#i keep thinking about this video specifically (by the same name) bc its so funny to me

[girlkisserr]

[cosmocove]

some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)

[red-dyed-sarumane]

having been here from the very beginning i think my fave aru sekai series lore is that

• despite it very clearly being a series (it is. it IS i can prove it to u) hiiragi magnetite has never addressed it as such. the fan art tag on twitter is aru sekai bijutsuten However it was chosen via poll and was a listener created tag. hiiragima themself has yet to say anything about it being a series. if u ask them a question (for example when i asked if the charas have names) they wont correct u & know what ur talking about but nope. they dont talk about the content of the songs outside of the songs at all

• possibly not aru sekai but we'll see eventually- they decided to make a song thats one second for every like they got. theyre currently making a song thats 70,000 seconds long (like 19 &1/2 hours). they have the file name saved so that "seconds" is replaced with "illness" which sounds the same in jpn

• the content is so fucking specific every time i see other people try to translate it theyre like "this was so confusing". they are so right but also i promise u it gets 2% easier when u know the songs are related

• sena yuta does the art for the main aru sekai series songs. asa is the other illust. even tho asa tends to do art for nonseries songs (nadenna, uni, rasshaina) marshall maximizer & canon are absolutely part of the series & i cant believe i keep seeing people over look this. the motif is RIGHT THERE. canon says aru sekai de in THE FIRST LINE whats not clicking

• many songs have context as text flashed for a frame in the video background! as of right now aru sekai soushitsu, kyuuyaku hankagai, shuuen touhikou, unplanned apoptosis, marshall maximizer, canon (this ones in code) have text. oumen mokushiroku, kugutsu ashura, laboratory do not. (if u want to get technical oumen has the ou kanji to say its part of the aru sekai shoushitsu order but theres no new information in it)

• all of the songs except for kugutsu ashura & laboratory have the "nami no ne no yume wo miyou" melody from aru sekai shoushitsu worked in somewhere. if u dont believe me ill get u time stamps if u ask. those two songs dont have it but im telling u its thematic, they ARE part of the series, but i cant only really theorize on what it means until we get more songs & content

• hiiragima once said "if u dont know how to read the title of kugutsu ashura you can just call it ashura" this is especially funny bc they always put furigana for their titles in their descriptions.

• they actually do a good job of getting characterization across once u get past the technical language they use. some of them are a lot more obvious than others (unplanned apoptosis. i think this girls so funny bc its so different from everything else) but theres a lot u can get from the word choice/play once ur used to all the weird science (?) terms. sena yuta's art also does an AMAZING job of getting their characters down in a single drawing. u can tell so much from the art for real. this is a whole essay in itself im stopping here for now

• all the characters have names!!!!!! i would know i asked directly & they responded they said yes the characters have names but theyre waiting for the right moment to reveal them. every day this torments me both bc i would like to call her by name instead of saying tenshi everyday and also bc i know this means they have plot significance & im not ready to handle that

• so far all the charas in the songs are girls but if i remember correct the bg text in some songs (shoushitsu & maximzier i think? id have to double check) refers to there being at least one guy in there somewhere.

• this is just a personal note but none of these people have basic lab safety i mean look at their outfits. if the world wasnt ending they die anyway wearing that esp the laboratory chara but i digress

• in general the series is ur "the world is ending and we need to find a way to stop it from ending"typical story i guess. not only plays on destruction of the world but also destruction of the self. its not ur lighthearted easy to handle voca series if u want that may i suggest honeyworks or perhaps last notes mikagura school suite instead

• we dont have a timeline. i can tell u from context the songs arent being posted in chronological order. i have no idea what the order is ive made a guess before but its just a guess.

• theres a paragraph in shoushitsu about a swampman & hilarious as it sounds it actually describes exactly whats going on. both about how the world functions in that no two attempts are the same but also that people who lose their "self" are also The Same But Not. which is interesting to know its so thought out considering the time between songs & how hiiragima claims to just be doing whatever they want. its very cohesive. somehow.

• i have no idea why the english titles of the songs are like that on youtube. i dont know if they did that themself or not but i for one refuse to acknowledge that shuuen touhikou is called "blade" over there. girl what how did we get there u just lost soo much connotation doing that. i want to say the swords arent even a main part of the song but i dont think i can actually. anyway the "eng" titles on yt dont exist to me

• the theme used to be 5 kanji title songs were the main songs and katakana with the first repeating (ex MArshall MAximizer) were more like. sub or context songs. and then we have like canon & laboratory so idk if those are just another type of song along with the others or if they decided they didnt want to follow that anymore. i need more info but still something to note. the kanji songs also used to be sections of shoushitsu (kyuu, shuu, ou, fuu, mei, juu, mou, ei) but then, again, kugutsu ashura threw me off so [vague confused gesturing]

• rain. thats all i need to say really. very few songs that dont have rain or the color blue in it somewhere & that's absolutely intentional.

• i saw sena yuta say something about flower language in regards to the laboratory art but i never saw if they elaborated and my friend whos into flower language was having a time trying to pin point what flower it was so for now another mystery unsolved

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

[kraviolis]

I'VE ALREADY HEARD ABT THE RIVAL STREAMERS AU BUT I'LL ASK ABOUT IT ANYWAY BC IT'S FUCKING GOOD

KERRY IM JUST GONNA COPY AND PASTE SHIT FROM THE DOC YOU ALREADY READ!! I DONT HAVE ANY NEW CONTENT IM SORRY KJDSHKJSFJKSF

OK SO gordon is like. 22-23 in this au. he’s a medium time streamer. he variety streams a lot. he has a son that he lets on stream sometimes. he has a day job as a student getting his master’s in theoretical physics and as a TA for a professor he knows at his college. he streams at night and the weekends mostly. he has a relatively small following, averages 2-3k ppl per stream.

benrey is somewhat of a small time streamer but hes a lil mysterious. no face cam, no real name, no know home city or even what state he lives in. he streams more unknown games or just games he finds interesting and sometimes speedruns. hes chill as fuck and funny as hell. he avgs 400 ppl per stream.

one day, they're both streaming at the same time, and gordon runs into him in a multiplayer game. he harasses gordon a lil, makes him laugh, pro gamer strats. they become “rivals” but its mostly for show to entertain their viewers. they run into each other in the one game a couple times and have fun antics that stay within that game.

but then when benrey’s just chatting with his stream later, a mod in chat says “oh shit look its the guy” and links gordon’s channel, specifically a clip where he’s streaming his reaction to a video game show case while eating cereal in sweatpants and talks with his mouth full. he’s talking shit about the playstation guy presenting the fucking. ps5 or whatever.

and benrey’s like “aw shit. dude. hes fucking hot.” but not out loud.

out loud he says “i knew this guy was bad news, he hates playstation.”

then he notices gordon’s actually also live right now. so he and his viewers go to see gordon’s live feed and he’s playing fucking. pubg or something. and benrey’s just “alright folks we’re fucking stream sniping him” and he DOES and uses the same shitty user name in the MMO they were playing

gordon is immediately like “you FUCK what are you DOING HERE” and benrey’s laughing really hard off mic so gordon doesn’t hear and he just goes “what i cant hang out with my best friend” and he just follows gordon around with his shitty passport joke and gets them both killed. and both of their chats are eating it up.

but THEN when gordon’s off stream he gets @‘d on twitter with benrey’s stream clip of him reacting to finding gordon’s twitch and hes like “DUDE.” and posts on twitter like “@passportguardian you’re calling me bad news when you’re the one stream sniping?”

and then gordon passes out and wakes up to 4000 twitter notifications. because benrey saw and replied and the rivalry is getting HEATED. gordon is grinning and laughing at his replies to all his tweets just bickering with each other.

and then one stream a couple weeks later gordon gets sent a clip of benrey on stream roasting gordon and saying “idk guys if he wasnt such a coward he would get on call and argue with me himself and tell me exactly how PC is superior instead of hiding on twitter like uhhhhh little coward boy” and gordon goes “uh huh. yep. we’re doing this” and DMs benrey like “give me your discord im abt to end ur whole career”

and they get on call together and gordon LAUNCHES into his argument. benrey is like half trying not to bust a gut and half just trying to rile him up and gordon is laughing too and getting more “heated” and they end it with benrey going “cant FUCKING believe this dont FUCKING talk to m--” and then going offline. gordon dies laughing on stream and cant even focus on what he was doing before he has to end stream too

and then gordon cant stop thinking about benrey. and benrey already knows hes got a crush on gordon but hes not abt to make this weird. they keep their rivalry going and hop into each other’s streams sometimes and just chat and bicker at each other privately. they get to become really good friends (maybe more? jk ahahaha.... unless,)

benrey’s friend tommy starts to be friends with gordon too and its so fucking fun. tommy is streamer but not as big as either of them (he likes 2 stream more unconventional stuff, like him reading out loud to chat and him cooking with his dad and just him taking sunkist to the park, hes not big on playing video games) and is a neutral party in the rivalry. tommy gets along with gordon really well and actually was the mod to direct benrey to gordon’s stream for the first time. I CAN KEEP GOING ABT THIS but i want to finish the actual story part of this au before sharing with the public !! also i wanna draw designs for them........

