#i just wish the community was more active and creating like the others got

[jrueships]

i wish more ppl watched the kinda shows i do but also have the similar humor i do :(

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up

[badaseyebags]

🌊 summoning all the bada lovers 🐳

hi sea pookies, please spare me 2 minutes of your precious time to hear me out no this isn’t a thirst post 😞 lately i’ve been reminiscing of the times when i got promoted from being a reader to a writer.. the times where the fandom was at its peak of activity and how excited i was to log in and read all the new posts and take a break from my daily routine. i would like to ask all of you reading this to help me bring a new era, one where we can all interact, make friends and support each other. not just us as writers but also you guys as readers. i know it can be scary to reach out sometime, but receiving feedback is so rewarding and keeps us motivated to keep writing. it’s really fascinating how exciting something as little as getting an ask in our inboxes can make our day, how it can push us to create more content knowing someone is reading it, and actually enjoys it. and that’s the whole reason we do it. unfortunately lots of og writers left due to the fandom dying/ the lack of interactions, as well as some drama. but we also gained many new great writers and fans, so i know we can bring it back to life and make it even better. it would mean a lot to me if we all, readers, writers and also just bada’s fans in general got together and made it happen. i want all of us to feel comfortable reaching out and communicate more, even if just as anons, you’re seen and appreciated. we’re all on the same boat here, no matter where our final destination is.. we can make great memories that we will one day happily look back at. so let’s make this a safe place for everyone. that’s my christmas wish / goal for our little sea nation. our little getaway from our daily lives, stress and icky realities..

bada’s fandom era 2.0 here we go!!

[sdtopaz]

I need to get some stuff off my chest about Arcane as I believe some fans of the show have fogged up about some of the themes and characters and I at least want to give some nuance and my own opinion.

Disclaimer: Just because I’m criticising some of your favorite characters, doesn’t mean I hate or dislike them.

1.Loris has done some fucked up stuff, regardless of what you may say about the character, whether or not you love his character. I’ve seen some posts about how Loris walked away from being an enforcer when fascism started being implemented into Piltover around when martial law was put down against the nation of Zaun, though yes he did walk away and I do commend him for that, he did actively participate in Police brutality and the gassing of Zaun individuals. Police brutality is inherently fascist and he was within the system that actively produced as in my opinion the whole fascism theme of Arcane didn’t start with Ambessa instating Martial law, it started with Caitlyn discovering her mothers ventilation invention for the nation of Zaun to have clean air and weaponised it against them. I like Loris as a character and I wished we got some more backstory on him but regardless I feel like this should be stated.

2.Vi was also a participant in Police Brutality even if she uses the excuse of that it was just trying to get people of the streets so they could search for Jinx, she still was hurting the people of Zaun -her own people might I add- and that regardless it’s not a good thing, we don’t even know the full effects of the grey as it’s been noted to make people have difficulties with breathing and damages the eyes so for all we know some people might have permanent damage from this gas. Vi out of every group of people should’ve been with the Firelights as I believe that would've been the most healthiest place to recover as she’s definitely someone who needs rest.

3.I think out of every character that had the right idea about Zaun I think it’s Ekko and Sevika. Though I think Silco did care about the nation of Zaun but, that man was creating monsters and addicts out of the shimmer that he was managing whilst also working with Singe, Vander to me was a bit too passive and was trying to avoid violence at all cost even though we’ve seen throughout history that it doesn’t work and can cause even more problems. Ekko on the other hand is the most morally correct person, he built a utopia for families and recovering shimmer addicts with food, water, creativity and care. I think if anyone was going to create a nation of Zaun into a Utopia of independence, it would be Ekko. More on Sevika now, I think Sevika followed Vander and Silco because she aligned with their views at some point, but then their own personal beliefs got in the way of actually giving independence to Zaun. I also think that just because Sevika paralleled Vander doesn’t mean she regrets getting rid of him/killing him. On the other side I think she only stuck with Silco for that long is because though Silco was doing fucked up things, he at least had a lot of power over Zaun and therefore was the closest to gaining it’s independence. For Sevika, Zaun always comes first

-One thing I wanted to say as well because a friend mentioned it to me is that, Zaun under the leadership of Vander was a lot more controlled and felt more like a community, but the problem was that nothing changed under Vander’s leadership, on the other hand Silco had power and with him Zaun did change but, it wasn’t controlled and Silco was more of a Mafia boss than a leader and without him -with the damage he caused- the formation of mobs and gangs became more common. With Vander it was controlled and communal, but with a lack of change, Whilst Silco things did change but it’s more of they changed for the worse rather than the better and it was more unstable with it’s infighting.

4.I wished Ekko would’ve seen what Vi was doing when she became an enforcer because that would’ve been interesting to see.

5.I personally believe that the reason why Sevika started to care for Jinx more after Silco’s death is because. One Jinx has someone to care for that might push her to go for Zaun’s independence and betterment. Two that Jinx proved to her that she’s not just a force of chaos and destruction because she rebuilt Sevika’s arm even if it has her own flare to it. Three because technically (despite Jinx’s refusal) they both have to pick up the pieces of Zaun that Silco left behind. Four that Jinx is willing to go far enough for a specific goal, and that there’s some usefulness to that, but all Jinx needs is for that energy to be focused on Zaun.

6.I saw some people blaming Ekko (when he was a kid) for everything starting in the first place, even though in the alternative universe, Powder, Claggor, Milo and Vi were all sent on the exact same mission so it could’ve gone in any direction but yeah sure blame the kid.

7.I did not care about the black rose and felt it was awkwardly placed and I can’t explain why, but it just feels wrong. It wasn't as impactful as I'm guessing it's supposed to be.

8.Sevika should’ve been given more to do with Jinx and way more character development

9.I wish Caitlyn’s rise into dictatorship was handled better and was longer, it felt like a complete 180 to me when she made this plan all of a sudden even if it was because of Vi explaining that she was there in Viktor’s village to get Vander back.

10. The sex scene between Vi and Caitlyn should’ve been longer because that short snippet of it didn’t really feel that special and intimate to me(btw I’m acespec this is purely for story reasons).

11.A reminder that people like Caitlyn do exist, I have met people like Caitlyn who make a small step in progress to being more accepting of people but, if you don’t praise them or even call them out on some of their bullshit then they will just revert back to their dehumanising behaviour.

12.Though the relationship between Ekko and Powder gives a good amount of impact, the scenes between Jinx and Ekko that were cut I feel as though undermines the moments with Ekko and Powder and Timebomb as a ship but with the time they’ve given us I still think it’s great overall.

13. People thinking that Maddy was going to be a good person despite the fact that she didn't see vi as a person of Zaun because of her going against Silco and also that she easily accepted a clearly human rights violating law, I think didn’t watch the show closely enough. (Side note I changed this part because Maddy's not the child of the corrupt police captain as I've been told in the replies, but I still think there's enough to call out Maddy defenders)

I think that’s most of my ramblings and thoughts out in the open, one more thing I wanted to say is that I feel as though the autonomy and faults of the characters are being taken away from them when that shouldn't be the case and the idea of nuance and not seeing the grey has caused problems in real life.

[raplinesmoon]

Après Moi, Le Deluge (JHS x F!Reader)

pairing: Hoseok x afab!reader genres/au/rating: angst, smut, some fluff, mafia au, sort of arranged marriage au, exes au, 18+ summary: It was one night. One night where Hoseok sought refuge from the storm outside, from the life he led, from the past that haunted him. And where else does fate lead him but back into your arms?

word count: 8.2k

warnings: the mafia, mentions minor character death, cursing, smoking, alcohol use, use of weapons, strained relationships with parents, mental health issues, mentions threats against people Hoseok cares about, brief, non-graphic depiction of blood and injuries, breakups, makeups, a cameo by one Xu Minghao, Hoseok and OC are both very closed off and bad at communicating, Hoseok is lowkey an asshole for most of this, happy-ish ending, smut warnings: making out, fingering (fem receiving), nipple play, unprotected sex, marking, teeny bit of cockwarming

a/n: Hello it is me, profusely apologising because there is no reason this should have taken this long to write, other than I had the worst case of writer's block ever, but I missed Hoseok and I needed to see this through. This fic is set in the same universe as Doom Boy, my Namjoon mafia fic! You don't necessarily have to read Doom Boy to read this, but it may help some of the moments mentioned here make sense! The title is a reference to a famous saying by King Louis XV of France, or if you're me, season 1 episode 11 of The Originals. I hope you all enjoy <3

listen to the playlist here!

The rain slams down on the pavement, rendering the soles of Hoseok’s shoes even more sodden than they’d previously been. A cold, sticky feeling settles across his spine, and he heaves for breath, wishing he could just stop and take a break. But he can’t. He has to keep moving. Resisting the urge to shiver and warm himself up, he rounds the corner.

The day had started off normal enough. Hoseok had been assigned patrol duty for the day by Namjoon, a task he was more than familiar with. After the collapse of the Kim empire and his father’s death, Namjoon had returned to clean up the family business. And he was doing a damn good job at it, training the younger ones like Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook in how to run a business.

But there was more to this than a business, and Namjoon knew that well enough. Someone had to be around to air out the dirty laundry, to clean up the streets. And who better for the job than Hoseok? 

He was used to it anyway, more comfortable around knives and guns than he’d ever been around people who weren’t Namjoon, Yoongi, or Seokjin. It was partly the reason he’d been sent out tonight, to monitor the slimy activities that took place under the cover of night. 

Yet sometimes, the downpour got the best of Hoseok. He hadn’t been expecting the Choi cronies to spot him, much less for them to be armed. Luckily they were as thick-skulled as Hoseok expected them to be, and he’d been able to craft a quick escape. For the time being.

But it wouldn’t last for long. Hoseok knew the men would be on his tail all night, and as much as he wanted to call for backup, he didn’t feel like bothering Namjoon, Yoongi, or their families, at this time of night. He wouldn’t have had a problem bothering Seokjin, but that fucker had run the moment he’d shot up Namjoon’s father. 

Looking around, he falters. The buildings around him loom ominously, stretching much taller than he’s used to, the lights from the highest floors creating artificial stars against the cloudy backdrop of the sky. Hoseok gathers that he must be in the swanky part of town. He scoffs, knowing from personal experience the rich were no better than the mobs and gangs they pretended to look down upon, licking at their bootstraps whenever the necessity arose.

Still, he decides it’s better to take cover. He spots the sleeping security guard from outside one of the buildings, and slips in, shaking the raindrops from his hair. Making his way to the elevators at the end of the lobby, his mind ran with plans of how he’d clean up the mess with the Choi men in a way that Namjoon would approve of. 

Which is why he misses the other person entering the elevator at the same time as him, instead collapsing against the railing and letting out a loud sigh, rubbing at his eyes.

“H-Hoseok?” the voice that calls out to him is quiet, barely above a whisper. But its familiarity sends a chill down Hoseok’s spine. It’s a voice he thought he’d never hear again.

His eyes open slowly, and he sees his shocked reflection mirrored in the ones directly across from him, eyes that he’d never been able to forget. The way they look at him now is the same way they’d been the last time he saw you, on a similarly cloudy day.

The eyes of his former fiancée.

The doors of the elevator screech shut, the sound doing nothing to drown out the pounding of your heart. The soft tiny plops of raindrops echo on the grey floor, falling from Hoseok’s hair as he freezes at the sound of your voice.

