#i know it's a load of crap because even people i know love me get put on that list but it's still so hard to update manually

[jnpje]

[gingerteawrites]

Your boyfriend is LOADED - Gojo Satoru headcanon

A/N: It has finally happened, my first Gojo fic. It's a short one, but I have been having this thought for a minute now, so I needed to get it out. Shoutout to @lizabeth0329 this one is for u ;)

Most of the time you forget that Satoru's trust fund is probably bigger than your entire bloodline's combined worth. He's just so carefree and light that you ALMOST forget. But not to fret, the white-haired menace never fails to remind you.

Richbf!Gojo who despite his silly antics cares SO much, always getting you little trinkets that remind him of you when he is away, or which he knows would remind you of him. You would collect and cherish them wholeheartedly, either keeping them in a pretty box or attaching the Keychains to your bag. Once, when your friend asked about one of your pretty azure souvenirs, you googled the brand just to check and almost dislocated your jaw at the realization of the price.

"What, that small thing? Don't even worry about it my love," Satoru winked cheekily when you brought it up. "You're worth way more than that."

He is also a big believer in flowers, spoiling you rotten with them. You were so moved the first time he got you a bouquet of blue hyacinths, a handwritten note explaining how they represent the constancy of his love for you, deep and all-encompassing. Now, you are more or so used to his weekly bouquets, always accompanied by either tender love messages or silly doodles signed with his name.

Richbf!Gojo who insists on treating you and paying for everything. It is his duty to care and provide for you in any way that he can. Whether you like it or not, he feels responsible for your comfort. Seeing you struggling is abhorrent to him, and he hates it even more when you don't come to him when he could so easily help.

"Come on princess, let me pay for it." He would gently coax you, hand on your cheek and a soft pout gracing his soft lips. "Please?"

And how could you possibly resist his persuasion, especially when those crystal eyes bore into yours with such tenderness?

Richbf!Gojo who is so proud of your relationship and would absolutely rock the crap out of anyone who dares come for you because of your social/financial status.

"I guess all those cosmetics you buy do nothing for the bad attitude, huh?" he commented, giving a nasty look at one uppity woman who had made a snide remark about him dating you out of all people. Moments like those reminded you that Satoru did not mind stooping down to some people's levels and insult them right in their face if it meant protecting you.

"That was harsh," You commented later, nestled against his chest during your weekly movie night in the comfort of his lavish apartment

"What was harsh was her patchy foundation." He replied with an eye roll, sending you into a fit of giggles.

Money meant nothing to Satoru if he could not use it to benefit you in some way. And whether or not you revel in this fact, you would just have to get used to that side of him because it is not going anywhere.

Satoru please pay for my tuition

Comments and reblogs much appreciated :))

[mariaofdoranelle]

Of Rumors and Bodyguards

CO-WRITTEN WITH @leiawritesstories

Written for Rowaelin Month’s Forbidden Love day; @rowaelinscourt

We’re just two writers sharing little evil giggles and big plans, that’s all.

Warnings: swearing

Words: 1,2k

AELIN GALATHYNIUS CHEATING SCANDAL: SPOTTED IN INTIMATE MOMENT WITH BODYGUARD!!!

“QUEEN OF GLASS” STAR SHARED EMBRACE WITH SECURITY GUARD! DORIAN HAVILLIARD IN TEARS!

Aelin Galathynius caught cheating on Dorian Havilliard with bodyguard! Hollywood’s Darling Has How Many Darlings??? See New Photos

After the third ridiculous headline, Aelin dropped both the stack of magazines and her phone and flopped backwards on the hotel bed with a groan. Her publicist had woken her up with coffee and the tabloids, and she wished she had time to wake up before she had to look at the absolutely crazy stories that the gossiping tabloids spread. Even though she had been acting for years, she still wasn’t used to their prying and the constant cameras clicking in her face, even when she wasn’t trying to be noticed.

Besides, that garbage about her and her bodyguard? It was pure nonsense.

Well, mostly nonsense.

The photos they had taken were true enough, because Aelin had hugged her bodyguard last night. However, there was absolutely no romance involved—Whitethorn had been physically supporting her, keeping her on her feet.

Because he’s her bodyguard. He was guarding her body, that’s all—and a lot less than she would like.

She had been about to collapse after she had received a very brief, very shocking call on the phone she rarely used. The voice on the other end had been low, curt, and to the point. There was an accident during a job. We haven’t heard anything from them. That was two weeks ago.

The implication—they could be dead—made Aelin’s whole body go weak, and her security guard’s rapid reflexes were the only thing that had kept her upright. For a moment, she let him hold her, let him stabilize her, leaned into the solid strength of his Kevlar-covered chest. And then she pulled herself together, put away her burner phone, and stepped away from Whitethorn’s hug. She’d given him a nod of thanks, and he nodded back in quiet understanding.

Simple support, and not even an emotional one. That was all that had happened.

Leave it to the tabloids to take that moment out of context and start rumors that spread like wildfire across the Internet.

And Dorian—he was probably too busy with the boyfriend he was definitely hiding from the tabloids to notice the Rumor of the Day, but his publicist would surely give Aelin a piece of her mind soon.

Elide stuck her head into Aelin’s hotel room, rolled her eyes when she saw the magazines discarded on the floor. “You know they’re a load of crap,” the publicist said as she walked over and picked them up. “Also, I need you to read this one.” She flipped one of the magazines open and laid it across Aelin’s lap.

“Why?” Aelin glanced quickly down at the pages, scoffing at the grainy, zoomed-in photos splashed onto the glossy paper. “Gossip pisses me off, Ells.”

“Yeah, I know, but you need to read the actual words so you know how to respond when the people today ask you about it.” As usual, Elide had a good point.

“Fine.” Aelin frowned, but she began to read.

Is Aelin Galathynius Taken By Someone Else?!?!?

The “Queen of Glass” star was spotted last night in an intimate embrace with a man who sources say is her current bodyguard, Rowan Whitethorn, who has been on her security team since March, when Galathynius began this press tour for the newest season of the Netflix hit series.

Sources report that Aelin and her co-star Dorian Havilliard are often seen getting cozy together outside of press appearances, and an exchange in a recent interview confirmed that the pair’s wild, explosive chemistry on-screen has spilled off the screen too. Fans all over the world were overjoyed to hear of the star’s new romance.

But the photos from last night tell an entirely different story. Could it be that the actress has more than one man after her heart? Or could she be keeping something secret?

Last night, sources say that Galathynius was walking back to her hotel with Whitethorn as her escort when she stopped briefly in a nearby park. Only minutes later, she was spotted in her bodyguard’s arms! Looks like a romance is brewing, or even already in progress! After all, her incredibly popular character in “Queen of Glass” spent the whole first season secretly in love with Dorian’s character until they finally brought their romance to light. Is life imitating art?

According to an eyewitness, the embrace lasted for several minutes before the actress moved away from her bodyguard and began walking to her hotel again. At this time, we do not know any additional details, but with the ongoing press tour, we are certain that she will make an announcement soon. Keep your eyes on our social media for the latest, hottest updates!!

“They’re such vultures.” Disgusted, Aelin threw the magazine at Elide, who caught it before it could smack her in the stomach.

Elide huffed. “It’s their job to stir up the people. Be prepared for at least half the interviewers today to ask you about this.” She launched into her daily spiel about what Aelin should expect during the press that she, Dorian and a few of their castmates were filming. “And above all, don’t you dare let Dorian answer any of the questions they’re going to ask about the plot of this season. You know better than anyone how much of a spoiler machine he is. He gets one spoiler this time. One.”

“I might have to tape his big mouth shut,” Aelin joked. “Bet the press would eat that up.”

“Honestly, it might give them something else to yap about.” Elide straightened, one finger up as she recalled something. “Pap walk! We’re doing a round of pap walks to get their attention somewhere else. I’ll text the details, but so far…”

Elide flipped through her notes, and Aelin was about to ask a few follow-up questions when there was a rapid, firm knock on the door.

“What?”

Rowan Whitethorn cracked open the door and stepped into the room. “They’re ready for her in hair and makeup.” He scanned the room, his gaze sharp, alert. “Morning, Miss Galathynius.”

His face was perfectly neutral like it always was, making it impossible to tell if he knew anything about the new rumors. He probably did, but Rowan was so professional, it got unnerving sometimes.

“Morning, Sergeant Whitethorn.” He’d never been in the military, but she called him “Sergeant” anyway. Mostly because it made him delightfully grumpy.

True to form, he frowned, but instead of his usual snarky retort, he just held the door open for her and walked her across the hall to another room, this one full of stylists. She was swept into their whirlwind, and by the time she turned around, her bodyguard was once again outside the door, on watch for any potential mishaps. Rowan really was an excellent security guard.

Too bad he was also a highly wanted criminal.

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[suroweczka]

Love Potion (reader x Zoro)

Summary: You and Zoro share a quiet night out drinking, both secretly harbouring feelings for each other. That’s until you order a cocktail with a striking name, claiming to make people speak up about their feelings…

female reader in mind

I think it’s a fluff or something (??) Nothing not really explicit anyway. Might write a smut continuation in 50 years though because why not 😌💅🏻✨

🍸🍹It was supposed to be just a night out as friends.

Everyone on the ship could see there was something more between you, but neither of you would admit that. Especially not Zoro — he could barely handle his feelings, let alone actually speak them out loud.

You picked up the menu, flipping through it casually until a certain drink caught your eye: Love Potion. The description boasted about making people spill their true feelings, claiming the cocktail had some "special" effect.

You snorted and nudged Zoro with your elbow. “Look at this,” you laughed. “A drink that makes you confess your feelings.”

Zoro’s expression twisted in amusement. “What a load of crap” he chuckled. “Any alcohol does that… If you’re a loser who doesn’t know how to drink. Which is clearly not me” He folded his arms, with a cocky smile on his face. “Oh, that’s indeed an achievement” you giggled.

“I’m tough. I don’t need to get wasted to talk about how I feel.”

You smiled at him. “They do look nice though, I think I will give it a go, would you like one too?”

“I don’t mind as long as it’s alcohol” he shrugged, leaning back with that confident, careless ease of his. That was classic Zoro; he would drink anything if it had a good kick. So, you ordered the so-called Love Potion, more as a joke than anything else.

When the drinks arrived, you took a cautious sip, but Zoro, in typical fashion, downed his in one go. 

“You didn’t mention it would be sweet” Zoro gave you a grimace of disgust.

“It’s called a Love Potion, what did you expect?” You laughed, shaking your head. 

As you were slowly sipping on your drink, you felt a subtle warmth start to spread through you, though Zoro’s reaction was even more surprising.

“Hey, (Y/N)…” He reached over, a strange glint in his eye as he locked onto you. “Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?”

You blinked, taken aback. “What? No, you haven’t…”

“I mean it,” he continued, his voice was clear. “When I first met you, it was your strength. You never backed down. Always threw yourself into the fight with no fear. Then I… started to notice other things.”

He leaned closer, his eyes wandering over your face and then down your body. “Like how hot you are” he murmured, his voice rough, almost reverent.

You blinked, caught off guard. “Where’s that coming from?”

“Just saying the truth, that’s all” he replied with a smirk.

But he wasn’t done. His hands, usually so steady with his swords, rested on your shoulders, and he was suddenly right there, his lips grazing your neck in a way that made your whole body shiver. His breath was warm, his mouth soft yet unrelenting, as he kissed down the side of your neck.

"Strong and pretty, what’s more to wish for?" he whispered to your ear, giving you chills. His hand brushing along your arm in a way that sent sparks through you. "Your courage… it’s one of the first things I noticed. But it’s more than that now" His voice grew husky. “I’d never been interested in any woman that way before.”

Your heart pounded, and the warmth from the drink seemed to blend with the heat of his words. Emboldened, you took a longer sip from your own glass, feeling that strange drink work its way through you until it gave you the courage to admit something you'd kept hidden for so long.

“When you took Luffy’s pain,” you began softly, “when you stood there after fighting Kuma without saying a word. I realised how far you’d go for Luffy, for all of us. I was in awe of your loyalty, strength… I was in awe of you, Zoro. I wanted to be someone who could stand by your side… and, I think I fell for you then.” Your words hung in the air, your face flushing with a mixture of nerves and adrenaline.

As you finished your drink, you reached out, pressing a hand to his chest. “And, I mean… have you looked at yourself?” you whispered, your voice carrying a flirtatious edge as you let your fingers slide along his defined muscles. “How could I not be into you?”

And without another word, he took your hand, pulling you toward the exit.

You never thought a drink could change everything—but in that moment, as you both tumbled onto his bed, you knew you wouldn’t be turning back.

And neither would he.

[kleoyeager78]

Can i request a kento nanami one shot where kentos a cold ceo who had a assistant who is very cute and kind but has a secret praising kink and kento figure out so yk stuff happen 🤭😻

High standards | Nanami x reader

Tw: smut

“I SAID HAVE THOSE PAPERS READY BY NINE IF THEY ARENT YOU CAN START LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB” Nanami yelled at one of his employees before slamming his office door and walking over to his desk.

Just as he was about to put his head down because the way nothing was going according to his plans today had his stress levels so high he heard a knock at the door making him groan, “come in”

“Shachou, I have those papers you asked for an hour ago! They are completed” you handed them to him and he looked over them with a little smile,

“You’re the reason my standards for this office are so high y'know” he looked up at you with a small grin, “No one works as hard as you y/n -San and it’s pissing me off” he lets out a little laugh, but it’s dry. Like nothing is funny to him at all and that he’s quite agitated,

“I do my best sir and will continue to do so for as long as I work here! If you need anything else please let me know and it’ll be done in a timely manner” you looked at him trying not to show how his earlier words had you flustered, you loved when he let you know how good your work was, it did something to you both physically and mentally,

“You’re such a good girl” he closed his eyes and leaned his head back looking up at the ceiling, “Will you make sure that everyone finishes on time? I need to take a long break” you saw that ge was undoing his tie while saying all this and that only made you want to go feral, he looked so hot doing almost nothing.

“Yes sir I’m on it!” You walked out his office and began to get everyone in line. For the most part you helped people but for the other part you just did the work because you didn’t like how some of them worked and you knew Nanami wouldn’t either.

