#i know i mentioned episode 1 but it's a huge fucking mess so have the paint it white scene instead lmao

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch - LiTA (Rain/Payu) 1

Because I'm petty, I had the crowd pick which blacklisted shows I would watch for the month of Pride. I had planned to space them out more, but due to wacky weather over here (tornadoes, thunderstorms, softball-sized hail, and flash flooding), I had plenty of time to binge watch the first show, Love in the Air, which perfectly aligns with my real life theme of stormy weather, so I'm posting my random thoughts in five parts, two for each couple and the special episode.

I'm seated, I'm watching, and I'm being petty.

It starts at "2:00 AM" - Oh no. Nothing could happens at 2 in the morning, and the time just keeps going. This event isn't even going to begin until 3 AM?! Take me home, NOW! I don't care how fine these men are. I'm stopping for mini churros at Jack in the Box on the way home and going to bed. I'M OUT!

I've seen plenty of pictures of Boss in the past two years, but I still lost my breath a bit when he took off his mask because he was looking delicious in the rain.

RAIN WANTS A GIRL?!

Out of everything I saw about this show, NOBODY mentioned that Rain was trying to get a girl. I'm shook. That's a huge part of the plot I never saw mentioned. There were rumors of the actor (Noeul) being with Milk (of MilkLove), and I saw more of THAT in connection to this show than about him liking a girl within it. Where are y'alls priorities?! *looks at Tonnam and breathes deeply*

Payu's room is IN the garage? But what about the fumes? What about the noise? What about a good work/life balance?!

😬😬😬

I don't care if this boy is snuggling in his sleep, Payu is on my shit list! Instead of being like "oh, I misunderstood the signals," he pushed harder then got upset. Even if Rain secretly does want him, I need a verbalization. This is the end of the first episode, and I'm mad as hell at a bisexual on the first day of Pride. Damn.

Start of episode two and I know Rain's voiceovers are there to make me not be upset at Payu, but . . . I'm pissed at this man! He did all of that work, said it was free, but now there is "another" charge, then he shows up at this boy's school when he could've just talked to him at the shop, and feels him up in the bathroom stall. I am BIG mad!

I will admit, this is hot. Still very mad at my fellow bisexual for him saying he wasn't trying to force himself on Rain (even though he was about to mark a map on that boy's neck), but they got chemistry.

My fellow Slut for Christ, only God can judge you, but know that I am too.

All racetracks look the same so Pit Babe and Cutie Pie could have been filmed here for all I know, but I have this at 1.5 speed, unmuted, so I hear this is a legit hype rap song. WEARETHEGOOD's "Threat" with these colors?! Energy? Matched.

HE IS SPANKING HIM?!

I don't kink shame but both people should be willing participants in this endeavor. Then just to drop him on the floor like that?! That does not inspire trust! This is not Blue Boy behavior, sir! But this lecture after is. That is what I need from you. Remind him that this isn't some petty school shit but actual gangstas he is messing with. Remind him that he can't be reckless. THAT'S HOW BLUE BOYS GET KISSED!

Now it's a competition? Payu wants to fuck Rain so badly he looks stupid, yet Rain is over here saying he is going to make Payu want to fuck him, what? harder? What is this all about?!

What do you mean you didn't want to show Rain your bad side? Has all this been your good side up until this point?! Cause, dead ass, this side ain't looking that great either with you being upset you weren't sleeping with him on the first night and stalking him. So you're going to get worse?

Y'all can't sucker me in with red and blue colors. I Told Sunset About You tried that, and I'm still being petty about it. But whose house are we at now?! This is a different room than before. Payu got multiple places?! In this economy?

Prapai strolling in all happy because he had a good night . . . Sir, I'll get to your ass soon because I know how you got that happiness, and you are on the same shit list as your fellow bisexual bestie.

I am Sky and our judgement cannot be measured.

TWINS?!

All this blue between these two yet they are straight up lyin' every two seconds. The fuckery.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

I would've let him turn it in, but I appreciate that he looks so good while looking so sad with that warm glow.

Payu gets one positive point for leaving his arms open for Rain to come to him, but now that warm glow feels sus like maybe I should be paying more attention to Rain's yellow/orange backpack.

And now for a negative point because even though I keep seeing black x white, Payu stays morally grey by playing with this boy's emotions and hiding from him in his own shop! These after scenes are not doing Payu any favors.

Payu, do I like you? Do I hate you? Do I wanna fuck you? Do I wanna kick you in the balls? All of the above?

Guess I'll find out in the next three episodes.

[misshoneysplayhouse]

Wine Pon You| h.zoe

since the new episode has us hange fans in distress, i have to bless you all with this, i cant get them out of my head and ofc you know i'm higher than a horse dick rn so enjoy, i'm so glad i'm attracting more hange lovers to my page I love yall frl.

song list for this cuz.....babyyyyy my playlist did justice fa meeeee

Remember You- By Wiz Khalifa ft the Weeknd

Wine Pon You- By Doja Cat

Too Deep- dvsn

CW: dom!hange, thigh riding, oral(f!receiving) orgasm denial, backshots pet names (Princess, doll, pretty girl) spitting is mentioned dacryphilia, overstimulation, fingering, riding and just nasty talking in general, Hange is very vocal

The sounds of heels could be heard behind you, there were girls frantically running around, drenched in anticipation as the big news flooded through the locker room. You could be found in front of your vanity mirror, brushing the finishing touches and making sure your outfit was on just right.

Being a stripper wasn't exactly the life path you had set course for but the fast money became addicting, almost making close to 1 to 2,000 dollars a night, the endless drinks and hot ass people with pockets heavier than the smoke in the building, you couldn't stop now.

But tonight was big, Eren the club's owner had told the you all that the city's biggest bachelor Levi was gonna be in the building along with his whole entourage and that he needed the baddest heifers on the floor!

When he mentioned that, you instantly came to mind, you were a fan favorite in the club which caused a lot of drama to stir up in the lockerroom. That included the ugly stares, the pathetic attempts to steal and take from your money pile, and one thing you didn't play about was your money!

Getting up from the mirror you looked at the text Eren had sent saying to meet him in his office so you snuck your money bag behind it and switched your way up the stairs, hearing the teeth sucking and smart ass remarks from the other girls.

"There she is, my pretty little money maker.." He smiles, watching your body walk in, eyes flickering towards your chest.

"You called me up here for what? It better not be what I think it is." You spoke with a smile, rolling your eyes.

"No good luck kiss tonight, got it." He laughed. "But no, I just learned that Hange, the CEO of Zoe Productions is gonna be with Levi tonight and instead of putting your focus on him, I want you on Hange." He begins, pulling the blunt hanging on his ear to light it.

"Hange? I've never heard of them so they can't be that big." You joked.

"Oh but they are, so don't half ass, they aren't some old geezer- matter of fact, I'll let you see for your own eyes, they just pull up." He smirks, looking at his phone while smokes blows from his nose.

"Yeah, yeah i guess i'll be the judge of them." You chuckle, not taking a single word he said seriously.

He follows you out of his office while you turned one way and he went the other, there were already rumors of you and him fucking and messing around so you didn't want to be caught coming out of his office together to fuel the fire.

the music blasted throughout the building as yoou walked around, skimming the area to find the so called CEO so you could get a good idea on how to drain their pockets dry. The place was packed but you expected nothing less on a Friday night.

After spending a minute too long looking for them, you decided to rack up a few small lap dances in the meantime, you saw one of your coworkers heading towards a huge group of people but you couldn't make out the surprisingly tall figure.

That's when you felt an arm pull you away from the huge crowd, you recognized the cologne and sucked your teeth when you made eye contact with Eren.

"The hell you yanking me up like a toddler for?"

"I don't have time for the complaints, I need you on stage, Sasha sprained her ankle and all the girls are stuck on trying to get into Levi's section. You know how to make a show.." He pleaded.

"Hange will get a better look at you on stage, which will definitely make them call you to the champagne room, and that's the kinda money we need tonight." He went on.

You started to ponder for a slight second, finally agreeing to step on the stage, you weren't foreign to the stage since that's how you started out, you grew your fanbase from it so tonight wouldn't be any different.

I'm currently playing Remember You by Wiz Khalifa and The Weeknd, and umm..I just came everywhere..it'll definitely enhance this whole scene

"If i could have yall's attention,I have a beautiful woman coming out to peform and I want all eyes to the stage, she needs no introduction and hopefully she'll show me a thing or two tonight after this.." Connie starts in the mic, lowering the music.

"Coming to the stage, The devious Miss(S/N)!"

The music flooded your ears as Connie had the speakers in the building at max, the bass thudding through your chest and the lights dimmed to show a cool purple LED like light behind you, almost like the people were watching your shadow.

You started your set, slow and sinfully teasing the crowd by starting on the floor of the stage, you could feel a certain set of eyes on your body out of the hundreds of eyes on you. It felt hot, almost burning with pleasure and you wanted to find its source.

You hooked your leg around the pole, twirling around and climbing up to continue on with your set, spreading your legs wide as you spun around.

The feeling of the bills falling on your skin was like your own personal drug, and tonight you felt as if you were in a shower, yeah Fridays night were packed but this felt off. You dropped down from the pole into a split looking into the crowd, that's when you found the burning eyes staring a hole in you.

Hange.

Wearing a grey suit with the jacket hanging on their shoulders, a black wife beater with a single link gold chain hanging from their neck and a cigar between their slender fingers. You expected some old, 50 year old with a few strands of hair on their head, your mind scrambled up once your eyes connected with theirs.

They were leaning back in the chair, legs spread apart like a slut and their hair in half up half down style. They push up their glasses with their middle finger, adjusting their sitting position by pushing their hips up, leaning forwards towards the stage.

You took this opportunity to "interact" with your fans, crawling towards them to get a better look at what you were dealing with. You've dealt with attractive customers before but this might need a bit more self control.

They had a scar on the left eye, slashing through their eye brow and pretty rings decorated on theirs fingers, you notice them pull out a big band of cash, pulling out a 100 dollar bill and slipping it in your bralette.

You bite your lip, taking the bill and sliding it down to put it on the side of your thong, they take another bill and place it on the other side watching your body move as you went to the other side. You couldn't linger for long or show too much favoritism, no matter how good they looked, your only mission was to tease them long enough to get them in the room.

Once you finished up the lights went back to black and you rushed backstage all the way to the locker room to change and freshen up, you wet up your bottoms on stage and because you knew it was a matter of time before Hange requested you.

You chose a green outfit this time with your breasts sitting out perfectly and the tallest heels you could walk in, heading back into the crowd.

Right on cue, Eren comes up to send you the back and usually you were quick to go ahead and get it over with but you hesitated for a second.

"Whatever happens in the champagne room stays in the champagne room" was the sign that hung over the hallway of the rooms, you could feel two heartbeats colliding with each other as you found the number of the room. You had to get yourself together, this was just another client, another business person to drain and nothing to get yourself worked up on.

But all of your common sense flew out of the window as you walked inside. They were standing tall, pouring two glasses of champagne and handing one to you as you closed the door.

"Thank you.." You said, following them as they called you over with one finger.

"I've heard so much about you..I needed to see for myself if all the talk was true.." They started as they patted their lap, signaling you to straddle them.

You obeyed as you took a sip from your glass, a small smirk forming in the corner of your lips.

"Funny enough, I haven't heard much about you, is that intentional?" You asked, pretending to adjust yourself as you felt a bulge right on your core, you mentally widened your eyes since you weren't expecting them to be this hard.

"For my line of work it is, from what the public knows I own a movie production studio, and that's all they need to know." They smirked, their thumb in the crease of your thighs and their fingers on your ass pushing your hips to slightly create friction

"So you do porn?" You said, adding everything together while still subconsciously bucking your hips a little faster, hoping they wouldn't notice but it looked a little too late.

"And I'm looking at my new project as we speak.." They smirked, finishing the glass with their eyes slowly fucking your body while pushing their hips up, making you gasp.

"I'm not doing anything I don't get paid for.." You spat, looking directly into their eyes, both of your faces just inches away.

"You don't have to worry about that, I'd personally pay you...you wouldn't be fucking anyone doll, you'd be fucking me...I want you to be my personal pornstar princess.." They spoke, their voice warm and hushed, sending a line of chills down your spine.

Biting your lip you moved your hips faster, with both of Hange's hands attached guiding you perfectly.

"Show me how nasty you really are.." They continued, placing kisses up and down the middle of your chest still keeping the eye contact while they slipped a nipple in their mouth.

You finally dropped the shy girl act and took Hange's hand off your hip, moving it exactly where you needed it to be, they slide the thin piece of fabric to the side, your sticky fluids dripping out of you as their finger eases it way inside, practically sucking it in.

"You talk too much.." You mumble, letting a few moans escape from your throat as they add another, curling their fingers and hitting your g-spot like they knew your body. A large groan followed next when their speed increased.

"You usually get this wet with all your clients?" They smugly ask, ignoring the smart remark, with their fingers speeding up purposely so you couldn't form a single sentence.

"I-I dont-"

"Shhh, shh princess, let your body talk for me." They teased, listening to the nasty squelching sounds coming from your soaked pussy, you could feel your stomach tighten up, and the palm of their hand rubbing your clit, you heard yourself whimper before covering your mouth with your hands.

You felt a bit embarrassed that you were so close from you both doing barely anything, but you couldn't care it felt too fucking good to hold back. Just as soon as you mentally let go, they pull out of you causing you to whine from the empty feeling.

"Why'd you stop? You knew I was cl-"

They shut you up by shoving their soaked fingers into your mouth, watching you suckle on them with strings of saliva forming on your lips.

"I knew you were close, only a nasty bitch like you can clamp down on my fingers like that..on your stomach for me." They spoke, palming themselves watching you arch your back on the elongated couch.

Being the nasty slut you were, you shook your ass in anticipation spreading your pussy lips and rubbing your swollen clit thinking you were finna get stuffed full of dick. Your whole body shivered as you felt the warm wetness from their tongue licking a stripe from your clit to your quivering cunt.

Their tongue easily sliding in between your folds, sucking you like they wanted to drain you entirely. Your eyes crossed when they spat on your pussy, watching it drip down, rubbing it in with their hand, sticking their thumb in and out of you just to tease.

"You like eating me like a bitch in heat?"

"Just as much as you like screaming like one.." They replied, wrapping their lips back in the same spot, flicking and swirling their tongue as their hands joined in, pumping in and out.

"Oh god, fuckkk...please! I'm cumming! I'm- HANGE!" You screamed out, your body shakes with your cunt squirting fluids all over the couch, not realizing you slipped up and said their name.

"Such a pretty mess you made..and I thought you didn't know too much about me.." Hange mocked, cleaning you up and slapping your thighs to keep you from squirming, you felt your stomach in multiple knots from the sensitivity. "Didn't take you to be a squirter.."

"Me either.." You mumbled, trying to get your head together. But Hange gave you no time for that. Gripping you by the back of your neck they pulled you up, turning your head around for a sloppy kiss.

You normally don't kiss clients but your head was so fogged up and full of them that those rules went out of the question, you'd just have to deal with the lecture later.

You felt them suck your face off in the most disrespectful way possible, sucking on your tongue and biting your lower lip. You couldn't help but moan in their mouth kindly returning the nasty favor.

By now you're completely naked, with them wearing nothing but the black wifebeater and grey dress pants that surely ended up on the floor next. You felt them pick you up, the coldness of a wall on your back and the tip of something poking at your throbbing cunt.

Your legs were in no shape to be fucked against the wall but Hange didn't want to hear a single complaint.

"I'll hold you together, doll, just fall apart in my hands for me..make those pretty sounds like you did before.." They your body whispered in your ear, holding your legs up with their tatted forearms like you were pure putty in their hands, thrusting into you.

You could feel yourself stretching out by the inch as they pound into you, their hair all disheveled with slight moans escaping their throat, feeling you clamp them like a vice.

"Why are you so fucking wet? This all for me doll, hm?" They growled, marking your neck with bruises and bites.

"It's all for you, it's all for you- fuck! Don't stop, please I swear i'm gonna cum all over this dick.."

"That's right princess, talk to me while i'm inside of you..tell me what you want.." Hange egged on.

"I want you to punish me, I wanna squirt all over you and make a fucking mess, Hange fuck me..pleasee." You pleaded, wrapping your legs around them with all the strength you could find, with tears prickling in the corners of your eyes, you were so fucking close.

Hange noticed the tears falling from your face and watched the mascara stain your face, kissing your stained cheeks with a toothy smirk.

"You look so fucking pretty like this..on your knees..hurry up." They panted, pulling out of you while you quickly got on the floor, they followed behind you, smacking your ass while you shook your hips to rub against them.

Pushing back inside, you both groan out with pleasure as Hange continues with the same pace as before, their hands pulling you in deeper.

"You feel so fucking good, s'good..i'm gonna cum all over that pretty face.." They grumbled, rutting into you.

"Please cum in me Hange, PLEASE! Fuck me just like that..just like that baby!" You groaned out, spreading yourself open so they could really hit your shit, you could feel them in the pit of your stomach, repeatedly hitting that spongy spot inside of you, that familiar feeling crept back in and crashed hard, with you letting out a loud scream.

"I'm not done just yet princess, give me one more pretty girl, please?" Hange cooed to you as they fucked you through the shivering orgasm, you swore you started to see stars.

"I know you can doll, just breathe for me." Hange went on, spitting on their hand and rubbing small circles on your clit. You whine from the sensitivity as your legs shake violently, the tears were flowing at this point but you couldn't help why you and your body wanted more.

"I want more of it...fuck..please cum inside of me Hange.." You begged once more, turning your hips up to push back without their help.

"Ouu shit, just like that princess..fuck me back then.." Hange swore, biting their lower lip as they lifted up their shirt, leaning back a bit to watch your ass move up and down on them and listening to your pussy squelch.

Hard smacks to your ass echoed in the room, as their voice escalated to a whimper as you picked up your pace, they finally let you take over and you wanted to pull all your tricks out to prove a point.

"Like that baby? This pussy sucking you dry? I want all of it Hange, give it to me please baby?" You teased, throwing your ass against them, feeling your own orgasm coming in close.

"I'm gonna cum all in this pussy baby, look at me- fuck just like that, you look so fucking good.." They babbled, watching you as you turned your neck to look back at them.

Their face was covered with the color red with a few strands stuck to their forehead, you could tell they were about to spray your insides white, this made you put your all into it, they gripped your hips hard forming crescent shaped indents deep into your skin, sporadically pounding inside of you, whimpering and moaning as you were bound to the ground, stuck in a euphoric state of pleasure.

"I'm cumming, I'M GONNA-" Was all you head before you felt ropes of warm cum fill you up in the nastiest way possible, you could feel them twitch inside of you as they still weren't finished, fucking the cum deeper into you.

Soon enough you creamed all over Hange only adding to the nasty mess they created not too long ago. They finally pulled out and watched as their cum spilled out of you, like an artist looking at a finished project.

You were mentally out of it, your legs gave out and you were on the floor with cum spilling out of your pussy and drool coming from your lips, bitch you were dickmatized.

"So..." They panted. "How do we tell Eren?"

Yallllllll, this is the nastiest thing my fingers have typed- this has been in my drafts for so long...but oh my fuck..i'm fucking pregnant....

[shelbystales]

Ceramic Lessons - Part Two

Cillian Murphy X Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1

Summary: after much insistence from his sister, Cillian attends a ceramics class with her. To his surprise, he feels a connection to the teacher, you. Will this connection go any further or will it be smashed like a bad ceramic project?

Warning: nothing so far, this is also a slow chapter. Mention of abusive relationship

A/N: this is my first time writing for Cillian, so a small reminder that this has nothing to do with his real life. I feel like this is going too slow. But I promise next episode we are having some fun 🤪 Oh, and I should have used that gif on the last episode. Fits perfectly when she’s helping him out

English is my second language, so I apologize in advance for any grammar mistake

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

A smooth R&B song played softly in the background as Cillian entered his brother's apartment. In addition to the music, the open-concept kitchen buzzed with the sounds of pots, water, and food being prepared.

"Cill! Honey, Cill's here," Joana, his brother's wife, greeted him with a warm hug. "Where's the little one, Lukas? I thought he'd come with you."

"Hi, Joana. No, he's with his mom," Cillian replied.

Páide emerged from the kitchen, his white shirt stained with tomato sauce. "Little brother, how was the ceramics class with the not-so-young ladies?" he teased.

"Hey, Pád. I'm sorry, but it was better than poker," Cillian joked, shaking his brother's hand.

"I feel personally attacked by that," Páide laughed, and Cillian chuckled along. "Want a beer?" Cillian nodded.

"How are the kids?" Cillian asked after grabbing a beer and leaning against one of the counters.

"They're good, having a pajama night tonight," Páide replied, returning to the stove.

Páide was an excellent cook. 

He first graduated in gastronomy, then decided to pursue law and become a lawyer. He still says that one of his biggest dreams is to open a restaurant by the beach and retire. Cillian joked that it wouldn't be retirement, but rather a huge headache.

"What are we having for dinner? It smells good," Cillian remarked, glancing at the pot.

"Shepherd's pie," Páide answered with a proud smile.

"Mom's recipe?"

"Of course!" He replied as if there were no other possible answer.

They talked about the projects Cillian was working on. He was currently working on a play, but not as an actor, he was helping write and soon direct the play. He was experimenting. 

And after he told with much enthusiasm his new projects, Pad shared a problem he had at the kids' school. One of his daughters had told another kid to fuck off and even called him an asshole. 

"I was called to the principal's office, man. And believe me, the kid deserved it," he said, putting the pie in the oven, and making Cillian laugh.

"Kids can be cruel," Cillian agreed. "Their honesty can be challenging to handle sometimes."

"No doubt," Pad replied, rubbing his eyes, as Joana entered the kitchen.

"Oh, honey, why don't you change your clothes before your sisters arrive, hm?" Joana said, patting her husband's back. "He can't cook without making a mess," she laughed, wiping a red stain from his shirt with a dishcloth.

"I didn't make that much of a mess," he said and then kissed her. "Be right back," he added, leaving the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Cillian helped Joana tidy up the kitchen and set the table. 

Sile and Orla arrived together shortly after.

Family dinners were a common occurrence among the Murphys. Since their parents' passing, they made great efforts to stay together, to not lose contact.

Sitting at the table, they were always surrounded by good conversation and laughter. Just as they assumed their parents would’ve wanted.

"So, how was the ceramics class, Cill?" Orla asked, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"Good," Cillian replied, taking a sip of his beer.

"You know he liked it so much that he's coming with me again next week," Sile said excitedly.

"All that to avoid poker?" Orla asked, laughing. 

"I get it, Cill. That's why I usually spend the whole Saturday at the salon." Joana said making everyone chuckle

"Hey? I thought it was to look beautiful for me," Pad teased.

"Hm, no, if it's to look beautiful for someone, it's for myself," she laughed and playfully tossed the cloth napkin in his direction.

"What can I say, it was a cool class. You guys should try it" Cillian said, shrugging.

"To be honest, I think he was more interested in our hot teacher," Sile said, drawing surprised looks from the table.

"No way?" Pad said, setting down his fork.