[vampiremourning]

I’ve been moving so I haven’t had time to sit and work on anything really which is unfortunate because school is starting up again ech

butttttttt anyway my self indulgent thoughts that have been sort-of keeping me afloat recently are the rumblings of a couple new ocs who i probably wont end up doing anything with as far as posting goes since the recent reception of my stuff in general just kinda depresses me more lmao but moving on. i keep thinking about my weirdo human oc and her yautja partner, and how they met at the end of a hunt when the bones had been collected and were being brought back to the ship. she's a bit of a weirdo who inadvertently just sort of flaked away from her old life. didn't really mesh with anyone, wasnt hated but wasnt cared about either so it was Whatever when she took off to live a bit more remotely to work closer to her art. i maintain she's a taxidermist by trade and idk if this is realistic or not but since its my fantasy and i choose the rules lmao she makes a decent living selling off her pieces. some are just straightforward rebuildings of the creatures she finds but most are weird and wonderful imaginative scenes & sets (think like,, the rat pope thing only Bigger and done better lmao).

so the bones are her thing and she finds herself trying to take home a bear or mountain lion or smth like that's body at the same time the yautja is. she's not a threat to him like. at all lmfao. just this skinny little bewildered thing looking up in shock when he materializes. the acceptance is,,, weirdly quick actually? like there's an element of wonder ofc but she's still like 'well. strange shit happens all the damn time why not this too.' and in a wild act of autopilot starts to ask him about the other trophies he's hanging onto. i think he would be slightly confused by this but also like. its oddly endearing lmao, just extremely earnest in her curiosity.

something something time passes and a real ~relationship~ starts up between them with every earth visit (she offers to display the trophies, which,, hmm, no, but he Does bring her carcasses specifically for her to work with separate from the trophies lmao) & he just thinks shes the greatest. like yes, very much odd, but still, she's fantastic. 10/10 listener, pretty funny, good looking as far as he can tell, there's really not much to dislike tbh. he's slightly confused about her chosen lifestyle though, bc as far as he knows the humans are also social creatures not unlike his own species and he just assumes that there must be other people in the area somewhere she spends time with, it doesnt make any sense otherwise that there wouldnt be, & she was just so open and social with him in spite of the fact that he wasnt human, surely some other people must be around to appreciate that too?

ofc thats when the conversation gets a bit awkward and she tries to think of someone to seem less pathetic in the eyes of the hunter who, for whatever godforsaken reason, thinks she's interesting enough to keep coming back here for. well, um, not exactly like that? i mean, i do talk to people sometimes. um. when i sell sculptures to them, or when i have to go food shopping. i think the video store clerk knows my name, probably? hahah um. yeah. & for the first time it finally clicks that there is 100% a reason she seems so excited whenever he drops by and gives her the time of day, even for a little bit. those several-week stretches between visits are more than likely very quiet for her, & are almost certainly void of any conversations deeper than asking if she wanted reusable or plastic bags. and she seems kinda :/ unhappy that this has come up conversationally too, bc in her mind now he knows that there must be something wrong with her if she isnt normal in that particular way, and she was kinda hoping to keep that hidden or at least severely downplayed, because he's not From Here; maybe he wouldnt know? maybe she could just pretend?

its not something he can just kill and fix, but maybe theres something he could offer. would she like to come with him for a bit? not long, just a couple weeks. see the stars & some new lands (he would probably pick places that had '''easy''' hunts to ensure she would have a ride back to earth lmao), a break in routine to take her mind off of things + give some sort of legitimate excuse for not being able to talk to anyone. its a weird + temporary solution but his heart is in the right place and you know as scared as i think she would be (space travel is a Lot) i think she would end up having fun. it Would be new and exciting and most importantly, she would not be experiencing it alone. i mean, yes, he's been to space hundreds of times before, its not new for him, but he sort of gets to re-live that initial wow emotion through someone else and tbh thats pretty special.

i have more probably on this but its late so :p thats all there is for now

[slothcapsule]

Curious for your YouTube algorithm thoughts

THANK YOU RANDOM CITIZEN OK SO this is gonna be messy asf bc im on phone but i need it out there so. im gonna talk about just like Dream specifically because yes. this is gonna be a long post you can skip past it

so like the thing is about dream blowing up so quickly is that he knew and was confident that he was in fact going to blow up and he talks about it as a matter of fact like, he even said he told Sapnap and George to come along with him like he was confident that its gonna happen and 1. we love us a cocky man and 2. i wanted to know why so i went through his channel and old videos and i cannot stress how perfectly he executed manipulating the YouTube algorithm in his favour.

Most of it wasn't really luck, but there did have to be a certain point of skills for him to gain as much attention as he did, like obviously being cracked at the game but also being charismatic, he has an easy good personality and him being at something that so many people love was such a good set up like. minecraft was the perfect base for him to gain attention because it has such a wide audience and so many people love interacting with any of its content, its practically too easy. so its not really luck, just a happy coincidence.

That's the setup, just Minecraft and then we have the first few videos on his channel which are again- perfect for people to find his channel, and i like to imagine he had sort of a set plan before he started his channel of what he's gonna do, probably long the lines of something like this:

short videos that draw people to watch them in like 4am when theyre bored - clickbait someone everyone knows (in his case pewdiepie) those will make people discover his channel and gain him a lot of views because people are going to want to figure out what seed he used and they'd be curious about that, and some people would actually look for it.

there was also the "cursed video" era, they were satirical and funny and unoriginal and glorious because people love them, and they're the type of stuff that get recommended to minecraft enjoyers.

slightly more original content but isnt new if you think about it - slightly longer videos but in a subject that people are curious about (as he's done it- "the unsolved mystery of...." and a bunch of others, those will make people actually click his channel to seek more videos of the same idea

and then its a cycle of those two for a while, keeps people engaged and grow fond of his channel

but then he throws a couple of videos that will make people stay there for him and not the content. aka the "minecraft but xray is on series" and it works, he keeps a level of engagement throughout the video and make people grow fond of him without them losing interest and draws out the video for around 20 minutes and thats when the mod videos started coming in

fully original content, with friends to keep the video from being dull (minecraft but... series)

and at that point he's practically made it, he just needed that little push to make all people flock to his content. thats where manhunt came in, in its early points at least.

i wholeheartedly believe that the speedrunning thing wasnt originally meant to be something to draw clout, if it was i reckon he wouldve made speedrunning videos before- but he started adding some speedrun videos and that helped people see just how good he was at the game.

but that's just like a very rough idea of it from what ive seen by scrolling through his channel, and he also talked about his name in anthony's interview, he said that Dream was a name he picked because everyone knew it, everyone knew how its spelled and its easy to remember, its just so well thought out and he just reached a point where he doesnt need those deliberate moves because now people use him for clickbait, hell even pewdiepie did.

it just. blows my mind no one else or not many other people really thought to do it the way Dream did or didn't manage to execute it as well because its such like, an easy thing to do sort of yk? you just need to have basic knowledge of how algorithms work. But thats just my opinion on it! feel free to add more if you want or if theres anything else you want to point out :D

[iaminjail]

Haikyuu!! Headcanons (because i'm bored)

im just gonna start off with my minimal gender + sexuality hcs bc those are the easiest to explain lmao

i'm sorry but kageyama is mega gay. like super gay. he's literally one of those "i've just never had time for girlfriends, ____ is more important" dudes like cmon

meanwhile i go with the (somewhat) majority and say hinata is bisexual, though i dont think he uses labels (half because he doesn't think they matter, half because he knows nothing about lgbtq terms lmao)

he just seems like the type where you show him a picture of a cute girl and he goes "oooo pretty!!!" and then you show him a picture of a cute boy and he goes "oooo pretty!!!" and you have to do a double take because you didn't know he liked men

kenma gives asexual vibes i can't totally explain it he just does

like the kinda guy to joke online about how he prefers eating cake to eating ass

anyways genderfluid kageyama is literally just self indulgent i have no reasoning for it so i'll just move on

ok anyways onto general hcs

the miya twins totally grew up with a bunk bed and would purposefully move around a bunch so the bed squeaked and it would keep the other awake

oh btw on the topic of sleeping; hinata's a hundred percent a starfish sleeper. at the training camp he'd wake up completely turned around on the floor on his stomach

honestly noya's probably the same too ngl

just with the added bonus of loud storing

tsukishima is a god at tetris. like absolutely a legend. he's literally one of those japanese players you always find on the leaderboard legit

kageyama doesn't play video games (this is just canon) but he does commonly play one. its called animal crossing baby

hinata visits his island all the time and sends him letters even though they could just text

speaking of texting; kageyama, sakusa, tsukishima, and osamu are the dryest dry texters in the history of texting. you could tell them they just got kicked off the volleyball team and they'd still reply "Ok."

