#i just...dont know if dating women is in the cards for me

[reckless-glitch]

hey! did you have that date with that woman? I remember you were panicking a little because you hadn't dated a woman in awhile just wondering how it went 💚

so remember this

that was her the morning of the date

i uh

i cancelled lmfao

i've got a date tuesday though! with a very nice enby (their word not mine I know a lot of nonbinary people don't care for it) who hasn't once called me something weird or gone on a two hour long monologue about fucking me

[ennabear]

Hiya ennnabear!! Back with another req (　ﾟ 3ﾟ)

can i ask for sum sevika x hyperfemme!reader? Could either be a fic or a list of headcannons, nsfw or sfw, i really dont mind !! >3< the prompts up to your interpertation!! Whatever u feel comftorable with!! ＼(^o^)／

I can just imagine Sevika, with her pastel pink, poofy-dressed eyecandy, sitting on her lap as she plays cards .. the people shes playing with all sorta eyeing reader because like what the fuck?? And reader is just like 'oh sevikas just so adorable shsjkassjksksk cutie patootie i wuv her!!!!!' while Sevika is off in the distance beating someone half to death because he touched her shoulder .. on accident ( ﾟーﾟ)

also, i beg of you to use inspo from that one scene in deadpool where he meets yukio. I kid you not thats where i got this requests inspo from.

"What in the fuck knuckles is this?"

(Sevika, with a literal living doll in her lap) "Shes my girlfriend you intolerant shit."

"Woah! Pump the hate breaks, fox-and-friends! Im just suprised anyone would date you! Especially pinkie pie from my little pony."

aaaaa i love this woman sososo much ( ´∀`) my 6' criminalistic murderer drug (shimmer) addict babygirl (〃_ _)

thanks in advance if u decide to write this !! sorry for the agonizingly long yap sesh (^_^;)

--🃏🌀⭐️

(and now to crawl back into my pit of lesbian shame .. (ФωФ))

HIII ANON sorry this took me so long to answer but i’m occupied with writing 2 sevika oneshots so i hope i can earn your forgiveness once they’re out 🫶 also i yapped a lil about hyperfemme!sevika here so ignore the fact that i can’t follow a request to save my life!!! 18+

ok so the way i envision sevika’s girlfriend would be a little bit… drag-ey?? i don’t really know how to explain it so allow me to elaborate…

1. we already know that femme lesbians are feminine in a way that’s different from feminine straight women (more cutesy, stylish, female gaze, etc.) but also…

2. with the way people dress in zaun (when they’re not murdering each other) and the general way they’re animated is very costumey. lots of face paint, masks, sophisticated outfits.

so i think in the arcane universe you’d probably dress something like this. painting your skin weird colors, covering yourself head to toe in body glitter, wearing expensive wigs, corsets, and heels that look impossible to move in, and stuff like that.

that means sevika would try to make sure you’re comfortable 24/7!!! especially if you’re wearing something potentially dangerous like heels that are two feet tall, she wouldn’t let you walk the whole night, instead picking you up and hauling you around.

as if the money silco pays her isn’t enough, she makes tons of money from the guys she gambles with. she spends every last PENNY on you. it’s not like she needs to spend it on herself though, her arm and her scowl are a pretty deadly weapon, and she doesn’t go all out with clothes like you do.

also i think she’d completely fold if you ever wore a low cut top or even no top when you go out with her (and she doesn’t believe in bras… so…) especially if you have piercings in/around your tits, she’d be fondling them and groping them all night!!!

she 10000000% has a thing for public sex!!!! while she’s playing cards, she’ll slide your skirt up (if it’s even long enough…), and have you ride her strap. the dumbfucks she’s playing with would gawk and stare at what’s obviously going on in her lap, but she’s about to rob them of their money, so they really shouldn’t be focusing on it.

oooh and once you finally cum, she’d be like “good girl, now give me another. okay?” and her fingers would start vibrating as you slump down next to her… of course you might get weird looks, but if anyone tries to say or do anything about it she could literally just kill them. (or maybe she’s feeling nice and will break a few of their ribs instead, who knows…)

she’d be constantly covered in some kind of your makeup. especially if you wear a crazy color lipstick like bright blue or something, her lips and cheeks and nose would be that color the whole night. and if you wear body glitter, it would look sooooo pretty on her skin. she’d be glaring at people all night like 😡😡😡😡 but her face and hands would look like ✨✨🌈🦄🩷✨✨

adding onto that, she’d look sooo pretty if she let you experiment (which is a pretty big IF), but imagine her with her hair curled, wearing pretty purple glitter on her cheeks and arms, in some sort of heeled boots that make her even taller than she needs to be, and in a dress?? in a short dress??? sevika in a short dress???? i’ll (s)cream right now…

if someone manages to corner you and talk to you about sevika, the conversation would be hilarious and very unproductive. they’d be like “why her? doesn’t she scare you?” and you’d be like “sevika? my little baby bear?? my knight in shining armor who screams at the sight of bugs??? no… she doesn’t scare me…”

meeting silco and the rest of the last drop crew would be… quite the experience. they’re all staring with wide eyes, practically shaking because of how scary she looks, and then there’s you with your hands entwined with hers, some of your bright pink face paint smudging onto her cheeks and neck as you nuzzle into her. silco’d find her alone for one moment and ask “who the hell is that?” and she’d reply with “my girlfriend. 😾 don’t mess with her.” and he’d be like “your girlfriend? your girlfriend is a barbie doll?? o…kay… congrats to both of you…”

[scentedashes]

Finally long awaited, A threesome story about Columbina x Read x Arlecchino!!

Sub!Reader Dom!Arlecchino Switch!Bina

NSFW, WLW MEN DNI!

--------------------------------------------------

You we're in a poly relationship with two women named Arlecchino and Columbina. Arlecchino and Columbina was the first ones to start dating until Columbina introduced you to Arlecchino, agreeing to a poly relationship.

You and Columbina just got home from a shopping spree, mostly spending Arlecchino's credit card as she was one of the richest woman in the town.

"Phew, my legs hurt from walking.." You sighed as you plopped down the couch "Mhm.. Hey, where's Arle?" She questioned, "I think shes going to be home any minute now"

As soon as you said that someone opened the front door, "Hey ladies, busy shopping hm?" Arlecchino entered, her hair was a mess. "Mhmm! We bought new shoes and-" As Columbina yapped about the entire shopping spree you guys did.

"And you almost maxed out my credit card huh?" You and Columbina went silent. "Wellll-" As you were about to continue your sentence Arlecchino spoke, "Seems like your the one who spent alot of money hm?" Glaring at you while getting her necktie off, "Maybee" You confessed, "Naughty girl.. I need something in exchange right?" You wondered what she meant.

"I dont care if your legs hurt from the walking you've dome, you spent my money you need to pay it back." With her unbuttoned suit, "What do you mean by ,,exchange,,?.." you wondered, "Oh you'll know.. Bina, get them please." Pointing at the drawer, Columbina was smirking and smiling. Making you wonder whats about to happen, Columbina suddenly pulled out 2 straps and a vibrator.

"Y-you guys had those in that drawer the entire time?!" You we're shocked seeing those. "Good reasons Darling, now undress slowly and lay on the bed for us, hm? You're a good girl after all right." Columbina gave Arlecchino the other strap and the vibrator.

"Pst, Arle, you should go slow with them, its their first time yk?" Columbina suggested while whispering in Arlecchino's ear, "No, they can handle it." While you were fully stripped you were blushing hard. "You need lube.. Come here" Making you know she wants to make you sit on her lap.

"Good girl, now.." She turns on the vibrator and puts it on your sensitive clit, "Ngh..!" You moaned, you didnt notice the vibrator in her hand. She made the vibrator go faster and go in a circular motion, not too long she shoved it in.

"Agh..! Mmnn.." Your body was twitching and it was obvious you we're almost hitting your climax, "See Bina, she can handle it." She puts the vibrator on max, making you hit your climax. "Nngh!" She panted heavily. "I think thats enough lube.. Which are you ganna take Bina?" She questioned her, "I'll take the top part, that'll be fun!!" She gets on top of the bed and goes above your head,

"Such a pretty face.. Let me take a picture of before and after." She giggled as she took a picture of your face, "After what?.." You were confused, "You'll see baby, lets see how ruined your face is going to get after this mess." Arlecchino puts on the strap and puts a finger in signaling you, "Ngh..!" Im putting it in.

"O-ok-" You were cut off by Columbina, You didnt notice her get naked but she sat on your face. Riding it. You began to eat her out and holding her thigh, She moaned.

