#i know 40s and up is a very large demographic

[kennythetrampvamp]

Reblog for bigger sample size maybe? I really wanna know!

Watching tv, u grow up feeling like everybody starts dating in highschool at the latest and that that's what's supposed to happen, but it's really so different for everyone. I now know plenty of people in their 20s who have never dated anyone.

(Tbh I don't hang out with many people older than me so I haven't heard much from those demographics yet (I'm 22))

Also please tell me about your first date and/or first partner! If u want to :)

[sanstropfremir]

✨🎥! Forgot to say, I have a wedding in April but no dress/suit/clothes. I’m desperately looking but every single day I’m more disappointed in the quality of the fashion industry. Even the most basic thing is shit quality and cost 5 times what it should. So yeah, if anyone has recommendations on clothes (not necessarily for weddings or events, but in general) that are good quality, let me know

i know how you feel, affordable decent clothing is fucking impossible right now. honestly my best advice is thrifting/secondhand. idk what the situation for that is like in spain so maybe it's not possible, but it's always worth a shot, especially if you've already been looking for a while. it does obvs take more time than shopping new bc you have to sift through racks, but you're more likely to get a good find of better quality for a more reasonable price. my general thrifting advice (honestly this applies to any clothes shopping also) is first look for the colour and shape that you like, and then look at the material content. this is very important. do not look at brand that means nothing. always always always check the material content on the tags. ideally you want to be looking for garments that have 100% natural fibres; wool, cotton, silk, linen, rayon/viscose (yes it is natural despite the name). if you can't find 100% than something with an 80/20 ratio or more (to the natural side) can also be a safer bet, but my rule of thumb is the more polyester is in a garment, the worse it is in every way.

my general advice for wedding attire is unless you need black tie, don't worry about trying to find a full suit or a really fancy dress you're only gonna wear once. get a good pair of dark formal trousers (black/grey/navy), wear a dress shirt or a formal blouse, and throw on a nice tailored jacket that's in the same colour family. is it technically only semi-formal? yes, but who does true formal weddings and actually cares about sartorial rules. in this economy? psh. some visual aids:

it's a great combo for any 'events you have to look nice at' because you only have to buy individual pieces, you don't have to buy them all at the same time, and they can be reused for other events. just find out what the colour theme of the event is and get yourself a shirt or tie/pocket square/scarf/other accessory in that colour and you're good to go. also do not forget a good pair of shoes. this is also very important; always have a good pair of shoes.

hopefully this helps! i'm sorry i don't have better recommendations on where to actually go to buy stuff/what to buy, but i haven't shopped new in......quite a long time. but at least having some tips to go by should help. and tbh sometimes you do gotta cough up the money.....BUT only ever cough up the money for something that is 100% natural fibre and is a piece that will get use outside of a single event. otherwise you just gotta be patient and keep looking; if you are patient things have a way of coming to you.

[good-to-drive]

Re: your post about that tweet saying the Beatles were around the first time women were allowed to be horny,

I feel like arguing they were sex-symbols only tells half the story. Other artists like Elvis were marketed on their sexuality, but they were also seen as dangerous by the older generations, which the Beatles weren’t. Largely by Brian’s design, the Beatles were made to be almost entirely non-threatening (not entirely, because he also made the choice of them getting the mop top hair cut and the Spanish heeled boots to show they had a mischievous/slightly dangerous side).

My step-dad grew up in the Beatles generation and has said multiple times he thinks the Beatles had a larger political impact than, say, Bob Dylan, largely because their non-threatening aspect allowed for girls to explore their sexuality in a way they hadn’t really before, completely changing the way the music industry works. Elvis was censored for swinging his hips on live air, but in the early years the Beatles most explicit lyrics were about holding your hand. Obviously some songs like “Please Please Me” had implications of something more, and we know girls were horny for the Beatles but it wasn’t in the overt way others before them were. Even the medias portrayal of the smart/cute/quiet/friendly or funny one allowed girls to explore what qualities they liked or at least thought the would like in a boyfriend. The Beatles really did create youth culture! The 60s are basically the first time in the more modern day girls were given social power, because it was their attention and money radios were suddenly catering to.

However, I also don’t think saying the 60e were the first time women were allowed to be horny - although I do think it’s important to keep in mind there was a sort of movement at the time of the 60s being the time of the “modern woman.” Frank Sinatra was causing excitement in the 40s much in the same way the Beatles were. There are tons of shows of his that had to be cancelled halfway through or were shut down because of rioting by the youth who was attracted to him. Even before that, when cigarette companies were trying to cater to women there was a bunch of pseudo-science pushed regarding female sexuality and how cigarettes were vaguely phallic.

All that to say, no the Beatles weren’t the first thing to ever cater to women’s sexuality, but they were very unique particularly in how they were marketed.

This is SO interesting, thank you so much!! (For those who are curious, this is the tweet in question.) I think some comments were also getting at this idea that while it wasn't entirely new for women's sexual appetites to drive consumption it was new/unique to market to female sexuality in the exact way that the beatles did. It feels like their sex appeal was part of the product but it was packaged in a way that was safe and nonthreatening, which by extension makes the force driving that consumption feel safe. So interesting to think about that in regards to political impact and how establishing the insane marketing force that is appealing to young women relates back to social power and having a voice. Establishing young women as an extremely lucrative demographic and how this may shape what's seen as viable or desirable for a mainstream media product, which by extension may shape culture....

Thank you for the info, this is great!!

[unhonestlymirror]

Nadia Lipes:

A moment of logic, including historical logic.

Now I will not chew on the facts about the ownership of a certain piece of territory by ancient Israel, otherwise a couple of large Arab countries will end up there, but I will focus on the beginning of the 20th century.

At the beginning of the 20th century, Jews did not live in the territory of Gaza for a long time, despite the village and Jewish history of that region, they were driven out of there a long time ago, and the area was overgrown with sand.

But Jews have always lived in Judea and Samaria. In general, it’s pretty fucked up to say that the area called Judea has nothing to do with the Jews. But that's not the point.

As a result of the 1967 war, Israel inherited both, lightly populated by Arabs. This increased slightly by 4 times, despite the horrors of the occupation. A unique demographic case, yes.

In general, so that the Arabs behave decently in those same territories, and since these regions are ancient Jewish, Israel revived Jewish settlements there in some quantity.

And everything was fine until some idiot with the letter R [Rabin] decided to be the most humane Jew in history. The next idiot with the letter Š [Sharon] continued this event, and the Jews left Gaza. For 16 years, there were no Jews there.

The Jews could not leave the West Bank. Even R and Š understood this with their meagre minds. It so happened historically that on the West Bank, there is indivisible Jerusalem and Hebron. Not to mention smaller Jewish sites like Rachel's Tomb.

Thus, this part can never be given away. And under no circumstances. As long as Israel exists. The whole world understands this.

Thus, what is this very world trying to achieve? Right. The complete liquidation of Israel, in fact, hiding behind strange slogans.

Although some countries have already realized what is the "from the river to the sea..." It is not very clear which sea and which river we are talking about. Some countries, but not all.

Minute of logic number 2.

As we know from the last post, Gaza has not been occupied in any way for 16 years. It was simply separated from Israel by a fence. If you wanted to separate, please, here is a fence for you.

Israel did not touch Gaza at all. However, it employed its inhabitants, treated them, supplied them with electricity and water, and allowed them to give them a suitcase of money from Qatar every month.

Gaza, on the contrary, was touching Israel more and more every year. With rockets. Israel, in response, targeted the launch points, and that was the end of it. Because the world community, that’s all.