You suck in a breath, lungs desperately searching for air, unable to squeak out anything beyond his name. Brows furrowing, you check him for any signs of injury, relieved when you find nothing but his blank eyes blinking back at you. You didn’t have to ask him where he’d been tonight. Both of you already knew.

It infuriates you that even after everything, after all this time, he still manages to have this effect on you. You hate how you can’t take your eyes off the lean curve of his neck, or the tiny mole above his heart-shaped smile.

A chill runs down your spine, despite having never stepped foot out in the rain. 

“Why are you…” your throat feels heavy, struggling to get the words out, to ask him why he ended up here of all places. Especially when you made it clear you never wanted to see him again after the last time.

“Choi’s men were tailing me, I had to get them off my back,” he barks, immediately regretting his harsh tone when he looks into your weary eyes, on the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry,” he adds on, more gently this time. “If I’d have known, I would never…”

Never what? Never managed to infiltrate the one place you thought you could be free of him, from the past the two of you shared?

Your shoulders slump against the panel, and you realize you’d never pressed the button to go up, too consumed by his presence. Finally managing to muster up the focus, you turn away, hearing the elevator creak to life.

“You’re always sorry. How can I be sure that this time, you mean it?”

Hoseok is annoyed. First of all, this damn elevator is taking nearly too long to go anywhere, and he longs for escape from this metallic box that’s imprisoning you both. Second of all, your words cut at him, sharper than any knife and hotter than any bullet any of Choi’s men could have sent his way tonight.

As far as he remembers, you’d been the one to end it. You’d been the one to walk away from your arrangement.

He doesn’t know why he grits his teeth, biting down to combat the throbbing pain in his temples. You were supposed to be gone, your goodbye delivered in the same way the designer bags and packages piled up at your doorstep - neat, polished, shallow, the ties that had brought you together unraveling before they’d even had a chance to be joined properly. 

Unfinished business. That’s what you were. And Hoseok hated unfinished business. But somehow, he’d never managed to hate you. You’d never given him a fair chance.

. . .

Hoseok shrugged the wife beater over his head with a grunt, immediately turning around to see if he’d woken up his sleeping companion, but she remained unfazed, her soft snores echoing into the pillow. 

He lets his eyes linger over her body appreciatively one last time before he slips on his leather jacket and is out the door. For a brief moment, his hand twitches, yearning to reach into his pocket and call Namjoon for old times’ sake, detailing every last detail of his lascivious romp. The thought is abandoned immediately, Hoseok’s mood souring at the thought of his former best friend. Namjoon had no trouble leaving all of them behind, so why should he even bother? Instead, he reaches into his other pocket, his frenzied emotions finally calming down when he pulls out the lighter. Ducking under an awning, he checks his surroundings for anything suspicious before affirming that the coast is clear, lighting up and taking a drag. The smoke drifts away on the nighttime breeze, and Hoseok follows, roaming the city streets. 

It’s lonely at this hour, not another soul in sight, but Hoseok prefers it that way. Gone are the days when he and his friends would run through the city, stealing cars and honking horns at everyone for fun. Now, shit had hit the fan big time, and there was no room for fun anymore. With Namjoon gone, Hoseok, along with Seokjin and Yoongi, had been sucked into the tangled web of duties he’d left behind, each stepping up in their own way.

Holding a gun in his hands for the first time had been a sobering experience for Hoseok. It rattled him that if he pressed down on the trigger, so many things could change in a split second. He’d heard the higher-ups in the organization rave with glee about how much fun it was putting the city’s other families in line, Namjoon’s father at the head of them. And for a brief moment, Hoseok understood what it was that Namjoon had run away from. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still pissed off about it though. 

His lips turn up in a smile when he takes in the graffiti on the building in front of him, thinking back to his younger, more rebellious self, before faltering. Someone else was there. 

He wonders if you’re cold, the thin satin gown doing nothing to protect you from the chill, and he wants to laugh at the contrast between his well-worn leather jacket and the jewels dripping from your ears. They must cost a few thousands of dollars, money he’d never had in his pocket. His eyes scan around for someone, anyone – a boyfriend, or a husband maybe. But you’re alone.

Nobility has never been Hoseok’s forte - Namjoon and Seokjin had always been the womanizers, and poor Yoongi had been in love with the same woman for over ten years, but he clears his throat, prompting you to turn around, eyes widening at your company.

If he catches a glimpse of unshed tears in your eyes, he doesn’t say anything. 

“Kids these days, huh? They’ll do anything to cause a little chaos,” he quips, a sinking feeling building up in his chest when you don’t respond.

“Ma’am,” he grapples with whether he should ask for your name, “do you need me to walk you home?”

“Did you read it?” your voice is quieter than he expects, yet he draws closer, wanting to hear more of it. Coming to stand beside you, he takes in the captivating features of your face, made all the more alluring by the shadows cast across them.

Following your gaze, he looks at the mural on the wall. A giant wave, Hosukai-style, crashing into a set of words. “After me, the flood,” your voice whispers, and Hoseok feels a rush of emotion at the way you say it, his mind circling back to everything that had happened in the past few years - the dark cloud that had settled over all their lives with Namjoon leaving, the city’s underbelly coming to life, crawling out of the woodwork. 

“I have to go,” you interrupt him, heels clacking against the pavement, before Hoseok’s gaze turns sharply on you, the desperation in his eyes begging you not to go. Come sunrise, he’d be forced back into the same grim routine, but right now, it felt nice, standing here with you.

“Will you be okay getting home alone?” he asks, grappling for any chance to prolong the moment.

“My driver is around the corner,” you tell him. “Thank you for keeping me company, –”

“Hoseok,” he fills you in, his chest aching with the desire to ask for your own name, but you’re already gone.

. . .

Hoseok wakes up the next morning to the rattling of the blinds, the sunlight causing him to immediately shut his eyes and bite back a groan. There was only one person who’d have access to his apartment at this hour – and exploit it.

“Eomma?” he rasps, burrowing his head further into the sheets. “What are you doing here?”

“Did you forget Hoseok-ah? Hurry up and get dressed, everyone’s waiting! You have five minutes.”

Forget what? His mother’s fussing continues in the background as she leafs through his closet, no doubt trying to find him a suitable outfit amongst the many pairs of ripped denim and oversized shirts he prefers on a day-to-day basis. Hoseok wracks his brain, trying to remember what could have called for such an occasion, but comes up empty, his mother’s stern warning echoing in his ears. 

As per usual, if it had anything to do with the organization, he’d do best not to ignore it.

Slipping on the stark white shirt and tie she’d chosen, the fabric itches against his skin, and he rakes his fingers through his hair, attempting to comb the mess into something somewhat presentable. He’s sure there was little to be done about the bags under his eyes, and the faint smell of tobacco emanating from him, and hoped that whoever these important guests were, they wouldn’t catch onto his late-night activities from the previous day. 

Stumbling into the hallway, Hoseok hears the faint chatter of voices, his father’s bellowing laugh a stark contrast to his mother’s delicate titter, and is immediately confused. Conversations with the bosses of the organization weren’t usually so… enthusiastic. 

When he rounds the corner to his living room, he stops in his tracks. Sitting next to his mother and father is another older couple he doesn’t recognize. They reek of wealth that his family could never even imagine, he notes, the polished Italian leather of the man’s shoes and the older woman’s massive diamond ring speaking for themselves. But he could honestly care less. Because to their left side, sitting on his favorite armchair, is you. The woman from in front of the mural. You’re clad in a simple sundress today, but you still manage to be nothing short of breathtaking against the backdrop of the sun’s rays. 

“There you are, Hoseok!” his father beckons him over jovially, but Hoseok remains frozen. “This is Mr. and Mrs. ____, and their daughter ____.”

Hoseok’s turns his gaze to his father, watching him recoil at the sharpness present in his son’s expression, a thousand unspoken questions lingering on his lips as to why these people were here, what purpose they had in his home, his space.

“We’d like for the two of you to get to know each other,” your mother speaks up with a smile so wide, he’d assume it’d been plastered onto her face. 

“Why?” he finally manages to whistle out in between grit teeth, looking only at you. But you don’t meet his eyes. Instead, your gaze is looking out his window, at the city beyond, the same loneliness from last night ever present in your eyes. 

“Because,” his father continues uncertainly, fidgeting the glass of wine in his hands, “___ is going to be your wife.”

You can feel Hoseok’s eyes glaring into the back of your head as he follows you wordlessly down the hallway. Moments pass before you come to a stop outside your apartment, and you hear the faint stumble of Hoseok’s boots as he stops unexpectedly in his tracks. His warm breath fans against the back of your neck for a brief moment before he straightens with a grunt, and you resist the urge to shiver, despite having never stepped foot into the rain.

The lock clicks, and he follows you inside. You can hear him rustle behind you as he struggles to remove his coat and boots, but you look straight ahead, hoping the darkness can hide how your fingernails are digging into your palm. 

“I won’t stay long,” his low voice breaks the silence. “Just until the storm passes.”

“Please,” you manage to muster up your most polite sounding voice. “Have a seat. I can get you something, maybe some water, o-or a cup of tea…” 

You want to curse your voice for wobbling in his presence, hating the way he still affected you even after all this time apart. Your brain bades you to walk away instinctively, and so you pad into the kitchen, wanting to put distance in between you and Hoseok so he can’t hear the rapid fluttering of your heart. The noise pounds in your ears as you rattle around in the cupboards, cursing when you realized you’d forgotten to turn on the light. It seemed embarrassing to do it now, and so you reach aimlessly, looking for some coffee. 

The pot bubbles, and in mere moments, you’re clutching two steaming mugs, finding your way back onto the living room. Hoseok has settled himself onto your couch, taking extra care not to rest his soaked shirt against the back of it, instead hunched over and dangling an unlit cigarette from his fingertips.

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you’d be okay with me…” he gestures to it, twirling it around in his fingers. “I know you don’t like the smell.”

You’re unsure whether to be touched that he remembers, or uneasy at the way he says it so monotonously, as if you’d still judge him for something so mundane when so much else had happened in between you.

“Here,” you set down the coffee in front of him, taking the seat directly opposite. “It’ll help take the edge off.”

The warm liquid burns your throat as you rush to take a sip, and you nearly sputter trying to keep it down. Over the rim of your cup, Hoseok remains frozen, his own mug steaming and untouched. His dark eyes bore into you, studying your face, and you feel your cheeks begin to burn.

If he notices the bags under your eyes, he says nothing. The same way he says nothing when he probably remarks at your simplistic clothes and lack of jewelry, a far cry from the expensive dresses and diamonds he’d been used to seeing you in. 

“Were you about to go out?” Hoseok asks, and the question catches you off guard. “I’m sorry if I stopped you from going somewhere.”

“Or meeting someone.” The last part is a hushed whisper, mumbled underneath his breath, in the hopes that you wouldn’t catch him. But you had. You wish he’d stop apologizing. It makes you feel guilty when you shouldn’t be, like he’s trying and you’re shutting him out, when in reality it’d been the exact opposite. 

All of a sudden, your phone buzzes to life, a text message lighting up the screen. You freeze when you see who it’s from, quickly snatching your phone and cursing in your head. Minghao was a friend of a friend, the two of you running into each other a number of times over the past couple of weeks, before he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask you for a coffee date.

