#i keep seeing posts on my dash that are pissing me off | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

antianakin · 2 months ago

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Also, I had another question for you, if you don’t mind giving your thoughts on it: I recently came across a post criticizing Obi-Wan and Yoda for not telling Luke that Anakin was ‘Darth Vader’: AKA: his father. And I think it’s been kind of established that they were going to tell Luke when they felt he was ready, but when things spiraled out of control at the beginning of ‘A New Hope’ that they thought it would just be too painful? And like… OBVIOUSLY they are not telling Luke he needs to kill Anakin to be cruel. They’re telling him Anakin WILL force Luke’s hand into having to defend himself because Anakin will try to slice Luke’s fucking head off. Lol.

But anyway, the reason this tumblr post I came across bothered me is because it was really vindictive and bitter in accusing Yoda… of wanting revenge. Like… saying THAT’S the reason Yoda tried to get Luke to kill Anakin. And not… idk… the fact the galaxy was on fire. 🤦‍♀️ Essentially, they admitted that what the Jedi went through was a genocide. But instead of showing SYMPATHY, they turned it around by saying that Yoda was CRUEL and demonizing him even if he DID want revenge… as a GENOCIDE victim. And it just felt… SO gross. 😭🤢 Because it was OBVIOUS what they cared about the most was Anakin’s pain in the suit and Luke’s conflict with killing Anakin. But Yoda being a GENOCIDE VICTIM meant nothing to them. And that isn’t even the REASON Yoda and Obi-Wan say Luke may have to kill Anakin! It’s because Anakin is dangerous and burning the galaxy down with Palpatine at that point in time. Essentially; they believe it’s for the greater good.

But what REALLY grinds my gears is how even if their theory about Yoda WAS true… they would demonize the GENOCIDE VICTIM over wanting justice/revenge over the actual guy who helped slaughter them. 🤦‍♀️🤢 It just… pissed me off SO much. Lol.

But anyway, you don’t have to give your thoughts if you don’t want to, but I always love hearing your take on backwards logic like this from radical Anakin/Anidala/anti Jedi fans (this was from a radical Anidala fan, which I guess makes sense now that I think about it why they didn’t care about the Jedi’s plight and just the Skywalker family’s pain).

Someone else sent me an ask about something very similar to this yesterday. My response is in the queue, so I don't want to completely overlap this. But whatever post generated these asks, I'm so glad I've curated my dash enough not to have to see it.

I think people seem to overestimate the amount of time Obi-Wan and Yoda have in which they could have told Luke about Vader.

Obi-Wan is a stranger to Luke for most of his life, something that generally gets explained away in other media as Owen not wanting Obi-Wan around, but it's not super clear in the films themselves why Obi-Wan has kept his distance for so long. But regardless, he has. And Obi-Wan DOES give Luke quite a lot of information that his aunt and uncle have been keeping from him in the immediate aftermath of them meeting in ANH. He tells him that his father was a Jedi who was "killed" by Darth Vader, and he tells him Darth Vader was his student and that Vader betrayed them all. The only thing missing is that these are the same people, but also this is their FIRST conversation about this and Obi-Wan is pretty clearly trying to gently bring Luke into this wider world he's never known and not just drop a bunch of massive bombshells on his shoulders. He's also trying to convince Luke to leave Tatooine with him, and it likely won't help to tell him that his father is a traitor who is currently still an incredible danger to him.

And then Owen and Beru die and Luke is in mourning and Obi-Wan's primary focus is on getting to Alderaan and not throwing more pressure on Luke than he can handle in a situation where he's already going to feel under a lot of pressure. And then he dies. And while Obi-Wan is occasionally able to speak to Luke after he dies, it seems to be pretty sporadic at best and he can't stick around for very long until after Luke gets to Dagobah. So his ability to have a nice long conversation about Vader is incredibly minimal.

And finally there's Luke's time on Dagobah where he does seem to have more ready access to both Obi-Wan and Yoda, but Yoda is still seeing a LOT of reasons to keep this information from Luke. Luke struggles with believing in himself, he takes a weapon into the cave, he's reckless and impulsive, etc. And there's no telling just how long the two of them have together and it's more important to get Luke as trained as possible so that he stays alive (and also so that when it IS time for him to learn this information, he can HANDLE IT).

And that's it. There's always bigger priorities and good reason for both Yoda and Obi-Wan to believe that Luke isn't quite ready to learn this given how painful of a truth it would be. And you know what? When Luke IS given this information, he nearly gives up on everything as a reaction. He wasn't ready. Yoda and Obi-Wan were right.

The other ask I answered is more about Obi-Wan telling Luke he has to prepare himself for the super likely possibility that he'll have to kill his father, so I won't go into that much here. It's weird to put accusations on Yoda since, to my memory, Yoda and Luke never HAVE a conversation about Vader, let alone one where Yoda tells Luke to kill him. Is the argument supposed to be that Yoda kept the information from Luke so that Luke would always hate Anakin and therefore be more likely to kill him?

But. Yeah. The kinder, more objective answer to this is like you said, they're preparing him for the possibility that Anakin will try to kill HIM and so he might have to defend himself. They're preparing him for the possibility that Anakin CANNOT BE SAVED because he's shown exactly no inclination to stop murdering people for the last twenty some-odd years, even when faced with people he used to claim to love. Don't lose a thousand people just to save one. If Luke refuses to do what has to be done and dies as a result (or is turned into a Sith himself), the entire galaxy suffers. Leia MIGHT be able to pick up the torch after him (although she'd never have a living master to help her train), but it would probably take YEARS before she could manage to do what Luke could not.

The more bitter answer to this from someone who's not a fan of Anakin is that Anakin deserves it. Like you said, I'm more inclined to feel sympathy for the people who are genocide victims wanting justice or even vengeance for what was done to them than I am inclined to feel sympathy for the person who committed said genocide. It's why I feel a hell of a lot more sympathy for Reva than I ever have for Anakin (Reva also stops killing people WAY earlier than Anakin and shows more empathy towards people she's not personally related to than Anakin ever does). I'm over here HOPING that suit hurts him, I HOPE that he struggles to breathe every day, I hope his breath burns in his lungs every time air is pumped into him, I hope he feels that pain every moment of every day he has to stay alive. I could not give less of a shit about Anakin's pain. It's not even just the one genocide, either. Every single clone who dies after Order 66, their enslavement and loss of what little autonomy they had, can thank Anakin for what was done to them. And then he spends over TWENTY YEARS spreading pain and destruction and death across the galaxy. There are MILLIONS of lives gone exclusively because of Anakin. Anakin is DROWNING in the blood of the people he's killed. I hope it suffocates him. Even if Obi-Wan and Yoda DID want Luke to kill his father out of vengeance, I wouldn't blame them.

So yeah. Fuck Anakin. Who gives a shit if he's in pain. Luke is so lucky he didn't have to actually get to know his complete shit heel of a father and that his primary father figures ended up being Owen, Obi-Wan, and Yoda. Imagine how awful his life would've been if he'd actually had to live with Anakin as a father at any point. Luke dodged a bullet in so many ways.

This is why I don't engage with people like that anymore. There's so little point. I'm set in my ways and opinions now for the most part and they likely are, too. Arguing with them is just going to make everybody feel worse. I'd rather stay in my corner, even if I'm ranting in that corner.

