#i just. hadn't thought about it. i was pissed off and in pain and a bit upset but carried on. idk. anyway brushing my teeth hurt like a bit
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I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day
#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute#so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back.#pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few.#over and over and over.#and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick.#and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much#but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment.#which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow?#even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it#she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan#I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!!#no response. deep inhale. alright.#whatever tho.#when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning#and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area.#and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell#like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color.#I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH???#and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine.#there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him#and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times.#there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously.#I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out#was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do.#got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night.#put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over#blahhhhhh#and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
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#delete later#worked today ahd when my coworkers asked if i was feeling better i just off handedly said#yeah i just woke ip yesterday and my hands had completely seized up#couldnt di anything. way more mobile today thank goodness#and one of them went wow that sounds scary!#i just stared blankly at her and kinda shrugged. idk how to verbalise thst ive been waking up with parts of mt body#in astounding pain or completely seized up for like. a long time. it hasnt been both hands before and that was weird but like. ive been#woken in the middle of the night bc a couple fingers got caught and the pain of stretching them woke me up. this is just like. life#and im a whiny bitch aboit a lot of it. like my hands are painful but other ppl could probably stand it better than me. but im damb#good at getting on with it. what's the other option.#i just. hadn't thought about it. i was pissed off and in pain and a bit upset but carried on. idk. anyway brushing my teeth hurt like a bit#but i used cutlery with minimal intense pain!!! and i can straighten AND bend most of my fingers without popping#sensations! thats progress! im SO BORED#but even when they feel better im gonna need to build up slowly. the next couple weeks are gonna SUCK. But ive dug out my#old hand physio exercise stuff. looks like i need to expand my routine. or switch off and on for different days
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heat
part two of "cottontail"
CW: SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, heavily suggestive, profanity, bunny mutation + spring = fun times, girl imma do my best, this took forever, might be a little long, etc.
As much as he hated to admit it, Logan was worried about you.
In his two-hundred years of living, he had never met someone as hot-headed and brash as youâand that was saying something. But as your you-appointed new best pal, he resigned himself to making sure you didn't piss off the wrong people.
Though it was a nice change of role, seeing as he wasn't the loose canon for once, he couldn't help but begin to grow significantly concerned for your safety.
It wasn't that you were a bad person, far from it, in fact.
Always greeting him with a sweet mornin', Logan!
Always checking up on him after missions.
Always inviting him to "sparring sessions", which would inevitably turn into you two striking up conversation about anything and everything under the sun.
Not to mention you were a humongous flirtâJean called it being "overly friendly".
She noted that you didn't flirt with any other guys like you did him.
You always gave him those cheeky smiles that seemed to irk him to no end, and put that flirty lilt in your voice when you spoke. Not to mention the constant compliments, which would stick with him for days, sometimes weeks.
But that all stopped about a week ago.
After a day of you acting incredibly offâno jokes, no laughter, little talkingâOroro said you suddenly came down with a "spring cold", but that you'd be up and at 'em soon.
Well, soon hadn't come yet, and Logan hadn't heard anything from you in days.
A spring cold couldn't last this long...
Was it the flu? Was it something else?
And why did everyone else seem so unbothered by it?
These thoughts swam in his head every time he passed your locked door.
Until he finally had enough.
The night everyone went out for a field trip to the county fair, Logan stayed back, opting to visit your quarters with a few choice words, and a container of chicken noodle soup.
When he reached your door, he gave it a soft rap.
Nothing happened.
He tried again.
Still nothing.
Only after a thirdâmore aggressiveâknock, did you finally answer.
"Yeah?" you called, your voice low and croaky.
He'd never heard you sound so defeated, and almost... pained.
It made something pang in his chest.
"That must be some cold," he quipped, attempting to play off the feeling with humor.
"Logan?" you asked, sounding shocked. "What are you... What do you want?"
"I just came to give you some soup. Jean told me it's good," he answered, glancing down at the bag in his hand. "S'been a while since I've heard from you."
He waited for a response, but when you never gave one, he began to feel stupid.
This was a mistake.
"Look, I can just leave it outside the door if you don't wannaâ"
"No," you interrupted, still sounding strained. "You can come in. Just leave it on my dresser."
A little confused by your tone, he entered nonetheless, boots clicking against the hardwood.
And what he found was concerning.
Your room was a messâfurniture askew, clothes and empty water bottles discarded on the floor, a rumpled mess of sheets on the bed.
The smell in the air was thick with sweat and something else. He looked toward the king-sized bed where a heap sat hunched underneath the sheets
"(y/n)?" Logan called, brows furrowed with confusion and worry as he placed the bag on the dresser.
"Don't come over here!"
You sounded so distressed, in such discomfort.
What's going on?
Why did you sound like you were in trouble?
Ignoring your warning, he slowly stalked closer to the bed, taking slow, tentative stepsânow able to hear your soft whimpers and grunts of pain.
"(y/n)?" he questioned, firmly.
You stirred, reacting to his voice, breathing raggedly as if you couldn't get any air in your lungs.
"(y/n), what the hell is going on?" he demanded. "Whatever it is, I can help."
But you turned away, the sheets shifting with you.
"You can't," you whined, "You can't."
Patience running thin, Logan stormed over and snatched the sheets off of you. And there, under the covers, he saw you with his own two eyes.
You were curled into yourself, tail significantly fluffier than he remembered, and ears droopier than he'd ever seen.
Through your thin tank top, he could see your nipples were hard and perky, the shorts you were wearing barely covering your ass cheeks.
'Goddamn...'
When you looked at him, your face flushed red, pupils dilated beyond belief as you covered your face with embarrassment.
You trembled in your skin, tail twitching with discomfort and unease.
"I told you not to come over here," you panted, curling further into yourself. "Didn't want you to see me like this..."
You winced, squeezing your thighs together tight, looking to be in complete agony.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I'm in heat," you sighed, the cat pretty much out of the bag. "S'cause of my mutation. I can do everything a rabbit can, and go through everything a rabbit goes through. No matter how fucking stupid."
You wiped the sweat off your forehead, your curly hair soaked in it.
"S'why I've been hiding," you explained. "I've been tryna get through this, but I just... can't!"
Now he understood.
Your absence, your uneasiness, the smell of something in the air.
You were horny.
"How long's it last?" Logan curiously asked.
"Depends. Could be a week, could be a month..."
"A month?" he stated, surprised. "Are you in pain?"
Your face screwed tight, triggering something in his core.
"Yes," you groaned, hugging yourself closer.
You looked away from him, appearing so utterly humiliated and ashamed that it pained him.
He had to help.
"What can I do?" he suggested.
You turned to him, eyes widening. "What?" you asked. "What do youâ"
"I wanna help you, cottontail," he cut in, already kicking off his boots and taking off his leather jacket to reveal his sexy, white wife-beater. "So tell me what I gotta do."
You watched him, looking completely stunned and mortified, but your pussy throbbed at the sight of his outfit.
"No, no, Logan," you protested. "Y-You can't... you don't need to do this."
But he stood firm in his decision, refusing to leave you.
"I know I don't need to," he firmly responded. "I can't let you go on like this."
"It's okay..." you assured. "It'll probably be done by the end of the week. You don'tâ"
Before you could even finish, his hand grabbed your face, pulling you close and squeezing your cheeks, his tone demanding.
"Don't protest. Don't argue. Don't push me away... Just let me take care of you, alright?"
His gorgeous brown eyes, filled with the promises of safety and acceptance, bore into yours.
How could you deny him?
"Okay," you caved, leaning into his touch.
"Good girl," he cracked a smile, lips suddenly swooping yours up in a firm kiss.
You let out a soft, eager moan as he scooped you up in his arms, the man letting out a quiet chuckle when you squeaked, your feet dangling off the ground.
While still kissing you, he sat himself down on the bed and plopped you in his lap. His soft lips and tongue made you squirm in his lap, brushing yourself against his quickly hardening cock in his jeans.
"Can I touch your ears?" he whispered, breathless. "'N' your tail?"
Gently, his hand moved down to your ass, caressing your cotton tail. Your toes curled, your body tingling from the sensation.
"Y-Yes," you shakily replied. "Go ahead."
And when his fingers began to lightly brush and stroke your bunny ear from base to tip, you nearly had a full body orgasm, your pussy growing wetter with each pass.
"Fuck..." you gasped. "Yes, just like that..."
Logan smirked as he watched your face contort in pleasure, his ego growing with each whimper.
"Like that?" he asked, teasingly, his cock throbbing at the sound of your pitiful whine in response.
Over these past few months, he'd had countless dreams about having you just like this. And now that he was, he could say with certainty that it was far better than any fantasy.
Gently, one of his big hands slid down between your thighs to pet your pussy through your panties, while the other continued to stroke your ears.
Your mouth fell agape, pleasure coursing through you.
"Oh, fuck," you moaned, tilting your head back as his fingers ghosted over your clit.
You began to shamelessly grind your pussy into his fingers, turning Logan on even more.
"Needy little thing..." he chuckled, amused. "Adorable."
Under his firm gaze and insistent fingers, you nearly came apart at the seams. But before you could, he pulled away, scooping you up with one arm, much to your surprise and arousal, and sliding himself further down the bed.
With a grin, he dropped his head into the pillows, shifting and forcing you to hover over his face.
"M'gonna taste you, now," he stated, as if it was a fact.
You whined in response, moving to grab the headboard as he pulled your panties to the side, giving your pussy a quick peck before completely dropping you on top of him.
"Logan!" you half-moaned, half-screamed, eyes blown wide with pleasure.
You tried to brace yourself, but it wasn't long before he made you a writhing, whimpering, whining mess.
"Ah, Lo, yes!" you cried. "Oh, fuck! Right fuckin' there! Right fuckin' there!"
You were loud and vocal, much to his enjoyment.
He was having the time of his life, massaging your ass and sucking your wet pussy, your juices dripping down his chin.
He even groaned and grunted into your pussy about how good you tasted, only making you wetter at seeing such a stoic man lose his shit over you.
"You want a finger, baby?" he growled, voice slightly muffled. "Talk to me. Tell me what chu want."
"Please," you whimpered. "Fuck me, Logan! Make me come!"
Logan smiled, slowly inserting one of his thick fingers into your hole while his lips gently sucked on your clit.
You nearly screamed, bawling at the pleasure.
"Oh, my God!" you sobbed. "Shit, Logan, I'm gonna... I'm gonna.."
Your orgasm slammed into you without a second thought, drawing a string of slutty moans out as you came all over Logan's tongue.
"That's my good girl," he smirked into your pussy. "So fuckin' good f'me."
Your orgasm was so strong that you began to tremble, the aftershocks taking over your body.
The release helped with the pain... but it still wasn't enough.
You needed more.
Suddenly, he took hold of your chin, staring into your eyes as if he could peer right into your head.
"Do you want more?" he asked, cockily.
Slowly, you nodded, tears pricking your eyes at how much to needed this.
"Yes, Logan," you pleaded, your arousal making you bold and unashamed in your need to be fucked. "Please give it to me. I don't care how you take me. Just please..."
That was all he needed to hear.
He gave you exactly what you wanted and more. The man fucked you, and he fucked you good. He gave your little body everything it needed to knock out those horny thoughts and relieve you of your heat.
In almost every position, too.
He fucked you in missionary while standing up, his hips pistoning into yours while your feet dangled in the air, his hands pinning your thighs apart and making you take each deep, long, slow stroke that had you seeing stars and frantically rubbing your clit watching his handsome face contort in pleasure.Â
He fucked you while standing up, your little body bouncing in his arms as you fucked you up and down on his cock, your arms wrapped tight around his neck, your tits pressed flush against his pecs, and your lips locked with his in a passionate, sloppy, wet kiss.Â
He fucked you on your side, his big body curled around yours and his cock nestled between your ass cheeks before sliding inside you again, your leg hiked up to get deeper.Â
He fucked you on all fours, using your ears to pull you back on his cock, your back arched and ass stinging from random spanks while he pounded into the deep, wet heat of your pussy that squeezed and griped him for dear life. When you tried to rub your clit, he smacked it away and rubbed your pussy for you.
âUh-uh,â he growled. âNo touching whatâs mine. All you need to do is cum. Can my little bunny do that?âÂ
You didn't even answerâyou couldn't. But your loud moans and sobs bouncing off of your walls are all the answers Logan needs as he fucked you faster, harder, making your clit sing and pleasure zip through you.
When you felt your last orgasm of the night zip through you, you let out a broken whimper and came all over Logan's cock.Â
Triggered by your orgasm and sweet little sounds, Logan gripped you tighter and pounded into you without mercy, until he finally released, too.
âOh, fuck!â he gasped, his loud groans and grunts echoing throughout the room, triggering another mini-orgasm that made your pussy quiver and drip down your thighs.Â
Logan came deep inside of you, filling you to the brim. He even had enough to give you on your ass, pulling out to spray your perfect cheeks with more of his seed, pumping his cock furiously behind you.
A smile stretched across your face as the aftershocks began, practically melting into the sheets.Â
You were sweaty, winded, soaked, tired, and covered in cum...but youâd never been more satisfied or happier in your life.
Logan finally settled down beside you, turning you over to face him. He gave you a small smile, his face hot with stray hairs sticking to his forehead.Â
âBetter now?â he murmured, gently stroking down your back.
You wordlessly nodded, a small, tired hum leaving your lips.Â
âGood,â he nodded, pressing a kiss into your hair. âGet some rest.â
And just like that, you were out like a light, softly snoring into his chest, your body curled into his side.
You couldn't wait for next spring...
#james howlett#james howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#mcu#mcu x reader#wolverine x reader#x men#x men x reader#wolverine
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Bloody
Sylus x Reader
SYLUS MASTERLIST
LADS MASTERLIST
Summary: Even after being told against it time after time, you took a hit meant for Sylus
Cw: Blood, injury, angst, little suggestive at the end
The fight was a blur to you, all you remembered was that you and Sylus had been attacking your own Wanderers, as you finished off the Wanderer in front of you, you rushed for Sylus when you saw another about to take a strike at Sylus while his back was facing the creature.
With a cry of desperation, you lunged towards Sylus, throwing yourself between him and the looming threat of the Wanderer's weapon. Your body took the brunt of the impact, the alien's weapon slicing into your chest with brutal efficiency, the cut cauterised on impact. The pain was excruciating, but you barely registered it.
As you lay there, the gash burning your chest, your clothes slowly burning in, your vision blurring, you felt Sylus' strong arms wrap around you, cradling your injured form. His face was etched with concern, his eyes searching yours desperately.
"Stupid, aboslutely dumb little kitten!" Sylus growled, right eye pulsing red, his body nearly shaking in anger as he rushed home with you in his arms, being careful not to hurt you further, "Why? Why the fuck would you do that!?"
"You... You were gonna get hurt..." You gasped out as he set you on his bed, surrounded by pillows. "You always protect me... So I thought..."
"You don't take my hits!" Sylus growled, his hands hurting to remove your clothes so they didn't stick to your burnt skin, his words were harsh, yet they were laced with a desperate fear. "I step in front of you because I heal faster than you can blink. I will always step in to protect you, but you don't have to do that! Have you gone mad!?"
Sylus' intense gaze bore into yours, his chest still heaving with agitation. The dim light filtering through the curtains cast long shadows across his chiselled features, accentuating the sharp lines of his jaw and the furrowed brow above piercing crimson eyes. His broad shoulders seemed to tense even further beneath the leather jacket he hadn't removed yet. "If the blade was a little to the left YOU WOULD'VE BEEN DEAD!"
As he stepped back, giving you space, and himself too, his clenched fists hung at his sides, the knuckles white with restrained fury. The air around him crackled with barely contained rage, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, but you didn't flinch at how pissed he was, knowing he would never harm you.
Sylus paced back and forth across the room like a caged beast, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. The anger radiating off him was palpable, making the air feel charged with tension. Every so often, his gaze would flicker over to you lying on the bed, his expression softening just slightly before hardening once more.
"I won't let anyone hurt you," He muttered, his voice low and rough. "But that doesn't mean you get to throw yourself in front of danger like some kind of martyr, sweetie!"