At the end of the day when everyone has went home you still had a load of paperwork to do so you sat in your office and did it not even noticing everyone had left because you were so immersed in the work.

Your door knob twisted and in came Nanami looking at you with confusion, “why are you here so late?” He asked making you finally look up,

“It’s only six I’ll leave in about another hour sir! I’ll be sure to lock up as well” you sent him a smile before getting back to work,

“Y/n it’s eight” Nanami looked at his watch and then you,

“Crap I have less time than I thought” you mumbled to yourself and started working faster,

You didn’t notice Nanami had come behind you until he spoke, “the fact you’re rushing yet your work remains flawless” he praised making you flustered,

Your legs instinctively rubbed together and you had to forcefully stop them, “Thank you sir” you tried really hard to tame yourself but at this point you were sure he knew what he was doing to you because he stayed closed to you not saying anything and of course he could’ve just been observing your work but only a fool wouldn’t be able to see the affects this man had on your body and you knew for a fact Nanami was no fool,

You could feel his steamy breath on your neck as he spoke, “Are you hungry?” He gently spoke into your ear,

“Are you sir?” You asked a bit nervously,

“Very” he continued to speak gently into your ear,

“I can go get you food after I’m finished with this paper it’ll only take a minute. Did you have in mind something you wanted to eat?” You asked rushing to finish your work.

“You” he said with no hesitation. After saying that he straightened his back and put each one his arms on the side of your desk while standing behind your chair basically trapping you in between him.

“Sha-“ you started to speak but he quickly cut you off,

“You didn’t think your flustered faces and body language went unnoticed by me did you?”

You tried to stand up and he noticed this so he moved out your way and rolled your chair out of his way. You looked at him with shock all over your face, “Sir I-I” he cut you off with a kiss that you didn’t deny,

“Call me kento.” He said cupping your thighs and placing you on the desk. He spread your legs so that he could be in the middle of them, he place his hand on the back of your neck and pushed you into another kiss it’s not like it was hard for him to do so though, you barely could keep up with what was happening but you sure didn’t mind Nanami touching your body.

Nanami started to move down to your neck and you tilted your head back to give him more access,

As he sucked on your neck he couldn’t help but admire the moans that left your mouth, he couldn’t help but move faster so that he could get to the more sensitive parts of your body to hear them more.

He began to unbuckle your shirt and you helped him. As soon as he got it off he was unclasping your bra and showing your boobs some affection too,

You tried your best to keep down your moans but Nanami didn’t appreciate that, it didn’t take him long for him to take off your skirt and panties and have your bare ass bent over the desk,

He unbuckled his belt and took off his pants and boxers “Be a good girl and don’t hold back those pretty moans” was the only thing he said before entering you from behind,

He didn’t even let you adjust to him before he started pounding your pussy with no mercy, he loved the wet sounds your pussy made as he pounded into you but most of all he enjoyed the sounds that left your mouth,

You were moaning so loud. He was glad the only people in the building were the custodians,

“I can’t-“ you moan, not even being able to finish your sentence. Your eyes were in the back of your head at this point,

You suddenly squirted on Nanami and couldn’t keep yourself up so he put his hands on your waist and his thrust only got rougher,

Then you felt it.

Your legs began to shake and you creamed on his cock.

This made him speed up only making your legs shake more violently and also caused you to moan and cry from the pressure,

After just a couple of minutes he exited your pussy and just as you thought he was done and was just going to nut on your back you felt him put just the tip of cock in your ass and he fucked it until his cum was leaking out of him and into it. Some of it dripping down to your pussy causing him to fuck it in there.

By the end you could barely walk or speak, your throat hurt so bad from moaning.

Kento took you to get something to eat and then took you home, he noticed that you couldn’t physically do anything after what happened in the office so he ended up crashing at your place,

He made sure that you were not only feed but clean and that was enough for him to call it a night,

A/n ~ I completely forgot how to write smut I’m so sorry yall I wish I could’ve done better on this one

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking a cross-country trip without telling my parents?

🔜🚇 for ID purposes, my friends will get it lmao

This is being submitted after the trip was taken, so it's in retrospect. I can live with being an asshole if I'm labeled one, I just had a lot of conflicting feelings preceding said trip, even if by now I don't regret it because it was fun. At this point I'm just curious!

I am 26yo and AFAB nonbinary. This is relevant.

During the first week of the year, I took a trip across the USA to go to a convention to meet up with some internet friends I am close to; some id met before, but most were mutuals/people I video chat with regularly.

My parents are extremely catholic. They're very suspicious about online friends in general (so much so I stopped talking to them about going online when I was in high school), and are very transphobic so I'm not out to them. Since I'm AFAB, they're very "oh be careful out there and NEVER do anything alone because it's DANGEROUS." Which feels like a load of crap to me; I'm taking a vacation, not going for a jaunt down a dark alley. My mother in particular is also very into conformity, so I've never told her about my con-going, fandom loving ways.

So I planned and went on this trip, entirely in secret, and lied the entire time I was there. And I had a genuinely great time, no regrets, and not once did I feel unsafe. I told my housemate (almost 26) my flight details and whereabouts so I had backup if needed, and figured that was fine on the safety front. Also I am financially independent, so none of their money was used.

The conflict: obvious I lied a lot. I know my parents would disapprove and would be so mad if they knew. A few of their ideas just center around me being safe, so I felt kinda bad, you know?

A lot of folks will see my age and say I can do what I want, but being brought up by overprotective Christians will indeed make realizing if you're being reasonable or not a whole lot harder! I'm also working on figuring out how to proceed in the future; I still talk to them bc of my elderly pets and extended family. It's complex to navigate. I wanna throw this one to tumblr to decide, I think it would be good to get some random perspective in here. I'll be replying to questions in the comments off anon once/if it's posted :)

So tumblr AITA for taking a secret trip that my parents would've disapproved of top-to-bottom and straight up lying about it?

What are these acronyms?

[onceuponastory]

Oh, doesn't he just look perfect? And funnily enough, I had an idea for a Bucky AU floating around in my head, and this gif gave me the perfect push to write it. So thank you for the gif, love!

An Intriguing Stranger

Plot: Despite how poorly Y/N's night at the Gallery of Contemporary Art is going, it soon starts to look up when she meets a handsome stranger. However, he has a secret of his own. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Some swearing and a mention of alcohol. Also Bucky and reader mocking some art. If I miss any triggers, please let me know!

"Care for a drink, ma'am?" A waiter asks, and Y/N grabs a glass off his tray with a smile, following it up with an hors d'oeuvre a moment later. She glances down at the tiny morsel of food in her hand.

"Fucking rich people portions." She hisses. Although, considering where she currently is, the small portions are not too surprising.

Right now, Y/N is standing in the entrance foyer of the Brooklyn Gallery of Contemporary Art. For the longest time, she's wanted to challenge herself, to learn more about the world around her. And what better way to seem cultured than to go to an event hosted at said art gallery?

The only problem is that the second she stepped through the door, Y/N immediately realised that she doesn't like most of the art on display. Unfortunately, though, the ticket cost her a lot of money, and it'll look weird if she leaves so soon after arriving. But mainly, Y/N doesn't want to go because she spent so much time getting ready that she doesn't want her efforts to be wasted. Even if she's not enjoying herself, she'll be damned if she doesn't let everyone see how good she looks.

And besides... not all the art is awful.

Grabbing another filled glass off of the waiter's tray, Y/N stops in front of another painting. The colours are bright, too bright for her liking. She wrinkles her nose disapprovingly.

"Like what you see?" a voice sounds, and Y/N looks up to see a man standing beside her. He runs a hand through his shoulder length brunette hair, smiling at her.

Damn, he's cute. A lot better looking than the art, anyway.

And oh crap, he's staring.

"Well. I don't, really." She admits. The man raises a brow, smirking.

"Oh, really? How so?"

"It's just so bright, and in your face. It looks like the artist just dumped a load of paint on the canvas with no thought of how it would look, or to make something with it. It looks like blobs." A part of her is confused by why she's suddenly unloading her negative opinion on this complete, albeit handsome, stranger, but somehow she already feels comfortable enough around him to do so.

Thankfully, though, the stranger doesn't seem to mind. "I agree. It's chaotic, but I'm not sure if it's in a good way." He nods, tilting his head and nibbling on his finger, as if deep in thought. "It's as if the artist was drunk, and had no care for the complexities of art. He just wanted to make some kind of statement, a 'fuck you', to the expectations of the modern art world."

Damn, this guy really knows his stuff.

Y/N nods, leaning closer to see who the offending artist is. A small plaque reads:

Untitled. James Buchanan Barnes. 2021

"He didn't even title it! Do you think that's part of his 'fuck you' statement?" The man's laughter rings through the air, and soon Y/N's joins it.

"Oh, I know it was." The man clears his throat, grinning once more. "If I may say ma'am, you look wonderful tonight." Heat settles on Y/N's cheeks, and she feels her stomach fluttering. Despite knowing how good she looks tonight, the handsome stranger actually mentioning it is making her go all weak at the knees.

"Thank you." She smiles. But before either of them can say anything else,

"There you are!" another person calls, and Y/N notices an immaculately dressed woman striding over to them. A badge pinned to her chest says 'Gallery Director.' Immediately, fear and guilt fill her veins, and Y/N wonders if she's about to be thrown out of the gallery for her cheek towards the paintings, her chance to seem cultured over before it even began. However, the woman breezes past her, the scent of her undoubtedly expensive perfume intoxicating, and instead, she focuses on the man standing beside her. She takes his hand, shaking it tightly. "My dear friend, it's so wonderful to see you! I'm so glad you could make it."

"It's a pleasure to be here, Natasha." He grins.

"There's a champagne reception for all the guests of honour upstairs. I'd love to see you there." Y/N raises a brow. Her new friend seems to have a lot more influence than she originally thought. Perhaps he's a friend of the gallery? Or a news reporter ready to cover the event?

"I'd like that." As the woman departs, Y/N smirks.

"You didn't tell me you were famous around here." Now, though, it's the man's turn to smirk.

"Allow me to introduce myself." He takes her hand, shaking it. "James Buchanan Barnes. Pleasure to meet you."

James Buchanan Barnes. Huh, that's funny, that's the same name as...

And then, the rudest awakening Y/N's ever experienced hits her, raining down like a tonne of bricks.

