#i know how selfish that thought is but I've been taking care of someone else my entire life.

[i-write-sin-not-tragedy]

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[wonderwomanfantasy]

okay but imagine a jealous Miguel who's been absolutely obsessed with you but was to scared to say anything. One day he comes over to your house to tell you how he feels about you but he notices you're wearing an old hoodie from your ex(who you obviously don't care about because you've been madly in love with mig) and he just goes feral and rips it off you, he says sm nasty possessive shit while he fucks you in full nelson✋ I'm sorry I've just had brain rot over this man and saw your asks abt him

oh baby I'm obsessed. this is nasty so it's going under the cut ^^

Miguel is 100% the type of guy who will refuse to admit he has feelings for you while everyone else knows. Yeah, he brings you coffee almost every morning, it is not to see you smile he just uh… made extra? He likes it when you rely on him, he likes being your hero even if he’s just buying you pads. He’s touchy too, when he passes behind you he puts his hand on your lower back even if he has plenty of room, or wraps his arm around your waist while the two of you are in a crowded place together so he doesn’t lose you. God speaking of crowded places if the two of you are ever in a loud place trying to talk he’ll lean in close so he can hear you speak and if his proximity makes you flustered, all the better.

 Miguel knows deep in his heart that it’s wrong how jealous gets, and realistically if you two were just dating he’d be able to just chill the fuck out but since you aren’t he can’t help but worry that someone else will catch your eye while he’s busy working out how he feels for you and wondering if he’s selfish enough to pull you into his dangerous world like that. The realization that you’re already in too deep makes his stomach churn. Even if you’re not dating you’re easily the person he’s closest to, everyone in the multiverse knows about his weak spot for you… if there's danger you’re already in it, if he really loved you he wouldn’t just keep you at arm's length, he’d cut you out of his life completely.

It’s a surprise when Miguel stops by. You’ve told him a thousand times that your home is open to him anytime but he always at least calls beforehand. Not this time. You can tell right away that something is off, he doesn’t hug you when he comes in and he’s got this weird look on his face like something eating at him but he won’t say what's up.

Miguel really did come over with intentions to tell you that he can’t spend time with you anymore, that it was too risky and too painful… then he sees the goddamn hoodie you’re wearing. And he recognizes it. He knows in that moment that he isn’t going to leave you, he isn’t going to let you go and let some other man have you. You are his, in this universe and in every other. 

“Is that your ex’s?” you’re a little tripped up by the suddenness of the question, and before you can answer it he’s looming over you, one of his clawed fingers hooked in the collar of the garment.

“Are you thinking about him again or what?” Miguel demands of you and really he doesn’t even care to hear the answer. “I could treat you better, why don’t you fill your pretty little head with thoughts of only me?” as if at that moment you could think of anything else. Not with his pretty eyes looking at you like that. Not with his big sharp fangs biting and ripping your clothes off of you. All you can think about is him. 

You’ve never been scared of Miguel, not the way other people were, but at that moment when you see the hungry look in his eyes all you can think is “god he’s going to eat me alive” and it sends a shiver down your spine. 

He carries you like you weigh nothing to him. And honestly, you’ve seen this man bench press a minivan, you probably don’t weigh anything to him. Miguel holds you in front of a mirror and makes you watch as he presses his big dick into you and uses your body like a fleshlight.

“See that? See how good you take me?” he whispers into your ear “You’re mine now, no one else gets to fuck you, no one else gets to hear the sweet noises you make, just me.” he says while bitting your neck

He has your legs over his arms and he really is just bouncing you up and down on his dick, he pushes your head down and makes you watch as he pushes into you for the first time before he pulls your head back to look at yourself in the mirror. 

“Wanted to fuck you like this for so long, now that I’ve got you here I don’t think I’m ever going to stop,”

And he doesn’t stop. Not until a mix of his cum and yours is dripping down his thighs and your legs are twitching. When he finally pulls out he scolds you for not keeping his cum inside of you and pushes the mess back into you with his fingers. 

He asks if you feel empty without him nine inches deep in you (you do) he asks if any other cock could ever make you feel full again (not likely) he asks if you’ll forgive him for being so rough with you, and if you’ll let him do it again.

[fluideli123]

I've watched the DP&W movie twice in theaters and three plus times on a pirated site, and I wanted to grant my analysis on Wade and Logan's relationship that not only respects Vanessa--because Vanessa was literally Wade's Soulmate until shit hit the fan and you can pry that fact from my cold dead hands. But also explains how Logan and Wade actually represent a a-spec experience and relationship that I feel like no one has really gotten into. Am I saying they're a-spec? No. But that doesn't mean queer relationships that are fairly normal in a-spec spaces doesn't mean they don't exist outside of them as well.

First of all, the only two reasons I believe Vanessa and Wade broke up was 1) Wade went back in time to save Vanessa and he told her after his usual routine of jokes and lies and 2) Wade finally believed he could be something more, a hero, only to be turned down by the people who are known for their heroism, leaving him lost.

I genuinely believe Vanessa had a hard time taking in that knowledge, but knowing Wade and everything they've been through she would get through that like the badass she is and work through it using her plans A-Z, as she always does. But I think to really stop that woman from continuing to start a family with Wade like she wanted to in Deadpool 2, is if Wade was no longer within the right mindset to do so.

Deadpool 1 introduced Wade as someone who believed he was a bad guy who got paid to fuck up worse guys, he refused the term hero, and the moment he even tried to reach for something selfless. An act that would hopefully spare Vanessa from the pain of cancer, it all got fucked up and he got turned into a monster. Someone he deemed even lesser than he was before. So far gone and completely removed from what he was loved for (his looks and personality, but how could his personality stand alone when he looked so ugly? As ugly as he always felt on the inside?)

So he turned to what he's always known: Tracking people down and making them pay. In his mind this only confirms that he's a monster, he isn't deserving of Vanessa, of anyone. Which is why he finds comfort in Blind Al, a woman who will only have to deal with his personality and not be able to see how ugly he actually is. Symbolism for showing only half of himself and not him in his entirety (not that he can hide it from her, she's too wise, knowledgeable, caring, and knows Wade better than he knows himself at this point.)

Eventually, he finishes his hunt and is still loved despite what had transpired. Vanessa still chose him, still loved him. So maybe despite how ugly he is, he can still be loved. This grounded him, solidified his self worth, have him such stability that he had a thriving relationship with Vanessa that they were SO ready to start a family, aspired to live that dream. Another act of selfishness. Only to, once again, be met by pain. Get his dream taken away, once again resorting to what he knows: revenge.

Wade wants to be a hero? He gets forcefully mutated. Wade wants a family? Vanessa gets killed. Both are immediately solved by death, but that self-loathing and sickening hatred towards himself do nothing to cure that same confirmation he had once thought he got over: That he wasn't a monster, he could be loved, be something else.

So of course Vanessa is who, even in death, looks him in the eyes and tells him he cares, he has always cared. He cares so deeply about the people in his life he meets who unconditionally love him for him as time passes, despite all his flaws.

Wade wants to be a hero? Colossus believes he can be. Wade wants to save the 13-year-old abused kid? Vanessa knows he can. He saves lives by sacrificing himself. He scarified his comfort to show Vanessa the full truth of his ugliness, he sacrificed his life for Russel to give him a better life. Maybe he isn't a complete monster, maybe he can believe again. He can be selfish, he can be reckless. So he goes back and saves more people. Heroes do that. They save the people they love. You don't hold the whole world on your shoulders, no, like Miles learned in ATSV you think of one person of the few people you want to fight against the world to protect. And he did just that.

With Vanessa back and a big family he can finally chase after what he wasn't meant for. Because it's only happened twice, it wouldn't happen again-

Rejection. He can't be a hero because people don't need him. He is the needy one, the one who wants to be needed, needs to be wanted. So, it's the crash. The final straw. He breaks. He breaks so hard because what the fuck is the point to trying if every time he is met with failure? Rejection? Pain? Loss? He becomes so stuck in figuring this all out he neglects his relationship with Vanessa, causing issues. They go separate ways, but still so close, because you don't just lose your best friend like that, even if you're no longer partners. They're always meant to be together one way or another.

So you have this broken man who is searching for purpose, years later still harboring this tiny flicker of hope that he can be greater. He can be great. He can be a hero.

His world is in trouble, he doesn't think twice saving it. He accepts he isn't perfect for this, not like all the big guys back in Avengers headquarters, but he can't let his loved ones die because of someone he's had a vendetta against the last two movies.

He literally fights and fights and fights to find someone to help him, Wade can't save who he loves he has to find someone else you can, anyone else.

Than a broken, desperate man walks into a bar to see another broken man who has since long given up.

The thing about Logan and Wade is that they don't need words. Wade blew himself up in order to die in the second movie, Logan drinks himself away, both knowing they can't die no matter how much they want to. How much they believe they deserve it.

So Wade sees a Wolverine who has potential, who hasn't hurt him (unlike the others, he gets hurt so much, guys) and places his faith in him without hesitation. From that moment on he has never truly doubted Logan's abilities nor his heroism, because he knew his Logan and if his world was anchored by a Logan than all Logan's are built with something he isn't. They're made to be heroes, made to be important. Yeah, they fight, but I strongly believe that's how two broken men say everything words can't possibly describe.

I mean what words could describe the way they go all out on each other, knowing the other can't die, the way Wade looks up at him, not wanting to regrow his entire body because he needs to save his world and understands Logan and has to decide to say something that'll convince him to help. Wade doesn't know if stopping the machine will completely save his world or if a new Logan will patch it up too, it's his own educated wish he passes onto Logan. Because just like Russel, he cares. He understands. He wants to help.