As Sylus tried to calm his breathing as if trying to lessen the power pulsing in him, his mind raced with thoughts of how close he came to losing you. The memory of seeing that Wanderer's blade pierce your chest made his stomach churn with nausea even if he had destroyed it, he hoped he could've tortured it more. He couldn't bear the idea of living without you, of watching your life slip away before his very eyes.
He stopped pacing abruptly, turning to face you with a look of determination etched onto his features. With swift movements, he shed his jacket and kicked off his boots, revealing his toned physique clad only in a black fitted top and pants.
"SylusâŠ" You whispered weakly, trying to sit up but wincing at the pain in your chest. He quickly moved to support you, helping you recline against the pillows.
"Just relax, sweetie," He murmured, his fingers gently tracing along the wound, applying pressure to stem the bleeding. His eyes blazing with intensity. "Look at you, all pale and shaky. You could've died, and for what? To prove some stupid point about how much you love me? I know you love me, you were crazy for what you did."
Sylus ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, his chest heaving with agitation. He knelt beside you, brushing away a stray lock of hair that clung to your forehead, his touch gentle despite his rough exterior.
"Damn it, y/n," Sylus muttered, frustration clear in his voice, "I can't lose you. I can't stop seeing you... On the ground... I..."
"Don't worry," You whispered, the words barely audible even to your own ears, "I'm fine."
Sylus growled lowly at your weak reassurance, his red eyes flashing dangerously. "Fine?" He scoffed, his large hands hovering over your exposed torso, hesitating to cause you any more pain.
His breath hitched at the sight of your tattered flesh, Sylus scoffed, unclasping and slipping off his leather belt, "Now this is going to hurt for you, kitten." You automatically opened your mouth for him to put the leather between your teeth to bite onto, having gone through him using his Evol to heal you before. He held you down, hands holding down your shoulders, he focused on your gashing wound, red and black tendrils formed around your injury, energy humming, stitching your skin back up as you struggled in pain.
Your breath hitched as Sylus' Evol surged through you, the sensation of your flesh knitting together was excruciating. BItting onto his leather belt in pain, tears lining your eyes. For Sylus, he was used to healing, the pain was almost unrecognizable to him, but for you, it was torture.
Sylus kept his grip firm on your shoulders, anchoring you to the spot as he focused his energy on repairing your torn flesh. The sound of your pained whimpers and whines were like nails on a chalkboard, tearing at his heartstrings. He wanted nothing more than to take away your suffering, to make everything better.
As soon as the last tendril of energy dissipated, Sylus released his hold on your shoulders, allowing you to slump back against the pillows with a gasp of relief. His chest rose and fell rapidly, matching the frantic beat of his heart, yours slow, gaining speed back after you were healed, a faint line now replacing the gash.
"There," Sylus said, panting lightly. "It should heal nicely." Sylus' touch was tender, his fingers tracing along the newly healed skin, ensuring every stitch was done correctly, leaving no opening. His eyes never left your face, watching every flinch, every grimace that crossed your features.
Leaning in closer, Sylus pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, then to your eyes, making the tears fall, his lips brushing against your skin with a feather-light touch. "Never again," He spoke softly, his crimson eyes burning with an intensity that spoke volumes of his unwavering dedication to protecting you. "Never do that."
He was furious. Furious that you'd willingly taken a blow meant for him, furious that you'd endangered yourself for him, furious that he hadn't been quick enough to stop you, or protect you. Sylus's voice was low, almost a growl, "You're mine to protect, not the other way around, alright, my pretty kitten?"
A vulnerability, a hint of his underlying emotions that he tried so hard to keep hidden. He looked at you with an intensity that made your heart flutter. "You can't just throw yourself in harm's way like that, y/n," he said, his tone softer now, though no less firm.
You looked away from his burning eyes, still a little weak, "I just..."
"You just what?" Sylus demanded, his voice rising once more as he towered over you again, looming over you. "Couldn't bear the thought of me getting hurt? Thought you could play the hero?"
His words stung, but you refused to let him see how much they affected you. Instead, you met his gaze head-on, your own eyes blazing with determination. "I did what I had to do," You said firmly, your voice unwavering despite the pain still coursing through your body. "I won't apologize for not wanting to see you hurt."
For a moment, Sylus seemed taken aback by your defiance, his brows furrowing as he studied you intently. Then, with a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair, his shoulders sagging slightly. "You stubborn kitten," Sylus' nostrils flared, his chest heaving with each ragged breath. "You have no idea what you put me through," He muttered, his voice thick with emotion. "Seeing you lying there⊠It felt like my world was ending."
For a moment, his usual tough exterior crumbled, replaced by raw vulnerability. He took a step back, raking a hand through his hair, his crimson eyes filled with unshed tears.
"Oh, Sylus..." You whispered, voice a little shaky, reaching out to place a hand on his forearm, feeling the corded muscles beneath your touch, the other stroking his cheeks. "I'm ok... I'm ok because you healed me... I'm so much better already..."
Sylus sighed heavily, his gaze dropping to where your hand rested on his arm. For a moment, he remained silent, as if grappling with his own emotions. Then, with a resigned sigh, he pressed his face further into your now healed chest. "I can't lose you, y/n..."
As he nestled his face into your chest, you felt his warm breath ghost across your skin, each exhale a reminder of his closeness. He buried his face deeper, inhaling deeply, the scent of you filling his senses, pressing his ear against you to hear the beating of your heart.
"I don't know what I would doâŠ" He murmured, his voice muffled against your breasts. After a moment, he pulled back, looking up at you with those intense crimson eyes. "But I swear, if you ever try to pull another stunt like that⊠I'll tie you to my damn bed forever."
"Mmm... Kinky..." You joke half-heartedly, stroking his silver hair.
A small, wry smile tugged at the corner of Sylus's lips at your teasing remark, though his eyes still held a serious glint. "Don't think that's funny, sweetie," He warned, his voice a low rumble. "I mean every word."
"You're such a handful, kitten," He grumbled, shaking his head slightly, yet his actions belied his words as he settled further into your embrace. "Always causing trouble, always testing my patience." Despite his stern warning, there was a playful spark in his eye that belied his earlier anger.
"I love you, Sylus..." You breathed softly, nails scratching his head gently.
Sylus groaned in pleasure above you from your antics, "I love you too, sweetie."
He leaned into your touch, letting himself be pampered by your gentle strokes, something about your touch soothing his agitated spirit, his hands reaching your hips, calming himself with the feeling of you as you did the same with him, hands tracing his back, grounding yourself.
#love and deepspace#sylus#lads#lads sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#l&ds#fanfic#sylus fanfic#love and deep space sylus#lnds sylus#lnds smut#lnds x reader#l&ds sylus#l&ds x reader#sylus x you#sylusposting#slyus#sylus l&ds#love and deep space#lnds
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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hello đ big congrats on hitting 3k âŒïžđ𧚠i would request:
This is only, and only for the business deal. No more, no less.
Thatâs dangerous.
With Lewis, maybe sugar daddy or arranged marriage?
sending love đ«¶
âthis is only, and only for the business deal. no more, no less.â + âthat's dangerous.â
( event masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) â
:summary:: in which your husband just can't sleep on the same bed as you because- well his sanity is at it's last thread till it snaps! â
:feat:: lewis hamilton x reader â
:genre:: v lil angst; too much smut
âI have nothing more to add.â
You could feel the tension in the air, thick and suffocating, as you stood across from Lewis in the lavish hotel room. Your patience was wearing thin, and his calm façade was pissing you off.
âYou're insane if you think Iâm just going to-â your words cut off when he abruptly stood up, eyes still staring intently at you.
Why did he even care where you spen the night? You would rather just book another hotel room than sleep on the sole bed while knowing your husband was a few feet away, sleeping on the couch, and not with you purposely.
âThis is ridiculous,â you snapped when you found your voice again, your tone cutting through the silence. âI didn't sign up for this kind of treatment.â
Sure, that was a bit extreme. Given that he was always so polite, so prime, so perfect. God, was it a sin to expect him to lose it a bit? To not hold back when you clearly lost it whenever you were around him?
âAnd what kind of treatment is that, Y/N?â Lewis clenched his jaw, barely holding on to his⊠temper? âYou cannot get another room to stay in, this is not-â
âIâm not sharing a room with you! I donât give a fuck about what your investors think of us!â you retorted, throwing your arms above your head. âThought this marriage was only for a business deal?!â
He took a step closer, his eyes darkening with frustration. âThat's right. This is only, and only for the business deal. No more, no less.â Lewisâ eye twitched and you rejoiced internally at finally seeing a tiny part of him starting to crack.
You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, a mix of anger and something elseâ something you refused to acknowledge in his presence any further. âIf that's all it is, thenâŠâ
Frankly, the words stung more than you wanted to admit to him and- yourself. You knew this marriage was arranged for the benefit of both your families' businesses, but hearing it out loud, especially from him, made it feel all the more real, and all the more painful.
Were you hoping for a different outcome? Not necessarily. It did hurt, though, when your âhusbandâ stepped onto any tiny flicker of hope you had with his ignorant comments. Why did he act like he didnât fucking want you?
Because he really doesn't, your mind screamed, and as tears gathered in your eyes, you turned around to leave, but Lewis grabbed your arm, his grip firm but not painful, a desperate plea leaving his mouth. âWait.â
You shook your head as he turned you around, hardening your gaze, your eyes challenging. His expression was a total contrast, softened with a hint of panic in his eyes. âI'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Please, don't go.â
âWhat?â You hesitated, feeling a twinge of satisfaction at his apology. But you weren't ready to let him off the hook so easily. âYou can't keep saying things like that and expect everything to be fine, Lewis.â
Oh- what a sight it was, to see him close his eyes as he tried to get a check on his composure. âI know. I know, and I'm sorry. Just... stay.â He pulled you closer, his breath warm against your ear. âPlease."
There was something in his voice, a vulnerability that you hadn't heard before. It made your resolve waver, and before you knew it, you were leaning into him, your bodies pressed together. His lips found yours in a desperate kiss, all the pent-up frustration and longing pouring out in that single moment and you were taken back to say the least.
âWhy do you do this?â you murmured against his lips, your voice shaking. âWhy push me away when you know you want this too?â
âBecause it's easier to pretend this is just a business deal.â Lewis's grip on you tightened, kissing you again as he sent shivers down your spine with his fingers snaking towards your sensitive parts. âIt's easier to keep my distance than to admit how much I- fucking want you.â
âO-oh,â was all you could muster up, nodding but not even listening to him, before the words processed, and you pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. âYou are a pain to be married to.â
His eyes softened, and he nodded slowly. âI know. I just... I don't want to hurt you.â
âYou won't,â you whispered, pressing your forehead against his, nails digging into the back of his arms to show him you didnât care. âBut tonight, I want you to.â
âFuck,â he grinned, biting on your earlobe as his hands roamed over your body, pulling at your clothes, and you let him, your own hands busy with his shirt. The next few moments were a blur of hurried movements and breathless kisses until you were both naked, the cool air of the room bringing goosebumps, or maybe that was just- Lewis, and how his bare skin felt against you.
Before you could savor the moment a bit more, your husband pushed you back onto the bed, his eyes roaming over your body with an intensity that made you shiver. He shamefully checked you out as you did the same,âYouâre fucking beautiful.â
Lewis sucked in a breath when you pushed your hair behind, gracing him with the sight of your nipples standing out, just waiting- begging him to put his mouth on them and suck them. You decided to let him be and ran your gaze down his body, clenching around thin air when your eyes found his cock.
Your husband smirked as he loosely stroked himself once- twice then fuck- a third time, knowing you were rubbing your thighs subtly to relieve some of the pressure. âYou drive me crazy, you know that?â he murmured as he climbed on top of you, his lips finding your neck.
He started trailing kisses down to your collarbone and then lower, mouth open, teeth hurting you just right. âHmph! Lew-â You choked when he sucked on your nipple, lapping it up and wetting it like a starved man.
âYou. Are. Perfect.â Lewis whispered against your skin, taking turns biting each nipple as your breath got caught in your throat. âFucking hell.â His voice thick with desire, driving you absolutely mad.
You moaned softly, your hands tangling in his hair. âBaby- shit- pleaseâ His thumb immediately found your wet hole as he massaged around it when you thrusted up a bit. âMaking a fucking mess, you dirty gir-â
Before he could carry on, your hand fumbled down to gather some of your slick before you rubbed it against his length, your husband shuddering against you when he felt you cover him in your own juices.
He moved lower, back to kissing your neck as his knees gave out and his weight fell on your arms. You gasped as his finger flicked upwards, towards your bundle of nerves, he was finally giving you everything you ever wanted, his thumb working you with a skill that left you breathless.
âLewis- Iâm.. IâŠâ You choked out, barely before you figured out what he was drawing on your clit, your hand loosening the grip you had on his twitching- leaking cock. L-E-W-I-S, he kept on drawing this pattern, rendering you absolutely helpless under him.
Your hands found his back, nails probably drawing blood, holding him in place as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. âCum for me messy girl,â You heard him groan before he took your nipple in his mouth again.
âFuck- Lew! Shit.â You craned your neck to look down at him, catching his other hand wrapped around his length. His angry tip leaking pre-cum that he was rubbing to stroke himself, his grip tight on his cock.
The thought of your juices mixing together on his cock had you cumming immediately with a staggered moan of his name, your body shuddering with pleasure, he was right there with you, his eyes never leaving your face, mesmerized.
Lewis moved back up your body, his lips finding yours again in a kiss that was both tender and demanding. You could feel him pressing against you, hard and ready, and you wrapped your arm around him, pulling him closer. âIâm here, baby. Such a fucking good girl for me.â
He entered you in one swift movement, a gasp escaping your lips at the sensation, he was so fucking big. Your husband stilled for a moment, his forehead resting against yours as you both caught your breath, obviously it had been too long since you both did it.
This was the moment when you realized that all those nights you spent worrying whether he had a mistress were utterly useless because the way your man looked seconds away from cumming just by being inside you for a single second?
âI've wanted this for so long,â he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion and the softness doing something very ugly to your heart. âIâm afraid itâll end too soon.â
âMe too, Lewis. Me too.â You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing over his cheeks. Your husbandâs cock twitched again and you gasped as your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he started to move.
It was slow at first, your soft walls wrapping against every single vein of his cock. âFuck- Iâm- hngh!â Lewis was so gone, eyes closed before he increased his pace. âShit!â he hissed not believing heâs been missing out on this all this time just because he thought you wanted nothing to do with him.
âNever.. Oh my god- always everything! Lewis- wanted everythingâŠâ You trailed off but he got the gist of it. Still not realizing that he was not just thinking- he was saying everything out loud. His hands gripping your hips as he set a rhythm that had you screaming incoherently.
âYou feel hah- so good,â he groaned, his lips brushing against your ear. âSo perfect.â
You could feel yourself getting lost in the sensation, the way he filled you, fuck he really was so big, felt bigger than he looked and the way his body moved against yours, was so perfect. It wouldnât be delirious to say you thought you both were made to fit each other.
âWe are,â your husband dragged out, voice hoarse and breaking. It was suddenly almost too much, and yet not enough. You needed more, and you told him as much, your voice a desperate plea,âFaster, Lewis. Please.â
Your husband responded by increasing his pace, his thrusts becoming harder and faster, driving you closer to the edge once again. âMy beautiful- ah- Y/N! My w- wife.â
You realized he was cumming when you felt his whole body go stiff and a chant of âah, ah, ah, ah,â fell from his mouth, his cum filling you to the brim. He came so much that the next time he tried to thrust his over-used, over-sensitive cock a little, your poor hole was so utterly slippery that he fell out.
For a moment, you lay there, tangled together, your bodies slick with sweat. And then he pulled away, his eyes searching yours after he was panting a bit less than few seconds before.
âY/N,â he said softly, his voice filled with something you couldn't quite place, you didnât know how he still had his voice intact. âDid... Did you finish again?â
You shushed him before shaking your head, your hand reaching up to caress his cheek. âNot with you inside me.â He groaned at that as his hands squeezed your waist and his head fell right between your marked breasts. âI promise I last longer than this usually.â
His words made your heart beat faster, you made him like this, made him lost control, lost himself after he entered you like so absolutely that he just couldnât help cumming despite wanting to last.
You tried to stop it but a chuckle escaped your mouth, which didnât last long at all before he picked up your leg and in a second hooked it around his shoulder, leaning down to kiss your clit that was sensitive as hell, making you immediately gasp.
