#i just....idk I'm so extremely angry and sad all the time

[just-a-hopeless-wanderer]

I hate that I actually genuinely have pretty extreme underlying amounts of mental illness. I just want to be normal and not even necessarily happy but just better than I'm doing now

[moe-broey]

HEARTBREAKING

Worst Dad You Know Has an Extremely Endearing (Now) Reoccurring Character Trait

For further context: this whole FB involved Sharena and Henriette seeking out lockpickers in the Order of Heroes to open this VERY SECURELY locked box from Gustav's room that took Tina's special staff to finally crack open (or rather -- "steal" the contents out of. No one could actually break the lock!)

And the first instance of this!

It makes me wonder if he saved anything related to Sharena..........

[ilovecoffeeandchemistry]

ooooh i woke up in a bad mood and it's so hard not to be a bitch about it

[doctapuella]

christ i really need irl friends because i cannot keep living like this

[radioactive-cloud]

i'm actually absolutely and completely okay as long as i don't let a single thought appear in my brain

[m1ssunderstanding]

Let it Be Close-watch

Paul, sweety, it's beautiful, but it's killing the vibe.

Ringo looks like a very old, very tired lab rat whose been put through the maze a few too many times

Somehow the air-brown mostly eaten apple is very appropriate.

She looks far too sweet here to ever let John down. Yoko has very kind eyes.

I love how it makes it seem like Paul and John are calling Maxwell “the corny one” but really we know from Get Back that they're talking about a particular arrangement they were trying out for Don't Let me Down.

I swear he's saying “John” there, not “Joan” and also he said “came down upon His head” so… Oh! And Max died in the end in this version? “Sure that Max was dead” Okay. So Paul kills John and then himself. Murder suicide story. Yeah, Paul, you're doing great mentally, we can all tell.

I love how George getting electrocuted was important enough to make the cut for both films. Poor baby. “If this boy dies you're gonna cop it” from the guy who was just singing about a serial killer.

They're so silly

Yoko does not agree with me

Paul: stealing your man, sweetheart. John: oh no I'm being stolen teehee!

They're so silly

Oh wait, were those bitchy looks at George??? Because there he is. Idk could easily be him or Yoko.

this poor autistic baby trying to use words (not his language) to explain music (his language)

“Good MoOornin! Wooah!” I think I just … You know how Mike said people were booing Paul in the theater watching this? Yeah it's because they were pissed he didn't step out of the screen and onto their necks.

Oh Michael put himself in his own movie too? Huh, cool.

They are always in my heart

The way Paul says “get on the mic” to John??? I would've thrown something, that was so fucking bossy! Just his tone and his face and his angry pointing fingers. So mean. And John just goes “okaaay”. Oof.

Ringo covering his eyes like a little kid watching a scary movie during the orange sweater fight. Same, babe.

Sounds like the original lyric John's going for is something long “All I want is you. Nothing else is gonna do.” But that obviously didn't fit with the tune. I wonder if there was a particular conversation with Paul being controlling that made the “everything has got to be the way you want it to” line click in.

Oh my gosh! So George is showing I Me Mine to Ringo and Paul and he says the “I don't give a fuck it can go in musical” line before he even plays it. Not after John's making fun of him like he does in Get Back. Nagra reels experts: which one is correct??

George: it's a heavy waltz. Ringo:*claps hands angrily and punches the air to a ¾ beat. I love him, he's like the core of “Beatle humor” to me.

Woah there! Okay this is the John/Yoko pda Peter Jackson cut, I see. I wonder if there's a lot more footage of them swapping spit that might make the “oh John was just so in love” theory more reasonable.

It's extremely impressive that George just wrote this whole thing last night. You know? John and Paul have brought in all fragments from what I can tell. He's the only one to come in with a basically finished product.

LMAO and we're just going to Apple now. No reason. Nothing happened. Nothing to see. Moving on.

Ringo is so so cute pretending to hide from the cameras. Really he should've been the cute one.

Is it just me or does Paul drop the sillies and get sad when he sings “always be mine” at John? It's his regular voice, too, for a minute, if I'm not mistaken.

Silly cuties. But John's grin and little sexy tongue action happens the second time Paul sings always be mine, so…

What friendly artistic collaboration looks like when it's not psychosexual

Paul: have you played the dubs? George: yeah. Terrible. Paul: Great! Ringo: terrible. John: laughs Paul: (sarcastic) oh, so dreadful. …. John: where's my guitar? Paul: (still sarcastic) well we're just the greatest band ever. Idk I just like this dialogue. It's very them, you know?

This is adorable.

But I also love how they're already communicating with eyebrows, you know? They just bonded so fast and I find that beautiful.

And then Heather ups their game from taking turns going “chchchchch” into the mic to meowing into the mic. She looks at Paul like “okay your turn” and he sets her down lol he's thinking ‘if I meow into the mic right now after John already had a sex dream last night about me, he might actually cream his pants and we can't have that on camera’

Lol Billy just magically appeared!

Paul you're literally so annoying. You started the goofing off and now you're like “alright lads, that's enough.” Mkay.

He is unbelievably sexy and talented though so you know he does have those little things going for him. Someone write me a Paul/Billy fic please!!

