#i just want to protect him from the trauma

[enhaflixer]

Sined sealed and undone is such a beautiful story! I loved it! It would be lovely if we could get some more snippets of their lives someday! Maybe about the pregnancy or when the baby is born???

First Trimester

Jay doesn’t know how to react at first. Not really. He’s not shocked—he’s prepared on paper. They talked about children. They were careful. But deep down? He always knew Mina was going to come early. And yet somehow it still knocks the breath out of him.

He doesn’t celebrate at first. He calculates. Sits up late reading medical journals and government maternity policies. Makes a spreadsheet of every hospital in a 100km radius. Sends your doctor a thank-you gift after every appointment.

You find him one night in his study, staring blankly at a half-done nursery mood board, his phone open to an article titled “Intergenerational Trauma and Pregnancy Outcomes.”

“Jay,” you say gently, stepping into the room. “You’re allowed to be excited, you know.”

He blinks at you like he forgot how to breathe. Then:

“I don’t want her to inherit anything broken.”

You kneel in front of him.

“She won’t. She’s getting the best of you.”

Then, softer:

“And the rest she’ll learn to survive. Like we did.”

He wraps his arms around you so tight you can barely breathe. But you don’t mind. He needs this more than you do.

Second Trimester

Jay gets weirdly charming during this time. Like, glowing. He stops answering calls after 6PM. Starts making dinner. Starts… humming while folding laundry???

You ask him one day, “Are you nesting?”

“I’m stabilizing our home environment,” he says, dead serious, as he alphabetizes the spice rack.

He talks to your belly every night, even before you can feel movement. His voice goes low, affectionate, incredibly gentle—like he’s already protecting Mina from the world.

“Hi, Baby,” he whispers against your stomach. “It’s Appa. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll handle it.”

You cry the first time you hear him say her name.

He panics and tries to call your OB.

You have to explain that these are happy tears.

Later, you find a leather-bound journal hidden in his drawer. Inside: handwritten letters to Mina. Every week. Every milestone. Every fear. Every dream.

Third Trimester

Jay is officially in full Dad Mode™. He speaks to your belly in boardroom Korean. You swear Mina kicks harder when he starts using his “negotiation voice.”

He buys three diaper bags. Tests the car seat installation seven times. Has every caregiver within his family vetted by a private firm.

But also? He’s scared. You catch it in quiet moments—when he watches you sleep with a crease between his brows. When he lingers at the hospital lobby longer than necessary.

“I don’t know if I can protect you both,” he admits one night, forehead pressed to your shoulder.

“You don’t have to,” you say softly. “You just have to love us.”

And he holds you tighter. Doesn’t say a word. But later that night, he changes your contact name in his phone from just your name… to My Family.

The Birth

Jay doesn’t cry. Not until they place Mina in your arms, all tiny fingers and sleepy squints and scrunched-up nose that definitely came from him.

Then he’s gone. Sobbing silently, shoulders shaking, forehead pressed to the edge of your hospital bed like he’s trying to keep himself from collapsing.

“She’s real,” he says. “She’s here.”

And you nod, exhausted, whispering, “She’s perfect.”

Jay kisses Mina’s forehead, then yours. His voice cracks when he says, “Thank you. For giving her to me.”

Postpartum / First Months

Jay doesn’t sleep. Not out of stress—he just can’t look away. He watches Mina breathe. He learns how to swaddle from six different sources and compares their efficiency. He insists on doing midnight feedings because “you carried her for nine months, I can carry her through a few nights.”

He works less. Holds more. Laughs more.

One night, Mina won’t stop crying no matter what either of you do. You’re both exhausted, on the edge. You find Jay in the living room with her on his chest, softly singing a lullaby his mother used to hum to him.

“Please sleep, Mina,” he whispers. “Appa needs to believe the world is good again.”

She finally settles.

And you know, in your bones, she already believes it is.

Because he’s here.

And he loves her.

And you.

More than anything.

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

10: UNDER THE SURFACE

Previous chapter < MASTERLIST > Next chapter (pending)

Summary: You’re nervously preparing to meet Bucky’s friends for his birthday and give him a personal gift. As you head to the restaurant with Bucky, you’re introduced to Sam and Torres, who tease Bucky while making you feel welcome. Things get tense when your ex shows up at the bar, making unwelcome advances and insults. Bucky steps in, showing his protective side.

Warnings: Strong language and insults, violence/threats, brief reference to past trauma/loss, unwanted touch and inappropriate comments from Leonard

Word Count: 5504

Something inside you held your hand back. It was poised and ready to rap against Bucky’s front door, but you paused. Anxiety. Would Bucky like your gift? Were you ready to meet his friends? You took a deep breath and let your body move on autopilot, cutting off the messages from your brain which would be liable to leave you paralyzed forever.

You gripped the small velvet box tightly in your hand. It felt heavier than it should. It didn’t take long for Bucky to answer the door, revealing a half dressed super soldier. He was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans and had one sock in his hand. You glanced down to see that its partner was on his foot. 

“You’re early,” he frowned.

“Yeah, sorry, I just wanted to talk before we left. Is that okay?” you asked.

“What’s that?” he responded with his own question, completely ignoring your own.

“A gift,” you said shyly, stepping inside when he moved to let you pass. “For your birthday.”

Bucky looked surprised and raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” You handed him the box, feeling even more anxious now. “It’s personal… so if you wanted to open it now rather than at the party…”

He looked down at the box, then back at you, sitting down beside you on his couch. Bucky opened the box. Inside was a black and gold bracelet, its design subtly mimicking the intricate pattern of his vibranium arm. His name— James Buchanan Barnes— was engraved on the inner surface.

Bucky stared at it for a long moment, his expression unreadable.

“I… I remember you said…” you muttered, trying to fill the growing silence, “that you don’t have your dog tags anymore. I thought maybe... this could be a reminder of who you are. All of you. Not just the soldier, or the Winter Soldier, but James, too.”

He blinked and looked up at her, his blue eyes startlingly bright. “Princess...”

“You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to,” you added quickly, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. “I just thought—”

“No,” he interrupted, his voice was soft but firm. “It’s perfect.”

He slipped the bracelet onto his right wrist, where it settled snugly against his skin. He twisted his arm, studying the way it looked against the black and gold of his vibranium. For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then he looked back at you, and his lips curved into the faintest of smiles. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you said, your own smile blooming as the tension in your chest eased. “Looks good on you.”

Bucky tugged on his sock, still glancing down at the bracelet on his wrist as though he needed to remind himself it was real. His fingers brushed over the engraved lettering, his name carved into the metal as though reclaiming something he’d thought lost.

“You really see people,” he murmured again, almost to himself, and it made your chest swell with an odd mix of pride and affection.

You smiled and looked back at him. The bracelet, snug against his wrist, looked like it had always belonged there.

After a moment of silence, Bucky cleared his throat. “You know...” He hesitated, his fingers still grazing the metal. “This... what you made... I bet other people might like it, too.” His voice was cautious, like he was testing the idea aloud for the first time and wasn’t sure how you’d take it.

You tilted your head with surprise. “You think so?”

He nodded slowly, not meeting your eyes. “Yeah. Not the same, obviously.” He gestured vaguely with his vibranium hand. “But... something personal. Something that feels like... them.”

Your mouth dropped open, totally caught off guard by the suggestion, even more so because it was coming from Bucky. It wasn’t like you hadn’t done this before, but it had always been a gift idea for someone you cared about. Not once had you considered that it would be something you could do for others. “That’s... actually a really good idea.”

Bucky glanced at you hesitantly. “I mean, only if you want to. But maybe just don’t... mention me?”

“Of course not. But... would you mind if I took a picture of you wearing it?” you asked tentatively, biting your lip softly. “Just your arm, nothing else. I’d love to get feedback from my followers, see what the interest is like for custom pieces.”

Bucky looked down thoughtfully, his expression somewhat guarded and you rushed to clarify.

“It’s totally fine if you’re not comfortable. I can just describe it or post the sketch instead.”

He exhaled slowly, his thumb brushing over the bracelet again. “Just my arm?”

“Just your arm,” you promised, pulling out your phone. “Deal?”

He placed his right arm in his lap in implied consent, and you quickly framed the shot, focusing on the bracelet, as the black and gold gleamed in the light, the engraving hidden but the design standing out against his skin.

“Perfect,” you smiled, lowering your phone. “Thank you, Buck. This means a lot.”

“Yeah, well...” He looked away, scratching his beard. “I think it’s a good thing. People deserve to feel like they’ve got something that’s... theirs.”

Your heart swelled at his words. His approval seemed genuine, not just a clause of your contract. You glanced down at the photo again, admiring how the piece on his wrist really popped against the dark background of his jeans. You uploaded the image to your feed with the caption: “Every piece has a story, and I’d love to help tell yours. Would you be interested in custom jewelry options?”

“Shall we go?” Bucky asked, standing up. He grabbed the leather jacket which was draped over the back of the couch.

“Yeah, sure.” You followed his lead, not missing the way he carefully pulled his sleeve over the bracelet so that he wouldn’t disturb the way it sat on his wrist.

The restaurant was warm and surprisingly lively, a welcome relief to the bitterly cold weather outside. Bucky was at your side, his hand hovering on your lower back in a show of support. Both of you had decided on the ride over that your act would have to start before you entered because anyone could be watching. 

You’d been right, Sam and Torres were waiting near the entrance, their smiles bright and welcoming.

“Buck! Look who decided to show up! Happy Birthday, man!” Sam said, clapping Bucky on the shoulder before turning to you with an appraising grin. “And this must be the better half.” He offered his arms out in a hug which you returned shyly.

“I’m not quite sure about better,” you laughed. “Maybe the half with less attitude.”

Torres laughed, extending his hand. “I like her already.”

Bucky muttered something unintelligible under his breath but didn’t protest when Sam and Torres ushered you both toward a table near the back. He grabbed your hand and dragged you along, keeping you close to his side like his own personal shield against the merriment.

As the evening unfolded, you got to know Sam and Torres a little better. They treated you like they had known you for years, taking it in turns to tease Bucky and make you feel welcome.

“Anyone who can put up with him must be an angel.”

“Oh very far from it, Joaquin!”

“So,” Sam cut in, leaning towards you with an easy smile, “tell us about yourself, Y/N. What’s your story?”

“Sam,” Bucky said darkly in warning.

“What? Gotta get to know the potential sister-in-law!”

Bucky already looked like he was going to explode but you leaned against him, giving him a small nudge. “Not much to tell,” you said, wrapping Bucky’s vibranium arm around your waist. “Grew up with my grandma. Studied art and design, and now I live opposite this grump and pay the rent by designing jewelry. But you know the last part, seeing as you’ve already stalked my Instagram.”

Sam laughed, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Caught red-handed. I had to make sure Bucky wasn’t just making you up to get us off his back.”

You laughed, a mild hint of panic in your tone. “Well, as you can see, I’m very much real.”

Torres joined in on your laughter. “You’ve got some serious talent though,” he said earnestly. “That bracelet with the stars was my favorite. Amazing work.”

“Thanks,” you blushed. “That was inspired by my grandma, actually. She used to love the stars. Every night she would tell me a story about the different constellations. She said that the stars reminded her of how, even in the darkest night, there was light to guide you. So, when she died a few years ago, I designed that one in her honor.”

The three men fell silent for a moment, moved by your tribute.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Sam said quietly, while Torres nodded beside him, echoing the sentiment. 

You felt a pang of sadness for a moment, the pain quickly softened by the way Bucky’s hand wrapped around yours, his fingers weaving between yours. You looked up at him, his face inches away from yours. He wore a concerned expression, his eyes searching yours. It wasn’t a subject you had broached during your prep for the charade. You gave his fingers a quick squeeze, offering him a small smile of reassurance, telling him you were okay. Despite this, his arm tightened around you protectively like a guard dog.

Sam cleared his throat, breaking the solemn moment and lightening the mood with a grin. “Well, your grandma sounds like she was an incredible lady. Explains where you get all your charm.”

“Yeah,” Torres added, smirking. “And it also explains how you put up with this one.” He jerked his thumb toward Bucky, who gave him an unimpressed glare in return.

“Trust me, dealing with him is a pleasure… every time.”

Bucky choked on his beer as you responded and you patted his back while Sam laughed at a blushing Torres. You looked up at Bucky, your eyes sparkling with mischief. His ears were red and his expression painted a picture of incredulity and something else— something more intense. His lips twitched, as though he was searching for something to say, but no words came from his mouth.

“You okay there, birthday boy?” you teased.

The look Bucky was giving you was disarming; there was an icy fire behind those blue eyes which you’d never seen before. A smirk graced his lips as he leaned down to your ear, his voice low enough so only you could hear. “Careful, doll. Keep this up, and I might forget which parts of this are for show.”

The deep timbre of his voice sent a jolt of heat straight through you, his words dancing across the line between playful and dangerously serious. Bucky pulled back to meet your gaze, as if daring you to respond. But before you could, Sam clapped his hands together, interrupting the moment.

“All right, lovebirds, save it for later! I wanna know more about your girl.”

“More?” you asked jokingly. “Wow, nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!”

Sam laughed but leaned onto the table. “Oh baby, we’re just getting started. Gotta make sure you’re good enough for our guy, here.”

You leaned in, undeterred by the insinuation. “Good enough for him?” you answered, your hand over your chest and voice filled with mock offense. “This guy was at my door practically every day begging me for a shot at this,” you waved your hands over your body with a flourish.

“Begged, huh?” Bucky smirked.

Turning to Bucky, you smiled back. “Absolutely! You might as well have been out there on your hands and knees. Just couldn’t resist my charm.”

“You make it sound like I had no choice.”

“Oh, trust me,” you shot back with a widening grin, “you didn’t.”

“You two need to keep it in your pants; this place’s meant to be family friendly!”

Sam shook his head while you and Torres laughed. Bucky didn’t say anything, but his grip on your hip tightened slightly.

“Okay, real talk—” Torres sobered up and leaned towards you. “Do you have any single friends? You know, someone who might appreciate a guy like me?”

You tilted your head, with a look of intense concentration as you pretended to consider his request. “Hmmm, a guy like you? That’s a pretty tall order.”

“Hey, come on, I’m totally a catch!” Torres insisted, feigning a look of outrage. “Good looks, charming, muscles, and excellent taste in friends!” He pointed at Sam and Bucky, earning a scoff from the latter.

“Well,” you teased, “I do have a couple of friends, but you're not their type.”

“I’m up for the challenge,” Torres replied, winking.

“I’m not sure Hanna and Aditi are your type, plus they are both taken… by each other.”

“Ah, the paint champs, right?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Torres knew he had slipped up.

You frowned, you hadn’t mentioned paintballing to Bucky. “That’s some heavy duty stalking you guys have been doing there, huh?” 

Sam raised his hands and laughed. “Hey, it’s harmless curiosity. Gotta know who’s dating our guy.”

Bucky groaned. “I thought I told you to be subtle.”

“Harmless, huh? Good thing I only have to turn on the TV to dig up dirt on you guys. So, I’d say it’s a fair trade.”

“So these girls are your partners in crime?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, they’re… my family,” you said with a fond smile. “Been through everything together— puberty, high school, camp, college, questionable relationships, terrible fashion choices. You name it, we survived it.”

Sam grinned. “Sounds like the kind of friends who’d know where the skeletons are buried.”

“They wouldn’t just know,” you teased. “They’d be the ones helping me bury the bodies.”

Torres chuckled. “Now that’s loyalty. What’re they like?”

“Hanna’s the free spirit,” you explained. “She kind of goes where the wind takes her, which is hilarious because Aditi is the opposite— she’s wound a little tight. Super organized, loves a good plan. Honestly, I think Hanna’s ‘whatever happens, happens’ attitude drives Aditi up the wall sometimes.”

“Yeah, opposites attract.”

You laughed, leaning slightly into Bucky. “Yeah, kind of like me and this one.” You reached up and lightly tickled Bucky’s chin, drawing a rare smile as he rolled his eyes with mock exasperation.

