#i know it's only a matter of time before everything switches over but i'm clinging to legacy editor with my last dying breath

[sangcreole]

anyway just FYI I’m gonna start publishing asks as their own individual text posts again because I can’t fucking STAND tumblr’s new beta editor formatting

[v1rtualv4mp]

Scud — NSFW Alphabet (my headcanons!!)

୨୧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: Blood and very kinky themes

GENDER NEUTRAL READER !!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

It depends, it's so hard to tire him out. You can absolutely fuck the shit out of him and he will still beg for more like he's been deprived of touch for years. But if you do manage to get him fully satisfied (after hours), then he will either lazily clean you up or just fall asleep right away while clinging to you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Well obviously his favorite part of himself is his dick, simply because it brings pleasure. He often takes pride of his size and likes to believe that no cock has ever gone so far inside you other than his.

But his favorite part of yours are your face and your ass. He loves making eye contact with you during sex and observe every little reaction of yours, it feels intimate and romantic. And he is downright obsessed with your ass, doesn't matter if it's small or big. Scud loves spanking, pinching and biting the flesh; he stares at your asshole when fucking you from behind; he jerks himself off with your asscheeks and absolutely loves anal sex.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Let's be real, this man cums really quickly when extremely aroused, he adores to either cum inside you or on your inner thighs. Sometimes, when he's really horny, he will cum inside you then eat his own semen out of you. After creampieing you, he'll scoop some of his junk and then spread it around your asscheeks, taking pleasure in the sight of the skin glistening.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Doesn't have much secrets, Scud is pretty open to you about all of his kinks and preferences and encourages you to do the same. But there's only one thing that he hides— Scud would like to make porn with you (not to sell it, just to keep it). The only reason as to why he hides that, is because he doesn't know how would you react.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Pretty experienced, has done almost everything with multiple people. Before meeting you he would often have one-night stands with people he barely knew, so yeah, he definitely knows what he's doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl. Of course, doggy is nice, but it doesn't allow him to see your face. Missionary is also nice but I see him more as a sub-leaning switch, so he prefers for you to ride him. Bonus points if you choke him on the process, it makes him come immediately.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's humorous only outside the bedroom, he can't risk turning you off with a joke. Plus, your body just feels so goddamn good that he can't help but stay serious with how foggy his mind gets.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Often shaves but wouldn't give a shit if you don't. In fact, he actually likes it when you're hairy down there, it feels mature, and I headcanon that Scud is super into older people.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Super romantic. This man loves you to death. When fucking you, he quickly gets so lost in the wonders of bodythat it almost makes him cry in overwhelm; his hands roam everywhere they can reach as if it were the last time he would be able to touch you; he buries his face onto your neck or chest, sucking, licking and kissing at the skin with fervor; and he never stops babbling about how beautiful and perfect you are. After he's done stuffing you full of his sticky cum over and over, he almost whines in frustration when it's time to pull out.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I'm not sure what does this mean . . .

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

What kinks doesn't he have?

BDSM - But only when he's the one getting that kind of treatment, he loves you way too much to be rough with your body. With that being said, I think he'd be super into overstimulation, especially when he's high. He really just wants you to treat him like the slut he is for you and you only.

Control - Scud is not scared to show how much he wants you to fuck the shit out of him and turn him into nothing but a mess underneath your spell. So feel free to just use him like he's nothing but a toy, jerk him off and deny his orgasm until his cock is swollen and he sheds genuine tears of frustration, make him do oral on you until his jaw is cramping, palm him through his pants in public so he's forced to not react, hell, he'll even let you peg him if you want.

These are only the main ones since there's much more.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Mostly the bedroom, but Scud is pretty open-minded, so he's willing to do it anywhere. But he tends to be quite noisy during sex, so it's best to take extra precautions with this guy.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It's quite easy to turn him on, you can kiss him on the cheek or just lightly touch him and he'll get into the mood like magic. And also, shotgunning, that just instantly makes him hard.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

There isn't much he wouldn't do, Scud is very very kinky to a point where it can almost gross you out, but just like everyone— there are limits. Things such as ddlg, abdl, daddy kink, age play, coprophilia and anything that's not consenting are a no for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Enjoys doing oral on you just as much as you doing oral on him. He's very skillful with cunnilingus but not very experienced with blowjobs. Of course, he's sucked dick before but Scud is more used to eating women out; either way, he likes doing both. When he eats your pussy, it's only a matter of seconds before he turns completely feral. He'll suck hard on your clit, rub his face over your cunt, and he will make sure to slurp your juices very loudly so that you're aware of how good he's eating you. Scud is very messy with blowjobs, he will keep trying to shove your entire dick down his throat but he always ends up gagging, his hands stroke the rest of the base roughly and he gets his own spit everywhere.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends, there aren't specific situations or circumstances that determine his pace, sometimes he likes to go fast, sometimes he likes to go slow.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He enjoys quickies, but obviously, actual sex is much better. Due to careers, you two often can only have quickies instead of the real thing. Of course he enjoys that short little fun time spent with you, but he prefers to take his time and properly worship you the way you deserve.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I'm not exactly sure what does this means but I have an idea. He's up to doing it in risky places, but there's a high chance that you two will get caught with how much of a mess he turns once you touch his dick. New things in the bedroom are always welcome, and actually, most of the time he's the one coming up with them to spice up the relationship; new positions, toys, etc.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As I mentioned before: It takes forever to tire him out, his stamina is ungodly. Scud can go for at least 4 rounds, but he can last much longer than that.

T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Once he started dating you, he wanted to spice up you two's sexual life a little bit. So, instead of buying toys, he built them himself! He keeps a box in his room containing some of his inventions, such as a powerful vibrator that can make you come in 1 minute, or a dildo built based on his own dick (he might have used it on himself once...).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not much. He wants to tease, but he's such a simp, you can just make eye contact with him and he's already willing to kneel down before you and kiss your feet as if you were a divine being. But he enjoys being teased, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Decently loud. If you don't morph him into a moaning mess then he will be quite talkative during sex, mostly just muttering sweet words in your ear. And he will normally moan through gritted teeth or just straight up whimper against your skin. Before you, he didn't allow himself to be vocal during sex, but now he feels more free to do it so, sure, he still gets a little embarassed with making noise but with enough time and convincing he can get more loud.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Likes having his nipples toyed with, they're sensitive. If you're a vampire, he will fantasize about you drenching his cock in his own blood then sucking him off, swallowing both his blood and cum.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I have the same headcanon for almost every character played by Norman Reedus: 7 inches, more on the long side, straight with a slight curve upwards, sircunstized and kind of veiny.

Y = Yearning  (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high, he basically runs off of sex and drugs. He'll constantly beg for sex at the most random times, you can be just chilling and he will suddenly come up behind you, press his erection against your backside then quietly ask in your ear to get under the blankets with him. If you're not in the mood then that's okay, he'll just jerk off instead.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends if you managed to tire him out or not. If you did, then he will fall into a deep asleep pretty quickly and trap you in his embrace. If you didn't, then he will clean you both up then just lay beside you, silently admiring your pretty face and caressing your naked body lovingly.

[imagines-by-cleo]

Alright I’ll be adding another one to your numerous kaz requests😅can we get one where a female assassin (not Quiet lol) attempts to murder mgsv!Kaz and despite the hate he falls in love with her? I just thought the idea of Kaz having an ex assassin lover might be interesting.

and like everyone is saying…please take your time and don’t rush. Love your blog xoxo

~I'm back~ and omg I can't believe it took me until the new year to finish this. I've been writing this one bit by bit for the last couple months and I liked this prompt so much I'm almost sad to finish it. Thank you friend for thinking of this! Maybe I'll do a part two after I finish the rest of the requests and the few of my own I have in the works that should hopefully be out soon.

CW: SMUT, kinda dubcon, bondage, nipple play, teasing, fingering, orgasm denial, switch!Kaz, rough sex, unprotected sex, hair pulling

You gasped as another bucket full of freezing water was dumped over you, making you shudder and strain against the chains that held your arms above your head. Ready to shout another insult at the overdressed bastard that had been interrogating you until the swish of the sliding door echoed across the room and a stranger stepped in.

His presence held weight and his silence added to that, while you held your breath the only sound was the clanking of his cane on the metal floor slowly coming closer and closer.

"I tried everything, but unless you want me to seriously hurt her she's not gonna budge." The cowboy spoke, sounding just a little too excited as he hinted for permission to really get to work.

"That's not necessary." Kaz replied, sounding just the slightest bit defensive. "Let me talk to her. Alone."

"I don't think that's a good idea..."

"I don't care what you think." Kaz snapped back.

With a shrug the other man walked out of the room and you were left alone with your former target. If he wanted you dead it's likely he would have just killed you already, it was more possible that he wanted answers, secrets that you were in no position to be giving away. There was still a chance that you could save this mission from failure but if you cracked and gave away any information you would be dodging assassins better than yourself for the rest of your life.

He came closer in no hurry at all, clanking of his crutch hitting the metal floor echoed through the silent room like a doom drum. As he stood between you and the only light in the room he made a rather intimidating silhouette, towering over you in complete silence. Though you knew that his calm collected nature was just a ruse to put you in suspense you couldn't help but feel a little defeated as it was working.

"Let's start at the beginning." He said before starting his interrogation. "How did you get in?"

"Wouldn't you like to to know soldier boy?" You quipped, earning the smallest hint of a growl that he made quick work of silencing before he continued.

"Who do you work for?" He asked.

"You have a lot of enemies. Kaz." You teased, staring him down. "Just pick one to blame it on for now, it won't matter in the end."

"This doesn't have to be difficult." He stated, more reasonably than anyone who was almost murdered had a right to sound.

"Oh you haven't even seen difficult yet." You challenged, sounding more like a bratty child than a deadly assassin.

He quickly raised his hand, thinking he was going to hit you you flinched, not expecting to find him only reaching for the top button of your fatigues. It really did catch you off guard when he started to pop open each button slowly, one after the other until your whole front was undone and chest ready to be exposed by the slightest pull of the fabric.

Though the clothes still covered all that they were supposed to, the chilly wet fabric clinging tightly to your skin left little to the imagination. The sunglasses covering his eyes made it hard to tell where Kaz was looking yet you could still feel yourself shrinking under his gaze and fought your restraints with the urge to cover yourself.

Raising his hand to his mouth and biting down on the fingertip of his glove he pulled it off with his teeth then spit it onto the floor. He touched his bare hand to your neck, feeling how your breath was starting to quicken and more so when you knew he noticed, then pressing his thumb lightly over your windpipe he felt it stop. You found yourself wondering, doubting and then fearing again if a one handed man could even strangle you. Something in his firm grasp told you that he was ready to, and threatened, no, promised that he would.

His fingers moved, tracing your collar bone then stopping on the center of your chest, feeling your racing heartbeat for just a moment before slowly pulling one side of your shirt open. The touch of his hand on your skin felt both foreign and warm against your cold skin, even when he started to cup your uncovered breast it was difficult to reject.

"What are you doing?" You asked with an all too telling shake in your voice, receiving no answer from the man touching you.

You wanted to kick him away, spit at him maybe, call him a pervert or something worse, but the way he touched you was so meticulous and not at all a rushed taking of an opportunity. His touch was deliberate yet gentle, and the bitter scowl still stuck on his face told you that this wasn't for his enjoyment.

The cold water had already made your nipples stand out leaving them much easier to touch, he circled one with his thumb lightly toying with it and making you shudder. You did your best not to show a reaction and began to bite your lip in fear of making a noise as he continued to squeeze and massage the soft flesh in his grasp.

Soon his fingers started to wander lower, until they had reached a point that made you assess whether you should reject his touch or open up to it you found your body had already answered for you as your legs parted without any resistance. Truth be told there were certainly more horrible people to be captured by, even when you were looking at his file and saw the messy blonde hair and the mysterious shades you thought it would be a shame to kill him.

His fingers ran slowly up and down your slit, only brushing your clit with every other languid stroke. You could feel yourself getting wetter and eventually hear it too when you started to soak his fingers and make it easier for them to glide over your folds. When you rolled your hips forward to grind against his palm only finding he suddenly pulled his hand away, now you knew what his goal was.

"That's a dirty trick." You huffed, rubbing your thighs together though it was no substitute for his touch.

"Talk." He demanded, returning just one finger to rub little circles around your clit without ever really touching it.

"I can't." You growled in frustration. "They have other assassins ready to kill anyone that cracks."

His fingers moved down to circle your entrance, making you more and more desperate with each stroke. The satisfied look on his face as you got visibly closer to breaking was your only motivation to stay quiet. He leaned in close enough that you could feel his breath on your skin, the ghost of a touch of his lips on your ear seemed to hit every nerve in your body as he whispered.

"Are you sure you're so worried about that?" He asked, challenging the last bit of strength you had left.

One finger pressed in slowly, enough that you could savor the slight stretch which you couldn't tell whether it came from the thickness of the digit or how hard you had been clenching around it. Sliding in as deep as possible before curling, you moaned out loud as the feeling in the core grew more intense and demanded relief.

Kaz leaned in close until his lips where just ghosting over your own, you wanted to lean forward to kiss him but he was just out of reach. Still he lingered, tasting every breath growing deeper and faster while his fingers pumped in time. Just as you were sure you could cum all over his fingers he pulled his hand away.

"No, no, no, please!" You whimpered, trying to get his touch back before your release was lost.

"Tell me." He reiterated much to your frustration.

"It's XOF, okay? They sent me to kill you." You finally broke down and admitted not even caring about the consequences.

"What else do you know about them?" He continued.

"They don't tell me that much, probably in case I got captured, but they have more people they're gonna send if I don't come back."

"In that case we're gonna have to tighten up security around here..." His attention drifted off as he started to mentally plan.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're a damn tease?" You jeered.

That seemed to be the only thing that broke his scowl as he let out a short laugh, he even seemed to stay amused as he turned and walked away. "Well if those assassins are only as skilled as you I guess we have nothing to worry about."

"Hey, where are you going?" You asked though you received no answer

Totally unbothered as he kept walking and not the slightest bit guilty for leaving you so desperately untouched as he entered the code and stepped out the door.

"Kaz, you can't leave me like this." You shouted after him shamelessly bargaining. "It's gotta be against the Geneva convention or something."

As as the door shut behind him and your begging shouts had turned into frustrated curses as you strained against your bonds. The room was left deadly silent making the sound of your pounding heart echo louder through your neglected body and you found yourself wishing that someone would have mercy and dump another bucket of cold water on you.

~

Ever since that day you had been working exclusively for the diamond dogs under the direct orders of Kazuhira Miller. Doing odd missions and assassinations that Big Boss was too busy to take care of, your most difficult mission so far was convincing everyone that you were no longer a threat, but for the most part you left that up to Kaz. Your loyalty lied only with him and for the worst reason, every day that you worked you counted yourself lucky that that no one else knew the truth or what your goals really were; although every once in a while you would get a knowing glance from that cowboy you met earlier.