You’d told him you’d think about it, and now here he was, lighting up your phone to ask you about your decision. Of course, how was he supposed to know that the reason you’d been holding off was the very man sitting in your living room, whom you’d almost married, and still couldn’t seem to let go?

Clutching your phone to your chest, you turn it to silent, setting it down beside you. Hoseok’s eyes are alight with curiosity, his lips turned up in a faint smirk, as though he’s remembering his statement from earlier. 

You take another sip, willing the caffeine to give you some strength, to rein in the bare threads of this conversation back to your control.

“How are your parents?”

Hoseok is taken aback by the question. He hadn’t expected it from you. There had once been a time where you’d been bright eyed and eager, wanting to know everything about him, bombarding him with question after question every time you were together. And yet somehow, he’d never managed to give you the time of day, always giving brusque answers and half-hearted excuses that there were other things that needed his attention.

He knew it was just a poor attempt to fill the silence, but his heart lurches at the thought that there’s so much you don’t know anymore. Namjoon coming back, Seokjin running away, the life that Hoseok knew being turned inside out. What’s more unsettling is the fact that he yearns to tell you, despite knowing he’d lost the privilege to do so.

“They’re okay. Doing well,” he lies through his teeth. “We all are. How about yours?”

He thinks it’s an innocent question, but he watches your fingers blanch as you grip the mug so tight, he thinks it’ll break. 

“I wouldn’t know,” you whisper out softly, and his heart stops. “I haven’t spoken to them since– you know.”

Hoseok feels dizzy at your confession. What do you mean you hadn’t spoken to them? Suddenly, it all begins to make sense in his head. The fact that he hadn’t expected to run into you tonight, because he hadn’t expected you to live alone, with your austere clothes and hair tossed up into a messy bun. It was so different from the woman he’d known, the dazzling one he’d written off as hollow in his mind, the one he was incapable of forming a real relationship with. 

And here you were, living the exact opposite of the cozy life he’d painted for you in his head. He thought you’d be fine, that you’d move on, your family offering you up to the next prospect that came along. And you’d accept them, like you’d accepted Hoseok with all his flaws, not caring that he could barely give you what you deserved.

His thoughts flash back to the last conversation you had, tears streaming down your face as you sobbed.

I can’t live like this anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and he watches annoyance flash across your face. He knows he’s done nothing but apologize this entire time, but it probably isn’t even worth a damn. No consolation would ever make up for losing someone that meant everything to you. He’d known that when Namjoon had run away.

“Hey,” you set the mug down, leaning over the table. For a brief second, he sees your hand reach out blindly in the darkness, almost as if it’s searching for his, but you withdraw just as quickly. “I’m okay. I really am.”

“I wish you’d stop pretending,” Hoseok blurts out, and he watches you jolt in surprise. “Why do you always have to pretend like everything’s okay, like nothing affects you? Is it the society training? Or do you really just not care about what happened at all?”

You chew the inside of your cheek, mulling over Hoseok’s words in your head.

“The same way you can pull the trigger on someone and be able to lie in your bed and fall asleep,” you seethe, a venom that Hoseok has never heard in your voice. 

“I knew who you were Hoseok. I knew what kind of man I was marrying. You think it didn’t affect me? You think I wasn’t scared out of my wits because of what you did, what other people could do to you?” 

You rise up, palms quivering as you open and close them, strolling over to the window. Hoseok watches your shoulders shake before they slump completely, and he knows that you’re crying.

He’s up before he can stop himself, feet ready to walk out the door. He’d fucked up the moment he’d stayed in the elevator with you, all the ugly feelings between you coming to a head, ones he’d struggled so hard to keep buried. 

But his body betrays him, instead leading him right behind. He pauses until he’s just close enough that if he reaches out, he’d be able to grab your arm and turn you around to face him. But he waits instead.

“I did what I did because I realized I was chasing a ghost,” you huff out, resignation in your tone. “I wanted you to be someone you weren’t. I wanted you to care so badly. But you didn’t. I don’t want any part in whatever you’re caught up in, Hoseok. Whatever has a hold on you so badly that you couldn’t even look beyond your cynicism to give me a chance.”

“I just want to survive.”

Hoseok grips the bathroom sink, knuckles turning white. His cell phone clatters on the counter beside him and he has to keep from heaving. This whole thing was a mess – no one had counted on Namjoon coming back. Even less so on him refusing to take up his father’s mantle. And so the threats continued – the words from the anonymous phone call still ringing in his ear, your name echoing across the line.

While he didn’t know what he felt for you, or whether he could even marry you, Hoseok knew you were an innocent person. You didn’t deserve to be the victim of your parents’ greed, them using you to bury their secrets in the hands of even more powerful people. You deserved gardens full of flowers and meals together every night, not coming home to an empty bed. Or a fiancé who couldn’t spare a moment during the entire night to even dance with you. 

He’s so lost in his brooding that he doesn’t hear the door the click behind him, the soft tapping of heels on the floor coming up behind him. 

“Is something wrong?” you ask him gently, and he feels the bristle of your hand on his jacket. 

So much was wrong. You couldn’t even begin to understand. 

“It’s fine,” he clears his throat, straightening up to adjust his jacket. “I’ll need to leave soon. I can have the car stay behind for you.”

The farther away he got from you, the better. That way no one could hurt you – or him. 

“I can go with you,” your voice echoes from beside him, “I was getting tired anyway.”

Hoseok turns to face you, watching you recoil at the red rimming his eyes, the bags underneath them becoming even more prominent in the dim lighting of the bathroom.

He doesn’t know what possesses him to reach for the single strand of hair that has managed to escape your polished bun, but he watches you suck in a breath, lips parting in surprise.

Before he knows it, your face is drawing in closer, and he can smell the rosé on your breath. Your lips barely ghost against his, and he has to fight every nerve ending not to grab your hand and run away from here, somewhere where he wasn’t Hoseok, and you weren’t ____, and you didn’t need protecting from everything around you – most of all him. 

His paralysis slowly melts away and he’s pushing you away without realizing, the door to the bathroom suddenly materialising in front of him. 

“Like I said,” he doesn’t bother turning around, knowing his heart would twist at whatever expression he found on your face. “I’ll have the car stay behind for you.”

Before you can wrestle with the weight of your confession to Hoseok, a hand is clamping over your mouth. Caught in a silent scream, you turn your eyes to see Hoseok lifting a finger to his lips, willing you to stay quiet. And that’s when you hear them. The voices.

Raucous laughter echoes through the hallway, tinged with malevolent glee. The air around you feels cold, a breeze at the base of your spine, and you instinctively curl into Hoseok.

“Come out, come out,” the disembodied voice cackles from the hallway. “Are you hiding from us, Jung? Found some poor rich girl to use as a body shield?”

Your hand seizes Hoseok’s wrist clamped against your mouth, nails digging into his arm, the fear taking over. Slowly, his wrist lowers, slipping to take your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?” 

He’s so quiet you almost can’t tell he’s said it at all. You nod reluctantly, eyes continuing to dart to the door.

“Go hide underneath the bed. Lock the door. I may or may not come back but please stay inside. Don’t come looking for me.”

His voice is clipped, the faint hint of nerves colouring his tone, but his eyes are filled with a resoluteness you know all too well. You’d spent the better part of over a year staring into them, hoping they’d look back. And now they finally were. 

“Be safe.” Your voice comes out louder than you’d intended, but there’s no anger in Hoseok’s expression. All he does is nod, and then you turn, stumbling down the hallway to your room, never bothering to look back until you hear the door click behind you.

. . .

Hoseok’s heart pounds in his chest, a strange pain settling in his ribs – he never expected to be in this position again. His sense of duty had always been his biggest downfall – and while you were no longer his, he owed it to you to make sure he gave you exactly what you’d asked him for – the chance to survive, to come out on the other side of this. That’s why he had to settle this once and for all.

Choi’s cronies linger at the other end of the hallway, too dumb to notice Hoseok slipping out of your door, reaching for the revolver he’d kept hidden in his coat pocket. A chill settles in his bones as he runs his fingers over the metal.

The brief events of the night play over in his head – the rain pounding against the pavement, the ding of the elevator, the now-cold mug of coffee that sat on your coffee table. And then there was you – your eyes, the softness of your skin, the faint smell of gardenias that lingered on your skin.

And it hits Hoseok that while he was very much alive – he’d been in mourning. Mourning for the friendships he’d never be able to recover, for the youth that had been taken away from him. But most of all, Hoseok’s heart mourns for the relationship he’d never gotten to have with you. The glass walls he’d so carefully put up around himself shatter, making way for a torrential deluge. 

After me, the flood.

He remembers the first night you’d met, how he’d been drawn to you without even trying, the portrait of the wave. He remembers the months that passed afterwards, where you drew closer to him and he drew back. He remembers the regret he’d buried deep in his heart for not kissing you back the night of the gala, not knowing he’d never get another chance.

But most of all, he remembers the somber expression on your face the day you’d ended things, pressing the engagement ring back into his hands, the very same ring that was still sitting in the first drawer of his nightstand. 

Choi’s men finally perk up, noticing Hoseok’s solitary figure lingering at the end of the hallway, smirks twisting on their grotesque faces. A shot rings out, and Hoseok thinks of you now, hiding under your bed. And then he charges.

The alleyway was grim at this time of day, the sunlight barely able to reach beyond the towering skyscrapers, the clouds casting everything in grey. Rain fell softly from the sky. You clutch your coat tighter around you, unable to stop looking at the mural of the wave.

So much had changed since you’d first seen it. And yet it was still the same.

You know Hoseok from the thud of his boots against the pavement, coming up beside you. His head turns, an eyebrow raised in your direction, wondering why you’d asked to meet him here of all places.

You avoid his eyes, fingers clasping around the blue velvet in your pocket. His eyes widen with surprise when he sees the box, confusion marring his handsome face. 

A knot forms in your chest when you watch the confusion turn into alarm as you press the box into his hand, the dazzling diamond no longer on your left finger.

“I don’t understand,” he grunts, breath visible in the cold air.

“We can’t do this anymore, Hoseok. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this.”

“Was it something that I did?” he questions you, desperation creeping into his voice.

You scoff, watching him flinch, pain on his face. 

“No, it’s the opposite. It’s what you haven’t ever been able to do. It’s been an entire year, Hoseok. I’ve watched you answer every phone call that comes your way, disappear into the night to do god knows what, run whenever your friends call. And in that entire time, have you ever thought about us? About the future?”

You take a deep breath.

“I know that neither of us chose this, but Hoseok, we were engaged. Did that mean anything to you?”

He squares his shoulders, fists clenching at his sides, a tick in his jaw.

“You don’t understand. I-I’m not good for you, ___. I dont think I’ll ever be. There’s too much that’s happened, too much I’ve lost. But please don’t walk away like this.

“I thought it’d be enough,” you whisper, and Hoseok freezes. You didn’t know he’d heard you.

“I thought me loving you would be enough for the both of us. But it’s not. I need more. I need someone who I know will come home to me every night. But what I need even more than that, is for you to let me walk away so I can breathe again. So I can be myself.”

Your eyes are just as sad as the first time Hoseok saw them, and all of a sudden, you remark at how stagnant the two of you had been together.

