explain all this off screen development.

Isayama please for the love of god remember that Historia exists.

Where is HISTORIA

where is zeke?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,401 responses

Reddit continues to dominate this question, pulling 44.9% of the vote. “I don’t” actually takes second place this month, with Tumblr coming next, followed very closely by Twitter, which is in turn followed closely by Discord. In descending order from there, we have real life, 4chan, Youtube, a two-way tie between Instagram and Facebook, and everything else has less than 10 votes.

Before I move on though, it’s absolutely critical that I draw your attention to last month’s poll. Last month, I said, and I quote,

“Lastly, something ominous is going on in the Snapchat cult, because there were only two of you this month, down from five last month. That’s still enough to reproduce though and it makes me uneasy.“

“Why are you bringing that up?” you may be asking yourself. I’m bringing it up because Snapchat got SIX votes this time. “Why does that matter?” you ask yourself next. I’m glad you asked. That’s a 300% increase. If that rate continues, in just five month’s time, there will be more members of the Snapchat cult than the rest of you COMBINED.

That’s not to say anything more than it says, but I should add that I was totally vindicated on the Snapchat cult reproduction theory. Having done the math, you guys DEFINITELY scare me more than the people who liked “Pieck Finger”.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 375 responses

Remember kids, the world is currently supposed to be ending

I know most people hated how rushed it felt, but honestly, I'm glad this wasn't split into 2 months. This leaves more time for the conclusion, and would much rather the alliances be rushed rather than the ending.

While it's certainly sad that Louise may not be long for this world, I also don't think Mikasa owes her anything. Mikasa seems to see a lot of traits she dislikes about herself cranked up to 11 in Louise, and I think it's understandable to need to distance oneself from toxic ideas or people. Mikasa and Louise were never friends, they never really knew each other, and never really cared about each other. Sure, Louise idolized an idea of Mikasa, but she put herself as separate from the real Mikasa, lesser. These two strangers never had a real chance to truly know each other, and that's okay, sad but okay.

While the panel of Annie with a face stuffed with pie is a gem, I think it seemed almost too good a coincidence. Both parties (Armin, Connie and the kids and Hitch & Annie) happen to be taking a break from their travels at the same time in the same city at the same festival. Seemed a bit too lucky.

Isayama has a bias against the yeagerists too. Portraying them as mindless dumbasses that are evil for no reason. Look at Floch everytime he has a moment it gets cut short for a "oh look at this dumbass" type of conclusion like him missing the shot at Shadis and getting duped by Jean and the 104th.

my dumb shipper’s heart wants Pieck’s reaction to Porco’s death.

this chapter felt too 'super hero movie' to me, in the sense that it was way too optimistic and cheesy, nothing like the Attack on Titan I know and love. Isayama's been watching too much Marvel.

A rushed chapter, Isayama may have messed up some timelines (e.g. Louise's talk with Eren, the changes in day and night), maybe Isayama was too focused on SAUNA SAUNA SAUNA when he was drawing the chapter but anyway, if the chapter was rushed because he wants to move to next plots (eee....east...eeeek...Ki....), I'm fine with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter Would've been terrific if it weren't for the rushed forced alliance. Mikasa's character also seemed out of place this chapter.

is not a bad chapter but at the same time is not a godly chapter like others but i have faith on isayama that he will blow our minds

Felt very disappointed and it is as if this story is moving to black and white territory again.

Good fast development, optimistic that what was glossed over will be addressed. A bit antsy that this is a setup for some tragedy but I don’t expect total senseless ruin for the characters.

I don't really see where all the complaints are coming from, to me the chapter must be one of my all time favorites ever since I've started reading the manga at the regular monthly pace. I think the build up and the tension have been steadily increasing slowly enough up to this point, and now we've finally reached the top of the roller coaster tracks, and it's time for the ride to the conclusion. I loved the mysterious plan, it reminds me of the uprising arc (ah the good old times).

I hope the author just got a bit lost and had to put things back on track quickly. I want to feel for these characters, not find out that I followed their struggles for chapters to see them dissolve for the sake of the plot.

Eren has suffered a lot over the years and a lot of things have been TAKEN from him - but do you remember "In order to achieve something, you have to give up something important"? I don't think Eren has ever GIVEN up something of his. He's always been a little maniac intent on killing the enemy (which is what he is doing right now). There have been so many characters in the story that have given up their dreams and finally their lives, why is Eren the one that gets to have his cake and eat it too?

I love it cause we need some time of just relax and be happy before the sad ending

I’m hoping the next chapter will make this one better by fleshing things out. Also seeing Annie and Reiner reunite made me deeply miss Bertolt this month.

JE VEUX PAS QUE CE MANGA FINISSE OMG

Reiner getting kicked in the face to wake up and understanding nothing is all of us

The more things don't seem to add up, the more you have to pay attention, that's what I learnt reading this series. And a whole lot didn't seem to add up in this chapter so I'm super hyped!

This is easily one of the weakest chapters Isayama has ever written. After creating all of these subplots that we were expecting to go somewhere and hold emotional weight for the characters were written off into cheap one-liners, off screen reactions and discussion, and just overall completely weak subplots that left us with no emotional payoff.

Boii I'm glad the development on the characters matters only when its relevant to the plot, I almost forget that I used to like them. If Reiner of all people doesn't point out how creepy and disgusting it all is I don't know what to say, what a waste of time of a series.

Connie mentioning Sasha made me cry! Actually makes me wish Eren pulls some time travel shit so that we can have our girl back.

Can I just say I find it funny, and I really love Pieck regardless, it is just a last name after all.

Good, but the former-enemy to friendly-pie-eating turnover rate was wayyyyy too fast!

I thought this chapter was it for Connie, who has been one of my favorites since the beginning. It was a bit sudden but I'm glad him not feeding Falco to his mom is Canon AND that it strengthened his bond with Armin.

It feels like none of the Jeagerists really see clearly what the situation is, or at least don't have an ounce of understanding or sympathy why everyone else is scared and freaked out by what has happened. That in turn makes it harder for non-Jeagerists to act with sympathy, what a vicious cycle.

What bothers me the most is not the way Mikasa interacted with Louise, but the fact that she wanted the scarf back. On a symbolic level, she left it behind a few chapters ago, which meant that she no longer put Eren first and started thinking about herself. She recognized that her bond with Eren was severed. So why take that scarf back now, when it's not supposed to have that much importance anymore?

I can see either the next chapter or the one after showing a flashback of Jean, Armin, and Mikasa discussing that plan. Cutting some parts of a scene and showing it in the following chapter or two is usually an Isayama thing to do.

I don't know why everyone's expecting every single piece of exposition to be laid out for them like meeting minutes. This isn't the first time we've understood what's been going on behind the scenes after the fact.

At the start Connie struggles to hold his emotions, and suddenly he's a hero, cheesy and cliche

Excuse me but can we stop making Gabi involved in everything? Shes so OP at this point

I loved the mockery of the cliche superhero assemble bullshit

STARDUST CRUSADERS

The cringe made me develop a permanent seizure. Also both my eyeballs are still stuck in the back of my head because of the excessive force I used trying to roll my eyes.

The team-up should have been given more time to develop. It wasn’t all bad though.

X-Men on their way to stop Magneto (Eren)

The problem does not lie so much in the pace as in the script tension, which Isayama killed a little in this chapter but intentionally I think. I mean the guys are literally sleeping and eating like it was a party during the freaking end of the world, do you really think he would have let such a thing slip out of clumsiness?

I'm pretty sure that Levi will have the role of "Helos", and Hange his 'Tybur' collaborator, because she's holding a hammer like the guy/girl next to Helos during the play (ch99).

Not the usual quality.

8/10. I liked annie's reunion the best, but wish that hitch had more characterization and wasn't written out so quickly. Ragako subplot was fine but predictable. Louise subplot kinda boring. Avengers assemble at the end was very anime and I liked it.

A peaceful chapter before the storm

A thought: What if Ackermans are the only ones able to actually kill off the Nine Titans? We know they’re byproducts of titan science, maybe they were created to annihilate them? That’d be devastating to see Levi or Mikasa kill Eren and Armin. I’d love it. 😂

Annie is the best girl

Anyone pretending this chapter wasn't utter shit is in hardcore denial.

Did not like the assemble. Nobody can forget what happened in the recent past of Paradis and what the warriors did. But have hope in Isayama

Do Gabi and Falco know that Armin is the Collosal Titan? I thought Connie might let that slip to them and it might create tension between Gabi and Armin but.... No. Everything about that subplot was insanely rushed, there were a lot of ways it could have played out.

Aforementioned last page quote that is so unlike SnK up to this point. Cringey and straight out of an Avengers movie, I can't believe there are people who actually like this development.

I hope Isayama isn't overworking and rushing himself to finish the manga just for the sake of finishing it this year, but I still believe he will finish SnK in a satisfactory manner that will be memorable for decades. However, this chapter as well as 125 were very disappointing and lowered my expectations considering how good the entire final arc had been up to this point.

Errrwiiiiiiiinnnn!!!!!

game of thrones level of trash, i hope for god that the aot ending isn't as bad as final season game of thrones

I didn’t like the Ragako subplot, but I did like Connie saving Armin and their heart-to/heart afterwards.

I don’t think the chapter was rushed. Glad to see Armin finally doing SOMETHING, and I hope it was more a gamble than him wanting to die. Hange’s monologue was so out of character, everyone knows Hange would never want to live in the woods, yet it looks like Hange always gets discouraged and needs encouragement from somebody else. Seriously, that’s not the Hange we all know. Where’s the ‘defeat is all the Survey Corps ever knew, let’s kick asses!!’ Hange?? that interaction with Pieck brought some of it back thankfully

I don’t understand why everyone is complaining lol

I enjoyed how quickly it moved. We’ve been down in the doldrums since December, so I’m glad to see the characters & the pace picking back up again.

I hate how quickly Hanji becomes depressed. Armin, Jean - they overcame their doubts by themselves. Yet Hanji always needs someone else to tell them to stop being ridiculous. It’s like Levi is babysitting Hanji :/ I miss good, old, badass Hanji

I miss hitch already

I noticed that the way Floch gesticulates during his speech was very reminiscent of how Hitler gave his speeches

I really like Hanji and Levi’s friendship and how Levi always knows what to say to encourage his friends but can we please stop with Hanji being so emotionally weak? I love Hanji, but c’mon- Levi was seriously injured and still needs to treat Hanji like she’s a wounded kid. Jean came to his senses on his own, same for Armin and Mikasa. All they needed was to remember people who died, did Hanji not lose enough comrades to find her strength from? Hanji is one of two veterans left and the commander(!), it really hurts to see her so pathetic, that was hard to read. Glad she looks more like old Hanji at the end of the chapter

I wanted more Annie and Hitch adventures and feel deprived.

i wish there was more to the reunion of Annie & co, but whatever, let’s just move on with this plot.

I'm in the minority here, but I actually liked the chapter. Sure the pacing was a bit off, but this may be because we're getting a detailed explanation for it in an upcoming chapter. Other than that I find it somewhat amusing that so many people that a team-up wasn't happening. Like there was so much goddamned FORESHADOWING about it. Plus the fact that Isayama basically flat-out admitted that he was going to create a team-up a-la Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not expecting roses and fluffiness at the end of the road, I see a lot of people dying. And I still don't know who's gonna be the victor at the end. It just seemed really clear to me where these character arcs were/are heading. I still have faith in Yams. He hasn't disappointed me yet, so let's just see what he has in store for us.

It feels like Isayama is rushing to finish it off just like Kishimoto did with Naruto Shippuuden and that makes me very sad. I'm worried he'll destroy everything he did until now.

It felt incredibly unrealistic. What I have appreciated most about SnK is its narrative integrity and ability to produce results proportional to the protagonists' abilities. Currently, this feels rather forced. When did they come up with these plans? How could they possibly have alerted Jean ahead of time without anything being shown? It feels like a cheat. Also, I don't like that its just them going after Eren. Realistically, in SnK, a small group of characters, even with their level of power, shouldn't consider going after him how they have. If anything they need to face reality and prepare for the world to come after the rumbling, since if I think anybody in their position would think it is utterly impossible to stop it.

It was warm and fuzzy and I really needed that, but the actual details of the new alliance will absolutely need to be expounded upon soon.

It was...fine.

It wasn’t so bad, the hate is really annoying.

It's clear SNK is ending soon so before we see Eren and what else is going on with the rumbling Hisayama wants to close plots with other characters BUT IMO the price of this is giving us less hyped chapters since the walls broke and we still have to see the new Eren titan form…

Just to clarify, "Which throwback did you enjoy most chapter" is intended to be an English sentence, yes? Quality work here as usual, tumblr/reddit big-shots. I hope no one lets you guys near an actual workplace where what you do matters. (A/N: Well you didn't capitalise Tumblr or Reddit so who is the real villain here?)

Let Levi kill that ape. Please. He’s gone through so much and lost everything. Give him just this one little thing

Let's say we generally agreed that this chapter is bad.

Not nearly as bad as people say it was like Jesus heck calm down. I mostly feel bad for isayama tbh he’s probably being pressured to wrap it up and he’s not usually one to not give moments like this chapter proper time.

It's hard to say why Isayama decided to wrap up things fairly quickly, whether he has later flashbacks planned or whether he was overwhelmed with time pressure/suffered a writer's block of whatever. I think, in the end, if the rest of the story wraps up strong, it doesn't matter much.

I'm happy with what happened in this chapter, except the fact that it was rushed and Levi's plot armor, I mean Ackermann blood. He should have lost at least a leg...

The only solace I take in all of this is that the plot can finally move forward. This has been an entire volume of seemingly pointless side quests and I'm ready to focus again on the main story. Frankly, I'm exhausted. I just want answers and I want to know how the story finds resolution.

We had several excellent chapters recently, a subpar one is understandable. Hopefully the Anime will expand on it a bit

#snk poll #snk polls #snk 126 #snk chapter 126 #snk poll results

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missjackil · 5 years ago

Text

My 15x5 Opinion

Proverbs 17:3

Ok this episode was pretty twisted. I had thought it would be a light MOTW but again I was wrong. Much I liked much that disturbed me, and one thing I just hated. So let's have a look, shall we?