"Come on, Sile. You're making things up," Cillian tried to brush it off.

"I'm not making it up. There was a moment when she was helping him, and the tension in the air was so thick, I could have cut it with scissors," she laughed.

"You dog, Cillian!" Pad said, laughing.

"No, no. I'm no dog.  And you're making things up," Cillian said awkwardly, taking a sip of his beer.

"It was about time you got interested in someone," Orla said. "The teasing is just a form of encouragement, Cill. We're happy for you," she chuckled.

"Yeah, man, it's time for you to get laid, you know. Sorry, but I'm just saying what everyone's thinking," Pad said.

"You're an idiot," Cillian replied, shaking his head and taking a big gulp of his beer.

"Okay, my words were uncalled for, but come on Cill. You need to loosen up. Live life," Pad said. "And having sex is good for you, man."

"You think I don't have sex? That I spent the last few months traveling the world promoting the movie like a fucking priest?" He asked, getting a bit irritated.

"I don't know, I guess so. You don't say anything," Pad replied.

"I don't need to say anything. Especially not about whether I've slept with someone," Cillian continued.

"Please tell me there's no little Murphy running around out there that we don’t know of," Sile joked, making Cillian smile.

"Well, I do miss having a baby in the family," Orla teased.

"You guys are unbearable," Cillian said, smiling. 

"Okay, now that we've confirmed that Cillian is a ladies' man, tell us more about the teacher," Orla said to Sile.

"Oh, she's beautiful and sweet. I think she's single, but I'm not sure," Sile said, finishing her bite. "She's also incredibly patient. Last week, one of the students brought her daughter to the class, a five years old, much like yours Pad. And she taught the little girl with all the patience in the world. The girl accidentally knocked over a vase she had made, a gorgeous vase. I was thinking of buying it myself, the price was over 200 bucks… and she just said, 'It's okay, accidents happen.' I thought it was something out of the ordinary; I would've lost my cool and yelled the hell out of the kid," she laughed. "But I think she's like that because of ceramics. I feel like I'm becoming more patient too. When you're there working on your project, sometimes things don't go well... and you just have to understand that it's not about you; sometimes things just don't work out, no matter how hard you try," Sile looked at Cillian, who gave a shy smile. He knew the message was for him.

"She sounds like a good person," Orla said, smiling.

"She is," Sile agreed. “I think Cill should try something. Ask her on a date… I don't know. That if he wants. Of course”.

She looked at him like a kid that just made a mess and is afraid to get in trouble. 

“Did I tell you guys that Lukas wants a dog?” Cillian changed the subject making everyone laugh

The dinner continued with another topic of conversation. Despite the teasing earlier, Cillian appreciated them and their concern in their… unique ways. 

As the night grew late, everyone helped tidy the dining room and kitchen. 

Orla left earlier because she had a plane to catch early in the morning. She was going to visit her long-distance boyfriend. 

Sile and Cillian got in the elevator together and Sile smiled at her brother “Hey, sorry about throwing you under the bus like that” she said 

“Yeah, you better watch your back” he smiled

“Jokes apart, you should go for it. She is a nice woman” she continued

“You never give up, do you?” He asked, one eyebrow raised. 

“I am your younger sister, you should know I can be a pain. And that's the entire reason I was so relentlessly asking you to come. She's a good woman. You deserve a good woman, Cill” She smiled 

“Goodnight, Sile” Cillia kissed her on the cheek as the elevator’s doors opened and he left right after.

***

That same night, you dined alone in your apartment, sitting on the cold floor while watching a random movie on Netflix.

Although you felt a sense of loneliness, this solitude strangely brought you comfort.

Not more than three years ago, you were trapped in an abusive relationship, yearning to be free and to have some time alone. 

The grim statistics of women murdered by their husbands haunted you, and two years ago, you narrowly escaped becoming a part of that horrifying reality, representing a mere 0.005% or even less.

For a long time, you couldn't bear the thought of being alone, haunted by the events, and the man, who was sentenced to ten years for attempted murder and additional months for physical assault. 

He might be behind bars, but the emotional scars remain. Even after his arrest, he haunted you.

You had counseling meetings twice a week. Thank God your parents were able to help you financially and in any other way possible. 

You went back to live with them for a while, and through a tight support network, you pulled yourself through it all. Your friends and family stuck by you and did everything in their hands to help you. But most important, you never gave up, you forced yourself out of that shitty place.

After your psychiatrist told you to find a hobby, you tried many things; you went to numerous classes, guitar, painting, cooking, dancing, knitting, embroidery and many others… they were fun, but you fell in love with ceramics class. You connected with it in a way that you can't even understand. When you work with clay, your mind goes silent. 

There's nothing in the world that brings you such peace of mind.

It soon became more than a hobby as you started to produce and sell your ceramics. Your clientele mainly consists of restaurants and hotels. Additionally, your young TI brother helped you develop an online shop, to help you sell some of your products. 

You rarely had nightmares about your ex now, and after two years, you finally have your life back. You still have some relapses, yes, especially when, despite all the possible prison securities, he manages to send you letters or messages. 

"Eight years left of peace," that's your mantra now – no need to worry about something that will only happen in eight years.

Easier said than done.

But one step at a time, you even went out on a date this month. A date your friend Sofia set up for you. The date went well, you were having your second date tomorrow.

But he wasn't special. He didn't make you feel anything at all. But you figured he would be a good test run. 

To be honest, it's been a long time since you felt attracted to someone, and for that reason, you were still trying to understand what happened between you and Cillian earlier. Trying to understand where it all came from.

***

A week passed, and you were sitting in a chair on the small veranda of the studio, enjoying a ray of sunlight. 

Your Sunday date was similar to the previous one, nothing extraordinary. He's a nice, handsome, and kind guy, but maybe a bit bland. 

He dropped you off at home and bid farewell with a kiss. The kiss was good, and surprisingly, it ended up in your bed. No, you didn't have sex. You had your doubts if you were ready for that, and Sunday was a confirmation that you weren't. 

You invited him in because you wanted to sleep with him, but it didn't make sense. He spent a good amount of time giving you mediocre oral, and that was as far as you could go with him. 

Perhaps that's why you couldn't do it? Maybe because he seemed bad in bed? He spent around 30 minutes going down on you without making you eliciting a genuine moan.

But it's okay, it's part of the process. Maybe.

"Hey, y/n," Loui called, and you jumped a little.

"Wow, Loui. I didn't see you coming," you said, adjusting in your chair.

"Sorry, I put some pieces in the ceramic kiln, and they're ready. Should we take them out now?" he asked.

"Sure, today we'll glaze them," you said, getting up. "Let me help you. Later, we'll cut 100 grams each for modeling. We won't have much time, so let's make something small."

"Alright. How was the date?" he asked as you both entered the kiln room.

The ceramic kiln room was relatively large, with two kilns in one corner near the window. The walls were filled with shelves, mostly displaying your and Loui's pieces. On the floor, beneath the shelves, lay kilos of clay wrapped in plastic bags.

"I was thinking about it. I think it went well, but I'm not sure if I want to go out with him again," you admitted.

"That's a shame, but it happens. It took me some time to find my Juliet," he said, smiling.

"Romeo and Juliet killed each other, Loui. I've said before it's not a story to compare to," you said with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, y/n! Shakespeare portrayed such a beautiful and profound love that only death could separate them. To me, that's beautiful," he said. Loui was a literature enthusiast.

"Healthy relationships don't lead to death, Loui."

"It's just a story. I didn't know you didn't like Shakespeare," he said, taking the pieces out of one kiln while you did the same with the other.

"I do like it, but I don't appreciate the idealization of Romeo and Juliet," you shrugged. "I don't think people interpret it well either. I don't know."

"Maybe the problem is your interpretation, not others'," he said, and you fell silent, contemplating his words. Maybe he had a point?

As you took the pieces, you noticed Cillian's vase and smiled. Despite being a little lopsided and dented, it looked beautiful.

The sound of voices and people arriving in the studio started to fill the air. Glancing at your wristwatch, you realized the class was about to begin.

Carefully, you and Loui placed the pieces on the workbench.

"Today, we're going to glaze them. Choose your colors," you said to everyone present, then went to get the rest of the pieces.

Upon your return, you saw Cillian and Sile chatting and laughing together. He looked different today, dressed in a slightly more casual outfit than last week - a regular white shirt and loose, worn jeans.

You left the remaining pieces on the table and clapped your hands together to remove the dust.

"Well, after glazing, we'll take 100 grams of clay each for modeling. Today, no potter's wheel; we'll use our hands," you announced, drawing everyone's attention and a disappointed sigh from some.

You were busy for a while, fetching the colors the students requested, while Loui cut the clay into uniform pieces.

"What color do you think will look good?" Sile asked you, showing her vase. Cillian beside her.

You took a deep breath and pushed your hair away from your face. Your coiled hair had come loose from running around, now hanging loosely.

"Sile, you can do a lot of cool things with yours," you said after thinking. "You can glaze by immersion or use a brush, add some designs, like the flowers in your last piece. As for you, Cillian, I think since yours has a more organic feel, you can use the brush to create some organic shapes as well. The color choice is up to you both," you smiled.

"More organic," Sile laughed. "It actually turned out pretty good, huh? I thought Cillian's would be a disaster."

"I thought so too," he admitted, smiling. "But it's presentable."

"It's a beautiful piece. If you don't tell anyone, they won't know the dents weren't intentional," you smiled, and he smiled back. Your eyes locked for a long moment, sending shivers down your spine.

"I think I'll go with a terracotta color and white," Sile decided, taking your attention from her brother, and you nodded. "Choose yours, Cill,so she can get them for both of us."

"I have no idea," he laughed awkwardly, looking at his vase.

"I'll take the white immersion and terracotta brush for you Sile. You can add terracotta on top of the white glaze keeping the brush strikes. It will look nice," you suggested. You looked at Cillian. "And for you, maybe navy blue or moss green with white, doing the same technique as Sile."

"Whatever you say. I trust you," he laughed, and you nodded, smiling, and went to fetch the glazes for both of them.

You continued to guide the students through the glazing process, offering advice and suggestions. 

Cillian and Sile seemed to be having fun, exchanging playful banter as they dipped their brushes into the glaze. Cillian’s genuine smile and gentle interactions with others warmed your heart. Well, at least he’s proving not to be a spoiled Hollywood star.

You couldn’t help but notice how his eyes frequently darted in your direction, and you couldn’t help but to steal some glances at him too. 

Afterward, you all gathered around the kiln to load the glazed pieces carefully. Loui managed the kiln firing process, ensuring everything went smoothly.After that, you gave them a task to manually make a cup using a technique called pinching.

"This first step may seem similar, but we're going to create a hole in the middle of the clay and then gently pinch the walls of the cup, gradually thinning them. This will start shaping it like a cup. It won't be as flawless as the cups we make on the wheel, but depending on the finish, it might even turn out more beautiful," you explained, demonstrating the process using a piece of ceramic. "The imperfections can actually add character to the final piece."

As you moved around, you noticed that Cillian was deeply focused on his work, his brow furrowed in concentration. Sile, on the other hand, was chatting animatedly with the other students while she worked. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and the group around her laughed and shared stories as they molded their cups. She was like a social butterfly, different from her brother, who seemed a bit more private. 

"Y/n," Loui spoke, calling you to a corner to talk to you in private. "I need to go. I have that doctor's appointment I told you about."

"Ah, sure. You can go. See you on Monday," you smiled and bid him farewell with a hug.

At the end of the class, you made sure everyone signed the pieces they had made, so none would be lost.

After everyone started leaving, you realized how much an assistant was needed; the tidying process was taking much longer after classes. 

Cillian and Sile talked at the entrance of the studio. You glanced at them, to notice Cillian eyes on you. you gave him a soft smile and continued on cleaning the table they used. 

"You know, you have two options," Sile said to Cillian as she took off her apron and put it in her own bag.

"What are you talking about?" Cillian asked, confused, briefly diverting his attention from you.

"You can ask her out tonight. Or you can wait the whole week until next Saturday and then ask her out. It's up to you. It's inevitable, it's going to happen. Why procrastinate?" she asked, eliciting a smile from Cillian. "I'll be in the bathroom for about 5 minutes. Make up your mind."

Cillian watched his sister walk away to the restroom and debated whether he should follow her advice. After considering a few different options, he eventually gathered his courage and approached you.

"Hey, y/n," he greeted, scratching the back of his neck. You turned off the faucet where you were cleaning the tools used in the class and looked at him with a curious expression.

"Hey, do you have any questions?" you asked, trying to understand why he had come back.

"No, no questions. Actually, I know this might seem a bit unexpected, or maybe not. But I was wondering if you'd like to go grab a coffee or something?" he said.

You smiled. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yeah, I am," he replied, his nervousness evident in his gaze.

"I'm free tomorrow," you said, eliciting a wide relaxed smile from him.

"Perfect. I'll pick you up at 7," he said, taking his phone from his pocket to save your number. "Any food preferences?"

"Nope, maybe I should let you know that I'm a vegetarian," you mentioned, and he nodded.

"I'll find us a good place," he said, and you smiled, returning his phone with your number saved “I’ll text you” you nodded with a smile and watched him walk to his sister, who was standing by the door

“Not a word” he said as he reached her

“You asked her out?” She asked excitedly as they walked out of the studio. 

“Yes. Tell Orla or Páide and I’ll cancel it” he warned walking inside his car

“No you won’t” She frowned after she sat in the passenger seat. Cillian would be dropping her of at home

“Try me” he smiled 

“Fine, i won’t tell, IF you give me the details” she negotiated

“Ok, I can tell you a few things” he shrugged “Did you know she’s vegetarian?” 

“No… oh God, Pad is going to freak out” she noticed making Cill chuckle.

Want to get tagged? Click here

[ew-headyhearts]

i am so sorry for asking this but can we pls get some more nsfw headcanons?&2&1&/ AHHH SORRY

Okay, let me preface this by saying this, I wrote these head canons while extremely high and I've been sitting on these bad boys for a while now. Forgive me if they're a little incoherent but I figured this was the best ask to share them with. Please mind the tags. If you're uncomfortable with anything skip this one.

TW: N$FW Topics, Tord being fucking nasty, everyone just being nasty, sex toys, edging, just the tip, biting, praise, strap-ons, messy sex, questionable use of pillows, stealing clothes, using said clothes in questionable ways, VERY questionable fantasies, "onii-chan", again Tord's fucking nasty, Who needs that many dildos ever?, NO BETA READ (future Squid stopped by and made everything more coherent. You're welcome), EVEN THE TAGS AREN'T SAFE, Squid's a mess right now, Don't do drugs, unless it's legal for you like me

Edd

Chronic pillow humper. He has cum on the sheets multiple times. Don't worry, he cleans it all up very well. He just tosses that shit in the wash and passes right out afterward.

A huge fan of clothes on sex. Let that man dry hump you until he's busting in his khakis.

Service top. Much prefers giving. The guy gives great head and he knows it.

Praise kink, praise kink, praise kink. Did I mention the praise kink? Whether he's giving or receiving it, it doesn't matter. You're both getting called pretty no matter who's getting pounded into.

He talks so much during sex. It's either he's talking about how good you are or he's describing in massive detail every little thing hes doing to your body. It doesn't even get better when he's going down on you.

A massive tease. He can spend hours just fucking you with the tip. It makes it so much more enjoyable for him.

Loves edging so much, like one of his favorite things is edging you both together and see who gets so desperate that they are practically drooling and barely able to form a thought.

Did I mention guided masturbation? He loves seeing his partner get off while he whispers right in their ear how to do it. And trust me, he pays extra close attention he knows nearly all of your sweet spots and he's going to abuse that information.

Matt

Likes to use a vibrator against his cock.

He is a total voyeur and definitely makes a show out of you watching him tease himself.

Also produces a lot of precum it WILL get everywhere.

Much prefers bottoming. Stuff his holes, yes please.

His absolute favorite is to ride you/your strap and look up into a mirror on the ceiling (becausd of course he has one). Then he can look at both of your pretty faces.

He's a total biter, the vampire episode just awakened it in him.

Pin him to the wall; it doesn't matter if you're way shorter than him. He will quite literally drop to his knees in front of you if you do so.

The few times he does top he's still so submissive. Seeks out praise so much.

The ONLY way to get him to take a dominant role is to bruise his ego, which takes quite a bit of effort.

Tom

Has one of those clear pocket pussies. No idea how else to describe it. It's clear and you can see his weenie through it.

He likes to masturbate in the shower. He says it makes clean-up quicker, but in reality, it's just because the water usually drowns out his moans.

Also a fan of fantasy toys, though he's mostly interested in having those absurd dildos. Too big for any sane person to use bc he's a size king and he loves the stretch. Has more than enough dildos that it's considered illegal in Texas.

Tom's a growler and does enjoy the occasional primal play.

Masturbates in the hoodie and would not complain if you did too.

Mutual masturbation, he is so weak for it. He'd probably use a double ended dildo just for funsies. It's a bonding experience.

Chaotic switch. Does not care who is getting stuffed. In fact, he really loves it if his partner would switch mid-sex. He's much more pliant if you do so.

He loves bondage on his partner but does not allow himself to be tied up. It's a trigger for him and that's not going to be fun for anyone.

Also, a drooler as he gets closer to cumming. It doesn't matter if he's topping or bottoming, there will be drool, and it will be messy.

Tord

Has a "just the tip" fantasy. He thinks he's improved every time, but, like- it takes 3 minutes of him just thrusting the head in before he's going absolutely rabid, wanting to fuck you deeper. He likes edging himself using his partner's hole.

Does not want to stop until either one of you is so overstimulated and fuckdrunk.

Will steal your underwear. He's fucking NASTY and uses it to jerk it. He might just wash them before returning them. Emphasis on might: he's nasty and probably gets off to the fact that he's come in your clothing multiple times.

I feel like he would have a fantasy where you call him "onni-chan"

Will buy you sex toys, but most of the time they're just tentacles. If you let him though, he'd love to make you one of his own. Don't give him that power. He'll make a secret remote to use anytime he's bored.

Will nut the second you come out in cosplay, or just dress up vaguely like one of those anime girls. It doesn't matter your gender; he goes nuts for miniskirts and thigh highs.

Secretly into being dominated. Put him in his place. Please? He wants it so bad but he won't admit it.

[orionsangel86]

About the twinklify the twink? That's why I don't go full Dreamling. I have nothing against it, but they way they get twisted 90% of the times is just "uhh that not my Dream" for me. And same with all the Dark Morpheus x f/m reader. "That's not my Morpheus" and it's ok, because a) fanfiction keeps the media alive until the next piece we can get and b) fanfiction keeps people alive too, no matter what they picture. So, it's ok to feel like this, I guess.

I think that's the main takeaway from this. YKINMK after all. I'm a firm believer of "do what you want always" though of course, that doesn't mean you should be free from criticism, it just means maybe don't take criticism to heart ya know? This doesn't mean people should go onto others posts and fanfics and complain! God no! But people should be allowed to complain in their own posts - so long as anything particularly harsh isn't put in the main tags or is tagged accordingly. Like of course people aren't always gonna love everything you do, and sometimes when certain headcanons and ideas get bastardised by fanon echo chambers they become so far removed from canon that you are basically writing an OC with your fave characters face, but that's okay if it brings you joy. Just don't expect everyone to love and adore it ya know?

The problem I have with the extra twinkification of characters in ship dynamics is that I have a problem with m/m ships being twisted so far away from their canon counterparts that one party becomes obviously "feminine" and the other obviously "masculine". By which I mean one character is made extra skinny frail and delicate, submissive, virginal, pure, and always ALWAYS the bottom. The other character becomes huge and muscular and hairy and masculine, and take the role of protector and dominating and experienced and is ALWAYS the top.

Do you see what I mean? This has been prevailent in fandom culture since day 1 of course, and its a huge pet peeve of mine. I do view it as somewhat problematic because it feels like trying to fit a mlm ship into a heternormative box. Its a layered mess of misogyny and homophobia wrapped up in a fandom bow. It was worse years ago, during the SuperWhoLock days, and I will forever be grateful to Misha Collins for beefing up so much he enabled Cas to beat the effeminate twink allegations (knowing Mollins he probably came across a particularly bad fanfic or fanart and then spent several hours staring at himself in a mirror before throwing himself into an intensive gym routine).

I don't think its too prevailent in Dreamling fics, though I guess when you have a whole episode devoted to showing how Dream is pale, thin, beautiful, ethereal, completely hairless, and trapped, its easy to see why fandoms minds went to "twink" and then to "we need to find him a saviour". But I do wish the power dynamic would be a bit more balanced. Dream is no wilting flower. He is all pure lean muscle. He is no frail delicate thing. He has the body of a long distance marathon runner. He is power and self righteousness and fury and control. Yeah, he may be submissive with his lovers, but he's hardly inexperienced.

Hob is also in no way a macho man. He's hairy sure, but that's basically it. He actually isn't all that more muscular than Dream, he's only slightly broader, and he's not taller - I think they are the same height? Again, to stress, people can do what they want always. But please do take time to branch outside of the fandom echo chambers and refamiliarise yourself with canon once in a while. Especially when those echo chambers are leaning towards problematic dynamics like those mentioned above.

This is by no means a dig at any individuals, at any creative works I have come across or anything else of the sort. I just sometimes find the fanon echo chambers and widely accepted headcanons a bit irritating, especially when they don't fit with canon. It's fine on a small scale. I am not the person who is gonna comment "he would not fucking say that" because its mean and those posts are mean. It's when the whole fandom seems to adopt certain ideas, and suddenly any deviation from those ideas seems wrong to fandom at large. It becomes difficult to counter those ideas without suddenly being labelled a hater. Look at all the ridiculous discourse in Good Omens fandom because of how deeply far removed from the original source material the fandom took the characters over the 4 year gap between seasons? They were literally going into Neil Gaimans inbox complaining when season 2 deviated from widely accepted fanon headcanons! To the point that Neil had to clarify that what they were complaining about was never canon to begin with!!

Anyway, this post is probably controversial enough without me prattling on any further. Let me stress one last time that you can do what you want always, and everyone should be able to play in the sandbox however they want - just please check yourselves and your prejudices and do consider if the tropes you are encouraging have any harmful implications before throwing yourself into them.

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppet Madness: The Muppet Valentine's Show and Muppets: Sex and Violence (Comission for Emma Fici)

Happy almost valentine's day all you happy muppets! Yes we've got a whole lotta love going into this week's reviews and it was weird not to include my faviorite troupe.. and once I found out the first pilot was valentine's theme, I asked to cover it this month and asked emma if she'd be intrested in using her patreon review to cover the other seemingly fitting pilot, Mupppets Sex and Violence So here we are: Jim had WANTED to do a muppet show since before even Seasame Street, but had hit roadblocks trying to get it out due to executives having the same low view of puppets as they presently do of animation, assumign i'ts only for kids and has no merits. And while my thoughts on that line of thinking are pretty clear

It didn't make it easier for Jim. It's why it took two pilots to even get to series and why I likely coudln't find a ton of background on either pilot. The most I got is the first was so succesful that they ordered a second special, and that lead to Lew Grade's series order and one of the greatest tv shows of all time.

