#i knew i couldn't be the only one thinking about that ffs. especially in a political marriage setting

[sayuri-of-the-valley]

On how Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic shifted in s2:

Okay so I was inspired by this lovely post by @rebeccasteventaylor which I couldn't find the link to in order to reblog directly, but if anyone has a link to it pls I'd love to put it here:

Anyway, while I absolutely 100% agree with @rebeccasteventaylor 's meta, I have to point out that s2 shifted it a little. Especially for Aziraphale.

We don't see him looking away trying to hide his heart eyes anymore as he used to do in s1 (we all remember the "smitten" scene, only to cite ONE). Compare the little breath of lust from the Bastille (when he looks away twice) to the "don't hesitate to ask me if you have any questions about love" one.

In s2, he touches Crowley like crazy. He touches his chest, his hand, his back, asks him to dance, gives him a whole ass cotillion ball.

He was deliberately and explicitly pursuing Crowley this season. If s1 was all Crowley pursuing Aziraphale, s2 was all Aziraphale pursuing Crowley.

And Crowley seemed to either not notice or not acknowledge that Aziraphale was doing that (the way he said Aziraphale only has 3 reasons to call him still drives me crazy. Crowley ffs those were ALL the reasons there is to call someone. He's ALWAYS thinking of calling YOU).

I think Crowley was afraid. Probably for the same reason he never told Aziraphale he was homeless. Which is sad and kinda doesn't make sense at first bc this is all Crowley has ever wanted, right?

Until we remember the last time Crowley let himself love and be loved freely, he was cast away (yes, the Fall). He lost everything bc he wasn't worthy according to some crazy criteria. Apparently he doesn't even know what he DID exactly.

I wonder if Crowley thinks he's not worthy of Aziraphale. I wonder if that's why he refused to see their love for centuries until Nina threw it at his face (Nina LITERALLY doing the Lord's work). I wonder if he's afraid of loving and letting himself be loved and then losing it again. Afraid of daring to ASK and losing everything. Again.

And Crowley wasn't *happy* this season, even with their freedom. I wonder if Aziraphale was mistakenly arriving at the conclusion that he was not enough to make Crowley happy. That him alone would never make Crowley smile the way he did when creating nebulae.

These 4 years were breathing space between the two "wars", according to Crowley himself in s1. And I think Crowley doesn't deal well with their relationship in a calm environment. He only knows how to make grand gestures, and heroic rescues, and go fast and act on impulse because then he doesn't have to THINK. Once he needs to sit down and make a commitment (telling Aziraphale he's homeless for ex), he just STOPS, he can't.

Aziraphale was the opposite. The calmness without any danger was giving him all the space he needed to act on his feelings, while the sense of danger always made him enter denial mode (which ironically seemed to be Crowley's mode in s2).

Of course they still need to put a name on what they are and stop pretending, Nina was absolutely right (and Crowley did catch up on that faster in those last 15min), maybe Aziraphale was still lacking this bit even if he was pursuing Crowley, but we can't deny that until those last 15min the "us" was coming from Aziraphale.

It's sad to realise that unconsciously, without even noticing, Crowley was rejecting Aziraphale almost the whole season.

UNTIL suddenly there's a huge problem, a desperate situation and he wants to abandon everything, take Aziraphale and run away again! (his original plan wasn't even to run away, it was to go to the Ritz). And who can blame him after what happened when he Fell? The Fall was totally unexpected, nobody even knew that could HAPPEN.

Crowley doesn't think himself worthy of Aziraphale (he's UNFORGIVABLE!), and Aziraphale doesn't think he's enough to make Crowley TRULY unashamedly happy and carefree.

And they're BOTH immensely WRONG ofc, we can all see it. They're each other's WORLD.

But they just assume stuff and never ASK, never TALK (bc well, it was literally dangerous before, I get it, their communication issues don't come from nowhere). That's why they have different perspectives on how to fix their situation in the end.

And btw I have to add we can't ignore Crowley was opening himself more too, always taking off his glasses when he was at the Bookshop for example. Ironically he was just a bit slower than Aziraphale for once. All that ofc until those last 15min, when they both change back to their old behaviours (makes me want to bang my forehead onto a wall).

I do believe they'd get there if the Metatron hadn't intervened (interesting that he chose this *exact* moment), especially after that little push from Maggie and Nina (for Crowley) and ofc brielzebub (for Aziraphale) that was gonna make them BOTH confess their feelings.

Anyway, bottom line, fuck the Metatron.

This is also a thread on Twitter :D

[tamelee]

pls bottom naruto is disgusting stop drawing this ooc cringe

Eh? And it hadn't even been a full day.

Anyway, do you know what this means?:

It means… that I don’t give a damn about your whiny gibberish about this top/bottom bullshit, because it sounds incredibly silly. (And wrong because I draw both?)

It’s fine to have a preference, good for you (I have one too!), but if all you care about between a character-dynamic is the single notion which establishes a rule within a fandom that demands only this particular dick in only that particular booty and nothing else, while dividing yourselves between "us and them" while seeing the people who like the same exact characters as your "enemy" and treating them as such— well, 

I have nothing to say to you, I couldn’t care less what you think about me and I don’t know you. 

But for the sake of other creators who are often a target also, some which I know quit because of this… there is a little something I'd like to say about these servers:

You don’t think I (we) know what is said in there and by who? 👀 That your rules of "what is said on here stays here" with a bunch of people online that you don't know, is actually respected? Why do you think I never join any. And bet your ass that I'm not the only one. This constant fighting between NS/SN is such an embarrassment for this fandom, seriously. I hope you realize that.

Because, instead of encouraging a (new) creator to share something about the characters you claim to love (for fucking free) you go off chastise them for not “doing it right”/“your way”, pretending it's some unspoken commission no one knew of or was paid for. Instead of being happy there’s still so much creative contribution for characters from a story that ended years ago, you go complain under fanfics and dishearten writers, often grinning away with your little server-“friends” and make fun of work someone poured their heart in. Or, you huff, puff and breathe fire as you make plans to cancel them out of pure bitterness, to the point (especially new) creators are too scared and dispirited to ever share anything again. It's easy to do anonymously, aye? And if you think that doesn’t affect their lives and sends them right back into a crestfallen pit of dark hell because it prevents them to do/share the single thing in life that gave them a bit of joy, then...

Congratulations; you’re a heartless bastard.

And you, as a fan, did yourself dirty too.

Do you know how many people don’t want to share anything at all for this fandom because you people leave comments, tags, asks, tweets constantly complaining about an incorrect portrayal of the (in your opinion) only acceptable dynamic, like a bunch a brats? Do you? Because I’ve talked to quite a few of these discouraged creators, they have to hope for the best and pray they’re spared from your scrutiny. I receive it from both sides every now and then.

Again, congratulations: you’re the reason there’s less chance of you getting what you want in the first place. 

Do you... really not realize?

The more you squabble with "your enemy" (lol) the more it affects the "us" you care about while the rest of us just bask in the glory that is SNS/NSN and couldn't care less about what you think/have to say. So, keep everyone else out of it and go mope elsewhere.

But, between you and me? There are better ways to share what you think is right. Make something yourself, because what's stopping you?

You’re perfectly capable, it doesn’t have to be art or a fic, maybe there’s just something in the story that you really enjoyed— write about it. Make a meta. Post the panel, show the moment that determined your undying love for this single dynamic and why— whatever.  Because, wouldn't it be nice having someone encourage you to create something you like? 😬 Especially because you and your server feel so strongly about it? And then you don't have to depend on others either?

Wouldn't it be nice?

Well?

Hm!?

Try it, ffs.

[reticent-writer]

Hi Can I Ask for a Scenario of the Hashiras (Apart from Rengoku, Shinbou) With Their Father Figure Discovering They Are Blood Relatives and Being Their Real Father.

Which Was Separated From Them. I'd Love To See Sanemi Discovering That The Monstrous "Father" He Had Isn't The Real One And Obanai Discovering That His "Family" Stole Him From His True Parents And The Fact Of Obanai Discovering He Was Loved By His Real Parents.

They Deserve So Much Love Please.

I've had this picture for a while and been wanting to use it.

An: for fathers figures I go with their occupation from other fics.

Mitsuri's ff is a Baker. Giyuu and Rengoku's is a retired hashira. Shinobu's is a doctor. Obanai, muichirou, sanemi and tengen are people from their past.

demon slayer master list

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

Sanemi

When Sanemi was younger you would constantly visit him and his siblings, oftentimes helping his mother with his "father" when he was drunk. Sanemi and his siblings were yours.

You hated seeing how Kyogo would treat your kids, but you vowed not to say a word because Shizu did not want to tell him that they weren't his.

Unfortunately, you weren't there when tragedy struck.

You came clean when everything settled down. Genya was ecstatic but Sanemi was about to beat your ass.

"You let us deal with that asshole for YEARS and said NOTHING!" He screamed as he pounded on your chest.

"I'm so sorry, Your mother swore me to secrecy. I wanted to tell you so bad." You said, catching his wrists as he tried to punch you. You could barely see his frustrated and tear-stained face right before he pushed it into your chest.

This poor 14-year-old boy had lost his mom and siblings but at least now he has a proper father.

"I'm glad your my actual dad." He muttered as his arms fell limp.

"Me too."

Obanai

When Obanai was born he was immediately taken away from you and your wife, who unfortunately just passed from birth complications. Being in the infamous Obanai clan is hell on earth.

They didn't care that he was your son, what mattered to them was that he was the only born blood male of the entire clan.

(ya know when your family thinks that they are entitled to something you own just because they're family) Obanai grew up just thinking you were a father figure who called him son. You were always there for him especially when he was still in the clan's clutches. While he was with the clan you told him many stories, one of which is about your wife and that she was pregnant but had complications and died during labor, but you never said what happened to the baby.

Today you were watching him train, he looked a bit off, like he had something on his mind.

"Hi son, did you eat today?" You ask interrupting his training with bento boxes in hand.

"No."

"Come eat I made lunch." You beckon him over with a wave of your hand and he listened.

He sat next to you and asked, "What happened with your baby?

All you could do was look at him. It just came out of the blue. You were tongue-tied and didn't know what to say.

"My child?"

"Yeah, what happened to him? You never told me you always stopped the story after your wife died." He asked again. You had to tell him eventually, why not now?

"Well, my son was taken from me, but I still got to watch him grow up. Unfortunately, I couldn't save him from getting hurt. A snake demon didn't like his uniqueness and wanted to make him more like her, She had the clan slit his mouth."

Your words marrinated in Iguro's mind as he realized you narrated his childhood.

"I'm sorry I never told you. I was scared of your reaction."

He didn't respond, instead he scooted a little closer and laid his head on your shoulder and started to eat.

It felt like an entirety before he said something, "thank you... For everything."

Giyuu

You were absent for most of his life, he only knew you existed from letters you'd send him and his sister.

He didn't know what you did, where you lived or if you had a second family, so when he met you he didn't think you were his father. More like someone who looked out for him while he took your spot as the water hashira.

He only found out because he went to your house and found a picture of his sister on a offering table in a spare room.

"Hey who's this?" He asked and you walked into the small room.

"My daughter. I wasn't there to save her but my son is an excellent fighter, a hashira."

Giyuu just stared at you. His eyes starting to tear up

"Are you alright?" You tried to comfort him but he backed away and covered his face with his hands.

"I'm fine this room is just dusty."

"Okay." You chuckled and patted his back.

In a blink of an eye and turned to face you and hug you.

If any other Hashira were present they'd certainly tease him.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

[obitoslover]

Your perspective on things is AMAZING. I have no words, I'm just

Your insight on the characters and situations is just-- it feels so canon/dark (not "light hearted" as the actual series, but fitting with Konoha Founders era) I feel I can touch it with my own hands (pls tell me what's that fanfic so I'll follow/subscribe.)

And I love the historical facts, I really admire how much you know about japanese history and language

@narutobrainrotstuff @evilkitten3

mutuals what do you think it would happen if madara was the first hokage? excluding kurozetsu's whole plot ofc

[dykebrokendog]

Ahaha anyway so medfet might be one of my biggest kinks especially bc it's insanely easy to fetishisize transition.

For example, you've got all these surgeries lined up over the next couple years, breast augmentation, ffs, bbl, and bottom surgery. Each one is a new opportunity for men to make you what they want to see.

The surgeon that youre trusting to do your tits persuading you to get a cup size larger than you wanted yourself, telling you that you dont know what youre talking about and bigger is better anyway. You might be disappointed if the change isn't noticeable. They'll just look the same. Despite hesitantly agreeing to go larger, he still takes it upon himself to go just a bit bigger than you agreed, and convinces you it's just the swelling.