Kinda crazy how they all four just slide straight from “Kansas City” to “Miss Ann” to “Lawdy Miss Claudy”. Makes me think of something they might've done in Hamburg.

I'm sorry but Paul finishes “please don't excite me baby. I'm down in misery.” And John's immediate answer is, “well you can get it if you want it, and if you want it you can get it!” And Paul ends up singing “I want it I want it I want it I want it”. Nice. Very subtle, boys. And that's before John gets kinky.

I love how Heather just forces a hug from George and then immediately runs away. What a cutie.

But really. How did anyone watching this get the idea that John hated Paul? Just confirmation bias I guess?

All the cut off conversations kill me but especially the one where John's working though Paul's anxieties. They're just in the middle of it and then cut. “two of us Sunday driving…”

Someone should do a study of whistling in their songs. I feel like it's another one of their tip offs that “hey this one is about us” Anyway I love John's whistling here. He's so good at it. I can just imagine him as some farm boy picking apples, you know?

Imagine booing this poor stay puppy though, like. What? I mean, what if Johann Weiner was wrong and John wasn't crying at the sight of him and Paul playing triumphant together on the rooftop, but at Paul playing his little heart out about their doomed love. Idk it's probably both. Let's be real, John was bawling through the whole thing.

What is George laughing at? Picture quality is garbage because evil corporations don't let you take screenshots of their content, but he looks like that one kid in your elementary school class that just dumped Cheetos all over his crushes desk and thinks he's a criminal mastermind.

Also I do appreciate all the attention given in the chosen shots to the musicianship. I bet they liked that at least if they had the heart to like anything about the movie at the time.

I'm sorry but I love how in sync Mo and Paul are. With this ducking and later the shimmying. I know it's wrong to ship Ringo’s wife with one of the Beatles she didn't sleep with, but… idk I really want her to have bedded all four at one point, you know? She deserves it, being an og.

Okay but yeah I'd be having a public meltdown if I fumbled that too holy fucking shit

Ringo feeling himself as he should

George just looks like he smells nice. Unlike the others. You know?

John has such a beautiful smile. If somebody looked at me like that I'd put him up on a giant screen behind me on my world tour after he'd been dead for forty years too.

That pleeeaaaheeeaaase though. Looking at Paul. How did he survive I'll never know.

The cut from screaming Paul to grouchy nap lady is extremely painful.

John was so cool in this concert. Like the epitome of cool.

Kevin, my love, thank you for your service

I love Yoko leaning so far and craning her neck. She's like a mom at a school talent show. Like “I only came to see my baby.” Type vibe. Which is exactly what she's doing, unlike Mo, and honestly I find both of them extremely valid

You know in movies where the romantic leads are never looking at each other at the same time?

I think I watched George and John switching back on their amps like fifty times because I just love it so much. And from this angle, you can see John's saying something to Paul about it. He looks serious and he's shaking his head. I wonder what he's saying.

Mal Evans I love you forever for this. Look at his hand on the rail, just blocking them off completely, so protective.

Them turning to each other at the end always gets me. It's automatic, like second nature, and it's the last time ever. They deserved better.

Oh Darling duet in the credits are you fucking kidding me??? Was that in the original? “Believe me, when I tell you.” “Oh I do.” That's the second time that they gave away in this footage that they know they're talking to each other in their music.

Alright, that's it, I guess. And then MLH is haunted by this experience for forty years until he makes Two of Us to purge the demons.

[fun-k-board]

AAAA YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!! :3333 could I maybe request CG Storm and CG Rogue? Maybe them and a little reader who’s a bit on the fussy/ tantrum-y side?

Thank you!!!!! ^^ (u probably know who this is but I’m too scared to come off anon 😭)

X-MEN '97 - Little reader who's fussy and tends to have tantrums

SFW INTERACTION ONLY!! AGE REGRESSION IS NOT A KINK!!

Note(s): HEHHE I KNOW!! It's alright tbh I'm terrified of coming off anon too (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

Powered through writing this because you're cool as hell and I like you! 💪 I don't and didn't really have the most idk 'attentive' family, so I'm not the best judge on how to take care of kids or people in a kids mindset, I may be a little bad at writing for caregivers and age regression in general because of this.

ANNA MARIE DARKHÖLME / ROGUE

'Hey, hey now sugah, let's calm down, you don't want to go in time out and I don't want to send ya. Explain to me why you don't like the food, I'm perfectly alright gettin' you somethin' different, there ain't no need to get upset.'

Anna can sometimes tell when you're about to have a tantrum or become more fussy than usual, even if you tend to take a while to throw a full fit, she'll watch you carefully and try to prevent one from fully forming. Gently kissing you on the forehead and brushing back your hair, asking what's wrong with a worried look on her face.

The moment you start yelling, kicking, or even crying, maybe after ignoring her question, she finds it hard not to just fold and give you what you want, after all, you're just so cute. However, her sense of responsibility and care for you overwhelms her need to coddle you.

Anna will say your name firmly, getting you to pay attention to her, and only her. She'll get a tissue for you and wipe your tears away, and ask firmly what you're sad or angry about and if you could possibly explain it to her.

If you can't verbally, for whatever reason, she'll give you the opportunity to write it on paper or she'll play a guessing game with you, the guessing game is only for when you're extremely upset and need cheering up though.