Oh shit.

~~~~

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[jj-5656]

First Impressions With; James Potter (Marauders)

A/N: Holy shit, hello again. Been a damn minute, six month hiatus yet again. First semester of college kicked my ass, but I can’t get this idea out of my head lately. To anyone who reads and even enjoys, please leave a comment. I love any and all feedback. Missed you guys, sorry I was MIA. :)

Summary: The one where you finally confront the egotistical chaser for Gryffindor, and realize things aren’t always as they seem. 

TW: Descriptions of assault, attempted assault, ect. It’s lengthy asf apologies in advance

       James Potter is undoubtedly the most insufferable, pompous, self-absorbed asshole to ever grace Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

You’re sure of it. 

At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself as you grip the chilled glass of firewhisky between Lilly and Marlene. Watching the raven-haired boy amongst his friends in the Gryffindor common room. It’s a fairly relaxed night, you’d save the real partying for the weekends. Though you’d all survived a particularly difficult potions exam, and found it more than enough means to celebrate with a small get-together. There isn't much to worry about when it came to drinking under school-roof. Seeing as your prefect was one of the many students indulging in the nights activities, nursing his own glass along his friends. Remus is a sandy-haired, soft spoken student you’ve come to know through Lily and Marlene. 

It’s a wonder he even gives the rambunctious Potter the time of day, let alone choose to call him a friend. 

“Head boy, can you believe they’ve considered appointing him head boy for next year? James Potter, having authority over even the prefects, what a load of crap.”

“He’s not that bad, he’s actually quite pleasant at times.” You shoot a look to your redheaded best friend, who’d see the good in even the worst of people. 

“Respectfully, Lilly, if I were to maliciously pour this drink onto your lap, you’d forgive me in a millisecond. I don’t necessarily trust your character judgement.”

“Ever the dramatic, y/n. And I’d forgive you because I love you, but not after ‘accidentally’ spilling my drink on you.” She kisses the crown of your head cheekily before grabbing you and Marlene’s empty glasses, seeking to refill them. You wave her affection off despite the blush of your cheeks. 

And then Potter says something that catches your attention almost instantly. 

“Where do you think the lonely bloke is now? Probably in his dorm, moping about like always.” The fellow sixth year seems to have had half a glass too many, sudden passionate disdain for the Slytherin hadn’t been a topic the entire night. 

“You a fan of his, Potter?” You snap from the couch across him, catching the attention of the burly kid and his friends. The alcohol in your system also the cause of such an abrupt remark.

“Sorry?” He asks through a half-hearted laugh, incredulous gaze revealing the intense hazel in his eyes you hadn’t noticed before. 

“Are you a fan, would you like an autograph or something? I only ask because he’s almost all you talk about. And you can’t seem to leave him alone.” Marlene straightens beside you, sharing a confused look with the rest of the boys sat beside James. Who quirks his head at your irritated tone. 

“And you are?” 

“Tired of your bullshit, leave the kid alone.” You’ve honestly been waiting for give the Chaser a piece of your mind since you saw him trip the sullen Slytherin in the library. You hate a bully, and you’d be damned to stand by and watch. Not to mention his incessant pestering of your kind-hearted best friend, who returns to you with full glasses and a stern look pointed your way. You ignore her silent disciplining, too enveloped in your staring match with the boy opposite you. 

“Just a bit of fun, love. Nothing to get upset about.” Sirius, another acquaintance through your girlfriends, attempts to ease the tension. Setting a hand on James’ tensing shoulder. 

“I don’t think he’s having much fun. Seems a bit one sided if you ask me.”

“But we didn’t. Ask you, I mean.” You cock your head, pleasantly surprised at Potter’s wit. Having mistaken him for the dumb on the spot type.

Maybe it’s not your business, maybe your actions are making an enemy for no reason. But you know the likes of James Potter.Coming from a wealthy, well-known wizard family. And Snape, who was a half-blood, and not a wealthy one at that. At least, you’d assumed from his hand-me-down robes and unkept clothes on the train your first year at Hogwarts. He’d confided in Lily a couple times, and from what you could understand he was simply a quiet boy who was terribly misunderstood. Being a half-blood yourself, you’d fallen victim to some snotty comments from other students. And if Potter’s quarrel with the boy was due to his status and lack of pure-blood, you wouldn’t dare let him get away with it. 

“Maybe we should head up to the dorm-” Marlene starts before James interjects. 

“Nonsense, we were just leaving. Have a wonderful rest of your night Marlene, Lills, and-” He pauses, eyes narrowing in silent challenge. 

“Y/n.” You deadpan, pretending not to notice the anxious expressions of the boy’s friends and those of your own beside you. 

He hums, giving you a once over before finishing the remaining contents of his glass in an embellished swoop. Setting it down with an intensity that makes Remus cringe. “Y/n.” He tests the word on his lips, tongue running over his teeth with a vexed smirk. “Pleasure, truly.” 

“I’m sure.” You quip instantly, taking a particularly large sip of your own drink and tilting your glass in farewell. He scoffs, turning on his heel and heading to the boys’ dormitory without another word. 

“Alright, what the fuck was that?” Dorcas accuses, having silently entered the room amongst the commotion. Her astonishment pulls a laugh from you, and Lilly’s eyes widen tenfold.

“Laughing, she’s laughing? Merlin, you amaze me!” 

“I’m right, aren’t I? He’s mean to that poor boy for no reason. He’s pompous Lilly, thinks he’s better than some of us for being muggle-born. I wont tolerate it.”

“Has he said that? Has he personally told you that?”

“Doesn’t have to.” You cross your arms, defensive.” She only throws her arms up in exasperation as you begin to aid Marlene in cleaning up the room. 

“He’s a bit messy as well.” The dark-haired girl holds up his empty glass, biting back a smile when Lilly smacks her palm to her forehead, exasperated. 

***********

   You’re at an actual party this time when you interact with James Potter again. 

Ravenclaw is hosting after a successful round of midterms has finished. You can finally shake the mid-semester stress away and enjoy yourselves for the few days break you receive from classes. It took longer than expected to enter the house’s commons. Sirius had reassured you all he knew the riddle to get inside, until he in fact, did not know the riddle, and you were all left coughing through a fit of charmed smoke. Until a a soft-spoken second year, no less, walked by and allowed the group of you in. 

“Beautiful, you’ve just earned yourself a glass of firewhisky, love.” Sirius yelps when Remus smacks him upside the head, watching as the younger student slips past the rest of you, past the celebratory atmosphere and straight to the dorms. The common room has been charmed to prohibit any students younger than sixth years of entering, thank Merlin. 

Those from their respective houses usually enter these parties together, so you’re unfortunately grouped in with the marauders. Including James, who avoids any and all eye contact with you. Both of you sporting deep scowls until you’re finally able to disperse. Most older Hufflepuffs are already there, and Slytherin is the last to enter. Waltzing in with bottles of alcohol they most definitely wont share, contrary to the generosity of the other houses. Who all usually trade bottles of their specialty drinks to one another. 

“I’m gonna grab a drink, what do you guys want?” You shout over the music and boisterous laughter emanating from the room, admiring the bronze and blue decorum of the foreign commons. Theres a universal “surprise me” from your girlfriends, and you head off to the drink table with a curt nod. There��s an array of liquors and mixers on the table, and you survey the options before deciding on a simple handful of Hog’s Head brews. 

“I don’t take a girl like you to be so keen of draft beer.” Noah Lyre, a stalky seventh year smiles wickedly beside you. Like most Slytherins, a hint of judgement in his tone. “Here, try some of this, my own concoction.” 

“I’m alright, thanks.” You offer a tight-lipped smile, nose scrunching from the bitter smell emanating from the shiny black flask from even a foot away. He takes a step closer, to which you raise your brows. 

“I insist, you’ve got to at least try it.” He moves the flask toward you once more. To which you stick your hand out, irritated with his wandering eyes and unwavering persistence. 

“I said I’m good, thanks.” Is all you say before side-stepping his towering figure and heading back toward your friends. Passing out their respective drinks and taking a few gulps of yours, attempting to brush the creepy interaction off. 

“Everything alright?” Marlene leans close so you can hear her, you offer a reassuring smile and a quick nod. 

“I think this is the part where you ask Sirius to dance, considering he’s been eyeing you since we got here.” You tease, Lilly and Dorcas following your eyes across the room where the marauders are settled. Sharing a round of shots and shaking their heads to rid themselves of the bitter taste. Marlene steps forward at Dorcas’ shoving, shooting the three of you a half-assed glare before headed toward the boys. Amongst them, James hasn’t rid himself of that pitiful look. Wallowing beside his cheerful friends and taking large sips of the drink in hand.You meet his eyes for a split second, heads ripping away from one another’s direction as if the actions singed your skin. 

“Dorcas, look.” Lilly nudges the shorter girl excitedly in the direction of a Hufflepuff on the other side of the room. “It’s that sweet girl from potions who asked me about you, go talk to her!” Dorcas looks terrified, vehemently shaking her head as Lilly grabs her forearm. 

“Absolutely not, I’ll make a fool of myself.” 

“You will not! C’mon, I’ll introduce you.” The red-head beams as she tugs her along. You ignore the burning glare you receive as you ignore her mouthed ‘help me’ as she’s whisked away. 

*******

The atmosphere’s become increasingly chaotic as the night pushes on. You’ve shared a few shots with Marlene and some other acquaintances from your classes. Having just left a rambunctious game of truth or drink before hading into the hall. Not quite near the dormitories, afraid of disturbing any sleeping students, you simply seek a little more quiet. Just near the communal bathrooms, you’re stood admiring a painting of Rowena Ravenclaw. Watching as an eagle swoops by in the background.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” You spin on your heel to see Noah, significantly drunker now as compared to his last appearance 

“I think you’ve got the wrong person.” You cross your arms, taking a couple steps back as he stumbles toward you. 

“No, I don’t think so.” He sneers, same lustful eyes raking over your form. You square your shoulders at an attempt to appear bigger than you are, heart racing at the oncoming severity of the situation. He reaches out to play with a strand of your hair and you fight a gag at the overwhelming smell of liquor leaking from his pores. 

“My friends will be wondering where I am, see you around.” You force out, attempting to shuffle past him when he takes strong hold of your wrist. Grip so tight you lose your breath. He tugs you into his chest, sneering when you struggle in his grasp. 

“Get the fuck off me.” You all but shout, panic shooting through your chest when he backs you into a wall. 

“Where are you going, love? I just got here.” 

“Let me go, I fucking mean it.” You stomp on his foot, crying out when he he pulls you forward and smacks you against the wall. The back of your head coming into contact with the painting. Distantly, you hear the enchanted eagle squeak in surprise. 

Your cries for help are muffled when he wraps his hand around your throat, forcing the air from your lungs as your eyes go wide in terror.

“Just behave, sweetheart. This’ll be so much more enjoyable if you do.” Tears prick at your eyes not only from the inability to breathe but from his revolting words. Faintly, you hear the unclasping of a belt buckle as you writhe and kick with all your might. He’s much larger than you are, though, pressing the force of his entire body weight onto you to cease your fight. With his free hand, Noah enclasps both of your wrists together and forces them above your head and against the cold, hard stone. You feel his lips graze your jaw as bile rises in your throat, mentally preparing for whats to come next before he’s suddenly ripped off of you. 

You collapse to the floor, clutching your throat and gasping for air. The room spins, and you shake your head to come to your senses. It’s dark in this hall, but it’s clear whoever has the Slytherin blonde in his grasp is severely beating the shit out of him. You stumble to your feet, wiping the blurred moisture from your eyes to gather yourself. It’s then you realize the identity of the assailant. Unmistaking the familiar head of dark curls and tall, brooding figure. 

James. Fucking. Potter.

Potter, landing blow after blow, doesn’t stop his assault even as blood (and what looks like a couple teeth) spews from Noah’s mouth.

You try to speak, but your own voice fails you. Strained and cracking from the pressure it’s been under. You cough, trying again with your hands out in front of you. 

“J-James!” Is all you manage, croaked and unfamiliar to your ears. It’s the first time you’ve ever voiced his first name aloud. This must stun him, too, because he pauses his assault to look over his shoulder at you. Noah groans underneath him, and the disheveled Gryffindor spits on the floor next to him in utter disgust. There’s a final blow to his head that makes you wince, and Noah’s out cold. 

James stands, wobbling for just a moment before he straightens. Rolling his neck in a slow circle, strained with effort. You take in his sharp, handsome features, still in pure shock. He takes in your trembling form and immediately snaps his head away. You quirk a brow, confused when he shakes his jacket off his shoulders and holds it out to you. Only when you look down do you realize your blouse has been torn. Quickly taking the fabric and wrapping it around your shoulders with deep embarrassment and misplaced shame. 

Silently, James uncuffs his sleeves and rolls them up toward his elbows. “I’m gonna kill him,” he grabs the unconscious boy by the collar and pulls his arm back to lay yet another punch before you stop him. Hands clasped around his veined forearm and pulling it down. 

“You’ll be expelled!”

“Fuck’s that matter?”

“You’re not thinking straight, look at him. He’s out, he wont be getting up any time soon. It’s fine, it’s over”

“It’s not fine. Nothing about this is fine.” He’s hot with anger, running a hand through his tousled hair and grimacing at the pain that shoots through up his arm. 

“Your hands.” You whisper, to which the boy surveys his own handiwork, covered in blood and cut up from his own rings. He shrugs, eyes narrowing as he notices the uncontrollable trembling of the appendages. You reach out to touch them, but he pulls away. Afraid of any further pain. You pull your hands to your chest, shocked at the red marks already forming all over your wrists. 

“You alright?” He mutters, tone softer than you’ve ever heard before. It’s odd, the sudden quiet of it all. Only the muffled music from the common room to be heard in the background. 

“Better off than him, I suppose.” You make a meek attempt at a joke, nudging the bloodied boy on the floor with your foot. 

To your surprise, three Slytherin boys scurry into the hallway. Stopping short in their tracks with mouths open wide. James steps in front of you without a second thought, wiping the excess blood onto his trousers and nodding his head toward the unconscious kid in front of him. 

“Get him out of my fucking sight.” The trio doesn’t speak, shuffling into action the instant he finishes the command. It’s a struggle for them to lift up the dead weight, but they move fast enough after James releases an exasperated sigh. Right as they exit, James’ friends and your own stop dead in their tacks, trying to process all they’ve just seen. In the other room, the music cuts short, you and James both pull a face in understanding. This’ll be the talk of the school for the next week. 

“We should go. All of us.” Remus announces, the rest of you nod. Your friends are on you in an instant, tugging the jacket tighter around you and checking your body for further injury. You let them hover, knowing they must be in almost as much shock as you. It’s a wordless shuffle back to the dorms, the boys ensuring their bodies shield your own as you make your way through the halls. You separate when you reach the common room of Gryffindor, and James is the last pair of eyes you meet with before sulking into your respective dorms. 

It’s only when you reach your bed do you allow yourself to be overcome with sobs. The weight of all thats happened collapsing in on you. All the girls can do is stroke your hair and whisper idle reassurances. When you finally relax a little, Marlene waves her wand over your head. Casting a peaceful sleep spell to get you through the night. 

