#i know it’s not an easy time of year for lots of us for many reasons

[riacte]

Been thinking about HC fan discussion shifting over the last few years to become more focused on individual creators, and I think the reduced prominence of the Recap could be a contributing factor?

Speaking from my own experience as having gotten into HC in Season 6 along with Grian, I started watching Recap from the S6 Day One video (I was already familiar with the concept thanks to Evo in a Nutshell, which was openly inspired by HC Recap, so it was easy for me to get into), and it was really formative for getting to know all the hermits and HC in general.

I think it ties into what you said about engaging with the server as a whole, because even if you don't watch every hermit, with Recap you get to learn their names, hear their voices, and get exposed to their personality, projects, interests, and running jokes. It presented HC as an interconnected community, where all the hermits came together to create a collective art piece (the server itself). That sense of community has always been one of my favourite things about HC tbh

Recap also made it much easier for me to get into new hermits throughout s6/s7, bc I was already loosely familiar with who they were and what they were doing, so I could jump in midway through their season, or watch a one-off episode, without being too lost!

Meanwhile, with lots of people getting into HC through Life Series (and likely not being exposed to Recap), I think it's easy for people to just... stick with people they already know? And I don't blame anyone for watching people they like (time/energy for videos is limited, and plenty of my favourites are in Life Series too), but it also feels bad to see the work of so many hermits go unappreciated in their own community, especially when there was more of an effort to include them in the past :(

We need a new wave of Recap appreciation posts I think

I think this is very true. Lots of people just regurgitate Life series povs to people asking on the Reddit who to watch when you could just do Recap and didn’t they make a whole flowchart of who to watch? (Outdated but still a useful reference)

Unironically we need to bring back 2021 level of propaganda. Like whole posts on Hermitcraft propaganda that introduce all the listed hermits and their uniqueness. Sure, everyone has preferences, but they brand themselves as a server, so we should also brand them as a server. I do find it realllyyyyy weird that this phenomenon got worse after HC9 when HC9 had TCG (includes all hermits and “quirks” about them) and Decked Out (huge event that involved many hermits, including non Lifers). The hermits are literally producing merch as a server. It’s a game that appreciates each of them. The audience loves TCG too so ?? ??????

Another thing is that for me, sometimes I feel like I’m yelling into the void with my posts so I end up in a circle of people who main the same people (since we interact and talk to each other) and I don’t have the energy to do more because again, yelling into the void sucks. So I’m also part of the “problem”.

[novacorpsrecruit]

@skidspace thank you for sharing this lovely piece!!! Oh my god this is so good!!!

Context: missing scene from part 3 of this

———

Hello! I was the anon that mentioned writing an extra scene involving Trick. I ended up adding more to it as I started writing and editing. Again I’m not much of an author so I apologize for any mistakes or confusing parts but I hope you enjoy!

