#i keep trying to find little ways to improve my life and I’m hopeful

[simplyghosting]

I’ll be honest, for as many years at I’ve seen October art/writing challenges (and art challenges the rest of the weeks/months of the year), I’ve only attempted a few and never finished any.

That being said, I think what I’m going to do for my umpteenth attempt this new October is to just.. do. Just do something every day. Any challenge, any prompt, any event, even if it’s mixed and mismatched. Doesn’t matter if it’s finished, though I will try for it. A few well-typed sentences, a sketched drawing, an unfinished study, I’ll still label them a success. I want my goal for this month to be to make improvements in my art and passions and to make an effort. Not bogged down by perfectionism or despair or lack of motivation or whatever else may stop me. I want to make the challenge of this month for me to live my life thoughtfully and love and respect what I bring into it again.

[filmsmakkari]

your highness

fred weasley x slytherin!reader

Summary: When Slytherin beats Gryffindor in the final quidditch match of the season, Fred Weasley decides to give the Slytherin princess a little reward

CW: NSFW, semi public sex(?), oral (f receiving), dirty talk, praising.

Author's Note- As usual, I had a black reader in mind, so (Y/N) is described as having braids, but that's the only physical description. Anyone can imagine themselves in this fic. Also emmm I have never written smut in my life saurrr... I hope this makes you horny and I'm sorry if it doesn't!

To say that (Y/N) (L/N) hated Fred Weasley would be an understatement.

The Princess of Slytherin was in the prefect’s restroom, trying to wash the red and gold dye out of her hair. The last quidditch game of the autumn term was the next day, and Fred fucking Weasley thought it would be funny to make a mockery of the Slytherin team captain by having Peeves throw ink at her as she tried to run down the moving staircases. 

“That bloody…” she muttered as she roughly scrubbed her scalp. She’d been at it for what felt like hours when the dye finally washed away, and the raven-winged color of her long braids was finally visible again. 

Enraged, (Y/N) stomped out of the bathroom, envisioning ways to get her revenge. In her anger and fantasies of all the means of torture she could inflict upon the irritating prankster, she was barely aware of her feet carrying her down to the ever-calming bioluminescence of the  Slytherin common room. She waved her wand violently, blowing around a stack of papers and knocking over a desk, catching the attention of Blaise Zabini. 

The boy seemed slightly frightened as he said, “Hey (Y/N/N), you alright?”

(Y/N) huffed with irritation. “Oh, I’m more than alright. I’m ready to knock Weasley off his bloody broom.”

-

The Great Hall was alive with conversation. Some students excitedly cast charms, creating fireworks with their house colors and animals, while others feasted on fruits and vegetables in preparation for the big match. Slytherin vs. Gryffindor games were always the most anticipated. The extreme disdain between the two teams brought out the absolute best in them as players. Even if it was occasionally violent, it made for a great game. 

Fred and George Weasley sauntered into the hall with the typical swagger of Gryffindors, scanning the tables and admiring the displays from the students. As Fred eyed the Slytherin table, his gaze fell upon her. There in her quidditch sweater, brown knee-high boots, and a horribly tempting skirt, the Slytherin Princess, who’d earned her title by getting the best grades in her house, being captain of the quidditch team, and being so ridiculously beautiful that even the proudest Gryffindors tried their luck with her, was sitting on the table, locked in conversation with Blaise Zabini and Emma Vanity- the Slytherin chasers.

“Discussing a new and improved strategy for the pitch?” Fred asked, approaching her. “I might as well tell you now, you’re wasting your time.”

(Y/N) turned to him with an eye roll.  “Keep taunting me, Weasel. It’s the most satisfaction you’ll get today.”

“Keep dreaming. Tell me, how’d you like my little gift yesterday?” Fred asked, resting his hands on the table and leaning close to her face.

(Y/N) hummed. “To be honest I’d expected more from you, beater. You couldn’t even do the job yourself. That scared of little old me?” 

“You wish. You’ll see out there today. Tell you what. If you win, which you won’t, I’ll reward you,” Fred smirked.

“Please, what could you possibly have that I want?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Too bad you’ll never find out.” Fred winked and walked over to the Gryffindor table, filling (Y/N) with so much irritation that it made her face hot.

-

Fred Weasley was eating his words.

The match was over before it began, the Slytherin players flying like bullets, (Y/N) ’s strategy working to absolute perfection, giving (Y/N) the perfect opportunity to catch the snitch without hesitation, winning the last game of the season.

The after-party was a blur of green and silver, fireworks, and cheering. One second (Y/N) was being hoisted up in the air by her teammates while they chanted her name; the next, she was playing games with giggle juice and fire whisky with her classmates. The snake lair was on fire with passion and excitement. While (Y/N) was reveling in it all, she had another celebration in mind. While her friends chanted so loud that the paintings were all forced to cover their ears, (Y/N) quickly slipped out of the common room and skipped happily up the stairs with a clear destination in mind.

As the sleeping form of the fat lady came into view, (Y/N) suddenly realized she had no actual plan. She couldn’t get into the Gryffindor common room, and even if she could, what would she do? Find Weasley in his dorm room and slap him? Cast a spell turning all the furniture silver and green to boast Slytherin pride? Steal Fred’s clothes while he was in the shower and- oh. Somewhat embarrassed at how eager she’d been to go to the Gryffindor common room and at how her thoughts kept wandering back to Fred, (Y/N) quickly turned around and began to go back to her dorm but was quickly stopped in her tracks.

Standing before her was the very person who’d been nagging at her thoughts all night. There was Fred Weasley, with dripping wet red hair and no shirt, looking down on her with irritation and amusement.

“Well well,” he said tauntingly, stepping closer and closer to her until her back was pressed against the wall. “Just what is the snake princess doing so close to the lion’s den? Came here to gloat?” Heat was radiating off of him. He was angry about the match.

(Y/N) swallowed, suddenly nervous, her usual Slytherin pride and confidence nowhere to be found. “As a matter of fact, Weaselbee, I’m here to see you. I told you I’d win, I’m here to claim my reward.”

Fred raised an eyebrow at this. He walked over to the fat lady, knocking on the portrait softly. The fat lady awoke with a jump, giving Fred a frustrated glare.  “Sorry about this,” said Fred. “Iced Mice.” The fat lady hesitated. “And just what are you doing bringing her in here?”

(Y/N)’ s bite finally returned as she spoke, “I can show you better than I can tell you. How about a charm for taking the tongues of bad singers?” Fred chuckled at that.

“Why, I never!” said the fat lady as she finally swung open the door.

Fred took hold of (Y/N) ’s hand as he walked in, dragging her behind him.

(Y/N)’ s words were full of venom as she whisper-shouted, “Just what do you think you’re doing, you slimy-”

“Just be quiet for once, princess.”

Indignation swelled in (Y/N) ’s chest, but she obeyed. Though she toothlessly fought back, attempting every now and then to snatch her arm away from him, deep down, she wanted to see where this would go.

Fred dragged her to a dark corner, taking her by her hips and lifting her onto a desk. 

“What the hell are you doing?” (Y/N) asked with a furious look, but there was no bite behind the glare. Her heart was pounding so loudly she was afraid he’d hear it. 

“You came for your reward, didn’t you? You were so desperate for it that you were willing to cheat during the match,” he said, moving her hair and leaning into her ear.

(Y/N) shuddered at the closeness before pushing him away. “I didn’t cheat, Weasley, the hell are you talking about?”

Fred hummed, smoking at her and placing his arms on either side of her, caging her in.

(Y/N) scoffed. “This is ridiculous, I can’t believe I wasted my time coming here. Have a nice life carrot top.”

(Y/N) pushed him again, hopping off the desk and starting to walk away from him, but Fred quickly grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back into him and placing a wet, passionate kiss on her lips. (Y/N)’ s eyes widened in shock as Fred Weasley, the person she hated most since first year, slipped his tongue into her mouth and lifted her back onto the desk. Shocked and confused, she pushed him away a third time.

Fred looked deeply into her eyes, a tendril of red hair hanging over his eyes, making him impossibly more attractive. “Oh c’mon, love, don’t act like you don’t want it too. Like you haven’t wanted it since fourth year when you walked in on me showering after the quidditch cup.”

(Y/N)’s face got hot at the memory. “I hate you. You hate me. I’m the “princess of Slytherin,” remember?”

“Well then, your highness, allow me to serve you,” said Fred, dropping to his knees.

“What are you doing?” (Y/N) asked, her voice shaking as Fred ran his hands up and down her thighs, barely past her skirt. The tight little green dress and those white knee-high socks she was wearing had been driving him crazy since he first saw them, and he wanted nothing more than to see what was hidden underneath them.

“I’m rewarding you, even if you did cheat like a naughty little serpent, somehow I feel like this will be just as much as a reward for me.” He spread her legs wide, getting in between them and slowly peeling back her skirt.

(Y/N) breathed in sharply. “You have tormented me for six years, and now you expect me to let you use me to get off?’ 

“‘M sorry,” said Fred, kissing her thigh softly. (Y/N) shuddered. Fred kissed his way up to her sopping wet heat, muttering “I’m sorries” between every kiss. He finally made his way to her lacy undergarment, placing a soft kiss there. “You’re so wet, darling,” he said, popping his head out and looking at her, “It seems like you’ve already forgiven me.”

“In your bloody dreams, Weasley,” (Y/N) said with an unconvincing scoff. “I’ll hate you until the day I die.”

Fred hummed before quickly dipping his head back between her thighs, sliding her panties to the side, and licking a long stripe through her slick.

(Y/N) let out a throaty moan at the sensation, gripping the desk tightly. 

Fred chuckled against her, the vibrations making her breathe in deeply. “What was that about you hating me, love?” he asked.

“Shut up and get on with my reward, asshole.”

Fred smirked. “As you wish, your grace.”

Fred grabbed her thighs tightly and went to work, taking her clit into his mouth and sucking it like a starving man. (Y/N) moaned loudly before placing her hand over her mouth. Fred looked up at her, his sudden pause making her whimper. “No, no, no, darling. Don’t hide the noises.” He slowly pushed a single long finger inside her. “Let the whole school know.” Another finger. He looked into her eyes with a wicked smile. “Let them all hear how the snake princess let a lion make her scream.” He added two fingers that time and rapidly pumped in and out. And, just as he said she would, (Y/N) screamed. She went to cover her mouth again, but with his free hand, he took both of her wrists and held them in front of her. It burned, but it felt so good. (Y/N) began to move her hips slightly to increase the sensation, making Fred smile. “That’s it, beautiful, good girl. Good girl.” Fred spoke in a way that was almost patronizing. If she weren’t so close to the edge, she probably would have made some snarky remark, but (Y/N) couldn’t think straight as the pressure in her stomach was building up, and the Weasley boy was making her see stars. She let out another loud moan, throwing her head back as the pressure became unbearable. 

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK,” (Y/N) screamed as Fred’s fingers slammed into her g-spot, and she finally couldn’t take it anymore. (Y/N) let out a scream as she came, barely aware of anything around her. Her vision went blurry as the hot juices spilled out of her. Fred wasted no time re-attaching his mouth to her drenched cunt, licking up her juices until she was clean. “Mmm, sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. Surprising for such a nasty girl,” Fred said, slapping her thigh, sliding her panties back over, and standing up.

He placed his arms on either side of her, staring at her intensely, his hair disheveled and her cum around his mouth. (Y/N) matched his gaze with equal intensity, her heart pounding, a million questions running through her head. After a few beats of silence, she finally spoke. 

“I still hate you.”

Fred actually laughed at that, shaking his head before looking back at her. “Beat me again, princess, and I’ll give you a better reward then my fingers and my  mouth,” he rasped into her ear before walking off to his dorm room, leaving her with her legs spread on a table of the Gryffindor common room.

“We’ll see how much you hate me then!”

[sjywrites]

༊*·˚ Prada & Versace

: ̗̀➛ 𝓢ugar 𝓓addy!𝓛ee 𝓗eeseung x 𝓕!reader. 𝓖enre smut, fluff, age gap, s2l. 𝓢ypnosis where reader is a broke and single college student celebrating her best friends birthday, and at said party she meets someone who might solve more than just one of her problems. 𝓦𝓒 estimated 5-10k. 𝓒𝓦 age gap, oral (f! and m! receiving), unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!), pet names (good girl, baby, slut in an affectionate way!), mentions of alcohol, both hee and reader smokes, reader is a bit intoxicated but still fully aware of what she’s doing.

𝓝ote this is a sneak-peak of the actual story, this is the first story I’ve ever posted on tumblr so if you see anything that I can improve, please let me know. I want the first story I post to be good enough for me to be motivated to keep writing!

This is purely fiction and is not meant to interpret how the idols act in real life!

,, not proofread + english is not my first language ! ೃ⁀➷

Flashing lights, loud music and the smell of sweaty bodies. That’s what most clubs look like, and this one was no different.

It was Ryujins 19th birthday, and she wanted to celebrate it with just her closest friends and her girlfriend. That’s why Y/N agreed to it in the first place. She’s not used to social settings and spends most of her time stressing over finals, so being forced into a social setting wasn't making her any less stressed. Her and Ryujin are the complete opposite of each other and she can’t really remember how they became best friends, but somehow they did. And that’s why she’s in this position right now, pressed between strangers in a club that reeked of alcohol, dressed in a skimpy black dress that barely covered her up.

“Hey Y/N, get me another drink will ya’!” Ryujin shouted and laughed, fully intoxicated. “I don’t really think that’s a good idea Ryu” I said, a little worried about her condition “you’ve had a lot already” I tell her, hoping she would just give up “It’s fineee, I’m fineee, trust!” She laughed and grabbed another beer. I tried to stop her but she was too fast. I just gave up and sighed, trying to reason with her when she’s drunk is like trying to argue with a wall “You’re gonna throw up later I’ll tell you that.” I grabbed my lighter and walked outside for a smoke, leaving her to Yeji, her girlfriend. I love Ryujin, but sometimes she can be a handful to look after.

I walk out on the balcony, leaning against the rack and admire the glowing night sky, letting the cold wind run over my body. It’s a relaxing moment until I hear someone approaching and I assume it’s either Ryujin or Yeji, until they lean against the rack beside me. Build too big to be either of them, I look over in their direction. A tall, hot guy with glasses stands there. He lights a cigarette and looks over to me. I forgot how to breathe for a moment, embarrassed, I looked away slightly. When I look back to see if he’s still there, we make eye contact. He’s close enough that I can feel the heat roaming around him. And I can't tell if it’s the embarrassment or the close contact with the man that makes my cheeks heat up, but I’d rather not find out.

I take a look at the man in front of me, scanning him up and down. Dressed in a suit too fine to be worn at a basic club, hair styled in a way that makes it look almost untouched, and his eyes, his eyes were so easy to get lost in. I snap out of it when I realize I’d been staring for a while, a slight smirk on the man's lips as he leans down to my level.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer”

✩ ♬ ₊.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A/N please let me know if you want me to finish it! Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated ♡ (Also someone please teach me how to make my posts aesthetic I've never posted on Tumblr before so I don't know how it works 😔)

[huffleflufflefly]

Now That I "See" You - An Ominis Gaunt x Reader One Shot

I've edited this so many times and yet I keep finding typos and mess ups 😥. I hope it's all better now.

Ominis Gaunt x Reader One Shot

Fluff? I think? I'm new to this. It's not spicy so.

Temporary eyesight, kissing, cuddling...I think that's it XD

(I got this idea from deaf people having Cochlear implants to be able to hear and I thought, what if they made glasses so you could only see when you wear them? (Using magic obviously, I know we can’t do that IRL) Also, if you got tired or overwhelmed seeing things, you could just take them off! Similar to the implants, when you don’t want to hear, you can just take the magnets off. Anyway I’m not the best at writing, but this idea was in my head for a long time! Enjoy!)

Basically: You’ve been working on a temporary fix to help Ominis see. You’ve tried multiple potions, charms, the lot. You came up with an idea to somehow enchant a pair of glasses to help him see. You’ve tried quite a few times, but you felt this pair was the one!

"I've done it!"

I yell as I sprint over to where Ominis is. He's in his usual spot. The cold, hard floor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts tower.

"You've said that at least a hundred times already" He teased, a small smirk playing on his lips as he looked in your general direction.

You shoot him a playful glare which he can sense, making his smirk grow wider. "Oh c'mon, try to be a little more supportive than that! This is for you, you know!"

I reach into my bag and pull out my invention as previous forms of it spill out, littering the floor. Pairs of glasses. Enchanted glasses to be specific. 

These are intended to let the user see temporarily while they have them on. Ominis has been very patient with you through this long process with each prototype, each one giving no new result so far aside from one that made him see a blinding light once. You apologized again and again until he scolded you. He asked you to continue in the hopes that that meant there was some improvement in store.

You'd been at it for hours, days. The dark circles under your eyes making it more than evident of your sleep deprivation. Fortunately, the boy you care so much to stay up these ungodly hours for didn't notice, or so you thought.