The surgeon in charge of your ffs talking you into lip filler and a nose job, and takes more than a couple extra liberties with your cheeks and jawline to make sure you meet the beauty standard. What men prefer in women. And besides, ffs takes a long time to heal, you won't even notice as your face heals into its new shape.

By the time your "body contouring appointment" (we all know its a bbl appointment) comes up youve given up on the idea that the doctors will listen to what you want, absent mindedly nodding your head as they tell you you'll need to go larger to balance out your perfect breasts (was that appropriate for him to say...? You couldn't tell anymore). Waking up a little more cinched at the waist, a lot wider at the hips, he tells you its "just swelling". But why would you question a doctor? He knows best. By the time its healed you see that he lied, it was practically cartoonish, but you'd gotten used to the way that your hips swayed and the way your ass jiggled from even small movements.

You'd also gotten used to how much your titties bounced. And how it was much easier to smile at men when they complimented your pretty face (and your prettier lips). You'd gotten used to men finding excuses for touching you, it felt natural now. Your body was catered to them. It was made for them. Made to be touched. Made to be enjoyed.

By the time you finally reach that landmark surgery to get your cunt, you trusted your doctors more than your own desires. You wanted Him to tell you what you want. He told you you needed it tight, and deep, something that will feel nice around cock. He assumes you would only be fucked on cocks, what else would you need a pussy for?

Coming out the other end of your transition different. Dumber and needier. The men knew what was best for you and made sure that you'd be what they wanted. What they knew every man wanted from you. No point in getting the surgeries unless you want to be a fuck doll anyway, so why even get the choice? You're happy. They're happy.

Hope you like this, ik its a lot more extra than just the bottom surg stuff you've been talking about but I do think about this a lot 💞

oh this is so hot >.< oomfies PLEASE keep sending me stuff i won't be able to write much in return but i promise i will read and enjoy and probably post it

[rlqfpdl]

How not to lose a brother, no glue no borax

Hermes!fem!reader x Hermes cabin

Summary: luke betrays camp and you don’t know what to do or how to feel anymore. Luckily your siblings seem to be there for you.

Contains: pure angst!!, hermes sibling dynamics, SPOILERS for last Olympian, takes place during the titans curse/battle of the labyrinth. Not really a happy ending? Character death.

A/N: hi guys this is my first ff on tumblr hope you like it. Slightly (or mostly) inspired by the ‘no glue no borax trend’ on tik tok.

Word count: 1.2K

You would think that a cabin like cabin 11 always felt alive and full of people, yet you couldn't help but feel like the loneliest girl in that there. The dull brown walls felt suffocating, but the thought of leaving them seemed even more terrifying.

 “Come on sis you’ve got to leave your bed someday,” said Connor, carrying a tray of food. He sat on the footer of the bed and looked up at the girl. Being the closest in age–just one year apart– Connor was your rock and your partner in crime. 

You slowly sat up and grabbed the small bowl of strawberries from the tray. “Maybe Hypnos is my dad,” you said sarcastically while wrapping a blanket around yourself. Maybe Connor was right. It was time to touch the grass and wash up a bit. 

“That would be a shame, I can't afford to lose another–'' he cut himself off before messing up big time. You shifted in your seat uncomfortably, eyes getting watery with the thought of him again. The old Hermes cabin counselor. 

You were there that day when the iris message arrived in camp. Luke, your older brother, confessing to poisoning Thalia's tree and betraying camp. It wasn't as if the news only affected you; every single one of your half-siblings couldn't believe it. It had explained why he didn't arrive at camp that year or why Chris wasn't there to annoy you like always. Oh wait, that meant Chris also left. You were never the same again.

you were merely 10 years old when you first arrived, being claimed by your father as soon as you stepped foot into camp. Connecting with your other siblings in an instant, especially with Luke. You looked up to him; he was the older brother you never had growing up as an only child. He taught you how to use a sword and how to utilize your abilities to their full potential. It was fun to steal the camp store with your siblings, a weird bonding experience for sure.  Being a year-rounder also meant spending more time at camp, which also meant getting to know Luke better than most of your other siblings. 

Truly, nothing prepared you for such a harsh reality check. You blame yourself for not seeing the signs after his quest; the constant waking up in the middle of the night screaming in fear. the sudden harshness towards others, slowly disconnecting from camp. Sadly, you started to blame your father for everything–how he treated Luke, how he treated you, and how he seemed to not care for the pain you felt. 

“Y/N Travis told me not to tell you but they found Chris, He's alive.” Your eyes widened with shock, you knew Chris wasn't dead, but the thought that he was no longer with Luke made you worry even more. At least if he was with the enemy, he was still with his brother. 

“Where is he?” you said, getting up, ready to travel to the depths of Tartarus just to see him again. 

“Wooh, hold your horses, he was brought back to camp but, he's not in the condition you want to see him in,” Connor said, a slight shakiness to his words as if he had seen Chris, as if he was hiding something. 

“What do you mean by that? I don't care about that I just want to see him again” You were starting to get angry. You weren't the same immature 10-year-old from before. You could handle this, or at least you wanted to believe you could. 

Connor got annoyed. He knew better than to go against his brother's wishes, but he thought this news could bring a smile to your face, a smile long forgotten. “Travis was right; I shouldn't have told you,” He said, getting up from your bed, about to leave the cabin. He couldn't afford to dwell on these things. He now had to be head counselor, thinking about the course of action the camp would take.

 But you ran, catching up to him, grabbing his arm. You felt compelled to know this information; he was your brother. “You and Travis can't keep hiding things from me. I am not a child anymore. Don't you think it hurts me every day how I lost my brothers or how I might lose more in war " Tears were threatening to spill out your eyes, your legs felt weak from not walking in such a long time and your emotions could no longer be contained.

"See Y/N, that's the thing. You're so blinded by your pain. Don't you see the rest of us grieving? Don't you see how Julia and Alice have stopped with their pranks? How me and Travis have to be in charge of this damn cabin with no guidance.” you had never seen Connor actually get angry before, He was the camp clown he played pranks on people, he made people laugh, he didn't make them cry. 

“You're not the only one hurting, Y/N, Understand that '' he finished off pulling his arm away from your grip. The tears you held on to finally started to spill, It was true you could be selfish at times, but you couldn't afford to fight with your siblings; it was the only thing left in your life. Alexa, one of your sisters was the one to bring you food that night, not seeing Connor until after the campfire, very clearly annoyed and avoiding you after your little spat. 

You knew tension was high in the cabin but you didn't stop to think it was this bad. You were so caught up in your own agenda that you didn't see how you could all fight at a time like this. You had to have each other's backs. Everybody a camp loved Luke; that was a fact, but nobody felt the true betrayal of a sibling like you guys did.

It had been a year now, and you and your siblings found yourselves on Mount Olympus embracing each other and sobbing as you saw your poor brother die. “He died a hero,'' they said but that still didn't stop the pain. It was enough to see him betray camp, witness so many demigods die in battle, see Chris go mad from his days in the labyrinth, see camp slowly dying. Now there was a dagger still inside of Luke. 

You missed the times you played poker in cabin 11 or made chocolate chip cookies (his and your favorite), sword fighting, everything. You've only met your father a few times; you couldn't help but blame him for so much. Yet here he was with you guys equally as sad, Travis swore he saw the old man shed a tear or two. It made you laugh slightly when he told you that, not that it was something to laugh at,  just the thought of a god showing emotions seemed foreign. 

It was funny how grief brought you all together, more united than before. But still, that didn't mean you could look past Luke's actions and the pain you felt. Maybe someday in the future, you would understand where he was coming from, but for now, you couldn't help but cry those feelings and thoughts away. 

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The trickster

Source: Wiki.

So my theory and predictions have always been along these lines:

But I have always thought Shapiro's trick is not just a poaching trick, as I explained in the meta above.

IMO it's also a trick rooted in professional jealousy and pettiness.

Walk with me here:

We were talking FF earlier with @only-one-brain-cell, and the trickster came up. Her angle was: "What if Shapiro was never going to talk to Carmy? What if he just said that to put Sydney’s mind at ease?"

Which makes total sense, right?

BUT

My point is:

What if it's worse than that, I mean on top of that the tricker was BLUFFING because he's a trickster!

I mean... What if he was never gonna hire her to begin with and he just wanted her to quit The Bear but there was no such partnership stake?

What if he just wanted to poach her but there was no such agreement?

He never sent her a contract for her to go over, which is a formality and common procedure in any business negotiations, especially if the offer is really juicy.

No hard copy.

Carmy drew the agreement and emailed it because his is actually a real and legit offer.

Maybe Shapiro just wanted Carmy to lose his most valuable asset.

And then ditch Syd, and hire someone else, maybe someone more experienced than a young chef who had been a CDC for only a month by then and had plenty of experience as a Soux Chef but no international experience and a failed catering business under her belt, regardless of how talented he knew she was, because he had already been to The Bear incognito, of course.

Perhaps Shapiro, strategically speaking, just wanted to make sure he was going to compete with the Sydless version of The Bear.

Stealing young talent is common in the biz but that stealing, which is what we all know as poaching, may not be always followed by a better and more solid offer, sometimes it's just about making sure the other restaurant loses its edge, not about hiring new talent, not necessarily.

Maybe Shapiro just wanted it to be Carmy vs him, EC vs EC.

Maybe he thought he could take him that way and beat it at his own game for once.

A Sydless Carmy may have looked less unbeatable in his eyes.

Why wait for her to talk to Carmy to make a formal offer? Wouldn’t it be more convincing/tempting to show up with the paperwork and the $ right up front? And only let her cash the first check in once she quits The Bear?

BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING BLUFFING AND TRYING TO USE SYD TO GET TO CARMY BY POACHING HIS EDGE, HIS NEW SECRET WEAPON, THE PROMISING YOUNG TALENT THAT HAD EVERYTHING TO PROVE, CIA TRAINING, TALENT, AND NEW AND GREAT IDEAS, SOMEONE WHO HADN'T YET BEEN FULLY JADED BY THE INDUSTRY AND COULD ONLY GET BETTER.

Forget it! It was a trick!

He said it. He literally said: “Here’s the trick”

And then offered the deal.

No paperwork though, just his words.

He’s a trickster!

I’ve been saying this since June 27, the guy is full of shit and professionally jealous of Carmy since they were staging together before he was sent to Copenhagen.

Unlike Luca who saw Carmy as an inspiration knowing he could never beat him, Shapiro saw him as competition and hated him because he couldn't beat him, Carmy went on to become the most excellent CDC... you know the drill...

Now, Carmy, Carmy never even saw Shapiro at all.

🤪🤪🤪

Too busy being the most excellent CDC and putting his ❤️ on a plate for Syd to even think about Shapiro at all.

Which is what kills Shapiro and that's why he wants to take him down.

Because Carmy never even saw him as real competition so that'll show him!

Carmy saw Luca as competition.

Not shapiro

And he smoked Luca.

But Luca doesn’t resent him for that.

Shapiro, on the other hand, is petty.

And Shapiro would have never achieved what he did so far if it wouldn’t have been for Chef Terry. She was the soul of ever. Not him, and he knows it, that's why he wants to start clean and doesn't wanna inherit anything from her.

He wants to open his own place like this because he has A LOT TO PROVE TO HIMSELF.

Unlike Carmy, who made it anywhere in his own merit, even under his iron fist:

That's yet another difference between Shapiro and Carmy and the trickster is aware of this and it kills him.

But my point is not that Carmy is better than the Trickster but that the reason why the Trickster wants to poach Syd OR MAKE HER THINK SO TO GET HER AWAY FROM CARMY AND BREAK THE WINNING UNBEATABLE TEAM, is exactly that, Shapiro is Shapiring and thus he's not to be trusted, that offer may not even exist, it's only a decoy for Syd to bite and leave Carmy high and dry so it's easier for him to take him down.

He must have seen them working together when he went to SPY with a bunch of friends and sent the reviewers in to try to fuck Carmy and picked up on this:

Because he's a trickster but not stupid.

He doesn't want Syd and he certainly doesn't want to give her "whatever she wants". GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!

He wants to ruin Carmy.

I said it before and I'll say it again:

FUCK SHAPIRO!

Bonus track: Sorry, you were saying?

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[hand-picked-star]

The 13th Annniversary Arshi Fiesta

Moodboard : Historical AU

Whispers of the Heart | Chapter 05

I am not very good at writing ffs. I even read ffs very selectively. But it was an attempt of me to participate in the 13th-anniversary arshi fiesta. I might be wrong about certain aspects of that age and era, but it's a fantasy, so why not?