It's that faith, hope, and resistance and face of humor despite it all that causes Logan to stick by that dumb asses side. He lost everything, he is seeing someone like himself before he stumbled home drunk from the bar to find everyone dead. Someone who is capable of doing something he wasn't able to. He wants to help, more and more for Wade and less himself, a silent journey of healing following Wades steps everywhere they stumble into.

Because Logan was just drunk at a bar before being told he was needed to save a world, told he was the worst before being offered help anyone, getting praised over his capabilities, and than told again and again how he is able to be someone he never thought he could be. Much like Wade was and is.

Logan sees it. Wade most likely ignores it, much like anything else. He isn't very open with anyone other than Vanessa as we've learned.

So just- of course Wolverine is the honest one, of course he hits low, he sees himself and Wade and wants to hurt him. Wade wants to hurt him back, but only when he's directly attacked by his words and threats, a way of not taking shit. Logan took shit from the world and than didn't from Wade and his emotional rollercoster right. And I think without whatever happened in that Honda Odyssey things wouldn't have been the same. They needed that fight, that release, that hatred from themselves to burst into the form of someone else who could take it just as much as the other could.

Logan listens to Wade's home at the borderlands. Logan is given kindness and tough love. Logan joins. Logan begins to understand how most linger by Wade's side despite everything. He sees why. He's a force, he doesn't give up, he doesn't quit, not for others. It grants strength, though imperfect and messy.

Logan believes Wade deserves better. So he plans on sacrificing himself only for Wade to once again show how much of a Hero he wants to be and could be. Only for those two idiots to hold hands to madona and come to a mutual understanding and comfort that has Wade making room for Logan in his and Al's apartment.

And there is something so inherently a-spec about not being explicitly sexual with each other, having an understanding that goes beyond direct words and full truths. They they can hurt one another and it feels so good, so wanted and cherished. How they support one another by being fucked up and sloppy. They're wrecks and they help the other heal, do what they're too afraid to do.

What is more a-spec than two people looking at each other with adoration and trust? To be two people who cannot be placed within a single both because their relationship and meaning to one another isn't so neatly cut and within expectations? To love in a way that blood and standing side by side is a comfort? A steadying point in which everything becomes clearer with time?

They make me so fucking sick, they make me so FUCKING SICK.

[harunayuuka2060]

Belphie: Is this the place?

Satan: Yes. This is the address.

Mammon: Hey, can someone explain to me why we're here?

Belphie: *smiles* Lucifer met a human kid that looks like MC.

Beel: But MC is dead.

Satan: We're aware of that, Beel. We're not saying that we think that kid is MC.

Belphie: Hey, I've heard from Lucifer too that they're usually alone. I wonder if we can take them to Devildom.

Belphie: I like having the idea of having a kid in the House of Lamentation.

Mammon: So you're planning to kidnap a kid? You guys never learn.

Satan: *knocks on the door*

Mammon: Hey! I'm still talking here-

Child MC: *opens the door* Hello?

Mammon, Satan, Belphie, and Beel: ...

Mammon: What the... They really look like them.

Luke: *frowning at the report he received*

Simeon: Luke? Are you alright?

Luke: ...

Luke: *sigh* I'm fine, Simeon. But I'll have to visit the human world.

Simeon: Huh? Why all of a sudden?

Luke: It's just... Those brothers. Haven't they learned anything from their mistake?!

Simeon: Luke...

Simeon: ...

Simeon: I understand how you feel. However, you can't possibly stop them from searching happiness.

Luke: Happiness? They deserve none of that, Simeon! *walks out, leaving Simeon alone*

Simeon: *sigh*

Neighbor A: You've been receiving guests, MC.

Neighbor B: I'm sure Rapha will get worried if he finds out.

Neighbor A: That's why you need to shush your mouth. If he thinks that our neighborhood is not safe, they will move somewhere else.

Child MC: Rapha isn't like that.

Neighbor A: We know, sweetheart. But your guardian is a bit overprotective.

Neighbor B: And we're a bit selfish too because we want to see you growing up in this neighborhood.

Child MC: *smiles* I want to grow up here too.

Their neighbors: Aww~!

Neighbor B: I completely understand why Rapha is so strict when it comes to you.

Neighbor A: And that's more of a reason why you need to listen to him. Okay? Don't trust strangers.

Child MC: *nods*

Neighbor B: But... What are we going to do to those guys earlier?

Neighbor A: I don't know. Let's just keep an eye on them the next time they arrive here.

Levi: Where did all of you guys go?

Asmo: Yeah. You've got us worried!

Satan: We visited the human world.

Belphie: And we saw mini-MC.

Levi: Huh? Mini-MC? *frowns* I thought we were already done with this?

Mammon: H-Hey, hear us out first! The kid really resembles them!

Asmo: *shaking his head in disappointment* And?

Belphie: Here, Asmo. We took a photo together with the kid.

Asmo: ...

Levi: *taking a peek too*

Satan: They're cute, right?

Asmo and Levi: ...

Asmo and Levi: *the two frowning*

Levi: I don't know. No one will ever replace MC for me.

Asmo: Agreed. You're all idiots for approaching an innocent kid just because you want to forget the one who died.

*Levi and Asmo walking out.*

Beel: I told you it wasn't a good idea to show them.

Satan: It doesn't matter. *smiles* Do you think we should bring them a pet cat?

Belphie: Or a cow. I saw the neighbors were taking care of them.

Mammon: Dude?

Child MC: *waiting for Raphael to arrive because they're missing him*

Child MC: *has seen someone approaching and thought it was Raphael*

Child MC: Rapha! *runs towards the figure* *and hugs him*

Child MC: Welcome hom- *looks up*

Luke: *who's wearing a cloak almost similar to Raphael's*

Child MC: ...

Luke: Let go. I'm not the person you're looking for.

Child MC: I'm sorry. *lets go of him*

Luke: ...

Child MC: *looks disappointed that it isn't Raphael*

Luke: *in a cold tone* What are you still doing here? Go inside.

Child MC: But-

Luke: *gives them a stern look*

Child MC: ...

Child MC: *on the verge of tears* But I'm still waiting for Rapha...

Luke: It's already late. The one you're waiting for is not coming. Now go back inside your house and don't approach strangers again.

[egg-emperor]

Why I love how Eggman talks about Maria in the Shadow 101 + the connection that can be made to his feelings on Shadow:

I love this part so much and I wanna go into way too much detail and depth to explain why lol

The things this could imply are things I've thought about for a long time and to keep getting new official things that align with my theories on how he feels about Maria lately with Frontiers and now this is awesome!

First of all, I wouldn't say him taking Maria's death personally is an example of him having good standards or implying genuine moral goodness above G.U.N, considering he was cool with pointing a gun at Amy's head, who is around the same age as his cousin was who died via bullet, aboard the very place she died on.

He really didn't care about how he would've been no better than the soldier that killed his similarly aged cousin, with the same weapon, in the same place!

With the harshness of his threats and how he gets increasingly pissed during Crazy Gadget like "Sonic, if you don't come here, she WILL die!" and how he already tried to kill Tails and tried to kill Sonic and Tails again after this, his threats weren't empty.

So I'm seeing it as him taking it personally on the basis that she's a member of the family, the Robotnik family name, so an attack on a family member makes them a threat and enemy to him too.

Think about it, there's a conflict you're not a part of at all, you're just an observer but then two members of your family/your people/community etc become a target- that's when you go "oh this just got personal" because they're related to you, of your blood, and it means you're now a part of it too with your connection to them.

It's like that, except with Eggman's selfish nature, he's looking at it for how it poses as a threat to himself personally for his connection. They killed his grandfather and cousin in their slimy shady operations and they don't want to stop at them, that's when it became personal and a threat to him too and they have tried to directly take him out since multiple times in SA2 and Shadow 05.

Plus he's making Maria's tragedy all about himself with that in true Eggman fashion too, which we'll also get into.

And I want to note the very interesting difference in how Eggman acts on the subject of Maria when in private all alone to himself with his private memos, where he seemed to express absolutely no care about her tragedy and only expressed jealousy and resentment for how he feels he should've got all the attention instead.

He didn't expect anyone to ever hear these memos, he said many private things he'd never say to anyone else in them, a real intimate glimpse into his thoughts and feelings and that's what makes them so cool. He can express his bitterness and jealousy and resentment towards Maria to his heart's content.

Then compare that to how he talks about her in the Shadow 101- which isn't a private memo, it's a data log that he can present to someone else, us, the viewers. Which is why he talks like he's actually talking to someone else (Ex: The "treat him as extremely dangerous" part)

It's certainly very interesting difference to how he talks about her when people aren't supposed to hear at all in the memos huh 👀 After how much he heard "everyone" talking about her like she was so special, he knows what others want to hear.

And what comes right after this? Eggman's rant about how he was the one that released Shadow and he had to go ahead and be such an ingrate. This is very important to note because it works as him attempting to convince the viewer that Shadow not being on his side is this horrible disservice to him “after all he did for Shadow” and how he “cared so much about Shadow's only friend, my cousin” and he clearly actually finds the former amusing and scoffs at, by the way!

Two key things here, he's establishing Maria's importance to Shadow with her being his "only friend" and he's stating his own connection to Maria in being related to her as his cousin.

While he literally couldn't help but scoff at Shadow just wanting to live in peace with his only friend Maria, he still recognizes how he can use that in his attempted manipulation and argument for why Shadow should be on his side- and use the way that she's his cousin.