bokuto has "i used to eat small objects as a toddler so now i'm basically 36% plastic" energy

akaashi probably reads classic literature in his spare time like a LOSER

that or those really depressing mangas that start with true love and end with somebody dying tragically

suga has definitely illegally set off fireworks at least ONCE in his life

yamaguchi still sleeps with stuffed animals specifically a 4 ft polar bear named pogo he had since he was 5 because one again he's just got that vibe

he hides it in his closet when company comes over tho. the only people who know are tsukishima and yachi (tsukki because he was there when yamaguchi was a kid, yachi because the bear accidentally fell out when she was there)

yachi, hinata, and kageyama are all besties sorry i dont make the rules

oikawa has probably worn makeup in public before (not like heavy heavy makeup tho just mainly like eye makeup)

on the subject of makeup stuff kageyama probably gets his nails painted by yachi sometimes bc he saw her wearing it and thought it would help them look better than he was already trying to make them

kita plays a game with atsumu and osamu where whoever starts a fight with the other gets a point. whoever has the least points gets free food on him at the end of the week

that's it for now. ik this isnt really a haikyuu blog but i just felt like putting down a bunch of my funny little thoughts about my favorite anime

[softnriot]

WEIRD ASKS: ODD NUMBERS. GO

MEG WHY

im also including this one bc its basically the same

i took out the ones i already did but you can find them in my ‘ask game’ tag 

7. earbuds or headphones?

earbuds, headphones hurt my ears

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

does water count?

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring/carabiner 

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

perfume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if youre going to read it look up content warnings beforehand)

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots

21. obsession from childhood?

i was obsessed w torture methods and specifically bamboo torture i thought it was so cool

23. strange habits?

all of em. i have to eat lots of foods like sandwiches by eating around the outside edge first then the inside part

25. first song you remember hearing?

idk but something by linkin park they were always playing in my house

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

exist ^_^ i love cold weather

29. best way to bond with you?

be interested when i talk about my interests and reach out to me to talk as i am a little baby and dont know how to start conversations. also let me send u stupid posts and reply to said posts lol 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

black mock neck, red dress shirt (unbuttoned top few buttons), ripped jeans and my black trench coat

or black button up, argyle sweater vest, overalls 

basically im queer is what were learning

35. average time you fall asleep?

HA!

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase bc theyre easier to pilot around if u need to go somewhere

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

both!!!!! i love lemon! uhhh well say lemon cake for now

41. last person you texted?

if it counts: a discord vent chat to complain about my second covid shot. if it doesnt: my friend chrissy 

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

leather jacket bc the one i have is comfy as hell 

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy 

47. favorite type of cheese?

string :) 

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

none really but sometimes when things suck i think my 5 tallies tattoo would look lopsided if i added another so i gotta get better

51. current stresses?

my covid shot is making me see shrimp colors (derogatory) and also math hw

53. what is the current state of your hands?

in pain?

55. favorite fairy tale?

this isnt really a faity tale but ive always had it told to me as one so im including it. the Funny Little Woman, an old lady faces a few oni after her dumpling rolls into hell 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

;-;

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

something stupid like nice cock or smthn. i keep saying noooo dont _ youre so sexy so maybe that. anything happens and im like nooooooo youre so sexy :’/

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

too many to count but for now uhh “I know a hawk from a handsaw” because im rereading hamlet

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idk but 4 of them are by cobra starship

65. any permanent scars?

yep :)

67. good luck charms?

green lights, the number 22, an unexpected piece of food i like

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i think i know how i learned most fun facts but uhh a fun fact for you: baby bunnies are called kittens and also bunnies, horses, giraffes, etc cant throw up.

71. least favorite pattern?

really big spaces out polka dots

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

do milkshake and fry count or is that too not weird

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got hit in the face but i dont rmmbr how old i was. 

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

none bc im a plant killer but pothos looks pretty 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license so my id ;-;

91. boxes or bags?

depends for what but id say bags bc u can usually carry more than one at a time

93. nicknames?

all my names are nicknames but uhhh i like the nickname bunny/bun 

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye ����

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[sinceileftyoublog]

New Bums Interview: Married Couple Vibe

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Unlike the mathematical approach of Six Organs of Admittance or the wound jangly pop of Skygreen Leopards, Ben Chasny and Donovan Quinn’s New Bums is like its name: contemporary slacker vibes, loose playing, easy, gorgeous tunes. The band’s first record, Voices in a Rented Room, came out in 2014, and almost immediately afterwards, they started recording its follow-up. It wouldn’t be released until this March, as the more layered but just as lackadaisical Last Time I Saw Grace (Drag City). Both Chasny and Quinn write songs, and each plays off the other one’s style as much as presenting their own. For instance, on the energetic “Oblieration Time”, which juxtaposes soloing and acoustic strumming, Chasny attempted to write lyrics like Quinn. As for Quinn’s lyrics, more generally, Chasny’s instrumentation shifts them. “One of the great things about songwriting [is] the way the lyrics come across versus what they actually mean,” Quinn said on a Zoom call earlier this year with me and Chasny. “The same words can be funny, sad, [or] ironic depending on the instrumentation behind [them]. It’s really fun to see what Ben does.” Chasny agrees that instrumentation matters, not citing a general philosophy but rather a YouTube video with almost 10 million views that overlays a scene of Darth Vader visiting the Death Star with a snippet of Spandau Ballet’s “True”.

Indeed, the buddy quality of New Bums shines through when they’re in the same room--even a virtual one. They laugh and play with each other and finish each other’s sentences, having been friends for a long time. But such a laid-back feeling wouldn’t be possible without each member’s distinct personalities. Chasny, knowing I was set to interview Chris Corsano later that day about his and Bill Orcutt’s excellent Made Out Of Sound, had me communicate an inside joke to Corsano, with whom he shares a band, Rangda. (The joke? Telling Corsano that he should make a pack of beats called “Chris Corsano’s Breakbeats,” to which Corsano cackled and replied, “You’ve been talking to Chasny.”) Chasny’s also self-deprecating: “I’m not a very good violin player, but the last song has me on the violin,” he shrugs about Last Time’s “Follow Them Up the Slope”. And he forgets the titles of the songs, facetiously chalking it up to the album’s lyrical themes of decay. Quinn, simply, is humble and go-with-the-flow.

Underneath it all are some serious aesthetic and instrumental chops from the both of them, a mix of guitars, harmonium (the circular “So Long, Kus”), violin, and keyboards. Opener “Billy, God Damn” is twangy and layered. “Onward to Devastation” features tasty riffing following the lilting folk of “Marlene Left California”. “Wild Dogs” shimmers, while “Hermitage Song” stuns with deep string textures. All in all, Chasny and Quinn talk about these songs with the same exuberance they do their other projects, or music by Corsano and Orcutt, or even legendary records by 90′s German drone artists. Music fans make music makers, and music bums never fade.

Read my conversation with them below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: What’s unique about Last Time I Saw Grace as compared to Voices in a Rented Room?

Donovan Quinn: I think both of the records come from the same place. A buddy record is the way I would put it, where it grew out of me and Ben in a room, playing two guitars, talking about ideas and records we admired. This one, we built the songs up a little bit more, added some layers to the songs with overdubs, and really added some depth to a lot of the compositions with vocal and guitar work and different synths, whereas the first one we tried to keep it as barebones as possible.

Ben Chasny: Yeah. I would say the first one was more slopdog, like a mutt running wild, and this one isn’t showdog level, but trimming up the dog a little bit, teaching it a couple tricks.

SILY: Maybe album 3 will be showdog. 

BC: Yeah. I think it’ll probably take a poop right in front of everybody, but it will still be up there.

SILY: Those layers are what I noticed from the get-go, on [opener] “Billy. God Damn”. Is that why you decided to have it first on the record and release it ahead of time?

BC: We ran through a number of sequences on the record. It just felt like a good one to start out with. There are definitely more vocal layers on this than the other record we did for sure.

DQ: Yeah, I don’t have a clear memory of recording a lot of these songs because we did it over a long period of time, and “Billy God Damn” is one of those songs. I think we put it first because it set a good tone for the rest of the record.