Soon enough you had earned enough trust to have the privilege of a room of your own, it was hardly an upgrade from your cold cell but it at least had a proper bed, the only real problem was how empty it felt. The nights there were unbearable alone and you constantly found yourself tossing and turning with an insatiable need burning through your body. Your own touch was hardly enough to satisfy, even when you pretended your fingers were his while tracing all the places he had touched before.

One night you couldn't take it anymore, frustrated with the growing wetness between your thighs you ventured out to go find the relief you had been craving for far too long. Without even bothering to put on more than the t-shirt you slept in and a thin pair of panties you snuck out through the halls avoiding detection much like you would on a real mission.

Security had increased since you first infiltrated the base, but luckily for you not in the places it mattered. The routes patrol took were the same and the direction cameras were pointed never changed either, both faults practically inviting you into Kaz's quarters.

He wasn't a very sound sleeper, just like the first time you saw him he was tossing and turning in a fight with his own dreams before he even woke to notice an intruder. Quietly and carefully you crept onto his bed watching him twitch and mumble for a moment before you crawled over and straddled him, pushing the sweat dampened hair back from his forehead you noticed his breathing start to steady as his eyes fluttered open.

The peace didn't last long however, when he woke up enough to realize there was someone else in the room his expression changed to pure rage. His hand flew to your throat squeezing tight even after he recognized you almost as if you were the nightmare he had been fighting with. Only gently setting a hand on his arm while trying not to give in to your instinct to fight back, eventually his grip relaxed though he didn't let go of your neck.

"Trying to kill me again?" He questioned, baring his teeth.

"No." You answered simply, a blush crept onto you face along with a hint of a nervous smile.

Kaz was about to say something else, most likely a follow up question until he felt the answer in your fingertips creeping along the waistband of his boxers. He was stunned at the boldness of your touch, giving you the opportunity to grab his wrist and pin it to his side.

"You never told me how you got in here." He confidantly remarked, as if he was still in control.

"The same way I got in last time." You answered proudly. "And you didn't even bother to lock the door this time."

Noticing the hint of a smirk on his face you could almost assume that he knew, even as you felt him strain in your grasp but never really fight against it made you think this vulnerability was just an act or more likely a trap. Suspicious as his behavior was you couldn't help but take the opportunity before you, hooking your finger on his boxers waistband and slowly pulling them down.

With a few light strokes you soon felt his cock stiffen up in your grasp then once it was nice and hard you gripped tighter and pumped a little faster. Watching his chest rise and fall as his breathing grew deeper you were hoping to get something like a whimper or maybe you could even get him beg and look as pathetic as you must have when he was teasing you.

The idea swirled in your head as you softened your grip and slowed down until you were only giving him short lazy strokes. Kaz let out a deep frustrated groan, while it wasn't what you were hoping for it was a start. He opened his eyes to see you staring down at him with sadistic intentions then gave you a defiant smile while shaking his head.

Pouting at his reaction you became even more determined to get him to crack, with only your thumb and your forefinger you continued to work his shaft until you could practically hear him grinding his teeth. He had almost wiggled his wrist out of your grasp but you kept a firm hold on him.

After deciding you had enough of teasing him you let go and moved up to hover your hips just above his, though he tried to hide it his twitching and squirming gave him away. Your mouth watered at the sight of Kaz held down panting with his swollen leaking cock out and proud just waiting for you to touch it while the growing ache between your own legs was getting too much to ignore

Too impatient to even take them completely off you simpliy slid your panties to the side before straddling him and lowering down, taking a minute roll your hips and drag his tip across your slit and feel it twitch while you soaked his cock. He let out the most delicious gasp when you slammed down on him and took the entire length with little resistance, for a moment you stayed there just savoring the feeling that was so much better than you had imagined in the long lonely nights.

The small victory wasn't yours to enjoy for very long, you held still long enough to feel him writhe impatiently and try to raise his hips in protest, you kept your resolve and only lifted slowly off of him then lowered back down taking just one inch at a time. Kaz groweld at first, then he sighed, then he whined. It was just like how you were when he left literally hanging in that cold cell, maybe even worse. The idea of that revenge made you dizzy with the promise of relief like you had been wanting, and you found yourself feeling just merciful enough to use him to get it.

Squeezing around him and making him moan without any hint of shame, his wrist went limp in your grasp and he relaxed and allowed you to continue your sweet torture. It did feel like a victory to render him as helpless as he was beneath you, even the idea of it made you wetter than you thought possible and the sight of it made you shudder. In that moment you needed release more than you needed revenge, the bitterness you felt toward him slipped further away every time you sunk down on his cock.

Your hips were moving on their own at that point, it was hard to tell who was getting more pleasure out of it all you knew was that you were getting so close to that sweet relief you had needed since he first touched you. Reminded of that night you had the idea of bringing his hand up to your chest, having him touch you like only he could.

As soon as you released his wrist his hand flew to your thigh grabbing tight and using it as leverage to throw you off onto your back, already stunned at being tossed off like that you never expected him to flip you again before climbing over and using his weight to keep you pinned down with a hand on the back of your neck.

"Fuck! Not again." You groaned, feeling your release slipping away.

His fingers twisted into your hair while he pushed your face into the pillow, the way he held you down made nearly impossible to even shift your weight let alone break free. Although his still hard cock rubbing against you from behind curbed your want to escape.

He laughed as you tried to wiggle yourself out to no avail. "I expect better from my best assassin, I should teach you a lesson."

Fighting his grasp just enough to turn your head for a moment to ask while sliding your panties down and coyly grinding against him. "Would you call this a lesson, or maybe a punishment?"

"A mission, now shut up and take it." He answered bluntly before forcing your head back into the pillow.

The first thrust buried his entire length deeper than it had gone before, without even realizing it you were whimpering helplessly while he pulled out to the tip and repeated the action again. Over and over the cycle continued of him leaving you nearly empty just to plunge in even deeper and quicker.

It was almost too much but you were so afraid of him stopping and not letting you finish that you spread your legs farther and took even more. Your cheeks grew red in pure embarrassment as you lost all control over the noises coming from your mouth, more so when Kaz pulled your head back by the hair and forced you to cry out in the open.

"C'mon, let everyone know who you're loyal to now." He demanded, twisting your hair and earning another scream.

He was so cruel, but honestly that was what you wanted, the violence, the insults, the brutal manhandling, all of it. Ever since that day you were wishing he would just pound you like this, all the while giving you that blood chilling scowl.

That feeling of reaching your peak came creeping up through your body again, and with it a fear that you would be denied release. You arched your back and bucked your hips in rhythm with his trying to take in as much of him as you possibly could while fully expecting him to chastise you for being so desperate.

"Don't... Don't make me beg for it again." You panted out, lifting up and pressing your back to his chest.

He snorted at your request. "You're so lucky I'm bored of teasing you."

Having him so close while you came made the sensation so much more intense, feeling his breathing get deeper while he pounded even harder and pulled your hair even tighter. He tugged your head to the side so he could put his mouth on your neck and practically taste every moan that flowed out, his lips felt scorching on your already burning skin consuming you completely in a wildfire of passion.

Kaz pulled out and turned you over while your legs were still twitching, before he could even push back in you caught a glance through the glaze in your eyes and saw the first spurts of cum dripping out of his cock. He shut his eyes and bared his teeth while he continued to roll his hips forward, letting out long low groan and gripping your thigh tight. The feeling of him twitching inside while he while he filled you up was just too much for your sore overstretched hole, but the lingering need to keep him close kept you from telling him to stop and instead making you wrap your legs around his waist.

Spent, exhausted and finally finished he dropped down, his face only a few inches away from your own. Your breath mixed and your eyes locked in a moment of honest exposure, the bitterness and tension being released finally allowed the two of you to really see each other for a brief moment.

He didn't hold back at all, touching and kissing you wildly wherever he pleased while you were still shivering and giving you all the contact you had been begging for all this time. While you were a little taken aback by his treatment you readily accepted and even returned the affection where you could.

"Do you know how bad I wanted to do this while you were all tied up in there?" He revealed through heavy breaths.

Even his affection was violent. Kisses from a man who forgot any other way to be intimate could nearly drown you in wave after brutal wave, but you wouldn't just survive without returning in kind. Not simply allowing Kaz to take over your body, you savagely took his as well. Becoming nothing more than a tangled mess of tongues and teeth, hands grabbing and pulling desparately whether they landed on hair or skin.

In one of the rare instances when your lips had to part for oxygen you took the opportunity to say. "Kaz. Don't take this the wrong way but, I'm so glad I came to kill you."

"There's no right way for you to take this but, I'm glad you're bad at your job." He replied with a grin.

With the slightest urge to prove him wrong right there you laughed and kissed him again. For the rest of the night it continued like that, with the two of you sharing banter while holding each other close. The end of the agonizingly tense relationship you previously had sparked the begining of something that would be a challenge to explain if anyone on base found out. If they found out.

[outerwilds-events]

Tugging The Tether

(content warning- guy dies via proximity to sun and then cries a ton. also like very minor sensory overload moment)

-

“It fired, Yarrow. But it failed.”

What?

“The sun station is useless. It will never, and could never, cause the sun to explode.”

No. It- it can’t be, I-

I rush over to the Nomai calculator to see how much time I have left before the station gets consumed, desperately clinging on to whatever semblance of order I have left. 

This is moving too fast, I need to process this all, I- Shit, there’s only a minute? No, wait… But I'm not ready, I- 

I feel my body tremble, my fingers are slipping. Skies, I'm so sweaty.

The supernova, it’s- it’s natural? No, it- it can’t be. I was so sure that they did something, AND- and that I could switch it off!!

I stumble backward, unable to string my thoughts in order. Trying to regain my footing, I lean against the wall, struggling to find something stable. My thoughts are moving too fast, the sun is moving too fast, I need to pause, but there's no time, I- I can't THINK!! Shit, it’s so hot in here. 

Okay, Agate, you can do this. You just need to calm down. I definitely don't have time to leave and make it to my ship. I’m stuck here, alone with my anguish.

This can't be it, I've come so far- But if the supernova is natural, then what the HELL is this time loop FOR, then? All this struggling, all this anguish and for WHAT?

Oh, my skies, it's so unbearably hot.

 The Nomai wouldn't just- stop, right? There has to be some other answer, some place I haven't explored yet. Oh, it doesn't matter right now, I'm gonna die in a couple seconds anyways. I’ve died to a supernova countless times before, but it's never been like this. All the other times the sun has nova’d on me, it was over in an instant. With this, the sun is inching closer and closer to the instant where it consumes the station, and therefore, me. But until that instant arrives, as every millisecond goes by, the heat gets increasingly painful. There's nothing nearby that'd be a quick way out and there's no way I'm gonna be able to meditate under these conditions.

It’s starting to hurt my skin now. I feel my retinas literally burning, and I turn away from the sun in whatever feeble instincts I have left to live, to survive. I’ve never burned alive this slowly, it hurts so much. My spacesuit is all charred away, and my clothes underneath are starting to burn away as well and my skin is close to catching fire. The worst part is I can feel my organs, too- they're melting. It's getting harder and harder to breathe, I'm so dizzy, I can't stand any longer. I collapse to my knees, the ground is melting under me, and the gravity sucks me in closer and closer to the sun. I'm heaving and heaving, but I can't get any air. My skin catches fire, and I open my mouth to scream, but I have nothing left in my lungs. I can’t form coherent thoughts, everything is being drowned out by the immeasurable pain I'm in right now. All that escapes my mouth is a feeble cry in agony. The gravity mechanisms the Nomai installed in the ground finally give as the station around me crumbles and I fall into the sun, feeling for an instant the most intense, indescribable pain before I 

 Suddenly I have air again, and I gasp like it’s my first breath, but it sounds less like a gasp and more like a hollow, empty scream. I see that fucking view again. I can’t be here right now. I’d rather be literally anywhere but here, but my body doesn't want to move. My world is reeling, and even though my physical body is safe now, I can still feel my body burning like a marshmallow vividly in my memory. I can't shake the dizziness and the panic.

 I hear Slate’s skiesdamned voice, but I don't care to listen. It’s just another reminder letting me know yet again that I've failed. I look down at my hands, blinking, still heaving. Fury fills me. Despair fills me. I can’t see anything, my vision is blurring. Slate says something again, and I vaguely make out their form setting their marshmallow stick down. I can't do this anymore. I really can't. I’m shaking, I shut my eyes. 

There’s so much happening. My clothes aren't fitting right on my skin, the campfire’s heat is hitting my back and I hate it and I’m sick of the fact that I can't remember my last meal but I'm never hungry and I hate that.  I’m angry. I’m so so angry. But I’m so so sad. And so so upset. And so confused and overwhelmed and anguished and many things all at once and nothing and everything and I just need a moment to fucking process. 

I can't hold it in anymore, and everything I've been bottling in in for the past however long it's been(days? weeks? months?) exits me in a shuddering sob. Tears stream out, and suddenly I can’t stop. All of this stress, the stress of the entire universe on myself, the stress of avenging the Nomai, the stress of how long this has taken and dying over and over, it's all so much. I collapse in on myself, gasping. There’s not enough air to fill my lungs. Slate runs over to me, and suddenly I hear their voice in my ear and their arm on my back, failing to steady me. 

“Hey, calm down, kiddo, what’s wrong?” I place my hands over my eyes to try to shove the world away. I need it all to cease to exist for a moment so I can be on my own. I have nothing left for anyone else right now, I can't bear to look at them. They aren't real. This isn't real. They’ll die in a couple of minutes. And then they'll die again. And again. And again. We all will. I scream. And it feels like there will never be a way out. And I scream more. And then the scream fizzles to a sob, and then another, and another, and I can’t stop. 

What else can I even do at this point? There's no way out anyways. I lower my hands enough to see Slate’s face, and I sob even more. Everything they were passionate about was for nothing. Their work is useless now. It meant nothing. They can't understand, how could they, but I can’t do this. I feel disconnected, I am untethered, drifting further and further away from a sense of reality.

All of a sudden, I feel Slate’s arms grab me, and then they pull me into a tight hug. My head is sitting on their chest and their arms are cradling my head and torso, like a caretaker cradling a hatchling. Everything ceases for just a moment as I am pushed back to reality. I can’t help sobbing more, despite the embrace. it was as if I was pulled back down to the ground in just one instant, and the shock of it startled me.

Neither of us spoke, and instead just sat there. Eventually my sobbing quieted down and I just stared forward. Slate didn't say anything and neither did I, we sat there together in silence.

After a little while, they finally spoke. “Kiddo, what’s up? A bad dream?” Their voice was soft and gentle, their rasp present but without its usual sharpness. I choked down another cry, bracing myself to speak. I tried to think of what words I could possibly use to even begin to describe the overwhelming hopelessness I was experiencing. After a minute, I eventually decided on something, and I opened my mouth. A small voice, one I no longer recognized, spoke.

