#i know he knows i like him cause he's said some things that kind of really reveal it but this is a battle i am not losing. I am wining

[marvel-spidey]

We’ve Still Got Time

Summary: After receiving some life-altering news, you try to make Bucky understand that it's time to let the past go. Inspired by the song “Falling Slowly” (in my mind it was written just for Bucky ok 🥺) Pairing: Bucky x reader Word count: 3.1k Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, lots of tears, extreme fluff. A/n: English is not my first language, so sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Enjoy! also, happy 2025 for us bucky girlies!!! our man is coming back soon! ✨

Bucky woke up to the sound of running water and a toothbrush being used. The white light from the bathroom spilled into the bedroom you both shared. The clock on his nightstand read 4:07 a.m. He slowly opened his eyes and turned to the side, realizing your side of the bed was empty. Furrowing his eyebrows, he wondered why you were up at this hour brushing your teeth. Unable to think of a reason fast enough, he decided to get up and check on you.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” he asked in a confused tone, his hoarse voice carrying the weight of sleep. His hair was a little messy, and his metal arm reflected the soft light from the bathroom. He was shirtless, and his gray sweatpants hung just above his hips.

“I’m sorry I woke you, Buck,” you replied, drying your face with a small towel. “I don’t know. I think I must have eaten something that didn’t sit well with my stomach. I just woke up feeling really nauseous. I threw up, but at least I feel a little better now.”

Bucky closed the distance between you, moving toward you slowly and giving you a quick kiss on the forehead. His expression was serious, his lips almost forming a pout.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I feel bad knowing you were sick all by yourself.”

He held your face softly, and you looked up at him, scanning his features and silently admiring how concerned he always was for you. You couldn’t understand how someone so caring could think such terrible things about himself and carry so much guilt when this was the man he really was: calm, reliable, attentive. You prayed he could see it someday, too.

“I wouldn’t wake you,” you replied, caressing his cheek gently. “I know those nightmares have been coming back these past few weeks, haven’t they?”

He looked down, ashamed he hadn’t been able to hide them from you. You always knew.

He sighed and nodded, reluctantly admitting the unpleasant truth. His nightmares came in phases. Sometimes, they haunted him almost every night with terrible flashes from his past – people he had killed, accidents he had caused, futures he had destroyed. Or worse, scenarios in which you would get hurt. Sometimes, by him. Those were the worst ones. Other times they would come less frequently, almost letting him believe that he was making progress in his “healing journey”, as you liked to call it. But they eventually came back. To him, they were proof he would never truly be at peace, never able to leave the past behind.

“Yes, as usual,” he admitted. “But it’s okay. You don’t need to worry.”

“That’s impossible,” you replied, already recognizing his habit of downplaying things and subtly pushing you away, retreating into his world of self-loathing. “I’ll always worry. I just wish you would have talked to me about it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said while engulfing you in a warm hug. He had a defeated expression in his features that made you even more worried. God knows what kind of thoughts he was having about himself. You wish you could take them away.

“Let’s just go back to sleep, so you’re rested and feeling better in the morning. Deal?” You smiled weakly and decided to let the matter go, for now. “Deal,” you agreed, letting him take your hand and guide you back to bed. For the next few weeks, you continued to have moments where you felt unwell.

You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but your body started to feel different. Your stomach was more sensitive than usual, leaving you with the now-familiar waves of nausea. You felt sleepier at random moments during the day, and your stamina during training sessions at the compound suddenly diminished. You felt more out of breath during workouts and sparring. And food began to smell and taste different. One morning, the pancakes Bucky made you almost daily for breakfast smelled “eggier” than usual—you could smell the eggs in the batter from what felt like miles away.

After weeks of feeling like this, you thought it was probably due to low vitamin levels and decided you should schedule a routine doctor’s appointment soon.

But in one of your weekly sparring sessions with Natasha, you started to feel a slight dizziness, so you asked her for a time-out.

“Are you okay?” she asked, raising one of her eyebrows.

“Yeah, I just—I don’t know. I’ve been feeling kind of weak for a while now,” you admitted, closing your eyes and resting a hand on your forehead in an attempt to steady yourself. “I think I just need to get some blood work done. It’s been a while since my last check-up.” “Weak how, exactly?”

“I feel like I’m always tired lately. More worn out. And my appetite is all over the place.”

Natasha looked at you with a suspicious expression before asking an unexpected question.

“Hmm, feeling weak, huh? Have you taken a pregnancy test?”

Your eyes shot open, and you stared at her, trying to process what she had just said. “What?”

“Yes, have you?” Nat repeated, crossing her arms and leaning into one hip with a slight smirk as if she knew something you didn’t.

“I- No, I- I didn’t… My period is only two days late, which is sort of normal for me. Do you think I should?” you questioned her, not knowing if you were talking more to yourself or to her.

“(Y/n) yes, you should! Have you talked to Barnes about it?”

“Not really. I didn’t pay much attention to this. I didn’t have time to.”

The truth was, you and the whole team had been preparing for an important mission in a few months, one that had been weighing heavily on Bucky’s mind especially, since it involved Hydra. The team was set to infiltrate a secret Hydra base in Hungary in order to retrieve intel on potential undercover Hydra agents within S.H.I.E.L.D.

You were almost sure this was the reason Bucky’s nightmares had gotten worse. He tensed up every time you or someone else mentioned the mission, or during training, probably dreading the feeling of going back to a place so connected to everything that he wanted to forget. He tried so hard to hide it but for you, it was so easy to sense his anxiety. The way his blue eyes grew distant, drifting to the floor as if trying to escape his own thoughts. Or how his fists clenched, fingers pressing into his palms almost to the point of pain, while he tried to take deep breaths every time Steve went over the mission details with the group.

“Then take the test,” Natasha urged, stepping closer and putting a reassuring hand on yours when she noticed the frightened look on your face. “If you’re pregnant, you need to know before the mission. And you need to tell Barnes. You both need to decide if going on this mission is still an option.”

“But Nat” you began, squeezing her hand, feeling so scared and unprepared for the scenario she just mentioned.  “I- I don’t know if Bucky is in a good headspace for this now. He’s been so off lately. The Hydra stuff has been really getting to him.”

Natasha offered you a comforting smile, her confidence and support unwavering.

“You’ll both be fine. I’m here if you need me. And Steve is, too.” Later that same day, you found yourself in a situation you never imagined you’d be in right now.

Trembling hands, tears streaming down your face, and your heartbeat drumming loudly in your ears. A white and blue pregnancy test sat on the marble counter of your bathroom. You stared at the word that appeared on the small screen.

+ Pregnant

You froze. You looked at yourself in the mirror and blinked a few times to make sure you weren’t dreaming. You weren’t. A wave of happiness washed over you. So much happiness. It was unexpected, yes, but you had always told Bucky he would be a wonderful dad. Yet every time you brought up the subject, he’d say he would like to be a father someday, but that it probably wasn’t a good idea. According to him, he could never be a good role model for a child.

Your first thought was running to Nat or Steve. You wanted to tell one of them and hear that everything would be alright, that Bucky would be alright with all of this. But it was already kind of late. They’re probably asleep by now, you thought to yourself. At the same time, you knew the person who really needed to know about this was in the living room, watching a random reality TV show with Sam.

You couldn’t bear to be alone another minute. The anxiety was overwhelming.

You decided to text Bucky and ask him to come to your room. If you went to the living room, there was no way Sam wouldn’t notice something was up, and you didn’t need another situation right now.

“Can you please come to our room, it’s urgent.” You texted and hoped he would check his phone as soon as possible.

Not even five minutes later you heard the door of your room open, followed by anxious footsteps entering the room.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay? I just got your text.” Bucky asked, his voice filled with concern.

“Hi, love” you said, stepping out of the bathroom and faking a half smile, searching for his hand and guiding him to the bed. You were terrified but at the same time you didn’t wanna scare him. “Come with me, I need to talk to you.”

“What happened?” Bucky questioned, his eyes quickly searching your face for any clues of what might have happened. You could see the worry creeping into his expression.

You sat next to him on the bed and held his hands tightly. The cold touch of his metal hand on yours offered a brief distraction from what you were about to tell him. You took a deep breath, still unsure how to begin. You decided that starting with some context might be easier.

“So, basically, for the past few weeks, I’ve started to feel a little… off. Do you remember the night you woke up because I felt sick in the middle of the night?”

“Yes, I do” Bucky answered calmly, trying to figure out where you were going with this.

“Well, besides that, I’ve been feeling different. My stomach has been constantly upset, my appetite has been strange, I’ve been feeling more tired than usual, and I–”

“(Y/n), are you sick?” Bucky interrupted, already imagining all the worst scenarios in his head.

“Buck, no” you replied quickly, closing your eyes and trying to breathe to calm yourself down. “Listen. As I was saying, I talked about these symptoms with Nat today and she… she asked... if I had already taken a pregnancy test.”

You paused, watching his face closely for a reaction. He seemed to freeze, taking a few seconds to process your words. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath – a breath that felt heavy with sadness. It broke your heart.

He opened his eyes again and they were glistening with tears. His eyes looked even more blue than they already were.

For a moment, you considered not saying anything more, but you knew he needed to hear it – all of it.

“So, I�� I took a test just now,” you continued, your voice trembling as tears began to run down your face. “And it’s… it’s positive.” You wiped your nose with the sleeve of your sweater, struggling to keep your composure.

“I’m sorry” you said crying, heartbroken because this was the reaction you had been dreading. You felt like you had ruined his life.

Now, he was the one silently crying. He still held your hands, his thumb softly tracing circles over your palm, his gaze fixed on your intertwined fingers.

“Please, say something, Bucky,” you pleaded, the silence only giving your mind space to imagine horrible possibilities.

“No, I’m the one who should be saying sorry, (Y/n),” he finally said, his voice breaking as tears slowly streamed down his face. “This baby deserves someone better. You deserve someone better.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, reaching out to hold his cheek, your heart breaking at the words that he had just spoken. “What do you mean, ‘we deserve someone better’?”

“Yes! Yes, you do!” he exclaimed, his voice rising as he finally let the storm inside him surface. “How is this baby going to grow up knowing all the awful things I’ve done?”

He got up from the bed, putting some distance between the two of you. He was still crying quietly, and it felt like he had been keeping this inside for so long. His body was facing the window. He couldn’t even look at you.

