#i keep changing him but ive at least drawn him

[myymi]

how does one turn sonic into a dragon without him looking like a cursed fusion of a nightfury and deadly nadder

[finchinmoria]

LOTR Characters as surgical hospital staff

I've had a million surgeries growing up (give or take) and was in the hospital again recently, and I coped by casting my comfort characters as hospital staff, as one does.

Please allow me to present my over-idealized hospital scenario in the form of... LOTR characters as hospital workers:

Frodo: Works the surgery admissions desk. Even at 5:45 in the morning he is cheerful and attentive. He always jumps up to help people with wheelchairs/canes or to point out the most comfortable seat in the waiting room. He asks questions gently and translates medical/insurance jargon so that different types of patients can understand them best. After he secures your hospital bracelet (verifying name and date of birth, of course) he walks with you down the hall to your next stop to get ready for pre-op. He enjoys being the first point of contact for patients because he can try to set the tone to ease anxieties. He doesn’t say he hopes everything goes well with your surgery… he assures you it will!

Merry: Pre-op nurse. Going in and out between rooms sometimes gets hectic but he’s pretty laid back and somehow has the timing of changing into hospital gowns down to a science so no one is ever waiting too long or interrupted disrobed. Gets your IV in with no problem and is more than generous with heated blankets, to the point you could probably make a blanket fort. Always talks about the randomest things to keep your mind off the surgery you’ll soon be having. Has nothing but praise for the anesthesiologist.

Éowyn: The anesthesiologist. She’s covered in medical PPE, but communicates clearly just from her eyes and voice. She sits next to your bed while she goes over everything and gives you honest answers even if they’re scary. When you ask for a little pre-anesthesia sedation she mixes up the perfect dose that doesn’t hit you too hard. It actually makes you feel relaxed, not just sedated.

Arwen: The OR nurse that accompanies you from pre-op into the surgical room. She hooks up your oxygen and talks to you while everyone else rushes around. She has a talent for reassuring eye contact. Everything is bright and overwhelming but her gentle, low voice gives you something to focus on. She asks gentle questions, explains what is going on, and holds your hand if you need. She’s the one telling you to count backward from ten as you get a little dizzy, and it’s her soothing words that give you permission to drift off to sleep.

Faramir: Post-op nurse, monitoring you when you’re waking up from the anesthesia. He knows all the right things to say to all your weird questions and nonsensical statements as you come out of it. Gently keeps you from disrupting your oxygen tube. Interprets enough of your loopy sentences to discern that you actually need nausea medicine and stays on top of it.

Aragorn: Inexplicably the only phlebotomist the hospital apparently has. He’s the one that takes your blood in pre-op and you think you’ll never see him again, but when they decide they need an emergency lab done late one night during your hospital stay, he’s the one that shows up, knocking incredibly soft on your door before he enters. Somehow he remembers everything you had talked about when he first saw you in pre-op, and picks up the conversation pretty much where you left off. He has a talent for talking about the things that make you just happy enough to distract you from getting blood drawn. Of everyone, he looks the most out of place in scrubs but that somehow makes you trust him more.

Pippin: The night shift nurse technician with the worst ever luck. If he’s on shift it’s pretty much guaranteed the blood pressure cuff will never work properly and the IV pump will explode, or at the very least make all manner of beeping noises at the worst times. He’s visibly relieved when you tell him you couldn’t sleep anyway, so you don’t mind, after five solid minutes of trying to shut the machine up. After things settle down he’s genuinely concerned over how difficult it is for you to sleep and checks in on you more often through the night. After his shift, you recall some lighthearted chats you’ve had with him through the night and it’s enough to help you finally get some rest in the early morning.

Galadriel: Radiologist that shows up to whisk you away to a different part of the hospital with cool art on the walls and stained glass panels on the ceiling. Everything is kind of floaty and you’re still unsteady but she’s way stronger than she looks and gets you on the table for your imaging with ease. It’s quite comfortable and the only thing you’ve done in this place since you checked in with Frodo that hasn’t hurt. This makes you kind of emotional, plus you’re still out of it from pain meds and not sleeping so you blurt out that she’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your life. (She probably hears that all the time.)

Haldir: Day shift nurse that keeps everything on the floor running the way it needs to. He keeps you informed exactly of what to expect with everything you have going on: meds, IV changes, checks on your incision and drains. He always makes sure you’re ready for physical therapy on time, though he absolutely hates it when PT plays games in the hallway. (He tries not to let his feelings about this show to patients, because he knows they love playing games in the hallway, but he certainly will not hesitate to confiscate various sporting accoutrements if they become disruptive.)

Legolas & Gimli: The two physical therapists that work your floor, and they take turns. Of course their trading off turns into a competition. You walked half the length of the hall with Gimli, but the next day you walked the entire length of the hall with Legolas. Gimli gets ahead when you tackle not one but TWO stairs. It becomes obvious you are making better progress on Gimli days, so Legolas tries to win by bringing a volleyball for you to kick around the hallway. When things get out of hand and Haldir intervenes, Legolas says it was Gimli’s idea. (He then hides the volleyball from Haldir in your room.)

Gandalf: The random hospital chaplain that never shows up at the same time twice, even though he always says he’ll stop by “right before lunch.” Sometimes it’s 8 AM sometimes it’s 2 in the afternoon, once it was almost midnight, but you were awake and it was nice to have company for a few minutes. (The only problem is if he shows up during PT. Legolas will cut your session short so you can visit, Gimli will make him wait.) You think Gandalf should maybe be talking about religious stuff since that’s his job but he talks about anything you bring up or are interested in. Has been known to hang out and watch entire movies on the Classic Films channel with patients and sneak in vending machine snacks.

Boromir: Fills in one night as night shift nurse (he’s usually in the ICU). He doesn’t talk much at first, but he’s incredibly observant. As soon as he enters the room, before you can say anything about it feeling uncomfortable, he notices something is wrong with your incision drain and immediately fixes it. You’re kind of worried when you see Pippin is the nurse tech that night, but they actually work well together and Boromir doesn’t seem to mind even the fifth heart monitor malfunction of the night. By the end of the shift he’s cracked a few jokes and takes your vitals before he leaves so Pippin can avoid another altercation with the blood pressure machine.

Sam: The nutritionist that is responsible for the plate of waffle cut fries showing up to your room at 3 am the night after you’re cleared off the liquid diet. Because you need the calories and can’t sleep anyway. And when you were on the liquid diet, he wrote in a request on your behalf to only have cherry Jello sent after you mention that you don’t care much for orange or lime. He makes helpful suggestions but never pushes anything. (However, he does show up to chat with you in person after you didn’t order anything from the kitchen except cheese sticks and ice cream sandwiches for three meals in a row.)

Elrond: The surgeon with an odd, distant, but ultimately endearing bedside manner. He always severely over-estimates the recovery time for his patients. It’s only after reading the third night report that you were eating french fries and kicking a volleyball around the hall with Gandalf at three in the morning that he reluctantly discharges you.

Note: I was in a pediatric ward as a kid for like two months once, and on certain days they would indeed let us play volleyball in the hallway. I doubt anywhere allows adults to do this, but for this little fantasy, I couldn't resist. Thanks for reading!

[savagewildnerness]

Part IV

The Children of Darkness

Notes are a bit random on this and not well formulated, but in case anyone is interested… book version for page references is new UK Sphere publishing.

POTENTIAL EPISODE TITLES

The Devil’s Road

Symphony of Malice

Notes:

Lestat’s fighting spirit: how have we seen this manifest of the TV show so far?  How will we see it manifest in the future?

What is the connection between Lestat refusing to surrender and him always enduring?

Even in terror: Nicki prisoner and he and Gabrielle in danger, Lestat is still the *doer* - a being of action, who, at odds with his impulsive stereotype is immediately attempting to form some kind of plan.

Nicolas’ presence is often described as some form of “shimmer” – as if his mind is unreachable.

Lestat also describes himself “staring coldly” at Nicki – disassociating in order to be able to cope with the situation?

Lestat talks of his instincts here numerous times – he is drawn to Armand – to his beauty, his power and his allure, but his instinct tells him over and over again how dangerous Armand is and basically Lestat’s instinct says RUN.  Where is this instinct from?  Is it the instinct of The Hunter and Lestat knows the danger of Armand in the exact same way he knows the danger of The Wolves when in front of them?

“the astonishing innocence of his boyish face” (p216) how Assad is this description of Armand?

“as if the devil still retained the face and form of the angel after the fall” is so Memnoch coded!

Lestat is a very new vampire here and even as a mortal he was young!  Yet he is so brave.

Magnus, Allessandra and Armand are not a dissimilar age?  1400’s-ish?

The old queen (Alessandra) talks about dreaming of the mortal world above and its music and so on from her stone pillow in just the same way Lestat describes himself doing in modern day at the start of the book.

P221 “Nicolas looked like an animated corpse.” And I think, in many respects, already he is, sadly sadly sadly.  I love the description of him as “A child thrown among porcelain dolls.”

“The power of Satan will blast you into hell.”  “You keep saying that! And it keeps not happening as we can all see!”  Surely this will be on TV!

“Will any of them allow me to take Nicki alive from this place?” Yes as a reader you already feel how doomed Nicolas is by now.  How can Lestat not feel it too?

Anne loves the word “MALICE” and uses it a lot in this part (in relation to Nicki and to Armand)

P226 he Devil’s fiddler whom you worship from afar every night” – how much of Lestat’s thoughts has Armand actually eavesdropped upon?