**********

   Taking the steps up into the boy’s dormitory has your heart racing. The memories of last night never having left your mind. Despite the lingering, slight hangover you’re fighting, the only real evidence of the assault is the bruising on your neck and wrists, faded now that Lilly’s cast a charm on them. The deep, purple marks, and the whispers of fellow students. Unsurprisingly, word got out about what happened, and there’s been a lot of stares. After a concise meeting with McGonagall, Noah’s been expelled. You overhear in a hushed conversation between a few third-years that he’d walked out of his dorm with his belongings in hand, head hanging low to conceal the developing shiners on his face. A few slow, deep breathes, to ground yourself before knocking on the door. 

It’s Sirius who answers, offering the same sympathetic gaze you’ve been receiving all morning. 

“Hey, love.” He offers simply, studying your anxious form. 

“Hi, I didn’t mean to bother you guys I just...” You fumble over words despite having rehearsed this scenario a million time in the past hour. “I just wanted to return this to James, he lent it to me last night. I also never got to thank him, so please extend my gratitude when you see him.” You extend your arms, offering him the fabric in hand. Expecting him to accept it and bid you farewell. Cringing when you think you sound too formal and, well, rehearsed. 

“Nonsense, you can tell him yourself when he comes back. He was called to Dumbledore’s office but he should be back any minute.” He reads your sullen expression at the mention of potential discipline for an incident he didn’t have to get involved in, but he waves his hand dismissively. 

“Dumbledore knows what happened, might revoke a few points form Gryffindor but Prongs won’t be punished. It was self defense, really.” The raven haired boy comes to realize rambling on about the traumatic events are most likely not what you need to hear right now, so he clears his throat and smiles once again. Sirius Black, of course, does the complete opposite of what you’d expect him to do. Stepping aside to welcome you in. “Come in, come in, Remus just started a pot of tea.”

“Oh, no, thank you. I didn’t mean to intrude I just meant to drop this off and-” 

“Please, we insist. Besides, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“You have?”

“Of course.” There’s a few beats of silence, and you accept the cup of tea Remus offers with a kind smile. Feeling utterly undeserving of such gestures due to your last interaction. Sirius, realizing he’s supposed to be leading the conversation, then continues...

“I simply need to get to know any girl who can make Prongs speechless. And you did, in the common room the other night.”

“About that, I just wanted to apologize. I think I gave off the wrong impression and-”

“You can’t be serious, we loved it!” Sirius interrupts passionately. 

“It was a little harsh, sure.” Remus translates for his dear friend, as usual. Albeit true. James can come off a little...” He searches for the appropriate words, handing Sirius a steaming cup as he continues. “...Brooding, at times. But he means well. He has a good heart, just a little ‘do before you think or say’ kind of guy.”

“So I’ve noticed.” You joke, not unkind.

“See! That there. You’re quite witty, and fiery as well. James needs that in his life!” Your eyes widen at his presumption, Remus winces. 

“What he means to say, is James is quite stubborn. And doesn’t always listen to us when we try to nudge him in the right direction.” The lanky boy recovers, not before shooting Sirius a look. 

“And I do?” You laugh, amused at the absurdity of such a notion. 

“Yes.” They chime in unison, Sirius delighted in the abashed heat that singes your skin. He grips the chair in front of you, and you suddenly feel very small in their kitchenette of their dorm. 

“Prongs, James, is not silenced very often, if at all. He was mute for like, two whole days after your little argument in commons.” 

“Right.” You mutter, shame heavy in your tone. “I see now it was a bit, bitchy of me.” The two are a little taken aback by your language, though you continue anyway. “I didn’t have all the details about the situation. I just felt I had to say something...My mom’s a muggle, and I don’t know. I got defensive at the notion that he was the type of person to see her as less because she isn’t a witch. I made an assumption, a wrong one at that, and I feel terrible about it. Especially after last night.” Keys clatter as you finish, and you’re stunned to see James at the doorway, having heard your entire spiel. 

“Oh, hey” You mutter plainly, horribly embarrassed. 

“Hello.” James swallows, fiddling with the worn wrap covering his hand. “Does it hurt much?” 

“Sorry?”

“The bruising,” he motions to his neck in reference to yours, and you realize Lilly’s charms have completely worn off now. You caress the tender skin with a wince, smiling softly in reassurance to the concerned looks it earns. You take out your wand, aiming to perform the spell once again before James shakes his head. “Don’t. You shouldn’t have to hide what happened. He should live with the shame. Should have kept hitting the bastard.” He mutters the last part to himself, fist closing tightly and then releasing, jaw tensing as he recalls the conflict. 

“I think he got the message, Prongs.” Remus mumbles idly. James only shakes his head, clearing his throat and once again fiddling with the wraps around his hand. 

“You should probably change those. Here, let me help.” You get up from your seat, surprising even yourself as you approach the much taller boy. opening the discarded first aid kit strewn on the kitchen counter, they must have left it out in last  night’s commotion. 

“It’s fine, really. I’ve had worse.” James tries to pull away but you grab his arm and bring it toward you. Eyes full of such sincerity the boy finds his mouth has gone dry. He hadn’t noticed how bad the bruising was until now. Up this close, he can see the discoloration shaping out where Noah’s fingers were. It makes his stomach turn, flashes of the image forever ingrained in his mind. He can only imagine how it must be for you. And despite your strained relationship, James Potter comes to the conclusion that he’s been awfully concerned over your well-being the past 24 hours. 

“Please, it’s the least I can do.” Silently, you unravel the fraying wrap from his hands. 

“You know it’s against school policy, James. Laying your hands on another student. I should expel you.”

“Professor-”

“No matter, I understand the reason behind your actions. While I won’t tolerate any more violence on your behalf, I think you did what was...necessary.” 

James only nods, eager to go back to his dorm hide under his duvet. It’s all been so overwhelming. The stares, the whispers, the shaky feeling he’s had all say. Knowing you must be experiencing it tenfold. 

“Now, please Mr. Potter, straight to your dormitory. And try and look as though I’ve actually disciplined you.”

James snaps out of his thoughts when you flinch. In his daze, he’d reached out toward your neck. And although you’re certain he’d never harm you, you’ve been avoiding any physical touch since the incident. 

“Sorry, so sorry.” He manages dumbly, avoiding the not so subtle gawking of his friends. They know the boy better than himself, and know when he’s smitten over someone. Fuck, had he really just thought that? 

“It’s alright. I’m still a little jumpy I guess.” You say plainly, not quite gathering the weight of your words until you notice their collective reactions. You hate it, the pitiful gazes. Looking at you as if one wrong move could break you. 

“Sirius, we have to go do that thing.” Remus grabs the former by his arm, pulling him past you and James and toward the door. Sirius, still staring at the pair of you, clutches onto any furniture that will halt his friends actions. 

“No, there is nowhere we need to be, I’m perfectly fine right here!” He shouts in a panic, seemingly enamored with the two of you. 

“It’s very urgent, the thing we need to do. See you both at dinner.” Remus hurries his farewell, tugging a pouting, squirming Sirius all the way. 

“It was just getting good!” You hear from down the hall before James shuts the door with his foot. 

“What’s gotten into them?” 

“You should know they are almost always that insufferable.” James deadpans, though there’s a faint fondness in his tone. You know he loves them much more than he’d like to admit. It’s endearing. You've just referred to James Potter as endearing...What a bizarre 24 hours. 

“I don’t think I’ve said thank you yet.” You laugh, despite the absurdity of it all. 

“No need to thank me.” He only shakes his head, watching as you pour a small container of bewitched ointment onto a cotton ball. It smells strongly of herbs and peppermint, and the muscled, supposedly tough sixth year pulls his hand away before you can dab it onto his knuckles with a small grunt.

“C’mon, I haven’t even started.” It’s the first time in a while he’s seen you genuinely smile since everything happened. You like to tease James Potter, and he likes it too. 

“Smells awful, I’ll get Remus to find a healing spell.” 

“You need topical medicine, not a spell that will ware off.” You tug at his arm once again, both shocked at the force of it, so strong he has to take a step forward. Close enough to feel the warmth emanating from you. He’d probably be able to smell your hair too, if the horrid ointment was capped. He’s once again taken aback by his own longing thoughts. Just two days ago, Potter considered you an enemy. 

He sucks his teeth when you begin to apply the medicine, doing your best to be gentle. You pause, waiting for his signal to continue. 

“Didn’t tell me it was gonna sting.”

“Would you have let me put it on if I did?” You shoot him that incredulous look again, and James has to bow his head so he can manage to speak. You’re much too intense for him to bear, he thinks. And he then understands how much trouble these feelings will get him in. 

“There is a need. To thank you, I mean.” Unable to control the shudder of your shoulders when he releases a deep, pained breath from your work. Hoping he hasn’t noticed. 

“Y/n, I already said-”

“James,” There’s his name on your lips again. And it seems the two of you recognize its foreign nature once more. “If you hadn’t stepped in he could have-” You stop yourself, swallowing hard to fight the nausea. “You and I both know what could have happened. I didn’t...I haven’t taken that gesture lightly. Let me appreciate that.” You’re stern albeit no less kind as you begin to re-wrap his knuckles. Skin grazing his as you go. He’s silent, staring so reverently it takes your breath away. “Thank you.”

“Welcome.” He whispers, and you swear you see. For only a millisecond, James Potter’s eyes avert to your lips. And you think he might kiss you. And you think you might want him to. He pushes a strand of hair from your face, leaning even closer to you. You blink, slow with a reminder breathe, as you realized you hadn’t been the last few seconds. His hand trails down to your jaw, gently tilting your head up toward him. You let your lids closing, awaiting his lips on yours at any moment.

“We should put ice on it.”

“What?” Your eyes shoot open, and James has just most definitely fucked that up.

“Your neck. There could be swelling.”  He attempts to caress the skin there, but you step back, ears burning hot with embarrassment. Why did you think he was gonna kiss you, why did you want him to?

“Oh, sure. Right.” You watch as he fumbles about to the fridge, grabbing an ice pack and wrapping it in a paper towel before outstretching his hand toward you. Internally cringing when you take et instead of allowing him to place it on you. Merlin, I’m an idiot.

“Dinner. We should go eat.” You collect yourself, moving toward the door when James nods hurriedly. 

“Right, dinner. I’m starving, actually” He fumbles horribly, wincing at the crack in his voice. “I’ll meet you down there.” You nod, reaching for the door when he stops you. 

“Y/n?” You halt instantly, turning on your heel in hopes you haven fucked up as royally as you assume. The chaser scratched the back of his neck with a pained smile. “Thank you for returning the jacket. And, uh.” He gestures with his hands in reference to the bandaging. All you manage is a tight-lipped smile. And he swears he sees a hint of moisture pricking at your eyes, mouth agape to say something, anything. But you’re out the door before he can even blink. Not hearing the flood of curses escaping his mouth after kicking the kitchen bin in a fit of anger, clutching the now throbbing foot and hopping around the room like the bumbling idiot he is. 

***********

Dinner is weird. Really weird. Sirius insists you and your girlfriends sit with the marauders. Taking you by the shoulders and sitting you right beside a silent James. Marlene and Lilly were delighted, having always wanted to sit by the boys. Though with your not-so-secret disdain for Potter had always made meals a little weird before. You’d talk mostly to Dorcas, who was always eager for good conversation if it meant she could listen and not have to talk as much as you did. You understood her quiet nature more than the other girls, and often borrowed whatever book she’d be willing to lend you in leu of shared analysis. 

But now, Dorcas was looking between you and James with a shit-eating smirk. Much like that of Remus beside her, who pretended to be more interested in the book in hand rather than the two in front of him. Pushing the food around on their plate idly, whatever bites taken were chewed slow and with deep thought. 

“This is nice,” Sirius chimes cheekily. “All of us, eating together. I think we’ve found ourselves an established group. Don’t ya think, Prongs?” 

“What?” The boy voices beside you, much too loud to be appropriate. You’re both still getting stares from some of your peers. Although most of the buzz of what’s happened having worn off, now you’re seen sitting right beside one another. Bandages and all. 

A couple of Slytherin girls make their gossip particularly obvious across the room, one of them pointing at you as the rest giggle along. You sink impossibly closer into your seat. 

“Ignore them.” James mutters, practically seething as he stares them down. “They have half a mind to start double checking the locks on their doors. Seeing as that’s the type of boys they have lingering about in their house.” He finishes dryly, doing a double take when he finally glances your way. Fists clenched in rage once more as you blink away tears. 

“He’s gone now, for good.” Marlene reassures, flicking Sirius on the forehead when he does little to conceal his searching of your teary eyes. 

“How’s it feel, the bruising. You think the ice helped any?” James asks for what is likely the tenth time since you’ve sat down. Gently knocking your arm away that tries to stop him from taking hold of your chin. Surveying the discolored skin with a deep frown. 

“Probably in the same condition as it was ten minutes ago. And the ten minutes before that.” Black deadpans, yelping when Lily kicks his shin from under the table. Smiling sweetly when you and James jerk your heads toward the commotion. 

“Let’s change topics, yeah? Remus, how’s that book you’re reading there.” The sandy-haired boy is mid bite when she asks, mortified all the attention has turned to him. 

“Lovely,” is all he manages, swallowing thickly. 

“I’m gonna head up to bed.” You announce, tossing your napkin onto your barely touched plate of food with a feigned smile. They all straighten, offering a chorus of soft- spoken ‘goodnights’ as you rise from your seat. 

“I’ll come with you.” Lilly moves to get up, but you wave your hand. 

“No need, I’ll manage. See you up there.” You gather your things before heading toward the large doors of the great hall. Pulling up the collar of your dress shirt as you feel a few pairs of eyes follow you. 

James scrambles from the table without a word, hot on your heels as you both exit. 

“Y/n, wait up. Y/n!” You cease your movements, so sudden James has to steady himself on your shoulders. You look around, glaring at a few fourth years as they gawk at you. Whispering all the way. You pul your shoulder back to leave his grasp, guilt overcoming you when a flash of hurt overcomes his features. 

“People are watching, Potter.” You mutter, paranoid eyes darting around you. James stiffens, pained by your sudden formalities. 

“So what? Let them say whatever they’re gonna say. We know what happened.” He crosses his arms, brows taught with tension. 

“It’s not that easy for me.” You defend, fiddling with your collar once again. 

“I told you to stop covering that,” James reaches out to adjust the fabric himself. Further irritated when you pull his hand away. 

“They aren’t going to spin this on you, James. You don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand, I think I’m well aware of whats gonna happen. This is all gonna blow over, and this school will be better off without that piece of shit.” 

“No!” You blench at your own volume, shaking your head before continuing. “You want to know what they’ll say Potter? That I asked for it.” James steps back, disgusted at the notion. 

“Why on Earth would they say that?”

“Because that’s what some people say to make themselves feel safer, it’s easier to blame me than him.” You shrug, throat tightening at the realization. 

“Where’s this coming from?”