“You didn’t do those things, Buck. The Winter Soldier did,” you spoke clearly, hoping that he would somehow believe it.

“It doesn’t matter, does it? I still did it.”

“Of course it matters! You didn’t have a choice!” you raised your voice, frustrated at how he could still blame himself so much.

“Everyone tells me that, but it doesn’t help, you know?” he replied, turning his body back toward you. His voice was low. “When I lie down to sleep, I keep seeing their faces. I can still hear their cries, begging for help, for mercy.”

“Buck, I—I’m so sorry,” you told him, holding your tears back again. You’d give anything to take his sadness away.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be free from what they did to me,” he stated, his face showing a defeated expression. “I know Ayo got the Hydra programming out of my mind in Wakanda, but still… it’s all here,” he said, pressing his index finger to his temple. “I remember all of them, and I always will.”

You got up and decided to close the distance between you. You raised both of your hands to his cheeks and held his face gently, making him look at you. You needed him to hear every word you were about to say.

“Honey, look at me,” you began, your voice serious but soft. “I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel. And I want you to know I’d do anything – anything – if I could to make this suffering go away. It breaks my heart to see you in so much pain and not be able to do anything-”

“No, sweetheart, but you do,” he interrupted you, wiping the tears from your face. “You have no idea how many ways you’ve saved me.”

He closed his eyes and kissed your forehead. Both of you were crying again, and you could feel all his gratitude in that one kiss.

“You save me every day. It would be impossible for me to survive those nightmares if I didn’t have your face to look at every time I wake from one of them.” He gave you a sad smile while tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his hand resting on your cheek afterward.

You leaned into his metal hand and kissed his palm. Your eyes were once again glistening with tears.

“Do you see this, James?” you asked, hoping that he would understand what you were trying to show him.

“This is you,” you continued, placing one hand on his heart. “This is Bucky Barnes. The man who has a metal arm and touches me like I’m the most fragile thing in the world. The man who makes pancakes for me every morning. The man who’s afraid of punching me too hard in our sparring sessions, even though he knows I’m a kick-ass agent.”

“That you are,” he agreed, both of you crying and laughing at the same time. You quickly wiped his tears away.

“The man who watches trashy reality TV shows with his friend on a Thursday night. This is you. And this is the man who is going to be the father of my child,” you finished, placing his flesh hand on your belly.

He continued to cry. You just prayed that your words would finally make their way into his heart.

“So tell me, how could you say I deserve better? That this baby deserves better?”

He was still looking at his hand on your belly, trying to understand how he could still be worthy of having a family after he had destroyed so many others.

“Look at me, Buck,” you called, guiding his gaze back to you. “You suffered enough. More than enough. You’ve warred with yourself for so long. It’s time that you won.”

He closed his eyes and tried to absorb the words he had just heard. It was so hard for him to accept that he deserved happiness, but he was so grateful that you have never stopped trying.

“You made it. We’re here, and you made it. Now we’ve still got time. We’ve still got all the time in the world for you to finally live. Your life, how you want it,” you continued, kissing the palm of his metal hand again. It was your way of showing him that you loved all of him, even the part that brought him the most pain.

“This baby is so lucky to have you as a dad. And to be honest, this kid is going to brag so much to the other children about how his dad’s got a metal arm.” For the first time, you heard an honest laugh escape from his lips. The sound was wonderful.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but it must have been something really good,” he replied, finally pulling you close and giving you a warm kiss.

“I love you- we love you.”

“I’m so scared. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to… be a role model for someone.” You could see the worry in his eyes. He was genuinely scared.

“Bucky, yes, you do. You just have to be you. I don’t need you to be perfect,  I just need you to be here. Can you do that for us, Sergeant?”

He gave you a warm smile, filled with gratitude and hope - the hope you had just given him. He looked at your lips and kissed you once more, holding your belly delicately.

“Yes, I can, ma’am. Yes, I can.” he agreed easily “but.. speaking of sergeant, now there’s no way you’re going on that mission.”

“Excuse me? I’m still in the first few weeks of this pregnancy. And how about you? This baby will need both parents.”

“Okay okay, so we’ll let Uncle Steve decide who's going and who’s not. Deal?”

“Okay, sir. Deal.”

Well, you have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time Raise your hopeful voice, you had a choice You've made it now ~~ Falling Slowly (from the musical Once)

Feedback is always welcome, feel free to comment, like and reblog! Hope you enjoyed 🤍

[heartandbow]

Midnight Blue

BUCKY BARNES X FEM!READER SMUT

summary: Bucky hated you in many different ways, and tonight was no exception. tw; smut, choking, dom!bucky.

Despite Bucky's reputation of being big, bad, and dangerous, there is yet to be a time he ever scared you. Even now, where he was in the very building somewhere to kill you, you knew his only weakness — he couldn't sneak around.

It's not surprising when you think about it. With his death stare and metallic arms, anybody would spot him coming from a mile away. You just have to make sure you're faster than him, which happened to be your specialty. Being a thief for the last few years taught you everything there is to know about blending in with the shadows.

Which was a shame, you thought, because I look nice today.

You did look nice. You were currently in a gala for some valiant cause or other, hosted by some rich businessman you hadn't bothered to catch the name of. You had on your midnight blue gown, embedded with pearls that reflected off the champagne glasses and Rolex watches.

"Excuse me," one of the attendees said, tapping your shoulder. "Are you Miss Malley?"

"No," you smiled broadly, knowing the guy was about to hit on you any second.

"Oh, my mistake." He had a sheepish grin. "I'm Shane. Can I buy you a drink?"

"The drinks are free," you said, grinning right back.

"I know."

"Aren't you busy trying to find Miss Malley?"

"Who?" The smile hadn't worn off.

This particularly uninteresting conversation was cut short by sudden silence at the gala. The foolish sack of a man had diverted your attention just enough that you saw a metallic death stare at the end of the gala — a stare that seemed just for your particular demise.

Don't panic, you thought, staring right back. He wouldn't dare hurt you with this many people present. Even then, he was making his way towards you. You moved away, silent as a ghost.

With each turn of crowd, you realized you might quite possibly be stuck. Bucky had brought in reinforcement ranging from Natasha Romanoff to Captain America, all of them in regal formal attire and in different corners. No one except Bucky had spotted you, possibly because he was the only person who actually had a personal vendetta against you.

Get out, your brain said clearly. Get out before they bring you to Stark. You had enough beef with that man to last for a lifetime.

You grimaced, then looked for the exit. Not the one that the attendees use, no, that would be too easy. You headed for the staff exit, the one behind the kitchen.

---------------

Half an hour later, you were walking through the dark alley, your heels clinking against the pavement. You were exhausted from all the walk, but you were used to this dance by now. Move until the target is off your back. That's how it's always been.

You wondered if you'd ever get tired of the steps.

Someone whistled. You turned to see a man around his late 40s, clearly drunk out of his mind.

"How much for the night, sweetie?"

You squinted. He looked harmless enough. You kept on walking, ignoring his continuous calls behind your back.

"Don't be like that! What, I'm not young enough for you? I thought your kind took money from anyone with a dick!"

You had half a mind to punch him in the face with the hidden knife.

No, walk on. Last thing you need is a corpse on the street.

A second passed, then two. The man's immediate silence ticked off your senses. You turned around to see him on the floor, unconscious. Somehow, it did not look like it was the alcohol that took him out.

You were almost impressed when a knife appeared at your throat from behind.

"You're getting better at sneaking around," you said proudly. "You didn't have to knock him out though. Chap was not laying a hand on me."

"Shut the fuck up." Bucky's raspy voice sent a jolt of adrenaline down your spine. His anger was controlled, but you still could hear it.

"Your wish." You stepped on his shoes. He let out a pang of hurt, not expecting your heels to feel that sharp.

One moment of distraction, that's what cost him. You whipped your gun and faced him, smile on your face.

"How did you find me?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"That hardly matters." He put his hand out, grabbing the gun, or trying to anyways. You stepped out of the way just in time and he grunted.

"You need to loosen up. Like the night we did the Catherbury mission, remember?"

That only seemed to rile him up more. You didn't think he even cared that much about the fact that you were in Avengers a good deal of time before you sneaked into Stark's office, got his card, stole a great deal of gadgets and sold them off the black market. You didn't think he even cared you were the biggest thief in the city, one that fooled even the avengers.

His vendatta against you was personal, because he considered you his friend. The cold, cruel Bucky was duped for the world to see.

"I really think we should sit down and talk," you said, the gun still held high. "Everything I did was business Bucky, stop taking it so personally."

Bucky's face showed just a tinge of hurt, but then he hurled — no weapons, no hesitation. Just full-on pounced on you, and your back hit the wall.

"If everything wasn't so fucking personal, shoot me," he practically spat out those words.

You realized you hadn't even thought of using the gun that lay hanging lifeless from your hands. You tried to grip it, but Bucky pushed his hand on top of it, bending the metal seamlessly in a way it was upside down. You let it go and tried to move.

Bucky clapped his hands on the wall on either side of your head. His eyes were smeared with charcoal and he smelt like musky cologne.

"Where's your disappearing act now?" he whispered, making you feel all sorts of things.

"Let me go," you said, gritting your teeth. God, he was standing too close.

He bent his head down and brought his lips near your ears.

"You've no clue how long I wanted to have you like this," he said, making your heart skip a beat. "Unescapable, vulnerable, scared."

"I'm not scared."

"You should be." He put his hand — the non-metallic one — over your throat. His touch was gentle, but the message was clear; he could kill you in a touch.

Though it didn't help that you liked it a little too much.

"How did you find me?" you asked again, calmly.

"Shane is my friend. He put a GPS tracker on you. I knew you'd run so all I had to do was wait."

You were impressed yet again.

"How did Shane find me? I was blending in the crowd well."

Bucky's eyes shone brighter. "You weren't going to blend in with a dress that beautiful," he stopped, removing his hand. It was as if he just realized how close he actually was to you. His eyes slid down to your lips just a second. His hands started lowering from the wall to your waist.

Then his lips were on yours, and you could have sworn he put all his anger into it. One kiss and he was prying your lips open, making out with you in that dark alley with a knocked out man five feet away.

