#i know it's not all of them but if law allows men to be sexist to women 'bc they need to'

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

Men don't plan and live their lives around sexually abusing others, except, apparently, Ashley Paul Griffith - he raped, and uploaded images and videos of the rape, of children under 5 for years in Australia and Italy using his position as a childcare worker.

[stillarandom-radfem]

I am so sick of all of this "be kind" shit from the genderist crowd. Not only is it definitely playing hard into the hands of female socialization to always appear nurturing and sweet and never make men mad under any circumstances, but also... I mean, let's be honest, here. These people are not kind. There is nothing kind about allowing gay, autistic, and/or sexually traumatized children to be medically experimented on for profit after only one, one hour-long psych session, or letting them be sexually groomed by various adult men with neither the knowledge nor the approval of their parents. There is nothing kind about enforcing sexist stereotypes, and scaring people into unnecessary medical procedures because you've lied and told them that they will kill themselves if they don't get them in order to conform. There is nothing kind about using self-ID laws to rob women of safety from predatory men because you think that men's feelings are more important than making sure women aren't traumatized by them in their own private spaces that are supposed to be women-only. There is nothing kind about robbing women of scholarships, awards, and medals meant for women because, again, you believe that men's feelings matter more than anything, including women's ability to have proper livelihoods and role models of the same sex. And there is nothing kind about telling LGB people that they are evil bigots if they don't want to date/fuck trans people of the opposite sex. You don't know that they haven't already spent a good chunk of their lives being ridiculed for their same-sex attraction, and now you want to call them evil because of an innate attraction that they can't control?!

Nothing about any of this is kind, because at the core of real, genuine kindness is genuine empathy and concern for other people and a desire to ensure that they don't come into harm's way. Supporting things that hurt other people or sitting back and watching them self-harm isn't kindness. Even if you're doing it for social approval. Even if they put on a big show about how they supposedly like it, but their faces betray a sadness that they refuse to convey in words and you can't help but get the feeling while talking to them that something is eating them up inside. Continuing to promote it in order to look good or get them to like you isn't kindness, it's acquiescence, and that's not remotely the same thing. Because genuinely kind people are concerned with actions that show genuine concern for other people. They want to do right by them because they care about them. It's all about actually being kind, not just presenting the veneer of it for woke points. The trans crowd are such hard-core individualists that they wouldn't know anything about that.

[dusty-daydreams]

What bothers me is some people appear to think of Eloise as a "Not Like Other Girls" type of "feminist", which is not how I read her at all. I don't see her as thinking any less of other ladies, she just has nothing in common with them. Which is probably very lonely! And yes, unlike other women out in society, she does have the privilege of a family that will support her in spite of her radical politics, and she has been growing (and needs to do more growing) in her understanding of that privilege. (She can daydream about being a spinster because she can afford to be one.) But I've really liked her arc this season, with her trying to make new female friends even as she struggles to find commonalities.

I totally agree Anon!

Eloise is absolutely not a ‘Not like Other Girls’ woman. Just because she thinks differently than other people around does not make her a ‘Not like Other Girls’ because she (for the most part) doesn’t disparage other women when Francesca says she wants to take a “get it over with” approach to the marriage mart she is supportive. When she finds out that Penelope enjoys society and high society events, she indirectly apologises for acting in away that meant that Penelope couldn’t talk to her about it.

Plus for the most part her frustration is directed at men who view women as inferior, and at sexist systems.

I had hoped that this season would have had her continue to build on her progress last season when she began to realise she is not the first person to have these ideas, and in fact there is a brewing grass roots movement going on. That storyline could have continued without her visiting the radicals, by showing her reading things or talking to Benedict about the rights of the working classes or trying to discuss aspects of her feminism with Cressida. Like seriously I think queen bitch Cressida would be all for certain feminist ideals at the time like changing laws surrounding property ownership, and inheritance.

However I wish the show would have her family be more emotionally supportive towards her, like she has a comparatively very good home life, but it feels like most of her siblings treat her and her politics as a bit of a joke.

Which leads me to my other point, I don’t think the show actually knows what to do with Eloise and her feminism and they too often treat it like a joke. The show has become so unrooted from historical realities that the misogyny in the setting is extremely vague and changes to suit the plot, which makes having a character that is coherently fighting against that misogyny impossible.

Like Eloise went from arguing that women should be allowed to be admitted to university in season 1 when things were (a little bit) more historically grounded, to very vaguely saying that Women would have so much more time on their hands if they didn’t have to think about marriage all the time.

The devolution in the show is clear, in season 1, the alternate history was the removing of (certain types of) racism from admits English nobility and gentry, but the misogyny of 1813 was alive and well, women needed to marry because that was where her value and security was, women didn’t have alternatives to marriage for economic security. Now in 1815 and with the fantasy of the show taking over - women need to marry because what - that’s what she is supposed to do, and that social pressure is bad - but it’s not a true systemic problem?

Basically the show has lost any historical grounding it could have claimed to had, and as such Eloise’s feminism is just as vague as the misogyny she is fighting against. Which means that the show inevitably plays Eloise being a character in a Romance show that disdains romance a joke and not an interesting facet of her character the way it was shaping up to be in season 2

That said I did enjoy an Eloise cut off from a Penelope that pretended to care and agree with her politics, trying to make new friends, and trying to honestly engage in their interests.

[breakandbuildfiction]

Fictional Matriarchal Societies

Okay this is a bit of a weird one but am I the only one who has noticed that pretty much every Matriarchal society in fiction is objectively worse than first world Patriarchal or Neutral Gender Dominance societies both in fiction and in reality? Particularly when you compare them to other societies in their same universe, timeframe, and technological advancement?

To keep things simple I'm going to reference three of these societies to make my point. Angel 1 from Star Trek TNG, the Amazon Amazons from Percy Jackson, and the Amazons of Themyscira from DC Comics.

To get the obvious out of the way first, all three of these societies are far more sexist than modern Western and first-world societies in our real life.

In Angel 1 the men are incapable of being allowed to hold any office, join the military, or be actual citizens. They are not dissuaded or have to work harder for these jobs like how many women have to in the real world, they just straight up can't. This sexism is so severe that when a group of men-- many of whom admittingly aren't actually from Angel 1-- stand against this, they and all their supporters are set for execution and it requires outside powers threatening them to get the Matriarchal leaders to agree that banishment to a desolate part of their planet is a good downgrade for their punishment. This was a society that advanced enough to have Warp Travel and yet they hadn't even STARTED on equal gender rights yet. Also, their level of technological advancement is far lower than average for a space-faring species in Star Trek TNG. Meaning not only do they fail to advance socially at even close to the same rate as the originally Patriarchal societies of the Star Trek universe, even needing outside influence to get the ball rolling, they also MIGHT be advancing slower technologically as well.

Next up are the Amazon Amazons from Percy Jackson. They literally put collars on men and made them slaves. This happens in modern America and they say they do this to 'show men their place'. They side by side with a society that most deem Patriarchal but still gives women equal rights under the law, but still believe that their way is better and are pro-gender-based slavery. And remember that this group never does SHIT of any actual importance in the entire series. The best they do is act a pitstop and as a lore drop for one of the leaders of New Rome. They are objectively the weakest group that fall under the Greek Pantheon in Percy Jackson despite being one of if not the largest with no unique mystical or technological advantages to speak of. The Cyclopses of Atlantis, all of whom are male and basically have severe autism, are a more impactful accomplished group from what I can tell, and I don't think we've even heard of most of them since they helped attack Typhoon back in The Last Olympian.

Finally the most famous and in my opinion worst offenders on this list, the Themysciren Amazons from DC Comics. Even if you don't take into consideration things I know aren't canon anymore like how they repopulated via mass rape and murder before chucking male children into the ocean, there are still a LOT of things that showcase that they are terrible. Though admittingly some of these aren't fully their own fault.

To keep things brief I'll just highlight how they condemn men and 'Man's World' for the existence of wars, saying it is the fault of the nature of men and that it is the duty of Amazons to show them a better path. This viewpoint they are written to have ignores the fact that there have been women who declared and perpetuated wars before and the fact that the Amazons really have no place to talk about the subject because due to them living on Themyscira they never actually have to deal with the problems that cause wars to occur. Think about it, due to them living on an island protected by, hidden by, and blessed by the gods themselves the Amazons never have to deal with things like cultural friction, border disputes, resource scarcity, religious differences, or trade routes and deals. Hell, due to Hippolyta being immortal-- or depending on the continuity all of the Amazons being immortal-- even periods of succession and political upheaval are nonexistent to them! They condemn men for using violence to deal with these issues despite never having to deal with them themselves. And when they DO have the SLIGHTEST taste of ANY of these problems, their reaction is to kill people. Seriously, a man so much as washing up on their shores is grounds for execution, and in the semi-rare storyline of Diana bringing male heroes to the island to help save it, she is punished for allowing men to set foot on their island. They are objectively hypocrites who are just as if not more violent than men. And this sucks for them since outside of like, six of them they are all basically canon fodder who mostly exist to get their asses kicked and give Wonder Woman a reason to get pissed off. Remember, most of them aren't demigods and can't block bullets with their bracelets. They are just tall and fit women with spears and shields and low-level metahuman physical buffs.

