#i just worry that if the thing i cone back with is. this. then ill send the wring message

[death-limes]

maybe if i start drawing and posting an egregious amount of selfshipping art with myself and alastor hazbin i can create a sort of separate version of him that is distinctly removed from hazbin hotel in the consciousness of those who follow me….. that way i can feel ok simping for him without having to include constant disclaimers that Yeah Yeah I Know I Dont Like Hazbin But This One Blorbo Snagged Me And Im Down Bad, Fuckin Sue Me

[spyder-junkie]

EARTH 42 MILES MORALES X READER Part 3

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

this one was short because we’re bringing mama Rio in the next part

The next thing you notice about miles is he is NOTT a good texter.

nonetheless, you work with him, trying your best to pick a day where your schedules to meet up.

“Dont worry about it, mami. Just be cute when I get there.” Miles’ voice rings out through the phone as you look for an outfit. You can hear the clicking of his game controller through the phone.

Its 12:00pm right now, Miles was coming to you meet you at 1:30

“Mkay.” You mumbled, putting different shirts up to your chest in the mirror.

“Ill see you when you get here.” You say, looking at the phone.

“nos vemos pronto, hermosa.” He says, hanging up the phone.

you take extra care while getting ready. You were not quite sure if this was a date, but spending the day with Miles still had your stomach in a twist.

You close the clasp on your necklace just as your phone dings with a text from miles.

You grab your bag, jogging through your apartment to the front door.

Miles bares a little smile when your eyes meet his.

“You look nice, ma” He says, stepping aside so you can lock the door behind yourself.

“Youre not too bad yourself.” You smile,

Miles leads you away from your apartment building and down the block. Its mildly warm outside, and the sun is out.

As you walk to begin to notice Miles’ hand continuously brushing yours. Then slowly his fingers crawl into your palm until your hands are clasped together.

You look over at miles, who is exaggeratedly looking at the sky and pretending to whistle with a goofy smile.

You giggle, holding his hand tightly.

You didnt even know Miles had a sense of humor.

“You feelin’ icecream?” He asks suddenly, pointing to an icecream spot on the strip.

“Always.” You reply, letting him lead you inside.

The place is cute, summer beach themed, and empty momentarily.

Miles smirks down at you as you browse all the flavors in the display case.

“What are you gonna get?” You ask, not looking away from the glass.

“Vanilla.” Miles’ answer is quick.

“What? Thats so borninggg.” You say.

“I havent really gotten into crazy flavors.” He shrugs.

You shake your head.

“Pick a flavor for me then.”

You look back at him, then at the case again.

You choose brownie for yourself, and cookies and cream for Miles.

And as soon as the woman behind the counter hands you the cones, Miles is at the counter, paying for the both of you before you can protest.

The two of you find a bench down the block to sit at afterwards, enjoying your ice creams peacefully.

“You like it?” You ask, gesturing to his icecream.

“Mhm, its real sweet.” He says

“Wanna try?” He extends his cone towards you.

You shyly take a lick from his ice cream, savoring the flavor thoughtfully.

“Its good.” You smile.

“Wanna try mine?” Miles doesn’t think too hard about it, pulling in a bit of yours with his lips.

His face scrunchs up for a moment.

“Yours is MAD sweet.” He says.

“You dont like sweet things?” You ask, turning to face him on the bench.

“I like you.” He says suddenly.

“But nah, im not huge on sweets.” He goes back to eating his ice cream

The two of you go to a park afterwards, spending the day outside.

Youre still there just as the sun begins to set.

“Its gonna be dark soon.” You say, staring up at the sky with your head in Miles’s lap. He was seated upright on the grass, you laid against him.

“Imma walk you home, ma.” Miles says, looking down at you, while you watch the sky.

“Gonna make sure there arent any more men following me?” You joke.

“That shit wont happen again, not while Ive got you.”

And he means it.

He keeps his hand in yours on the walk home, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

When the two of you reach your door, hes giving you a pretty smile.

“Be careful, okay?” Miles’ eyes widen as you press a small kiss to his cheek.

“Im always careful.” He says, pressing his hand to his cheek

you give him a flat stare.

“Aight aight, not always. Mi mal, hermosa.”

You shake your head, wishing him goodbye with a warm smile.

tags: @kezibear @urmotherswhor3 @ladylovegood-69 @thetoetickler @cumbermovels @cozmicwonder @yams-ley @sh-tposter2021 @vampjacinda @roadkillmeal @animechick555 @the-smut-plug @iluvdi0r @stevenknightmarc @yoashh @kitsunna @caffeine-mess @arachnenotes @erensbbg @nightshxdex @el-chiste @3alvatore @sh-tposter2021 @miatjie @agstuffsworld @ella34435 @iluvdi0r @pulling-out-my-eyes @vakiui @bigpepperpicker @swaggybae @tsukisaiki @osebb

[skyartworkzzz]

@auravs YO IDK WTF IS UP WITH TUMBLR BUT IT SOMEHOW DELETED UR ASK SO IM PINGING U TO ANSWER,,,

Heres my replies Ive tried more than 3456789 times sending, hope it didnt spam or smtng and the site was actually trolling me 😭:

OKAY SHIT FIRST OFF THANK U SO MUCH!! Rlly appreciate ur support,,! 😭💜

NOW, My Personal guide for begginer artists:

1. Try to copy arts u find online or even from medias u enjoy! (comics, cartoons and etc)

On each drawing u copy u will notice u have learned smtng new! So from there, try to draw an image by urself without any reference, and once u have an idea of how the artstyle u want works Personally, Id copy many anime images with similar art styles to then try and make pieces of my own!

NOW ITS IMPORTANT TO NOTE: it is not wrong to redraw images for PERSONAL and LEARNING purposes. What Would be wrong of u is to post it around claiming that You were the original creator of the image and not crediting the original one/the artist responsible for it

So as long as u aint stealing anyone's work, ure fine!

2. Use guidelines and shapes when drawing!

They are very important when beggining to understand anatomy! Ofc u dont have to draw All the lines detailed-ish, but at least to an extent in which u can see what is going on

So les say for example u want to draw a human body: u will have to understand that the top of the head is a circle, that the neck has a cone-ish shape, that the chest follows the form of a ribcage and so on It may vary from artist to artist, but if ure struggling to draw smtng specific, try seeing a shape on it to then make ur job easier! The body has to become a literal puzzle to ur eyes

However, I will advise u to plz not let these limit u. Indeed, as a begginer u have to learn how normal anatomy works, but its totally fine to change that depending on what artstyle u choose!

3. CONSISTENCY IS A SCAM!!!!

DO NOT WORRY IF UR ART DOESNT LOOK AS RECOGNIZABLE ON EVERY PIECE, I myself have only learned this recently and seen many other artists getting unmotivated cuz of this, but consistency truly does not exist. Whatever u do with ur art is nothing but ur RANGE. Its all the knowledge u have on it which makes u produce many pieces in different styles, and that is awesome!!

As an artist, u will always be learning smtng new, and what u learn cannot be un….learned (if that word exists IUSDNJKADLS) so its bound to show in ur work

4. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACT-

NEVER STOP DRAWING!!!! Like Ive said beforehand, u are ALWAYS learning smtng new!! Everything u draw is progress!

So no matter how bad u may think the things u do look, just remember that theyre likely looking MUCH better than the thing u drew yesterday

Art takes time to reach a level in which u feel comfortable and proud with how u do it, so its important to be patient and keep on practicing if u rlly want to get better at it!

Since u are a begginer, and if u have the time/motivation, Id suggest doing a doodle here and there to start picking up the habit to draw often. It is much easier to learn and less tedious once ure used to it and, ofc, enjoying it!

HOPE THESE ARE HELPFUL,,,, once again, they are based on my own experience thus far and some things I wish I knew back there………

AS FOR THE AU: ILL ANSWER THAT IN MY NEXT POST CUZ TUMBLR IS BEING A BITCH, amma ping u for my response if u dont mind so heads up,,,

[froggy-1988]

Personal update

I am currently going through the official process of diagnosing autism- I score high on the test done so far so... (I'm undergoing a lot of medical treatment at the moment that I find difficult due to sensory stuff and if I actually get the diagnosis then I'll get more help with accessing the medical treatment I need).

In a few days I'll hopefully find out if my tumor that's making me so ill is cancer or not and get a treatment plan through.

I'm kinda really anxious right now, my local police force - like the actual police offices I have to deal with if I have a problem - are causing issues. A few nights ago the parents of an autistic girl (underage) called the police asking help finding her, she was out at night, had been drinking and was vulnerable.

The police found her and took her home - but once in her home the girl turned around to one of the officers and said "you look like my lesbian nana" --- this resulted in them trying to arrest her - seven police officers surrounded her and dragged her out the house despite her having a problem with her spine and when her parent shouted "she's autistic - she loves her nana" the insulted officer just shouted back "I don't care". The girl was obviously having a meltdown and was hurting herself. The police kept her locked up for twenty hours without access to family or psychiatrist. They tried to say they were arresting her for a homophobic slur - it didn't work, just the word lesbian said without a negative connotation doesn't count as a slur. Then they tried to arrest her on a public disorder offense - except they couldn't because she was in her own home at the time of arrest so not in public - they let her go. Releasing a statement that pretty much said yes there's a video on social media but don't believe it we've got videos too (it was a long video quite a lot of the situation was obvious from it) - then they said our offices have the right to go about our business without facing insults.... Then when it was obvious that wasn't going down well they removed everything and blocked all social media contact.

Basically it's a bit of an anxious time to be going through an autism diagnosis- and with the pain from my tumor I am having the occasional meltdown - Iwas good at avoiding them and masking but things are more hard at the moment. I really feel for that girl and everyone whose been through similar. I worry for myself and for my son whose also going through the process.

Police really need training on what autism is - what a meltdown is - and how to de- escalate a situation rather than just pushing through aggressively - and to question their own self righteous beliefs - I mean cone on guys, telling somebody they look like the lesbian granny you love is probably not and insult - especially if it's coming from an autistic child who probably can't read a situation as well as some might.

[letterstoponyo]

08/20/23

dear ponyo,

hi baby. i’m currently waiting for dad outside of watsons, he’s getting syringes for bambi and milo because we’ve lost every other 1ml syringe we had. milo is still very resistant of the medication, dad and i are like a swat team whenever milo has to drink it again. good thing they don’t make you drink nasty-tasting antibiotics there, do they?

dad and i went grocery shopping, our food and your sisters’ are running out. we bought A LOT of food. we also bought clothes for bambi and milo so they wouldn’t be able to lick their wounds since that makes the infection worse. i’ll show you photos when we get them to wear it.

08/21/23

hi baby, i’m sorry i wasn’t able to finish writing yesterday. dad and i got home and had to reorganize the fridge and take care of bambi and milo. milo’s incision is fully healed and we don’t worry about her as much now. bambi still has a long way to go but dad and i are patient and will be until she fully recovers.

you arrived back home today, baby. your dad cried again because it made him realize how permanent your absence really is. they did a nice job with you while you were there. your ashes were in a bamboo urn and your paw prints were spot on. we also got a bit of your hair and all your teefs. they were so cute. but of course they were cuter when you still had them on :)

dad still isn’t okay, neither am i but he’s taking this far badly than i am. his fever is recurring and tomorrow we’re gonna be at the doctor’s to have him checked. pray with me that it isn’t anything serious ok? my semester starts soon so i want dad to get well as soon as possible because i can’t leave for elbi knowing he hasn’t recuperated yet. please watch over your dad, always. i wouldn’t always be able to look after him when the sem starts. you see him all the time so let him know you love him as often as you can ok? your love and mine grant him immunity from all diseases and illnesses, so let’s keep them coming.

i made dad lemonade tonight. and made him eat some oranges to help with his recovery. oranges have a lot of nutrients in them so if you get the chance to have some, don’t hesitate to eat some too ok? don’t just always eat junk food. i gave dad a sponge bath too which brought down his temperature lower by .5 degree. i hope his fever goes away for good now, i’m super worried about him.

i’m gonna stop writing here, i need to give your sisters antibiotics. they’re on cefalexin for 3 more days after today. we just bought another bottle when we went to the drugstore earlier tonight. bambi still wears a cone.

i’ll attach a photo of your setup here. :) and a photo of bambi eating a lot after i took off her cone of shame.

love always,

mom and dad

[kdipshit]

Money ;

I show up for myself every single day, I wake up and the first thing I do is try to better myself, I wake up and im grateful, I wake up and im happy I’m alive. I wake up confused as hell as well though don’t get me messed up, I’m running out of weed and I haven’t been to work in a month. Its getting a tad out of hand, just like my situation, lol, seems to be out of my hands, do I need to pull up to my job and confront the entire establishment or do I keep being patient…. Its like they get annoyed when I ask about my hours… like ma’am? Anyways, saying optimistic and using my time wisely, how ever I would love some fkn cash right now, don’t we all? It fucking sucks without money doesn’t it?

Yes… yes it does, but ultimately I’m the one who out myself in this position…. Right? I couldn’t keep up with juggling work and mental health at once, it became too much, it became unbearable, but on the days I could handle it all, I was the fucking man. I hit my numbers, go above and beyond, coz once I’m focused, its pretty easy to get into the flow of it. I have so many new techniques to use once I go back to work, and I shouldn’t be worried weather or not they’re even going to roster me at all, but I am. I am worried, and I’m a little upset I couldn’t stick it thru on my last rostered day. But I chose myself, that day, even though the better choice would have been to put my head in the game and just finish the day, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I was fine physically, but my mind was racing and I might have gotten violent if I didn’t watch myself, so I got in an uber and left.

Since then, I have not wasted a day. I don’t think, and I have blossomed into something I am extremely proud of, because Instead of showing up to work, I showed up for myself, which has made it easier to show up for the rest of life. I am ready and willing to do the mahi, I’m no better than anybody else. I work to sustain my life, independently.

Tbh if you ask for my snapchat thats so gross. Y’all I used to pop my pussy on snap for HELLA bands…. I aint tripping on snap, but the tiktokers took over. I would never make a personal snap EVER again its like my snapchat when I was younger was just me getting super fucked up like every single day and looking super cute doing fkn lip syncs and getting hundreds-thousands of views I was DEFINITELY a snapchat bitch, but that me was so young, like mind set wise, its childish idk. Ill use it to make money tho lmao, the hustle stays. I really don’t want to prepare myself to start dancing again but shit I will if I have to. Stripping can be VERY fun, but i think the alcohol might win in that fight scenario.

The writing really slows me down, and I’m here for it, it helps me so much, with every single letter, every word, every sentence bring me closer and closer to unravelling our mind. Its like a spell I cast, only I have the password, hidden amongst my writings, flooded within hundreds of thousands of words, because I know how much I like a challenge.

Any substance that I use, I abuse, its like do I really need that fkn much to sedate myself? Like shit bitch… why so damn much, I didn’t even know addiction didnt have to be a choice. Its like every 2nd heart beat is for the substance. Or for the feeling it gives me, or for the feeling it takes away, who knows, I just know that I THINK I need it, look at the consequences, its gonna have to effect me physically, and I’m going to have to get through that, without the substance to save me. Only myself, as I am fully capable. Okay I’m going to save my last cone for life threatening emergencies only. Day 4, starting tomorrow, 28th March. Substance deficit. I’m using my medication for the wrong reasons, I’m abusing them, and I know that, so, this is my moment of change. most important thing to remember is to show up for yourself. Be honest with yourself. Sit with yourself, write it all out.

Am I TMI for the internet? Lmao idk, I barely fucking read. Im the type of person who hears someone fart and looks around seeing if I catch anyones eye, but my question is why I even heard the fart in the first place, in this massive room full of distractions, I get so fixated and kind of zone out on the background noise, sometimes its all I can hear, I’m done so much embarrassing shit when I’m focused on something I don’t mean to be focused on, like other peoples conversations or other people movements… I focus too much on other peoples movements. To make sure no one comes into my space, and if they do, that Im ready for it, but its gotten me to trip up ALOT . I wonder why I do this?