“There was a note, in the girls lavatory. Dorcas tried to throw it away so I wouldn’t see but, I did.” James studies your face, awaiting you to continue with soft eyes. “Some Slytherins are saying I made it up, since Noah’s such a good Quidditch player, was gonna be captain next year.”

“Good at Quidditch player, he’s a beater thats hit three of his teammates because he can’t aim.” It forces a strained chuckle from you, and you only shake your head. 

“Doesn’t matter James, they’re saying I got him expelled for Gryffindor’s team because we’re-” You stop yourself, somehow even more uncomfortable. 

“We’re what?” He cocks his head when you motion between yourselves, sighing at his confusion. 

“That we’re together, James.” 

“Oh.” He scratches his nose, shuffling through the beats of awkward silence. 

“Yeah.” 

“Well it’s all bullshit, why are you letting it get to you?” You practically draw in on yourself at his words, fresh tears begging to escape your eyes at his unbeknownst cruelty. 

“Right, it’s all bullshit. You’re right, I should just let it go. We can get back to our normal routines and everyone will see it isn’t true.” You attempt to turn away from him, but he grabs the fabric of your robes. 

“I’m sorry,” he laughs despite himself. “Am I missing something here?”

You falter, opening your mouth to respond but not quite sure what to say. He looks genuinely distressed, and you make one last attempt at extending an opportunity. “I don’t know, are you?” He’s silent, searching your face for answers you can’t give him. Panicking at the though of losing contact despite all you’ve been through. 

“Did you mean what you said about me. In the dorms.” 

“James, I told you-”

“No, you didn’t. Do you really believe I think you’re less than me because you’re a half-blood? You really think that matters to me?”

“No, not anymore, anyway.” James smirks, stepping closer when your brows furrow in confusion at his sudden mood change. 

“So I’m not as pompous as you thought I was?”

“You most definitely have a big ego, Potter.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” He takes your jaw in his hold, eyebrows raised in teasing inquiry. You lick your lips, swallowing thickly and avoiding his eyes. 

“What d’you think they’d all say if I kissed you, then?” You almost cough, choking on your own saliva at his words. The cheeky bastard just keeps smiling, basking in your flushed demeanor. 

“Oh eat slugs, Pott-” Your interrupted with his lips on yours, lifting off of your heels to make it easier for him. James, insufferable as always, is grinning the entire time. 

“Yes! He made the first move, Remus. You owe me two galleons-” Sirius is cut off by his own whimper. What must be the lot of your spying friends shoves him into the hallway so he’s the only one caught, in which he stands speechless under your glares. 

“A sweet little first year lost her cat, you guys seen it by any chance? No matter, I’ll keep looking for it. Bloody kids always losing their pets.” And Sirius, the dope that he is, begins to make kissing noises in a meek attempt at recovery. Feigned grumbles of “here, kitty.” Echo down the hallways before you hear his fleeting footsteps. 

You press your forehead into James’ chest, utterly embarrassed and admittedly exhausted. What a bizarre 24 hours

[msviolacea]

Okay, I've been sitting on these thoughts for a couple of weeks, and I've been reading one of my favorite genre writing books today in preparation for a potential project, and they flashed to the surface again. And I just can't resist anymore, sorry.

I saw a post a bit ago that seemed to angrily indicate that telling writers that they need a plot summary/logline/advertising text that goes beyond a list of tropes was somehow ... ableist? discriminatory against marginalized writers? some kind of elitist bullshit? I don't know, but I could hear the whizzing air of a point sailing over someone's head as I read it and it irritated me.

So, okay, let's go over why I think that's a load of crap.

You have a book or a fic or a story of some sort. When I ask you what it's about, you tell me "bisexuals in space, enemies to lovers!" If we're talking about a fanfic, okay, that's probably enough information to tell me if I want to read it - because I know the fandom, and therefore I have a pretty good idea of what else the story is going to entail. But if you're trying to sell me on your original story? I'm sure there are some people who would still jump on it, but I am really not one of them, and I venture to guess many, many other people are the same way.

Why? Here's a sampling of what your trope phrases do and do not tell me.

Okay, there are bisexual characters. And the fact that you reference enemies to lovers makes me think that we're talking about a romance. But that's not guaranteed! Is the story about the bisexuals falling in love? Is it a space adventure in which people incidentally fall in love? Does it not involve love or sex at all, just a bisexual character in a totally different story who happens to have sex with an enemy in a side plot?

Seriously, how does bisexuality or enemies or lovers factor into your plot?

If you're basing your advertising of your story on sexuality, what kind of society are you writing about? Is this a fun fantasy space setting where there's no discrimination based on who you want (or don't want) to have sex with? Or is this story going to include discrimination that parallels real-world problems? Those are two vastly different moods I have to be in to read a thing.

Overall, even if this is a romance, what's the sub-genre you're going with? Space opera? If it is, is it a ridiculous Jupiter Ascending world or a more gritty Expanse-style world? Is it hard sci-fi leaning? Is it actually a murder mystery set on a space station? Is it an action thriller set on a giant starship? Is it a cozy character study? Something totally different?

What do your characters want? A story in which your MC wants to become monarch of their homeworld is very different than one in which your MC is a smuggler trying to get out of legal trouble, and both are very different from an MC who is devoted to revenge against the person who killed their family.

What tone is your story? Again, if you're using tropes to advertise, my guess is it's somewhat lighthearted. But that's not guaranteed at all.

These are just the things I could think of in like 5 minutes. And maybe you don't care about any of these things, and you're happy to have an audience just of people who can read any kind of story any time as long as there are bisexuals in space. That's great! You found your audience! Have fun!

... but I'm betting that audience is very small, relatively speaking. And that you wouldn't be complaining about it if you didn't want a wider audience.

And implying that a reader or readers asking for something more than a list of tropes is somehow discriminatory against you, whatever marginalization you happen to have? That's insulting nonsense. Writing a story summary - be it for an Amazon page, the back of a book, the summary box on AO3, your website, whatever - is a skill that can be learned by anyone who can write a story long enough to require one. It's a different skill than writing the story, don't get me wrong, but it's a skill you can learn regardless.

By all means, put the tropes there too! Have them at the top or bottom of your summary! Put them on your website! I know romance authors who have search functions on their websites where you can filter by tropes! Those are great, but those authors also know that an individual story summary is also necessary! I can filter and say "I want to read hurt/comfort" but then I need to know what the fuck the story is about. Fanfic can be just about hurt/comfort and get its audience - BECAUSE people know the base fandom. Original fiction, not so much.

Anyway. That stuck under my skin, and now it's out. Hooray.

[idontplaytrack]

Hey, if i don't mind can i request a Janis fic where reader gets jealous of her spending too much time with Cady. It can turn into Smut if u want

Thank you!

Talk Too Much

Janis ‘Imi’ike x insecure fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language, self-loathing, smut— fingering, oral(reader receiving)

Cady and Janis get paired up for a project. Reader doesn’t like feeling what she’s feeling and ends up confronting Janis about it.

Turned out way shorter than I thought it would be😔

The Baby Project. This stupid project that has caused Janis to spend too much time with Cady. Way too much. The teacher decided that the best way to pick partners for it were to draw names out of a box. You got stuck with Aaron. Aaron, of all people. While Janis had to partner up with Cady— for two whole weeks. Not that there was anything wrong with him, but for the past week, seeing Janis even talking to anyone but you as much as she has, left a sour taste in your mouth. You hated that Janis' attention was on the redhead so much.

"You know I wouldn't mind if you wanted me to get Cady to switch with you, right?" Aaron has noticed your odd behaviour.

"No, no. If she likes spending time with her that much, go ahead." You scoffed, "Cady's more likeable than I am, anyway." "y/n, what the hell are you talking about?" He squints, still holding the doll in his arm.

"Mrs Strickland said no swaps, and since they seem to be so chummy, I might as well just give up." "Okay, those are two separate things. One, okay, fine we cannot swap partners for the project. Two, Janis freaking loves you. The whole school can tell- everyone sees it. Right now she's just laughing because their fake baby has a weird eye— it's broken, look at it. This school has barely any budget."

You watched them both sat side by side at the back of the class.

"You know her, she will never do anything to hurt you. They're just doing whatever's needed of the project— to pass this class. Talk to Janis about how you're feeling instead of sulking all week like you have been and acting like you're okay when she talks to you."

You wanted to scoff and him again, but he was right. And you just didn’t like that he was right— your mind didn’t like that. What it liked, was fucking things up for you, making you think of the most ridiculous, untrue statements that made you feel like shit.

After this class, was lunch. You walked up to Janis and just put your arm around her waist, “Hi.”

“Hi, baby.” She presses a quick kiss to your cheek.

“I need to talk to you.” You answered.

“Okay.” She says, allowing you to lead her away to somewhere private. You practically dragged her all around school, she tries to keep up with your pace and you eventually locked yourselves in the janitor’s closet. “So…I’ve been a little jealous of you spending more time with Cady.” You started.

Janis looked at you, her brows raised as she smirked, “Jealous? Oh, boy am I glad you can be honest and tell me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…I’m glad you’re opening up to me. Though, I’m just trying to work properly with her so I can pass the class instead of flunking. i never meant to upset you, I’m sorry about that. How are things with your baby project? Aaron isn’t just making you do everything, is he?”

“Seeing as he has the doll right now, no. He’s been fine to work with- other than you and Damian, he’s probably the next best project partner.” You told her, “See, I know for a fact that you’re just trying to do a good job on the project. It’s not like you’re randomly just spending a bit more time with Cady for no reason. But I just…y’know, think of crap that isn’t true sometimes and make myself feel shitty. It automatically makes me think that you like her better than you like me, you like spending time with her than with me, that you’d fall out of love with me and fall in love with her. God, I talk too much. Just a load of bulls—”

You were rambling.

Janis shook her head, “Don’t ever force yourself to not feel things. Feel those feelings, work through them, let them pass- but don’t shove it down. Talk to me, write it down. Never keep it to yourself. I’m here.”

Her hand rests on your hip as her other hand brushes the hair out of your face. “Kiss me.” You requested breathily. She gave a small shrug and pulled you in to kiss you. Your tongue flicked at her lips in a silent ask for permission. The kiss deepens quickly and turned into a handsy make-out session. You were acting like a touch-starved, needy person. Whining into the kiss when she bit down onto your lip, Janis laughs teasingly.

“Want me to keep going?” She asks cheekily, hand roaming your ass.

“Yes.” You nodded impatiently, “Yes, please. I want you to fuck me and make me feel good.”

“Oh~” Janis teased, running a finger up your side, “Okay, princess. I’ll make you feel good.” Janis slips your leggings off in one swift gesture, hand cupping the mound making you yelp. Janis chuckles, looking down at her hand on your cunt, “God, you’re so wet.” She runs her middle finger up from your entrance to your clit, where it stayed, teasing it in slow circles which left the tiny bundle of nerves yearning for more. You whined, unable to keep your desire unheard. She captures your lips to shut you up as her fingers skilfully spread your lower lips and pushed into your tightness. She groans lowly at the feeling, “Fuck, you feel so good, y/n.”

That compliment gave you butterflies and had you dripping. Janis smirked into the kiss, caressing your cheek with her left hand as her right hand fucked you like there was no tomorrow. She went pretty fast, but it was just the pace you preferred in a quickie situation. You kept whining, the lewd noise began to fill the tiny space. “You want people to hear you, baby?” She purred into your ear, “Want to let them know you’re mine? How good I’m making you feel right now?”

A strained noise gets caught in your throat when her thumb pressed flat against your clit. She gave you no chance to detach your lips from hers, even when you had to cry out. It felt like torture, but it also made you more aroused, grinding against her hand in sync - with its movements.

“Damn. Am I fucking you or are you fucking my hand, baby.” Her teeth tugs on your reddened lip as she asks, allowing herself to see your face.

“I don’t care, just make me come.” You panted, grabbing her face and reconnecting your lips.

“I will, honey.” She promised, adding a third finger which slid inside without resistance. You moaned into her mouth, knees buckling feeling the stretch and her assaulting your inner sensitive spot repeatedly. Letting out a muffled high-pitched whine, your hand fell lazily on her shoulder, nails grazing her clothed upper back. “Fuck.” You whimpered, “Fuck— gonna come— Ah~” That exclamation at the end came out as high-pitched as it could, making Janis give you an almost perverted grin as she slams her fingers into you.

Her hands squeezed your breast as you began clenching around her fingers, breath coming out in short pants. The whining, it doesn’t stop. So do Janis’ fingers and hand, efficiently coaxing an orgasm out of you. You buried your face in her shoulder to muffle your noises while you came, arm around her upper back for support. “Yeah, baby.” She chuckles, pressing a kiss to the crook of your neck, “Such a good girl, aren’t you? Coming for me just like that…I wish you could see how pretty you look right now, y/n.”

Her hands held you on either side as she squatted then kneeled down before you, spreading you open. “What—”

“Cleaning you up, of course.” She stated in a tone completely opposite to her intentions, making you feel the flutter in your core. Janis gently licked you clean, but it quickly went in the opposite direction. Sinfully quickly.

“Okay.” Janis chuckles, breath fanning against your heat, “Looks like you’re all I’m having for lunch today.”

“Fuck you.” You grunted, bucking your hips against her face.

She grabs your thighs, “Yeah, go ahead babe. After class, I’m all yours to have tonight. And all weekend.”

————

🏷️ Tag list!

@ashecampos @cheesysoup-arlo @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

[fredwardart]

The Stethoscope Sponsorship - Jenson Button/Andrew Shovlin

(with light Mark Webber/Sebastian Vettel/Jenson Button)

So I came up with a headcanon that Jenson is a cardiophile (I wrote about it here) and after @watercolor-hearts did this amazing drawing for me, she sent me a message that Jenson in his Brawn suit would look great with a yellow Littmann. And after some nice feedback from @landoisokay who informed me that I made him levitate and he wanted more about this idea, I wrote up my thoughts on how the team would benefit from some sponsorship from a stethoscope company...

Brawn used to give sponsors a deal for individual races to get as much money as possible, so what would happen if Jenson manages to get a deal with a stethoscope company? The team don't want to go with it but Jenson is very enthusiastic about it. Shov tells the team that it probably would be good to promote Jenson's commitment to health, but he knows the real reason; he's seen all the stethoscopes Jenson has at home. And Jenson couldn't turn down such a sponsorship deal with a company he uses so often, and the team couldn't afford to turn down such a big deal.

Jenson loves the photoshoot the most because he can show off his kink in a "covert" way, right under everyone's noses. He models lots of stethoscopes for a campaign about heart health and since he's known as a merchant of chaos off track, it's really useful in earning him a reputation as someone that really loves health (despite all of the alcohol and drugs).

Rubens also really enjoys it too, he didn't think he'd enjoy all of the different styles and how it suited him. But Rubens' favourite thing is seeing Jenson so excited about it. Jenson did try to keep it down low but it's really hard for him when his kink is so out in the open.