I can imagine TV Armand saying “You, for whom the working of the dark trick is an act of shameless greed.  You gave it to the very womb that bore you!”

“that our immortal faces should be such masks for our true souls” I found interesting, as you’d often say a human’s face reflects their soul.  But of course a vampire’s face does not change with time.

P227 – Armand’s quote “Tell me why!” surely will be on the show?

“He knows no limit and so he has no limit” is essentially “Only the impossible can do the impossible”!

Is Lestat’s rage (p227) transference (he feels Armand’s rage) or his own range towards Armand and about Nicolas?

“Ah sad lost child, roaming catacombs beneath a great city and an incomprehensible century.” – Does this description reflect show-Armand’s nature/essence?

I REALLY HOPE Lestat says “I never lie.  At least not to those I don’t love.”

“I am that new evil.  I am the vampire for these times” will surely be on TV?

Nicolas, no matter how on the verge of death he seems is listening to every word when they’re in this place, as he later brings up “The canker In the heart of the rose” that Lestat calls himself.  So what does Nicolas make of it all, listening as a human who has just been tortured by these beasts… who thinks Lestat didn’t love him enough to turn him.  And who knows what the vampires said to Nicki.  They can see his thoughts, so beyond the physical torture, the power they will have had in his mind to potentially reinforce and solidify all of Nicolas’ deepest fears…  Nicki moans at the canker in the heart phrase.

“There is no romance in what you are.  There is great romance in what I am.” I feel this is deeply the essence of Lestat, to be remembered in all he does.  Lestat despises lack of Romance!

“She receded from me as if she were an image in a sailor’s glass.” What a gorgeous metaphor!

Magnus appears to have brought death to MANY mortals quite fine!  So what exactly is Alessandra saying here? I do think Lestat hasn’t fully understood her when he talks of loving mortals already and maybe he is in part horrified by the implications of immortality?  I also wonder what Nicolas, the only human listening here makes of Alessandra’s summation of immortality?

P233 Lestat asks if Magnus loved mortals the way boys love butterflies as they rip of their wings – it’s a thing Armand is often accused of by others.

Orpheus allegory re-Lestat and Nicki p234

P234 The way Lestat describes Nicolas’ experience of being locked up so closely to his own… and Lestat will now do unto Nicki as was done unto him by Magnus.  This is A Lot for them both… because Nicki has fully seen what these beasts are from the way they tortured him… and Lestat is now both beast, lover and lover who (Nicki thinks) didn’t love him enough…?

P235 “Do not do this thing” is italicised.  Lestat cannot hear Gabrielle’s thoughts.  So does she even say this, or does Lestat just imagine it or know she would say it?

I love the mix of love and death and desire in Nicolas’ turning.  It’s a weird combination of the most carnal of all the turnings and yet the only emotion aside from this pure satiation of lust and need is the entire existential dread of existence itself!  That interspersed with such human memory of love and human experiences that are lost forever now, for them both.  Lestat is clearly aroused by turning Nicolas and he seems to kind of shut off his reason/human love and let his desire take over?  It’s a strange mix of desire (what Lestat always wanted), domination (the power Lestat has over Nicki – reflecting somehow that his class meant he always had some kind of power over Nicki) and what Lestat knows himself is a disaster I think even as he does it.

What a quote – “philosophy straining to contain the ghastly images, the torture, to surround it with language…”

Nicki raves about The Witches place on p236 just as Lestat did when he had just been turned on p97

It’s interesting how Lestat acknowledges here that Nicolas cannot truly know what he is asking for in pleading for The Dark Gift and acknowledges how awful it is the power he has over Nicolas.  It’s one of the things I love about this book in particular – no matter what Lestat does, his internal moral compass is incredibly self-aware and correct.

P238 & p266 – Lestat tells Nicki he has misunderstood everything here and Nicolas says very similar in their last argument on p266

For anyone thinking Nicki only hated Lestat by this time – p 239 “Unspoken words coming from him of love.”  Nicolas loves Lestat even now, no matter what he’ll later say.  Lestat sees it in his mind while Nicki is here still mortal.

I feel as though Nickistat represents to Lestat for eternity that tantalizing prospect of what a mortal life might have been.  Lestat was only on the cusp of manhood when he was turned.  What might it have been to be two artists, in love – growing old together, loving and dying.  Well, it would have been awful Lestat – but because you can never access it, it remains eternally an ideal and unreachable vision – that glimmer of a possible mortal life and love with Nicolas.  The last vestige of the idea ever having any reality to it dies along with Nicolas in this section.  Perhaps while Nicki is still human, Lestat is still connected to his own humanity in a way that once Nicki is turned Lestat isn’t ever again, as there is nobody who loved him as his human self who is also still human left alive…?

In Nicolas’ turning, Lestat slits his own throat rather than his wrist to make Nicki a vampire – it is carnal, sexual and indicative of death as well.  On TV there could be some visual parallel possibly between how Lestat creates Nicki and how Louis killed Lestat?

The slant of the colourless landscape in Nicolas’ mind reminded me of the slant of the floor in S2E5

P243 To see Nicki change had been to see him die.  Why do we usually see most humans cope fine with turning and their transition into a vampire in the books?  If it really is so random as Armand says…?  That said, Nicolas was utterly broken before he was turned, so!

P258 – Nicolas keeps his and Lestat’s dressing room as a shrine to Lestat – even a half-drunk bottle of wine left untouched.  If that does not speak of the depth of his love for Lestat and of his pain at his loss, what does?

Lestat finds Nicki’s violin not where he lives, but at Renauds.  Nicolas left Renauds never to return after Lestat’s on-stage breakdown where he saw Lestat shot but not die.  Not only had Nicki given up studying violin – he never played the violin again after that day, until he became a vampire.  Imagine what his experience must have been.  Friendless as all the actors from Renaud’s have gone abroad.  Not even a violin for solace.  Thinking he is unloved.  Nicolas must have felt his own descent into death.

Lestat worries whether vampire Nicki feels anything at all anymore p256

What does Nicki feel about playing The Devil’s instrument?  Especially when he has not played it for so long…

What does it mean that Anne introduced characters as villains (e.g. Armand, but Lestat too) then she and we grow to love them….

P260 quote – why exactly can’t Lestat stand Nicki’s music now seeing as he describes it still as very expressive.  How does it feel to Nicolas that he now has all of the technical and emotional skill he always wished for on the violin and can do with it as he will, and Lestat just calls it ‘petty’ – another punch to the heart to tell him Lestat never loved him? 

Lestat and Nicki loved each other as humans and despise each other as vampires as much.

Lestat compares Nicki to his whinnying and dying mare numerous times – poignant allegory

The sorrow that Lestat and Nicolas’ last fight is in Renauds – a place they were truly happy

Sam is gonna act his socks off in expressing the meaning behind the loss of Renuads and the perversion of it into something vampiric, when it was Lestat’s whole world of artistic expression as a mortal and an emblem too of his and Nicki’s love and start of life.

The Witching Hour again on p247!  Anne uses it so often!

Armand consuming Nicki’s abode, like an insect-demon and he instantly lets Lestat know he knows about Nicki being made (nonverbally)

I love the juxtaposition of opposites in Armand - Devil versus innocence etc… and for Lestat - danger versus allure

When Armand attacks Lestat with the way nobody has ever cared to teach him anything (p250) it is The Cruelest.  That he steals this from Lestat’s mind is even crueller… and I love it.  Please make the TV show…!

As a lover of sunrises and sunsets, may I say, I love how Anne describes skies!

Armand trying to get Lestat to kill Gabrielle and Nicki is utterly horrific.  I hope that’s on TV!

The way Lestat says “Exactly!” When Gabrielle is saying they need to get Armand’s knowledge even though she cares less about it than the meaning of leaves and stars etc. even though Lestat absolutely doesn’t mean exactly, as Gabrielle’s pondering are alien to his own humanistic mindscape!

Nicolas’ shrine to Lestat in Renaud’s.  HE LOVED LESTAT.  I will say it over and over!  (This is not saying they were meant for each other.  I LOVE TOO that Nicki is DEAD!)

I love how Anne even makes the traditional comedy and tragedy theatre emblem into a poetically poignant image

Even though Lestat and Nicki despise each other’s vampire-selves, there’s such sensuality still between them.  When Lestat gives Nicolas his violin, Nicki leans his head against Lestat.  When Nicki says “The Devil’s Instrument”, he looks into Lestat’s eyes for the fist time, and he’s trembling.  This is the first time he has played violin since Lestat’s theatre breakdown!

The music Nicolas plays, Lestat tells Nicki it is petty.  However, he describes this too as sensual and full of emotion.  The violin tells a tale.  The emotion bends and twists Nicki.  It is a lamentation and it seems to perfectly express Nicolas’ inner world.  Why does Lestat call it petty?  Because Nicolas can mock humanity with his music now?  It certainly isn’t because it lacks emotion.  I think Lestat fears how inhuman he is as a vampire, and he hears confirmation of it in Nicki’s music now.  But that doesn’t mean Nicolas’ art is bad or petty or lesser.  Of course, Nicki’s art is *more* now in most respects as now he is technically perfect.  I’m reminded of how this week I told someone (who was asking technical aspect of piano playing of me and I am NOT technical on piano!!!) That violin is my first instrument and their response was - “Like Paganini! Like Stephan Grappellli!”  And like… No…. Not like genius violinists!  Like a rubbish violinist!  Obviously, I know them… but it is odd to me that you namecheck them to me.  Because.  NO.  NOT like them!  Anyway, I digress….

