#& then i listened & was like FUCK THIS IS RELATED TO THE OTHER ONE
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'it's not much" <- 3700k words long
“To prevent our guard dog from biting,” Tubbo says wryly, when she finally flings the spoon away in frustration. “Punishment, they said.”
😭😭😭
Tbf, they would not stand a chance otherwise if they let Bad be absolutely free. And he should have been.
They hate them. The Eye. The spectators. The other contestants—the other victims . Them, and this damned mountain they call their home.
Crazy.
She knows she is a sinner. She just wants to be good.
Honestly, a powerful line. I will remember it for my demon characters in rp.
But also reminded this, lol⬇️
Pierre and Tubbo are gone, most likely down in the mines. Every piece of machinery they try to make ends up frozen over, so their current plan is to build their next attempt beside a pit of lava. Tina tries to tell them about the busted gears and cut wires she finds whenever they rig a new mechanism up, but they shrug her off. It’s not that they don’t believe her: they just can’t believe her. Tina doesn’t want to dampen their hopes.
Aw ;( Man, it was sad that Create didn't work when watching Purgatory, but reading it in a text like that, where everything is so much more real...
Pol is headed down to help Pac, but not after pressing a canteen of tea into Rivers’ hands. She catches Tina’s eye, and offers her a small wave. Rivers is a bit more of a lone wolf, but she is Tina’s favorite travel buddy on the rare occasion she ventures out.
I love Rivers so much. Have I ever told anyone how much I love her.
In the distance, she can hear Niki’s laughter as Missa excitedly tells her his plans for the day. All apple related, of course.
Apple boy :D
Bad kicks at the ground impatiently and Tubbo’s face turns pitying. “Sorry, man, I don’t think it’s right to take you. You can’t make any callouts and you haven’t eaten since yesterday. Just…keep watch, and we’ll figure out how to take that thing off tonight.”
Tubbo is right. He is so right. But also :(((((((((((((((((((((( Let my guy maim, he did nothing wrong
Bad growls, low and inhuman and right from his chest. Tubbo doesn’t flinch. He’s held Bad off before when he was much worse: rabid with bloodlust and fully armed. “Keep an eye on him,” he tells Tina, and brushes past them to the boats.
I will never not feel like taht⬇️
over Tubbo and Bad's dynamic in purgatory. It just makes my brain go haywire. Or honestly, Bad in all the Soulfire. It's just 'what if this powerful destructive being cared for you and let you be its keeper' AAAAA reminds me of one clingy duo fic taht is Doctor Who crossover, and Tubbo is a Time Lord that is known to be the perfect killer, The Virtuoso, but he lets Tommy hold his crown (the metaphorical leash here) and decide, where he can go apeshit.
ANYWAY.
For the rest of the day, Bad prowls the shore, back and forth, back and forth, like a restless predator. Usually, he never scares Tina when he’s like this, always adding in some dumb quip or joke. But his jaw is locked in place, so he doesn’t speak. He just hunts.
*giggling, twirling my hair and kicking my feet in the air* Евгений, вы такой опасный (<- a very niche russian meme)
A winter storm is upon them. It’s not natural—nothing down here is. This is a punishment specifically for them.
*sigh* of course it is
Tina whirls into action.
Leaving Bad be for now, she sprints over to where Niki, Lenay, and Missa are, and sends them down to the underground base with Pac. “Start a new farm there,” she tells them as she presses the last of their seeds into Niki’s hands. “Plant everything, remember to place torches. We need it warm and finished by tonight.”
Whenever she relays instructions, she’s always half-expecting a fight, and it stuns her every time when her teammates listen without complaint. Once they’re off, she begins dismantling the tents they’ve been sleeping in.
TINA THE GOAT. THE MVP. I LOVE HER. WE ALWAYS BEED TO TALK MORE ABOUT HOW EPIC SHE WAS AND AND AND *foaming, Anderson's Little Mermaid style*
“It’s so fucking cold here,” he complains. “Anything interesting happen?"
“I think it’s gonna snow,” Tina says dully.