As a result of this development of events, they became so emboldened that they broke into the territory of Israel using all sorts of improvised means, killed 1400 people, after raping half of them, including children, burning some, and they did all this on video. The Germans are quietly crying in the corner.

Not only did they film all this chaos themselves, but they also post it online themselves.

Among other things, 240 people were taken captive, including children. The war has been going on for 40 days, 4 were released by the Palestinians themselves because animal rights activists knocked them on the head for them, 1 was released by ours, and the bodies of the other two have already been found.

Let me remind you that captives, or prisoners of war, are people who need to be fed, watered, shown to the Red Cross and not killed. Moreover, civilians cannot be taken as prisoners of war. And even more so infants and ancient old people. This is written directly in the regulations of all countries.

Where is the reaction? Huh?

Well, denying the rapes filmed by Hamas themselves is generally the lowest point of bottom. And yes, the Israeli army has been in the sector for 40 days. And not a single case of rape of Arab women by Jews.

Surprisingly simple. They spend much longer than 6 hours there, but how do they control themselves?

In Kfar Yassin, by the way, it was the same. So the world community was also indignant. They said that Jews despise Arabs so much that they don’t even want to rape them.

Disgusting behavior. We condemn.

[dragoneyes618]

In the early part of the 20th century, Jews were subject to restrictive quota systems that prevented them from attending elite universities. This was most pronounced at the graduate levels, forcing many aspiring Jewish doctors to study abroad. If a Jew wanted to earn a Ph.D., the doors were mostly closed. Schools such as Columbia University or the University of Chicago were notorious for barring Jewish doctoral candidates.

This changed by the late 1950s, when the doors at reputable universities began to swing open in order to cultivate young Jewish minds. Many of the Jewish students were at the top of their class, and they repaid their universities handsomely with alumni dues, contributions and endowments.

What is not spoken about, and perhaps not publicized very much, is how universities in the 1970s, in a mad rush to balance their debt, began to take in very large endowments and contributions from the oil-rich Arab countries. I know this firsthand. I was a doctoral candidate at Boston University in the 70s, earning my Ph.D. in Sociology in May 1981. I sat in class with many Arab students (mostly Saudis) and some Iranians.

Sitting in class with Arab students, I stood out as a Jew. This was obvious from my dress code and my rushing out of the classroom early Friday afternoons to catch a trolley back to my apartment so that I could light candles in time for Shabbat. Yet, in spite of my overt Jewish appearance, I did not encounter antisemitism from my Arab classmates, nor did I encounter any prejudice from my instructors, most of whom were not Jewish. In fact, I recall quite vividly how one of my instructors would talk openly in class about his experiences as a Jew growing up in Chicago in the ‘40s. His name was Dr. Tom Cottle. He would later become famous for his interviews of theatrical personalities in his television series, Tom Cottle: Up Close. When Dr. Cottle would speak about his Jewish upbringing and culture, the class was entranced. There was no sign of disrespect or enmity from either the Arab students or the American non-Jews in the class.

Something changed, and around the early ‘90s, a match was lit. The combination of infusion of money from the Middle Eastern countries and a social movement to promulgate the Palestinian cause (think “BDS” – Boycott, Divestiture, and Sanctions, which ossified about 10 years later) found its habitat at higher schools of learning. The university setting presented an ideal place to situate and nurture a cause that centered on a presumed “underdog.” This galvanized students – sadly among whom were many Jewish students from tepid to nonexistent Jewish backgrounds – to champion the rights of the Palestinians while condemning Israel as “colonizers.”

Certainly, the masterminds behind this movement understood that students are easily beckoned by social causes that make them feel empowered. By defending the rights of those they feel are less fortunate, they assuage their guilty conscience for enjoying the middle-class comforts that others do not. This behavior is commonly seen in students born into privilege. By identifying with those of a lesser class they can, in those vicarious moments when they envision themselves downtrodden and disenfranchised, feel vindicated.

It was not until around 2010 that the small fires started in the ‘90s would become wildfires raging out of control. The factor contributing to this conflagration was the popularly promoted DEI platform at universities nationwide. “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion,” while in principle well-meaning, in practice became a dangerous albatross for the Jewish population in particular. This happened once the Palestinian cause was packaged together with, or entangled in, the campaign for equity and inclusion of those American demographic groups that had been excluded from ascending the ladder of American privilege. Federal funds intended for distressed American BIPOC (Black, Indigenous People of Color) populations have, instead, been used by anti-Zionist campaigners to attract charismatic guest lecturers who spew virulent anti-Zionist dogma.

One must ask, how can we denude American universities of venom and strife? Certainly, as we saw in the Congressional hearings chaired by Virginia Foxx (R-NC) earlier this month, by holding the presidents of universities accountable for the menacing and threatening hate speech on campus we have taken the first big step.

However, the seeds of venom, sown so many decades ago, require a rethinking of patronage of secular institutions of higher learning. We’ve seen how they present a precarious setting for Jewish students, exposing them to violent diatribes and physical threats. In an era where we’ve witnessed more mass shootings on college campuses (and other places too) than at any other time in history, it becomes a fortiori even more dangerous for Jewish students, in particular, for they now have the added burden of facing a campus rife with antisemitism.

Alas, there are no easy answers. But from what we’ve seen from the cowardice of college presidents who shamelessly evaded the straightforward questions posed by Congresswoman Elise Stefanik, the universities, for quite some time, have been enabling a toxic climate prejudicial to Jewish students. This matter deserves nothing less than a full-scale congressional investigation into the usurpation of the federally-funded DEI platform by anti-Zionist agitators.

Pandora’s Box has been opened. It must not be closed until we root out the anathema and abomination prevalent at U.S. universities today.

[tallmantall]

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Mental Health Awareness Month: Shattering Myths as Black Suicide Rates Climb

Despite longstanding perceptions, suicide rates among Black Americans are rising sharply. High-profile cases highlight the issue, with mental health professionals emphasizing the importance of awareness and seeking help. By Malcolm Venable For a long time, conventional wisdom held that suicide wasn’t something Black people did, that ending one’s own life was “a white thing.” And to be sure, data backs that up; even as recently as 2018, the overall suicide rate for Black Americans was some 60 percent lower than that of the non-Hispanic white population. But something’s changed in recent years, with researchers and the public at large noticing a swift uptick in Black suicide rates––particularly among young people. And with high profile cases of Black people who’ve died by suicide, including former Miss USA Chelsie Kryst and Regina King’s son Ian Alexander, Jr. , drawing more attention to the issue, Black mental health professionals are urging the community as Mental Health Awareness month draws to a close to learn more, know the warning signs, and seek help if needed.  “There's been a perception in the Black community for decades that suicide is not an issue,” says Victor Armstrong, vice president for health equity and engagement at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. “Part of the challenge has been that narrative, but there also has not really been a push outside of the community for suicide prevention or for suicide awareness organizations to reach into Black communities.”  #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub That’s changing now, in large part because of the alarming spike in suicides in recent years. From 2019 to 2022, suicide rates have increased some 20 percent among Black Americans he says; rates that involve a firearm have increased more than 40 percent. “What is shifting,” he says, “is there is more of an openness to talking about suicide in Black and brown communities. The challenge still remains though, that we can no longer assume that a one size fits all model works. Because a lot of Black people have never had this conversation before.”  Why are the rates increasing? Armstrong says researchers aren't entirely sure, but those who consider or attempt suicide are dealing with a combination of many different factors. There are some factors that contribute to wanting to die by suicide, however. “The fastest rising demographic is among younger Black people,” he says. “The pressures and stresses that younger Black people face now are very different. We're coming off the heels of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor, so they're seeing all of those kinds of things. They witnessed some of the backlash with Black Lives Matter, so they're internalizing a lot of those things, and with social media, there's more opportunity for bullying, and seeing that everyone is having a good time––like ‘Everyone else's situation seems better than mine’ and they don't always have the emotional maturity to separate themselves. All that can impact suicide.”  Black folks are often least likely to get support when experiencing depression as well, which is why Armstrong says it’s important for loved ones to help create a judgment-free zone for people to talk honestly, and be able to spot warning signs. “Look for changes in talk, mood, or behavior,” he says. “Talk can be things like, ‘‘I'm thinking about killing myself.’ Always take talk of suicide serious. Likewise, if somebody says, ‘I don't want to be here,’ or ‘I'm just tired,’ those are things to follow up on.” Increased drug and alcohol use, or extreme variations in demeanor––someone very outgoing becoming withdrawn or vice versa could mean the person has made the decision, he says––can also be signs for concern. A prevailing myth, he says, is that talking about suicide will make the person want to do execute a plan, which is not true.  “I always encourage people to ask directly,” he says. “Research says that you are not going to make someone suicidal by asking them if they're considering suicide. You may open up the lines of communication, to where they can talk about how they're feeling. Make sure that you're not correcting them and telling them they're wrong or how they feel, just, ‘I’m sorry, you're hurting, I'm here.’”  See the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention site for more information on risk factors and warning signs, and if you are in crisis and need support, dial 988. Read the full article