((Note: A very big exception to that 'Amazons are fodder' statement is the Flashpoint continuity where the Amazons are keeping pace with all of Atlantis as the two destroy the whole world. Though I will be docking points from this example because it is a war that started because Wonder Woman fucked a married man and killed his pissed-off wife before presenting him with her severed head. Meaning she started it... Also, I'm pretty sure the Atlantians having a higher population, greater ability to reproduce, and their attempts to flood the Earth while Atlantis itself couldn't be directly attacked by the Amazons all comes together as a guaranteed long-term win for the Atlantians.))

Speaking of spears and shields, their level of technological advancement, though it does differ between writers and continuities, is almost always shown to be stuck roughly in the Roman era. And yes, I know that civilizations that are isolated or have an abundance of resources don't tend to technologically advance as quickly as others, but these women are TWO THOUSAND YEARS behind the curve! As in, they haven't advanced since the last members of the island were sent their from Men's World, meaning their advancements all came from MEN! And it's not like their mystical abilities make up for that! Can you name a prominent magic user from Themyscira? Because I sure as hell can't. The best I think there is is Circi and she ISN'T AN AMAZON! The best magic users in DC that aren't demons or gods or what have yous are probably Kent Nelson, Giovani Zatara (when he isn't dead), Zatanna Zatara, and John Constantine. That's 3/4 men.

In short the Themysciren Amazons are written to be self-righteous sexist jerks who believe that because they never had to deal with any real-world political or societal issues they are better than men outright.

I don't know if this is because these societies are rarely if ever the focus of a longer story or if it's a long-term oversight from the writers, but all these examples paint the picture that women being the majority rulers of societies makes things worse in the long term. No social advancement, cases of extreme social regression, slower or nonexistent technological advancement, weaker military forces, inability to have a significant impact on their respective greater settings, need I go on?

But enough of this. It's very late and I wrote this all out in a single go. If anyone wants to dispute this, please give me some examples of Matriarchal societies in fiction that aren't socially and/or technologically inept compared to their Patriarcal/Non-Single-Gender Dominated counterparts. I would honestly love to hear them.

[radfeminist-suggestions]

Hi

I just wanted to tell you (vent to you?) about my experience as a Hindu woman who has actually read scripture instead of just following practices of my family

Sorry if this get's too long or doesn't make sense.

The general rule of Hindu scripture is that what is written in the four Vedas is the rule to be followed. These are our primary texts. Next comes the epics. The Mahabharat and Ramayan since the gods are directly present in these as very very important side characters or protagonists.

Any scripture which goes against this is to be immediately discarded.

And yet most of the rest of our scripture defies our primary scriptures.

For example the Vedas state not to hit your wife. It is strictly forbidden but in the Manusmriti it's allowed.

The Vedas don't mention dress codes for women or men (which means that how we dress shouldn't matter because if it did matter the Vedas or the epics would mention it). But some later texts say that women should cover the hair and head in front of elders and men who are not close blood family or her husband.

The Vedas state that a married couple shouldn't separate in any circumstances and that neither are allowed to cheat. But many later scriptures and customs allow men to cheat and forsake "impure" wives (a wife who has had a lover before marriage or has been raped).

In the epics we have examples of men marrying women who are not virgins or not leaving wives when they were raped (the god Krishna married the 16108 sex slaves of the demon Naraksura because they couldn't marry anyone else or return to their fathers, brothers, mothers etc and a celestial dancer "Rambha" was raped by her uncle in law following which her husband didn't even look at her badly and pronounced a holy curse on her rapist/his uncle).

Manusmriti says that women who aren't virgins (even ones who were raped) can't get married. Widows can't get remarried and should lead life in a very sad way (bland food, dull coloured clothing, wise men and married women should stay away from her except for her sons, no attending festivals and social functions, no jewellery, think of dead husband day and night and in dreams etc).

I mentioned Manusmriti a lot cause it's the primary text which is quoted to insult women. No one who's saying it's verses knows they are reciting it. Cause they can't be bothered to check up on the source of their belief. Many people hold beliefs from this book which almost all historical and religious scholars denounce after reading because no one knows who wrote it or when and it contradicts itself over and over again. It's the stupidest scripture to ever exist but it get's quoted so much because upper caste men need to dominate over women as well the lower castes.

It's so frustrating. From what we know of history, women were granted the same respect and rights as men when the religon was first discovered/invented but then it gradually fell.

I hate how this religion has all women convinced that they will go to heaven just by being good wives. They won't. Women are also instructed to pray and fast and gain divine knowledge and perform sacrifices and be good and charitable to the best of their ability. Just being a good wife does nothing for you after your time in this world. Imagine suffering so much for nothing.

Even the goddess traditions of hinduism are sexist.

Idk I think this is why women were kept illiterate for so long....

Of course there are later scriptures which are good to women but no one even knows their names. Brihad samhita and Yajnavalka smriti are some examples.

To be nice to women requires men to not only change but also let go of purity culture. Which is impossible for them. A man won't be with a women who has slept with someone before him but a woman should fuck her husband happily even if he comes to her after fucking a prostitute.

It's sad really that women are mistreated in society cause of this. It's not even real.

Thank you for reading if you did and I want to send this to another radfem blog too so just know that I am the same person behind he asks.

Have a good day/night <3

this was a very interesting read, thank you for sharing your thoughts!

[horizon-verizon]

I don’t understand the fuss. Not long ago, people were complaining that it didn’t make sense for Rhaenyra to carry a sword, completely ignoring its symbolic meaning. Yet, just a week later, Audrey Benjaminsen’s artwork for the new Fire and Blood edition by The Folio Society shows Rhaenyra holding a sword. Seriously, it feels like people are just hating for the sake of it.

Anon is responding to this post, where I reblog many things that are in response to S2 Rhaenyra holding out a sword before S2 aired. My personal thoughts, I had way more issue with Rhaenyra a sword around like she either had intention to use it or she knew how to fight with it more than her holding a sword at all. And bc it's these writers and I trust none of them, I thought they they might try to make Rhaenyra into a swordswoman like Visenya when she was nothing like that. And thus, in the writers' eyes and after the producers have:

seemingly decided to both have Emma say the "power" the blacks/she should have will not be in jewels and clothes and appearance when canon Rhaenyra very much both just loved these things/"beautifying" herself and used these things to signify her status (femme-coded things) to make their Rhaenyra more "serious" as if canon!Rhaenyra was not a fierce woman and "girliness" means "not strong" bc the idea is you lean into "femmness" and "femininity" is socially coded as inherently "weak"

remade older!Rhaenyra into a much more people-pleasing person than she originally was, her in hotD seemed like it'd stay on track of her being too eager for approval from men instead of feeling entitled to support and loyalty as she was

(Yes, Emma waving the sword around could also be interpreted as just Rhaenyra trying to practice feeling powerful or pondering her own limitations, the issue is that bc it's these writers who remain...weird about how to write their female characters, well you know?)

All in a bid to make her more "likeable" or to get already sexist-based audiences to think she is a better leader simply because she (show!her) refuses to recognize a danger when it apears and properly prepare for it. Is it commendable and necessary to try to neotiate your way out of possible violence, yeah...that's not what show!Rhaenyra did, though. And it makes as if the book was not showcasing an imperefect victim-turned to victmizer was still only usurped bc se was a woman.

It's very important in how Rhaenyra was not as compassionate as Daenerys or even Alysanne, but it is important to not react to the gender violence and injustice of the entire war being predicated on upholding male entitlement (regardless of a woman's true character) and the slander done against her. Her being NOT a swordswoman, leaning more into the femme-coded aspects of womanhood as understood in Westeros, and thus NOT being closer to the Westerosi/Western ideal of a "nongirly" woman lends to the idea of a "girly" irl being "strong", even with GRRM not allowing her to participate a bit more in the non-fighting aspects of war when he's writing so much about war and its effects--one cannot and should not expect a person, man or woman, to repress their grief and also do a fabulous "job" in order to prove trhey are definitively a good leader...Rhaenyra lost sons successively, the same ones she worked for years to protect from the court and the greens after having had little choice to marry a man who no one would ever believe fathered her heirs.

Which is why I do not care for the "show is different from the canon" argument, bc the show has been doing a horrendous disservice to a huge element and point of the Dance from the very beginning of S1. A show's characters and stoeyline can deciate, but HOW do they do so, that's rthe question that matters!

So, it appears that people are misunderstanding each other or misunderstanding the PRES2 priemere comments of Rhaenyra with a sword. The fuss is what exactly Rhaenyra's seen with a sword means as her being a woman trying to defend her lawfully-given rights towards leadership. And people are ignorant of how women in history has and continue today to impress others and esp men that they should and can be a leader or occuoy a previously male-dominated position OR create and enforce performances of leadership to affirm their power traditionally outlawed, excluded, or proibited to them. And some people are just hating to hate, but some are trying to bring a level of nuance.

[hello-nichya-here]

Been a long time since I sent an ask but I'm hoping for your forgiveness xD

Anyway, I've been in a Stannis staning mood recently and remembered a theory.