To Nicolas, Lestat calling his vampire-art petty must feel horrendous - like a physical slap.  He envied the ease of Lestat’s success as a mortal, but never begrudged him it.  Now, Nicolas has all the technical skill he desired and Lestat calls his creativity PETTY.  What an insult & a DISMISSAL!  Cruel as Nicki’s words are to Lestat.   (I really wanted to read from Nicki’s perspective this time.  We are literally in Lestat’s mind this entire book, but he is not the only being who feels pain.)

P264 versus p230 - Nicki remembers Lestat’s “canker in the heart of a rose” comment from when he was mortal, near death, tortured by Armand and his coven.  He remembers all these beasts said to each other that night.  What a horrific true first introduction to what happened to Lestat - these monsters torture him, drink his blood, tell him goodness knows what horrendous things about Satan and how evil and Satanic Lestat is… Then Lestat is one of them….

All Lestat wanted as a mortal was to be good and to carve a grove in The Savage Garden.  But now, he uses that as an insult to Nicki.

And I’ve said it many times, but I do not believe Nicki went to Paris, hoping for he and Lestat to fail.  I believe there is truth in it, in the nihilistic way we can all believe “Wouldn’t it be funny if there was an apocalypse in 5 minutes and we were all DEAD.” (Just me?  Well, ME, anyway..) and we all have these dark thoughts… I definitely believe these were thoughts Nicolas had.  But I do not believe he desired it… at least not for Lestat.  I think of it more as a depressive thing - if it fails - YAY, I always knew it would.  And he DID love Lestat.  And he did need his light.  But now he doesn’t.  Now he is A Dark Thing: the summation of his worst fears he no longer needs Lestat and what’s more I think it’s why Lestat cannot stand him - he is now the embodiment of what Lestat fears *he* might be as a vampire: an entirely inhuman creature.  But Lestat is never that.  However, Lestat created vampire-Nicki and the inhuman thing he is.

“It’s all a misunderstanding, my love” Nicki says to Lestat on p266 in their final argument.  Almost exactly what Lestat says to Nicki p238 “You have misunderstood everything” before Nicki is turned.  The sorrow in this echo/twist/reiteration.

I am not sure about it, but I wonder whether part of why Nicki is SO cruel to Lestat at the end is as he NEEDS Lestat to leave him and he knows that no matter how Lestat despises him, he won’t abandon him.  Yet, Nicki probably knows DEATH awaits him not too far away now.  And he likely knows, were Lestat to stay, he could drag Lestat to his death as well.  So, maybe he is freeing Lestat, in a way?

But although Lestat and Nicolas despise each other, they love each other too.  The opposite of love is indifference.

[moxielynx]

So as I know little to nothing about Epic The Musical(only listening to snippets of like, 4 to 5 songs-) I really wanna know more about it and the AU you made with it and Tetrax-

Oh my god it’s happening it’s happening it’s finally happening

everything is under the keep reading cause this is going to be a LOOONNG post

OKOK SO basically the epic au follows the musical almost exactly, story wise, with some kinda major changes

I wrote about it all on my priv twitter then transferred everything over to a txt document so excuse the fact that it’s formatted as a twitter thread cause it literally came from one!!!!

Also I made a couple of changes ever since the Circes Saga was released and there will continue to be changes until the musical is fully completed so I will list all the changes after this

SO CHANGES!!!!!!

1. Ares has a name now, it’s Orion!!

2. I’ve decided that all the gods are just gonna be named after the actual gods they’re supposed to represent, I can’t be bothered to come up with a bunch of new names for them

3. In the "Circes Saga" part Circes, instead of threatening tetrax to never return she helps him get to the underworld, having a new respect for him cause not only was he able to resist her power but also he tries to show as much respect to her as possible by kneeling and begging for his crew to be set free instead of resorting to trying to kill her

4. Tetrax meets Clockwork directly instead of having a dream with him in it since Circes helps him go to the underworld

HERE ARE SOME OF THE DESIGNS!!! The first 3 are Aeolus, Circes and Hermes and the other one is just concepts for the others, the designs are all subject to change

ive also started an animatic for one of the god games songs!!!! its still only a ""storyboard"" so stuff is messy+needs to be adjusted/added but heres what it looks like atm!!! i used this animatic to practice drawing azmuth and orion since i hadnt drawn them at all prior to making this, i hope that i can finish this by making a cleaned up version

i hope i can make animatics on at least "The Horse and the Infant", "Just a Man", and "Done For" in the future

i genuinely dont think ive ever put this much time, thought and effort into an au, tetrax makes me so happy and these songs makes me so happy too, tysm for asking about the au i love love loooovvvee talking about it

playlist of all released songs !!!!! playlist of all the unreleased/unfinished songs!!! (that i talk about here in this post, theres a BUNCH of other unfinished songs yall should check out as well)

extra art of it :3

[kibblemode]

Give me some fun facts about tix please there was a point in time inwas kind of obsessed with him and had a folder in my phone of him

HELPPPP thats really good. right away micah🫡

tixs backstory (regarding how he came to be anyway) is intentionally left vague and untouched on bc 1. idfk. 2. its funny and 3. i want to leave it up to interpretation tbh. but at the same time it is canon that hes like at least a billion years old. much much older than his own mom which is silly but WHAT EVER.

this might not end up being final but i like to think the scar over his eye was from grem but probably by accident....idk tho...

speaking of when he shapeshifts into something/someone he keeps his freckles and the scar. bc i like it and i think getting rid of physical traits like that would be pretty hard. also the freckles are actually a recent change i drew eugene with freckles once and thought tix would look cute with them too and i was RIGHT

i dont think ive ever actually told anyone besides art what actually Happened to tixs wife...her name is risa basically they met pretty recently after tix broke up with grem and she died during complications after having tiabi ÷( so now anything having to do with that kind of stuff scares him...so u can imagine daffodil being born would make him lose his shit lol.

these pic is THE most on model pic of him ive drawn. he looks like this.

btw rare EARLY early gq art who the hell is this get him away from meholy fuck this pic is huge sorry

iirc hes one first of the post-gq reboot characters i made, meaning i actually made him in i think 8th or 9th grade just like lenarr + zach as opposed to 7th grade when i made the villains...this was back when gq was in rpg format he was supposed to be a tutorial character i think. also yes okay he was very heavily based on bill cipher bc i LOVED gravity falls at the time. it was that and some random pic on deviantart i couldbt find if i tried. also im gonna be real the concept of his little pocket dimension he uses as a substitute for internal organs is based on something i made up for something else fandom related thats so batshit insane im taking it to my grave

tix was supposed to die in the original cartoon version of gq....tbf he Did come back later but still. he no longer dies bc that plotpoint makes absolutely no sense now LOL

hes actually quite a good artist....see

personality wise hes literally just if dan from dan vs was an australian (oddly capable) single father with crazy powers. thats literally him. also hes not very emotionally mature in most situations BUT around tiabi hes literally a whole different person. to be a good role model i suppose

also this isnt lore related but its really really funny. one time a few years back someone on twitter gifted me voice acting for a pic of my ocs i drew (i dont have it anymore but trust me) and they gave tix a brooklyn accent. i STILL think that is fucking hilarious i drew this directly after. i can still hear him saying JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MY ASS in the brooklyn accent and it makes me laugh whoever voiced that is my hero

btw did u know he cant taste things until After hes eaten them already. even then he can choose whether or not he even Wants to lol. also doesnt need to eat/drink/sleep but Can still feel ill effects of not doing those things sometimes just bc he was probably conditioned to

also he secretly is big into botany and collecting rare plants....probably bc his wife was a botanist...uu..

tix has most likely Met melody just bc of his status but doesnt actually like Know her as a person. this is a pretty big issue in the mothers day episode i have for s3/4ish

anddd jsyk his favorite band is ABBA. favorite song is voulez-vous

i cant think of much else but i like tix hes been the fan favorite for a really long time...also my first oc to have a kinnie iirc (i dont talk to them anymore BUT it did happen) hes literally my mary sue tumblr sexyman oc and its awesome

bomus pic from art. i could fill a book with all the fucked up tix pics hes drawn

[squeakheart]

talking abt doc's gender swap attack... ik its not that deep and oda just wanted to draw ppl growing tits but whatever! doc q genderposting UTC

-

doc's powers kinda hold a lotta my bbp gender hcs together so like... untangling what he can and can't do... i think he has limitations (especially since one piece already has ivankov's power to instantly permanently transition ppl)

we know his attacks wear off (or can be cancelled out with willpower) so if u wanna keep the changes you'd hafta go back to him for a top-up

he's illness themed & his attack worked like a transmissible virus so thats something to keep in mind logistically ... but the optics of it are a bit "chemicals in the water to turn the frogs trans" so like... i wanna be kinda careful with it yk...