Thanks again for the wonderful story that inspired this

~~~~~~

Steve had to wipe his eyes before he dared to leave the bathroom.

Eddie’s letter was… a lot to take in. He’d be lying if he said the apology didn’t feel good. Hell he’s been yearning for one ever since that last night he saw Eddie.

Even so, it didn’t make that initial hurt go away. Nothing had. Not the time away, not the idea of moving on. Nothing could fill the chasm that used to be filled with Eddie’s love. To know that Eddie was hurting to? It didn’t make him feel any better.

After what Steve deemed enough time to compose himself and not look like a total wreck in front of the customers, he carefully folded the letter back into his apron and left the bathroom. He must’ve been in there longer than he thought because Trick’s booth was now empty.

Steve sighed and thought to himself, he’s still on the clock so he might as well actually do his job. And went to go clear off the table.

As he stacked the dishes and cup a with practiced ease, Steve noticed something amongst the mess. It was a napkin with the words “Rock on, Steve!” written in the corner, and crudely drawn doodle of a hand making the devil horns sign in black ink. Next to the napkin were a few crumpled bills and some change, plenty to cover the cost of Trick’s meal and a tip.

Steve felt his eyes start to well up again. Dammit, he can’t handle this much emotional whiplash in just one 5-hour shift. First Eddie’s letter and now a guy he honestly thought hated his guys was taking the time to apologize and be genuinely kind to him.

Steve set the dishes back on the table and just stared at the napkin note, but he was taken out of his spiral by a loud “Are you kidding me?!” coming from the front of the diner followed by the sound of someone slapping glass.

He peaked around the corner of the booth only to see none other than Trick staring at the ancient pinball machine they kept in the waiting area like it had just insulted his mother.

Steve however, couldn’t help but laugh, which caused Trick to finally break eye contact with the offending contraption and whip his head around. At first, he had a nasty scowl on his face that Steve was SURE many a jock at Tricks own high school had experienced. But once he saw that it was Steve and realized the laugh wasn’t a mocking one, his scowl turned into a cheeky smirk with too much teeth showing, but was friendly nonetheless.

He turned and fully faced Steve.

“Your machine is busted, dude.” He said, slapping the glass top of the pinball machine once again.

“I don’t know man,” Steve surprised himself with how easy he found a joke tone to his words, “I’ve seen a few 10 year olds absolutely destroy the high score on that thing. I think this is just a user issue.”

“Oh fuck off.” Trick’s smile grew wider with the jest, only to be followed by someone loudly clearing their throat. Steve and Trick both turned their heads to see Jenny with her arms crossed and brows furrowed, gaze pinned on Trick.

The other man’s face fell from jovial to a harden nonchalance. Steve recognized the change all too well from when people would give Eddie a hard time in public back home. Like Eddie, the shift in Trick looked well-practiced.

Trick put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and cleared his throat, looking back at Steve once more. “I should probably get going, but uh- could I ask you something first?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Is Eddie doing okay?”

Steve felt a pit form in his stomach at the question. He really didn’t want to air out everything that happened between him and Eddie with a guy he had JUST gotten on friendly terms with.

“W-what do you mean?” He settled on.

Trick gestured up towards his face.

“It’s just that no one has seen him at a party since the night he rocked my shiiii-“ his eyes flick over to where Jenny was still glaring, “I mean, since he called me out for how we were treating you.”

“I, um,” Steve’s hand reflexively went to the letter in his apron, “I don’t really know. I haven’t seen him in…a while.”

Something in how Steve had said that must’ve tipped Trick off to the situation, even just a little. His face took on a concerned look.

“Oh. Well, if you see him or talk to him soon, can you tell him I’m sorry?”

“For what?”

“For driving him away too. Even without the whole ‘boyfriend thing’, for people like us - people like Eddie - it’s hard to find a place that will accept you for who you are, let alone make you feel welcomed. We shouldn’t have made him feel like he had to be one thing or that he had to hide an important part of his life.”

Steve was silent , standing there contemplating the potential of all that might have happened to Eddie since he walked out of their apartment and never came back. Putting the pieces he had together, it seemed that Eddie had not only punched one of his cool new metal friends for Steve’s sake, but had completely stopped hanging out with his all of his cool new metal friends after they bad mouthed Steve to Eddie’s face. Steve was always under the impression that Eddie had known about the ridicule Trick and his friends subjected him to. But he either just didn’t know the severity of it all, or he didn’t care enough to come to Steve’s defense.

Steve was starting to think that was wrong.

Why didn’t Eddie say any of this in his letter? Would it have made the situation better? Would Steve have believed him if he hasn’t just had this whole eye opening apology and conversation with Trick?

The thought threatened to tip his emotions over the edge again so he shook his head a bit, desperate to clear his thoughts

He finally replied, “I’ll tell him.”

Some of Trick’s toothy smile retuned to his face. “Thanks Steve.” He then threw up the devil horns with his right hand and turned to leave.

As he walked away, Trick turned his head one last time to say “I get it if you don’t wanna come back, but I hope I’ll see you around.”

The bell above the door jingled as it was opened, then closed, and then Trick was gone.

-

Steve had to take a few deep breathes before he went back and finished clearing out the booth. Upon returning to behind the counter, Jenny slid up to him with her arms crossed again.

“God, I thought he’d never leave. That guy didn’t give you a hard time, did he?”

Steve didn’t mean to, but a bitter tone slips into his voice.

“No, Jenny. He didn’t.”

Jenny huffed.

“Good, cuz you never know with those types. They always look like they’re gonna-“

“Just because he looks mean and scary doesn’t mean that’s how he really is! You can’t just judge people like that Jenny!” Steve snapped and instantly felt bad for it. The wide-eyed look Jenny was giving him only made it worse.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“No, you’re right. I mean, yeah the yelling was a little rude, but I shouldn’t judge someone just by how they look or dress,” Jenny shrugged, “I mean just look at Rob. He dresses like a dorky pencil pusher who wouldn’t hurt a fly but you and I both know he packs the meanest left hook when the day drunks get too handsy.”

Steve couldn’t help but let out a loud belly laugh at that. God, he really does love working a shift with Jenny.

-

Steve normally took the bus back to Robin’s dorm after work, but the weather was nice enough and his head was full enough that he decided he needed the walk. There were just too many things that happened today he had to work through.

First there was Eddie’s letter and apology, then Trick’s appearance and apology. Those two things alone were enough for one day. But there was also something else. Something Trick said combine with how he acted, how others had acted towards him, that Steve couldn’t get out of his mind.

“For people like Eddie, it’s hard to find a place that accepts you for who you are, let alone makes you feel welcomed.”

Now Steve knew that most of the crowds he ran with back in Hawkins couldn’t be counted as good friends. But he never entered a group of people and felt unwelcomed. He didn’t have people scoff at him or shuffle away when he entered a room. The only time he felt truly ostracized in high school was the time between Billy Hargrove showing up and meeting Robin after graduation. And even then he may not have been welcomed in his old social circles, but when he walked into a room his presence was at least accepted. After graduation most people he knew stopped caring about the petty high school bullshit anyway, save for Billy himself and a select few of his crownies. He had real friends by then. And eventually, he had Eddie.

Eddie who had always been the one that people would stare at like he was going to sacrifice their dogs to Satan at any minute.

Eddie who knew that there wasn’t a place for outcasts like him, so he MADE a place where other kids could feel safe.

Steve thought back on that first day walking into school after Billy had fully deposed him from his title of King Steve. He had felt hundreds of eyes on him as he walked down the hallway, but at the same time he had never felt more alone.

Steve now wondered if that was the feeling Eddie had dealt with his whole life while living in Hawkins.

The idea made him feel…different about Eddie’s actions these past couple months.

Of course, those actions still caused hurt. And after many late-night tearful discussions with Robin, Steve knew he didn’t deserve to be treated that way, that he had deserved better.

But…

But maybe Eddie hadn’t done it because he was ashamed of Steve, or because he didn’t care about how Steve felt.

Maybe…maybe Eddie just couldn’t believe he had found a place that welcomed him because of who he was, not despite it.

He had told Steve as much about their own relationship after they started officially dating. Eddie joked that he couldn’t believe his interests and quirks were what Steve called positives instead of dealbreakers. Steve had laughed along with him at the time. Now the thought broke his heart.

Steve was tired of things breaking his heart. He was tired of licking his wounds, and he was tired of hiding in Robin’s dorm.

Steve had changed his mind about walking. He located the nearest bus stop.

After all, his and Eddie’s apartment was on the other side of town.

Steve had a letter he needed to respond to in person.

[nichoskittycorner]

Bad Dragon ( &Team Leaderz smut)

>> Its breeding season for the highland dragons and Euijoo is still struggling after several attempts over the years. Having never even been touched before, hes wondering how he'll make it through, especially after being rejected by just about every dragon there is. Calling in a huge favor from a senior dragon and friend, Fuma, hes ready to learn the ropes.

>> Threesome (Euijoo x reader xFuma), oral sex, virgin!Euijoo, Dragon!Fuma ,Dragon!Euijoo, size kink, bulging, creampies, lots of cum, y/n is a proud monstefucker (yes that's important), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slight breeding kink, Euijoo is also massive loser energy and says stupid things-dont mind him,

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: I'm back on my monsterfucker bullshit! >:D. Okay so this was actually an old ass draft I didn't finish for some reason for months but it's completed now. I hope you enjoy this dumpster fire

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mating season for dragons was a difficult time, especially for the inexperienced. There was an entire ritual, presentation, dance and then the actual act of mating itself-

Unfortunately for Euijoo, a young dragon, he was bad at all of it. He could never get the ritual right, his hoard was never glamorous enough to impress a mate, he tripped up the dance and lord knows actual mating was out of question. Hell he was practically scared of it.

All of his attempts to charm any female dragon was met by many reactions. Cooing at his pitiful attempts, cringing in disgust, shaking their heads in pity- hes seen it all. He was ready to give up after several years of trying.

Euijoo wasnt an ugly or weak dragon either. In his dragon form, he had a strong but lean frame. His scales are a lovely shade of royal blue that would catch anyone's eye. His eyes were a dazzling gold and held a warmth not many dragons held.

His human side had an almost opposite appearance. He was round in the face- his squishy cheeks, large eyes and soft smile were adored. But only in the way that little kids loved their brothers and grandmas loved their grandkids. Even with his little horns and the few patch of scales every dragon showed, he was still so soft in appearance.