“I never wanted this.”

-

i'm not sure if I'm submitting this right, I've never done submissions before, so I'm not sure how to format this. If I need to resubmit or something, I'm sorry! Let me know and I will fix ::)

Tags- 

@sawyer-is-eepy

#campfire fest #campfire fest 2024

[pink-tonic]

Last One... Right?🔪

Previous

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Warnings: Mentions of Ayato's injury, but nothing graphic

Text labels:

Bold - Ayato

Red text - Info-Chan

It's Tuesday, and I can immediately hear the vibrations coming from my phone. All I can think of is Info. I'm pissed right now because my plan with Shidesu completely failed. I did all those favors for nothing. I am a bit happy that I did take my anger out on one of the rival delinquents since now I don't have as much of an urge to kill as before. But the urge just might come back if Info is texting me because of a new rival.

But there is a silver lining. I might have ruined his chances with my darling. I blamed all my injuries on him, and I think that it might have worked. My darling will start to think that Shidesu is more violent than he actually is, and he won't want to be anywhere near him.

I grab my phone, and I check the message.

Plan failed?

Interesting. I thought she was going to talk about something else. But there has to be more to this. She wouldn't check up on me just to check up on me.

Yeah.

Sorry to hear that.

You might not like what I'm about to tell you.

New rival?

Yes.

Who is it?

I know that you have tendencies, Aishi, and I don't want you to snap.

Who is it?

Hanako Yamada, the younger sibling of the Yamada siblings.

He goes here?

As of yesterday, he is a student at Akademi.

Do you have any ideas?

I do.

Passive or aggressive?

Passive.

Surprising.

Are you lying?

Leave it to me.

I then close the application. I resist the urge to throw my phone against the wall or on the ground. I grip it tightly, and it feels like I could break it if I just held it a little tighter.

Every time.

Every time I try to have my darling all to myself, someone has to come in and mess it all up! All those bastards have to come in and claim that they are the one for him, but they could never be the one for him! I'm the one for him! We have been together since childhood, and he picked me over everyone else. The same has to happen again.

It has to. He has to pick me.

I'll make him see that I am the prefect and only option for him.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

I go into school with a mission. It's simple, but it needs to be effective. After I switch out my shoes, I go looking for my darling. I walk around the hallways that he usually walks 7 I find him, but with someone else. It's neither of the older Yamada siblings, even though I slightly wished it was them over their younger, more annoying brother.

I see the youngest Yamada sibling clinging to my darlings arm, acting as if my darling is all his. They walk down the hallway where the cooking club is located, and then I see the younger of the two let go and go into the club.

Perfect.

My darling is waiting outside and on his phone. I don't know why he doesn't go inside with Hanako, but it doesn't matter all that much to me. This is the perfect time to go and approach him.

As I approach him, he is completely distracted by his phone. I wonder what he is looking at? I hope he isn't looking at someone else's pictures. I don't know what I would do if I saw him doing that.

I tower over him, and I tap his shoulder. I notice that he jumps, and I can't help to find it cute. I know it's wrong to find his fear cute, but that emotion looks so good on him when he expresses it through his jumpy movements.

He almost drops his phone as he turns around and looks at me. I swear, I heard his voice quiver as he noticed that I was the one standing behind him. He quickly puts his phone away and greets me with a shy tone. I greet him back, but then it's silent. He seems scared to tell me anything, and I'm frozen in place because his attention is all dedicated to me now. I think I will start seeing pink again.

He crosses his arms over his cheat and looks up at me. "So, is everything okay now, Ayato?" He asks me with a soft and gentle tone, I'm sure he doesn't want other people to listen and question what we are talking about.

"A bit better," I answer. Truthfully, I haven't been bothered by the injury. If I move in certain directions, it does hurt, but other than that, it's not bothering me at all. But I could use this to my advantage.

"But I was wondering," I start off, "If you could switch out my bandages?" I try my best to look a bit sheepish when I ask.

"Don't tell me you haven't changed them!" My darling gasps and scolds me. I bask in the feeling of him being worried over me. I love it when he becomes worried over me, I know that once we get married, he will be such a doting husband.

"I have... but it hurts when I do it all by myself," I have changed my bandages over the past day, but like before it hurts when I move in certain directions so putting new bandages on becomes a struggle very quickly.

"We could go to the nurse's office and have her help you, would you like that?" He sounds so gentle when he asks me. The softness of his voice makes my heartbeat faster, I just hope my feelings aren't present on my face.

"I'm just worried," I confess to him, "It's a stab wound, and I'm sure she'll ask what happened." What I'm saying is an actual concern that I have. If it was a minor injury, then I wouldn't care that much, but a knife was shoved into my side, and it will definitely cause her to get worried.

I see my darling start to think for a moment. His thinking face is so cute. His eyelids lower a tiny bit, and it's clear that he is in a daze. After a quick moment, he stops thinking and looks at me with a bright smile.

"I know! How about I get the bandages and all of the supplies, and we go to the bathroom and I help you out there, would that work?" I like his plan a lot. The two of us could be alone together in the bathroom, all while he has his hands on me. I know it won't be anything intimate, but my mind can't help to wonder about the possibility that it could become that.

"Yeah," I simply respond. I see him turn around and go into the Cooking Club. He must have gone to go and talk to Hanako. A small smile appears on my face because he is leaving behind that childish boy for me. My darling didn't even mention to me that he was with him, I wonder if he even cares for that boy that much?

He comes back out quickly and leads the way towards the nurses office. When we make it to the nurse's office, he tells me to stay outside while he goes inside. I wait outside, and he comes out with the bandages, cotton balls, and rubbing alcohol. We make our way to the closest bathroom, and we go inside.

The bathroom is dimly lit by the weak lightbulb. The bathroom looks like it's straight out of some horror movie. It feels like something could jump out of one of the stalls. We walk over to the sink, and my darling places everything inside of one of the sinks. There are no counters, so that's the best he could do.

"Do you want me to help you take off your shirt?" He asks me with a nervous tone. It's clear he knows that the sentence sounds odd, but he still wants to help me nonetheless. How adorable.

I decide to take the opportunity, and I nod my head. He responds with a small 'Okay', and he gets close to me. The closer he gets to me, the more I freeze. He does something to me that I can't explain. It's like I can't get close to him, or else I'll be trapped in a daze.

I can feel his gentle fingers start from the top of my white button-up. He starts to remove the buttons from their holes, and he does it slowly. It almost feels like he's teasing me, like he wants something more.

Eventually, he gets to the last button, and my chest is now fully exposed to him. He can now see the bandaged area more clearly. The new bandages are soaked in a little bit of blood, but it's not as bad as the first set of bandages. He starts to unravel the stained bandages, and once it's all off, he places them in the garbage. He then starts to work on my wound. He cleans it and then places new bandages on me.

To me, it all happens fast, but that could be because I'm still lost in my daze. His soft figures always graze my skin, and it's intoxicating. I wish he could make the lingering feeling last longer. It's all over in five minutes or so, and he buttons my shirt back up. He goes to wash his hand in one of the sinks and then goes to grab the supplies.

We both walk out, and I can't help but follow him like a puppy. I wished it would be the opposite. I want him to be the one to follow me, but this is fine, too. He goes back to the nurse's office and puts everything back. When he comes back out, he jumps at the sight of me.

"What's wrong?" I really couldn't help myself from asking. Did he not know I was behind him the whole time?

"I'm sorry, Ayato! I thought that you left already! Is there something wrong?" He looks so confused, and he looks even cuter with his confused face. But I need to stop myself from staring at him. If I keep staring, he is bound to get creeped out and walk away from me.

"Can we hang out? Just the two of us?" I ask, and I could feel the world stop at my words. It's as if I was never supposed to ask him that again in this lifetime.

"Oh! Um, I wouldn't mind. But I have to tell Hanako," He sounds unsure, and it makes me a bit mad. Why is he so unsure? "Do you want to hang out the whole day?"

"Yes."

[sathellio]

it's genloss ep 3 rewatch time! let's see if I cry this time

1. OH MY GOD I don't remember the last time I watched this episode and THE INTRO?? GOES SO HARD??? the glitches, the drone footage, the MUSIC??? ugh, perfection. literally took my breath away

2. hi gl!Ranboo, we are here, we want to help so badly (I feel so much despair at their ask for help)

3. I forgot how much the soundtrack in this ep adds to the ambience. it just feels so perfect for an abandoned mall where you don't know what to do, how to move forward

4. poor gl!Ranboo was just so scared. I think the only reason he trusts Hetch is because, well, what else can he do in this moment? he doesn't know where he is or presumably how he got there in the first place, so he clings to the first and only person to offer help, and that becomes his downfall

5. oh god, Hetch plants the idea that we, the audience, are not to be trusted. he says "they can't control you anymore." yes, it's true to some extent that we controlled him sometimes, but by saying "control" instead of "help" or some other, more positive connotating word, Hetch is making sure that Ranboo doesn't trust us, also making them trust Hetch more. it's an us vs them mindset. no wonder gl!Ranboo probably thought we killed him out of hate :(

6. oh, one of Ranboo's first thoughts being that he could have helped the others :(

7. "the police can handle this I can't handle this" ow ow ow :(

8. "that's security, you won't have to worry about it" yeah Charlie's the one that has to worry about it (I'm sorry)

9. oh Hetch said he reprogrammed the employees to think Ranboo is part of the show, but he really didn't because he Is still part of the show

10. "how long have I been here" :(

11. when Ranboo is searching the office for the usb he finds a little army dude just like the one found in Charlie in ep 2. do you think the employees donated all the things Charlie had or,,,

12. on the day 1 plan whiteboard there's magnet letters spelling out "newspeak." did we ever figure out what that's for?

13. "looks like they've upped security since, uh" since last time? :(

14. I saw someone say that in the heart of the facility the place where Ranboo enters the code looks like lungs, and that made me realize all the tubes and wires around that are like intestines and arteries respectively. even the colors make sense for that

15. remember how I said Hetch planted the idea that the audience is not to be trusted? yeah, that's why it didn't matter what code we picked. gl!Ranboo was too scared of us

16. who's blood is it at security when the door is opened? an employee?

17. oo the fire alarm adds so much (so silly it wasn't planned)

18. ugh the corridor running scene <3

19. Charlie saying he needs longer legs, silly

20. Hetch refers to himself as The Hetch, clue to his identity or him just being a weirdo?

21. gl!Ranboo murder arc rahhh

22. man the reveal of the cabin gets me every time

23. they already reset the cabin. they're ready for the next show

24. just Everything about it between the cabin reveal and the button press

25. no the music and the light and the birds and oh he almost made it :'(

26. AHHH THE BOW AND HETCH AND THE SLOW RISE WITH THE MASK ON THEN NOOOOOOOOO

27. god this is so painful :(

28. the subtle change in Ranboo's eyes when Hetch says the audience gets to pick oh god

29. the way Ranboo gets quieter as they weigh the options

30. I think the feeling of choosing death will live with me forever. the way the majority chose live at first because of course we want to save them. and then we heard what will happen, and we tried so hard to 50/50 it because we couldn't accept either option. the moment Ranboo begged for death it switched over. the long pause before Hetch announces the result when we know what was chosen lets our decision sink in. and then it's done. we were forced to speedrun the five stages of grief, or at least the first four

31. the way we can hear gl!Ranboo's last breath before the box closes? god

32. the way, when the lights go red and there's silence and all we can do is watch, it finally looks like a heart with all the veins and blood. roll credits and tears roll down my face

33. and then, of course, it's just another tape. nothing special. just an experiment

god I love generation loss so so much and I'm so so excited to see where it will go in the future. see y'all June 15th I guess

[dontlookheswatching]

A Remembrance to be Forgotten

I'm like really bored and I suddenly feel like writing so I might as well give it a shot here on Tumblr🤷‍♂️

I really don't expect this to get much attention, I'm rather nervous to be posting this since it's a little different than what I usually do

But there's only one way to get past my fears sooo I'm gonna post this anyways

--

"Ben?"

The blonde elf looks up from his switch, gazing up at the tall raven haired man next to him. "Yeah?" He turns the console off, tilting his head a bit. They're sitting on the bed in Ben's room. The windows are slightly open, allowing a warm breeze to sweep inside every now and then, making his white curtains dance in the breeze. Sunlight filters in, filling the room with unnecessary bright light and illuminating the previously dark space.

Jeff is gazing out the window, not meeting his gaze, seeming troubled by something as the wind pushes his long hair around. "Yeah?" He replied, turning around to reach over and set the switch down on his nightstand, knowing a long talk is about to happen. He looks back to Jeff, but he's still gazing out the window.

Jeff inhales deeply, then lowers his head. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. Ben's expression softens in pity. He knows what he was going to say after that before he even said it. "For everything I've put you through. You never deserved any of that, you never should've had to put up with me while I was in a state like that. ." He trails off, his voice cracking a little.

Ben's quiet for a few seconds. He sighs then reaches forward to grabs Jeff's hands; The contrast between Ben's cold small hands and Jeff's warm big hands was always one reason they loved to hold hands, even as friends. Jeff tilts his head toward him slightly, but doesn't look directly at him, his head still lowered.

"I know I didn't have to. But I chose to. I wasn't going to give up on you, I wasn't going to sit back and watch you completely lose what humanity you barely had left at the time. I wasn't going to lose you again." Ben says, his tone soft and calming.

He knows perfectly well he didn't have to put up with it, he knows he could have easily avoided it all. But after everything he and Jeff had been through, after everything they opened up to each other about, he couldn't live without him, he couldn't bear losing him after all of it.

"I love you, Jeff. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have tried as hard as I did. And yeah, it was hell, for both of us; But it worked in the long run, like I was hoping, praying, for. That's all that matters to me now. Your better. I'M better. We're in a new era of our lives, Jeff. I know you can't help but think about the past sometimes, but I promise, things are much better, and things will never return to the way they were."

He can hear Jeff's breath hitch, and after a few seconds he can see a tear drop from one eye onto his hand. He feels his heart crumble a tiny bit, his ears drooping as he pulls Jeff closer to him. He clings onto Ben's tunic, burying his face into his neck as he begins to sob. "Oh, Babe.." He says in a hushed tone, reaching up to begin playing with Jeff's hair gently.

He begins to hum softly, keeping Jeff close, one arm wrapped around him. "I-I'm so sorry" Is all Jeff can mutter between his sobs. Ben shushes him turning his head slightly to kiss Jeff on the forehead, then continues to hum.

They stay like that, holding onto one another, until Jeff drifts off. Ben gently moves him so he's laying in a more comfortable position before lying down as well, wrapping his arms back around Jeffs torso and resting his head on Jeff's chest. A nap couldn't hurt, he finds himself thinking as he closes his eyes, listening to Jeff's slow heartbeat as he falls asleep himself.