I"m always curious about the early origins of something and just coming off covering the Wilkins Ads last week I went into this one with high expectations.. were they reached? Find out under the cut

The Muppet Valentine's Show:

I was shocked to find with these pilots that Jim Henson of all people had growing pains, especially at this stage in his career. It's reassuring, as it reminds me EVERY creator takes a while to get going, I know i did, but it's still weird to see something that's ALMOST the muppet show but feels just enough off to feel weird watching. The format is the show nailed down: a wraparound bit with a bunch of sketches and the majority of the sketches are fantastic: We get a great Kermit number with him singign froggy went a courtin to "miss mousY" and fighting her other suitor, a spectacular giant rat puppet, before both end up going to get beers since Miss Mousy runs off with some other dude. IT's a fun bit and one that would fit perfectly into the muppet show proper… and likely only didn't because while Miss Mousy showed up ocne she had to quitely retire aka run the fuck away from miss piggy if she valued her life.

We also get one starring my man thoggg! This.. this is Thogg

I forget his name often but always light up when I see him and it was wonderful seeing him get a bit focused on him, something i'm not sure Muppet Show proper ever did and Mia Farrow is wonderful as his partner. It's a shockingly romantic bit and nicely swee tfor the holiday.

Finally out of the bits I really liked we had a visit on Koozebane as kermit reports on two aliens doing the Galley-o-hoop-hoop, which involves coldiing into each other and exploding

Which is easily the highlight. I'ts not bad and worth a watch.. but what makes it often a slog is the wraparound which is a mess with the cast consiting of Wallay, George, Mildren and Brewster

Yeah none of these characters lasted.. George was the janitor for season 1 befor ebeing replaced, and Mildred and Brewster would have cameos but while Mildred has some personality, she sadly didn't stick around and the rest THANKFULLY didn't. Paticularlly wally who comes off very

Comared to the actually 70's and awesome electric mayhem. I think Jim quickly realized too cool for school just didn't remotely fit him , and those kinds of characters were better as punchilnes. it also has a script is being written as the episode happens gimmick which isn't terrrible but ultimately just dosen't fit the muppets zany stylings. The Muppets Valentine's show is.. fine and worth a watch if you like Muppets History, but not hugely recomendable as a whole. I would WHOLE HEARTDLY recommend the segements I mentioned though> All are worth a look.. their just not worth sitting through a bunch of characters who just didn't work at all to get there.

The Muppet Show Sex and Violence:

Are you ready for some SEX AND VIOLENCEEEEEEEE? Well too bad because the title's more a joke, as you likely expected. It's also still not qutie there yet and a bit of a harder watch than the valentine's day show. The core is better and the sketeches are good.. but it has one thing holding it back from feeling "like the muppet show but just a tad off": for some reason the sketches are all cut up and thus some like at the dance, a great wrestling bit and mor ehave their timing boggled by taking place throughout the show. It can be disoreninting to watch at times and Jim smartley went back to doing them one at a time and the better sketches don't do this at all.

That said while the presentation is boggled, there are a LOT of great ones: presidents trading banter as mount rushmore, at the dance, a hilariously tangly wrestling match, and the debtu sof the swedish chef, electric mayhem and statler and woldorf who are great as always.My tie for faviorites are return to beneath the planet of the pigs, which would later evolve into PIIIIGGGSSS INNNNNNN SPACCCCCEEEEEE, but here is a hilarious planet of the apes sendup, and theater of thigns where the pencils get a new ruler. It's a corny pun but I absoltuely love it. The sketches are all fantastic aside form birds and the bees which is just a bit of birds singing.. ti's just about half get cut up in a way that just wrecks the pacing. The muppet show sketches work so best because even the songs have a nice, fast pace for them, and thus unless a it is designed to be recurring, it dosen't work that way. Jim learned his lesson but it sadly mucks up some really great comedy.

The wraparound is better as it is cut up on purpose and is basically just host nigel, floyd and my boy sam the eagle meeting the seven deadly sins, all various great muppets. Ti's for a pagent that gets cut off by the credits, but ti's a bit that works for me.

What dosen't.. is Nigel himself who I frequently forget exists because he has no real personality. I mean.. Wally was hilariously tonedeaf, but he at least had a personality and cool dude shades> nigel is just there and thankfully this finally got jim to realize Kermit was the missing piece.

So Sex and Violence is both more and less like the muppet show.. but it was close enough. The pilots aren't great and I once again recommend the skits more than the whole.. but I will say they help illustrate why the muppet show is so special: it's all teh various parts coming together and when you see it with the core quartet mostly missing, no real center character wise.. you see WHY their so special. With just a few pieces their fine but it's as a whole they truly shine. Without Kermit's steady hand, Piggy's overdramatics, Fozzy's bad jokes or Gonzo's delightful weirdness, the show just isn't the same. You can have the muppets without these guys, as we'll hopefully see with Mayhem, they can do thier own things and sketches, but without them at the center of the madness it just dosen't feel the same. All the supporting cast was there but the heart of the muppets hadn't developed yet. And once it did we'd get something truly amazing. For now we just get some specials I honestly struggled to talk about for the last few days as ther'es not a ton to say other than "these just arne't great yet". But I appricate them for reminding me why me and emma do this and why the muppets matter. Their not just a bunch of sketches: their this weird family doing these sketches and you need that vibe for it to work. So how do I rank em? well let's see

Yeah it's.. sadly low. Valentine's mildly edges out Haunted Mansion, as it's three skits are enough to make it slightly better in my eyes, but sex and violence is so far the lowest ranked thing that's not a crime against nature as the choppy formatting just makes it hard to watch.

Next Month: FOLLOW THAT BIRD. FOR REAL THIS TIME. COME HELL OR HIGH FUCKING WATER PERSONAL ISSUES BE DAMMNED. We're actually doing this so I can finally get this giant childlike bird off my back. SEASAME STREET. NEXT MONTH.

[becauseimanicequeen]

Pride Month Watch: The Warp Effect (ep 1-4)

I've put this off for far too long. It's about damn time to watch The Warp Effect. And what better time to do it than during Pride Month?

I'm going into this knowing very little about the show. I know which actors are in it, I know that New's character ends up in the future after some shit happens, and I know it's a Jojo show. That's about it.

Let's dive in!

I'm only 15 minutes into this show and Fluke's character is my favorite. Can't remember his name, but he's my favorite.

Oh, his name is Army.

Don't know why I have to fall for the bully, but here we are... (Same old story when it comes to me and fictional characters, lol.)

Look at this intelligent, serious, amazing woman...

Then Alex cuts in with his inner monologue when she's laying out some facts and being serious...

Dude, are you even listening? Hate to break it to you, but if you're into women, periods are your business too.

Ice is such a little shit for constantly throwing his brother under the bus.

I LOVE HIM!

Oh, lord. Silvy (Mollie) is out to kill me.

But I don't mind. I don't mind. AT. ALL.

This scene...

Dude, a dick alone isn't always enough. I hate to break it to you, but your dick is not magical. Just saying.

Seriously...

She never said she hates men. She said women can have orgasms without dicks. That's a fact. Interpreting that as hate against men is your problem.

Hating men has nothing to do with one's sexuality.

Now, get out of the fucking way so she can go hook up with Alex (who happens to be a dude, btw). Because I'm pretty sure this is about to happen. And that's how much she hates men...

Wait, Army's a doc in the future? Oh, lord...

Why is he so fine?

As a former metalhead...

The Slipknot and Metallica posters sent me down memory lane. Is this a Jojo thing? Rock bands were also a feature in Only Friends (and he was a screenwriter and director for both).

I didn’t expect this…

But it also makes sense, in a way. (So this is the predecessor to the dog mask in Playboyy?)

This man…

I love him so much.

Hi Pepzi!

Irl director of KinnPorsche and My Stand-In.

I love Jean…

With my entire heart!

I didn’t think I could love her more, but look at her place…

There’s art everywhere. As a visual artist myself, I have a huge soft spot for people who love art. Yes, I’m biased like that.

But I also love Army…

And all his shenanigans. I’m biased like this too, lol.

See…

Women don’t need dicks to feel pleasure.

The way Army looks at Joe…

Makes me love him so much more. The things his gaze made me feel were illegal. (It also makes me even more excited for Your Dear Daddy. Give it to me! Right now!)

Relatable…

I love how real this show feels (tackling subjects like real menstruation issues, showing that safe sex is important, being sex-positive, and everything being messy just like real life is/can be, etc.) and having good representation (different sexualities, and now we have a non-binary character in Mollie, whom I absolutely love). I’m only four episodes into the show and I’m invested. Give me more.

Kim’s reaction to this conversation is so me…

Considering peeps with vaginas can have a great time and orgasm using only fingers, it doesn’t matter how big your dick is honey. Just saying.

All it took was a brief meeting with Joe and Army is gone…

Right down memory lane...

Good for him. Good for us.

Oh, my man is totally gone…

He wants Joe and I want him to want Joe.

And Joe... He's lost in the sauce…

In a locker room… At his workplace… These men… lmao.

Btw, why do I get the feeling that Army outed Joe in the past? And that's why Joe was so hostile at first. Could be wrong about this, though...

I’m loving this series so far. I love the mess, the chaos, the diverse characters, Mollie, the women, Army and Joe, the women, Ice being an ice-cold bitch to his brother, and did I mention the women?

I want to see more, so it's time to dive into the next episode.

[lordoftheshrooms]

0:01:09 damn, this bitch finna die

0:02:00 Damn, bros a pussy can't even handle a chair scraping the floor

0:02:14 OOOH GET HIS ASS FOXY

0:02:43 WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SAW BLADES IN THAT FUCKER!?

0:04:04 cannon missing kids appearances?

0:05:28 THATS JUST A THEORY A DREAM THEORY

0:05:51 damn more missing kids oop neva mind

0:07:42 getting minor second hand embarrassment in fear that that's actually the dude's kid and he's not kidnapping him

0:07:52 is this bitch having an episode??

0:08:39 okay bitch was having an episode

0:11:27 damn bro bout to lose his house

0:12:35 when are we getting to the murder robos?

0:13:56 does Nebraska actually look like that?

0:14:36 Garrett? Is this Crying Child or is Mike not Michael Afton?

0:14:59 OH THAT KID IS GOOOONE KIDNAPPED AND GOOONE

0:15:59 Abby sounds like your standard child, she isn't torturing animals or children so I'd say she's fine

0:16:22 dude don't wanna be here, stfu Jane

0:17:30 can we see the robots yet??? I know this is emotional but I need my murder bots

0:18:31 I do not trust this "Steve" guy

0:19:10 calling it, Steve is a serial killer or psychotic

0:19:25 is this bitch William??

0:20:44 robo time? Also the dog has joined along with chocolate croissants

0:21:10 FNAF WORLD REFERENCE!? IN MY FNAF MOVIE?!

0:22:11 is she being held at gunpoint???

0:22:20 no it's child murder, someone didn't play the games 🙄

0:23:25 haha! Balloon boy ain't scary dumbass

0:24:00 what location is this??

0:24:42 don't say hello to creepy noises in the dark idiot

0:25:09 WHY IS HE BLUE?? HES INDIGO PURPLE WTF

0:26:22 ah the creepy dead kids are here now

0:28:25 MATTRIC PATHEW!? AS A WAITER? FOOD THEORY REFERENCE!?

0:29:05 damn, she really trying to get info, poor poor lawyer man

0:32:44 death, they saw death

0:34:02 VANNESA!?

0:36:11 ma'am I think that's just anxiety

0:41:42 CREEPY ASS CUPCAKE

0:42:00 damn carl ate Carl

0:43:59 ITS IN THE WALLS(vents) ITS IN THE GODDAMN WALLS

0:44:55 FOXY MY MANS!!! MY FAVORITE OVER THE YEARS IS HERE FOR MURDER!!! 💕💕✨✨💕💕

0:45:32 don't follow kids around abandoned buildings ma'am

0:46:13 whose messed up dog is that? It sure as hell isn't from the games???

0:47:01 DAMN THE BITE OF 23!! THAT BITCH GOT SWALLOWED

0:48:23 I WANT VIOLENCE NOT FAMILY DRAMA IF I WANTED DRAMA I'D CALL SOME FUCKERS UP

0:49:13 WHY WOULD GE BE ARRESTED ABS?

0:50:58 wild guess, I'm gonna say it was William

0:52:58 THEM FISH GONNA BE SLEEEEPING HOLY HELL YOUR A COP!? DON'T THROW DRUGS INTO THE RIVER MA'AM!?

0:53:16 oh hon half her corpse got eaten by a ghost child.... Stop calling and just take the little ghost seeing girl with you

0:59:07 BROS ABOUT TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM ABBY

1:00:52 WHAT WAS THAT GLARE FOR FREDDY!?

1:01:37 yep little girl can definitely see ghosts, and Mike to apparently maybe it's genetics that they don't get murdered by them

1:06:39 VANESSA BE RESPONSIBLE PLEASE

1:08:03 that doll is defo a book reference

1:09:38 ya cause your father(?) Killed em

1:09:45 I wanna know the same thing Mike....

1:10:23 DAMN THEY CONTROL SHOCKED HER ASS

We an hour and eleven minutes in when the Hell is springtrap/Afton being brought up?

1:12:33 oh God cigarette lady is gonna get custody of the kid...

1:13:59 damn bro you couldn't have let the guy finish?

1:16:20 damn these shit stains are evil

1:19:47 YAY FOXY IS BACK WITH THE HORROR 💕✨💕✨💕

1:21:43 DAMN THATS A HUGE BITCH

1:23:41 wait is that golden Freddy? I think I might be blind...

1:25:05 AIN'T Maintenance GOTTA POP EM OPEN VANASSESA!?

1:26:15 FINALLY AN AFTON MENTION!! Ohhhhh Vanessa's dad

1:26:35 I WAS RIGHT AFTON SNAGGED GARRETT

1:28:29 high stakes heist time?

1:29:10 stealth mission!

1:29:52 god this feels like the FNAF VHS tapes.... Not the game ones the ones made on I think YouTube

1:31:48 awwww Carl got hungy ☺️☺️☺️

1:32:07 WHY IS THE FOX HIGH?

1:33:18 I swear to God if that is a time traveling ball pit someone will die by my hand

1:33:43 oh shit springtrap but not green and rotten

1:34:43 hiii again Vanny, Daddy came to visit you too

1:35:42 damn, ghostface knife whip, not even original come on WILLIAM

1:36:02 Steve you ratassed bitch, fuckin called it you are a serial killer

1:36:36 WELL SHE FUCKIN DID WILLY BOY

1:38:23 DAMN ho, you got beat by a shitty elementary drawing?

1:39:10 SPRINGLOCK SPRINGLOCK SPRINGLOCK

1:40:28 oh God they're high again, bad SPRINGLOCK he should have been screaming in agony

1:41:18 yeah if you stop talking to murderous ghosts that usually happens

1:44:00 ya know what sobbing in pain is an upgrade

1:44:27 I LOVE THIS SONG FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAH

1:45:20 what did taxi guy do?

This is gonna be where I list my live reaction to the FNAF movie w/ time stamps so spoilers ahead!!

Adding the read more line now so it's not super hard later

[mangosdoodles-moved]

what do you mean this isn’t canon smh..

((Had to reupload it as an actual video and not a gif, so don’t be scared if you don’t hear any sound alkjgslkgjk))

It all started as a joke, then @littlestlostsheep made it a reality by writing it down, then I made this edit aLJGSLJGSJGS

[frankcastleonlyfans]

part three of dad!daemon headcanon pleaseeee🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄, 𝐏𝐓𝟑:

pairing: dad!daemon targaryen x mom!reader

author's note: last episode, aemond beat the shit out of baela and rhaena, and daemon didn't gave a single shit about his daughters being blooded and bruised. i thought i should rewrite that, specially because the day aemond lost his eye is a thing in our dad!daemon au. also, i'll make aemond a little bit ooc because he needs to be an asshole, AND, I changed the way aemond loses his eye.

reblogs, feedbacks and likes are appreciated. i hope you like it!

warnings: mentions of animal cruelty, descriptions of children getting harmed, aemond is his own warning, children cussing, this headcanon is pure chaos so be prepared.

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ୨♡୧ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

this takes places months before part 1.

Daemon hated Aemond.

At first you thought it was funny that a grown ass man had such hatred towards a little boy, but then, you saw it with your own eyes.

You and Daemon once watched the kids' dragon training lessons, and you noticed how Aemond's eyes squinted once your son commanded Araxes to dracarys.

So it started there. Your son had his own dragon — and so did your daughter — , and prince Aemond had none.

Daemon would always complain to you how Aemond was picking on Rhaegon during sword fighting training.

"He should be more violent, I don't want Rhaegon to let that prick hurt him."

"Now, you're the one who's picking battles with Alicent." You warned.

Aemond never liked the fact that Alyssa could watch their fighting training. She was a girl, and wasn't supposed to be there.

He couldn't hurt Rhaegon outside the training camp, so he discovered that it was easier to mess with the Targaryen girl.

When Alyssa found her pet cat beheaded under her covers on her blood stained bed, she left her shared room crying, not even answering to Helaena's questions.

She went to the boys’ chambers, where she found her brothers, and Jacaerys and Lucerys sleeping.

Alyssa woke them up and went downstairs to find their parents, hoping they could do something to punish Aemond for his actions. But unfortunately, they found the boy first.

"Cousin Alyssa! I see you’re crying... What's wrong? Didn't like my present?"

Alyssa ran to punch him in the face, but he punched her first.

It started a huge fight, where Rhaegon, Luke, Jace and Alyssa were against Aemond.

Aemond threatened to kill Luke and Alyssa, and Jace tried to stab him with a knife.

Aemond was the most gifted in body combat, so he quickly dodged the Velaryon boy's attack, and kicked him away.

Luke threw sand in Aemond's eyes while he held Rhaegon by the neck, and Jace threw Alyssa the knife.

"Take your fucking hand out of my brother!"

Alyssa wasted no time to cut Aemond's eye.

Aemond fell to the ground screaming, but it was too late when the guards finally came to his rescue.

"What's the meaning of this!?" Daemon stormed into the throne room where everyone was reunited.

"Alyssa! Rhaegon!" You cried out, taking your beated children in your arms.

"What did you do to them, you freak!?" Daemon hissed towards the sewed-eyed boy.

"You're seeing this, Viserys!?" Alicent yelled, "Where do you think your brother's children learned to bully our son?"

"His own brother bullies him!" Rhaegon pointed out.

Aegon was just as unbearable as his brother, but at least he wasted his time drinking instead of making your children's life a living hell.

"Aemond killed Alyssa's cat and punched her in the face!" Lucerys told his uncle, and Daemon groaned in anger.

"That bitch cut my eye!" Aemond uttered.

"You were suffocating my brother!" Alyssa remarked.

"That is enough!" King Viserys yelled, "I want you all to make up and forget this all happened."

"That is insufficient. Aemond has been damaged permanently, my king." Alicent stated.

"I know, Alicent, but I cannot restore his eye. What would you have me do?"

"There is a debt to be paid. I shall have one of Daemon's daughter eyes in return. Ser Criston, bring me the eye of Alyssa Targaryen."

Your eyes opened wide in horror as your daughter ran out of your embrace to hide herself behind Daemon.

"You will do no such thing!" You warned the queen.

Ser Criston stayed in his position while Viserys warned, again, that the matter was finished.

Alicent took the dagger that the king carried around, and came towards the girl, that was still being protected by her father's body.

Daemon acted quickly and unsheathed Dark Sister, pointing the blade to the Queen. All the guards took off their swords.

"Father!" Alyssa cried out.

"Give one more step and both of us will die." Daemon warned, "I'll cut your throat open like a piece of ham, and the King shall have my head. I don't mind dying for my family, your Grace."

Alicent threw the dagger to the floor and left.

Daemon gave you an apologizing look after putting himself in such danger.

You both took care of your children’s wounds, and find out that Maegon stayed in his room after Rhaegon ordered him to.

You took the boys to their room with Rhaenyra and her kids, while Daemon took Alyssa to hers.

"You acted bravely tonight." Daemon whispered against your little girl's silver locks, and gave her forehead a kiss, "I'm proud of you, my little stormfire."

[pierofilm]

|ROUTE 1: Heeseung|A Story That Starts With a Text

📃summary: when you installed a dating app to just mess around with random people, not knowing that you were turning your peaceful life into a bloody one the moment you sent that text.

🥀genre: yandere, angst, fluff

🥀warning: cursing, kleptomaniac! reader, alcohol, suggestive content, future non-con w a minor involved! (only in one ep, 18+ only mdni! — this is only for entertainment, I don’t condone this behaviour), in this ep — mentions of suicide and self harming, cuts and bruises, drugs, blood.

🥀pairing: heeseung x fem!reader

🥀word count: 15.8k

🖋️a/n: EP 7 finally done! I'll be quite busy with my studies from now on, so the update for EP 8 would be slower than EP 7 so I hope you'll all be patient, and thank you for reading my story! As always reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, they're the greatest motivation for writers ^^

EDIT: please stop spam liking, it gets me shadowbanned. Seriously read the rules, properly abide by it. If you keep ignoring it, it means you don't care any less of what happens to my blog then I have no choice but to do the same, by blocking you. Please understand.

.

.

.

| EPISODE 7 : FOOLS |

.

.

.

And here you are once again, grounded. Mind completely breaking down over the many things that happened today, ruffling your hair between your fists; you were completely dumbfounded. Another day had passed, then a few days, it had felt like an eternity as you lay on the floor.

You opened your eyes as the sunlight poured through the window laying itself on your face. You sat up, you won’t believe this. You’ll have to do something. You won’t believe that everything was fake, that everything was just a hallucination.

You refuse to believe it.

Chaeryeong, yes Chaeryeong. She’s the only one that would prove to you that you weren’t hallucinating. Someone is fooling you, and you know that. There’s no way everything was just a hallucination. Someone was playing a fucking game on you, you don’t know who but you’ll eventually find out.

Next day eventually comes, and you open your window slightly and jump through it. You wince in pain when you get hurt a bit in the process, but you won’t turn back when there’s only one answer left.

You go through many places you and Chaeryeong had spent time together, from the hiding spot to the nearest cafe in the city. With harsh breathing and beads of sweat forming on your forehead because of the scorching sunlight

It went on for hours and hours, and you felt a sudden rush of wave to just give up but you ain't gonna do that when your own best friend was going missing and no one, and by that not even a single person in this whole city was looking for her, not even her own family. If you gave up on her, then who would? And the fact she was the only answer left to all your questions.

Clenching your fists, you took in a new sense of determination to continue looking for her. Opting to go along the streets where it leads to her house once again, you're going to ask her parents again. Knocking hastily on the door was met with no response, it goes on for a while that it seems there was no one in the house. Putting your hands on your knees to take a quick long and deep breath with your eyes on the ground, the door in front of you finally opens.

But the sight made your jaw drop.

"Ch-chaeryeong?"

"Oh. (Name)."

You were hit with a huge relief passing through all your veins and without much thought, you throw yourself on her, embracing her with a tight hug. "You're safe! I'm glad! I'm really glad!