Sam’s grin widened. “Sounds like you’ve got a solid crew. What’re their families like? Must’ve been interesting growing up around all those dynamics.”

Bucky frowned at Sam, narrowing his eyes questioningly, but Sam pressed on casually without acknowledging his friend’s pointed stares.

“Oh they’re a colorful mix,” you said, glancing between them. “Hanna’s family is just her and her mom. They’re really close since her dad left when she was ten. And Aditi’s family? Traditional Indian parents. They were strict about her education and, of course, boys.” You chuckled softly. “They were pretty shocked when she came out, but they adjusted. Her dad, especially, was super open and supportive.”

“Sounds like they’ve got good people backing them up,” Sam said, his voice warm but still probing.

“They do. And they’ve been just as generous to me and Hanna,” you said with a smile. “Aditi’s parents always included us in their holiday parties, made us feel like family too.”

Bucky’s hand lightly brushed yours under the table, a small, supportive gesture, but his gaze flicked between you and Sam, his instincts clearly still on edge. Sam, however, just nodded thoughtfully, his expression unreadable.

“Must be pretty well off to invite everyone to the party.”

“Yeah, Aditi’s dad is an accountant. Never really understood what it is that he does, but he works at some big company,” you said with a shrug. “Honestly, I’ve never really asked. Numbers and I don’t exactly get along.”

You paused for a moment, a small smile tugging at your lips. “But he’s always been really generous with his time. He’s the one who helped me set up my business and gave me advice on managing my taxes. Even now, if I have a question, he’s just a phone call away.”

“That’s solid,” Sam said, nodding approvingly. “Sounds like he’s got your back.”

“Yeah, he’s kinda been like a father figure for all of us,” you admitted, your voice softening. “‘Cause Hanna and I haven’t really had anyone like that.”

You didn’t catch the flicker of sadness that crossed Sam’s face, but Bucky’s eagle eyes didn’t miss the muscle twitch. He knew Sam far too well not to know that there was more to this interrogation than simple curiosity.

“Hey, doll?” Bucky leaned in, brushing his lips near your ear to make it look affectionate, but he kept his voice casual. “Think you could grab us another round?”

You raised an eyebrow, catching the subtle hint that Bucky wanted to speak with Sam and Torres alone. “Wow, delegating this early in our relationship. You’re walking a fine line, Birthday Boy.”

Bucky pressed a soft kiss on your cheek, making you blush. “I’ll owe you for this,” he whispered.

Bucky watched you saunter over to the bar, looking away as soon as he realized that he was enjoying the way your hips swayed from side to side. He turned back to Sam with an accusatory stare.

“What gives?” he demanded.

“What’s wrong, Buck?” Sam asked with feigned innocence.

“You know exactly what I mean? What are you two up to?”

“Not here, Buck. Now’s not the time,” Sam dropped his voice. “I don’t want you worrying until we know there is something to worry about.”

“Is she in danger?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“That’s not good enough, Sam,” Bucky growled.

“We’ll let you know if there’s something to tell.”

As you leaned against the bar, waiting for the bartender to finish up your order, you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder. A familiar voice slurred behind you, dripping with false charm and too much alcohol. You felt as if someone had poured a glass of ice cold water over your soul.

“Well, well, if it isn’t my favorite heartbreaker,” Leonard drawled, his grin smug and unsteady as he swayed slightly. “Fancy running into you here. You’re looking as stunning as ever, babe.”

You looked over your shoulder, hoping against hope that you were mistaken. Leonard’s tie was loose, and his usually immaculate hair was tousled in a way that you had only seen after certain intimate activities. He was leaning far too close to you, his breath heavy with the scent of whiskey.

“Leonard,” you said, your nose crinkled with disgust. You took a step back to put more space between you. “This is a… surprise.”

Leonard’s grin widened at your reaction, completely oblivious to the fact that his presence was repulsive to you. His eyes gleamed with a combination of arrogance and alcohol-fueled confidence.

“Where’s the surprise, babe? I’d call it fate. Bringing us together,” he replied, his voice dropping with entitled flirtation. “Been thinking about you.”

“Oh really?” Your tone couldn’t have any less enthusiasm if you tried.

“It always comes back to us, you and me. I mean, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye the last time I saw you. So this seems like kismet.”

You scoffed derisively but Leonard didn’t seem to notice. “I’m pretty sure you were the one who walked out on me.”

His eyes narrowed at the memory, a flicker of anger passing through him before his smirk returned, even though it looked a little forced. “And who’s fault was that? But I’m willing to be the bigger man here, I mean, you know you miss me.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that if I were you.” You cringed and tried to move further away, but out of nowhere Leonard’s hand slid to your waist. His touch was hot, and not in a good way. “I don’t miss anything about you, Leonard. And get your hand off me.”

He chuckled darkly, ignoring your protests. “Come on, don’t be like that. We had something good, you and me. Bet no one’s measured up in that department since. Go on, admit it, babe— no one knows you like I do.”

Before you could answer with a retort, Leonard’s hand slid down to your hip and around to your ass.

“Let go,” you snapped, your voice shaking with anger and disgust as you tried to push him away. But Leonard just tightened his grip, pulling you closer.

“Hey!” 

The word was not said as a shout; in fact, it was relatively quiet, but the force behind it cut the air like a knife. Bucky was standing behind you, his face remained impassive, but the fire behind his blue eyes burned with a barely bottled rage. “You heard her. Let go.”

Leonard sneered, slowly and reluctantly dropping his hand. But he didn’t step back. “Oh, look who it is,” he said, his voice mocking. “The neighbor. Gotta say, you move fast, babe. First me, now this guy? What’s the tally at, now? How many notches on that belt of yours, huh? Quite the little slut, aren’t you?”

His words hit you like a slap on the face, they made your breath catch and your eyes burn. You felt dirty, exposed. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over. But before you could react, Bucky stepped in front of you, positioning himself between you and Leonard.

“Watch your mouth.” His voice was low… lethal.

For a second, Leonard faltered, but his drunken bravado flared and he puffed out his chest. His lip curled into a contemptuous smirk. “And what’re you gonna do about it, Sergeant? Huh? You think you’re tough? Come on, try it.” Leonard held out his hands as an invitation for Bucky to make a move.

Bucky gently pushed you further backwards out of harm's way. “Careful, doll. This guy’s trying to be brave.”

Bucky turned back in time to see Leonard pull his arm back. He swung, a wild, clumsy punch aimed at Bucky’s jaw. Bucky didn’t even flinch. He stepped to the side with ease and grace, allowing Leonard’s momentum to carry him straight to the floor.

“Idiot,” Bucky muttered, shaking his head. He turned back to you, his face softening as he saw your shaken expression. “Come on, doll. You don't need to see this.”

But before you had taken one step, Leonard shouted after you, his voice slurred, and his hair completely disheveled. “You think you’re better than me? Huh? Think you’re better off with this murderer? You’ll come crawling back, you always do!”

Bucky let out a slow, controlled breath and let go of your arms before turning back to Leonard. He crossed the short distance between them in two strides and grabbed Leonard by the shirt and hauled him to his feet with shocking ease. He brushed off Leonard’s wrinkled suit jacket, straightened his tie with exaggerated care and then leaned in close to speak to Leonard. His voice was low enough that you couldn’t make out Bucky’s words.

Whatever it was that Bucky said made the color drain from Leonard’s face. His bravado vanished, his mouth opening and closing silently. Without uttering another word, Leonard stumbled away, disappearing from the restaurant.

Bucky turned back to you, his expression softening instantly. His hands came to your shoulders, steady and reassuring. “You okay?” he asked gently.

You nodded but the lump in your throat was too firmly lodged to let you speak. The tears you’d been holding back felt like they were ready to break the dam. Sensing your distress, Bucky pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing against your ear. “I’ve got you.”

Even after you’d had a chance to compose yourself, Bucky’s hands lingered on your shoulders. His gaze searched yours with furrowed brows of concern. “Why don’t we just get out of here?” he suggested. “I’ll take you home. You don’t need to deal with this anymore tonight.”

You blinked up at him, surprised by the offer. “Bucky, I can’t just leave. Sam and Torres put so much effort into this. It’d be rude to just take off.”

“Doll,” he interrupted gently, his voice dropping lower, “I don’t care about them right now. I care about you.” His thumb brushed along your arm in a comforting gesture, anchoring you. “Let’s get outta here.”

Your heart ached at the sincerity in his voice, but you shook your head and forced a reassuring smile. “I appreciate it, Bucky, I really do. But I’ll feel worse if I bail on them. Besides…” You glanced toward the table where Sam and Torres, both men had their eyes on you. “I can handle this.”

He studied you for a long moment, as if weighing the merits of arguing further. Finally, he exhaled, though his protective concern didn’t waver. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” you said softly. “I’ll be okay.”

His hand moved to the small of your back as he guided you back toward the table. “Just say the word, and we’re gone,” he murmured close to your ear, his presence grounding.

As you approached, you noticed the change in Sam and Torres’ demeanors, their earlier merriment gone. Sam's sharp eyes darted to Bucky, then to you, and Torres looked more serious than you’d ever seen him.

“Everything okay?” Sam asked you, his tone casual but his gaze searching.

“Yeah,” you replied, forcing a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. “Just ran into an old… acquaintance.”

“Acquaintance?” Torres repeated, his brow furrowing. “That guy was all over you, and not in a good way.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at the younger man’s bluntness.

Sam leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table, a kind smile on his face as he spoke to you. “Looked like Bucky handled it, though. What’d you say to him, Buck?” he asked, turning to Bucky with a smirk.

Bucky shrugged, slipping his arm back over your shoulder and pulling you close to his side. “Just told him to leave her alone.”

Torres let out a low whistle. “Man looked like he’d seen a ghost when he walked out. Sure that’s all you said?”

Bucky didn’t answer, his attention still focused on you. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded quickly, feeling uncomfortable under the weight of their attention. “I’m fine, really,” you insisted. “Just embarrassed. I didn’t mean to make a scene or ruin the night.”

You just wanted the ground to swallow you up. Not only had Bucky’s friends witnessed your humiliation, but you were worried that it would put your fake relationship in jeopardy.

“Hey,” Sam interjected. “You didn’t ruin anything. That guy was out of line. You handled yourself fine. And Bucky—” Sam smirked slightly, leaning back in his chair. “You might’ve earned yourself a permanent invite to every future birthday bash.”

Torres snorted. “Seriously, that guy hit the floor faster than I could blink. You’ve got moves, man.”

Bucky, still watching you, offered a faint smirk. “He was drunk. Didn’t take much.”

“Still,” Sam said, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “If you need to head out, we’ll understand. No shame in calling it a night after dealing with that.”

You hesitated, glancing between the three of them. Bucky’s hand settled lightly on your knee under the table. “You guys put so much effort into tonight. I don’t want to ruin it for you.” You said the last bit to Bucky, knowing that he wasn’t the type of person who would willingly plan a social event, especially not for himself.

“You’re not ruining anything,” Torres said quickly.

Sam nodded in agreement. “Exactly. But if you wanna stay, we’re here. And if you wanna leave…” He glanced at Bucky, whose hand was still on your knee. “I’m pretty sure you’re in good hands.”

Bucky knew you wouldn’t give in, you were tough, tougher than he had expected when he had first met you. He liked that about you. So he decided to take the matter in his own hands. “I think we’re done for today, guys. Thank you for this.”

“Bucky—” you started to protest, but he cut you off gently.

“No arguments,” he said gently, squeezing your knee and then letting go of you completely. Bucky stood up and grabbed your coat. “Let’s go.”

You opened your mouth to counter, to insist that everything was fine, but his gaze silenced you. It wasn’t demanding, no— it was suspiciously protective, possibly even concerned.

Sam raised his hands in surrender. “Fair enough. But you better let us know when you get home safe.”

“Will do,” Bucky said, already helping you to your feet.

Torres offered you a reassuring smile. “And hey, next time? We’ll make sure it’s just us. No exes crashing the party.”

You managed a small smile, grateful for their understanding.

Bucky walked close to you, ever vigilant as you found your way back to his car. The evening had been a whirlwind of emotions and even though you had escaped the storm, the damaging effects of Leonard’s cruel words lingered.

You glanced at Bucky as he drove, his profile clearly lit by the streetlamps. He had remained silent but it wasn’t uncomfortable like you’d expected. There was no judgement radiating off him as you’d feared. As he parked the car outside your apartment complex, he didn’t make a fuss. Jumping out of the driver’s seat, he flew around to your side to open your door, brushing off your words of thanks.

His gentleness surprised you, he was so different from the standoffish man you’d known when he moved in. This Bucky was a gentleman, every bit the boyfriend you had hoped Leonard could have been. You felt ashamed of the relationship you’d had with the businessman. You were getting off the elevator on your floor, almost at your front door but you stopped in your tracks, unable to hold it in any longer.

“Bucky?”

He stopped and turned to face you. “Yeah?” he answered, his brow furrowing at your tone.

You looked down at the worn out carpet, tracing the old fashioned pattern with the tip of your heeled shoe. “Do you… d’you think I’m a slut?” The words tasted foul on your tongue.

“What?” His response was sharp, his face sporting a startled expression. He took a step back towards you, eyes searching your face. “Why the hell would you ask me that?”

You shrugged, feeling more and more foolish by the minute, but now that you’d opened up, the words kept tumbling out. “I just… Leonard said…” You trailed off, taking a moment to figure out what you were trying to say. “Maybe he’s right, like, look at me—”

“Stop.” Bucky’s voice was firm but gentle, and he tilted his head down to catch your gaze. “Don’t even finish that thought.”

“But—”

“No,” he cut you off, stepping even closer to you. “What that man said was bullshit. He was drunk, he’s bitter that he lost someone as incredible as you. All he wanted was to hurt you because you know you’re better off without him.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, letting out a shaky sigh. “It was just so… personal. He’s always been able to see through me and… what if everyone else sees me that way? Even my friends think I can’t maintain a relationship.”

Bucky gritted his teeth for a second before he blew out a long breath. He reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair away from your face with incredible tenderness. “Now you listen to me,” he said, his voice low. “You’re not a slut. Not even close. You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re surprisingly tough, but you know how to be vulnerable with people. It’s… refreshing. Leonard doesn’t know you— not really. And anyone who says something like that doesn’t deserve to be in your life, let alone have their words live in your head.”

You bit your lip to stop it from trembling, blinking to hold back tears, but one escaped anyway. Bucky caught it with his thumb, brushing it away carefully.

“I mean it,” he said, his voice unwavering. “You’re amazing, doll. Don’t let some asshole make you doubt that.”

You nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Thanks, Bucky.”

“Anytime.” He gave you a small smile, walking with you to your front door, watching as you unlocked and opened it.

“See you later?”

“See you later, Princess.” He winked before turning to open his own front door.

“Oh and Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy birthday!”

He smiled, closing the door slowly. You stepped inside your own apartment and for the first time that night, you felt like you could breathe again. Leonard’s venomous words still stung, but Bucky’s kindness had dulled their edge. As you leaned against your door, you realized that maybe Bucky cared more about you than you’d expected. And as confusing as that thought was, it also felt… comforting.

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[klaus-littlestwolf]

I Will Always Protect You-Alpha!Klaus M.

This is a High School, All Human AU

Y/n has been on suppressants all her life and isn’t interested in finding her Alpha. When she accidentally ends up without them and discovers who her Alpha is almost immediately, will she be able to deal with it? Can Klaus be the Alpha she needs? Can he help her through her trauma and convince her to let him in? After all of her trauma thanks to Alphas all her life she is scared to give him a chance but Klaus is determined to be a better Alpha than his father was and he is determined to never let anything hurt his Omega ever again.

Warning: Mentions of past SA, mentions of being in a psychiatric facility, wrong medications taken, Slight Daddy kink

Most Omegas would tell you that there’s a lot of things that suck about being an Omega, however in Y/n’s opinion the absolute worst thing, was the side-effects of the suppressants. For her the cramps were the worst, though she also got horrible migraines during the time that would be her heat and the one thing that was a universal symptom? They effect your sense of smell.

