#i just went back to your blog because i thought you were being rather inactive these days

[osric-giroux-ffxiv]

On Integrity - OOC

Hi there,

Normally I don't do this sort of thing, and I assure you - if you follow this blog for OC content, you'll be back to your regularly scheduled content sooner rather than later (the broody boy will be back shortly, I promise). But for a moment, let's take a step down memory lane and let me tell you a quick story.

In early 2013 I was in my second to last semester of grad school and taking one of my last elective courses. It wasn't a terribly trying course, but it did require a group project with a presentation and a paper (because of course it did).

Shouldn't be a big deal, right? We're all graduate students - some of us just about to graduate, some of us just starting out in our programs, but no one in the class was brand new to college. We all knew the rules.

Cite your sources. Don't plagiarize. Have integrity.

Fast forward to two days before the paper is due and before we have to present in front of the class - one of my group members and myself were on the doc reviewing our parts when I (being a perfectionist) decided it might be a good idea just to check and see how the rest of the paper was looking - make sure things were in order...and noticed that one of the group members either had some amazingly technical writing skills (well above what one might expect for someone who was in their first semester of a graduate program)...or there was a problem.

And oh boy was there a problem.

When compared to the source material it was a word for word match.

And I lost my shit.

Keep in mind...I'm ALMOST DONE with my Masters, and if I hadn't caught this? There goes that degree.

I pointed it out to the other group member on the doc at the time, and between the two of us we managed to re-write the paper, citing the sources properly and without the plagiarism.

Went to class a two days later to present, and guess who didn't know their shit to present - if you're guessing our plagiarizing friend, you'd guess correctly.

I knew enough of the material to pull the group across the finish line - and myself and the other member who had been on the doc a couple days before had a chat with the professor after class was over.

Whatever happened to that other group member - I couldn't tell you, but what I can tell you is that their actions (and inaction) told me quite a bit.

So what does any of this have to do with ANYTHING on this blog? It comes down to integrity.

Doing the right thing when no one is looking.

In the academic world, there are very real consequences for taking someone else's work and claiming it as your own. I almost paid the price for someone doing just that on a project I happened to be assigned to with them.

In an RP setting, there's not a penalty for doing that kind of thing, at least not in the same sense - we just have to hope that people have the integrity and the honesty not to do that to one another.

There are so many stories out there to be told - so many characters to create.

And at the end of the day - I know every person who has an OC has put thought and effort into their characters (can we really quantify how much?) - but we each have to do just that...put in individual work.

It's one thing to be inspired by someone - but do the legwork, put in the effort...do the right thing when no one is looking.

This is a hobby that we all engage in, there are people on the other side of the screen. Respect yourself and the people around you. Be kind to yourself and the people around you.

There's no penalty in the RP world - but a little honesty goes a long way.

Thanks for listening/reading - be wonderful to one another.

[k-atsukidayo]

Hi, idk if you come on to this blog anymore, but in case you do, I hope you see this. I think I started following you a couple of months before the pandemic through you Bakugou fics and at the time I thought they were some of the most beautifully written fics I’ve ever read. I remember having to literally take a break after reading your fics and needing to just sit with my emotions because I felt so…. Touched(?) I know this is definitely going to sound corny, but I think you have an amazing way with words and conveying so much emotions to your readers. I’ve read so many fics over the years (lol I sound old) but not many have caused me to feel so emotional (in a happy way)! I really hope you come or maybe I can ask for your personal blog if you have one, just so I can really personally say thank you for sharing your writing here. I know you went on hiatus for some time and idk if you’re back on hiatus, but I hope this message comes out as something positive rather than putting pressure on you to come back. I just wanted to let you know that I’m really grateful I ever came across any of your fics. Please don’t stop writing, even if you end up just doing it for fun, for yourself, privately, etc. Anyway, I’m sorry if this sounds like rambling. I noticed you haven’t been on here for a while, so I figured I’d let you know my appreciation for your writing before you really leave this blog 😅 you’re such a sweet person and you have an amazing talent for writing. Thank you for sharing it here. I secretly hope you’d come back, but your comfort is still much more important so don’t feel pressured to come back for my sake~ Again, thank you 💗

first of all, hi, you wonderful being 🥺 i haven’t been on this blog in a hot minute, even though i did say a few months ago i was somewhat back and that i’d hopefully be more active LMAO but, i digress. i see this! have seen it for a couple hours now, and i just adore this so much. 

my mind is in a scramble, so i’m terribly sorry if this turns out to be some kind of dramatic monologue. i think it’s best to use this as a chance to give you, and whoever else that may be curious, an update of myself and the current and future state of my blog. read more below!

originally, after the first time i came back from being inactive, i really wanted to post more writings. part of returning was the pressure of having such a dry blog and having developed a weird fear of simply being left behind, and the other part was missing the sweet, sweet opportunities to share with people that had the same interests as me and seeing their interactions, if any. truthfully, i still have a little grief dusted on my tongue, only because i said one thing, but didn’t quite follow through. i’m not sorry that i disappeared, twice now haha since i do strongly believe i needed it and do need it now. rather, i’m sorry i didn’t get to do what i wanted and planned and tried to push myself, in a positive way which i have to emphasize, to do for you and for my own benefit. 

i always wished i could pump out as many fics like my mutuals have. they are honestly amazing! i have endless admiration for them and i hope they are flourishing and enjoying life on here and outside. sadly, i am weak and tire out badly after i complete a single piece of writing 😋 that, and i definitely set myself up to being burnt out during the height of the pandemic. i genuinely wanted my mutuals and readers to like me. i know i write for myself. sometimes i can’t help feel i need others to make me believe i’m good and that i matter somewhere. definitely not very poggers of me, but it happens! i can only do so much aiming to please until i exhaust myself. quietly seeking validation can be hurtful, oddly enough. 

hence the hiatus, but also real-life endeavors! i had, and still have, so many drafts, yet i only managed to release 3 officially LOL which by the way, i guess i don’t mind too much? i’m realizing that, for me, it’s quality over quantity, more so now when i’m working to pull myself together as best as i can. my last fic on here continues to be the one i feel very proud of after being absent and struggling to finish after that absence. it’s the little things! 😬

anyway, to you, my dear nonnie, i haven’t given up on writing! i have hopes and dreams that are alive on my fingertips and somewhere in the corners of my brain. i still breathe stars. maybe, not as bright as before, but still bright enough. you’re so kind and thoughtful 😢 don’t worry. at this point in time, i’m working on stories here and there, albeit privately and super slowly, given my schedule and poor time management skills and all. thank you for your sweet words. thank you for even taking the time to write all this for me gfjhgjfkd!!! i always say thank you, and to be honest, i’m not sure if i can ever find the right things to say (other than my sincerest thank you) to adequately let you know you how much this warms my heart and makes me want to cry LMAO 💖

so, to fill in with what i’ve been up to—work and school plans! i don’t want to bore you with this part because it surely will drag, but it’s really all there is!! the free time that i do have usually doesn’t involve me sitting in front of my computer and writing sadly. i can only clasp my hands together and silently chant for the thoughts to click in the way that i wish they could. writing comes when i’m in the mood, and the mood is sparse in these trying times. with the stress i have, i remedy it, or at least try to, by just relaxing with shows or something, sleeping, working out, video games too even though the one i mostly play tilts me more than calms me 🤡 but that is typically me fashion. and because of my little time (or rather, my poor effective planning), i don’t think i can keep this blog. as you can see, it’s a skeleton of what it once was LOL it’s dead. and while some inkling of me thinks i can make it work and be active somehow, it doesn’t seem feasible anymore especially now that i’m reflecting as i type this out. 

although i say this, i’m still unsure what i actually want to do. i may archive it? perhaps, if anyone wants to come back to this to reminisce, they’re free to do so. i probably would myself since i’m a sentimental nutcase. however, the tiny devil on my shoulder that whispers hey, you anxious overthinker, i don’t fancy the idea of my writings being taken and reposted somewhere else. i much rather delete this blog completely, or private it. if i private it, i can at least keep my name hehe and i’ll consider just giving access to select people if there’s a want for it. i still have an ao3, but only one of my fics is currently posted on there. if in the event i choose to let this blog go, i could transfer all my writings on ao3 and if i ever get around to finishing more fics, they will likely end up there too. it won’t have the same feel as tumblr. it’s something though! and, still very public. eh, my blog’s future is a work in progress like everything else. 

i don’t know. of course, i don’t know. i’m indecisive and my mind is a plague LMAO if you or anyone would like to give their two cents about what i should do, i’m all ears. it may be while until i make a final decision 🤧

nonnie, i love you, i love you. i hope you’re living your best life right now, and if you’re not?? just say the word and i’ll throw these hands faster than lightning!! you have my best wishes and i hope you keep that kindness i see here close to your heart and unbreakable because it’s hard to find people like you these days. again, thank you. i appreciate you just as much, if not more! 💖

[blueknightdg]

We’re Soulmates

---------------------

She was a lovely girl, big blue eyes and midnight hair. We met at a convention. The convention lasted a week and it was in england.

-------------------

I only went to the convention because my father was there under cover. I was bored and wandered around without interest. She was server.

She offered me a pastry, just a was about to decline, a villain showed up. She seemed like a weak girl, so I grabbed her and lead her away. Unfortunately, she was their target. I didn't know why, but they captured her.

I couldn't let them take her, so I tried to get her back. They ended taking me with them. I turned on my tracking device and hoped that we'd be in the same room or at least nearby.

We did, but there were no windows or bars, just thick, see through plastic walls.

I asked her questions to see if I could get a read in what we were dealing with. She was hesitant, but decided to tell me what she could so we could get out of there.

From what she’s said, they want to get information out of her. Her friend was the son a villain, who long ago disappeared when he exposed by said friend. Her friend then went into witness protection and never seen again. Magic was involved and she didn’t want to say more. What’s more, the government of where she’s from erased all traces of what happened so they don’t have such a big blemish on its record. Seemed like she hadn’t meant to say all of that, but she was in a panic.

------------------

I didn’t know when the kidnappers where going to come and she didn’t look like she could handle any interrogation they would give her, so I hatched a plan.

I guided her on how to pick locks with hairpins and I undid hers. We then carefully snuck out. Unfortunately, we were spotted and I carried her as I ran. She was most likely slow.

By the time they caught up to us, Batman and his crew showed up.

--------------

Me and the girl were reunited with our respective families and I never thought much of her again. I did, however, look into which villain her friend was the child of and how well covered up it was.

To say it was almost impressive how well they did was no small thing. Though, a public blog was still up but inactive. Mostly because the person who created it was fiction novelist and amature journalist. They have little credibility, but I’m sure there was some truth to it hidden under all the fantasies.

---------------

I eventually did meet the girl later on in that same year when my sponsored eco event began. I hired her parents to cater and she was there. She was trying to help her parents by being a waitress. They wouldn’t let her, because she was an active member of the event. She was incharge of overseeing children in the daycare. 

When one of the kids took a liking to me, she tried to get them to stop bothering me. The child made things a lot worst by telling me to marry her. She was embarrassed and kept apologizing to me.

I waved her off and just plopped the child her arms. I walked away, hoping she could distract the child. Didn’t work, the child was back and more adamant to play matchmaker.

-------------------

“Manon, just why do you want him to marry me? We don’t know each other!”

“He’s pretty! You’re pretty! You can be pretty together!”

“We are way to young for that. Manon, looks aren’t everything. How would you feel if someone tried making you marry someone just because they thought you’d look cute together?”

“...upset....I’m sorry Marinette, I just wanted to make you happy.”

“Thank you, Manon, but relationships don’t solve problems. Now, please apologize to him for making him uncomfortable.” 

---------------------------

After that we’d see each other once every other event or conference. Eventually, we became friends. She was the one who helped me realize I like Raven and set up dates for us. It’s thanks to her we got married. She truly was an angel.

Figuratively and literally, Marinette died in an unforeseen accident as the group that kidnapped us all those years ago, took her friend and she went to save him. I went with her, as did my family. 

Her dedication to her friend, her loyalty is what got her killed. It was a mess and so many things went wrong. We saved him, but she got hurt in the process. For days, we waited in the hospital, hoping the surgery would succeed. It did not, she flat lined. Her friend cried and so did I. I named my child after her. She was the best friend I never knew I wanted until I met her.

----------

I remember her confining in me that she was tired of being pushed. When my brothers teased and made jokes about us being together, it hurt her. She recalled her friend that was a villain’s son had been confused and toxic when they were younger. He didn’t understand her, that if he loved her that he shouldn’t have done what he use to do before going to therapy. Sure they made up and he got better, but he traumatized her with his pushing. 

When he realize what he did to her was wrong, he apologized and never went near her again, he avoided her. She was confused and had started to believe his old behavior was okay. It hurt her to agree with him that he should never be alone with her ever again.

----------

My brother’s teasing got so bad that she snapped and started crying. I was really mad, I glared at them.  We told them once, we told them twice, we told them so many times to stop it and they didn’t listen. She was forced to open up and tell them things she didn’t want to say. She told them how she had rather to love on her own terms and not be pushed into it. She didn’t trust her own decision in love and rather not deal with it at all. I was happy they felt so guilty. She was like a soulmate to me. A sister that truly cared and understood my feelings.

