#i know its asking a lot for online fandom people to not take their hobby so seriously [tale as old as time] but still | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wrongcaitlyn · 7 months ago

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odd question, first time talk your talk reader here! so we kinda know nico just hates interviews and other than being spotted on his friend’s social medias + random bursts of being active online, he kinda just goes silent right? like mostly he’s private (like how people didnt know his birthday and stuff until apollo announced it)

how much like personal life things about nico does his fandom know? has anyone been like sleuthing trying to find out about his family and connected him to hades’ business or is everyone just making up convoluted stuff as a joke to respect his privacy?? 😭 (i FEAR him being outed)

its just a little silly to think about the angels making insane lore pipelines connecting nico to all these random celebrities and such, and then someone asks “whats his dads name” and the fandom collectively just shrugs like idk thats his life i dont need to know about it!

YES. YES. YES. KASJDFSDF I LOVE THAT

okay yes so basically he's like that person you know a bunch of superficial details abt, like hobbies and interests and friends and whatnot, but then you realize you don't even know if they have siblings. that's nico.

he's a MASTER at shifting topics in conversations to things he'd rather talk about, whether that's about a book he read, or song recs, or some random story abt him and his friends - that most people cling on so much to those details that they don't even consider his family!

i mean, it's pretty implied, at least in his award acceptance speeches and whatnot that he doesn't have a good relationship with his parents, seeing as he only ever thanks apollo and talks about apollo's family as his family - so i imagine that most fans probably just go along with that, and some even think that apollo is his dad or something.

according to google, there are also like 600+ people with the last name di angelo. it's not an incredibly uncommon last name, and some people may even assume that it's just a stage name, not his actual last name - so i don't think that they would ever actually be able to connect nico to his father's work, or his mother and sister's death in venice. after all, nico di angelo doesn't even have a sister, right? and he's never mentioned his mom dying. oh, and also that that was his deadname that was recorded as being the only survivor of that incident. so unintentionally, him being trans also covered up a lot of his history. anyone who may have known him as a kid (even though he mostly stuck with bianca) wouldn't recognize the popstar (yk, partly because he just grew up but also because of the transition and change of name)

i think that there probably are a few fans who really try to dig deeper (because there always will be some who take it too far), but they'll just keep reaching dead ends. at least, with the information he put out online, and nothing more, there's really nothing to find - he's always been seein in apollo's house, with apollo's family, and most people just accept that that's all they need to know about him

AND THIS IS EXACTLY CORRECT LIKE THAT'S HOW I IMAGINE THE FANDOMSDFJS who cares what his dad's name is?? who cares if his parents are even alive!!! he makes slay music and is besties with the apollo family that's all they need to know

plus i do think it's more interesting for them to try and find his connections to some other celebrity rather than his own parents. like most people probably assume that it's online, but they just never actually look bc they don't care that much

thank you for the ask!! and to calm your fears, nico will NOT be outed in this fic. i can promise you that. he will come out on his own terms!!

#any other characters though... can't make promises there #wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk asks

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jet-bradley · 2 years ago

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ok 1) fuck the rupaul sponsored ad 2) do you ever do something and realize it meant a lot to someone else and feel like a complete fucking idiot for not reading that it meant a lot to them. i watched a die hard movie with my dad and brother that they have been asking to see since christmas but ive not felt up to it until now and it was always ohh im at work till late ohh im sick but i finally sat down and watched it with them and it turns out my dad was refusing to turn off the christmas tree until we watched it together. because he doesnt have my mom anymore and he has two kids who he let the internet raise and neither of us ever wanna do anything. and im aware of this on a surface level but i always still end up not fucking doing anything with them or the moment we spend time together i end up back fucking online a second later. and even when i'm there i'm not really there because im always in my fucking head thinking about god knows what fucking nothing probably. just consumed in thoughts about whatever game i've been playing or whatever homework assignment i have to do next and i can never sit back and enjoy a fucking moment. i cant even go on hikes without fucking thinking about my stupid fandoms or some bullshit math problem or like my assignments. and i completely miss basic signals from people like "i want to spend time with you because it's the first christmas with an empty part of the bed." im always fucking withdrawn and distant from everyone and its all because im too engrossed in literally anything else. getting offline is like a band-aid at this point, i'd still just distract myself thinking about my hobbies and my work because i cant fucking connect to people through anything else. and the real irony is this overthinking is exactly the fucking problem. because i'm alone in my room right now even though i know i'll have no fucking shortage of time being alone once i'm back at school i still have to isolate myself from everybody as soon as im fucking upset. because even though one parent who caused the goddamn problem is dead and the other's changed over the last seven years, i can't fucking stomach the thought of my own family seeing me cry.

i take everything fucking personally for someone who cant even read basic fucking signals from people.

#i think the holidays r for age regressing #because i sure the fuck am acting like a fifteen year old right now

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highdio · 2 years ago

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I got an ask about the model boat that DIO's building as he and Pucci hang out and talk about the stand ‘Survivor’ in Part 6. The scene deserves its own post because it's the basis for one of my least-favorite wrong takes: that Dio is re-living a trauma by re-creating a "shipwreck" scene. Also no dw anon I don't think you implied this. This take's been repeated so often and without reflection that it's wound up being treated as something canon, check out this TV tropes entry to see how reflexively it gets parroted:

Dio's building a model ship in the middle of a wreck??? Fanon takes can take on a life of their own and, in Dio's case, so many people know his character through the caricature constructed around and outside of the canon instead of through how Araki actually wrote and drew him. So I'm going to break down the actual Part 6 scene to examine how we wound up so far from the truth of what's actually going on in it.

1. The first thing we need to get clear is whether Dio's model even resembles the ship he killed Jonathan on in Part 1, and the short answer is no, it doesn't. For reference here's the model:

and here's the ship from Part 1:

Both are hybrid sail/steam (implied on the model by the paddle wheels even though there's no smokestacks) but the ill-fated ocean liner that took Jonathan and Erina 1/2 way across the Atlantic is a lot bigger and grander. The OVA adaptation's helpful because it’s spot-on faithful to the manga:

It's gigantic, you can see three full decks and two large smokestacks, along with elaborate baroque-looking detailing all over the stern end. Dio's model ship looks entirely different. It's simple by comparison and, were it scaled up to full size, it'd still be a lot smaller (check out the model rowboats and their oars around it for size reference).

So it's not clear that the model Dio's building is even a callback to Part 1 or some sort of easter egg on Araki's part (after looking at the two ships side-by-side my gut tells me it’s not). Keep that in mind as we step through how much the scene's gotten mangled in fanon.

Like I said, the model-building panels form the basis for an oft-repeated bad take you see a lot online, where people say it's a "shipwreck" scene (I guess because there's rowboats around it?) and, therefore, a re-enactment of trauma. Ofc that's bogus. The ship's fine, and rowboats are how crew come ashore whenever a tall ship drops anchor. There's even a lighthouse and the ship is resting in a tranquil harbor. The anime version of the scene shows these details clearly:

Hopefully it's easy to see the scene for what it is: Dio engaged in the most mundane hobby you can think of, while having a leisurely conversation with his BFF. As Pucci explains it, they're talking like children ranking their favorite action heroes by how strong they are. It's a very chill little scene, remarkable for how unremarkable it would be if this wasn't DIO and Pucci.

It's worth including the official digital color version here too because, apparently, they forgot DIO was a vampire and gave the scene a cheery sunlit mood by making the sky outside the windows as blue as day:

It's a mistake ofc but it also underscores the relaxed feel to the scene: out of context, the day-lit color choice feels natural because the scene's got such a comfy vibe.

So how do we get from a chill guy chilling (canon) to a guy re-living a trauma (fanon)? Answer is, ofc, projection.

It's a fandom thing to need a villain's evilness to be justified - explained (excused?) in a way - through past trauma, say, or a series of unavoidable circumstances (or maybe some valid ideology they hold). A villain's villainy is only legitimized, validated, or complex enough *if* they've earned it by having a "good enough" reason to act bad. In Dio's case, where 'bad' is a wild understatement, some fans simply need him to be hurt, traumatized, or otherwise sufficiently suffering in ways that Araki just never intended. And this need is so strong it can override what's in front of their own eyes, even where the author and the text suggest the exact opposite.

In this way the Survivor scene acts as a Rorschach test where some people see the traces of trauma where there are none - in fact, it's the one scene where DIO seems most at ease, relaxed and unguarded (and ofc without his "shadow"). As such the scene and its misreading encompasses a lot of that's wrong about how fanon can sometimes view Dio and a lot of what's right about how Araki wrote him.

_____________________________________________________

Thanks to the anime there's an additional coda to all this. The Survivor scene in the Stone Ocean anime is faithful to the manga, but there's a twist: DavidPro gives us a sort of 'easter egg in reverse.' Remember the grand multi-deck ship Jonathan and Erina left for their honeymoon on? Here's the anime version, from all the way back in Season 1:

It looks a lot like Dio's model.

So here we have something from the manga that's likely not originally a callback getting turned into part of a callback, but in reverse order since the callback gets shown four seasons prior.