I'm related to his only friend Maria, I recognize how tragic her death was (because he heard everyone talk about her like she was special instead of giving him the attention he wants! He's putting it to use, eh 👀), I found and released him- these are all reasons he can feel and argue that he's entitled to owning Shadow

I'm also reminded of how Flynn said Eggman can be an unreliable narrator, which he specifically said when asked about implications to his past with the Egg Memo about Maria.

He's extremely biased and unreliable in his intended to be kept private memos, of course he's not going to be entirely truthful in his data logs and presentations too!

And his usual manipulative streak is very important to consider, especially on the subject of Shadow with his entitlement to him. It's his whole deal in the story of Shadow the Hedgehog 2005 which I've done extensive analysis of.

This 101 history video gave us yet another example of his "I'm entitled to him as a member of the family, I did so much for him, he's so ungrateful" attitude that he's always had towards Shadow. Behold, the entitlement compilation lol:

The first few examples are when he's saying how dare Shadow disobey him because he "made him" in lies and gaslighting. But in the route where Shadow knows the truth, even then he pulls the "it was MY grandfather who created you" card to express his entitlement. Literal emphasis on the MY:

He has always felt entitlement based on family connection, he can use both Gerald and Maria for this.

So he's still using a combination of that and now the way he was the one who found and released him as the reasons why he's still entitled to him now, creator or not.

And man the ME? ME! being the only word on his screen at the end of both sentences is perfect, really emphasizes how it's all me me me in his mind. Of course he's going to make everything about him, that's his whole mindset as the most egotistical self-centred narcissist of all time.

Of course he's gonna take it personally if something bad happens to a family member and he's gonna take even the smallest opportunity to make something about him. How can I make this thing about me, how does this affect me, how can this either benefit or harm me, etc. And whenever he can use it to his advantage, he will.

So yeah, I believe his words on the subject are very carefully chosen in this 101. He knows how to set up his case for why Shadow should be on his side, his weapon, his puppet, his property that he tried to trick and manipulate him into in Shadow 05 too. When lying about the origin of his creation with attempted gaslighting of him being an android doesn't work, he starts taking advantage of the truths.

I always theorized that Eggman would also try to use Maria's tragedy as a way to do so as well, if he were to actually mention her, many years prior to Frontiers. The way the only times he's cared to mention her was her name being the password in SA2, on the topic of his bitterness and jealousy in Frontiers, and as a precursor to his rant about Shadow- those are all under very interesting circumstances that are important to note. And boy do I like the implications hehe 💜

[sophrosynesworld]

with all my love,

Edit: This is now a series with more parts available. Enjoy!

This idea came into my head, basically your significant other is an absent Katsuki Bakugo. After months of a loveless relationship, you decide to leave this note and finally move on.

Dear Katsuki,

If you’re reading this, I’ve already moved my belongings out of our home. You might not believe me, but I’ve had the majority of my items packed in a suitcase next to the front door. It’s been sitting there for the past week, but you never once questioned it.

Each day I waited, hoping you’d notice, hoping you’d ask me about it. Each day, my heart broke a little more when you walked past it without a second glance. I wanted so badly for you to see, to care, to fight for us.

I can’t live like this anymore. I’m tired of sharing a house that feels more like a cold, empty shell than a home. I’m tired of sitting alone at the dinner table, my heart sinking with every passing hour that you’re not there. I’m tired of not seeing you for days on end, of lying awake at night wondering if you’re bleeding out in an alleyway. I might not be a pro-hero, but I’m still your partner. I was your partner.

For months, I fought to gain your attention back, praying to whatever god would listen. I used to beg them, offering anything they wanted, just so you would notice how much I've changed. I started working out again, sculpting my body into something I thought you’d find appealing, hoping to catch your eye like I once did. I even joined a cooking class, learning to make all your favorite dishes. I wanted to surprise you with a homemade meal. You would have known that, if you made it home for dinner once in 4 months.

Do you remember our first apartment after graduation? That tiny studio next to the noodle shop? I find myself there sometimes, watching the new couple who lives in our old place. It's become a painful habit, seeing them live out what we once had. Her boyfriend seems kind, and they slow dance in the kitchen, just like we used to. Sometimes, I can almost hear your laughter echoing in their space, as if our ghosts still linger there.

I remember when we used to laugh and dance together, our dreams tangled like a ball of red string. We would stay up late, talking about our future, making plans that felt like promises. Now, our home your home haunts me. The warmth I once felt has been replaced by a suffocating darkness. I don't know what changed, Katsuki, but pretending everything is fine is tearing me apart.

I often wonder what your biggest regret in life will be. Is it pushing your friends away, no matter how hard they try to love you? Maybe it will be all the times you let your anger get the best of you. Could it be not taking a moment to stop and smell the roses, to appreciate the simple, beautiful moments life has to offer.

I don't know if you've found someone else. Part of me dreads the truth. I don’t want to know if there’s another name on your lips, another face in your heart. I don't think I could bear knowing their name or imagining you whispering those same sweet words into their ear.

Izuku says it’s selfish, but I hope your biggest regret in life is losing me. I hope you see my face in every little thing—the flowers you never stopped to admire, the meals we never shared, the quiet moments you never savored. I hope my laughter echoes in your silence, my tears in your loneliness. I hope my memory haunts your future as painfully as our present haunts me.

If you still love me, Katsuki Bakugo, I haven't felt that love from you in months.

With all of my love,

[spicyvampire]

I was gonna make gifsets out of them but tbh idk if I'll ever have the time because it would be like 20+ gifs gifset but I have to say

Great and Tyme had the most complex character developments I've ever seen in a show

Great went from being extremely passive and selfish in the face of violence, e.i. letting Den's girlfriend to have a heart attack when he literally had a phone in his hand he could have call an ambulance and letting Manee die after hitting her and not stopping Title from killing Dome and letting his parents control him like a puppet while he self destruct alone, to genuinely trying to have a connection with Tyme even if Tyme was using him (it's not like he knew any better from anyone else around him all people do is use him: Title used him as accessory to murder, his parents use him for the family business, he is probably used to people using him for his family money and that's why he has like virtuallyno friends other than Title), to trying to save Nan but being paralyzed by fear, to confronting his parents about their illegal businesses when the news broke irl before even his 4MP, in the middle of all of that he was already become permeable to the idea that his parents and him weren't good people, he was having trouble sleeping & being alone because of that, and on top of that he had Tyme yelling some sens into him because he could not just stay in that state of passiveness, indecision and self destruction forever, his inaction hurt people, got them killed, got him shot

So in his 4MP he became braver, he saved Manee, he saved Dome, he helped save Nan, he help Tyme get at his parents for being assholes, because he never wished that none of it happened he just wished he had reacted better, and meanwhile he also experienced another thing he always wished he had which is someone who cared deeply about him, even if he barely knew Tyme, he knew that Tyme had that in him because of how Tyme treated him before during and after using him to get back at his dad, and to be honest it really didn't matter if Tyme didn't have it in him as long as he was brave and someone treated him right before he was gone forever

And when he came back from his 4MP, he knew he couldn't change and be as perfect as he was in his 4MP but he could better in the future, he can stop his parents before they came back and started that cycle of violence all over again because once again they were using him and putting him in danger for their own benefits and were focused on trying to get something they didn't even deserve back, he can make amends for what he had done before aka hit and run with Manee and his implication in Dome's death, he can take decisive actions even if they are hard and will affect him negatively because it's the right thing to do and because he isn't alone anymore, Tyme is there, Tyme knows everything, understands him and loves him anyway

Tyme on the other hand got completely changed by resentment when he found and read his mom diary, he became cold and uncaring towards everyone around him including his patients and his ex, he was so blinded by rage that he misinterpreted the contents of the diary, he used Great who had nothing to do with any of it other than being related to the person he thought was responsible for his parents' death, threatened the wrong people, couldn't save Nan after putting her in danger by involving her in his vendetta, lashed out on Great who was genuinely trying to be better & help but he could not see it because he was too angry, impulsively exposed the gambling dens out of anger, Great is in the hospital dying after he just used him and lashed out at him, he got his Grandma killed instead of giving justice to his parents he lost his last family member, and then got shot and his heart stop in irl

So in his 4MP he chose not to read the diary at all from the very start, he chose to be free of the resentment and anger of what was taken from him and what could have been, he will never be a singer but that's fine, he can learn to love being a doctor and learn to care about his patients, he can break up with Nutcha properly and have his grandma be with him, he can love Great and Great can love him and he can be happy with that

Tyme experienced the 2 complete extreme on the spectrum of Revenge and resentment, a world where he was blinded his vendetta and didn't see anything but it before he was shot and a world where he didn't touch that vendetta at all, and when he came back from his 4MP he realized that he didn't want to make those choices like that anymore, he didn't want to be only fuelled by revenge but he couldn't just live with 0 justice being served, especially not with Great being back next to him who is taking action to right his wrong doings, so he chose to still try and find justice but in a way that would honor his parents & his grandma, in a way that will allow him to feel the love that can be between Great and him, in a way that he would be happy with the life he has

So yeah, I think this show had a very interesting and complex way of showing characters developments that we have never seen before, and while it was extremely non-linear, the message of taking better decisions so you do not have only regrets on ur death bed was very clear, and I'm gonna be thinking about those characters for a while

[lukolabrainrot]

Hey there, what do we think about Nicola’s IG post for Camilla’s bday. It’s a collage of 4 pictures taken by paparazzi of her and Camilla last year and in the caption she said something like remember when the paparazzi took photos and you protected me by covering my face. I feel like that is for sure throwing shade at a certain someone. Like she could’ve chosen any photo with Camilla. She has sooo many, why that one and why this caption. Also the way the photos were stacked looked like A’s recent soho house photos with her friends.