“Hoseok please, I know I can’t ask you to do it if you love me, but if you’ve ever cared about me, even the tiniest bit, let me go.”

You watch him open the box, gazing at the ring. Moments pass by before he slips it into his own pocket, his eyes flitting to the wave as he gives you a small smile, the most genuine one you’d ever seen.

“Goodbye, ____. 

Hoseok’s fist rattles against the door, before he slumps over, heaving for breath. The pain in his side licks at him like the flames of a fire. He hisses when he presses a hand to it, eyes widening when it comes away covered in blood. Those fuckers had managed to get him. Shit.

His eyes are about to close when the door springs open, the wide eyes of Kim Namjoon taking in his battered figure. 

“Hobi, what the fuck?” Namjoon seethes, offering him an arm and pulling him inside. Slinging an arm around Hoseok’s shoulder, the two of them hobble to Namjoon’s kitchen, the burning in Hoseok chest causing him to let out a loud groan.

“Hyun is sleeping,” Namjoon chastises him, and Hoseok bites his tongue, remembering that this Namjoon was dealing with a pregnant wife and a toddler. “You gonna tell me what the hell happened, or do I have to force it out of you?”

“I made a mistake, Namjoon. I went somewhere I shouldn’t have tonight. I fucked up, but I-I didn’t mean to I swear…”

Hoseok feels himself shake as the words pour out, the ruined mission the furthest thing from his mind. He tells Namjoon everything – from being tailed to running into to you, to how he’d left, not knowing whether you were okay or not. 

“That was a dick move,” Namjoon huffs.

“Excuse me?” Hoseok looks up at his best friend, who looks more pissed off than he’s ever seen him. 

“I said what I said. That was a dick move, just leaving her like that.”

“I don’t need a lecture on running away from you, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon wipes away the blood on his side, and Hoseok bites his tongue at the sting of the alcohol, before slumping into the chair next to him. 

“You’re an idiot, Jung Hoseok. You’ve been so afraid of letting yourself feel things for so long, and I know it’s because you think that everyone around you is going to leave, or that you’ll lose them. But I’m telling you right now, that’s the stupidest thing you could ever do.”

“You have to let yourself just be, Hobi. Just let go. Enjoy things - life, your friends, your family. Be open to the possibility of love. It’s the only thing that can keep the darkness away.”

Namjoon’s voice shrinks when he says the last line, and Hoseok knows his friend is far off in his own mind, battling the demons that plague him. 

“I think I’m too far gone for that, Namjoon,” Hoseok tells him. “Maybe some of us weren’t meant for happiness. Maybe some of us needed to make sacrifices so others could live the lives they wanted to.”

“That’s a damn lie if I’ve ever heard one, Hoseok.” Namjoon striaghtens, rising up from the chair. “I know you’ve been angry at me for leaving, for keeping you all in the dark. I know how much it hurts to not be able to share your happiest moments with people you love. And I’m sorry for that. But you have a chance to change things.”

“Listen Hobi,” Namjoon crouches down to his level. “I want to be the best man at your wedding – I want to be there for you in all the ways you didn’t get to do for me. This is my way of making amends, but you need to fix whatever this is between you two.”

“What makes you think she’ll even take me back? I was awful to her… god, she didn’t deserve that Joon. She deserves so much better.”

“Do you love her?” Namjoon asks him, and Hoseok is shocked when he doesn’t even have to pause to think about it. He wants to start over, to be by your side, to have a chance to love you properly this time around. 

“Second chances come when you least expect them, Hobi. Think about what would have happened if you hadn’t stepped out into the rain last night. And don’t let it happen again.”

The knock at the door startles you, your phone clattering to the floor. Swearing under your breath, you pick it up, perusing the message from Minghao once again. He was nothing if not persistent. And Hoseok was never coming back. You’d convinced yourself of that.

It’d been over a week since he’d left you that night - the promise to keep you safe burrowing its way into your heart. And then radio silence. You’d heard the gunshots in the hallway, but when you’d opened the door, no one was there, the only evidence of the showdown being the faint splatters of blood on the wall. When the police had questioned you, you’d left Hoseok’s name out of it – those words echoing in your mind, instilling a false sense of loyalty in you.

Why did you think things would be different this time around? It’d been foolish to assume that Hoseok thought anything more of you. But you couldn’t forget the look in his eyes, the gentle touches, the way he’d promise he would never let anything happen to you, and you fell for him all over again.

Throwing your phone aside, you grumble as you make your way to the door, making a mental note to respond to Minghao later, agreeing to the date.

Swinging it open, you freeze when you see who’s on the other end. Hoseok, looking worse for wear with bruises on his jaw and a nasty cut on his forehead, nervously twirling a tiny bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You’re dumbfounded - unable to speak as you take him in, his dark, inquisitive eyes gazing into your shocked ones. 

“You better let me in, ____,” he says with a grin. “Or the neighbours are gonna think I did something really bad this time.”

Wordlessly, you open the door to allow him to enter, watching as he slips off his coat and shoes, an exact repeat of a week ago. You watch him, trying to open your mouth and say something, ask him anything, but nothing will come out. 

“These are for you,” Hoseok nearly shoves the bouquet in your hands and you watch him rub at the back of his neck, his ears reddening.

“Are you okay Hoseok?” you finally manage to ask him, setting the flowers on your coffee table. Your concern wins out over your confusion once again, but the whole scene is odd – him, smiling in your apartment, the late afternoon sunlight casting half his angular face in a mysterious shadow.

“Just a little nick to my side,” he lifts his shirt up, your eyes widening at the bandages on his abdomen. “But actually, I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay since the day I let you walk away, and I can’t live with it anymore.”

You take a step back, unable to breathe. The space in between you seems to have lessened considerably, and you can make out every delicate detail of his face. Dizzy, you put some distance in between the two of you.

“Everything hurts, ___. It hurts because I look at you and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore, knowing how much pain I put you through. It hurts knowing that you’re so kind, so understanding of someone like me, when I don’t deserve it at all. And what hurts the most is knowing that I love you, and I’ve been lying to myself this entire time because I’m afraid you’ll leave just like everyone else, but I lost you anyway.”

Hoseok’s voice cracks on the last words, and you watch him sway, gripping onto your counter for support.

“I thought it was just me this entire time,” you finally manage to look him in the eyes, tears spilling out of your own. “I thought I was crazy, because ever since you walked out that door a week ago, all I’ve been doing is waiting for you to come back.”

“I’m here,” Hoseok closes the gap between you, arms wrapping around you. You breathe in the faint scent of tobacco on his leather jacket, mixed with the spice of his cologne. “And I’m not leaving. Not this time.”

You grip his lapels, before your arms come up to wrap around his neck, running your fingers through the soft hair at his nape. 

“What if it’s not different this time around?” you whisper into his neck. “What if nothing changes?”

“What if it is?” his low voice rumbles into your hair. “Can you trust me, ___? One more time?”

You take his hand in yours, bringing it to your chest, his lips parting in awe at the fluttering of your heartbeat.

“Only you can do that to me,” you say softly, a smile gracing your lips. 

Before you know it, Hoseok’s lips are crashing against yours, and you can feel him release a euphoric sigh, groaning into your mouth. It’s slow, tentative in the way he waits for your body to respond, never pushing more than you’re comfortable with. Eventually, even the small bit of distance in between you becomes too much to bear. You card your fingers into his hair, pulling slightly at the strands, warmth blossoming in your chest.

It feels too short when he pulls away all too soon, lips tinged with red and eyes dark with something that sends a shiver down your spine.

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since the night of the gala,” he rasps, warmth blooming in your chest at his confession. “You were—, I mean you still are, breathtaking.”

You can feel the rapid beat of his heart, his pulse point right there below your fingertips, and you reach for his hand, watching his entire body soften at your touch. 

“Come with me,” you ask him, eyes turning down the hallway to your bedroom. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for. 

Hoseok tries to ignore the rapid rushing of blood in his ears, his focus narrowing to your head resting on his shoulder, the two of you looking out at the city together for the last little while from your bed. It’s somewhere he never imagined he’d be, but he’d felt the ice around his heart melt the moment he’d finally kissed you for real, warmth filling his veins.

And despite relishing in your presence, it was spiking to a fever pitch. He’d tasted you, and now he couldn’t get enough. All it takes is a brief moment for you to look in his eyes, and he’s pulling you into him once again, mouth hard on yours, unable to resist the desire for more, more, more. 

You whine into his mouth, hands fisting at the edge of his shirt, struggling to pull it over his head. He uses one hand to pin both arms behind you, reaching over with the other to hike your dress up to your stomach, finally peeling it off, and you lie back, eyes alight with desire as you take him in. 

He kisses you again, his lean body hovering over yours, hands roaming everywhere – your arms, up your neck, and on your thighs. He inches higher and higher, fingers ghosting over your core.

“Hoseok please,” you whimper, digging your nails into his shoulder blades. “I can’t wait anymore.”

You part your thighs for him, and he wastes no time, pulling your soaked underwear to the side and dipping his fingers into your arousal. He presses another hard kiss to your lips, catching your moans in his mouth while he works you open, leaving you trembling underneath him.

You whine when his fingers leave you, clenching around nothing, coming up to cup your exposed breasts in both hands while he licks and sucks at your nipples.

“Fuck,” he groans against your chest. “How are you so perfect? How are you even mine?”

His voice breaks, and you mouth at his jaw, mirroring his actions until purple bruises begin to bloom in the spots where your lips previously were.

“I’m yours,” you nip at his bottom lip. “Whether you like it or not.”

“Believe me,” he smirks. “I like it. I like it a lot actually. Let me show you how much.”

With adept skill, he manages to remove your panties in seconds, throwing them to the wall. The clinking sound of his belt drives you mad, and your hands join his, the two of you awkwardly fumbling to remove it.

You feel your mouth go dry when his cock springs free, and he chuckles at the depraved look in your eyes.

“Some other time, love,” he whispers, voice lowering a few octaves. “Right now, I need to feel you.”

You gasp when he pushes in, and he pauses, wondering if it’s too much, but you nod, letting him know it’s okay. He thrusts shallowly, before pushing in all the way, watching you squirm underneath him while rutting your hips.

“Move, please,” you beg him, and he obliges, hiking one leg up over his shoulder to open you up for him, the wet sounds of your pussy accompanying the fluid snap of his hips. His knuckles grip the headboard, turning white while he pins you underneath him, unable to take his eyes off the way your tits bounce with every thrust. His hands grip at your ass, every jerk of his hips an excuse to hold you tighter, until he can see your skin redden underneath his fingers. 

“Oh my god, Hoseok, I can’t–, it’s too much,” you groan, rocking against him in an attempt to quell the sparks underneath your skin, lighting you up like a livewire.

“Come for me,” he grunts, trapping your clit in between his fingers, rubbing tight circles until you snap, seeking his lips once again, your orgasm flooding your entire body like a wave. Hoseok speeds up his thrusts to join you, roaring when he feels himself explode, before slumping against you, chest heaving with the weight of his breaths. 

Moments pass like this, him remaining inside you while he burrows into the crook of your neck, his warm breath fanning your damp skin. Eventually he pulls out of you with a soft whine, brushing away the sweat-soaked strands of hair at your temple, before rising. 