My brothers did what they could to show her how sorry they were and gave us both space. 

----------

I didn’t talk to them for a good four years. Eventually we did talk again and I wouldn’t let them near her for several months after.

My gosh, do I miss her.

---------------

Raven understood. She was as close to her as I was. I tried to move on and so did she, but she couldn’t handle it. We talked and our marriage wasn’t going to last if it kept up. We let our daughter decide on if we have joint custody or she’d go with either of us.

-----------

She didn’t want either of us. She was mad. We hadn’t talked for so long, that by the time we reconnected, I was an old man.

------------------

Before I went, she talked to me. She had finally understood and wanted me back in her life even if mine was ending. She was there even if Raven couldn’t. Raven had moved on from Marinette’s death at last, but with regret, she would then have to move on from mine. 

She aged slower than a normal person. She still looked so young compared to me. I told her how beautiful she was.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything?”

“I’m sure, at the very least I want to die like a normal person.”

She smiled at last, “Please, you’re just happy to see your sister again.”

I chuckled, “If they let me.”

She frowned, “Of course they will,” she spoke softly.

“You are a good person and I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you again.”

“I hope so.”

With that I closed my eyes.

--------

The End.

Not all soulmates are romantic and not all ladybugs get together with someone. I just really wanted one where they don’t fall in love and prove that she didn’t have to have a lover. She’s a solid person that’s not defined by what other people believe after all.

[kaleidescope-writes]

Domestic King!Thomas Hiddleston Headcanons

Based on Heart of/Life in Audrilluria.

Heart of Audrilluria Masterlist

Life in Audrilluria Masterlist

Warnings: Extreme Fluff!! Soft Tom, Tom in general (this man needs a permanent warning), the Wonderful White T-Shirt, mentions of seggs, and some hecking words.

When it cames to Thomas, domesticity isn't something very common (given the uh... you know... king status). However, this only makes it even more special and cherished when you have a day off.

On the rare occasion you have a day off, the morning will start late, waking up at 10 am rather that 6 am as usual. Normally, you're awakened by a knocking at the door.

For these days, Thomas makes plans weeks in advance. Plans for the two of you to do absolutely nothing all day. He's a king 24/7. He needs at least one day every so often to relax and remember what it was like to interact with others for something other than royal business.

When the knocking at the door wakes you up, Thomas INSISTS on opening it himself and letting you rest a little longer. He's a gentleman, afterall. After greeting the person at the door, he walks back in with a cart containing breakfast. An assortment of your favorite fruit decorated as if they were flowers. A couple plates of your preferred breakfast meal. And a fresh beverage of your choice.

Thomas walks over to you, greeting you in a soft, deep voice still croaking with sleep. Placing soft kisses all over your face and neck with every word he speaks, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. Now sitting on the bed with your back pressed to his chest, he let's go momentarily to bring you breakfast in bed.

After enjoying a meal in bed and having a few extra cuddles, you both get ready for a day to yourselves.

Thomas is definately dressing up casusal for once in his incredibly busy life just to have a nice relaxing day with you. Honestly, you're surprised he owns a T-shirt. Nonetheless, you spend about half an hour admiring how good he looks in that snug white shirt. (You know the one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

He notices you staring. Its kind of obvious. He lets you look just a little longer, smugness building, before he smirks letting you know he knows. "See something you like, darling?"

Immediately walks over to hug you whe you get flustered after getting caught. Continues to tease, but lets you hide your face in his chest.

Or maybe, you get smug too. If you do, be prepared for his to retaliate with every ounce of smoothness in this man's body. It's enough to almost make your knees give out... Almost... If you keep going, he will persist, his only objective is to make your knees weak only so he can help you stand. If he is unsuccessful, well, let's just say he knows other ways to complete his objective. And well, he'll probably need to call the servers to send up a late lunch and skip dinner. Just to give you a small break to replenish your energy before the next couple rounds. 😘

That damned white shirt is magical.

Anyhow, the rest of his day off is spent in the massive castle library. Remember the one from Beauty and the Beast? That big. Its a damn maze. (An it also has a directory).

You spend the whole afternoon or evening( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) either reading while cuddling with him on one of the many couches in the library, having him read to you in his soothing voice, or discussing books you've read in a miniature book club. It's such sweet way to bond and you'd expect nothing less from the educated gentleman that is your majesty<3 boyfriend.

You count of time every day off, just because it's too peaceful to think of anything else. The latest you've stayed in the library is half an our past midnight. And just because one of the castle guards went looking for the two of you to let you know it was already tomorrow.

Every once in a while, one of the servers will stop by and bring you food and beverages just to make sure you don't spend too much time without sustenance.

After a long day of just being a couple, you retire to your shared room, eyes heavy with sleep. The entire time it takes you two to get to the bedroom, Thomas has his arms around you, holding you close while continuing to have a conversation with you. (By the way, The look he gives you as you talk about anything at all tells you just how much he loves everything about you. The softness in his eyes as he hangs on to every word you speak)

As soon as you get to the room, he will pull you towards the bed and lay down with you. He'll wrap his arms around you tightly and not let you go, despite your protests (or lack of).

He won't even worry about changing out of his day clothes. It just you and him in a blissful moment that he wishes would last forever.

Once sleep starts to creep into your eyelids, Thomas will kiss your forehead, lulling you to sleep as he tells you about how much he enjoyed the day spent with the love of his life.

The final thing you hear before finally giving in to your tired mind is his soft voice.

"Goodnight, my love."

This was long overdue, but it's finally done. I wanted to have this done yesterday for his birthday, but life happens and my wifi agreed. Anyway, thank you so much for reading!! I'm sorry for my recent inactivity, I am making an effort to post everything that is overdue, but it'll take some time. I hope you enjoyed, I missed you all, and I hope all is well in your small corner of the world.

Also,

Thank you so much for 402 followers!!!

Words can't express how much it means to me and how much I appreciate every single one of you!! Thank you all so fucking much for this, I never thought so many of you would like what I do. I love you all!!! Thank you!!!🥺🥰😍😘💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Taglist is OPEN

@ladyblablabla​, @tvdplusriverdale​, @pipolaki​, @myraiswack​, @shockwavee​, @harringtonb-blog​, @cynic-spirit​, @little-moonbeam-666​, @ochizokulevy​​, @swifitiedaylight​, @blue-honey-bee-from-france​ @scorpionchild81​,  @imnotrevealingmyname​ @whathefuckrichard69​ @frostedgiant​ @falling4uke​​ @accio-boys​ @ashcrimson-is-writing @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @allthecreativeonesaretaken @hunterofartemisblog​  @sea040561 @strangersstranger

[keiths-stupid-mullet]

❤ I am loving this meme. I am discovering so many great blogs and your positivity and enthusiasm are great to read! (Paladinspride is my VLD blog)

DSKFJGHDKSJ THANK YOU AAAAAH ♥♥♥ I met lots of awesome people in this fandom and I can never talk enough about how much I love them tbh. Most of the blog you discover aren’t all that vld oriented anymore... but I can vouch for the people running it, they are all A+ the bomb~

SPEAKING OF AWESOME BLOGS

WHY DON’T WE TALK ABOUT YOURS?? :D Because I absolutely know your blog. @paladinspride you draw a lot of amazing klance art and I adore you for it!! I also saw your additions to the same height klance post and thank god I’m not alone with this ♥♥ We haven’t really talked yet but from what I’ve seen you’re very open and considerate of others. This fandom needs more people like you, awesome content creators that have opinions and stand for them but don’t attack others over it^^

*not accepting anymore heart asks*

[shakks]

Thoughts

Happy New Years, I suppose. I’ve got a lot on my mind that I need to say, but I’ve been reluctant to do so. I’ll ramble off-the-cuff for a little bit (a LOT) down below if anyone can be bothered to listen. Just some random unedited and unformatted thoughts about what I’m doing with myself and trying to figure out how life works.

...Seriously, it’s a massive post. Don’t strain yourself if you’d rather not.

I don’t like to speak often, or give excuses. I prefer to let my work do the talking. Actions speak louder than words, right?

It’s funny, I did a search through my blog and found a post where I had celebrated hitting 200 followers two years ago. Curious, I checked my follower count now... And it’s at 206. I think it’s more than safe to say that I’m beyond stagnation. Still, I’m here to see this adventure through to the end, one way or another, regardless of how long it takes.

Actions speak louder than words... I’m sure my inaction is speaking volumes. I’ve always made it a point not to apologize when an update is missed or when I make a mistake. I have a bad habit of holding myself to unrealistic standards, and not only would I be apologizing with every update I make, I would draw attention to issues that few people would have noticed in the first place (such as me forgetting to draw Phobia’s hair in one of the panels from earlier this month). The LuFa from ten years ago would have dropped everything to fix it, and then would have combed through every other panel, worrying about every other possible thing that could have gone wrong. At this point the LuFa from today is just glad that there’s an update to post.

When I made the post last week about not being able to update, it was because just as my Christmas holidays were starting, I hurt my back. I’m not sure how (I’m guessing in my sleep or something), but I’m not able to sit at my computer for more than an hour without taking many breaks. I had intended to continue updating all the way through the holidays, but I ended up spending more time than usual resting in bed and attempting to stretch, walk, exercise, or try anything to lessen the pain. This has killed any creative drive that I had, and rather than power through it, I thought it would be better to stop trying to grind myself against it and take it easy so that I can hit the ground running. I’m starting to feel better now and hope I will be able to get back to the updates as early as next week.

This raises the question of my update schedule. Why the long pauses, and why the sudden rush of updates in December? The pauses are simple, I keep trying to outdo myself with each update. Even though I’m trying to step away from full Flash animations, I still catch myself leaning towards them. It’s not the animations themselves - I’ve caught myself designing overelaborate gifs when just a couple static images would do fine. I let myself get stuck in this spiral where I would constantly build myself up and then tear myself back down. I would get caught up in it and let entire years pass me in the blink of an eye...

I’m not old, but I feel old. I still have most of my life ahead of me, but it frankly isn’t much longer until I hit middle-age and that is no longer the case. As a child, my parents pushed me to try as hard as I can. They’re the type who want their kid to go to university, become a doctor, and make a boatload of money. I gave them a hard no on the doctor path, so they sent me to university to become an engineer instead. I went through it and got the sheet of paper, but never really figured out what to do with it. I ended up moving across the country and settling for a job that by all metrics I should be overqualified for, but I’m not too sure that I really care. I’m making enough money to live quite comfortably, but I’m still living alone, and don’t really have anything else to my name. It was always hammered into me to be successful, but I never really understood what being successful meant. Looking at other people from the outside, I can make a few guesses that success generally means owning your own place, having a family, and lots of money to make sure you’re still able to support it all. I don’t really know about all of that. I just wanted to be left alone. Mission accomplished, but I still have to figure out what I’m supposed to do with myself...

I used to run forum adventures even before I was aware of MSPA or Problem Sleuth. I remember how happy I made my peers, and how much joy they got from engaging. I started Waterworks in my second year of university, when I had moved into student housing and finally had that loneliness that I had been craving for most of my life. It was strange, but that first year of Waterworks... I don’t think I had ever felt more fulfilled. The act of telling a story to anyone who was willing to listen; it truly felt like this could be something that I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. Not as a career, but purely because of its ability to engage people and make them feel things out of the ordinary. I truly want to keep doing this, even after Waterworks is finished. I can never give a straight answer when people ask me if I’m happy, but to be frank, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier after posting an update, engaging with readers, and furthering the story. It’s a little unorthodox for a life path, but the more time I spend on this planet leaves me even more uncertain of everything. I’m going to stick to what I know.

So, aside from getting stuck in a self-esteem spiral, what prompted the surge of updates this month? Well, I had a little bit of a reality check. The company that I work for was acquired by another company. Normally I wouldn’t have cared, but this has happened several times now. In my short tenure at this company, I’ve seen it grow from a small local operation to become part of a massive conglomerate, and this latest acquisition really had me questioning what I was doing with my life and what I should truly value. My job technically requires me to help people, so I go about my day believing that I’m doing just that - It’s not about the money, or the benefits... I work because it helps others. Meanwhile, board members and investors who I’ve never met - people who control the entire direction of the company and its employee’s livelihoods - are passing it and other companies amongst themselves as if they were trading cards. This forced me to stop and take a look at what I was really doing. I thought I was helping people, but really I’m just making numbers go up and down for the people upstairs. My coworkers are only doing it to take the paycheck and feed their families. I’ve been placing a disproportionate amount of value into my day job, a place where people who I’ve never met could cut me loose in the blink of an eye just because I didn’t make the right numbers go high enough.

