#i know im loud and ridiculous and hate talking over people but dont always know when to stop BECAUSE I DONT TALK TO PEOPLE OFTEN- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

katyasrussianaccent · 4 years ago

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you’re so golden (corpse x reader)

Summary: You’re a faceless youtuber that sings cover songs. What happens when a certain faceless streamer slides into your DMs after you cover one of his songs?

Authors note: Part 3 whoop! I havent written fic in 3 years so Im hoping this is okay. Its about 4000 words, super long, sorry. I also dont play Among Us, but hopefully its not too obvious. Lemme know what you think!

You're nervous, though you aren’t quite sure why. The kind of nervousness that spreads to your feet, causing you to tap your toes against the side of your sofa.

Call you in 15.

You look at the message again, staring at it till the screen goes blurry. Rubbing your eyes you exhale into the emptiness of your apartment; a feeble attempt at calming yourself down.

Logically it’s stupid to be nervous over a phone call. Logically you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, there are bigger things at hand. But you’re not a logical person, never have been. You’re all heart and emotion, both a blessing and a curse. There’s something intimate about a phone call, to have nothing but someone’s voice on the other end of the phone, talking to you and only you. It was a little scary; to think your purely online friendship with Corpse was going to be taken to a different level. You’re excited to think what that could mean.

“Fucking get it together,” you mutter to no-one as you exhale again, because there’s nothing else to do other than to wait and try to breath. There’s this frantic energy about you; like when you eat fizzy sweets, the flavour buzzing on your tongue. Your ancestors used to hunt wolves and here you were nervous over a single phone call.

The silence in your apartment’s too much now; too noisy. You grab your TV remote, clicking onto Spotify to find something. You’re scrolling so much, none of the artists feeling quite right for the moment before settling on Sufjan Stevens.

The dulcet tones fill the space, and for a brief second, you feel fine. You’re feeling relaxed and then your phone lights up.

Incoming Facetime Audio

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck” you say. Your face feels warm, your heart quickens in your chest. You could just ignore it, say you’re not feeling too good and that would be that, you wouldn’t have to do this. But it’s Corpse, you like Corpse and you’re kind of friends.

You swipe to accept the call, and press the button for speaker.

“Hey,” you say, cringing at the meek tone your voice has taken on.

“Hey,” Corpse’s deep voice rumbles through your tiny speaker, distorting slightly and you press the volume button to turn it down a little.

There’s a beat of silence, a beat too long, and you already hate how awkward this is. You’re not great at social stuff, the concept of being a social butterfly is almost foreign to you. And it’s not because you dislike people, it’s just you hate this; the small talk, the awkwardness before you get comfortable and can hold an actual conversation.

You suddenly remember a tip from your customer service days. “How are you?” you ask, plastering on a grin so wide that it must look borderline demented. Thank god you’re single.

“I’m okay thanks, how are you?” he asks.

You lounge back against the soft cushions of the sofa, lifting the phone up to your mouth as you do so. “I’m good, excited to be taught by the Among Us master.”

He snorts in disdain. “Hardly a master.”

You chew your lip before you speak again, “I dunno, people on the internet think you’re pretty good.”

He snorts again, and you smile at the sound. It’s not something you’ve heard from him before, through your hours of watching his streams, you’ve become accustomed to his voice and the noises he makes. But this one seems to be new. And maybe it’s the weird, selfish part of you that likes to think he’s only ever made that sound for you. You shake the thought out of your head, because really? Getting happy over a snort is really such a ridiculous thing to do.

“People on the internet say a lot of things.”

“True, but sometimes they speak the truth,” you reply, moving to get more comfortable; tucking your feet under your thighs. You wonder what he’s doing right now as he talks to you, is he sitting down? Or is he lying on his bed; his head propped up with pillows? There’s a brief flash of yearning, of wanting to be there in the same room as him, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared so you ignore it.

“Hm. We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Okay, you’re the boss Mr Husband.”

He chuckles softly, and again, you smile. You can feel yourself getting annoyed with yourself; you’re acting like a child with a crush; smiling at the phone. All you needed now was a notebook that had Mrs YN Husband written all over it.

“You know if you keep calling me that, we’re gonna have to get married,” he says, his voice a little lower than it was before. You blink and cock your head to the side, looking at an imaginary camera like you’re in The Office. Did you say that out loud? Is he...flirting with you? Sure, you’re flirty over Twitter, but it’s Twitter, Twitter isn’t real. There’s a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the mere prospect that he might actually be flirting with you.

“I’d be the best wife you could ever get,” you shoot back. There’s a brief second of silence before he answers, and you can hear shuffling on the other end. You want to ask what he’s doing, but you know it would break the conversation, and you’re curious to see where this goes.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” he asks, and you can picture the smirk in his voice. You have no idea what he looks like, no real care about it either, but you bet he’s got a beautiful smile. You bite your tongue before it tells him this, for once your brain actually works and stops you from making a fool out of yourself. It’s incredibly strange, how quickly he puts you at ease without a try, he’s just so naturally comforting. He’s not this flashy persona, he’s just a guy who likes to play video games and happens to be kinda good at them. And also has a voice that is literally like chocolate. Not just chocolate; dark chocolate. If dark chocolate could talk, it would sound like Corpse.

“Cos your girl can cook,” you say proudly, puffing out your chest a little. And that’s not a lie, you can cook. Okay, you’re not a Michelin starred chef, but you feel quite confident in the fact that Gordon Ramsey could eat your food, and probably (hopefully) wouldn’t scream that it was “fucking raw”.

“And what would you cook for me?” he asks.

You hum in thought for a second. “You’ll have to marry me first to find that out.”

He laughs, a proper laugh that settles in your stomach, spreading warmth through your chest. “I’ll think about it. I can hear music, what are you listening to?”

You straighten up a little, the question catching you off guard. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at the song that’s playing. It’s not his type of music, you’re almost positive about that. You almost don’t want to tell him out of embarrassment. You’re not sure why you feel embarrassed; you know Corpse isn’t an asshole, he wouldn’t make fun of you. But music is so personal to you, so personal, it’s like baring a piece of your soul; which sounds so fucking cliche, but it’s true.

“Uhhh...It’s called Make out in My Car by Sufjan Stevens,” you reply.

He hums in affirmation. “It sounds nice; from what I can hear.”

“I can turn it up?” you ask, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

“You could always sing some for me,” he offers.

You laugh a little, scrunching up your nose. “And why would I do that?”

“I thought you wanted to get married. You have to woo me,” he replies.

“Woo you?” you ask, your tone incredulous. This isn’t how you pictured the conversation going.

“Yeah. Woo me, yn.” he says, dragging out the “o” causing you to laugh again.

You sigh dramatically. “I haven’t warmed up or anything, it’s gonna sound so bad” you warn as you put the song to the beginning.

“I’m sure you sound great. Go ahead, woo me.”

You shake your head as you softly sing. “I'm not trying to go to bed with you, I just wanna make out in my car. And though I'm dying to fall in love with you, I just wanna make out in my car”. You stop and you’re suddenly very aware that you have essentially just serenaded him. Good going, brain.

It’s silent for a beat too long, and the smile that graced your lips starts to fade as the embarrassment starts to set in.

“Well now we definitely have to get married,” he affirms. And there’s that fluttery feeling again.

You swallow, moving the conversation swiftly onto Among Us. You grab your laptop that was next to you, humming in acknowledgement as he walks you through downloading it.

“So there’s a few of us joining us tonight, it should be really fun.”

“Oh. It’s not just us two?” you ask. You focus on the download, watching the number increase. You’re nervous at the prospect of playing with other people, strangers, for the first time.

“No, it’s a 4 player minimum. We’re going to stream as well.”

“Corpse…” you start. You begin to pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you do whenever you get really anxious. This was meant to just be a cute moment where you learnt how to play a game, not a big event where people would be actually watching you, judging your every move.

“We’re going to do a few games off stream with you, you don’t need to be there for the stream after if you don’t want to,” he interrupts.

“Okay,” you trail off, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. You feel a little better, but not by much. You didn’t know who the other people were, what if they hated you? You ask this out loud.

“I’ll be there. You know Rae and Sykkuno. Felix, Sean and Toast will be there but they’re super nice, I promise.” His voice is sincere, and it soothes you. You don’t know him, not really know him, but you trust Corpse. You know he has his own struggles, and you believe his promise; he wouldn’t screw you over or put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with.

The rest of the call is him taking you through how to play and how to set up something called Proximity Chat so everyone can talk to each other in the game. He says it’s easier once you actually play, and it doesn’t sound particularly hard quite honestly, you just hope you don’t get imposter on the first try because you’re not the greatest liar.

The game screen pops up, and you type in the code that Corpse gives you. You say goodbye to Corpse, who tells you to text him if you need any help. You drop into the game lobby, and you look at the little astronaut. There’s no time to dwell as a cacophony of voices hits you.

“YN!” Rae screeches and you chuckle at her enthusiasm. You’ve known Rae for a few years now, you met at college and had become fast friends. Though you had many different interests - gaming for one, you considered her your best friend. Rae was the type of friend where you didn’t need to talk every single day, you could message her a week later and it would be like no time had passed at all. And you loved that, sometimes you just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Sometimes your mood wasn’t the best, and you needed a little time to recharge. And she understood that, something that you were eternally grateful for.

“Raebies!” you screech back, using your “pet” name for her.

“I’ve been trying to get you to play forever. But Mr Smooth Operator over there slides into your DMs and suddenly you’re a gamer now?”

“It sounds so sordid when you say it like that,” you reply.

“Hi yn! Glad to see you playing with us,” Sykkuno says. You greet him and the others, making sure to say hi to everyone in the game. You didn’t want to start off by being accidentally rude. You listen as everyone talks amongst each other, and you talk when spoken to, but you aren’t interjecting. It wasn’t anything against the other players, it was just a little overwhelming, and you were figuring out what everyone was like.

“Hello,” Corpse’s voice interrupts your train of thought and you greet him along with everyone else.

“Aw, I wanted purple,” you say, frowning at Corpse’s name above the astronaut.

“We can switch,” he replies.

“No it’s o -” you start to speak before you realise he’s already switched to white. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You smile as you switch to purple, and you decide to add a flower for a little pizzazz.

“It’s your first game, I’ll kill you if I get imposter so it’ll even out,” he jokes and everyone laughs. The countdown begins and you puff your cheeks out, exhaling as it gets to 1. You’re nervous again, a seemingly common theme of the night. Your shoulders relax as the word CREWMATE flashes across the screen.

You watch as everyone but Corpse disperses from the cafeteria with haste, and you look at the keyboard to press the buttons to move.

“You ever see an old person text? That’s how I’m picturing you right now,” Corpse says as you walk together to Weapons.

“Shut up Sonny,” you reply in your best old woman voice, getting a laugh. You open up the task, shooting the Asteroids with ease. “Yay, I completed a task!”

“Good job,” Corpse replies, and you beam at the praise. You move down to o2, doing your task while Corpse does his.

“Wait, you could be imposter right? How would I know?” you ask as you walk together to Navigation.

“You wouldn’t, you just have to trust me,” he says, his voice full of charm.

You scowl. “Well that just makes me not want to trust you.”

Before he replies, there’s a blaring alarm. DEAD BODY REPORTED. You blink at the suddenness; you were really enjoying the relaxing pace of the game. You look at the screen; Felix has been killed.

“Who found the body?” Corpse asks.

“I did,” Rae answers. “I was in admin, and was going to lower engine and it was there in storage.”

“If you were in admin, why didn’t you go up through Cafeteria?” Toast asks.

“Because it’s quicker to go through storage,” Rae replies. They argue between themselves, and you listen intently and silently. It’s a lot of information, you can’t tell whose lying, but you guess that’s what makes a good player.

“Where were you yn?” Sean quizzes, and it takes you a second to realise you’re being spoken to.

“Oh. I was in um o2?”

“You don’t sound too sure there, pretty sus,” he says. Your face heats up a little, you’re not the imposter, but it feels like you are.

“She was in o2 and then we went to Navigation,” Corpse answers, and you breathe out as he takes on the interrogation.

“Oh you were together?” Rae asks, and you know that tone she’s got. It’s the tone that says she’ll be messaging you right away.

“Well yeah, it’s her first game, I’m not gonna leave her alone,” he says and you smile at that.

“Yeah we’ve been together the whole time,” you add and it’s left at that. No-one votes anyone out, since no-ones really too suspicious. You carry on the game, and you find yourself really enjoying it, though the questioning part is kind of stressful. You can see why Corpse likes it so much, it’s really fun. You’re in electrical, humming as you do your task when Rae comes next to you.

“Hey,” you greet her.

“I’m sorry, nothing personal,” she replies. Before you have a chance to say a word, she kills you and you look on in shock as your ghost floats above your body. You listen into the meeting as Rae continues to lie and plead her case. She’s good, but Corpse knows better.

“Wait, you said you found her in electrical and you were where?”

“I was in Upper Engine, and then I went to electrical to do my task,” Rae answers, her voice even and calm.

“I was in Lower Engine, and I didn’t see you,” Corpse says, and you grin at the fact Rae’s been found out. That’s what she gets for killing you.

“You were doing your task, I passed right by you,” Rae starts. She pleads her case, but it’s too late and she’s voted out.

“That was so much fun!” you declare. “I can see why you guys play it all the time.”

“Yes! We have converted another!” Felix shouts in victory.

“And all it took was Corpse,” Rae mutters sarcastically.

“Don’t get bitter Rachel, just get better,” you reply, causing the group to laugh.

You get the hang of it after a few games, and find yourself agreeing to stay while the others stream, though you decide against it yourself. You’ve only streamed once by yourself, and it was a very casual affair and you don’t want to feel too much pressure while you enjoy yourself. You know that Corpse gets nervous when he streams and he’s been doing it for so much longer, so you can only imagine how nervous you would be.

You tap your fingernails against the keyboard as the lobby counts down, any previous nerves have been replaced with excitement.

IMPOSTER flashes across. You’re the only one, your astronaut looks lonely on the screen by itself, and the red letters almost taunt you.

“Shit,” you mutter as your brain goes into overdrive. What was it Corpse had said before? Not to be too obvious. You don’t kill immediately, instead going at your previous pace to not look too suspicious. You were still fairly new to the game, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

You fake your task in Cafeteria before venting over to Navigation where Toast was.

“Hi Toast!” you greet, coming to stand next to him as you pretend you’re doing the task.

“Oh hey yn,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he suspects you, and you’re not quite sure when to click the Kill button. You do it anyway before running out and going down and into shields. There’s adrenaline running through you as the dead body’s reported and you crack your knuckles before putting on your game face. You were going to play dumb, play the confused newbie - because to them, that’s what you were.

“YN, where were you?” Corpse asks. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t going to get away with this.