Tears was threatening to come out of your eyes but you pay no attention to it when your bestfriend was clearly here, all safe and well in front of you.

"S-safe? Wh–"

"Are you hurt anywhere? Huh?" You pulled her arm, inspecting any wounds or anything you could find. "What happen!?"

"(Name)! What are you saying?" Chaeryeong chuckles, pulling out from your grasp.

"God. I'm glad you don't even have an ounce of scratch in your skin-" you bend over, and anything inspecting her skin. "Or I swear I'm gonna kill whoever-"

"Oh my god, (name) what's wrong-"

"Huh! Speaking of that, what happened!?"

"What? What happened??"

"Yea! You got kidnapped right!? Who was it??"

"wait what? Slow down- what are you talking about? Kidnap? Jesus Christ."

"What are you saying? You called me right? The other day!" You exclaimed.

"Holy crap, (Name). Didnt I always call you?-"

"No!! You called me! On weekends. You called me for help!"

"Why would I call you for help, goddamnit. Jesus, what did you ate."

"What are you saying!? (name)?"

—

Drifting along the street, and the world seems to go on their way while you were too deep in thought. Completely baffled and dumbfounded over all of the things had happened. Were you dreaming? You let out a dry laugh, was everything just really a hallucination?

Your mind goes back to the time you talked to Chaeryeong again, as you tried to make sense of it.

"But it was you.. it was clearly you.." you said in a low voice.

"Jesus Christ! (Name). Did a ghost haunt you? Okay, okay. Tell me when did I call you and what did I tell you."

"You called for me in the middle of the night, on weekends!! Your voice was sore and l-like you were in p-pain!--" raising both your hands in a manner to try to get your words out, as your best friend listens to you with confusion written on her face. "you were asking for my help and then all of a sudden you cut off the line, as if someone had pulled you or I don't know caught you-"

"Wow, that's a hella detailed story there- you can be a writer." Your best friend jokes but stops when she sees your serious face. "Okay, alright alright, my bad."

"What were you doing when I supposedly called you that night?" she asked, and then the memories of you and your sister fighting came through.

Shaking your head, "it was just after the party-"

"The party!? You're partying?!" She suddenly exclaimed, raising her voice clearly surprised by what you said.

"I followed my sister! Okay?" You defended yourself.

"Oh okay okay." letting out a heavy sigh, your best friend looks up in the air trying to make sense of something. "I don't know if I can say this though.."

"Just say it."

"But even if it was, it couldn't have been that detailed.." your bestfriend smiles awkwardly.

"Just what, just say it."

"Drugs."

"What?" Your eyes widened. "Are you saying!?"

"Okay look! I'm not saying that. But- like I said it might not seem like it, but it's the closest thing I could think of (name)." Your best friend reasoned with you, giving you a concerned look.

—

Still incredibly shocked over what happened. You really had no idea how you can hallucinate such clear and detailed events. You couldn’t be taking drugs!? Chaeryeong’s call, Heeseung’s text, the car accident, and then Chaeryeong herself admitted to having never called you. What’s the actual fuck was happening to you!?

'Am I going insane?' you put your head on your hands as you groaned.

“(NAME!)” the loud angry voice of your father snapped you out of your deep thoughts.

“Shit.” you cursed in a low voice, you were too deep in thought that you didn't realize you were walking back straight to home. Having broken the grounded rules, you know what waits for you is no easy feat. Fixing your hair slightly and regaining your composure, you observe as your mom follows behind your father with an immense concern expression on her face.

“Where have you been!?”

“I’m sorry..” was the only thing you could let out after everything that had happened.

“Why did you do that!?”

“You broke the rules, goddamnit!”

“Go inside! We’re going to talk about this.”

“And, you’re done. I can’t really believe you, (Name).”

Confused, you look up to your mom. “What are you saying?”

“Get inside!”

“Okay i'm going!”

“Okay i get it you’re mad that i broke the rules! But can you listen to my explanation first!? I went to Chaeryeong’s-”

“That is one thing! (Name). But you stole our stuff! The paper and everything!”

“W-what?”

—

All the stuff that your parents had been looking for all this time was laid on the top of the table, scattered with a piece of plastic.

“You see all this shit!? You stole all of this!”

“You promise to us you won’t do it again! (Name). I thought you knew better already!”

“I didnt. I swear mom! Dad!”

“We found it in your room. Inside a plastic bag!”

You felt incredibly helpless at this point. The world in your view began to shatter and everything seems to get lost in void, with your parents screaming and blaming you. Heavy eyes and rough breathing, you couldn’t even cry anymore, you wanted to but you can’t. You’re getting tired. Tired. Everything is fucking tiring.

“No! You’re bullshitting me! I didn’t steal that, I swear! Please trust me!”

Their angry expressions and loud voice irritates you more than it should. It shouldn’t have been that annoying but for some reason, you want to bang your head on the wall and scream at them but you hold on for a little more.

Then you notice your dad pulling out his phone amidst your heavy crying, “Ms. Koo, is it possible if we can bring her now? Ah. yes. Yes.”

“Dad, what are you doing?” Your mouth trembles as you walk over to your dad trying to get the phone away from him.

“You’re meeting Ms. Koo-”

“I don’t want to meet her! What the fuck is wrong with all of you!??”

“Language (name)! Don’t raise your voice over your mom!”

“No! No! Why are you all doing this to me!? Fucking piece of shit!” you saw red. At last, you felt an immense betrayal, anger, and sadness rushing all over your being all mixed together with the throbbing headache, suffocation in your lungs to the point you wanted to vomit. Grabbing the nearest stuff on the table and throwing it on the ground smashing its contents,

“(NAME)!!!” you heard your parent’s angry protests for you to stop, but you wanted nothing but to express your anger and everything you bottled up inside. Smashing every bit of them.

Everything is so fucking tiring. You are tired. Gritting your teeth and clenching your jaw, you wanted to express how angry you were. How mad and how hurt you felt.

“Why! Of all people! I stole, yes! I stole from others! But never did I steal from our family! Maybe I did to Unnie! But that was because! Because! Because!!!” you screamed, smashing another vase. This wasn’t you. The composed and calm you. That thought immediately passed through you, which made you immediately halt your hands from smashing another vase.

What’s wrong with you?

Within a split moment, you felt a huge smash on your head making you fall on the ground, making you pass out.

—

Your eyes fluttered open slowly only to be met with the white ceiling, your heartbeat immediately quickens because the scene was all too familiar with you. You knew where you are. Your body wants to move but you felt so weak, you moved your head slightly and you saw an old woman in, a nurse, with a syringe filled with blood and you observed as she placed it among other syringes. Your breath hitched as you caught on, she must’ve drawn blood from you, you immediately tried to see which arm she took from and you breathed in relief as it was from your right arm. They couldn’t have seen it right?

“You’re awake.” an old lady went in and usher the nurse to continue with her job. You scoffed, you knew her, your same old therapist since you were a child.

The private therapist your family had assigned for you when they found out you had kleptomaniac, she was the one that reported to your family whenever you did something, from the smallest to the biggest ones, she did it. However she once promised you that you will one day be cured from your condition and that she will help you through all of it, never gonna leave your side no matter what happens.

No matter what happens.

You trusted her. But one day, she had brought you with her for a walk to the town, to give you candies and make your day. She excused herself for the restroom, and you find yourself lost in the crowd. As a child, you weren’t aware so when you can't help but do it again; and the consequences were a living nightmare for you. Your parents, your sister, neither your grandparents weren’t there to defend you.

The angry voices of the crowd mocking you, you look for her amongst the crowd and there she was; looking at you with that gaze, the same gaze all of other people had thrown upon you. You cried, just like the small fragile child you were, moving closer to her to take that warm loving embrace she had promised. But she didn’t. She didn’t. She didn’t acknowledge you but instead mock you amongst the crowd as well and so you despised her for it. After many years growing up, you finally realized she had intended to leave you in a place you couldn’t control yourself to steal, to put yourself in a situation where you no one but only you are left alone to defend yourself. It doesn’t really matter now, to be honest. Just seeing her, irks you a bit.

“When I heard from your parents that you have successfully healed from your condition, it was so much to say that I didn't believe it. After all, a kleptomaniac will always be a kleptomaniac..” she walks closer to you, a smile slowly curving up, “And i was right. How silly, sweetheart.”

“Shut up.” you spat out. In which she chuckled.

You frowned, trying to sit up. But you felt as if there was a strong force pulling you down back to the bed, weakness spiraling over you. And then your head aches once again.

“Don’t force yourself, sweetheart..” she chuckled, “your parents had sent you here for me to ‘fix’ your condition again, and i was to say the least, were amused.” she leans towards the window, glancing at your parents and your sister outside the hospital.

“Fix, they said. Wealthy people are all the same..” she let out an exaggerated sigh, now looking at you and as if she had read your mind. “You know why I didn't take you last time? To cradle you like a lost baby when you came to me?”

“It’s because I hate wealthy kids like you. Brats who think they can get anything by crying and an attention seeker. But I guess you’re turning to it now, and even worse. How unfortunate.” you could care any less about what she said, but you were left confused about her last sentence.

She walks closer to you, stroking your arm. “That you had another condition, how amusing.”

“W-what? What are you saying?”

Sighing, “Come in, Mrs. Kim and Sir. Kim.” the door opens, revealing your parents with their faces were nothing but fatigue, and your mom’s puffy eyes, your dad letting out a heavy sigh as he took a quick glance at you before looking at your psychiatrist.

Biting your lips as you look down to your hands, what’s happening?

“What should we do now?” Your dad asked her, taking quick glances at you.

“I suggest that we should take her for further treatment, she should be hospitalized.”

“What are you saying? Why should i go there!?”

“Yeah? Her condition isn't that bad for her to get hospitalized?” your mom asked with concern.

“That’s not what I'm talking about, because unfortunately, I found something else.”

“Wh-what?”

“Pull your sleeve up, your left arm.”

“N-no, why should I?” you instinctively covered your upper left arm covered with the material of your shirt.

“Why not? Show us, sweetheart.” your psychiatrist smirks, “We can’t help you if you don’t show it to us.”

“What’s with her left arm? Is there something with it?” your parents asked.

“N-no, there’s nothing. Forget about it.” you reasoned.

“We can’t forget about it, it’s rather serious that we-”

“It’s been a long time ago! Why are you sticking your fucking nose in my business!? Huh!?” you yelled at the top of your lungs at your psychiatrist.

“No- what? What’s happening?”

“Then I guess I have to take much harsher actions.”

“N-no! Stay away!” you screamed, as she moved closer to you, pulling your left arm. “Don’t touch me!! Get away!”

“Mom! Dad!”

“What are you doing!?” your mom cried out.

“Mam, you have to see what your own daughter was doing to herself all these years.” with so much struggle, she finally pulls your sleeve up. Revealing your bare left arm in front of your parents. And the sight shocks your parents to their core.

“(name)!!” they both exclaimed at the same time, shocked at the sight of the scars on your left arm. Some were fairly old, brownish dots and with some old deep cuts splattering all over your upper left arm.

“See? This is unacceptable, (Name) has been hurting herself, and we can’t let this happen.”

“Why are you doing this!? Since when!?” you kept quiet, mouths trembling as you tried to keep yourself from crying. Arms aching due to your therapist caging you with her arms, while pulling your left arm to the sight of your parents.

“Just why? Why!?” your mom puts her face into the comfort of her hands as she cries into them.

Thus your nightmare had begun, as your parents had agreed to let you stay in the hospital. You could do nothing but stay helpless as you sat on the floor and watched them decide your future, breaking down as you can’t believe that your life was turning into a mess. It was all doing well all this time, you managed to keep it for many years so why? Why do they have to find out about it? Especially now? Why now!?

“I won’t fucking let you keep me in this shitty place!” You screamed at them, pushing your psychiatrist aside, storming out of the room and running as fast as you could before they could catch you.

—

The light rain greeted you as soon as you left through the hospital’s entrance, your clothes soon getting drenched, but you couldn’t care any less as you had only one thing in mind; to run. To run away from all of them, who doesn’t trust you one bit, who doesn’t understand you nor tries to understand you. Not even your sister, who you had thought would trust you. No one. But were you selfish for even asking for that? That’s why you weren’t getting any of the warmth you’ve been hoping for? Was that it?

Just then, you felt a hand suddenly grabbing your arm preventing you from running. You gasped but soon anger came through you as you turned around to see who it was.

“L-let go of me!” you trashed around, trying to break free from Heeseung’s strong grasp.

“No wait! What’s wrong!?’

“Let go! Freak!”

“(Name)! Calm down! What’s wrong!?” you successfully break free from his grasp, running as fast as u can away from the hospital but he managed to hold you by your wrist again, preventing you from running.

“What’s wrong with you!? At Least tell me first!”

“Get the fuck away from me!”

“(Name)!!”

“What the fuck do you want!?” you screamed, “What? Are you here to make fun of me too!? Scream at me and yell at me for something i didn't do!?”

“You’re already ruining my relationship with my sister!! What else do you want!?” you cried out.

“W-what? Ruin? What are you saying?”

“Yea! Not only that, but because of you now! Because of that stupid party! Now i'm going to a freakin 'hospital!”

“Hospital, w-what? Are you sick?” Heeseung’s expression became worried the moment he heard what you said.

Scoffing, “Stop fucking acting! Isn’t that what you want!? You piece of shit!!”

“Why do you hate me so much!?”

You let out an exaggerated sigh, angry tears coming out from your eyes. “Goddamnit, just stay away from me!” you turned around again, but Heeseung was adamant to not letting you go.

“What the fuck!! Let me go!” you warned, “If you don’t let me go, I’ll scream and people will arrest you!”

“Let me go.”

“Then do it.”

“H-huh?”

“I won’t let you go, it’s dangerous out there!”

“Bullshit. Let me go.” you tried to break your hands away from his grasp again. “Let me go!!!”

“Running away from your problems won’t do you any good! (Name)!”

“What do you know!? What do you know about me!?” you cried out, “Nothing! So how do you know running away won’t do me any good!?”

“I know that we don’t know each other that much, but i’ve promised!”

“I’ve promised that i would be your good friend, and that by being good friend. I would protect you and trust you-”

“Don’t ever say that word. Fuck. I don’t believe you.”

“But I trust you.”

“Shut up!”

“I trust you! I know you didn’t steal my sister’s necklace back in the party.”

“Yeah right!? Keep acting like the righteous person you are!”

“I’m not lying! And why do you keep saying that? What did I do?”

“How can you be so sure, huh? With my fucking condition, no one ever trusted me. Not even my parents, not even my sister! Fuck, maybe they did. But- but..” stopping yourself to cry, you mouth trembles.

“(Name)..”

You glared at him, “So how can you!? Huh!?” gritting your teeth, “How!?”

“Because I do! I can feel it!” Heeseung cried, “I just know you won’t steal again, when I see how you love your sister and care for her. I knew at that time. I know you won’t ever steal again so please just believe me!”

“Don’t lie.” you said in a low voice, “Don’t lie!”

“I’m not!” he held both your arms because you were hitting his chest.

“Don’t l-lie!” you finally cried. “No you don’t! You’re just lying!”

“Just shut up for once (name)!” he yells at you, he pulls you into his embrace, your head falling to his chest, and his hands stroking your hair. “I trust you. And I will protect you as long as I'm here.”

“L-let go of me!!” you keep thrashing around but he tightly holds you, not letting you go.

—

And now here you are, standing behind Heeseung as he reasoned with your parents to how they could keep you here and not even try to listen to what you said. You could only keep quiet as you were already so tired, tired of everything. It goes on for what seems like eternity before your psychiatrist eventually suggests to cast a vote, a vote to decide whether you’ll stay here or not. To your relief, your mom doesn’t actually agree with your dad to keep you here but she doesn’t have a choice but to go along with his decision earlier. But now, along with Heeseung’s word, she voted to keep you out of this place, saying that this hospital won’t do you any good. It would be so much better if you were just at home, for her to take care of you.

However, your psychiatrist and your dad voted otherwise. You had expected that from them so you weren’t that really surprised despite your broken heart. Heeseung voted to keep you out from here, making you really feel grateful upon hearing that. For some reason, you weren’t allowed to vote since in fact, it was about you so now it’s 2 votes against 2.

It was a tie.

“Now get me out of here. It’s a fucking tie, you can’t keep me here.” You spat out behind Heeseung’s back to your psychiatrist. Silence ensues as your psychiatrist was deep in thought, thinking of what to do.

“Just stop thinking, god.” Heeseung sighed, “Let’s go, (Name).” he took your hands in his.

“She should stay here.” you turned to look around to see your sister standing at the doorway.

“Unnie?”

“After all that happens, are you still going to let her out there?” Chaewon spat out, glaring at you. You can’t believe it. You can’t believe what you’re hearing from her right now. Your mouths trembling, tears threatening to come out from your eyes again.. She can’t be?

“Are you saying it’s better for (Name) to stay here?” your psychiatrist asked her.

“Yeah, you should get treated and get better. (Name).”

“But I'm not sick!’” You yelled at the top of your lungs, gritting your teeth.

“I fucking doubt that. Do you really think you deserve to be out there after what you did?”

“So it’s 3 votes against 2.” Your psychiatrist fixes her glasses, straightening her posture as she calls for the nurses.

“You can’t do this to me..” you shook your head in desperation, falling to the ground in which Heeseung immediately held you. “How can you do this to me!?”

“I’m the one who should be asking you that. Why are you doing this to us?” Chaewon asked calmly, raising her eyebrows at you with that same gaze. That gaze. That fucking gaze.

“Chaewon! You can’t do this to her!” Heeseung protested, which immediately made Chaewon glare at him.

“She’s been insulting and accusing you all this time, and even Heemin!? Heeseung, for fuck’s sake. You’re too kind, but for once please don’t meddle with our family’s business.” Chaewon clasp her hands together, then she looks down at you, “You don’t know just what kind of girl she is.”

“Chaewon! She’s still your sister!” Your mom cried out, walking to your side.

“That’s the reason! She’s my sister that’s why we should let her get treated and not let her out there with her fucking condition! See? She’s also hurting herself! Isn’t that what insanes do?”

Insane?

“Watch your mouth, Chaewon!” Your mom yelled at her, whilst your dad stayed silent. You immediately caught on that your dad was siding your sister.. He, too, was looking at you with that same gaze.

“God, mom! Just look at her! She fucking lied, not just once but alot of times! Heeseung, Chaeryeong and that fucking necklace! You’re fucking insane.” she glares at you.

Your heart broke. Shattered to pieces as you couldn’t believe, you could’t fucking believe that she called you that. Why? What had happened for her to change so drastically like this? What happened? What is happening to your sister? You were both just fine all along this time, so why? Why was she so upset? It shouldn’t have gone so worse like this.

“Honey? You can’t let this happen!” your mom cried out, “Even if she stole a thousand times, we’re still her family! And can’t you see it!?” she gestures towards your arm.

Shaking her head, as she looks up to your dad, “This isn’t right.”

However your dad still stayed silent, and your psychiatrist spoke, “It has been decided, mam. We can’t do anything about it, but rest assured, we will do our best to treat your daughter-”

“I’m not insane..” you talk to yourself, eyes welling up in tears. “I’m not insane!

You cried out as the nurses came in, pulling you up and away from them. Heeseung couldn’t do anything too but stood silent, because it wasn’t his business in the first place.

“Mom! Dad!” you cried out so loud, it echoed through the hallway. “Unnie!”

—

Ever since then, you've been stuck in this hellhole called ‘hospital’. And apparently your sister had despised seeing you and refused to visit along with your parents which had entirely broken your heart.

Empty.

Empty, was what you felt when you laid on the hospital bed every fucking single day, staring at the white ceiling. You don’t even know if you can call it a feeling, but it felt like your heart has been stomped on countless times that it had this big hole in it. Clenching your fists as you remembered all the things your sister said to you. How could she? Pressing your lips tight as you tried to suppress crying again. You were tired, tired with all the shitty things that happened. It was all doing fine, you were doing just fine all this time so why? Why has it come to this?

Raising your arms up to your eyes to prevent the tears from coming out was useless, as it eventually finds its way out, wetting your arms as it flows down your cheeks. Your mouth trembles as you bite your lip, stopping yourself from crying out loud.

Sad, sad.

As the faint smell of the medicines lingers on the air, and the cold floor of the hospital, the nurses coming in to give you meds; all of it was hell. And along with it, another faint smell of food came.

Heeseung.

Yes, Heeseung. Amidst all the chaos, trouble and emptiness you had went through in this hospital, there was this comfort that had been by your side all this time, and that was him; Heeseung. He comforted you with his words, telling you that all will be fine and well. That your parents will eventually take you back and that they actually didn’t plan to keep you here for much longer and that he had told you that your sister still cares about you, she was just busy with college and stuff. Yes, Heeseung. The person who had been accompanying you through this hellhole all this time. If it wasn't because of him, you'd turn into a living corpse with no one beside you. Since the rain incident, you didn’t expect for one bit that he would do all what he said under the rain..

But he did, he promised and he did exactly what he said.

And so here you are in the hospital, you will be here for a few weeks to undergo your treatment. Just like what Heeseung said, it won’t take long and they just have to do a few tests and your mom assured you that you just needed some time to rest.

You heard a knock from the door, revealing Heeseung with a box of food in his hands.

“What are you now, my nanny?”

“Maybe,” Heeseung chuckled.

If you had told the you three weeks ago that you and Heeseung would have gotten this close, she wouldn’t believe it all. In fact she would laugh at you to death and wouldn’t even believe a single word you said. But here you are now, joking with Heeseung and spending a lot of time with him. He had been visiting you along with your parents, and then coming back secretly at night to spend time with you with the reason that he doesn’t want you to be alone. At first, you were wary around him however you eventually ease up around him in which he jokingly mentions about it in one of your conversations.

"Here a flower for you," Heeseung playfully picks a flower from the garden and puts it beside your ear. "You look so pretty." He whispered to himself but you managed to hear it.

"Are you flirting? Because if you are, I'm going to tell unnie about it."

"Jeez, what's so bad about calling you pretty. Even Chaewon would say the same." He frowned, in which you chuckled about how adorable he looks.

"I doubt that." you look at your reflection on the window, "Unnie doesn't even want to look at me now. Because of my stupid arm, stupid condition and my stupid hallucinations."

"Don't let it get through you,"

"Hm?"

"Your sister might be mad and all but she still cares for you, I can see that. That's why I'm here to take care of you, for her."

"So you must get well soon, I really don't know what's happening between you and your sister. However, if you really love her then you must try."

"I don't know.. Heeseung." you shook your head slowly.

"It's okay, I'm here right?" he strokes your cheek with his fingers, "I'll be right here beside you unlike that old woman, but you just have to prove it to them. Just show it to them, take your meds and all those treatment."

"Your sister would see how hard you're trying to get better, and with that, she'll no longer be upset with you."

"Really?"

He hummed in response, pulling you into his embrace, "and everything will be go back to the way it was soon, and I promise you that."

And you listened to him, you don't know where are you getting those hallucinations but if you are getting it then, there must just be something wrong with you. So you have to get better, for the sake of your sister.