You trap his wrist in your hand, panic settling in. He watches your expression change and immediately stiffens, cradling you against his chest.

“That expression you always talk about, the flood. I-, I looked it up. And I know the life I have isn’t ideal, and maybe things will only get harder, but I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I don’t want to live out the rest of my life not caring anymore.”

“Do you know what I was thinking of that night, looking at the wave?” you mumble in his ear, and he gazes at you inquisitively, watching the way your skin glows under the moonlight as you take a breath.

“My whole life, people have forced me into this box, this image, of someone they want me to be – the perfect daughter, the perfect wife. It’s been suffocating. All I wanted that night was a taste of freedom - that feeling of happiness you have on a beach, feeling the waves crash at your feet. And then I saw you.”

Hoseok leaves a kiss in your hair, his fingers intertwining with yours. Briefly, his heart drops at the absence of the ring he’d given you on your finger, but he knows when you’re ready, it’ll be waiting for you. He’ll be waiting for you. And the two of you will step into the flood, together. 

a/n pt. 2:  Okay long ending note here. First, please visualize this Hoseok with the undercut ;) Second, I don't normally say this but the writer's block really got me good with this one, so I apologize if it's not up to my usual standards (pls be kind tho). And third and last, this fic definitely would never exist if it weren't for the wonderful Guarded series by Ana (@xjoonchildx). I think about it more than is necessary and this is definitely my tribute to the impeccable Captain Jung.

As always, any comments or feedback are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi <3

taglist (pls let me know if you want to be removed): @jalexad @secfir @hobi-love @back2bluesidex @temptingempress

[rwbyrg]

How do you stay positive seeing all the negativity we get for shipping this?

I don't typically talk about discourse, but I know this is something pretty much every RG shipper has faced at some point. So I'll make an exception this once. For anyone that doesn't want to hear about it, I strongly encourage you to keep scrolling.

I'm gonna keep it brief(ish) and vague, but content warning for topics of mental health, abuse, general fandom toxicity and ship discourse.

The short answer is that I've had to completely remove myself from large fandom spaces. I left Twitter last fall, I'm not in any big Discords, and I never check the fandom Reddits. I block bullies, bystanders, and bad faith arguers liberally. I mute words and phrases I don't wish to see, I don't engage with the bad faith takes, and I don't go looking in tags much either.

I surround myself with a small group of friends that I enjoy spending time with and can trust. So I still have outlets to be able to geek out without risk of dealing with the wider community's negativity. This blog was also created as a safe outlet to ramble, join together, or spread positivity about the ship. I know how rough it is for us out there - in the RWBY fandom as a whole, as well as within our own RG shipping spaces. So since I can't be an impartial community leader that helps run events or bigger spaces for us like I used to, this is kind of all I have left to offer.

The slightly longer addition that got way out of hand:

I'm not going to say it's not lonely. That I don't miss being part of a more active, wider group of people that we should have every right to join. But despite how hard some of us tried, there was nothing we could do to change the toxicity that is so deeply rooted at the core of this fandom. The fact that I even tried as hard as I did was 1. a trauma response and 2. just ended up with me - and too many of my friends - getting hurt anyway. I can't regret it because it's how I made the friends that are so dear to me now. But none of us should have had to deal with the cyberbullying, harassment, dog-piling, backstabbing, suibaiting, or any of that other garbage to find the group we have today.

It's extremely fucked up. There's no way to sugar coat it. All of it is abuse and is genuinely traumatizing to many people. I am not using these as buzzwords either. Myself and a handful of my rg shipping friends have literally gone to therapy to help us heal from all the things we've experienced in this fandom. So I have it on the authority of multiple psychiatrists, therapists, and social workers that what I am saying here is true.

Rosegarden and its shippers have become the scapegoat of a toxic community. There are big name fans who've staked their entire platforms on the idea of a rival ship being canon. And so, when they see any of us suggesting a Very Likely alternative to their reality (even if we're minding our own business), they become violent and go out of their way to try and defend it. There are entire servers and friend groups built on bullying this ship and its shippers for similar reasons. Anyone that argues against them, no matter how valid their stance, or how articulately its delivered, is going to become a target. Because we are seen as a threat to a system they directly benefit from. If any of them were to acknowledge how unreasonable or ridiculous all of this is, what would that mean for the circumstances and relationships they've built for themselves? It would all fall apart, wouldn't it?

This is why we also see fellow RG shippers invalidating or blaming us for what we go through. Because some of them have become convinced that if they side with the bullies and paint themselves as "not like those shippers", then they'll be "safe". Which as we all know isn't true. Because the antis attack each other for the smallest offences that don't have anything to do with us anyway.

The RWBY fandom is not alone in struggling with this. Fandoms everywhere are seeing these same patterns play out in different ways. A lot of people without as many stakes in the arguments will often scoff or dismiss it on the basis of it being "so serious, when it's just about fictional characters". And to that, I say: bullshit.

First of all, the people on the other side of the screen dealing with all of this are Real People with Real Feelings and their own lives that are already hard enough as it it. And these sorts of environments, as previously mentioned, can and do cause severe harm. Second, none of this hate has anything to do with fictional characters. That is part of the reason why I am still able to enjoy this ship and this show despite everything I've been through here. Because the fictional characters are simply the means to an end. And while that end is different for everyone, for the bullies - by and large - it offers them power in the face of their insecurities.

The only reason this space is as toxic as it is, is because the loudest voices are often the most emotionally immature. All the reasonable people see the infighting going on and know that engaging with it is a pointless waste of energy. As someone that did try to fight it, I truly don't blame any of them for staying uninvolved. But power comes in numbers; so until a large enough group of the reasonable ones come forward, this fandom will only continue on the course it's headed.

I rambled a lot and I'm not even sure how much of this is relevant to your question. If i were to give a tl;dr to answer you, it is this:

You need to curate your own experience by setting boundaries for yourself that cannot easily be crossed by people or content that is going to upset you.

Recognizing the reason people behave the way they do towards all of this has very little, if anything, to do with the show, the ship itself, or the people shipping it is very liberating.

Don't be like how I was. Don't try and force it when it isn't working. If you are in an environment or a habit that you are getting more harm than joy from: leave. It doesn't always feel like it in the moment, but it is better to be alone than to be surrounded by people who suck. And when you shed the ones that don't treat you well, you open yourself up to more like-minded people that will want to be friends with you anyway.

I say this genuinely with only love and support in my heart, but: touch grass. As often as you can, as often as you need to: get offline. Read a book, engage in other hobbies, connect with people in real life, go for a walk or just get outside if you can. When you start connecting with the reality on your side of the screen more, it puts how pointless and absurd so much of this discourse really is into perspective. Moderation is key.

I'm sorry that all of the negativity has got you down. No one wants to acknowledge how much this sort of thing can affect our well being, but I know first hand how bad it can get. None of it is fair. The feelings you're having are valid and aren't anything to be ashamed about. If you have friends or family you can rely on for support, reach out to them when you need it. If you're in a place where you think the help you need is a bit more specialized, you have my support and encouragement in making the call or doing the research to get started. Therapy isn't accessible and doesn't always work for everyone, but it's not the only option. Before I could afford it, I micro-dosed by reading self-help books and following therapists on Instagram, lol.

I'm not sure what else I can say, and have said more than I meant to anyway. But hang in there, you're not alone, and take care of yourself, okay?💕🫂

[newx-menfan]

*Spoilers!* (Warning- I’m about to get a little hot, guys)

The issue starts with a monologue by Sophie (and a very obvious and subtle commentary on Poland and PiS!) about humans falling into Empath’s trap.

The team talks about the recent developments on the rooftop- Laura blames Sophie and Kamala defends her (Laura’s shmopsy got manipulated Kamala! She’s pissed! 🥺) 

Dante is kind of A LOT while comforting David, who is trying to figure out their plans… (sorry guys… “the Colossus joke” was awkward and gave me the ick! lol)

It APPEARS like Empath and the Purifiers are working together and possibly brainwashing the rest of the team (I don’t believe for a second Hellion could help out the people who bombed his friends!…but OKAY…)

While watching Marvels off-brand “TikTok”, we see protesters at David’s apartment suddenly freeze…

Sophie shows up to apologize (she should have to take everyone to “Olive Garden”, just to double down on that apology lol) and Kamala gets her girlfriend back in an obviously lovestruck scene (soorrryy Bruno and Miles- you’ve been REPLACED! 😂🤣)

Kamala invites Sophie up to the roof and we switch over to Empath telling us his “EVIL PLAN” (trademark, patent pending!)- basically it goes like this- Julian creates fear and chaos among the humans they CAN’T turn… Empath funds the Purifiers, so active violence against mutants is being broadcasted…and in creating a situation of violence and despair, mutants form together to create a “New Krakoa”…

After hearing about the “EVIL PLAN” plan from Sophie…Kamala and Co decide… to organize?? (…Kay)

Kamala’s COUSIN is (of COURSE) there with her brother Aamir at the Purifiers protest…and they of course inevitably clash when the pro-mutant protest, led by Kamala, when they arrive…

While the protesters are ramping up, Sophie gets contacted by the other Cuckoos and goes “no contact” and frees the congressman from the Cuckoos control. (I really wish life WAS this easy LOL)

Sophie’s psychic powers stop working after she rejects “the Hive” (Oh- are we going to get a story on how the Cuckoos powers aren’t working because one broke off and explore the issues with their minds being connected and the problems with their symbiosis???!! I am actually excited about that!) 

Kamala talks to the crowd and… convinces them to lay down their arms… and hug and sing “kumbaya”… (…Kay…)

Until a Purifier decides to try and shoot a protester…which Laura handily takes care of… and EVERYTHING is HAPPY…and the WORLD is GREAT (minus the gunshot 😒)

Review:

I kind of don’t care for the plot point of the oppressed “manufacturing” violence on their own to basically “force” essentially a movement- this leaves a bad taste in my mouth, considering current political realities (Palestine, the US election, ect…) 

Truthfully- this WHOLE issue feels tone deaf, in a world where it was just announced Trump is propping Musk up as “Department of Government Efficiency” and possibly cutting things like the FDA…

I get the writers had NO WAY of knowing how the election would GO- but I would argue THIS is the exact problem with X-Editorial’s argument that mutants need to “be traditional heroes” again…

I would also complain that I don’t see the Cuckoos and Hellion going along with this plan- where I could TOTALLY see Julian killing bigots- I DON’T think Julian would EVER be down with innocent mutants being killed. 

I do get the point the writers are making, and don’t even think it’s a BAD POINT- if you want REAL change, people need to organize, support the community, support and volunteer for organizations that protect people’s rights… we need to care about local issues… but I don’t know if this is a great story RIGHT NOW… and I don’t know if the “baddies” being an oppressed group…is GREAT…😬

X-Men HAVE always had mutant enemies- but Magneto’s violence… and even kind of Mystique’s… was always represented as reactionary to human violence.