[aikoiya]

Hey, friend, I've seen some of your posts about trans kids transitioning and just thought I'd give you a bit of context as to what that's actually like. This ask was made in good-faith so I'm asking that you please avoid harassing me or responding to it hatefully. This is going to be a bit of a long ask, but I think it may at the very least be an interesting read.

No trans kid (by which I mean, a transgender minor, under the age of 18) is given irreversible gender-change medical treatment. Most children aren't accepted by their parents as transgender, but those who do are just permitted to socially transition. This can look like going by a different name and/or pronouns, or presenting themselves differently. This is, of course, reversible - at any point, the kid can return to using their old name, pronouns, and presentation, with no harm done.

There are some gender-change medical treatments a kid can receive. It is important to know that no kid can receive gender-change treatment without parental consent. Additionally, a kid can only go on puberty blockers if a trained medical professional diagnoses the child with gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is the scientific term for when your gender doesn't match up with your sex. While it's not seen in every trans person, it is a prerequisite for children (and many adults) receiving gender-change treatments [source].

If a trans kid reaches the age of puberty, they can discuss being put on puberty blockers. Puberty blockers are hormonal treatments that prevent a kid from from going through puberty, and are utilized by non-trans kids with various health problems as well. They have no health risks outside of those that are inherent to any medication, and are reversible. If the child decides that they aren't trans, they can go off of the puberty blockers and undergo puberty as usual, albeit a little late.

The next step for a trans kid may be hormone replacement therapy (HRT). You may have seen this before referred to as "going on estrogen" or "going on E" for trans girls, or as "going on testosterone" or "going on T" for trans boys. Not all trans kids are going to want HRT, but some will. HRT is also, mostly, reversible. Going on HRT leads to gradual changes, and it takes months or years for the changes to go into effect. There are some changes that form later in the process that irreversible, but if a trans kid later decided in adulthood they weren't trans, these changes wouldn't stop them from detransitioning. And, to reiterate, the only way anyone under age 18 could get these hormones is with parental consent. The last step of the medical transition is gender-affirming surgeries, often referred to as "top surgery" and "bottom surgery". These are not reversible in the traditional sense - however, it is always possible to have the surgeries in the opposite direction. It is very, very rare, for anyone under the age of 18 to have any of these surgeries, and only if a medical professional deems it necessary. The very large majority of trans kids can't undergo any of these surgeries until age 18.

So, in summary, no kids are medically transitioning before age 18. Children are socially transitioning, and all that means is that they go by a different name, pronouns, and presentation.

The number of transgender people who detransition isn't solidly known, but the most commonly cited source is that only 1% of trans people ever end up detransitioning. Some sources I've seen have them up to 3%, but I haven't seen any greater than that in my research. Most people who detransition do so because of people's negative beliefs, not because they don't think they're actually trans [source].

[content warning: suicide]

Transgender kids one of the highest suicide rates out of any demographic - it is estimated that 82% of trans kids have considered suicide, and 40% have attempted to do so [source]. Suicidality is decreased is trans kids (and trans people in general) who are allowed to transition, even just socially. Letting kids transition is reversible and leads to massive increases in their quality of life. And besides - any of these changes are much more reversible than suicide.

Having the belief that trans kids shouldn't be allowed to transition actively harms children, regardless of whether they're trans or not. It's also harmful towards transgender adults. I'd ask that you please think about what I've said, do some research from unbiased sources, and stop perpetuating beliefs that can hurt people which aren't backed in fact.

My DMs and asks (including anon) are open if you have more questions. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this, and I wish you the best 😊

MORE SOURCES

Quick read about this subject that goes in a bit more detail than I did

A medical institute's FAQ on the matter

A scientific article about children detransitioning

A scientific study about the mental health effects of trans kids being permitted to transition

Another article about trans children

Another scientific article about trans kids

Thank you for your time!

I actually appreciate that you are giving this ask in good faith & I see that your intent isn't to harass, but to educate.

And I thank you for the positive intent, but I am going to have to disagree with you that no child gets transitioned under the age of 18. And I also disbelieve the idea that so few regret the change. And I can certainly believe that at least some detransition due to not being accepted, but the fact of the matter is that we are currently in a time where people are the most accepting of such things.

Have you ever listened to detransitioners or specifically sought out interviews where they regret it because they felt taken advantage of? Specifically ones that did it because it wasn't what they thought it'd be? I just... And the idea that those below 18 don't get assigned gender-affirming care is incorrect.

Blair White - Detransitioners "My Penis Is Gone Forever & I Regret It"

Chloe Cole At Congress

The Dark Truth About Famous Trans Kids

Grossly Negligent Transgender Treatment

Forcing Kids To Transition

Chloe got a double mastectomy as 15 & she detransitioned at 17, which means that, unfortunately yes, it does happen. People do transition kids below 18. And, she said that she was affirmed. Affirmation doesn't equate to happiness. Just as transitioning doesn't equate to happiness.

And, there's a lot of toxicity in Jazz Jennings' relationship with her mother.

And, there is documented evidence that kids even as young as 4 are being transitioned. Have you seen the movie Transhood? It portrays it as good, but just think about Avery & Phoenix. Especially Phoenix, who later went back to being a boy.

Just because you don't want it to be true, doesn't mean it isn't.

The fact of the matter is that there are so many predators out there who have no issues with taking advantage of these kids' confusion all to make money.

Because it makes money. Like, a lot of money.

You should also do research on John Money & the David Reimer case. It's sickening.

I know that the sources aren't verified, but the evidence is there.

[liskantope]

@loki-zen replied:

:/ you did the thing where people equivocate ‘women’ and ‘reasonably attractive women’. (this is orthogonal to the overall point but a common logical failure mode i on some level expected you to be unusually good at avoiding, I suppose.)

It's true that I mentioned women pursuing men as a category and then mentioned "reasonably attractive" women while neglecting to discuss the situation for less than "reasonably attractive" women, and this is not particularly fair in terms of "demographics whose struggles I acknowledge and talk about and express sympathy towards". But I'm looking back at my post and am having trouble seeing where I committed any kind of logical fallacy here?