"Y-you're such a g-good! Girl.." She kept getting cut off from the pleasure, Meanwhile at Arlecchino's side.. She thrusted the Strap deep. "Agh..! Nngh..!" You moaned, her thrusts we're HARSH.

She hit your g-spot making you instantly climax, "Such a wet pussy." She kept thrusting harder and it became faster every thrust, Your eyes we're all teary from how hard and harsh the thrusts we're, but you couldnt breathe well since Columbina was sitting on top of you, you we're eating her out. She kept moaning, and humming, she giggled. "Aww, my babies pretty face got ruined already?~" Teasing you.

She took a picture of your teary face, "Agh!.." You kept moaning and twitching from evey thrust Arlecchino did. Arlecchino held your boobs, she licked and bit the side of your boobs while thrusting leaving a bite mark. "MMmmgh!.." You moaned, "Such a messy wet girl.." She said to you while thrusting even harder, every thrust hit your g-spot, you hit your climax once again.

"That was fast.." Your walls were so tight that she could even feel it from the strap. After 3 hours of this madness You guys finally stopped. "A-ah.." Your body twitches, your eyes teary and watery. Your hair and body was a mess.

"Aww~ My baby us so messy~ Did we take it too far Arle?~" Teasing you, "Probably, but she handled it. So she knows what'll happen the next time dhe Maxes my card. Bina took a picture of your face,

"Look at this messy face of our little girl.. So messed up~" Columbina was dripping from your eating her out. She couldnt even stand without her legs twitching, "She was a very hungry eater~" Glaring at you, your body was filled with bite marks and hickeys. "Such a strong girl.. Handling a 9 inch strap am i right Bina?" Taking the strap off, "Could we continue?~ I have the greatest idea!~" As she whispers something to Arlecchino, she nodded and picked you up, she puts on the strap once again and Columbina putted a strap on too.

Your legs we're already week. Knowing you won't be able to even walk for days. "Be a good girl and handle us ok?~" Columbina teased your clit, She inserts the strap into your ass and Arlecchino inserted the strap in your pussy.

"A-ah! T-too much..!" They we're already thrusting hard and fast. Leaving a bulge on your stomach from Arlechino's strap, double penetration was too much for you, you instantly hit your climax the minute you guys started, "I'll count how many climaxes you hit ~" Columbina said, continuing her hard thrusts. Arlecchino bit your shoulder leaving a mark, while columbina left a hickey on your neck, you hit your climax once again.

"2.." She counted as she promised. After another 3 hours of those two pounding your ass and pussy away, you couldnt feel a thing. You couldn't even stand,

"And 32!" You were shocked on how many climax you hit. "I think that's enough for today, right Arle?" Arlecchino nodded as she layed you down onto the bed. She chuckled, "You were such a good girl today. 6 Hours of pounding, Impressive." She smirked, "Pst, good thing i got a wheelchair!" As Columbina pulled out a wheelchair, thats why You wondered why she bought that earlier at the mall.

"I cant even feel my legs." You had no energy left leaving you to sleep. "Such a messy body and face, we did such a good job today Arle~" Columbina clapped, "Mhm.." Arlecchino giggled while agreeing.

THE END!!!!!

Thank you for reading, this was kinda rushed 😞 and lazyness got me, its not that good so im sorry 😿

Some part were told to be added by a req!!<3

[thatdeadaquarius]

I was playing Genius Invocation yesterday, but out of nowhere this idea came to me like tge whispers of an old god.

How would the characters react to knowing they are the creator's favorite card? (Mine are Beidou and Ningguang, but if you are confortable, I would like to know yours as well)

AHDAALLL I HAVENT PLAYED TGI CARD GAME ENOUGH!! SO FOR NOW I RLLY LOVE THE WAY CYNO AND KAEYA'S ART LOOKS (tho diluc does look shmall in his hehe)

Thank you for your patience!! Sorry this is SO FUCKING late :0 and if it’s bad! i havent rlly liked my writing the past couple pieces, so i stuck with some fun headcanons i thought of while kicking me feet and twirling my hair over this question hehehe

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU/Isekai Stuff :)

Orbit: Headcanons

Stars: Beidou, Ningguang, Kaeya, Cyno

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing & Trigger Warnings: None Known.

☆

Beidou:

BIGGEST EGO BOOSTS OF HER LIFE LMAO

SHE WOULD LITERALLY SUBTLY FLEX EVERYTIME UR AROUND IM CRYINGGG

Every fucking port knows she’s a favored one, every goddamn pirate knows it atp, hell maybe even some abyss monsters at sea too-

(Kazuha’s happy for her, but also lowkey jealous)

literally got one of her cards framed and hung in her captain’s quarters, and insisted you sign it omfg-

Ningguang isnt surprised tbh, (she knows u like strong women lol)

Ningguang:

…she gives one of the most smug smirks of her entire fucking life.

All of Liyue is gushing for her, not that she isn’t also excited on the inside, she’s just more proud than anything on the outside/for appearances

Literally set up a whole date meeting that felt like it was about to turn into a goddamn wedding proposal

I’m talking giving handcarved furniture, household necessities but they’re in pretty colors that all match (like a gold tea kettle, gold throw blanket, etc.)

Full nine-yards different kinds of teas, cakes, and all accustomed to your taste

so if u dislike super sweet stuff there are more savory items, the teas can be more bitter, or if u love sweets, this woman is giving you a bakery basically every day for nearly 2 weeks, u dont have enough space in the cabinet for all these teas- help-

Kaeya:

so fucking smug on the outside, def brags about it in Angel’s Share and he’ll only just be tipsy he’s so fucking excited to talk abt it

whenever conversations end or get a lull, he just, “So anyway, our All-Powerful Guide, really likes my TCG card, maybe even above yours, Diluc…”

pls stop him he’s annoying Diluc, and slowly other patrons 😭 (there are bar rules posted on the wall, and Diluc adds one, not for the first time, specifically for Kaeya to stop talking about TCG while in the bar LMAO)

Now all Kaeya has to do is just pull out his card (cough he’s constantly got it in his pocket, the one he asked u to sign cough)

Rosaria just looks the other way like if she can’t see it it’s not real, Diluc will literally be in the middle of making a drink for one of them and just leave it halfdone and attend to somebody else, Venti’s eye twitches-

and the entire bar just groans too LMAOOO

(have a meme I made just for you <3 )

Cyno:

oh no.

Look what you’ve done, you’ve seduced the General Mahamatra!!

Take responsibility, play TCG with him every time you see him now lmao, the only reason all of Sumeru knows you like his card (which makes it all that more desirable to ppl who do play, and collectors)

is bc he talked to Tighnari about it for hourssss, and then it made it’s way down the grapevine, and if they didn’t find out that way, the other was just seeing the usually stern and formidable General Mahamatra nearly vibrate out of his headpiece when you come near him every time you visit

Cyno weirdly gains like, 20x the luck when ur either playing against him, or sitting watching him play someone else, he’s struggling to find partners tbh bc “you’re my lucky charm? Of course I’m winning more.”

When you initially told him about him being one of ur fav cards, he literally looked like there was a loading sign over his head… Then proceeded to nearly break your ribs hugging you so hard, and nearly take ur eye out with the ears on his headpiece lol

☆

Sorry if all my writings shit for these past 2 posts! Idk im just thinking its not so good rn and idk how to fix it-

anyway I’ve started playing Breath of the Wild over the past like 2-3 months I think, and it’s amazingggg

I may or may not be both getting gender envy and also a huge crush on Link help-

Safe Travels Wandering Lantern,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

An iced coffee? For me??

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[jackmanbj]

single

AN: this is my first angst fic, enjoy, also this has two parts.🫀

summary: jack has been telling you to wait for him to be ready in a real relationship but likes to fuck other girls and gets mad when you talk to another dude.

you and jack had just got back to the hotel after his performance.

jack was beyond exhausted, he just wanted to lay down in your arms and fall asleep to you whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

jack got into the shower with you following behind him.

“jackie, when are you going to commit to me..?”

“baby please, you known i love you, we can talk about this tomorrow im so fucking tired i can barely stand up..”