Apparently the reason Stan is popular is because he serves as the replacement Ned Stark due to his strict adherence to honor, law and morality. Any thoughts?

I do see similarities but I've always felt them to be different people. They had respect for each other yes, but were never really friends.

Plus their flaws and shortcomings are different. Ned could have prevented the war by not telling Cersei but he was too merciful of a person for that. Stannis greatest mistakes and vile deeds came almost always when he compromised on his code.

I guess what Game of Thrones teaches is that both good and evil deeds, both selfish and selfless actions can have negative consequences. People don't act in isolation, the results always depend on how other people react.

While they both are characters that fully believe that "What's right is right", the are some key differences between them.

The first and most important one can summed up in an exchange that happened between Davos and Stannis:

"What is the life of one bastard boy against an entire kingdom?"

"Everything."

Ned covered up the truth about Jon being Lyanna's son with Rhaegar, spoke out against the plan to kill Daenerys (who was 14 and pregnant at the time), and refused to just let Cersei's children be executed despite knowing that they were bastards born of incest. All of that was because his honor and his idea of what's right says that protecting the weak and innocent is his obligation - especially if said weak and innocent are children.

Stannis meanwhile was fully ready to kill Dany and Viserys as children, nearly burned Edric Storm alive, and will 100% kill any of Cersei's bastards if he ever comes across them. That is because Stannis's morals are all about the good of the real and the rules of society.

This isn't always bad - he is sexist and racist, but won't allow his men to rape women of the free-folk because to become a rapist is to become a dishonarable man, and he won't tolerate that kind of shit.

But it also means that he is fully okay with Melisandre burning people alive because her God told her to and (more importantly) plenty of said people were enemies of his that were breaking the law by supporting other kings. Why would he have a problem with that? What's the difference between burning people in the name of Rhollor and stabbing a bunch of them to death in the name of the Seven/the king? War is war, and sacrifices have to be made.

Ned meanwhile will NOT accept that kind of thing. He has killed people before, and he WAS willing to let Cersei and her children be executed if she didn't run away with - but he still gave her the warning. He gave them a chance to survive. To end this conflict without anyone's death being necessary. Stannis meanwhile fucked off to prepare for war.

Another key difference between them is that Ned is much more forgiving in general, and especially with the people he cares about. He killed the guy who deserted the Night's Watch, but only because he did not believe his story about the White Walkers attacking them - if he had, the guy would have lived and not suffered any punishment. Ned was also not okay with cheating, excessive drinking, or people neglecting their responsibilities - but he was best friends with Robert, the guy who full on said "Hey, be my Hand, so you can do all the work for me while I eat, fuck and drink."

Can anyone even imagine Stannis Baratheon EVER letting someone get away with saying that kind of crap to him? For fuck's sake, Davos is his best friend AND smuggled food to Stannis in a siege in which he nearly died... and Stannis still cut off Davos's fingers as punishment for the crime of being a smuggler.

We also have the fact that, while Ned didn't really understand the Game Of Thrones. Like, at all. He legit thought Cersei wouldn't stab him in the back after he said "I know about the treason, incest, and I'm also gonna accuse you of murder." Stannis never made that kind of mistake. He despises the empty flattery and courtesies their society relies on, yes, but he always makes sure he has some card up his sleeve that allows him to get away with not enganging on that part of the game.

This also connects to another thing: Stannis changed, Ned did not. Ned Stark died because he could not addapt to the place he was at, not even long enough to just get enough time to go back to Winterfell and leave Robert holding his dick. Stannis meanwhile addmited that Davos and Jon Snow were right - just going "Fuck you, I'm the king, bow to me!" was not working, would likely never work, and if he wanted people to support him, he'd need to change tactics and help them with their problems instead of focusing just on his. He went from the king that even rejected, and who despised his subject, to "the king who cared." Quite the drastic change.

Finally, we also have ANOTHER way in which Stannis changed, and that ties into something he does NOT have in common with Ned: the way they handle being the second son.

Stannis went from sleeping with Melisandre just because it was necessary (both in the sense of "the red God wants it" and "It will kill your rival in a second"), to not so subtly bragging about the fact that she is his mistress and that she scares the fuck out of everyone but is his loyal servent.

This "sudden" change happened because, while Stannis never really asked to be king, he was always the unloved child. The one who was too difficult to deal with. The one who just needed to lighten up a little. The one who didn't have Robert and Renly's charisma. The king NOBODY wanted.

And then here comes Melisandre, telling the is the literal chosen one. The most important man in the whole world. The one who will save everyone and be seen as a legend forever and ever. And he buys into that pleasant lie because it validates all the anger, resentment and loneliness he felt all these years, and tells him "It was not your fault, you were right all along. Everyone else was the problem, not you"

Ned meanwhile, despite loving Catelyn and the life they had together, would often get all melancolic over the fact that he was not supposed to be the heir, the ruler of Winterfell. And when Robert comes in offering to give him MORE power, MORE responsibility, MORE of a great status, he fucking hates it. Unlike Stannis, Ned doesn't resent the time he spent in his brother's shadow as the "least important one." He seems to miss it and the safety it brought to him.

Which is why he often refused to play the game, unlike Stannis. Playing is the only way to have even a CHANCE of winning. And when you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.

[dolphin1812]

The beginning of this chapter is honestly really funny because somehow, the sentence “He had theories” inspires the same specific form of dread that Hugo seems to be calling on with that line: knowing that you’re about to hear horrible takes from someone in a position of authority in a household. In this case, his terrible ideas are about women. Reading this about 200 years after the events of the story, it’s kind of interesting to see what a bourgeois woman could and couldn’t do from the list given:

“Then his wife busies herself, grows passionately fond of handling coin, gets her fingers covered with verdigris in the process, undertakes the education of half-share tenants and the training of farmers, convokes lawyers, presides over notaries, harangues scriveners, visits limbs of the law, follows lawsuits, draws up leases, dictates contracts, feels herself the sovereign, sells, buys, regulates, promises and compromises, binds fast and annuls, yields, concedes and retrocedes, arranges, disarranges, hoards, lavishes; she commits follies, a supreme and personal delight, and that consoles her. While her husband disdains her, she has the satisfaction of ruining her husband.”

It’s quite a long list! With money, Gillenormand’s wife was able to be pretty active in her community. It was definitely a precarious position, though; the money was never hers, as she only “[felt] herself the sovereign.” All of that wealth was really M Gillenormand’s, and she only had access to it as long as he felt like allowing that. A bourgeois woman could, then, be economically active, but only as long as her husband permitted it.

I also like that we see the logic in Gillenormand’s lifestyle, even if it’s a despicable one. The sexist underpinning - with wives just needing to be “legitimate” and ruining husbands financially out of “jealousy” rather than real frustration at being stuck with a man who doesn’t care about her - is a big part of it, as that’s how he ends up with so little money (comparatively). There’s a more sympathetic political aspect as well. Gillenormand has lived through so much political change in his lifetime: first the French Revolution, then Napoleon, then the Bourbons, and now the July Monarchy. He specifically fears his property being taken away by a sudden political change because he’s seen that happen, and it makes sense that that kind of instability would lead him to prioritize his day-to-day lifestyle over saving for the future. At the same time, it’s a selfish decision. We know that he has an unmarried daughter that won’t be left with much because of his financial choices, and we’ve seen how hard it is for women to get by without husbands or other men supporting them (Fantine being the most extreme example). Given that his introduction began right after we were promised an introduction to Marius at the end of Gavroche’s chapter, we can assume they’re connected somehow, too, so his decisions may harm Marius as well. 

Then again, Gillenormand’s selfishness there isn’t surprising at this point. He’s already been rude and condescending to his daughter, and the way he “re-baptizes” his servants again emphasizes how disrespectful he can be to those around him.

[morgenlich]

it is always interesting to me when people on the internet claim that artemisia gentileschi is underrated when she has, in my experience at least, been pretty much accepted into the canon and has been for some time now. maybe she isn't known about as much by like, normies who don't know much about art or art history but honestly how many of those kinds of people could even name more than like three artists off the top of their head regardless of gender anyway?

i've also more than once seen people claim here on tumblr that gentileschi was erased by the men who wrote about art history, which is simply a lie. i will say that pre-1970s writing about her is pretty blatantly sexist (her work is almost always said to be lesser than her father's) and she was certainly not given the respect that she deserved, but it's not like she was deliberately erased from history. art historians have always known about her, if attribution of her works has been inaccurate.

it's not that her story is unimportant, of course, it very much is and i am glad that she is well known. but something that bothers me a little bit about her fame is that, like, there were other female artists in renaissance and baroque europe. a few of whom, like gentileschi, worked in various royal courts. can you name any of them? or had you thought that gentileschi was the sole exception?

additionally, on the topic of oppression in europe at the time, i never see the internet discuss how it was, in most places, forbidden for jews to learn painting (or really any trade at all). let's talk about that, too. let's talk about how jews weren't allowed to build our own synagogues or mikvehs or homes. let's talk about how there is jewish art from this time in spite of this. let's talk about how many renaissance works are blatantly antisemitic in nature; giotto's famous fresco cycle for example being blatant supersecessionism; the continued presence of synagoga as allegory; altarpieces depicting antisemitic folktales; judas wearing yellow, a color that many jews at the time were obligated to wear by law in order to distinguish themselves from their gentile neighbors. let's talk about this.