#star wars #yoda #obi-wan kenobi #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #jedi #pro jedi #long post

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yooniesim · 7 days ago

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ok unfortunately for yall the dash made me have a thought so now I gotta ramble lol

but ya know. maybe it's bc I've had so much time away from here and all the bitching (/affectionate) but over the past couple years, I get less angry about this shit and more solution-minded. and I don't mean for the community as a whole (that's impossible lol) but in a sort of... personal circle/responsibility type of way. like what we can do among ourselves without the confrontation aspect bc, just being honest- from my perspective & experience, the anger and the bitching doesn't really accomplish shit. not to say it ain't justified, & it's important to raise awareness for sure, but i swear me & a lot of others that have been talking about this for a long time have just been barking in circles without anything budging one way or another. which leads to burnout/emotional exhaustion not just for the ppl in question but for followers/mutuals/friends. I spent far too long and waaaay too much mental energy thinking that being the loudest and the boldest would get something to change. but the scammers keep scamming and the shit just keeps going. and sure it's fun as hell to shoot the shit and pick and bitch and laugh with your mutuals. baby yall know I love a good simblr circlejerk. but ya know, when you sit down and think about it it's a lil depressing. and the ppl you're talking to/around are already Aware and eventually the anger wears off and they're just tired of hearing about it. you're preaching to the choir and everyone is just pissed and tired with no clear goal to work towards.

Part of that exhaustion is why i made @alwaysfreecc as a positive way to boost always free creators, without focusing on the paywallers. as well as always supporting alternate ways of getting paywalled cc. but I think it takes a lil more than just that. I think, like the post I just reblogged was saying, people need to learn how to make their own content too. I know there's a learning curve, but so many things paywallers make are outright easy to do yourself. Some aren't- there are paywall creators that put great effort into their content and make it worth your money- but a lot of them are. And that isn't to say you should make everything yourself, there's nothing wrong with supporting creators that make content you find interesting or wouldn't want to do yourself, but it can be really rewarding to learn how to make simple edits and recolors on your own. And, image editing and 3d modeling skills can also benefit you elsewhere in life! Whether professionally or when modding other games. Knowing how to make cc in sims helped me figure out how to make certain things for skyrim and fallout, for example. Hell, it's just plain FUN to figure out and do, and I think the community could always use more of that.

Also, sometimes it's freeing to just, stop using certain creators' content. Like, i used to be bitching yet downloading stuff off dhm and shit, out of spite mostly cos half the stuff I didn't even like. But since I cleared out a lot of paywallers' stuff, besides a few I think are worth it/doing things honestly, it just feels better. I don't even think about those mfs anymore until I see something about them on my dash and then I can barely remember who they are lol. You don't realize how much you really don't NEED any of that shit & how you were kinda just downloading it to be downloading it, until you toss it. AND it feels great to have mostly always free creators' content & support them. Liiike i feel proud of ppl i saw get started and are STILL FREE and making awesome stuff, it's exciting! even when I'm not playing the game, I see their posts and be like "dang I need to grab that when I update" or "man they've gotten so much better in so little time" or "wow I never thought of that idea/seen that before". Bc always free peeps get to be so damn creative bc they don't have deadlines or turning off their paying audience to worry about. Like it's so cool and positive and I love that.

idk, just. based on what I've experienced here, i feel like it's kinda time to focus less on what the assholes are doing now (aka the same exact thing they've been doing for years) and more on what to do to make our own personal experiences better. which I know a lot of us are doing! I just wish I personally had done it earlier lol so maybe someone else needs to hear that too. like toss these dummies to the curb and replace them is what I'm sayin. If not in the whole community but just your personal circle. raise awareness as needed sure but don't let em take any more of your energy. cos if you are petty like me (😂) it'll hurt em way more to cast em out than yell at em. all the ppl that have bitched at me yet still have my cc in their folders come to mind lmfao, cos personally that gives me more satisfaction than anything else so I know it's probably the same for the scammers! Like a "you hate me but you can't bear to not use my shit huh 😏" type of deal. Don't give em that sick pleasure! (/projecting) Just focus on you and yours and make some sick ass content for yourself, then share it to me thx 💅

#ceci speaks #nonsims #text #the paywall issue #gif warning #ceci speaks a lot more #long post #long ass post!#sorry yall know i aint written a think piece in a while

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jamiethebeeart · 3 months ago

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Danny Phantom AU for the League (explanation under the cut)

There's a common (?) idea in the phandom that Sam dyes her hair black (or that her mom bleach her hair from black) and asdfghj that fits so well for Dabi. I can also see him being edgy and wearing eyeliner (he would tightline and you can't convince me otherwise) and eyeshadow to piss off Endeavor. (You can hardly see it, but I promise he has purple eyeshadow under his eyes.) I've been thinking about it and I'm not sure how Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Shoto would fit into this AU. Cousins? Maybe just siblings, and ignore Sam's only child-ness.

LINK (X) ok so I have drawn this before and I stand by Hana as Jazz and Tenko/Tomura as Fenton/Phantom. :)))) Danny's hair in the og art style makes no damn sense. Many an artist has bemoaned it (me included), so I decided to make Shigaraki's also confounding. (it's like??? a mullet???? but the mullet has layers????) Danny having Lichtenberg figure scars has recently had a resurgence in phandom and it's the perfect excuse to keep the scars around Shigaraki's mouth/eyes. (To symbolize the "scary eyes" and ghost sense.) Shigaraki gets to keep Danny's whole "getting new powers every time he needs to" shtick: one - because it's funny and two - it ties into the whole AFO quirk plotline. SPEAKING OF. AFO gets to take Vlad's place :)))) except!!! I think it'd work better if AFO was a "friend" of Tenko's grandmother and that's how he's weaseled his way into the family. No Vlad wanting Maddie and killing Jack subplot. Just AFO up to his usual shenanigans. I'm on the fence about whether or not Dabi would secretly be a kickass gamer (Sam was, but only kept it a secret because of 2000s misogyny about girls playing games.... idk how that'd transfer to Dabi other than Dabi trying to maintain a "too cool for that" image....)

(Hana as Jazz. Jazz loves her brother and tries to support him but is also overbearing and ignores what he says in favor of what she wants. I feel like an older Hana would fit into that well.... not that we know much about Hana, but from what can be gathered I think it'd fit. And Danny wanted a dog! Eventually has Cujo tagging along! Also a very good mirror for Mon and Tenko.)

Tucker! Spinner! my loves!!!! I wasn't sure originally if I wanted Spinner to be a ghost or a human, but as we can see I plopped him in Tucker's role. Because it fits so well. (I still vividly remember the post about "who loves Danny more? Valerie or Sam. the answer: neither, it's Tucker. Savant Par and Spinaraki mimicing the much larger fanbase for Amethyst Ocean and Shigadabi) Also, Spinner getting to connect with Tenko over games (DOOMED) and technology. I imagine that Spinner wears a bandana to cover up his roots showing. I see Tucker as taking special care of his appearance, but I don't see where Spinner's like that, so he gets a lazier option :) Oooooh should I give Spinner glasses? ooooh I bet he'd have glasses, but never want to wear them because they'd make him look nerdy. Anyway, just like Tucker and Danny, Spinner would face his fears to help and support Shigaraki :))))) (crying over his devotion)

Other Characters:

Dash, Paulina, Kwan, and Star? Maybe Uraraka and Toga as Johnny 13 and Kitty? hehehee could be cute. the fights and getting back together and Toga having to blow off steam in the human world? Kwan befriends Sam and Tucker, so maybe Twice would fit into Kwan's role? OH!!! And then have Hawks be Dash. (I don't think anyone has ever shipped Sam and Dash but that's why this is an AU.)

Deku can be Poindexter.... cause bullying (asdfghj yea it sidelines Deku a bit and sticks him in a very minor role and is an easy choice, but!! some fics make Poindexter and Danny kind of friends!! I think that'd be a nice mirror to what Shigaraki and Deku could've been - along with the initial misunderstandings that Poindexter has about Danny mirroring the way that Deku had to learn more about Shigaraki.

Ember? Maybe as Compress.... he has the theatrics DOWN lmao. And Magne as part of the band perhaps? That'd be cute.

(I don't feel like I know enough about Mustard to put him in any specific role.....)

OOOH Bakugou as Dora! The Dragon Amulet transformation mirroring Bakugou's angry outbursts!