The suppressants keep your heat away and suppress your scent so that people assume you are a Beta. It makes it impossible for an Alpha to find their Omega, but they also make it impossible for an Omega to find their Alpha. Eventually every Omega needed to gamble with stopping the medication and finding their Alpha, though Y/n didn’t have any current plans of doing that.

In her experience all Alphas were monsters. Her father hadn’t been her mothers mate, he had been an asshole that decided to take what he wanted and her mother ended up pregnant. It had ruined her mother. She ended up in and out of psych wards while her parents raised Y/n and to this day she is in a psychiatric facility and Y/n’s grandparents take care of her. They were pretty hands off for the most part, living their own retired lives and while she was happy for them she got lonely a lot.

Secretly she did dream of what it could be like. Meeting her Alpha and him being a nice guy, the kind of Alpha that worships his Omega, is a possessive, protective, loving man that never wants her out of his sight. But of course that’s not how life works, and that’s not how most Alphas are in her experience. Alphas are assholes, they’re cocky bullies that think they’re stronger and better than everyone else-they’re always jocks, and they live for having cute Omegas throw themselves at them.

That wouldn’t be her. She would never be the Omega that stops taking her suppressants. Well…at least not on purpose she wouldn’t.

Y/n didn’t notice anything wrong until 3rd period. She was feeling surprisingly well which was strange, usually after taking her medication she didn’t start feeling better from the cramps and achyness until after lunch but today she was doing great. In retrospect that should have been a sign.

After 3rd period she noticed that everyone in the hallway was staring at her, some of them in surprise and some of them clearly trying to flirt with her which was disturbing. As she got to her locker she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket and pulled it out to see that it was her grandma calling which was strange. She never called during school, in fact she was dead set against phone use in school where you should be learning and so she answered it, worry settling in her stomach.

‘Hello? Gram? Is everything alright?’ She asked, shoving her books into her bag and pausing, waiting to see if she needed to grab her bag and leave for some emergency.

‘Honey, are you okay? How are you feeling?!’ She asked, clearly worried and that just confused Y/n even more.

‘Yeah, actually I feel great. What’s going on?’

‘Well, your grandfather seems to have accidentally switched the medications last night. He poured the new bottle of Tylenol into your suppressant bottle on the counter and poured your new suppressants into his Tylenol bottle. You feel great because you took Tylenol this morning and not your suppressants. Your grandfather however did take one of them and he is in the ER right now. He’s okay!’ She rushed the last part out before Y/n started worrying. ‘He’s just having some issues with a migraine and some severe hormone spikes…they are a bit worried about his blood pressure but they said it’s most likely fine. He’s getting some medications in an IV, can you get yourself home? I can come and get you if-‘

‘No! No, stay with him. I’m coming to the hospital, I’ll be there as soon as I can in an Uber. I’ll see you soon.’ She sighed, hanging up and rushing to grab the books she would need, shoving them into her backpack and running to the stairs.

She had just gotten down to the ground floor when she nearly ran directly into Marcel. The football team had a game tonight so the whole team got to wear their jerseys and they always spent those days being the biggest assholes possible though Y/n had absolutely no time for it today.

‘Woah! Y/n, you smell amazing! I never would have guessed!’ He smirked, stepping closer as 6 of his team mates looked her over and took in her scent curiously. ‘Definitely wouldn’t have pegged you for the type to come to school like this.’ She rolled her eyes, trying to take a step around him but he stepped in front of her quickly. ‘You know, we have a game tonight. What do you say you come and wear my jacket, I would love to have you as my sweet Omega cheerleader tonight.’

‘No thank you, excuse me. I’m leaving-‘ she finally got around him only for Lucien to grab ahold of her waist and pull her close with a cocky smile. The feel of his hand on her made her excited, her body wanting to get closer against her will.

‘It’s alright, no one is willing to cheer for his losing ass. He’s right though, you would be the cutest little cheerleader. I’ll even pick you up, why don’t you give me your number and-‘

‘I’m sorry, I really have to go.’ As she turned this time it was Damon in her face with that bitchy smirk she had seen a million times, Trevor was behind him and the Alpha smells seemed to hit her all at once, her head spinning as she backed away, hitting a wall and whining. ‘Please stop…’ she whimpered, overwhelmed with their scents and surrounded by Alphas that any other day she would hate but today seemed intriguing.

The dizziness overwhelmed her and she slid down the wall onto her butt, trying to clear the foggy feeling in her head. ‘Let us help you. You can come to lunch with us, I’m sure eating something will make you feel better.’ Damon told her, kneeling in front of her and taking her hand.

‘Yeah, just let us help you-‘

‘Get Away From Her!’ A loud growl suddenly roared out and all of the Alphas jumped back and stepped away quickly. She moved to stand up though it didn’t happen, as she nearly tripped over her own feet, looking up to see a pair of beautiful blue eyes in front of her.

Klaus Mikaelson was crouched down in front of her with a worried look on his face and suddenly there was only one scent…only one smell in the whole world that she ever wanted to smell again. Pine trees and a rainy forest on a cloudy day. It smelled fresh and clean, all of the Alpha musk being gone and her head clearing slowly.

‘Are you alright? Come on, let’s get you out of here.’ He took her bag and lifted her back to her feet.

‘Klaus, bro, we didn’t know.’ Marcel mumbled, suddenly quiet as they all were. They knew they had fucked up. Flirting with an Omega was fine, though overwhelming them until they can’t think straight was typically frowned upon. Flirting with the Omega of an Alpha you know, God forbid one you’re friends with, that was a big no-no.

‘Yeah man, we would never-‘

‘Get the fuck away from me.’ He hissed, pulling his jacket from his shoulders and helping Y/n to pull it on.

‘Come on man-‘

‘Marcel, you have that college scout coming to see you play at next weeks game, don’t you? Well if you don’t get everyone out of here right now I will ensure I never pass the ball to you the entire game and I will make sure Enzo and Kai help me after this fucking bullshit!’

The threat, it seemed, was immediately enough as Marcel grabbed Damon and Lucien, shoving them away. ‘Let’s go!’ He shouted at the rest of them, not looking back as they hurried off down the hallway.

‘Are you alright now? Still light headed?’ He worried but she shook her head.

‘I’m okay…thank you.’

‘Of course. I will always protect you…are you leaving?’ He asked, holding up her bag and she nodded, finally seeming to think again.

‘Yes! Fuck! I have to go!’ She realized, making her way towards the doors with Klaus still beside her, his arm holding her waist and keeping her against him, still worried she would fall again.

‘What’s wrong? Are you not happy? I mean, you wanted to find me, right?’ He wondered, now worried that maybe that wasn’t his Omegas intention after all.

‘No! No, my medicine got switched, turns out I took Tylenol today and my grandpa took my suppressants, he’s in the hospital.’

‘Oh my God! Is he okay? Do you need me to take you there?’ Klaus offered, genuinely seeming worried which gave her a happy feeling in her chest but she shook her head.

‘No, I’m um-I’m getting an Uber-‘

‘No. An Uber will take forever and I’m not risking you getting an asshole Alpha driving you around. Come on, my car is this way.’ He pointed, taking her hand and leading her to the Range Rover, opening her door, helping her in and putting her bag in the back before closing her door, running around to his side. ‘What did they say, what’s wrong with him?’ He asked as he drove out of the parking lot and turned towards the hospital.

‘He has a migraine and his hormones are everywhere but my grandma said they’re worried about his blood pressure…I should have noticed! Why didn’t I pay attention, I didn’t even look!’ As she sat in Klaus’ car she finally had a moment to think and it wasn’t helping her at all.

‘It’s not your fault Y/n, it was an accident. He didn’t notice either, they probably looked similar if they got switched in the first place. He’s going to be okay.’ Klaus reached out, taking her hand in his again and lacing their fingers together.

‘Thank you…for everything, I-I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.’

‘Enzo or Kai would have done the same thing, you would have been fine. They’re assholes but they wouldn’t hurt you, it’s like a game to them to date the pretty new Omega whenever there’s a new student or someone stops the suppressants. Not all of us are dicks though.’ Y/n immediately thought back to her mother and how she had warned her against Alphas her whole life, how she had terrified her of Alphas when she was a small child and she had been wary ever since. She knew there were good Alphas out there and for the first time in her life she actually found herself hoping that her Alpha would be one of those, because he really seemed to be.

‘I know that…my experiences have just been less than ideal.’ He looked over at her as he stopped at a red light and he could feel her fear in his chest. Klaus hated it immediately.

‘What happened?’ He found himself actually asking, squeezing her hand as she looked at him. ‘I can’t promise you that I will always be perfect, but I can promise that I will never leave you. I’ve been hoping to find you since the day I presented, I promised myself I would be so much better than my asshole father and mother who find their joy in cheating on each other…I want to make you happy…tell me you’ll let me try?’

Y/n could feel his honesty, and she could feel how desperate he was. For the first time in her life she realized that she wanted to trust someone. ‘My father isn’t my mothers Alpha.’ She admitted, Klaus’ face falling as he understood what she meant immediately. ‘She apparently had a breakdown after finding out she was pregnant. My grandparents got custody of me when I was a toddler once they found out we were living in her car…I don’t remember that much, just bits and pieces. She was in and out of different psych wards all the time. She’s in a hospital now, she’s been there for the last 4 years.’ Klaus was horrified. The idea that an Alpha could do that to an Omega, one that’s not theirs, to hurt them just for the fun of it and destroy their lives. He never wanted to let Y/n out of his sight again. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you th-‘

‘No! No, I’m glad you did…I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, that your mother had to…I will never let anyone hurt you Y/n. I will do everything I can to be the Alpha that you need.’ She didn’t say anything back, she just moved to lean over the center console and rest her head on his shoulder. He kissed her head gently, and they sat there in silence for the next 3 minutes until he pulled in at the ER, parking the car quickly and running in with her, stopping in the waiting room before she turned around.

‘I don’t want to go alone…what if he’s…what if he’s not okay?’ She choked, tears finally falling and Klaus stepped forward quickly and pulled her to his chest. He held her as he walked up to the front desk.

‘Hello, we’re here to see a patient here, what’s his name, love?’ Klaus asked and Y/n was both a little surprised and relieved that he didn’t refer to her as “Omega” like many Alphas do in public.

‘Arthur Harrison. He’s my grandfather.’

‘Okay. He’s in room 8, it’s down the hall to the right. I’m sorry sir but it’s only family in the room, you’ll have to wait in the waiting area.’ She said and Klaus tightened his grip on her waist, not wanting to leave her.

‘No, he’s um, he’s my Alpha so he is family.’ Y/n insisted, not waiting for a response before she walked down the hall, pulling him along with his hand tightly in hers. She hesitated outside the room and Klaus moved to peek into the doorway, seeing her grandparents talking quietly before smiling at her and pushing her gently towards the doorway.

‘Oh honey! Thank God you’re here, I was about to call the school when you didn’t answer your phone!’ Her grandmother said, standing up and moving to hug her tightly.

‘Sorry, it’s in my bag and it’s still on silent cause of school…are you okay?’ Y/n asked, looking at her grandfather with tears in her eyes prompting him to sit up, gesturing her to come and hug him which she did. ‘I’m so sorry! I should have looked at the medications closer, I didn’t even-‘

‘None of that! It’s not your fault hun, you didn’t do anything wrong! I’m the one who fucked it up. I’m so sorry, are you alright? Please tell me you got out of school before anything happened?’ He was clearly worried, holding her hands tightly as he waited for an answer, her grandmother back in her chair now looking at her too.

‘I’m okay. There was a few assholes when I was leaving that kind of cornered me-‘

‘What?! I’ll kill them! I swear to God-‘

‘No, it’s okay, I…my Alpha saved me.’ She admitted and they both looked at her, clearly surprised. ‘He drove me here when I told him what happened, he-‘ she looked back to the door, standing up and moving to the door quickly when she didn’t see him, immediately scared that he had left. He was leaning against the wall and clearly waiting for her. ‘What are you doing?’ She laughed, taking his hand and pulling him into the room.

‘I didn’t want to disturb you. Hello, I’m so glad to see that you’re alright sir, she was very worried.’

‘I’m sure. It was very nice of you to bring her here. I’m Arthur.’ The older man greeted him, holding his hand out to shake which Klaus did promptly.

‘I’m Klaus. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.’

‘Alright, no more of that “sir” crap, kid. You call me Arthur, I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot more of you…if you hurt my little girl I will kill you, you hear?’ He nodded quickly.

‘I understand. I would rather die than hurt her, the thought turns my stomach.’

‘That’s good to know…what happened at the school? She minimizes things, thinks we can’t handle ‘em but I want the truth.’ He insisted, his eyes hard as he waited for him to respond.

‘Grandpa, I told you-‘

‘I’m asking him.’ Klaus looked back at Y/n who looked embarrassed but he couldn’t lie.

‘It was a group of Alphas from the football team. They were just flirting, they do it all the time. Make an Omega flustered, flirt with her and see which one can get her to come to the game wearing his jacket that night. It’s usually harmless, the Omegas at school know what they’re getting into but they overwhelmed her very quickly. I assume it was also the first thing she was really smelling and it was 6 Alphas in her face all at once.’ Her grandfather didn’t look happy with the idea of those boys picking on his granddaughter but there was one thing bothering him more at that moment.

‘Those jackets anything like the one she’s wearing right now?’ He asked, Klaus looking at Y/n and realizing what he was thinking right away.

‘Grandpa!’

‘It’s okay, love. Yes, that’s my football jacket. I’ve never participated in that shit, it’s only 6 of them that find it entertaining. I gave her my jacket after I realized what was going on, I thought it would help if she only smelled me before I got them to leave.’

‘How did you do that? Most Alphas I know don’t get chased off easily.’

Klaus shook his head. ‘Not usually. They realized she was my Omega and they apologized to me, tried to make it seem like no big deal. I just reminded one of them that has a college scout coming to the game next week and that I’m the one who decides if he catches any passes all night and whether he looks amazing or like an idiot. They left pretty quickly after that.’ A moment of silence passed before the old man began laughing. He was laughing so hard it actually concerned them for a moment until he calmed down.

‘Good job son. I like you. You’re welcome in our home whenever you’d like.’

‘Th-Thank you sir-Arthur! I appreciate it. Oh!’ Klaus chuckled as he was hugged by Y/n’s grandmother as soon as he turned around.

‘You’re a good boy. It’s nice to have a good Alpha around our girl…you protect our girl, do you hear me?’ She whispered the last part forcefully with her hands holding his face and he did hear her, loud and clear.

‘With my life ma’am.’ He swore before she pulled away, squeezing his cheeks and making him blush.

‘It is really nice to have a good Alpha.’ Y/n smiled, holding his hand from where she sat on the end of the hospital bed. ‘So when can you get out of here?’

‘Oh, they want to keep me overnight to make sure there’s no more side effects. Bein’ a buncha’ worry warts in my opinion. But you kids should get outta here, no use in you bein’ cooped up in this hospital too!’ He insisted.

‘Are you sure? I’m happy to stay and hang out with you-‘

‘Actually…’ Klaus spoke up, knowing her grandpa doesn’t want her staying here and deciding to just go for it and ask her out. ‘I’ve got a few hours but I have a game tonight and um…well, you’re already wearing my jacket so do you think maybe you’d like to come? I don’t know how much you like football but you can sit with my friends Omegas on the sidelines and I can take you to dinner afterwards…if you’d like to, you don’t have to-‘ Y/n cut him off quickly, standing up and pressing her lips against his.

‘That sounds like fun…are you okay with that? I don’t know how long you’re staying.’ Y/n spoke to her grandma who was grinning like an idiot.

‘I will probably just stay here tonight, you go! Go enjoy the game and have fun! You make sure she gets home alright.’

‘Yes ma’am.’ Klaus turned to Y/n after she hugged them goodbye. ‘If we leave early we can bring them some dinner from somewhere.’ Klaus proposed and Y/n smiled, pecking his lips again quickly, adoring how sweet he was to think about her grandparents in such a way.