“ok baby i dont want to stress you, lets just go to bed, ok.”

you both finished washing off and went to lay down.

you laid on the bed while jack climbed on top of you.

jack didnt take long to fall asleep, you sighed feeling lonely, sure you were seeing jack, but it didnt feel like it.

jack would go out to clubs every other night and be kissing girls, hell sometimes maybe even fucking them, you never knew when it came to him.

you let your mind shut off as you fell asleep scratching jacks hair with your acrylic nails.

the next morning by the time you woke up, jack was gone.

you sighed and checked the time before getting up and heading to brush your teeth.

you found jacks dirty clothes on the floor by his bag, you picked then up getting a plastic bag and placing them in until you could wash them.

you heard your phone ringing and went to go answer it.

*incoming call from stinka💕*

you answered and heard urban in the background taking to what sounded like ace.

“yea jack?”

“im so sorry i left before you could wake up, the boys wanted to go out and i didnt want to wake you, i just wanted to call and let you know where i was.”

“its fine babe, have fun”

“thank you mamas, love you.”

“love to too.”

jack hung up and started cuddling up to the girl who obviously knew he was talking to someone, but didnt care as he talked to his friends.

“dude you gotta either commit to y/n or break it off with her, you’ve been leading her on for the longest.”

“urban just give me time.. i want her i just dont know when i want to commit.”

“their is no way you want her honestly, you have been with two other girls since the one from last night!”

“fuck i just need time, im going see y/n.”

urban looked at jack with nothing but disappointment, jack had always claimed he didnt like toxic relationships, he just wanted one girl to love on forever.

it was all for an image, jack wanted anybody who would fuck him.

jack loved you though, he knew he loved you, you knew he loved you, hell everybody knew.

well everybody who wasn’t the public.

jack didnt hide the fact he was actively going in and out of relationships or getting ready to commit.

he loved the attention he would get from women wanting to get under your skin, even if they didnt know you, they wanted you to know jack was cheating on you and he loved the adrenaline it gave him, hell if it was up to him he would date you in an one way open relationship, he could fuck whoever while your the house wife of the decade.

jack pulled up to the hotel and went in to find a not with your handwriting on the island that said

“im going treat myself, i went to get my hair done, nails done, and i might go to hang out at a club or something. i dont know if you’re going to be back before me so i wrote this. love you lots see you later.”

jack sighed knowing you probably took his card and there would be a lot less money from before.

jack called you and it went straight to voicemail, he went to text you and seen you were ok dnd, he texted you and pressed noti anyway.

stinka💕- call me back love

you huffed and looked at the message and seen jacks name, you were getting your toes done so your hands were free and you called him back.

“yes babe?”

“did you take my cards?”

“yea, of course.”

“you didnt even ask me what the fuck.”

“jack baby, i just wanted to have time to myself, all i did was get my nails done so far, i can cancel everything else if its that big of a deal.”

“its fine i just..never mind, have a good day my girl, enjoy yourself.”

“thank you jack.”

you finished your nails and went to the store to grab some snacks for while you get your hair done.

while you were in the store a man with freeform’s approached you

“hey ma’am you mind if i pay for your things?”

“uhm thanks but you dont have to really!”

“please?”

“yes sure, thanks so much.”

“no problem.”

the man paid and as you were walking out he stopped you again.

“hey uhm, i was wondering.. can i have your number.”

“yes sure.”

the man quickly took out his phone and saved his number as ‘Warren’

you took your phone back and headed out the store walking to your car getting ready for the appointment.

you started driving and jack called you.

you answered the phone through the car screen not wanting to pick up your phone.

“yes jack? im driving, cant really talk.”

“why were you at the store so long? you ok?”

“yes im fine this dude asked yo pay for my things thats all.”

“did you let him?”

“yes why wouldn’t i?”

“man what the fuck? your out with my card and letting another man buy your shit? i bet he was just trying to get your number.”

“her put his number in my phone, im probably just going to be his friend dont want to lead him on.”

jack didnt say another word, he just hung up and your music started blasting.

you knew the phone didn’t disconnect because jack let out a puff before hanging up.

once you were done with all your appointments and having your day out you went back to the hotel with a few shopping bags hanging on your arm as you sucked your strawberry smoothie.

you dropped your bags off on the island and went to the bedroom ready to show off your hair and nails and make it up to jack.

when you walked in jack was making out with another girl who simply smiled at you before rubbing jack through his pants.

usually you had the mindset “its almost never the secret girls fault, if she didn’t know. if she did, beat that hoe ass.”

and thats what you did.

you set your smoothie down acting calm and went to the bathroom.

jack not knowing what you were going to do, he continued wanting to get under your skin.

you walked out the bathroom with your hair in a bun and immediately ran to punch the girl in the face.

she tried her hardest to fight back while you just were beating on her.

jack let you get your anger out on her so it wouldn’t be as bad on him but after about forty seconds he pulled you off, she girl not wanting to fight back.

jack told the girl get out while holding you to his chest.

“what no! you love me! you told me that jack!!”

“ok i lied, get out. i have to take care of my little princess.”

“fine.” she tried to put her clothes on but you picked up her shirt and got out of jacks grip, she ran after you for her shirt and you threw it out the door.

“fetch.”

the girl groaned and put her shirt on in the hall and waited for jack to bring her phone ect out.

jack placed it into your hands to give to her and you threw her things on the ground.

you slammed the door and all your anger now went towards jack.

you started walking up to him and were about to punch his face but he caught your arm.

you couldn’t help but get so mad to the point you cried, you were sick of getting treated like this, you were sick of getting humiliated, sick of jack saying “i loved you” to three different people other then you in one day.

jack pulled you to his chest and let you cling to his while you let it all out.

jack led you to the bedroom as you stopped crying.

“i love you baby..”

“no you dont.”

“if i didn’t i wouldn’t be with you, i love you.. just need time to express it and get ready to commit because i only want you.”

“jack i cant do this, im getting a plane ticket home for tomorrow, im not moving out but ill be in the guest room, until you can prove to me that you love me and stop bring all these women in your life. i cant, i love you but i cant.”

you started packing your things while jack couldn’t help but watch and cry.

he did love you.

but he loved to many other people to commit to you.

you left the room not sure where else to go except urbans room.

urban let you in with warm hugs and let you stay in the main room while he took the sofa.

you flew back the next day and jack wouldn’t stop texting you.

stinka💕- text me when you get home love, have a safe flight.

stinka💕- its been 4 hours, i know your home call me please.

stinka💕- mamas, i know you’re extremely upset with me and so exhausted because of everything i’ve put you through this year, but i love you. even if i cant show it right now, ma i love you. you know i do, i’ll be better for you i promise i will but i need you to call me so i know your safe, or text me even just a period. something please i need to know your okay. i know i messed up but i need you.

you- im fine jackman.

you turned your phone on dnd and laid down and started to watch childhood shows.

there was a knock at the front door, you took the blanket off yourself and went up to look out the window.

there was no one but flowers on the floor.

you huffed and went to get the flowers already knowing who sent them.

you put the flowers in a empty vase and read the note.

“y/n, i love you so much you dont even know. im so sorry for all the pain i’ve caused you, i just want you to forgive me. i’ll change my ways all the way, i want you to be happy and i haven’t been making you happy its my fault, instead of talking things out with you i go see other women and leave you alone to sleep by yourself, i’ll see you soon though my love♥️”

you kissed the note and brought it to your bedroom and put it on your nightstand.

you took your phone off dnd and called jack.

jack answered on the first ring and you immediately heard a sniffle when he answered.

“jack baby are you crying?”

“no.”

“jack baby face time me.”

jack pressed the face time button after wiping his face trying to look as presentable as possible.

you answered and could immediately tell he had been crying.

“jack babe, dont cry. i love you so much you’re stuck with me. you just have to stop acting the way you are, its hurting me really bad and its pushing me from you.”

“i promise to stop, mamas i need you..”

“ok babe, its not very smart for me to fly back out right now because i just left so maybe in like a week ill come back.”

“what no, come back tomorrow im getting your ticket right now.”

“jack-“

“i already brought it, you’re coming.”

“alright babe..”

“no ones going to get in the way of us anymore, we’re together forever. i love you.”

“forever and always?”

“forever and always, but you need some rest, goodnight my love the flights for 7:30.”

“ok goodnight jackie.”

jack hung up and cuddled with his pillow wishing it was you.

[gettinshiggywithit]

「“ᴍʀ & ᴍʀꜱ”」

Scenario :- “hmmm what about something like being kuni's housewife idk i just want him to come home and eat my meals” ( @diagonal-queen )

Pairing :- kunikida x wife!reader

Genre:- fluff!

Type:- headcannons!

TW:- mentions of sex but no actual nsfw!

A/N :- here’s a little something i did for @diagonal-queen!Hope y’all like it!

Okayyy so you wanna be MRS kunikida huh?

