#i just. dont want it in my face 50 times every time i open the app/site

[adieutristana]

nsfw headcanons; arcane women x fem!reader

still new to writing this kinda stuff yall dont kill me. anyways, here's some general headcanons. again, i'm open for nsfw requests, just please read through the new section in my rules post!

summary; general nsfw headcanons with arcane women and their girlfriend.

characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn, lest

tags; nsfw, fluff, everything is done consensually, some aftercare (full aftercare headcanons here), fingering, cunnilingus, strap-on use, strap-on referred to as dick, degradation, rough sex, nipple play, light bdsm (sevika, lest), anal (sevika, lest), public (mel), jinx being a brat, vibrator use (jinx, caitlyn) gun play (jinx), period sex mention (jinx), usage of words like ‘slut’ and ‘whore,’ sloppy shit, p in v (lest), dacryphilia (jinx, caitlyn), wax play (lest), breeding kink (vi), orgasm denial (mel, caitlyn), thigh riding (sevika, caitlyn), blowjob (lest), shimmer (jinx, lest)

men and minors dni.

jinx;

✧.* the way i interpreted it at least, what jinx received after the fight on the bridge was a sort of shimmer infusion. she's got that stuff running in her veins, and jinx is basically 50% shimmer at this point.

✧.* i bring this up because the amount of shimmer in jinx's system gives her certain.. perks. such as her stamina being that of twenty women combined, how fast and hard she can go. she'd have fun increasing the speed, fucking you harder and harder while you're a writhing mess beneath her and can only think of the pleasure she's giving you.

✧.* even while receiving, jinx can go all night if she wanted to. she won't, because you're not as energetic as she is and she needs to let you rest (as much as she wishes you could go all night). the girl would be so damn overstimulated, but still, she'll demand that you make her cum again, and again, and again. she can keep going; she can take it.

✧.* a tit girl. she doesn’t care how big or small your boobs are, as long as she gets them in her hands and mouth! it’s probably a result of how damn sensitive her own are- jinx will be whimpering mess just from you pinching her nipples a few times.

✧.* she’s a switch, and what position she takes at what given time is just dependent on her mood. jinx is always unpredictable, always keeping you on your toes. she isn’t much different in bed.

✧.* so fucking noisy, and the dirty talk is downright filthy. it's bad enough that at times, you worry your girlfriend might lose her voice. jinx is very unfiltered in general, so you'd expect no less from her in the bedroom. she sees no point in holding back. you're making her feel good, why should she hide that?

✧.* "oh, fuck! ngh, just like that, you're fucking my pussy soooo good," she'd babble, taking every inch of your strap with impressive resolve. her lips are parted, swollen and red from just how hard she'd kissed you. obscene squelching noises filling the room while you pound into her, her legs pressed to either side of her body. "y'hear it? do you? that's me, fuckin' dripping for you. need your dick, ineeditineediti need it-"

✧.* SIZE QUEEN. jinx is a petite girl, shorter and thinner than most. yet she'd insist on you fucking her and stretching her with dildos that looked monstrous next to her. she's a whiny, squealing mess as you ease each inch into her aching pussy, but she always takes it so well. there's nothing quite like the feeling of being pried open to jinx.

✧.* along with that, she's pretty flexible so you can get creative with positions. she'll let you press your knees to either side of her body, not wincing once or growing tired.

✧.* jinx does enjoy a variety of positions- doggystyle, reverse cowgirl, the like, her favorite positions are any where she can see your face. not only does it give jinx a rush to see your flushed, fucked-out expressions, but it also gives her that sense of connection to be able to look at you while you pleasure each other. she's the type to hold eye contact with you the entire time she eats you out, and to bore her gaze into yours in missionary.

✧.* she'd be riding you, arms wrapped around your chest as you piston the strap into her. she's whimpering and squealing louder and louder with each thrust, but her eyes never would leave yours. you're fucking her at an unforgiving pace, plastic tip kissing her cervix, but she still feels so at ease and cared for.

✧.* i feel like jinx would say 'i love you' at least once every time.

✧.* a munch. jinx loves it when you sit on her face, and she's the type to be downright offended if you don't put your full body weight on her. she'd tug you down by your hips before plunging her tongue deep into you without warning, earning sharp cries from you. every time she hears those noises, her ego grows bigger, and damn. you'd allow her that.

✧.* also loves to eat you out from under her workbench. seeing you in her chair, under her desk, in her space, so willingly submissive to her- it's thrilling to her and she can't quite explain it.

✧.* "fuck yes, toots," she'd grumble, pulling back from your wet heat for just a split seconds. "you taste so damn good. so fuckin' sweet and needy f'me."

✧.* a damn brat when she wants to be. she loves to rile you up, it's like a game to jinx. not so amusing for you when you're trying to fill out paperwork and jinx is groaning, taking your pen from your hand and holding it out of your reach while she tells you to just fuck her already.

✧.* "come on! that stuff is so boring, and here i am, soaked for you," she'd pout, her knees parting more beside you on the couch. "you always have to be so responsible, and it's irritating. you could be putting those hands to better use, but noooo."

✧.* or something along the lines of, “i can’t feel anything! are you sure you’re fucking me? come on, do something!”

✧.* not so mouthy when your face is buried in her cunt, that's for sure.

✧.* very into marking. placing her claim on you. almost every time, without fail, you’ve got a new array of hickeys splayed across your neck, chest, hips, and inner thighs. also very into writing on you, with permanent marker. she’d write ‘JINX’ right above your pubic bone, draw little hearts around your nipples, draw an arrow on your inner thigh pointing to your cunt that reads ‘JINX WAZ HERE!’

✧.* a crier, especially when you overstimulate her and when she orgasms. she gets embarrassed every time and tries to explain it away, but it’s just her body’s way of processing all of those sensations. poor girl can’t hold it in :(

✧.* being with jinx, it's gonna be either her tongue, a strap, or a vibrator pleasuring you, unless you can convince jinx to cut her nails. not likely, since she takes pride in their length. sorry :(

✧.* jinx isn’t afraid to get messy. she’ll be rubbing her sticky cunt against yours, having already squirted twice- her lips swollen from your kisses, thighs and lower stomach covered in sweat and cum. but she just can’t stop grinding against you, it feels so damn right.

✧.* along with that, jinx is definitely into period sex. the first time was a whirlwind, with jinx insisting she doesn’t mind and eating you out anyways. if anything, you being on your period makes jinx want to please you more so that you forget about those pesky cramps.

✧.* squirter, and her juices are tinged pink from the shimmer running through her body.

✧.* oh, you already know the prosthetic finger vibrates. she wouldn’t tell you the first time she used it, just say something like, “i’ve got somethin’ special for ya toots! what is it? well, i can’t say just yet! but you’ll love it. i know you will.”

✧.* the way you gasp as soon as you feel the vibrations against your clit and buck your hips into the metal gives jinx all that she needs.

✧.* definitely into gun play as well. seeing your pussy stretch to accommodate the barrel of her gun, the way your eyes widen and you gasp when her finger brushes over the trigger… oh, it’s art. jinx could fully get addicted to it.

vi;

✧.* A MUNCH.

✧.* it probably sounds far-fetched, but vi could cum just from eating you out. from tasting your sweet juices, the scent of your heat, the way your face contorts in pleasure, the trembling of your thighs in her hands, the obscene noises that spill from your lips, how it feels when you cum in her mouth- vi gets lost in it every single time.

✧.* it gets to a point some nights where you’ll almost have to pry vi’s face from between your legs.

✧.* likes to switch and doesn’t have a preference when it comes to top or bottom. i take her as the type who would do both during most sessions to balance things out, she gets some and you get some!

✧.* dirty talk is crazy when she’s domming, but when vi is subbing she can barely string together a coherent thought, especially not a full sentence. she tries to talk to you, tries to let you know how good you’re feeling, but it comes out more as a choppy string of moans and ‘please’s.

✧.* “oh, that feels so- haaaah, please, mm-”

✧.* vi is strong, stronger than most. meaning she can pick you up, fuck you while holding you up against a wall, or she could use that strength to slam your wrists into the mattress above your head while her free hand works at your heat. the possibilities are endless!

✧.* not necessarily loud, but she doesn’t hold back when it comes to noises either. always some form of grunting, groaning, heaving. or whimpering, when she’s on bottom.

✧.* her tits are so sensitive. she’ll try to act like it’s nothing when your hands brush over her hardened nipples, but oh gods when your lips form a seal over one and you start to swirl your tongue around it, vi loses her mind. she’s threading calloused fingers into your hair, trying to push you impossibly closer to her.

✧.* loves giving strap- she likes to receive too, but she’s more partial to giving when it comes to strap-on usage. it just gives her a rush, being on top of you, making you take her. it’s a bit of a power trip for vi.

✧.* “yeah, fucking take my cock- ngh… such a good girl for me, such a good slut.” she’s a panting mess, pounding into you from behind. your asscheeks are sore from the swats she’s given them, and you can feel vi filling you to the brim with every thrust. yet it’s intoxicating.

✧.* vi is just so smitten with you, she’ll do almost anything if you ask nicely. any position, any toys, any kink you want to try out. she’s a lover girl at heart, and aims to please above all else. all you have to do is say the word.

✧.* due to her sweet nature, vi would be so attentive during rougher sex with you. even as she’s tossing you around, coaxing what must be your fourth or fifth orgasm out of you, calling you pathetic and needy, she’d be looking out for you. one second she’s degrading you, the next she’s asking if you’re okay and if you need a break. additionally, she does internally wince when she talks down to you, though she tries to hide it. she knows you know she doesn’t actually think of you like that, but she does hold back because she can’t bear the thought of going too far with it.

✧.*despite liking to be rough from time to time, especially if she knows that you like it and you ask for it, vi also does enjoy slow, sweet lovemaking to keep things balanced. she likes being able to pleasure you, to worship you, show you exactly how much you mean to her through her touch.

✧.* “shh, baby,” she’d whisper, kissing down the valley between your breasts, towards your sternum and stomach. “i’ll make you feel good. so good. just lay your pretty self back and take it. can you do that for me, love?”

✧.* her favorite positions are probably doggystyle and 69. doggystyle gives her room to manipulate your body, a prime angle to pound into you, room to pull your hair and force you to look back at her while you’re coming undone on her dick. 69 is ideal for eating you out, but you both get off, so it’s even better. she’d be trying to stifle moans while her tongue is lapping at your clit, sending vibrations through your core when she can’t hold back anymore.

✧.* one orgasm is never enough when it comes to vi. she wants to give you more, and more, and more. her hand would be soaked and her fingers beginning to prune from just how much you’ve already given her, but she still swears you can give her one more (those words are almost always a lie).

✧.* creamer, and there’s SO much of it. the first time you made her cum you didn’t say anything, but you questioned to yourself whether this is a normal amount. but you quickly grew to love it- seeing vi make such a mess, shaking and whining.

✧.* can somebody say BREEDING KINK. no, it’s not scientifically possible for a woman to get another woman pregnant. but vi will be damned if she doesn’t try.

✧.* pistoning her strap into you while she has you folded into a mating press, grunting and panting with her hands on either side of your head. “gonna fill you up just right,” she’d say, breathless. “please, vi-” “shh. i’ll give it to you, you’ll be such a pretty mama, fuck- take it. take it all.”

✧.* while she enjoys getting her tits played with, i definitely see vi as more of an ass girl when it comes to you. she loves eating you out from behind, slapping your ass during sex, even slapping your ass in public when you’re just trying to pay the poor street vendor. she just can’t get enough of the feeling of plush skin in her hands. the shape, the sensation.

✧.* a head pusher. practically shoves your mouth into her pussy while she’s bucking into your face, groaning and panting while your tongue laps up everything she’ll give you. the proximity does something for her, but she also just… can’t help it. it’s reflex at this point. you hit just the right spot, and her strong hand is flying to the back of your head to push you even further.

✧.* RIDE HER ABS. that’s all i’ll say.

mel;

✧.* such a devoted and sweet lover. also a switch, and she truly doesn’t mind what position she takes at what moment. usually mel lets you decide, she trusts you and the pace you set.

✧.* she’s devoted to your pleasure, but she also won’t deny herself any; not by a long shot.

✧.* however, there are times when she’s had a frustrating day at work. the councilors wouldn’t listen to her, her ideas weren’t getting anywhere, she felt a mental block growing stronger with each passing second. every minute she was in that room was like torture, and all she wanted was to get home.

✧.* so the second she does, she’s asking you to lay down so she can lower her pussy onto your face and lose herself.

✧.* “please, love, make me forget- oh, shit! aah!”

✧.* mel doesn’t really curse much, so a good signifier that she’s feeling good is when you hear her swearing. she’s always so poised, so refined in the way she speaks. careful to converse in a manner becoming of a councilor, of a medarda. so when she’s making those pretty sounds, laid back with three fingers deep inside of her and you hear her swear, you know you’ve got her.

✧.* “right there, hah, mm…” she’d moan, grabbing at one of her breasts to anchor herself. “that feels so- fuck! oh, don’t stop, don’t stop!”

✧.* she’s not necessarily loud either, just the right volume to assure you that she’s feeling good.

✧.* mel’s stamina is pretty average. she knows how to pace herself, so it’s really up to you and how long you want to go for.

✧.* she prefers lovemaking and being doted on in the bedroom rather than rough sex and being denied. that’s not to say she’s opposed to trying out something more hardcore, but generally, she prefers to feel cared for in the moment. touch her, love her, worship her.

✧.* however, when she’s topping, she could deny you for hours. it’s something to do with the power she’s holding over you.

✧.* “mpph, please, just let me come, aaah.. i’ll be so good, mel.” you’d whimper, writhing beneath her touch. “shh. you’ve been so good already, but you can hold out a bit longer, can’t you? that’s my strong girl.”

✧.* partial to body worship. take your time with her, slowly removing her clothing to tell her every little thing you love about her body. her soft skin. the swells of her breasts, her lean muscle and smooth thighs. she’ll be gasping, petting your hair and praising you, letting you know what feels right. every touch from you feels like a promise, and you’ll do damn right to keep it.

✧.* TRIBBING. she especially loves being on top when it comes to scissoring, so that she can set the pace and get both of you off just right. it checks off all of mel’s boxes- proximity, close connection, being able to see your pretty face, and the fact that you both get pleasure from it.

✧.* “oh, gods, love,” she’d grunt, grinding her wet cunt into yours. strings of arousal connecting the two of you, rutting into each other. “don’t stop, unngh- that’s so good, so fucking good.. faster. faster.”

✧.* although she’s refined and poised, mel is not above fucking you in public. you’d be at a gala together, champagne glass in hand and trying to converse with others; some of the most important figures and families in piltover. yet all you can focus on is mel, the way the white dress she chose hugs the curves of her hips just right, and the slit that runs up the side. you try to be subtle, but mel is observant. she notices. and this is one of the few times where she’s a bit more rough.

✧.* “just couldn’t wait?” she’d ask, her fingers pounding into you in an empty room just outside of the crowded hall. “almost struck a deal, a good one, before you started undressing me with your eyes. it’s distracting, love.” “i’m sorry, baby,” you’d whimper, so fucking close to your peak. “sorry isn’t going to cut it. but you’re so pretty… so wet, too. i’ll be merciful.”