"James," you whined between kisses, pulling him closer. The moans did things to his brain. He slid his hands through the slit of your dress, grabbing your thigh with a force that had you unnerved.

"Can I—"

"Yes."

He closed your mouth with his other hand. "No, listen to me first. I want you to mean it. Completely. Because I don't know the things I'll do to you when you say yes."

In response, you took his hand from your thighs and slid them higher, right into your panties. You pressed your body against his and you could feel him being hard.

"I hate you," he said curtly, then picked you up with effortless strength. Two minutes and you were in a secluded part of the alley, and he was setting you down on an old bench. He bent down, keeping eye contact with you all the while.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, placing a kiss on your neck. You moaned, but didn't move. He dragged your lips from your collarbones to the edge of your neckline, and pulled the dress down.

Without waiting a beat, he took off your bra and kissed your nipples.

"Bucky," you whined, and all he did was bite down harder. He let his hand drag down and pushed two fingers right into your pussy. The pain was immediate and pleasurable. His pace was slow and you started grinding on his fingers for more friction.

"Shush," he said, taking off his fingers and setting you up straight. "Do you want me to fuck you, Y/N?"

"Yes," you said, moving in for a kiss. He turned his head away.

"Beg."

"Fuck me Bucky, please." You moved your hand to his pants, and he looked like he might lose all control. A few seconds of unbuckling and he took you in his arms, pressing you down to the bench and spread your legs wide.

You were wet already, and the sight of his big, hard cock hadn't helped. You were dripping down your panties.

"Beg," he said again, taking off your panties and throwing them away.

"Please fuck me, James, fuck—" you gasped when he thrust his dick in you. A moment of holding onto his hand and he was fucking you like you were his. He leaned over and bit down on your neck. A kiss and a few sucking and you knew that was going to leave a mark.

You didn't care. You were being dicked out of your soul and you were taking every second of it.

Then it stopped. He pulled away from you, his dick still hard. You were confused to see that big smile on his face, even more so when he started zipping his pants.

"You left me three months ago," he said, straightening his hair. He leaned down to kiss your forehead. "Next time you think of me, I want you to think of me fucking you like you're my bitch. How having my hands on your throat was enough to make you wet."

Revenge. That's what it was?

"You wanted to fuck me to make me regret lying to you?" you asked breathlessly, feeling ashamed that it already worked.

Bucky smiled. "I wanted to fuck you for a whole lot reasons Y/N, but I also want you to knock on my door and apologize, preferably on your knees and begging. On all fours. I'd sacrifice the rest of the night to see that."

He pulled you up and put the dress on tidily. "Goodbye. And, you really do look beautiful."

Motherfucker, you thought to yourself as he left.

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commissions info

kofi

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[mythalism]

Watching a video of the "fight Solas" ending and I find myself really disliking the fact that Rook declares that the Veil must be tied to the life of an elven god. It is treated like a fitting punishment for Solas, and even in the redemption ending, Rook all but orders Solas to sacrifice himself to maintain the Veil (or the status quo). I also can't help but feel that Solas, the last of the elven gods, is being sacrificed to maintain the Veil that he, alone, is somehow expected to magically maintain, allowing everyone else to go on their merry way. The implication here is that the elves are losing the last of their history, or pantheon, and this is a GOOD thing, and now we can all move forward and live peacefully. Am I overthinking this? 'Cause if this was the intention it does sound kind of bad.

yeah. i do agree and i dont think you're overthinking. and even if you were, im about to overthink way harder so don't worry. forgive me for getting on my legal philosophy soapbox but thats my whole brand at this point so here we go: it is a very retributive view of punishment and desert (deserved-ness) that i morally disagree with and feels outdated in the political landscape of 2024 to me PERSONALLY!! the foundation of retributive justice is:

(1) that those who commit certain kinds of wrongful acts, paradigmatically serious crimes, morally deserve to suffer a proportionate punishment; (2) that it is intrinsically morally good—good without reference to any other goods that might arise—if some legitimate punisher gives them the punishment they deserve;

obviously this is how much of the western world conceives of punishment and western media is consequently saturated with narratives that espouse this. most of the time, restorative justice is seen as mutually exclusive with retributive justice, though there are some people who say they can be used in tandem. i disagree anyway.

i think solas's endings grapple with these ideas in a way that is... messy. its confusing because we dont actually know if he is truly imprisoned, in the sense that he cannot leave. we know he is in A prison, though its unclear whether its the new regret prison that rook was in, or the black city (epler refused to clarify this during the AMA because of "spoilers", while trick said the implication is he is "going back to the prison", the epilogue slides imply he is in the black/golden city, as does his quest to heal the blight which only exists in the black city). we also do not know what capacity he has to leave. with lavellan or after being "redeemed" by willingly binding himself to the veil, he does not have the lyrium dagger but he does have the capacity to free himself from his regrets (if hes in the regret prison) or heal the blight (if he's in the black city), exemplified by his golden epilogue slides. if he is tricked or fought, he is not in a mental space to overcome his regrets and does not swear to atone by healing the blight, but he does have the lyrium dagger with him, so we can assume he can just use it to leave, the way we literally see him do earlier in the game lol. whatever message they are trying to send with his "punishment", i think it is muddied by the vagueness of what actually happens to him in the end and where he goes.

if the message truly is that he "deserves" to be imprisoned in the fade for his long list of crimes, i find that lazy and nonsensical. first of all, he loves the fade and has been dying to return to it so thats not really a gotcha, but more importantly, which crime warrants this punishment? and is his punishment proportional? this is impossible to answer because we do not know what the punishment truly is. we also dont really even know what crime he's being imprisoned for. taking down the veil? he didnt actually get to do that. are we punishing him for something he didn't do yet? is it for killing varric? sure, i guess that one works. its the strongest of the options we have, but the game is also pretty clear that its not what varric would want. what about all of the other people he has killed? the spirits he sacrifced in that siege on elgar'nans temple? the mages who summoned and corrupted wisdom which he incinerates alive? flemythal and felassan? do they deserve retribution via solas's imprisonment? would they want that? would they find it just and satisfying? the game does not ask these questions. so we dont know. does he deserve to be imprisoned for for what he did to the titans? ok, maybe. this is stronger than the others at least. but in the trick/fight endings he doesnt vow to heal the blight, so what does his imprisonment do for the dwarves and the titans spirits? this is what i mean when i say his imprisonment is retributive, but it is not even thoroughly retributive. it does not think deeply about what solas deserves for his crimes and the proportionality of such a punishment, but it is clear that we are supposed to that he deserves to be in prison, it is morally good that he is receiving "justice", and rook is a hero for imprisoning him. his punishment is presented as a moral good because he deserves it. unfortunately for veilguard, i dont think i would ever be convinced by this message in any narrative anywhere, even if it was better written, because this is not a moral philosophy that i subscribe to.

his redemption endings feel so much better and more satisfying because his vow to use his immortality and knowledge to heal the blight that he created is restorative and has a direct correlation to his crime of creating the blight by tranquilizing the titans in the first place. his imprisonment achieves nothing outside of removing him as a "threat", which is ruined by the fact that he has the dagger and can just leave lol. devoting the next significant portion of his life to alleviating the titans suffering is not just reparative remedy that directly affects the people and creatures he has harmed, it also actively makes the world of thedas a better place. to be clear, im not saying solas is innocent. he is guilty. of a lot of things. he bears responsibility for a lot of things. he would qualify as a war criminal. but i do not believe in retributive justice. veilguard having solas kill varric because trespasser made me sympathize with him "too much" is not going to make me believe in retributive justice. for the non-atonement imprisonment endings to feel satisfying you have to subscribe to this ideology of moral desert and punishment and a lot of people do. the entire american carceral system is founded on it. so is christianity. and bioware clearly subscribes to it as well. you might disagree with me and subscribe to it yourself. thats fine. but i believe it has caused a lot of harm to our world and continues to do so. seeing it manifested in media is always disappointing to me.

regardless of the technicalities of his imprisonment, his binding to the veil is the one thing that happens regardless of his ending, and i agree that it is icky for similar reasons. the veil is his responsibility, as is the blight which he will be keeping contained with his life, so i guess you can interpret it as proportional? but again, what crime is he paying for with binding his life to the veil? is he not paying for a crime at all? is binding his life to the veil even part of his punishment? or is it just something he has to do because he's the only person alive that can do it? if that is the case, that it has to be him because he is the only proper sacrifice, and not that he deserves it, then what does it say about rook that they sacrifice someone undeserving? if he is deserving, why exactly? if he wasn't the only elven god left alive, would he still be deserving of such a fate? if the answer is no, then he does not deserve to be bound. what gives rook the right to make this call? based on the convo they have before the ending where they plan to bind him to the veil, its not clear if rook binds him because they think he deserves to be bound to one of his greatest regrets, or because he's quite literally the only option. either way, i think there is an argument for it being cruel, and unearned coming from someone like rook, who really has barely been a victim of solas's sins outside of a 2 week time-out. literally harding binding him would've been far more satisfying. or imagine if fragment mythal went rogue and did it, or morrigythal did. mythal would not be justified either but at least it would be fucking banger and evil and interesting of her. anyway.

i think your point about what it means for the elves to lose their final living god, outside of mythal who is [redacted] ? is a fantastic point. through solas's binding, they also lose the veil-less future he represented that was promised to be a better world for them. would it really have been? probably not. solas clearly thinks so. but we will never know lol. the failure of the story to grapple with the dissolution of the elves entire belief system is one of its most egregious ones, and i think this is a symptom of it. dragon age's elven lore got itself into a weird spot by veilguard and i think they just abandoned it rather than attempting to write themselves out of it. i love stories that grapple with the average person's culpability as complacent in imperialism. this is part of why fullmetal alchemist is my fav story of all time and you should watch it (fullmetal alchemist:brotherhood on hulu please im begging. but you have to watch the "brotherhood" one not the other one. its complicated dont ask). veilguard seemed to want to do something like this, but they got themselves into weird spot with the elves because their evil, slavery-based empire is a thing of the distant past, and in the present they are systemically oppressed and have no social or political power.