Tubbo raises an eyebrow and points at the flakes swirling around them.
“No, like a snowstorm, idiot,”
They are both idiots <3
Tina watches as Tubbo examines the muzzle with the critical eye of an engineer. “How the fuck did they attach this?” Tubbo huffs, wrestling with the lock. Finally, he wedges the pickaxe between a weak link and strikes down, hard, and the muzzle falls to the ground.
Bad doubles over to cough, rubbing at his throat. “Language,” he mumbles, voice rough with disuse.
Bruh /affectionate
Tubbo ignores him, watching as Bad flexes his jaw. That’s their leader, Tina thinks, admiringly. He had done his job for the day: ensured Soulfire made it another day, brought back the monster they call friend to the playing field. Now, Tina thinks with trepidation, it’s her turn.
This makes me so so so incredibly happy for no good reason. This paragraph on standalone can make my dopamine levels shoot up.
Tubbo does, in fact, love the new base, and he tells her so, mind already racing with ideas for farms and contraptions.
Of course he does. It's the best base a Coach could need🥲
“No, I just—” Tina crouches down, sifts through snow. “ It’s all gone . This is—” Tears are coming now, and she blinks them away furiously. “I thought—” She slams her hand down into the snow. “ This was all I had! ”
I will kill everyone for you, Tina. Just point a finger. I will kill them.
The underground base is small, just one long, low-ceiling room, but they’ve made it surprisingly cozy. Lanterns and flowers hang from the ceiling, and a soul campfire crackles blue. It’s green and lush and warm in here, and the tension in Tina’s shoulders can’t help but drain away.
Home
As Tubbo searches for bandages, Trousers toddles up to her with a pouch of tea leaves and she takes it with a smile.
TROUSERS. I WILL ACTUALLY GENUINELY CRY. I MISS LIL BUDDIES.
“What did you do to get sent here, anyways?” she asks finally. “What are your sins?”
“I don’t know.” Tubbo shrugs. “Fucked around and found out, I guess.”
“Seriously,” Tina prompts.
“Seriously,” Tubbo agrees. “I tend to try and stretch the limits. Usually, I get away with it. But this time—”
“Fucked around and found out,” Tina finishes. “Yeah, I get it.”
My guy will press his forehead to the gun if only to know how long it will take the wielder to make a decision to shoot.
Would include a clip as proof, but unfortunately can't add videos to reblogs.
Tubbo falls silent for a moment. “We’re gonna win,” he says finally, and he has a viscous determination that sends a shiver down her spine. “We’re gonna win, and we’re gonna save everyone’s kids and then we’re gonna ram a sword through that motherfucker’s eyeball.”
And in a perfect world you did.
she’s missed the way he drives her up the wall.
“Oh, thank you, Bad. I can almost forgive you for being absolutely deranged” Tina
" No , Tina," Bad says, as if that weren't a perfectly valid question. "It's a bone saw. I thought you'd need it. They're growing back."
Tina cocks her head. "What?"
Bad motions to his head. "Your horns."
“You—” Tina’s stomach drops. “You know.”
“Well,” Bad replies, and his shoulders hunch. “So do you.”
AWW.
“Why do you always ask me these questions like it’s some test?” Tina says, frustrated. “Don’t you trust me?”
When Bad speaks, his tone is light. “Can I trust you?”
“You��re my team,” she says fiercely. “You. Tubbo. Everyone. And I’m not just saying that! I mean it. I’ll fight for you if you fight for me.” She wants to be needed, so badly.
Bad finishes his work. He hands the knife back to her, and she takes it by the hilt and slips it in her pack. There’s the barest hint of a smile on his face, sad and knowing. “Then I think we’re on the same page.”
Okay, this js just SO. I miss Team Soulfire. They were insane. In the most deeply soul-crashing way.
“I follow your instructions!”
“You do not and it stresses me out every day—”
Bad does not make it easy for Tubbo🤣 /affectionate
“Tubbo, you’ll die in fifty years and Tina and I won’t even miss you,” Bad replies petulantly.