"I hope these work this time, for your sake." He definitely noticed. “I don’t understand why you’re going through all of this effort in the first place, (Y/N) .”

I sigh. “Do I need a reason? If I must, I was curious if there was anything that could be done. When Sebastian told me your family tried everything, I felt like there had to be something!

“You sound an awful lot like Sebastian right now.” He chuckled softly as I instruct him to close his eyes before placing the glasses on his face, resting them on the bridge of his nose.

His eyes opened slowly as he felt the cold metal against his nose. Nothing. No difference. Not even the brightness that hurt his eyes with the last pair. He comes up with something, anything to hear the smile in her voice.

“I think I see something! Little shapes!” He tries to settle his voice as he lies, but it’s obvious to  you.

“It’s alright,” You sigh in defeat, sinking to the floor to sit beside him. “I thought for sure this one would work! I used anything I could that claims to improve eyesight!”

He tilts his head toward you, a playful smirk growing on his face, “(Y/N), you can’t improve eyesight that wasn’t there to begin with.” He meant to say it in a teasing, yet comforting way, but then he heard a sniffle and quickly reached out to you, pulling you towards him before you could start crying. 

“Shh..I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, darling.” He rubs your back gently as he tries to soothe your disappointed heart. “I don’t need to see to be happy. I have you and Sebastian in my life. I couldn’t ask for anything more.” One hand moves to your hair while the other searches for and cups your cheek. “I don’t need sight to know how much I’m cared for, nor how beautiful you are.”

At this you blush slightly, the heat carrying over to his fingers. Your frown curling into a smile. “I know that…but I wanted to try. You deserve to see this beautiful world.”

He puts a finger to your lips, cutting you off. “All I want is to be here with you, my dear.” Ominis traces his finger along your lips. “And maybe a kiss as well” You look into his cloudy blue eyes, a mischievous glint dancing across them.

“That can definitely be arranged.” You reach for him and pull him close, connecting your lips, the kiss laced with passion and understanding. Feeling his kiss settled your sadness and desire to keep trying to help him see. You relax almost enough to fall asleep in his arms, but tense up when you start slipping. 

After a few moments you pull away. “You know it’s a shame, you look very handsome in these glasses.” 

He chuckles, lifting a hand to caress your cheek. “If you’d like, I’ll wear them for a bit.” His eyes widen suddenly and flicker around your face. He…sees something! Similar to his wand, being able to see shapes, silhouettes of people and objects, but a bit different. He can see a bit more shapes. 

You notice his eyes travel to yours, locking onto them. “Ominis?” You look at him, a confused, concerned expression plastered on your face. He can see the outline of your eyebrows turning inward.

“I..I can see..maybe not everything, but…(Y/N)..I think it worked after all!” He cups your face, still looking into your eyes, lifting his hands to your face to feel the features he sees. “This is incredible! I see my hands moving, the outline of your jaw, your eyes.” He pauses for a moment, a warm, affectionate smile forming on his face. “You’re beautiful (Y/N)! Just as I thought! Oh Merlin, this is incredible!”

You take a moment to register his words, blinking rapidly. Finally, your face softens and you smile. “It worked?”

“Yes! I can see far more than I can with my wand!” He reaches down with ease and grasps your hands tightly. “Thank you (Y/N), truly.” 

Feeling both accomplished and full of love for this man, you pull him into a tight embrace. You both hold each other, tearing up slightly from the excitement. You immediately start thinking of more experiments to try out.

[cherrifire]

Hello this is probably super random but I’m personally curious on how to start working with content creators like people from the traffic life serries? Like specifically with YouTube video thumbnails. I really think it would be a good thing to try out and I feel confident in my skills to do it.

I'm unfortunately not going to be much help since I don't usually find work, work finds me. I don't even have my commissions page public yet and CCs keep showing up in my dms like "heyyyy 🥰"

I think the only time I specifically reached out to a creator was Rendog. He said something on stream about wanting to find an emote artist. Told stream to send artists to him on Twitter. So I decided to shoot my shot and sent him a message basically saying "Hey Ren, I heard you were looking for an artist! Here are some examples of my emote work, hope to hear from you soon <3" and it worked!

I guess in the case of Spiff and Martyn (who both just showed up one day), keep a steady social media. Regularly post art and keep up with the creators you like. If they see your work and they like it, they WILL do something about it. This doesn't always work of course and is not a genuine suggestion to find work, but this is how it happened for me.

The better advice I can give is in the case of Ren. Keep an eye out for opportunities and ALWAYS try to take them. The worst they can do is say no. So there is no harm in trying. When Creators want to commission an artist, they will sometimes go to the community to ask for suggestions. Tweets like "looking for an artist with ___ style, reply with examples or artists you think are good ^-^" are fairly common.

ALSO! This is going to sound so cliche, but take any job you can and PRACTICE. I MEAN IT MAN.

Reason 1: I started working for Grian because he saw my work through Martyn. Plus, Grian isn't the only one to find me this way.

Reason 2: Improvement is real and WILL get you.

As proof, here's my first and super ugly thumbnail from a year ago (don't be fooled by the high view count, the other videos around it had views in the millions. So this thumbnail did not help):

And here's my newest thumbnail:

Hope this helps at least a little. Sorry I can't say much else. Things just keep happening to me and I didn't do much to get there.

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

How Halsin’s “once you get to my age” conversation not long after he finally recruited as a party member SHOULD have gone if you were an elf and could call him out on not being old.

Because as a drow my Tav should be allowed to call him out and tease him over it

(My Tav, but written pretty generically and without any gender indicators for Tav so knock yourself out)

————————

“You didn’t answer the part about lovers” you say as you fold your arms. Halsin held a certain level of fascination to you. Maybe it was his sheer size, maybe it was his confidence, or his willingness to just listen. Maybe it was because you truly could not get a read on him.

He had been frustratingly dodging most questions about himself until now, softly smiling and telling you ‘there will be time for questions later. I must keep my focus on the task at hand’ and now somehow managed to tell you an incredible amount and nothing at all at the same time.

“I’m 350 years old. Of course there have been lovers. Just because I love nature doesn’t mean I’m betrothed to it. Though sometimes, nature needs reminding…” he trailed off.

Another redirection, talks of the past while not acknowledging that the question was about the current and offering an interesting tidbit instead. You recognized what he was trying to do, but unfortunately his smirk while speaking about nature alluded to an all too good to pass up story.

“Hold on- nature needs reminding of what exactly?” you ask.

“Well, I didn’t pick this scar up in battle. I was in wildshape, only I forgot it was the season when bears are particularly social. A she-bear claimed me as her own- and did not appreciate being spurned” he said.

Less riveting than you hoped, but still interesting. And certainly not enough to convince you to drop the question.

“Don’t leave me hanging- is there someone in your life right now?” Simple. Direct. Surely no way to dodge it again.

“Right now? I bed down alone, I’m afraid” he answers. There’s a small drop in his voice, not sorrow, but, disappointment?“Perhaps once I talk less of curses and parasites, my fortunes will improve”.

It was not quite the answer you were expecting. A clear answer this time, but something in the way his words hung in the air felt off.

You look over his face, searching for some glimmer of information but are met with the same relaxed but stoic expression he used when he was done talking about a subject.

“Tell me something about yourself that I wouldn’t even think to ask” you change the subject, hoping to find any bit of interesting information from him.

“Hmm, I suppose you wouldn’t be shocked to learn I love animals and nature? I know, I know; well-trodden territory. Well, let’s see… I whittle in my spare time, and I’ve something of a sweet tooth- though everyone’s very amused when I say I like honey”.

A smile plays on your lips, you genuinely could not tell if he was avoiding saying much and choosing to give you obvious answers purposefully or not.

“Whittling? What do you make?” you ask, fishing for anything you could.

“Ornaments, utensils- and ducks. I like ducks”.

New information gained and yet nothing new truly learned.

“So you turn into a bear and you like honey?” you repeat back to him, “A little on the nose”.

“I like what I like. Once you get to my age you realize there’s little point in denying yourself, so long as other’s aren’t affected” Halsin replies.

“Your age?” you laugh, in the grand scheme of elven lives Halsin was young still, only a few decades older than yourself despite speaking as if he was at least 800. “And how old do you think I am?”

Halsin flashed a quick smile, brief but betraying a lot of emotion. The sort guilty smile you offer when you’re caught.

“My apologies. I don’t encounter too many full elves these days” his face relaxes, not his usual careful composure, but a true relaxation. “No, I supposed 350 is young still, and sometimes I need reminding of that too. You get used to seeing life on the scale that the others see. People treat you as old and you start to believe it, or at least you let them make their assumptions about you”.

“So ‘old, wise Halsin’ is an act?” you tease.

“I am wise!” he laughs, a truly deep laugh that rumbled from his chest. A laugh that spreads into a sense of warmth within you. “If I wasn’t then you wouldn’t have come to my grove seeking my knowledge and skills!”

“I was told to seek out the old, wise archdruid of the the grove and imagine my surprise seeing an elf, only decades older than myself acting as if he was as least twice his age!” You laughed back, unable to keep his laughter from spreading to you. “Though I suppose I can keep quiet and let you continue this front, if you can keep up with me, old man, because I very much so am still young” you tease.

“You’ll find I’m more than able to keep up with anything you’ve got, don’t let me fool you into thinking my size is just for show. I think you’ll find I’m more than capable of going all day and night” the tone that crept into his voice let you know that he very much knew why you were asking if he currently had a lover earlier.

[theresstillgrowinghere]

I don’t often find I have much to say during chronic illness awareness months anymore. I’m tired. My words feel tired. I don’t feel like I have anything new to add. Sometimes I worry though that that in part comes from my having been in various digital chronic illness spaces for almost a decade. Of course it feels tired to me. There are things that rattle around my brain that feel so obvious and commonplace (and that have been said much more eloquently by others before me) but may still be worth expressing, just judging by the ways people in my life haven’t been able to understand

So for gastroparesis awareness month this year, there are a few things I want to note from my experiences (tw for food/eating, weight without numbers, medical trauma)

1) My relationship with food is so scarred and multifaceted. It is messy and thorny, conflicting and complicated

(I am scared of food. I miss food. I hate food. I want to eat so badly. I never want to think about eating again. Tell me in detail about how it tasted. I love food. Please don’t ask me to join you for a meal. I don’t want to miss the communal aspects of eating. I feel so disconnected and other and separate just because I don’t eat. Sometimes I do try to eat and it makes me sick. Don’t comment on it, please; it’s not helpful to scold or encourage - I feel shame either way)

2) There is no cure. There is only management. I think people understand this in theory more than actuality, because when I say this I mean please, please stop expecting any management option to be The Thing. Please don’t expect something to offer substantial improvement, even if it is a life-saving dramatic change. As I have tried to explain to people in my life, those types of interventions are often complicated and risky and, in our broken healthcare system, very difficult to access until the situation truly is dire and life-threatening. Which can mean that the body takes significant damage before getting there. Sometimes by the time you access the intervention, that damage is irreversible and the goal is just to stop further decline. It’s not making me better; it’s keeping me from getting worse. For some reason that’s difficult for people to understand

(But sometimes people do find what for them is The Thing or are The Things, and that’s an important piece of the whole picture. The problem is the persistence of unrealistic expectations among people around us)

3) My relationship with healthcare is vital but fraught and heavy. I rely on it tremendously just to stay alive. It is also my only in-person access to the world and to people, which is a weird kind of mindfuck. But I am also deeply afraid of it after so many years of trauma. I am terrified of hospitals and medical professionals. I’m sorry for the way that fear makes me irrational, makes me assume, makes me protect myself. I know so many medical professionals are so caring and kind, but it is very, very hard to go into a medical setting trusting that that will be the case

4) There are some things I wish truly were obvious. Like don’t comment on someone’s weight, ever. Don’t say you wish you could “have a little of that” to change your appearance. Don’t try to convince me to “just try to eat a little.” Trust that I know my body best. Don’t offer me unsolicited advice or recommendations. Don’t say “when you get to be my age…” because I will point out that, based on the amount of damage to my body already, it is very possible I will never reach your age. But more to the point, I am not too young to be this sick. It happens

Anyway, these are my 3am-notes-app, camped-out-on-the-bathroom-floor thoughts. It is also important to note that they exist in the context of my gastroparesis being born of and coexisting with my other chronic illnesses, and they all become so deeply entangled

Wishing everyone well. Hoping your August is kind and gentle

To everyone with gastroparesis (and other digestive disorders, really), I’m sorry your tummy hurts, and no, you actually don’t need to be very brave about it. As I heard someone say recently in a different context but definitely applies here as well, “We weren’t born to be fighters. I don’t want to be brave. I want to be okay.” I just want all of us to be okay

[deanbrainrotwritings]

jacklesverse bingo 2023 | MASTERLIST

most of these will be 18+ stories that include sexual or dark themes, individual warnings will be added for each one

hello y’all this is my first bingo and I’m so excited to start and finish my @jacklesversebingo card.

— eris

guidebook for sinners turned saints [smut, 8.8k]

description— dean uses the sexiest seduction methods to get laid when he keeps getting cockblocked by his gaming girlfriend.

mon cœur s’ouvre à ta voix [smut, 5k]

description — aka. part II of mattel. finally, in the privacy of your home, you find the willpower to make the afternoon all about dean (as you’d originally hoped) when he tries to distract you from your plans.

and their name was treason [gen, 2k]

description — with the help of charlie, sam and Dean have become prolific con artists. but after losing his work, dean’s left wondering how do you con a con artist?

the love letter collection : part II [fluff, 2.6k]

description — being a dreamwalker, seeing every universe, having a hot boyfriend. there’s a million perks to that. this is the soft version.

seven [smut, 5.2k]

description — dean would rather be doing something else with his time rather than doing research, he’d rather be doing her.

the politics of knife fighting [flangst, 4.5k]

description — tom tried to live a normal life after getting away from his hometown, but he should’ve known his little slice of heaven would go bad eventually.

closer than this [smut, 2.2k]

description — something quick. something hot. in between busy tasks. when everyone else is distracted.

hero of the half-truth [smut, 3.7k]

description — you can’t decide whether it’s a punishment or not when you go to see soldier boy knowing that he’s trying to keep you safe from everything in his life

demonology and heartache [smut, 4.9k]

description — dean is a devout catholic and has never known a life outside the church, all his resolve is broken by the temptation of a hellish seductress.

mattel [smut, 2.9k]

description — looking for some new toys to spice up the bedroom, Dean discloses his insecurities and leaves you thinking of ways to help erase them.

same book but never the same page [fluff, 5.6k]

description — part III of the love letter collection. still dreamwalking. chasing after someone who can destroy worlds. and dean is jealous of his variants. what could go wrong?

two hearted [smut, 4.8k]

description — playing pretend, doing risky things, improv, Valentine’s Day is more than “unattached drifter Christmas” now.

sweet kansas honey [smut, 1.5k]

description — invited by her friend to a bee farm, but Dean wasn’t invited to their cute day out. Dean gets pouty… and, ya know, horny.

colder than my heart, if you can imagine [gen, 2.3k]

description — you and soldier boy can’t seem to get along, but it may be because of something deeper than hatred or jealousy.

the love letter collection : part I [smut, 11k]

description — being a dreamwalker, seeing every universe, having a hot boyfriend. there’s a million perks to that. this is the sad version.

god, if you are above [smut, 1.8k]

description — technically part two of demonology and heartache (which I haven’t posted, yet). an au in which dean is a priest and the reader is a demon with an obsession to corrupt him.

the pros and cons of breathing masterlist [smut, ?]

description — dean gets his bloodlust under control and becomes a baker. then he meets you and there's a whole other lust that takes him over. were you his unmaking or purpose?

stone flower [fluff, 1.9k]

description — aka. part II of I believe in a thing called loved. quickly attempting to find out what’s wrong with his girlfriend, dean makes a dreadful (objectively funny) discovery about what’s actually going on

I believe in a thing called love [smut, 4.2k]

description — dean thinks you’re playing a game but he slowly realises you’re not.

right people, wrong place [smut, 3.3k]

description — aka. part II of and their name was treason. confrontations and unexpected turn of events. the truth and the consequences.

when broken is easily fixed [fluff, 2.7k]

description — priestly broke up with tish (yes!) uh, i mean… you watch him be pathetic and sad with his big wet green eyes and decide to do something about it.

taglist

main masterlist

dean winchester masterlist

beau arlen masterlist

soldier boy masterlist

jensen ackles masterlist

jake gray masterlist

boaz priestly masterlist

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO DEANBRAINROTWRITINGS 

do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or republish my work on another platform

[buttdumplin]

A John Price meet-the-fam special!! This is pure, indulgent fluff.

cw: gn!reader, latine reader word count: 1.2k

When Price first meets your family, it goes over smoother than fucking water over a polished worry stone. It just is. You thought it might go like that, knowing that he’d do practically anything to make himself fit in as seamlessly as possible. But you also knew that bringing home a white guy always comes with a very specific brand of first interactions.