usually in these sorts of stories, someone currently living in an imperialist society who is directly benefiting from that imperialism is confronted with their complacency and asked to rise to the occasion of standing up for what is right, despite their material best interest. they often sacrifice their privilege as a benefactor of imperialism in the present to attempt to make up for the evils that system has inflicted on others. fmab does a wonderful job of this. there is at once both an acknowledgement that no, this is not literally YOUR FAULT, you did not order a genocide or press the nuke button, but you have benefited from it and/or participated every day of your life, whether that is through the stolen land you live on, the fact that you have never seen war in your home country, the way you can buy whatever fruit you want at the grocery store any time of year, or the way your tax dollars fund the bombs being dropped on children thousands of miles away, and you do have a moral obligation to do whatever you can to fight back. i believe this is a very important lesson for the average american (and canadian since we are talking about bioware), and anyone that lives in an imperialist country, that a lot of people have not yet learned ... lol.

this feels along the lines of what veilguard was going for (or maybe they werent and this was accidental, idk which is worse), but it fails because the elves are not currently benefiting from their past empire, like at all. actually, they live in squalor and at risk of constant violence from human empires. they have experienced centuries of genocide, violence and slavery at this point in modern thedas. the imperialistic success of the elvhen empire has absolutely no bearing on their current lives, it provides them with no privilege, and it gives them no culpability in its evils. they are thousands of years removed from it. and its not like "oh the british empire was dissolved 50 years ago so imperialism is over" no. because britain's wealth and power are a direct result of that imperialism, thus they do still benefit from it presently, even if the "official empire" is dissolved. this is true for most empires. but with the elves of thedas, they have none of the power or privilege that the elvhen empire accrued through its evils. if anything, it is tevinter that benefits most from the lost elven empire considering how much of their society is founded on its technology, and the fact that. you know. they are currently, modernly, presently an empire based on slavery. OF ELVES. so why, then, does veilguard present the elves as culpable? why does the angry titan harding creature say they are "thriving" at the titans expense? why does bellara take personal responsibility for the evils that elgar'nan and ghilan'nain commit when she had nothing to do with them? the messaging with this is so strange. it would make sense if elves were still the ruling class but... they're not. the only remnants of the empire that they have access to is their own bodies... which are systemically, bought, sold, and mutilated. though the game does erase much of the racism they face in what i can only assume was an attempt to make this work.

the combo of this + solas's trick/fight endings for what is fundamentally, according to this game itself, a desire for a better world for elves and spirits, no matter if it is misled or his methods are violent, is a depressing, bleak message that i find to be irresponsible to be sending in 2024 and considering the real world groups of people that elves are based on, most notably of the dalish as indigenous north americans. veilguard sees elves lose not just their understanding of their past, dissolving their entire worldview, their conception of their cultural identity, and their relationship to their religion, all without sufficient (or any) exploration of how devastating such a process would be, but by imprisoning solas, erasing his followers and supporters from existence, and binding him to the veil, it also robs them of the possibility of a more just future... while asking you to cheer because he deserved it. dont try to make the world a better place unless you do it the right way. work with the world as it is. your attachment to the past (when you werent being genocided regularly) is a disease. you deserve to go to jail because you tried to change the world in a way that that was too disruptive. get over it! move on! rot in jail!

[bratminksstuff]

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯ᯓᡣ𐭩

Reader x Azriel | You confess ur feelings for Azriel but he rejects you cause he has feelings for Elain

warnings: slight angst, rejection, sadness

a/n: This is my first story so I'm sorry if I made alot of mistakes

word count: 598

The stars shimmered faintly overhead as Y/N stood on the balcony of the House of Wind, the cool night air brushing against her skin. She clutched the edge of her cloak tightly, summoning every ounce of courage she had. Tonight, she would tell him—Azriel, the shadowsinger who had somehow crept into her heart.

She turned at the sound of his quiet footsteps, his presence as soft as the breeze. Azriel stepped onto the balcony, his golden-brown skin glowing faintly under the moonlight, his hazel eyes unreadable as they met hers. His shadows whispered around him, darting close before retreating, as though they, too, were wary of what was to come.

“You wanted to speak with me?” he asked, his voice a soft rumble, carrying the gentleness that always made her feel safe.

Y/N nodded, her heart hammering in her chest. “I did. Azriel, I—” She paused, her breath catching. “I need to tell you something.”

His gaze softened, his head tilting slightly as he waited. The silence stretched, and Y/N realized there was no going back.

“I care about you,” she confessed, her voice trembling. “More than I ever thought possible. I know you might not feel the same, but I needed you to know.”

For a moment, Azriel’s expression was unreadable, his shadows curling tighter around him. Then, with a sigh so quiet it was almost swallowed by the night, he spoke. “Y/N, you are kind, brave, and more extraordinary than you realize. But…” He hesitated, his eyes dropping to the ground for a fleeting moment. When they met hers again, they were filled with a sorrow so deep it nearly broke her. “I can’t give you what you want.”

Her breath hitched. She had expected rejection—prepared herself for it—but the weight of his words still struck her like a blade. “Why?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

His shadows swirled as if to shield him from the rawness of his own emotions. “Because my heart…” He paused, as though searching for the right words. “It belongs to someone else.”

Y/N’s throat tightened, and she knew without asking who he meant. She had seen the way Azriel’s gaze lingered on Elain, the softness in his expression whenever she was near. She had known, deep down, but some part of her had hoped—prayed—that she could change his mind.

“I’m sorry,” Azriel said, stepping closer but keeping enough distance to avoid giving her false hope. “You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart. And I… I’m not that person.”

Y/N forced a smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize. You can’t help who you love.”

Azriel’s jaw tightened, his regret evident. “I wish things were different.”

“So do I,” she murmured, her voice cracking.

For a moment, they stood in silence, the distance between them feeling wider than the entire Court of Nightmares. Finally, Y/N straightened her spine, summoning every bit of strength she had left. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

Azriel’s gaze lingered on her for a moment longer before he nodded. “If you ever need a friend, I’m here.”

She nodded, though she wasn’t sure she could bear to see him again so soon. Without another word, Y/N turned and left the balcony, her footsteps echoing in the quiet night. She didn’t look back.

As she descended the stairs, her heart aching, she whispered to herself, “I’ll be okay. Eventually.”

And she would be. Though it would take time, Y/N knew she would find her own path—one that didn’t lead to Azriel’s shadows but to her own light.

[universalzones]

"I think they did right after Eggman was beat and he lost his control over the entire world, though I think it was rushed for the most part. I didn't really have time since I was busy blowing up any standing bases, though if I were to guess he might've ran unopposed if no one really heard about it. It would make sense too. I wouldn't be surprised if not many wanted be President with how much work there was to do to get things back in order." The entire planet was a mess from when Eggman has complete control of the world.

"That is a sound theory, and if he has strong ties to G.U.N then I'm sure they wouldn't have had second thoughts about 'convincing' anyone attempted to run against Thawne not to do so." Blaze would turn her focus on the Chaotix. "Perhaps you time might be better looking into this Thawne. I still hold hope that he didn't have any involvement and is intentions are genuine with his concerns."

"Maybe we could simply ask him some questions? I mean, it can't hurt, and he shouldn't have any reason to lie to us. I know this is me being optimistic, though I just hope I'll see the best in people." Belle wasn't really using reasoning rather than feelings with what she just said, though sometimes being kind and direct got answers. Throwing out the idea doesn't hurt anyone either.

"That's... foolish thinking." Kitsunami seemed to want to say something else, though he bite his tongue and softened his words. The fennec actually liked Belle's company so didn't want to be mean to her. "Though it's not like it'll do any harm. The worse that could happen is he deflects or simply refuses to answer. If you want to ask then ask, though I personally think its a waste of time."

===========================================================

"Sounds like you'll miss me being a pain in your ass, which is just weird. Though I guess no one on this team is normal." Surge wasn't good at this, mainly because she simply expected them to shut her out and leave her to face the music solo style. Now they were saying they'll miss her and how she caused problems? Ugh, why does being a good guy have to be so weird.

"...Just take it easy Lanolin. I know you gotta deal with Tangle being Tangle, though you seriously need to relax more. Plans are fine, though if you wanna deal with Eggman you gotta learn to role with the punches and change on a dime. I know it's sucks to be put in a position like that when you gotta lead, though I think it's important." Why was Surge trying to give advice in a situation like this?

"I could dash you where you want to go before heading to the command center. I know a lot of people get stomach sick, though I've got more control now, weirdly enough." Surge actually had a moment to process just how stable her powers were. Made her wonder how tied her emotions were to her powers. Well, not like she'll have time to explore that.

That village, they condemned her the moment they found out who tinker was. It was also ground Zero for the Zombot virus. Of all the people they were hit the hardest. They of course put that blame on poor Belle. Miles couldn't help but feel like it was a sore spot for her, and hoped deep down that she was right. They'd have to contact him, get papers and confirm it all. But he knew it was just as likely even the mayor would turn on her. He'd be there to help her through it regardless--- chaos he hoped she was right.

Miles flipped through his phone as he looked for information on this president. A Name, a birthdate anything he could use to give him a clue about who he was.

" Here we go, President Thawne... first name Luthian... 28 years old, served in GUN from the time he was 18, fought with GUN in the War-- yea right more like cowered in a hole. Not much else here... just lots of photos of him with Abe. Guess they knew each other... still young for a president... did they even do an election i wonder? "

He flipped through the photos and checked his social media but until he could hack in and check things. He could only tell so much.

" Likes his guns, gives to charities, helps out at the local homeless shelter... guy is squeaky clean... like to clean, this feels--- Staged? no angry posts, no joking posts... nothing from before the war... Dunno if this will help us, and its very sus..."

The chameleon didn't seem phased by her decision, and frankly if she knew someone to counter that ability good. But he guessed they'd get involved before it was over. Plus they knew the lay of the land well enough. No point in arguing right now, they'd have time to discuss it later.

" As you wish princess, we'll be here if you need us. "

==========================================

She chuckled at Surge being upset that she wasn't angry, that it might be easier if she was. If anyone was angry it was Sonic, pissed that she wouldn't fight for her freedom. But that wasn't to say Lanolin wasn't feeling emotions. She was, but they were a jumble of sadness and feeling like she failed Surge on some level. She hugged herself and looked down at her feet, just for a moment that stern façade she wore faded away.