SILY: The sequencing definitely struck me. It goes back and forth between more up-tempo tracks like “Obliteration Time Two” and more lilting tracks like “Marlene Left California”. Is that something you had in mind when ultimately deciding on the order of the tracks?

BC: I think so, yeah, trying to balance it out without having one of the sides of the records being too much one direction.

SILY: I love records like this where the palate is mostly vocals and guitars but you throw in a wildcard like the harmonium, or the cello on “Street of Spies”. It makes those songs stand out.

DQ: “Street of Spies” has our buddy Jason Quever on cello who has a band called Papercuts. I work a lot with Jason and he was kind enough to put some cello on that one.

BC: He did the drums and some of the strings on the first record, too.

SILY: You could say the whole album has a loose quality, but on that song especially, you kept the false start and the countdown from the live recording.

DQ: We do like that kind of sketchbook vibe with our records.

BC: [laughs] I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say, Donovan.

DQ: I’m not gonna say what you think I’m gonna say...Me and Ben have known each other for so long, it’s a married couple vibe where we know what the other person is gonna say or is thinking...With the way you can record records now, it’s pretty easy to really get things lined up and cleaned up. We thought with New Bums, it would be kind of a nice contrast to not do that, to keep things a little bit frayed.

SILY: It goes with the aesthetic suggested by the band name, too.

DQ: Yeah, exactly.

SILY: Did anything inspire the lyrics specifically?

DQ: Not anything specifically, but over time, both me and Ben writing, we kind of developed a sense of a type of record lyrically, and it seemed to be a lot of songs about decay and certain kinds of desperation. We built from that, not totally consciously, but everything seemed to gravitate towards it.

BC: I will say, when I wrote some of the lyrics to the song “Obliteration Time”, I was actually trying to write songs like Donovan’s band Skygreen Leopards, and I was hoping he would pick up on it. I was like, “Did you pick up on it?” He was like, “No, I didn’t at all.” That was what I was trying to do.

SILY: In some ways, you still have a ways to go in your marriage, then.

BC: Yeah, a lot of ways.

SILY: What were you going for on the first line of “Street of Spies”, “Who gives a fuck about clemency?”

DQ: You know, I don’t remember. And when we were listening back to different vocal takes, there was one that was so unusually angry for me that Ben was saying I sounded like Rage Against the Machine or something, so we changed it. I don’t know. It’s just meant to have the language contrast the mellow vibe of the song. I like that style when if you have a mellow song with lyrics that contradict that feel.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the album title?

BC: It’s a line [on the album]. When you listen to [the] song, you realize it’s the name of a woman, Grace, but in context on the front of the record, it has a different meaning, which we thought would be kind of fun. You listen to the record, and you realize, “Ah, I see what they’re talking about.” 

DQ: That was kind of a last-minute title. I think we got lucky with it. It fits really well with the kind of themes developed in the record: decay, desperation, etc.

SILY: Is Grace a real person or just a character?

Both: Just a character.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the cover art?

BC: Donovan had the concept behind the art.

DQ: We were gonna see if anyone noticed this, but if you look at the first cover and the second cover, it’s basically the same elements, but we took things away. The first one has the two triangles, and it’s pictures of me and Ben, and this one doesn’t have any pictures. The idea is for every album to have the same basic design that takes elements away to eventually have nothing at all.

SILY: What are you gonna lose on the next one? One of the triangles?

BC: Possibly. That’s when I get kicked out of the band.

SILY: Or it’s self-titled, and you can use New Bums as the band and the title.

DQ: The other day, something cool happened that reminded me of the cover and the two triangles. It doesn’t totally work, but I did this video that heavily references ZZ Top. For the video, we bought a couple of ZZ Top magical keychains, and I was trying to open a box with it, but the fucking thing broke! But the two extreme points of the keys broke off, and what’s left looks a lot like the two triangles.

BC: The original record cover from the first record was based on one of my favorite records, pretty much a tribute to it, a band called The Black Vial. He did a record called Frozen Morning in maybe the mid-90s. He did 300 of them, this German guy, Liebried Loch. They were wrapped in black electric tape, and that’s what held the photograph on. This really gorgeous looking record, one of the most dark, depressing records I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s just droning on electric guitar on a practice amp, really distorted, singing songs like, “Black crows, flying no more!” We based the original artwork off that record and then modified it.

SILY: Have you thought about doing a live stream or socially distant show?

BC: We should try to figure out how to do it together. We still have to figure out Zoom. We may not do Zoom a lot. We’re more Google. We know technology.

SILY: You’re not Luddites?

BC: We have most of our meetings on Google Hangouts. 

DQ: New Bums has a lot of meetings, and we spend a lot of time together, so it’s surprising it’s taken us 5 years to do two albums and two tours. 

BC: We do have some great video footage from that tour a couple years back filmed at a bookstore in San Francisco called Adobe Books, and I think we’re gonna put that out for people to check out.

SILY: Were some of the songs from this record performed there?

BC: Yeah, we [did] “Cover Band”.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

DQ: I’ve been watching a lot of movies more than anything else. I have the Criterion Channel service, so I’ve been finding a lot of inspiration in that. I was just recommending the movie Close-up to Ben, if you want to feel that doing any kind of artistic endeavor might have some meaning, it’s worth it.

BC: I’ve been watching a lot of Poirot. That guy’s great. His relationship with Hastings is quite similar to Donovan and me, though I won’t say who is Poirot and who’s Hastings.

Last Time I Saw Grace by New Bums

[kyuala]

monsta x in são paulo (19.07.19)

hey y'all this post is to tell my experience during my concert and hi touch event of the we are here world tour last friday night 🤩 so buckle up bc its a LONG ONE but i divided it into categories so u dont have to read everything if u dont want to!