I started by suggesting that the "too many choices" problem was a factor only within the women-pursuing-men category -- I didn't say for the whole category rather than some large subset of it, but rather that those who suffer from "too many choices" mostly fall under that category. I then described more in detail what the "too many choices" phenomenon probably does to the affected subset, this time taking the trouble to specify that this mainly applies to women who are "reasonably attractive and have some ability to post decent photos".

And in fact, "reasonably attractive" is vague and ambiguous, and in this situation I suspect the bar for it is not at all high, as in I imagine a good 80% of women below 40 (the age category in my dating pool, and also the age category of almost everyone I know on Tumblr) would qualify as "reasonably attractive" in this context. The ability to have decent photos requires a bit more, of course, and a lot must depend on geography and some other factors.

I haven't actually heard much from very conventionally unattractive women about their experiences in the dating realm, and I can only imagine most of them must have a way more demoralizing and all-around bad time than I'm having in most ways (for instance, on dating apps they certainly still get more matches than I do -- that just follows from mathematics and the fact that a large portion of guys automatically right-swipe on 100% of women's profiles -- but then a lot of their matches probably never follow up, or treat them like crap), but I've never felt like I quite knew how to talk about it sensitively. Anyway, that would have been a digression from the main point of my answer.

I always find your thoughts on dating apps to be super interesting, and I'm sorry to hear about the demoralizing nature of it (which has been precisely my experience, too, for the past couple of years).

It got me randomly thinking, do you feel that one reason the dating sites don't generally work is because, counterintuitively, there's too much to choose from? In other words, the very fact that we know there are so many profiles makes us more likely to pass on people who we might have been willing to give a chance in real life.

I'll admit outright that I'm guilty of that, and it might not be the case with most other people, but I do wonder if the overabundance of profiles on the dating apps has some unhelpful effect.

I hope you have better luck real soon, by the way!

Thanks for the kindness and commiseration! In fact, just in the last couple of years, everyone I hear discussing modern online dating seems to express a disgust with it and seems to feel some degree/variety of hopelessness around it. I was at a meetup event organized by a woman for single men some months ago, the purpose being to discuss what the dating world looks like from men's point of view, and the one thing that we seemed to unanimously agree on was "Online dating sucks!" Part of it clearly has to do with dating apps just visibly getting worse. Just twice in the past couple of weeks there have been snarky offhand mentions (one of them on ACX) of "OKCupid, back when it was still good". And I have the same feeling: it's hard for me to put a finger on precisely which changes in the interface of the dating apps I've been on have made the overall experience much worse than it was even a few years ago*, but it's there.

Anyway, to more closely address your question, I've heard the "paralysis and decreased happiness from having more choices" hypothesis from time to time in conversations (mostly from podcasts) about the modern world of dating. It's a much more generally-applied hypothesis as to why there seems to be more unhappiness (among certain populations) in modern times than half a century ago; I even recall there being a famous TED talk on it. I think this phenomenon must have an effect for some people in some areas of the online dating realm, but my suspicion is that this is mostly a factor for women seeking men through online dating. My impression of most women on dating apps who are reasonably attractive and have some ability to post decent photos is that they have a plethora of men to choose from, a very large percentage of whom will right-swipe them back, so they might as well aim for the top. But then, the men they perceive via very limited digital profiles to be the cream of the crop often turn out to be disappointing in person.

This could be an issue for some non-women not seeking men online as well, I suppose (although from what I hear, my experience of putting tons of energy in desperate hopes of getting a single match every now and then is pretty normal for men seeking women, even men I would consider more attractive than me, and plenty of men who are not me follow the strategy of just right-swiping everyone so your suggestion certainly doesn't seem to apply to them). But I don't really think it's an issue for me: as I said in my last post, the vast majority of dating profiles I see show women don't enthuse me on one or more fairly basic parameters (this is particularly the case on OKCupid, where a lot more information tends to be exposed). This sounds like I'm being very demanding -- and whether I am is a question I ask myself all the time -- but these criteria just don't seem like they should be too much to ask for, although I'm beginning to see why as our history progresses and as I get older it was bound to get harder and harder to find them.

These basic parameters aren't as visible with someone you've just met in real life, and maybe if I met some of them in real life I'd find them more dateable than they appear in a profile, and maybe chemistry would take over powerfully enough for me to be more flexible on certain things than I currently think myself capable of. But admitting this possibility is subtly but significantly different from saying that the multitude of choices presented to me on dating sites raises my standards: I just don't think it has, or that for me the larger number of choices has anything to do with it.

Anyway, I wish you better luck too!

*The closest I can come to explaining coherently is that they are more visibly trying to find ways to get my money. Which I find not only annoying but somehow infantalizing in a way I can't quite explain, even to myself. My attitude doesn't seem entirely defensible when I zoom out and consider that there's no reason dating sites should have to be free: they are businesses that have to stay in business and have every right to try to get me to pay money. There's just some holdout within the last bit of my internalized stigma around using dating sites that makes me strangely proud of how I've never spent a single penny on dating sites in 11-12 years of on-and-off using them. (At the single men's event I mentioned above, one bit of advice some other guys gave to me is "if you're a guy, you have to spend money on dating apps, otherwise they're not going to be effective.")

[sydsaint]

WarDaddy Time Babes!!

Summary: The reader is MJF's sister and a replacement for RJ City on his podcast show, Hey! ew. Her special guest for the show is Wardlow, and the pair have instant chemistry.

"Thanks again for setting this whole thing up for me, Max. Turns out that you're actually useful for some things." You tease your brother while one of the camera crew attaches your microphone.

Max rolls his eyes at you an scoffs. "Yeah well, I knew that I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't." He insists. "Have fun. I hope that you embarrass yourself."

"Me?" You laugh. "Please. Never gonna happen little brother." You wink at him.

Max rolls his eyes again and walks off since his work is done for the night. You adjust your blouse once the audio team is done and wait for your podcast guest to arrive.

A few minutes later, a large shadow is cast in the small room. You glance at the doorway where your special guest awaits you. Wardlow.

"Wardlow, hi!" You walk over to him with a friendly and confident smile. "Damn, you are fucking tall." You laugh when you have to crane your neck in order to look him in the eyes. "I hope that my brother didn't give you any trouble when he asked you to be on the show."

Wardlow smiles down at you and chuckles. "Not at all. I've actually been looking forward to meeting you, Y/N." He admits. "Friedman used to go on about his evil sister all of the time."

"Evil, huh?" You grin. "Well I wouldn't say that exactly. But I guess that Max had to learn all of those backhanded tactics from somewhere right?" You joke. "Come on, lets get you mic'd up and then we can get the interview started." You usher him into the room.

Wardlow nods and the audio team get him wired up for his interview. You retrieve your list of questions that you wrote up earlier and take a seat in your chair. Wardlow sits down in the chair next to you and the camera crew signal that they are ready to record.

"Hello! And welcome to, 'Hey! EW', my name is Y/N Friedman filling in for RJ City while he's busy being less cool than me." You snark. "I am sitting here today with the current AEW TNT champion. Everyone's favorite muscly hunk, Wardlow." You nod to Wardlow. "Now Wardlow, tell me? How does it feel to be my current favorite man in AEW after your shocking betrayl of my own brother, and resident pain in the ass scumbag, Maxwell Jacob Friedman?"

Wardlow attempts to hide a laugh and shifts in his chair. "Umm, I have to say. Yeah, it feels great. Thanks." He tells you.