✧.* mel likes to set the mood. candles, maybe some soft music crackling over a stereo as well. as i keep saying, she’s a romantic! she wants you to see the effort she’s putting in for you, to know just how much she cares. all of this is worth it to her, you’re worth it.

✧.* just one is rarely enough for mel. if you’re more the one-and-done type, she won’t try to coax more orgasms out of you- but for her, she can go several rounds. back to back to back, coming undone on your fingers and mouth and strap and loving every second.

✧.* always holding onto you somehow. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she rides you, one arm around your waist to steady you while she fingers you against a wall, the like. however, mel’s favorite is holding your hand, interlacing your fingers together. it just feels so intimate, so loving. it’s also grounding in a way, she can squeeze your hands as the sensations grow stronger, or as a silent support while you teeter over the edge of climax.

✧.* aside from times like i mentioned earlier, mel isn’t really a fan of quickies. there are some exceptions, but she prefers to take it slow within the confines of a place she knows is safe. she wants to take her time to truly appreciate you, and she can’t do that if she’s got a time constraint.

✧.* says she loves you every time, probably multiple times. the intimacy of it all overpowers her. some people may think that saying ‘i love you’ over and over makes it lose meaning, but on the contrary, mel means it more each time she says it.

✧.* “oh, oh, gods… mm, i love you, right there…”

sevika;

✧.* have fun trying to move at all after sleeping with sevika.

✧.* she’s a top-leaning switch. she won’t deny pleasure herself, but she won’t ask for it either. she’s more than happy to just fuck you again and again, her pleasure being derived from the sight of your head thrown back in ecstasy and the sound of your pleasured screams.

✧.* sevika loves just about anything, but she’s partial to the strap. it gives her a rush of power, being able to split you open and fuck you so deep, so right. definitely gets one of the biggest dildos she can find to insert into the strap, just so she can make you lay there and take it.

✧.* rough, experienced, and doesn’t hold back when it comes to degradation. she’d pull her cock almost fully out of you, just leaving the tip- before slamming back in, drawing a borderline pornographic moan from your lips. “fuck, doll, you sound filthy. can’t even talk right now, can you? fuckin’ slut, losing her mind already.” she’d drink in all of your noises, your labored breathing and the way your eyes roll to the back of your head. “gods. i’ve never been with someone this fuckin’ desperate. i almost pity you.”

✧.* can and will manhandle you. she’ll be pushing your chest further into the mattress while fucking you from behind, yanking your hips into hers as she thrusts into you. smacking your ass so hard the sound nearly echoes through the room. she’ll flip you on your back, nearly throwing you down on the bed just to continue her relentless rhythm. she wants to absolutely ruin you. so let her.

✧.* she wants to leave you sore and tired for the next day, so that every time you try to even take a step you’re reminded of exactly what, or who put you into this position.

✧.* sevika’s stamina is admirable. exhaustion weighs heavy on her during the day, her work cut out for her. running around handling zaun, tying up loose ends silco left, and making sure jinx doesn’t get herself into too much trouble wears her out quickly. but somehow she still has so much energy when it comes to fucking you. she could go all night if you allowed her, without so much as yawning.

✧.* she’ll grab your chin to force you to look at her, holding direct eye contact while she fucks you. she wants to see every expression of yours, she wants you to see her face while you cum.

✧.* “who’s makin’ this pussy feel good?” she’d demand, grunting as she grabs a fistful of your hair. you’d yelp at the sensation, your voice breathy and bordering on whiny. “aahh! you! you, mmph- sevika, you’re making it feel so good…”

✧.* also lowkey (highkey) really into anal… being able to please your tight asshole and feel you clench around her fingers as she keeps rutting into your cunt. yeah

✧.* it’s not often that she does, but sevika likes to have you tied up. your wrists tied to the headboard of her bed, the wood creaking while she rocks into you and holds your thighs apart. it’s picturesque almost, you look so damn perfect and pliant. and all for her.

✧.* the ropes are rough and frayed, something similar to what would be used on a ship. it’s not much, and they look like they’ve been used before- they’ll definitely leave marks on your wrists once you’re done. not to worry, sevika already has ointments for once you’re done, and she makes sure to space things like this out. she loves the sight of you bound for her, but not enough to over exert your poor skin.

✧.* she loves hearing those gorgeous sounds you make for her, but sevika does have neighbors and she’s not above shoving your discarded shirt or panties into your mouth if she feels that you’re being too loud. “hush. gonna wake the whole neighborhood at this point, doll. or is that what you want?”

✧.* when she does allow you to top, she’s pretty quiet. a stark contrast to how breathy and gruff she is while pleasing you, but she’ll still make noises! just at a low volume. yet her words do still hold some of that domineering edge.

✧.* your tongue would be delicately splitting her wet folds, teasingly licking up her slit before it brushes right over her clit. a shiver runs up her spine and she groans, a breathy noise that only serves to motivate you more.

✧.* “shit, baby, like that…” she’d breathe out, her chest beginning to heave up and down. “faster, baby. more. like you mean it.”

✧.* creamer, but she’ll squirt if you coax enough orgasms out of her. when you first found this out, she was on the edge of her fifth orgasm, panting and grunting before her walls clenched around your tongue. you then felt a wet warmth splash onto your face, and your gaze flickered. something downright predatory awoke in you, making you desperate to see that again and again.

✧.* “come on, sevi, just gimme one more, mm… that was so fucking hot,” you’d murmur, bringing your face close to her glistening cunt yet again. “another? i think- aah, i’ll break,” sevika breathes out. “good.”

✧.* RIDE HER THIGH. she didn’t even know she was into it at first. you’d be kissing her, panting into her mouth as you strip her of her shirt- before pulling away. “i wanna try something,” you’d say, before lowering yourself onto one of her bulky thighs. beginning to rock your hips, your clothed clit bumping against her thigh while a sharp gasp is pulled from you.

✧.* sevika’s eyes are opened to a whole new realm of possibilities. her hands are flying to your waist to help guide you along on her thigh, feeling your arousal leak through the cotton of your panties. “fuck, dove, you really are a whore.” she says, a low chuckle following. “i wouldn’t have thought of this, but you’re just too damn eager… look at you, soaking me. you’re lucky you’re so pretty.”

✧.* before you know it, sevika is asking you to ride her thigh regularly!

✧.* sevika’s neck is her weak spot. kiss up the expanse of it, suck dark marks into her pulse point, and she’s a damn mess. she’s tilting her head back so you have easier access, melting from you just touching her neck. it’s kind of adorable, honestly.

✧.* switches up the second you’re done- is so sweet and loving during aftercare. making sure that you’re okay and taken care of before she even thinks of doing anything for herself, making sure she didn’t go too far and you’re not too wrecked.

caitlyn;

✧.* switch with a slight preference for topping. she’s been in control most of her life, usually having the upper hand and hardly ever not getting what she wants. she doesn’t expect much less in the bedroom- that, and she loves seeing you fall apart beneath her, knowing that she’s the one responsible.

✧.* caitlyn has long and strong fingers, perfect for reaching all the spots that you’ve never been able to reach yourself. the second her middle finger brushes against that spongy spot that makes your vision blank, her eyebrows shoot up and her mouth is open in a ‘ah, gotcha!’ expression.

✧.* “yeah, darling? you like that? should i keep going, hm?” you’d nod frantically, panting and flushed beneath her. “then keep being good for me. you can do that, can’t you?”

✧.* BRAT TAMER. you might be able to get away with being mouthy with others, but never with cait. she’s a patient woman, but you learn after a while of being with her how to push her buttons just right. wearing that very patience thin with every word and sway of your hips. you’re giggling, until caitlyn is pushing you against a wall and clawing at your clothing, ordering you to spread your legs.

✧.* “i thought this was what you wanted? what you were begging for, not even a minute ago?” she’d grunt, slamming her purple strap into you at an alarming pace. ragged gasps and moans are pulled from your parted lips, and hot tears begin to stream down both of your cheeks. caitlyn would let out a low chuckle, tutting. “what, you’re crying now? come on, it’s not that bad. just a little lesson for you.” she’d coo.

✧.* there’s also been several times when you haven’t been able to behave yourself in her workplace, and she’d whisk you to her office to bend you over the hard wood of her desk, fucking you right then and there.

✧.* part of caitlyn delights at the sight of your tears. it’s exhilarating, in a way. seeing you so desperate, so wanton, knowing it was her who took you apart so expertly. seeing you so bared and vulnerable for her is a moment she wishes she could frame every time.

✧.* caitlyn can be such a temptress. she’s beautiful, anyone can see that- and she uses that beauty to her advantage. you’d come home from a long day of working harder than you ought, to be greeted by your girlfriend in white lace lingerie that leaves very little to the imagination. she knows you can’t resist, and she’s internally celebrating the moment you pounce on her.

✧.* “how was work, love?” she’d ask, voice low and smooth. “you look like you’re starving. maybe i can do something about that?” she’d muse, fingers teasing under one of her thigh garters.

✧.* when subbing, caitlyn is loud. she’s not screaming out in pleasure, but she doesn’t hold back any noises. she wants you to know how good you’re making her feel, to hear it on her lips and in her choppy words.

✧.* likes clitoral stimulation best, i think. don’t get me wrong, she thoroughly enjoys the feeling of penetration- but something about having her pretty clit played with until she’s an aching mess is just better.

✧.* also likes to be praised when she’s on bottom. tell her how beautiful she is, tell her that you’re taking her just right and she sounds so pretty right now. not only does it provide an ego boost, but it makes caitlyn feel so loved.

✧.* she’s a bit embarrassed to admit it, but she likes being on the receiving end of orgasm denial. so fucking close, her body strung thin like a bowstring. each nerve ending nearly on fire. but she can’t cum, not until you give her the green light, and it drives her insane.

✧.* “please, i’m losing my mind,” she’d cry out. “i need- mmf- i need to cum, pleasedarlingillbesogood,”

✧.* not opposed to quickies, but doesn’t opt for them. however, there are occasions where she’ll steal you away just before you have to leave for work, her fingers working as quickly as she possibly can to get you off- giving you something to think about the rest of the day.

✧.* something about your hips draws caitlyn in. maybe it’s the plush skin against them, the way they’re perfect for her nails to dig into, the feeling she gets when they rut against her, the rush she gets from gripping them to guide you as you grind against her thigh, or the way they sway when you walk. she can’t quite pinpoint it, but she also doesn’t care to.

✧.* “fuck, darling, keep moving,” she’d breathe out, gripping the tops of your hips as your wetness spreads over her thigh- folds glistening, head tilted back as lewd moans fill the room. “you look beautiful like this. so damn perfect, like you’re made for my viewing…”

✧.* she enjoys pet names a lot, but i think one of caitlyn’s weaknesses would be just addressing her by her name. especially if you usually call her by pet names outside of the bedroom. it feels so intimate, so personal.

✧.* “such a good girl for me, caitlyn,” you’d whisper, holding a bullet vibrator to her wet clit. “look at this pussy, so desperate for me. i can’t get enough.”

✧.* her favorite places to have sex are her bed and her desk. simple, but they work- her bed is a sanctuary, and it’s comfortable. optimal. her work desk serves many purposes, but her favorite is pleasuring each other.

✧.* caitlyn’s eyes are hypnotic, her gaze piercing. she’s big on eye contact during sex, demanding that you look at her the entire time. even as you’re fighting to not let your eyes snap shut or roll to the back of your head, the commanding tone in her voice keeps you grounded. it’s an ego boost, but it’s also a way of connecting to you.

✧.* gets rough when she’s especially stressed, which is often. she’s an enforcer and one of piltover’s most powerful figures; caitlyn is basically a walking manifestation of stress. slapping your tits, grabbing your chin, degrading you, shoving her fingers into your mouth and down your throat to shut you up.

✧.* that’s not to say that she doesn’t enjoy gentle love making from time to time- she absolutely does. she loves those nights where you take your time with her, truly conceptualize your affections for her. just how much you love her. she just gets carried away in the moment more than she’d like to admit.

lest;

✧.* switch with a preference for subbing. she will dom you if you ask her to, but most of the time, lest likes to lay back and bask in the feeling of you touching her. the scent of incense thick in the air, hair freed from her scarf and fanned around her as she lets out soft moans.

✧.* her voice is so smooth, so calming. the kind of voice you could fall asleep to. lest isn’t necessarily loud during sex, but she gets pretty vocal. and her noises, her words sound almost heaven sent.

✧.* “oh, keep doing- aahh!- that, darling…” she’d breathe out, her tone soft and buttery with desperation. “i need it, i’m so close-”

✧.* lest is definitely experienced, so she knows well and good what gets her going. she’ll tell you as well, guiding your hands to exactly where she needs them and describing in vulgar detail what she wants you to do to her.

✧.* “play with my tits with one hand, stroke me with the other,” she’d breathe out, placing your hands over both her perky breast and twitching cock. “pinch my nipple, hard, run your thumb over the tip- oh, fuuuuck…”

✧.* the tip of her dick is easily the most sensitive part of her body. it’s so sensitive, it’s almost comical- but lest can’t help it. you know how to pleasure her exactly the way she needs. as soon as you take it into your mouth, teasing your tongue over the head before taking her full length, she’s already fighting the urge to buck into your mouth. it draws sharp gasps from her throat, her fingers gripping at the bedsheets.

✧.* but her tits aren’t meant to be neglected, either. plump and soft, sitting so pretty on her. her nipples are definitely pierced, usually adorning gold bars with dangling chains. play with them, suck on them, place clamps on them. she’ll eat all of it up, praising you all the while.

✧.* definitely enjoys being tied up during the act, and she’d likely want to try shibari at some point. she has the nice ropes: purple woven silk, soft against her wrists and ankles. the feeling of being bared open before you, completely powerless and at your mercy can’t compare to anything else.

✧.* i think lest is really into wax play, but can’t participate as much as she’d like to because wax is a pain in the ass to get out of fur. she’ll gasp at the feeling of hot, sticky wax on her tits and stomach, a shiver running through her body involuntarily. you like to indulge her from time to time, relishing in her every reaction. again, it just can’t be as often as you’d both like because of the aftermath :(

✧.* lest can’t exactly finger you since she uh… has claws. but she’s so skillful with her mouth, the thought of what you might be missing doesn’t even cross your mind. she’d take your clit between her lips, teasing over the bud with her tongue before sucking. brushing her silky hair over her shoulder and angling her jaw so she has even more access to you, drinking in every sound you make.

✧.* “you taste amazing, darling,” she’d murmur. “stay still, mm.. you want to cum, don’t you?”

✧.* lest could grow addicted to just eating you out. the feeling of your release on her tongue is a high she never wants to come down from. she’ll draw orgasm after orgasm after orgasm from you on just her tongue.

✧.* praise her!! tell lest how good she’s doing, how beautiful she looks between your thighs and how lucky you are to have her. it only makes her more eager to please you.

✧.* “gods, you’re beautiful,” you’d whisper, “that feels amazing, you’re amazing, you’re perfect-” before feeling her tongue slip from your clit to your wet hole, prying you open.

✧.* LOVES to be pegged. she’s also partial to cowgirl, but lests’s absolute favorite is doggystyle. she craves the sensation of you slamming into her hole, gripping her plump asscheek with one hand and yanking on her tail with the other. she’d let out a sharp yowl, her chest almost collapsing into the mattress at the feeling. but it feels so fucking good, even though it’s sending pain up her spine.