I don't own Arnav and Khushi and the story is purely fictional and has no relation to any living or dead. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Chapter 5

(continuation of previous chapter)

'' Arnav"

She pushed herself off the bed but stumbled to reach Arnav. He wrapped his arm around her waist before she could fall. Her hands splayed palm out on his chest. She stared at him like he hung the sun and the moon and his breath caught. The atmosphere between them undulated, changing into something heavier, something alive.

"Ummm...I want to ask you something," she tripped over her words, "Why is it that every time someone says your name" feeling her pulse quickening "or you come close to me" she whispered like it was a secret "My heart starts to beat harder? ", taking his hand she placed it over her heart "I tried to understand it, but couldn't." a silence came over between them, "bataiye na!!"

Arnav blinked, her words not quite making sense. He couldn't think and that should have disturbed him, especially because he held her so close. It had not escaped him how pretty she looked. She was always pretty, but today was special. Her hair hung loose but wavy, and the dress she'd chosen, a pure white salwar-kameez with red churni dupatta, hugged her curves in all the right places. He had noticed her curves earlier. But it's difficult to ignore at this moment, not with her body up against his. And that red bindi on her forehead, it would be the death of him someday.

His pulse felt thready. And he wanted to touch her. The simple impulse to touch the tips of his fingers to her cheek was almost more than he could bear. He raised one of his hands to cup her cheek and tilted her head toward him. There was a good reason why he shouldn't touch her, but he couldn't remember what it was. Her eyes searched his, her trembling lips slightly parted. He heard the words as clearly as if she'd spoken.

Kiss me.

The heat of her breath on his lips made him dizzy with need and he gave in. At first, Khushi couldn't comprehend what was happening. One second she was asking him a question, the next second, she was in his arms, and before she could quite recover from that, he was kissing her.

Or had she kissed him? Her brain was muddled. She was thinking about him the whole day-how handsome he looked in the white kurta. She was shamelessly looking at his lips the other day when he was eating Kheer. Had she acted on those impulses? Shy and confused Khushi ducked her head, breaking their kiss.

But almost as soon as their kiss was broken, he put two fingers under her chin, tilting her head up and claiming her lips again. His free hand moved from her waist to her back, pressing her flush against him. She whimpered and forgot everything else, anything else existed. If she'd lost her mind, so be it. Nothing ever felt as good as whatever was happening at that moment.

One of her hands crept up to cup the back of his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair, while the other hand went around his back, clutching his kurta in a death grip. She tentatively tried to return his kisses. Her heart was racing. She felt weightless. His lips were hard on her while he was holding her so gently. Khushi couldn't rightly tell, when he'd begun to walk her backwards, she only knew she found herself pressed against the wall. And then, as abruptly as it all began, it was over.

Arnav groaned from the back of his throat as he pushed away from her. He stumbled back. His hair was rumpled from her fingers, his lips still moist and parted. The five seconds they stared at each other were the longest of Khushi's entire life.

And then, he left her there, pressed against the wall, flushed-face, lips swollen from his kiss, without a word.

(end of flashback)

Arnav was sitting on the garden bench, threading his hands through his hair and tugging hard. The guilt he felt was a weight on his shoulders, pinning him down as effectively as any physical thing.

It wasn't just that he had no right to do what he'd done. What made it all the worse and what could be worse than taking advantage of someone under the influence, was that to this day, two years later, he still daydreamed about that kiss. He could still remember how very sweet it was, the emotion of that kiss, the tenderness of it and the taste of her lips, and the way her body fit the lines of his. And how powerful was the need that rushed through him then. Her warmth, her scent, everything about that moment felt vivid and real as if it was happening all over again. He had to close his eyes tightly until the feeling passed.

It was not like it was the first time that Arnav had kissed a girl. The first time he kissed a girl in the Valleys of Darjeeling was a girl from Darjeeling High School at 18. it was supposed to be fun, but as soon as he kissed that girl, he discovered something, like she gave him a disease, he heard a voice inside his head that sounded very much like his Nani's. The look he gave her afterwards, she must had thought he was insane.

'you are a womanizer, Arnav'. the voice thundered. 'just like your father.'

After that every time he thought about kissing a girl, his Nani would start talking. It was really difficult to do anything with your Nani in your head. Then one day, he with some of his friends out of curiosity went to a pub to taste some liquor. He should have known better, he ended up spending the night with someone he didn't even remember.

'See, I told you so' the voice taunted him continuously the day after.

After that, he tried his level best not to hear his nani ever again in his head. There was one thing that Arnav didn't want to be and that was 'just like his father.'

But why the voice was so quiet when he kissed HER? It felt the most natural thing to do, like he was born to do that, like he was destined to be fitted into her arms. After he fled from her room, he sat on the garden bench for hours.

There Arnav had realized, he had irreversibly fallen in love with her. And she had finally quieted the voice in his head.

But instantly another voice appeared that sounded more like his since that day and they had a serious conversation with each other on the evening of Holi two years ago, sitting on that particular bench.

'what have you done, Arnav? you've proved your nani right. tumne jis thali main khaya usmehi ched kiya. What will Mahindar chacchu and roma chachi will say? How could you do that to their daughter? How could you tarnish her reputation like that? Is this how you repay them for all the love and care, they've bestowed upon you, when nobody was there for you? And Aman, what will you say to him? '

Arnav clutched his head with both hands, resting his elbows on his knees. he felt like screaming. He argued with himself for a long time. He succeeded in almost quietening the voice, when it murmured, very faintly.

'You can marry her'

'And what can I give her?.' Now it was Arnav's turn to contradict 'I have nothing, no house, no money, no reputation, no family and what made you think that Chachu and Chachi would want to marry off their beloved daughter to a nobody like me'. A pressure bloomed in his chest. With every breath he took, it increased. 'And what made you think that she would want to marry me?'

'She loves you, isn't it obvious? '

His vision blurred 'Have you forgotten that she was drunk? and I took advantage of her drunken state.' The silence that followed was suffocating, and his mind raced back to that moment, the memory haunting him. He remembered the way she had returned the kiss, her eyes fluttering shut just before their lips met. He remembered the vulnerability in her gaze, the way she had leaned into him as if seeking something more. 'She may have developed a silly little crush.' He whispered to himself, the words barely convincing even in his mind. An invisible rope tightened around his throat, 'it's temporary.' he told himself, desperately wanting to believe it, 'it will go away with time.'

'Bullshit' the voice whispered.

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@arshifiesta @featheredclover @phuljari @jalebi-weds-bluetooth @chutkiandchotte

[doubleedgemode]

Some character thoughts

I wanted to write down some ramblings about Dizzy's Strive arcade route plus other character things aside and ended up with like, eight paragraphs so here you go I guess!

Under the cut because it's long and so you don't get spoiled if you haven't watched yet. As always feel free to comment and add stuff like agreeing or disagreeing. :)

Omg so that video I watched before wasn't even the extreme route.. So after watching, yeah, tdlr: Dizzy is a queen in all senses and a.b.a is a miserable ugly thing I want to comfort.

Sorry for focusing on my main even if she's not as relevant as Dizzy but you know how it tends to be in my blog.

Longer text: I still stand I'm not a Dizzy expert by any chance of the imagination (as I have said before, outside of my homunculus pond, I feel like my knowledge about this series characters' is not that big. Plus the queen especially, I feel she has a lot of lore to tackle haha) but Strive sold me enough on her. I'm proud of her! and her philosophy, is refreshingly well-written:

it both comes out as like she's this mature, wise, self-realized person who speaks from a higher plane so to speak but also like a normal person (echoing Goldlewis' statement of forgetting he was talking to a queen for a bit) who has recieved a lot of bad hands but somehow managed to heal and maybe their philosophy is too optimistic, maybe it's correct, but she sure will try to make it because of her drive. At least, I want her to make it.

She also strives (hah) for peace and embodies being a sovereign ruler, yet won't let that change her character and will to fight.

This must sound like an oxymoron after all I said about her and change but, just like how she sounding regal yet casual works, this somehow works too! She isn't rejecting changes in life. She knows they'll happen. She embraces them whatever they might be. But that doesn't mean that she has to be a pushover (for lack of a better term). Her character, that is the ONE thing she can change and she chooses to do better and make it so if changes have to occur to people and herself that they're good ones. I gotta bow down to her.

It makes sense to me from a design (?) storytelling (??) perspective that now Necro and Undine are more minimalistic. They're still important to Dizzy's character but she keeps them more in control so to speak, since she's now more in control of her situations. But they're still important, and their relationship towards her seem warmer, too... Like making peace with oneself, in a way. Also, them having a way more unified colour-scheme might not only be so the design is streamlined, but as both being equally important to Dizzy perhaps? (but keeping their attitudes of course)

Now for a less healthy attitude towards changes we have...

A.B.A... That rejection of change cuts deep when you think about, how it can be interpreted that most or at least some of the most impactful of her life experiences feature this encompassing opposition to change, be it whether because outside factors didn't permit it (she couldn't go outside and just stood a decade inside the metaphorical Frasco flask ffs, she wanted a body for Paracelsus but they couldn't get it..) or because she didn't want it (she knew what she was doing to Paracelsus was wrong, and yet kept on knowingly doing that).

Now, I say most or some, but not all, because she has equally important moments of change, (meeting Paracelsus, going outside, even her appearance change after finally deciding to involve herself on human stuff), but I believe her upbringing, solitude and mulling attitude influence this looming presence of stagnancy in the back of her mind, whether she wants it or not. But hope also coexists in her heart so, she might want to believe in Dizzy's words. Just a little bit.

Also I like the headcanon I've seen floating around of Dizzy's route happening before A.B.A's own route (explaining why Paracelsus is yellow), so maybe these encounters and other offscreen things were important pieces to help A.B.A's character do a click. Really fitting that both Dizzy and Testament can have this positive influence about changes to people. Of course, it is the person themselves, in this case A.B.A, the one that has to realize, but it doesn't hurt that the overtly optimistic winged girl you kind of captured ends up beating you up and giving you life lessons lmao. I wonder if they hang out together now, at least sometimes that is... Edit: somehow I missed one of the scenes where they do see eye to eye in husband-liking and A.B.A begrudgingly decides to accept having some tea time together so... Win at least?

Plus, while Paracelsus looking like if he were being curious at Dizzy's proposal is probably because, well, the existing model has both him and A.B.A going :0 at people... Maybe you could see him as him getting moved by Dizzy's statements, too...

[ziminy]

Nightshift pt. 1

Having them as roommates was a problem

Tags: mdni, college au, f!reader , explicit language, a little bit of misunderstandings here and there for the plot, everyone is pretty dumb, inexperienced!reader, size difference, they toy with you the way they want, fingering, thigh fucking, both Geto and Gojo are playboys (cuz I want so) , idk I'll add it later if I missed something

Author's note: bro, I started writing this thinking it would be a small ff. I was giggling and kicking my feet and then I woke up 10k words in and I was like, nahh, gotta make this into a series. So enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it😘

Update: I re wrote this a little, just made some small changes here and there.

6k words(I thought there were more)

Masterlist part 2

Gojo Satoru had all kind of connections. He basically knew everyone in the campus at this point, the campus you shared and many others. And who could blame him? People liked him. It wouldn't be surprising if someone goes at him for anything. That's how he wakes up in someone else business most of the time, it all starts with a small favor, and then he finds out its not that small as he thought it would be. And yet he still does it again and again. He's an idiot, isn't he?

Who could blame him. No one was in their right minds anymore these days. But an idiot will always remain an idiot. And so, he woke up helping someone again. A friend you happen to have in common came to him, asking if he knows any place available to stay at. And the idiot went around asking about it, only to find up things about you. Like what kind of person you are, how people viewed you, how you got in the situation of moving out. You were a quiet person, or that's what some people said. Other said how it was so fun to have you around. You were non problematic, or hat's how he liked to see it. You were a peaceful person who just happened to be in an unfortunate situation.

He would usually say no, but he met you in person. You looked tired, and small compared to him, you looked like you bearly got any sleep these days. He lives in a big house, doesn't he? It's not like he needs new people in there, the quietness was enough for him. He also clearly don't need any money from you especially. If you can't afford sleep, would you be able to afford a place to stay in?

And somehow you woke up moving into his house. After a lot of talking about it with him, just making sure you heard what you heard right you finally made a decision. Sure, he doesn't seems bad, so why not accepting.

Everything was so peaceful at first. He said he won't be there most of the times. Him and the unexpected housemate you found there were out almost all day. And when they were back everyone seems to be so careful around each other. No one makes fast moves and it seems that you adapted to that life there rather quick. Everything was like a dream, or that what it seemed like. Until you heard a rather nasty rumor about your so called housemates. Animals in heat, that's how you can call them without saying a bad word.