I’m not quitting or anything, it’s a great place to work, but it got me thinking about what it means for someone to value something. Bizarrely, my thoughts turned back to MSPA, and what happened to Homestuck. I’m not clear who owns which rights to the adventure, and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t profit off your own creation... but I DO remember when the MSPA forums were taken down, seemingly without reason, and we were all cut loose by someone upstairs, be it knowingly or not. The forums were down for many months, and now a bare bones version of the site that it used to be is up, managed by a publishing company. Thinking about all those posts that were lost still hurts a little bit.

The company I work for being acquired had some eerie parallels to not just Homestuck’s forum situation, but a couple of other projects and franchises that have grown too big and have had their creators cast their fans to the wayside... If I ever manage to rebuild my reputation, I don’t ever want to let anything like that ever happen to anything I make. If Waterworks truly matters to me, then I need to act like it.

[anticatradoraofficial]

Announcement!

So, now that I think I’m done with my pity party (I’m sorry about that btw), I’m back!

I’ve also got a few things to say...

Firstly, I would like to thank you all so, so much for your kind words and support. I truly do appreciate every single one of you who has had nice things to say about me and my blog.   Since I’ve been gone, I’ve been given an overwhelming amount of support (and surprisingly, even gained some new followers despite being inactive on here?). I also noticed some of you like to read though my blog and like and reblog my posts, even when I’m not actively updating. It makes me happy that people who appreciate my posts and share similar opinions were able to find me (or at least, understand where I’m coming from). Now with that being said... I don’t know if I’m going to be as active on here as I was before (I’m not sure yet). I remember reading a quote a long time ago that went something like: “It’s better to love the things you love in life, than to hate the things you hate.” I usually tried to follow that quote as my “life inspiration” for the last few years now.  I usually like to focus more on things I love rather than hate, but this ship has made me so bitter and disappointed (for so many reasons) - I ended up doing something I thought I would never do: I ended up seeking out a community who hates a ship. I wanted to find people who had a love for She-Ra, but felt the same way about the ending that I did.  I want to start moving away from this fandom now though, for many reasons. Mostly for a combination of feeling like “it is what it is” and nothing is going to change that, AND also, because frankly, this is one of the most toxic fandoms I’ve ever personally been a part of. Throughout the years I’ve been in a few anime fandoms with canon lesbian characters and lesbian undertones (Madoka Magica was my favorite years ago); and I hardly ever saw ANYONE behave as immature and rude as some people in this fandom behave. I was good friends with people who shipped “HomuMado”; but they were completely open-minded toward people who didn’t like the ship, or people who shipped the main characters with other people. In fact, shipping the non-canon ships was actually really common.  (They also didn’t flip out if they saw ship hate in the main tag? I remember seeing “anti” posts against it in the main tag, because of how Homura behaved in Rebellion, and literally everyone agreed that it wasn’t the most healthy ship? The whole fandom even had an ongoing meme “Homura did nothing wrong”, to joke about the fact that Homura made mistakes and wasn’t perfect. Even her biggest fans admitted that she did some bad stuff). Anyway, so the aggression in this fandom is really off the charts, and I want to move away from it.   Don’t worry though, I’m not leaving for good, and I have a TON of drafts (posts from other blogs and my own posts) saved up, so I’ll still be posting stuff for now.  Lastly, I also think I’m going to start blocking people. I’ve never been the type to block people, because I always wanted to try to stay open minded toward other people’s opinions; but I’ve come to the conclusion that some people just won’t agree with me no matter what I say. People will see this blog and automatically demonize me and my opinions, because I don’t like something they like. They already have set in their head that I’m a “bad guy”, no matter what I say.  I don’t have the mental energy to argue with anyone.  I made this blog for people who feel the same way to have a sense of community, not get into fights with anyone or look down on people for not liking something I (we) don’t like.  With that all being said. Hope you continue enjoying my blog!

[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, Jessie, you have been accepted to AL for the role of Molly Weasley (FC: Christina Hendricks). Yes, Jessie, our favorite mom figure in the series! Molly is just such a gem, and I’m so excited that you’re bringing her here to this group! You have an excellent grasp on Molly as a character and that really shines through in our application. I love the concept of Molly as a social worker, and even though she’s currently a stay-at-home mom, I have so many thoughts as to how those skills could bring her into play in the broader plot. Well done, and hopefully we’ll get a Fabian soon so that we can see Molly deal with the death of Gideon alongside his twin! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist.Welcome home, we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — jessi age — 26 pronouns — she/her timezone — pst activity level — 7. i just started back at work this week after 3 months of shelter in place, so my activity might be a little bit lower over the next couple of weeks while i get back in the swing of things, but once i’m back in the routine, i’ll be fairly active.

IC Overview

name — margaret “molly” olivia weasley age — 36 gender — female sexuality — bi patronus —

An Elephant: A witch or wizard with an elephant for a patronus can be extremely strong and not just physically, they are often wize and have strong spiritual connections with their communities and know where they lie within them.

Being part of a herd, in no way, means they are just like everyone else, they do things their own way and will only use brute Forse is necessary, usually choosing to consider others and mind what they say.

This patronus indicates a kind an gentle caster who if not careful can drift into anxiety leading to aggression if they don’t have their herd near by. Often, they spend hours trying to look after everybody else and forget to take care of themselves.

The elephant has strong family ties and has great perception, empathy and sence of self. Although they may take longer to develop their skills they will flourish to a greater extent than others.

Bonus fact: the elephant herd Is a matriarchy and the bulls go off on their own when they reach maturity. The elephant is a sign of strong femininity and affection. [x]

boggart — her family dead. The idea of losing loved ones (and this doesn’t include just blood relatives. It includes close friends as well) terrifies her. She loves so deeply and the idea of losing loved ones and being left alone in a world where this war is getting worse terrifies her.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

positive:

Maternal - If there was one constant personality trait that had followed Molly from when she was younger, it was being maternal. By the age of five, she had twin brothers to take care of and she flourished in the mothering department. She was always doting on them - making sure they were warm enough, making sure they weren’t hungry, making sure they had the attention they needed, which is something that she can still be found doing now that she has children of her own.

Passionate - Molly has always been passionate. Whether it be about her children, her education, or by the simplest thing like knitting. There’s no in between with Molly - she’s either not interested or immensely passionate.

negative:

Stubborn - One could say her children were already taking after her in this department. When she believed in something, she didn’t step down. Her and Arthur have gotten into plenty of arguments because of her stubbornness. She hates backing down, even if she knows she’s wrong.

Overbearing - At times Molly can come across as overbearing, though that’s not her intention. She only wants the best for everyone and her idea of what’s best might not line up with their idea of what’s best. It’s the maternal instinct in her that tries to push them into doing what she believes is best.

character biography —

Molly Weasley’s family life growing up was your typical 50s and 60s home life. It was straight out of a movie - a doting mother, a hard working father, a redheaded daughter who was as innocent as the next child. Her father, Carl Prewett, worked for the Ministry of Magic in the Improper Use of Magic Office and her mother, Margaret Prewett, was a primary school teacher for children of witches and wizards.

It was often said that there was no doubt that Molly was Margaret Prewett’s daughter. She was a spitting image of Margaret with a personality to match the older, fiery redheaded witch and because of this, they were often at each other’s throats (much like Molly’s future relationship with her own daughter). There were, however, minor differences between the two. Where Margaret was more abrasive and unwilling to stand down, Molly was a more diluted version of the older woman. But that didn’t take away from how close the two of them were. Molly went to Margaret for just about everything.

Then there was Carl Prewett. Many people were often surprised to find out that Carl Prewett had married Margaret. Where Margaret is very abrasive, Carl is gentle. Where she is very hot-tempered, he is very level-headed. While Molly picked up most of her personality traits from her mother, Molly had picked up her love of vinyl records, hard work, and compassion from Carl.

Being the oldest daughter had been a blessing in disguise for the Prewett parents. When they brought home not one, but two brothers for Molly, she instantly went into maternal overdrive. But that isn’t to say it was always rainbows and sunshine. Molly often found herself outnumbered two to one with various jokes about poop, farts, and burps. Then there was the constant prank pulling. They gave her hell, but she loved it.

Getting her Hogwarts letter wasn’t much of a surprise to the Prewett family. Molly had showed signs of magic from an early age. When she finally made it to the castle she had heard so much about from her parents, Molly flourished. She met people who would become life long friends. She met people she thought she would grow old with, but no longer would grow old with. But through all of that, she met Arthur Weasley. Over the years, they became close. Through that closeness, Molly fell in love with the redheaded man that reminded her so much of her father. He was the gentleness to her abrasiveness, he was the level-headedness to her hot-temper. He was her best friend and when they became an item in their late years at Hogwarts, she was over the moon.

When the pair of them graduated, they moved in together and both started their paths to start their perspective careers. Arthur went into the Ministry and Molly started training to become a Social Worker. Within a year, the pair of redheads were married and a year later Molly was a certified Social Worker and within another year, she was pregnant with their first child. Over the next eight years, Molly and Arthur welcomed four more children, the latest being a set of twins. During those eight years, she decided to become a full-time-mother - her way of Sticking It To The Man™. She loved being a Social Worker, but she loved being a mother more. But now that tensions are rising, she’s afraid of what might happen. She would do just about anything for her family.

plot ideas —

i would love to explore how molly dealt with the death of her brother, especially when she had kids and his twin brother is still alive. whether it be another family member, someone she vaguely knows, or someone she thinks of as being family.

extra —

“Freshly Baked Bread: warm, inviting, kindness. you are the definition of cooking as a loved language and are at your strongest when creating something. others find you soothing to be around and feel at ease due to your genuine warmth and nurturing nature. you can be a mix of gentle and passionate, but it’s that intensity that lives at the centre of your spirit that draws people to you most. compatible with: candle smoke, coffee, rosewater.”

“GRASS.The Grass type is all about life. Whether you’re watching nature grow, or allowing the seeds of a newfound friendship to blossom, Grass-types focus on the creation of things, rather than the destruction. Like a study oak, you’re a patient individual, though sometimes your relaxed demeanor can border on inaction. You enjoy personal relationships, and always are one to give a gift to a friend, or jump for joy at the smallest display of kindness. You truly like to believe in the best of people, it seems. This attitude is noble, but it can get you into trouble, Grass-type. You need to remain in control of your day-dreams, and make sure that your emotional compass doesn’t lead you to harm. If you can maintain a smile through the grit of the world,”

[kyloreyorgana]

STAR WARS 9 ! TROS SPOILERS !

In case this is not obvious enough, this post will contain SPOILERS for the last Star Wars movie, which I’m just now coming home from. These are my first thoughts. I have tried to tag as best I could so that people who mute the tags don’t see my post. Do not proceed f you don’t want to read any spoilers.

You have been warned. Long (and I mean LONG) post ahead.

First of all, I’m happy to be back y’all! Just with TLJ, I come from months (or has it been years already ?) of inactivity to jump right back into the fandom, as obsessed as I was back when I came home from TFA. Which is funny because at the time TFA came out, I had lost all interest in Star Wars and heard so many critics from people who’d seen it and said it was horrible and that Disney basically sold the franchise to the devil that I didn’t even want to see it, to keep the good memories closer to my heart. One night, one month after its theatrical release, I thought “aw fuck I might as well see it, at least for Carrie, Mark and Harrisson” so I went to the cheap theater that was near my home... I had zero expectation, and really I think it’s the reason why I loved the movie so much. I didn’t chose to ship Reylo, this ship whacked me like Harley Quinn’s oversized hammer with the Hades and Persephone aesthetics. When I came out, completely mesmerized with what I had just seen, I jumped on Tumblr as soon as I got home, and I ended up creating this blog just days later. I wanted more and more, fics, metas, fanarts, headcannons, theories, cracks, I could never get enough. For TLJ and TROS, I had lost most interest in the fanfics and the fandom (because as much as I love the movies and some people in the fandom, most of it can eat shit as far as I’m concerned). I heard so many critics of TROS already, I was afraid I was going to be disappointed. But I loved it. Only Star Wars can make me go from utterly uninterested to “Wow I can’t wait to see this new Star Wars in theater, what a time to be alive”, to a stage of total obsession that lasts for months. And that is the reason why I don’t give two shits about anyone disliking the movies. It’s sad you didn’t like them, but it made me feel the same way I felt right back when I was a child watching the original movies with my father. It feels like home. And that is the best thing I could ask for.

Like in TLJ, I cried as soon as I heard the first note of the opening. The last Skywalker story, the last time I ever see my Space Mommy on the big screen...

I know the Reylo community is about to be nuts. The whole movie, like TLJ before it, is basically a series of things we’ve already done in fics and theories. I am 100% positive I have read a fic where Rey and Ren try to hold back a ship with the Force and Rey ends up involuntarily shooting lightning. Whichever one of you did it is probably going to have a stroke in the theater. I nearly did.

And really, I wish I could see the look on the Antis’ faces when they see the movie. I’m sure it is a sight to behold. I wanted to scream “TAKE THAT, BITCHES” more than once. As in TLJ.