Shaw was always more grey and represented as not caring about killing mutants… but he was also representative of Capitalism and the power of wealth… which is WHY his character WORKED…

Hellion and the Cuckoos…Kamala’s cousin…Aamir suddenly being down for hating mutants…

It DOES kind of send the message that the problem is THE OPPRESSED…or that there’s a “right” and “wrong” way for people to deal with OPPRESSION… and not thinking at ALL about the OPPRESSORS or the systems in place😬…and I DON’T really LOVE THAT…

The problem with this kind of story is Marvel wants to “have its cake and eat it too”, so to speak- it wants to represent a “mutant human alliance”… but also make humans unrepentant villains committing mass war crimes… it’s elevated human violence against mutants to an absurdly HORRIBLE level, to the point that it makes zero sense for Mutants to have “anti-violent tactics” at ALL… it’s transformed ALL the secondary “human” characters into mutants or simply doesn’t have them featured in stories AT ALL anymore (where’s Stevie? Where’s Dr. Peter Corbeau??)… it’s time and again shown other non-mutant hero’s don’t advocate or care about the crimes being committed AGAINST mutants… it doesn’t bother to really showcase pro-mutant organizations pushing back or being created at all IN THE BOOKS…

It wants to walk BACK Krakoa and Utopia… but that’s the ONLY plot point that makes sense anymore, when you’re writing kids getting mass murdered and genocided every week…Writers have escalated the violence they feature… to the point where the school setting and O5 antics at the “soda pop shop” DOESN’T make sense ANYMORE. 

I also think this book is having trouble being a TEAM BOOK- five issues in… and it’s STILL mainly about Kamala…

Laura…Anole… have ZERO purpose in this book…and in my personal opinion… it’s making it HIGHLY LIKELY this book is going to be on the chopping block…

It just DOESN’T feel LIKE A TEAM BOOK- and I really feel like the writers are screwing themselves.

We saw what happened with Strain’s “Generation X” vol. 2- its sales IMMEDIATELY dropped because it was a “stealth QQ” book…

Honestly- this is my biggest criticism with A LOT of X-books over the years; so many of them feel like “stealth solos”, when readers genuinely just WANT A TEAM BOOK. That’s WHY people READ X-Men.

Much like Issue #3- it felt like filler. When so far two out of five issues feel subpar on a new series (with C-List characters)… that’s NOT GREAT… especially on a line of books where even reasonably POPULAR books get the axe.

I really WANT to love this series… and I do think the writers have interesting ideas… but I think they need to clean up this book a bit…

Make it more of a TEAM BOOK… go back to WHAT FANS WANT with X-books- soap opera, more nuanced storytelling, character focused dialogue…

Honestly- you have a LOT of readers picking this UP because they want a NXM book… you have a lot of people reading for Hellion and x-23 drama… you have a lot of people reading because they’re tired of Anole and Prodigy being wallpaper or JUST used to check the box of “empty LGBTQIA+ representation” and not real characters… 

Maybe do that instead.

Theories: 

I’m kind of pissed we didn’t get Laura acknowledging Hellion AT ALL- I doubt that’s even happening truthfully. The love triangle is TOTALLY going to be Synch/Laura/Local, in my opinion- just to spite fans at this point. 

From the spoilers- Kamala’s cousin becomes obviously a Purifier (I bet he will try to shoot Hellion in the hospital)…

Synch and Kiden shows up- I wish it was JUST Kiden TBH…

Hopefully we GET a “Cuckoo identity crisis” of sorts lol… 

Dante will continue to have zero character development and just make awkward comments about mutant power sets…

But yeah… WAY less excited about this book after seeing the end of this arc 😬

I could forgive a lot of the flaws, if the ending of this arc HADN’T been THIS LACKLUSTER…

I just don’t know what the X-line is doing anymore honestly

[venusfun]

🌸Appreciation post🌸

I know I know.. I'm not posting, I'm not that active on my blog, but I want to say a huge thank you to all of you, that made me forget all the shit that happens in my life.

These years when I was posting, creating astrology content, and all the games were so fucking amazing, and I'm grateful for my other friends, talented people on here that supported me talked to me, asked me questions. To be honest, I actually felt useful for the very first time.

So thank you all for the good vibes, support, and I hope you will all have just as much fun here as I had. And I'm so happy seeing new people here, following their dreams, sharing their knowledge.

There are some accounts that I would like to say a personalized thank you:

@notanastrologer ahhhh you are so amazing, I absolutely love love LOVE the knowledge you are sharing here, you're always helping people and I'm so sure that you will get very far in life, I still remember the first ask that I sent you about Mars in 6th house haha. I'm very grateful for you and for the opportunity to interact with you.

@1111jenx you always in my mind have been the astrology it girl, you are so inspirational. Your posts are very deep and well-made. Even though we exchanged a few messages, I felt very joyful when we did. I'm very glad that I came across your account because the things I have learned from you could be written in a book. You're so fabulous.

@d4rkpluto I am truly amazed by your knowledge. I admit that at first I was quite intimidated by truthfulness because I see people putting on a mask when on social media. You are always honest and I love it. And I'm very happy to see you still active, and going strong on here. I'm grateful that I had the chance to read your posts since the newcomer Pluto era.

@hillarysss My first astrology friend! You are such an incredible person, you made the start of my astrology era very fun, Im grateful for the chance I got to communicate with u here on messages and on Discord. I absolutely enjoyed every interaction, and I hope you're doing great!

@leolo404 where do I even start? Even though we parted ways because I became inactive for a long time, I still find myself thinking about how you're doing. I'm thankful for all of the support I got from you, and I hate myself for losing such incredible communication. I wish I had done a lot more for you.

@ellmeria I would say you are one of my recent astrology friends, but I can tell that you're one of the kindest and stunning people I have come across. You are so talented and I can tell that success will follow you always. You're so inspirational, and your blog is very beautiful and well-made.

@astroismypassion you have one of the most informative blogs I have ever seen. Your ability to analyze placements is outstanding, I have learned so much because of your astounding posts, and I'm happy that many people because of you are learning and discovering many things about themselves.

@danihodgs you are so so so positive.. ALWAYS. I literally adore it so much, and I always get a smile on my face when I see you posting about your days! Keep going, you are stunning!

There are so many accounts that I'm grateful of! I can't even name all of them. I'm also very thankful for all the people following me, and it makes me happy that some of you enjoyed the content I made.

I still remember when I hit 50 followers and I felt like the happiest human on earth. Now I'm soon to hit 7000 which is indescribable. And I adore and love every single one of you.

I really really want to keep posting but nowadays when I think of a unique or interesting post to make, I feel stuck, I can't really explain the feeling.

At least in August, I will try my best to be more active, to show support and share kindness.

A very truthful and genuine thank you.❤️

[bloodsadx]

i really appreciate your work. the first thing that struck me when i first read was the depiction of acne of course. Stark red on mainly black pieces. Disappearing as it fades from your perception but always there by implication and the way it informs. It feels real in a way most depictions don't.

As an artist i respect and relate to, I was wondering if you have words for something. I've released critical writing to decent success, but have found that what actually draws people is the person that leaks into the critique. But I can't harness that intentionally. I'm fairly dissociative and barely know myself, nor how to relate that self to others.

Your works feel personal and critical, in a sorta coherent flux. I wish to learn that, but I'm someone that eats their nails ig. Nothing leaves my body without a filter. Beyond attempting to grow out of that critical isolation, do you have any reading, art, concepts to explore? If not, i appreciate the consideration. keep it real

the first thing i wanna say is thank you. the second thing i wanna say is that absolutely being a critic who has a following or success is more about having a cult of personality than having strong critical faculties. but i think the best critics have their personalities in part molded around their critical faculties, and having rigorously lived in some kind of way which matches and performs the kind of standards they purport to hold media to they gain a large degree of authenticity. but being a critic is also heavily about persuasion and through relating and story telling you can really draw someone into your arguments. so to that end having a strong voice and living a bespoke life defined by a unique and Personal personhood is definitely like, a goal that i think is like, inseparable from being able to not only like talk about art but to experience and communicate about experiences gained from art.

and so i really think just doing stuff and taking risks and living hard and painfully and reflectively and full of vulnerability is important to being better at doing that. and i think thats true of any kind of art. i think a good example to me is someone like tim rogers, who, by design has obfuscated much of his forward facing personality and brand, but also has created or purports to have created like a doppelganger of himself anyway which represents the arguments hes making. and his lived experience often serves, whether ironically or sincerely, as a basis for the core of his various experiences. and maybe more importantly to what you asked, the navel gazing memoir esque rants he goes on allow people to construct a personal version of that character which seems real and allows them to relate and Care about his arguments. and he has a very big and dedicated following. selling authenticity and boisterousness. you got dunkey and orson welles doing the same shit. and maybe another very important thing with these particular figures to me is that they didn’t necessarily want to be critics, didn’t show up to the conversation choosing to be perceived as Sideliners, but actively are or were people who created and then talked about stuff.

as far as my own work, i make things which are honest and lies and i make fun of myself freely and i say stupid things and make art that is so vulnerable and honest at times to the point of damaging myself and my personal relationships. i openly embarrass myself but intentionally and unintentionally. i have a like genuine personal belief in the fact that being vulnerable and naive and sincere makes art better and so i have actively for a long time sought to be better at doing that. and art to me is in part a release and the way in which i express the things im thinking has been honed through long periods of obsessive angst and self seriousness as well as detachment and self hatred. i spend most of my life doing stuff that isn’t making art, like walking 10-15 miles a day or drinking at bars with my friends or working for weeks straight in an empty studio, often until i become devastated or empassioned by something, and then i vomit everything i’m feeling through some kind of metaphor sometimes and other times just nakedly. i listen to a lot of emo music and am obsessed with publicly vulnerable figures in art like kanye or phil elvrum or lil peep or whatever. i don’t know. it’s taken me a long time to find the footing i have and it’s been a constant process to keep it, and i often lose it, and i am honestly and probably visibly even extremely concerned with my own work to the point i am regularly reanalyzing it and making insular self references. a big thing for me when i made my first zine (AND IM TIRED OF FEELING FEELING, which is mostly bad) and then after that my first book (MANIFESTO) was the concept to me of beginning to make my own emotional vocabulary. and i mean literally i thought of and planned out a series of things and events and symbols which i could attempt to define and talk about so that they would be like, recorded, and then i would be able to, in all of my own further work, respond to my own failures and successes in doing that. and i think most people don’t do that so deliberately, but for me i think being very intentional and analytical and like structurally aware of how art is designed comes most naturally to me when i’m Reflecting and then doing that reflection work constantly allows me to, when i am in Making mode, vomit stuff that is even slightly meaningful to anybody. my art is a conversation with myself and little fake cartoons of parts of myself or my reactions to the world around me. sometimes to the point of being nauseating LOL!

well i hope any of that helps you. i just sincerely recommend going crazy and like doing stuff thats crazy and seems like stuff u maybe wouldnt ever experience. i think sometimes i think of myself as doing gonzo journalism on like extremely mundane stuff where im like yeah im gonna go to this boring party that sucks but im doing it as a student of the world of boring parties that suck. sometimes u just gotta put urself in a position.

[theguytoendallguys]

Alright. I have some things to say about the demeaning of Ricky Potts, both within the canon and the Ride The Cyclone fandom, because the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off.

First, I would just like to say, I am not physically or verbally disabled, and I am not trying to speak for or take away from the lived experiences of disabled people. Feel free to correct me if I say something accidentally ableist during this rant, as I wish to be as respectful as possible when tackling this issue. Second, there will be a lot of discussions of ableism, and several mentions of sexual scenes/scenes where sex is discussed, so if any of that triggers you, I suggest you click off this post or scroll past it.