✧.* “oh, yes, yesyesyes,” she’d babble, so bravely taking every inch of your strap. “don’t stop, go harder- fuck, ow!” she gasps, her soft tail in your grasp as you pull. “sorry,” you’d wince, slightly loosening your grip. “no. keep holding it, it- aahh! feels damn good.”

✧.* she cums pretty quickly when you strap her down. she’s a bit embarrassed about it, but she just can’t help it. your strap rubs against her g-spot so perfectly, your rhythm is exactly what she needs and you fill her up just right.

✧.* alternatively, lest loves when you ride her. seeing your face while you’re on top of her, claws digging into your hips while she bounces you up and down on her length… oh, it’s gold. and the sight of your tits bouncing is always a welcome bonus.

✧.* sometimes lest will have her pipe with her while you ride her, in which case she’ll allow you to shotgun hits. your breaths mingling with one another and lips almost touching as magenta smoke is passed between the two of you. it only serves to further heighten your senses, bringing you even greater pleasure.

✧.* “you’re divine,” she’d breathe out, hips rocking into you with fervor. “take it. take everything, just like i know you can. you’re a damn work of art.”

[desire-mona]

i hate to say this since i love brennan dearly but im starting to resent d20 because thats like. Most of dropout and i dont like that. can we please do other things

[marksbear]

Look if you dont want to write Miguel then forgot about this but I have alot of ideas if you dont mind such as Miguel sucking off reader while he is still in his suit but then decided to tease reader by poking him with his fangs then leads to reader throat fucking him while he is still on duty supposedly.-🐻‍❄️

First time writing for this man so let’s hope this goes well and people like it! Thank you as always my 50% for the lovely request.

Warnings! Rooftop, blowjob, gagging, chocking, kinda biting?, teasing, clothes ripping on purpose, semi public, skull/face fucking.

MIGUEL O’HARA X TOP MALE READER

The two different Spider-Man’s sat on a rooftop looking around for anything they should be worried about.

They been out patrolling ever since this morning and they were no doubt tired and bored.

“There’s nothing special tonight… Just quiet and empty.” Y/n finally blurts out with a sigh finally breaking the silence. Miguel ignores Y/n and continues to look at the streets.

“Babe. Let’s just go home I’m bored and tired.” Y/n says while reaching to pull his mask off. Y/n only pulls up half of his mask so his nose and mouth is visible. For some reason that seemed to catch Miguel’s attention.

“Your bored?” Miguel asks as he crawls over to Y/n. Y/n cocks an eyebrow confused as to why his boyfriend is coming his way.

"¿Quieres que arregle eso?" Miguel says reaching for his own mask and yanking it off completely. Before Y/n could answer Miguel kisses Y/n passionately. Y/n immediately kisses back melting into the kiss.

As they kiss Miguel gets in the middle of Y/n’s legs spreading them open.

Y/n pulls away from Miguel with his lip clearly started to bleed. “Really had to nibble on my lip with your fang?” Y/n says watching a cocky smirk grow on Miguel’s lip.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to.” Miguel lies reaching his hand out to the collar around Y/n’s spider man costume pulling it down enough so he can see his neck. “Bullshit.” Y/n responds back with a quiet gasp feeling his boyfriends fangs graze against his skin.

“Weren’t you the same one who told me having sex while on duty was unprofessional?” Y/n teases as his body becomes hot and bothered. Miguel pulls away from Y/n’s neck moving back to his face kissing him deeply.

While Y/n was distracted Miguel moved his hands to the crotch of Y/n’s Spider-Man costume before ripping it open. Y/n’s already hard cock springs out into the air.

Once that was done Miguel pulled away sitting down on his knees. “You better be making me a new suit.” Y/n grumbles out standing up onto his feet.

"Por favor, papì, déjame chupar tu polla". Miguel begs out with his eyes staring at Y/n’s cock before hopelessly looking at Y/n in the eyes. Y/n takes his cock in his hand moving the tip onto Miguel’s lips rubbing his lips with his cock.

“Have at it baby.” Y/n says finally giving him permission. Miguel wastes no time to wrap his mouth around Y/n’s cock sucking and licking around the tip. Y/n could feel Miguel’s fangs graze and poke him around his cock.

Miguel pulled his mouth away from Y/n’s cock, but soon after sticks out his tongue to lick around the tip and the rest of his length. His tongue traced every vein and went down all the way to the base and back up the tip. Miguel had one hand on his own covered cock rubbing himself through his suit while his other hand was on Y/n’s cock pumping it up and down.

Miguel wrapped his lips back around Y/n’s cock slowly moving deeper and deeper down on Y/n’s cock. Miguel took his hand off of Y/n’s cock before bobbing his head down on the rest of Y/n’s cock taking its place.

Bobbing his head back and forth causing him to gag and moan around Y/n’s cock. His moans were muffled only sending vibrations through Y/n’s body.

Miguel’s bright red eyes became closed tight as he went past his limit sucking on Y/n’s cock. Y/n took a handful of Miguel’s brown hairs pulling it back until he was away from his cock.

Y/n’s cock was coated in spit while Miguel catches his breath while staring up at him.

"Quiero hacerlo de nuevo. ¡Por favor, déjame ahogarme con tu polla!" Miguel begged out desperately wanting to have Y/n in his mouth again. Y/n let’s go of his hair signaling that he can carry on. Miguel quickly takes Y/n back inside mouth bobbing his head around the tip of his cock before sliding down until he took the entire thing.

While sucking on his cock Miguel started to rub his thighs together and hump into his hand. Miguel swirls his tongue around his cock licking and sucking ever that he could fit.

Without even realizing Y/n brought his hands to either side of Miguel’s head holding onto it keeping it still.

Y/n pulls his back a little moving his cock away from Miguel just to thrust thrust back inside pushing his cock deep inside his thrust. Miguel’s gags and moans became louder and louder as Y/n used his throat.

Miguel’s jaw hanged wide open as his teary eyes locked eyes with Y/n’s own. Y/n thrust in and out using Miguel’s mouth for his on pleasure.

Drool and spit coated Miguel’s chin as Y/n used his mouth as if he was a toy. Miguel loved the feeling of choking and gagging around Y/n’s cock so he let the fellow hero use and abuse his throat and it’s entirety.

Y/n moved thrusts in and out at a fast pace with his cock moving deeper and deeper inside his throat. Miguel continued to bob his head up and down while Y/n faced fuck him usually meeting him down halfway. Miguel’s head felt his head start to spin but he didn’t are. He was so cock drunk to even care.

Miguel could feel Y/n’s cock twitch inside of his mouth. Miguel swirled his tongue around Y/n’s cock tracing the veins with his tongue as Y/n continued to fuck him.

“I’m close! Oh fuck Miguel!” Y/n warns pushing Miguel’s head down on his cock. Miguel gagged around moaned around Y/n’s cock as he rubs himself through his pants faster.

“Oh god! Miguel! I’m cumming! I’m fuck!~” Y/n moaned out shooting his load deep inside Miguel’s throat.

Miguel gags and tries to swallow pulling back up,but leaves the tip of Y/n’s cock still in his mouth as he cum. Miguel swallows the cum inside of his mouth before licking the slit of Y/n’s cock clean and make sure that he swallowed everything. With a “pop” Miguel pulls away from Y/n’s cock gasping for air. As he breathed for air he stuck out his tongue licking whatever that’s left on Y/n’s cock clean.

“Good job. Fuck… You did so good. Sucking my cock like that.” Y/n praises as his body trembles feeling the fang on his cock.

Y/n moves one of his hands off the side of Miguel’s head and to his chin lifting his face up.

Miguel gets back onto his feet leaning over Y/n. Y/n takes Miguel my his waist pulling him in closer.

“Let’s go home alright? Then I’ll help you out with your problem.” Y/n says kissing Miguel. The two Spider-Men make out for a while before finally pulling away.

Miguel picks up his mask on the ground putting back on before looking at Y/n’s costume that was tore open at the crotch.

“Yeah I forgot about that. Let’s go home before a random villain sees you like that.” Miguel says getting ready to jump off the rooftop. “Yeah yo ur the one who caused it!”

THE END

[spideyslag]

Thinking about Peter, in a coffee shop doing work for one of his asynchronous classes (online, no face to face or zoom meeting, just assignments), reading a book and writing a paper on it, particularly.

It’s some crap his professor wrote, and as far as Peter’s concerned he’s only been assigned this so his professor could make a quick $50 a head.

As he’s doing so, one of the hottest older guys he’d ever seen comes and sits down at the table next to him.

“Hey”

“Hi”

“Mind if I sit here?”.

“Not at all”.

No one should look like that. It should be illegal.

“What are you reading?”.

“It’s a school thing. It’s horrible you don’t want to know more I promise.”

“Is that so?”

“It’s fucking dreadful. Like, this guy just wants to hear himself talk or run up the page count. He’ll make like, half a decent thought like 75% through the chapter then he looses me. It’s painful. I get a migraine every time I open this thing”.

The hot guy chuckles and raises his eyebrows. “I don’t think that’s fair.”

Peters always had a face with subtitles. Apparently the face he makes makes this guy laugh. “Is that so? Would you like to give it a try?”

“I don’t have to. I did g write it afterall”.

Peters going to shit himself.

“Doctor strange” he half mumbles. “That’s my name don’t wear it out.” “I’m SO sorry-“

“Dont be. I appreciate the…honest feedback.” Stephen chuckles.

[dancingwithreality]

an idea p.g.10 part.2

gif not mine!

pairings: pierre gasly x fem!reader; friends to lovers

word count: 4.68k

summary: feelings are springing up everywhere, and suddenly your friendship doesnt really feel like just a friendship anymore.

a/n: very poorly translated french please bear with me, yes i referenced a song because its currently (and constantly) playing in my mind. reader is french btw dont know if it was obvious with the whole childhood friends thing but just wanted to state it. not betaread so if theres any typos, english isnt my first language and i wrote this only at night so, good luck.

please do not take my work! enjoy and interact!

YOU STOOD IN FRONT of his door as he leaned against the frame, you didn't really know what to say right away, clearly not thinking enough before acting.

'Hey,' you started but completely lost all words, what were you doing here?

'Everything okay?' Pierre tilted his head to the right, looking at you inquisitively.

'Yeah, yeah! Just uh, tired.' You tried not to look at him too hard, lest you start bumbling like an idiot.

'Wanna come in for a nightcap?' he shifted his weight to expose more of the opening to his room, simply inviting you in.

'You sure?' If you were being honest with yourself, you didn't know if you wanted to go in or not.

'Wouldn't have opened the door if I didn't want you in, chérie,' normally, you would have laughed at his words 'want you in' but you didn't think it was appropriate in your predicament.

You walked in and wondered if he'd always called you that, and if his clothes were always that tight. You'd sat down on the edge of his bed, you still kept closely to yourself.

'Are you absolutely sure you're okay?' He sat down next to you, arms elbows resting on his knees while he kept his head turned to see you.

His gaze felt heavy, but it was still as soft as it normally was. Not pressuring you, not bored, not uninterested, but patient and understanding. It would be hard not spilling everything in your mind to him right there and then.

'Just worried about quali, that's all.' you lied. You hated lying to Pierre.

'Oh chérie,' He sat up and wrapped his arms around you in a comforting manor. 'Silverstone can be dangerous but I'll be okay, love.'

What was up with him and the pet names? But still, you sat there in his embrace and let yourself decompress. His arms were always so warm, like a bed bathed in soft sunlight and your body heat from the night before. Like it would be cold if you got out.

'Can- can we stay like this?' You didn't want to be cold.

'We can stay as long as you want,' his voice was soft in your ear, pressing a soft kiss to your head.

And you did stay, just like that, all night. That was, until Pierre's alarm rang and disrupted the calm. Somewhere along the night you'd ended up laying down still in his arms. Somewhere along the night, you'd ended up as tangled up in blankets as you were with him.

Your head was against his chest and on top of his arm. Just as his other arm was wrapped around your waist, so was yours around his, and you didn't know where his legs started and where yours ended.

With your hand that was previously clutching his shirt you reached to rub your eyes of the sleep keeping them closed. His breath was lightly fanning your face as your eyes grew wide and your face grew hot at the proximity. By some grace, he'd awoken just then, shifting his position and rubbing his legs on yours.

'Hm, morning.' He groaned in your ears, his voice low and husky.

'Good morning,' this time it was your voice that cracked making you inwardly wince at the sound. 'Gotta get ready for quali, yeah?' You cleared your throat and slipped right out from under his hold.

'Yeah,' he was looking at you a certain way and his gaze felt heavy. 'I'll stop by in 50 and we can head out?'

'Oh uh, no you can go ahead I'll catch up later.' You waved your hands and head around in a dismissing manor. Shit, what if he worries? Every time you could make it to a race, you and Pierre always went to every practice, qualifying, and race together. This change in behavior made you think he might worry but you hoped he wouldn't.

'Alright chérie, I'll see you then.' He smiled softly went off into his bathroom yelling, 'Lock the door on your way out!'

•••

While you were panicking in our own room, trying to act like a normal person and decide what to wear, Pierre was kicking himself in his room. Lock the door on your way out?? What was he, an idiot? Pierre always payed such close attention to you he could notice even the slightest of changes. And from the day before, every one of your actions was off, so long as it involved him.

As you could probably imagine, this made him freak out internally, Was he making you uncomfortable? Did he do something? Or worse, did you find out about his feelings and now you didn't know how to act around him? He stared at himself in the mirror as tried to calm himself down.

The smell of your lilac and gooseberry perfume lingered on his clothes, wafting up into his nose. How could someone and all things about them cloud his mind so much, yet bring such peace and calm?

When you said those five simple words, he swore his heart did backflips. All worry went out the window the second you wrapped your arms around him. How could he say no? The feeling of falling asleep with you and waking up with you so close made him feel so warm. Like the setting sun in an open field of flowers and tall grass.

He couldn't keep thinking about this, he had to get ready. The sweet smell on his shirt was too precious to lose so he folded the shirt carefully and placed it on his pillow. If the shirt didn't smell like you when he came back, at least his pillow would.

On the way to Silverstone one of your favorite songs started playing, and it was just another reminder of you. Maria by Blondie. Event the lyrics were fitting.

Oh how you find so many ways to plague his very being.

•••

You've been doing this for years, showing up to races and everything, so everyone was used to seeing you in the garage. Granted Alpine was surprised at first. You weren't family, you weren't dating Pierre, but normally friends stayed in hospitality. Though soon enough you were a welcomed presence and dearly missed when you weren't there.

You were sat next to Pyry anxiously watching qualifying. Pierre was doing well, Charles even better. Though you were probably just watching to watch. You'd lost yourself in your thoughts and were absolutely absent minded. The mind could be a tricky place when you're dealing with unknown feelings and sudden unknown territory. You were out of your field of expertise with Pierre now. What were you supposed to do?

'Hey?' Pyry knocked his shoulder on yours to get your attention.

'Sorry, what'd you say?' You shook your head and came back to the real world.

'You've been really distracted huh?' He tilted his head accusingly, 'You and Pierre.'

'I'm sorry?'

'Somethings going on with you two.'