Things aren't perfect, but it's better. A perfect relationship from beginning to end is much more appealing, but at least they have the achievement of knowing they made it through everything, together, no matter what happened.

[dragon--sage]

WIP Whenever

tagged by @fadedsweater FOREVER ago but i am just now feeling like i have a grip on this not-so-cute meet cute i have devised for my latest untitled WIP (modern au, parisy val royeaux, magical elements bc i can't restrain myself) that has taken up all my daydreams lately. ANYWAYS tl;dr here is a little peak behind the veil. thank you for tagging me sweater!!! ✨

i'm tagging anyone else who'd like to share something they're working on because i LOVE to see it, and appreciate being tagged but overthink and fret over who else to tag! :')

“You are Dalish,” Solas said, as Ellana stepped into the weak moonlight filtering through the windows, and he made out her vallaslin for the first time. The word, on his sharp and admittedly honeyed tongue, came just shy of an insult. His eyes raked over her face and a look of cool dismissal instantly fell over his own.

“What’s the matter, allergic to halla?” She quipped back, crossing her arms over her chest and quirking her head to the side.

“The Dalish are as children, clinging to false memories of a long-forgotten past,” He snapped immediately, the accusation so practiced it was as if he’d uttered this exact sentence several hundred times before.

Sweet Sylaise—what an insufferable know-it-all, she thought.

“Oh, but you know the truth, right?” Ellana countered—voice acidic, mocking.

The degree of condescension in her voice was a bit shocking, even to her.

(How much and how quickly she had been riled, how easy it had been for him…)

His brow quirked and he smirked at the challenge in her response, apparently amused by her consternation. She fought an epic and nigh impossible battle to keep her frustration from showing on her face.

“I have seen things they—you—have not,” He said simply, with a small shrug.

“Oh, well that clears everything up. Thank you for sharing your infinite wisdom, hahren.”

“Felassan!” Solas snapped, eyes cutting from Ellana to the Slow Arrow. Felassan, having been examining an old satin curtain that framed one of the room’s many windows between his pointer finger and thumb, abruptly dropped it, straightening to his full height.

“Hm?” Came his eventual reply, after he’d cleared his throat. The moonlight filtering through the dusty windowpane glinted starkly against his pale skin and flashed in his violet eyes.

“Are you trying to be funny?” Solas lapsed into elvish (perhaps this was a habit of his, when he was feeling particularly peevish).

“Well, if I am, I’m not trying hard enough, am I?” Felassan shot back with a glare. He stepped closer, motioning to Lavellan as he went. “I bring you our best potential recruit in ages and this is the thanks I get?” He had switched back to Common, though Ellana understood their elvish well enough.

(Yet even while she understood them, there was something distinctly different about the way they spoke it that struck her—the pronunciations and emphases different from any she’d come across, even having met elves from Dalish clans all over Thedas in her twenty-nine years.)

They moved closer and lowered their voices, and spoke so quickly she could no longer make out what they were saying.

Suddenly, Solas stepped away from Felassan and looked at her. His eyes darkened and narrowed, just for the slightest instant, and then he smirked.

“Fine,” He said coolly. “As a first test: you are welcome in our city safehouse.” A pause. A moment’s silence to appreciate that, of course, there would be a catch. “If you can find it.” His smugness indicated that he believed he’d just given Ellana an impossible task.

Felassan gave a loud, indignant huff of breath, and made as if to speak, but Solas pointed an accusatory finger in his direction.

“No help,” Said Solas, interrupting whatever Felassan was going to say.

The Slow Arrow rolled his eyes and waved him off.

Solas looked at Ellana again. “The only hint I’ll allow you is this: numbers here mean nothing, the crowd is lonely.”

He turned from the window and headed towards the door Felassan had pulled her through earlier, the one that led to the back stairwell. Just before he disappeared into the mess of props that obscured the exit from view, Solas half turned, looking back at them over his shoulder.

“It was a pleasure, Ellana.”

The finality in his voice made the statement sound like a less-than-fond farewell. He turned away and continued out of sight. Then, the sound of a door opening and closing echoed sharply through the room.

“Bastard,” Ellana breathed, glaring in the direction Solas had gone. Her eyes cut to Felassan, widening in frustration and disbelief.

“Talks like a villain from a period drama on the OPB and dresses like a disgraced librarian living full-time out of his van with three feral cats! And has the never to treat someone like that? Who the fuck does he think he is?”

Once she began to complain it was difficult to stop.

Felassan shrugged, brows knitting apologetically, as if he had no idea how to answer the question.  

“If it makes you feel any better,” He said, after a long, slightly uncomfortable silence, “I actually think that could have gone much worse.”

[nyantry]

Samael only confirmed what Dmitry already knew. There was no stopping this now. He was headed on the express train towards death and there were no switch tracks. It was inevitable. The little angel knew, understood perfectly, that it was not Samael's decision to make, nor was the archangel's opinion any matter of influence. Still, it had been the human in him which had made him ask, the little part of his soul that always still found itself overwhelmed at the idea of mortality. If anyone could understand why that question had come, it was Samael himself, who had been there in his last moments the first time; him who had seen the regret once Dmitry had realized it was far, far too late to change course. Of this, he never spoke. He didn't know how.

This need to confess, to ask for forgiveness even when he wasn't expecting any, to cling so desperately to those who provided comfort, to want, to love, to give — it was rooted at least partially in that guilt and regret that lingered. He was blessed with an ever-bleeding heart, grasping desperately at feelings, emotions, instincts that he could never contain, that always slipped right through his fingers. His heart was several sizes too small to contain the sheer magnitude with which he loved, and because he loved so viscerally, he suffered in equal measure.

Dmitry walked with Death.

Those words, not guilty, caught him off-guard. He was used to apologizing, to shrinking himself to avoid occupying space — yes, literally, but also metaphorically. It was too easy to forget this was for him. Sammy was here for his sake, this was his own time, his own space. There was no wrong amount of sharing here. A small nod confirmed the reminder served its purpose.

But then the Angel of Death did something unexpected. Dmitry observed how everything around the two of them seemed to stop. There was a sudden silence, and it was only then that he realized there had been any background noise at all. The dust particles froze in midair. It was eerie. There were very few other moments he had experienced this in, always with Samael; except once with Nico, like he'd accidentally slipped between time in an effort to get the halfling somewhere safe.

Time. Death was giving him time, by taking time away.

Dmitry almost wanted to hold the hourglass himself, to flip it over, just to see if the sands would resume or if they'd remain suspended. Then flip it on its side, then back over, and again a few times, for science. But he knew better than to touch that. He knew better than to even ask. Instead, he crouched to pick up some sand to idly experiment with.

Time.

Death's question was not easy to answer, and he'd think about it for a while before even attempting to answer. Where did he belong? That was just it, though, wasn't it? Did he belong anywhere at all?

But there was, still, one easy answer to that. He belonged with Nico. It didn't feel like what Sammy was asking about, but it felt like the only thing he could be sure of. He belonged with Nico.

"I am too close to dead to belong in the world of the living. It feels... like a Twilight Zone episode, almost, like everything's the same but something's really wrong and you can't figure out what it is until it hits you like a pile of bricks. I'm used to it, it's just strange anyway. But... I don't belong in the world of the dead either. Still breathing. I don't know that I belong anywhere, I just wander, but there is home. His soul was swimming with mine, and I knew it was home."

He had by now figured out the sand, like the dust, was motionless. He could move it around, displace it, fling grains in any given direction, but it was not falling with gravity and it was not blown away by wind. He held his hands palms-down and opened his fingers to let go of the sand, which then remained suspended before him after he moved his hands away. He arranged the grains into constellations as he spoke, and thought, and felt. He often seemed to find it impossible to speak in long conversations without something to keep his hands busy, something to occupy the lizard brain with.

"He didn't want to leave me, but I had to ask him to let go. I promised we'd figure out how, but... between you and me, I don't think we're meant to. I'm too dead, and he isn't, and whatever part of my soul is in his... You can't get to heaven without dying first. I'm afraid my soul in his would jeopardize that. I keep dying, but not the way he needs to someday if he is to go to heaven."

He thought some more and eventually arrived at some semblance of an answer. "I suppose purgatory, for expiation. There are things even I ought to atone for, despite my fate being sealed. Don't go ditching me there right now, though, I think he'd actually die of heartbreak. I'll figure something out."

Could it be a lucid dream if the dream were also actually real? That is the question of the day.

Was there any way to stop time from ticking now? His head would turn back and forth a simple and silent ominous no.

Then there it came as he knew it would without even a question. Dmitry opened right up to the reaper. There was no interruption throughout the vague confession. Sometimes the Angel of Death felt Zadkiel would be better suited for these topics. Samael and Zadkiel often worked as a pair. The Angel of Forgiveness. This angel would help make sure confessions were heard and repentence sincere. It was a soul's chance before crossing over. Then Samael would be the guide from there.

Dmitry was a special case. Zadkiel never came on these visits for Dmitry's deaths. It was his time, but it wasn't. The clock always rewound. The hourglass tipped right back over. The final forgiveness was a duty only needed on Dmitry's last wind of the clock, last turn of the glass. This is why Dmitry was blessed so much time with Samael. It was his job and his job alone. Dmitry may not know it, but If Dmitry ever saw the pair he'd know his time was over. If Nico should fear anyone it would be the angels together, not Death alone.

But, what he'd confessed was vague. Something he wasn't proud of he said? He spoke like someone who didn't want real advice, but someone who wanted to figure it out on their own with their own time. He wanted time to figure it out. He didn't actually ask for any advice. He only asked for time. That's not what Death was going to give him, at least not in this lifetime.

Instead he motioned a walk with me wave of hand and sway of head.

Into the depths of the abyss they'd go heel over heel. This kid was rambling questions of how he's been before he'd ever said a word. Running at the mouth seemed a specialty and Samael had the patience to let him work it all out of his system.

However, he turned the conversation on him. How was the The Angel of Death? How selfish of him? The Archangel Samael decided this was when he could finally get a word in. It wasn't going to be about the eons Dmitry had missed of his existence.

First, he gave a nod. Yes. It was him in the veil in Russia. Sighting confirmed.

Second, since he was told he was being selfish his first words came out in the ever deep, grating, ghostly voice, "Not guilty."

He tapped the hourglass as a reminder of who's time he was walking in. The bony apparition's finger pointed at Dmitry next. This was Dmitry's time. This was Dmitry's walk. This was Dmitry's time to talk. There was nothing selfish about it. This was Dmtiry's time. Plain and simple. If Samael needed to convey anything, it was that. This wasn't as casual as it seemed and yet it was. He'd casually spend time with every soul. Dmitry's soul was special and happened to get many trips. He still knew his job. Every step brought death closer, another grain of sand would drop.

Then his footsteps paused. He turned to face Dmitry. He held the hourglass. He turned it on it's side so the sand would no longer spill in either direction. All the air in the deserted surroundings would pause in way that seemed to defy gravity. If ever a dreamscape would seem unreal it was in that moment. Dust particulars would be suspended in the air like the dry breeze stopped mid-blow and existence hung in a momentary pause around them. Then Death would ask, "Where do you think you belong and why?"

[onedaughterofman]

It said yell so HEAR ME OUT OK CAUSE I BE FEELING ANGSTY. TERZO RETURNING TO HIS LOVER IMMEDIATELY ONCE HES RESURRECTED CAUSE IVE BEEN LOOKING AT ALL THOSE THEORIES THAT HES ALIVE AND THEYVE ALL GOT GOOD POINTS. TO MAKE IT ALL WORSE HIS LOVER WAS THERE WHEN HE WAS KILLED CAUSE PAIN

OH I'M LISTENING MY FRIEND. I'M LISTENING.

This is kinda short, but I hope you like it!

Dying tonight (Resurrected! Terzo x g/n reader)

He’s standing next to the bed when you wake up. Cold sweat dripping down your back, a chilling shriek dies inside your chest.

He’s there.

Terzo.

As much as you want to call his name, the words refuse to come out of your mouth. Lips tight in a line, your fingers blindly search for the switch of the bedside lamp. The plastic is cold, so rigid, and it serves as a lifeline to keep you grounded.

Under the yellowish light, Terzo is there. Lifeless eyes open wide, his pale iris shines like a lantern in the darkness of the room. He’s standing immobile, arms by his side, hair disheveled and face frozen in a stoic, emotionless expression. The white dress shirt he’s wearing is covered in coagulated blood. The color is dark, almost black.

As your pupils scan him, you realize the blood is coming from his neck. There's a scar, jarred and red, across his skin.

The sharp edges of your crucifix dig in your palm as you squeeze it in a silent prayer. This can’t be happening. You saw him dying.

No matter how much you tried to bury those memories in some remote corner of your mind, they remain alive. Sitting next to him, in that poorly lighted room, you were there when everything went black. The attack, his death, his funeral… You were there, all the time. You clung to his corpse, blaming yourself for being unable to even attempt to protect him.

“Lucifer, my lord. Please, have mercy on my soul,” you can't say. The words are hidden deep in your body, somewhere between your burning lungs and shivering guts.

It doesn’t matter how much you pray to the Lord and whoever might listen to you, Terzo doesn't disappear. On shaky legs, you get on your feet. The floor is freezing, just like his skin when you place your palms on his cheeks, cradling his face.

For a long moment, Terzo’s eyes remain unfocused, lost somewhere far away. Then, his pupils find you. “I’m cold,” he says, voice merely a whisper. “So cold, amore mio.”

Leaving his side for mere seconds, you rush to snatch a blanket and set it over his shoulders. Clinging again to his body, holding him so close it hurts, you can perceive the faint beating of his heart.

It doesn't make sense. This can be either a miracle or a nightmare, a gift from your deities or a terrible omen. You don't care. If this is nothing but a bad dream, then you don't want to wake up.

In disbelief, you force his eyes to meet yours. “You’re back,” you say.

Still lost inside his mind, Terzo furrows his brows as he nods. “How long have I been gone?," he asks in a rumbling growl.

“Years.”

The only answer he provides is another nod. His trembling hands reach for yours and, despite his weak legs, you manage to guide him to bed. Letting him rest his back against your chest, your fingers brush over his messy hair as he gradually regains some heat in his limbs.

For a long moment, there's only silence in the room. Terzo is reflective, mentally far away from you no matter how hard you cradle him.

After an eternity, he moves. “Amore, I remember it now,” Terzo says, inhaling sharply before continuing. “I remember what happened. I know who did it.”

When the bells chime in the distance, his eyes look up to meet yours. There’s nothing inside them, except undying anger that cannot be tamed. Tears run down his face, leaving behind trails of diluted black paint.

With his voice set in a grave monotone, he speaks up for the last time.

“Someone is dying tonight.”

PS: If Terzo ever comes back, you'll hear me screaming. No matter where you are.