âI know just how to shut you up.â
And in that moment, as your hands tangled in the locks of his hair as you tried to ride his face, you knew this was something. Whatever this was, whatever it would become, you were in it together. No more âno more, no less,â you guys were way beyond that at this point.
©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.
â
:a/n:: wow i got carried away ngl but!! thanks for the request love! feedback and reblogs are appreciated :3
#âïčevents#f1#fanfic#formula 1#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton smut#lewis f1#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton fic#lewis hamilton f1#lewis hamilton x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#lewis hamilton one shot#lewis hamilton x y/n#lewis hamilton x you#lw44 fanfic#lw44#lw44 x reader#lw44 imagine#lw44 fic#lw44 x you#lw44 x y/n#lw44 one shot#formula one imagine#lw44 smut#lewis hamilton imagines#f1 fandom#formula one
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Risky Business
Written for @steddie-week day 2 | Prompt: Hands Rating: M | WC: 2,027 | Tags: Pre-Steddie, season 2, shotgunning, dry humping, coming in pants, cheating (if you squint) Find full list of tags on ao3 | Divider credit
âWatch it, Harrington!â
Steve didn't even turn around to see who was yelling at him. He needed to get the fuck out of there.
Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.
The words reverberated in his head, echoed in the empty hollow of his chest where his heart used to be.
"Like we're in love?"
It was too fucking much. There were monsters, and Barb was dead, and Nancy wasn't in love with him, andâ
âHarrington!â
âWhat!â Steve spun around and came face to face with one Eddie Munson. He definitely didn't need this shit right now, either, whatever Eddie was trying to do.
âJesus, who pissed in your cheerios?â Eddie held his hand out, where Steve's keyring dangled from one finger. âI was giving these back, but if that's how it's gonna be.â
Steve swiped for them, but Eddie already had them folded back into the palm of his hand and was walking towards the house again.
âJustâ hand them over.â Steve tried to make another grab for them, but Eddie was too fast, the shithead. âMunson, I'm in a really bad goddamn mood, okay?â
Eddie lifted his free hand to his head, rubbed at the back of his neck. âHow much have you had to drink?â
Steve blinked at him. âI'm fine to drive.â
âThat's not an answer, big boy, and I'm afraid it would be against the Munson code to let you do something stupid like that.â Steve swiped for his keys again, but then Eddie was turning, rearing his arm backâ and Steve watched as his keys went flying.
âWhat the fuck !â Steve wanted to shove him, wanted to wipe the stupid smile right off of his stupid fucking face.
âI'll help you find them later,â Eddie said. âC'mon, man. You're clearly not in any shape to drive. Let me take you home.â
Steve wanted to say no. He wanted to kick and scream and argue but how the fuck else was he supposed to get home now? Just the thought of sticking around long enough to see Jonathan pour Nancy into his car made his stomach twist.
He could walk, but he was so tired . It washed over him all at once, and Steve's entire body sort of slumped. âFine. You're paying if we don't find them, though.â
Eddie looked surprised, like he hadn't expected Steve to give in so fast. Still he bowed, gestured ahead of them. âRight this way, sir.â
âYou wanna talk about it?â
Steve shook his head, bringing his cheek to rest against the window. âNot really.â
âOkay.â Eddie reached over and turned the radio on. The music was heavier than what Steve usually listened to, but that actually helped get him out of his head. There was going to be a breakdown, and a big one, but he needed it to not happen here, in Eddie Munson's van.
Eddie fidgeted. Steve could tell he wanted to talk, to say somthing, anything , to get rid of the silence between them.
âDoes... Wheeler have a way to get home?â
Steve wished Eddie would've kept his big mouth shut.
âShe's fine,â he said flatly. Emotionless. He couldn't think about Nancy, about bullshit, bullshit, bullshit .
âShitâ hey, I'm sorry, man.â Eddie was really fidgeting now, andâ fuck.
Steve wiped away traitorous tears and cleared the lump out of his throat. âI'm fine,â he said, snappier than he meant to. It wasn't Eddie's fault he was losing his cool.
âClearly. Totally fine,â Eddie said, nodding. He seemed to think about it, fingers drumming against his steering wheel againâ did he ever sit still? Then they were turning away from Steve's house, towards the edge of town.
âC'mon, man, I'm fine, justââ
âTrust me,â Eddie said. His eyes flicked over to Steve again. âThis is better than going home.â
Steve had been to Lover's Lake before, but never in the back of Eddie Munson's van. They'd parked, and Eddie had lit up a preroll. Whatever was in it, Steve wasn't feeling any pain anymore.
They were floating together, weightless in the back of the van on the pile of blankets Eddie had spread out for them. Steve's hair hung away from his face as he watched the way the night sky reflected in the water.
There were no dead girls here, no alternate universes with monsters ready to rip them to shreds.
There wasn't a bat driven through with nails that looked rusty with old monster blood rotting away in his trunk.
There were just stars, and the music pouring softly through the speakers now. And Eddie, warm and sturdy by his side, with their pinkies barely touching.
"Fuckin' love this song," Eddie said. Steve didn't recognize it, though the thrum of the guitar made his already fuzzy brain vibrate pleasantly.
"Think you've said that about every song we've listened to," Steve murmured. His tongue was heavy and thick in his mouth. He reached for the joint, giggled when his fingers didn't want to work and he nearly dropped it.
"Lemme help you." Eddie rolled over, pressed the butt of if it to Steve's lips. His fingers were dry and warm. Steve's eyes nearly crossed as he tried to watch those fingertips. He was so distracted he almost forgot to actually inhale.
"Never woulda taken King Steve for a lightweight," Eddie teased. His voice was giggly, too, as he leaned back, brought the joint to his own mouth and took a long pull.
Steve couldn't stop watching his fingers, the glint of the light on his rings as he lifted a hand to tuck his hair behind his ear.
"You still with me?" Eddie asked. He lightly bumped his foot against Steve's and gave him a teasing smile.
"Yeah, 'm with you," Steve said. He reached up to touch one of Eddie's rings without really thinking about it. "You have nice hands." His fingers were long, slender. Musician's hands, complete with callouses that Steve had the odd desire to get his lips on.
Maybe the bitten nails weren't a musician thing, just an Eddie thing, but that didn't change the fact that Steve kind of wanted to kiss those fingertips.
"Yeah? You like, big boy?" Normally Eddie wouldn't have risked flirting with the straight jock high off his ass in the back of the van but Harrington didn't feel like a threat. He waved his hand lazily and watched Steve's gaze follow along like there was a slight delay between what Eddie was doing and Steve brain processing it.
"Yeah." Steve reached up to catch Eddie's wrist, to stop him from moving his hand around. "I do." He trailed his fingertips over Eddie's palm then outlined one finger at a time.
If anyone had told Eddie that morning that he would end the day holding hands with a stoned Steve Harrington at Lover's Lake he would've laughed in their face and asked if they needed a ride to the hospital. Here he was, though, with the ex king threading their fingers together, pressing palm flush against palm.
A shaky breath slipped out of Steve's chest. He pulled their hands closer so he could run his fingers over Eddie's rings, then up along his knuckles.
Eddie watched Steve with heavy lidded eyes. They were just holding handsâ at least, he thought this weird thing Steve was doing where he followed the lines where their hands touched counted as holding handsâ but there was something about it that felt intimate.
Maybe it was the way Steve's lips were parted, and the peek of pink as his tongue wet his lower lip. Maybe it was the way Steve was eyeing their clasped hands like he wanted to fucking bite them.
Or like he was holding Eddie's hand to keep from doing just that.
"Harrington." Eddie nudged Steve with his foot again. "Sure you're with me?"
Those warm eyes met Eddie's again. Steve didn't answer, he just watched Eddie's face in a way that made the other boy feel cut open and exposed. It was a feeling Eddie didn't get often, a feeling he really didn't know how to be comfortable with.
So Eddie did the first thing that came to mind that wasn't just staring right back. He took a hit off of the joint, never taking his eyes off of Steve's. He didn't let the smoke out and instead leaned in to almost press their lips together, and once Steve opened his mouth, he let the smoke pass between them.
Steve made an injured sound. Before Eddie could pull back to check on him a hand was in his hair, and then they were kissing. It was desperate, tongues and teeth meeting and clashing.
"Eddie," Steve panted before tipping his head back so Eddie's mouth could be on his throat instead.
Eddie wanted to mark him. He wanted to bite and suck and leave traces of himself all over this ridiculous jock. He had just enough mind left to not let himself do that, and instead he dragged his tongue over Steve's pulsepoint before giving his earlobe a gentle tug.
"Oh fuck â" Steve pulled him in, licked into Eddie's mouth again and ground against the thigh now settled between his own legs.
There was an urgency in the way Steve's hips moved, in the way he kissed at Eddie's neck before biting down, unafraid to mark the way Eddie had been.
Eddie cursed and rocked down, meeting those hungry little movements. They were going to come together, ruin their clothes together. He should stop it, should remind Steve that he was drunk and there was maybe a girlfriend waiting for him when the sun came up.
Then Steve tugged down the collar of his shirt and those perfect fucking teeth were digging into his collar bone. Eddie cried out at the flash of pain and pleasure as he spilled into his boxers.
Steve anchored a hand into Eddie's hair and pulled him in to kiss him again. His movements picked up, became something more firm against Eddie's thigh.
Eddie was going to remember the sound Steve made as he was coming for the rest of his life.
They settled together on their nest of blankets, with the come drying into the fabric of their clothes and in their pubic hair. Eddie barely dared to breathe, in case Steve decided to kick his ass once he'd come back to himself more. Steve didn't do that, though. Instead he took Eddie's wrist and brought his hand to his mouth, to kiss the underside of each of his three chunky rings before resting Eddie's hand on his chest.
"I should get home."
They cleaned up as much as they could with the napkins fished out of the glovebox. The blankets were left in a pile in the back to be dealt with later.
Steve seemed more calm on the drive back to the Harrington house. Some of the edge Eddie had noticed when they'd first ran into each other seemed to have been smoothed out, whether by the weed or the orgasm or a mix of the two he wasn't sure.
Only once they were parked did Steve rememberâ "Fuck." He looked up at his house, with all the dark windows staring down at him. "I don't have my keys."
"ActuallyâŠ" Eddie reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and came up holding Steve's keys.
"You sneaky bastard." Steve took the keys and turned them over as if inspecting that they really were his.
"I really didn't feel like sneaking around Tina's house and having her call the cops on me. Just had to make you think I'd thrown them."
Steve watched Eddie's face in the dashboard light. Tomorrow he would have to talk to Nancy, he knew. It was going to hurtâ already his chest ached with what they had to do, what he'd been refusing to accept had been coming for a while now.
But maybe it didn't have to hurt forever. Maybe he didn't have to hurt forever.
"Good night, sneaky bastard." Steve reached over and squeezed Eddie's knee before slipping out of the van.
"Night, Steve," Eddie said. He sat there watching until Steve was safely inside.
#Steddie#Steddie fic#steddieweek2024#Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson#Stranger Things fic#kintsugi_kid ao3
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More Than You Say (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
ââââââ
Author Masterlist
Part 1: More Than You Know
Part 3: More Than You Expect (the end)
ââââââ
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.
Summary: Spencer mulls over what you said and your love confession during your last fight. And he knows how deeply he fucked up this time. After admitting he is in love with you, Spencer wants to fix things. Are you willing to let him?
Word Count: 5.6k
TW: ANGST. Strong language. Mention of abduction, drug use, getting shot, death of relatives and loved ones, jail, and unsafe sex. If I forgot anything, let me know.
A/N: This is the aftermath of 'More Than You Know' from Spencer's POV. I'm not going to lie. This one ends worse than the previous one. The good news is that there is a third chance, meaning a third part. Maybe they will have luck in that one.
ââââââ
Spencer doesn't know how long he has stood there, looking at the door you shut when you left. His first thought was to run after you, but he refrained.
What could he have said to you?
Sitting in the chair that you left vacant, he takes a deep breath. The room feels suffocating to him.
Your words keep reverberating in his brain, and Spencer wants to feel utterly surprised, but it would be a lie. Not that he precisely knew what was going on; it was more like he sensed something was off, and he ignored it.
Like a royal asshole.
The hurt in your eyes is something he knows he will never forget. Those kind eyes that were always welcoming and understanding, this time, only reflected betrayal and pain.
Spencer hates his mouth and the way his words can do so much harm.
Rewinding the past months in his brain, Spencer tries to figure out how you both ended like this.
You never told him how you felt, and Spencer is sure about it. He would have done something if you did.
He is so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't notice Emily walking into the room.
"She told you, didn't she? You must have hella pissed her off," Emily muses. And Spencer can't help but return a confused look.
"Wait. You knew?"
Emily let out a frustrated sigh, sitting in front of Spencer.
"Sometimes I wonder why that amount of IQ doesn't pay off," she wonders. Seeing the man still clueless, she continues talking. "Spencer, possibly the only one who didn't know at this point was you."
Great. Everyone knew but him. Spencer wants to dig a hole and disappear right now.
"Why she didn't tell me?"
The question is more to himself than Emily. She answers nonetheless.
"I'm not sure if she ever wanted you to know. If you hadn't pushed her the way you did, she would never have told you, I guess."
Spencer takes in Emily's words and starts questioning everything about you and him in the past months.
"I assumed so many things lately, and now I'm unsure if they are true or part of my imagination," he says, frustrated, raking his hands through his hair.
"You have the answers, Spencer. Even if you think you don't."
Spencer scoffs at that. He doesn't fucking know anything. That's the problem. He needs to fix something but doesn't know what it is.
"I need to talk to her," he decides, standing and walking to the door. Before he could cross the threshold, Emily calls his name.
"Reid, wait."
Spencer turns to see Emily. She has a stern look.
"Don't talk to her unless you know what you want to say."
Spencer's eyes narrow. He can't conceive of not talking to you right now. He wants to run to your place right away.
"What? But Emily, I need to know-"
Spencer argues, but Emily doesn't let him finish.
"You'll figure it out. Just don't rush it. She has been through a lot. At least you owe her that. Think about what she told you first."
Spencer doesn't know what to doâthe compulsion to run after you clouds his senses, but Emily has a point. He doesn't know what to say. Yeah, he is sorry for what he said to you and how he treated you, but an 'I'm sorry' won't fix it.
Besides, until that day, Spencer thought you both were only friends, and you were okay with it. He only pegged all your apprehensions and the words of concern like a friend's worry.
It seems he did a great job ignoring what it was in front of his eyes.
You said you loved him. And Spencer has no reason to doubt your words, even if he told you he does.
Spencer leaves the conference room defeated and with a weight over his shoulders he hasn't felt in a long time.
As he passes your desk, he sees it empty, and his stomach clenches. It's like being in a parallel world where you are not next to him, and just imagining it disturbs him.
The rest of the team watches as Spencer wanders around the BAU like a lost puppy, wondering if this will make him really reflect on how he's been leading his life lately. They know the bond between you and Spencer is important to both of you, but they've also seen how it has deteriorated over time.
That night, as he steps into his apartment after work, he only wants to grab the phone and call you. But Emily's words start replaying again.
'You'll figure it out. At least you owe her that.'
Spencer opts to sit on the couch with the lights off and his head back.
He needs to fix this.
When he closes his eyes, his mind wanders to the day he met you.
-
He was a scared kid, a freshman FBI agent recruited by Jason Gideon. He put a foot in the bullpen that day, and Hotch was the first to greet him. His stern look was different from Gideon's and more intimidating for sure. He led Spencer to the conference room, where you were perched in a corner with a mug of coffee in your hands.
'This is SSA (Y/N) (Y/L/N). It's her first day, too. Agent (Y/L/N), he is SSA Dr. Spencer Reid; he is joining the team as well.'
You glanced at him and rapidly stood from your spot, stretching your hand to him. He should have shaken it, but his germaphobe self kicked off.
'The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.'
After the words left his mouth, he wanted to be buried alive. You retracted your hand with an amused smile.
'I didn't know. But I guess we should skip the kiss part for now,' you said, and Spencer's cheeks burned in embarrassment. Seeing him all flustered, you quickly added. 'But It's good to know new things. I think I'll learn a lot from you, Dr. Reid.'