In dragon society, his softness was seen as weakness. Even if he was a killing machine, mates wouldnt be easy to attract with his softness. As a result hes failed at attracting a mate successfully.

He was getting desperate at this point, so he went to the only person he knew could help, Fuma. A mentor and friend hes known for centuries.

Fuma was an older silver dragon. Strong, fierce and quite the gentleman. He knew the ins and outs of courting and had helped many a young desperate dragon. Not just with mating but he was a sweet dragon who loved helping people.

Euijoo had met Fuma after one of these failed attempts in the past. Embarrassed and dejected, Euijoo was sulking under a willow tree- gnawing on a branch to stop myself from biting his own tongue in frustration.

Maybe he could accept that this rejection was his fault- his treasure was a pretty small collection, it makes sense. He could try later after growing it! His little cave could use a bit of redecorating while he was at it!

But he quickly fell back into his sulking when he accounted that he had done this over 100 times. The branch between his lips snapping into pieces as he clamped his jaw down.

A low growl emitted from him before it melted into a groan. Leaning back onto the trunk of the grand tree. Kicking his shoes off before picking up another lone branch.

His branch biting streak ended with the arrival of an unexpected guest. In the distance, a beautiful silver dragon was looking for a place to rest after his flight.

Finding a lone and lovely willow tree, he circled it a few times from the sky before coming to a rest- wrapping his large body around the trunk.

The silver dragon stretched his wings and let out a great big yawn as he got comfortable. Resting his dragon head on his claws and closing his eyes.

Alas, his plan to sleep failed- disturbed by a squirming creature beneath his tail. He tried to ignore it but the squirming never stopped.

Lifting his tail, the dragon heard a loud gasp of air. Whatever was under there was clearly fighting for their life.

Red faced, shaky legged and rustled appearance, another dragon but still in his human form appeared from the other side of the tree.

Euijoo was beyond frazzled. One minute hes in his head under a peaceful tree and the next hes being suffocated by a scaly dragon tail. He was almost certain he would die but thankfully the bigger dragon got the hint and freed him.

"How?! Why?!"

The sight was ridiculous. Euijoo was tall by human standards but next to this large beast, he just size of a mere child. So him yelling and flaining around trying to scold the beast looked beyond outrageous.

Clearly the other dragon was amused by his antics. Chuckling in a way only a dragon with many years could before shifting back into a human state.

A man a bit shorter than Euijoo stood before him. He may be shorter but he was very fit and handsome (but so were all dragons). His eyes crinkled with a soft amusement and stuck his hand out to him. "Sorry about that buddy, are you okay?"

Euijoo was a little taken aback but shook his hand anyway. The handshake was firm but still kind. He nodded slowly as he continued to take in all aspects of the newcomer.

It was a silly meeting but that's how Euijoo and Fuma became friends. Fuma was clearly like the dad friend of the pair. Keeping Euijoo out of trouble and helping guide him through dragon life and all the little trials that came with it.

Euijoo was an adult dragon who could manage everything… well almost everything. A competent fighter, a skilled treasure hunter (somewhat), and even a kind neighbor- but Euijoo was a terrible lover.

He had the romantic competence of boiled eggs according to Fuma. It was attempted to be said lovingly but the point was missed.

Another failed mating attempt left the younger huffing in frustration, blowing a bit of fire as a result. Even as he lay on his pile of treasures, his spirits werent raised. Fuma even brought him a fresh goat to eat and he still whined.

"Euijoo, maybe we should try a different approach." The silver dragon tapped on his horn to get his attention, making the younger shiver.

"Different how?! I've tried everything I can think of and others ideas too! Maybe I'm destined to be a lone dragon!" He whined, picking up a golden necklace bedazzled in gems and woefully swinging it in between his fingers.

Fuma rolled his eyes and snatched the necklace away, tossing it aside. "Have you tried practicing? I got my start courting humans, it might work with you too!"

Euijoo sat up and said an eyebrow, his eyes stated doubt but his tail wagged enthusiastically. "Are you sure?"

"Of course- they're much easier to court and get in bed. You'll sharpen up your skills and humans dont mind causal mating interactions." Fuma's confidence in this method oozed through every aspect of him. How could he say no?

So, with a hope in his heart- he would give this one more shot…

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

In order to blend in with humans, Euijoo and Fuma had to hide their dragon features. So they just resembled very tall and handsome humans.

The two had turned up at a club, a casual place to meet strangers. That and Euijoo could excuse his odd behavior on alcohol. Bright lights, loud music and the smell of sweat and cheap perfume filled the air.

Except Euijoo was already shaking, eyes darting around as his palms sweat. Fuma patted his back to try and ease his nerves. "Ju… relax. If you look like you'll pee your pants, no one is going to want to talk to you."

He nodded and took a deep breath- before he hiccuped and a puff of smoke left his mouth. Slapping his hands over his mouth to cover it up and burned red in the face.

Fuma groaned and pinched his brow. "That's not relaxing. Here, just go up to that girl over there and start a conversation." Fuma pointed to a lone girl relaxing by a bar, a fancy looking cocktail in her hands.

With his support, Euijoo wiped his hands and stood up straight. He fixed his hair and marched on over to her. Remembering all of Fuma's tips, he leaned against the counter and stood close but not too close to the stranger.

His presence caught her attention. His pretty face made her eye him up and down- a smirk growing on her lips.

"Well hello there pretty sir- who might you be?" She leaned in, fluttering her eyelashes as she looked at him.

From behind, Fuma had ordered a simple drink to look busy and support Euijoo from behind. So far, he was doing great! A great approach, confident posture- all he had to do was keep going-

"Would you like to do the mating ritual with me?"

Fuma choked and spat out his drink. That is NOT what they practiced?! He was so nervous he started to ramble his words- the girl was just as confused. Tilting her head and blinking as if she didnt hear him properly.

"I-Im sorry? What does that mean?"

"Ah that's the fun part! The mating dance, the presentation of the treasures, the - OW." Fuma hit him in the back with his elbow to shut him up.

"Oh, is this some type of furry thing?"

This was falling apart faster than a stone in the ocean.

"Furry? No I'm not furry-."

Fuma screamed into his hands and grabbed his friend- pulling him out of the club before he could say anything else.

Euijoo whined as his arms were yanked harshly. "Heeey- That was going so well Fuma! What happened?!"

"Well?! Euijoo you had her thinking you were a furry!"

" Not you too Fuma! We're scaly not furry! Maybe your drink was too strong."

Fuma groaned and started heading in the direction of another club. "Okay, let's try again… And stay away from the mating and furry talk."

Euijoo nodded proudly and followed behind Fuma.

If Fuma thought the first attempt was bad, he had no idea what he was in for. Somehow each attempt was a little worse than the last.

Even when Fuma kept trying to remind him to stop mentioning the dragon thing or the mating dance and whatnot he kept babbling about it. At some point, they had exhausted just about every option and sulked out around 3am.

Euijoo near tears at all his failed attempts and Fuma ready to just make a bride for Euijoo at this point.

"How… how are you not able to flirt with humans and dragons?!" He was only met with a defeated shrug. Fuma sighed and tossed his arms around his shoulder, pulling him to his side as they continued to walk.

"Don't… Don't beat yourself up Ju. Theres someone out there willing to be with you!" He beamed and dragged him along until they ended up in an open park. Sitting down at a lone bench and taking in the night air to reevaluate.

Euijoo sat back and looked up towards the dark sky. He wanted to keep up hope but it felt like it was waning. Would he really be alone forever? Was he really not made for anyone else?

His eyes shut as he tried to hold back the tears. No there has to be! You cant give up hope yet Euijoo!

His little pep talked continued until he noticed Fuma tense near him and a new scent arrive. It was sweet and yet very calming. Making his eyes peel open to meet a bizarre sight.

A pretty girl was staring down at him. Oddly close to his face and blinking with eyes full of wonder. "Woah, hello! You're so cool looking!"

Cool looking?! Euijoo sat up and stared in confusion at this girl, his face burning red at the compliment. Who was she?? Where did she come from? And why was she so close to him?

"Oh um, thank you! I'm uh Euijoo by the way." Euijoo smiled as the strange girl sat in between them, forcing Fuma to scoot over to the end of the bench and peek over. The older leaning over so Euijoo could see his panicked expression.

"Eui-joo? Well I'm Y/N! Where did you get such a cool costume?" Y/N asked and did something he couldnt have expected. Tapping at his forehead exactly where his horn would be. Euijoo froze and tried to remain calm.

He was in disguise, there should be nothing visible! She didnt say anything to Fuma though, was it that his magic had slipped and revealed his original form?

Y/N continued to tap his forehead before trailing her fingers down his cheeks, running down his neck and peeking into his shirt. "This body paint is amazing too! What's your secret?"

Euijoo was frozen, worried how you were able to see his dragon markings beyond his disguise. But the hot chill that sparked from your touch was even more concerning. His brain had completely shut off and he stopped thinking.

"Um, you- me- mate? Mate ritual!-"

Fuma's eyes went wide as he started to make a 'cut it out' motion with his hand. He knew the younger was panicking and was about a few moments from another failed attempt.

But you didnt squirm, cringe or laugh at him. Instead your eyes lit up as he continued to ramble eventually breaking down into giggles. Euijoo shut his mouth after that. That had been the most normal reaction he had seen all night and was gearing up for another rejection.

"Mating ritual? Is that a funny way of telling me you have a breeding kink and want to fuck?"

Fuma's jaw dropped before quickly recovering and gesturing for Euijoo to chase this chance. Euijoo was still malfunctioning but tried his best to catch the signal. Taking your hands and looking into your eyes.

His body lighting up by an unknown energy all the while. "Are you saying… you want to be with me? Like, in bed?”

A giggle overtook his shy question. "Sure why not! Come on, I'll lead you to my place. You too Euijoo's friend!" The two weren't going to question it and followed you back home silently. Euijoo in a panic and Fuma trying to calm him down the whole time.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Once you all arrived back at your apartment, you wasted no time showing them to the bedroom. Euijoo never stopped shaking the whole time but he was determined.

"Alright, so let's get this started yeah?-" Your hand already reaching for the bottom of your shirt before Euijoo stopped you. Large hands took yours into his, his eyes sparkling at just the sight of you.

"Wait, let me do something first-" The dragon man blushed and tried to keep his composure. It seemed you were down for anything and agreed to let him lead the way. His face brightened up and his dragon tail wagged.

From behind him, you could see his friend staring into him. Almost pleading with him mentally about what he was doing.

But Euijoo didnt bother with Fumas burning gaze. Instead pulling up his bag and digging into it- pouring out the contents onto the bed.

