#& then i listened & was like FUCK THIS IS RELATED TO THE OTHER ONE
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Freckles and Brownies
Felix x fem!reader
Warnings: spicy dreams, some smut (not deep), and reader is slightly older MDNI
Genre: neighbors/friends to lovers, fluff, smut
Summary: Your sweet neighbor Felix has the biggest crush on you. You try not to give in, but he's way too irresistible.
You knew he was coming over even before you heard the knock on your door. Your apartment building had the thinnest walls in the history of thin walls - it was pathetic really.
But you liked your cute little apartment a lot - it was quiet (most of the time) and comfortable. Then there was Felix, your sweet neighbor who lived next door with his roommate, Jisung.
Felix was a joy to have around, because he was kind, considerate, and he always had a smile on his face. And he was totally obsessed with you.
He loved to bake and every time he baked, he would knock on your door, with a box of such yummy treats.
“Hey, I made extra. Thought you might like some,” he’d say, handing them over, with the softest smile on his face.
And your heart would skip a beat because, seriously, he looked like a fantasy wrapped in an apron.
Yes, you thought he was adorable. But he was your neighbor and you knew he was a few years younger, and so, adorable or not - you never crossed that line.
So, you pretended not to see the way he constantly blushed around you or the way his eyes would always linger a second too long. It was so hard, when he was right there in front of you, baking brownies or cookies every other day just so he could come and see you.
You had to draw a line. You had to.
The night was quiet, except for the soft tapping of your fingers on your keyboard as you worked. You were in bed, hair pulled into a messy bun, a mug of tea in hand, trying to meet a deadline you couldn’t ignore.
Your focus, however, was shattered by a noise from the other side of the wall. The very wall that separated your apartment from Felix’s.
At first, it was very faint. A low, muffled groan. You paused, fingers hovering over the keys, straining to listen. Maybe Felix was having another one of his late-night gaming sessions with Jisung?
Then it came again. Oh that's definitely not related to gaming.
You froze. Because that was a moan. A low, breathy moan. And it was your name.
“Y/N…”
Your stomach dropped. No way. NO WAY!
But then you heard it again. And again. His voice, soft yet clear, filtering through the paper-thin wall separating your bedroom from his. The sounds that followed were unguarded, raw, and so unbelievably... dirty.
“Oh, God, Y/N…”
Your entire body flushed with embarrassment and something else entirely. You slapped a hand over your mouth completely scandalized.
Ok, you knew he liked you, but this? He couldn’t be…was he seriously…?
You quickly shook your head as if that would help banish the thought. No. Felix was sweet and innocent and, okay, not innocent, but still.
But then came another sound. This one unmistakable the creak of a bed frame, followed by a low, guttural moan that sent your imagination spiraling to a whole new level.
“Oh, fuck,” you heard him whisper. “So good…”
Your hands shot to your headphones. It wasn’t even a choice at this point - it was pure survival. You jammed them onto your head and cranked up the volume on your playlist. There.
Not that it worked. Because no matter how loud the music, you could still hear him in your head.
You buried your face in your hands. You weren’t supposed to be hearing this. You weren’t supposed to be thinking about how Felix - sweet, blushing, brownie-baking Felix - was currently doing whatever he was doing!
---
Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall…
Felix was lost in his dream, blissfully unaware of the chaos he was causing. In his dream, you were standing in his kitchen, wearing one of those pretty sweaters he always saw you in. But this time, the fabric was slipping off one of your shoulders as you leaned over the counter, a teasing smile on your lips. Oh he could see way more than just a bit of skin.
“Do you want a taste?” you asked, holding up your fingers dripping with chocolate.
He swallowed hard, his voice barely functioning. “Y-Yeah…”
You laughed softly, dipping your fingers into your mouth, licking them clean yourself.
“You have to ask nicely, baby.” you whispered.
His dream-self didn’t hesitate. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer, his lips crashing into your chocolate stained ones in a kiss so desperate, so needy, it made his whole body ache.
Felix let out a deep, throaty groan, clutching his pillow tightly as his dream-self pushed you against the counter, rutting against you like his life depended on it.
He pushed his face into his pillow, his hips moving against the mattress for some friction. He snaps awake, feeling a bit disoriented, but so damn hard and needy.
“Y/N…” he whispered, his voice so deep and raw. “I need you…”
His hand slips into his sweatpants, trying to help himself out of this mess, face still pressed into his pillow.
---
You yanked off your headphones, groaning in frustration. This was ridiculous. You were a grown woman. You could handle this.
You groaned as you heard another moan followed by the creaking of his bed (more frantically), and you threw yourself back onto your bed, burying your face in your pillow to stifle the hysterical laugh bubbling up in your chest.
This was insane. Completely, utterly insane. How are you supposed to face him tomorrow? You can't, not after this.
—
The next morning, you're walking down the hallway, so fatigued and sleep deprived after you spent the whole night unable to fall asleep. You were dressed for work, your bag in one hand, your phone in the other.
And the universe decided to play the most ridiculous joke on you, because there came Felix from the opposite side - t-shirt half-tucked, hair a little messy - looking totally…spent.
You tried to act casual, but he froze when he saw you.
“Morning!” he chirped, his face lighting up when he saw you. “You’re up early!”