That being said, let’s talk about the demeaning of Ricky Potts in canon first. There are a lot of scenes where Ricky is actively demeaned, usually by Ocean. (i.e. Ocean calling him “sweetie” or other typical pet names, which is very gross considering they are not canonically dating, or even implied to be, hell, Ocean actively says at the end of the musical she never got to know anybody in the choir on a personal level, not even Constance, her “best friend”.)

One of the instances that most pisses me off is when, during/after “every story’s got a lesson”, When Ocean says that porno has no lesson, Ricky is able to speak up and express his opinions on this subject, contradicting Ocean’s own. Ocean responds to this by completely dismissing everything Ricky said and blaming Constance for what Ocean is implied to perceive as “ruining Ricky’s innocence”. (Quote: “now you’ve got sweet old Ricky Potts saying that porno is magical!”) There are many other instances of Ocean acting demeaning towards Ricky, but this is what is in my opinion the worst and most infuriating one.

Now, I’m not saying that you’re ableist if you like Ocean, or that you shouldn’t like Ocean. I like Ocean, I think she’s a fun character. This, however, does not change the fact that a lot of her actions and comments do read as ableist (because they are) and that she is the main canon source of ableism towards Ricky. Again, I’m not saying that you can’t like Ocean, but her ableism does need to be acknowledged by the fandom, and I wish it could be acknowledged in canon, and maybe in future productions it could be, depending on the director.

Now, let’s talk about the ableism in the RTC community, shall we? Before I continue, I would like to clarify that I’m not trying to call anyone ableist or say that they’re a terrible person because of the things I’m about to state, this is not my intention. I merely want to shed light on why certain things in the community come off as ableist. Specifically, the fandom consensus on SABM.

Generally, majority of the fandom, from what I’ve seen, usually treat SABM as a gross song about a horny teenager. Now, it’s understandable for adults to be uncomfortable with teen horniness, however, what bothers me is a) that completely ignores any and all of the deeper text and/or subtext contained within the song, and b) Noel’s lament, is, too, a horny song, the same length, and nobody seems to shit on Noel for it, like, at all. I have seen so much hate for Ricky because of SABM, but none towards Noel because of Noel’s lament. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been in the fandom long enough, but it still seems weird and biased towards Noel. There is a lot in SABM that goes ignored by most of the fandom, (i.e. the fact that Ricky was so neglected he had to create an entire fake universe of alien cat people just so he could feel wanted by anyone, the underlying themes of love and war that Ricky has created for this fake universe, etc.). The point of SABM is to show that Ricky is not a baby, but rather a normal teenager, and that he is so much more than just his disability, which not many people in the fandom seem to recognize. Ironically, the one time he’s able to canonically speak without being silenced (SABM) is one of the most hated on and neglected things in the fandom.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[violetasteracademic]

Favorite ships:

Of all time

Acotar

TOG

CC

Not Elriel (ACOTAR related)

Secondary fave ship

What ship would you want to live in real life?

Crack ship

A toxic ship you love?

Best fanfic for ship of your choice?

(feel free to send to others)

Meep! Thank you @nikethestatue for this!

Fave ships:

Of all time: Kanej

Acotar: Elriel 🌸🦇 with FERVOR

ToG: Manorian

CC: Night and Day

Secondary fave ship: Ahhhh this is tough. I love Feysand and Nessian for different reasons. I think both of their relationships have bright spots and flaws, but I feel Feysand edges out just because we have so much more perspective of their relationship and they are the OG's! I wish I could read their story again for the first time probably more than any other couple in the SJMverse.

What ship would you want to live in real life?: Genuinely, Elriel. The peace and quiet girlies get it. The house husband girlies get it. I am truly a person who requires a great deal of alone time and quiet time to recharge. I, much like Elain, enjoy a great deal of solitary activities. Writing, baking and gardening. I like filling my free time making something. It gives me a sense of peace and purpose outside of the capitalist hellscape we live in. I have yet to experience a romantic partnership where my "me" time or quiet time was treated as valuable or important. Nothing will ever be more romantic to me than Elain and Azriel simply wanting to be around each other, even if in silence. Sitting together quietly in the sun. Or Azriel listening to Elain talk about her gardening plans, because he is interested in the things she thinks about creating.

It's a special type of connection, to not constantly need high energy conversation to feel close to someone or learn about them. Being at peace with one another, being interested in each other's minds, and understanding what someone else needs to feel calm and grounded, that is really beautiful to me.

Crackship: Ansel and Rolffe, but also Gwyn and Fenrys!! I am a Twilight of the Gods theorist and genuinely believe the Valkyrie will play a huge role in the Ragnarok retelling. Fenrys is one of my fave SJM men, but he and Gwyn have a lot in common. Both were twins who got horrifically SA'd after witnessing their twins murder. Both have a sassy sense of humor, and a long complicated history being loyal to and in service of powerful and short tempered leaders (Maeve and Merril.) I personally see a lot of connections there, and see Gwyn and Fenrys both as side characters in their respective series that may likely become key characters in the multiverse!

A toxic shop you love: Klaroline 🙈 still not over it.

Best fanfic for ship of your choice?: Okay, despite the nearly 100k multi chapter fanfic I wrote in April, I am still brand new to the fic world and haven't read a lot of fics yet! So I'm still gathering recommendations and figuring out where to start! But I did read Pretty Little Angel by DottieLovegood after a friend sent it to me over a year ago, and it essentially became my religion. I can't wait to keep diving into all the talented writers in the Elriel community! I've read some great one shots by @tswaney17 and @bloomingdarkgarden (ehoney on AO3) and have years worth of fics to catch up on!! I'm sorry I'm such a newb 😭 and taking recommendations!

Tagging @faeprincesswarrior @enigmaticexplorer @nikachansstuff @gracie-rosee to see your answers!

[isa-ghost]

Isa my darling! Happy Birthday, albeit a couple of days early.

Seeing you screech in Philza's streams because Apollo hit you with that dodgeball yet again makes me giggle a lot.

How about since headcanon's for qPhilza's past/pre island relationship with qFit. How they got to know each other, and how quickly they became friends?

Idr if I said this on Tumblr yet but deadass I asked Apollo on my pendulum if qPhil is his blorbo and he said yes. He's been as invested in shit as me and it's been hilarious. I literally have crows yelling at me irl to keep writing rn but I'm answering headcanons first.

The entire time I've been distracted between writing these, crows have been yelling at me about it. Which. Is how Apollo communicates with me when I'm not actively talking to him through readings LMFAO.

Also thank you for the birthday wish :D [desperately hoping nothing else horrible happens this weekend please god]

Anyway qPhil headcanons masterlist let's go

Disclaimer that I didn't know of Fit before QSMP (I've only been in mcyt for 4 years monkaS) so these are gonna be largely pulled out of my ass and a lil repetitive.

These two both have experiences in anarchy and war, they've definitely brushed shoulders a couple times bc of it

They admired each other's work ofc. Phil is a macro scale kinda guy, total annihilation and victory that makes a statement. Fit's more of a micro scale kinda guy, zeroing in on one person or group individually and making their lives hell until the end in the name of surviving a little longer

On that note, I think we all sleep a little bit on the fact that Fit is Also a survivalist like Phil, just in a very different set of high stakes conditions. These two are equally skilled in it and equally sharp strategists

On that note, anyone who knew them from the past would fear the idea of them coming together to create a plan of any kind, especially of the anarchist-fueled variety. If the Federation has done their research right, they should know full well how terrifying this duo could be in an effort to dismantle their authority

Btw by brushing shoulders I don't just mean brief passings by, I mean they've like. Camped out for a night together, temporarily truced for the sake of safety in numbers, etc. More than a few conversations have been had even if the time they've spent together totals to less than a week.

However, even when they weren't actively paired together, they'd still occasionally trade or gift each other surplus resources. It was a genuine kind act, even if it simultaneously served as a reason for each of them to not come after the other. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

Like why do you think Fit was one of the first threats on Phil's mind in Purgatory. He Knew(tm). And he knew Fit has an affinity for picking off the weak first, like a lion after a herd of antelope. To him, Purgatory was the awakening of a monster who'd been dormant for a long time.

See, present day they're QPR as fuck, they'd never do this now without 10x the pressure Purgatory put on them, but back in the day they took close notes on each other's strengths and weaknesses. Just In Case, yknow? They could very much kill each other. Back in the day they would've if it came to it, no matter how good an ally they were.

Something about how these two used to be so cold and hard to the world. Be it to self-preserve or some other reason. Something about how now they've both softened and warmed after becoming parents. They never could've imagined the other would "weaken" like this, especially back then.

Phil 🤝🏻 Fit - Phil being a historian of the deities/builds of his Hardcore World, Fit being a historian of 2B2T

A lot of this boils down to mutual respect, common interests, and secret admiration tbh. And what's more homoerotic than that?

They're both crisis preppers. Not doomsday type shit, just. Being ready for shit to hit the fan. They both come from places where life is significantly more dangerous than it is in other realms.

The crazy thing is though? Despite the above, they can't imagine being from each other's realms. Phil would LOATHE 2B2T and Fit would hate the absoluteness of Hardcore. Isolation is absolute, death is absolute. There's no wiggle room or margin for error.

With how adaptive the two of them are due to their origins, they could probably acclimate to any conditions. They'd complain about having to, especially if it was inconvenient, but they could. They used to swap tips & tricks with each other on how to improve their adaptability too.

Fit would've 100% been down to join Phil on Doomsday in DSMP. He was thoroughly impressed when Phil told him the story.

[icy-watch]

^^^^ me with Geo

So so so so so sooooooooooo

You've met GEO

My reasoning for loving him so much stems from Season 2 Part 1 so I can't fully explain

BUT

I can tell you some things that they show doesn't tell (I think):

Geo says that he's a Munch with the color of a Geckle but it's not true; he's half and half

If you didn't notice but only his left ear was pierced; a sign in the Gay community to other gays that you are gay back when being public about it was frowned upon

The man who wrote the episode "Land of Lost Things" and created Geo (I think he made the character) is gay himself! So in a way, Geo is a self-insert character

I am Aromantic. I just don't feel the need or want to have a romantic relationship. And that seems to have stepped over into the media I watch. I don't ship. I'm slightly romantic repulsed. I don't actively hate it, I just don't like it. I'm fine with canon ships like Jaya or Lumity (from Owl House (plz watch it)).

But something about Geo and Cole. Something about how they interact in Season 2 that just.........AUGHAUGHGHHAHG!!!!!!! It awoken something in me. I feel warm inside!!!! I found myself grinning ear to ear.

It could just be the fantastic writing, but it's so much more. The ship for Geo and Cole is called LostShipping and/or Geode. The fanbase kind of goes back and forth. I don't mind either.

I'm still aro, and I still cringe inside at most romance. But Geode is the one exception and the whole #savemyboycole thing is really dumb

Oh look, I did explain it all without spoiling lol

And yeah......there are ppl who are NOT happy about Geo and Cole. They're not even actually together yet some ppl on Twitter are pissy. They HAAAAATE Geo! It's stupid. First off, it's a lego. Second, it's a kids show. Calm down. It's not that bad/important. Some ppl see Cole as Gay (me) and others see him as straight. Both are fine. Both are cool. He's still the same guy.