Shiny golden treasures fell from the bag. Necklaces, crowns, bracelets, plates- just about anything he couldve fit in there, he had put in there. Fuma's jaw dropped as he watched Euijoo covering your sheets in the precious metal, jewelry and treasure. It was part of a dragons ritual to present the hoard or collection of goods but you weren't a dragon!

“Don't worry, I'm just gonna be a fucktoy with feedback, do as you please!” Euijoo said, sounding somewhat proud of his display but his face was burning up as his body shook slightly from nerves.

Fuma was ready to drag him out and apologize for this embarrassing display but instead you seemed fascinated. Eyes twinkling as he finished clearing out his bag.

Euijoo stood proudly (nervously) by the mess he made, his face still blushed as he waited for your response. Flattered but unsure of how he wants you to respond, you rested your hand on his shoulder and made him sit on the corner of the bed.

Giggling and kissing his cheeks before landing on his lips. He gasped, parting his lips and allowing you to deepen the connection. Pulling away after a moment to see his flustered reaction.

"Well, this is what you wanted, right?" Euijoo nodded eagerly and never broke eye contact. You took his hands and laid them on your hips, straddling his lap and ran your hands around his body.

“H-How did you know?” Euijoo managed to stutter out, as his body and mind were in some form of a meltdown. Here you were, touching him, inviting him in and even kissing him now!

“Well, from what I know about dragons, showing off gifts and a hoard is part of a mating ritual, right? Plus you just called yourself a fucktoy so I'm guessing that's your goal huh?”

Your fingers brushed against one of his horns, making him jump and accidentally moan a bit. The dragon almost apologized but your lips cut him off swiftly.

Just by the way he kissed you so softly made you smile. He was being so gentle with you but also, it made you curious. Pulling away again to not only see him still wearing his current state of mind on his face, but to feel him clearly getting riled up.

"Euijoo, have you ever been kissed before?" It was clear he had been found out. He was ready to deny and explain it off but his silence gave it away.

Oh he was just so cute! Your hands slid down his body, slipping under his shirt. His bare skin was cold and scaly underneath his clothes. It was fascinating just how much detail your fingertips were able to pick up.

You had only heard about dragons through the grapevine. Some believed they were real and others still convinced they were fully myth.

Despite being a full time dragon believer, this was your first time meeting one, well two! Normally, a humans reaction to meeting what was once thought impossible was to freak out or call the police.

But not you. Not only did this dragon man give off huge adorable loser vibes which was already cute to you; You were what they called a certified monster fucker. Only in theory though as you never had actually met a non human before.

Still- your treasure chest full of monster dildos and sleeves was all the evidence you needed for your dirty little secret.

So when you wandered into a man who's appearance screamed dragon along with his otherworldly aura, you had to take the chance. Like a moth to a flame, you wasted no time chasing your prize(s).

As you lead the kiss that quickly became heated, you let your body do more of the talking. Wrapping your arms around his neck and tangling your fingers into his hair. Grinding your hips into his already hardening cock.

Who knew just a little making out would rile him up so badly? He either had sensitive or virgin written all over him. Maybe there was a small part of you that found the idea of a human like you overpowering a cute dragon in bed super exciting. Corrupting his fantasy and frail understanding of what he was capable of.

Breaking up the kiss, you removed your shirt and pants, leaving you in your underwear before him. Doing a little 360 spin to show him your entire body, you took his hands and laid them on your hips. Letting them sit on your squishy flesh for a moment before trailing one up to your breast and let the other explore your thighs and ass.

Euijoo's face was completely red and he sounded like his breath wanted to stop coming out. That and the tiny puffs of smoke seeping from his mouth showed his emotions were heightened in a way he couldn't understand just yet.

“Do you like how this feels, my body? Are you ready to see it all?”

He nodded eagerly, making his first move by pulling you closer by the hips and tugging at your underwear and burying his face in your belly. His actions reminded you of a desperate puppy, especially as his nose was in your stomach and he was looking up at you with pleading eyes.

Before you could properly remove either, Euijoo's nails had elongated into claws and shred away the thin pieces of fabric. Leaving you completely bare and naked.

Your body was so gorgeous to him, so alluring and sexy. Just looking at you would be enough to make him lose his cool. Not like he had much to begin with.

“Hey, if I'm going to be naked, you've gotta join me-” You teased as you started to pull away at Euijoos clothing.

He was so excited and turned on, he clearly forgot Fuma was also in the room. Honestly, Fuma would be okay with that as long as Euijoo didnt mess this up.

He had seen and slept with his fair share of women before so he was doing okay. That was until you were stripped completely naked and bent down to help his friend undress, flashing your glistening pussy directly in his face.

Fuma could compose himself to remain still but the rush of pheromones and your scent of arousal was getting to him already. Making him cross his legs to stop himself for having an obvious boner at a time like this.

Once Euijoo was naked his worries faded away. He was here, he could do this! At least he thought so until you pushed his legs open and got on your knees.

His half dragon state was also stunning. Horns sticking out of his hair, silky skin bedazzled in patches of shiny and colorful scales leading to a thick tail and his wonderful dragon cock on full display. Large, scaly and ribbed along the top down to the very base.

Your stomach stirred in excitement. Youve had plently of practice, you could take him with a little prep. But first, you had to get a little taste of dragon.

Taking his tip into your mouth without warning and making him yelp, a tiny spurt of fire following along with it.

You could save your cooing for later, for now, you were going to have a little fun. Swirling your tongue around him and sinking him down your throat to see how far you could get. It took a little gagging but you were able to get his entire dick in.

Slowly pulling off before repeating the process, and earning a low moan from Euijoo. An unrestrained response to a pleasure hes never felt before. He couldn't tell if his body was heating up due to pleasure or embarrassment.

Neither mattered to you. Loosening your jaw before taking him back into your mouth at a quicker pace, using your hand to substitute when you werent taking him entirely in.

It had been less than a minute before Euijoo was panting like crazy, twitching and fumbling around odd sentences. He was trying to tell you that he felt something weird- It was both pleasurable but concerning because he felt like he was about to drop. His words didn't make it out in time before his body reacted and came.

Your only proper warning was the twitching of his cock in your mouth before the thick salty fluid filled up your mouth. Leaking out of your mouth and down your throat before you could comprehend fully what had happened.

Apologetic and embarrassed, Euijoo pulled out fully and started to speak clearly. “Oh my god I'm so sorry Y/n! I'm sorry I didn't think that would happen so quickly! Oh no I fucked up again ah, I'm sorry-”

You werent mad, only surprised by how fast and how much had come out. Coughing to clear out your throat so you could speak.

Fuma was honestly speechless. There was nothing he could say or do to remedy the situation. Maybe prepare romcoms and liquor back at home for when Euijoo sobbed about this failure too.

To the distraught dragons surprise, you waved off his apology as you caught your breath. “I'm not mad! You don't need to apologize, accidents happen. I assumed that would considering how new you were to this.”

“Wait, so you're not rejecting me now?”

“No? Plus, dragon cum tasted way better than I expected so no hard feelings times two.” You said in joking manner before changing the subject. Looking up, you could still see his dick was plenty hard. Dragging your finger up it's length and making him sigh.

“Looks like you still got some left in you. Are you ready for the main event?” You spoke in a low and sultry voice, standing up and trailing your hand up his body as you went.

“Uh, I uh-” Unknowing what to do, Euijoo looked to Fuma to help, who only gestured towards you with a “Don't look at me- And don't fuck this up!” expression.

Euijoo gave you a nod, not trusting his voice to reply in dirty talk.

Although it wasn't the most ideal, you knew he would probably enjoy this more if the treasure was still on the bed. Moving some of the more dangerous and fragile pieces aside before climbing onto the bed on all fours. Not meaning to, but facing Fuma, who was both watching attentively and absentmindedly. Once in position, you used one hand to spread your ass to invite him into you.

“Go on, it might be a little tight at first but I'll manage.” You were bursting with eagerness. This had to be a dream come true for you both.

But of course, Euijoo was overthinking something else. Your hole looked… a little small? There was no way he was fitting into your pussy when it didn't even look the size of his pinky.

His gaze found Fuma, who just gave him a thumbs up before he turned his attention back to you. Noting the eager look that Euijoo couldn't see as you were ready for this. Almost drooling in anticipation for this moment. He had to avert his eyes from you.

From behind, Euijoo took a deep breath before just following his instincts. He knew what to do, he shouldn't overthink this. Even if he messed up here, he never had to see you again if all went to hell.

Running a finger down your wet folds, he spread your lips to get a better view. Summoning all the confidence he could, he lined his tip along with your hole before letting his body do the rest and push in slowly.

Instantly the stretch was more than you expected, but along with the discomfort was the sweet pleasure as he pushed in further. Moving painfully slowly and allowing you to adjust as he moved. You expected the slight pain, it was always there until it melted away after you were soaked enough.

The texture of the ridges and ribs on his cock had your legs shaking so fast. “Are you alright Y/n? You're shaking.”

“Y-yes fuck, god just fuck me already!”

He wasn't completely assured but he couldn't stay still forever. Pulling his hips out before driving them back inside. Fully inserted and causing a slight bulge in your stomach.

Places you didnt even know could feel this level of pleasure were tingling as he picked up the pace, finding a steady rhythm to pull in and out to. Little cries and pleas of pleasure for more encouraged him to keep going.

His confidence grew, reaching over to grip your hips and pull you back slightly with every thrust. Lowering himself to kiss along your back as he plowed into you.

Your orgasm came quickly, not as fast as him previously. But just as you continued from before, so did he. Driving your mind up the wall once again very quickly.

Euijoo had to admit, it felt amazing to get you to cum, quite fast even. His pride and confidence fully restored as you begged him to fuck you harder and keep going.

It wasn't long before he had you cock drunk. There was no need to use words as your body did all the speaking for you. Nipples hard from arousal and being teased, tongue hanging out lazily and your eyes dazed but content. Not to mention the fluids from your pussy squirting and soaking with every thrust.

The whole time you were lost in the pleasure, you had Euijoo on your mind but Fuma in your sights. It was obvious he was happy and proud for his friend but he looked lonely in your eyes. And horny.

After another orgasm shook you, you took a pause. Pressing your back against Euijoos chest, who instantly ran his hands down to your clit and played with your breast as you spoke to him. Keeping your mind and body on a pleasure trip even with his little movement. Even Fuma was impressed that he knew how to do that.