The beginning was great with the ghost pepper beef jerky! I laughed through the whole thing! That was some great sibling interaction and I wonder if Jensen was really eating something spicy, not ghost pepper spicy or he would have been down for the count for the rest of the day, but hot enough that he could convincingly show pain. I loved when he was pretending it didn't burn and said “good flavor!” because everyone who is too cool to admit it’s too hot does that LOL

When he burst out laughing, i think it was probably Jensen, but it worked so well because we will often burst out laughing when we realize we made a stupid mistake. Then we have Sam hehehe here's some karma from the bacon last week sucker! Teasing Dean like a real little brother, with the bottled water, but in true Sam fashion, he showed mercy and didnt hold out too long, just long enough to be a little shit lol

When Dean spit it across the table, I died! That was as good as Sam’s spitting out the bacon!

So we move on and theyre both adorable as fish and wildlife with their puffy vests and baseball caps. Soon they meet up with these brothers who were even more bromantic than they are! “This is too easy” Says Sam and of course hes right. Then enter dumb blonde chick and work it so somehow she has to spend the night with the Winchesters. “Can you stay with me, please? Just till I fall asleep?” seriously?😐

Now, the episode becomes really weird and IMO poorly written and it made me wonder if someone else wrote this portion for whatever reason because it was really bad compared to the rest of the episode. Blonde chick makes sure she shows Dean she has sleeping pills, Deam comments on them just in case anyone in the audience missed that there are heavy sleeping pills which actually ended up being irrelevant. Even though Dean fell asleep. he didn't take any pills, and it added nothing to the story. Anyway, wolf bros came and kidnapped the blonde chick.

The boys find them, a big fight occurs, the wolf bros have a murder/suicide trope because they're both monsters and we have to compare them to Sam and Dean. Now I will hand it to them that I liked the twist, I didn't see it coming and I was shocked it was Lilith, but, her acting and dialogue really SUCKED! She “blah blah blahed” her way through how God had her rescued from the Empty when they should have filled it with words explaining how God could spring her when he has no power in the empty? I will withhold judgment for a bit to see if Jack was part of how she got out, but if he wasnt then BOOOOOOOOO on the canon ball drop.

But enough of the crap, I want to talk about the disturbing parts. Of course, they are Sam’s visions. Jared’s Lucifer is the 100% BEST Lucifer without question. This is a beautiful and terrifying Lucifer and not a sniveling little brat that Mark P turned him into. This scene messed me up. To start with Dean aiming the gun to Sammifer’s head and saying “Please forgive me” hurt me, as if Dean would still love Sam even if he was Satan himself. The headshot was brutal, something I NEVER want to see happening to either of my boys “for real” on the show. We know, however, that the Colt doesn't kill Archangels so Sammifer heals and without even looking at Dean, he sets him on fire. Now, Sam has gotten this look in every wincest fan fic I've written or is still in my head, but is always because Dean is stroking his hair, or kissing his neck.... so Sam making this gesture as his brother burns up behind him, just bad touches me in the feels. like WHY SHOW WHYYYYYY YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!

Then we get Demon!Dean killing Sam with the First Blade. Literally pinning Sam against the wall and “boning” him. Im not saying this was sexy, it was sad and brutal, but holy SMOKES with the subtext and symbolism guys!! Nothing subtle at all!

I liked this episode quite a bit except for the terrible contents of the Lilith scenes so its losing points on that. I am very glad to know that now that Sam knows its not PTSD, that he didnt try to hide it from Dean. These boys have come a long way!

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, I give this episode a 6.5. it would have gotten an 8 if the Lilith stuff was done better. Thus far I am quite pleased with this season!

#Season 15 spoilers #15x05 spoilers #SPN #Sam and Dean #my opinion

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leelee10898 · 5 years ago

Text

The Flame

This is a little drabble I threw together, not able to sleep, listening to sappy music. This little Gem came on and well, this was born. I decided to save it for the RoDAW, so here is my submission [1 of them anyway] for Colt day!!!!!

Pairing: Colt x Ellie

If you have never heard this song, its and oldie but goodie..

Colt and Ellie sat in the parking lot of the in and out. A moment alone, out of the prying eyes of the crew, it was a rare moment, but Colt savored them nonetheless. "Are you excited for college?" Colt broke the silence. "I was." She turned away, taking a long sip of her soda.

"What's that mean?"

Ellie didn't answer, she fiddled with the radio avoiding the question. "Ellie. Whats that mean?" He asked again.

"Oh! I love this song. My parents used to listen to it." She grinned as she turned the dial up.

Another night slowly closes in

And I feel so lonely

Touching heat freezing on my skin

I pretend you still hold me

I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep

I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you

I can't believe you're gone

You were the first, you'll be the last

"Ellie? You can ignore the question all you want, but you know damn well I'm gonna keep asking it." She knew he would, but she didnt want to ruin their night. "Did your parents listen to anything that you remember?"

Watching shadows move across the wall

I feel so frightened

I wanna run to you, I wanna call

But I've been hit by lightning

Just can't stand up for fallin' apart

Can't see through this veil across my heart, over you

You'll always be the one

You were the first, you'll be the last

"Sure, plenty. Now stop avoiding the question. Why did you say, I was?" Colt was persistent, he knew if he kept pressing she would cave.

Ellie sighed "ok. Fine. I was excited, before I met the crew. Now i'm not so sure if I want to go."

Colt cocked his brow "The crew huh? Everyone or.."

I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep

I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you

You'll always be the one

You were the first, you'll be the last

"You, Colt. I am afraid to leave and lose this. I love you Colt." Her hand flew up yo cover her mouth, she was so caught up in the moment she let it slip out.

Colt sat there silent, heart hammering in his chest, her words replaying in his mind. She just told him she loved him, how did he get so lucky? A girl like Ellie Wheeler, to fall in love with a no good criminal.

Colt opened his mouth, and in perfect harmony he sang the lyrics to the song playing on the radio.

"Wherever you go, I'll be with you Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. Whenever you need someone. To lay your heart and head upon. Remember, after the fire, after all the rain. I will be the flame. I will be the flame"

Ellie closed her eyes, his velvety voice a sound she wanted to hear more of. He did know the song.

"You will never lose me Ellie. Those song lyrics are true. I love you Ellie Wheeler, I will always be the flame."

@kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater @blackcatkita @darley1101 @hazah @desiree-0816

ROD

@daniv2278 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @going-down-downtown @mercyparkcrew @emichelle @annekebbphotography @walkerismychoice @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @zaira-oh-zaira @sweetest-marbear

@simsvetements @zaffrenotes @professorortegasstudent

@akrenich @ifyouseekheart @client-327 @choicelogansbitch @choicesarehard @paisleylovergirl @itskismetbb @itsmarleen

@rhisfanficsnstories @distinguishedsaladoperawinner @iplaydrake @coffeebeandragon @jasidu2 @charliezchan

@umiumichan @sarwin85 @skdskdskdskdskdsk @liamzigmichael4ever

@littlemissimaginativerhi

@sumbarbietingz

#choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #choices ride or die #leelee10898 fan fic #colt x ellie #rod colt #ellie wheeler #RoDAW #rodaw

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pixelburied · 6 years ago

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Take A Chance On Me (Part 5)

A/N: This is the fifth and last part of Take A Chance On Me. Thank you all for sticking with me! I hope you enjoyed reading this series as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Warning: lots of kissing

As soon as Tala stepped into the garage the next day, she and Colt made an excuse to duck into a small side room.

She pushed him against the nearest wall the second the door closed behind them, eager to continue where they left off the night before.

Their lips locked - "Maybe-"

And danced against one another's- "-we should-"

Leaving little room for words. "-tell the crew."

Tala pulled away with a groan. "Really, Colt? You're choosing to be chatty now?"

Colt smiled playfully at Tala, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, as she glared up at him.

"You're very enthusiastic for someone who just had her first kiss yester-"

She covered Colt's mouth with a hand and he laughed against her palm. "I told you not to say anything-"

He slid an arm around her waist and spun her, gently switching their places, before he recaptured her lips with his.

Tala was pissed that he was still teasing her but she didn't have time to dwell on it as Colt bit her bottom lip. She fought back the sound caught in her throat, not wanting to give him the satisfaction, and stood on her toes to meet his intensity.

One of Colt's hands found its way into her hair, the other on the small of her back. She was pushing the jacket off his shoulders when the door burst open, flooding the room with light.

They scrambled apart like a couple of frightened cats.

Colt dropped a set of keys to the floor and made a show of picking them up in front of Mona who was standing by the door.

"Right." He cleared his throat. "Thank you for, uh, helping me find my keys, Tala."

He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder, not making eye contact, as Tala straightened her skirt.

"Of course. No problem. Glad we found your, um, keys."

"Must have been some really small keys if it took the two of you this long," Mona rolled her eyes.

Colt choked and Tala felt her cheeks burn.

With a smirk, Mona gestured out the door with her head. "Kaneko's called for a meeting.”

They both trailed behind Mona on the way out, their hands grazing each other's.

"Keys? Really?" Tala turned to Colt with a low voice, trying to stifle her laughter.

He shrugged and laced his fingers with hers. He gave her hand a squeeze before walking away towards the other end of the garage to stand next to Kaneko.

"You okay, Tala?" Tala found a spot on a bench next to Logan just as Kaneko began to talk.

"Huh? Yeah, I-" She was suddenly aware of how messy her hair had become and frantically tried to push it back in place. Kaneko stopped talking as Tala's frantic gestures caught his attention and Colt was clearly trying to fight a smile from behind his dad.

Jerk.

Tala blushed as her eyes met Colt's and they both looked away to avoid suspicion.

Kaneko continued on, quickly discussing the hand off of the stolen ten-million-dollar cars to The Brotherhood. Tala tried to look focused, shaping her face into a stern gaze but her eyes kept wandering to Colt.

After everything had been discussed - or at least as much as Kaneko was willing to disclose - they had dinner in the back room. The rest of the crew then went their separate ways for the night to work on their own projects, leaving Tala and Logan with the dishes.

"Hey, thanks for helping me out." Logan nudged her shoulders with his as he scrubbed a plate with a sponge.

"No problem, it's always fun to spend time with you." And it really was, Tala realized.

She had come to think of him as a good friend. Her life would still be incredibly mundane if she hadn’t met him and she was grateful for that, but she also knew she had something that needed to be said.

"Listen, Logan-"

He stopped scrubbing and stiffened beside her. When he didn't say anything, Tala decided to continue.

"Colt and I, we're-"

We're what? Tala panicked.

She and Colt hadn't talked about it yet. Their lips were too busy doing something else.

And now that she was about to say it out loud, she realized she had no idea what she and Colt were, exactly. Or even, if they were anything at all.

"We-" Her hands shook a little.

"It's okay, Tala." Logan dried off his hand and lightly thumped Tala's shoulder with a fist. "I know."

"What?" She turned to him, eyes wide.

He shrugged and gave her a thin smile. "I think I knew the moment I saw you two talking at the sideshow."

The sideshow? That was the first time Tala met Colt. If she was being honest, she had wanted to punch the smug grin off his face since the second he spoke to her.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, just-" He shook his head and turned back to the dishes. "A hunch, I guess."

She noticed a shadow pass over his features but she was still too confused to ask more questions.

He nudged her shoulders again as if to say it's alright.

A moment later, Colt popped his head through the door to call out to her. "Hey, Tala. Let me drive you home."

She turned to Logan and he gave her a smile and a nod.

He gave Colt the same quick acknowledgement but without the same warmth as he watched them head out into the garage.

They took Tala's car but she insisted Colt drove.

Her head was still spinning with questions and she wasn't sure she could focus on the road - not when there were a thousand words left unsaid from the night before.

Colt seemed to sense her tension and he reached out to give her hand a squeeze. "Why don't we go get drinks?"

They picked up a couple of shakes from Star's and Tala had to fight through a stutter as she placed their orders. She kept remembering the day they made the stupid bet and Colt was obviously thinking the same thing, wrapping an arm around her waist when he caught her sneaking a glance at the table they sat in the week before.

They parked by a scenic overlook with a decent view of the city. Colt helped her perch herself on top of the hood of the car before handing her a milkshake.

"Good?" He watched her take a sip as he settled next to her.

Tala nodded but she couldn't really taste her drink as her mind raced.

She took a deep breath and braced herself against the car. "Colt, we need to talk."

She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for his response, but when it didn't come, she turned and found him watching her, waiting for her to speak.

"Last night was-"

"Yeah."

"But your dad, Kaneko, he-"

"I know."

"And my dad, he-"

"I know."

Tala felt like she was pushing boulders up her throat. Every word was heavier than the last.

But really, she didn't need to say anything. She could tell Colt had been thinking about it too. This close, she could see the faint dark circles under his eyes, proof that he might have stayed up all night just like her.

They kept quiet for a few minutes, looking out over the city lights.

Tala pretended they were stars. She desperately wanted them to be. If there was ever a night when she needed to make a wish, this was it.

"You know, my mom-" Colt broke the silence, a little unsure. "She left my Pop so I can have a better life. She used to be a driver for the crew but she left it all behind. And my Pop really isn't happy that I came back anyway."

He gave a bitter laugh as he fiddled with his cup.

"Your parents loved each other. But they loved you more and wanted what was best for you."

"Maybe."

Tala watched as Colt considered his next words.

He put his drink down and turned to her, jaws set and a dark look in his eyes.

"What if some things are doomed from the start?"

She understood what he meant and her stomach dropped at the words.

"We're not our parents."

"Aren't we? We've known each other- what? Two weeks? How can we be sure?"

They couldn't.

Tala knew they were barreling down a similar path, two people with diverging fates. As much as they were alike, she could enumerate far more things that set them apart.

Her mind whirled, scanning for an answer, and before she knew it, she was rambling - "Ok, psychologically speaking, the chances of us-" She winced at the word. She wasn't sure if Colt was comfortable using it but she soldiered on. "Us working out, are heavily influenced by learned behaviors we picked up from our parents. But-"

Tala was aware she was grasping at straws but damn her if she didn't put her AP psych classes to good use when she needed it most.

When she'd finished her speech, she covered her face and groaned into her hands before looking up at Colt.

She fully expected him to make fun of her but instead, he was listening to her intently.

He had a smile on his face but he didn't laugh.

"Sorry, I kind of nerded out for a second."

"Don't be." He shrugged and lay down on top of the car. "I like that you're smart."

He was looking up at the sky but Tala swore she could see a hint of a blush at the tip of his ears.

Tala smirked as she propped herself over him by her arm.

"What else do you like about me?"

He laughed and sat up, pulling Tala closer to him by her waist. "Are you just fishing for compliments now, Tala?"