[sevmch]

hq boys as dads calling you while you're away bc your child wouldn't stop crying

characters: kuroo tetsuro, bokuto koutarou

warning(s): none, just fluff. kuroo is v father material aahh!!

a/n: this was sitting on my drafts for a while now. other characters coming soon 👀

kuroo tetsuro

you were overseas for two days to attend a convention that your job required which meant leaving kuroo and your child

kuroo was admittedly and without a doubt, a really good father so when he told you not to worry about them, you left without any worries at all

kuroo knew everything - how to prepare milk and baby food, changing diapers, how to get them to sleep, how to stop their tantrums, basically everything

still you bugged him all the way to the airport to call if something were to happen or if he needed help with anything such as locating the diaper and milk powder

afterall, he was rarely on baby duty since his job required more of his time compared to yours but he has never failed to provide you and his son the time and affection

the first day went by smoothly and without a problem, that is until the next day. your son just wouldn't stop crying so he had to call you to calm him down

no matter what kuroo did, your son just wouldn't stop crying even when he was cradling him gently in his arms and rubbing his back. their child has been crying for almost an hour now, only getting louder and stronger despite his best efforts to calmly shush him or lull him to sleep.

the morning went by pretty fine; kuroo fed, bathed, and played with their son - even changed the diapers twice. their son seemed to be in a pretty good mood throughout the morning but apparently, babies get mood swings too, and that's when the crying started.

kuroo tried basically everything from trying to get their son to drink milk, to giving the pacifier, and humming baby songs he could think of but all his attempts failed. their son wasn't bored nor hungry and was definitely not sleepy so it was starting to worry kuroo.

"hey bud, you're scaring me now," kuroo cooed, softly pressing the back of his hand against their son's forehead but the temperature was fine. kuroo knew all the baby stuff without sweat, even the signals of what they needed but this was entirely different. it was only when then their son pointed to the picture of the three of you framed on the wall that kuroo got his answer. pressing a soft kiss against his son's temple, he whispered softly, "i know bud, i miss mommy too."

kuroo grabbed his phone from the couch and called you, chuckling when you instantly answered on the first ring with a hint of worry in your voice. "tetsu, what's wrong? are you both okay? should i get on the next flight?"

"relax kitten, we're fine. we just miss you."

"awe, i miss both my boys too."

"mama's on the phone bud." kuroo switched to loud speaker, smiling widely at their son who looked at him with wide, doe eyes upon hearing your voice. the crying eventually died down as you kept speaking through the phone with your cute, tiny baby voice until your son fell asleep in his arms.

"is he asleep?" you asked.

"yep. hey, you should use that baby voice often. it's cute," he teased, grinning ear to ear.

"shut up."

the rest of the afternoon was spent at a mall near the airport, buying toys and new clothes and stopping by for ice cream before waiting for you at the terminal.

"look bud, there's mommy!" kuroo crouched to level with their son, pointing at your figure from a distance. their son's eyes lit up when spotting you, giggling and reaching out his other hand that kuroo wasn't holding.

"awe, it's my two favorite boys! i missed you both so much!" you said sweetly, dropping your bags to hug your son.

"i missed you so much, love." you hugged kuroo tightly when he stood up only for him to hug you tighter, peppering kisses on your cheeks.

"missed you more, kitten," he said softly, pressing a light kiss to your lips before carrying your son. you really had nothing to worry about.

bokuto kotarou

you were a little bit worried about leaving bokuto and your child even if it was just for a couple of hours. you had to visit your parents in kyoto and dropby for groceries on the way home

it's not that you didn't trust him, you were just not quite sure if the house would be exactly the same as when you left knowing how bokuto and your child loved to play A LOT

you considered calling akaashi to babysit the two lmao

bokuto matched your child's energy so while you're incharge of all the serious baby duties, bokuto was incharge of playing and goofing around with your child while you rested

really, your child got their hyperactiveness from bo

you were also the one who dealt with the tantrums while bo assisted, so when bo was left to deal with your son's tantrum alone, he panicked and was about to cry himself because your son was crying and it made him sad :(

you left the house around 6 am after preparing breakfast for your husband and son as well as the other things that bokuto will need for the day. althought bokuto spent a lot of time with your child, it didn't always include the serious baby duties so you knew for sure if you hadn't displayed the diapers and vitamins on the counter in advance, he'd be flipping the house upside down searching for them.

you also left a note on the fridge that consisted of all the instructions and reminders to serve as a guide. you trusted bokuto, of course, but you really just didn't want to come home to a mess.

bokuto's arms snaked around your waist and squeezed you lightly in his hug, nuzzling his face at the crook of your neck. "can't you just take us with you?"

"i'd love to kou, but our son just recovered from a fever so it's best if he stays home for now."

he nodded, visibly frowning. you cupped his cheek to get him to look at you. "kou, baby, i'll be back before you know it."

bokuto pouted, looking at you with puppy dog eyes and it took everything in you not to cancel your plans. "call me if there's a problem, okay?" you kissed him goodbye and left.

with the note you left him, bokuto had no troubles throughout the morning routine even during bathtime. he would send you pictures and videos from time to time so you wouldn't have to worry, also because he loved sharing things with you.

bokuto loved playing with your son, loved seeing the adorable smile and hearing the soft giggles during their playtime even if it meant having to crawl on the carpet with his son on his back like a horse.

bokuto was filming him walking around with a huge smile on his face, "come to dada, little guy." your son just recently learned how to walk on their own so their steps were still unstable and wobbly and this resulted to your son tripping on his own feet.

bokuto could shit his pants right now, quickly fumbling to his now crying son to comfort him.

"hey little guy, it's okay you're good, dada's here now." he's whispering comforting words while gently rubbing on their back but the cries only got worse, the tears streaming down the little guy's face nonstop and this made bokuto's heart sink, feeling his own tears pool in his eyes. "shh i'm sorry, i'm sorry... you're okay, i gotchu."

his hands hesitantly reached out hug your son, so fragile it scared bokuto. he was calling you now and thank god you answered right away.

"kou?"

"he won't stop crying and i don't know what to do, can you come home now please? i think i just made our son hate me."

you sighed, "he doesn't hate you, kou. can you tell me what happened?"

"i was taking a video of him while he walked around but then he tripped and i swear i was watching over him! he won't stop crying, oh god i'm gonna cry too."

"did he hit his head? is he seriously hurt anywhere?"

"no," bokuto mumbled and you sighed in relief.

"okay that's good. it'll be fine babe, kids fall sometimes, okay? especially at this stage where they're learning how to walk. just carry him around for a while and he'll eventually ca-"

"what if i drop him?! should i ask akaashi to come over??" he pressed the phone between his ear and shoulder, gently and carefully lifting his son from the ground, pressing him close to his chest despite being nervous.

"you won't drop him kou, i'll punch you if you do, and no, do not call keiji. you got this, babe, you're his dad and he needs you not his uncle."

it took a while to convince bokuto that he was going to be find and to get off the phone so he can start comforting your son. bokuto did as you said, cradling him in his arms while he walked around the house and pointing to the pictures on the wall until your son finally calmed down. the only problem was that his son would start crying again whenever he attempted to bring him down, tiny hands clinging around his neck and onto his shirt.

you arrived home around 8 pm, announcing your arrival only to be met with silence at the door.

"kou?"

your eyes softened as soon as you found him asleep on the couch with your son on top of his chest, his strong arms wrapped securely around the tiny human being. you quietly kneel beside the couch, stroking bokuto's hair which slowly woke him up.

"i'm home." you smiled.

bokuto brought a finger to his lips and you pressed your lips together, taking your son away from his arms so you can tuck him in for the night.

"i'm sooo tired," bokuto whined, resting his head on top of your chest and cuddling close to you as soon as you joined him in bed. "it's my turn to be baby."

you snorted, bokuto's soft snores filling the quiet room in just a few seconds. "goodnight baby."

reblogs & feedbacks r appreciated<3

2021 (c) sevmch | do not copy or repost.

[honeybunnybeez]

Did you even...? (ANGST)

♡ Prisoner!c!Dream x GN!Reader, (Mention of past poly!dream team x reader)

♡ Summary: You pay an old friend a visit. You just need to get something off your chest.

This place seemed to be even creepier on the inside than on the outside and stepping foot into the prison gave you immediate chills. You look over to Sam, who strides through the hall with no issue at all. Well, that does make sense, he did build the place after all. He knew the prison like the back of his hand.

He gives you a quick glance before breaking the silence and asking,

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"If I don't do it now, I'll never do it. Might as well take advantage of the situation while it's safe, right?"

He doesn't say anything in response, and while it does leave a slightly awkward tension in the air, you think it's for the best.

After going through the countless safety measures, you finally make it to the bridge.

"Stand back, let the lava wall fall first."

You nod, feeling your chest starting to tighten up from how nervous you're feeling. As the wall falls, you can see a cell in the distance, and in that cell, a very familiar figure.

You start to feel hesitant when you see him and soon you start to rethink your decision as well.

"I-"

"Last chance, (Y/n). Do you want to do this?" Sam asks, his voice now firmer than before. "I won't be able to follow you, but just know that he won't be able to harm you in there."

You take a deep breath and remind yourself once again, now or never. Do it while he can't properly hurt you, while he can't manipulate you, while you still want to give him a piece of your mind. If you don't let it out now you'll regret never taking this chance.

"Y-yeah, I want this. I have to do this."

Sam doesn't say anything else and turns his attention to the many switches on the wall. "Stand on the bridge and hold onto the railings tight. The moment the bridge connects to the cell hop off quick."

You nod and step onto the bridge.

Upon seeing that it truly is you, Dream is quick to walk towards you but the netherite wall stops him from getting too close too soon. You were here, actually here, visiting him. He hasn't see you in ages, not since he left you three and you still look so-

"Dream?"

...you still look so lovely.

Despite his blank look, he seems dead tired and for the first time in a long while, you actually feel sympathetic towards him, but that doesn't mean you were going to go easy on him. No, it's going to take a while before you find yourself comforting him. Though, despite what you tell yourself you still have to hold back from holding him like you used to do.

As the lava falls back down, along with the netherite wall, you let yourself step over that line, approaching closer towards him and he does the same too.

"(Y/n)."

You let out a sigh, a hand covering your face as you try to get your emotions in check. So many things to say but the dull ache you feel is a reminder that you have so little time, but you do know what to start off with. With a deep breath you finally say what you've been dying to tell him,

"You absolute fucking asshole."

You can't help the venom that seep into your voice as you utter those words and Dream can feel his heart break a little as you use that tone with him. This wasn't your usual teasing insults anymore, you were furious and your voice more than shows it.

"All of this, and for what, Dream?" You ask him.

'For power, for absolute control,' a part of him thinks to himself, but he can't find the courage to say it to you. He can't make things worse than it already is.

"I'm sure Sapnap told you, he never could keep his feelings to himself," the way he so casually says it makes you want to slap his mask right off. If only he was there to hear Sapnap claim that Dream never cared about them, how devastating it was to hear those words.

"You're a selfish prick,"

He is, isn't he?

"Such a greedy motherfucker,"

He's come to terms with that a long time ago.

"...An absolute heartbreaking bitch."

...He didn't expect to fall this hard, (Y/n), he didn't know he'd fall in love too.

Tears start to fall as everything grows to be too much from all the sorror and frustration you're letting out with each word you say. You try your best to wipe them away but it's no use. It just hurts. You wish George and Sapnap were here to comfort you, to hug you, but they weren't and you aren't going to simply hug the monster in front of you no matter how much you want to. As much as it hurts you can't find it in you to stop talking just yet though.

"Was what we all had just a joke to you?" You manage to sob out.

He stiffens a bit as his thoughts race. Inside he's begging you to stop, to please don't ask him that question.

"Was it fun? Y'know- stringing me, Sapnap and George along, saying such loving words. Sharing all those gentle kisses and late night giggles. Were those moments just fake to you?"

(Y/n) please.

"Dream,"

What can he say, what do you want him to say? Please, (Y/n) he doesn't know what to say-

"Did you even fucking love us?"

'Yes,' something inside of him screams, the part inside of him that he tried desperately to ignore ever since he left you three. He wants to shout out his answer, wants to hold you close and never let go, but he can't, because he knows damn well he doesn't deserve it and it kills him everytime he thinks about it. He doesn't deserve you and them.

His silence and blank stare breaks your heart, but at the same time, it also... relieves you, to know that you don't have to cling to any false hope. To know that you can just let go knowing nothing between you four were ever real to him.

You let out a hiccup and a shuddering sigh. Unclenching the fists you never knew you were clenching to begin with. You have so much to say, but you think you've finally reached your limit, so you focus on calming yourself, starting to feel foolish for losing it in front of him.

Silence between you two filled the room, with you looking down at the floor refusing to even glance at him and Dream not moving from where he stands, his thoughts fighting with one another as he thinks about what he should do or say.

Before Dream can open his mouth he sees you starting to sway a little bit. You feel yourself starting to grow weaker as your sobbing slowly stops and the dull ache from before is becoming unbearable, and that's when you realize the potion was still in effect. Your time was running out, you have to leave soon.

You accept whats coming, you said your piece, and even though you still feel like shit, a slight weight has been lifted off your chest . You got to meet him, and finally got to say what you wanted, face to face. You feel satisfied, at least for now.

"(Y/n)," his voice starts to sound like a distant echo as your head starts to throb.

"Don't... please don't say anything...," you feel the room start to spin and you're slowly losing your balance.

"(Y/n), please listen-"

"...I can't Dream. I can't-," and with that, you feel your heart stop and see the world around you turn black for just a moment before you wake up on the bed Sam had told you to set your spawn at. Your head is in a daze as you look around to check your surroundings. At that moment, it all felt so surreal, but you knew better than to think it was fake.

"...Fuck," you literally can't find anything else to say, feeling speechless and a little emotional.

"Feel better?" Sam asks as he walks over to check you over.

"Yeah, I think so..." a ping can be heard as your communicator goes off and it's from Sapnap.

You told him you'd be visiting the prison a few hours before but you weren't expecting him to come and pick you up, he even brought Quackity and Karl with him too. It's a pleasant surprise after that whole situation at least.

"Best not to keep them waiting, (Y/n)."

You let out a final hiccup before laughing softly, wiping away the remaining tears from your face.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Sam."

(Bonus!)

Before your souless body can hit the floor, Dream is quick to catch it and hold it as it starts to slowly fade. He starts to feel some of the tears he's been holding back fall and he doesn't bother to stop them. Instead, he just hugs your body closer to him. It doesn't feel the same with how cold and light it feels, but it's better than nothing.

As your body slowly starts to dissapear, he can't help but whisper out a string of apologies to it, pretending like you three can hear his voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

But no matter how hard he pleads, no voices answer back, only the soft flowing of lava and his screaming throughts return to be his only company.