[queers-gambit]

Bobby Flay or Billy Flayed?

prompt: ( requested ) the Mind Flayer's claimed Billy - and his relationship with his 'perfect girl'. after seemingly being replaced by Heather Holloway, Billy's girl learns the harrowing truth the hard way.

pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

word count: 7.5k

warnings: slight AU ending, cursing, depictions of illness, mind control, violence. small angst, small comfort. Billy Boy lives. ❗️ season three spoilers

"Baby? Hey, Billy! What the hell?" I asked in confusion when Billy rushed past me; bare feet slapping over the pool's concrete as he didn't hear me and pushed on for his destination. The hot summer day had attracted the usual busy crowd, hollers and yelling echoing around us and possibly drowning my voice.

"Sissy?" My little sister worried, looking up at me with her can of Coke held in both hands and her sweet eyes blown wide in worry. "Where's B going?"

I sighed as I glanced down at her while gently caressing the back of her head, "He's working, bug, takes a lot to keep the pool all nice and clean for us. He's a very busy bee, you know?"

"Oh, okay," she nodded. "Can I have a snow-cone?"

"You've got a Coke, baby, drink that," I chuckled. "It's enough sugar."

"Sissy," she whined with a pout. "It's summer! No such thing as too much sugar!"

"Hey, okay," I sighed, glancing around and spying my friend, Jessica, a few feet away. "Hey, Jess?"

"Hey," she greeted with a smile, standing with her little brother. "Hi, Danielle."

"It's Danny," she insisted, Jessica shooting me a knowing smile.

I chuckled, "Yeah, we're goin' by Danny now," I winked. Jess nodded.

"How're you, Danny? I totally dig the suit, it's really colorful," Jess smiled, always so sweet with younger kids.

"Mommy said I looked like a rainbow," Danielle beamed with a nearly blinding smile. "Hi, Derek!"

"Hi, Danny!"

"Can you do me a favor?" I begged quietly to Jessica. "If I give you guys some money, can you take Danny to the snack bar for one of those ice-in-a-cup things?"

"Sure, no problem," Jess agreed, eyeing me with slight suspicion, "but are you okay?"

"Yeah, just gotta go talk to Billy really quick."

She nodded, "No problem. Tell pretty boy I say hi," she chuckled.

"You're a peach," I whispered, handing over a crispy $10. "Hey, Dan," I lowered to a squat in front of my sister and took the can of Coke from her hold, "if you can behave, Jessica's gonna take you and Derek over to the snack bar for a snow-cone, okay? And maybe if you're really good, she'll let you get blue raspberry? Hmm? How's that sound?"

Danielle pondered for a moment before nodding, "Deal."

"Thought so," I smirked, standing upright. "Thanks again," I nodded to my childhood friend.

"No worries," she smiled. "But can I get a cone on your dime, too?" she pouted lightly.

"I'd be offended if you didn't," I assured. "Hey, uh, do me a favor and grab me a cherry?"

"No problem," Jess agreed. "C'mon, munchkins, before the line gets too long."

"I'm gonna get the lemonade flavor!" Derek, Jess' little brother, proclaimed to Danny with a triumphant grin.

"I'm gonna get blue raspberry," My sister gloated.

"Well, I'm getting grape," Jess tacked on as she directed the little ones away.

I sighed and fiddled with my fingers nervously before glancing around for any other lifeguards and moving towards the chemical storage gate. It was left open, the hall leading down to the pool's maintenance facility empty and making me call, "Billy?"

I tiptoed through the gate, my flip-flops then clacking as I looked around the gated storage room with more confident steps. I gulped my fear and tugged at the hem of my semi-sheer swim cover-up, ducking my head around another open door.

Inside, I found Billy, but he faced away to another storage unit. "Billy? Baby, hey," I cautiously stepped into the room with him, noting the way sweat shot down his arms and hair clung to his neck. "Baby, look, I know you're angry at me, but let me explain, please. I'm sorry I didn't show up last night," I heard him sniffle sharply but didn't turn to me, "I should've called, I know that. But my Mom ended up with an emergency surgery coming in, and I didn't know, and I had to watch Danny and her Girl Scout troop, but I should've called."

I heard his breathing change and felt something in the air shift.

"Hey, B," I spoke gently, brows furrowing as I stepped closer to his damp body. "Baby, will you say something, please? Just talk to me." I felt my eyes widen when Billy finally turned, showing me his flushed skin and sweat-covered face, curls sticking to his cheeks and neck. "Oh, my God, Billy," I worried, hands raising to hover over his arms in fear of touching his sweat-riddled skin, "holy shit, do you have a fever? Are you feeling all right?"

His eyes darted between mine, opening his mouth and then pausing. "Y-You didn't call. You didn't show."

"I know," I breathed in confusion.

"No, it's good," he nodded, "because you have to stay away from me."

"Stay away from you?" I repeated unsurely. "Baby, what the hell, I know I missed date night, but please, don't push me away - "

"Understand that I'm only looking out for you," Billy seethed. "You need to stay away from me. I don't want to hurt you."

"Baby, what the hell are you talking about?" I shook my head.

"Just stay away, princess, it has to be this way," he spoke with a fierce determination. "Got it? Stay. Away from me."

"No, you're obviously not okay or making sense, wait, hey - Billy!" I called when he surged past me, his shoulder bullying into mine enough to turn me with the force of his body. But worry evolved from pea-size to cantelope-size when he stumbled enough to catch himself on the doorframe before exiting the storage room. Curiosity got the best of me and I reached for the bottle Billy had been examining, finding standard pool chemicals, and turning to follow my boyfriend outside.

He wasn't seen immediately due to the crowded pool yard, but once on my toes for a few moments, his stumbling form caught my sight and I darted towards him. "Excuse me, sorry," I muttered to a few patrons, reaching for Billy's elbow and almost jerking away when his skin damn-near burned me. "B, slow down," I worried, tightening my hold when he wobbled.

"Got a shift," he sniffled.

"No, you need to go in the air conditioning and cool off," I worried.

"J-Just gotta get to the chair," he muttered, letting me pull his arm around my shoulders.

"Billy," I shook my head.

"'T the chair, princess, the chair," he almost wheezed, eyes squinting in the sunlight as sweat was pouring off of him at an alarming rate. "I'm okay," he mumbled.

"You're not," I sighed. "Still stubborn as hell, though."

"You gotta stay away from me, sweet girl," Billy sounded almost wounded. "Just trust me."

"If you're sick, you need to get outta the sun," I pointed out. "Can you trust me on that one?"

"Got a shift," he repeated.

"Billy, fuck this job," I rolled my eyes.

"Get me in the chair, sweetheart," he pleaded. I sighed and helped him get closer to the lifeguard chair, watching as he shakily climbed it before collapsing to the seat.

"Will you please be smart about this?" I still tried, watching as confusion seemed to ink his mind. "Let's just go inside, B, please. I'm sure there's someone else to come out for your shift."

"Sissy!"

"'S that Danny?" Billy mumbled, a finger rubbing at his ear as if to relieve the ringing sensation.

I sighed and looked back at my sister waving me down from our chairs. "B, I'll be right back, okay?" I looked up at him. "Please just consider going inside."

He nodded mutely and I sighed again before patting his knee and pulling away from the chair. I walked back over to my sister, Jess, and Derek; taking the seat beside Danny and pulling a towel closer.

"Did you dip back in the pool when I wasn't looking?" I teased lightly.

"Uh-huh," she nodded, happily scooping the blue ice to her mouth.

"Here," Jessica sighed, handing over my cherry cup. "Is Billy okay? He looks pretty sick," she nodded towards my boyfriend in his lifeguard chair.

"I don't know," I admitted. "He's not feeling well, that's pretty clear."

"He looks like shit," she nodded, scooping some of her icy treat to her mouth. "Oh, before I forget, your change," she handed the few bills over. I nodded in thanks and set the money aside with my cup, wrapping Danny in her towel before enjoying a moment with my sister and our friends.

When the snow-cones were done and gone, I was reapplying Danny's sunscreen when Jess jerked her body around to slap my thigh. "Ow," I pinned her with a glare but she continued to tap my leg vigorously without looking at me. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

"Billy," she pointed, my head snapping up to see Billy passed out and slumped back in the chair.

"God damn it," I cursed, wiping my hands on Danny's towel. "I'll be right back."

"Sissy!"

Jessica reached forward to trap Danny in her arms as I ignored protocol and ran for the guard chair. "Billy," I worried, shaking his knee. "Billy, hey, wake up," I lifted myself onto the lower rung and shook his shoulders, cupping his cheeks. "Billy, I swear to God, I'm calling 911 if you don't wake up in the next 30 seconds."

His eyes rolled behind his lids before suddenly, he jerked awake. With a gasp, Billy sat up and his panicked eyes met mine. "B-Baby," he stuttered, wobbling forward into my chest. I balanced on the rung to keep hold of him, his breath coming out in short grunts as I tried to ease him back while keeping my hands on both of his cheeks. "Baby, please," he mumbled in confusion, my heart aching due to the obvious pain and delirium he was suffering from.

"Okay, c'mon, we're going inside - right now," I shook my head, looking down to step off the chair when my sight caught his elbow. "Billy, holy shit! Your arm's burnt!" I pointed out to him, watching as he retracted the appendage under the shade of the guard umbrella to look at the injury.

"Shit," he muttered, sniffling hotly after.

"Get down, now," I snapped. "C'mon, right fucking now, get down," I helped him climb down, his knees wobbling and needing to catch himself on my shoulders. "Jesus Christ," I worried, wrapping my arm around his waist as his kept an iron grip around my shoulders, "you're burning up, B, why did you just bake in the sun?"

He mumbled something, stumbling along as his deadweight was overpowering to my strength but I made do. But when Billy's weight lurched, so did I; and his shoulder bullied into a kid's, causing their cooler to drop and overturn.

"Hey, man!"

"Sorry, sorry, so sorry," I apologized to the family, trying to keep hold of an off-balanced Billy. "He's sick, really sick, so sorry."

"Billy, are you okay?" Heather asked, having witnessed the collision.

"I got him, he's okay," I panted to our classmate, directing Billy towards the locker rooms. "You're okay, B, I got'cha," I muttered. "Excuse us, sorry, sorry, excuse us, coming through, my bad, move, sorry, excuse us," I directed to the people around us, Billy's arm coming up to slam into the locker room door and shove it open.

"S-Showers," he panted, me nodding in agreement as we moved towards the shower stalls. Billy's arm ripped the curtain open as I got him inside and turned the knob to freezing cold.

"All right," I panted, keeping him upright as the ice cold water sprayed over he and I, but mostly him. "You're okay," I assured, his arm slowly wrapping around my waist to pull me into his trembling chest. My arms wrapped around him tightly to help stabilize him, muttering reassuring nothings to him as I pet a hand through his drenched hair; unaware of his eyes staring down at the burn to his left arm.

Inky darkness spread through his veins, assuring him something darker - more sinister - was at work. I heard him sniffling before tightening his arms behind me; unable to see how he wasn't able to pull away and let his fingers press to the wound - but a bolt of pure pain seized his heart before shooting through his veins.

Billy rocketed back into the shower wall, screaming bloody murder over the sounds of the pouring water and my own worries. "Baby! Please! What's hurting?" I panicked. "Oh, my God," I gasped when his hands slapped over his ears, back sliding to the floor, mouth agape to release a gut-wrenching scream.

"Sissy!?"

"Stay out there, Danny!" I shouted over my shoulder, on my knees as I tried to pull Billy into my embrace. He turned into the walls, pain seeping into his every sound as he wailed from an unheard force.

"Sissy!"

I whined, tears springing to my eyes as Billy sobbed and leaned into my chest. I pressed my hands over his, still clamped over his ears, and called again, "Stay put, Danielle! I'm not kidding!"

"Is Billy okay!?"

I shook my head, "He's okay, bug, stay out there!"

It was quiet and I turned back to Billy, gently prying his head up as he looked vividly confused. "Y-You have to get outta here," he panted, slowly lowering our hands to turn them over and nearly break my fingers in his grasp. "You gotta go, baby, you can't be here."

"I'm not leaving you like this," I refused.

"I-I'm okay now," he sputtered through the stream of water. "I'm okay, I-I'm just gonna s-sit in the cold water."

"Billy," I shook my head.

"G-Go check on Danny," he nodded, sniffling. "But don't come back, okay? Y-You've gotta stay away from me. I-It's over between us, okay? You gotta stay away - don't come around me, please, just stay away. T-This isn't - this isn't working. You have to go."

"Billy, you're not making sense!"

"Just go," he begged. "Get outta here, sugar, please. I can't hurt you - not you. You've gotta go."

"You're not going to hurt me, B," I shook my head. "You need help - "

"No, you've gotta go," he insisted. "Get away from me, stay away from me, you get it? Go, just get away."

"Sissy!"

I sighed and called again, "Hang on, bug!" Looking back at Billy, I shook my head, "Baby, please. You're hurt and obviously sick - "

"I'm gonna sit in the cold water, baby, go. Just go, please, and stay away. I can't hurt you."

"Billy - "

"Sissy!"

"Christ!" I snapped, glaring back at Billy. "You stay right fucking here, I will be back."

His eyes rolled, "Stubborn ass."

"Could say the same about you, sweetheart," I sighed, letting my hand caress his cheek. "I don't know what's up with you, but you're not alone."

"I am," he panted, "'cause it's over, we're done. You've gotta go."

"Billy - "

"I'm not fucking fighting you about this!" He roared, making me flinch back. "Get out! Get gone! It's done - we're done - just get out and leave me alone!"

I couldn't stop the sting of unshed tears, sighing and standing. I couldn't utter another word as I quickly fixed my hair after the shower's stream ruined it and shed my soaking wet cover-up. Outside, Danny was waiting right at the door and gasped when I appeared.

"What's up, bug?" I muttered.

"Jess and Derek have to leave," she informed me. "And Daddy says I'm not allowed to be alone."

I sighed and nodded, catching sight of Heather approaching us. "Hang on, bug," I muttered, pulling her into my legs as Heather smiled.

"Hey, uh, is Billy okay?" she asked. "I saw him earlier, looked really rough."

"He's not feeling too great," I nodded. "He's in the showers, um... D-Do you mind checking on him?"

"Sure," she agreed easily, patting my shoulder lightly as she passed me by. I sighed and watched her enter the locker room before turning to my little sister.

"All right, bug, let's get you in some floaties, huh? One last swim before we'll head home, too?"

"Okay," she beamed. "But where's Billy?"

"Oh, he's in the showers," I shrugged. "He's feeling a little sick."

"That's not good, he should have ginger ale," my little sister frowned; hand tight in mine as we moved for the chairs again. Jessica was packed up with her brother; us all saying goodbyes in parting before she was ushering her brother along and I was fitting Danny into her floaties.

Once in the kiddie pool and under the gaze of another guard, I told her I'd be right back to check on Billy. She nodded in agreement and doggie-paddled away from me, letting me turn and tie a towel around my under arms and step back into the locker rooms.

Only when I got there, I came to a skidding halt as the stall I left Billy in was vacant and the water still running. Sighing, I pulled my towel off to toss on a ring, reaching in to shut off the freezing cold water and pull back. "Billy?" I called, looking around the entire locker room. "Heather? Hey, anyone? Billy, baby, where are you? Hey? Hello?"

After concluding they were gone, I shook my head with a sigh and turned to exit. I went back to where Danny was paddling around and 15 minutes later, adult swim was whistled in and my sister was climbing out. After drying her off and taking her into the locker room to change into her shorts and tee shirt, we were heading out.