You prep him for the teasing that’s to come, about his accent, about his complexion, about the food he eats. John takes it all in very seriously, nodding along and asking probing questions. It’s all for your benefit, and he’s incredibly mindful of that. You don’t necessarily need to know he’s already got a plan of action, though.

By the time you arrive at the family home, you’re a little stiff, braced for the barrage of probing questions that’s to come. You can tell the family is curious, you see the tías eyeing up and down. But there’s no interrogation this time. Because John beats them to it. He’s polite and answers all the niceties as respectfully as he can. And then he immediately launches into offering up information, as cryptic as it may be. He dons that dimpled smile of his and tells them what he can.

“I’ve been at this job for a while now, but I’m retiring soon. It’s actually my personal life that I'm more invested in improving now.” 

“I’m hoping to buy a home in the very near future. Maybe like this one, a big family place. I’ve been tucking away money for it for a while now.”

“I’ve had to spend a lot of time away, but I’m really looking forward to staying home with this one.”

The tías are swooning when he makes intense eye contact with you across the table as he speaks. He’s not hiding any kind of intentions, from you or them. None of the information is particularly new to you, but hearing him say it out loud? In front of all the people important to you? It’s one thing when it’s quietly discussed in the early hours of the morning. It’s another thing entirely to hear it all said in such a permanent way.

At one point, your godmother, as entrometida as she always is, mentions she’s willing to go shopping with him if he’s ever in need of a ring, says she’s always had a good eye for your style.

“Oh, no. Se lo agradezco, pero ya no va a ser necesario,” he replies with an even bigger smile, and it’s got the women hollering. They’d take a bite out of him if they could. John carries himself with the firm confidence of knowing who he is, and they can see that. They respect it.

The tías, predictably, also do everything they can to keep you two physically apart. You’re put on comal duty, keeping you in the deep corner of the kitchen where he can’t reach you. John himself doesn’t try to reach for you, wanting to spare you the godforsaken “chiflando y aplaudiendo” even at your big age. So he keeps busy by setting the table, asking only where he can find the cups and tableware. They all ooh and aah.

“Ven? Ni se le tuvo que pedir,” they shout at the tíos, pointing at John’s busy hands.

A few questions do pop up once dinner is set. Do you eat this kind of food? Have you had this before? Do you like it? Tíos razz him into adding more and more salsa on his food, and John, knowing full well how it all ends, goes along with it. He’s managed to build up some tolerance that he’s quite proud of, but there is no way that’s saving him. He knows what he’s in for. A single bite and his face turns so red it’s almost purple, his coughing making it hard for him to get water down. The tíos laugh and he’s smiling along with them, the tías rushing to get more water and napkins and a cup of milk because “I heard this helps white people?” You swap his plate out for a new one while they’re all caught up with John, taking a few bites of food to try to match it to the dish he had before. 

A bubble of softness blooms in the room. The tías are cooing over him, consoling him after his “brave attempt.” The tíos take turns patting his back, smiling down proudly at him for having met their challenge. He smiles back at you from across the table, knowing full well what you’ve done to his food, spotting a few more veggies than he’s originally served himself. The tablecloth is long, surely they won’t spot him gently nudging your foot with his own. 

When your godfather invites him out onto the porch for a smoke, John knows it’s his time to shine. He asks you to stay inside with a wink. He brought those Cuban cigars with him for a reason, he’s sure he’ll make it through. You hold him at the door for a second longer, just enough to give him a tender kiss before sending him along. Neither of you missed the way your godfather so clearly recognizes the way John moves, his own military past helping read further into the man you’ve brought home. You know there’s a good chance of this not going perfectly. 

Ignoring the calls from your tías, you crawl to sit below the window that lets out right behind them. They both let out soft grunts as they settle into their chairs, a long hum of appreciation from your godfather clearly signaling John has opened the cigar box for him. It’s silent for a while. The only sounds come from the lighter and their soft exhalations. Then a soft rustling begins. It’s not the trees, it’s too muted for that. It’s not gravel, they aren’t going anywhere and they certainly didn’t make their getting-up grunts. No, it’s their clothes. Because they’ve come up with hand signs on the spot, across languages, so you can’t listen in. 

There’s some chuckling, surely that’s a good sign! But the low sigh coming shortly after isn’t very encouraging. You try to make sense of it somehow, but there’s no distinct rhythm to it. And suddenly you’re twelve again and trying to sneak a peek. You may not need a stool to help you, you’re tall enough to see through the window on your tiptoes. Maybe if you do it slowly, they won’t notice. So slowly it goes, your knees creaking as you inch up. Their rustling continues; good, they haven’t noticed. Yet as stealthy as you try to be, they’re both looking directly at you as you finally get eyes on them. Their smiles all too knowing. You godfather winks at you, clicking his tongue fondly. He holds a hand up before you can say anything, groaning a little as he rises. He takes a beat to look down at John. You’re all frozen for a moment. And then your godfather’s hand comes down firmly on John’s shoulder, giving him a sturdy shake. 

“Me meto antes de que la vieja huela todo este humo,” he says. It’s done. No disaster, just acceptance.

When you turn back to John, he’s already got a mad grin on his face, “See? This old white boy’s still got some moves.”

AN: I am buckled the fuck in for all this latine reader content, so yall will be seeing a whole lot more of it. Thank you again to @mikichko!!! For your support and encouragement, and your incredibly generous feedback. I'm doing this to feed us both.

Let me know if yall wanna see anything with latine reader in particular!!

[satlun]

Best Mistake: John Constantine x fem!reader

Genre: emotional hurt, fluff and angst Trigger warnings: suicide attempt, depression, possessive behavior, supernatural, violence, swear words

It is difficult to tell if the relationship between you and him is truly what you want. You fight, break up, and then make up again and again. Even on little things, you both can just bring it up and end up with fighting almost every time. It is more of a loop, you might say. Every time these things happen, it wrecks you on the inside. Until one day, you cannot stand him anymore because he is too toxic and no good. You need to leave him.

Note: this is my first time writing short fiction in English, English is not my first language so if it sounds wrong/ weird or my grammar is wrong please correct me. I really want to improve my English. So don't be shy to correct me. Plus I think it's kinda CRINGE 😭 but I tried guys so please enjoy 😂 ***It might not make sense about hell thing but it is good to just let it be like that soo please don't take it too serious and enjoy! 🥺

Credit: gifs from Pinterest (cannot find the original post :/) https://pin.it/5fjM23VUA , https://pin.it/54AXo4AMa

Los Angeles, 2005

“Could you stop and listen to me first!?” John said with a sigh of irritation as he grabs your arm firmly while you're packing your bag, ready to leave.

You don't seem to stop what you're doing. This is the last time, it must be. You believe that is for the best. “I’m leaving, John. I mean it.” You said with simple directness.

“You're not going anywhere. Not without me.” The fact that he cannot live without you. He had been alone for almost his whole life before he found you. His life was miserable before you came and fulfill him with something that had never been given. It is just hard for him to just let you go like this even he is still mad at you. He pulls you closer to him because you don't seem to stop packing your stuff. Then you lose your balance and stumble into his chest.

“Yes. Without you.” You replied without any hesitation before pushing yourself away from him. For now, you just hope that you are heartless enough to leave him like you just said. You don't want to stuck in the loop again because it hurts your heart.

“And what about me, huh? Is that what you're going to do it again? Leave me for a few days and then come crawling back to me?” That's why you really hope that your heart is strong enough to leave everything behind. Even John.

“Well, not this time. I’m going back to New York.” New York where your parents live. Maybe leaving this big city and go, go far away from here will make you forget him faster. Far from here as much as you can, to the other side of the country.

That makes him even more unimpressive. He doesn't like the way you're about to leave him and go that far. Far enough to never see you again. He looks at you intensely as he pins you abruptly against the wall behind. “Who do you belong to?” That's the pop quiz of him. Every time you both fight, he brings up this question to remind you who you belong to.

You're tired of this question because it won't make anything better. It just keeps making you annoyed. “Stop asking me this question, John. I'm tired of it, it won't make anything better!” You shouted at his face. “Don't you understand that we don't get along? I tried, John. It’s still the same. Never change...” you try to hold back your tears.

“Just answer the damn question, [y/n].” He still insisted on the same question. “I belong to no one!” You snapped him immediately. Not even in a second you took to answer him. He just looks away with difteen face without saying anything. Before he can do anything further, you push him hard making him stumble backwards. You grab your bag and lead to the door without looking back because you just can't. If you look back, you will definitely walk back to him. It was always like that.

He follows you to the door, before you can reach the knob, he already push you against the door again. Push you hard that you can feel the pain on your back, You groaned in pain. “Fuck off, John... what the fuck is wrong with you!? You are acting like a possessed man. Why? Being an exorcist makes you go insane now?” That the worst thing you have ever said to him.

He can't believe what you said. “Is that it, huh?” He raises his eyebrows as he says back to you. “Now you think I'm possessed? That I'm not in my right goddamn head?” He grabs your collar bone firmly against the door. He uses violence again, that's the part you hate the most. His voice changes in a very unpleasant tone. He is real mad. “Maybe I just want to teach you a damn lesson, and you're making it hard for me.” You look at him right into his eyes. You still remain silent. “What? Cat got your tongue now? Talk back to me. Do it!” Remaining silent makes him even more angry. He pushes you hard against the door again but this time it's just too much for you to handle because your head was slammed on the door as well. Your eyes start to flutter slightly. You almost lost your balance as you try to grab his shoulder. He also grabs your waist for you to stand straight. “You belong to me. Understand? And you're gonna stay here with me.” He demanded you. “Fuck you, John... I belong to no one...” because of the pain of your head made you say so quietly as if you just murmur. You can feel that you are about to lose your consciousness. However, his eyes still fixated on you. “Yeah? Is that so? Say it again.” says in sarcastic voice as he grabs your shoulder and pin you to see your face clearly. He is pissing you off even more, you spits on his face because you can't stand him anymore. “Wrong answer.” He said. You are about to pass out now. Your both hands are on his arms, finding something to hold yourself from falling down as you rest your head on the door like a body without a soul. “You're so goddamn infuriating.” Before he can finish the sentence, you pass out beneath him. He grabs you quickly before you fall on the ground and then carefully picks you up to a dinner table then puts you down on the table. He doesn't even move you to bed, he just lets you lay down right there.

An hour later, your consciousness is back. You slowly get up and look around the room, you are looking for him. That's your first instinct. “John?” You called out his name unintentionally. There's no sign of him. You growl in pain again because your head hurts, both of your hand touching your head. While you're trying to remember about what happened before you passed out, John comes back. He opens the door and walks towards you with something in his hand. He puts the cigarette that is on his mouth down on an ashtray next to you. “Open your mouth. Wide.” He said. You're so confused right now because your consciousness is just got back. “What? What is it?” You look at something on his palm. “Tylenol. Open your mouth.” He demanded. You don't hesitate to open your mouth widely because your head hurts so bad. John puts the medicine in your mouth and pour drinking water after. The Tylenol didn't even reach your throat yet, he grabs the back of your neck and kisses you. One of his hand reaches out to your white shirt and unbuttoned it. You are shocked so you decide to push him away, he stumbles backwards. “What is wrong with you?” You said with confusion while John wipes your saliva off his lips. “You passed out and that what you have to ask?” He said. You don't understand what he is trying to tell. “You made me wait like a goddamn dog, and that's what you ask me?” He was just worried about you so much and it made him pissed. He is the type of guy who doesn't know how to say like a normal lover when he is worried. He just use bad words to express it. “Fuck off, John. Sex has nothing to do with this. Don't even think that you can use sex to bring me back because I don't.” Because you both always use sex as the solution to fix the shit that you both made up. You end up having sex with him and all of your madness goes away like nothing ever happened. “I don't want to have sex with you right now, [y/n]. You just put me through an hour of hell, worrying about your stupid ass.” He walks closer to you with your unbuttoned shirt, showing your cleavage. “What? Then why the hell did you kiss me then? It doesn't make sense.” You said back to him because you know damn well that he just wants to use sex to solve things like he always does. “Because I couldn't help it.” He holds his gaze on you. “I couldn't think about anything other than you being okay, and it pissed me off.” He said with a serious tone. He doesn't seem to be angry anymore except worrying about you. He always knows how to make you come back to him, the way he said that is just make you weaker. You decide to stay silent and listen to him. “Damn you, I'm sick of your bullshit. I'm gonna stay with you.” He insisted. “You pissed off that I might not be okay? You're the one who slammed me and made me pass out, John.” You reminded him that because you just don't understand him even you already tried to. He leans forward and puts both of his hands down on the table aside your legs, he faces you. “You can't handle even a slap without passing out. You're the most fragile thing I've ever met.” You don't get about what he says again, what he is trying to say? "You have no idea what I feel when you pass out like that, how worried I get about you. I swear, sometimes you make me feel like I want to tie you to my goddamn bed and make sure you can't get up!" He says murmured yet quite loudly. You bite your lips because of a little confusion. He is crazy. That's the only thing you can think of right now. Tie you up? That's insane. “What the fuck- You're insane.” You talk back. "Because you're reckless and careless, you give no regard to your own safety, and you're going to die because of it." He says aggressively, looking down at you with his eyes. All you do is keep staring at him because that's just too much for you.

John takes a hard exhale, running his hand through his hair. “We always have fights. That's just how we are. But you need to understand that it's different when you're unconscious and I can't even talk to you.” You can feel the worry through his voice. You know that you are everything to him even you both are in this toxic relationship that you both made. It's like a dilemma. Sometimes, you feel like you can't move forwards but you can't move backwards either. “Don't you understand that you're everything to me? And I’ll go to hell again to keep you alive.” And that was what he brought up. He saved your life once from suicide. He went to hell to bring back your life. That day he didn't hesitate to go to hell just for you. Your tears run down your beautiful face as he said that because of the vision of you being in hell is still remaining clear. John watches your expression as sighs deeply, taking another deep breath before continuing. “And you don't care, do you? Look at us, fighting as always, you passing out on me and me waiting and worrying when you won't wake up like a dog?” He looks down on the floor and murmurs. “Why the hell do we do this to ourselves?” He is blaming ourselves that we always end up fighting even after a little argument. It's how we are , just like he said. It doesn't easy to change in you both relationship.

You're staring at him with teary eyes. You can't hold back anymore. “You know... I’m not gonna last long. You bring me back from hell, that broke the rules. Lucifer will find me and drag me down to hell again. You can't protect me forever. One day, I have to die, John...” John scowls and clenches his fists. “If that bastard Lucifer gets his hands on you again, he will regret the day he ever dared to touch you.” He snapped, his voice cold and filled with rage. “I will not let him take you. I will kill every single demon that comes for you, and I will drag you out of hell every time if you end up there. Even if I have to walk to the pits of hell to find you, I will do it." He touches your hand. “I will do it again.” Your cheeks are full of tears. John slowly wipes out gently. That's why you can't get over him. His soft side is your biggest weakness. “Fuck you! I hate you, John... and I hate myself that I always lie to you that I really hate you...” John pulls you and let you lean on his chest. It is warm as if you're sitting in front of a fireplace after a long rainy day. All you can think about is that he risked his life just to have us here, sitting and fighting each other. The fact that if he couldn't come back in time, he could die in hell as well. “Damn it! You shouldn't have saved me... you should let me die... why did you do that? I shouldn't have fallen in love with you...” that's all you can say to express what you're thinking. He isn't impressed with that.

“Don't ever say that. Don't you dare wish for something like that. I saved you just to hear you say that?” He keeps saying, trying to express things that stuck in his mind because you said as if it was so useless that he saved you. All of it just because you don't want to fall in love with him? “You think I'd ever be happy letting you die, watching you die like that? Because I'd rather tear my own heart out than watch you do that. If you didn't make it, I'd go with you. I'd let Lucifer take me just so I could be with you.” The mixed feelings that are in your heart is just too much to say anything else. You end up pull his shirt abruptly and kiss him passionately. For a moment, you break the kiss and say quietly and slowly to make it very clear to him. “Don't you dare telling me that you would let Lucifer take you so you could be with me.” You squeeze his shirt and pull closer again. “I can't stand that.” One of his hands moving to grab your hip and pull your body against his. “Well, you'll have to deal with it" He mutters "Because I would." against your lips before kissing you again. “Fuck you, John.” John lets out a low moan, his hand moving to the back of your neck. “What if I die tomorrow? What if Lucifer finds me?” You asked. “Then I'll go to hell, get you, and put a bullet in Lucifer's head myself before I drag you back to earth.” John moans softly as he gives in to your kisses. “Say it again.” You whispered “I’ll go to hell and put a bullet in Lucifer's head...” John repeated while his hand moving to the back of your head and gripping your hair as he kisses you deeply. His other hand slides down to your thigh, his touch possessive and hungry as he pulls you close to him, his body craving you completely. “Finish the sentence, John.” you demanded. “And I will drag you back to earth...” He whispers against your mouth, taking another bite of your bottom lip. “Fuck-”

END

Note: I recommend you to read this next click here. It's like a sequel. It's not necessary to read both because you can understand the stories without one another. So up to you!!