“Yeah, well, work, you know…”
“Are you okay? You look kind of flustered.” Felix tilted his head, studying you.
“I’m fine!” you blurted, far too quickly.
“Are you sure? You seem a little... tense.” he said, and you narrowed your eyes at him.
Oh no, he wasn't doing this right now.
“Did you sleep well last night, Felix?” you asked, crossing your arms against your chest.
Felix blinked, a faint blush creeping up his neck as he said, “Uh... yeah. Why?”
You smiled sweetly, your tone laced with barely concealed mischief.
“Oh, no reason. You just seemed... very well-rested.”
Felix’s eyes widened, the realization hitting him rather mercilessly. “Oh my God.”
You raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh at the poor boy.
“What's wrong?” you asked, and he turned bright red, his hands flying to cover his face.
“I- I didn’t - how did you - oh my God!”
You patted his shoulder, thoroughly enjoying his meltdown and said, “Don’t worry, Lixie. Your secret’s safe with me.”
And with that, you walked away, leaving Felix a stuttering, blushing mess in the hallway.
Felix tried. He really did. After the mortifying revelation that you’d heard him, he swore to himself he’d keep his cool. He was a man, and he was going to act like it. Mature. Collected. Cool.
But every time he saw you, his resolve crumbled like one of his cookies.
You’d stopped by to return the Tupperware he’d given you last week (filled with brownies he’d baked as yet another excuse to see you). You were dressed casually in yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt, your hair tied back, but Felix could hardly keep his composure.
“Thanks again for the brownies,” you said, handing him the container with a smile. “They were great. As always.”
His heart did a full somersault at your praise. He took the container, his fingers brushing yours, and you swore you felt him shiver.
“Oh, uh, yeah,” he stammered, cheeks dusted pink. “Anytime.”
He looked into the box that was definitely not empty, and saw that was indeed full.
“I made some lasagna, we never return empty containers,” you said with a wink and Felix blushed as he smiled.
“Thank you, Y/N.” He said, “Um, -”
A silence stretched between you two, broken only when Jisung called from inside, “Felix! Are you flirting with her again?!”
Your eyes went wide and Felix choked, turning toward the door.
“I’m not - she’s not - shut up, Jisung!” he growled and you laughed, as Felix turned back to you, now red as a tomato.
“Anyway,” you said quickly, backing toward your apartment, “I’ve gotta go.”
“Yeah, of course!” Felix said, nodding too quickly. “See you later?”
“Sure,”
---
“I don’t know what to do,” you groaned, stirring your latte, as your best friend, Jennie eyed you with a smirk. “He’s so… sweet. And attractive. And every time I see him, I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
Jennie raised an eyebrow, sipping her Americano and said, “So, I don't see the problem?”
“The problem,” you emphasized, “is that he’s younger than me. What if he regrets it later?"
Jennie snorted.
“Oh, please. What's a couple of years have to do with anything? He’s an adult. He can vote, drive, drink - he's a big boy, Y/N. Stop making excuses.”
“It’s not just the age thing,” you protested. “We're neighbors. It’s messy. If it doesn't work out, I'd have to move and then-”
“Babe, he's hot,” Jennie added, waggling her eyebrows. “Come on, Y/N. The guy clearly worships you. I bet he’d walk barefoot through a field of Legos if you asked him to.”
“Jen-”
“Look,” she interrupted, leaning forward with a smirk, “I get it. You’re scared. But life’s short. If you want him, go for it.”
You groaned, dropping your head into your hands. Jennie was the worst. But she was also… not entirely wrong.
---
For Felix, this was a whole crisis.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. The way you smiled, the way you smelled when you leaned in just a little too close. It was driving him insane.
Jisung, of course, noticed his nonstop thirsting.
“Dude,” Jisung said, tossing the controller onto the couch as Felix stared blankly at his laptop. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Felix muttered, though the pink tint to his ears gave him away.
“Oh, come on,” Jisung groaned. “It’s been, what, six months? You’re salivating every time she walks by.”
“She’s… amazing, ok? And perfect. And…” He trailed off, sighing deeply. “She’d never go for someone like me.”
“Why not?” Jisung asked, genuinely curious.
“Because she’s…her,” Felix said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “She's beautiful, and successful. And-”
“And so into you,” Jisung interrupted. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Trust me, she’s interested.”
Felix shook his head, his heart aching. He wanted to believe it, but every time he got close to you, he felt like you were slipping through his fingers.
That night, as you lay in bed, your mind wandered back to Felix. To his soft voice, his shy smile, and the way he looked at you like you were his entire world.
You groaned, rolling onto your side. This was ridiculous. Jennie’s words echoed in your mind, Life’s short. If you want him, go for it.
You shook your head, trying to push the thought away. But then you heard it - the doorbell.
You sat up, heart racing. It was almost midnight. You slipped out of bed and walked to your door. You heard the bell again, and this time, Felix’s voice with it.
“Y/N?” Felix’s voice was soft but urgent. “It’s me.”
You opened the door quickly to find Felix standing there, looking equal parts nervous and determined.
“Felix, is everything ok?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he blurted out, his freckles stark against his flushed cheeks. “I know this is crazy, and I know I probably don’t have a chance, but… I had to tell you. Because it’s driving me crazy. You’re driving me crazy.”