My biggest fear was what they would do with Leia. I knew Disney said they wouldn’t use CGI and chose to stick with the scenes Carrie had already shot, and I was afraid it wouldn’t honor Leia’s legacy. Well I... have mixed feelings. While the way they used Carrie’s scenes and made it look like she really is here is to be lauded, it sometimes feels like Leia had nothing interesting to say but they tried to put her in a dialogue anyway, because she needed to be seen doing (or rather, saying) something in the Resistance. And about her death... I still can’t put my finger on what exactly I didn’t like about it but I felt like something was missing. Watching the scene, at first I didn’t know if she was having a heart attack or if she stabbed herself or chose to give up her life because she somehow felt it was the moment, I’m still not sure just why she did what she did. I wish they put something more to motivate her decision and explain what exactly she does. I don’t know, a flashback of Leia holding baby Ben, a little more dialogue, something. Not just Leia suddenly getting up and going to bed whispering her son��s name. 

I knew I was going to be disappointed. Among all the celebrities’ deaths, Carrie’s is the one that affected me the most, and believe me I was a wreck when Bowie passed. I miss her, I think about her every single day. And Leia deserved more, much more. When I saw TFA, part of the reason why I loved the movie was that, even though it pained my heart that Han and Leia’s son turned out this way, I thought they would make it right. I spent hours imagining a scene in the 9th movie where Ren would defeat Rey (incapacitate her the Skywalker style cutting her hand or something) and approach to give the killing blow, and Leia would enter the scene, pick up Rey’s lightsaber, look her son dead in the eye and say “Over my dead body, son”. Because Leia would never give up without a fight, even with her son. And she would get her son back, and her story arc would have been completed. I would have paid good money to see this. 

Episode 9 was supposed to be Leia’s movie, just like ep. 7 was Han’s and ep. 8 was Luke’s. When Carrie died, I knew it would be compromised and it broke my heart, because Leia deserved better. She lost everything. Her parents, her planet, her father, her husband, her son, her brother, the Rebellion, the Resistance, everything. She fought all the way, all her life even faced with the worst odds she never gave up hope, she inspired hundreds of people to keep fighting for what is right, and she would never have a satisfactory ending. What a fucking heartbreak. She didn’t even get to see Lando. Leia deserved more. Every little girl in this world who grew up with her as a role model deserved more. But c’est la vie, as we say in French... My only solace is that I know fanfics and fanarts are going to make me feel a little better about it.

Of course I cried every time I saw her on screen, and especially when they honored her body, as we all honored Carrie when she passed away. This was one of the many fanservice moments, and surely the one I liked the most, although there was some concurrence (more to it later).

Another thing I didn’t like is what they did to Poe’s character. Many people disliked TLJ because of it, which they attributed to a political agenda of hate on men. This is so ridiculous and has already been debated enough that I won’t get into it. I did like the evolution of his character in TLJ, because for me it was an interesting character development as well as a good message: wartime is not only about barging in fights head first, shoot first think later, as is, let’s be honest, everything Anakin ever does. At one point, the narrative of the reckless hero who saves the day when a situation seems impossible and everyone begs him not to do it gets old. Sometimes in war, you have to think ahead, to plot, and yes, listen to what your allies have to say. And it actually was a good critic of toxic masculinity. Could the conflict between Poe and Holdo have been avoided with minimally sane conversation ? YES. But the message was here (as were Holdo’s hair and dress and WOW gurl) and I thought that was it, and Poe would evolve into a wiser person.

But this Poe is, at least in the first half of the movie, not very likable. Hear me, I never really liked Han Solo (never been into macho men) but I really loved Poe in TFA because he was genuinely nice and brave. Here, he’s bitter and annoying. I told myself that he was jealous of Rey because he heard of Finn’s crush on her and he wanted to keep Finn all for himself, which I know is just a crack headcannon, but hey, anything to make it better I guess.

Of course, I’ll never forgive Disney for not making FinnPoe a thing, when even Oscar Isaac ships them hard. And trying to make Poe flirt with the other girl (whose name I even forgot and whose face we didn’t even see, now tell me again how Star Wars has been corrupted by feminists... sigh)  Speaking of, it is me or did two women kiss at the end ? 

I liked the new droid, it reminded me of my puppy. But at the end, it was just another fanservice moment, it didn’t really do anything useful onscreen apart from being cute and funny.

When Rey was finally revealed to be a Palpatine as I hoped, I giggled like a wee girl. Watching TFA, I begged the old gods and the new that they wouldn’t make her another Skywalker, because it would’ve spoiled the Star Wars spirit for me. The whole franchise, in my opinion, is a story about fighting for what you believe is right, no matter who you or your parents are or where you come from. Even though Luke and Leia’s ended up being Vader’s children, they weren’t the only meaningful characters. Anakin was basically a Space Jesus and went from a total nobody to the Chosen One. I didn’t want Rey to be a Skywalker because it would mean that your importance would only ever lay in your bloodline, and that is depressing and totally against the spirit of the Rebellion/Resistance: no matter who you are, you can fight for what is right. For this reason, I wished for Rey to be either a real nobody or Palpatine’s granddaughter, which is also why I liked the fact that Han and Leia’s son turned out bad, even though it made me sad for them (Leia didn’t deserve this). No matter your bloodline, you can always make things right, or fuck up badly if you let yourself be taken away. And, of course, the reveal that Rey and Kylo Ren are two sides of the same coin (aka one of the many times where I picture us Reylos screaming CALLED IT in our seats) was exactly what I hoped for, a beautiful balance. I didn’t share Palpatine’s implication that a Palpatine and a Skywalker are meant to work together, though. That is not how I choose to interpret this duality. That is not what they end up doing, anyway.

Speaking of that old pal Patine, seeing the trailers I feared I would feel nauseated that they chose to reanimate the Big Old Villain, just like they reanimated the Even Bigger Death Star in TFA (how lazy can you be ?). But I enjoyed it. What saved it was Palpatine’s will to be killed by Rey to perpetuate the Sith rite of passage. I don’t even care if it’s cannon or not. I was afraid they would recreate Vader’s dilemma in ROTJ with Rey, but I liked the choices she made. And the throne scene worked for me. Like the rest of the movie it was flawed, for instance we don’t even get an explanation on how he survived. Just like we don’t even get what Finn wanted to tell Rey, even though it was emphasized several times. Was it a love declaration ? What happened to the rushed romance with Rose in TLJ ? (What happened to Rose, actually). While we’re at it, why did Palpatine want Ren to kill Rey ? So many questions. So many flaws.

And, of course I cannot comment this film without mentioning my sweet star-crossed lovers, Rey and Ben. First, I’m really eager to see your reactions. We did it, Reylos! Years of hate and slander and we were right all along. Let’s rejoice.

I like Rey’s evolution. For the moment, I don’t feel like I have too much to say about it (which is fine because this post is way too long already). I like the way she handles her emotions, I like her choices and her character evolution. 

And Ben. Oh, sweet Ben. Although I think the part where he gets his old mask fixed wasn’t necessary, I kinda like what they did with him as well. I must say though that I liked his hair in TFA better.  Oh boy, I loved Kylo Ren but I absolutely adore Ben Solo. And I think the way the movie depicts him even surpasses some fics. The moment when Rey gives him the lightsaber and he gets up and does the Han shrug  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I almost lost my mind. This ties with the hommage to Leia’s body as my favorite fanservice moment.

And their relationship... Look, I know I wet my pants really enjoyed myself in TLJ when they held hands, but that scene felt rushed even for me who ships them with the force of a thousand suns. Like many things in TLJ (and, as I said, also in TROS) it felt like things I had already seen in fanfics, but in the fics I enjoyed the most Rey had tried to kill him at least 5 mores times before even agreeing to have a one-on-one conversation with him. Their romance in TLJ felt like it was hormone-driven, but I get Johnson couldn’t really do a slow burn in 2 hours. When Leia died and they both felt it in the Force, I could feel that Rey wanted to touch him, to confort him, to grieve with him. I’m glad she didn’t. It wasn’t time. And I really like that she told him she wanted to hold Ben’s hand, not his. And Ben, the Dork Knight, finally realized that if he wanted The Girl, he shouldn’t, you know, threaten her and chase her but get back to the Light Side like she begged him multiple times. Because he really isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, this is apparently what makes him choose to tip over. That or the fact she saved his life. I was still frustrated by Leia’s death so I don’t know if I’m not entirely convinced because it happened just after, I’d have to watch it again. I liked Han’s moment, though.

And in my opinion, Rey and Ren’s fight on the wreck of the Death Star is as good as Anakin and Obi-Wan’s. My Reylo heart will always have a special place for their couple fight in TLJ (aka the best non-sex sex scene in cinema, don’t @ me) but I also liked this fight in light of their relation. Surprisingly, it reminded me more of their fight at the end of TFA, when we see Ren holding his blows and Rey barging in. I thought it was endearing.

The end. Oh my god, the end. I can’t wait to see the first gifs and I really really can’t wait for the HD gifs, because oh boy, I now only live for Ben Solo’s smile. That’s it, I found my will to live, my depression is cured. And the way he handles Rey’s body with the utmost care (while Finn apparently watches it and does or says nothing). And that kiss... And the SMILE. And the KISS. 

Oh, dear gods. Oh dear.

I can’t wait for the first fics in which Ben doesn’t die and they live happily ever after on Tatooine or Naboo or wherever they damn want. Or the fics where he is indeed dead and they still share a beautiful relationship (if Force Ghost Luke could get his X-Wing out of the water, I’m eager to imagine what Ben would do with his Force dick, tongue and fingers. Forgive me, it’s getting late and I’m still flustered thinking of their kiss)

And the fact that she declares herself a Skywalker ? I know a lot of people are disappointed in this, but apart from the fact that she completely deserves the title in my opinion when she inherited the will of both Luke and Leia, which is reason enough, she is absolutely married to Ben and deserves her place in that family. Also, it’s again a beautiful way to remind you that bloodlines don’t matter as much as what we choose to do with our lives. And while I’m glad they showed Leia’s Force ghost (I would’ve been really mad if they didn’t) I’m super frustrated they didn’t show Ben’s. What am I to believe, that he gave his life for her, became one with the Force and vanished into litteral nothingness for him to never be seen again ? Like hell I don’t. Again, counting on the fics and arts to right this wrong.

The movie sure has its flaws, and I still have many unanswered questions, like what the fuck is the badge Maz gives Chewie, or how Rey does her lightsaber staff at the end, and I wish they explained some things better. I wasn’t sure if the saber Leia wanted Rey to have was hers or her mother’s. Most of those questions will be answered by bigger geeks than me in this fandom, so I really can’t wait to read from y’all.

I know a whole lot of people are going to hate the movie. The antis, the gatekeeping trve fans (already I’ve seen people say that those who enjoyed the movies are not Real Star Wars Fans and welp, we’re going to see a lot of shit). The manbabies who genuinely believe in a feminist takeover and see equality as a direct threat. I’m specifically happy they will be disappointed while I got the privilege of enjoying Star Wars as much as I did. It’s not my fault, or Disney’s fault even, that they turned out to be on the Empire’s side. And the day has not come when I defend a megacorporation. 

Leia was the first SJW. The Resistance lives on. People will always fight against evil, like it or not. I know the world is a shitty place and we don’t have much hope nowadays for things to get better, and Star Wars has always motivated me to keep going and stick to my values and my convictions. I felt chills several times in the movie, like at the end where everyone comes to fight, and now I’m more willing to keep fighting than ever. For Leia.

Godspeed, Rebels! 

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

Karma Chameleon Part 5

In which Marc keeps being awesome. Because he is. 

And Adrien... doesn’t come up too well in this... Sorry to his fans!

------------------

Marinette was exhausted. Hawkmoth had attacked Friday night –debut of Cocorico- and now Monday morning – Guest Starring Rena Rouge-. Did he not know weekends were sacred for a teenage girl? And now she had to deal with Lie-la and her lies. And the cold shoulder everyone else was giving her… except Nathaniel, Alya and Nino… and sort of Adrien. She was glad to have them (and Marc) on her side; otherwise, she was sure she would have been akumatized since the day Lie-la showed her sausage hair in class.

She remembered how she felt the first few days, how furious she was at how Lie-la had been all clingy and possessive of  Adrien, even with him being clearly uncomfortable… but she had found herself less and less furious each day, especially after remembering that Adrien knew Lie-la was a lying liar who only lies… and kept quiet about it. She had tried talking to him about that, but he only kept saying some nonsense about taking the high road and how no one was being affected by her lies, which really didn’t sit well with Marinette. She was at least thankful that Marc hadn’t been present that time, or he would have kicked Adrien’s shapely butt into next Friday. Adrien’s passivity was a huge turn off, and while she still had her crush, it was harder to justify his actions –or rather, inactions- even if he was being affected personally.

She also missed talking with Alya all day, but had to admit that having Nathaniel as a bench mate wasn’t so bad. He was funny, and although he wasn’t very talkative, they communicated through silly doodles. They also had bet on how long would take Lie-la to claim to be Rena Rouge (she lasted a week, and see how that turned out), and they were counting her lies. Her record was 20 in a single day, including starting a rumor about Marinette and Nathaniel dating now. Marinette had been slightly amused, Nathaniel was a bit annoyed, but surprisingly, this particular lie had made the others more talkative.