Jenson's so excited that he tells the director about which stethoscopes would look better on Rubens and which ones would be best to promote, even making suggestions for each member of the team.

He makes a passive joke about how the team should promote them too, Nick decides to try it one, but then Shov takes the one from Jenson's neck and tries it on, Jenson almost collapses from the sight of it and Rubens just grins knowingly.

It's not particularly liked by other sponsors - Richard Branson thinks it's a load of crap but he gives in when he sees the money coming in.

Being part of an overall health campaign (like the recent ones with Heineken) is good for the teams rep but the best thing is that Jenson becomes a brand ambassador. He does interviews where he talks about it and people think that he's just a health nut after he got so far into a healthy eating campaign and changing opinions after that one interview where he's very obviously high.

Shov loves that everyone is seeing the Jenson that he sees at home, so openly enthusiastic. And it's not like Jenson could hide it from Shov anyway, it's practically impossible to hide them that amount of stethoscopes and he's walked in on Jenson unwinding before bed with his eyes closed and listening to his chest. Shov actually encourages it because he thinks it might help Jenson calm down quite a bit. They don't use it in bed, but Jenson doesn't need to because he uses it in his time with Mark and seb.

Christian dislikes Brawn as the season goes on so he certainly doesn't want Mark and Seb associated with that, but they do an unofficial photoshoot with Jenson the "leaked" photos get so popular that the team can't turn down the PR opportunity.

Jenson is somehow still going stealth with his kink (he doesn't know how no one's worked it out yet). That is until he's in his driver's room before a race using the stethoscope to get into the zone - definitely important based on how the second half of the season is going - with his race suit pulled down and fireproofs pulled up. He's so focused he doesn't notice that people walk in. They ask him what the hell he's doing. He starts to panic because he has no idea how to explain it. Luckily Rubens walks in and grabs his stethoscope. He gestures to it, saying how the company asked them to test it so they could get real opinions on it. He then comments that Jenson would get a better idea if he moved it further to the left. The people shrug, satisfied with the explanation, and leave them to it. Jenson thanks Rubens for intervening, but he's curious about how Rubens knows about auscultation points. Rubens admits he knows nothing about it and only said it to get the people off his back. Jenson points out that Rubens was directing him to a different auscultation point and offers to show Rubens.

Rubens agrees because he's really curious. He'd embraced the stethoscope endorsement but he hasn't really used them beyond what they were required to do in photoshoots.

Jenson lets Rubens listen as he moves the stethoscope around his chest and explains the advantages of each auscultation point and exactly what he can hear. Rubens gets his own stethoscope and tries his on himself. He has to admit it's really interesting and it's nicer than when a doctor does it. Rubens admits that he's curious about what it sounds like when a doctor listens to someone's breathing, so Jenson offers to let Rubens try on him. They both enjoy it a lot.

However Rubens can sense something is wrong so he asks Jenson and Jenson says that he wishes that Shov would listen to him in that way, he'd like to get a check up. Rubens convinces him to ask when they get home, and if it came to it with all of Jenson's resisting, he would ask Shov for him.

Jenson doesn't bring it up to Shov, he can't bear asking since Shov seems a little reluctant especially after Shov voices his opinion that free stethoscopes are a bad idea because Jenson already has too many. He does say that there's nothing wrong with Jenson having so many but there's not enough space in their apartment.

Shov comes around eventually when Jenson gets excited about which ones he might get, so they have a conversation about which ones would suit them best, flipping through the catalogue and circling them like 2 children with an Argos catalogue at Christmas. So Shov buys display hooks for them to hang in the living room. Jenson is so overjoyed that he buys shov the stethoscope he was interested in. Shov loves it, he puts it round his neck and watches Jenson try to dampen his natural reaction at seeing his partner do something he so obviously loves.

Jenson looks at him with slight confusion as he puts on his glasses with a stern expression. Shov gets immense enjoyment when he informs Jenson that he needs a checkup and can't escape it. Jenson goes wide eyed - Rubens must have told him - but his heart starts racing at the mere suggestion of a checkup from his favourite doctor. Jenson had daydreamed about this so many times and to have it finally happen makes him think he's dreaming.

Shov enjoys it too, inspecting him very thoroughly and listening intently at every auscultation point, before offering stern words of advice that he must slow his heart down, he needs to be functioning at his best so he'll do well in races. He smiles because he knows that it's his fault Jenson's heart is racing, but he can't resist giving him a little playful telling off.

[ivyroseposin]

A Helping Hand (A Cardinal Copia One Shot)

Cardinal Copia and Reader

Summary: There's nothing between Cardinal and his white suit or how much the white suit shows.

Just before the show Cardinal and his love get a little distracted and he needs a bit of hand to get rid of a problem before the show starts in ten.

Smutty

Words: 1,747

“Cardinals on in twenty” A guy ran thru the hallway balancing a load of stuff in his hands. I stared back at him watching as he zoomed past people almost dropping his stuff a comedy act if you really thought about it. 

As the time got closer to stage time the more busier and loud the hallways became. With people rushing around to get stuff done or ghouls jumping around trying to tie their boots because for some reason they can't sit and tie they instead multitask horribly. “Have you seen Copia” I passed Cirrus who was doing some voice training. “Last time I saw him he was in the dressing room fixing his hair” She rolled her eyes with a chuckle. I laughed shaking my head imagining him in the mirror just trying his best to get his hair the way he wants. “Well I will see you on stage well on the side of it anyways and do remember to tie your shoes” I pointed to both boots that were untied and dragging on the floor. “Crap” She mumbled to herself. 

I loved these days well the days when they performed and I didn't have to do any stressing work for the clergy. It was a bonus that I could listen to music and have a good time plus I liked the music so it was another bonus. 

“Remind Cardinal it's white suit today,” A sister said passing by.”Of course the fan favorite” I replied. The one where everything was on display. Don't get me wrong I was not complaining but I did know how much he sometimes hated to wear it. As he worded it. “Everything is in the wrong place” over and over again. 

“DARLING” I heard a yell while I passed a room. “Huh,” I said looking up to see the dressing room worded on the door. “Copia” I cheered walking into the room. There he stood sitting in the seat staring up at me. “White suit huh,” I asked closing the door behind me. “It's a good day to wear the suit” he winked. “Cocky” I whispered watching as he spun his chair around to face the mirror. “How's the hair,” I asked walking behind his seat. “A mess” He grumbled smoothing it down with his hand. I leaned down my lips near his ear. “It looks fine it always looks fine” We made eye contact in the mirror his ears becoming a light pink. 

“Why must you look at me like that” He whispered our eye contact not breaking. “No idea what you are talking about” I stood up turning away from him hiding the obviously stupid blush forming on my face. Copia and I relationship was weird we did things that couples did but we were not a couple.  Some would call it friends with benefits. 

“Are you ready for my show love?” He asked standing up from his seat. “Of course and I get to have free drinks and watch you dry hump the air it's going to be a wonderful evening” I explained leaning back on the couch. “I do it pretty good eh” He winked walking next to me. “You do I, I mean I hear the roars of the fans every time” and I mean every time I swear I would see some fans drooling their eyes peeled to copia. “Hello,” Swiss knocked on the door and before he waited for an answer he pushed the door open nearly falling to the ground. 

“We are on in ten minutes,” He said shooting finger guns as he backed. “What they said you have twenty minutes” I stared up at the clock to see time only went by a few minutes.

“The suit looks good?” Copia asked standing in front of me. The suit almost melted into his body and god was it hot. “Uh huh,” I breathed staring down at the ground. “Am I flustering you” He stepped closer. He raised his hand to under my chin raising my head. “Huh,” I asked looking up at him. “One day you should look into some better pants you know pants where you can wear underwear” I added in causing him to chuckle. “Why could I if I get this reaction, especially from you” He inched closer. I could smell the strong mint lingering. “No, you have ten minutes to show you need to get ready” I slightly pushed on his chest to push him away but he didn't budge. “We have time to fix your fluster” He kissed my neck gently his free hand on the hem of my shorts. His body was close and I could feel his hard growing on my thigh. “I will be fine you have a show to do” I slightly nudged him again. He didn't budge his lips falling to my collar bone sucking on my skin. “Oh god,” a moan escaped my lips. I could feel the smile forming on his face as he left a mark on my skin. 

“You just fall for me” He sang leaving slopping kisses up my neck. “Some days” I answered another moan escaping my lips. He was right all he was doing was kissing me and I was a moaning wet mess. 

“After the show” I whispered my hands running down his suit. He pulled back staring at my eyes and then at my lips his eyes darkening. “How can I go on stage with this huh” He stared down at his hard. His pants do nothing to hide it. A laugh escape my lips staring up at him as he licked his lips inching closer once again. “Showtime SOON BABYY” Rain yelled through the halls. I took a deep breath staring at the opened door that swissed opened. “Hm,” I said escaping his grasp and heading to the door. “The rest will be after’ I explained as I closed the door locking it. 

“We can do a lot now” He grabbed ahold of my hand pulling me in. Our lips collided. Our kiss deepened as he pushed me back against the couch pulling up my oversized shirt his hand caressing my chest as he licked my lips wanting more. “What fun will it be to do all now” I pushed him away. “Torture” he growled. “Shh,” I kissed the side of his lips. My hand slid down to the zipper of his pants slowly unzipping his pants his hard throbbing at the touch. 

“So unfair” He barely got out. He inched closer to my neck leaving kisses as his hard cock sprung out of his pants. “Flustered are we” I repeated his words. There was one thing Copia loved to do with me and that was to tease especially when I so badly wanted him but today it was the other way around. “Do you think of me on stage?” I asked taking full grasp of his cock and stroking it slowly a quiet gasp leaving his lips. “Do you think about me when you pleasure yourself” I stroked again rubbing my thumb over his tip. “Oh god love” He moaned his hips buckling into mine. “Not an answer” I stroked his tip my thumb rubbing over and over again. 

“Yes, all the time” He answered the small whimpers following his answer. “On stage...I think of you” He groaned leaving slobbery kisses on my neck. His cock throbbed as I fastened the strokes rubbing over his tip. Every time his hips would buckle into mine. I could feel the wet pudding from me. 

“Fuck” He moaned throwing his head back. “They all see everything but I am the one who gets to pleasure you” I whispered “To kiss you” I kissed his neck. “To make you cum” I stroked his tip his cock only throbbing more in my hands. “Oh hell oh god” He groaned soon there were no words but loud groans that escape his lips. I regretted not doing more now and knowing that I would have to wait for an entire show to have him in me. For us to become moaning messes. 

My strokes slowed down and my hand remained on his tip some cum spilling out and landing on my thumb. He watched as I brought my thumb to my lips licking the cum off. “I want you” He growled. His lips were once again back to mine the kiss more aggressive than before. 

“After the show” I answered breaking the kiss. I licked my fingers wet grasping his hard making him flinch with a whimper. I stroked his cock slowly his head flying back as groans followed. By now he was thrusting into my hand wanting more. “God” He moaned his head falling to the crock of my neck. “You are only mine” I whispered into his ear. “Only yours” He growled thrusting his hips again. 

 “Oh I’m gonna cum” He moaned pulling back from my neck and smashing his lips into mine. We kissed moans escaping both of our lips as the kiss got rougher wanting to devour each other. “I can't last no longer love” He whimpered. 

I kissed his lips once more before I got down on my knees still stroking his cock. “Cum” I said licking the tip of his cock earning another buckle of his hips. He grabbed ahold of his cock sliding it into my mouth his free hand grabbing ahold of my hair. “You will destroy me” He groaned slamming his cock to the back of my throat and thrusting as his cock throbbed. My eyes watered still never used to the size.I bobbled my head up and down his large length as loud groans escape his lips. “Oh god” He groaned loudly his cock twitching in the back of my throat without letting go he pushed my head to his hips his hand tightly on my hair. The twitching of his cock as hot cummed flowed down my throat.

I swallowed his cum his cock sliding out of my mouth. I stared up at him our eyes meeting. I licked his tip once more taking the rest of the cum. “CARDINAL SHOW TIME”  a loud knock came from the door. “Show time” I whispered standing up. I kissed his lips once more then pulled away. “After the show” he pointed as he did up his pants. “Good luck” I winked as he unlocked the door walking out. 

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Weekend! How exciting we have a premiere date! Feb 20th. The light is at the end of the tunnel wonderful fandom. It’s beautiful and bright. I’m going to crank up to 3 reviews a week so I finish the week before s6 premieres. So this worked out nicely heh

Ahh this episode is another giant friggin work flirt. That competitive fire that drives one of their love languages is prominent af in this episode. Only they could take a shift apart and turn it into a flirtatious competition. The marriage vibes are extreme in this one in the best way ha Let’s get going.

4x06 Poetic Justice

We start off with Tim getting an assignment from Grey. He wants to get Jerry Mcgrady to retire. They’re running out of things to assign him to that aren’t a strain on him. Front desk he takes too much time telling stories. Even the kit room is becoming too much for him. So it’s Tim’s job today to have the ‘It's time to retire talk.’ Tim being Tim says it’ll be a piece of cake. Wanting to prove himself to Grey he can handle it no problem. That the tough conversations aren't an issue.

That if he doesn’t agree he can use his injury for an involuntary retirement. Cold Timothy. Cold. Tim makes it to the Kit Room and is instantly thawed. He is ready to hit him with the cold hard truth as he put it to Wade. Before he can Jerry gives him a load of praise right off that bat. It makes Tim stumble off the blocks super early. It's so sweet and genuine too. How could he not struggle after saying he's proud? I'm sure those are words he never got from his own old man.

Tim tries again and fails for a second time. It’s the way Jerry is looking at him. Tim can’t pull the trigger. Instead he invites him out to ride with him LOL Well done Tim baha This was not the plan at all my love. Tim Bradford is a softie and we all know it. Grey walks up asks how it went? Tim admits he faltered and he’s riding with him instead.... Grey is beaming. Knowing he wouldn't be as ruthless as he claimed in his office. Wade can’t help but give him crap on top of it. Asking what happened to the 'Cold hard truth?' Tim swears by end of day he’ll get him to retire. Mmhmm sure.

In the cold open Nolan and Harper arrested a man digging in a city park. He was following a treasure hunt riddle. With Tim swapping Lucy out for Jerry she is riding with Nolan. He hands her the riddle and she starts to decipher it. Lucy figures out the first clue and they go to the pier. When they roll up people are fighting. A young woman is killed by getting an ax to the chest. People are insane.

This is what brings it to the LAPD’s full attention since there is a casualty. They find out the author of the riddle is a previous criminal. He was apart of a robbery where he hid 2 million in gold coins. They never recovered them. So the city is losing it's collective mind trying to find it. They need to be the first to get it. Grey calls Lucy up cause she was the first to solve a clue. She is beaming as she makes her way up.