Liar💙
“Oh, did she ask you too?” Tubbo spins on his heel, walking backwards so he can face them both. “Yours seem pretty obvious. No offense, Bad.”
“Offense taken,” Bad assures him.
They are horrible. I lovevthem.
“Let’s head back home, then.”
Tina swallows the lump in her throat. What a simple word, lovely and warm.
They head back home.
🥹🥹🥹
Okay, overall, I loved it to death. It was so good. I am just pacing in the kitchen. I need more. Please, if you EVER feel like writing more – do it. It's just. There's something just so. ARGH.
Thank you.
bone-deep | soulfire found family fic (tina/tubbo/bbh centric)
The night after they muzzle Bad, Tina tries to feed him spoonfuls of tea through the bars. It’s bolted under his jaw, allowing him to do little more than bare his teeth. But he lets her attempt anyways, eyes soft and patient even when her fingers tremble under the cold. All they have is tea. That, a few loaves of stale bread, and half-frozen carrots. All they have is tea, Bad can’t talk, and Tina is so cold.
Or: Purgatory AU, without the prior events of the QSMP. Team Soulfire tries to survive.
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horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs
i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food
you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)
#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children#NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT#i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3#i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored#IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem#anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh#i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up#i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable#a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none#got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook#and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea#i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content#it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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double trouble
#detroit become human#rk1700#the boys....baby boys....woobies...#listen i just think nines would have such an overprotective streak for connor..#he protecc and he want to attacc. connor will teach him well#my favourite headcanon is nines quietly admiring the hell out of connor and learning from him and his mistakes as well#choosing the most optimal way to exist within society. hes so impressed with connor who is bumbling terribly but doing his best#connor has the experience and higher social relations but nines is much quicker to catch on#they both admire each other and are pushed forward by each others existance and improvement#ive seen a few fanfics where they have that dynamic and its my favourite#they work so sweetly in a brotherly bond it warms my heart (though i am a shameless rk1700 enjoyer)#anyway thats enough rambling#i wish there was a dbh fandom still#im just throwing up doodles now with no thought of making any solid pieces yet#my art#dbh#rk900#connor detroit become human#also i know theres zero consistency with the art style and keeping them looking the same but fuck that i dont have the patience rn#also also lmao i just noticed but the top one looks like hes trying to kiss connor but no that was a continuation of bottom left sjdjfjdj#feel free to interpret it any way yoy want hajdjfjfjd
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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sorry for liking davejade in 2023 btw its in a cool way though
#hs#davejade#like that one person said bi4bi cool silly girl and her lame ass court jester bf who enjoy each others company a lot#“its boring” well not everything has to be conflict sometimes it can be two people really vibing#and being good foils to each other and just sort of being like a lock and key#i dont dislike davekat but i felt like they bickered too much which is Funny dont get me wrong#but i like davejade for different reasons#in that i feel like dave is at his most heartfelt with her#bc jade doesnt do anything to warrant snarkiness. she doesnt make him uncomfortable and that earns his trust like a lot#ppl say its boring cause its a mf ship and they dont get them like i do#and my answer to that as an agender person is who the fuck cares#i hate ppl dismissing mf ships out of hand like…hey bi ppl exist. and even if they were straight they still got a good dynamic#of care and interest towards each other#hes not her knight in shining armor bffr. she has uhhh fucking GUN#they are Equals#jade slaps the shit outta people on more than one occasion lol#they infodump to EACH OTHER and they both listen#remember when jade wanted to infodump to john about physics remember that#dave would eat that up like oh damn that so dope and tie it back to time or whatever. special relativity#since space and time are fundamentally related#sorry im running on fumes rn i didnt sleep last night#ALSO THEY HAVE MATCHING ALCHEMIZED OUTFITS#jade’s dead shuffle dress and dave’s four aces suited both use a midnight crew poster as ingredients#i should draw them together in that mspa style#maybe theyre not even romantic. who said ships had to be. its short for relationship#well theres multiple kinds of relationships. what if they were queerplatonic