You twiddle your hair as you draw out your words, playing the role perfectly. “Uhm I was in...shields? I think that’s what it’s called. I was in the cafeteria before that though.”

“Wait, you couldn’t have, I was in weapons. I would have seen you,” Sykkuno says.

You open your mouth to talk. “She could have vented,” Felix comments, and the rest of the group starts to agree.

“Guys, I don’t even know what venting is. I literally just started playing,” you point out, giggling.

“That’s true,” Rae agrees and you knew there was a reason you loved her.

“Bullshit! She’s playing you with her “oh I don’t know how to play” schtick,” Felix proclaims.

“Aw, that’s kind of rude, Felix. I’m just enjoying the game, doing the tasks,” you say, pouting a little. He’s the next on your list.

Everyone skips the vote and you lean over your laptop, ready for the next round. You were going to win this. You kill Rae and Toast next, and yet again, manage to worm your way out of any suspicion. You can sense that Corpse and Felix are starting to get suspicious of you, and you know you need to bring out the big guns to throw them off.

You catch Sykkuno in Med Bay after checking the cams in Security.

“Hi yn!” he greets, and you almost feel guilty as you kill him. He’s so sweet and innocent, but unfortunately, casualties are a given. You pass Felix as he comes out of reactor and it’s only a matter of time before you’ll have to talk your way out of this one again.

“I passed yn as I came out of reactor,” Felix shouts with a hint of glee.

You roll your eyes; this is going to be tough. “Yeah I came from Upper Engine, I was finishing part 2 of a task.”

“I was in Electrical, where was the body?” Corpse asks.

“Med Bay. And the only one that could’ve been there was yn,” Felix starts.

“Well no, you could have passed me and killed Sykkuno then self reported,” you reply. “I think you can do that right?”

Corpse hums in agreement. “Oh come on! She’s being really sus,” Felix argues.

“You are being a little sus yn,” Corpse comments.

“Corpse. You don’t really think it’s me do you?” You decide to lower your voice a little, your tone sweet but sultry. “You only taught me like an hour ago, there’s no way I’d be able to fool everybody so quickly.” You get close to the mic so it’s like you’re speaking only to Corpse. “Remember what I said? You’re a master at this.” You’re laying it on thick, and for a brief second you think you’ve been too over the top.

“This is difficult,” Corpse says, and you see the seconds count down, your heartbeat starts to quicken.

“Corpse, stop being a fucking simp and vote her out!” Felix demands.

“Corpsie baby,” you drawl out and you smile in success as you hear him sigh, almost shakily. You’ve got this in the bag. The victory screen flashes up and you cheer.

“Fuck yeah!” you shout, patting yourself on the back. You laugh as you exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Good game yn!” Sykkuno comments, the others agreeing.

“Not fair, you used your womanly wiles against Corpse,” Felix says.

“Gotta use them for something. Not my fault Corpse knows where his allegiance lies,” you reply laughing a little.

You stretch, your back crying out in pain from being hunched over so long. You let out a long, loud moan of relief as you straighten your spine, your shoulders relaxing as you move from side to side.

“Your mic’s not muted” Corpse points out, clearing his throat. You feel your stomach drop and your face instantly becomes hot. Shit.

“Oh. Uh. I totally forgot about that,” you say, forcing out a chuckle. You screw your eyes shut, any happiness has been now replaced by red hot shame. “So this was fun, uh, really fun, but um, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go. So...yeah. Bye guys, have fun!”

You click to exit without giving anyone a chance to say a word, and drop your head into your hands.

“Can’t wait to see what they say on Twitter about this,” you mutter into your hands.

TAGLIST (if youre bold, it wont let me tag): @teenageguitarist @fanworrior @cherry-piee @mirahg @clara-bee @cookinglovingalien @vir-tual @clubfairy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @more-like-reyna @boiled-onionrings @moneybagmgk @brendalopez99 @delicateavenuenacho @dreamsofficialwife @hydrate-tion @little-red02

#my fic #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband/reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband x yn #corpse x you #corpse husband x you #corpse x fem reader #corpse x reader #corpse fic #corpse smau #corpse imagine

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 4 years ago

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bakugou thoughts pt 2001847471 :)))

- if u go to the park, and somebody is like, walking their dog n the animal barks at y’all??? bakugou is barking back. mans full on squares up, n barks at the dog until it backs off

- he rarely gets into shows/series, but when he finds one he likes, he’ll only watch the first few episodes and then make u watch the rest with him. he’ll always say sum “if i dont watch with you, then i gotta make extra time for your needy ass. ‘m prioritizing my fuckin’ time. it doesn’t mean anything, shut up.” ...... he’s lying. it does mean something. it means he wants to share the things he likes with u

- pls he’s so smart, and generally pretty aware, but sometimes he’ll just do something so duMb. like, u kno that thing that happens sometimes with hair?? like, when it sticks to ur fingers and no matter what u do, u can’t get it off?? bakugou is literally breaking his wrist a foot away from u, shaking his hand back and forth and cursing soooo loudly. u just gotta go up to him and gently remove the hair from him like “oh honey- no.”

- peanut gallery comments. lots of them. mans will sit fully dead silent, not talking for the whOle day, but the second u do something embarrassing?? like trip??? suddenly he has a LOT to say ..... smh men

- animals just always like him. its absolutely unexplainable bc he’s so loud n moves super suddenly,,, but the amount of street animals that follow him home is ridiculous. srsly. sometkmes he even has other people’s pets trying to follow him home

- respects absolutely no one n that somehow strangely makes him the most respectful u’ve ever seen??? like- he hates everyone the exact same so u won’t ever catch bakugou in an act of discrimmination

- he can’t draw at all but if u asked him to draw something, it’ll be the same skull every single time. it’s a good skull, but it’s soooo obvious he learned how to draw it from a tutorial in the midst of his emo phase

- will fully make fun of others for baby-talking around their s/o, n then just fully go home n look at you like “tired.” “hungry.” “kiss.”...... like okay baby man, maybe try putting a full sentence together before u start trying to run your mouth. hypocrite.

- probably sleeps like the dead. contrary to popular belief, i absolutely do not believe he’s up at every single noise. man’s could sleep thru an explosion, im sure of it. that being said tho, it’s probably actually hard for him to turn his brain off n fall asleep. he prob goes to bed so “early” bc he has to wind down for a good hr or two until he’s ready to actually sleep

- he’s got a vendetta against salespeople. like, if his phone rings with some bullshit about a product? if somebody, god forbid, tries to walk up to your door? fully frothing at the mouth annoyed. will chew out any employee who’s too underpaid not to listen to him

- eats like an absolute animal. no rlly, its bad. holds his spoon with a fist and digs at his meal like its the gold rush. the worst table manners you’ve ever seen rlly

- he gets sorts antsy if he sits for too long, so he’s always off doing random shit. like, u’ll look out the window n he’s just like, raking the .3 leaves from ur driveway, probably trying to guess where the wind will be so they wont blow back

- ik this with my heart and soul okay,,, bakugou has never had a conversation with u that wasnt from exactly .2 meters away. like,, if he’s comfortable, then he’s just close all the time. like he’s waving his hands around and yelling and you just have to take his face in ur hands and go “im literally right here. ily but pls tone it down for the sake of my hearing.”

- very much guard dog behavior when y’all go out. absolutely will not leave ur side for even a second, like, at a bar or during a concert. even if u go to the bathroom he’s like, leaning against the wall and waiting right outside the door

- gets absolutely bitchy about your phone blowing up while you’re hanging out. its not that he’s suspicious that ur, like, cheating on him, it’s just that he doesnt understand why u’d even leave ur phone on in the first place since he always has his turned off when ur around. if he gets annoyed enough he’ll fully take the phone out of ur hands, say sum “yeah, you don’t fuckin’ need this anymore. you’re done with this.” n toss it across the room while he kisses u senseless

- tbh his ultimate love language is 100% playfighting. v much would go heart eyes if u even seemed like u might try n wrestle him. obvi u dont win, but his favorite is how u laugh while he pins ur hands above ur head

- he sneers at other angry people. will fully, fully sit there like “jesus christ, they need to calm the hell down. annoying as shit- fuckin’ loud too.” ....... -i. who’s gonna tell him

- silent conversations with ur eyes. no rlly. if y’all are with friends and somebody says something questionable, bakugou is immeadiately turning to u, eyes hardly even shifting but u just know he’s hurling insults in his head

- he doesnt realize his own strength sometimes. like- he knows he’s strong, but if u ever open a door n ur like “woah, careful, this is heavier than it looks” bakugou is .2 steps behind u practically ripping the damn thing off it’s hinges. he’ll look at it, huffing like he doesn’f even understand the issue

- he rlly likes when u call him by his name. pet names are fine, but he srsly is super soft for the simple stuff. like when u look over at him, all excited, smile wide like “hey katsuki, u gotta see this! c’mere!”

- his road rage is severe. no rlly. bakugou drives like every day is a race n he’s one win away from going formula one. you’re pretty sure that the only reason he passed his license test is bc the instuctor was too terrified to tell him no

- bakugou probably does that thing where if you’re sitting on the counter top, watching him cook, he’ll stand between ur legs. hands on ur thighs or resting on ur hips while you tell him about your day

- can’t explain this one, but he doesnt kill spiders. he takes them outside. says sum “they eat ticks, idiot. what- you actually want a fuckin’ blood disease? Hah? ‘m not gonna kill it. motherfucker’s gotta earn his keep before dyin’ just like the rest of us.” while he v gently picks the spider up into his hand and walks it outside

- ik that his one cheat food is sugary cereal. like, he’s a health freak, but the one thing he can’t help but make a concession for is sugary cereal on the weekends

- he’ll sometimes get in this over-stimulated mood where everything pisses him off, n the only thing u can do is leave him alone. u learn this quick bc his anger doesn’t discrimminate and if u push him even after he tells u what’s up?? pls bakugou will lash tf out. at u. like, ik y’all like to write it but that whole “it’s okay- it’s just me. just look at me.” thing does not work with him,,, u literally gonna get merc’d if u try

- he’s probably a guy who’s gonna be super big on passing touches. like he drops his hand on ur head when he passes, or bumps his shoulder into urs when he laughs. no footsies tho. too sappy even for him- pls if u tried to initate that he’d crush ur toes under the table aHAHAHA

- feeds every street cat he comes across. is probably super fond of the ones with a bunch of scratches/scars on them. he’d die if u knew, but one time u caught him feeding a scratched up calico n going “bet u beat his stupid ass, right? that’s my girl. we always win, huh?”

—/—

surprise suprise,, my brain rlly never shuts the hell up about this man

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #mha bakugou #bakugou headcannon #bakugou hcs #mha headcannons #mha hcs

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hisuianwilds · 3 years ago

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unexpected day (espresso/madeleine)

do you ever impulsively write an espresseleine fic or is it just me dont mind all the typo, english aint my first language and im running on a 5 hours night :pensive: if??? you got crk fics or hcs idea feel free to request and mayhaps i will do it, squints - word count: 1,017 || cw: none (it’s just cringe)

That day was a sunny day. Espresso hates sunny days. All those people outside, wasting their time in the hot weather, he just not get it. The dark haired mage was locked inside his laboratory, attentively tracing lines from his previous works and experiments in a more neat way than before. It could sound weird, but by the day, Espresso was more and more studious on experiments and was reworking on his old ones. He felt like something was missing, of course he could've never forget to write things on his books, but he had that sentiment of not having dug enough on some subjects. While tracing the most important line from the coffee magic pentagram, he heard a somewhat loud door-clacking. He didn't paid much attention; "People are being loud again, it's ok." he whispered under his breath, still tracing the line precisely. He then heard a so ridiculously high pitched greeting; Espresso, who got surprised broke his pencil tip, and with that movement, breaking the magic circle. He wasn't one to swear, but looking at his circle failed and miserable, he couln't help but let anger take over him and pronouncing an harsh "WHAT. THE. FUCK?", his surprise invitee got surprised. Well, that was awkward, when Espresso looked at who was in front of him, it was Madeleine, the light knight. They were complete opposites - but still had to work with each other from times to times. So odten that Madeleine problaimed the black haird man as his "best friend" - The said man wasn't very hyped about it, he wasn't fond of any kind of relationships, he was pretty much of a loner. When the platine blond boy directed his sight at what was the mage doing, he starred, confused, "is that my fault?" he pointed the huge mark going from the middle to the bottom of the paper pinned to an architect table, like a violent scratch. Espresso nodded - from his facial expression, we could tell he was pissed off to an extreme level. Throwing a glance at Madeleine, he asked "Why are you here for?", "Well, I wanted to spend time with you-" before he could even finish, the coffee mage exclaimed "Oh you do? Wonderful! You'll be able to help me with stuff out here right? Even stay up all night if it's needed! You're gonna help me redo what I failed!" (he litteraly had a "^_^" face). The silky-haired boy looked at him like his brain was empty, he did not know what to reply for once. Madeleine was extravagant, prideful and talkative boy. But with Espresso it was different - he fell kind of fond of the other since he met him, was it because he had such a charisma? was it because he finally found someone capable of calming him down? Madeleine was always so stunned in Espresso presence, the way he looks, the way he walks, the way he speaks, in every possible way, that dark haired boy was so beautiful to the eyes of the other. Of course it was only a man being proud of his best friend. At least that was what Madeleine was repeating to himself. Espresso waved in front of the blond's face, he did not notice he zoned out. "Yeah I'll help you", he was still kind of lost in his throughts, he didn't notice he was doomed by saying that. The dark heired mage pointed him to a chair, "Sit there", then handing him a book, "Read me the formulas here, please." even if he already knew most of the book word for word he wanted to make the other useful - The sat up guy opened up the part of the book the other showed him and shook his head when he realized, "What? Are you serious?" He wasn't sure he could read all those complicated words, "There's so many pages!". His host looked at him jaded. "Yeah.". They blinked looking at each other for a good 5 seconds when one broke the silence "Are you going to read or what?" Madeleine in a panicky movement grabbed the book in a way to be comfortable reading. Espresso's handwritting was beautiful, and easy to read. He started mumbling a few words the mage was still able to understand. Writting down what he was hearing, he was focused - when Madeleine looked at him in a distraction moment, he saw the mage writting down standing well even though the table was kind of low. "You look beautiful" - He saw Espresso pause for a moment before he tilted his head up "What?", he caught Madeleine blushing and then got that he did not misheard anything. "Please continue reading" he insisted, which the other nodded and went back to. When they were finally done, Espresso only had to trace back the circle he previously tried to do. But that's something he'd prefer doing alone and at calm, so he straightent up and stretched so his back wouldn't pay the consequences of standing for so long. "Thank you." he said, not looking at the other man and re-reading what he wrote to be sure there was no mistakes. "No problems, that's the least I could do. It was nice seeing you work.", "Really?" he paused; "Oh yeah, regarding what you said earlier- huh, thank you I suppose. You look kind of good too." Madeleine would've fell if he wasn't sitting. A compliment? From Espresso? The Divine must've really been watching over them at this moment, he thought. His face was so red, he mumbled a "I think i shall go now aha" and Espresso shook his head up and down to agree with the informaion he just gave. The blond haired guy almost went away running, waving at his so called "best friend". The coffee mage looked at him go. "Maybe he's not just my best friend" one thought, "I'm glad I failed my circle" the other said to himself. Both of them loved that day even though it didn't go as planned for either of the boys. But they were both awkwardly smilling alone thinking about the other. (now if you read until here, add me as friend on cookie run kingdom im lonely. kingdom’s name is boguette and i got a clover cookie pfp)

#fanfiction #madeleine cookie #espresso cookie #espresseleine #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #i hate it here ctually #crk #the gays cookies !!!!!! again

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kiribakuficrecs · 4 years ago

Note

hello!!! im going on a very long trip at the end of april and I'm looking for some very long fics to download to keep me entertained! i dont care what they're about as long as there's no major character death or mentions of non-con. ur blog is a godsend ilysm and you do such a good job thank you so much 🙏

hi there!! i definitely have a lot of good lengthy fics i can recommend to you!

quote love unquote by newamsterdam

Sero nods. “It’s the chance of a lifetime, really,” he says. “We want you to date Bakugou, for the sake of his reputation with the press. Some public appearances, a few ‘candid’ photos. For at least a couple of months.”