"Where's Billy?" she wondered, looking around for his car in the parking lot.

"Probably went home, pup," I nodded. "He was sick, remember?"

I tried not to feel bitter over how it was possible Heather drove him home in his car but figured I'd see him later to work everything out.

So lead a conversation between the two young teenage girls, Max needing to explain to Eleven how when Billy was "alone with his girlfriend, they make, like, really crazy noises." And when El was asking if his girlfriend usually screamed, Max was quick to explain they were "happy screams".

After El still didn't understand, Max figured it was something Cosmo could better explain. Thing is, Eleven knew who Billy's girlfriend was after Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, and Dustin Henderson found El in the woods and snuck into her basement for refuge.

She was nice, El remembered. But she had distinct features and the girl El saw with Billy last night, screaming, wasn't her old friend. When she told Max this, the redhead didn't want to believe Billy was with anyone else, making "happy screams".

However, after the girls found the bloodied belongings of a lifeguard under the bathroom sink, it became apparent maybe consulting the girl Billy was dating was important.

The moment Eleven found Heather in her mind and borderline had a panic attack, they knew they had to see her.

That brought them to a cute yellow house in the suburb with flowerbeds decorating the walkway to the front door. The girls were drenched from biking everywhere in the torrential downpour, knocking at the door Max had come to be familiar with.

"Oh, shit," I answered, finding Max and Eleven on my front porch, "what're you doing out here, it's pouring. Come in, come in," I ushered them inward, frowning when they trembled from the cold. "Hang tight, girls, I'll grab you some towels."

Max cleared her throat, "Is your, uh, Mom home?"

"No, she's at work tonight," I assured, pausing at the linen closet on the first floor bathroom to grab them their towels. "Here," I sighed, handing them over when I returned. "The hell were you two doing out there in this weather?"

"Looking for Billy," Max answered, shedding her yellow rain jacket.

"Well, you and me both," I scoffed, crossing my arms. "I went by your house last night but nobody was there."

"Billy wasn't?" Eleven asked.

"Nope," I sighed. "Where were you, little lady?" I smiled at Max.

"We had a sleep over," Max answered, gesturing between herself and El.

"Cute," I beamed. "But sadly, ladies, I can't help. I have no idea where Billy is, I saw him yesterday at the pool and he wasn't doing well."

"What do you mean?" El asked quietly.

"He was really sick," I shrugged. "Looked shaky, he was burning up, sweating profusely."

"'Profusely'?" Eleven questioned.

"Oh, um, like a lot," I explained to her. "Look, I left him in the showers and when I got back, he was gone. So, if you find that jackass before me, tell him I'm pissed."

"But did you leave him with anyone?" Max asked. "Did you see him with anyone else?"

"Um, well, I actually asked Heather to check on him. She was gone, too, when I went back." The girls shared an uneasy look, my brows crinkling in confusion. "What's up, what's with the look?"

"It's just," Max breathed unsteadily, "w-we're afraid Billy might've... Hurt Heather."

"'Hurt Heather'?" I repeated before chuckling. "Guys, I know Billy's a scary guy but he's not like he once was, okay? He's not going to just attack Heather."

"There was blood," El spoke. "And she-she asked me to help her."

"Heather asked you to help?" I asked, watching her nod. "When did you see her?"

"In her mind," Max waved off.

I nodded slowly, "So... What now? Should we go check on Heather?"

"She didn't show up for her shift," Max nodded. "We were thinking of going to check things out."

I nodded, "I get that, okay. Sure. Um, wanna put your bike in the garage and I can drive us?"

"No, we couldn't - "

I cut Eleven off, "I want to. 'Cause now I'm curious as to what the fuck's going on with my man."

"Might not like what you find," Max warned.

"Don't worry about that," I sighed, stuffing my feet into a pair of rain boots before tugging on a jacket as the girls followed suit. I hung the towels on a pair of coat hooks before snatching up my car keys and ushering them through the side garage door.

After bringing in Max' bike, I got them in my car and out into the rain to head for Heather's house. Eleven reminded me of the house number and when we pulled up out front, the lights on the pretty home were lit up.

"Is this it?" Max double checked, me looking in the rearview mirror to see El nodding.

"Let's go, girls," I sighed, turning the car off and opening my door. They followed suit, and before I could knock, El held her hand to me and shook her head. "Um, what?" I asked, watching as she braced herself and as a dribble of blood leaked from her nostril, the front door was opening without aid. "Girls, no," I worried when they moved into the house, "this is technically breaking and entering, I think!"

When I finally followed them, light dinner music played in the background. I heard Max confirm it was Heather's house as they stared at the family portrait, the sounds of a family heard from another room.

I sighed when the two girls moved for the sounds, feeling uneasy as I followed them from a few steps. However, bile rose in my throat when I heard Billy greet, "Max." When I stepped out from behind the wall and let my hands smooth across either girl's shoulder, Billy's smirk dropped as he rushed to say my name.

"Hi, uh, we didn't mean to barge in," I cleared my throat, smiling at the two adults. "We tried knocking but I'm sure the storm drowned us out."

My eyes caught Billy's as he chewed in contemplation. But it was Heather's father that spoke up, "I'm sorry, who is this dripping all over my living room right now?"

Billy chuckled, setting his utensils down, "I'm sorry." He set the cloth napkin down, "Janet, Tom, this... Is my sister, Maxine." I cleared my throat, offering him a glare. "And my ex-girlfriend, they're very close still."

"Oh!" Janet cooed as Billy stood from his seat.

"Did he say ex?" Max muttered to me as I glared at Billy.

But he took no notice, instead spoke in a sickly sweet voice, "What on Earth are you two doing here?" He approached us, my hand tightening around Max' shoulder as his eyes flickered between us, "Is something wrong?"

"We just wanted to make sure everything was okay," Max answered quickly.

"'Okay'?" Billy repeated, his eyes cutting up to mine. "Why wouldn't everything be okay?"

"Maybe 'cause you were sweating bullets yesterday, have been avoiding me, and now we find you playing house with the Holloways," I perked a brow at him. "The hell's really going on, Billy?"

"I'm having dinner, princess," he cocked his head at me.

Before I could retort, Eleven demanded, "Where is she?"

I hated the way Billy's eyes then shot over to the girl. I pulled her slightly closer as Billy leered, "I'm sorry. Where is who?"

"Billy," I warned, his eyes returning to mine.

"Well," a new, chipper voice chimed in, "they're a little burnt, I'm sorry - " Heather cut herself off when she noticed Billy not at the table and lifted her gaze, finding us. She breathed my name as if in shock, my stomach knotting in confusion.

"Heather!" Billy greeted, gesturing to the young woman that had just entered the dining room through the kitchen. "This is my sister, Maxine. And you know the princess here," he gestured Max and I, ignoring my unamused glare because his eyes turned back to Eleven. "And I'm sorry, I did not quite catch your name."

I shifted when the girl glared up at Billy, "El."

"El," Billy repeated with a slow point of his pointer finger. "Now, what is it you were saying, El? You were looking for someone?"

It was hard to ignore the ominous way the storm raged in the background.

"I-I saw," El stuttered in confusion, looking over at a perfectly healthy Heather. "I saw you - "

"Your manager," I covered, nodding along. "Mhm, isn't that right girls? Saw Heather's manager at the pool. Said you," I nodded at Heather, "and Billy," my eyes cut over to him, "didn't come into work today, so, the girls came to see me, to see if I knew where Billy was, and uh, so lead us here. We, uh, we got kinda worried."

"Heather wasn't feeling so hot today," Billy answered me, looking like he was taunting us, "so we thought we'd take the day off to nurse her back to health." He looked over to the girl, "But you're feeling just fine right now, aren't you, Heather?"

"I'm feeling so much better," Heather assured. But something was off. Something wasn't right.

"Let me talk to you really quick, doll, over here," Billy sniffled, nodding down the hall of the Holloway house.

"Hang tight, girls," I muttered, backing up a step as I kept my glare on Billy. He smiled to the others before stepping after me, the moment the wall blocked us, however, he was dropping the nice act.

"Do you girls want a cookie?" Heather was heard asking, Billy's hand gripping my upper arm and ushering me down the hall to the foyer.

"The hell are you doing here?" Billy growled. "I told you to stay away."

"Me?" I snapped in a hiss. "What the hell is my boyfriend doing here, playing all nice with Heather and her parents? Being domestic and shit! Who even are you? Harry Homemaker?"

"You need to leave - "

"And in the shirt I bought you," I scoffed. "You playin' some game, Billy, the honest fuck is up with you?"

"I broke up with you," he reminded. "You might not like it, but it happened. Get used to it. You need to go."

"Billy, what the fuck - "

"I can't hurt you, I won't risk hurting you, baby, you need to fucking listen to me and leave," he seethed. "You need to go, you're in danger around me."

I shook my head, "So, I should leave you with Heather?"

"I'm dating Heather now," he snapped, "so, yeah, leave me and my girl alone."

I felt tears slightly swell, keeping my voice steady as I asked, "You're dating her already?"

"Just because you can't get it in your head that we're over, doesn't mean I was gonna wait around all summer."

"Who even are you anymore?" I scoffed, pushing past him again to make for the hall. "C'mon, girls, Heather and Billy are feeling fine and we should go. C'mon," I waved them to me. "Sorry to interrupt your evening, Mr. and Mrs. Holloway, Heather."

"It's okay, dear," Janet smiled. "You were worried."

"Not anymore," I chuckled dryly, leading them out of the house and ignoring Billy.

"Baby?" He whispered in confusion, shaking his head as I shoved past him and out the front door.

"What happened?" Max asked as she kept up with me.

"Something's up," I rushed, glancing back to see Billy shut the front door and keep watch from the glass pane. I wrapped my arms around the girls again to keep them close, "Something's wrong."

"That's what I've been saying!" Eleven groaned as she dropped into the backseat of my car once I unlocked it.

Pulling away from the warmly-lit home, I had no honest idea the chaos that would follow.

"And you... You were happy," El wept, staring up at Billy as she desperately tried to connect with his soul to fight off the Mind Flayer's hold. She gingerly lifted her hand to press to his cheek, speaking softly, "A-And you didn't think you'd feel that again. Until her," she sniffled with a soft smile. "She loves you no matter what, an-and she makes you happy. T-The happiest you've been, since your mom..."

Billy let out a shuddering breath, eyes closed as his warped mind cleared slightly to replay the memory of him on the beach with his mother - before flashing to a new memory that El wanted him to remember. It was spring break '85 and Billy remembered his girlfriend bouncing up to him after school in the parking lot.

She wore a beaming smile and clutched an envelope in her hands. She was so excited that Billy had to catch her in his embrace and take a step or two back to regain his balance. His perfect girl was practically vibrating and Billy turned to set her on the trunk of his car, asking what had her so wound up.

Inside the envelope was cash. He was confused until she explained it was gas and motel money to get them from Hawkins to his hometown (and back) for the break. But the one "downside" was they had to leave right that second to get home, pack, and get on the road.

She had everything planned out for them.

Billy's mind then flashed in an instant to her on that same beach; laughing in the surf as she'd never seen it before. Eleven focused and brought forth the feeling in his chest; that feeling he had when he watched her in the water until the sun started to set; realizing how in-love he was and that he'd do anything for that girl.

He'd do anything to see that smile again.

Anything.

Including turning on the Mind Flayer in a final act of heroism.

Before he could pull back, El put the cherry on top by telling him, "Don't leave her alone in this. She needs you, like you need her."

As Billy stood to face off with the meaty monster, Max had hold of my hand as we rushed to the scene with Mike Wheeler after waking them up from being knocked out by Billy.

"Shit!" I cursed, pushing the kids back and dashing forward, hearing Max scream my name. "No, no, no, no, no, no," I muttered, "hey, hey, you okay?" I dropped beside Eleven, taking her under her arms and rocking to my feet to yank her back a few feet with me.

Billy heard Max screaming and glanced back to catch sight of me, his eyes blown in panic. When the Mind Flayer shot an arm out to grab Eleven, I used my body to twist to protect her as Billy physically grabbed the fleshy arm.

"NO!" He shouted.

"BILLY!" I screamed, fear suffocating me.

Monsters and mayhem, Billy being possessed, all of it didn't make sense but this wasn't the time for sense - this was the time for action. And Billy didn't waste a second of it.

He screamed in anguish as the monster stabbed through his torso but before it could deliver the fatal blow, something changed. With three clawed arms dug into his flesh, the monster started to scream. Panting, I pushed off the ground and away from Eleven in time for the Mind Flayer to yank his arms free of Billy's chest as it started to thrash around, sliding to my knees with a grunt as his limp body fell into mine.

"Oh, my God, oh fuck, oh fuck, okay," I panicked, maneuvering him to the floor and taking stock of his injuries. "Okay, okay, this is - this isn't good, shit, fuck, okay, okay, I really should've paid attention in those first aid classes."

Billy coughed, blood splattering down his chin as the Mind Flayer roared and thrashed around the floor of the mall, "B-Baby."

"Hey, hey," I panted, glancing up at the monster before back at Billy, "you're okay, baby, just hang on."

I flinched over his body when the Mind Flayer whipped to the side and crashed into the upper deck of the mall before slumping over dead. I peaked up to check the danger was gone before looking back down at Billy, who was struggling to breath clearly.

"Oh shit, oh, my God," I breathed, looking around for help but not finding anything. I huffed and pulled back slightly to whip my shirt off, leaving me in a sports bra, and instantly pressed it to the gaping, bleeding wounds on Billy's stomach. "You're okay, you're okay," I nodded.

"Baby," he wheezed, "I gotta tell you..."

"No, it's okay, save your strength," I begged, pressing harder and hearing blood squelching.

"I'm so sorry, doll," he muttered, me hearing footsteps thundering towards us.

"It's okay, it's okay," I nodded at him, tears falling uncontrollably. "You're gonna be okay - "

"Billy!" Max gasped, dropping to her knees beside me.

"It's okay," I repeated, looking around. "Okay, we uh... We gotta get him outta here."

I heard my name being spoken softly, looking up at El as she crawled over towards us - Mike hovering at her shoulder. "I can help," she nodded.

"You're hurt, sweetheart," I shook my head. "You rest, we just gotta get him out of here."

"Do you guys hear that?" Mike asked, kneeling to hold Eleven.

"Just hang on," I whispered to Billy, who coughed again.

"Helicopters," Max nodded to Mike, looking back at Billy. "You hear that, Billy? T-They're coming, they're gonna help. You're gonna be fine."

"Yeah, see?" I sniffled, nodding down at him. "You're gonna be fine, it's okay."

"I'm so sorry," he cried, blood splattering across his chin, neck, and cheeks. I lifted to use my knee to hold pressure to his abdomen, freeing my bloody hands to caress his cheek.

"It's okay," I assured. "Look at what you were battling against."

"Did I?" he sputtered.

"You did," I nodded again. "Y-You kept telling me to get away, you tried to protect me. That meant somewhere in your mind, you were fighting, baby. You did so well, saved all of us."

Max nodded in agreement as he struggled to breath. "T-Too tight," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, baby, but we have to staunch the bleeding," I shook my head as the doors of the mall burst open and military soldiers stormed inside, all shouting different orders. "HEY! HEY! OVER HERE! PLEASE!"

"It's okay, baby," Billy panted, grunting as he tried to smile but it twisted into a grimace. "Just let me go, huh? 'M too far gone."

"Not in this lifetime," I snapped, looking back up at the soldiers. "OVER HERE! PLEASE! WE NEED AN AMBULANCE!"

Max was left sobbing in Eleven's arms; Mike trying to stand strong above them both as I kept hold of Billy. "I love you," he muttered, eyes fluttering.