"Oh no thanks needed here, big man." You laugh. "I think that we can all agree that you were doing the world a favor with that one." You insist and glance back down at your paper. "Now you grew up in a very small town, which apparently is home to the 3rd largest Amish population in the country. How was it growing up Amish?" You joke with a serious look on your face.

Again, Wardlow stifles a small laugh. "Well, I wasn't really Amish growing up." He admits. "But I did know a lot of them as a kid." He adds.

"Now I assume that when you say 'knew them,' you really mean that you freelanced as a workhorse for them?" You quip. "You know, raising barns and carrying lumber? Things like that?"

"Uh, yeah sure. I guess you could say that." Wardlow nods.

You rattle off a few more ridiculous question that you've got written down. But Wardlow seems to have a good answer for every one of them. The chemistry in the room is at an all time high with every back-and-forth exchange.

"Now according to my sources, you claim that you strive to up the numbers in AEW's female demographics. As well as their 19-40 demo's as well?" You ask Wardlow the last question on your list.

"Yes." Wardlow nods.

"Well." You uncross your legs and lean forward in your chair. "It just so happens that I am a member of both of those demographics. So please, pitch me your case for upping these rating." You ask him.

Wardlow nods, a grin playing on his face. "Alright." He agrees and gets to his feet.

You watch with your hands folded in front of you as Wardlow gets up and carefully pulls his shirt over his head. He turns to the camera and does a couple of flexes before he turns back to you.

You remain stone-faced at the impressive display. "Okay, solid point." You nodd at him. "But what if I'm not convinced?" You challenge him.

"I bet that I could lift and hold you on one shoulder no problem." Wardlow replies without missing a beat.

Before you can get a reply out, Wardlow hauls you to your feet by the arm. You get pulled to your feet and he does as promised with very little effort. You are hauled up and set on his left shoulder with ease and you finally break character and let out a laugh.

"Damn!" You laugh as Wardlow sets you back down on the floor. "Well a girl certainly can't argue with that." You sit back down in your chair.

You finish up the interview and strip off your microphone from your blouse. Wardlow lingers around after everything is finalized so you walk over to him to chat.

"Well, that was definitely the funnest interview that I've done." You laugh as you approach him.

Wardlow chuckles and nods in agreement. "Yeah, I had fun." He admits. "You know, you are way more fun than your brother." He jokes. "And prettier, too."

"I get that a lot." You giggle. "Hey, if you aren't busy. You wan't to grab some dinner with me?" You ask him.

"Sure." Wardlow grins down at you. "I could eat."

[zuko-always-lies]

The Avatar Comics and the problem they pose for Avatar Studios

With apparent confirmation that Bryke are aiming to create new works within the lifetime of the Gaang, one readily apparent issue I see is the Avatar Comics. One of the first things Disney did when they bought Star Wars was to declare the entire existing Extended Universe noncanon, as otherwise it would be entirely impossible to create a sequel trilogy. Avatar Studios very much faces the same problem if they want to create media set in the 40 or so years immediately following the Hundred Years War.

There are three issues that the Avatar Comics present:

1) They suck bigtime and are not great media, and the fandom knows it and tends to heavily dislike them(for one example, “comics compliant” fics on AO3 have become quite rare).

2) Very few people have actually read the comics, particularly the later instalments. Moreover, the fans brought in by the Avatar Renascence are less likely to have read them, as are more casual fans, two demographics critical for the success of anything Avatar Studios puts out.

3) Despite #1 and #2, Bryke have been heavily involved in the Avatar comics since the beginning, and have always clearly declared them to be Official Canon. This seems like it would likely put the Disney route off the table.

So we have a situation where new movies set after the Hundred Years War must work off the premise that the comics are canon, even though very few people have ever read them, and a very large portion of the people who have heavily dislike them and their depiction of the postwar world. Moreover, as I will discuss a bit below, the comics have already done many of the postwar plots that would be most interesting for a movie.

Can’t the movies just gloss over the events of the comics? Theoretically be canon to them while largely ignoring their existence? The issue is that, while surprisingly little important actually happened over the course of the six comics trilogies, they still managed to include many important plot developments that would be very difficult for any movie, particularly a Firelord Zuko movie, to ignore:

1) Ursa’s postwar fate(i.e. Zuko finding his mother)

2) Azula’s postwar fate(and really her actions in the comics trilogies would be impossible to ignore, in addition to being completely nonsensical outside the context of the comics).

3) Azula and Ursa’s relationship.

4) Ursa’s backstory.

5) Kiyi’s existence.

6) How Republic City got founded, and the fact that the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom nearly fought another war over it.

7) Zuko and Mai breaking up.

8) Political opposition in the Fire Nation to Zuko, including Mai’s father.

9) The Kyoshi Warriors randomly becoming palace guards in the Fire Nation.

10) Toph founding a metal bending academy.

11) Hakoda picking up a new girlfriend.

12) The entire conflict between the Northern and Southern Water Tribe in the North and South.

It would be very hard for a new movie set postwar to ignore all of these developments, yet including them, with many of them not making very much sense on their own terms, means relying on the audience to read the comics, even though very few of them have, and those who have are likely not to be very interested in continuations off of them.

[dhaaruni]

This abortion ban in TX is just the latest ex., but, you can tell people don’t actually want a real path for Dems to address the issue. They always say Biden should do something!!! And then when you point out why he can’t, and why we don’t have enough votes in the Senate, they’re like that doesn’t stop Republicans!, they take a stand even when it’s not accomplishing anything so their voters know they’re fighting for them! But when Biden set up a commission to examine changes to the SC and Durbin says the Senate Judiciary Committee’s going to hold a hearing about abuse of the shadow docket they’re like that won’t do anything typical Dems just doing things for show! It’s just so clear the goal is to demoralize voters into feeling like they do - Dems are never ever worth fighting for, and Repubs escape all the blame

Once again, I'm begging Democrats, including elected officials, to grasp the very simple concept that Democrats can only do so much with a 50-50 Senate with our deciding vote repping a state Donald Trump won by 40, and the only people who can change that fact are American voters.

Idk, @femalegothic and I were discussing this today but I think American exceptionalism kills us at the ballot box. Americans have a "me first" outlook, and it's not just white Americans either, it's all Americans.

Look at it like this: every single demographic except white men swung towards Trump in 2020 from 2016. Hillary Clinton won a greater percentage of every single demographic, including white women, than Joe Biden did but he won a marginal percentage more of white men so he won the election and she lost. Trump got like 12 million more votes in 2020 than he did in 2016, which means people saw what Trump did for four years, and went "yeah, we want four more years of that."

Donald Trump yelled at all his rallies how Cory Booker would come take over the suburbs and that's not even a dogwhistle that's a racist siren, and yet, he got a greater percentage of the Black vote than he did in 2016! I said it before and I'll say it again but Donald Trump didn't win because Hillary Clinton was a bad candidate or a bad person or whatever. He won because he said the things that a large percentage of America believes, but doesn't have the guts to say and he made it acceptable to say them. When he yelled that all Mexicans are rapists, a large part of America went "so true bestie!!" and when he said that men should grab women by the pussy, a whole bunch of men went "wow it's so awesome he puts those dumb bitches in their place."

I.e. Donald Trump didn't win despite being a racist misogynist, he won because of it, and the sooner we accept that reality, the better.

Because the media likes incompetence and sensationalism and a Democratic administration doesn't give them that, and makes them wade through complex policy documentation to write their pieces instead of pithy tweets shot off at 2am.

This piece is evergreen, especially this part:

[msgrumpygills]

Social Media Anon here!