If you explain, in whatever format you need to, that you're upset because of an issue that's causing you distress, maybe food triggered sensory issues, someone was mean to you, etc, then she'll let you off the hook because you clearly didn't mean to cause any harm and you were just acting out.

Rogue will give you a bit of a talking to, telling you that crying and throwing things makes it difficult to help, but that's about it. Given it's not your fault she isn't actually too mad, she just wants you to understand that she won't know how to help if you're kicking and screaming.

If, however, your outburst was because of a silly reason, say you don't like the colour crayons and you throw them at her, she won't be as quick to accept it and move on.

She's still very sympathetic and won't ever raise her voice at you, even when you've done something especially terrible for no apparent reason.

Anna is very lenient and her 'punishments' usually just include a minute or so sitting in the corner, maybe withholding drawing from you for the day, but she always makes sure to explain in detail why you're being punished and it's usually only a last resort.

Rogue is very sweet even when she's being stern, her eyes can't help but go soft and her tone slips from that firm scolding one she uses when you're being bad, to a sweet almost coo-like baby voice.

Afterwards she comforts you like there's no tomorrow, telling you that she didn't want to hurt your feelings by taking away something or sending you to the corner, but you just need to learn some manners and how to handle yourself.

If you're fussy in terms of only liking clothes of a certain colour, food cut or made in a certain way, or things being done in a particular order, she absolutely doesn't mind doing these things for you! When it comes to cooking Rogue tends to ask for Gambit's help, she's not the worst cook in the world, but she can't do it like Remy can.

When it comes to removing parts of food, maybe you like to remove the crusts of bread and have them separate or not at all, she'll happily cut them off for you and maybe even eat the crusts while talking to you.

Sometimes she matches clothes with you! After all, 'If you like these clothes, they must be the best ones they got!' She says with a grin.

ORORO MUNROE / STORM

'My child, it's important to remember your manners when speaking to those around you. I am not angry, but you must tell me what is wrong if I am to correct my mistake or you are able to grow.'

The moment she notices you starting to throw a tantrum, which is fairly fast even if your signs are just a deep frown, asking you if everythings alright and most of the time avoiding any tantrums before they begin.

However, sometimes you refuse to tell her what's wrong, perhaps you go straight to throwing toys or food, pouting, yelling, in replying she will simply hold a gentle hand on your shoulder and kindly repeat her question on what the matter is. Her tone is gentle and her face is one of genuine concern.

Like Rogue, if you're in distress because of something that's not your fault, or maybe you're just overwhelmed, she will never hold it against you at all. If you're comfortable with it and it's something you need to calm down, Storm will pick you up and give you a tight hug, if not, she's alright with just holding a hand on your shoulder, or even removing her hand and only speaking to you.

Ororo will get on one knee, bending down to speak to you in a hushed whisper, she'll tell you that it's all okay, that she'll help you and make it better, give you different food, turn off the lights, whatever you need, she can give it to you.

However, if you're just being fussy to perhaps get a reaction out of her, she'll raise her brow in an almost amused action, as if she finds your attempts to be aggravating as cute as a cat nibbling on its owner's hand. If you're throwing a fit just to throw one, she will definitely tell you sternly that you cannot do such things, at least not in her care.

I don't think that Storm is the type to use the corner or naughty step as a punishment, after all, she has her own fear of tight, dark places, you may fear loneliness, or abandonment, she does not wish her own troubles onto a mind like yours.

Instead, she talks to you, more importantly, she'll help you figure out what you did wrong, how to improve next time, and reflect on her own actions to see if the trouble was caused by a mistake on her part. It won't be an in depth conversation, she tends to use stuffed animals as an aid to show you an outsiders perspective.

If you're struggling with saying your words out loud, never fear, she has tons of paper and crayons, or pencils, pen, markers, etc if that's what you prefer, just for you! She keeps them in her room for whenever you regress and want to keep near her when doing so.

Ororo will advise you to draw your feelings, maybe even write a letter if that's more what you're comfortable with. She doesn't mind bad spelling or handwriting, she's quite good at deciphering even the most atrociously unintelligible handwriting.

At most, and only if you've been really bad, she'll lead you to your room, or hers, just to make sure you don't get embarrassed and act out further. Storm will tell you what you did wrong as firmly as she can so that you'll understand. It's only a light scolding though, she never ever raises her voice when you're around unless you need or want her to.

If she ever does raise her voice and it startles or frightens you, she will apologise, regardless of if you've done something wrong or not. It's never her intention to harm you, you've entrusted her to care for you and she will do anything in her power to achieve that goal.

If your fussiness is about certain clothes, textures, toys, etc, she absolutely doesn't mind exclusively getting you certain clothes or toys, and she won't be angry at all if you throw a tantrum over texture or taste, because she's fully aware it can be distressing to have an unfavourable texture of clothing of food.

Ororo will always ask questions about something before she gets it for you, after a while she knows pretty much all of your likes and dislikes.

She's a great cook and can switch the taste or texture in something with just a flick of her wrist, something she doesn't mind doing, especially if the food she's already making is something that causes a lot of stress.