‘Would you like some dinner from that diner down the street? I’ll get your favorites, bring you some things you need from home?’ She offered which seemed to bring her grandmother some sense of relief.

‘Please? My glasses and my yarn bag, make sure my needles are in it as well as my Patterson novel from the table please?’

‘Okay, do you need anything?’ She asked her grandpa who nodded.

‘Bring me my book from my table. And make sure you switch the pills back so this doesn’t happen again and so you have your suppressants back.’

‘I will do that. We’ll be back in a few hours with dinner.’ She promised before taking Klaus’ hand and walking out of there and back out to his car.

‘Are you going to start taking them again?’ Klaus asked as she directed him to her house which was only a few streets over from the hospital.

‘Honestly I hadn’t even thought about it…it’s a comfort to know that other Alphas don’t know that I’m an Omega.’ She told him and he understood but he didn’t want her to take them anymore.

‘I would never let anyone hurt you, you know that, right? You’re mine now, my Omega, my little Bunny. I will never let another Alpha anywhere near you! Never!’ He insisted as he parked the car and hopped out to make his way around to her side. ‘No!’ He shouted as she opened her door. ‘Shut it! Shut the door!’ He demanded and she looked confused as she closed the car door just for him to open it. ‘I help you out of the car, it’s my job. Like how I pump the gas, my little Bunny doesn’t pump gas. I would literally rather you leave my car on E and I have to go to the gas station first thing in the morning rather than knowing that you went to a gas station and put gas in the car. Gas stations are dangerous, you will never be in one unless you’re waiting in the passenger seat like a little Princess.’ He swore and she couldn’t help but giggle as he lifted her out now carrying her in his arms to the front door before putting her down and letting her unlock it.

‘I have to get their stuff but I know you are gonna have to get ready at home so we can grab everything here and go back to your house so you can take your time and get ready before we get them dinner. I’ll call in the order so it’ll be ready when we get there.’ Klaus nodded, grabbing the book from what he assumed was her grandfathers table and handing it to her as she packed it into her grandmas bag.

‘Sounds good.’

‘Then I was thinking…maybe, if you wanted…you could pack a bag and stay here after the game tonight? I don’t want to be alone…and I wanna snuggle.’ He looked down at her surprised before smiling excitedly.

‘That sounds like so much fun. I would love to have a sleepover with you.’ He told her, his hands finding her waist and pulling her to his body to kiss him. Y/n lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands slowly moved down from her hips to her butt, squeezing her firm ass and enjoying the moan that he drew from her. Y/n pushed Klaus backwards, dropping into the recliner as his legs hit it, his eyes widening as she climbed onto his lap and straddled him. ‘Y/n, you know don’t have to-‘ she cut him off, kissing him once again, trailing her lips down his jaw to his neck until she found his scent gland and promptly wrapped her lips around it. The growl that came from his throat was so loud she briefly considered if the neighbors had heard it. ‘My God Bunny! Fuck! Spent all your life never thinking you’d have an Alpha, now you’re a needy, horny little slut aren’t you? All mine, my pretty Omega slut!’

‘Yes…yours…’ she mumbled against his neck. ‘Can I?’ She mumbled.

‘Aww, my little Bunny doesn’t want me going out again until I have her mark on me, hmm? I’ve got myself a jealous little mate, haven’t I?’

‘No!’ She hissed as she pulled away, Klaus’ hand snatching the back of her neck, his claws sinking into her flesh and making her whimper as he yanked her back.

‘I don’t like liars Bunny. I don’t care if your jealous, honestly it’s hot. You can be a possessive, jealous, needy little whore all day every day, but don’t you fucking lie about it! Got it?’

‘Yes.’ She continued whimpering.

‘Yes what?’

‘Yes Daddy!’ His grip on her neck eased up as he heard what she had said and her eyes flew open as she realized what she had said. ‘Alpha! Alpha-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!’

Klaus’ eyes darken as he looks up at her, his hand snatching her throat tightly and shoving her back, pinning her onto the carpet, his hips pushing as hard into her as he could to keep her legs apart around his waist. She could feel his hard cock pressed against his jeans and she whines, desperate to see if it’s as big as it feels. ‘I’m going to let that lie go because I know you’re embarrassed but that’s the only time, do you understand?’ He asked and she nodded promptly. ‘No more embarrassment, okay? We will enjoy each others kinks together. If you want to call me Daddy, then I will be Daddy for my precious little Bunny. Daddy already wants to take care of you so it’s perfect…say it.’

‘Daddy…’ she muttered out a whisper.

‘Oh come on Bunny, you can do better than that. I’m not letting you go to the game, or to my house with my siblings around without my mark on you, so Daddy is gonna sink my fangs into this perfect little neck of yours…what do you think about that?’

‘Yes! Yes, please Daddy?! Please mark me?! Want everyone to know that I’m yours…you want it too?’ she questioned, blushing cheeks making Klaus smile. He loved it when she was a blushy little thing.

‘Damn right I do. I’m not going to that game unless I have your mark on my neck too…Perfect little girl for her Alpha. Waited for me like a good girl all these years…my good girl.’ As Klaus leaned back down she bore her throat to him, giving him a victorious feeling as the only Alpha his Omega will ever bare her throat for. He knows that for Y/n this is something very special and she already knows that she wants him. ‘I’m the luckiest Alpha in the world.’ He mumbled before sinking his fangs into her perfect, soft skin right over her scent gland. He sunk his teeth as deeply as he could and though he hated her pain filled whimper, he knew he would cherish this moment forever. After another moment he pulled his fangs back, grabbing onto her thighs that were around his waist and sitting up on his knees with her on top of him. He held her up, hands massaging her ass and producing a filthy moan before she leaned close and dug her sharp little fangs into his scent gland making him grunt. ‘Sharp little fuckin’ fangs, precious Bunny…’ he hissed, allowing her to sit like that for as long as she wanted which was about 5 minutes.

When marking their mate they inject venom into the bite so that the mark never fully heals, also injecting their scent that will linger for several days to a week. Alphas venom is strong smelling and so they don’t have to inject very much into the bite, Betas are the same, Omegas however are not. Their venom has their scent but it is slight and therefore they need to inject a larger amount of venom until their mate carries their scent. Klaus would have happily sat there for an hour if that’s what his Omega needed to mark him properly.

She eventually began taking her nails through his hair and scratching his scalp roughly. It was fucking delicious and he couldn’t keep his moans in if he tried (which he didn’t). ‘So good Omega, make your Alpha feel so good.’ He rumbled, her fangs receding from his flesh before she pressed her lips to his roughly.

‘My Alpha is so good to me, so patient. Letting me mark you up so good. Thank you Alpha.’ She praised and he pecked her lips once more before lifting her up and setting her onto the recliner. ‘Wait, I should get-‘

‘You sit down and let Alpha take care of you.’ He told her before standing up straight and falling forward as his head spun. Y/n was quick, catching him and easing him down onto the chair which she thanked God was there or she definitely would have dropped him. She needed to inject him with much more venom than he did her and dizziness is often a side effect for several minutes at least.

‘Now you sit and let me pamper you.’ She giggled, hopping up and making her way to the kitchen where she got him a juice box and 2 of her grandmothers freshly baked cookies. ‘Drink Daddy, it’ll make you feel better.’ He groaned, pulling her to his side and feeding her a bite of the cookie before eating it himself and moaning at the wonderful taste. ‘Yeah, my grandma can bake! Don’t worry, marking is the only time I will insist on babying you, every other moment is all yours.’ She giggled, kissing his nose sweetly before hopping up. ‘You eat those, I’m gonna get my grandpa some clean clothes and change for the game. I’ll be right back. Don’t get up until the dizziness is gone. You could hurt yourself and then you won’t be playing in any game.’

He rolled his eyes but nodded none the less. ‘Okay Bunny, I’ll wait right here.’ And he did just that. She was upstairs for about 20 minutes before coming back down in a pair of tight red jeans and a tight long sleeved black top that she had cutely painted his number on. ‘Are you ready to go?’

‘Are you?’ She asked, giggling before he stood and took the bag from her, making to move to his car.

‘Let’s go Omega!’ With that he led her out of the house and to his car where he took her to his home instead, taking his time to get ready for his game.

Klaus held his Omegas hand tightly in the crowd of people, not willing to lose her here as they walked onto the field and down the side to where the team sat on the sidelines.

‘Are you sure I should be on the field? I don’t want to cause a problem or-‘

‘You wont, I promise. You are going to stay with Enzo and Kai’s Omegas beside the team. Coach lets them stay there so they don’t have to be alone in the bleachers. I don’t want you up there.’ He told her, walking passed his team mates and over to a bench with 2 other girls and 2 players in their uniforms.

‘Hey Klaus! You made it, we were worried! Heard what happened earlier, everything okay?’ One of the guys asked, everyone now paying attention as Klaus greeted the 2 team mates with some kind of handshake.

‘Yeah, all good. I don’t want them anywhere near her, but we’re okay. It’s alright if she joins you girls, right?’ He asked and the Omegas both smiled excitedly.

‘Of course! We’re always happy to have another friend to keep warm with on the bench.’ One of them joked, both laughing though Y/n could see they were bundled up as it got colder, the sun setting quickly now.

‘I didn’t even consider that. Oh fuck, it’s gonna be cold!’ She laughed though she was concerned as Klaus kissed the side of her head.

‘Don’t worry love, I came prepared.’ He spoke, opening his bag as the girls sat on the bench. ‘This is Bonnie and Vicky and their Alphas, Enzo and Kai. They’re my best friends, you’ll see them a lot.’

‘It’s nice to meet you. Glad there’s some guys on the team that aren’t complete assholes. It’s great to meet some mated Omegas too, most of them are uh…’

‘Sluts. The word you’re looking for is sluts.’ Vicky laughed, pointing down the fence to see several girls practically naked and flirting with Marcel and Lucien hard.

‘I was trying to be nicer but yeah, that’s the word.’ She chuckled before Vicky and Bonnie led her to the bench.

‘We have some blankets here that you can share, we always snuggle up here while they play. You’re gonna be here from now on, right?’ Bonnie asked and Y/n looked back to see Klaus looking up with a hopeful face making her smile.

‘As long as everything is cool with my grandparents then yeah, and I’m sure they won’t mind me coming to the games.’ Klaus leaned down to where she sat with the girls now, kissing her cheek before pulling a thick blanket from his bag and handing it to her.

‘This will keep you plenty warm, I promise. If anyone gives you any trouble you go to the Coach, he won’t let anyone bother you girls. Wish me luck.’

‘Not that you need it but good luck. You’re gonna do great Daddy.’ She whispered the last bit in his ear before kissing him. ‘Be careful.’

‘Always.’ He assured her before running back to his team.

‘It’s nice to see Klaus have someone. His parents have never come to any of his games since he started playing in Sophomore year. His brother has come a few times with Rebekah but he’s in college now.’

‘Yeah, Elijah is crazy busy with school. His parents are assholes though, fuck them. I’ll be here every game from now on.’ She assured them, pulling the blanket up and around herself as the temperature dropped.

‘That’s what we like to hear! He’s such a sweetheart, he deserves an Omega all his own.’ She agreed, knowing that her Alpha was good and deserved to be happy.

As the night went on the girls wrapped the blankets around each other, huddling up to keep warm. ‘Having another person makes all the difference with the cold.’

‘I can tell, I’m going to keep a pillow in Klaus’ car to sit on, this bench is cold as fuck on my ass.’ Y/n joked, Bonnie and Vicky giggling but also both agreeing.

By the end of the night they had won and Y/n knew that she had made her Alpha blush more than once with her cheering for him. She promised herself to be here from now on as he clearly loved having someone there, promising to bring her grandparents one day too. They would be happy to cheer for him and her grandfather would love to see high school football.

‘Did you have a good time at least?’ He asked as they turned into her driveway after getting a late dinner, ready to go in and relax after the long day they’d had.

‘It was fun, yeah! I’ll be more prepared next week.’ He looked over at her, his eyes excited with the idea that she will come to his games from now on.

‘I’m happy to hear that. I loved having you there with me, though your cheering was very loud.’

‘Oh, you loved it.’ She teased, allowing him the time to get out and walk around to her door to lift her out.

‘I really did.’ He smiled, carrying his bag with them into the house and locking the door behind them as Y/n texted her grandma to tell her she was home safely. ‘I’m gonna make sure the back door is locked.’ He told her as she began climbing the stairs.

‘It is! It’s always locked Klaus, we-okay. Whatever helps you sleep.’ She rolled her eyes but appreciated his double checking as she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. She fixed her nest quickly, not wanting it to look too messy before grabbing her pajamas and changing quickly into the shorts and tank top. When Klaus walked up the stairs she was waiting in her nest and he couldn’t help but smile as he shut the door, taking in the scent of her and himself, noticing his jacket was hanging at the end of the bed.

‘I’ve never been in a nest before…it looks really comfy.’ He told her, sliding off his shoes and stripping his clothes down to his boxers before crawling in.

‘Better not have. No other nest you should ever be in.’ She grumbled, nuzzling close to him and pressing her lips to his jaw teasingly.

‘Never want anyone else.’ He swore, taking hold of her hips and pulling her close.

That is how the couple spent every night from then on. Klaus practically moved in with his Omega to get away from his horrible parents, happy to get to sleep in a comfortable nest every single night and to have family who supports him more than just his brother and sister.

They were together until they left for college together, Klaus meeting Y/n’s mother before they left and making as good an impression as he could on the traumatized woman. He proposed to Y/n that very night and they got married during their second year of college. Klaus never had to worry about his Omega second guessing their relationship again after that, she was all his and he would be all hers for the rest of their eternity together.

Klaus M. Masterlist

[cataclyyyysma]

I think the Rena Rouge and Ladybug fight was really interesting because most of the Marinette salt I’ve seen has been at least somewhat based around the notion that she will not suffer any consequences for her decisions.

As if the lies she’s been telling since the beginning of the show haven’t already been eating away at her slowly, destroying her confidence in herself and challenging her interpersonal relationships. As if she isn’t a teenager trying her best to do what’s right for everybody else all of the time. She thinks she’s being selfless by not telling Adrien the truth. She’s trying to protect him because that’s what she’s good at and what she’s been encouraged to prioritize as a superhero.

Contrarily, she’s been told countless times that she’s not allowed to be fully honest with the people she loves because it would put them at risk. She’s essentially been trained to believe that lying is a necessary burden she has to take on. Alya, on the other hand, sees through all that, hence her telling her boyfriend her secret identity even though she wasn’t supposed to, making her essentially the only one who can properly knock sense into Marinette and help her come clean to Adrien about Monarch (and maybe her secret identity?)

Rena Rouge was definitley in the right but I do think it’s important to remember that Marinette lying to Adrien doesnt make her a terrible person/superhero/girlfriend, it just makes her flawed and flawed people can grow and change. Also, the responsibility to tell him should never have been hers in the first place. It’s not her fault her boyfriend’s dad was secretly a supervillain tormenting all of Paris. Not exactly the kind of news you break casually over tea.

Personally I’m just really glad the show is taking it so seriously and allowing it to be the plot point it deserves to be. I want Marinette to eventually get to a place where she can finally be honest with her loved ones so her and Adrien can BOTH heal from the trauma being Ladybug and Chat Noir has caused them.