She rolled her eyes and closed the gap between them with a kiss, holding on to his jacket for support.

He kissed her back softly at first, pulling back a little to give her a chance to reconsider. Slowly, what little restraint they had melted away as Tala pulled Colt up to his feet to stand in front of her. He kept her steady on the hood of the car, one of his hands on her lower back and the other pulling her close.

Tala's mind reeled with every kiss. She nearly forgot what they had been talking about until an idea popped into her head.

"What?" Colt raised an eyebrow as Tala pulled away, a wicked glint in her eyes.

"I bet..." She leaned back in for another kiss, half whispering. "We can make it work."

She could feel him smiling against her. The soft flutter of his lashes tickled her cheek.

"Those are very poor odds, Tala." His voice came out hoarse when he spoke.

"You don't seem like the type to quit because of poor odds." She met his eyes with a challenge.

"I'd have to be an idiot to take that bet."

"Perfectly on brand for you then." She smirked.

He laughed before placing a quick kiss under her jaw and burying his face into the crook of her neck.

He stayed there for a few seconds and Tala could feel the rise and fall of his chest against her. Her own chest was threatening to explode as her heart hammered louder with each passing second.

It was barely a minute but she felt an eternity pass in the quiet.

Tala knew whatever they decided on tonight won't change what awaited them tomorrow.

Being with Colt was going to be risky. But she wanted to take a chance on him. On this. On them.

As long as he was willing to stand right next to her.

When Colt finally pulled away to face Tala, his eyes were warm and gentle but his expression held the resolve of a man about to go to battle.

"Alright, Tala. You've got yourself a bet."

Tags: @alegria1580 @itsbrindleybinch @frugalchoicer @brightpinkpeppercorn @orpheus-make-your-choice @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @allykrane @explorer-of-gems @deimosensblog @cordonianwaltz @pixieferry @emomoustache @kendrasgue @awkwardalbatros @jasieschoices @mistersinclaire @client-327 @aworldoffandoms @rachelsrothh @teenytinymagician @zaffrenotes @fairydustandsarcasm @fluffywhitehair @eileendannie @schizhoephrenic @thecordoniandiaries

#colt kaneko #colt x mc #playchoices #long post #long fic #TACOM fic

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violadiaries · 5 years ago

Text

Surviving in this dark world Ch. 1

Pursuing a lead

-.-.-.-.-

“Gah! Please, n-no more, please! They snuck someone in, please just stop!!”

The recording rang through the room, screams of terror and pain, mixed with words. Takumi sat at his desk looking at the little device placed before him while Isami leaned against it next to his brother. Cries for mercy where most of the things heard through the recording, but some rather useful information slipped out in between. The older Aldini’s eyes where focused on the recorder, lips drawing a thin line, arms popped up in his elbows, hands together. His head rested on his hands, listening to the recording until the end. After the recording went dead with a chuckle being heard from Isami, the blonde leaned back looking at his brother. Isami smiled at Takumi, knowing his brother was not really focused on him. His eyes were too distant, not focused on anything in particular.

Then after a moment they focused on Isami’s for a short while before going up to the ceiling of the room.

‘What do you think?’

Unspoken but clear hung the question in the room.

“I don’t really know, but I have a…speculation. Something not really adding up. I could be wrong, though,” the brunette said.

‘I just need your yes.’

He looked out of the window behind his brother, could practically hear the other think. He would give him a minute or two.

It was late already, he must have been longer going over the recording than anticipated. Well and of course he had let his thoughts roam for a while. The sun was already going down, tinting the room in a beautiful orange, and the sky in a blood red. Some would say it is romantic, for Isami though it was when his sensed would awaken even more. He loved the night, the darkness, where he could hide and strike from the shadows.

“We should wait, I think.”

Takumi’s voice rang cold through the room. A slight strain was to it, and it dipped a little bit lower than usual. Isami’s eyes were drawn to his twin again.

‘Did you test it?’

The brunette’s smiled got a bit more genuine as he nodded. “Well if you think so. I do as you say, brother.”

‘He fell for it.’

Takumi’s eyes locked with his as a small smile formed on his lips.

“Don’t talk like that, little brother. It’s not like I command over you. Both of us are equals and you know it,” he said.

‘Do it then. I trust you.’

The sound was a bit lighter, a bit higher, more like his normal self.

Isami nodded slightly and chuckled. “But I work so much better with your instruction.”

Takumi’s smile grew a bit wider, fonder as he rolled his eyes. He punched his brother’s arm lightly and got up from the chair he was sitting in. Takumi stretched himself a bit and turned around to look at the sundown.

“Mio dio, I’m sore…,” he sighed.

Isami nudged his brother grinning. “Well let’s hope you don’t grow onto your chair. Would be a shame.”

Again the older one rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless not saying anything. He was content with watching the sun vanishing for a moment. A peaceful moment. Both of them quiet, next to each other, just how Takumi always wants it. They came to Japan to clear up the murder on their father, uncle and grandmother. Information had led them here, so they pursued it. Peace was something that wasn’t common for neither of the brothers anymore. Spring was nearing its end, the air growing warmer each day. Trapped in their suits it would get really uncomfortable soon, but it couldn’t be helped. They had to keep up appearances.

To the outside the Aldini family was part of the business world, Isami was hardly known to anyone which made his job easier to carry out. Takumi was on the front, making sure their men remained loyal and their foes stayed away. Isami’s job was it to get whatever information his brother needed out of whoever might have it, deliver it to him and make sure that no-one ever lays a hand on the blonde. Isami was trained to protect Takumi with his life and would never stop doing so.

“Looking at the world like this is so…peaceful…beautiful,” Takumi said.

His voice was slightly breathy and Isami looked at him concerned. The was a longing in his eyes, sadness. The brunette leaned slightly against him placing his arms around the shorter male.

“It is…and we should be grateful that there are moments, when we can indulge in it.”

The blonde ruffled his hair slightly and nudged him again.

“Come on let’s get something to eat.”

Isami nodded and pulled his arms back, going over to the door. Takumi joined him at the door as Isami looked back.

“Hey, Nii-chan. You go already, I’m catching up to you in a second, ok?” he said sweetly smiling.

The blonde just nodded slightly confused and left the room, making his way to the kitchen of the big mansion. Isami went back to the window looking outside, opening it. His eyes were locked into the tree nearest the window. Slowly he took out the gun he always stored in Takumi’s desk drawer. A simple Colt M1911. He had stored some of these everywhere in secret hiding spots around the mansion, should for whatever reason he one time be taken by surprise. Still smiling the half-Italian aimed at the tree waiting for a bit.

The shot was loud and clearly audible. Takumi would be worried now, would ask him later what was wrong. Isami saw some birds flying out of the tree, scared by the bullet he fired. Sighing he put the gun away and closed the window. His smile grew darker as he looked at the tree for one more time before leaving the room. Slowly he strolled down the corridor to join his brother.

It had stricken him weird first when a new face stood before him, but that wasn’t enough reason for suspicion. Maybe he had been to wrapped up in other things to be informed. This was obviously not a real reason, but the possibility was there. But sometimes when you play a part you are too engulfed in it to notice possible mistakes. Sometimes you just want play your role too perfect, not seeing your own mistakes. Every Japanese he had encountered so far had eyed him confused when he had held out his hand in greeting. At home it was pretty much normal, here not, he knew that. Normally he would soon after pretend to see his mistake, apologize and bow slightly like it was custom in Japan. He had reached for his hand immediately and shaken it. The held eye contact had been interesting to watch for him as well. It was like he wanted to tip him off and at the same time didn’t even notice that he was doing it. Now he just needed to wait, to draw him out. He seemed like he wanted to get his work done fast.

Arriving at the dining room Takumi already eyed him worried. His foot was tapping on the ground, his body in constant motion. His arms were crossed in front of his chest his mouth drawn to a frown. Isami shook his head slightly. He shouldn’t do that with Takumi. Takumi is his brother. Isami would know him from an imposter even without looking.

“What did you shoot at? You startled everyone.”

The blonde had moved to stand in front of his younger brother. He was disapproving

“Nothing really, I thought there was something, but my eyes must have played a trick on me,” Isami said.

Takumi raised an eyebrow, his frown deepening.

“Isami…”

His voice was low, demanding. Isami wanted to flinch, draw back, get out of his way, as his smiled stiffened. While he may have the higher count, Takumi was always good at making clear that he indeed was the older one, that he was in charge. Normally everyone regarded Isami as the creepy one, always smiling, always happy and laughing or chuckling at something, even while pointing a gun at someone of torturing them into submission. Everyone knew that something was seriously wrong when the brunette didn’t carry his signature smile on his lips, just like everyone knew when to avoid Takumi.

When his voice dipped low, and his lips where either drawn into a thin line or a scowl. Whenever he became quiet, and serious. When his eyes where trained on you only, locking you in place.

Isami knew himself not to make his brother angry, wouldn’t say he feared him, but whenever his brother looked at him like that it sent a shiver down his spine. At the same time, it reminded him of his childhood, when their mama would scold him for doing something wrong or not listening to her.

The brunette sighed in defeat and looked away. “I guess whatever it was now knows I’m aware of it…and is either dead or scared shitless.”

Takumi sighed and shook his head.

“By the way when did we get new soldiers?” Isami tried to change the subject.

The feeling in the air got lighter again, making it easier for Isami to breath. While it didn’t show often his brother sure knew how to be scary himself. The blonde retreated a bit and leaned against the table, eyes still trained on his younger brother. Isami’s smile relaxed as he looked back at him. He was more confused now before looking away.

“A while back. I thought you were informed?”

The younger one just shook his and sitting down at the table, stretching his legs underneath it.

“I met one of them, the one you send to get me. Uh…Mimasaka? Yeah I think his name was Mimasaka,” he added.

So he was indeed not informed about it, even though Takumi had given the order. Something intervened with it, to make him unaware. He was already here for a while, had already made his plans and wanted to execute them now. It was inevitable go not be noticed by Takumi, he knew that much, but Isami was often out collection information, doing the very same job their guest was doing now. He had managed to avoid Isami until it became completely necessary to meet him. He had been aware of the younger Aldini the whole time, but just how much did he know? Another question was, what was his end goal? Just information or more. And who was his target? Takumi, most likely. That didn’t mean he could drop his guard, quiet to contrary. He had to be more on his guard. The younger one hated it when he had to shadow his older brother, but now it would become a necessity.

“Isami.”

The brunette looked up and blinked at Takumi who was now seated in front of him, a find smile on his lips.

“You’re thinking too much again. Snitch or whatever, don’t forget I can take care of myself,” he said.

A proud expression stood on his face. Isami sighed looking down again.

“But you shouldn’t have to. I have been trained to lay my life on the line for you, to protect you with everything and to not let anyone- “– “Isami! Could you for once stop talking like you are beneath me?”

The blonde’s expression had changed in an instant to serious again.

“For the last time today, we are equals! I know how we were raised but I don’t care. Just because I’m a few minutes older than you, I am not better than you. Understood?”

Isami nodded avoiding his brother’s gaze. It was a reoccurring argument between them and Isami didn’t feel like arguing right now. For him it was clear as a day that Takumi was the more important one and if he had to choose he would die for his brother without hesitation. Takumi had always been softer on him, worrying whether he would be alright on his own or not. He still remembered the look in his brother’s eyes when he first saw him murder someone. His whole life, until that day, he was trained to protect Takumi, was trained that he was lower than Takumi and he always believed it, never doubted that and will never doubt it. His brother had more charisma then him and was a better leader than he could ever dream to be. Still he treated him as an equal and made sure everyone else did, too.

“By the way, I’ve been informed that you seem to frequent at a certain coffee shop more and more these days. Is there something going on?”

Isami looked back to his brother who had again placed his head on his hands, a curious expression in his eyes. A sheepish smile made its way onto the younger one’s lips and he leaned back in his chair.

“Not really I guess…I just like the coffee there,” he calmly said.

That the girl making the coffee was pretty cute as well, he wouldn’t mention. He didn’t need to give his brother a reason to either worry, or tease him.

#isami aldini #takumi aldini #food wars: shokugeki no souma #food wars: shokugeki no soma #shokugeki no soma #food wars #mafia au #fanfiction #fanfic #surviving in this dark world (fic)

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mycasandstarrs · 6 years ago

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SPN 5x09: “The Real Ghostbusters”

The Pineview Hotel.

Sam and Dean racing like hell to get there.

The multiple Impalas.

Chuckster!

Oh damn it, I have to deal with Becky.

Goddamn it, I’m really trying to keep my patience with Becky.

AGAIN, the publisher probably would’ve kept them out of this...then a bunch of people would’ve died, so I guess it’s actually worth having Becky around.

I haven’t been to a Supernatural Convention yet (god willing I can go to one when I plan to) but I kinda hope it’s like this.

“The Homoerotic Subtext of Supernatural” lmaoo. We should be having panels like this tho.

There’s so many men in the audience.

lmaooo Chuck.

Y’know, the bungee cord idea is kinda good, but it’d probably backfire in some way.

“Why can't Sam and Dean be telling that Ruby is evil? I mean she is clearly manipulating Sam into some kind of moral lapse.”

But I totally agree with him on the Ruby thing. Well, Dean knew she was evil.

Becky being the defensive Sam!girl she is. Admittedly, that’s very reminiscent of me/other fans.

Oh, what joy! That’s usually our reaction to Supernatural getting another season.

Poor Chuck. He’s mad cute.

“Why are you publishing more books, Chuck?”

“Umm...for food and shelter?”

lmaoo.

“I'm not some hero who can just hit the road and fight monsters, ok?” Oh, but you a r e. At least, you can be.

Ok, but a murder mystery at a Supernatural Convention sounds like fun.

“Well yes, Agents Lennon and McCartney--” The ONLY time I’ll ever hear Beatles aliases. (Unless they sneak in a “Harrison/Starkey” alias sometime...)

It’ll only get weirder boys.

Where was this Sam’s Dean?

Oh dear.

“This is part of the game right?” NO it’s not dude, you should run!!

Oh thank god, I thought he was gonna die.

Oh, but you’re talking to the real deal, lady.

Oh, there’s his Dean.

“Agents Jagger and Richards.”

It’s a shame they didn’t just...go outside and grab their laptop to research this while they still had the chance to leave.

Demain and Barnes had the smarts eavesdrop tho.

“We got a real ghost, and we got a bunch of dudes pretending to be us poking at it.”