" Anger would be easy... i wish i could be angry at you. Yelling would have been so much easier. But i just feel... i'm going to miss you Surge. Even your little outbursts, and raiding the fridge at all hours of the night. Our little arguments about how to handle missions... i'll miss it... "

She said in a softer tone less the commander and more like a friend, even if they had there problems. She saw Surge as more then just a weapon, more then just some soldier.

" But i guess i'm being sappy, and sentimental--- Yes Report to the command center. Get Miles to get your testimony and get it all on tape concerning that day. I have one more stop to make, and then i'll be back at the command center. "

She took a deep breath and let her personal feelings go. She held a hand out to Surge as if to shake her hand.

" It was a pleasure working with you Surge... I hope we one day in the future we can do so again..."

[idk6123]

Abusive And Loving (Soldier Boy X Male Reader)

Long before The Seven, there was another superhero group, Payback. And although they appeared grandiose with their god-like strength, like every superhero group, secrets lurked behind the scenes. The Seven weren’t the first to have these secrets. At least Payback appeared to have things under control, back in 1980. That’s what the public thought, at least—not the members of Payback.

As the entire team stood frozen, their teammate, Black Noir, had just been beaten to the floor. But that didn’t stop Soldier Boy, who continued pounding on his teammate. While everyone was too scared to intervene, one person wasn’t.

“That’s enough!”

Soldier Boy was shocked when his arm was pulled back right before he could kick Black Noir again, with Noir spitting blood. The leader turned to see his teammate, Chrono, also known as Y/N—the man who could manipulate time itself.

Soldier Boy yanked his arm back and glared. “Don’t fucking interfere!”

Just as he was about to throw a punch at Y/N, the time manipulator casually dodged. Enraged, Soldier Boy kept trying to punch him. But no matter how many punches he threw, Y/N dodged every one. Sometimes it took effort, but mostly it was effortless, which only annoyed Soldier Boy more.

“I can just rewind everything. Stop trying to hit me.”

Despite Y/N’s logic, Soldier Boy kept going. It got to the point where he chased Y/N out of their hideout and into an empty park in the dead of night. Even as time passed, Soldier Boy’s anger didn’t subside.

As he charged into the park, searching for Y/N, he ran past a tree—only to get smacked by a branch. Falling to the ground, Soldier Boy quickly looked up, his face stinging with pain, and saw the culprit.

“Holy fucking shit—how many times do we need to do this!?” Y/N sounded annoyed. “You always try to hit me, but you can’t, and you know fucking why!”

“Then stop rewinding and let me beat the shit outta you!” Soldier Boy shouted, standing up, ready to fight again.

“Oh my—I'm going to try something...” Y/N muttered.

Right before Soldier Boy could strike, Chrono touched him. The soldier froze completely, suspended in time. Though he could look around, listen, and breathe, he couldn’t move. When he tried to talk, all he could manage were muffled hums.

“Oh, cool, my stasis works.” Y/N said, sounding surprised. Soldier Boy tried to glare at him, but it was futile. “Anyway, I’m fucking done with you trying to beat me into a pulp, so I’ll give you a couple of options. One, I can kill you. Two, I can turn you into a child or something and raise you right. Three, we can talk, like… actual adults are supposed to do. …Dunno about a fourth.” Soldier Boy merely stared at him, not that he had much choice. “Right, you can’t answer. Just… hum the number of times for the option you want.”

After some hesitation, Soldier Boy gave up his pursuit of beating Y/N and hummed three times.

“Finally…” Y/N muttered as he removed the stasis, causing Soldier Boy to fall to the ground. “If this is some trick, I swear—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Soldier Boy stood up. Though he wasn’t trying to fight anymore, he was still pissed.

“Okay, that’s an improvement.” Y/N said casually. “Look, I’m gonna make this easier for you. Since you’re not a talker—clearly, may I add—I know a few things about processing your emotions.”

Soldier Boy groaned. “Please shut up.”

“We can go on a road trip.” Soldier Boy looked annoyed as Y/N listed out suggestions. “We can paint or do some kind of creative outlet—really fun, by the way. Uhm… a rage room, but I think we’d need a rage building for you.”

“You’re making this really hard to not beat you.” The soldier shamelessly commented.

“Fine, fine. Uhh… alcohol and drugs probably aren’t good. Oh, how about sex?”

Soldier Boy stared at Y/N, trying to read if he was joking or not. “I hope you’re not saying we should fuck.”

“Why not?” Y/N replied nonchalantly.

“I’m not a faggot.”

“Yeah, and every rich guy says that too until they go on a business trip with their ‘friends.’”

Soldier Boy sighed, looking around to make sure no one was nearby. When he looked back at his teammate, he saw a smirk. Resigning to his frustration, the soldier unbuckled his pants and got ready to take them down.

“Get those fucking pants off.”

-

Ever since that day, Soldier Boy’s and Chrono’s relationship evolved into something more than just teammates. Although it wasn’t official, they formed a bond that was more than just hook-up partners. While Soldier Boy didn’t notice it, Chrono did.

During their stay in a war zone, the team holed up in a hotel. Feeling his usual anger, Soldier Boy sought comfort beyond beating someone down. After some fun minutes, he and Y/N lay under the sheets, completely naked. Feeling slightly relieved, Soldier Boy grabbed a cigarette and began smoking.

“Wasn’t the sex good enough?”

Soldier Boy glanced back with a smirk. “You could be more… licky.”

Y/N chuckled. “Next time I lick your pistol, soldier.” The brunette chuckled again, taking another drag from his cigarette. That’s when the other hero leaned closer, looking more serious. “…Do you notice we’ve been spending more time together?”

Soldier Boy looked intrigued. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I… I feel like I see you differently. Instead of that maniac who beats his teammates, I see you as a troubled man… that also beats his teammates.”

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?” Soldier Boy asked, genuinely interested rather than angry.

“Yeah.”

Soldier Boy raised an eyebrow. “Well, what is that supposed to mean? Out with it.”

“I… I feel like we’re a couple.” The soldier looked surprised, while Y/N seemed a bit nervous—a rare sight. That meant one thing.

“You didn’t rewind this before.”

“Yeah… this is the first try to tell you how I feel…” Y/N admitted, expecting Soldier Boy to be angry, but instead, he just looked intrigued. “I’m okay if you don’t feel this way, but…”

“You love me?” Soldier Boy asked bluntly.

“…Yeah, I guess.”

Soldier Boy hummed, taking another drag before speaking. “Look, I’m okay with this whole hooking-up thing, but I’m not a faggot.” He then glared at Y/N. “Not a fucking joke.”

“I wasn’t.”

Sensing Y/N’s sincerity, Soldier Boy eased up slightly. “It’s not that I hate this. It’s just wrong to be with another man. I get that things are more accepting, but… I’m not supposed to be… this.”

Y/N hummed quietly. “You haven’t said what you really feel.” Soldier Boy wondered what he meant. “…You only said how society views this, not how you feel.”

Soldier Boy stared at Y/N, thinking for a while before answering. “I can’t promise you anything. I don’t want a relationship where we hold hands while walking, or I take you out to the movies, or we get married and everyone’s there to see it.”

“You still haven’t said how you really feel.”

Letting out a sigh, Soldier Boy wished Y/N would stop questioning him. “Look, it’s not fucking easy. Just because I want to be with you doesn’t mean we fucking can!”

While Y/N flinched, he soon calmed down. “You want to be with me…”

The soldier breathed deeply as he calmed down. “I guess…” With hesitation, he moved his hand to Y/N’s face, touching it gently. “This stays fucking between us. If you ever tell anyone—”

“You kill me. Fair.” Y/N smiled softly. “So… we’re a couple, Ben?”

Benjamin eventually cracked a smile. “Couple is a strong word… but, if you say we’re a couple, I won’t argue.”

-

A year has passed, during which Y/N and Ben often went on business trips that doubled as romantic getaways. Today, Chrono has a surprise for his lover. Inside the car, Y/N is driving while his boyfriend’s eyes are covered with a towel.

“When you said my eyes had to be covered, I thought we were doing something freaky.” Soldier Boy comments with a smirk. “Or that it was taking you this long to get to the freaky part.”

“Nothing weird. You just have to wait and see the surprise.”

As the trip continues, Soldier Boy smiles carefree, alongside his partner. Wearing something casual, it feels like one of the rare times they’re just normal people.

A couple of minutes later, they arrive at their destination. Y/N helps Ben out of the car. The soldier instantly feels grass beneath his shoes. As they walk, Ben begins to guess what the surprise could be.

“All right, we’re here.” Y/N says with excitement.

“Finally.”

“Now, three… two… one…”

The blindfold is removed. Ben now sees a big farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Despite the isolation, the place feels peaceful. There aren’t any farm animals or crops yet, but the house looks like it has potential.

“Don’t tell me we’re going to be farmers.” Ben says.

Y/N chuckles. “Even better.” He steps in front of his partner, holding up a set of house keys.

Shocked, Soldier Boy doesn’t know what to say. “You bought a house?”

“I bought a house for us.” Y/N responds with a smirk while Ben still looks stunned. “Somewhere peaceful, so we don’t get bothered by anyone anymore.”

“You’re thinking about retiring?” Soldier Boy already sounds hesitant.

“No. This is just our getaway place.” Y/N looks back at the large farmhouse with a smile. “Just… somewhere we can go to pretend the world isn’t shit. I don’t expect us to come here every day, but… once in a while… it could be fun.”

As Y/N looks back, Ben relaxes a bit. “And here I thought you wanted us to retire, get married, grow old, and start a family.”

Chrono chuckles. “Maybe later.” He places the keys into his partner’s hand and holds it. “I get that you’re still struggling with being with another man. And… I’m proud of you for handling it so well. But I still want to feel like we’re a normal couple.” Soldier Boy listens closely as his boyfriend shares his thoughts. “So… can we at least try to act like a normal couple?”

“You say that, but who’s going to act like the wife between us?” Ben asks. “I’m not one to cook for others.”

“We’ll both be the husband, dumbass.” Y/N laughs. “Well, guess we’re boyfriends for now.”

Ben raises an intrigued eyebrow. “For now?”

Y/N sighs. “You know what I mean.”

Ben chuckles. “Fine. If it makes you happy, let’s stay here for a couple of days.”

“Thanks.” Y/N says with a genuine smile.