I feel like Nicola’s being very cryptic and sending messages through her posts recently including the scrabble board. I don’t know what that was about exactly but I feel like she posted it for a purpose and the person who that was aimed at would understand. I dunno I might be over analyzing but I think we should paying closer attention to her posts.

I also feel like that means we are headed in a positive direction because it means she cares about Luke and feels protective over him and is letting everyone know, even if there is currently a bit of tension between them. Not saying there is tension but just a feeling that she’s not very happy with how he’s handling things at the moment.

What do we all think?

Ok I just reblogged a post about this, but I am going to add this (and a lot of this is just based on my gut feelings/opinions based off of everything I've seen, so these are all just THEORIES):

First, I want to start by saying we will NEVER know exactly what anyone's SPECIFIC intentions are on SM posts unless the publisher publicly clarifies it.

HOWEVER, N is VERY intentional on SM. So is A. L... not so much (I've known a lot of dudes like him who just don't really care to put a lot of energy/thought into SM, EVEN if they have it and utilize it). So I get the impression this might be the case for him as well. Intentionality takes thought and energy, so I do agree that N and A's recent SM posts are VERY intentional, but what those exact intentions are, again, we will probably never EXACTLY know. What/who is the common denominator between these two women though? L. Sooooo, I feel pretty confident that he is at the root of most of these more "cryptic" posts/stories on N and A's SM.

Now, normally, I would say WTH is a 37 y/o woman doing playing petty and shady SM games with a 23 y/o woman that wants the attention?? Well... I think SM is the only way for them to communicate with each other, and these two women have a LOTT to say to each other (which totally makes sense if ANY of our theories on L/N or the PR tour/papgate/A are accurate). Which is why I do think a lot of N's recent SM activity has been shade, but more directly towards A. Since the London premiere, I personally think L/N are dealing with their complex feelings over everything in private mainly because people are analyzing EVERYTHING they do.

If you have read my other theories on this blog, I don't think L/N are in a terrible place rn (but are very likely having to work through a LOT of complex things in private). I am sure they BOTH aren't happy about how this all publicly played out. And as I have mentioned, I think EVERYONE in this situation has made some mistakes (some more than others though). Please look through my "timelines" posts if you have any more questions on my thoughts on this.

I have also said this before, but I will say it again. N AND A WILL NEVER, NEVERRR BE FRIENDS. Based off of everything I have seen and know about these two women, they have VERY little in common (and A is very insecure and envious of N). Therefore, these two women are probably NEVER going to talk alone face-to-face (I personally don't think A has the cajones to address anything with N to her face). A (based on her public image and actions and everything else we know about her) seems like such a selfish, two-faced mean girl (just my opinion). N appears to be the opposite of that, and I believe would be more inclined to address things with A face-to-face. Since that is not an option though, N has utilized SM to share her real opinions/feelings with A. And yes, I do believe N is protective of L (BECAUSE THEY REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER). I don't have any solid proof on this, it is just a gut feeling, but I think a lot of N's most recent "cryptic" posts/stories are hinting that L/N's connection is not going to be ruptured by immature, selfish, and insecure behavior from A. And I think that is a really good sign for us Lukola fans.

Lastly, who again is the common denominator here? L! Could he have handled this WHOLE situation better? Yes! I've mentioned before though, he got ANNIHILATED on SM after Papgate. And he has been getting hate on SM from people in the fandom for years (him AND N already had to leave Twitter because of all the hate they were receiving). Therefore, I believe he is FED UP, but also TRYING to stay engaged just a LITTLE bit on SM. Yes, N has also gotten a lot of hate on SM, but she and L are very different people, and I get the sense that she is able to navigate the hate a little better than L. Therefore, L has taken a major step back from his public engagement online, and to be really honest, I don't believe he will be returning to his typical public SM activity anytime soon. Now, what other people AROUND him post on SM, I think that has a lot more to do with THOSE INDIVIDUALS than L himself (again, just my opinion). How aware/involved L is with any of these posts/stories that adjacent people in his life are posting, we will probably never know. L is a chronic people pleaser though, and I got the sense from what I have seen that he is not very good at setting firm boundaries with people in his life (which likely played a role in SOME of the SM activity we have seen recently from adjacent people in his life). I think there is a lot of self-reflection going on for him at the moment in terms of determining HOW he wants to move forward in his career and HOW he wants the public to see him. I think he is still figuring it out...

Anywhooo, like I have mentioned multiple times, the whole situation seems to be REALLY messy (and I am almost certain that both L/N didn't want all of this to play out on such a public stage). And we will never know the full story of what was/is going on BTS for everyone. However, a lot of the recent posts/stories from N have been very interestingggg 🤔

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking out my manager?

Hi there. Trust me this is a WIBTA and not just dating advice.

So I (35F) am basically working at my dream workplace. I cant say what exactly, because I know people follow this account there, but suffice to say its in a desirable industry with a lot of passionate folks, and while its a big (~150 people) place, there's an atmosphere of kindness and joy I've never seen anywhere else. I know a lot of you probably hate me for this, but I am truly aware how rare a workplace this is, and I am grateful. I dont take it for granted. Sometimes the work itself truly sucks, and the pay is outright atrocious, but when your coworkers have your back, it makes all the difference. They accept me even tho I'm trans, and when I've been sick or injured they make sure I'm taken care of. I feel like they are a family of sorts, and I've been working there for over a year now.

Anyways, this wonderful place is held up by a lot of wonderful people, but one in particular is my manager (30F). When I first got hired, I noticed she was cute, but more importantly she was welcoming and accepting. I set aside those feelings, of course, because its a workplace, but they havent gone away.

But lately, this all started to change. We now spend a lot of talking! We have lots of common interests, and there have been nights when both of us will stay for HOURS while the other works, just to chat about whatever! We even text a bit, even about not-work things. Sharing fandom stuff, whatever. The more and more we talked, the more I fell for her. I could hear her go on for days, even if its something I dont care about. Hell, she could read the dictionary and I'd be sitting there grinning because I get to hear her talk. I've got it bad! And then, a few weeks ago, she even brings up how she's given up on dating...but before I could ask more or say anything really, a coworker interrupted and the moment passed.

And here I am, weeks later, smitten like crazy. And I'd say "oh she obviously likes me, she sticks around for you, shares stuff with you" but she's like this with everyone. She's a bit airheaded honestly about it, I mostly find it endearing, but she could absolutely just be doing it because she talks like that to everyone. She's bisexual, and very pro-trans, so I dont think that would be an issue in any way.

But here's where the WIBTA part comes: I have told a couple other coworkers, and they brought up not only that its a dangerous move to date a manager, but also that it could hurt the workplace itself. I mean, this is a place where so many people get to have a joyful opportunity at life, and as I've said this is tremendously rare...what if I take up too much of this manager's time, and she cant be there for other workers? What if this manager gets fired for dating an underling, and gets replaced by someone awful? There's a whole lot of what-if's floating through my mind.

And then I start thinking, if I ask her out, wouldnt that be putting her in an awkward position? I mean if she doesnt like me, and has to turn me down, she still has to work with me, and I her. I can compartmentalize that, but...she might have more trouble. Is it selfish of me to even try, when I could just let well enough be? And on top of that, what did she mean by "giving up on dating"? It didnt sound like she was aromantic, just that she decided it wont happen, but maybe its just going to be a problem if I ask her out. It feels like the stakes of even asking her out are so high. So I keep chatting with her in hopes that I'll catch a lead, but...idk.

Anyways, I am primarily concerned with if it would be a dick move to anyone in my workplace, especially her, but genuinely I am just lost here. I've never dated anyone at a workplace, but like. The dating apps suck, and I dont think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. I've even thought about quitting or finding another workplace to make it an easier decision, but I feel like thats even worse; like it would put pressure on her to date me because I quit for her or something. So how about it? Should I keep my mouth shut, or is love truly worth all risks?

What are these acronyms?

[riskyraiker]

Hii, I saw you were taking requests, so how about this: A Vox x Reader who were old friends in life, now reunited in hell, but not in a way he would expect. Reader was fighting for the Hotel against exterminators and got hurt.

Sort of an angsty/hurt-comfort kinda thing, with Vox stepping out of his cruelty and demon persona. Please, take care and thank you 💕😋

Oh my i absolutely love this😍😍and here have a rose for being my first request🌹You didn't specify genders so i wrote Y/N as they/them, also i apologize if the pov changes from 3rd pov to anything else.

Glad that we're in hell | Vox x reader

Vox loved how much control he had in Hell. He didn't miss anything from the time when he was alive, or so he thought. He didn't want to break his persona in anyway, but he couldn't help but miss Y/N after Valentino had another tantrum over Angel Dust. He covered it by stalking and complaining about a certain radio demon who came back in town. Vox was so focused that he didn't even notice his good old friend next to Alastor.