I'll update on the Walker finals in a minute (spoiler: not good) but first...

Gen's Instagram! She buys followers and likes and when she doesn't... it falls through the floor.

These are the likes on her last posts, most recent first.

13.5k, 21.3k, 23.3k, 7.1k, 2.6k, 68k (Jared picture!), 25.2k, 52k (odette video), 4.6k, 19.5k, 23.7k, 18.2k, 20.8k, 30.5k, 17.6k, 44.7k, 139k (Valentine's with Jared), 36,4k, 29.3K, 22.2k, 18k, 23.2k, 6.8k, 79k (video of a slug!), 60.5k (Jared AND dogs).

Some seriously low numbers here! We've never seen 2k and 4k before. Even thirst Jared isn't pulling in the figures. She used to be able to count on him getting her 200k a post, now even Valentine's only got 139k and others don't get into 6 figures!

Obviously her engagement rate has dropped to 2.4%, but unless she gets some big hitter posts in the next 10 posts that is going to go well into the single percents.

Her posting rate has dropped so, who knows, she might be preparing for her new career in the Walker prequel ;)

I would say that, after a period of large (and suspicious) daily gains, the normal pattern of follower loss has returned. She is now under 1.350k. if that, miraculous, follower increase hadn't been occurring, she'd be at about 1.335 at the moment.

For clarity Jared is showing at 3.4% now, but with a lot of media. Which means he is working hard to stay in the public consciousness. A lot of that media will be built from the prequel casting announcements, which is a little indirect.

Towwn have reached the giddy heights of nearly 26k followers. So with a combined following of 7.3m followers, the Padapower couple have managed to convert.... less than 26k followers to a page that doesn't charge anything. Good thing they weren't selling anything.

So... not looking that C list at the moment...

Onto Walker, there isn't a new episode until 31st March. The final figures came in at .854m viewers (-5%) and .11 demographic (-8%). That's the second lowest viewers and the third lowest demographic. Since the start of Season 2, it has lost 40% of its demographic and 30% of it's viewers. Given it lost 70% of each in season 1... this isn't looking good.

Of course, this is CW territory, where shows with 200k viewers stay on air but, again, the stars for those don't get paid 175k an episode (purported SPN salary).

Obviously, it's green lit of Season 3, this is the big fish in the little pond with a leak in it... but if it continues to fall like this by Season 3 it'll be in the 0.5m category.... not what would be expected from the 3.47m start!

Finally, just to bore you further... this demographic is 70+ (so not SPN fans following over), it's also rotating (as indicated by the jumps in viewers) which mean very few people are committed to this show (the subreddit has less than 700 people and no one posts compared to the 179k on the SPN subreddit).

I can't stress enough how awful that demographic looks, it's old, it's unengaged and it's a small number.

I think a lot now rests on the prequel, because the main show doesn't have stable legs.

Missed you, sweet Social Media Anon! 

I’ve noticed that she hasn’t been as active and my conspiracy theory side is like “What’s goin’ on?” but I doubt it’s anything good like her learning and trying to do better. 

But of course, she had to make sure that she made a big deal about O’s birthday! Gotta make sure everyone remembers who the favorite prop is! 

I wonder if Jared realized how much his social media numbers were slipping, or if this resurgence in posts is because he’s trying to drum up interest in himself again to make sure people are interested in Walker/the prequel? 

Still blows my mind that together they can’t drum up interest in Towwn. I still want to know the sales for Mantra and how they compare to Jared’s follower numbers, but I don’t know if there’s a way to get a legit reading? 

Was it ever made known whether or not Jared took a pay cut for Walker? My memory is terrible and I can’t remember if anyone knew or had an idea?  I still can’t believe (but I kinda can) that people are still raving about this show like it’s going to save CW when the numbers and things say otherwise. Maybe they’re going to just give it a mediocre attempt for season three and then try and put all of their real efforts into the prequel?

Thank you for all of your work and input! You must have some real patience for all of this! <3

[glitterytidalwavedragon]

Expanding into my other Fandoms (I’m gonna have to take a stance) Read the whole thing please.

One of my oldest and most beloved anime is Inuyasha. As of late I have been binged watching the hell out of it as I am getting my BFF into different anime shows. We are really close to entering the Yashahime part of the series, and she asked if I planned to write fanfiction involving the one character which made me even watch the show as a 10-year-old.

Sesshomaru

The first episode I ever watched involved this aloof, entitled dog fighting his brother over the sword in their father’s grave. Specifically, it was part 3 of that whole episode series were Kagome pulled out the sword. I at the time had 3 dogs of German Sheppard/wolf hybrid, they were MASSIVE dogs, fell in love with the big white fluff that was Sesshomaru’s demon form. I use to sneak staying up and watch the show faithfully to see the goodest boy as it was only on at 11pm EST on adult swim. Which meant it was bad and I was breaking the rules, I felt like a rebel.

Now I hesitated answering that question. She has no idea of what is in Yashahime, she is being careful not to spoil it so I told her I didn’t know. Recently, to find out what the feel is for Sesshomaru content, I looked into the tag on tumblr…

OH MY GOD.

Sesshomaru’s tag is FLOODED with hate. Like every four post, there is hate, distain, and attacking happening. As someone who watches Yashahime, I quickly knew why.

Sessrin.

Even now I sigh. And I sigh HARD. I am not for, nor am I against the Sessrin train. Same for the Sesskagu train. I think both sides need to look at things on a logical prospective. I plan to do just that. I know I will get hate from the either side and maybe some support as well. But if I am going to do anything in this fandom (as I like doing ships and reader inserts) it will come up.

So, like my Kaiba post, and my Sebastian Heel post, I will use my research skills as well as my COLLEGE DEGREE WHICH HAS BOTH ART AND MEDIEVAL HISTORY labelled on it to explain why this progression in the story is normal to anti-Sessrin fans and why this isn’t a crime by story standards nor should we look at it as a crime.

AS WELL

Explain to Sessrin fans why it is so weird for non-shippers to see it play out and why so much hate formed.

As I let out another sigh, we shall begin. Let’s start at an historical prospective. (Links at the bottom).

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING! I’LL BE ABLE TO TELL!

~~

I will start with the information I can access right away.

While finding charts on the life-span of common folk in 1590’s Feudal Japan is rather difficult, Ancient.edu states that the average lifespan was about 50. To put this in perspective, the average lifespan of Europeans at the time was somewhere between 40-45 with the latter being rare. Since most of us reading are not from Japanese descent, I will through Europe in this first.

If we look at the same time frame of 1590, we are looking at most of Western Europe had now entered the age of Renaissance. According to sources from Learning Resources in association with the National Gallery of Art, marriage was not what TV drama’s from HBO or Hulu depicted. By today standards they would be a crime, as the average age for marriage of an adult female was age 14…

The reasoning behind the young marriage age had multiple factors. First being, females were considered an adult once they were menstruating. Birthing also proved to be fatal, and since the lifespan was at best 40 and 45 if they were lucky, there was really no room to wait. Also Europe at the time had became hugely focused on making sure blood lines were legitimate, meaning to ensure the girl was a virgin, the moment she was able to reproduced she was married off. Those they married were not young teenagers either. Most marriages, a man would be in their thirties, and had probably multiple wives as women died more than men when not counting the battle field.

To make matters worse for the Renaissance Lady, these marriages would leave many young males unable to marry and if their husband died in battle, well, unfortunately they were not seen as desirable. This was due to the idea of a ‘free woman’. Should the girl not have a father, brother or uncle to return to as they too died, a widow had her freedom. But that freedom came at a cost. She would be assumed to have slept around, and in many writings, such as the Canterbury Tales, where Geoffrey Chaucer writes about a Window on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land survived her five husbands and the men in her family. In short, she was made to be a slut and to be looked down upon as no man controlled her.