-

When nighttime arrives, the couple is watching TV. Feeling cheesy, they’re watching TV shows and movies featuring Payback. With popcorn on Y/N’s lap, they’re spooning while eating from the bowl. Dressed in sweats, they feel comfortable and relaxed.

“You’re a great singer.” Y/N comments.

“Thanks.” Soldier Boy replies. “And you’re a great actor.”

“Yeah, but I kinda had a bad attitude behind the scenes. Made sure to kill those damn directors before rewinding back.” Y/N laughs, taking another handful of popcorn. “Kinda wish it could be like this every day.” He looks back at his lover. “I know we’ve got jobs as heroes, but… maybe retiring isn’t so bad.”

“I get that.” Ben says, feeling completely comfortable. “Out here, I can just be myself.”

As the couple smiles lovingly at each other, staring into one another’s eyes, Ben suddenly has something to say.

“Maybe one day, we can get married and just… live here.”

Y/N’s smile grows. “For someone who didn’t want to admit we’re a couple, you sure grew out of that.”

“I’m serious!” Ben laughs. “I… really like where we are and where we’re heading.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Ben says confidently. He then gets an idea. Standing up from the couch, causing some leftover popcorn to spill onto the floor, the soldier gets down on one knee.

Y/N looks a bit surprised. “Ben, what are you doing?”

“Y/N, I know getting married to another man isn’t legal, but fuck the details. What we can do is get married illegally or something. You’ll be my husband, and I’ll be yours. We’ll live our lives in secret, but at least we’ll be married.”

As Y/N smiles, the soldier knows what his answer will be.

“Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Y/N quickly pulls his fiancé into a hug, which Ben happily returns.

“Fuck!” Y/N exclaims.

“What?”

“You didn’t get me a ring!”

Ben chuckles. “I’ll buy you one later.”

As they stop hugging, the brunette kisses his fiancé. No matter how bad things might get with Payback, they know they’ll always have each other.

[sakuraswifee]

Mike contradicts himself during the entire "confession" and it honestly makes me laugh.

Okay so, I know there's probably a lot of posts that talk about this already, but I reallyyyy needed to yap.

(Couldn't find another image)

Once I came across a Mileven stan claiming that saying that Mike was lying during the confession scene is, apparently, an insult to Finn's acting (doesn't even make sense cause you can tell Mike isn't being honest BECAUSE of what he SAYS, not because Finn is "acting like he's lying").

So, if you ever see this (since you turned off the comments on that post), here is why Mike lied or contradicted himself or however you please to call it:

Monologue: "I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods"

The same day, he thought of a plan to send her back from where she came from.

Monologue: "And I knew somehow then, in that moment, that I loved you"

The first thing that comes out of his mouth the moment he sees her is "That's not Will". After that he tries to send her back from where she came from, then takes interest in her after finding out she has powers and knows something about where Will is.

Monologue: "I love you on your good days and your bad days"

On her bad day, when she got bullied and hit Angela, Mike gets paralleled to Dr. Brenner ("El what did you!?") Her ABUSER. Then, he makes snarky comments during dinner. I see Micheal, I see.

Monologue: "I love you with your powers and without, bla bla some shit about moving mountains"

It's genuinely hilarious how this season not only has she shown discomfort about being seen as a superhero, only being defined by her powers, BUT SHE TOLD HIM. (The short letter that is given to Mike after they take her, where she says she's back to being a superhero..). So, who in the right mind thinks she was happy to hear him talk about her powers ONLY, but not even about her qualities?? Her kindness, her courage...for God's sake!

What's also hilarious to me is how people say that HIS WORDS are what gave her the strength to fight, "Love saved Hawkins!!" Yeah right😭

El sure looks happy in those scenes, not to mention how the vines tighten around her neck while he speaks!!

Then, won't you know it, flashbacks of El and MAX's friendship show on screen, only after El is able to free herself.

To finish off, El is clearly not happy with him after the monologue, which is strange, since he finally said what she wanted to hear "I love you!".

However, El is not stupid, she can tell when he's lying and it's not like she couldn't hear Will telling Mike "he's the heart", my girl can tell that is weird for her bf to need the support of his completely platonic buddy to say how he's feeling.

Hope I kept you entertained and excuse possible mistakes, english is not my first language💪 can't wait for Mileven's break up and the rise of platonic Elmike.

[lovelizards]

"Now, Meres, can you tell me what it is you've done wrong?"

The weight of the slender man's legs as they crossed at the ankles and rested on Meres' shoulder was nothing compared to the intense pressure he felt under his master's cold gaze.

How long had it been since he'd been punished?

The moments where he found himself on his knees begging for forgiveness were few and far between in the last few years.

Since he was broken in, Meres had always been a good dog.

No matter what the order was, no matter how fraught his sleep was with the nightmares of things he'd been forced to do, he had done them without questioning.

"Meres." The slender man spat his name like an insult.

"F - forgive me, my lord, I -"

"I asked what you did wrong. I'm waiting for your answer."

"Ah, forgive me, I - I -" Meres hesitated, because the answer wasn't exactly as clear as he thought it was. Should he just apologise for everything all at once? Surely the punishment would be easier if he just got it all out and admitted his mistakes.

The slender man sighed, nudging his head with the side of a shoe.

"You've never been the brightest dog, but must I really repeat myself a third time? Don't you know you shouldn't do things you'll have to ask forgiveness for in the first place?"

"Y - yes, of course, my lord...I - I have been hesitant in following your orders. And - and I've been too familiar with your possessions. And - "

The slender man interrupted him with a kick to the face.

It was the shock of pain rather than the force of it that knocked him, unbalanced, onto his back. Hot blood streamed from his nose and he coughed on it.

With a heavy sigh, the slender man stood up, and put pressure against one of his legs with the flat of his shoe, straining the muscle. Meres grimaced against the pain, but dare not utter a sound.

"Usually I wouldn't care about a neutered dog playing with some wild bird, but it seems like that filthy thing is a bad influence on you."

"A - a bad -?" Meres coughed, "No, she - Iska isn't -"

"Don't you know how cunning a mage is, Meres?" The slender man's tone softened, "they will say and do anything for their own benefit. Did you suppose breaking the tether I have on you would win her over? That the two of you might run off to a happily ever after?"

Meres didn't dare meet the man's eyes.

It was true that he'd been trying to fight against the enchantment.

Iska had said only the weak-willed could be controlled. She...had believed in him, that he could fight it. The arcane mind control that sometimes blinded him and caused him to lose hours, days at a time in a haze -

He had thought if he could break it, maybe...maybe they could...together...

But the slender man knew, he always knew. There was no escaping him.

"Forgive me, my lord...it - it wasn't because of her, I - I get headaches...that's the only reason..."

Meres did his best, but the fear made his voice break. It felt impossible to craft any kind of lie in front of his master.

"You poor, sad beast..." the slender man sighed, "I can see that mage has truly gotten her talons into you."

"N - no, my lord, it isn't like that - I - I only - aagh!"

The slender man gripped Meres' face tightly, his palm flat against Meres' eyes and fingers pressing painfully against his temples.

"Listen to me well, Meres. Are you listening?" The slender man tightened his grasp and caused a shooting pain to rocket through Meres' head.

"Agh - y - yes, I - I'm listening my lord -"

"There is nothing for you in the world except serving me. What would you be without me? I gave you what pittance of magic you were able to absorb. I gave you a purpose. You were nothing when I found you, and you'll be nothing again if you ever were to leave."

The slender man's words rang and echoed strangely in his head, humming almost like a song, tolling low like a bell.

Meres clenched his teeth against it, but with his eyes forced closed there was nothing he could do to distract himself from it.

"That mage's very blood flows pure with mana, she is a mage the likes of which you could never begin to imagine. Even when I break her, she will still be more than a pathetic mutt like you."

The slender man was right. Meres was nothing. Not strong enough to defend himself. Not strong enough to break the mind control. Only as good as his strength. Nothing...nothing...

"A powerful mage..." Meres mumbled, feeling a strange numbness in his fingers, "Iska is..."

Iska...Iska...the name echoed again and again in his mind.

Somewhere, swimming in the fog, like a weak flickering light against a darkness, he found her face. The soft of her lips, the brush of her fingers, her sharp eyes and her voice like a melody when it called his name.

"Poor Meres," the slender man said gently, "so strong of body, yet so weak of mind..."

"Yes...I - I am weak. Forgive me, my lord...I never meant to..."

The slender man slowly pulled his hand away, but Meres kept his eyes closed. He wanted to keep the image of Iska in his mind for as long as he could.

The only light he had ever known in this cold, dark place.

"Retire to your room. I am busy now, your punishment will come later."

"Yes, my lord..."

Meres stood, his legs aching. He finally opened his eyes, wincing against the pale white light of day filtering in through the curtains.

He could feel the beat of his own heart, not racing, but drumming a steady march. Maybe...when he told Iska how he'd been fighting against the enchantment...

Maybe she would reach out to him, touch his face gently.

And if they could...somehow...leave this place...

Even if he became nothing, as long as he was by her side...

Then maybe some day he could see her smile at him.

And that would be enough.

[espace--positif]

A Dragon Age Newbie's First Impressions of Inquisition Companions [Part 1/?]

SO. I've acquired ye olde Dragon Age brainrot after completing Veilguard and starting Inquisition. I have a lot of Thoughts and Ideas TM about both games, so while I decide whether I should make a separate blog for DA, enjoy this messy post on my first impressions of all the Inquisition companions. I also wanna be able to look back at this and see whether my judgments were right or wrong lmao. Yes this is what I'm doing instead of writing fics.

Spoilers for... I don't know where I'm at in Inquisition man. I just got to Skyhold and did a few missions. And MAJOR DAV spoilers, probably. Under the cut.

Cassandra

CASSANDRA PENTAGHAST THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE.

she honestly grew on me a lot. I knew I wanted to like her from like, the opening scene. she just exudes intensity, and you can immediately tell that she cares. she, however did not like my Lavellan one bit, and disapproved of every single choice I made for a while 😭

early game Cassandra whenever Lavellan breathed:

but she honestly feels like the realest, and maybe most good-hearted character in all of DAI. conflicted, caring, under far too much pressure, and with a cold exterior that isn't just there for the sake of being unapproachable. she second-guesses all of her choices, which I believe is HEALTHY for someone who has that much power.

as I progress through the game and get to know her more, I just end up liking her even more. she also knows how to disagree with you, on small and large things, while keeping an open mind and trying to understand your reasoning - that also encourages me to hear her out. I truly enjoy that about her! her VA is also STELLAR, I just love to hear her talk!!

overall, 10/10 no notes.