[katyspersonal]

Some personal? post (yeah I know I am bi)

Also guys, I am well aware that as a bi woman, I at times might interact with users who have questionable things to say about either women or bi people (or LGBT+ people in general). Or maybe both. There is no need to short-circuit to try and understand my reasoning because it's actually very simple.

First, I do not associate myself with any "community". I do not believe in 'betraying' or 'screwing up' other queer people by effect just because I do not mock or at least avoid those with certain opinions. It is not like LGBT+ is a covenant with certain dogmas and laws that everyone is obligated to follow! In fact, it is queer people believing that this IS the case what causes them to constantly go at each others throats and accuse each other for "harming the cOmMuNiTy uwu". Some infights I've seen were genuinely disgusting and pathetic, as if people see being LGBT+ as a religious/ideological commitment and not as simply 'human beings who are not het or cis or even none of either of these'.

Nor I see myself as a soldier in the army that "fights the same fight" against men. Every other bad thing men say about women I've seen women say about men too, every other bad thing men do to women I've seen women do to men too. Perpetuating the illusion that for men being bad is a rule but for women it is an exception is a terrible practice, and it is for this reason I can 'forgive' most of sexist remarks. Because I consistently let women be like 'men, amiright :/' (unless I am having a petty fandom debate, I do not touch more personal and humane matters) - so men should be allowed to be like 'women, amiright :/' too.

Second, the 'but are not your shooting your own leg?' doesn't work with me because I do not get harmed by people expressing opinions and observations in the internet. The worst that can happen is that I end up yelling at this person and insulting them, if something they say about women or queers just drains me out of patience; and even then, it is mostly my male friends who faced my wrath on the matter at least once, because having heated conflict with a well-familiar person is just more... appropriate?

In any case I do not see the personal gain in avoiding everyone who can say cringe things about my gender or sexuality. It is not something I impose on others because in the internet everyone can curate their own experiences; naturally if I talk with some guys and reblog things from them that I do agree with it doesn't mean all five of my readers should do the same ok? But my great internet space would be being hit with fresh and various opinions every other time.

[carma-bis]

This is blatantly disregarding all the MTF's claiming they face misogyny (which is where this argument stems from) when, in the grand scheme of things, being prejudice against the male sex is misandry, not misogyny. Everyone here admits FTM's still face misogyny because they're female (Which y'all also hate us saying but ur allowed to say it here, rather than implying it's misandry? When the reverse for MTF's would be called misogyny in y'alls circles? Then u make the punchline like we can't admit misandry exists ((which arguably lmao...nvm :x)) when literally you couldn't even apply it properly according to ur own argument. You act like they're interchangeable when it's two distinct words for two different kinds of prejudice.)

prejudice against the female sex = misogyny

prejudice against the male sex = misandry

And, say it with me, a FTM/MTF getting "mistaken" for their "original" sex is not prejudice! It is not similar to racial profiling or sexual predation! By implying that sex should FIRST AND FOREMOST be determined by outward appearances and not an inherent fact about a body, you are reinforcing superficial gender roles which I also thought was the exact opposite of what y'all are going for? I made a post about this, but the safest thing I experienced in online circles was people automatically assuming I was a male. We cannot deem oppression by the sheer concept that if i just switched one way I said something/thought about something (i want to be seen as a dude for safety vs i AM a dude because I hate being a woman), now I'm oppressed. This would be unreasonable for me to expect, and it's genuine narcissism that we've let it go this far lol. It's rooted little in reality and everything in demanding to control a narrative. So, this is not prejudice. Gatekeeping and harassing females out of gaming communities and blatantly making hypersexualized content of women to try and make them uncomfortable BECAUSE they're female and you're male and you don't want females around your male hobby because you think they're less than you IS prejudice. Females keeping males out of female only places, due to the dynamic between oppressor and oppressed, is not prejudice! Unless you want to admit women en mass have NOT been oppressed by males and the patriarchy.

Hope this helps <3

P.S. you DO sound like an MRA trying to desperately find any reason to admit misandry exists except your only gotcha is a female being oppressed lmaooo like it writes itself. Give me one instance of a male being on the receiving end of literal prejudice from a female, not a MTF or male, and we can continue this discussion! Because most of what we have r: women not having sex with men, women not talking to men in public, it not being appropriate to hit on women all the time, a woman saying no to a man, no-fault divorce, welfare laws, hypergamy (don't even look it up it's not worth it), getting the kids in the divorce, gold-digging, women being naturally sneaking and conniving to get resources and attention from males because they're born to do that, and hey guess what all those sound like! MRA talking points (:

You might be taken more seriously admitting misandry exists, the dudes will come in troves to circle jerk about how right u r that somehow someway males r oppressed for being male somewhere out there, distinctly because it allows males to claim misogyny for themselves and rewrite what actual misogyny is/claim women have internalized misogyny for not accepting MTF's. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with solidifying their sexist mindsets. They will allow u a portion of their stage that doesn't matter (because men know theyre not "oppressed" for being "male", they're "oppressed" for not being guaranteed the birthright of their fathers which was a woman to fuck and impregnate, a legacy to continue; arguably gay men getting surrogates are included here. aka, the gender role they were sold) because it allows them a larger platform to affirm and solidify a narrative that's ACTUALLY impacting and harming billions of women all over the world all the time; aka as long as it serves their self-interests. But whatever helps u sleep at night!

Some of y'all stg

[editorbit]

I’m literally so sick and tired of misogyny riddling every little corner of the world, big and small. It’s inescapable, and so often it’s disregarded as "political opinions" and "just the way it is", or not even acknowledged at all. Not to mention the repercussions of it being non-existent or minor enough to not make much of a difference.

I tweeted something the other day but I did delete it because I have to admit I took my anger too far in the wrong direction and said something I didn’t really mean. It was more so something I said just out of anger and frustration against something I feel like I can’t fix, but want to. Like I can’t just snap misogynists out of existence and end the problem completely just like that, but I wish I could you know. There is a scary amount of people, usually men, wanting to halt the progress we’ve made these last 100 years, and it’s infuriating beyond belief. The mindset these people have, which they on top of that are promoting to young and vulnerable audiences, is insane. People that think that way should not exist. Those are not silly little opinions people should be allowed to have and share with others, especially not on national fucking television; those are horrible and damaging views to have about other humans.

Women all over the world are suffering the effects of misogyny, no matter how far along each country claims to have gotten in terms of equality. You have the extremes like the Taliban having "banned women’s faces and voices in public", basically hiding them away from the world and not even letting them exist outside. You have thousands of women being murdered by their partners, raped by their coworkers, assaulted by strangers every single day for who knows how many centuries now. Then you have the less extreme but very common examples such as misogynistic comments and content riddling every platform available, anything stereotypically feminine being sexualised or ridiculed, sexist remarks in daily life, and so much more I can’t even mention them all.

Sure, not all men have done or will do these things, but a concerning amount have and a concerning amount do nothing to prevent it from happening in the future. Because in the end they don’t reap the major consequences, they don’t have to cast an extra glance over their shoulder at night, and they don’t have to worry about the government denying them the care and the services they need because "sorry, your safety is against the law now."

When I say I hate men I don’t mean it literally. I don’t mean I hate every single man in existence, and never would I ever even get remotely close to treating men the way they at their worst treat women. Rather I hate the systems and procedures that make them turn out this way, as well as the end result and how widespread that is. I hate men who hurt women, I hate men who want to hurt women, and I hate men who don’t care. Women don’t have the luxury to tune it all out and go about their life, because this IS their life. Oh my God I’m so fucking tired of men and their bullshit.

[000life-is-meaningless000]

🤨 - Warning : Long Post ! - 🤨

I Don't Understand, Humanity ?

I Kno, I'm an Alien Hybrid, But, Your Idea's & Psychology is Insane, Confusing & Bullshit.

don't ever do anything good or bad to a specific part of the human race, for that called racist.

you're not allowed to like or dislike specifically any race within the race of humanity that's called racism.

with that logic you're not allowed to like or dislike any gender of the of a specific race because that's called sexism.

you're also not allowed to like or dislike any animal specifically because It act like a animalistic way, because that's called speciesism.

🤨 - ?

another thing humans do that make absolutely no fucking sense to me it's a fact you create law's, laws are a completely and absolutely human invention 100% human I have never seen or experiences God damn thing or anything like it anywhere else on my spirit has been in the universe.

Although racism may not be inherently a human thing, the fact that humans put it to word and find a way to develop it into a language and they focus on it as a real problem, baffles me ?

human beings don't make any fucking sense, and thay make sure they do that as intensely as possible ?

the whole studying something is useless for he can't understand it not all knowledge can be gained by one creature in the universe for his limit to its own energy.

you do not really think with your mind you think with your soul and your soul is made up of the energy that you are your Essence, your entity.

the essence of whatever creature that you are or what creature you come from like a fire Elemental comes from the fire energy.

using that as an idea so you can get the gist of it, no one creature can know everything because it's limited to what its energy is capable of.

you humans are so wildly and extremely alien to me I don't think I'll ever find a way to put it to word. eldrick Abomination is an Understatement !