#my hero academia au #my hero academia #bnha au #shuichi iguchi #shigaraki tomura #bnha dabi #mha spinner #toya todoroki #touya todoroki #tenko shimura #mha fanart #bnha fanart #league of villains #the crossover day got me thinking about this au again asdfgh i'm not tagging this as danny phantom but the urge!!!!#because it's a mash up of the two i'm not going to tag this as mha jbee or dp jbee

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ya-zz · 3 months ago

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Regret and Forgiveness

Ramattra x child!Reader

Word count: 5042

Words decided to word right for me for a change... and the fact that over 5k of them worded right for me is surprising. Perhaps when I have made another full fic like this I will make a seperate master post for them because this is part of the child series with Ramattra I want to complete at some point in the future.. Whenever I can find the time to write and relax from work... We shall see... Also yes, you have a pet slicer because who doesn't want a pet slicer ♥

He has you cornered, oh how silly you were to be running from the leader of Null Sector. Your small body trembles as you step back, only pushing yourself further into that corner. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. He is right there.

Ramattra glares down at you, optics picking up your heightened heart rate and a small, extremely small, part of him feels guilty for the fear he is putting in you. You are just a kid, afterall. “Trust me, you do not need to do much to piss me off. Just a couple of stubborn retorts, a dash of disobedience and a generous serving of reckless behaviour and voila! You have got the perfect recipe to send my systems into a fit of rage.”

“You say that like I do it on purpose! You’re just easily angered!” You yell as you step back, watching as the omnic closes the distance you have made. “You don’t trust me at all!”

You glance down to your slicer unit, its body rumbling as if it was growling towards Ramattra. At least you have my back, you think to yourself amidst the situation.

“Do you really think me being angry is just some flaw of mine and not a direct response to your stubbornness and recklessness?” His wires burn, his chassis heats up as anger, no, rage burns hot inside of him. “And you want to talk about trust? You say I do not trust you, but when you go running off like this, without telling anyone… how do you expect me to trust you? You are acting reckless and immature, not like a child, but like a spoiled brat!”

There was a slight hesitation in your voice as you speak, your mind reeling with memories of your parents and their shouting. “I am not spoiled and you know that!”

Ramattra notices the way you hesitate, the quick flash of pain in your eyes before your anger towards him returns. He lowers his voice slightly, not wanting to shout any longer. “I know you are not spoiled, little one. That is not what I meant.”

“You said it so you clearly meant it.” There was a sharp edge to your voice and Ramattra doesn’t miss it.

“I said you are acting like a spoiled brat, not that you are one. There is a difference.” He snaps back, his patience wearing thin.

“I am acting like a kid who wants to have fun and not be watched everywhere I go! I let you put this tracking device on me as a safety precaution and I can’t even walk down the hallway without you panicking!?” You raise your arm, the tracking device dangling from your wrist.

“It is justifiable concern. You are a child wandering Null Sector, of course I am going to be worried about you if you leave my sight! You go running off after a tantrum and you expect me to not worry about you?”

The wall connects to your back, finally stopping you from going anywhere else. “What else am I supposed to do!? You don’t listen to me and you never let me explain my side before you’re off with some stupid counter argument that makes no sense!”

Ramattra stops just before you.

The slicer unit stands between you and him; a futile attempt in protecting you.

There is nowhere to run now.

“Stupid counter argument? Really? You think my reasons and concerns are stupid? My attempts to keep you safe, to prevent you from getting into trouble, they are just “stupid counter arguments” to you?” There was no doubt about it, he was pissed. “And as for listening to you, I listen to you plenty and give you opportunities to explain yourself. But when you throw a tantrum and lash out, how am I supposed to listen? How am I supposed to understand your side when you refuse to communicate like a mature child?”

Biting the inside of your cheek to ground yourself, you notice the way his fists are clenched, the metal joints grinding from the sheer pressure. Glaring up at him, you’re about to speak before you realise too late that his hand has risen.

The slap connects, the sound ringing in the hallway and in your ear. It burns, your eyes stinging just as much as your cheek from the oncoming tears. Shock and pain course through your body, your head tilted to the side from the impact. No words, not even a sound comes from your mouth as you stand there trying to process what had just happened.

Ramattra stands there, his body and systems frozen. He let his anger get the better of him and the last time he did that to someone as innocent as you, he nearly killed them. Guilt overpowers his own shock as he takes a step back. “I… I am sorry… I did not…”

Tears finally fall down your cheek, the saltiness of them making your cheek sting that little bit more. Bringing your hand up, you try to soothe the pain he had just caused.

“Little one… I– I did not mean to…” He reaches out, wanting to comfort you but your sudden flinch, your body jerking away from him, makes him quickly retract his hand. “I am sorry… I am so sorry… I– I do not know what came over me…”

The omnic takes another step back, wanting to give you distance. His systems go back through the entire situation. Could I have prevented this? The weight of his actions sink in, regret making his words shake. “I cannot… I cannot believe I have done this… to you…”

You stay silent, not knowing what to say. It’s taking everything in your body right now to not break out sobbing, the sting in your cheek making it that much more difficult. A lump forms in your throat as you look up at your guardian.

“Please… Say something… Anything…” It’s breaking his mechanical heart, just the sight of you, the fear and the pain he has caused you. The redness of your cheek, a reminder of the physical pain he has inflicted.

No words come out as they catch in your throat. Taking what little strength you have left, you walk up to Ramattra and then walk past him, keeping as much distance as possible. Your pet follows behind, its little feet tapping against the cold floor.

You do not want to be near him.

He notices the tension in both your body and the air. Guilt threatens to consumes him. He wants to reach out to you, to soothe your pain, to hold you close and make it better but he knows that he has no right to do anything of the sort. Not right now.

“Please…”

Hearing his plea, you stop and turn to face him. “I… I’ll be in your quarters, but, just… leave me alone.” Your voice was quiet, almost a whisper. You hear the soft tapping of your slicer unit hopping past you and you follow behind it.

Ramattra watches as you turn a corner and disappear from his sight. He doesn’t even bother checking the tracking device, his systems are trying to fight off the heating situation before anything else. Part of him wants to chase after you, to apologise for his actions and his words but he doesn’t move.

“[y/n]...”

He’s left alone in the hallway, regret and guilt building up inside of him. He has hurt the one person he had sworn to never lay a hand on. Then, the realisation hits him; he has become the very thing he vowed to protect you from - someone who uses violence to solve problems and assert authority. He let his own principles and values slip away in a single, careless moment.

Meanwhile, you had made your way back to his room, the door sliding open with a hiss and illuminating the dark space inside. On the floor, the broken glass and this mornings breakfast lay there. Part of you doesn’t want to pick it up, but you knew it would only cause more issues. Being as careful as you can, you pick up the broken glass, the shards clinking together in your hand as you drop them into the trash. The toast was hard, stale, hitting the bottom of the can with a loud thunk.

The slicer unit watches you intently, a series of sad sounding chirps and beeps emanating from it.

“I know…” You speak softly before climbing onto the bed. Wrapping yourself in a multitude of blankets, you move yourself as close to the wall as possible, leaving just enough space for your pet slicer to come and intrude. It nudges your arms, moving under them like a puppy would when it wants attention. The metal of its body is cold against your skin, a soft vibration coming from the unit as it snuggles up close to you, wanting to soothe the pain in both your cheek and chest as you sob against it.

Ramattra had been wandering the hallways of the base trying to come up with an apology, a reasoning, something, to make you forgive him, but he knows that he cannot change your minds that quickly. As stubborn as you are, it was a good trait to have when it comes to this. You won’t be so easily swayed and manipulated should someone get their hands on you.