'What is with everybody and being so preceptive?' You groaned and put your head in your hands. 'Is everyone a psychic or something?'

'No we have eyes.' He retorted. 'It's painfully obvious. He's never been more distracted, and you're usually his rock and you're a wreck.'

'Thank you so much, that's exactly what I want to hear.' You gave him a dead stare.

'Love is a messy thing. But it's not something you let pass you by, its probably the best opportunity you'll ever have. Especially one like yours and Pierre's,' he started tapping the side of his head. 'Trust me.'

Who knew a trainer could have such wisdom? You for sure didn't. 'That's.. actually really sweet. And smart.' You bumped Pyry's shoulder with yours. 'Thanks.'

'Yeah, I know,' he laughs and shrugs before crossing his arms and adjusting his posture.

The best opportunity you'll ever have.

•••

You'd been having a fun night with Pierre and Charles. They wanted to relax and prepare before Silverstone so you were all in your hotel room. You'd brought your neck massager with you and Charles was sitting with his arms in the handles and head leaned back. The boys were communicating back and forth, Cha giving Pierre advice for the (high) midfield and Pierre giving Cha his thoughts for making his way up to the podium.

You were leaning against Charles with your legs in Pierre's lap when they pulled you into the conversation. 'Chérie, what do you think?' Pierre asked, his hands tracing gently up and down your legs.

'Uh,' his touch was distracting. 'Honestly, I wasn't really paying attention much today.'

'Interesting,' Charles mumbled, earning an elbow to the stomach.

'By what?' Pierre turned his attention towards you but his hands didn't leave you.

'A thrilling conversation with Pyry.' You exhaled.

'On?' Charles dragged the word out and wiggled his eyebrows.

Here was when you noticed Pierre stopped. He was nearly frozen solid, hands mid-air. Why were you talking to Pyry? His trainer? And why was it thrilling? He cleared his throat, 'Uh, about what?'

'He was, helping me with a problem, unsolicited.'

Why was he helping you? What problem did you have? Why were you going to Pyry for it? Why didn't you tell him? Pierre's mind was running a mile a minute. Things were being so strange in your relationship he didn't know what was wrong. 'Did it, uh, help?'

His eyes met yours and there was something behind them he couldn't quite place. While a feeling of dread and worry was settling in his stomach, another was setting in yours.

One like yours and Pierre's, was running through your head. You did kind of already act like a couple. But you'd always been like that. Was there really a possibility of you two being more?

'Well obviously, if you didn't want whatever this thing is so badly, you wouldn't be looking for advice everywhere.' Charles spoke up, watching the tension rise between you two in different ways. He could see Pierre tense, and though it was a weird angle he could see the feelings right behind your eyes. The only question was if you'd notice it.

'Yeah..' You'd nearly whispered, a smile creeping its way onto your face. Yeah, maybe you did want it. So you reached over and rested your hand on Pierre's arm closest to you, thumb stroking his skin. 'You're gonna do great, I have no doubt.'

As if you were a beacon in the dark, you cleared his mind of any worried thoughts with a simple touch. His hands went back to your legs and that calm look back on his face. 'Thanks, mon amour.'

With a light blush on both of your faces, you fell into comfortable conversations. Sharing laughs, stress melting off all your shoulders.

Whatever they were talking about, you'd stopped listening. Right here in this moment you felt so content. What else could you want? Your best friend and the man who was taking over your heart. Peace and warmth spread over your body and you'd found yourself thinking. Dreaming, of a future with you and Pierre together across the couch from Charles. Pierre's arms around you and your body swallowed by his. Charles sat opposite you as the three of you laughed, the occasional tease at the new couple, and a domestic reality.

•••

Your biggest problem on race day was always what to wear. Two friends on teams with completely opposite color schemes how could you pick? So regularly you alternated. In Austria you wore a white tank with loose jeans, a Ferrari cap and matching windbreaker with matching New Balances.

This time, you decided to deck out in Alpine. You slipped on a pair of high waisted light washed jeans and went searching for your shirt. A few weeks ago you’d altered an Alpine polo, cropping it and cutting the sleeves off. The colors matched well with the dark blue paisley bandana and skillfully straightened hair. To top it off you had some retro Jordan 4s in a delicate pink. A light, clean, makeup look was all you could settle for as you checked your watch and saw the time pass by quicker than you’d thought.

Dainty gold jewelry covered you from earrings to actual rings, but careful not to go overload with it. A white leather handbag was the cherry on top as you packed your stuff and made sure to head so you could try and make it on time.

Unfortunately you barely made it, the formation lap having already started. You watched Charles slide easily into fourth and Pierre a few places behind him in eighth. You crossed your fingers and got ready to pray they both made it up in positions.

As the lights flashed and the cars started you were given a headset and stood with Esteban’s girlfriend watching on a monitor. It’s lights out and away we go, you thought as the cars took off and Lando overtook Max on the first corner. You could already tell this race was going to be interesting.

•••

Lap five and Max took back his first place spot. Predictable but you would miss those four laps of bliss with Lando leading.

•••

Lap ten and they were calling in Esteban which didn’t bode well in the garage. Elena had gone with his to his drivers room hoping to bring him some comfort. You were alone chewing on your lip now, hoping this would be all that happens this race.

•••

Lap thirty-three and things had been going good. Charles overtime both McLaren’s as he sat in second place. They were both doing well as Lando sat in third and Oscar defended both of their positions from fourth.

But suddenly K Mag crashed. They brought the car in and called a red flag to make sure the track was safe to continue racing on.

•••

A lap later, thirty-four, and Pierre made contact with Lance. Your heart stopped and you held your breath. Cars were spinning out as he made contact with Carlos just after. You crossed your fingers and kept your eyes glued to the screen and you saw them call Pierre in to box. The damage to all nearby cars called for another red flag.

They were cleaning up the Vale chicane and you watched them asses Pierre’s car. The damage to the right-rear suspension wasn’t all too bad as they managed to keep him out.

You thanked whatever power was listening that he was still in this.

•••

Lap fifty-one and by some stroke of luck Pierre was in sixth, basically tailgating George in front of him.

He was coming up on turn three, onto a DRS zone and you prayed that he would overtake. And thanks to the same power listening before, he overtook George and made distance between them bigger. Cheers were spread throughout the Alpine garage at this little victory.

And at the end of lap fifty-two, the end of the race, as the last car crossed the finish line, Charles in second and Pierre in fifth you’d never heard a garage celebrate louder. Granted until you heard McLaren.

Cars went back to their respective garages as you waited for Pierre to come out. You all knew the chances of Pierre crossing that finish line were slim. Damage to the suspension normally means retirement and a depressed driver. Yet how he managed to pull across that line and keep it going was something you couldn’t believe. And manage to pull through into fifth in an Alpine? You meant no malice though, no offense, just honest thoughts.

He pulls into the pit lane parking just outside the garage and hands his steering wheel to the crew member nearest and jumps out and onto his car. He through his hands up and screams in victory. Those ten points would be his saving grace and push him further in his career.

Pierre runs into the garage and gets picked up by every pit crew team member and thrown around by everyone. There was a joy in the air that was contagious. Your two favorite boys both in the highest spirits had you going nuts.

As soon as they let him down you made eye contact with him. The grin on your face was so wide you knew it was gonna hurt tomorrow. He lit up immediately and somehow his smile only got wider. The two of you started running towards each other as you collided in a tight hug.

Your arms wrapped so tight around his neck and his so tight around your waist they wrapped around completely. Chests pressed against the other you’d never felt so warm, so happy, so comfortable. The sweat from his neck was rubbing off on yours but you didn’t care. You’d have to shower after getting back to your room but you didn’t care.

The pure joy that radiated off both you was more important. His long fingers curling into your waist and pressing on your skin sent you into hyperdrive. In one quick motion, Pierre picked you up and started to spin still wrapped in the embrace. You threw your head back in laughter and your giggles filled the room. Eventually he set you down, and you two laughed as you pulled away, his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders.

‘You did it mon amour!’ you could barely think straight as your threw your head back into his shoulder and placed a quick kiss to his cheek.

‘I did it!’ He cheered and threw his fists up into the air, the whole garage cheered with him. Pierre started thanking everyone in the garage, shaking hands and hugging them all. He gathered everyone around and started thanking the whole team, addressing them as a whole in a sort of victory speech. Even though we didn’t get on the podium and only one of our drivers made it across the finish line you would’ve thought we got pole with a 1-2 finish.

You stood further in the back admiring him as he continued to give his makeshift speech. That radiant smile on his face and the passion in his voice made you swoon. Maybe you did like him. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe you were happy about it.

•••

When the boys wanted to go to the club, you were all for it. Lando wanted to celebrate his win, Pierre was on a high, and this race was just what Charles needed. You'd told them to go ahead without you and that you'd join them as soon as you were ready. You wanted to spend extra time getting dolled up because tonight was a special night.

You wore your best short skirt, a pale cream with an asymmetrical cut. You had on a long sleeve, sheer glittery pink shirt with a matching bikini style bra on underneath. You paired it with a small cream handbag and long laced up cream heels.

Your hair was styled in bouncy curls and your makeup done light but intense. If all things boded well tonight you would act on your newfound feelings. And if not, you'd blame it on the drink, even if you highly doubted it would end bad. After doing a once over in the mirror you dabbed some of your signature scent on with a light dose of the pheromone perfume everyone spoke so highly of.

So you called a cab and put on an extra coat of lip gloss to boost your confidence as you would need it tonight. Taking one of the deepest breaths you probably ever have, you put one foot in front of the other and walked into the club.

Head held high and heels clicking on the floor you walked over to the booths that had been reserved for the night. As soon as you sat you placed a drink order on the little screen at the table smiled to the two on your left.

'Hey boys,' You smiled wide and let out a little giggle at the end. 'Some of your best work out there today!'

Pierre was left stunned at the sight of you as soon as you walked in. Whenever you turned up, it didn't take long for his eyes to find you and when they did, wowza.

A simple look at you would melt him but when you looked at him? He would turn into a puddle, especially when you looked like that. It was like he fell in love with you for the second time.

'Who are you trying to impress?' Charles raised his eyebrows with a knowing smirk.

'No one,' you responded and for a second Pierre thought your eyes flew to his just before flying away. 'Anyway, tonight is about you guys and your stellar performance today!' As you finished your sentence the waiter walked up with your raspberry daiquiri and you thanked him as you took it.

One large sip later and you were all laughing and chatting. The three of you were sitting at the booth just talking and drinking for the most part, at least until the liquid courage was enough for you.

'That's it, i'm bored.' You set your now empty glass down and stood up smoothing out your skirt. 'Lets dance,' you stretched your hand out to Pierre and waited for him to grab it.

And hesitantly he did, though not before sending a glance to Charles. He was surprised at the force of your pull, dragging him towards whatever direction you wanted. 'Come on, amour!' You'd yelled over the music now using both hands to pull Pierre with you.

That was the second time you'd called him that today, and it made him flush red. You didn't know what you were doing to him and if it was cruel Pierre didn't care. You two had always been close. Closer than most normal friendships. From the pet names, to the physical touches, people would normally just assume you were dating anyway.

But you'd never called him amour, love. It was new and it was welcome and he would pay to hear it in your voice everyday. Pierre knew it was dangerous, dancing with you like this while thinking about you like that. With your bodies moving together and your faces nearly inches apart, it would take his whole willpower to stay away. To keep his hands off you.

Which contrary to his belief, it might've been just what you wanted. Begging him in your mind to just make a move, put his hands on your hips, drag you closer, stare into your eyes and push your hair behind your ear. So as soon as a waitress passed by you grabber her attention to ask for a few shots, hoping they would make at least one of you brave enough.

And as soon as the drinks got to you, you both took them, albeit Pierre was hesitant. But he still drank it and it definitely loosened you all up. Bodies got closer, hands nearly roaming the other, faces so close, it was a painful fate. The two of you so close yet so far. Whatever heavy gate kept kept you from crossing that line felt nearly impenetrable.

You cursed whatever twisted hands put you in this position. To give you these feelings for your lifelong best friend but forbid you from doing anything about it. You could think about it all later and just enjoy the moment, its all you're ever gonna get.

•••

Pierre got wasted. Something about the energy of the night made him go further than he normally does. Luckily, you didn't let yourself go and devoted your night to watching him.

So at roughly two you called it. He was nearly falling over so you huffed as you carried half his weight and dragged him to the hotel. 'You better be glad Hungary is in two weeks, you can sleep this off all you want,' You'd left the club maybe five minutes ago after begging Charles to pay your tabs, which he did.

It was hard to call a cab when you were focused on keeping Pierre on his feet. One hand was up, waving as you whistled trying to get ones attention and the other was around him. Luck was on your side once tonight, and that was when one pulled up before you toppled over. In a haste you opened the door and shoved him in. You climbed in after him and let the cab take you back to the hotel as you could rest your shoulder.

And as soon as you pulled up, payed the cabby, and shuffled out with Pierre hot on your tail, the struggle started again. Pulling him up to his room was a tough feat as he kept giggling and laughing about something. Combine that with whatever was making him stare at you and touch your face, with a look in his eyes you couldn't place, it was a miracle you got back in one piece.

'Okay ange, lets get you in bed.' You threw him onto his bed and let him laugh there as you grabbed his pajamas. This wasn't your first rodeo with drunk Pierre, so you had a routine when it same to changing him.

He nearly always wore the same linen shirts when he went out so you made quick work of that. Then it was the matter of getting him to undo his pants, so you could pull them off from the bottom of his feet. 'Come on Pierre, help me out here.' You were lightly tapping the side of his face and trying to get him to cooperate.

'You're pretty,' he said in-between giggles. 'I like you.'

'Yes that's all very nice, lets take your pants off now.' You ignored the heat in your ears.

'Woah! Take me to dinner first,' he really found that funny because he started combusting in laughter and moving around, clutching his stomach.

You finally managed to pull them off and slip on his sweats as he suddenly got very serious. It confused you for a moment when he leaned up on his arms and deadpanned. His muscles flexing and stretching as he held onto one of your arms and pulled you close. For a second, you were weak and let your eyes drop. The view of his chiseled and toned body with his sweatpants riding low enough for you to see the band of his boxers. The very moment felt sinful.

'Listen.' He said sternly but still clearly inebriated. 'Je vais t'épouser un jour.' [I'm gonna marry you.] His deep stare into your eyes felt so intense that if he wasn't very drunk, you would've given in at that moment, screw the friendship.

'Ask me when you're sober.' You laughed lightly to diffuse your own tension, face the color of a tomato, and used his leaned forward position as an advantage to slip his shirt on over his head. 'Up now.'

He listened and sat up, helping you to push his arms into the holes in the shirt. For the split second your hands were on his bare skin someone could have mistaken the moment for something very domestic. Even you would have, if you didn't know all you are is best friends.

'Alright! Time to get in bed,' you helped him get comfortable and made sure he was covered but not too hot. You got a feeling of deja vu in this moment, but chopped it up to the other times you've done this. 'Goodnight Pierre.' You smiled and pushed some of the hair off oh forehead.

'Goodnight mon trésor, je vous aime.' [i love you.] He smiled and dug further into the bed.

'Yeah, me too.' You gave him a soft smile he probably wasn't even paying attention to. You turned the lights off and before leaving his room you heard a quiet phrase.