“Bakugou sent you to ask me to date him?” Kirishima asks, baffled.

“Of course not. We, his people, are asking you to date him. He’s going to have to get on board, if he wants his career to survive. And in the bargain, Riot will get all sorts of publicity, because their lyricist will be dating one of the industry’s hottest stars. A win for everyone.”

When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.

acceptance and denial by poteto

It all goes okay when Kirishima decides to come out to his friends and it all goes wrong when decides that Bakugou is the best fake boyfriend material.

cause the darks not taking prisoners tonight by imatrisarahtops

“Are those soba noodles?” Kirishima asked.

Again Bakugou’s only reply was a grunt. He offered no further explanation—not that Kirishima honestly expected one—as though making soba noodles from scratch at half past four in the morning wasn’t at all a bizarre occurrence and made complete and total sense. For a fleeting moment, Kirishima even wondered if maybe he was the odd one here. Besides, he’d already decided it was generally not in his best interest to question these types of things with Bakugou, especially when it was something essentially harmless.

When Kirishima has a nightmare and is unable to fall back asleep, he accepts defeat and decides to study in the common area of the dorms. What he doesn't expect to find is Bakugou, also very much awake, and Kirishima can't help but think that maybe they're both having the same problems with sleeping. If he's worried, it's just because they're friends. (Right?)

the weight of your hand by kamin

That night, to the citizens, the explosions were a jolt of fear at every blast, but to the heroes and the students of UA, they were punches and swings, fierce fighting and loud strength. The explosions were the pulse of the battle, and the power of a boy that would never back down.

One after another, explosions set a chorus through the shuddering city.

And then, suddenly—the explosions stopped.

(In which Bakugou’s kidnapping goes a little differently, and just a few seconds could change so much.)

so take my hand (your life will be brighter) by multiclassmaps

When a stranger shows up at the ice rink during Bakugou's usually private training sessions, Bakugou expects to hate him. He doesn't expect to develop feelings that become increasingly difficult to deny, or for them to help each other sort through their emotional baggage. - Bakugou really didn't like Kirishima's smile. There was something about it that made his stomach hurt, something about it that made it difficult to focus. He definitely hadn't thought about that smile on his way to the ice rink that day. He definitely hadn't.

distance makes the heart grow fonder (false) by dragontrappedinhumanskin

When Bakugo and Kirishima get hit by a quirk that forces them to literally stick together or face the less then desirable consequences, how the fuck is Bakugo supposed to keep his crush hidden?! Well, turns out he never needed to.

-- “Well, this fucking sucks, how are we supposed to train?!” "Really closely?"

perihelion by tauontauoff

Bakugou was a comet, blazing out of reach. Kirishima knew he was stupidly lucky that his furious trajectory went by close enough that his fingertips got to graze the cowl of fire. It was enough.

During Christmas Class 1A and 1B spend a laid-back week learning about extreme environment hero work in the Alps. Kirishima was used to keeping part of his feelings for Bakugou hidden, and had every intention of keeping it that way, but things don't always go according to plan.

fight me by mr_todoroki

Bright red, spiky hair. Annoyingly bright smile. Clothes that radiate ‘look at me’ vibes. Neon yellow tank top with black shorts. And those were definitely crocs on his fucking feet.

Yeah, Katsuki hated this guy.

Bakugou gets a new roommate.

quietly by chezka

“We’ve been taking the same way to and from school for weeks,” Kirishima grinned, and then when Bakugou frowned at him he put on an affected pout, tilted his head so that he was looking at him through his thick, long lashes, “you never noticed? Am I that easy to miss?”

He could barely finish the sentence before a laugh escaped his lips, and Bakugou rolled his eyes, hit him with a shoulder a little more violently than necessary.

“You stick out like a sore thumb, broom-head,” he grumbled, promptly ignoring Kirishima's whining about his hairstyle when it started coming, “I didn’t notice ‘cause I didn’t care.”

“And now you do?”

everyone knows that cats are independent by purplepersnickety

Eijirou enjoys his job, working the graveyard shift at a 24/7 coffee shop. His daemon Riot is always there to keep him company, and he likes meeting the early-morning patrons and giving them the best possible kick-start to their day. It's been his routine for about a year now.

Then one day, a grouchy guy with a daemon in the form of a lion walks into the shop in the dead of night, and Eijirou decides to strike up a conversation with him.

punks not dead by wrunic

“So you want to use me to piss off your mom?” Kirishima summarized, raising one pierced eyebrow at Katsuki.

“Look, if you want to be all fucking judgy about it, I take cash,” Katsuki said, dropping his hand palm up on the table.

“Hey now,” Kirishima said, raising his hands in surrender, “I didn’t say I wasn’t doing it. I’m always down for a little chaos.” He flashed a grin, showing off his ridiculous shark teeth.

“Good,” Katsuki said. “We start tomorrow."

sent, delivered, read, loved by kiribakuhappiness

Kirishima E. [6.49pm]: ur okay for such an angry dude bakugou! :)

Bakugou K. [7.12pm]: FUCK YOU!

Kirishima E. [7.14pm]: haha! :D ttyl!

Bakugou K. [7.48pm]: FUCKING WHAT DO THOSE DUMB LETTERS MEAN???

Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: I JUST LOOKED IT UP DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME LATER!

Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: STOP TXTING ME!!!

- OR -

Bakugou's and Kirishima's relationship develops from classmates to friends to more, as told through their text conversations.

flicker by mr_todoroki

He was starting to feel depressed. Life was so uninteresting. It was so mundane and forgettable. He had no one to hang out with besides Kota, his family didn’t even live in the city.

He grew his hair out as some sort of rebellion, some sort of stand to make his life the slightest bit more interesting. But he could already feel himself giving in to the pressure of cutting it. He needed to work to live. Without a job, he’d truly have nothing.

Kirishima never applied to UA, therefore never became a hero.

let’s get down to business by kjelfalconer

Katsuki Bakugou, one of the brightest rising stars on wall street, is in need of a new personal assistant. Again. Could Eijirou Kirishima finally be the one to last more than two months?

Katsuki's long suffering HR department sure hope so.

something about us by bigstupidjellyfish

nothing like being in highschool and having no idea how to deal with emotions

fireproof by inkbender

Four years after a classmate nobody seems to remember is kidnapped by the League of Villains, Kirishima drags an amnesiac hobo he found washed up on the beach into his apartment, attempts to teach him how to adult (with varying degrees of success), and discovers along the way that the line between heroism and villainy is quite fine indeed. Plot-divergent after episode 45, the Forest Training Camp arc.

blood riot by magicallee (alternatively)

Kirishima from a universe with no quirks is mind-swapped with an alternate universe version of himself where there are superpowers.

And in that universe he’s a super villain.

And Bakugou is the superhero who caught Evil-Kirishima and put him in prison.

blindside by drowclericpelor

“You’re the first guy friend I’ve had that I can just like, be friends with. You’re either the most unthirstiest boy ever...” Camie shrugged and made another wobbly illusion appear between her hands. It looked like a sparkly rainbow with the word ‘friendship’ beneath it, accompanied by what Bakugou assumed was supposed to be a twinkling sound effect, but it had a tinny quality to it and sounded far away. “...or I just ain’t got the kinda straw you like to ssssip.”

Carefully, Bakugou considered the strange turn this conversation had taken.

He had never been asked, point blank, if he was gay before. And he honestly had never thought about how he would respond. Lying about himself didn’t sit right with him. But he’d always wanted to wait until he was the number one hero - when he stood above everyone else - before coming out. Though he’d had times when he’d thought about doing it before then and had almost gone through with it once. But being the number one hero came first. It wouldn’t matter what people would say about it then as long as he’d risen to the top.

Bakugou knew his lack of a response would give Camie all the answers she needed.

flour power by wingsonghalo

“I’m telling you now, Shitty Hair,” the blonde growled, “I am not gonna play house with you. We will cart this stupid flour around for a week like the assignment says. But some of our idiot classmates are naming the thing and setting up ‘playdates’ and dressing it and I am not doing anything that stupid. Got it?”

Kirishima and Bakugou are paired up to take care of a flour sack for a week. It would be so simple, except nothing with Bakugou is ever simple. Also Kirishima might be kinda sorta completely head over heels for him.

sunchaser by chonideno

that feeling when you suddenly want to jump off a cliff for no reason but instead of a cliff it’s your best friend and instead of jumping it’s growing feelings out of nowhere

or how Bakugou has to try really hard not to throw everything to the wind, and Kirishima doesn't help

i also have a tag specifically for fics that reach somewhere between 30k-70k words long if you wanted to check that out as well! i hope you enjoy the fics here and that i was able to help, ily enjoy your trip!!! :D

#kiribaku fic rec #kiribaku #answered

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ughitsnic · 4 years ago

Text

Remember when: Chris Evans

Over 2k words... which a hell of a lot for me. i dont really know what i was doing with this one but i had fun writing it. angst? yeah kinda

It was never Chris' fault, he was so caring and full of love but that was just who he was. It was that you were in a relationship that felt forced and that was moving way too fast and way too public for both of your liking. It was tough on you where as before you would happily go places together, baseball games, go out for food get a drink, walk the dogs. But now? Everyone was watching over analyzing the headlines were ridiculous people conspiring about an inevitable break up because you both looked stressed.

"Hey" you sigh, putting the groceries down on kitchen island and kicking off your shoes. "Im home!" No answer. You take your time unpacking and putting everything away neatly in the fridge. You shut the door and look at the polaroid picture stuck on by a mickey mouse fridge magnet. A picture of you and Chris from when you were younger at disney in front of the epcot ball, vanilla ice cream allover your faces. You smile, you couldn't remember much from the trip because you were both only 8 but you did remember telling each other you were going to be best friends forever.

"Did you get stuff for waffles?" Chris questions, walking in only in his gray sweatpants.

"Yep, I got whipped cream, strawberries, blueberries and chocolate syrup" you tell him, putting the picture back up.

"God I love you" he mumbles, kissing your cheek and getting a bottle of water out the fridge.

"Do you remember this?" You question.

"I remember you crying on the tower of terror"

"No i didn't” you say defensively”

“Yes you did, you didn't stop crying for like half an hour!” he laughs

“At least i didn't piss my pants!" You fire back, laughing.

"Hey! I didn't piss my pants" he groans.

"Yes you did!"

"No it was a tiny bit" he stresses.

"So you pissed"

"Y/N stop" he laughs. "I'm still embarrassed" his cheeks pink.

"Shut up pissypants" you giggle

"Y/n!" he drags out, pouting.

"What are you gonna do tell your mum?" You question.

"I might" he shrugs, finishing his water.

"Oh please do" you laugh.

"Stop i was like 5"

"We were 8!"

"So! You know what" he points trying to hold back his laughter. "I didn't forget when we had that sleepover and you had that sex dream about Jackson and you woke me up sleep talking" your cheeks burn.

"Oh my god shut up" you cover your face.

"Oooo Jackson" he says in a high pitch voice.

"It wasn't a sex dream" you stress. "Fine. Remember when..." you trail off, you lock eyes, both widening knowing you're thinking of the same thing.

"Dont!"

"When you had sex with Jessica and you only lasted 20 seconds!"

"We both know that isn't the case anymore" he winks trying to play it cool but you can read him like a book and the pained expression on his face let you know that he was dying on the inside, thinking back.

"How old were you again?" You tease

"Baby, stop it" he begs.

"Okay, i'll stop" you stomach hurt from laughing so much. "I wonder if Jessica remembers?" You ponder walking over to give him a hug and to tease him even more.

"You're the worst" he mumbles against your hair letting out a little laugh.

"I heard she has kids now, so does Jackson," he says quietly. You press your lips together pulling away.

"I think i'm going to go take a shower before you make those waffles" you say quietly, the entire mood shifting. He just nods. That was the thing it was great, brilliant even, when you joked around and just hung out until actual relationship stuff came up, like the subject of kids. The plan was always for yours and Chris's kids to be best friends just like you two were because both of your moms were. The plan never was to have kids together, the plan was never to start dating in the first place.

"Can I join you?" Chris questions snapping you back to reality. You really had no clue if Chris felt the same about this whole thing.

"Another time?"

"I promise I'll last longer than 30 seconds" he smiles.

"Who said anything about that?" You question biting back a smile. You could never say no. He was just mind blowing in bed, on the couch, on and against the counter top, in the back seat of the car, the shower was no exception. In fact this entire thing started because you both decided, wine drunk, that you should sleep together. You were both fresh out of relationships, both sad and horny. And when people saw you leaving the guest room they assumed you were secretly together, so you both decided to give it a try. You were just 'testing the waters' and to start with it was perfect for everything you could want but now? You just wanted your best friend but if you did break up would there be a friendship?

“Are you being serious right now Chris?” you were so angry.

“What?” he questions confused. Is he being for real?

“In that interview you said you were hoping to have kids in the near future!”

“Whats the issue, we’ve been together for over a year y/n, we aren’t getting any younger!” he stresses. “I do want kids, and you want kids but what is your problem? Is it me?” he questions, he looked heart broken. “Why don’t you want a family with me?”

“I’m just not ready yet Chris, i don’t want to rush things” you lie… well was it a lie? You wanted to wait and see if this was even going to work out.