"Billy? Hey, hey, Billy! Wait, no, baby, please! Wait, wait, I love you, too! Okay? You hear me? Open your eyes! Open your eyes, Billy, please, baby, don't leave me - c'mon. Don't do this. Don't do this to me, you can't leave me, I just found you. Please, please. Baby, open your eyes, please, don't do this. I know you were fighting for so long but please, please, just fight a little longer for me. Just a little longer!"

"Ma'am! We need to evacuate you all!" a heavily uniformed man approached us, a few ushering the other kids out to the parking lot. "We have to move him out - "

"Not without EMTs and a gurney, I'm not letting pressure off his wounds, he's still alive," I snapped back. When he tried to reach for me, I threatened, "It takes the same force to bite through a finger as it does a carrot, so don't fucking try me!"

"Hey, hey," A new voice called, "leave her be! There's an ambulance here, they're bringing the stretcher!"

The man who gave the new order had grey salted hair, nodding at me as I looked tearfully back at Billy. When the EMTs arrived, they took stock of the injuries before agreeing I couldn't let off any pressure and quickly helping me maneuver in order to get a hardback board under an unconscious Billy.

He was also collared and an oxygen mask placed over his nose and mouth.

After they shoved towels under my knee to let me stand, they got him on the stretcher before an army was surging past us into the mall and I was running, slathered in Billy's blood, after his gurney.

Someone was shouting my name, earning my attention as Max burst forth from the hold of other officers. "C'mon," I panted, waving her after us.

"Wait, wait," a paramedic halted us, "only one can ride with him."

"She's his girlfriend!" "She's his sister!" Max and I barked at the same time, pointing at the other.

"Only one," they repeated, the doors of the ambulance being ripped open and Billy prepared to board.

"I'll give you ladies a ride," a different officer nodded.

"Don't leave him alone," Max nodded, pushing me forward. "We'll meet you at the hospital."

I sighed and nodded, no time to argue before hopping inside the ambulance and trying not to gag over the amount of blood already present. There was a high-pitched whine in my ears as I watched the professionals work, my breathing stunted in shock as Billy didn't wake up or stir the entire ride.

Nor did he for 7 weeks after the mall fire.

The nursing staff eventually put a cot in his room for me, pushed up to the side so I could reach out and hold his hand when wanted. The constant beeping of his monitors became soothing simply because it meant he was still alive; a feeding tube placed, catheter, and he was intubated due to the coma.

I liked reading to him. Max would bring me a few books from the library, my parents would bring changes of clothes, and my Dad usually brought me a Thermos of 'good coffee' so I wasn't drinking 'that hospital crap'.

The doctors assured me it was a god sign if he survived past 48 hours, but now it'd been 7 fucking weeks of just waiting.

Sleep wasn't a real thing but I was sat on my cot at his bedside, his hand tight in mine, with my head bowed to his bed, it was easy to doze off. I groaned lightly when something squeezed my hand, reflexively tightening my hold on the fingers in mine as I sighed from slumber. However, when I realized the hand in my own was squeezing, I shot up with a small yelp.

Billy blinked at me with a slight crinkle of his brows, looking nervously around the room before back at me. "Oh, my God," I breathed, standing to push the cot away, "hi, hi, oh, wow, you're awake. I gotta get the doctors - " I paused when his hand tightened in mine, making me pause my departure. "Hey, hey," I soothed, lowering myself slightly to push a few unruly curls off his forehead, "I'm just stepping out the door, I'll just be 45 seconds, okay? I'll be right back, baby, but you need a doctor to check you out."

He nodded stiffly, blinking back tears when I kissed the back of his hand and begrudgingly let go to dash for his hospital door. I located personnel and insisted they needed to page the doctors on call before dipping back into Billy's room and sliding my hand into his by second 43.

A medical team piled into the room and I was allowed to hold his hand through the entire ordeal as they gave Billy the green light to have his breathing tube removed. Once cleaned up and the doctors out of the room, 5 mg of pain killers dispensed for his comfort, I drug an empty chair up to his side and just sat in peace.

"You waited?" he muttered, throat scratched to high-hell from the tube left in his throat.

I half-smiled back at him, sighing, "I wasn't going to leave you." He blinked a few times from the drugs in his system. "I'm really happy you're awake," I sighed. "Had us worried for a bit."

"'Us'?"

"Max came by everyday, hung out with me," I smiled. "She was pretty worried but she'll come by in the morning and will lose her shit to see you finally awake."

"Really?"

"Yeah, baby," I nodded, kissing the back of his hand again. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I got my ass and mind beat by some inter-dimensional monster," he chuckled.

"Yeah, about that..."

"Oh, no," he groaned, "what's wrong now?"

"No, no, nothing," I rushed. "Um, it's just, they're gonna have you sign a bunch of documents. We're not allowed to talk about this once those documents are signed. And we may or may not be collecting some checks for our pain and suffering."

"That's not an issue," he grit his teeth.

"What hurts?"

"My ribs," he wheezed, "wait," his hand jumped out to snag my wrist when I moved to stand. "It's okay, I just wanna sit with you for a bit."

I sighed, "You can have another dose if you're in pain, baby."

"I'm okay," he nodded. "Just sit with me, baby. C'mere."

"No," I laughed when he tried to pull my hand towards him, "you're hurt and I'm not getting in bed with you."

"Just want you closer."

"You get really clingy when you're sick," I chuckled.

He sighed, nodding, "I owe you an apology."

"For what?" I breathed. "Baby, you were literally under mind control and I'm not holding anything against you."

"Doesn't mean I don't feel bad for what I did," he sniffled. "And for what I said to you, how I treated you."

"It's okay," I nodded again. "We can talk about it later, you need to rest."

"Get in bed with me."

"No," I chuckled, pushing up to stand and rearrange the chair and cot so I was close to him again. "I'm gonna lay here with you, though."

He smirked some, "All right, I'll take it. 'M sorry if I scared you."

"We can chalk that up to the monster made up of townspeople," I reached forward to tuck hair behind his ear before letting my fingers slide across his cheek before pressing in a caress.

"Deal," his hand rose to gently trace over my jaw with his fingertips. "I love you, pretty girl... So fucking much, you know that?"

I smiled, "I do know that."

"We're going back to the beach when I get outta here," he huffed, slowly letting his eyes close. "Gettin' outta this town."

I kissed his hand again before laying our arms down, "Mhm, first chance we get, baby."

"Not leavin' Max," he mumbled.

"No, never," I assured, watching him rest comfortably as my heart shred itself and stitched itself back together out of relief. Praying his suffering was over, I kissed his hand again and laid my head down. "I love you, too."

Thinking he was asleep, I didn't expect him to whisper, "Good."

[myonepiece]

could do corazon, Katakuri, Marco as romantic book quotes pleasecould do corazon, Katakuri, Marco as romantic book quotes please

rosinante, katakuri, marco as romantic book quotes

description: rosinante, katakuri, and marco (separate) as romantic quotes from books

warnings: mentions of death (character and reader)

“who, being loved, is poor?”

-a woman of no importance by oscar wilde

rosinante's life has many ups and downs, yes his brother and he are rich, rosi doesn't care for the wealth. it's not that he doesn't like where they got it from, he simply doesn't care- he forgets about it often, including when he goes travelling. he's gone off on a small mission or simply a vacation and forgotten to take money, he ended up on the street smoking under the coverage of a shop's overhang while the rain pelted down soaking his clothes- but he doesn't care because he's replaying the time you and him got caught in the rain and rolled down with his entire figure wrapped protectively around you. when people talk ill to/about him, he couldn't care less because that morning you told him you love him. he forgot to take enough money for your date, you shared a single ice cream cone that rosi dropped on the floor, but you only cupped his cheek tenderly and kissed his nose calling him "cute".

“if i were to live a thousand years, i would belong to you for all of them. if we were to live a thousand lives, i would want to make you mine in each one.”

-the evolution of mara dyer by michelle hodkin

rosinante is one of the most loyal characters, when he's fallen in love that's it for him, no one else is after them, whether they're absence be of death or a lighter circumstance that has their return. whenever he leaves he spends. the night before making love to you and whispering affirmations of his eternal love and fidelity, and he leaves the next morning with a single prolonged kiss while you're still asleep in your shared bed. when he gets back. he sweeps past each and every person welcoming him back hurrying straight to your waiting arms and lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist. when you leave he spends his spare time by his brother's side because that's the most entertaining thing he can do without you, or he's napping, working with the marines, bu the day you get back he stays up all night so he can be there at the front door of the palace when you arrive at the first peek of sunlight.

“once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

-the history of love by nicole krauss

katakuri is a thinker, analyzing situation easily, one of the reasons he's in such high regard of his mother, siblings, and marines- he often finds himself pondering why you have such an effect on him, why your laugh doesn' tsound.. like a laugh, but like.. a simple sound that carries the sunlight. he wonders why he stares at you for hours without realizing it, why his hands constantly itch to feelyour significantly smaller ones in them.

“i have for the first time found what i can truly love—i have found you. you are my sympathy—my better self—my good angel—i am bound to you with a strong attachment."

-jane eyre by charlotte brontë

despite having an arranged marriage (or not) he can feel himself immediately enraptured by your very being, instantly feeling a sort of commitment and unavoidable loyalty like on first sight a chain was fastened around his heart tying it to you. he feels the need to protect your heart, in a disembodied sense as well, to save your free will and innocence from the monters of his family and the world, even if you've seen far too many to be considered an angel by definition, katakuri sees you as everything innocent in the world.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

-winnie the pooh by a.a. milne

he doesn't think about it per say, it's sort of a subconcious thought in the back of his mind, he's already made up his mind that he'll die before you. he'd throw himself in front of a bullet without a moment's hesitation or even goodbye, simply throwing his life away to save you- and not once does he fight with his subconcious about this. he's content in knowing one day everything will just stop, and moments before that you'd still be there, he wouldn't have to know what life is like without you. he doesn't care that you'll feel guilty, or argue with him, get mad at him for doing something so reckless, there's nothing you could do to stop him from protecting you with every bit of his soul, from diving into the silence of death before your very eyes, only to save you- no head nod signifying he'd be leaving then, no squeeze on your hand, no kiss, no muttered words, only a blur of blue flames with purple, and then the absence of a man.

"grow old along with me! the best is yet to be.”

-rabbi ben ezra by robert browning

once marco is in love he's set on living out the rest of his life with them. wherever it takes him it's bound to be an adventure, sailing with the crew for years to come, living life to fullest and running along the glittering shores with nothing but freedom and laughter knowing that you don't have to worry about being alone again. after years of voyages and love, when it's time to go, you both leave with a smile, knowing that you found your soulmate early enough to experience the best life has to offer, you had life at your finger tips and had seen more than most average people would in their life time- your lives are spent, and your love runs with the sand of your hourglass, because only when your body dies, does your love for each other.

[raziroo]

Cotton Candy

Pairing: Lotor x gn!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Saying "Shit" twice

Word count: 2,076 (yay) (also, I edited this, I still need to update the word count)

Author’s Note: I'm crap at writing dialogues, and this is my first time writing for a gay couple. I'm so sorry if it seems forced or unnatural or shitty. Don't be afraid to call me out.

Story Moodboard!

It’s with a grunt of effort that I manage to lift the carton containing the cotton-candy-maker.

‘Here, dad,’ I say as my dad takes the box from my hands. ‘That’s all?’

‘Yep, that’s all of it. We’ll conquer this carnival with our delicious cotton candy,’ I nod, doing jazz hands while saying the last part. Dad chuckles. I grin.

‘Hey, Honey!’ I turn back, squinting to spot where my other dad is in the crowd of bustling people. Where, where…? Yep, there he is – in his embarrassingly brilliant sunshine yellow and bottle green striped shirt and hot pink trousers, a sharp contrast to his natural bright red hair. Don’t say that it can’t look that bright; you’ll never know just how blindingly bright bottle green can really be until you see the shirt my dad’s wearing. And trust me, he usually dresses in simpler tones; such bland tones that you’d be surprised to know he was capable of wearing colourful hues as well. It’s only that he’s very passionate about his job, and so whenever we set up a booth in fetes such as the current one, he never misses to match the shop logo.

‘Hul-lo, father dearest, how seems to go your day?’

‘Oh, quite lovely, if I do say so.’

‘Well, that’s simply charming –’

‘Alright, enough,’ my other, not redhead dad snaps with an exasperated sort of smile on his visage. You see, my not redhead, a.k.a. brown-haired dad happens to be British. And that means that me and dad would rather paint our teeth blue than to not tease him. ‘You both need to shut it and start helping me with the decorations, now. You know I’m trash at all that.’

‘Aw, now don’t get discouraged,’ I say, patting dad on the back. ‘After all, not everyone can be as blessed as me, can they?’

‘Hey, why don’t you go look around for a bit? You’ve been helping out since before I have.’

‘Yeah, he’s right, pet. You should.’

I huff, rubbing my palms on the fabric of my jeans. ‘You guys sure? I’m not tired, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

‘We’re not worried, we’re just saying you should also get a look, you know? There’s a lot of surprising booths this time around. I mean, there are aliens participating too, so…’

‘Hmm,’ I play with my bottom lip a little, then, ‘yeah, okay. I’ll be back in like, an hour? Forty five minutes? Sound okay?’

‘Sounds great.’

‘Bye, then.’ And with that, I turn on the heels of my Converse, wandering about the pretty stalls and eager children and kissy couples and aliens with curious features.

It really feels bizarre, just how astonishingly fast mankind has accepted the existence of aliens. It seems simultaneously ages and just a day before when conspiracy theorists raged all around the world, presenting baseless theories and concepts as to why and how the three-man squad on the Kerberos mission disappeared. Then came the Galra, bringing along with them global terror – because alien life, intelligent alien life existed and humanity remained oblivious all these millennia, and now they were actually attacking us. It could’ve been, perhaps even was, in some other dimension, the end of Earth. But then a defender appeared; Voltron appeared in all its glory, bringing along with it proof that however much these purple aliens claim that humans are scum of the universe, humans were, in the grand scheme of things, the ones that saved the universe too.

It feels even more puzzling to actually be on a first-name basis with the leader of Voltron; that’s right, I’m personally acquainted with Keith Kogane. It was around six months after him leaving the Garrison did I come across him. He’d been loitering around the neighbourhood, had ended up in a fistfight with some other kids, and along with that a split lip and bruised cheek. I’d been watching. When the fight ended, I (somehow) persuaded him to come along so that I could at the very least provide him with a band-aid.

Long story short, we’d bonded over how our moms were no-shows and how dads were the best and we became surprisingly close friends; the only difference was that after the death of his old man, he lived alone. I’d been adopted by my two current fathers. I told him about how when they’d initially adopted me, I was excruciatingly shy. I wouldn’t even come out of my room except meals. It was only when I came to know that they knew how to make candy floss had I timidly approached them if I could have some, because previously I’d always been grossed out at the thought of having to eat that. I’d overheard this group of kids saying that cotton candy was actually just dyed granny hair, so that’s where that came from.

I love cotton candy now. So much so, that even at the age of twenty-six, I will pout if someone takes some of mine without my permission. As if I’d ever allow them to.

Speaking of Keith, I haven’t seen him in years. We lost all contact when he turned eighteen, and then he went off into space, and even when he came back, I didn’t get a chance to meet him. I bear no ill will, though. He must have formed some close relationships. Our past friendship is comparatively much more trivial.

I spot a booth selling grilled corn. I instantly head there.

As I’m about join the crowd of humans and aliens who also want corn, a familiar call of my name leads me to pull a three sixty.

Lo and behold. Keith Kogane.

Despite him having obviously grown a lot, the face was still the same. I’m sure that, if he gets a split lip and bruise on his cheek right now, he won’t look all that different.

