#i know im overthinking it but i got that perfectionist in me man

[technicalgator]

wip/close up of the science party thingie im still working on since these details prob wont be seen in the vid/animatic(?)

i got the first half of the vid how i want it, but the second part (specifically one frame) includes a complex perspective shot i placed upon my shoulders, and im teetering on the line of-

“fuck it i wanna finish this video i dont care if its not perspectively correct”

and

“damnit i am a perfectionist and i MUST get this angle right and i will fix it so many times to the point where i burn myself out an am unable to finish the vid”

i love art sm snfnjsndjwjqkq

[ivy-diaries]

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. THE IVY INCIDENT ep 1. ◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

The intro plays, and Ivy appears on the screen smiling and leaning into the mic to speak. “Hello guys, welcome to my new podcast, 'The Ivy Incident!!’ This has been in the works ever since I stepped into the dive podcast studio when I came here to film the kpop daebak show with Eric so it's soo exciting to finally show you guys this project!” she laughs as the other staff there are heard clapping.

Laughing, she continues "so in this podcast, I invite my friends from the industry and we just you know, talk and share stories! It's a lot similar to Eric's but mine is more personal if you will because all these people are very very close to me and I've known them for a pretty long time! This episode is just gonna be me cuz this is like an introduction for all the first-time listeners who don't know who I am!" “So I heard Diane has some questions prepared for me, so let's get into it!” 

“let's start with the basics, yeah? Who is Ivy Jennifer James?” Diane asks her. 

“Oh we’re going back to the beginning okay! So as you’ve already mentioned, my name is ivy jennifer james. I was born in New Castle, Australia where I lived till I was five and then I moved to the US where again I lived for five years before moving to Korea when I was eleven. And in korea, i signed with bighit entertainment and when i was asked if i was ready to debut when i was 14 i think? I was like imma do it. So i debuted at 14 under both jype and bighit and the rest is history! And i'm here today hehe”

“What motivated you to pursue a career as a solo artist?”

“Hmm i think ever since i got into bighit, i've always wanted to be a soloist? I'm not really sure why but I always saw myself as a soloist for some reason. Even till now, if you ask my dad he’d say that i was born to do this” ivy laughs and continues “i think ever since i was little ive wanted to something in the field of music and performance”

“Was being a kpop idol your first choice?”

“It was actually! I mean keeping in mind that i started this since i was a literal child, it actually was my first choice. The kids at school did tease me for this but look at me now” ivy chuckles

“Who are your music inspirations?”

“That's a great question and I was literally talking to Jun about this this morning! I dont have one specific inspiration but i think i draw inspiration from any and all artists! I've been pretty inspired by the Beatles and Rolling Stone pretty recently and obviously, Taylor Swift is one of my biggest inspirations out there.” 

“Are you a sweet or savory type of person?”

“It honestly depends on my mood if i'm being honest” she laughs hard “now, im craving something savory! I'd kill for some fries right now oh man you’ve perked up my cravings now diane!!”

“What's the last song you listened to?”

Ivy laughs hard and almost tears up laughing “this is actually so funny oh my god the last song i listened to is actually a helium ingested cover of let me love you by justin bieber which yeonjun sung for me yesterday after a party we went to and let me tell you, it was soo funny!!”

“According to you, tell me 3 flaws and 3 qualities about yourself”

“Ooh, three qualities of mine would be, one, I think I'm kind I guess? Second, I'm somewhat responsible, and third and finally, I think I'm a human sized golden retriever because I'm very bubbly and very smiley smiley most of the time! And three flaws of mine are, one, i’m a big overthinker, i just rethink about every single choice or word of mine a little too much. Second, my moods are based on the weather…”

Ivy laughs at the look on Diane's face “yea.. My mood everyday kinda depends on how good the weather is.. That's why I'm not as fond of the rain because it makes me kind of depressed and I just shut myself off most of the time. Third, im a bit of a perfectionist so i expect any and all things to be a little too perfect.. If its not what i expect it to be, i just leave that and will not ever touch on it again and i know i should change these things and i am trying so.. yeah “