Oh, and there's no minifig for Geo. I think it's bc of his hair. They don't have like a set piece of it or something.....eh....just make a plushie of him (and of Cole plzzzzzzzzzz) I'd buy 500 if they did honestly

And now that you've met him.....I am safe to change my pfp to GEO!!!!!!!! (I also LOVE his outfit so much!!!! I want it)

(I almost put in a pic of him in Season 2 and was like "Oops....back it up! Can't use that!")

Geo! A blorbo! He's such a bean!

I noticed something right off the bat with him looking like a Munce and a Geckle, so when he mentioned it, it kind of confirmed what I'd thought.

I totally remember the gay ear piercing thing! My cousin and uncle were double and triple checking when they got their ears pierced that they didn't get the wrong ear. And that was in the early 2000s. It's amazing what's changed in 20 years. (Note: this is not the cousin who got married in Malaysia last year. This is his older brother, the extreme goth who hosts the Halloween Birthday Party every year. The 1 where my sister pumped me up to do this.)

Oh! I love that little bit of trivia!

*gives you a virtual hug* I will always love my aro friendlies.

It's extremely rare to see a queer couple that is Comfortable and just Exists. With Geo and Cole, it feels natural and unforced. And I'm very glad for that. It's probably why shipping them feels... nice.

Idk, I'm rambling.

I'm guessing the #savemyboycole thing is connected to chriscreator0 somehow?

A characters sexuality or gender doesn't change who they are as a person, and I wish people who criticize media for including queer characters were more willing to understand that. Just bc something about them is revealed doesn't mean they still aren't the character that they liked.

Justice for Geo! We deserve an official minifig or plush of our pretty guy! I will shake my fist at LEGO until something is done for him.

[valoisfulcanellideux]

Points of interest from today's Pix stream

See behind the cut for some points of interest transcribed from Pix's Empires stream today (fWhip joins in, in chat, too). Included:

endings for the season and fan expectations

fanworks and headcanons, how Pix wanted to structure his S2 to enable fans to run with their own ideas, and how his S1 ending the way it did also enabled that

what Pix would like to do if there's an Empires S3 [speculative only; not concrete plans]

Behind the cut with you!

This led out of a conversation wherein Pix discussed having seen many fans' opinions of S2 ending 'suddenly'/'too soon' and 'unsatisfactorily' and not to their liking, and how the endings could have been better/loose ends tied up more, etc etc (we've probably all seen those opinions and posts repeatedly by now, so I'm not going to belabour them anymore).

First off, Pix very briefly mentions his season end plans:

fWhip (in chat): A lot of people seem to have taken my video as the end.. not realizing everyone will upload their own finale. I didn't do any real lore this season so having a full lore based ending felt wrong

Pix: I've got an ending planned, but it's going to be very much like my ending. And, again, I'm somebody who doesn't have any story to my stuff, really. Like… I became a ghost. Nothing's really happening with that. It's just a fact of my existence now.

fWhip (in chat): I finished building gobland to where I was happy with it, so that was a natural end for me as a creator

Pix: Yeah, like, "Guess what? I'm done building. Series over!" [pause, then mutters] I wish I was done building [laughs]

[discussion continues for a while around fan expectations]

fWhip (in chat): also I think some fans don't realize not all of our audiences love the heavy lore, and if our videos don't get views we can't really keep making videos lol

Pix: Yeah, that's the thing. There's always going to be the most activity around stuff that people really feel like they can get behind as a community. But the communities tend to isolate themselves with other people who enjoy the same stuff they do, right? So, like, folks on Tumblr or Reddit, for example, might get really behind certain creators' approach to lore.

[short discussion about browsing the Empires subreddit and seeing so many posts about Jimmy being a toy, including polls worded in such a way that they're biased from the outset. also how - when fans latch on to certain ideas like that - it can be stifling to a creator, as in 'once you've exhausted that thing but people still want it from you, where do you go from there?']

This next part was what I really loved about this stream discussion: Pix's views on fanworks:

Viewer: Tumblr will come up with lore even if there isn't any tbh

Pix: And that's what I wanted to do with this season. I really wanted to just create whatever I wanted to create, and have it be something that people could speculate about all they wanted to, and any answer would be the right answer. That's one of the things I liked about… [pause] Even though I felt bad having left Empires Season One when I did, and everyone else was very kind in pointing out, like, "You said you were going to leave then anyway, so it's not you kind of left us in the lurch, or whatever"… [pause]

One of the things about the ending of Season One not really being there was that people come up with their own theories about what happens to the Copper King after all of that. And I'm, like, "All of those are correct!" [laughs]. Whatever you think happened, happened. Because that's the fun of using your imagination for stuff like this, right? That's sort of the approach I want to encourage people taking when we do projects like this, is your interpretation is just as valid as ours. And if you want to imagine that stuff, don't always expect us to act on it.

Finally, someone in chat asks what Pix would like to do if Empires S3 takes place. [NOTE: This should not be taken as gospel and what Pix plans to do. He appeared to just be spitballing and chatting casually here, so this isn't a concrete plan, nor is it confirmation that there will be a season 3. I'm just adding this as another point of interest from the stream.]

Viewer: I know you said that you're not sure about Empires season 3 but what would you do if it did happen?

Pix: That's the thing: I really don't know, and that's part of the reason we're not doing a season 3 immediately, if at all. I don't know what ideas would work, I don't know what ideas would be compatible with other people's ideas. Like, I would love to do something that feels a bit more modern, because I don't challenge myself often enough to build in a modern style. I would love to do something that felt a little bit more cyberpunk, in… like a System Shock kind of way. But I don't know for certain if that would be at all compatible with anything else, because Empires in general skews a bit more, like, D&D fantasy, which tends to be more medieval fantasy; European medieval, specifically. And, y'know, there's a few exceptions to that, but I think a lot of the time - because Minecraft itself feels like more of a fantasy world… y'know, there's cobblestone and wood everywhere, and bookshelves, and enchantment setups, and brewing and that kind of thing. It all feels a lot more medieval fantasy than anything else. I just think it's kind of difficult to sell the idea of there being, like, a cyberpunk kind of modern setup in the middle of all these other people who are still playing, like, straight-up D&D. It feels anachronistic, and not in a good way.

[brief discussion about how 'modern empires' could also mean business empires, but that would then mean creators having to build whole cities, which are a pretty hefty undertaking]

[genrihgayne]

I'm working on making my first board game, and it's coming along super nicely! I spent like 2 hours yesterday making card prototypes from index cards. I was gonna start cutting out cardboard circles for the game pieces today, but I had a killer migraine and slept most of the day instead. I'm hoping to get most, if not all, of the pieces in cardboard by the end of the week because the paper pieces I've been using for playtesting aren't in the best shape anymore.

I had the chance to playtest it on Sunday with a friend of mine who's playtested a few other boardgames, and I got great feedback! I just recently became active in the local boardgame community, and my knowledge of games outside classics like Monopoly is still limited, so it was great to hear I had a solid first prototype. It was especially nice to hear because I made the first version when I didn't have access to much paper and no acces to the internet at all, so I was limited on what I could make. I had to rely on dice way more than I wanted to which made the game more repetitive than it will actually be. She was super understanding and a great sport about it, though.

Her feedback was rrally good, too. There's a game mechanic I've wanted to add since day one, but I needed to make sure everything else was mostly balanced before introducing it, and it's definitely going to make playing the game more competitive and increase player interactions. The other main take-away was an alternative way to distribute resources that allows players to tip the odds in their favor for a cost rather than everyone having the same odds. I'm going to try both just to see how it works, but I'm leaning towards her suggestion.

Omg, Anon, this is so cool!! You made me remember times when I was creating board games as a child on school piece of paper. Awww what a warm memory

I'm hoping everything goes smoothly for you and your game. It sounds fantastic! It makes me happy whenever people talk about their passion and when they create something they like

I wish you good luck!! 🌸

[navxry]

i know you haven't been as active (probably because of irl stuff) but I wanted to let you know that your writing has always struck me as something unique and refreshing within the yan community. i know every writer will have their own ideas and writing, but yours is something I'll never experience from someone else. all your twists and turns are written in a way where they have a good build up but are unexpected, and you create an unique world with each fic (or universe) that makes me feel immersed in the story. i can feel how much you love your stories through your writing and i think that's beautiful

(utc, a bit emotional of a talk/response from an ex-writer)

This was probably one of the nicest messages I'll ever get, so I'm gonna put everything I feel here.

Thank you for this, anon. I don't know who you are, I don't know if you're my friend on anon or something, but you don't know how much this means to me. I thought my works wouldn't go so far in the community I used to write, but seeing that it affected you made me happy.

However, you're right on one thing. I've been... really busy. Finals got me swamped for weeks in October, not to mention that I couldn't continue writing for @/yxstxrdrxxm. I refuse to disclose the reasons why I can't write for it anymore, because frankly, it's stupid (and honestly, it's not new for some people) and so I don't bore anyone to death.

I contemplated just keeping this to myself, but decided against it and let this go. After all, this is something that I wished I've known sooner when I used to run the blog (it'd probably make things feel worth it, y'know?)

But anyways, sorry. That's besides the point.

Again, thank you for saying this. Although it's too late (because I don't know if I will un-archive the damn blog, it... Makes me feel empty thinking about it), it made me feel like I'm human to you. I don't know if others who saw it can say the same (except for my friends, hi, I know you see this too), but its... nice.

I'm honestly so glad you can tell how much passion goes into them. Each fic is something more than just words that I've regurgitated to, because it makes me feel that I'm personally in that world, so to speak. Its why its so personal when certain fics (OLC's series of mini drabbles/"date" fics, WotD if I bothered to post anyway, which I doubt lol, standalone ones like Tailor of Inazuma, Losing Patience, and even Alone) feel so... yknow. Alive. Like you're in it, I suppose.

I honestly want people to experience that feeling I do, to feel like they're really immersed in whatever goes on in that fic. That even if it stops at the last word, at the last punctuation... It still leaves a mark on your mind. And I'm very happy to know that it made you as invested as I was in writing it, only that you're reading it.

You genuinely have no idea how happy it makes me feel. And that's me being honest and not "haha, I'm just being a menace". It's more of.. yknow. "damn, someone really likes it? and sees it that way? thats... really nice of them."

Even if I don't write for the yandere community anymore (at least, for a specific fandom, because I personally don't think I'll ever write anything for the sake of getting my name out there), I'm... gonna remember this. Who knows? Maybe you'll see my fics again. Maybe you won't. At this point, I don't even know myself.

Just know that your message was... a nice welcome against the feeling of genuine hopelessness and feeling of being nothing to everyone. It's not as impactful as some may assume, but trust me, it made me feel genuinely human and all that I put out there was worth the pain.

tl;dr: thanks, anon. Your message genuinely made me writing for a year with a yandere genshin/hyv fandom worth it, even at a time where acknowledgement is hard (or even rare) to come around. It made everything worth the effort, more than you may think.

(also, although I wont be writing for the yandere community anymore or more specifically, to a certain fandom that genuinely sucked my happiness dry, I'll remember your message. It means a lot more than you may think.)

Anyways, yeah. thanks for making me feel that everything is worth it, and for making me feel that all my efforts weren't for naught. you're a real one /gen /pos