He would continue on visiting you with your family, with or without them, he’ll come back bringing extra foods, some ornaments, and book stories for him to read for you. In which you protested that you are not a kid, but he insisted since it will calm you down and won’t make your days in the hospital boring as hell.

—

The door to your room opens quite loud, making you roll your eyes as to who doesn’t have the basic manners to knock first.

“(Name)!” but your eyes widened when you realized who the voice came from, your smile grew so wide when you finally turned around to see who it was.

“Chaeryeong!” she run to you in small hops and pulled you in a hug.

“How have you been? I miss you so much!!” Chaeryeong pouted with her eyebrows knitted together, as she sat beside you.

“I miss you more..” you exclaimed, hugging her again.

“Yah, what’s wrong with your face? You look like a corpse.” She cupped your cheeks with her hands as her cheerful face was replaced with concern.

“Really?”

“Yeah, look. Bish, why aren’t you looking after yourself?” She pulled out her phone, using the camera app for you to look at yourself, and she was right. You somehow look sick, with your face pale and your lips dry.

“Tch, you never know if there’s a hot nurse here so at least make yourself look presentable, duh.” she sighs exaggeratingly, making you laugh.

“Not everything has to be about boys!” you flick her forehead making her wince in pain.

“Yeah, yeah. Oh- here.” she pulled out a box of chocolate bars from her bag, “Ta-da! I bought this for you!”

“Chocolates!” you exclaimed, taking one chocolate bar and munching it happily.

“What’s wrong?” you asked through your mouthful of chocolates after noticing a change of Chaeryeong’s expression. “Is my mouth dirty?”

“N-no! You just really look like a corpse, duh.” she chuckled, “You should really take care of yourself, (Name).”

“I am, don’t worry.” you smiled happily.

Words can’t express how your heart feels so happy to see your best friend, after all she was your only friend. The friend who was by your side as you grew up even when she never really took actions to those people who bullied you in school, but you can’t really blame her because they might target her and bully her too, and you don’t want that to happen so you once told her to stay away from you but she didn’t. You still remember when she would come secretly to your house, and spend time with you doing stupid but fun things, bringing you everywhere with her and you were really grateful for that. Because of her, you knew how it feels like to have a friend.

A true friend.

—

“Oh, did someone visit?” Heeseung asked, bringing a tray of food.

“Yea, my bestie. She just left, didn’t you see her?”

“No I didn't.” he shrugged, placing the tray of food on your desk.

“Weird. Shouldn’t she have passed the other way-?”

“Prob an invisible person like you,”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, your bestie right? Must be a crackhead like you too.” he jokes.

“Shut up!” laughter filled the room, along with the sunlight creeping in and the fresh air of the garden coming in. The door to your room opens, revealing an old nurse holding a tray of syringes. You immediately caught on that it was for the blood test. Heeseung excused himself saying he'll come back again, and you nodded in response.

“It’s going to hurt a bit.” the old nurse gave you a sweet smile, in which you also smile in return,

“It’s okay.” you observed as the needle was pushed into your skin, drawing blood from it as the syringe quickly filled up.

—

Finally, today was the day. You can finally go back home.

Home.

Packing your bags, your heart were jumping in excitement but with a lingering sadness that you will soon meet your sister again, everything she said and everything she did all was coming back to you again. Shaking your head, you decided not to dwell on it. After all, everything was just a misunderstanding, right? You will come back home, meet your sister and explain everything, and everything will be fine again. It has been a few weeks now, so your sister must be no longer upset right?

Right?

Forcing yourself to smile, reassuring yourself that everything will be okay. Even with fear lingering in your heart, it’s best to stay positive. Yes, stay positive. You gaze out of the window, the clear blue sky making you remember all the happy memories you had with your sister, you look down, touching the necklace she had given to you which you are wearing right now.

Now with your smile being genuine, a new sense of hope filled you up.

The door to your room opens, you turn around happy that your parents were finally here but to your surprise, it wasn’t them. Instead, it was your psychiatrist.

“What.. are you doing here?” you raised your eyebrows, curious with her amused expression.

“Going home?” she chuckles, “I fear it won’t happen, my sweetheart.”

“W-what are you saying?”

“Ah..” she let out a heavy sigh. “It's no doubt you’re a kleptomaniac, but..?” letting out a giggle.

“W-what?”

“I can’t believe you were taking drugs, sweetheart. A kleptomaniac and a druggie? What a perfect combination.” she giggled.

“What the fuck are you saying?” you cried out. A thousand times you had asked the same thing. And all of them were outside your knowledge. Things you didn’t do, they all accused you. And every time they asked that, it buries the hole inside your heart more way bigger than it was before.

“Are you taking drugs or what?” Chaeryeong giggled.

Memories of Chaeryeong instantly flashes through you, it can’t be true. You’ve never taken drugs, not even once. So how?

You saw your parents go in through the door with disappointment and anger written on their face, along with your sister following behind them. Your mom immediately walks closer to you, slapping your arm, weeping in disappointment.

“When!? When did you do it!?” she cried out, with tears in her eyes. You remain silent, still shocked over what was revealed. You look over at your dad and your sister, you had expected a series of questions from your dad and your sister, but they didn’t. They were silent. Disappointment painted on their face.

“(Name)!! When? When did you start doing that? (Name)!!” your mom asked, with tears in her eyes, completely disappointed over the ‘truth’.

“I didn’t!!” you exclaimed. “When can I even get a drug!?”

“Stop lying! Is this how we raise you!?” your mom yelled.

“M-mom!!” you cried out so hard,

“Why the hell do you keep believing what they say!? Why not me!?” you yelled at them at the top of your lungs, tears welling up in your eyes once again.

“I told you I never took drugs!”

“Then why is it in your blood!?”

“I dont know!!” you cried out.

“Enough, honey.” your dad sighed, the disappointment was evident in his eyes as he gazed coldly at you, making your soul run cold. The last time he ever looked at you that way was back in the hospital, when you were the sole reason for what happened to your sister.

“What should we do now?” Your dad asked your therapist.

“I suggest she should stay here for a bit more..”

“W-what? .. No!” your eyes widened, yelling at her.

“It’s necessary since (Name)’s condition is really getting serious.”

“Mom! Dad!” you walked closer to them, “You can’t!”

“Kleptomaniac, self harming, and not to mention the drugs. It’s dangerous.”

“Shut the fuck up!!” you turned around, attacking her.

“You’re lying! I never took drugs, bitch!! You’re bullshitting me!!” you screamed at the top of your lungs as emotions completely took over you.

“Are you all fools!? What’s happening to all of you?” clenching your jaw as you glared at them.

Few nurses came in, pulling you away from your psychiatrist. But you fought, you won’t stop, your parents were horrified to see your maniac state.

“No! I wanna go home! Mom, Dad!” you cried out, “Why wouldn’t you trust me!? They’re all lying!!”

Home.

You just wanna go home. That’s all you wanted. But instead of home and warmth, it was replaced with fear and betrayal. Your hope shattered to pieces. You no longer felt safe. Trust was completely gone in your parent’s eyes as you tried to reach out your arms to them, even your mom who had initially told you that she would be there for you had turned her eyes away, ignoring you as you were being pulled out from the room by the nurses.

“I trust you, (Name).” memory of Heeseung flashes to you as tears fall down to your cheeks, “Heeseung..”

“Where is he?” you looked around, searching for him. And then through the door, your sister appeared with Heeseung. You would’ve been safe when it was your sister but no, you knew she doesn’t trust you and so your gaze fell on him; the him who appeared like an angel.

“What are you doing!? Get off of her!” he yelled at them, pushing all of them away from you. And just like you when you were a child, looking for a warm embrace from your psychiatrist.

“Please hug me!” your little self cried out, raising both your arms to look for that warm embrace. But you were left standing there all alone by yourself, as the one who had promised to be by your side, was just standing there staring at you with a blank expression.

“Apologize right now!” a woman scolded you, “Where’s your parents!?”

“Stop lying! If you keep that shitty attitude, just what kind of girl are you growing up to someday!?”

You raise both your arms, in which he took it pulling you in a hug. A soft, warm, and home-like embrace.

“You’re hurting her! Are you fucking serious right now!?” you cried in his arms.

“I wanna go home!” you cried out, gripping Heeseung’s cardigan.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Heeseung comforts you who were shaking in fear. His warmth was the only thing that’s keeping you sane right now.

Then you watched as your sister, your parents were talking with your psychiatrist. You couldn’t hear anything, as your head grew dizzy and your vision getting blurry. But even with all of that, you could still see their face, disappointment clearly written on their face.

And just like that. . .

You could only watch as everything had completely fallen apart in front of you. Your parents, your sister, your life; everything was falling apart. Today was supposed to be the day you should’ve went home, back to your home and the coziness of your bed, to make things better again with your sister and apologize to her for everything. Go to school again and hang out with Chaeryeong, for things to be the way they used to be. But how funny it was when you can only watch as they walk out from the door, leaving you, again. Why were you even surprised? Nothing seems to change after all, you thought.

“I’ll be back..” Heeseung whispered into your ears, your grip started to loosen on his arms as he stood up and let go of you slowly.

Hanging your head low slightly, biting your lips to stop yourself from crying even more. With your hands clenching the material of your pants, and your body was shaking. You were helpless, unable to do anything as your family had decided to keep you in the hospital for god knows how long.

—

You cried, you cried and cried for how long god knows. All alone in your room with only the bright moonlight accompanying you, you hugged yourself trying to search for warmth. The same warmth that came from Heeseung. You looked up, getting up from your bed and went glancing outside your window to look for any signs of Heeseung but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Heart sinking in disappointment, you went back to bed. He should've come around this hour like he always did, so where was he? Doesn’t he trust you anymore? Did they change his mind? Has his view on you changed the moment he walked out the door?

Then you heard hasty footsteps approaching, and you immediately knew who it was. Your eyes lit up observing as the door pulled open with Heeseung going in. And you immediately ran towards him, hugging him. His arms wrapped around your waist as he leans into your neck, telling you it's okay. His soft voice instantly soothes you like a mother’s voice to her child, feeling his warmth on yours, you sighed in contentment.

“I’m sorry, I was late wasn't i?” you cried in his arms, not saying anything. “I’m sorry, i’m sorry.”

“I thought you don’t trust me anymore. That’s why you’re not coming.”

“Hush, don’t say that.”

“But it’s true, no one trusted me. Not even Mom, dad. Not even Unnie.”

“They’re probably just shocked to hear about it.”

“But still they didn’t trust me..” you cried again.

“It’s okay, i’m here. I trust you. I won’t leave you.” he hugged you even tighter, now sitting on the floor with you on his chest like a child would to its mother.

—

“If it’s okay to ask, how did you get that?” you notice that he was actually mentioning about the scars on your upper left arm.

You kept silent, a bit hesitant to tell the truth. Noticing your hesitation, he stroked your hand giving you a small smile, “You know you don’t have to tell me right? It’s okay.”

“I did it.”

“It was because of my sickness.”

“Growing up, I always felt the urge to steal. To take something that I don't own, I never wanted to do it but I couldn't. I wanted to stop. But I couldn't. It wasn’t easy, no. It was never easy. It was hard, very hard. They took me to the psychiatrist, to cure my condition. At first, my parents were hopeful. All of them. But then, i don’t know when, when i caught them with that gaze, my heart dropped. I thought at that time, have they given up on me? Are they embarrassed about me? That it embarrassed my sister about it, not only her. My entire family. But really was it my fault? That I was born with this condition?” you cried out, “Because of something i can’t control, they don’t like me at all.”

“And because of my condition, no one really wanted to be my friend. They call me a thief. But it was fine, it was fine. It was okay, I could live through it. It doesn’t matter at all, maybe.”

“But then, something happened that really made me feel angry. For once, I wanted to show them that I'm angry. That if they want to treat me like that, then so be it. I wanted to ruin something and so I did.”

“However, I never expected that my sister would hurt herself. I swear. They blamed me, they told me that I was the reason, and I feel really guilty. I hated myself for stealing, I hated the fact that I had this condition in the very first place, no. I hated that I was even born in the first place!”

“You never change,' my dad told me that. It was because of you. It’s you, it was you. Mom said that. It hurts. Okay. Let’s say it was my fault, but have they ever think how hurt I felt when they blamed me for something I can't control!? That guy. Unnie. Everyone. They made me hate myself. It’s not like I wanted it! I also wanted to stop!”

“I tried everything! I go to my therapist! I searched for many ways to stop stealing. But it never works! And I feel really helpless at that point.”

“When I got the urge to steal again. I hated that. And so I did it. I took a pen and stabbed my arm. Whenever I felt the urge to steal, I did it. Whenever I find myself staring at someone’s stuff, I stab my arm with it. When I tried to touch someone’s stuff, I did it again. I do it again, over and over again. Reminding myself that this was the pain my sister felt, this was the pain my family had felt all because of my condition, all because of me.”

“But it hurts!” you cried out, Heeseung immediately pulled you into his chest, warming you with his embrace as you struggled to talk, trying to take out the words. The pain you felt in your chest.

“I-i r-remind myself that this pain was what they felt over and over again because of me. And if I want this to st-stop, then I should stop myself from st-stealing.”

“And it works. I finally did it. I was happy. But the wound never goes away. But it was fine, I told myself. Everyone was happy that I was cured. They were happy, I was happy that they finally saw me as someone, someone who doesn’t steal. But you know, some of them still look at me the same way..”

“But it's okay!” you sniffed, shaking your head. “It doesn’t matter! I have my sister! I have my family. They believed me now! So it’s okay!”

Gritting your teeth as your lips tremble, “But what now!? All of those bullshit things. That fucking necklace, drugs and this fucking wounds! This!”

“I was afraid that if they saw it. Something worse could happen. Even if I told them, it’s not like they would understand! And guess what? They really didn’t.”

“It’s okay, shh. It’s okay.” Heeseung cried alongside with you, the moonlight shine on you two as you cried in each other’s arms.

“I’m tired..” you sighed in Heeseung’s arms, “It’s so tiring.. Everything.”

And with that, you finally dozed off on Heeseung’s arms with tears in your eyes falling down to your cheeks. Heeseung raised his other hand to your hair, softly stroking it with his fingers till it reached your cheek, wiping off the tears.

“It’s okay..” he softly says, resting his chin on your head, “It will end soon..”

—

Starting from that day on, your parents rarely visited. Heeseung told you that they were completely disappointed in you that they couldn’t just bring themselves to look at you, he can’t help but tell you that because he doesn’t want you to keep thinking why they weren’t visiting. As much as it hurts, you were grateful that he told you the truth.

It’s better that you weren’t fooling yourself.

Reading the book Heeseung gave you, was the very last thing that made you sane in this hospital. You don’t know how long you would stay here, however you wish it would pass soon. Ever since that day, you and Heeseung grew more and more closer. You had trusted him and grew to love him for he was always there by your side.

Yes. You’ve started to love him and you don’t know how and when. But somewhere along in those days, you started to look at him in a different way.

You really didn’t expect that it could turn out like this but for once, you didn’t regret it. However, even though you loved him, you still won’t betray your sister because of him. You were just grateful that he was there by your side, and that he did as he promised. He didn’t break it, and you appreciated that. Who could think that the boy you were planning to mess around with through a dating app turns out to be the person who will defend you from everything? Upon realizing that, you felt a sense of guilt towards him that you even accused him of something that he didn’t do, and that you insulted him and possibly could’ve hurted him over it. Because of your stupid hallucinations, you almost ruined their relationship. Sighing, how could you even be able to take drugs? When and how?

Was it possible that someone could’ve drugged you? But who?

“Miss?” you got snapped out of your thoughts when a male nurse waved his hand through your face, “You have to take your meds.”

“Oh, right.” you smiled, and swallowed your meds along with the water. “Thank you.”

Then you notice him blushing, in which you tilted your head which he immediately caught on raising his hand to his cheeks covering it,

“Ah, it’s nothing, sorry!”

“You’re just so pretty, I'm sorry if that sounds weird.” curving his lips up in an awkward manner, as you laugh it off finding it cute.

“It’s fine!” you smiled. You then heard a knock on the door, with Heeseung leaning against it. The nurse then immediately took his leave, bowing his head slightly to you with a smile on his face. You observed as Heeseung walked past the nurse, and somehow you saw something on his expression that you can’t seem to guess but it was immediately replaced with a cheerful smile when his eyes fell on you, making your heart flutter.

“I see, you got an admirer?” Heeseung asked, with a grin on his face.

“It’s none of your business.” You rolled your eyes, in which he shrugged in response.

“Where have you been by the way?” you asked.

“From your house, I actually have a date with Chaewon today so I fear I can't really accompany you today, (Name).”

“Oh..” your shoulder fell, a bit disappointed over what you heard.

“I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you next time okay?”

“N-no! Why would you? I told you right, treat my sister well. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Are you sure? Won’t you feel alone?”

“God, it’s not like I'm a child. Just go!”

“Alright, but I promise I’ll really make it up to you.” He raised his hand, stroking your cheek. For some reason, you loved it. You loved his touch, leaning in to feel his warm hands more.

—

Gazing out of the window, you let out a heavy sigh as it feels too lonely. You were really lonely, Heeseung was in fact, the only one who had spent his time talking with you and comforting you.

The lights from all the buildings weren’t enough to make you feel better, after all Heeseung was always here to accompany you and read bed stories to you. Even though you hated it, the fact that he read bed stories to you makes you feel like you’re a child. It actually helps you feel better, and also when he sings a lullaby for you. You grew to love his voice, it was soothing and heavenly-like. Suddenly, you hear a knock from your door, immediately turning your head happy that Heeseung is finally here.

But your shoulder fell in disappointment, as it was only the female nurse who often brings you meds during her nightly shift. She bowed her head slightly upon meeting your gaze, in which you nodded in response. She quietly walks over to you, bringing a tray of a glass of water and a bottle of meds.

“Is.. um, Heeseung here?” you asked without much thought, mentally cursing yourself for even asking that. How could she have possibly known? You held the need to roll your eyes.

“Heeseung?” the nurse tilted her head in confusion, “Ah! That guy? Heeseung?”

You nodded your head, still delighted that she caught up quick.

“Unfortunately I can’t see him anywhere, miss. It’s a bit late now.”

You sighed upon hearing that, a bit disappointed over the fact that Heeseung’s really not going to come today. But why were you even surprised? Heck, why were you even disappointed? For what? You scoffed with your own thoughts.

The nurse then places the tray on your small desk, handing you a glass of water and a pill in which you obliged. Sighing as you stare at the meds on your palm, you’re getting crazy aren’t you?

“Is he your boyfriend?”

The words snapped you out from your deep thought as you turned to look at the nurse, “Huh? Who?”

“The guy Heeseung.”

Upon hearing the words, you immediately let out a soft laugh. “N-no! He’s just a friend.”

“Ah.. I see.”

“Why are you asking?” you smiled, “Do you like him?”

“No! Of course not!” you let out a chuckle as the nurse raised both her hands as if to defend herself. “Not with that attitude..”

“Hm?”

“Um, I'm not so sure if I could say it.”

“Nah, it’s okay. You can tell me anything.”

—

After the conversation with the nurse, you went to the hospital’s garden. Your mind was still lingering on what she said, about Heeseung and the way he acts around the people in the hospital. She told you that Heeseung was a completely different person when she accidentally bumped into him the other day, and just like what every person should do, she apologized. However, the response she received surprised her.

“Fucking annoying.” was what she heard from Heeseung who was glaring at her, ignoring her apologies and went on his way.

You were actually hesitant to believe what she said, even when she told you that the rest of the nurses also said the same. His cold, and somewhat rude attitude that really surprises them even with how good-looking he looks, his attitude just wasn’t it. However, you still find it hard to believe. You couldn’t. Not when he did all those things for you. Being by your side, accompanying you when you need someone, and defending you when no one does. You had expected that from your sister, but instead Heeseung took the responsibility. You pass it off as a misunderstanding, sure the nurse wasn’t lying, but Heeseung must’ve been in a bad mood at that time. It just happens at the wrong time, you thought.

Gazing at the dark sky, you sighed as there were no stars to be found on them. You’ve always loved to gaze at the stars whenever you feel bored, alone or just for the sake of watching them. However, the stars weren’t there to accompany you. Today was really lonely, isn't it?

Letting out another heavy sigh, you stood up getting ready to go back inside the hospital. But your breath hitched when you saw someone standing from your peripheral view, instantly turning your head to see the person. But the stranger immediately left as if to avoid being caught by you, making your eyes widen in fractions. Who was that?

Without much thought, you followed the stranger, silently catching up to them. You peek at the edge of the wall, and the stranger’s back facing you. By the figure, you caught on that it was a guy wearing a black hoodie and long black pants. Then it hit you.

The one who was stalking you on that day. On the day of the party, after you fought with your sister. When you got that text. When you sense it. That was him. A whole new courage fills you up as you wanted to know who it was, and since this was the hospital. It won’t be much trouble to ask for help. Within a split second, you immediately sprint towards the stranger, launching yourself on him and kicking him on his back.

Hovering upon him, “Yah! Who the fuck are you!? What are you doing here!?” you tried to pull off his hoodie to see his face but he pulled it back trying to keep it to it’s place.

“Show your face! Goddamnit!” You kicked him on his back again, resulting in him groaning. Then he instantly pushes himself up with his hands making you fall backwards, and the stranger immediately runs away from you sprinting inside the hospital. “For fuck’s sake!!

And of course, you chase after him going inside the hospital going past the long hallway that was almost completely empty since it was already past midnight. The hallway was dark and only the lights from the slightly opened doors of each room shine through the hospital’s floor. You halt your steps, catching a breath, you lose him. Mentally cursing yourself, you can’t let him go.

But then you saw a dark silhouette passing a bit farther from you, “You!”

You chase after him inside one of the dark rooms he went into, silently walking inside. To your dismay, you tried to turn on the lights but it wasn’t working. Only the moonlight was bright enough to lighten the room just enough for you to see the medical stuff on the huge desk. Just then you hear footsteps slowly walking behind you, your heartbeat suddenly quickens after you realize just what kind of situation you put yourself into.

Hands shaking as you swallow into your throat, you immediately take the nearest object behind you; a metal tray, to smash to the stranger's head, twisting your torso to land the impact on him but to your dismay, he quickly dodges it and kicks the tray off your hands. Strong pair of arms immediately pulled your arms, your back coming into contact with his chest, he caged you in between his arms.

Adrenaline quickly fills your body as you trashed around, trying to escape from the stranger’s grasp but he was too strong, now with his right hand on your mouth preventing you from screaming. Only muffled screams can be heard amidst the silence inside the room you were both in.

‘Heeseung!’ you pressed your eyes shut, you felt nothing but fear, hoping for Heeseung to appear and save you.

“C-calm down! I’m not trying to hurt you!” the stranger spoke behind you, your eyes shoots open as soon as you heard it, his voice. It was familiar.

“Stop moving!”

“Trust me! Please! Just stop moving and I'll release you!” you immediately complied, in which he actually releases you from his grip. But you scoffed, taking another glass bottle and hitting him on his head, completely shattering it to pieces.

“Fuck! Why did you hit me!” he groaned in pain.