There’s a questioning hesitance on his features; he’s probably wondering if he’s got the right person. My pleasantly surprised smile and raised eyebrows assure him. As I step away from the grilled corn stall, I notice a motley crowd behind him; some are purple, some are holding Voltron plushies, and some look way too curious to be in a carnival. The introduction is going to be fun.

‘Keith! You're gonna live a hundred years - I was just thinking about you. But anyways, it’s – it’s great to see you,’ I say with a little giggle. ‘Though I am kind of surprised you actually approached me. The sixteen-year-old you would never.’

He smiles awkwardly in return. ‘Y – yeah… I, just… oh God, this is – I’m sorry,’ he says, his inner turmoil evident.

‘It’s all good. I know you’re shit at small talk, so… like, introduce me? Maybe?’

He nods rapidly, brows furrowed. ‘Yeah, um,’ he turns to the people behind him, telling them my name, how we met, the whole affair. I give them a wave. Most of them greet me back.

‘And, this is Shiro and Curtis,’ he points to the tall, white-haired yet young man, holding hands with a tanner guy, ‘Lance, Pidge and Hunk,’ he points to a lanky, bright-smiled guy, a buffer, kind-seeming person, and a short chestnut-haired woman who, despite wearing baggy jeans and a baggier tee, looks somehow better dressed than me. ‘Then that’s Allura, Coran, and Romelle, they’re Alteans,’ a woman with enchanting beauty and a regal aura surrounding her, a redhead who’s significantly older than the rest with an impressive moustache, and a youthful appearing girl with a big grin, ‘and Lotor, he’s Galran. The Galran Emperor, in fact.’ Lotor is a tall, lilac-skinned man with aristocratic features who shares the same cheek markings as the Alteans. Oh, and he’s unfairly gorgeous, his hair a luscious mane of white which I just know will be soft. It’s hard not to stare. You remember how I said Allura looked like royalty? Yeah, the way this man carries himself, he has the aura and visage of a God. Even in a white tee-shirt and jeans he looks way better than should be legal.

I rip my eyes away.

‘So…are Noah and Oliver here too? I’d love to see them. I mean, I never did get to thank them to permit a possible criminal to sleep in their house.’

I laugh. ‘Never mind that, but we actually sit up a stall here. I could, you know, maybe even get you guys something to eat.’

‘Free? Please don’t.’

‘It’s nothing, really, just… I don’t know, accept it as a small thank you present for not letting the planet go to shit.’

A bit of thinking. Even after a nod from Shiro, it was Lance who said yes. Good ol’ Keith.

When we reach the stall, my British dad is the only one we find there. He looks up, about to say something to me, when he notices Keith.

‘Dad. You remember Keith?’

‘Your possible criminal friend who turned out to be the saviour of the universe Keith?’

‘That Keith. He wanted to see you.’

‘Oh? Well then,’ he dusts his hands, stands up, and greets Keith. Both of them engage in a conversation.

‘You guys wanna try something?’

‘What do you got?’ asks Pidge.

‘What do we got? Um, we got chocolates, candy, marshmallows, jellybeans, tortilla chips, ice cream, popcorn – butter, cheese, caramel, peri peri – Lays, like, a lot of Lays, and the good old cotton candy. What d’you want?’

So, after providing the humans with two Cream n’ Onion Lays, a pack of tortilla chips, a double scoop of butterscotch and chocolate, a small tub of popcorn, and three cotton candy sticks, I turned to the aliens.

‘I’m assuming you guys aren’t familiar with a lot of this stuff, so you could either pick whatever looks to be good, ask your friends, or I could recommend something. What’ll it be?’

Romelle was the one who asked, ‘What’s ice cream like?’

‘It’s sweet. It’s cold. And it’s like… heaven in mouth.’

‘Ooh. I want an ice cream. The… pink one?’

‘That’s strawberry. You can eat it in a cone, or in a cup.

‘What’s the difference?’

‘Well, the cup you can’t eat. The cone is like a crispy biscuit,’ judging by her face, she didn’t know what biscuit was. ‘I’ll just give you a cone. It’s all on the house, so no worries if you don’t like it.’

I watched eagerly as she licked the ice cream. An unreadable look crossed her face. Then – ‘This is almost as good as Hunk’s cookies!’

‘Really?’ Coran asked, twirling his moustache. ‘Well, then…’ he squinted to read the names of the various flavours. ‘I would like “cookies and cream”. Yes.’ A cone of cookies n’ cream was served.

‘Allura?’

‘Do you have something that isn’t sweet?’ That was a plot twist. I’d have taken her as someone who appreciated sweeter foods.

‘We do. You want spicy?’

‘…Sure.’ Peri Peri popcorn was given and enjoyed.

And last… ‘Lotor. What would you like to have?’

It takes me a lot of will to not laugh at Lotor’s way too analytical expression. ‘What would you recommend?’

‘Me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Out of all this stuff, candy floss is my favourite.’

‘Candy floss… the item that looks simultaneously like a cloud and an old woman’s hair?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I would like a helping of candy floss, then.’

As I hand Lotor a stick of cotton candy, I wait with anticipation for his reaction.

‘How am I supposed to eat this?’

It takes me a moment to process that. ‘Uh, you just… pinch a little of the stuff in between your fingers, then eat it. Or you could just, um, go in directly, which I’m thinking isn’t really your style.’

He narrows his eyes, but follows my instructions nonetheless. Only a second after putting the stuff in his mouth, Lotor purrs.

Everyone around him, being me, Coran and Romelle (Allura’s off telling Lance how great Earth food is), looks with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Lotor appears as if he’s just died inside. The berry-shaded blush on his face is adorable, though.

'I didn't, like, poison you or something, right?'

'No. It's that... I would never in my lifetimes have expected something so tooth-rottingly sweet to be this delicious.'

'So you're okay?'

‘Yes. In fact, I quite like… this cotton candy.’

I grin.

[imagine-lcorp]

Between Two Lungs (One Shot)

A/N: Hello dears, so here it is the infamous fic I’ve been writing. I really hope this fullfils my dream of crushing your hearts once again and that you have a fun time agonizing over this final choice. Because yes, I’ve made this a multiending fic...As always, remember to tell me what you think, is it something you want me to keep doing for other fics? Also, how did you feel after this? pls let me know. Also i made this PLAYLIST if you want to add some feeling to this while reading... Enjoy! 

Lena Luthor x R/Hanahaki AU//Word Count: 3,464

-------------------------------------------------

It is possible to die of a broken heart.

You look it up somewhere in the internet. It's similar to a heart attack, caused by a very strong and emotionally stressful event. The death of a loved one, a breakup, a betrayal. It's treatable and rarely fatal. Following the recommendations of your doctor, you can make a full recovery within weeks. Still, it is possible to die of it.

You don't have a broken heart. You wish you had one. Because love, the one only you feel, is growing inside of you and it is much worse than that.

Thankfully, compared to others your condition it's not as painful as it could be.

You have heard about people with roses inside them, how their thorns puncture their pharynges with every breath they take. Others don't get flowers. They get apple or cherry trees with their fruits pouring juice inside their lungs and out of their mouths. Some others have pines and spruces, with cones constricting their organs and rib-cages until they bones break.

So you look at the small white petal that lays in your hand and think that, in your case, it is something almost magnanimous.

Plumerias have no thorns and, even though some can be a bit thick, their branches are soft enough to bend around your heart and lungs without much trouble. Their petals, small and delicate, rise easily up your throat without lacerating it in a coughing fit.

Maybe, you want to think in a very optimist way, if you can keep that love from growing further, you won't have to suffer through it.

Maybe.

So you prescribe for your own heart solitude and abstinence.

The first one is the easiest.

You tell your friends you are sick and need some time to recover. Most of them get worried as they don't know yet what illness has fallen upon you in these troublesome times.

"You know, If you wanted, I could get you a full medical examination." Alex offers with a raised eyebrow, giving you the look of the always concerned big sister.

"Thanks, but it's alright." You assure them with a smile. "I was thinking about spending some time at home anyway."

After a lot of questions you manage to dodge in the end, they decide there's no reason to doubt your intentions. So they leave you to your own devices.

Homemade remedies, or herbicides depending on who you ask, seem to help as you spend your days at home. Drinking some salt water with lemon in the morning, or a couple of vinegar tablespoons in a cup of tea before going to bed. They don't taste that bad once you get used to the flavor and these help you ease the new bitterness that you taste in the back of your throat.

The second is a bit harder.

You have to stop yourself from dreaming her, thinking her, missing her.

She has texted you a few times already, wanting to know how you're doing and offering her help if you don't feel like you're doing okay on your own. You handle it as best as you can. You text back, consistently enough and with measured time and words, so you don't raise any red flags. When you don't seem to answer she calls, but just thinking about hearing her voice makes your chest hurt a little.

You never answer. She doesn't try to call again. You spit your first handful of flowers after that.

It's all fine, you lie to yourself, at least until the pain reaches your insides and white petals come out of you mouth dappled in red.

"You need to tell her." Kara says softly as she pats your back after another coughing fit.

You cover your mouth with your hand, making sure there are no signs of blood or petals as you tight it into a fist. "Tell who what?"

"Tell Lena about the flowers." She sighs when she fells you freeze under her touch. "Sorry. Alex told me if I could get a clear shot at your lungs maybe we could figure out how to help. I didn't expect it to be... well, flowers."

It shouldn't come as a surprise to you but you are still amazed at how easy it is to forget Kara has x-ray vision when she's not wearing her suit. With or without it, she's still the same caring and protective person you have always known. It also explains why she has been so adamant about having lunch together, at least once a week, after your failed attempt at convincing her you were doing well after a month alone. You couldn't expect less from your best friend, you remind yourself as you catch your breath.

"How do you know it's her?" The taste is bitter as you swallow the rest of blood and petals in your mouth.

"It's plumerias, isn't it?" She rubs your back again as you regain you posture. "They are her favorites."

There are a couple of red tainted petals in your palm when you open your hand. "Yeah, they are."  

Kara looks at you and you see something in her you don't think you have ever seen before in the Girl of Steel. But you recognize it, because you feel the same way. Hopeless. Helpless. Powerless.

"(Y/N)." She says like she's already grieving. "It's spreading fast."

The easiest way to get ride of the disease is by removing its seed from your heart, the doctor says. No more than an hour in the operating room and your respiratory system would be as good as new. Common symptoms after the surgery can include aches between your shoulder blades, ribs, back of the neck or chest, weakness and hoarseness in your voice, and, in general, some memory loss and the inability to experiment intense or deep affection towards another person. Most of these stop shortly after you recover, except for the last one.

More experimental methods have been developed with the help of biotherapy. Experts in Japan are said to have reduced the spread of the flowers with other plants like kudzu or barberry, while someone in Europe has been using thrips to eat the plant and control its growth. It's like using maggots to eat your wounds, the doctor explains more enthusiastic than you feel.

You could, of course, try the simplest of things and confess your love.

It only takes to be loved in return for you to heal before any permanent damage is done. The seed that grows in your heart will almost instantly wither, the cough will purge the last of the flowers out of your lungs, and your recovery will last only a couple of weeks. You will breathe again.

But, if your love goes unrequited, you'll reach your fatal end in a matter of days. Doctors will give you a double dose of morphine or induce a coma trying to ease your pain. Flowers, fruits and cones bloom, branches and thorns grow. You convulse and gasp until your last breath when the biggest flowers come out of your mouth. All until your thorax is transformed, beautifully and violently, into a garden of flesh and blood.

Anyone who has seen it happen will tell you, how shocking it is to witness such a thing.

Whatever the case, this only serves to confirm what you already know. You can't be optimistic anymore.

You're dying and you will die, soon with flowers in your lungs or after many years with a loveless heart. Because this life and death of yours, you think, cannot be, shall not be, decided by a coin in the air.

And yet.

"It's flowers...in my lungs." You can almost tell which direction the flower stalks take inside your chest as the words form in your mouth.

"Oh." Lena says as she starts to fidget with her hands.

The anger, that had been growing inside her after weeks of vague replies and evasions, vanishes in her eyes the moment she understands what you're going through.

"Have you...talked to the other person?"

"No, not really. Not yet." You try not to lose your composure as you feel the flowers threatening to rise up your throat.  

"Will you?" She asks.

You take a deep breath, feeling the gravity pull your already heavy heart down. "It's plumerias."

"Plumerias?" You can see the moment it dawns on Lena, and the look she gives you makes you wish again you could die of a broken heart instead.

"Miss Luthor, I'm sorry but the board meeting will start shortly."    

Jess opens the door a second later and it gives you time to look at the other side and place your hand in your chest. As if that could possibly stop your heart and lungs from collapsing.

"Thank you, Jess. I'll be there." Lena dismisses her with a nod and looks again at you.

She doesn't say anything else and you feel a coughing fit building in your lungs. Stronger than you have ever felt it.

"(Y/N)!" She leaves her chair, running towards you.

You cover your mouth as your chest feels like a boxer is using it as a punching bag. I doesn't feel like it will end quick and when it finally does the only thing that remains is pain.

You thank the chair that holds you in place as you catch your breath.  

"I'm fine. It's fine." You don't want her to see it, but she manages to catch a glimpse of the bloody petals that cover your palm once you recover.

"No, it's not, (Y/N). You're dying and I-"

"It's not your fault." You cut her off, shaking your head and taking a little napkin from you pocket to clean yourself as best as you can.

The death, the break, the betrayal. You feel it all as worry and pity finally merge in her eyes. There's also guilt when she looks at you. It is there along with everything else she doesn't feel for you. So you don't want an apology, especially not from her, especially not like this.  

"You're my friend and I just- I wanted you to know. I got my surgery already programmed."

"Surgery?" You watch her draw back a bit in surprise.

"I'll be fine." You lie again.

"(Y/N), I-"                            

"Miss Luthor, the board-"

"I know!" Lena snaps and, when she realizes the magnitude of her reaction, she retracts, taking a deep breath for herself before answering. "Sorry, yes. Do you think you could hold it for a minute?"

"You should go." You say with a small voice before any of them can say more. "The meeting, sounds important."

"(Y/N)..." The way she pronounces your name makes you want to be over with this already. You just can't stand it anymore.

"We'll talk later." You say. "We got time."

She wants to argue, you know, but you won't, can't, do it. Still, you pull a little smile for her.

"We'll talk later." She replies with a nod.

There will be time for another conversation. There will be time. There will be time. There will be time. You repeat it like a mantra to help you carry yourself out of her office.

Everything else after that passes like a blur.

You know you reach the front door of the building, with the voice of the receptionist behind your back offering to call for help. You stumble on the sidewalk trying to hold onto light poles and signposts to keep yourself from falling. You clutch your hand in your chest as the pain reaches its peak. Flowers come pouring out of your mouth and you gasp for air as you finally fall.

You're delirious by the time you land on the hospital bed.

Many faces come and go then, doctors, nurses, friends, ghosts, both the living and the death. The only constants are your dying gasps and the painful beating of your heart until the morphine does its work. It helps you see, with certain clarity the only face that can make a difference.

"You listen to me, alright? I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier." You open your heavy lids at the sound of her voice, and you see those emerald eyes for what could be the last time. "I love you, (Y/N), please, I love you."

You hear her words, or you don't, or it is simply to late to care anymore. The coin is in the air and there's no more time.

***

☞ You let yourself drift into darkness as the plumerias are pulled to a better light. The garden is gone and what is left behind is only an empty carcass. You cannot stand the emptiness and your heart does what it should have done from the beginning. It breaks and breaks and breaks...

***

☞ Your mind tries to grasp her words but you find your heart too weak to keep a hold of them. So you let them pass through like a shadow. No need for them anymore as the anesthesia and the scalpel give you a break from all this suffering. There will be no flowers and it is, truly, not as bad as it could be...

***

☞ Her words suddenly hit you in their full meaning and your mind does its best to keep and save them into your heart. Even through branches and petals, it has the effect of an echo chamber, repeating those words like a healing prayer. I love you. I love you. I love you...