.

Note: I just found that False God by Taylor Swift has the lyric that quite relate to the story omg!! Let me show you.

“We were crazy to think. Crazy to think that this could work. Remember how I said I'd die for you?”

“And I can't talk to you when you're like this. Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town. I'm New York City. I still do it for you, babe.”

“I know heaven's a thing. I go there when you touch me. Honey hell is when I fight with you.”

“But we can patch it up good. Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness.”

“But we might just get away with it. Religion's in your lips. Even if it's a false god. We'd still worship.”

“Still worship this love. Even if it's a false god. Even if it's a false god. Still worship this love.”

© satlun, 2024 : DO NOT PLAGIARISM OR ANY OTHER WAY OF REPHRASING

[xxspringmelodyxx]

The Secrets That You Keep

(Gojo Satoru x Reader)

Hello my lovely readers! Long time no see! Last semester of college was actual hell and it will continue to be so for this semester…but anyways enough about me! I wanted to start writing for Jujutsu Kaisen because I am OBSESSED. So I decided to start with a story! Obviously I am an angsty gorl and so I will also be writing a bunch of it…and maybe smut…BUT with that being said, here’s a short little blurb for you before reading the actual thing!

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You have somehow found yourself helping the students at Jujutsu High. You have a special trait about you and that is you have very powerful energy coursing through your veins. How did you get it? Well, later on in the story you will find out that you didn’t get it naturally, no no no. Lets just say you had a pretty messed up life…though even though you had one, you still cope through it and stay strong. However, as you go through your little adventures with everyone, you start to find yourself falling for the one and only, Gojo Satoru. The only issue is will he realize his feelings for you soon enough? Or will he realize it when the clock has stopped ticking??

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Sorry for that shitty blurb. I have no idea how to summarize a story without spoiling it….but please enjoy if you do decide to read it and please let me know what you think! Like I have said before I am open to critique (Not rude, mean comments) but genuine critique as I always want to improve my writing for you all! Anyways, I’m gonna go sleep cause its 4 in the morning….so have fun!

Word count 4.5k

Warnings: a bit of violence?? Other than that none

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I ran like my life depended on it, my breathing increasing rapidly as I tried to escape the curse chasing after me. My view was blurred as I ran through the street, seeing only bits of light shining through the night. The large creature hurled towards me, screeching and clawing through the pavement. I looked around and tried to find different paths that I could take, seeing which one could get me out of the situation fast.

The night was cold and it was hard for me to keep warm while running. Clouds of air escaped out of my mouth as I continued to sprint away. There were a few paths that I could’ve taken, but it would’ve resulted in me having to fight the creature in the end. Something that I was trying to avoid.

Unfortunately for me, I took notice of a stone wall coming up quickly. Seeing as there was no other way out, I mentally cursed myself for not paying closer attention. It seems there were only two options left. Either I die here and now…or I fight back. Damn it! Why did it have to be now!

“Seems you need my help….” A voice spoke inside of my head. I quickly shook her off, trying to see if there was any other way out of this. I don’t need to deal with her right now. Desperately trying to find a way out, I saw a small opening right in the upcoming stone wall.

Bingo.

I pushed my foot further into the ground, forcing me to go all out. My body slowly began to glow a light blue hue as heat left my body. All I needed was to get through that small hole and I would be fine. If anything, it should block off the creature…at least I hope. Suddenly, a voice came back to my consciousness, talking with grace, yet also with demand.

“Do not resist me. There is no other way out and you know it. You would be foolish not to let me help.” The voice spoke once more. I smirked, rolling my eyes.

“Are you kidding me? After what happened last time I let you out, there is no way I am letting that happen again!” I yelled out loud, panting after each sentence.

“I did what I had to. You would’ve died if not for me.” She said, her voice becoming louder in my head.

My head started to throb, slowing me down a bit. She was trying to take over my body, I could feel it. Though, I shook her off once more, pulling her further back into my mind.

“No! I won’t let you help this time! I can find a way out without your help! You’ll end up ruining more than needed. I can’t afford to pay off any more damages due to you.” I said, gaining my full consciousness back. However, just as I was about to start my sprint again, I was pushed forward. I fell to my stomach, scrapping my arms and legs.

I whipped my head around, seeing the large, Smokey creature running after me. My eyes widened a bit as I watched its large body getting closer and closer to me. It looked like any horror movie, except this…this was real life.

I jumped up from the black pavement and quickly landed on my feet. I knew I wouldn’t get far if I didn’t fight back. I knew what I needed to do.

I stomped my foot on the ground, causing large chunks of rock to come out of the ground. I pushed my hands close together, allowing the rocks to circle around me rapidly. My senses were heightened as I listened to and felt my surroundings. The rocks were now circling around me with great speed that once released onto something, or someone for that matter, they would be impaled due to the force being applied.

I quickly used my left foot to kick one of the rocks towards the creature, hitting it right between its body. The rock, although small compared to the creature, did some damage to it. I used my other foot to kick another rock towards it, slicing right through its upper arm. Loud screeches were heard throughout the whole area, echoes that could be heard miles away.

I then began to kick each rock out of orbit and into the creature's body, trying to stop it from running towards me. I saved the largest rock for last, waiting for the right moment, waiting for it to gain enough momentum. Once I knew it was time, I calmed my breathing down and swiftly moved my fist towards the rock, hitting it with such force that a large dust cloud formed right behind the rock before moving towards the creature. I watched as the rock pierced right through the beast's head, splitting it into two.

The large, black beast groaned a bit, almost sounding like a low creaky door, as it slowly lost all feeling and control in its body. It began to slowly fall over, the smoke around it slowly dissipating into thin air. My eyes connected with the creature's eyes, not releasing the contact at all. I watched as its eyes closed, signifying its death and making me release my breath, a puff of air showing.

I placed my hands in my pockets and began to walk in the direction towards the creature. That was until I heard someone crying in the opposite direction. I turned my head towards the sound, trying to find the source. I saw a bush shuffle around, and although it was a bit windy, this bush was moving due to someone behind it. The cry sounded like it was coming from a child.

I calmly walked up to the shaking bush and carefully pushed some of the branches away, seeing a small child shaking. My eyes softened as I saw the poor boy shivering from the cold. I held out my hand to him, but he just moved back farther into the leaves.

“Leave him, he is a waste of our time.” The voice spoke up once again. I shushed her, forcing her away once more.

I then knelt down to the little boy, smiling softly at him.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid of me. I promise I won’t hurt you.” You said softly to him, trying not to scare the poor thing.

He didn’t say anything, however. He just continued to shake, tears forming in his eyes. He reminded you of your younger sister now that you think of it. You remember finding her in a situation such as this. She was terrified because she had just witnessed the first cursed creature in her life. Thankfully, you were there to save her, but just barely. She was in the same state as the boy, terrified and confused.

“I know you are confused…and probably horrified about what just happened. But I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I would never do anything to hurt you. I know it’s hard, but I need you to trust me alright?” I spoke to him.

I held out my hand, hoping that he would come out so I could help him.

“I-I want my mommy” He whimpered, making my heart ache.

“I can help you find her. What does she look like?” I asked.

“S-She has long brown hair and green eyes. She also has a scar on her eye from when our cat scratched her.” He said, slowly coming out of his shell.

“Okay, I can work with that. Do you want to come with me and we can go find her together? If not, you are more than welcome to stay here until I find her.” I said

He shook his head and held his hands out as he grabbed onto my finger. His hands were ice cold.

“You’re freezing! Here, take my jacket, that should warm you up while we try to find your mom.” I said, wrapping my jacket around him, picking him up. He was obviously too tired to do much, after all, he did sit out in the cold for who knows how long. He cozied up into me, trying to find warmth again.

I began to walk, figuring out where to start first. We were basically in the middle of nowhere and so I didn’t have a lot to start out with. However, just as I made the decision to head north, I was quickly interrupted by a male voice.

“Hey there.” he said, appearing out of nowhere. I shrieked a bit, tripping over my own feet and almost falling. The man grabbed my arm, pulling me back to my feet before I actually made impact with the ground. As he did that, I got a good look at him and noticed his white hair that was pushed back due to the blindfold wrapped around his head. Odd

He was very tall as well and had very fair skin.

“Thank you.” Was all I could muster to say.

He didn’t say anything back however, he just stared at me with…intrigue? Confusion? Happiness? I couldn’t tell. Man, grandma wasn’t kidding when she told me I needed to improve my understanding of people’s body language.

He looked behind me and saw the dead creature on the ground, slowly evaporating into the sky. He then looked back at me through his blindfold and smirked.

“How’d you do it?” He asked out of nowhere.

“Do what?” I asked, confused

“How’d you kill the creature, dumbass.” the voice inside my head said, making me wince a bit.

“Ms. Lady….are we closer to…finding my…mama?” The boy asked, growing tired with every passing second. He looked up to see the strange man standing above us.

“Ms. Lady, this is not my mama. My mama was pretty…he looks scary.” The boy said, gaining the white haired males attention.

“I’m not that scary, am I? Come on, look at me!” He said playfully, but the boy just cuddled in closer to you, ignoring the man.

“Listen, I’m sorry, but I need to go. I need to help this kid find his parent. Now, if you will excuse me-“

Before you could finish your sentence, you three felt a powerful vibration run throughout the area. The man grabbed onto you two and held you to protect you from any danger, but after a good 20 seconds of the strong sensation, it stopped. You two looked up at each other before turning your heads towards the creature.

The shadows that were slowly going away began to quickly run back into the creature, breathing life back into it. The beast slowly got up, growling as it regained its consciousness. It took one deep breath and screeched as loud as it could towards us.

The male swiftly moved away, taking me and the child out of harms way.

“You two stay here. Ill handle this.” He said

“Are you sure?” I asked, making him stop in his tracks. He turned around towards me with a genuine smile.

“Yeah, I got this. After all, you are talking to the best of the be-“ But before he could finish his statement, a large blast of dark energy shot right towards him, forcing a gasp through my mouth.

I quickly ran and hid the child. He was a crying and shuddering mess, but I tried to calm him down. I knelt down to him once more and placed my hand on his head.

“Look at me. Everything will be okay. Alright? I won’t let it come anywhere near you. I promise I won’t let it hurt you. But I need you to be quiet and calm, okay? Can you do that for me?” I asked sternly. The boy looked up at me with tearful eyes, but quietly nodded, holding onto my jacket for dear life.

I smiled down at him, standing back up to my feet.

“good boy. Ill be back. Just give me a little time, alright?” I asked, running back towards the creature.

It’s back was facing me, so naturally, I took the opportunity to strike. I slammed my foot into the ground once more, causing a large crack to pass through the ground. It made its way towards the creature and surrounded it. I interlocked my fingers together and forced them downwards, causing the ground the creature was standing on to sink many feet into the ground. I then pulled my hands away and crossed my arms together, forcing the sides of the hole to collide together. The ground smushed the beast into a gooey texture, but it still wasn’t enough. It seeped through the ground and back up to the surface. It ran towards me and before I could react, it struck me in the side, pushing me towards a stone wall. Before my body could slam into it, however, a pair of arms wrapped around me and protected me from hitting the wall.

I opened my eyes to be met with….The strange man again.

“What the hell? But you-I saw-how did-“

He smirked down at me, amused by my confusion on how the hell did he survive that blast.

“Like I said, you’ve got the best of the best on your side.” He said, placing you down, looking towards the creature.

“Sit tight, and watch the master play his cards.” He spoke before dashing towards the beast.

“I don’t like him.” the voice called out to you, making your head pound again.

“Shut up, you don’t even know him yet.” I argued, groaning as I could feel myself slowly lose my control.

“No! Do not take over right now! You have no right!” I yelled, gripping my hair. My body was tired from the activity I had, making it more difficult to force her back into my head.

“Why don’t we show this guy who truly is the best~” The voice said. My eyes started to glow bright white. Golden cracks began to form on my skin, light seeping through them.

“No! I will not tolerate this! You can’t just use my body whenever you want to prove a point!” I said, slowly falling asleep.

“Uhm…actually, I can.” She said, forcing me to fall asleep so that she can take over.

“And I will…” She said with yours and her voice mixed together. She looked down at your body, seeing the bruises and scratches from previous fights.

She looked up and saw the mysterious white haired male going at it. He was smirking through the whole thing.

“Has he no humility? Does he truly think he is that great? Well…then I suppose I should show him just how good he is, compared to me.” She said, quickly getting up and storming towards the shadowy creature. She moved at light speed towards it, a golden trail following behind her.

The mysterious male saw this and was confused at first…but then became intrigued very quickly.

He watched as your figure formed a pure white sword with golden lining around it. He saw you jump high in the air and slash it through all the “sensitive” areas of the beast. He had to admit, you were…impressive to say the least. Not as good as him of course, but maybe better than Nanami. He continued to watch you and see how effortlessly you fought. The way you used your sword as if it was your own arm, the way you ran faster than light, the way you were so determined to finish the creature once and for all…all of it caught the white haired man's attention. He watched as you ran right through the creature, shredding it to bits. Your body stopped in the ground, causing the ground to shake a bit. The creature began to form once again, making “you” smirk.

“A low life beast thinks it can take on me? Hmmmm, how very interesting.” Your voice said. You then did something that even caught the mysterious man off guard, but just for a split second of course. You dropped your sword, letting it disintegrate into tiny particles which soon surrounded you. You followed that up with placing your hands towards the center of your chest, lining your palms together, one hand facing up, the other facing down. This allowed the particles to circle around your chest area, spinning with such speed that it was beginning to look like one big circle. You then slid the upside down hand up, aligning your fingers perfectly together. Your hair started to float in the air as if gravity was non-existent. Your body began to float as well, and the cracks in your body started to emit a brighter light than there was before

The creature didn’t wait, however. It began to run towards you, dead-set on killing you. It snarled loudly, rampaging towards you with great speed.

You, however, just watched it run towards you with a sinister smile.

“run, run beast. For I will be the last thing you see before my power swallows you whole.” You said, the wind picking up around the entire area. It was so strong that the trees began to push away from you, practically bending a full 180 degrees, breaking and cracking off of their stumps. Dust devils began to form as well. You used these and pushed them towards the beast, pushing it away and twisting it around.

Finally, you swung your arms around, allowing the particles to push you further up in the sky to get a better view.

You looked down at the beast and smirked one last time before crossing your arms together. The particles began to grow larger and larger as they combined with one another.

“Good riddance, you foul beast!” You yelled, releasing all the energy you had and forcing it down towards the creature. It screeched as the light penetrated through its body, not missing one spot of darkness. Wails from the beast were all that was heard. Hundreds of miles away, you could still hear it. The light blast from your body was so bright that it looked like it was day time at 1 in the morning.

After the light diminished, the night came back once more, just as it should have.

She smiled down at the large pot hole in the ground that she created. Suddenly, she started to lose control as you began to awaken.

“Awe come on, Y/n! I barely got to play!” She said.

“You’ve done enough!” You said, fighting over your body. She rolled her eyes, smirking with a scoff.

“Fine, just don’t be mad at me when you wake up in the air.” She said, going back to sleep. Soon, your body turned back to normal, but there were cuts and bruises from when your other side took over.

The mysterious man watched as your body fell limp. You began to fall down towards the ground. A part of him wanted to see if you would save yourself…but he didn’t want to risk the paperwork…so he jumped off the hill he was watching you on and lunged towards you. He grabbed your body once more and the both of you landed safely on the ground.

When the man got a good look at you, he realized you were asleep.

-Time skip-

You woke up with a pounding headache and sore body. You looked around and saw that you were in the same place you blacked out in.

“Good morning sleepy head.” A familiar voice spoke out to you. You quickly got up and saw the strange man sitting on a bench, watching you.

“Have you just been sitting there waiting for me to get up?” I questioned, making him nod his head, keeping his smile.

“I couldn’t just leave you here alone now could I? What kind of sorcerer would I be then?” He said.

Suddenly, I remembered about the little boy, trying to look for him.

“Relax. The boy is back with his mother. I took him to her when you were passed out. Did you know you snore a little when you sleep by the way? It’s kind of adorable. You looked like a little kitten when you slept.” He teased, making you stare at him with confusion.

“Allow me to introduce myself.” He said, walking towards you, offering you a hand to help you up. You took it and stood to your feet, waiting for him.

“I am Gojo Satoru. Some know me as the strongest or the best sorcerer.” He said, smiling down at you.

“L/n Y/n.” You said softly.

“Well L/n…you certainly were something last night. It was truly amazing to watch you destroy that cursed creature.” He said.

“T-thank you.” Was all you could muster up to say.

“Listen Y/n…What I saw last night was, well, amazing. You could truly be beneficial to our group.” He asked

“Group? What are you implying?” I asked, making him smirk.

“Why don’t I just show you?” He said, turning on his heel and walking away from you. You took that as a sign to start following him, quickly catching up to his distance.