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DECIMATION ROW
Decimation: Myth, Discipline, and Death in the Roman Republic, Michael J. Taylor / Spartacus: War of the Damned, Decimation
#anyway. so. tune in next month when i do a talk on why it's so easy to Other code crassus (queer coding or other wise)#(this is a joke im not going to do a talk. if i did i'd spend an hour getting into All Of That with kore and caesar in the starz show)#so. SO! wow. wuehghgh. heurhghh#been thinking on this one a lot. like. babygirl what is WRONG with you#narratively or otherwise#like i know what's wrong with you but my god#i was listening to 2pm's Cafe the whole time i was making this and the tone dissonance was very funny#related and unrelated:#i deleted a whole novel of tags talking about how fucking wild the kore-caesar-crassus stuff was#but if you leave starz off your lists of republicaniana media bc you think its cringe#you're a coward and i hate you specifically#comparatives tag#marcus licinius crassus#blood cw
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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I gotta quit this job lmaooooo
#the fucking security guard#he came into the office today and was like hey I learned something disturbing about monster energy drinks#and I'm thinking he's gonna say something health related cause he's said the one time he tried one he lost his vision for like 15 minutes#uh but no#apparently he was listening to the joe rogan podcast 🙄#and he heard that something about the logo makes it look like the Hebrew letter 6 so it spells out 666#and there's a cross on the can that when you tilt it up to drink it turns the cross upside down#and like idk maybe that is true#but now he's claiming that's why he lost his vision when he drank one that one time#honestly I didn't hear the rest cause I put my other earbud in so fast lmao#I gotta quit this job aaaaaaa
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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yes i excluded all i want for xmas bc it's in its own category as greatest xmas song ever. she's got 19 total so i ruthlessly picked my personal faves :)
#poll#polls#music poll#tumblr poll#inspired by how i was listening to mariah's greatest hits the other day#shout out to my BFF who turned me into a lamb when we were roommates#i did like her before but never like sought out her music#also my answer is one sweet day that song makes me cry and i'm not even relating it to anything bc#it's just fucking good lol
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something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍
#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST#talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it.#talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix#paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to#immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them#not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely#myself in my head yk#and it's so isolating#and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it#oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this#< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as#into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be#like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine#it's so fucking isolating#i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like#fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely#< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭#it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do#and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense#because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying#and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality#just if i talk about something a little too much#bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me#but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are#idk#anyways !
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i had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore
#literally just like. listening to sad taylor swift songs.#fucking ouch!!!#not even just the ones that i am relating to at that point in time#they just make me fucking SAD !!!!!!#they make my TUMMY HURT!!!!!!!!#and i honestly can't even think about lover i can't think about it! i can't do it!#it makes me SAD !#more than any other sad music does
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i’m not sure if it’s the majority of people i’ve been talking to or if there’s something fundamentally broken w me or if it’s the way dating has been gamified but i swear to god no-one asks questions back or has an overall curiosity about the other human being in the conversation and it makes me want to drop every chat i have within two to four messages
#stop talking AT ME#respond to my question and then ASK ME ONE IN KIND#i’m sure every human being can be interesting so long as we give them space to and i am so FUCKING tired of not being given the space#and you know what! i don’t want to MAKE the space either#i don’t want to be endlessly relating to what YOU respond to#i want you to have made the space for me. so we can relate to each other#BEGGING. BEGGING to be asked questions in response#to anything. to an innocuous sentence. to what are your hobbies to why do you like them#to what you’re listening to today#ANYTHING!!!!