His fists clench at his sides as he keeps walking before he finally finds his way back to his quarters, fingers hovering just over the keypad. He hesitates. Ramattra stands outside of his room, hearing the muffled sobs. He had been standing there for what seemed like an eternity - when in reality, it had been five minutes by the time he came back to his senses.

The door opens once more, the light from the hallway illuminating your body curled up on the bed. You’re not facing him, nor do you want to voluntarily. Ramattra notices the slicer unit lift its head up, a loud rumble escaping it to indicate it’s growling. I failed to do what you are doing now…

The larger omnic stands there, the door closing behind him. Your body shakes under the blankets and as he takes a step closer towards the bed, the slicer unit growls louder.

“Don’t. It’s not worth it.” You mumble, hand appearing from under the blankets to pull the unit back down, it’s body protesting before letting you pull it close.

There was an audible click in Ramattra’s vocaliser as he fights his own emotions. His voice is pained as he speaks quietly. “Little one… please, let me talk to you.”

“If you are going to yell, I will leave.” You warn, not wanting to take anymore of his hostility.

Ramattra takes a step closer only to watch as you shuffle further to the wall, clearly not wanting to be near him. “No, I will not yell. I just want to talk. I do not want to hurt you again.”

You can hear the clear remorse in his voice but you still don’t want to look at him. “Why should I trust you when you don’t trust me?”

Ramattra pauses. The weight of his own hypocrisy hitting him like a tonne of bricks. “You are right. I do not have the right to ask you to trust me after what I have done. My actions were wrong and I know that…” The omnic hesitates before continuing. “I want you to know that I am sorry. I am truly sorry for what I did. I do not expect you to forgive me, but I do want you to know that I never meant to harm you… I lost control and let my emotions get the better of me…”

You hum in response after listening to his apology. The warmth of the blankets makes a small bead of sweat drip down your face but you’re too stubborn to come out. Your pet slicer growls quietly as you hold it tightly. Seems like neither of you want to listen to him much longer.

Ramattra wants to leave but can’t bring himself to do so. Ignoring the slicer unit’s growl, he approaches the bed once more. “Please, little one… just hear me out. I will not force you to talk, but I need to say something that has been eating away at me…”

The silence was unnerving before Ramattra speaks once again.

“I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness… I know that I broke your trust, and that I caused you pain… I do not even deserve to be standing here right now, but I have to say this. Please… let me apologise, genuinely and from the bottom of my soul. And after I am finished, if you want me to leave, I will go and will not disturb you again.”

After a short pause, you come out of the blankets and sit up, pressing your back against the wall. The slicer unit, albeit heavy, sits on your lap shaking in anger. It takes more than the usual amount of courage to look up at Ramattra.

“Fine…” Was all you could say.

A small bruise was beginning to form under your eye, resting just on the bone of your cheek and the guilt overwhelms the larger omnic. His voice shakes, a weakness he had never once shown to anyone but his own brother countless years ago. “Little one… I am truly and sincerely sorry. I should never have laid a hand on you. I should never have hurt you. I know that I broke your trust, and that I shattered the sense of safety you had with me. I know that I hurt you both physically and emotionally.”

You can sense the guilt in his voice once more as you listen to his apology. You grab the closest blanket, bundling it up in your hands, watching as the slicer unit shakes himself free from being hidden under it. You needed some form of comfort and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be from Ramattra.

Ramattra can see the slightest hint of understanding, possibly forgiveness in your eyes but he doesn’t dare hope for much more. “I know that the words “I am sorry” alone will never be enough to erase the damage I have done. I know that words are not enough to heal the pain I have caused you, both inside and out… I know that I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, and that I have no right to hope for it… but please, please know that I am truly, deeply sorry. I know that I will never forgive myself for my actions, and I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you…”

Silence fills the room once more. Uncomfortable, unmoving.

Looking away anxiously, you have no idea what to respond with.

“I’m sorry…” You finally muster out.

“No, no… Do not be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for, little one. This is not your fault, it is mine. All of it.” Ramattra is taken aback by your apology but he takes another step closer when he notices that you won’t look at him. “Please, look at me…”

You hesitate, hearing the slicer unit rumbling quietly at the larger omnics request, but you look up at him, his faceplate still expressionless as always.

Ramattra can see the pain etched on your face, the small bruise a reminder of the slap he brought down on you nearly an hour prior. He aches to reach out, to comfort you himself but he can predict the outcome of that ordeal.

“Can I sit down?” When you nod, he tilts his head in a silent thanks before sitting down on the edge of the bed, a generous space between you and him and he was careful to not move too quickly and startle you. The silence hangs heavy in the air as he processes his next string of words.

“Forgive me for asking… but-” He hesitates, already preparing himself for the answer as he looks at you. “Do you hate me?”

The awkwardness was plastered on your face. How do you answer him? After what he’d done, you have every right to hate him but it was one slip up. One bad action. He has been taking care of you for the last year now and everything has been fine. Sure, you had your arguments, but this… this reminded you of home.

“Please, just be honest with me.” Ramattra speaks quietly. The silence that hangs in the air is almost unbearable, each second ticking by like an eternity. He watches as you look away, looking back down at the blanket that is in your hands. The slicer unit hums against your thigh, metal ridges digging into your skin but you pay it no mind.

“I don’t hate you… It’s just… I don’t know… I’m hurt…” You speak with a voice that’s nearly a whisper. You don’t want to look at your guardian, let alone talk with him but you know that if you walk or run away like last time, it will ignite another fire.

Ramattra feels a flood of hope and relief course through him despite the pain evident in your voice. You do not hate me? After what I have done to you?

“I feel like I have destroyed everything between us. I have broken your trust.” Ramattra calmly analyses your demeanour as he notices the way you cling to the blanket. You need comfort and he wants to provide what you need, but he knows all too well that he has no right to do so.

He takes a shaky breath, not that he needs to, but to cool his systems. “I do not know how to make this right.” He finally admits after a short pause. He wants to salvage what is left of his relationship with you, he doesn’t want to be like your parents. He genuinely cares for you, wants you to be a part of his life despite his hatred for humankind.

“I just need time… and space.” Your hand comes up to pat the slicer units head, wanting to soothe its anger and your anxiety.

Ramattra wants to protest, he wants to actually beg for your forgiveness. He doesn’t want to give you space, he wants to be there for you, but your words ring loud in his systems.

Time and space.

How long? How much space?

“I understand.” He finally speaks up. “Just… Promise me one thing, little one.”

“What is it?” You keep your head bowed, focussing on your motions against the slicer units head.

“Promise me that if you need anything, no matter what it is, to come to me, okay?”

Just the request alone makes your body shudder and your hand freeze. After what he’s done, he has the audacity to ask such a thing?

“I will.” You lie. Whatever it takes to get him to leave. You want to be alone. You want to be away from him.

The larger omnic breathes a sigh of relief, his systems calming down. He wants to say more, to keep apologising until his vocaliser hums static. “Thank you.”

He takes one last look at you, your body tense as you stay seated with your back against the wall. Your guard is up and rightfully so. Ramattra stands from the bed, walking back towards the door to give you that much needed space you desire. He can’t bear to look at your frightened form so he speaks to the door. “Please, take care of yourself.”

You don’t look at him, though, just out of the corner of your eye, you can see that his back is turned, beige fabric wafting gently from his movements. “I’ll be here.”

“I will be nearby if you need me.” With hesitancy, Ramattra leaves the room, the door separating the two of you once more. He takes a moment to compose himself, the regret, the guilt swelling inside of him as he tries to calm down but no amount of meditation will make it evaporate. Just as he’s about to walk away, he hears you break out sobbing. He tenses before shaking his head.

He can’t go back in.

He has to leave.

His footsteps echo throughout the halls as he makes his way around the base. There was no destination in mind, it was just him wandering until he either found his way back to his quarters or until he wore the metal of his feet away.