Notes: Hello! Thank you so much for reading this if you did! I haven't written fanfic in ages so I may be hella hecking rusty. I'm also really sorry if this is beyond ooc and dramatic! I'll try to get better as time goes on!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

[www-artforoddballs]

Alright, so notice. Most of you probably know this, since you're following me for the Autistic Levi stuff (thank you, we're closing in on 100 followers!!!!), but people with autism can have "tantrums". I've kinda touched on this in a previous post (it's a full meltdown, but you can see that post here https://www-artforoddballs.tumblr.com/post/644803780958879744/autistic-levi-angstkinda-i-guess-this-is-him). For those of you who DON'T know, an autistic tantrum is not the same thing as what you'd think of in regards to a toddler or kid, it's just the word used for it. This is a mistake my mother and I made when getting the paperwork done while I was going through testing that later got cleared up lol

I had a tantrum yesterday, and so I figured that I could post about Leviathan having a tantrum, since it's still ready on my mind. I don't care if anyone else is proud of me for coping with it as well as I did, since it's a major improvement from last time I had one, but I am proud of myself!...with that in mind, here we go!!

There will be some angst in this post, like the last post in relation to this one, but like the last post, it turns out fine.

However.

Trigger warning for things such as self harm, both physical and verbal. If you or a loved one is self harming, either reach out to someone for help or reach out to that person to help, yeah?

OK on with the post.

-------------

First of all, Levi's autism is part of why his brothers always agree to help when there's a raffle for tickets or something like that on the DDD messages, because he can get overwhelmed if they don't at least help, even if he doesn't win in the end.

They figured out that his autism was the culprit for this shortly after his diagnosis.

Now when I'm writing for Levi, I like to think that his diagnosis was around the early 1990s since, while autism was a separate diagnosis in 1980, it didn't really start becoming fairly accepted and expanded upon until 1987. Hence why everyone is mostly used to it by now, but are still sometimes off put by his odd behavior; for them, as beings that have been around since...the beginning of the universe, pretty much as far as we know, but for at LEAST since humans were around (so at VERY least 2.5 million years now, but potentially up to around 7 million years (if they haven't been around since the beginning of creation)), this would be like...I dunno, give me a second.

Waiting

Waiting...

Okay, so from 1990(earliest year I have in mind) to 2019 (the year it was released) is 29 years. That's a minimum of 1/86,206.89th of their lifespan, and a maximum of 1/475,862,068.96th of their total lifetime.

So this is a VERY recent development for them on the grand scheme of things, but I digress.

So they're still figuring everything out, especially as the human race continues to learn about the condition itself.

So the first time Levi threw a tantrum and they recognized it for what it was...it was certainly interesting.

What had happened was exactly the situation described; Levi had wanted to go to a concert in the human world and they were raffling off free tickets. Except, unlike now, his brothers hadn't offered their support. They hadn't in the past, why would this time be any different?

Except now they viewed it through a different light. Leviathan had an image in his head that he desired so badly and had asked his brothers to support him, hopeful, only to be rejected at every turn. That he was used to, but it was still upsetting.

He put that to the side, though. He really wanted to see this band, and these were VIP tickets where you got to hang out with the band for a few hours after the concert! They'd cost a LOT of human money, and while they COULD afford it, he knew Lucifer would be bringing hell down upon him if he used that amount of family funds on a concert. And his anxiety was already somewhat raised, so he decided to enter the raffle on his own.

He sat there for hours, waiting for the results to come in. He'd hyped this up in his brain the entire time; He'd win, go to an amazing concert, have dinner with the band, maybe even make some friends....!...and then the results came back. He hadn't won.

As per usual, our snek boi went into one of his rants about how unfair it was, but instead of going on a rampage or something like that, locked himself up in his room and cried, hating himself for getting so excited over nothing.

As I mentioned before, I've made another post about a tantrum/getting too overwhelmed slipping into something even more dire, as that's almost always what happens to me. This would be in the 90s, so this would be their first real incident with one of these moments where they had the proper diagnosis, so bear with me, there will be some angst here, but like the other post, it'll be fine.

So Mammon ends up feeling bad for rejecting his little brother, and, not knowing it was too late, decided to go to his room and offer his support. It was almost Leviathan's birthday anyways, and Mammon knew how rejection felt and how much it sucked. So, he knocked on Leviathan's door.

No response. He knocked again...still no response, but a quiet sob.

Right away, Mammon switched from semi-carefree to worried. "Levi...?"

Again, no response. He decided to just go in and check on his brother...

The door was locked. And he smelled blood.

"Leviathan, I need you to open the door," Mammon said with a half hearted chuckle, his voice now becoming slightly strained. "Because if ya don't, I'm gonna have t' break the door down."

"Just go away!" Leviathan cried from inside his room. "Just leave me alone, you jerk!"

"I ain't goin' anywhere. Either open the door or I'm gonna break it down. Those are your two choices."

A moment of silence, before Mammon sighs, stretching, as he transforms into his demon form.

"Alright, option two it is."

He rammed into the door repeatedly, before the wood finally splintered and fell to the ground with a loud thud. Mammon quickly looked around, eyes widening as he saw Leviathan digging his own sharpened nails into his arms, multiple raked wounds, made by the same culprit, carved into his skin.

"Levi...look at ya..." Mammon said, voice faltering, tears welling up in his eyes. "I...how long has..."

"Just shut up! Don't act like you care about me, I'm the freak of our family, remember?! I'm the one whose brain isn't right, I'm just a shut-in, good for nothing, re-!"

He was quickly cut off by Mammon going to him and hugging him.

"I don't care who you are. You talk about my brother like that again and I'll kill you. Alright? You're a little off, but you ain't a freak, and your brain works just fine as is. You're perfect just the way you are, and if anybody else says any different, I'm gonna beat them the fuck up. Including you. Got that? So what if you've got that fancy lable on ya now...? Labels like that matter, but it didn't change ya. You're still my cringe, annoying as hell little weirdo of a brother...and I wouldn't have ya any other way."

Leviathan fully listened to Mammon talk, before clinging to him, breaking down sobbing again, and trying to explain what happened through his tears, the older demon gently rubbing his back and allowing him to cry it out, making sure no more harm was done.

A while later, once Levi had calmed down, Mammon ruffled his hair.

"Let's get you cleaned up, yeah? Lucifer is already gonna kill me for breaking your door, but he'd be even more pissed if I just left you here with those wounds."

So they did. And Mammon, after telling a VERY angry Lucifer what had happened hours later, had surprisingly NOT gotten chewed out by the eldest brother. Instead, that day, the entire family had a long discussion, and they all agreed that if it was something as small as entering a raffle, or even if it was bigger but not an inconvenience to anyone in the slightest, they'd all help out from then on. It's not like it was hard, and it would save Levi from hours of stress and negativity toward himself and others around him.

They also made a plan for if a tantrum were to happen while someone was around, or if he became too overwhelmed and started to spiral...because, as annoying as he could be, Leviathan was still family. And they loved him, oddities and all.

---------------

Alright, so...that was the post! I hope it was okay. I know I've written about this type of thing before a little, but different situations can end up with the same negative outcome, like being in an overwhelming situation, or not being able to change your thinking and not easily being able to get over your expectations. I've personally suffered with both, and it's a regular thing for me, so I like writing about it, because maybe, just maybe, it'll help someone out, or help someone that isn't autistic understand a friend or relative or classmate or employee better. And I love these characters, I really do. The only ironic thing is that I see so much of myself in Leviathan, but I adore him and despise myself. Go figure 😂

Regardless, I hope you enjoyed, and if there's anything you guys have questions about (in regards to me and my experience), or any specific writing requests, asks are fully open!

Thanks so much for being here to support me, you have no idea how much it means to a little oddball such as myself.

[animeyanderelover]

Hi! actually I'm kinda embrassed for requesting prompt because I already ask for hc...but can I request Black Butler number 26 with Ronald ? Thank you!!💓💓

You really don’t have to feel embarrassed about this, I don’t have a limit for sending requests though I appreciate it if a person knows when to stop. But two requests are fine with me.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, clinginess, death, killing

Prompt 26: “...Why do you cry?! Who made you cry?! Tell me their fucking names so I can rip their heads off for making my angel cry!!!”

You hadn't quite realized how much time had already passed by, the whole day had been gone by in a blur, you not even realizing that it was already night, sun nearly having disappeared from the horizon completely. Time flew by fast, didn't it?

If you would have known that sooner, maybe this sudden news wouldn't have hit you that hard. Of course not only the old people died due to their age or a sudden disease took someone, who could have actually spend a lot more time under the living, deceased all of a sudden. Basically anything could happen to someone, no matter how old or young anywhere.

That had today sunken in in you, having attended the funeral of your closest friend. He had passed all too suddenly away, even for his parents his death had been a shock. The reasoning of death was unknown, the only obvious fact was that he had been murdered by someone, all alone and most likely petrified before his life had been taken from you.

His parents had told you that he had wanted to tell you something on that night, what exactly they didn't know. He hadn't even told them, saying that for now it was only for your ears to hear. It stung incredibly that he would never get the chance now to tell you and you couldn't hep, but wonder what exactly he had wanted to say to you. Now it didn't matter anymore anyways, he was dead.

And you, you were deeply caught in your palace of thoughts, going through anything you could have and should have done whilst you still had the time with him. It was funny, people never seemed to think about everything they could have done better whilst they had a certain someone in thei life until this person was gone. Why was that? Why didn't you do more for him? With him? The only thing you had left now were your memories with him and a bleeding wound his sudden death had left in your heart.

So you didn't even realize the soft knocks on your door at first, nor even when they seemed to get louder and more harsher. You were too deep in your own land, memories flashing nonstopping in front of your eyes. Memories which had once been sweet and warm, but now were bitter and painful. Why had he leave this early? He hadn't even lived his life yet. He hadn't met a nice person yet, hadn't even experienced true love yet. And now he would never.

"(y/n)! Hey! I know you're in there! What's wrong did something happen?" A sudden voice finally made you very slowly turn your attention somewhat back to the real world, realizing who's voice it was. Was it already that late since Ronald had appeared in front of your house? He usually was busy during the day, working didligently before coming later always over to you and spend the time he had with you. He was your boyfriend after all. A clingy and very smothering boyfriend, but you still loved him a lot.

At first you didn't feel the real motivation to move. You had hit the bottom of your current misery, mourning over your best friend, the most idiotic, but lovable person you had ever met. Next to that you really didn't want Ronald to see you in your current state. Cheeks and part of your clothes, especially your sleeves, being stained with your own tears, hair disheveled due to having tossed around in bed the last few hours, meaning that your pillow had already fallen victim to your sorrow and crying. You didn't only feel shitty, you were convinced you looked that way as wel.

"(y/n)! Something is wrong, isn't it? What happened babe? You know you can talk to me about anything!" His voice was weakened due to the wooden door and the distance between it and your bedroom, being seperated by exactly one floor. But you still sensed it in his voice, the steadily raising worry and panic. Your eyes wandered to the door of your bedroom, thinking whether you should ignore him and spend this night alone or let him in and searching for comfort in him.

"If you don't open this door in the next minute, I'll break it! Come on, sweetie! Please let me in and help you!" You might as well have taken it as a joke at first, not believing that he would seriously break your door if it wouldn't have been for the following sentences. "(y/n). Open the door. Now."

There was this sudden switch in his voice, going from the typically 'overworried boyfriend' tone to something else. Just know he had sounded somewhat deeper and much more calmer than before, his voice somehow giving you the feeling that he wasn't kidding. You were talking about Ronald, he wouldn't do something like this...right?

Deciding that you didn't want to find out, you slowly started sitting up, blinking the exhaustion out of your eyes and wiping the wetness decorating your face as good as possibly away, hoping it wouldn't be too obvious what you had done the last few hours. But whom were you even trying to fool? Even the most oblivious person would have noticed that you had been crying.

"Don't break the door! I'm coming already." You had barely the strength to scream loud enough so that he would hear you, voice scratching uncomfortably against your throat, needing some rest after all the previous whimpers and small cries of yours. You actually contorted your face a bit when hearing yourself yelling those words, voice breaking at the end of the last sentence and the unpleasant hoarse sound your voice made. There was no way Ronald wouldn't have heard this.

He didn't. "Are you feeling well? You sound terrible! Please let me in!" The knocking sounds intensified together with his growing panic, making you hurry up, despite feeling like your body wasn't able to handle anything above just laying in bed. When hearing your steps approaching, you heard something akin to scratching sounds on the door, imagining that Ronald was getting a bit desperate.

Without any words you opened the door, instantly stepping behind it whilst holding it wide open for him to enter, hiding behind it since you didn't want him to witness how terrible you currently looked with your red and puffy eyes.

You heard him quickly stumbling in, almost falling due to having leaned his body against the door. But he managed to not be greeted with the floor, catching his balance and instantly turning his head around, searching for you. It took him less than two seconds before he had discovered your form, still hiding behind the wood.

One step was all it took for him to be by your side, grabbing the door and closing it quickly, shielding you and him from anyone outside witnessing what was going on in this house.

You had lowered your head to the ground, gaze focusing instead on his shoes which you could clearly see. They didn't really interest you, but you didn't want to look up in his face. A stupid thing to do, you knew he would make you anyways. But it was just how you acted right now.

"Babe..." His voice had gone soft, hands gently holding yours and squeezing them in a comforting manner. "What's wrong? What makes you currently feel down? Tell me how can I help."

You let out a bitter and pained chuckle, starting to grip his hands in a firmer hold as well, feeling the rising need to throw yourself in his arms and hopefully get rid of some of the currently heavy rain clouds of grief and aching surrounding your heart. "I don't think you can help me as much as you would like. Not in a wa you want to right now."

Bitterness was dripping out of every word you spoke and you found yourself quickly burrying your head in his chest and letting go of his hands, instead grabbing his arms and tightening your grip on them as you felt once again the burning and hot sensation of tears gathering in your eyes and tracing your cheeks once again. You were emotional and knew it, but who wouldn't be after such a shocking and heartbreaking loss.

Ronald himself felt his heart breaking a bit as well when suddenly feeling you clinging onto him so tightly, your tight grip on him being a silent and wailing plead for any sort of affection and comfort he could possibly give you. It hurt him seeing you like this, normally you weren't like this. The tears wetting his clothes in that moment were just adding up to this dolorous pulling on his heart strings and he felt himself embrace you rather quickly in a warm and slightly possessive hug, feeling himself growing slowly slightly angry at whatever or whoever had put you in your current condition.

"What's wrong?" Everything was wrong. You had just lost an important person and were crying rivers over him. "I...I...T-today..." You had barely time to hiccup anything, especially a full sentence out during your increasing sobs. You had thought that you had cried the worst part out earlier, but now that you had Ronald with you, the string that had seemed to hold your emotions in check seemed to be cut off, making everything inside of you turning up and down again. It was not a completely bad thing. it just meant that in presence of Ronald you felt like you didn't have to hide anything. Nevertheless, it only added even more layers of pain and heartbreak over your currently fragile heart.