[livelaughlovelams]

No BC I'm actually so sick and tired of the Von Steuben hate. His portrayal in fanfiction is just atrocious. First of all he deserves so much love and attention oml, second, what made you think he's a monochromatic dirty old man who cares about nothing but sex? What evidence do we even have that he was at all like that!? Have you read his letters, have you read memoirs, have you read accounts of, idk, HIS FRIENDS!? People who actually met him!? Because he does not seem like that at all and the way we portray him is not only stereotypical but extremely disrespectful. Have you ever read a single sentence about him mistreating or over-sexualising his aides? NO!? Yes, he was probably dating a good amount of them. Yes, he was MUCH older than most, but he was a human. He was a human being, not just some throwaway gay general who we get to absolutely exploit in fanfiction, and if you can't take the time, to see that, you shouldn't even write about him. I'll also add that he wasn't some random German who came to America to wave his flag or promote homosexuality or whatever, not only was he VERY crucial in our independence but he had actual trauma, yk? He was DEFINITELY mentally struggling, I'll tell you that, I'd say (almost) as bad as Laurens, even. And I also think some of you guys are forgetting that homosexuality was completely illegal almost everywhere in the 18th century. Neither George Washington nor Ben Franklin cared what this guy and his lovers did behind closed doors, BUT GOOD GOD NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING, EVEN FOR TODAY'S STANDARDS!? For the love of God, you can keep covering Du Ponceau in hickeys, I guess??? BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, DAMMIT!?

I think part of this comes from the rumor that he was "openly" gay, because no... That's... Not how that works. The only people I'd really say are OPENLY gay in the 1700s are MAYBE Frederick the Great and Henry III of Prussia but that's because they literally rule their country and can do whatever they want. Von Steuben wasn't even OPENLY gay in Europe, he was just a queer man who kinda got called out and OUTED, BTW, and fled to America because nowhere else wanted him.

Have any of y'all read the novel "Forge"? It's a sequel to the novel "Chains", and it's GREAT. It's a 4-7th grade novel about two enslaved (teenagers?) in the American Revolution, and it was so good oml. I read it in 5th grade. One thing I noticed is they portrayed Von Steuben GREATLY.

They portrayed him as a kind, good drillmaster WITHOUT mentioning his homosexuality.

The two Von Steuben personalities I see in the media are a hypersexual man whore who wants everyone to know his sexuality, or a monochromatic angry, sad old man who hates everyone

Is this really how America wants to remember their first drillmaster?

:(

[usoppinggg]

(hiiii sorry in advance if this is uhhh hard to understand? im not great at putting it into words lol,,,,)

i saw the post abt re-reading syrup village arc and it made me eager to re-read it myself and like i finished it a few hours ago and. i dont think im ever gonna get over the extremely obvious tones of like. priviledge and how it effects different ppl and how sumtimes it effects how you see other ppl and who your more willing to trust (yes this is in regards to kaya)

BECUASE. AUGH. the slap....... the moment kaya slaps usopp........... after EVERYTHING after he goes to see her day after day and makes her smile and proves again and again all he wants is to see her happy and be her friend and use his lies to weave interesting stories and be remembered. and it doesnt matter because kaya believed kuro (a privileged rich white person like her) over usopp (an under-privileged poc who was widely looked down upon in the community) OUGHHH. OUGHH..... ill never get over it,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i understand she came around in the end BUT THE IMPLICATIONS,,, THE WAY IT ALL GOES DOWN. idk maybe im just insane and projecting but its soooo fuckin. it speaks so much and it makes me just. so sad and angry and i hate her but i love her also (hate that she did that, love her generally lol). anyways i rlly love the syrup village arc it makes me fucking insane and i hope you have an amazing day<333333

Thank you for this because even before that post came on my dash I was thinking about how mad I was that all of Usopp's friends on Syrup were so quick to turn on him!

It's funny though because like, undercover Kuro doesn't even have (his own) privilege. Before his secret came out, Kuro had nothing. He ended up on Syrup with nothing but his fabricated sob story. Any and all privilege he may have had was granted to him by Kaya and her family when they took him in and hired him, and he was able to build his reputation because of that.

His image as a polite, responsible, well-off butler was juxtaposed with Usopp's reputation as a poor, trouble-making orphan. Kuro continued to sew seeds of doubt in Kaya's mind regarding Usopp's bad influence on her, which I think is what ultimately led Kaya to doubt Usopp during that dire moment.

I try to give Kaya the benefit of the doubt when it comes to her betrayal of Usopp because she was young, depressed, and manipulated, but I find it very difficult to do so. We know that Kaya has fond memories of Kuro and they presumably spent a lot of time together as he cared for her. But still, I can't imagine how that relationship could've been more important to her than her relationship with Usopp.

Usopp is her age and (as far as we know) her only friend! He came by day after day to tell her stories to lift her spirits! She was literally worrying herself into sickness, so Usopp's stories prevented her from getting even sicker. She even argued with Kuro when he spoke poorly of Usopp when she wanted him to visit! All of this points to their close friendship, and yet she was so quick to assume the worst of him when Usopp was trying to warn her of Kuro's plan to kill her. She was so angry that she slapped him. It's so unfathomable to me even now, and I remember how upset I was the first time I saw that scene. (She was able to slap Usopp when she thought he lied but was unable to shoot Kuro when her life was in immediate danger. I always found that interesting.)