You stared at him, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it.
“Felix, I -”
“I don't know what to do,” he continued, his voice trembling. “But I need you to know. I’m completely, hopelessly in love with you.”
—---
The clock on your nightstand read 2:47 AM. You’d been lying in bed for hours, unable to sleep, your head spinning.
Felix’s confession played on repeat in your head.
I’m completely, hopelessly in love with you.
The words had shattered something inside you. You’d wanted to say something, anything, but all you’d managed was a stunned silence - staring at him with your mouth open, that he gave you a rushed goodnight. And bolted.
Since then, you’d been teetering on the edge of panic and longing. You didn't say anything. Anything at all. And seeing the disappointment in those big beautiful eyes of his, seeing his face crumble with sadness at your silence was absolutely heartbreaking.
You turned onto your side, facing the wall you shared with Felix. Your heart ached, the weight of unspoken feelings pressing down on your chest. He was right there, so close, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to bridge the gap.
---
Felix lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, his hands gripping the sheets like they were the only things tethering him to reality.
He had spilled his heart to you, thinking it would work. And now? Now it felt like his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces.
You hadn’t said anything. Not a single word to give him hope or closure. He tried to convince himself you were just processing, that you weren’t rejecting him - but the silence was the most painful thing he'd ever had to endure.
His gaze drifted to the wall separating his room from yours. And his mind, traitorous as always, began to wander. He imagined you on the other side, lying in your bed, the soft curve of your lips, the way your eyes would flutter shut if he kissed you.
His fantasies were vivid, and utterly maddening.
“Fuck,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He wanted you so badly it hurt. But more than that, he wanted you to want him.
He felt like he was suffocating.
---
You couldn't take it anymore. It felt way too claustrophobic in your room. You sat up, your heart racing and climbed out of bed and padded to your door.
You needed some air.
---
The sound of your door opening reached him, and his heart leapt into his throat. He scrambled out of bed, throwing on a hoodie as he moved to his own door.
He opened his door and walked straight into you.
“Y/N,” he breathed, after his body clashed with yours, and his voice was so husky and breathless.
“I…” You hesitated, looking equally breathless and surprised. “I couldn’t sleep.”
Felix stepped closer, his gaze searching yours. “Me neither.”
You bit your lip, your chest heaving with the stress of it all.
“Felix, about what you said earlier…” you began.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed, his hands curling into fists at his sides.
“I meant it. Every word.” he whispered.
“I know,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “And I…”
Before you could finish, Felix closed the distance between you, his hands coming up to cradle your face. His touch was gentle, and you both had a moment, staring at each other, absolutely terrified.
You didn't know who moved first, but here you two were, kissing. A kiss so soft at first, then deepening as months of pent-up desire spilled over. His fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours with a desperation that reflected your own.
Your back hit the wall and he tilted his head, licking into your mouth, and it was so absolutely hot.
When you finally pulled away from Felix, your lips still tingled from the kiss, and your heart pounded so hard.
Felix’s eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed a deep red. He looked absolutely stunned, his lips parted as if to say something, but no words came out.
Oh no, why wasn't he saying anything?!
“I…” you began, but the words got stuck in your throat.
What could you even say?
“I’m sorry,” Felix whispered, his voice strained. He took a step back, running a hand through his hair, clearly panicking.
“No, no, I’m sorry,” you blurted, hugging your arms around yourself, feeling exposed in the oversized sweater you’d thrown on before bed. It barely skimmed your thighs, and now you were hyper-aware of how Felix’s eyes kept darting to your legs before snapping back up to your face.
Felix’s jaw tightened, and he let out a shaky breath.
“I…I should go.” he murmured and before you could stop him, he turned and sprinted back into his apartment, leaving you standing there.
—
The moment Felix shut the door to his apartment, he leaned against it.
“Shit,” he whispered, his eyes closed and voice trembling.
He wanted to scream. Or throw himself off a cliff. Because right now, all he could think about was the way you tasted, the way you looked in that damn sweater. The way you looked so… thrown after the kiss.
Groaning, he went to his bedroom and fell onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow. He was turned on beyond belief, but the guilt was just as strong.
That kiss, though perfect, felt impulsive and reckless. And now? He had no idea where you two stood.
---
By the time the sun came up, Felix was in full-on stress-baking mode.
His kitchen was a disaster - half empty bags of flour, bowls and utensils littered every surface, and his oven was working overtime. He’d already made two trays of brownies, cookies, and a batch of cupcakes, and he was still going.
Because every time he paused, every time he let himself think, his mind betrayed him. That damn kiss was playing on repeat in his head.
He threw himself back into baking, hoping it would distract him. But it didn’t work. His fantasies just grew wilder.
“Stop it,” Felix hissed to himself, slamming the oven door shut.
But the damage was done. He was a mess.
---
By the time Jisung woke up (close to noon) and stumbled into the kitchen, Felix was pulling yet another tray of cookies out of the oven.
“What the hell happened here?” Jisung asked, blinking at the mountain of baked goods that had taken over their apartment. “Did you open a bakery while I was asleep?”
Felix shot him a glare and said, “Don’t start.”
Jisung raised his hands in surrender, though he did ask, “Rough night?”