"An eldritch abomination is a terrifying, supernatural creature that defies natural law and represents the unknown. The word "Eldritch" Mean's uncanny, unearthly, and weird. Eldritch abominations are often featured in cosmic horror stories"

your human beings are utterly fucking alien to Me, you also do more alien shit you have these things called morality but that wasn't enough you didn't have to create something else called ethics ?

Both, These Things Are Fucking Stupid but Human's Take Them As The Most Important ?

I don't understand racism I understand quality but you're not allowed to you're not allowed to dislike a bad thing and then support a nice thing if it's of a certain type of people, that is so fucking insufferably Stupid !

with that same logic you should also have to if you want to be as moral as possible then you should also apply that to both women and men and a call also to animals you're not allowed to that cuz otherwise you you fucked up the fairness if you're not allowed to treat any specific race which is only one race that is the human race but you know how human beings divide themselves in a different category because of their history or DNA and their fucking skin color ?

but on top of that thing then you also have gender but then you have fucking lgbtq which says you can be any gender you fucking want you can be transgender but you can't be trans race ? WTF ?

and don't even don't even bring up science around Lgbtq they lose their fucking mind they go to berserk though and they go completely fucking psycho ? no I don't mean temper counting I mean like run you're in other danger level psycho they're unhinged as fucked in a swarm in that way ? ! ! !

you give me transgender but you can't be transracial ?

🤨 - What ?

and then you have the whole animal thing I described to where you're not allowed to do anything good or bad to any rate or be specific tree specific races differently then that's racist then again you should do the same goddamn way to gender that also is sexist then if you do that to fucking animals that species now you have motherfuckers that are Furries and then you have motherfuckers that are other kin ?

and then you have people that think they're fucking literally fucking animals incarnated back on the Earth

aka, Therian !

( yet, someone that likes animals a little too much is called bestiality ? ) - ( 🤮 )

🤨 - DA FUQ, WHAT . . . THE . . . . . FUCK ! ! ! ! !

Do to Be "FAIR" Don't Treat any "Race" Better or Worse, or that is Racist, but for some odd reason the same rules don't apply to gender if you like if you even like a specific race on this Earth more than the others you then you're racist you're not allowed to like black asians or Caucasians more than the others not even allowed to fucking like them or prefer than otherwise it makes you also a racist ?

to be fair and moral we should apply the same rules to fucking gender and animal's !

therefore you're not allowed to like or dislike any gender more otherwise you're fucking sexist you're not allowed to like any animal or just like them forever for whatever goddamn reason otherwise you're a species !

you know what the like or dislike any alien in the universe otherwise you're a xenophobe !

🤨 - Human's Are Fucking Stupid !

[grahambaham]

This post isn’t related to dc or marvel or anything like that, sorry, but this is something I’ve been seeing a lot of and it pisses me off.

Okay so, most recently, I saw a man who was telling a story of how he was in a store buying those moving seat things for his baby (I forgot what it’s called) and when he brought it to the cash register to buy, the cashier asked him if he was sure this was a decision he should be making alone, without his wife.

That is sexism. It is not okay. We all know that and agree on that (most of us do at least). The problem is that I have seen many men use examples of sexism towards men like that to compare them to, for example, doctors refusing to let you abort or do a medical procedure that affects your fertility without your husband’s permission. They claim the examples given for the sexism towards men were equal to the examples given for sexism towards women. I disagree. A LOT.

First of all, there are different levels of sexism. There is the “nice” form of it where men consciously or subconsciously believe women incapable so they go out of their way to be “nice” and never let them do things on their own, where they think women are so amazing and such beautiful creatures or whatever the fuck that they shouldn’t be doing these things on their own, they should stick to their “easier” tasks. There is the ignorant asshole type, where men call women some names and tell them to make them a sandwich or shit like that. And there are the more extreme versions of it, like violence against women. This can all be explained way better but I don’t want it to be a long post so I’m over simplifying it.

If we reversed that and had to decide which category to put the whole cashier thinking the wife should be making decisions for the kids thing in, I would put it maybe in the ignorant asshole one, but barely. Closer to the “nice” sexism than anything. On the other hand, I would put the doctors needing permission from husbands to do medical procedures/abortions thing in the most severe type of sexism category.

Some might say that’s too extreme. Why would I put that in the same category as violence against women? Because I believe it to be just as evil and horrific, instead of an “ignorant asshole” thing. By needing a man’s permission for a decision regarding a woman’s body, you are implying that woman’s body does not belong to her, and therefore she alone cannot make decisions about it. You are implying that the man owns her body more than she herself does. And taking away a persons bodily autonomy is horrific. And it most certainly is not comparable to people thinking a woman should be making decisions about what to buy for her and her husband’s child. That last part is obviously not okay either and is most certainly sexist, but is so not as bad as taking away a woman’s right to make decisions about her own damn body.

The only other case of someone being allowed to make important decisions about another person is in case of parents making decisions for their child. The reason that is a law and okay is because children are young and impressionable, often making decisions before they think about it, decisions they end up regretting for the rest of their lives. I wouldn’t call them too stupid to make their own decisions but I still agree that their parents should be making decisions about the more important things that could affect their lives. The reason that exists is because children are considered not competent, capable or mature enough to do it themselves. Harsh but overall true, I’m only a year out of my teens and can agree that without my parents making those decisions I’d have fucked up my life quite a bit.

So to imply that women also need these decisions made for them is to imply they are also not competent, capable or mature enough to decide for themselves. You consider them the same mentally as children. You realise how fucked up that is, right?

So the point of this post is that those two examples are very much not comparable. Misandry and misogyny are not comparable. Because misogyny is systemic and is, I believe, the oldest oppression. A man hating a woman most often results in the women being beaten, killed or raped. It results in woman losing their rights as humans, being considered below men, not getting as many opportunities in life as men, and it is something that has been happening, is happening and is going to continue to happen for many years to come. A woman hating a man results in his feelings being hurt.

THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

[chels10621]

What A JOKE!

Good morning everybody. Happy Friday. It's Friday the 13th.

Like the rest of the American people who watched the presidential debate, my husband and I watched it.

My take on the whole thing was that it was a complete joke. I just kept hearing Harris spit lie after lie after lie. I didn't like that every social media platform was fact-checking Trump, but not Harris. Why is that? How is that fair? Oh wait, LIFE ISN'T FAIR!

Trump brought up things that the major news platforms aren't talking about. Springfield, Ohio are dealing with cannibalism within their community. Ducks, cats, and dogs are getting eaten. PEOPLE'S DOGS AND CATS are getting EATEN!!! Harris and Biden allowed this to happen. Now all of a sudden, Harris wants to make changes. I'm sorry, but why didn't she do any of that in the three and half years she's been in office as Vice President? Why?

We only watched the first 30 minutes of the debate and had to change to watch something else. It was just too much. Harris continued to lie about everything. I kept laughing at her because she kept saying about what she would do once she was in office. Like she was going to clean up the mess that had been going on. The border crisis, housing market, gun laws. SAME QUESTION. Why didn't she do any of that in the THREE AND HALF YEARS SHE'S BEEN IN THE OFFICE AS VICE PRESIDENT?! Another thing, she wants to talk about is women and children, and their safety. What about men? Does she not care about the men and their safety? I want to call her out as a sexist. In 2020, she wanted to ban fracking and then all of a sudden didn't want to after her one-on-one interview with CNN interview Dana Bash. MAKE UP YOUR MIND WOMAN! Also, she talked about keeping open borders, and now she wanted to close the borders. Finally, she said that she was all for the buy-back program on guns. Now, she is all for guns because she's "a gun owner". Whatever!

Harris continues to bash at Trump, calling him a racist and narcissist. She kept mentioning that the American people don't want to go back to the past. I'm sorry, but the past was way better than where we, the American people are currently. We weren't dealing with two wars, inflation wasn't going through the roof, groceries weren't expensive, and the housing market wasn't capped. I could keep going. This woman is trash. Also, she asked the American people to go to one of Trump's rallies and see people leave once he opened his mouth. How about we do the same? I know there are a few rallies she hosts and people leave early. Trump rallies are far better and there are MORE PEOPLE than hers. I've seen so many videos where the interviewer would ask them why would they vote for Kamala Harris. THEY CAN'T SAY ONE THING ABOUT HER! She doesn't care about you. Just like she doesn't care about the 13 soldiers that were killed in Afghanistan. She didn't care about the fact that when we left Afghanistan, we left all of our weapons there. Allowing the Taliban to get a hold of them. She allowed that to happen as VP.

If you want to vote for her in the office, go ahead. But you need to understand who you are voting for. Do your research. Also, don't let a celebrity, who has NEVER experienced struggles like we are influence you on who you want to vote. If you do, then you're a sheep. Period.