This time, Spencer's cheeks burned from more than embarrassment.
It might sound cliché to say that for the first time in his life, Spencer felt so comfortable with someone. You quickly became his best friend and unmatched support. People wondered why. To outsider's eyes, you both looked so different. You were more confident than him, with an extraordinary ability to listen and say the right words at the right time. You were one of the few people who wasn't intimidated by either Hotch or Gideon, a thing he could not say about himself.
And, by far, you have been the only person there for him when Spencer has needed it the most.
He remembers having the vial in his hand. He stared at the item for a while, deciding whether to use it. It has been weeks since Hankel kidnapped him, and he stole the Dilaudid from his dead body.
He was feeling trapped and hopeless. Spencer thought he could handle it, but every day, it seemed worse than the previous one.
His feet carried him to your door that night. He knocked but didn't know why. Maybe he hoped to find some strength he didn't have.
You opened the door and glanced at him, confused. He wasn't okay, and he didn't look alright, either.
'Spencer? What are you doing here?' you asked, your voice laced with worry.
'I'm sorry I didn't call before coming.'
He didn't know how he managed to get words out of his mouth. Spencer was to a second to crumble.
'It's okay. What happened? Are you hurt?' Your eyes scanned his body for a sign of what was going on.
'I don't - I can't (Y/N). I can't do this. I need help.'
Spencer broke, sobbing at your door. You rushed to hug him; you didn't even care that you were in the middle of the hallway.
That night, Spencer confessed his sins, and he found nothing but understanding and support in you. He didn't know he deserved either of these things until he met you.
As you both got closer, he learned everything about you. In the same way that he confided his life to you, you did the same to him. And Spencer never hesitated when you needed him.
You called him sobbing that night. Your dad was suddenly admitted into the hospital due to an illness he hadn't told anyone before. You were his only close family member. Your mom left the country when your parents divorced a decade ago, and your two older siblings lived in other towns.
'Hey, I came the faster I could. What happened?' Spencer rushed into the hospital waiting room where you were. You darted your glassy eyes at him, with lips quivering.
'He isn't okay, Spencer. The doctor says he- oh God - he will not make it,' you broke, with a sob raking through you.
Spencer engulfed you in a tight embrace. You cried with your head on his chest. He would have given everything to rip off your pain and carry it himself.
You both stayed in the hospital that night. You at least could see your dad for a moment to say goodbye. At dawn the next day, he passed away.
Spencer remained with you through your grieving process and swore to be by your side and protect you for the rest of his life, no matter what.
And like that, life kept testing your bond with Spencerâfailed relationships, elusive psychopaths, work injuries, friends gone, faked deaths, and so on. The BAU changed, but you both remained.
Sometimes, Spencer wondered if destiny was a real thing. Maybe with you, it wasâhis best friend.
He was truly happy having you in his life, but why sometimes did it feel like something was missing?
Spencer questioned his feelings about you for a long time. Was it something more than a platonic sentiment? Why was his heart filled with joy every time he saw your smile or heard your laugh? And it plugged with gloom when you were sad?
With time, Spencer was convinced he loved you but kept his mouth shut. He told himself he was over-reading the signs. And Spencer blamed his early lack of affection and inexperience in the heart's department. You undoubtedly didn't feel the way he did, and he was creating a whole imaginary world that would crush the moment the bubble popped.
People around weren't helping either. After telling Morgan how he felt about you, he kept telling Spencer that he needed to make a move.
JJ, for her part, let out her insinuations about how he should do something and the high probability of his feelings being reciprocated.
But Spencer wasn't sure, and the risk of losing you for overstepping your bond terrified him, so he said nothing.
And things could have stayed that way, but a light of hope for him opened time after.
Morgan and Hotch had left the BAU, and the team was focused on trying to catch Scratch. At the same time, Spencer was dealing with his mom's illness and her recently diagnosed Alzheimer's. As always, you were there for him.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you to Houston?" you asked him, sitting on his couch one night.
"No. It's okay. It will be only two days," Spencer assured you. He felt terrible for lying to you. He never did that before, but he knew you would talk some sense to him about what he was doing on his trips to Mexico.
"Will you call me if you need anything?" you insisted, and Spencer could only think how much he wanted to hug and kiss you. But he won't do that. He can't do that without telling you he loves you. Not without risking losing you due to a stupid love confession.
Spencer was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice his lack of response to your question.
"Spencer? Are you okay?"
With still a semi-hazed brain, his hands reached yours, and his eyes locked with yours. A frown of worry appeared on your face.
"Have I ever told you how grateful I am for having you in my life?"
A blush crept from your neck to your cheeks. It wasn't the first time Spencer had told you something like that, but how he looked at you that night, with that intensity, was making you weak on the knees.
"Yeah. A couple of times, if I recall correctly," you replied, trying to sound casual, but inside, you were aflame with his gaze.
"I think I should say it more. And to show it like it really is," Spencer mumbled, and you were confused. What was he trying to say?
"You mean like buying me more coffees and bagels?" you joked. You always did that when you were nervous, and Spencer knew it.
In a bold move and without letting your hands go, he scooted closer to you on the couch.
It was now or never. Spencer knew then this was his chance, and if he didn't take it, he would never do it again.
"Can - can I tell you something?" he asked, flicking his gaze between your eyes and your lips back and forth.
You noticed the gesture and were about to combust. Why was Spencer looking at your lips like that?
"Yes." Your voice above a whisper, fearing it could falter if you spoke louder.
"I want to kiss you so bad right now," he whispered back, so close you could feel his breath fanning your face. Your lips parted to say something, but no words came from them. Instead, you were the one who closed the gap between you both and kissed him.
Spencer kissed you back immediately with such urgency that you could feel the longing and desperation on his lips.
Deepening the kiss, neither you nor he wanted to stop. Fearing if you did, the moment would vanish, and you would wake up from this beautiful dream.
Maybe this was the chance you both needed to confess your feelings for each other. But fate could be cruel more than once.
In the middle of that years-making kiss, your phone rang suddenly. The infamous sound made you both jump back and return to reality.
Still dazed, you fished the device from your pocket. Emily was calling. You didn't know what to do. Should you answer your phone and cut the moment? Or ignore it and grasp Spencer's lapels to kiss him again?
Your bewildered look made Spencer decide for you.
"You should take that. Could be important," he said, voice laced with doom. He knew what was coming. You wanted to argue, but maybe he was right. Reluctantly, you slid your finger on the green bottom.
"Emily?"
The team had a new case, and it was urgent. You needed to be on the tarmac in twenty minutes.
"Can we - can we talk about this later?"
You were unsure where you were standing. Sure, you felt the electricity of that kiss; you didn't imagine it. But maybe it wasn't like you were thinking. Perhaps it was just the heat of the moment. A lot of things were happening, and you both were vulnerable.
On his part, Spencer saw this as a sign. This wasn't the time or the place. He didn't feel prepared to face his true feelings at the moment.
"Sure. Uh, but now you should go; they are waiting."
The bad thing is you never talked about that again. You went with the team to Connecticut while Spencer left the following day, not to Houston like he said to you. He went to Mexico.
The next time you saw each other was with Spencer in a cell in Matamoros.
There are a lot of things Spencer regrets about that infamous trip. One of them is to lose his chance to know if he could have built something more with you. How could Spencer imagine having a relationship with you now? After he lied to you? After falling in disgrace like this? You deserved more than a broken man, incarcerated and lost. Spencer didn't want to drag you with him and his misery. He couldn't stand the idea of breaking your heart for a failed relationship, but he didn't want to lose you either. The reasonable middle ground for Spencer was keeping you like his friend, as it has been until now.
After Spencer was released from prison, neither you nor him spoke of that night. He presumed you regretted kissing him, and he was afraid to say what it meant to him.
Everything got lost after his release. Spencer became reckless and superficial. He was a different guy. But everyone dispensed him due to the traumatic events he endured. You did it, too. You had stayed and committed yourself to him in the role you knew so well: as his best friend.
And that's what Spencer saw since then: you by his side, supporting him like the good friend you were. And he thought it was okay. You were alright, and he should have to live with the idea of not knowing what it could be to love you openly.
That's how Spencer immersed himself in a shallow and meaningless life, failing his true self and becoming a person he despised but who shielded him in his vulnerability.
-
The cell phone ringtone brings Spencer back from his thoughts. He quickly pulls it out of his pants pocket, secretly hoping it's you. It's a long shot, but he wants it so badly to be real. A short-lived wish because the caller ID shows it's Gabrielle, his late conquest.
Spencer lets out a heavy sigh, and your words come back to him.
'No! It's everything! Can't you see it? It's the way you lie to your teammates and the way you do your job like it doesn't matter to you. The way you turn everything into something meaningless. The relationships you have, your job, your friends. Everything!'
Spencer feels his body stiffen. It's like he's looking at himself from the outside, and what he sees terrifies him.
That's what you've seen in him, and he understands why you've walked away from him like that. The person he has become is to blame for your pain, and Spencer feels sick. He, who swore years ago to protect you from all harm, is the one who caused this.
'Do you really believe that? Do you really believe your self-destructive behavior only affects you? I didn't think you were so selfish, Spencer.'
Selfish. It's what he's been all along. And you had to be the one to throw it in his face to realize his mistakes.
Spencer doesn't have the energy or courage to answer the phone. He knows why Gabrielle is calling, and what 24 hours ago would have been a tempting offer now feels futile and pointless.
It's meaningless because the only truly significant relationship he has wanted all along is with you, nobody else.
And possibly you are in your apartment thinking Spencer is an asshole, believing he doesn't value you, that he doesn't care about you, that he doesn't love you. And while the asshole part it's true, he does care about you, and he does love you.
It may be too overdue, but it's time for you to know, he thinks.
With a resolution Spencer didn't know he had, he stands from his couch to grab his coat and keys. He is going to reveal his secret tonight. He is going to admit his underlying love to you and stop his charade.
During the car ride, he is having a pep talk with himself, trying not to lose the bravery that made him leave the apartment.
You have to know. He has to clear things up and get you back.
Spencer keeps repeating the words until he's at your door, calling with two solid knocks.
After some rustling from inside, the door opens, revealing your unhappy face. Spencer knows he deserves all the bitterness and pettiness you have and will throw at him, and he's going to take it all.
"You didn't check the clock before coming here, did you?" is the first thing coming from your mouth.
Spencer takes in your appearance. You're in your pajamas already, but the bags under your eyes tell him you weren't sleeping, and possibly you have been tossing and turning for hours now.
"I'm sorry. I know it's late, but we need to talk."
The roll in your eyes doesn't go unnoticed by him; it's like you weren't surprised by him standing at your door at 2 am.
"Spencer, if you want to talk about what happened this afternoon, I don't think-"
"Please? I know I behaved like an idiot today, but please let me explain," Spencer insists, and he really hopes you don't close the door in his face.
You contemplate your response for a second. Spencer knows you know he won't leave without talking to you, so you open the door just enough and signal him to come inside.
Spencer comes in and waits for you to close the door. The resolve with which he came is fading as his brain tries to organize his ideas and all the things he wants to say.
You gesture towards the couch, and he takes a seat. You too, but in a chair next to it.
Where to start? Spencer thinks about just blurting out everything and spilling his heart in front of you. But you are the one who starts talking.
"Why are you here?"
Spencer clears his throat. "I - I want to apologize for what I said. I hurt you, and I didn't mean to do that. I really didn't mean to do that."
"But you did," you say flatly, and he nods.
"I know. And I'm sorry. I let you down, and I feel horrible misreading the whole thing. I should have noticed."
Spencer barely blinks, trying to gauge your expression. You're difficult to read right now, and he hates it. You guys always were so good at reading each other, and he lost that ability, too.
"If you are talking about-" You seem ready to say something to not address the subject, so Spencer only blurts his question.
"Is it true? Do you love me?"
You sigh, shaking your head.
"Spencer-" You start, but Spencer doesn't budge. He needs to know and to hear it from you.
"Please, tell me," he pleads, and you let out a bitter chuckle.
"Why? It doesn't matter. It won't change where we stand right now," you convey with some treacherous tears fighting to fall. You avert his gaze.
Spencer stands and kneels in front of you.
"Please, look at me."
His index tilts up your chin so he can see your eyes. You surprisingly let him do that. "I need to know if you feel the same way I do about you," he whispers, his eyes fixated on yours. You furrow your eyebrows.
"What are you talking about?" One of his hands tenderly poses on your cheek to dry some of the tears falling.
"What I'm trying to say is that I love you. I have always loved you."
God, it feels so good to say it finally.
"W - What?" You look perplexed, and Spencer knows this is the opportunity he has to come clean with you.
"I know I didn't tell you sooner. It's long overdue, and even if I have my reasons, they don't excuse how I have treated you in the past months. But I promise things will change. I won't hide this anymore. Please, give me a chance to love you."
You seem overwhelmed with the information, so much so that you stand and start to pace in your living room. Spencer gets up as well and follows you with his eyes.
"Spencer, how- I - I don't understand. Why are you telling me this?"
"Because it's true. You are the one for me. I love you (Y/N)."
It seems now that he's said it once, Spencer spares no effort in repeating he loves you over and over again.
You stop pacing to look at him, an accusatory look in your eyes.
"Why now?"
Spencer understands your apprehensions. Of course, after everything that had taken place in the last hours, he comes to your door proclaiming his love. Logically, you are confused and don't expect it.
"Do you remember the night we kissed? The night before I went to Mexico?" He asks, and your gaze softens at the mention of that night.
"I do. But I thought you forgot," you say, casting your eyes down.
"How could I?! I wanted to do that for a long time. I couldn't believe we were finally kissing. It was like a dream come true for me," he recognizes, shorting the distance between you both and tentatively cupping your cheeks. You let him.
"But - but after the call, you - you told me-" you stutter, recalling the details of what occurred there.
"I know. I chickened out. After Emily's call, I thought it was a sign and not the right moment, so I backed off. There is no single day I don't regret doing that." Spencer's eyes glasses over, thinking about how foolish and blind he has been all this time.
"Why you didn't tell me?" you murmur, almost in a whisper.
"Because I'm stupid. Because I thought I was protecting you. I was in jail (Y/N); what could I have offered you?"
You huff and shake your head, putting distance between you both. Spencer's arms fall to his sides.
"And after that?"
Spencer knows you're talking about the time after he was released from Milburn. He gives you an apologetic look before answering.
"I thought I was doing the same. That having you as a friend was better than not having you at all," he concedes. Maybe it's the hardest part for him to admit because, when that happened, everything started to crumble between you both.
"So that was the friendship bullshit," you sneer. Spencer nods.
"Yeah. And I'll always be sorry for doing that to you. But I promise you, if you let me, things will change."
You go silent, mulling over his words, and it's like your defenses start to turn down. You look at Spencer with a mix of emotions he can't still crack. Maybe his words are void for you right now. That's why Spencer thinks showing you what he means is better than keep talking.
He slowly approaches you without breaking eye contact. With one of his hands, Spencer tilts up your chin while he leans down. He can hear the air hitching in your throat. His heart beats faster and faster as he gets closer and closer.
You do not move a muscle, nor do you reject his touch.
When his lips make contact with yours, you both let out a sigh you were holding. Your lips begin to move in sync. Spencer is kissing you, you're kissing him back, and there is no phone ringing.
Spencer gives you everything he has, trying to express he is yours and no one else's. You are both lost in a kiss that seems increasingly urgent and desperate.
But suddenly, you push him away. It's as if a jolt of electricity has struck you, shoving you away from him.
"Please, don't. Don't -" you mewl in a broken voice. Still dazed, Spencer looks at you, baffled.
"W - What's wrong?"
"I - I can't," you mumble, running your hands through your hair and shaking your head.
"Why not?" Spencer asks, and when you keep shaking your head and saying nothing, he starts to panic. "(Y/N), please. Talk to me."
"Spencer, I'm sorry. I can't do this," you repeatâthis time with a steadier voice. "This isn't going to work."
Isn't it going to work? Spencer doesn't understand why you are saying that when you both just have admitted the truth.
"But I thought you loved me?"
Spencer's voice is small, frightened. It's as if, in five seconds, he went from the top of a mountain to a free fall into the void.
You look at him for a second, and it's like a realization hits you.