"I’ve known you all your life i know when you're lying! Do you know how embarrassing it is when there's pictures of your girlfriend ducking out the way so i don’t kiss you? Its fucking embarrassing y/n you need to figure out what you want from me because i’m starting to think we both have very different priorities!" Chris shouts, you reach for his arm as he tries to leave. "Just give me some space"

At night you lay on opposite ends of the bed despite both of you being cuddlers.

"Whats on your mind?" You question, watching him chew at his lip.

"Nothing just tired" he lies.

"I know when you're lying" you sit up.

"And i know when you’re lying" he snaps. "I’m sorry" he quickly apologizes before wiping his eyes. "I’m sorry that i don’t make you happy" his voice was unsteady.

"You do make me happy" you crawl across the bed and pull him into a tight embrace, his head resting on your shoulder.

"You can be honest with me" he mumbles, running his fingers through your hair. "I see you pull your hand away when i go to hold it, i see how you cringe when i call you baby" he sounded heart broken.

"Chris" you whisper, your own heart breaking because you knew exactly where this was going.

"No don’t lie, i know you hate that we cant go anywhere with out people taking pictures and over analyzing everything we do. I see how you dodge the subject of babies and i know you want one" he sighs. "But not with me and that’s okay... I’m sorry but i don’t think i can do this anymore. I love you y/n i really do but i’m not in love with you" he lifts his head up to look at you, his eyes already red and puffy

"I-I don’t want to lose you" Your eyes sting and he just sighs, you felt as though you couldn’t breath. Even though you knew this would be the outcome it didnt hurt any less.

"You wont" he assures.

"What? Are we just going to look back in 10 years and be like wow remember the time you ate my coochie for like an hour and we pretended to love each other" you try to lighten the mood despite the heavy flow of tears from the both of you.

"You really do have a way with words y/n, but exactly" he forces a smile, despite his cheeks being stained with fresh tears. "Or remember the time when i lasted way long than 30 seconds" you let out a shaky laugh.

"I cant believe you’re breaking up with me" you mumble.

"If you want, you can break up with me?" He questions

"Remember the time i dumped your ass?"

"I do i cried like a baby just like you did when we watched marley and me for the first time" he reminisces

"Hey" you nudge his shoulder playfully. "You cried at that movie too"

"I did" he frowns. "Its a sad movie"

"I know bub. But what do we do now?"

"I don’t know. Do you want to spend some time apart?" He asks and you shrug. Usually after a break up you would find your self at Chris's house for a week or to or vice versa.

"I- I just broke up with a really amazing guy and i really need my best friend right now" you start to cry all over again. "Because i don’t want to lose him"

"You’ll never lose me" Chris whispers, now holding you in his arms rubbing circles on your back. "I love you"

"Ouch too soon" you joke wiping your tears again.

"I love you, platonically" he corrects. "Now? Do you want to watch back to the future or lion king?" Both of them were yours and Chris’s go to films when growing up. "I’m going to go get us some snacks"

"Its 2 am" you remind him.

"So? It will be like old times" he smiles. "Only this time my dad wont come in and shout at us for talking too loud"

"Remember when we were playing on the playstation at like 4am and your dad came in and split us up so we would actually sleep"

"Yeah" he smiles, his eyes bright. "I had to sleep on the couch and you got my bed but you come and got on the other couch so you weren’t alone because you were scared of the dark"

"It wasn’t me who was scared of the dark it was you"

"Maybe was both of us... maybe it was me" he laughs.

"I cant wait to tell everyone i dumped captain america" you laugh.

Whilst it wasn’t what you wanted you both took a step back from each other you moved out and got an apartment the other end of town and hardly ever saw Chris because he was always filming but you still got to see dodger all of the time, watching him when his family couldn’t. Sometimes you’re relationship gets brought up in interviews and he just smiles and shrugs.

"People say marrying or even just dating your best friend is the best thing you could do, but when you've been best friends since you were born it doesn’t really work. Its like we dated because we owed it to our self and our families to see if we would work out. We didn’t. That’s okay and thankfully we are still friends. Maybe its not actually mutual and that i’m just harassing her and y/n is too nice to tell me to tell me to leave her alone. please hang out with me y/n lets go get food, come watch a movie" he jokes. "No" he shrugs. "We are still best friends"

You were sat in the passenger seat of Chris’s car as he speeds down the road, the radio blaring.

"If you don’t stop with this crazy driving you’re going to send me into labor a month early" you tell him.

"That’s the plan i cant wait to meet my niece" he smiles stopping at a red light, he reaches over and rests his hand on your large bump. You groan as she starts to kick, it was something about Chris's voice she loved.

"She better not replace me" you joke.

"I guess you can come to our movie nights" he smiles. You were currently on your way to a restaurant out of town, you were craving the food and your fiance Matthew was at work so Chris offered to take you. Your laughter dies down and you just listen to the radio. Moral of the story playing, you could help but laugh to you self quietly looking over at Chris who was in deep thought. Was he thinking the same thing as you? Or did this some almost perfectly describe those 18 months you were together?

(btw my requests are open so feel free to send anything in)

#chris evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans one shot #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst

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samwritesforyou · 4 years ago

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can the sinner get a happy ending?

Fandom: Code Geass

Summary: nunnally decides to clear lelouch’s name and lelouch - conveniently - around that time decides to visit his sister in disguise, because he just misses her so much. but what happens when he learns that people for some reason can’t remember him as a bloody emperor?

A/N: this fic is turning out to be longer than 15k already, so i will post only one part here, as of.. a “prologue”, or just a feel for you to what this story might bring with it. the rest i will upload on ao3! im really proud of this work :D enjoy!

also... im finally coming back to my favourite formatting of this “description” part for the fics, finally :D its been a mess last four fics, sorry! also sorry to everyone who doest follow me for code geass content, i will write different things too, dont worry!

Warnings: mention of a panic attack, no serious proof-reading

Wordcount: 4k (Prologue)

“Nunnally, I do not agree with this,” Suzaku said firmly, looking the empress straight in the eye, brows furrowed together.

“Suzaku-kun, I understand why you’re upset, but this will not harm the people in any capacity. I do this for my brother,” she stated just as strongly, not daring to shift her gaze elsewhere from his emerald pearls.

“But that doesn’t matter, using this power is just wrong!” he was almost yelling now, clutching his hand in the fist.

Whenever someone was talking about geass or even thought about using it, he always had severe reaction to that topic, probably due to all the trauma and suffering that it caused.

Kururugi has never had a fight with Nunnally yet, they had a calm relationship full of mutual love and trust. Despite her being Lelouch’s sister, she was never like him in any sense. And Suzaku feared the day once he’ll start to see the similarities. Despite loving his friend beyond any measure, his actions and thinking was oftentimes just.. extreme, to say the least. Extreme and dangerous, he was never supposed to gain the power he got ahold of. That’s what was going through Japanese’s mind as they were arguing with Nunnally.

She looked at him wide eyed and he could almost be able to see how the wall of trust they’d built together cracked ever so lightly, as the young empress lowered her gaze and sighed.

“Zero, this is an order. Tell Lloyd to have it ready by tomorrow,” there was such unfamiliar coldness in her tone that it made Suzaku stop in his tracks as she turned around in the wheelchair and started to drive away from him.

It was unfamiliar from her, yet.. so familiar from Lelouch.

There was hardly a day when he didn’t think of him. Either cursing him or praying to him to come back.

He didn’t wear a mask right now, because they were talking in the empress’ private rooms where no servants had access to, so he could be himself around here, yet.. yet she addressed him as Zero.

Suzaku’s green eyes shifted slowly, now looking at his feet.

He was clothed in the purple costume with gold lines, purple gloves and a white puff scarf tucked into the shirt. He hated it. He hated all of it. Every single fibre.

He fell to his knees, breath catching in his throat and he felt the familiar dizziness coming into motion.

He was having a panic attack.

It wasn’t anything new to him and Suzaku found out that the best way to fight it is to let it flow. Let it consume him and shiver uncontrollably, salty tears falling from his eyes onto the red carpet as he bowed his head to the floor.

He was alone possibly in the whole floor so there would be no one watching. No one acknowledging how much pain this human being has to endure, when his only wish is to die.. and when he can’t possibly even do that.

When he finally felt the convulsions stop and dizziness drifted away he sat up on the ground, lifting a hand to his face with a sigh that echoed through the richly decorated halls.

“What a fucking day,” man whispered to himself, slowly getting up and taking the mask of Zero, putting it on, feeling the material close surely around his head so no one could possible guess his true identity anymore.

The stare that nobody could see was deprived of any emotion. Now he was just a faceless person with a mission from the empress.

He went straight to Lloyd’s engineering wing, passing the painting of himself in the white suit as the pilot of the Lancelot, a piece of black cloth at the side of the golden frame, meaning that he’s still being mourned by the genius technician.

“Nunnally vi Britannia demands for the device to be ready by tomorrow,” he said sternly, never adjusting his cape as Lelouch always did - a waste of time and a touch that’s soaked with pretentiousness.

“Of course, Zero, your wish is my command! It’s almost ready anyways,” engineer answered, sitting alone by the table where he continued to work on some cables and connections to various pieces of metal.

He was offered to gain at least a dozen of good workers that could help him in his experiments but earl declined, saying that there’s nothing much to invent without his beautiful pilot and no grandiose war going on between Britannia and Japan anymore.

Suzaku just curtly nodded at that, staying watching him for a moment longer than necessary, just wishing he could reveal to him who he really is and that his pilot is still alive and well and could try some of his new knightmares if he ever makes some.

“Lloyd-san, it’s break time!” suddenly rung a high pitched voice through the empty working space as Cecile came closer to both of them with a little tray rattling with silverware and some food on the surface.

“Oh, Zero, I didn’t notice you come in,” she said sheepishly and smiled, pulling the tray towards him a little in an offering.

“Don’t you want to stay and have lunch with us?” she asked in her sweet voice, the one she uses when she wants to make the good impression, but Suzaku just sighed.

These two were the only people who didn’t really judge him. Even when they didn’t know his true identity, it almost seemed like they were friends like they were before. He liked spending time here, but possibly couldn’t keep them company in eating, since.. he couldn’t really take off his helmet.

“Cecile-san, you know that I mustn’t reveal my identity, hence I can’t keep you company at lunch. Only if I sat by the table without taking a single bite,” he said, a soft smile finally breaking to his lips, making the corners of his mouth go up just a little bit.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, finally realising why this offer wouldn’t work out, but then she said “oh” again and quickly made a beeline towards the main doors, locking them.

“But what if! I locked the main entrance so nobody could come in while we’re eating,” she started enthusiastically and then made another small run towards the light switch, looking with hope at her boss and then the masked man, “and we would also eat in pitch darkness, so you could finally enjoy something with acquaintances, like a normal person?” she smiled and then blinked comically, correcting herself and laughing nervously, “I’m not saying that you’re not normal, of course, I’m just. I realise that it must be hard to be wearing a mask all the time, mustn’t it?” she finished carefully, biting her lower lip.

“Cecile-kun, you’re making Zero intrigued, I think!” Lloyd barked a loud laugh, looking over at his ex-subordinate, “What do you say, Zero? I promise you no peeking!” he teased and got closer to him, wiggling his brows.

Suzaku couldn’t help himself but felt his smile growing wider at that suggestion. There really was no risk, right?

Did Cecile want to try it for a while now? Because it seems like a thought of plan, after all.

*If I keep shielding myself from others I might as well go insane sooner or later.. What’s the harm in one, pitch black lunch, right?..*

Suzaku thought to himself and then nodded.

“Okay, why not?” he said, making Cecile excitedly jump in the air and Lloyd lean deeper into his chair with a pleased hum.

“Alright! On the count of three I’ll turn off the lights and then.. hopefully make it to you guys without any problem!” she explained and on the count of three she really turned off the lights.

Suzaku wasn’t rushing in taking off his helmet, at first waiting for Cecile to make it safely to their little table. It.. was really dark.

“Cecile-san, please be careful,” he said, now being kind of nervous for his friend.

“I’m okayyy!” in the end of the sentence she yelped, because her outstretched arm collided with Zero’s mask, making a low thud, “I.. suppose I made it to the table, right?” she laughed and Suzaku gave out a chuckle as well, carefully putting her hand aside, so she could find the chair to sit on in this ridiculous darkness.

“Okay, so.. I’ll just warn you that I won’t be speaking while we’re eating, because I have a voice modifier inside that distorts my original voice,” Kururugi explained carefully, waiting for their reactions.

“Ahhh, so you can’t be tracked even by voice recognition, that’s very smart!” mused Lloyd, already, what it seemed, with a mouthful of food, “Or you’re someone who we know, so you don’t want to be recognised! But that’s less probable than the first point,” he concluded to himself, now apparently drinking something.

“I won’t comment on that, Lloyd-san,” Suzaku said and then sighed, “Itadakimasu.”

And with that, the only sound in the room despite the munching on the food was the noise of Zero’s mask unzipping and being put near him on the ground.

Japanese inhaled sharply, filling his chest with some fresh air, even though they were inside.

He finally scratched his nose and then rubbed his eyes, using all of the time he has without a mask. Being without it in public was a really rare occasion, so he felt ecstatic, thinking that.. maybe one day his life might get better.

Once he took a big bite of some veggie balls that were on the plate in front of him, he already wanted to say how delicious it is, especially compared to first things she ever cooked for them, but then stopped himself, instead just gulping down the food.

He noticed that the other two were silent as well, probably honouring the fact that one of this trio cannot talk. How nice of them, truly.

During the whole process he was careful of sounds to be able to in time put a mask back on if needed, but nothing really happened. He only heard some clicking, as if someone was taking glasses on and off two times, but other than that, nothing. It was probably Lloyd messing around anyways.

He sighed with relief when he finished, reluctant to put the mask back on. Despite of being in the dark for so long, his eyes didn’t adjust and he still couldn’t see anything, probably because the place was really devoid of all light at the moment.

Then he shook his head to himself, thinking that revealing his identity would be too risky at the current situation, so he put the mack back on, making a clicking sound in the dark.

“I’ll turn the light back on,” Suzaku said and luckily didn’t collide with anything on his way there.

Once the light was back on, the trio grunted in unison, their eyes certainly not being able to absorb this all at once.

He didn’t sit back down to the portable table but just stood next to it, looking at Cecile.

“Thank you for the meal, it was very delicious,” he said, smiling at her.

“I’m glad it was,” when she lifted her dark blue eyes at him, it looked like she’s been crying, so he got instantly worried.

“Are you okay?!” he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I am, thank you, it’s just the sudden light,” she laughed weakly in response, placing her gentle palm on top of his hand, squeezing a little.

Suzaku then pulled away and nodded, still with a warm aftertaste of being treated like an actual friend or an acquaintance.