the concert in general: ok so the concert was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. there were about 7 songs i didn’t really listen to a lot or liked before the concert but even those were amazing and had me jumping and screaming and going crazy. they’re all SO much more beautiful irl which is like !!!!!!!!! HOW. and they’re so so SO talented all the choreos were incredible and their voices!!! sound even better irl. hyungwon asked minhyuk to sing a little bit of play it cool acapella for us and his voice 😭😭😭 so sweet it’s like honey. they brought hero back to life which was. an experience to see live tbh. i got to the venue line at 9:30am (10.5 hours before the concert) and i was about maybe 15? rows away from the stage (bc i had to go pee real quick as soon as they let us inside) but im like 158cm (5'2) tall so even tho i was standing on this little protection thingy to be taller i still couldn’t see them that well :( i dont think i saw any choreos in full bc of that but it was still amazing to see them do it irl. they all introduced themselves in portuguese during the first ment it was super 🤩 adorable! most of them only said “oi, eu sou ___” (“hi, i am ___”) but some of them had longer phrases prepared (maybe kh, jh and ck? i believe) which was so awesome to see!! during the second ment, hw talked about how some of their songs were composed by their own members and he did that to introduce “our maknae’s song” (aka mohae) and my soul left my body. after jealousy there was the first vcr which was like a youtuber au vcr and it was so!!!!! cute hyungwon, minhyuk and wonho giving us styling, skincare and exercising tips respectively, jooheon making a burrito he named "honey-to", kihyun and kyun teaching us how to make coffee and how to speak english resp and of course nunu's famous asmr mukbang 🥰🥰🥰 it was honestly superrrrr cute and funny i remember hyungwon trying to spell a word in english and just going "..........ne" after the first two letters and then kyun snickering skejdkksdk and jooheon making fun of ck for something and ck laughing the fakest laugh i ever seen in my life lmao and i also remember ki telling us to be careful about a lot of things but most of all our hearts bc he's gonna steal them 😷🤒🤕 but yes i loved it it was v cute and v funny and i loved how they were all interacting with each other even tho it was separate videos. after the unit stages, hyungwon revealed that joo had actually changed up his routine for a more samba-like beat specially for brazil 🥺 he confirmed that and we went INSANE and started showing them our own beat (a classic carioca funk "tchu tcha tcha tchu tchu tcha" that we fo with our mouths/words) and at first they were all like ??????? but then they LOVED IT and joined in on the fun. mh and kh were dancing to it the most and it was so funny. hyungwon or minhyuk then asked jooheon if he could incorporate our beat into his beatboxing and he said it was possible and then we were all just going TCHU TCHA TCHA TCHU TCHU TCHA while he was beatboxing along and he said it was difficult skdjkekddk around five or six different times they told us to take steps back and step a little bit away from each other so we wouldn't hurt ourselves or feel ill (hyungwon did it the most, he actually spotted a girl nearly fainting in the front rows and brought staff's attention to her and he only stopped talking about it/got more relaxed when they did something about it). during this same ment they talked about sn's and wh's different choice of clothing for their unit stage and said it was more daring and sexy and shownu said that kihyun actually chose those clothes for them lmao and ki said he chose them bc he knew us brazilian mbbs would love it and we were like wow. They Know we're whores love that. then someone was like "u chose that?? ur kinda conservative tho????" and ki said he's been "open-minded since birth" KDJSKFKDK rip conservative brothers but the way the lady translated it accidentally kinda made it sound that he was like. open for romantic/sexual advances and we were all like 👀👀👀 OKAY. oh also sometime during the concert one of them slipped and nearly fell doing something stupid (i think wonho or changkyun) skndkskdk the second vcr was the seven deadly sins themed and wow. the PRODUCTION. the absolute ARTISTRY of it all. wheres their oscar. it was honestly super cool but minhyuk was the only member that hadn't appeared yet and the only sin left was lust so we were all like 👁️😏 but then it said AGONY. ????????? it was kinda confusing but amazing nonetheless kyun wanted to shoot hyungwon but then he didnt bc the underlying message was that they all committed sins and blamed themselves but managed to find forgiveness by being together aw <3 a random moment that i dont remember when it happened was when kyun was speaking portuguese to us and he was trying to say "vocês querem curtir?" (which is something like "do you want to have fun?") but he messed it up a bit and accidentally said "vocês querem cu...?" which means "do you want asshole?" and we were all like BOY DKEJDKEJDIDKFKS i dont think he knows what it actually means but he corrected himself real quick and moved on to the next song 💀 for the second to last ment they tried to convince us the concert was ending (lmao) and there was only one song left, so we were all shouting "não" ("no") and they were like "we cant go??????" and we were like "no!!!!!" and they were like :/ oh well guess we gotta stay kdnskdjs they had the brazilian flag up there for some time but they also somehow got an lgbt pride flag there too for the pics??? before the ending ment kihyun said that they all have strengths, as i recall kyun's was writing cool songs/lyrics, shownu's was being fun, i think minhyuk's was having a voice like honey? and i dont recall the rest but when he got to hyungwon he just said "being very tall" and we were all like LMAO SAY SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT HIM!!!! and then he said an actual compliment lol for the actual last ment they each said goodbye to us, i specifically remember wonho telling us that the energy we had and him performing on stage for us reminded him of why he was a singer and why he had to be on stage 🥺🥺🥺 and shownu agreed 🥺 kyun(?) said even though he's going back to korea he's gonna feel incomplete bc he's leaving brazil, ki said he liked us so much he could have another 6 concerts here bc our energy would be enough to keep him going and then said something really greasy that i dont remember but obviously loved at the moment. and then they said they're coming back next year 🤩 and they told us to take care of ourselves and wait for them and come back next year (in a bigger venue, they said!) and they all had their pinky fingers up and were saying "promete" ("promise", but as in the imperative verb) to us 😭😭😭

the songs: i was going to put my videos in this post but there’s a video limit so i’m gonna post them separately later but the first song was shoot out and unfortunately i didn’t get to film any of it because i was in SHOCK that they were REAL PEOPLE and RIGHT THERE u know dkjskdkd then was hero and it was INSANE to see it live??? seeing them do the “i can be your hero i can be your man” move IN REAL LIFE????? not to be a kihyun stan but i had kihyun tunnel vision during the entirety of the song lmfao then it was trespass and the energy was INSANE everybody was going absolutely crazy to it esp during the chorus and jooheon’s “excuse my charisma"s!!! after the ment they performed party time and we had this fan project and the people in my area had yellow cellophane on their phone lights and the people in the back had green ones (brazilian colors) and we had them on during the entirety of party time bc they mention brazil in the song and it was just so 🥰🥰🥰 such a vibe! one of the only songs i actually danced to lol party time was next and also a ~vibe~ we all danced a lot to it and after it was over, during the ment, hw asked mh to sing a little of it for us and he was sooo happy to see us sing along and sing the entire chorus even after he had stopped! it was super cute to see him smile so proudly like that. and then it was the loml, my fave mx song, a booty call anthem that somehow moves my heart, miss mohae and as soon as i heard the first few beats i SCREAMED and i was the only one doing that before everybody else realized the song had already started but i didnt even have time to be embarrassed bc i was literally tearing up. honestly hearing it live was one of the best moments of my life bc i have this huge emotional attachment to the song and it was just all super special, i was screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs and dancing and jumping and yelling. seeing kyun’s rap live was amazing and you could actually SEE how proud he was seeing so many people sing a song HE composed you know? he let us rap most of his part bc he was just in awe and wanted to see us sing it back to him. and hyungwon tried to rap jooheon’s part but he got it all messed up halfway through it was SO CUTE and jooheon had an arm around him and was BEAMING WITH LOVE the entire time 😍😍😍 everyone was fonding HARD at him. and the crowd was SO loud during the "don’t kill my vibe, i be on your way, i be, i be on your way” part it was actually deafening. i only recorded one of the choruses bc i wanted to enjoy the rest of the song but here it is! the next song was one of the other lomls, miss jealousy!!! it was absolutely STUNNING!! and yes the crowd went crazy when wonho mentioned shownu and yes that hyungwon+changkyun part IS as overwhelming to experience irl as it looks. after the youtuber vcr came the unit stages and oh. my. god  mh, hw and kh came out first and it was just. so sexy and elegant. and the vocals? 10/10 LOVED that men in suit shit. then was jooheon's and changkyun's stage and HOLY. FUCKIN. SHIT. absolutely my favorite performance of the night it was EVERYTHING to me. the energy was super fuckin cool and we were all jumping around and screaming while they rapped in sexy robes over a cool ass beat it was awesome. in the middle of the performance joo tried to flip a water bottle (???) and he actually failed lol but we were so hype we didnt even notice/care we just hyped him TF up. he later apologized for it during the next ment and the real time translator lady said "desculpa" ("sorry") and changkyun said "yeah, desgupa" immediately after 🥺 then jooheon had a drum solo which ??????? i had zero fucking idea about i was just kinda standing there in shock while he absolutely murdered that drum set right in front of our eyes. AND THEN ck came back and started to rap along to his drumming and i know im saying this a lot but it was SEXY okay i have no other words they were both in muscle tees just out there being their sexiest selves UGH. and AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH then came wonho and shownu's stage and uhhhhhhh wow. SEXY AS WELL but also kinda angsty? idk but i loved it they absolutely killed it with the dance and they were wearing see through shirts and the crowd went insane. after that there were the songs i didn't listen to a lot or liked before the concert but they were all still amazing to me!! honestly, i do love u, white sugar and no reason were all SUPER cute!! AND THEN. miss myself came on and oh my god. it was a spiritual experience to see it live. absolutely amazing and breathtaking even though it's so simple. like it's just so elegant and moving. i had to close my eyes a couple times to feel the moment and it was an amazing sensation. also!! a few girls gave us free banners to lift after kihyun's high note and they said 주변을 돌아봐 내겐 다 너니까 꿈이 아냐 (shownu's line, "turn and look around, because you're everything to me this isn't a dream") and it was SO emotional to see a sea of these red banners showing them our love!! 

it was amazing AND THEN. dramarama oh my god it was so freakinggggg cool! to see the performance live, jooheon milly rocking right in front of my eyes... amazing. everyone went insane during rapline's first part. one of my fave performances for sure!! next song after the ment was oh my and IT WAS AMAZING!! the choreo was just stunning and the energy!! everyone was just jumping around and screaming the lyrics, esp kihyun's line before the last chorus!! and im absolutely obsessed with the choreo, honestly. then special and fallin' were SO COOL, just like the other upbeat songs, the energy was amazing, everyone was jumping around and screaming the lyrics. fallin' was especially hype as hell and minhyuk did this funny low voice dkjskdkd then it was alligator and listen. i hated it when it came out but when they performed it i had never loved a song so much in my life. it was CLEAR it was one of the performances they were working the hardest on and their talents were really shining through 😔 i had ki and shownu tunnel vision unfortunately i missed kyun's iconic hip thrusts sksjdks but theres always next year i guess! so they had just convinced us it was their last song but after a few mins hyungwon came back out and we met H.One hehe i didnt think i would like it bc i thought it would be mostly edm and i dont really like edm but it was just some really good remixes?? he played taki taki and mi gente and everybody went fuckin insane like i remember my knee hurting super bad during this part and he was just. chilling on the stage sjejdjsk BUT THEN CAME THE TRUE GO CRAZY AAHHHH GO STUPID MOMENT OF THE CONCERT: RODEO. boy was it a fuckin ride. truly the time to fuckin wild out at an mx concert. i think it was during this song that minhyuk (?) put a brazilian flag around jooheon's shoulders so we were even more hype!! last song was by my side and it was super calm and bittersweet and like a "goodbye, ily" song :( we had these paper hearts someone gave us and we kept them up for them during the entire song, it was so lovely