Felix didn’t answer, instead focusing on packing some of the cookies into containers.
Jisung leaned against the counter, smirking. “This is obviously about Y/N.”
Felix froze for a second.
“I knew it,” Jisung said, grinning. “Care to share what happened?”
Felix’s ears turned bright red as he shook his head.
“I’m not talking about it,” he said.
“Okay, fine,” Jisung said, grabbing a cookie. “But, for what it’s worth, you should tell her how you’re feeling. Like, really tell her.”
Felix sighed, his shoulders slumping.
“I already did.” he said sadly.
Jisung blinked in surprise. “And?”
“She didn’t say anything.” Felix’s voice was quiet, almost defeated. “And then…and then…never mind.”
---
The moment you stepped into the hallway after a long day at work, you were hit with the mouthwatering aroma of chocolate and vanilla.
You paused, inhaling deeply. Felix was baking again.
You’d just changed into your pyjamas when there was a knock at your door. Opening it, you weren’t surprised to find Felix standing there, holding four containers of baked goods in his hands.
He looked kind of disheveled and his expression was tight - like he was barely holding it together.
“Felix,” you started, but he thrust the containers into your hands before you could say more.
“What’s all this?” you asked, looking down at the overflowing assortment of brownies, cookies, and cupcakes.
Felix let out a laugh - a sharp and humorless one.
“It’s your fault,” he said and your eyebrows shot up.
“My fault?” you asked.
“Yes,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Because I can’t stop thinking about how you didn't say a word after I admitted my feelings for you. And then we kiss, and you don't say anything even then.”
Your lips parted, words failing you as he continued.
“It hurts. My heart hurts, and if I sit still I feel like I'm gonna faint. So yeah, I've been baking nonstop for hours now. You can eat them, throw them out, whatever you want. I just…I needed to get them out of my kitchen before I baked myself into oblivion.”
You sighed, setting the containers down on a nearby table. “Felix -”
“No,” he interrupted, shaking his head and taking a step back. “Don’t.”
“What? At least-”
“I have to go, or I'll end up doing something really stupid.”
And before you could stop him, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there with all his baked treats and a heart that felt like it was breaking.
Felix was spiraling.
For days, he’d been avoiding you as much as possible. He hated it. He hated having to speed walk past you or ignoring you. He couldn't stop craving you, and all through his heartache, he still missed you.
And he still couldn’t stop himself from baking for you. It was the only way he knew to show how much he cared without risking saying or doing something that might ruin everything further.
The knock on your door came as you were finishing dinner. You opened it to find Felix standing there, looking as nervous as ever, holding a box of brownies.
“Hi,” he said, his voice soft.
“Hi, Felix,” you said, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe.
“I made these for you.” he said, holding the box out to you, his hands trembling slightly.
You took the box, your eyes narrowing slightly.
“Thanks, but -” Before you could finish, he turned and started to walk away.
“Felix!” you called after him, but he didn’t stop.
Something inside you snapped. You couldn’t take it anymore.
“Felix!” you yelled again, quickly placing the box on the ground and grabbing the back of his hoodie, tugging him to a stop.
He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he turned halfway to look at you.
“Please don’t do this to me, Y/N,” he said, his voice low. “I’m trying so hard to hold it together.”
“Well, stop,” you said firmly, pulling him back toward your apartment, your grip on his hoodie strong.
“Y/N,” he protested, stumbling slightly as you dragged him inside. “You don’t get it!”
“Shut up, Felix,” you snapped, cutting him off as you slammed the door behind you.
He blinked at you, startled, his mouth opening to say something else, but you didn’t give him the chance.
“I like you, okay?” you yelled, your voice rising. “I like you back, Felix! I’ve been trying to hold it in, trying to be reasonable because this whole thing is complicated and I didn’t want to make it weird, but I can’t take it anymore! You’ve been driving me mad with all your running and your baking and your stupid perfect face, so just - just shut up and kiss me already!”
For a moment, Felix just stared at you, his eyes wide, his lips parted in shock.
“You… what?” he whispered, as if he couldn’t believe his ears.
“I said I like you,” you repeated, your chest heaving. “Now are you going to kiss me or not?”
In an instant, he closed the space between you, his hands cupping your face as he crashed his lips against yours.
The kiss was desperate, frantic even, and you responded with just as much intensity, your hands fisting in the front of his hoodie to pull him closer.
Felix’s lips were soft but insistent, his hands shaking slightly as they slid from your face to your waist, pulling you flush against him.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were gasping for air, trembling and flushed.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?” Felix whispered, his voice rough and shaky.
You smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of his face and said, “Probably as long as I have.”
He let out a soft laugh, his eyes shining with something you could only describe as pure joy.
And he kissed you over and over, until the world outside faded away, leaving only the two of you and the undeniable connection you felt with each other.
Dating Felix felt like stepping into a dream.
From the moment you both decided to give it a go, it was as if everything clicked into place. Now, you were greeted with the soft press of his lips whenever he saw you and even softer smiles that melted your insides.
He was so attentive, and so utterly devoted. And more perfect than you'd ever thought a person could be. He stayed over at yours a lot, and you kept him company whenever you could over at his. And it was absolutely magical.
Oh and he taught you how to bake. Or at least he tried.