Let’s see what it’ll be like!

First off if you actually make the cut? Congratulations!

You’ve effectively beat out 99.99% of the women population 😭

But no fr if u and Kunikida actually get hitched that means you are his perfect person.

No matter what flaws you have or you think you have,to him it’s all immaterial.

And if you ever get down,remember he chose you!

If you guys get hitched and you wanna be a housewife he’s all for it!

Its very classic, if u know what i mean.

And he kinda likes that at least this one thing could be simple(in his not-at-all-simple life)

Let’s go back to your wedding day shall we?

Okay imagine after a beautiful ceremony yall go back to your room and then have the most romantic night ever.

Just you and him in each other’s company~

After that you move into his apartment and settle down.

Kunikida is a hard working lad so he most probably won’t be around much after your honeymoon.

He goes to work everyday without fail and comes back home to you,also without fail. (Although sometimes he’s a little more scraped up and scarred than usual)

He texts you to see if you’re okay during his breaks and always lets you know when he’s goin on a mission and where.

If he needs to cut communications cos it could interfere with the mission,he tells you and reassures you that everything would be alright

And honestly youre only worried about his and his colleagues safety.

Cos like let’s be real, a relationship with Kunikida would be secure af! Because we all KNOW he would never cheat!

On days where he gets days off he still works at home🥲 (im sorry but buddy NEEDSS to have his stuff in order

But when he’s done he spends his time with you.

Whether it be baking,watching a movie or your favorite show,or just cuddling or vibing,yall are together.

And lemme tell you mans is talll

He’d be the big spoon when cuddling btw!

Oh and on days when he does work he looks forward to coming home to you and unwinding~

Oh and he LOVESS your cooking!

It reminds him of his childhood and it’s just that good.

One time you suggest packing him some lunch for work and he later got sooo much shit from dazai (that bandaged bugget was making kissy faces and shit and jusy not letting mans eat!)

One time dazai sneaks a bite and then he’s like “okay yeah no i get it now”

(buddy takes a bite and says, serious as ever, “Kunikida…this food is truly magnificent! Please tell y/n to make me some on the day before my suicide🥰. He gets promptly whacked on the head☺️)

Oh and this man can COOK

in any instance where youre tired or dont feel like cooking,mans has got it!

Makes a simple yet delicious meal and astounds you~

OH! And imagine for your anniversaries he gives you a card and as you open it he says “doppo poet!” And he turns it into a mini bouquet! (And when i say mini,i mean it.remember guys he can only summon stuff that are smaller than or the size of his notebook!)

Oh and he never forgets important dates😌

He’s a little new to romance but is surprisingly good!

And when it comes to more intimate times, he knows exactly what to do and how to make it enjoyable for the both of you

(ROMANCE AND/OR EROTICA READING KUNIKIDA!!!!)

And in conclusion,

He’d literally be the best husband ever.all parents wish their daughters could marry him

And here you were! Doing just that!

I wish y’all the best frr♥️♥️

Tagging: - @kemis-world @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[legacyshenanigans]

Part 10 (part 2) to my Marvolo x MC series. This is so dramaticcccccc, but I personally love it and enjoyed writing it.😅

Marvolo x MC 💚

The Calm after the Storm 🐍

Little angsty, little fluffy, NSFW, DRAMA.

He sat at the edge of the lake in the Forbidden forest, since MC, it had become his favourite place, he stared out into it, all the times he'd spent there with her, flashes of them together playing on a loop in his mind, Rerek slithered next to him, looking at him, Marvolo turned his head to look back at him giving him a small grin.

Rerek: Urgh.

Marvolo: Heh..What?

Rerek: I see right through that fake grin you just gave me..

Marvolos face dropped slowly back into a thoughtful frown as he looked back towards the lake.

Rerek slithered up onto him, coiling around him like a comforting scarf, giving him a slight squeeze before resting his head on Marvolos shoulder.

Rerek: I've known you since you were a child, Master..You cannot hide such feelings from me..You know what you must do.

Marvolo: I know, Rerek..

Marvolo lifted a hand, giving Rerek a gentle scratch on his head.

Marvolo: *sigh* ...Let's go and see how this works out shall we...

Marvolo approached his home, stepping inside and heading upstairs. He took in a deep breath as he knocked on Ominis's bedroom door, hearing him call out to enter. He walked in, seeing Ominis relaxing sitting on a chair as he looked in the direction of the door before standing.

Marvolo: Its me.

Ominis: Oh, Marvolo.

Marvolo: Listen..Can we talk?

Ominis pulled a curious face, raising a brow.

Ominis: ...About?

Marvolo: About something..Important.

Ominis sat back down on the chair at the small table in his room, and gestured for Marvolo to take the other chair. Marvolo sat, his eyes not leaving Ominis.

Ominis: Father told me you are set to be wed..And that you kicked up a fuss about it..Has it got anything to do with that?

Marvolo: I suppose..In a way..I mean, yes.

Ominis: Well..Go on..Talk to me if you wish..

Marvolo: I shan't be marrying this women..I refuse.

Ominis leaned on the table with intrigue.

Ominis: Interesting...And whys that?

Marvolo sighed, his heart pounding in his chest..

Marvolo: I'm in love Ominis..For the first time in my life..I've found it..And I don't intend for a second to lose it..

Ominis's eyes stared in his brothers direction, he didn't say anything at first, just sat. Marvolo could tell he had something to say, as they simply made eye contact. Ominis spoke out.

Ominis: I've kept quiet..But I need you to be aware..That I know, Marvolo..

Marvolo: (?)....What is it you know?

Ominis: Its MC..

Marvolo froze, staring into the eyes of his younger brother, he didn't know what to say, though, Ominis didn't look angry, he didnt look uncomfortable, he didn't look upset.

Marvolo: ..How long have you known?

Ominis: a while..Though I must admit, love was something I never expected to be on the cards..I thought it was just..Sex.

Marvolo: ...And how did you actually find out?

Ominis let out a small chuckle.

Ominis: Rather uncomfortably..When Sebastian started acting a little weird..So I asked him to tell me what got him acting strange..He told me of the nights the..Three of you..Had spent together.

Marvolo felt slightly uncomfortable for a moment, and even blind Ominis sensed it.

Marvolo: Surprised you didn't instantly try and rip my head off...Or talk to MC.

Ominis: I thought about it..But times past since then, I calmed myself..Dont get me wrong, Sebastian got an earful..And it wasn't until at a later date Sebastian told me he tired to flirt with MC one evening and she turned him down..Thats when I knew something else was happening behind closed doors, you had changed slightly, and so had MC, and I felt that, Marvolo..I'm not stupid..

Marvolo: I love her Ominis..

Ominis: Do you really?

Marvolo: I really do.

Ominis sat for a moment in thought, Before he sighed, leaning forward and putting a hand on Marvolos shoulder, Marvolo looked at his hand, before looking back at him.

Ominis: She is my friend, Marvolo..A good friend..Just..Don't hurt her..Please.

Marvolo: I promise you Ominis...And I'm sorry its taken me so long to tell you..

Ominis stood, as did Marvolo, the two of them facing eachother, Ominis leaned forward and gave his brother a small uncomfortable brotherly hug, which surprised Marvolo, at first he didn't know what to do, then his arms came up and he hugged him back, after a moment the two of them pulled away.

Ominis: I will hold you to your promise..And I wish you luck telling father..You're going to need it..

Marvolo: *sigh* I know...Thank you, Ominis. For taking this so well..I didn't think for a moment that you would..

Ominis: *small chuckle* Life is strange, Marvolo. You being in love has proved that.

Marvolo: *chuckles* ..Very true.

When evening came, Marvolo and MC lay in bed in the private room of The Three Broomsticks. The last time the pair had been in that room was back when they were both confused about their feelings for eachother, they'd come a long way since then. MC lay atop of him, his hands running down her bare back as the two of them made out softly. Marvolo let out a small chuckle as he flipped her around, with him now being ontop of her, he continued the kiss, he tenderly kissed at her jawline, before licking down her neck and to her chest, his hands all over her, the pair of them letting out small desperate noises in this moment.

MC: God's..I love you.

Marvolo: Mmph..I love you too...

He moved himself down the bed, kissing her body as he did so, settling himself between her legs, holding them as he licked at the skin of her inner thigh, making eye contact with her. MC giggled blissfully, which always made him smirk, he brought his head forward, still looking up at her as he took that first lick, MC moaned, her head sinking back into the pillows, Marvolo gave a wicked grin before his tongue pushed up onto her clit, swirling, and flicking against it, his hand coming down, slithering its way to slide a finger inside of her as his mouth continued to pleasure her.