[g0ldenrav3n]

I always think about Neil fresh out of the nest, so hurt so confused so scared. That when he’s in still in the nest, he completely loses consciousness for the pain. So when he wakes up in the airport, he’s so confused to be there and so confused that he’s not with Jean. He thinks so many languages are being spoken now, but French is the one he’s gotten used to the most so he’s all shaken up. When he calls Wymack, I hope everyone understands is just out of necessity. He always had only himself, he grew up to be so resilient, but when he’s in that difficult situation, he has just one chance to make it right and to survive, so he takes that. And then when Andrew comes back, I always think about this moment: “Neil was the first out and he caught Andrew's door before Andrew could close it. Andrew didn't move, but there was just enough room for Neil to lean in and get his binder. He straightened and turned to find Andrew had shifted closer. There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind. They'd been apart for seven weeks but Neil keenly remembered why he'd stayed. He remembered this unyielding, unquestioning weight that could hold him and all of his problems up without breaking a sweat. For the first time in months he could finally breathe again. It was such a relief it was frightening; Neil hadn't meant to lean on Andrew so much.” This moment is the most precious one for me, it had rendered me so speechless when i first read that. Andrew didnt move. He actually got closer to him. And Neil remembers exactly the time in which they had been apart. 7 weeks. He says that only by his weight, he remembered why he had stayed. Why he had stayed there, at the foxhole court. Because Andrew has this power of being so strong in his essence, so reassuring, so headstrong. He had been so convincing, to the point of making him stay. Neil says that Andrew had been capable of holding him and all of his problems “without breaking a sweat”. Without struggling, without judging, just doing it. I wish everyone could see how Andrew was so gentleman in the way he acted towards Neil. He gave him protection without hesitation. He said: “what would it take to make you stay?” He literally says:”name it and I’ll give to you, cause I want you to stay, you need to stay.” And literally Andrew benefited literally nothing from Neil staying. If I can add my personal idea, him staying only made Andrew’s life harder. Because he had someone else in his protection, and let’s say it, with Neil being there, Kevin’s protection was put under risk. In that part, Neil goes back to breathing when he’s finally close to Andrew again. He says that “it was such a relief it was frightening, that he hadn’t meant to lean on Andrew that much”. Mind you I’ll say this, until Andrew actually come back, no one actually knew that Neil was struggling with his absence. I don’t think he is unreliable, I think he’s mechanical in all of his acts, so technical that he doesn’t let himself feel the loss, the absence, the trauma, the terror of seeing Andrew feeling pain, of Andrew finally dropping that act and showing himself for what he really is: someone’s who’s suffering, someone that needs a break. Neil doesn’t let himself feel how painful it is to be without Andrew. And I wanna add that even though Andrew was so hurt, looked so young, even in his weakest moment, Neil still saw him when he came back as the strongest and the only one that could hold him.

[a-capricious-creative]

first i saw someone trying to vilify harry with the snape and his worst memory, then i saw someone try to vilify him with cho’s behaviour defending marietta and her wanting to confide in harry about cedric, and then someone vilify harry for using sectumsempra on draco.

i have a question. do you lot go through life behaving this entitled towards everyone?

the person was saying harry was emotionally constipated for not understanding cho. i’m sorry but i didn’t realise it was cho’s choice as to whether harry opens up or not about the highly traumatic and painful experience he had in the graveyard.

she takes harry on a date, expecting harry to open up about this traumatic experience to a person he doesn’t know very well - and she has the audacity to cry and throw a fit when he says no? cho, its not your choice as to whether harry opens up about trauma or not.

“oh but cho is grieving” - harry literally shared a heavy experience with cedric in the triwizard tournament on top of having a growing friendship with him and he saw it happen and brought his body back, how the fuck do you think he feels? cho wanting harry to understand is the most tone-deaf thing i’ve ever heard.

and the marietta situation. i can’t believe this is even a question. harry knows voldemort is back and that the wizarding community is in danger. but the ministry, in denial, is enforcing shitty curriculums that forbid them from using magic. so harry starts dumbledore’s army to teach people about defending themselves so they can protect themselves against voldemort’s tasks.

but marietta, for whatever unknown reason, sells them out. she ruins what is possibly the only opportunity for protection against the darkest wizard of all time.

and cho has the nerve to defend marietta and try and vilify hermione and harry for shitting on marietta? have you ever heard of a little thing called accountability?and you have the audacity to vilify harry to shutting cho out after that? so pathetic.

so many people expect harry to be all understanding. they expect harry to understand a teacher who belittles and abuses his students. they expect harry to understand a girl who expects him to open up about his trauma despite barely knowing her and whose friend ruined the one opportunity for protection against voldemort. they expect harry to understand the spoiled bully who’s had life on easy mode this whole time and never resist an opportunity to torment him and everyone he cares about.

harry doesn’t HAVE to understand anyone. he’s not emotionally constipated, he’s got enough pain on his own and he doesn’t owe cho anything, he doesn’t owe any of these people anything.

funny how you lot seem to have empathy for characters who barely get any screen time or lines in the book but not the one whose emotions and perspective is literally what makes up the entire book series. you’d think that character would be the easiest to empathise with.

it’s like walking up to someone whose broken their leg and expecting them call you an ambulance. like mate, i’m having traumatic nightmares, i can’t see my godfather cuz everyone thinks he’s a murderer, nobody believes me about voldemort being back, i have to put up with weekly lessons with a teacher who actively enjoys belittling me ever since i got to the school, the spoiled brat whose bullied me since i got here is continuing to do just that, i’ve got a teacher who gives me painful detentions when i’m etching into my own hand and who banned me from quidditch after i got justifiable angry at the aforementioned bully and who stops me and others from doing and learning magic that can protect me from voldemort and is completely ruining the entire system of the school. and you’re calling me emotionally constipated for not sitting here to coddle you? like fuck off i’m not emotionally constipated, i’m knee deep in my own shit.

[zolass]

Detectives Attraction Ch. 06 Top Male Reader x Male Yandere Harem

Didn't know what to do with the chapter- but another one down and some sprinkled past trauma- yes M/N is 28 all characters are late twenties or early thirties.

Also I took yesterday a day off of writing from almost two weeks going strong with writing- and thanks for 500 followers <3 I don't know if I should make a special thing but first I'll probably redo my request page TvT

cw: Mention of past trauma, murder, usage of drugs followed by overdose. 1.4k words.

“The guy mentioned the Serpents, that he was loyal to them–” M/n felt how the honey brown eyes of his partner seemed to burn a hole into the side of his face, most probably in shock, “What? The Serpents have something to do with the break ins in your apartment? That seems– dangerous…” Elias eyebrows furrowed, as he looked back at the road from the passenger seat, leaning back into the sun warmed leather. 

M/n only let out a grunt, “They’re not fond of the idea of me getting closer to their shady business– even if I’m most definitely sure they would get away scott free with this shitty system we have,” Both of them knew it was true, “If they suddenly say I resigned to a different station– don’t believe it, I’ll mostly be gutted like a fish in same shady underground warehouse–” Elias pulled a face of disgust, “But I’ll advise you to then lay low– I know you’re a good man– a little naive that you think that you simply can change this place without doing any harm…” M/n continued, before he stopped in front of the building of Alicia Wallace.

“But in this world– it’s not possible to achieve good without doing bad,” M/n mumbled before he got out of the car. Elias sat in the passenger seat for a little longer– the words of his partner echoing inside his head, making him unable to not glance at the man that just got out. Following suit, Elias rounded the car after getting out and closing the door, “Does that mean you’ve–” Elias didn’t continue his words, as if they were suddenly stuck in his throat, but M/n knew what he wanted to know.

“Yes I have– a few times… obviously not against any of these people we’re trying to protect– the ones that only have people outside of the corruption of these groups,” “But what if they were forced?” Elias mumbled, honey brown eyes laced with concern. “That thought crossed me once too– but if you were forced… you wouldn’t take someone’s life with a smile on your face,” M/n grunted as his e/c eyes landed on Elias. “It was pretty early in my life when I had to– realize it. It was in a cruel way too– I lived with a happy family, a mother, a father and two siblings, a sister and a brother,” M/n glanced at the house in front of them– it looked perfectly cut out of a story. 

But slowly it turned into a different one– the paint and layout slowly changed, into the house he lived in as a child. The facade was beautiful– just like the one his family wore. “I’m the oldest of us three kids– I was basically the protector of my siblings and I liked to know with me they were safe,” M/n spoke- his arms crossed over his chest. “It was in the middle of spring in which everything seemed to turn worse for me and my family. I came home from school when I was twelve, I thought it would be a day like always– coming home, getting ready for lunch with my family, going out to play or study– just a normal life, but it was suddenly so far from that.” M/N grinded his teeth at the memories.

Elias looked at the detective, who looked so lost in thoughts that he didn’t know what to do so he simply continued to listen– slightly confused why the other even told him his story. “When I stepped into the house– the first thing I noticed was the smell– it was thick and disgustingly clinging to my tongue and nose, it was blood I had found out moments later– when I stepped into our dining room that was connected I found them, my mother, my siblings and my father,” a short heartbeat of silence, “Only one of them was alive– the other three laid dead on the floor– blood pooling underneath them while their empty eyes simply– started in a state of shock into nothing.” Clearing his throat from the feeling of the tightness that squeezed his throat, “You might wonder who it was– it was a surprise for even myself back then– my father. I still remember how– traumatized he looked even if he was the one to pull the trigger, after all he was the one with the gun in his hand,” 

There was a moment of silence between them, the fresh breeze sending a few shivers down Elias’ spine, additional to the story. “Well after he seemed to realize I was there– he only told me to call the police and I did– they took him with them he’s in a prison since– sixteen years now, since this unfortunate thing happened, I never visited him– it might be because I want to believe that he couldn’t have possibly done it– after all he basically worshipped the ground my mother walked on he loved us all dearly, they had disagreements of course everyone has– but they never fought, hell even got violent with each other was not a possibility,” M/n spoke, “That’s why I’m still doubting if he really was it– if he wasn’t just a pawn in a larger game. It came out after investigation that he indeed was in trouble because he stood with one foot in a syndicate,” E/c eyes met the honey brown ones, “It was always strange– of course he could’ve been acting and suddenly snapped but I never tried to get behind it, but what I did was get rid of the syndicate my father was associated to,” his hands clenched into fists.

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Elias asked confused, which made the other raise an eyebrow, “Because while all of this happened there were news reporters who put all of it to freely read, if it was on paper or on the internet– ‘The L/N murder’ or whatever they called it back then–” “Isn’t your last name Howard?” Elias suddenly asked, which made a small chuckle ripple from M/n, “Well after I got sent away– and the rest of the relatives and reporters jumped onto the scandal like starving hyenas, I changed my name at that time I didn’t want to have any connections anymore that tied me to it– now all that’s tying me to them is my blood,” M/n muttered. 

Elias honey brown eyes were focused on his partner, before he silently nodded. “Let’s go in– maybe Alicia feels up for a few more questions,” the taller man spoke before he stalked up to the steps of the house, the other detective following him close behind. The H/c male was ready to knock on the white colored wooden door, when he noticed that the door wasn’t even fully closed. With a frown he pushed against the door, which opened with a scraping and squeaking. 

Both men drew their guns, before walking in with slow and silent steps. Their eyes scanned over the place in case of someone lurking and waiting with a weapon in their possession. But soon the only place they didn’t look in– after finding the house basically abandoned, was the bathroom. After they both stood in front of the door, Elias gave a nod towards the other who kicked the door harshly. 

Yet what they saw was– not what they thought.

Laying in the bathtub was Alicia, her eyes unresponsive, and as they walked closer M/n checked her pulse– none. Glancing at her wrist, he could only sigh. Small needle imprints. Said needle laid beside the bathtub, “Looks like an overdose,” Elias mumbled, before he sighed and took a few steps out of the bathroom calling for reinforcement, before stepping back in. “Everywhere we go death seems to have already taken root, huh?” M/n on the other hand didn’t respond immediately.

“She was the last one that could’ve been a resource to getting closer to the Serpents– they really are efficient in what they’re doing,” The detective grumbled, before he stepped out of the bathroom after hearing the nearing sirens.

“Looks like I have to take a different approach,” M/n mumbled to himself as he glared at nothing in particular.

After putting Elias up for informing the closest relatives of Alicia Wallace’s, M/n was glancing at the lit up screen of his phone from time to time. He was wearing a dark coat, button up shirt, a pair of good fitting pants in which he still could run and boots– just as he stopped outside of a club. 

He knew it was a place where he could either gain information– or simply have a hit put on his head.

[avo-gal]

Here's an idea how Abt Varian is the mum of the group instead of Nuru?

First of Varian is ACTUALLY AN ADULT in vat7k whereas Nuru is still 16 (yes ik she's a princess but she's not in line for the throne nor is she in her kingdom for most of vat7k). Varian is also the leader of the group and arguably the most experienced (except for MAYBE Hugo but I bet Hugos never fought a magic demon lady or study a stone sent from the heavens that destroys everything. Plus Hugos only more experienced w like stealing and street smarts).

Also Nuru and Yong are more or less the same age Varian was when a bunch of crazy shit and trauma happened to him so it makes sense that he would want to protect them (and he def can he's smarter and stronger than some ppl realize).

In general the idea is just rlly cute and I will also accept mother Hugo as he becomes more acceptant and open (which also allows him to worry more Abt his friends).

Okay that my yap for now :)

[sal-absinthii]

Really, it goes back even further than that, to his parents. He had two loving parents who raised him for the first year of his life (and being in hiding, they probably also spent way more time with him than many parents are even able). That's just a basic attachment thing, that first year can make a really big difference in terms of what a kid carries through life.

I don't really see Malfoy coming into this at all; he wasn't bullied by Malfoy, as OP says, they were rivals. Malfoy was a jerk but he never had any power over Harry, and other than their fight (which Harry was more than capable of returning), all he really ever did was say mean things. Harry certainly went through a lot of shit during his time at Hogwarts, especially after Voldemort's return, when the press and government turned on him -- this is very stressful (and would be even for an adult), and in a lot of ways is worse than normal bullying would be, but we don't actually see Harry being bullied. Snape and Umbridge are the only ones I would consider to bully him at all, and that's bad but it's also still a different kind of thing. Even at his lowest moments, when almost the entire wizarding world seems to have ganged up on him, he isn't alone and he knows it. He has the support of Ron and Hermione and usually the rest of Gryffindor, as well as Dumbledore during his life, and the Weasleys, except for a bit where Percy doesn't like him, and the whole Order of the Phoenix are always on his side and believe him.

The time when he's actually bullied and abused is when he's with the Dursleys, and it's extraordinary that he came out of basically perfectly well-adjusted. He has his normal teenage angst moments, although frankly with the amount and scale of trauma he goes through during the series and responsibility he has put on him, he is WAY more normal than by all accounts he ought to be. The only thing I can see as a direct line from his treatment by the Dursleys to his later life is that he always prefers to take action himself, not trusting or believing that the authority figures who are supposed to handle it will do so, but this comes across as more of a personality trait than something that he actually needs to overcome emotionally.

His life with the Dursleys is so cartoonishly bad it's kind of easy to lose sight of how it would feel to go through all of that. Not only does his family not want him, tell him he's useless, give him much less than their son, and turn a blind eye to his emotional and educational needs (not just at Hogwarts but also during primary school), they also half-starve him, imprison him, prevent him from contacting his friends, threaten his pet, use often-extreme physical violence against him as a common occurrence, allow other relatives to set animals on him, and so on. This is horrifying abuse. Any one of those things would seriously mess a kid up, and yet Harry never once seems to internalise it. He knows it's bad of them, he knows he doesn't deserve it, he does not exhibit an unusual degree of fear around them or around others (on the contrary, he often doesn't seem to have enough fear for the situation!), he does not think of himself in any way that reflects what the Dursleys have said about and to him, and despite apparently never having had any friends until he meets Ron and being himself a celebrity, is able to have normal social interactions with peers. His first instinct when he gets a lot of money and unrestricted access to sweets -- as a starved 11yo -- is not to hoard it to himself, as would probably be expected and couldn't really be held against a kid who has never been full or had treats like that in his life, but to empathise with Ron's poverty (with the emotional intelligence to understand it and not to embarrass Ron) and to immediately and freely share what he has. I like to rag on Harry because of how utterly exasperating he must be to characters like Snape who are supposed to be protecting him through all of this, but it really is incredible.