Of course, none of that negates the fact that the Stone Ocean anime scene is remains one of safety and comfort. The model ship isn't wrecked and DIO and Pucci are at their most relaxed and conversational. The scene hasn't been reshaped into any indice of trauma. What you have then is a fun little callback for the observant, and with it a wicked re-contextualization of this panel:

Now it’s become Dio towering over a model of the ship he killed everyone on. And somehow this feels appropriate: Dio's got a gift for casually being a jackass when referring back to some of the worst things that he's done. Aside from the obvious comparing human lives to slices of bread, a good example is this panel where he refers to Zeppeli's horrific death in the most deliberately offhand way:

So, anime Dio leisurely building a model resembling the ship he accidently destroyed while killing and then desecrating the body of the only man to ever defeat him? It feels right in character: a subtle nod to one of the many calamities he's caused. Assuming the viewer's more Joestar-sympathetic than me, I feel like what Dio's doing here and, on a meta level, what DavidPro either intentionally or unintentionally is doing is having some fun at the viewer's expense.

#jjba #dio talk #jojo's bizarre adventure #stone ocean #dio brando #dioposts #mp #jojo #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jonathan joestar #so anime

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xnchxntmxnt · 2 years ago

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ok, got it! so, firstly, congratulations. 🎉🥳 you're such an underrated writer and you're unbelievably talented. i hope i get to see you grow even more!

now, for the event, may i have, a fluffy renga x reader + Million Days (Acoustic) feat. Hoang & Claire Ridgely?

thanks in advance, take your time and take care.

thank you so much for the love i really appreciate it <3 and this song is so beautiful!! i love it a lot its on my playlist <3

Million Days

Fandom: Sk8 The Infinity

Characters: Reki Kyan + Langa Hasegawa

Warnings: poly renga. lots of fluff n kisses

Notes: the self indulgence in this is insane ,,, guitarist reki my beloved

gn!reader

Reblogs > likes

You knew full well there were three things Reki Kyan loved more than life itself.

1, skateboarding.

2, you.

3, your and his boyfriend, Langa Hasegawa.

Not necessarily in that order.

However, recently, he’d picked up a new hobby. For the last few months, whenever you visited, Koyomi sat and complained about how she was tired of hearing him slamming the strings of his guitar.

As funny as it was listening to her complain, you were quite curious to hear how all this practice was coming along. Anytime you or Langa asked he brushed it off and changed the subject as fast as possible. You were sure he wasn’t hiding anything because he would talk about it once in a while, but he didn’t seem to want to play anything in front of either of you. You figured he was nervous—not many people could play in front of a crowd, even if it was only the two of you.

Until today, at least.

He invited you over a few days prior, saying he had some sort of surprise. So when you sat on his bed (Langa curled up and laying in your lap), you grinned as he pulled out his guitar.

“You playing something, Reki?” Langa asked, picking up his head slightly.

“Nah, im just gonna make you stare at me while i make no noise,” he said sarcastically, no real venom behind his words.

You scoffed and blew him a kiss from across the room. “Whatcha playing, then? Anything we know?”

“Just something I found online a couple of weeks ago, nothing super special, I think it’s pretty.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” you cut in, shooting him a reassuring look. He had a nasty habit of playing down his interests, so you did all you could to make him feel as special as you and Langa both knew he was. “I’m sure it's great.”

He smiled but didn't say anything, fidgeting and tuning. “Koyomi hates when I do this too loud, it's funny. Gets all sorts of mad because she says it’s ‘the same boring crap over and over’.”

“I mean this in the nicest way possible: your sister is boring because i like your song.”

“Langa, im not playing anything. I’m just tuning.”

“Oh…”

You laughed and kissed Langa’s head. “Idiot.”

He pouted at you, but you knew he wasn't upset. Hard to be upset when he looked so comfortable and you were playing with his hair.

Reki fidgeted with his phone for a minute or so before turning back to the two of you. “You’re not allowed to judge, alright, because its not great.”

“Reki.”

“it’s not wonderful, but im proud og myself and i wanted to show you—”

“Reki.”

“What?”

You smiled at him. “I'm sure it’s amazing, babe.” Langa nodded, reaffirming your statement. “Just play. I won’t look right at you if that would make you less nervous.”

“That would help, actually.”

“Got it.”

You looked away, suddenly finding a very interesting pattern of glow-in-the-dark star stickers you’d seen a million times before. He fidgeted for a minute or two longer before he finally started playing. And then singing.

I don't do this often You caught me off guard All of my friends said you moved out west You tell me stories underneath sun sets Could it be more than just one night? Kiss in the cab ride Head turning left right Get a ticket for two To wherever you choose Drinking some red out of the blue

You weren’t sure if you’d ever heard him sing by himself. If he did, it was always with the radio, and he never cared how he sounded. Instead, now, he sounded nice. Not a perfect, angel-like voice but one that was warm and comforting.

For only playing for a few months, he sounded good. And singing and playing at the same time was harder than doing one or the other, so you had to applaud him for that.

Hey boy Trust my intuitions Always I'm not superstitious I got lucky Stole your heart And it was mine for the taking

He played through the end of the song, letting the strings ring out. Reki refused to look up at you—at first, at least. He set his guitar down and swiped out the app on his phone, before finally turning toward the two of you.

“So…?’

You weren’t sure about Langa, but you knew you had a wide grin on his face. If you were smart before he started playing you would have recorded it and kept it for yourself (and maybe Langa) because the way he played it was a perfect song to fall asleep to.

You held your hand out to him wordlessly, and when he sat next to the two of you on his bed, you grabbed his face and kissed him all over. “That was amazing, sweetheart! You're so talented.”

“Eh, i kinda screwed up my words in the—”

Any other words were lost against your lips. When he started that, you found it was easier to shut him up and then reassure him. “It was wonderful. I mean it.”

He looked to langa for approval as well. He smiled at the two of you and kissed reki’s knuckles. “I really like your voice,” he said stretching upward for a kiss.

He obliged, then laid his head on your shoulder. “I was so nervous to do that,” he sighed, burying his face in your arm. “You two are lucky i love you.”

“Yes, yes we are.”

“Love you too, red.”

“You guys are making me blush, stop it!”

taglist

@sirimirihiro @emswordss @b3tterth4nm3 @otaku-thingz @kodzukoi @tama-jam + @rudolphsboyfriend reki for u luv <3 /p

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cyndavilachase · 5 years ago

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I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended…

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant.

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation.

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers.

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt.

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely.

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that.

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.

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narrativelysignificantturtleduck · 2 years ago

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[id: tumblr post from user mostly-mundane-atla with an anonymous ask reading "maybe look up the ttrpg and see how good/bad it is at representation for the water tribes/circumpolar people?" mostly-mundane responds "Maybe consider this is blog a hobby and i don't owe you guys anything?"]

i don't want to add this to the actual post bc this is just an example of a problem i see a lot in fandom or in online activist-y communities in general, a misunderstanding of the common exhortation to "listen to marginalized people!"

like, mostly-mundane-atla posts a lot about Inupiat culture and their opinions on how avatar and its extended universe could have represented their culture better. they've also at times said that they are willing to answer questions about cultural practices/beliefs. they have been very much willing to be an educator and share their opinions and knowledge, and i know i personally have learned a lot!

in fact, i am now far more able to identify indigenous stereotypes, able to recognize things as offensive that i wouldn't have before (expressing disgust at eating raw meats/organ meats, for example, can read as racist since those are staples of circumpolar indigenous diets). i'm not going to be as attuned to these things as someone who is subject to them, but i'm certainly more aware than i was. i can make my own critiques based on what i've learned.

this person, coming into mostly-mundane-atla's askbox asking them to evaluate the avatar ttrpg for them, thinks they are being Good, asking for a marginalized person's opinion. but they're actually just ignoring the freely shared information that would help them form their own opinion. listening to marginalized people isn't about having opinions and takes spoon-fed to you. it's about learning, so that you can change your view of the world, so that you can be more capable of fighting to end their oppression.

i think it's human nature to want easy answers to things, and i think there's also a fear of saying the wrong thing and being cancelled that makes people afraid to have their own opinions on issues. they want to just find the right ones and repeat them, because it's safer. but unfortunately, it's not that easy. at the end of the day, you have to think for yourself.

#nina's personal log

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fitzrove · 3 years ago

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Endeavour Episode Titles & Obscurity

As I briefly outlined in a previous post, it has really seemed that with every new series of Endeavour, the single words making up episode titles have become less understandable - at least from my second-language English speaker perspective. And it certainly seems so at first glance - I think most everyone knows what Girl means, but what about Deguello or Zenana? :D Granted, it’s a Morse show, so some mythological and musical references are to be expected, but it really seems like things have been getting out of hand lately. Or have they really?