Juleka approached their table at lunch. Marinette, Nathaniel, Marc, Alya and Nino were eating together.  She asked them about the rumor (No doubt inquiring for her brother), just as Marc was drinking from his soda. The soda made a return trip through Marc’s nostrils and couldn’t stop laughing for a few minutes. After that, he was very overly dramatic, saying he wanted to be Marinette’s Dude of honor at her wedding with Nathaniel and other even more ridiculous stuff. Nathaniel was as red as his hair, and no one could contain their laughter.

Juleka got the joke, and after a phone call (which they were very sure was to Luka) she apologized to Marinette and Nathaniel for believing that rumor.

And then she got to school and the Lilakuma happened. By the time Marinette had returned from the locker rooms, the adults had done some damage control and had taken Lila to Mr. Damocles office, while giving them a little more of time to eat, since the Akuma attack had interrupted them, and they had to deal with Lila. Marinette was still amused that Lila’s name was technically “Lila Lola”, and even more amused that Chloe had used her bitch powers for good. Chaotic Good, but coming from Chloe, it was still something to comment about.

Marinette reached the cafeteria with Nathaniel (Alya was uploading the fight to the blog, and Nino was getting food for the both of them). To their surprise, Marc and Chloe were sitting together and talking in a civil manner. Marc waved to them.

“Hey guys! That fight was awesome! A shame Miss Mendeliev didn’t allow us to join you… But we were able to see everything from the windows!”

Marc was very excited and wasn’t even trying to hide it. Chloe looked amused at this over stimulated puppy she found herself with.

“Oh, I thought Chloe was awesome enough to sit with us, so I invited her” Marc said with a smirk. “Especially after taking out the Queen of Lies”

“Pfft, her lies weren’t all that good; a five year old could have come with better stuff.”

“Ah well, at most she was a duchess, I guess.”

“Whatever, I’m only having lunch with you guys because Sabrina is still grounded from siding with that Lie-la before” It was hard to tell, but Marinette couldn’t help but notice a hint of joy in Chloe’s words. Was she happy that Marc had invited her?

“What you did to Lila was wrong” said Marc in a deadpan tone. “You could have been meaner, Lila deserved it. ” He added with the biggest smile he could. If Chloe had been a closer friend, she probably would have been glomped into oblivion by the over excited puppy she found herself with.

“Thanks?” Chloe was clearly uncomfortable, but grateful. It was obvious she was struggling interacting with people in a normal way instead of her usual haughty self, but Marc seemed to be going extra friendly for her. It really helped that he had never been personally bullied by her. Marinette could even swear she heard Chloe actually laughing at one of Marc’s jokes, about Lila, but still.

By the end of lunch break, Chloe and Marinette had relaxed enough thanks to Marc, while Nathaniel was still his silent self –although he smiled and laughed a lot too. – The others saw the table with some wariness, as the sight of Marinette hanging out with Chloe was a bit disturbing, not to mention they still hadn’t recovered from the Lilakuma.

They returned to the classroom when Miss Bustier went for them to the cafeteria. Marinette looked around, and noticed some of her classmates were looking at them, trying to be inconspicuous of it. OF COURSE they were now realizing what kind of asses they had been. And probably were in awe of Chloe’s destructive powers. Not even a Cataclysm could have created such havoc.

Lila was of course nowhere to be seen, not even her things were in her seat. Adrien asked about her.

“Due to… her behavior… and the consequences it might carry, her mother decided that she will be attending another school… And grounded for a long time.”

“Is it true… that all she said were lies?”

“Unfortunately, yes. She never had tinnitus or a sprained wrist” Miss Bustier looked disappointed in Lila more than anything. The others understood the implications. Not only they had vanquished Marinette to the back for nothing, they had placed their trust on someone who didn’t deserve it, and had just played with them. Alya felt lucky that she had taken down Lila’s videos, Nino was glad he never got the time to make a demo for her. The whole class felt gloomy the rest of the day.

As the bell rang, the class went to the lockers to retrieve what they would need for the afternoon, and it was there that Adrien decided to approach Chloe.

“Chloe?”

“Yes Adrikins?”

“I can’t believe what you did to Lila! That was mean even for you!”

Marinette couldn’t help but turn to see them. The rest of the class that was still in the locker room also paid attention, even Alix, who seemed to be making amends to Nathaniel.

“What”

“I know she was lying, but her lies weren’t hurting anyone. It was wrong of you to call her out like that! And you even involved her mom and the teachers! I barely recognize you anymore.” The last part was said with a sad tone to it. Chloe was shocked to hear this. “I don’t think I can be your friend anymore”

“She just did what you didn’t have the guts to do” Marinette had never seen Marc as serious. “And for the record, she did threatened Chloe, so don’t even dare go with your ‘high road’ nonsense again”

“Again?” Chloe was confused. She seemed to have warmed a bit to Marc since lunch break.

“Adrien here has knew about Lila from the beginning, but unlike us, he didn’t deemed necessary to expose her”

“YOU KNEW?” Alya and Chloe reacted at the same time. Nino seemed shocked by this.

“Well… yes. When she claimed she was Ladybug’s friend, Ladybug herself appeared in front of us and yelled to her to stop lying.”

To everyone surprise, Chloe slapped Adrien. Not hard, but still it shocked everyone. Chloe’s eyes were watering, clearly trying to hold tears. She stared at Adrien’s shocked expression for a few second and then left, angry and confused. Marc and Sabrina went behind her.

“Be glad I’m more worried about Chloe than mad at you, Agreste!”

Adrien was about to protest, but found himself facing Alya and Nino.

“Adrien, you let Alya post Lila’s lies on her blog, potentially ruining her credibility, you let Rose write letters to Prince Ali, you let me get excited about meeting a famous director, and you say Chloe went too far? NOT COOL DUDE!”

“And just to be clear we are not blaming you for Lila ‘s lies, that was on her, and on us for believing them, but, seriously? We didn’t believe Marinette because we thought she was jealous. We didn’t believe Nathaniel because we thought he was acting on his crush on Marinette”

“I’m not crushing on her anymore” Protested Nathaniel weakly.

“Yeah, sorry about that… But Adrien, we wouldn’t have any reason to doubt you!”

“I just… Making a bad guy suffer has never turned them into a good guy.”

“Adrien, dude, I consider you my best friend, but that’s completely BS. By that logic, Ladybug should just stop fighting Hawkmoth!”

“That’s completely different! Lila’s lies were harming no one, and exposing her only made her become an akuma.”

“For the THIRD TIME. Even Ladybug said it was bound to happen sooner or later!”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me if they have to face her yet again sooner than later”

“Yeah, Adrien, I’m sorry, but I’m going to leave right now before I say something about you I MIGHT regret later or attract an akuma over that damn liar.”

The rest of the class agreed and left before anyone did anything else. Some shooting dirty looks to Adrien. Marinette looked sadly at Adrien, but before she could said anything, Adrien left, clearly annoyed.

----------------

Hopefully only one part left. Will Adrien change his ways? Will he be akumatized? Will people stop teasing Nathaniel over his crush on Marinette?

[magnoliarps]

exposing gleeunionhq

Hi! Hi! Before you read any of this I just want to confirm that I’m not a rpt blog or anything and I personally don’t enjoy spreading negativity into the rpc because at the end of the day we’re all on here on our computers playing characters in rps and we should just have fun instead of tearing each other apart which is why I’m not tagging anyone from that rp or revealing names, I just included the rp name so people know they should be wary before applying and it’s why I’m not including members names in the post because I don’t think they deserve to be blacklisted for being a part of the rp (even if they were the ones who caused some of this)

I’d also like to say I don’t have screenshots to prove each and every single thing I bring up and you’ll just have to take my word for it (because it’d be pretty absurd to make this up) but some screenshots have been included since I did screenshot some things before I left the groupchat (and i didn’t think to screenshot everything at the time)

Alright, SO I’m not one to want to “expose” rps. Like what you do is your prerogative but there have been some things come to light in recent weeks that I just can’t ignore and when it involves OOC things I feel like it needs to be discussed? But GLEEUNIONHQ is a glee rp (i know i’m a glee rper sue me) and the glee rpc is kind of known for being shitty so I didn’t even think anyone would care.

So, a little preface is that I ran a decently successful rp back in 2019 and it was @ohiohq​. If you were in it and had a bad experience in it, I’m sorry and don’t worry I had an awful experience too and it’s why I decided to close it down because it just wasn’t what I wanted. There was so much going on OOC and IC that it just didn’t seem relevant enough or worth it to keep it open. Now multiple members from this rp (that I thought I was friends with) started up a new rp that had the similar vibe as ohiohq; a glee family secrets rp and that’s no biggie because there were hundreds of them before ohiohq and there’s gonna be hundreds more, but their URL is stolen, from me.

Once again, this was no biggie because it was a short lived rp (that they were in) that I deleted but that was just one minor red flag. Then it was the fact that right off the bat you could pick up 8 characters which is fine if you can handle that many characters but it got to the point that it was just this little group picking up ships for each other, and this group is also notorious for using aliases so there’s a good chance there’s someone in that rp playing like 16 characters (but that’s just speculation) which is totally okay but don’t say you want more members or keep it as a public rp when you’re clearly content with just having yourself and select few members be the main focus of the rp instead of actually wanting to be a welcoming, open rp.

Now onto an anecdote from a former member (like i said i won’t reveal any names or such), I was informed by a mutual friend that this member wouldn’t be comfortable sharing their personal story or screenshots just because it was this bad of an experience but since it semi-included me I felt the need to share it. Basically, this member and I were both playing characters in the same family. Since this was a secrets RP my character’s secret was that she had been kicked out of private school for having sex with a teacher. Now a run down of the secret; the character was 18+ and the storyline was that she wasn’t aware of his profession because it happened over summer but I wanted a reason for her to be kicked out without it being like “she bullied someone” or “burned down a building”. Now with this, a couple more characters came in (both played by the same person) and they both involved [ TW: child pedophilia & rape ] a character being raped as a child and another involving a character sleeping with his mother’s friends since he was a teenager (the character in question now being an adult). Now I personally don’t have issues with these secrets, it wouldn’t be my own personal choice for a character but if that’s the way you want to take your character in, then that’s your choice.

However, this former member had an issue with these secrets (and ultimately chose to leave due to this) because it wasn’t something they were comfortable with. From the best of my knowledge, on their view, they explained their issue with it and they thought the admin was essentially brushing them off. What that member had shared with the admin ended up being shared in another group chat, now I took it upon myself to message that member after because I felt like I was being semi-targeted with my secret as well (since it fit that characteristic) and offered to change the secret. They had informed me they would just rather leave and I respected that decision of course. Now at the time, I was upset because it felt like someone had left because of me and because I felt like something could have been done? Like I said, if that’s a part of your characters then you do you but if people are visually upset and possibly triggered by it, you should at least offer it and these members just got upset because this person wasn’t comfortable with their secrets.

Something else that happened that I thought was weird was they wanted to have under 18 FC’s just because someone wanted to play Jenna Ortega and Olivia Rodrigo? But if you’re going to have mature themes, you shouldn’t allow under 18 FC’s and they tried to justify it if they didn’t “do anything dark with the character” even though I could list five alt FC’s for Jenna & Olivia that are 18+.

Now onto MY personal experience; more or so another member’s but it’s what ultimately led me to leave. This person and I had communicated fairly frequently and even shared our own concerns about the rp and she just eventually went inactive on her accounts because she wasn’t feeling the rp anymore which is totally normal? Or at least most people would consider it normal. Now she had another “friend” who she had plots with. For the sake of not confusing anyone the former member will be referred to as A and the current member will be referred to as B. So, A played two characters which were B’s character’s sister and B’s character’s girlfriend. After A’s characters got reopened, B went ahead and said her character went through a breakup (totally normal), and when A asked for her character back they continued the ex plot but A just still wasn’t feeling the rp and left for good. Now B took it upon herself to take things to the groupchat without naming names but you could clearly tell who she was talking about, it wasn’t secretive at all.

Now I understand being upset about losing a plot, it’s frustrating but to take it to an OOC chat? Say “I dare her to try and talk to me OOC” just made me so uncomfortable and frankly made me feel gross. Especially when A had paid to have gifs made for B since the FC she was using wasn’t a popular FC so to see someone talk about a “friend” that way was just so weird and upsetting and I didn’t want to be a part of that negativity so I left. Here’s the three paragraphs I sent: (you don’t have to read it all but it shows I clearly put thought and care into my message because I did think of everyone has a friend)

Now, this is what I got in response from the main admin:

Obviously this made me so upset because here I made sure not to offend anybody or make someone feel like something was their fault, and I got one sentence in response. But the biggest kicker is, she sent the same message to A word for word:

So, clearly a lot has happened in this rp that has gone unnoticed and I just hope this shines a light on the people in this rp and encouraged them to fix this behavior because it just seems ridiculous to me? But if you’ve had a personal experience with this rp or members feel free to message me and share your experience because with all of this I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff I haven’t seen!

