#i just wanted a fresh start
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when bots take over your old account name thats reblogged over on your friends page for the stephens at the beginning and you realize that you shouldve just made a new account and kept the old one active at the same time:3 :3 klauseconfessions is deactivated.whats over there now is not me lol
c'mon. spam bots are more of a problem than the pixel d for real.
#text post#im just ranting#like thats so dumb#i just wanted a fresh start#ive been on tumblr since like 2012 and theres been so many good blogs on there#but they arent active anymore and theres a follow limit ya know#lords#making me PAY for decisions haha
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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A whole new meaning to Gay Chicken.
(For: Anonymous raffle winner!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#This prompt was super cute! Thank you for donating to the raffle!#And thank you to everyone who also donated!#Okay full disclosure I am on very little sleep right now so these next thoughts may be incomprehensible.#(That hasn't stopped me before. Sometimes the voices of the hat man give me good ideas.)#I have been vibrating with excitement for when we finally get to the chicken scene.#Because I really want to draw chickens! I love chickens! They are so optimally shaped for maximal cuteness.#That's a creature that was designed to be fluffy and sit on things. What is there to *not* love!#I know there is more significance to the whole exchange but really...I think Lan Wangji deep down just wants to hold cute creatures.#His hands are big and gentle and not meant for swords! They are made to be filling rabbit hutches with fresh hay and petting chickens.#This is to say; Lan Wangji's problems could all have been avoided if he was a farmboy.#He can still be a farmer. The two of them could run off into the country and start something new.#"True love is possible only - in the next world - for new people” Is a disco elysium quote I think about for wangxian all the time.#Ah but that's a different tangent. Look forwards to more art tomorrow!
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I really enjoy playing through tnp again like hi it's been a while
#the northern passage#interactive fiction#lea chen#the hunter#and captain the horse#userpharawee#I don't have internet atm and it's been on and off (mostly off) for a few weeks now#it's annoying for all the obvious reasons but also becauce now I'm kind of looking forward to being at work#because at least there's working wifi there#if only it weren't for the horrors (the customers) lmao#anyway sorry for the rant#I'm not far into the new and improved chapter 1 yet#because again. no internet >.> and limited mobile data#but it's been long enough since i played it that it feels like a fresh start and that's nice#realised I never drew lea so I had to change that#I also redesigned my hunter a little#not sure about the braid idk if he'll keep that lol#I also want to change his name because I was never happy with it to begin with#but I haven't decided yet to for now they're just the hunter (he/they)
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So how’s ride kamens going for you as I just pulled my self together long enough to read the other half of the current main story
I've been working on catching up on the event stories since they announced the upcoming main story update! (I totally bombed the last few events...they're so fast-paced and I just didn't have time...😭)
and then of course they went and dropped THIS on us today
(you don't understand, I LOVE Tajador and I already love the two blurry frames they've given us of non-silhouetted Kelka, I'm ready to absolutely lose my shit come the announcement/reveal(?) stream on Thursday --)
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#october is officially NEW BOY MONTH#month of BOYS#i had suspected we were going to be getting some new guys eventually because. well. gacha.#but it's HAPPENING and oh my WHAT a strong start#me checking twitter and immediately turning into the beyonce meme: TAJADOR?!#hold on i'm contractually obligated to do the jingle#🎶 TAAAAAAJAAAAAAADOOOOORU 🎶#flashback to during the initial run of reveals when my sister was guessing ankh for every one because 'eventually it'll be right'#i can't believe it came true. i'm so happy#ugh i need to either grind out more seals for keys or see if anyone's uploaded the stories#i mean it's prooooobably not necessary to understand the main story but. i want to be fully prepared.#and i'm still a little salty about missing out on both birthday agata AND radical rollerbladin' araki#how dare they do this to me when i have DEADLINES >:(#...anyway get hype for part 2!!!!!#i hope we get powerup forms! just pile more stuff on top of these guys and watch them gently topple over#i still think leon should be allowed to henshin but. y'know. maybe as a big finale.#he will save us with the power of friendship and fresh-baked cookies
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This year's big web! This one marks five years of big web!!!
#finished product sans wip updates!!#it's a couple weeks later than usual this year BUT we've literally never taken it down right after halloween so it's fine lol#doing it around halloween is just an excuse anyway tbh. this isn't a halloween decoration this is a 'jay likes spiders' decoration#I do LIKE the free zone but maybe in the future I'll leave a little more space? 🤔 hm#also I could maybe have filled out more of the frame but 1) I'm at the mercy of Amount Of String On Spool#and I forgot I wanted to try starting a fresh spool for the spirals until after I was already doing them#and 2) honestly I'm so sick of doing it by the end of it anyway gkjhkfdg by the time the spirals are that big it's HARD TO DO!!#about me#my art#spiderweb#big web
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Guys, would you be interested in downloading contacts from me? These in the pic, for example. I'm satsified with the outcome. You have like two channels for the iris - base colour and second colour (pink area). It fits the original s4 colours. You can of coure make it the same colour as the base and have one colour. Btw, screenshot is unedited!