So, I thought I’d do some super-scientific research into this. After a brief survey, which 22 people responded to (thank you!!), I’ve come to the conclusion that reality isn’t quite as simple as “Russ Lewis got more confident to pick increasingly random big words as the series went on, and understandability steadily dropped as a result”. Have a look at this graph I made (and decided to call the Endeavour Episode Title Understandability Average Quotient, or EETUAQ):

The hypothesis does seem to be right on the fact that early series (1, 2) included very understandable words, bringing the average up to over 90% understandability. S3 marks the start of a decline, but the graph jumps back up at S5 (thanks to easy titles like Colours and Passenger, as well as well-known myths and music terms like Icarus) before the descent into non-understandability resumes. That is, if we disregard S8...

More details (such as how the graph came to be) under the cut, since I want this post to be rebloggable XD

So, as I first approached my hypothesis of title understandability dropping as Endeavour went on, I ran into a problem - how to group words into “understandable” and “not understandable”? I first looked into word frequency lists, but that data isn’t available for free for all words, and it also doesn’t take into account how understandable words seem to viewers of the show. Therefore I decided to pick a survey approach instead, asking fans of the show to check-mark all episode titles they understood out of a list. I’d trimmed down the list a little, omitting words I thought everybody would certainly know, such as Prey and Game. This is the result:

After obtaining a “understandability score” ranging from 0 to 100 for each word from these results, I calculated the self-titled “understandability quotient average” (I have no idea what quotient actually means, but I like the word) for each series separately. That is, each series’ “average understandability”: adding up that series’ episode scores and dividing them by the number of episodes. This allowed me to give each series an average understandability value, ranging from 90.9 for S1 and S2 to 42.4 for S7, and draw a graph based on those values. As S8 wasn’t included in the original questionnaire (because I forgot), I roughly extrapolated its values and therefore the average from other words’ understandabilities, considering Flowers and Octave understandable to all (100) and Lazarus as an average between Apollo and Lazaretto’s scores (65.9). Hence the dashed line in the graph XD

Naturally, native speakers (77.3% of respondents) and non-native speakers (22.7% of respondents) of English would have different ideas about what constitutes an understandable title. I found that “Pylon” especially was a point of contention in this regard, as I did not know this word before watching the episode, whereas many native speakers argued it was easy.

Out of interest and desire for “depth” in the survey, I included other “demographic questions” that inquired whether participants had any special knowledge about music, ancient history or mythology, which the show often draws its episode titles from. I also provided an opportunity to explain where else they knew some of the obscurer words from. I thought these insights would be interesting in general, so I’m sharing them here:

I think it’s charming that many people in the fandom are, in some ways, secretly (or not-so secretly) actually Morse. XD The percentage of people with “obscure degrees” (I say this with all the love as a political history student) was especially high in comparison to the general public (40.9%) and I bet that classical music as a hobby isn’t something 60% out of everyone in the world enjoys.

In the free space, many people cited other media (reading the dictionary for fun; science fiction like Stargate SG-1; the game The Arcana; the band Bastille; a love of literature in general, most exemplified by someone who wrote “I just read a lot like a gigantic nerd lol” XDD) and a love of music and mythology for knowing of the more obscure titles. All in all, I think it would be safe to assume that not everyone watching the show has these specific interests that seem to be somewhat disproportionately common in the active, online Endeavour fandom. Therefore, the title understandability scores should be seen as being on the high end, given that the sample consists of word nerds and classical music & mythology aficionados.

I guess I should put some final conclusions here... idk, mostly I really love that the fandom is so nerdy, feels like I’m right at home - and I bet many of the fic writers around have such insight into Morse for a reason ;D

Let me know what you think about these findings! Is Russ Lewis being pretentious with his titles? Does anyone know whether the episodes/episode titles he wrote for Lewis stood out from the rest? Any other stuff to say or add?

#endeavour #endeavour morse #itv endeavour #tv series #analysis #this is hard to tag lmao #fandom #my stuff

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rpbetter · 3 years ago

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I'm so tired of roleplaying with people who don't put half the commitment I do into our threads and muses. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm a weirdo or like I don't belong for that. Any other hobby and people wouldn't care if I took it seriously. Why is roleplaying different? How can I keep going like this if I'm getting rudeness from all sides? I can't even go outside my already tiny bubble and find more partners, because I always see people putting roleplayers like me down and it's exhausting.

"Why is roleplaying different?"

Well, Anon, I know that was a rhetorical question, but I have some thoughts on that. To the surprise of no one!

I strongly believe that this is an issue with how fandom has come to dominate roleplaying. As I've said before, it really wasn't always like that. Of course, you always had canon characters and almost all RPers were invested in a fandom or two. The difference was that online RP was once viewed much more like tabletop RPGs are.

When the RPC became a near-total offshoot of Fandom, a lot of shit changed and very rapidly...and within Fandom, a lot of shit was changing very rapidly as well at that time.

RP has always been something looked down on (though, at least no one ever accused written RP online of being literally demonic like they did DnD, or made correlations to murder sprees like they did LARPing, so there's that) as strange, not the good, understandable sort of dorky.

Part of that is almost certainly because of the difference in the way society views writing vs the way it views hobbies like gaming - writing is seen as an intellectual pursuit and a job, gaming, even at its most negative points of view in wider society, has been seen traditionally as a downtime activity only.

But. RP was not looked down upon from within Fandom or in roleplay communities themselves like it is now.

When the whole experience of fandoms themselves became extremely mainstream and open, it welcomed in a ton of shit ideas and behaviors that were not previously prevalent. It changed RP, too, along many of those same lines.

When your hobby is considered objectionably weird by people within the fandoms you love and RP in and that makes you a sort of lowest-tier fan, the viewpoint of RP to RPers becomes something lesser than a valid hobby. When RPers are the same people who engage with Fandom monetarily, anything not monetized is passively consumable content, including RP. And RPers are trying to both deflect shame and struggling with wider society's mixed messages, that now hit them everywhere online as well. Shit like, "you don't have to monetize your hobby, it's okay to just make really good cross stitches of memes for yourself" and "if you're not paying me, you have no control over me."

We seriously do not view RP as a proper hobby anymore, that's why. There are many factors to that, those are just few, but that's the ultimate answer. It's not seen that way because it's not valued in the same way.

I think much of the problem with muns losing their entire shit over anyone else approaching the hobby differently, dare I say...more seriously, is related to a lot of complex psychology about self-esteem, control, and anxiety. So many people here struggle with serious self-worth and confidence issues, and I think to many of them, whether they realize it or not, when they see serious RPers, they feel like that's an inherent judgment and a danger to their own enjoyment. Because RP, as writing, is a skilled hobby - the more you practice it, the more skilled you become with it. Meaning that someone who approaches the writing seriously is going to be at a higher skill level.

Enter the way we're training to think about writing again - when they see someone who is very practiced, skilled, and confident with their writing, the learned idea is that they're somehow superior in a nasty, personal way.

I most certainly do not think that makes it alright, it isn't, and I'm not very tolerant of it.

It's absolutely alright to engage with RP in any way you see fit. If that's extremely casual, it's a minor hobby for you, that's great! I'm so happy you're enjoying yourself, and I mean that in no facetious way. But not when that is the only form of it respected and accepted. It's just as alright to have RP as your primary, serious hobby!

The only way we can all enjoy a hobby with such great variance within it is by respecting each other's variables, not by vilifying them. It's recognizing that, no matter how much you enjoy the mun and/or muse, they're not engaging with the hobby in the way you are, it's not a good fit to write together. (Please, begging y'all to be friends with those who are different, not enemies, shit's sake. You've not got to write together to be friends!) Instead of labeling them and being hateful. Different =/= a threat.

And, to go off a bit lol y'all demonizing serious RPers really don't get that there are some intense tones of ableism and more going on in that narrative of yours, huh?

Not that anyone requires a reason to be serious about any hobby, but when people pick a hobby like RP as their primary one...you should probably have the maturity to consider why that is. Could it be that they focus on a hobby they can do from their homes and that requires low physical involvement, and has a degree of separation from direct socializing, for a reason?

Serious RPers tend to be limited in their ability to pursue other hobbies. Mental and physical health, region, finances, and ability to spend time outside of the home are all very common limits for those who "take RP too seriously/are addicted to RP."

Maybe take five seconds away from your own issues to consider that the person you're shitting on for something so minor as a difference of importance of a hobby might be the full-time caretaker of a special needs child, having to remain home and on a very small income. They might be chronically ill or suffer from agoraphobia. They might live in an area with no hobbies of interest, affordability, or at all...or they might live somewhere that is incredibly dangerous for them.

I honestly do not know where these people have been that they've been aggressed at by serious RPers, but that's usually the excuse. (I'm not saying it has never happened or does not happen, before anyone goes there.) The idea that serious RPers are extreme elitists who are demanding that other muns do what they do, how they do it. That they expect other muns to be online and RPing all the time, that they be "available for entertainment at all times" at the cost of real-life matters. Having the expectation that threads not be dropped constantly or that a writing partner not leave for months with no contact is neither of those things.

In over two decades of RPing across almost every platform type that has existed, I have literally never seen that be either a singular RPer-type problem or one that serious RPers are even more likely to deal in. I've seen the opposite, actually. Which is not a condemnation or a statement that all casual RPers do this, just what my experience has been. And one that actually stands to reason based on the way they view and engage with RP - quick replies, quick entertainment, and very low commitment to threads, muses, or other muns. Of course, it's annoying to them when a more serious RPer is unwilling to do rapid-fire style quick, short threads from an ask with them, but is writing the lengthy replies they already owed instead.