“okay, something similar but three things you like and three things you dislike”

 “I don't like these types of questions!!” she laughs “it makes me think too much to give an answer!! But anyways… hmm three things i like are, one, my husband” she giggles as a small blush is seen on her cheek “well it's true!! I wouldn't have married him if I didn't like him would I?” she giggles “second, i really love what i do so, my career and third, my loved ones! I love my friends and family because they've stuck with me through thick and thin and I'm really grateful for that!” she smiles and gives the camera a little hand heart

“three things i hate are.. Hmm lets see… one, people who do not value privacy. I've said this multiple times and i'll say this again but I do love my fans.. I love them a lot and I wouldn't be here without them. But there are some people who claim that they are fans but do unhinged stuff to get close to me. And like that's why I've sued some people for not valuing my privacy. I got hate for it but honestly I don't care when the privacy and the lives of the people i love are at stake."

"Second, coming back to a slightly normal side, I absolutely hate the smell of fish. I don't know if it's cuz im vegetarian but I always throw up whenever I smell it and third, coming back to a more serious side, I hate the fact that most people on the internet feel like it's their right to comment on us as celebrities or idols or as performers. It's so irritating that they don't even feel sorry for what they say. They don't know how much we over think it and it slowly becomes an insecurity that takes years to wear off.”

“Okay this is your second to last question and the question is, For listeners who may not have heard your music before, can you recommend a few songs that best represent your sound and artistic vision?”

“That is a really good question, oh my god! So I think my discography is quite diverse and I have a lot of songs for different kinds of people who like different things. So the top three songs that i’d recommend to people are, one, vengeance as its called. There's no explanation for that song but I loved making it and loved singing it so that's the first song and second, I have a song called lovers in the night  that i co wrote with seori which I absolutely loved and we had a great time writing the song. And third I think is, my whole album called “for us.”  which i wrote with yeonjun and its songs dedicated for each other and hence called for us!”

“Okay… last question, can you give us any hints of the upcoming guests you have here?” Diane asks, smiling knowingly. Ivy giggles and wiggles her fingers across the camera

“Well I guess I can.. But most of my friends have not given me exact dates of their free schedule so even i’m not really sure on whos coming” she laughs at herself “so that's all i can tell you now because that's just all i know so” she just shrugs as she smiles.

“That's it for this episode and I hope you guys enjoyed this. I'm so excited for all the things we have in store for you guys and I hope you look forward to it!! So this has been ivy so far and thank you for listening to the ivy incident! Have a good day or good night bye!!”

⋆ ivy taglist ˒ @stealanity @alixnsuperstxr @riikiblr @skz-libby @escapetheash (lmk if u wanna be added or removed)

⋆ priya says ˒ so this is not proofread so read at ur own risk lol <33 but if you've come this far,, please reblog with the bow emoji (🎀) so I know that readers are interactive and writers get the credit they deserve!! so lmk who you want to see on ivys podcast and any feedback tbh!! Happy reading!!

[poohbea]

IM HERE TO BOOK MY MF APPOINTMENT BABEEEE🤭

so yk obviously i have to pick red w toji😵‍💫 and i just know that dirty bastard has a corruption kink so he got no issue handling little virgins😗 i’m thinking cute lingerie is involved, readers definitely overthinking everything until he fucks the nerves outta you😔

CONGRATS AGAIN ON 300 I LOVE YOU!!😚

wordcount: 1.4k

content: escort!toji, softdom!toji, virgin chubby fem!reader, implied black!reader (there’s one mention of skin tone but it’s very minor), lingerie, blindfold (you see that tie around his neck?), very light choking, pet names (baby, doll, darlin’, etc.), unprotected sex (use protection kids), unedited

note from pooh: the way i was in the ZONE while writing this goodness gracious me, i was literally in toji’s mind while writing, seeing you through his eyes, how you’d feel and sound like, heheheeeeee. why do i always get into that headspace when writing for him? i don’t even know 😭🤭 but anyway, im so sorry this took forever to come out, im lowkey embarrassed smh 😭 i blame my perfectionist ass, cause this wasn’t supposed to be this long lmao but i needed it to be good so here she is 🥺 i hope you enjoy my angel 🤎