---------------------------------------------

All of the three V's sat on the couch watching how an army of angels flew closer to the Hazbin Hotel. Vox was enthralled that Alastor would lose, but all his focus on Alastor vanished when he noticed someone familiar being attacked by an exorcist. "No fucking way.." Vox mumbled under his breath which got the attention of Velvette for max. 2 seconds. His panic didn't last long when the exorcist head was shot full of holes by Angel. Soon enough Adam broke the barrier and started to fight with Alastor himself. Vox was celebrating as Alastor got his ass beat by Adam, now he was complaining about alastor leaving. "Agghh Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

Alastor was down, Angel, Husk and Cherry were struggling, Charlie was choked by Adam and Vaggie was struggling with Lute. Y/N had no other choice but try and sneak up on Adam. Attacking the first man, but almost no damage was done expect a scar on his shoulder. Adam threw Y/N to a wall, which made Vox absolutely enraged. "Y/N!!" Oh shit, that confirms it, it's you. As lucifer arrived to the fight, Vox dissapeared from the couch through cameras to the battlefield, he ran to Y/N. "I..what are you doing here?" It seems like they didn't recognize him well for being a TV screen. "I'm here to save you, darling. I-it's me Vox you knew me when we were alive." Y/N eyes widened as she coughs his name before losing consiousness. "Aw shit, let's go back" Vox held Y/N close as he went back into his place. He did the best he could to bandage you up and give you every pain reliever he had after you woke up. "uhh..what happened. The hotel! Where am i? I need to help Charlie and the others!" Vox was at his own desk watching the cameras, until he heard you yelling about the hotel and your friends. He had no time to get up and run when he straight up teleported through electricity next to you. "Oh god, I was so worried about you! I didn't even know you were in hell. Why in the fuck are you even here?!" Vox didn't care if Val or Velvet would walk through those huge doors as he held you close and rambled about you and your well being to you. "Vox, is it Really you? I thought i had lost you completely." Those words cut his heart in half and made him glitch. You held him tight as you could without being in pain.

You couldn't help but let tears fall down your face, you missed him so much. "I thought i didn't miss you at all, but I was so wrong. How could I've been so selfish not to realize I loved you all this time" Was it true what he just said or were you still in shock from the battle. "Vox. Did you just confess?" Vox only glitched and even shed a few tears which made him ashamed. "Oh darling don't cry, I love you aswell" You caressed his screen styled face softly as you leaned your forehead onto the top of his screen. "Y-You do?" His eyes flickered and moved up and down, looking into your eyes then glancing at your lips. "Of course I do. I loved you since we were alive. You make me glad to be in hell" It took you long enough to kiss, but you did it anyway. Angels say Hell is only suffering and pain, but they didn't know that it's not only that. "You make hell seem like Heaven to me, Y/N"

--------------------------------------

AN: I hope you liked it. I wrote this quick as possible to not keep you waiting. It might short aswell, I'm not good at going to detail :,)

[bredforloyalty]

alright now that i've watched it again, about fear no mort: how fascinating that most of morty's fear hole journey revolved around rick, so much so that an extended part of it was just a scenario in which rick's dead wife climbs to the top of his list of favorite people/reasons to live for and not only does he abandon morty but endangers the both of them. wild! morty third wheeling grumpily is wild (although i don't at all care about diane so that part of the episode was kind of soiled on first watch by me going "oh ://".. to be entirely honest. and i'm so mortypilled that if i could tweak the episode i would've put less grandpa in it lol and played it a bit more straight with focusing on morty but then again that's me and that would be a very different episode)

so, morty's afraid of rick not choosing him but also not choosing life, he's afraid of not being able to save rick and be someone he can depend on. it's an awful lot to take on, being the companion of someone who historically has not given much of a shit about himself and ended up hurting everyone around him with his callousness. it's a certain kind of selfishness, when you hate yourself and the world enough to turn inward and forget you have a responsibility to the people around you, and you forget there is a way out and forget the world does not abandon you, ever, only you can abandon yourself. and rick's only recently made some changes, it's a lot to look out for and care for someone (regardless if you intend to care or it was never a choice. and it wasn't) when they've been exceptionally cruel to you, when they don't think of you as capable of that or themselves as in need of that. morty's afraid of the very fact that he's committed, that he's got a mixture of affection and resentment and fear and a bunch of other things swirling inside him and it's all related to one man. he's terrified of what will happen if rick ever starts needing him and he's just not enough. fuck i loved that and thought it was delicious. eating the episode like an animal and licking all ten of my fingers after...

morty's also afraid of becoming his dad, who spent the majority of the previous seasons as a kind of doormat, who let his wife and father-in-law walk all over him, who didn't appreciate beth, who abandoned the family. maybeee even.. who didn't stick up for morty when a certain old man was taking advantage of him and breaking him down systematically. he fears humiliation and ostracism (typical teenage things, i was like that too and yet. not everyone is like that so it matters to me that i was very much like that too).. he's got so much shame, and although the settings are the school and the wider public for some of the fears, rick's role isn't exactly incidental in how morty functions outside of their relationship and who he's become. who has made him feel small and weak and stupid and who isolated him and prevented him from having the normal experiences all those other normal kids have? like sure it's not all rick but considering that by the end the fear is all about him, i feel like i can emphasize this. and sure rick's also the one who toughened him up (nothing scares him anymore, the school had to alert homeland security once, etc) but that's part of his fear too: rick's got his handprints all over him, he's everything, while rick's everything is not morty ((according to morty of course. little does he know.......))

anyway, the tragedy is that his worst fear does become reality, is his reality: rick didn't jump in after him. it's tragic because he perceives rick as someone who would never go as far for him as he would for rick, who could replace him, and by the end he accepts that. the fear is gone because being together is inevitable, there's nothing else to do but accept how they are and how vulnerable he is to rick. don't fear what you're destined to suffer!!! he's a loyal little dog! rick will never change and he's okay with that now. that's devotion, it's veiled by sci-fi bullshit and goofy jokes (and that terrible naked rap number that had me cringing uncontrollably hxsgvy) but it's devotion! except, to add to the tragedy while not really making it,, heavier, it's straight up untrue that rick could or would replace him. not jumping in the fear hole wasn't real evidence of how he feels, to morty it was just a representation of what he thinks is the worst of their relationship (the worst for him). we've been watching rick try and try and seeing the evidence of how he's changed all season, i think that makes it sadder that he's still not reassured the kid, that he still can't be honest or open enough to untangle the knot at the center of morty. that he tied

and yet, if i wasn't already reassured that rick's also committed, if not to morty personally then to the family and to making a continuous effort to improve, i would be reasured by how he didn't jump in at the end and instead took a picture of his grandson out of his wallet and pinned it to the 'went in the hole' board (lol). he had a picture in his wallet, god. he finally listened, he listened to morty who said it's not worth it, not even if diane is there, he chose not to immerse himself in his fears, his past and his wounds, and i would even say he chose not to go where morty couldn't follow. he chose his current reality and admitted morty is braver than him by pinning the picture, he wasn't condescending about morty running and jumping by himself. and most importantly, most cuckoo bananas of all, most 'kata is not going to be feeling well for a while' about the episode, when morty hugged him, he, for the first time!!, timidly started hugging back. and then morty immediately let go and pushed him away because he can't imagine a rick that hugs back, that loves him like he loves rick, he's so scared of the part of himself that wants to believe in that level of respect and care and reciprocation, the part that craves that. what the fuuuuck

rick's only recently started loosening his claws and thinking of how he could do right by his grandson and by others in general, it hasn't caught up with him yet that while morty does see him and does assess him accurately, he's not a mind reader and he's got insecurities and rick's at the center of them and well, you could say, you could say he should take responsibility for what he's done ('take responsibility' NOT in a canceling rick sanchez on twitter unless he repents for his grooming crimes way but in a waggling my eyebrows way forever and ever). ngl i wasn't super satisfied by the rest of the season as it was coming out but i'm excited to see where they take this, how these characters will develop further. and i was very happy to see an episode just about morty's side of the equation, i've been fed <3

[darkbluekies]

Silas asks #3

Previous one Next one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: a little nswf indication, death, indication of suicide, torture,

— ☁️ SILAS AND HEDWIG...! i also thought of them 😌 yanderes that are ruthless to everyone but has a soft side for their darling >>> silas reminds me of a huge teddy bear tbh 😓 he's probably so touchy if only you allow him to. grrr... the thought of sitting on his lap and snuzzling on his chest 😡

Omg yes he does :(( He's so addicted to you, never keeping his hands to himself. He doesn't care if it's only holding your hand or making you his, he loves to be close. Sitting on his lap and cuddling into his chest would be the death of him. Oh, he'd love it so much :((

— Y'know the urge to draw silas is cat ears is something brewing maybe even adding hedwig and jerry (small chance for dr.kry but its still there) to the list who knows not sure to go with my demons or nah

NO. SHOO. LEAVE. NO KITTY EARS ON SILAS

— How would Silas feel about a motherly type of darling? When he comes home from missions injured she absolutely insists on attending his wounds. And when he's sick, she takes care of him, nursing him back to health. She can't just stand by and watch someone else suffer after all!

He'd love it so much! He'd fall for you so badly. If you had any chance to escape before, now there's none. He'll watch over you like a hawk. He knows he doesn't deserve a kind soul like you, but he's so selfish that he'll keep you for himself.

"Thank you so much, baby, but, ouch, you shouldn't ... shouldn't do this. You shouldn't patch me up. I know you want to take care of me, but that's my job! I should take care of you, baby. Not the other way around. But ... thank you so much ... I love you."

— I just read your peice about attempting to escape Silas, and AHHHH Silas REALLY pisses me off!!!.......... And that's how you know you have a very well written villain!!! I thoroughly enjoyed reading that, and can't wait to read more in the future! Keep up the good work (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆~🥀

haha thank you so much!! there will be more of Silas stupid behaviour in the future, don't you worry!

— What would happen if reader died or became seriously ill after Silas puts them in the basement for a while?