Meanwhile, you pull the blanket around your body, snuggling it up close to your bruised cheek. The soft fibres of the blanket provide a sense of comfort to you, something you wish that Ramattra could give.

Your hand tightens around the fabric before you remove it from your face. The anger swirls in your mind once more but you can’t entirely blame him for his actions. You roused him, you pissed him off. If you didn’t run and instead spoke to him, you wouldn’t have been struck…

But, on the other hand, if he had just listened to you in the first place, if he would’ve just understood that you didn’t want to disturb his charging time just for some toast and didn’t start yelling at you for your “careless behaviour”, then maybe you wouldn’t have run.

Groaning out, you fall back against the bed, your pet slicer coming up and curling beside you, emanating warmth against the side of your body.

Ramattra had made his way towards the control room after several laps of the base, the hum of electronics being the only noise in the room. He’s slouched in the chair, optics staring up at the muted monitors. The reality hits him hard, fingers tapping away at the table before swiftly throwing everything off of the control panel, letting it crash on the floor.

His systems involuntarily go through the scene; the way your head snapped to the side as his hand connected to your cheek. The heat and redness that instantly swelled, the tears that pricked your eyes. Your shock. Fear.

It scared him more than he’d like to admit. From your first encounter, being so friendly and unnerved by his presence, holding his hand and examining him to this… timid and frightened child.

He growls, slamming his fist against the control panel. Your stubbornness is just as bad as his, you have a sharp tongue, quick to respond when provoked… and now… You hesitate. You step back, you go as far back as you can possibly get.

“I messed up. This is all my fault.” Ramattra fights his own thoughts, fights against his systems to rid the nightmare that plagues his optics. His hands fiddle with the holopad, pads of his fingers beginning to type, beginning to work. He wants to forget.

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours and Ramattra had finalised three separate plans and a backup plan for each. Whilst focussing on the tedious part of counting numbers for his army, he doesn’t hear the beeping of the tracking device.

You’re on the move.

As you’re walking through the maze of hallways, the little slicer unit trots alongside you much like a puppy with it’s owner. You’re still clutching the blanket in your hands as you pass several Null Sector units but none of them pay you any mind. You’re a visitor, you’re not a threat.

Ramattra had changed their programming, granted it took longer than he had anticipated, but seeing you able to interact with them as a curious kid should do, it warmed his circuits. You were careful and gentle, small hands tracing their ridges and curvatures. You treated them like they were omnics, not war machines. You treated them as if they were friends, not enemies.

Perhaps, that was when Ramattra found himself yearning to keep you close by.

As he’s inputting the last set of numbers into the database, there was a quiet and timid sounding knock on the door causing Ramattra to snap out of his work daze. He fell silent, wondering if he was just hearing things, but when the knock sounds again, he perks up, sitting straighter in his chair.

He waits for a moment longer before speaking up and then returning back to his plans. “Come in.” Ramattra hears the door hiss open before it shuts again, but there was no talking. The quick succession of tip-tapping makes him turn around, watching as your slicer unit makes a beeline for the sofa on the far side of the room, instantly jumping up and resting on it, humming quietly.

Familiarity.

Ramattra turns his attention to you, your slow movement forwards making him feel uncertain about the upcoming conversation. You’re here for a reason, either you’re going to change your mind and now hate him, or you forgive him. Ramattra leans towards the hatred.

The blanket drags behind you, picking up small particles of debris as you keep walking towards the control panel where Ramattra was still seated.

A pang of guilt rises within the larger omnic upon seeing the bruise that has formed on your cheek. The reminder of his actions will haunt him until it fades and then some days or even weeks after the fact. He could always wipe the nightmare from his systems, never to be remembered again, but should it be brought up in another argument, should it be mentioned, he would have no idea what you were talking about.

Rustling breaks him out of his thoughts. He doesn’t realise how close you had gotten as you stand in front of him.

Innocent eyes catch his optics behind the faceplate. Uncertainty. Hesitation.

Just get on with it. Tell me you hate me. I will let you go.

What he didn’t anticipate was your outstretched arms towards him. Words had caught in your throat, all sounds had caught in your throat, blocked by the lump that had settled there the moment you had knocked on the door.

Ramattra hesitates, his systems freezing momentarily as he attempts to process your request. Without thinking a second longer, he slides out of the chair, knees hitting the cold floor beneath him as he pulls you to his chest. Large arms wrap around your small body as he holds you close.

The hum of his inner workings vibrate against your cheek and he’s warmer than usual. You can hear a faint thumping, perhaps coolant pumping through his chassis, though it sounds more like a heartbeat. The thought alone makes you smile.

“Rama…” Your voice was muffled against the blanket, his arm and his chest. He pulls back slightly, letting you shift within his arms.

“Yes, little one?” He looks down at you, his hands releasing their tight grip on your body.

There was a moment of silence, a hesitation before you speak. “I forgive you.”

Ramattra’s hands twitch against you, systems repeating your words inside of his head. “You forgive me?” I did not expect you to forgive me so soon, if at all…

He watches as you nod before he’s pulling you back against his chest, his hand rubbing up and down your back in a soothing motion. It was a moment short lived as you pull back completely and Ramattra silently sighs for he already misses your embrace.

“I… I’m sorry for running off. And yelling. It’s my fault that you lost your temper.” Your small hands grip the blanket tightly as you apologise, but Ramattra wasn’t having it.

“No, do not apologise. This was not your fault. I lost my temper. It is my responsibility to have control over my emotions and I let my own anger get the better of me.” He places a reassuring hand on your shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

“I shouldn’t have yelled… I’m sorry.” You look away, eyes focusing on the holopad that’s on the floor.

Ramattra tilts his head to the side before shaking it. His hand moves from your shoulder to your chin, turning your head and forcing you to look at him. “You have nothing to apologise for. I am the one who lost control and I hurt you. This is not your fault, little one.”

He can sense that you want to argue back but you bite your tongue. It would only drag the situation on longer and neither of you have either the strength nor the patience to start another argument.

“Are you okay? That bruise looks bad.” His moves his hand from your chin to cup your cheek, thumb gently brushing over the small pained area.

“It hurts to smile sometimes.” You admit, glancing off to the side. It still pains Ramattra that he did this to you, guilt still simmering inside of his circuits. “You are always so concerned about me.”

Ramattra chuckles lightly, hand falling to his side as he looks at you. “Of course I am concerned about you. It is my responsibility to take care of you and I do care about you. I do not wish to see you hurt, by anybody's hand, might I add.” He pauses, head tilting once again. “I care about you a lot, [y/n].”

The admission makes your heart beat a tad bit faster and Ramattra’s systems pick up on it instantly.

“Come here.” He opens his arms, an invitation for you which there was no hesitation in taking. You wrap your arms around his back, hands holding onto the silver metal braces as his arms comfortably wrap around your frame. “I just need to know that you are safe. Your safety is my utmost priority.”

“And I just want you to trust me.” You say softly.

Ramattra moves a hand to the back of your head, rubbing up and down to soothe the remaining anxiety inside of you.

“You and your oversized kitchen knife of a pet make that extremely difficult.” Ramattra retorts, his chest vibrating as he chuckles.

You can’t help the giggle that escapes you at his remark about your pet slicer unit. “You love us.”

“That I do, little menace. That I do.”

#overwatch #ramattra #ramattra x reader #overwatch 2 #reader insert #child!reader #overwatch fanfiction #yazzfics

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isa-ghost · 1 month ago

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(BTW I'm very down with wanting sapnap being dead for being sapnap I just wanted to be sure I was hip qirh the kids and pissed for the Correct reason)

DLSKFLSJFSKF SORRY I WAS OUT TOUCHING GRASS WHEN YOU SENT ME YOUR FIRST ANON.

Also in hindsight I worded this answer like you have 0 clue who Shartnap is but I'm gonna keep it that way for anyone who sees this and Doesn't Go Here At All.