WARNING: this is smut, so please ensure you have your age visible on your account before interacting. minors (below 18+), ageless and blank blogs will be BLOCKED

Hope you enjoy ♡ reblogs are greatly appreciated

“My, my,” Toji purrs with the slight shake of his head. He admires the way your skin flushes under the intensity of his dark gaze, eyes raking your body shamelessly. His fingers trace the silken material of the remaining black lingerie, the lace hugging your hips in a way that made his dick all too hard. “Fuck, look at you, doll.” You had him thinking up the most depraved thoughts as you lay there on the bed, blindfolded, so open and responsive to each and every touch.

Innocent. It was the first word that came to mind when you walked through his door. It was difficult for you to meet his gaze when he spoke, often keeping your head down or picking at your nails out of nervousness. However, the more he pried, the more you began to relax, able to speak beyond just one word when he asked you a question.

Then he finally got your attention. “Are you a virgin?”

Your response was almost immediate, wide eyes, trembling lips, a shaky exhale, all before you confirmed it with a soft. “Yes.” It’s when he laughs do you panic. “T-that’s not an issue, is it?! I can go if-”

“No, no,” he interrupts your distressed ramble. “It’s…No, it’s perfect actually.” You were inexperienced, untouched, uncorrupted. And soon you were on his bed, expression resembling that of a deer in headlights, that was until Toji offered you his tie. “This might help with your nerves.” You eyed the satin with clear confusion, drawing a chuckle from the man. “Clients typically find it easier to relax with a blindfold on, gets them outta their head.” With shaky hands you take the tie from him and with some help you manage to tie it securely around your head, vision black and body on high alert.

“I’m scared.” You admit, huffing an anxious laugh.

“That’s okay, baby girl. You’re new to this, so we’ll go nice and slow.” You noticeably shudder as he runs his hands up your legs, starting at your ankles, fingers tracing the sides of your calves before dipping behind your knees, enjoying the soft moan you emit as a result. He knew every erogenous zone there was and just how to touch them to make you squirm. He didn’t have to wonder between your thighs to elicit a sound from those pretty lips, no, he’d make you beg with them first.

Before long he’s at your stomach, your hips following the arched path of his fingertips over your pelvis in a languid buck, goosebumps rising upon your heated skin. “So sensitive.” He can’t help but chuckle when you whine in reply, thighs clenching tight as he journeys over the swell of your breasts, just barely ghosting your already pert nipples through the thin lace.

The man didn’t mind the adorable sentiment, wrapping his gift in such a pretty material, all so he could remove it, layer by layer. But first he’d play with you a little, help unravel that tight coil of trepidation set in the pit of your stomach.

“Breathe, doll.” He whispers in your ear as he wraps a hand around your throat, relishing the way your chest falls on command. “That’s it, baby.”

“Toji.” Your weak pleas went ignored as he continued his amorous exploration, digits hooking the thin straps of your bra. Slowly drawing them down your shoulders, his lips followed suit, each newly revealed section of skin met with the heat of his kiss. And soon your top was off, lost to the shagginess of the carpet beneath the bed as he tossed it aside.

Which brings him back to marvelling at your figure, an irresistible softness beneath his fingertips as he plays with your pert nipples, humming as your back arches, body silently begging for more of his touch.

“Fuck, darlin’.” Was all he could manage before replacing his fingers with his tongue, drawing a sharp gasp from those pillowy lips of yours. You couldn’t help the moans that followed as it swirled around the sensitive bud, his hands massaging the soft flesh whilst he tended to them one at a time.

“Toji, shit.” His name was breathy as it left your throat, unable to lay still in the face of his teasing, teeth nipping gently at the cocoa dusted skin of your breast, slowly making his way down your body.

“Tell me what you want, pretty girl.” He mumbles against the plushness of your tummy, taking the string-like waistband of your underwear between his incisors.

“You, I need you, please.” Even blindfolded you still manage to comb your fingers through his hair, practically egging him on as he finally unwraps his gift completely, your panties still between his teeth when they slip from your ankle and onto the bed beside him.