in my hcs i think its still transmissible but closer to the irl "if your partner is on tgel and you touch them you might absorb some" thing than like "if you cough everyone in the room suddenly transitions"

i dont think he can "swap" genitals even tho that kinda felt implied in canon... prob just size changes and erectile function changes

he objectively sucks as a doctor (and as a person) so i think hes not very good at balancing ppls hormones .. inconsistent ass levels compared to what other (normal) one piece doctors could give u

weird side effects likely since like. its doc q

he can probably diy some regular hrt (premarin at least .. hes literally a horse guy) but he would prefer doing it w his powers

basically his attack functions more like real-world HRT than a magical gender-swap button in my hcs

the bbps i hc as trans are augur (trans girl) laffitte (transfem nonbinary) shot, burgess and kuzan (trans guys) and he manages their hormones for them ... he was extremely chasery in canon with the femlaw thing and unforch i cant imagine him being less of one for his crewmates erm ... they all have fucked moral compasses so a lot of them probably arent bothered (shot especially wouldnt give a shit) but i think kuzan might be uncomf since hes used to having access to more professional/less pervy doctors :p i also go back and forth on whether laffitte would medically transition at all? burgess is definately roiding as well as regularly transitioning. basically i think he does a servicable job managing the crew’s transitions while still being who he is & with them all being who they are

as for doc's own gender .. i think he tested that shit out on himself for sure (both bc i think he has to be patient zero for his power to work and bc he would just want to) ... i don't neccesarily think hes trans but i do think hes very open to temporary experimenting .. again kinda goes back to the extreme chaser energy

wrt bebe - this part is straight up sooooooo personal!!! but if youve read my fics you alr know the situation with him getting super weird and fetishistic about her body. ive written him saying a lot of stuff that would be kind of inexcusable for a real person to say to me (perisex ppl dni with any of my doc q is weird about intersex ppl hcs fr. 🔫 its on sight) but ig im kinda working thru negative feelings about my own body by making my fictional guy super enamoured with it OTL anyway fetishism aside he is helping her balance her hormones and achieve some changes she wants while also encouraging her to not hide features that she shouldnt have to be ashamed of ... the rat whiskers thing is a facial hair analogy & in my canon hes a lot of the reason she lets them grow out after the timeskip. the boobs she gets after the timeskip are also his work (i think ive drawn/posted this before) .. thats about all i'll say rn im getting embarrassed tbh

[tauforged]

#1: I love finding someone with a unique/rare ship or headcannon.

#2: the interaction with Sigma and Sombra, where Sigma is saying Moira is going to run some tests on him, how do you think Ramattra would respond to hearing that?

#3 do they have any nick names for each other?

AW TEEHEE THANKYOU!!! its been a while since ive had the motivation to like, draw or write anything for em but rest assured im thinking about them so so so much... youve activated my autism trap card though i have an INSANE amount of convoluted opinions on the nature of character dynamics between sigma and sombra as well as sigma and moira and im taking this opportunity to babble about it. sorry in advance.

as for the interaction, personally im of the opinion that said 'tests' are literallly.... just tests. as in like, yknow, bloodwork, scans to make sure the implants and augments he has are actually working to redirect excess pressure and kinetic energy from his vital organs when using his abilities ... ive talked about how i think that sorta stuff works more in this post but tldr is that a lot of the tech and equipment hes using is of his own design and VERY experimental, hes pretty much flying blind here so he kind of has to make changes as he goes and so it's kinda important that his health and safety are taken into account. and he also has a bit of a uhhh. demonstrable history of disregarding his own safety for the sake of his research. it would kind of make sense that theyd be going out of their way to make sure someone stays on him about actually doing the damn tests and keeping track of the results. it just so happens that he's really averse to letting just anyone Examine (tm) him because of. yknow. the everything. and moira happens to fit the bill of being A. someone he feels he can trust to not take things too far (whether or not he's making a good choice here is up for debate, but i think he could do worse) and B. actually have a degree of knowing what she's doing. i definitely think that the only reason she's bothering at least initially is her own curiosity about everything he's got going on, but he also does just really feel like the type to jsut kind of naturally be very endearing . ive said before that a lot of their interactions read as playful to me, at least on his end - he DEFINITELY sounds like he's messing with her on purpose. i think he does genuinely regard her as a friend, and for the most part, he's probably right - even if she's a bit cranky about it. i have a LOT of thoughts about their relationship too honestly probably far too many to cram into this one post LMFAO i think about the dynamic a lot. im a moira apologist idc i think that she is capable of being nice sometimes. just because shes kind of a cunt sometimes doesnt mean shes needlessly cruel, like not only do i feel like messing with his head and experimenting on him given his history would be kinda kicking him while he's down. but ALSO, i feel like she's smart enough to know that making him an enemy would be a baaaad idea. he can literally explode people with his mind. she knows better than to give him any reason to be genuinely mad at her, and i do think he would absolutely NOT tolerate any kind of treatment like that ever again unless it was on his terms and he had the power to just leave if it got to be too much. even as it is, i think the entire process is a bit of a sore spot for him and not exactly something he's thrilled about, hence his hesitation in that interaction - not because it's happening against his will so much as he's regarding it the same way i think about having to go get blood drawn. it's not fun, but it's gotta happen somehow.

all that to say, i think upon overhearing discussion of said 'tests' without further context mattra would NOT be happy about it, likely getting defensive the same way sombra does. he'd probably be a lot harder to dissuade than she is tbh, i dont know if he'd really take moira's word for it that there's nothing underhanded going on here unless sig told him so himself, and even then it would still put his hackles up. he's probably very nosy about it for a very long time. just to be safe.

as far as nicknames/pet names go, in my mind theyre both very... awkward about these kinda things i guess if that makes sense? emotional vulnerability comes easily for NEITHER of them, between sig still recovering from decades of isolation and mattra just naturally being very guarded and bitter (for good reason!) and not used to outwardly expressing his care for others, especially not for some random human who seems to have decided that they're friends. to me, their dynamic is very much one of tentativeness and battling with distrust and insecurity. i think it would take a very, very long time to get there, and even longer to actually be able to casually say stuff like that without wanting to explode and die on the spot. i do think sig is a bit more outwardly affectionate than mattra, but even then, a lot of it is kinda tempered by the fact that he's just very forward with everyone about everything at this point - he's kind of desperate for positive connections with others that he can hold onto, so he's reached a point where it doesn't take much to get him to consider someone a friend and he's not exactly hiding it anymore. oh, i dropped something and you picked it up before i had a chance to? sick, we are now besties and i would kill for you.

i think that sort of attitude would catch ramattra off guard and he'd not really know how to react to any of it. sig could call him anything at this point, but if it's in an affectionate tone he WILL bluescreen about it. ramattra.exe has encountered an error and must restart

i do really like sig's valentines voiceline, so i might just roll with 'starlight' even if it's a bit cheesy... hell, now that i think about it, i think he'd do that specifically BECAUSE it's cheesy and will probably elicit an eye-roll or a 'stop that'. he seems to enjoy pushing people's buttons. maybe bothering his friends is his love language idk

[yuukei-yikes]

kind of a specific random question but do you think theres a possibility that shintaros the first one to try and stop being so attached to takane. like one day takane is all haha hey do you need me for anything then shin goes well uhhh- actually no its okay. takane goes what no you arent let me help you with something COME ON

ive drawn this before. so yes i do (from here)

YA i totally think it's like this AT FIRST. takane is totally shamelessly clinging to shintaro and shintaro's like GET. OFF. MEEEE!!!!! and takane's in his room like carpet she's a fucking parasite roach infestation of 1.

like immediate post str i picture this bitch just sleeping over every single day stealing all his clothes and shintaro's like COME ON. i love how in the novels shintaro dresses in front of ene and no one gives a shit in fact ene is like YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME UR SUCH A MAN'S MAN like. when takane has her body back shintaro's like at least get out WHILE I GET DRESSED!! and takane's totally unbothered like whaaaa im not even looking and u never seemed to care to dress in front of me as ene whatever dude. shintaro seething. he's like this sucks she's right ive been getting dressed in front of her the whole time. also takane changes his nasty bed sheets bc she also sleeps in his bed. literally existing symbiotically. srry they're so close and have no privacy i need u to understand.

shintaro acts incredibly grumpy about it and is actively kicking her out daily but takane never seems to get mad at all and if anything she's just pathetically begging him to stayyyy pleaseeeeee u must need me for SOMETHINGGGGGG and shintaro. while yes he is like NO GET OUT also come on. he's so weak if someone especially someone girl coded flutters their eyelashes at him he immediately just goes YEAH ALRIGHT...haruka ayano or takane can all just flutter their eyelashes and shintaro will do anything they say its hilarious.

we've seen ene do this and while shintaro manages to stay strong i think post str he's very weak to takane because he's so guilty over route xxx so sometimes he just gives her whatever she wants out of guilt. like retaining is shintaro's big demise if it wasn't for it maybe he would've been able to just set his foot down and force takane to grow out of her unhealthy attachment.

but noooo... he starts enabling/reciprocating her behavior LOL!!!! like it's indeed takane the one to start the dynamic. she's always been the most attached of the 2. but shintaro is so guilty over the bad route and realises she's always been here even in all other routes. by just saying ugh yes whatever at everything she says he is accidentally becoming part of the unhealthy attachment. i think at first while he WAS attached it wasn't to the point takane drives it. and since she was shameless and pathetic abt it like not hiding it at all that's why he's unconscious it goes both ways bc he's like well ive been acting all grumpy abt it obviously its not me its her!!! but he doesn't realise that as time went on he started liking the dynamic bc its comfy LOL and takane is good company and they love each other ok. hold me im gonna pass out.

this is so early on post str. while takane still struggles with stopping resorting to opening eyes whenever anything gets uncomfortable and while shintaro is still sort of processing all timelines and how he feels about them and stuff. u know me i love flipping dynamics thats why eventually its shintaro following takane while she's like ermmm erm ermmm bc she's been healing while shintaro's been going downhill.