That's probably a factor as well, in here among a plethora of misunderstanding/unawareness of differences - for many serious RPers, it's not easier and more fun to write short, quick threads. So, what a casual RPer is seeing is that they're willing to put all this extraordinary effort into a massive reply to someone else while their easy, fun, quickly done thread is waiting in line.

Misunderstandings and unawareness breed hostility, period. And there is a hell of a lot of those things in the RPC.

What serious RPers are expressing are either boundaries/expectations or frustration. Not a demand that you be around all the time, but an expectation that you leave them alone if you're not also a serious RPer who will be committed to threads and muses. Not hostility and elitism, the frustration that it's already difficult to find muns who will work out before you add in the majority rule of casual RPers.

It's incredibly disheartening, frustrating, and honestly, a bit anxiety-inducing to constantly be the weird one, always have few choices, and to be at risk of being Problematic purely because you take the hobby seriously. You can't vent without someone jumping on your ass to remind you (even if you said numerous times that "real life comes first" and "people can do what they want") that omg, people have lives, people can do what makes them happy, it's just RP.

It's so upsetting when you think you might have found a good writing partner, then, you see a PSA they've reblogged about how it's a "hobby, not a jobby," and "no one owes anyone anything, ever." Excuse me, as that last one is a direct quote, let me redo it so it is verbatim: "no one owes anyone here anything - EVER !!!"

I said I wasn't very tolerant :)

But seriously, exactly what you've expressed is why I'm not...it's another form of controlling others instead of trying your best to control your own experience, and it's often extremely hateful. I'm not tolerant of anything like that, it's no longer supporting preferences at that point. When your preference is the only one that will be tolerated in the community, it's not a preference anymore.

It's something that makes others feel isolated, afraid of harassment, and depressed. It is a hobby and it isn't supposed to make you feel like that!

And, no, absolutely the fuck not lol the "answer" to this isn't that you're taking it too seriously and need to take a break. I'm so tired of seeing that shit tacked onto RPH responses and vents and PSAs. You're not saying that RP is making you feel this way, "just take a break and come back when you agree with everyone else" isn't a solution.

Of course, if you do feel like your time here has become so upsetting? Yeah, obviously, you should try to find some other things to supplement your downtime that make you feel happier again. Engage in some other forms of writing just meant for yourself, or that can be published as fics. Spend some more time on a game you enjoy for a while, or get invested in a new one. Learn to shape bonsai or make no-knead rolls. Whatever would make you happy as a hobby when you're not here.

Other than that, however, well...we're not going to be implying on this blog that you're too serious and need to take a hiatus until you have no emotional investment in your hobby. That's insane. I'd not say it about hiking, martial arts, dog obedience competitions, hobby farming, or painting either.

I wish I could think of some solutions as to where you could look that wasn't like this, but it's definitely the majority of the RPC. It doesn't help that, due to this, serious RPers have a tendency to quietly stick together and not venture out into the RPC. They're just not incredibly easy to find.

I will say that they tend to be:

novella - if you're not here for serious RP and sticking around for a while, you're not going to invest the time and energy into particularly lengthy writing

older RPers - I would say that twenty-five is probably the youngest, with early thirties to late forties being the majority

in fandoms with a large adult base of fans - even if it's a franchise friendly to, or even meant for, younger fans, if it has a particularly active adult fanbase, it's a better chance of finding serious RPers in it

as above, old fandoms - fandoms that have been around for a long time tend to have more serious RPers in them

fandomless OCs - tend to have a higher chance of being written by serious RPers than canons or heavily fandom-involved OCs

RPers who do not do a ton of advertising for their muse(s), but when they do, they don't advertise them based on activism points or trends

slightly more likely to not have an emphasis on highly aesthetic blogs, graphics, icons etc. - they use a modified basic tumblr theme, low on graphics, their aesthetics are not on-trend, for example

anti-content policing/"write what you want" style muns

muns with more extensive rules pages - they plan to be here for a while, they take writing, RP, and their muse(s) seriously, so, it's a bit more important to them to head off problems before they start

those with older characters/FCs - be that literally in age or the character being one that has existed for a long time

"stay in your lane" style muns - if they're opining on fandom or the RPC, they must really be angry about something

those with numerous and detailed headcanons - for example, their response to a HC meme ask like, "what's your muse's favorite ice cream flavor?" is going to be treated seriously, not simply answered with "mint chocolate chip because my bby is gross"

As usual, not a complete or perfect list. I don't fit some of the things on there! It could give you some things to look for when trying to find other serious RPers, though. It's based on observances from someone who was never a casual RPer, even as a minor (me, obviously), and maybe it could at least keep you from continuously running into hostility about your approach to RP.

I've honestly considered making a list of some sort expressly for RPers who are on the more serious end of the spectrum, but...in a RPC back when things were dominated by serious RPers, I did that sort of thing with a RPH I had, and it still got labeled as being a list for and by Elitists. I don't know that anyone would want to put themselves out there for potential harassment on tumblr, you know? It was a joke then, just having a group of RPers label you as an Elitist. Here, you get told to kill yourself, and none of us need more of that shit, right?

Try to hang in there, Anon, I know it's upsetting, and I'm so sorry that something fun has gotten to be like this.

Try to understand that these people are coming from a place of irrational defensiveness, often in response to bullying themselves at some point or feeling bad about themselves. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it easier to not take to heart.

And keep at it! In my experience here, once you find a group of people you fit into, it really is...A Group. Especially among RPers who are ostracized, they stick together, they promote each other, and they're very happy for their mutuals to become your mutuals. Once you find them, it unlocks so many opportunities for the interactions and type of RP you've been missing!

#answered #anonymous #serious rpers #rp problems #rp advice

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bluesky-thewebcomic · 4 years ago

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Final thoughts from Elvenwhovian

So here we are at the end. The last panel. There were a lot of times that I thought I wouldn’t make it to this point. It’s been an incredible and long journey, and finishing a project like this is satisfying beyond words. I know that many of you were not here from the start, so I just wanted to share the story of how this 930 panel monster of a project came to be and thank a few people who helped along the way.

Really it all started in March of 2014. My roommate had taken a trip to New Zealand to visit family and I was having a pity party at home alone (It’s always been a dream of mine to go to New Zealand). I was window shopping online on Thinkgeek (RIP Thinkgeek) and I was seeing all this merch for a game called Portal. This led me to Steam, which led to finishing the first Portal in about a day, then Portal2 in about 2 weeks.

Of course this led me to begin looking up fan art which led me to discover the fanfiction “Blue Sky”. I read the whole thing in about 4 days. I was so engrossed in the story, I ate, slept, went to work, and read Blue Sky and nothing else. I vividly remember sitting at my kitchen table, ipad in hand, as I read the last lines of the story. I sat back, let out a long breath and said, “Wow. That was one of the best stories I’ve ever read.”

The fan art came next. Being relatively new to tumblr, I was used to getting 3-6 notes on a post. Suddenly, people were coming out of the woodwork liking and reblogging. My mind was blown and it made me want to make more fan art. Then I met @starry-nightengale who became one of my best friends on this site. We fangirled over “Blue Sky” and Portal over the next year which led to us co-writing “The Trial of the Bow” trilogy, a medieval/fairytale retelling of Portal, Portal 2, Blue Sky, and Portal Stories: Mel.

It was on Labor day weekend of 2015 when my internet went down inexplicably. My roommate who had the internet in her name was out of town yet again and I conceded that I would have to wait until she got back to get the issue resolved. The Trial of the Bow Trilogy was finished and I had just co-written with @the-royal-sketchbook a Half-life Medival/fairytale fanfic “The Legend of the Freeman.” However, my passion for Half-life was not as strong as it was for Blue Sky and I longed to do something else involving Wheatley, Chell, and the citizens of Eaden.

Most of the people that I encouraged to read Blue Sky did not have the time to invest into a novel length book. I longed to create something more accessible. A comic book/graphic novel of the story had been in the back of my mind for a long time, but when the desire rose up in me, the thought of “but you would have to do backgrounds and you suck at backgrounds” reared its ugly head.

But on that Labor day weekend, a thought occurred to me. “What if I did it as a comic? Very loose and simple. Something that I could do for fun without any heavy commitment.” So that weekend, I did a quick pencil drawing of the scene when Wheatley and Chell argue from Chapter 5. I threw some color on it and put it on tumblr and it got a great response. Then I did the scene when Chell transfers Wheatley into the hardlight avatar from Chapter 3. Another great response. It was simple and loose but people seemed to like it. I asked Starry what she thought about doing the whole story in such a way. If memory serves, she was for it but warned me not to get too far ahead of myself. If I did this, it would be a huge project and would take a lot of planning and forethought. BTW, good advice Starry ;)

After completing all of Chapter 1, I made the announcement, created the page, and the Blue Sky Web comic was born.