-some time later-

Satoru and you ended up in a beautiful area. There was so much greenery, which boosted your mood compared to before. All together, it looked like Satoru was taking you to a place that was sacred. A place that you had never seen before. He stopped abruptly, almost making you bump into him. He turned around and placed his arm out to show you where you were.

“This is Tokyo Jujutsu High. A place where people come in to learn and train their abilities. And considering your stance in training, I think you could be a wonderful asset to our kids.” He said, watching you stare at the place in awe.

However, when he said the name, you quickly snapped out of it and asked him to repeat the name. It sounded so familiar….yet you couldn’t come up with a reason as to why….though before you could figure out why you remembered the name, you were interrupted by a group of people coming towards you.

Satoru glanced behind you, making a puzzled sound.

“Ah, good! You are all here! Kids….Id like you to meet a new teacher!” He said, pointing to you, making your body stiffen.

“What? I didn’t agree to that!” You spoke to him, making him smirk.

“Oh trust me! It will be fun! You will love it…plus, you get to fight quite often! And based off of how you preformed last night, I’d say that is to your liking.” He said, making the voice cheer in your head.

“Y/n?” That familiar voice called out to you, making you turn around. And that’s when it hit you. That’s why this name was so familiar.

“Nobara!” You said happily as you two ran to each other and hugged.

It was Satoru’s turn to be confused.

“You two know each other?” he asked, making Nobara smile.

“We are sisters!” She said, making the group around you surprised.

You two looked nothing like each other…not to mention you two didn’t have the same last name.

“Adopted sisters.” You said, taking notice of their confusion.

“Oh it is so good to see you again- what happened to your body! Why is it all banged up! Was this “her” doing?” She asked, making you smile awkwardly

“Maybe. She just got too caught up in the heat of the moment.” You said.

Satoru stared at you with confusion, unsure of what you’re saying.

You turned around and gave him an apologetic smile, knowing fully well what was on his mind.

“There’s a lot I have to explain….especially now that you’re forcing me to become a teacher here….” You said, slightly glaring at the blindfolded man in front of you. Suddenly, the man lost the confused face and replaced it with one of amusement.

“Oh but it will be so fun! And you and I can finally hang out and travel all over Tokyo!” Nobara said, making you smile.

“I guess it won’t be too bad…though don’t expect much…I literally have no experience in training so this is going to be a trial and error situation.” You responded.

You all went through introductions afterwards and decided to go out to eat. The boy who had salmon/pink hair named Yuuji Itadori said he wanted to eat at the place that has sushi on a rotating belt where you can just grab whatever sushi you want off the conveyor belt. But your sister argued with him that it is unsanitary and that they should all go to a fancy sushi restaurant. You were honestly on Itadori’s side. It sounded so fun to do that…but at the same time….Nobara is your sister. And when she wants something…most of the time she may get it. They kept arguing about it and it was getting on your nerves…but you tried to suppress it. The voice, however, was ready to rip their heads off.

“Can I please smack them?” She asked in your head.

“No! Now go back to sleep!”

“But I can tell you are annoyed with them as well. One hit is all it takes!”

“Absolutely not! Now go away!” You said in your head, glaring at the sky.

Satoru caught this and teased you a bit.

“What, mad that you can’t see your forehead?” He said, making you stare up at him with confusion.

“Oh…you were talking about me staring up at the sky…” You said, not sure what else to say.

He snickered, “Yes, that is exactly what I was talking about.” He said

“Oh brother, who does this guy think he is? Teasing you! Does he think he is funny?” The voice said

“Would you shut up!” You said, out loud this time.

Everyone looked at you, making you mentally slap yourself in the face.

“Sorry…I-“

“No worries, N/n! Itadori was annoying huh?” Your sister teased, irritating the salmon haired boy.

“Me! You were the one going on and on about how unsanitary everything is!” He complained. You finally had enough and decided to interrupt them both.

“How about we go to this nice restaurant I’ve heard about. They do the conveyor belts, but they can also directly serve the sushi to you if you don’t want to eat it off of that. Plus I hear they have some of the best desserts and snacks there.” You suggested

Everyone agreed and soon you all headed off to that restaurant, though you had to separate Itadori and Nobara because they were after each other's heads.

You sighed, but smiled a bit at these two. This was going to be a long school year.

-??? POV-

“You are sure it is her?” A gruff male voice said.

“yes, sir. She is with a group of people as we speak. Do you want me to go in and finish business?” The younger male said.

“No…not yet. I need to come up with a plan to get her back. She is very powerful when aggravated…you would die if you did so. It's best to just come back. We will begin our plan. And soon…everything will be back to normal…just how you wanted it.” The gruff voice said

“Understood. I will be ready whenever you are ready. I only hope that we can do this soon. I don’t want to fail you, sir.” the younger voice said.

“You won’t so long as you keep doing what I tell you to. Now come back. We have work to do.” The gruff voice said, hanging up.

The younger boy looked at you with the others, conversing with one another. His jaw tensed up and his fists clenched together as he saw you.

“Soon, everything will be back to the way it was.” He said shortly before leaving into the shadows.

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Tag list??

[haesunflower]

thank the stars | royalty au with ricky

(written in the stars final chapter)

✩ chapter 1, chapter 2 , chapter 3 ✩

genre: romance, angst

pairing: princess reader x prince ricky

about/tags: your life changes, and suddenly you have to rule Astoria. Ricky lets you know he'll always be there for you – and he means it. (2.6k+ words)

y/n is a princess, death, grief/mourning, i cried while writing this

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

Your brother can barely stay awake nowadays. And for that reason, you visit him everyday, bringing with you stories about your day and sharing the little adventures you and Ricky have. You know what’s coming, in fact, everyone in the palace does. All hope seems to have gone as the days go by without any semblance of improvement on the Crown Prince Hanbin’s health. And while you try to mentally prepare for the loss of your brother, you don’t want to. 

“Sister, are you going to keep bothering me everyday like this?” Even in his condition, Hanbin finds a way to make light of the situation. You smile, just to humor him and decide to banter back. 

“In all honesty brother, it’s you that’s a nuisance. Please get better so I no longer have to deal with your astronomical amounts of paperwork”. This time, he’s the one that smiles, somberly. “How is that, by the way? Preparing to rule?” while the conversation had gotten more serious, you don’t blame him for asking. He knows his time will come to an end soon. 

“I’m terrified everyday...I’m…I’m not as great as you are, brother. I’m severely underprepared and extremely overwhelmed. And the only good thing in my life right now, well, I don’t even know if he’ll stay. He too, has a kingdom to look after.”

You drop your head down to his bed, letting choked sobs out. You’ve never said these things out loud to anyone. On a personal note, you are not even aware of what is more terrifying – ruling the country unprepared, losing your brother, never getting the chance to love Ricky. You suppose you’re crying about all three. 

Hanbin feels terrible at the sight of his youngest sister. You’re right next to him, but he doesn’t even have the energy to sit up and wipe your tears away.  “I’m sorry, Y/N….” is all he can say. He too, lets a few tears roll past his eyes. 

After a few minutes of quiet sobs, you take his hands in yours to say “It’s not your fault Hanbin. I’ll make you proud, I promise.” You notice the tears that have stained his velvet pillow, and bring up a handkerchief to wipe away at the remaining streaks on his face. The last thing he says to you is “I never doubted you for a moment, sister. You’ll achieve great things as Astoria’s Queen.”

With the confidence that your brother instills in you, you decide that it’s time to let Ricky know the truth. Your new duty is to be a proud leader of your country – to make Hanbin proud, to continue the line of succession of your parents, and to be a Queen to the people. You plan to tell him all of that tomorrow. 

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

Your plan fails, because Hanbin summoned crown prince Quanrui to visit his chambers that evening. Ricky crosses paths with the King and Queen as they exit Hanbin’s chambers. The crown prince of Solaria bows respectfully, and the Queen of Astoria gently places her hands on his shoulders. 

“Don’t be too alarmed with his state. Right now, treat him as you would normally do – he needs a friend.” Ricky is confused by the Queen’s statement, but nods anyway. 

Despite the warning, Prince Quanrui gets the shock of his life when he first sees Hanbin. While his family may be used to his symptoms, others might not be. He is much smaller now with graying skin. His hair sticks to his forehead from the layer of sweat that covers his body. He also coughs out blood every now and then, and his voice is so small and hoarse, it’s hard to listen to. 

“Ah, my dear friend. Come sit.” Hanbin chokes out.

Ricky doesn’t know what to say, as all this time he had thought Hanbin had been on an expedition or managing diplomatic affairs in other countries. He had no idea his dear friend had been in the castle, slowly rotting away. To be fair, it was a well kept secret. 

“Why was I not informed, Hanbin? Did you nor Y/N not care to tell me?” Ricky is trying not to sound too betrayed. Not when Hanbin is looking at him apologetically. “No one knows about my sickness, only my family and the royal staff. And I wanted to keep it that way for a while…” Hanbin trails off as he welcomes a fit of coughs. 

“Ricky, the truth is I’m not going to get any better. This is the end of the line for me.” Ricky is studying his friend’s face and he finds no hint of sadness, rather, acceptance of his fate. Ricky doesn't know how to react to that statement. So, he places his hands against his mouth, contemplating on what to tell Hanbin. 

“It’s a lot to take in, I know. But, I need to ask you one last thing before I am unable to” more coughs erupt from Hanbin, and Ricky patiently waits for him to speak again. “It’s about Y/N…she’s so terrified, Ricky. Will you take care of her when I’m gone?” 

On the outside, it’s a simple question. For royals however, it brings about a million implications. What Hanbin really wants to ask is Will you stay with her here once I am gone? Will you give up being the King of Solaria for Y/N? Will you continue to promise to love her until the end of time? 

“Wherever she may be, I will be standing right next to her. Always.”

With that response, Hanbin nods in satisfaction. Both Hanbin and Ricky remember a time when they were young boys, sparring in the courtyard. One of their many wagers had been your hand in marriage. If Ricky could beat Hanbin, he’d let him marry his sister. When that was on the line, Ricky had never lost to Hanbin, not even once.

“I’m grateful to have known you, Ricky. Take care, my friend.” Hanbin musters up all his energy to reach out his hand for Ricky to take in a handshake. And although it is out of character for Ricky, he puts Hanbin’s arm down and instead envelopes him in a hug. 

“I’ll miss you, dear friend. Save me a sparring session up there, maybe you’ll be able to beat me by then.” Hanbin and Ricky laugh. 

That night, as Ricky leaves Hanbin’s chambers, he understands why you desperately kept asking him to wait for you. Why you cling to him like it’s the last time you are able to. And why it seems like you love him back, but cannot seem to verbalize it in any way. 

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

The next time your family is complete is during the funeral of the late prince Hanbin. Though you wouldn’t consider your family to be complete ever again, not with the loss of your brother. The palace was opened to the public, and it seemed like the whole kingdom was in attendance. The service was beautiful. Your sister and royal knight Jiwoong even traveled back to Astoria. And despite all that has happened, you enveloped each other in a hug the moment you saw each other. You both cried for what seemed like days. 

Naturally, the whole kingdom mourns. The palace is extremely somber, and the nights feel longer and colder. A lot of Astoria folk find themselves gazing up at the newly formed constellation – a discovery you made the night your brother died. You named the stars after him, of course. 

You’re at the observatory with Ricky again as you go through old portraits of your families together. You laugh at the stiff royal paintings that feature all the Astoria and Solaria children. You share childhood memories of Hanbin together, and exchange kind words about him. In the end, you are grateful to have been his younger sister – to have learned what it meant to be a leader directly from growing up with him. 

You do not want to have this type of conversation with Ricky, but you feel that it is the responsible thing to do. As rulers of your own respective kingdoms. 

“I fear I’ll never measure up to him” you admit. “I’m more than terrified, I fear I’ll be a disappointment to my people, my family, to him” your voice is shaking, and you close the trunk that’s filled with portraits and childhood memories. 

“Y/N listen..” Ricky takes both your hands in his, forcing you to look him in the eye. “You are the most intelligent and passionate person I know. You are selfless, kind, and beautiful inside and out. The people of Astoria do not know you the way I do, not yet at least. Let them see you for who you are, and everything will come into place. I am sure you will rule greatly, I’m confident that you will.” 

Ricky smiles mischievously before he adds “and again, your only flaw is that you are terribly unfunny.” you smile, you will miss his candor when he returns home. “And if it’s any consolation, I’m here. You can always rely on me.” 

Your brows furrow, and you remove your hands from his when you say “but that is the issue, Ricky. You cannot be here forever. You are bound to return to Solaria eventually, I am positive that your family has been missing their crown prince”

Prince Quanrui has been away from home for almost 9 months. You are unaware of this passage of time, having been busy with your crown princess education and the loss of your brother. And in between all the responsibilities and chaos, you cannot count the amount of times you found solace in the warm embrace and soft kisses of Prince Quanrui.

“I do not need to return to Solaria, only if you command me to do so, my Y/N”. He smiles, and you cannot tell if he is being serious.

“Ricky, you do realize that I cannot command you to do anything as we are of the same royal stature, we’re equals now as in line to the throne, remember?” 

“And that is where you are severely mistaken.” Your lips pout in confusion, and you look at him expecting an explanation “I’ve long withdrawn my eligibility to the crown in Solaria. Prince Gyuvin is the crown prince now.  

Your younger half brother? you thought. “B-but why? And do not say something foolish, do not say it is because you love me”

“But that is my answer.”

“You love me enough to abandon your kingdom? Your people, your subjects, your family. Ricky you’ve been trained your whole life to rule Solaria – and you’re going to just leave? Just like that?” You honestly do not know what kind of answer you are searching for. Perhaps it is validation you seek, that someone is capable of loving you so greatly to put you first.

“I would abandon all duty for you.”

Oh. You think. Love, so it is capable of being that easy. 

You are so emotionally moved by this declaration. How easy it is for Ricky to just choose love above all things. How Ricky patiently waited for you, just like you asked. How he didn’t ask any questions when you told him you would be next in line for the throne. How that would mean that he cannot marry you and make you his queen in Solaria. How he would rather withdraw his position just to be closer to you, here, in Astoria. How that is exactly what he did, as he wrote his letter to the King and Queen of Solaria shortly after his last conversation with Hanbin.

“Y/N, you and I both know my heart has always been here with you in Astoria anyway.”

You move closer to him and desperately envelope him in a tight embrace. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, like the very first night he kissed you. He’s a little taken aback, but reciprocates almost immediately. Your touch evokes more words that you could ever utter – feelings of love, gratefulness, relief, above all, happiness. 

When Ricky kissed you that night, you understood that this was exactly how it was meant to be all along. As if the very act of loving you is his duty itself.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

The royal wedding of the Crown Princess of Astoria happens a year after Hanbin’s death. Prince Ricky, who will soon gain the title of Royal Prince of Astoria, stands proudly in the garden of stars. Like you, he’s dressed in all white. Your wedding ceremony is fully decorated with red roses, personally delivered by the King and Queen of Solaria.

As you walk down the aisle, your long jeweled dress flows against the gentle breeze of the night sky. Ricky is smiling, the biggest you’ve ever seen – even as he is under a plethora of constellations, he thinks you’re the most beautiful star tonight.

His parents, the King and Queen of Solaria, watch him as he looks at you. And his mother gives his son a genuine smile in return, before whispering something to her husband (if i’m not mistaken, along the lines of ‘he’s happy here’). Meanwhile, the crown prince Gyuvin snickers and tries to hold back his laughter at how lovesick his brother looks. 

Your sister sits proudly in the second row with King Hao of Mariposa by her side. She gives you a small wave, smiling brightly. Next to her, Hao is clapping, nodding gently towards you. Your sister reaches out to give a supportive squeeze to his shoulder, and he takes her hand in his. Throughout the ceremony, your sister and King Hao hold hands. He doesn’t feel pain anymore. Knight Jiwoong is also close by, watching over little Yujin and Yeseo. But sometimes, he cannot help but glance at the way his Queen and the King of Mariposa intertwine fingers.  

Your father hands you off to walk on your own. And as he takes his seat next to your mother, they smile at each other. Your mother takes his hand in hers comfortingly, as tears threaten to spill from both their eyes. 

When you reach him at the end of the aisle, he takes your hand, ungloves it, and presses a kiss. Everything feels right as you share your first kiss as a married pair. You have no coherent thoughts as he presses his warm lips against yours, the same passion and electricity pulses through you as he kisses you deeper. He cuts it short, out of respect for the audience, and you giggle a little when he whispers “more of that later” 

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

After the wedding ceremony and the consummation of your marriage – you and Ricky find yourselves lying peacefully in bed. The moonlight enters your bedchamber and lands beautifully on his platinum hair. You watch as Ricky’s bare chest rises and falls, his breathing steady – a sure indicator that he has fallen into deep slumber. So you inch yourself closer to him, caressing his cheek with the back of your hand oh so delicately.