“Freak! Stalker!”

“Huh!?”

“Why were you stalking me!?” you yelled at the top of your lungs, in which his eyes grew wide, clearly shocked over what you said.

“I can explain!”

“Explain what? What is there left to explain!?” you grit your teeth, feeling nothing but anger. “You’re insane!”

“No! Push that away! It’s dangerous!”

“Now you know, huh!? Scared? I was scared too when you fucking chase me the other day!”

“I had a reason for that! Please, hear me out!”’

Silence.

“Please. . .” he kneeled down on the floor, clasping his hands together.

It was silence for quite a moment, trying to think of what to do with him.

“Fine. Let’s see what you got.” You lowered the shattered bottle, still gripping it tightly in case he ever plans something funny.

“Lee Heeseung.”

“What?”

“Don’t trust that guy, he’s fooling you and your sister.”

“What the fuck are you saying!?” you spat out, eyes widened.

—

“Yo, earth to (Name)?” you were immediately pulled out from your daydream when Heeseung suddenly appeared in front of you, sitting on the bed just a few inches away. With an amused expression on his goddamn handsome face, he leans in. “What were you thinking about, huh?”

“N-nothing, since when were you here?”

A low chuckle left his mouth, giving you sudden chills, “Gosh, (Name). I have been here since a few minutes ago, you just didn’t hear me.”

You swallowed your throat, as you let out “Ah.. sorry, I didn’t realize.”

“It’s fine, at least I got the chance to see your pretty face.” a sweet smile adorns his face as he said that, making you blush slightly.

“Why are you here then?” you asked.

“Why? Can’t I?” he raised his eyebrow, in which your breath hitched.

“N-nothing, you weren’t this early before. Don’t you have any class today?”

“I do, but of course I have to check up on you. I feel guilty, y���know?” his eyes were filled with guilt as he looked at you.

“I told you, you don’t have to.” you looked down to your hands, avoiding his gaze. You don't know what to believe.

"That guy you've been spending time with all this time-"

"Here, I bought this for you!" Heeseung sat beside you, bringing a box of chocolates.

"—Is a liar."

"(Name)?" you look up to Heeseung, immediately extending your hand in which he happily places the box on your palm. Your heart fluttering as you see his cheerful smile.

"And you wanna know why you got that blood results where it says you've taken drugs?"

"Because that guy, Lee Heeseung.."

You pull the cover of the box on your hand, opening the cover which had delicious chocolate bars sprinkled with toppings on it.

"Was drugging you all this time, and you have no single idea about it.”

“Bullshit.” you spat out, “Why should I believe you?”

“I knew you would say that..'' the boy let out a small chuckle, as if he had really expected for you to say that, “They always give you meds right? What if I tell you those meds weren't to cure you?”

“W-what?”

“What if I tell you those meds you were taking all this time.. Was drugs?”

—

You immediately turned your head at the door after hearing the knock, and to your surprise, the new male nurse who had given you meds wasn’t here, instead it’s the old female nurse. The same nurse who had drawn blood from you before, but now she was bringing the meds for you.

“Um.. Where’s the nurse from yesterday?”

“Oh, he had taken a leave for the day. And so I was here to fill in the empty spot.” She smiled warmly at you, handing you the glass water along with the pill.

“Don’t take those, I’m telling you. Those are drugs.”

You stared at the pills for what seemed like a few minutes, when the nurse immediately called for you, snapping you out of your thoughts. Nodding in response, you took the pill while drinking it along with the water. But unbeknownst to the nurse, you only swallowed the pill to some extent.

After she left, you put your finger inside your mouth, spitting it out in the process. You don’t know why you were even believing that stalker, however because of the drugs you knew you never took, you couldn’t help but believe him.

—

“Why are you helping me?” you asked without much thought, when EJ finally appeared again sitting against the door with his hands on his pockets, and his head slightly hanging low as if to avoid your gaze.

You observed how hesitant he was to answer your question at first, knitting your eyebrows as you waited for him to reply. He sighed, finally opening his mouth.

Your jaw dropped when he told you that the first time he had seen you was at Heeseung’s party. That he was there among the students, seeing the entire commotion you had with the Lee siblings. That ever since that incident you had with the Lee siblings, he had watched over you. He saw everything, the fight you had with your sister after the party, the hallucinations you got, and even the drug incident, he saw everything. He told you that he actually doesn’t believe the entire ordeal, and when they accused you of stealing Heemin’s necklace. It just didn’t sit well with him, but he could only watch as it wasn’t his business in the first place.

“If it wasn’t your business in the first place, then why are you here?”

“Because you’re Chaewon’s sister..”

“Huh?”

“I.. like her.” your jaw dropped again when you heard his confession, “And I can’t let her get fooled by that piece of shit.”

“How?”

“Heeseung, that guy.. Has a petty game with his friends, and their target was Chaewon. The dare was to ..” He paused for a moment, as if he couldn't let the word out, “To do something to Chaewon and get a pic of it..”

Your heart sank the moment those words left his mouth, rage started to fill in your veins.

“How the fuck did you know about it?”

“..I accidentally heard it from Heeseung’s friends when I passed them.”

“And how the hell can I trust you about it?” you raised your head, looking up to him. “That you weren’t fooling me or some shit?”

"How do I know that you're not accusing H-heeseung?" You stuttered,

“I wouldn't lie about this. I swear. Because I care for her!” EJ yelled, “I care for Chaewon."

You went silent, not knowing what to say. Your lack of response made him feel uneasy,

"The moment I knew about what they were doing, I couldn’t just let that happen to her. And so I went to the party, to watch over her so nothing can happen. But instead..-” He paused after seeing your expression.

“I’m telling you, I knew you didn’t steal it.”

‘How the fuck?” you scoffed in disbelief. This guy who’s a complete stranger, believes you? What a joke, not even your beloved sister believes a word you said. So how could he?

“Because I went through the same thing too when I was a kid,” a low scoff left his mouth. “It wasn’t a good memory. And I’m telling you, I know how you feel. But don’t let it get through you, you know? I saw how you went through all of it for the past few weeks ago-”

Your eyes widened upon hearing what he said, “W-what do you mean?”

“To be honest, I don’t know what you were doing, I assumed you were looking for someone? but I was just checking on you after the incident.. It just didn’t feel right to leave you all alone after what happened.. And I was right, you randomly passed out on the street-”

“Wait, you were there!?”

“Yeah, and I had to carry you all the way to the shop which was.. A bit tiring-”

“Shut up.” You spat out, in which he chuckled.

“Although I have to admit, you really got that determination, don't you? You still got up even after you got sick on the street.”

“Wait, was that you?” your mouth hangs slightly low, surprised that it was him. Then you quickly look at his wrist, that watch. The same watch, it was him.

“Was it that surprising?” He chuckles, “You shouldn’t really push yourself that hard though, Chaewon won’t be really happy with it.”

“I don’t know..” you said in a low voice, gazing out of the window.

“If you really wanted to help then why don’t you tell her yourself?”

Then he scoffed, "You think I didn't? Of course I did. But she won't believe me! She completely believes that guy."

"She told me I was lying and that I was trying to ruin their relationship.".... “That’s why I’m also here, because you’re Chaewon’s sister and I have to tell you about it-”

“So you want me to tell her instead?” you gestured towards yourself.

“Yeah-”

You scoffed, “Then you’re so wrong, even my sister doesn’t believe me so it’s all pointless.”

“But are you really going to let her get fooled by them?”

“Of course not!” You glared at him, he smiled in response, taking a deep breath.

““And you know what?” he looked at you again, “It didn’t really sit well with me that Heeseung was defending you over everything.

"Just be very careful around him."

“How can I be sure that this is a drug and that he was drugging me?” you showed him the pill on your palm.

“Since I was curious about where you might’ve been, like I didn’t really see you anywhere,I found out that you got admitted here. But then I saw him, with that old lady. That nurse-” it suddenly hits you when flashbacks of the nurse who drew blood from you for the blood tests. Eyes wide as you look at him, “He gave something to the nurse, at first it didn’t really bother me.. But then I keep seeing them once in a while, doing the same thing over and over again.”

You gulped, unable to believe what you had just heard. “But why would he do that?”

“I don’t know.. But whatever he’s planning, it’s clearly not good.”

"I really don't know if I can trust you about that.." a part of you refuses to believe that Heeseung was doing that to you. Not when he had already been by your side, protecting you from everything. It can't be.

"Wait, do you like him?" Your eyes widened when you heard that from him.

"No, I don't." EJ hummed in response, believing you so fast. Cause afterall,

"Okay, I know this is hard to believe. But really, I swear if I'm lying. You'll know. So please believe me."

"If your hallucinations and everything still doesn’t stop even when you no longer take those meds, then I'll leave. So please.." EJ begging you with his eyes, his jaw clenching as he looks for any response from you.

Believe me. That sentence echoes through your mind. The same sentence that you often say but were ignored. Looking at EJ's eyes, what could go possibly wrong in believing him? You'll eventually find out whether he's lying about the drugs or not. “So what are we going to do now?” you asked.

“I’ll help you.”

“How?”

“I’ll help you get out of this place, as soon as I can. It will take awhile, but after we get you out. We have to take your sister as well, and then we’ll tell her everything.”

“That’s gonna take a hell lot of work.” You scoffed, you just knew what would happen again once you meet your sister. She is far too lovesick with Heeseung for her to even believe you, but..

“But we can’t give up so easily, right?” he raised his eyebrow, waiting for your response. You stare at him for a while and then nodded in response, in which he smiled.

"What's your name by the way?" you asked suddenly.

"Me?" He pointed at himself, you nodded again. "god, how did I even forget that. EJ, just call me EJ."

"EJ.." you said it in a low voice, taking his name in.

—

Since then, EJ has been visiting you secretly. And you tried your best to avoid eating the ‘meds’ the nurse has been giving you. It goes on for about a few days like this, and what he said was true. Your headaches, and everything was gone. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you notice how you look so much better than before. Was it really true? Was Heeseung really drugging you?

You wanted to believe EJ,

But the hardest part was Heeseung himself, even when he visits sometimes because he’s getting busy with his studies, the fact that you still have to pretend like you know nothing while talking with him hurts you. You wanted to ask, why? Why was he doing it? And for some reason, you wanted to ask him yourself if it was true or not, you wanted to hear it from his own mouth, and that he’ll say no. Your heart and your mind were in chaos as you felt both anger and sadness.

Anger because of that fucking deal he had with his friends, clenching your fists as to how he were capable to plan such thing to your sister.

But then came your sadness, your heart broken that all his cheerful smiles and all the things he did for you was all fake. Because you were still in denial, unable to accept it.

You don’t know what to do. The complete difference of how ‘innocent’ he looks sometimes makes you doubt EJ, just how can Heeseung do that to you? Why would he? For what?

You stare at Heeseung’s back as he was fixing the flower pots on the window, the sunlight shines over his face making him look so ethereal and angelic, you couldn’t believe that he was even capable of doing such a thing. You really don’t want to.

“Heeseung?” you finally let out, after a moment of hesitance.

“Hm?” he hummed in response, turning his head to look at you. Your heart immediately stops, after seeing those innocent eyes.

‘Is it true?’ you pressed your lips tight, asking the question in your head as he stares at you, waiting for you to say something. ‘That you were drugging me?’

“Is there something wrong?” his soft voice snaps you out from your dilemma, tilting his head as his eyebrows were knit together along with his concern expression.

“N-nothing!” you blurted out, smiling wide.

“Are you sure?”

You nodded with a cheerful smile on your face, assuring him that it was nothing. He lets out a small ‘okay’, smiling sweetly to you in return, turning his attention back to the flower pots. Your face falls, the smile leaving your face, when you realize just what you had initially thought to ask him.

—

You gaze out of the window once again, sighing heavily because you were still in a dilemma. Today was finally the day EJ would come and take you out of the hospital, and you were supposed to be happy about it, happy that you were no longer stuck in this hell, however you feel guilty that you’re going to leave without Heeseung knowing about it. Biting your lips, you mentally cursed yourself as to why you were still thinking about him? Why won’t you still believe the fact that he was doing all those stuffs behind you and your sister?

Why? Why? Why?

“(Name)?” you were immediately snapped out of your deep thoughts when EJ appears beside you. “We have to go now.”

Extending his hand for you to grab it, you hesitated for a moment in which he notices but he patiently waits. Clearing your throat, you nodded, taking his hands as he guided you out of the door and all the way till you finally exited the hospital. The cold air greeting you along with the night sky, you somehow felt uneasy, afraid that something soon might happen.

“I know you’re worried, but it’s okay. You can trust me.” EJ grips your hand just slightly, enough to warm your hand. “After this, we’ll meet your sister, ok?”

You nodded, reassuring yourself with his words. You’re doing this for your sister, yes. You were doing it for her, you can’t let her get fooled and fall into that hellhole. You can’t, so you have to stay strong and get rid of this feelings, and-

“(Name)?”

As if there was a strong force that immediately pulls you back to its world, you halt your steps, heart beating so fast the moment you hear him. You knew it was him.

“Where are you g- .. You?" unable to turn yourself to look at him in fear that you might end up getting soft-hearted again was eating you, however you still manage to caught on his voice surprised to see EJ. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“(Name), let’s just go.” he ignores Heeseung, pulling you with him as he continues to walk to the street again.

“(Name)! Where are you going!?” he immediately rushes in, grabbing your hand preventing you EJ from pulling you with him any further. “What the fuck you doing here!?”

“Well I don't know, why don’t you ask her?”

“(Name), where are you going with this guy?”

“It’s none of your business, Heeseung. Now please let go.” you lowered your eyes, not wanting to see his face.

“No! Why would i? Let you go? With this guy?” Heeseung exclaimed, “You haven’t known him that long, he could be dangerous for god knows how!”

“And how about you!?”

“W-what?” he knitted his eyebrows together, confused.

“Stop pretending, I knew you were fooling us. Me and my sister!” you scoffed, “I can’t believe it!”

“What are you saying? I don’t understand..”

“Oh god! Stop pretending! We already know!”

“I-i don't understand what you’re saying!”

“For fuck’s sake, stop lying.” EJ spat out.

“Why were you doing that to me?” you cried out, your heart breaking as he looked at you with that innocent eyes.

“What did I do?” … “What else could I be doing!?” Heeseung exclaimed.

“Y-you were drugging me..” you almost want to vomit when you let out those words, and Heeseung’s eyes widened in fraction.

“W-what are you talking about? Drug you? Why would I do that!?” he exclaimed in surprise.

“Ask yourself!” you cried out, “You’re the only one who knows why you were doing such a thing to me!”

“God! (Name)! Why would I even think to do that to you in the first place!? How!? Drug you!?” Heeseung exclaimed, “Who told you that?”

Then he snaps his head into EJ’s direction, “This guy?”

“Why would that even matter? Why? Was it true?’

“I swear to god! No! Why would I drug you? For what?” Heeseung grabs both your arms, pulling you closer to him, “Tell me! You couldn’t possibly believe him, could you?” he looked into your eyes, and your heart felt a hit of pang when you saw how his innocent eyes were breaking in front of you. He seems so innocent. You’ve reminded yourself that he was lying, he’s definitely lying., but why did you feel something that was pulling you towards him? This stupid feelings. And along with all of that, you feel guilty for him.

You couldn’t say anything, as he looked at you with that expression, “(Name), say something.”

“Man, stop with all that bullshit.” EJ finally speaks up, trying to release you from Heeseung’s grasp.

Heeseung aggressively hits his hands away, “What are you trying to do? Why were you spreading lies about me?”

“Lies? So was it a lie that I heard from you back there?” EJ clenched his jaw, approaching him.

“What’s your plan, huh?” Heeseung spat out. Hitting EJ on his chest repeatedly,

“P-plan? I might as well ask you that, what’s your plan? Certainly not something good right?” EJ asked.

“Heeseung, stop!!”

“How could you believe him instead of me!?” “He could be lying for all god knows!” he turned to you again, surprise etched all over his face as he grabbed your arms once again.

“Don’t touch me, I really can’t believe it. You’re a liar. You were fooling us!” you slapped his arms away.

“(name)!” Heeseung exclaimed, tears welling up in his eyes which surprised you. “You can’t do this to me, you just met him and you already believe all that he said!?”

“Just why were you spreading lies about me?” he glares at EJ. “What could I possibly have done to you!”

“Tell me!” Heeseung cried out.

You were shocked to see him cry, it was something new. You’ve never seen him cried, and it breaks your heart to see him that way.

“Don’t you trust me!?” tears keeps flooding down to his cheeks as he looked up to you, you shook your head.

“No..” your heart broke, approaching Heeseung in small steps.

“How could you do this to me? (Name)?” he cried with his hands on his face.

“Don’t! He’s using your words against you.” EJ grabs you from behind, shaking his head. “You should know better! He’s lying!”

“B-but..” you hesitated, looking back and forth to Heeseung and then to EJ.

“Tell me! EJ! I really can’t believe you, just because Chaewon rejects you.. I can’t believe you are trying to get it back on her sister and me!”

“Shut the fuck up, don’t try to make this about that when it’s clearly not.”

“Wait, w-what?” your ears perked up to what Heeseung said.

“You didn’t know? He confessed to Chaewon in front of the public, but she rejected him so bad that we all pity him..” said Heeseung while tears flow down to his cheeks. “But what I wouldn't expect was you were capable of doing something like this! How can you do this to us!?”

“Shut the fuck up!” EJ yelled.

“---So you’re going all over the way here and trying to fool her sister? To fool (Name)? To get back on Chaewon for humiliating you?” Heeseung tilted his head.

“Shut up! Lee Heeseung!”

“W-what? What are you saying?” you look up to EJ, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

“This is not about that!” EJ yelled. “(Name)!”

“Is it true!?” you asked.

He fell silent, and you took a few steps backwards, shocked over the revelation.

“But it was fine for me! Please believe me! That doesn’t change the fact that I still like her or that I want to pay back for what she did, please trust me!”

“(Name)! Don’t believe him! He’s lying. You know better.” Heeseung cried out to you.

You were in a serious dilemma. Who the fuck is lying? Which one? Should you choose the guy who has defended you and trust you all this time? Or the guy who had taken care of you from behind the curtains? Who was lying!? You stood still, as your head started to grow dizzy again, unable to decide.

“God! Don’t believe him, he’s trying to fool you into staying with him!” EJ exclaimed in desperation as he noticed your hesitance,

EJ pulls your arm, "let's go! (name)!"

But Heeseung stops you both, grabbing your hand which EJ was holding too. "You're not going anywhere."

"Let go of her, who are you trying to fool here, huh?" Heeseung aggressively pulls you out from EJ’s grasp, making you wince in pain.

“I should be the one who’s asking you that!” EJ spats out, “You’re obviously turning it all about me, you bastard! (Name), don’t believe what he said! This is not about that!”

Heeseung shakes his head, "I can't believe you're doing this to me, EJ."

“Shut the fuck up! Stop acting so fucking innocent even when you're not!" ” EJ yelled at the top of his lungs, “That’s not what I'm here for! I’m protecting her! From you!”

“Protect her? Who even are you? Her brother? And what would Chaewon think that you’re here? Talking with her sister, and then taking her somewhere.” Heeseung asked, “Fuck, even she would ask you what the fuck you were doing around with (Name).”

“You.” EJ exclaimed, pointing his fingers at Heeseung. “You’re obviously turning things around-”

“(Name)! He’s obviously manipulating you! The more you talk with him, the more-” he approaches you, trying to take your arms. You were in a dilemma. You don’t know who to trust.

“I told you to stay the fuck away!” Heeseung roughly pushed him by his chest, making him take a few steps backwards.

“You stay the fuck away, son of a bitch!” EJ spat out, “I’m not letting (Name) stay with a guy like you!” growing desperate, EJ approaches you again trying to take your arm.

“(Name)! Get back on your senses! We have to go!”

“When i say stay the fuck away, stay the fuck away from her!” Heeseung delivers a strong punch towards EJ’s face, resulting in you screaming.

“Heeseung, stop!”

EJ hissed in pain, wiping off the blood of his mouth

“You’re not going to take her anywhere.” Heeseung spat out, standing in front of EJ. “I can’t believe you, after all we had done for you, you’re doing this!? To Chaewon?”

“I’m doing all of this to protect her from you! You and your stupid deal with your shitty friends!” EJ pointed at him as he stood up again.

“Why are you making up lies about me? What deal? What are you saying? What are you getting from this!?” Heeseung cried out.

“Ah, fuck. Im fucking done with you spewing nonsense shit. Talking won’t get this done-” EJ was so pissed, that he saw nothing but red. He punches Heeseung resulting in him falling on the ground.

“Guys, stop!” you screamed as you approached them both, trying to pull EJ away from Heeseung. “EJ! Stop! Please!”

“Chaewon would be so disappointed in you, that you have to go this far just to get back on her." Heeseung hissed, "EJ! This is not you, you can't betray us like this." Heeseung cries.

"Stop mentioning her name!" He hit him again.

"We thought you change, I really did.. but why?"

"You're such a manipulative piece of shit-" EJ pulls away from your grasp, making you fall backwards on the ground.

He pulls Heeseung by his collar, forcing him to stand up, “I get if you’re mad at Chaewon but you should’t bring her sister over this!”

“Talk to yourself, you piece of shit! I saw everything! I heard everything!” EJ gripped his collar so tight, it starts to choke Heeseung.

"Stop! EJ! Please!" You exclaimed ,your heart aching to see Heeseung get beaten up so badly, why aren't you defending yourself!?

“Okay if you won’t trust me! But (Name), don’t trust this guy either!” EJ exclaimed and turned to look at you, “He’s obviously drugging you! Remember?”

“I can’t believe you..” Heeseung shakes his head upon hearing that , making EJ punch him in the face resulting in him falling on the ground.

You tried to stop them but it seems anything you do or say were left to deaf ears. Things had heated up so much between them and you really don't know what to do already. Your head grows dizzy again, as you knelt to your chest bringing your hands to your head clasping them. Not wanting to hear anything more, you groaned in pain.

“Just please stop..” your vision was growing blurry only being able to see the hazy figure of EJ punching Heeseung on the ground. “It hurts. .”

“(Name)?” They start to notice your horrible state with you on sitting on the floor while putting your hands on your head, as EJ finally pushes Heeseung on the ground, making his way to you.

“(Name)? What’s wrong!?” EJ exclaimed in concern as he slowly approached you, leaving Heeseung on the ground, beaten up quite badly. However he immediately halted his steps when he heard a low chuckle from behind him.

"Ah fuck, piece of shit.. you're really irritating me." Heeseung chuckles through his cries, scratching his neck as his expression was replaced with amusement while his mouth was bleeding due to EJ’s constant punches. Raising his head slowly, looking up with tears in his eyes, "Just why are you sticking your nose in other people’s business, you bastard?"

EJ’s eyes widened, turning his torso to look at Heeseung who was now, staring at him back but with a completely different demeanor. “What?”

“Aren’t you such a fucking fool trying to act like the shining knight in his armor?” Heeseung tilted his head, with his expression clearly amused.