Here's a good overview post abt Crapnap from my friend.

This Specific Instance we're wishing death upon him more than the default amount because he's participating in Squidcraft, a Latino-made/hosted and primarily Latino-played Minecraft competition with a big cash prize. (Aka that irrelevant ass sweaty ass racist Texan is literally only playing to win more money he doesn't need. He also won last year's SC 🙄). Last year there were a few non-Latino players (like him), but this year there were a BUNCH, most likely thanks to the existence of QSMP. There were Americans, Brits, and French just to name a few!

My mutual @pixiecaps has been the most outspoken on my dash about the dumbshit being in Squidcraft, so I'll tag them here and they can add any additional context they see fit in the reblogs or replies. They might have insight or perspective that I don't bc they're Latino and I'm not. 👍🏻 And this was baby's first Squidcraft for me purely bc QSMP members were in it, so idk much abt previous ones whereas Pix might.

It's annoying enough that Crapnap is in the competition at all, but yesterday a bunch of other previous DSMP members (Philza, Tubbo, Foolish, to name a few) all died in one of the games together and were thus eliminated. Shatnap's petty nobody poopy ass was literally CHEERING when they all died, which is poor sportsmanship for one (he has none tho let's be real here), and two: No Toxicity is one of the competition rules. So by all means, he should be investigated by the Squidcraft mods and (hopefully) disqualified for his bullshit.

And some additional context bc my guess is this all plays into why he was so outwardly toxic like that: Tubbo has outspokenly hated the Dr*m Team for a while now. He also had direct beef with Shatnap bc the dumbfuck tried migrating to Kick (basically Twitch for bigots & predators, to say the least).

AND, most relevant and recent: Philza was just on Tommy and Jack Manifold's podcast Shut Up I'm Talking about a week ago, and on the Patreon version of the episode the three of them talked about how Dr*m is a piece of shit, they all hate him, and how nasty and weird he was behind the scenes during DSMP, especially to Tommy.

Dr*m Team 100% knows this was all said, bc a) some of it was clipped ofc and b) Dr*m fucking posted the DSMP world download as damage control after people started talking abt what was said on the episode bc god forbid he look bad and get negative attention for 2 seconds. He's been begged by numerous people for LITERALLY LIKE 3 YEARS to drop the world download and only JUST did it to do damage control and make himself look all good and innocent or At Least distract people (spoiler alert: didn't work, he just made himself look even more pathetic. He basically gave the people who correctly hate him a gift in addition to clowning on him).

Shartnap literally lives with Dr*m, so there's no way he doesn't know Tommy, Jack & Phil have spoken some of the truth TECHNICALLY PRIVATELY. IT WAS ON PATREON BEHIND A PAYWALL.

Soooo yeah. As usual, Dr*m Team fucking sucks ass (many such cases, no one is surprised). Crapnap is the ""last remaining"" of the Dr*m Team to not have some Extreme horrific controversy and that's what keeping him able to be in competitions like this, rather than isolated to a shitty corner with the other two dumbfucks. (CLARIFICATION: He DOES have controversies. You can assume what some of them are based off of things said in that post I linked. Plus the Kick thing. But in comparison to Dr*m [a groomer, among other things], and George [sexual predator, among other things], Shatnap is ""the least awful"" of them, which is almost definitely why he's still ""welcome"" in competitions like this one).

Additional silly context: I'm calling him variations of shit because he openly admitted sometime earlier this year that he shit himself (or at least sharted) on stream.

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thefantastickatinator · 13 days ago

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Idk what you did to keep getting asks about the whole "dropout discourse" thing happening but I keep seeing you on my dash and I wanted to say I respect the heck outta how level headed and respectful you've been (from what I've seen) about the whole thing. I'm in the "dropout needs to hire more trans women" camp, and it's incredibly disheartening when I see people using strawman arguments to try and make divisive points that do little more than "other" groups of people. So thank you for your good-faith arguments and respect towards everyone 🙏

Thank you! I’m definitely not perfect but I’m trying not to make things worse.

I made this post pointing out some data methodology errors in the data that a trans woman posted for underrepresentation in dropout media. I think a lot of people thought that me posting that meant that I didn’t agree with her or other trans women or that I thought their points were invalid. When in actuality I completely agree, I just think the way she did it was dishonest and designed to be inflammatory (and ironically completely hides the lack of trans men represented in dropout casting by lumping them in with all non cis afabs, who she calls non-cis “TME” like that’s a demographic indicator) . I also think the original post that started this discourse was purposely inflammatory and designed to piss off people and start a huge fight where people are throwing around “transmisogynist” and “hysterical” around, though I never saw this post because I blocked her for being a huge asshole in the replies of another post before I realized she was the one who started this discourse.

Here’s the evidence/list of facts I made

I ask everyone who agrees with me and thinks I’m level headed to please reblog the post linked above. Don’t let people who are trying to start fights erase the message. Block them and remember:

Dropout should hire more trans women.

#dropout #transmisogyny

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headgehug · 1 year ago

Text

beat generation dash simulator

📝 windblownworld

I need to run away and live on a mountain fr

#jack.txt #my buddy gary @ dharmabum has a good gig lined up for me next summer. #feels like forever away #fuck my life

( 1 note )

❕️This post has been flagged for the following community warnings: mature

📚 starvinghystericalnaked

okay, you know what, fuck you. fuck. you. there's nothing "obscene" about my poem. in fact the bible is more "obscene" than this. maybe if you had the guts to read it you'd understand that YOU are the problem. WE are the movement WE are the people WE are the answer.

🔁 🐒 oldbulllee14

Allen, I completely agree with you. Customs officials are a load of cock-sucking bastards. Next time you are in town, come over. I just got back from Mexico if you know what I mean.

🔁 📚 starvinghystericalnaked

say less 👀🍃

#like for real say less LMFAO if the feds are on tumblr we are so fucked

( 30 notes )

🚗 coloradocarjacker-deactivated04011948

"Well it's about time you wrote, I was fearing you farted out on top that mean mountain or slid under while pissing in Pismo, beach of flowers, food and foolishness, but I knew rhe fear was ill-founded for balancing it in my thoughts of you, much stronger and valid if you weren't dead, was a realization of the experiences you would be having sown there, rail, home, and the most important, climate, by a remembrance of...

🔁📝 windblown world

needed this right now. missing you, brother.

#does anyone know if neal remade or is he just gone? #did he say anything to anyone? he told me he was just remaking

( 2,396 notes )

🎶 bopaholicedie Follow

happy 1 year anniversary of the official annulment of my marriage

#if you're reading this jack go to hell. I wish you'd rotted to death in jail with that m*rderer #after all these years and not even a fucking thank you

( 2 notes )

📝 windblownworld

logging off indefinitely. my editor needs a draft of my book by the new year and I already blew my advance so there's no way I can ask for an extension. if you see me online tell me to fuck off

#mutuals can still send letters

Pinned post

( 0 notes )

❤️‍🔥 lucienspress

feeling blessed for all of my good friends today. real ones know — rip d.k. '44 — keep the hustlers and parasites at arms length, we'll get through this!

#this one goes out to you jack! 🙌 hit me up sometime

( 74 notes )

🛤 railmanmoriarty Follow

what's up motherfuckers! remade from @coloradocarjacker

🔁 📝 windblownworld

neal? holy shit. is that you? are you busy tonight?

🔁 🛤 railmanmoriarty Follow

kerouac my boy my lad my good man for you I am never busy I have to just drop carolyn off at the motel and procure a fine feast dinner for her and the kids and then maybe an hour two just setting around making sure she's and they're alright and then if you pick me up at 10 no I better say 10:45 not a minute later than ten forty five pm jack I will be fired up and ready to go out with you

( 4 notes )

📝 windblownworld

SAL AND DEAN ON THE PROWL TONIGHT JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS!!! if you want to party with the OGs first rounds on me.