“I’ll get going then. See you tomorrow, Lloyd-san,” Zero turned away on his heels and made his way from the engineering lab.

“Cecile-kun, the tears weren’t from the lighting, were they?” once they were alone, Lloyd looked at her with a pleased grin, swiftly putting his hand into her pocket and taking night vision glasses out of there, waving them in the air in front of her, “Who is he?”

“I’m sorry, Lloyd-san, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you,” she said with a warm smile, a single tear falling down her cheek, “but he is a good person. We can definitely trust him.”

Life went at significantly slower pace in the countryside than in the city. Nobody was busy.. there actually was *nobody*. Only him and C.C.

The perfect solitude life for two sinners who wanted to make their wishes come true.

Lelouch was just in the middle of harvesting some plants from their little farm, taking breaks every so often because his physique didn’t improve even in conditions like this.

The strew hat oh his head protected him from the angry sun that was shining though the eternity of summer in these lands.

“C.C., can you please get me a container for these? I think it’s better to grow them inside, they’re dying out there on all this heat,” ex-emperor barged into their house with two plants in his hands, taken out of the ground with the roots, waiting for help from the green haired companion he had by his side.

“Uh-huh, sure,” she put away the knitting equipment and lowered her bare legs from the table she was resting on, getting up to her feet, making a beeline for the back room, where the junk of all sorts was stored. For situations like this.

She looked around the whole room, noticing old Zero suit just hanging by the wall, some markers and scissors peeking out of the pockets. She sighed and lowered her olive eyes, finally finding what her partner has asked her for.

With two brown-ish pots in hands she went back and put them on the floor in from of the skinny man, returning to the back room once again to get some fresh soil for the poor plants.

Then she came back for the second time, plopping next to the bag with terra, tearing it open and pouring the soil into the pots.

Lelouch was looking at her this whole time, as if exploring every millimetre of her pale skin. He did it often now. Paying more attention to the details and that made him even the better deduction master than he’s been before.

Sherlock Holmes was onto something, truly.

He could now finally put the plants into their new home now, patting the ground with his elegant fingers, making sure they’re steady in it.

Then he placed them next to the dining table and wanted to go out again.

“Lelouch,” simply said C.C., taking her knitting needles in hands alongside the purple yarn which for the most part was being dragged behind her as she followed him outside.

“Hm?” was the only answer she got, as Lelouch continued taking care of the garden, completely immersed in the activity.

Or maybe his mind was thousand miles away..

“I miss you,” she stated, still knitting, kind of furiously, even though her face was unchanging.

“What? I’m right here,” he chuckled, his hands firmly in the ground, making sure that the plants have enough space to grow and expand.

“No. The old you, the one who was always in motion, who didn’t let life stop him, the one who made me feel like life is a game worth winning,” she said, her hands slowing down in the tempo of her activity, “I feel like you’re losing yourself too.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment after that, working like some gardener, brows furrowed together.

“But we won, C.C. This might not be the life that you nor I want to live, but that’s a small price to pay for the world to stay in peace, don’t you think?” he finally met her eyes, lifting his amethysts from the greenery.

“What about Nunnally? Don’t you wanna see her?” there was no hesitation in her voice as the man got up from his knees and pointed a finger at her in a warning manner.

“I told you to never say her name aloud..” he whispered, no signs of anger on his face, only sadness pooling in his dark, beautiful eyes.

“So you just want to forget her? Or what? What’s your plan?” she stood on her tiptoes now to get closer to his face, talking in the same semi-whispering way, not willing to step down.

This kind of rivalry was the thing that kept these two going in the most dire times when they just wanted to fuck it all and return to the old swing of things.

“I have no plan,” said Lelouch so closely to her lips that at some point of his phrase they touched and he then pulled away, making his way back to the house.

“Hm. What a sore loser,” she mused with a smile on her face, following him and plopping herself on the couch, knitting away.

For the rest of the day they didn’t exchange a single word.

Suzaku was dreading today. The day started already badly from the beginning.

He woke up with a headache and outside was pouring rain, attacking large windows in his private rooms, sound echoing through the space that lacked furniture.

Despite having amazing athletic skills, the curly haired boy was still very skinny for his height and his depression often made him feel like he doesn’t even need or deserve to eat anything.

He sat on the bed, white shirt loose on his shoulders, shuddering to himself.

It was so dark. And lonely. Everyday was the same. Lonely, lonely, lonely. Alone. Echo drifting through the void of his existence, springing off the rich, gold decorated walls which mean absolutely nothing to him.

He hated to reside in the royal palace but he would hate even more to be somewhere alone.

Here he at least has Nunnally... someone who knows completely and unconditionally who he is.

His first plan of action each morning is to wake her up, let her dress and then go together to the dining hall and have breakfast. Only after that they would proceed to go on official side of the business.

When he came to her room and saw an empty bed his heart sunk uncomfortably fast and Kururugi rushed to it, seeing a note neatly folded on the sheets.

*I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand, but I will be in my office earlier today. Have something to eat and then bring me the finalised Product. We’ll hold the ceremony in the evening.”

It said and he slowly slid his fingers over the letters, face growing grim.

The product.. she meant the geass button. His stomach curled up and he started to feel nauseous.

If any doctor would see Suzaku right now, they would probably tell him to take a vacation at least for a month and rest for the eternity of it.

There was no professional to stop him, though, so he just stepped hard on all of his emotions, knitting his brows together, putting the Zero mask on.

He marched from the private empress wing and saw quite a lot of commotion, probably because of the speech that Nunally will be giving later.

A lot of people started coming up to him, saying “Zero please do this and that” and Kururugi just waved them all away, for once without any capacity left to feel guilty that he can’t help with preparations.

Soon enough young man found himself in the technician part of the palace where everything was more silent. Way easier to bear the silence here than in his room, he noticed.

“Ah, Zero, welcome!” mused Lloyd, greeting his with open arms, “Everything is ready! Still don’t understand why would the empress need such a device that never brought nothing good but I guess it is not my business to ask, am I right?” he smirked and looked at the masked person, hands on hips.

“It indeed isn’t,” said Suzaku in the low tone, just being fed up with this day. He’d much rather take off his mask and tell the whole world that his death was a lie instead of even touching the device that can inflict such a power. Power that he despises.

But he can’t do that. He can’t do that because he is a slave. He always will be. Lelouch was right. He just lets people to spit on him over and over, in the end not changing a single thing in the grand scheme of things.

Suzaku wasn’t the greatest politician, despite his dad rooting heavily in politics, and so japanese were actually still being oppressed. He just didn’t know how to solve it. He wasn’t as great of a leader as Lelouch was, as the real Zero was.

He’s just a mere replacement that can’t even do his job right.

So he will take the geass button that Nunnally requested from his friend that doesn’t even know who he is, he will ignore Cecile-san as she comes in just seconds before he leaves and waves enthusiastically at him, he will continue in his heavy steps all the way to the palace, he will shrug off every single interviewer that wants to have a discussion with Zero, leader of a nation, he will knock on empress’ office where she is ready for the speech to give to the whole population. And he will bow down before her, getting on one knee, giving her the power he hates. She will just curtly nod at him and then put the device carefully in her lap, just out of reach of the camera. He will stand beside her as Zero, and there will be silence before the broadcast.

He is just a servant. Merely that.

“Nunnally,” he said, devoid of any emotion left, “you still won’t tell me which order are you going to give?” he was looking straight into the tv screen in front of them, as the countdown showed still two minutes left before the beginning of the stream.

“No,” she said seriously, looking at the same direction, tensing up.

“So it will work on me and I won’t even know, huh,” his tone was now softer and quieter, accepting the fact that his most loved person alive is essentially doing what he hated the most.

“No. I got that checked up, Suzaku,” in her voice could be heard a small smile, probably a sad one, as she continued “Apparently the order that my brother gave you was so powerful that you’re immune to any different type of geass,” she said with a deep sigh, “so you’ll hear it and won’t be affected. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

He couldn’t answer her anything on that because the timer was already up and the political duo went live to the millions of people that were watching, all around the globe.

The topic of the speech was supposed to be about more liberation rights for Japan, so that created a lot of so-called “hype” amongst the citizens, britannians as well as japanese. The maximum amount of people were watching and they will all obey the empress. That was the plan.

“Nunnally vi Britannia commands you,” with hearing these words Suzaku got goosebumps, his hands squeezing the handles of her wheelchair as much as he could to prevent himself from doing anything that he might regret later, “please, everyone who is watching this or hearing this, forget about the fact that the 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire was Lelouch vi Britannia. From now on, you will all remember him as just a person without a face, someone who wanted to rule the entire world, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t Lelouch,” she said, after pressing the button.

Even a normal person could feel a literal surge of some energy coming out of the room they were in and Suzaku widened his eyes as he heard the order.

His mouth hung open as he was trying to make sense of what she just said.

Nunnally cleared Lelouch’s name.

Nunnally... cleared Lelouch’s name.

Kururugi couldn’t focus on anything that the empress proceeded to talk about after that, staring blankly at the wall and for the first time he was genuinely glad that he was wearing a mask, so that nobody could see his shocked expression.

A/N: this fic can be now found on ao3! i wont be updating it here on tumblr because that would be just too many chapters and that's just... too much work fdsjfjsf

#code geass fanfiction #code geass #suzalulu #suzalulu fanfic #suzaku kururugi #lelouch lamperouge #suzaku kururugi fanfic #lelouch lamperouge fanfic #im SO PROUD of this work i hope people will notice it

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voidselfshipp · 4 years ago

Text

Tender heart

[Chapter one]

Tw:mentions of past trauma andfood

Summary: jericos first week on the job as team rainbows psicologist was boring, until her first patient walks in for help and later that day a friend of her takes her to the sea to talk.

Ok to rb

Its been a week already, jerico silently sat on her Office, the cracking of the Fire was the only thing that could be heard, the houseplants hanged from the ceiling, two sofas infront of the fireplace, and her desk with cluttered Papers books a warm Cup of tea and a family photo.

She had been introduced in team rainbow last week, so far none of the operators didnt come by to talk.

See,her job was more of a moral support and psicologist, it was boring since no-one came by for help.

Distracted from her thoughts by her pet eagle playing in her bird playground, nibbling at the plastic keys hanging from a pole.

The bird caws flying to her owners shoulder nuzzling jeris hair cawing.

--its been very boring week, dont you think sunshine?--she scratches under the eagles beak smiling as sunshine nibbled on her finger playfully.

She then sighed thinking itll be like any other boring day,nobody would come by and her resume at the end of the week for Harry would be empty.

Sunshine flied back to her playground and entered the medium sized wooden house.

The silent falls heavy on the room again, she clicks her pen trying to get herself distracted.

A psicologist that struggles with intrusive thoughts,aint that ironic?.

But then,the little bell ontop of her door rang, hesitant soft steps are heard as a Man, around fifty enters.

He pushes his dishveiled dark brown hair back, panting softly, he seemed to be in a hurry--uh hello?-- he wasnt sure how to start conversations.

Jeri looked up when she heard the chime,and smiled warmly at the newcomer-- welcome--jeri would be lying if she told you that a feeling of excitement didnt settle on her chest when the Man entered and sat infront of her--whats the matter

The Man looked away,trying to think of a way of explaining it, he then remembered the file that was tucked neatly under his arm, he hands it to her--Harry told me to give this to you before our session

Jerico took the file and read it.

The first paper was more of a summary than a proper introduction.

"Ryad al-hassar Ramírez.

Age:53

Al-hassar suffers from chronic insomnia,slight shifts of mood outside work and an obssesion with his brothers murder.

The last one is a sensitive thing to talk about, proceed with caution".

Jer closed the file and left it on the table intertwining her hands togheter leaning in.

--Well ryad,before we start Ill introduce myself,I dont remember you in the line up when I got here last week,im jerico, nice to meet you

She extended her hand, and he shook it,he was a bit nervous, therapy wasnt the best thing for him during his life, hes a very Stubborn Man.

--well whats on your mind?-- she asked.

He struggled to find his words, maybe it was a mix of things, the cute therapist infront of him, the tenderness with wich she was handling him, and the fact that he hasnt had a proper therapist in a good while.

--Well, what can I say-- he started--things are a bit tense at the moment with ash's and kali's fight, then theres been talk of making me take a month off for health issues, I mean its ridiculous im perfectly fine!,maybe im low on energy but its nothing a couple of cups of coffee cant fix

She perked up, Ryad swore he saw her ears move a little when she looked up to him--Couple cups of coffee?--she inquired,his body tensed as he realized the slip up he just made--tell me ryad, how Many cups are we talking about, one? Two?

The Man looked away in shame, muttering --Five

He waited to be reprimated, he was ready to get yelled at as his previous encounters went, instead though he gained a warm hand on his wrist, squeezing it Gently--does those cups of coffee help you with your day?maybe that has to do with the talk of taking the month off

Ryad sighed his tone a bit more stern than before-- I dont need a month off, I just need to get some sleep,I can still do things!

Jeri flinches at the sudden elevation of his voice, Harry had told him that she was very sensitive to loud noises.

He calms down --Im sorry I..i shouldnt have yelled at you...

He heard her chuckle and softly shook his hand--Dont worry, I know what you meant, sometimes in order to do things we need to take a step back,it May hurt and we May hate it at first,but in the long run itll help-- she stood up, her hand leaving his and walking up to the water Cooler--Tea? Itll help you relax

It couldnt hurt at this point.

So they kept talking for a bit longer, ryad was slowly getting more and more convinced that maybe that month off would do him good.

He sighed chuckling softly looking up from his cup to jeri-- youre very good at this --He said.

--Hmm?

--im very stubborn but somehow you made me change my mind,I think ill take the month off

Jer smiled--well, If theres anything else I can do for you

He had loosen up and she took a glimpse to his charming and romantic self, she wasnt preparing for the following,though--can I get your number?--he playfully winked at her, she chuckled along with her cheeks red....she could always say its because of the fireplace.

--Well I can give you my card if you need anything,in your file says you live off base, so maybe itll be helpfull for you

She gave a small bussiness card and he took it shoving it in his pocket.

--Well, thats all--he said standing up handing her the cup--Thanks

Jeri smiled--Glad I could help!

When he left,she put her forehead against her desk sighing,rainbow had some good looking people, now her work would be extra difficult.

At afternoon she closed her Office,she told Harry to tell the operators to swing by her room if they needed anything.

Now there she was eating her food in bed, laptop on her legs watching a movie with sunshine tucked under her arm, sleeping soundly.

A soft Knock interrupted her dinner-- who is it?--she asked.

--its ngugi,ngugi furaha

Jeri leaves the PC and food on the bed running to Open the door--Wamai! Good to see you, whats up?