You can't see it. You just can't see it. Your roommates were two regular guys. Sure, one was ridiculously rich, but he was fine. Maybe a little childish. And the other guy was just so down on earth. That guy was softer than your damn pillow. The way he talks was definitely telling you that the rumors are fake. Defamation. This got to be defamation. I mean, no matter how much you think about it you can't see these guys as some fuckers who are.. Well.. Doing what the name says. Fucks.

But you couldn't help but listen to those false allegations. The nights they weren't home they were supposed to be partying somewhere until they leave with a girl. You never saw anyone bringing anything home. So where were they? Do they like spending times in hotels instead of their own house? And that's when you find out they almost never brings girls home because they go to ladies houses.

Everything you heard was true. It's an unwritten rule that they don't like to see strangers on their beds. So that means they spend the night there? No, they always come back no matter what. Fooling in someone else bed was alright, but staying the night was a no no. All those rumors made you think. What was so special about them? And so, you started to observe them whenever you could. It was like an small experiment in your head, it meant literally nothing more. It made you think about the situation. Were they really not as you see it?

Without even realizing you got out the room at the same time they were at home. When they were in the kitchen, you happen to be there, nothing happened that just a few words exchanged , small talk. However, it was bothering them.

They really don't understand why you're looking like that at them. No, they're actually full aware of the look in your eyes. It's was something they saw so many times, yet it was more. It wasn't just horniness, it wasn't that lust they're so familiar with. It was curiosity. You don't even have to say a word because it was clearly written on your face. Yet they don't want to admit that it was just something innocent. Both of them agreed mentally that you want them. It wasn't sure which one but it was clearly you wanted something from one of them. They were the horny ones. Your eyes studying them so openly, no thoughts behind it, no shame. They were indeed animals in heat, because they just couldn't keep it to themselves. And just like always, they were willing to give you whatever you want. That if you finally say something, do a move yourself. Not just looking and that's it.

"Y/N." you moved your eyes on who ever was calling your name, none other than your landlord. "Did something happened?" to him it seemed like you had something to say but you were to shy to say it. He was more than happy to give you a little push, help you to finally say something.

"Mno..?" he gulped, you looked right into his eyes. The looks you kept giving earlier wasn't helping either. He only heard stuff about how you were shy and you didn't go much out. Your friends don't even remember the last time you went on a date, that if you ever went on a date. "Ohh." you're reaction made both of them move their eyes straight on you. You finally was going to say it? "I apologize." you laughed. "I heard something and I wanted to see it myself." you had a sweet smile on you face, it really didn't look like you were undressing them in your mind. You were curious. And if you have the answers right in front of you, wouldn't you want to know what is actually happening?

"Rumors?" the dark haired guy sat down at the table you were sitting with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Mhhmm." you nodded.

"Are you that interested in what other people say?" you shook your head.

"Not at all." you got up from your chair. "Sorry for making you concerned." and so, you went to your room. You can't figure out what's in their head, and they can't figure what's in yours. There were a lot of rumors about them, most of them being true, but you could never know. You haven't heard anything about your name yet, so maybe people don't even know you live there to begin with. Which is good. The last thing you want is someone disturbing your peace.

What you should have put in calculation was the two demons outside your door. Gojo only let you stay because he was interested in you, the other guy just started to feel a little curious. When they tried to show that they know you're watching, you did nothing more than continue to watch them further. You would look them right in the eyes like you did nothing shameless. And the answer you gave them was so vague that they're now asking for more. It's not like they disliked you there next to them, just looking at them and doing nothing more. It's that it made their imagination go wild.

You bearly went out if it wasn't for school. And up until not so long ago you wouldn't even get out the room when they were home. It was so quiet in there that they forgot about you. That until you got in that kitchen, you're steps were so carefully placed on the floor, the way you would walk around the table and sit at a spot they would have never guessed it was yours in the first place. It became like a routine to see you there in the morning, since that was the time of the day where they would be at home. Oh, but now you stopped. When they're awake you're sleeping safe and sound. Maybe they should have let you do your thing. Of course they would have answered whatever question you might had, but what they don't know is the thoughts you were thinking of. The way you would just smile like you didn't thought about what the hell they were doing when they were out.

You were just curious. And you're happy they finally said something, so that way you could stop looking for whatever you were looking. They're not happy tho. It's been a week since they didn't seen you even breathing around them. Everyone was tired. That's why they started coming home earlier. Which turned into an unfortunate event.

Stressed, everyone was stressed. And you became even stressed when you woke up in the middle of the night hearing noises. Was someone in pain? Did someone needed help? Then you woke up and realizing what is actually happening. The sounds you heard weren't from pain, they were moans, and bed moving. They weren't your moans, they didn't sounded like male moans. It was definitely a woman. You sighed as you went back to sleep, ready to complain about it tomorrow to your housemates.

You were so eager to complain about what happened. The moment you got in the kitchen you sat down next to the dark haired guy. "Suguru, have you heard that last night?" you sighed, yet you were thrilled to continue complaining. "Honestly, can't the neighbors chill?" you wanted to hear him agreeing with you, yet he didn't.

"It wasn't the neighbors." huh? Now you were confused.

"What do you mean?" you both looked at the person who just entered the kitchen. You looked at the guy next to you with big eyes when you realized what actually happened, you stood there bamboozled. He only nodded, like he could read you mind. He knew exactly what you were thinking of. "No way.." a hand was placed over your mouth to show how shocked you were. "I'm sorry! I didn't know!" you exclaimed as you ran from there to your room. So those rumors were true? But you could have never guessed. I mean, weren't they in some kind of mafia or something? Why else would they be out all the times if they weren't working? But didn't people said they don't get girls home? Then was that his girlfriend? What about all those shameful things you thought of? You have to apologize to his girl.

The next morning you got out your room and shyly went into the kitchen. Moving carefully and biting your lower lip, you sat down next to your landlord at the big table that was placed in the kitchen. You looked at him, then at your hands while you kept playing with your fingers. The other guy looked amused. He could only guess why you're acting like that, but he probably knows exactly what you wanted to say. The white haired guy keep moving his eyes from his phone to you. Was this a deja vu? Or perhaps not. This feels like it happened before yet so different at the same time. You looked only at him, you sat next to him, and the other guy seems to find it funny. Clearly, something happened that he's not aware of. He's a little angry now. How can he be left out? Especially when you don't even do much besides coming into the kitchen for a few minutes then run away from there. "Something happened?" this was definitely a deja vu. The same thing, same words, yet it felt so different.

"I'm sorry.." so something did happened? What could be so bad that you got to act like this? You weren't in this situation when you got caught for staring at them shamefully.

"Huh?"

"I know it wasn't my business.. I should have probably shut up.. But please listen to me first." the guy that was sitting not so far from you was laughing his ass off. This was pure gold, comedy in its purest form. He couldn't stop you even if he wanted to. After all, you had to find things out yourself, and he didn't plan to give you any information. "I really didn't know. I wouldn't had said anything if I knew she was your girlfriend." now that was a twist that made even the hyena stop laughing. Now everyone was interested in what happened.

"What do you mean by my girlfriend?" your landlord was mad that someone is out there pretending to be his girlfriend. He might change girlfriends frequently, but at the moment he was single. So who would dare to present themselves as his girl?

"I heard that you don't get girls home unless it's someone important." never in their life have they bought someone home since you moved in there.

"I didn't bring anyone in here?" everyone was confused. No one didn't know what to say.

"The other day you came back with someone, right? I just wanted to apologize because I didn't know it was you. I thought it was the neighbors." the dark haired guy started to laugh again, this time not even trying to hide it. You got up from you seat and went to the door as fast as you could. "Anyway, I'm sorry. I just want it to say it in case of anything." and so, you disappeared from their eyes once again. Whatever you heard about them it was clearly bullshit in their eyes. You need to stop listening to whatever people had to say, they could answer to whatever question you had. Yet you never ask for anything.

A game of cats and mouse started. It was clearly who were the evil minds that came with the plan and who was the clueless victim. One day when you were at school, they happen to be there to switch everything in the house. Whatever you thought you knew was, now was in a complete another place. It was pitiful to watch them work so eagerly on this. It was hard to watch them being idiots, yet not even a second they stopped to think about it. All they had to do now was for you to come back.

It took you two days to finally see that something is wrong. In these two days they almost died of impatience because of how slow you were. Yet look at you, refusing to give up. You searched everywhere in the kitchen cabinets for whatever you were looking for, only to see with the corner of your eye that it was placed somewhere were you clearly couldn't reach at. You took a chair and tried to get it yourself. You don't need help from those fuckers after all. Why would you need it when they made your life so complicated.

"Need help?" the knight in shining armor was too late unfortunately, yet that didn't stopped Gojo from doing something.

"Not at all." he came next to you, took whatever was in your hands and put it back up, just to take it and handle it to you.

"Here you go." you sighed. But your misfortune continue to grow when the other idiot came in.

"You're stuck there? Is it too high for you?" the dark haired guy tone was like it was making fun of you. He picked you up and put you down. "There there, no need to thank me." all you did was to sigh.

"I don't need this anymore. Can you put it back?" you handed whatever you had in your hands back to them.

"You got the wrong thing? This happens if you try to reach high places alone." the moment they turned their heads away from you was the way you disappeared from there. Oh, but it was hell the next few days. Nothing was in their right places and it turned you crazy. You gave up. If that's what they wanted to hear then they win. Just like always, you finally showed up in that kitchen. You sat at another chair, choosing a different one from your usual one. Head and hands on the table as you waited for them to appear there. You were about to call it defeat when you fell asleep. It was morning after all, at this time you would usually sleep. Heck, even the bed under you was sleeping. If you were pulling out the white flag, now they were the ones doing it. Seeing you there once again made them realize their mistake.

They apologized ,not to you physically but mentally. You did nothing more than just being curious. Who wouldn't be? Some rich guy let you stay in his house when you needed a place to stay. He didn't ask for anything, the rent was even lowered to half the price it was to the previous place you lived at. And even after all those rumors you heard, you didn't had to see any of their dates inside the house. It was nice living there, they tried to make an effort somehow to not disturb you. And so you did to them. But maybe they didn't thought about it in the end. Sure, it was childish, but wouldn't you do the same if you were in their shoes? Just like you, they have questions. They also want answers. Their methods might be a little out of pocket, but try to think the way they do. They're too proud, you'll never see them asking for anything. They'll make you ask for it and then act nonchalant about it. Can't you see they're just some big fucks? They're fuckers and they're proud. They're literally dickheads.

The strategy changed. They'll get you out that room in other ways. That's when you started to wake up with all kind of food and sweets. They'll get home and the first thing to do is to go to your room to announce what they got. It made you instantly get out the bed and follow them. They played dirty all the time. They did it in such a way that when you hear the front door you instantly get out the bed and sprint to who ever came back. Big smile on your face and knowing absolutely nothing about whatever scheme they might plan next.

"I didn't got anything today." Suguru's words made you lose your smile instantly. "Satoru might come with something tho." and that made your smile to come back.

"Can I stay with you until he comes back?" his smile seems so innocent. It made him look innocent. That old fox isn't playing according to the books. No, in fact he'll get off the main path just to get to what he wants faster. He knew exactly that your so called landlord wouldn't come back home tonight. Yet he's not going to say shit.

"Of course." and so, you ended up with him on the big couch that was in the living room, watching some movie that was playing on some random channel on tv. It would be such a big lie if he says whatever he was after was just friendship. Is he trying hard? Maybe. But he wants to look like you're the one worked up about it. He wants to look like he just happened to be there and that's it. And oh man he got what he want. By the end of that movie you two ended up in your room. His hands moved so fast to get your clothes off the moment that door was closed. The big windows gave so much light that he could see very clearly where your bed was at.

"Suguru.." you whined his name so sweet and softly. It took all the control he haves to not jump on you in that exact moment, not like he wasn't all over you. If he knew that he could have got to this point sooner from a movie and some takeaways he would have got through this a long time ago. You sat at the edge of the bed, looking at him taking his clothes off and then he jumped back on you.

"Have you done this before?" he was placed in between your legs ,one of his hands placed on your thigh as the other was on the bed right next to you keeping him from not putting all his weight on you. You nodded your head slowly.

"But it's been a while so be gentle with me." animal in heat describes him the best. It looked like a big bad wolf was on top of its prey. If you still can walk tomorrow then that means he did a bad job. But your sweet words made him realize that's too soon. How can he get in your bed again if he scares you now?

"Alright." the hand he had on your thigh moved in between your legs. You were so wet after that little make out session you had on the couch. It should be a crime to leave you alone when you clearly need his help. He's only playing the bigger person so he won't fuck everything right now, so let him believe in his delusions.