One of the things that helps me to recharge each week is drawing/working on art on Sunday afternoons. In the past, I had struggled to find things to work on, but no more. Sunday was now Blue Sky Comic day. I would post 2 panels and create 4 more. If I had extra time on holidays or days off I would get extra done. This system allowed me to consistently add to the project without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. I was able to get ahead so that I could take breaks for holidays, trips, computer problems, and eventually planning my wedding and getting married. The Blue Sky Web Comic became a constant in my life. Whenever I needed to decompress and just draw or color in panels, it was there.

In late summer of 2019, my Father was diagnosed with cancer. If any of you have walked through cancer with someone, you know how difficult and painful it can be. My husband and I took a trip to see my parents about once a month for the next 8 months. The drive was fairly long and was the perfect opportunity to work on what I called “pencil work” for the comic (sketching out the layout of each panel, a process that took the most concentration and time). Working on the comic helped to keep my mind off of things. Each time we visited my Dad his condition declined and being able to focus on something like the “pencil work” helped to make the trips better.

In spring of 2020, right before the COVID-19 lockdown, my Father passed away. It was right before that final trip that I finished the “Pencil work”. By then I had also made a lot of headway on the comic itself, with only a few chapters left to ink and color. I remember reading stories and blogs about how people made it through difficult times by focusing on a hobby, tv show, book, or music; not living in denial of the bad things, but just having something to help them take a break from it all. That was what the Blue Sky Comic was for me in those final days and I will always cherish how it was one of the things that helped me to make it through that difficult period in my life.

With the COVID-19 lockdown, I had some extra time to work on the comic and by late spring of 2020, I finished the last panel. It still kind of blows my mind. From 2015 to 2020 was how long it took to complete.

____________

To the 2000+ followers and those who replied, liked, reblogged, and sent messages, your words helped me to keep going when I wondered if it was worth it. Your kind thoughts helped me to know that this story is still enjoyed by people and Portal fans alike.

To @starry-nightengale, thank you for your advice at the beginning and your support and friendship along the way. Here’s to many more ^w^

And to @wafflebloggies, thank you for writing Blue Sky. It may seem overdramatic, but when I found this fic back in 2014, I was in a dark place and your story helped me hold onto the light. Even years later when faced with new trials, it helped me to focus on what was ahead. I truly believe that this story resonates with so many people because it taps into the most simple and profound truth: the most powerful love is selfless. And selfless love can conquer any difficulty. Also your support of the comic over the years made me smile with delight. I’m so glad you liked it :)

So that’s the story. I plan to do more audiobooks of the rest of the Trial of the Bow trilogy, but after that I’m going to be taking a nice long break from Blue Sky and Portal. I have a personal passion project that I am in the initial stages on. It's another web comic that I actually couldn’t have even considered doing if not for the experience I gained over the past 5 years. I’ll have updates on my personal tumblr for that project and the audiobooks, but for this page, The Blue Sky Web comic, this will be one of my final posts (aside from responding to any messages from you guys). Thank you all again for following. What an incredible journey this has been! This fandom is so amazing and I love you all. Take care and God bless. - Elvy

#blue sky portal #thanks again #it's been a wild ride #:'3

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fallout-lou-begas · 4 years ago

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A lot of people have accused yjj of being racist, particarily in regards to one of their comics involving Joshua graham, and in general saying that they glorify colonization. I mainly understand the other things they’ve done, but the racism seems inexusable. A lot of people have also been saying that yjj and their followers have harassed people. I want to get both sides of the story on this, so basically I’m asking what the deal with all this is?

Hi, anon. I'll provide my thoughts since you asked politely.

This post is quite long and can be considered an extension of my previous post on the matter.

Besides the infamous and self-admittedly ill-informed chancla comic, for which they've apologized, essentially all of the claims that Yesjejunus is racist stem from their depiction of the Dead Horses and Sorrows relative to their depiction of Joshua Graham and their original character Joan in their fanfic No Light (and to a lesser extent Learnin’ the Blues), which is heavily grounded in the setting of Honest Hearts. I think it's unambiguous that the depiction of vaguely defined "tribals" in Honest Hearts, assembled through a mishmash of disparate signifiers and recycled stereotypes and named like Warrior Cats and completely helpless without Joshua Graham's guidance, is indeed thoroughly racist, even if it was intended to be more nuanced and came from a place of self-admitted ignorance on the part of the developers. What I struggle to understand is that the developers and writers of Honest Hearts—and of Fallout: New Vegas as a whole since the entire game is rife with such mishandled, insufficient depictions of "tribals" with no explicit inclusion at all of any specific Indigenous people or presence—are given miles and miles more sympathy and leeway for their poor handling of these characters in the source material than a fanfic writer is for using the tools and setting that they were given by that source material, including the "lore" and naming conventions of the Dead Horses and Sorrows, to tell a story that means a lot to them personally, inspired by their own deepest fears and experiences with abuse, and ignited by their charismatic yet deeply and blatantly monstrous interpretation of Joshua Graham. Given that it uses the setting of Honest Hearts as a backdrop, there aren't any living characters in Honest Hearts who aren't "tribals" besides Joshua Graham and Daniel, and post-canon, Daniel wouldn’t be there. When Yesjejunus is accused of sidelining the Native characters or relegating them to the background, it's because they're just not writing a fanfic about Follows-Chalk or Waking Cloud as main characters: they're writing a specifically intentioned story about the Courier and Joshua Graham, a story that for better or worse remains faithful to the source material’s depiction of Joshua Graham’s unilateral authority over the tribes in Zion, a baked-in element of Honest Hearts and a critical narrative component of No Light. To accuse Yesjejunus of being racist on this principle in and of itself would be like accusing me of being lesbophobic if I wrote a Dead Money-set fanfic with Father Elijah as the main character instead of Christine. If you want something that centers these other characters then you'd just have to read a different story, or write it yourself.

As a final note, I do think that Yesjejunus is a skilled writer. This thought exists simultaneously with the acknowledgement that like everyone else in fandom, they're writing as a hobby and do not have the oversight of an editor on the work that they produce personally and for free. It's not lost on them that there's things about their story that they could have handled differently or more sensitively, such as the oft-cited example of the death of the pregnant Dead Horse character in No Light, with more forethought or planning at the time—even if they were bound by the constraints of Honest Heart's own setting (such as the dearth of non-tribal characters who could have possibly been in the scene instead) while writing the story. Everyone is free to critique this aspect of the story as much as they are to critique any other aspect, or to be discomforted by the whole thing (given it's a very intentionally uncomfortable story throughout), but the suggestion of so many of these "callouts" that Yesjejunus must have been cackling maniacally about the plight of poor access to medical care among real Indigenous people is a suggestion made entirely in bad faith, and one that I simply don't care to entertain.

As for the point about harassing people: if anyone's only evidence of being "harassed" by a single, specific person is anonymous messages on tumblr dot com, then I don't believe the evidence. If people are accusing Yesjejunus' "supporters" or "associates" of harassing people, then if the accusation is that this harassment is occurring either on Yesjejunus’ behalf or otherwise with their approval, then it is also going to require more evidence than the mere existence of the mean anonymous messages themselves. This goes for the rumor that they have "spies" in fandom Discord servers or whatever, too, which is a rumor that I think has only manifested among its spreaders by either self-appointed individuals speaking on no one's behalf but their own, and by the metaphorical snake eating its own tail in paranoia. Yesjejunus, and I, and all of our mutual friends have been nothing but annoyed at best and horrified at worst by the efforts of some self-appointed individuals to "defend" them with such excess vitriol. Speaking plainly, we generally avoid literally any kind of anonymous or public interaction with anyone who's vocally opposed to us as a rule, specifically to avoid this kind of debacle, and when I say "we" and "us" I'm not referring to some sort of shadowy cabal of conspirators scheming to advance the nefarious YJJ agenda, but to a group of friends. I don't know how to explain to some people who question why we praise their work or share their art sometimes how normal friendships work online.

I also take severe umbrage with the validity of the breadth of these anonymous harassment accusations because of how patently fraudulent several other claims are. Yesjejunus has recently been accused of "grooming,” for example, an accusation only even worth considering if one temporarily forgets what grooming actually is and pretends that grooming is when someone older interacts in literally any capacity with someone younger. Some will say that they’re not accusing them of grooming per se, or not of grooming by that name, but in any case, the meaning is that Yesjejunus has interacted with minors and this on its own is intended to scare and upset you. I have seen only two users actually named as "victims" of these “interactions,’ however, sas-afras and comrade-shrimp, but both users have publicly refuted this accusation because neither of them were minors when they first interacted with Yesjejunus. Frustratingly, though, these literal refutations from the literal so-called "victims" are either dismissed out of hand or muddied by hand-wringing mutterings of "well, I could have sworn they were actually minors, though" and "well they claim that they weren't actually groomed, but who really knows." The spreading and trust in completely anonymous accusations, combined with the total rejection of statements from the only people named in these accusations when their statements contradict the accusations, suggests to me that the existence of these actual interactions (and assuming these interactions occurred both intentionally and with Yesjejunus’ being fully aware of the other person being a minor) is not nearly as important as pushing the narrative that "Yesjejunus is a groomer" or “preying on minors” onto the fandom, and ensuring that anyone who doesn't take this claim completely at face value appears complicit in something horrible. As for anyone who still feels "uncomfortable" at how sas-afras or comrade-shrimp or me or anyone who is very much an adult but just so happens to be younger than Yesjejunus could ever become endeared to them, I reiterate that sometimes I don't know how to explain to people how normal friendships work online.