“You know, it’s really amusing that you even approached Chaewon in the first place, but–” his eyes darkened, “Why the fuck did you even think to get close to (Name)?”

“You’re really digging your own grave, aren’t you?”

“So you’re already showing your true nature, you son of a bitch.” EJ spat out approaching him, and pulling him up on his feet by tugging his collar again. “Do you still think (Name) will believe you after I tell her about this?”

A chilling laugh escaped from Heeseung’s mouth, “Yah, you bastard. Wanna bet?”

“H-huh?”

“Do you actually think you'll get out of this alive?”

“What? What are you saying?”

“Just where do you think we are now, you fool?” Heeseung chuckled.

—

You watched them as everything seemed to go in slow motion, with them gripping each other's collars, they were saying something to each other but your ears can’t hear anything but muffled sounds. But what you can’t seem to understand was..

EJ’s expression. Fear was what you can see on his face. Why?

“Y-you… let.. Go-” you can’t hear what he was saying, the more you try to make sense of what he said, the more it makes your head grow more painful. Closing your eyes tightly amidst all the chaos, you can hear your own breathing and your heartbeat, along with the loud ticks that you can’t seem to know where you’re hearing it from, and along with it you then hear something.

A loud crash.

You then heard an ear-piercing scream from other people, immediately covering your ears again with your hands.

Silence.

With your eyes slowly looking up, you're met with a horrifying sight of blood pooling out on the ground, dripping from them..

Blood.

Face contorting into disgust and fear, with your heartbeat quickening so loud you can hear within your ears. Breathing slowly growing rush and stuffy, you wanted to scream as you looked at their body—

NO!

'This is a dream!'

'I must be hallucinating.'

'This must be the drugs. Yes! This must be the drugs!'

'Yes! It must be the drugs. It has happened before!"

'I'm hallucinating, I'm hallucinating, I'm hallucinating.'

You covered your ears with your hands, slowly moving them over to your eyes, pressing it firmly.

'please go away, please go away, go away!' you repeatedly prayed in your mind, for your hallucinations to stop.

"Oh my god!"

"Call the ambulance!"

"Help!"

"Someone help! Please!"

Your heart sank hearing those words. Slowly lowering your hands from your eyes, the bright light your eyes making you squint. You blinked repeatedly to fix your blurry vision and you are met with the exact same horrifyingly sickening sight again making your heart sink.

It wasn’t a hallucination. You weren’t hallucinating. It was real.

The realization finally dawns on you as you start to feel a growing pool inside your stomach, making you nauseous. Tears welling up in your eyes, mouth trembling as you finally lifted your feet away from the ground you've been frozen on for what seems like eternity.

Loud and rush steps grow even louder behind you as people start to approach the two unconscious bodies laying on the floor, multiple sounds ringing in your ears with the murmurs and calls of help from people around you.

Quick breaths along with sniffles, you finally let out a gut-wrenching scream,

"No!!"

.

.

- to be continued -

🖋️a/n: comment or ask me if you want to be added in the permanent taglist!

🥀TAGLIST: @heeseungie77 , @lyzzie8 , @nyfwyeonjun

|> YANDERE SERIES: ENHYPEN (PT. 1)

|> secondary blog: @llyzblog

[jeonfiles]

once more to see you | kth 01

pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin

genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love

synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.

warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member

music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out

a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise

"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"

Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.

You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.

"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,

"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.

"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.

You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.

"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.

"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.

He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.

"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.

"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.

Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.

Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.

Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.

You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.

When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.

"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.

"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"

Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.

"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.

You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.

"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."

The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.

You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.

Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm

Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off

Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm

taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious

but fr where are you

Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm

doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn

doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo

taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on

Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm

class just ended i'll wait out back

Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.

This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.

"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.

"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."

You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.

Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.

You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.

Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.

You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.

After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.

"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.

"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.

It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.

Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.

No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.

You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.

You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.

There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.

"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.

He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.

Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.

Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.

"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"

You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."

"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.

Seokjin's always been a charmer.

You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.

You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.

Unknown: 08:39 am

Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.

Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.

Maybe I could take you out?

I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...

What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?

I really wanna make this right :)

You: 08:43 am

oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...

btw I don't like u like that

Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am

taehyung <3: 08:47 am

Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.

Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.

Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,

Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.

It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.

Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.

When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?

You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.

You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.

Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.

"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.

"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.

"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.

"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.

You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.

You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.

"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.

He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,

"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.

You were screwed.

The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.

You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.

He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.

“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.

“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”

This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.

The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.

Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.

Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.

That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.

How could you ever repay him?

Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.

She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.

“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.

“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.

Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.

“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.

You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.

This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.

The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.

“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?

“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.

“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.

He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.

Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.

Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.

“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.

First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.

Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.

Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.

His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.

join the “once more to see you” taglist

a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3

[vriskadyke]

anyone ever think about how the bad kids all started out with like, no friends

like gorgug canonically didnt have any friends pre-bad kids, riz's only friendship was his fuckin babysitter, kristen might have known people also in the cult but let me tell you, friends you have when you're as trapped as she was Do Not Count, adaine DEFINITELY didnt have friends, fabian's 'friendships'- if he had any- were all most likely not genuine at all- and fig lost all her friends when her horns came in

and then you think about how they all had some kind of trauma or psychological issue coming into their friendship, especially regarding their home lives

fabian's mom was an alcoholic. bill cares a lot about his son but sophomore year makes it very clear just how much his expectations, intentional or not, fucked up fabian, and how bill's expressions of love arent exactly... healthy. like, to me i'd probably place fabian's issue as being closest to parental neglect- yes, both hallariel and bill were present and loved him, but bill especially started out not loving him as an Actual Person ("i thought you were just going to be me. a way for me to live forever"). actually the entirety of family in flames really shows this- bill was not a good parent, and it Really Messed fabian up. hell, bill physically assaults fabian at one point and calls him soft. while fabian is in jail. bill is the root of his issues with toxic masculinity

we know adaine is an abuse and neglect victim, so that goes without saying

i am firmly in the camp that sandra lynn was a good parent to fig (yes, she fucks up during sophomore year, but i think that was Very Complicated and not something she ever intended for fig to have to deal with). but gilear was not a good parent to her. i will point to the very first episode on this. fig says "the look on his face when my horns started growing in didn't look a lot like love". in a later conversation in the same ep, gilear says "i know i said some hurtful things when i first found out". fig fires back with "yeah, you said 'you're no longer a faeth', and guess what, i'm not. i'm just fig now"

and god, how much that must have fucked her up. especially since canonically fig lost all her friends during this time period. How much that must have hurt. i firmly believe that fig's behavior during season 1 re: trying to find her dad is a product of the fact that gilear said that. "i'm not your daughter anymore? fine, ill find a dad who does want me". not to mention that she feels GUILTY for being the product of an affair. she says that she's "the living embodiment of someone betraying gilear". thats so fucking sad. and couple all this with the loss of her friends, a double puberty- tiefling *and* normal (i hc fig as a trans girl so this is especially gutwrenching for her)- and that's enough to fuck up Anyone

sklonda was a wonderful parent to riz and so was pok- i love them both- but just because they were both great parents doesn't mean there's not trauma from the loss of a parent, especially since riz is so young, and he had so little closure. remember, all he knew was that his dad died in a shipwreck. plus, his only friend goes missing and so do a bunch of other girls and he has no answers about what happened. and maybe it's not trauma, but the combination of these two things is definitely a huge emotional weight on him, especially before he met the bad kids!!

and gorgug- like i said, he had no friends growing up. i don't think i can fully explain how much it hurts to have no sympathetic peers growing up- and i had some friends, even if they weren't always the best of friends and even if i couldn't talk to them about everything. gorgug had absolutely no one. not to mention the fact that he grows up in a community where no one looks like him- and wilma and digby were absolutely great parents (the world if all parents were like wilma and digby.....) but that doesn't change the fact that there was a huge gap between him and the rest of the people who surrounded him. and how sad and lonely that must have been. how utterly full of despair

kristen. kristen applebees. i think people forget that her home life wasn't just ultra-religious but a full on fucking cult. she had probably never met anyone outside the cult before going to the academy. the reason she was even allowed to go was probably because coach daybreak worked there and would keep an eye on her. and kristen's a lesbian. and it's canonical that she's a lesbian, yes, but also that the cult was explicitly very homophobic. i firmly, adamantly believe that there was a whole journey between season 1 and 2 where kristen had to grapple with that. tracker brought her to lgbt parties and kristen literally hid in the bathroom because it was so fucking alien and scary to her. 

how full of fear she must have been growing up, expressing herself and immediately being told that it's a sin in the eyes of helio. ESPECIALLY because she was the fucking chosen of helio. she was their pinnacle, the embodiment of everything they stood for. there's so many things that the cult probably did that kristen didn't even bat an eyelid at. the scene in dishing with a demon where she's talking about the harvest festival, kristen talks about adults torturing children with sleep deprivation as if she's talking about a cool summer class she took. gorthalax talks about the harvestmen and kristen doesn't think about cultists in robes hurting people, she thinks of corn ears and pop quizzes and her parents. 

these kids were all so fucked up prior to meeting each other. and yknow what. i think that might be why they all ended up being so close. there's a certain recognition that kids who have Gone Through Shit have for one another. especially if you fight a demon corn glob butthole together.

[anxious2dsimp]

General Dating Headcanons | Sero, Todoroki & Bakugou

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Sero x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Headcanons​

Warnings: Cursing bc Bakugou 🙄 (as if I wasn’t the one who picked him lmao)

Request: :))) hellooooo :D hmmmm may i get general dating headcanons for sero, todoroki, and [insert your favorite character]? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 @smexy-goose

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Hi again!! Omg yes, I’ll gladly write some hcs for the best bois! I had a hard time picking a fave, but since I have written for Kami and Kiri in the last request I decided to go with blasty boy❤️ (Also, I’m trying a new way to post requests, I hope it works!)

Sero Hanta

I feel like Sero is genuinely so fun to date, just like he said in that one dorm episode, he’s always the wild card.

He’s a goofball, so he adores making you laugh and smile as much as he can. I love him omg😭

Will definitely take advantage of his height (he’s among the taller ones in the class) and give you surprise hugs from behind and rest his head on yours.

He’ll also use his quirk on you for everything from pranks to just randomly pulling you to him to give you a quick peck or a hug :’)

He’s pretty standard with PDA, so he won’t go around making out with you in public but he will do little gestures like those <3

In private I feel like he’s definitely cuddly, he’s just so happy to be with you!

He loves having you over at his room to just chill or be in each other’s presence, even if you’re doing stuff individually.

Speaking of, the bakusquad definitely complains about you having privilege in using the hammock in Hanta’s room. 

Denki will whine like; “why does y/n always get to use the hammock? You said it was out of bounds!”

“That’s on pretty privilege, sorry! And you’re just jealous you don’t have a cool s/o like mine,” Sero will say and poke his tongue out from the hammock where you’re swinging togehter :’) 

I’m warning you now, if you had a healthy sleep schedule before going out with him, you can kiss it goodbye.

Sero will absolutely be up till like 3 am sending you memes and tiktoks that remind him of you.

And with him blowing up your phone you’ll most likely end up talking into ungodly hours of the night, the *sleep deprivation* only causing funnier conversations.

Those will end up becoming inside jokes that he’ll bring up to make you laugh while the rest of the class is like ???

That also results in some weird ass nicknames sorry not sorry

So he’ll sometimes call you regular stuff like babe and other times... he’ll call you things like “Bert” (FOR NO REASON??) or “Candied Blood Pumping Organ” instead of sweetheart lmao

Overall you two are just THE chaotic couple (and if you’re not generally that way he will bring out that side of you)

Pranking your classmates? Pranking each other? Random ass adventures? Trying weird food together? Dancing in the kitchen at midnight while sharing late night snacks? By going out with him you said yes to all of the above.

From sneaking out of the dorms for late night food runs to occasionally skipping class to go to the arcade or the beach, you usually can’t go a week without doing something fun togehter.

This one time you two were out with the Bakusquad and y’all stopped by a supermarket to get food. 

So you had to ask Bakugou to buy you something bc you and Sero had to stay outside and just hand him the money.

He was like “tf?? why? Just buy your shit yourselves!” You had to explain you two were banned from the store because Hanta had accidentally crashed a cart he was driving you around in into a display of cereal boxes.

Ah yes, good times.

Todoroki Shoto

I feel like he’ll definitely need a small push when it comes to relationships bc of his past, but once you’re with him he’ll care deeply about you and will try to make you as happy as you make him :’)

I’m begging you, please give this boy some luv and affection!! For the most part you’d probably initiate PDA because he’s too nervous to do it himself

At the beginning he wouldn’t even be comfy cuddling, solely because he’d be afraid of hurting you somehow :(

But once you’ve reassured him he complies, and from then on out you just have to open your arms and he’ll instantly know it’s *cuddle time*

It’a one of his favorite pastimes bc he just feels so safe and loved <3 he also just loves the feeling of you playing with his hair

Luckily you get to do it year round since you cuddle his hot side in the winter and cold side during the summer

I feel like he’s secretly insecure, so the fact that you trust him and love him for who he is makes him feel like he could melt <3

Because of that you’re the only one he truly opens up to and shows his real feelings to, not to mention the only one who can touch his scar

And though he isn’t great with words, one look at him during one of these personal moments when its just you two, and you can just see it in his eyes.

Especially if you kiss his scar, his eyes might even get teary this sweet boy I 😭

That’s also probably why he shares his precious cold soba with you

Since you’ve been together, Shoto has just been so much happier, so his siblings and mother LOVE you.

They’re constantly inviting you over for dinner when Endevour is working (bc he’s a huge buzzkill to say the least), and his mom adores when you come with Shoto to visit her :)

Todoroki really enjoys seeing you get along with the people he cares the most about...

 BUT what he hates is THE EMBARRASING STORIES HIS FAMILY TELLS YOU OMG (you live for them, but I wouldn’t tell him that if I were you)

“Fuyumi remember when Shoto-” “Natsuo, no💙“ your bf will say as he unconsciously squeezes your hand, both of the siblings laughing at Shoto’s glare.

You had to hold in your laughter so hard omg

Though he isn’t that talkative, you guys definitely have that kind of relationship where you two could be silent and still feel completely comfortable (oh I’m so jealous of that but nvm)

He’s definitely observant, so expect the most considerate gifts and the most assertive observations, he’ll always know what you need.

The type of observant that gives you a water bottle before you even notice you’re thristy during training, or switches sides while walking so you loop your arm with his on his warm side when you’re cold.

Also the type to gift you that one thing you really wanted but mentioned once like months ago along with your favorite snacks/drink (you best believe he has them all memorized bc he’s just that attentive)

Over all, just a really soothing relationship were you can be comfortable with each other and feel at home when you’re together.

Bakugou Katsuki

Ok so, I feel like you’d be a competitive couple, turning anything into a competition in an endearingly annoying way.

You’re definitely the type of couple to go to laser tag, an escape room, an arcade, etc, as dates >:) but the competitions don’t end there:

Who can plan the best date? Who can make the other blush first? Who can get the other the better gift? Who’s the better kisser? Who gets the higher score in class? Or wins at sparring?

Especially when it comes to productive stuff like training or academics, although he won’t admit it, he’s just pushing you to be your best because he knows how amazing you are :’)

All the bakusquad knows about your shenanigans and at this point they’ve learnt to stay out of it & go get the Advil just in case bless their souls lmao

I’m sorry but he definitely calls you nicknames that purposely piss you off (with no ill intentions ofc), like “gremlin”, “dumbass” or “booger”

I suggest you also call him stuff like that back, like “angry pom” or “blasty” to get on his nerves >:)

You guys also definitely friendly bicker all the time, knowing that you take it lightly (though strangers won’t, resulting in some hilariously awkward situations)

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he’ll say rolling his eyes as he messes up your hair.

Just watch his smirk dissapears when you reply, “no, u❤️″ It gets on his nerves, I just know it.

So he’ll chase you around as you call each other random stuff. While the other people at the convenience store are just like  👁👄👁

He never means it tho, keep in mind if you’re dating the self proclaimed future no. 1 hero he thinks highly of you :)

So he’d definitely be protective while simultaneously showing you off <3

Will always greet you with a kiss and keep his hand on your back or waist so ppl know you’re with him

RIP anyone who tries to hurt or flirt with you, I say try bc Bakugou will be exploding them even before they get the chance😅

Denki’s definitely almost gotten his brows blown off his face bc of that lol

Speaking of, the bakusquad still can’t get over the fact that THE lord explosion murder has a soft spot for you,

You mean you take care of his injuries, scold him when he burns himself out, touch his hair, and hug him when his moody... and you DON’T get cussed out and blown up? Shooketh

However they don’t see what happens behind closed doors, & how you’ve helped him with all the trauma he has experienced

You’re the only one who he is vulnerable with, you’ve seen him cry and he tells you about his nightmares and fears

You do the same with him, and you promise each other to get through anything together, which you’ve done so far :’)

Bc of that his parents love you, and his mom’s always going on about how she’s so glad you “stand” his son😂

Why can’t he be real ughhh

[orionsangel86]

SPN Conspiracies - Applying Logic to Chaos

Its been over 2 months now since the Supernatural finale aired. I am still so angry, hurt, and confused by it and I don’t think I will ever get closure unless someone like Andrew Dabb, or Jensen Ackles, actually opens up and gives us an explanation that makes sense.

What annoys me most right now is people trying to gaslight fans into believing that we should accept the narrative we have been given at face value: That the finale was always planned to be that way, that Destiel was never on the cards, that there was no Network interference, that the only changes made were due to covid and were minor at best.

This harmful gaslighting is FALSE.

NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Look, I don’t agree with some of the crazier conspiracy theories. I don’t believe that there was some huge campaign among the CW Network execs to remove anything remotely gay out of homophobia. I don’t believe that the finale was changed because of some desire to make it into a Walker promo. I don’t believe that the finale was really bad on purpose in protest by Dabb for not getting to do an ending he truly wanted. I don’t believe that Dabb left us smart fans a bunch of secret messages in the finale to hint that he was on our side all along and that everything was fake.

I do, however, believe that all of these conspiracy theories have some elements in them that are plausible. At least, more plausible than the bullshit narrative mentioned above that some people are pushing in some desperate attempt to defend the Network (which imo is really strange behaviour anyway - why would anyone care about a TV network with a history of terrible behaviour?!?)

We have facts, based on information provided before the covid lockdown, which for some reason, people like Misha have since backpeddled on. So let me try to outline some of the information that makes no sense.

Below the cut I go on a deep dive into the conspiracies and statements I have heard about the SPN finale and try to make some sense of this whole fucked up situation. It gets long.

1. “Cas was never gonna be in the finale”.

False: We have many fan accounts of Misha confirming that he was filming the finale. We have video evidence of Misha confirming he was going back to film the finale after the lockdown. We have confirmation from fans in Misha M&Gs from March that he had about 5 days of filming left.

We also had fan accounts of discussions with Alex Calvert (I think) where he confirmed the final shot of the final episode was all four of them though I would LOVE if someone can find a source for this.

2. Okay, Misha was gonna be in the finale, but only as Jimmy Novak

False: I heavily side eyed Misha when he said this. But I think I can come up with a plausible explanation for it. Per above, Misha was supposed to film for 5 days. This does not align with the half a day he described of filming as Jimmy Novak. My own belief is that after Cas was cut from the finale (for whatever reason we don’t know) someone (probably Jensen Ackles) put up a fight and complained that Misha should be there for the final episode. The writers probably tried to come up with a way to bring Misha back without having to deal with Cas, and pitched the idea of Jimmy Novak being in Heaven. Misha, obviously annoyed about this, turned this stupid pitch down.

3. Destiel was never a thing, never planned, never part of Dabb’s ending. Bobo and Misha pushing the confession was the part of the season that was Wrong.

False: We have a SPN writer on record saying that Castiel’s confession was the first thing written for Season 15 when the writers returned to the writers room. If it wasn’t planned, why was it the first thing written, why does it align so well with the rest of season 15? Look I know some people either a. hate destiel and refuse to see it even if it slaps them in the face, or b. have major heteronormative goggles on, or c. are just homophobes in denial, but 15x18 fits in perfectly with the narrative of season 15. Everything Cas says, everything that happened in that scene was so in character it just works. It fit. If you just rewatch the season whilst applying some critical thinking skills and pay attention to the narrative and character arcs, trust me, the confession fits in with pretty much every other plot point, and character story in the season.

Also: We have known for a while that the network did market research into Destiel, wanting to know if it would go down well or not. They were well aware of its popularity and considering it. Where would this have come from if not pitched by the showrunner? Dabb must have at least been considering it. If you take all of Dabb era into consideration, starting with mid season 11, all the way through the season 12 build up, season 13 grief arc, and then Bobo’s Destiel break up arc in late season 14, early season 15, it is clear that there was some toing and froing on the issue of Destiel, but ultimately, I still believe that Dabb was on board. He wrote 13x01 for christs sake. No way he wasn’t taking it seriously.

 4. It’s always been about the brothers. The finale just stays true to what Supernatural is all about.

*rubs temples* Fundamentally FALSE: The show has time and again reasserted the message of “Family don’t end with blood”, as well as the messages of AKF and YANA. Sam and Dean may be at the heart of the show, but a heart can’t exist without a body to support it. Without bones, and lungs, and blood, and muscles, and a BRAIN. The finale abandons the shows core messages. It forces the characters back into their season 1 characterisations and the whole thing becomes hollow and souless. But I’m not here to complain, I’m here to lay down the facts. Dean’s heaven was supposed to be surrounded by loved ones right? We know OG Charlie Bradbury was gonna be in his Heaven, we also know CAS was gonna be in there. So this idea that the finale as it currently stands was how it was meant to be is wrong. Dean was supposed to die and reunite with his found family and loved ones. This alone would have been a far better ending than the one given. Do I think this was solely a covid issue? Fuck no.

The randoms that WERE in the finale are proof alone that they could have got people in and quarantined. We also have several actors on record saying that they WOULD have quarantined for the finale had they been asked to return but they WEREN’T.

Lies have been told. Samantha Ferris and Chad Limberg have confirmed that we have been lied to about the original plans for the finale.

This alone is proof enough that there is more plausibility in some of the conspiracy theories than any bullshit narrative some people are pushing in defence of the barbaric mess of a finale we were given.

So lets address some of the conspiracy theories now:

Conspiracy No.1: The CW Network reviewed Supernatural during the covid break, and due to homophobia, refused any Destiel arc that wasn’t already filmed, shut down any potential reciprocation from Dean, and forced Dabb to change his finale.

I don’t think this is entirely what happened. But I do think it is very strange how there is a such a huge disconnect particularly in Dean’s characterisations between what had come before the lockdown, and what came after. The one fact we have here, and please someone provide a source if you can find it because I know there is one, the finale script was still going through changes up to only 2 weeks before it was filmed. We know that there was some weird editing in 15x18 (which was still in post and uncompleted before lockdown) and we know from Jensen’s own mouth that there was more to the confession scene on Dean’s side that was cut. We also know that this isn’t the first time that Destiel heavy moments have been changed in post - the prayer scene is another big scene that went through a lot of changes and Bobo fought to have his script play out the way he wanted it.