Ultimately, I know that Kaya initially taking Kuro's side was all for the ~drama~ but as an Usopp stan, I can't help but be upset at her on his behalf. We all know that most of Usopp's "lies" are actually his dreams or are simply stories where he is the main character. He doesn't lie about important things. I think it's safe to assume that Kaya knew this given how long they'd been friends, and yet...........!

I'm sure that having Kaya (and the Veggie Pirates) disbelieve Usopp despite knowing him for so long was set up to contrast the way that Luffy and the others instantly knew what his plan was. But at the surface level, yeah, it just seems like Kaya valued the opinion of her privileged, fair-skinned butler over the words of her poor, dark-skinned friend, and it's so, so upsetting.

You said it well, I love Kaya, but I hate how she treated Usopp in this moment. The Syrup Village arc also makes me Insane so thank you for giving me a chance to ramble about it!

Feel free to hit up my inbox about any other One Piece thoughts, especially when Usopp is involved <3

[vacuously-true]

Acquiring some self esteem between the ages of like 16 and 22 was absolutely extremely good for my mental health but this does not stop me from sometimes wishing I could still believe I'm a piece of shit all the time.

Like it wasn't pleasant. But it was easy. And now that I have a much more realistic view of my accomplishments and positive qualities and value, I get angry a lot more.

It used to be that when I was mistreated or overlooked I would just think, yeah I deserved that, that tracks, they're right. And I was sad all the time but it wasn't deep.

And now when I'm mistreated or overlooked I'm like. HEY! That wasn't right! And I notice when people treat me like shit because I'm a woman or because of my mental illness or because of my nonlinear career path or because I'm queer. Or just because they think they can get away with it.

So instead of being sad I'm angry. And then I feel like I have to DO something about it. Which is probably on the whole healthier than how my brain used to work. But it is more complicated and sometimes I am tired and want to relax back into the easy way of just going along with being mistreated.

But now that I've seen my value I can't unsee it. I can't go back. Which is for the best. But idk I think I should still get to bitch about it every so often. As a treat.

[chickenkurage]

CHAPTER 9..... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH CHAPTER 9, THIS ONE HAS A LOT MORE TO TAKE IN THIS TIME-

FIRST OF ALL WOAH- THEY ACTUALLY REUNITED!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ALAN ACTUALLY FINDING OUT THAT THE OTHERS KNEW ABOUT DJ SO HE ASKED VICTIM ABOUT WHERE DJ IS TO SEE HIM AFTER ALL THIS TIME!!! THIS IS LIKE THEY ALMOST FORMED AN ECLIPSE BY NOT CHASING EACH OTHER NOW AFTER SEEING EACH OTHER, BUT IT WENT BACK TO THAT WHEN ALAN FLEW AWAY FROM DJ, THE AWKWARD MOMENT THEY HAD UNDER TREE DOES SEEM RELATABLE CONSIDERING HOW IT'S BEEN SO LONG TO THE POINT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THE OTHER VIEWS YOU AS, DJ THINKS LOWER OF HIMSELF AND ALAN THINKING HE'S STILL WORTHLESS ALL THIS TIME, MEANWHILE ALAN POSSIBLY STILL THINKS DJ HATES HIM FOR WHAT HE HAS SAID SO LONG AGO AND THINKING WHY HE INTERACTED WITH DJ THAT WAY WHEN HE LEFT, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THESE TWO TALK IT OUT OH MY GOSH- AND YEAH VICTIM UH- YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ALA- NOOGAI AND DJ'S RELATIONSHIP MUCH MORE LATER ON, OR JUST KNOWING THE FULL STORY ABOUT THEM LATER ON IN THE CHAPTERS BECAUSE IT'S SO MUCH TO BARE I'LL SAY- AND OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH SATIN... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE HER ALREADY HONESTLY- I HATE HER VIBES I'M ALREADY HATING WHAT SHE'S SAYING TO DJ AND I HATE HER JUST TOUCHING HIM OUT OF NOWHERE- OH HECK NAH THIS IS DEFINITELY HALO 2.0 FRICK NO- BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO DJ THINKING ABOUT BRINGING BACK HIS FAMILY COULD POSSIBLY MAKE HIM THINK THAT ALAN WILL FIND HIM WORTHY AGAIN FOR ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING- OH DJ.... DJ.... AND NOT THE FLASHBACK WITH DJ TELLING THE STORY ABOUT THE SUN AND MOON BEING SIBLINGS AND THEM LITERALLY ACTING LIKE SIBLINGS BY DJ CLINGING ONTO ALAN, OH GOSH THEY LOOKED SO HAPPY BEFORE WHAT WENT WRONGGGGGGGG- WELL APPARENTLY THE FAMILY WAS KILLED DUE TO RACISM BUT STILL THAT'S EXTREMELY TOO FAR LIKE WHAT THE F*CK??? GEEZ IT REALLY WAS A LOT OF THAT BACK IN THEIR DAYS.... SO THE OTHER DID EVENTUALLY WENT BACK TO THEIR CREATOR WHICH IS A GOOD THING BUT THAT MAKES DJ GO BACK TO HIS OLD ROUTINE BUT WAITING FOR ALAN AFTER HIS VISIT AND STILL THINKING ABOUT SATINS OFFER, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SHE THINKING??? LIKE WHAT- FOR SOME REASON I'M ALREADY IMAGINING HER AS THE CYAN STICK ALAN HAD BEATEN UP A LONG TIME AGO IDK WHY- OKAY BUT ESPECIALLY DJ'S THOUGHTS HERE.... OH MY GOSH THAT'S A LOT OF DARK AND F*CKED UP THOUGHTS- EVEN WHERE BEFORE ALAN FLEW OFF HE WAS ALREADY THINKING A LOT ABOUT WHAT ALAN WOULD DO TO HIM AND ALL!!! LIKE WHY CAN I EVEN IMAGINE DJ THINKING ABOUT KNEELING IN FRONT OF ALAN WITH A SHARP WEAPON LIKE A KNIFE ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WAITS FOR ALAN TO FINISH HIM OFF JUST LIKE THAT- WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GONNA HAPPEN WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