ALSO i think shintaro's mom "knew" of ene. like SHE DOESNT but shintaro was constantly talking to himself in his room so she asks if he's calling with anyone?? shintaro's like ERM...ERMM... YEAH... ITS AN ONLINE FRIEND.... so shintaro's mom is like omg this is THAT friend who was with him while he was all depressed in his room!!! so ratio + shintaro's mom loves takane and since she's always staying over keeps asking if they're dating and is very confused that they say no and neither is EVER flustered they're just like no we aren't 😐 also if shinaya are dating and kisaragi mom knows she probably talks to shintaro like Hey isnt this weird u have a gf and u seem to spend most of ur time with someone else. and shintaro's like UGHHHHH STOPPP ANNOYING MEEE!!! and like momo, kisaragi mom is also sorta scared of approaching shintaro in fear of scaring him away now that he's out and about. so she's like erm okay (still watches from afar)

sorry for going crazy abt shintaro & takane again. they drive me so crazies. they love each other ur honor and its so fucked up

[obscure-entity]

i love the change in the way you've drawn snaps/entity/in general over the years. if you go back really far into the blog you can see the clear differences in shapes and lines used, and you can see a very clear steady upward trajectory in skill/improvement. its really cool and rather inspiring! im not too confident in my art, but knowing that If I Keep Going On I'll Get Better is very motivating. anyway i love your art but im sure you know that!

yea :') ive been feeling better abt having my old art up over the years because like. i still made that!. having it up does feel like a vulnerable spot but it doesnt really help to shame myself forever

i do want to thank you for recognizing it specifically in snaps and entity because i was trying so so so hard to sculpt like the personality i saw in them but i didnt have the "skill" or experimentation to do it yet. (it made me cry a few times years ago) ive mostly left their ACTUAL designs unchanged but it was a lot of shape/expressive lines that i was trying so hard to place . especially snaps. he is like a whole person i am retrying to convey over and over every time i draw him. i do feel like i finally nailed some of the subtleties his design has though

it does help to experiment a lot or have a goal in mind ^.^ try to get the expression out of your system . without beating yourself up for it of course. like if you know youre working toward at least SOMETHING youll probably find a way to reach it i think. its iteration

[creation-help]

the first two are clementine pre n post wither storm n the third is an oc ive just been calling [DATA EXPUNGED]

theyre both pokemon ocs, w clem specifically being a mash up of being a minecraft storymode oc and a pokemon oc

[DATA EXPUNGED] is the Champion of Arceus n is v ? theatrical ? fancy ? either way he speaks like its the early 1800s, i also dont have much of a backstory for him since i created him like, 4 days ago n im VERY slow at giving ocs backstories

clementine on the other hand ive been making a backstory for several months so i have a lot to say but i wont so to sum up her backstory (in a way thats prolly shit ngl) its:

clem n her (still unnamed n undeveloped) friends go to a con, they win, they go to a post con festival, clem meets some guy, the same guy clem meets makes the wither storm, she defeats it but is v traumatized from it, she becomes a mayor of a town at some point but she ends up running away from kalos to kanto

[Is not familiar with the Pokémon storylines you're talking about and thus has nothing to comment on it, so apologies if that is relevant to the review]

I'm assuming [DATA EXPUNGED] isn't, at least in the current state of things, related to Clementines story at all?

I'll tackle [DATA EXPUNGED] first!

Very solid color scheme, I think the dark skin tone fits perfectly with black white and gold, especially since the shirt (top?) is white. The accessories and face patterns really give off a fancy, perhaps priest like aesthetic and it makes the whole collective come across as very distinguished. Supernatural too, considering the one white eye and again, face patterns, although it leaves some ambiguity since this could also just be a very fancy cultural getup. I have to say though, I'd probably have made the roses some other color: though the black is strong and very cool, you can't really see them from the black hair and thus it sorta muddies the effect and makes it look more like the character is wearing some headgarment rather than a rose crown. Unfortunately, since this is a picrew, i can't say much for more core aspects of the design like the shape of the face, eyes and nose, which I consider very essential aspects of designing human characters. This is no fault of yours, as I said, picrews can be limiting in this aspect.

Judging by the art style though I'm going to guess this character is meant to have a strong angular face and jawline with a straight, square nose. Strong but elegant brows, I assume? The beauty mark on his jaw though is a very nice touch! Gives some uniqueness and personality to the otherwise very conformed, untouched image the character has.

The character strikes me as a very learned, wise personality who knows things beyond this world, and I can definitely see that he'd speak more theatrically, like a preacher or professor (the book and quill help this).

If the character ever ends up drawn by free hand, here's things I'd suggest adjusting or adding to [DATA EXPUNGED]: Facial traits. I think a strong nose with a bit of a greek shape would do wonders for a theatrical, regal looking character like him, and if the angular jawline is intended, keep that!! Depending on age (or how dramatic you want him to look), I'd also suggest more visible cheekbones perhaps? Strong brows and serious eyes would contribute to this vibe but depending on of course where you take this character, you can change things to suit that! For what I'm suggesting here, the character feels like a sort of apocalypse preacher person who is more interested in studies and has a tendency to push people away. However you could also easily go a softer route with him as well but I think, if you do, I'd still keep the angular dramatic facial features. The rest of my suggestions would just be to add maybe the smallest bit more decoration or jewelry, maybe something with a more personal touch? Earrings, rings, ect. I feel like he'd be the type to carry around some very sentimental piece of jewelry or other item, something he holds in great value. He doesn't seem like he'd pretty up just for appearance sake. Also I feel like sideburns or some stray hair whispies would add a fun little touch that could divert from the more serious groomed image the character gives, just something to create uniqueness in general. Doesn't have to be those exact things I suggested.

Then Clementine!

Design is simple but functional. Personally I think she could also use a bit more to make her less generic ykno? To be fair this could also be a fault of whatever you used to make these images (not sure if that's a picrew or some other dollmaker thing). I like the amount of change you have between the before and after states, especially liking the touch of her expression changing, even though its not related to design here lol. The first one with the simple, a bit girlish and old timey dress works well with the half up hairstyle and simplistic outfit to establish a younger character who's out to see the world. The two things diverting from this image are the sword and maybe(?) her being barefoot. The sword evokes imagery of either someone who seems more innocent or naive but turns out to also have sharp, honed skills. OR a strapping enthusiast who is looking for adventure and her place in the world, with only the clothes on her back and this sword she found (lighthearted tone). The barefoot aspect also gives a bit of a rural vibe, of being more in touch with nature. Which is something the After™ version contrasts, with a more modern feeling outfit, and the loss of the sword.

I really like her having a longer hairstyle in the latter one, with the braids/dreads. Hairstyle changes are a great way to communicate something in a character so it fits! It feels more subdued mature while still keeping a bit of that openness and freedom, with the dreads hanging freely, and hey, still being in a half up style! Good one!

I'd suggest maybe adding more signs of experience or wear on the latter version, just to communicate her having gone through something major, even traumatic. Scars or something like more visible eyebags, or something to show a more scuffed up appearance ykno? You could also make her more stocky and built, or maybe a bit chubbier in the latter, bc to me it feels like a slightly older version of the character and so, getting more built feels appropriate for that.

Overall just add more simple, small touches to communicate personality more. I think the latter one is good at that but the first one feels more generic. If it's meant to be simple though, I understand! But still. Doesn't have to be anything major, could just be things like small accessories or things she's personalized for herself. Maybe In the first version she could have a little patched up clothing to show her outdoorsy lifestyle? If not, you could add something else, just a suggestion.

From a purely visual standpoint, [DATA EXPUNGED]'s design is lots more interesting and distinct looking, and I'd only really adjust the person under the clothing and accessories. For Clementine, I feel that she could use to stand out just a tad more. However I hugely appreciate them both being poc and also having natural hairstyles (both having dreads at some point) to it! Definitely helps make them more diverse, which is always a design plus!

[banana-breadses]

holy shit your object show as a whole sounds so interesting if you woulnd't mind i want to hear more

okie lets go! (long ramble ahead)

My show is called Roll Credits!

plot wise its just your standard object show with challenges eliminations and a huge plot thing later in the season! the characters is where it gets fun ;-)

here are the first drawings of most of the characters. its not the best, but they're all here! lets go in order:

Water Bottle(she/her): Athletic! likes sports and excersise. complete opposite of Towel.

Towel(she/her): Lazy! likes television and sleeping. complete opposite of Water Bottle.

Textbook(he/him): Smart! is a green book! i have since updated his design, and added glasses and some blocks of text on his cover. also BAD AT TALKING

Rubik's Cube(he/him): Organized! basically my younger brother's self insert. dont know much about him but hey he seems cool.

Sugar Cookie(she/her): My girl! love her! first character of them all,an oc before i wanted to make a show. Ive talked all about her before, and I love her <3

Snowflake(he/him): honestly he's the one ive thought the least about. cool guy, really chill(pun intended)

Drum(they/them): Likes music i guess. I love them but all conversations end up in an argument because of the ~transphobic family~

Bowl(he/they/it): Cool guy. also a god. this was drawn before he was a god. doesn't talk i also have an original drawing for God Bowl that i dont really like anymore but if you wanna see it... (more lore to come!)

Bill(he/him): Rich! Bowl's best friend, and talks a lot. makes up for Bowl's silence.

Sunglasses(both he/him): the hosts! individually their names are Sun and Glass. Sun is excitable and energetic, and Glass is a cool guy.