It would not really be a mark against him if he did not intuitively have this social facility and streak of generosity in the same way that it is a mark against someone like Malfoy, who never knew the hardships Harry did as a child. The fact that Snape, who also grew up in poverty and neglect, turned out to be an awkward weirdo in school who was attracted to having strength and power does not actually imply any pathological weakness of character on Snape's part, because it makes sense that a kid in that situation would turn out that way. Is it good or healthy? No, but it is entirely reasonable. The fact that Harry turned out so well-adjusted is a credit to Harry, but it is not really a point against other abused children who did not. Snape did not have anywhere to learn this from. Harry had very little to learn this from, but at the very least, he had a stable and loving home for the first year of his life, which Snape did not, nor did Tom Riddle. Any argument that compares Snape's behaviour to Harry's in this manner is making the mistake right from the beginning of thinking that Harry is the usual way an abused and traumatised child/teenager ought to turn out...but this just isn't the case. While we do see more of it directly with him than with other characters, because it's told from his point of view and we are given insight into Harry's mental state that we don't get for other characters, on the whole, Harry's angst, misinterpretations, and emotional volatility don't seem any more severe than Ron's, Hermione's, or Neville's (he actually seems a bit better off than Neville tbh, it's fun to roll our eyes at how arrogant Harry comes across to certain biased outsiders, but he's not actually arrogant, just prone to trying to do everything himself, and for a kid who's spent his whole life hearing what a worthless ungrateful freak he is, the fact that he becomes neither an insecure wobbling blob nor an overcompensating narcissist is, again, pretty incredible). The people making that argument intend it to be a slight against Snape, but they're really just doing a disservice to Harry's resilience and the power of his early attachment, as well as showing that they've got a very unrealistic expectation that a kid who has not experienced love or stability or good role models, who has seen conflict resolved through anger and violence, and who has mostly had to fend for himself without a support system will somehow intuitively develop these emotional skills and healthy traits completely out of nowhere and in a setting where to do so would be a liability.

The fact that Snape does end up on the good side after all is because he did have one positive experience of friendship in his life. That is not to say, as some shallowly and imo unfairly interpret it, that Lily herself 'made' him good or that it was anything at all about Lily's alleged innate goodness, but just the fact that he did have one person through whom he was able to see what it was like to have a friend, to care about someone and to be cared about, however clumsy and ill-fated that young adolescent relationship turned out to be, was enough to show him that there was any other option possible. He did have a choice; that's the whole point of him as a character. And he made it. But the only reason he had the choice in the first place was because he had a friend and that friendship showed this to him. I would say that of the three, it's Tom who didn't have the same choice. Of course his actions were voluntary and he has responsibility for them, but he never seems to have known love, nor wanted it, because it's hard to want something you have never experienced or even seen around you. He learned how to act around people in order to get them to do what he wanted, but it was all calculated and none of it was genuine, unlike Harry, who gave so freely right from the beginning for no reason other than he wanted friends and had an understanding that this is what friends do, because he has empathy for Ron's poverty and embarrassment in a way Tom was incapable of and Snape was never in a position to give.

The point of comparing these three poor, abused half-bloods caught up in fate is not really that some people are born good and some are born bad and that's just that, the point is the difference the experience of love can make to the outcome of similar horrible experiences. We should have empathy for Snape, like Harry is able even when he hates his guts more than anyone else in the world, not use Harry to blame Snape, when the major difference between them -- their support system -- is the most relevant factor. It's like saying "well there's no excuse for this disabled person to not be able to run a mile when this other disabled person can" while comparing someone who's paraplegic to someone who's deaf. Yeah, they're both disabled, but they differ hugely in the extent to which that impairs the relevant skill of running. Or, to use an in-universe example, accusing Snape of unilaterally being an 'oppressor' and Lily always a 'victim' because he has higher blood status than she does and seeing their dynamic only through that one myopic Tumblrified lens while ignoring the fact that she was also pretty and popular and successful and middle-class and came from a home that was, at bare minimum, stable and non-violent.

"Harry also had a shitty childhood and was bullied, but he didn’t turn out like Snape."

True, because:

Harry found refuge at Hogwarts, where he felt welcomed, supported, and protected from the very beginning. Severus did not.

Harry had adult figures who protected him, cared about him (Hagrid, the Weasleys, Dumbledore, Lupin, Sirius...), and showed him affection over the years. Severus did not.

Harry had two friends who would have torn apart anyone who dared to strip him in front of the entire school. Severus did not.

Harry and Malfoy had a rivalry because they were on equal footing. Severus was bullied by a group of guys who attacked him together and were far above him socially and economically.

Harry was rich—disgustingly rich, to be exact. Severus was disgustingly poor.

Harry felt loved from the moment Hagrid came for him just after his 11th birthday. Severus never felt loved in his entire damn life.

Harry was favored by Dumbledore and other school staff on multiple occasions. Dumbledore forced Severus to stay silent about an attempted murder against him.

Harry had choices. Severus had nothing.

[syndrossi]

Hi! I think there's was already an ask similar to this one, in which case sort for repeating myself, but... So in your Resonant and various aus of it, how does Jon handle going from "the honorable Ned Stark's only shame" to "the Rogue Prince's greatest pride and joy"?

I mean the two men are mirror images of one another in ways that Jon probably notices. He might not know it, but Daemon also lied for him just like Ned, but unlike Ned, he is very committed to consistently choosing the twins as priority, while Ned was too weak willed to choose between Robert and Jon and by allowing Jon to the Wall and never saying anything of the truth would even say he chose Robert.

I mean, saving a baby from certain death is not a hard decision especially when it is your sister's, but sometimes it might feel as a duty. An honorable duty, but still. Meanwhile, Daemon had all the outs but he still careened headfirst into most devoted fatherhood. Its funny that the kind of person Ned would look down on for his overall reputation does a better job than he did... (for the record, I am not anti-Ned)

I think Ned shows himself in the best light in Restoration AU in terms of risking a great deal for two children that, as far as he knows, are entirely unrelated to him (but might be Jon's uncles). A lot of what he's risking is for his Jon, because their presence/existence would bring a lot of dangerous scrutiny to Jon if he doesn't provide an alternative explanation. ("Uh...they're my bastards too!")

But it also gives r!Jon a fresh window into what it was like growing up as a bastard, scorned and treated differently. Yes, it was to save him, but it still hurts. I've said it before, but there are two different kinds of bravery, and Ned shows one of them in risking his family's safety to take Jon in. But the other is emotional vulnerability/bravery. He could have let himself be more open in his love for Jon (albeit at the cost of hurting Cat)--or even told him the truth when he was old enough to keep quiet about it. I don't know how much of it was Ned still struggling to face the trauma of that dark period of his life (father and brother essentially tortured to death, his sister kidnapped for what he assumes is rape and then dead in childbirth, and then at the end of the war, his best friend celebrating the atrocity of Elia's, Rhaenys's, and Aegon's murders).

Jon is a constant reminder of that. Every day Ned must look at him and see both Lyanna and the rest of Jon's murdered kin. So I think he kept a distance as much out of self-preservation as protecting Jon.

So r!Jon has a better understanding of Ned's bravery and his avoidance by getting to witness it almost as an outsider.

In Restoration and the other AUs, there's a lot more distance between him and his childhood/Ned, so it's hard to hold a candle to Daemon's inferno. And Daemon is working from an entirely difference set of circumstances! He has desperately wanted sons of his own, and although they have a connection to a family he has no love for, he happily ignores it. He doesn't having the looming threat of Robert swooping in, discovering the truth, and ordering his son(s) killed. The only thing he has to hide is their bastard status, and like you said, Jon doesn't know about that, since he addressed it so effectively!

So Daemon's baggage is entirely unrelated to his children. It's mostly with his brother, which you could squint and find some parallels with for Ned-Robert (foster brothers, Robert also as king), but again, Viserys has no beef with his sons--quite the opposite! So Daemon is free to be ferocious in his love, and that's also his personality, hence the inferno.

I doubt Jon is going that deep in his comparisons, though. He knows the Ned loved him, but at a distance. And he knows that Daemon will scour the world to find them, and leap onto a boat to skewer a man trying to kidnap them. I do wonder if he, on some subconscious level, equates the openness of Daemon's love at all to not being a bastard.

As far as how he handles it...we see some of Jon's struggle sprinkled throughout Resonant. His thoughts that he doesn't deserve it, that he's not a child, the pangs when he sees how loved and accepted Rhaenyra's sons are by Laenor and Rhaenys. He tries convincing himself he's not desperately thirsty as he drinks it all in.

(And then we have Rhaegar, and the way that Jon can idealize what being his son might have been like, based on Resonant!Rhaegar's personality. Ned as "what was," Daemon as "what is," and Rhaegar as "what could have been." Jon's fury at Robert Baratheon is something that we joke about a lot, but it's very real for him.)

I think it will take testing the boundaries of Daemon's love for him/them repeatedly for Jon to finally accept it as unconditional. Saving them from a would-be kidnapper is one thing--showing that he still loves them through tough times is another. Does he have to be the perfect son, the way that Jon Snow tried to be the perfect bastard (and it was still never enough)?

[ghostcreaturetypething]

Imagine you are a child. A youngest child. Your mum died when you were a baby. Your dad is…grief-stricken, obsessed, more of a drill sergeant than a father. But you aren’t alone. You have this brother. And he’s only four years older than you, but from the moment your mum dies he steps up as your parent, and he does his best but…he has the same parents you do. One dead, one whatever the hell John is. He has very little experience to go off as to what a good parent should be. But he feels like he needs to be one for you, so he tries, and he tries, and he’s your brother and he’s your mum and he’s your dad, and he’s sort of all you have, honestly. And he’s annoying, and over-protective, and however old you get he only ever sees you as his baby brother. Or his kid.

But you can’t complain about your parents to your brother because he is your parents, and your sibling, both. So in that you sort of are alone. But you don’t know any different, so you grow up thinking that that’s what a brother is, and then you grow up a little more and realise no, he was always trying to be more than that, and then suddenly you are both adults and you aren’t the baby hiding under your brother’s wing anymore, but you’re still stuck with him, this brother who insists on putting you first in everything he does, just like a mother would — but he’s not your mother, or your father, he is your brother, and he’s only four years older than you, an age gap that seems to get smaller and smaller the older you both get. And your brother — he’s flawed, and he has daddy issues, and he gets angry too easily and sometimes he hits things, which would all be very well if he was just your brother.

But he’s not just your brother, is he? He’s your parent, he had to parent you, he’s spent his life parenting you, which you never asked for, but he did it anyway because that’s just the kind of person he is, and for most of it he was a child himself and god he did his best and it wasn’t always enough but you are so grateful to him, anyway.

And now you’re both adults, two boys all grown up but he, he is…Not. Actually. It happened so incrementally, just like growing up, that you didn’t really notice until it was too late. But suddenly your strong, capable brother is a child. Which, to be completely honest…you don’t really know how to deal with. And, I mean, it does make sense to you, you suppose, because you’re clever, and you went to school, and you’ve always loved research, so you know how these things work now, a little. Your brother is a child now because, simply, he’s fucked up. From the trauma. The trauma of your childhood, right, but of course it wasn’t trauma when you were living it, it was just your life, and you didn’t know then that your brother was having to be someone so much older than his years because he’d been like that for as long as you could remember, but now he isn’t, and you are left with the child he should have been, who needs taking care of but still insists on taking care of you no matter what, and sometimes he kind of…can’t. Not like he used to. Because while you grew up, your brother grew down, and your brother who is your parent is suddenly somehow a child still — no, not still, he was never a child, but he is now, throwing tantrums and pouting and messing around, ever immature, frozen at the age you never got to see him be because you were a baby and then you weren’t a baby but by that time that person he was for such a short time was gone. Your brother stopped being a child at four years old. And now you’re finally old enough to try and parent him back…and he seems to need it. Your brother who never got to be a child is now very much a child, but he’s also still your parent, this child, and you are in your twenties and you have grown into a clever, sensitive, caring, capable young person and your brother…your brother has grown backwards. And you want to take care of him. But it’s hard, and he doesn’t let you, doesn’t want to let you, and he’s still the only parent you have so sometimes, deep down, you still want him to take care of you, and he does, and he does, and he does.

But the older you get, the less you need him, the younger he gets, the more he needs you — until you do need him of course, and then he is there, always there, reverting back to the person who saved and loved and cared for you as a child. And it’s sort of difficult to reconcile the two versions of him in your head. And you find yourself getting exasperated with his childish antics and then you find yourself smiling at him fondly as a glimpse of a much younger person shows through the shell of the soldier your brother was forced to become and then you find yourself getting angry with the overprotective controlling superior officer he tries to be and then you find yourself deeply grateful for the unshakeable big brother who saves your life over and over and over again.

And it’s disconcerting. And it’s difficult. But you owe him everything and you love him even more and so you just keep living with it. With him. And you don’t mention it. And he doesn’t, because he’s him and he never mentions anything. And you wonder if he even notices that things he used to face without fear, blank as a brick wall, make him flinch now. If he realises the steady, dependable big brother he had to be when he was too young to be depended on is now a mess of turbulent, childish emotion. If he thinks back to his littler self and envies him his competence. You hope not. You hope not. You know now the weight he carried. At least a little. And you think, infuriating as he his…he deserves to be a child at least once in his life dammit, just like everyone else. So eventually, you begin to catch yourself smiling at him more and more often, and you begin to grow desperately fond of the parts of him that are still young, the parts littler you never got to see. And sure, he annoys the hell out of you sometimes. But you are grown now, and you are understanding, and patient, and kind. And you love your brother. So you don’t mention it. And he doesn’t, because he’s him. But you make allowances for him, and you step in front of him now sometimes, and you let him be who he is, as long as he’s not hurting himself. Basically, you step up. Because you can, because you’re older now, and you’ve realised that, in some ways, you are actually more grown up even than your big brother. And so you try your best to look after him. Just like he used to do for you.

[hyperions-light]

Favorite Sentence Wednesday Saturday Thursday

Extremely belated tag game fill— thank you @basedonconjecture for the tag! Really enjoyed this one!

Unsure who has done this already, but my tag list is: @thedissonantverses | @ofcrowsanddragons | @biowaredisasterbisexual | @mageofquandrix | @bygonesigh | @taashyvashedan | @lurkiestvoid | @dymme | @corvus-frugilegus | @broodwoof | @darethshirl | @i-had-bucky | @vespaer77 | @bodysnatch3r | @the-sparrohawk | @becausedragonage | @mercars-musings | @erin-unknown | @lottiesnotebook | @katuary | @littlemissgeek8 | @flowersforthemachines | @wardensantoineandevka | @mixupmycota | And also YOU, if you want to play =3c

At first I was like hmmm is it conceited that I have so many favorite sentences from my own stuff? But then I decided NO, it wasn’t, because when I write I make things that *I* enjoy, so it SHOULD have a bunch of stuff I like in it lmao. And I hope your work does, too!!

So here are some absolute bangers, brought to you by ME:

He imagines himself a garden, seeds bursting up through the soil of his flesh, to make it more palatable.

From Flesh, a body horror about feeling yourself decay in real time <3 One of my fave things I’ve made, I think!

He felt— he had felt that he loved them. That his level of commitment, his devotion, his elevation of their family had been proof of it. 

But had it been them he truly valued, or the facsimile— the dream of them that lived within him? 

When they failed him, when they did not live within the strictures that he had set he had discarded them; could it be called love which was so inflexible, so militant in its demands? 

From the beating of his hideous heart, a meditation on love, by a character who’s bad at it, in the middle of a mall thoroughfare accompanied by someone he hates.

“My God. Shut the fuck up!” Doffy shouts, the sound unnaturally loud in the silent field. “I don’t care if you’re sorry! I don’t care if you regret it! It’s done, it’s over, there’s nothing you can do. You can’t change it with your whining and your crying and your lamenting. 

“I’m sick to fucking death of you and Rosi mourning the person you wanted me to be. I’m right fucking here. I’m right here! I’m just too— too disgusting for you to love, anymore. Fine. Fine! I understand, so just fucking go! Don’t come around me and my family, begging, with your sanctimonious eulogies for a person I never was!”

From it deepens like a coastal shelf, an AU of another AU about generational and family trauma. I think this sentiment is very relatable, although this character and his circumstances are decidedly less so.

