#i know i'm disappointed too

[phuljari]

me fr

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[lazylittledragon]

i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen

[ruporas]

only human

[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.

The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]

[immortalbutterflycos]

Welp, it turns out that writing when you're so sick that it hurts to even try to think is a lot harder than I expected. Looks like the Jegulus is going to have to wait until after the hurricane~

Welp, ja boi had to call out for strep throat, so guess who's writing some Jegulus fanfiction before the hurricane hits~

[pinkfey]

remember how in dao there were always like multiple flirty options u could just spring on ur love interest and it wasn't something that was brushed past it would stop a conversation dead in its tracks to have a cute secondary flirty offshoot with small variations dependent on the flirty option u initially chose with a unique course correction to get back on topic after...... yeah.

[problemnyatic]

We're never getting out of this as long as tumblr keeps trying to be Woke 4chan

[fictionadventurer]

Blue: A Retelling of "The Blue Castle" by M.J. Rednow

Valancy is not a rebel. Every moment of her day is controlled by the artificial intelligence that monitors her movements, but she doesn't dare to resist strict rules of Stirling Society. Any who object are cast out of their safe city and banished to the toxic, dangerous Wilderness. Yet Valancy dreams of freedom, inspired by the secretly subversive writings of John Foster. His supposedly scientific texts speak of the beauty of nature and spark thoughts of society beyond Stirling control--yet, for Valancy, these can be nothing more than dreams. Then the infallible AI medical doctor informs Valancy that she has less than a year to live. Valancy realizes that she doesn't want to die never having lived, and she begins to push back against the restrictions of her life. She speaks out against the pointless rules, helps an invalid deemed useless to society, and is eventually cast out into the Wilderness, where she marries a mysterious outcast who teaches her to brave the wonders and terrors of nature--and maybe, to bring down the Stirling society once and for all.

[t-errifier]

sending anon hate to people & then admitting you did it - acting like you still have the moral high ground? brooo, go outside. i don't understand the mindset, i really don't.

[aroaceleovaldez]

i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies

BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I love the romances in datv (Neve my Beloved) but I can't get over all the talk about how it'd have the most romantic romances in the series. They aren't bad but most romantic? I wish I didnt go into it with that expectation lol

Oof. Yeah.

My opinion on Veilguard is complicated, but when it comes to the romances...? I feel that, anon. I feel that so damn hard.

The romances are one of my favorite things about a Dragon Age game because it's a choice that can, when done well, completely change your experience playthrough to playthrough, y'know?

And for me there are a handful of romances where if I don't choose them, if I do an alternate playthrough...? I miss them so goddamn much. I miss them enough that I actively struggle to even finish alternate playthroughs. That's how much they've impacted me.

I'll always hold Alistair up as like.... the romance for me. Honestly, I think DAO set the S-tier of romances with him, Leliana, Morrigan, and Zevran as far as writing goes and how interwoven their romances are with the HoF's arc and the plot... they're not just fluff that's tacked on, it's not just, "oh, if you romance them, you get one unique scene toward the end of the game, and some different dialogue!"

I could go on, and on, and on about Alistair and his romance with my Tabris. Hell, even outside of the romance, just their dynamic in the game. Their friendship! I could write essays about the little nuances and how beautiful and tragic his romance can be, and the branching paths, hhhhnnngggggg you can have so many different endings with him!

In DAO, you have many opportunities to flirt. You can give them gifts, and special gifts give you cutscenes where you actually talk about the gift you're giving them. You can set the pace of the relationship. You have different paths you can take and you can discover cute things, like okay.... for Alistair, there's the conversation where he gives you the rose. If you go out with only him in your party, and trigger that, you can get special extra dialogue because you two are alone.

Like... they thought about that. They thought about the player taking just Alistair around somewhere. Why would they? Why would you?

Unless you're roleplaying walking around Redcliffe together to gather supplies to bring back to camp and accidentally talk to him, triggering the scene on the docks.

It's little things like that, special things, that make every playthrough with a different romance feel unique. It feels like the writers put so much thought and care into every situation you'd be in, they thought about how the romance would not only affect your playthrough, but how it'd affect the character you're romancing beyond just... ending the game with a partner.

Hell, it makes you want to replay the game because if this romance was this good, what are the others like? Y'know?