'Je vais faire d'elle ma femme.' [I'm gonna make her my wife.]

You closed your eyes as you let your head rest against the back of his door. Something about alcohol always made Pierre more, intimate. Marriage was new though. Oh how cruel fate was.

fin.

[iwanty0uu]

a/n: y/n is black, whatever body type you prefer, and is about 20, she’s also in college and is a nurse in training so you know she gets money, and on top of that she’s a nail tech so she’s usually super busy. ~ keep that in mind !

Onyankopon was extremely toxic, no matter how many times he loved bombed you after arguments that he knew he had the wrong in, or fucked you until you forgave him, it was undeniable that he was toxic. It all started after a long day of work, the hospital bustling since it was the night before Halloween. People did stupid things all the time but man the shit you saw that night was just absurd, on top of that you had a nail appointment as soon as your shift ended, so there shouldn’t have been a surprise when you stumbled into your apartment complex forty five minutes past eleven with a pounding headache, and a desire for comfort from your boyfriend after the traumatic night you had.

press me

The soft sound of your light switch filled the empty apartment, a linen colored light illuminated the kitchen and living room, the purple crocs you kicked off flipped them selves over at the door. Throwing the keys on the counter and washing your hands, you couldn’t help but rest your head in them. You love your job, but its so tiring.. every day it feels like the world is moving at one hundred miles per hour and you cant catch up. Tears no longer threatened to spill, they were overflowing. You sobbed, headache worsening, heart aching from the stress and the pain, however your sobs drowned out the vibration from your phone which was forgotten after you took your shirt off, and threw it on your living room floor. A trail of scrubs were left behind leading to the bathroom, as you turned the shower on, not even waiting for the water to heat up and hopped in. Practically washing yourself in your tears, you placed your head on the wet wall next to you, going light headed from the steam, you felt drained.. so empty, and you needed a hug, so that’s what you decided to get. The water was stopped and the floor dampened after coming in contact with your wet feet, the robe you put on felt warm, it’s the closest thing to human touch that you’ve felt in a while, and the shower really did help you feel better. After a good cry, you decided to postmates some food and call your best friend Jayleen to see if she wanted to come over and watch some shows and eat and cry with you, but you were met with 28 missed calls from your boyfriend, and over 50 text messages. Great. You didn’t call him after work to tell him you got home late, and considering that he loved to make shit what it wasn’t, you know that he would have your ass in the morning, and honestly it was too much. He isn’t your father and he clocks your every move.

A sigh escaped your lips as you grabbed a cold bottle of water and let that problem wait for tomorrow and it’s own set of troubles. That was until three sudden thumps hit your door, making you jump, water bottle falling out of your hands. “The fuck banging on my shit so late” you complained cleaning up the mess as your headache settled back in. Clothes still on the floor, you opened the door to face with your “man”. The darkskin in an all black nike tech suit, and yeezy slides had his arms folded over his chest, hoodie up and durag on, only showing a portion of his head, but his dark and angry eyes met yours. You felt tears sting your eyes again, knowing that he was here to argue. “So you not finna let-“ you cut him off “Please don’t start Onyankopon. I’m so exhausted and I’ve had a terrible day at work. I understand I didn’t call you when I got home and that I missed your 28 calls but I was in the shower. Do you feel better about yourself now? I dont give two flying fucks if you’re here to accuse me of cheating again and I’m not boutta force you to believe me when you’re delusional lame ass love making shit up in your head. So stop wasting my fuckin time and leave me the fuck alone.You’re not here when you need to be so you can keep suckin your other hoes off. I could care less,nigga you’re bitch made.”

Your words strong, and it felt like a strong blow to Ony. Tears were running down your face as you practically begged him to stay out of your life, but he still pushed his way through your human barricade, and scanned your apartment. “The fuck your clothes on the floor for, you got other niggas in here?” he asked taking his hood off. You stood there looking at him, words couldn’t describe how much of an idiot this little boy really was. “Did this fucker not hear a word that I just said?” you asked yourself. Your head was hurting and stress was already taking a hold of you, since he didn’t understand english, you had to show him how serious you were about this. If he thought your words hurt, then he underestimated how strong your actual hands were. You landed a slap to his face which sent his airpod flying. It took everything in you not to Madea his ass with a pan of grits but seeing his reaction to your anger was price-less. “GET THE FUCK OUT.” You didnt have to yell for your voice to resemble your mother’s. Stern, sharp, and filled with anger. “You want me to fuck other niggas so I will. Get. The. Fuck. Out.” You said as he stood there, brows furrowed. He watched you grab the top part of your robe, holding them together for comfort as you pointed to the open door. Bonnet revealing the small knot that ties your silk head wrap together. You pushed your glasses up, narrowing your eyes at the bitch in front of you. Everyone in the complex probably heard the argument. No, most definitely heard the argument, your neighbor came out with a broom and was “sweeping the carpet” at one in the morning. Nosy ass.

Onyankopon’s POV:

It took everything in me to keep my laugh in at the sight of the girl. She looked like my mom while scolding me, but she love me too much to let me go for real. “Baby I’m sorry” I said trying to touch her, “Alright I’m done now” i said laughing but she backed away like she was afraid of me. She’s not deadass the fuck she won’t let me touch her for? Nah bro she really got me fucked up this time. “Stop acting like you not finna fuck and forgive me after.” I said sitting on a stool, leaning back on her island. Yea I have my days but she know how i am.. right? “Bitch don’t ‘baby’ me” she said staring me down, eyes still teary, but so soft. I know she still love me.. I mean this wasn’t even our worst argument so i don’t understand the problem. “Alright now you hit me and you got your point across, so let’s jus finish this like usual alright baby.” Putting my hands out for her to come to me, she stared and laughed. Laughed like i was wearing no clothes in the middle of the street. “Yo this wasn’t even a big deal for real so what’s your problem now ma?” I know how to get under her skin, even if she was for real, she would still be thinking about me and how much I get on her nerves. Shit, better than nothin.

“This dumb ass bitch bruh no Onyankopon. I want you out of my apartment, and out of my life” I felt her tug on my sweater and push me out of the front door. She cant be for real right?….

But it didnt strike him that you were for real this time until three days later. HE seen you posted up with his home boy Eren on instagram who always got on him for not treating you well enough. He always told Eren to stay out of his business, which he claimed to be you, but for the next couple weeks Eren would be everywhere but out of your apartment. He was so good at communicating and never forced his way into your life, you two were just friends, and you loved having someone to talk to about your past. However, it was too late for Ony, when he was fuckin his hoes, he never thought, when he was giving head, he didn’t think about how you would feel, but now that he was a free agent, all of it including loneliness would bite him in the ass. He refused to admit it, but you were the best he ever had, and he felt nothing but anger knowing that he would never be able to be in your life again.

THIS WAS TEWWWWW FUN TO WRITE I HOPE MY BOOKIES LOVE IT TOODLES! ~𝑙𝑒𝑙𝑒！

[satoruphilia]

Just Wanna Get High With My Lover (Gojo Satoru x Reader)

tags: mdni, nsfw, weed obviously, smut, slight dubcon (they are high), y/n is a stoner, afab reader, gojo is so cute omg, gojo is emotional, high sex, slight hurt/comfort near end, petnames, established relationship, not proofread

A/N: I haven't wrote in forever omg 1.8k words

Listen to Moonlight - Kali Uchis trust me bae

You let out a loud huff as you face planted onto your bed. You spread your arms out, finally getting a break after your long day. First you were sent on a mission with your boyfriend, Satoru Gojo, to catch a seemingly easy grade 3 curse, then it turns out there were like 5 more no one knew about. Gojo of course made missions impossibly more annoying by always trying to show off. Sometimes he acted like he was still in middle school trying to impress his crush. After that tiring mission, Gojo wouldnt stop nagging you about this new desert place 30 minutes away. "Baby...they literally have everything sweet in the world. We have to try it, just this once!" What do you do to make a pleading child shut up? You give them what they wanted. That was one of your weaknesses, you couldn't deny Gojo's pretty eyes, and he knew it. After spending almost 2 hours getting sweets, you were finally home.

"This is my bed too, be considerate to your roomies!" You rolled your eyes. "It used to be my bed until someone forced themselves into my dorm." You sat up, opening a drawer next to your bed and pulling out a familiar jar. Now it was his turn to sprawl out on the bed, you scooted to the edge of the bed so he couldnt knock anything over. He watched as you set down your grinder as well, preparing to make the evenings blunt. "Now youre gonna kill me with the fumes, hmph!" He was so overdramatic, you just needed to chill. The first time he complained about you smoking around him, you actually did almost put it out. Geto laughed and told you to ignore him. He and Shoko smoked all the time. Shoko was more cigerettes, whereas Geto was 50/50. You preferred your blunts, and the closest thing to Gojo smoking was him breathing out in the cold winter. You licked the paper before preparing your herbs on it, then rolling. Gojo watched closely, he did every time.

"I don't understand why you're always smoking," You picked your lighter out of your pocket and light the blunt. "I don't always smoke. Plus, it calms me down." Being a student sorcerer was stressful, and dating Gojo was even more stressful. Sativa was the one thing keeping you from going insane sometimes. He watched as you took a hit, like a child seeing a exotic animal for the first time.

"Let me see it," You snorted, then you realized he was serious. "Knock yourself out Satoru..." You handed him the blunt. "How do I do it?"

"Satoru, why do you want to smoke? I thought you were 'too healthy' for that?"

"I want to brag to Suguru, about how I can also smoke 420" That sent you lying on your back on the bed, laughing your ass off. "What?!" He seemed offended.

"There ain't no way you just said that corny shit." You were already laughing like you were 5 blunts in, of course Gojo would say something cringe like that. "Satoru, baby" You looked at him with a straight face before another laughing fit.

"What? Is that not cool to say?"

"Thats just-thats not how thats used babe," You still giggled, sitting back up and seeing he was still holding the blunt with confusion. "Okay, first of all, dont be smoking cause you think you'll be coo-"

"Oh my god, chill out mom, I'm an adult!" You rolled your eyes.

"Whatever, give me." You took it into your fingers and put it to your lips, gently sucking in and letting it sit before breathing out. "Like that," He took it and tried to imitate what you did. After 3 seconds of inhaling, he started coughing. You tried not to laugh, making sure he was okay. He stuck his tongue out. "Bleh! That tastes nasty."

"You wanted to try it." He attempted again, this time getting about 4 or 5 seconds of inhale. He coughed less this time. You two took turns before he laid down with a low moan. "I feel like I'm flying." You were a bit faded too, but his eyes were getting pretty red under his sunglasses. You laughed at his state, never expecting to see the greatest sorcerer like this. He stared at the ceiling while you turned on Jhene Aiko. "Fuck... y/n, i feel so good." He almost moaned. You couldnt deny, you blushed at that. You also couldnt believe how dramatic he was sometimes. He sat up. "And hungry."

"Someone has the munchies," You sang along. He grabbed the bag from the sweet shop earlier and stared eating. One thing you never understood about him was how he could eat any sweets he wanted and still have the most handsome abs in the universe. He always had muscles ever since you known him. And he has never gone a day without a million sweets. Made absolutely zero sense. "You know Shaggy was a stoner." You mumbled, taking another hit and sitting next to him, huddling closer.

"From Scooby Doo?"

"No, from Dora, stupid." He laughed. Normally he wouldve had something witty to say back, but he just laughed like you were Pete Davidson.

"It was so obvious he was smoking, do you remember Mary Jane?"

"Hell yeah, she was 12 year old me's idol."

"Huh, i thought it wouldve been Daphne" He took a hit, starting to get the hang of it. He still coughed almost every time.

"Why?"

"Dunno, she was hot." You shook your head, not even wanting to argue or reason. You watched as he switched from donut to blunt, almost confusing the two time to time. He handed you the blunt and you gradually brought it to your lips, feeling the vibe. "Zoinks! Mary Jane's like my favorite name!" You spit out any smoke you inhaled, coughing whilst bursting out laughing. Not only did he say that out of no where, he did a perfect Shaggy impression, causing you both to throw a laughing fit.

"What the hell is wrong with you Satoru?" You said between coughs before laughing again. Eventually, you both calmed down, staring at each other. You were reminded of what you were daydreaming of earlier, how the hell he kept his muscles. How were they so fine. He read the lustful look in your eyes, then pulled you in for a kiss. The blunt was forgotten on the floor, he climbed on top of you, pinning you down while your hands explored his neck and hair. His hair was so soft. His pace was much quicker than the previous times, his kisses moving down your jaw, then your neck. He hands rushed under your baggy t shirt. "W-wait, Satoru" He looked at you. "You're high...are you-"

"I heard being high during sex feels ten times better."

"But you're not-"

"Y/n, Thats the reason I wanted to get high with you. So Yeah, sober me consents and high me consents. Do you consent?"

"Of course," He went back to kissing down your body. "Plus, you're so gorgeous like this." You scoffed.

"Am I not as gorgeous when youre sober?"

"Eh..." You smacked him on the head gently, making him laugh. He came back up to kiss your lips while smiling. He looked at you, taking off his sunglasses. His shining blue eyes contrasted his reddened sclera. "So fucking beautiful," He mumbled. He couldnt stop kissing you, couldn't get enough. Soon your shirt was gone, then his. Next was your bra. It drove you crazy how he could undo your bra with two fingers in literal seconds. Especially when it took you forever. He played with your tits, praising them before kissing further down your stomach. You giggled, his breath tickling you. Everything was much more sensitive. His hands were in your pants before you knew it. He worked his fingers around your clit, then sliding them down further. He watched as your breath quickened the faster he thrusted his fingers into you. He curls them and you were seeing stars.

"Feel good baby?" You nodded. After three songs by Jhene Aiko in a row, Kali Uchis came on. 'Moonlight' Spotify read.

"Cmon Satoru..." You whined out, making him smirk. His sweatpants were pulled down, and he positioned himself infront of your legs. He wouldn't miss out of teasing you, but it didn't take long for him to be thrusting deep inside you. Both of your moans were much louder than usual. You could already see the noise complaints coming in. He had fucked you high before, considering you were high a lot. But you were never this high, and the high sex was never so sensual. He always held back a little when you've smoked a blunt or joint because he wanted to be the reason youre sensitive out your mind. But now you both were feeling so good. You felt something drip onto your cheek, then your forehead. You looked up in confusion, realizing he was crying. "Toru?" He stared at you, mesmerized. You put your hands on his shoulders in attempt to slow his movements. "Toru, whats wrong?"

"Im so fucking in love with you..." He mumbled, putting his head into your shoulder. You moaned into his ear with each thrust. "You dont even understand...I refall inlove with you every fucking day..." You smiled, kissing his cheek.

"Fuck...Love you so much toru," He cried and moaned into your neck, his face was red. He mumbled sweet words into your ears, professing his love over and over. He came inside you with a loud cry, you followed. "Fuck!" His voice cracked, taking deep breaths.