“No way this ends well.”

“Yeah, well, serves them right.”

Dean pls, people could die.

I love this “Sam” (aka Barnes). What a sweetheart.

Gotta admire their commitment to the gruff voices.

OOHHHH NO, THE SCALPED KID.

Eugh god, you couldn’t just blow him a kiss, could you???

Were they the only ones to call the coroners?

“Where’d you get that.”

“It’s called a game pal. It ain’t called charity.”

“Yeah right. Gimme the map, Chuckles.”

“Yeah well, you’re the Chuckles...Chuckles.”

Demain really nails being Dean.

Their first time being referred to as “Bobby and Rufus”.

Demain and Barnes even have the exact lines memorized.

Dean, pls.

I’m almost embarrassed on behalf of Dean. Like, I know he’s got a right to be upset about people trivializing his life and traumas, but I also know how this outburst looks like to the other guys.

Did they really think bones are just...lying around?

0 to 100, real quick for those two.

Poor guys, omg.

Well, at least Sam and Dean bought them drinks.

15 minutes left in the episode and the case is “solved”....

“Hey, Chuck. Good luck with the Supernatural books and screw you very much.” lmao.

And now they can’t leave.

“Why did you send my mommy away?”

“Ah, maybe because of the high and tight she gave you, huh? How bout some thanks.”

lmaoo, Dean don’t be mean to the kid.

Welp, they got it wrong.

“Gott im Himmel!” (Translation: “God in Heaven!”) Fritz’s last words.

RIP Fritz. Killed by the ghost children.

Chuck pls, keep it under control.

Chuck’s gotta talk out of his ass now.

“Just give her the puppy dog thing, ok?” lmao, even Dean knows about it and its effects.

“If all these people are seriously in trouble, we gotta do something.”

“Why?”

“Because...that’s what Sam and Dean would do.”

Barnes and Demain are the best.

(Would’ve like to hear Sam’s conversation with the actress tho.)

WHO would ask about their STD at a convention for a book series??

THe Leticia Gore actress could be a bit more convincing...

Barnes got through...

NOT THE CELLPHONE. This is why I put my phone on vibrate.

At least Demian got through.

Get in there, Dean!

lmaaoo, come on, Barnes.

“Oh my god. Supernatural makes digging graves seem so easy. It’s not though. I’m gonna throw up.”

“No, you’re not.”

Supportive boyfriend Demain tho!

Time to fight off ghost children until they manage to burn the bones.

“Let's see, what else? I fell in love for the first time at 16. Lost my virginity, actually. But then she went around telling everybody it didn't count.” LMAO.

Take control Chuck!

Holy shit, that kid would’ve murdered the whole room of people if Chuck hadn’t interfered.

Becky’s right tho, that was hot.

“How come DEAN can always light the stupid thing on the first freaking try?” If it makes you feel better, he really can’t.

They did it!

Even Sam’s considering the bungee idea, lol.

The official introduction of Barnes and Demain.

Dean p l s. I always feel second hand embarrassment when Dean (and Sam) finally feel comfortable with telling fans that it’s really them, and it backfires on them.

(But, you think Demain and Barnes this discuss that night a lot? And one night, they think...”maybe that was Sam and Dean.”)

“In real life, he sells stereo equipment. I fix copiers. Our lives suck. But to be Sam and Dean, to wake up every morning and save the world. To have a brother who would die for you. Well, who wouldn't want that?”

:’)

“friends” Suuurrreee.

AAYYY BOYFRIENDS!! They’re so cute together. I hope they stayed together.

“Howdy partners.”

“Howdy.”

“Like a monkey on the sun, it was too hot to live.” lmaoo. I gotta start saying that.

Sam’s a champion for playing along.

“Oh hey, Chuck? If you really wanna publish more books, I guess that’s ok with us.”

“Wow. Really?”

“No, not really. We have guns and we will find you.”

LMAO.

Becky revealing the truth about the Colt’s location.

Our first mention of Crowley. ‘)

Aayy, ride off into the sunset boys.

The improv bit at the very end is comedy gold.

“The way I look at it, it's really not jumping the shark if you never come back down, ya know?”

#supernatural #spn summer rewatch #spn liveblog #spn 5x09 #the real ghostbusters

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seljepw · 7 years ago

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Over the Hills and Far Away- Episode 8

A/N: I'm so sorry I'm late with this installment, guys. It's almost twice as long as the others, and I had some issues getting the smut just right... Hopefully it will be worth the wait!!

The Road so Far: The reader- who Bobby adopted at 6 years old- is half Faerie. She was bred for the sole purpose of being the traditional Tithe to Hell- the deal that lets faeries keep their immortality. Now, her destiny has caught up with her, and she, Dean, Sam, Bobby, and Sarah (Remember her? From season one?) are trapped in a pocket dimension of Faerie land, and Hell is on it's way when the sun sets. Also, because metaphysical loopholes, Dean is bound to join Y/N in Hell, and everyone else is stuck in Faerie forevermore.

Word Count: 2,400ish

Warnings: THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER. Be prepared for strong language, unprotected sex (you know this is pretend, right?), and lots and lots of angst. (You guys might be going to Hell, ok? There's some feelings about that...)

Then:

“Ok,” she said, looking around the shack, “we need something to use as paint. Devil’s trap on the floor, sigils on the windows. We are going dark until this shit blows over.”

“Blows over?” Sam looked at her, incredulous. “Sarah, we’re stuck in an alternate dimension, waiting for the freaking King of Hell to come and drag away our sister-in-law! It’s not gonna just blow over!”

“Maybe not,” said Bobby, “but that don’t mean we just sit here twirlin’ on our thumbs.” He had cut his own arm, and was already using his blood to draw a warding sigil on the window over the sink.

Now:

By the time the sun had risen, you were sitting at the table with Sam and Sarah. Bobby was passed out on the narrow bed, and Dean was snoring lightly from the one cushioned chair in the shack. His face looked sallow next to the tattered orange corduroy of the chair’s upholstery. He had long ago learned the soldier’s trick of sleeping when you can, where you can. Unfortunately, that skill eluded you at the moment. So, you let out a deep sigh and reviewed your fortifications once more.

Standard devil’s trap in both doorways. Warding sigils- in a combination of blood, paint, duct tape, and deep gashes in the wood- plastered across any vertical surface. Sam’s Volvo was now parked like a barricade in front of the shack, and the other two cars were playing sentry in the flower-packed field behind your tiny fortress. You each had at least two weapons on hand (the silver knife at your back had been joined by Bobby’s revolver, stashed in your boot). The rest of your small arsenal was arranged on the table, gleaming in the gathering dawn.

It was damn handy to have such a paranoid bastard for an adopted father. Even in a made-up universe, Bobby wouldn’t be Bobby without a rainy-day stash of deadlies. Along with your new boot accessory, he had produced not just the Colt, but the demon knife and a sawed-off shotgun from his trunk. The handful of knives from the earlier houses rounded out the collection. Still, it was a depressingly small armory. And you had no way of knowing what you would have to face. Would Crowley come alone, or with an army? Would he be open to negotiating, or would he just sic a pack of hellhounds on you and call it a day? The thoughts chased each other around in your mind, as they had done for the past several hours. You were getting dizzy and exhausted.

Sam and Sarah had been pouring over the little blue Faerie book, taking notes and discussing possible modes of defence for the past three hours. The first time Sam looked up was when you growled impatiently and shoved yourself out of your chair.

“Y/N. Where do you think you’re going?” he hissed at you.

Dean gasped and came fully awake at the sound. Soldier sleep only lasts as long as it can, then it’s back to consciousness all at once. His fist was closing around the machete in his lap before he had even exhaled. “Whashapenin’?” he huffed. “Crowley?”

“No. Sorry I woke you. I just can’t stand being cooped up here anymore,” you said as you paced around the tiny room. Your hands raked through your hair and your shoulders wouldn’t stay still.

Bobby sat up and gave you his ‘worried daddy’ look. It was half reservation, half resignation. He knew you never did well being cloistered for long. You needed open sky and fresh air. So, being the good dad he was, he tilted his head to the back door.

“Go on, princess. But don’t you dare leave that field, and if anything happens, you holler at the top of your lungs, and we’ll come runnin’.”

Dean moved across the tiny room, assuming that he would be joining you on your walkabout, but you placed your hand firmly on his chest.

“No, Love. I just need to be by myself for a bit. Give me a few minutes, ok?”

In the dawn light, his eyes looked like peridot. It’s funny the things you notice when you’re getting ready to die, you thought. Those gold-green eyes searched yours for a long moment. He must have found what he was looking for, because he simply cupped your face in his hands, pressed a kiss between your brows and said, “Ok, Hermione. You do what you gotta. I’ll come out to check on you in a few.”

You walked out of the back door, leaving the silence of concerned people behind you. Bobby didn’t even insist that you take a coat.

You walked a slow circuit around the edges of the field, collecting a few flowers and brushing away the curious bees. The sun was beating down, but the breeze that played across your bare arms and shoulders kept it from being unbearably hot. You let your head fall back, and lifted your face to the sunshine. It was amazing, this cage the Fae had built for you. So detailed, so intricate. And they saw it as a privilege- an immensely precious gift that they had given to a totally unworthy thing. You found it insulting. If there was one thing you had learned in your life as a hunter, it was the value of truth. This place was one huge, condescending lie.

As you reached the shack again, you smiled despite yourself. Dean was lounging on the Impala’s hood, his fingers laced across his chest and his head resting back on the windshield, watching your slow progress. Neither of you spoke as you climbed up and settled your body next to his, as you had been doing for years. You both stared up at the fake clouds drifting across the fake sky.

He had popped one of his well-worn cassettes into Baby’s stereo, and Bad Company crooned out of the open windows, wafting on the breeze.

“Life is like a carousel... you aim for heaven, and you wind up in hell… To all the world you're livin like a king... but you're just a puppet on a broken string…”

“Tell me about it,” you scoffed at the song.

Dean chuckled and wrapped his arm around you, settling your head into its accustomed place on his shoulder. You watched the fake flowers shivering in the fake sunshine and revelled for a moment in the honest solidness of his cheekbone against your hair.

“Look, babe, if anyone knows what it’s like to be the freakin’ ‘Chosen One’- especially when you don’t have any choice in the matter- it’s Sammy and me. And we’ve always managed to shake it. This is no different. I told you last night; no way in hell you’re- ya know- goin’ to Hell.”

“We,” you said dejectedly. You’d been doing your best to keep from wallowing in your feelings. But this was Dean. You let the mask slip a little. “You mean we’re going to hell. I managed to fuck up enough to damn you, too. And get the others stuck here. It’s all my fault.” A tight ball had formed in your throat, and if you let it, it would boil over into weeping.

“Hey!” Dean levered both of you up into a seated position and turned to you, lacing his fingers through your hair. He maneuvered your face close to his, so you had no choice but to look directly into his eyes. “This is NOT your fault, you hear me? I don’t wanna hear that defeatist ‘woe is me’ crap. You didn’t do this. You didn’t start this. They’re trying to make you a victim, but you are way too strong for that. Now, what do we do when some supernatural son of a bitch comes after us?”

You sighed resignedly, and blinked to keep the tears at bay. “Kick it in the ass,” you mumbled.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. What do we do when something thinks it can tear us apart?”

This one came out a little more steady. “Kick it in the ass.”

“Better, but I want it one more time. Like you mean it. Because we are not victims. What do we do to every single threat that comes at us?”

You moved, then, swinging your leg over Dean’s hips and settling firmly into his lap. You mirrored his grip on your hair with a grip on his, and around clenched teeth you snarled, “We kick it in the fucking ass!”

“That’s my girl!” Dean crowed, and caught your mouth in a blistering kiss.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and crushed your body to his. You clawed at his back like you were trying to climb him. With a firm grip on your ass, he hoisted your combined weight up off of Baby’s hood and into the wildflowers. You clung on and rode him down to the rich, black soil.

You were like animals, at first. Moaning and growling and trying to get as close as you could while still clothed. The friction of your core against his was making you dizzy. Your panties were soaked. Please please please I neeeeed... was all you could think for a long time. You writhed against each other, and you thought your pussy was going to wring itself out, you were so hot, but neither of you made a move to escalate it. It was like you were waiting for something.

Bloodthirsty kisses and teenage rutting of denim against denim slowly melted away, and a fierce tenderness replaced it. The scent of crushed plants engulfed you. The tall, waving stalks of the flowers shielded you from sight. You were in your own little world within your own little world.

You and Dean had been hunting together-and together- for a few years. Despite all the brave talk, all the unwillingness to accept defeat, the fact remained. On a case, every fight could be the last fight. And every fuck could be the last fuck. You couldn’t take these moments for granted. Now- with the threat of Hell bearing down on you both- this time together took on an even sharper clarity.

He loomed above you- broad shoulders blotting out your view of the sky, covering you in protective shadows, and you took a moment to trace the lines of his face; to swim in eyes made greener by the swaying foliage around you. Just in case.

The moment stretched. Unexpectedly, your magic shimmered up inside you, like it was taking a deep breath. Your mind seemed to float, as weightless as your bodies had been the other night- and you could see Dean’s love for you like a physical thing. A second heart beating in his chest, gold and red and luminous. You laid your hand over the spot and watched the light pulse around your fingers. The beauty of it took your breath away.

“What?” His voice was a low murmur, barely louder than the susurrus of flowers around you.

“You,” you whispered, blinking away a new incursion of tears, “you are so gorgeous and amazing and I love you so fucking much…” The light in dean’s chest flared in a brilliant surge and when his lips met yours again, it was so overwhelmingly sweet that you couldn’t hold back your sobs anymore. Salt tears mixed with the taste of Dean’s mouth, and he pressed his weight on you as though he was trying to hold your jagged pieces together. Like he was trying to feed you with the inner light that he couldn’t see.

After what seemed like the longest heartbeat on record, you released your magic, got control of your lungs again, and dropped your shaking fingers to his waistband.

“Dean,” you gasped around a throat sore with crying, “Please. I need… I need…”

He understood. Of course he did. You both wrestled each other out of your clothes as best you could; Dean helped you yank his shirt over his head, but yours was trapped under your weight, so it stayed. One leg of your jeans remained tangled around a booted foot. Dean’s pants only made it halfway down his thighs, but it was enough.

When he reached between you to slide a finger into your slick opening, you stopped him.

“I need you, Dean. You. Now.” You gripped his shaft and gently guided him through your folds.