His cold scales contrasted your hot skin and egged his teasing on further as you tried to speak with him buried inside you. Your hand running into his hair to run your fingers along his horns, an obvious sensitive spot as he didn't even hide his shiver.

For once, Fuma was the one let in the dark as you whispered something to Euijoo through breathy moans. He quickly agreed, getting in a cheeky bite at your neck before letting you back down.

Letting your front lay down on the bed, you looked at Fuma with needy eyes. Gesturing him forward with your hand.

Confused, but still being the man(dragon) he was, he came forward. “Is something wrong Y/n? You're not stuck, right?’

He spoke so gently and full of concern. You almost wanted to make up some excuse to keep him talking but that could wait. Especially not as you were eye to eye with his raging boner.

“No, no issue.” You said bluntly as you reached for his pants. Digging your fingers into his boxers and tugging to pull them down.

“Wait what are you doing? This isn't about me-?”

“Oh shut it. It wouldn't be nice to let you watch us fuck and not get in on it.” You were blunt as you pulled him closer.

Fuma didn't want to encroach on a moment that wasn't his. This was about Euijoo and him finally having his chance. He was going to ask him if he was okay with it, but seeing the happy look on his face as he kneaded your ass cheeks told him it didn't seem he minded.

Rejecting the invite could be rude, so he nodded. That and seeing you getting roughly fucked and staring at him the whole time had admittedly turned him on. Some relief could be nice.

Within seconds, you had his pants off, nearly getting spooked by his silvery girthy cock popping out. Oh yeah, he was definitely trying to play it cool with how hard he was in reality. Precum was already seeping out from his tip and adding to the shimmery appearance. Or maybe dragon cum just was sparkly?

You didn't dwell on it before taking him into your mouth like you had done with Euijoo before. Getting a similar hiss of pleasure as you started to suck him off.

Once you had found your rhythm with your mouth it was quickly disregarded. Euijoo took the lead, moving at an animalistic pace to pick up where you left off.

The force pushing your body back and forth- From choking on Fuma to having Euijoo deeper into your walls. A consistent cycle of head turning sensations that only was making you lose yourself.

Tears of overwhelming euphoria as well as the gagging started to spring from your eyes. This was your mosterfucker dream come true! Being used like a cocksleeve for hot dragon men? Sign you up all day, any day!

It was hard to stay focused on the task at hand. Not that you needed to be engulfed in the moment, they were doing what they pleased and you wouldn't complain. Especially not when they were making you feel this amazing.

Your body was tingling, both numb and burning alive as you peaked your orgasm over and over again. Surprisingly but also not, dragons could go for a long time and had a lot to unload.

And you were more than willing to let them use you to take it all in. It felt like a rough fucked bliss you had fallen into as you were filled up and swallowed as much dragon cum as you could take.

Fuma was experienced enough to always know when he was about to snap and warned you. Petting your cheeks and hair and wiping your pretty tears before using your mouth once again.

Euijoo was clearly the novice of the two but that didn't mean he was any less intoxicating. If anything, his lack of experience made every time he came a surprise to you both. And for each time he did, he laid a harsh bite somewhere along your skin. Like keeping a tally for himself.

The amount of cum they let out was also insane. Not only did your body feel slightly heavier from the amount, it coated your sheets past the treasure pile and left them white and sparkly. Maybe the stains wouldn't be so bad.

Even as you wanted this dream come true to last forever, your body was starting to get overstimulated. Quaking with every thrust and your throat and jaw aching all the same. Your legs were on the verge of collapse.

With how this night had been going, it shouldn't be a surprise they weren't going to stop suddenly.

Euijoo picked up one of your legs, changing the angle of which he was driving his dragon cock into you and wrapped his scaly tail around your thigh to hold it up. His hands, claws protruding out, held onto your hips. Clearly, he was giving it his all to end this.

Fuma held onto your hair to keep you upright. Slowing his pace to a painful crawl. Savoring every twitch, suck and swirl of your tongue on his cock. Tracing the ridges and scales that you could feel along his tip.

It didn't take much before your orgasm tore through you once again, sending stars into your vision and taking the strength out of your body.

Although you nearly collapsed, supported up by Euijoos arms, your entire body shook as you came. A stream of squirt spraying out as the cherry on top. A muffled squeal of pleasure ripped through your exhausted throat.

The others weren't far behind. Fuma, nicely pulled out this time. Decorating your face and chest with his cum. Quite the lovely sight on your fucked out face.

Euijoo held you still as he rutted into your tired pussy. Pushing in as far as he could go and breaking out into a mix of a whimper and a moan, sounding somewhat like your name before marking your skin once again.

He shook wildly as his cock twitched. Dumping whatever cum he had left in him into your caved out hole. A perfect space for him to remain as he, in his dragon heart, hoped to breed you.

Exhausted and messy, there was no strength left in your body. Even if you wanted to move, there was no way you could. Thankfully, Euijoo had laid you down, mostly on his chest and hugged you tightly.

In your haze, you hadn't even realized Fuma left and returned with some paper towels to clean you up and gave you some water.

“Uh, sorry about the mess. We'll pay for anything we can't clean.”

It was very kind of him but you wouldn't mind. Instead extending your weak hand and beckoning him to bed with you both.

“Don't worry bout it. Come cuddle.”

Fuma nearly laughed but agreed. No one had the energy to argue. Draping an arm over your side, he was almost immediately asleep.

As you felt yourself drifting off to sleep, you felt the unmistakable kisses of Euijoos lips against your skin. “Thank you Y/n…”

A smile came to your lips as you acknowledged his words. Thanking them in their own way too. Even if they were gone in the morning, you wouldn't regret this night for as long as you lived your human life.

[thekeithmeister]

Being Trans In Southern Nature

Being a nature freak in the south as a well-passing trans man is a surreal experience. I live in north Georgia in a blue county in the suburbs. But as often as I can, I drive out into the middle of nowhere for hiking, camping, paddle boarding, or other outdoor activities. The drive there, in and of itself, is bizarre. Inside my car I’m blasting “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman. But outside I’m driving by confederate flags, Trump signs, the Don’t Tread On Me flag, a sea of American Flags, and Christian billboards that literally say “you’re going to hell” with pictures of fire.

I often think if I ever get a flat tire on one of these trips, and anyone ever figures out I’m trans, I’d be hanged or shot. But I haven’t been clocked in years, so I push those kinds of thoughts to the back of my mind. I turn off the country back roads and onto the gravel drive leading up to a nature preserve. Pulling into the dirt parking lot there’s about a dozen other cars. Many have Trump bumper stickers. There’s no bathroom, so no concern about me being beat up for taking a piss. I always go in the woods anyway on these kinds of trips.

A full bladder is a concern for any trans person. But for this kind of trip I always take major precautions. They start back at home. After I eat breakfast and drink my coffee, I wait a full hour before leaving. I pee at least twice. I make damned sure my bladder is completely empty and there’s no chance any liquid is on it’s way there before getting into my car. I just described the kind of place I have to travel through to get to a good hiking trail. And I ain’t stopping. Not for anything. I’d rather pee my pants.

So when I pull into the lot I have my gear with me. A small backpack containing my rolled up hammock, a bottle of water, protein bars, toilet paper and my taser. When hiking, I drink barely enough to fuel my body. And if I do it just right, I don’t have to pee even if I’m out in the park the entire day. I don’t risk it. And if there really is just no choice, I’m going to go way off trail to do it. And I mean not just out of sight of the trail, but so far off the path someone would have to be crazy to come out there and spot me. Those are the kind of precautions I take.

But I just pulled into the parking lot and my dangerous bladder is empty. So no concerns at the moment. Backpack on, I start walking up to the trail head. There’s a sign there with a map of the trails on it. A blonde woman in a bright yellow shirt immediately approaches me.

“Excuse me!” she says. “Can you tell me if this is an easy trail?”

I’m used to this. Every time I go out hiking, people approach me. Everyone is friendly. Everyone smiles. And I think I must have a very approachable face. Or maybe I look experienced. Whatever the reason, complete strangers come up to me many times during any hike.

This is my first time on this trail, but I researched it beforehand, so I can answer her.

“Some of it,” I said. I turn and point at the map. “Make sure to take a right at the first fork. The entire eastern loop is easy. See, it’s marked green. You want to avoid the western loop as that goes straight up the mountain.” I pointed to the red part.

The woman nodded, “I see. And are there a lot of people on this trail?”

“From what I’ve read no. That’s why I came today. The reviews say you see hardly any body.”

“Thank you! You’ve been a great help! You seem like a really nice young man. Enjoy your hike!”

“You too!”

We part ways. I enter the trail head to begin my hike and I wonder the same exact thing I always wonder when I have these encounters. Would that nice lady turn mean and ugly and hate me if she knew I was trans? I think it every single time. There’s no way not to. I drove through Trump land to get here. I know what conservatives think of me. Or at least the idea of me. It’s not hidden. It’s not a secret. Trump has been president for 20 days at the time I’m writing this, and he has already signed 4 anti-trans specific executive orders. He is planning on discharging 15,000 trans military service members, possibly dishonorably and without their benefits. He’s planning on making it illegal for trans people to play sports. And he also wants to make it illegal for us to use a bathroom in a federal facility. He’s trying to make healthcare illegal for trans people under 19 years of age, threatening to throw parents and doctors in jail. And I watched as Trump signed these executive orders in front of a huge, cheering, smiling, clapping, crowd of conservatives.

They hate me. They want me to die. But when they meet me in real life, they all smile. They approach me. Ask me questions. Thank me for helping them. Many, especially older white men, seem to want to give me guidance, like a father figure. When I run into them on the trail, they are quick to tell me, “the river flooded that way so be careful,” or “the fishing is great at this pond! Bring your pole next time!”

I have never met an unfriendly person while hiking or camping. And I cannot help but wonder… what if they knew? What would those smiles turn into?

I choose the most difficult route on purpose to try and get out into nature alone. I want the peace and quiet it gives me. I don’t want to hear anything other than the birds, the wind, and the branches moving together. If I’m working hard enough, then my own blood pumping in my ears. For the first hour this is what I get. And I’m immeasurably happy. It’s early February and it’s 60 degrees on a sunny day. There are no leaves or greenery yet, but I’m smelling the warmth from the earth mix with the cool air. The pine trees give me plenty of green to be happy with.