Solas

oh you motherfucker.

so DAV Varric (or whoever it was who said this) lied when he said this rat egg man doesn't lie to your face and only lies by omission.

"I know about the fade because of my studies in ancient ruins" "I know about spirits because I befriended them in my dreams"

what if I punched you in the throat? ok but in all honesty. I'm trying to do the Solavellan ting and, well, he's got game. I'll give him that. I was positively shook at the first fade dream thing. they teach you how to rizz up dalish women in those ancient elven ruins? 🤨

speaking of dalish. why is he so mad that Lavellan is dalish LMAO. my ass chose the "proudly dalish" option and he DISAPPROVED. it's not Lavellan's fault that that one dalish clan threw rocks at you when you told them you were fen'harel! damn...

overall? I need to see how badly he betrays her to make a better judgment. will it be worse than the DAV betrayal? probably. will I eat it up? absolutely.

Varric

VARRIC MY GOAT!! THE REALEST MF IN ALL OF THEDAS!!!

I love Varric so much. it obviously helped to play DAV before, so I kinda knew him... for like, 20 minutes, I guess...

anyway, I'm really looking forward to getting to know him some more. as always, he's the only mf who cares how your character is feeling, who bothers to check in on you because everyone just tells you to roll with all the Crazy Shit TM that's happening. everyone keeps asking WHO is the herald of andraste, WHERE is the herald of andraste. no one ever asks HOW is the herald of andraste. except Varric.

he's caring, hilarious, compassionate, but also extremely REAL. cause yeah, Varric, you SHOULD'VE run the other way the moment Cassandra set you free. this breach shit is crazy! but you're literally too good of a man to do that 😭

I also cannot stop laughing at his reaction to Cory being alive. "shit, we stabbed him a bunch, I can't believe he's alive"

Varric continue to be your best real self, I am your biggest cheerleader as you are mine ❤️

Blackwall

ok so Blackwall is great. just a chill dude. super chill actually! however. he's kind of not very helpful at all, is he? "why did the wardens disappear?" "idk. can i join your inquisition?"

you're in luck, we actually take anyone because we're desperate!

but what can he actually do. him being a warden doesn't seem to help very much, because he literally never displays any warden expertise. when Stroud (?) mentions how all the wardens hear the calling now because of mr. Cory, he goes "oh shit yeah me too". and you just forgot to mention it? world's chillest warden, I guess.

I like him! but I just don't know why he's there especially when Iron Bull absolutely clears him when it comes to warrior combat.

anyway thank you Blackwall, very cool!

---

This post has been long enough, so I will make a Part 2 at some point thanks bye!!

[minugasakuranohana]

Kōyō and Mori related post, part 2

... about that problematic Mori's phrase from ch 37

Please read [Part 1] before reading this

[In Russian] and [abt translation of this dialogue in Russian]

@emilover-1 and @plinko-mori, I hope you'll read it once 𖹭 Happy new year!

And about his line of behaviour in this situation at all.

Previously Kōyō said: Of course. But sad to say, I need to help our unreliable boss get this organization back in order. The one to whom my hatred belongs is your predecessor. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good about being here.

(Japanese: 無論じや。じゃが生憎と頼りない首領��組織を立て直す手伝いがあるでのう。彼の人の仇は先代じゃ。今は此処が気に入っておる)

What did Mori reply (in Japanese)?

He said: 嬉しいけど私の守備範囲は十二歳以下だよ？

To begin with, during the research process, let's maintain absolute neutrality.

meme (or not meme) about it ↘️

Now you are ready, so we're gonna dissect this fucking phrase!

The best known translation are:

I'm quite happy you said that, but I'm only interested in those under 12 years old.

I'm very glad to hear that, but I'm only interested in those under 12, you know?

Please, don't worry.

嬉しい - happy, glad. Here = «I'm quite happy you said that», «I'm very glad to hear that» (I prefer the second one, because it rhymes. There wasn't something like this in Japanese version, and I didn't see it in Russian, but here... 🥺 Let them talk in rhyming banter with each other). From the beginning Mori choose the opposite line to her words «sad to say», 生憎と. It's funny.

けど - «but», follows is contradictory to what comes before. (And you use が to say «but» when ideas are in contrast)

私 - I (official or just gender neutral version of the pronoun «I», using by many people now)

私の - my

守備範囲 - that fucking word 😒🙄🫣

Dictionary says:

しゅびはんい — 守備範囲 — noun

area of the field one is supposed to (or able to) defend (sports term)

(one's) field, (one's) scope, area of expertise, range of topics one can converse about, breadth of one's interests and knowledge

one's type, kind of person one is attracted to

You can use this word meaning «defence» only when you talk about sport. So this isn't about defence in Mori's phrase. Even Japanese dictionaries say so:

Goo:

守備範囲

スポーツで、自分の守るべき範囲。また、守ることができる範囲。スポーツ = sport, スポーツで = in sport. Meaning: «The scope of one's protection. Also, the extent to which it can be protected

自分がすべきことの範囲。また、自分ができることの範囲。«The scope of what you should do. Also, the scope of what you can do»

Weblio:

守備範囲

守ることができる範囲、または守るべき範囲、などを意味する表現 。 That sport term.

趣味・嗜好・異性の顔の造作などにおいて、好みとする対象の広さなどについて言う場合もある。«It may also refer to the extent of one's preference in hobbies, tastes, facial features of the opposite sex, etc.»

The best words to keep together 2nd and 3rd parts from English dictionary entry is «something what you are interested in». Because there's a probability he meant 2nd part and there's a probability he meant 3nd.

は - you really wanna know? Go and read about grammar. Okie, it's the word you use to mark the topic. [Link for grammar]

十二 = 12

歳 - years old

以下 - under

だ - marks present tense and positive sentences. (There are other ways for other sentences) It's a casual form of です. [Link for だ grammar] and [Link for difference between だ and です]

よ - «It indicates that the speaker is offering new information or a new perspective to the listener. Or at the very least, it gives the impression that something new is being offered.» Someone who translated manga added «you know?» for this nuance. [Link]

Mori replied «I'm very glad to hear that, but I'm only interested in those under twelve years old, you know?» Sorry, not sorry, it's really these words.

But the game ain't over at all!

What was it about? You know, words, it's a complicated thing...

Noticed something about «glad/happy»? It sounds a bit strange. He can be happy 'cause she doesn't hate him, or she is content to be here. But after the words «unreliable boss»? Is it irony?

Some thoughts of meaning:

Kōyō, but you are an adult! Stop insulting; stop attacking friends! You aren't Elise (Mori, you really thought at least one of them would stop?) In this case, does Elise have Kōyō's traits?

«You hate only the former boss + You like to be here» ➡️ «You like / love me, right? Oh, you know, with your childish behavior, if you were 12, I might have liked you too, maybe» 🤣 Remember, she canonically doesn't love «love». Mori just fights back.

On the other hand, I've heard the version that her words could be a romantic thing. But then he's just a master at shooting people down in the most cringe-worthy way.

Another point: it could be something like «Oh my, you really tHaT oLd? Are you seriously saying you can teach me running the organization? Behave yourself, my another traumatized adopted child» Some years ago she was angry when Chūya called her «Ane-san», but now 🤭

In any case, he made her feel uncomfortable with his shitty words. That's the punishment for willfulness and impoliteness (?)

Why, or what for?

Because she really hurts his feelings

Her phrase and his face are placed on the same frame. It makes sense, and it matters. Look at Mori! His eyes are open, but the lower lid is tensed / squinted, and you can see the expression lines. The iris is white – he usually has black eyes, so she's hit the mark, hit a nerve. The eyebrows are in a normal position, but it feels a little strained. The lips are composed, or there's just a general tensing of all the facial muscles.

✨ Some interesting information ✨

Why he smiled after - because he understood her feelings and thoughts. As an adult is surprised by a child's antics, but then shakes his head with a smile)

Anime makes this scene worse. Mori's reaction is too weak. All they drew was the basic emotion of surprise, and Mori is a complex character. Harukawa reflects this complexity of emotions: he's surprised, but Koyo's words also evoked displeasure (I'm 99% sure ), a little anxiety is there too (maybe 60-70% sure), insecurity, fear and regret are likely there.

He isn't shocked just a bit surprised but almost calm

For comparison:

In anime, I like to hear their voices and sound effects. The musical background puts a clear emphasis on the phrase koyo, this is the punchline of the dialogue.

I don't wanna say that Bones didn't try to do their best, but Harukawa is... an entirely different matter. There's no comparison to begin with. Just as... nobody would compare Goddess with anything, right?

Sorry - not sorry, I'm too lazy to do another gif with eng sub. «Конечно» = «Of course», « К сожалению, мне нужно помочь неуклюжему лидеру восстановить организацию» = «But sad to say, I need to help our unreliable boss get this organization back in order», «Я благодарен, но интересуюсь только теми, кому меньше 12» = «I'm glad to hear that, but I'm only interested in those under , you know?»

And she isn't t that calm yelling at him: «SHUT THE FUCK UP! I will sew your lips together!», if you pay attention to the size of kanji and lines of speech bubble.

Yes, 黙れ is a very rough word. Don't use it, please.

I found this scene in stage play here, file with stage plays, «Bungo Stray Dogs on stage 3». Timeline: start at 2:16:33 and end at 2:17:50

But video shows HER face when she's saying that phrase, so I can't say anything about Mori's facial expression in that moment 😭 How could them -

There's no «彼の人の仇は先代じゃ。今は此処が気に入っておる» (The one to whom my hatred belongs is your predecessor. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good about being here) Both anime and stage play cut these sentences out. Why? The next Mori's phrase looses its sense a little bit in this way, isn't it?! Wtf

Anyway, right after she said her part, and Mori replied, and then she said «damare…», they laughed together. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

'Cause he's boss

And the insubordination (or something similar) didn't vanish. Akutagawa is his own punishment; honestly, I'm totally agree. But Kōyō – he's just… Taunting her? Hahaha. Best boss ever, isn't he?