I want to conclude by saying something that I've said many times before: you don't have to like Yesjejunus (or me, or everybody, or literally anyone else) and no one is holding a gun to your head to befriend them or read their work or look at their art. The block and filter and unfollow buttons are very conveniently located on your dashboard and are totally free to use. Everything I've written here is not intended as some argument as to why everyone on the planet needs to be following their blog and leaving kudos on Learnin' the Blues. Still, while I think everybody has the right to curate their own dashboard and remove the content that they don't want to see, I also think it's reasonable for me to not want my friend to get their name dragged through the mud by the exaggerated and misinformed claims of petty, grudge-bearing brigadiers and self-aggrandizing fandom security guards when they'd like to just dump funny shitposts about the Burned Man's chode in peace.

#asks #anon #yesjejunus #discourse

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madmadmilk · 4 years ago

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How did you gain followers?

gonna answer this as candidly as i can lol!! and keep in mind this is THIS blogs personal journey! there is no specific formula to ‘grow your blog,’ but there are definitely things you can do to attract attention to yourself AND make people wanna hang around 🤓

how /this blog/ gained followers 👩🏻‍💻

creating original content – when i started here (like almost 3 years ago) i posted fics / original content every few days lol. i consistently posted things in active fandoms & tagged them appropriately so it could be seen! [[ reality: it’s hard to gain followers if you don’t put out anything on your own, because how would they find you ? ]]

personality in the tags and out - lol i put so much effort and thought into my tags, especially when it’s under another piece of original content. it’s a great idea to pay a compliment forward, even when its just in the tags!! shout out loud in there!! people like to see what you think, and can come to like you for it!

reblogging instead of liking - reblogging is the height of interaction on this website!! a “like” is always wonderful, but it’s like putting something into your pocket. no one sees it and no one knows its there. but if you reblog, it’s like proudly posting it on the wall of your home! people will come back to see what crazy shit you have up lol. (for reference i have a queue for 30 posts spread throughout the day, while i reblog sporadically as well).the goal is to hit 100,000 posts on this blog this year lmaoooo

maintaining friendships & a healthy amount of space - i tried to get familiar with the people in the fandoms that i’m in! (i’m still so terrible tho lol) send asks, acknowledge ppl when they acknowledge you & be friendly!! but be mindful that: we are online friends with lives outside of tumblr. we don’t know everything about everybody & certain situations/interactions are simply ~not real~. don’t take negative/neutral interactions personally –– but try your best to be a positive and safe space for others!

prioritizing personal happiness & interest - nowadays, i only create when i have the inspiration or time to. i don’t bend over backwards to post, or beat myself up over missing deadlines/events. obviously, i WANT to create and share and be validated for my efforts, but my happiness and sanity are more important. it’s ok to take breaks, step back, or simply enjoy scrolling! there will always be time to grow online, but your well-being today is more important than anything else. even online, people can feel your sincerity.

luck of the draw - lol i just always have to bring it up, but parts of ‘online virality’ depends on luck. the right person finds you, or you say the funniest shit one time –– it just takes one moment. so make lots of moments! keep trying! give luck lots of opportunity to find you!!

aaaaand that’s all i can think of for now! followers and online friendships are wonderful and a truly unique experience, but it all won’t matter if you’re not enjoying yourself. tumblr is a hobby not a job 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 take it all one day at a time, and happy blogging! 🌈💞💕

#tumblr #advice #personal #madmadmilk #long post #Anonymous

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gaymentalbreakdown · 4 years ago

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stop calling people "Noob" and "fake gamers"!

stop. really, its harmful. to both your games success and to the new player. it encourages toxic behaviour in people, games, media and generally fun fan sites.

i've seen a lot of people on the minblr or minecraft tag calling people "fake gamers" because they dont know one (1) minor fact trivia or because they have not played from the start.

i have also seen people use Noob a lot more and in my opinion, is even more harmful. i ll get to that in a minute.

calling someone a "fake gamer" is harmful because

1. they might not have known about the game at first so they might not have much knowledge about past updates and features

2. they might not play often or they dont have any (or much) experience

3. they could have just forgotten???

4. its putting them in a situation where they are looked down upon by others (usually targeted by other players in combat and in trolls)

5. there a lot more reasons but theres are the ones from the top of my head

now, a lot of people call others Noob when they first join the game or if there not particularly good at said game. this is very harmful and rude. i will go into this in another post because i think there is so much ground i need to cover i need another post. but if you dont want to either wait or just want some of the main points here they are:

1. it hurts the player and forces them to not ask any crucial questions, meaning they will never get better

2. no one will want to play your game. people always get upset and lash out when there game is dying and/or no one is talking about it. its because of said players no one ever joins.

3. true, some may take it as a joke, but others may not, calling someone a noob is usually mixed in with insults, threats and/or bullying. its rude, and even if some can take it, some others cant. only call someone a "noob" if you know them very well and they are 100% okay with it. and never add any insults.

4. everyone is new at a game first, its how it works, but taking advantage and essentially bullying someone because they dont have that much experience in your hobbies and haven't been in that fandom as long is... well, awful!

again i will go more into this and my experience about online gaming and its culture and the toxic aspects of it a later date (probably very soon but idk)

in conclusion, calling someone noob or a fake gamer is toxic and if i see anyone else do it i will descend from the pits of hell and through hands! /hj

#tw long post #gamer culture #noob #fake gamer #toxic media #should i make a tag for my posts about this kinda stuff?#Mage rants i guess

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fandom-necromancer · 4 years ago

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1737. I love you! No time to explain – gotta go.

This was prompted by the lovely @anxiousmessofaperson! I hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

‘Okay, so… For the fifth time today, let’s see what we got in terms of evidence…’, Gavin sighed, letting the compartments the five bodies were kept in slide open. ‘Five deviants ripped out vital components of themselves and were found dead in their home. Cause of death their missing component or fatal thirium loss before the missing component could cause it. Evidently ripped out by themselves.’ He saw the android next to him open his mouth and quickly added: ‘Although we can’t rule out that there is a group of five murderers of the same model took out the component, yes, I know.’ The android closed his mouth again. Nines’ face was completely emotionless, as always, but Gavin could swear he was pleased with himself. ‘We also know they had been sent a media file on their personal computers that destroyed itself and the device beyond recognition. Saved chips and uncovered data rule out a virus to have caused the behaviour as the network adapter was fried first upon receiving the file.’ Again, Nines was about to speak, but Gavin simply continued, knowing exactly what his partner would remind him of. This wasn’t the first time he spoke their gathered data out loud today hoping to find some clue that he missed. ‘Although a virus likely was the cause for the devices to be destroyed and we can’t rule out that the deviants interfaced with it.’ Nines nodded.

‘On top of that, none of the androids knew each other, they are different models, have no correlating hobbies, friends or family. Some are married, some are engaged or live together, some have been alone all their life. Android and human partners where there are partners. They work in different places with different income and live in completely different districts. No connection at all.’ He looked up to the faces of the five bodies. ‘How the hell are we supposed to solve this case?’

‘Two of them enjoyed visiting the same café’, Nines commented. ‘They serve thirium drinks there.’ ‘Not helping, Nines’, Gavin sighed, flipping through a few pictures from the crime-scene. ‘With how long it takes Detroit to adapt to its new citizen’s needs, I guess every android was to that café once.’ ‘It is most likely coincidence, I have to agree.’ ‘Urgh, unless we stumble upon the missing parts, I think this will be one of these cases that are never solved’, Gavin concluded with tired voice. ‘We can only hope no more androids have to die to this.’

‘We can do more’, Nines noted. ‘The missing parts vanish. If this was something personal, the murderer wouldn’t have cared to take them with them.’ ‘Unless they take trophies’, Gavin shrugged. ‘Thought about that too. But many human serial killers do stuff like this. Keep hearts in jars like some phcked up decoration or steal their stuff.’ ‘While that is a possibility, android parts can serve a better purpose. There is a market for spares.’ Gavin stopped swiping through pictures that wouldn’t tell him anything anyways. Instead he looked up at his partner. ‘And how should we find these five parts? If the murderer took them to sell them, then likely on the black market, not in official businesses. And I would guess they scratched the serial number from them, so we can’t ever tell whether or not it is from one of our dead androids.’