#NYC beat scene #jack.txt

( 12 notes )

❤️‍🔥 lucienspress

"Make 'em laugh, make 'em cry, make 'em horny."

#quotes #beatnik #beat literature #deep #counterculture #new york city #on the road core #kerouaquette #writer #writing advice

( 500 notes )

#jack kerouac #beat generation #beat literature #dashboard simulator #don't let this flop i spent way too long on it >_<

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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AITA for calling an nd popular girl malicious and saying she should change her therapist in a group chat?

I'm also nd and I do feel guilty, but I'm also mad about this. All participants are over the age of 25 and qpoc.

Popular girl, generic posts gets 100+ likes within hours, known for being really vocal social justice warrior and entertaining clapbacks at enemies (usually anons). I followed because some of my friends follow, all of us like the big array of interests (including fandom) we get on our dashes from her rather than the following type of posts.

This girl has a habit of telling "stories" about her internet life, particularly, every time she got into a fight with some other accounts. It's sometimes one sided, it's often times over small things that either she exaggerates or she herself made worse by "clapbacking" or accusing others of commiting heinous crimes over like a badly phrased sentence or saying something subjective she personally dislikes. For example calling someone mentally disturbed and underdeveloped for reminding her of a basic fandom etiquette she deems childish or ridiculing someone for liking a common unproblematic fiction trope then then making multiple provocative posts meant to take a piss at them. The anons often would come back to her annoyed or to tell her off. That way a normal conversation becomes a fight and she becomes the victim of harassment.

Back to her "stories", basically she makes long posts detailing all these fights she got into over the years, publicly names and shames them, tracks url changes or remade accounts too, makes little remarks like "they shouldn't have started a beef with Me" or "I could have doxed them if I wanted to" and always ending with "I'm sorry I can't be normal anymore after what I went thru" referring to one or two times she did get cyberstalked and harassed by an obsessive anon who made multiple accounts to do this. She has her group of people who validate her and they all think they're more mature than those anons, most of her followers find the stories damn entertaining.

This is a common type of popular mean girls that I have grown desensitized to, so I'm not a real great person either for still following people like her for non-confrontational posts I recognize that and I'm trying to do better. Some time ago, after months of following her, I realized (with help) it wasn't good for my mental health to keep seeing her posts and putting her name on my blog at all was support I didn't want to give her. I blocked her and her freinds.

This week, one of my GCs got newcomers and were asking for informative good blogs to follow, a couple members suggested her blog so I warned against her. Told them she was not a nice presence, she might find some small thing to hate about them and make a mountain of hate out of it, suggested other blogs etc. Those two fans of her got annoyed, told me to not influence others' actions, she was just a hurt woman who supported many causes she wasn't different from most twitter girlies etc. They're not friends with her but knowing her and her followers I might get featured on her storytime one day /s.

The text is all about her but the situation is between me and the gc newcomers so that's why I think I was an asshole for influencing their decision and badmouthing a random person who irritates me to some strangers?

I have my own therapist btw, plenty of trees to touch too, don't worry about that.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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ultralightpoe · 2 years ago

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hear me out hear me out, tear you apart by she wants revenge. thinking very enemies to lovers hate fuckin kinda thing. obviously its really up to you but this song is very hot lol

Tear You Apart- Aemond Targaryen

Description: Aemond hates you and you hate him, but why did he feel so freaking good all the time

Authors Note: BUCKLE IN BITCHES! Also my requests are open for April, take a look at this post to see the request event and send some in! Happy April!

Warnings: Smut, adultery, fun fun fun

Word Count: 2924

Enjoy!

Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right

At the right place and right time, maybe tonight

And the whisper or handshake sending a sign

Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind

Alicent was punishing him. Not that she would ever admit to it, or he could ever prove, but it was just something he knew. Because there was absolutely no reason that you should be seated next to him as this gods forsaken dinner.

Aemond had known you had entered the second his spine locked up, nervousness and anxiety racking through him as he risked a glance in your direction to see that you were already looking at him. You had walked in, a smarmy smile laced on your face, with your arm laced through your new husbands and a dazzling necklace across your neck.

You squinted a bit at him before turning to whisper something in your husband's ear and Aemond found himself squeezing the goblet in his hand and trying his best not to sneer or rip his nephew's head off.

You had chosen the bastard over him. How pathetic. So scared of your own emotions that you ran to the easiest target rather than facing the fucking truth.

A smug feeling filled his chest at the thought of you moaning his name while in bed with his cowardly nephew, that feeling quickly being washed away by the sound of his mothers voice. “Lady Y/n, how radiant you look. Dare I say….glowing?”

His hand tightened across the goblet again, red blinding his sight before you answered with a small laugh. “Not yet, but not from lack of trying. I swear.”

Your voice was bragging and he tried not to laugh. As if his nephew could actually give you any form of pleasure. Not after you had Aemond.

“I do apologize for our seating arrangement, you are in between my two boys tonight for the meal.” Alicent smiles before passing you and moving to greet her old friend. You turn to Aemond and give him a polite smile before turning to Jacaerys and kissing his cheek.

Before Aemond could remove himself from the table your husband was blocking his path, pulling out your chair for you and kissing your head, leaning down to mutter a soft “Remember the plan” before moving to his own side of the table.

Aemond loses sight of him the second he is away from you, because he cannot seem to drag his eyes anywhere else. Gods, he hated you. Hated everything about you. From the perfect hair to the gorgeous eyes all the way to the natural way you seemed to win everyone over. Witch.

You move your head to make eye contact and the second you do his heart stops dead in his chest. It was annoying that you still had this power over him.

“If you look any closer you might burn right through me….prince.” You smile, batting your eyelashes the way you always knew riled him up. It was like you enjoyed pissing him off.

“Good. Last I checked we were supposed to burn the witches.” He replies, trying to keep a nonchalant attitude. He knew the second the smile laced your features that he was correct, you really did enjoy pissing him off.

“Well since I am a witch I feel quite free to lie. By the way, your eye patch looks dashing tonight. Really brings out the purple of your eye.”

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe if you play nice with your nephews I’ll take pity on you.”

He was so close to responding before everyone else took their seats and he was left in silence while you turned your attention to the king. Only you weren’t actually paying attention.

You played it normal, and Aemond nearly jumped out of his skin when your hand met his under the table, a soft touch from your pinky onto his.

He tears his hand away, turning to glare at you before you roll your own and lean back, a heat traveling across his skin when you wink.

You were mocking him. He knew it.

“Aemond, is it true that you and Lady Y/n grew up together?” Lord Stark asks, forcing Aemond to drag his eyes away from you.

“Indeed. We had studies together.” You answer for him, smiling lightly as you leant forward to grab your goblet.

“I taught her everything she knows.” Aemond says this as he looks to his nephew, that smug feeling returning again as his nephew sneers. That’s right, I made her cum long before you.

When he glances back to you, the conversation moving away from him finally, you are already staring at him once again. This time your eyes are hooded, and he knows that you caught on to his jab.

“I believe I taught you a few useful tricks myself.” You whisper, before turning away to talk to the person on your right.

His entire body is aflame at the memories and a harsh anger rises in him. Of course you would do this, marry his nephew then rub it in his face.

You had led him on. You had tore him up as though it was nothing.

Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her

Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped

But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light

When she walked in, he froze up, believe its the fright

You ignored his existence the rest of dinner, not that Aemond minded because he got many opportunities to glance at you this way.

He watched the way you fixed your hair and the way your hand caresses the bodice of your dress when you bring it back down. He looks at the exposed part of your neck before his eyes catch on the pulse point.

How easy it would be to just lean over and bite you the way he knows you like. How easy it would be to reach his hand up your skirt and- Your eyes cast to him before he can finish the thought and he soon realizes that everyone is staring at him.