Measuring Tape(she/they): Mom friend? i think? no matter what I am in love with their shape!!! she's so cute!!1

Glow Stick(she/her): rowdy teenager! likes to party and have fun. Her emotions do get really big(like me!) and she changes mood really intensely really quickly.

Flashlight(she/her): Cute girl! love her! she's the youngest of the group. kind to everyone, knows everyone, but doesn't have any real friends. Until now! with compassion she and Glow Stick become good friends :)

Speaker(he/him): didn't have a personality, but now he still doesn't! yknow how Rob in TAWOG forces his way from a background character to the villain? Speaker's kinda like that. doesn't have a personality, but hacks into the settings of the show to give himself one.

Pinecone(he/him):!!!!! the angry one!!!! used to be a criminal. he has been cloned!! and he doesn't really know it. as far as Pinecone knows, he got hit with a sciencey beam and thats it.

Marble(he/him):uuuuhh a last minute addition. dont know much about him. :/

Key(he/him): very calm. Kinda like Candle II. his eyes are always closed because when he opens them theyre so shiny it would blind everyone. why? you'l never know(unless you ask him(he polishes them(with bleach)))

Twig(she/her): TWIG!!!! Love her!!! very soft spoken and loves her leaf. doesn't understand people all the time, but she tries :o)

Mushroom(she/her): the mediator. Likes gardening, and tries to keep her alliance from falling apart.

those are all the main characters! there are a few side characters like the mafia, their parents, and the gods.

okie the mafia:

Coney(he/any): Pinecone's clone. wants to distance themself from him a lot, so he became a criminal! leads a band of friends despicable objects.

Poinsettia(she/her): tries to stay calm. Tall. super cool

Butter Knife(they/them): anxious to all tomorrows. i have never seen them not anxious.

Tie(he/she): chaotic. has maybe killed someone for real......? she wont tell.

honestly the mafia is just Team Rocket level evil, but Coney honestly tries to be bad.

their parents are just a few things ive thought about. Sugar Cookie's parents are Chocolate Chip Cookie and Cake, Rubik's cube's parents are Puzzle and Paint Pallet, and Measuring Tapes parents are Ruler and Tape. Ive come up with more(not all of them).

TAPE!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! HE IS SO SHAPED!!!

the gods are still a bit of a mystery to me. there are twelve of them, (all dishware) but the only ones that are really important and fleshed out are Bowl and Plate. Plate was Bowl's caretaker when it was young, and after Bowl ran away, she got really depressed and holed up in the gods' realm. they all have varying numbers of eyes and wings.

here's a picture of Plate and a ladle guy i might make a god.

okie those are all the characters! (not even all of them I still havent mentioned Doll or any of the alliances ;))

[dumbbitchfrommars]

12am and i cant sleep.

its been so hard adjusting to all the change. it was unexpected, and i got used to something and didnt realise how that momentum would just disappear and how uncomfortable i would be about that.

i think i got used to the chaos of being a student. now i feel stuck, and im doubting myself. im really, really questioning.

but somehow i was blessed with a really wonderful man amidst it all?

doubt/fear/self criticism. its confusing me... i havent properly cried in so long. ive just gotten a bit too comfortable with the subtle, constant voice in my head putting me down for every little mistake and unmet expectation.

i am a good writer. i missed writing, really writing. i got so lazy. i feel so lazy, all the time. like im never quite putting in 100%, but if i did, i know id be able to achieve so much. id be so successful - probably at anything i put my mind into.

instead im so afraid of failing or being disappointed that i barely try at all.

my confidence is thin... i wonder if people can see through my facade?

im so ashamed and angry at myself for losing my temper today. it completely derailed the rest of my day. i feel terrible. i deserved to get in trouble today. it was my karma for being impatient, and mean, and angry. life is not that serious. nothing is worth that kind of anger. no stranger deserves that kind of anger...

im so tired but the coffee that i knew would throw me off is keeping me up. i was shaking for half the day today! i genuinely helped so many people but i also feel judged, criticised and under appreciated. i am not rostered again for this entire week.

work is not worth this frustration and anger and hurt. ive exhausted myself analysing the situation and its done. but, what is left if not that? what do i worry about instead? how others might judge me for dating this guy? or how my car is stuck in a carpark tonight and might be towed away by the morning? or, that i have $40 to my name right now with multiple trips interstate planned in the next few months? money doesnt matter. it never really mattered and is the least of my problems, and yet it floats back to me constantly like a persistent fly. i got bit on the fucking face by a mosquito!

but being hugged like that healed something in me. it was the most comforting hug ive had in so, so long. i could cry just thinking about feeling that way all the time. so warm and safe and protected and loved.

its nice to feel like i can be a shy girl again. like i dont have to pretend to be confident all the time, cause someone else is already, and hes ready to take the lead for me. so i can let my guards down and just be my self and not worry about scaring him off or making him insecure. and i like the way he tells me things. like he really shows me, and gets me to visualise what hes trying to explain. and i like how he rubbed my knee when i said i wasnt listening to him for one second. and i like how he kinda just decided for me that were hanging out again tomorrow. and i like how he asked "are you okay" when i got all anxious and made me laugh at myself instead of being awkward. how did he do that? he helped me not overthink by making a sweet joke and i could laugh. and my critical side is non existent when im with him, cause hes so confident in himself. hes so man. and i actually like him. i like talking to him, i like his personality, im drawn to him, i think hes attractive. i mean, he has odd style but it suits him. and he has some opinions that i disagree with but they arent dealbreakers. and hes such a boyyyy like hes so masculine man like wow they really do exist. all i had to do was look in a different place to my own. I KNEW IT TOO. i knew i liked them a little rough around the edges. ugh. okay. i think thats enough fawning over him now.

i wonder when we'll finally kiss. i dont think im ready yet... im scared of rushing and getting hurt again. i think he can tell and thats why hes been so slow and gentle with me. is crazy, isnt it? i seem so confident and attractive and cool from the outside. i feel like everyone profiles me as having so much handed to me. but its honestly so scary and hard to try do relationships and friendships. ive been hurt so much and im so so sensitive. but maybe i seem strong and like my walls are up or something, so people think im indestructible. but secretly im so soft and fragile and i need time. and i feel like hes giving me that time? like i dont think ive ever gone this long talking to a guy. i havent hung out with a guy 3 times without kissing once. thats a lie... but its also true, cause the taurus i always just expected it to not be romantic. i dont think i ever really saw us being in a relationship. but i can see myself with the scorpio. so its even a shock just for me, to see how seriously im taking this by not rushing. i want everything to be special and the right timing. i even want to meet his family and friends. and my sister really likes him. thats how i know hes good for me. because shes never wrong about people. could this be why i had such a trainwreck day today? did i receive some kind of evil eye the other night? but...who...? everyone seemed so sweet and happy and lovely. maybe its just a bad day and i shouldnt overthink it.

ugh.

its fucking freezing cold and now its past 1am. ugh.

i would love another one of those hugs, please. it was so lovely and nice and ugh. holy shit. i really like him!

[dailycass-cain]

Speaking as one of them. Being part of that WHOLE era. Why the waterworks started when holding a physical copy Shadow of the Batgirl and then the damn opening when reading that introduction by writer Sarah Kuhn.

I never thought IN A MILLION years. That Cassandra Cain would ever be given ANYTHING like that again. All the stuff that happened from 2006-2020. I'll fully admit I was beaten and trained by what DC did. Always waiting for them to change their mind, and pull the rug out from under me. Like they did when they walked back on her being EVIL. When they brought her back as Batgirl. When they said they had "big plans". And so on... and so forth with this little dance they gave... dangling that possibility. Then yanking it and we're given limbo.

Just the complete mismanagement by DC Comics. Because simply put, the character ages Bruce and Babs, and they saw NOTHING in the character.

While fans did see things. So many of us did. We did our best with what we had. Writing. Drawing. So many years trying to keep the character afloat. Showing others what we saw.

But that period broke so many. Many gave up with the New 52 being the final straw. Just the absolute. But I didn't. I saw what "they saw" and said, "NO!" I kept that fire burning best I could via anything social media, via my secondary job (at the time) being a part of theOuthousers (which I worked for during the New 52 era until the site's closure).

I tried my very best to just hope for that happy ending.

And... we got Shadow of the Batgirl.

Like... holding that copy. Opening to that introduction reading that graphic novel awakens all the emotions of what was endured. And.. I'm actually holding a solo graphic novel that stars Cassandra Cain. Not only that. Stars her as Batgirl. That treats her and Babs. Adds things to the mythos. Kuhn was much a fan as me. She did it. She got it. Nailed everything.

That's why I cry. A grown-ass old fan just crying his eyes out over a fictional character because a creative team understands them and delivers a banger story too.

Part of me wants to meet Kuhn one day. But another part of me doesn't. Because I'll be a balling mess.I already met artist Nicole Goux and thanked her to the heavens for what she drew in that book. I even got a commission to her drawing Cass for me:

Why I'm more mellow when it comes most when something happens to Cass (say the way she acts or was drawn in Batgirls), the cameos in Tom Taylor's Nightwing (fun stuff). Or Tynion's stuff. But I will criticize when it needs to be critical (i.e. "Gotham War" or the lack of positive exposure in the current Batman run). In truth, I'd probably shake James Tynion IV's hand and thank him repeatedly if he wasn't impossibly hot right now in the comic book world. That and Jessica Chen.