MC: Mmph, fuck, M-Marvolo~

Hearing the way she moaned his name was his favourite noise by far..He furrowed his brows, as he tongue moved faster, as did his finger, rubbing at her sweet spot. MC's hand gripped his hair as she felt that deep build up, letting her sinful moans leave her lips, she thrust her hips up crying out as she released, Marvolo gave her a smooth devilish chuckle of satisfaction, as he took in her essence. His body moved back up to her face, kissing her passionately, MC clung to him once more, her breathing heavy, tasting herself on his tongue. Marvolo brought a hand down to his cock, sliding himself inside of her, he let out a low growl, MC bit her lip, her slit now incredibly sensitive, moaning his name once more, they held eachother as Marvolo rolled his hips against her, their heavy breathing in eachothers ear. He eventually brought his hands down further underneath her, gripping at behind as he bucked faster, the postion now making him hit her deep. MC moaned erratically, clinging to him for dear life, Marvolo himself now letting loud grunts and moans escape him. He felt every inch of his body tingle as he gave a final push, spilling inside of her, a feeling he would never tire of, his head collapsed to her shoulder.

Marvolo: *panting* Mine. *kisses her neck before moving to lay down next to her*

MC: *breathless giggle* Likewise *turns to face him*

He ran a hand over her cheek, giving her a genuine smile.

MC: I'm glad Ominis was OK..About everything, when he spoke to me he seemed surprisingly calm..Having said that, part of him is terrified that you'll hurt me and break my heart. But another part of him believes you won't, after the talk he had with you..

Marvolo: ...I can't blame him, that's my usual nature..But I have never felt love for anyone like I have with you MC..I would never want to hurt you..You know that, right?

MC: I do.

Marvolo: I need you to believe my words..

MC: Truly, Marvolo, I do.

He pulled her in for an embrace. The two of them just lay bare on the bed together.

Marvolo: Good..*sigh* I must leave soon..To tell my father..

MC: I'm scared.

Marvolo: Don't be.

MC: You say that.. But I understand the risk, I understand how your family do things..I know this will not end well..

Marvolo: MC...I adore you, and want to be with you..And that's EXACTLY how its going to be..

MC: *small concerned smile as she holds him tightly*

Once back at his home, with Rerek by his side, Marvolo entered the living room where he knew he'd find his father, Aleister turned and stood, tooking at Marvolo with narrowed eyes.

Aleister: Ready to Apologise?

Marvolo: Pffft, for what?

Aliester: The Drama from the other evening..I hope to god you've come to your senses Marvolo, you're marrying that women.

Marvolo clenched his fists, as Rerek made his way across the room, hissing deeply, his eyes on Aleister, and settling nearby, but ready for action. Ominis heard the start of their conversation from the top of the stairs, and rushed to his room, enchanting a quill to write down his words.

"MC, come to the Manor, I feel you need to be here"

He quickly shoved the letter inside an envelope and let out a whistle near his open window, their family owl coming to collect it

Ominis: Take this to MC..Hurry.

And with that the owl flew off into the night.

Downstairs, Marvolo and his father were still having a stand off.

Marvolo: I'm NOT marrying her father..

Aleister: Why are you making this SO difficult?!

Marvolo: BECAUSE I LOVE ANOTHER!!

Aliester glared at him confused before he let out a wicked laugh.

Aliester: You've never loved another being in your whole DAMN LIFE Marvolo!

Marvolo: Well NOW I have! And I DO! It's her a want to be with! It's HER I love!

Aliester took out his wand, Marvolo quickly doing the same, as they aimed at eachother.

Aliester: *speaks through gritted teeth* ...Who?

Marvolo: *Spits back equally as aggressive* MC...

Aliesters eyes widened, his breathing becoming shakey and heavy.

Aliester: That DIRTY little half breed?!

Marvolo: Yes! The half breed!

Aliester: HOW DARE YOU TRY AND EMBARRASS THIS FAMILY!!! HOW DARE YOU WISH TO TAINT OUR LINEAGE!! *Growls and yells, shooting a spell towards Marvolo*

Marvolo dodged it, quickly yelling out and shooting a spell back at him, Rerek dived out with a hiss at Aliester, but he quickly and aggressively knocked Rerek out of the way, Marvolo gasped before giving his father an utterly furious look, both of them shouting, their bodies smashing into different areas of the room being hit with eachothers magic and the room itself getting destroyed in the process, Ominis came running in, panicked and angry.

Ominis: STOP THIS!!!!!

But Marvolo and their father were too filled with aggression to listen, both of them cut up and bleeding, hissing and hollering, parseltongue coming out in their anger.

Aleister: I CANNOT ALLOW IT MARVOLO, YOU KNOW I CAN'T!!!

Marvolo: ITS NOT FOR YOU TO DECIDE, FATHER!!!

The continued the fight.

Ophelia ran into the room, bewildered and concerned.

Ominis: Mother?! Do something!!

She was in shock at what she was witnessing. Rerek made his way over to Ominis, Ominis felt him at his leg.

Ominis: Rerek?!

Ominis knelt down on the floor next to Rerek, to not take the risk of getting hit with spells which he could hear were flying all over the place.

Ophelia: ALEISTER! MARVOLO! STOP!! STOP AT ONCE!!!!

The two still continued their rampage at eachother..

Aleister landed a hit on Marvolo, making him yell out and his wand flying out of his hand, Aleister had lost it completely, raising his wand for a final time.

Aleister: AVADA KEDAVRA!!!

Ophelia: ALEISTER!!!

Ominis: FATHER!!!

As the green bolt flew towards Marvolo, Rerek quickly dived up in front of him, taking the hit...His lifeless body hitting the floor, the green hue lingering on his scales.

Marvolo: NOOO!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!

Marvolo dropped to his knees, picking up Rereks body, staring at him, his breathing becoming shakey, as a tear rolled down his cheek, and his face twisting into pain. Aleister snapped out of his rage, and gasped, dropping his wand, and shaking.

Aleister: God's..Oh gods!!.. M-Marvolo, I-

Marvolo: *points at his father* NOT ANOTHER FUCKING WORD!!!!

Ophelia ran to Aleister.

Ophelia: Are you out of your mind?!!!!

Aleister: I...I don't..I..

Ominis sat next to Marvolo on the floor, a hand on his shoulder, as Marvolo cradled Rerek in his arms, holding him to his chest, silently crying. MC burst through the front door, seeing the mess in the living room and running in, she gasped at the sight, Aleister shaking in the corner in shock, Ophelia upset and concerned, Ominis and Marvolo on the floor..And Rereks body.

MC: Marvolo..

She ran over and got down next to him, her face looking horrified and devastated as Marvolo cried, whispering in parseltongue to Rereks dead body..Even Ominis's eyes were welling up with tears..She gently reached forwards, taking Rerek from Marvolos arms, he turned to look at her, puffy faced and red eyed with exhausted confusion..MC lay Rerek on the floor in front of her as the Gaunts remained silent, she closed her eyes and held her hands out over Rereks body, her ancient magic seeping from her hands themselves, a stream of blue energy pouring out over him, his body glowing, her nose started to bleed from this intense magic she was attempting to do, her hands shaking, she let out a sharp cry before her magic waned. There was nothing but silence for a moment..

Rereks body twitched slightly, making Marvolo move forward, wide eyed.

Marvolo: Rerek?!

Rerek: *groans* ..Master? What..What happened?

Marvolo grabbed him and held him.

Rerek: Woah..Heh...Ok?

Ominis moved forward and put his hand on Marvolos shoulder again, reaching out and giving Rerek a pet with a grin. MC smiled at them, a tear rolling down her own cheek, before looking over at Ophelia who gave her an understanding and thankful look, Aleister still in shock..

A couple of days passed, MC wandered into the Gardens of the Gaunt Estate, seeing Ominis and Marvolo sat under a tree, with Rerek lay on Marvolos lap. She approached them.

MC: Hey *grins*

Marvolo: *smiles at her*

Ominis: Hello *smiles*

MC: Not that I care..But how's your father?

Marvolo: Pfft. *chuckles*

Ominis: He will unfortunately be ok..Hes still at St Mungos, had some kind of mental break, it was a long time coming though..

MC: That doesn't surprise me..And how are you Rerek? *sweet smile*

Rerek slithered up her, coiling her, giving her a little squeeze, like a hug.