#ts3#sims3#sims 3#wip#making a slightly fresh start#i don't want to make celebs anymore#it's bad for my brain#i just want to make nice sims and play???
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orpheus and thanatos 💚
#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#lizzy does art#HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on)#i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!!#i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK.#it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting#and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things...#all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible...#also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something.#trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!!#also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh#sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙#very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)
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something i promised on my kofi 6 months ago... 🫠
#sorry for people who has been asking for commission and finding me very unresponsive#literally i don't feel ready mentally ; i think the '6 months' is self-explanatory#frieren: beyond journey's end#fern#sousou no frieren#fanart#frieren at the funeral#actually it was 1.5 years ago; i was supposed to be drawing other character that time#but for 9 months i didn't manage to make myself sit down & finish it; so 6 months ago i re-asked if the person wanted other character#bcs i thought i need to re-start fresh & maybe the person's interest had changed#ko fi#when drawing for money sometimes u sit down & just stop 'working' entirely ; like ur will goes blue screen & refuse to do it#because it's / work / and u have to be more meticulous ; it gives u all the extra pressure#tho i like to have the money again.... but i'll start studying again soon; and i'll need to do my best on this one i think#drawing has always been a distraction on my study so maybe it is a good thing if my drawing drive dies down for a good while#tho not drawing at all also stress me out; finger crossed for good life balance#I CAN'T BELIEVE POPULAR TAG SHOWING THAT PEOPLE ALSO KNOW IT AS 'FRIEREN AT THE FUNERAL'. THAT SOUNDS WAY TOOOO DEPRESSINGGGG.....😭😭😭😭
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i really do admire how lando tries to not give a fuck (that 'whatever' really saddened me so much) but he actually does, and a lot.
guy doesn't even want anything absurd, he just wants the support of his team for the last fucking 4 races but no... let's just get humiliated for one point on international tv💀.
they're really stretching him thin — and i mean it in a emotional and mental wellbeing way. he is obviously inherently selfless and quite literally does not hold self-esteem, but in the last year we've seen him trying to be more sure of himself and trying to be selfish for once. the moment he does that though, he gets accused of being the spawn of satan. and then the team does everything in the world to make it harder for him.
so i really do admire him, because i literally would PERSONALLY leave the sport after this one season.
he's so much stronger than i am.
#im not saying he's not fit for the sport#but like his very dear friend carlos#it feels like he not only keeps his heart on his sleeve#but he also gives it away so freely in a sport full of rabid dogs that want some fresh meat#and he gets really hurt in the process#i relate to him so much bc of this#im not joking when i say his 'friendship' with max is nearing the end#and the team is not even mean they just don't get that when they have championships on the line YOU UNFORTUNATELY HAVE TO PLAY FAVORITES#we got lesser teams doing it from the getgo when they have no reason to💀#and suddenly mclaren doesn't know how?#is it really that hard??#landino#lando norris#brazil gp 2024#rambling#it all started from hungary btw they really set the mood there and its been... foul#it's not even oscar's fault#he is a competitive teammate#he has every right to race#does lando really have anyone atp?#and yes yes i know they're rich billionaires they get paid for this#still doesn't mean they're insensible or immune to feeling betrayed or deceived or just sad bc they trusted someone#and he's a scorpio too so im SHOCKED about how he handles this#ALSO HE GIVES TOO MANY FUCKS#and he rightfully doesn't even give the blame to anyone but himself most of the times when i'd argue that it almost never is#your team is supposed to be your backbone in your first actual fight for the championship... and even after all the years of constant work#and points he brought#not even when finally the car is competitive they can actually do their job and support their driver that is the top contender?
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Hey guys, I'd like to apologize for disappearing once again. I seem to end up self-sabotaging myself everytime I try to get back into the swing of things (attempting to do the backlog of comms + doodles, opening patreon). I've been feeling lethargic for some time now & tbh I can't help but remember my mom's situation back then before she got admitted to the hospital. I don't want to go through the same thing so I'm trying my best to pick myself up—even though it's hard. I lost my dad last 2016 then my mom this year & it's just... it's a big blow for me.
I'm sorry if I keep asking for help like this... but I've stretched our budget too thin now since I haven't been able to work on anything. If anyone would like to help, my ko-fi page is open. Any kind of help or support is very much appreciated! 🙏
I'd also like to apologize to those who subscribed to my patreon. I really thought I'd be able to just start right away & draw again like I used to after announcing it here but I thought wrong. I owe you guys a doodle + a drawing session. I can't promise to do them soon but I'll try my best!