Let’s first admire the forearm porn we’re getting in this first gif. Man makes me so thirsty I need a glass of water. Arms-crossed Tim is one of my fav poses. Those glorious biceps popping out of those sleeves too. Whew lord. Anyway Lucy is so very excited to present her findings. How she got the clue she did. It’s adorable how proud she is of it. Look how Tim never takes his eyes off her the entire time. You know he loves when she analyzes and breaks things down.

Her intelligence is a turn on for him whether he wants to admit it or not. He can’t let anyone catch onto his admiration... So he calls her ‘Nerd.’ to make fun of her. Which fails because it comes off super flirty. Negating his idea to to tease her for her brain. It comes across as banter more than anything else. Fail Timothy big fat Fail. Your mouth is saying one thing. Your body language and intense gaze say another...

Jerry is a sweetheart and tells her not to let Tim shame her. It’s a great catch. This is why it's hard for anyone to have the retirement talk with him haha A kind station grandpa to them all. Lucy goes from being annoyed to thanking Jerry. Tim’s sly little smile when she does is so cute. You know he’s proud of her being in the spotlight. Sporting her brain but has to tease her. It's how they function haha They’re so cute I can not. Flirting once again for all of the station to see. It's truly a wonder they're in the dark about it.

I love this moment between Harper and Tim. I'm glad I had the room to add this in. She joins in with Lucy's train of thought for the rest of the poem. Flaunting her brain as well. Tim gives her a look wanting to make fun of her as well. Nyla is on it and dares him to call her a nerd too LOL The looks between them make me laugh so much. I love their teasing camaraderie. It's my favorite. It's how Harper and Lucy get paired up to decipher the rest of the clues. Nolan feels left out cause well it's Nolan. Like that kid picked last for dodgeball. Grey tells John if he asks nicely he's sure he can join them. SMH. Friggin Nolan ha.

The cuteness continues when Lucy asks if Tim and Jerry wanna be part of her task force? That she can make it happen haha She’s adorable and I can not stand it. Tim does what he does best battles back with a flirty tone. Trying to talk down about her ‘task force’. Saying old fashioned policing will get it done just fine for them.

Flirt more you two…oh wait they do. Ha Lucy offers up a bet she knows Tim won’t refuse. Because once again why deal with feelings when they can channel it through a work flirt instead? Honestly how Jerry could allow Tim to date his daughter after this display I couldn’t tell ya. It's so painfully obvious how into one another these two are.

They lay down the terms for the loser. Tim saying she has to be quiet an entire shift. Please Timothy like you really want that…but ok that’s your “reward” if you win. I mean it would drive her crazy not to talk so it’s not the worst pick. Lucy choses something way more apropos IMO. He would have to do something out of his comfort zone. Not only that but it’s her choice. Can only imagine what Lucy would've chosen. Something that would've been good for him I'm sure. Cause she's good like that. Her track record with him is solid.

Lucy's face is so smug from the minute she brings this bet up. So convinced she has this in the bag. Gah these two love a good competition and flirting it up a ton in the process. Like pre-get together foreplay for them haha They then start the worlds longest handshake to seal the deal. They once again are in their own world. Like Jerry isn't even there…

The best part is while they continue to work-flirt they're holding hands. They could've broken it off but nope. Basically holding hands while they fiercely flirt. The flirty competitiveness continues with their jabs. The poetry club shot from Tim. Her being sassy af about their 18 old case files. Saying how ‘easy’ that’ll be for them to crack. LMAO Shots fired. All the while still holding hands. Because the work flirting wasn’t enough of a bat-signal to everyone else. They continue to hold hands while doing so. Seriously Jerry couldn’t you see the man was already taken?

We return to Lucy still at the whiteboard with Harper/Nolan. She gets a text from Tim saying they had a big breakthrough. Lucy could not be more dejected and anxious for them to get their own. Nolan and Harper tell her to ignore Tim. He’s just trying to get into her head. Yeah that's what he does. He kinda lives there rent free and vice versa with this kind of stuff. Good luck getting her to listen to that advice haha She is far too wrapped up in this competition with Tim to have that clarity. She does eventually put her phone down though.

Her taking a phone break does help her focus a bit. Because once she does they have a breakthrough of their own. They’re headed to the Griffith Observatory. Lucy is vibrating with excitement over this. She’s more excited to tell Tim they got something more than anything else. It’s so funny and adorable. The commentary in the gifs above is hilarious.

They are legit just trying to solve this case. While Lucy gets amped that they're gonna catch up with Tim and Jerry. Harper and Nolan’s reaction to her is priceless in the second gif. Lucy is too caught up in her work flirt. Telling them before they go she has to text Tim first. Let him know they’re gonna kick his ass. Because priorities LMAO

The way they look at each other is the funniest part. First and foremost they didn’t ask to be apart of this flirty bet haha They’re in it just to solve a case. Second they’re thinking does she not see it? She has to see it right? We know she doesn’t baha If she does she’s pushing it down real hard since 4x01 and it’s coming out in other ways. I.e. this moment. It’s so funny how lost in her bet she is. Doesn’t notice their hilarious reactions at all. I’m dying haha.

Tim tries again to have a frank conversation with Jerry. Since it’s day 2 of him riding with him and he was supposed to retired by yesterday... Jerry looks at the file again while Tim tries to muster up the courage. It's then he has an epiphany. Says he knows where the gold is. Tim asks if he’s sure? Jerry replies absolutely.

Now Tim’s first thought isn’t yes we solved the case. Or they got redemption for Jerry and his friend who never found the coins. No it’s excitement he’s going to beat Lucy in a bet LOL Man is amped about beating her to it. Like a high he’s been chasing the entire episode. God I love this so much. Flirty idiots in love have no idea.

This next portion is their married moment of the episode. Lots of work flirts but this interaction is all married. They are so ridiculous and I love them for it. The trio have figured out where the treasure is through the poem. An underground subway system sitting beneath the city. One of the people that has been chasing this thing since the jump causes chaos once the trio arrive. He shoots the last person also going after it. He takes off Lucy and Harper leave Nolan with the wounded one so they can pursue him.

They find him and he starts running again. Out of nowhere Tim comes into the picture and uses that sexy forearm of his to clothes line the guy. Lucy is shocked and impressed all at the same time. Me too. *fans self* Asking how they got here so quickly? Tim tells them they were already down here. Lucy then asks if they found the treasure? Tim smirks and says they’re gonna find out. Walks them over to a hole with a suitcase in it.

The final competitive flirting begins. Tim immediately claiming victory for him and Jerry. Because that suitcase is holding the missing gold. Nyla fights him on it though. Saying they would’ve been here first, but they had a police matter to deal with. Tim scoffs and tells them good job but they still won LOL The absolute sass coming off this man.

Lucy backs Harper in agreement and doesn’t let Tim battle back. Sassy return fire with her cocky smirk. Then the ladies just decide it’s a tie LMAO That Tim gets no say in the matter. I love their body posture mirroring one another in this moment. Lucy leans towards Tim then Tim does the same when he's upset it's considered a tie.

I saw someone call Tim ‘Sargent Sore Loser’ for a parallel of this moment hahaha it’s pretty apt when he loses to his wife. I love it sfm. Lucy waving by then pointing at herself as they walk off is amazing. It's hilarious. It's decided it's over and there is nothing he can do about it. Their flirting was off the charts in this episode. It was wild. Their string of work flirts continue on. One of the themes of S4. It makes me so happy.

I do love this next part with Jerry. It’s very sweet. It shows Tim’s wonderful heart. He went into this trying to prove he could handle the rough convos. That he could dispatch people with the cold hard truth. When it came to it his empathy won out. I truly believe he’s always been a sensitive empathetic person. It's been at his core this whole time.

Talked about this before. Just got lost in the shuffle of everything he went through with Isabel. Lucy reawakened that part of him. Now he taps into it like he does anything else. That heart of his let Jerry go out in a much better way. It’s why he thanks Tim for it. He knew what was coming and appreciated Tim for indulging him one last time. It's so sweet I might have a cavity.

Jerry's send off is equally as lovely at the station. Ashley is there to help celebrate his retirement. They all do their radio tribute that is beautiful to watch tbh. Once everyone clears Tim ends up asking Ashley out. (boo) She says yes and he smiles BUT it was most definitely not a 'Lucy smile.' No one compares at all. It’s unreal how by a smile you can tell when it’s Lucy driven and when it’s not. This for sure was not. So ends another ep. Such a good one for them.

~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

The introduction to Ashley….how I dislike her so….just gotta make it to 5x05 and she’ll be gone LOL Was around longer than she should’ve been but we’ll get into when we hit s5 heh Also I’ll add more of why I don’t like her as the season progress in this rewatch. There is a reason he dates her IMO which I will also go over at some point as well.

I love any and all Lucy and Harper scenes we get . This one had loads. Amazing how they've bonded over the last 2 seasons. I love it so much. Them working on the riddle together at Lucy's place over beers. My heart. Watching them working this case together brings me joy. Hopefully we get more of this in s6. I need more Nyla/Lucy in my life.

Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. You all make me so happy ❤️ See you all in 4x07 :)

[pigeonpeach]

My Heart Calls Your Name

Nilou x gn eremite reader part 3

Summary: The week had gone by faster than expected. Now you must depart back to the desert. Although you had spent years in the desert, it doesn’t feel the same

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4 the end

Little warning for alcohol

“Well I was wrong.” Clear Water proudly proclaimed seeing you walking towards her and the rest of the tribe. They turned mildly surprised but hid it quickly. “So. How was your vacation? Just what you needed?” Clear water asked. You nodded.

“It was nice. I’ve learned alot culinary wise.” You said with a smile.

“So you didn’t spend time with that dancer lady?” Your matriarch teased. “Say wheres your mask at?” You searched your bags finding it missing. You must’ve left it with Nilou..

“Oh crap.” You sighed. ClearWater sighed.

“We have extra, here.” Pulling it from one of the bags. You dawned it on, obscuring your vision slightly but still able to see. There was something in your heart. Like a flower stuck in a tiny pot, eager to grow beyond the clay walls. But you knew it was for the best. You would get over it someday.

“You didn’t answer my question little chef, what did you do while you were gone?” The Matriach asked once more.

“Ah, well I helped her theatre group and tried some foods. I have new recipes to try now so I say it was nice.” You answered. She noticed your hesitation.

“You’re okay right?” She asked shooing the rest. They left to probably recount supplies and feed the sumpter beast. But Clear Water still glanced at you occasionally.

“W-why wouldn’t I be?” You asked confused.

“Well You seem disappointed. Like you wanted to stay there.” She answered. You gulped.

“I mostly miss getting to sleep on a mattress mostly.” You dismissed. She seemed unconvinced.

“Hopefully you didn’t soften too much. Its good to see you again.” She patted you on the shoulder, sending you off to held load the sumpter beast’s cargo. Now alone with your thoughts you couldn’t help but feel like every step and movement was harder. The Ribat is familiar, you’ve come here more times than you could count on both hands and toes. This job is what you’ve held for years now with no other change until now. But something felt disheartening to know you may never see Nilou again, her theatre team, the various dads you befriended who were equally enthusiastic with cooking as you. You felt the unrealistic desire to run right back to the city and look for Nilou, profess your love and let that determine your destiny. But its too late now.

“Hey!” Clearwater said catching your attention.

“Oh sorry.” You said facing her.

“Its fine, I was just asking you what the deal with that dancer lady is.” She sighed carrying a bundle of peppers and radishes. You felt confused, your tribe hardly ever brought vegetables. “Oh and I wanted to show you some veggies we got. I figured you must’ve been tired of the meats so I wanted to give you some variety.” You nodded.

“Thanks. And her name is Nilou.”

“Nilou. Oh yeah you told me about her, you spent alot of time with her didn’t you?” She asked casually, adjusting the straps on the Beast. You focused your attentions on scratching behind its head to help it relax, it grumbled in thanks as it leaned closer, giving Clear Water a better chance to reach the one open flap that bothered her.

“Yeah. She was great. She was friends with so many people. Everywhere we went she’d get like discounts and freebies because she knew the owners. Even got me a nice inn room for a reduced price.” You smiled. “I got to try lots of other foods too. Padisarah Pudding was my favorite. Unfortunately those ingredients are harder for us to get and maintain so I won’t be able to cook it.”

“Sounds tasty. What was she like?”

“Lovely.. i-i mean her dancing was lovely. I helped her theatre group and had dinner with them lots, they were all so welcoming and nice. Nilou made sure I never overworked myself though. She even taught me to dance.” You smiled reminiscing.

“Really? So I’m guessing it didn’t work out?” She asked. You paused looking at her directly. You thought about denying it, but at this rate you knew it was true. It seemed like everyone knew anyways, there was no use in denying it.

“I- uh… never told her. I just… didn’t have the courage.” You said quietly. The sumpter beast grumbled wanting more scratches to which you obliged.

“You should’ve. You need too actually.” She said quieter as well. She picked up more bags to slide on-top of the beasts.

“Well I can’t anymore. She couldn’t come to see me off so unless I want to delay our leave I can’t tell her now.” You said.

“Send a letter. If you never tell her then you’ll always be wishing for her. At least if she rejects you then you’ll feel better about your decision here.” She said. She had a point. That idea seemed interesting actually.

“You know.. I’ll do that. Do you have a paper?” You asked. She smiled pulling out some.

“How do you do it?” You asked curiously. Nilou looked up. At you. She was adjusting the straps on her legs when she seemed to get a idea. You met up with her early, maybe too early. There’s no one else in the Theatre here yet, and few people in the area altogether.

“Ooh do you want to learn to dance?” She asked.

“Well maybe not completely.. I’m just a little curious” your posture stiffened.

“Well I could show you.” She smiled, by now you knew she was eager to do so. “I sometimes give lessons to kids, so I assure you I’ll be a good teacher.” You sighed.

“Alright.” You said. Steeping out onto the empty stage. All props were in storage currently. There was minimal people out now, they were more focused on setting their stalls up. You took a deep breath getting closer.

“Alright, lets start with some stretching exercises.” She said. “First lets touch our toes, you don’t have to reach it, just bend down and do your best.” Her voice was encouraging, you felt a little embarrassed in this position, but she was doing it with you, so you felt less silly. It felt strenuous but nice to stretch our your hamstrings. “Then you’re going to cross your arms like this.” She demonstrated by crossed her left arm across her body, pointed straight in the other way, her other harm pressed it closer to her chest. You followed, feeling the stretch, swapping hands as she did. “Alright lets start with something easy.”

Dancing with Nilou felt so natural. You watched her carefully and tried to mimic every step and even bend in her limbs, every turn and even her relaxed but neutral expression.

“You know, your friend isn’t too bad actually.” A sudden voice interrupted, causing you to seize up and almost fall if Nilou hadn’t caught your arm in time. It was just a friend of hers, the costumer for the theatre group.

“I know right. I feel like if we just changed their wardrobe they’d be perfect.” She smiled. You immediately stiffened.

“Eh its not worth it. I’m not that good too perform.” You immediately dismissed. They chuckled.