But he isn’t exactly asleep, and in response, he pulls you towards him even more. Your face is safely tucked into his chest, his arm is draped around your waist, and your legs have since intertwined into a tangled mess. 

“Thank you for waiting for me. I love you.” You whisper. You mean it.

He hums, opening his eyes to check on you. This time, your eyes are closed as you settle in a comfortable position, nuzzled into him. He pats through your hair softly, before turning to the side to look at the window where Hanbin’s constellation shines brightly. 

Then, he thanks the stars for the existence of his Y/N.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

A/N: i cried guys, real tears

what do we think about the ending for all characters?

✩ chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3✩ ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

taglist: @en-ct @honghongbri @beomibeom @jiaant11 @ohdudedhesflirting (and tagging other people that left comments on other chapters @cherriegyu @annoyingbitch83 @missuszabini @aleinasstuff @wtfhyuck @zhanghrt @flwrinn @xiaoting999 @xmxcris @seokmthw @kyrjnie @dimplewonie @leoonoa @shiningstar-byulxx @wonbokkies) @kflixnet

-> join my taglist so you don't miss out!

[oddballwriter]

Cash Only

Summary: You and Jake decide to spice up your sex life with some roleplay involving you being a client and him being a stripper that you paid for a private session.

Warnings: First of all, SMUT. Stripper/client roleplay, roleplay, character penetration, cross-dressing (kinda? if you squint). The reader's gender and pronouns are never stated or mentioned, nor is their actual sexual anatomy said outright but they do penetrate Jake so you can envision it as either being a strap-on or a dick, whichever is needed for you. Jake does call the reader 'papi' and it's mentioned that they are wearing a suit as well. Unprotected sex (always wear protection). Solicitation??? Idk if it's solicitation when it's in the context of a stripper/client roleplay between a couple.

Author’s Snip: Here's the Jake part to my little idea of roleplay with the moon boys where they're in the submissive roles. I'm still trying to think of something for Marc so again, if you have any ideas just shoot them at me.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 1,349

“Are you done yet?” you call out to Jake from your spot on the couch. “Gimme another minute!” he responds from the bathroom, “Don’t rush perfection,” he says as a means of thinking out loud but also as a lighthearted tease. “You’re already hot. Why not just come out so we can get the show going already?” you question. “I wanna be real sexy if I’m gonna give you a show,” Jake answers. You hum at his reasoning.

“What do you want me to call you?” Jake asks. “Call me whatever you want, sugar.” you taunt.

After another beat, you hear footsteps come towards you from behind and when Jake makes the turn to reveal his outfit, shocked positively is one word you could use to describe it. There Jake was, wearing nothing but a pair of short brief style bottoms that seemed to be made of a fancy black fabric that did cover up the important bits but still didn’t leave anything up for imagination, paired with stockings and garterbelt, and some heels. Where he got all this is a mystery to you but you knew you had to give him credit for going all out with his role. 

“Are you the one who paid for a private session?” Jake asks in a sultry tone, doing his character. You clear your throat and get into yours, loosening your tie to release the heat quickly radiating off your body,  “Yes I am.” you say with some confidence. “I hope I’m not too much for you. You seem a bit nervous, papi.” Jake teases. “Oh, not at all. Why don’t you come over here and have a seat so I can get a closer look at you, sugar.” you pat your lap. Jake’s smile twitches with a gush at the name before walking over and taking his assigned seat, wrapping his arms around your neck. “Oh wow,” you gawk, “You’re a pretty one.” you coo. “I bet you’ve got a whole line of clients waiting for you after me. Huh?” you hum as you put a hand on Jake’s waist and the other on his thigh. 

He tuts and brushes your hands away, “No touching. Those are the rules.”. You playfully roll your eyes with a scoff, “Come on. I’m not doing anything.” you argue. “Well, unless you’re willing to pay a bit extra no touching the display.” Jake comments. You give him a smirk and pull out a twenty-dollar bill from your suit pocket. You knew Jake was expecting you to find some other way to keep your hands on him, but you thought it would be funny to actually pay for it, and the brief widening of his eyes and the falter of his mouth, as he tries not to let out a laugh, shows that it wasn’t in vain. Jake recollects himself and takes to twenty, tucking it into his garterbelt, “Okay, but no touching the main bits.” he falsely warns, you just nod in compliance, for now.

You spend a moment improv speaking like a rich client. That’s not the important part, the important part that you’ve been doing with the talking is caressing Jake’s waist and thighs, working lower to his hips and a bit of his ass and more into his inner thigh to butter him up, keeping to the fake rules set up. It’s not too hard and Jake was already hard from all the sweet talking and coming in to start the roleplay. You’ve also been coaxing Jake’s position from simply sitting on your lap to straddling you. 

“Hey,” Jake warns as he pushes on your chest but you move your hands to his hips to keep him in place. “What? I like you better in this position,” you smirk. “I know what you’re trying to do,” Jake says as he clearly fakes trying to get off of you. You pull him back, causing his erection to rub against you and earn a stifled moan. “Come on, sugar. How much do I gotta pay for it?” you taunt as you squeeze his ass. “How much do you got in that pocket?” he taunts in a breathy voice. “How about a hundred for a good ride and you keep calling me by that little nickname you’ve been saying?” you say as you pull out the dollar bill. “Whatever you want, papi~” he growls. 

You smile and start tearing off his bottoms to get to business. You might be playing a client with a stripper but you aren’t going to be like them and not have something to help it go down, so you pull out a mini bottle of lube from one of your other pockets to prep Jake. You spread some of the substance on your fingers and place them along Jake’s hole. You carefully push them in and guide Jake into riding on them for a little, pushing him up and down by his hip. “Don’t go too fast, I don’t want you to tire yourself out before the real fun starts,” you say before placing your lips on his neck to suck at the skin. Jake just nods and lets you guide his movements as you get the lube set. 

Once you’re done, you take off your pants and line yourself up with Jake. “Are you ready, sugar?” you ask mockingly before pushing yourself in and moving Jake’s hips before he can speak. Instead, all Jake can do in response is choke back a moan. The sound of his ass hitting your thighs as you make him bounce fills the room along with Jake’s vibrant moans as he feels you inside of him occasionally being replaced with moaned “papi”. 

After aiding Jake in the pace you let go of his hips and put your hands casually on his thighs. Jake falters, genuinely letting you set the motions for him. “Come on, sugar. Keep going. Ride it like you want the extra pay.” you urge him. You lean in closer to whisper in his ear, “If you can move on the pole out there then you can move on this one.” you mock. Jake does as told, trying his best to keep the fast pace moaning as he goes down and feeling you hit all the right spots and the band in his gut stretch tighter the more he goes on. If he didn’t already sound pornographic then he sure does now.

The longer he goes the more sloppy he gets with his climax hot on his heels and yours coming up soon as well. You decide that he needs help finishing it up and so you grip his hips again, this time going harder. “Just come for me, sugar. Your ass getting tight will do it for me,” you pant. You don’t get a response from Jake but you can tell by his louder more desperate moans and cries that he’s doing just that.

His noises gain a little more pitch before you feel him tighten around you as he comes, getting a little of his cum on his stomach and your suit but you don’t mind the mess due to you letting loose and slamming Jake down completely as you come yourself. After a moment of catching both of your breaths and coming off your highs. Jake is still taking deep breaths when you’ve recollected yourself but you take it as a shot to be cheeky. 

You take the hundred-dollar bill and an extra ten-dollar and slide it between his teeth. “The ten’s for being a good fuck.” you say as you go in to kiss him on the cheek. Jake takes the bills out of his mouth and looks at them. “How the hell did you get all this cash in the pockets without me seeing you were on the couch the whole time?” he questions. 

“I got a few extra if you’ll give me an extra round or two,” you say as you peek them out with a smirk. “Shit, you can have them for free if you’re going to be fucking me like this all night.”

Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[annasinterests]

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

all day long, i'm wearing a mask of false bravado ♫ trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: she's alive!!! wow life has been so busy (and depressing lowkey) so sorry for taking forever to update. i do fear this may be a little underwhelming given the wait but i'm finally moving the plot along how i want it. i've also looked at this for way too long so i just need to post it or else it'll never leave the drafts. love y'all, enjoy <3

word count: 7.7k

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, reader is lowkey highkey going through it, family dinner!, approaching threats, yearning, joel and reader have a bad case of the feels, swearing, mentions of blood/violence — please tell me if i missed anything!

It wasn’t addressed the morning after. Or during the late dinner that following night.

Not even two, three days later.

Which brought you to today, and still nothing. It was like a heavy fog that refused to dissipate, a complete contrast to the week before when words had flowed more freely between you two until that night. Now and then a brief conversation was shared, though its brevity only emphasized the distance that crept between you both.

And then there were those accursed papers, the unwelcome intruder into your already strained dynamic.

The progress was coming along much slower than you anticipated being that you had limited windows of time to work on them, often staying up late into the night in your room, or quietly flipping through them at the kitchen table or out on the front porch.

You had finally sorted them into two piles: the map and patrol schedules, and the roster and patrol logs. The constant scribbling, drawing, and highlighting had taken a toll on the papers, rendering them almost unrecognizable from their original state due to your desperate need to find connections, no matter how small they might be.

Despite your efforts to compartmentalize your thoughts on shift, your mind remained clouded with the ever-pressing mystery. Fortunately, today you’d been paired up with Mike, a partner that appreciated the comfortable silences and occasionally engaged in small talk about Jackson and everyday life, offering respite from the chaotic whirlpool that was your head over the last few days.

Returning to the stables after the long day wasn’t the reward you were hoping you felt like it was going to be, the idea of another sleepless night deciphering the papers looming over you. You leaned on the gate of your horse’s pen, observing the gentle giant before you, America.

She was brought in to Jackson just a few weeks after you settled, slightly underweight and skittish, but with the promise of improvement with time. It was during one of your grooming sessions when you hummed along to A Horse with No Name on your Walkman that you realized the irony of it, finding her name to be fitting of the circumstances.

She nudged your hands that were lazily draped over the wooden gate, prompting a weak smile from you. You reached up to caress her muzzle and forehead, her eyes closing in response as she leaned into your touch. Resting your forehead against hers, your hands moved to her cheeks, where you continued to stroke her gently.

“My best girl, always know when I’m off, don’t you?” She nickered and nudged you again, deepening your smile. “Rest up, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Just as you set her feeding pail within reach and tossed a few apples into her pen, the sound of your name caught your attention and spun you around to see Lottie. You squinted at the older woman, unsure of why she was all the way out here looking for you just as curfew was setting in.

“Lottie,” your voice was light with concern, guiding her shoulder gently back towards housing, “everything alright?”

“Oh, sure is!” She waved a hand, “I stopped by your house earlier today, I didn’t know you were out until Ellie told me and– which, can I just say, she is such a sweetheart. I mean she’s just-”

The corner of your lips curled up as she continued to gush, a prideful sense swelling up in you as when anyone spoke highly of her. You were drawn back into the conversation when she finally rounded to the point in front of her own home.

“Anyway, I didn’t know if you’d run out of this yet-” She reached into her satchel and retrieved a jar, “Here.”

You quirked a brow as she pushed it into your hands. The liquid inside looked dark in the fading light, but a familiar white label with cursive caught your eye. A smile spread on Lottie’s face as your eyes widened, recognizing the gift she’d given you, “Lottie, I-”

You couldn’t finish your sentence, your fingers curling around the jar as if it were the most fragile thing in the world. You brought it close to your chest, a genuine smile spreading across your face. “I can’t say thank you enough.”

“No need, sweetie.” Seeing the joy it brought you was more than enough for her, her hands clasped together under her chin and grinning. “Anything for you and Joel.”

You met her eyes at the mention of his name.

“I would’ve just given it to him like last time, but I figured since it was for you anyway, I’d just give it to you myself.” She winked at you, “Save you the wait.”

You tried to appear as cool as possible even though it felt like you were short-circuiting. Last time? She knew it was for you?

“Well,” you cleared your throat, eager to change the subject “thank you again, Lottie. I better get going before it’s too late.”

Offering her a sweet smile and a nod, you rounded the corner, your thoughts buzzing with the secret she unknowingly let you in on until you stepped through your front door.

You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the smell of food reached your nose once you stepped inside, the aroma being the best welcome home you’d had in a while. Ellie’s head poked into the hallway, her cheerful greeting echoing down it as you kicked off your boots and followed the delightful scent to its source.

To your right was Dina standing by the stove, deftly balancing a pot and pan, while Ellie and Jesse worked together by cutting bread and vegetables at the island. She spoke without taking her eyes off her cooking, “You can probably get in a quick shower before it’s ready.”

You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the unexpected feast. “What’s all this about?”

“A thank you for letting us crash on your couch tonight.”

The post-curfew rule.

With a full kitchen, it still lacked one person. Hoping it didn’t sound as awkward as it felt, you inquired, “Is, uh.. Joel home?”

Ellie answered, “Yeah, he’s-”

“Right here.”

His muffled voice called from the dining room, emerging seconds later while wiping his hands on his jeans. His gaze first landed on you, then your hands, then back up to you with a drastic difference from his initial look. Your fingers involuntarily curled around the jar, feeling an immediate tension. The kids were chattering, but you weren’t listening as you locked eyes with him, his lips curled inward slightly.

“Gonna share with the class?”

Jesse’s voice and nearing presence brought you back to the scene that was your kitchen, pointing at your possession. Rather than telling, you handed it to him and watched as he surveyed it.

“Ah, honey.” He stated once he saw the label, turning it over to a curious Dina that approached his side. “Tupelo– What’s that, something special?”

Ellie’s cutting slowed at his question, darting her eyes quickly at Joel, and then you. Your attention remained fixed on it, your mouth half-opened as you pondered how to respond. It was special– in ways that went beyond mere taste.

“The flavor.” You replied with a soft smile, turning away to go upstairs.

The shower was just what you needed to wash away the day’s stress, the hot water a godsend on your skin. You returned perfectly on time as everyone took their seats at the table. Jesse sat next to Ellie, Ellie next to Dina, Dina across from you, which left you besides Joel.

Awkwardly, you sat at the same time, acutely aware of the other’s presence yet made no move to so much as look at the other out the corner of your eye. And if it couldn’t have been more awkward, you reached for the serving utensils simultaneously. You both retracted and silently urged the other to go first, although Joel held out longer.

The bread and vegetables Jesse and Ellie had been cutting were spread evenly on a large board that featured sliced cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, zucchini, and a dip in the middle of it all. The main course consisted of salmon with lemon-herb orzo and broccoli that made your mouth water just at the sight of, leaving you thoroughly impressed and appreciative with their efforts of cooking such a meal for so many.

Your hand grazed against his in passing it over, the sudden contact an electric shock to you. You stole a discreet glance at his fingers as they curled around the handle, following up along his strong forearms where the veins subtly raised under his skin– those same veins that you knew continued up. A desire simmered in your lower belly, fantasizing about how those very arms and fingers brought you great pleasure just earlier in the week, now borderline aching to have them on and around you again.

“Don’t wait too long, it’ll get cold.” Ellie’s gentle words reached your ears along with a small smile, her forearm resting against the edge with a clean fork in hand.

Quickly glancing around the table, you noticed that everyone else had started eating except you, apparent that she was waiting on you.

“Sorry, just-” You shook your head and picked up the spatula to serve yourself, “You guys really outdid yourselves.”

Jesse chimed in, “Well, technically Ellie and Dina did everyth-”

Dina interrupted with enthusiasm, “Oh, nuh-uh! This was a group effort!”

“Yeah! You carried everything back to the house,” Ellie added while she picked up a forkful of salmon and orzo, “that’s like, half the battle right there.”

Jesse rolled his eyes, “Yeah, but I didn’t actually cook anything.”

Ellie covered her mouth, her words slightly muffled by the food. “But you did cut the shit out of some bread, though.”

Jesse lowered his fork, shaking his head with mock annoyance and trying to hide his laugh, which only caused a burst of laughter from the girls. You hid your own smile behind your hand, sneaking a glance at Joel who’d been hiding his behind a glass of water.

“Whatever, anyway– what’s new with you guys?” He poked his fork into his plate, “Haven’t seen you since before the party, no?”

“Oh yeah, the party!” Dina exclaimed, “How was it?”

The three of them leaned in eagerly, curiosity shining in their eyes. Their intense gazes demanding details from either of you. Quickly, you grabbed your drink and took long, deliberate sips of the ice cold water, prolonging any sort of answer. You didn’t even dare to look at Joel. You hoped that each gulp would shock away the memories that threatened to play at the forefront of your mind; the drinking, jealousy, dancing, arguing, kissing–

Apparently, he had the same idea.

“Ah,” Jesse spoke in a hushed tone, “I see.”

“Mmhm, me too,” Dina joined in with a conspiratorial whisper, “Ellie?”

You raised your finger before she could input, feeling her response through her smug expression she directed your way.

“Easy.” Joel’s sudden tone was light with a hint of caution, “Nothin’ for you kids to worry about, jus’ adults being adults.”