You felt him tensing up the more your breath became erratic and the more you sounded like you would choke any minute on your own sobs, the more his grip tightened around you and his attempts to hush you and try to calm you down sounded more and more panicked. You hadn't even time to answer his questions, being too busily drowning in your own tears.

"...Why do you cry?! Who made you cry?! Tell me their fucking names so I can rip their heads off for making my angel cry!!!"

You stiffened up, slightly startled by the sudden loud noise which Ronald quickly noticed. "I'm sorry for scaring you just now! I'm...just panicking right now a bit because I don't even know why you're so upset. I want to help you and feel currently a bit useless because I can't do anything to make you feel better."

He had quickly lowered his voice, using a more gentle and comforting tone to not scare you again. You slowly managed to relax again in his hold, acknowledging the fact that he was right now just worried over you. "It's-it's fine. I'm just...my-my best friend (f/n) died today. Earlier his fu-funeral was held."

You felt slight confusion stirring up inside of you when you felt him shortly stopping in his movements, feeling his muscles cramping a bit under his skin. You lifted slowly your head, blinking up at him.

Maybe for the shortest of seconds you thought he had a weirdly guilty expression on his face, but maybe your vision had just been a bit blurred due to the still present tears in your eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I remember that I've read something about this in the newspaper this morning. He was yesterday evening killed, right?" You just nodded, pushing the look on his face quickly away, deciding it had just been an imagination due to your tears. "Don't worry, it'll get better over time. I'll be here for you whenever you need me." You dearly hoped that you could believe in those words.

Maybe he should have thought about it more before doing it, he hadn't expected you to be in so much sorrow. Sure, he had definitely knew that you would go through a phase of sadness and pain, but he hadn't expected such an extreme reaction. He had needed about three hours to manage to calm you just enough down so you could finally give your mind a rest and go to sleep because he had realized just how exhausted you had looked, all the stress and crying tiring you out. His whole shirt had been soaked by tears and snot, but it wasn't like he cared. His focus had only been on helping you finally getting some sleep.

Maybe...just maybe Ronald could have done it a different way. But now it was too late to regret such things and thinking back, he had given the guy many chances to back off. He knew how close both of you had been to each other and the last thing he had needed would have been competing with your childhood friend. He had been unsure, feeling threatened. What if you would have chosen your friend over him?

But now that man was gone forever and whilst Ronald felt definitely terrible for having inflicted so much suffering onto you, he also couldn't help, but feel the tiniest bit glad that he would continue holding you whilst you were sleeping safe and soundly. You most likely wouldn't be that way if you would know that he was the one who had killed your friend.

But only him and your friend knew this. And that guy would never get a chance to tell you, he had taken that secret with him in the afterworld. Just like his love confession...

[farfromsugafanfic]

Sutures - Chapter Five: Murmurs

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): mentions of family illness, a disgusting amount of fluff

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

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"Sumi!" Jungkook called. "Can you do us a favor?" 

Jungkook and Jimin stood outside your door. You could tell they were up to something based on the smirk on their faces. 

You had been quietly knitting, trying to forget the events of earlier that day with Minki and what happened in the backseat with Yoongi. You still felt Yoongi's lips on your stomach, soft, yet, demanding. He hadn't managed to leave any marks this time, which you were grateful for, but part of you wished you could have a reminder of the secret between you. 

"What?" you asked.

"Yoongi was going to wake up at four to help us with the production on the new song. And it's almost four thirty now. Can you wake him up for us?"

You glanced at the two boys who while they seemed mischievous, seemed genuinely like they didn't want the task of having to wake up Yoongi. 

"Why can't you do it?" you asked, putting aside the hat you were currently working on. 

"He'll be nicer to you," Jungkook said. "He's grumpy when he wakes up." 

You laughed slightly. "All right, fine."

You followed the two boys towards Yoongi's bedroom. You hadn't stepped foot in his bedroom yet, having only been in his studio. You opened the door slowly and tiptoed towards the bed where the boy's form was curled up asleep. Despite being taller than you, when he slept he made himself look so small, his knees curled up towards his chest and his arms around a pillow. 

"Yoongi," you said, lightly shaking his shoulder. "The boys said you wanted to get up at four. It's four thirty." 

You hear an annoyed groan and before you could protest, Yoongi dropped the pillow and pulled you onto the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder and you felt the soft scratch of his barely there facial hair. 

"Sleep with me," he whispered, his hot breath tickling your ear. 

You reached up to the pillow above you and threw it back towards him, hearing it hit with a solid thud. 

"Fuck you." You attempted to squirm from his grasp, your legs kicking the covers and his legs. Yet, he never loosened his grip. 

"Already have," he whispered, his voice husky. You felt his smirk against your shoulder blades and for a moment you thought he would begin kissing you again. But, as you reached for another pillow, his arms released from around you. 

You got up from the bed and walked out of his room, his scent clinging to your clothes. You stopped to glance at Jungkook and Jimin who stood by the door, wide eyed at what they witnessed. You could only imagine what it looked like to them: Yoongi pulling you onto the bed and kissing you as you playfully tried to push him away. 

"I see why no one likes waking him up."

The two boys awkwardly nodded and walked into Yoongi's bedroom, shutting the door behind them. 

You couldn't help but laugh slightly at the boy's assumptions before walking back towards your bedroom at the end of the hall. 

---

You hadn't spoken to your parents since before the night you and Yoongi met. You didn't call much due to the long distance charges to the US, but you figured you needed to update them about everything. 

"Hello?" your mom answered the phone. "Sumi?"

"Hi mom," you said. "How's everything?"

"Good, busy as always. But, don't worry about us, how is my daughter?"

"Well, there's a lot that's happened since I talked to you last." 

You explained the situation, careful not to tell your mom too much. You knew if you explained that you'd had a one night stand your mom would be disappointed and scold you. Despite being an ocean away in California, your mother still managed to make you feel like you were a fifteen-year-old again who got caught sneaking out. 

"Oh, I'm so happy you finally got rid of Minki," your mother said. "I never liked him. And I can't wait to meet this soulmate of yours, what did you say his name was again?"

---

"Min Yoongi," Yoongi heard as he walked towards your room on the way to the bathroom. He stopped, noticing the small crack in your door. He wondered if you had managed to see him in the hallway, but as he approached he noticed that you were pacing around your room. 

"No, mom, don't Google..." You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. "I get it, mom," you said laughing. "He's cute." 

You didn't talk for a moment, but you cutely chewed on your bottom lip which made Yoongi want to replace your teeth with his own. He pushed back the thought as you spoke again. 

"Well, we all agreed it would be best for me to move in with his band so that his career wouldn't be affected and I could continue working online or once things get better do in-person sessions."

You went silent again. Yoongi couldn't hear what your mother was saying because she was speaking so quickly. 

"I know, mom," you said. "I'll be careful. The only trouble we've had has been with Minki. His fans don't know."

Yoongi's stomach turned. Guilt.

"At first, I wanted to go along with what the doctor's said and do the relationship, but I'm glad we didn't now. It may be harder for a while, but we barely knew each other and asking one another to put in effort to a relationship neither one of us wanted didn't make sense." 

Despite your words being Yoongi's rationale, they felt so harsh coming from your mouth. He was glad the arrangement had become easier for you, but there was part of him that felt disappointed. 

---

"How's grandma?" you asked, once your mom had finally calmed down about Yoongi. She had taken it better than you expected her to, however, you were slightly worried she was expecting grandchildren any day. 

"Good," your mom answered. "The doctors say her treatment is going well. As they say, no news is good news." 

You sigh, wishing you could be in the US with your family, but you stayed behind to go to school and by the time you finished, you already had a life you didn't want to leave in Korea. You visited as often as you and your parents could afford, but that was normally only at the holidays. 

You had no siblings and many of your parent's siblings were also in the US or in Busan. Seoul was a lonely city, but you made it work.

"All right, well take care of her and yourself, okay, mom? And tell dad I miss him."

You ended the call after you both said your goodbyes. You sighed in relief at having finally explained the situation to your family, but you couldn't help the worry that formed in your stomach. You were normally able to suppress the constant worry about your grandmother, but every time you talked to your mom it always seemed to worsen.

---

Yoongi stepped away from your door once you hung up, so he wouldn't be discovered. He felt a small pang of guilt from eavesdropping, but your door was open and you had been talking about him. He pushed it away, knowing it really didn't matter. 

He walked back to his studio and sat down at his desk, Jungkook and Jimin listening to their vocals. He wondered what was up with your grandma, while it didn't seem out of place to ask how she was doing, the way your brow had furled and the way you chewed your lip nervously made him think that there was something else going on. 

"Yoongi?" Jimin asked, taking off his headphones. "Everything okay?"

Yoongi shook himself out of it. 

"Yeah," he said. "Sorry, not awake yet." 

---

"Sumi," Namjoon said, knocking politely on your bedroom door. "Do you want to come and help me work out some lyrics?"

You looked at the leader in somewhat disbelief, your eyes wide and your lips pursed. 

"Me?" you asked. "Wouldn't one of the boys be better?"

"Maybe," he said. "But, it's not often we get a perspective of someone outside of the industry, and you've been in your room since you got back. I know it was tough to face your ex and thought you might like some company." 

You smiled, Namjoon was so perceptive, you wondered if he could read your mind. You realized how much easier it would be if you were his soulmate instead of Yoongi's. Namjoon understood you and always seemed to know how to make you feel better. 

"You can bring your project with you," he said, leaving towards his studio and leaving the door open for you. 

You followed the leader to his studio, which had fewer obstacles to enter than Yoongi's. Although, once you entered it was largely similar. A simple design with a few decorations and various awards hung on the wall.

He pulled up a chair beside him and motioned for you to sit down beside him. You sat down and looked over all the equipment on his desk. A normal desktop with multiple monitors, other things you didn't recognize, like a machine with various knobs and switches, and a microphone. 

You remembered seeing most of the same equipment in Yoongi's studio, except he had a keyboard he kept in the center of everything. The black and white keys almost taking over the room. 

Namjoon opened up a notebook with various notes in it. You even noticed a few notes in English, making you smile and remember that the two of you shared the language in common. 

"How'd you get into music?" you asked in English. 

"I always liked music," he said, also responding in English. "I read a lot and eventually it translated into writing. I don't know, it all just kind of happened naturally."

You smiled, noting the way his face lit up as he talked about his passion, his dimples appearing on his cheeks. 

"I understand," you said. "I always liked to teach people when they learned that I speak English. I should've charged when I was in high school for all the tutoring I did, but I enjoyed it enough that I didn't care." 

"What about knitting?" he asked. 

"I was always crafty," you said, laughing. "Whenever I visited my grandmother in the US, she always had a knitting project and she talked about how it calmed her, made her realize she had more control over her fate than she believed. She used to tell me stories about the Fates in Greek mythology and how knitting made her feel like one." You looked down at your project--a black hat. "So, whenever I feel out of control, I knit. Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm making until it's finished." 

You quickly bound off the yarn and slapped the finished hat on Namjoon's head, giggling. You expected him to take it off immediately and hand it back, but instead, he used the nearest computer monitor to adjust it so it sat over his hair attractively. 

"It looks nice," you said. 

---

The two of you worked in comfortable silence, the hat you made still sitting on Namjoon's dyed hair. You'd started a new hat with the same black yarn. You wondered if he had a girlfriend to give it to. You and Minki always used to wear matching hats or scarfs or gloves. He took whatever you made him wholeheartedly. They were probably still sitting in the top drawer of his dresser. You wished you could unravel the yarn and turn them back into a tangled ball of string. 

Namjoon would occasionally run a line past you or hum a melody without realizing. You even found yourself humming the same melody back to him and when you did, he always shot you a small smile. 

"Let's see what fans think of my new hat," he said, taking a selfie with his phone. 

"Wait! Don't post that! Won't they think you have a girlfriend or something?"

He gave you an odd look before looking down at the picture. 

"Does Yoongi have you that paranoid? If anyone questions it, I'll just say a fan made it," he said. "Not exactly a lie." 

Your shoulders slumped realizing the easy solution. It was true that since the shoe incident, you were scared to be visible in the boys' lives. Their careers meant more to them than it did to you. You could be an English tutor nearly anywhere and no one could take knitting from you, but their music could be taken from them. You didn't want to be the reason they lost their passions.

"Come on," he said. "I have to go run this past Yoongi. You're welcome to come along." 

You followed Namjoon to Yoongi's studio, taking your yarn and knitting needles with you. Namjoon rang the doorbell to Yoongi's studio and you had to stop yourself from laughing at the ritual of it all.

Yoongi came and opened the door. He greeted Namjoon and while he seemed slightly surprised to see you, held the door open to you. 

"She's great to bounce lyrics off," Namjoon said. "Surprised you haven't picked up on that yet." 

You sat down on the couch in the back of the studio while the two boys discussed the lyrics and the song. You took the opportunity to go on Twitter, seeing the picture of Namjoon in the hat. All of the fans complimented him, telling him he looked cute and demanding he go to bed because it was late. You smiled, hoping that if the fans ever found out about you, they would have similar reactions.

You went back to knitting, but couldn't help and look up when you heard the sound of the piano. Yoongi was playing the melody Namjoon had been humming earlier and you were impressed by his ability to translate the hums into notes so quickly. 

His fingers slide over the keys naturally--the keys an extension of his fingers--much like the needles you held. Yoongi was serious, but unlike his normal seriousness which was grumpy or sexy (depending on the day), this time he was focused. His lips slightly pouted and his body relaxed. 

Music for him was the knitting to you. It was the creation that helped you escape yourself to feel the smoothness of the keys or the needles beneath your fingers and trust that something beautiful would come from it.

---

You had fallen asleep by the time Yoongi and Namjoon had finished; still occasionally moving your fingers, trying to knit in your sleep. Yoongi smiled, remembering the times he woke up in the studio seeing the notes he'd unknowingly composed while he was asleep.

"Do you want me to wake her up?" Namjoon asked. 

"No," Yoongi said, shaking his head. "Let's not disturb her." 

Namjoon nodded, grabbing his notebook and leaving the room. He closed the door softly so he wouldn't wake you. 

Yoongi looked down at your sleeping form. It seemed he'd seen you sleeping nearly as much as he'd seen you awake since the first time you met. The night you spent together, you'd fallen asleep first, cuddling into his side. Normally, he wasn't the cuddling type, at least not with a girl he'd just met, but seeing the lipstick smeared across your pouty lips and your tangled hair spread out across the pillow, he hadn't been able to resist. 

He grabbed your knitting needles and yarn, setting them on the edge of his desk, within your sight so you could easily find them in the morning. It wasn't the first time he'd moved your knitting needles, for something you loved so much, you often left them laying around. Yoongi opened the bottom drawer of his desk where he kept a blanket for when his studio was cold or when he fell asleep while working. 

He covered your form before shutting off the light and leaving the room quietly.