And may I say, please do not direct hate to the main or admins of this rp. Just because they did some shitty things to some members doesn’t mean I think they need to be canceled or bullied for their actions. I just want them to be held accountable as adults and know that this isn’t appropriate behavior. <3

[hajimailhinata]

Hey. Are you listening..?

Of course you are. I’m the one who hasn’t been listening. So, let’s talk. Friendship is about open communication, after all, and although I’ve done this sort of thing before, I think we all know this time is a little different. So... I’m going to talk for a bit.

So. Long time, no see, huh? Or I guess... you’ve been seeing me every day. But it hasn’t really been the same. I don’t know if you’ve sensed it, but for me, it’s impossible to deny. Worst part is, it’s not like I even forgot. I- Well. First of all, you know what’s going on, right? I’m talking about all the asks. The ones I left alone for.. I would estimate around a month, huh? Yeah, I didn’t forget those. They’re pretty much all I’ve thought about, when I wasn’t busy rereading them, and I still didn’t answer a single one. So I owe you an explanation. 

It’s a poor one, but you deserve to know your voices were known. I just didn’t have the voice to say anything back. And I’m not looking for forgiveness. So let’s get into it.

..This winter has been really difficult. You can probably guess as much, since that’s when everything started to decline in terms of my activity. If I had to pinpoint what went wrong, I can kind of trace back to a particular event, but it’s not my place to get into it. But a lot piled up. I met people, I experienced a lot of unfortunate events, and mentally, I’ve been in a horrible place. I’ve meant every word I’ve written, but it’s taken me forever to scrape them out on the daily, which is why more often than not, I don’t post till last minute. It’s why, if I’ve felt a little more distant at all... It’s because my heart’s been in it, but only because I’m desperate to salvage something.

It started simple. I had that one good day where I answered a whole bunch of messages, but then... Every time I halved the count, I got double the amount back. There was just no zeroing it out, so I called it quits for the night, and that’s where it all got messed up. I can’t answer certainly what kicked it off aside from my mood, but I found myself looking at everyone’s messages and blanking out. So I’d say I’d do it the next day. Then the next. Then the next...

It became less a matter of procrastination once I hit the two week mark. Around then, it turned into shame. Because how was I supposed to answer you guys like nothing happened? I’d let everyone sit there in radio silence. Some of you... who really needed immediate reassurance. How could I do that? I wasn’t sure how to get back into things. Mostly, I couldn’t forgive myself. So I just hid from it. And everything accumulated even more. And... with every new message, I was even more discouraged, since there were so many words I had to say and no way to properly say them. No way to face you.

Some of you consistently tell me that it’s no big deal, and it’s important to take breaks. But it is a big deal. Because while I’ve technically been meeting my daily quota, I lost sight of the core of what all this was supposed to mean. From the start, it was meant to be about you guys. I said I’d step into the future with you, but when you extended your hands to me, I left you hanging. I left you alone. Maybe that doesn’t matter to most of you, since there’s more casual asks than urgent, but the very fact that any urgent ones exist period weighs infinitely heavier on my conscience than anything else. You’ll tell me not to apologize, but there are a group of people out there who needed me, and I didn’t say anything. They aren’t the majority, but their existence matters immensely. I can’t just brush that off. And neither should you.

Half the problem with answering things was everyone’s kindness, at that point. Because I know, very intensely, that I don’t deserve it. After what I’ve done- or rather, didn’t do- there’s no reason for you to have faith in me. I failed you, and that’s all there is to it. I said I was your friend, but I haven’t been here for you. Not at all. And for those of you in the Discord, it must have been worse, knowing I’ve actively been online and then watching me accomplish nothing. What’s that about?

I’m so sorry.

I’ve thought about this... maybe every day? I thought it was too late to say anything, and I might as well leave things be. But it took hearing from someone, hearing how their life has changed for the better and knowing they credited me in part for it... to remember the point of things. There was a point all along; No matter the quality or quantity of the response, putting in the effort to offer reassurance, comfort, a helping word or two... That stuff matters. The effort itself is proof that for that person, someone cares. Just saying anything, a difference is made! And I lost sight of that. I really did.

The mental toll I’ve been under doesn’t equate to how strongly I care for you. I should know that in every night I’ve agonized over this sort of thing. My only solace is knowing how many other similar blogs have been cropping up, so I can at least think that maybe you’ve had other people to talk to. Other friends. And- Maybe even everything I’m saying, even for the people who were asking for advice, this is way too much. Maybe I’m thinking way too highly of myself. But what if I’m not? If there’s even a slight chance I hurt someone, it’s unforgivable. It has to be addressed. I have to be held accountable.

..I’m angry at myself. But I’m mostly sorry. This isn’t the future I promised you. Even if you say it’s okay, even if everyone actually didn’t mind, this inaction is the opposite of what I represent. I'm giving you my deepest apologies.

I can’t say things are going to change or get better. I’m no better. Everything’s kind of a whirlwind, and while that doesn’t justify me, I’m just being honest. That’s why I don’t want forgiveness, and I don’t want anyone trying to tell me otherwise, and... I don’t want you to stick around if I’ve disappointed you. Because you deserve so much more than that. I know what I did. I was conscious every moment of this. All I can do is say sorry, and hope that forcing myself to own up to everybody will get me back into shape.

I want to try harder for you. I really do. But we’ll have to see the extent to which I can go, the way things stand. Thank you for bearing with me all this time, and if you have no idea what’s going on, don’t worry too much about it.

I’m grateful for the support, but don’t waste it on me, alright? Put it towards yourselves. You’re stronger people than I’ll ever be, and I’m wishing you the best if I continue to fail you heading forwards. You’re... always in my heart. Whether or not I’m a good thing for you, whether or not you still like me, whether or not I’ve left you unanswered, that much is true. Always. Please don’t let any of my shortcomings throw that into doubt. I’ve never once stopped worrying, although. I guess it’s pointless to say, now. So don’t worry about that, either.

Sorry for all the trouble, and.. yeah. Thanks.

[fallout4companionsreactions]

Hello! I found your blog only a couple hours ago and I already love it! My question was could you make a reaction to the companions cheating on Sole and getting caught by an unforgiving Sole? Thank you~!

Oooh, interesting idea! Finally found time amongst all this college and whatnot to write some reacts! Also, extra lengthy as a poor apology for my inactivity!

--------

Cait: Cait wouldn’t ever cheat, she was too loyal to Sole, and frequently threatened Sole with several brutal punishments, including mulation and the loss of all their blood, if they ever even thought about cheating on them.

Curie: Sole’s eyebrow raised when they stepped into the room, Curie dead asleep under the covers with a mysterious human-like bump next to her, her shoulders bare and shining slightly under the strip of moonlight that invaded the room through the cracked window (MacCready’s fault, of course, he just hadn’t fixed it yet). Had it been anyone else than her, Sole might’ve considered her cheating on them, but as they tugged the covers aside, a dog-head popped up and a pink tongue lolled out, Dogmeat looking just as pleased as the now sleepy, blurry-eyed Curie. “S-sole?” Her voice was a low sleepy mumble, and Sole chuckled before shushing her. “Go back to sleep.” They said, although the woman had already passed out again, clearly having gotten little sleep during Sole’s week-long mission. Dogmeat crawled down to the foot of the bed and Sole fell asleep with their arms around their lover and a happy dog on top of their soon numb feet and legs.

Danse: Normally, when one was caught in the act of cheating by their partner, they would apologize, try to make up for it. Not Danse. Danse stood, ignored the woman who scrambled away and without caring about his lack of clothing, stood in front of Sole who was trembling and trying not to either yell or cry, hurt by the man’s actions. “It was necessary for the mission.” Sole’s jaw dropped and they stared unblinkingly at the man, stoic in features but the slightest hint of regret in his dark hues. The man was a soldier and obeyed any commands given from one of a high position, so when Maxson commanded them to infiltrate the copy-cat soldier unit that was wreaking havoc under the name of the Brotherhood of Steel, he didn’t hesitate. Even when sleeping with the top commander turned out to be the way in. Appalled by the man they thought they had got to know well enough, the survivor turned and ran, and was therefore unable to see Danse’s face contort into pain and his hands grip his hair aggressively, pain and conflict painted all across his face. Split between his loyalty and his love, the man completed the mission, but after a month of sleepless nights and longing, he went rogue, seeking out Sole at one of the settlements he had helped build up. Finding them, sickly and weak from grief and sorrow, Danse nursed them back to help despite the coldness and defensiveness they treated him with at first, but eventually after many weeks, Sole warmed up to them again and they become stronger than ever together. Never did Danse regret leaving the Brotherhood after that, and when they were brought down from rebellion and moles on the inside, he barely grieved, knowing he had little friends left there anyway.

Deacon: “It’s not what it seems like.” Deacon was known for being a liar, a fraud, a cheat, but right then, right now, Sole believed him. They’d known the man for quite some time, and the look in his eyes and feeling in their own heart lead them to believe the man, their head nodding up and down and prompting a relieved sigh from the sunglass-wearing man in front of them. “You have five seconds to get your skinny face out of here, or you’ll be missing half your skin.” Sole’s threat was enough to wipe the sly smirk off the woman’s face and completely naked she ran out of the house, narrowly avoiding nicking herself on the large hunting knife in Sole’s hand. The two shared a laugh and after replacing the duvet - they’d rather not continue smelling her horrible death-like perfume on the cloth - they laid in the bed together, silent and content to just be at peace. “I’ve never been attacked with the treat of sex before, nor have I been as terrified of a woman.” Sole laughed and gave him a kiss on his grinning face.

Dogmeat: Dogmeat had begun tagging along with Preston more, much to the sadness of Sole. They’d become convinced they’d lost Dogmeat to the other man, but upon turning a corner one day and spotting Preston giving Dogmeat treats, Sole turned around and left, only to return with a tire iron and an icy glare. No one had the right to bride Dogmeat away from her! No one commented on Preston’s black eye and limping walk the following weeks, well away by the smug look on Sole’s face as Dogmeat padded along besides them what had happened. No one messes with Sole’s Dogmeat.

Hancock: It would be a lie if Sole hadn’t expected Hancock to be like that when they first met, but as they got closer and eventually become a couple, several star-gazing and deep talk episodes later that first judgement had vanished completely and Sole put all their trust into the man. That’s why it hurt especially bad when they walked in on the man with not only one but two women in his bed, the scent of alcohol and drugs in the air little excuse. Hancock knew he had screwed up and quickly threw the women out in the attempt of salvaging something, but it was too late. Sole spent the next hour yelling at the man with tears down their face, the ghoul silent and just accepting the words thrown at him. When Sole stopped and collapsed into a sobbing mess of grief and hurt, the man defied her

MacCready: The young man was near tears as he fell to his knees in front of Sole, who couldn’t stop staring down at MacCready with a look of horror and heart wrenching disappointment. They’d stepped into their shared home in Diamond City to see their lover in bed with one of the women of the city, the flushed woman scrambling underneath the covers but not making a move to run, probably because Sole was standing in the doorway. Completely ignoring MacCready’s nudeness and fueled by hurt and anger, the lone survivor pulled out a pistol and aimed it at the woman at first, causing her to shriek in a horrible tone and scramble out the backdoor that Sole nodded her in the direction at with a demeaning glare. A sigh was heard from MacCready, the man believing that Sole had forgiven them, but the survivor then turned their gun to rest against the now terrified man’s forehead. “Out.” “What? No, let me explain-” “No explanation will be good enough. You broke my trust and your promise, you’ve got to go.” MacCready kept protesting for a few minutes, begging and pleading but when Sole broke and started yelling with tears down their cheeks, their tough facade crumbling under the intense grief, MacCready gave in and left. He spent the next months trying to make up for it, but when Sole vanished from the face of the earth, he had to give up after a few months of searching. None of their other companions would tell him where they had gone, most of them actually didn’t know. Sole was gone.

Nick: “Sole…” For the first time since they met, Sole flinched back from the man’s metal hand, the sadness in Nick’s golden hues undeniable as he stared at the figure of his loved on retreat slowly backwards. They’d never shied away from him before, but now they did, as he stood without a shred of clothing on his nude form in the middle of their- no, now it was probably just his’ room, a newly arrived member of the settlement hiding in vain underneath the covers. Without another word, sole turned and ran out, Nick’s hand stretched out into nothing for a few seconds before a sigh dropped from his mouth, eyes closing, head tilting down and arm falling limp at his side. “You better be out of here when I get back, Clara.” He’d got some major apologizing and making up for ahead of him.

Piper: Sole had returned home a few days early to surprise their lover, but the gifts they’d brought for her fell to the ground when she heard sounds from their house. Sounds they’d heard from Piper before but only when they were together at night, not like this. There was a foreign voice mixed in, yet slowly they realized who the voice belonged to. Sole didn’t even enter, they should’ve guessed that Piper’s urge and lust for news and gossip would eventually trump their relationship, especially since Sole was away a lot lately since a raider group had arisen and was causing trouble in the south. They took off the ring and tied it to the door handle, well knowing that Piper was most likely wearing a matching one right now, the mere thought of her cheating on them whilst wearing the ring they gave them making them nauseous. Turning, the survivor left, and no matter how many ‘missing’ posts Piper posted, Sole didn’t look back once.