The point of talking about Europe is because that is something most of us Non-Asian or Japanese people consume and like to paint in large romantic brush strokes of knights and magic. Honestly, reading G.R.R.Martin Song of Ice and Fire, he uses this model as we see the Queen of Dragons, Danny start off at age thirteen shortly after she had her first menstruation.  

Now let’s look at Feudal Japan.

As stated before, the lifespan was around 50 years. In some populations, this was even shorter. Nagaoka, Hirata, Yokota and Matsu’ura’s on demographic data at the Yuigahama-minami area in Kamakura, Japan and found both male and female remains that suggested life expectancy to have ended around age 24-25. This was largely due to living conditions and public health. In areas like these, it would make the most sense to marry and repopulate quickly as the expectancy of life was half the national average at the time.

To my frustration, I could not find a clear marriage age for Japanese women at the time of the edo period. HOWEVER, where there is a will there is a way. I took a look at famous Lords or Daimyo’s of the time. The average age of marriage of their wives was between 12-14. Much younger than I expected, but it made sense considering this is a time where war ran the show and marriage was strictly about political gain. One of these Daimyo’s was Masamune Date, who was also 13, but then as he got older took concubines who became considerably younger than him as he became older. The goal was to have as many children as possible for hires and for political marriages to gain power.

Now lets look at Inuyasha the MANGA

Lets get the manga timeline proper here. The whole adventure took place in 11 months, a month shy of Kagome’s 16th birthday. Doing a few estimations, Rin would have travelled with Sesshomaru about 8-9 of those months. But before we get into the relationship, lets look at something the ANIME made a huge mistake with in the beginning and tried to fix as the story went on.

For some reason I could only fine gifs for the Early appearances of Sesshomaru so bear with me.

Early appearances in the manga

 ^ He was so fickle and a trickster then...

Now early apperances in the anime.

Later appearance in the manga

Laster appearance in the anime

Notice the issue here? 

Sesshomaru was CONSIDERABLY younger looking in the start of the manga. In the anime, he started off looking like an fully adult male. But as the anime went on, they tried to make Sesshomaru look younger with subtle changes to his jaw line, eye size, and his height. Yeah, his height had changed. They made him shorter.

While in the manga, we see this young-teen looking demon, slowly mature over 11 months to look like he is in his later teens and by series end, closer to being in his late teens or twenty. Yes, art changes over time, but the anime went a reverse route. I can only guess they spoke to the author of Inuyasha about her ships, as they did Drama CDs, and realized the mistake that was made in making him more mature than he was.

You can’t tell me he doesn’t look closer to his manga self in the final act, because he does.

Since we are on the topic of the anime, lets be clear. The anime timeline and manga timeline are very different. The story in the anime (in the English) suggests that OVER a year has past since Kagome started her journey. They try to fix this in the final act, but it was still so muddled as previous seasons are to be taken as cannon. This could have been due to an translation error in the early production when the anime no longer had anymore manga material to reference. But whatever the case, for English viewers the time the group spent together felt much longer.

So now we come to the heart of the issue.

Because of the mistakes of the anime, a lot of anti-sessrin see the relationship as father daughter. I’ll be honest, watching the anime and solely the anime as a teenager and as an adult (as the manga was on hold for a very long time due to author’s health. I was in college when it finished.), I too thought it was just a father-daughter relationship and Jaken the nanny who got punched all the time. In fact, the English took hard liberties with Kagura, as the English dubs often do with characters, and made it very clear her feelings for the demon lord and Sesshomaru very much recognized them (though he never responded). Even in her death scene, it felt as if he was saying good bye to a friend more than love interest. But who really knows, as there are things that point otherwise.  When another demon mock’s Kagura’s death, Sesshomaru gets super pissy.

The manga did also play with this fact when it came out in English, idk if the wording or message is different in the Japanese. Translation errors happen a lot even in todays releases, look at Kuroshitsuji.  So of course most anti-sessrin’s did not see this coming in Yashahime when Rin was named mother. In fact it felt like a betrayal as we were sure Sesshomaru had no romantic feelings.

Then there was the Kohaku/Rin mashup that was hinted left and right. The English anime, with its overly dramatic and blunt emotions made it appear one way. That in the end the two kids would probably be married. Then the anime as a whole made Sesshomaru older than intended. I can see why and understand how this became a problem.

On the other side of that coin.

If you followed the dub, seen ‘Swords of an Honorable Ruler’ and read the manga… Sesshomaru was not fatherly to Rin at all. In fact, Jaken picked up all of that leg work. Rin worried for Kohaku, but clearly loved Lord Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru cared about Kagura but he almost CRIED when he lost Rin.

We have to remember that Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship must have been very hard for the demon. While we never see his mental process expect for a few rare times, we have to remember he hated humans. In the movie, he blamed a human for the early death of his father, Sesshomaru killed without mercy. It made sense that he wouldn’t be fatherly to Rin as her just being there should have caused countless inner conflicts. Hell, he even says his father’s weakness was humans, and look who picked up that trait.

Sesshomaru was designed to, someday, walk in his father’s footsteps. So sess/rin, not a surprise. Also when you see it in a historical perspective, Rin having kids around age 15-16, makes sense. In fact you could argue he waited too long for the time period.

We also need to look more at the manga when concerned with Yashahime. 8-9 months is all Rin travelled with him and he was like hold up, and left her at the village because he KNEW she needed to come to her own conclusion. That no matter what she picked he would live with and protect her. Unconditional love on his end. She cannon wise spent YEARS living with humans and MONTHS with Sesshomaru. Again, by manga standards of cannon.

Now I can already hear the screaming about age and what not. Some sources say Sesshomaru is over 900, by the rule of thumb, if we look at anime and movie releases, we have Sesshomaru being over 500 with no define age and Inuyasha around 270 years old being more pinpointed due to the movie. Just by going by ANIME CANNON. Kagome and Inuyasha, you have a 15 year old with a 270 year old man. If you say being pinned to the tree doesn’t count, then you have 220.

Also, here is something very interesting. In the episode where Inuyasha meets the unmother, he tells her, thinking it was his mom, she died when he was very small and we have flash backs later in the series of him being small running from demons. Demons clearly age much slower than humans, even half-demons. Inuyasha can be 270 but mentally and physically be 15, the same logic works for Sesshomaru, who in the manga is not much older than Inuyasha.

In the manga, there wasn’t any grooming, in the anime, there was a ton of mess-ups but no grooming.

Would this fly in todays world? HELL NO! NO, its gross, she’s a kid. Stop.

I know any fanfic I write will lean heavily on the side of father/daughter because that is what I grew up seeing on the screen. I can’t think of Rin as an adult because years of seeing her as a cheerful little girl. It’s like seeing G.O.T Arya about to have sex for the first time in season 8… I remember when she was a kid on the show. It was way to weird and I had to look away until it ended. But that’s my 2021 mentality.

But Inuyasha is not taking place in 2021. Feudal Japan is a whole other era with its own beliefs, morals and way of life. Those who understand this have nothing wrong with them. They just understand history.

Also, just to bang some nails in…

Anyone remember Bleach? Remember the MOST accepted couple was Ichigo and Rukia…. Rukia who was hundreds of years old and Ichigo who was 15… or Ichigo’s mom who was a teenager and his dad also hundreds of years old.