Which is WHY when I heard them make the very bold claim that Veilguard would be the most romantic, I had doubts... because they're competing with Alistair. They're competing with Morrigan, Leliana, and Zevran. Not to mention literally everyone else in DA2 and DAI...... except maybe Sebastian.

If there's one thing I can say about Veilguard's romances, it's that at least they're better than Sebastian's... which is not a high bar because Sebastian's DLC, can only be romanced by a lady Hawke, and from what I've heard/seen of the romance, they don't even get a kiss...

Look, if Veilguard wasn't a Dragon Age game, I'd say the romances are fine, good even... for what they are. Because they do have good moments! They're just lacking, and in some cases, feel unfinished... like there are scenes missing.

I romanced Davrin on my first playthrough, Lucanis on my second. My third playthrough with Carver as Rook is undecided, though I'm thinking either Neve or Bellara.

With Davrin I played an elven Grey Warden, and that really enhanced his romance with me because 1. surprise, surprise, CJ really likes the Grey Wardens and when the opportunity for another Grey Wardens in love story to happen, she picked it, and 2. It felt like Nesryn and him had actual chemistry when talking about warden things, which led into feeling they had chemistry outside of that.

With Lucanis, I played a Lord of Fortune because I thought it'd be kind of funny for this himbo of a man, the literal embodiment of sunshine, to be a pirate who then falls in love with an Antivan Crow. And I have..... feelings. About Lucanis' romance. Especially as someone who also is an Andersmancer. It's good, but also not. It healed parts of me, only to then do more damage when I realized that Lucanis feels like the AO3 version of Anders who is chill and controlled and Justice is also in love with you, actually........ and that brings up conflicted feelings within me.

Looking back at these two now, I prefer Davrin's romance. But the problem with Veilguard's approach to romance, in my opinion, is not just the lack of content. It's not just the feeling that some of the companions have better chemistry with each other than they do with Rook. It's not just the weird pacing of it all.

God, how do I word this.... when I play Tabris, Alistair is crucial to her arc. Absolutely crucial. Remove the slow burn of their romance, or remove their friendship, and she's a completely different person.

When I play Ed Hawke, romancing Anders is interwoven into his arc. The playthrough wouldn't be the same if they remained friends. The impact of the ending would hit entirely different. Then, when I play Aris Hawke, romancing Isabela adds such a different flavor to the story. It's like night and day. And they're both great, that's the thing!

I think Cullen and Josephine are my favorite romances in DAI because they're not traveling companions, they're your advisors. It's different, and it adds layers to their romances. I'm in war table meetings with them. We're leading this operation together, and I find those dynamics so interesting.

In my opinion, the romances do not add anything crucial to Rook's story. At the end of my second playthrough, I wondered if I should bother trying the others out... which is not great!

Though, honestly, a criticism I have of Rook is in both playthroughs I did, they felt like the same character with different skins despite me picking different choices. Different faction, different dialogue.

Carver's run is going a little different but I think that's just my brain filling in those blanks, which.... yeah. I feel like any depth Rook and the romances had was concocted in my mind because the game didn't give me much to chew on.

So even though I did two romances that feel different, Rook remains the same in the end, and like.... that's not something I can say about HoF, Hawke, or the Inquisitor.

There's always going to be headcanon and personal writing when it comes to DA, that's how fandom works, y'know? But unlike the previous games, this actively feels unfinished, and like it expects me to finish it for them.

Yes, you get cute, flirty banter with them, and you get the scene where they go to your room... and from what I've heard Emmrich actually gets a bonus scene so like good for him.

I mean that genuinely, too. Seriously, good for him to be the standout of having an extra, romance specific scene. I haven't seen anyone mention any of the other companions getting one.

But do I feel like the romances impacted Rook to the same level of depth? No, unfortunately. And it sucks! Because I do enjoy the companions! And the bits we do get of the romances, I like!

But do not try to tell me they're the most romantic in the series because they're not, I'm so sorry. I want them to be! I want them to feel fleshed out and interwoven with Rook's arc within the actual game, and not through headcanon! I see the potential, I see the intrigue of certain Rooks with certain companions!

I could go on and on about this, and I will if anyone else asks, but yeah, anon.... I feel you.

Also, I'd like to hear other opinions on this since I've only done two of the romances, so maybe there is more depth to be found that I just don't know about. Maybe I haven't found my golden combo yet.

Plus, I just like reading about other people's experiences with DA romances, I find it super interesting.