Preston: “Sole, Sole, please stop! Let me explain, I didn’t… well, I did but I didn’t- stop!” Preston followed Sole all the way out of the settlement, pleading for them to stop but they continued, and after two miles of them ignoring the man, he finally gave up and watched them walk away, knees on the road and hands limp along his sides. A few hours went by before the man was spotted dragging himself into the settlement, only to turn around and leave again once he was met with distasteful and disappointed looks from the rest of the settlers, a few even yelling insults or throwing stuff at him. They all loved Sole, and hated Preston for hurting them like that. It took a few months for Sole to return and they were greeted with smiles and cheers, but never did they consider heading to the smaller house a bit outside of the walls of the settlement, where they knew Preston would be living at. They wouldn’t risk getting hurt again, but they knew the man was watching them and was just waiting for the courage to approach them again. A few months later, half a year after the incident, Sole showed up after a week-long trip with a new partner by their side. Preston was no longer spotted in the area, and rumors said he had moved down a settlement in the south.

X6-88: X6 didn’t understand. No matter how many times he sent himself to repair, no matter how many experts looked at him, he couldn’t get rid of the blinding pain burning inside of him. Why did he see Sole’s teary eyes at night when he looked at the stars, the same stars he had enjoyed the view of for months with Sole? Why did his chest hurt so badly, but there was nothing wrong? Why did he not feel the need to shield and protect his body when a doctor went rogue with a gun in the middle of the underground facility? He was fixed up after that incident, but even a change of 90% of everything in his body proved fruitless. The burning pain did not go away. He identified it as guilt and sorrow after an older doctor began talking aimlessly about his past life with his beloved wife, the troubles they’d faced together and the things he’d done and unintentionally hurt her. When the man shed a tear as he spoke about her storming out after discovering him with another woman, only to be found and killed by raiders a mere mile away, X6 felt the pain increase from the familiarity of his story compared to his own recent one, but it mixed with something new. Worry. What if Sole had been killed after storming out of their house as well? After discovering him with someone else because that was what the mission required? Running out of the underground Institute, startling quite a lot of bypassers and doctors in the process, the black-clothed synth was on a self-assigned mission - find Sole and figure out how to make up for the hurt he had caused. He would not spend the rest of his days with pain in his chest and talking about their lost love like the old doctor.

Maxson: A tiny sigh dropped from Sole’s mouth as they stood in the doorway, Maxson’s mouth opening and closing as he tried to formulate the slightest bit of an excuse or explanation for his partner, the woman behind him scrambling out of the door past Sole, the slightest hint of a smirk on her lips as her mission had succeeded - getting Maxson into bed, and Sole showing up only made it better. She’d definitely be telling her girlfriends about this and how Maxson was in bed! That left Sole and Maxson, who had managed to get a pair of pants on in the meanwhile and was approaching Sole. The raising of their hand in front of them stopped the large commander in his tracks, and his eyes watched them sharply as they approached slowly. Sole stood in front of the guilt-ridden man, pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek, turned and left the room. The message was clear, and Maxson fell to his knees. The Brotherhood leader spent the next two years desperately searching for Sole, but he never saw them again, although he knew that even though he found them, they’d still be just out of reach of him. There was no fixing this.

[shookethbrooketh]

We Click

Description: Dan wanted to meet Phil in real life, but Phil kept refusing. Dan was confused and heartbroken; after all, they clicked so well. Finally, Dan decided he needed to get to the bottom of Phil’s feelings. 

Genres: Fluff, Angst, Oneshot, 2009!Phan

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1477

A/N: Sorry the fic side of my account’s been a bit inactive lately; I’ve been really busy, and to be quite honest I haven’t been very motivated to write. After you all voted me best writer in my blog awards, I felt inclined to put something together for you all. <3

Read it on Ao3! Read it on Wattpad!

u wanna skype l8r 2nite?

Dan took a deep breath before sending the message. He knew Phil was just leaving class and probably wouldn’t answer for a few minutes, but the small, grey check mark right beside his message still shook him to his core. 

He threw his head back against the wall, his laptop remaining open on his lap. He’d been in his bed all day; in fact, he hadn’t left his house in weeks. He wasn’t even sure when he was going to leave next. 

It’d been three months since he’d graduated from secondary school, and he hadn’t any plans for the future. Uni was already in session, and he was still living in his childhood room. He told himself he was just taking a gap year, but really he didn’t have a clue what he was doing with his life. The only thing he had that provided any sort of a hint of what needed to come next for him was Phil. 

Even though he’d never met Phil, he was his everything. He couldn’t touch his pale skin. He couldn’t hold his soft hand. He couldn’t wrap his arms around him and never let go. He couldn’t press their lips together and feel the fireworks he’d spent his entire life waiting for go off. He couldn’t even look into his multi-colored eyes through anything better than a blurry laptop camera. Yet somehow he knew, Phil was going to lead him into the next part of his life. At least that’s what he thought until everything began to fall apart. 

They’d Skyped every day for the last week, and every day Dan brought up wanting to get a train ticket to Manchester and meet Phil in person. Every day Phil turned him down. He never gave a real reason, he just didn’t want to meet Dan, and it fucking killed him inside. Dan was never happier than when he talked to Phil, and he once thought Phil felt the same way. They seemed to click so well; yes, it was a bit of a pun, but it was how Dan felt. He thought they fit together better than he had with anyone else. Hell, they were even dating... Kinda. It was the Internet. Everything was complicated. Everything had to be complicated. 

Except it didn’t! Dan’s mind screamed that thought. It didn’t need to be complicated; they could just meet in real life, and then it wouldn’t be so complicated anymore. Yet, for some reason, Phil didn’t want to do that. Dan’s mind raced with irrational reasons why; this is something it had done for days now, but it still hadn’t stopped. Did he find someone else he’d rather be with and just didn’t want to hurt Dan’s feelings? Did he not really like Dan? Was it all a charade? 

It couldn’t be. Dan had never connected with someone as well as he did with Phil. It couldn’t all be fake. It couldn’t be. 

But still, he couldn’t help but wonder... Why won’t Phil meet him? 

A ding went off on the laptop in front of Dan, pulling him out of his toxic thoughts. 

yea sure! let me get settled and we can talk in a few xD

Phil was going to Skype him. Finally, Dan skipped to the point he’d been trying to reach all along. Tonight, he was going to find out why Phil didn’t want to meet him. 

The soft, calming tones of the ringing call came through on Dan’s laptop. It completely contrasted the mood in his heart; his entire being was screaming from fear as he clicked the small, green button to answer the call. 

“Hey Phil!” 

“Hey Dan!” 

“How was your day?” Dan asked a simple, normal question. He needed to talk to Phil a little while before he dropped the bomb that could end their relationship. He couldn’t do it without some final happy memories. 

“Good, I guess,” he sighed. “Class was boring. I was thinking about Skyping you the entire time.” 

Dan felt his cheeks blush a deep red. He felt so important, so valued when Phil said things like that. But how could he really feel that way when he wanted nothing to do with meeting Dan? 

“Well, you’ve finally got your wish,” Dan chuckled, taking a deep breath and looking away from Phil on the screen. “I wish we didn’t have to Skype...” 

“Dan...” Phil said, disappointment evident in his tone. Dan turned his head to look at Phil on the screen. He almost had the face of a mother ready to lecture her child. “You know we can’t meet.”

“Why though, Phil? Why can’t we meet? I have the money for a ticket! I’m 18! I can go where I want! There’s nothing holding us back, damnit!”

“I know, I just-”

“Phil, I love you! Evidently you don’t care that much about me, given that you’re not even willing to think about meeting me in real life, but I care so much about you and I don’t fucking understand why this is so difficult!” He exclaimed each sentence that spurted out of his mouth, anger beginning to consume him as everything he knew and loved seemed to slip from his grasp. 

“It’s not that I don’t care about you, it’s that I do!” 

Dan finally turned his focus to the screen, where Phil was beginning to tear up. “What?”

“I don’t want to ruin everything.” 

“Phil, what do you mean?” Tears were beginning to rim his eyes as well, emotions running high as Phil wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

“Everything’s going so well here. We talk every day without fail, and I’ve never felt closer to anyone, online or in real life. We click so well, Dan,” he pleaded, presenting Dan’s own thoughts back to him. “What if we meet in real life and we hate each other? What if we don’t end up being the people we thought we were? What if we meet and find out we don’t really love each other. Damnit Dan, what if I’m not good enough for you?” 

Dan’s response should have come in a millisecond; he knew exactly what to say. Maybe it even did. But to Dan, all time stopped for a moment. He sat in a trance of his own mind’s making, staring at the screen of his laptop. The camera was the best technology, but in 2009 that wasn’t exactly very good. He could barely focus on Phil’s face, but he saw all he needed to. In that paused moment, he could see Phil’s bright eyes turned the color of the sea, something he assumed only happened when he cried. Dan had never seen Phil cry before. He’d never seen his cheeks shine from his own tears; he’d never seen his chest rise up choppily as he tried to take a breath. He’d never seen anything that made him break so quickly. 

Time snapped back into rhythm, and suddenly tears were rolling down Dan’s rosy red cheeks. He was so choked up he could barely speak, but he managed to spit out the only words that mattered. “Phil, you could never not be good enough for me.”

“I-I-I” Phil stuttered, taking a sharp, tear-filled breath in before every syllable. “I know-I just-I’m scared, Dan.” 

Dan took a deep breath, trying to clear the tears from his voice. “I know you are, and it really is scary. But it’s a step I”m willing to take, and I promise you, I’ll never stop loving you.” 

Phil chuckled, cracking a bit of a smile. “I think that’s a pretty shady promise, but there’s some unexplainable force in me saying it’s a good idea.” He looked straight at the camera, and Dan started straight into his sea-blue eyes. “I’m going to trust you.”

“Don’t worry,” Dan said, wanting nothing more than to reach out and grab Phil’s hands, holding them in his own. “I promise everything is going to be okay.” 

“Trust you?” 

“Trust me.” 

It was only a month later when Dan stepped off the train and onto a platform in Manchester. When he dropped his bags and went running for the jet-black fringe peering over the crowd. When he finally looked into Phil’s eyes for real, and they were a glassy, blue sea of joy. When he finally took his hand, kissed his lips, and pulled him into a tight embrace, never letting go. 

Dan knows now that Phil never planned to let go. Eight and a half years later, he knows he was foolish to think he ever would. Nowadays, he doesn’t need a promise to trust that they’ll never let go, but he’s allowing himself to say one anyway. After all, it’s his favorite kind: a promise sealed with a kiss. And even then, as their lips connect at the altar, it’s like the first time. Because still, after so long, they click. 

[omgktlouchheim]

Word Vomit Wednesday - Stop Kavanaugh

 Welcome to Word Vomit Wednesday! A series of blog posts where I attempt to process thoughts and feelings, usually about a specific topic from current events that I, and sometimes the rest of the Internet, ruminate obsessively about. All thoughts/opinions/experiences are my own (unless otherwise indicated); I don’t claim anything that I write to represent anyone other than myself.

CW: Sexual Assault

As with pretty much all the news about our current state of affairs, the Kavanaugh nomination and hearings for SCOTUS have been extremely triggering and stressful. Even before Professor Christine Blasey Ford came forward with her story of being sexually assaulted by Kavanaugh, this nomination indicated an even darker America to come, as if the one we’re in now isn’t dire enough for women, the LGBTQ+ community, and BIPOC. And, as with so much of the news we’ve been contending with since 2016, I’ve felt a need to pull back from watching it, reading tweets and articles almost ritualistically just so I can take care of myself physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Staying on top of everything going on takes a tremendous toll and I constantly find myself thinking about how the well-beings of marginalized people are constantly looked over and dismissed.

This came up for me again the other night when, after having a pretty relaxed evening watching The Emmy’s with my parents, my dad turned the news back on and that sense of simmering rage and hypervigilance that I’ve learned to just deal with existing as a woman in the world, came bubbling right to the surface. I had to leave almost immediately because that was not the way I wanted to end my day feeling. If I’m going to be active and helpful in any way, even in small ways like writing this blog, I need to be able to sleep at night. But one thing that came up in the few minutes of watching the Kavanaugh coverage that I have not been able to stop thinking about was a quote from someone in the nominee’s camp saying something along the lines of not even knowing the story or who the woman could possibly have been until Ford revealed herself. This narrative is offered over and over again as a way to dismiss women when they come forward in these situations. A narrative that continues to portray women and our experiences as insignificant.