[bethdutten]

Idiots

bucky x agent!reader

summary: Post-TFATWS. Sam and Bucky are assigned an FBI field agent to babysit them. Bucky thinks he might have just met his soulmate.

warnings: language, 18+ mentions but nothing explicit

a/n: ok i don’t know what compelled me to write this but if i was writing season 2... this is how it would go. give bucky a happy ending. let it involve me.

words: 5.6k

“This is bullshit.” Bucky grumbled, stalking off towards the training room of the FBI office in Quantico, following the agent who was showing them around. He really wanted to get out of Virginia.

The agent clearly heard him, giving him a look over his shoulder that shouted, Really? Wanna say that again, psycho killer?

Bucky glared, but his annoyance was quickly shifted to Sam when the other man elbowed him in the side.

“Dude, this is your fault. Maybe if you weren’t such a dick to your superiors, we would be allowed to play without a babysitter. Two dead terrorists away from a permanent timeout, I swear to--”

“My superiors?” Bucky hissed incredulously, rolling his eyes. “I am a war hero. Sergeant, asshole? The fucking government can kiss my ass--”

“Ha, Sergeant Asshole, I like that--”

The agent they were following behind abruptly stopped, causing both men to almost trip to avoid running into his back. They were at a set of double doors, labelled COMBAT TRAINING. He turned to Sam and Bucky with a smirk, gesturing forward. “She’s in there. Have fun.”

“She?” Bucky blurted, knowing he was being completely misogynistic and sexist, but, really... some chick was supposed to keep them in line when the majority of the US government couldn’t? Sam shrugged, pushing open the doors and entering without a comment. Bucky followed with a sigh, and the sight before him pulled the breath from his lungs.

You and Patrick were the only ones in the training room-- he was a talented rookie, albeit a bit cocky, so of course they sent him to you to humble him a bit. Okay, a lot.

So, you were going 100%, all out, ready to hand this kid his ass. He’d only had about 5 months of hand-to-hand combat training with weapons; you’d been an overachiever with this for years. Especially with knives.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you noticed the doors open and two figures walk in, but you paid them no mind, easily dodging Patrick’s left hook and twisting to the right, your foot coming behind his to knock him off balance. 

He caught himself, rolling to the side before you could pounce and quickly getting to his feet. You grinning, and by the look in his eyes, you guessed it was a little manic. Good. He should be scared.

Twenty minutes later, and you flicked your knife up in the air, a series of complicated and smooth spins through your fingers as you looked down at the man laying panting on the floor.

“Let me know when you’re ready to start. That was just the warm-up,” you spoke sweetly, letting out a laugh when Patrick just groaned and shook his head.

You finally turned to the two people who had walked in earlier. “Hey. You must be James and Sam.”

Luckily Bucky managed to pick his goddamn jaw up off the floor before you turned, but it was a struggle to school his face into nonchalance when he was half hard from watching that absolutely beautiful and painfully sexy display with your knife. God. You might even be better than him.

“Bucky,” he managed to rasp out, clearing his throat and taking your hand when you reached out for a hand shake. Sam threw him a look, but gave you one of his charismatic smiles as you introduced yourself and shook his hand.

“That would make me Sam. You’re our babysitter, then?”

“Basically. Seems one of you doesn’t think the law applies to people who once didn’t exist.”

Well, that helped Bucky’s dick calm down a bit. “If I had to follow every single one of your stupid fucking laws, who knows how many people would have been killed in Seattle. And how am I supposed to know every single law--”

“That’s why I'll be accompanying both of you on any assignments,” you interrupted, walking over to your bag you’d left on a bench to the side. “If neither of you are the voice of reason, I’ll have to be.”

Sam let out a hurt huff, crossing his arms. “Hey! I am a very responsible person, okay? Captain America? I take that shit seriously, I can’t control this idiot.”

“No, you can’t, that’s my job now.” You gave Bucky a devilish smile, not missing for a second the way he was eyeing you after that training session. Men. Easy.

Bucky glared but didn’t protest, glancing away and mumbling, “Don’t need a babysitter.”

You laughed. “Prove it, and I’ll be out of your hair. Meet at the director’s office 0800 hours, we’ve got our first assignment together.” You twirled your knife between your fingers expertly before slipping it into its sheath on your backpack, giving Bucky one last smirk. “Have a good night, boys.”

---

“Oh my fucking god, oh my god, oh my god.”

Sam thought it was the best thing in the entire world, watching Bucky crumble in front of his eyes. Because for once, it was an entertaining and good kind of breakdown, one he was sort of glad to see his friend have. A long way from sleeping on the floor and having panic attacks in large crowds.

“Man, I thought you were going to drop to your knees back there. Why am I not surprised you have a knife kink.”

Bucky groaned, head falling into his hands. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. God damn it,” his voice muffled, glancing up to look at Sam. “Why does my soulmate have to be an agent. And a gorgeous one, at that.”

“Enemies-to-lovers, it’s a classic,” Sam grinned, wagging his eyebrows. He took a sip from his beer, sighing. “Congratulations, Buck. You’re in love.”

The response was a thud as Bucky’s forehead hit the table, which just made an uncontrollable laugh bubble up from Sam’s chest. 

---

At exactly 0800, Sam and Bucky were in the FBI Director’s office, suited up and ready to go. Sam had the shield resting at his feet, and Bucky was staring at his watch, ready for it to turn to 0801 so he could give a snarky remark to the Director currently looking judgementally at him that his agents weren’t very punctual, when you appeared in the doorway, a second before the minute changed.

Bucky had to swallow down a sudden lump in his throat.

You were wearing a uniform very similar to what Natasha used to wear on missions-- most likely a Tony Stark-patented fabric, black and skin tight, thigh holsters holding guns and a utility belt with knives and zipped down to--

“What the hell, why doesn’t he have to wear a stupid costume?” you interrupted Bucky’s haze by glaring at him, face angry in clear indignation. 

Sam frowned, glancing down at his chest. “Stupid costume? What’s wrong with my--”

“Both of us are in monkey suits and he gets to walk around looking--” you caught yourself mid-sentence, voice stuttering before you finished, “Normal?” Jesus, were you just about to call the Winter Soldier sexy in front of the Director of the fucking FBI?

Bucky was trying too hard to get his brain back online to notice to slip-up. He heard the Director clear his throat, all three turning to look at him. Bucky realized you must be one of the best agents he has if you weren’t getting berated for complaining about a uniform on an assignment. Although, he wondered what the hell you were doing in Quantico and not in the field taking down bad guys if that was true.

“Shall we begin?”

---

Over the next couple of weeks, you tried to keep Bucky in line (operative word being tried; when he really wanted, it was extremely difficult to stop that man), and you thought you were slowly becoming friends. You were surprised at the butterflies in your stomach whenever you made him laugh, or the way you felt warm all over when he smiled at you. 

Okay, fine. You were falling for the reckless fucking idiot.

Almost three months after you’d first joined Sam and Bucky, you were assigned a Level 9 mission--that sort of clearance meant very few people would know about it. You thrived on those sorts of assignments; flying under the radar, saving lives while the rest of the world went about their day not even knowing how close they might have been to some serious shit.

The mission was basic-- a few ex-Russian sleeper agents defected, then undefected, and threatened to release some pretty vital information. Bucky was extremely pleased it took place in New York, and you only had to stop Bucky from breaking two federal laws. Which was a lot less than you were expecting, but maybe he was just on his best behaviour because you were watching. Good.

Unfortunately, one Russian guy caused more problems. There was an arrival of a Russian Senator to happen in three days, who was looking to gain access to files that would probably start World War III. He would use the information in the files and distribute it through the Russian government until there wouldn’t be one source-- and no one way to stop it. It would have to be stopped before it began.

“Okay, so the files are where?” Sam asked, sitting calmly across from the Russian agent, who identified himself as Vasiliev.

The man leaned back in his seat, almost looking bored. He sighed. “Na zhestkom diske v ofise v Kvinse. Yezhednevno yego okhranyayut okolo dvadtsati chelovek.”

You and Sam looked to Bucky, who was leaning against the wall in the shadows, arms crossed, signature scowl on his face. 

“Hard drive in an office in Queens. Twenty guys on it 24/7.”

“So if we get you in there, you’ll know where it’s stored exactly?”

Vasiliev shrugged, but nodded. He looked over at Bucky, suddenly sneering. “Ты тот самый Зимний Солдат. Мы боготворили вас. Лучший миф, который оказался правдой.”

Bucky quickly pushed off from the wall, hissing, “No, I’m the monster in all your horror stories.”

You stood and inserted yourself between Bucky and the man as fast as you could, a hand on Bucky’s chest to stop him. “Hey, don’t... it’s okay. You’re okay.” This close to him, you realized he was breathing harshly, inhales sharp and shallow. Bucky swayed slightly, breath only coming out more quick and uneven.

You glanced at Sam then pulled Bucky out of the room, slamming the door and carefully lowering you both on to the floor. 

“Buck, you’re hyperventilating. You gotta calm down or you’ll make yourself panic more. Breathe with me, okay, follow me.” You met his eyes, fear in them you hadn’t seen before. Even with a gun to his head. You breathed in and held it for twelve seconds, then breathed out for five. Bucky matched you, eyes never leaving yours until he had calmed down enough to let out a low swear.

“Russian assholes, thought I’d dealt with enough of them in my pathetically long lifetime.”