Homing’s father was a towering force in his childhood; irrepressible, waspish and domineering, he demanded excellence from birth, though Homing had little to give. His face was made of sharp, angular lines, well-suited to the severity it often wore; his clothes pressed, immaculate; his back straight.

As an adult, he recalls his childhood in broad, sweeping strokes; outlines of events and places, like great splotches of paint on canvas. He remembers bright and cloudless skies beset by towers of white; many-colored parades through shining streets.

From the same fic as above, the opening paragraphs, minus a few sentences. I think they build the mood well and give a strong impression of the POV character’s father, which is vital to the success of the piece.

To each member of his family, to many cowering future corpses had he said, “My brother’s blood is my blood. That which offends him, offends me.” And for this protection, this service, he was repaid with betrayal. 

That vaunted compassion, which his Sainted parents had so prized— that innocence and naiveté had made his brother ripe to bend to the first kind hand. To be leashed and made obedient to larger dogs laboring beneath Heaven.

From Resentment, a character ruminating on his relationship with his brother, before he kills him. No one ever reads this one because of the Major (canonical) Character Death, but I LOVE it.

Its use is reserved only for those worthy of it; no nameless underlings, no stepping stones on his way to greatness. It is a Heavenly instrument, each sacral bullet purifying the flesh in which it lodges.

Same as above— I love ‘each sacral bullet purifying’; it sounds so good.

This place is a greying husk; the sea and sky pale versions of what was, the people, the plants, and animals— everything, like a grotesque imitation of what came before.

Haunted, a reincarnation fic featuring the villains, who have some truly impressive baggage to deal with. Think this sets the tone for this part, well!

A part of Crocodile misses the park as it was, odd as that is. It was undoubtedly worse, but—it was familiar. He had walked through it on his way home so many times that he’d become fond of it. And now it’s gone. But such beautiful things have grown in its place.

Haunted, again. Think this line captures a very relatable sentiment, for people.

The telephone wires blur before his eyes, the colors of the houses and the sunset running together like diluted paint.

“I have wasted so much time,” he says, and he can hear his voice crack on the last word, much as he’d like to deny it.

Haunted. This moment really gets to people. MC is talking about his father, now old, with whom he has reunited after many years of estrangement.

“You may kiss—” Bon says, but they don’t finish, because Doflamingo grabs him, lifting him from the ground and kissing him as though he means to put every ineffable feeling, every moment of desperate wanting and desire he has ever experienced into a single act, and Crocodile can hear the crowd applauding, but it doesn’t matter, because—

—Because for a moment he transcends time, space, and possibility, and he knows they are on the deck of his ship, leaving the harbor for the first time with a new purpose, to traverse the great, grand sea—

—and as they pull apart, he opens his eyes to find Doflamingo before him, tears streaming down his face, and he realizes that everything he believed lost lives in the man in front of him; he is that world entire.

He realizes that they are found; they are whole; and that what they have built together transcends all that he once had. He laughs, and clutches Doffy fiercely, holding the universe in his arms, and—at last—he feels free.

Haunted. The Big Gay Wedding finale! Was really happy to find a way to pull together the themes, in this chapter, even though it wasn’t in the original plan for the fic.

It is Viago they want, despite what he has done; they return to him ceaselessly, like a river to the sea.

From speak to me in the language of reverence; was very pleased with the metaphor, here!

Wow, if you actually made it down here, thanks so much for indulging me!

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ translation + video with sub EN (Part 1/3)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for an MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ | Part 1 (1-3) | Part 2 (4-5) | Part 3 (6) | ASMR

[Warning]: The content of this MQ is explicit and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

cw: trauma, injury, near-death experience, (mutual) confinement, arguably justified drug use, intimacy as a coping mechanism for PTSD, consent is implied rather than stated. Please proceed with caution and avoid reading if these topics may be distressing or uncomfortable for you.

Special thanks to ivi (@ivioivioivi on twitter) for helping me with the translation of this date~

[Subbed Video, TURN ON CC!]

✂———————–

[Transcript Ver]

—[Part 1]—

I feel like I'm going to die.

The world is spinning, and the sudden sense of weightlessness crushes my heart as if it could burst at any moment.

I cross my hands and press my head tightly against the back of the seat. The oxygen mask on my face inflates and deflates with my rapid breathing, and white mist engulfs the breathing bag in the blink of an eye.

Captain: Our plane has encountered an unexpected situation during the flight...

Captain: Please fasten your seatbelts... Do not panic...

The hoarse announcements, deafening roars, and helpless cries collide chaotically, pulling me into a state of bewildered despair.

…Am I going to die here?

A figure appears before my eyes, and amidst the violent turbulence, his face seems to grow increasingly blurred.

Several pieces of luggage crash from above, hitting my shoulders and completely shattering all my thoughts.

The scenery outside the porthole speeds past in reverse, with raging flames and thick black smoke seemingly burning wildly in my eyes, leaving only silent pleas and prayers.

??: Buddha, please protect us...

??: No...

As an invisible huge wall slams into me, the air in my lungs feels as if it’s being forcibly squeezed out. Amid the piercing roar, my consciousness is gradually torn and pulled away.

MC: Lucien…

=Meanwhile in another place=

Deep beneath the surface, bright light illuminates the rough concrete walls and rows of metal instruments. Several blonde researchers move back and forth through the somewhat modest laboratory.

Lucien stands in front of the second-floor platform, calmly looking down without revealing any emotion.

A foreign gentleman stands beside him, his profound green eyes gleaming sharply as he raises his palm.

??: Doctor X, I didn’t expect our formal meeting to occur at such a chaotic moment.

Lucien: Indeed, it is a bit unexpected.

Lucien: However, to smoothly avoid the turmoil in such a short time and maintain such a well-equipped research environment...

Lucien pauses, his narrow eyes showing a faint smile devoid of warmth.

Lucien: It seems that aside from research, Professor Holden also holds considerable authority in other areas.

Holden: Professor Lucien, if you want to stay in such a volatile place, you must be well-prepared.

Holden: Risks and rewards always go hand in hand.

Lucien: In that case, I think we can further accelerate the pace of the experiment to minimize the risk.

Lucien: I don’t intend to let meaningless disruptions become the key turning points of the past several months I’ve worked on.

A silent tension faintly brews. Feeling a slight sense of pressure, Holden raises an eyebrow and places one hand on the railing in front of him.

Holden: I’m just as eager as you are, Professor.

Holden: But in these chaotic times, there are always accidents.*

As if in response to his words, a barely perceptible hum comes from above. The ceiling trembles slightly, shedding a shower of fine gravel.

But everyone present seems accustomed to it, continuing their work unfazed.

Lucien also looks up without surprise, gazing into the distance.

Lucien: Accidents are meant to be controlled and enjoyed.

Lucien: Chaos will ultimately become the catalyst for new discoveries, and that’s why I chose to work with you in the first place.

As he speaks, he turns and walks away. Just as he steps into the open elevator, a voice calls out with a laugh from behind.

Holden: With Professor Lucien joining us, I suppose we should indeed be more confident.

Lucien doesn’t respond. With a loud rumble, the old elevator doors slowly closed behind him.

The sound of metal grinding outside the elevator continues to roar persistently, like the distant echoes of endless artillery fire.

The fading afternoon sunlight streams in from outside as the elevator doors open.

Three days have passed since the meeting with Professor Holden.

The lab operates around the clock, almost pushing time to its limit, but the results are still not ideal.

Just as Lucien expected.

He extends his fingertip, verifying one fingerprint scan after another, before stepping out of the unassuming old factory.

The scent of gunpowder constantly assaults his nostrils. Scattered armed personnel stand guard in front of barbed wire fences among the crumbling ruins on both sides.

Lucien walks steadfastly through this land where turmoil is the norm. Only when he passes a corner does he finally stop and take out his phone.

The signal bars silently returned to full. While waiting, he looks up at the sky not far away.

A vast expanse of dark clouds churns and burns fiercely. Soon, the phone in his palm vibrates.

Lucien opens the message box and sees a text from the girl six hours ago, informing him of her boarding.

She is on a private plane back with several film industry executives. He instinctively calculates her estimated arrival time in Loveland City—

She will land in about four hours. His expression softens unconsciously, and a hint of a smile appears at the corner of his lips.

Lucien's Message: Miss Producer, you must be tired from your business trip. Thinking about how you'll be home soon… I feel a little lonely too.

Lucien's Message: Looks like I want to wrap up my work early so I can get home sooner to see you.

Pressing the send button, he hears an increasingly loud whirring sound that continues to fill the air.

Lucien looks up again. In the distance, a small passenger plane makes a sharp turn and plummets, veering at an unusual trajectory. Thick black smoke billows from its right wing.

A fighter jet closes in from behind as the passenger plane plunges into the distance, skimming beneath the low-hanging clouds.

In an instant, it merges with the smoke.

He watches calmly, then looks down to confirm that his message has been sent successfully before turning to leave.

The dust floats in the wind and settles on his shoulder.

In a world where people depart at any moment, he simply reaches out to brush off the dust before walking away in the direction he came from.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: 意外 (yìwài) is the keyword of this date. It refers to something unforeseen, whether a surprising event or an unfortunate incident. This word generally means "unexpected" or "accident." But to keep the repetition intact and considering how, more often than not, it carries a slightly negative connotation of things going wrong, I choose to only use "accident" to translate the word throughout the whole date.

✂———————–

—[Part 2]— Video Timestamp: [04:02]

Plop—

Hearing the abrupt noise, I immediately press myself against the wall, shaking as I tighten my grip on the scalpel in my hand.

In my narrow field of vision, a hunched old woman passes by the intersection.

Her figure is shrouded in gray, and with each unsteady step, a patch of nearly black bloodstain on her back comes into view, sending a violent shudder through me.

I finally realize that I haven’t truly escaped death—

I’ve merely fallen from one desperate situation into another.

Three hours ago.

Co-Pilot: We are currently unable to determine the captain’s physical and mental condition...

Co-Pilot: Amid the chaos, the aircraft veered off its autopilot route and entered the airspace of a conflict zone, where it encountered a warning attack...

Co-Pilot: Although we managed to make an emergency landing, the current situation remains unclear...

Co-Pilot: We will continue to do everything possible to contact the airline and relevant authorities.

In a crude medical shelter, with his right arm wrapped in a rough bandage, the co-pilot speaks heavily.

Several fellow passengers frown, wanting to say something, but in the end, it turns into a few muttered curses.

Faced with the absent-minded captain, he almost single-handedly managed to execute an emergency landing in the woods.

He then proceeded to provide emergency bandages to the more seriously injured passengers in an orderly manner.

With the communication equipment failing, he relies on his memory of the flight path before the crash, leading the group toward a possible inhabited area.

It wasn’t until dark that we finally found a rundown bungalow on the city's outskirts, flying a Red Cross flag, where we fortunately received temporary assistance.

Everything feels like some kind of miracle in the midst of immense misfortune.

Co-Pilot: I suggest we stay here for now. This place is relatively safe and on the other hand...

Co-Pilot: We have several seriously injured passengers who can’t be easily moved.

Passenger: Can’t we ask them to go somewhere with a signal and contact the embassy for us?

As the words are spoken, the rushing wind carries a pungent scent of blood. They speak anxiously in a language we don't understand, pushing a surgical trolley as they rush into the building.

They already have their hands full with the constant influx of injured people.

No one speaks again, and I lower my head as well.

By great fortune, I’ve survived the disaster.

Gratitude and trance consume me at the same time. At this moment, I don’t even know how much time has passed—it feels like time has frozen into a blurry black mass.

Will Lucien know that something has happened to me?

Will my flight make the news as a ghost flight? Will he see the reports saying my fate is unknown?

I bite my lips tightly, trying to force my muddled mind to think, but my eyes slowly grow wet.

I can’t even imagine what Lucien would look like at that moment, but I know very well that staying here is the safest and most responsible choice for both him and me.

...I must survive.

✂———————–

Boom—The distant sound of what seems to be a collapse suddenly pulls me back to reality.

We’ve underestimated the level of chaos here; accidents can happen at any moment.

The conflict has reached the camp, and in the urgent evacuation, there’s only a loud noise left in the world.

When I come to my senses, I find myself alone, with nothing but a rust-covered scalpel that I don’t even remember holding.

The streets are even more desolate after dark, and I force myself to stay alert almost instinctively.

What should I do? How can I survive?

Only deathly silence answers me.

I clench my hand repeatedly, trying to force myself to stop trembling, but it’s no use.

Suddenly, a click sounds from behind me, and a cold sweat instantly soaks my skin.

Someone has appeared behind me, stepping on shards of glass.

I tremble so much that I can barely breathe, forcing myself to silently hide the scalpel in my sleeve. Turning around, I raise both hands to show that I mean no harm.

What comes into view is a pair of black leather shoes covered in ashes, yet there’s not a single crease or scuff on them.

They are not combat boots, nor do they bear any traces of blood, which makes me breathe a sudden and grateful sigh of relief.

Perhaps someone from the medical team has found me. With that thought in mind, I lift my head, only to find myself staring into a pair of familiar eyes.

Those dark, indifferent eyes seem to contract intensely the moment they see me.

The world suddenly loses all sound, and on the eerily empty street, Lucien stands across from me.

MC: ….

I don’t dare to move, not even to blink.

It feels like a grand hallucination on the verge of collapse, one that’s ready to burst like a bubble the moment I move.

My blurred vision makes his face even more indistinct, and that figure also seems to walk toward me in a daze.

He, too, seems to hold his breath. His steps gradually quicken, stirring the hem of his coat and the dust in the air until he stops right in front of me.

His chest seems to tremble uncontrollably, and his slightly shaking fingertips fall upon my face. Cold. Undeniably real.

Lucien: …MC?

His low, hoarse voice feels both near and distant, leaving me dazed as I gaze at him, feeling his uneasy yet fearful touch brush against my cheek.

MC: …Lucien, is it really… you?

MC: Am I… going insane?

Lucien: [his shaky breath as he speaks༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽] …Fool, how could I… be just your hallucination?

He lifts my hand and brushes it against his cheek as if confirming*.

The cold, dry sensation spreads through my fingertips, and just like that, the tension that had been stretched to its limit finally snaps.

MC: Lucien…..

MC: Lucien… I’m… so scared…

I don’t know how I appear in his eyes at this moment. All I want is to hold him tightly. To be held tightly by him.

His unbearably tight embrace brings pain, but it’s the reality I desperately need right now.

This man who has always been effortlessly composed now seems to have lost all sense of restraint.

Lucien: [still shakily gasping] …It’s okay.

Lucien: It’s okay now… MC.

He murmurs the words over and over, I don’t even know if he’s saying them for me or for himself.

Lucien: I’m here…

Lucien: I'm right here by your side... Don't be afraid...

The head resting against my shoulder feels so, so heavy as if something even weightier has sunk into the depth of our souls along with it.

I don’t know how long I’ve been crying.

Only when I have finally let out all my emotions and lean into his embrace do I realize that I’ve arrived in a warm place—

Surrounded by irregular rock walls, the air is filled with a damp, mineral scent.

The rising steam soothes my nerves, and I tug at his collar with more ease.

MC: It's okay now, Lucien...

MC: I'm not afraid anymore...

Lucien: [in a soft, hoarse voice] I’m afraid.

His voice is so faint it feels like a figment of my imagination. I want to turn my head to look at him but find myself gently and firmly held in his embrace.

Lucien: It’s safe here. I’m staying here for now.

Peering over his shoulder, I see an open door leading to a clean bed, a few sofas, and a table.

In the corner of my vision, a gray toothbrush rests inside a glass cup, and the razor I gave him is neatly placed.

I freeze for a moment, feeling like something is off.

MC: Didn’t you say you were on a business trip…?

Lucien: I am, and I’ve indeed been staying here for a few days.

Lucien: I know you must have a lot of questions. To be honest, so do I.

Lucien: But right now… there’s something even more important to me.

Following his lowered gaze, I see the dirt covering me and my tattered clothes, torn in places I don’t know.

My drooping strands of hair are covered in dust, resting against Lucien’s clean shirt.

MC: I got your shirt dirty.