---
Felix’s kitchen was a mess as usual, all his baking things spread everywhere. His sleeves were rolled up and his hair pushed back with a bandana.
You were perched on the kitchen counter, dressed in that sweater - the oversized one he loved so much, the one that barely skimmed the tops of your thighs. Your hair was loose, your smile teasing, and you looked like you'd walked straight out of his dream.
Felix swallowed hard, as he tried not to look at you. But when he did, he saw you leaning forward slightly, resting your chin in your hand.
“What’s next, Chef Lee?” you asked, nodding toward the bowl of brownie batter.
Felix cleared his throat, trying to gather himself.
“Uh, okay. So, once we mix the dry ingredients…”
His voice trailed off as you dipped your finger into the batter, scooping up a bit and popping it into your mouth.
The sound you made - a soft hum of approval - almost made him drop the bowl.
“Mmm,” you said, licking your finger clean. “That’s so good.”
Felix’s jaw clenched, his hands gripping the edge of the bowl to keep himself steady.
“Baby,” he said, his voice strained.
“What?” you asked, your eyes wide with mock innocence.
“You’re not… helping,” he managed, his gaze slipping down to your thighs.
You tilted your head, a playful smile tugging at your lips as you said, “I’m not?”
“No,” he said, setting the bowl down and taking a step closer to you.
“What am I doing, then?” you teased, tapping his bottom lip with your finger.
Felix caught your wrist, his grip firm but gentle.
“You’re being a bad girl,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire.
Your breath hitched as he stepped between your legs, his hands sliding over your thighs.
“What do you want, baby?” he asked, his fingers tightening on your skin.
You smirked, leaning in just enough for your lips to brush against his.
“I want you.”
That was all it took.
Felix kissed you like he was starving, his hands running over your thighs as he pressed you closer. He tasted of chocolate and something so uniquely him, and you honestly couldn't get enough.
His lips moved to your neck, his breath hot against your skin. He pushed the fabric off your shoulder, kissing all your exposed skin, groaning as you thread your fingers through his hair and tugged lightly.
He pushed you back against the wall, his hands reaching under your sweater and pulling down your panties quickly. You gasped as he quickly bent down and threw your legs over his shoulders.
Your breath caught as he kissed your inner thighs and went on to give you the most mind blowing orgasm of your life.
The bowl of brownie batter sat forgotten on the counter as he devoured you. Your fingers were in his hair, his bandana long lost and followed by his shirt and a lot more.
You sat on the counter, grinning smugly, your legs swinging lazily as you watched him, shirtless and glowing, trying to salvage the brownies he had abandoned earlier.
Felix glanced at you, his freckled cheeks still tinged pink, and smirked. He just lived his fantasy. And you were glowing, and it filled his heart to see you like that.
“The brownies, Lixie,” You reminded him as he lost focus, and was lost in thought, his eyes fixed on you.
He was about to reply when the front door opened, and Jisung walked in.
“Felix -” Jisung stopped mid-sentence as he walked into the kitchen, his eyes darting between you, perched on the counter, and Felix, standing there shirtless with a tray of brownies in hand.
There was a long, awkward pause as Jisung's eyes fell on Felix’s shirt lying on the floor. And obviously both of you looked enough ruffled for anyone to catch up.
“Oh my god,” Jisung finally said, his face scrunching up in horror. “Ew! Not in the kitchen!”
You burst into laughter, your hands flying to your mouth, while Felix just shook his head.
“Nothing happened here!” Felix insisted, though the sheepish grin tugging at his lips wasn’t helping his case.
Jisung pointed an accusing finger at his shirt lying on the floor.
“Don’t lie to me! There’s literally evidence of your sins everywhere!” he said.
“Jisung, I swear -”
“Save it!” Jisung cut him off dramatically, turning to leave. “I’m never eating anything that comes out of this kitchen again!”
You couldn’t stop giggling as Felix turned to you.
“Babe,” he muttered, though he couldn't help but smile.
“I’m sorry,” you said, trying to sound sincere but failing miserably.
Felix rolled his eyes, setting the tray down before stepping closer again.
“You’re lucky I love you,” he said, teasingly.
“Lucky, huh?” you said, looping your arms around his neck.
He leaned in, brushing his lips against yours as he said, “Very lucky.”
“I CAN HEAR YOU!” Jisung’s voice rang out from his bedroom.
You both burst out into giggles, and you kissed him again.
“I love you, Lixie.”
“I love you, baby.”
Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght
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When Somebody Needs You (Will Wood)
We’ll meet in the middle like pistols at dawn/Turn our backs, who's counting pace?/When the smoke clears are we friends?/Or strangers again?/Just a familiar face/Well aren’t we “us” sharing pronouns now?/So how could we separately heal?
"It feels like growing apart from someone that you knew so well that you were one person, a pair a group ya know? the mourning of it but also knowing that you can’t really control how people grow and change"
Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)
And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!
Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush
I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart
"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"
"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"
"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"
"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"
"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."
"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."
"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."
Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others
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*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.
I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.
Point 1: An irresistible opportunity
The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.
In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:
So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (😭), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.
What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.
Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.
Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.
When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.
(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)
To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.
Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:
Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?
Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.
Point 2: The potential implications of the setting
Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.