NOW ATG ALAN AND DJ IS REMINDING ME OF THIS AUDIO- "moon tell me if I could, send up my heart to you? So when I die which I must do could it shineeeeee down here with you?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY'RE SICK-

Okay! Let's start Yapping! Yippee!!

There is so many misunderstandings in this chapter, and it's absolutely just...sad. They had each other at arm's length but refused to reach out. DJ did reach out, but Alan wasn't sure on how to react, perhaps in his head he thought DJ was about to punch the living lights out of him and Alan was waiting for that.

Alan was definitely waiting for DJ to burst into anger, that's why he's incredibly quiet, he was waiting for DJ to be angry at him, to hurt him.

Victim most likely would not know right away what Noogai and DJ's deal with each other was, but he might have some theories or some suspicion about them knowing each other or perhaps more than that. As for Satin, Satin is already making a move towards DJ. And her unnerving way of trying to touch DJ, is just utterly disgusting. But she knew she already had him hooked with the promise of revival, the temptation of trying to get who you love back into the land of the living.

And as for the sun and moon, it was utterly just heartbreaking hearing the legend of the Sun and Moon where both of them we're actually siblings and not lovers as some says. And they forever chase each other in the sky.

While the original take on it was, they chase each other for fun, DJ found it sad because forever chasing someone you love is painful for him, that's why he felt incredibly just sad about the story while Alan isn't so interested in it.

Yes, Alan's family was killed by racism, since Alan's wife and his kids are not the same kind as Alan, they were shunned, especially Alan for marrying a different stick than his kind. Because in their time, it is important to note that you can only marry your own kind. (It is almost the same with some religion that they can only marry the person with the same religion)

DJ really does have a pretty fucked up thoughts, and I really can't say anymore to that. The whole fanfic is a pretty heavy baggage for having a summary that is so silly.

DJ has always liked to imagine how Alan would react if he were to die, and he loves doing that to pass time. And I don't know if I should laugh at that or cry.

The quote really does remind me of ATG Alan and DJ, they are honestly sick. That even if I saw doodles of them looking happy, it just makes me sad because that isn't the same thing I'm seeing right now XD - S

[failure-girl-y-kei]

Hi! This blog is a little secret jirai blog of @finn-thefish (will follow and like from there fyi cuz thats how tumblr works) just for things that aren't sunshine and rainbows like on my main

I go by Finny or Failure, whichever you pick i wont be upset. I use mostly it/its pronouns, but any are totally fine, even neos and xenos!

This is basically just a blog for anything that comes to mind, so if you find anything triggering just block me

I feel like its important to mention that I am self-diagnosed auDHD, BPD and (not fully sure cuz there aren't enough resources) NPD traits, so my acts may seem a bit extreme or weird, but that's how I am

Boundaries I'd like to not be crossed:

★ Don't sexualize me, I am a minor!

★ Don't send me pics of fresh self-harm, or vents out of the blue, that's just kinda weird imo

★ Don't threaten me, don't stalk me, don't dox me, all of that stuff

★ Don't sexualize my underage or ace characters, or atleast don't show it to me

DNIs:

★ Basic DNI criteria (homophobes, racists, ect)

★ Proshippers

★ People who sexualize underage characters with an excuse that they "aged them up" (for example, Christopher Pierre) that's weird, doesn't matter if you're a minor or not

★ NSFW/porn/fetish blogs and anti-recovery/pro-ED/pro-SH blogs

★ Any problematic content creator supporter (such as Wilbur Soot, Melanie Martinez and so on)

★ Any blog that's "minors DNI" because if you don't want minors interacting with you, don't interact with minors (like me)!!