Rerek: Alive, thanks to you. *boops his nose against hers.

MC: *giggles* I'm sure whatever you just said, it was nice..

Ominis: Anyway, come along Rerek, we shall leave you both to it *grins as Rerek slithers onto him and he walks off towards the house*

Marvolo stood, giving her an endearing smile, wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her into him for a tender kiss.

Marvolo: I cannot thank you enough.

MC: *smiles gleefully, wrapping her arms around his neck* You've thanked me plenty these last couple of days.

Marvolo: *smooth chuckle as he tucks her hair behind her ear* It will never be enough..

MC: *plants a kiss on his lips before pulling away* Well..You're welcome..I'm sure to find some way for you to repay me *chuckles*

Marvolo: *smiles* Anything, for my future wife..

~

[psych0-str1ngs]

blunts and tarot - Sam Kiszka x f!reader

Authors Note: Ik they made the tarot video awhile but the vid has come up on my tt fyp so many times and I have yet to write for sam so... Yeah.

Warnings: No smut, weed involved, and cursing

Now, you and Sam have been dating for a while now, 4 years to be exact. He of course knew your involvedness in the occult, he understood that tarot, and other witchy things were almost an esoteric topic. He always showed interest in it, and listened to your little rants about what you had seen in your meditation sessions and such. Of course, he couldn't really understand, but he always tried his best.

He'd sit next to you on the bed, watching your hands shuffle one of your many tarot decks, honestly he just enjoyed having the pleasure of watching you focus. The way your eyebrows furrowed, and the way you bit the inside of your cheek made his bubbly inside. Tonight, he finally asked for a tarot card reading.

"You know babe," Sam started, pausing to take a long drag from the blunt you had rolled. "You should give me a tarot card reading"

You giggled, taking the blunt from his long slightly calloused fingers.

"Finally, the all seeing Sam Kiszka has asked for a reading," You took a puff from the sunshine roll. Of course you weren't gonna admit it, but you always loved that he showed interest and support for your hobbies.

You handed the blunt back to Sam and got off the bed, taking a short few steps to the drawer where you kept your oracle and tarot cards. Eyes scanning the deep drawer, you set your eyes on the perfect deck, smiling you pick up the deck.

You walked back over to the bed, sitting with your legs crossed in front of your boyfriend. He looked at you, eyes half open, skin slightly glowing an orange hue from the candle lit bedroom. Opening the deck of cards, you start shuffling them. He stares at your tiny hands, splitting the deck, and shuffling them together again. You look up for a second, making direct eye contact with Sam, his deep brown eyes glistening with a spark of pure love. You felt your stomach fill with butterflies. You giggled out loud.

"What?" Sam smiled.

"You make me feel like a school girl sometimes," You said leaning over the cards to peck him lightly. He pulled back and smirked.

"I tend to have that affect on women," He laughed.

"Oh yeah," You laughed and rolled your eyes.

You splayed out the cards on the duvet, looking up at Sam.

"Pick a card," You said, taking a drag off of the almost dead blunt.

He leaned forward from his spot on the fluffy pillows. Sam ran his finger tips over each of the cards, carefully considering each card, his hand stopped, picking up a card.

"Do I look at it?" He asked, connecting his eyes with yours again.

"Mhm" you hummed.

the chariot

He stared at the card, not knowing what it meant, "The Chariot?" He said in a questioning manner.

"Ah," You smiled "Basically it means you've reached a good balance, you're extremely successful."

He smiled, putting the card back with the others, gathering the cards into a pile. At some point, you had moved from your position on the bed to go look at the full moon. Sam walked up behind you, wrapping his lanky arms around your waist and setting his head on your shoulder.

"She's so beautiful," You said, looking at the lunar body in the sky.

"Just like you," He mumbled kissing your neck. "I'm hungry"

"Me too," You giggled.

Walking over to the bed you grab the cards, putting them back into the box and putting them back into the door. You blew out the candles and walked out to the kitchen with Sam.

"woah now, we aint cooking," He said

"What, why not?" You turned, eyes drooping, you were too high.

"I dont think either one of us is sober enough to even think about cooking." He flashed a dopey smile "Let's doordash something."

Your eyes widened at the idea. "You are a gift sent from god my love." You kissed his cheek and grabbed your phone out of your pocket. Both of you plopped on the couch, choosing what to eat. Fifty dollars, and 20 minutes in, you had ordered food from about three resteraunts. Sushi, pizza, pasta, everything. You placed the order and set your phone down. Resting your head on Sam's shoulder, you grabbed a blanket and the remote from the coffee table.

You waited for about thirty minutes, and at some point Sam's mouth was dangling open slightly, soft snores escaping past his 'O' shaped lips. You giggled before hearing the doorbell ring. Sam perked up immediately, almost like a dog.

"Is that the food?" He asked, immediately wide awake.

You full on laughed at the fact that he was dead asleep just a second ago. You nodded and opened the door, grabbing the bags of food off of the door step.

THE END

[lungthief]

not even bothering to ask on anon bc this is my calling card but I am DESPERATE to know your shivlisa headcanons

HI im so sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask, i promise i wasn’t ignoring it, i just have a long ass backstory framework i wrote for them lmao, here it is:

- shiv & lisa meet while shiv is in undergrad at yale and lisa is completing her law degree (and TAing one of shiv’s classes probably)

- start to hang out outside of class

- definitely friends, probably mutually attracted to each other at this point (i cant decide whether or not itd make more sense for them to start hooking up while still in college or if they wait until after when theyve reconnected) (shivs definitely at least Aware of the fact that she likes girls if she’s not already fucking them) (i feel like her brothers’ own dabbling in gay shit made her avoid confronting her feelings as much as possible bc she saw the consequences firsthand w/ what happened to roman and probably kendall also) (she’s so determined to not be the fuckup) (but the problem is that she is Very Much attracted to women) (maybe it’s a lady Gaga poker face moment where she goes out and fucks guys and thinks of girls while doing it)

- lisa graduates, goes to DC—shiv is still studying polisci but doesn’t really know what she wants to do

- all she knows is it makes her feel better to at least pretend to care about people and it makes staying out of the business look like her own choice instead of her dad and her brothers actively freezing her out

- shiv graduates, leans toward the left

- this sparks a big argument with her dad re: ATN or politics or something (probably ends up getting belittled by him & her brothers), which makes her decide to fully pursue being a political consultant for dems

- reconnects with lisa while trying to surround herself w/ libs in DC

- she & lisa start hooking up (despite the fact that lisa has a boyfriend) (i imagine this is also around the time kendall introduces shiv to nate so thats happening also)

- neither lisa nor shiv really acknowledge the whole Feelings part of their thing but it is definitely there (more so for shiv than for lisa, which shiv hates bc she hates caring about other people more than they care about her) (she’s Shiv Fucking Roy everyone should be worshipping her)

- meanwhile logan is still pissed at shiv for everything

- things are also not going well with nate, he either suspects or knows she’s cheating on him but she breaks up with him first to get out in front of it (he worships her but he’s also on her level which makes him dangerous anyway she’d rather just have a boyfriend who doesn’t challenge her like that) (she’s also just devoting so much of her time and energy to trying to figure out where she stands with lisa)

- lisa starts talking about getting engaged to the guy she’s seeing, tells shiv they have to break off their thing

- shiv is Heartbroken and jealous but won’t admit it

- she also has no one to fall back on bc she already broke things off with Nate

- so then lets it slip to someone that lisa fucks women (i don’t think she’d talk about their recent relationship, i think shiv would off-handedly allude to them having a relationship in college even if they didn’t “how do you know” “we went to college together. i know from experience” etc etc even if shes completely lying her ass off. this angle looks especially bad for lisa bc the whole TA/student thing)

- lisa’s boyfriend? fiance? catches wind of this, breaks up with lisa over the rumors

- lisa goes to shiv for comfort but shiv is super blasé abt the whole thing bc part of her wanted this to happen

- lisa gets suspicious of how this info even got out and shiv tries to just play it off as DC gossip but then (because shes in love with lisa still a little and wants to believe lisa loves her) is like “well. it’s already out there why not continue this we dont have to say that we’re dating or anything we can just. yknow. stay together” basically proposing they have an actual formal relationship even if it’s not public

- lisa is fucking pissed bc a) shiv just fucked up what was supposed to be Her Marriage and b) is like “is this some fucking ploy to get at your dad???” bc obviously shiv roy daughter of conservative media empire even just rumored to be dating a prominent Black female dem lawyer would be a Big fuck you to logan (i doubt shiv even really considered this angle bc she’s so involved in her own jealousy and feelings for Lisa) and it is a move that would also endear her to the dems and get her more important jobs (which is the whole reason she sought out lisa in dc in the first place even if not the Entire reason)