You frowned, searching his face carefully. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this thing tonight, Bucky? No one would blame you for sitting it out. If you don’t think you can handle this right no--”

“I’m fine,” he suddenly snapped, standing up and avoiding your gaze when you followed him. “Let’s get this done.”

You didn’t know if that was a good idea--of course Bucky had PTSD, maybe being around a bunch of Russian bad guys, hearing the language and having to fight against them again, wasn’t something he was ready for. But, it wasn’t your job to pull agents from assignments-- you just hoped he knew his own limits.

---

The next morning, Sam and Bucky stood in the foyer of the Manhattan penthouse, arguing over the best pizza in the city when you walked over, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

“Okay, ready.”

Sam’s mouth dropped open. “Um, what’s this? Why am I the only one in a stupid costume now?”

You smirked. “So you admit it’s a stupid costume.”

“I--wha--not cool!”

Bucky had to stop himself from drooling a bit, and he was very thankful his tac pants had heavy enough fabric that it concealed his semi-hard cock that decided to show real quick when you walked up in that.

You were wearing combat boots, tight black cargo pants that made your ass look amazing, and a leather jacket that Bucky could bet hid at least twelve weapons, which was sexy as hell. Dressed similarly to Bucky, he couldn’t help but think how great you two looked together.

Sam had the same idea. “Okay so now you two look like a couple of badass Mission Impossible-level spies and I look like I'm going to a kid’s birthday party?”

You laughed. “Sam, you couldn’t look badass if you tried. Too cute for that.”

Sam gave you his best pout, and Bucky tried to ignore to jolt of jealousy at your comment. He distracted himself with your ass again, until the dick situation was becoming a bit too much for even the tactical pants to hide and he had to recite baseball score like he was sixteen again.

The mission should have been relatively straightforward, if your inside guy wasn’t a hostile addition to the team.

It went to shit pretty quickly.

Vasiliev had good intel, but he was an asshole about it so he really only gave basic information and you, Sam and Bucky pretty much went in blind.

Twenty guys turned out to be thirty. You and Bucky were supposed to handle them all while Sam flew down with the Russian dipshit and got him into the room where the hard drive was. The first twenty guys you were prepared for--it was the extra ten that you realized you didn’t have ammunition for, just a couple of knives and a fucking prayer.

“I’ll handle them,” Bucky grit out, ducking behind a doorframe and reloading his gun. “Just stay here.”

You leaned into the room with the remaining Russians and fired your three last shots, taking down one man. But it gave you an opportunity to survey the situation and calculate what exactly you needed to do. 

“No, save your bullet in case there are more we don’t know about. Vasili-fuck might be trying to kill us after all.”

Before Bucky could respond, you darted in and took out your favourite combat knife, quickly taking down the man closest to your path. The remaining men were stunned for precisely three seconds, which gave you enough time to rip the throat of another man and stab the next in the chest a few times. By the time the others started shooting at you, you had the dead chest-wound guy as a shield, his body taking the brunt of the bullets before you shoved him at another, leaning over and slicing his throat, too. 

By the time you were done, there were a pile of dead Russians, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little more brutal than you usually were, as a little gift for Bucky. When the men first caught sight of him when you burst into the office, a few of them called out “Soldat!” and “Sovet·skiy spasitelʹ?”. He tried to hide it, but you felt him flinch from where his trigger arm was held up against you.

“What the fuck was that?” Bucky’s voice echoed throughout the office, and you turned to him with a smirk.

“Jealous of my superior skills? Don’t worry, I can show you a few--”

“You should be dead right now,” he snarled, and the smile fell right off your face. “What the fuck is wrong with you? They had guns, I had a gun, I had it handled!”

You opened your mouth to retort, but the silence of the space was suddenly pierced through with a single gunshot. Bucky gasped, staggering forward as he clutched his side. Over his shoulder, you could see one lone Russian leaning up from where he’d been crumpled on the ground. His gun was raised, and he had a dirty grin on his face. 

It all happened in a split second. Bucky pitched forward, and you surged in to catch him in your arms, your right hand grabbing the gun strapped to his thigh and firing a shot straight through the Russian’s skull. 

You dropped the gun, Bucky’s weight crushing you as it hung boneless against your body. No, no, no, no, no. This was your fault. You didn’t fucking listen to him and you left a guy alive and now Bucky was going to die--

You eased both of you down to the floor, laying Bucky on his back, your vision blurred by the tears welling up in your eyes. “Bucky, please don’t do this, please, Bucky. Come on, come back to me.”

He was so still, eyes closed and no signs of movement in his chest to show he was breathing. You covered your mouth to hold back a sob. Jesus Christ, how could you be so fucking stupid. This idiotic, irresponsible, sarcastic, damaged man was everything you ever wanted, and you’d just found him, then promptly lost him by making the same mistake--

Bucky gasped for air, eyes shooting open. He gulped, clutching at his side as you stared dumbly down at him. He let out a moan. “Fuuuuck, that hurt.”

You blinked back your tears, reaching out hesitantly and touching the side of Bucky’s face. He turned and looked at you, a pained expression on his goddamn beautiful face. You let out a wet laugh. “I thought you were dead.”

He grimaced, tugging at his jacket to get it open, revealing the heavy Kevlar he was wearing underneath. The bullet was lodged just under his ribs. “Kind of a standard part of the uniform, yeah? Plus, even if I didn’t have it, one bullet would hardly take me down. Just hurts like hell.”

You had the sudden urge to kiss him. An uncontrollable, heavy need to put your mouth on him and show him exactly how happy you were to hear his complaining again, in that stupid sexy voice. You were actually already leaning in when Sam came swooping in, carrying Vasiliev, who you may throw off a building when this was all done. 

“Whoa, what happened?” Sam asked, taking in the bodies and you kneeling over Bucky’s body on the floor.

“She got me fucking shot, is what happened,” Bucky grumbled as he stood up, and as quickly as the need to kiss him came up, it disappeared.

“Not intentionally, you dick. Maybe you should have double checked that everyone was down before you just strutted in here.”

“So, what, I gotta review your homework now? This is pass or fail, sweetheart, and you just failed.”

You flinched, the reality of that statement hitting you hard. Because, yeah, you did fail. And if it was anyone else, they would be dead. You would be responsible for another...

Bucky realized the second he said it that he touched on something he shouldn’t have. He always had to cross the line, just to be right. Normally, that was fine with him. But with you... seeing you hurt was hurting him. He never wanted to be the cause of your pain. 

He opened his mouth to apologize, his metal hand half reaching out for you when Vasiliev came out of the corner office, holding up a hard drive. “Ponyatno!”

You looked away, and Bucky dropped his hand. Sam looked between the two of you, a contemplative look on his face, then just shook his head. “Well, if you’re fine, let’s get out of here. We have two days to make a plan for how to keep his from the Senator’s hands.”

You nodded, answering quietly, “Yeah, Cap. Let’s get out of here.”

---

Pouring over laptops, contact information, and flight patterns, you all stayed up going through many cups of coffee to figure out the plan. It was decided that you and Bucky would pose as a couple from an affluent American family in the Midwest who came into the hard drive in a bid to earn even more money overseas. Their connection would be Vasiliev, who would remove an ‘ex’ from his ex-ex-Sleeper agent title and pretend to be a Rusky again. You and Bucky would book a hotel in Brooklyn, acting as visitors to New York for the transaction.

You were scrolling through your phone when Bucky came into the living room, only wearing a pair of low-hung sweats and holding an ice pack to his side. You tried not to stare-- god, he was extremely good looking, and he knew it, too. Asshole.

He collapsed down on the other side of the couch, lifting the ice pack enough for you to see the huge black and blue bruise along his ribs. You winced, biting your lip.

“I thought you had superhuman healing of something,” you spoke quietly, suddenly feeling like shit for letting that happen to him. He was right. You shouldn’t have thought you could handle it on your own.

“Not as good as some,” he replied, a bite to his tone. “And just because I heal fast doesn’t mean I don’t hurt.”

Now you really felt bad. “Buck, I’m sorry, okay? I was so sure they were all taken out, I wouldn’t have--”

“You don’t think,” he growled, his glare now turned on you. He shifted the ice pack so he could face you, and the coldness in his eyes made you wonder if this is what people saw right before the Winter Soldier ended their life. Then you felt sick for even thinking that. “You just do whatever you want, because you’re an FBI agent on your goddamn high horse, and you are better than everyone at everything you do. Except when you’re not and people get killed, but sure, you’re the best person to babysit me.”

You felt a wave of pain, quickly followed by anger. “Really? ‘Cause that sounds like you, Bucky. You’re the fucking Winter Soldier and you are unkillable with your fucking enhanced body and a damn century of experience, and everyone should listen to you, right, Sergeant?”

Bucky just shook his head, standing up. “You don’t know me.”

“You don’t know me, either,” you responded, meeting his eyes. 

He stared at you for a minute, then turned and left.

---

A couple hours later, you couldn’t stop thinking about how badly you wanted to know Bucky. You didn’t know him. But you didn’t want this assignment to end and for you to just go your separate ways without knowing why he was so angry, how he felt about his best friend leaving him like that, what he was feeling after everything he went through, if he was coping well, or if he needed someone to remind him he wasn’t a ‘monster’ from a horror story like they made him to be. 