★ Any person with controversy about them, I do NOT wanna get controversy about me cuz it makes me feel bad and I feel "bad" as like holy shit I'm gonna kms cuz im worthless

★ Anyone I know irl, sorry man but I don't want anyone seeing what I think on a daily if you're gonna see me irl

interests and socials if anyone wants to contact me ↓↓↓↓

(also dividers by me, free to use even without credit but it is appreciated if you do credit me)

Socials

★ discord: ★F4ILURE_G1RL★ or f4ilure_g1rl

★ tiktok: @f4ilure_g1rl

★ snapchat: finn_fishyblub (i dont use it much tho)

★ spacehey: F4ILURE_G1RL (barely active)

★ instagram: f4ilure_g1rl

Music & Interests

★ music: nirvana, ghost and pals, maretu, some kikuo songs i cant read the names of, project sekai covers of vocaloid songs, oingo boingo, lemon demon, mitski, omori soundtrack, ddlc soundtrack, needy streamer overload soundtrack and those game songs like break my mind and creeper aw man (+ more but i cant rememberr)

★ interests: ghost and pals, project sekai, ddlc, needy streamer overload, fnaf, regretevator, class of '09, omori, biology, astronomy, chemistry and probably more cuz i forget a lot

Post tags

ʚ♡ɞ wilting away ʚ♡ɞ - complaining/sad vent

ʚ♡ɞ a burning ocean ʚ♡ɞ - angry vent/complaining

ʚ♡ɞ ¡shooting stars! ʚ♡ɞ - regular/happy

ⓘ giggling hyena - idk how to tag the post/dumb

ʚ♡ɞ failure's pencil ʚ♡ɞ - doodles

ʚ♡ɞ songs of a broken doll ʚ♡ɞ - yapping about some media

ʚ♡ɞ unburned yet pictures ʚ♡ɞ - pics

࿄ ring ring! ࿄ - asks

🦋🦌 - irl friend (both blogs)

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ - reblogs

Other stuff

★ im jirai, but not rare i have fun with clowncore and stuff

★ pro-recovery!! just not for myself tho :P

★ im bulgarian and often times i think im the only bulgarian jirai (cuz i havent been proven otherwise)

★ very bad at keeping up a conversation and making friends, idk if thats me being aplatonic or just neurodivergent, or both

(some) Userboxes (by @jiraisupportgroup )

[meimeikyu]

Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

---

so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

[seraphtrevs]

i know that this is extremely random, but what do you think the brba/bcs character's love languages would be? imo lalo's love language would be acts of service maybe? idk. i would love to hear your thoughts! you always have such great insights

I actually remember doing this during the Long Hiatus!

Kim's is definitely acts of service. She is angry at Jimmy for switching Chuck's documents...but she's also clearly moved by his gesture. She would have broken up with him otherwise, but it just brings them closer. When they are on a break following the fallout from the commercial, Jimmy calls every day to sing to her answering machine. She's not ready to talk to him yet, but it's important to her that he makes a tangible effort at apologizing and demonstrates his willingness to be patient in a way that makes her laugh. He paints her toenails. He gets the Kettlemans backs for her. He is always doing stuff to show her how much he cares

Jimmy's is definitely words of affirmation. He desperately wants his brother to tell him he's proud of him. He wants people to express amazement at his cleverness. Unfortunately, this is something Kim has a hard time with. She will acts-of-service him all day long, but putting things into words is very difficult for her. This is part of the reason why Jimmy is so less secure in their relationship than Kim is - he's always asking for her to reassure him ("this guy? really?") but she struggles with giving that to him. That's why the office becomes such a huge deal to Jimmy because to him, sharing the office is like her saying "I'm proud to be seen with Jimmy McGill, whom I love"

Chuck values quality time. His whole EHS is an elaborate way to get Jimmy to spend time with him. After the death of his parents and his divorce (and probably the death of Hamlin Sr too), he feels very abandoned. However, he can't ask Jimmy to spend time with him because that would be too vulnerable and humiliating. So his brain made up a way for him to get what he needs from Jimmy without having to say that he loves him - it's just because of the dang EHS, not that he really wants Jimmy there every day

Howard's is acts of service. You can tell because he's constantly trying to do things for other people - he agrees to take the blame for shutting Jimmy out of HHM. He offers Jimmy a job to make up for it later. He pays off Kim's debt. He makes Cheryl a peace latte. It's so important to him for people to accept these acts because he's showing his love and care, but he sadly gets rejected a lot because he misreads which acts of service would be welcome and which are not helpful. No one does acts of service for him. Poor Howie. :(

Nacho wants gifts. In the end, he rejected the ill-gotten gains from the cartel...but I think he never stopped being a material girl at heart. He loves jewelry and nice clothes and expensive cars. Tragically he has to go out and take it for himself, but I think he would react really well to being showered with gifts. Maybe if Lalo put a ring on it, things would have turned out differently.

Lalo values acts of service. Nacho wins him over when he parkours to rescue the drugs from the trap house - the drugs themselves weren't worth a lot, but Nacho's willingness to put himself in danger to impress Lalo works really well on him. Nacho burning down Gus's restaurant really sealed the deal.

Mike definitely needs quality time. Yes, he's working to get money to support Kaylee...but actually, he's getting the money to support Kaylee to make sure that Stacey will still want him around. He doesn't feel worthy of spending quality time with either of them unless he's being a provider, which is very sad because Stacey and Kaylee enjoy time with him no matter what, but he can't see that

Gus also prizes quality time. He visits David for the pleasure of listening to him talk, enjoying basking in the presence of someone who can take the pressure off of him and let him be swept away by the dulcet sounds of neurodivergent infodumping.