[thehouseoflamentation]

Hello love! So I'm dying to request (if you are comfortable with this) some breeding kink h/c of the demon brothers during breeding season. How do they act towards m/c while they are in heat? Thank you, I love you and your writing is amazing!

*holds up anon* THIS ONE!!! I LIKE THIS ONE!!!!!! Anon u are a person after my own heart <3  Sorry this took longer than I originally planned and it’s a bit more like a scenario but I hope you enjoy this!! ^-^

Lucifer

He would lock himself up in his room and refuse to get anywhere near you. Your scent alone is enough to drive him into a frenzy so he is extra cautious during breeding season. At first you offer to help him but right now he wants nothing to do with you. Its for your own safety after all. 

However your persistence eventually wears him down. One day as you stop by his room to bring him some food, you notice a small pill case and a note slipped from underneath the door. “Take these and come inside if you want to help me. Don’t complain if you won’t be able to walk when this is over.” 

You took the contraceptives and stepped inside. The room was rather dark so you barely noticed when you had bumped into Lucifer until you saw is silhouette looming over you. Without a word he lifted you over his shoulder and brought you over to his bed. He had been holding himself back all this time so when he finally had you to himself to couldn’t wait a single second longer. He tore your clothes off eager to feel your skin against his.  

Once he threw his clothes off the last bit of restraint he had went out the door. He entered you and immediately started thrusting trying to relieve the tension he had from being in heat. He would cum inside you over and over again only stopping momentarily to either change positions or switch to use your mouth. The next few days consisted only of eating, sleeping, and fucking; the last activity took up most of your time together. 

When it was over you were covered in bruises and bitemarks, trophies from surviving your first breeding season with Lucifer. Feeling rather sticky from the copious amounts of cum he poured inside and outside of you he helped clean you up in the shower, leaving kisses over the marks he made. He let you take the next few days off feeling that you deserved it after being oh so helpful this breeding season. 

Mammon 

He was the Avatar of Greed. There’s no way he wouldn’t let himself indulge in what he wanted and that included you as well. While he initially planned on staying away from you until the breeding season was over he couldn’t bear it anymore. As a human you were unaware of the brother’s heat cycle so you had no idea that every one of your little gestures had been driving Mammon over the edge since day one of his heat. 

Right now he needed you more than anything. He invited you to his room and quickly tried to explain what breeding season was, why he needed you, and why you needed to take your clothes off as fast as possible and help him, all while frantically trying to undress himself. In his rush you were able to get the gist of what he was saying and agreed to help him. If only you knew the full extent of what you signed up for. 

Once you removed your last piece of clothing he threw you onto his bed. He wanted to enter you as fast as possible but he didn’t want to hurt you so he immediately started eating you out to get you wet and ready to take him all while stroking himself to relieve some tension. 

When you were finally ready for him he started thrusting at full speed. You felt so tight around his cock he couldn’t stop himself from indulging in the ecstasy of it all, letting his hips crash into yours over and over again. 

As he moved in and out of you he wrapped his arms around your torso. His entire body was hot to the touch but that didn’t stop him from clinging onto you, desperate to feel your body against his. His gentle nibbles turned into deep love bites as his instincts kicked in urging him to mark you as his own.

 You couldn’t count the number of times he released inside of you. He rarely pulled out unwilling to let any of his seed go to waste so instead you took in all of him until you could feel his cum dripping out of you and down your thighs. It seemed like he had an infinite amount of stamina because when one round ended another immediately followed after. You were in for a very long breeding season. 

When it was finally over your entire body was sore. Too exhausted to do much of anything, the two of you stayed in bed comforting each other until you had the energy to move again. 

Leviathan

For whatever reason, the universe decided that Levi would start his heat cycle early that year. He was used to being a shut in but now this meant that he had to hole himself up in his room and stay away from you while the rest of his brothers got to be with you until their heat cycles started. The thought of his brothers being able to enjoy your scent, your touch, your everything all while he was forced to stay under lock down was unbearable. The only comfort he had was from the items he *ahem* borrowed from your room in preparation for his heat. 

A few days had passed and you noticed that Levi had been coming out of his room way less than usual and that’s really saying something considering it was Levi. When his brothers explained that he had entered his heat cycle and would have to stay isolated until it was over, you became determined to help him. 

It took a lot of comforting and reassurance to get him to remove the spell barrier he put on his door but once he did you finally saw the desperate state he was in. You could hear the faint sound of creaking and panting grow louder as you approached his bed. Levi was gripping one of your shirts, desperately trying to take in as much of your scent as he could all while stroking himself with his free hand. When he saw you by his bedside he didn’t waste a second pulling you down onto the bed with him. He buried his face in your hair and started grinding on you, the feeling of your soft warm thighs rubbing against his cock made his head spin. 

He only stopped for a moment to remove the rest of your clothes then continued to rub himself against your entrance until his dick was coated in your arousal. He gave you one last look of concern to make sure you were alright and once you nodded in response, he let his lust and desire take over. 

He wrapped his arms around your chest, pulling you in close and allowing no distance between your bodies as he thrusted into you. The sound of slapping mixed with moans echoed in the darkness of the room as your bodies clung tightly to each other. 

You could feel his cock throbbing inside of you and braced yourself for his first load. No matter how gentle he tried to be with you for the next few days, the small amount of restraint Levi had left wasn’t enough to stop him from cumming inside you over and over again until his was seed was leaking down your legs. 

He refused to let you out of his embrace until his heat was over and when he did you no longer had the energy to move. When it was over Levi looked at the marks he left on your body. You were his first human mate and you managed to take him so well this breeding season. As he pulled you close one last time, resting his head on your chest, he wondered if you would his mate next year as well. 

Satan

A week before his heat started he took it upon himself to warn you about breeding season. He knew how rough he could be when you normally had sex and he wasn’t about to let you come near him while he was wrecked with hormones. Even though you were willing to help, he wouldn’t allow it. He would never forgive himself if he hurt you, just the thought of it made his chest tighten. So instead, you devised a strategy to help him with his heat without directly coming into contact with him...or at least that was what the plan was supposed to be. 

A few days before his cycle started, you gathered some of your clothes, some perfume you usually used, and a few suggestive photos of yourself to keep Satan occupied while he was in heat. Most importantly you turned your D.D.D (phone) on so he could call you if he needed anything. The first day went smoothly. He called you in the morning and again in the afternoon to let you know he was alright. His voice was calm, not a single indication of stress or tension in his voice. Your supply kit must have worked! The second and third day flew by without incident but on the fourth day, all hell broke loose.

Your clothes no longer had your scent, the perfume was all used up, and the pictures you gave him only made Satan crave your touch even more. In his desire for you he thought of one last resort. The only loophole to this situation was hidden in one of the dozens of spellbooks lying around his room and after spending the first three days of his heat searching for it, he finally found it. That night he called you after dinner asking you to come to the entrance of his room. You did as you were told but stood in shock as he gave you one last request. Enter the room.

The one fatal warning Satan had given you just days before and now he was telling you to ignore it. He assured you that you would be fine but doubt settled in your mind as you were unable to tell if that was really him or the sweet words of a demon overtaken by their own heat. Nonetheless you had faith in him and ultimately decided to step inside the room. 

Once you entered the room you found him sprawled across his bed, his arms and legs outstretched and unmoving. He beckoned you to come closer and you did as you were told taking care not to step on any of the books and pages that were strewn on the floor. When you finally reached his bedside he explained his new plan. 

He placed a spell on himself that would bind him for the next few hours making it impossible for him to move and impossible for him to hurt you. As much as he wanted to hold you close and dominate you in any way he pleased, this was the only plan he would think of to avoid hurting you all together. 

That night you rode Satan for hours until the spell started to wear off. Everytime your legs started to get tired he used a hex to keep your energy, stamina, and libido going. You milked him again and again until his cum dripped down your thighs and stained the bedsheets underneath. 

The spell wore off at sunrise so for your own safety you had to gather your clothes and limp out of the room before Satan could move again and potentially lose control. For the rest of the breeding season, whenever he needed you he would repeat the spell and give you a call. And each time without fail, you answered it. 

Asmo

Asmo has always been a horny bastard every day of the year and being in heat only made him a hundred times worse. As soon as his cycle started his brothers barricaded him in his room to prevent him from causing trouble for anyone else while he was stuck in his most carnal state. Being in heat and having the power to charm anyone who looks your way was a very dangerous combination. If they didn’t take precautions there’s no telling what Asmodeus might do. 

Being the Avatar of Lust and not being able to have sex during breeding season felt like torture for him. And not the good kind of torture. Sure he had plenty of toys and suggestive material to keep himself busy but it just never felt the same. 

Having your dorm room share a wall with Asmo’s room wasn’t a great situation either. From day one you could hear him panting and moaning loud enough for the sounds to make it past the dense brick barrier that separated the two of you. One part of you was annoyed with him but another part of you felt pity for him as each groan and whimper sounded more desperate than the last. 

His brothers warned you not to approach him in this condition but you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t just ignore your boyfriend’s cries and it's not like you could sleep with him moaning loud enough for the rest of the dorm to hear it. It was well past midnight when you made it to Asmodeus’s room and knocked gently on the door hoping for any kind of response. His panting stopped for a moment as you heard his footsteps draw closer to the entrance of room. You explained through the door that you were there to help him. Even though you knew it wasn’t the best idea to meet him during his heat you didn’t enjoy letting him suffer alone. Still even if he wanted to Asmodeus couldn’t open the door. Lucifer had placed a curse on it that won’t allow him or any other demon to go in or out. Luckily though you were not a demon which was very evident once you turned the handle on the door and let yourself in. 

As soon as you closed the door Asmo cradled your face in his hands and crashed his lips against yours. He had been isolated for the past few days so once he saw you he knew he wasn’t going to let a single second go to waste which was rather apparent once you looked down. You were definitely expecting him to be like this but you were not so prepared to find him stark naked the moment you walked in. You could feel your back press up against the door as Asmo slipped his hands beneath your shirt; massaging your chest and pinching your nipples before moving down to your stomach and towards your hips. 

Normally, Asmo would tempt and tease you as if he had all the time in the world, but now all he wanted was to enter you and finally get the contact he’s been craving for this entire breeding season. You could sense his anticipation so you wasted no time in removing your clothes and giving just what he wanted. Once your underwear was off Asmo grabbed your thighs and lifted you up pressing your back further against the door as he thrusted into you. The wooden frame rattled every time Asmo rammed his hips into you, the noise only stopping when he finally released deep inside you. 

For the next few days the constant sensation of Asmo’s cock throbbing and grinding into you was burned into your mind. Even without the effects of his charm your mind felt numb with pleasure as you reached orgasm after orgasm. You no longer remember how many times he came inside of you but you could feel the area near your stomach swell just a bit. By the end of it all, both of you had used up all your stamina unable to do anything besides cuddle and sleep until you regained your strength.

Beelzebub

Breeding season was always weird for Beelzebub. For once his hunger wasn’t solely focused on food but rather on something else that felt equally insatiable. He wasn’t too fond of being locked in his room for breeding season either. He knew he had to stay isolated to control himself for a bit but that also meant he couldn’t go out to eat and would have to wait until someone brought him food. 

You felt pretty bad about his situation so you volunteered to bring him food whenever you could in addition to the meals that were prepared for him. For the first few days he seemed to be doing rather well but soon you noticed something was off. The bagel you slid under his door earlier that morning was still there left uneaten. 

Knowing that Beel would usually never leave leftovers you decide to ask him if something is wrong but you’re met with silence, not even the sound of his stomach grumbling. You try to reach out to him one more time promising to help him in any way you can. It’s only then that you saw him peek his head around the door. He asked you one more time if you really wanted to help him only letting you into his room once you nodded in agreement. 

Your little conversation in the doorway used up what little restraint Beelzebub had and now that you were alone with him he was going to take full advantage of your “help”. As he stared down at you it seemed that for once his lust outweighed his hunger as he tore off your clothes and carried you over to his bed. Once your back touched the bedsheets Beelzebub spread your legs apart leaving kisses and bites on your inner thigh before burying his tongue inside you. To him you weren’t just a snack, you were a full meal and he wasn’t gonna stop until he had his fill. As you squirmed, he pinned your hips onto the bed holding you still while he licked and sucked your clit to his heart’s content. 

You were so wrapped in ecstasy you failed to notice that he stopped until you realized he was no longer between your legs and was now on top of you. You could feel the head of his cock rubbing against your entrance and braced yourself as he thrust his full length into you and started pounding into your core. 

Even though he usually held back since he knew how big he was compared to you, that detail was left as an afterthought due to all the tension from his heat. For the rest of the breeding season when Beel wasn’t eating, all his energy went to fucking you. Every time so much as a drop of his cum seeped out of you he went right back in to fill you up with another load. When his heat finally ended you were covered in cum and bitemarks, unable to move. Beels heat induced lust faded away but his hunger still remained. He made a mental note to bring back some of your favorite snacks for when you wake up in addition to all the aftercare he was going to give you.  

Belphegor

Belphegor hated breeding season. His heat made him too horny to sleep and since he kept using all his energy to get himself off he always ended up tired. Usually there wasn’t much he could do aside from stay in his room and wait until his heat was over. Even with his soft bed and hoards of pillows Belphegor knew he was in for another uncomfortable season. 

 From what you heard from the others breeding season was typically a tough time for a demon, especially one without a partner to find comfort in. They warned you not to approach Belphegor until his heat was over since there was a chance he might lose control, however you found their advice rather hard to believe. Belphegor was always gentle with you and when he wasn’t he let you choose the pace you were comfortable with. A few days past and you forgot their warnings, letting yourself slip into Belphegor’s room eager to help him in any way possible. 

His room was certainly dark but even so you could hear his soft moans emanating from his bed. You moved carefully towards the source of the sound ready to explain that you were there to help but before you had the chance to speak an arm shot out and pulled you into the heap of pillows that sat on top of the bed. You couldn’t see a thing, all you could sense was Belphegor’s hot breath against the skin of your neck as his whimpers grew more and more desperate. He moved closer to you, his lips brushed against the outside of your ear. “Please...help me…” was all you heard from him as he took your hand and moved it over his crotch, his hard length pulsed and twitched against your palm. He shuddered under your touch and moved his hips against your hand trying to get as much stimulation as he could. 

When you freed your hand from his grip you could see distress start to form across his face until you moved on top of him. You took off your shirt first then moved his hands back onto your body to feel the softness of your stomach and chest while you slid your pants off. When you were finally undressed you positioned your entrance just above the head of his cock before moving your hips down to take in all of him. Belphegor’s hands were now on your thighs pushing you down as hard as he could while he thrust his hips up in sync with yours. 

Even after he finally came he had no intention of stopping, his heat not allowing for a moment of rest. For the next few days you spent your time riding him until you had no energy left, leaving him to hump your legs while you rested for a few hours. When breeding season ended Belphegor could finally sleep peacefully with you by his side albeit you were sweaty and covered in cum but at the moment both of you were too exhausted to care.