There are certain things that in my own opinions, are basically true of SPN which I have put together from years of keeping one eye on the writers room, the network, and all the various comments made. My opinion is this:

The writers room has always been split on Destiel. Some writers heavily supported making it canon, others did not care, or were against it.

The Network considered it over the course of several years, did market research, green lit it, then changed their minds, possibly several times over the course of Dabb’s era. Destiel was pitched to the Network early in Dabb era.

The crew on set were also split. Some people heavily supported it, and worked to assist the reading, whereas others did not care/did not support it. The same can be said for the editing room.

Bob Singer supported the subtextual homoeroticism, but never supported bringing it into text (this is an opinion, but I think it aligns with everything we know about him.) IMO Bob Singer also supported subtextual homoeroticism between Sam and Dean - the guy is gross is what I’m saying. He isn’t exactly a progressive person.

Fun fact - a while back our old enemy Sera Gamble went on a Twitter rant about writers rooms and the ways a script goes through changes. I don’t think this was in relation to the SPN finale wank but she basically inadvertantly confirmed that the Network can step in and make sweeping changes to a script if they want to and if they decide they don’t like the direction of a story. Sera Gamble confirmed this as a fact.

Now. I’m not saying that this is what the CW did with Destiel. I just think its very strange how pre lockdown, the last thing filmed is a heartfelt homosexual declaration of love between Dean and Cas, and we have a finale script that Misha had not seen, but knew that he was meant to film as Castiel for 5 days (5 days on set is over half of an episode as far as I know). Then all of a sudden, Covid happens, and Cas is cut from the finale completely, a desperate attempt to bring Misha back only as Jimmy Novak takes place, which Misha rightly refuses, leading to a finale which makes zero sense narratively and appears in every way completely and utterly butchered.

The only explanation provided by anyone involved is that Covid meant changes had to happen - but that covid didn’t change the actual story at all.

But this makes no sense because we know that Cas was cut from the finale. This is FACT. Do not let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. Misha was preparing to quaranting to return to set as Cas post Covid, so whatever happened to cut Cas from the finale, it wasn’t Covid.

I’m gonna have to Occum’s Razor this and say that the most logical explanation here is the one that is most likely true. Someone got cold feet with the Destiel story, and to prevent any possible interpretation that included Dean reciprocating, any hints of Destiel were removed from the finale script, including Castiel’s whole appearance.

Now, this isn’t me saying I think that Dabb’s original finale was full of Destiel love confessions and a homosexual kiss or whatever, but I am asking you all to really think about it and ask yourselves WHY Cas would have been totally cut from an episode he was supposed to be in at LEAST half of? 

We will probably never know the real reason Cas was cut, but he WAS cut. I’m not saying it was all homophobia, but some fuckery went down.

Conspiracy No. 2: The CW Network changed the finale to make it into a Walker promo because they only cared about raising up Jared and not Jensen and Misha as they were losing them anyway.

I don’t agree with this in terms of the finale being butchered solely to make it into a Walker promo. There are however moments in the finale that are clearly supposed to be Walker Easter Eggs and added to excite fans of Jared/Sam in particular such as Sam’s gratuitous and unnecessary topless scene, as well as the call on the “case in Austin”.

I will take this moment to say something pretty damn controversial though.

*Deep breath*

The fact is, Dean Winchester has been the “lead” character of Supernatural’s narrative for years now, with Sam often being sidelined and not given great storylines himself. Even in Season 15, right up until the finale, I myself felt bad for Sam sometimes because so much of this show has become all about Dean. Jensen Ackles is clearly the better actor when it comes to emotional story arcs, so the emotional heart of the story has most often leant on him.

So you can understand my confusion, when this is turned on its head in the final episode, to make Sam carry all the emotional weight, and have the most lines/screentime, and story resolution (even if his story resolution was just as crappy as Dean’s).

If we pretend that Destiel is not a thing, and ignore Cas’s confession, the story change in the finale from Dean focus to Sam focus is still rather suspicious. Again, I’m not saying I completely approve of or agree to the conspiracy theory that Walker influenced the butchering of the script, but I can believe that perhaps a note went down from the CW to someone like Bob Singer, to emphasise Sam/Jared more than they perhaps would normally, because the CW wanted to shine the spotlight on Jared to raise excitement for Walker.

I can also believe this note might have said something like “we wanna cater to fans of Sam/Jared the most - don’t do anything to piss them off.” but now I am getting into my own conspiracy theories so by all means dismiss this as me being bitter.

Conspiracy No.3: Dabb purposely made it bad, as a secret message to Destiel fans that he had been silenced, by layering meta clues into the episode that he knew fans would notice.

I doubt this one is true. Though some of the theories are quite compelling. The old vampire silent movie theory for instance starts off quite well, but loses me the moment it brings up Urban Dictionary slang.

Sometimes I have just had to accept that Supernatural is a bad show that is sometimes accidentally a masterpiece. However, some writers really did go That Deep with their stories - anything by Ben Edlund or Steve Yockey for instance, their episodes are meta masterpieces with a hundred different layers of beautiful subtextual storytelling and are a joy to analyse. Bobo Berens has certainly done some A+++ work especially now we KNOW that he was working hard all this time to bring Destiel to canon text (so any analysis of Destiel in the subtext in his episodes is very accurate). There have been many other key elements analysed over the years which have been confirmed true. Cas’s death in Season 12, Dean’s time as a demon in season 10, Season 11 ending in unity of dark and light, these were all plot points predicted by meta writers just by analysing the narrative. Sometimes the writers really have been very smart and they do add things to the show to aid us in our meta.

Richard Speight Jr for instance, confirmed that SPN has a visual library that the production team use to give clues and hints in the narrative. Pizza, for example, always means a lie has been told. Whenever Pizza is being eaten or even just mentioned on screen, there is dishonesty in that particular moment.

The beers also have a very specific message and the one thing I can’t let go about the finale, was that Dean was drinking El Sol beer. The beer his dad gave him, that was terrible.

El Sol has been used in the show to indicate something being wrong, a fake reality, or another lie, for the longest time. It is the beer of deception.

The fact that in the final episode of this entire show, Dean is in Heaven, supposedly at peace, and then he gets handed an El Sol beer to drink? Thats a HUGE red flag for any meta writer watching who can read SPNs visual library.

If they had given him the Margiekugel beer of family then it would make sense. Dean is in Heaven, with Bobby, his family, at peace. Margiekugel should have been the beer of choice. But nope. El Sol. Something is wrong.

I don’t know if it was Dabb, or Singer, or some disgruntled ADs and crew members who added these elements into the finale, but their very presence confirms some message of Wrongness.

I could go into a huge rant about Vampire Mimes not making sense and the very glaringly obvious symbolism of cutting out peoples tongues too, but that is high school level film analysis. It’s obvious. It means to silence someone. There is validity in interpreting this as Dabb saying he was silenced. I don’t know how true it is, but i can’t 100% dismiss it, because as I said, this is high school analysis levels of obvious subtextual storytelling.

So in summary, whilst I don’t think that Dabb intentionally went out of his way to sabotage his own script, and leave a breadtrail of secret messages for savvy fans to put together to confirm that he was silenced by an evil network into not getting what he wanted... I do think that there is validity in questioning these odd choices for the finale. Cutting out tongues? Vampire Mimes? El Sol beer?

The evidence is somewhat compelling is all I’m saying. I don’t believe the full conspiracy theories, but as I have said many times before, some fuckery went down.

So What Do I Believe?

That some fuckery went down and whatever company line they are pushing is bullshit.

I believe that the original script included Cas (since thats fact). I believe that the original script probably always had Dean dying on a vampire hunt (due to Jensen’s issues with it and in particular, his sarcastic comments about vampires in the past year or so which in hindsight are hilarious and prove he never really came to terms with Dean’s idiotic death). I believe Dabb’s original script was some less crappy version of what we got, which potentially included showing Jack rescuing Cas from the Empty and resolving the outstanding Empty plot points (potentially this was actually a 15x19 plot since Mark P commented that his final scenes were supposed to be with Jack and Cas), had Cas reunite with Dean in Heaven and had them have a discussion about Cas’s confession. I believe that there was probably a lot of back and forth over how to handle that with some people wanting Dean to obviously reciprocate and others believing they should keep it ambiguous. I believe that Dean and Cas would have reunited with Charlie Bradbury, and Bobby Singer, and possibly others (though if this was the case it must have been very early on since no one ever looped in Sam Ferris, Chad Linberg or any other Roadhouse people).

I believe that Sam’s ending probably didn’t change much, but I do feel that initially they were planning on him ending up with Eileen, because it is the only thing that narratively makes sense. Cutting Eileen and giving him a blurry wife is something I won’t ever understand and Jared’s bullshit explanations are quite clearly pulled out of his ass to appease bronly types. I believe the reunion on the bridge would have included Cas and Jack, with a final shot of all four of them together, at peace (as this aligns with Alex’s comments from around a year or so ago that the final shot was all four of them). (I also am not sure it was always supposed to be on a bridge since the foreshadowing in an earlier episode showed Dean, Cas and Sam all in the Roadhouse together).

I believe that script went through countless changes and redrafts, and not even production people or the types that some fandom people claim as their “sources” would even have seen those early scripts, since even Misha never saw it. I believe that these rumours of Dabb never having Cas in his finale and ignoring all Destiel elements likely come from people who only saw later versions, weren’t party to network discussions and felt bitter about the final scripts they did see (being the crappy butchered one that was ultimately filmed). Those “sources” are now spreading rumours to discredit Dabb.

I obviously believe Dabb is a weak ass pushover who either didn’t care enough to fight back, or gave up since he’s been stuck with fucking Bob Singer on his back for years, but I will NEVER believe he didn’t care about the DeanCas love story, because he has been one of the few writers who has championed for it for years. You can’t look back at Dabb’s episodes in earlier seasons and claim he didn’t care. Dabb was a writer whose creative ideas were beaten out of him by an unforgiving Network only concerned about where their future money was coming from. Do I think he gave up too easily? Yes. But I also have one other huge reason for not believing the bullshit about Dabb being this anti-Destiel villain.

Bobo. Because if Bobo truly believed Dabb was gonna fuck that up at the end, I don’t think he would have given us Cas’s love confession to begin with. If he had known it was gonna end like that, I think he would have reconsidered, because had Cas not confessed his love, I don’t think he would have been cut from the finale. Bobo - a gay man, would not have wanted such a horrible message for queer fans being put across in the show he worked so hard on. He started writing that confession scene the day they returned to the writers room. Dabb would have been there, would have seen what he was writing, probably discussed it with him, after all, other episodes were written with the confession in mind. No way was Dabb planning to fuck up the ending knowing what Bobo was giving us. Nope.

Something went very wrong over lockdown. Someone, somewhere up the chain of power caught wind of the confession scene in 15x18, realised that it demanded a resolution which would make Dean Winchester, their protagonist, queer, and pulled the plug. I believe this did not come from a place of homophobia, but of bad business sense.

The CW is constantly trying to win the approval and attention of the one demo group that they seem to fail at getting the most: young straight men. Supernatural was one of their only remaining shows that appeals to young straight men, and Dean Winchester is more often than not the fave character of those young straight men who project onto him. Making Dean Winchester, established Han Solo of Supernatural, queer and in love with his best friend in the finale would have come across as a betrayal to those young straight men. The CW probably feared they would lose that demo group for good, and with a show like Walker starting soon with Jared at the helm, they couldn’t take the risk.

Hence there was probably a whole bunch of back and forth script redrafts with the Network, with Dabb and Singer fighting to make a finale that would appeal to everyone. There was most likely no way that they could bring Cas back without addressing what had already been filmed, because any resolution of that plot would either a. make Dean queer, or b. address it awkwardly by having Dean reject Cas (this storyline would probably have been slammed by critics worse than the finale because it meant addressing it. It might have got the attention of LGBTQ activist groups and caused a bigger shitstorm than what we got). The best option was therefore C. Bury it and Cas, pretend it never happened. Never address it again and distract Dean with other things. Hope that Destiel fans will accept no answer from Dean as ambiguous enough to imagine a future reunion rather than shutting it down with a rejection, and still keep hold of the blissfully ignorant heteronormative straight boys so they can carry over to Walker when it starts.

I also believe (controversially probably) that there was concern that any resolution of Dean and Cas would have overshadowed network darling Jared Padalecki. If Dean and Cas had come together in the finale, with a very clearly textual homosexual reunion, then that would have been all anyone talked about. The reviewers, the critics, the audience, everyone. It would have been nothing but Dean and Cas (and look, if they did think this, they were right, Destiel trending over the US ELECTION.)

So what is the network to do, when they are losing the two stars who would get the most attention from this storyline? The one star they were holding on to and getting his own show, relegated to third place in the finale of the show where he was first on the call sheet? Nope. That’s pretty unacceptable. Even without Walker I can imagine people at all levels side eyeing the Destiel thing over the years. This IS a show about two brothers, and their relationship should be the core relationship, we can’t have one brother pushed aside in the finale to make way for a queer relationship that will get all the attention instead. It was never gonna get approved for this reason ALONE.

At the end of the day, if I look at it from a business perspective, it makes far more sense that the CW shut down Destiel, rather than “oh Dabb never cared and ruined it because he’s an idiot.” The writers cared, and had built on that story over years. But their mistake was leaving any Destiel resolution to the finale. If they had instead gone and got Dean and Cas together in early season 15, then they could have ended it in a way that satisfied everyone. Destiel wouldn’t have threatened pulling focus away from Sam and Dean, and the show could have gone out on a high.

When I lay out all the conspiracy theories, and line them up next to the cold hard facts, the conspiracy theories in some way or another, make more sense. To believe the company line, the narrative we have been fed, is to ignore your own eyes, ears, and memories pre March 2020.

All I’m asking people to do is take a look at the show, the narrative presented in the show, and the information presented above. I’m not telling you to believe what I’ve written here, half of which is just my own opinion. I’m asking you to ask yourselves if it makes sense to you. Because it sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied.

[cocochannel00]

The Azoff Family: A Case Study on one of the Music Industry’s Most Connected Families

(ft. a breakdown of the Grammy voting process and problems)

This is very long so I will try and split it up into categories for everyone (sorry I got carried away- I spent like 2 hours writing this) but enjoy!

*Disclaimer: I want to preface while the majority of this is based in research, some parts may be speculation. I don’t know the family personally so I can’t tell you what goes on behind closed doors but I can tell you how parts of the entertainment/music industry work. I’ve had 5 internships in the industry (one in marketing at one of the big record labels) and the rest of my work is publicity (what I enjoy) and events and a former advisor used to run in the same circles as Irving Azoff (and he spilled some tea last year) I’m not out here to diminish the hard work of any artists or their teams, I’m simply here to showcase parts of the industry that aren’t always shown.*

Please also see: Story Time: How Fan Pages Directly Impact Columbia Records Decisions and Harry Styles Image

IRVING AZOFF: NEVER STOP THE GRIND

Let’s begin with the great business man himself Mr. Irving Azoff Irving Azoff is the literal posture child for connections and power in the music industry (he was also inducted into the 2020 rock and roll hall of fame class which is like a huge fucking deal for a manager to be inducted so you know he's the real deal)

In conclusion, I love Irving Azoff and his drive.

Irving Azoff: Early Years Run Down:

He came up middle class (dad was a pharmacist, mom a bookkeeper) in Danville, Illinois

He dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and managed local acts in the era

Opportunity came knocking and he got the chance to manage the Eagles and the rest is history

He's one of the best negotiators and has negotiated business on behalf of stars like Stevie Nicks, the Eagles, and Jimmy Buffet

Azoff has been an incredible manager and his drive to always advocate for his clients while basically not giving two sh*ts about what people think of him has gotten him the incredible reputation he has today.

All of Irving Azoff’s Major Job Positions:

Former President MCA (major label)

Former CEO of Ticketmaster and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation.

In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment (Currently still CEO)

----> Azoff also ran the Forum in Inglewood under Azoff MSG Entertainment after MSG purchased it in 2012 (it was sold in 2020 to the owner of the Clippers) — why do you think Harry played the forum for the Fine Line show? Azoff connection

Azoff MSG Entertainment encompasses all of the other companies including Full Stop Management, Global Music Rights (performance-rights org), and the Oak View Group (arena developing company)

He also is the co-founder and manager of the lobbying group Music Artists Coalition, a group that helps lobby for artists-rights issues such as royalty rates, copyright issue and healthcare insurance (see he's not all bad)

Essentially what I'm getting at is this man knows anybody who's anybody. He's the man you want on your team to help promote your music, plan your tour, and get you on that Grammy nom list.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

JEFFREY AZOFF: THE CHILD OF NEPOTISM

So for those of you that don't know, Jeffery Azoff is Harry's current manager and the son of Irving Azoff (the third of four kids). He's currently a partner at Full Stop Management, the company owned by Irving and the one artists such as Harry, Haim, the Eagles, Kings of Leon, and Meghan Trainer are signed to.

Jeffrey graduated from the University of Colorado's Leeds School of Business and started working fresh out of college at his father's old Management company (Frontline Management) working under Maroon 5's manager Jordan Feldstein (the only way you get that kind of internship/job as a 21 year old fresh out of college is if your family or family friends gives it to you). He worked here for 5 years.

Direct Quote from Irving Azoff to Jeffrey (really tells you a lot): "Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son."

After working for his father, Jeffrey moved on to the talent agency CAA (Creative Artist Agency) where he worked for roughly 3 and half years before joining his dad in forming Full Stop Management in 2016.

While he was at CAA, Irving moved over clients like Christina Aguilera and the Eagles to the talent agency to help with tour booking instead of doing it internally through LiveNation (he was CEO).

Even though I'm sure Jeff has had to work somewhat hard to get to where he is (or at least to mess up his dad's work as he doesn't seem like the type to take laziness well), the door into the industry and every job was basically handed to him on a silver platter.

Not to mention if you watch episodes of keeping up with the  kardashians (like myself) you can actually see Jeff hanging out with kendall and the rest of the fam at their Palm Springs house (you know you're a nepotism kid if you have an in with the Kardashian crew). Invite me next time Jeffrey!!!

Think of the Azoff's as the mafia family of the music industry, you don't mess with the mafia

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE GRAMMY AWARDS: STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS ON STEROIDS

Ok so here's where we’re going to get into a bit more of the speculation/grey area. I don't need to tell you that award shows are corrupt (See the Golden Globes Emily in Paris scandal) and the Grammys are not an exception. Think of the Grammys as one big student council/government elections where despite the fact the teachers tell you six times to vote for the best candidate, you're still going to vote for your friends even if they aren't the best.

A simplified break-down of Grammy voting:

1) Recording Academy voting members (artists, producers, musicians- anyone involved first hand with the creation of music; All voting members must have been producers, performers or engineers on six or more tracks of a commercially released album (or 12 or more digital tracks) and record labels will submit nominations in various categories to the grammys (songs need to be released commercially between October 1 of the previous year and September 30th of this year). You can also become a voting member by either winning a grammy or being endorsed by a current voting member (hint hint)

2) Once received, the recording academy with have the academy of trustees and its reviewers organize them and approve any changes to the 30 categories/fields (aka they can add new categories or remove old ones; so no best ukulele album of the year -- this is where things get funky)

There's speculation that during this stage when these special groups of 8-10 people are organizing genres, there's an "unwritten rule" that you need to be careful what album you green light (especially for famous artists) if you don't want them to win) (Rob Kenner said this- he used to be on one of these committees). Famous people tend to get more votes from clueless or lay Academy members that don't know the specialized categories or don't care enough to listen to songs that aren't radio trending.

3) After the nominations occur, Voting members begin their first voting. Members can vote for the four general categories of record of the year, album of the year, song of the year and best new artist and a maximum of 15 categories, all within their areas of expertise. Now the interesting thing is that while these are the guidelines there is literally nothing stopping them from voting in whatever categories they want (i.g. a rapper voting in the opera category despite not listening to opera). Theses ballots are all tallied and the top 20 entries are determined in each category (funky moment #2)

In 12 of the 84 categories those top 20 go to the ballot and it's done; for the rest it’s not like that. 59 categories including the big four go to a "nomination review committees" (identities are protected so they can't get lobbied... sure) who take a look at the top 20 and narrow it down to 7 or 8. (these are the special committees the Weekend talked about when he was snubbed). They're supposed to choose the nominees "based solely on the artistic and technical merits of the eligible recordings" which lets be real if that was the case Watermelon Sugar (along with most of the others in the category) I don't think would have been nomimated as they are very generic pop (none of them are special... sorry to the WM lovers out there).

This committee is basically held to THE HONOR CODE SYSTEM... I mean tell me when the last time the honor code system worked in literally any scenario (literally wtf). Don't take my word for it though the former CEO of the Academy Deborah Dugan (a queen) filed a complaint against the Recording Academy basically claiming that the nomination review process was rigged (she was fired after 5 months on the job).

Quote from Deborah Dugan "Members of the board [of trustees] and the secret committees chose artists with whom they have personal or business relationships... It is not unusual for artists who have relationships with Board members and who ranked at the bottom of the initial 20-artist list to end up receiving nominations."

These review committees can also exploit there power by adding up to two nominees that don't appear on the top 20 list to the final voting ballot (except in the 4 big categories - which watermelon sugar that one wasn't nominated for)

They also have craft committees for like non performance stuff (like album notes, engineering and arranging) that don't even get voted on by the academy voting members

4) After all of that fucked up mess, the grammy's decided is ok, the ballots go back to the voting members for the final vote. Deloitte (an accounting firm) then counts all of them, seals them in envelopes, and delivers them to the Grammy award show.

** The Grammy's just announced this year they're removing the "secret committees" so let's see how things shift in the next couple of years**

So obviously I'm not saying this to discredit Harry's nomination or his win as Fine Line was in the US top 20 albums for the majority of 2020, however, we must acknowledge privilege. Harry has a big name to him and a huge following, and while all of that shouldn't be taken into account, it does. He also has the Azoffs, a very well connected family with friends in lots of places that would be able to put in a good word here and there to get support behind Harry. Harry won best pop solo performance for Watermelon Sugar in a category with Doja Cat, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, and Dua Lipa. Look at the names there, the songs (ya'll can try and remember them cause I'm too lazy to write it out) and tell me that those top names with all of the music produced didn't get there through some connections.

Do with all this information what you will and if you are interested in learning more about the entertainment industry on your own Endeavor (owners of WME, a big talent agency like CAA) is hosting a free online program called the Excellence Program to help guide the future generation of industry executives. The program is a-synchronous and starts on July 12th. Highly recommend giving it a go if you're interested!!!

Alright ya'll that's it. Feel free to message me with your thoughts!

Extra Sources if you'd like to read:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkdndn/how-grammys-voting-actually-works-and-where-the-alleged-corruption-lies

https://www.grammy.com/grammys/awards/voting-process

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2020-11-05/irving-azoff-eagles-manager

https://celebrityaccess.com/caarchive/jeffrey-azoff-exits-caa-to-launch-new-management-company/

https://www.rollingstone.com/pro/features/grammy-awards-secret-committees-945532/

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grammy-awards-eliminate-secret-committees-voting-changes-1163887/