There's a few things that make this theory plausible:
(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.
(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.
(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.
Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.
Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.
And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.
Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.
Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character
So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.
It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.
It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.
@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?
This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.
Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...
Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.
He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.
And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.
In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.
And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:
Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.
...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.
Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.
Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.
Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.
#<my posts>#saw a post about style being one-dimensional and boring and I nearly had a breakdown because what are you TALKING about???#he's so perfectly messed up and terrible and unfiltered and WONDERFUL in all the wrong and right ways#and others have pointed out there's potentially even MORE to style's backstory because of the “coincidence” of Lilly meeting with#someone with the same name as the dog Style talks about in his story#listen the story telling in this show drives me inSANE in the best way and i'm baffled at some of the takes i'm seeing#can we at least... let his story play out maybe before dismissing or hating on Style?? its literally ONLY episode 3.#anyway yes its me your resident style apologist back to be unnecessarily emotional about style again#the heart killers the series#thk meta#the heart killers#style sattawat#fadelstyle#also FUCK ME dunk is just constantly serving every single episode and i've seen so many posts appreciating joong's acting (RIGHTLY SO!)#but not nearly enough love for the frankly INSANE performance dunk has been giving every single episode#i love him i love him I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY T_T#dunk natachai#ALSO (not that this means i can speak for everyone in a similar circumstance)#but as someone who lost my father to cancer as a teenager i DO understand and relate to the FURY Fadel must have felt in ep 3#and i DO think style was wrong to have treated the situation so lightly#but like literally WHAT in this show sets up any expectation for style to have the emotional maturity to do that?#and also this doesn't make him an inherently bad person ACTUALLY#it makes him an idiot and needing to be taught the right way to respond to people who are grieving. but guess what; he's NOT ALONE??#because let me tell you the amount of times i wanted to punch FULL GROWN ADULTS for giving me “well meaning” platitudes at my dad's funeral#...but the thing is they DID mean well. they just didn't realise how hurtful their words were#and life is filled with imperfect people who make mistakes and part of our journey is learning from them and trying our best to be kind
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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double trouble
#detroit become human#rk1700#the boys....baby boys....woobies...#listen i just think nines would have such an overprotective streak for connor..#he protecc and he want to attacc. connor will teach him well#my favourite headcanon is nines quietly admiring the hell out of connor and learning from him and his mistakes as well#choosing the most optimal way to exist within society. hes so impressed with connor who is bumbling terribly but doing his best#connor has the experience and higher social relations but nines is much quicker to catch on#they both admire each other and are pushed forward by each others existance and improvement#ive seen a few fanfics where they have that dynamic and its my favourite#they work so sweetly in a brotherly bond it warms my heart (though i am a shameless rk1700 enjoyer)#anyway thats enough rambling#i wish there was a dbh fandom still#im just throwing up doodles now with no thought of making any solid pieces yet#my art#dbh#rk900#connor detroit become human#also i know theres zero consistency with the art style and keeping them looking the same but fuck that i dont have the patience rn#also also lmao i just noticed but the top one looks like hes trying to kiss connor but no that was a continuation of bottom left sjdjfjdj#feel free to interpret it any way yoy want hajdjfjfjd
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sorry for liking davejade in 2023 btw its in a cool way though
#hs#davejade#like that one person said bi4bi cool silly girl and her lame ass court jester bf who enjoy each others company a lot#“its boring” well not everything has to be conflict sometimes it can be two people really vibing#and being good foils to each other and just sort of being like a lock and key#i dont dislike davekat but i felt like they bickered too much which is Funny dont get me wrong#but i like davejade for different reasons#in that i feel like dave is at his most heartfelt with her#bc jade doesnt do anything to warrant snarkiness. she doesnt make him uncomfortable and that earns his trust like a lot#ppl say its boring cause its a mf ship and they dont get them like i do#and my answer to that as an agender person is who the fuck cares#i hate ppl dismissing mf ships out of hand like…hey bi ppl exist. and even if they were straight they still got a good dynamic#of care and interest towards each other#hes not her knight in shining armor bffr. she has uhhh fucking GUN#they are Equals#jade slaps the shit outta people on more than one occasion lol#they infodump to EACH OTHER and they both listen#remember when jade wanted to infodump to john about physics remember that#dave would eat that up like oh damn that so dope and tie it back to time or whatever. special relativity#since space and time are fundamentally related#sorry im running on fumes rn i didnt sleep last night#ALSO THEY HAVE MATCHING ALCHEMIZED OUTFITS#jade’s dead shuffle dress and dave’s four aces suited both use a midnight crew poster as ingredients#i should draw them together in that mspa style#maybe theyre not even romantic. who said ships had to be. its short for relationship#well theres multiple kinds of relationships. what if they were queerplatonic
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DECIMATION ROW
Decimation: Myth, Discipline, and Death in the Roman Republic, Michael J. Taylor / Spartacus: War of the Damned, Decimation