"So that's the reason? You are here and saying all these things because I told you I loved you?"
The accusing, defensive tone returns to you. And Spencer doesn't know what to do.
"No! I mean, yes! I thought a lot about what you told me. And I realized my feelings for you have always been there. That's why I'm here," he defends.
You insistently rub your eyes with your palms like someone who desperately wants to wake up from a dream.
"I'm sorry, but I can't believe you."
Spencer's eyes widen. You've closed yourself completely and thrown the key out the window.
"But it's true! I can prove it. I can be a better man for you if you give me a chance. Please." Spencer is begging, tears rolling down his face, but he doesn't care. He will do anything to get you back at this point.
"Spencer. Listen to me. Things don't work like that, okay? You hurt me, and I'm not talking about my romantic feelings for you. You questioned my loyalty as your friend. Do you know how that made me feel?"
"I'm sorry-" he tries to explain, but you cut him off.
"It's true what I told you earlier. I chose our friendship above acting on my love for you. And it seems I did it in vain."
Spencer shakes his head. "No, no, no. Don't say that. I know I did wrong, but I can make it up to you."
Can he really?
"Spencer, you need to make it up, but to you, not to me." Spencer's head snaps up.
"What - what are you talking about?"
You let out a deep sigh. "We both know you know."
"Prison," he confirms, embarrassed of what that word implies.
"And how your life has been since then."
"I know I fucked up. I hurt you-"
If thousands of apologies are necessary, he's willing to give you all of them.
"You hurt people, Spencer! Not only me! You fooled around; you have been treating women poorly and playing with their feelings. You have lied to your friends and pushed them away. And the worst part is you have been hurting yourself with all this!"
Spencer's eyes squeeze shut. You are right. He knows that. But he is so terrified about you walking away from him that he can't see the big picture.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"I know you do. But I can't do this anymore. Supporting your self-destructive actions is not helping anyone."
"I know. And I'm not asking you to do that. I'm asking for a chance to show you I'm the guy who would do anything for you. Please?"
"Spencer, that's exactly my point. You must heal because of yourself, not because of me or anyone for that matter."
"I'm not-"
"Listen to yourself. You say you want a chance? But you only ask it after I poured out my heart this afternoon. How can I trust you when you have only shown me this version of you? Don't ask me to believe it."
There are a lot of things Spencer knows he has to do. He has a lot of mistakes to face and make amends for. But he fails to realize that the first amendment he needs to make is to himself.
That's what you have been trying to tell him.
"Are you saying there are no us?"
It's almost a rhetorical question at this point, but Spencer asks it anyway.
You look at him with sorrow in your eyes.
"There is nothing I want more than to be in your life, but in these circumstances, I don't think it's possible. Not when you must clear your head and think about what you want first. For real."
"But I love you; please don't ask me to step away."
It's another plea. The last resource Spencer has in him.
"I'm not asking you for that. What I'm asking you is if you really love me, don't drag me with you in this process you're going through now. I can't - I don't have the strength to stay by your side in this one. I'm sorry, but I need to think of myself this time."
"(Y/N)-"
"And now, I ask you for you to leave, please. It's late," you say, walking to the entrance and opening the front door.
It's late. Those words mean so much more to Spencer now.
It's too late for a love confession when you've already ruined everything that supported it.
It's too late to try to fix the mistakes he has made with you. Even tonight, it was daring to come to your home late at night, being inconsiderate of your space and time.
There is no way he can do something now without hurting you.
Maybe time will give him a hand, and the wounds will soften. Spencer hopes that by making real changes in his life, you will see he really meant everything he has said tonight.
What Spencer doesn't know is that you won't be around to see those changes happen.
ââââââ
Spencer Reid's Taglist:Â @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispersÂ
For those who asked for a part 2 (I'm so sorry for the delay): @gghostwriter @sebastiansstanswhore @evvy96 @pillsbury-doughgirl @singinghamtaro-blog @atlantica-angels @lukesmainpiece @ladyofhellhounds @gubzgirl @shqwqrma @hereforfun-31 @reader1402
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid angst#dr. spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#more than you say#more than you know#aperrywilliams#amanda perry williams
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Can I get some orgasm denial w Enzo please? Or even just Enzo being a munch :)
Enzo is a huge much and I stand by that. Thank you so much for requesting him. <3
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Lorenzo Berkshire x F!Reader
Warnings: Oral(Female receiving) fingering, edging, orgasm denial, cussing.
18+ Minors DNI!
Enzo's favorite place in the world is between your thighs. Having a bad day? Being in between your thighs would fix it. Got into a dumb argument with his friends and needs to cool down? Your thighs make good earmuffs. Having a good day and wants to end it on a high note? Your legs spread for him is the best way.
Today was a bad day. Horrid. He was running late in the morning, Mattheo was in a pissed off mood and taking it out on his friends, he completely forgot about an assignment. So he came straight to your dorm once he knew you'd be there.
Now, here you were, panties thrown somewhere in your room with your skirt bunched up as you sat on your desk chair, Enzo kneeling between your thighs. Your hands were in his hair and he was just licking and sucking at your poor sweet cunt like he hadn't eaten in years.
âEnzo.â You whined his name. The sight was so hot.
âDon't you dare fucking cum.â He said harshly. He was definitely more aggressive than usual. Not that you were complaining.
âPlease, I'm so close.â You pleaded, throwing your head back.
âNo. If you cum, I won't touch you for a week.â He said and you knew he wouldn't follow through with it, but you still tried to obey.
You cried out and focused on trying not to cum, but it was so hard with the way he was sucking at your clit. Despite his harsh tone and how aggressively he was eating you out, his hands were rubbing soothingly on your thighs and hips.
âShit, I'm gonna cum, Enzo, please.â You said, legs shaking around his head as you moaned.
He pulled back slightly. âNo, I told you not to. Can't you be a good girl?â
You whined from the loss of his mouth and and looked back at him. âI can be a good girl. Please.â You begged, your hips moving subconsciously to try to find some friction.
âYou gotta listen then, sunshine.â He said sweetly.
âI can. I can listen.â You nodded.
âYou better. Or I have to punish you. Do you want that?â He asked, moving his hand up to gently massage your breasts.
âNo, I don't want that.â You pouted, whimpering slightly from his touch.
âGood, I don't wanna punish you either, angel. Just relax and look pretty for me, yeah?â He said and connected his mouth with your pussy again.
You moaned, watching him as he licked at your pussy again. He pushed two fingers in you and looked up at you. He thought you were the hottest thing in the world. You looked perfect as you moaned and cried out his name as he ate you out.
âEnzo, please, please, please.â You begged as you threw your head back, legs trying to close on his head from how close you were again.
âNo, hold it.â He was back to his cold tone, lapping at your pussy as his fingers were hitting inside you perfectly. He used his free hand to wrap around one thigh to keep your legs spread for him.
âI can't, please.â You cried out, legs starting to shake.
âNo.â He gave your thigh a harsh slap and it made you jolt, yelping from the pain. âBe good.â He rubbed over the slap sweetly in contrast as he pulled back again. You tried using the moment to catch your breath and say something again, but he was back on you again after just a moment, waiting for the orgasm to dwindle down before trying to build it right back up.
âFuck, Enzo. So good.â You moaned above him, looking back down at him.
He was watching you again, wanting to see every small reaction to his touch. He felt so fucking good, the way his tongue was playing with your clit and the way his fingers were thrusting in and out of you. Your orgasm was building quickly again.Â
âEnzo, please.â
âNot yet.â He said, not letting up at all.
Your eyes rolled back as your head fell back against the chair. Desperate, broken moans escaped your lips as you held tightly to his hair. It was all you could do to obey. You desperately needed to cum, you were right on that edge.
âPlease.â You sobbed. âI can't. I need-Enzo, please.âÂ
âYou're so greedy. Cum then. Wanna see you cum on my face.â He said before sucking on your clit.
You came hard, trembling, crying, screaming his name. It was so fucking hot to Enzo. He helped you ride out your orgasm, soothing you with his free hand.
You were trying to catch your breath as your body went limp in the chair. He gently removed his finger as he soothed you and praised you.
#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys smut#lorenzo berkshire x reader smut#lorenzo berkshire x reader#lorenzo berkshire#enzo berkshire#enzo berkshire x reader#enzo berkshire x you
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"Dada fart!" Your daughter, Miu, who happens to be a three year old that thinks anything with farts or butts is funny, giggles while pinching her little nose with her index finger and thumb.
"Rintaro that smells atrocious! Go to the bathroom!!" Within a few seconds Mui parrrots, "Dada troshus!"
There's a cat-like grin gracing his sharp face. Leave it to him to be devious and handsome at the same time.
"What are you guys talking about? I don't smell anything." It physically pains you how childish he is. Both you and Mui smell that rancid smell, he can't seriously be saying he doesn't smell anything.
"Rintaro. Don't pretend like you don't smell that." It takes extreme patience for you not to curse right now. Mui doesn't need to be taught language like that, especially not while she's only lived three little years on this earth.
"Dada smell like a stunk!" You really do wish you could find this whole thing funny like Mui does, but it smells absolutely awful.
"You mean a skunk?" She nods rapidly.
Rintaro being ever the childish man he is, runs right past you and sprays something on your clothes.
Fart. Spray. He was pranking you, and now he just sprayed you with fucking fart spray.
"RINTARO YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH- SHIITAKE." If you thought the smell was bad from afar it's even worse up close. You curse whoever has made that horrible stuff, hoping they get a first class ticket to hell.
"Mama fart!" Since Mui hadn't noticed the fart spray she just thinks you "farted" along with her father.
"No- I mean- Dada has a spray that smells like farts." A mischievous sparkle glistens in her eyes, just like it does when Rintaro has a bad idea.
"If little kids use it though, it might burn." You make up completely on the spot. Hey if it works it works.
"I no wanna get burnded." The way she pronounces burned is absolutely adorable.
"Sorry babe." Rintaro's right behind you. He's sincere but that crooked smile on his face pisses you off. Before he can even grasp what happens you snatch the spray from his hand and start spraying like crazy.
"HOLY SHIT- that ugh- DAMN THAT SMELLS LIKE A BAG OF ASS!" His eyes widen, as do yours, once he realizes what he just said in front of his daughter.
"Bag of ass????" Sweet little Mui repeats.
"That's a no no word, Honey." She too widens her eyes. Rintaro instantly groans knowing what that means.
"Dada give Mui three paper moneys for bad words." The man in question sighs as he pulls out his wallet.
#i have no idea where i was going with this lmaooo#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#rintaro suna#suna rintarou#suna x reader#suna rintaro x reader#rintaro suna x reader#suna rintaro haikyuu#suna rintarĆ#suna rintaro fluff#suna fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu suna
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Tomura x reader (smut)
âMessaging.â
New message from -BRAT-
âHeyâ
âY/n I'm busyâ
He texts back a few minutes later, his annoyance in the short reply was almost palpable. Sheesh.
âWhat ya doing?â
Tomura groans reading your next message and rolls his eyes. Did you not understand the concept of him being busy? He was in the middle of something, he didn't have time to chat
âI told you I'm busy.â
He quickly texts back, his patience was already wearing thin.
'Right haha sorryâ
Tomura can't help but scoff at how quickly you gave up-annoyed that you apologized and didn't press further. He was expecting more of a back and forth but not even a minute later you apologized and backed down.
âDon't be such a pushoverâ
He texts back with a bit of annoyance, but not necessarily at you, more so he wanted you to put up a fight
He sighs, tapping his foot impatiently against the floor as he glances around the small room. It's a rather boring room-grey walls, grey carpet, and a single bed in the corner. He was staying in a shitty motel for the night since it was already getting late.
He glances at his phone, seeing you hadn't replied yet. He was hoping you'd respond but was starting to think you didn't feel like it. He didn't think he had been too rude earlier...
"Tch..."
He mumbles quietly, scrolling through a shitty phone game to pass time. The more time that passed with you not replying, the more he started to overthink.
Usually you'd keep pushing him, yet for some reason today you hadn't. It was annoying how much you were suddenly acting so passive.
He checks his phone one more time to see if you had answered yet but sighs seeing the last message was still his.
Tomura puts his phone down on the bed, running a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. He felt a small pang in his chestâ something akin to guilt or regret. Was he being too rude earlier? He didn't think so but he was used to you being feisty and pushing back...
He rolls over onto his back and glances up at the ceiling, staring at a stain in the corner as thoughts start swirling around in his head. He really was overthinking this.
'Sorry I was taking a showerâ
Tomura feels slight relief at finally getting a response from you, but also gets strangely annoyed all of a sudden. He can't understand why you apologizing again irks him this timeâhe just feels pissed at the fact that you're being so submissive, so obedient. Why weren't you pushing back?
âDidn't askâ
He texts back quickly with a scoff, his response sarcastic and bitchy
'Bitch.'
Tomura doesn't expect that kind of response. His eyes widen a little in shock and he slowly sits up on the bed. He smirks at your words and laughs quietly to himself â there you were, finally putting up a fight.
âGood to know you haven't lost your attitudeâ
He texts back, hoping to get some type of conversation going. It was boring as hell and he was starting to be antsy.
âWhatever I was trying to be nice but all I see is a pissy boyfriendâ
Tomura is a bit taken back at being called "pissy". He was more annoyed and bored if anything, but you were right about the boyfriend part. He was being a bit sour.
âShut up. I'm not pissy I'm just busy and your ass kept messaging me even though I told you so. You're the one being a pain in my ass right now.â
He texts back, a tinge of irritation in his words even though he's kinda amused
'Two messages are you dense?'
âDoesn't matter how many times you texted. I still said I'm busy and told you to knock it off.â
He rolls his eyes, getting a tad more annoyed that you're being a smart ass but not too annoyed to not entertain it. As much as he can't admit it, he did miss your little back-and-forth. It was interesting. Plus having someone to chat with distracted him from the boredom currently taking over his thoughts.
âWhatever are you still busy? Or are you with your side piece?'
Tomura can practically feel himself getting more irritable by the minute. How little did you trust him? Why would you automatically assume he'd go and see another woman? The fact that it kinda stung that you'd think that pissed him off
âYou know damn well I'm not with a side piece. Besides who in their right mind would even put up with me?â
He texts back, leaning back against the headboard of the crappy motel bed with a huff
âUnfortunately me.'
âShut up. You make it sound like putting up with me is a choreâ
He grumbles, not amused at your sarcastic comeback. He wants to say something harsh to you to get you riled up but can't find the words that won't make him sound like a jackass. So he keeps it short and simple, and thankfully his next message from you pops up on his phone before he has time to think too much on what to say next. He looks at your response and huffs, shaking his head as he types back.
'It is babe.'
Tomura can feel himself get more worked up by each text from you. You were really being a sarcastic ass today. He couldn't even deny the fact that you were correct in what you said. It was usually a chore to put up with him and he knew that... but that didn't mean it hurt any less to be reminded of itâ by his own partner no less.
âShut it. Be nice to me damnitâ
'I tried to be and you called me a pushover.'
Tomura's hands clench into fists as he reads the last message. You were right, you did try being nice and he essentially just told you to shove off. He's starting to feel guilty... but of course he can't show that
âThat's 'cause you'd been acting like one by apologizing and backing off so damn quicklyâ
âI forgot you like it when I get all bitchy'
Tomura has to bite back a grin at your last message. The fact that you were fully aware of how he liked it when you were snarky and challenging was amusing to him. It was also a slight turn on too...
âYou damn right I do. I like you better when you're biting back.â
'whateverrr. Hurry up and get home.'
Tomura feels a small sense of giddyness at your next message. You wanted him to come home. You missed him? He can feel the corners of his lips tug up into a small, uncharacteristic grin
âI will. I'm almost done up here then I'll be back. Still can't believe you're being so clingy though.â
'well I miss you and your dick.'
Tomura nearly drops his phone as he reads your message. The grin on his face grows wider into a smirk and he can't help the flush that's creeping across his cheeks. Out of all the responses he was expecting... that wasn't one of them
âYou miss my dick huh? What happened to you being so innocent I gotta remind you to watch your language?â
'Oh please you don't say that when you stuff it down my throat'
Tomura's dick twitches slightly at your last message, immediately imagining you on your knees for him. He groans quietly to himself, quickly typing a response back as his free hand comes up to run through his messy hair.