Your attempt to conceal a guilty smile didn’t go unnoticed by them, turning their gaze to you in unison, then back to Joel.

“Adults being adults, huh?” Ellie teased.

“Ellie–”

“Oh, come on, Joel!” She egged him on. “Give us something.”

You busied yourself with another bite as Joel did his signature sigh of annoyance, wearing an expression that clearly showed his mild irritation.

“Really? Nothing? Either of you?”

You both continued to stare back at her, Joel’s gaze more unamused than yours, as you wore a slight smile on your face.

“Yeah, they’re definitely not telling.” Jesse piped up, “They’re doing the parent thing.”

Your smile dropped like you’d been caught in the act, but it was really at his use of being her..

“What parent thing?” Ellie switched her attention to Jesse.

Parent.

Moreso the allusion of being her parent.

Maybe it looked that way– sure felt that way sometimes, but the term wasn’t ever actually used. Maybe it made sense, though. After all, she did call Tommy ‘Uncle Tommy’.

“You know, the thing where you can ask them a million times, but they won’t say a word? Either because the answer is so obvious or they’re just not going to spill the beans, so they give you the old stare-down until you figure it out on your own?”

Okay, maybe he was onto something.

Ellie fell quiet for a second, looking down at her plate as she pondered the idea. Then, she lifted her eyes to you both.

“So that’s what that’s called?”

You shared a look with Joel before you both took simultaneous sips from your glasses, inciting another round of laughter from the kids.

To your relief, the conversation veered toward lighter topics after that. You finished your meal quietly and enjoyed the banter between Ellie and her friends. Occasionally, you caught Joel in your peripheral, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched on.

It’d been just half-past midnight when you looked at the clock, dragging a hand over your tired eyes. You’d spent the last few hours trying to put together a puzzle with pieces that felt like they were from different sets, making less progress than you would’ve liked. But, you did now have a foundation regarding the people who threatened Jackson, finally having a solid list of their names and physical descriptions.

On paper, it seemed like a group of six to seven all in varying stages of their twenties, led particularly by a man and woman. According to the logs, it suggested as if they all had some sort of combat and marksman skill, though two in particular were perceived to have medical training as well.

With a heavy sigh, you put your pen down on your desk, slumping back in your chair and feeling your muscles uncoil from being hunched over for so long while you drew out an organization chart. You flexed your fingers, trying to soothe the soreness from gripping the pen tightly for so long, and gently massaged your aching knuckles.

Reluctantly, you scooped all the papers together and rolled in your chair to your nightstand to shove them in the drawer, calling it an “early” night. The soft glow of your lamp, usually a comfort, was becoming nothing more than a nuisance at the hour. All you wanted was to retreat into the darkness under your covers.

You rose and stretched out your limbs, aiming to release the tension but froze midway when a knock came from the door, glancing back at your clock once more before padding over to the door.

To your surprise, it’d been Joel, with coffee, tea, and a warm slice of blueberry pie.

“Saw your light was still on..” he gestured with the plate, “.. kids brought this over, too.”

You opened the door wider, inviting him in if he wished to enter. He slowly stepped past you, getting a waft of the treats as he did.

“Little late for sweets, don’t you think?” You teased.

He set down the plate and tea on your desk, shooting you a knowing look, “Since when do you say no to a midnight snack?”

You rolled your eyes at his point. Never. Especially when the smell of warm blueberries and sweetness filled the air.

You slumped into your chair again, throwing one leg over the other as you leaned back with the steaming cup of tea in hand. With the first sip, you could immediately tell what Joel had added to it.

He stood near the foot of your bed in a way that it looked like he wasn’t sure what to do with himself, teetering between leaving and staying. You noticed his reading glasses folded and hanging from the collar of his shirt, making an excuse for him to stick around for a few more minutes.

“Late night reading?”

He followed your gaze down to his chest, his fingers momentarily brushing over them, “Been stuck on the same chapter for a while.. can’t seem to get past it.”

You knew the feeling too well.

“What about you?” He drew a sip from his mug, taking a seat on your bed

You leaned forward to trade the tea for the pie, the plate still warm against your fingers. “Can’t sleep.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie.

He nodded at the answer, glad he deemed it as a believable one. The slice was gone within a few bites, the portion expertly cut to serve as the perfect midnight snack. For a while, you sat in companionable silence, quietly sipping from your mugs.

“Did it-”

“Well I-”

You both paused, a light chuckle filling the space. He motioned for you to speak first.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, but..” you hesitated, gauging his reaction to the warning you were giving him. He remained calm– open, even, to your curiosity. “Did it feel weird to be called a parent again?”

His expression was still soft, though his eyes fell to the hand on his knee, his thumb absently tracing the material of his pants. It was rare that you even brought up the thought of her. She represented the stark difference of your losses, and while he never made you feel like yours were less, you knew there was a unique pain that came from losing your own child. One that you’d never experienced.

“It’s.. complicated.” He sighed, “But it didn’t feel wrong.”

You watched the gears turn in his head and patiently awaited his choice to delve further or simply let it rest.

“I was lucky enough to be a father once, and when I lost..” His voice died down, both his hands cradling the coffee mug but looking as if they’d drop it at any moment. Gently, you took it from him and placed it alongside your abandoned tea, settling next to him and rubbing soft circles on his shoulder.

“When I lost her, I thought that was it.” His fingers brushed against your knee, their movements almost trembling and uncertain. “I did the worst thing a parent could do– I failed her.”

You placed your hand on top of his lightly, curling your fingers into his palm.

“Yet, somehow, I was given a second chance.” His hand curled around yours, “She gave me a second chance.”

The vulnerability made your heart ache, to listen to him speak so candidly about something that haunted him for years.

“She can’t replace my Sarah, but I don’t need her to. I love her just as she is.”

A smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the admission, though you didn’t need him to say it to know that’s how he felt about the teen living twenty feet from your backdoor.

You rubbed your thumb over his wrist, glancing down at your joined hands and then back up at him. “She loves you too.”

You could see the small smile appearing on his face at your words, his head dropping slightly and nudging you with his shoulder in a way that elicited a soft chuckle out of you.

In the light moment, you pulled back to grab both your mugs and rejoined him at his side. You enjoyed the silence, savoring your drinks of choice again. The floral sweetness tickled your nose with each sip, the honey making it go down more smooth compared to when you drank it without.

“How do you feel about it?”

You met his soft gaze, the glow of your bedroom lamp casting a gentle light on his features, making him appear even softer despite his imposing frame. For a moment, your eyes roamed over him, tracing the path of his beard down his neck to the glasses that hung from his shirt, and catching a final glimpse of a vein that ran up his bicep and hid under his sleeve. He looked so..

You tapped your finger on the rim of your mug, forcing yourself to rip your eyes away and distract yourself with a sip of your tea before answering.

“I mean, it’s..” You sighed, searching for the right words but coming up short. “Complicated, like you said.”

Your fingers traced patterns on the mug’s surface as a rush of feelings overwhelmed you, but your voice remained steady, “She didn’t even flinch at the implication, which I feel says a lot, you know?”

You swirled the last bit of tea at the bottom as you gathered your thoughts. “I never got to have kids, but with her, there’s just this feeling, this..”

“Instinct.”

You looked up at him and found an understanding in his eyes. He wasn’t offering to fill the gap, he was telling you what it was.

“Instinct.. to protect her as my own. Be the one she can rely on, love her through all the good and bad– stuff like that.”

A light chuckle into his coffee had you knitting your brows together, “What?”

“That’s what a parent does.” He shrugged with a half-smile.

You bit your lip as you looked down, drawing the mug up as his words sunk in and downing the last bit of tea left. You shook your head, an uncertainty still persisting.

“I don’t know, Joel. I don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to take that place. I don’t want her to think that–”

“Hey– she doesn’t.” He interrupted with a hand between your shoulders, “You’re just bein’ you, and you are what matters to her.”

Between the lack of good rest and emotional turmoil, it left you too weary to offer a counter argument. You simply surrendered to his word and settled for silence. Slowly, you leaned into him and rested your head into the crook of his shoulder, his arm gently wrapping around you and soothingly rubbing up and down your arm.

“Thanks, Joel.”

The words were barely a whisper but brimmed with sincerity, earning a simple hum in response and a cheek resting atop your head.

Moments like this reminded you how fortunate you were to have them both, to have found and created a life together after enduring the worst kinds of casualties. To have loved, lost, and found a purpose again.

“Try to get some sleep, alright?” He squeezed your arm and withdrew, reminding you both of the early morning ahead.

You nodded, observing as he gathered your empty mug and plate and balanced them all with one hand. A comforting smile graced his lips before he took his leave, yet he lingered in the doorway with his hand on the doorknob.

“If it makes a difference,” he looked at you as he spoke, “I think you’re one hell of a mom to her.”

A rush of warmth flooded your cheeks and made you look down at your hands that couldn’t seem to stay still now. When you summoned the courage to meet his eyes again, he shot you a wink and finally closed the door.

Padding over to the lamp and finding the switch under the shade, your fingers ceased to flip it as you stared at the dip in your bed where you both sat.

It wasn’t the conversation you expected, nor a conversation you expected at all, but it was one that undoubtedly drew you closer to him.

Despite only getting a few hours of shut-eye, you surprisingly felt well-rested. You welcomed the sun peeking through the blinds as it created a calm atmosphere in your room that further motivated you to get ready for the day, as well as the smell of fresh coffee brewing that had you hurrying to get downstairs for a cup and quick breakfast before heading out.

Joel’s back had been turned to you in front of the pot, noticing your presence almost instantly and quick to hand you a thermos with a mumbled good mornin’. You leaned against the counter beside him, feeling the warmth radiate through the cup, the sensation running a pleasant shiver through your body.

He watched you carefully as he situated himself, your state of peace bringing a smile to his face; your eyes closed with contentment as you inhaled the rich aroma, the steam rolling over your face in small waves.

Over the rim of the cup, you noticed the jar of honey you acquired less than twelve hours ago sitting on the counter. You figured that Jesse had forgotten about it once he set it down. Crossing the kitchen, you picked it up, giving it a once-over before turning to Joel with a smirk.

“So.. you did know.” The remark lacked any real accusal.

Joel leaned back, gripping the counter with one hand, crinkling his eyebrows and casually shrugging as he brought the coffee to his lips, “I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.”

Your smile deepened, “Oh, really-”

He loudly put the empty coffee pot in the sink, effectively cutting off your incoming line of questioning, ushering you to put down the jar and move, “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”

You rolled your eyes and swiftly reached for two apples from the fruit bowl on the island. Blindly, you shoved one into your own pack and deftly managed to slip the other into Joel’s for later, all while he rushed you both.

On the walk over you made a few more attempts to extract an answer from him, but were met with skillful deflections that made you giggle with each evasion. You took a sip of your coffee, raising and dropping your shoulders in a mocked defeat.

“Well, guess I could ask Lottie, then.”

He quickly shot you a look, “Or you could not.”

You laughed and playfully swatted at his shoulder, “So you’ll tell me then?”

He let out a huff and shook his head, gesturing to the patrol board that was surrounded by more people than you expected, “Let’s save it for when there aren’t so many ears around?”

You flashed him a grin and deliberately raised your voice with each word, “Why? Don’t want people knowing your little secret about-”

He swiftly stepped in front of you, putting just enough space between you both to maintain propriety. His faint smile lingered as he lightly touched your shoulder. “Listen, I promise you can give me all the grief you want later, alright?”

It was almost endearing how flustered he got, though you had no intention of revealing anything. Even after you agreed, he held your gaze for a moment longer, and you swore you saw a glint of something intimate before he turned away. Excitement fluttered in your belly after joining the line, your body flushing with a mild heat from the quick moment of close proximity.

As you approached the board, Joel lagged behind in conversation with a fellow patrol member. You scanned the board, quickly reading names over and between figures, though none revealed your own. Once at the front, you used your finger and dragged down the list until you found your name, darting over to the next column where you raised an eyebrow at seeing your partner for the shift was none other than Joel himself.

You turned to him still absorbed in discussion, moving out of the way for others and politely tapping his shoulder as you offered a warm smile to the other man. “Hey, we should start moving out.”

His eyes flickered between you and the board, pointing to it and nodding, “Yeah, let me go see-”

You placed your hand on his forearm to stop him from walking, being met with an inquisitive brow.

“You and me, Miller.”

You grinned at his surprise, patting his shoulder twice and brushing past to go to the stables. Besides being tricked by Tommy earlier in the week and today, you hadn’t been paired up for patrol in quite some time, and part of you believed this was another convoluted plan on his again.

It didn’t take long for Joel to follow you and ride down to the gate together, falling in with the assembled group with Tommy at the front giving one of his customary speeches before departure. He found you both easily with a mischievous smile, cementing your belief.

The route today was to go through Wilson Valley down to Elk Creek, take Elk Creek to Colten Bay, then loop back around to Wilson Valley. It wasn’t one of your favorite routes by any means, finding it less scenic compared to others, much of it consisting of open fields and small bodies of water overrun with algae that served as markers.

The first few hours were just as boring as you expected them to be, the majority of it spent traversing to Wilson Valley alone. You didn’t bother to hold America’s reins as she navigated the familiar path. Instead, your hands took small sections of her mane to gently detangle and then braid.

Your eyes roamed over the vast land and mountainous structures, the varying hues of green and yellow abundant everywhere you looked. Dilapidated houses and barns littered along the fields, worn and picked down to their foundation, no longer even offering shelter to the poorest of travelers.

As time passed, impatience crept in. It felt like you were seeing the same sparse trees and tall grass over and over again, the scenery quickly becoming more monotonous by the minute.

You peered over at Joel with nonchalance, “Is now a good time for that grief?”

A grin appeared on his face as he looked down at his saddle and then back to you, raising his hands and letting them fall on his thighs with a playful flair, “If you must.”

You simpered, simply reiterating an earlier point. “So, again, you did know.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I did. And yes, I got it from Lottie.”

You didn’t get the chance to get a question out before he started speaking again.

“She stopped me one mornin’ on my way in for patrol, not too long after she dropped off that box for you. Was askin’ me if you liked honey in your tea, ran inside and brought it out to show me.” He chuckled as he told the details, “When I saw what kind it was, told her I’d pick it up on my way home that evenin’.”

“But how do you?..” You furrowed your brows at him, still stuck on the how. “I don’t recall ever-”

“You remember when we’d camp out durin’ our runs back in Boston?”

You nodded.

“And how sometimes we’d bring a bottle if we knew it was gonna be a long night?”

Your groan transformed into a laughter and rang into the air with his, the era of that time certainly not lost in your memory.

“Yeah, it’d been one of those nights. You were sittin’ there, tellin' me about it with all smiles.” You cringed, now realizing why you didn’t remember. “Didn’t quite understand why until you said her name.”

You took up America’s reins in your hands as the bittersweet memories flashed through your mind of a better time. His voice held a soft, contemplative tone as he continued.

“The way you talked about it– talked about her– was like you were tellin’ a story from just a few days ago. Hadn’t seen you talk like that about anything before.”

Your grip tightened as he recounted the memory from his perspective, rubbing the leather between your fingers as an ache bloomed in your chest.

“So when I saw it– I knew I couldn’t pass it up, and I told you I didn’t know because I thought..” He trailed off, running a hand over his beard and letting out a sigh, “.. I thought it would’ve made it more special.”

Your hands were so hot you were certain the reins would’ve caught on fire. You couldn’t do anything but rub your thumbs faster against the material to quell the rising emotions, the stinging in your nose that made it crinkle without fail every time. Biting down on your lip, you looked away and let a few tears bounce off your cheeks before swiftly wiping away the remnants.

You got one of your answers, but fuck– you weren’t expecting all of that. He remembered because he saw how happy it made you one night all those years ago?

He knew– he fucking knew– and he never would’ve told you so that you could have it to yourself.

The alarms were blaring. The sign clear as day. It wasn’t coincidence, it wasn’t chance– it was pure deliberation driven by an old memory. And it messed with you hard, because you knew that in knowing, there was loving. A type of love without the need for grand declarations and elaborate speeches to prove it, because it’s proved by showing.

You couldn’t look at him during this minor epiphany, and a frown formed on his face when he realized. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, because you did– but if you did, it would be too real. It would mean that you were right and that he lo–

“M’sorry if I-”

“No!” The word came out more frantic than you intended, catching him off guard with its intensity. His face registered a mixture of confusion, quickly correcting yourself with a softer tone. “N-No, don’t apologize, Joel-”

“I–” A weak smile tugged at your lips, trying your best to keep the tears at bay, “It’s nice that you knew.”

Amidst all the other uncertainties and unresolved issues between you two, this was something entirely different– a direct, indisputable act on his part. Yet you knew it wouldn’t be so easily discussed as such.

So your horses continued to trot along the path in silence, entering Elk Creek.

You sat at the edge of a small lake in the warm gravel, little past the halfway point of the route and well into Colten Bay.