#anyway. so. tune in next month when i do a talk on why it's so easy to Other code crassus (queer coding or other wise)#(this is a joke im not going to do a talk. if i did i'd spend an hour getting into All Of That with kore and caesar in the starz show)#so. SO! wow. wuehghgh. heurhghh#been thinking on this one a lot. like. babygirl what is WRONG with you#narratively or otherwise#like i know what's wrong with you but my god#i was listening to 2pm's Cafe the whole time i was making this and the tone dissonance was very funny#related and unrelated:#i deleted a whole novel of tags talking about how fucking wild the kore-caesar-crassus stuff was#but if you leave starz off your lists of republicaniana media bc you think its cringe#you're a coward and i hate you specifically#comparatives tag#marcus licinius crassus#blood cw
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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cant believe that after driving the car, riding the train, booking a hotel room, having a nightmare, visiting the father in law, visiting a hospital, making a friend, and escaping an assassin, the incomprehensible Horrors™ are back at it again and harder to bear than ever 🐻
#fandom related#malevolent#i feel just like arthur that after having some Normal Time and time w friends and family the Horrors are even more horrifying than before#also How is this man driving. w zero eyes and one arm and one leg. i imagine John is like#slow down arthur! hit the gas arthur! while steering. and arthur is shifting the gear. except that john has no experience in driving#so it would be like someone during their first ever driving lesson. creeping along slowly. being way too slow or way too fast for a given#situation. cops would stop them bc arthur isn't even looking at the road. he is bumping into so many other cars or the curb.#parking like shit. does john even know what the road signs mean 😭 and oscar got into the car w him#maybe he was too busy reading that book to notice. or too enchanted by arthu#*Arthur#if arthur had a white cane he would constantly lose it while falling down holes or trip over it running from the horrors#i think it's been mentioned only 3 times that he can't see. to those cops on the lake to daniel and the butcher has mentioned it#honestly king shit running around blind and w only one arm and leg w the voice of an ancient god in his voice. also they are fucking driving#*in his head#why can't you edit tags on mobile!!? or do i have to update tumbler for that#anyway ever since starting malevolent ive been realizing i should be more grateful for my eyesight. my eyesight is already bad and i need to#wear glasses 24/7. also i have a diagnosis that has a kinda probability of making me blind once im old or smth#i mean eyesight decreases for everyone as they get older right. but yeah. and i v likely won't have the voice of an older god in my head to#help me see. so gotta be grateful now#i should go to bed it's almost midnight but i have to listen to the next episode i need to know what's going on and what will happen 😭#still hoping nothing further will happen to oscar and that he and arthur will stay friends. if you're reading this and you know this won't#be the case. nnnnggh :')
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I gotta quit this job lmaooooo
#the fucking security guard#he came into the office today and was like hey I learned something disturbing about monster energy drinks#and I'm thinking he's gonna say something health related cause he's said the one time he tried one he lost his vision for like 15 minutes#uh but no#apparently he was listening to the joe rogan podcast 🙄#and he heard that something about the logo makes it look like the Hebrew letter 6 so it spells out 666#and there's a cross on the can that when you tilt it up to drink it turns the cross upside down#and like idk maybe that is true#but now he's claiming that's why he lost his vision when he drank one that one time#honestly I didn't hear the rest cause I put my other earbud in so fast lmao#I gotta quit this job aaaaaaa
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upon subsequent listens, i've become very fond of rook's character theme (Not The Chosen One) for a lot of reasons but I do just love the way it's in conversation with Down, But Not Out. you can hear the main melody of that piece playing in the background through most of the track, and simultaneously if you listen to Down, But Not Out, a main segment of Not The Chosen One is playing underneath it as well. those two tracks are so intrinsic to rook's character, and i think it's very fun that they get TWO tracks to represent them like that
#i have also seen it speculated that the opening strings of the dread wolf track might be in reference to the opening of rook's theme#i'm on the fence about that but HUGE if true#anyway they're very fun tracks to put next to each other and their titles alone in relation to rook as a character say HUGE#things about their characterization (that i very much fuck with to be clear)#anyway Not The Chosen One SLAPS. i love they way breath is used as an instrument in it. i love the DRIVE in it. really solid piece#also disclaimer i am just a person who likes listening to scores not someone who knows all the right words to talk about music. so#actually you know for some reason this morning i was under the impression that i'd done a big write up about all the da scores#last night and posted it and then i DIDN'T. i just THOUGHT it very late at night. it was really disappointing#i wanted to reread it to see what i'd said#which was NOTHING apparently#sad
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dude the TOP song you posted (truce) fucking kills me and the way you described the animatic is??? so good???? I'd bawl actually /pos
I need to know if there's any other TOP songs you relate to the furies/any DE character really, or any slower songs even if they aren't by TOP
OH AGREED ABSOLUTELY!! TRUCE MY BELOVED... and THANK YOU!! we are imagining animatics and crying together! /pos :'] <3
ooh!! well, i havent listened to a lot of TOP in a while, so i don't have many recommendations there unfortunately :'] but for other slow, soft songs, let's see... i'll put them under a cut with all my explanations, but ☀️ "See The Day" by The Altogether (Volition song!), 🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos (Shivers song!), 🦋 "Would You Be So Kind" by dodie (general skills song, Suggestion primarily!) are the best contenders!
Pretty sure you've seen it already, but from a different ask, i recommend "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier! (and "Like Real People Do" if you want to cry and yearn with me, though my DE ideas for it are very loose hkjhg) these are slow ones i like hkjhg <3
"Goodbye" by The Altogether is a Harry and Dora song :0
"Soldier, Poet, King" by The Oh Hellos is one i specifically relate to Volition (my beloved protector/motivator/crownhead blorbo! [picks him up and wiggles him!!!]), but i would make one of those animation memes for it with every skill slotted into a "soldier" "poet" or "king" position.