Two of his fingers were inside you, moving them in and out of you for a few moments just to see how far he can go. And then he started to curl them, making you instantly squirm. Did the other guy you fucked not do a good job? Maybe that's why you had almost non existent experience in this. Maybe you were left disappointed. Well, aren't you lucky? He likes to hear only good reviews about himself. Oh, but he hopes you heard about his services. If you're so interested in what other people says then you should definitely listen to the people that ended in the same bed as him. "I know you like it, but stop moving so much." he stopped his hand movement for a moment to let you breathe. He's lying. He likes the way you're squirming and trembling at everything he does.

"You're so mean." you whined. If that was mean then he doesn't know how to call whatever he's usually doing. He likes it rough. He likes to see tears in the eyes of who ever he's fucking. He likes to relieve his stress in questionable ways.

"Am I?" he had this diabolical smirk on his face. Evil was too little to say. He looked like he let his demons out of leash. His face got closer to yours, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he started to move his hand again. He'd go as deep as he can, discovering all kind of places, touching you here and there just to see you melt. "Come on, look at me, don't close your eyes." he'll rub your clit for time to time, just to remind you about it. It was mostly to see your expressions, and to remind you how mean he can be. If you said he is then he is, no? This was him just being the fucker he is. Toying with you just to show you how he can make you feel. And to remind you that if he gives, then he also can take away all these new overwhelming feelings. Beg for him. That's what he wants to hear from you after all. Cries and begs.

And you were falling all for it. The way you would cry his name was like good news to his ears, a melody that's he's so happy to hear. His fingers are always making sure to touch all the good places. But at some point it was too much, you felt like you were going over the edge, your vision completely disappearing when you came all over his hand. And he still kept toying with you. "Please-" you gasped. "No more.." you were so dumb for him that he couldn't help but want to over stimulate you, play with you until you're begging for more.

"You can take it, can't you?" it was an obvious no from you. It was the first time you felt this overwhelming, you clearly needed a break to calm down.

"Kiss me." you wanted to feel more than just his evil scheme. A kiss would go so good after that torture. But he stopped the moment you said those words. He just wanted to show you whos in charge of this, because he clearly didn't liked how comfortable you got with him. You didn't seemed to look mad at him for not fulfill your request, no, in fact you only sighed relived. Finally you were free from his cursed hands. He pressed your legs together and put them on his shoulder. You weren't ready for the big thing. You bearly can take his thick fingers, just looking at his cock made you almost pass out. "I don't think I'm ready for that.." you gulped, you only hoped to hear something about how you could do it if you wanted to or any words of encouragement.

"I know you can't." he said as his hand traveled to your pussy, collecting some of your juices to rub it on his cock along with his precum. "The moment I'll get inside that pussy of yours I'll make sure you won't be able to walk for days." he said as he slips his cock in between your thighs. He expected to get more than this in return, because in his head he deserves more than he gives, at least in that situation. But he's not that horny yet to forget about his morals. So this is enough for the moment, because he knows that in the future you'll be able to give him so much more than now.

He hated those eyes of yours. The way you would look so innocent, curious. Ughh. It just made him want to ruin you. Just look at the way you look at him right now. Big eyes, just as curious as always, yet he can see it more playful. It made him think that you're not taking him seriously. "Does it feel good?" he kept moving his hips back and forth, rubbing his cock on your skin. It felt so soft and warm. Your whole body was warm no matter where he puts his hands on you. He couldn't give you an answer, not because he couldn't, it was more because he didn't want to. Why don't you figure it out yourself? All he can do was to grunt, hopping you'll get the message.

His grip on your thighs was so tight that it might leave a bruise. He felt like your going to run away the moment you get a chance to. So all he can do was to grab you as close as he can. Keeping your legs in place as he moves his hips.

What was first a slow pace now turned into fast and desperate thrusts. He couldn't keep his head straight, he couldn't think anymore the moment he felt like hes getting closer and closer to that sweet release he kept chasing after. He wanted to hear something from you, it was too quiet. Yet he can't ask for it, because his ego is just not letting him.

He'll eat you up. The moment he would get inside that pussy of yours he'll make sure the whole neighborhood would hear his name. "I'd fuck that mouth of yours right now if I could." he let his thoughts out. He couldn't think of a single peaceful or good word to say to you. And you didn't said anything about it and took whatever he had to say. You watched him the whole time. You can clearly see that something is wrong with him. His face, his actions are showing so. "Fuuuck." he was so so so close. He had so many things to say yet he didn't said shit because it just didn't felt like it was the right time. You weren't in the same situation as him, you weren't going through the same rollercoaster of emotions. He really wanted to flip you over, fuck you from behind as he'd just call you a slut, or any names to degradate you. You could take it, can't you? You could take this load right here right now and thanks him for it at the end, won't you? Lost in his thoughts, he finally came all over your belly. Still moving his hips just to get everything all out.

What a night, huh. He felt into the bed right next to you, tired, and just wanting to get some sleep. Wasn't it surprising tho? He fucked differently for once and now he feels like he ran a marathon. And you had the audacity to look at him with those big eyes again. Looking so sweetly and ready to take him for real this time. "You'll sleep here tonight?"

"Who knows." he would do like always, he knew the answer yet he couldn't say that he was ready to leave in this instance your room to go back to his. He waited for you to fall asleep before he finally retreated to his bedroom.

He could only imagine how you'll react tomorrow when you can't see him. He thought you'll stay in your room just like always. But no, the next day you were in that kitchen, sitting next to him so shyly. It was like you were back to the beginning. You didn't want anything more from him than just ask if everything is alright between you too. Just to make sure everything stays the way it was before. But you can't really say anything since your landlord is also there. And this makes you feel so guilty.

"Ehh. You really done it, didn't you." the white haired guy said something. That scared you, your heart almost left your body. Does he knows? Were you in trouble? "Don't worry, Y/N. Whatever happened he probably doesn't even remembers about it." the dark haired guy only smiled like he didn't know why you were acting like that. Since his friend was so clueless maybe he could tease you about it a little.

"Hmm? What have I done?" you could see your soul leaving your body. All you wanted to do is to make sure that you're relationship stays the same. But this was too much. You were on the verge of crying.

"L- let's talk about it later!" you ran from there like always. How long would it last until you'll say something? He won't say a word until you do the first step. Why? Because he liked to see you cry. He didn't thought that he would bully you, but you clearly deserve it for playing with his head.

Imagine his surprise to see you the next day in the kitchen again. If he would be the first to come out his room, now he would make sure to come as late as possible. You could go to his room and say whatever you had to say, yet you didn't. You would go in that damn kitchen all the time to interact with them. Was that small talk enough for you? Didn't you wanted more? Because if you would come to his room he promise to reward you for your courage and give you a little bit of himself. You could even choose what you wanted from him. He would be glad to hear what you had to say. That if you stop going into that kitchen and just be straight forward. In his eyes you were a coward. Yet he loved toying you the way he wants.

You sat next to him again. This time more determined than before. You took out your phone and typed a simple question in your notepad.

'Can I ask you something?' you showed him your phone screen.

He acted like he didn't see it.

'I really want to ask you something.'

Still he acted like he didn't see anything.

This was pure madness. This was getting on your nerves. You stepped on his foot to get his attention. He gasped as he looked in shock at you. The nerves. The audacity. You point to your phone again yet he keeps acting like he doesn't see anything. He even turned his face away.

"Just talk already." Gojo only rolled his eyes. "What happened anyway?"

Geto looked at you. He didn't planned on saying anything unless you said it. He just wanted to fuck with your head after all. Nothing more besides getting on your nevers. You wanted to say it so bad. The words wouldn't come out your mouth when so many eyes were on you. It didn't matter if it were only them. You can't say it. So you did the only thing you had left. Retreat. At least for the moment. You got out of there and stormed in your room. Next time it's either a win or nothing at all. You swear to get an end to this and then you can live peacefully and go on with your life.

The next day you waited in the hallway for that stubborn man to come out his room. It was a long wait, yet you stayed by his door until he finally came out. "Are we good. Yes or no?" you went straight to the point. All these days of playing around made you sick of this.

"Why don't you come in so we could talk about it?" he wanted you in his room, he will get you there.

"I just want to know that nothing changed."

"What do you mean by that?" this damn wolf.

"Like. We're the same as before, right? I just want to make sure nothing changed between us. " he had that dumb smile on his face and he kept acting like he doesn't know shit.

"Come in and lets talk." this was making you so mad. He didn't wanted to talk when you tried before but now hes willing to talk about it? He grabbed your hand and dragged you in his room, pushing you against the door as soon as he closed it. Hands in your shirt going up as his lips touched yours. Here was your reward for taking such a big step.

"You said talk." you gasped for air.

"This is also a form of talking." his cold hands made you squirm. The way he's moving his hands up and down against your skin. He wanted to go all the way up to your breasts until you heard a someone knocking on the door.

"It's me. Just wanted to make sure you two are alright." this was clearly a way to get out of there before this situation gets worse.

"Ah yes. We're fine." a hand grabbed your arm, stopping you from going further away. That damn fox just can't let you go yet.

"Can I know what happened?" you tried to not panic, but you just couldn't. Your mind was still on whatever happened earlier.

"We watched a movie and we argued about it." it was far from the truth. But you'll just go with what Geto said. You can't think of a better excuse.

"Huh?" your landlord raised and eyebrow.

"It was a good movie. Right, Y/N?" the way this man haves to drag you through mud and hell before you could have a break.

You gulped. "Indeed." you can't even find your words.

"So we can go like how it was before then." this evil man said it like you weren't the one that kept trying to make sure everything is alright.

"I should put a parental lock on that tv." your landlord only sighed and turned around going back to the kitchen. You ran from there in your room. Only wanting a break from this madness.

[biggerbetterbat]

WITH YOU [40] BLESS ME FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED...

Daryl Dixon x OC!Charlie Reed

Summary: Charlie reflects on her life as she feels worse with every day. She decides to confess her sins to Hershel so she could get rid of the guilt.

Warnings: death, killing Walkers

Song: lovely billie eilish

Words: 1,609

A/N: We’re half way through season 4! Thank you so much for the love and interest you give to this ff, and I thank you for every comment.

Enjoy!!

"You okay to take over?" Hershel asked Sasha to push and help the guy on the bed breathe. Sasha looked horrible, and Charlie supposed she looked just as bad. The virus was slowly killing them, that was the truth. Even though, Hershel didn't want to accept that, Charlie knew that. It could be her last days. "Every five to six seconds, squeeze. You start feeling lightheaded, grab somebody else to take over," he said and then turned to Charlie. "You want to help me go on my rounds?"

"Sure," she nodded and stood up. "How long will that keep him alive?"

"Just as long as we're willing to do it. As long as it takes."

The worst part about being sick wasn't the cough or weakness but being surrounded by death. People that were in that cell block were basically Walkers already and it was very depressing. There were children in there, too. Lizzie was one of the girls names. She was separated from her sister, her father died recently, and Reed knew that Carol was the one taking care of her. The girl was asking her when Carol will be back from the run, but she couldn't tell her as she was locked here before Rick and her came back.

Charlie just hoped that she would be dead fast enough so she wouldn't see the innocent creatures deaths.

She promised Hershel not to think about it, but every day spent in the separation was driving her to a conclusion that death was the only way to be free. Her dreams were pushing her over the edge, so she didn't have a relief even at night. The virus was weakening her, she was tired with every that already happened and thoughts about what would happen in the future wasn't filling her with optimism.

What didn't help was a dead body that they stood over.

"You haven't had to do this yet, have you?" Charlie asked, squeezing a knife.

"There was one last night," Hershel said, squeezing a Bible as he wanted to pray before killing a man. "Sasha did it. People don't need to see it. I don't want them to."

Grunting.

She looked down and was met with empty eyes of a monster. Without a blink, without a fear, without a doubt she stabbed it in the skull, killing what once was a human. Charlie looked up at Hershel and sighed. That was what she meant when she said she was tired.

"Charlie," Glenn gasped and touched the glass that was separating them. She saw in his eyes what she knew for some time now - she was a dead man.

"It's fine," she said.

"Fine?! What part of this is fine?" he asked. "Do you feel good? Is it getting better?"

"No."

He tightened his hand into fists as he was leaning on the glass. It was hard for both of them, but they had to face the truth. "It's better outside. You'll see soon. There's no buildups lately. Carl is fine, he can't wait to see you."

"Good. That's good. Tell him I miss him," she nodded her head. "Is Daryl back?" she asked. She wanted to see him before she dies and every part wished he would come here today. But she saw Glenn's head shaking as a sign of no, and her heart dropped a little in disappointment.