He'll be so sad and regret everything he's ever done. If you survive, he'll be much, much more careful. He'll never do that again. He nearly lost you! Silas can't imagine a life without you.

But if you died ... he'd break apart.

— Gosh seeing how Silas reacted to darling being sick. But like when it comes to me. I can alread imagine how he would be. Cause my immune system sicks I get sick easily...Then there's the fact that I'm clumsy af, I always have random bruises or cuts and don't notice them until I'm in the bath.

Silas would be in constant stress, my friend. You'd give him a heart attack.

— When Silas says he's gonna torture us as punishment at the end of "You Can't Hide From Me" What kind of torture? Like physical, psychological, etc?

I wanted to leave that up to the readers interpretation, but I thought maybe some kind of psychological. When he says that he'll make them know only him, he'll break them down until they don't remember anything but him. He'll destroy them.

— Oh, I’m going to torture you. Badly. What did Silas do to us?

...next question.

— What is Silas’ body count?

Let's say around ten. He's been out and about, tried different things here and there, but nowadays, he only wants you. And he makes sure you know that with how far beyond he'll take you :]

— How many people has Silas killed?

Maybe around thirty? He does half the dirty work himself and half he sends out his men to do.

[notdiabolika]

“This is not a date.”

But it sure feels like one.

| Featuring: Ayato Sakamaki & Yui Komori.

Heavily Inspired by Diabolik Lovers Anime Anthology Manga, Ayato's second chapter.

Prompt 5: First Date.

From the moment I settled for my fate to live in this huge mansion, I have been treated as prey by every single one of the vampires living in it. Rude comments were said to me every day, night after night.

The Sakamaki brothers would never show mercy. 

– I am not food! – I tried to say countless times, and no one bothered to listen.

As time passed, I lost hope of being heard and became increasingly lonely. Until one of them showed up to question me.

 – Sup, pancake? – Ayato's presence was recurring, wherever I went, I would be confronted by the red-haired vampire. – You have been sighin’ nonstop lately.

He asks this while using one of his rude nicknames, as always. However, I decided to answer him.

– It's just… it's been so long since I've had fresh air. – Another longing sigh crawls out of my nostrils, my gaze wandering to the ceiling. – The mansion is too stuffy, and I start to think about going somewhere else. Like a park or a garden outside of here. 

No one would let me leave, it was that simple. 

– A park? – With a single step, Ayato places himself right in front of me. His brow was furrowed. – For what? Do you want to have a date there or something? – His tone was blatantly mocking. 

– What? No, I never said that! 

Laughing at my face, he looks down at me. 

– You know, your reaction says it all. – He walks around me with a sneer on his lips. – Of course, no one would invite you, with that flat chest of yours. 

– My chest has nothing to do with it! 

With the little freedom I have, it would be impossible to find someone in that sense. I don't even want to have a relationship with anyone right now. 

– It has a lot to do with it. – Determined, he takes a step forward, daring me to respond. – Pan-ca-ke. 

I know that if I answered him, his response would be another snarky joke. Ayato is really cruel. 

Selfish, and an eternal child.

I just want to be listened to, without my words getting distorted or laughed at when I'm trying to say something important. Any change from him seemed too good to be possible. 

– … excuse me. – I turn my back, catching him off guard as I head to the opposite side.

I’m in no mood to deal with that kind of discussion today. Rather keep myself out of trouble until dawn, no matter how much I despise wandering in the dark. Better alone than going out with bad company, after all. 

When school starts, I sit outside at the top of the building, letting the wind intertwine my blond curls. I should have been in class, but the concentration on my studies had faded along with any remnants of determination. 

On nights like this, loneliness is my only enemy. 

It's cold out here. I need to hug my knees to get some comfort. 

I would like to look at the sky, but the stars are hidden among the clouds. The only thing left is the bright full moon.

Even if I insisted on reaching its light with my fingertips, they would never make it. Some hopes were doomed to be forgotten. 

However, I hadn't completely abandoned my dreams yet. I still thought of them.

– What are you doin’ here? – and he also remembered me.

When I lift my chin, I find the same confident boy from before seemingly bothered. His usual white shirt with three of the buttons unbuttoned, the black jacket, and one of the legs with the pants resting on his knee. 

– Nothing… – I doubt he would care if I told him. 

His eyebrows hunched as if trying to guess what I meant by that.

 – Tch. – His hand lands on my back, pulling me away from the corner. – It's annoying when you suddenly disappear. 

There was only one reason why Ayato would care about this. 

– Uhm. – My lower lip trembles a little. – You always get upset when the prey disappears, right?

The words sound defiant in my head, although the voice comes out small and sad. I stand up with the support of his hand, watching his cautious expression through my pink irises.

He seems to think for a while, not knowing how to respond when he notices the lingering melancholy in my actions.

– Your blood is simple food for vampires. – Obviously, Ayato will say that. – It would be strange for us to treat you in any other way. 

– Okay… – I don’t even want to argue, my mind is too exhausted for such a thing. 

I try to free myself from him, with little desire to use force. 

I remain in place. 

– And this, it's “okay” too? – His arms wrap around my waist, suddenly pulling me towards him. 

– Eh?!

Before I can react, the soles of my shoes leave the floor. The air currents that clash against me get more intense, and when I look down…

– A-Ayato. – I close my eyes. – Get back down, we’re going t-too high.

I forgot that vampires could fly on a full moon, and I never imagined that he would grab me and take flight like that, out of nowhere! 

– Who told you to close your eyelids? – he murmurs with annoyance. – If you’re so afraid of fallin’, all you need to do is hold on tight. 

Following his advice, I began to tighten his clothes. The muffled laugh that rises from his chest forms a strangely pleasant buzz against my skin. We ascend into the night sky. 

My sighs become lighter as I place a small part of my trust in him, despite still being scared. 

The environment around me felt swift and slow, indicating that Ayato had – finally – stopped.

His grip on my waist becomes solid, an assurance that he will continue carrying me.

His body barely emits heat, but it gives me a comforting feeling when I hold on tightly. Courage blooms in my chest, a curiosity to see what he wanted to show me so bad.

In an attempt to satisfy this anxiety, my eyelashes lift one by one.

I thought the heights would scare me, however, I was wrong. The city lights are beautiful, as bright as sun rays in the midst of shadows. A whiff of air slips away from my lungs, and my palms drag to his shoulders.

– I remember you said you weren't a big fan of the darkness once, so… – he turns his head upwards, forgetting to finish the sentence. – Oh, that's right, you wanted to see a park. 

My heart filled with happiness when I realized that he had actually paid attention to what I said. I didn't even remember sharing this information with Ayato, but it seems that this opinion of mine had been kept carefully in his thoughts.

 – There’s an amusement park. – He points with his index finger, proud of his own discovery. – Right there.

Following the direction in which his green eyes are guided, I observe a ferris wheel and other lit toys, as well as wide gates guarding the place. No group of people inside.

– It must be closed at these hours. We have to go back— 

He cuts off my speech, pressing my body against his. 

– Don't be a party pooper! You’ll be able to experience anythin’ you desire once we get there. – A playful smile forms on his lips, the idea sparkling in his pupils. – Let's go now.

– No, wait! 

WHOOSH— 

Ayato pretends not to hear as he flies away. I bury my face on his shoulder, a loud screech escaping my throat.

I hold him tightly as we cross the vast ocean of urban buildings, which resemble a bunch of figures and shadows moving around us. When we reach the blue floor, it feels like my stomach just turned from the inside out. 

– … why do that? – I take in the fresh air, releasing it with some difficulty.

This night is getting too radical for me. 

– If I had let you talk, you’d be complaining. – He murmurs, relieving the pressure of his hug. – It’s your first time skipping class, we gotta celebrate somehow! 

This, in no context, should be a reason for celebration. 

– There is no way to enjoy a closed amusement park. – A calm breeze passes by, and I break our embrace. – Someone might see it and call the police, we are trespassing after all.

He laughs. 

– As if they’re going to find us! – the confidence in his words remains unshakable. – In the worst-case scenario, I’ll grip ya and fly away. No issue.

This vampire never changes. However, I have to admit that this little adventure lifted my spirits.

There's a section with a field of artificial flowers and the park’s map behind him. Even though we're the only ones here, all the attractions listed make me want to explore more. 

– Alright. – I confirm with hesitation. – Let's try to be discreet, it would be awful if we ended up damaging something. 

In the moment’s rush of adrenaline, I almost fail to perceive the cocky vampire puffing his chest in satisfaction.

– Heh, I always knew you weren’t as prissy as you seemed. 

It surprises me that a guy like him managed to drag me into such a mess, which makes me question his true intentions. However, when I stop to question why, a very peculiar possibility comes to mind. 

It makes me stay quiet for a while until I have the courage to ask:

– Ayato… did you bring me here because you wanted to have a date with me? – It made sense. That's what he had asked me before in a teasing tone, and it could be the real reason.

I see him blink, caught off guard by the question. No response comes out of his mouth. 

Moments of stillness stretch between us. 

– What are you sayin’? – suddenly, his face starts to become serious. – Obviously, I brought you here to have a meal.

My heart shatters. 

I take a few steps back, almost bumping into a carousel horse by accident.

– Oh… 

Of course. I don't even know why I thought it would be different. 

– Come on, do your thing. – His lips form an evil smile, revealing his sharp fangs. – Close your eyes. 

I was foolish to think his intentions would be good. I let my eyelids roll over my eyes, cringing in anticipation of a bite. 

The silence becomes a thousand times more unbearable than it was a few seconds ago. 

Until he blows a puff of air on my ear.