“What do you need from me, angel?” He doesn’t miss the way you lick your lips when you hear his zipper sound, the button of his pants accompanying it as he draws the garment around his thighs, an already hard cock bouncing at attention in its newfound freedom.

“Make love to me.” Those four words stopped Toji in his tracks.

As an escort it was his job to cater to his client’s every need, to be the lover they’d always desired, they were paying him after all. However, it had been a very long time since he’d heard those four words. He wasn’t even sure he knew how to anymore, if he were truly honest. This line of work was no breeding ground for unstable emotions such as love, so with time he’d removed it from his vocabulary entirely. But the desperation in your tone stirred that forgotten feeling inside his chest. He supposed he could make an exception. You were still a virgin, and that alone blossomed a steely determination that steadily washed away any doubt clouding his mind.

“Say that again.” He huffs, taking his already leaking tip in the palm of his hand, spreading the pre-cum across the flushed velvety skin.

“M-Make…”

“Don’t go shy on me now, sweetheart. Let me hear you say it again.” You shudder when he removes the blindfold from your eyes, free hand parting your thighs, hips settling themselves against your own.

“Make love to me, please, Toji.” He has to swallow the growl rising in his chest as he witnesses you bite your lip, gaze never wavering. That hidden confidence finally reared its head unabashedly, challenging his own as he stared down at you with dark eyes.

Toji is silent when he glides the head of his cock through your unsurprisingly slick folds, the sensitivity of your body revealing itself in the form of a delicious glossy arousal that easily paints his tip. “Mm, baby girl, you’re making such a mess.”

“Don’t say it like that.” You whine breathlessly, eying the way he runs his dick over your puffy clit.

“Like what?” His head dips into the crook of your neck. “You don’t want me to tell you just how fucking wet you are for me, doll? How you’re dripping so much you’re ruining the bedsheets?”

“N-No.”

“No? Oh, but I think you do, darlin’. I think you wanna hear all about how wet you’ve made my dick, and how easy it’s gonna slide into that pretty pussy of yours. Isn’t that right, baby?” He rocks his hips into yours ever so slightly, just enough to nudge against the entrance.

“I-I…” You reciprocate with a needy wave of your spine, almost crying when Toji withdraws from your advances.

“I’m not gonna give it to you until I get an answer, pretty. All you have to do is admit it.” The ragged breaths that break the ensuing silence make him chuckle deeply. So he tries again, making sure to include your clit in the mix. “Do you like it when I tell you how wet you are, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes, fuck.”

“Does it feel good when I run my dick over your clit?” He’s tantalisingly slow in his movements as he speaks, each syllable creating a tortuous cadence against the overly sensitive bud.

“Yes, Toji.”

“Good girl. Are you ready?” The question was answered with a soft ‘yes’, and as fast as those words left your lips was he sinking into you.

“Fuck!” Was the first word uttered by both parties when he’d done so, the tightness — even if expected — had his hips stuttering, your walls squeezing him so mercilessly he could've cum right then and there.

“Oh my go- mm, shit.”

“You’re gripping me so tight, baby.” His exasperated laughter shoots a spark down your spine, one that has your nails digging into his biceps for support.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you talking like that. Makes me far too shy.” You mirror his lightheartedness, exhaling as you speak.

“Well,” he starts, nose tracing the curve of your jaw. “Let’s fuck that shyness out of you, shall we?”

tags: @gardenof-venus, @sailewhoremoon, @okhotel, @xharia, @chubbyblackthottie, @sakinotfound, @protectpancakes, @hoohoohope, @snake-titan

© poohbea, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, reupload or modify my work to other accounts and platforms. if you intend to translate any of my works please ask permission first ♡

[flowerslightning]

The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7

This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist

A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it

Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do

Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.

So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.

I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.

OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.

Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that

Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.

Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.

OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive

| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)

| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left

Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.

I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,

She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"

Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"

She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"

We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated

It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that

If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.

The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.

Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff

And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.

But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.

After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.

He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya

Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours

He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"

Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them

Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).

Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.

However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.

Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"

Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.