“You got it, sweetheart,” he smiled. Just a flash of the usual roguish Dean that disappeared when his eyes rolled up, closed, and squeezed shut, as he easily slid into you. Your own eyes followed suit, and a groan climbed up the back of your throat. Dean.

The weight of him on you and in you was an anchor. A mooring line to your life- your real life. Solid and safe and true. He buried himself as deep as he could, and kept pushing, holding his pelvis hard against your core. Your every muscle was shaking with the sensation- he was so present in your body. Your inner walls fluttered around him and you were so overridden that you couldn’t open your eyes. He was everywhere. The solid wall of his flesh pressed against your clit in a maddening pressure/friction. His back muscles flexed under your grasping hands. His chest held yours trapped against the ground. Rough fingertips smoothed your hair back, soft lips trailed kisses in a line down your forehead. And that solid, delicious weight in your center… You realized you were grinding against him, whimpering his name over and over, nudging the tip of his cock into all your deepest sweet spots. He just kept pressing into you, letting you swim in the feeling.

“I got you… I got you, Y/N. Take what you need, baby, I got you… Fuuuck, I love you...” His voice rumbled in your ear and through your chest, sending a new shower of sparks through your nerves and a fresh flood to your pussy.

“Dean Dean DeanDeanDean...”

“That’s it,” he murmured against your shoulder. He was beginning to tremble with the effort of staying still. “That’s it, baby. I’m right here... Holy shit that’s good... I’m here, I got you...”

You kept rolling your hips, trying to get him deeper, shifting him around inside, flashes of pleasure building and building and building until you were close to tears again... Please please please PLEASE! Finally, mercifully, the tension snapped loose and you shook apart with a silent scream.

Dean couldn’t hold still, anymore. “Ooooooh, my god! Fuck, Y/N, I gotta-”

Your eyes snapped open to drink up the sight of him. He managed a handful of savage thrusts before he came- hard. You could feel the pulses discharging impossibly deep. Your vision sparkled a bit around the edges, your breath rushed out in a gasp, and you wrapped your arms and legs tighter around him, holding him close. You were both crying, now.

You lay tangled together- inside and outside and around each other- and wept against each other’s shoulders without a sound. You stayed that way for a long time, even after the tears were spent, just petting and kissing and nuzzling and listening to one another breathe. Because moving meant you had to get on with this nightmare you were stuck in.

It was the sound that roused you. Tinkling whispers like a thousand tiny bells ringing. Or an army of absurdly delicate wine glasses shivering together. You and Dean slowly seperated and looked around.

The red glow of the evening sun was dancing through the clearing, dazzlingly refracted through the innumerable facets of a field of crystal flowers.

Tags: @mamaredd123, @motleymoose, @emilyymichelle, @singingphoenix, @raelady1184, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @icecream-and-gadreel, @deevoon, @aprofoundbondwithdean, @mrsgabrieltrickster

#Dean x reader #dean smut #Over the Hills and Far Away #spn fic #fic series #fae!reader x dean

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lovehugsandcandy · 5 years ago

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All the Jewels in the World (N*FW, Colt x MC)

A/N: Part three of the Necklace stories (Carcanet and Riviere are part 1 and 2). Thanks to @desiree-0816 for the request and the constant encouragement to actually finish this.

Pairing: Colt x MC, RoD

Length: 6,250 words (WHY?!?!?!)

Rating: N*FW (Swearing, violence, fist fight, blood, injuries, dumb boys fighting, sex, smut)

Summary: Colt doesn't just hate that necklace, he hates everything. Even Ellie. Especially Ellie. ...maybe not Ellie.

Colt woke up slowly; there were no windows in this makeshift shit room, so he never knew what time it was, but it felt late, later than normal. It felt like he slept well, for once; with The Brotherhood breathing down his neck and the constant pressure of earning his dad’s trust on his mind, it felt like sleep had been less a restive escape and more a fugue state between awake and unconscious, alert and weary. Maybe the stress of playing this lethal game of chess had finally taken its toll, finally shut down his racing thoughts and ever-present planning into an exhausted stupor.

Or maybe it had something to do with the girl in his arms. Ellie was there, had actually stayed the night, curled up on her side so he could feel the line of her spine, solid and real against his chest, could feel her lungs expand and contract under his arm as she breathed, even and peaceful into the quiet. He tried to stay as still as possible, not wanting to ruin the moment when things were good and they weren’t in danger and he could pretend that the world outside these walls didn’t exist.

She stirred, slow to wake as he had been, and he had to smile as her eyes opened, blurry gaze slowly sharpening as she woke up, blinking to bring the world into focus.

“Oh crap.” She jumped up. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know…”

She grabbed his phone, flicking it on and gasping. “CRAP! I gotta go!” He sat up to watch her flail around the room. “Clothes! Where are my clothes?”

“Ummm…" What was happening? “Where did you throw them?”

“I don’t know, Jesus. Colt, can you help me?!?”

“What’s the big deal?” He swung his legs to the floor, bracing against the bed to stand.

“Ummm, Logan? I’m staying in his room. He’s gonna notice I’m not there.” She found her shorts, hustling to throw them up her legs and grab the shirt from the floor. “Crap, crap, crap.”

He swung his legs back into bed with a frown.

“Crap, he’s gonna know, crap crap crap.” She hastily threw her hair up and threw the door open. “Gotta go.” Her shirt wasn’t even on yet when she slammed the door.

What the fuck.

Colt sat in silence, alone, stunned, for a good minute before he sarcastically waved at the door. “Bye.” He laid back down and stared at the ceiling. For a while.

For a long time actually.

For so long he really did have no idea what time it was. He was hungry a while ago but that faded away so did he miss a meal? Multiple? A whole day?

He just lay there, still naked; at some point, he got cold so he brought the sheets to his chin and continued to stare straight up at a stain of indiscriminate origin on the ceiling, unable to quell the ridiculous thoughts running through his head, thoughts that wouldn’t change anything and would still leave him here, alone in this shit bed in this shit room.

He wished they hadn’t showered together, that she would be sliding into that asshole’s bed with his cum still on her chest.

He wished he had hid her clothes, shoved them into the darkness under his bed so she would have to stay just that much longer.

He wished he had never kissed her, never felt her lips under his so he never knew what he was missing when he was alone here.

He wished he never stopped kissing her, that she was still here under him, encased in his arms.

He didn’t know what he wished but he wished for it all, his hand drifting down to press on the hickie she left by his hip. It wasn’t as dark as the ones he left on her neck, her infinite gentleness present in everything she did, stark contrast to him and the brashness that left blooming bruises in his wake.

He sat and stewed, bitter mind racing as he came to one overarching, far-reaching conclusion. As much as he wanted to hide from the world, he wasn’t gonna be the heartsick loser holed away in his bed. If she wanted to spend her time with the replacement, that was her choice. He had far more important things to do than pine for some goody-two-shoes valedictorian.

And he was far too smart to play a game he couldn’t win.

~~~~~~

“Crap, crap, crap, crap.” Ellie’s curses were whispers, thrown into the shadows of the shop as she finished throwing her shirt on and tiptoed up the stairs as fast as she could.

She slid into bed, breathing a small sigh of relief when Logan didn’t stir. She had just started to get comfortable, making the perfect divot in the pillow for her head, when he spoke.

“Ellie?” Her heart dropped. “Where were you?”

She opened her eyes to see him peering at her, the confusion written on his face plainly giving way to hurt. “I…”

“You know you can just tell me, right? I’m not gonna judge you.” He frowned. “I just… I worry about you.”

“You don’t need to.”

“I know.” He rolled onto his side so he could look her head on, early rays of the sun bathing him in a brilliant glow. “But I do.”

She sat up in a huff, leaning back so she could glare out the window and avoid his gaze. “Everyone thinks I’m this helpless damsel. I don’t need people to worry about me. I need people to let me live.”

“I get it, I just…I got you into this mess, here, with the crew and the shop.” He followed her up, sitting against the headboard so their shoulders brushed. “I have some responsibility for any shit that happens here.”

“You don’t have any responsibility for me!”

“I do if you’re making dangerous decisions! You know what happens to people like us.”

She rolled her eyes. “You say that like we’re so different.”

“We ARE! You have a comfortable life and-”

“We’re both car thieves now, Logan.” The words hurt but they were true. After the Grapevine job, they were more the same than they were different.

He studied her. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

She sighed, gazing out the window at the sun lighting up the avenue.

“Ellie?” His voice was quieter now, gentle. “Where were you?”

She turned to him and took a steadying breath. “Downstairs.”

“In the shop?”

“…With Colt.” The look on her face dared him to speak.

“What?” Apparently, he dared. “Colt?!?!”

“Yeah. I’ve been hooking up with Colt.”

“Seriously? That ass-”

“You said you wouldn’t judge.” She swatted a stray hair behind her ear, annoyed.

“But…him?”

“Yeah.”

Logan took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “I just think…you deserve someone who has the capacity to treat you right.”

“Come on, he’s not that-”

“Colt has the capacity to love himself. And ride a motorcycle. And…that’s about it.”

“Logan…” she groaned, smile peeking out despite herself.

He threaded his arm around her shoulder to give her a squeeze, a semi-hug that told her everything was gonna be ok. “You know I just worry about you. I know you can take care of yourself. I just…Jeez, troublemaker, I have no idea what you see in him.”

“I…I like him.”

“Him? Of all people?”

“You don’t…you don’t know him like I do.” She looked at her hands. No one else knew how his hands gentled when they slid through her hair, curved over her waist, and touched every single inch of her laid bare. No one else knew how he clung to those close to him, jealous eyes and resentful stares belying a deep fear that the ones he cared for would vanish in the night. And no one else saw him last night, plaintive, forlorn, asking her to stay in his bed as if it were physically painful when she walked away.

Logan crossed his hands over his chest. “If he hurts you, I swear to God…”

“He won’t.”

The eye roll she got in return was so extreme she felt her face ache in sympathy. “Ellie, he’s an asshole!”

“I know. But he won’t.”

He tried to smile, a weak quirk of his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes, disbelief plain as day on his face. She tried to smile back, to reassure him. She didn’t think it worked.

~~~~~

Colt slung the backpack over his shoulder with a sigh, closing the door behind him. It had been easy to convince his father to let him hunt down their contact in Fresno, a simple job to find the guy and learn what he knew about The Brotherhood.

Simple, easy, painless, and a way to get the hell out of the shop for a while so he could fix his head.

He couldn’t afford to be distracted by some girl, no matter how clever and tough and attractive she was, especially when she went running back to Logan at every single goddamn opportunity. He had told himself, fuck, he had sworn that he wouldn’t go down this road the first time they slept together. She was shacked up with that fucking prick in the loft and he knew, he knew that what they did only took place in the dark. He fucking knew that his claim on her nights was secret, something only for the two of them, and that any intimacy they shared started only when the world had fallen asleep and ended well before daylight.

But then they kept hooking up. And she kept sneaking down to see him. And he kept hating that utter asshole who got to claim her days, burning rage threatening to boil over numerous times.

Once she made it clear that she wasn’t sticking around through sunrise, he realized he was in over his head.

So this had to stop. Now. He wasn’t weak, not for her, not for anyone, and this trip was a way to prove it and get the fuck away, just until he had his head on straight and was able to put this entire thing out of his mind.

It was dead quiet on the shop floor as he walked to his bike. As he was running through the mental checklist in his head, trying to plot out every step along the way to obtaining the information he needed, the moonlight reflected off the metal steps leading to the loft. He stopped, eyes caught up in the glow and then sliding to the loft door. It was silent and dark up there.

He wondered…

He shook his head. No. This was a shitty idea.

He walked over to the bike, making sure he had everything, checking his pockets, and glanced up the loft stairs again. No. Shitty, shitty idea.

He had swung his leg over the bike, hand on the throttle, ready to go, when he peered up the stairs one last time. He didn’t know what possessed him but, now that he had the horrible sanity-killing idea, he knew it wasn’t leaving his mind. So he got off, leaving his bag and shoes by the kickstand, and silently edged up the stairs, cursing himself the entire way. He turned the knob, carefully, poking his head in to make sure it was still before stepping inside.

The giant windows showcased almost all of Gramercy Park, pale moonlight illuminating the pavement, the storefronts, all of it in a dull glow that obscured the actual grime and rot of the neighborhood. It looked beautiful from here, a marked comparison to his shit room with no windows and bare walls and a leak spreading steadily over his head. His eyes easily adjusted; he knew this room well, had stayed in the loft on visits when he was younger, before he was discarded and replaced.

A quick glance at the couch found it empty. Against his better judgement, he turned his eyes to the bed, where there were two distinct lumps under a faded blanket. He stared, eyes burning, stomach roiling, fists clenching, glaring at Ellie and Logan sharing a bed, bathed in the moon’s glow. He stood, frozen, watching two chests rise and fall, soft pairs of breath in the silent room, encased in moonlight. Violent red was steadily creeping into his vision, graying the edges, periphery fading so all he could see were two bodies, peacefully asleep and oblivious to the rage churning his mind.