Lastly, I've also been thinking of doing an art stream as a thanks for continuing to support me even though I haven't posted art for so long ;_; Nothing fancy, just a simple stream of me drawing on a canvas (I don't have the guts to show my face or talk I'm sorry... 🙈). Tbh it sounds overwhelming but I thought it might help me gain momentum for drawing again. Idek if I'll actually be able to do it, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while now.
I'm sorry again for all this... I'm still a mess atm & so I still keep struggling. But I'm also grateful bc many of you still choose to stay & support me despite the lack of activity. Really though, thank you, thank you so much for still being here ;_; 🙏🙏🙏
#the week after I posted abt patreon was the time I had severe menstrual cramps and I just... lost the momentum after that#even vomitted at some point bc of how bad it was#and then I received a bad news abt the apartment we're renting#caretaker of the apt. said my mom missed a couple of payments before and now I have to shoulder them#im still trying to find the receipts that my mom kept but I couldn't find them so now im just... left w/ another problem#my mood tanked after hearing abt it... was planning to move out in the future to start fresh again but bc of this im not even sure anymore#sighs. im still trying to find the receipts tho so im hoping it was just something they overlooked#im sorry again... don't really want to rely on ppl's donations anymore bc I know everyone have their own needs too#and that's hard earned money... but bc of my situation im left w/ no choice but to try to ask for help again ;_;#thank you to those who helped so far I really appreciate you all ;; 🙏
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Scar doxed Grian in a twitter post!
Yep, our guy is still going.
Fish.
#grian#mcyt#hermitcraft#goodtimeswithscar#mod nova#our guy#our fisherman#hey does anyone wanna start a challege with me about how many tries it takes them to get a mending book?#rules as follows:#1. must be a fresh world#2. you can only use what you fish up in order to better equip yourself. the only exception is if you want an anvil to combine rods#and also your first rod obviously thats totally fine#3. once you have achived a mending book#reblog this post with proof of it in your hands and also your stats for “fishing rod used”#lets all dunk on Grian lol#if anyone beats Impulse i will be thoroughly impressed#oh and 4. dont cheat??? this is just a silly game of fun and whimsy.
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Welcome to Bridgeport, where we'll be following the life and times of Gwen Larkin, aspiring news anchor and secret trashy novel writer by day, hot spot hopper and vampire magnet by night.
#ts3#sims 3#ts3 gameplay#sims 3 gameplay#gwen larkin#gp: bridgeport (ts3)#lilah was cute but i wanted a fresh start!#besides the instability of the custom world i was using i think i got a bit caught up in thinking about the “aesthetic” with her#so we're just gonna have fun and embrace the chaos!#(i swear i didn't go in intent on finding the vampires lol)#morrigan hemlock#elvira slayer
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Okay! This one is less rendered than the other two, but here's some doodles of Tulpa figuring out how to co-exist! (Aka Fresh not taking training seriously while Dream is trying desperately to get his friends to think he's normal.)
When Dream first returns to the Star Sans', he finds himself in a pickle, because he needs Fresh to move his body. Sure, they made a tentative agreement that Dream trusted Fresh not to break, but Dream hadn't been specific enough with the guidelines.
Fresh pilots Dream's body based on the commands from his soul, but more often than not Fresh simply decides not to listen. Sometimes when they're training, Fresh will suddenly make Dream fumble his bow or send an arrow flying way off-target. Dream is always frustrated by this, unaware that Fresh it doing it for his own good and is forcing the guardian to take a break.
Blue was also made aware of Fresh very early on. One day he was passing the kitchen where Dream was cooking and spotted how Fresh's little form was wiggling out of the hole on Dream's skull. Blue made Eye-contact with Fresh, but said nothing since it seemed like Dream was aware and didn't mind. He waited until Dream told him to acknowledge the parasite directly, but suddenly a bunch of Dream's weird actions made sense to him. Blue regularly makes sure to check in on Dream, before abd after he's aware of Fresh, because he knows Dream works himself into the ground.
Dream (eventually) figures out that Fresh was being clumsy for his sake and nearly cries about it (even his mother and the villagers never did that for him, and Blue was the only other person to ever pull him away from training for his own good) so he gets a bit emotional. He feels bad for how angry he used to get at Fresh for doing that, but Fresh never gave him a proper explanation either, so it was a two-way street.
And while Fresh was lienent around Blue and Ink, he never slipped up around Nightmare's gang. Though, he did fight seriously, which to him might look like goofing off, which is completely separate from Dream's fighting style. (For now Dream uses Arrows and his Bow, but I'm thinking Tulpa has a T-Shirt Canon or a Nerf Gun by the time they make-up.)
Ideally Fresh cannot be seen during combat because he actually pilots from around Dream's soul, but sometimes his parasite form expands to support Dream's weak joints and act like a shock-absorber.