"Don't worry," he said. "He will be. And you will be out soon, too."

"What if I won't?" her voice trembled.

"Don't say it."

"Glenn," she choked and her eyes covered in tears. "I'm dying."

"You're not dying!" he screamed in rage. "You will be fine!" he hit the glass. Her lips trebled and his nervous attitude softened. "You can't die. You promised to be with me when my baby will be born."

"I know."

Charlie was scared. For the longest time she was thinking about death, especially when she was thinking about her brothers or parents. She lived for so long without them, but now when she had a vision that they were dead or worse - one of those creatures it was tearing her heart apart. She deserved to die, she should die as a punishment. But now when she actually had the vision of being dead she was scared. She wanted to live.

She started crying and leaned on the glass, and Glenn felt how his heart was breaking for her. He wanted to hug her and make her feel better, but he couldn't.

"Hershel," Charlie called the man's name and he looked up from his patient. She waited for him to finish his task and then he approached her.

"Something happened?"

"Can we tak?"

"Sure."

"No..." she swallowed her salvia. "I want to make a confession."

She was never a person that attended mess or prayed a lot. That's why it was so awkward right now with the man looking at her expecting. However, she had to do that. Conversation with Glenn just proved that she was closer to dying than living. "We don't have to do that."

"We do," she nodded. "If I'm about to die...I want to do this with a clean heart and heart. But I don't know where to start," she said and looked down, scrubbing her hand against one another, feeling blood on them - when in fact, they were clean.

"Something is bothering you," Hershel stated. "I could see that from the moment we had a talk in my house."

She looked up at him with tears filled eyes. "I did something bad."

"We all did."

"I killed many people," she said.

"Walkers aren't..."

"I don't mean Walkers," Charlie interrupted him and swallowed. "I was a journalist before, they sent me to Atlanta safe zone. I saw Walkers that they had locked there, I knew it wasn't safe, but nonetheless I told people that it was safe. People that died there...I killed them."

"It was your job," Hershel said. "You had no choice."

"I killed my family," she said ignoring his words. "I let them come to Atlanta, too. When I reflected it was too late and the city was overrun."

"But you wanted to warn them," Hershel still looked at her with compassion.

But she didn’t try enough to stop them. She should have just pack her stuff and go to see them, instead of waiting for them. Her mother wouldn’t want to see get so bad if she regularly saw her. If Charlie was smart enough she would never look at her job, she would leave it to see her family. Maybe then she would be with them…

"I let Dale die."

It was a bomb that Hershel didn't expect. His eyes went wide and no words left his lips, even though, they were parted.

She swallowed a lump.

Dale dying seemed so far away now. So many things happened since then and yet she still remembered it in details. Dead Dale, with all his guts out was hunting her at night sometimes. His bloody hands were reaching for her sometimes, other times he was choking her with them, and other times he was turning into a Walker, and consequently killing her.

"I watched the Walker approaching him. I saw how he struggled and I let him," she confessed. "I couldn't help him not because I was too far. I couldn't help him because I spent too much time thinking whether or not I should help him."

"But why?" he finally asked.

"Because he knew how horrible person I am," she said. "He knew the truth and I knew that if those people ever found out...they would hate me."

Puzzles in Hershel's head started to match and created a picture. "They're your redemption. That's why you couldn't accept Lori's death."

"I'm a bad person," she whispered.

"I said it once Charlie, and I will say it again," he said. "We all make mistakes. That's how we learn."

"Is killing so many people still a lesson?" she asked.

"You never know what God's plan is," he said and squeezed her hand. His eyes were still warm and overflowing with compassion. He didn't look at her with disgust or loath, and it didn't make her feel better. "And you should tell them the truth. You're so young Charlie. It's okay for you to just...not knowing."

"Is He going to forgive me?" she asked. "Are they going to forgive me?"

"I was an alcoholic," Hershel confessed. "The perfect family you saw on the farm...It wasn't like that all the time. I did bad things, too, but the important thing is that I found my way back," he said. "He forgives everything, that's why His love is so beautiful," Hershel said. "And those people are your family."

Charlie nodded her head, forgetting for a moment that she's going to die soon.

"Now rest," he said, getting up. "You need rest."

She didn’t deserved the kindness she was receiving and it was killing her more than the virus. All her life she was thinking about herself, she was cold, abrasive, and empty for people dear to her. Now, all those strangers showed her nothing but kindness and expected nothing in return. It was her hell.

Henry stopped breathing and she didn't know how long ago. Once Hershel left her alone, she decided to do as he said and fell asleep. Charlie forgot that she was in a room with a bomb ready to explode, too focused on her internal struggle- once again.

She coughed and felt a warm liquid on it.

She saw that Henry was getting up.

She called for help, but it never came.

Darkness.

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[idgivemyeyesfor-mattmurdock]

I have another matt x reader request: matt and y/n struggling with infertility, and then y/n has a miscarriage after finally getting pregnant :'( (ffs think i just need a good cry lol)

but this may be triggering so you don't have to! x

omg! hiii queen!!! love this request. It definitely was tricky to write because I swear, i wrote it like twenty-eight times before figuring it out lol. This ones not my favorite (writing wise) but lmk;)

Warnings!: Miscarriage, infertility, pain.

Currently, taking requests: slide em over babes.

Stormy weather fit Hells kitchen the same way the sun belonged in Miami. 

You hated it sometimes, especially when Matt was out at night. droplets fell on the roof of Matt apartment which sometimes kept you up.— truly it was a pain. The walls nearly shook as the thunder crashed down on new york.

Though, when the storm was over, it was sunny. not really sunny, just— it was warm. Warm enough to feel cozy. Like a campfire, or if a chimney was lit. The Warm days reminded of you when you found out you were pregnant. You felt warm, cozy, and exhilarated just likelike a fire being lit. 

Though, your body treated you like a match that had trouble lighting. Often you would get that hope, that 'spark', but then it would blow away and go out. You hated it. You cursed yourself and your body when that test would come out negative.

Matt wanted a child, and so did you. He agreed only to have a child if you truly wanted one, and you did. Growing up you werent really the one to dreammmmm about having kids. But then you met matt and everything changed.

Suddenly you wanted kids. You really did. 

He brought it up, while you thought about it. He heard you heartbeat race when you two would pass by baby stores, and you would see the excitement come around his face when someone would ask you if you two were expecting. Then the day came when you actually could respond yes. 

you were pregnant. 

How? well of course you knew how much physically, you didn't know how it happened. You stuggled with this. Like really struggled.

Nights after nights, ivf treatments, freaking prayers from all the nuns at St.Agnes’s-- hell, you two tried everything but your body wouldn’t. you cried, christ did you cry. 

Nights after nights of feeling awful, gently feeling like a sack of puss covered by skin—  then after trying so hard, paying so much money to then see “negative” on the stick. Nothing worked, 

 Until something did. 

a kid. 

You hyperfixated on everything, down to names you decided Matilda Murdock, that would be her name is she was a girl. if it was a boy you wanted Mark, or Matthew. Something biblical always seemed like a good fit when it came to boy names.

You had a plan. You and Matt would save up and buy a town home in Hells kitchen. When you would have to school, the baby would stay with Maggie at the church, or Marci & Karen. if they couldn't take care of the baby, you’d maybe just maybe let foggy take care of it. but that was the last choice. Foggy was probably you and matts number one fan when it came to having a child. it sort of, also triggered the thought once. 

Of course the re was the whole thing about matt mentioning it, but foggy was the one who brought it up when matt came to the office complaining about hoe sore he’d felt. Foggy joked that the city needed a baby devil 

you laughed it off, so did Matt but that got the thought swarming in your head. 

but now, you’re pregnant. 

you're pregnant, you have the perfect boyfriend, you live the life of your dreams. You’ve got a job, you've got the whole law school thing going for you too. The job even payed well-- you can buy matt a new tie once and a while and manage to get your hair retouched wihtout not eating dinner. Y

our life is surrounded by calls from your family members but the baby, your life is surrounded by baby shower announcements and picking out different strollers. 

Now your pregnant and you wake up every couple hours to make sure the baby is kicking, well the baby isn’t old enough to kick but you get the picture. you just want to make sure everything is fine. 

As you slept through the rain, a weird ice came around you throat, though you thought noting of it. you coughed it off, and continued to place your head down not he pillows. then, it came again. 

phlegm escaped your mouth then blood leaked out of your lips. 

Immediately your brain went to inflammation! thats it. 

inflammation inflammation… what the heck do you do to cure inflammation? uh, green tea and fish oil. 

you tossed your legs over the bed and settled you feet not he cold wooden floor. 

You went over to the kitchen, and opened matts medicine cabinet and took out what you believed to be fish oil… or vitamin D. 

hell matt had everything in braille and in separate jars so telling what everything was, was mostly a hassle. 

as you took the vitamin out, a sharp pain was pinned on the lower part of your stomach. 

hell, this wasnt inflammation. 

coughing blood and shark pain? 

your knees came weak by the second, so did you head. 

the walls began to fog up as you slowly mad you way to the couch, but as you did you fell. 

matt heard the thump come down on the apartment floor, and he was near the apartment so he decided to check in to make sure everything was okay. 

as he opened the roof door, he cauh=ght the weight that weighed on the floorboard. he heard your heart race and sweat trickle down you temples. 

he ran down the stairs and dropped his knees by your side. urgently, ehr grabbed your shoulders, and listened again for your heartbeat. then he realized he only heard one. 

only one heartbeat. 

“No no no” said Matt with a choke as he grabbed your shoulders and pressed his body against yours, his voice shut as his tears fell down his cheeks. matt slowly took his bandanna off as yo began to wake up. 

you saw his eyes, they were red, bloodshot, “honey?” you asked as your frail hands went over is jaw, “is everything okay?” 

tears contiuned to stream down his face as yo hand went along his jaw. 

“Matt?” you asked. 

his tear fell down on your chest, then you realized why he had heard. 

“…no” you said as your hand went over your mouth, “matt no, please tell me no” 

he took his head.

he guided hs hands on your back, lifting you to his chest. 

“lord, please no” you yearned as your head c=pressed against his chest, “lord—“ you said as your heart beat raced. 

“its okay” said matt as his chin pressed against your head, “Sweetheart its,” his throat croaked as he said, “Sweetheart, its okay, everything going to be okay” 

tears soaked his shirt as you yearned in not only physical pain but mental pain. 

“Sweetheart” said Matt as you wailed, “Sweetheart, please” 

“they’re gone!!” you said as you tightened your grip along his torso, “my baby’s gone.” 

your throat practically closed, your heart beat escalated and you felt the blood slowly fall on your panties as you said, “My poor baby gone” 

[siravalondulac]

ix. the father

meet me in the dark, kiss me in the moonlight

asoiaf ff | jon snow x fem!oc

summary: jon works in the stables and sees a side of elle that should have stayed hidden word count: 1619 warnings: slutshaming, detailed threats of death

masterlist

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Jon was certain that he would never get used to the smell of horse shit, no matter how long he was forced to work in the stables.

He tried not to let his discomfort show. Especially because Elle, who had been working in the stables for an even shorter time than him, seemed absolutely unaffected by her environment.

Even though he tried, Jon couldn't keep his eyes from flicking towards her every now and then. It did not distract him from his work, he would tell anyone who asked him - not that they did, too caught up with complaining.

"How come you get to tend to the horses,” Halder said to Elle, "while we have to dig around in shit?”

For some reason, after brushing out the horse’s mane, Elle had braided a strand of its hair.

Elle smirked. "Perhaps because I am not a criminal and therefore get to choose my work.”

Almost instantly after she said it, her eyes crossed with his, and her gaze softened, looking almost apologetically. Elle wasn't the only one who had noticed, apparently.

“Jon here's not a criminal either,” Grenn said from the back of the stables.

Jon could see Elle trying to say something, perhaps to apologise or explain herself, but he decided to butt in before her.

“No, it is true, I have committed the worst crime of them all,” he said in a theatrical voice. “I, as a Stark, dared to have curly hair."

A general sense of confusion could be seen on everyone's faces, but soon they all burst out into thunderous laughter - even Elle.

"Aye, and dared to be prettier than all his sisters too," Pyp exclaimed while lazily punching him in the back.

Jon, however, looked over to Elle. She was still laughing, though her eyes had never left him. He nodded and smiled encouragingly, hoping it would calm her nerves about her previous statement.

She smiled in response, and Jon knew it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Elle had started combing down the next horse, a black stallion, when suddenly Ser Alliser appeared in the doorway. If there had been remnants of laughter left, it died down now.

"Elle," he spoke loudly into the room.