But soon, as is always the case, the peace is interrupted. I hear voices from the trail ahead break the quiet. They’re loud. And there are many. Anxiety immediately kicks in. A prick of fear I can never quite control. It sounds like a group of men. And raised as a girl, I knew from a woman’s perspective just how dangerous this could turn out to be. Even having been transitioned and living as a man for the past 8 years, that was embedded in me. Possibly forever. But also having lived as a trans man for so long, my fear shifts from the possibility of being raped to being beat up instead. But again… that would only happen if someone clocked me. And that hadn’t happened in years.

I breathe in and calm myself down. I’m aware of the weight of my taser in my back pocket. I reach back and flip off it’s lid. But I leave it hidden for now. I’ve never needed it, and likely never would. After all, I have never met an unfriendly person while hiking or camping.

As the voices draw nearer, I suddenly hear a woman laugh. My fear immediately vanishes. This was a mixed group of hikers. I keep going and crest the ridge. I can see them now. There’s five, three men, and two women. And one person was black and another Asian. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I always found it interesting just how many other minorities I ran into in the middle of nowhere in the North Georgia Mountains. And how many foreigners for that matter. During this hike, I had run into two separate Germans. Where were they staying? And out of all the places in America they could visit, they chose this tiny trail? But that seemed to be the case almost anywhere I went.

I start passing the group of hikers, and as always, I’m stopped.

“Hi! Nice weather isn’t it?” The lead hiker says.

“Yes it is!” I reply.

“Are we close to the top of the mountain?” One of the women asks me.

“Yes,” I said. “It’s not far. You’re almost there.”

“You hear that honey?” She calls back to a man huffing and puffing as he comes up at the rear. “We’re almost there!”

“Uuugh!” He groans. The woman turns back to me. “Are there really good views at the top?”

“Kinda,” I said. “You have to look through the trees, but it is a good view.”

“Oh great, thank you!”

We part ways. I once again have the same exact thought. All of them were so nice. But how nice would they have been if they’d known?

At the top of the mountain I stop. It had been a tough hike. Steep the entire way. I go off trail a decent distance so no one would see me, find me, or bother me. I set up my hammock where I can be alone. Rocking myself in it, I look out to the view. I can see across two sloping peaks in the distance and it’s really beautiful. But I can’t enjoy it as much as usual. Nature always heals me and puts my mind right. But I’d found out just the day before that the Georgia Legislature had introduced a bill to strip away healthcare from transgender people. It would ban all gender affirming care, even for adults, from anything government or state related.

I was on a private insurance plan from my job, but I didn’t know if my nurse practitioner, who’d been treating me for over 5 years, accepted any government or state funding. If her practice relied on that kind of money, I would be in a lot of trouble. She likely wouldn’t be able to treat me anymore, or risk losing all her funding. Or worse. If treating trans people was illegal, she could potentially be arrested for helping me.

It had taken me years to find someone competent when it came to transgender health. I wouldn’t be able to find someone else. Or rather, I could, but it would likely take years again. And I might be in a situation where I’d be forced to drive out of state. But even then… Trump was targeting blue states, and trying to force them to stop offering healthcare too. So going to a blue state might not have even helped.

I lay in my hammock, wondering what on earth it was I could do. My best friend the day prior had suggested flying to Canada once a year just to get my medication and then coming home. That was a very expensive solution… but one I might have no choice but to consider. Could they even prescribe me a whole years worth of testosterone at a time? I didn’t think so. But maybe I could have it shipped from Canada? How expensive would that be?

I heard a mom shouting at her giggling kids coming up the path just out of sight. They wouldn’t be able to see me where I had set up. So I was free to lay in my hammock and try to fathom what kind of lives this family likely had. How wonderful it must’ve been to not have to worry about where you could legally take a leak, or how you would legally get your medications. That mom didn’t worry about her doctor being thrown in jail. Or if she and her husband would be thrown in jail for getting her kids the proper care they needed. That little family… had no idea that absolute and ruthless hell trans families had to go through.

I wait until I hear them leave. Then wait several minutes more. Then I pack up my hammock and other things and continue down the trail. I’m blissfully alone for another hour or so. But soon I hear voices again. This time it’s a couple: a man and a woman. As they start to approach I assess them. The husband is wearing a shirt with a huge American flag across the front and the Punisher logo on top of that.

I immediately tense up. I knew well enough that the far right wore the Punisher logo. It meant the same exact thing to me as a confederate flag, don’t tread on me flag, christian cross, American flag, or anything else of the like. All of those symbols were the same. And all of them sent the same message. The woman smiles at me as they approach.

“Hi! Have you seen the pond yet?”

“Yes, it’s just up ahead.”

The man doesn’t speak or smile. He barely looks at me. The woman thanks me and they move on.

If they knew, they absolutely would have killed me. I think.

I run into only one other person on the hike, a Korean photographer. We were both lost at the time we met, and his English was difficult to understand. But I made out that he was looking for the trail to the parking lot. I pointed and told him the way I thought it was, but that this was my first time on the trail and wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if he fully understood me. So I just pointed down the trail. After we parted way, I wondered again,

What if he knew? I knew nothing at all about Korean culture. Did they hate trans people too? Or was that just in America?

I wandered for some time, trying to find the right path back. I had 2 hours of daylight left so wasn’t too concerned and my compass said I was heading west, the direction I knew the parking lot was in. So I knew even if I didn’t recognize this part of the trail, I was heading the right way. I stopped by a little stream. Tired, I sat down on the small wooden bridge going across it. Letting my legs dangle over it’s edge and feeling my blood pound in my feet, I took out a protein bar and a bag of apple slices. As I ate my snack, I looked out to the scenery. It was so peaceful and quiet. So quiet in fact that I could close my eyes and listen to the leaves move through the gentle breeze. It was my absolute favorite sound in the entire world. The day was perfect. And it was exactly why I drove so far out of the suburbs to hike in a place like this.

I just wished…

I wished that…

I wished…

[astertimberwolf]

We're all survivors of one too many bad things happening to us. I've healed from a lot, but CPTSD still makes me feel like I'm the lonelist of all, at times... Mostly because of trust issues. It becomes so hard to trust again and so easy to become a hermit or social recluse who never wants to leave their safe space or interact with other people ever again- out of fear of being abused, hurt, let down, disappointed, etc. all over- for the umpteenth time.

I think the thing that stings the most is- knowing, deep down, that the likelihood of you finding love... AKA someone who understands you wholly, respects you, cherishes you, supports you and wants to know- and love every single part of you... Is close to none. At least for me it is- or feels that way. When people look at me, they only see my mental health issues, my quirks, my defects, my vulnerabilities- or worse yet: my past mistakes. They're not able to see that there's a complex, emotionally deep, sensitive, empathetic, caring conscious being underneath all this.

Yes, I'm autistic and have ADHD. Yes, I suffer from Complex PTSD, which can lead to unfounded anxiety or depressive bouts from time to time- and hinder my ability to socialize and connect to others... But I've got a lot of love to give as well, a past- complete with a stupid number of experiences, both good and bad... a story to tell- a personality, which, while quirky, doesn't make me repulsive or hard to be around. I've also got lots of hobbies and interests as well... In short, I'm not just another "walking, talking problem" or "NPC you can interact with". I'm a person that can add color to your life. All you have to do is take some time to get to know me. If you're not a bad person, then I don't bite at all and won't retreat into myself to safeguard my wellbeing.

Life is so short, yet so many people have been traumatized or are socially maladapted to a stupid degree because they grew up on toxic social media... Wouldn't it be amazing if it became easier to form bonds and deeper connections with people? If we learnt to communicate and respect each other more? Live in harmony despite being very different? Share laughs, good memories and find company in one-another?

I don't know if this pain is just a consequence of having CPTSD- or if it's a whole slew of generations that depended on the internet for everything and, now, don't know how to form meaningful friendships / relationships with one-another.

If we want to change things for the better, we have to start putting more time, effort and points into empathy and mutual understanding. I have... But so many people I have come across have not, and it's deeply saddening and disheartening that nobody takes the time to develop their emotional intelligence or maturity any more... I want a better world and better people...

...a better future. I'm fighting for all that, tooth and nail. But will people join my plea and fight? Can we turn this around...? Be it through investing more time in platforms where you actually have a semblance of seeing a person in front of you like VRChat- or even creating new places where people can gather and help one another?

I don't know anymore. I'm rambling at this point. But I think these are real problems that everyone is just looking away from or denying the existence of by pretending everything is fine... It really is not. Can we make this year, a year where humanity starts slowly turning around and becomes a truly social, communal species again- instead of this individualistic, narcissistic, consumeristic / capitalistic nonsense? I know the former sounds political, but it really isn't. Look at how the most popular social media platforms are designed to enrage us, manipulate us, degrade our attention, ability to function- and click on stupid ragebait and misinformation. All for the sake of targeted adverts, engagement... And at the end of the day, money. It's always about that and not people's wellbeing. Is there a way to stop this and start over? :(

believe me, it hurts like hell to face the fact no one is coming to save you.. but fighting to save yourself can give you a connection to yourself that no one else can give you. it's a feeling that honestly can't be put into words. but it's so worth sticking around for.

and this doesn't mean you have to fight alone. there will be people in your life who can help tend your wounds. give you a safe space to rest. teach you how to strengthen the parts of yourself that are injured. or simply be with you in between battles, doing all the wonderful things that make life worth living, together.

i don't know if that made sense. i just want anyone else going through it to know there is another side to the hopelessness and desperation you're feeling. maybe it won't feel like mine is. but i do hope it's just as rewarding for you. you deserve that much, and so much more.

whatever you're facing now does not have to be the end of you. keep going. i promise you're worth it.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me at yet another family gathering trying to tune out the underhand comments about my personal life, casual homophobia, less casual sexism, ableism, troubling political attitudes, and so many layers of generational trauma it might as well be a fucking trifle