“I apologize, I seem to have dazed off.” He rushes out, trying not to get embarrassed under your gaze. “I do not feel well, I believe I should return to my chambers.”

Before anyone could argue his request he is out of the chair, burning through the room and heading to his own chambers across the keep. It was uncomfortable to walk due to the aching hard on he now wore, and he was desperate to make it to his rooms to fix this problem.

He felt like a stupid fool. You probably barely thought of him, and here he was pining after you. Pining after the traitor.

By the time he pushes the door to his chambers his chest is heaving and every piece of him feels as though it is on fire. Ragged breaths consumed him as his fingers worked to tear off his leathers.

“Fuck.” He curses, when his finger snags on the leather of his riding pants, hopping out of his boots to hop on the bed. His back hits the cushion of it and he stares at the ceiling for a moment so he could calm down and focus.

He could not think about you. He hated you. You betrayed him and he hated you-

Before he could stop himself he reached down, a moan slipping from his lips as he touched himself, your face flashing in his mind. No no no. This was wrong and he hated you.

But that didn’t stop him from sitting up, working himself faster as he imagined you above him, moaning to him just as you used to at the speed you liked- fuck Y/n. fuck fuck fu-

Y/n.

You were there. In the doorway with wide eyes and a blush on your cheeks as he stopped short, a ragged whine passing his lips when he realized.

Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak

And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak

An escape is just a nod and a casual wave

Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days

“I wasn’t…” The lie begins to slip from his lips before he can stop it, but halfway through he realizes that he shouldn’t have to lie. You had seen him do this countless times, how was today different?

You were married. And you shouldn’t be here. “Leave.”

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, eyes welling up as you take a step back before you turn. Only you don’t leave, when your hand touches the door you risk a glance over your shoulder to where he is still sitting, still completely bare to you. “I’m sorry you hate me.”

“I’m not.” He sneers, face heating as your eyes track across his body. “You are a lying whore.”

“Indeed.”

“And you took everything I gave you and threw it away.”

“If that’s what you believe.”

You stared, unmoving, as he stood and walked closer. Everything in him screamed to pull you close and he was infuriated that even after all this time he still craved your touch. He still dreamt of having you in his sheets just as you used to.

“You should leave.” He whispers, his chest meeting yours as he looks down on you, hands clenched at his sides to keep from grasping them in your hair like he wanted.

“I should.” You reply, leaning your nose up to touch against his. The second your skin meets his he is gone, hands whipping up to your hair as he pulls you in for a rough and ragged kiss.

It's only just a crush, it'll go away

It's just like all the others it'll go away

Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know

You pray it all away but it continues to grow

Maybe if he just got you out of his system it would be better. He could hate you from a distance after this and everything would be fine. But the moment his lips touch your own he knows he is a goner.

A warmth bleeds through his chest as you kiss back, your hands wrapping around to pull him closer by his back and he pushes you both forward until you are pressed against the door. A grunt pushes through him when his hands travel your body, lifting your skirt to touch the back of your thighs and help you hop up.

Tearing yourself away to catch your breath gives him a moment to stare at you, the smug feeling returning once again. “Where is your husband?”

“Don’t ask.” You gasp, pulling him back in for another kiss. He stabilizes you both so you can reach and undo your corset, biting his lip harshly and making him groan out.

“I hate you-”

“I hate you more.” He enjoyed the way you gasped that out, allowing him to suck at your neck as both of you begin grinding into each other. “Aemond please-”

“Please what?”

I want to hold you close

Skin pressed against me tight

Lie still, and close your eyes girl

So lovely, it feels so right

“Aemond.” You try again, leaning to catch his head in your hands and pull him up to face you. “I’m so-”

“That’s not what I want to hear and you know it.” He seethes, pushing your skirt up higher. “I don’t want to hear your fake fucking apologies.”

And then the dam breaks and you are rushing forward to kiss him again, your teeth clash against each other and you bite down harshly before pulling back, eyes hooded. “Then fuck me. Fuck me like you hate me.”

I want to hold you close

Soft breasts, beating heart

As I whisper in your ear

I want to fucking tear you apart

He doesn’t waste any time, dragging you both to the bed and slamming you across the sheets, laying on top of you with a fire in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. “This is familiar.”

A small laugh tears from your throat when he grips your corset and tears it in half, growling a bit as he moves to your skirt. The sound of cloth ripping fills the room and you sit up quickly, snatching the eye patch off his face before he can fight it.

A hand wraps around your wrist tightly, dragging the patch back. “No. I want to see you, Aemond.” You argue, keeping your arm tight as he grunts out before finally letting go.

He can’t argue that, nor can he argue the proud feeling he gets from those words, instead he crawls up your body until you are nose to nose. You smile at him and for a moment he can imagine himself back to the moments you used to have, before you were married off.

“Breathe.” He whispers, just like he always had, before he is pushing himself into you. A groan escapes him at the same time you gasp out, hands scratching along his back as he fills you fully and for the first time in a long time he felt at home,

It disgusted him.

“I hate you.”

“Then show me.” You laugh and he gives in.

Then he walked up and told her, thinking that he'd passed

And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance

Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there

Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare

The room filled with grunts and the heavy sound of skin slapping, Aemonds hands landing on the bed above both your shoulders to keep you trapped close to him as his hips snapped into you over and over.

“You’re…..a….fucking whore-” He seethes, grunting louder as you moan out. “A fucking traitor.”

He laughs when you come undone, moving to lean down closer and press his nose to your cheek when you turn away. “I’m not done yet.”

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do

'Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school

But their lips met, and reservations started to pass

Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

He takes you over and over, telling himself each time would be the last, but he couldn’t get enough. It was like a beast that had been let out of its cage and was ravaging anything it possibly could.

By the time he had his fill, 5 rounds later when the sun began coming up, he let you sleep beside him as he kept you close. His hand laid on your thigh as you curled yourself up, breathing evenly as you dreamt.

Just one more kiss and he would be good. He would be rid of this craving, he swears it.

But when his lips touched your forehead very softly he closed his eyes and held them there, mentally begging himself to just get up and never touch you again. He hates you.

“A traitorous whore.” You murmur, eyes still closed, and his eyebrows pop up in surprise. “That’s what you are thinking. I know it.”

“Am I wrong?”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

Either way he wanted her and this was bad

He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy

Now a little crush turned into a like

And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

You left the next morning in one of his tunics, with a limp in your step that had his heart beating quickly but he ignored it, holding a hand to his chest to try and stop it.

When the door shuts he turns back to the bed, shoving his nose in the pillow you had slept and and imagined if you could stay, if you had married him instead.

Pathetic.

I want to hold you close

Skin pressed against me tight

Lie still, and close your eyes girl

So lovely, it feels so right

The halls were filled with people cheering and wearing flower crowns, the courtyard filled with twice as much music.

Aemond sat under the tree feeling sick and angry.

They were celebrating you, or rather your child. The news had passed quickly that you had begun your labors in the early hours of the day, with Rhaenyra by your side and your ‘devoted husband’.

“Brother!” Helaena calls, snapping him out of his moping. “Come!”

Ever the attentive brother he stands, moving to follow her through the halls as she holds her baby in her hands. She talks his ear off as they join their mother, her face pulled into a tight frown.

The two ladies lead him to Rhaenyras chambers, where you are laid out on the bed with sweat covering your skin and a small bundle in your arms. Rhaenyra is giving you the widest smile he has ever seen his sister give and many people are congratulating Jahaerys.

“Have you heard the good news?” A Lord asks, leaning in to whisper to Aemond. “Lady Y/n has delivered a Targaryen. White hair and all.”

Memories of your last night flash together, of Jahearys asking you about a plan and you showing up to his rooms.

A wide smile covers his face when he looks up to find you already staring at him, a knowing and tired look on your own features. Oh, how he hated you.

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