Whatever he meant, she's not okay with these words and we're too. That's the whole punishment. Just to check the box ✅

Boss-of-the-Port-Mafia-Mori-Ougai be like:

And because Mori cares a lot about Kōyō, if you look closely

...he couldn't do something more

I see Mori-Kōyō relationship as his redemption arc. He learns to respect human soul and heart, [心]. (That actual reason why Fukuzawa and Yosano dislike him). He combines therapeutic moments for Kōyō with his «evil mafia plans.» At least he didn't want to traumatize her with the possibility of killing that girl.

It's very interesting to analyse it one day. I will, but not before I read «Kokoro» by Natsume Sōseki. They talk about character-Natsume tactic, and then there's just the concept of the [heart] / [心]. But in Japanese, you read it as [こころ], [kokoro], got it? 🧐

I strongly believe that Mori planned more than that. Why else would he forbid her to take Kyouka back before the conflict started? (Chapters 17-18) He let her see the light to get her away from the mafia. As he let Dazai go. As he offered Higuchi. As 14 y. o. Kōyō wanted. It's good for her to see Kyōka's story, to let her go, to become a better person than the former boss. It's her character development. Mori isn't evil. He does bad things from time to time, but he also does good things.

Guild arc wasn't an easy one for Kōyō. Even if he unintentionally triggered her trust issues and anxiety, he tried to help.

I haven't said anything about 守備範囲 as «(one's) field, (one's) scope, area of expertise, range of topics one can converse about, breadth of one's interests and knowledge», have I? Oops)

Imagine, for example... What if Fukuzawa's words were important to Mori? We didn't even know what happened between them when Rampo and Yosano escaped. Did Fukuzawa run away after «the clock struck 12»? 🤭 Or did Mori actually lose that battle? Or did he lose because he didn't want to win at all? As Natsume's "subordinate" or sth he has to do everything he can for their tactic. But as a human being, well, he regrets traumatizing Yosano. What if he not only let her go but also started learning psychology, soul science?

Kōyō is also traumatized. Mori and Dazai know this. Mori lets her go, but she isn't happy. And what's more, she's using defensive reaction. And Mori just like «You need therapy, girl. But you know, I'm a child psychologist. And it would still be a violation of medical ethics if I were your psychotherapist. (Yeah, sometimes I respect medical ethics)»

What do you think?

...

After the Yosano story, Mori is generally more relaxed about disobeying orders. Because he's not in the military. (Down with bureaucracy!)

Because he realised that if an order was broken, it could be something very important to the person. He doesn't want to break people for the sake of some discipline. And for Koyo, choosing to cooperate with the agency was part of personal growth and healing. She saw herself in Kyōka, and protecting the girl meant protecting them both, and vice versa. Mori couldn't break her. That would be unjustified. He wasn't angry at Kōyō for her decision.

Bonus. Some parallels from the Guild arc:

Mori-Dazai, Kōyō-Kyōka: «We are not the same person, actually. I'm me, you're you. You have the right to choose your path» It was about mentoring, parental love, and letting go.

Mori-Kōyō, Dazai-Akutagawa: «You become stronger. Accept your past and move on from it»

Dazai-Kōyō, Atsushi-Lucy (+ Mori as a mastermind who made these lines possible with his orders abt Kyōka and Q): «Do not abandon the past versions of ourselves»

And keep in mind 2 things:

Mori must keep a balance between etiquette, subordination, and responsibilities on the one hand and his feelings and ulterior motives on the other hand

Sometimes he's a living cringe and a lying liar who lies 😑

The characters' phrases cannot be viewed without context. They don't exist in a vacuum. They have reasons, occasions, and purposes for saying certain things.

I have many other thoughts about these phrases and this dialogue!

But not today

[aihoshiino]

Ah, I have figured out how Tumblr works, sorry I'm new here :P

What do you gather was the final conclusion to how Aqua felt about Ai? Did he see her as his mom? Idol? Have a crush on her? I don't know if even Akasaka knew himself.

Also found it interesting how the two non-family people Ai seemed comfortable opening up to were Gorou and Gotanda... she latched on to those old men quickly.

I'd actually say that Aqua's arc in relation to that aspect of his complicated feelings towards Ai was one of the things that early OnK did really well! It's a big part of why I was so confused and ultimately let down by the way OnK handles Ruby's surfacing feelings for Gorou -> Aqua because we had already seen that the story could do a really interesting examination of this exact issue - past life attachment causing a surfacing of romantic feelings in a relationship that should otherwise be purely familial - and bring it to what I felt was a pretty satisfying conclusion. That said, the conclusion Aqua comes to is kind of understated, so I get that it doesn't jump out at people as obviously.

Basically, to start with, I think it is clear that Aqua has some confusedly Oedipal feelings mixed up in his relationship with Ai purely as the result of inheriting Gorou's gachikoi attraction to her and that this undercurrent lingers even as he forms a more solid relationship with her as himself and her son. But it doesn't really get a chance to surface and become something Aqua himself is in a position to interrogate until he is put face to face with ""Ai"" again in a romantically charged context. In fact - interestingly, he doesn't seem to consider for a second that he might be having dokidoki sorts of feelings about Aikane until Mem and Yuki start trying to push it on him and even then...

I guess this is my One beef with how the anime handles this part of the story because I think it kind of accidentally gives Aqua's response a very different vibe in its version of events. Compare and contrast these two expressions:

Not only does Aqua look way more like... genuinely dismayed and even a little distressed at what's going on, but he's even being crowded by everyone at this moment. Whereas in the anime, he just looks more straightforwardly flustered.

Obvs after this he scurries off to go have his hangout sesh with Kana and ends up putting to bed the idea that he was romantically interested in Akane (at that moment in time, anyway) but interestingly, his conclusion that his feelings for Aikane aren't "like that", i.e, romantic also seems to be the implicit conclusion to the idea that he has any feelings of those sort of Ai, too.

Past LoveNow, while Aqua's feelings about Ai continue to be very intense, we never again get any of the Oedipal undertones that were more apparent prior to that point. And in fact, the next time we see Aqua's feelings for Ai zoomed in on in this way, the embodiment of Aqua's grief for her is Aqua himself as a little boy who just desperately wants his mom back.

In other words, the grief and loss Aqua feels for Ai is for her as his mother.

As for the Ai part of this ask, I don't think Gorou and Gotanda are necessarily unusual in that regard...? It's part of a pretty consistent pattern of Ai opening up to people surprisingly fast when she thinks they have the capacity to understand or accept her, or just like. Show her any basic human kindness whatsoever LOL.

We see this in Viewpoint B with Kyun where all it takes is a little gentle prodding from Kyun for Ai to pour her heart out about some genuinely personal stuff and that talk meant enough to Ai for her to consider Kyun her closest friend for years afterwards. She really is just that intensely lonely and that eager to put her heart into someone's hands the instant they so much as imply they might treat it gently. Or even just that they want it. She's not well!!!!

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[jayjxmaybank]

jj felt the words leave his mouth, and instantly, he regretted them. the look on kiara's face hit him harder than he expected, her disappointment sharper than any punch he had ever taken—and he had taken quite a few of them in his time. he knew the moment he said it—that it was the wrong thing to say. he could feel her pulling away, like an invisible wall was going up between them and he was cursing himself to hell.

so, that wasn't what she wanted to hear. shit, so what did she want from him?

her eyes avoided his and that stung more than anything. he hated the way she sounded, like she was trying to convince herself more than him. like she was making herself believe it was okay, when he could see, clear as day, that it wasn’t. he couldn't even bring himself to meet her gaze again once he looked away—he wasn’t sure if it was because he was ashamed of what he'd said or if he was afraid of seeing the hurt in her eyes.

jj ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself. this wasn’t how he wanted it to go. he wanted her to understand, wanted things to go back to the way they were before any of this happened. but now, everything felt different, strained, like something had shifted in their dynamic that he wasn’t sure how to fix.

but he didn’t know how to make it right.

"kie, no. i—" he started, then stopped. what could he say? that he was sorry for fingering her out by the bonfire? that it was just a dare and it meant nothing to him? no, cause he wasn't sorry. it wasn't just some stupid dare. but he didn't even know where to start. this was no longer a game of truth or dare. sure, he'd do anything for a dare just to prove he could handle a challenge. but not that, not with kie. not her.

instead, he just stood there, feeling like a dumbass, wishing he could form the words he wanted to she began, but a frustrated sigh escaped him, and he rubbed his hands over his face. "is that what you want?" he asked, his voice tinged with uncertainty, desperate for some kind of clarity. "i only said that because i thought that's what you wanted… i—" his words trailed off, his mind racing, unable to make sense of anything.

jj’s pulse shot through his veins when kiara locked the door behind him, her hands trembling as she did. the sound of the click echoed in the silence between them, and he could see the way she was falling apart. eyes wide with fear, like she was drowning in it. his stomach twisted, unsure of how to help her, but desperate to do something. anything.

he opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything to make her feel better, but the words didn’t come. instead, he just took a step toward her, cautiously, trying to give her space but also not wanting to leave her alone in this spiral.

“kie,” he started, his voice low, but the panic in her eyes made it hard for him to keep it steady. “hey, you’re okay. just breathe,” he tried to assure her, but he wasn’t sure how to do this. whenever she did it, she made it seem so easy.

but she wasn’t breathing. not like she should. her chest was rising and falling in quick, shallow breaths, her watched her body tremble. she looked like she was about to come undone. shit. jj's stomach twisted. this was way worse than he had imagined her to be when she ran off. she had always been so strong, so unshakable, but now she was completely unraveling in front of him.

“john b was jus’ being a dick. he didn’t mean nothin’ by it,” he tried, but he wasn’t sure if he should be even saying that. “but, it’s aright,” he reached for the sides of her arms. “we’re alright. we’re cool, okay?” his hand motioning between the two of them. “we can jus’—idunno, pretend like nothin’ happened.” damn, he was clueless at this. was that what she wanted? he didn’t have a clue on how to comfort her, but he knew he wanted to, needed to.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

[chatdae]

Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.

And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!

(this is about The Boys season four)

[veatomis]

Would it. Be too diabolical if i put lucanis in the tailored to elio version of the regret fade prison.