Most of this also boils down to Sesshomaru being a dude. As in reverse roles in animes its accepted and they don’t have the same historical context. Inuyasha is based off of historical context of Feudal Japan.

We need to stop spreading hate. We can’t accept some forms of literature because its European fantasy but bash other fantasy based literature for doing the same thing.

Sure, its weird for those who were use to seeing the father/daughter dynamic. Yes, there are extreme sessrin fans who post really questionable illegal content when they decide to leave Rin as an 8-year-old…

But this wasn’t ever meant to be perverted. The story was meant to make sense on a logical and historical base.

I hope everyone takes the time to read this. I love Inuyasha, I love Sesshomaru. I am just sick of seeing so many people fighting over what should be the revival of a beloved series. While yes, there is still room for sess/rin not being a thing, until it is stated otherwise, why hate each other? This fandom will only lose people by doing this. Calling people names or accusing them of illegal endorsement can hurt someone these days over social media.

Tumblr allows you to block tags. You don’t have to read anything or watch anything you don’t like. We gain nothing from attacking each other but can lose so much by doing so. Fanart, really good fan fiction, friends, ideas, sharing fond memories. Both sides have the right to feel as they feel, but no right in hurting each other.

A fandom is meant to bring people together. Not start a war…

Thank you.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ajpa.20402

http://www.italianrenaissanceresources.com/units/unit-2/essays/husbands-and-wives/#:~:text=Marriage%20not%20only%20reflected%20order,to%20ensure%20the%20bride's%20virginity.

https://www.ancient.eu/Canterbury_Tales/

https://www.ancient.eu/article/1424/daily-life-in-medieval-japan/#:~:text=Just%20as%20Japanese%20people%20today,in%20Western%20Europe%2C%20for%20example.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_Masamune

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megohime

[motownfiction]

40, 33, 22, 15

15. what's your favourite plotless fic you have written?

all of my stories are plotless lmfao ... but if we're going with stories i've written in this universe and on this blog, i'm going to have to go with the tiny vignette about how lucy got her name (after lucy westenra, my favorite girl in the entire literary canon, probably). it's just fun, and i think it encapsulates the dialogue i want to have between my character and the character she's named after pretty well. nothing happens but reflection and exposition, but it's still good.

22. what is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

i was hoping someone would ask me this question not because i have an answer for a current fandom or my current set of characters, who exist on some form of a continuous timeline but because i have an answer from the past. and it's dark.

so, unless i'm reading it to support my excellent, talented friends, i don't really read fic for particular ships. i don't have a lot of ships. it's just not the way i engage a text ... anymore. but it used to be.

as i've made somewhat clear on my main blog, when i was a very young teen (we're talking 13-14, so the first season and a half of this forsaken series), i shipped sam and freddie from icarly. in hindsight, this was the worst ship (and the worst show) because it was abusive for the lolz. and we went with it because that was the logic of the narrative. it didn't have any internal examination. it was just insensitive gag after insensitive gag. but here's the thing about kindhearted teenagers, which is what most of that shipper fanbase was at the time: we'll graft a kindhearted story onto the text even though deep down, in our hearts, we know it's not really there. we liked the general idea of sam and freddie because it offered us a bickering, bantering duo so much that we just kind of let the text of the show fall to the wayside and built our own world -- one where the characters of this show were actually kind to each other and didn't beat each other up all the time.

so what was great about reading fic where sam and freddie fell in love over and over again was that it gave me (and, i presume, a large chunk of that fanbase) a chance to see or imagine a television show that didn't exist but that i wanted really, really badly. and here's where i think media/technology history makes this really interesting: that show that i wanted? it did exist.

it was called dawson's creek.

i firmly believe that the reason people shipped sam and freddie is because they were ready for something like pacey and joey on dawson's creek -- characters who bicker and ostensibly dislike each other, but we know it's a mask for how much they really care for each other. and they do! to this day, pacey and joey are probably the most loving and endearing couple i've ever seen on a teen drama, and that includes seth and summer on the oc, who i also love! but we grafted pacey and joey onto sam and freddie without even knowing it because we'd never seen dawson's creek, and we probably weren't going to for a very long time. the show ended in 2003, when most of us were 6-10 years old and way outside its target demographic. one tree hill started on the wb later that year, but we were still way outside of its target demographic. there was no streaming, and i hardly remember seeing teen dramas like dawson's creek in syndication. the only shows we had to turn to with characters our own age were nickelodeon and disney channel kid-coms, and because these shows were aimed at a slightly younger demo, we got things like abuse for the lolz. these shows were essentially live-action cartoons, and there was the thought (however erroneous and irresponsible) that they could get away with it. organically, many 13-14-year-olds want dawson's creek. but in 2007-2009, they just don't know how to get it. couple that with the fact that we grew up watching sitcoms produced by a man who openly mocked teen dramas (specifically dawson's creek). we thought we were too good for that stuff because he and his team implied that we were. but we weren't! we just didn't know!

i don't really have a conclusion, and this response got way off topic, but the long and short of it is that sometimes, it just allows you to imagine a better world and better characters than the ones you're stuck with.

33. give your writing a compliment.

love my characters. they feel really tangible, and more importantly, they like each other. so, like, in one case, i know exactly why lucy and will are in love with each other, and it feels truly believable to me. i also think my dialogue is good -- a decent mixture of "this is how a person might say that" and "this is fiction, so it has to sound a little contrived." i think all of my characters have pretty distinct voices to the point where i don't always need dialogue tags -- a line for will is a totally different thing from a line for daniel. so, yeah. good characters who say good words. i think.

40. write a 9-word fic.

(this isn't fic, but you know)

Will forms a fist just for Charlie to suffer.

[pcos-and-gender-survey]

PCOS & Gender Survey Data Analysis Update: August 5th, 2021

Hello everyone! I'm very excited to share this update with you all, as it's a pretty big one!

I've gotten through a large bulk of the data analysis. Currently, I have it divided into a few sections: the opening section is the demographic information, then it goes into the survey questions one at a time, which subdivides into 4 sections based on the general idea for different questions, with subdivisions in those to look at each question individually, and to observe differences between groups based on presence or lack of PCOS and gender

I've just completed getting the analysis done of the last section of the document!

Next, I'll add in my analysis for the written responses (which I have on a different document) and add some of the written responses themselves, add the flaws and concerns of the survey, then go through the document to clean up the writing (it's extremely rough and repetitive as it is now, so I want to edit it so it's easier to read), and then I should be done!

Unfortunately, I can't make any guarantees for how long this will take, but I'm getting to the final stages. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'll be able to do a comparison between different websites respondents found the survey through like I did last year, given how much work just the basic comparison has been thus far. I could possibly do a comparison at a later time on its own document, but I won't make any promises, especially with university kicking in again next month

I should point out that the nature of the survey this year was much different compared to last year, especially because I had surveys for two different groups. This has caused much delay in analyzing the data, as there is much more data to analyze, even if I had less responses overall compared to last year. Last year's results document ended up being 40 pages, and thus far, this year's results document is up to 92 pages. With that in mind, this year's document is going to be a lot longer (as it already is) and is going to be a lot more complex than last year's survey, so keep that in mind when I release the results! I'll make it as understandable as possible, but unfortunately there isn't much I can do about the sheer size of the document itself

I might release the raw data as well so that people can analyze it themselves if they so please, but I'm still deciding on that. I did mention the possibility in the information at the start of the survey itself, so that people would know before consenting, but I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable with that. But I would also love to see the data analyzed in ways that I simply can't do at the moment

As always, I'll keep you all posted!