He was everything you wanted, the perfect man for you. And he didn’t know.

Fuck. You had it bad.

---

Bucky laid in bed that night, staring at the ceiling and wondering why he always had to push people away like that. You were... what he thought a soulmate would be. Someone made just for him. He thought as much after first seeing you handle a knife, but that just might have been his dick thinking. After a few weeks with you, he only found more things about you that fit with him perfectly, like a puzzle piece he thought was missing forever or thrown away and appeared just when he was about to crumple up the whole thing and claim it never complete. 

He didn’t think he had anyone like that out there for him. Or maybe if he did, they were long dead. How the hell did he find you now? You were right there, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He had no idea how to tell you.

Damn it. You were going to be the end of him.

---

In the morning, Sam planned to swoop in and meet you at the hotel later that evening, before the meet up. Fuck-iev would remain in Manhattan until a car would pick him up and bring him to the hotel, to fit the story that he was first meeting this couple in Brooklyn. You and Bucky would drive there, check in, make a few appearance to secure your cover for whichever of this Senator’s guys who were probably scoping out the hotel, then go back to the room to suit up and get the plan rolling.

The drive to Brooklyn was quiet-- despite his feelings for you, Bucky was still angry, and he didn’t want to say anything that he would end up regretting later. Except--how could he work with someone who didn’t understand what the hell he was dealing with? His motivations for why he was doing this even got mixed up in his own head; was he just feeling guilty about what he’d done under Hydra, and trying to make up for it? Was he actually a good person who wanted to make the world a better place? Did it matter? Did he care?

Those were questions he wasn’t sure he wanted the answers to. And you were fucking asking them.

“You know, you really have no right to tell me if I can handle something or not,” Bucky snapped, staring out his window. “You read minds or somethin’ now?”

Oh, so he wanted to go there. You kept your eyes on the road, jaw clenched as you held back the reflex to punch him in the goddamn throat. He was referring to the interrogation, after his panic attack. “I did not tell you that you couldn’t handle it. I said you should take a fucking second to check where your head is at, instead of just pretending everything is fine. It’s reckless and stupid.”

“Fuck you,” Bucky bit back, left hand clenched at his side. “Reckless, huh? Like running into a room full of guys with guns, with only a knife?”

Suddenly, you veered off the road and ripped into a no park zone, ignoring the honking and swinging around to look at Bucky. 

He was ready to really let you have it, but the anger drained out of him immediately when he saw your face. You were crying, silent tears running down your cheeks as you blinked through red-rimming eyes, but your mouth was set in a harsh line, pissed off. 

“I did that because I gave myself time to assess the situation, evaluate my skills against theirs, and the likelihood of me being able to get out alive. I do things like think things through, because if I don’t, people get killed. You did not do that. I thought you were dead, Bucky.” Your voice was quiet, steady despite the tears still sliding every few seconds. “I know you’ve been through a lot. And I know sometimes that can make you feel like nothing can kill you, if you can survive that--”

“They already killed me,” Bucky said flatly, even though his fingers itched to reach out and wipe away your tears. “I’ve been dead before. I think I’ve earned the right to decide if or when that happens again.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breathe before you opened them and said, “I don’t want you to die, Bucky. We’ve all been through some shit. It’s not always a fucking contest. But if it was, you’d win. I promise you’d win.”

It was silent for a beat, just you and Bucky looking at each other before he let out a laugh, shaking his head as he looked over your shoulder.

“Wow. You sounded so much like Steve just then.”

You paused, using the sleeve of your jacket to scrub the remaining tears from your face. “Sorry.”

Bucky just chuckled. “No, don’t be. He always called me out on my shit. Haven’t had anyone to do that in awhile.”

You glanced over at him, and before you could overthink it, you reached out and touched the back of his left hand, holding it as he relaxed his clenched grip. “If you want, I can try my best to always call you out on your shit. You just can’t have a hissy fit every time I do.”

Bucky looked down at your hands, then back up at you. His heart clenched, those stupid butterflies making his voice get caught in his throat, making it come out less strong than he was hoping. “Yeah. I’d like that. But I most definitely will.”

You smiled at that, then released his hand and pulled the car back onto the road. Bucky tried not to miss the feeling of your hand on his.

---

There would be a meeting set up between the ex-ex-sleeper agent and the Russian senator at a restaurant in Williamsburg. While Sam waited in the hotel with the agent, you and Bucky left for a walk, solidifying your cover in case anyone had seen Captain America flying on the fucking roof, and naturally began to look around.

As Bucky watched you slip on the wedding ring and give him a smirk as he put his own on, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that one day he’d like to put a real ring on your finger. 

To get out of the room, you headed towards Prospect Park, Bucky sneaking glances over at you every once in awhile, going over a million different ways to approach this. Does he just ask you for coffee? Or would you assume that’s as friends? Does it need to be dinner to make it clearly a date? What if you say no and they replace you with some asshole FBI shithead who can’t even—

“Shit, I think there’s two guys tailing us.” You leaned in and tucked yourself against Bucky’s side, pulling his left arm over your shoulder and lacing your fingers together while your right arm slipped around his waist. “Try to look like you want to be close to me, at least?”

I always want to be close to you, Bucky thinks, something caught in his throat at the way you look so comfortable under his arm, holding his hand like it isn’t legally considered a weapon. Like... it’s easy to be with him.

He hasn’t had someone like that in over a century. 

Walking through the park at a leisurely pace, you subtly nuzzled into Bucky’s neck, giving him a small aneurysm as you peeking over his shoulder. “They’re gone,” you said quietly, but just turned back and kept your embrace for a few minutes, until you reached a bench at the end the border of the park. 

Bucky was all ready to mourning the loss of your body against his, but you just sat down and didn’t break off from your hold around him. He felt you relax against him, his heart beating out of his chest. Fucking hell, what were you doing to him.

“I got my partner killed.”

Oh. 

Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but you went on, just staring off into the distance. 

“Because I was too focused on guns and knives and fists and just... fighting. Always on the offensive. I forgot that other people can fight back, too. That’s why I’m at Quantico, training others at the only thing I’m good at. Leaving the other stuff to the people who can protect lives, not just hurt them.”

Bucky instinctively pulled you closer against himself, squeezing your hand gently. “Fighting is a defence. Trust me, I knew a guy once who fought all the goddamn time because that was how he defended himself. How he defended others.”

You chuckled, and a warmth bloomed in Bucky’s chest when you scooted closer and settled in, curling his arm closer. “And how many times would that have gotten him killed if it wasn’t for a certain experimental serum some mad scientist gave him?”

Bucky grinned, reveling in this feeling of complete and utter contentment. He could talk about Steve without this sharp pain in his chest; he could hold someone he cared about with his metal arm and not feel scared or hesitant; he was so far gone on you, it was embarrassing.

Suddenly, you pulled away, sitting up and dropping his hand. You pulled your phone out of your wallet, glancing at the screen. “We have to go. Sam’s waiting at the hotel.”

Bucky fought back the wave of disappointment, nodding. Right. For a second... he thought-- but, no. This was an assignment. This was a cover. You were his teammates... assigned babysitter, whatever. You were being paid to be here.

You looked over, and saw everything written clear as day on Bucky’s face. Your phone buzzed again in your hand, but you ignored it. 

You couldn’t let this idiot think he wasn’t wanted for one more second.

You closed the short distance and kissed him, only needing to wait a moment before Bucky took control and kissed back, hard, tongue sweeping past your lips and licking into your mouth. You moaned quietly, hands coming up to scratch at the short hair at the nape of his neck, swallowing down his soft noises of want. It was heated, deep and wet and way too hot for a public park, but if you were being honest with yourself, you’d been waiting to do this from the second you met him in that training room.

Both breaking apart with a gasp and a whine, Bucky stared at you, half awed and half bewildered. You had to smile, feeling your phone buzz one more time on the bench where you’d dropped it.

“We’ll talk after we finish this. Because I want more of that.”

Bucky just nodded slowly, his eyes still drifting back to your mouth like he was ready to say ‘Fuck the mission’, which you would totally be down for, except. 

World saving. Bad guys. Innocent lives spared. That stuff.

“Really, Buck. Later,” you promised, voice dropping slightly as you leaned in and gave the poor guy one last lingering kiss. Then you stood and took your phone, flicking over to Sam’s contact and beginning the call.

Bucky watched you on the phone, pacing as you went over the new intel with Sam, knowing you have at least six knives on your person and if that didn’t kill him, those fucking lips would. This was it. Somehow, in all the shit he’s been through, all the lives he’s lived, he finally found the one his soulmate was in. His equal in every way. The only one who’s ever made him feel like he was wanted even with all his baggage, as who he was now. Who made him laugh and could sass back and took care of him in ways he didn’t even know he needed.

Plus, you were sexy as hell. He’d never been so turned on during missions when his dick really, really needed to understand the circumstances.

You said something to Sam, looking towards Bucky and catching him watching you. You grinned, and Bucky knew. 

If he had to do it again, he would. Because it would lead him to you.