âWatch it babe. Keep talking like that and I might never make it backâ
He gets a sudden idea, one that he's not sure you'd like but it's worth a try
âHold on, gimme a sec. I have and ideaâ
âOh?â
Tomura quickly opens the camera app on his phone, setting it to the front camera
âI'm gonna send you something but I want you to promise that you won't freak out.â
âI swear if it's another one of those videos where you torture someone I'm losing it.â
Tomura rolls his eyes, not surprised that you'd think that. He can't help but laugh a little at how wrong you can be sometimes.
Although, in all fairness, he was unpredictable and the videos of him 'messing with' unsuspecting heroes probably didn't help
âNo, I'm not sending you a murder video. I'm not stupid.â
"Good.'
He scoffs, typing his next text
âYou gotta have more faith in me babeâ
He holds up his phone so his face is visible, and with his free hand, he reaches under the hem of his shirt, his palm coming to rest just above the waistband of his sweatpants. He smirks into the camera, his eyes locking on the phone as he clicks send. He's anxious to see how you respond to the picture, since the only thing visible in the picture are his face, bare stomach, and his sweatpants that are being tugged down slightly
'Fuck.â
âThat was hot.'
Tomura reads your response and he can't help but smirk, feeling a wave of pride at how you reacted to the picture. He was so damn right to send it and get you worked up. He texts you back within the minute, the smirk still plastered on his face
âYa like it?â
As you viewed his picture repeatedly you quickly send him a picture of you in his favorite langire as you set the camera showing off your curved body as you stroke a sexy pose on his bed.
Tomura's eyes widen at the picture that suddenly pops up on his phone. You were in his favorite underwear that he bought for you. You were laying on his side of the bed in a seductive pose and it looks like you've already spread your legs a bit...
âGoddamn...â
He whispers, feeling his sweatpants get tighter as he stares at the picture
He quickly types another message, his breaths a little shorter as he stares at the picture you sent as he takes it in slowly
âYou're trying to kill me aren't you?â
âYou started it, Do you have any idea how much I need you.?'
Tomura feels his chest tighten a bit at your words, wanting nothing more than to be able to touch you himself. His hand that's above the waistband of his sweats dips a little lower, a frustrated huff leaving his lips
âI'll be back soon. That's a promiseâ
He sighs and glances away from the phone and back up at the ceiling of the crappy motel. Part of him is tempted to send you another picture but he stops himself, thinking it'll be better if he waited until he got home to get his hands on you himself.
As he tried to dose off he got another notification. You had send him a video of you folding your tits together with one hand as you looked up at the camera with those stupid lustful eyes.
Tomura's dick twitched as he watched, his need growing with every second. He could feel his pre-cum already starting to dampen his boxers as he saw his girlfriendâs naked body. Youâre beginning to explore your body, cupping your breasts, squeezing and pinching your nipples, which stood erect and begging for attention. Tomura imagined it was his mouth working on those nipples, sucking and teasing them with his tongue.
Tomura couldn't take it anymore. He needed release, and he needed it now. He stripped off his clothes, his hands already working on the button of his sweats. As he threw his clothes aside, his cock sprang free, hard and dripping. He grasped it tightly, pumping it slowly as he imagined your mouth wrapping around his length, your lips kissing and sucking the tip.
He closed his eyes, letting the video play in his mind, feeling the warmth of the room and the tight pull of desire in his balls. He imagined you were there, your mouth working its way down his body, tasting every inch of him, your hands teasing his balls, playing with them, squeezing gently as your tongue flicked and teased.
Tomura's breathing quickened as he stroked his dick, faster now, a steady rhythm as the head of his cock glistened with pre-cum. His imagination was on fire, he pictured your mouth taking him deep, your throat working as you took him to the back of their mouth, sucking hard, your eyes looking up at him, full of desire.
Fuck he needed you so badly. He was this close to waiting it out, to not touch himself while he was away from your aching body. But you had to send him the most sexy video.
His hand bucked up and down his needy cock as his thump bullied his pink top just how you would.
âF-fuck-..â his voice rasped lowly as he tried to hold in his moans.
âNeed you so badly.. s-shit..â he groaned as you continued his movements his balls becoming sloppy bouncing up and down his movements and his tip dripping with pre-cum.
He tilted his head back from all the lent up frustration as he groaned softly.
âH-haa..â he muffled out as he felt himself come closer to his release. His hands gripped around his cock as he hurried his movements rapidly.
âS-shit shit shit y-y/n..â he groaned and grunted as he felt his cock twitch rapidly while he released. As he continued his movements rising his high his breath rasped and hitched.
His cum oozed out his twitching cock dropping down his hand to his sloppy balls. He quickly picked up his phone snapping a quick picture of the sight sending it straight to you.
âYouâre such a damn brat. Youâll get that when I get back, You want me to get you pregnant huh? You want me to come back home and knock you up. Is that what you want?`
#bnha#my hero x reader#x reader#18+ mdni#my hero academia#hotcheetos22#smut#anime smut#fluff#mha writing#shigaraki tenko#tomura x reader#tomura x y/n#tomura x you#mha tomura#tomura shigiraki x reader#tomura shiragaki#tomurashigaraki#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki x reader#fem reader#reader insert#bnha tomura#boku no hero academia#bnha shigaraki
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Rather Be With You
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader
Summary: Jake has been away for six months and he just hopes you waited for him.
Warnings: cursing. I think that's it.
Notes: this was inspired by an ask (đ) from a bit ago. Sorry it took so long. So much happened in the last week and a half, some good some bad, and it just got on top of me. Writing had to come second. I have probably written better in my life haha, but I tried.
Words: 1972
---
âYou know he's only messing with you, right?â
He wasnât sure how long heâd sat there, hunched forward with his elbows on his knees as he wrung his hands together. Surely it had been a while. For the entirety of the morning, perhaps? Rooster had made his teasing comments at seven a.m. sharp and they were due to dock at noon. Had it been that long? Or had he really managed to shove many hours worth of painful thoughts into just a few short minutes? Somehow, he figured, it was one or the other. No in-between.
When his eyes flicked up, Natâs face seemed to hint at the former.Â
It made sense, he supposed. Spending hours thinking about you wasnât exactly uncommon. Usually, though, those thoughts were a bit nicer, with you naked and smiling, laughing, or whispering sweet words to him. He liked those better than the ones that had plagued him forâŠwell, however long heâd been sitting there.
âHe knows what he said isnât true,â she continued. âHe wouldnât have had the balls to make jokes like that if he thought they would hold any weight. Trust me, no one particularly enjoys pissing you off.â
He wasnât pissed off, though. He was devastated at the seeds of doubt planted in his head; at the pain and insecurity that came with the twisted knife to his gut. He hated the images forced into his mind at his friendâs words; the ones of you with other men; the ones that made it terribly clear how little you considered or missed him in his absence.Â
âJake, she waited for you. I know she did.â
âYea? How?â he asked.Â
Phoenix opened her mouth quickly, just as he would have had someone asked him a few hours ago if you loved him like he loved youâready to confirm with a smile on his face. But if made to think of the answer for more than a half-second, without the hope and giddiness fueling his enthusiasm, he realized he couldnât actually say for sure if you loved him, just as Nat now could not say with certainty that you had waited for him.Â
Her mouth closed.Â
"Exactly. You don't know," he said. "Itâs not like I was smart enough to ask her to be my girlfriend before we left. She has no obligation to me, so why would she have bothered to wait six months to have me when she could have anyone?"
The brunette shook her head. âI donât believe she's like that."
Leaning back against the bench and crossing his arms, Jake just barely held himself back from a scoff. "Like what, Nat? That wouldn't make her anything other than a woman who found someone new to sleep with after the guy she was sleeping with disappeared for half a year.â
âBut you didnâtââ
âI know I didn't disappear. But Iâve been gone longer than weâd been together," he said, his voice drifting as he imagined what he hadn't stopped to consider before; a nightmare that, if proven true, would cleanly snap his heart in half. "Joke or not, Rooster could very well be right.â
â
"You're overthinking,â Pennyâs voice snuck in from your left.Â
She reached out to take the beer glass from your hand, polished almost too clean after the twenty minutes you spent absentmindedly running a rag over it. Your mind had been too occupied with troubled thoughts to notice your unceasing drag of the dishtowel around the cylindrical shape of the glass.Â
It came free from your hand with ease, and as Penny placed it back on its shelf, you spewed, "What if he hooked up with someone? What if he decided six months was too long to wait for a woman that isn't his girlfriend?â You finally faced her just to find her rolling her eyes. âHe likes sex, Penny. A lot. There are plenty of willing women and he's practically insatiable."
"When it comes to you, maybe."
The tenseness in your shoulders from well-formed stress was heavy with your exhale, forcing your shoulders to fall forward and your posture to take a hit. "PennyâŠ" you groaned.
"I'm telling you, there's no way he messed around with anyone,â she swore, leaning back against the bar. "Besides, it's frowned upon to get involved with your coworkers."
"You think that's ever stopped Jake?"
She pursed her lips and tilted her head from side to side as she considered. "Ok, fair enough,â she agreed. âOnce upon a time, that definitely wouldn't have stopped him. But after meeting you, he hasn't looked at another woman."
You couldnât say that provided you with any relief. Jake had always presented as an âout of sight, out of mindâ type of man. He wasnât a worrier. Once something exited his periphery, it promptly left his brain, discarded with all past challenges or predicaments. And wasnât that what you were? An obstacle? He hadnât asked you to be his girlfriend for a reason. Holding on to you for more than just the night didnât necessarily make you more special than any of the other women. Perhaps it simply made you convenient. Â
"You donât know, Penny. Youâre not with him 24/7."
Penny muttered something under her breath. Her fingers rose to rub at her temple and when they dropped back to her side, the stare she shot you was imbued with determination. "Look, my bar is where Seresin used to do his "best work," as he liked to say,â she said, and you made a face. "But the only work he's been putting in since he met you has involved getting you to like him and making you happy after you two started your littleâŠthing."Â
"You may not pay attention, but I do," she practically scolded. "Now, a month ago you were excited to meet him when he got back, and then you let your thoughts get away from you and itâs fucking everything up."Â
To your own shame, you couldn't deny that. So you didn't bother, rather opting to nibble on your thumbnail.
"They'll be back soon, so are you coming with me or not?"
â
He didnât know what he was doing, standing there with his bag over his shoulder. But he felt like a heavy weight, an anchor in a sea of levity. Looking around, the men and women heâd been packed in with for the last six months were thrilled, the room sprinkled with smiles and laughs of giddiness in anticipation of having their families in their arms again.Â
He didnât have that.Â
He wanted to have it, but that was fully reliant on you. Your feelings. Your wants and desires. Your plan for your future. Jake could imagine a world where he had the strength to beg to be a part of your lifeâto plead as desperately as if fighting for enough air to fill his lungsâbut reality made that entirely out of his will and control. So he didn't shove his way forward when they made it home. He couldn't bring himself to jump in front of the others who had people waiting for them upon their return. Instead, he let them file out, his team included, until he was one of the final few to step back on dry, solid land.Â
As he walked by couple after couple, family after family, his already weak composure began to crumble at its edges. The people milling around him felt like a mocking montage of the life he didnât have. Men and women kissing their partners or spouses, hugging their children with no intent of letting go, their tears coating the ground with joy.Â
Jake's chest constricted. He needed to get himself on the other side of it, but weaving through the mass of bodies proved harder than he expected.Â
His shoulders bumped into theirs, his chest skimming across backs and limbs when he turned to his side to sneak through narrow openings. Little kids ran into his legs like spinning tops on the loose from their wound-up energy finally releasing, though each one quickly recovered and returned to their parents, maintaining the same level of enthusiasm they had prior to smacking face-first into a muscled calf.Â
With each unintentional nudge, he apologized, but no one so much as noticed, too engrossed in their relief at making it home unscathed or in seeing their loved ones still intact. Somewhere, his teammates were doing the same. Theyâd found their partners, and he thought heâd found his, but his overconfidence in your feelings kept him from ensuring you were actually together. And maybe it was too late. Maybe he would have no choice but to watch you move on from him. Â
Finally breaking through the edge of the crowd, Jake took his first deep breath. He didnât look back as he made his way to his truck. He didnât turn when rushed footsteps grew closer until they sounded as if right on his tail.Â
âJake.â
He paused and sighed. He shouldâve known he would imagine your voice. Six months without that lovely sound, his only chance at hearing it being within his dreams, took its toll. It haunted him like a ghost on that ship. Of course it wouldnât cease just because he was home.
âI was calling you, but you didnât hear me.â There was a soft chuckle, then, âWell, at least I hope you didnât hear me.â
He spun on his heel and was greeted with your smile. It lacked its carefree nature, instead just barely failing to conceal a twinge of nerves, but beautiful nonetheless. He couldnât help but smile back.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â he asked, taking a few steps closer.Â
âI came with Penny.â The roundness of your cheeks turned pink from your blush. You lightly shrugged. âI missed you.â
With those words, Jake knew Rooster was deserving of a swift smack upside the head, one he very well may deliver. You cared. You missed him, even.Â
Fucking Rooster.
âOh, I, um,â you continued, your eyes falling down to your hand. âI got you these. It feels silly now, but at the time I thought they would be nice, I guess.â
He followed your line of sight to the small bundle in your hand. Five long stems were tight in your grip, the bulbs on their ends made up of layers of silky red petals.Â
"I was thinking," you swallowed hard and met his gaze, "I don't actually know if you like flowers. And if you do, I didn't know your favorite. I just picked mine." The sweet grin that returned to your face practically demanded he kiss you. Your lips, your cheeks, your forehead, your nose. All of you. Every little bit.Â
And you weren't wrong. He hadn't had a favorite.Â
He did now.Â
Jake swallowed through the tightness in his throat, fighting back the stinging in the corners of his eyes.Â
He didn't get gifts, and certainly not from the women he was with. But then again, with the exception of you, he hadn't chosen to be with a woman for more than a night or two in the last decade.Â
"I like the yellow ones but they symbolize friendship and that wasn't really what I was going for, so Iâ"
"I love you.â
Your smile, your jaw, your hand, fell. "YouâŠwhat?"
He let out a chuckle and reached for you. "Come here."
You didn't hesitate sliding your hand into his and he quickly pulled you to him, your chests hitting, lips meeting with an intensity that he hoped expressed even just a lick of how much he missed you. You draped your arms around his shoulders and the petals of the flowers tickled the nape of his neck.Â
"Six months was too long," you whispered when you separated.Â
He nudged his nose against yours. "Way too long."
---
tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @cinderellasmissingshoe @leila22rogers
#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin#top gun maverick#jake seresin fic#jake hangman seresin x reader#top gun#jake hangman seresin fic#top gun hangman#jake hangman seresin x y/n#jake seresin fanfiction#jake seresin fanfic#jake seresin fluff#jake hangman seresin x you#jake seresin imagine#jake seresin x you#jake hangman x reader#tgm fic#tgm
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Heyo! I saw your requests were open and knew I had to slide in on this.
So I was hoping to request something with fem!Reader with Renee Rapps Regina George. That idea is that reader just has absolutely no dirt on her(reader out here being the golden child). Anyway it passes on Regina to no end, especially because she can't intimidate the taller girl.
One day, they are arguing in the halls, and the reader just kinda grabs her by the lapels of her jacket or front of her shirt and pulls her in really close. Says something along the lines of her not being able to do anything and not piss her off. Then a switch just kinda flips in Regina, like, ah shit, did I find that hot?
Anyway, proceed with Regina trying her best to get reader to date her, and it just kinda being brushed off for a while. You do whatever you gotta do, and if you don't wanna do this, totally get it.
..... holy cow, sorry for all of the writing. I just saw you like detailed asks and went overboard. Whoops, anyway, love your writing, and I hope you have an absolutely fabulous day/night!! đđđ
Regina George is a Bottom
Description: Regina is frustrated that Reader doesn't care for her. One day, after an argument, Regina realizes she might not be the apex predator after all.
WARNINGS: reader being a little shit, regina gay panicking, mentions of masturbation, slight smut at the end, slight choking (regina receiving)
Regina considered herself an amicable person.
She liked to think that after dying for 15 seconds, not much could bother her.