The last few hours were pleasant, marked every so often by eye contact and the exchange of a soft smile. Joel continued on about the honey ordeal, explaining that Ellie got roped into it not long ago when she asked to use some after discovering it in the pantry. She’d looked at him oddly when he told her to use it sparingly, then having to reason as to why. You chuckled as he recalled the details of their conversation that day, Ellie’s eyes widening at learning a new fact about you, pulling up a chair and practically begging Joel to share more stories about your time together in Boston. According to him, the conversation had started early in the afternoon in the kitchen and lasted late into the evening in the living room, even surviving their stop at the Tipsy Bison to grab a quick dinner, her curiosity unwavering

Despite the unremarkable scenery of the lake, you enjoyed it with Joel by your side. The trees towered over you enough to give shade from the dwindling sun, casting dappled sunlight over the forests and mountains in the distance that contrasted against the blue sky.

You passed a paper bag back and forth with jerky in it, preferring to string your pieces apart rather than bite and pull until your jaw was sore, which earned you teasing from Joel.

“Laugh it up, old timer.” You quipped, “You’re lucky there’s no more TV, because if there was, I’d film how you eat and send it straight to National Geographic.”

You couldn’t tell what made you laugh harder, your own joke or Joel’s belly laugh to the point wiping away tears from the corners of his eyes. You grabbed his arm to steady yourself, both of you involuntarily leaning in towards one another, and for a moment, it didn’t feel like you were working. You were just two friends enjoying each other’s company.

“Man,” you reached for the bag and shoved it into your pack, standing off and dusting off the back of your thighs, “I got you fucking good.”

Still chuckling, he shook his head and took your offered hand, following you back to the horses. He began to speak, but the words fell deaf on your ears as you heard the faint crunching of sticks and swishing of leaves close by, snapping your head in the direction and raising a hand for him to be quiet. He caught on instantly.

You both acted swiftly, instinct taking over as Joel drew his revolver while you unholstered yours, aiming with precision and falling into synchronized steps. The rustling grew louder and louder until a figure bursted through the underbrush and halted upon seeing you both.

Before you stood a young woman, clearly in a state of panic and distress. Fresh blood stained her clothes and smeared across her face. She raised her arms, chest heaving as if she’d been running for some time.

“I-I don’t mean harm!”

You maintained a cautious stance, your eyes fixed firmly on the woman. Her wide brown eyes darted nervously between you and Joel, sweat plastering her short hair to her forehead. She was short, maybe shorter than Ellie, and thin.

“I-I was chased.” She stammered, “Got separated from my people.”

“And who are your people?” You pressed rigidly.

“Just a few of us– please, you gotta-”

Whatever plea she’d been begging drowned out as you really began to stare at her. She was covered in blood, yet had no wounds to show for it. Not even a scratch. Slowly, details from your chart began to emerge.

Female. White. 5’1-5’4.

You narrowed your eyes.

Short dark hair. Slim build.

Your jaw tensed.

Fuck, what was her name– Mel?

You muttered her name under your breath, catching Joel’s attention as he looked at you in his peripheral.

“I’m sorry-” You cut her off sharply as she was still blabbering, “I don’t think we got your name.”

She froze, shuffling her feet and darting her eyes away and back to you, “M-Miranda.”

You decided to go out on a limb

“You seen any wolves, Miranda?”

Her face flushed, and you saw her mask slip for a moment before putting on the facade again, “Wolves? I haven’t seen any wolves.”

An anger simmered in you. Liar.

Joel took a step closer to you, maintaining his gaze on the girl while lowering his voice, “Care to tell me what it is you’re doin’ here?”

You ignored his question, “Get on your horse, Joel.”

“What?” He scrunched his face, “I’m not-”

He paused when he caught the lethal look in your eyes, scowling at your insistence but ultimately complying. There wasn’t enough time to explain nor were you privy to the idea of letting him in on your work outside of work.

“I told you my name, I think it’s only fair that-” She began to reason, but it only made you more angry.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary.” You backed up until you reached America and swiftly hoisted yourself up, flickering your eyes into the trees every few moments. You kept your pistol trained on her, “Be careful about those wolves, Miranda.”

You stared down at her, your voice dripping with venom, “If there’s one, there’s probably a pack nearby.”

Luckily with Joel ahead, he missed your insinuation. The woman glared you down and snarled as you rode off, dropping her hands down in a frustrated defeat.

You ushered him to pick up the pace, taking the lead through the remainder of Colten Bay and all throughout Wilson Valley, your head on a swivel the entire time. The hours painfully dragged by, doing a number on your anxiety as you couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched the rest of the way home.

Immense relief washed over you upon seeing Jackson’s gate in the distance, whistling up to the guards so you could ride straight through and to the stables, not wasting another minute beyond the walls as the night fell.

You led America into her pen, fetching her feeding pail and gently gliding your hand along her neck as she ate. You couldn’t stop thinking of Mel, that look she gave you when you let her know you weren’t falling for her act.

It was too close, and you berated yourself mentally for not doing more. You shouldn’t have killed her, right? Even though she was the enemy? No. You didn’t condone killing people in that cold of blood.. Not anymore, at least. Should you have tied her up and brought her back? Interrogated her more? Maybe. But doing so might’ve pissed off your enemies even more and put Jackson at an even greater risk.

Truthfully, you did what was best. You recognized the trouble and withdrew without wasting any bullets or risking injury, moreover keeping Joel safe, who seemed peeved with you at the moment.

Looking over at him, you noticed a small figure at his side. Your hand fell hard on America’s gate, the other finding your hip as you cocked your head.

That fucking woman from the party.

You couldn’t miss the broad smile she aimed at him, leaning casually against a pillar and swearing a shirt that left little to the imagination. You scoffed loudly at the audacity to come out here just to flirt right before curfew.

Your disapproval didn’t go unnoticed, Joel shooting you a look over his shoulder that begged you not to start. Seizing the moment, the woman shot you a dirty look before switching back to her charming smile when he turned his attention back to her.

Thankfully, Tommy entered the stables, and for once, you were grateful for his presence. With a smirk, you strided over to Joel and slipped your hand under his arm to guide him away.

“Um, excuse me!” Her high-pitched tone doubled as annoying and surprising. Reluctantly, you met her gaze, but didn’t drop your hold on Joel. “We were having a conversation.”

“Yeah? Well, that’s too bad.” Her mouth gaped.

“I think what she meant was that-” Joel attempted to soothe the burn, but you were absolutely having none of it.

“I meant exactly that.”

You smiled at him, successfully pulling away and getting joy from seeing her on the brink of a temper tantrum. You even smiled through the scolds he muttered to you under his breath as you approached his brother, his mood entirely sour now.

Tommy’s face shifted from neutral to concerned upon seeing you both with contrasting expressions, “Everythin’ alright?”

The lack of an answer told him what he needed to know, patiently waiting until the stables cleared out completely before giving him a rundown of the incident. You omitted the details you figured from your sidework, chalking the encounter up to being a baiting technique for an ambush.

He rolled his lips under his teeth, tapping his foot against the wood with hands on his hips, a telltale sign of deep thought. For a moment, you weren’t sure what to expect of a response, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it was a form of criticism on your part or a question regarding the situation. However, it never came. He dismissed you both after noting he’d make the necessary alterations for tomorrow, commending you for getting out safely. It was clear that he was shaken up by it, which furthered your guilt.

Joel had a five-step lead on the walk home no matter how hard you tried to keep up. You kept calling out to him, but received no response.

“Joel.” You called again. No answer. “Joel!”

He kept walking, maintaining his pace. You caught up and tugged him back by his arm, “Joel, what the f-”

“Not now.” He tersely replied.

The response was frustratingly vague. Not now? What did he mean not now? He was five steps ahead of you again before you knew it.

“What, are you mad at me?” Your confusion was mounting, and the silence from Joel was only making things worse.

He remained unresponsive, like talking to a brick wall, but you refused to let the matter rest. You didn’t stop pricking until you got home and he couldn’t ignore you any longer.

“Seriously, Joel? You’re not ev-”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

You creased your brows for a moment, “Tell him what?”

He fixed you with a scrutinizing look, “How you questioned that girl.”

Shit.

“That was-” You darted your eyes away and back to him, letting your hands fall against your thighs, “I was seeing if she was lying.”

“About seeing wolves?” He narrowed his eyes at you. “Awfully specific if y’ask me.”

You straightened up, taking a step towards him, “Is there a problem with how I handle things?”

He let out a scoff, “The problem is when you don’t involve me.”

“Yeah, well next time I’ll make sure to stop and give you a full briefing!” Joel rolled his eyes, and you couldn’t help but feel a sting of annoyance, “Jesus, Joel– I’d think after all this time you’d have a little more trust in me.”

Your inward chuckle ceased when he didn’t respond, his reticence loud as he only looked at you. A pang of hurt hit you hard– Really?

The persisting silence only made it worse.

Whatever. Just go to your room and work for the rest of the night.

Walking past him, he stopped you with a firm hand on your hip.

“‘Course I trust you,” his voice softened, gently turning you to face him, “always have.”

The reassurance calmed you, reducing your fire to embers. His hand fell from you, but a slight frown remained.

“Jus’ can’t stand if somethin’ were to happen and I couldn’t do more because of what I didn’t know,” he searched you for understanding, “make sense?”

You couldn’t stay mad with how genuinely concerned he looked, growing disappointed with yourself for going at him hard when you would’ve done the same thing. Nodding, you mumbled out an apology to him, your eyes stuck on the floor.

Slowly, you felt his arms wrap around you in a way that let you know he accepted it. You exhaled a breath you weren’t aware you were holding as you yielded to his touch, resting against his chest and closing your eyes. The weight of the day felt heavy, but the sound of his heartbeat made it feel just a little lighter.

You thought things were on their way to getting better, that you were closer to tying up loose ends.

But it was only getting complicated again.

[plasmasimagination]

hiya there!! congrats on 300 followers ^^ i hope hearing the news made your day and that you’ll have many more amazing milestones like this one,, oh! and when you read this, please have a drink of water — take care of yourself, ok? 🤍

for the matchup event, i’d like a matchup for the honkai star rail and genshin impact guys please!

~~~

i’m an enfp 4w3 and i’m currently a sciences student at school! deep down my passion is in voice acting, but i can’t pursue it for the time being because of my studies piling up xd

still, i have big dreams of landing character roles that people can relate to and potentially singing, voicing commercials or audiobooks!

in a perfect world, my dream future would be to devote the rest of my life to creating art that’s from my heart and that will move others!

i’m in a leadership role at school because i like to be of service to others in the greatest way possible. i didn’t get enough votes to be president, but i was voted to be secretary, so i take note of everyone’s ideas and also our final decisions at meetings!

i prefer to compile people’s ideas and try to make them all come true in some way than to lead people towards a singular cause. in that respect, i don’t always enjoy leading people or competition.

im also super into psychology and typology (mbti, enneagram) and can usually tell who’s what personality type after getting to know them a little~

while i’m ambiverted, i’m definitely a little more extroverted than introverted (the latter probably stems from fluctuating confidence). but anyways, i have a couple friends — and i get along best with the people who are intuitive types (mbti with the N).

i’m pretty distracted at times. i don’t always remember or hear things people say, which i’m hoping to improve on. in general, i like finding improvements to myself!

as for looove,, i’m pretty dreamy and romantic, but i’m not actively searching for love just yet. there’s so many things i wanna do with my life before truly settling down, but i won’t refuse getting to know “the one” if i meet them along the way.

my type is someone introverted/ambiverted. i’d really like a partner who has a different side to them when we’re alone~ — like shy guys in public who are dominant in private (*blushes*), or charismatic guys in public who need cuddles and a safe space in private. (i don’t mind it if they don’t fit this criteria! i’ll do all i can to give my partner a safe space regardless ^^)

i hope this wasn’t too long and that it all helps! have a lovely day! 🥰

HAII SWEETHEARTTTT oh my god now that I put it that way i seriously can't comprehend how big it is, and actually were on 352 by now like isn't that insane?? It's genuinely so crazy to me how plp actually enjoy my content like-....

Little a/n - also I'm so impressed by your like life and how put together you are like idk it just so cool to hear about your life and shi, keep doing you babe I'm your biggest supporter and hope to see you as a voice actor one day (｡˃ ᵕ ˂ *) ｳﾝ

Anyyyways... Time for your matchup woooo~👻

Your matchups are....

.

.

.

XIAO

Maybe not exactly the thing you're looking for, but surely worth a shot?

Partner that takes charge x partner that follows the other around like a puppy

Xiao isn't fond of making decisions, so he'll leave it up to you, but he will help in making the decision become reality if needed

He's also very passively supporting you. He understands that you wish to focus on your career and live life before settling down, and he's never gonna hold you down from it, he's gonna get out of your way in case you want to go out with friends or like clubs or traveling, though do reassure him sometimes otherwise he'll be very distant

Also generally it will take him a while to warm up to your but after that he'll follow you around and always be near you.

He considers you very intelligent and reliable, which makes him like you a lot more in a way, he enjoys the secure feeling you give off

Think of it as having a black cat pet, it always lingers around you but doesn't interact much, yet it still loves you. And in those rare moments it comes to cuddle with you it's like a blessing by the archons themselves

GEPARD

I don't know I just feel like after that deep matchup W xiao, that you deserve someone to actually love you properly

Busy busy man gepard who still finds time to spend with his sweetheart

He's the type of person who's forced to lead in a lot of situations, around you he enjoys letting you take over and he can just sit back and help you out without the hard decision making

He's very sweet but very professional in real life as we know because of status

But inside he's a big big softie

Random but I like to imagine he would write you little letters, sometimes just to tell you to stay safe and stuff but sometimes actual love letters where he expresses how much he loves you

But don't be fooled, at times he can also take the charge in things, so it's like getting the best of both worlds

He understands what it's like to want to focus on yourself and your future, so he's gonna step back if you need him to, he can wait months, years, however long you need to let him love you╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[pencilnewt]

I dont think I have seen somebody draw as beautifully as you have, really.

The colors you use to draw make the photograph, as does the shadowing. And your ideas? Genius.

How did you learn all this great technique? Was that something you have always done or did you just start drawing?

I hope I could just tell you how amazing your art is to me (and many others)✨

thank you so much omfg!!

it’s definitely taken a lot of time and practice, i didn’t just wake up one day and know how to draw the way i do rn!! and im still learning all the time, im very self-taught!! gonna fish thru my instagram for a min and grab some screenshots of old art to demonstrate this in a sort of timeline but it feels very self-indulgent (which i try not to be too often haha) so it’s under the cut if anyone wants to see :3

i feel like im able to create something approaching the art i see in my head for the first time in my life and im SO grateful for any and all support people have given me while im doing that in a way i literally cannot express like i read EVERY SINGLE tag people leave on my art on here and it makes me want to fucking cry <3

quickly first of all i use CSP version 1 these days but over the past 9 years i’ve used nearly every free drawing program available - krita, 🏴‍☠️photoshop, firealpaca, autodesk sketchbook, ibis paint, medibang…

anyway some sketchbook drawings circa 2016/age 13 (earliest i have photos of, but i have one earlier sketchbook somewhere) at which point human anatomy was still an utter mystery to me:

got my first drawing tablet in 2017 - a little wacom intuos draw, which i don’t think they make anymore, but i still used it until about a year and a bit ago when i bought my xp-pen display tablet w my first paycheck. i think this was literally the first thing i drew on there:

a bit of a jump to 2019 (this is where i got my love for fuzzy chalky textures i think):

i try not to think about the dsmp era too much but that’s where i made some big strides (especially in my colouring) because i felt a lot of consistent motivation to draw!

& then spent a LOT of time doodling my dnd character over the past year & doing some other little reference studies when i could find the time between writing my undergrad dissertation etc. this helped me nail down drawing faces better than b4.

i’d doodled some hockey stuff on and of for the past couple of years but only started properly drawing or posting anything at the end of september!! gotta say a big THANK YOU to everyone who reblogged pens snoopy when i first posted him bc without the support from people on here i don’t think id have initially been so motivated to keep making this art that i’ve loved drawing so so much. and i’ve made friends & mutuals that i’m even more grateful for :3 1st vs most recent:

i have lots of things i wanna keep working on, here are some:

more detailed backgrounds & lighting (biggest barrier here is terrible Can’t Be Bothered syndrome)

recognisably simplifying/stylising people more!! i can do this a bit but my strength is defo semi-realism i feel

improving my composition/making it more intentional. this is the biggest reason behind making those stamp designs actually (could go into much more detail in another post about what’s behind lots of the hockey pieces i’ve made, if anyone would like to hear about that. there’s semi-often something im trying to specifically work on or practice)

more movement & dynamism!!

this is probably so obvious but i’m like. passively learning from looking at other artists’ work all the time as well as practicing. if i really like a piece of art i see online i’ll try and identify exactly WHY i like it so i can think about how i might improve my own art.

if you read this far i’m in love w you <3