‘I would agree, but the AT100 here is an old model already. Before the revolution even started, they weren’t sold anymore. Spares are already scarce, but this specific part, biocomponent #1737y is designed to last a lifetime. There isn’t much stress on it as it is a system to extract any contamination from the thirium regulator filtering system. Normally it automatically cleans the filter and accumulates the contamination in a sealed chamber that breaks down its content. Realistically spoken it can’t break. But if taken out, the filter clogs and thirium flow stops. I found only three spare components available online from shady businesses and have already purchased one with police funds. The other two I will buy at set times next week and next month.’ Gavin stared at the android as if he had just plucked the moon from the sky to gift him. Nines of course continued: ‘Once we got everything we can try to find more clues on them.’ ‘And if we don’t find any, you got the sellers by the balls and we can interrogate them!’ Gavin grinned at the android excitedly. ‘God, that’s genius! We finally got this case going! I… I have to tell Tina! She had a similar case about a month back, maybe this will help her too. Oh, Nines, I love you!’ His partner frowned at him, but Gavin had already logged out and was on his way up. ‘No time to explain- gotta go!’

Nines detected a huge software instability as he stood in the evidence room and stared at the now empty stairs. What had this human just said? There surely had to be a misunderstanding. How did the Detective fall in love with him? He locked away their evidence and made his way up to the bullpen. He had to ask him about that. He let his eyes wander from person to person, but Gavin wasn’t anywhere to be seen. He had said he had something to talk about with Tina, but she was just sitting at her desk, reading something from her screen. Nines accessed the police network and blinked in confusion as he saw the man had already logged out for the day. There had only been half an hour to his shift, but Nines wouldn’t have thought him to just leave like that. Not after saying something like this.

His software instability rose further as he decided to leave the building and call an automated Taxi to the address Gavin had listed on his police file. He received a few warnings of unnecessary mission delays and actions taken that weren’t helping his mission, but he chalked it up as building up a better working relationship with his partner and an opportunity for more discussion as technically, Nines was still on the clock.

He rang the doorbell and was soon after met with a confused looking Gavin. ‘Toaster, what are you doing here?’ ‘Gavin, how did you fall in love with me? Why? I want answers.’ ‘Ah, shit, that’s why I left work early, I kinda-‘ ‘You didn’t mean it. You just blurted it out because of the excitement. I understand. Sorry for disturbing your evening, I will-‘ ‘Idiot, of course I mean it!’

Nines stared at the human, who was blushing a bright red by now. ‘Phck it, come in, can’t have this conversation on my damn porch.’ The android nodded and followed the invitation. Gavin closed the door and led him to a sofa nearby. ‘Okay, listen Nines, I did blurt it out because of the excitement and I sure as hell didn’t mean to say it, but I do mean it. I… We’ve worked together for months now and… Hell, I never planned it, but you really are someone I admire greatly. And I do… love you.’ ‘But I’m an android. A machine’, Nines reminded him confused by the human’s words. ‘Do you think I care about that?’, Gavin asked. ‘I did once, but you don’t need to be human to be a person. And you are- I never got to know someone who had more personality.’ Nines thought hard about it. ‘Gavin, I don’t have a personality. I am programmed.’ ‘Like hell you are! I have to admit, to really see it you have to understand a whole new set of hints, but once someone knows your language, they would be blind not to see who you are. I can’t say I completely deciphered yours, but you sure as hell deciphered mine. The only other person who put in the effort to do that was Tina.’ ‘Gavin. I… I don’t even emote.’ ‘Oh, you do. Whenever someone is talking bullshit and you try hard to contain yourself before correcting them you look away. Past the person you are talking to but not far enough away to be outright rude. You hate it when people interrupt you, only exception when they already caught your point and don’t want you to explain every little detail. You work hard and diligently. You look out for others. You would rather choose action than words. You care deeply for those around you.’

‘I’m still not deviant’, Nines whispered, realising there was no way he could make Gavin understand these were just personality assets installed in him. ‘Maybe not’, Gavin said. ‘But who in this world is really free? Very little people. As long as I know you want it too and agree on your own will, then I am content with it.’ ‘I can’t want anything. I’m not allowed to.’ ‘If I give you a choice - Yes or no – could you choose one?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Alright, then do you love me?’ Nines stayed silent for a while. ‘I would have to think about it. I like you a lot. Much more than anyone else. But I don’t know it it’s love.’ ‘Are you comfortable with me being in love with you?’ ‘Depending on what that entails’, Nines answered. ‘Pffff, I don’t know. Holding hands? Spending time together? Maybe going on dates? Kissing? If you want to of course. We can see how it goes from there.’ ‘Yes. Then I am comfortable with the idea.’ Gavin smiled at him. ‘Okay. You don’t have to be sure about every term just yet, there was a reason I wanted to wait for a bit…’

‘And you really don’t rather want a human?’, Nines asked. Gavin chuckled and answered: ‘Only if there was one exactly like you and I don’t think that’s possible.’ ‘That’s indeed highly improbable…’, the android muttered and looked down on Gavin’s hand on the cushions. Holding hands, spending time, dates, kissing, maybe more intimate acts in the future… He hesitantly reached out for Gavin’s fingers and gently took his hand in his. His software instability spiked, as the man squeezed him back.

‘I think according to this definition, I love you.’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #two morons in love #aaaaaa #baby learns new emotions #HOW can this human love me?#Gavin: here are the reasons #Nines: How can this human love me?

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

Text

Title: En Prise (Chapter 1)

Summary:

Hange already had the innate analysis skills and the quick wittedness to excel in the classroom. Chess should have come easy for her. As she processed her fifth loss to the man in front of her, she started to understand that there was more to the game than meets the eye.

College AU! Levi is a little too good at chess and Hange gets roped into studying the game further.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Links to other chapters: 2

Notes: Netflix has this new show out called "Queen's Gambit" which makes chess look like I pretty good driver for a story. Attack on Titan has its fair amount of chess motifs as well and that's when I knew a Chess AU has to exist somewhere in the fandom. With that, Levihan AU came into existence.

Chapter 1

His earliest memories comprised only three sensations --- gnawing hunger, paralyzing despondency and the reprieve of the cold hard pieces at his fingertips as he maneuvered them through the board.

Over the years, his body had tuned out everything else, justifying it to his being too young to have processed it anyway.

If anyone had asked him though about the first games he had ever played with his mother, he would have been able to replay them from opening the game with a queen's pawn to the sight of his mother's hand laying the king on the ground in defeat.

It had been ten years since his mother's death, three years since his uncle's disappearance and Levi was alone. It was just him and the last memories of his uncle and his mother immortalized in a game of strategy.

Somehow, that was what made tournaments so calming to the young adult Levi.

It was his sixth game of the tournament and Levi had ended up playing on one of the boards on the corners of the large dining hall turned tournament venue. He snuck a glance at the top boards at the stage towards the center of the room before making his first move.

"The London System. Too scared of tactics eh? Typical of beginners."

Calming yet oddly stressful. Calming yet oddly depressing. Levi thought to himself as he watched the familiar play of the London System transition into an unfamiliar position.

Of course, there are billions of possibilities. There are bound to be some I've never seen in my life.

"Hey kid, your position is just weakness after weakness. Those doubled pawns on your f file, your h3 pawn. This is just a mate waiting to happen."

Within a few moves, Levi's opponent tore through his castled king with a bishop sacrifice. Seeing that the mate was inevitable, Levi put his hand out from under him in surrender.

"This was way too easy, kid. You probably could have given me a harder time if you just didn't show up at all. Do yourself a favor and find yourself some other hobby."

There were assholes in the chess community and Levi had heard that same insult towards him countless times. He grabbed his hoodie, put it back on and made his way out of the tournament hall. On the way out, he stopped in front of the list of their latest scores.

Scores as of Round 5

He scrolled towards the bottom of the sheet, knowing his name would be there.

Levi : 0

Levi was surprised to feel a knot at the pit of his stomach as he stared at the score for a few more seconds.

Losing would hurt for anyone. He thought to himself, making sense of that odd bout of emotion.

He walked away from the tournament hall and disappeared into the crowds of the subway beneath it.

En Prise

Mens Sana in Corpore Sano.

A Sound Mind in Sound Body.

Every student was required to take eight units of physical education, spread out among the first two years of college

If Hange had read the flyer before she applied to the prestigious Eldia university, she probably would have figured it out by the fine print right under the name of the university. If she had at least opened her study plan since she got it three months ago, she probably would have seen it written in clear fine print below “General Chemistry” and “Precalculus”

She had picked her university for the Chemistry degree, the prestige and nothing else. All she had to know was that it was one of the highest ranking universities in the country and they had complete facilities for biochemistry research.

She was quick to take the test, fill out the paperwork and submit it along with her essay.

Five months after she found the results, a week before the start of classes, came enlistment. As Hange stared at her study plan during her online enlistment proper, she felt completely and utterly trapped.

Her majors were no problem since they were all pre-enlisted. Her predicament came in the form of her physical education units.

Four semesters of PE. Hange grimaced. And it's gonna be counted towards my GPA? She was not athletic at all and had hoped to avoid anything physical so she could dedicate herself to her studies.

How long will I have to do this? Hange thought to herself as she scrolled through her four year study plan that opened up in the website in front of her.

Physical Education [for enlistment]

She clicked on it and watched as the choices opened up in front of her. Around the country, hundreds of other students were enlisting and she watched as the numbers of open slots fell to zero in some classes.