The kenyan Man leans on the windowsill,Him and jeri had become somewhat Friends since he had helped her move in.

--I just need to clear my mind,I was hoping we could go down at the beach and talk?

Oh yeah,ngugi had certain affinity with the sea, she figured it would make their talk be more loose, so she put on some flip-flops and went down to town and then to the beach.

Its a starry clear night, the sea rocked softly against the sand, both felt the Ocean as a home, it was something they had bonded over.

--So--jer said with hands on her pockets--whats on your mind?

He proceded to tell her about the fight between ash and kali,how worried he was that it would end up in something worse, fearing that it would spark into something more violent.

They stopped and sat near the shore,she put a hand on his back patting it softly.

--I promise this Will be fine, Harry,zero and I are working hard on making sure this doesnt go even more south,for now id advice you to relax,tomorrow morning you could go for a swim,itll help you wind down

--I guess youre right--his arm pulled her closer, hed noticed she was shivering--Thanks jer

--Youre welcome.

They sat there in silence for a bit longer,enjoying the calm.

He was about to say something about heading back but jerico was already asleep, so he lifted her up and took her back to base to her room.

His own quarters were at the other side of the building, surely jerico wouldnt mind if he stayed the night.

This was confirmed when not only did he felt jeri make herself comfortable against his back but her own eagle, who had fame of being very protective over her owner, cuddled up to him.

He chuckled petting the bird,then Yawning, turning off his brain for the night, with an inexplicable feeling of warmth on his chest.

#tw//past trauma #tw:past trauma #trauma tw #food tw #tw//food #tw:food #wamai #ngugi/wamai #ryad/jackal #ryad all hassar ramirez #f/o fic #💛🎨you can depend on me🎨💛#long post

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whence-the-woody · 4 years ago

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Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude.

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting.

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle.

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one.

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference.

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good.

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU.

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois.

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces.

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT.

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit.

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid.

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow.

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good.

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT

#supernatural #me #ranty #we achieved nothing with this ep yet I have THOUGHTS #finale

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djbubblegum · 4 years ago

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Tag Game! Get to know me.

@beca-mitchell has tagged me in one of these so lets see how this goes. This really made me think.

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? Black

2. name a food you never eat. Cucumber! It’s gross and leave juice on everything.

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? Always toooooo cold.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Editing a podcast

5. What’s your favourite candy bar? Kinder Bueno

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes - I used to do some gigs for Bristol Rovers football club and got some free tickets. I also used to watch the Cardiff Devils ice hockey team play.

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? “What do people want to eat?”

8. what is your favoriute ice cream? Mint Chocolate Chip.

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? Coca Cola

10. do you like your wallet? Yes i guess so.

11. what is the last thing you ate? Pepperoni Pizza

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? No I suck at clothes shopping.

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? I’m not sure. It was some Liverpool FC game as my Step Mum is really into them and they won the league.

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Cinema Sweet

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? @green-eyed-weirdo

16. ever been camping? Yes. I hated it.

17. do you take vitamins? No I wouldn’t even know where to start.

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? Yes I’m a Mormon.

19. do you have a tan? No. It takes a lot for my pale skin to tan or i just burn.

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? Chinese - But like proper chinese food. Sooooo good.

21. do you drink your soda through a straw? I would like to but its almost impossible. It always bubbles over.

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? I love colourful and patterned socks so i don’t think many are one colour.

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? Not really. Im a bit of a grandmother when it comes to driving.

24. what terrifies you? Being forgotten

25. look to your left, what do you see? My DJ decks

26. what chore do you hate most? Hoovering

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? Kyle Minogue

28. what’s your favourite soda? Coca Cola is life. And Dr Pepper.

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Sometimes but usually just drive through.

30. what’s your favourite number? Probably not but i probably sing 22 the most because you know the song.

31. who’s the last person you talked to? My dad.

32. favourite meat? So hard. Probably lamb.

33. last song you listened to? Purple Disco Machine - Hypnotized

34. last book you read? Tan France - Naturally Tan

35. favourite day of the week? Wednesday

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? Maybe at a push

37. how do you like your coffee? Sorry i dont drink Coffee. Hot Chocolate all the way.

38. favourite pair of shoes? Adidas trainers

39. time you normally get up? Whatever time i can drag myself out of bed and face the world.

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunset

41. how many blankets on your bed? 1

42. describe your kitchen plates: White and round. Like standard ex-hotel plates thats where there from.

43. describe your kitchen at the moment: Old and odd. Its build in a spare extension of the house and has a weird shower room at the back. Its an odd house.

44. do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? Nope sorry i don’t drink.

45. do you play cards? I haven’t for a while. Does Solitaire count?

46. what colour is your car? Dark Blue

47. can you change a tire? Ive been taught but i can never unscrew the nuts. My arms are too weak.

48. your favourite state or province? I have no idea. Ive always liked the idea of California.

49. favourite job you’ve had? DJ

Well that was fun. I guess i should tag some people.

@green-eyed-weirdo @kaidence-elyse @inversetwilight @aubreyposenesquire @ridiculously-over-obsessed @shortstack-posen @slothmuffin17 @redlance

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chimswae · 4 years ago

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BTS Caretaker CH11

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 2,741

- Author Note:I made double update today to make up to the missing weeks! ^^ i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)

Previous | Next

Chapter 11

Journey back to his dorm feels like forever, the night skies were sombre and starless, and it seemed to mock Jin’s current state. He purposely walked slowly along the empty streets in hope he could eliminate these unimportant worries in him.

When he was first brought into the company, he had zero knowledge and skills. Even though, it was indeed true skills can be shaped over times, but it was not an easy journey for him. He worked extra hard to make himself worthy in the group. Some may find it was ridiculous to scout him and turned him into one of possible Bangtan’s members.

Jin never missed a day excreting his sweat and tears, singing at the top of his lung, dancing his heart out just to ensure he is worth to be called as Bangtan’s members. His visual alone was not enough, he needed more.

Daesang awards were huge for them and up until now they still could not believe how this thing could happen overnight. They worked their ass off for years, not they wanted to brag and claimed they were better than other idols out there. Different people has different struggle in life. Each of the members has their own struggle too, including him.

He’s aware of the hatred thrown to them over the years, but the support from Armys manage to cover that up. Jin smiled to himself at the memories that he shared with the members and Armys. He would never get tired performing on stage, something that he would do forever.

His attention shifted to a store across the road. Absentmindedly, he crosses the road with a wide grin plastered across his face, there stood huge Bangtan’s standee in their Puma’s outfits. To be frank, he was proud of their achievement. Sometimes, it fascinated him to see their faces everywhere in the city.

It was too much to be called as a dream.

It was real.

“You did great” he whispered under his breath, and he took few more minutes to stare blankly at the standee in front of him. It felt like they had fulfilled the impossible in life.

Tapping his finger on the glass where his standee stood handsomely “You never cease to amaze me Kim Seokjin, good looking as always” he complimented.

When it came to self-compliment, Jin knew the drill.

It somewhat helped him to go through rough times in life, a little self-confident that is all he needed. Then, he would face even the hardest hurdles in life without any single whine.

-------------------

Pinching the bridge of her nose to ease the ache, Seul sighed tiredly, scanning the now organized place with a wide grin “That took me forever!” she stretched a little. Unlike yesterday, she went a little later than usual, because she had to serve an early shift considering Wongeun is out of town for a week.

Checking every nook and cranny of the place, Seul entered that one room which she hated the most, Jin and Suga’s room. As irrelevant as it might sound, the room alone sent tingle down her spine. It brought back to that day when Yoongi and her just.. let’s stop it there. How it was not easy for her to just ignore this thought away, but they were talking about a kiss that they shared. Unintended kiss.

Seul walked pass Yoongi’s room and went straight to Jin. Crouching down in front of the cages where he kept Odeng and Eomuk, Seul decided to feed those two little not so innocent creatures. If it weren’t for them, the thing with Jimin would not happen.

Speaking of Jimin, it rendered her speechless. The topic of Jimin and Yoongi are something that she wanted to avoid for the rest of her life.

“Let’s eat Odeng-ie.. Eomuk-ie…” said Seul gleefully. Setting the food on floor, she sat down cross legged while her fingers fiddles with the lock. As soon as she unlocked the cage, the two siblings sprinted out happily and went straight to their source of happiness.

Seul strokes the top of Odeng head with her finger softly not wanting to scare it away “Eat well, you are so adorable” she giggled.

She then plugged her buds and tuned to some random songs like RM’s Mixtape whom she chose to ignore at first but only to fail her. It was not easy to completely ignore good songs especially Bangtan Sonyeondan’s songs. She had to admit this one fact that they were genius including Min Suga. The honesty in the songs that they produced gave life to her dull self. Guess, their songs are becoming Seul’s main therapy.

Letting out small chuckle, she watched the siblings fought for food and went around and round like a happy kid “It must be less hassle for animal like you. You have nothing to worry off, only to survive in this harsh world. That is not until you find the best owner that can love you without boundaries, then you are set to go” she whispered, giving Eomuk’s small head a soft pat.

After spending for good 30 minutes monitoring Odeng and Eomuk , Seul decided to call it a day, keeping them back into the cage. “We will play again tomorrow, I hope your Jin daddy would not be mad at me. Don’t tell him” she giggled.

Tapping her hand together, she rose up leaving the room silently. To her surprise, she was welcomed by the dark room. Seul tilted her head in confusion “Did I turn off the light? I don’t remember doing that” scrutinizing the room to find any sign of soul inside.

Seul turned her heels to serve the food that she cooked earlier on the table, the boys would be back anytime. With a light heart, she hummed to Bangtan’s songs while keeping her hand busy until everything is arranged perfectly.

A loud bam coming from the front door surprised her, Seul cursed mentally knowing what might come to her. Will she face another nonsense moments with one of the members again? Screw this, meaning it was a sign for her to leave immediately without them knowing. However, it was rather weird that she didn’t catch any commotions from the front considering how loud the boys could be sometimes.

It was a long silent only sound of light footstep could be heard across the room.

Her eyes eyed her stuff that lied helplessly at the corner of the room, thankfully it was away from prying eyes. Stealthily, Seul made her way without making any sound so she could leave instantly. As she was about to gather herself again and flee from the scene, her ears perked up, those sound of soft sob drew her attention from her stuff.

Who is crying? Her brows knitted together. Seul got up, bailing her earlier plan to escape. She was more interested in finding the source of that soft voice. To her, it sounded broken and for an odd reason her heart clenched in pain.

Her heart pounded as she searched for the owner of the sad sob. Due to the darkness in the room, she didn’t even realize the soft thing beneath her “Oh my god, im s-“her eyes shot open upon her skin made contact with the thing there.

His head was buried in his knees turning him into a fragile kid who feared the darkness.

Jin head snapped at the friction, and he looked at Seul with confused look. Even in the darkness she could see his eyes glistening with tears, something told her, he was indeed broken inside. “Who…are you…” in comparison to her encounter with Jimin, this one with Jin was rather calm. Most probably Jin was more mature and think a little rationally, she supposed.

His voice was raspy and gruffy, and Seul continued to stare at him in confusion and concern. He was supposed to flip out or scared at least because after all he found a stranger in the same room as his. Why would he act all calm and alright? Could Yoongi or Jimin told everyone about her existence? That could be it judging from Jin’s ignorance.

“Are you urm alright?” Seul inquired timidly.

Jin nodded slightly as his kept his meaningful gaze making Seul recoiled in her stance “You are Mrs Hwang’s daughter?” Jin mumbled. “I think I saw you before, that eyes” his lips were pressed into thin line trying to recall the memories.

“I don’t remember meeting you” she blinked.

He shifted, and even his little movement got her nervous. Seul stared blankly at Jin’s hand, he held out his palm to her direction as if like an offer but what was that for again. She hesitantly reached her right hand to his warm one, and Jin’s strong grip almost knocked her down.

Using Seul weight as a support, he pushed his body up, standing straight with a soft sigh.

“Never mention this to other” he warned.

“I..dont have any intention on telling anyone. Urm.. I will probably just go” she pulled her hand away from Jin’s grasp. Now she missed the emptiness and warmth that she felt earlier. Why was she like this? Was she that desperate for a touch?

Nothing came from Jin, so she took the cue to walk away before anyone else appeared and she didn’t want to be cornered by the group. This was not the time to be investigated. He reached around and took hold of her wrist gently but firmly causing the girl to turn her body again facing Jin “Can I have a cup of hot tea?” he blurted out.

Seul was losing her words, first Jin was too beautiful and secondly the words coming from his mouth alone got her heart flipping weirdly here and there. Crazy Ji Seul.

“Su..re…I will get it for you” she coughed softly, slowly slipping away. She could feel his gaze throw daggers through her head. Was he always that calm? However, he looked like he was over all shits in life. Did something happen to him? Where were others?

------------------------

The atmosphere was rather awkward, glancing over the man across her, Seul mentally complimented Jin’s visual. It was her first time seeing him up close, so it was fascinating to see the popular guy who became a talk of town due to his overflowing charms. She had to agree that Jin is dashing and super good looking.

Jin took a long sip from his hot tea, it helped to comfort his heart.

Finally breaking the silence, Jin let out an exhaust sigh garnering Seul attention “So are you a fan?” he looked up meeting her bewildered stare.

“Mmm.. not really? I listen to your songs though” she replied abruptly.

“Are you sure you are not a sasaeng?” he raked his fingers in his hair not breaking the contact with Seul. Jin was studying her diligently, since he only heard the story from Yoongi and Jimin. He had no choice but to believe Yoongi’s theory. When he first heard it from Jimin few days ago, Jungkook and him was shocked that it matched Yoongi’s story. Leaving them with no choice, they decided to trust Jimin and Yoongi, therefore just like that the rest of the members were being informed about this Mrs Hwang daughter situation. Well, minus their managers of course.

The boys decided to take this matter in their own hands. If what Seul told them was the truth, then what choice did they have. The caretaker ahjumma had been awfully nice to them, the least they could do was to seal the secret away from their managers and Bighit.

Depending on the root of the story and it validity, of course.

“Do I look like that ‘oppa please notice me juseyo~’ kind of girl” Seul mimicked a fangirl voice and rolled her eyes.

The corner of his lips was tugged into a small smile “It is too much a coincidence that you are the caretaker ahjumma’s daughter, how can we trust you?” he pressed.

“That is up to you, I am here to do my job as requested by my mother. And if it weren’t for her, I would not be here invading your so called personal space. I think I explained to that Suga guy and some weird guy who go around the house shirtless” she stopped, hissing under her breath for spouting nonsense in front of Jin.

“Weird guy who wander around the house shirtless? What exactly happened to you and Jimin?” he raised his brows with a deep frown.