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so a while ago i made my alarm clock a news reader and today i woke up to a man saying ''news has just broken that liam payne aged 31 has died, falling from a balcony in buenos aires'' right next to my ear
fucking horrifying, i've never woken up that fast
#i'm shaken to the core#it was literally half an hour ago and i immediately spent like 20min scrolling through tiktok to see ppl talking about it#bc the first thing i thought about was how this happened now right when all that shit came up and ppl have been making fun of him#and shitting on him#- for completely valid reasons! bc of the allegations and ppl stepping forward etc but still#and i have to say i'm incredibly thankful that i've clearly interacted with the right ppl/accounts on there#bc the algorithm pretty much only showed me ppl talking about how it's important to remember that you're allowed to feel to things at once#that you are allowed to grieve him and still acknowledge what he did#that what tmz did was despicable and that he and his family didn't deserve that#and that you still shouldn't fucking harass the girls who came forward about him and you should still listen to them#that you can grieve for the version of him you thought he was when you were younger#and still be angry at the person he had become these past few years#and for the love of god to not harass the family or the other 1d members for tributes or harass maya henry or anyone else related to it#i think i might still be a little bit in shock#i can't feel anything#it just feels so surreal#1d was literally the reason i came to tumblr the reason i found fandom as a concept and it was a huge part of my life for so many years#so despite not being the biggest fan of him specifically esp lately it's still a huge shock and horror somehow#i remember thinking when i was younger that one day i would hear that one of the 1d member had died#and it felt insurmountable and absurd and horrible#but most of all i was just so sure it would be waaaay down the line#not now#anyway i just needed to come and let it out#rambles#ignore me
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assigning a character the highest honour like *adds go home by julien baker to their playlist*
#and by honour i mean pointing at them like TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED!#like yeah relating to this song is a red flag actually. yeah it's one of the most personal songs in the world to me#and i actively am not allowed to listen to it some days bc it makes me significantly worse#even if im in a GOOD mood because of the layers upon layers of emotions ive associated with it#yeah i literally wont even blorbo post to this song even if it's accurate to a character because it's so personal#so they have to be REALLY FUCKING SPECIAL AND FUCKED IN THE HEAD to get this honour. enter touya#i made him a playlist im going crazy like yeah actually of course i was always gonna be weird about him#like he's got fire themes. he's got body horror. he just wanted to be good. he's ethel cain coded. he's georgia coded#he's got mommy AND daddy AND sibling issues. he's the only other character ive let even come close to mary on a cross#he's a waiting room girlie. he's an archer girlie. im tearing my hair the fuck out of my scalp#why does the first character ive latched onto this hard since CHUUYA have to be from mha of all things#like that's embarassing for me im embarassed to be here. and yet#touya todoroki#the thing that makes me sick about touya is yes the abuse he went through via his quirk and his dad etc etc#but also bc sekota peak happened when he was 13 right? and he's 24 now? that's 11 years unaccounted for#like ik it's confirmed his burns put him in a coma for 3 years and all for one and the dr guy just stapled his stubborn self together#which is something else i will YELL MY HEAD OFF ABOUT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HE WAS A CHILD STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT#but im pretty sure it's confirmed that after 3 years he goes off again on his own? which still leaves him as a teenager?#like he straight up burns himself alive at 13 wakes up at 16 and reappears at 24 with dyed hair and piercings and a bad attitude#and im not supposed to wonder? or get upset? like i absolutely am leaning into the 'he was on the streets' angle bc i hate myself#and that's devastating and also what alternative is there logically like he has NOTHING#no home no money no name that he can feasibly use not even an appearance that will warrant anything but more cruelty#so youve got this child on the streets with injuries that absolutely cause insane amounts of pain daily he's literally STAPLED together#and he's completely alone and the only thing getting him through is this growing hatred and rage#like id set all my plans around killing the guy that put me there too actually just to fucking get me out of bed in the morning#I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. WHERE WAS HE FOR THE PAST DECADE. HORIKOSHI PLEASE#I WANNA GO HOME IM SICK THERES MORE WHISKEY THAN BLOOD IN MY VEINS MORE TAR THAN AIR IN MY LUNGS#PIERCE MY SKIN NEEDLES TO WORN OUT RAGS THE FOLDS IN MY ARMS THE SICKENING BLACK AND I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS#I KNOW MY BODY IS JUST DIRTY CLOTHES IM TIRED OF WASHING MY HANDS GOD I WANT TO GO HOME
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