You two laid there trying to catch your breath, he was still holding onto you tight. As if he let go, you'd disappear. The moment was so intimate, there was basically red leds and roses everywhere. It reminded you of the day you realized you were in love with him. It was on a mission sophomore year, you two were paired up to find a grade 1 curse. When you thought you had got rid of it, it came right at you. Gojo had pushed you out of the way, and fought the curse. There was a moment, and total of 20 seconds where you believed he was dead. In those 20 seconds, a million thoughts and emotions overwhelmed you. Guilt, worry, sadness, anger. But he got up like nothing had happened and laughed at your face. You rolled your eyes, but that night your feelings were abundantly clear. Your worst thought during those 20 seconds was "I never got to tell you how much I loved you". You never thought you would use that word in the same sentence as Gojo, but you did, and you meant it. Maybe in another life, he had actually died. Maybe in this life, you were given another chance. So you made sure you didnt waste that opportunity.

"I love you y/n" He wiped his tears, kissing your cheek over and over. "Youre my everything." You smiled at him, catching him in a kiss.

"Zaza got you emotional, huh?"

"I'm seriously your shaggy, you're my Mary Jane" You snorted at that.

"You don't smoke enough for me, plus im not as hippie as her." You said sarcastically, laying on your side when he pulled out. "Anything else?"

"Morticia and Gomez Adams. Cause I'd kill for you." You giggled, rolling your eyes. "Are you calling me emo?"

"Jeez y/n, just accept my love!" He whined.

"Love you too, 'toru"

[veryberryjelly]

hi !! your writing is absolutely incredible <3

🫖 - daylight by taylor swift with james potter please !

𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

" i  don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you. I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you "

you never would have thought that you would be standing here, infront of the man you love, ready to commit to him forever infront of all of your friends and family.

this process had taken a lot longer than you wanted.

not only had the date had to be pushed 3 times because of other peoples schedules, but the venue you wanted had shut down.

so instead of worrying about trying to find another perfect venue and pushing the wedding again, you decided to hold it in james' back garden.

a garden which was definitely more like a field.

but it was beautiful. only 50 people including the two of you.

and it was perfect.

it may have taken 6 months to get here but you were so unbelievably happy it had come.

6 months ago james had taken you by surprise, having your entire flat decked out in candles, and you found him standing in your bedroom a lot more dressed up than you usually see him.

" what's all this, jamie ?" you questioned, dropping your bag down onto the bed, only then spotting the bouquet of your favourite flowers on the bed.

you leant over to pick them up and when you turned back to james he had moved onto the floor, knelt on one knee with a nervous smile on his face.

" what are you doing ?" you questioned, your voice wavering slightly .

you knew what he was doing but for some reason it made you malfunction.

" i am doing something i have wanted to do since the day i met you."

he took a moment and in that moment you felt your eyes burning.

" y/n, you are the most amazing girl i've ever met. even when we were just sat next to eachother in potions, i knew how much i wanted to spend my life with you. you're beautiful, smart, funny and you make every day of my life better just by being in it."

by this point the tears were flowing freely down your cheeks as you clutched the flowers to your chest.

he popped open the box in his hand and it took everything in you to stop yourself from sobbing.

" will you marry me ?"

that moment felt like yesterday when in fact it was far too long to wait for this man to be your husband.

and as you stood there infront of james with your closest friends and family watching you were truly ready to spend your life with james.

thankfully you were first with the vows because you knew that if james went first you wouldn't be able to function after the beautiful words he would definitely spew.

but you still managed to let the tears spill from your eyes at his vows.

" y/n, i've loved you for 9 years, and i want to love you for the rest of time. i dont want to look at anything else now that i've seen you. and i dont want to think of anything else now that i've thought of you. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and i will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much i love you "

[aquz]

babysitter . . . # two

☆ ortho has a temporarily new babysitter and idia has to walk him there every morning before school. idia isn't a fan of clichés but... who knew the babysitter was so cute?

☆ gender neutral reader, reader is kind of a shut-in yet is good with kids, strangers to crushes with idia shroud featuring ortho! magicless au!

opening the door slowly, as to not make an extra amount of noise, idia hauls his tired body into the house. augh, if he's so rich, how hasn't he already hired a driver to take him to and from school? his parents said something about the importance of exercise but in his heat? unbearable. well, it wasn't as hot as it was earlier... which made idia slightly thankful for the fact he had to stay after school extra late. whatever.

the blue-haired man kicked his shoes off by the door and sighed, walking into the kitchen to see his dear brother nagging his mother while she cooked. idia made a face - when was the last time he ate something his mom made? it was usually the housekeeper... oh yeah, she's gone. "idia, you're home late..." his father merely whispers, attention stuck to his laptop. "yeah, i thought i texted you guys that i have club business to attend... oh well." idia shrugged and walked up to ortho, messing with his already messy hair. "how was it?" idia asked lowly, soon making his way back to the staircase and hoped ortho would take the hint to follow him.

"oh, it was so fun!" ortho beamed, following closely behind idia with a huge smile. "okay so firstly, we laughed at you when you left. then, we played until we both took a nap! then it was lunch..." ortho's rambles trailed off in idia's mind. as much as he loved his brother, idia couldn't really pay attention to the retelling of ortho's day. he had other things on his mind - like video games.. and the exam. opening the door to his room, idia was immediately hit with a blast of cool air from his super cool fans - he put them together himself. throwing his bag on the already messy ground and tearing off his hoodie, idia flopped on his bed as ortho continued with recounting his day. "it was so awesome! their collection was so big - it could rival yours one day, big brother!" ortho giggled.

"yeah?" is all idia could reply with, smiling just a bit. he reached his hand out to high-five ortho. "i'm glad to hear it wasn't a total snooze-fest..." ortho laughed at idia's wording. "yeah! hey - i'll be back, okay? i need to go help mom cook! she asked just for my help!" ortho gleamed and ran off back downstairs. idia rolled to his stomach and shoved his face into a pillow. she probably needed ortho's help because he has more of a clue about cooking than she does.. sad considering he's but a little baby.. a small guy, you may even say. idia pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked through the notifications. his favorite streamer went live during his mock exam - ugh... a few messages from his online friend group chat... a reminder to log in to receive 300 gems... azul's message.

it was sent a little bit ago, weird how he didn't get the notification. clicking on it, idia remained on his stomach.

azul [ 4:50 PM ]

Hey, guess what I found out? We have a fairly new student who doesn't even come to class. They were enrolled just a few months ago... does that make you feel any better about not coming to school?

idia [ 5:15 PM ]

lol who said i felt bad about it ... i prefer staying home anyway ahaha

idia quirked an eyebrow as if he was looking azul in the face.

idia [ 5:16 PM ]

anywayz why did u tell me this?? r u gonna scam them like you do to all the other newbies?

azul [ 5:17 PM ]

Scam? Everything I do is fair and clear; I don't see what you mean. I told you incase you happened to know who it was? Maybe you knew them because you also attend school online for the most part?

idia [ 5:20 PM ]

nah i dont know who they are. if u want to know them, i am NOT your guy lol ask that freak with the blond bob... hes like a professional stalker.

azul [ 5:22 PM ]

I'll pass. Floyd and Jade won't step foot near him so why would I? And no. I'm not scared of him. Just unsettled.

idia let out a heavy sigh through his nose and chortled. well, that conversation isn't going anywhere anyways. idia turned his 'do not disturb' on, turning his phone horizontally and got onto his favorite mobile game. time to grind until the sun shines!

idia felt two small hands on his side and a gentle whisper. "iddiaaaa! wake upppp! we're going to be lateeee!" the voice told him. opening one eye groggily, idia clutched his pillow harder as if the small hands would rip him from his bed at any moment. "what is it, ortho?"

ortho sighed and shook his head, clearly an act to get idia up. "we're gonna be late! you slept in and you have to take me to the babysitter! but you also have part two of your mock exams!" he said. idia sat up slowly. he couldn't smell the coffee or the poorly made breakfast his mother probably tried to make herself. ah, they must've left for work already. looking ortho up and down, it was clear to idia that his little brother wasn't lying. he was fully dressed and ready, while idia was still in bed. he really did game until the shine shone. idia threw off his blanket. "alright, alright. i'll meet you downstairs."

idia rushed to get ready and eventually made his way to meet ortho downstairs. his hoodie was half on, a mouthful of chips he had stashed in his room, and looking half dead. that was today's look. ortho made a comically dramatic frown at his brother before handing him a white envelope. "this is for the babysitter, mom said she wanted to pay them early..." idia nodded and finished getting himself together. slinging his bag on and nearly stomping his shoes on, he walked past ortho to the front door. "let's get a move on, okay?"

ortho nodded and followed. but he was right as well, idia was running late. the sun was higher in the sky then it usually is when he leaves... and it was hotter too. ortho had no problems with it, though. the walk to the babysitter's was like yesterday; hot as all hell and ortho was acting odd. idia looked down to ortho after noticing his silence. "are you... okay? you seemed so eager to get me to take you over to the babysitter's but now you're all quiet..."

ortho shook his head. "i'm just thinking. i wish i could keep this babysitter... they're so fun and they really remind me of you! actually... you two should meet!" ortho softly thought out loud. idia quirked an eyebrow. "eh? you want me to meet your TEMPORARY babysitter? that's definitely not.... necessary. plus, i'm busy..." idia replied as he shielded his face from the overbearing sun with his hand. ortho huffed. "but you two are so similar! you would really like them, i think... you know, we don't just play with toys all day... we talk too, and they are super cool and nice!"

idia didn't respond. he didn't doubt they were nice, don't babysitters have to be nice? unless they're a cliché babysitter... which is exactly what he thought. they were the hot babysitter in every media ever; so they could be mean too, just not to kids. idia shook his head to himself. maybe he's finding a reason to avoid them? he could just be scared of pretty people... but why would he even be scared of them? it's not like he HAS to talk to them daily, after his housekeeper gets back, everything will be back to normal. and why is he thinking so hard about this? why is he making up excuses not to take ortho's advice and get to know them? sure it was useless, since the two had no business together... but it would make ortho happy, right? idia fought the urge to instinctively ball his fist up... but he was holding the babysitter's pay.

speaking of which, he realized that he was suddenly at their doorstep. ortho knocked a few times and low and behold... they opened it with the same smile. "hey, ortho! hi, idia!" they greeted as ortho leaned in excitedly for a hug, which they gladly reciprocated. idia was just standing there again! he really has to stop being awkward! "u-uh, hey. my parents.. wanted me to give you... y-your pay." he said as he stuck the envelope out, a little quicker than expected and startled himself. the sweet babysitter took it. using their nail, they began to open it with a soft smile. "wow, that's way earlier than expected! thanks a ton, to your parents and you for delivering!"

idia stuttered out a reply of 'you're welcome' and managed to meet their eyes to get another good look. he made it in time to catch their reaction to seeing the money. "wha..! t-this... is mine?!" they gasped, clutching the envelope to their chest like idia would talk it back and run off, like a youtube prankster. "y-yes?" idia replied, nodding his head to which ortho laughed. strange how quiet he is when his brother and babysitter interact...

"t-this is so much, wahhh.." they trailed off. "but i'm thankful! i'll be able to raise enough money in no time~" idia tilted his head. "eh? are you... raising money for something?" he wondered out loud, making the babysitter shake their head. "well, not like.. charity, no. i'm saving up for something i want really badly, nothing important, and my parents told me i should work for it... that's all! o-oh, hey, you're on your way to school, no? you should check the time..."

idia nodded absentmindedly as he brought his phone to his face. he clicked on the display and seen the time - 7:55 - his eyes widened. "gahhh! i'm going to be late! i've gotta go!" idia's outburst startled the babysitter but all they did was smile and wave. "have fun!"

ortho brought a hand to his mouth as he giggled, just as he did the day before. "he was so definitely lost in your eyes~ that's why he's late! i thought long and hard about it ever since yesterday, i think he likes you!" ortho beamed, making their eyes widen.

"oh, you think? i don't know... but i also don't think he was looking at my eyes. if he was, i could've probably better read his emotions... he looked more scared and his stare was that of a dead fish rather than someone in love.." the babysitter laughed, making ortho shrug. "a dead fish in love."

authors note? this chapter was very... "aquz is just typing to add words" and i'm sorry about that! i wanted to make it longer and show what idia was thinking about instead of just his actions but i really do have a rambling habit,,, i hope this was up to expectations and thanks for the love on the first chapter!

[maliciousblog]

Teacher Yuta

As Mr. Nakomoto was doing his morning rounds.

He spotted you by the water fountain, hiking your skirt up.

He took a second to admire your thighs, he wondered what it would be like to run his hands up and down those thighs, what it would be like to liter them with kisses and beautiful little hickeys to mark you as his.

Oh how he longed to have you.

He was rudely awoken from his fantasies by the bell.

He watched you as you ran to class and smirked to himself.

You had managed to stir something in him that he himself didn't know existed.

He walked into class only to notice you flirting with that little brat Henry.

God how he hated that boy.

He hated the way you laughed at his jokes.

He hated the way you looked at him, like a lovesick puppy.

He wanted to snap the poor boys neck in half every time he caught Henry's hand brush past your skin.

He slammed his books down on the desk, startling the class and successfully shutting them up.

"Get your books out page 169"

As an hour passed and class came to an end

Yuta decided to hand out the papers he had graded.

One by one he called out the students and watched as they exited class with their papers.

Last one up was y/n

Kim y/n  12/50. He eyed the paper and then you.

Tsk "I made the test easy and you still couldn't get a passing score dumb bitch".

You were taken aback by his comment.

Something about him changed. You couldn't quite tell what it was. There was just something dark in his eyes or maybe you were imagining things cause everyone had left and now it was only the both of you.

He walked up to your desk and slammed the paper down causing you to flinch.

"Are you even listening to me"

You nod your head, trying to hold back the tears.

You never knew what you did wrong, you managed to score good grades in every class but his.

He was always mean to you.

But when you tried to tell others that something was wrong with Mr. Nakomoto they just brushed it off because they only saw him as this perfect teacher, they never saw the way he looked at you.

"Aaahhh" he groaned in frustration

"Dont tell me you're going to cry about this now".

"Get up" he yanked you buy your arm.

"Pack your stuff up and come to my office"

You just meekly nodded not holding back a snarky comment, not wanting to make him angrier than he already was.

You started to walk to his office knowing that you are in for a long ass lecture.

You slowly knocked and opened the door.

Before you could react you felt him yanking you inside and shoving you onto the desk,

He turned back and locked the door.

You were about to yell when you felt a sharp slap land on your face causing you to land your knees.

You tried to get up.

Yuta placed his foot on your shoulder pushing you down.

"Stay down, if you don't want me to do worse.

Its just you and me here no one can save you, so why don't you save us both some trouble and just obey."

He bent down to your eye level and gently tucked away a strand of hair behind your ear.

He caressed your face.

"You really are something aren't you, such a pretty little flower, so delicate, you need to be hidden from the world otherwise you will be ruined, you understand that don't you y/n.

Whatever I do, I do it for your own good."

He said with a sinister smile on his face.

His hands trailed down from your face to your neck with one swift motion he yanked you up onto your legs and pushed you onto his desk.

It happened so quickly you could barely react.

Panic set, you tried to move put he put his arms around you caging you in.

He used one arm to cover your mouth, he used the other to untie his necktie and used it to tie your hands together. He slid a finger across your wet folds and slowly moved them back and forth, without warning he slid a finger into you causing you to gasp and try to push him back but your restraints prevented you from doing so. Seeing you struggle just turned him on even more he started to pump his fingers in and out of cause you to let out a string of curses but just as you were about to cum he pulled out his fingers causing you to whine and thrust your hips forward in an attempt to get some sort of friction on your throbbing cunt.