[fitzselfships]

Okay well yhe other ask was another anon being weird about a post I rbed like. About 2 weeks ago fhat was Literally just stating a boundary and acting like I'm close friends with the op (who I have Never interacted with outside of seeing them in the tags and occasionally rbing their posts??? I don't even follow them lmao) so ummmm I'm not even going to acknowledge these asks anymore. Next anon to send anything like that I'm just going to delete it

And btw if you're still stalking my blog fuck off. Get white smurf jumpscared <3

[famewolf]

if im being honest and allowing myself to vent a bit about it ... another red flag was when the DM went 'wow i love the detail of your backstory but idk what i can do with it tho ):'

[greenfiend]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Always appreciated. 😊

This theory post was difficult to write and I definitely shed tears throughout. However, if this is (roughly) on the right track with the Duffers’ vision, then I’m pretty impressed. It’s definitely a complex story that makes you think deeply about life, history, and philosophy.

But it mainly makes me think of the times we currently live in. It’s easy to fall into the trap of nostalgia; to reminisce of a “better time” while viewing the present as unpleasant. But I don’t think this show is glamorizing the past. It’s doing the opposite. It’s reminding us how far we’ve come from that time. Because simply plucking Mike and Will from the 80s into the present time, would pretty much ensure a happier life for them.

Even though the times seem dire at the moment, with bigotry and ignorance on the rise, we still have advanced in general… even just from 40 years ago! As I know of many people currently living with HIV who live relatively normal lives, with similar lifespans as those who live without it. And there definitely has been lots of advancements with the LGBTQ+ community.

Are we still behind in many ways? Have we gone backwards in some regards? Are times right now scary for many of us? Absolutely. We still have a long way to go. But let us not forget how far we’ve come.

The Nested Universes Theory

and the high chance of a very literal bitter/sweet ending…

Yes, Will and Mike will end up together, but their ending may be both happy and tragic simultaneously.

(This theory may explain why the cast and Netflix executives were crying heavily when informed of the show’s ending…)

I'm warning you guys, take care of yourself while reading this. This isn't an easy read.

CW: CSA, sex, drugs, HIV/AIDS, period typical homophobia, death

Framed Narratives/Stories

Framed narratives are basically a story within a story. Common examples of this are the movie “The Princess Bride” and “Titanic”. Both stories have the story of the narrator and the story within.

Another example is Stranger Things itself. When we see the boys playing Dungeons and Dragons, they are creating a story within a story.

Sometimes, framed narratives are nested, meaning multiple layers of storytelling. An example of this would be the movie “Inception”. In that movie there are dreams within dreams within dreams… It’s a complex but fascinating way to tell stories.

Now, I do think Stranger Things is also a nested narrative story. Meaning, there may be a layer of a story that hasn’t been revealed to us yet (or more than one).

Basically I’m saying: the show itself may be a story created by some of the characters.

I’m guessing two characters in particular. Which two characters? The two most associated with creating stories. The writer and artist. Two of the characters that have existed since the show’s inception.

Mike and Will.

Multiple Universes

I do think there are multiple timelines/universes within Stranger Things… but it’s not exactly what you think. It’s not parallel universes/timelines. They do not exist parallel to each other, they exist within each other.

This is the reason for the “memory within a memory”, “play within a play” references.

It’s a story within a story within a story.

While Mike and Will are creating their DnD campaigns, there is another version of Mike and Will creating the story we see within the show.

Let’s break it down:

Inner layer: Mike and Will’s characters existing within a DnD campaign

Middle layer: Mike and Will within the show creating the DnD campaign

Outer layer: Mike and Will creating the story of the show

Mike and Will’s story within the frame (the outer layer) likely does share a lot in common with the story within the show, with one major difference:

There’s no Upside Down, and no supernatural elements. No superpowers, and no superheroes. There are still monster(s) and heroes, but these monsters and heroes are real.

Living on as “Heroes”

Ever notice the association between characters being referred to as “a hero” after facing their demise?

We have seen this time and time again. It’s not a coincidence, it’s a pattern.

Love for horror and escapism

@threemanoperation has a great post on Will’s love for horror.

It makes perfect sense for a boy like Will to enjoy horror. It can be a great way to process trauma and grief.

We also know even from the earliest descriptions for Mike and Will’s characters that they both love to “escape” into fantasy. They do this together, through DnD.

Gods/Puppet Masters/Creators

Within the show, there are many subtle nods to Will and Mike somehow controlling/manipulating things. These hints have lead to many interesting theories about Mike and/or Will having powers. In a sense, they both are absolutely right! But if this theory is correct, their influence over the show is mainly due to them creating it. They’re the authors, so in a way, they’re both “Gods”.

Solving the “Letter to Willy”/Lettergate puzzle

"Letter to Willy" is a song that plays over three different scenes within ST4. Each scene involves regrets, and survivor's guilt.

Max mourns Billy and reads out her letter "before it's too late" aka before she dies too.

Mike and Will have a heart-to-heart and Mike expresses guilt over El leaving, thinking there was more he could have done. This occurs while they are burying a dead man's body.

Dustin tells Eddie's uncle that Eddie died a hero, despite what the town thought.

This all leads back to Mike and Will within the story's outer layer. This also connects with the writer's incomplete letter they posted years ago on Twitter. I'll get back to this.

A father infecting his child

Oh boy. I hate this part but it requires context so…

Hopper admits to indirectly causing the death of his daughter, Sarah. He had been exposed to Agent Orange which led to his daughter developing cancer at a young age. He has remorse and has been grieving Sarah this whole time.

Now, Hopper is a decent guy and father, and is written as an almost “fix it” version of Mike and Will’s own fathers. He isn’t perfect, but he’s a man who strives to grow and improve himself.

Papa, is not a decent guy, and we also see him injecting El and Henry with needles.

So, what I’m saying is that this may be a hint to what happened to Will (in the 99/100 timeline). Lonnie is hinted to be a drug user, and it wouldn’t be far fetched to say he may have used IV drugs. Exposure to IV drugs is a way to transmit diseases, as blood may be exchanged through contaminated needles. Also, Lonnie has been hinted at, through subtext, to be a horrible monster. (<- click that link for a post about him.)

The “1/100” Timeline

The show itself is the 1 out of 100 timeline. It is the only one where Will was not kidnapped by his parent/guardian (Lonnie).

This means, it is the one where none of the tragic stuff ever happened, specifically to Will and Mike’s story at least. They may encounter challenges, but nothing they cannot overcome together, as a team.

1983: The Demogorgon got Will. He survives the horrors done to him in the Upside Down… but barely. He is taken to the hospital and heals from it all, including flu-like symptoms (cough, nausea/vomiting).

1984: Will suffers from flashbacks. He is also plagued with the nickname “Zombie Boy” and suffering from the Mind Flayer’s possession of him. But with the love of his family, and Mike, is able to return back to his reality.

1985: He then begins to struggle with the pressures of growing up, and having to move away. Plus the Mind Flayer returns and reeks more havoc.

1986: He then moves to a pleasant place. Where things are sunny and warm. Things on the surface seem happy and “normal” but there’s a looming threat hidden beneath the surface. Henry/1/Vecna. This opportunistic threat preys on the weak and begins to take over Hawkins.

1987-1989: Will is back in Hawkins and his ties to the Upside Down increase. He can’t shake it off as easily as before. He also can’t shake off his love for Mike, who grows even closer to him. One thing leads to another and they become lovers (they have sex). They eventually are able to stop the contamination of Hawkins, and save everyone. Will also realizes that he has developed superpowers from his time in the Upside Down, through his blood. Mike also develops superpowers, given to him by Will.

Okay… you might understand where I’m going with this but I still must warn you before reading the next part. It’s devastatingly tragic.

The “99/100” Timeline

(I’m probably wrong on some of these details but this is what I theorize thus far):

1983: Lonnie “got” Will (CSA). Will survives the horrors done to him by his father… but barely. He is taken to the hospital and heals from it all and from flu-like symptoms (cough, nausea/vomiting).

1984: Will suffers from flashbacks. He is also plagued with the nickname “Zombie Boy” and suffering from the flashbacks of his father’s possession of him. But with the love of his family, and Mike, is able to return back to reality.

1985: He then begins to struggle with the pressures of growing up. Plus the memories of Lonnie return and reek more havoc.

1986: Things on the surface seem happy and “normal” but there’s a looming threat hidden beneath the surface. HIV -> AIDS. Opportunistic infections slowly begin to prey on Will.

1987-?: Will can’t shake off colds and infections as easily as before. He also can’t shake off his love for Mike, who grows even closer to him. One thing leads to another and they become lovers (they have sex). Will soon discovers he has HIV/AIDS, which he had transmitted to Mike. Devastated by the news, they do everything they can to fight it together. They cope through creating a DnD campaign together to process everything they’ve gone through. They play DnD in Mike’s basement until Will’s condition becomes critical. Will is forced to stay in the hospital, while Mike is unable to visit (strict rules about visitation due to the disease and because they aren’t/cannot be considered legal partners). So, Mike does the only thing he can do: he writes letters to Will and continues the story. Mike eventually loses Will, for real this time. He’s devastated, and plagued with grief, depression, and survivor’s guilt. He didn’t complete their story in time. But his family and friends support him and encourage him to finish the story. To change the ending before his time runs out too. He completes their story himself, and reads his final letter to Will’s grave.

“anyway I think you’ll like [the ending]. sorry I couldn’t get it done [on time] but you mean so [much to me] and it’s been [so hard being without you] hope this is [enough to] last until [we meet again]. Love, [Mike].”

Attached to this letter is the full campaign. The full story of the show itself, which started on November 6th, 1983. He successfully turned back the clock, and changed their ending. They became superheroes within their story, saving Hawkins with their love. Mike dies soon after and we are met with…

Mike and Will reuniting within their own story. Blue meeting yellow at a gate, one final time, that leads “into the west”.

They continue their story and it’s a never ending story… Living on as heroes, forever and ever.

Some thoughts:

To simplify things, I didn’t include other characters much here but they likely all play an important role in the story. Many characters likely only exist within the mid layer (the 1/100 timeline).

I do think their story likely will be published, and this will be done by another character (my guess is Lucas). Their story will impact others profoundly, perhaps completely altering perspectives. This will lead towards positive change, and increase pressure for the development of a “cure”.