[yourmomni]

Just like you ( Chapter 1)

Summary: When the daughter of Tony Stark puts together the new generation of the Avengers the last thing she expected was how hard it was going to be to persuade all their protogies.

Scarlett’s P.O.V. Change was coming and I knew it, dad knew it but you still weren’t prepared for what was happening . “I’m sorry you want to what? ” Lauren was hot on my tail to the kitchen “ Scar just hear me out okay, just think of all the good we can do in the word think of what our parents did and how much people loved them” I scoffed “ Lauren I’m nothing like my father I’m not a war hero from the 40’s I don’t have a vibranium shield and I definitely don’t want to be tracked by S.H.E.I.L.D. 24/7.” “ We don’t have to work for shield we can work for ourselves.” “ The answer is no Lauren” I grabbed my bookbag . “I  have to go to school; it was good seeing you.” I brushed passed her and headed out the door and down my driveway. The motorcycle that’s usually in the garage was gone which meant dad was on what he liked to call “a business trip” which meant he was off being Captain America. Lauren was definitely up to something big ; I mean what was she thinking putting together the world’s biggest and strongest heroes’ kids? Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea since hydra was coming back to the scene spitting out new villains every day. I walked to the bus stop looking at my watch waiting for it to come when I heard screaming “HELP ME PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP.” I looked over and saw a man trying to take a lady’s purse. Another day in New York, I guess. Before I could move a man was already helping the lady get her purse back or that’s what he thought before he was punched in the face by the guy falling to the ground. I chuckled and put my phone in my pocket and cracked my knuckles. I walked over and tapped on the man’s shoulder. “Excuse me sir would you mind returning this nice lady’s purse?” he scoffed and shook my hand off his shoulder. “Listen here little bitch go away before I ruin that pretty little face of yours and you end up like that guy.” I laughed and dropped my book bag. “Sir I’m not going to ask you again.” He swung his hand back and I dodged it throwing a punch connecting to his jaw causing him to fall and dropping the purse. “I THINK YOU BROKE MY JAW.” I rolled my eyes “I didn’t even hit you that hard.” I grabbed the purse and handed it back to the lady. “Here you go ma’am.” She smiled and thanked me and I grabbed my bookbag looking over to see the bus leaving. “AH FUCK” I ran after it “ WAIT WAIT PLEASE WAIT.” It turned the corner disappearing; dad is going to kill me if he knows I missed another day of school. I ran dan down an alley as fast as I could jumping over trash cans and flipping over traffic cones.” SORRY.” I yelled back at a man who I accidently knocked down. The pros and cons of being captain Americas daughter pro is that you also get his amazing agility and strength con is well you get his amazing agility and strength. It’s a blessing and a curse. By the time I got to school the first bell had ringed and kids were also running into the school. I walked to my locker and opened it stuffing my bookbag inside and taking out the books I needed quickly slamming it.”someone missed the bus.” I screamed. “LAUREN WHAT THE HELL.” She smirked “ I saw you save that lady scar you’re a hero.” I rolled my eyes and walked pass her. “Stark you don’t go here this is trespassing, and I would like if you didn’t follow me to school.” She followed me “Dude, you literally saved someone’s life today and your worried about me stalking you.” “ I didn’t save anyone I just returned a lady’s purse it was no big deal.” She got in front of me and I stopped walking “ scarlett just hear me out and after I say this and you still don’t wanna do it ill leave you alone I swear.” I nodded. “Fine but you have 5 minutes or im gonna be late.”

[robinrequiems]

mmm more clishes.... Idk reverse background or personality kind of au? :/

ill do you one better 1 of my favorite mutual, reverse & personality au, they’re the same age bc I have a tiny idea *shy hands*

this is uh. a really long one thay started to lag my phone too

• oh god guys I got vivid memories of ra’s being a good grandfather and I can’t get it out of my head

• i hate it ur honor

• but ok. krypton didn’t get blown up, instead, they all migrated to earth, more specifically kansas.

• the kryptonians are angry and enraged, they are treated as if they are monsters when they arrived peacefully. they tried to kill them.

• so in return, the aliens killed the humans.

• they created a secret underground. that secret underground is to help aliens or meta humans and kill humans.

• all of them hated aliens and sought to destroy them. until kal el found a reporter trying to help aliens who were injured due to an explosion the government did to take out one of their bases.

• kal el.. fell in love with her. lois lane, she is an reporter fighting for alien rights.

• he met with her. in secret. and they.. had formed a connection. an amazing one.

• and then they had a baby.

• at the alien base, but.. she was human and people did not like that. so they wiped her mind and made her believe that they never had a kid. like the last few months.. wasnt real. she had gone missing those months since the aliens didn’t want her trying to hide the baby, they made her believe the last few months was spent in a coma and kal had found her and taken her to a hospital.

• he couldn’t see her anymore. he mourned for her lost presence, but they would have killed her if she stayed.

• but now they had precious jon el. he would be the highlight of their cause.

• they noticed his powers came in faster than kal’s, so they perfected his powers.

• he was going to bring humanity down on order of his grandfather, jor el

• kal saw his son break slowly. loses that childhood innocence that kal tried to maintain.

• his sons amazing bright blue eyes dulling, loses the spark that he cherished.

• kal was going to get him out of there, try to refuge the remaining childhood he had. even if it killed him.

—

• damian wayne! the bright bubbly and prodigal son of bruce and talia wayne ( b & t are married, suck my— ). the press loved him, he was just.. him. he was the baby and was cute, the cutest ever

• he was an expert in martial arts due to the training his grandfather, father, mother, & so much more gave him

• ra’s owns a farm. he’s.. sorry all i get is farm ra’s vibes due to.. something:) think endgame thanos, yk?

• he was the baby robin, one that you never messed with due to the herd of heroes who would come save him

—

• kalel left jon with Lois, a brief note explaining the current situation

• it was weird, jon was ten and was meeting lois for the first time

“Hi, honey.. I’m lois.”

“I know.. Dad told me about you.”

“Oh.. right. What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat.”

“No! I’m not hungry!”

• an explosive, superpower alien. Lois is way out of her head.

• he had outbursts, a lot of them. it was hard, really hard for Lois; she took some time off from the planet and focused on jon

• he broke a lot of stuff. he sometimes could not control his strength, but she was working with him

• but then one night he ran away, or flew away. he felt remorse for making Lois cry. she saw this as a win, but she lost her kid

• but then a little robin found him

“Um. Are you okay?”

“Huh-what- what do you want? Why are you talking to me?”

“Because you look sad? Yknow - hugs make people feel better. My ahki ( brother ) hugs me when I’m upset and it makes me feel better.”

“Don’t touch me.”

*Damian walked to him, smiling softly* “cmon, i won’t hurt you, silly. I’m robin.”

“A bird?”

“Haha- no, a vigilante- i sorta snuck out. My family can be a bit overbearing- and I sorta embarrassed myself at this theater thing.. some person—“

“Did I ask?”

“No.. sorry.”

“Hey— what are you doing - !”

“Hugging you.”

Jon won’t admit that he likes it, it’s different and weird, like this traffic cone in front of him. Jon pushed him off though, making himself stumble and fall on his ass.

“Ow..”

“Don’t touch me.” With rhat, Jon flew off into the night. Damian didn’t know who this boy was. But he intended on finding out. Even if it killed him. ( maybe not that extreme, but- )

• look damian was smart, right? smarter than average, and smarter than everyone in his school. teachers included ( ha ha )

• so he had to find this boy! so he started looking into aliens. until his family put an end to it

“Damian, this is dangerous.”

“But baba ( dad )”

“No. Go to your room.”

“Ugh!”

• he did slam his door shut if you were wondering

• he will find the mysterious alien boy, okay? he will!

• his brothers teased him and said he had a crush

• no he didn’t! the boy was really mean, he pushed damian- why would he do that? whatta jerk!

• but damian did find him again when he ventured off to metropolis to visit an old friend, colin.

“Alien boy!”

“That’s not my name, bird boy.”

“And that’s not mine. You didn’t tell me yours!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s safer for you.”

“I can defend myself. You sound so silly, please tell me your name?”

“No.”

“‘Least the first initial?”

“Fine. J.”

“J it is.”

“Yours?”

“Wha- what? I told you my code named.”

“It’s only fair.”

“.. Okay. D.”

“D. Okay.”

• damian talked to him for a bit before jon did fly off when damian was talking about the stars, damian knew he was getting closer to him

• but he got grounded. whoops. he wasn’t supposed to go out

“Give me your phone, Damian.”

“What if I go out? I need a phone, baba.”

“I.. Your computer”

“School work.”

“Switch.”

“What! No- but-!”

“Damian.”

• yeah damian was very mad, but what made him madder was that apparently, his family was listening to the secret conversations between J and him. but d didn’t know that yet..

• his family needed to track down J, they didn’t care if people were aliens, the JL had aliens.. but they had no idea who this boy was, and the way damian was looking into the underground alien sanctuary, that worried rhem. Damian was smart and cunning, but he is able to portray an innocent persona, they all had the habit of undermining his intellect, so if damian began looking into this, it was for a reason

—

• jon found that D rambled. A lot. Even when jon didn’t respond. Jon doesn’t even know how D always found where he was. It’s so weird.

• but Lois noticed a change in jon.. he was. calmer. she didn’t know how, but when he went out, he came back calmer.

“I have to go to Gotham for a gala hosted by Bruce Wayne, would you.. like to come?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I’d like you to, but you don’t have to.”

“.. Fine.”

—

• lois walked to bruce with Jon in tow.

• “bruce.” “Lois, looking lovely as always.. who is this?” “Jon, my son. Say hi, Jon.” “Hi..” “He can hang around one of my sons— Damian, if you want? I’m sure him and his friends would love to have Jon around.” “What do you say Jon? Would you like that?” “Not really..” “I assume you, Damian doesn’t bite. Not anymore. And he’s pretty accepting.” “.. Fine.”

• damian was called over by his father and he did a double take. J. Was here. In front of him. Damian just internally shrugged and held a hand out, “Hi! I’m Damian! Wanna go play with my friends! there’s a game room so we don’t have to be with the gross adults.. you can also just.. sit there. My friends are pretty.. Loud?” “Okay.”

• jon had to take his hand back from damian since damian began eagerly tugging him.

“Damian seems to be accepting him pretty easily.” “I hope they can be friends, Jon.. doesn’t have any. I have only recently got him from his.. father.” “Odd, does he go to school?” “No, not yet, I’m still trying to get him adjusted.” “Ah.. Damian goes to West-Reeves. Maybe he could go there?” “That private school? Bruce.. I cannot afford that- not all of us are millionaires.” “Mhm.. I could pay.” “I can’t let you do that.” “He could get a scholarship.” “In what?” “Academics or athletics.” “Ill.. Talk to him about it. “ “well, ms lane, I just go talk with potential partners, I’ll see you later.”

—

• j got accepted into west reeves under a athletic thingy.

• that was cool. they became best friends!

• sorta

• flashforward 5 years to 15, their dynamic only grew. Damian told Jon his identity, jon didn’t become a hero, but did learn how to stitch damian up because tje idiot showed up bleeding a lot.

• everything was going great

On the phone, Damian: J! J! Guess what’

J: you’re so loud, D, what?

D: I got the lead! In the play!

J: no fucking way?

D: way!

J: Good j—— *crash*

D: J-?

D: J- Jonathan?

D: oh no.

• the call was ended abruptly. Jon always finished his sentences. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong.

• so damian called Lois quickly and ran downstairs to the batcave, lois wasn’t picking up either, she normally always picked up or at least sent a text. She did neither

“Baba!”

“Damian? You should be asleep.”

“Something’s wrong! Somethings really wrong!”

“Jon and Lois- Jon- I heard a crash- and- and”

“Habibi.”

“Mama?”

“Breathe; tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was on a call with Jon.. I told him about the play since I wanted him to go and stuff. Then I heard a crash. And then the line went dead. I’m scared— what if something happened!”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, what happened with Lois?”

“She didn’t pick up the phone— she normally does! Or she texts me and says she will call back!”

“Maybe she is asleep.”

“No! You need to believe me!”

“Damian, calm down, I do, we will go to see if they’re okay, you get back to bed.”

“No. I’m coming with.”

“No you arent.”

“But!”

“Listen to your father.”

• okay fine. He’ll listen, damian went back up to his room for half an hour before calling his friends to do a rescue mission. He had an extra suit in his room, he can do this.

• with his team, it consisted of shazam, abuse, nobody, and green lantern, himself too, of course.

• captain marvel picked him up once he was ready and they met up with the other 3.

Maya: you said he’s in trouble?

Dami: Yes.

Colin: than let’s go save him!

• they went and saved the bestie, nearly got killed too

• oh and now damians sorta probably grounded when batman shows up 🤡

J:You came for me..?

D:We all did.. why are you so surprised?

J: * wraps his arms around damian * thank you

D: i- yeah.. anytime. what’re friends for?

• friends. Jon liked that. Jon also liked the way Damian’s cheeks went red when jon hugged him

• jon knew he chuckled before Damian’s arms wrapped around him. hard. Damian was a hard hugger

• jon became a superhero at 16. Damian had even more of a reason to sneak into his window every night now! Lois had began thinking the two were dating

D: Us? Dating? Please! He is way too good for me!

J:

L: awwww, gosh, how haven’t you been swept off your feet yet?

J: he has, but he has rejected them all

D: what can I say? I’m a gay theater kid ( this is a /j i promise a big big joke ) so they gotta be dramatic enough to put up with me, AND they need to do something big and bold to actually catch my eye

L: *laughs* take notes, jon

J: mom!

• jon has gone to a few of Damian’s plays and to dress rehearsals

• he was also there to watch damian wreck a car during his drivers test

D: there was a fricking squirrel there, J!

J: are you sure? maybe you’re just a shitty driver?

D: you’re a shitty driver!

J: cmon don’t pout

D: ‘m not!

• he was pouting. oopsie. jon did get him ice cream after

• jon goes by abnormal, because he’s an alien and because I don’t have any other ideas

J: this girl asked me out

M: oh? who! tell us!

D: ..what?

J: yeah, in my physics class

T: ooh! get it, jonno

M: give us a name, coward!

J: her name is Charlotte— but she goes by charlie. she’s.. different. red head. pretty freckles—

M: pretty freckles? does Jonny have a crush?! Oh my gosh, our sons growing up, Tai!

T: im about to start sobbing

J: fuck offff— D?

D: huh?

J: you’re being quiet, you plotting??

D: uh. yeah! duh- *he nudged jons shoulder with his, forcing a grin* figuring out ways to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.

J: sucha brat- * jon ended up putting Damian into a playfully chokehold *

• damian just played along. he just smiled and watched as jon began walking with her instead of their friend group

M: hey- kid- you alright?

D: I’m onto a year younger than you Maya.

M: tou didn’t answer the question

D: I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? You’re silly.

• tai ended up pulling him aside

T: when are you going to tell him?

D: how am I supposed to when he basically has a girlfriend now?

T: are you just gonna sit there and pine all day??

D: yes, thank you for understanding

• he’s a stubborn little shit and will absolutely not confess, his best friend is happy, who is he to ruin that?

T: he’s totally jealous.

J: so- do you- do you think it’ll work? That he’ll be surprised?

T: totally

J: thank you for lending me your girlfriend, Maya

M: anytime- not literally- you aren’t having her again

• this was all a trick, sorry, d.. jon does like you

• ( hope you all saw that foreshadowing earlier :) )

• damian needed big and dramatic. jon was gonna do that. even if he was uh. sorta aloof and shy.

• he learned how to sing and play the guitar for Damian. maya and tai were gonna scatter flower petals onto the floor for Damian to follow ( they will tell him too too )

• the whole school will probably watch as Damian finally gets a big dramatic proposal

• damian will love it

M: just follow the petals!