[the-darklings]

I just wanna let you know that I LOVE today i bury you in me and that I've loved it since I read it a few years (?) Ago and that ive recently reread it. But imma need my smut girl its been a while🤨🤨(i mean it in the most non-pressuring way possible)

wow, thank you for reading and enjoying the story so much you came back to it!!!

and i'll take this moment to be real ig? while i'm still immensely proud of tibyim and still believe it's my best work both in terms of storytelling AND technical aspect, it's unlikely i'll ever write more for this fandom or gaiman's work in general.

he's a gross little man and I don't want to promote his work in any way.

[k2ulhu]

hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with

[arvolna]

I bought bg3 and started playing and oh my god. I kick my feet, giggle like a mad man and for some reason slap my legs hard whenever I see him or hear him talk. And the line "Warm... Warm... Hot." got me off guard. SIR? HELLO? I'M BLUSHING RED AND BLUSHING RED WAS NOT ON MY PLANS FOR TODAY SIR. I NEED TO WRITE YOU A FINE. I'M GONNA REPLAY THE SCENE ON MY SAVES AND YOURE GONNA SAY THE SAME THING AGAIN AND AGAIN SIR. ENOUGH.

[pearlcaddy]

LOCKWOOD & CO. 1.08

[patiann345]

I'm flabbergasted, I'm shocked, I'm disappointed, and frankly? I'm indignant.

In a series with so, so very little in terms of representation in canon, a series that had what I THOUGHT was 2-3 confirmed POC (we'll get to that 2-3 bit btw), 1 Jewish man, a handful of women who's writing is hit-or-miss, and no queer characters because according to one of the creators "their identities don't matter"... (Tell that to the straight characters like Henry, Thomas, Allison, Susie, Linda who's not even a character and didn't need to exist in the first place-)

Preview for that graphic novel dropped! Spoilers!!

Norman Polk is white.

I'm. astonished. For the record, because I know someone will likely bring it up, I am aware that there was never a point in the series where it was ever actually confirmed that Norman was a black man. But it was very much the consensus for most people that he was coded to be POC. To see this is just.. it's disheartening.

Dreams Come to Life seemingly (egg on my face for thinking Norman was black ig???) had 3 POC characters; Norman, Thomas, and Jacob. This was... maybe changed to 2 later on, as JDS went back on coding Thomas as a black man (an announcement they made in a Discord server of all things?? Never publically???) which they may have gone back on again later since the wiki (not official, for the record) recognizes him as black.

3 characters, and we're now down to possibly one; I say possibly because it depends on how Thomas is represented in this book. If he's black, we've got 2. If he's white?

One. One character who's never made an appearance in the games; only in spinoff material in a book. One.

In the simplest way I can put it, I'm upset. There's lots more I can talk about here; how I think this opening is a disservice and bastardization of the original writing for cutting so much out, how while it can look worse (I've read a good handful of fnaf books I KNOW it can look worse) I can't say it really looks any good, how Buddy looks like he's 12, how the yellows are garish and piss-looking. But what has me the most upset is Norman, because he was 1 of 2-3 POC characters, out of a cast of dozens upon dozens. And sure, there could be more. But we only had 3 confirmed. Maybe 2.

And now we may be down to one.

I actually spoke with my partner a few nights ago about how nervous I was about the graphic novel. Because of how the cover looked, I wasn't expecting anything great. But I knew there was a chance they'd double down and be like 'Nope, actually Thomas is white, always was' I was anticipating that, and I still am. And I looked at them and told them something roughly along the lines of- "I can live with them making Thomas white, cause of them trying to back-peddle once, I wouldn't be surprised, but I don't know how I'd handle them whitewashing Norman."

I still don't know how to handle it. To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. People have done amazing designs of Norman for AUs and personal headcanons. Hell, all the staff really. And a majority of them, you'll find, are black. Almost everyone thought he was black. Not this pale Afton knock-off (seriously his hair looks greasy as hell, I know it's a stylization of the lighting but it looks gross)

I'm just throwing my thoughts out here for anyone who cares. Maybe most people won't mind, and fine. Again, it wasn't stated, it was seemingly coding, but clearly, we were wrong because he's paler than the fucking moon. But this is upsetting. This is genuinely upsetting to see. We have so little rep in this series, and the number is somehow dwindling.

What. the Fuck.