That killed me. The fact that this woman not only went through a trauma where her personhood was never considered from the get-go, has been affected by it for decades, is risking her life for this country (she and her family have since had to leave their home due to death threats) to share her story and make her identity known, to again, be told by men she is not worthy of consideration is devastating. And that seems to be a major key in all of this. Women are not considered. At all. Kavanaugh probably didn’t recall the assault because he got what he wanted out of it. He never considered Ford or her feelings, needs, or wants. He couldn't have cared less. He still couldn’t care less. The GOP, who should care about putting an alleged rapist on the bench of the highest court in the land, but instead made a publicity stunt of having 65 women sign a document (all but two seemingly had no idea what they had signed) that stated they would vouch for Kavanaugh, definitely don’t see a problem if they’re willing to manipulate women to get their man through the confirmation process.

I saw a tweet the other day from @laurenthehough, who shared this sentiment: “You know what would be fucking weird to hear? ‘I did that. It was fucking terrible. I’m sorry. I did years of therapy and soul searching and work and I changed my behavior. I can’t change what I did. But I made damn sure I never did it again.’ Why is that never the statement?”

Why is that never the statement? I cannot tell you how healing it would be if those were the statements that we started hearing. Real accountability. Real apologies. Real work put into an individual’s growth and education. Would those statements start solving all of these problems? No, of course not. But they would at least indicate that these people recognize that the women they’ve hurt are people. And that they understand that they have caused harm, sometimes a lifetime’s worth, to another person. That would create a powerful shift. Because one of the reasons we don’t hear these statements is because these people don’t consider what they do to women to be of any significance. That unless you’re related to a woman by blood or marriage or if you find them attractive, they don’t matter. It’s probably inconceivable to Kavanaugh and his ilk that a situation that was so forgettable for him because “boys will be boys,” had been burned into Ford’s mind. She never mattered to him, he felt entitled to her and her body, and our culture allowed that.

As I’m writing this, I realize that I will be posting it on arguably the most important Jewish holiday of the year, Yom Kippur. Which couldn’t be more fitting for this topic. Yom Kippur translates to Day of Atonement. It comes ten days after Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, wherein those ten days are meant to give us time to reflect on the past year. All the great and terrible experiences and the things we wish we did better or hadn’t done at all. What we are sorry about and who we need to apologize to and when Yom Kippur finally arrives we are supposed to take full accountability for ourselves. Now, one day to hold ourselves accountable for our actions (as well as inactions) and how they’ve caused harm and suffering to others and actively make amends is not enough. Especially if the damage we have caused has had a prolonged traumatizing effect on person’s life and livelihood. Going to shul once a year and reciting prayers are not going to fix things or provide the healing that’s actually necessary. But at least the holiday is there to jumpstart the conversation. To hopefully get us thinking outside of ourselves and give the apologies that we wished we’d been given when we’ve been wronged and make necessary and lasting changes.

I’m pretty sure Brett Kavanaugh is not Jewish, probably has no idea what Yom Kippur is, and, like most cis-het white males, doesn’t think he's done anything wrong and that he's entitled to whatever the fuck he wants. But for those men who do genuinely want to make amends and be better people and because we very rarely have a framework for how to get started with that, I’m going to offer a few suggestions (mostly for men to combat rape culture and inequality, though some of these skills definitely apply in many other areas and for most people) on some things to start focusing on that would be incredibly helpful. This is by no means a complete and comprehensive list, and there is no significance to the order, but a few things to get people started.

Listen to women and believe them. We know our own experiences, so please do not come at us with “what if she’s lying” bullshit. There’s a reason men are conditioned to believe that women are liars and that reason is to keep women oppressed. Learning how to listen, really listen, is one of the most valuable lessons anyone can learn. When you check your egos at the door, unlearn your social conditioning, and learn to center and hold space for someone else and their feelings, especially when they’re in need, it validates their humanity. We all need support and knowing someone is in our corner who’s not going to question our motives, interrupt us as we process whatever we’re going through in the moment, or lash out at us is basic common decency that we are rarely shown, but (as women) are expected to provide for others. It’s also invaluable for the listener because you will get to understand someone else’s world a little better and hopefully gain more perspective on the one you inhabit.

Start asking “What do you need” and “How can I help you.” Practice those questions so much until they become second nature. No one is asking you to bend over backwards for other people, only you know what your limits are and it’s your responsibility to be honest about what you can or cannot do, but this is another small gesture, just like listening, that goes a long way. On the flip side of that, asking for help when you’re struggling is an important skill as well. People will typically show up for you if you give them a chance, especially if you’ve shown up for them.

Hold other men exhibiting toxic behavior accountable. Show by example how a good man acts and let those who are extremely problematic know that you see them and what they're doing and are not here for it. Men listen to other men (bc toxic masculinity, but that’s a post for another day), so you pointing out that some behavior or thought-pattern is problematic or shameful is effective.

Vote for and support women. Not just the ones you’re related to or find attractive. If you can only make room for the former, you're only performing ally ship and you don’t actually support women.

Men built the glass ceiling, therefore it’s your job to dismantle it. Do not put the extra weight of men’s work on marginalized folx who are already carrying and navigating too much.

Go inward and start tackling your own internalized patriarchal proclivities. Do your due diligence to understand toxic masculinity, sexist/racist double standards, and your privilege and the ways in which you help perpetuate a system that gives you benefits at the expense and suffering of others. Ways to start doing that: go to therapy, get a group of your boys together and actually start talking about and identifying your feelings and asking each other questions, read books or watch films/tv by people who come from very different backgrounds than you. You’ll hopefully learn a lot about yourself and the world. And you’ll learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings in a healthier way, rather than putting and projecting that emotional labor on the women and other marginalized folx in your lives.

If you have realized that you have done something wrong or hurtful or it was brought to your attention that you have, you may want to get defensive. Acknowledge the feelings you're having to yourself, but to the appropriate parties try saying something like this: “I did that. It was fucking terrible. I’m sorry. I did years of therapy and soul searching and work and I changed my behavior. I can’t change what I did. But I made damn sure I never did it again.” If you haven’t done the work yet, don’t say you have unless you do actually plan on following through. And then follow through. These are also great growth opportunities for utilizing those new listening and offering assistance tools from #s 1 and 2.

*BONUS*: Do not, under any circumstances, attempt ANY of the above with ulterior motives. You do not get a gold star for being a “good guy.” This is just how people should be treated. Decently, respectfully, and without any expectation of owing you anything in return.

Obviously, this is a very simplified list but when you start opening the door to one of these items, more and more doors begin to appear. As hard as it may be at times, it is worthwhile work that benefits everyone. Also, if you’ve made it this far, please call your senators and tell them to not confirm Kavanaugh to SCOTUS. We, the people, deserve someone on the bench who considers all of us.

Katie Louchheim seriously doesn’t know how she functions on a daily basis with all this bullshit. CALL YOUR SENATORS TO #StopKavanaugh: 202-224-3121.

[welovekpopscenarios]

Coffee Shop (Jimin x Reader)

Admin: Candi Request/Idea: “Meeting Jimin in a coffee shop fluff? (You're awesome btw) – anon” Fandom: BTS Member/reader: Jimin x Reader Genre: Fluff Warnings: None Words: 1.3k Authors note: Cute lil request! Hope you enjoy. I’m sorry I’ve been inactive the past few days and that Mimi has been pulling my weight and running the blog herself. I went on out Saturday and some things happened and my heads a bit messed up and I don’t feel too well about it so I’ve just been in bed watching stupid videos to make myself feel better. Also college is starting for me on Wednesday, second year of college wow how wild lmao.

           It was the night before the highly anticipated day which was finally coming face to face with Jimin. You have been talking online for the past two months and the friendship grew stronger every day, recently enough he suggested meeting up for the first time and you were all up for it but the nerves of seeing him started settling in. It was quite obvious that the both of you had feelings for each other but you wanted to meet up before taking that step. Jimin was a very sweet person, he’d always be there for you if you needed to vent, if you had a bad day he was always there.

           “What if he’s fake?” You say to your best friend who came over because you weren’t able to be left alone with your thoughts tonight.

           “You’re being dramatic. Didn’t you have skype calls?”

           “Yeah but what if it was his friend? What if it’s a cruel joke?”

           “Well then I’ll track him down and hurt him. Besides, he wouldn’t be coming out all this way to meet you if it was just a joke.” Your best friend says confidently.

           “What if he doesn’t show up?”            “Then he doesn’t and you won’t have to face him.”

           Most of the evening was spent pacing around your apartment, throwing bizarre questions at your friend. Sleeping was out of the question as well since you were way too nervous to even think about going to bed. After two hours, your best friend stopped listening to you and payed more attention to the TV and you continued your pacing. Eventually, you sat next to her and fell on top of her.

           “I’m scared.” You say while your head rests on her thighs.

           “I know you are, I would be too.” She comforts you by running her fingers through your hair. You don’t say anything else and turn your attention to the TV which didn’t do a very good job in distracting you. At 1:30am your friend fell asleep on the couch and you stayed up scrolling through your conversations with Jimin.

 Y/N: I’m nervous :(

             You admit to Jimin.

 Jimin: Me too but it will be worth it. Take comfort in knowing that I’m nervous too :)

Y/N: What if you don’t like me?

Jimin: Haha stop that, try to get some sleep.

Y/N: What time is your bus? Jimin: 9:30am :) So I’ll be at the bus station around 12pm!

Y/N: I’ll see you tomorrow so, I’ll try to sleep.

Jimin: Goodnight :) I hope you manage to fall asleep.

             He lived on the other side of the country so the bus journey was long. You were so grateful he was willing to come visit you, you decided to meet at your local coffee shop because it was usually crowded and if he did turn out to be a catfish and/or a psycho he wouldn’t be able to hurt you in front of all these people – smart thinking. You knew he wasn’t a bad person though but you still took comfort in knowing you were going to be safe just in case if anything was to happen.

           It was approaching 3am and you decided to try to get some sleep, you gently woke up your friend to let her know you’re going to bed and that she should too since the couch isn’t very comfortable. You both headed off to bed but unfortunately all you did was toss and turn, you couldn’t possibly get any shut eye, not with your stomach twisting so much it made you feel sick. Despite that, you still tried to rest even if there were millions of thoughts going through your head at once.

 Jimin: I’m on the bus now. I hope you got some sleep, I’ll see you in a few hours.

Y/N: I didn’t but I can’t wait to see you.

             You decide to get out of bed since it was useless trying to sleep now, you got ready quietly as your friend was still asleep. The knot in your stomach seemed to tighten every minute, you felt sick and weak, you had no idea how you’d be able to face Jimin, the anxiety was eating you alive.

           As the time approached you left a note on your pillow for your friend and decided to leave with fifteen minutes to spare. The day was delightful, the sun was out but it wasn’t unbearably hot, the city was busy; students were back in school after spring break, some people were going to work and some were running errands. Everything was in perfect harmony so it lifted your spirits, you didn’t think anything would go wrong but you couldn’t help but feel anxious which was understandable.

           Upon arriving at the assigned coffee shop, you noticed that the café was surprisingly quiet.

           “Slow day?” You ask.

           “Unfortunately, but it’s such a beautiful day I don’t blame people for wanting to spend time outside rather than inside a humid café.” The worker smiled and continued to polish glasses.

           “I’m meant to meet up with someone, you don’t mind if I wait around for them before ordering something no?”

           “Be my guest!”

           You sit down at the table next to the window so you could be on the lookout for Jimin. You were quite early so you didn’t expect him for another while, you took out your phone and scrolled through social media and checked your emails.

           “Y/N?” A familiar voice made an appearance. Your eyes shoot up and your heart immediately started pounding faster and harder. In front of you stood Jimin, cute, slightly out of breath with rosy cheeks, Jimin. You stood up and greeted him with a tight hug. You both sat down and ordered coffee. The first ten minutes were quite awkward; small talk about how his journey was and how were you both feeling today. After a while of uncomfortable smiles and nods Jimin finally eased the tension by addressing it.

           “Y/N I know this is weird and we’re both nervous but I really like you and this shouldn’t be any different than our skype conversations. You’re so beautiful and I can’t believe I got the chance to finally see you.”

           Your whole face turned into a beautiful, ripe tomato. You smiled at him and hid your face in your hands.

           “Ah I know, I’m just nervous, I want this to go well and I don’t want to make the wrong impression.”

           “You’re beautiful and I like you, you can be yourself please!” He grabbed your hands and put them to his mouth planting a little kiss on your knuckles.

           The whole day was spent in the café, after getting comfortable with each other it felt normal again, just like your calls and chats online. You had so much to talk about and the topics never ran out, the conversation was moving on naturally from one thing to another and you wanted to stay like that forever. It would be amazing to stay in the café and talk for days but unfortunately Jimin had a bus to catch back to his city. The walk over there was dreadful, you already missed him and the conversation seemed to fade. Silence fell once you were at the bus station and your head fell, you felt a sense of loneliness overshadow you. Jimin pulled you into his arms and held you tightly.

           “Y/N this was such an amazing experience. I know we live far from each other but I can’t wait to see you again. I’ll miss you but we can start planning your trip to visit me soon!” Jimin was so positive it wiped the sadness away from your face. He got on the bus and you waved him goodbye, you knew you’d see him again soon enough and that thought was all it took to make you happy.