I've been through it all. I'll admit I raged in '06. Those who know me I threw A FIT. Probably wrote the worst Cass Toon because of it (though I still enjoy the "Doctor" joke in it and the other one with the Master taking over DC Comics). But I realized something with age. You have a favorite character? Just keep fighting with instead on WHY you love this character. WHY this character means the world to you. Do it via what you can. Find your method. But never give into the heat. Never target the creatives behind it. Because sometimes its not by their choice they do these things. Even the editorial who might or might not. I'm just tired of being angry. I just want to read a story where a creative team gets this character at the very least.

Why at my older age. I'm chilling and enjoying every second of this. IT IS A GIFT TO ME. A GIFT I'm cherishing every month since 2020. I'll keep doing this till either I just can't or just real life does something. But I just hope I did my job. Just showing WHY I loved this character Cassandra Cain, and just forever grateful we've gotten this period.

From so many glorious Detective Comic runs that had her. DCeased franchise. Dark Knights of Steel. DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration #1. Batman: One Bad Day- Two-Face. Batman: Urban Legends. Batgirls (every issue even THE BAD TWO) I bought all covers save FOUR variant covers. I ADORED the gift that was #14 too. Spirit World. Birds of Prey.

I'm just gonna keep enjoying the ride and if there's an end. At the very least a much better one than ANYTHING from 2006-2011 or the choices from 2016-2020.

BIG shoutout to Cass fans who endured her evil era, her New 52 erasure, and countless other editorial mandates - like you guys really pulled through for her so that newer fans (like me!) can enjoy her in all her glory. Seriously big thank you to older Cass fans <3333.

[glitchdollmemoria]

i think my couple years in the mormon church gave me an extra soft spot for the people caught up in it. like... i saw my mother go back to it after growing up mormon even after years of not being involved. i saw her want to leave again months later but feel forced to keep going because my stepfather insisted that the whole family needed to be mormon, he believed it and wanted to make sure the rest of us did too. i saw other queer kids who kept their queerness hush-hush. i went to girls camp and bonded with the other kids and teens there. i got blessings that were meant to help me, i started to believe the entry level things i was being taught.

even with all the fucked up shit the lds church teaches, the hateful and bigoted things, i only saw a smidge of it being a queer kid who was still new to the church. i knew my transness, and my attraction to ANYONE really because of my transness, was something i had to keep on the down low, but the people there were still my friends. i have to wonder how much the others in my age bracket even knew yet, since i know theres a lot that doesnt get revealed til youre an adult. and i have to wonder if any of them got out safely.

i get angry sometimes, on behalf of my own community and the other communities thrown under the bus by mormonism. it gets hard to reconcile that anger. there are people who have been and continue to be hurt by mormon beliefs, whether that was the more tangential stuff i was subjected to or the far more severe harm others have experienced. and there are also people raised within the church who dont even know about all that, or are cut off from points of reference to show them why that shit is bad. there are curious adults who get drawn in with the cult tactics used. there are secrets intentionally kept. i dont think that absolves people of guilt from harm they might have caused, but there are so many people who just had no choice. i was lucky, i had a father who didnt believe a single word of it and told me as such - even if his stark atheism led to me getting hurt when i told him i was converting to judaism, back in middle school he saved me from falling for a cult that hated my existence.

i have to wonder too if i was at least part of the reason my mother changed her mind. she knew i was queer, and even if she wasnt always the best ally, i think ultimately she really was trying. years later, when my sister was insistent on attending a queerphobic church, my mother was the one to ask her why she wanted to go to a church that preached against her own sibling. mom wasnt always the best but there was at least a part of her that cared. so i wonder if she was sitting there in the pews at the lds temple feeling worried about me. i wonder if thats part of why she changed her mind. i dont know. i cant ask her.

all of that is a very long winded way of saying i have complicated feelings about mormons and even if i get nervous when it comes to missionaries, even if i dont know if theyd be willing to step into an openly queer persons house once ive got my mezuzah and a whole truckload of other judaica in my home, even if theres a part of me that fears starting to fall for cult tactics again, i cant help myself from wanting to offer a drink and a snack and a friendly chat. im getting to an age where im older than missionaries now, instead of seeing them as "elders" to look toward for spiritual guidance. they get sent out so young to unfamiliar places where theyre constantly being watched. i cant not try to help them, even just by subtly showing them that there are kind people outside the church, and other ways to live. to the point that i find myself thinking about it on my own now and then.

[tasmpeter]

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚ ﾟ. VIGILANTE & MAN-EATER PRESENT: ROAD TRIP TO MURDERVILLE.

* ੈ🩸‧₊˚ chapter one: skin

( i. skin | ii. pocketful of sunshine | iii. two of hearts | iv. disco tits )

— pairing: adrian chase x mercenary!reader

— synopsis: vigilante and man-eater hardly knew each other. hell, they didn't even know each other's real names. they have met a couple times. man-eater collecting bounties on wanted men, only to find adrian chase standing over the dead bodies of the men she was attempting to kill. that’s how all their run ins went. man-eater too late to cash in on her bounties and vigilante always there, waiting for you. it was a game for you two. who could get to the bad guy first?

after man-water missed a half of a million dollars bounty due to vigilante and pure boredom, you came up with a proposition. vigilante and man-eater drive across country, collecting only the highest bounties and split the profit. with peacemaker in prison, adrian had nothing to keep him in evergreen. so began two sociopaths killing (and fucking) their way around america.

— content warnings: smut (unprotected sex, pain kink, degration kink, rough sex, knife play, blood kink, knife kink, masked sex), gore, violence, small mentions of drug usage, swearing. 18+ minors dni.

— authors note: this is part one of a series i’m writing! this is my first time writing smut so if y’all have any tips, send them my way. this is also cross posted on ao3 & wattpad! enjoy <3

* currently revamping the series a little! just some minor editing & layout changes. this chapter has been edited <3

masterlist 🩸 requests

You knew you were too late before you even arrived.

The wooden doors were falling off the hinges and there was a blood trail leading to the bedroom. Crack pipes and various needles were scattered about the house. Your victim was suppose to be a big time crackhead who owed some very powerful people money. You slammed her fist into the broken door. That one was worth 500k. You were going to kill Vigilante.

Vigilante and Man-Eater had this thing. You would try to collect a bounty, and he would always be there right before you arrived, killing them. The first couple times, you let it slide, chalking it up to coincidence, but now— now it is fucking personal.

Your footsteps were muffled by the blood soaked carpet as you stepped into the bedroom, pistol drawn. There was your bounty, dead on the floor surrounded in blood, and Vigilante, covered in blood, sat comfortably on the bed.

"I was waiting for you, wondered if you were ever going to show up. You are pretty late this time, this guy has been dead for at least twenty minutes,” Vigilante said, twirling a knife in his hands.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" You screamed, pulling a knife out of your thigh holster and charging at him. Vigilante was now laid flat on his back on the shitty, cigarette burned bed with a knife to his throat. Man-Eater straddling his thighs, hovering over the masked man. His breaths became heavier and you felt like you could hear his heart beating from here. Man-Eater didn't know if it was due to your overly frustrating day or the fact you hadn't slept in two days, but the man you had spread out beneath you had never looked hotter. It suit him, being beneath you.

"If you wanted to be on top, you could have just asked,” Vigilante spoke and you could just hear the fucking smirk on his lips. His hips bucked against your thigh as you just pressed the knife harder against his throat — turning him on more (and maybe yourself).

"You are one sick fuck. I'm holding a knife to your throat and all you can think about is wanting to fuck me,” You said, licking your lips at the sight of this man writhing underneath you.

"Well, you are really hot and your thigh is pressed directly into my crotch. The knife thing is just a plus," Vigilante moaned out as your thigh pressed harder into his crotch. You knew what you were doing. Maybe out of anger for him taking your kill once again or maybe — maybe you wanted him too.

"Take the fucking mask off,” You calmly stated. Your maroon latex suit had a main zipper down the front that allowed you to slip the costume on with ease. Maybe to tease Vigilante — or turn him on even more, you slowly began to pull the zipper, exposing your black bra underneath.

"You can't see my face. I wear one for a reason,” Vigilante pleaded, eyes directed at the cleavage in front of him. You rolled her eyes and with the tip of the knife, rolled up the bottom of his mask so that his lips were exposed. They were bright pink and wet — they looked so kissable.

Then, you kissed him. You kissed him hard and rough, like you were making a statement with your lips. Like you didn't want to be kissing him, but here you were, making out with a guy you had just threatened to kill. Even with your mouth, Man-Eater was putting up a fight.

After processing the fact he had a beautiful lady on top of him, kissing him, Vigilante finally kissed back. He met you with the same ferocity that you kissed him with. Sloppy, hard, and fast. Tongues clashing together, teeth knocking into one another. It was primal. There was no love in that kiss. Only frustration and lust were to be found in that room.

Vigilante slowly made his way towards the zipper of your suit, and almost like he was teasing you, slowly started to unzip the latex suit even further. He was taking excruciatingly long and, maybe fueled by lust and frustration, you unzipped your entire suit, kicking it on the floor. You were almost naked now, only a bra and underwear covering you now — and Vigilante was dying to rip them off. He pushed your onto the bed and tore the black underwear of your body, and slowly began kissing his way up your legs. Your hands were already on his mask, begging to be gripping hair instead.