Boy, was she wrong.
Y/N Y/L/N seemed to be the only person in the whole school that didn't care what was going on with Regina. For example, when Regina got blasted with the sprinklers, and one girl asked why she hadn't changed her look, Y/N simply responded, "Who cares what makeup look Regina is wearing?"
When Regina got hit by the bus, she received multiple cards from people at school, one being from her entire english class. Even high on pain meds, she noticed the one signature missing. Y/N.
When the teacher asked Y/N to sign it, the girl responded, "Why would I sign a card for something that could've been avoided?"
When Regina healed and came back to school, she made it her mission to at least befriend Y/N. She started trying to make small talk with the girl, only receiving short answers. She tried to invite the girl to sit with her at lunch, only for her to say no.
Regina was about to explode. Why didn't she have an effect on this girl? Why did she seem to not care about her? Why is she so hot?
What?
Regina tried to shake that thought from her head. She wasn't gay. She just thought Y/N was nice to look at. She thought a lot of girls were nice to look at, that didn't mean she wanted to have sex with them.
She wanted to have sex with Y/N. Wait..
Was Regina gay?
She needed to talk to someone gay.
Janis was not surprised to see Regina at her door, asking if they could talk. She knew this day would come eventually and after presenting the Lesbian Masterdoc like a Ted Talk, Regina came to a conclusion.
She was gay. And she wanted Y/N.
Over the next few weeks, she would not take no for an answer from the girl and the blonde is beginning to irritate Y/N. She won't leave her alone. They only share two classes together but Regina has made to her mission to sit next her for both.
Y/N didn't want to admit that Regina was kinda growing on her. She knew how the blonde worked. She knew of her reputation to string people along and dump them. Plus, she wasn't even sure Regina was gay.
The blonde was persistent, Y/N will give her that. She wanted to see how far Regina would go. Or if she would ever tell Y/N if she was gay or not.
Regina was at her breaking point. She had no idea what else to do. She had done all her usual tricks, but none of them were working on Y/N. The girl was like a brick wall. Nothing was getting through to her.
So, Regina did what Regina does best, she made a show out of it.
Boy, did it backfire on her.
She decided to confront Y/N during a passing period, towards the end of it. They both had a free period so it wasn't like they were running late to go anywhere.
"Why do you not like me?"Y/N looked at the blonde confused, closing her locker. "Excuse me?" Regina huffed. "Why don't you like me?" Y/N rolled her eyes. and started to walk down the now empty hall, Regina right on her tail.
"I never said I didn't like you Regina." Regina scoffed. "You don't have to say it. I already know, I just wanna know why." Y/N kept walking, ignoring the question. Regina had enough and grabbed Y/N's arm roughly, turning the girl around.
"Answer me!"
What happened next awoke something in Regina.
Y/N gently wrapped her hand around Regina's throat, squeezing gently. "I'm gonna have to ask you to remove your hand from my arm George. I never said I didn't like you. I know your tricks. But since you're so desperate, tomorrow, 8 o'clock, be ready because I'm taking you out."
Y/N released her grip and walked away from the shocked blonde. Regina stayed rooted to her spot in the hallway. She didn't know if she was horny or nervous. She simply collected herself, walked to her jeep, and drove home, skipping the rest of the day.
After a session with her vibrator, she realized that she was in fact horny and came to the thought of Y/N's hand wrapped around her throat again.
Laying in bed, extremely satisfied, she came to one conclusion.
She was in fact a bottom.
Her conclusion would be confirmed less than 24 hours later, when Y/N had her bent over in the back of her car, strap pounding her pussy until she saw stars.
#regina george x reader#regina george imagine#mean girls 2024#mean girls imagines#regina george smut
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hector x reader heavy heavy angst? Idkđđ
HEAVY SECRETS // H.FORT
summary: you and hector have a rough week and past relations and secrets keep pilling up until you both explode
content: angst and more angst
warnings: mentions of sensitive topics, curse words
words: 2552
a/n: i almost wrote a whole story, somebody stop me
You sat in the front row of the small crowd, watching as Hector ran up and down the field kicking the ball back and forth. You had a fight this morning over your constant worrying, but in truth, you couldn't help it. Hector getting hurt out on the field was a very real concern and your constant worrying caused some tension in the relationship. You couldn't stand to think about what would happen if Hector was seriously hurt out there on the field.
You watched the game intently, clutching the armrests tight in worry. Hector had already been slammed into by the opposing team once, and you couldn't help but shiver as the memory of Hector wincing in pain flashed through your mind. The whole day so far had been a mess, and you were scared of what would come next.
The game began drawing to a close, and you glanced up at the scoreboard to see that Hector's team was in the lead. In 10 more minutes you would be going home, free until his next game. That morning's fight replayed in your mind, and you couldn't help but wince. Just a few more minutes and you could talk to him.
The final whistle blew and you breathed a sigh of relief, standing up to get ready to leave. Looking back down at the field you saw Hector looking directly at you, his sharp eyes narrowed and not looking happy one bit. Your heart sank a little bit as you slowly walked out through the crowds and towards the door for the player's hallway.
It only took a minute to find him, and as you approached you noticed just how tense he was. The muscles in his back and his shoulders seemed to bulge, ready to snap at a moments notice. As you approached, Hector turned to look at you, his face dark and expressionless. He didn't say anything, just gestured for you to walk forward towards the parking lot.
The walk was silent, Hector's tense rage filling the air around him. The drive home was just as tense; no radio no talk, just deafening silence. Hector's hands were tight around the wheel, and you were silently praying the drive would go quickly.
The drive home felt like an eternity, with only the sounds of the car and Hector's harsh breathing. You couldn't understand why he was so mad - his team had won, so what was the problem? Maybe if you tried to breach the silence it might make the drive easier.
"Hector...?"
There was a moment of silence after you spoke, and you wondered if Hector had even heard you. When he spoke, his voice was tight and controlled, trying not to snap.
"What."
"Why are you so mad?"
Hector didn't respond initially, just staring out the windscreen as if he hadn't heard you. Then he spoke, and his voice was very clearly holding back his anger.
"TĂș que crees? (Why do you think?)"
You were completely baffled. Sure, you had had an argument this morning, and you weren't in his good books, but he had just won a game and you were about to go home and relax together. There was no need to be mad.
"I don't know. You won the game, so why are you so mad at me?"
Hector didn't speak for a moment, as if trying to find the right words. When he did speak, his voice was still very controlled and restrained.
"Because you constantly worry about me and try to take control of everything I do to "keep me safe". It drives me mad every damn game, and especially this one."
You were stunned. You hadn't realised that your worrying had pissed him off so much. Sure, he had mentioned it once or twice in the past, but you never thought it was this serious. You opened your mouth to say something, but Hector carried on talking before you could say a word.
"You're always worrying about me getting hurt. Even when I tell you I'm fine you don't listen. It's like you don't trust me to take care of myself!"
He sounded frustrated and angry, but underneath the heat in his voice you could hear a slight tinge of hurt.
Hector was gripping the wheel tight, his knuckles almost white. His jaw was clenched tight so as to keep himself under control. It had been a hell of a game today, both on and off the field...
"You always do this! You always drive me mad with your stupid worrying, and you never listen to me when I actually need you to..."
The car rolled up to a stop in the driveway, and the only sound was that of the car engine. You had wanted to say more, to reassure him that it wasn't like that and that you listened to him, but you never got the chance. Hector switched off the engine and stepped out of the car, and you felt your anxiety start to rise.
You followed Hector up the stairs of your shared apartment, and it was like walking towards your own execution. Hector was ahead of you, and even without seeing his face, you could sense the anger rolling off him. You were both quiet as he fished the apartment keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door.
Neither of you said anything for the rest of the night, and you both went about your usual nightly routine without speaking. Dinner was a silent and tense affair, with neither of you speaking a word. Throughout the night you could feel Hector's eyes watching you, filled with silent anger.
During dinner, as you sat across the table from Hector, you could feel his eyes constantly on you. His stare was like a million needles burning into your skin, and it was almost painful to look at him. You knew immediately that he knew something that he was mad about, but what?
It didn't take long for you to remember the secret you had been hiding from him for months.
You knew that you should have told him ages ago, but you were scared of his reaction and his anger. The fact that you had kept it from him for so long was bound to make him more mad, and as you looked at him, you swore you could see a fire of anger in his eyes. The whole day was silent, and when you'd finished eating, Hector spoke for the first time in hours.
"Follow me."
You did as he said, and followed as he walked into your living room. He gestured for you to sit down, and you perched on the edge of the couch as he sat in an armchair across from you. There was silence for a moment, and as Hector looked at you, you could feel the anger rolling off him in waves.
You knew what was coming and you braced yourself, waiting for the inevitable. Hector's face was a mask of control and anger, and when he finally spoke, his voice was very clearly trying to hold back his anger.
"You've been hiding something from me, haven't you?"
Your heart sank as he spoke, and you found yourself frozen in place. There was nothing you could say to defend yourself, and you could tell by the look on his face that he already knew what you'd hidden from him. All you could do was nod at his question, and wait for the blow.
Hector had figured it out, and you could tell by the way that he was looking at you. The anger and betrayal was clear in his eyes, and you had never felt so awful.
"I can't believe you. How long have you been meeting up with him behind my back?"
Your whole body felt numb as he spoke, shame and guilt washing over you in waves. You swallowed once, but found that your throat was dry.
"About...three months..."
Hector's face darkened as you spoke, and you could see his jaw tense and his hands ball into fists on the arms of the chair.
"Three months." His voice was controlled, but you could tell he was struggling. "You've been meeting up with your ex for three. Goddamn. Months."
You nodded once, fighting back the tears in your eyes. You wanted to speak, to tell him that you were sorry and that it wasn't how it looked, but you knew that it wouldn't do any good. Hector was furious, and you had made the grave mistake of lying to him.
Hector's voice was laced with a dark sarcasm, and his eyes were like knives as he spoke.
"No me lo puedo creer. (I can't believe you) Just today you were going on and on about how worried you were about me, yet you've been meeting up with your ex behind my back for three damn months!"
You winced as he spoke, and your heart felt like it was shattering. You had been trying to protect him from your stupid mistake, but it had all backfired.
"But...I really was worried about you!" You tried to defend yourself, but your voice sounded weak even to your own ears.
You wanted to say more, to make him understand why you had done it, but Hector cut you off before you could get a word in.
"Save it." His voice was tight, and you could see the muscles in his jaw rippling. He sat back on his chair, staring at you with his hands clenched tight. Despite his words, you continued trying to explain.
"But...it was a mistake. It's something I regret, and I was only meeting up with him because he needed the money-"
Your explanation was cut off again when Hector spoke up, his eyes narrowing at your words.
"What, so you didn't trust me enough to tell me that you were meeting up with your ex? You didn't think I'd be able to help and you just hid it from me?"
You felt your heart drop, and you knew instantly that he had a point. Why hadn't you trusted Hector? Why hadn't you just told him and been honest?
"That's not it!" You protested, even though you knew he was right. "I just...I just...I didn't want you to worry about me, and I thought I could deal with it!" You were grasping at excuses, trying desperately to make this right.
You stood up from the couch and walked over to Hector, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder.
"Please Hector, just listen. I'm sorry I lied to you, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to worry you-"
Before you could touch him, Hector stood up from his chair and stepped to the side, avoiding your hand. He looked down at you, the anger still clear in his eyes.
"Bullshit. You didn't trust me, and that's why you hid it from me. You were scared that I wouldn't understand, that you couldn't rely on me."
You felt a surge of frustration and anger at his words, and you stepped back from him. "You're one to talk! You're always gone, with your football and your games! You're never around enough to listen to me, so how am I supposed to rely on you for anything?!"
Hector's eyes darkened as you spoke, and his jaw twitched with anger.
"That's different! Football is my job, and you know that. And I can listen to you when I have the time, but I can't be there for you if you don't tell me what's going on in the first place!"
You huffed, the frustration and anger building inside you. "And how am I supposed to tell you anything, when you're never around?! You think I don't want to talk to you, to tell you about the things that are going on? You hardly have time for me anymore!"
Hector clenched his jaw tighter and stepped closer to you, his eyes flashing. "Don't you tell me that. You know how busy I got now with the first team. With all the training and the workouts and the games. It's not my fault I can't be here all the damn time."
The frustration and anger within you boiled over into sadness and defeat. You couldn't keep going on like this, pretending to rely on each other when in truth you were both too busy with your own things.
"Then why are we even together?" Your voice was quieter, and you couldn't bring yourself to look at him.
Hector's face was a mixture of shock and hurt at your words, and his hands tensed at his sides. "What...? What do you mean, why are we even together? We...we're a couple. That's why."
His voice was tight and strained, and you could tell that your words had cut him deep.
You were so tired, physically and emotionally. This entire night had strained you past your limits, and all you wanted to do was sleep. You looked up at Hector, meeting his hurt and angry gaze for a moment before looking away.
"I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight. I'm too tired to deal with this."
Hector was silent for a moment before he gritted out a response. "Fine. Go sleep in the guest room then. Me da igual. (I don't care)"
His voice was harsh, but you could hear the hurt and anger in his words. He was hurting, and badly.
As soon as the door closed behind you, the tears you had been holding back all night finally began to fall. You stumbled over to the bed and flopped down, the sobs wracking through your body as you buried your face in a pillow.
The pain and regret of the night were suddenly overwhelming, and you felt a deep sense of sadness and loss. How had things gotten so bad between you and Hector? Why hadn't you just told him the truth in the first place?
You let out a strangled sob as the realization set in. It was all too late now. You had waited too long to tell Hector the truth, and now it had spiraled out of control. You had lost the baby he never knew of without telling him, your ex knew and was holding it over your head.
The thought of Hector finding out the truth from someone other than you sent another wave of sobs through your body, and you clutched at the pillow as if it was a lifeline. This was a disaster, and it was all your fault.
Hector slumped down into his own armchair and buried his face in his hands. The whole night had gone so wrong, and he still couldnât wrap his head around it.
The look on your face when you questioned your relationship wouldnât stop flashing through his mind. It had cut him deep, and the hurt and anger that had flared up in him when he heard those words wouldnât go away. He loved you, and now you were telling him that you didnât want to be with him anymore?
Hector let out a deep sigh, gripping his hair tight as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. Why hadnât you just told him that your ex was blackmailing you, that he needed money? How could you have thought that he wouldnât be there for you? He would have done anything to help you, but you had kept it from him and now it was all falling apart.
PART 2!
#hector fort#hector fort x reader#hector fort x you#fc barcelona x reader#fcb x reader#marc guiu#marc guiu x reader#pablo gavi x reader#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n
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The only fool on April Fools'
Natasha thought she came up with the best prank ever. But she forgot exactly who she was trying to prank.
âą Natasha Romanoff x Fem!OC âą Wordcount: 2.7k âą Warnings: suggestive talk Masterlist
Do not repost my work as your own or translate my work!!
A/N: a late birthday post from me :)
2028
Natasha could not stop looking at her hands on the steering wheel. More specifically, she couldn't stop looking at her nails. Every time they caught her eye when she went to change the song on the radio or flick her blinker, the smuggest smirk took over her entire face.
She'd been thinking long and hard about this year's prank. April Fools' Day was a serious occasion for her and Katya, a holiday they planned for for months. It started in 2010 when Natasha had been brave enough to prank her girlfriend at the time, and it developed from there. The only rule they had was that the pranks shouldn't be too humiliating. Just funny. So there was a lot of creative freedom.
This year, she really nailed it. It was hilarious. She was hilarious, and Katya was going to be so pissed. She thought Natasha had just gone to get a haircut, but she'd be getting the worst surprise of her life when she showed her what she'd actually been doing in the city.
Was it cruel? Yes. But Katya replaced all the Oreo cookie filling with toothpaste last year. Natasha's Oreo cookies. And she filled a donut with mayo. So Natasha wanted to let her feel that same pain. Only more subtly.
When she walked into the house, pushing her smirk aside for the sake of the prank, the smell of cake filled her nostrils. It smelled delicious, like chocolate and butter. A special recipe that Katya had been meaning to try. Too bad that Natasha wouldn't be eating a single piece of it, considering there was probably salt in it instead of sugar, but at least she knew where to find her darling wife.Â
Prepared to feel incredibly smug and pleased, she strolled into the kitchen. Katya stood with her back turned, softly singing a song as she mixed something with the handheld electronic mixer. The noise drowned out the sound of Natasha's footsteps, so she didn't hear her come in. It only prolonged the excitement. "Smells good in here."