D: I’m confused

M: trust us

• damian did and followed the petals and low and behold, jon kent with a guitar and small smile

D: j-jon?

J: hey. I wrote you a song

D: no you didn’t

J: shut up and listen dumbass

*after that amazing song of how Jon asked damian out to homecoming*

D: that was amazing

J: dramatic enough for you?

D: YES! ( damian went and sprinted to jon, hugging him so tightly before leaning in to kiss him ) we are boyfriends now right

J: yeah, idiot

D: ur the idiot

• I can’t add anymore because myphones really laggy, I hope you enjot

[violetnotez]

In light of our recent conversation...hers a quick Izuku x reader blurb! 

----------------------------------------------

“Awwww Eri-why are you so blsuhy all of a sudden?” you asked the little girl, crouching down to her level.

The poor girl looked so nervous-her cheeks were warm and pink like roses, ears tinged red, eyes dewy and downcast and fingers squirming in front of her. She looked as if she was hiding something, or holding something back....but the little girl was so sweet-what could be bothering her so much?

Eri had just started kindergarten, an accomplishment that was a feat its own considering her past. But she had grown so much, even making friends at her new school. It was so amazing to her succeed so much, and espeically when she practically begged to attend a father daughter dance at her school.

The problem was....the girl didnt have a true father. She had father figures of course, like Aizawa and Present MIc-but when she asked for Mirio to accompany her, no one could say no to her wishes.

Now it was the day of the dance, and you were so excited for her. Aizawa had trusted you and Nijere to dress her up and get her ready as best as you two could- and oh did you pull through. A pretty periwinkle dress Eri herself had picked out, pretty pearls clips gifted to her by you, and even some sheer lipgloss from Nejire, the girl looked so cute you just wanted to scoop her up and squeeze her. Now all you had to do was wait for her “date”, Mirio, who would be arriving at any minute

“I-I-” she stuttered at your question, clearly unknowing of what to say. You smiled at her, placing a hand atop of her tiny ones, her small nails newly painted a shimmery blue.

“You can tell me anything, you know that right?” you said kindly, “I wont judge a single thing you say,”

Eri gave you a wide eyes look, looking almost on the close of tears.

“Are you sure?”

“Im positive,”

“O-okay.....” she whispered, her voice shaky. “Its just-Im-Im nervous....”

“And why is that? Are you worried about dancing? Its okay, nobody is going to be a great dancer, its only for fun-”

“Oh no, I like dancing!” she corrected you quickly, her voice sweet, “It-its just....Mirio makes me-me nervous....”

You cocked your head- Mirio? Mirio was one of her best friends- he came to see her every week, took her out to go play at the playground, see children’s movies at the theater, buy her sweets, basically be the best role model for her....

But then it dawned on you- every time she saw Mirio she was always shy, fighting between hiding or running up to him. She was always red, whether Mirio held her hand to walk down a street or help clean her up after eating a pretty messy ice cream cone. She always wanted Mirio to hug her, and always clinged to him...

“Do you have a crush on Mirio?” you smiled, giving her a knowing expression.

She gave you a confused look. “Whats a- crush?”

You looked up, a small hum coming from your lips. “Its....when you really, really like somebody. You love them alot and want to see them do well. You want them to always be near you, but are always worried youll do soemthing embarrasing..so your blushy or nervous or even stutter over your words.”

“Oh, thats makes sense,” The little girl gulped, her hands wringling in her hand. “M-maybe I do...I-Im worried Ill do something  silly...do you think you could come with me?

You chuckled at the girl, looking into her wide red eyes.

“Oh no, I cant...Id be a third wheeler with you guys!”

Eri’s face dropped, and then suddenly light up.

“Then why dont you bring Deku! You have a crush on him too, right?”

Your breath suddenly felt lost-wait,how did she- know about that?

“Ive seen you get blushy and-and stutter around Deku...and he stuttered and blushes around you! I think you two should come, because you have crushes too!”

You smiled, a nervous chuckle coming from your chest. Geez-this girl was really observant.

[rafecameron]

super spies - r.c

Summary: In which reader follows her boyfriend to try and catch him cheating and Rafe tags along

Word count: 2.3K

A/N: This kinda sucks but im posting it anyways

*GIF is mine*

You were almost one hundred percent sure your boyfriend was cheating on you. You thought it, your friends thought it, but you needed some hard evidence before you broke up with his sorry ass. You didn’t want to throw a two year relationship down the drain over a misunderstanding, though the niggling in your stomach should be proof enough that you were right.

You text him asking him his plans for the day and he replies saying he’s staying home as he’s not feeling well. You already know this is a lie as you’re sat in your car staring at his car from across the road, you were parked close to the town centre. You supposed he really could be ill and he had stopped off to get some medicine, but you highly doubted it.

Getting out of your car you stuff your phone into your bag and head towards the shops, not sure where you would find him but determined to do so. You checked multiple shops, no sign of him in any of them. You sigh audibly to yourself, almost ready to give up before you catch a glimpse of him from across the road. You quickly duck into an alley way, poking your head round to watch where he was going, you saw him disappear into the cafe across the street.

Checking the coast was clear you bolt across the street, sneaking up to the cafe and poking your head round the corner of it to peek through the window, it’s busy inside but you can see him at the counter ordering. He didn’t look very ill to you. You glare through the window at him, watching him smile and chat to the girls behind the counter as he waits for his order, you could feel yourself getting more annoyed by the second. 

You were so engrossed on watching your boyfriends actions that you didn’t notice someone coming up behind you, their head practically touching yours before the finally spoke into your ear, “What are you doing?”

You sucked in a breath of air out of shock and spun round, glaring at the amused person behind you, “What the hell is your problem?” You yell at him, hand over your pounding heart, you quickly look back into the cafe hoping that your yelling hadn’t given away your position. Luckily your boyfriend didn’t seem to have noticed.

“Why are you sneaking around? You’re acting really weird.” Rafe laughs, hands in his shorts pockets as he waits for an answer.

You sigh running a hand through your hair, you quickly grab his arm and pull him out of view of the cafe window, “I’m watching my boyfriend.” You admit, not really sure why you were telling him the truth. Sure, you’d known him your whole life, he was your best friends brother after all, but that didn’t mean you should tell him about your cheating ass of a boyfriend.

Rafe raises an eyebrow at your confession, “That’s a bit stalkerish, don’t you think?” He asks, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“I guess,” You shrug, “But I need to see where he’s going.”

“Why?” Rafe asks, but you don’t have time to answer him as the cafe door swings open and your boyfriend appears, walking in the opposite direction with two coffee cups in his hands.

“Be quiet.” You warn the boy beside you as you head off in the direction your boyfriend was going, you could feel Rafe following behind, you hadn’t actually expected him to tag along.

“What are we? Super spies now?” Rafe laughs behind you but you just slap at his arm and shush him in annoyance.

You follow him into a small park on the outskirts of the town, keeping close to the tree line in hopes that he wouldn’t notice you and Rafe tailing him. You quickly put a hand out to stop Rafe walking as your boyfriend comes to a stop next to a bench, handing one of the drinks to a pretty blonde girl who was sat there. She stands up as he speaks to her pulling him into a hug. His free hand goes to her waist and he leans down and kisses her quick on the lips. 

Your jaw clenches in anger, gripping onto the strap of your bag harshly as you shoot daggers at the pair by the bench, “I knew it.” You said through clenched teeth.

“What a fucking asshole,” Rafe fumes from behind you, “You want me to go beat the shit out of him? Cause I will.”

You glare at them for a moment longer before turning to Rafe, eyes wet mostly from anger and frustration than from hurt, you shake your head. “He really isn’t worth it.” You reply, wiping a tear off of your cheek as you begin to head out of the park.

“You’re not even gonna confront him?” Rafe asks running up behind you, his hand rests lightly on your shoulder and you don’t have the energy to shrug it off.

“No, I’m not. Let him be happy with her, I’m over it.” You huff out, the tears on your face telling a completely different story.

“You don’t look over it.” Rafe comments, falling into step beside you.

“And what would you know about it?” You snap at him, finally pushing his hand off your shoulder.

“I know that there’s a pretty girl in tears beside me because of some absolute tool.” He states, putting his hand back on your shoulder but this time stopping you from walking, “You were right when you said he’s not worth it. He was never good enough for you.”

You scoff and shrug his hand off again, “You don’t have to be nice to me, Rafe. You don’t even know me, you’re talking shit.”

“I don’t know you?” Rafe raises his eyebrows at your statement, “I’ve known you my whole life, Y/N. I know that you spend Saturdays in Sarah’s room eating ice cream and watching shitty girls movies. I know that you broke your arm when you were seven falling off the swing in your garden. I know that when you’re sad and hurt you get angry like you are now. I also know that you’re one of the nicest people on this stupid island and you don’t deserve that asshole hurting you like this.”

You blink up at him, fresh tears falling from your reddening eyes, shocked that he paid any attention to you at all, “Rafe, I-“

“You don’t have to say anything. I get it, I’m your friends asshole older brother and you hate me, but I don’t want to see you like this.” Rafe sighs out.

You take a second to process his words before replying, “I don’t hate you, Rafe. I could never hate you.”

“Yeah? Well then why don't you let me try to cheer you up?” He suggests, smiling now which only served to pull a smile onto your own lips.

“Okay.” You nod, wiping your face free of the last of your tears and following Rafe out of the park which was now your least favourite place on the island.

“So what are we doing?” You ask him after walking in silence the whole way back to the town centre.

“I’m cheering you up.” Rafe states again, “Wait here.” Rafe pulls you to a halt and sits you down on a bus stop bench before disappearing.

You knew you should probably call Sarah and tell her exactly what’s happened, let her come and pick you up and comfort you, but for some reason you were a little excited to be spending the day with Rafe. It was probably best you didn’t tell Sarah about that part. Before long Rafe returned, handing you a cone of ice cream which caused your face to light up.

You took it from him, licking at the cold scoop on top, “This is my favourite flavour.” You state as you begin walking beside him.

“I know.” Rafe states matter of factly.

You eat your ice creams in silence as Rafe leads you to his truck, by the time you climbed into the passenger seat you had finished eating and were curious as to what you were doing next.

“So, what are we doing?” You ask, buckling yourself in and watching Rafe excitedly.

Rafe shrugs, “There’s a couple things we can do. Or I could show you somewhere, if you want?”

You furrow your brows slightly, “Show me somewhere?” You asks and Rafe just nods his head in reply, “Okay, show me.” You smile and nod.

You were expecting the drive to feel awkward, you’d never really been alone with Rafe for more than a few minutes and you were worried you wouldn’t have anything to talk about, but you were worrying for no reason. The Rafe with you today was a side of Rafe that you didn’t see very often. He was friendly and open and extremely funny. He had you in stitches in the passenger seat, making comments about the stupidest things just to hear you laughing.

You were almost upset when the truck came to a stop and it was time to get out, “I could drive round with you all day.” You admit, a slight blush on your cheeks at you confession.

“Well we can do that next then.” Rafe smiles as he climbs out of his truck.

The devastation from early this morning was completely gone from your mind as you followed Rafe, the area he had brought you to looked a little run down, somewhere between figure eight and the cut, not somewhere you expected Rafe Cameron would hang out. 

He reaches out and grabs your hand, “Watch where you’re stepping.” He warns you as he leads you off the path and into a wooded area, still gripping tightly onto your hand.

“Is this where you murder me and bury my body?” You ask playfully, eyes on the ground as you follow his steps so as not to fall over the many branches scattered across the floor.

“Am I that easy to read?” Rafe asks with a chuckle.

When Rafe’s feet stop walking in front of you you look up, peeking round from behind him, “Is this-wow.” You cut yourself off, fully stepping out from behind him, “This place is beautiful.” You comment, stepping in front of him to get a better look.

He’d brought you to the tiniest cove you had ever seen, the sand stretching no more than fifteen feet either way, rocks lining the edge of the sand and trees bunching together behind you. The ocean looked bluer her, like that pale blue water you imagine in exotic places and it lapped gently at the sand.

“How did you find this place?” You asked, finally turning away from the view to look at the boy behind you.

Rafe shrugs, “Needed to get away one day, somehow found this place. I come here whenever I need to be alone.” He admits.

“Thank you, for bringing me.” You smile, “I promise I wont keep turning up and ruining your peace.” You laugh gently.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Rafe admits, he moves to sit down in the sand and you follow suit, sitting beside him and looking out across the water.

“It’s so peaceful here, I can see why you come.” You mumble out, fingers burying themselves in the sand.

You spent the whole day in that cove with Rafe, laughing, messing around, having heart to hearts. You never imagined Rafe would have such a soft side to him, you were sure he would never want anyone else to find out.

“Are you cold?” Rafe asks, reaching over and wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side, you smile up at him appreciatively before looking back out across the ocean at the sun set, pink and orange glowing across the glittering water.

“Would you call me crazy if I said considering I caught my boyfriend cheating on me this morning I’ve had the best day ever?” You laugh softly at how stupid that sounded.

Rafe shrugged lightly, “I wouldn’t call you crazy. I’d just say you’ve learnt he was an ass who isn’t worth shit and moved on pretty quickly, it’s admirable.”

You look over at the boy sat next to you, “You think I’m admirable?” You ask.

Rafe’s eyes meet yours, the sunset casting an orange glow across his skin, “I think you’re incredibly strong, I always have.” Rafe admits.

You smile softly and don’t stop yourself when you feel yourself leaning forward, you rest a hand against his chest as your lips meet his. The kiss was soft and gently and didn’t last nearly as long as you would have liked it.

“I’m sorry-“ You start.

“Don’t me.” Rafe cuts you off, his hand coming up to the side of your face and pulling your lips against his again, this time with kiss was longer, his lips pressed against yours with more pressure. Before you knew it you were laid back against the sand, Rafe’s body hovering over yours as you got lost in the feeling of your lips together.

That’s how you spent the rest of the night, laying in the sand, pressing kisses against each others lips, noses, foreheads, cheeks. Lost in the feeling of each other and not caring about anything else, not needing anything more.

From that day onwards that became your spot. It’s where you held most of your dates, having picnics and drinks by the sea, it’s the first place you slept with Rafe and the first place you shared I love you’s and you couldn’t be more thankful to your ex for giving you the opportunity to let Rafe into your heart.

[virtueangel]

limitless.

chapter one. 

wc: 2,034. original publish date: october 1, 2020.

Winter seems to drag on this year, pushing back Spring farther and farther until it steps off the chessboard of seasons completely. It's early April, but there is still snow piled up on the sidewalks, filling in the cracks of the concrete squares and melting into slush on the smooth surface. John F. Kennedy and Cleopatra walk down the sidewalk now, grasping hands dearly so as not to slip on the melted snow. Cleo is bundled up tightly in a black cardigan, John's varsity letterman jacket draped on top for extra warmth. She huddles close to the boy as she walks, trying to bask in some of the natural body heat wafting off of him. They like to walk in silence -- sometimes it's easier that way. Their questions don't have to be answered if they're never asked. But sometimes, the burden of carrying around the question is greater than the weight of hearing the answer.

"Why don't you ever take me on real dates, John?" Cleo asks in her shrill voice, almost whining.

"I don't know why you'd want me to, Cleo," he replies coolly, still grasping her hand. She wears elegant black gloves which hug her lean fingers fittingly. The cashmere is smooth and inviting against John's palm.

"Because some girls like romance, John."

"I thought you liked making out with me."

"I do!" She relaxes her hand, still holding onto John but not as violently. "But I don't feel like your girlfriend when I'm being shoved into a closet. I just feel like a pair of breasts and an open mouth."

John stares ahead nonchalantly. "That's because you're not my girlfriend, Cleo."