the hi touch: ok so the concert ended and we waited around 50 mins for the ht event to start and we were all in a single line that went behind a curtain and THEY WERE ALREADY BEHIND THE CURTAIN SO THERE WAS NO WAY TO PREPARE FOR IT KDJDJDJD they were all standing behind a table and on the other side of the table was some of their staff on a single line to keep people from taking pictures of them and we had to go through the line of staff and the table to see them/touch their hands. it was SUPER rushed i dont think i spent 3 seconds there. my brain absolutely froze bc it was my first time at a hi touch (or first time meeting a celebrity, ever) and it was like 7 people i love and admire all at once so i couldn't manage to say more than "hi" to them and just look at them in shock and i was going faster as they (staff) told me to go faster (stupid) but they were also telling us to use only one hand and not touch their hand with both of ours but fuck that lol so in general they are all real people which is insane??? but also they ARE all SO much more beautiful in real life. like they literally glow. my friends told me they would seem taller and skinnier than i thought but i honestly didnt have the time or the brains to think about that or notice any of that. hyungwon IS tall as fuck though

kihyun: just my luck, my first bias was the first one of the line. as i walked behind the curtain there was a taller girl in front of me in line so i couldn't see much so i had like no time to process anything ksjskdks as soon as i saw it was him i went "oh my god, hi" (yes in english bc i know he understands basic english and doesn't speak portuguese lol) and he was SO sweet like it was literally half a second but his face softened and he said "hiiii" back and gave me the sweetest smile :( hes an angel on earth and i can prove it ok. hi touch aside, he's VERY confident onstage and also VERY greasy lmao he was shooting greasy stuff at us left and right and we ATE IT ALL UP. but he's also incredibly sweet and funny but like we been knew. every time he said something greasy he would expectantly wait for the lady to finish translating so he could see our reaction and afterwards he ALWAYS had that smile where he gets those dimples below his eyes :( he's one of the most talkative members!

shownu: mistre hyunwoo was second in the line and i was still in shock from seeing the loml so all i said was "hi" and he honestly seemed confused that i, a brazilian, was trying to speak english to him, a korean DJJSKDKD but he said hi very quick and had this small smile. he's taller than he seems?? i think? at least onstage and he's also very bashful no matter what he's saying lol unless it's serious stuff like him agreeing with wonho during the ending ment

wonho: ok so i dont remember the order exactly after the first two bc i started to like. have brain death but i THINK it was wonho but i saw him VERY quickly. idk if it's bc i saw him right after shownu or if he was bending forward or what but he's actually shorter than i thought he was. he had the HUGEST smile on his face and was super excited to say hi back to my dumbstruck face lol he's also?? surprisingly commanding?? like he's not imposing or anything bc he's super gentle but he told us to be quiet while he was speaking (.......lol) bc we were screaming and when he started to speak again this group of girls continued screaming and he looked at them DIRECTLY, FROM THE STAGE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MENT, POINTED AT THEM and deadass went "i have already told you to be quiet twice" and everyone was like??? in shock bc we didn't know if he was serious so we were just like 😳😳😮😮 it was very bizarre honestly a surreal moment to see wonho talk like that to any monbebe ever (for the record im not saying he was rude or anything, it was just very surprising to see that happen). i clearly remember these 3 older ladies referring to him as "primo" ("cousin") for some reason during the entire concert and idk why but that's so funny to me? it's kinda stuck in my mind now im gonna start calling him primo. he ripped his shirt off a total of two (2) different times, maybe three, one of them unprompted and unrequested, during a slow song. love that for him

hyungwon: oh boy. here we go. when my friends told me he was the most different one irl and that he was incredibly prettier i was like ok and then i saw him on the stage and was like yeah alright he's a little different but nothing too exceptional but holy. crap. he was never my type but when i saw him face to face i think my mind literally blacked out. like my body was still functioning but my mind just completely shut down when i saw him smiling at me and saying hi. like that didn't happen with kihyun, one of my ULTIMATE BIASES, but it happened when i saw HIM, that's how beautiful he is. im not using any of these words lightly, but he's beautiful, pretty, stunning, overwhelmingly handsome, an angel. he's just indescribable. his hair is so long and pretty and his face is just so soft and beautiful and he has the prettiest looking lips. has heavy vampire boyfriend vibes also. one of the quietest members, i barely have any pics of him bc he was rarely ever on the big screen bc he didnt say much. tall as hell too

minhyuk: listen i am SO SAD about this i was so overwhelmed by hyungwon's face my mind completely blanked when i got to minnie and i have no idea what i did, i don't even know if i said anything or if i just stared at him dumbfounded sjejjdjsd i have no recollection of his face at ALL like my mind was not able to process anything after hyungwon BUT i know he is pretty as hell (wbk) and he's also even sexier on stage!! like his presence and his moves are just very sensual and he is one of the most talkative ones too! we already know that but he is SUPER funny he never missed an opportunity to do something completely bizarre i just love that funky lil cowboy HE HAD A COWBOY HAT OVER HIS CAP DURING RODEO AND HE ALSO WORE THE FUNNIEST BRAZILIAN FLAG SUNGLASSES DURING HIS ENDING MENT HERE HE IS

jooheon: yall. he is SO. so so so SOOOO much prettier irl like he doesn't LOOK any different like hyungwon does but he's just even more beautiful up close and he also looks taller than i pictured? his whole face was just lit up seeing us and he was super excited to be saying hi to me it was so sweet :( like i am actually even more in love with him now after experiencing that i even dreamed about him that night lmao and oh god I cant even describe how cute his eyesmile + dimple combo is irl 😔😔😔 he talked a lot too and he literally speaks in POUT whenever he said something most of the time it sounded like he was whining it was so cute jdjdjfjd but when he's performing he's a BEAST his stage presence is un-fucking-paralleled he definitely has the strongest one in the group. his mere being there just commands you to pay attention to him in awe it's just very inexplicable. he's just super cute and nice and an angel 

changkyun: oh god I didn't wanna write about my experience with him during the hi touch jsjsjdjs but im gonna try to keep this as neutral as possible. so after i got to jooheon he was the last in line (which was my ideal situation, my two biases - ki and him - in opposite ends so even if i did freeze when i saw one id have time to get over it before the other one) and when i got to him he didn't look at my face, he was looking at the beginning of the line (???) for some reason, so even though i grabbed his hand and said hi i dont remember if he even said it back and i didn't get to look him in the eyes like all the others, which made me really angry as soon as i walked out and then really upset bc i spent 110 reais to see them and one of my two faves didn't look at me when i was right in front of him, but u know it is what it is. i dont think he did it on purpose or that he's an asshole or anything like that, it's just something that happened and upset me. but aside from that, the thing that stuck with me the most out of the entire concert: HE IS INCREDIBLY!!! SEXIER IN REAL LIFE like all my friends who saw mx say hyungwon is the most different but for me it was kyun. he's SO MUCH MORE HANDSOME than in the internet, pictures really do not do him justice. and he has this really hot careless, cool guy attitude in general, like when they/we were hyping him up bc of mohae he was like 🤙🏼 he stared at the floor a lot while the others were talking and like. he knows he's hot thats VERY clear lmao. he's surprisingly talkative. he's very effortless with his moves when he's dancing and that's not saying he doesn't put in effort he just makes it seem so. easy and nicely flowing idk. he was wearing a cap during the hi touch and holy fucking hell he has the nicest profile ive ever seen. thats all

sidenote: PLEASE be careful when camping days before a concert or even hours. a LOT of the people who had spent too much time in line to be closer to the stage had to leave the concert halfway through bc they were literally about to pass out after having spent so much time with poor sleep and unhealthy eating/drinking. enjoy your concert but also take care of yourselves!!

[u-l-i-a-n]

Long triggering story ahead

Make sure to check the tags before reading further to keep yourself safe, okay?

Anyways, here’s the story of my abusive friendship that lasted 8 years.

I can pretty confidently say 2017-2018 was the hardest year of my life so far, but it was also the one that set me free from HER (avoiding naming her bc you could definitely find her otherwise)

I’m very very bad at math, so bad that I ended up having to repeat my last year of middle school, and I’d decided to go to the other middle school in the area so i wouldn’t have the same teachers. I was pretty quickly adopted into a fairly large friend group that liked to hang out in the library, SHE was apart of that friend group. she also sat next to me in math class, and we very quickly became friends that were nearly inseparable. 