- shiv has no idea how to even respond to this she did not realize the consequences

- Lisa (rightfully!) tells her off about how she’s self involved and hypocritical for trying to appear empathetic when she doesn’t even think to consider the extent to which shiv’s pettiness would affect lisa as a woman and as a POC in the professional world and how even just associating with shiv makes her look and feel bad because shiv is heir to The Misogynistic Racism Factory

- Shiv Knows She Fucked Up Real Bad and attempts to explain that she did it all bc she loves lisa and she was jealous and lisa is like you are fucking delusional!!!! the two of us together would never work out even if we wanted it to (bc i do think there is part of lisa under all of the pragmatism that would want it to work out) and shiv is a mess at this point bc she hates feeling naive and lisa is basically confirming that she never was as In It as shiv was

- Shiv (miserable) is probably like “im sorry im sorry I’ll take care of it I’ll get PR to deal with it i just don’t want to lose you please let’s be friends let’s just put this all behind us okay” and lisa is like no actually I want nothing to fucking do with you you made a big fucking mess and now i have to clean it up

- And this whole fight and cutting lisa off is what Shiv becoming the mess that she and Tom reference later on and what eventually leads her to dating him

[cyeayt]

being autistic in the mormon church

being autistic in the mormon church was, for me at least, a weird experience. because i wasn't excluded or mocked very often, just smothered in that strange warm beige obligation. because they could tell, they knew i was different just like i did. so they held my hand, told the other children to be nice to me, to make sure i felt included. and my peers did, cause they didn't have a choice, raised to be polite and kind no matter what just like i was. so i was included and invited places, always as an afterthought or a checked box but invited nonetheless, injected into conversations and games by adults that my peers wouldn't dare contradict. 'well meaning' adults who ask me if im okay or if i want to join the group, talking down in the sweetest tones. every christmas and on every birthday they still track me down to give me a card about how much they miss my 'unique perspective', even though i always tried my hardest to fit in and say the normal things.

"Look at that one. it's different and broken, but you must be kind to it. help it stay in the light of god, because god is the only way to save it. we're good, and righteous, and its so lucky to be in the church because we're the only ones who'll ever tolerate it, because that's what god wants."

and i miss it sometimes. standing on the edge of people who i desperately want to be friends with, flitting around in the back of stores and staring at concert posters indecisively until the date has passed. never finding the right spot in a conversation to talk, never working up the courage to ask if i can come too, i miss the people who had to be nice. who had me on a little list in their mind of what they need to get to heaven.

but im never going back. because even i could feel that it was fake. i felt watched and judged and pitied at all times, by peers who would ask me if i was coming then talk amongst themselves about jokes i didnt get and shared friends i didnt know. and i may be lonely now, but id rather do the work and be awkward and sick with nerves and find people and spaces that i actually want to be in who actually want me to be there, even if it seems impossible now. id rather that than go back to that warm suffocating place, familiar like the worst kind of family.

also telling that all the adults im talking about are either women/afab people or members of the bishopric, people whose 'job' it is to be welcoming and nurturing, though these experiences are mostly from young womens so that would also be it, but even women who arent involved in the yw leadership are raised and taught and obligated to do this and i dont blame any of them but its always made me wildly uncomfortable. never as much as random men who would sit down next to me and just start talking like we knew each other tho so eh

[plounce]

I don't know anything about X-Men but I've been playing Marvel snap recently and it's v funny to me to check the steam discussion and the top thread is someone saying cyclops was done dirty (2 b fair he's kind of a bad card 😒) and suggesting alternate powers for him that are. Completely overpowered lol

(also side note but most of the X-Men are pretty mid tbh, tho beast is extremely good and I love him)

it's so insanely and hilariously fucked up to me that BEAST is the best xmen card. this is anti-mutant bias within marvel snap. i know we're past the 2010s when marvel was trying desperately to make all their other teams more popular than the xmen bc they dont own the x-movie rights but my conspiracy brain is stroking its chin and humming suspiciously.

anyway SO FUNNY that the beast card is the best xmen card. beast is:

1. one of the xmen who has been an avenger (🤢). like when wolverine is an avenger we roll our eyes because 1. he's pretty apolitical wrt mutant politics 2. it was marvel using one of their most popular characters to prop up avengers sales (bc pre the last 15 years nobody gave a FUUUUCK about the avengers). but HANK? okay chump go join the cops with wanda and pietro

2. one of the xmen who is a war criminal BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY PUSSY OR SWAG TO JUSTIFY HIM BEING A WAR CRIMINAL like yeah jean blew up that planet of broccoli people when she was dark phoenix. WHO CARE. she has PUSSY. beast... beast has zero pussy hes like if winston from overwatch sucked. hes currently doing crazy war crimes as the head of xforce (mutant cia black ops squad) and even JEAN was like "hey dude... maybe... you shouldnt have bombed the fuck out of that central american country... not a good look" HES THE CIA INCARNATE HE SUCKS!!

3. he is THEEEE most militant follower of xavierism of the main xmen like he LOOOOOVES to be a self-hating assimilationist it's so pathetic. hes one of those centrist libs who has zero spine.

4. hes like "women dont like me because im a blue furry guy" (note that he has never dated any mutant women... weird...) MEANWHILE NIGHTCRAWLER (blue furry guy) IS DROOOOOWNINGGGGGG IN PUSSY!!!!! NIGHTCRAWLER IS LIKE SCROOGE MCDUCK BUT INSTEAD OF COINS IT'S PUSSYYYYYYYYYY.

5. right before the current krakoa era he was doing so many war crimes and unethical experiments and bad shit that the anniversary special issue of uncanny xmen (#600 iirc) was all about him waking up in the middle of the night and The Watcher standing over his bed and showing him all these beautiful alternate realities of the xmen and all their potential happiness (all done by different artists - just gorgeous stuff) and then the issue ends with the watcher going "and because YOU have fucked up SO MUCH... NONE OF THESE REALITIES EXIST ANYMORE. like THE WATCHER felt he needed to say something. the guy whose WHOLE THING is NOT INTERFERING is like "i have GOT to say something to this dude because he sucks SOOOOO MUCH."

i assume this is not what you were asking for when you dropped this ask in my inbox but tbh i don't even know what you wanted from me so this is what you are getting: MY THOUGHTS.

[hypergamiss]

So I just went to see this guy I've been talking to for over a year now long distance. I went alone, payed for everything the hotel, and flight and all and it didn't go well at all. The guy and I have been having communication issues, I have felt that being long distance that we are he should call, face time me more but he kept telling me to go visit him and how he would not put in effort to talk to me if I was not coming or booked a flight. So I booked a flight to see him feeling pressured because he told me he wasnt ever going to see or talk to me again and that he would block me....I expressed many times how anxious I was and overwhelmed with all of this but he assured me it would be okay and that we wouldnt just hookup, we would do other things and not just drink...so when i got there he was working and told me to continue to message him so that he knew i wasnt going out and meeting other guys so I did but still had a dating app downloaded on my phone as I am keeping my options open because the situaton with him has been hard and hes not my boyfriend...anyway so while hes at work he tells me to get dressed up and ready to go out because we were going to go out for drinks and dinner. So I got all ready he came and brought the alcohol which I was confused about because I thought we were going out, he then said we were going to drink first then get dinner and i suggested sushi which we was down for so we drank the hotel tequila with a chaser and I ended up getting pretty drunk fast...All I remember after that was walking to get sushi and in the restaurant he asks me to pay and i was like ok..so then they try charging my card and it declines so then he pays but then asks if i can cash app him...the rest of the night was a blur and woke up with throw up all over the bed, he had left and I tried reaching out to him to discover I had been blocked. I was so anxious because he told me how he wouldnt leave me, how i didnt want to drink alot especially not get blacked out but did...i tried calling him from private number and he finally unblocks me and messages me and goes "listen. I blocked you because you were talking to other men, thats so dirty, you were even trying to meet someone down here, i saw the dating app, the messages, i cant trust you, you really came here to hoe out, bye for good" then blocks me...im just so hurt he not only looked though my phone when i was drunk but sent himself money for the sushi while i payed for everything to go see him and waking up naked not remembering anything....The very reason I even had a dating app and was talking to other guys is because he doesnt treat me right and so i especially dont trust him...i could have died being blacked out