When he had looked his fill, when he stood long enough that he was sure that his foolish mind and broken heart received the message, he turned to go, fists still painfully clenched. He headed back downstairs, grabbed his shoes, and walked his bike out the bay door, careful not to turn the engine until he was halfway down the street, out of sight of the shop and of anyone who had a clear view out the window in a room where they never slept alone.

~~~~~

It wasn’t like Ellie was counting the days, but she was counting the days.

The first day passed in a blur with school and classes. She knew she didn’t see Colt but just figured that their paths didn’t cross at all.

The second day, she snuck down to his room, fully expecting their usual banter, but the room was dark, empty. She frowned and wondered, heavy footsteps leading her back up to the loft.

The third day, she paid closer attention and realized that he wasn’t in the garage at all. She guessed that she had subconsciously realized it, no sarcastic exchanges in the shop, no secretive exchanges in private. She was angry at first-he didn’t even tell her he was going anywhere!-then tried to tell herself she had no right to be upset. She was still angry.

The fourth day, she had to ask Kaneko, anger fading into concern. “On a job up north.” Well then. Helpful.

She was fully distracted the fifth day, unable to concentrate on her homework, every engine roar outside making her turn to the bay doors, face falling when she realized it wasn’t him.

The sixth day, Logan took to trying to cheer her up, grabbing Kelso’s for lunch and trying to teach her to change a set of brake pads. As much as she appreciated it, his efforts didn’t work.

Finally, on the seventh day, just when she was starting to panic, unanswered calls and texts weighing heavy on her mind, just then, the rumble of a motorcycle pulled her from her thoughts. She stood before thinking about it, watching him slow to a stop and swing his leg over before nudging the kickstand out with his toe. He didn’t even look up, fiddling with something on the dash, and she looked at Logan. She shrugged. He helplessly shrugged back.

Finally, she pushed off the car she was leaning on and headed over. Colt didn’t even look up at her shuffling steps.

“Welcome back.”

He raised his eyebrows in a silent response, eyes trained on the helmet in his hands.

“Where were you?

He shrugged. "Had a job to do.” He still wasn’t looking at her, messing with the buckle to the chinstrap.

“You’ve been gone for a week.”

“I was working.”

“You didn’t even text me back.”

“Been busy.” Another shrug as he placed the helmet on his bike, careful hands at odds with his harsh tone.

“Seriously?” Her voice fell to an angry whisper. “I texted you to see if you were alive every day for the last three days and all you can say is ‘been busy’?!?“

“Yeah.” Finally, he looked at her and Ellie pulled back at the barely contained fury in his eyes. “I’m fine. I can take care of myself, by myself. I don’t need you checking up on me. I don’t fucking need you at all.”

She was stunned, gaping at him as he pushed by her to walk away, shoulders in an angry line. He was halfway through the shop when Logan’s cutting voice made him pause.

“You asshole. She was just worried about you, no need to be a prick.”

She could see Colt’s face, darkening degree by degree as he slowly turned around. “Why don’t you just mind your fucking business.”

Logan rolled his eyes, stepping closer. “Maybe it is my business if you treat her like shit.”

Her heart dropped. It was like watching a car accident in slow motion, seeing the cars heading for each other and being powerless to stop it, only able to tense up and wait for the crash.

“Listen, you fuck.” Colt mirrored his action, stepping closer to Logan, shoulders back. “She’s a big girl. I think she can take care of herself.”

She winced. She could almost see the gears in Logan’s head turning, him remembering their conversation where he worried about her heart. “You don’t think you should take care of her?”

"Oh, don’t you worry. I took good care of her for you when she snuck out of your bed at night.”

Logan’s glare could cut glass and her stomach plummeted. “Excuse me?”

“So go shove all this fake protective shit. I really don’t think you have any reason to get involved here.”

Ellie moved towards them both; by this point, Mona and Toby had noticed the confrontation, stopping to stare, but she only had eyes for the pair in front of her, her internal alarms screaming as she took in the set of Colt’s jaw, the fire in Logan’s eyes.

“Well, maybe I actually care about her and I’m not some sociopathic asshole running around desperate to impress his father.”

She could see it happening in slow motion: Mona’s whispered “Oh shit,” the tensing of Colt’s hand, Logan’s sneer. She had just opened her mouth to say something, anything to stop this, when Colt sprung, throwing his entire body into the punch, first swinging and connecting with Logan’s jaw. The noise was sickening, flesh and bone connecting, Logan’s face spinning with the impact as he fell back a step and Ellie gasped.

And then everything sped up. They moved, faster than Ellie could blink, fists hurtling through the air so quickly she couldn’t keep track, couldn’t tell who was hitting and who was hurting. There was blood, somewhere, from someone, but she couldn’t even tell, just wanted to avert her eyes from the barbaric display as two people she foolishly cared about assaulted the ever-loving hell out of each other.

“Idiots.” Mona scoffed behind her. “Just a pair of absolute fucking morons.”

Ellie couldn’t watch but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. “What if they hurt each other?”

“I hope they do. Serves them right.”

Maybe Mona didn’t care but Ellie did. “Guys!” Logan landed a hit to Colt’s face and ignored her. “Logan!” Colt fought back with a jab to the jaw and Ellie winced. “COLT!” Her shriek finally made him turn, eyes wild the widening in pain as Logan’s fist slammed into his side. She winced. She could hear the thud of impact from where she stood.

“You mother fucking-” Colt doubled over but sprang up quickly, tacking Logan to the ground, fists flying as Logan’s flew back, alternating between protecting his head and trying to land a shot at Colt’s head. Ellie screamed again but they kept hitting, grappling, ferocious and wild in a pile of limbs and rage.

“Enough.” Kaneko’s voice carried through the shop, low but with a hint of malice that made everyone pause, even the two boys locked in full-body contact on the concrete floor.

With a sneer, Colt clambered up, blood dripping steadily from a cut under his left eye. Logan moved slower, favoring his right side and dabbing at a bloody lip, but stood as well, fixing Colt with a glower. They both stood, the calm after the storm, wreckage painted over crimson knuckles, watching Kaneko step closer.

Kaneko’s voice was tightly controlled but Ellie could hear annoyance, anger, and a hint of exhaustion seeping through. “Logan, upstairs. Colt, my office. Now.” He turned and walked away. Colt straightened his jacket before stalking after his father. If she hadn’t been paying attention, she would have missed his eyes cutting to hers as he stomped by, a flash of storm clouds under knitted brows. In an instant, it was gone and all she could see were his shoulders, weighed down and tense, disappearing into the back.

~~~~~

Everything hurt. Colt was trying to ignore the pinpoints of pain that coursed through his body, but it was hard when every single cell felt sore. He had just rolled over to try to sleep off the worst of it when his door opened, creak of the hinge loud in the silent room. He looked up from his sprawl on his bed and groaned. “Just go away.”

Ellie shook her head, slipping off her shoes so she could crawl across the bed to him. Her eyes were so concerned, so sad, that he had to close his before he reached for her. When she got to his head, she put an ice pack against his eye, still looking at him with worried eyes.

He waved her off, pushing her hand away so the ice fell to the bed. “Shouldn’t you be taking care of your boyfriend?”

“Jesus Christ, Colt.” He rolled away from her. He should have stayed in that shitty motel. He didn’t want to come back for this bullshit. “Colt, let me just…”

“Stop, Ellie. Just stop.” He watched her face fall at his tone, harsh and unforgiving in the quiet room, hanging in the air as she crouched over him. “I want you to leave.”

Her face fell further and Colt had to bite his lip before he said something he regretted, something that made his time away pointless.

“But…” She pulled back, eyes cautious, putting space in between them.

It was easier to think when she was further away, when he didn’t have to watch those expressive eyes emote pain. “Please leave.”

She opened her mouth to speak but reconsidered, closing it again with a sigh. With one last look, she stood and walked out the door, closing it softly behind her.

He had just shoved the ice pack onto the floor and settled back down into bed when the door opened with a slam. “You asshole.” She slammed the door even harder behind her, stalking over to the bed. “You asshole!“

“What the fuck did I-”

She was shaking, fists were clenched at the end of stiff arms vibrating in rage. “I knew you were a jerk but this is low, even for you. You think you can treat people like that? Sleep with me and act like you care and then vanish?” Tears were pooling in her eyes; he would have felt guilty if he weren’t so furious. "You can’t ghost me. We...we slept together. And I live here!”

“Yeah, you live here with your fucking boyfriend!“ He struggled to sit up, side aching with the effort. “Remember him? The guy upstairs?”

“You know it’s not like that, stop calling him that!”

“It’s exactly like that, you two sharing a bed, all happy couple, fucking congratulations, I asked you to-”

“He’s my friend and I’m kinda homeless right now!”

“Well then, I’ll just invite my friends to stay here too, hell, why not? Tons of room in my bed, I can fuck my way through the homeless population of LA.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I never slept with Logan.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s the truth, you emotionally constipated assho-”

“I asked you to LEAVE!” His chest was heaving and he held back a wince; the shout made his ribs ache. His side hurt, his eye hurt, and all he wanted was to lay down and sleep until he forgot that his heart hurt most of all.

They stared at each other. Tears were streaming down Ellie’s face now, wet trails glistening as they slid over her lips and dripped down her jaw. “You need to listen to me.” Her voice was sure, low, certain. “I never slept with him. Ever. We kissed once, before I ever met you. So you can take your attitude-”

“Wait-”

“I never slept with anyone before you. I never had a boyfriend. But-”

“Wait just a-”

“Colt, you can’t-”

“STOP. Just stop. For a second. Please.” He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. “I don’t…You never….not before we…”

“What?”

“Back up. You didn’t hook up with Logan?”

“No.”

“You never had sex before we…”

“No? No, I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you-” His mind raced, thoughts flying to the first time they ever had sex, in this very room, Ellie on top of him like a fucking goddess, sliding down onto his cock with a low moan that drove him insane. “I didn’t know-” He tried to remember every second, searching for any hint that it was her first time; he came up empty. Fuck. A girl like her deserved roses and candlelight, not stolen moments in a hidden-away basement bedroom in the front for a criminal enterprise.

The bed dipped as she sat next to him, putting her palm to his cheek so she could catch his eye. “I know you didn’t know. I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged, blush spreading over her cheeks. “I was embarrassed.”

“Why? Everybody has a first time. I would have-”

“You would have what?”

“I dunno.” He wracked his brain. “I would have tried to make it special, at least. For you. If I knew.”

“I didn’t want you to know. I guess I thought you wouldn’t want me.” She looked down, suddenly shy. “I think you don’t want me a lot of the time.”

“The hell would you think that?”

Another shrug. “We only hook up when I sneak down here.”

“Am I supposed to sneak into the loft?”

“No, but…” She twisted her hands together on her lap. “I guess I just thought…I know you. You fought to get into the crew, clawed your way back into your dad’s life, and now you’re taking on The Brotherhood. You fight for what you want. It’s in your blood, it’s who you are.” She bit her lip. “I just thought… If you wanted me, you would fight for me.”

“I wanted to rip that fucking necklace from your neck.” His jaw clenched. “I fucking wanted to take every single piece of him off of you and replace it.” He didn’t recognize the voice coming from his mouth, anger coursing through him, both bone-deep and shimmering on the surface. "But you acted like this meant nothing every time you ran out the door to jump in his bed.”

“You mean every time I tried to hide the fact that I felt like a dirty little secret?”

Colt gaped. How could she have gotten this so wrong? "How were you the secret? I thought you and Logan were together.”

“No.” She shook her head, eyes still sad. “Not at all.”

Hell, how could he have gotten it so wrong? “You want me to fight for you?” He leaned closer, ignoring the stitch in his side to cup her cheek, still damp with sadness. “I’d rather fight with you by my side.” She didn’t pull away so he leaned closer, familiar heat arcing between them, warmer and warmer until he was engulfed and the only thing he could do was pull her lips to his in a desperate attempt to quell the flame.

She moaned into his mouth, low and lusty, the noise drawing his lips down her jaw to her neck, so he could taste where the sound was vibrating at her throat, then lower, biting designs in bare skin where a chain usually lie.

“I won’t wear it, not anymore.” Her words were breathy as her fingers curled into her hair.

“I don’t give a shit what you wear.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Wear whatever you want, as long as you’re only fucking me.”

She pulled his head up from where he was speaking into her shoulder, fingers in his hair lifting until she could look him in the face with her wide, questioning eyes. Whatever she saw there was apparently enough and he could do nothing but sigh his surrender into her lips.

She was gentle, far more than he deserved, careful hands spinning up his sides to slip the shirt off his head, the pants off his legs. He tried to return the favor but knew his own fingertips were unable, hands rough, harshly digging into every inch of skin as he shed her clothes from her body, powerless to stop them from digging possessive divots into skin and muscle and flesh he needed to claim as his own.

She didn’t seem mind, pushing him back against the bed so she could move over him, spreading her legs so her core, dripping and hot and needy, needy for him, only for him, her core was right over him and then sliding down as Colt’s eyes screwed shut and he had to take shallow breaths so he could try and hold onto some semblance of sanity.

She had just gotten into a good rhythm, the grind if her hips making light flare behind his eyelids, when her knee hit his side; damn, that was gonna be a nasty bruise. She noticed his expression, trailing a soft hand over the spot where Logan nailed him. “Come here, sit up.”

She helped him move with careful hands so he could lean against the headboard, fingers so gentle at his back that his breath and his heart caught in his throat. Once she was sure he was comfortable, she dropped into his lap, taking him inside her again, eyes never leaving his face, inches from his own.

This wasn’t how he and Ellie had sex; hell, this wasn’t how he ever slept with anyone, so close it felt like her eyes were peering into every dark corner of his soul, seeing every weakness, every flaw. He couldn’t bring himself to look away, hands cradling her thighs as if they were glass, a fragile beauty of skin and bone. He realized that he was the only one who had touched her like this, unknowingly the only one who had seen her in these moments, when his jealousy consumed his mind and prevented him from seeing what was right in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” Her big brown eyes were staring straight into his soul.

She was so tight, so hot around him, and it took every inch of his self-control not to thrust. It was like the sweetest torture he ever felt, an intense interrogation with the strength her walls, like a vise around him, her eyes looking through him. She wasn’t even moving anymore, just watching him, so close they were sharing the same breath, so close there was no room for lies between them, so close that the only thing he could possibly speak was the painful, selfish truth.

His voice was broken. “I want you. For real.” He had to look away, look anywhere but those eyes. “You’re in his bed every night…and, I just….I want you here.”

Fuck, he was weak, as weak as his father claimed in angry words and hushed whispers, words designed to push him out and keep him out. She brought it out of him like it was pulled straight from his weak soul and his weak heart, brought to the surface from the deep, dark places where he hid it from the world. His weakness, his utter failure, was obvious as lines on his skin, running across the surface; she made him weak like a siren calling his heart to crash on a distant shore. All his life, he fought against any and all weakness, determined to eradicate it from his soul. But if losing all weakness meant losing her? Hell, he had already failed.

“You have me, Colt.” He hissed as she shifted, a slow roll of her hips, burying him deeper. “You always did.”

All he could focus on, all his weak weak mind could see, was her face as she took her pleasure from him, his eyes trailing from the delicate flutter of each individual eyelash to the flush on her cheeks, spreading incrementally outward up her cheekbone, rosy line edging to her hair, to the bow of her lips, so close that each breath was a puff of air that landed on his own lips. Sharing the same air was an intimacy that took his own breath away, to be replaced with the air from her lungs.

“You’re staring.” Her eyes were narrow slits.

“You’re gorgeous.”

“I’m yours.”

His hands moved before he could think, pulling her closer so he could steal the exhale directly from her mouth, lips sealing around hers in a kiss so deep he could feel it in his toes. When he pulled back, her eyes were glistening again but he thought that these tears maybe marked a different emotion. She started moving again, a swivel of her hips that quickly grew more frantic, harsher. He moved to match her, thumb sliding through her folds to touch the place where their bodies met, pushing electric currents of pleasure through his veins.