"Such a desperate slut"

Yuta unzipped his pants and let out his cock that was already dripping pre cum. He slowly teased you rubbing his cock across your cunt sending shivers down your spine. He slowly slid it into you. You felt so full.

He started to rock his hips back and forth slowly and first then he started to loose control and started to thrust into you so hard the desk threatened to shatter.

You soon reached your high and passed out as yuta filled you with his cum.

He cleaned you up and looked down at you unconscious form. He opened his brief case and pulled out a syringe with a clear liquid he gently grabbed your neck and stuck the syringe in you felt a sudden prick and a sensation of a cool liquid course through your neck. You felt the little strength remaining in you leaving all you could feel was numbness as everything went dark.

That was last time anyone ever saw you.

I'm just getting a hang of this app. Lol

#yandere #da

[fionajames]

how the wound heals

this is a bit short, but here. supposed to be hurt/comfort but more hurt. like, 70/30 instead of 50/50. this is for @lovejoysoots, so you can blame them for making u cry/j (dont actually, their amazing and he's my friend and epic.) (u can blame me).

PLEASE PEOPLE REQUEST THINGS SO I CAN STOP SQUEEZING IDEAS OUT OF THE SAME TWO PEOPLE

Anyways, enjoy, i hope this makes u cry (i say lovingly)

Ahsoka stared at the wall across from her, studying every scratch and inch of it. She’d been doing that for what felt like hours, waiting on Rex’s return as the emotionless numb infesting her grew with every passing second.

Some things we can’t stop, she thought, the image of Jesse ready to shoot them appearing in her head. She flinched, thinking of his laugh and warm presence, and then the lifeless look in his eyes when they’d discovered his body.

The door opened and she turned to it half-heartedly, watching Rex shuffle inside and close it behind him, pulling his hood off. The bags under his eyes reflected her own as he sat down next to her, draping an arm over her shoulders wordlessly.

“It’s not your fault, Vod’ika,” he whispered and she sniffled, feeling her heart ache. Ahsoka desperately tried to cling onto any maturity her body contained, but all of a sudden, she felt like a child. Like her fourteen-year-old self, seeing her first friend die. A clone who’d cheered her up after Teth, had died in the next battle.

“Maybe it is,” she murmured, tears filling up her eyes and collecting in her lashes like raindrops. One fell to roll down her cheek and she brushed it away. Rex’s face softened in despair, pulling her into him for a hug. That was all it took for her to crack. Ahsoka let out a cry as she sobbed, burying her face in the crook of his neck as Rex soothingly stroked her lekku.

“There was nothing you could do.” Rex closed his eyes as his own tears fell from his golden eyes. Holding his sister close to him, he whispered comfort to her in words of velvet. “Nothing.”

Ahsoka weeped as the pain of the Order hit her again. “He’s dead, because of me. They all died, because of me.” She remembered the shattering feeling of Anakin's cries, the cries that made her instinctively turn to Rex. She’d barely had any time to think about it at that moment when she was fired upon, but now, it was all she thought about.

“Nothing” Rex repeated, tightening his grip on her as though he feared she might disappear. Ahsoka was the only thing Rex had, and Rex was the only thing Ahsoka had. But due to their situation, they had to split up. “One more week.”

Ahsoka nodded, scrambling to stand. Rex looked in heartbreak at her crestfallen face.

Oh, she was still just a kid. 

So was he. 

“I don’t want to separate,” she told him gently. Ahsoka thought of the time she and Barriss had been on the transport when the mind controlling worms had taken over. They’d separated, and their situation had only worsened.

Rex stood, wrapping his arms around her again. They stood and hugged in mostly silence, sniffles here in there as their sorrow encased them. But at least they weren’t alone.

“We have to,” Rex whispered his response, rocking them back and forth slightly. “For both of our safeties.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” she croaked out and he smiled sympathetically at his younger sister.

“It’s for my safety,” he replied, knowing that the only way to convince her was to remind her that he was keeping him safe. Ahsoka cared about Rex above herself, and he hated it, but it was true. It was a bit hypocritical of him - honestly - as he cared about her over himself. They were brother and sister, best friends, and it showed. “Just as I’m doing for you.”

“One more week?” Ahsoka pleaded, he nodded, even though he’d already agreed.

“One more week.”

alright, hope i see some tears.

love y'all, have a goodday/night

request stuff please im on my hands and knees begging.

[angelliicc]

depend on you

“a hand that reminds me of the faith in my dreams

hold it harder every moment”

masterlist

a/n hello everyoneee!! heres. semi short story, enjoy!!

warnings mental health, not proofread, possible suicide warning

| you and your mom always had an off and on relationship. one day, she’d be admiring you, telling how much she loved you and that she would do anything for you. then the next day, she would yell at you, you never do anything right, that you can’t show your emotions and you can only feel a certain way all the time.

one day, you and your mother got into an argument, and you just burst. all the emotions you were bottling up started to explode. when she went to bed, you got your keys and drove to the only person you trusted, ellie, your girlfriend. you cried, the tears couldn’t stop flowing on your face. all you thought about was being far away from your mom.

you drove to her house. a 5 minute drive seemed like 50 minutes. as you got there, you texted her.

r: “are u awake?”

e: “yeah, why?”

r: “im outside”

the next moment, you heard footsteps shuffling. she opened the door, immediately seeing your face all rough. mascara and tears all over cheeks.

“oh my god. what happened? whats wrong?” ellie immediately asking you. she grabbed you for a hug, and immediately cried in her arms.

“its okay, im right here. you can tell me in a moment, alright?” she reassured, kissing and rubbing your head. “lets go upstairs, alright?”

you nodded your head and agreed, as she was still by your side.

you both plopped on the bed, immediately you started to cry again.

“i don’t like seeing my girl like this. what happened?” she asked, feeling aching in her heart seeing you all upset.

“its my mom again, she’s never happy with me.” you told her “im tired of this.”

“hey.” she told you “you’ve told me a lot about her. its gonna be hard, but let it roll off you back. you have a couple of years until college, and you will be free baby, okay?”

“i’m trying, i really am. im tired of her. i dont think i can do this anymore.” you told ellie, breaking down.

“hey, hey, hey, what do you mean by that?” she asked, concerned.

“nothing, its nothing.” you told her, wiping your tears away with you sweater.

“it’s something. baby you know you can talk to me.” she said, now sitting next to you on the edge of the bed.

you gave her a look, signaling for her to know what it meant.

“baby, no, please don’t even think about doing that.” she told you, holding your face.

“im tired baby.” you told her, still crying a little bit.

“you’re not going without me, im gonna help you. i don’t want you to think like that, ever. okay?” she said, lying down and pulling you on top of her. you held her arm as you both lied down. “okay.” you told her.

“i love you, and i will always love you, okay?” ellie said, kissing your head as she played with your hair.

“i love you too, thank you els.” you said, whispering.

“you wanna stay the night?” she asked.

“nah, i dont wanna get yelled at even more.” you said getting up.

“text me when you get home. ill see you tomorrow. i love you.” she hugged you and rubbed your back as she gave you a kiss before you left to go back home.

slowly i’ll hold your hands

i know you've been waiting for me

[maybe-i-wanna-die]

I am 8 days sober from alcohol. I am 51 days clean of methamphetamine. When do I start to feel good about my choices?

For the first time in over a year, I am sitting with my thoughts and feelings. No work, no people, no substances to distract me- and it's excruciating.

It's been 8 weeks since I was assaulted. It feels like it happened a lifetime ago. I have come to terms with the fact that I did, in fact say no to the initial advances and it wasnt my fault. I did not ask for it. I froze. But that is was not consent. I have come to terms with the fact that I will probably not seek intimacy for a long long time. Nor will I seek a relationship for a very very long time either. I am completely okay with that. I dont think my heart can deal with being obliterated after being blindsided. 10 years. I didnt see it coming. I had no say in the matter.

I thought I was doing well in looking after my physical health during my drug use. I ate what I could manage, hydrated, took multivitamins and electrolytes. But I had lost a lot of weight. For the first time in my life, I was worried for myself. Despite being hospitalized with an eating disorder and being told I was putting my life at risk, a glance I caught of my reflection was the first time I think I saw myself how others must see me. For the first time in my life, I saw what they saw and it scared me.

I will never forget tearing open the seal of a tub of Ben and Jerry's icecream and shovelling it into my mouth like my life depended on it. But now I long for that thinness.

At my worst I drank a case of beer a day, on top of what food I ate, and I was still losing weight. Sure, my nails were brittle, my hair was thinning and dry and my face was angular. Out of over 50 sets of pretty bras, I had two on rotation that I could fill out. I hovered between self care and self loathing. I liked my body but I hated I looked like I had aged.

Obviously now I have an appetite. Now I have to fight it again. Just like all those years ago. I thought I was over it.

The pantry, fridge and freezer I stocked up with calorie dense, nutritious foods that were easily accesible for when i was using was no longer an ally. I was suddenly hugry again and I ate what I had. I could not justify throwing that all out. And I did not anticipate just how hungry I was. I wish I had told myself to slow down.

Now that I am starting over again, I have filled my larder with more sensible foods and ingredients. I have cut out alcohol in hopes that I could eat sensibly without hating myself as much, for I'd saved 110cal per drink. To be so vain as to choose sobriety. Though it does make sense to me to cut out the depressant one consumes when plagued with thoughts of despair and depression.

My body was obviously in crisis. I put weight on quickly and it felt like I was wearing somebody else's body. It still does. I never thought that I would grasp at my flesh and cry again. I never thought I would once more, want to take to my flesh with those clippers they use to shave meat off in a kebab store. I thought all that was behind me. I hate how fat I feel. How uncomfortable it is just to be.

Rationally, I know that prolonged meth use has fucked up my dopamine levels and changed the entire landscape of my brain's reward system. I understand I have been listening to music turned up to 11 and now it is so hard to hear the subtle nuances of a finely conducted orchestra. But in reality, I am just miserable. I am tired. I have no desire for anything. Nothing makes me feel motivated. I have to psych myself up for a day to do my laundry. But I do make sure I acknowledge every small task I do complete. I congratulate myself for doing the thing. Even if it was as simple as taking down the recycling. I feel no reward for doing the thing. I am still recalibrating. I am absolutely miserable.

There is a part of me that so badly wishes I could just be miserable and have energy. I could be miserable and thin again. But there is also a part of me that is so stubborn that every day that goes by, I know I would hate myself for having to go back to Day 1 of sobriety again.

I am now stone cold sober and I hate myself. I am so depressed I cannot function. I make sure I eat and bathe. I make sure I am hydrated and get sun and fresh air like a pathetic houseplant. I want to not feel so sad. I want to feel good about myself.

My hair is glossy and thick again. My nails are growing like they have never grown before. Though I also attribute that to the complete lack of cooking or general living, like a racehorse that has grown old and lame. My skin is awful because I am stressed. But i know that psoriasis and dermatitis comes and goes with my histamine levels. I know in my rational mind, things take time. Time is moving like molasses and I am absolutely exhausted.

I am doing things to help myself with blind faith and science. I got a blood test and it turns out I was anaemic, vitamin B12 and vitamin D deficient. So I decided to sit in the sun, go for walks and try to run again. I dismay at how weak I feel. How fat I feel in my workout clothes. But that is something I can control with time.

I am administering Vitamin B12 shots intramuscularly every fortnight. I am eating leafy green vegetables and salmon for Omega-3 . I am taking multivitamins and drinking kefir for probiotic benefits. They say gut health and the mind are intrinsically linked. I am eating more fiber and cutting out processed foods. I am drinking more water and no more alcohol. I am doing what I can to help myself, even though they do not feel good or natural but with a blind faith that they will help me.

What I failed to anticipate was that not only did my physical health return, so did my libido. Sex has always been an important part of my life. It was agency and ownership of my pleasure. It was a heightened, almost enlightened control I could exercise over my body. I have always been frank about my desires to others and to myself. It is one game I had mastered and was exploring all the side quests.

I self injured for the first time in forever after I was assaulted. I never thought I'd do that again. But this time it was like the bright colorings of a poison dart frog. All over my buttocks, and my legs were markings to signal to stay away. I am dangerous. I am crazy. And you never stick your dick in crazy. Again and again I made myself as unattractive as I possibly could in the most drastic way I knew how.

I never wanted to be seen as a sexual being by another again. I never wanted to be an object of desire; I have struggled with this since a young age where such thoughts should a haze on the horizon. But now, I know it is something that I cannot control. Not after what happened that night.

No drug high or state of mind will ever compare to the euphoria of orgasm. And I have been robbed of it. I had accepted that I will never trust another for a long long time- with my heart or my body. I was enough on my own. But that night I was robbed of the ability to enjoy being in my body. My self sufficiency. My ability to love myself for a little bit. The ability to make myself feel good. To be content for a while- in my mind, in my body and in the world.

I crave that euphoria and that release. I crave the feeling of being out of my body and out of my mind for a while. The most curious feeling of being hyper aware and present in my physical self, yet dissociated and completely divorced from the typical state of consciousness. I miss the complete control and lack there of in that moment. I am Schrodinger's cat for a little while. The electric warmth that oscillates through my body long after. It was not a matter of state of mind. It was not a matter of whether I wanted it or not. It certainly not for a lack of trying. In every which way I knew how. It was meditative and wholesome and yet there is now a impenetrable shield to something that was easily accessible and as natural as breathing. Something I could tap into and take as much or as little as my heart desired. I would gladly give up alcohol and drugs and carbs and flowers and music and all things that make my heart sing for the rest of my life if it meant that I could just get that back.

I have been robbed of my ability to make things okay. I have been robbed to self soothe. I have lost critical agency over my own body and the ability to love myself. All I am left to work with is an unslightly body and a heart full of frustration, dejection and disappointment. It's time to move on. I am but a husk of myself. It looks like my home but I no longer live here.

[ashisgreedy]

Fanfiction Writing Asks

(Link to post)

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike? - Most of my ideas come from daydreams.

Where do you get your fic ideas? - Songs, art, c.ai, talking with friends.

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself? - I usually share them with someone. But If its super niche, I just keep quiet and write it lol.

How do you choose which fics to write? - What ever is sparking the most joy at the moment or what ever is easiest for my brain to produce.

How many wips do you have? - About 8 and countless other random ideas/inspos for fics. I What fandoms/pairings are they for? - HL | Garreth | Jackdaw | Seb | Omi |

What’s the last line you wrote? - "Garreth gasped out of a dead sleep, his eyes shot open as he cluched his chest, panting. He sat up in bed and tore the covers off. Pulling the string to his bedside lamp, he sighed in relief."

Post a snippet from a wip. -Does that count ^

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip. - He gets to start over again, anew.

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip? NA

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time? -Usually just work on whatever is calling me that day, but I do hop around if I am just not feeling something that day.

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around? -I try my hardest to write it in order, but most of the time I do write snips of the fic here and there as I outline it just to get the scene out of my system.

Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them? -Yes, about 99% of the time. It's very rough and just random dialogue I want to use, locations, phrases ect. I do stray from it. Sometimes the ideas coming as I write are better than the outline. What's the fun in always coloring in the lines? :D

Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently? -Yesss. Usually music without lyrics. Lyrics distract me. What I'm currently listening to as we speak.