"If you don't put that fucking mouth on something useful, I'll fucking cut it off,” You begged as you were writhing in pleasure underneath Vigilante. He moaned when you said that. He fucking moaned at the threat of physical violence against him. He was one perverted motherfucker. He finally placed his mouth between your legs and you swore you found god.

Vigilante began lapping at your cunt, trying to draw you wetter and wetter. Your screams of pleasure filled the empty house — minus the dead body on the floor beside them, and your screams only made him grow harder. His tongue quickened it's pace with each scream you let out. He wanted you begging for you life beneath him. You couldn't take it any longer. You needed to feel him inside of you.

"V. I- I need you inside of me,” You moaned through your words. Vigilante wasted little time unbuckling his pants and slipping himself inside of you. Their moans became one as he entered your tight cunt.

After the first wave of pleasure finished rolling over his body, Vigilante began picking up the pace. Each thrust leaving the mercenary a mess underneath him. Squirming and gripping bedsheets as he bottomed out with each thrust. His mouth found your large breasts and began sucking on your nipples. Your moans became louder, holding onto the back of Vigilantes amour to steady yourself.

He pulled himself off of your breasts, "You are such a fucking whore. Fucking an unnamed guy you don't even know in some crack house." Each word annunciated with a thrust.

"S-says you. You find the first pussy you see and start fucking it. I-I was trying to kill you and it fucking turned you on, you fucking manwhore," You said between each trust, choking back your moans while you spit venom. You weren’t nice about it. What they were doing, wasn't nice.

His hands found themselves around your neck and squeezed, "You haven't even seen my face, but you, I have seen plenty of you. You think that little paint on your face hides your identity, but it doesn't. Yet here you are, taking the cock of a guy you haven't even looked in the eyes."

You moaned as he squeezed tighter around your neck and your hands slowly made way for the knife laying on the bed next to them, "Then take it off."

Vigilante laughed, "And why should I do that? Kind of defeats the point of a secret identity." He was still pounding away at her cunt. His balls slapping against your fragile skin, stinging your raw skin.

Quickly, Man-Eater pulled the knife back to Vigilante's throat, pressing deep enough to cause discomfort, but not enough to actually drawn blood, "Come on, baby. You don't want to look me in the eyes while you fuck me?"

Maybe it was the feeling of the cold metal against his throat, or the way you begged him to take off his mask. But he reached up and pulled the mask off of his head and for the first time, the two made eye contact.

"Now that's a good boy,” You drawled out, the knife pressing deeper into his neck, just begging to break skin. You just began actually notice Vigilantes unmasked face. He was oddly beautiful. He wasn't traditionally gorgeous, but god was he gorgeous to her. His green eyes and the damp curly brown hair stuck to the sweat on his forehead. He looked nerdy and not like a cold blooded killer. Maybe that turned you on more.

In one swift move, you were now flat on your stomach and Vigilante's deep strokes began once again. The knife that was pressed against his throat, thrown across the room and your arms were now pinned behind back. The room echoed with the sounds of the meshing of skin. You arched your back up to deepen the connection.

"Vig, I-I'm going to come!” You screamed out through the sounds of slapping skin.

"M-me too," Vigilante could barely make the words out. He was out of breath and he felt himself slowly beginning to let himself go.

"Vig! Oh-oh! Yes!" The pair release at the same time and you had never felt more pleasure in your life. You had never wanted something more than you did then.

Laid out on your back, you were still trying to catch your breath. You had never been fucked like that before — ever. The crack house bedroom no longer smelt like fresh blood and gunpowder. Instead, a humid air lingered along with the smell of sex and swear. Vigilante kept checking his throat to make sure you didn't actually cut him. There was a small knick, nothing major, he'll live. You chuckled at the guy. He seemed majorly neurotic and it was a breath of fresh air. All the men you had even been with or met were arrogant, hot headed and selfish. A selfish man doesn't immediately eat a girl out. Maybe you could grow to stand Vigilante. Enough for let him eat your pussy more often.

"So, what's your name then?" You asked, standing up to grab your clothes scattered across the floor. You found your underwear in the pile of blood. Fuck, you won't be wearing those.

This apparently startled the killer, too preoccupied checking his throat to remember he had another person in the room, "Uh, that is top secret information."

You rolled your eyes and stepped into the latex suit, "I already saw your face, dumbass. Not really top secret information anymore. I was going to offer you a business proposition, but since you don't trust me enough to tell me your name, I guess I won't ask you."

Now intrigued by the offer, Vigilante peaked his head up and turned towards you, "Well, if I were to tell you my name, what would the offer be?"

You sauntered over to the boy, your suit still unzipped to your stomach, "Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come on a little road trip with me. I have a couple of big bounties lined up across the country, and — not that I need the help — you just seem like you are good at being a bounty hunter. We would split the cash."

Vigilante pondered the question. Well, he already knew his answer, he just wanted to watch Man-Eater nervously play with her cuticles and twitch. A beautiful murder just asked him to travel across the United States for money? Of course he was in. Ever since Peacemaker went to prison, he had been getting increasingly bored of Evergreen. Same petty criminals, same boring job. Until he crossed paths with you. You were sexy, dangerous, mysterious, and hilarious. Watching Man-Eater get angry with him because he killed one of your targets was incredibly funny. Most fun he's had since Peacemaker left.

"Adrian Chase."

You looked up from her hands and locked eyes with the man in front of you. A smile spread across your face and Adrian thought he was staring into the sun. He could get used to that.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Adrian,” The way you said his name. It was breathy and drawn out, almost like a moan. Seduction was definitely one of your strong suits. You reached your hand out and was met with a firm handshake from Adrian.

"So, who are we killing first?" Adrian asked, clipping pieces of his suit back together.

You zipped up the rest of her maroon suit, "Jimmy Rogers. A small time arms dealer in Twin Falls, Idaho. Worth about a 100k."

Adrian nodded, not daring to look away from your eyes, "Well, who's car are we taking?"

[merakiui]

oky may I ask kindly for your attention about something

I read a few asks ago about you being okay with yan reader

so listen, if you will, what if we mix that with the self aware au. just discarding the fact that the characters are yandere for the reader, and a yan reader

I've been thinking inside my circle brain, like I always have, but this one keeps sticking with me

just imagine a reader, like any of us going through the tags on tumblr and seeing some of the popular tags, one being similar to the characters becoming obviously self aware. so reader reads posts upon posts and you know loving the concept of reader's favorite character becoming aware about the world and stuff

so days pass and reader knows tons of things, the stories, the characters back stories, the theories, just about anything really

then by some "miracle" as one might think, reader is playing the game, giving comments or keeping quiet, whichever and sees the game glitch a bit. discarding it to be because of the ping but it happens again when switching character. now with the overactive mind of reader's, you can't keep the weird glitch out of your head. you know like you can't help but think a hacker is trying to take your account. doesn't sit right, you can't lose your characters, your progress, but more importantly you can't lose them your favorite character over something like a loser just wanting the account. so as a safety precaution, you set up the two-step authentication, a change of password, maybe even email. the thought of losing your favorite character struck a cord but it was left alone. then there was the possibility that, maybe this is something that ive read about, I can't miss that chance

so deciding play later to make sure it wasn't just a one time thing, and there was something, something that made reader feel giddy. something like the opening screen having the door open already. now the thoughts of maybe this is good, this is perfect. this is something spectacular.

immediately you were faced with your character in the last place you left them at, and the n noticing that at the left corner, there was a dot on the chat. checking and seeing that someone left a message.

somehow immediately telling the person was confused, a tell tale sign, was the drawn out periods on some of the words. as if when speaking, it was as if they were drawing out their words. you check the account because you don't recall making a friend, knowing someone active at the same time as you,

there you notice the person has a character avatar, name card, and name, no signature, but a very low at level. ar lvl 1. about to just ignore them because who has the time when you want to check if all you wanted to check was if anything else was different

right at the moment of deleting the conversation, a new bubble came up. with the words that made you anticipate their next move. they called your name, or basically asking if this is you. almost as if confirming. typing back a response

and the best days of your lives start there

but it isn't enough. now knowing that certain characters you can talk on the chat, and a few selective you can avidly talk to with your voice if needed. you talk to them, they talk to you but the one that has your heart backflips was your favorite character. now being able to hear them talk outside the lines they were programmed to say. the character is off script and you wish you could have it like that

but you want more. hearing their voice was just the beginning for those back in the mind thoughts. those that you don't want to think about again later, but you can't help it.

what felt like a want, it's now a need. you need more. so doing something you never thought you would have to actually do as it is something you've seen some ff writers write about. asking albedo, or more so trying to convince to create some that can either have the characters in your world, or you in theirs. but that wouldn't do. you in the world of teyvat is like expecting a wall to move when asked to. you are most definitely powerless unless you are able to see the game graphics and mechanics, but you are not taking the chance.

now they in your world, they would most definitely be powerless, just not weak. perhaps visions don't work, and their weapons don't appear, but that's fine, at least to you. of course because they gained a vision, they must have definitely trained. gotten strength and studied just in case they aren't able to use their vision.

one advantage over you, but you won't be thinking about that just yet. you still have to convince albedo that he can study more in your world, that the characters could go to your world to relax, that there is something good about what you want him to do

or somehow gotten some liyue adepti magic or something

just something to bring your favorite character into your arms.

after all, you know them inside and out and you have a fair advantage over them

:O this is so interesting!!! I absolutely love this idea, anon! Imagine they come into our world and are confused because it’s modern times and their Visions probably don’t work here, so they’ll have to rely on you for help when it comes to certain technologies and such.