At this point in time i’d gone a few years without any real friends and my social skills were very poor, as well as my anxiety rendering me nearly mute (it still does this, but it was worse before) as i was the closest with HER, she became my “anchor” in most social situations, where i could be comfortable talking with everyone if she was talking too.

This, was where the abuse started. Where she would playfully hit me in the arm. HARD. every day, multiple times a day. I’d complain and rub my arm and she would dismiss me saying she “hadn’t hit me that hard” (I got it confirmed with another person she let one of her punches out on that it was hard as hell, and lord help you if you hit her back with the same strength)

This went on throughout high-school, along with more and more manipulation, and emotional abuse. If i did something without her approval she would be angry with me, she wanted me to keep my hair long and would get angry when i cut it, even if it looked better. If i was getting new glasses and decided on a style that she hadn’t picked out she’d be angry with me, if i wanted to see a movie she didn’t want it would take weeks of begging and making deals to watch things i had no interest in to appease her.

It was frustrating, and we argued CONSTANTLY on every little thing. She lied, pathologically, and would always try and prove herself right by yelling and hitting me in the arm until i backed down, even on things that were obviously incorrect (like: ”all raccoons are born with rabies, only gay men can get aids, japan is filthy and people shit in the streets, Spanish is the same thing and Mexican” i know, fucking crazy)

*There was one particular event that took place sometime between freshman and junior year, where on the multiple prompting of “she’ll stop hitting you if you hit her back and don’t back down” where I took that advice, and in my bedroom when she was staying over (as she did nearly every weekend, even if i didnt want her to) she’d hit me during an argument and I hit her back, this went back and forth until she got angry and angrier, until suddenly i was on my back with her hands wrapped around my throat. I remember staring at her in the eyes, until slowly she let me go. She said she didn’t know what happened, that she had “blacked out”. She didn’t apologize. I forgave her.

During this time, the friend group that we were apart of bisected and grew in different parts, some being the kids interested in theater and some being interested in other nerdy things, like video games and anime. A lot of the time, the few other friend that i had that weren’t HER often asked me “why are you still friends with her, she treats you like shit” and you may also be wondering at this point “Ulian what the hell why were you still around this person???”

Well, I’d convinced myself that she needed me, like i had once needed her as a buffer and anchor for social interaction, that i somehow owed her my patience and forgiveness for the things she did, and continued to do.

A certain event led to us breaking apart for a time, that event being her handing me a letter after several weeks of telling me how angry she was that i continued to interact with someone she didn’t like (even after she’s lied about the person being mean to her, but at this point i knew over half the things she said were lies) the letter, in briefest terms, was her blaming me and how i acted for her wanting to kill herself. She literally wrote the words “You make me want to kill myself”(hypocritical since her stance on self-harm was that people only did so for attention and people who committed suicide were weak) I couldn’t handle it, I couldn’t handle the idea that something i did would have made someone want to die, and couldn’t handle that she’d just slip me a letter about it while at school and expect me to be fine.

My depression got worse, i avoided her for a time and my mental health was bad enough that it had a physical effect on me that other people commented on. I thought i was sick, and missed about a week of school.

eventually, and unfortunately, we made up. With me conditioning that she needed to treat me better, specifically “hey stop hitting me maybe??” and for the most part she did, slowly she stopped hitting me and things were much better. for awhile at least.

skipping forward a bit, we graduated, and she convinced me to go with her to college (we lasted 2 semesters and then stopped). Eventually she convinced me to start working with her at our local grocery store (bad idea) She constantly pointed out that my home life was shit and I was eager to move out of the house, and after finding a third roommate, I was living in the same house as HER (horrible idea)

although her hitting me was now something that happened very rarely, her manipulative tendencies and emotional abuse increased. And also spread to the people around us. While living together, any small mistake i made was blown up out of proportion (like not doing the dishes when she said to even though she never ever did them) and she made it seem as if i was lazy, as if i was childish and needed her in order to function. she made it so the way she treated me made sense to other people, and that i deserved how she was acting towards me.

She even threw me a kiddie themed birthday party for my 21st birthday, with a bunch of baby decorations, like think winnie the pooh themed stuff.

She constantly undermined everything i said or did, made me out to be irresponsible, invaded my privacy by forcing me to let her use my phone and computer and give her access to it, told people my secrets that i told her in confidence and bad mouthed me behind my back (as i found out from our 3rd roommate and also my GRANDMOTHER)

She also made me feel as if I couldn’t return home, that my home life (which isnt great but no one is degrading or hitting me hmmm) was horrible and that i couldn’t go back there, which i later realized was her manipulating me into feeling as if i HAD to stay with her and had no where else to go.

Living with her made all the things she did and the horrible way she treated me pile up, and left me short tempered. I knew that something needed to change, and I thought that I could get through to her and have her change how she was behaving.

We argued again, after the time she had choked me i’d backed down quite a bit, and started hating arguing since i knew she’d never listen to me. This time, once again, i argued and didn’t back down when she yelled at me.

So she SCREAMED at me, loud enough to make the house shake and have my cat try to intervene, and she threw the closest object she could find at me full force (a penny, but still scary as hell in context)

I was quiet, and I waited for a time for her to calm down. i asked “Are we going to talk about this.” and she replied “No.” And i walked out the door.

Because when i get truly, viscerally angry or upset, my response is to remove myself from the problem. I walked out the door into the night to calm myself down, shaken from the realization of the situation i was in and knowing that I couldn’t stay with her.

I began telling our other roommate and her boyfriend about the things she would say to me about them when they weren’t around, I’m not very proud of going against someones trust but at this point i was desperate to have someone on my side and willing to help me get away from her when our lease was up.

During this time she had manipulated me into coming to conclusions that i would NEVER come to on my own, such as thinking our roommate who had clinical depression only wanted attention, which is something that someone who also has depressions and many friends with depression and actively learns and cares for people with mental health issues wouldn’t ever think on my own. its not in me to think badly of other people for no reason, while she (her words) hated everyone around her by default.

eventually our roommate confronted her, and she managed to twist things around and cause a lot of tension, leaving me feeling trapped and hopeless in a house with someone who had the potential to hurt me, and also my pet cat.

She threatened things i cared about and intentionally tried to upset me, specifically threatening my cat, who is a huge emotional support for me. It sounds funny, saying i was upset because she threatened my cat, she and her mom laughed about it. no one laughs when i tell them what she was saying.

Things like “I’m going to hold her down in the drive way and have (roommate) run her over” and “I’m going to shove her in the oven and cook her alive for you to find her when you come home”

Yea, not funny. you can see why i was upset about it. She apparently couldn't, and refused to stop even when i asked her to repeatedly.

She also fully knew that i was pansexual, hell i was the reason she was even slightly okay with people in the LGBT+ community. She wasn’t great about specifically me though, and when i told her about being nonbinary she made fun of my chose name (called me Uvula) and refused to call me by my preferred pronouns.

When I came out to our roommates she said she would never call me by that stupid name or by they/them because i don’t “act nonbinary” (get a load of this guy)

Her last day in the house, she was upset with me for going into her room to take back my heated blanket that she’d taken from my room without permission (my room was cold as hell, i wasn't going to wait for her to come home at 1 am and and she already had a heated mattress pad)

I took it back of course, and our roommate asked what she was upset about (roommate and her bf had bought some food they didn't want to share, which we already discussed was fine) I told her honestly and carefully didn't badmouth HER since she was already mad, and i wanted things to be less stressful.

She blew up at me while we were at work and came for her things that night to go back to her parents house. we took care of her cat until she could figure something out for it.

During this time and the time i last saw her, several things happened, since unfortunately we worked together

She cornered me in the bottle trailer (literally a semi-truck that has bottle returns in it in huge bins. she was standing at the door and could close it at any time) and called me a horrible friend, and also a huge bitch, while we were supposed to be working and she was in a position of power over me. I panicked and said nothing.

She often made me up to an hour late for my lunches, since she was promoted to manager, and liked to skip my breaks and all around treat me like shit compared to every one else.

Despite all of this. . . I still felt as if i could forgive her, if she somehow proved she could do better that i could be friends with her again. Until she ruined that for herself by telling me that my dead father would be dissapointed in the way i was acting.

 No. hell no. I was done, she didn’t deserve my forgiveness. And i finally realized that it wasn’t my job to “fix” her.

When the lease ended I moved back in with my parents, and I quit working at that job in September.

I haven’t seen her in over half a year and many of the people who knew me when she and I were close have commented on how much happier i am, and how much more confident i am in myself.

I’m sure i’ve missed a lot of things, and I know I didn’t really go over the positives of our relationship (There were some! i swear!) but if i did go over everything it would be the length of a novel.