What is your favorite location and position to write in? -My couch, criss cross apple sauce with the laptop on my popup coffee table.

What’s your favorite time to write? -Anytime really. Fav time is when the inspo is just too strong to ignore!

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop? -HAND!? Good lord, no lmfao. I do use my phone when I'm at work (or in bed) and my laptop when not at work.

Do you have a writing routine? -Get horny, then write smut.

Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research? -Fuck no lol. I also didn't grow up with HP and I can't be fucked to look up what an auror is or if vampires exist in the world. (I have read some of the books and watched all the moves many times over. Just didn't grow up picking apart every HC and what not. sad face)

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters? -I have OC's in my head. One in particular is Cole. I wrote him into one fic, but most people dont like/dont care about OCs. So, I just have him in my back pocket for now. I prefer cannon chars I guess. Or just use MC/reader insert.

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? -Most of my fics are outside of the cannon-ish to fit my narrative. So... 50/50?

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots? -ONESHOTS!

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles? -Usually before, or while writing the summary. The 5% of the time I can't think of a title I use song lyrics as inspo. Boom, title done.

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest? -I would say writing the beginning is the easiest. I just wish the damn thing would write it self. I wanna read it! lol

How do you choose whose POV to write in? -Depending on the story line. I usually write povs from the perspective of the MC/reader, but I do have a wip where its from Gars prospective. I just don't like writing from the guys prospective cuz it seems less immersive? idk.

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)? -I like the outlining process and the finished product lol

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process? -Coming up with reasons WHY they are at a location or WHY they are doing a task. I just want to write smut :(

What area of writing do you feel strongest in? -Uh, Hm.... Maybe making things short and sweet and easy to read. This is mostly so my short attention span can edit the fic. Otherwise, I cant be fucked to care if its super wordy.

What area of writing do you want to improve in? -Showing not telling. "He was angry" vs. "He stomped out of the room and slammed the door." I just need to work on it.

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of? -That I've ever finished anything lol. And, that I stick to writing what I want and not writing to please others. Its good because this way I don't experience burnout like I did in other fandoms.

How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft? -I try not to edit as I write. It slows down the process so much! Then I am left with something half-assed and half finished. I usually edit after i've written what I want and add more/take away from the fic as I see fit. I then run it through grammarly software and then put it into a text to speech generator to have the fic read to me outloud to catch any strange wordings or errors that way. Words nicely.

Do you use a beta reader/editor? -Nah. I dont really care to have anyone edit it for me. I'll do it myself and not bother anyone lol. If i have someone edit something, ill be sure to pay them for their time.

Do you take fic requests?  Why or why not? -Yeah! but, it will most likely come out as a drabble and I will only do things that 'spark joy' so to speak.

Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most? -Nah, I do like to keep it under 5k because its harder to edit the longer the fic gets and, like I said, I have a short attention span for editing.

How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics? -I guess a good amount? Helps to have done most of the stuff I write about so I can accurately describe it.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted? -Garr's anal fic.

What fic are you proudest of? - atm Jackdaw smut cuz it made a lot of ppl start to simp for him and everyone was super nice about it. So pure D:

What fic has been the hardest for you to write? -Continuing my Professor Garreth Series that I started this blog with. I just lost interest from some feedback I was getting about it being too short and yea...

What is your most self-indulgent posted story? -Jackdaw smut

What’s your most self-indulgent wip? -Gar is a shifter in it 👀

What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic? NA

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written? - Garreth

What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with? "I Like Men On Their Knees~"

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet? -Dub con, Mommy Kink, pegging, pain kink

What is your favorite genre to write? - SMUT! Romance

What genre/trope do you tend to write the most? -Smut, romance.

If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be? -Modern Au

Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of? -Kinda hate writing fluff tbh. I like reading fluff about Gar but I don't like coming up with the fluff on my own. I just want to be railed.

Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom? -Garreth, and nope. Still Gar lol

What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer? NA

How would you describe your writing style? -Short, sweet, easy to read? (hopefully. at least for me it is.)

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read? -Uh, no actually. Well, I want to read more intense shit about gar but the fandom is still kinda new so that will come eventually. lol

What’s the average word count of your fics? -UHHH 3-6k?

What is the most-used tag on your ao3? Garreth Weasley x MC

What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics? I read this Q like 4 times and I still have no idea what its asking.

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? -Yea... orgasms, she's always "flying" like stfu Ash 😂

Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance? -Yes, but I don't have the attention span for that. You get what ya got.

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics? -I do it sometimes! If I think of it while writing haha.

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written? NA

Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them? - Yes! I've hosted events in the past in other fandoms. I will do it again for this one eventually. I like them/they are exhausting. Lost of fun! can lead me to burn out if I'm not careful.

In [insert fic], what inspired the idea for the plot? NA In [insert fic], what’s your favorite scene that you wrote? NA In [insert fic], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut? NA What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]? NA If you rewrote [insert fic] now, would you change anything? NA If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would happen in it? What’s a fun fact about [insert fic]? NA If a fic was titled [insert made up title], what would this story be about/how would you write it? NA

Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do? - Cuffmeinblack's writing and Blueraineshadows. I look up to both of them a lot. Their writing is so descriptive without being too wordy and its always fun to read!

What are your favorite fics at the moment? -I'm just happy anytime Garreth fics are posted tbh

Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3? -Yes! I try to sub to all my friends.

Do you spend more time reading or writing? - Writing. I get this weird readers-block??? I can only read things like one or two days a week and mayyyybe if something is super short, I'll give it a go. Otherwise, it goes into my TBR for when I have the capacity to read and comprehend.

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten? -That the fic was 'hot' and that I caputred the intimate moment well! I was so happy to hear that. AND just all the comments of people liking my stuff I love yall sm.

What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing? -Just that they thought it was hot. Very nice of them.

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love? - Garreth fics. This fandom is mostly Seb and Omi stans. (Love seb and omi) but Garreth stuff gets ignored/overlooked a lot. NBD, I like writing and reading what gets put out.

Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect? -Jackdaw smut I REALLY thought people were going to ignore this one, but it blew up and I was so shocked.

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external? -I take time off from it.

Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction? -Its a great outlet! And I love creating content a lot. It's fun finding more like minded people to brainrot with.

What motivates you during the writing process? -....cock

Do you have any writing advice you want to share? -Use a program to read your fic to you out loud. like this one. It helps a lot to find errors, weird wording, and pacing issues. And, write what YOU want to write. Being popular is cool and all, but it sucks being popular and being unhappy|burnt out.

Free space - asker can come up with any writing or fic-related question they want!

[katsutora]

— HOMESICK

ft. isagi yoichi ; itoshi rin ; nagi seishiro ; bachira meguru ; chigiri hyōma ; itoshi sae

summary: them picking you up after a trip

note: i’d like to be everyone’s weekly teeth rotting fluff provider but then i remembered i dont have it in me to serve content every week LMFAO i lack prompts besties

⚘ ISAGI YOICHI

ㅤㅤhas a relatively normal reaction as he sees you approaching him, but is actually trying his best not to freak out. he smiles at you softly as if he didn’t almost explode from all the excitement. once you’re in the car, he doesn’t let go of your hand the entire trip home. can’t stop staring at you too (a huge simp, good for you) because it’s been a while since he last saw you in person and it’s still kind of surreal to him. hmm, what was that? hands on the wheels, eyes on the road? yoichi, seriously, pay attention oh my god. you better promise you’ve tried everything and that this really is the last resort. “kaiser is in the middle of the street.” oh? oh. oh shit. “i'll run him over.” i mean... you gotta do what you gotta do to snap him out of it, right? (no)

⚘ ITOSHI RIN

ㅤㅤhe’s definitely in a sour mood. seething. most likely scared every single person who passed by him. the fact that he’s rapidly gaining fame doesn’t help at all (prayer circle for that one poor kid who only wanted to ask him for his autograph). he’s leaning against the wall, looking super annoyed. the root of the problem? not the fact that he has to be there of course, more like why the hell haven't you arrived at the gate yet (calm down rin it’s only been like ten minutes lmao). misses you as hell but won’t tell? that rhymes. immediately wraps you in his coat as an excuse to hug you tightly. “t’s not that cold, rin.” refuses to let you go. he’s clinging onto you for dear life as if he’s finally found you after a lifetime. “i know. just a little longer.” his grip only tightens when he notices people looking at you two. gee, they’re just trying to get to the exit gate, stop blocking it smh.

⚘ NAGI SEISHIRO

ㅤㅤit’s almost comical how he suddenly turned into a lighthouse as soon as he spotted you. people are putting on their sunglasses indoors, someone help. mandatory bear hug (but there’s a 50% chance that you’ll both fall to the ground because he can be clumsy like that). “that was so cringe.” “you love it, though.” “i love you.” ugh sappy. if somehow you survived that acrobatic act, he’ll bend his 190cm ass after putting you down so you can kiss the top of his head! if you don’t, well, he's not gonna stand up any time soon because it’s “comfy” and definitely not because getting up is a hassle. gets super chatty all the way home. “did you know shidou decked rin again today?” “barou planted his face on the ground yesterday, king who?” “i told choki to watch the food in the oven btw.” says it in the most casual manner; you can’t tell if he’s joking or not. “mhm. wait WHAT?”

⚘ BACHIRA MEGURU

ㅤㅤa pinball. will not hesitate to break through a crowd, bumping into everyone and everything. should be classified as a hazard to society. no jk. but he did almost tackle a kid when he was running towards you. has his arms wide open and ready to tackle you too embrace you. “you’re back! welcome home!” “i’m home!” “welcome home!” “i’m home!” don’t you have anything else to say besides that lmfao (it really went on for a solid five minutes). falls asleep on your lap in the car since he already spent all his energy on that whole “embodying a golden retriever” thing back there. looks so peaceful and angelic like that. also sleep-talks. “y’re hmm”. you didn’t expect him to remain this quiet but it’s the best nap he’s had in a while so uhh “karaoke night?” karaoke night he said. good luck to your poor neighbors tonight.

⚘ CHIGIRI HYŌMA

ㅤㅤladies and gentlemen, him. a runway model. is he picking someone up or is he going somewhere? with looks like that, no one will ever know. forget the elegant saunter; the moment he saw you, he full on sprinted. the type that brings you flowers and your favorite snacks. seems like someone who knows what he’s doing right? but when you pat his head in response to his warm welcome, he short-circuited because you just stole his line. “i’ve missed you.” immediately softens and melts in your embrace. you think it’s all calm and that until his sister arrives out of nowhere, calling out both of your names and the next thing you know, she’s taking pictures of you as if this is your graduation day. “lookie over here, you two!” you’ve never seen someone speedrunning five stages of grief in record time.

⚘ ITOSHI SAE

ㅤㅤmans turning the airport into a red carpet premiere smh; cameras flashing everywhere, people eager to ask him questions, etc. he’s learning that looking down on his phone isn’t a good enough disguise, and that his bored face isn’t scary enough to fend off his fans. oh finally, he thought as he spotted you amidst the crowd. “over here, sae!” “oh my, it’s itoshi sae!” but he has his gaze fixated on you and only you. don’t worry, of course he’ll notice if you grow uncomfortable with all the attention and will immediately wrap his arm around your figure. !! breaking news: itoshi sae quits the world of football and is now becoming a personal bodyguard. navigates through the crowd while mumbling “fall under my spell.” boy what they’re not shidou (narrator: they did, in fact, fell under his spell). “give me your number!” uhh? “move in with me!” wow it’s not your sae, huh? it’s everyone’s sae.

© 2022 katsutora ; do not repost and/or translate and/or claim my works

[ceasarslegion]

How to deal with door to door salesmen at your door without being a dick about it, from an ex-door to door salesman

No one likes the Telus guy who comes to your door on your day off and tries to sell you a new cable package. We knew damn well that every door we approached was a lions' den of people who wanted to kick the shit out of us out of frustration before we even opened our mouths. Door to door sales is as unforgiving and ruthless and difficult as it is well-paying, assuming you're charismatic and quick-witted enough to do it. It was simultaneously the best-paying and shittiest job I've ever done, so I had the idea to make this little guide on how to make their shitty days a little less shitty if you find one at your doorstep trying to sell you something that you aren't buying.

1. Answer the door. We can see your car in the driveway, we're trained to notice things like curtains moving and you trying to peek through them to see if we're gone yet. And we have to keep coming back if you don't answer it or we'll get in shit from our managers who watched us like hawks. If you don't want us coming back, and we don't actually want to come back to anyone that clearly doesn't want to associate with us, it's better for everyone if you just answer it the first time.

2. Be polite. It sounds like basic etiquette, but you have no idea how awful people behave towards us all day every day. I've been threatened with kitchen knives and rakes. I had to approach every door in my assigned territory regardless of how many red flags they set off in my head, and they all go about as well as you'd expect. They don't give a shit about your safety or comfort in that working world, and you will be considered weak-willed and cowardly if you refuse a door on the grounds of "safety concerns." So please, please, PLEASE, be nice and welcoming to them. You'll probably be the only one who will in weeks.

3. If you want to go the extra mile, don't invite them in for coffee. Take it outside to your porch instead. It's a big no-no to cross the threshold of a client's house, in fact it's grounds for immediate termination. But there aren't any rules about sitting where they already are instead. Odds are they've been walking all day despite the weather, getting doors slammed in their faces and an angry manager screaming through their phone about how they aren't selling enough because it's never enough for them. They might not have had a day off in weeks. I know I would've cried if someone was nice enough to offer me a break under the guise of a long customer interaction.

4. Let them finish their pitch. It sounds counter-productive, but there's this thing in the door to door sales world known as the "law of averages." The idea is that if you knock on around 50 doors, youll get around 10-15 full pitches in and secure 2-5 buyers. It's a bunch of bullshit. It's entirely dependent on luck and the socio-economic demographic of your assigned territory that day because human beings can not be distilled into simplified math equations. It's also often used to shuck blame onto the salespeople if they dont sell enough. We'd be out until 8 or 9pm every day trying to meet that funnel just so we wouldn't have to hear that it was our fault if we couldn't pay our rent that month. By letting them finish their pitch, even if you don't buy anything, you're letting them tick off one more full pitch in their numbers. It's not much, but it relieves some of the stress.

5. Tell them no clearly, but gently. You'll have to tell them no multiple times, because we're actually told not to leave on the first one. There's usually a "3 no's, go" rule we have to follow, and we're even told not to see something that's not a clear "no" as a no at all. Which means that if you say something like "i'll have to think about it" we can't leave, even though every social cue on god's green earth tells us that's another way of telling someone no. Be polite, be nice, but be clear that you don't want what they're selling, any deals or discounts they can throw in won't sway you, and you don't want to waste their time.

6. If you have a "no soliciting" sign on your door, we're only told to listen to it if it looks custom-made. Yeah, seriously. A little old carbon-copy "no soliciting" sticker will go ignored, because we're told to act like we didnt notice it and then try to pitch anyway. If you want one that actually works, opt for one that's specially-made or very big and impossible to miss. And no, we don't like that rule any more than you do, because it makes us feel like scumbags and it makes the other person even angrier when we have to intentionally ignore their "go away" sign or risk losing our jobs.