– Ow! – I cover it with my hand, eyes opening in irritation. – Ayato, if you're going to bite me, don't hurt my hearing! 

His laughter resonates in my mind, and I, without understanding, watch him take a step back. 

– Do you really think that, among all these fun toys, I'm ‘bout to bite your neck?! – suddenly, his hand holds mine. – Dum-my. You think too highly of yourself.

I’m amazed at this development, until I feel a pull from him, getting my feet dragged to God knows where Ayato is taking me.

 – Tonight, let’s have fun. – Despite only seeing the back of his head, I'm sure Ayato is smiling. – So be quiet and don’t ask unnecessary questions.

The wind carries us around, shaking our fabrics and loose strands of hair as his fingers get tangled with mine. The touch is gentle. 

The occasional – and discreet – glance he throws in my general direction tells me…

 …this is definitely a date.

EXTRA: Silly moodboard.

‹━━━━━━━━━━━ .☆. • ☪ • .☆. ━━━━━━━━━━━›

this text was way too hard to translate from my mother language to english, I hope this is decent (help)

I rolled a d30 (a thirty sided dice) online to determine my theme, and then noticed there was an extra, bonus prompt that I forgot to count. Oh well.

May we heavily boost #diabolik otp challenge this year. I hope this oneshot wasn't too long :,)

Also, check out LeFreet, I took the rendered Ayato chibi from one of their posts.

(@yuriko-mukami) <— Follow the creator of this challenge!

[weirdsht]

This is a fic idea I've been conjuring in my head for TOCF x reader thingy. So reader is from this messed up dimensions were the monsters couldn't be defeated and instead they become stronger. The situation only became worse as humans were forced to become monsters including you. So you've been on your own for Lord knows how long then all of a sudden you wake in this odd dimension with someone staring at you. So you attack them but the problem is that you might have attacked Cale Henituse.

Disorientated - lotcf & reader

notes: I forgot how I used to write so idk if I got worse or better lmaooo. also this is the last ask on my inbox but ik there was more a year ago, i think tumblr deleted it lol. Oh also I took humans becoming monsters metaphorically and not literally 😅

tags: novel spoilers (late part of book 1), no romance, gn!reader

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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8 years

It has been 8 years since the world has fallen into chaos. 8 years since the apocalypse happened. Monsters that looked as though they came from storybooks started roaming around as if they owned the place. No one could figure out how or why. All everyone knew was that one day these things appeared and killed masses.

5 years

It has been 5 years since everyone lost hope. At first, factions were formed and everyone had hoped to either get rid of the monsters or find a way to survive against them. However, it looks like the universe has forsaken your world and the people in it.

Not only did no one find the weakness of these monsters, but they also somehow grew stronger. They destroyed everything. From houses to food; every resource you could think of is now facing a scarcity. 

That was why humans decided to forego their last remaining humanity and let their selfish natures take over. People started betraying their factions, sacrificing their friends and family to get food, killing fellow humans for a place to sleep in, and many more atrocities.

You were no exception to this rule. You were far from selfless and goody-two-shoes. The things that you have done did not sit right with you. In fact, sometimes nightmares and hallucinations haunt you. However, you were more afraid to die than whatever else hardship you had to experience to survive.

So you do everything to survive. If this time it means sleeping in a scary forest with nothing but the clothes on your back and a measly dagger in your hand? Then that’s what you’ll do.

3 seconds

It has been 3 seconds since you woke up after sleeping in an unknown forest. You didn’t know if you were still in the same forest because your view was being blocked by a guy staring at you. It had been a while since you’d seen a fellow human, the last one you had to kill before they could kill you.

So you try to attack the unknown guy with your dagger. 

Before you can even blink, the dagger had flung out of your hands and a new person had come into view. This surprised you, last time you recalled people didn’t team up anymore. All of them afraid of being betrayed, of being killed. Sometimes the thought of being killed by another human sounds scarier than being eaten by a monster.

“What the hell, people still team up in this day and age? And what’s up with the redhead’s clothes… wait where the hell am I?”

Your voice was hoarse from not being used for a long time. However, you didn’t care as confusion piled like a Lego tower when you noticed more and more abnormalities. First were the clothes of the redhead man. It looks too luxurious, something that’s impossible to get in your ruined world. The next thing was the forest itself. At first glance, it looks similar to where you were last night. However you know better, the plants look different, and the noises of the monsters from a distance are also unfamiliar to you.

“Cale-nim, based on their clothes they seem to be like me and got transported here.”

The man named Cale examined you from head to toe. As he did you can feel the pressure at his gaze. He wasn’t looking down at you, but there was still this aura around him that made you feel as though you were looking at a ruler.

“That seems to be the case. Who are you and where did you come from? Earth 1? Earth 2?”

“Neither, I’m from a place called Earth Zero. A land forsaken by everyone.”

You still don’t know whether you can trust these people. Somewhere in your heart was fervently hoping this world to be different from the one you were in. The rational side of you reasoned that it’s unlikely.

“...That’s something I’ve never heard of before, and I do not wish to hear about it. I don’t have any interest in hearing your story let’s just go.”

That’s easy enough to do so you followed him. The three of you spent a few minutes walking and soon you reached an underground villa.

Lively. 

That was the only way you can describe this place. Many people were doing their own thing. Knights training, servants running around, there were even kittens pawing Cale’s legs as soon as you arrived. It had been too long since you’ve seen this many people together, and even longer since you’ve seen harmony in one place.

“Amazing isn’t it? I was also shocked when I saw people for the first time after spending a lot of time in the Forest of Darkness.”

“Forest of Darkness… so that’s what it’s called. You seem to have gotten things wrong though Choi Han-nim. I had just arrived in that forest when you guys first saw me. Also, I’m more surprised at the fact that you guys aren’t killing each other.”

2 days

It has now been 2 days since you started lodging at this villa. Everyone treated you nicely. Well, some were more wary than others but it’s nothing compared to your world. No one asked you questions and they respected the fact that you're guarded against other people.

That was why you have decided to finally share information with Cale. These past 2 days were the most peaceful days you have experienced in a very long time. You didn't have to struggle to get food and lodging, you didn't have to be as afraid that you'd be killed in your sleep. That's why you only deemed it right that you share your knowledge with your benefactor.

“Um Choi Han-nim, is it possible to talk to young master-nim? I have something to share with him.”

Choi Han was the only one you were kind of comfortable with as he helped you adjust to this new world and taught you the things you needed to know. Meanwhile, the sword master was happy because it looked like you were finally opening up. He too knows the struggle of being unable to trust people easily.

During lunchtime that day you were invited to eat a meal with Cale in his room. When you arrive he has a gaze that seems to tell you to say whatever you want and say it fast.

“Young master-nim”

“Just call me Cale. You’re from Earth, I’m sure you aren’t used to calling someone young master.”

“...then Cale-nim”

During the two days you were here, you have learned that Cale prefers things to get to the point. Luckily, you’re the same.

“I feel like I have to share this information with you. Do you know why my world was called Earth Zero? It was because that world is terrible. If higher entities are real, then I think it’s safe to say that we have been abandoned by them.”

Cale looks interested as you tell the story of your world. Not you, but just your world as that is more significant during these trying times.

“That world is like a world that was beta-tested on and then left to rot as the player had no interest in it anymore. It is a world where monsters are the new humans, and the humans have become the insects.

We aren’t like the other Earths who have found ways to live and thrive even with the monsters. The monsters back there were on a different scale, we couldn’t figure out how to defeat a single one of them. Even with extensive research, we have failed to do what the other world has done.”

You peek at Cale who seems a bit confused as to why you’re telling him all these things.

“Transmigrators are not a thing in my world, I don’t know how I got here. But me being able to go here probably means that those indestructible monsters in my world could too.”

“Explain. How are you so sure of this?”

“Back when people in my world still had some hope and humanity in them, we had a research company that tried to find out how to deal with those things. I was one of the head researchers there.”

Cale pushes his hair back out of stress and you ignore the gesture as you continue to explain.

“I didn’t find out anything that could take the monsters down. However, I found out about other worlds. The other Earths. With that, I found out about transmigrators.

And I have found out that our world is incapable of having those kinds of people.

The same way we don’t have ability users… The main reason why we couldn’t fight and is now facing extinction.”

As Cale seems stressed enough already, you ask through your eyes if he wants you to continue speaking. He responded by gulping the tea he was drinking before nodding his head.

“As head researcher my previous knowledge, as well as my honed instincts are telling me that there is a portal of some sort involved. I’ve been investigating the Forest of Darkness the past two days and found no trace whatsoever.”

“So you’re telling me there’s a big chance that those monsters might crossover here?”

“Yes sir. There’s also a chance that the portal was an ability of one of the monsters. The monsters in my world have abilities and are constantly evolving.”

At this point, both of you have lost your appetite to eat. The same thing could be said for the children who had been quietly listening from the start.

Soon lunch ended along with your conversation with Cale. The young master has promised to look into it. He even said he would help you get materials to conduct proper research.

However…

18 Days and 7 Hours

That’s what a small timer says back at Earth Zero. This timer, as small as a finger, was attached to the ground where you were sleeping just 3 days ago.

And just underneath…

Lays a ruin of what looks like a temple. Despite being a ruin it still gives off a holy vibe and is made of white marble. Then a little bit above it is a floating broken sphere that looks like an orb.

[tubbypeddle]

parts 7 and 5 jojo's bizarre adventure matchup! with @critter-paw!!

this was interesting! it's been so long since i've had to think about part 7 beyond just johnny and gyro because it's been literally years since i've read part 7, but I thought it'd be interesting!