Lucien: ...Stop saying such silly things.

He gently pecks the space between my brows, his fingertips naturally undoing the loosened buttons on my clothes.

MC: Lu—!

Lucien: Shh….

His lips move downward, pressing insistently against the corner of mine.

Though very light, it is filled with an undeniable firmness.

Lucien: [gasps breathlessly] Don’t push me away.

Lucien: [X2] I also need to confirm that you're really here with me.

Lucien: [X3] Let me help you… okay?

It isn’t really a question. His voice lingers at the edge of my lips, flowing with his breath, making my head feel light and dazed. Instinctively, I nod at him.

His fingers move slowly yet deftly. Bit by bit, patches of deep bruises become more visible.

His warmth spreads through me faster than the cold.

I’m too embarrassed to look at him, so I bury my face deep into his chest instead. I feel him scoop me up in his arms and carefully lower me into the bathtub’s warm water.

The sudden heat stings me, jolting me awake as I grab Lucien’s wrist.

MC: Wait, the other passengers I was with, because of the conflict, they’re now…

Lucien: Don’t worry, someone will take care of it.

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] Right now, only you matter the most to me.

There seems to be something growing wildly beneath his calm gaze. He subtly and seamlessly intertwines his fingers with mine, gently submerging my body into the water.

The deep and shallow bruises appear even more striking in the clear water. A dull ache seeps into the water, causing a small, instinctive sigh to spill from my lips.

Lucien: Relax.

He applies slight pressure, gently prying apart my fingers that are curled around my knees. Carefully avoiding the bruises on my thighs, his hand presses downward.

MC: [moans] L-lucien…

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] I just want to help you relax a little more.

Lucien: [gently] At least for this moment, be a good girl... okay?

Another question that isn’t really a question.

I can’t get a single word out**, so I can only bite my lower lip, watching as he kneels by the bathtub, a soft towel in his hand, lightly stroking over my arm.

Lucien: Does it hurt?

His low, hoarse voice is caught in his throat as if suppressing something before finally smoothing into a calm steadiness.

MC: …A little.

Lucien: [chuckles, then whispers softly] Then I’ll be gentler.

His gentle, unhurried touch warms one arm before moving to the other. Then, it follows the top of my foot, slowly moving upward.

As he leans down, his large shadow envelops my whole body, and I instinctively tremble with each faint mark he leaves behind.

Something seems to be stirring madly in his calm gaze, suppressed within his silence, driving him to confirm me even more deeply and intimately.

I feel as if I’m sinking into the warm water, yet also weightlessly floating with it, my hands instinctively clutching the fabric at his chest tightly.

Lucien: [HOLY THE BREATHLESSNESS AND SUDDEN URGENCY?] …bear with it a little longer… wait for me...

As if to soothe, his even more scorching lips descend, teasingly hooking and coaxing my lips and tongue, relentlessly drawing me in.

At some point, his entire body has also become drenched, his drooping bangs soaked with water, revealing those unfathomably profound eyes.

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] I'll help you get rid of all the pain.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: the wording in Chinese is ambiguous; it could mean either that he is making sure she’s not his hallucination or that he’s reassuring her that he’s real :") and this ambiguousness HURTS bc you know that he also has the same fear as her (this will be expanded more later on memory silhouette). This guy really said, "…Fool, how could I… be just your hallucination?" yet he’s in disbelief himself that she’s real and I’m just SOB-

**: 说不出任何话 literally means "can't say any words at all." However, the nuance is deeper than just the inability to speak. It can imply being so overwhelmed by emotions (orcoughpleasurecough) that speaking becomes impossible. Besides being overwhelmed, it’s also often used when somebody wants to say something but physically/emotionally just cannot.

✂———————–

—[Part 2]— Video Timestamp: [10:36]

Even when carried to the bed, my whole body still feels light and weightless.

An oversized shirt is put over me, its scent different from the dense smell of gunpowder as it carries the light freshness of grass that I’m familiar with.

Lucien casually changes into fresh clothes, grabs a few towels, then pulls me into his arms and smooths back my damp hair.

MC: …How about I do it myself?

MC: It’s inconvenient for you like this, and it’ll just get your clothes wet again.

Lucien: But it seems my hands can’t let go of you… they need your warmth even more.

His gentle yet firm fingertips stroke the back of my neck, resting the side of my forehead against his shoulder. His legs settle on either side of me, enclosing me within his territory.

The world is enveloped in tranquility, with only the rustling sound of a towel rubbing against damp hair remaining.

MC: It must be pretty inconvenient for you here too, there’s not even a hairdryer.

Lucien: Don’t worry, the equipment here is a bit more complete than you think.

His low voice brushes past my ear, making me look up in confusion.

MC: Then why do you…

Lucien: Sound of the hairdryer would make you uncomfortable, so this will do.

I freeze for a moment. That trace of distant rumble and roar still seems to be howling, yet at this moment, they appear to settle into a quiet stillness within his deep eyes.

Only now do I notice more clearly that he seems to be slowing down his breathing as if he's cradling something fragile.

MC: …Do I look like a total mess?

Lucien: How could that be? To me, I never would have imagined that in a place as desolate and ruined as this…

Lucien: I could still be lucky enough to encounter such a beautiful and resilient color.

Lucien: Even though I never wanted you to be here.

Lucien: I can’t help but wonder… if I hadn’t stepped out the door today if I hadn’t turned left...

His words come to an abrupt halt, followed quickly by a faint chuckle that carries a touch of self-mockery.

Like a staunch materialist*, yet hesitating over irrational ‘what ifs’.

The rhythmic beating of his heart echoes in my ears, but that subtle, unintentional quickening of its pace seems to take on another name—

It’s called ‘lingering fear’**.

The arm holding me seems to tighten in the next moment, and I can’t help but clutch the front of his shirt, burrowing myself even deeper into his embrace.

Lucien: Right now, I’m already by your side.

Lucien: I’ll take responsibility for driving away all those unpleasant things lingering in your brain.

MC: Really?

Lucien smiles lightly, and the tension in his brows and eyes finally eases slightly.

Lucien: [chuckles] As a brain scientist, it would be difficult for me to lie to you about this.

Seeing him feign seriousness while explaining, I can’t hide my laughter at his dry joke.

MC: Lucien, let me tell you about my brush with death.

MC: Maybe facing it head-on will make it less frightening.

Lucien doesn’t speak for a moment, only silently changing to a new towel.

I rarely see him like this, so I can’t resist reaching out and gently smooth the furrow between his brows.

MC: [worriedly] Do you want to hear it?

Lucien: …Perhaps, the one who is more afraid is me.

He closes his eyes, presses a light kiss to my fingertips, and finally looks at me with an even deeper calm.

Lucien: I’ll do my best to hold back the ache in my heart and listen carefully.

MC: Lucien, you’re just as much a fool as I am.

Lucien: [genuinely] You're probably the only person in the world who would praise me like that.

In his tender, lingering kisses, I finally steady my mind.

MC: Actually, I still don’t have a clear understanding of what exactly happened during that time.

MC: I only heard the co-pilot say that the captain suddenly had some kind of mental issue…?

MC: Later, our plane accidentally entered a no-fly zone, was threatened, and ultimately had to make an emergency landing.

Lucien's breathing seems to have stagnated for a moment, and his eyes droop slightly.

Lucien: Your plane… Did the right wing get hit?

MC: Hmm? It seems... to be true?

MC: I was sitting on the plane's right side at the time, and all I could see was black smoke. But I was so scared then that I couldn't really tell...

Recalling that scene, I still instinctively curl up in lingering fear, not noticing the way his eyes suddenly contract sharply.

MC: But luckily, everyone was safe. We just kept walking and were rescued by a local civilian medical organization.

MC: But the scene was too chaotic. Later, the gathering site was also affected, and I got separated from the main group during the evacuation.

I pause, looking into his eyes with mixed emotions.

MC: And then I met you.

MC: …All of this is just too unbelievable.

MC: The accidents in this world really catch people completely off guard. I feel like I’ve had the worst luck… but at the same time, I also seem exceptionally fortunate.

Lucien: ….

He falls silent again, it's unclear what he is thinking.

I don’t know how much time has passed. After ensuring my hair has been completely dried, he casually throws the damp towels aside.

The world suddenly quiets down, and Lucien wordlessly raises his hand, his fingertips gently brushing over the bruises on my body.

As our skin touches, a slight itch ripples through my skin, accompanied by an extremely faint pain sensation.

Thinking of his confirmation in the bathtub not long ago, I can’t help but feel my face grow slightly warm again.

I lift my head and kiss the corner of his lips, lingering until our breaths intertwine, then smile and wink at him.

MC: [smiles softly] Don’t worry. With you here, I already feel much better.

MC: When I get up tomorrow, I’ll definitely return to full strength. Then, we can…

As I speak, I suddenly stop, realizing something.

MC: Are we... still near this area?

Seeing him respond softly, my heart tightens.

MC: You said you’ve been here for a few days, so that closed-off lab you mentioned... is it here?

Lucien: Yes.

Lucien: Even though this place is far from tranquil, I have a reason that makes it necessary for me to be here.

His voice possesses a certain indifference and resolve. I gaze at him for a moment before slowly speaking.

MC: Are you doing something dangerous?

Lucien: ….

Under my gaze, Lucien remains silent for a long time, long enough that I almost think he will find some way to sidestep the topic until his low voice finally breaks the silence.

Lucien: The research institution I’m working with now is one I had contact with years ago when I first joined BS.

Lucien: They have a considerable amount of multinational projects, as well as some that can hardly be called ethical or compliant. In one way or another, some covert dealings are involved.

Lucien: All I can say is, yes. The things I’m doing are not safe.

Lucien: So I hope you don’t go anywhere and just stay by my side.

Seeing him be especially frank about his thoughts, I can’t hold back my smile.

MC: Lucien, I'm not asking about myself, I'm asking if you will be in danger.

He freezes for a moment, then smiles without the slightest hesitation.

Lucien: [totally not lying-] No, I won’t.

Lucien: I should be able to get what I want soon, so don’t worry.

He presses a light kiss to my forehead, pulls back the blanket, and wraps me in its softness.

Lucien: [chuckles] But… I think that’s enough of a bedtime story for now.

Lucien: Just like you said, I want to see you full of energy as soon as possible, smiling without any worries or strain.

Looking at his incredibly close face, I smile and lean in closer to his scent.

MC: What should I do? I’m still a little reluctant to sleep.

MC: It might be a bit late to say this now, but after so many days apart, I’ve really missed you all along.

Lucien: Me too.

Lucien: So all you need to do is close your eyes, I will always let you feel my presence and longing.

Like finally returning to the most secure and reassuring home***, I relax and close my eyes.

One after another, incomparably intimate and affectionate kisses fall upon my face and between my lips, as if scattering in tiny, delicate fragments that sink into the depths of my heart—

—until I fall into an exceedingly gentle dream.

.

.

.

When I open my eyes again, daylight is already shining brightly.

Lucien isn’t by the bed. As I get up and step out of bed, I notice that my wounds seem to have been tended once more.

MC: Lucien…?

The room is quiet. Breakfast is laid out on the table, along with a laptop and a slightly old-fashioned phone.

He hasn’t left a note, but I still smile with an unspoken understanding.

I’m just about to wash up when the phone screen suddenly lights up. A message pops up, showing Lucien’s number.

Lucien's message: Good morning MC. I’m already at the lab.

Lucien's message: I’ve arranged for someone to contact and assist the passengers who were with you, so there’s no need to worry.

Lucien's message: I’ve also informed your company that you’re safe. Work matters can be left to them for now.

Lucien's message: Get some rest, I’ll return as soon as I can.

Sunlight spills in from the balcony, and a gentle breeze brushes against my face, carrying a touch of winter’s coldness.

Yet, I don’t feel the biting cold. Instead, there’s a sense of warmth and security.

Though the scene before me remains desolate and ruined, the world feels tranquil right now, free of the terrifying tumultuous noise.

I step onto the balcony and see golden light magnanimously illuminating the earth. A small bird perches under the eaves, occasionally lowering its head to preen its feathers.

A faint wave of emotion wells up in my heart. Perhaps this place would have been entirely different if not for all the turmoil.

But what I’ve never noticed is—

—the little bird on the eaves has only one wing.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: Materialism is a philosophical belief that only physical matter exists and that everything can be explained through the physical world and natural laws. It also can be a philosophical viewpoint that denies the existence of the spiritual world, fate, and alternative possibilities as only physical matter exists. Materialists prioritize what can be observed, measured, and tested. Lucien mocks himself for speculating about "what ifs", because it involves considering possibilities that may have no empirical grounding, which contradicts materialist core belief that only the physical matters.

**: "后怕" doesn’t refer to *just* fear, but a delayed sense of fear, a realization of how terrifying something was only after it has already passed. He has just come to the realization of how close he was to losing her forever, and it filled him with 后怕. In some contexts, it can even be directly translated into PTSD.

***: I translated it as 'home' for brevity, but the term "归处" (guīchù) is composed of two characters: "归" (guī), meaning "to return", "to belong", or "to take refuge", and "处" (chǔ), meaning "place" or "location". Together, "归处" conveys the idea of a refuge or a place where one truly belongs. For MC, Lucien is not just a home to return to, but also her 'place' of belonging, someone 'where' her heart feels at peace, much like a final destination where one finds solace and stability.

✂———————–

Part 4 & 5-> [Here]

[gholateg]

Full out Treasure Island Ben Gunn expy.

Tobias-Jamai-Censis was the son of Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul, who traveled with his father and was a victim of the crash, he managed to escape the destruction of the ship, and after witnessing his father's death at the hooves of Visser Three, fled into the woods of Earth.

He spent many months attempting to survive, and eventually was found by the humans Elfangor gifted morphing technology.

By this time however, due to the trauma of the crash, witnessing his father's death, and being utterly alone on the primitive deathworld that is Earth, Tobais had, in the human Marco's words. "Gone Native" and had started to cover himself in camouflage leaves and twigs.

The humans then managed to coax him into their equivalent of civilization, and after acquiring a human morph, he joined in their rebellion against the Yeerks.

Sadly, during their first of many major raids against the Yeerk Pool, Tobias had no choice but to become a nothlit to both not become infested, and to protect his new human rebellion friends.

After escaping the pool, Elfangor's child did his bloodline proud and continued the fight against Yeerk oppression, even while trapped in an Avian form.

However, due to his new physiology, Tobias retreated in to the woods and went further native, hunting and living as an Earth Avian, while still working with the Animorphs.

And that's as much as I got in the tank right now. Basically Tobias was always just an Andalite, went native, retreated into the wilderness because the war took too much from him, and he wanted nothing to do with the fame and accolades for helping to win the war.

I like to imagine that post war nobody really knows much about Tobias and due to a combination of the animorphs not really wanting to spill his entire life story for him and people's understanding of how morphing works there's this weird consensus that Tobias must have been like. A hawk that somehow got morphing abilities and decided to join the war effort. People are torn on whether he took over the life of Tobias Fangor or it's just a cleverly forged identity. (cont.)

(cont.) Marco thinks it's the funniest thing ever and helps feed the fire. Tobias is completely out of the loop but if he wasn't be right there beside him. Cassie hate it, but is torn about saying anything because it's starting debates about the sentience of animals and is helping her to push her (hork bijar) cause. Jake is tired.

This, in my mind, is canon. Always. Regardless of circumstances. Because we really don't get any information on Tobias's post-war status other than that he's "forgotten," and I love the idea of him as this cryptid who inspires all the rumors.

[gigabyte-flare]

He's so freaking precious. I just wanna squeeze him

[cheesenchalk]

i never know how to phrase it but something about the way beatles biographers and people in general view paul's reflexive placating persona and determination to smooth things over as manipulative or duplicitous and john's reflexive barbed persona and habit of lashing out as brave and subversive despite both being equally defensive mechanisms to shield themselves from the world that resulted in them saying things that weren't true says more about how we culturally view kindness or friendliness as inherently untrustworthy or flimsy and anger and carelessness as more believable as someone's true nature than it says about either of them in actuality