I’m assuming you sent this because you needed to vent and get this off your chest. You should know that this is more your fault than his. If you want to be treated better and respected by men, you have to start being accountable for your own actions and not have a victim mentality. It’s easy for women to say “he should do this and act like that and treat me like this” when they should’ve realized that they shouldn’t be giving their time to men who don’t deserve it to begin with. Women in general need to stop choosing to fix men or fantasize about their potential and how they have this non existent ability to change for them. When you meet a man you need to take him for who he is. He was not willing to put any effort to begin with and you should’ve accepted that and moved on to someone who is more than willing to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. YOU put your own safety at risk for flying out to meet someone who was clear about not caring one bit about you. And YOU wasted your own money and time as well. Please take care of yourself, prioritize yourself, and be selfish with your time. If a man wants to meet with you he can fly out to you and use his time and money because YOU are the prize, not him. You shouldn’t feel pressured to see him because “he was going to block you.” You should’ve blocked him even before he said that. He has no right to go through a phone he isn’t paying the bill for and dictating wether you meet with other men or not. Please take the time to love yourself and become absolutely obsessed with yourself. When vetting men imagine that you are vetting them for someone you deeply care about. Act like your playing matchmaker for your sister that you absolutely adore or a best friend for example. Would you match her with someone who doesn’t care for her or disrespects her? Absolutely not. You need to enforce those same standards for yourself. Get out of that scarcity mindset and cut these men off as soon as you know they are unworthy. Learn to detach and don’t even bother forming an attachment to those who don’t deserve it. Trust me when I say there is literally plenty of men in this world. Every single one of them will test your boundaries, even the good ones. It’s up to YOU to love yourself enough to enforce them.

[punkrocker56]

how can it be

its a dark way down I miss talking to you I have so many things I wanna say but I'm scared if I come face to face with you I'm gonna come up blank and not know what to say which usally happens I was safe in n your arms for a very short time what am I just a quick fix when ur mad at your gf I have nothing to believe but I guess that's what I was to you but the next time I see u I'm gonna treat you the way u treated me because I'm not some toy you can play with and discard after you get u get ur fix u left me traumatized with bruises and made me wet there seat of your damn car now all I feel is doubt you tasted to good. to be true cutting you off was the hardest thing I ever had to. do I get so nervous at work that im gonna run Into you because not only did u find my place of work but u know where I fucken live just like Ozzy and Anthony and susie and Jonathan and David and seako i just don't want my nightmare to become a reality where you come into my work or u drive by my house or I see u in town and I am forced to have a conversation with you and be a asshole because I'm unsure of what to say. I fucken hate you for everything you did but I also hate that you used my heart and feelings like a fucken toy and. you got me comfortable enough ti trust you you make me feel safe and loved for a hour and then poof your gone without notice your a stupid boy who plays stupid games u guess u play stupid games win stupid prizes I just don't wanna face you or see u every again but it seems like that isn't a option because I work at one of our hangouts and one of the popular places to shop I just. hope that if u by chance come into my job I'm. not there because I don't think I could mentally keep it together enough to hold down a conversation with. u anymore unless its you apologizing for how dirty you did me and made me feel so low and useless and no good and unloveable u made me feel the lowest of the low I wish it wasn't true but it is and now I'm living with the scars and consequences because of your stupid actions and your dumb mistakes I didn't do shit to u you even shotgunned kissed me who the fuck dose that who shares a cigarette and a bong with someone there gonna dispose of like trash excuses are like assholes and your full of them don't pull that fucken card you can't get off from doing what you did to me I got u off the night before just laying topless on. face time my heart is closed till further notice don't ever tear me apart and don't talk to me unless your ready to be a man and own up that discarding women like trash once you've had your fun is so awful you have no respect or morality for anyone if u do that and dont ever coax me into falling g. for your dirty trap your so sick and twisted and cruel that y u should not be dating anyone if ur gonna disrespect them some people never change and sone things are meant to be left in a box forever here's to starting over

[babybulbasaur920]

i need to see more black ladies

wow ive posted three times in an hour. i feel like the online equivelant to "she just wont shut up!". anyways is it just me or like 90% of like black women on social media is stereotyped stuff? like partys or dating stuff? i wanna see black women doing like white girl type shit. like wheres my black girls looking country cute at the apple orchard with a to-go cup of hot cidar? wheres the black girl witchy posts with crystals or tarot cards? or doing book toks? im not totally sure im this is racist or not, im white myself so i feel this might be racist but i feel most, like types of media that has girls who black or other races are pretty stereotyped. i dont mean to offend or anything, we dont talk much about stuff like race or gender equality at home or my school so im not sure how to frame this whole thing. by that i mean if this sounds racist, let me know in the comments

[thegardenoflights]

Hello again Jemma !! I hope you're doing wonderful!! can i know about my future spouse traits and how are we gonna meet and when? and oh soo whre he from if you dont mind . im shoo soryy if im asking too many question but it got me so curious . jahaha have a wonderfull day♡

Hello! I’ve pulled some cards for How, When and Where, and what their traits are. :) just a disclaimer that this is just the current energy i am picking up on and nothing is set in stone.

So for how you are going to meet this person, I have pulled The High Priestess in Reverse. I would say that there is going to be a situation in which you feel very out of your element. There’s this sense that you are lost and confused when meeting this person. You could be meeting them in a strange, unfamiliar place . It’s a very untypical read to get for someone finding their future spouse, so the way I would interpret this is that when you first meet this person, you are unsure of them, you are unsure of the situation or you might be going through a period in your life where you feel the most unsure of your life path.

But one thing for sure is that this person is going to intrigue you because you can’t figure them out. I almost see this as anonymous online dating or something along that line.

For When, I see that this person might not come around until later down the track for me the time i’m getting is eight years. again, this is not set in stone. But from what i’m getting is that you will need to go through some more of this life before you reach your destined partner.

I see he is from a place that might have been going through some very difficult political hardships, but when he meets you, these hardships will be well behind the country/city he is from. He could live by a river or by water, and the place he is from may have turbulent and windy weather. i’m getting a cooler environment.

From this persons traits, I am getting that this person is a lot more feminine than other guys, he is someone who values beautiful things and like to put effort into their appearance. They will be very up to date with culture, very creative, confident and quite rich and sophisticated. But they also might have a sense of being a homebody, they like to make their space look PERFECT but can be messy. I can see them being very silly, they may like silly things and may have a humorous childish side to them. They always like to try new things, but will keep a hold of these things. I can see them being a hoarder. They have a natural effortlessness about them, like a gentlemanly grace and a natural respect for women. but they also do not think before they speak. A lot of things are important to them, and they get very fired up about things that matter to them, but they may find it hard to relate to other people if they don’t have that same fire.

i hope this all resonates well with you. this person seems like a charming person overall!

[laughingue]

why do i want my boyfriend to cheat on me? It’s not out of some weird desire to get out of the relationship and not be at fault. its not because i feel like im emotionally cheating on him. maybe its because it would explain why hes such a weird boyfriend, like sometimes hes really supportive, albeit in his unhelpful way, but like I support him so much. i give him encouragement, insight, i indulge in his bitching about the various ppl he knows. and yet whenever i need support its always, “idk what u want me to say” or “ i wish i could help you right now” when the only thing ive asked of him up until recently is emotional support. agreement even just to indulge. i feel as tho it would maybe explain the constant cheating allegations hes thrown at me over the 2 years weve been together. the way he constantly talks about his exes, both good and bad. the way he uses the “emotional abuse” he suffered at the hands of his most recent ex as a bargaining chip for sympathy. yet not only does he discount the actual real cases of physical or emotional abuse thrown at women in the workplace or in domestic settings, HES ADMITTED HE WAS JUST AS BAD AS HIS EX.

hes said that it was a toxic relationship, that he shouldve left it a long time ago. that it was bad for both of them, and hadnt it have been for the recent cheating scandal, revealed by his mormon childhood friend, he wouldve maybe been left to dig deeper into why that relationship was so bad.

Maybe i just feel blamed, for her cheating because he never got closure. for their bad relationship. for the guilt he potentially feels for agreeing to date me so soon after they broke up. Maybe he still had feelings for her, and he feels guilty. so he blames me.

I think he’s an okay boyfriend. I love him i think

he has a good job now, after encouragement from me to go back to school, encouragement to start applications, encouragment do his best and take it seriously. hes still, inexplicably paying off his credit card debt. which had apparently stayed below 3k for over a year.

I used to pay for everything and he complains about buying me dinner.

i dont know what i want. this didnt help.