☀️ "See the Day" is both another The Altogether song and another Volition song! a real "the worst is over. we made it through. we're going to survive this. it might not get easier yet, but we'll come out the other side and we'll be alive" song. it makes me cry hkjgh
🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos is a soft Shivers song, though the lyrics don't start until halfway in. ough my god listening to it makes my heart ache (/pos) <3 La Revacholiere singing to Harry in the wind. "Will you start when I end? Yeah, I'm long in the wind..."
"Northern Star" by Dom Fera, a song Harry would sing for karaoke and dedicate to Kim, and then they'd waltz a little clumsily on the dim, starlit sidewalk on their way home for the evening... <3
🦋 "Would You Be So Kind?" by dodie BUT SPECIFICALLY THIS VERSION, because i love everyone's crowded but earnest vibes. this one is led by Suggestion ("oooh you wanna fall in love with us so bad right? right???") and makes me grin, you GOTTA imagine all of the skills squished together in the front of Harry's brain all trying different tactics to get Kim to fall in love with them, (rhetoric: "I HAVE A QUESTION..." ency: "let's write a story! be in my book!") at 2:35, after all the skills singing together loudly, it's just Harry himself singing to Kim, with all the skills slowly backing him up. the ending is all of them fucking ECSTATIC celebrating when harry finally kisses kim hkjhg jesus this'd be so cute hold on i have to go plan this out i have so many thoughts hkjdh
"Seven" by Sleeping at Last would be a sweet Reaction Speed song (ironic that im adding react speed to a list of soft, slow songs though hkjgh) "I'm ready for whatever comes next!" <3 Reaction Speed is a fast, restless little fella who can't sit still for long, always loves moving, acting, doing. he's like the personification of a verb hkjhg <3 i would also accept an interpretation for echem <3
"Cosmos" by Jawbreaker Reunion is a song that The Furies recently suggested to me as a jean song and it's so right for that, very soft and i like it very much :'] (you should also ask The Furies if you want to, it's much more musically inclined than me, i feel hkjhg <3)
awuahg thank you for asking and for reading!! i appreciate it!! <33
oh and here's links to all of the songs in the tags: Come Together Now, Two, Four, Five, Six, Eight, Nine, RPG Animation Meme (<- homestuck lmao)
#volta transmissions#now: songs that didn't meet the requirements (either not a slow song OR doesnt remind me of de characters/skills) but honorable mentions:#you specifically asked for slow songs but i refound ''come together now'' from the lego movie soundtrack and I HAVE SKILL THOUGHTS...#<- no chemi you're not hosting a fucking multi animator project you have enough on your plate THANKS <3#but!! that is my idealized version of the skills to me though. ''we're all really different but we make each other better together''#dodie has many more slower songs but i cant really relate them to DE hkjhg <3 the oh hellos too!! and the altogether <3#''two'' from Sleeping at Last makes my heart hurt but i can't relate it to anyone in specific. but if you want a soft song that i love <3#also from Sleeping at Last but i dont like these songs as much: ''Four'' is Concept! ''Five'' is Viscal! ''Six'' is Psyche in general#but specifically inland and volition!! ''Eight'' is an Endurance song but i'd also take Authority or Phys interpretations <3#but eight is kind of intense so it doesnt go in the actual list. ''Nine'' might be Empathy? get over being a moralist little guy!!#i like ''Two'' ''Seven'' and ''Eight'' while the other ones are not my cup of tea... but they ARE soft songs i associate with skills!#only tangentially related but the RPG animation meme would be. extremely fun to do for the skills. and i think about it intensely.#LISTEN... there's 30-ish beats at the start for characters. theres 24 skills plus room to show group ups by type (int; psyc; phys; mot)#the entire main thing of the meme is [someone says a stupid idea] [everyone disliked that!!] WHICH IS EXACTLY THE RIGHT VIBE HFJKFH#HOWEVER. i still dont have designs for [checks] MORE THAN HALF OF THEM. so EL BIGO MISTAKO LIEUTENANT! YOU CAN'T!#i wish i was more well-versed in music hkjhg im kinda just vibing with what i got <3 this is why daily voltas stopped :'] alas!#esprit: Sammie
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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yes i excluded all i want for xmas bc it's in its own category as greatest xmas song ever. she's got 19 total so i ruthlessly picked my personal faves :)
#poll#polls#music poll#tumblr poll#inspired by how i was listening to mariah's greatest hits the other day#shout out to my BFF who turned me into a lamb when we were roommates#i did like her before but never like sought out her music#also my answer is one sweet day that song makes me cry and i'm not even relating it to anything bc#it's just fucking good lol
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something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍
#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST#talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it.#talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix#paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to#immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them#not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely#myself in my head yk#and it's so isolating#and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it#oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this#< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as#into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be#like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine#it's so fucking isolating#i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like#fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely#< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭#it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do#and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense#because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying#and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality#just if i talk about something a little too much#bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me#but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are#idk#anyways !
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