She lets go of his hand completely and scoffs. She shoves her own hands into her pockets -- John's pockets -- and watches her feet on the sidewalk. Her shiny black boots tick against the pavement, her movements slow and even steadier now that she doesn't have the boy's support. "Some girls like being girlfriends, too."

John sighs, shaking his head in exasperation. "We've been over this, Cleo. I don't date, but you like me and you're hot."

Cleo clenches her jaw. "That's a shitty thing to say, JFK. Don't you like me, too?"

JFK shrugs. "I like your ass."

The girl rolls her eyes, quickening her pace to walk in front of John. She slows down again, realising that the bottoms of her new boots are too slippery to risk a pace faster than normal. "Whatever. We're almost to my house anyway."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

Cleo lets out a huff before grabbing onto JFK for support again. She wraps her gloved hands around the loop his arm makes as it sticks out of his pocket. "I'm not gonna argue with you when we're right on the verge of a make-out session," she says.

"I thought you didn't want to be used for your body."

She shrugs before giving the shameless answer, "I don't, but you give exceedingly good head."

John F. Kennedy smirks. "Oh, you bet I do."

Cleo blushes, and tries to hide her face from John.

"But I can't today."

“What?” She asks. “Why?”

"Because I've got a lot of homework," he says, knowing it's a half-assed excuse.

Cleopatra turns to him, her eyebrow raised. "You don't do homework, John."

"I have to help Van Gogh today," John explains.

"Van Gogh?" Cleo repeats. John nods. "He needs your help?"

John rolls his eyes impatiently, wondering why Cleo can't seem to get it. Wondering why everything about her is so superficial that she can't understand that he has a best friend; why she isn't the only one who matters. "No, he doesn't need my help, he just doesn't like being alone on Friday nights."

"Neither do I," Cleo protests, batting her eyes desperately. She means the action to come off as flirty, but she knows she's going to lose this fight.

"So call some of your other friends. Abe, Joan-"

"Abe Lincoln and Joan of Arc are both cool enough to have plans on a Friday night," she combats.

JFK smirks. "Surely you won't let them be cooler than you."

Before Cleo can protest, they are walking up her driveway, her hands still wrapped around his arm. John walks her up the three steps to her front stoop, whirling her around so her back is to the door and her face is to him. He holds her gloved hands delicately, pretending to feel bad about blowing off his hot not-girlfriend to go spend time with his emotionally deprived best friend. It does sound depressing and lame when he hears it in his own head, but there's no going back now.

"Call me tonight?" Cleo asks, the slightest hint of a beg in her voice. She tries to hide it again under a flirtatious lilt, but it falls flat for the second time this afternoon. Cleo already knows what JFK is going to say.

"I never call, Cleo. People who are dating call, and I-"

Cleo cuts him off with an exasperated eye roll. "-don't date. I know."

"So why did you ask?"

Cleo shrugs. "I don't know. But I'm going now."

Nonetheless, she steps toward John for her expected kiss. He leans down to give her one, as per their afternoonly routine, but it doesn't bury itself as deep as usual. John keeps his mouth closed, despite Cleo's best efforts to engage him in the endeavour. When she realises her plan isn't going to work, she pulls away and scrambles into her house, swiftly shutting the door behind her to close off her embarrassment from the rest of the world. She has enough to worry about it seeping through the cracks.

***

JFK knocks on his best friend's door nearly ten minutes later, his feet sopping wet in his tennis shoes. He'd made a mistake when dressing that morning. He could see the snow intruding the sidewalk from his bedroom window, but he'd still opted for his sneakers, full of breathable holes and heat-accommodating fabrics. His big toe feels like it could snap off at any moment. He thinks if he were to take off his cotton sock and look at it, his toe would be blackened with the final stages of frostbite.

Vincent Van Gogh answers the door himself, wrapped in a fleece blanket and feet smothered in three layers of sock. Kennedy can't help but feel a little bit jealous, sure his toes are nice and cozy in their thick woollen fortress.

"JFK," Van Gogh greets the boy, standing aside to let him through the door. Van Gogh wonders how Kennedy ever could've noticed him at school; he stands at 5'5” while the varsity cross country runner was 6'1" last time he measured. Van Gogh is often a traffic cone to be tripped over.

"Sorry I'm so late. Cleo was bitching at me," JFK apologises.

"That's okay. I'm used to being alone," Van Gogh shrugs.

"But I know you especially hate Friday nights. You hate when there are sports games because the town gets loud and the drunken yelling echoes through the neighbourhood, bouncing off of the shingles and spinning like tops in your ears -- ear."

Van Gogh scoffs. "Spare me the poetry, Kennedy. You don't need to romanticise my mental illness, okay? It's not fucking fun."

"I thought you liked all that flowery prose -- all that girly shit."

The shorter boy shakes his head, feeling even smaller under Kennedy's scrutiny. "Don't talk down to me. And just because literature is written like a painting doesn't mean it's 'girly'. You like my artwork, don't you?"

"I like the one you did for AP art last year... the self-portrait."

Van Gogh smiles internally, secretly pleased with his best friend's answer. "I never thought I'd get a real compliment out of you, Kennedy."

"I compliment you!" He protests.

Van Gogh shakes his head, still wearing his smile. His lips are like daisies soaked in blood -- full and dripping. "Not without coating it in some condescending insult."

"Whatever, Gogh. You didn't want to be alone, and I'm here. So what now?"

"Well, so long as I'm holding you hostage, you may as well do some homework."

"I don't do homework," JFK reminds him.

Van Gogh smirks. "I know that, Kennedy. I just had to remind you of your morals before you go off and give me an honest compliment again. Weirds me out when you go soft, even for me."

JFK follows Van Gogh to his bedroom. The hallway walls are oddly bare and would go without notice if they hadn't been painted a murky blue. No pictures are hung, which strikes Kennedy as uncomfortably odd every time he visits his best friend's house. JFK's dads have hundreds of pictures of him stuffed into each nook and cranny of their house -- it's striking to see a pair of parents who care so little about documenting their child's early years.

Gogh pushes open the door to his room tentatively, almost as if he's scared there'll be an apparition seated on his bed. He shudders at the thought, trying to shake it off by opening the door all the way. He sits on a chair instead of the bed, nervous to accidentally sit on top of the ghost and give it a perfect chance to tunnel its way up into his organs. JFK notices the boy's shuddering and raises an eyebrow, taking note of the closed window and the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Who knew such a small boy could be so hopeless at keeping warm?

"Cold?" Kennedy asks, and Van Gogh looks up from the spot on his hand where he'd been anxiously picking at a scab. "And don't do that; the skin's almost healed," he adds.

Van Gogh narrows his eyes at the boy on his bed. "Since when do you care whether or not my scabs are healed?"

JFK shrugs, nervous to admit that he feels like he has to care since his friend's parents so obviously don't.

"Sorry I snapped," Van Gogh covers quickly. "Reflex."

Kennedy nods dismissively as if to show that he understands.

A couple seconds tick by, filling the room like a hose in a swimming pool. The time collects in the bedroom, spilling into every corner and fault line crack of the walls. It begins to overflow, and that's when Van Gogh can't stand the silence anymore. He invited Kennedy over so he wouldn't have to drown in stillness. Why can't JFK talk, dammit? Why is he so self-absorbed that he can't carry on a conversation for longer than five minutes at a time?

"Do you wanna read a book?" Van Gogh suggests, but it comes out in an urgent blurt. Maybe that's for the best. It gets Kennedy's attention.

"I don't read books."

Van Gogh rolls his eyes, cheeks burning a violent fire from embarrassment. "That's because you don't have the attention span to," he spits. "I could read it to you."

JFK's head snaps up. Gogh's cheeks darken an even deeper shade of red and he can feel his heartbeat in his face. Fuck, he thinks. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Okay," Kennedy says at last. "Read me a bedtime story." His overconfident, annoyingly-flirty tone is back, and Van Gogh smiles in relief. The blood drains from his cheeks and his heartbeat follows, little by little.

He excuses himself from his chair to slide a book off of his shelf. Kennedy lies down on the bed, his head on the pillow and his too-long legs spilling over the edge. "Give me a blanket," he demands, clearly serious about the "bedtime" thing. Van Gogh rolls his eyes, but fishes a blanket out of his bottom dresser drawer and throws it over to Kennedy nonetheless. JFK has just finished unfolding the blanket and throwing it over himself when Van Gogh settles back into his chair, lifting the cover of the book with his long fingers gingerly. His nails grow out past his fingertips which is normally a girlish look, but Kennedy can't help but wash his eyes over the boy's hands anyway. It doesn't look girlish on Van Gogh. Nothing looks girlish on Van Gogh.

[dharc16]

10 WAYS TO CELEBRATE THE AUTUMN EQUINOX

The Autumnal Equinox is the time of year when daylight and nighttime are equal. After the Autumnal Equinox, the darkness will begin to win the battle, gaining an extra minute or so every day as we progress towards winter. Now is the time when nature begins to slow and the harvests become less plentiful. Though the autumn equinox can arrive as early as September 20th or 21st depending on solar patterns, this year it falls on September 22nd. So get ready to celebrate!

Like most Sabbats that are celebrated later in the year, the autumn equinox is about reflection and letting go of that which does not serve us any longer. It's a chance to slough off the old and prepare for rest. We clean out that which piled up during the business of summer and store up that which we will need for our winter rest. The colors of the Autumn Equinox are just as rich and warming as the colors of autumn—deep crimson, vibrant orange, lustrous gold, and earthy brown. If you're planning a feast, make sure to include all the fall bounties as well as late summer fruits and vegetables. Pumpkin, squash, berries, nuts, and corn are all fantastic inclusions. Looking for specific ideas on how to celebrate the Autumn Equinox without costing a mint? You've come to the right place! Here are 10 wonderful ways to celebrate for free or for little cost!

MAKE POPCORN

What's more cozy than snuggling under a blanket with a big bowl of buttered popcorn? Of course, you could always watch a movie, but why not take your treat outside to watch nature instead? Inhale that fragrant autumn air. Really take a few moments to appreciate the breathtaking hues of the trees. Watch the birds and squirrels as they prepare for winter. Simply take in the magnificence of the season. And if you're in a generous mood, leave a few un-buttered pieces of popcorn for the critters.

BALANCE YOUR CHAKRAS 

The Autumn Equinox is a time to find balance in your life. But while we tend to immediately think of time constraints as a place to find balance (work versus family time, family time versus self-care), when was the last time you balanced your spiritual centers?If you're not familiar, chakras are points of energy on the body that have spiritual as well as physical impact. When they are balanced, life is good. When they are imbalanced, we have unwanted manifestations, such as illness and financial troubles. The good news is balancing them is as simple as taking a few minutes for visualization! Like any visualization, chakra balancing gets easier with practice, so don't feel discouraged if you have trouble focusing during your first go around or two. A nice, simple chakra meditation can be found on YouTube. Get a blanket, find a quiet spot under a tree, and take some time to balance your chakras this Mabon! You'll be glad you did. Bonus points if you plant your feet in the soil and get your earthing on!

HAVE A PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE

Admittedly, this suggestion is a little self-benefiting. But what's autumn without a warm drink laced with cinnamon and nutmeg? You can certainly buy one at your favorite coffee shop, but why not make one? I'm betting you already have the ingredients on hand. Take the time to really savor the process. Inhale the nutty aroma of the coffee before you brew it. Watch as the creamer turns your drink into a rich caramel color. Savor the first sip without scarfing down the entire drink. Life is a lot more pleasurable when we take time to relish the things we enjoy. Sit outside with your homemade brew, breathe deep inhalations of that luscious autumn air, and simply BE.

FOCUS ON GRATITUDE AND THANKSGIVING

With Autumn Equinox being a time of reflection and balance, what better way to celebrate than to make a list for all that you are thankful for? Take a notebook to the park and make a list of everything you appreciate—from big things, like your family or health, to small things, like hot cocoa and fuzzy slipper socks. Feeling crafty? Make a gratitude tree! Simply find a funky fallen twig that has lots of little branchy offshoots to hold your leaves. Place the twig (or twigs) in a pot of stones so it's standing upright, like a miniature dead tree. Collect fallen leaves or cut your own from construction paper. Write something you're grateful for on each leaf. Tape on a loop of string or thread, and hang the leaves from your twig! Beauty and function— my favorite!And remember, crafts don't need to be limited to children. Our children are grown and gone, yet we make a gratitude tree every year for Thanksgiving by adding one leaf a day for each day in November leading up to the big feast! Festiveness isn't just reserved for those too young to drive. Embrace life! Live it with all you've got! And don't forget to be grateful!

BRING IN SOME NATURE 

If you're anything like me, you're just itching to get something decorative in your home this fall. We don't really get in to decorating for Halloween with ghosts and goblins because we don't celebrate the way that most people in America do. We celebrate it the Christian way, not the pagan way. Why not take a nature walk and collect whatever beautiful, natural treasures you stumble upon? Colored leaves. Acorns. Gnarled twigs. Pine cones. Cool rocks. Bring a bag and collect whatever catches your eye. Arrange it on a table or counter top when you get home, throw in a candle or two (maybe gold and red) and you've got yourself an instant natural Mabon altar! You can even leave your natural masterpiece up for a few weeks as a spectacular (and FREE!) fall decoration!

WELCOME IN THE DARKNESS 

As the sun sets on the Autumn Equinox, we welcome in the darkness of the coming season. Grab a blanket, some lawn chairs, and allow yourself to be fully in the moment as the sun sets this equinox. Once the orange globe has dipped below the horizon, breathe in the darkness of fall and honor the tranquil introspection this season inspires. With tea, of course!

BRING ON THE COZY 

Having spent most of my life in Texas, what I miss most about autumn is the coziness. Soft sweaters. Knitted throws. Hot drinks. Crisp morning air. Chilly noses on rainy days. Envelop yourself in the coziness of autumn, even if, like here in Texas, you are still running the air conditioner and suffering in 90 degree weather. Whether that means decorating your home in autumnal flare, lighting a pumpkin-spice candle, or baking a cinnamon-scented apple pie, do something special that puts you in that autumn state of mind.

TAKE IT IN

The best part of autumn is undoubtedly the simplicity. Life seems to slow down just a little, following the graceful dance of nature herself. Take the time to slowdown alongside her. Treat yourself to a pumpkin latte, head over to your favorite park or even your own backyard, and just exist. Watch the passersby as you sip your drink. Observe the colors of autumn, the slight crisp that's beginning to blossom in the air, the chatter of birds as they prepare for winter. Breathe deep. Slow your mind. Just exist. It's something we don't do often enough, but fall is most definitely the time for it!

FIND BALANCE

 Whether autumnal or vernal, equinoxes are the perfect opportunity to find balance, just like nature! If you've been doing a little too much of anything—eating, working, worrying, whatever!—now is the time to take a step back and evaluate how to change your behavior in favor of a more healthy approach. Remember, anything in excess is damaging. Even drinking too much water will kill you.I know! Crazy, right?!If you find it difficult to disconnect from work. If your vice is copious amounts of sugar. If exercise has become obsessive. If spending has exceeded income, take the time to make positive changes. NOT to belittle and berate yourself. NOT to feel guilty and swim among the self-loathing waters. Objectively look at the situation, find a reasonable solution, and make changes. Shame doesn't fix the problem. It's a warning bell that alerts us to the need for change. Nothing more. Take a deep breath of that fresh autumn air and start again. You've got this!

CINNAMON FLAMES

Autumn seems to bring out the craving for bonfires and campfires. If you're lighting one up this Autumn Equinox, toss in a couple of cinnamon sticks for good luck in the coming season. Plus your backyard will smell heavenly!

Whether you use this time to reflect or to indulge, I hope you have a spectacular Autumn Equinox celebration filled with love, coziness, and an extra dash of magic! BLESSED BE!