“Practice makes perfect. Enough time and you might become more admired than miss Nilou.” She teased. You felt a bit saddened.

“Oh well.. I don’t really have that time. I’m only on vacation after all.” You corrected. She seemed a bit embarrassed at that correction.

“Oh right, sorry I forgot. You just fit in so well I forgot you would be leaving soon.” She said. “Oh could you two help carry the costume rack up here? I can’t do it alone.”

“I’ll do it, you can keep practicing Nilou.” You said. Heading down the stairs to the costume rack. Nilou watched from afar. Her smile faded once your gaze was elsewhere.

“You’ve really gotten attached haven’t you?” The woman whispered to her. She nodded.

“I can’t help it. Keep it secret though, I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.” Nilou whispered. While you focused on steadying the rack with another member who came over.

“Tonight was our most successful performance yet!” The manager declared. The troupe applauded and cheered as they had stopped mid wrap up to enjoy the news. You meanwhile observed them, smiling as you were holding the ladder for someone currently. “This calls for celebration! Once we’re done here I’ll cover anyone’s tab at the tavern, just don’t go too crazy.” You felt intrigued. You hadn’t had any liquor or anything since your vacation started. Now might be a nice time to enjoy it. You also were curious to see what Nilou was like drunk.

“Sounds great!”

“Well lets get to work then!” Chatter began as people congratulated each other, Nilou mingling somewhere in the crowd while you helped the lady down.

“You’ve been a good help here. You should visit whenever you get the chance.” She smiled. “Of course if you ever want to retire from your current job then we’d be happy to welcome you aboard!” You were surprised at that. Slightly tempted to.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” You said. After helping her package things up you walked over to Nilou who seemed ecstatic. She had a bunch of flowers in her hands. Bouquets from fans and friends likely.

“Thank you so much for your help. I really can’t thank you enough. You’re heading to the tavern right? Maybe we could go together I hear the foods great I’ll even pay for dinner as thabks-“ she cut herself off as she blushed embarrassed. “Ah sorry! I didn’t mean to say that all so fast. I’d just been rehearsing it in my head for so long.” She sheepishly admitted as she slowed her breath. You felt confused but intrigued.

“I wouldn’t mind that no. How soon will you be heading there?” You asked.

“Soon, i just gotta give these flowers to everyone. Oh heres yours! A gift of gratitude!” She smiled as you took the bouquet. This was the first bouquet you had gotten ever. Genuinely you had never received flowers beforehand. You paused admiring the flowers as she anxiously analyzed your expression. You were lost in thought as you felt your heart swell even more than possible. You never felt this appreciated, this welcomed and this loved. You couldn’t stop the big smile on your face.

“Thank you.. so much Nilou. I-i really an glad I came here.” You stammered. Your reaction calmed her slightly.

“Your welcome. Oh I really should give the others their flowers, then we can head out!” She excitedly said, dashing off. You heard a chuckle from behind. You turned to see the costumer.

“You know, she doesn’t do this normally right?” She asked.

“She doesn’t?” You asked confused. She nodded in confirmation. “Then why would she?”

“Well she probably wanted a excuse to give you a bouquet. But you didn’t hear that from me.” She smiled cheekily as she walked away. You watched Nilou handing out the bouquets, the reactions were indeed a mix of surprise but confusion. This was indeed out of the normal. The idea that she went this far to give you this made you blush. You wished you had your mask on now to hide it.

That night at the tavern had been eventful. You had struggled to hear Nilou properly as she had a softer voice.

“This place is really noisy huh?” She said nervously.

“Do you not come here often?” You asked. “Taverns are always noisy at nights like this.”

“I figured. I guess you’re used to this kind of environment.” She played with her hair, you wondered if she was blushing or if it was just the early signs of drunkenness coming in.

“Definitely. Hopefully a fight doesn’t break out. That’s when things really get loud.” You commented. Another round of wine was passed to your table, the other adults chatting amongst themselves. You noticed none of them tried to chat with Nilou, you wondered if for a second they’d plan that so she could spend time with you. You also noticed nilou tried to mimic your pace at drinking. You really enjoyed the cocktail you had ordered. The sweetness of sunsettias and bitterness of wine was addictive. You felt more at ease. “You know this one time, this couple of eremite dudes got in a huge fight. Well we thought they were fighting, turns out it was a really weird make out session. I guess they were so drunk they forgot about basic decency. Anyways found out later that the other proposed that night. Think they’re still together.” Nilou seemed interested in that story, or she was just staring at your face.

“That’s wild. Do eremites fight alot when drunk?” She asked, her voice a little slurred. You smiled, the tensuon in your body had faded at this point.

“Certainly. We fight for fun sometimes when sober, but that’s like coordinated and not as extreme. You know it has rules like no making the other bleed and no weapons and such. Its just to help the two get stronger. But when they’re drunk its a problem. Friendly spars turn into vicious fights. Its not uncommon for eremites to get banned actually. We have to limit ourselves usually or the bartender may have us kicked out at the first sign of rowdy behavior.” You giggled.

“Wow. I rarely see fights here. Sometimes you see students getting into quarrels but that’s hardly entertaining.”

“Figured, its just a bunch of nerds arguing over formulas I bet.” You chuckled, she laughed along.

“Probably. Have you ever been hit on at a tavern before?” She asked. Even in your relaxed, not too drunk but still inebriated state did you feel surprised.

“Eh not much.” You shrugged. She seemed surprised.

“Really?! But you’re so pretty!” She said, her hands suddenly reaching out to hold your face. You felt your heart jump as she looked right into your eyes. You had never been called pretty before. “Or handsome..or beautiful.. you’re just attractive is what i mean! Like your eyes are so striking, it feels like a crime that you wear a mask to hide them!” She was definitely drunk now. But you knew drunk people were reflections of people’s true feelings and thoughts. That fact only made you even more flushed.

“Y-you think so? No one has ever called me that.” You responded, still not pushing her off of you. You wouldn’t let her go further than that. You weren’t a one night stand kind of person.

“Really? What is wrong with the people you’ve met!” She giggled, moving her hands she scooted closer to you and laid her head on your shoulder. “You’re perfect to me.”

“You think so?” You asked. If you were a dog your tail would be wagging, like a feral wolf that just learned how wonderful it felt to be petted and praised. Its like she was domesticating you, if you were sober you would fear getting too used to her sweet and affectionate personality, but you hardly could even remember what number your refill was at.

“I know so. You have such big muscles! Such a gentle temperament and not to mention how patient and hardworking you are.” She giggled. “Its not just the wine talking too, though I’m sure if it could talk it would agree with me.” You laughed at that joke.

The night had continued with laughter and random face touches and muscles squeezing from Nilou, your hands kept to yourself until you had to walk her home.

“You know the way back to your house right?” You asked, your hand supporting her by her waist as her hand was slung over your shoulders. You noticed a sudden boost of confidence in her eyes.

“Can I sleep at your place? I don’t want you to have to walk home alone afterwards.” She said. “Since you’re drunk too.. i don’t want anyone takin ‘vantage of you.”

“I only have one bed though.” You didn’t really mind, you were just nervous about things progressing from there. You weren’t ready for that and nor did you want it to be while drunk.

“Its okay I’ll sleep on the floor or something.” She smiled. You obliged eventually.

The door swung open as you now carried her, she had been too drunk to make it up the stairs. Holding her bridal style, you carried her to the bed. She giggle while playing with your hair.

“Its sooo soft.. i can’t believe it! How do you keep it so silky and smooth!” She said.

“Just some good ol oils and brushing.” You laid her down, tucking her in as you collected a few pillows and started to make a makeshift bed on the floor, dragging out your sleeping bag from your job and laying it out. “Alright now get to sleep. I’m sure you’ll be plenty of busy tomorrow-WOAH!” You were yanked into bed by a surprising strength coming from the drunken Nilou. The bed was small so she practically climbed ontop of you, laying her head on your chest as she smiled.

“Night night.” And like that she was out. Your face was all red for sure. But you couldn’t help but enjoy it slightly. You weren’t sure why Nilou was so touchy and affectionate. Love seemed like the obvious but least likely in your mind. Deep down, drunk or not, you found it hard to believe someone could love you. But her hands around you, gradually shifting to spooning, her holding you… you let yourself enjoy it knowing it’d likely be the last time you would feel this way.

That night you slept better than any drunken sleeps before.

The night in the desert felt different now. You were on guard as you watched the horizon and distance carefully. Nothing but foxes looking for lizards too hunt. You remembered suddenly how it felt to be held, to be the little spoon. How it felt to be loved and to love. You doubted she’d ever write back. You doubted you could ever show your face now that the letter was sent. You felt your chest tighten. A undoubtable longing inside for her. Your heart called her name, your exposed and scarred skin longed to be held and touched by her, your ears craved to hear her voice, and your eyes wished to see her smile once more. You were in love, how horrible. The sand felt like shards of metal now, the once familiar terrain seemed so bland and empty. But there was comfort in it, the familiarity of it. You wondered how soon you could return to the Ribat, and if you could catch sight of her once more…

But that letter.. you knew in your heart if you she reciprocated then… then what? Would you give up your life you had lived all these years, that you had been so accustomed to and raised for, all for her? Would it be worth it in the end? Would it be a mistake or the best decision in your life?

[6leggedhorse]

Everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

I haven’t posted all week like I should’ve and I’m here to say why. I want to start this off by saying that Uni isn’t easy for some people, for me it’s easy usually. However with an internship twice a week sandwiched in between that makes it a little harder, and that’s okay, I can do it. Now that I’m taking a personal day on Fridays, this will improve my mental health and only working twice a week may not be what I wanted but it’s what I needed. However school has gotten harder, I am in a group for one of my classes and they’re involved in sports. That’s great, nothing wrong with that at all, but the issue is that they’re doing everything last minute and giving me very little time to do my part as well as very little information.

There’s no consistency in our communication; I wanted to get a head start and complete the first project early, all things considered, I considered everyone’s schedules and thought if we got this done early, it’s gonna be less stress for everyone. But unfortunately, they don’t think the same way, and putting me in a time crunch to get stuff done isn’t something I’m comfortable and okay with. For the first project, I got one set of notes for a bit and then the other two and I didn’t perspectives or any more details so my ability to write, which I know I’m good at, wasn’t put to good use and potential. So for this project they were doing the same thing, and quite frankly I was and still not happy about it. At this time a bit before I began to take Fridays off, I began to get stressed out even more. I put off studying a midterm and paper for a social work class.

I felt so overwhelmed and loaded, I got so stressed out and angry, I felt like I was being put into a position where I didn’t matter and neither did my mental health. So I found a last minute solution to our project, we needed to go to a specific event for our class project. And they waited until and I mean UNTIL the very last minute on last week, no one communicated. I didn’t say anything for this project because I wanted to be flexible and allow them to address it because last time on the first day of school, I sent the first text in our group chat asking when to get the first project started and shocker, no said anything until it was due the last possible second. So for this project I crowd sourced more events and information on social media, they wanted to play last minute bull crap again and I was not having it.

I feel as though my boundaries have been crossed soon after the post, I got comments on events AND I emailed my professor letting him know what was going on. He told me not to work with them this one time and submit it on my own which I will be doing in parts today (ADHD-I makes it difficult to focus.) hence why I NEED to get a head start on things to not get to this point. I don’t mind small assignments but this is big, and when I get overwhelmed I procrastinate because an amalgamation of unfinished projects is incredibly overwhelming and scary I just avoid it. So they began to complain over the group text and I unplugged from it to take time to think and care for myself. I have yet to open the texts, for now, my sanity matters, they don’t get to ruin how my day goes.

So, you may not hear from me for a hot second so please try to be patient, and on top of all this I have a shitty mentor in the place I intern at. She is just so rude and talks down to me and my fellow interns, and my mentor herself increases my anxiety, it’s getting to a point where I’m ✨depressed✨. Next seminar I will be talking to my Liaison and finding a new group to work with. This sucks because I love writing on here, I love writing in general, it’s so therapeutic to me but school comes first. I will let yall know when I come back. Which hopefully by next Monday I will be, things get worse before they get better I need to roll with the punches and chaos, if there is any I trust, it’s Loki that’s for damn sure.

[lachelledavies-winchester]

"Hi, I have a friend who is not doing well, he just won't tell me what the problem is and I'm ten hours away so I can't physically threaten him to get him to talk."

"I don't think that's enough to get him to confess."

"How about I send you audios of me singing until you quit?"

"I say from a distance you don't know how to threaten people at all, honey."

"Good thing I don't work for a collection agency," she tried to make him laugh. "Speaking of work, what are you guys up to with the case?"

"It was a crossroads demon, the same one who gave Becky a love potion that she used to frame that idiot Sam."

"Hmm, 'idiot Sam'; code red: Sam is the problem."

"There's no problem, I'm fine."

"All right, and when are you two coming back?"

"Let's finish the week. Las Vegas week has been a tradition for us for years..." he slowly lowered his voice, as if he was no longer convinced.

"I'll leave you to your programs. Will you just let me say hello to Sam?" she pressed on, sensing more and more of the situation.

"Um, yes, only today he locked himself in his room because that's how the day went."

"Are you going to decide to talk, or do I have to remind you that because of you I don't even have fingernails made for economy?" she pressed and heard him snort.

"Sam doesn't need me anymore, he's a grown man, and I don't know what to identify with if I can't be the big brother who takes care of him."

They strolled, she among the trees in the woods and he on the wide sidewalks among the people enjoying the bustling life of the neon city.

"The fact that he is doing well on his own shows that you have been a good brother."

"Now what should I do?"

"Sell one of my trinkets and rent a motorcycle and take a ride, take a moment and enjoy freedom while you can. Take a newspaper and a towel and lie on the shore and sunbathe. Dress well and go down and eat quietly by yourself in a restaurant, have you ever done that?"

"You're talking a load of crap."

"You can't help anyone unless you're okay with yourself first, and what better time than when your brother thinks he can manage without you?"

"So you think he will need me again?"

"Sam will always need you and you know it. Is there someone selling ice cream near you?" 

The colorful lights of the city that varied shapes and colors along with the buzz of passengers on one side, while the hooting of owls and the white light of the moon illuminated the forest on the other. They loved the simplicity of their talk, the freedom to express themselves as naive boys when life did not ask them to be adults.

"I would have liked to have traveled more, nothing in particular; shoot, go to the beach, maybe get an ice cream alone," he joked and they laughed together.