Seul flustered “Nothing. I thought he told you everything considering the first thing that came out from you was ‘Are you Mrs Hwang’s daughter?’. Didn’t rude Suga tell you everything?” she snorted hoping Yoongi would not reveal the kisses.

“ Rude Suga” Jin shook his head in disapproval, “That is offending me Miss Mrs Hwang’s daughter” he exclaimed.

“Heol, I admired your strong bonds with Suga” she looked at him disbelief. Then the table turned silent again, as they were deep in their own thought trying to decipher things around them. On the other hand, Jin was too exhausted to start another mouth fight. For now, he trusted her seeing how she acted. Seul was definitely not a fan or worse sasaeng fan.

Seul cleared her throat easing the awkwardness “So, what happen back then?” she chewed her lower lips.

Not expecting the question from Seul, Jin face felt and now he returned to his sombre self “That one..i am having that moment where my mental shut down by its own. It is unavoidable and make me feel shitty. I feel like I have achieved something in life, but it still fails me” he murmured.

“Whatever happen to you, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. You just have to move on from what is hurting you, yet don’t you ever forget the things that it taught you. Jin-ssi, just because you are struggling doesn’t mean you are failing. Every great success that you achieve now is a worthy struggle for you. Then, you realize that the hurdles that you face is not found on the path, it is the path itself. Do not be afraid to get up again and to try. I know you are worthy to be in Bangtan. Everyone does.” She exhaled softly.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her, and the lecture began to sound like a melodious music to his ears. Jin stared at her wide eyes as if it was some kind of joke that this person whom he just met could read through him like an open book. He found the strength to smile again afterwards which flustered Seul. She will never get used of Jin’s good look, it was dazzling.

“That takes my breath away..Mrs Hwang..mm?” before he could continue with the long nickname that he gave her, Seul blurted “It is Seul. Ji Seul” she smiled awkwardly.

“Seul..” he hummed with a shy smile.

“It is like you could read through me, thank you for that. I appreciated it Seul-ssi” he stretched out his hand to the cup direction, taking a short sip from it again while eyeing Seul. He remembered now where they first met. It was the elevator girl looking confused and broken. So, that was her.

“I need to go back, it is late. I don’t want to cause any uproar when the rest came in. This maybe probably our first and last meeting Jin-ssi. I will perform my job under the radar from now on” she professed.

Jin flinched upon hearing her random blabbered, Seul got up from her seat bowing politely “There are food for everyone, urm except for Suga” she patted her lips and scolded it making the older guy chuckled.

“I didn’t mean to sound bias but he…nevermind. I will take my leave now” she rubbed her neck, gathering her stuff and exited the area before she made fun of herself in front of him. Her steps came to a stop halfway to the living room, and without turning back to Jin “And, Jin-ssi.. Remember before anything, to be yourself and love yourself. It is the recipe to happiness” Jin tilted his head staring at her back with genuine smile. There was astounding power flowing in this room the likes of which he had never felt before.

“We will meet again for sure Ji Seul”

#btsfic #btsfanfic #bts fanfiction #bts series #jeon jungkook x oc #yoongi x oc #jin x oc #kim seokjin x oc #bts x oc #bts idolau #bts fic #bts romance #yoongi fluff #jungkook fluff #min yoongi x oc #jimin x oc #btscaretaker

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jadondonsancho · 5 years ago

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Insecure. anyone.

Hey guys! I've decided to try my hand at this writing thing! This started as a chilly story but I decided to leave out the names so you can imagine it with anyone you'd like :)

My asks are open for any requests or constructive criticism, hope you enjoy!

Lots of love xxx

_______________

He came home upset. The result wasn't terrible, a clean sheet and a point meant a decent start to the season. But he wasn't happy. And the last thing he wanted was to come back home to you, knowing what was waiting. The night before an offhand comment he made, a stupid stupid comment he can't even belive he said had put him in the dog house. Deservedly. You hadn't even said a word, just ended the FaceTime.

Fuck.

As he pulled up to the driveway, he could feel his heart in his throat. Your car was still in its usual spot so he knew you were home. He couldn't decide if he was relieved you hadn't left or nervous about what was to come.

Today was supposed to be a great day, the first game of the new season, he was looking forward to spotting you in the stands as he always does. He knew you wouldn't show today but that didn't stop him from scanning every face in the crowd twice, just to make sure. Of course you weren't there, he didn't even know if you watched at home.

His key turned in the door as he took a deep breath, preparing himself for anything on the other side. What met him was silence. Unsure of whether to call out to you or not he placed his keys on the hook, right next to yours. Further proof you were still there.

__________

The argument started when you had brought up, once again an article in a gossip magazine about him sleeping around with other girls. You knew better than to believe them but you let your insecurities get the better of you. Can he blame you? He's this ridiculously good looking footballer, it's no secret he's got money and let's be honest he was known for sleeping around before he met you.

The night before a home game meant he was staying at the teams hotel, as per usual you FaceTimed each other before bed. You had seen the magazine while doing some grocery shopping earlier that day, the headline imprinted in your memory. This was the 3rd one this month alone. You knew he hated to talk about it and you could understand why. Constantly needing to defend yourself to the person whose supposed to trust you the most must be exhausting.

He didn't need to defend himself though, all you really wanted was him to tell you that you weren't going crazy and that he loved you. Instead, he had scoffed and said "seriously? When would I have the time? I barley have time to sleep with you!", you could sense the irritation in his voice but at the same time, his comment stung. He had hit you right where it hurt.

Work had been stressful and he'd been away in LA for most of the summer on holiday, you had joined him for a week and that had been fun but unlike his, your job didn't offer you a summer break so it was right back home and seperated from him for a few weeks.

So to say things in the bedroom had halted would be an undstatement. And you felt guilty as hell, it wasn't like you didn't want to, God it had been so long it was pretty much all you could think about but between his preseason tour and your exhausting job you haven't had the time or the energy, life just kept getting in the way.

So when those words left his mouth, he pretty much confirmed all the things you had been mulling over for weeks. One; that he was getting tired of the relationship, two; that he resented you for not sleeping with him more often and three; that the tabloids were right.

You had watched the game on tv, despite your anger at him you couldn't resist. He played well but you knew he wouldn't be happy with his performance, the standards he holds for himself, ridiculously high. And he seemed distracted, which added to your guilt.

-------------

He rounded the corner and peeked into the living room to see if maybe you were watching TV, the room was empty. He checked the kitchen next, on the island was a plate of food. Like there normally is when he comes home late from a game. He couldn't help but smile, no matter how upset you were, you still couldn't stop yourself from taking care of him. He kicked himself for his stupidity, he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have you in his life and he hated making you feel upset.

He checked your home office before deciding you were probably upstairs in bed watching Netflix or something. Slowly he started up the stairs trying to figure out a way to apologize, trying to decide how to make it up to you. Gently he opened the bedroom door. There you were, eyes peeled to the tv screen. You were watching some sort of trashy reality show, the ones you had said were always a good distraction.

"Hey", he said lowly. Not wanting to disturb you too much.

You turned to look at him, the first thing he noticed was how puffy and red your eyes were. His heart broke knowing he was the reason for your tears.

"Hey", you whispered back before turning your attention back to the tv. No mention of the game, no indication that you wanted to indulge in any further conversation.

He stood their awkwardly at the door to his own bedroom, unsure of what to do next. All he wanted to do was give you the hug you so clearly needed but he didn't want to upset you more. "uhm, I'm gonna go take a shower, is it okay if we talk after?", he said warily.

"yeah I guess, whatever, I'm surprised you have the time", your reply was short, alluding to his comment the night before.

"babe c'mon", he sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that"

"well how the fuck did you mean it then? I don't think you could have put your point across any clearer!" you snapped turning to face him at the door.

"nah, nah, nah!" he shook his head taking a step toward you, "don't be like that, you know what I'm trying to say! Don't try and act like I'm the only one in the wrong here! How many fucking times are we going to have the same argument? How many times will I need to defend myself?"

Anger filled him again. He was exhausted and frustrated with this. Everytime an outrageous rumor was printed about him in the papers, another fight followed. He was done.

You froze, not expecting him to retaliate so harshly. Tears filled your eyes as you realized he was right, this was as much your fault as his and he had every right to be upset with you too. You still felt the need to defend yourself though.

"It's just so fucking frustrating, like you don't think I don't feel shit about our nonexistent sex life? You dont think I don't want to get back to how we used to be? So when you say shit like that and then add in my pre-existing insecurities, the fact that thousands of woman wanna fuck you in your DMs and then it being in all the papers that they have been...it just makes fucking sense that you would be sleeping around, you're not getting it at home, you look the way you do, you're a footballer for fucks sakes...im sorry I trust you, I do, it's just so fucking hard sometimes" your outburst hit him like a tonne of bricks.

You've had this argument so many times but you'd never actually said out loud how insecure you felt. How jealous you felt. For the first time he could kind of imagine what it felt like, he feels a similar way when he sees guys at the club look you up and down, or when one of his friends comments on your looks. It drives him crazy, but what you had to deal with was worse. Because it was everywhere, all the time. On Instagram and Twitter, in the papers, even in the whispers of people around you when you went out.

"babe...babe I'm sorry, I am. I really didn't mean to make you feel guilty or insecure. I love you, you know that right? And I'm definitely not sleeping around. Okay? You're the only person I'm interested in, the only person I want to sleep with and you genuinely have no reason to be insecure! " he rattled off, moving to sit opposite you on the bed. His hand gently reached up to cup your cheek. His thumb sweeping away the tears rolling down your face. "I am a footballer, but that doesn't mean you're not out of my league"

You grabbed his other hand with both of yours, placing it in your lap. His words temporarily causing you to smile. "I'm sorry I'm like this, I'm sorry I keep bringing this up", you replied looking down at his fingers intertwined with yours.

"hey, look at me", he tilted your head up with his finger so you could look him in the eyes, those beautiful eyes that drew you in all those years ago. "don't ever apologize, it's okay, I know it's hard but I promise you, you have my full attention, always. I love you" he continued.

"I love you too", you smiled at him, leaning in for a kiss, soft and gentle but full of emotion. Immediately making you feel lighter and making the tension in the room dissapte.

He pulled you closer, into a hug. The two of you sat like that, holding one another for ages, a much needed embrace.

"does this mean we can have sex tonight?", he asked teasingly, leading a reluctant laugh to escape your lips as you punched him playfully on the arm.

Leaning back, you looked him in the eyes once more and through a smile you replied, "you've gotta take a shower first, you reek"

#Ben chilwell #Ben chilwell imagine #Trent Alexander Arnold #Trent Alexander Arnold imagine #Harry winks #harry winks imagine #dele imagine #Jadon sancho imagine #James Maddison imagine #Jesse lingard imagine #marcus rashford imagine #Football imagines #football imagine #England nt imagine

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queerlynx · 5 years ago

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tagged by @elinaline lets fucking go

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?

my what (have you seen my hair, seriously)

2. name of a food you never eat?

garlic and i WILL die on that hill

3. are you typically too warm or too cold?

always too fucking warm. im literally never cold. people ask me 10x/day ‘arent you cold’ even tho ive told them 1000x that no, i am never cold

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

i think i was still at the shops or maybe getting ready to go to the shops?

5. what’s your favourite candy bar?

always a slut for a snickers

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?

i dont think so? what would i do there anyways ……oh wait no i went along to a professional tennis game w my ex’s brother i think? i can barely remember it was like 6 years ago

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

genuinely can’t remember even tho it was probs less than 15mn ago to my flatmate. most likely something about the cat being cute. or maybe it was TO the cat. who knows.

8. what is your favourite ice cream?

chocolate probably? or banana? banana and chocolate is also good

9. what is the last thing you had to drink?

lemonade cause thats all i drink

10. do you like your wallet?

it’s BB-8!!! so yeah of fucking course

11. what was the last thing you ate?

a bagel w blue cheese laughing cow, ham, and one of them shitty toastie super processed cheese slices

12. did you buy any new clothes last week?

me and whose money lmaoo i can barely afford food rn

13. last sporting event you watched?

nope

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn?

recently ive discovered you can drizzle maple syrup on popcorn and oh boy. other than that probs salted caramel sauce. but like i almost never have popcorn

15. who was the last person you sent a message to?

im gonna assume this is any message and not just tumblr, in which case it was my fiancé @yearningcurve on whatsapp

16. ever go camping?

i love camping but last time i went was at least 6 years ago ):

17. do you take vitamins?

lol no

18. do you go to church every Sunday?

………moving swiftly on

19. do you have a tan?

i avoid sunlight like the plague so i’ll let you figure that one out

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

probs pizza but i like both

21. do you drink soda with a straw?

i chug it straight from the bottle lol who’s got the time

22. what colour socks do you wear?

im almost constantly barefoot unless i HAVE to put on shoes and even then i won’t always put socks on if i’m not gonna be outside for long

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?

im always p much 5mph above the speed limit (fun fact, the display in cars shows your speed as roughly 2mph higher than it actually is, you can check it against a gps on your phone; AND speed cameras allow for +5mph anyway, so why the fuck wouldnt i be)

24. what terrifies you?

like in general?? people leaving me, rejecting me, abandoning me, cutting me out, hating me in secret; not being a good person or liked or useful; people thinking i’m annoying or embarrassing or ridiculous or boring; the list goes on

25. look to your left what do you see?

a very roumd and somft kitty :3

26. what chore do you hate?

anything administrative or on the phone. i dont think it counts as chores but i genuinely enjoy tidying and cleaning so.

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

i cant tell an australian accent when i hear one

28. what’s your favourite soda?

lemonade, or fanta

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru?

ever since ive gotten a car p much always drive thru cause why would i sit in a crowded fast food restaurant w screeching kids and angry karens when i could enjoy my disgusting feast in my own home???

30. who was the last person you talked to?

IRL that’d be my flatmate

t31. favourite cut of beef?

sirloin

32. last song you listened to?

Echoes by the Rapture, it played on my shuffle in my car and reminded me of how good Misfits was lmao

33. last book you read?

it would’ve been over seven or eight years ago. can’t remember.

34. can you say the alphabet backwards?

z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a

apparently so but it took a while tbh

35. how do you like your coffee?

i mostly drink flat whites w hazelnut when i drink coffee but tbh despite being a barista w a professional grade home coffee machine i barely ever drink any outside of work lmao

36. favourite pair of shoes?

grinders boots AND my trans pride converses. can’t pick between them soz

37. the time you normally go to bed?

really is no normal. anytime between midnight and like up to 5am esp rn during lockdown. i never went to sleep last night actually i’ve been awake for like 28h now

38. the time you normally wake up?

see above. anytime between 10am and like 6pm depending on when i went to bed. outside of lockdown i would wake up exactly an hour before i have work, so anytime between 5am-11am

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets?

sunsets but i really love both

40. how many blankets are on your bed?

one bedsheet and one soft blanket

41. describe your kitchen plates?

they’re green. nobody is surprised

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

cider. i be drinkin that shit like its juice

43. do you play cards?

not really altho on lockdown i’ve taught my flatmates a french card/money game called Nain Jaune and they enjoy it so that makes me happy

44. what colour is your car?

dark red like……burgundy kinda?