When his hand finally reached her clit, she sagged against him, hips still chasing her high and his thumb tracing patterns that made her breath unsteady in his ear. It only took three more thrusts of his hips, swiveling his hips so the last drag slid over the spot he discovered their very first time, in this very bed, when he unknowingly took her virginity and she unknowingly took his heart.

The noise from her throat, a high whine that spoke of pleasure and satisfaction and a million different things he couldn’t verbalize, her walls, tightening and clenching around him, hell everything just pulled his orgasm from him as he held her close, hand at her lower back holding on for dear life as he sunk into oblivion.

When he was finally able to open his eyes, they had somehow slid into a tangled heap, lying flat on the bed. He was naked and sweaty and sore, eye aching and side starting to throb where she was draped over him.

He never wanted to get up.

He thumbed a fading mark on her neck. He always thought the hickies were because he wanted to show the world that she belonged to him, that she was his, tied to him in a way deeper and more meaningful than a piece of jewelry around her neck.

But maybe it was he who wanted to belong to her.

She stiffened. “Crap.” He lifted his head to watch her leap from the bed, grabbing her clothes and haphazardly throwing them on with a speed he wouldn’t have believed if he had not unfortunately seen it before.

“Ellie?”

She put one finger up as she opened the door and then was gone, out the door so quickly he couldn’t be sure that she had been there at all, disappearing like a wisp of his fractured mind. He dropped his head against the pillow with a groan.

He had just started getting angry again, internal voices starting a furious chorus, when the doorknob turned; almost as soon as she had left, she was back, sliding the door open, wheeze in her inhale a remnant of her sprint across the shop. In her arms was a bundle of something, he couldn’t make out. He lifted his head to squint at her.

She moved to his dresser, opening drawers at random until she found what she was looking for in the second from the top. She rustled around for a minute, old magazine crinkling as she pushed it to the side, and then dropped the stuff in.

“What the hell was that?” he asked as she slid back into bed, wrapping his arm back around her waist with a sigh.

“My things. You think I’m supposed to stay here with no toothbrush? No clothes?”

He had to swallow to stop the words from coming unbidden from his lips as his brain seized; it took a minute for his heart to settle and his mouth to release the easy reply. “You can definitely stay here with no clothes.”

She laughed, threading their fingers together.

“No, seriously. We have a clothes-optional policy here.”

She spun in his arms, trailing her palm down his chest. “You are definitely taking advantage of that policy.”

“Maybe it should be a no clothing allowed policy.” His fingers found the bare patch of skin at her back, warm and real under his hands.

“Mmmmh…” She leaned closer. “There sure are a lot of policies here. If you want me to stay down here, I think you need to simplify it a little.”

“Oh, I can simplify it very easily.” He pulled the shirt over her head, easily, ducking his head to tease the curve of her neck before he caught her eye, gaze earnest. “I want you to stay down here.”

Her answering grin was as bright than any piece of jewelry he had ever seen. Spark plug be damned, he was gonna keep that look on her face as long as he could.

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psalm40speakstome · 7 years ago

Text

I HAVE HEALTH ANXIETY: IT’S OK

Posted by Callie

“I am writing this as a bit of an update. The past few months have been a struggle. As someone with severe health anxiety, when I experience symptoms of any kind, I retreat into my shell, which means, when it comes to writing, well, there isn’t much of it. There is a whole lot of searching symptoms on the internet, catastrophizing and time wasted in stand-by mode. By stand-by, I mean, waiting to make sure I am not dying, mode.

When I am in a health anxiety induced panic, I don’t have time for writing, because I am planning my funeral, and wondering how my kids will get along without me. I joke, because it makes it easier to handle somehow, but the truth is that I actually go there. I assume the worst and I run to it, until maybe the symptoms subside, or a doctor tells me I am fine, after every test is done known to man, or sometimes, because I just can’t keep up with it anymore and am exhausted.

The trouble in me has always been there. I am finally learning how to deal with these thoughts and turn them into something rational. Ever just get sick of something or someone telling you what to do? Yeah, that’s where I’m at with anxiety. It was in check so well until this latest episode. I have had episodes of lightheadedness, which can be anxiety induced, and, interestingly enough, I have had increasingly fewer episodes as I accept them as anxiety. So I am back, or at least trying to be back, as I peak my head out of its shell.

I have been reading and working through an amazing book by Katerine M.B. Owens and Martin M. Antony, PhD, titled Overcoming Health Anxiety: Letting Go of Your Fear of Illness, and my friends, it has been so very helpful. I cried hysterically for an hour after reading the first chapter. It was so absolutely my struggle and it helped to not feel so all alone in it, and to know there was hope.

I am not going to pretend I am cured. I’m just a newborn colt on scrawny, wobbly legs, but I’m getting there. I am currently keeping an “Anxiety Thought Record”, in which I will record my thoughts and later challenge them. I’m also turning in, praying, reading, praying, praying, and praying.

I want to take just a minute to offer some encouragement to those of you who experience the same struggle. There’s a lot of shame in it, isn’t there? I suppose there is shame in any flaw, but this one is especially hard. It’s difficult to admit that you’re afraid. No-one wants to be the kid clutching their teddy bear in the corner, thumb in their mouth, eyes wide, pants wet, sobbing for their mommy. WHY did I have to be that kid??! I’m not. You’re not. We’re just afraid. It’s ok. Go find a mirror, look yourself in your terrified eyes, and say, “It’s ok”.

Culture and faith culture tell us strength is the absence of fear. So then what does that say about us if we fear? Sometimes we don’t even have a say. Something happens. We feel something. We hear something, and there we stand, surrounded by a thousand screaming demons. We want out more than you know. We pray like a desperate David and still…we’re there.

Friends, there is NO SHAME in your weakness. There is only the potential for growth and the ability to watch yourself sprout great strength. I’ve been overcome before. Interstitial Cystitis was the one time I worried I had something and I actually did. After years of fearing the worst; it happened. I was lost for a while. But you know what? I needed to be, so I could find my way to a new, better me. The new me was strong: burdened, but beautiful.

My faith was not the absence of fear but the determination to hope and continue to walk forward in a dance of grace and love. Here’s the bottom line. It was never MY fear, or MY strength, or MY anxiety. We can claim what we want. Not my fear. Not my anxiety. My strength came through walking in the life that I believe a greater God placed before me.

FRIENDS! There is so much beauty in the struggle! Sometimes I envy the friend who has never worried a day in their life, or never experienced the type of turmoil I go through. Then I consider all I have learned, and the depth of joy I feel in the moments that are full of good and grace and I pity them. Yeah, the dark sucks, but the light is blinding, and it is just around the corner.

“ANXIOUS FEAR BRINGS DEPRESSION, BUT A LIFE-GIVING WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT CAN DO WONDERS TO RESTORE JOY TO THE HEART.” – PROVERBS 12:35”

#faith #hope #trust #Jesus #God of all comfort #chronic health problems #chronic illness community #chronic illness #allergies #asthma #histamine issues #relatable #anxiety #health anxiety #river and quill

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lovehugsandcandy · 5 years ago

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Eight Days a Week, Eight Seconds a Kiss (Part 6) (Colt x MC)

A/N: Part 6 of the RoD rom-com no one asked for. Getting closer, Ellie...

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: ~2500 words

Rating: PG-13 (Swearing, probably, because I swear a lot.)

Summary: Ellie wants to live her life to the fullest, starting with her first kiss. She just needs a little encouragement.

Thursday: Give Me Love, I Put My Heart in it

“You sure you don’t want to borrow any more of my clothes?” Mona arched an eyebrow at her.

Ellie shrugged. “I’m good.” She still had to wash the outfit from yesterday but the reality was that she just wasn’t feeling it. She was done with the game, with the primping and the pretending. If she was going to meet someone who liked her for her, she was going to do it in normal clothes. She was going to do it being her.

“Suit yourself.” Mona sauntered away and Ellie surveyed the shop floor. The crew was starting to gather for a night out, needing very little convincing for an evening of fun and debauchery. Colt was standing next to his motorcycle and she wandered over.

"Thanks for planning this.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” He had seemed to soften from yesterday, voice still biting but nowhere near as angry as he was. Ellie shivered, remembering the heat of his gaze, being the sole focus of his attention.

“A club doesn’t seem like your kind of place.”

He snorted. “It not. But the club is a good place to find someone to kiss.”

“But I want them to like me, remember?” Ellie twisted her hands in front of her.

“Like you for more than one night, you mean?”

She shoved him as he smirked. “Maybe I just want to dance.”

“Ok. Whatever you say, sweetheart.” He pushed the helmet over his head and swung his leg over the bike before she could even reply. With a mock salute, he revved the engine and sped off.