(author's note: credits to gif owners, bc I did not make them. <33 minor spoilers for the manga if anyone hasnt read it yet)

so!

you find yourself in the middle of the Steel Ball Run!

Which of those lucky competitors do you find as yours?

From part 7, I match you with...

Johnny Joestar!

now this one was a surprise to me!

Johnny's a little selfish and blunt, and with your rather anxious nature upon first meeting, it's bound for some hurt feelings. (probably on your end)

But, over time, as the two of you get to know each other a little more, and your more playful nature becomes known to him, he finds himself falling a little more for you.

He sees you less as a competitor, and more as a confidant. Now, he and Gyro get along fine, great even! But he still tells you things he's never told Gyro, things he never thought he'd ever tell anyone; about Nicholas, and his father. He appreciates how well you understand.

(yes, this includes the bug bites)

Johnny often finds himself doubting that he deserves you, even when the two of you aren't together yet. You're just so much better than he is, why would he ever taint you so? Not that you let him continue that train of thought.

You treat him as if he's fragile, and for the first time in his life, that thought doesn't send shivers up his spine. Because you don't treat him as if he's weak, y'know?

Rather, you treat him as if he's something precious, something to be cherished as much as protected. And it makes him feel all mushy gushy inside. The last time anyone's ever treated him like he deserved to be protected, Nicholas had still been alive.

He finds it hard to talk to you sometimes, you just make his throat close up, his words catch in his chest before it even reaches his mouth. Really, everytime you try to talk to him, his face is red and his hands are shaking.

Just as you find him precious, he finds himself being almost disgustingly protective of you. He's willing to sacrifice damn near everything, or everyone, for you, (Save Gyro, of course) the Holy Corpse parts, the world. He will do anything to keep you safe, he will sacrifice anything.

I think you'll find that he'd rather keep your relationship private. He's not a fan of having vulnerabilities known to the public, and that includes you. You are his most treasured person. He can't take losing another important person. If someone takes you from him, he might break for good.

He of all people understands how hard it can be to express your emotions, so he tries his best to be patient with you. He understands the temper and the repression and the awkwardness. Because he's the same. And that familiarity brings understanding. And understanding brings patience.

He makes an effort to learn how you want to say things without saying them, how you express yourself without expressing too much. He owes you at least that much for even giving him the chance of being your partner.

And every gift you give him, he takes great care to keep them safe. Or if they're practical items that he could use everyday, he uses them Every. Day. Until they're so worn they can barely be used anymore. He loves your gifts.

Out of everything though, he loves your humor the most. You're always teasing him, and you match his sarcasm on everything. It's like, when he looks at you, he finally understands what it must be like to love himself, too.

Honorable mentions!! Diego Brando he hates the world as it is, but you...you're something else. He's seen plenty of people like you before, hurt by the world with nowhere else to turn. But you're the first he's met who wasn't so openly disgusted with everything the world has become, and instead has become kinder because of it. He finds you absolutely breathtaking. Gyro Zeppeli He spends a lot of time with Johnny, and after you join their little duo and make them a trio, he's fascinated by you. You are so much like Johnny in every way that matters, and over time, he finds himself falling for you. It's just a damn shame that Johnny got you first...

Oh wow! How cute you and Johnny are!

Now! Back to the first universe! you find yourself in Italy, in 2001!

Now which of these lucky lucky gangsters find themselves belonging to you?

hmmmmmm

Bruno Bucciarati!!

Honestly, the two of you just bond over having grown up way too young. With each other, you two can be as freaky as you want. As childish as you want.

He also takes an interest in your interest in Criminal Justice. Ever the business oriented person, he takes in every bit of information you tell him and uses it to his advantage in his career. Every loophole, every law, he'll memorize it to his advantage.

He also can soothe your hot temper. It's not often that he'll set you off, and if he, or someone else does, he knows how to calm you down. You'll often joke and call it his Bucciarati Charm.

And he cherishes your bruised heart, because you gave it to him. And just like with every gift you give him, he protects it.

He also tries to nudge you out of your habit of apologizing all the time. It's heartbreaking that you feel the need to apologize for merely existing near him. He is your partner, there's nothing to apologize for when you're with him.

Your need to keep neat about things is something he appreciates. When he spends so much of his time around teenage boys and Abbacchio, it's easy to find himself lost in a mess. It's refreshing to have a partner who will help him clean up and keep neat. Even if you are a bit scatterbrained every now and then. He's pretty good at keeping people on track.

You want words of affirmation, he's got you. He loves praising you, especially when he sees you doing something that's normally outside of your comfort zone. He wants you to know that he's proud of you when he is. He's big on gentle communication, and is eager to let you know that.

And he absolutely adores your comfortable style. He likes knowing that you feel comfortable around him. It's domestic in a way he didn't even know he needed in his life.

Honorable mentions! Leone Abbacchio you're precious in a way that he doesn't see in the world very often. Even if he didn't trust you on the team right away, as you got closer to Bucciarati, he found himself longing for you.

This was fun to do again!! Ignore that I accidentally posted it prematurely, that never happened 🤭

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

So I am drinking for the first time in months because I have taken an accidental break from my evil medication and I'm taking advantage of that. But I'm here in the club pondering Lestat on this fine afternoon. Full disclosure I've been watching 2.07 and 2.08 in gifs, because the person who's link I have has not updated their Google drive. But I think most of the ramble I'm about to go oh about Lestat and race is contained within season 1.

So Lestat is an interesting case in terms of portraying a racist character because I think when you correct for the gothic horror shock value he's more true to what most racism actually looks like than like 97% of cases where it's depicted, but also there's a lot of people in the fandom who will insist that hes not racist, despite the fact that Claudia explicitly calls him out on it multiple times. And I think the reason for that is actually more complicated and interesting than standard issue Blorbo apologia or that they see a white person and are automatically more sympathetic to the white person, I'm not saying that both of those aren't part of it but I am saying that there's also a third genre of it.

So like, Lestat starts out as the nice white guy. He's not white he French, as Louis said. He thinks the way that Louis is treated by American white people is appalling. And then as they carry on, Lestat is horrifically racist in some places and kinda chill, never great, but on Louis' side, in others, and in other places he writes race off as a mortal affair and considers both his and Louis' race to be "vampire". And I actually think that's the closest we get to Lestat's actual beliefs on race. He thinks he's solved racism for Louis by giving him the dark gift, because now Louis can just eat people who are racist to him.

Lestat is very much a modern white person transplanted into the Jim Crow era in this way. He doesn't think he's racist. Racism isn't ideological for him the way it is for the other white people we meet in Louisiana who think that they are superior to Louis by virtue of their skin color. He doesn't see Louis as sub human (or sub-vampire). He even feels more affinity to Louis than to other white people by virtue of Louis being both a vampire and his partner.

However he is still racist. Because Lestat at his core is selfish. Louis is the superego and Lestat is the Id. Lestat is operating on a race blind mentality, but he will use other white people's racism to his advantage no matter how much it hurts Claudia and Louis, I would argue with only partial understanding of what he's doing at all.

That's not a defense of him. He knows he's hurting his family. He's doing it on purpose for the benefit of himself because that's who Lestat is. That's what makes him awful and abusive. He takes it to genre typical extremes, but I think sometimes the racial angle to whats going on completely escapes him, meanwhile Louis and Claudia remain hyper aware of it, because they have to be to navigate their lives in black bodies, undead or otherwise. This hurts Louis and Claudia just as much as it would hurt them if Lestat was a white hood wearing Klansman who thought he was superior to them. It doesn't matter in his impact that in his heart he is doing this because he cares about himself before anyone else, rather than because he thinks he's better because he's white. The impact is the same whether he's race blind or a Nazi. He is still weaponizing his whiteness against his loved ones. A person could argue it's worse than if he was a capital R racist because if he was Louis and Claudia would never have become loved ones in the first place

I think this is why a lot of people get incredibly defensive about Lestat being called racist. Because good liberal white people in America are raised to not see color. They're raised to think that MLK solved systemic racism and that treating someone different because of their skin color is appalling behavior. But they still use the systemic racism that exists around them to their advantage while maintaining this mindset, because like pavlovs dogs they know when certain behavior will benefit them but never stop to question why that behavior benefits them or wonder if it's hurting people around them. They will throw poc, even poc that they love and respect, under the bus without realizing that's what's happening.

Lestat holds a dark mirror up to those people. The writers show them a white man who is nice and colorblind and appalled by the treatment that Louis is receiving who still weaponizes the color of his skin against Louis. The first episode makes white people who care about POC want to like and relate to Lestat who is quickly developing a romance with Louis, and then it shows his horrible racist tendencies in subsequent episodes. Because of this white people who are allies and unfamiliar with the story will at first like Lestat but realize around episode three what's up with him and not defend him. But people in the more colorblind lane will defend him from the racism allegations to the death even if they acknowledge his other crimes because they don't want to admit that they themselves have done what Lestat is doing on a much smaller scale without the domestic abuse and vampire style violence.*

Consequently I think they had to make Lestat this type of racist because if they made him an ideological racist he couldn't have gone back to Louis with a satisfying ending the way we know he's going to and if he was actually not racist the way a good ally is (which is to say makes mistakes but owns up to them and corrects them) it would be wildly untrue to his characterization in the books. He must be selfish.

*I of course acknowledge that white people who are not ideologically racist fall along a gradient between ally and color blind and just because someone can recognize this behavior in others doesn't mean they don't occasionally ignore it in themselves but for my purposes I am making a binary. Nuance. You understand.