45. can you change a tire?

probably not lol

46. your favourite province?

province of what lol. either way it’s Brittany.

47. favourite job you’ve had?

ive only ever had the one lmao so, barista it is

48. how did you get your biggest scar?

top surgery (’:

49. what did you do today that made someone happy?

fuck if i know. i guess i made coffee for my flatmates but like i do it everyday so they p much expect it by now i dont think it makes them any happier or like if it does they dont really say it rip

not a big fan of tagging ppl so just. do it if you wanna lol

#Also Sprach Loïs #txt #elinaline #long post

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pixelburied · 5 years ago

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excuse the cropped weirdly pictures; my family/pet's foster parents are great at snapping a sneaky picture of me curled into an unattractively slouched (relaxed) fetal state. which i'm self-conscious about because it's an unattractive position for pictures even tho i am quite pretty (but they are also cropped because im just also private as hell, sorry lmao).

bonus tho: said pet is laying ontop of me, face buried in my shoulder, twitching in her sleep as we speak!

--- but anyway. onto the actual submission:

so yeah. i saw your post! i'm here to address your call for dogs. but i dont have anymore pictures of my dog, Cash. however, i do have stuff about my cat, Allegra.

i dont have any of them together cuz Cash lives at my family's house and Allegra lives in my apartment. and we're p sure he'd try to eat her and she'd scratch the hell out of him, so we don't try to let them meet. but, just like how Cash continued the legacy of us adopting another big slobbery dog with possessive seperation-anxiety, Allegra does fit all the criteria of those same personality traits we are such a beacon for. so i hope youll accept it as comfort nonetheless

here's a story about my cat who acts just like a anxious, cuddly, and slobbery pupper. i even bought her a pet ID tag that's shaped like a bone to honor that joke lmao) Allegra: "the honorary and tiniest mastiff" and named after the allergy medication

i got Allegra just this last year. she was a stray. now, for context: there are lots of outdoor cats in my neighborhood and they all hate strangers (they aren't feral tho, they have collars). but they all avoided my old house though because of Cash. so Allegra, newly abandoned, took advantage of that safety(?) by constantly hiding out around my family's house whenever she felt endangered

before that point tho, where i vaguely realized she existed but had no idea of what her strategy had been: i knew the cats of the neighborhood would run 15 miles away at the sound of people. but i am a small bean of cliches, so i always say "Hi kitty" anyway. even if them running away breaks my heart. and on that day, i was on my way to work for the opening shift, not early per se but i had enough time for starbucks if i wanted (and i did want) and i saw the vague mass of a cat on the lawn. predictably, i went "Hey kitty". but i also kept walking to my car due to said expectation of cats running and not wanting my heart to have that little break

and allegra did run. she just ran at me, full speed. i almost kicked this sudden HURLING THING in my peripherals like a football out of fight/flight + anxiety, except i have the aim of Charlie Brown so i thankfully missed her terribly. she was purring up a storm and crying pathetically. tho she's a Siamese, so they talk (read: complain) a lot anyway so maybe she wasn't crying. i always call her talking "crying" anyway tho cuz of the whiny pitch of it so such is a moot point. the real point was: she was ridiculously friendly

then, one morning, she was especially incorrigible. she wouldn't let me go into the car without her jumping inside too and kept scenting me, my car door, and all my equipment for this art class i was going to use for my presentation. a presentation that was a huge chunk of my grade that i couldn't be late for and Allegra was going to make late for. i had to trick her into thinking i was going to run away from my car, to which she zoomed ahead to cut me off, except i had actually done a fake-out and had really ran into the driver's seat and was already starting to slowly reverse out of the driveway. she had the sense to not go after a moving vehicle, thank god. my family texted me she cried outside our front door for hours later though. my art class that semester met once a week, so it was a 4.5 hour class that started at 7AM. and even tho that day had been a presentation day and we had less than 15 students, we still went over 3 hours. she cried during all of it. i used the "free time" to make sure i bought a cat leash and a cardboard cat carrier. but when i came back, heard no crying

i tried to get one of my neighbors to hold onto her for the afternoon. i couldnt leave her in my old house; i had family members i lived with who were terribly allergic. but i swore, so long as someone held onto her for my shift, i could take her to a shelter after. she was just so friendly and obviously new here, i just needed someone to put her somewhere safe (we lived by the freeway, by a train, by the main alternative to the freeway, and by two dog parks). but nobody really could hold onto her, so i had to hope she'd show up again when i came back from work. she didn't. i left her food out anyway.

i took her to the Humane Society Shelter closest to us because they have a microchip scanner. and she did have a chip! that was completely empty! apparently, that's a thing!! the guy there asked if i was going to keep her then, and i hadn't really thought that far. i had made the mistake of naming her and thinking she was cute, and she had done the legwork of being a cuddly motherfucker who purred constantly whenever i was around

she'd only ever appear in the early morning, when i was on my way to my shift or a midterm. about a week or two passed like this with me having no idea where she was for the rest of the day. turns out, according to said allergic family members, Allegra actually never left the house. she would hide on our roof or on our back porch's clutter or in our droopy lawn plants (like our sweetgrass) to hide from the outdoor cats or other dangers (she's a smart cat who hates the sound of cars and would hide whenever any one was particularly loud)

i'm pretty sure she's plenty well-cared for tho. in fact, i'm almost positive she's a very spoiled cat. for example, i have backups of everything x2. i have one of everything in my living area and a copy in my bedroom, should i need to close her in there when allergic family members are over (i also carry all the big allergy medication brands as a back-up in case i get a visitor who forgot to take their medication, which includes me being stocked with allegra the medication lmao) and then i also have a back-up of all her stuff in my closet should anything break. i always make sure all my windows are open when i leave for class/shifts so she can have "Cat TV" since birds do fly around the area. she has a ton of toys (she has a toy box actually) and i bought her multiple hideaways (like her shark pictured here; she also has a cactus that's pretty cute). also, ontop of having a good breakway collar, her microchip now reads my information. but yeah, im still working on the money to get her one more of everything for the house we visit for the holidays so i don't have to carry everything. i do a lot of research still-- on both cats and Siamese-- to make sure i am doing everything to make her happy, since her world is just me and our apartment now

i called out for her-- i had long since started calling her Allegra as a joke, because its a name of a popular allergy medication and so much of my family was allergic-- and shrugged sadly when she didn't come out. i had just put my stuff down to get my key out when i heard a familar crybaby. turns out, she had been sleeping in our sweetgrass and i had woken her up. she ran over and i called my family to take my things inside while i used the rest of my day to get her to a shelter. i put on a cat harness+leash before trying to out her in the cardboard box. don't buy cardboard boxes from Pet Co. they're shit. she broke out of it Alien style before i had even fully reversed out of the driveway. i had to improvise her leash into a seatbelt instead

but yeah. i say my favorite gremlin is dog-like because:

she has an overbite, so she looks like she's got her lip jutted out in a pout all the time. what's dog-like about it is this makes her slobber whenever she's excited or content (and i've grown up with mastiffs, who slobber so much you need 2 rags per room dedicated to their slobber)

hesitatingly, i called my only family member that was semi-local to see if he would be okay with fostering her until i was going to move (which was less than 6 months away) because, otherwise, i wasn't going to be able to keep her. and she was definitely going to be adopted immediately. he and his wife said of course, without hesitation. they were both huge cat lovers and they were, emotionally, my closest family members; so i had kept them in the loop about my cat quest. and they had already discussed potentially fostering Allegra, knowing my request was a possibility (read: probability). he drove over from his workplace to pick her up, with his own carrier, and drove the roughly 2 hours from our house back to his

she meows when people are at the door and greets them by begging for pets

she loves shoes. she steals my tennis shoes because she loves the laces and she will try to swat at them when im tying them. her claw getting stuck and forcing me to not continue has worked to make me late multiple times. but she also will lay down around my friends' feet and rub her face against their shoes, flipflops, and toes. one of my friends likes to joke that allegra has a foot fetish. she also can and will put her face into my tennis shoes and try to sleep like that. that's my bastard baby

i visited their house about once a week. except during finals, where i didn't visit for two or three weeks since i didnt have any exams so much as i had projects. (allegra was PISSED at me when i came back, my cuddly kitty refused to come near me and would run away when forcibly placed on my lap. she even swiped at me. by the next visit, she was grumpy but happier. by the one after that, everything was back to normal) i really liked visiting those family members too; it made us even closer. though it still annoys the male how much research i do about cat-care (as opposed to just accepting everything everyone tells me as gospel). i researched even down to "how to best pet a cat". i did this since, due to said allergic family members, i had never owned a cat and therefore didnt osmosisly process how to best care for one. i've also never been fully fauthful of people's advice that's based on "This is how we've/the media always done it". my history with mastiffs showed that not all breeds are the same and that you do have experts to utilize within your phone, and they are experts over peers for a reason. so i looked up dumbass questions like "how to best pet a cat" since i'm not an expert and Jackson Galaxy and friends are right there in my phone

she wants to play constantly. she loves tug of war the most, but anything involving chase has her going at full-speed

ive spoken to fellow cat-owners and mastiff-owners about this, and i thought this was interesting: when she isn't playing, she's sleeping. which is what mastiffs and cats do. and when i get up, she follows me. which is what our mastiffs do. and while i do stuff, she sits and waits by the doorway or else walks around my feet until i tell her to sit out of the way. which is what our mastiffs do. and then i go to sit down again, and she lays down as close as she can and goes back to sleep, which is what our mastiffs do. apparently, none of my friends cats do this; their cats just, at best, wake up to watch them leave and then their cats go back to sleep in the same place regardless of if they come back

Allegra likes to sleep at the foot of my bed for bedtime, at least for a majority of it

but, regardless if my worries, allegra seems happy! she cuddles with her claws out all the time (not sticking into my skin, just out) which is a sign of contentment. she'll also use her claws to keep me in place, like a fucking seatbelt (example pictured in post); it's where her claws will dig into the furniture and i cannot get up because of her, the possessive piece of shit. but she also gives me tons of Slow Blinks of I Love You. and she always runs to greet me at the door. and it's really funny how, anytime there's guests over, she tries to make it obvious that she's my favorite over (usually through politely tapping my leg with her paw to ask and recieve pets, and then giving everyone a very Cat Surrounded By Knives grin cuz i havent petted any of THEEEMMM lmao) she's hilarious

she doesn't like to be carried unless it means she's going with me somewhere outside the house. then she's as well-behaved as a chihuahua in a purse

she licks my hands all the time. and she licks my face to wake me up (at 4AM, Allegra, go aWAY)

she loves smelly clothes. the shoe part should tell you that much tho. for our mastiffs, we would leave them a smelly piece of clothing between washes to comfort via smell. Allegra, in a similar vein, was not impressed when i bought a laundry basket with a lid (almost carrying her to the communal laundry room once was enough, thank you!)

in the same vein as the clothes: she also loves blankets too. the more Me Smelling the blanket, the better (aka she doesn't like brand new blankets until its been like. month two or three of use). this is largely because i love blankets. but she kneads them, purring, even if im not using them. and when i am, she takes my using them as an invitation for cuddles

she sits whenever i tell her "NO" like 'who me? i was not doing a bad. i am but small creature'

she asks for a daily walk. she doesn't like the idea of being an outdoor cat. she just wants walks. like, she has lived several months not going outside and has been super happy. she made it clear on her adoption day that she was done with outside. she was perfectly content with being an indoor cat! still is, in a way! i ruined it. for myself. me. i was worried she wasn't being stimulated enough, so i experimented taking her on a walk and now i have created a monster. now she sits by the door and cries until i get out her harness and leash. which she hates her harness in a "no ball, only throw" kinda way. but she has also proven hates going outside alone since she is now ALSO scared of everything (remember those outdoor cats Allegra The Stray would hide from? how they would run away from strangers?? yeah. now that she has a Person, Allegra's turned into one of Them now). yeah.. she runs the fuck away (or as far as she can with a leash) from people she sees on her walks now. and it is pretty obvious she hates cars and dogs too, because when i have walked her outside of our new complex she is too petrified to move. like, she freezes even when just being close to a street. she likes our complex's janky carpeted hallways between the apartments, and she likes the ability to hide behind my legs. being an outdoor cat is something Allegra has decided she is not a fan of. if i try to change things up scenery-wise, she always asks to go home as soon as possible and runs into the apartment if our walks turn too much into what her life was before being adopted (aka. streets/cars, lawns, people walking). she wants walks. she LOVES and BEGS for walks. but not be outside. walks. even though she still hates her harness lmao

and that's Allegra! she's aproximately 2 years old, i've had her for less than a year, and she's assumedly a purebred Siamese cat. and she's also my ESA, or Emotional Support Animal. if applicable, a cuddly and loving pet is helpful for keeping mental health more stable. in my experience of getting one, it was fairly easy to get it permitted; especially a cat because they're super easy to get registered as compared to a dog. i am lucky enough to have regular physician as my doctor that empathizes with mental health and knows it not to be her area of expertise so much as the patient+their therapist (but also i have a history of attempted treatment on my medical record since i was 16), so my getting registered was literally just me asking for a doctor's note and her giving it to me near immediately. i can't take Allegra with me to classes or resteraunts or anything, nor do i even want to, but it forces apartments/hotels to HAVE to let me board with my ESA and to do so without an additional fee. however, i don't know if that's how ESAs work internationally or even in all of the states of America, the country where i live. but it definitely helps to have someone who needs me to get up everyday, who can never trigger me, who makes me laugh with their hijinks, and who cuddles with me regardless of if i have had a good day or bad day. Allegra is especially good at her job by being especially attentive whenever i am anxious. even if it's just me getting a little bit anxious because i'm late in turning an assignment in but have logically decided it doesn't matter because the assignment is only 2 points anyway, just turn it in late and don't focus on it; and she starts patting my leg almost continuously asking for pets inbetween rubbing herself on my legs. it's why i let her get away with never paying rent. i'm really glad she chose me. we both got really lucky with that decision ♡

i don't want to assume your situation, so i won't recommend an ESA for you so much as just remind you that they exist. i hope this all helps you feel supported and encouraged to continue to find the small wonders ♡♡♡

#I REALLY DO LOVE THIS #AND ALLEGRA #10/10 would die for her #Thank you for taking the time to send this in!#I really really am happy #i had like a real bad mental health day/week/year idk #so this makes me so grateful!#long post #not choices #shwarmi #cats #kitty #submission

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