She rolled her eyes. Why was she friends with such idiots?

~~~~~

The club was packed when they finally got there, the mass of people dancing and gyrating to a loud base. Ellie felt like her eyes were bugging out of her head. Everywhere she looked was color and light and life, spotlights filtering over the crowd, a joyful celebration of fun and excitement. She watched couples move, just like at the sideshow, bodies so close that there was no distance between them, hands and hips winding together in an intricate and suggestive fusion.

She flushed. She wanted someone to dance with her like that.

Thankfully, she was quickly distracted from her thoughts when Toby grabbed her hand and pulled her out to the dance floor to show her an exceedingly complicated dance that involved jumping. A lot of jumping.

She jumped and danced and bounced like a pinball careening through the crowd, laughing and cheering and waving her hands as she and Toby flew through the dance floor with reckless abandon.

She wasn’t really paying attention, was too focused on the complicated triple-jump maneuver she was trying to perfect, when her second jump slammed into someone and she bounced backwards. She would have fallen if not for the hand that reached out to grab her arm and steady her.

“Ahh! I am so-” She looked up. “Oh. It’s you.”

Colt raised an eyebrow, glancing behind her at Toby’s jump-spin combo. “I thought you wanted to dance.’

“I am dancing!”

“That’s what this is?”

“Oh stop, you fun sponge.”

Colt laughed and she could feel the vibration in her arm, the warm touch a realization of how close they were. The crowd was pushing in on them, people around them on all sides forcing them closer, but she didn’t really want to back away.

“Dance with me!”

Colt eyed the crowd around them. “I don’t really...”

“Come on!” She grabbed his hand and pulled so he was facing her. “You were making fun of me for my moves. Show me what you’ve got.”

His eyes slid down her face and he pulled her closer, hands on her hips, to speak in her ear. “You can’t handle what I’ve got.”

She pulled back to beam at him, his face inches from hers, challenging smirk on his face. His eyes were bright, reflecting the strobe lights above them; she watched them trace over his face, highlighting the cheekbones, the jawline, his lips, curved into a sly grin.

She had been close to him before, very close, clutching him for dear life on the motorcycle, huddled conversations at the shop, exchanging angry words in the dim light. But this? So close she could map the curve of his lips to remember for later? So close she could watch his tongue dart out to touch his lower lip? So close she could see the gleam of moisture it left behind?

Wait, why was she staring at his lips?

She blinked, forcing her eyes up to meet his. “Let’s dance!”

He only shook his head, fond, and pulled her closer to move her to the beat, capable hands pulling her backwards and forwards. She had to suck in a breath. She definitely hadn’t danced like this, ever. His hands were around her waist, pads of his fingers warm underneath the back of her shirt, sliding across her skin as they moved together.

This was how she had wanted to dance.

She stepped even closer so their hips touched, bodies melding together so they were moving as one to the music. Everything else faded away and the only thing she could feel were the points where their bodies touched. She could feel the planes of his chest, solid in front of her, his cheek brushing hers as she tightened her arms around his shoulders, and his hips. Jesus, their hips were so close that hundreds, no thousands of inappropriate images filtered through her mind at warp speed, each one racier than the next, making her heart pound faster, her cheeks burn brighter.

Apparently this was how she had wanted to dance.

She didn’t know what she was missing, what it was like to be so close to someone. Her lungs wouldn’t inflate. Every nerve on her body was firing, tingling, keeping time with her and him and the music as her heart alternated between stopping and pounding.

Colt pulled back to look at her and she swore her stomach plummeted to the floor.

“Ellie...” They were so close she could hear it over the pounding base, feel it in the breath on her lips. Her eyes flitted to his lips again as they hung in the moment, one beat, two beats, the drop, and Ellie took a giant step back.

She felt like she had been shocked, electricity running through her veins like a live wire.

Holy shit. How....how had she never realized...

“I’m gonna go grab a drink.” Unlike her, he looked completely unaffected, eyeing her with the same confident disinterest, as if nothing had changed for him when everything had changed for her. Before she could form a cogent thought, he was ducking away, off through the crowd.

She needed to take a minute, needed to catch her breath and slow her heart and try to piece together what just happened. What just happened? She followed him, slowly, mind in a daze as she ducked through the crowd.

Did she want to kiss Colt?

Crap! How did this happen?

She jumped when she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her from her thoughts

“Hi sweetie.” Ximena smiled, gently.

“Hi.”

X watched at her, eyes narrowing. “You know, it looks like there’s something going on between you and Colt, isn’t there?”

“What?” Ellie stared at her. “What? That’s just preposterous, he’s such an asshole, that’s just....” She looked over at him, waiting at the makeshift bar. As if he could feel her eyes, he turned, shooting her a crooked smile; she could feel her cheeks heating up. “But...He is a jerk.”

“Um hmm....”

“That’s just ridiculous....that’s just....” She needed to answer, to respond with something, but she didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t breathe. “He doesn’t like me like that.” Seemed safe enough.

Ximena raised her eyebrows, looking entirely unconvinced. “Um hmm....”

Ellie snuck another glance at Colt, stomach falling. How did this happen?

Before she could process it, before she could think, Ximena had glided away, sliding through the crowd.

She needed to get out of here. She needed-

“Hey, troublemaker.”

Logan stood before her, with that smile that could launch a thousand ships. She didn’t even notice him approach but it was impossible not to grin back and return the sunshine.

“Hey, Logan.”

“You wanna dance?”

Yes. Yes, she did, nodding frantically. A dance was just what she needed to get her mind off of...off of...other things. She wanted her mind off anything that was not Logan. He clasped their hands together as they made their way through the dance floor.

She was so glad that he was an amazing dancer; it made it hard to think of boys who drove motorcycles and tried to help her through her stupid fears and teenage angst and...she smiled up at Logan as he twirled her around, trying to focus on him and the beat and anything other than Ximena’s words, echoing around her head.

He pressed against her back, hands wrapped tight around her waist; she found one of those hands and curled her fingers around his, holding on as the music moved through them and their bodies melded together. He leaned down, hair brushing against her ear, cheeks touching, and she smiled. She could totally do this.

And then she looked up.

At the edge of the crowd, Colt stood, looking through the dancing masses, the gyrating bodies, through it all, right at them, right at Logan. Ellie could feel the heat of his glare from across the room, face roiling with anger or jealousy or some mishmash of negative emotions that Ellie couldn’t help but feel responsible for, couldn’t help but want to wipe off his face. Damn, he was pissed.

And then he looked at her.

It felt like the wind was knocked out of her. Ellie stopped dancing, hips stilling, and their eyes met across the floor. His expression fell, angry glare fading until the pretense, the mask, the carefully crafted persona had left. And, in its place, it was just Colt, his sad eyes watching her, the hurt plain as day on his face. He held her gaze for a moment and, after a quick glance around, he gave a forced smile and spun around, walking away.

Ellie stood in shock, staring at the space where he had just been.

“Ellie?” Logan spoke softly in her ear before he craned his neck to get a good look at her face. “You ok?”

The only thing she knew was that she couldn’t just stand there. “I’m sorry, I have to-” Her mind was racing. “I’ll be back.”

With that, she pushed through the crowd, getting jostled as she ran into dancers and ravers, shoes sticking to the mess on the floor as she ducked and dodged, following Colt’s path outside. Finally, she burst out the side of the club, entering a small alleyway leading to more dark industrial buildings, the slam of the door echoing around her.

“Christ!” Colt stared at her, standing next to the wall. “The hell are you doing?”

“I thought you left.”

He leaned back against the wall, slouched low, dropping his head back against the bricks. “I just wanted some air, Jesus.” He looked at her through his lashes. “Why would you even come out here? You’re shooting yourself in the foot again.”

She could only look at him, mouth open but no words coming out. She didn’t even know what she wanted to say, what she could say.

“Ellie?” He pushed off the wall to walk over to her. “What’s wrong?”

The words weren’t coming. She didn’t know if she could get her kiss anymore, didn’t know how to say that things were all wrong and weird and somewhere along the way she messed up and didn’t know how to fix it.

“Ellie, just go back in there and dance with him.”

“I can’t.” The words were pulled from her. “Colt...”

He stepped closer, eyebrows raised. The alleyway was dim, shadows hovering over his face; she could just make out his eyes trained on her, expectant, waiting.

“Colt...” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I want to kiss Logan anymore.”

He paused, jaw clenched; his next words were measured, even. “Why not, Ellie?”

“I think I messed up.”

She took a breath, night air filling her lungs. She needed to continue, needed to say something, some apology, some question, something that would stop her stomach from falling to her toes as she stared at him. But before she could even speak, the door opened behind her. She spun to watch Logan jump out, eyes flickering between the two of them. “You ok, Ellie?”

Colt grimaced as if was physically painful to speak. “Logan, can you just give us one-”

He didn’t even get the question out before the door slammed open again as Mona rushed into the alley. She looked between the three of them and her face fell. “Why is no one naked?”

“What?” Ellie blinked at her.

Mona waved her hands towards Logan and Colt. “They aren’t even beating each other up! What did I come out here for?”

Colt shrugged, palms up in front of him. “I don’t know! What did you come out here for, Mo-”

The door crashed open again and Toby darted out, Ximena close behind. “What’s going on? What did we miss?”

“Christ. You know what?” Colt put his hands over his temples, shaking his head. “This is insane. I’m going back in.” With one last look at Ellie, he pushed through the crew to open the door and storm back into the club, slamming it behind him. Ellie looked at the rest of the crew in turn, shoving her hands in her pocket, the group falling into an awkward silence,

Mona frowned, sigh heavy in the alley. “Well, that was anticlimactic. I need another drink.” She caught Ximena’s eye. “Anyone else?”

“Oooh, me, me!” Toby grinned. “I was just in the middle of inventing this new dance move and it’s a cross between the worm and the moonwalk. I’m gonna call it the Backwards Caterpillar.”

Ximena smiled gently at Ellie before taking Toby’s arm and following Mona. She watched them file inside until it was just her and Logan, standing in the darkness.

He stepped closer, smiling. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Was she fine? “Do you want to go back in?”

“Yeah, we can go back.” He stopped with a hand on the door handle, turning back to her with a smile. “Actually, I wanted to ask, before everyone else we know barges back out here again. Do you want to grab dinner with me tomorrow? I feel like I’ve barely seen you all week.”

She felt a flash of guilt, heavy under her skin. She hadn’t really talked to Logan since her driving test. “Yeah, sure.” And maybe she needed a night away from everyone else too, maybe it would do her some good. She slid under Logan’s arm as he opened the door, heading back towards the music and the noise and the actual confusion that her life had become.

Tags: @deimosensblog @alegria1580 @choicesarehard@thefarrari@client-327 @moonlit-girl-wonder@going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @hazah@flowerpowell@poeticscolt@brightpinkpeppercorn @zaira-oh-zaira@desiree-0816@leelee10898@maxwellsquidsuit@liamzigmichael4ever@octobereighth@omgjasminesimone @waytooattuned @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction @emichelle

#playchoices fanfic #colt kaneko #colt x mc #choices rod #amy writes

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leelee10898 · 5 years ago

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Chikara: Zenshin suru (2/?)

Summary:Moving forward. At least thats what Ellie is trying to do. Meanwhile Colt finds trouble back home. Catch up HERE. If you would like added to the tag list, let me know.

Raiting: Mature. This series deals with violence, angst, death, sexual situations and bad choices. Read at your own risk.

Ellie sat up in disbelief oh you have got to be kidding me she flopped back down on the bed. "Oooh come on Ellie, its gonna be so much fun." Ellie rolled her eyes as she was lifted up off the bed. "Seriously Ingrid, how the hell did you end up in here? You had a different roommate." Ellie groaned, could her luck get any worse? A horribly emotional Thanksgiving, and now this, she was convinced someone hated her.

"Well," Ingrid flipped her hair and sat on ellies bed "I put in for a new roommate before Thanksgiving. She was horrible, she used to microwave liver, the dorm smelled like burnt rotten sneakers." She pointed her finger to her throat, making a gagging sound. "So they called with this opening and well, here I am!" She perked up. "Come on, there's a party tonight in the dorms across the quad, lets go."

"A party? God no. I'm really not in the mood to party, it was a long, long break and a long flight, you go on without me this time ok. " Ellie refused.

"No can do! I have watched you mope around this campus like a sad little puppy dog. It stops now! Get up, get your ass dressed." Ellie eyed Ingrid in disbelief, was she really going to allow her high school rival boss her around. She stared at Ingrid a moment longer, arms folded against her chest. "Fiiiiiiine!" She got up and started getting ready. Once she was fully dressed she grabbed Colts jacket and walked out the door.

They walked into the crowded halls of the building across the quad. The music pumping throughout, kegs in many of the rooms and almost everyone had a red solo cup in hand. "Want a beer?" Ingrid tried talking over the loud music. "No. I don't drink." She shouted back, Ingrid shrugged her shoulders "suit yourself." Ingrid paraded Ellie around, introducing her to so many people. She felt oddly out of place, but if she was going to try and move on, she figured maybe this was a start. What she wouldn't give to have Riya here with her now, but Riya was a little over an hour away at hartfeld. They were standing there talking to some girl Ingrid knew when two guys approached, one with Dark blonde hair, the other a brunette with stunning blue eyes. The girl walked away leaving the two of them, with the two guys. "Looking good Ingrid." The blonde smirked as he leaned in kissing Ingrid's cheek. "Kyle, this is Ellie. Ellie, kyle." Ellie gave him a shy wave. "Nice to meet you Ellie, this is my friend Nick." Kyle introduced the two.

Ingrid and Kyle were caught up in an intense, flirtatious conversation, leaving Ellie and Nick standing there. "So. You don't look like you want to be here." Nick finally broke the silence. "I'm not really into the whole party scene." She admitted. "Neither am I, I only came because Kyle wanted to see Ingrid." He chuckled as he stood next to Ellie. "Yeah. Ingrid drug me out. Still getting used to being friends with her, after being rivals for so long."

"Oh, so you two knew each other before college?" He quirked his brow, seemingly interested in having a conversation with her. "Yeah. We went to the same high school. Battled for valedictorian our senior year."

Nick leaned in a little closer. "And which one of you won it?" His voice low and Intoxicating. She bit her lower lip. Trying to stop the huge grin from spreading across her face. "I bet it was you. You got that smart and beautiful thing going for you." Her face was now beat red. "Beautiful huh?" She tried to even her voice, praying he didn't hear the slight tremor. "I call it how I see it. And you Ellie, are probably the most beautiful woman here." Ellie turned a deep shade of crimson, it had been a while since anyone flirted with her. She couldn't help but think about Colt, what he was doing in that moment, wondering if he even thought of her at all anymore. Ellie mentally reprimanded herself, she was trying to move on with her life, she needed to stop pretending that she and Colt were anything but a distant memory now. "Hey Nick, wanna dance?" Nick smiled wide "Lets do it."

****

California…

Colt climb off his bike and stashed it, he made his way quickly down the familiar street and ducked in the side through the loose boards. He had been coming to the shop here and there for a few months, ever since the heat from the FBI died down. He hadn't been in a couple weeks, he spent Thanksgiving break with his mom and he was itching to get back to the shop and continue his treasure hunt. He started in the back of the shop, mostly sticking to the private quarters. His pop wasn't like a regular blue collar guy, he didn't use a bank except for the legit auto shop account. Everything else he had was hidden in the shop like In the walls where one or more of his great grandparents installed a fireproof safe, Loose floorboards, hollowed out cabinets with a removable panel. Colt had found the deed to the garage, a copy of Kaneko's will leaving everything to him, the original he was certain in a safe deposit box somewhere, he knew he would have to piece clues together, it was what his dad did. He also found Several stacks of money, bonds and other property deeds.

He climbed the steps to Logans loft. He had yet to go up there, the bitter taste of Jealousy still thick on his tongue. He hated Logan from the moment he met him, he hated that a pretty boy was his father's prize poodle, he had the nice car, the good jobs, and he had Ellie eating out of the palm of his hand. He snorted, a smirk forming on his lips when that changed. He swore he could still feel the softness of her lips pressed against his, her arms wrapped tightly around him as they lost themselves in the pacific.

Colt walked through the room, stepping over debris, a gaping hole in the roof letting the moonlight shine in giving him some natural light.

He found a metal box under the burnt bed frame, he had to pry it open, not much inside except a few slips of paper and a flash drive. He checked his phone, 9pm. He had been there longer then he should. He pocketed the flash drive and descend the stairs to the bay. His eyes landed on something glimmering in the moonlight. He reached down to pick up the item, his heart caught in his chest as he realized what it was.

******

The day he took Ellie to her driving test, he wandered around inside the dmv, waiting for her to finish up. He knew she would pass, she was a natural. A rack of keychains sat displayed in front of him, he fumbled through them until he found the perfect one.

He waited outside as Ellie bounced out of the DMV, a freshly printed license in hand. "I passed, I passed!" She squealed as she threw her arms around Colts neck. "Congratulations. Here I got you something." He held out the silver crown keychain. Ellie looked between him and the key chain, as she took it out of his hand "thank you colt. But why a crown?" Colt shrugged his shoulders, "I'll tell you later, now come on let's get back to the shop."

*******

How did it get here? He knew Ellie had it on her keychain when she left for school, she hadn't been back to the shop after that night, unless. Unless she was there, sometime while he was away. He felt the lump in this throat grow bigger, she was there and he could have seen her. In that moment the need to see her, to feel her in his arms, to hear her voice, taste the sweetness of her lips. It was all too much to bare. He shook the thoughts from his head, she was at Langston, safely away from the crime ridden streets of LA, it wouldn't be long until he was with her again.

He put the keychain in his pocket, along with the flash drive and headed to where he stashed his bike a few blocks over. He kept looking over his shoulder, a nagging feeling he was being followed. He got to his stash spot, attempting to quickly climb on his bike and start it and thats when he hit him. Colt crashed to the ground with a thud, his bike coming with him. He had just enough time to roll as his attacker came down on him with a knife. He sprang to his feet, adrenaline coursing through him. His assailant charged forward, colt side stepping, grabbing the attacker by the arm, bringing his elbow down on his shoulder, the knife hitting the ground with a clatter.

The man clutched his shoulder, crying out in pain. "Wrong choice buddy. Guess you don't know who I am?" Colt spat as the man turned, baring a rage filled face. "I don't ask names, I do what im told." He circled Colt, looking for his opening when his fist connected hard with Colts jaw. The attacker grabbed the knife, as colt lunged forward, tackling him to the ground. Colts first landing blow after blow, the man lifted his hand, slicing into colts side. Fuck! Colt screamed out in pain, it only fueled his rage further as he screamed "Who sent you?" he screamed as he twisted his body bringing the mans arm behind him,incapacitating him. "Arg, not going. To tell you." Colt shook his head as he pulled his arm further behind him. "Ahhh. Wallace. His names wallace." Satisfied colt released his hold on the man, shoving him to the ground. "Of course he didnt give you a fucking name. The little bitch. He knew you'd never fucking do it." Colt circled the man, stalking him like a lion and he was his prey. The man looked up at him confused, A devious smirk played on his lips, "the names Kaneko." He let the name set in. "I'm thinking the letters M.P.C are flashing in your mind right now aren't they?" The man sat there, paralyzed in fear. "Now, you run and tell all your friends, that MPC still runs things." The man nodded his head and took off.

Colt clutched his side, the realization that he was hurt crashing down on him at once. He hopped on his bike, flying down the highway to the only place he could think to go.

He pulled up to a small house in a backwoods California town, Killed the engine and walked to the house. He reached the door, banging harder than necessary. "Colt. What the hell are you doing here?" The voice spoke through the latched door. "I know. I'm sorry but, its an emergency." He pulled his blood covered hand from his side. "I need your help."

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#chikara rod fan fic #ride or die bad boy romance #choices ride or die #choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #colt x ellie #colt kaneko #rod colt #colt x mc #i love colt kaneko #leelee10898 fan fic

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