Katya jumped, quickly turning off the mixer. "Oh. Hi, baby!" An adoring smile spread across her lips as she turned around. Natasha almost felt bad for her upcoming prank. Almost. "Let me see your hair." A crease formed between her brows as she studied Natasha's long red locks. "It doesn't look any different," she said carefully, as if she was afraid to offend her new haircut.
Natasha smiled sheepishly, glancing down at her hands. "Yeah, well, you know⊠I was planning on getting my hair done, but then I passed a nail salon, and, wellâŠ" Instead of explaining, she simply brought her hands up, holding her nails out for Katya to see.
When the nail stylist asked her what shape she wanted, Natasha told her to go for the pointest, most stabby looking nail she could do, and she hadn't disappointed. Two inches long, all of them ended in a point that could seriously poke somebody's eye out. The deep red color and the black details turned them into the sexiest murder weapons she'd ever had. The sexiest, most inconvenient weapons ever. They were lowkey homophobic.
She saw the different emotions cross Katya's face one by one. Excitement, at first. Probably because she was happy Natasha spoiled herself, or she liked the nails. Then hesitation. Then realization. Then anger, which manifested with a slight twitch of her brows. And lastlyâŠ
Actually, Natasha couldn't decipher the emotion that slid over the anger. It was like Katya mentally paused before she could get really angry, and then decided on a different course. All of it happened within a second. Her brain was just that fast at assessing a situation.
An excited gasp flew from her lips. "They look so good, honey!" Katya exclaimed, carefully taking Natasha's hands in her own to see her nails better. "The design is so simple yet so elegant. It really suits you!"
Natasha inwardly frowned, her smugness plummeting. This was not the reaction she had been hoping for. Not by miles. But she wasn't giving up yet. "What do you think about the length?" She smiled, mirroring Katya's excitement. "I wanted to go even longer, but I've never had nails before so I didn't want to overdo it."
"No, I love it! It suits your hand shape really well."Â
To Natasha's even bigger surprise, Katya let her hands go to grab her cheeks instead, pulling her close to press a sweet kiss to her lips. Her blue eyes sparkled joyfully. "I'm so glad you treated yourself to something nice. You deserve it."
Then she turned around and went back to making the icing for her cake.Â
Natasha stood there, lost, wondering how this had gone completely the opposite way of how she wanted. Katya was supposed to be upset, asking her what she was thinking, getting long ass nails as a woman in a lesbian relationship. With those weapons on her fingers, she could not use them for her favorite activity whatsoever.Â
But instead of getting pissed, Katya got the opposite. She happily sang, swaying her body as she finished mixing her icing. Not a care in the world.
Natasha's prank had dramatically failed.
"Look how good this looks." Katya suddenly turned around, a big scoop of chocolate icing on her pointer finger. Slowly, she brought it to her lips, sucking her finger into her mouth and pulling it out. "Hmm, so good," she moaned.
The very bottom part of Natasha's stomach twisted into knots. She couldn't find her words as she watched Katya lick off the icing in a way that was incredibly sensual. And not by accident.
''Yep, that's done!" She beamed. Katya covered the bowl with some foil and put it in the fridge, happily twirling around to a still frozen Natasha. ''I'm going to lift some weights. Could use a spotter.''
''Iâ'' Natasha mentally slapped herself, swallowing thickly. ''Sure.''
Katya perked up. ''Okay. Give me a minute to change.''
She wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what those nails meant. It meant her wife was an ass. An ass who didn't want to get laid for a few weeks, apparently.Â
Her first instinct was to get pissed. Get pissed at Natasha for partly ruining their sex life. Because while they owned many replacements, Natasha's fingers would always be her favorite, and they were not going up there looking like that.Â
But then Katya realized that getting angry was exactly what her wife was after. And what better way to ruin a prank by pretending not to see it? In fact, she was going to throw Natasha's own prank right back at her, make her miserable. Show her that getting these nails would come back to bite her in the ass. Fast.
Nobody messed with her.
Choosing her smallest sports bra and tightest cycling shorts, Katya threw her hair up and returned to Natasha. The woman seemed to be disoriented, or at least deep in thought. She was in the exact spot Katya left her ten minutes earlier, frowning at the countertop. When she did look up, Katya purposely flexed her biceps as she tightened her ponytail, drawing Natasha's gaze directly to her arms.
Her green eyes darkened as they took in Katya's figure. Everything that wasn't bare skin was skin-tight. And while her body didn't look the way it did when she was twenty-fourâduhâNatasha still thought it was hot as hell. She wanted to grab it, bend it over the counterâ
''Earth to Nat.''
Natasha rapidly blinked, pulling her head out of the clouds. ''Hm?''
Katya had a huge grin on her face that she tried to hide. ''I said; are you coming?''
''Oh, yes.''
She didn't even try to not stare at Katya's ass as the brunette walked in front of her. It was right there, shaking in those spandex shorts. The urge to grab it and press her nailsâoh. With a frown, Natasha looked down at her pointy nails. She couldn't grab Katya's butt and press the top of her nails down at the same time.
''HmmâŠ'' Katya stopped in the doorframe of the garageâtheir home gym. ''What do you reckon I should do first?''
''Ass.'' Natasha was just in time to bring her gaze upwards when Katya spun around, staring straight into her raised eyebrow. Her cheeks heated up when she realized what her half-horny brain had thrown out. ''I meant squats.''
''Squats it is.'' Katya smiled.
Even the process of setting it all up drove Natasha up the wall. To get the weights on the bar, Katya had to lift them, and because she barely wore a shirt, her back, shoulder, and arm muscles visibly flexed for Natasha to see. Her hands itched, but she suspected Katya was playing a game, and she wasn't going to give in.
They both weren't going to give in. So it was going to be a game of who can hold out the longest.
If things progressed this way, Natasha was one hundred percent sure she was going to lose.
''Okay.'' Katya excessively bent over to put her resistance band down. She'd warmed her musclesâdoing some very deep deep squatsâand secured her ponytail once more. ''I'm ready.''
Natasha knew it was going to be a mistake when she stepped behind Katya. She knew she was digging her own grave. The brunette pressed her ass into her front and flexed her muscles way more than necessary as she adjusted her grip on the bar resting on her shoulders. Natasha clenched her jaw to keep still and quiet, but the frustration started to build.Â
Down Katya went for the first squat, pausing a few seconds before she went up again. Natasha squatted along with her, forcing herself to pay attention to the bar and only the bar. She wondered if she could even close her hands around it in case Katya needed her help. Those damn claws of her were probably in the way.Â
She was about to breathe out in relief when Katya didn't pull any stunts on the way up.Â
Then she let out the sexiest grunt ever.Â
Natasha nearly collapsed through her knees. Dirty memories of times where Katya grunted like that flashed through her head. Half an hour of teasing and she was on the very edge of damning it all to hell. Screw her dignity. She wanted something else to screw, and fast.
Down, Katya went again, audibly breathing out as she went down, and grunting when she straightened up. Down, breathing out. Up, grunting.Â
Three times, Natasha kept herself together with great difficulty. On the forth grunt, her sexual frustration snapped.
''Put it down.''
Katya smirked to herself. She expected her wife to keep it together a bit longer, but obviously her plan was working. ''What? Why? I've just started,'' she said innocently, pretending to be extremely confused the same way she'd been pretending to be stupid.
''Put the thing down.''
Carefully, Katya racked the bar, furrowing her brows as she turned to face the fuming redhead. Before she could blink, Natasha had her pinned against one of the squat rack's poles. She felt all that frustration in the way her spine bumped against the metal. ''What's going on?'' Her eyes widened like that of a deer in headlights.
''Stop playing dumb.''
''Playing dumb?''
Natasha took one good look at her and knew she wasn't going to give in. Katya could play the innocent persona as long as she wished to, no matter what threat Natasha would sling at her head. Torture training as a kid clearly worked better for her. The only thing she had to do was grunt a bit and Natasha was a goner.
A groan of frustration filled the garage. This was cruelty in the most ruthless way. Dangling the richest, most tasteful, most expensive wine in front of an alcoholic but not letting them have a taste. Collecting all her self-control, Natasha backed away, stalking off without so much as another word.
Katya snickered proudly, smirking as she turned back to the squat rack. Her plan was going amazingly so far. These weren't the only tricks up her sleeve.Â
The torture continued throughout the day. She was doing the dishes? She accidentally got the front of her shirt all wet, and didn't happen to wear a bra. The dinner table needed a good clean? She was bent all over that thing trying to get the spots in the middle. She was vacuuming? She was on her hands and knees on the floor trying to vacuum underneath the couch.
Wherever Natasha went, she also miraculously had to be. The redhead could not escape her. It was torture training. But in a way she'd never been tortured before.
The weapons on her hands had gone from ''the funniest things ever'' to ''I'm going to rip my whole nail off if it means I get to stuff my hand down her pants''. She couldn't take it anymore. Sexual frustration built and built until her stomach was in a permanent knot and her hands were constantly sweaty.
Two hours before Maya was meant to be coming home, Natasha couldn't take it anymore. The groans, grunts, and sighs, and the positions Katya bent her body in finally pushed her over the edge.Â
Fine, her wife had won. But taking a hit to her ego and pride was worth it if she could finally get her hands between those legs.
She didn't even bother soaking her nails off. She simply took nail cutters to them and cut them all off as short as possible. Then she filed them down roughly, paying extra attention to the middle three fingers of her left hand, and tossed everything in the trash.
Katya heard her coming from miles away, her rushed footsteps before Natasha cornered her in the laundry room. She saw them immediately; her nails. Or the lack thereof.Â
Concerned, she dropped a t-shirt back in the laundry basket, trying to reach for her hands. ''Oh, no, what did you do to your nails?''
But Natasha wasn't taking this innocent bullshit anymore. ''You drive me absolutely nuts. You pest,'' she grumbled. Her voice lacked serious anger as she slowly backed Katya up against the washing machine. Instead, it was laced with reluctant defeat and annoyance. Annoyance at herself.
A sly smile overtook Katya's features as she gripped the edge of the machine for stability. It looked like her wife had been through it. ''Ready to admit you made a mistake then?''
''I hate you.''Â
Katya chuckled softly. ''You dug your own grave, babe. Worst prank ever. Well, for you then. It was so much fun for me.'' She smirked teasingly as she slowly trailed her fingers up Natasha's arm. The game was still going on. Even now. The glare Natasha sent her was weak at most. ''Don't forget who you're messing with.''Â
Natasha rolled her eyes, leaning forward to connect their lips, thinking this was it. But Katya jerked her head back, amusement swimming in her eyes.Â
''Nuh-uh. Say it.''
''Say it?'' The redhead grumbled impatiently, seconds away from throwing a fit.Â
Katya nodded smugly, her fingers slowly trailing down Natasha's arm. ''I need to hear it. IâŠ''
Natasha clenched her teeth together to swallow back the vile words and accusations that Katya would only laugh at. She didn't think she would be this cruel, giving her dignity another slap in the face by making her vocally admit her mistake like a child. Unfortunately, Natasha didn't have another option.Â
She squinted her eyes, placing as much displeasure in her words as she could. ''I made a mistake thinking I could outsmart my mean, cruel wife.''
Happy, Katya grinned, grabbing Natasha's hips to pull them flush against her own. This victory tasted sweeter than her chocolate cake downstairs. She won April Fools'. And she didn't even have to do anything for it. ''You know, it's really not my fault you get so riled up.''
Natasha usually loved to bicker, but she couldn't take it anymore. Her gaze kept drifting down from Katya's eyes to her lips when she talked, and if she wouldn't get her mouth or hands on her body right this instant, she was going to explode. ''Respectfully, shut up. You had your fun, now it's time for mine.''
''Yeah, those nails aren't going up there looking like that.''
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Jay Halstead: The Man Who Loves HerÂ
The link to the song that inspired this is here. This was healing for me to write. I hope everyone finds someone who will defend and protect them like Jay Halstead. Â
Warnings: Daddy issue & alcoholism Â
The bar was a hole in the wall. It was dingy but Jay had been in worse for work. Unfortunately, this unsavory stop had nothing to do with his job, and he knew he couldnât get this bastard to bend to his will by flashing his badge. He knew he would get no satisfaction out of the encounter, more likely to be more pissed off than anything.Â
He saw his target sitting at the bar in a dark corner. A beer was in his hand still chilled and two more empty next to him. Jay took a breath and then another to calm his anger. Â
An attempt that failed.Â
He charges over to the man with purpose and clears his throat. The man in front of him grunts. It pushes Jayâs buttons a little too well. He clears his throat again louder, and this time when he gets the same response, he slams his hand a little too roughly on the man's shoulder. It has the intended effect; the man turns to growl at Jay. âDo I know you?âÂ
âYou would have if you had bothered to show up tonight.â The man sighs heavily and turns forward waving his hand in a clear dismissal as he takes another sip of a beer. Jay feels the anger start to bleed into fury. He let a breath out of his nose. He sits down on the stool next to the man. He grabs the bottle that's up to the other man's lips and slams it back onto the bar. Foam and beer spurts on the bar top. Eyes flash towards the disturbance.Â
âListen,â His tone is low and with a razorblade edge. âThis isn't some shit that you get to wave away. She waited for you for hours. What the fuck was the point of making plans with her if you had no intention of showing up?â Your father glances down refusing to make eye contact with Jayâs icy blue gaze. âNo, I was the one who pushed her to meet up with you again. The least you can do is look me in the eyes and talk to me man to man.â Jay slams his hand down the bar top when the man's stubborn gaze still refuses to meet his. His gaze shoots up at the noise.Â
 More curious looks but Jay didnât give a fuck about the scene he was causing. âYou're a real piece of work, you know that.â Â
âI tried my best,â Jay scoffed, his hands unconsciously turning to fists.Â
âYour best? Bailing out of her when she needed you as a kid? Whirlwining in and out of her life for her early twenties? Not even being able to keep a fucking dinner that you invited her to? If thatâs your best, I hate to see what you not caring looks like.â Â
âIt was just a bad time- a rough day- she will understand. She always does.â Jay was practically vibrating with anger. Â
Your father hadnât seen your doubt on his return. Hadn't heard you wave off the possibility of getting together. He hadnât been there when Jay persuaded you into making those plans thinking it would be good for you- thinking it would help mend fences. He hadnât seen the indifference turn to uncontrollable tears as the time passed in the restaurant. He didnât know the fallout of his actions. The trust issues you had. The inability to believe that someone would stick around. He didnât get crushed by the lack of self-confidence you had. Â
Jay did.Â
He was the one who had to heal the wounds that your father had left etched into your heart. The slow pace and the backtracking in your relationship. He had thought that he understood the problems you had with your dad. That he knew the pain that your dad had caused you. He now knew that you had downplayed the severity. You had clearly given him more than the benefit of the doubt. He felt like a complete asshole for pushing. His fatherâs death and the damage it had caused him were projected onto you instead. Â
âWe will try to get together again-â The beer never far from his fingertips returned to his lips to take another long pull. It was compulsory and Jay wanted to break his fingers. Â
âNo.â Jay growled definitely. Â
âNow son,âÂ
âIâm not your son. And if you think for one second that Iâm going to put her through this again, you're out of your damn mind. I wasnât under the impression that you would try to fix everything, but I thought you would at least let her know that what happened wasnât her fault.âÂ
âShe knows that. She knows I love-â
Jay scoffs and gets up to leave. Your father doesnât call after him or even acknowledge that he has got up to leave. Jay only takes a step before turning around. âYou know I pity you. Your daughter is the most amazing person. Smart, funny, and pretty. She is sensitive but tough. A better person than I will ever be.â Jay reached into his back pocket. âI love her, and I get to go home to her tonight, and every other night of my life. But you? Youâve been damned from it, and you have no one to blame but yourself. Donât call her again until you want to be a father.â Jay throws a twenty on the bar where it absorbs the spilled beer. âHere, the next round is on me.â Â
Jay doesnât look back as he exits the bar.   Â
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