Lonnie obviously dies too, but we won’t see it. He’s significant but irrelevant. We don’t need to see him. Perhaps he rots in jail.

If characters like Nancy, Jonathan, Joyce, and Hopper all exist within the outer layer (the 99/100 timeline) in a similar way, they too may be inflicted with HIV/AIDS. Remember, it wasn’t just gay men, everyone was affected by this awful epidemic.

The time period is super relevant in this story. There’s no way that HIV/AIDS will not play an important role. Think about it… it revolves around two gay boys growing up during that time. This epidemic was widespread and terrifying. Had they been born a decade later, there would have been treatments/“cures” accessible to them.

The biggest reason why I strongly believe this theory is because… this is basically the ending of Stranger Things season 1, on a much grander scale. Think about it. Mike changed the ending of the DnD campaign so Will could be a hero, not a victim. This was further established in the comics.

While Mike and Will within the outer layer (99/100) have a tragic ending, Mike and Will within the show (1/100) do not. They beat the odds. Although it is undeniably a tragic end, remember that somewhere out there Mike and Will are still playing DnD and Nintendo for the rest of their lives.

Free Will and Writing your Own Ending

Free will has always been a reoccurring theme within Stranger Things; meaning we can choose our own destiny, fight chance, and beat the odds.

Do we truly have free will though? Obviously, we don’t know. The point is, we should still live life as if we do have it. To take control where we can, and not let external forces dictate who we are and what our destiny is. I think that’s the message there.

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[titsthedamnseason]

“you will see all your favorite people again”

[luckyladylily]

So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.

I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.

People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.

I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.

I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.

I want you to keep all that in mind.

So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"

My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.

Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.

When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.

"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"

I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.

Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.

When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.

It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.

[medicinemane]

The world is set on prescriptivism and... it doesn't jive with me

[ame-to-ame]

Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭

[therainbowwillow]

hbomberguy’s latest video on plagiarism has made me completely rethink literature and writing. I have never once so much as considered intentionally plagiarizing anyone or anything, but I think there’s something more that has come out of this: the names of the people who created the works Somerton (and others) ripped off.

Plagiarism isn’t only bad because it is lazy and disrespectful, it’s bad because it buries the truth. If you can’t find a source, the conversation is over. Somerton’s sources are fairly easy to find by simply searching his plagiarized lines, but that isn’t true in most cases. Most of the time, the line from statement to source is a lot less clear.

Today, I was writing a report on English Ivy, which is an invasive species here in the US. I wanted to know when it was introduced and I at last found a source claiming it was introduced to the Americas “as early as 1727” on a .net website that seems quite reputable (it has multiple major universities credited in its home page), but there is no citation for where this date came from. I dug deeper and found a pamphlet created by a city government in Virginia that made the same claim, only to discover the first source linked in their bibliography. Another website (a botanical garden’s page) gave the same date with the same source hyperlinked. Of course, I have classes to attend and things to do and probably not enough time to follow the lines back to where this 1727 date came from, but if I had not just watched this video, I wouldn’t have given that date a second thought.

Of course, it doesn’t matter in the long run exactly what year hedera helix was introduced to the Americas, but it makes you wonder how many facts have been so vaguely attributed that it becomes completely impossible to figure out where they originated (and further, whether or not they’re true at all).

[kira-akira]

What I Want You To Know About Long COVID

Well lads, I've been suffering from Long COVID for over a year now. My life is at a complete standstill. I'm 25 years old and I'm too sick to go back to school, I can't work, I had to move back in with my parents and I'm still stuck here.

Here are just a few things I wish people knew about Long COVID, including things I didn't know myself until I got it.

COVID destroys your immune system. Yes, even if you don't have Long COVID. Are you getting sick more often now? When you get sick, does it last longer? There are many studies showing that COVID causes t cell depletion, even in mild COVID cases! T cells are how your body remembers how to fight off infections you've had before so losing those cells? Bad news.

Your initial infection can be mild and you can still get Long COVID. Right from Yale Medicine, "Most people with Long COVID had mild acute COVID." (This is also a good link for a basic Long COVID overview).

There can be a gap of time between when you "get better" from the initial COVID infection to the onset of Long COVID symptoms. Some people get sick with an initial COVID infection and never get better. Some get better and then weeks or months later start developing Long COVID symptoms. Long COVID symptoms can even fluctuate over time, can go away for months and then suddenly come back.

So many people have Long COVID and don't realize it. Do you feel more tired lately but no matter how much you sleep, nothing helps? Is it harder to concentrate at work or school? Can you just not think like you used to? You could have Long COVID and not even know it. Even mild post-COVID symptoms are still Long COVID.

COVID can do anything to your body. Long COVID has over 200 recognized symptoms and can affect basically any part or system of your body. There is no one mechanism or cause of Long COVID which unfortunately also means there's no one cure either.

The effects of COVID are cumulative. Each COVID reinfection increases your chances of developing Long COVID. COVID is also affecting your body in other ways, yes, even if you're otherwise young and healthy! "Repeat COVID-19 infections increase risk of organ failure, death".

Once you have Long COVID, repeat COVID infections will make your symptoms worse. "80% [of Long COVID patients] saw their symptoms worsen [from reinfection]. In 60% of people who were in recovery or remission from Long COVID, reinfection caused a recurrence of Long COVID."

There is a lot more I want to say about Long COVID but I want to keep this post at least somewhat manageable to read. Like how when COVID is contracted during pregnancy, those COVID-exposed fetuses have a 6.3-fold increased risk of motor developmental delays, or that another study found 50% of babies exposed to COVID in utero had developmental delays.

You need to keep caring about COVID, for others around you and also for yourself even if you're "healthy". Everyone is at risk. And don't forget 40-60% of COVID infections are asymptomatic, which is why masking even if you feel fine is crucial. The only way right now to not get Long COVID is to not get COVID in the first place. It's not too late, if you've stopped masking it's never too late to start again! I know it's easy to get distracted by things in your life that seem more real than the possibility of getting sick some time in the future, and the peer pressure to not mask can be intense. But it only feels less real or less important until your entire life is having Long COVID. Trust me.

I know this is a complicated issue, many people can't afford to stay home when sick even if they want to because of their jobs, there are disgusting policies trying to ban wearing masks, but please if you can. Keep masking. Masking works, masking saves lives.

This post got a bit longer than I wanted so below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of my Long COVID symptoms and some of my experiences as one of the "healthy young people" who got "unlucky". cw brief mention of suicidal ideation.

Welcome to the Thunderdome that is my body with Long COVID. Keep in mind these are just my experiences and symptoms, Long COVID can cause any range of symptoms at varying severities.

Dysautonomia: Exercise intolerance, Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), fatigue, and heat intolerance. What do those things mean? Here's some specific examples. Absolutely terrible circulation I am so cold all the time but also, if I get a little too warm I will pass out. Eating hot food makes my heart rate spike, I sweat, my body feels heavy. Blood pooling and pins and needles in my feet when I walk. Don't even think about exercising past walking, it's impossible. I used to work out an hour a day 4 times a week and now walking up one flight of stairs makes my heart pound and I can't breathe. Can't take even just warm showers anymore or I will pass out. Heat rashes from being in the sun for 10 minutes.

Digestive issues: Honestly too many to name but: constant bloating, extreme nausea, constipation, slow motility, lack of appetite, just so much cramping and pain. I lost 18 pounds from Long COVID, as someone who was already considered underweight their entire life, and almost had to get a shunt put into my chest to deliver nutrients because I was nearly completely unable to eat. For the first 6 months of Long COVID, if I could manage 600 calories a day, that was a good day.

Histamine intolerance: Oh boy. My worst symptoms, I don't even know where to start with it. If you know Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) it's very similar. I can only eat 19 foods. If i eat a single bite of something not on that list, it's 48 hours of absolute hell. Coughing, migraines, itchy eyes, such extreme nausea I cannot even describe it, panic/feeling of doom, racing heart rate, derealization, rash, uncontrollable muscle tremors. I only learned about histamine intolerance 5 months into having Long COVID so before that, I was experiencing these symptoms nearly every single day. Terrifying isn't even a strong enough word to describe how it felt to experience all this and have no idea what it was, how to stop it, or if it would ever stop. Really dark times.

Neurological issues: More of that derealization. Inability to concentrate. Anxiety. OCD-like symptoms such as thoughts getting "stuck" in my head, repeating 24/7 completely unable to stop them, genuinely felt like my brain had cracked open and I had lost my mind. Constant dizziness like I'm on a boat.

Sleep issues: I sleep like garbage. I have insomnia, I wake up dozens of times every night and every single time I sleep I have intensely vivid dreams. I can't sleep longer than 7 hours total no matter how exhausted I am. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted, I'm so so tired.

And finally. Just. Really intense suicidal ideation. My body, my health, my entire life has been stolen from me because someone else decided my life was worth less to them than wearing a mask or staying home if they feel sick. Before I got Long COVID, I was preparing to go to South Korea to teach English, then on to a PhD in neurolinguistics, I was supposed to meet my long distance partner and had already booked plane tickets when I got sick. All of that has been destroyed.

Most of us with Long COVID are stuck in a cycle of being extremely sick, then if you're lucky you'll slowly get better over months, just to get reinfected and go right back where you started or worse. Honestly, I'm not scared of dying from COVID. I'm scared of living for a long time, suffering from Long COVID the entire time. This isn't living.

I don't know how to end this now. I'm still fighting, I'm trying experimental treatments, I'm not giving up yet. I hope everyone reading this stays healthy and well.