Said girl stretched her head out of the horsebox. "Yes?"

"Can you come with me? I have need of you."

"I will finish brushing down this horse and then I shall be right with you."

Why was Elle so courteous with Thorne?

The man looked around the room before gruffing out a "Fine" and left.

Elle appeared seemingly unaware of the stares upon her, continuing on with her work.

“There's something weird about her accent,” Pyp said.

Halder huffed. “She's Dornish, what'd you expect?”

“But she doesn't sound like the Dornish I've met.”

“I don't think I wanna know what kind of Dornish you hung around.”

Jon had only listened with one ear to their conversation. He still stared at Elle, trying to make sense of her previous interaction.

He blinked and decided he'd had enough of the guesswork and walked over to her. She shot him a quick smile.

"Elle, why does Thorne tolerate you?"

This was what got her to turn towards him fully. She laid her head to the side.

"Do you know why he is here, at the Wall?"

Jon shook his head.

"During Robert's Rebellion, he fought for the crown. After King Aerys was killed, the loyalists were given the choice between bending the knee and swearing fealty to Robert Baratheon, or taking the Black. Ser Alliser chose the latter."

"What does that have to do with you?"

"I am a Martell. Princess Elia was my aunt and my father tried to raise an army for Viserys Targaryen. He must have put two and two together and concluded that we are on the same side."

"And are you? On the same side, I mean."

"Jon, I wasn't even born yet when the Rebellion happened. It doesn't matter whether we share political opinions, simply him believing that we do makes my life far easier."

“And with me being Ned Stark's son…” He left the thought unfinished, but he knew. No matter how much he tried (he didn't) Thorne would never like him.

"Oh, would you calm down for a moment?" Elle exclaimed. The stallion had not stayed still for even a moment since she had come into his box. "I do not mean you harm."

"I'd be careful with that one," Sam said. "I heard that a few moons past he broke someone's leg."

Elle chuckled. "I wish Elia were here. She would have no problem taming this beast."

"Elia?" Jon asked, confused. How could Elle have ever met Princess Elia?

Elle immediately recognised the origin of his confusion.

"Oh, my sister, Elia. She was named after our aunt. Sometimes I think she is half horse, the way she moves on them." She furrowed her brows together. "Though I do wish that she would have let me win some of our races."

"Maybe you'd like to race against me sometime?"

Ugh, why had he said that?

Elle smiled one of the broadest smiles he had ever seen on her. "I would like that very much.”

“Maybe you would have more of a chance,” Sam joined the conversation again, “if you rode one of Lord Willas’ horses. I heard his breeds are the best of the best.”

Jon wanted to frown at Sam, but he held back. He was his friend and Elle didn't belong solely to him.

“Good, yes. But also incredibly expensive,” Elle answered. “The animals he breeds belong to kings, not bastards.”

“True.” Sam was deep in thought. “I would not be surprised if the king himself had multiple of Lord Willas’ stallions.”

Elle smirked. “Perhaps the princess used one of those to run away.”

“You should not joke about that.” Jon didn’t know all the details of the princess’ disappearance, but even he was careful around the topic.

“You Northerners are such prudes,” Elle said with a laugh. “Everyone in Dorne would have laughed at that.”

Jon would not have been surprised if the Dornish had celebrated upon learning of the tragedy that had befallen the royal family. They held no love for the Baratheon crown and-

"Oy, Snow!" Rast called from across the stables. He was leaning on his pitchfork, an ugly smirk across his face. His eyes were on Elle. "What'd ya reckon, how often did she have to let Thorne fuck her for him to be nice to her? A dozen times maybe?" Some of the men chuckled.

The heat curled up inside of Jon's stomach and slowly made its way into his entire body. Who was he to say such ugly things about his Elle? He wanted to growl, to roar, to burn him to ashes.

"Maybe that's the reason Mormont lets her stay, eh? Suppose her bed is never cold."

A hand touched his shoulder. Jon spared a glance towards Elle, and all the fire in him froze.

Jon couldn't move. He only stared at her smile, so dark and full of malice. He had never seen someone smile like this.

Her smile promised death.

He wanted to stop her, but it was too late. She was already walking towards Rast, like a predator stalking its prey. A shiver went down Jon's spine.

The others seemingly had noticed too, for a general sense of discomfort had spread amongst them. Even Rast had noticed.

He moved his arm, and within the blink of an eye Elle was onto him. Faster than anyone could move to stop her, she slammed Rast down into one of the carts, her knee burying down on his stomach and her dagger pressed to his throat.

The other men moved back in shock, some lone shouts found no echo in the room.

"Elle," Jon tried.

"What do you reckon?" she snarled. "Perhaps the reason they let me stay is because I did to them the same thing I am doing to you now."

Rast had let out a loud scream when his head hit the shit in the cart. Now he just lay whimpering beneath her.

"Or perhaps I held them over the edge of the Wall, let them see beyond the horizon and all the way into the Lands of Always Winter. That would let anyone's blood freeze. Would you like to try?"

"Elle," Jon tried again.

"I wonder how long it would take for the entirety of your blood to leave your body. Most likely not under an hour, especially not if I only open your throat here."

Jon could almost feel her pressing the dagger further into the skin himself.

"But if I dragged you to your bed and did it there, then your bed will not remain cold for the night."

"Elle, stop!"

This time she did look up, and Jon wished she hadn't. If he didn't know any better, he would have said her eyes glowed. He took a step back.

Elle bared her teeth and let her tongue run over them. Then she looked down again, smiling.

"It seems your life shall not end today. Truly a shame, I was so looking forward to it."

She removed her dagger and took a step back. But before Rast could move away from the cart as well, Elle kicked him in the stomach and he fell back into it.

"As a reward, you get to take care of the other horses," she told Rast. Jon knew it wasn't meant as one.

Her gaze went across the room and as their eyes met, she suddenly looked unspeakably tired. Then she smiled again and walked out of the stables.

previous | next

author's note: with this chapter and the last you should figure out who elle is pretty easily

[antheshewro]

Una mattina - Chapter 3.

It took a cup of tea and a stop on a local café to make Levi learn how Hange, his partner perhaps for life, hid something big from him. Something as big as another person, and a baby, involved. Perhaps going out that day had been a mistake.

✩✩ There I am again!! sorry for the late update but life is a thing and shit happens i guess... i have the entire story ready so lmk if you want another chapter this week! xoxo ✩✩ PS: thanks so much to everyone who read it, liked it and even sent me a message, it means a lot especially bc english is not my first language and it's the first ff i post!! y'all are amazing ♡

Lawrence didn't respond, nor looked at him. She knew, from the very beginning of their conversation about Hange and the minute they met in that café, probably. She still couldn't blame him, but his words were cutting deep. She was the one to carry on with a pregnancy alone. Not Levi.

Several minutes passed, and with them, the nightly sky took the place of the sunset. The living area was dark, no lights on to illuminate the place. Lawrence hoped Levi would leave her alone, once for all. He was still sitting on the sofa, not moving or budging. But Levi didn’t need lights to see. He always moved around in darkness. His eye adjusted itself with relative ease.

Lawrence’s words still rang in his ears. She was carrying the baby of the woman he loved. Her choice over him. Why her? Why not him? He still felt anger coursing through his veins. So much so that he decided to take a step closer. He stood up and moved towards Lawrence. He wanted to leave, to be left alone, to not hear her voice. But he couldn’t just leave like that.

Lawrence, however, didn't move. Her grip around her legs tightened, and just for a moment, she could feel the baby giving her a subtle kick. It wasn't the first time she'd catch it, yet she didn't feel the same happiness she shared during the very first time it happened. Now her pregnancy felt like a weight on her shoulders. Her eyes closed just for a second, and let a quiet breath out of her lips. The living room was completely dark now, the moonlight being the only source of light from outside. The entire house was so silent, it felt like it was empty.

Levi leaned down in front of Lawrence, taking one of her hands in his. He wanted to see if he could feel the baby kicking as well. His eyes stared straight at her, a silent look telling her that he’d been hurt by this. Even if the baby wasn’t his, he felt like it should’ve been and couldn’t help but think about what his and Hange’s child would’ve turned out to be like.

He still felt hurt, angry.

“I hate you.” He said again. “I hate you.”

Lawrence felt her hand being lifted up, yet she didn't bother to look up at his face, nor she acknowledged his proximity, even if she could feel and hear his breath being very close to her. Her gaze was still looking at the starry night through the window. It made her feel like she was just existing in that chair. The burden of having someone dear to her passing away, carrying their legacy along with her, yet enduring such treatment. Levi's words were like dust in the wind for Lawrence.

“It should’ve been me.” Levi said, loud enough for Lawrence to hear. A small hint of desperation in his voice that seemed to catch his own attention, before it all turned back into his regular and plain tone. “But no, it had to be you, right? The woman she chose,” He spat out suddenly. “And why couldn’t it have been me?” He growled the last question.

Lawrence, at that point, snapped her head back towards Levi and yanked her hand away from his grip. As if something switched inside of her mind, she got up and took a step towards him, with a scowl appearing in her face. “All she talked about was you. Levi here, Levi there,” She hissed, raising her voice as she continued speaking. “And I was the woman who got to be the side chick while she never mentioned me to any of her friends. Not even you.”

Her index finger pointed at herself, pressing on her chest as she spoke. Lawrence's voice was close to a yell. “There was no space for me, ever. Only you.”

Levi took a step back from her with wide eyes, a bit surprised with her sudden change in tone. He felt his anger building up inside of him again, although he quickly regained his composure to hear Lawrence out, and once he did, he stayed quiet, thinking about what she had to say and her words hurt him more than he could’ve ever imagined.

“So you blame me for it?” Levi whispered softly, as if he felt ashamed of himself for letting this happen to Lawrence. As though it was his fault. “Is that it?”

Lawrence looked up and down at him as he spoke, shaking her head just so slightly before she took a small step back, staring at him with the same scowl she had before and a stern gaze in her eyes. Her hands were clutching the fabric of her dress, before one of them got lifted up and pointed at the door.

“Leave.” She said simply, without giving any further explanation to that simple word. Her heart felt like it was ready to jump out of her chest in a matter of seconds. “I'm done with your behaviour.”

“You’re asking me to leave?” Levi asked calmly, his eyes watching Lawrence carefully. He couldn’t help but chuckle softly as he saw her pointing towards the door. “Now you want me to leave?”

He took a small step towards Lawrence as his gaze remained fixed on her face. “After you dragged me into this mess, told me about the child you and Hange were expecting, and blamed me for everything afterwards?” He paused, then took another step towards her. “After you were the one who let me stay in this house?”

Lawrence took a step closer to Levi, their proximity making their foreheads almost touching in he process. Both their warm breaths kept hitting on each other's faces, making their skin a little red because of it. Her arm lowered and went back to the side of her body, looking into his eye with the same insistence he had in his gaze.

“I don't blame you,” She whispered, her hand still clutching the soft fabric of her lounge dress, fidgeting with it. “The baby was unplanned. And I told you Hange never knew about it because I found out after she died.”

Leaning in close towards Lawrence, that look in her eyes made his heart skip more than a beat. He couldn’t take his eyes away from her, even if he knew this was most likely a bad decision. Before she could say anything else, Levi placed his hand softly on her bare thigh and stepped closer still, his head getting as close to her belly as he could.

“Let me hear the heartbeat.” He said softly and with a look in in his eyes that nobody other than Hange had ever seen. Lawrence grabbed Levi's hand and placed it on top of her swollen stomach, while her free hand gently pressed on one side of her belly, as to make the baby move. It didn't take long before it moved, and after a couple of minutes it kicked right next to Levi's hand.

“I told you about the baby because you deserved to know,” She quietly said, feeling the baby going on with its subtle kicks inside of her womb. “I was just a fling who got pregnant. You were always Hange's first choice.”

Levi’s eyes widened at the sudden baby movement inside of Lawrence’s womb, a smile creeping onto his face at the soft kick he could feel. A kick from the child he would’ve had with Hange. He pressed his cheek and his ear against Lawrence’s belly, wanting to feel the moment too. His eyes were closed tight, though, as if it were some kind of dream.

“Let me hear it again.” He whispered gently, looking back at Lawrence.

Lawrence gently caressed her belly once again, massaging it in certain spots where she knew the baby would feel it the most. Like clockwork, it began to kick again and move around her womb, as to tell the two of them it was awake.

Even though Levi's reaction was nothing but pure happiness, her own words made her heart heavy. Lawrence was just a side woman for Hange, that unborn baby was just her offsprings. She was never important in the first place.

Levi smiled as soon as the kicks came again and placed his hand, his palm flat on Lawrence’s belly, where he could feel the baby moving around. He then looked right into Lawrence’s eyes.