#utmv#utmv sans#oc#utmv art#utmv oc#my art#spot!drawn#Dreameater au#tulpa#Dream x fresh#fresh x dream#sanscest#<- again technically??? here they're just Strangers dubiously sharing a body tho soooo#anyways#Blue my beloved. he's subtly making sure Dream's alright#but besides being exhausted he's actually better off than he was *befire* fresh so Blue takes that as a good sign#and I love a Dream who is stubborn and has a set routine and expectation who panics and gets a lil#mean when things don't go his way. Golden Child and Prodigey vibes#i'd never project but like... what I wouldn't give to have someone physically stop me from working myself into a fit over#things I can't control 👀#Fresh doesn't care a ton about Dream at this point and his carefulness is more him wanting to keep Dream's soul/vessel in good shape#but that quickly morphs into a protectiveness and care once he realizes just how much strain Dream tries to put on hinself to be perfect#the 'I can fix him' trope but with the character you don't expect (Fresh teaching Dream to value himself as more than a tool)#(even though to Fresh at the start he is *literally* just an asset to Fresh. their dynamic is unhealthy to start but improves later)#dream sans#fresh sans#<- I know neither of them are Sans 😔 itXs just easier to tag like this
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There’s something so important about Gillion - who never heals himself, who rushes into danger, who hides his wounds- facing death and realizing he isn’t unafraid as he was raised to be. He uses his magic on himself to help with the exhaustion, to keep his life intact. And still he tries to comfort Jay and Chip while he’s coherent, being realistic about his chances but refusing to make it painful. Wanting their possible last moments to be light, to be about seemingly inconsequential things, small favorites that still mean the world to him purely because they’re Chip and Jay’s favorites. And then when all is said and done, he makes a raccoon for Jay. He talks about raspberries for Chip. He uses his last saved up arcane energy to try desperately to stay awake, and it works, and it saves him in the final hour.
It’s just. There’s something about how he hasn’t had a chance to rest since the Feywild, really, truly rest. How this whole time he’s been down on himself and taking extreme risks. And now, at what might be the end of it all, he realizes he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live. And not to be able to save others, not to fulfill his destiny, not out of obligation to anyone else - but purely for himself. For all the little things. And though it’s not quite healing in the literal term, his nearly final act was spent trying to save himself - and it worked.
#tw again for tags I’ll say and let me know if I gotta tag any more#but the past 30 episodes have been gillion tidestrider gets the shit beat out of him by the narrative#gillion tidestrider faces passive suicidality and faces old trauma and fresh new trauma#he goes through a shift of his foundation as a person he loses his sister the whole filipe thing and then this Curse#and he goes through with a mindset of ‘these problems exist because I do’ with some heavy implications behind that#it’s been getting easier and easier to choose his own destiny and break from expectations but it’s still not easy#but facing real death. slow and creeping and painful. he realizes he wants to live#not live because destiny demands it but because his friends do. because he does. because he wants to know more and share more of himself#I just. there’s something about all of it yknow#jrwi riptide 98#jrwi 98#jrwi#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#z speaks#at what point should I start tagging spoilers like. 100 maybe?
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I do kind of hope a series gives us a Megatron and Optimus with a “strangers to respected enemies/rivals to potentially more (at least in the fanfics)” sort of dynamic
Because I feel like that doesn’t really happen, at least not to my knowledge. I feel like if Megatron has a respect for Optimus, it’s usually due to their long, shared history, not something that develops over the course of the series
And I know some people say that’s what happens in TFA, but no, it really doesn’t. The two never reach the “respect” part, with Optimus hating Megatron for being an evil villain, and Megatron seeing him as a nuisance at best and never bothering to learn his name, only calling him it once like 2 minutes after being told it earlier in the fight, which I think in context doesn’t really count for much
I just feel like it’d be neat to properly explore, especially since I’m realizing we seem to have it fairly consistently be that they were “old friends” for a while now, let’s shake it up a little
#sorry another late night thought I had to get out before I go to sleep#I wonder if some of these “I want this to happen in a future series” posts come from me not knowing what’ll come next#like I haven’t been in the fandom proper long enough to see a new iteration of Transformers yet#since it was the release of Transformers One that brought me here#and also while there is a series currently happening#the series is kind of tainted by its Season 2 shift#like just objectively that’s one of the things it’s known for now#so I’m waiting for a new fresh start at this rate#and there’s also a new series we know will be happening soon but there isn’t much info yet#so maybe all this comes from that#and when a new series does come out I’ll calm down#but anyways what was I saying?#yeah let’s shake things up a little more#I think strangers to respect would be neat for the two#you don’t have to add the “potentially more” in there I just did because shipping and fanfiction#I probably need to branch out my shipping fields for these two#anyways#transformers#megatron#optimus prime
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