[yellows-secret-blog]

Dude if John ends up as just another monster to be defeated and has his whole learning humanity arc thrown in the trash I'm not even going to be angry I'm just gonna be extremely disappointed

It's going to be just sad and I don't say that bc I like and relate to the character but also bc it's such a bad writing choice

Like do I want John to kill everyone? Yeah why not, he deserves that, but like, it should be in a way that doesn't make his character development go to waste, after all killing people IS a very human thing to do, we do it all the time

Idk dude

And if you try to say "Oh but humanity means never doing any bad thing again so killing people would make him a monster!" Fuck you

[love-byers]

🚨CALLING ALL BYLER TRUTHERS THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!!!🚨

i literally have not posted in months because i've been EXTREMELY busy preparing for college, but things have calmed down a bit so i'm making time for some good old byler

now i don't know how many of you were involved in byler twt in august-september of 2022 but there were a couple of huge theories that are still talked about today

the ones i'm gonna be talking about in this post are:

birthday gate

will byers/harry potter parallel

will and mike teaming up in s5 & getting stuck in the upside down

if you don't know what birthday gate is, you've been living under a rock, but to summarize:

in s4 when el is being bullied by angela and the other kids at the skating rink, there's brief clips of the scene through a retro handheld camera with the date in the corner. the date in that scene is march 22nd, 1986.

march 22nd is wills birthday. we know that because in s2 when will is possessed by the mike flayer, joyce attempts to bring him back by asking him if he knows what march 22nd is; his birthday.

that would mean that the day when mike, will, and el go the roller rink is will's birthday—and no body, not even joyce or jonathan, mention it. the duffers said that it was an accident and they haven't watched s2 in years. this is complete horseshit. there are several direct references to s2 in s4, such as max saying "that's presumptuous of you" to lucas just like she did in s2. also,

idk about you but REALLY seems like they're teasing us about his birthday not really being forgotten.

there's several other theories about what this means but the most popular is that vecna has taken the other's memories about will to target him and make him feel like no one cares about him. all of vecna's victims are carrying some sort of trauma, and he can only target them when they're emotionally vulnerable. why is he targeting will? that's a whole nother rabbit hole.

this is where the harry potter theory becomes relevant.

i don't know where the picture is but the duffers posted their inspo board for s4 and there's a shit load of movies and tv shows, including harry potter and the chamber of secrets.

there's a shit ton of parallels that i won't get into, except these:

(all of these harry potter plot points are in both the book and the movie)

in chapter one of chamber of secrets, harry is sad and angry because it's his 12th birthday and no one remembered. the dursley's have never acknowledged his birthday, but he expected ron and hermione, his new best friends, to send him letters like they promised, but they haven't. not only did he get none on his birthday, he's gotten none all summer.

sound familiar?

if birthdaygate is true, this is an obvious parallel. will's birthday was also forgotten and it makes him sad. however, in chamber of secrets, it's revealed by dobby that ron and hermione have been sending letters all summer—but dobby stole them so that harry would think no one liked him and he wouldn't go back to hogwarts. some people think that vecna could be paralleling dobby as he took the others memories of wills birthday. but since i'm a byler loser, i wanna talk about this: there's another theory that mike was actually trying to call will awhile they were apart, but the phone was always on hold because of joyce's telemarketing job. wills thinks mike doesn't care about him, but mike was really trying to reach him the whole time. i made a post about this that's pinned on my account, feel free to read and come back

there was another theory on byler twt/tiktok that will and jonathan will move into the wheeler's basement since they're back in hawkins with no house. this was just supposed to be a fun 'what if', but i realized that this could also parallel chamber of secrets.

ron weasley realizes that something must be wrong since harry hasn't written back all summer. he and his brothers take their dads enchanted flying car to rescue harry from the dursley's. after that, harry stays with the weasley's for the rest of the summer. in the movie it's only like a day or two, but in the books it's about a month. if will byers moves into mike wheeler's basement i'm going to lose my shit.

here's where it gets fucking crazy

when september first hits in the camber of secrets, harry and the weasleys go to king's cross train station to go to platform 9 3/4 where the hogwarts express is waiting. ron's parents and siblings go through first, then harry and ron. well, ron and harrry try, but they just run into the wall. the platform is closed and they're stuck on the other side.

HELLO???????? WILL AND MIKE ARE GOING TO BE STUCK IN THE UPSIDE DOWN FUCKING CONFIRMED

ron and harry stupidly decide to take the flying car to get to school instead and catch up with the train, which ends in a bit of a disaster (they crash into the womping willow).

this could play out in s5 in a lot of different ways, but here's my theory

maybe all of the gang will be in the upside down for some reason and mike and will are left behind. this is really interesting if vecna is actually paralleling dobby, because dobby is the one who closed off the platform. there's a theory that vecna is targeting mike as well because he knows mike makes will the happiest. maybe he traps them both in the upside down to take out mike first. or maybe, like dobby, mike (ron) is trapped by accident. i also think it makes sense that mike and will being in the upside down would parallel ron and harry flying next to the train. in stranger things we all know that the upside down looks like hawkins, but isn't. there are several times that we see characters in the upside down communicate and work together with characters in the real world.

do you see what i mean about it just making sense? mike and will in the UD working together with the others in the real world to get to the same place or goal, just like ron and harry got to hogwarts with the others on the train, just in a different way.

anyways i'm losing my fucking mind byler is endgame

also, the duffers are rarry shippers CONFIRMED