It's not like I wanted to take basketball or volleyball anyway. Hange thought as she sorted it by slot. Surprisingly, the ones which were running out of slots faster were the more physical ones. She had already planned to try for anything with the least exercise.

Table tennis. Fencing. Tai Chi. Yoga.

She stared at those four for a moment as she considered those alternatives if she could not find anything less strenuous. She continued to scroll down.

Street dance. Folk dance. Chess.

Her eyes fell on the last one with twenty full slots. She had played the game many times before, having been taught by her own parents growing up. She had beaten a lot of her peers as well since she had the innate analysis skills and the quick wittedness, most people her age did not have growing up. She was confident she would have it easier in that class.

For a moment, she had considered pushing it back towards a later semester. As the numbers started to fall though on all the classes, Hange knew she had to make a decision soon.

She clicked "Chess" and a few pages later, "Confirm Enlistment."

It's gonna be my first year. The important thing is I get through it.

En Prise

A few days after enlistment, Hange moved into her dormitory room with her roommate, Rico Brzenska, a petite girl with short blond hair and glasses who looked too busy to even acknowledge the new presence in the room. She looked like she was studying the first few pages of their precalculus textbook, only offering her name in response to Hange loudly and messily emptying the contents of her suitcase on the floor next to her bed.

Hange had similar plans of reading in advance. The first day of classes was three days away though and she had wanted to see the campus at least before burying herself in study material

She looked out the window to see that the sun was starting to turn a mild orange. She had arrived in her room by 4pm. It was early autumn though and Hange guessed that it might get dark sooner than she expected.

Unpacking could wait. She wanted to see the city. Hange threw aside her suitcase, pocketed her wallet and phone, and made her way outside of the dorm.

She stepped out into the green landscape just outside the entrance to the women's dormitory. The air was starting to get cold and she almost regretted not bringing a jacket. Not wanting to waste any time though, she trudged on, making her way out of campus.

A lot of new students must have moved into the dormitories already. There were many people her age already walking the streets of the university town. Hange could see some students already inside the bars that lined the busier streets.

Even since high school though, she had never seen the appeal of bars and parties. She chose to walk on without giving them a second glance.

Hange was about to circle back into campus when along the more quiet streets, she came across a small book shop.

I walked this far already, might as well check out stuff.

The familiar musty smell of books welcomed her as she opened the store shop. She had spent years cooped up in library after library, and had developed an affinity for that scent in particular.

She had bought most of her textbooks in advance. In fact, the only subject she had not prepared for at all was her Physical Education classes. She had chosen that university for their chemistry curriculum and the fact that she had to take physical education units, left her bitter and indignant about giving it the same preparation she would have naturally given it if it were any other subject.

With time though, Hange did get curious. A day before she left for college she started playing a few games of speed chess anonymously online, winning most of them. It was an easy and straightforward game. All she had to do was make sure her pieces didn't get eaten and make sure she takes the free pieces. When she accumulated enough of an advantage, she went for a mate. All the games had been like that.

As she walked through the bookstore, she crossed a games section. The books in the store piled up all the way up to the ceilings. Hange surveyed the stack of books in the game section, only to realize that at least half of them were about chess.

Was chess this complicated of a game? Hange opened one of the books only to find paragraphs worth of explanation for one board position. She pulled books out of the shelves one by one, scanning the first few pages of each book that had caught her interest.

The Sicilian Dragon

The London System

Attack with Black

Chess Puzzles

Common Chess Mistakes

Maybe it was worth studying. Hange settled for what looked to be the most similar to a text book. It was thicker than a lot of other books but was worth as much as the others which only convinced her more that it was the best bargain.

Modern Chess Openings.

Hange was sure if she just followed the path she had taken an hour ago to the bookstore, she would have ended up safe home.

If I follow the same general direction, I'd also get home anyway. With that in mind, Hange stepped out of the main street and into one of the narrower and darker alleys, her new book safe in a paper bag by her side.

Although the streets were starting to get dark as the sun started to set below the horizon her curiosity and sense of adventure remained unwavered. It was a reckless habit and Hange's parents had told her before that it could get her killed one day.

The streets she found herself in had their fair share of bars and eateries, although not as posh as those in the main street. Her own experiences had dictated to her multiple times though that the smaller ones probably even served better food than those in the main street.

She slowed her stride, gathering in the rustic view of the alleys, the souvenir kiosks and the shabbier bars.

"That shortie is fucking hustling me! He left his knight en prise on purpose. I'm not leaving until he gives me back my money!" A middle aged man burst out of one of the bars, his face pink with what could have been anger or alcohol.

He left his knight en prise… A free piece. Having spent a good hour in the bookstore going through chess books, the lingo was still fresh in her mind.

Two men were holding him from behind, looking the same shade of pink and Hange deduced then that he was probably drunk.

"We're really sorry for the trouble we're causing you here. We left the payment on our table." Another voice said from the doorway of the bar.

As Hange approached the bar, she saw another man bowing his head in apology to what looked to be the owner by the door. The two men made space for Hange to enter as they continued to discuss the logistics of what just happened. Hange knew she would get more context on that scene if she checked it out herself.

She did not need to think much to see the cause of the ruckus. Most of the bar goers were still staring in shock at one of the tables in the corner.

On the table sat a young man who looked to be her age, counting a wad of fresh bills on his hand. In front of him was a chess board, the pieces lined up so neatly, it was unbelievable to think it had anything to do with the drunk angry man who had burst out of the bar just a minute ago.

"What's that?" Hange asked no one in particular as she approached the table. The complexity of the game had caught her eye already back in the bookshop. Getting to see it in practice so soon after that got Hange red with excitement.

"Chess," the man at the table said as if the answer wasn't so blatantly obvious. "You play?"

It was an easy and straightforward game. All she had to do was make sure her pieces don't get eaten and make sure she takes the free pieces.

All she had to do was accumulate enough of an advantage to go for a mate.

He put two of his closed fists in front of her, a pawn in each of them. She picked the one on her right which opened to a white pawn. She was slated to start first.

She opened up with her king's pawn, knowing from experience that it opened up the most pieces. He mirrored her first move, pushing his king's pawn so it was right in front of hers.

She brought out her knight, then her bishop, preparing to castle kingside.

By the start of the middle game, Hange was starting to realize that the man in front of her had completely mirrored her position. A few moves in, he left a piece en prise.

Wins were usually straightforward for those with a material disadvantage. Before taking the piece, Hange looked at the man in front of her, only to see he looked completely unbothered by the free piece.

Am I missing something? It's too early in the game. There's no attack.

Oddly enough, fifteen moves later, Hänge found herself resigning having trapped her queen in the corner of the board.

She was a knight up. She should have been able to win.

"Again."

En Prise

Five games in and Hange was out of money.

"Wait. Let's play one more."

"It's late." The man stood up and counted the cash which used to be Hange's. "Besides, I'm assuming this is all you have on hand?"

Hange stood up to look at the clock behind her and it was only then did she realize she stood a good few inches taller than him. His domineering presence on the board had somehow made him look much taller to her.

She looked to the clock behind her.

9:30

Shit. Hange had lost track of time. Her dormitory had a 10pm curfew on weekdays. She grabbed her paper bag, pocketed her empty wallet and hurried out of the bar.

Hange made her way through the narrow alleys towards the general direction of the university. Those streets were much more peaceful than their wider counterparts and that gave Hange the perfect environment to reflect on how the man had played.

She taught back to the first game. He had left his night en prise at the start of the middle game, his face completely unbothered even as Hange took it. Either way, he was a material down and she knew enough of the basics to know that the win should have been straightforward from there.

Hange could not pinpoint exactly which move proved fatal on her end. The man had slowly taken over her position, advancing his territory slowly but deftly until suddenly her queen was trapped.

At first, she thought that she had been careless but as she looked back to the five games in a row. They all started with her opponent giving a notable advantage to her, whether it be a three pawns, a free knight or a rook for a knight.

Every game, she had thought she was winning. His blunders at the opening, would have made anyone think that he was a little careless or a little too overconfident. His wins came out looking like lucky breaks. Those lucky breaks though were the reason he managed to earn from the games in the first place.

In between games, if Hange had given herself time to breathe and consider the situation, she probably would have noticed the pattern. Her frustration at her own carelessness had taken over every single time.

That man was no scatterbrain. He planned everything

She thought back to the drunk man who was dragged out of the bar.

That shortie fucking hustled me! He left his knight en prise on purpose. I'm not leaving until he gives me back my money!

That same shorty just walked away with almost half of her allowance that month.

As the realization dawned on her of what just happened, Hange found it difficult to contain her anger. "That fucking asshole!" Hange screamed as she kicked the sign that welcomed her back to university grounds.The pain that quickly spidered up her foot and the ice cold wind that brushed past her only added injury to the insult of having been duped too easily.

As Hange limped back into campus, her thoughts flew back to her opponent a while ago. He had counted the money multiple times as he waited for her to move. He kept his face expressionless with every move she had played. Those images only served to further infuriate her and Hange started to scramble for an action plan.

She had to get back at him somehow.

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