“I should’ve been here with Hange,” He said with a sigh, as if he wanted to be upset that Lawrence had stolen his moment with Hange. “Not you.” But he wasn’t upset, even if he told himself that he was. His other hand was placed at her waist, pulling Lawrence close to him.

Levi probably didn't realise how his words kept hitting Lawrence as a knife stabbing her repeatedly, yet he continued to reiterate the same thought over and over again.

Lawrence felt her heart aching as time passed, which made the baby move a bit more. As if it knew his own mother was feeling sad. Her lips pursed, one hand gently caressing her swollen stomach as she looked down at it. The more she felt uneasy, the more the baby would kick Lawrence. A small gesture that made her feel less alone. Levi saw how his words affected Lawrence and wanted to keep going. He wanted to see her feeling terrible like that again and again.

“It shouldn’t be you.” He whispered at her, his body now touching Lawrence’s in more places than before. He felt her breathing in his ear and was breathing out softly himself, feeling her warm breath hit his neck.

“You were a one night thing.”

Lawrence's free hand went back to clutch her dress so tightly, her knuckles became white. She wouldn't have been upset on a regulae day but Levi's words, combined with her hormones, gave her a feeling she experienced a very few times in her life.

Her lips began to tremble and quickly pushed Levi's hand away from her body. Lawrence walked towards the stairs of her house, sitting down on the last step, breathing in and out as she covered her mouth in the process. A faint gulping sound escaped her throat, trying to calm herself down.

Levi watched as Lawrence walked away, her shoulders shaking slightly, as if she was going to cry or break down. He looked away for a few seconds and took a deep breath. He then followed her down the stairs and sat down close to her, his breath hitting her neck and cheek as he spoke.

“Why should you get to be a mother and I’m not?” He whispered harshly, looking right into her eyes. “Why should you get to love someone when I couldn’t?”

Lawrence could feel hot tears spilling from her eyes, running down her face and cheeks. The baby kept kicking and she had to caress her belly to make it calm down, breathing in and out to relax herself. Levi's proximity to her body was making it almost impossible. His words, however, made her furrow her brows.

“You wanted to bear a child?” She repeated his own words, as if she was trying to make some sort of sense out of it. “Then get a womb and a vagina.”

Levi took the arm that caressing her stomach and leaned it to her side. It could’ve been his arm caressing her womb, feeling her kicking baby inside. “I wanted to be with Hange,” He whispered softly, his warm breath hitting her face. “Have something between me and Hange made. A family.”

Silence engulfed the already silent house before Levi spoke again.

“We were meant to spend the rest of our lives together.”

And he wanted no one else to be there but him, no one else in Hange’s life but himself.

Lawrence got up again, and abruptly walked down the stairs, leaning on the iron railing as she tried to calm herself down in the process. All the kicking was making her nauseous, but never as much as Levi's behaviour. Yet, she still couldn't get properly mad since stress was gonna affect her pregnancy.

“I'm gonna have this baby and you're gonna keep it,” She spat out at some point, turning her face and glancing up where Levi still sat. “And you'll have your son or daughter.”

He sighed and walked back up the stairs, his eyes on Lawrence as he walked up to her and grabbed her arm. His face was stern as he leaned her against the wall, looking her right in the eyes and forcing her to listen to what he had to say. “But you won’t be the mother.”

He went on harshly, his hand now holding Lawrence’s stomach as the kicks from the baby could be felt again. “I will be. You’re just the woman that Hange chose to get knocked up.”

Lawrence nodded and wiped her tears, with a loud exhale, sniffling up a little as she moved towards the front door and opened it fully, standing on its side as she looked right into Levi's eye with a stern, yet hurt glance.

“Now leave,” She repeated what she previously said, although her tone had a more warning note on it. “I need to rest.”

Levi stared Lawrence down for a few seconds, as if he was expecting her to change her mind in the last second. But when no more words came out her mouth or when her expression remained the same, he had nothing else to say. He wanted to be the one telling Lawrence to leave, but his silence was just that.

He watched as she opened the front door and took her place beside it. Levi then took a few steps backwards, staring at her before walking out of the house, his words and tone stern.

“I will still be the one raising the baby.”

[mdnigtmoon]

miraculous season 5 finale spoilers!!!

not a big fan of the finale tbh.. i mean, the whole fight against monarch was disappointing, ladybug did everything all by herself, what happened to "it's you and me against the world"? chat should've been there at the very least, stop treating him like a background character ffs

also gabriel won?? he made a wish? and he's treated like a hero? while we couldn't even get a good redemption arc for chloe???? wtf

and yea im glad nathalie's alive, emilie's back (unless that was amelie??) and adrien is happy and all but. that's not how it should've been. i wanted to see both ladybug and chat defeat monarch, i wanted adrien to find out about his identity, and i wanted them to kick his ass and send him to jail. but oh well.

plus gabriel made a wish but the only consequence was his death. if he took emelie's place, then why did no one take nathalie's place? how is she still alive? also why did gabriel sacrifice himself for adriens happiness all of a sudden. the only thing he wanted was to be with his wife, and now he's suddenly a hero who actually cares about his son's feelings, after we've seen him abuse adrien constantly, especially during season 5? makes no sense

adrien needs to know!!! we all want him to be happy but it's just not fair. he has to know. about gabriel, about sentimonsters, about everything. what does felix think about all of this? he knew gabriel was monarch, or did the wish erase everyone's memory?? if so, why does marinette still remember everything im so confused

i was kind of expecting lila to take the butterfly miraculous and that's probably the only thing i liked about the finale, i wonder what she's going to use it for, cant wait for season 6 (and the special!!!)

i just have a lot of questions. it was interesting seeing all the reveals (EXCEPT FOR THE ONLY REVEAL WE WANTED TO SEE) but i was expecting more that's all

[rharyx]

I've been going through all the mainline Final Fantasy games (and such side games as well) since I've never really played that many growing up and felt like getting into them all. Doubt I'll ever play all of the main 16, since not all of them look interesting to me, but we'll see.

Final Fantasy X This was the first one I played, back in 2014. I wanted to have at least one FF under my belt before XV came out, and X looked the most appealing. Played it and loved it. Definitely a 10/10 game for me, and I think the Sphere Grid is one of the most fun leveling systems I've seen. The story is so good, the cutscenes go hard, and the characters are really well-designed and memorable. I think one of the most important aspects of FF is a good main party, and X is one of the best in that regard.

Final Fantasy X-2 I've tried twice to get into this game, and I couldn't do it either time. I love Yuna's development from X to here, and I love the aesthetic and vibe of the game, but I couldn't get into the gameplay or how the story was paced and broken up. Maybe I'll get back to it for a 3rd time someday...

Final Fantasy Type-0 I only got this because it came with the demo for FFXV, and I dropped it pretty quickly back in 2015. I only came back to it a couple months ago (2023) and played it to completion. It was definitely a chore. The gameplay itself can be fun/addicting, but everything else is just outright boring or done in a way that makes things as joyless as possible. Especially the story, which is handled super choppily. The cast was mostly one-note (which I get was intentional, in-universe, but still...) and I only really played as Ace and Cater. Machina is probably my least favorite FF protag I can think of while writing this up. I only did one playthrough, and I know there's more in NG+, but I just have no energy to go through it again. Overall, it's like a 4/10.

Final Fantasy XV To say I was disappointed is an understatement. Not really a hot take, shitting on XV, but I mean...it is what it is. I knew it was never going to be the game I was looking forward to back in 2006, but the final product was just so far removed from anything resembling a coherent thought. The combat isn't fun, the skill tree is so boring, and the "open world" is mostly lifeless. Noct and the boys had potential, but they're barely developed or given much to do -- and don't even get me started on Luna and the rest of the side cast. There's a really good story and setting somewhere underneath all the issues, and it's impressive they released anything at all, all things considered. But man, is it just disappointing. 6/10.

Final Fantasy VIII As someone who really loved Leon in Kingdom Hearts, I was always interested in seeing the origin of the character, but just like Type-0, I could just not get into this game. I tried it in 2019, after Kingdom Hearts 3 came out and let me down -- I wanted to pivot to something in the same ball park of Square Enix, so I tried seeing if other Final Fantasy games were up my alley instead. But unfortunately, I didn't click with the gameplay, and the writing felt all over the place. From the bits of it I did play, I did enjoy Squall, Rinoa, and Selphie at least. I plan on getting back to it later, but for now I just don't see myself completing it. And after dropping X-2 and Type-0, and being let down by XV, this was the moment that made me go, "Oh, maybe Final Fantasy just isn't for me."

Final Fantasy XIV The game that made me love Final Fantasy. I've never played an MMO in my life before, but I remembered watching Ray Chase (Noct's VA) stream FFXIV once or twice before and thought it looked cool. In 2020, I got Covid and was pretty much bedridden for the next nine months, so I figured then was as good a time as any to invest myself in an MMO world to whittle away the days. "If I can't live in this world, I way as well live in another," my thought process basically was. And it ended up being a great decision. I love so much about this game, from the stories, to the characters, to the world building, to the music, etc. It's just magical through and through, and I can't wait to see where the next story arc takes us. 11/10.

Stranger of Paradise Jack Garland is an amazing protagonist, and this entire game is so fucking cool. Anyone who hates it doesn't like fun. Chaos/10. The DLC is some of the worst DLC I've ever had the displeasure of paying for, though -- never managed to finish it.

Final Fantasy XVI After XV, I was reasonably hesitant to expect much from XVI, and I remember being turned off by the aesthetic and general art direction from the first trailer. But I was really surprised by how good the game ended up being. It does feel like they're sometimes overcompensating for what they got criticized on with XV -- like having so many cutscenes to the point it feels like a movie, as opposed to how chopped up and bare boned the story in XV was, for example. But the cast is likeable, the gameplay is fun, and boy howdy some of those boss fights will live rent free in my head for the rest of time. Also, the voice acting is on another level. I really didn't enjoy the ending, though, but overall it felt like a step in the right direction for future entries. 7/10.

Final Fantasy VI Man, I just love this game. It was after XVI that I decided to play the older games and finish as many as I could, and I started with VI. I didn't expect a game from 1994 to win me over so badly, but everything about it is so fantastic. I love the whole opera vibe where it's almost like the characters are actors performing a stag play, and it has some of my favorite characters in the franchise. I love Cyan, Terra, and Celes so much. I love the scene at the opera house, the phantom train sequence, the dream world, how some dungeons and parts of the game have you split up and utilize multiple parties in tandem. The music is great. I love Kefka. And dude, the ending is my favorite ending to a Final Fantasy game that I've played so far. It basically took everything I hated about XVI's ending, but did the opposite, and it was beautiful. It was exactly the kind of ending that I needed to see after all the previous games I'd been playing. 10/10.

Final Fantasy IX Another masterpiece. If VI was like an Italian opera, XI felt to me more like a post-renaissance Disney movie. The art direction is so good, and the story is really well written. That said, I don't really care for a good chunk of the main party (Quina and Amarant especially), and like I said above, a good party is one of the most important aspects of a FF game. Zidane, Garnet, and Vivi are all amazing, and I really like Freya as well, but beyond that...meh? I wish Beatrix was a party member. I will admit though, I cheesed it by using the handicaps on the Pixel Remaster version (dealing 9999 damage by default), so I can't actually say if I like the gameplay or not, but it seemed like standard FF gameplay, and the Trance system looked cool at least. But I was just super invested in the story, and didn't want to spend a lot of time fighting. The locations and cities in this game were noticeably good, I do want to say. Overall, a solid 8/10 for me.

Final Fantasy VII I almost didn't want to play this one. It's by far the most popular one and I already knew so much about it through two decades of cultural osmosis and Kingdom Hearts, I was almost content just continuing to be the guy who could say, "Yeah, nah, I've never played FF7" just to be a hipster or whatever. But I did play it. And I can see why it's so loved. The story is so good, and unlike with IX, I actually didn't use handicaps (besides the 3x speed for grinding), and I really enjoyed the gameplay. Probably one of the more addicting gameplay loops from a FF game. The main cast is really good, even if it does have its weaker links (Cait, Yuffie, Vincent). My only real complaint is the translation felt really stiff, like even the translators didn't know what they were reading sometimes. It's probably just because it was the 90s. Still, not a big enough nitpick to not give the game a 9/10.

And that's where I am now.

I want to play Crisis Core and the 7 Remake now, since I have context for what's going on due to playing the OG 7.

And then I think IV is the pixel game I'll tackle next.

I really want to play the XIII series, since I don't believe it's as bad as I remember people claiming it was back in high school. But they're not on PS5, so that'll have to wait.