I got away from someone who was hurting me, I decided my happiness was more important than catering to someones every whim, decided that i deserved happiness. And I learned to NEVER let someone treat me like that again, to surround myself with people who make me happy.

I hope, in whatever way, this story of my 8 year horrible friendship helped you.

And if SHE is reading this. . . Go fuck yourself.

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[startofamoment]

to all the WIPs i’ve loved before

rules: post your favorite parts of 3-5 fics that have been sitting abandoned in your drafts for ages. (for extra shame, throw in when you last worked on each thing.) tag 5 other writers to reflect on their life choices. 

a pen pals au of sorts in which jake and amy share a desk and communicate via post-it notes (last edited: december 2017)

Amy is going to murder her deskmate.

The literal trash heap that greeted her last Monday was one thing, the sticky orange soda stain from last month was another thing, but this – this blatant disregard of property and boundaries and the sanctity of office supplies – is the Last Straw.

Spread out across her entire desk is a good fourth of the Post-it notes from the brand new assorted set she got from her brother Tony. They’re all arranged to look like various Star Wars icons, and a few of them are filled in with marker for apparent color correction. It’s horrifying.

Grumbling, she begins taking apart Post-It Yoda, keeping the salvageable pieces in a stack and throwing out the rest. When she’s cleared her entire table, she grabs her favorite pen and a fresh sheet then writes:

Hi, Please refrain from wasting my Post-its in the future. Thank you. - Det. Amy Santiago

She stares at it for a moment and decides, since this is probably the only passive aggressive note she’s going to write her deskmate, she might as well add:

PS: I would appreciate it if you would leave our desk clean at the end of your weekend shifts.

After checking it over once more, she places it in the center of her desk, ready to be read the following Saturday.

a dianetti cake shop au in which rosa owns and runs a store called arlo’s (last edited: june 2017)

Gina takes a moment to look over some of the cakes on display before clearing her throat and leaning over the counter. “’Scuse me, can you help me get a custom cake order started?”

“Sure.” The baker wipes her hands on a dish towel before grabbing a small notebook and pen from one of her pockets. “What’s the occasion?”

“Some old geezer’s leaving our precinct to enjoy retired life, or something like that.”

“Retirement party? Cool. Tell me about this guy.”

“Oh, sweetie, I don’t know or care about him. I’m just here cause my boss told me to order a cake.”

A smirk forms on the baker’s lips. “Ha. Do you wanna just do a standard cake order then? I usually do the custom cakes for more personalized, special events.”

“That’s probably smart. Which one of your standard cakes say: ‘Congrats on being old and rich enough to never work another day in your life, but sorry you’re almost dead’?”

She snickers. “I don’t know about that first part, but how ‘bout an angel food cake as a ‘hope you go to heaven when you die’ sort of thing?”

Gina grins and fishes through her purse for her wallet. “Oh, you should know my expectations on this cake are out of this world high. I’m only here because Yelp told me you’re the Beyonce of baking.” (Actually, she’s here because at least three reviews claimed the baker-slash-owner was “terrifying” and “gorgeous.” – They were right, on both accounts.)

a sequel to i could listen to you all day // the “after ever after” story in which jake and amy navigate their first year together as soulmates (last edited: march 2017)

Jake’s phone buzzed on his desk, breaking him out of his happy daydream. He picked it up and opened a new message from Gina.

“god, quit making heart eyes at the new girl!! your conscience would be v disappointed, kiddo.”

Gina, who had been watching him like a hawk from her desk, expected him to get all flustered and to text or yell back something overly defensive. She raised a single eyebrow when his face instead broke into a goofy grin and he straight up giggled.

Across from him, Amy looked up from her case files. “What’s so funny?”

He shook his head and mumbled something about memes and the internet.

She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips curled up into a smile. After he redirected his attention to his computer screen, her expression morphed into the same openly adoring look he had on his face the entire morning.

And then it all clicked.

If Gina had stopped to think about it, she would have recognized the new disappointment she felt in both herself (for taking this long to put two and two together) and her childhood best friend (for not keeping her in the loop). As she had not stopped to process anything, she instead yelled across the bullpen: “OH MY GOD. JAKE AND AMY ARE SOULMATES!”

All work stopped, and everyone fell silent. For a good minute, all that could be heard was the faint snoring from Captain McGintley’s office.

“Gina,” Rosa half-snarled, half-whispered. “You can’t just say that.”

“Oops, my b. Y’all know I have no conscience now so…” She giggled, winked at the leather-clad detective, and went back to her game of Kwazy Cupcakes.

Jake let out an awkward laugh. “Well, uh, that was -”

Out of nowhere, Charles appeared right in front of their desks. “Is it true, Jakey? Was Amy the voice in your head all this time?”

“I -” He glanced at Amy for help.

She bit her lip and shrugged.

This wasn’t at all how he envisioned making the announcement, but there was no use denying it. Still looking straight at her, his face softened into a smile. “Yeah… We’re soulmates.”

Charles squealed loudly. “You said the S word! Does that mean it’s official?” He gasped. “Have you said ‘I love you’? Have you met each other’s parents? When’s the wedding? What are you naming your first child?”

pretty much a crack fic inspired by the media’s post-olympics obsession with tessa and scott // my spin on a vm au bc i still refuse to write jake and amy as ice dancers (last edited: may 2018)

Like many of the other bizarre situations he’s found himself in, this all started with Gina. Over the last year or so, she’d been posting random photos and videos of all of them at the precinct. (“I’m devoting my energy to my new project, Ginazon,” she’d declared to the entire bullpen. “It’s a one-stop online portal for my legions of followers. I’m just giving the people what they want!”) Given that this was Gina of all people, Jake wasn’t at all surprised to find out that each post garnered hundreds of likes, but he’d never bothered to venture into the comments section. He’d never known about the apparent niche following that had formed, the group of fans – for lack of a better word – waiting with bated breath for him and Amy to get together.

Charles had only spurred them on, what with all the various Easter eggs on his culinary blog. (“This place has everything,” he’d written once. “My co-workers Jake and Amy even gave it their stamp of approval after they’d shared a quick lunch there before a long stakeout. Make sure to ask for the winter salsa; it’s wonderful!”) He’d sworn that none of it was intentional and that he would never do anything to sell them out, but everything he’d written had still been catalogued and analyzed by the pseudo-experts of the fandom. At this point, Jake’s main regret is not reading Charles’ weekly email blasts.

Their downfall – or rise to viral glory – came when someone from the so-called G-Hive happened to be in just the right place at just the right time, catching their (second) completely-platonic, spur-of-the-moment, done-in-the-name-of-justice kiss on camera. By the next morning, “Undercover Cops Lock Lips Before Locking Up Wanted Criminal” had been viewed on YouTube over a million times.

With everything about the entire situation already being so weird, they’d decided to just ignore their newfound fame in the same way they’d pretended the kisses never happened. (“We’re a great team. We work great together. Nothing should mess that up,” he’d said, repeating nearly his exact words from the night before.)

Evidently, there was no escaping this though. A formal press conference was set up, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary for cases that caught the general public’s attention, except they’d ended up having to say more about their dating lives than the investigation or arrest. He can still feel his heart lurching in his chest at the first relationship-related question, still hear Amy loudly stammering out some vague answer about being “very professional.”

a smutty soulmate au in which jake and amy unknowingly share dreams every now and then (last edited: november 2017)

At this moment in time, Amy Santiago is undeniably, incomparably, drop dead gorgeous.

More specifically: she’s in the hot red dress Kylie convinced her to buy on their last post-trivia night celebratory shopping spree; she’s wearing a matching killer shade of lipstick picked out by her fashion-forward, shockingly sexual 13-year-old niece; and she’s got her hair swept into that one elegant yet fun side ponytail that caught her eye in a magazine a few weeks back.

Normally, she’d be proud of herself for managing to pull off such a look, except–

It’s been a good several hours since she tossed her dress into the hamper, wiped the makeup off her face, and tugged the elastic tie from her hair. She’d buried her head into her pillow and wheeze-cried herself to sleep shortly after changing into her pajamas, so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment over the night’s party-gone-wrong.

The thick haze shrouding her current surroundings tells her she’s in another one of her soulmate’s dreams, which helps a tiny bit in explaining her current appearance but really opens up more questions than answers.

tagging: @santiagoswagger​ @three-drink-amy​ @do-me-decimalsystem​ @arnie-santiago​ @sergeant-santiago

for the record, this was inspired by @disruptedvice​ and @elsaclack​’s responses [x,x] to the writing meme!! i thought it was super clever of them to feature little snippets from various works and felt this would be a good way to give unfinished/abandoned fics some love!